#and the only reason i was able to figure his character sheet out was because of all the [drugs] i did when i made it

[mayspicer]

Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:

My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x

The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...

[nickmarini]

Ayden’s Build 

TL;DR: Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 8 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 9 (Peace Domain). Feats: Squire of Solamnia, Remarkable Recovery, Warcaster, Knight of Crowns, Spelldriver, Tough.

Building Ayden was a joy and a journey. To begin we were told we had 20 levels to work with and stats of 20 across the board. The only thing I knew about Ayden from the session 0 was that he was going to be a Cleric of the Everlight and that I wanted to make him the best support character I could. I also knew that the Dawnfather was aware of the mission briefing and so would have directed his growth to the task at hand. 

Stats of 20 meant multiclassing into any class was possible and that any ability score based bonuses or proficiency based abilities were going to be very good. I figured that with a warlock and a sorcerer we’d have some pretty good counterspelling and 9th level spell access, so I didn’t worry myself about either of those, instead focusing on making sure we all survived. 

The Dawnfather and The Everlight share 2 of 3 Domains. Life and Light. The Everlight’s 3rd domain is Peace. The Peace Domain cleric is an excellent subclass and its 6th level ability, Protective Bond, was something I knew I wanted to build around. The ability to take hits for, and aid, my siblings while teleporting around the battlefield is an excellent support ability and it also lets allies in the bond do the same, fostering sibling unity and cohesion.

With the Dawnfather having Nature as his unique domain separate from the Everlight, and literally sending himself to Exandria to infiltrate a city full of the greatest mages of the age, the Oath of Ancients Paladin seemed like an obvious path. It is the nature Paladin, (his domain) and 7 levels gives you both Aura of Protection and Aura of Warding. This means as Ayden moves through the battlefield with Protective Bond he will be granting allies +5 to saves from his cha as well as resistance to damage from spells. Incredibly good going up against the wizards of Aeor he knew he would encounter. I didn’t want to go to 10 with Paladin because I didn’t want to be immune to frightened. I just felt that fear played too large a role in the reasons the gods were here and although aura of courage is probably my favorite ability going back to 3rd edition, I felt like it wasn’t right for Ayden. He had to fear in order to reinforce his need to hope. 

These two classes were set relatively quickly and then I began looking at how else I was going to build him out. 

I really liked the idea of being able to grant my allies some extra attacks and so I was looking at battle master to get commanders strike and goading attack as well as maneuvering attack to help take hits for and position my allies. Action Surge is also a great ability that could really come in handy if I needed to save someone and needed one extra action to do so. 

I was also looking at the 2nd level Divination Wizard ability Portent. The ability to fully dictate 2 rolls is very powerful in certain circumstances, especially if the numbers are very high or very low.

Both these seemed good but weren’t feeling totally right from a character perspective. They felt too forced.

As I was playing around with these two classes I was also building Aydens backstory. I really liked the idea of him being agriculturally focused, as this aspect of the Dawnfather is actually his youngest. Sun begets days, and thus time and seasons, and as civilization evolves agriculture follows. The fighter levels lent the idea that he has spent some time training under a knight or some such warrior, and I knew that he would eventually find his way to Trist to begin his tutelage and become her cleric. I liked there being these different eras of his life. 

It was around this time that I got an awesome email asking me to describe Ayden visually so that the incredibly talented Hannah Friederichs and Cael Lyons could begin to bring Ayden and the Dawnfather to life. I wanted Ayden to be a simply dressed with a shield he took from his mentor, but no sword for striking. They sent 4 sketches and told me I could mix and match as I desired. Image #1 however was exactly as I had envisioned him. It was the simplest and had this depth to his eyes that told the story of a much older soul in this 15 year old body. It was so perfect that it made me realize I had been going in the totally wrong direction with fighter and wizard. The concepts of nature and agriculture were suddenly staring me in the face. It was not wizard, but druid, and his mentor could have taught him to be a paladin as easily as fighter, but if he is the bringer of agriculture who has he brought it to? A remote tribe still hunting and gathering was the answer. Barbarian therefore replaced fighter. I can’t tell you how influential the sketch I received was. It felt like a bolt of lightning suddenly clarified everything. 

I was for sure cleric 6, Paladin 7 and now looking at druid and barbarian. 

I didn’t know Druid subclasses very well but Circle of the Stars jumped out from the pack just with its name. The Sun after all is a star. When I read its 2nd level abilities Starmap and Starry form it was so obvious. I can cast Guiding Bolt to set up those attacks I wanted to grant, and I can glow instead of wild shape and either heal more or have a massive bonus to maintain the concentration spells I knew I wanted to cast. For the keeper of time to know how to read the stars just felt right. It also feel right that the druids of a tribe that had been hunting and gathering during the tumultuous Calamity would have learned to navigate by the stars, a singular constant in an every changing age. 

Barbarian has a number of interesting subclasses but none felt like they clicked. 1 level of Barbarian though, for a character with 20 dexterity and 20 constitution, catapults your AC to 20 and it also gives you a proficiency in Constitution saving throws if you take it as your first class, again reinforcing those concentration rolls. He was found as a child by this barbarian tribe and his first class is also his first community. Barbarian was the strong foundation I would build upon. 

I was now Cleric 6, Paladin 7, Druid 2, Barbarian 1. Reorganized to be the order Ayden would have taken them in it becomes the following:

Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 7 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 6 (Peace Domain)

4 more levels to distribute. As a player who has mostly played 3.5 (I think downfall just about doubled the amount of 5E I have played) feats are my absolute favorite things, so getting to multiples of 4 in class levels to grab some was something I wanted to do (also I didn’t have to worry about ability score increases)! I had already given one feat up by taking barb and druid but I made up for it with the human variant. I also took the Knight of Solamnia background to give me Squire of Solamnia, the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns which would give me the ability to grant attacks to my allies without needing battle maneuvers. 

So I upped paladin from 7-8 for a feat and then decided to take Cleric from 6-9 because it gave me a feat and access to the spell Dawn. I mean the Dawnfather should be able to cast Dawn after all! 

Now to feats

1) Background: Squire of Solamnia to give me the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns

2) Human Variant: Remarkable Recovery. I knew I’d be taking extra damage so having 5 extra hp from any healing I get might just be the difference. It also plays into his background. He had to leave the Barbarian tribe he brought agriculture to because his skin could not retain the ceremonial tattoo ink that would have symbolized his initiation into the community. 

3) Cleric 4 Warcaster to get advantage on those concentration checks, that along with proficiency and starry form of the dragon means I need to take 28 damage (56 if it’s a spell) to even have to roll, and when I do I get advantage and proficiency on the check. Getting me to lose concentration is gonna be a task. 

4) Paladin 4 Knight of the Crown getting to grant an attack proficiency times per day combos wonderfully with Starmaps free guiding bolt, conveniently also proficiency times per day. 

5) Cleric 8 Spelldriver I’m gonna be casting a bunch of spells so the ability to cast multiple each turn is going to make my support spells come out much faster. I have a big fam to take care of!

6) Paladin 8 Tough I really went back and forth between this and Inspiring Leader. Granting all my siblings 25 temp hp is amazing but ultimately I decided that as I’d be tanking a bunch of damage I’d need toughness. Toughness gave me 15 more hp than Inspiring leader would have, and I ended up going down to 14 at one point so it was a decision that very much paid off by a single HP! Don’t wanna pop a deathward if you can help it!

Last but not least we were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards. 

All in all Ayden’s build is an incredibly hard to target tanky support character who can move through the battlefield protecting his allies and being an absolute nightmare for enemy spellcasters. The only thing I really didn’t fully consider was just how much damage he would take from Warding Bond which totally bypasses all those wonderfully crafted defenses. As crazy as it is, I think we barely got to scratch the surface of Aydens full potential and it’s probably good those mages decided to cast spells at everyone else because Ayden was going to be a tough character for a spell caster to crack. The Commanding Rally did get to shine allowing characters who specialized in weapon attacks to get a little extra out of those 20 level commitments. Ayden’s build was crafted to keep his siblings alive and let them shine as bright as possible together. I’m very proud of him!

If you read all this then you’re as nerdy as me and deserve a reward!

[xhatake]

also this will be my last dnd post [ for now! if i pursue the online game itch, I'll probably seek players out through this blog bcs i love most of the community here. i might also look via my dragon age blog but that fandom just be hitting different sometimes its scary ] but i just want to say that any time i roll well & kill an opponent [as a monk] i often opt to put vaeron's hand through people's chests to end their lives <3

[kimetsu-chan]

~can’t sleep headcanons~

A/N: I’ve been sleeping crappy the past three nights and tn I extra doubly can’t sleep, so ofc I’m writing this at 4 am 🤩 (I apologize in advance for any mistakes made—)

Characters: Akutagawa, Fyodor, Dazai, Ranpo

TWs ⚠️ reader cries, bc I cried(Fyodor, Dazai), Nicknames (Myshka)(Fyodor) (Belladonna, Donna)(Dazai), GN!Reader

Man, being tired is rough—

Akutagawa Ryūnosuke

Akutagawa most likely wouldn’t notice right away

whether that be because he is asleep, out of the house, or just busy in general

but he would come home one day to you laying face down on your shared bed, spread out like a star fish

he’d raise an eyebrow at you before checking if you were awake

once he confirmed that you were, he would question why you were up so late

and in your tired state, you would unintentionally retort back with unusual hostility in your tone

“[Name], why is it that you are awake at two in the morning.”

“Why are you just coming home from work at two in the morning.”

His mouth would instantly shut, not used to your annoyance

you would almost immediately apologize with a distraught expression on your face and he would immediately understand

seeing the reason for your stress, he quickly dismissed your earlier words

he would be quick in showering himself before slipping into bed with you and wrapping his arms around you

he didn’t really like physically affection often, he had a tough guy facade to hold up. But he guessed he could make an exception for you

Fyodor Dostoevsky

This man doesn’t sleep much either, so he doesn’t bother scolding you for it

he is likely the only one to actually be helpful about it

he would be working away at his desk in your guys’ room, and he would hear the rustling of sheets behind him

he would turn in his chair to look back at you with a blank expression

Fyodor had heard your struggles to sleep during previous nights, but tonight, you finally seemed to have had enough

he got up when he heard you angrily adjust your pillow, and made his way to the bedside before crouching down beside you

he saw the angry expression you bore on your face and blew on your face to wake you up

your teary eyes opened to glare at him and he realized just how frustrated you were

he reached out to wipe those tears before they could fall as he spoke in a quiet voice

”Now, now, Myshka, what’s with the tears?”

“‘m s’tired… but I can’t sleep no matter how hard I try-!”

Fyodor would hum in understanding, you were just exhausted

he stood back up all the way and figured he had some time to spare

he pulled you up and made his way to the kitchen with you tiredly clinging to his arm

”Let’s have a glass of milk, that should help.”

Dazai Osamu

He’s probably dead asleep beside you, and therefore won’t be of much help

there is also a good chance that he is the reason for your lack of sleep

this man will be sprawled all over you. And I mean all over you

he would have one leg thrown over yours, he would have his arm(s) wrapped around you in some way

he just has to be touching you

he also moves around a lot

which you normally don’t mind, but adding that to already not being able to sleep, geez you were frustrated

dont get me wrong, he is perfectly capable of being still and to himself in his sleep

he just doesn’t want to-

he can’t help wanting to be in constant contact with his precious Belladonna all night

but when you nudge him awake with tears ready to fall from your eyes, he instantly throws his wants out the window

he’d frown and wipe your tears away before asking what was wrong

“Oh ‘Donna— why are you crying?”

“I can’t- sleep, and you’re movin’ around s’much and it’s not helping..”

You didn’t mean to make it sound like it was his fault (even though it kinda was-)

but I’m your exhausted state, you couldn’t control it

instantly filled him as he pressed a kiss to your forehead

“I’m sorry ‘Donna… I’ll be still, I promise”

Ranpo Edogawa

Just like Dazai, he is likely the reason you cannot sleep in the first place

I headcanon that he is also a super restless sleeper in the sense that he moves a whole bunch

and maybe even kicks

so imagine you’re tired, and almost falling off the bed because he is taking all the space

deciding that you had enough, you grabbed your pillow and a spare blanket and trudged over towards the couch before plopping your tired self right down on it

you closed your eyes with a huff when you tucked yourself in, and began to drift off when you felt a weight on you

you opened your eyes to see Ranpo looking down at you

there was concern in his eyes, despite the unserious-ness of his statement

”[Name]? Why’d you leave? The world’s best detective needs his cuddle buddy.”

You quickly explained the reason of his absence and he nodded

you waited for a few seconds for him to leave, but he just stayed on top of you and made himself comfortable

“I guess I’ll just sleep on top of you then!”

His weight was actually kinda nice, and he was making an effort to be as still as possible

you eventually were pulled to sleep with the sound of your lover’s soft breathing in your ears

A/N: these were fun to write 🥰

but they took an hour—

n e ways

it is now almost five in the morning so I might as well just be up for the rest of the day 😃

Reblogs with tags are appreciated!

[codgod]

y’know generally i try to limit colour palettes to as few colours as possible to make things more cohesive but despite my best efforts only jay ended up being able to stick to that </3

ANYWAYS here’s the as-of-right-now fully updated designs for these dickheads. these will no doubt undergo even more tweaking as i draw them more but this is a start i guess. also pls open the pictures to look at them properly i worked so hard LOL

some random notes under the cut yaaaay

chip —

he jingles when he walks. somehow he’s still stealthy. i do not know how

kept the platinum ring that bonded him to gillion in the block! because hey he doesn’t really have a reason to take it off (and it’s a nice reminder of how much gill cares about him, and how far their friendship has come since that ice arena)

his tattoos shift and flicker like actual flames, and sometimes (harmless, purely aesthetic) sparks fly off them when he’s excited

i just think smoke coming out of his mouth when he’s angry would be cool :]

chipped teeth from biting rocks and coins all the time :/

he has scars from the red lightning, they’re just mostly contained to his back and shoulders. they’re a similar red to his coat even once they’ve healed

gillion —

the tail sleeve thing is so he can rest it on the ground without damaging his scales, he doesn’t usually wear it when he’s just on the ship because the wood is soft enough that it’s usually fine + it can hinder swimming a bit. it’s mostly meant for places where there’s cobblestone or gravel streets and such. i think his armour would probably have a version that looks similar but covers the whole tail minus the fins, maybe with some armour plating of its own. i didn’t draw it because there wasn’t any room lol

his scars from the lightning are pink mostly because red stood out too much tbh. they softly glow in the dark the same as his coral and the pink parts of his fins

also kept his ring! his hands aren’t really made for jewellery, though, because the webbing means it won’t sit very secure on his finger. so he keeps it on the same chain as the necklace he got from aslana to keep it safe

tried to make him look a bit bulkier and more his age than in my original design? i feel like i was leaning too much into the naivety and. shortness. originally lol. he also has thicker eyebrows now and i’m still trying to decide how i feel about them but i think? i like it? i don’t tend to give many character thin eyebrows so it could’ve been a unique thing for him but alas

i think i made the sword too small but like ignore that

also forgor to include pretzel </3 that’s okay though she can get her own design sheet later. she’s special like that

jay —

i believe in tall jay supremacy

blue magic! i was considering gold but that’d look a bit more like a canary than i wanted for her wings so. blue jay :]

her hair is supposed to look kinda like fire to mimic her dad ! kinda showing that even if she runs from her family and the navy they’ll always be a part of her. and also i just like drawing messy hair

i gave her sturdier gloves just because i feel like it fits her better. also changed up the shirt to more of a button up solely because i don’t like tank tops very much LOL

i did WANT to make her outfit a bit flashier to match the boys better but i couldn’t quite figure out where to Put the flash. maybe that’ll come later, the way the story’s going i might get to design some cool prosthetics for her or something

overall —

because there’s just so many fucking colours i triiied to add at least one or two colours from each of them into the others designs. jay has her necklace with each of their main colours on it, her wings are the same blue as gillions eyes, her jacket and right eye are the same dark blue as destiny’s blade, her hair is the same orange as the lighter part of chips tattoos. chip has a dark green sash under all the belts, the same as the hilt of destiny’s blade. they all use the same shades of black, gold, and brown

the only real exception is gillion doesn’t have anything from the other two because he has Such a specific colour palette and he already had so much going on as-is orz jay was obviously the easiest to do this with because she has both warm and cool colours in her palette by default lol (and i did her design last, so that helps)

[ruiniel]

What You Choose

Fandom: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Pairing: Rengoku Kyojuro x f!reader

Count: 2K

Rating: T (M later)

On AO3

Summary: I recently watched/read KNY and have emotions. Likely done before, but wanted to get this out of my system so wrote it down. Rengoku survives the fight with Akaza, but some battles are not so straightforward.

Tags & Warnings: Rengoku lives AU, multichapter, blood, injury, pining, angst, second person POV, demon slayer!reader, tsuguko!reader, alternating POV, Oblivious Rengoku Kyojuro, for a while at least, Death, Mild Gore, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut

All characters depicted are 18+

I.

Everything fades. His body is going numb, his vision blurs as he stares down at his reflection in the dark pool of his own blood, unable to lift his head. The cries of grief surrounding him become dim and scatter like dying leaves from his consciousness.  

I've done my duty, I've given my all.

The last he remembers is a small, clawed hand and a sudden, blooming flame bursting through his shattered torso, scalding him from within in ways his own fire never could. 

I see... So this is what it feels like… to burn. 

The balmy weather outside has no effect on you, seated at the side of the infirmary bed, your head in your hands. 

“Perhaps you should go and rest. There’s been no change, and we’ll be sure to inform you of any developments.” 

Aoi’s words are void of their usual sternness. You’ve heard them before, and yet—

“I’m fine, I really am.” You gaze back at the prone figure lying motionless beneath crisp white sheets. His gold and crimson hair is messy, and you’ve never seen him so pale, his features so sunken. The bandage covering his left eye is stained red in places, the usually smiling lips dry and bloodless.

Aoi sighs but says nothing else, and soon her departing steps echo against the walls.

I can’t. I can’t leave his side. You wish your thought could reach him, down to whatever place he’s struggling in now. You ball your hands into fists over your knees, a poor attempt at holding your composure. Please, come back. Please.

Weeks have passed since the mission on the train, since your group has returned with wounded bodies and spirits, though none in such a critical state as your mentor. Rengoku Kyojuro has not awakened since, and in contrast, since the nightmares the demon has placed upon you in that baleful encounter, you’ve not been able to sleep more than two to three hours every night. Every time, waking up in a sweat, the memory of what happened always the last image you remember. 

“How is he today?”

You’re drawn from your thought by the gentle voice of the person you feel like you owe a life of debt to, and turn to gaze into the tired, worried eyes of Tanjiro Kamado. He stands by the bed now, glancing down at the Hashira. The slow rise and fall of his chest is the only sign that he is still alive. 

You shake your head as Tanjiro takes a seat. “How is rehabilitation training going?” 

Tanjiro smiles, still staring at the bed and its unresponsive occupant. “Almost done, I feel my strength returning to what it used to be and more. I admire how well you’ve upheld yourself, though,” he murmurs. 

It’s true, for some reason, you’ve been the least scathed of them all, needing much less medical care than the rest. No, you know the reason why. “It’s because of him,” your words escape you. “If… if he hadn’t trained me as he did, if he hadn’t driven me so far beyond my limits, I don’t know if I would have survived for as long as I have in my role.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve heard. They say Lord Rengoku’s methods are… harsh to say the least.”

A smile tugs at your lips as a known pain pricks your heart. “But… but I’ve been remiss in thanking you, young Kamado—or rather, your sister. If she hadn’t…”  Your throat tightens; you don’t want to break down, not here, not before Tanjiro and not before him, no matter he can’t hear it. 

“Please, please don’t worry, it was a stroke of luck and quick thinking on her part, I only brought the box closer—”

“... she healed him! I saw the flames engulfing him, I saw the wound close. I don’t know how she did it but… Nezuko is someone... very special.”

Tanjiro lowers his head in humble acknowledgement. “I will tell her.” Then, as though remembering something, he reaches into his pocket and hands you a small bag. “Here, I’ve not seen you join meals very often and… well, please take them.”

You don’t have the strength to refuse, and take the bag from his hand, meeting his kind smile. “Candies…”  You thank him before placing them on the bedstand, and after a few more moments of sitting in comfortable silence, Tanjiro takes his leave. You watch him depart, endeared by his manner and honesty. He has a good soul, a strong will—perhaps the strongest you’ve known, apart from…

You stare back at your mentor, memories of the past flooding behind your eyes.

Five months prior

“Good! Again!”

You’re panting, your total concentration breathing nearly failing as you evade another deadly arc of the Third Form: Blazing Universe. 

The sun has westered and a bluish twilight sets over the lands, but your mentor still has you parrying his unwavering techniques, before making you attack using combinations of them in turn. 

“Lord—lord Rengoku—”

His blazing speed cuts your words short as your blades clash, and you stare into bright, golden-rimmed irises. He’s smiling, as usual, with a devilish spark in his eyes. There is a sudden flutter in your stomach, overriding the fatigue in your burning muscles. “Come now, don’t tell me you’re beat! You’ve come so far after only three years!” he says as you fall back, lunging for another attack the following second.

The sudden weakness you feel when you’re close to him has you confused, because it was not there before. It all began in the past year: whenever he stares at you in a certain way, whenever he touches you during training or meets your eyes, something gnaws achingly at your chest. It’s as though you need something from him, but have no idea what it is. 

“I knew it from the moment I took you on as a successor,” he says, merciless in his offensive. “If you—” Parry. Lunge. “—carry on like this—” Attack. Jump. “—you’ll reach a Hashira level of skill in no time at all!” 

You don’t have the chance to reply, though his words feel like honey coating your senses. At first, he’d been sparse and strict, keeping to instructions and nothing else. But you struggled, worked harder than you had for anything in all your life, and it seems he acknowledges this fully now. 

“Now—Ninth Form: Rengoku!” 

That means you must attack, and he must deflect. But—Ninth Form?! “I—I can’t, I’m… I’m too exhausted for the Ninth!”

He bursts forward with Unknowing Fire, forcing you to duck and curl your body, rolling away into the dust, rising on one knee. 

The Flame Hashira turns, pointing his weapon at you. “Is that what you plan on telling the demons?”

“Well, no, but—”

“At no point during a battle will you have the luxury of biding your time. If this were an actual encounter, you’d be dead.” He no longer smiles, his face turned cold, eyes glinting like molten steel.

You feel the rush of shame like fangs biting into you, fueling a horrible need to prove him wrong, to rise up to the challenge in his voice. With a hiss and a groan you grip the handle of your katana tightly, breathing and striving to light that spark in your heart. 

With a cry you speed forward, clashing with him in a desperate lunge. 

“Ha!” The smile returns as you grit your teeth. “Better!”

His face is so close to yours again, so close you feel the rush of his breath on your cheek. 

Your knees feel weak again, and you close your eyes, pushing forward in an attempt to skew his balance. 

What the hell is happening to you? 

“Faster, the fire is still weak! It must rage!” the Hashira says, grinning like a madman now, and where once you enjoyed the path of learning and reaching your full potential, now his attitude brings forth an ache that confuses you and leaves you anxious.

Even so. Your blades sing against each other as you lunge back in a high jump, landing in a lowered stance with one palm braced against the earth. Your uniform is wet on your back, and you’re closer to your breaking point than you've ever been.

But the thought of disappointing him, now that feels unbearable. So you do what you always do: you push yourself more, more, harnessing all your strength into one melting core, bathing your heart in it and firing up your veins. 

You attack.

He laughs outright. “Not bad, but—” Your swords clash, fiercer than before. “I know you can do better, and you can be faster.”

“I’m doing all I can!” you yell, at the end of your tether now. It’s not the first time, nor will it be the last. But he takes no offense, he never does, and that's one of the things you appreciate about him. “But you—you make it impossible! You always want more, even if you know I’m not ready for it!”

It must be the fire rushing through you that has you speaking this way, daring to say such words despite knowing full well what you were in for, when you accepted to become his successor. 

“Wait until you’re ready, and you will never improve!” the Flame Hashira throws back.

A growl leaves your throat as you fall back then speed towards him again, trying the Second then the Third form in succession sloppily but you’re past caring. 

Your arms feel as though they will tear and your bones might splinter as you crash against his unwavering stance, and you meet his scarlet-gold gaze as he speaks softly, his voice imbued with warmth: “You can surpass the impossible. I believe in you.” 

Your eyes widen, that damned ache ringing through your body like a weakening poison and—

For one split second, your stance weakens, and you’re thrown back, losing your balance and falling heavily onto the ground. 

Rengoku stares down at you, tilting his head to the side with a strange look on his face as he sheathes his katana. 

Your vision sways, your lungs might burst. You barely clutch at the helping hand extended to you, aiding you to your feet. He grasps your shoulders. “What happened there just now? Your focus melted like wax.”

“I…” You can’t look him in the eye. His hands on you diffuse heat, permeating through your clothing. It feels good. It scares you. “I don’t… know.”

“Tomorrow, again,” he says, releasing you. “Please do better. Remember we’re doing this for you, but foremost for the people.”

“Understood,” you murmur, biting back tears as you watch him walk away.

Midnight has arrived when you end your reverie, thinking about that emotion that took root in your body and spirit, growing stronger as time passed. And you never dared tell him, never dared facing it nor can you explain why. You take a deep breath, leaned with your arms folded on the edge of the bed, your forehead resting on them. You never told him, and now… 

And now with each day I’m losing hope.

Your shoulders are shaking, and your eyes sting. There is no one else here but you and him, the long chamber of empty beds the only witness to your breakdown. 

You’re so absorbed by despair, you don’t perceive the faint movement, or the hand gently placed on your head.

“... Why are you crying?”

You choke on a silent sob, blinking in shock at the low, throaty voice, broken with disuse. Slowly, you raise your head.

He's staring at you, a bleak smile on his lips, and you're utterly, incomprehensibly frozen.

“You… you’re awake?” It feels like the dumbest of questions: your body knows the truth before your mind catches up. 

“That… depends. Are you really here?” he asks in turn. 

You nod, biting on your lower lip and wiping your eyes with your sleeve. “Yes, yes I am.”

The smile wavers for a moment as he grimaces in pain. “Oh, I see. Then… it seems… you’re not rid of me yet.”

All the gods in all the world couldn’t keep the emotions flooding you at bay, and you shake your head as warm tears flow down your face. 

PART II

[venomous-qwille]

hi qwille!!! I got questions for u! you have lots of characters planned out, and that’s super cool! but how do u usually go about that process? like all your characters are very unique, and I wonder about the design process, as well as how you make their personality distinct! how do you make character dynamics/relationships? because all the scenes I’ve read so far make the characters feel really organic, and mesh really well together! (sorry for all the questions! I’m super curious ^w^)

Hiya! Here is an answer I wrote for this question on discord recently ^^

I will try answer this as thoroughly as possible!

There was a LOT of kill your darlings involved in making characters for gitm. Originally I had a very long list of character ideas that I cut down and down based on the kind of things and themes they would give me the opportunity to write about. I love long ensemble cast stories, thinking back to ones I particularly enjoyed and the ways those characters gelled together helped me a lot. The most important thing when selecting characters was making sure they would give me something interesting to write about! I was also very keen on ones that let me explore the fics main theme of Family from a different angle. I'm not sure how helpful this all is! But yeah, I try to be pretty strict with myself about what I include. The only reason I would include two characters who were very very similar would be to emphasize a difference/divergence between them later on. Characters have to justify themselves by bringing something unique to the table, even if that thing is just a 'very different outlook on life' to the rest of the cast. Over time a lot of those character ideas became more fleshed out in my brain, and characters that were cut from the original shortlist made their way back in. They still have to be able to narratively justify themselves in order to earn a channel in the discord though!

For the gitm guys, while I dont have a literal sheet I fill out I do make sure to answer a couple of basic character work questions: What lie do they believe about themselves/the world? How does it impact the way they interact with others? What central theme do they embody most? What do they want more than anything else? How do they feel about humans? Who are they at their best and who are they at their worst? I found that by answering these sort of questions it helped me discover more about them, which creates more questions- rinse and repeat. The more questions I answered the further away they would get from each other in terms of similarities. The thing that really helped with the gitm boys, especially because their origins are so similar, was leaning in to how different their experiences were post-fazco. They are different people because the world has made them that way. Messing around with foils has been useful too! Characters are no fun in a vacuum, it's how they interact with others that makes them interesting. I like to create ones that will bring out the best and the worst in each other. I think about opposites a lot and I really like narrative symmetry- what lessons can the characters learn from each other? I find that stuff super exciting to read so I really wanted to include it. Some examples of character foils in gitm: Fool & Noon, Sombra & Sunspot, Misuta & Sol

When it comes to finding character voice, I do a lot of test drabbles (a couple of them are on this server), which I use to just fuck around until I find something that feels right. For instance- Sol was very very easy to find the voice of, where as Misuta took weeks of rewrites. Sometimes things take time. Spending this time figuring out their voices at the start really helps fic consistence in the long run, I think. Because of all that prep, I don't really have to do anything to 'get into character' when writing their dialogue (it's fairly second nature now).

In regards to coming up with a character's arc, I look at them and their themes and ask 'what the fuck happened to you, dude?' and then 'how has that entrenched a faulty world view on you?' 'what could you be driven to do because of that world view/misunderstanding?' 'what would it take to fix this world view/misunderstanding?' (the last question is the most important one!). Then voila, you have a very loose framework of a (hopepunk) character arc.

In regards to the actual planning of the fic/character arcs, I have a very big miro board (pic attached) that I use for all this! Most of the major character beats are marked out separately to plot beats etc etc. There are still a bunch of bits that only reside in my brain, but I do try to add them to my plan as soon as they become any kind of concrete. All of the characters also have a background chapter (or rather, a series of chapters that form a short story) attached to their arc, that will recontextualise everything you have learned about them so far! I am so deeply looking forward to dropping these (I already have quite a lot written).

I would say that- for your question on character relationships- the answer does come down to being really specific about what you include. Make sure characters are meaningfully different from eachother, give them goals and experiences that clash and then force them to live/work together in the same space. If you have put time into building your characters before that, then you just need to create opportunities for them to get into conflict and bring out the best/worst in eachother. I really do believe that characters are quite boring in a vacuum- which is why I put so much emphasis on including narrative foils ^^ Tyvm for the ask <3

[idyllic-affections]

absence.

summary. kaveh is dead.

trigger & content warnings. referenced death of a parent/parental figure, crying, grief, etc.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. angst, major character death, comfort. alhaitham & kaveh's adoptive child!reader. 1k words. they/them pronouns used for reader.

author's thoughts. teehee. you guys thought i wouldn't do it huh..... you thought i was kidding when i made that post a while back about kaveh dying.... Fools.

rest, it seems, is not finding kaveh's child tonight.

even when curled up under his sheets that still vaguely smelled of him—ink and a sweet but unidentifiable floral scent—all they could do was toss and turn, trying their best to slip into the world of dreams. the comfort of his bed, unusually cold and vacant when they were not in it, was not enough. they almost wished nahida would appear in kaveh's room and knock them out, putting them out of their endless misery.

(they'd met her before. perhaps she would do it if they asked her kindly enough? though, they doubted she would knock them out in the way that they were envisioning. she'd probably go about it much more gently.)

their eyes ached. the prominent tear streaks on their cheeks explained why.

their chest ached. the frigid stillness settling in his room, aside from their restless shifting, explained why.

everything ached. kaveh's absence explained why.

his room was so lifeless without him. scattered drawings along the walls and incoherent notes scribbled on the margins, crumpled up papers spilling over the trash, an ink pot that had yet to dry out, unfinished sketches lining his desk... oh, archons. his room looked so used, so full of life and light, yet so lifeless and devoid of warmth because they knew its owner would not return to finish those sketches, to close that ink pot, to replace those drawings pinned to the walls.

it was equally as suffocating as it was comforting to lie within it.

regardless of how tired they were, their mind would not slow down, and they could not find enough peace within themselves to fall asleep. at this point, they were sure they would only pass out if they worked their body to its absolute limits to the point that their mind was forced to shut down.

...

but kaveh wouldn't want that. such self-destruction... no. he wouldn't want that for them.

with a tired body and an equally tired soul, they got out of his bed, walking as quietly as they could out of his room and into the halls of alhaitham's house.

so much furniture that kaveh never liked... but alhaitham was no interior designer, was he? that was more like kaveh's job, a job he would never be able to complete.

truly, they had only intended to go to the kitchen. maybe to get a glass of water or maybe just to sit there for a while like they had done so many times in the past with their father when they happened to be awake at the same time as him—him, the light of kshahrewar who often worked late into the night to complete commissions, and them, a kshahrewar student who often worked late into the night to complete difficult assignments.

of course, that's not where they ended up.

they ended up standing quietly in alhaitham's doorway; he was mindful to leave his door open for them in the case of this exact scenario, but they didn't know that, so they hesitated, fingers anxiously clutching the doorframe.

he wouldn't be mad, would he?

after gathering up their courage, they tiptoed over to his bedside. for a moment, all they did was stand there, shifting on their heels, but then...

gingerly, they climbed into his bed beside him.

alhaitham was a notoriously light sleeper. the dip in the bed was enough to rouse him from his sleep, and for a moment in his half-asleep daze, he expected kaveh. it wasn't uncommon for him to do what his child was doing now, after all. kaveh ended up in alhaitham's bed quite often as a consequence of nightmares, but...

as he came to, he remembered all the reasons why it would not be the architect he so loved.

a weight settled in his chest as he turned over, draping a strong arm over [name]'s tired body and drawing them closer. his fingers absentmindedly carded through the tangles in their hair, working gingerly to undo the knots—a consequence of their tossing and turning, if he had to guess.

the visceral sound of their pain tore through the silence.

alhaitham's heart shattered. it didn't show in his expression, however... or if it did, the late-night darkness hid it. they wouldn't have been able to tell regardless; the tears blurred their vision far too much.

his arm seemed to tighten around them as they wept into his chest, incoherent apologies spilling from their lips. he didn't say anything; instead, he shifted slightly, leaning forward to press kisses to the crown of their head.

to think that just a little while ago, he was struggling to comfort kaveh, who'd sob similarly into his chest as the weight of guilt crushed his body... kaveh always cried about his father's death.

he never once imagined that he would need to do the same with the child kaveh raised.

it was ironic, really.

it used to be difficult, alhaitham thinks. he used to find it hard to know how to comfort kaveh. he never knew where to put his hands, and he didn't know what to say—if anything at all.

somehow, he finds himself a little grateful for kaveh (he wouldn't ever admit that to the architect's face... not that he would ever have the chance to now). if not for him, the scribe is certain he wouldn't know what to do now.

he knows where to put his hands—one on their back to keep them held close and to reach up to their hair to toy with it (kaveh once told him that it was comforting), and the other settled vacantly unless he needs to wipe their tears dry.

he knows what to say—nothing at all, in this case, because there is nothing he will be able to say to dull the pain [name] is feeling. perhaps in the morning he'll have words for them, but now... he knows that isn't what they need from him.

eventually, alhaitham realizes that their cries have silenced. they've fallen asleep.

'good,' he thinks. they'll need the rest.

the minutes tick by.

alhaitham does not fall back asleep... but that's fine, he supposes. kaveh is no longer around to watch over [name]. that duty now falls to the scribe.

if it means losing sleep, then so be it.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[nicksolemnlyswears]

May I please request headcanons for Han meeting and falling for a high-ranking female U.S. soldier who’s cynical about love and relationships due to being badly hurt in the past?

pairing: han lue x agent!reader

words: ~3k

warnings: none

notes: thank you for requesting! i hope this is what you were hoping for and you like it! had to include elle on this, she's a great side character!

-Mr. Nobody was the one to reach out to Han. Giselle was their link. While he and Giselle were not in contact for a long time he knew about Han and his talents so meeting with him seemed like the reasonable thing to do.

-After that first meeting Mr. Nobody almost disappeared, he was not the one Han was in contact with anymore...it was you. Mr. Nobody had many things to do so he assigned you to watch over Han. With his deal with Mr. Nobody, Han could live his life in Tokyo freely but he had to be available for any mission you might need him for.

-You have worked for Mr. Nobody for years. He found your background in the military extremely valuable. Not only were you an incredible soldier but you had other valuable skills. Technology, martial arts, multilingual, psychological warfare... the military had trained you well and Mr. Nobody reaped the benefits of their hard work.

-The time came when you called him. He met up with you in a small ramen place you discovered on your last trip to Tokyo.

"What's this about?" He asks, observing you carefully. He didn't fully trust you at first, he barely knew you. You're link to Mr. Nobody was the only indication he had that he could trust you.

"There is a device Mr. Nobody wants you to recover here in Japan," you tell him casually, sliding a file in his direction. Leaving him to read you grabbed the chopsticks on the table to dig into your food.

"Project Aries," he reads, ruffling through the sheets of papers. There were photographs as well both of the people who invented it and the artifact.

Grabbing the napkin from the table you nod and dab the corner of your mouth, "A Japanese couple developed it. If it falls in the wrong hands it can allow them to control anything in the world as long as it runs in code, including-"

"Weapons," Han finishes for you.

"Exactly," you say, taking a drink of the glass in front of you. "The device is kept in their home. It should be a simple in and out mission."

"Why me and not you?" He asks, closing the file and looking up at you. If the mission is as easy as you say shouldn't you have been able to see it through?

Mr. Nobody talked wonders about you but you didn't seem like much. He had never seen you in action, though. He refuses to believe your pretty face was the thing that got you far in this field. Han would be a fool to think like that.

"I have many things on my plate right now and Mr. Nobody trusts you," you shrug, leaning on the table to hold his gaze. Han had an opportunity here to work for an elite force and he was already questioning their authority. She doesn't owe him any explanations.

"Alright." Han clicks his tongue, standing from his seat and leaving the ramen shop.

-Your relationship at first was purely professional. Every so often you'd meet up, exchange mission details and go your own separate ways. Simple.

-As time went on and a year turned into two those meetings extended into drinks and dinner. Living the life of a secret spy can often become lonely. Han felt it most when he faked his death. All those friends he made in Tokyo he was forced to leave behind.

-The only people he had was you and Elle, who he had taken under his wing after her parents were murdered. He's glad he was the one to take the mission, if not he worried another agent wouldn't have been as open to saving the little girl.

-His cleared up schedule consisted of training Elle and becoming a sort of parental figure for the young girl. They only had each other now.

-You found yourself playing the role of a maternal figure in her life because whenever Han had to go on a mission she was under your care. Elle was the key to Project Aries, there is no one better to babysit her than you.

-Slowly with time you and Han became partners in crime, literally. Both started trusting each other so much so that you began including Han in your missions. You trusted him with your life and God knows he needed to go out more.

-In your eyes, you were friends, but in Han's you were something more. He had developed feelings for you, it did not happen over night yet it still caught him by surprise. It was Elle who made him realize.

"When are you going to ask her out?" Elle asks him from her spot on the couch.

You had dinner with them for the third time this week and it's only Wednesday. Elle has been here through it all, their professional phase and their know friendly phase. She's seen the shifts in their relationship and now she can see another one on Han's face.

"Ask who out?" Han questions, glancing at her from the kitchen were he was doing the dishes.

"You know who," Elle rolls her eyes. "The only other person you talk to other than me."

"Why would I ask her out?" Han raises an eyebrow in question. He's been stuffing his feelings down...way down, making him clueless they're even there.

"Because you're whooped for her!"

"You've been watching too many K dramas. I'll have to cut you off from those," Han chuckles, ignoring Elle's words.

"How can you be so blind? You literally count the hours till you see her again," Elle exclaims. She cares for Han, he's protected her for a few years now. Elle wants to see him happier than he is now and if you're that, then be it.

"Shut up, twerp," he dismisses her, shaking his head.

Elle was right though he does count the hours till he sees you again. In fact, you're always on his mind.

-You were blind to Han's feelings because you weren't looking for anything romantic. You've been hurt one too many times in the love department. So you swore to live your life on your own, you don't need a man to distract you and leave you stranded and hurt.

-It's why Mr. Nobody liked you as well, he knew you were unlikely to form romantic attachments. Hence, you wouldn't be held back in dangerous situations. Not that you were reckless, but the enemy would not be able to hold anything against you.

-One night you make a mistake. You had been out celebrating with Han over another success. You both went to dinner and then to a club to drink your night away. Somewhere in between the dancing and the careless smiles you fell tangled in his sheets.

-Han was equally drunk as you, mind turned off. Elle's words hung in his head to make a move and ask you out, but he kissed you instead. You reciprocated and the rest is history.

-Your night was fantastic to say the least. You let go of any reluctance and allowed Han to be close to you temporarily. You trusted him enough for that.

-When Han woke up the next morning he was disappointed. You weren't there as he'd hoped. You must've sneaked out in the early morning.

-That's the thing though you, let him close temporarily and that window closed as soon as you stepped out of his apartment. You're not looking for a relationship you just needed to let off some steam, celebrate, have fun.

-But your fun was his pain. This wasn't another one night stand for him. This meant something and you reciprocating that kiss meant something to him.

-He reached out to talk that same day but you wee off in Europe. Mr. Nobody sent you off on a mission that afternoon. You were out of Tokyo and MIA for three whole weeks.

-When you return and you meet up with him for lunch you act as if nothing happened and it peeves him.

"Hey, Han," you chirp, lifting your sunglasses and letting them hold you hair back. You were sporting a cut on your eyebrow, no doubt a result from your mission. There were bruises littering your entire body.

"How was the mission?" Han asks, trying to calm himself. He doesn't want to jump straight into it, afraid it'll scare you away.

"It was a bitch. In the end we caught them though, guess that's what matters," you laugh, looking through the menu.

"Can we talk?" He then says, calling your attention.

"What about?" You ask, glancing up from the menu.

"About what happened three weeks ago," he responds, his fingers tapping against the table. Times like these he wishes he had a cigarette.

"Oh that! What about it?" You say nonchalantly. You didn't realize that night was something to talk about. It was great but it was meant to be only for a night.

"Just curious if it meant something for you?"

"It was a one night stand Han there isn't much to it. Did you want it to mean more?" Your eyebrows knit together. It never crossed your mind it meant more to Han. You had assumed you were on the same page.

"Yeah, I did. I thought we had something, a connection maybe," he admits, avoiding your eyes. He's spilling his guts to a woman who doesn't reciprocate. How more humiliating can this be?

"We're friends, Han. I thought we both knew it was just a fun night."

"And that's all I'll ever be, right?" He grits, angry. He's not angry at you but at himself for being stupid enough to think you could ever feel the same.

"Yes, that's all we'll ever be."

-Han decided it was best if things went back to being professional. He took a step back and only did what was asked of him. No more dinners, no more drinks, no more casual texts during the day. He needed to protect his heart.

-He pretended not to care when you left for missions. He forced himself not to wonder every hour of the day how you were doing.

-You confront him one day. You had finished handing him his assignment and as he stood to leave you held his wrist stopping him. He looks at you questioningly.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you," he rolls his eyes.

"Really because we haven't gone out in a while," you point out. You instantly noticed how your friendship with Han changed and you wished it hadn't.

Han was your only friend. You worked with many people and you respected and appreciated them but they were colleagues. Not friends.

"It's for the best. I'm just looking out for myself," Han responds honestly. There's no use in lying to you.

"All this because I friendzoned you?" You scoff, crossing your arms.

"You don't understand. You only see me as friend but I see you as more and pretending to be your friend hurts me because it's a reminder I can't have you." His tone rises with each word said. The last past being exclaimed.

-His words stung, but you understood so you accepted it and let him go. You don't have another meaningful conversation until you're staking out watching over a Yakuza member. You had time to think and had something to say.

"You know me rejecting you isn't because of you." You keep your eyes on the building across the street, afraid of looking over at Han.

"I didn't ask," he mutters.

"Listen, please," you sigh. "I've been in relationship before and not one has ended in 'good terms.' I've never been the one to finalize a relationship either. In my experience, people take and take and they never give back. I used to be a serial dater, Han. Each time, I ended up hurt. I didn't know how to be by myself and once I learned I swore off dating. I convinced myself I didn't need anyone else."

Han hangs on to your every word. He understands where you're coming from but cutting yourself off from relationships must be one of the stupidest things he's ever heard.

"You can't let a relationship be determined by how it ended. Relationships are a collection of moments by two people and you should be able to appreciate both the good and the bad. Learn from it. People grow and their feelings grow as well. Some people are meant to be in your life to help you grow and become a better version of yourself." Han tries to offer you some insight on your dilemma.

If he thought about every relationship he's had and how they've ended he would have enough reason to stop dating himself. It would restrict him, though. He likes the feeling of being in love with someone and he doesn't want to sacrifice it just to prevent getting his heart broken.

"All I wanted was to grow with someone, Han. Together. And, yet they all crushed me down, leaving me alone to pick up the pieces of the mess they made," you shake your head.

-Did you have feelings for Han? Yes, you did and you made sure to hide them where they couldn't be heard or seen. His confession made it even harder as you kept thinking if it would be worth a shot.

-You trust Han, but you also trusted all those other boyfriends you dated. You refuse to be hurt again and loose him at the same time. The problem is you're already losing him.

-All you need is a sign. Something to push you and accept Han into your life completely.

-The sign you asked for came in a horrible form. You were on a mission and it had gone upside down. There was shootings, racing in the streets of Hong Kong, and lots of fighting.

-All of it ended up with Han being held at gun point. The barrel pointed at his head as someone held onto him. You were on overdrive desperately trying to find a way out of the situation.

-For once, Mr. Nobody was disappointed in you. You let the bad guys go to save Han's life, something you had never thought of doing in your career. Your rational thinking didn't work, had you been on your right mind you would've found a way to save Han and take down the bad guys at the same time.

-After you had done your briefing and gotten patched up. You met Han outside. He was almost reaching his car, he had to go back to Elle.

"Han wait," you call for him, jogging to catch up to him.

"I though you had gone home," he says.

"No, no, I was only getting a scolding from Mr. Nobody," you try to laugh it off. Were you really going to do this?

"Thank you for that. For saving me." This mission was different you chose to save Han rather than capture the bad guys. You played it off like it was the only way, yet he knows that's not the case.

"I would do it as many times as it's necessary," you admit a soft smile on your face. "Han, can you give me another chance," you ask, your eyes pleading for him to say yes.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm tired of hiding my feelings away and pretending i only see you as a friend," you say shakily, moving closer to him. "Please, tell me you haven't moved on."

"How can I move on from someone like you," Han sighs, closing the distance between the two of you.

-He pours every feeling he's felt for you into the kiss. He has to admit this kiss feels much different than the time you were both drunk. It's better, because it truly means something for the two of you.

-Han promised to never disappoint you and he fulfilled that promise. The both of you grew together and never apart. All this time you just had to take your time and find the right person. You didn't know it was Han at the beginning of your relationship but as the years went by it made itself crystal clear.

-For years you cursed at the word love and swore off relationships. You're glad Han made you see reason because if not you would've missed out on a lot.

-You would've missed out on Han's soft morning kisses, his hand on your back as you walk side by side, his whispers on your ear about how good you look, the looks he throws you across the room that you can only decipher.

-You would've missed out on the most fantastic relationship of your life.

-Mr. Nobody liked when you were alone but there is something about having someone to get back to that enhanced your performance. He'd glad you found someone to fight for.

-Elle was ecstatic when she learned of your relationship.

"It's about time!" She screams when she catches the two of you kissing.

"Elle..." Han warns her.

"What? You guys were always making googly eyes at each other and didn't do anything about it," she huffs moodily.

"We were not," you tell her with a giggle. If Han was crazy over you, you were insane over him. Once you allowed yourself to fall for him, you went all in.

"Yes, you were. Especially you with your fluttering eyelashes and the hair flips," Elle teases.

"Alright, that enough cupid," you mutter, not wanting to give her the satisfaction that she was right.

You were in love with Han Lue all that time, you just needed a little push to get over yourself and your cynicism on love and relationships.

[briarberrythornedhart]

Prompted by: “sitting in his lap would probably fix me”

“Hey!” Eddie snapped his fingers in your direction. “You’ve got initiative, what’s your move?”

It works, his long, strong, fingers are able to snap you out of the near fugue state you’d been in, just staring at the dungeon master and lusting after him with every fiber of your being, pining because he is so close and so far away and sooo unattainable. You clear your throat.

“I try to reason with…”

All the groans from the other players and the slap of Gareth’s hand to his face suddenly overwhelm you with noise and you feel ever so slightly unwelcome again.

They weren’t gatekeeper-misogynists at all and had welcomed you without prejudice - they’d had girl members before so you were nothing new… but your wanting to solve everything through non-violence was getting on even sweet Grant’s last nerve. He’s biting his nails, which you know means he’s losing his cool too.

“Silence!” Eddie commands the other players. He leans your way from his perch in his throne. “They are goblins. You don’t speak goblin, they are going to attack you…” It’s a teeny bit patronizing. He is equal parts threatening and pleading with you. Warning you he can’t save you from yourself. He isn’t going to go easy on you. He isn’t the type and that has only intensified your crush on him.

“You have the perfect spell…” Lucas points to the relevant spell on your character sheet. Max’s boyfriend is hoping to smooth things over, help you make a good decision, for the good of the party.

But you are relentless. “They are not mindless zombies, they have language and art. They live in villages and raise their children. You can’t tell me they are evil because of their... genetics. It’s the god Maglubiyet who is the real villian.”

Eddie smiles but it is 40% grimace. “I agree with you.... and Whilst I respect your commitment to your alignment and your character, you know you can’t personally resolve milennia-old war between the Goblins and....everyone. And you are running out of time, one is raising a horn to his mouth....”

“I bend down and draw in the dirt road - I draw a box...” You sketch your idea on some loose notebook paper from your journal. “With three stick figures in it, and then draw jail bars over the stick figures.”

Eddie watches you - bemused - as you attempt to negotiate a hostage exchange via cartoons drawn in dirt.

He nods, lips set in the smirk that usually means he’s contemplating a rug pull. “The Goblins look at your drawings. Their mouths hang open. One scratches his protruding belly. One nudges the other with his elbow. Dustin, you rolled next highest Initiative. What do you do?”

You know Dustin has your back. And Lucas will probably want to see how your gambit plays out. But Gareth sneaks up behind the goblins and captures them and everything devolves into violence from there.

Jeff ends up with a Goblin speared on his sword, Grant gets an injury you’ll have to heal next game. No one seems pleased. You feel like you’ve been through the Kobayashi Maru test.

Eddie calls a break for pizza and asks you to hang back for a second.

This is when I get kicked out for ruining the game for everyone, You think.

“You are working through something, aren’t you?” Eddie is hugging his knees in his throne. He is threading his pointer finger through the worn holes in his jeans and popping the threads.

“What?”

“Well, you have been staring... like eyes unfocused and hands clenched and - like - it’s totally okay you don’t want to fight. It’s not all about dungeon crawls and fighting baddies... but if you need to talk about... it. Whatever it is - I’m here. You know.... I c-care. Okay? We’re friends - I want you to know I’ll support you.”

“That’s sweet.” It is - it stings like a slap that you are only ever going to be friends, but it’s sweet too. Sweet-Bitter.

Eddie sighs, looks down and then back up at you through his messy curls, “You know, sometimes I think you’d be happier as dungeon master. You wanna try running a one-shot sometime? See if you’d like it?”

You laugh, “As if you’d share your throne.” You tease. He’s got you all wrong. You don’t want to be in control. You just want him to tell you to do different things. Put you in different situations. Hellfire Club has gotten so much more difficult lately because you can’t stop thinking about Eddie and wanting him in every way.

“I totally would.” Eddie looks faux hurt. He scoots himself to the side in the throne, closes his legs together like he NEVER does and brings his hands in to shove between his knees, leaving you maybe 6-8 inches of space. “Look, I can make room.”

“That’s not enough room for my ass.” You shake your head, smiling. Probably blushing, you feel the heat on your cheeks.

You measure your hips and hold up your hands to show him.

You think he probably doesn’t notice that you bite your lip whenever he is this close. You can just catch the scent of his leather jacket and his aftershave or deodorant whatever it is that makes you want to tear his Hellfire club shirt off with your teeth?? Whatever it is, It’s delicious.

“I see your point. You’re just gonna have to sit in my lap.” He shrugs. Smirks. Pats his thigh.

[something-tofightfor]

Black Days 2: Seize The Day (Pull The Trigger)

Pairing: Detective Tim Rockford x Female Reader

Word Count: 4,900

Rating: M (language, mention of prior terrible relationships.)

Summary:  Tim gave you his number - but will you use it? And if you do, are the answers to your questions the ones you hope for? 

Author’s Note: The response to the first chapter of this story was overwhelming. I never thought that anyone would care so much about a mobile game ad character ... but that’s what Pedro does, I guess. 

Thank you all for reading! 

Chapter title comes from “The Day I Tried To Live” by Soundgarden.

Masterlist / Chapter 1

The answer turned out to be almost two days. 

While at home between the end of your main workday and your shift at the diner, you were laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. 

Your shift at the office had drained you. Your only goal was to go home and get a quick few hours of sleep before you had to go back to work. But once you’d changed into a pair of shorts and a worn t-shirt and climbed between the sheets, you doubted that sleep would come. At least not right now. 

 When you turned onto your side to look at your bedside table, you chewed on your lower lip, thinking. The folded paper was right next to your phone, exactly where you’d set it the morning you brought it home. The longer you waited, the more anxious you got - and you didn’t know why. 

He’d approached you. He’d asked you out, and told you that it was your decision. He’d made his interest clear, and reiterated that what happened next was up to you. So why am I waiting? You knew the answer, even though you didn’t want to admit it. But there’s only one way to know for sure. 

Reaching for the phone and the paper, you dialed the number and then rolled onto your back, holding the device over your face. Maybe he won’t answer. Maybe he’ll ignore the call since he doesn’t know my number. 

So you pressed “send” and then lowered the phone to your ear, squeezing your eyes shut and waiting. If he doesn’t answer I’m not going to leave a message. I’ll just… 

“This is Tim.” He picked up on the fourth ring, his tone clipped but not angry, and after a short pause, you cleared your throat. Here goes nothing.

“Tim? Hi. It’s -” 

He cut you off and said your name, his tone softening. At that, you relaxed against the mattress, feeling yourself smile. “I’m glad you called.” 

“Are you?” He agreed, the line going silent. “That’s good to know.” Bending your arm and putting your free hand under your pillow, you tightened your grip on the phone. “I don’t want to keep you for too long because I’m sure you’re at work, but …” Wetting your lips, you nodded. “I want to say yes to dinner, Tim. It sounds like a lot of fun, but …” 

“But what?” You heard noises on his end of the line - the sound of people talking in the background, the squeak of what sounded like an office chair - and for a few seconds, you wondered what his workplace was like. But that’s why I have to ask. 

“But I need to know a little more about you first. You said you live in Willow Creek, and I know your full name, but … what do you do Tim? What kind of job regularly keeps you out until the middle of the night with a folder that size?” 

“I was hoping to be able to talk about this at dinner, but…” He cleared his throat. “Let me go outside.” You waited for almost a minute, the sound of the man’s breathing through the speaker loud in your ear. Outside? Why does he need to go outside? “You still there?”

“Yes.” Your heartbeat quickened, eyes fixed on the ceiling directly above your bed. “I’m here.” 

“Alright, so…” He sighed, the sound loud in your ear. “I figured it’d come up in conversation in person. It’s usually easier that way, but …shit. I’m a detective.” A cop. He’s a cop. 

“Oh.” You frowned, closing your eyes. “I guess it makes sense, with the files and the notebooks and the weird hours.” Just ask. Just get it over with. “Did you choose my restaurant for a specific reason? A case?” For me? 

“No, I chose it because of the pie, I told you that.” He laughed, the sound short. “But seriously, it’s close enough to my place that I can go there if I can’t sleep, or when I get out of the office before I go home. It’s quiet. The coffee’s good, though it’s been better than usual the last couple times I’ve been in.” 

“Tim, I -” 

“I work for the Sacramento Police Department.” He said your name, pausing. “I have for the last seven years, which is about how long I’ve been a detective. Before that, I worked in San Francisco. Was there for about 10 years, and then decided to move back home because my mom was still here.” 

You let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, loosening your grip on the device in your hand. “You’re a detective? Not a PI?” 

“No, not even close.” There was another pause, and when Tim spoke again, you heard interest in his voice. “I don’t work for myself and no one seeks me out independently, though a couple people have tried.” 

Ok. This is … this is good. This is … “Tim?” He hummed, waiting. “If you’re still interested, I can explain why I was so curious over dinner next Tuesday.” You trusted what he was telling you, because it would be easy enough to look his name up and find out whether or not he was being honest. And he knows that, too. 

“I’m interested.” He said your name and then cleared his throat. “Very interested. And I know it’s cliché, but there’s a really good Italian -”

“Yes.” You agreed almost automatically, a warmth spreading through your body along with excitement - something you hadn’t experienced in months. “Italian sounds great, Tim.” 

— 

You didn’t see him that night at work, but on Saturday, you were busy wiping down tables when you heard someone say your name. Turning your head toward the sound, you grinned at the sight of him - coat draped over one arm and his fingers curled around the handle of his briefcase. “Hey, Tim.” Pointing with one hand, you continued. “Your table’s open. I can bring you a cup of coffee to start, but you’ll have Nicki afterward.”

“Why’s that?” He rested one hand on his hip, tilting his head to one side. “You trying to get rid of me?”

“No, actually…” You finished what you were doing, folding the damp towel you held. “I got cut early. There’s no one in here, so I’m going home. Nicki and Jesse are going to handle things.” 

“Oh.” He frowned briefly and then nodded, taking a step closer, though there was still plenty of space between you. “That means you get to go to bed a couple hours early tonight, right?” That would be great, wouldn’t it?

“Mmmhmm.” Smiling brightly, you hoped that he hadn’t seen the brief flash of uncertainty on your face. “It’ll be nice to -”

“Or,” he interrupted, drawing his lower lip back and between his teeth, his eyes on you. “Or we could both leave, and we could go grab a coffee from somewhere else right now.” 

It was late at night, and you barely knew the man, but you wanted to say yes. “What about Tuesday? I thought -”

“Oh, I’m still taking you to dinner.” His smile grew, the man’s eyes wide and bright behind his glasses. “But what I’ve got to work on can wait until tomorrow. I just figured … I’m not even sure what I figured, but …” 

“I live about fifteen minutes away from here. North of here, so that would be the direction that we’d have to go in, because -”

“Ever been to the 49er?” He raised a brow, waiting. “That was my go-to before coming here, but since it’s a truck stop, it’s nowhere near as quiet.” 

“I have been. Their bar is pretty convenient.” He laughed at that, agreeing. “And it puts us both pretty close to home, so… want me to meet you there?” 

“Yes.” Tim’s smile grew, his eyes darting away from you and toward the kitchen. “I’ll head out now, how long do you think you’ll be?”

“About ten minutes? I have to count out my -”

“Go. Before a group of fifteen walks in and they decide not to let you leave.” Someone’s excited. 

Biting back a laugh, you told him you’d see him in a little while. 

When the man turned and headed back toward the lobby, you made your way to the kitchen, dropping the rag into one of the dirty towel baskets. “What was that about?” Nicki was standing next to Jesse, the girl’s eyes narrowed. “That’s the guy from last week. You two were -”

“Yeah, it’s all good. He was working on a case but it had nothing to do with me. We talked about it.” Waving her off, you smiled. “It’s all fine, I promise. He’s actually really nice.” 

“If you say so.” She glanced past you, eyes on the dining room. “Are you heading out?” 

“I am.” You closed out your shift on the screen, counting down your tips and then doling out a few dollars for Jesse, the rest going back into your pocket. “If you’re sure you can handle the rest of the night.” 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Morning shift gets here in a couple hours, no big deal.” She eyed you warily, but didn’t say anything else. What is there to say? When you looked at Jesse, though, you saw the man was positively giddy, his eyes gleaming under the fluorescent lighting. Don’t even say a word. 

“Have a good night.” He winked. “See you Monday?” Yeah. You will. 

A few minutes later, you were crossing the parking lot to your car, keys in hand. The drive from work to the diner was an easy one, and at a little after 1 am, you knew that there’d be no traffic.  

You weren’t nervous as you headed north on I-5, but as you passed the Garden Highway exit, you realized how excited you were for the opportunity to talk to the man in a different setting. And he’s excited too, so that means… 

There were a lot of things that it could have meant, but the most important was that for once, you were on the same page with someone when it came to the way you were feeling. And that’s a nice change. 

Smiling as you parked the car, you gave yourself a few minutes to fix your appearance. You straightened the hooded sweatshirt that you’d thrown on over your uniform, applied lip gloss, and swept your fingers carefully beneath your eyes to wipe away any traces of smudged eyeliner and mascara. There. That done, you stepped out of the car, grabbing your bag and keys. Here goes nothing. 

Tim was waiting for you just inside the doors, the man’s coat and briefcase nowhere to be seen. He was still wearing his glasses, though - and both of his sleeves were rolled up, exposing his forearms. Oh, he … wow. No one should look this good in a truck stop in the middle of the night. “You made it.” 

He sounded genuinely happy, and as you nodded, the man leading you into the dining room with one hand at your elbow, you relaxed further. “I did. There was no one on the highway, so it was quick.” 

You slid into the booth across from him, but before he could reply, the waitress appeared, asking for your order. Tim spoke first, his head turned toward the woman standing by the table. “Just coffee, please, and whatever she’s having.”

“Coffee here, too. And can I get a side of the fruit?” The waitress nodded and then made a note on her pad. She then turned away, leaving the two of you alone. “I usually snack on something about now at work, so I hope that -”

“You don’t have to explain. It’s fine.” Tim leaned back in the booth, both hands resting flat against the surface of the table. “So.” He tilted his head to the right, eyes on you. “I’m glad you said yes.” 

“I’m glad you asked.” He winked, opening his mouth to answer, but your coffee arrived, along with glasses of water. “Thank you. It -”

“Your fruit’s coming. It’ll be a few minutes.” The server set a small bowl with sweetener and a container of cream down on the table, the woman not even looking at either of you. “Enjoy.” Yikes. She doesn’t give a shit about her tips. As she walked away, you looked at the man again, finding an amused expression on his face. “Is that another reason you decided not to come here anymore?” 

“Yeah, the service is … not as friendly here.” He picked up his cup and took a sip, nose wrinkling. “And the coffee’s not as good, either.” 

That broke the ice, the two of you starting a conversation that was little more than pleasantries. But as soon as the bowl of fruit and silverware were delivered, that changed - and Tim didn’t seem afraid to take the lead. 

“You seemed surprised when I told you what I did for a living.” He reached over, grabbing a grape and popping it into his mouth. “Why?” 

“No. Not… surprised. That isn’t the right word. I guess it just … threw me off a little.” You sipped your drink and then frowned. “Do you just take general cases, or do you work in a special department? I don’t know what I can ask, so if you can’t answer, just tell me.”

“This isn’t the CIA.” Tim laughed, running the fingers of one hand through his already messy hair. “I can’t talk about individual cases, but there’s nothing keeping me from telling you what I do.” He took a deep breath, never looking away from you. “I prefer to be called a criminal investigator that focuses on homicides. But the truth is that I take on a lot of other types of cases, most of the time.” Homicide? So he catches killers? 

“Interesting.” You ate a piece of fruit, chewing thoughtfully. “That’s an important job, Tim.” 

“For the people involved, it is.” He shrugged. “I just like helping when I can, and I’ve always been good at piecing shit together, so … why not? Why not get paid for something that I enjoy doing?”

“That’s how I feel about what I do, too. At my main job, I mean.” Taking a long drink of water, you met Tim’s eyes, noticing for the first time that he was leaning in toward you. The man’s attention was unwavering. It sent a shiver down your spine, though the reaction was a positive one, his focus something you enjoyed being the recipient of. “It’s definitely not as exciting as your job probably can be, but … I’m a project analyst, so I have to work with a lot of facts and figures. I put puzzle pieces together every day, but in most cases, no one’s trying to hide anything.” 

“That sounds like a hell of a lot of work.” Telling him it wasn’t as bad as it sounded, you shrugged. I’m used to it. “So if you’re doing that, why are you also working overnight in that diner? Your day job sounds like it’s more than enough to keep you busy.” 

You hadn’t thought that the topic would come up so quickly. But since it had, you were determined to keep from shying away from it the way you wanted to. Because I don’t want to lie to him. 

“I just started a few months ago. Last year, I was working regular hours at my main job, but … things changed around the holidays.” Fingers closing around the end of your straw as you twirled it through your water glass, you looked down at the movement of your left hand. “My relationship ended, and even though I kicked him out, my place just seemed too empty when he was gone. Too quiet at night, and I couldn’t sleep, so … I decided to get out of the house as often as I could instead of trying to fill it with noise.”

“You picked up a second job because you couldn’t sleep over a breakup? Must have been some breakup.” You have no idea. His voice dropped lower, and when you looked up at him again, Tim’s brow was furrowed. “You said you work what, four nights a week some weeks?” Nodding in agreement, you waited. You’re not going to tell me anything I don’t already know. “So when do you sleep?” 

“I catch a couple hours between jobs … and during the day on my days off, mostly.” Rubbing at your forehead, you shrugged. “It’s not so bad, though. I like being awake at night, there’s fewer people. If I have to work overnight, by the time I get home I have enough time to take a quick power nap before it’s time to go in to my main job. It gets me through the day.” Lifting your coffee, you held it out to him. “So does this.” 

“I have trouble sleeping, too.” He scoffed, head shaking back and forth. “Sometimes it’s details of the cases, other times it’s just that shit’s too loud, you know? Can’t shut my brain off.” 

“Cheers.” You raised the coffee mug, holding it out toward him. “Look at us, coping with our bullshit in an extremely unhealthy way by staying out all night and consuming our weight in caffeine every day.” He snorted but clinked his mug against yours, joining you as you took a sip. 

“The difference with me is that I can catch an hour or two at the station when I need it. We all do it, especially when we work 12 hour shifts.” Must be nice. “And on the nights I do have free? The ones I don’t end up in a diner somewhere with my case files?” He shrugged. “There are a couple other ways that I relax and get my mind off of work.” That … doesn’t surprise me.

“Ah.” You picked up the last piece of fruit, taking a bite out of it. “So is that what this is? Are you hoping to use me to -”

“No.” His head whipped back and forth, Tim setting the cup down. “Not at all. You’ve been a nice change in my routine, but…” His fingers wrapped around the mug, eyes locked on you. “But I’m not thinking past dinner. And now that I know how little you sleep, I’m starting to think that maybe I should have suggested taking you somewhere quiet to nap instead of out to another place that reminds you of work tonight.” 

“I have all day off tomorrow. I’ll get some sleep then.” You sipped your water, the ice cubes clinking against the inside of the cup. “And as soon as I can end my lease, I’ll move out of my place, and start trying to sleep normal hours again. A change of scenery is probably what I need, but until then…” This is what I can do. 

“I hope that’s soon.” His words were genuine, and when Tim nodded - the almost imperceptible movement of his head accompanied by a small smile, you gave him one in return. It will be. “But I’m serious, if you’d rather use Tuesday night to relax, I understand.” 

“Are you trying to get rid of me, detective Rockford?” Biting the inside of your cheek at the way his eyes flashed at your address, you held back a laugh. I’ll remember that. “Rescinding your offer for dinner now that you know a little more about me?” 

“No. Now I just want to make sure you get some sleep and aren’t dead on your feet for more than half of your work week because you can’t sleep at night in your own damn house.”

“That’s direct.” He nodded, his smile widening. “But no. You asked me to have dinner with you, and if I’m being totally honest with you? I haven’t been out on a date in six months, Tim. And I’m definitely not going to back out the first time someone’s asked me.” 

“What?” He leaned closer, pushing the coffee mug out of the way and lacing his fingers together. “Six months? You haven’t -”

“I said it was a bad breakup, didn’t I?” Reaching up to grip he back of your neck, you lowered your head briefly. “Probably shouldn’t have let it get to me the way it did, but there’s nothing I can do about that now.” 

Tim was silent for a few seconds, the man studying you intently. What are you thinking? “If I’m overstepping, please feel free to tell me to fuck off, but …” He took a deep breath. “You asking what I did, and then assuming that I was a PI when I said I was a detective was for a reason, right? Did … do you think that your ex would have sent someone to keep tabs on you? Is there something that I should know about him or about you?” 

“You’re good.” You drained your coffee, staring down into the cup. “It crossed my mind for a few seconds, yes. And I wouldn’t put it past that asshole to have someone watching me, but I don’t even know what he’d be looking for. And honestly? I don’t think he cared enough to spend money on hiring someone to follow me around. He never made it seem like he did anyway.” 

“Christ, are you -” He pulled his glasses off and set them down on the table, his free hand rising to rub at his forehead. “If you lived together, then it must have been pretty serious. Why would you think he didn’t care?” 

“He was never physically abusive or anything like that, Tim. And I guess he wasn’t emotionally abusive, either - at least not in the way you’d think.” Taking a long drink of water, you looked away from him and out at the dining room - a few of the tables filled. I didn’t plan on talking about this, but …”He just didn’t… try, you know? Wouldn’t make any decisions, wouldn’t talk about what he wanted, didn’t really have any plans for the future, and when I got sick of it, that’s when he tried to make me believe he wanted more.” You shrugged. “It was only after I said I was done that we really started arguing over things, and he told me he didn’t want to think about me with anyone else. And then before he left for good, he told me that I’d regret ending things with him. He said he’d be around when I finally realized that I made a mistake telling him to leave, so -”

“So you thought that he might have someone else keeping tabs on you so that you didn’t notice him doing it.” You nodded, giving him a sad smile. “Well, I can promise you that isn’t what I’m doing. Light stalking isn’t in my job description, and anyone that would have someone do that to someone else is … not someone that I’d want to associate with.” 

“I know. It’s dumb. But I just … I don’t know.” You rubbed at your eyes, both of them closed. Congratulations on ruining this before it even goes anywhere. 

“Is that why you can’t sleep? Because you’re worried that he’s going to send someone to watch you? Or just because there are memories in the apartment, and part of you wonders if you did the right thing?”

“Both. Mostly the second thing.” Picking up your napkin, you began folding it, though you weren’t watching what you were doing. Instead, you were fixated on a point in the distance, just over Tim’s left shoulder. “Like I said, I think it was an empty threat, so it’s just that … I kind of miss having someone else around. He wasn’t always good company, but he was company, and it’s easier for me to sleep when I can hear someone else. I got used to having a roommate, and now without one, I just … think too much..”

“I have a white noise machine.” He grinned, sipping from his mug. “It only works half the time.”

“Tried that. Tried music. Tried leaving a TV on. Tried playing something called “people noises” from YouTube. No luck.”

“You need someone else there to sleep, I need something quiet to focus on… it’s too bad we can’t nap together, seems like we’d balance each other out.” He wasn’t wrong - though he hadn’t outright said it, it seemed like on the nights Tim wasn’t thinking about work, he found the company of someone to help him sleep, focusing on another person enough to quiet his mind and let him get rest. 

And even though the videos had helped slightly, there was nothing that could compare to the feeling of the mattress dipping as someone shifted next to you, or the sound of them breathing in the darkness - each warm exhale washing over whatever part of you was closest. 

“If only.” Wrinkling your nose, you gestured to your purse. “Aren’t there apps that let you find someone to cuddle with? Maybe there’s one for a nap partner. Like dating apps but only for -” 

“That sounds horrifying.” His eyes widened. “Just inviting some stranger over to your place to hop into bed? Someone that you met through an app?”

“So you don’t use dating apps then?” You reached for the water glass, tilting it toward yourself and frowning at the fact that there was barely anything left. “Isn’t that how people hook up without having to do all the work of meeting someone by chance?” 

“I never said that.” Tim held up a finger. “But there’s a difference between hooking up with someone and sleeping with them.” He wasn’t wrong, and as you returned your eyes to meet his, you opened your mouth to agree. The man shocked you, though, by continuing, his gaze never wavering away from yours. “I’m more than willing to offer myself up instead of you looking for someone random. We don’t know each other well, but uh, I’ve been told that I’m one hell of a cuddler, so -” 

Do I even want to think about that? Because … it wouldn’t surprise me. Look at him. 

“Oh?” Your smile widened, both hands flat on the table. “Didn’t you just say it was weird to have a stranger over? That there was a difference between -”

“I did, and there is.” Tim finished his coffee, leaning back against the booth. “But that changes nothing.” Tim angled his head and then shook it. “Maybe if dinner goes well on Tuesday, you’ll be curious enough to find out sometime.” 

“Why not tonight?” It slipped out before you could stop it, and as you realized what you’d said, you gasped, shaking your head back and forth. Oh no. I shouldn’t have said that. “I’m kidding. Tim I -”

“I don’t have to go in tomorrow.” He paused. “As of right now at least. That might change, but I planned on working from my home office, so… if you didn’t want to be kidding…” Is he serious? “If you think it would help you sleep, I’m all for it.” He is serious. 

“But you don’t know me. We’ve only talked a few times, and -”

“I know enough. And it’s not like I’m suggesting that anything happen, right? Just … hopefully a good night’s sleep for both of us.” He looked down, checking his watch. “It’s still before you’d be off of work, and I only live a few minutes away, so -”

“I don’t have anything to sleep in.” You glanced down, swallowing hard. Am I really considering this? Looking up again, you made your decision when you saw the slight part of his lips, Tim’s eyes wide in surprise. “I live in Harbor Oaks.” Setting the napkin down, you straightened your shoulders. “So I’m legitimately around the corner from my place right now. I can … I can go home and change, and -” 

“I’ll text you my address.” He leaned forward, reaching out for you with one hand and settling it over yours. “And if you decide not to come, I’ll understand. Just … lt me know, alright? That way I’m not waiting for you for hours.” 

“Ok.” His touch was light, though his hand covered all of yours - the weight comforting. “And if you decide you don’t want me to -”

“If you stay over,” he started, leaning in further and saying your name. “I’ll make you breakfast when we wake up.” He cooks? How the fuck is he single? “And I don’t mean just cereal or eggs. I mean breakfast. Whatever you want.” 

Ok. Ok, so he wants this too. He … he was really inviting me over. “Then I guess I better get out of here, hmm?” 

“Go. I’ll flag down the woman to pay.” He squeezed your hand and then let it go, pulling his back to his side of the table .”Don’t overthink it. It’s just sleep.” I believe him. I don’t know why, but I believe him. 

You thanked him for the coffee before standing and grabbing for your bag, glancing over at him. “I’ll see you in a little while?” What the hell am I doing?

He pulled his wallet out, setting it down onto the tabletop before looking up at you. “I hope so.” 

—

Tag list reblog coming soon! 

[kay-then-i-guess]

The Updated Quackity design! Original is the image below.

Quackity is, by far, one of the most fun characters to draw (except at a full-body, front-facing angle, as I found drawing this). He's always been one of the most expressive and high-movement characters. Even back in the beginning, he was just so much fun to draw. He was always bouncing one way or another with big arms and expressions. That said, once shit hits the fan, you guys better get ready for a shift.

Spoilers (kind of) aside, Quackity in the role of Tubbo was one of those things that made me kick my feet and giggle (maniacally). It's so good. I'll get more into this once it actually comes up in the comic, but in the Canon dsmp, I wholeheartedly believe that if Quackity was let into L'Manberg in the first place, he would have easily become a Tubbo figure. Perhaps a more competent leader than Tubbo, too. The only reason C!Quackity became power-hungry is because Wilbur refused to give him any. And, one could argue, he was envious of how much power Wilbur had despite his blatant failings as a leader. So, in Roleshuffle, I essentially play out a version of Quackity where he wasn't forced into this serious, anti-hero, power-hungry character. Instead, he stays relatively lighthearted for much longer (not forever, of course).

I think Quackity was what made me realize how much I enjoyed a more cartoon-y style as opposed to an anime style. I don't think I ever really had an anime style for an extended period of time, and certainly not when I started drawing the original character sheets, but you can still definitely see the anime influences. And as much as love that, I think the more cartoon style has really helped me develop my skills. As contradictory as this sounds, I'd argue it helped me with my more realistic drawings, as I'd be able to sketch out a silly expression/pose in a cartoon style for practice, and then translate it into a (mildly) more realistic style.

Oh, also, he's based off of a Cayuga duck.

[boxfullaturtles]

I want to know all the things about your KH AU. Please just tell me things, because I love it.

oh Kingdom Hearts AU, how i have neglected you…. UnU what can I say about KH AU hhhmm (aside from having Raph's ref sheet half done and then getting distracted by a million other things lol) let's see........

Donnie loses his heart at some point. Not because of a Heartless or other enemy, but because he pushes himself too hard and too far.

He does create a Heartless. I don't know what kind of Nobody he leaves behind

The rest of the family do end up finding--and fighting--Donnie's Heartless. How do they know it's Donnie's? Well, aside from Mikey being able to sense Donnie's Heart, buried and smothered in Darkness, there's a certain...Donatello flavor to the way the Heartless looks.

I have not finished designing the Donnie Heartless.

How do they get Donnie back? I dunno. Maybe it involves the piece of his Heart he left with Shelldon.

What's in the half of Donnie's lab that no one ever gets to see? That's a secret. For now.

Casey's Future Leo only had one Keyblade and it wasn't Arc Hope, so Future Leo didn't have portals. In fact, Future Leo's Keyblade didn't seem like it fit him at all. A heavy hitter with a reverse grip didn't really fit his fighting style. But he made it work.

Future Mikey was so powerful that his Keyblade kind of just...floated around him, like an extension of himself. He wielded it kind of like how Sora's Final Form uses Keyblades in KH2.

Casey Junior gets a shock when he sees the present day Keyblades. And an even bigger one when Leo portals. And then the biggest one when Leo gains Synch Blade and dual Keyblades.

I love the design of Before the Fall so damn much. But I don't think it fits Leo very well overall. I think after the Krang, the whole thing is weighing heavily on his Heart and he can't let it go. So while he has a lot more faith in his family (After the Rise), he's struggling with keeping that faith in himself. It's letting doubt and Darkness creep into his Heart and it's going to take some work and character development for him to overcome this. Before the Fall is a little too heavy with Darkness for him.

When Leo DOES find himself in a better place, Before the Fall will change. To what? I haven't decided yet. I just don't think Leo should be forced to carry a burden like that Keyblade. He deserves something better.

April's Keyblade is the only one I haven't figured out a name for yet.

In the silly TMNT AU Competition comic I did, Donnie mentions a "Worlds We Are Banned From" list. This is a real list. They have been forbidden from returning to some worlds for...reasons. The reasons may or may not be because of shit they've done.

Raph and Leo sort of co-lead the group, but Raph still acts as the big brother most of the time, trying to wrangle his siblings into behaving. Except when he's acting out too, and then it's April's job.

April getting a Keyblade was an accident. Donnie accidentally did it when they were little.

What's Draxum doing in this AU? Why did he make the turtles? What are the Foot Clan doing? How does The Shredder work? Fuck if I know. What, you think I planned this or something?

Yes, there is magic that alters their appearance depending on what kind of world they land on. Most of the time, it's like a surface level glamour that only affects the eyes of the inhabitants (this is my headcanon as to why no questions why a duck and a dog are following Sora around 90% of the time, they look human on worlds with humans). There have been a few worlds where they've had to deal with physical transformations. Suffice it to say that those have been an absolute riot for everyone.

And...that's all I got. For now anyway. There is still some stuff I'm working on, but it's sort of taken a back seat to everything else...

[hunterssm00n]

Five Minutes

Quick drabble about what Tommy and his girlfriend do behind closed doors in the Hewitt household. | Tommy Hewitt/OC |

Full (ish) story is on my AO3: here

and some other shorts/drabbles on the same story/characters: here

*cw smutty situations* MDNI - 18+

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

hunterssm00n © All rights reserved by me. I do not allow this work to be used or adapted in any way without my permission.

I hope you like red lips, driveway kissing / 'Cause if you want it baby, that's what you'll be getting / Every night, all of the time / I hope that's alright...

She laid awake in the dark room, waiting for the hall light to turn off.

'Nae was in the guest room of the Hewitt household, and she knew that five minutes after the light went out, she would sneak off down the hall into Tommy’s room. Once that light went out, it meant that everyone else was settled in, and the two could play. The reason they gave it five minutes was to be sure that everyone else was either asleep, or close to it. She wasn’t sure if Tommy was aware that the other people in the house probably suspected what they did after hours, but she just had one of those feelings that they weren’t the only people that knew. She didn’t really mind everyone else knowing. However, it just made her feel better that everyone else was asleep and couldn’t hear what was going on. Hopefully.

The past couple of nights that she’d been here (she’d moved her stuff in for the past few days, since she’d been sleeping over/house sitting for a week starting the next day), this has been their process. They’d decided on Tommy’s room as the ‘place’ because it was farther down the hall from anybody else’s room, and therefore, anyone else would be much less likely to hear whatever went on.

The light winked out under the door to her room, and a door gently shut somewhere in the hall. Go-time. She checked the clock on her phone: 10:14pm. Five minutes. She settled back onto the bed, trying to calm her pounding heart, and trying to be patient for the next five minutes. They hadn't had sex. Not yet, anyways. They'd come close, but then one of the jailbirds had gotten loose, and Tommy had to go chase him down. Other than that instance, everything had pretty much been groping, kissing, touching, biting, etc. And not all of it had been clothes on either, but hey, who was going to split hairs?

She looked at her phone again. 10:17. Damn. Come on. Let's go.

Last night had been a little bit different than the other times, but in a really, really nice way. To put it simply, neither one of them had any experience in romantic intimacy. Thankfully, it was mainly about instinct - 'Nae remembered reading somewhere that sex started in the brain before it did anywhere else. So while she hadn't physically done it, she had imagined doing it. With Tommy. Plus, she had figured out what she liked by experimenting with herself, and while they hadn't actually done the sex act in itself, they had also experimented with each other. And the thought of it made her tremble. 

They had been kissing, mussing the sheets on Tommy's bed, and when he'd rolled her onto her back to lightly bite her neck she'd, well... she'd reached down to grab his you-know-what, and that had pretty much started everything. He'd already been very aroused as she'd been able to feel against her leg, and when she'd grabbed him down there his whole body had jerked in surprise. His head had shot back to he could see her face, his dark blue eyes wide with a mixture of shock, arousal and curiosity. She was just as curious as he was; she had never done this before either. Tommy must have sensed her insecurity and helpfully rocked his hips forward to push more of himself into her hands. She didn't think there had been anymore of 'him' - God damn, how the hell were they ever gonna - 

Insistently, Tommy rocked his hips again, this time with a muffled groan into her neck that sent a shudder down her spine. He drew his head back to look at her again, his eyes lidded with desire, mouth slightly parted. 

She shifted underneath him with pink on her cheeks, "Okay, you let me know what feels good, I've never done this before..." 

He failed to look worried by her admission. If anything, he was buzzing with anticipation. 

She was a little unnerved by him staring at her so intently; it always made her feel very self aware when he did that. Tommy cocked his head to one side at her pause, then leaned down to gently nuzzle her cheek with his own. A rush of warmth went through her, emboldening her again, and her hands instinctively squeezed him. He groaned huskily into her ear, his hips rocking so forcefully against hers that it nearly took the breath out of her. She gave a squeak of surprise, which dissolved into quiet laughter from the both of them. 

Basically, the two of them had ended up naked, touching each other and trying to keep their voices down, so as not to wake anyone else. Something about when Tommy had looked at her with that glazed over pure desire in his eyes... that had really done her in. 

It came as a bit of a surprise to her, but he made sure she finished first. She thought Tommy might have been a little timid with his touches, but when she saw that look in his eyes of pure want, completely reserved for her, she realized he'd probably imagined all the things he would do to her too. Those massive hands of his seemed to find their path. 

She had actually been about to finish him off- with two hands, of course, he was too big to use just one. He'd been jerking and squeezing the sheets on either side of her head and looked like he was absolutely about to blow... And then he suddenly grabbed her wrists in those monstrous hands of his, forcing her to stop. She looked into his eyes questioningly, and he raised her arms above her head, pressing her wrists down into the pillow. Tommy leaned down to smooch her on the lips, as though he was reassuring her that yes, she had been doing everything right, but now it was her turn. 

And then he'd touched her all over. 

Keeping quiet/muffling noises had been hard, and she wasn't completely sure she'd been able to catch every single noise that had escaped from her throat, but oh well. Tommy probably sported about fifty new scratch marks on his back from her clawing at him, and a few teeth marks in his shoulder sinews. He had been asking for both of those, really. He'd found her sensitive spots and he'd teased her until she was begging him Tommy, please, I don't wanna scream and wake everyone up! 

Then it had been her turn to finish him off, and that had been quite the experience. She found out what made him shudder, what made him curl his fists in the sheets, what made him groan, and what made him make that moan that caused the hair on the back of her neck to rise. When he'd been on the brink, she'd wondered how soaked she was about to become. He was a huge man with a huge dong, and he could probably pump out gallons. And before she had another chance to think about it, he'd blown all over her belly and her chest, shuddering like a giant truck coming to a stop. 

Maybe tonight would be the night they took it all the way. God, she wanted to so bad - and she knew he did, too. 

Impatiently, she glanced at her phone once more, willing it to be time already. She was so aroused she could barely think straight. 10:19. Finally! 

Easing up off the bed, 'Nae practically ran (quietly) to the door to her room, eager to get down the hall and get down on Tommy Hewitt once again. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

AN: I do not own the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise or any of it's characters, but Renae is my own OC. I also do not own the song 'Next Boyfriend by Lauren Alaina.

Story time: Just a quick little drabble I wrote back in 2016. A while back I had a story up on here about Tommy and my oc Renae, called 'In My Blood' - I took it down to revise it, thinking about putting it back up maybe? - and this was written just as a cute scene/drabble. 'Nae and Tommy Hewitt are in an established relationship at this point in this piece, but haven't quite done the deed yet. So, here's that - hope you enjoy!

[ninjagirlstar5]

Ah, Chapter 3, my beloathed

HAHA, yeah. This whole trial was just one bad writing decision after another. There are very few things I like about this trial, but I do like how Syobai was handled as a smart character since usually the problem with the Assistant/Support character is that they often feel like they just know the answers like they were given a cheat sheet, but unlike other examples of this type of character, Syobai was at least allowed to make mistakes when a flaw is pointed out by Kanade, who IS the very example of a cheat sheet (gestures to that one Chapter 2 clue with the icicles). So he had to go back and think it over, and is only able to figure things out by picking out other people's choice of words that gives him an idea of how the murder plan worked. Syobai is smart, but even he acknowledged that he couldn't do this on his own and needed to debate amongst the group. It's an example of a smart character done right, even if it was at the cost of the rest of the cast losing their braincells again and we had to go through 6+ fucking hours of a case that could've easily been cut down to three if we just stopped going back and forth on the culprits and simplified the murder case.

Speaking of smart characters being handled well, I can't say the same for Kanade since you can tell that she was one of LINUJ's favorites and is constantly being praised for being "smart" through the writing and dialogue, which is more aggravating and heavy-handed with how it was handled. It literally just screams, "Look at my edgy Mary Sue, isn't she cool?!!!" But it just falls really flat, at best, cause you know she's only "smart" and can "do everything" because LINUJ wanted her to be smart and "perfectly talented" and chose to rip away everyone's braincells just to have her be the smart one. And don't even get me started on the double-blackened twist. I like the concept in theory, especially since it would shake up the usual formula of Chapter 3 cases having three people die instead of two, even if Chapter 3 cases are usually mishandled and bad because of it. But only in theory, as when put into practice here, it's reasoning was so fucking stupid even by Danganronpa standards. Identical twins being almost exactly the same to the point that Hibiki and Kanade has the perfect sense of rhythm? That's so stupid and ignores the fact that twins are completely independent people that can have their own thoughts and interests, despite what fiction makes you think with it's own stereotypes on twins. And LINUJ forced ALL of the spotlight onto Kanade, and just shoved Hibiki to the side in the process. Like, c'mon. Regardless on if you think she should've survived or not, if you're going to kill her off, at least give her some focus for having killed her best friend without remembering it! Even V3, the same game that inspired LINUJ to create Kanade to be like Korekiyo, did the whole, "The Blackened who murdered the Victim didn't even remember doing it," concept a lot better and gave focus to how fucked up and heartbreaking it was for the Blackened to realize that YES, they did kill someone and it devastated them. Again, LINUJ clearly had a favorite, and that favorite just sucked everything out of Chapter 3 to the point it did a disservice to another character and just ruined the entire trial.

...At least I had fun voicing Kanade and Syobai. I got to really ham it up with Kanade's breakdowns, and be a little shit through Syobai. And my friend's reactions were entertaining, so I got some enjoyment out of this nonsense of a trial.

[fangirlfrom-hell]

"Cool Girl" || Halstead! Sister One Shot || Jay Halstead x Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

First time writing teen Becca.

Jay was so tired that he had fallen asleep watching TV. Actually, the only reason he woke up was because the gunshots on the movie playing were too loud. He scratched his eyes as he yawned and stretched himself, not wanting to stand up. "What time is it?" he asked to himself, and then muttered a "Fuck!" when he saw the clock on his phone.

He turned his head to look at the kitchen and it was intact, lights off and all cleaned. "She surely didn't even made herself a sandwish. I bet she hasn't eat anything all afternoon, since we arrived" - He grumbled as he stood. -"If I don't cook, she doesn't eat. She has to learn to do things for herself, this girl...". Jay wasn't even thinking what he was saying. He was still half asleep in zombie mode, which helped for the words that came out of Becca's room to have more impact on him.

He stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, not sure of what he was hearing: Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be. "Cool girl". Men always use that, don't they? It was definitely Becca.

Jay walked slowly towards the door, trying not to make noises. Her sister's voice was clearer as he came closer: As their defining compliment: "She's a cool girl". 

-"What the hell?" He muttered as he stepped outside of the room with his ear on the door.

Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man.

The detective slowly opened the door until he was able to see the back of his sister, she was facing to the mirror. There was something in her hands, but he couldn't figure what was it.

She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents her mouth for fuc--

-"WHO ARE YOU TALKING WITH?" Jay whipped the door and jumped inside of the room.

Becca was frightened by his brother's intrusion and screamed a bit as she turned to face him. She was holding a sheet of paper in her hands: "WHAT'S GOING ON? WE DON'T KNOCK THE DOOR ANYMORE?"

-"What was that? Who's Nick, Becca?" Her brother crossed his arms in a scolding position.

-"What!? Oh! You mean..." She bursted into laughter, unable to talk.

He was growing in cholera: "Becca Halstead, I'm not playing. Who the hell is Nick!?"

-"Relax, silly! Nick's nobody, literally. It's just a character".

Jay was confused.

-"It's a monologue...from a movie...for my acting class. I have to memorice it and I was talking to the mirror because I have no one to rehearse with. So, yeah Nick doesn't exist, you can chill". She laughed a bit more.

-"Oh" Jay's tense body started to relax. -"That's a pretty heavy content for you, anyway".

-"My teacher talked to you about this when I was moved to the advanced class and you agreed".

He frowned tryig to remember that conversation.

-"I don't see what's the problem. We already watched this movie...".

Jay's confused face was becoming more noticeable.

-"Gone Girl? Will chose it for a movie night. You teased him because the protagonist was very similar to one of his many ex-girlfriends".

Her brother chuckled: "Ah, I remember".

-"Look, this was given to us randomly, but I can talk to my teacher and change it if you prefer".

-"No. I mean, I don't know. You already watched the movie, I'll just give it a check if you don't mind".

-"Sure". She handled him the paper.

He changed the subject after a few seconds of silence: "I bet you didn't eat anything, right?" There was some accusation in his tone.

-"I had leftovers from lunch. I intented to make a sandwich, but I didn't want to wake you up. You seemed to be very tired".

Jay felt bad for how he had judged his sister before: "Alright. Put on your shoes, we're going out for hamburgers".

Becca gave a small jump of excitement and she hurriedly grabbed her boots: "I rather pizza, if you don't mind".

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share. 😌♡