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kometqh · 3 months

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𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭

Captain Rex x F!Jedi!Reader Pt.2 of Forget Me Not Rex has finally settled down on a faraway, isolated planet. Finally, he has found some semblance of peace from the ongoing war against the Empire. Finally, he can take the time to recover from losing you, but how long will that last? Word Count: 3007 Warnings: Swearing, making out, old injuries. A/N: This has been specifically requested, and can be thought of as either the continuation of the previous story or an alternative ending :) It was going to turn into a big fat smut but my brain couldn't handle posting that (I've never written or posted a full smut before!!)

Vast golden fields swayed gently in the warm, evening summer breeze. The golden sun illuminated the landscape, a warm glow settling over the hay and Rex's figure, who was relaxing on his porch, hands behind his head as he observed the sight before him.

How many times had he dreamt of such a sight? Of owning his own little farm, of owning a couple of banthas and chickens and goats?

Too many times for his younger, prouder self to admit.

Where his brothers used to loudly fantasise over their ideal futures, he was too busy playing the perfect soldier, sticking to his obligations, rules and limitations.

But now? Now he had that one small bundle of joy, held tightly within his iron-hard grasp. And he wasn't about to go exchanging it for anything else. Not in a million lifetimes.

The loud, content bellowing of a few banthas stripped him of his thoughts, his gaze looking for the one particular creature that always seemed to make the most noise. Far ahead, to his left, was one bantha, rolling its body in the hay, short tail wagging left to right, continuous hums and moos escaping its throat in ground-shaking vibrations.

A soft smile tugged at Rex's lips; that was his oldest, and his first ever Bantha.

He had spent the last four years nurturing and caring for the creature, leading it over stretches of land, until he was finally able to settle down in an abandoned farmhouse, far away from any civilization.

The farmhouse itself wasn't in such bad shape. Sure, it needed repairs here and there, but it wasn't anything a tough solider like Rex couldn't handle. He got to work pretty quick, with his handy tools and a shit ton of determination, he had refurnished and fixed the farmhouse within a year and a half, and now, all that was left was to renew the coat of paint that seemed to chip away any time it rained.

But Rex figured that could wait, after all, no one would be able to tell that the farmhouse was being used as long as it looked old and rusty, right?

With a soft sigh, he closed his eyes, basking in the warmth provided by the rays of the setting sun. He was tired. It was a long day of working on the farm, planting the appropriate crops for the upcoming, much colder, season, as well as milking the banthas to make different cheeses the next day.

He thought over his schedule, already feeling a headache rising in the back of his head. The following week he was supposed to be making his way over to the nearest town, to sell whatever he had managed to produce over the last two weeks. Going to the closest town over was his least favourite activity; he preferred to stay hidden away in his little farmhouse with his Banthas and Tooka.

He preferred to relax on his porch, to watch over his animals as they grazed happily across the long stretch of fields, to feel the warm sunrays kissing his skin, to watch the sun lazily disappear behind the horizon.

He let his tired eyes fall closed, the wrinkles on his skin seemingly fading away, a soft smile shining on his face at the soft hum of the summer breeze and grazing animals, an all too familiar weight lifting from his chest inch by inch. The gentle breeze passed his body, leaving a pleasant, cooling chill to run down his spine.

Darkness and warmth surrounded him like a weighted blanket, though his body felt light. He dreamt of nothing, his mind jumping to and from consciousness, his body twitching at a sudden shift in atmosphere. His ears almost twitched at the soft whir of a ship flying above, goose bumps rising over the expanse of his bare, muscular arms as a much stronger wind grazed past his body.

But his eyes snapped open to the sound of panicked tip-tapping of his banthas, their heaved breathing and confused whines reaching his ears. The warm honeyed glare of his eyes was gone, now replaced by a deep black as he looked around, the night sky pitch black.

He must have snoozed off or something, how many hours have passed?

The banthas continued to make noise, but this time the briefest whispers accompanied them. With a strong, heavy inhale, Rex slowly rose from his seat, eyes squinted as he tried to cover for his lack of vision.

Who were they? The Empire?

Surely not.

Rex had made sure to cover all of his tracks, remaining classed as officially dead in the Empire's files.

Did someone betray him?

But who?

And how?

Only a very small number of people actually knew-

"Hey lady! Calm it!" A familiar voice said all too loudly, giving an affectionate pat to one of the banthas. The voice, it was so.. so like Rex's.

His eyes widened as the other figures shushed the man, and Rex couldn't help the relieved smile and sigh that escaped his chest.

He knew those people. After all, they're the ones he rescued Echo with.

However, one by one, various emotions swirled around in his head. Happiness? Of course. He was happy to see his brothers after four gruelling, lonely years. Confusion? Hell yeah! What was so important that they had to break their no contact? Relief too, he could feel the way his heart rate had spiked just at the mere idea of danger, blood rushing into his head, loudly pounding against his eardrums.

Slowly, one foot moved, followed by the other, taking turns leading Rex down the porch, towards his brothers. Towards his family.

At the sight of Rex's moving figure, some men groaned, whereas Wrecker and Omega began running at full-speed towards the male, tackling him to the ground in a long awaited hug.

"Rex! We missed you!" Omega exclaimed, erupting into fits of laughter as Rex's strong arm wrapped around her and Wrecker.

"Alright alright! Now get off of me, I can feel my bones being crushed!" Rex exclaimed, though his hold on the two didn't ease, nor did his smile disappear. Quickly scrambling off of him, the two couldn't contain their happy, yet seemingly mischievous smiles as Hunter extended a hand out to Rex.

"It's been a while, brother." Hunter nodded, pulling Rex in for a quick hug, patting his back. Hunter's body was stiff, his shoulders tense and breathing strained as he moved away, Rex noticed. That was unusual.

Though a smile remained on his face, Rex couldn't help but feel nervous at the strange tension surrounding the batch. As he looked around, one eyebrow quirked at the sight of Tech and Crosshair shielding Echo from view and.. someone else? Who were they?

"What's going on..?" He questioned, his eyes narrowing as he looked between the two.

Echo and the figure stood in the very far back, Echo's arm was wrapped tightly around their shoulders, holding them protectively close to his chest, his grip tight as if the figure would disappear into the darkness of the night if his hold let up even by an inch.

His eyes remained trained on Echo and the mysterious figure, though Rex's head tilted slightly to the right, in Hunter's direction.

"Hunter-" Rex started, but was quickly interrupted by the look on Echo's face. His ears strained, almost missing the soft, trembling whimper. The figure brought a hand up to their face, too late in stifling the sound.

As their hand lifted, Rex noticed that all-too familiar, cuffed sleeve hanging onto their hand.

Time seemed to slow, his chest straining painfully at the sound. Rex could feel his heart drop, the air sucked from his body like a popped balloon.

His sight was stuck on that sleeve, visions plaguing his mind, replaying like a broken tape.

Memories, memories of her.

That voice.

His legs moved before his mind could even comprehend what was happening. Tech and Crosshair narrowly avoided being collided into, stepping to the side as Rex pushed through.

His lips twisted into a pained frown, his teeth gritted together like metal bars.

That robe.. That Jedi robe.

How didn't he notice it right away?

The look on Echo's face told him everything he needed to know, his hold easing on her as Rex reached his arms out, gripping her shoulders tightly.

"Y/n.." Her name spilled from his lips so easily, so softly, as though he was cursed, spellbound to only repeat her name, only those few simple syllables for the rest of eternity. It lingered on his tongue like the sweetest of syrups, leaving a fiery, burning trail in his throat, scalding at his heart like a molten fist, twisting, turning and tearing.

"Rex," A shiver fell down his spine, his breath hitching in his throat. How long had it been since he last heard it? Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes, his gut twisting into a familiar knot, adrenaline spreading like fire through his veins. His heart pumped blood so quickly, so fiercely through his body, it was like a thousand fireworks had gone off in that instant. Many people have said his name, of course, but only her voice had ever evoked such strong emotions in him.

From the way she'd command his attention during meetings, her gaze lingering a second longer than necessary, the way she'd whisper it when it was just the two of them, hiding in a faraway corner on one of the ships, or even the way it rolled off the tip of her tongue whilst-

It felt like the world around had been sucked into the background, leaving only the two of them, hearts beating wildly, minds melting over one another, even the cold night failing to gather their attention.

His hands, which had been previously on her shoulders, were now gently cradling her face, thumbs swishing back and forth in soft strokes.

His whole focus was on her eyes- oh, those starry eyes.

How many times had he dreamed of them?

How many times had he cried at night, calling out for her in broken whispers and sobs?

Rex knew it was a few times too many, and yet at the same time, it wasn't enough.

A sob left his lips as he dropped the hood off her head, revealing the person behind the shadowy figure.

Something was different. Off.

Her face, although so familiar, was now so different. Bathed in aged lines, marks, grease and dirt, and worst of all.. A scar.

He hadn't noticed it under the shadow of her hood, but now, it was ever so prominent under the blaring moonlight.

A lone tear cascaded down his face, leaving a wet, salty trail from the midpoint of his eye, down the plush softness of his cheek, dripping off the edge of his jaw. Just like her scar. He let his thumb caress the rough, broken, damaged skin, his lips twisted in a pained frown, stunned to silence.

Her hand, one that used to be so soft and so gentle, was now gripping tightly at his wrist, a gentle shadow on her cheeks, on her scar, casted by her eyelashes. When did she get it? How did she get it?

Her head twisted to the side, making the most effort to hide that side of her face from his gaze.

"Don't.." Rex whispered, no, he warned, taking a hold of her chin, forcing her to turn his way, to face him. Lowering his face to hers, his voice was strained, rough, pleading. "I want to see you.. Let me see you, mesh'la." The word spilled from his lips with such ease, like a prayer, with so much delicacy, so much practice, as he brushed his nose against hers, his eyes fluttering shut. His lips hovered just an inch above hers, feeling the warmth of her breath against his skin.

He had dreamt of this day, every night, every day. For. So. Many. Years.

He had dreamt of lifting her into his arms, of kissing her, of crying with her, of pushing her against his bed, leaning on top of her, making love to her.

For so many kriffing years.

She's alive.

"I missed you. So. Kriffing. Much." He muttered, his voice becoming more strained with each oncoming word, his eyes squeezed shut, his forehead flush against your own as he fought every fibre in his body against the awful, suffocating need to kiss you. Another pained whimper left your lips, unknowingly acting as a trigger for his next movements.

His lips crashed against your own, his hands keeping your face steady, making sure you wouldn't slip away like the hundreds, no, thousands of dreams he's had before.

Your lips were as soft as he remembered, your touch featherlight and rough. Your hands were shaking, he noted. You were afraid. Afraid of him? You wouldn't be kissing back if that was the case.

Your scent overwhelmed him, it was that faint smell of peach shampoo that he loved so much, it was making his knees weak. Where did you manage to get that from? From the state of you, he was sure you were dying for a hot, bubbly bath. Maybe it was just his imagination playing up. Kissing you, it was addicting. He was like a starved man, pushing his lips against your own, his tongue slipping past to dance with yours in a sweet Waltz, full of grief and hope and longing and all the years wasted away by your separation, by his fear of your light having been snuffed out, like a flickering flame.

You were his light in the dark, his oasis in a never-ending dessert, his midsummer night's dream. You had that spark in you - the one that attracted individuals to you like moths to light. Your laugh, so easily evoked, and your kind smiles, so easily graced upon anyone and everyone, shining down like sunshine on a dewy, autumn morning. You were a breath of fresh air, but also a crackling, comforting fire on a cold winters night.

But he had lost you just so quickly, on that day. Never knowing, for years, if you'd be back. If you were alive.

Your touch slowly grew from soft, dissipated like cotton-candy and falling snowflakes, to eager, pleading for more as your fingers found solace in his slightly outgrown blonde hair, encasing his head in your embrace, pulling him closer as you kissed feverishly, afraid he will disappear like dandelion seeds on a spring day.

You couldn't hear anything but his heartbeat, you couldn't smell anything but his scent, one that had creeped up on you and wrapped around you in an invisible embrace, the smell of freshly cut grass and smoky campfires entrapping you. You couldn't feel anything but him. His hands, always so much bigger than yours, had completely and utterly gotten control over your body, feeling and caressing your hair, gripping your chin and pulling you closer by your waist, his lips hot against your own, his breathing stuttering and yet so laboured as his teeth clashed against your own, his eyes scrunched shut - afraid you would disappear.

Being held in his arms was like a dream come true. You could spend an eternity with him, never losing your love and affection for the soldier standing before you. His warmth planted butterflies in your stomach, and his touch ignited them, making them burn wildly in your gut, scalding and yet patching over the old scars and wounds, gently embracing your heart in a healing bandage.

Only Rex could do such a thing.

Only Rex could make your heart beat faster, only Rex could have adrenaline pumping through your veins just by a featherlight touch, or a sweet, candy-like, tooth-rotting whisper, or a longing, loving gaze of his golden irises and lush eyelashes.

So lost in each other, for so long, neither the two of you broke contact, until Hunter had to clear his throat awkwardly and speak up to make the two of you slowly, unwillingly, pull apart.

Rex's forehead rested against yours, crows feet tugging at the outer corners of his eyes, his lips slightly agape as he tried to calm down the galloping of his heart.

Slowly, eventually, his eyes opened again, the familiar warm colour of honey swirling around his pupils as he gazed into your eyes, a small, pained, and yet happy smile overtaking his features. His heart melted as that same smile reflected on your face, and tears brimmed in your eyes.

"Are you guys done yet?" Crosshair's voice called from a short distance, disgust and yet somehow a hint of endearment present in it.

"You lot go ahead, we'll catch up in a minute," Rex tossed the words over his shoulder with little to no care, rolling his eyes at the loud scoff that came from Crosshair. It was quickly followed by an audible smack, an 'Ouch', and the sound of retreating footsteps.

Your shoulders shook as a breathy laugh escaped you, and as you shut your eyes once more, tears began to escape one by one, sliding down the expanse of your cheek. Rex wasted no time in bringing a hand to gently wipe away at your tears, his own tears tickling at his waterline.

He missed you so damn much.

And finally, you were here, with him, crying and smiling in his arms.

His throat felt tight, as if someone was strangling him, daring him to say anything. His chest felt heavy, and he was sure if he was stood up any longer, he would simply collapse.

His thumb caressed the soft, and yet ragged, skin on your cheek, the corners of his lips twisted into a semi-frown, his heart hurting, blood pumping loudly in his ears.

His lips opened and closed, at a loss for words, but his voice found a way to come through.

"You have n-no idea," His voice was just above a mere whisper, afraid if he were to speak any louder, you'd crumble away under his touch, or he'd wake up.

His thumb moved to trace the outline of your scar, a loving look present in the golden pool of his irises.

"You're as beautiful as the day I lost you.."

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shaybreezy-17 · 1 year

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Zoro’s First Time

(Zoro x F!Reader)

TW: Explicit content (smut), suggestive behavior, inappropriate language, potential substance use.

Reader discretion advised.

For ages: 18+

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You sat outside on the deck, a bottle in your hand. You weren’t even close to drunk, just properly buzzed, hoping to grow tired soon.

It was deep into the night, maybe 1 A.M., if you could guess. Everyone had just gone to bed, but not you.

You were fairly new to the Straw Hats and you guys just got back from a particularly intense adventure. You were glad to be part of the crew, but you couldn’t shake all of the pain and bloodshed you and everyone around you endured throughout your recent battle.

A shiver rolled down your spine as you pictured your Captain, Luffy, unconscious. He was utterly exhausted, despite the fight being a couple days ago now. It was now day 3, and he was still out like a light.

You bit back tears, trying not to think about the beatings you took yourself. Your body was in pain, but you felt you had no place to complain as you didn’t have it nearly as bad as most of the others.

Placing your thoughts on the back burner, you got up from the floor of the deck. After grabbing another beer from the kitchen, you decided to pay Zoro a visit in the crows nest where he liked to keep watch.

You figured it wouldn’t hurt, since neither of you could sleep anyway. That, and, the fact that you secretly found Zoro attractive.

When you got to the door, you stood there for a moment, taking a deep breath. You hoped he wouldn’t be annoyed by you stopping by, but you kept your expectations 6 feet under, because you never know with the grumpy Swordsman.

You slowly opened the door. Zoro, who was facing away from you, whipped his head around, hand reaching for the swords attached to his hip.

“Oh, it’s just you.” He said, voice monotone. His body eased up and the grip around his swords loosened. “Did you need something, Y/N?”

“No, I just wanted to check up on you.” You smiled. “Brought you a beer.”

“Uh, thank you.” He replied, reluctantly taking the beer from your hand. “But I’m doing fine.”

“I also can’t sleep, so I was kinda hoping for some company.” You walked over, sitting next to him.

He awkwardly shifted away from you, just a tad. Ouch.

“Do you have an issue with me, Zoro?” Your voice deepened. The Swordsman was definitely taking longer to warm up to you compared to everyone else in the crew and you wanted to know if it was just how he was or if he genuinely didn’t like you.

He glanced over at you, expression hardening. “I never said I did. But you came in here to check on me like I’d need saving from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” Your eyebrow raised so far up into your forehead, it was sure to have left a wrinkle. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You wouldn’t be able to do much with your size and strength. If anything, I’d be the one saving you.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“First of all, I’m nowhere near weak and petite, you just have enough strength to make any girl feel small around you…” You paused, expression softening. “Look, Zoro, I know I’m only a few weeks into the crew and you probably see me as a worthless addition, but I’m gonna prove myself, kay? Just take a chance on me.”

His eyes failed to meet mine. He looked down at his swords, fiddling with the handles. “If there’s a reason Luffy wants you here, I have no objections.”

“That’s it?” you blurted out, almost way too fast.

“I saw you fighting out there.” He smirked. “You’re feisty, I’ll give you that.”

Your cheeks felt hot. “Oh, thanks. I was pretty terrified. I’m sure you could see that too.”

“At least you’re not dead.” He replied, expressionless once again.

“I saw you too, Zoro. I’d say you’ve really mastered the art of Swordsmanship.” You said, offering a warm smile.

“No, not yet. Not until I become the worlds greatest.” He sunk into his seat, running his hand through his green hair.

You took this opportunity to scoot a bit closer to him. “That’s been your main focus for so long now you probably don’t get to enjoy things most people your age do.” You whispered.

To your surprise, he didn’t scoot away. “Well, I drink like everyone else. There’s not much else to it.”

“That’s true but, have you ever been in love?” You bit your lip in anticipation, hoping you hadn’t gone too far.

“Me? Never.” His gaze sharpened. “Love would distract me from being the greatest swordsman in the world.”

“Okay, I can see your point. What about more physical types of activities?”

“Like sports?”

“Mm, no. Like physical activities involving two people…” You wondered if his cluelessness would prevail.

“Like a battle?” He raised his eyebrow in confusion. “I battle all the time, I thought you knew this by now?”

“Oh gosh.” You sighed, facepalming. “Sex, Zoro. I mean sex.”

His eyes widened, face turning slightly red. “Why would you assume I haven’t?”

“What? No, no.” You threw your hands up in the air feigning innocence. “I don’t think you’re a virgin or anything but I’m sure it’s been a while…”

“I’ve never done it before. I’ve been training ever since I was little so I’ve never had time for that.” He admitted.

Your eyes fell to the floor. “Oh.”

“Is that a problem for you?” He asked, seemingly offended.

“No, not at all. I just wonder how much better your workouts would benefit you if you were sexually active.” You shifted closer to him, resting your body against his side.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused. The poor moss head was clueless.

“I mean there’s tons of benefits to having sex. For one, it relieves pain.” You ran your finger across his chest, tracing his scar. “It eases stress.” He watched you, intently. “The sleep afterward is heavenly…” Your finger dipped down to his tree trunk of a thigh. “I mean, the list goes on.”

“So, would this help me become a better swordsman?” He asked, bulge aching with an unfamiliar sensation.

“I mean, don’t take my word for it, I’m not a scientist or anything. It’s just word of mouth…” You tried to speak casually, but you had an ache between your legs too.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You propped yourself on his lap, facing him.

“Hey?! Y/N! What are you doing?” His cheeks were pink, but his expression showed surprise and anger.

“Eh hem” You cleared your throat. “Roronoa Zoro, may I please, have the honor of having sex with you?”

“Eh?!” His eyes grew so wide they were practically popping out of his skull. “Y/N, are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Zoro, I’ve been into you since I first met you but you’re too clueless to see that!” You threw your hands up in the air, still on his lap. “I don’t expect a relationship or anything, I know you’re too focused on being the best swordsman. But, who says we can’t be intimate from time to time?”

“I’m not someone you should be into.” He retorted, raising his eyebrow. “But, if you feel us being intimate will help me improve…” His eyes shot to the floor.

“I do. But, I also don’t want to push you!” You replied. “If you’d like to do this with me, I’d love to, but I’m fine with waiting until you’re ready if it’s not now.” You smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

His expression softened, you watched his eyes trail along your body. You’d never seen Zoro look at a woman for this long before…

His hands lightly rested on your hips. “Well my shirt is already off, Y/N…”

You blushed, pulling your top over your head, taking it off. You had no bra on so you felt extra exposed.

His eyes focused on your nipples. You grabbed his hands and guided them along your body until they reached your breasts.

Zoro’s expression was unreadable, but the hardness of his dick below you wasn’t.

“You can squeeze if you’d like.” You whispered.

He silently nodded, cupping your boobs, squeezing here and there. You leaned forward for him to suck on them, to which he complied.

As you leaned forward, Zoro slid your pants and panties down to your knees, while you were still straddling him. You gasped in surprise.

With your nipple still in his mouth, he fumbled eagerly with the waste-band in his pants and pulled his dick out, slapping it against your already soaking wet pussy.

“Wait Zoro!” You yelped, stifling a moan. “I wanna be your first for something else first, too!”

You got off of him and he watched you in silence, confused.

You fell to your knees and took his pants and boxers off completely. Sitting on your knees, propped between his legs, you bent forward taking his dick deeply into your mouth.

It was long and more importantly, thick.

Zoro couldn’t help it. He threw his head back, letting out a loud groan. You sucked just enough for him to edge and then you stopped once you felt his dick throb in your throat.

He propped his head up to look at you in confusion and annoyance. “What was that for? I was almost there…”

You giggled, taking your pants off all the way, clumsily and propping yourself back on to his lap. “You’re so cute when you’re whiny.”

“Hey! I’m not-”

And with that, you slid yourself on to his dick, not even letting him finish his sentence.

“Fuck, Y/N!” He groaned. You rode him even faster, feeling the vibration of your cheeks jiggle up and down as you bounced on his cock. “You’re gonna pay for this.”

His hands flew to your ass, gripping it helplessly. Drool was pooling at the sides of his mouth as he bit his lip, desperately trying not to whimper but he didn’t know how much more he could take.

Without thinking, he flipped you over so you were under him. He knew if you kept riding him, he would’ve came then and there so he had to take control of the situation.

He pinned your arms above your head as he pounded into you. You hoped the loud squeaking of the booth wouldn’t wake the whole crew up, but your moans might’ve already done it first.

He was showing no mercy. With every thrust, you felt your pussy tighten around him, with a burning sensation building up within your whole body. You let out a string of breathy moans that Zoro quickly covered with the one hand that wasn’t holding yours above your head.

You were in complete, total bliss. He was fucking you like a jackrabbit and you were surely going to be sore for the next week at least, but it hurt so good. He had found your g-spot for what felt like ages ago, so it was just a matter of how many times he could make you cum now. Your pussy was a sopping mess at this point, your body spasmed as you squirmed under him, but his grip on your arms was firm. You were probably on your 4th orgasm in a row, as tears ran down your face and the sweat on your forehead made your hair stick to it.

Letting go of your mouth and arms, he shifted his body forward so it was fully hovering over you. His pace slowed as his face was in the crook of your neck, breath hot and heavy.

You relaxed under him, half dick drunk. He kept a slow, consistent pace and you could tell he was finally close to being done. He peppered kisses along your neck, making your entire body shiver. As you wrapped your legs around him tightly, you searched for his lips. You tugged on his hair, causing a moan to escape his lips as he lifted his head up to look at you. You reached up to pull his face back down to yours, sharing a kiss. For someone who might’ve never kissed before, or done anything for that matter, he was making you feel amazing.

As you came down from another blissful orgasm, he followed closely behind, letting out a string of moans and groans before collapsing on top of you.

“I can’t believe it took you that long to cum for your first time!” you whined, out of breath.

“I came earlier too, what do you mean?” He asked, scratching his forehead, in confusion as he sat up.

“You came more than once?” You smirked, but then the realization hit. “INSIDE ME?!”

“Yeah? It felt so good, I couldn’t help it.” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, I did say you were gonna pay for riding me like that…”

“Zoro! What if I get pregnant? That’s how babies are made, ya know!” You yelled, examining the glistening folds between your legs.

He hovered his face down to meet your pussy. It looked as though he was examining it. “It’s all dripping out anyway. Should we take you to Chopper and see if he can make a pregnancy blocking medicine or something?”

“That’s so embarrassing, though!” You whined, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red at the thought of Chopper telling the rest of the Straw Hats that you and Zoro went to visit him because you were scared he put a literal baby in you. You could imagine the uproar in the ship and the look on their faces. Neither of you would hear the end of it! “They’ll all find out what we did…”

He laughed, picking your body up and placing you over him in a bridal style position. You both laid naked in each other’s arms, silence being the only thing between you two. “Yeah, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea having the rest of the crew know about this…” He finally let out.

You nodded in agreement. “I know… But, Zoro?”

“Yes?”

“I like you.” You bit your lip trying not to bounce of the damn walls with the anxiety welling up inside you. “If we can do this in secret, why can’t you be with me in secret?”

“I-I, Hmm” He paused, as if thinking about what to say next. “I guess I could. You definitely make me feel different than any other woman in my life has…”

He looked at you, with gleaming eyes. You’d never seen Zoro have so much expression in his face before, other than when he was angry. You cupped his face, and leaned in for another kiss, to which is surprisingly obliged.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N. And, I don’t say that lightly.” He whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “What if I break your heart?”

“You might, but we’re on this ship to take risks, right?” You smiled. “And if you break my heart, I’ll break your swords and we’ll call it even!”

“Eh!?” His lips curled into a devious smile. He shifted his body and pushed you off of him in the process, back on to the booth. You were on all fours, looking back at him, confused.

“How about I break your back right now? You’re already in position for me…”

The two of you stayed up until sunrise, but nobody kept watch…

Other works: https://www.tumblr.com/shaybreezy-17/720678363406254080/zoro-x-femreader

https://www.tumblr.com/shaybreezy-17/718435474566414336/one-piece-monster-trio-usopp-as-your-boyfriend

#one piece #zoro #roronoa zoro #zoro imagine #zoro x reader #one piece smut

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ash-rigby · 1 year

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Sampling The Wares (Shark Humanoid) [F/F]

Featured Characters: Female human and a female shark humanoid. Both are adults.

Description: Enid, an adventurer seeking coin, has been tasked with travelling over treacherous waters for the sole purpose of obtaining a powerful aphrodisiac from a monstrous sea witch. Audra has what she seeks, but offers the warrior a chance to test the substance before she leaves. Enid is compelled to oblige.

Contains: Aphrodisiacs, Nipple Play, Mild Nipple Growth, Mild Clit Growth, Non-Penetrative Sex, Oral, Tribbing, Degradation, Multiple Orgasms.

Completion Date: July 2nd, 2023

Word Count: 4731

The closer Enid got to the island, the more it revealed itself to undeniably be a place of magic. The harsh, whipping winds suddenly dissipated in an instant and the turbulent waters which had threatened her small vessel calmed. The surface was like glass, revealing swirling, pale lights and wholly unique sea creatures. Anywhere that Enid’s skin was bare still stung from the cold, so the warmth that descended—though very humid—was welcome.

She was there on behalf of a man and woman from a town she had been passing through. They were offering substantial coin to anyone who would brave the perpetually tumultuous bay and the individual who presided in it; a witch in alleged possession of a certain magical substance. A powerful aphrodisiac, to be precise. It was an extreme length to go to for some added intensity in the bedroom, but Enid wasn’t about to turn down such a payment.

Her boat was dragged up onto the shore by an unseen force as she approached. A long, dark and slimy tendril emerged from the sand which made her reach for her sword. But it simply acted to tie the ship in place, burbling quietly as it secured itself. She released a breath and disembarked.

Before Enid was a moderately-sized, craggy rock face. A staircase with stone steps and decrepit wooden railings ran up it. It could only lead to the small island’s only dwelling; the home of Audra. Several large insects scurried out of Enid’s way when she walked towards it and began to carefully ascend.

At the top edge of the cliff, she came to a dirt pathway leading up a fog-shrouded knoll to a modest shack a short distance away. She paused to look for any sign of the reportedly monstrous witch. Nothing. The only movement was that of a crow pecking at something on the cabin’s crooked roof. It eyed her curiously as she approached, cocking its head before returning to its repetitive business.

Enid made her way up the three creaking porch steps and to the shack’s door. Beside it was a tarnished bell hanging from a short, haphazardly-installed metal arm.

“Best not to assume I can just barge right in,” Enid thought.

She pulled the bell’s string, startling as it made a horrible squawking noise instead of a ring. Her attention snapped from it and back to the door which opened mere seconds later.

There stood a creature a couple heads shorter than Enid; humanoid in most places, shark-like in others. She had sand-coloured skin, muddy yellow eyes, and a shock of short, unkempt golden hair on her head. Many deadly-looking teeth stuck out from her lips which twitched into an insincere smile as the equally sharp gaze travelled to meet hers.

“Hello, pup,” the creature said in a voice like salt water.

Enid straightened her spine. “Are you Audra?”

“I am she,” the witch said. She briefly looked Enid over, her nostrils wrinkling as she scoffed. “More hired muscle to take out a coward’s perceived threat?”

Her tone wasn’t angry or fearful; more lightly condescending. As if she were speaking to an insect that could be easily crushed should it think large enough of itself to try and sting.

“No,” Enid said, taking her hand away from the hilt of her blade. “I’ve come to purchase…something specific.”

Audra sniffed. “Suppose you wouldn’t have bothered ringing otherwise.”

She turned back towards the inside of her home, the fin of her shark tail audibly brushing the door frame.

“Come in, then,” she said. “Let’s get you sorted.”

Enid followed, finding herself in a dimly lit room full of curios and magical implements. There was a scent in the air. It wasn’t unpleasant, warm in her nose and somewhat spicy. Various ingredients were laid out on a table nearby. Assorted herbs, jars full of liquid too murky to discern the contents, and a strange purple root sitting half-chopped on a cutting board. Enid had clearly caught the witch in the middle of something; she would try and make this quick.

“Now, what might a warrior want of me?” Audra asked, leaning against the work table with her thick arms crossed over her chest; which was bare and carried two matching horizontal scars underneath where her breasts might have once been. She motioned towards the sword at Enid’s hip. “Perhaps to enchant that toothpick you carry?”

Enid gripped the scabbard protectively. “It was left to me by my late father. I would not see it altered.”

“Suit yourself,” Audra said with a shrug of her broad shoulders. She blinked into their brief silence. “Speak. What do you want?”

Enid’s face burned. She had not considered the embarrassment that would come from requesting the item she had come for.

“Courtesan’s Touch,” she said. "A jar of Courtesan’s Touch.“

A real grin found Audra then, a chuckle shaking her frame and flaring the gills on her neck.

"I haven’t brought any of that to the mainland for a while,” she said thoughtfully. “You must be desperate to come this far for it, you naughty thing.”

“It’s not for me,” Enid defended.

“Your loss,” Audra said, her yellow eyes flashing even in the low light as she walked over to a nearby cabinet. “It’s exhilarating. What your client lacks in guts to come themselves, they make up for in taste.”

Enid coughed. “It’s not my job to judge; my client or the product.”

“But of course,” Audra said. She procured one of a collection of clay jars from the cabinet. It had a burlap cloth secured with twine covering the opening. “Though it could be.”

“What do you mean?” Enid asked, finding herself oddly fixated on the way Audra’s large hand cupped the round jar.

“Come now,” Audra said with a smirk. “You’re telling me you aren’t the least bit curious? To ‘sample the wares’, as it were?”

She was not wrong; Enid had speculated multiple times about the substance. What was it about a simple topical ointment that could be worth her journey and pay? It had to be powerful. Images of heated bodies going wild together with pleasure under its influence rose unbidden in her mind.

“None whatsoever,” she said, attempting to dash the lustful thoughts away and keep her pride. “This is a—.”

“Job, yes,” Audra interrupted. “However.”

The witch moved forward into Enid’s space, her voice lowering.

“I’m hard to deceive, pup. This excites you. You may lie, but my nose doesn’t.”

She accompanied her words with an indiscreet glance lower on Enid’s body and then back to her face, her hairless brow raising.

“You…” Enid murmured, taking a half-step back as a further flush slammed into her.

Audra gave a harsh bark of laughter. “I was kidding…but I’m right, aren’t I?”

Enid’s lips pressed tightly together as she looked to the floor, her heart hammering and not just from embarrassment. She watched as Audra returned to the cabinet and procured a second jar that was half the size of the first.

“Your journey was long and you seem tense,” Audra said. She held out the smaller jar. “Why not unwind?”

Enid stared at the offered item, knowing she should refuse but feeling her resolve flaking away. She hadn’t even thought about sex for a while. Not before she had taken that couple up on their request. But surely, it couldn’t be that easy for her to give in to such an indulgent whim.

Audra was pushing. Though it did seem malicious. It wasn’t as if the witch had any reason to poison Enid or some other such wicked deed. Perhaps she was simply trying to sell more of her wares than this transaction intended. And perhaps it was working.

“You may use my bedroom. Completely undisturbed.” Audra continued, gesturing behind her.

At the rear of the shack, there was a room cut off from the home proper by a ragged but effective privacy curtain. Enid looked at it and then back to Audra. She sighed and, against her better judgement, took the jar.

“I…suppose it would be best to know its quality for certain,” she said. “Find out if the stories are just stories.”

Audra grinned. “Of course…that’s all.”

Enid brushed past her and made her way to the bedroom.

“Call if you need anything,” Audra said after her as the curtain was shut.

The room was small, mostly taken up by the bed but still with more than enough walking space around it. Despite being alone, Enid couldn’t help but feel awkward. She could scarcely believe she was doing this. The jar in her hand suddenly felt so volatile. Placing it on the bed, she set about removing her gear and clothes until she was standing topless in the witch’s bedroom.

Enid sat on the edge of the mattress. It was old, but not dirty. She laid herself down against the pillows which were individually flat and stacked to be in any way comfortable. Taking a breath, she then reached for the jar and removed the lid.

The scent of the contents hit her at once; not unlike honey with a hint of something earthy. It flooded her senses and made something pleasantly shiver its way down her spine. Emboldened by rising excitement, she scooped up a bit of the milky-coloured ointment with her fingers. She ignored the need between her legs, not quite ready to go that far with it yet. Instead, she brought it to one of her nipples.

As Enid rubbed it against her quickly perking flesh, it thinned into a liquid that ran in rivulets down the curve of her breast. She did the same with the other before leaving the jar at her side to work the substance in with both hands. A pleased sigh escaped her as she teased herself. It felt good, but nothing more than what was typical.

She added more, making the whole of her tits glisten with it. Arousal flickered to life inside of her; a small, controlled candle flame rather than a blaze. Her thighs began to rub together unconsciously. She was certainly losing herself to this more quickly, but she wondered when the real show would begin. Was this all?

Just as Enid was starting to doubt the witch’s words, she felt a tingling sensation wherever the ointment had touched, concentrated at its highest power on the now-hardened buds on her breasts. She stopped touching herself just to feel it descend upon her with fascination. It was warm and didn’t seem set on fading. Quite the contrary; it was growing more intense by the second.

Enid was helpless to it. She began to pant as sweat sprung up over her heating body. She became aware that the quick heaving of her chest was bringing her pleasure, however subtle the movement it brought to her breasts. Shaking fingers rose once more to her nipples. A loud moan wrenched itself from her as her back snapped into an arch from the intense pleasure.

Her body dropped heavily and she lay in shock for only a moment before she was compelled to continue.

“Fuck…fuck,” she whimpered, rolling a hyper-sensitive nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

Her heart knocked against her ribs. This was it. This was what she had been looking for and more. Any walls she had pointlessly held up shattered and she gave herself over entirely to the Touch.

Enid proceeded to grope herself like she never had before; hard and desperate. Her hands squeezed the mound of her breasts, all but tugged at her nipples. Wetness was gathering in her undergarments the longer she fondled. Shameless noises and curses streamed from her mouth which began to drool from the corners.

She could imagine the sight she made; reduced so quickly to a writhing mess just from touching her own tits. But she wanted more. Needed more.

Enid paused, hands falling to rest at her sides. A glance down her body showed her thoroughly used nipples. She gasped to see them having swollen to twice their original size. They were dark and lightly, but visibly, throbbing.

Enid reached for her belt. She fumbled with it, discovering that her fingers were shaking too much to undo the buckle. Her pussy demanded attention with ardent pulses. The need to please it was enough to bring frustrated tears to Enid’s eyes. Her hands dropped once more, gathering the sheets tightly into her palms.

Biting back a whine, her gaze was drawn back to her chest, slick with a combination of the ointment and her sweat. Her engorged nipples continued to rapidly twitch. She tried to resume teasing them, but a single prod caused a shock of limb-weakening pleasure. It was too much. She couldn’t keep up. The realization struck that she couldn’t finish this herself.

Laying there, set upon by relentless arousal strong enough to bring her a full-body tremble, it was hard to think. But she didn’t have to contemplate long about what to do next. Her mind wandered to sharp teeth and strong arms. To large, undoubtedly skillful hands that would be a balm on this ache. With a voice rising to an embarrassing near-wail, Enid called out in an urgent appeal to the only person for miles.

“Audra!”

Enid waited, praying that the witch hadn’t left the home. But the privacy curtain was soon being pushed aside and Audra strode into the room. Her eyes glinted as they slowly roamed Enid’s body which lay on willing display for her. A dark tongue darted out briefly over her bottom fangs, making Enid swallow hard around her heavy breaths.

Audra hummed in amusement. “My, my, what a state.”

“Please…please, Audra. Please,” Enid pleaded. “I-I need—.”

Shushing her, Audra approached the bed. She chuckled; more fond this time than ridiculing.

“Patience, pup,” she said lowly. “I have you.”

She situated herself on the bed and leaned over Enid, the scent of her heavy and intoxicating. Her hand cupped Enid’s face and she instinctively turned into it, exposing the length of her neck. Warm breath ghosted over her skin as Audra’s tongue traced its way up her throat and up to her ear, teasing at the lobe. Even that simple of an action made her cunt throb; she was done for.

Audra pulled away. “Look at me.”

Enid obeyed, meeting the witch’s thin pupils before being brought into a kiss. Though it was not as much of a kiss as it was Audra slipping her tongue directly into her mouth. She felt her eyes widen as the impossibly long muscle snaked down her throat and she couldn’t deny how arousing it was. Sharp teeth grazed her lips as the tongue explored deeply. Enid moaned around it when a hand finally found her chest.

Audra took one of Enid’s breasts, pressing and rolling the nipple under her thumb. Swollen and straining, it pulsed all the harder under the witch’s touch. She could certainly feel it and that fact should have been mortifying. But Enid couldn’t muster an ounce of care. Not when it was the source of such pleasure.

Cries muffled by the thick tongue laving around in her throat, Enid felt wild. Every brush against her nipple added to the fluttering heat that had overtaken her entire body. She thought she may very well quiver out of her skin.

Audra then retracted her tongue, licking her teeth as Enid gasped for air. Drool glistened on her chin and her gaze had become hungry. Both hands went to Enid’s tits, relentless attention fixed on the sensitive buds upon them. She gave yet another devious chuckle over Enid’s loud moans, her voice slightly rougher as she spoke.

“Look at them throbbing like that,” Audra marveled. “I knew there was a perverted body under that tough exterior. It’s always the uptight ones.”

Enid merely whimpered, ecstasy fighting against any coherent speech.

“Looks tasty,” Audra said and it was the only warning Enid received before that probing tongue descended onto her chest.

It was so much better than a hand, circling over her nipple at alternating paces as Audra let out low, satisfied noises. Like someone devouring a delicious meal. Enid weakly tugged at the sheet, head tossed back against the pillow. Her breasts were slowly wet further with warm saliva as Audra moved her mouthy affections between both. The sensation was filthy, but she revelled in it.

A fever of pleasure wracked her body. Her legs snapped open of their own accord as her ignored pussy dribbled and throbbed. She wanted nothing more than to grind it against something—anything. Her hips writhed with that desire but she could do nothing more.

Yet, somehow, it was enough.

Enid moaned when a familiar feeling, though with an unfamiliar epicentre, surged within her. It was rapidly building to a peak as she was fondled and licked. Her nipples all but pounded with heartbeats of their own; though that was likely the effect of her own racing pulse in her ears. She could barely tell what was what anymore through the haze of impending release.

Audra was unwavering, her pleased vocalizations vibrating against slick, heated skin.

“Audra…I can't—Audra, I’ll cum,” Enid said, frantic and breathless. “I…I—oh, fuck! I’m cumming! I’m cu—!”

The words were cut off by a loud, quavering cry. Completely untouched, pleasure radiated from her sweltering cunt. Her back bent into as much as an arch as was allowed by Audra remaining on top of her. The witch teased her through it, prolonging her ecstasy until it was almost unbearable.

Enid’s orgasm dropped her. She lay catching her breath, twitching periodically with aftershocks as her nipples continued to throb. Audra had sat back to seemingly admire her work. An infuriatingly arousing smugness was settled into those shark-like features.

“And that,” Audra said, fangs flashing. “Is Courtesan’s Touch.”

Her hand lighted on Enid’s torso just below her heaving breasts. She trailed her fingers downwards. They came to a stop just before travelling between Enid’s legs, toying with the seam on her pants.

“It does wonders here,” she said, undeniable excitement oozing from her tone. “May I?”

Enid nodded. “Please.”

“Good girl.”

Audra relinquished Enid of the rest of her clothes, gently sliding a single large hand under the small of her back to encourage her to assist by lifting her hips. Enid’s pants and underwear were dropped unceremoniously to the floor and her pussy was exposed to the air. She shivered, watching curiously as Audra took a moment to remove her waist wrappings and even things with her own nudity.

“Let’s not let you have all the fun,” she said.

Remaining standing by the bed, Audra lifted a foot and placed it up on the bed by Enid’s head so that her cunt was on full display. Enid couldn’t help but stare at the enticing folds and prominent clit. She swallowed at the thought of sucking it. The unrelenting heat of the aphrodisiac still raged and quickened her breath as her desirous gaze remained fixed.

Audra reached down to thumb at her clit, eliciting a pleased hum. She gestured with a flick of her head to Enid’s side.

“Hand me that, would you?”

Enid fumbled a little in reaching for the jar and giving it to Audra. The witch took a liberal amount of the ointment, using two of her thick fingers to rub it into her pussy. It quickly left a glistening, wet mess. Audra made a show of it, thrusting lightly into the air above Enid’s face as she played with herself. The scent of her soon-leaking cunt was dizzying.

“Getting a good look, aren’t you?” Audra asked in between heavy breaths. “You like to watch…I can tell.”

“Yes,” Enid admitted, barely suppressing a needy whine at the sight of flushed and dripping folds parting eagerly for tireless fingers. She would kill for that then. Her body cried out in every silent but still insistent way to be teased and fucked. She couldn’t stand it any longer.

Audra paused before any begging could occur. The whole of her pussy twitched as she remained with her foot up on the bed for only a few more moments. Enid could see a slight swelling beginning in her clit, wondering just how much it would be affected by the Touch.

Palming the jar and still breathing slightly erratically, Audra moved to sit back on the bed. Enid’s heart began to pound again in anticipation. Her head lolled against the pillow so she felt more than saw when Audra’s fingers made contact with her neglected pussy. It throbbed hard at the first stroke, sending her hips jolting.

The ointment melted to its liquid state as Audra took up an agonizingly slow pace. Enid moaned all the same, shaking and weak with the relief of finally being touched this way. Every stroke was heavenly, but they stopped all too soon. She felt movement which brought her attention to the witch.

Audra climbed up onto the bed, situating herself on her knees between spread thighs. Giving the warrior a crafty look, she reached out and grabbed Enid’s waist, pulling her forward with unexpected strength. Enid yelped and found herself with her backside resting up on Audra’s legs, her own splayed out on either side of the witch.

Audra smiled at the indignant expression she received but said nothing. She reached for the jar again to gather more ointment—and focus a generous portion entirely on Enid’s clit. The warm, wide pad of Audra’s thumb worked it in with slow circles. Enid’s toes curled from the pleasure. Her lower half trembled, her soaking cunt quivering with every pass over her clit.

She panted as a familiar tingling settled in. She felt it like hot blood rushing rapidly into her clit. Her eyes rolled back with it. This time, she was hyper-aware of the swell. Every heartbeat-like pulse filled out her clit further. The sheer increasing strain of it kept cries spilling from her lips even though the touches had ceased.

Enid knew that Audra had stopped to observe. To watch her grow with that sharp, starving animal look of hers. She could feel those feral eyes on her pussy and it only served to make her clit pound harder. Biting back a sob, she finally looked at Audra, her aroused ideas confirmed.

But more than Audra’s intense staring, Enid was struck by the state of her clit. It had grown to a fair three inches, thick and throbbing as it stood jutting away from her body not unlike a cock. She whimpered, dying to touch it, but unable to stop her mind from whirling enough to put her hand into motion.

Audra let out a low growl, but it was accompanied by a large, toothy grin. She shuffled backwards ungracefully, allowing Enid’s body to drop hard onto the mattress. The motion made Enid’s raging clit bob drastically and stars burst in her wavering vision at the shock of pleasure.

“Stay with me, pup,” Audra said huskily at the same time that Enid felt warm air puff against the skin of her sweat-slick thigh.

The witch was suddenly laying on her stomach between Enid’s legs, her pointed face inching closer to her cunt. That tongue which had enthusiastically explored her throat and teased her nipples slipped once again through deadly fangs. Enid barely had a lucid second to brace herself before it was tracing its way up her folds. A wail shook itself from her as it wrapped around the length of her clit.

Audra bobbed her head, writhing her tongue as she moved. The wet, rhythmic squeeze was exquisite. Her breath was humid against the mound of Enid’s pussy, laced with frequent drops of the saliva glinting off her fangs. The yellow eyes had glazed over somewhat, a whisper of palpable arousal forming on shark-like features as Audra’s hips began to rut against the mattress.

“Gods…gods,” Enid gasped, finally finding it in herself to return her hands to her still swollen and twitching nipples. Her moans cracked to a higher pitch, sounding in the small space over and over. She bucked into Audra’s face when pleasure would spike. Part of her feared she may lance herself on those sharp teeth, but it was a faint concern fogged by the mounting ecstasy of a fast-approaching release. Enid whined, ready to burst.

The tongue abruptly released her.

Frustration flared, tangling with the need in her voice. “N-no…why—?”

Similarly breathless, Audra crawled forward. She was keeping her typical expression, but desperation still seeped through the cracks. Once their hips aligned, she stopped.

“Like hell am I passing up feeling you cum on mine,” she said huskily.

Looking down, Enid saw Audra’s clit; similarly augmented to a larger size and throbbing hard between her legs. The witch’s cunt was dripping, slick falling onto Enid’s body as she hovered above. Two deeply heated sets of eyes met for only a moment’s silence.

“Fuck me,” Enid breathed. “Fuck me…fuck me.”

Audra grinned and brought their swollen clits together. They moaned in near unison as she initially stilled, straining flesh twitching fervidly against each other. She began thrusting, slowly at first but gaining speed as their combined wetness eased the movement.

Enid’s hands landed on Audra’s thighs. She held on for dear life, her nails digging into muscle-taut skin. The pounding in the length (and it was still strange to apply that word) of her clit worked south, sending both of her holes twitching with pleasure. Her pussy was on fire and soaked the sheets beneath them. She cried out, any words incoherent aside from Audra’s name repeating on her tongue.

Audra was practically snarling, the sounds punching out of her with every forward thrust. She was truly bearing down. The full weight of her descended in deep grinds.

“Take it, pup. Take it,” she growled. “Let’s get off just humping together like this, huh? That’s all we need. We’re just a couple of horny beasts.”

Enid moaned, unstable from Audra’s rough thrusting. “More…more…more! Oh, gods, more!”

“Nothing—hah—nothing else to say that isn’t begging?” Audra asked, playfully proud. “What happened to that smart tongue of yours? Cum yourself stupid on that last one?”

Maybe. But did Enid care? Not in the slightest. She didn’t care that she had let things go this far. She didn’t care that Courtesan’s Touch had made a needy little fuck-toy out of her. Every fibre of her being was alight in ways it never had been before. She readily lost herself to every deep throb in her engorged clit and gushing cunt.

“Harder,” she groaned through grit teeth.

Audra gave a laugh that was aborted in part by a choked moan as she obliged and upped her pace. Their bodies all but thrashed together, clits sliding over one another in a tight, wet press. The thick, heady scent of their fucking was broken only by the occasional sweet whiff of the Touch; a reminder of the simple ointment that had reduced them to this.

Like a shot, Enid found herself cumming. Any movements she was adding to the clash of aroused flesh stilled as she shook and moaned. The ever-present pulsing of her clit reached its apex while Audra continued. But it only took a few more wild, uncoordinated thrusts for the witch to join her.

Enid felt her throbbing and watched as golden eyes rolled back under flickering lids. Contrary to the earlier feral noises and filthy words, Audra was oddly quiet in her release. She seemed to be holding her breath before letting out an audible, gravelly and shaking exhale as she came down from it. Her head remained lowered, hiding her face from Enid while she gathered herself.

With a purposeful inhale, she eventually straightened and looked down at the human pinned underneath her. The corners of her mouth perked.

“So…that meet your standards?” she said, a bead of sweat dripping from her temple and caressing her lower jaw.

When she didn’t receive an answer from a still-panting Enid right away, she moved to dismount. But she was stopped by two hands slapping down onto her thighs. She dropped back down, mild shock finding her face for the first time.

“As I said,” Enid said slowly, heat creeping into her face despite her demanding tone. “More.”

Audra flashed that beastly grin and bent forward to grab the jar.

“You should be wary of what you ask for, pup.”

End

Masterlist

#text #spicy #ash originals #terato #exophilia #f/f #monster love #monster lover #monster girlfriend #shark oc #oc:audra #oc:enid

133 notes · View notes

misslaevna · 1 year

Note

hey!! if it's not too much, do you think you could write chuuya x reader who's struggling with a bad home life? I've had a rough couple weeks with arguments from my mom and it would cheer me up a little, no pressure !! thank you :)

𝓐 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓪 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾

I hope your situation with your mom gets better soon, stay strong!

paring: Chuuya x reader genre: fluff cw: mentions of abuse summary: Your special night with Chuuya gets interrupted - however, it ends so much better than you expected. requesting and masterlist

‘God damn it.’ you sighed when you heard your phone ringing for the 5th time in a row already.

‘Just answer it’, shrugged Chuuya, ‘it’s alright.’

You slightly shook your head, ‘No way. I know exactly who’s calling and I wanna ignore it as long as I can.’ you muttered while you once again pressed ‘decline’, without even taking a look at your phone’s screen. ‘So, where were we?’

Chuuya smirked, pulling you closer by your waist while you snuggled closer to him in his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

‘Mhm, somewhere here seems just right.’ he murmured as both of you closed your eyes, leaving reality outside and focusing only on one another.

Chuuya’s soft lips finally met with yours, he was gently, yet firmly taking the lead, letting you completely melt in his arms. Your fingers caressed his neck; you knew how much he loves when you do anything to his - very sensitive - neck.

The small shiver that you sent down on Chuuya’s spine resulted in him gently biting your bottom lip, encouraging you to open your mouth a little more. Chuuya deepened the kiss by slipping his tongue into your mouth, deepening the already passionate makeout session you two had going on.

Meanwhile his tongue was busy exploring every inch of your mouth, Chuuya’s hand was slowly but steadily sliding slightly down from your waist, ready to pull you even closer on him…

… and just like that, your phone started ringing again.

You angrily growled, breaking the kiss and suddenly getting up from Chuuya’s lap to get your phone and put an end to this.

Instead of answering, you once again declined, but you didn’t leave it at that: your fingers hastily jumped on the screen as you typed away all your pent up frustration.

Chuuya was examining you in perplexity: the man was sure that something was up, what he wasn’t sure about if he should ask - and how he should ask. He was surprised (and more than a little disappointed that your makeout session got interrupted) to see you so infuriated, especially over phone calls that you didn’t even answer. He didn’t want to see you upset at all, he wanted to see your eyes sparkle and your beautiful smile on your face, but instead now you were angrily sitting beside him, hunching over your phone and wrinkling your forehead over your phone screen.

When you finally stopped typing and threw the phone on the pillow next to you, only then Chuuya dared to ask what’s happened.

‘Care to tell me who you probably sent the angriest text on Earth ever?’

You sighed; a slight lump formed in your throat, as it always does when you venture into uncomfortable, yet unavoidable topics.

‘My mother.’ you shrugged. ‘There’s a reason why I don’t talk much about her.’

‘I figured.’ said Chuuya, sliding closer to you and putting his arm around you. You leaned onto his shoulder, making yourself comfortable. ‘She that bad?’

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a second - letting an alien feeling soak you in. For some reason, you expected yourself to be at a loss for words, that the lump in your throat will eventually prevent you from talking; but in that moment, your head on Chuuya’s shoulder, his hand supportively caressing your back and his soothing scent in your nose made the words flow so much easier.

‘She’s abusive.’ - that’s all you planned to say. That she’s a monster and makes your life miserable, and that’s it. You weren’t planning on saying a lot, or to even talk about her in general today - but life clearly had other plans.

‘She’s a mother that no daughter deserves.’ you started in a melancholic tone. ‘The damage she inflicted upon me can never be fully repaired and to this day I can feel the aftermath of her destruction within my soul. I feel her creeping up on me sometimes when I look in the mirror, sometimes when a certain scent hits me on the street, at times when I try to…’ you sighed, ‘to open up about stuff. She poisoned me.’

Chuuya’s heart sank listening to you talk about the relationship you had with your mother. He pressed a kiss on your forehead, caressing your cheek.

‘... and the reason you so eagerly joined the Mafia.’

You softly nodded. ‘You catch on fast. I need the money to get away from her and cut all ties as soon as possible.’

Chuuya softly chuckled, pressing another kiss on your head.

‘What?’, you asked, raising your head to look into his ocean blue eyes.

‘Nothing. You wanting to get away from her just makes tonight even more perfect.’

You raised your eyebrows, ‘Is that so?’

You knew you were already in for a surprise when you came over in the first place: after all, it was the anniversary of your first date. Earlier that morning, Chuuya already texted you that he has something planned and if you can come over to his place - you were expecting a little, cozy date night, wine, flowers, atmospheric music, maybe dinner you two cook together, but you were starting to suspect that there might be something else. You have received many gifts from Chuuya before, but you know that he knows very well your love language is time spent together - did he decide to buy something for you again?

‘Well,’he said, hesitating. ‘Ah, screw it. Okay, gimme a sec’, he said before he hastily got up from the couch and hurried into the bedroom, leaving you alone wondering what he could possibly be up for?

When Chuuya disappeared to the bedroom, you heard a drawer open and he rummaging through it - what could he be looking for?

Not like you had a lot of time to wonder, though - after 30 seconds or so, he was once again back in the living room, holding a little gift box in his hand. He sat back next to you, taking your hand into his free one.

For a second, he fixated his eyes on the small box, then he looked into your eyes. ‘Baby, on this day a year ago, you made me feel like the luckiest man in the whole world when you gave me the chance to take you out. With my whole heart, y/n, I love you and I will always love you until the end. You’re so fucking special to me I can’t even begin to describe it, but one thing I know for sure - I want you in my life, and I want you here. Constantly.’

Tears started to fill your eyes when Chuuya handed you the little box. ‘Open it.’

You carefully took off the silky ribbon and lifted the top up, and when you saw the key inside, your eyes widened.

‘Will you move in with me here baby?’ Chuuya asked nervously.

A huge smile appeared on your face as you wiped a tear away from your eye. You carefully placed the key beside you before you jumped Chuuya, who, from the impact, was now laying on his back instead of sitting - with you on top of him.

‘Yes.’, you said, pressing a kiss onto his lips. ‘Yes. A hundred times yes.’ you muttered each word in between a kiss that you pressed either on his lips or on his cheek - wherever you could, you kissed Chuuya, who wrapped his hands around your back and pulled you into a warm, tight hug.

‘I’m happy to hear. This house is only a home with you in it.’ He whispered, snuggling into your shoulder.

‘You are my home, y/n.’ he whispered.

‘And you are mine, Chuuya. I love you so much.’ you whispered back, laying your head onto his chest.

You both let a certain comfortable silence fall between you two, only focusing on each other’s calming presence - Chuuya’s steady heartbeat and calm breathing, his hands softly caressing you.

That night, your phone wasn’t ringing anymore. You were finally home - and you felt more home than ever.

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

And that's it, hope you all enjoyed it! ♡

For more fluff Chuuya content, click here!

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs chuuya x reader #chuuya fanfic #bsd chuuya fic #bungou stray dogs fanfiction

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eiirisworkshop · 7 months

Text

Shorn

An Old Guard ficlet Available to read on Ao3 here, or as an author-read podfic here.

Joe finished drying his hair, hung up his towel, threw on some clothes that he was pretty sure were technically his—either way they fit, which was the important part—then he went downstairs to where the rest of his family was gathered. Nicky and Nile were both at the table—Nile with her tongue caught between her teeth, sketchbook open in front of her, Nicky frowning intensely at a book half his age, lips moving silently as he read. Booker was sprawled on the couch, feet up on the armrest, laptop on his chest. Andy and Quynh were laying on the floor, working their way through the biggest book of word puzzles they'd been able to find.

He came to peer over Nicky's shoulder, lay one hand on his back, also frowned at the book—fucking Russian cursive—then bent to kiss his cheek. Joe felt the moment Nicky realized the difference—something like a flinch, then his hand coming up quickly to caress Joe's cheek as he turned, smiling, to press their mouths together. He pulled away just enough to look at Joe, clear eyes bright with the excitement of surprise, and brushed his thumb over Joe's cheekbone. “You shaved.”

“I did,” Joe confirmed, chuckling as Nicky took the opportunity to press kisses along his jaw.

Everyone else in the room had looked up at them. Andy wolf whistled. Nile let her pencil roll to the center spine of her book, and shoved back from the table, shaking her head. “Nope, no way, that's not Joe.”

“Mm, I promise it is,” Nicky said between kisses. Joe rolled his eyes.

“I don't believe you.” Nile got up from her chair. “There is no way.” She came around the table.

Nicky planted one more smooch against his smooth cheek, “Beautiful, isn't he?” then released him and gave him a little shove towards Nile, who immediately caught his face in both her hands and shmushed it like an overly affectionate aunt might do to a small child.

“So cute!” she cooed, which may or may not have been in agreement with Nicky, and continued to shmush his face, rocking her hands back and forth.

“Allahuma Alhemna Assabr,” Joe said to the ceiling—at least, he tried to. It was hard to talk with his face being kneaded like bread. Nicky wasn't even trying not to laugh at his predicament.

“Really though, oh my goodness.” Nile let go of him for a moment then started rubbing his cheek again—just one, though. “How old does your passport say you are?”

“Uh, fifty-five.” Head bobbing slightly as he was petted, Joe started to chuckle.

“No one would believe that!” She stepped back and crossed her arms. “Book, what were you thinking?”

“I made that one a while ago,” Booker said with a shrug. He'd sat up and was grinning behind his hand.

“When?” Nile asked. “The 80s? Joe, how old are, were you when—” She waved a hand vaguely between him and Nicky.

“I killed him the first time?” Nicky finished for her. “Thirty-three.”

“No.” Nile shook her head seriously and looked at Joe. “You're seventeen. You've been seventeen for a while.”

“I understood that reference!” Booker said brightly.

Nile blinked a couple times and pivoted towards the couch. “Hang on, you've seen Twilight and The Avengers?”

“Mhm.” Booker levered himself off the couch and stepped towards the table. “I'm French, I need all the escapist coping mechanisms I can find, and in hindsight I should have punched Jean-Luc Godard in his stupid fucking face when I had a chance.” Grinning, he noogied Joe's cheek playfully. “And you never get to say again that I overreacted the first time I saw you beardless.”

“Quit that.” Joe shoved Bookers hand away. “Well, I'm not shaving again for a century.”

“Nah, don't do that.” Andy got up from the floor, stretched, and came over to take her turn groping Joe's face. “If you do, you'll just get the same response.” She kissed his cheek, then patted the other. “Shave frequently, desensitize her.”

Joe wrinkled his nose and hummed noncommittally.

Stonefaced, Nicky put a hand on on Andy's shoulder. “He would never break my heart like that.”

“You'd forgive him,” Quynh said with utmost confidence from the floor.

“I've murdered him over less,” Nicky said darkly.

Joe shrugged. “Not recently.” He smiled as Nicky kissed his cheek again, returned the kiss, then looked to Quynh. “You're the only one who hasn't felt up my face.”

“I'm the only one with any boundaries left.” She rose gracefully from the floor, smiled wickedly, and skipped over to nuzzle her face against his.

“What boundaries?” Joe laughed, nuzzling back.

“So I'm the only one who gets shoved off?” Booker asked indignantly.

“You're the only one who did something that hurts!” Joe reached out to scrub his own knuckles over Booker's cheekbone.

“Aie,” Booker flinched away, “okay, okay.”

#eiiri made this #fanfiction #podfic #the old guard #the old guard fic

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stiffyck · 1 year

Note

okay so i have not written fanfiction in YEARS but your uncomfy post about pearl stumbling upon scar could not leave my brain and i just had to write this i don't know what came over me

(fair warning - this is 850+ words, and it's basically just me braindumping about the same scenario you just wrote about) -> tw cannibalism, gore (?)

Of course there’s always the nervous feeling about being the new person on the server. The hermits have all known each other for years and knew things about one another that you don’t just learn over a day to say the least. Despite that, Pearl did find comfort in having her brother by her side and his closest friends, who she’s met through various build swap events.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise that she settled down in Boatem in the end. They all got along really well and it’s been an exciting couple of months spending her time on terraforming and building, crazy Boatem meetings, flipping everyone's animals upside down, stealing Bdubs’ clocks and most importantly; just having fun.

It's an awfully quiet day in Boatem. Everyone’s been busy with their own projects lately, and Pearl was, quite frankly, bored. She wasn't in the mood however to fly across the server to bug Keralis or Bdubs, so she was currently just walking along Grains train.

It happened when she was casually snooping in Grians chests, wanting to see what he sold so that she could come up with some ideas of new items to sell in her own shop without having to compete with the biggest shop on the server. She heard a scream. A really painfully human scream.

It came from the Midnight Alley, which immediately put her on edge. As she worryingly made her way towards Grians base, she almost convinced herself that she’d imagined the scream. For all she knew, it could’ve just been the wind.. Right?

That is, until she heard it again. The anguished scream made her gut wrench, and with a slight hesitation in her rushing steps, she made it into the alley. The scream was horrible in a sense that Pearl wasn’t even sure she wanted to know what could cause such a sound.

As she made her way closer, more painful noises could be heard further down the street, and it wasn’t until she heard a familiar grunt that she froze on her spot. It couldn't be..? Pearl rushed down the alley, a new fear growing in her stomach, making her panic in a way she very rarely does.

The next time she hears another scream, she whips her head to the left to meet the sound, and in her hurry, she almost misses the small, dark, and slightly eerie alley radiating out from the corner of the building she just ran past.

Without thinking, she makes her way down the new alley, chills running down her spine and adrenaline pumping in her ears. She comes to a stop in front of a red door, and with a shaking hand, she turns the handle. With being so close to the source of the screams, new alarming noises reached her ears.

A mucilaginous munching sound could be heard faintly in the background as Pearl made her way down the stairs. She’s holding her breath as she gets closer and closer to the sounds, only to let out a strangled gasp at what she sees at the end of the stairs.

It was Grian. It’s her own brother. With his eyes squeezed together, his nose wrinkled, and with lowered eyebrows, he lets out another painful grunt. He’s laying on a bed, covered in fluids she didn't even want to comprehend, with another person hunched over him.

She almost stormed in, ready to do whatever it took to free Grian from the situation, until she realized who it was. Scar. It was Scar. Her neighbor. The person she's spent several Boatem sleepovers with. The person that always let her come pet his cat Jellie whenever everything got just a tiny bit too overwhelming.

It was Scar. The one that always had a way with his words that made it impossible for anyone to decline whatever deal he was coming up with. The one who always went the extra mile to help anyone in need, whether it was terraforming tips or silly shenanigans.

It was Scar. one of Grian’s best friends. A person she’s known for years after meeting him during a build swap game. A person she looked up to as a builder and terraformer. A person that always made her smile. A person she could trust..?

With Pearl being too shocked to interrupt, Grian suddenly dies. Scar gets up from his hunched-over position, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as Grian respawns again.

"You good now?" Grian asks with a slightly annoyed huff.

"Yeah! Thank you so much; that was delicious." Scar replied with a grin on his face.

Grian let out a giggle at that, continuing the conversation with Scar, not noticing Pearl standing frozen halfway through the doorway in disbelief.

The hermits have all known each other for years and knew things about one another that you don’t just learn over a day to say the least. Despite that, Pearl couldn’t help but feel like a cannibal being a member of the server might’ve been one of the things she should’ve been told on the first day.

AHFJFJDKAOAO YOOOOO THIS IS SO GOOD WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! OH MY GOD

#asks #stiff talk #IM GOING INSANE OVER THIS HOLY SHIT #tw cannibalism #tw gore #gtsw #goodtimeswithscar #grian #pearlescentmoon #hermitcraft #EVERYONE LOOK

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stingslikeabee · 2 years

Note

who did this to you ? from kiryu!

send “who did this to you?” for the sender to find the receiver injured and demand to know who did it . accepting

The hostess had been just outside the entrance to Club Shine, the neon lights offering enough illumination for her to check the bruises left around her neck using a compact mirror. Even if the color was now an angry red (doomed to shift into an upset purple later), it would be difficult to come up with a story to explain these marks to Melissa’s manager - at best, he would want the girl to go back home (and she really needed the money); at worst, she was looking at long hours at the station, giving a statement that would get nowhere.

A deep voice startled Melissa then - and she turned around, shutting the compact mirror by reflex and clearly still a little bit shaken with the incident that had resulted in the obvious signs of altercation on the woman’s skin. But upon seeing Kiryu, she relaxed - a sigh of relief left the girl’s lips and a small smile followed, a nice bow added at the ending in a show of manners before a customer.

“Kiryu-san, good evening,” the brunette said smoothly, straightening her spine up and using the free hand to iron out any wrinkles from the yellow dress she was using. Kiryu was no stranger - he was a regular of Rina’s, one of Club Shine’s most popular hostesses, but Melissa had sat with the tall, strong man on a few occasions before when Rina was busy or on a day off. The foreign hostess did not know much about Kiryu - but what she did know made him an interesting figure in her book.

There were rumors floating around about him being former yakuza - that in itself was a mystery for Melissa. She could swear those who joined were in for life, but of course the girl wouldn’t go around asking about people’s personal lives like that when she only had a couple of hours with him every now and then. Besides, that wasn’t what made her curious about him - Kiryu was no ordinary-looking guy, had a nice voice and was incredibly charming when visiting... Whatever the hell did he need a cabaret club for?

“A gaijin businessman,” Melissa replied at long last, addressing his real question with a soft grimace; the woman felt (and looked) embarrassed, lamenting she had fallen for such a classical trap, “I had a date before work, you know how these go. This client... Didn’t. He was under the impression that paying for my meals earned him additional privileges and... Well, maybe he confused me with a prostitute. Guys from abroad sometimes can’t really get the purpose of a place like Shine,” the hostess shrugged, aware that she had volunteered way too much intel, the type that not even her manager was aware of.

And that notion brought the girl back to reality, offering a stereotypical hostess smile to him and clasping her hands together at the front of her body. “But I’m okay, Kiryu-san! When things got out of hand, this really strangely dressed guy in a snakeskin jacket stepped in and... Well, I guess I won’t be seeing that client again. I just need to hide these bruises until they go away - a high collared dress will do fine.”

The girl approached Kiryu, taking his closest arm with a gentle grip and offering him her best smile - despite the scary incident with another man earlier on, Melissa clearly did not share the same fears with Kiryu Kazuma. “I appreciate your concern, Kiryu-san, but don’t let me spoil your night. You’re here for Rina-chan, aren’t you? She’s working tonight, let me take you to her as a thanks. Just... Please keep this to yourself, ne? No need to worry anyone else.”

#rotdream #v: Yakuza #who did this to you prompt #replied #I set this tentatively during Y1!#since he's still in Tokyo and I hc she worked at Shine #so I picked up the actual in-game hostess #to make them familiar with each other #(also yes that was a tiny Majima Everywhere tribute)

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arkhamcalamity · 1 year

Note

💭

very belated memory meme // Always Accepting (I just sometimes take forever bc i have to be in a mood to cry) @thewomanwholaughs

There's a satisfying sort of calm she finds at the finale of a hunt. Isadora Dent's cries of panic are sweeter than she ever imagined. By now, the older woman had no doubt noticed there was no way out. The house was already surrounded by flames. Their mesmerizing reds and oranges flicking up against the windows.

It had to be tonight. She could only hold this much power when the veil was so thin. Isadora's best efforts at wards for Samhain were not a match to actual magic. Mortals and their superstitions.

Amity walked through the hallway slowly, humming to herself. Though she was likely nearly unrecognizable. Her form shifting to a supernatural height, with flames in her hands and eyes. Her nails grew to a length of claws, and well, didn't they want a monster when they burned her?

"Ḯ̷͙̺͓̮S̵͕̳̋͌͛͂Ả̴͉D̵̯͉͇̣͂̊Ỏ̶̫̍͒R̶͚̦̱̐͌͝Ȃ̴̗̆"she called. It's hoarse, crackled screech she knows sends chills down people's spines.

You'd be surprised how many times she's found people hiding in their rooms. When she's more coherent, she wonders if maybe you never really grow out of the childhood instinct to go under your bed. Or in your closet. She's not surprised to find the older brunette in her room, looking as if she was going to try the window. Tsk, tsk, tsk. As if that was a way out.

It's something on the bed that catches the specter's attention so severely she freezes. A blanket. Not the larger one covering the entirety of the bed, no this is much smaller. Far too small. Something that a child would have. Oh, how time had a funny sense of humor. There's no nursery here, no child's room- no, she's got a feeling Isadora made a decision all too similar to the one she herself made in the woods with the dogs barking at her heels. Gave them up.

Gently, Amity picked up the green square and looked it over with one hand, the other shoving a blast at hot air to knock Isadora off her feet. Isadora whimpered, tears streaking down her slightly wrinkled face. She's a far cry now from the nineteen year old who watched smiling as she burned. Time is getting trickier now, but Amity thinks she must be in her late sixties.

"Please, Amity," Isadora begged, reaching out for the blanket. Amity clutched it harder, burning it up into dust before looking back harshly at the curled up woman. The time for begging was about forty years too late, and she intended to keep her promise made on the tree. That meant having to track down wherever Isadora had stashed her offspring to grow. They couldn't be that far. She can't picture Isadora being so unselfish as to not keep close.

Amity stalked foward the last couple of feet, cocking her head with a cruel smile. What's an assurance to herself, she's all too aware is going to be the worst, and last thing Isadora will hear.

"I'll f̷͎̃i̶̟̍n̴̳̚d̴̡͌ the̸͓̽m."

#thewomanwholaughs #;not the prettiest place (memories)

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leias-left-hair-bun-again · 2 years

Note

For the writing ask game: 13, 15, and 18 (:

ooh thank you grace!! <3 and sorry i’m getting to this late D:

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

ummm i’ll start with easy :D easy for me is soft family moments and people struggling with their sense of who they are. grief and sort of - how to say it - i hate to say ‘spiritual’ cause that doesn’t seem quite right, but that’s the closest descriptor i can think of. whatever the subject is of stuff like the one with fives comforting fox in his dreams and hevy visiting echo on lola sayu - that’s easy for me. i know i’m kind of losing the ‘subject matter’ and getting into ‘genre’ instead skjflkds but difficult is broken relationships and also anything action-packed. i struggle with action D: but broken relationships is both the difficult-est thing i can think of off the top of my head and also something i don’t like, so chances are it’ll always be difficult for me cause i don’t particularly want to practice writing it XD

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

i’m actually trying to make myself comfortable with marking up books for fun - i’ve always been scared to so much as bend the spine of a book and have obsessively taped and glued many a tiny tear in the cover a paperback XD but i’ve also always used a separate journal to take notes as i read, and after a failed hard drive that wiped away almost a decade of said journaling, i’ve decided to start putting those notes in the physical books themselves

that being said, i actually have read in the bath before! an epsom salt bath and a book and a cold glass of tonic water w/lemon is the height of luxury for me skfjkdlsf i....should go scrub my bathtub so i can do that, actually >.>

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

i was trying to find something non-angsty for this question, and i remembered - well, let me go ahead and expose myself by posting this passage from the fic i have neither updated nor rewritten as i have promised to do since december of 2020 D:

There are a couple of times where you have to ask for clarification on a point that Kal’s made almost entirely in his own language, and the Nulls are eager to help you out. They’re also sympathetic when you nearly choke on one of the small chilis Kal has left in the stew - how you’re ever going to handle it at it’s usual intensity, you really don’t know - and under pretense of passing you water, Mereel takes the opportunity to put his warm little face right next to your ear and whisper:

“I think tingilaar is awfully spicy, too.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” you whisper back, ignoring Kal’s inquiring look.

After that, the two of you spend the rest of dinner send each other conspiratorial glances over the your bowls of stew. Whenever Kal’s back is turned you take the opportunity to stick your tongue out and fan it, and you’ve quickly got not only Mereel but also Prudii and A’den giggling quietly every time you do so. When Jaing starts joining in, Kal finally pauses in the middle of explaining something to Kom’rk and turns to you in exasperation.

“Someone want to tell me what’s going on here?”

“Sorry, Kal,” you say contritely. “This is so good, but it’s just so hot. I think my tongue’s on fire.”

“No it’s not!” Mereel blurts out scornfully, and at the same time Prudii asks, “Is it really?”

“That’s not possible,” Ordo says, his forehead wrinkling. “Is it possible, Kal?”

“It’s not,” Mereel insists. “Stick it out again.”

You obligingly stick out your tongue and are immediately swarmed by the Nulls, all peering at it with great interest.

“It’s not burnt,” Ordo says with relief. “Just red.”

“Really red,” Kom’rk adds.

“I bet yours are, too,” you say.

“Ith mine ed?” A’den asks, sticking his own tongue out.

backstory-wise: i’d gone home for a couple weeks and while i was there, my mum decided to make a szechuan stir fry. she added the chili oil and the peppercorns but didn’t want any actual chilies in hers, so she left them out and let my dad and i put as many as we wanted on our own plates. she also hadn’t been able to find the regular chinese chilies (tien, or something?) and had gotten a different kind - i want to say birds-eye but we used to grow those in our backyard and i don’t remember them being nearly so hot as these were. my dad and i, who both like spicy stuff, sliced up a bunch of them - enough to have a healthy piece of chili or two in every bite - and piled them on top of our food, blissfully unaware of what we were about do to ourselves. and then regretted our decision about three bites in. but we’re also both incredibly stubborn and refused to either pick some of the sliced chilies out or drink any milk to help with the pain, so we suffered through the meal in red-faced, sniffly silence while my mum shook her head at us over her own, chili-less plate (’:

i remember nearly taking the scene out just cause it felt silly and the fic was supposed to center around x reader romance stuff but i had so much fun with the children that i...kinda got distracted after that and started writing one-shots about kal and the nulls instead of continuing the fic XD it was a really helpful scene to try and pin down the characterizations for all the children, though. ordo was obvious enough, but the rest of them have to be reverse-engineered through their adult personalities of course and i remember spending absolutely ages switching names around for the dialogue tags until they seemed to match correctly

#i know that's not really an interesting passage or backstory sorry lksjklf i didn't want to go off the rails into angst mode though and #alas this was the only thing my brain would give me otherwise XD #writing asks #ask #grace tag 🌻

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yllowpages · 1 year

Text

❝ Did you have something to do with this? ❞

❝ No. ❞ And he’s sure. There was a pause before he said it, but not out of hesitation ; he was just taking it in. Photographs ( just a few years old ) . Bodies. All shot. All with a single slug to the head. It's all so ... normal ... all things considered. ( It would have been his sort of M-O back in the day. ) This … This would be something he wouldn’t forget — couldn’t ( he hasn't forgotten any of the others ) . Bucky’s nose wrinkles at the photographs a little bit, a small chill following his spine knowing that even if he didn't ... he could have. So he can’t blame Leon for asking — it makes sense ( both to ask and … be even the littlest bit suspicious, Bucky supposes ) . ❝ No, this wasn't me. ❞ But then his expression changes and his brows pull together. His eyes narrow at the photograph in Leon’s hand. ❝ But ... ❞ ( Pray tell ... )

❝ I know who he is. ❞ A gloved finger points to one of the bodies in the photo : Bucky recognizes him. ❝ Kuznetsov, ❞ he says, pensive. ❝ He was a scientist — some kind of ... biologist, I don't know. He worked for Lukin, spent years trying to recreate what's inside me. ❞ There's a certain level of disdain that he speaks those words with. ( Being strapped down, stabbed with needles, left there alone, to see if he might die ... ) ❝ He never could. So a couple years after ... ❞ Bucky gives this sort of knowing glance in Leon's direction ( he wasn't in it like the other was ... but he knows about Raccoon City ) , and continues, ❝ — He left Kronas. And I guess he thought working for bioterrorists was less of a dead end. ❞ And look where that got him, Bucky thinks ( feeling just the littlest bit petty ) .

@fortrauma

#fortrauma #interaction / bucky barnes.#verse. bucky barnes / resident evil.#me when i'm criminally vague yet again #i am so sorry

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misguidedasgardian · 3 years

Text

Ours I.

The one that was supposed to be the best day of your life turned into a nightmare as your new husband´s bosses decided you were too good for him

PART II

Chapter summary: The one that was supposed to be the best day of your life turned into a nightmare as your new husband bosses decided you were too good for Peter

Pairing: MobBoss!Steve Rogers x ItalianMobGrandaughter!FemReader x MobBoss! Bucky Barnes

Chapter Warnings: technically cheating and adultery, non-con, smut, virginity loss (so there´s a little blood), crying, threesome, reader is from Italian descent, everybody here is a mobster, age gap (reader is early twenties, Steve and Bucky late thirties), dark smut, little choking, oral sex (m and f receiving), a little breeding kink

+18 please. MINORS DNI

Word Count (Chapter): 4.4k

Notes: Oh myyyy

Everything was like a dream, your fiance's boss's home was decorated with white flowers, their ample backyard was beautifully decorated with tables, and flowers, and little lights. and a big spread of food and alcohol.

It was going to be a small affair, you did knew you didn't have money for anything else, but it didn't matter, you had your family with you, and your friends, and you could just feel the love in the air

Anyone could be nervous at an affair like this, a mafia wedding. Your fiancé was a protegé, initiating in one of the most important families in the US. You weren't a stranger to this world, you belong to it, you were born into it, your grandfather had inherited it to you

You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time to fix the flower crown in your head. You ran your hands down the skirt of your simple linen dress to eliminate the remaining wrinkles.

“You look beautiful sweetheart” cheered Aunt May. She was so nice to you, like your own aunt. Your parents were gone, your grandparents in Italy, so when you fell in love with Peter, she opened her arms and her house to you.

And four years later here you were, ready to marry Peter Parker, her nephew and the one you thought was the love of your life

“Thank May,” you muttered. Emotions getting the best of you and threatening to make you cry.

You walk down the petal aisle left for you alone, smiling at Peter waiting for you at the end of it in front of the priest. It was a short ceremony, and the cute exchange of your vows, and you were married, you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with Peter, his handsome face, his playful smile, those eyes that tell you that everything was going to be alright.

And soon all of your family and friends were over you to congratulate you, tight hugs, and double cheek kisses wouldn't let you even get close to your husband. And soon it was time for the newly wed couple to mingle with their guests.

Peter grabbed your hand and directed you to walk towards the most important group of the celebration, the heads of the family, that were standing a few feet away from everybody, apart from the center of the celebration

“I'm so glad you could make Sr” Peter said, his voice pitched by nervousness and admiration, you felt his hand getting clammy

“Of course Kid” the one called Steve said strongly, “Wouldn't miss it, you are part of the family” you smiled reassuringly to Peter, you knew it was important for him that his bosses attent, even if the party was being held in Tony´s backyard. He wanted to become someone in this world, and you were going to help him.

“Congratulations you two” James said, “You got yourself a cute one”

“You are kind Sr” you muttered, feeling your cheeks heat up

“And you should try her cooking” he said, excited

“Oh Peter, come on!” you giggled

“Ah, she cooks too” purred James, in a way that made your spine tingle

“Her grandparents are Italian” he said

“Ufff, pasta, my favorite” purred Steve. You grabbed tightly into Peter´s arm, this was becoming an awkward interaction. Both were handsome men, hair combed back, stubble decorating James´ jaw, and a thick beard framing Steve´s, broad shoulders, tight suits that let you glimpse at the thick muscles under them. They were desvastantingly handsome, and just the same amount of danger. You didn't like them, you didn't trust them either. Luckily, someone saved you both

“Darling, they want some pictures of the young couple!” aunt May chirped, reaching you both

“I would like one with you both” he said, looking at both godfathers

“Of course kid” said Bucky. Both men stand right next to you, separating you and Peter and sandwiched you in between them. You barely could draw a smile for the photographer, who took a picture of the four of you.

“Thank you” you said, and didn't even know why, “Peter, sweety we need to keep entertaining our guests”

“That's right” he said, still so jumpy and nervous, “Thank you Mr Rogers”

“You're most welcome kid” he said

And they both see you walking away from them, as Tony join them both

“See how good our puppy eats?” he asked

“She is a pretty little thing” Steve said, licking his lips

“We have been good to Peter, I think it's time we get something from him in return, right?” muttered James

“What are you both planning?” asked Peter´s boss

“C´mon Tony, why won't you let us loosen her up for dear Peter there?”

“Leave the girl alone” he muttered, “she is married to my godson now”

“If you let do this thing, we are giving you back the docks”

“Right, I did let him use my backyard for this little wedding, she deserves better anyways” he said as he was sipping his whiskey

“Peter we admire you” said Steve, seating behind his desk

“Yeah, marrying that cute girl, trying to make things right by her, putting a ring on her finger because it got serious” said Bucky, putting a hand on his trembling shoulder

“But we couldn't help but notice you still live with your aunt”

“Well” Peter got more nervous, “We are saving for a house, she doesn´t mind” he said quickly, “The houses near here are difficult to come across, it's a nice neighborhood, and we don't want to go far away from here”

“And we totally get it” continued Bucky, “So we are willing to help you get your life started with your little wife” he said

“Really?” oh poor Peter, so fucking naive

“Yes of course, we take care of our family” said Bucky, “But of course, we need some reassuring”

“What do you mean?” he asked

“Well, we need to know you are going to pay us back, for all the things we have done for you” Peter gulped, hard

“I will, anything you want, I mean, I'm serious about being a part of the family”

“Yes we know, we just want some proof of your commitment to us”

“Anything” he said firmly

“Oh Peter, you should have listened what we wanted first, but we like your loyalty”

He was shaking when he came back to the backyard to continue the party, and when he saw you his heart sank in his chest.

You were dancing and laughing, the last rays of the sun hitted your and made your body sparkle, the colours of your gorgeous flower crown looking more colourful than ever, that smile that melted his heart and molded into yours. You were an angel that fell from the skies and chose to love him, of all others

And he just betrayed you.

He turned around to see both his bosses, sipping whiskey and looking to the same place he was moments before

You

What did he done?

“Peter, I appreciate what Tony had done for us, but don't you think it's weird to spend the night here?” The mansion was beautiful, and you bet a night in a guest room would be better than any night at a hotel that you both could afford. But not getting an answer from your boyfriend… I mean, husband, concerned you, “Pete?” you called, as he made you stop in front of a door

“Well, listen” he said, “Steve and James are helping us get a house, for you and me, for us to get started”

“Really?” you asked, “That's great! but I´m a little concerned, you know you never finish paying back Pete” you said softly, “You know I don't care about stuff like that, we can stay at May´s, or my grandfather can help us” you said, “I don´t mind, we can have a little apartment for starters, we don't need a house, as long as I have you” you gave him a reassuring smile. And Peter looked at you with endless love, but also, terrible sadness

“You deserve more than that” he said, his voice strangled

“You know I don't care” you repeated, “We have each other” suddenly the door that you were in front of opened, showing Bucky

“Aren't you sweet?” he asked. You look at Peter in a silent question

“I'm sorry” he whispered to you

“What for?” you asked, confused, Bucky opened the door to show the inside of the room, a big bed in the middle, but what shocked you was to also find Steve there. You look back at Peter and he looked like he was going to start crying, “Peter?”

“You are the downpayment for that sweet house you are getting” Bucky said like it was nothing

“What?” you couldn´t understand, you didn't want to

“It's only one night” Peter said with an strangled voice

“What do you mean?” you cried, but just looking at both men, you realised what they meant, “We don't want the house!” you said hastily, “please, we don't want it” you grabbed onto Peter, not willing to let it go

“Darling don't be scared” Bucky walked towards you, but Peter hold you and wouldn't let you scape him, “Consider this as your wedding present”

“No” you cried, feeling your eyes burning with unshed tears, “Please”

“Is just one night sweetheart” he said softly

“I don't want the house, we don't want it” tears started falling from your eyes and you clinged into Peter, but Bucky came to you and sandwich you between them. Peter cradled your face in his hands, and looked into his eyes

“Just for tonight sweetheart” he said, you knew him and he was. You shook your head

“Peter please” you cried, “Don´t do this”

“He doesn't have a choice doll” Bucky sultry voice and his hand caressing your neck made you squirm, “It's time you pay us up for the nice wedding and the house” Bucky separated you from Peter and guided you through the door

“I'm sorry” you heard you husband whisper before he closed the door and left you alone with them both

“Please don´t” you cried, “I've never done this” you were saving yourself, for your husband, for Peter. This was supposed to be your wedding night, of the happiest day of your life in which you were bonding with your love forever

“You heard that Steve?” Bucky said, mockingly. Suddenly, the blond´s hands where all over you, and you whimpered when he grab you tighter against his chest, “She had been saving herself”

“For us” he purred, nibbling at your ear

“For my husband” you whined

“Are we ruining your wedding night sweetheart?”

“Yes” you accused

“I think we are making it better” Steve said softly

“You are such a pretty little thing, you deserve better than Peter” mocked Bucky, “Why settle with a lackey, when you can have the kings?”

Your cry wouldn't let you answer, as both men trapped you between them, caressing your arms, your body, all of it became overwhelming very soon, four hands on you made you dizzy, especially when two of them started pulling down the zipper of your dress

“No, please” you begged for the last time, but it fell into deaf ears, as Bucky, who was in front of you, grabbed you by your hips and kissed you.

He tasted like whiskey and habanos, and it made your head spin

Goosebumps peppered your skin when your dress fell to the floor, leaving only in a cute negligé that you had bought specially for today

“Doesn't she look gorgeous” their hungry gaze made you want to hide from them, but there was no way you could escape them

“Since it's her first time… Why don't we warm her up, uh Barnes?,” you shrieked when you felt Steve´s hot hand traveled down your body until it perched in your mound. You closed your eyes but that only made you feel the things more intensely, his fingers snaked between your folds, as his thumb pressed on your clit. You opened your mouth in a silent moan when you also felt Bucky´s wet mouth nibbling at the skin of your neck. Suddenly you stopped flowing as you felt your orgams building in your belly. Your breath hitched in your throat as you cum on Steve´s sound, small moans leaving your lips

“Oh that's it sweetheart” purred Steve

“I love those cute sounds you make” whispered Bucky against a sweet spot in your neck that made you squirm again

Only a little fingering and you were already sensitive, you feel your legs shake under you, specially when their hands left you to start undressing themselves

Without already shirt on, Buck grabbed you and pushed you to stand on the foot of the bed. He grabbed the hem of your silk negligé and made you take it out over your head, and you were naked in front of them

“Fuck you are delicious” his hands trailed down your body, leaving a trail of fire in your skin

Suddenly you felt Steve´s naked body behind you, and you winced when you felt his hot, big cock grazing your ass. Between them both they made you lay on the bed. Soon Bucky was over you kissing you lazyly, as Steve got in his knees beside you, both only left with their boxers

“I bet idiot Peter never went down on you” James murmured against your skin, he left your mouth to leave wet kisses on your jaw, nek, and traveled down, kissing the skin in the middle of your breasts, sternum and belly, travelling south until he reached your intimacy

You were going to fight, to discuss, but the only thing that came out of your mouth was a moan, when you felt his tongue lapping at your clit, you tried to close your legs but he seemed to like it as he hug your thighs tightly as he pressed his mouth devouring your cunt.

You whined and moaned, not wanting to admit you liked what he was doing to you and that you were enjoying it. Before you knew it, as his tongue penetrated your entrance, you cummed on his face, you coated his mouth and chin with your juices as your pussy became impossibly slick.

“Apparently he never did” he said, answering his own question, smiling widely as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand

“You go first Barnes” offered Steve

“I'm thicker than you Steve” he said, worried, looking at your tired form, spend in the bed, with your open legs, your glistening pussy in display for him

“She better get used to it now” he said, smiling, as he teased your lips with the tip of his cock. you opened your mouth, already tired of fighting

“Wait” called Bucky, grabbing his huge cock to prod at your entrance, “I want to see her while I rip her open” he said with an evil smile that made you wince

“Wait!” you cried, but he didn't listen as he entered your steadily but slowly, he split you open without consideration, and bitter tears left your eyes when you felt that burn, he ripped you open and your slick didn't do much, he was too thick, too big. You closed your eyes when you saw those darkened eyes.

“Oh fuck!” he cursed, “You are strangling me doll,” you opened your eyes to look at him, he had his eyes closed as one hand was grabbing your hip, and the other traveled to cage your thoroat, “Fuck she is so tight Steve.” You whined, when he abandoned your walls only to enter you again. He set up a sloppy pace, as you were so tight around him he didn't seem to focus, desperate to feel you gripping him so hard. The burn inside of you passed, so leave a fullness, it still hurt to receive his thick length, but still you felt a warmth, as a knot started to form inside of you, signaling your impending orgasm

“You are being such a good girl” he leaned in and kissed you, to sit on his heels, dragging you with him. You realised soon it was to leave space for Steve, who was pumping his cock, dangerously close to your head. He leaned in and teased your closed lips with his tip. Bucky still grabbing you by the neck made you rub your face against him.

“Open up sweetheart,” Steve teased. You didn't want to, but you did in a silent whine when Bucky pinched your clit

“Fucking obey” he demanded, and Steve took advantage and sank himself into your mouth

Your gag reflex kicked in and you gagged around him but he didn't care, he even seem to like it since he went deeper into your mouth, making you take him until his balls were hitting your chin

“Her mouth is heavenly” grunted Steve as he fucked your face

“Fuck Steve, so is her pussy, I´m gonna cum” Steve smiled wickedly, “I want to cum inside her”

“Do it,” he demanded. You tried to shake your head, scared, but they only laughed. Steve took himself out of your mouth when you felt him tightening

“Please don´t” you begged, you didn't want him finishing in you, you didn't want the possibility of him impregnating you

“Wouldn't that be a great wedding present sweetheart?” Steve teased, with his finger trying to clean the slippery mess around your mouth and in your chin, “A little mob baby?”

“No,” you cried. But it meant anything, as Bucky grabbed your hips tightly as he stood still inside you as deep as he could go. You felt his cum filling you up from the inside, and you cried harder when he grunted, and took himself off of you. You saw his softening cock tainted with your blood, and with cum

Bucky went to the bathroom to clean himself from your blood while Steve took his turn with you, he grabbed you by your hips and handled you in a way where your ass was in the air, and your legs buckled under you. He grabbed you tight, and you were sure he was leaving dark marks as you felt the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance. You focused on your breathing to numb the pain, but you still felt the burning sensation when he split you open

“Ah shit” he growled, “You are so fucking tight sweetheart” he moaned, he did´t stop going in until you felt his lenghty cock prod at your cervix. You squirmed under him, uncomfortable, but that only let him go deeper into you, “Oh that's it” he took himself out until only the tip ws inside you, to thrust into you again. You moaned painfully as he started a steady rhythm, pounding into you slowly but hardly. You heard him grunt and moan, and even if the pain was replaced by pleasure, you bit your own lips to not moan.

“Steve” you called, not sure if you wanted him to stop, or keep going, but he took it as he spanked you softly

“That's it, you little mob whore,” you whined, feeling embarrassed, “You're ours now, and everytime you see us you will remember this, and every time you look at your first born baby” he kept pounding into you, making the knot inside of you snap. You cummed hard around his cock, and he grunted, “See?” he asked, “You liked it” he kept fuckin you chasing his own orgasm. And that didn't take long. He cummed inside you, and he stilled with the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.

He left you there, you winced when he took himself off of you, and when you felt his cum dripping off of you down your thighs, you couldn't help but fall into the bed in a fetal position. Your abused pussy burned, and you really wanted to fall into a deep sleep and wake up everywhere but here. Bucky came out of the bathroom and chuckled when he saw you.

“Fuck she is so soft, and tight” moaned Steve, looking at you like you were a masterpice he just made. It took the last strength you had to move again. you wanted to get out, you sat on the edge of the bed, and sobbed when you saw the red stain from when Bucky took you. You looked for your negligé almost desperately. But you stopped when you saw it in Steve´s hands

“You are not going anywhere” he said softly, and you sobbed a little more

“I'm ready to go again doll” said Bucky, just when you thought they were done with you, and you could finally go. He laughed when he saw your terrified face, “See what you provoque?” he asked, grabbing his cock in a dirty manner that made you wince, “Now I want you bouncing on it” he sat on the edge of the bed next to you, and he grabbed you by your hips and made you sit on his lap. He lifted you like you weighed nothing, and you whined when you felt his tip opening you up again. Even if they had you so many times already, it still burned when he split you open

“Oh that's it” he growled, but when you didn't move, he spanked you so hard you felt your skin burn. with your back stuck to his chest, you accommodate your legs to help you bounce on his dick, “That's a good girl,” You swallowed your cries because you knew Steve was watching you carefully, so you closed your eyes and tried to be anywhere else but here.

“I don't know Steve” said Bucky nonchalantly, as he kept making you bounce on his cock, “I don't want to let her go, she is so sweet” he purred, grabbing you by the neck, making you stop while his cock was lodged deep inside you

“Yeah me neither” he said caressing your tear stained cheek, “We might have to call some judges to annulled her marriage though, I don't want anything attached to our little doll” you shook your head

“No please” you whined, “I did it, It's over, please let me go”

“Oh honey, it´s far from over” said Bucky, the hand caging your throat squeezed a little tighter, “And unless you want to be a widow instead, you are just going to stay here and look pretty, waiting for us at home and warming our cocks” more tears fell from your eyes, and a sob strangled your throat

You woke up alone, and that relieved you, but as soon as you moved you remembered everything that happened last night, you were sore, your abused pussy was throbbing, and that brought more tears to your eyes. You grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly against you, as you accommodated on your side. You didn't know how long you had alone, but leaving the room wasn't an option, the only clothing you had was your ruined wedding dress, you didn't know where Peter was

Peter

You weren't even sure you wanted to see him

He let his bosses take your virginity, defile you, mock you, disrespect you, humiliate you, rape you. You closed your eyes when tears fallen more freely

How was he going to be respected in the family if he couldn't even respect his wife? you wanted to laugh

He was a joke

In your nonno´s family this would have never happened.

You heard the door being opened and you closed your eyes tightly, not ready to face whatever was coming rough the door

“(Y/N)” ah your husband. You opened your reddened, swollen eyes to look at him. He looked like hell, like he didn't sleep a wink, he better not have. A shock ran through his body when he saw that red stain on the bed. He got on his knees at the side of the bed, in front of you, “I´m sorry” he whispered

“Why would you do this?” you asked, not only your body was broken, but your heart burn in your chest with betrayal

“I can't say no to them” he said, strangled, “I did it for us” he said, “To start our lives, to join the family” he said, hoping you'd understand, he never knew you understand this better than anyone

“I became your family” you said, “And family is untouchable” tears fell from his eyes, “You respect your family” you continued, “You don´t let it get raped” you said again, “You are getting into the family, but they are never going to respect you” you said with disdain, “You can't even respect your wife” He gulped

“I won´t leave you alone in here, let's go, please, let's go home” he said

“I'm not going anywhere with you” you spitted out, “What else could they do to me?” you asked

“Please, let's go”

“It seems she doesn't want to go anywhere with you Pete” You now closed your eyes when you heard Steve walk into the room

“I´m sorry for everything, we are leaving” he said hastily, touching your arm to encourage you to get out of bed

“She is not going anywhere” said Steve, Peter looked at you searching for any sign that you wanted to go, wanted to fight, but he didn't find any. You just laid there, your sight unfocused at some point in the wall. He called your name, but he didn't get an answer

“If you leave now…” said Bucky, “You are in” He looked at you again, but you didn't move a muscle

“Come on Peter, we ruined her for you anyways” said Steve

“Leave” you said, you didn't even want to look at him, but it hurt nonetheless when he did, he left you there

“Don´t worry Sweetheart” purred Bucky, leaning down over you, caressing your face, “We are getting your marriage annulled. and you can stay here with us”

You could barely control your sobs, and your hands shake uncontrollably, still you were able to dial the number you burned into your memory since you could remember

The phone rang two times before someone picked up

“Sí?” that voice always brought you comfort

“Nonno?” you called, still crying, you heard a hitched breath

“What is it, nipotina?” he asked, his voice immediately tender

“I need your help, something went wrong” you cried, “It's a Cosa Nostra”

“I'm on my way Tesoro” you cut the line, while you sniffed

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sehunniepotwrites · 3 years

Text

if we were a movie | j.jh

for @nctsworld’s first writing challenge

SYNOPSIS. For someone who was always the understudy and never the lead, scoring this role was huge for you. All you had to do was pretend to be in love with your best friend. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the biggest deal because, for the past four years, you had been hiding your feelings for Jung Jaehyun.

If this were a movie, he would be your perfect match and the story would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

GENRE. childhood friends to lovers!au, college!au, drama school!au, slow burn, angst, humor, mutual pining, fluff (loosely based on the Filipino rom-com Must Be Love and If We Were a Movie by Hannah Montana) PAIRING. theatre major!Jaehyun x theatre major!reader WORD COUNT. 14+ k

WARNINGS. point of view switches from first (”I”) to second (”you”); self-doubt, insecurities, mutual pining, cursing, lots of references and direct quotes from musicals such as Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, Disney’s Newsies, Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Shrek the Musical, and Wicked (edited but i might’ve missed some mistakes; bare with me!)

There are moments where time flows as normal, where people carry on with their days as they usually do. Then, there are moments people experience in slow-motion, where the world just stops spinning and all the background noise just fades away. These are the moments people look forward to. They’re the breathtaking ones, the ones that capture your heart and soul. After those moments, people are never the same.

The first time I experienced something in slow motion was when I made my stage debut at a small talent show. There was thunderous applause after my performance and while my heart thumped against my chest, the world seemed to come to a stop. That’s when I knew my heart belonged to the stage or rather, the stage belonged to me.

Some of these slo-mo moments are the ones where people fall in love.

My father said that’s how he knew my mother was the one for him: he experienced it all at a slowed rate, everything fading into black and she was the only thing he saw. She was his brightest star and he was the one who reached for the sky to bring her down to Earth.

When I was younger, I always dreamed about my “falling in love” slow-mo moment. I pictured a grandiose event with large actions and sweet words. For it to actually happen at theatre camp during the initial dress rehearsal for Disney’s Beauty and the Beast J.R.— well, that was far from what I hoped for.

And yet, it was just as special as I thought it would be.

I was in my obnoxious fork costume, waiting for my best friend to leave the boy’s dressing room.

Jung Jaehyun had been my best friend since the beginning, otherwise known as my first year at theatre camp. Only ten years old at the time, we both were cast as two of the three blind mice in Shrek the Musical and had been inseparable ever since. Although we attended different middle schools, our friendship grew from our shared vocal and dance lessons as well as our summers at camp. You know how it is; those who end up in the ensemble together stay together.

Going over the dance moves in my head, I didn’t hear my friend’s voice calling my name. He gripped my shoulder, the action surprising me to the point where I lost my balance. I yelped and shut my eyes, expecting to fall onto the hard ground but a hand grabbing onto my wrist prevented my doom. With an arm around my waist, I barely missed the ground.

Slowly opening my eyes, I glanced up to see Jung Jaehyun looking down at me with a worried gaze. He was just a sixteen-year-old boy dressed as a spoon and yet, the world around us came to a halt. Gone were the other frantic theatre kids and the backstage messes. The couple playing Belle and the Beast was no longer sitting across from us, running through their lines. No hustle and bustle of the crew and the props masters.

It was just me dressed as a fork, falling down while my spoon for a best friend caught me in his arms.

“We make quite a pair, don’t we, Forky?” he chuckled lowly, hitting the top of his costume to mine. It was a ridiculous sight— a pair of oversized cutlery in a crowded dressing room.

A burning hot sensation crept its way up to my face as he gently pulled me up. “I guess we do.”

Since then, my life has never been the same. I was in love with my best friend, Jung Jaehyun. I fell for him when the world stopped spinning beneath my feet while his world, unfortunately, kept on turning.

I remember each and every slowed-down moment in life —the good, the bad, and the absolute worst. I never thought a bad slo-mo moment existed, I simply didn’t think it was possible.

I was young and naive then and I was so incredibly wrong.

The moment that hurt me most took place in my senior year of high school. The final callbacks for our community’s production of Disney’s Newsies were in order. The role of Jack Kelly, the headstrong and flirty newsboy, was easily given to the ever-so-charming Jung Jaehyun. He was not only my best friend at the time but he was the it-boy of our small theatre. People were either in love with him or wanted to be him— his talent matched his insane looks. His kind personality made him all the more lovable.

Jaehyun had his two fatal flaws, though. Everyone knew them but still saw him in such a bright light.

One: the boy was extremely clumsy. Jaehyun was often called “magic hands,” constantly ruining his props. It was a running gag in the theatre but the props committee never minded; one smile was all it took for them to forgive him and his cursed hands.

That was his first flaw. And his second? Jaehyun fell in love way too easily and way too fast.

How exactly did I find this out? Well, I was there to witness the scene that lifted his heart to the highest of levels while mine dropped straight to the ground.

I was in the running for the stubbornly intelligent female lead named Katherine Plumber. My opponent was the confident and radiant Son Wendy. She always played the lead in her high school productions but this was a community musical and I was determined to claim that part as my own.

I went first, entering the audition room with a smile with the script gripped tightly in my palm. Performing alongside my best friend was easy. The romantic scene was a piece of cake, not because the lines were a breeze. That wasn’t it at all. It wasn’t because I memorized the Newsies script as a child either. It was because, at that moment, Jung Jaehyun was in love with me as much as I was in love with him. It was a moment I wanted to cherish forever: the way he looked at me was something I had never experienced before. It was so full of emotion and passion, like he had me within his grasp and never wanted to let me go.

“You got this. I believe in you,” he whispered in my ear, squeezing my hand in support. His breath tickled my skin and sent shivers down my spine. The nerves were back, not because of the audition, but because of him.

“You’re just saying that because it’s the scene we’re about to act out, Jae,” I hissed. The sheet music for the duet, Something to Believe In, wrinkled in my free palm.

His warm, comforting hand pressed harder against my own. “No, it’s not that. If you need someone to believe in you, I’m right here. I’ve got you, Forky. Always.”

The director cleared his throat from his seat, his scrutinizing eyes watching us closely as we got into position, just like we rehearsed a thousand times. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I watched as Jaehyun took a deep breath to get into character. He closed his eyes, rolled his broad shoulders back, and then his lids snapped open. His brown-eyed gaze aimed straight at me, with a vulnerable expression taking over his features. He was no longer Jung Jaehyun— he was Jack Kelly, a scared newsboy who was in love with a newspaper company heiress.

The line came pouring out of his mouth with the utmost sincerity, the confusion and affection seeping through his words, “Just standing here tonight, looking at you, I’m scared tomorrow is gonna come and change everything.”

Jaehyun took a step forward towards me, an unsure smile curling on his lips. “If there was a way I could just grab hold of something to make time stop just so I could keep looking at you.”

His body stops right in front of mine, keeping a clear distance but enough to feel the passion radiating off of his words and actions. For once in my young life, my best friend looked at me with a different kind of love in his eyes and I returned it, my genuine feelings seeping through my words.

Biting my lip, I replied coyly, “You snuck up on me, Jack Kelly, I never even saw it coming.”

“For sure?” he stage-whispered. His upstage hand unexpectedly reached up to caress my cheek. The action was unrehearsed, almost catching me off guard. It was a different take on the scene. The characters were supposed to be shy, their thoughts wavering on their own feelings for each other and the impending strike that was to come the day after; yet, Jaehyun played Jack as someone certain of his feelings.

“For sure,” I answered back at the same volume, my hand cupping his own to follow along with his direction. It felt as if he was searching my soul for my thoughts and I could not let him in. The opening bars of the romantic duet echoed throughout the room and after taking a breath, I began to sing. Jaehyun joined in on the second verse and instantly, our voices blended together in a beautiful harmony, one that beat our Newsies karaoke sessions in his car.

The scene ended as quickly as it began. The director hummed before jotting notes down and whispering to his casting assistants for a few seconds. I thought they were the longest seconds of my life. Jaehyun nodded his head to reassure me. “You did well, Forky.”

“Of course I did, it’s me we’re talking about here,” I nudged him back. “I can do no wrong, Jae!”

“Thank you,” the director finally spoke, “you may go. Jaehyun, if you could escort her out and fetch Wendy for me?”

“Of course,” your friend nodded. The feeling of his large hand on my back slowly guided me out of the room. The spot he touched me burned but my cheeks were burning even more. Why was it that every little touch drove me to the brink of insanity?

“You’re so going to land this part,” I remember him saying as he squeezed my waist. My heart was beating erratically against my ribcage, the butterflies in my stomach threatening to fly their way up my throat.

“You think so?”

“Oh definitely,” Jaehyun stressed with a wink.

He said it too soon.

Because the minute he locked gazes with Son Wendy, I just knew he had found his leading lady.

“S-Son Wendy?” he stuttered as he caught sight of the pretty girl in the waiting room. Her hair was styled similarly to a young maiden from the turn of the century, perfectly curled and out of her face.

“Yes?” she smiled back.

It seemed like the words were caught in my best friend’s throat. Sneaking a glance at Jaehyun’s ears, they burned a bright red. “We’re, um, we’re ready for you.”

I watched as Jaehyun nervously offered his arm to her, his eyes never leaving her face. It was like he was her own personal spotlight, the way his eyes shone just for the girl in front of him. The boy was completely enamored and I was instantly in the shadows. The sweet smile that was reserved for me was directed towards another and it sparkled in a way it never did before.

The world around me moved incredibly slow as they passed me by. With everything frozen, all I saw was the gorgeous couple headed to the audition room with hushed exchanges. Jaehyun took his time heading to the private room to spend more time with the girl while Son Wendy steadily made her way into my friend’s fragile heart. My own heart clenched at the sight. It was breaking ever so slowly and I felt every little crack and tear.

Even with the role of the understudy, it was as if I never even had a chance at winning his heart over. If Wendy wasn’t present for one rehearsal, Jaehyun didn’t even see me— his own best friend since our ensemble days. He was way too deep into his “showmance.” It was like I never even existed. It wasn’t long before he called Wendy his girlfriend and then, I was invisible. Cast aside. Ignored.

Needless to say, my heart broke in slow-motion as Jaehyun’s pounded rapidly for a girl that took two parts I desperately ached for: Katherine Plumber and the girl who held Jaehyun’s heart.

But this was just the first time his heart was stolen by his opposite. The first of many.

The first two years of university passed me by like a summer breeze. Constantly busy with general education and introductory drama courses, I was constantly flitting around from building to building. My hands were usually occupied by my laptop, a blazing cup of caffeinated tea, and a worn out script while my mind was filled with jumbled up lines and the dramatic cries of an overwhelmed university student. I probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for Jaehyun and Xiao Dejun, another theatre major we had met during orientation, by my side.

Fast forward to my third year and the three of us were headed to the office of the theatre department. It was posting day for the spring musical— the day the cast list was revealed. This year’s musical spectacular was Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. The play itself was a modern classic and it was also my dream come true.

This day, just like any posting day of the drama department, was nerve-racking. Everyone was anxious to find out what parts they were given and how the fairytale would play out. The part of the brave and kind Ella was always on my list of roles I wanted to fill. As much as I thought I did well on my final callback, I didn’t want to set my hopes too high.

“Are you nervous?” Jaehyun asked while draping an arm over my shoulder. He playfully put all his weight onto his right side to throw me off balance.

“Nervous? Me? Why would I be nervous if I’m like 95% sure I’m going to get the understudy again?” I chuckled sarcastically. Bitterly. It happened every year, so why get my hopes up now?

“Yeah but—”

“No buts, I’ve accepted the title of the Wonderstudy! I think you should too, Jae,” I slapped his shoulder before quickly slipping out of his hold before linking arms with Dejun. My best friend let out a yelp, almost tripping over his own two feet as we continued down the hallway. “I’m mediocre at best.”

The Wonderstudy: it was the nickname the other students in the department gave me because I was always the understudy. I was never the star of the show. It said that I was good but not good enough.

Dejun leaned in and whispered, “You do know that you’re more than just that, right? You’re an actor. A phenomenal one. You weren’t accepted to this drama program by just being mediocre at best.”

I ignored my friend’s comment, eyes zoned in at the other end of the building. The crowd of usual theatre students crowded around the bulletin board, curious heads popping up and down trying to take a peek at the list. Some buzzed with excitement, happy they got a major part while others groaned in disappointment. You were most likely going to be with the later group.

Once the cluster of students caught sight of Jaehyun, they parted like the red sea to let him through. It wasn’t really necessary, though, everyone knew the it-boy of the drama department was cast as the role of the misguided prince, Topher.

The only question was: who was cast as his princess? Who was this year’s Ella?

I fought my way through the bunch with Dejun following behind me as our best friend was showered with congratulations. Jaehyun was all smiles, dimples prominent as he was lavished by the mass. Dejun made it to the list first. His finger dragged along the thin paper until he found his name. He cheered, pumping his fist up in joy. “I got the part I wanted! I’m Jean-Michel!”

Grinning at my friend, I sincerely congratulated him. He got the second lead: the feisty peasant looking for change. Turning again, his eyes grazed the list until Dejun found my name. His smile dropped ever so slightly and that was when I knew: I was beaten once again.

“What part did I get?”

“Gabrielle,” he answered. Ah, the outwardly abrasive but quietly empathetic sister. The second lead, love interest of Jean-Michel. At least I was playing Dejun’s opposite.

I took a step closer, wondering who took the part of the kind princess. Squinting at the small print, my eyes scanned the jumble of words until I saw it.

Ella……………………….Lee Naeun Ella u/s………………….Y/N

I scoffed. Forever the understudy. The Wonderstudy of the Theatre Department indeed.

The first rehearsal, otherwise known as the read-through, took a toll on me. It was usually a two to three hour long session, filled with loud chatter, crazy introductions, and a variety of crazy theatre games to break the ice. When the niceties ended, everyone took their seats in their plastic chairs that were arranged in a huge circle. Bae Joohyun, the head stage manager began reading the stage directions aloud as the table read began. The production’s director, Professor O’Hare, sat alongside Joohyun, jotting down notes and giving out commentary when needed.

Amongst the reading of lines were tiny whispers, the sound of highlighters and pencils marking the paper, and the simultaneous turning of pages. The music director, Professor Lau sat at the piano bench and sight-read the music to give the cast a taste of the songs. Being the first rehearsal, the few who knew of the songs sang along to the accompaniment with joyous smiles, myself and Dejun included.

When Professor Lau played the first romantic duet between the leads, all heads turned to Jaehyun and Naeun who sat side-by-side. With it being their first time together, the performance was far from perfect but it was still something. His lower tone blended nicely with her softer voice and the shy glances they exchanged made their duet quite a sight.

As Jaehyun and Naeun read the last lines for Act One, I noticed the way Jaehyun’s gaze kept flittering back to Naeun’s pretty face. The girl was focused on her lines, head down and hair blocking her gorgeous features, but he still kept looking at her and only her. I could imagine how the scene was playing out in his head, the world slowing down until Naeun was the only one moving. He was infatuated. Twitterpated.

And it hurt. It hurt more than reading the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet or listening to Elphaba’s desperate cry she lets out when she loses Fiyero. Call me dramatic but that was how I felt.

It wasn’t like I tried getting over him. It wasn’t like I tried dating other people before; I had many, many times but my mind always drifted back to my best friend. He was the boy with the richest brown eyes, the perfectly dimpled smile, and the lowest laugh that set my heart aflame. Without even knowing it, Jaehyun had this incredible hold on my broken heart and he would not let me out of his grip.

The green-eyed monster inside me resurfaced and I hated it. I absolutely hated it— why was I so pathetically in love with my best friend?

“Here we go again,” I said before dropping my head onto the table.

“You say that every time and you keep running back to him at the end of the day,” Dejun whispered before looking back down at his script. His hand continued to jet across the page, his highlighter marking his many lines.

Rolling up the script in my hand, I whacked his side. The action caused his hand to jerk the bright marker in another direction, striking a distorted line on his page. “Look what you did, twerp!” he hissed.

“Your fault, Eyebrows!”

“Stop calling me that, you fork!”

“Hey, only I can call her fork!” Jaehyun appeared out of nowhere, plopping alongside me. His voice snapped us out of our little argument, making us realize that the director called for a fifteen.

“That’s only because you’re a dumb spoon,” I stuck my tongue out at him. Jaehyun pretended to reach for it and I blew a raspberry at him to retaliate.

“You two idiots are my favorite cutlery set,” Dejun shook his head with a laugh. He was probably wondering why he stuck around us the majority of the time.

“Let off it, Dejun,” Jaehyun said with the roll of his brown orbs.

“Only if you let me be the knife to your set.”

“As if, dumbass,” I countered with a laugh.

“Okay but you guys, can we stop fighting for a sec and talk about how I got her number?” Jaehyun beamed, throwing his arms over both our shoulders. He pulled us closer to his body and the faint smell of his musky cologne hit my nose. I held back a sigh as it filled my senses. Oh, to be drowned in his scent.

“I got Naeun’s number!” he repeated excitedly, his strong arms shaking us. I held back my abrupt want to push him off. I wasn’t in a celebrating mood. My heart was too broken to care.

“Of course you did, when do you not get a girl’s number?” I answered a bit too bitterly. Raising a brow at him, I added, “Are we supposed to be surprised?”

“Listen,” Jaehyun countered, pulling back from me. “I don’t like that attitude, Forky.”

I scoffed, “Never stopped you from being my friend before, Jae.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer; he was too busy clutching his phone. His pretty brown eyes were fixed on Naeun’s contact page like it was the world’s greatest treasure. His eyes were sparkling in admiration before his gaze turned to the girl across the room. The look my best friend wore on his face was soft, the smile on his lips light. “I think she could be the one.”

Some thought him to be a player but I never thought of him that way. He might have had the looks of a heartbreaker but he had the purest heart of gold. The boy with the dimpled smile, porcelain skin, and cheeks as red as roses was a hopeless romantic to his very core. He was simply looking for his other half.

“I think she could be the one.” His words repeated in my head, his voice pestering me. My heart lurched at them despite hearing them each semester.

Jaehyun said this every year, with every girl. He said this when he crushed on Son Wendy, Kim Chungha, and so many more. His infatuations and crushes ended just as easily as they started. The boy was more than disappointed when the initial spark with each girl ended after a show’s run ended. When the musical closed, so did his feelings for each opposite.

I never got stage fright; I was usually the one who said what was on her mind without a moment’s hesitation. So why was I hesitating to tell him my feelings?

Why was I hesitating to say that the one Jaehyun could be looking for was standing right next to him?

Just another rehearsal at the auditorium.

Just another day watching my best friend fall for his leading lady.

Jaehyun and Naeun were standing in the middle of the stage, the ensemble surrounding them. He stood behind her, his hands gently placed on her waist while she leaned back into his touch. Naeun was wearing a fluffy tulle skirt, a mock-up of her ballgown. Park Sooyoung, the resident fashion major and lead costume designer, pushed her to wear it so she could get used to the estimated size of her dress. Even in a mere tank top and tulle skirt, Lee Naeun looked like a princess.

Professor Kwon, the choreographer of the production, stood at the end with a watchful eye. She counted them off, walking them through the routine while the rest of us practiced our steps off to the sidelines.

Once the two main characters got the hang of their steps, Professor Kwon motioned for Professor Lau to play the songs from the beginning. As much as I tried to focus on my own dance moves, my mind kept wandering back to Jaehyun.

Imagining him under the spotlight in a perfectly tailored suit, a crown sitting on his head, extending his arm out not to Naeun but to me. It was one of those movie moments where the characters and the audience watching fell in love.

If life was like a movie, things would be so much easier.

So lost in my thoughts, I missed a count and stepped on my partner’s foot. Muttering a quiet sorry to him, we continued on with the routine. As my partner swirled me around the dance floor, I drifted back into my daydream.

My utterly impossible daydream where I was the girl Jung Jaehyun was infatuated with. Although this play talked about impossible things happening everyday, I couldn’t imagine this ever happening.

The terrible thing about being a theatre major in university was being a theatre major with midterms. Not only did I have to deal with hours of my back hunched over a desk and scattered study materials, I had to spend half of my days in the school’s theatre rehearsing.

If I was not in class scribbling down last minute notes in notebooks, I was learning dance routines or running lines on and off stage alongside Dejun. The days were long and the nights were even longer. Sometimes, the cast fell asleep in the seats of the auditorium while rehearsals were going on. We were all losing sleep. Some of us were losing our sanity but hey, welcome to the theatre.

My schedule was filled to the brim and I wasn’t even the main character of the show. On top of that, I had to memorize the part of Ella. Not that it was really needed in the first place.

No one ever stepped down from a lead role while I was their backup. It just didn’t happen.

Despite the hectic lives of belonging to the theatre department, the musical was two months into production and everything was running smoothly. With a month and a left until opening night, everyone was off-book and the initial stage blocking was done. The costuming and makeup committee were finishing up their mock-up designs and the student orchestra sounded divine.

I saw more of Dejun than Jaehyun lately, my best friend being preoccupied with his new love interest before, during, and after rehearsals. I was cast aside once again.

Was it something out of the ordinary? No.

Did it still hurt? Yes.

Did I do anything about it? Absolutely not. I didn’t want to ruin his happiness. I rather suffer than see him as nothing but joyous, even if the happiness was temporary. The grin he wore when he was in love was too beautiful to rip away. Jaehyun shined like the light from the sun. I could never bring myself to do it.

It was week eight of rehearsals when I stepped out of my last midterm, my head absolutely empty after reading small text for over an hour. Reaching into my backpack’s front pocket, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly turned it on. My screen was flooded with missed calls and texts from Professor O’Hare, Joohyun, Jaehyun, and Dejun, the notification numbers reaching over a hundred total.

Something must have happened. Talk about a theatre emergency. Knowing our kind, they were probably being overdramatic.

Just as I was about to unlock my phone, a video call went through. It was Dejun. Rolling my eyes, I slid my finger across the screen to answer it. “Jeez, I know you love me but give a girl a break, Eyebrows!”

“God, you’re so conceited sometimes. Why didn’t you answer my calls?!” He shouted, face close to the phone. I winced at the volume, immediately lowering the level as I slipped on my wireless earbuds. “There are important matters to discuss here!”

“What happened this time? Did someone say Macbeth in the theatre again? You know I don’t believe in that shit,” I said sarcastically.

“Oh my god. This is not the time for jokes! Everyone’s been trying to reach you!” Xiaojun yelled once more. “Where are you?!”

“I just got out of my musical history midterm in Maple Hall. Heading to the theatre right now. Why?” I never received an answer; Dejun hung up the call. Giving my phone a weird look, I shoved it in my pocket before continuing on my way. A light push on my back prevented me from going too far.

“Twerp!” Xiao Dejun’s voice came from behind me, yanking me by the straps of my backpack. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. “Oh my god, we’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said in between heavy breaths.

Crossing my arms, I cocked a brow at him. “Why’s that?”

Dejun placed a hand on my shoulder for support. The words came flying out of his mouth, I almost couldn’t catch what he was saying. So much for being a theatre major.

“Speak clearly, Dejun. Enunciate, articulate, exaggerate, remember? We are thespians and thespians do not mumble!”

The exhausted boy ignored my theatricals. “Naeun didn’t land a switch leap right and she rolled her ankle during advanced ballet. She’s going to be out for at least three to four weeks,” my friend replied breathily, his words a lot clearer than before.

The news shocked me to the core, my feet suddenly planted to the ground. It sounded like he said Naeun was out of commission. “What?”

“She’s out for three to four weeks! I mean sucks for her, I wish her a speedy recovery but do you know what this means?”

The lack of response from me urged him to continue, “Sweetheart, she’s out. You’re in!”

Oh shit. I was in.

The part I had always dreamed of was mine. The lead role was finally mine.

I was now Ella and Jung Jaehyun was my Prince Topher.

Having an understudy step up to their role halfway through production was always something to get used to. It was a setback, a minor one, but still a setback. Just as Jaehyun finally settled into his role and built an unshakeable bond with Lee Naeun as his opposite, the accident happened. His potential girlfriend was now out of the show and off her feet in order to push for a speedy recovery.

The lovesick boy couldn’t even be there for her because his rehearsal times increased in order to get his best friend adjusted to your new role. There he was, leaning against the piano while waiting for you to arrive.

Professor Lau sat at the bench, flipping through his sheet music until he found the song he was looking for.

The door slammed open and you stumbled in. “Am I late? I’m sorry, I just heard the news.”

“No, not at all. You’re right on time,” the professor smiled at you. “The situation’s weird, I know but congratulations on getting Ella.”

“Thanks, Professor. That means a lot,” you grinned back.

Dropping your bag by the piano, you swiftly pulled out the script. You glanced at Jaehyun’s opened book for the page number before hastily flipping through the pages. Jaehyun nudged your side. “Hey, Forky.”

“Hey yourself,” you elbowed him back, biting your bottom lip.

“Congrats, bubs. You did it,” he pulled you into a side hug before ruffling your hair with pride. You had finally gotten a part you wanted. It was your time to shine. As your best friend for many years, Jaehyun had been waiting for the day you could show the crowds your full potential.

“Did I really do it or did your girlfriend just get injured? How is she, by the way?”

As much as you tried to play the overdramatic, conceited girl, you never believed in yourself but Jaehyun always did. You deserve the spotlight; your talent was out of this world and the masses were finally granted a chance to see you for what you were— a star.

“You did this. You were made for this part as much as she was,” Jaehyun reassured his best friend with a smile. He tapped your nose. “And she’s not my girlfriend but she’s doing alright. Just in a little bit of pain. I’m going to see her after we finish.”

“Give her some well wishes for me,” you answered. Jaehyun didn’t notice your smile dropping into a small frown.

“You ready to act like you’re in love with me?”

“I was born ready, you doof.” There was something weird in your voice when those words left your lips but Jaehyun didn’t have time to process it.

Professor Lau guided the students through a series of warm-ups before asking, “Shall we start with Do I Love You Because You’re Beautiful today? We’ll do a couple of run-throughs before Jaehyun teaches you the blocking.” His fingers played the beginning notes of the song, the light melody drifting to their ears.

Already off book at this point, Jaehyun closed his eyes and began to sing.

Do I love you because you’re beautiful? Or are you beautiful because I love you?

Am I making believe I see in you A girl too lovely to be really true?

Do I want you because you’re wonderful? Or are you wonderful because I want you?

Are you the sweet invention of a lover’s dream? Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?

When his eyes fluttered open, Jaehyun found himself facing you with a script in hand. Your face wore the softest look as you stared back at him. His breath almost caught in his throat at the gentle smile you wore. You played the part differently from Naeun and it was a refreshing sight to behold. You were playing a confused peasant but your eyes still sparkled with the gleam of a thousand suns.

There was a flush of heat that started from his cheeks and extended to his reddening ears. His heart was doing its best to break out of his ribcage and the star of the show wasn’t sure if his chest could keep it in for very much longer.

When singing with him, Naeun was a pretty princess.

But when he sang with you, the girl in front of him? Jaehyun thought you were absolutely breathtaking.

Two hours later, we were finally free of rehearsals. My first rehearsal as Ella. My throat was a bit parched from all the singing and projecting I was doing but I felt lighter than air. Singing with Jaehyun made me feel lighter than air. I was weightless, nothing could hold me down.

“Forky, you’re really good,” he said to me as we walked to our cars. I tried to fight the sudden heat making its way to my face. Lately, compliments from him were hard to come by.

It was already late when O’Hare and Lau finally let us out, the moon sitting high in the sky. The night breeze crept its way into my thin jacket, causing me to hug myself to retain some warmth. Noticing my struggle with the cold, Jaehyun quickly draped his jacket over my shoulders. I was immediately hit with his familiar scent, it was almost overwhelming. I should be used to this, his action of sharing his clothes with me was nothing new but I was weak. It affected me every single time. I guess I was that head over heels for him.

Head over glass heels, one could even say.

“You’ve seen me in action before and I mean, I was chosen to be the understudy for a reason,” I gave him a shrug.

“Yeah but I’ve never seen you act and sing like that. Just...wow.” Stealing a glance at him, Jaehyun almost looked enamored with me. He was giving me a look that was usually reserved for someone else. I felt my heartbeat pick up in my chest and flutters in my stomach.

“Stop that,” I blushed, pinching his skin through the thin material of his long-sleeved shirt. A satisfying buzz ran through my body. Was he really looking at me like that? I was probably reading too much into it.

“No, but it seemed so real. Like you weren’t pretending.”

“That’s because I wasn’t,” I whispered under my breath as we arrived at our cars.

“Hmm, you say something?” Jaehyun asked, leaning closer to hear me.

Shaking my feelings away, I ignored the dull ache in my chest and acted through the tears I was desperately holding in. I wrinkled my nose at him playfully, secretly pushing the pain down my throat. “You really don’t listen to a word I say, do you, Jae? I said, I’ll see you later.”

“See ya, Forky! Get home safely!”

Scoffing to myself, I realized how much of a great actor I was. I deserved an Oscar or a Tony for the scenes I played out, the ones where I pretended to be okay when I was far from it.

What award do you ask? Best Actress in a Supporting Role— the best friend to Jung Jaehyun but never the love of his life.

Wardrobe fittings for productions were always an exciting day for the whole cast and crew. It was one step closer to putting on a show. Jaehyun was already dressed in one of his many costumes, a white suit with golden trimmings. It fit him for the most part, only tiny adjustments were needed. Members of the wardrobe department quickly pinned his neatly pressed jacket before taking it off his hands. Since he was the main character, Jaehyun was one of the first ones done. He was simply waiting for you to come out in your first dress— the white gown for the ball scene in Act One.

When you finally did all those minutes ago, Jaehyun swore his heart stopped.

Ten minutes ago, Jaehyun saw his best friend walk through the curtains. Your face was bare, hair still in that lazy style you always sported but your clothes. The comfy clothing you usually rehearsed in was gone and replaced by a beautiful ball gown. Despite the pins that scattered throughout the material to fit your form, it still appeared majestic. There you were, standing before him and the rest of the cast, and you were the loveliest you had ever been.

Ten minutes ago, you walked in and his head was reeling. Time slowed down as you tentatively made your way towards him. You did not meet his eyes but Jaehyun was dying to catch your gaze. He never wanted to let you out of his sight. The picture of his best friend in white was something he wanted to treasure and suddenly, the slowness around him stopped. The cast’s cheers and squeals disappeared. There was only you in that beautiful ball gown.

Was this the slow-motion moment you always talked about? The one you always dreamed about experiencing? Jaehyun could see why people thought it to be magic. It was almost like a movie, movie magic if you will.

Another look at you and then Jaehyun was in the future, watching you make her way down the aisle. A thin veil covered your face and he was so tempted to push it away from concealing your dazzling smile. His heart was fighting its way out of his chest, wanting to head down the path straight to you. How he wanted to reach out and touch you, cradle you in his arms.

You were truly an angel in white. A princess. A queen.

The mere sight of you took him to the skies, the one place he was sure you were from. Although Jaehyun would never admit it, he always thought you to be beautiful. Throughout the many years of being best friends, he would find his gaze subconsciously drifting to you. He would rip it away before you would ever notice him doing so, knowing you would tease the hell out of him for it— it was his own little secret tucked away into the corners of his beating heart.

“How do I look?” Your question snapped him out of his daydream and back to reality. Back down to earth.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Oh my god, you stupid spoon! I said, how do I look?”

“Lovely,” he answered sincerely, his brown eyes digging into your own. “You look absolutely lovely.”

Ten minutes ago, you simply murmured a question while Jung Jaehyun came to a realization. The realization that he might’ve fallen for you: his Forky, his best friend.

The loveliest girl he had ever seen.

With Cinderella’s opening night being only a few weeks out, you and Jaehyun decided to fit in extra time together to run lines and songs outside of scheduled rehearsals. That was the plan for every weekend and that particular Saturday was no exception to this plan. When his doorbell rang frantically, Jaehyun groaned loudly before getting up to answer the door. Did you always have to be so obnoxious?

Just as the door swung open, your loud voice boomed into his apartment, “‘Sup, ho! Ready to rehearse the hell out of this show or what?”

He stepped aside to let you in and you immediately made yourself comfortable in his humble abode. Jaehyun almost laughed as he watched you. There was a particular routine you stuck to when visiting his place. First, you would take off your shoes, slip on your personal pair of slippers you left at his house, drop your bag on the kitchen counter, and then open his fridge to raid his food supply.

Precisely as Jaehyun predicted, you waddled to the fridge in your memory-foam duck slippers and stole one of his yakults. He loved how comfortable you were in his home. It was truly a heart-warming sight. The act itself was extremely domestic and he quite liked the domesticity when it was with you. That flash of you in a wedding gown came back to him and he blushed at the thought. The idea of spending a future together was flooding his brain recently and he didn’t know what to do.

You weren’t the one he liked. Naeun was but why were you the only person on his mind? Was it wrong to have you in his mind? Naeun wasn’t his girlfriend— they were still getting to know each other. His time with her decreased over time since you had stepped into the role of Ella. He was very fond of you. He always had been. There was this little piece of his heart that was reserved for you but was it because you were his best friend or was it more?

Jaehyun quickly snapped himself out of it.

“First of all, I’m not a ho,” he said before grabbing a yakult of his own. He poked the straw through the foil a bit too harshly, the liquid splashing over the top. Damn his strength— now half of his drink was gone. “Second, stop slut-shaming me for my dating choices. It’s 2021. If I wanted to be a ho, I could be a ho.”

You rolled your eyes as you took a sip of your drink. “God, I hate you sometimes.”

“You need to stop lying to yourself, I know you’re hopelessly in love with me,” Jaehyun said, pointing his drink towards you. He caught you rolling your eyes at his answer.

“Oh, you’re absolutely right. I am irrevocably in love with you, Jung Jaehyun,” you said sarcastically, dramatically batting your eyelashes his way. Your confession, despite being a sarcastic statement, left his heart racing against time.

“Alexa, play Hopelessly Devoted to You!” you yelled ironically.

“Now playing Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John,” an electronic voice boomed across his living room before the opening notes of the ballad began to play.

“Shit! I forgot you actually had an Echo,” you jumped, not expecting that at all. Jaehyun chuckled at your reaction, loving how easily you scare. He always thought it was one of your cuter traits.

“Alexa, stop!” he called.

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. He dragged his feet to his bedroom, knowing you would follow without a word. “I can’t rehearse today, I have to write this damned analysis paper for a class. It’s due in two days.”

“I’m sorry, is that paper more important than your best friend in the entire world?” you pushed from behind him.

“Yes,” he deadpanned, taking a seat at his desk. Jaehyun’s study area was an absolute mess. His notebooks were scattered around the floor, textbooks opened to random pages, and his laptop opened to a google document.

“That’s a motherfucking lie and you know it.”

“I really can’t rehearse now, Forky,” he sighed.

He glared at you as you theatrically fell onto his bed. The notes spread out on his bed flying to the floor. “Oh, woe is me! Jung Jaehyun cannot give me the time of day to rehearse. What am I to do?”

“Why are you like this?”

“I’m a theatre student, I’m wired to be this obnoxious,” you said with a straight face.

He stared at you through narrowed eyes. “I really hate you right now.”

“I know,” you countered with a flat tone. “But in all seriousness, Jaehyun. I won’t take too much of your time. I just wanted to practice our duets a couple of times and then I’ll be out of your hair. Plus, you look like you need a break.”

One look at you and he was a goner. How could he ever say no to his best friend?

“Ugh, fine.”

“Ha, I knew you would cave.”

“Shut up.”

The next hour with you was spent rehearsing the numbers. During the last run-through, Jaehyun suggested going over the blocking and putting their all in it. To act like it was opening night. You swiftly agreed and he played the music from the top.

Jaehyun led you around his room, spinning you across the floor as you sang. The smile on your face was so lovely, he could not take his eyes off your lips. His eyes fluttered to a close and he imagined you in your full costume, downed in your gown, as dainty as a daisy and as graceful as a bird. The thought of you dressed like a princess drove him crazy.

He never thought of Naeun this way. This was different. You were different but why?

Jaehyun opened his eyes to see you smiling so gracefully at him as the song was coming to an end. Just as planned in the show, your gaze flitted to his lips. You leaned closer and he followed, dipping his head to meet you halfway. His heart was skipping to its own beat as he inched down. Your soft lips brushed against his oh-so-gently as he held you in his arms but before the boy could press back, the door to his room swung open.

You broke away from him, shocked at the sudden arrival to see your other friend and Jaehyun’s roommate, Dejun. “Oops, was I interrupting something?”

“I, uh, I gotta go.” Before you could even stop him, Jaehyun grabbed his wallet and phone off his desk and ran out his room.

Confusion clouded his senses. Why did he feel empty after you pulled away? Why did he want to kiss you so badly? It was just a stage kiss.

Was it not?

Jaehyun’s door slammed shut behind him, leaving me and Dejun in his room. It wasn’t long before we heard the front door close, too. “Well, that was something,” Dejun said after his roommate shuffled out of the apartment.

“Shut up, Xiao Dejun,” I replied, smacking his arm.

My friend lifted his arms up in defense before he gave me a pointed stare. “I’m just saying, the two of you looked really into it. It looked great, to be honest with you. No notes to give here— I’m sure O’Hare and Lau would say the same.”

“It’s just acting,” I tried to shrug it off.

“Stop lying to yourself.”

“I’m not!”

“Bulltshit. I saw the way he looked at you— that’s not acting, twerp,” Dejun declared, his voice dropping. His voice never dipped in tone unless he was serious and in that moment, he was dead serious. My friend sounded like a frustrated tutor deliberately explaining a concept for the fifth time and I was the stubborn student who just didn’t understand.

“Yes, yes it is!”

“No, it’s not because that’s how he always looked at you!”

“Lies!” I yelled accusingly, “We got Liza Minnelli over here!”

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes! Why won’t you confess? Cat got your tongue? Nothing’s really stopped your sharp tongue before,” Dejun groaned at my stubbornness. He slapped a hand onto my shoulder. I tried to shrug him off but his grip was too strong. Maybe it was him trying to help me get a grip. Who knew? I honestly didn’t.

“It’s not like I haven’t tried, you know?” An exasperated answer left my lips. I was tired. So ridiculously tired of dealing with these feelings for my best friend. It had been four years since I fell for him. Four years of trying to see other people, four years of trying to confess, and four long years of failing every time. “I just freeze up like a deer in headlights or like you did when you performed that one monologue sophomore year in voice and movement class. Remember that, Jun?”

I felt his sharp glare burning a hole in my back. “You promised to never talk about that moment, you traitor,” he hissed, his hand squeezing the hell out of my shoulder.

“Okay yeah but you get the point, right?” My nails dug into his skin, leaving little indents onto his hand. He yelped, finally jerking his hand back to examine it. Shaking my head, I added, “Plus, he’s my best friend. I just can’t do it!”

“So, what you’re saying is that you choose friendship over the possibility of him loving you?”

“It’s just...I don’t know—” I started, shifting my body to face him, “—choosing friendship means that I’ll only lose love. But if I chose to confess and put my feelings out there, I could lose him as a potential lover and my best friend. I’m not prepared for that. I don’t think I ever will be.”

And there it was again. The self-doubt hit me, imposter syndrome resurfacing at an all time high, bringing me to the lowest of lows.

The feeling of being a fraud, of being not good enough.

For Jaehyun. For any love interest for that matter. For the role of Ella. For taking my place under the spotlight.

“Dejun?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I—am I good enough?”

“For?”

“I—I don’t know—” I stuttered as my mind was consumed by my own crippling thoughts. I tried to stay strong but the crack in my voice gave me away, “—for anything? Everything?”

“Oh, twerp,” Dejun said in that particular voice and then that was when the floodgates opened. The tears just came pouring down with no sign of stopping. My friend gently pulled me into his comforting arms. They were snug and I felt safe but not as safe as I did in Jaehyun’s hold.

“You, my darling, are definitely good enough. Don’t let your thoughts tell you otherwise.” Although his voice was comforting, it did not help the unhinged thoughts running through my brain.

“Then, why does it always hurt when I don’t get the role of the leading lady? Of his leading lady? I always get so far and then, at the end of the day, I’m just not what they’re looking for. What he’s looking for.” Pining for something so unimaginable was too taxing. Having the lead role in a play and having Jung Jaehyun wear his heart on his sleeve just for me.

“Sometimes, the roles aren’t made for you and that’s okay.”

“But what about this one?”

“This one, twerp, this one is a little different.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because there is music in you; it goes hand in hand with Jaehyun, like a melody to his harmony. You are his Ella and he’s your Topher,” Dejun urged. It was like he was begging me to not give up hope.

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m really not. You just gotta do what the theatre gods tell us to do: just trust the process.”

How could I trust the process when all it did was hurt me by allowing me to have a glimpse of a love and a life that would never be mine?

Opening night finally arrived. Everyone was called to the theatre for a full run through in the afternoon: the final dress rehearsal hours before the doors opened and the curtains were drawn. I had gotten there earlier to soak in the calmness of the empty auditorium before the chaos began.

I heard heavy footsteps come from behind me. Even without turning around, I knew it to be Jaehyun. The boy took a seat next to me on the wooden prop walls that were locked into the ground. If the stage managers and props committee saw us, they would’ve definitely ripped our heads off but they weren’t— it was just us.

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear Ella?”

“Topher,” I answered, playing along with his game. “Lovely to see you here bright at early.”

“I knew you would be here and I wanted to be here with you,” he said, pulling me into a side hug. Jaehyun knew me well but did he know me well enough? “Spill it, Forky. What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes I still doubt myself,” I said a little too fast. A loud sigh followed my reveal. The crippling doubt was always there, haunting me. Let me tell you, it was not the best thing in the world to have during an opening for a new production.

“Oh yeah?” Jaehyun asked, pushing me to continue. I felt the soft brush of his palm against my hand. His fingers grabbed hold of my wrist before fighting their way to tangle with my own fingers. The sensation tickled, taking me away from my thoughts for a fraction of a second. I played with his fingers, watching the way his pinkish hand fit with mine.

I refused to look at him; I was too afraid of breaking down.“Doubting myself, my abilities. Always the understudy, never the star, remember?”

Jaehyun hummed. He rested his chin on my shoulder. “Did something change?”

“Yeah, I finally realized that maybe it wasn’t that I wasn’t right for the part; the part wasn’t right for me,” I laughed a bit dryly. “Does that make any sense?”

“Weirdly, yes,” he replied, his breath blowing against my neck. I tried to ignore the tickling sensation and the way it made me feel.

“But this is different— I feel like I was made to play Ella. Made to play her even though I got the part in this odd, unconventional way,” I turned my head to the side to avoid eye contact. “The girl who sees the good in everything despite the hardships and suffering she went through.”

“Without a doubt, I believe that you belong on stage with me,” Jaehyun answered sincerely, “and I’m glad we have the chance to finally play opposites.”

He squeezed my smaller palm in support. I appreciated the reassurance; the action slightly calmed me down before she took the next step. Possibly the biggest step of my entire life. “There’s something else I realized, too.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Jaehyun asked softly.

Taking a deep breath, I said, “I realized that I could be right for you.”

It took him a minute, a long solid minute before Jaehyun could bring himself to respond to my confession. I wondered what he was thinking at that moment, when those words left my mouth. “Right for me?” came his tentative reply. A quick glimpse at his ears and I saw the burst of red. He was caught off guard, embarrassed.

“Yeah,” I said almost shamefully. Was I ashamed of my feelings? I never was ashamed before. Maybe it was because Jaehyun finally saw me for who I truly was— his highly dramatic best friend that was head over glass heels for him.

“How long— how long have you felt this way?” The red of his ears seeped to his rosy cheeks.

“Ever since we were a dumb pair of utensils,” I replied sincerely, my voice wavering at the truth, “a set of ridiculous tableware.”

There was an awkward chuckle that left his drying lips. I heard him click his tongue, a habit he did when Jaehyun never knew what to say. It seemed like I rendered him speechless. “Since we were sixteen? That long and you didn’t say anything?”

“You’re really asking me that?”

“Yes, I really am!”

“Jaehyun, c’mon. Use your brain! How was I supposed to? You’re my best friend and when you’re not my best friend, you’re out there chasing other girls,” I stopped to lick my drying lips. There was another inkling of silence and I gulped at how tense the atmosphere was. “And I thought maybe once, just once, you would chase after me, too.”

I almost laughed; my greatest desire was finally out in the world and it was greeted by silence.

“But what if I’m wrong for you?”

And there it was. The rejection I was preparing for. Giving him a pained smile that failed to meet my ears, I said, “Then that’s life, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, I can’t make you act like you’re in love with me, can I?” I snapped, my pain taking the best of me. It clouded my brain, blocking off all rational thoughts out of my head. “This isn’t a play or a movie with a script, Jaehyun. This is real fucking life.”

Hurt. I was being overwhelmed with a wave of hurt and anguish. My body was trembling as much as my eyes were. I felt them growing wet and I shut them closed. My hands curled into fists, nails digging into my skin. It stung but not as much as being rejected by the one you loved most. The lead of the movie in your mind.

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun tried to stop me from getting off the stage. I pulled away from him, quickly snatching my belongings before heading to the nearest exit. Turning back around before I left the empty auditorium, I experienced another moment in slow-motion.

There Jaehyun was in all his glory— denim jacket slipping over his broad shoulders, dark brown hair sticking up in all directions and a confused look on his face. He looked like a mess under the spotlight of my mind but nevertheless, he was my mess of a best friend.

He was my mess of a best friend and that was all he was going to be. That fact hurt more than being the forever understudy.

Why couldn’t I fast forward this portion of my life? Why must I suffer this much?

Why couldn’t I escape the role of being second best?

If only my life was a movie, then maybe I wouldn’t be everyone’s second choice. His second choice.

If we were in a movie, Jung Jaehyun would be my best friend and my perfect match. Our story would be the typical friends-to-lovers saga that every girl dreams of. It would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack.

Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

After that confrontation, you and Jaehyun were off and not off the charts— just off. The directors noticed it. The stage hands noticed. The cast noticed it. The final run-through before the curtains opened just finished and it was an absolute disaster because of the way you acted with Jaehyun. Every time he opened up his body to you, the response you gave him was closed off. Cold.

To the rest of the cast and crew, the prince and princess didn’t seem very much in love that day— they didn’t even seem friendly. You and Jaehyun seemed like two strangers trying to work their way across a stage. There was no connection. There was nothing else there.

Now, if only you would let Jaehyun talk to you, maybe something would change but you didn’t. You ran away every chance you could. It was like Cinderella, but you didn’t leave a glass slipper behind. You didn’t leave anything behind.

Less than an hour before showtime and he couldn’t even talk to you. Let alone look at you. He sighed into his hand, palms applying pressure to his eyes. Jaehyun cursed under his breath, forgetting that he had a heavy amount of stage makeup on his face. Looking into the mirror, he saw his makeup was still intact. Thank the theatre gods for the Ben Nye Final Seal Setter. It seemed like that it was the only thing set in stone at that moment.

The door to Jaehyun’s dressing room slammed open and Dejun waltzed in, fully dressed in his costume.“Dude, what was up with you and the twerp during that dress rehearsal? You were so off!”

He received no reply, Jaehyun was too zoned out to hear. Dejun hopped onto the counter of Jaehyun’s dresser. Usually, the action would shock the main lead but Jaehyun was too lost in thought.“Well, you know what they say about a bad dress rehearsal. That means we’ll have a good opening night,” Dejun said, eyeing his friend for his lack of response.

Finally looking away from his reflection, Jaehyun glanced up at Dejun with a look of disbelief. “She likes me?”

His friend jumped off the counter with widened eyes.“Oh my god, did she finally confess? Was that why you were acting weird?”

“Dejun, you knew?” Jaehyun slammed his palms on his dresser. The makeup products on the tabletop shook, leaving the other guy to wince at the show of strength.

“Honestly for being the ace of the theatre department, you sure are dumb,” Dejun replied a bit too casually as he leaned into the mirror to examine his appearance. He clicked his tongue upon realizing his cheeks didn’t have enough color. The stage lights would wash him out. The boy reached for Jaehyun’s pink blush and a clean wedge before applying it onto the apples of his cheeks.

“What should I do?”

“Well, Jaehyun, what do you want to do?” Dejun asked, turning side to side to double-check his reflection.

“I don’t know that’s why I’m asking you!” Jaehyun fired back with vigor, hating how casual his best friend was acting. He was having a before-show crisis and his best friend was calmly stealing his bottle of Ben Nye, spraying his beautifully sculpted face with the setting spray.

“Well, do you like her more than a friend? And what about Naeun?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know! But—”

“But?” His friend asked before hopping onto the countertop. The actor raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows at his friend and Jaehyun had the sudden urge to pluck the beauties they were until Dejun had no eyebrow hair left. When Jaehyun didn’t reply, Dejun repeated his question.

Dropping his head in his hands, Jaehyun hesitantly replied, “There was this moment when I saw her and it was like that thing she always said? The slo-mo thing?”

Dejun’s head perked up. “You saw her in slow motion?”

“Yeah, it was like time stopped. All I saw was her and then…” Jaehyun thought back to seeing you in a wedding dress. He changed his mind; he didn’t want to talk about his feelings. All he wanted to do was make sure opening night ran as smoothly as possible. Grabbing his white suit jacket for the top of Act One, the boy stood up in an attempt to escape his friend’s sudden peak in curiosity. “Never mind, this is ridiculous. I gotta go, Dejun.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere until you actually confront your damn feelings,” Dejun said, shoving his friend back in his chair. “Do you like Naeun?”

There was a pause before he answered truthfully: “Yes.”

“Okay, and are your feelings for Naeun stronger than what you have for your best friend?”

“No,” Jaehyun released another sigh as he leaned back in his chair. A hand reached up to brush through his hair before he remembered that it was gelled back in place. He dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck, not wanting to mess with his looks before places. “I was infatuated with Naeun but with her, god, she’s something else and it took me this long to realize it.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Dejun questioned, squeezing his friend’s shoulders a bit too tightly. Jaehyun thought his friend was testing him and for a good reason. If he was in Dejun’s position, Jaehyun would’ve grilled his friend, too. “How do I know you’re actually in love with her? Yes, you’re my roommate and best friend but she’s my best friend, too. I can’t let you hurt her if all you feel is something temporary. I can’t let you treat her like those other girls.”

“Because she’s The One, Dejun. I’m certain of it,” Jaehyun snapped back. “When I look at her, I see everything I’ve been searching for. It’s like I was blind for the longest time, you know? She was always just Forky to me back when I didn’t know any better. But now I see and all I see is her— her, with all her flaws. The way she hides her insecurities with her dramatic outbursts. How she picks at her cuticles when she’s nervous or how she always steals my food at home. And the way she just fits with me. I can’t explain it.”

Jaehyun didn’t even give his friend a chance to butt in. He was still rambling on with a fond smile, his mouth running a mile. “She’s been there with me since the beginning, Jun. Before I was this prince of the theatre department, she was there. She’s been there since the beginning and even when I was chasing after girls, she was there at the middle of it all, and fuck, I want to go all the way to the end with her.”

Dejun released his hold on his friend and rolled his eyes. The boy made his way to the door of the dressing room before mumbling under his breath, “God, what is with you two and giving out monologues? I swear, when this is all over, you should become playwrights.”

“What?”

“Never mind me, Jaehyun,” Dejun opened the door and gestured for Jaehyun to follow the path— the path down the hall that led to you. “What are you waiting for? Go get her, we have 30 until Joohyun calls for places!”

“Dejun, it’s much more complicated than that.”

“It’s only as complicated as you make it out to be. Just— just go and talk to her, yeah?”

Jaehyun sighed deeply as he reached your dressing room door. He knocked lightly, running through the lines he wanted to say in his head before you shouted a faint “come in.” The door squeaked open to reveal you, his best friend in the whole entire world, touching up your makeup. The best friend that he was inescapably in love with. You watched him through the mirror as he leaned against the frame with crossed arms.

“Can we talk after the show? There’s something I need to tell you— it’s important. I don’t think I—um, I have enough time to tell you now,” Jaehyun asked, stuttering through his words. Gone was the confidence he usually bared. The only thing left in him was a scared little boy, afraid of the problem his words may cause.

The smile he received from you did not reach your ears. “Of course,” you replied curtly before turning away from him. He noted how you were over applying your blush and fidgeting with your costume. You were doing everything in your power to avoid him.

The tugging of your ear, the biting of your lip, the picking of your cuticles. He saw all your bad habits. You were a ball of nerves and the speaker announced it was ten minutes before places.

“Hey, Forky?”

“Yes, Jaehyun?”

“You know that I believe in you, right? Always?”

There was a twitch at the corner of your lips. “I do.”

“Good,” Jaehyun approached you with caution. You watched him from your mirror, never making direct eye contact as he came closer. He dropped a kiss on the crown on your head, relishing in the way his plush lips against your torn bandana and the lace front wig. “Break a leg, my Ella.”

He observed you through your reflection and took in how beautiful you looked in your rags. You made the rags the costume department designed for you look like riches.

“Same goes to you, my prince,” he heard you answer in that soft tone. Again, you had sent him to the skies and the boy was struggling to find his way back down.

When it was time to draw the curtains and light the lights for the first performance of Cinderella, it seemed like everything fell into place. Jaehyun stared at you across the stage, falling for the way the lights illuminated your figure in that white ball gown. The bright glow brought his attention to your bright grin, that beautiful and radiant smile of yours, that shocked him to his core.

Jaehyun locked eyes with you and suddenly, he was drowning. He was drowning in your expressive eyes. He was drowning in your overflowing love.

It was different being across from you in front of a full audience. There was a rush that took over him whenever he saw you and it beat the flurries his heart experienced with his other leading ladies. As you said your lines with that bewitching sparkle in your eye, Jaehyun hated himself for not realizing how much he loved you sooner or how you were never playing pretend.

But that was okay because Jung Jaehyun loved you now. He loved you in the world you made believe on stage, where he was Prince Topher and you were his Ella, and he loved you in reality where you would always be the fork to his spoon.

Opening night went smoothly and the roaring applause I received during my final bow sent me to the moon. The way Jaehyun looked at me across the stage with eyes filled with pride and joy blasted me to places I had never been before. I became high on this feeling of being under the burning spotlights. The feeling of wearing the most intricate costume and the way his hand slid into mine for the last bow before the curtains were drawn; it was something I wanted to treasure for the rest of my life.

But with every high came a low— my low hit me when I ran into Jaehyun’s dressing room. I caught him in an embrace with Naeun who gifted my best friend with a rose. She placed a kiss on his cheek, causing his white ears to flush a deep red that rivaled the flower he held. The girl gave him a quick shove of the shoulder before heading to me.

Her congratulatory statement went in one ear and out the other. I could barely process Naeun handing me a rose of my own before she walked out of the room, the sweet scent of her perfume lingering in her wake. She gave my best friend one more lingering look as she left and it hurt me in so many ways.

“Ready to go?” Jaehyun said, clearing his throat. “Wanna stop by the stage first? Soak in your first opening night as a lead?”

“Why the hell not?” The walk back to the stage was short. It felt different somehow.

“We did it,” I whispered.

“That we did,” he answered back.

We walked onto the stage together and I could still hear the crowds cheering for me, giving me the standing ovation I earned. It was electrifying, the way the sparks ran through my body. It ran from the top of my head to the tips of my fingers and toes.

Glancing around the empty auditorium, I pondered aloud, “But do you know what sucks about it all, Jaehyun?”

“What?”

“There’s nothing worse than the feeling of not being chosen and it still hurts that I wasn’t the first choice,” I replied truthfully, “Not as much as before. But I’m learning to get over it. The casting directors saw potential in me.”

“That’s because you do have the potential to be a star. You’re practically glowing right now.” I felt his eyes trained on me, just like they were the entire time we shared the stage.

Turning abruptly to face him, I said, “You really can’t say that to me, you know?”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it makes my heart beat against my chest and these stupid butterflies come around before I remember that you have never chosen me to be your first choice,” I glared.

“But I do choose you,” Jaehyun pushed, his voice laced with desperation, “That’s what I was trying to tell you before you stormed off on me earlier!”

“Are you really choosing me, Jaehyun? The real me? The me that has been your best friend for years? Or are you choosing the me that shares a stage with you every night? The me that could potentially be your next whirlwind romance?” No matter how desperate he sounded, he couldn’t beat the hopelessness that was dripping from my own voice.

“No, that’s not it at all!” his voice boomed, the sound echoing throughout the empty auditorium.

“Then, what is it, Jung Jaehyun? Because I am tired of being second best and I’m tired of not being chosen,” I almost cried. The anguish was just taking over my body and I couldn’t make it stop. “Yes, I know some parts are not right for me but I can’t help but be hurt. And then you say that you’re choosing me? Of course, I’m going to think of it being because I’m your newest love interest on stage.”

“If you could just listen—”

Unable to stop the words from coming out, I just kept running off at the mouth. Everything I wanted to say to Jaehyun was flying out of my lips at rapid speed; I couldn’t even stop it. “I have seen you in slow motion so many times and I want to just fast forward from those moments. To speed past them so I can move on from the idea of not being yours. I refuse to be a temporary love that you lose interest in. I just want you to pick me, to choose me, and to love me, damn it— is that too fucking much to ask for? To be chosen and loved?”

While I was taking a breath to continue with my rant, Jaehyun cut me off and the words he said rattled the stage, the ground beneath my feet, and my whole entire world.“No, it’s not and you are way fucking more than that, if you just take a moment out of your godforsaken monologue and listen to me! I choose you not because you’re my leading lady but because you’re you. You’ve always been this— this incredible, breathtaking you.”

He took one step closer and I took one step back. “And you’ve the person at my side when no one else is.”

Every single time I would retreat, Jaehyun would follow. The boy was persistent, his brown eyes trained on me. “The one who figured out you loved me first while I was too blind to see it. You’re the fork to my spoon. We’re a set, we go together. And I was too dumb to figure out that at the end of the day, I always think about you and how no one I’ve ever been with compares to you.”

When my back hit the wall, I was trapped. Trapped in between his arms and the way they propped themselves on either side of my face. Trapped in the haze of his brown eyes and how they dug deep into my soul.

“I don’t see you in slow motion— I see you in fast forward. I see you in the future, my future, walking down the aisle in white and I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. All I know is that I choose you. I will always choose you.”

I was trapped by Jung Jaehyun and there was no escape for me. Judging by the way his eyes never let me out of his sight, there was a chance my friend didn’t want to let me go either. He wanted me to stay.

“Jaehyun, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I love you. You’re my beginning, middle, and my end.”

“You love me? Like you’re in love with me?” Jaehyun heard you ask, like the possibility of being loved by him was so impossible. You were searching for any inkling of doubt but he made sure you couldn’t find any because you were the only thing he could see.

Jaehyun brought a hand near your cheek. It hovered there as he hesitated to touch it to your skin until you leaned into his touch. Your cheek felt so warm in his palm and it was so comforting to have you in his hold. “I wanted to say it earlier but I was just so scared of losing you as both a lover and a friend because what if it all goes to shit? What if we go to shit and things hit the fan? I can’t lose you.”

“But you, Jung Jaehyun, are in love with me?” you repeated as your hand cupped his own. The smile you gave him was bright enough to light up the stage.

“Yeah, I thought I made that clear. I’m sorry, did I mumble that line?” he teased playfully, trying to coerce a giggle out of you. “Should I start the scene over?”

“No, no. I’m just—” you paused and he watched you recollect your thoughts. His glittering brown eyes were trained on you as the words processed in your head. “You love me,” you laughed in disbelief.

Jaehyun took a step closer, his hand tentatively reaching out to stroke your face. He sighed in relief as you relaxed into his touch. “You’re my number one girl. I choose you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that even after all this time, I’ve always chosen you, too.”

Once those words left your lips, he couldn’t hold himself back. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Jaehyun pulled you against his chest and smashed his lips against yours. Yes, he had kissed you on multiple occasions prior to this— onstage and off— but this time was different than the rest.

This was the first time he really kissed you after your feelings were out in the open.

The first time he kissed you and finally felt the love you harbored for so many years. Jaehyun just hoped you could sense the love he was pouring out for you, too.

He did not want to let you go but he was struggling to breathe. You were so lovely, everything about you was so incredibly lovely, and to have you in his arms was the best feeling in the universe. Everything around him turned dark and he felt the warmth of a spotlight and the flush of your body against him. The entire world was spinning beneath his feet, his heart racing, and his lips chasing you and only you.

Jaehyun did not understand why people did drugs— the high of being so ardently in love with another person, with you, gave him the high that he needed.

He felt you hit his chest in an attempt to end the kiss but Jaehyun did not want to stop. A light shove to his shoulders was enough to separate his lips from yours and what a sight you were— chest panting heavily for air, lips plumped and swollen, and the prettiest set of eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed me!” you said in between pants. “Like not a stage kiss but you actually kissed me!”

“That I did, love,” Jaehyun replied cheekily, taking another step towards you. You stepped back to lean against the wall but did nothing to stop him from coming forward. “Are you gonna do something about it?”

The look in your eyes changed after you heard his new nickname for you. It was coy. Flirty. Challenging. “Do it again, I dare you,” you whispered a bit too loudly.

Before Jaehyun closed the distance, his eyebrow perked up at the challenge. “Gladly.”

Senior year was there before we knew it.

Another year, another posting day.

Dejun, Jaehyun, and I swiftly made our way down the hall to the front of the theatre department, curious to find out which roles we were given. The spring production and the final musical of our college career was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

Callbacks for Belle went as smooth as ever— the chemistry between Jaehyun and I were off the charts. But why wouldn’t they be? We were together now.

Just like any other time, the crowds gathering around the cast list and bulletin board parted immediately once they caught a glimpse of Jaehyun approaching. The only difference was that this time, he was tightly clutching my hand.

When we arrived in front of the board, I shut my eyes before I could read the cast list. An anxious buzz flowed through my veins, tickling the tips of my fingers and toes. My boyfriend must’ve felt the twitching of my fingers or the sweat dripping off my palms.

I felt his body shift towards me. “Want me to take a peek first, love?” Jaehyun asked as he pressed his plump lips onto the crown of my head. He nuzzled his nose into my hair, a small but sweet action that always comforted me.

Shaking my head, I looked at him and said, “No, why don’t we look together?”

“On three?” he grinned lovingly.

“On three, you dumb spoon.”

The countdown was quick but the glance I took at the cast list was even quicker. It was so quick, I almost didn’t catch who was put into the role of Belle. Taking a double take, I let go of Jaehyun’s hand as my eyes zeroed in onto the tiny print.

Everything around me came to a stop as I read and re-read the cast list. Everyone around me was celebrating their parts but I couldn’t hear them, they were all muted in my mind. All I could hear was the sound of my own breaths and all I could see my name on the top of the page.

Belle……………..Y/N The Beast……..Jung Jaehyun

“Oh my god, I got the part,” I whispered to no one in particular. Backing away from the board, I repeated the same words a little louder and it got the attention of everyone surrounding me. Before I knew it, everyone threw a congratulations my way. The cheers were loud and obnoxious but they were for me because I did it. I finally did it.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, I backed away from the blustering crowd before bumping into my boyfriend’s firm chest. Jaehyun caught me in his hold, his arms circling around my waist. He dropped his chin on my shoulder and placed a tender kiss on my temple. “Would you look at that? We’re not a ridiculous set of tableware this time.”

“No disrespect to those parts, they were awesome, but I think I like this a lot more,” I giggled, turning in his hold.

As I circled my arms around his neck, he whispered, “Same here.”

I yanked him down into an earth-shattering kiss that sent the world spinning beneath my feet. It slowed down, speeded up, and it did everything in between. I saw flashes of yellow ball gowns, royal blue coats, and Jaehyun smiling at me gracefully across the stage.

Jaehyun staring me down from the other end of an altar.

I saw it all.

If my life was a movie, then this would be the time that the screen would fade to black and show the names. Some overly poppy song would resonate through the speakers and everyone would get up from their seats and gush over the happy ending.

But it wasn’t. My life was as real as it could be and it was even better than any romantic-comedy that would ever grace the screen.

This wasn’t the ending.

This was the perfect beginning.

AUTHOR’S NOTE. hello, my darling readers! you really didn’t have to wait that long for this release, did you? a big thank you to several people: @johtenrecs for always being my beta and for the helpful feedback, to my chaotic gc ( @smoll-tangerine, @ppangjae, @jaedore, and @jeongvision) for listening to me complain about how i was losing it while writing this fic, to @suhpressed for helping me with brainstorm, and lastly, to my lovely @notnctu bc without her and our crazy idea of hosting a hannah montana collab, i wouldn’t have gotten this idea! love y’all! hope you enjoyed this and please leave feedback! uwu

TAGLIST. @yasmini24 @jaehyunnie77 @emmybyeakitty @fluffyjaes @aevizen @dearjaehyxn @yourmagnanimousholiness @jaehyvnsvalentine @keemburley @softieus @lanadreamie @lebrookestore @notmangojuice @felixn-recs @captainsjoongs @anotherfullsun @ukiyoneo @kunrengui @babyyynatty

#nctsworldfwc #neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct scenarios #nct fic #nct imagines #nct x you #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun x you #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst

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narukoibito · 3 years

Note

Trope mashup - 10 + 51

10 (Airport/Travel AU) and 51 (Accidentally Married)

Oh my God, you are so funny, @theroomofreq! This immediately fired up my brain. I went way overboard, but this is the most I’ve written in a long time. I had fun with my favorite two idiots. Hope you enjoy!

Please feel free to send me more trope mashups!

Harry slumped back into the squeaky, plastic airport chair. The woman two seats over shot him a look before leaving in a huff, her purse clutched to her chest. Great, just great.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead out of habit. A bad habit, according to his best friend, Hermione. Supposedly would induce early on-set wrinkles, as if his troublesome life weren't the cause. He looking longingly over at the bar. Would it be too early to start drinking before he even got on the flight? One could hardly blame him, after all. Even Hermione, who had insisted he take the trip, despite everything.

And now he was thinking about it again.

Fuck it, he thought, dragging his carry-on over to the bar. It took longer than it should, considering its funky wheel that kept trying to go the opposite direction as its partner. It almost made him want to laugh. Or cry.

Instead, he ordered a whiskey, neat.

Harry was fiddled with the napkin the bartender set in front of him, when a curtain of red hair leaned over the bar several seats from him.

"Gin and tonic, please," the redhead ordered.

Their eyes caught, and Harry flushed at being caught starting, but she gave him a bright smile. He felt his lips raise in response. Then he quickly looked away, back to the napkin he had all but massacred.

No, none of that. This was supposed to be about finding himself or something, or whatever Hermione had chattered on about while shoving him into the car and driving him here. She had even done the packing, if tossing whatever clean laundry he had into the bag counted. For all he knew, she had slipped a copy of Eat, Pray, Love in there. Of course, he was probably going to brood and drink the entire time. But there was no redhead or blonde or brunette in the picture.

Even if they were really fit.

"Old fashion, neat," the bartender said, placing a new napkin and the drink in front of him.

"Thanks," Harry said, taking a liberal sip, even though it burned on the way down. No more getting drawn towards pretty women who would break his heart. No matter how shiny their hair was.

There was an announcement on the overhead before an overly cheerful voice crackled through the loud speakers, "Good afternoon everyone! Or should I say 'Aloha'? Welcome everyone here at gate B24, outgoing flight from London to Kauai, Hawaii. We'll be boarding shortly. As we wait, our company likes to play a little lottery for an upgrade to first class!"

He tuned out the annoying chatter and focused instead on his drink, which was starting to make everything feel pleasantly warm and fuzzy.

"We have our lucky couple! And would you look at that, newlyweds on their honeymoon! Would Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter come up to the podium?"

Harry promptly choked, spilling some of his drink. He turned, appalled to see the flight attendant at the podium, holding up two leis.

"Would Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter come to gate B24′s podium to upgrade their seats?"

Not only was he going on his honeymoon alone, but he was going to have to be humiliated in an airport full of strangers? As if being humiliated in front of his family and friends wasn't enough? He needed to get out of here. Why fly to Hawaii to drown his sorrows when he could do it from the comfort of his flat?

"Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter?" the speaker repeated.

Harry had just grabbed hold of his luggage handle when an arm looped with his.

"I can't believe we won, honey!"

He looked down at the voice in disbelief. The redhead was smiling up at him encouragingly, a blazing look in her eye.

"Yeah," he managed. “Wow.”

She pulled him towards the gate, waving one hand cheerfully in the air to announce their approach. Harry was too stunned to do anything but let himself be dragged along.

"Congratulations to the happy couple!" the flight attendant sang while bequeathing the leis around their necks as the crowd aww'ed and clapped. After the spectacle died down, she asked for their IDs to update their tickets. Dumbfounded, he provided his ID only to panic about his companion, but without missing a beat, she explained how she hadn’t yet had a chance to change her name. Yes, all that paperwork was such a bother, the attendant laughed in commiseration.

Next thing he knew, he was seated once again at the bar, his whiskey placed back in his hand as the redhead went back to sipping her gin and tonic. His mind was spinning with how this stranger had rescued him and how to thank her, but all he could think was how stupidly attractive he found her audacity.

"This isn’t how I imagined meeting my wife," Harry blurted like an idiot.

“Well, now we have 19 hours to get acquainted,” she laughed, the sound sending small shivers down his spine.

“How’d you figure it out?”

She gave him a sympathetic look.

“Jilted at the alter all over my face?”

"Her loss,” she said, waving her ticket victoriously, pulling yet another smile out of him. “Being Mrs. Potter for five minutes has already proven to the best part of my week.”

His heart skipped a beat at her words. “I’m not sure if I should be impressed or scared by your acting.”

“I tend to think anything's possible if you've got enough nerve,” she said. “Besides...” She squinted thoughtfully at his face. He had to clamp down on the urge to flatten his hopeless hair. “Yep, you have a look about you.”

“What look?” he asked, defensively.

“Like you have a noble streak,” she declared. “If the situation were reversed, you’d have done the same for me.”

“What idiot would leave you at the alter?” He must have had more alcohol than he realized. That, or maybe it had to do with the fact that he hadn’t eaten since Saturday. His stomach rumbled as if on cue.

“See? Noble,” she laughed, rummaging in her bag. She pulled out two colorful Easter eggs. “Would you like one?”

Harry took one gratefully, peeling the wrapper. The chocolate melted on his tongue, and a familiar comfort eased through him.

“So,” Harry said, clearing his throat. “All this alcohol must be getting to me since I can’t seem to remember my wife’s name.”

“Ginny,” she said, holding out her hand. “Ginny Weasley now Potter.”

He slid his hand into hers, feeling her warm and callused fingers grip his in return. Maybe it was the fact the warm chocolate always comforted him, but Harry was feeling more happier than he could remember in the longest time.

---

Please feel free to send me more trope mashups!

#theroomofreq #trope mashup #thanks for the inspiration #airport au #accidental marriage #muggle au #meet cute #my favorite two idiots #couldn't help but sneak canon references #cuz that's how i roll #hinny #Harry/Ginny #harry potter #ginny weasley

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moonctzeny · 3 years

Text

love to hate me

request: celebrity! jaehyun + enemies to lovers + “don’t you want to know how i feel?”

pairing: friends to enemies to lovers! jaehyun x female reader

genre: smut, angst, fluff... this fic has it all folks

word count: 7.514k

warnings: toxic behaviour, public sex, light restraining, jaehyun pulls a ‘white boy punching the wall’ at some point

summary: “You and Jaehyun meet as SM trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you deicde to leave the company and pursue a solo career. When you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. Your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other”

a/n: this is the longest it has ever taken me to finish a fic.. I have a love-hate relationship with this (no pun intended XD). I hope whoever requested this likes it!

------------------------------------------------

Of-fucking-course you had to bump into him out of all people at the vending machine. All you wanted was a drink to refresh you before you got up on stage, and now you have to deal with Mr. Too Good For This World and his relentless teasing. His eyes, lit up by an amusement that was also evident in his smirk, stayed glued on your body, raking up and down at it for a second too long. Not that you didn’t like it.

“Stare much?”, you bark at him in hopes of snapping him out of his trance, and push through him to punch in the code of your favorite drink. But alas, he always had a comeback ready on the edge of his lips.

“You look ridiculous”, he states and you have to admit that your outfit, though fitting for the Halloween special of today’s music show, was way different than anything else he had ever seen you in. Reincarnated as Dorothy Gale for the night, your stylists had chosen a short, light blue checkered dress, with red stilettos that gave a sexy twist to the character’s ruby slippers. Hair neatly braided in two pigtails, decorated by ribbons and topped off by glittery pink makeup. The image of innocence. Jaehyun had to laugh.

“Says the man dressed up as Woody”

It was unfair, you admitted, how good he looked in that stupid outfit. His hair was gelled back, a few strands framing his handsome face strategically. The yellow shirt fitted him like a glove, its bright colour lighting him up as well. And those jeans, tight in all the right places, just melted over the muscles of his thighs. The ones that you’ve come undone on one too many times.

“So”, he lilts, giving you a once over before lowering both the volume and pitch of his voice, “want a ride?”

You scoff, sparing him an incredulous look, “on what horse, cowboy?”

He doesn’t reply, only points with his eyes to his crotch that is undeniably sporting a visible tent, and you gasp when you see the outline of his dick twitching under your stare.

“Jesus Christ, Jaehyun”, you mutter with a disgusted look on your face before picking up the almost forgotten beverage that the vending machine had barfed out for you. The boy mentioned, however, was unfazed.

“They don’t call me Woody for nothing”

Almost choking at the drink that was supposed to calm you down, you catch his eyes rolling at you through your third cough. Well, that ruins one of your favourite childhood movies. “Don’t pretend to be a prude. Now are we going to fuck before you get on stage of not?”

You can clearly remember the first time you met Jung Jaehyun alone. You always spotted him somewhere in the SM buildings, joking around with his future bandmates, barely ever without company. As a fellow vocal trainee, he introduced himself to you as Yoonoh, filling up the awkward silence while your vocal teacher prepared the music sheets for the both of you to rehearse.

You were thankful the two of you always got paired up together. Jaehyun was charming, easy to be around, funny. He was a model SM trainee with the otherworldly looks he possessed, almost impossible for anyone’s eyes not to follow him when he entered a room. Radiant porcelain skin, soft brown locks, and a dimpled smile that made your heart melt in seconds.

You can also clearly remember the first time you had the privilege of hearing him sing. Jaehyun had a beautiful baritone voice, one that contradicted his flower boy image but matched his manly personality perfectly. The four walls of the small practice room resonated with his sound, that was stable and smooth like honey. The lessons were challenging but Jaehyun made them bearable through spending time with him. Maybe it was your shared struggles, or how you were always tired and vulnerable when you saw him. Maybe it was those damned dimples, but your heart always beat faster when you were around him.

“Sometimes I get discouraged”, he confides in you in that same room, hours later, early into the morning now. The vocal lesson stretched on longer than expected, leaving you two sitting on the floor, sharing a cup of lemon-honey tea to soothe your vocal chords. You let your head rest to the leather couch behind you as you stare into his handsome features one by one. What time was it? Shouldn’t you be back at your dorms by now? It didn’t matter, this was one of those moments when time seems to stop and life seems unreal. When the only thing that you care about is the person standing next to you, and whatever it is they have to tell you.

“I fear that I will never get to debut. There’s handsome guys all over the company. I just don’t know if my skills are enough.”

You thought he was crazy for thinking that way, wanted to scream at him that he’s just perfect and more than enough for the company, or for anything in this world for that matter. But Jaehyun was reserved, the type to always mask his true feelings behind a smile and you were more than glad that he finally opened up to you, that he saw you as someone trustworthy. You didn’t want to dismiss his feelings, so you just pet his hair while you listened to his concerns.

As you mindlessly gaze at the rainy weather outside, a couple of droplets following their own path down the froggy window remind you that time does run by. Even if every day seemed the same, following the same routine, going to the same classes over and over again.

Jaehyun had this sad look that contorted his pretty face and you hated it, reaching up to massage away the wrinkles between his eyebrows. You don’t know which godly creature made the hourglass of time freeze this moment, nor did you know why Jaehyun leaned forward to capture your lips into a kiss. Maybe it was his way of saying thank you for keeping your ears and heart open for him, for listening to him when he needed it most.

It felt so lovely while it lasted, two young people leaning on each other during an uncertainty that anchored them far away from their emotional shoreline. But life as a trainee isn’t a fairytale and falling in love can have serious ramifications. So you promise to each other that this will be a one time thing, and then you never speak of this night ever again.

Unsurprisingly enough, Jaehyun got to successfully debut, yet you didn’t have the same luck. The company had plans of focusing on their new boy group, thus postponing your debut for an uncertain amount of time. It was hard for you to decide to switch labels, to throw away the years of hope and dedication you had pinned on this company but the faith you placed on yourself was stronger.

It’s years later when you finally get to promote as a solo artist in a different company, and you are happy to say that the decision you made all those years ago was the right one. The exposure you got wasn’t the same as being in a Big 3 company, however leaving SM entertainment has its pros. Flexible schedule, less scrutiny, great creative freedom over your work.

This wasn’t the first time you have come across your old trainee buddy. Jaehyun had multiple comebacks in a year, so it was only natural that his group’s and your promotions would sometimes overlap. You were only a rookie, and NCT turned out to become pretty popular, so of course the wins were always tied to their names.

The first time you walked past him in the hallways, dark makeup and professional styling making you both almost unrecognizable, you expected a wave, small talk, maybe some reminiscing of the old times. Instead, you got a cold stare or at best, an arrogant smirk coupled with a “Do better next time”. It was shocking to you how much Yoonoh, the boy with the shy smile and awkward social skills, would turn into such a stranger.

How you always ended up sneaking out with him to have a quickie in one of the ready rooms, was beyond you. He rushed you inside before checking both sides of the hallway, cautious to hide from any curious eyes. The coast was clear and Jaehyun doesn’t like to waste time, so he pins you against the door he just closed behind him, face dipped in your neck. You can feel his fingers dancing on the skin of your thighs, eager to explore what is hidden under your frilly skirt, and their delicacy in contrast to his feverish kisses sends a shiver down your spine.

One pretty whine from your lips, then two, three and you can feel Jaehyun smile deviously against your neck. The softness is too enticing for him to resist, so he nips at it skillfully, trying to get a reaction out of you. He recognizes that you have plenty of talent as a singer, yet the symphonies you sing out for him in those little sessions seem to be his favorite.

“Jaehyun, cut it out. I’m going on stage in like, 20 minutes”

“Turn me on then”

Wasn’t he the one that basically flashed you in the middle of the cafeteria for just existing? Isn’t it his hard on that digs against your lower stomach? The demand made you mad, and you wanted nothing more than to entice him with a nice blowjob, only to take a big, strong bite off that cock of his. But see, you had a full face of makeup on and your career is way more important than a fuckboy, so you’ll have to get creative.

Flipping him around so that he’s the one trapped between you and the door, you start to suck on his collarbones , then nibble at the tender flesh. He seems distracted enough by it so that you open the button of his jeans and fully remove his belt from their loops with no objections. Palming him over his boxers to keep him entranced, you manage to bring his wrists together, wrapping the leather around them, then lastly fastening them in place.

His eyes widen in shock when he realizes that he’s too late, wiggling his hands in a futile attempt to free himself. Your laugh is sadistic, making the hairs on his arms stand on edge and you gloat in the effect you have on him.

Giving your palm a good lick, you form a ring with your fingers, wrapping them around the base of his member. He hisses and drops his head back, thudding loudly against the wall. His cock enlarges and reddens as you move your hand up and down, changing the pressure according to his reactions. Jaehyun isn’t one to express himself freely but there is not much he can do to stop the low moans leaving his lips. Not when you rub circles over his tip with the soft skin of your palm.

He looks so fucking good, all squirmy and desperate and trying to hold himself from saying ‘please’. You almost want to keep going, squeeze him more until he whines and begs to cum, and admire the white beads dripping from his slit and covering your hand. Almost.

You halt your movements with a last strong stroke, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare back at him. Jaehyun tentatively opens one eye to see why you have stopped, only to come across that bratty smile that he loves as much as he hates.

“You should have dressed up as a siren. Seducing people before they realize you are a man eating bitch”

“If you want someone to jerk you off you can go ask one of your little fangirls. I want to get fucked.”

“Let me go then. And you’ll wish you never did”

You scoff at his cockiness, nonchalantly freeing him from his constraints, and the way he immediately has a hold of your jaw reminds you of a predator eyeing its prey. His eyes have a crazy look in them, moving frantically over every part of your body like he can’t decide what to grab onto first. He decides on your hips, bending you over a table full of snacks and makeup tools and flyers of today’s schedule.

“You think it’s funny to tease me like that?”, he asks you with a peremptory voice that signifies you’d better shut up.

You hear shuffling behind you and assume it’s him slipping on a condom, so you make yourself more comfortable on the wooden surface. A hard slap on your ass jolts you alert.

“I asked you a fucking question”, Jaehyun presses brusquely and flips your skirt fully over your ass, pulling your panties down until they’re bunched up right over your knees.

“It’s fun”, you moan out, breathless both from the pleasure and the stinging feeling on your right cheek, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Was the room occupied by one of the artists that have already been on stage? Or will they barge in at any moment to find you bent over and pussy dripping for Jaehyun to finally dive inside you? He chuckled at the sight of you, eyes feasting off your naked body, your ass up just the way he likes it. Not so innocent anymore, huh?

He doesn’t reply to you, aligning himself against your slit and bottoming out in one go instead. Involuntarily, you let out a small screech, the sudden stretch catching you off guard.

“You better stay quiet, siren. Or maybe you would like it if people found us like this? Saw how good you take my cock whenever I ask”

You wanted to bite back at him, but the only sound you could make was a guttural moan. It was embarrassingly loud, and you fall forward to bite your fist and force yourself to shut up. It was effective, yet Jaehyun had other plans for you, pulling your pigtails towards him in a strong grip that has you against his chest in seconds.

“Nuh, uh, uh, siren”, he hums in your ear, his panting making his voice sound huskier and smokier than ever, “How about trying to stay quiet by using your willpower alone? That way it’s more- how did you call it? Fun.”

He slows down his pace momentarily, as if he’s giving you time to answer him. But the moment you open your mouth to talk back at him, he thrusts particularly hard inside you, forcing a whimper out of your lips.

“Fuck you, Jaehyun”

“As you wish”

Jaehyun was conceited and cocky and a dick, but he was also a good fuck. He kept at it with what seemed like all the energy in the world, fucking you against that table until you came all over him, and your legs gave out. It ended how it always did, with him moaning how fucking sexy you look and how much he hates you, and you swallowing your pride as you swallow his cum. You’d tell each other to fuck off and never bother the other again, until you meet up at the next comeback, to do this shit all over again.

And that’s how things would stay if it wasn’t for that goddamn phone call from your manager.

“...so we thought what better way to promote your new song by recording a duet with NCT’s Jaehyun?”

No, no, no this can’t be happening. No way. Anyone but him.

“Are you sure this is the only way we can promote me? Can’t I just go to variety programs like every other idol out there?”

“y/n, duets by different group members are one of the most efficient methods of promoting there is! And with NCT’s latest song topping the charts this will be a great opportunity for you. Taemin and Sunmi did it. Suzy and Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Punch-“

“Alright, okay, I get it”

“Besides, since you used to be an SM trainee they specifically asked for you. The directors made some pretty big compliments on your work”

Isn’t it a little too late now? Not like they didn’t have the chance to debut you, right? That being said, there isn’t much to oppose to decline SM’s offer; your manager is right and you know it. Saying no to Lee Sooman and giving up a popularity push like that is basically career suicide. Nor could you let your manager know about your and Jaehyun’s little adventures, minutes before you have to go on stage.

“Just send me the schedule. I don’t have to record with him, right?”

“Oh no, they’ll record his part first and then they’ll send it to us. But there will be a music video of course”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

There was this little monster of worriedness that was screaming inside your head, refusing to shut up. This collaboration isn’t going to be easy, but you didn’t want to let Jaehyun’s pettiness get in the way of your career. Fumbling with your phone in your hands, you kept removing and reinserting its case compulsively, over and over again, until you mustered the courage to take matters into your own hands.You knew his number was buried somewhere in your contacts.

you [16:35]: hey it’s me, y/n

Jung Yoonoh [16:50]: y/n who??

you [16:55]: y/n y/l/n? the girl whose guts you were inside in last week? we have a song coming up 😒

Jung Yoonoh [16:57]: oh y/n right

Jung Yoonoh [16:58]: thought you’d have deleted my number

Well you sure have deleted mine, you murmur with your blood boiling, regretting reaching out to him in the first place.

you [16:59]: i always hoard peoples contacts

you [17:00]: old habits die hard i guess

Jung Yoonoh [17:00]: like the habit of me being inside your guts?

You gasp out after reading his last message, hands awkwardly juggling your phone until you’ve forced yourself to calm down. After waiting for a while, until your face has reached its previous temperature, you feel focused again, and type out your original intentions for this conversation.

you [17:05]: this isn’t what i texted you about.

you [17:07]: we have this project coming up and while I know we aren’t exactly on the best terms, this comeback is very important for me

you [17:08]: and i don’t want to fuck it up

Jung Yoonoh [17:10]: kitty cat, relax. maybe this is a brand new word for you but i know what professionalism is

you [17:10]: don’t you ever and i mean ever call me that again

you [17:11]: glad to see we are on the same page

You didn’t expect a message back, nor did you get one. All you could do from now on, was pray that the promotions would go smoothly and Jaehyun wouldn’t do anything stupid that would jeopardize your collaboration.

------------------------------------------------------

And the day you dreaded finally came. The first day of filming for the music video.

You had already finished recording the song, a bittersweet balad about two lovers who lost their way, only for their paths to cross again. When you listened to the demo for the first time, it only took three notes from Jaehyun’s pre-recorded verse to spread goosebumps on your skin. His voice was deeper and even more developed than you remember. Long forgotten memories, shoved deep inside your brain so as not to leave a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, came flooding up again. But things have changed since then.

The sky was crying rain and lightning, fitting to the storm inside your head. Normally you'd be excited to film a music video, bubbling with energy and unable to contain a smile. Today, all you could do was let your teeth abuse the cuticles of your left thumb, until little drops of blood ruined the fresh manicure you got for the shoot.

Following your manager inside the studio, you take a quick glance at all the props the creative directors have prepared. They were very intricate, filled with all different types of flowers everywhere. Some of the fake rooms looked like classrooms, two others were decorated like teenage bedrooms. It was a lot more than you have anticipated.

“The song will be part of a drama OST, that’s why the budget is higher than usual”, your manager tells you as if he was reading your mind.

He leads you to the changing room, where you try on different outfits your stylist has chosen for you, while simultaneously being briefed on the concept of the music video. It’s kinda cheesy and cute, with you and Jaehyun posing as high-school students falling in love. Certain scenes of the drama, whose plot matches the music video’s, will intercept in between.

You’re seated on the makeup chair, sunk in the uneasiness caused by your co-star. Jaehyun had arrived a few minutes after you, his bare face more handsome than you’ve ever looked in your most glamorous state and you can’t help but stare at him. He is all polite smiles and bows to the staff, and even gives you a formal greeting.

You’re not sure why you just can’t bring yourself to stop your legs from shaking as the makeup artist patiently tries to apply a rosy blush on your cheekbones. It’s like you’re scared that everyone will see right through the both of you, somehow enter your brain and find out that you’re replaying your last encounter with Jaehyun in the music show’s waiting room in your head. As you try to read through his expression, to see if he’s nearly as nervous as you are, you defeatedly can’t decode what’s going on inside his head. Not like you ever could.

You glance at both you and Jaehyun through the mirror, admiring the youthful makeup. Blushy cheeks and innocent eyes of two teenagers in love, masking the raw lust between two nemesi. It couldn’t stray any further from the truth.

A staff member leads both you and Jaehyun (who is refusing to spare even one look your way) back to the main set. The director is passionately explaining what he wants to see from you in your first scene, but you can barely focus with Jaehyun’s eyes burning holes through your school girl outfit. You block him out and walk inside the ‘classroom’, spotting the cameras and sitting on your designated seat, while you wait for your signal to start.

Of course, you had acted before. Yes, you had expected for the director to ask you for some more intimate moments with your co-star. But when Jaehyun passed you a “love note” from the desk in front of you, looking all blushy and shy and with his dimples showing, you felt that the role of crushing schoolgirl became a little too easy for you to act out.

And maybe, just maybe he was feeling the same way too. He looked pretty flustered when he saw you dancing across class, shifting restlessly in his seat when you bent forward to tie your shoelaces. Whether you did it on purpose or not, was a question your ego didn’t allow you to answer truthfully.

Most of the individual shots would be handled at a different shoot, so all you had to do was get over this one day with him. That’s what you repeated yourself over and over again. And you did pretty well, smiling charmingly at the camera, with the director praising you for your “innocent look”. You didn’t miss the scoff slipping from Jaehyun’s lips but you were good at ignoring it, focusing on getting through the different scenes in one-shot.

You were currently leaning your body against the wall, playing with your hair while Jaehyun glances down at you, like a boy that is ready to confess to his first love.

“y/n, I need you to give me something more shy, more bashful”, the director yells eagerly, but you can barely hear him, too focused on regulating your breathing. The look your co-star is giving you right now might seem loving and pure to the staff, but you know all too well the motives hidden behind his facade. It’s the calm before the storm, the silence he purposefully keeps to make you squirm, right before he whispers the most sinful propositions in your ears.

Reading him like an open book, you stand still as he leans closer, just enough so that no one besides you get to hear his words.

“Come on y/n, can’t you act bashful? Or is it impossible for you to get embarrassed after getting fucked against the window of a TV station’s building?”

Clearing your throat, you’re suddenly hyper aware of every single sound and movement in the room. Suffocating, even in the light clothes you were wearing, and desperately trying to mute out his words that bring you back to the day he was repenting.

“When you were pressed up against that glass, moaning my name, all exposed for anyone that simply looked up to see, you weren’t too shy, were you?”

You raise your palm to wipe a bead of sweat that has collected on your temple, and breathe deeply through your nose, as if a good pump of oxygen would cool off the sudden heat between your legs.

“Shut up Jaehyun”, you simply hiss through your front teeth, but he isn’t done yet.

“You know I can’t hold myself when I see you in skirts. So pretty. And you love to tease me in them too, I’ve noticed. Flashing me again and again until you get to suckle on my dick”

You were sure his voice was barely louder than a whisper, but the thought of anyone accidentally prying into your conversation had your whole body raising in temperature. The heat didn’t take long to reach your cheeks and you couldn’t remember the last time your legs felt like jelly, as they do now.

“Perfect y/n, that’s exactly what I’m looking for!”

You blinked back at Jaehyun a couple times, your mind trying to process that the director is cheering you on instead of scolding you to focus. The trembling hands, the fast-paced heartbeat, your big doe eyes. Though involuntarily, you had nailed the scene.

“You’re welcome”, Jaehyun mouths at you just as the staff announces a break. He scurries off to his dressing room without a word, as if he hadn’t just spewed his dirtiest of thoughts on set. It was almost as if he was daring you to follow him, but it’s not like he had left you a choice. You were fuming.

“Jaehyun”, you called out to him strictly but he didn’t acknowledge you, only walked further inside the small room with his name written neatly on the door. He was removing some of the heavier jewellery, rubbing the red lines they had left on his neck and wrist, momentarily catching your eyes on the mirror's reflection. They were misty, unreadable, and with how unpredictable you knew he could be, you decided to close the door behind you.

“Closing the door?”, he muses and in just a few long strides he has managed to trap you between his body and the wooden surface. It is reminiscent of your last meeting at the music show, and the memory of you tying him up doesn’t help with the organizing of your thoughts. “What are you planning on doing to me in here?”

You point one finger against his chest, not enough to create any real distance between you, but it comforts you nonetheless.

“What the fuck was that out there? What happened to professionalism?”

“Relax, kitty cat. I was just helping you act better”. His eyes stayed glued on your hips, once again making you all wound up and jumpy under his stare, “And it worked. You should be thanking me”

“I. Told. You.”, you started, tapping your finger on his sternum to emphasize each word, “Never call me that again. Today’s already hard as it is, why do you have to make it harder?”

He takes one more step towards you, his chest now touching yours and your hand that separated you lands involuntarily on his right peck. As if his presence wasn’t overwhelming enough, you feel a hardness pressing against your thigh, and for a moment you worry he can feel how wet you really are under your skirt. His voice is a low, a deep rumble.

“I don’t know. Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

“You are unbelievable”, you scowl at him and free yourself from his trap. You turn to the big mirror to avoid looking at him anymore, and you come to the embarrassing realization of how fucked out you look right now. You had to get out of there as soon as possible, before you do anything stupid and lose any trace of self control left in you. But not before you gave Jaehyun an earful.

“What I meant was that I am out there, being paid to be all lovey-dovey with you. This is not something easy for me you know. It’s basically prostitution.”

You catch Jaehyun’s eyes in his reflection, and for a fleeting moment they turn a colour that you hadn’t seen them in for a long time. Hurt? Disappointment? Whatever it was, it was gone in a second, replaced by that smile that made him both irresistibly smackable and fuckable at the same time.

“Did it cross your tiny brain that maybe someone could hear you? Staff leaks information all the time! If they found out we were fucking…”

“Were? Past tense?”

“Are. Will be. Whatever.” You sigh, defeated, hiding your eyes with your palms as you face him once again. “Like I said, this is important to me. So no more dirty talk on set. Okay?”

Jaehyun avoided your glance, from embarrassment or uninterest maybe. “Okay”

You continue to sit there silently, but your head is so occupied with a million thoughts that you don’t notice. How you will get through the rest of the shooting, whether your manager is looking for you or not, the coldness of the glass Jaehyun had pressed you against that day. The only thing that snapped you out of it, was him suddenly taking off his shirt.

“What are you doing?”, you ask panicking, but you can’t dismiss the pool of excitement in your belly.

“We have a wardrobe change after the break, remember? And since you refuse to leave my changing room..”

You clear your throat, trying your hardest to rip your eyes away from his abdomen, that you’ve so keenly marked with love bites before. His naked skin must have monopolized your attention way more than you realized, as you can’t remember when he slithered his way closer to you, towering over your height.

“Stare much?”, he almost growls, arousal dripping from his voice.

Every fiber of your being wanted to lurch forward, glide your fingers through his hair and start nibbling at those pretty lips of his. The sexual tension, amplified by the argument you just had, was filling the room like a thick liquid would fill a cup. One more drop, one more second of his staring and it would overflow. It felt so real, that you could feel that drop landing on your forehead. Then another one on your cheek, and that’s when you realized that what you felt was real.

“What the-?”, Jaehyun mumbles as he stares up at the ceiling, a big wet spot staining it and allowing the water drops to slowly wet his styled locks. As you start to put two and two together, someone knocks loudly on the door, making you both jump one feet away from the other.

“Get undressed”, a high-pitched male voice that you recognize as Jaehyun’s manager calls through the door, “the rain is ruining the set. It’s a wrap for today”

———————————————————————

A soft touch on your lower back, an even softer breath making your ears tingle. A tentative kiss on your neck that’s full of purpose and makes you shiver.

And then another touch, this time more south on your body. Fingertips grazing over your sensitive clit. Easily moving through your wetness and finally dipping inside of you. That baritone voice.

“This pussy is mine, isn’t it, kitty cat?”

You look up to meet the face of the familiar voice, only to meet Jaehyun’s baby brown eyes. The pleasure was enough to make you ignore the despised nickname, flowing intensely through your body. You let out a desperate moan, gripping his arms to keep your balance. His fingers are now dragging through your walls and you clench around them instinctively, confused but enamored by his touch. You are falling apart.

“Jaehyun? What are you doing?”

“I want to make love to you”

“Love? But you hate me”

He plants another kiss on the slope of your neck, his hands picking up in pace and making you feel like you’re floating on air.

“Love. Hate. Is there really any difference when I’m here, ready to please you? Willing to make you feel things you have never felt before?”

“You already do”, you admit, only seconds away from your orgasm. The bliss is so close you can almost taste it, but for now you choose to taste his lips. They are so soft and warm that you realize you haven’t kissed Jaehyun since that night at the practice room. How you miss him. Not the group visual, not the idol, not even Jaehyun. Yoonoh.

“Yoonoh”, you moan out against his lips as the pleasure overtakes you, a low buzz humming in your ears, “mmm yes, Yoonoh”

“Who the fuck is Yoonoh?”

You finally wake up, your manager shaking you awake being the first thing you see. The sun’s morning rays are peeking through your blinds, warming your skin in lines. Your phone’s ignored alarm clock is still buzzing on top of your nightstand.

“No one. I’m awake, thanks”

Fuck. That makes it what? The fourth night in a row you dreamt about him?

“Get, up. Quickly. We’re late”

You groaned at the banging of your head that was caused by you getting up so fast. It was early into the morning, as you had to get ready for the mv’s second shooting day. The heavy rainfall wouldn’t allow for the filming to continue for another week, yet aided your growing anxiety of having to encounter Yoon- Jaehyun again.

You felt a little stupid, like a kid that goes to middle school for the first time, anxious but full of butterflies in your stomach in the thought of seeing him again. You weren’t sure who the anger, that came with the inability to control the fresh feelings bubbling from your dream, should be directed at. Your manager for booking you this job? Jaehyun for making it his goal to have you dripping wet on set? You, for letting it all affect you so much?

You decide on the former, giving your poor manager the cold shower for forcing you to deal with the problems you’ve caused yourself. Checking your phone, you realise that you are, indeed, late, and wonder how quick you’re going to have to make your morning shower.

“Is Jaehyun and his team there already?”, you ask your manager as nonchalantly as you could, feigning mildly interested in his answer.

“Oh, they didn’t tell you? The other team asked for the shootings to continue separately”. You felt your stomach drop all the way down to your condo’s basement. And the icing on the cake: “Jung Jaehyun’s request”

Maybe your manager wasn’t as clueless to your electricity, or maybe it was your sudden impulse to pluck every loose thread of the pyjama top you were wearing that made him sense the discomfort following what he’d just said. He plops next to you on your bed, boards creaking in the silent room and you feel his rough hands patting you on the back.

“I’m sure he had an overlap in schedules and needed a break, nothing to do with you”

But you knew better, and you knew your palms wouldn’t stop itching unless you picked up your fucking phone and sent him a message.

you [06:30]: i heard you can’t make it to set today. everything ok?

You wish you never did. The radio silence from his number was way worse than any insult, any form of teasing he could give you on set. You even tried calling him, desperate for an answer, a closure even. Maybe he was busy. Maybe the shooting took longer than expected. Maybe he wasn’t avoiding you; one of his managers uploaded his latest story on his instagram, not him. Maybe at the end of the week he would get back to you.

------------------------------------------------------

Going to his dorm unannounced was not a good idea. Waiting for someone to open the door for you, you hope his members will recognise you from your trainee days, or those rare nights Jaehyun sneaked you in when you were both lonely and in need of a… well, whatever you two were.

You’re starting to worry that whoever saw you from the peephole thought you were a sasaeng and called security, when Mark opens the door. His eyes are wide open behind his glasses, clearly not expecting you and immediately yelling for his ‘Jaehyun hyung’.

Soon, the called male arrives at the apartment’s entrance, annoyed for being interrupted from whatever it was he was doing. “What is it, me and Jungwoo are watching the season fina-“

As if Mark suddenly turned invisible, Jaehyun walks right past him, grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you to his room without another word.

Jungwoo, engrossed with the aforementioned show’s season finale on his computer screen, tries to cover up his naked torso in panic when he notices you.

“Get out.”, Jaehyun orders him, and the younger man knows that his tone is not one to be argued with. It triggers the cold sweat that makes your clothes stick closer to your skin and forces your heartbeat to quicken, pumping blood all over your body. The door closes, leaving you both alone with only the sound of Jungwoo’s laptop still playing in the background. A lighthearted scene that is too oxymoronic against the tension that is just palpable at this point. What the hell were you thinking coming here?

“What the hell were you thinking coming here?”, Jaehyun speaks your thoughts out loud, and you wince at how empty your head is with excuses.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“What?”, he asks dumbly, hoping you would avoid asking again.

“Was it that hard to text me back? Am I such a waste of your time?”

Jaehyun seems angry at your confrontation, his bad mood escalating with every word that is leaving your mouth. He still avoids to look at you, toying with some plushies and decorations next to his bedpost. You realize you never had time to really notice them, barely recognizing them. You always entered the room blindly, pressed up against Jaehyun’s body and with his lips all over your neck, then left as soon as the sex was over. His apathy was infuriating.

One by one, you start to remove all of your outerwear, dropping your clothes on the floor until you’re left in only your bra and jeans. Jaehyun stares at you incredulously, then at the pile of clothes on the floor, unable to make out the reasoning behind your impromptu stripping.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting naked. Seems to be the only time you can actually pay attention to me.”

You reach for the buttons of your jeans, only able to unzip it halfway before Jaehyun has you pinned against the wall behind you, his fingers cool and pressing lightly against your neck.

“I-I fucking hate you!”, he cries, punching the surface to release some of the steam, and lets go of the hold on your neck almost completely. How tempted he is, to just fuck your right against that wall, pour out his anger by pouring out his cum inside you, then ignore each other like you always do.

It’s the easy thing to do, keeping the toxic circle going. All barking and fucking and no real problem gets resolved in the end. He wouldn’t even call a cab for you, preferring to be hated for something he wasn’t than to be rejected for showing the real him. You would still have no idea about his feelings towards you, going around saying how awful he was while asking for a round two. But Jaehyun was tired.

“Can’t you tell that I am trying to distance myself from you?”, he sighs and it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him sound so emotionally exhausted.

“Why do you dislike me so much? We used to be friends and then one day you-“

“Friends? Just friends?”, he interrupts you with a chuckle and a sarcastic puff through his nose, and you shake your head.

“If you also think that what we had was more special than a common friendship then why act like you don’t know me?”

“You were the one who wanted to ‘forget about anything happening and never telling a soul about it’, remember?”

“I thought we came to a mutual agreement! I was just trying to save our careers and it worked Jaehyun, you got to debut and I-“

“And you just threw away everything we had like it was the easiest thing to do! Do you ever want to know how I feel, y/n? First you want nothing to do with me, left the company without even saying goodbye. Then I try to forget about you, become an asshole to keep you out of my life and suddenly you want to jump my bones. One day you just play blind to everything, asking for professionalism and now I’m the one ignoring you? What the fuck do you want? A fuck buddy? A professional? A friend?”

“I want you, Yoonoh. Fuck, I just want you”

You’re not sure which one of you initiates the kiss. His lips are as plump and kissed as hard as you recalled, a couple of tears staining your cheeks that you didn’t realize you were holding back. It felt so right, the way his head pushed and pulled away from yours, always inviting you back to him. One hand was situated over the dimples of your waist, the other lost between your hair, untangling it gently. You decided to lay yours over his heart, feeling its tempo and calming yourself down.

You kiss for what seems like an eternity, so drunk in bliss that you can’t remember how you made it through life without Jaehyun’s taste all over your tongue. When he pulls away from your lips, you almost whine, but his fingertips dabbing at the soft skin of your cheeks feel just as comforting.

“I don’t want us to be like this anymore”, you whisper to him and he nods encouragingly, holding you even closer. “I’m sorry for not reaching out to you all these years ago, I just thought ‘What would a brand new idol want to do with a failed trainee like me’-“

Jaehyun brings your fingers to his lips, kissing all your knuckles one by one and you think you’re gonna burst at the seams. “You weren’t a failure, you were the best thing to happen to me back then”. His voice is so sincere that you don’t dare question the veracity of what he’s saying and you let him continue. “When I saw you again I was so bitter, I decided to turn off my feelings. I think I get too comfortable in that role. I put it on for me, my members, my fans even”, he stops then, laughing sadly, “it’s how I finally got you”

It was your turn to open up his eyes to the truth, holding his face between your hands and admiring its beauty.

“That’s not true. I kept staying because I knew what was hidden behind all that armor. I guess, the sex was the only way to get closer to you”

“Not because I’m good?”, he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and you can feel his dimples forming under your fingers.

“Eh, you’re pretty good too”

He starts pecking your neck, his smile obvious in his kisses and you squeal when he lifts you to his bed. Bouncing on the hard mattress, you let him lay his body weight over yours as he gives you a million traces of his love.

“So, I’m guessing this means we start over?”, he asks reluctantly as he emerges from your half naked body and you hold back from cooing at him.

“I thought you loved to hate me?”

“I think I hate it, but I love you”

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