#and the whole other side house can belong to them and our side with us

[astonmartinii]

Could you do a smau where she’s max’s sister and dominating MotoGP the way max is f1. Maybe they have the typical annoying younger sister/protective big brother relationship and he finds out she’s dating one of the f1 drivers? Xx

cherry lip balm | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x motogp!verstappen!reader

the verstappen siblings run motorsport, but the youngest's f1 allegiances may belong elsewhere

f1 and motogp

liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1,405,466 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername

f1 and motogp: happy international siblings day to max and y/n verstappen, these two have 60 wins between them 🏆

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user1: my faves i love them

user2: the way jos wasn't gonna let them kids do anything else lol

yourusername: + victoria verstappen the patron saint who puts up with both of us love you 🥰

maxverstappen: you mean putting up with you ? i'm a mature man of the world now

yourusername: girl you are fussier than all of our nephews put together mature MY ASS

maxverstappen1: i am mature and i have BOUNDARIES

yourusername: yeah you have boundaries between all your food you bland man

victoriaverstappen: i think you just proved y/n right

user3: they are the most unhinged people ever i feel so bad for victoria lol

user4: patiently waiting for y/n's championship

marcmarquez93: no marquez representation?

yourusername: you need to serve more

maxverstappen1: you guys don't have the verstappen sass

user5: someone needs to stop them 😭

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 832,771 others

yourusername: the two sides of a race week

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user6: the way she won this race and was like yeah i need that 0.5 of me drinking coffee actually

yourusername: it's a hot chocolate cause i'm a child

user7: are we all collectively ignoring the whole ass man on the last slide?

maxverstappen1: no we're not Y/N Y/M/N VERSTAPPEN CALL ME THIS INSTANT

yourusername: calm it on the all caps and maybe i'll call you

maxverstappen1: MAYBE?

yourusername: well that's not making it any better maxie

user8: i can't loose this parasocial relationship y/n get that man's hands off of you now

landonorris: y/n please pick up max's call he's threatening to throw my monza trophy PLEASE PICK UP I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY TROPHIES

yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about all caps and then come back

landonorris: y/n may you please call your beloved brother back so my very limited trophy collection does not get destroyed

yourusername: sure just for you lando ❤️

maxverstappen1: STOP FLIRTING PLEASE

yourusername: i just picked up ... and ur still commenting (plus that's not lando in the pic btw he's too skinny to be him)

landonorris: why am i getting bullied by both verstappens today, i'm just trying to help :(

maxverstappen1

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,034,661 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: there's no party like a verstappen party and a verstappen-only party with no BOYFRIENDS because they don't exist :)

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user14: ahaha passive aggressive max is my fave

yourusername: just cause you're too much of a pussy to ask charles out so i can't have a boy friend?

maxverstappen1: what?

yourusername: what?

user15: max as overprotective brother is my new favourite thing

danielricciardo: i fear y/n is 22 years old and her own woman

yourusername: awwww thanks danny at least one man here has SENSE

maxverstappen1: how much did she pay you to comment that?

danielricciardo: she didn't pay me but my house plant currently at hers was being held at gun point

yourusername: i would never

danielricciardo: so i can delete my comment

yourusername: do that and sheila gets it

user16: i know we should be more concerned with max going insane, but daniel's choice of name for his house plant is the most pressing issue

user17: hear me out but for comedic purposes ... i need y/n's bf to be a driver

maxverstappen1: do not speak that into the universe

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 808,943 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: i like the taste of her cherry lip balm

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user22: what 😭 the 😭 fuck 😭

yourusername: you don't taste half bad either ;)

oscarpiastri: come back to bed

maxverstappen1: NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT MY SISTER

oscarpiastri: how do you know my middle name?

maxverstappen1: i called your mum, anyhow YOU ARE A DEAD MAN

oscarpiastri: how did you get my mum's number?

maxverstappen1: i'm trying to threaten you please stop asking questions

yourusername: maxy please stop trying to be scary i know you still wear footy pjamas at christmas

maxverstappen1: well i hope oscar is terrified by my christmas spirit

user23: i feel like i lose brain cells watching y/n and max talk to each other

user24: we ignoring the fact that max managed to get oscar's mum's number just to ask for his middle name PETTY KING

maxverstappen1: it was more than a middle name, i needed a character witness

yourusername: CHARACTER WITNESS? YOU WORK WITH HIM? YOUR BEST FRIEND IS HIS TEAMMATE?

maxverstappen1: i understand you are making points and no one has a bad word to say about him ... but i've got to stick to the bit now

oscarpiastri: so i'm not going to die in hungary?

maxverstappen1: no. but keep all your business to yourself, i don't need to know what lip balm my sister uses and that you own a bed

oscarpiastri: got it 🫡

user25: well that was dramatic

maxverstappen1

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,203,788 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

maxverstappen1: congrats on your first podium in f1 oscar, welcome to the family i guess ... don't take photos on my phone every again

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user28: so we can all say oscar has max's approval now?

user29: mans was like wow he challenged me in the race he has the stamp of approval now

yourusername: jokes on you we look great @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri: and what the people don't know is that max was also doing face masks with us

maxverstappen1: not the serve you think it is i am very secure in my masculinity

yourusername: i'm glad you've gotten over your weird older brother act ... does this mean you'll both come to my next race?

oscarpiastri: i'll be there :)

maxverstappen1: i guess

yourusername: whooooooooop finally

user30: the way i am so happy for oscar i feel like i've been on this journey with him

user31: honestly rookie of the year and it's not even close

user30: i was talking about him and max... but yeah he's doing great !!!

landonorris: can i also get a pass for your next race y/n for keeping it a secret?

maxverstappen1: WHAT

yourusername: ur so dumb i actually can't

oscarpiastri: i'm not helping you here dude i just got approval

landonorris: well now i regret helping you guys

maxverstappen1: open your door lando

user32: is he dead?

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 1,348,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri

yourusername: fifth win of the season, my family and the love of my life, what could be better

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user33: i feel like the shit storm of max and oscar has defo distracted us from the fact that f1 and motogp fans are suffering through a verstappen winning nearly every race

maxverstappen1: i want everyone to appreciate my character growth as i took that gross ass last photo

yourusername: thank you maxy, what a sacrifice

oscarpiastri: thanks dude, you did push me in the water right after though

maxverstappen1: uh you snooze you lose, a verstappen rule of life, you had no phone on you so fair game, i thought you wanted to be part of this family

oscarpiastri: I DO ... does this mean i can push you in next time?

maxverstappen1: absolutely not.

yourusername: do it anyway osc i'll protect you babe

oscarpiastri: idk i'm scared

yourusername: he's ticklish he's so easy to beat

maxverstappen1: THAT WAS A SECRET Y/N

user34: if you told me last season that i'd see max go from wanting to kill piastri to being brothers with him and that i'd know he wears footy pjs and is ticklish i'd laugh in ur face

maxverstappen1: ONLY AT CHRISTMAS

oscarpiastri: don't worry mate i think it's cute

maxverstappen1: okay now i prefer you over y/n

yourusername: who? what? where? when? why?

oscarpiastri: soz babe you snooze you lose

note: ahhhhh i really enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy i love writing comment domestics if you couldn't tell lol xx

[r0manceplanet]

can i ask how it would be like to be coolkid and or bluududes best friend? (i love them)

Of course! I’m so happy you asked me for this! I’ve been wanting to write bluudude for a while now ^_^ I’m sorry for the hold up and I hope this is worth the wait!

⚠️Warning: mention(s) of character death, bluudude may be a bit ooc since I don’t know much of his personality at all.

BLUUDUDE 🧢

• You being best friends with bluudude takes a whole new level of being best friends. He will never stop bragging you to come and be by his side.

• He would drag you to go and play pranks on other people, this little bastard is the type of kid who steals other peoples belongings and even shoplifts, and y’all get away with it each time.

• He would definitely go all out for holidays, like your birthday, Valentine’s Day, etc. you guys definitely have this thing where you make a basket for each other to give on the holidays full of candy, money, and some things that you both have wanted.

• He’s definitely the type of kid who challenges you to dance battles, I just feel it idk why 😭 he’ll just randomly challenge you to dance with him and he’ll just turn on the music and dance. He wins too btw.

• It’s a daily thing for the both of you where you walk back home from school together and you guys are always gossiping about your classmates and the teachers, or about the next test or quiz coming up that you both hate, and once you arrive to either of your guy’s houses you both just drop on the couch exhausted and watch a show until you guys gain energy again.

• Never expect him to do anything that would break your friendship, you guys will never have any serious arguments about anything, and if you do you guys always talk it, he’s a very mature friend, and probably a friend we can all use in our life.

C00LKIDD🎈

• Now, this child is mischievous AS HELL. He goes all out on pranks, he even pulls pranks on you! Well, at least not so much since he doesn’t wanna make you pissed at him.

• You guys have been friends since the start of elementary school for sure. No one could break you both apart, not even move you away from the classroom! You are only friends with him during all of this though, which isn’t bad at all! He’s an amazing friend :)

• I feel like before 007n7 was killed by c00lkidd he would always welcome you into his house to hang out with c00lkidd, and you guys have this thing where you sleep over at his house for the weekend and 007n7 would bring you guys any fast food you wanted back home, which you both thank him for a lot.

• I don’t know if this is just me but I feel like c00lkidd would get jealous if you were to make any new friends, I know it’s toxic but he just doesn’t wanna lose you to anyone else! So they go missing the next day, and when you ask, he’ll shrug and say “I don’t know”, in which that makes you believe him… and don’t expect to find out sooner or later, you must likely won’t.

• Like your friendship with bluudude, you guys will always get gifts for each other for holidays, even on some of the most random days to! It’s like a token of appreciation from him for being his best friend for so long!

• He’s also another top tier best friend, you guys will definitely be best friends for the rest of your lives, he’ll never hurt or betray you in any way, your really important to him and he hopes that you are too <3.

[karlachismylife]

Local Spot || The Queen of the Clan pt.6

CW: fem!chubby!reader, some tame unwanted attention.

If not for man-made structures, you wouldn’t be able to tell the border between the territory of the natural reserve you got your filming permit for and the sanctuary that cuts off a smaller part of the landscape. Fenced off, it looks just the same – no surprise there, to be honest; sunlit tall grass, sandy and dusty ground and scattered trees, shielding the inhabitants with their shadow. No doubt, they have water sources too – everything in sanctuary’s power to tend to quite simple needs of animals that can’t be let out back into the wild after surviving each their own trauma. Driving past the tall mesh that makes sunbeams ripple when hitting your little Rover caravan, you try covering your eyes to look into the reserve, but no animals come close to the road, hidden securely somewhere deep in their new forever home.

“I hope you’re prepared to be blown away by the luxurious housing, we’re working our asses off to impress city cookies like you here.” With a distinct chuckle, Kir beckons you inside, holding a simple plywood door open for you and dropping your backpack from his shoulder on the porch of the little cabin – a whole line of them drags along a narrow road, animals’ enclosures basically on the other side of the “street”. Land too expensive, government too hesitant to “lose” everything it could provide by leaving it as untouched reserve; thus, someone had to make room for their neighbours, and humans decided to sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of the animals.

“Check this out,” Kir waits until you finish looking around the single room that serves as bedroom, living room, office – even a kitchen, if you can count the tiny portable stove and a kettle on a counter – and with a theatric gesture of a magician opens a narrow door, revealing the tiniest bathroom behind it: a toilet, a small sink hanging off a wall and just a cheap curtain to separate the shower area with a drain in  the floor. “Not bad, huh? No hot tub, but pretty close. Don’t recommend you putting candles and champagne there, though, if you even mange to find those around here somehow…” Laughing with you at the deeply impressed and amazed expression you feigned at the sight of your lavish bathroom, Kir raises a finger calling for your attention once more and then struggles with the sink tap for a moment, finally getting it to sneeze and run clean water. “Actually working plumbing. You feeling like a queen yet?”

“Grandiose, brother,” you snort and come closer to hold a handful under the stream, gathering slightly warm water and using it to wipe sweat from your face and neck. “But no, really, don’t think there’s much more I could need, so this is perfect. You’re my neighbour or what?”

“I’m just three cabins away, door’s always open for you.” Having closed the tap, Kir shuffles his way out of the cramped space and leaves your cabin, hands in his pockets. Remembering something, he turns on his heels and nods at your backpack. “Laundry’s in the main building, there are bags to separate yours, it’s all done together in the mornings so it’s best to leave yours in the evening. Oh, and I’ll ask around about something to get rid of the stink.”

With a dazzling grin and a wink, Kir salutes you and finally turns his back, returning to work and leaving you to sort through your belongings and settle in. If everything goes well, you’ll spend just a few days here before the head of your crew successfully prolongs the filming permit and you head out into the savannah once more. Having this bureaucratic delay doesn’t feel good, but in a weird way you feel relieved.

You don’t think you would be able to leave this place without a heavy heart if the shoot lasted just three weeks like planned initially.

Settling on the top step of your low porch, you pull your backpack closer and hold your breath instinctively, even though a week in the wild has somewhat tamed the stink. It’s not strong per se, but it has a stinging undertone of concentrated boiled soap, to the point where it almost tastes sweet on the back of your mouth roof. Scoffing, you pull your belongings out of it, throwing crinkled plastic bags onto the floor behind you.

Finally reaching the one with dirty laundry inside, you grab it along with the empty backpack itself and make your way all the way to the main building, quick to find the laundry room – just as tiny as everything else. You empty your crumpled laundry into a nice canvas bag and write down the slightly scraped off number on it to know which one to pick up later, and then drop off the backpack in the corner, only just noticing teeth marks on it in several places – a chewed up strap mostly.

Somehow you don’t even doubt it was all Stinky’s doing.

“Adorable bastard,” you grumble under your breath and nearly ram into Kir’s firm chest at the door, too distracted with thoughts of your spotted acquaintance trotting around somewhere in the yellowish grass of the savannah.

“You called?” He laughs watching you roll your eyes and squeezes past you with a pat on your shoulder, a spray bottle of some kind in his hands along with his own laundry. “It’s for your aromatherapy backpack. If you want, you can spray it yourself, I’ll finish my shift sooner and we’ll hit the town. Bet you didn’t get a good look around when you arrived, yeah?”

Only fair for you to deal with your stink problem yourself, Kir already went above and beyond to help you, so you take the spray from his hand and return to the corner to drag your backpack outside, humming in response.

“No, they picked us up pretty quickly… only saw the bus station basically.” You shake the rattling bottle and make a trial spray, high-pressure mist with another harsh, sweet smell – most similar to a mosquito repellent – bursting into the air. The sticker on the can reads as some water- and sweat-repellent for shoes. “Anything interesting to see?”

The spray hisses, covering your backpack in a generous cloud of chemical smell and slight plastic-y glint after it settles. From inside the laundry room Kir raises his voice, admitting that there’s basically nothing except a couple stores and a dingy bar that can be of interest – it’s still worth it, you decide: just fifteen minutes of scootering down a bumpy dirt road and you get to buy something to treat yourself after a week on canned food and maybe even get a drink.

“I’ll come knock on your door then after I finish, then.” Kir leaves the laundry room and catches the spray can you throw him – if your watering eyes and coughing are any indicators, you’ve applied more then enough. Hanging the backpack outside to let it air out the possibly deadly concoction of sweat repellent and hyena sprayings, you finally drag yourself to your cabin.

A cool shower and a little bit of gentle persuasion via banging on the kettle stand until the loose contact clicks and the heating starts, you settle on your porch with your thermos and breathe in deeply. Nothing disturbs you, the feeling of being watched forgotten like it wasn’t even there. Must have really been the savannah getting in your head..

Sun is slowly sliding to the west, still high, but already a bit dimmed and oranged by the incoming dusk. Dry, clear air is rippling and throbbing above the ground, cooling off, weak wind snaking through the dust of the little road. Crickets and cicadas are chirping repetitively, like an ancient ethnic instrument from the good old times when music had more rhythm than melody. From your steps, you can’t make out which direction the call comes from, but somewhere on the sanctuary’s territory roars a buffalo – must be that young bull Kir told you to be careful around.

Two of the sanctuary employees walk past you, dirty gloves and sweaty noses – they smile and nod at you, barely interrupting a lively discussion, something about water going green in one of the biggest water sources. That’s not good, you think, but they don’t look particularly worried. More like confident.

Like they know what they’re doing and why.

Closing your eyes, you take another deep breath and sip your tea, careful not to burn your mouth. Red and pink prints of the vascular system in your eyelids mix with the way you already saw sky go up in flames at sunsets here, a peaceful feeling washing over you. There’s serenity in the way life flows measuredly around here, clocks and calendars slowly growing meaningless in the face of greater time countdown – seasons and solar cycles dictating times to migrate, to hunt, to procreate. People here made the decision to tie their lives to the nature, preserving and studying, and thus their time obeys the same laws, no hectic anxiety of semesters, quarter reports and tight schedules keeping them in a never-ending race.

It’s a blessing – to do the right thing with a reasonable pace, day after day, knowing you have something meaningful to do every time you wake up. In the outside world no one thinks highly of someone digging elbow-deep into the green mud of a small pond antelopes come to drink from, but here it matters.

You’d like to matter.

“Thinking of me with that smile on your face, I hope?” Kir’s cheeky voice drives you out of the meditative headspace and you open your eyes lazily, wrinkling your nose at him – he even made sure to approach you in a way that wouldn’t obstruct the softened sunrays caressing your face.

“Yeah, you wish. We’re going already?” With a grunt, you raise to your feet with his assistance, noticing just how long you must’ve been sitting there, daydreaming. Kir nods and plops a helmet on your head, adjusting the strap under your chin.

“Shopping first, then the bar?” He leads you to the several scooters in sanctuary’s possession, rolling the most new-looking, sandy and just slightly scraped on the wings, on the road and helping you onto it. The machine dips under your combined weight, but Kir doesn’t seem concerned, starting up the engine and driving off the sanctuary territory.

Nearby town can barely pass as one, looking more like a glorified village – small buildings, no higher than three stories, basically a single curved street between them and continuing on to the bigger road. Finally seeing it in the daylight and without the exhaustion of a long trip that kept weighing your eyelids down when you first arrived there on a bus to be picked up by your crew, you find it just as charming – as well as noticing some larger signs of civilization a couple kilometers to the west, tall power transmission poles and antennas around some fenced off facility.

While you try to remember if there was something industrial mentioned when you read about the place you were going to, Kir drags you inside a cramped convenience store, literal mountains of fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts in crates at the entrance and the most random selection of imported goods on the shelves – in a moment of weakness, you pick up some suspiciously looking lime-flavoured crisps and a few cans of cold soda from a fridge that sounds like a fighter aircraft going down from a direct hit, but still manages to keep products inside cool and wet with the condensate.

You leave the store, chewing on some dried fruits Kir helped you choose – even got a discount from a familiar cashier that was happy to inform that they can place orders for some goods if you’re planning to stay longer. Behind your cheerfully polite smile you felt that same wave of belonging that keeps coming back to you.

“We’re a bit late, so all the tables are probably taken, do you mind sitting at the bar?” After you leave your groceries in the scooter trunk, Kir leads you up to the pub, its neon sign already glowing in the slowly approaching darkness, and holds the door open, nodding at the bar counter with just three free stools to your luck.

Keeping in mind that he has “precious cargo” to deliver back, as he calls you, he orders a coke for himself and pays for your cider, promising that it’s one of the things you can actually drink there.

“That’s my favourite, the pear one. When I come here on foot, always grab a bottle or two.” You lean onto the counter, feet dangling above the dirty wooded floor, as you chat with him – he indulges you in the town gossip with some additions from the bartender, making you chuckle as the cider tickles the roof of your mouth. It’s actually good, you admit, and Kir buys you another one before leaving to the bathroom “to see if they have another spider infestation”, which earns him a shoulder slap from the bartender.

When you turn to watch him make way through packed room, you feel your heart stop for a moment, like a prey that finally notices it’s being watched. It’s a fleeting sensation that almost immediately disappears, but you almost hit yourself in the teeth with the bottle neck, once you notice them.

Four men in the furthest corner, staring at you openly – they’re not trying to be discreet, the bearded one saluting you with his whiskey tumbler and two of his buddies flashing you smiles. Friendly smiles, not the ones that make your skin crawl in similar bar encounters back in the big city. Even the one with his face covered by a mask and arms crossed over his bulky chest nods at you and sinks further in his seat, as if it could help him look smaller and less threatening. They seem chill, clearly minding their own business and avoiding the other patrons in that corner, not interested in the rowdy fun of a work day evening among tired people unwinding before heading home.

To fight that initial creeped out feeling, you nod back at them, quickly averting your gaze with a chuckle once you see them light up almost too obviously. Must’ve been ogling you for quite some time, if the smallest acknowledgement gets you such a reaction. It’s kinda sweet, their excitement radiating from the corner, and you watch from the corner of your eye them exchanging a few words before one of them has to force the big guy with a mohawk back into his seat, as if he was already ready to rush through the bar to talk to you.

“I go away for five minutes, and you’re already making eyes at someone?” Your eyes shoot up to see smiling Kir, but as you watch his expression change once he glances over his shoulder at your four watchers, your brows knit together. “Oh, no, cookie, you stay away from that folk, alright? Come on, let’s go, before they come up here.”

Before you even can object, Kir tugs on your elbow insistently, and you have no choice but to grab your almost finished bottle, say a hasty goodbye to the bartender and follow him, stumbling from the sheer force he drags you with, clearly in hurry to get out of the tightly packed bar.

“Hey, can you at least explain? I’m coming, don’t need to drag me, you know,” you try to keep your irritation down. After all, he has done nothing but look out for you, and if there’s anyone you can trust to know all locals, it’s him. Still, you steal a glance at the four-men company and get the unsettling feeling once again, this time not without a reason: the concentrated, slightly frowning looks all four of the men watch you leave with, don’t feel as friendly anymore.

It's only outside, once the night breeze strokes your heated from the alcohol and crowd proximity cheeks, that Kir lets go of your arm and sighs, putting the helmet on you. His voice sounds hushed, and he looks you dead in the eyes, as he says:

“Don’t mess with them, don’t even talk to them, okay? No one wants them here, they’re not locals. The less business we have with them, the better, especially since you’re here just temporarily. I don’t trust them, and you shouldn’t either. Can you promise?”

By the way you look at him, utterly confused, Kir finally realizes how paranoid he sounds and runs a hand over his face, before looking around and leaning to your ear to say even quieter:

“They’ve been roaming around for months already, cookie. They’re military. They’re bad news from the West.”

Suddenly, you realize what that fenced off facility you saw earlier was. A military base.

Just twenty minutes away from the natural reserve.

Part 5 | Part 6.5 | Part 7

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

Tagging: @elaineiswithyou-blog @creepingeva @my-halo-is-a-little-broken @sillymanjaro @ihatethinkingofnames10 @ravensfeatheruniverse @yaminax @ljh861 @darkangel4121 @ginger-n-coco @grey-shadow6475 @cryingpages @mothsdrabbles @mc-glare-is-king @vixxie22 @aldis-nuts @terraantarctica @henhouse-horrors @blizzivy @perfectus-in-morte @danielle143 @llavalada @yukichan67 @sleepisfortheweakpooh @ilxina @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @misscaller06 @etherealinthewoods

[calicomarie11]

Tommy is a dumbass, but Buck loves him anyways.

Just because it seems warranted on tonight of all nights, I'm sharing a bit of my current WIP. This was all written before tonight's episode, so it doesn't match up with canon.

Subject to change before it gets posted to AO3 because I'm trying this crazy thing where I actually write the whole fic before I start posting chapters.

-------------

Tommy threw the strap of his duffle bag over his shoulder and wearily trudged up the front steps of his house, ready to sleep and wallow for the next two days until it was time to go back on shift. 

He went to unlock his front door and paused as the handle turned easily in his hand. He wasn’t the type to forget to lock up and it didn’t look like the door had been forced. He cautiously pushed the door open and eased into the house. He set down his bag carefully and grabbed the baseball bat he kept propped next to the door. (Look, his neighborhood was safe enough, but this was LA and weird shit happened all the time.)

Gripping the baseball bat tightly, Tommy made his way down the front hallway, ear cocked for the noise of intruders. As he approached the living room, the sounds of a baseball game on the tv got louder. 

“Goddamit, he was safe,” a familiar voice shouted, and Tommy eased up his grip on the bat. He set it down as he walked into his living room and spotted Eddie stretched out on his couch, a bottle of his beer in hand as he watched the Rangers losing to the Cubs. 

“Diaz,” he said, “What the fuck are you doing in my house?”

“Kinard,” Eddie snarked back in return. “Just stopping by to see if you were going senile in your old age. See, my best friend, Buck, you remember him? Came to my house with a hilarious story about you trying to dump him. Given the fact I had to drag you past that jewelry store when you started staring at engagement rings in the window the last time we went out to catch a movie, I find it a little hard to believe.” Eddie took long drink of his beer as he cocked an eyebrow at Tommy.

Tommy huffed and stalked out of the room to go to the kitchen. If he’s going to do this, he’s at least going to have a beer.  He yanked open the door of his fridge with a little too much force, knocking a few magnets loose and sending a handful of pictures to drift to the floor. He grabs a beer and sets in on the counter before bending down to pick up the photos. 

Evan and him in a beach selfie, a shot of Tommy and Evan on either side of Christopher from the first time Tommy tagged along to the zoo, a photo of the 118 in their Halloween Fest finery and a shot of Tommy swinging Jee around in Bobby and Athena’s backyard. He stacks them neatly and places them next to his beer on the counter. 

He wants to put them back up, where they belong. But they don’t really belong there now that he told Evan goodbye.  He picks up the stack again and opens the junk drawer. He closes the drawer again and then sets the pile face down to be dealt with later. He grabs his beer and heads back to his living room and his ex-boyfriend’s best friend.

Eddie is still shouting at the tv when he returns. He waits until Tommy sits down next to him to pout, “Where’s my beer?”

“You invited yourself, you can get your own damn beer,” Tommy growls. He makes a point of relaxing back into the couch and keeps his eyes trained on the tv. “How’d you get in anyways?” Tommy would have remembered giving Eddie a key.

“Switched keys with Buck.”

Tommy turns to look at Eddie, confused. “Then how did Evan drive home?”

“Man, other then the key for your house and one for Maddie’s place, 99% of our keys are the same. I have the spare for the Jeep and he has the spare for the truck in case one of us gets locked out.”

Tommy shakes his head at this new revelation. “Anyone ever tell you how weirdly codependent you two are?”

“We are not codependent, we are practical and efficient,” Eddie said in an affronted tone.“Besides, where’s your spare key for the truck?” he asked, his smirk communicating that he already knew the answer.

“With Evan,” Tommy confirmed. “Which means you currently have it. You should give me those keys before you leave.”

“Nope. You’re going to have to talk to Buck if you want your keys back,” Eddie said. 

“We could trade, Buck’s house key for mine?” Tommy tried.

 “No deal. If Buck doesn’t want you to have a key, he’ll ask for it back. Besides, half of LA has keys to Buck’s place at this point.”

“What?” Tommy said, surprise in his voice.

“Well, dude gets hurt so often and usually doesn’t have a partner to help out so everybody pitches in. Off the top of my head there’s me, Maddie, Bobby, Hen, Chim, Albert, Ravi, May, Chris of course, Carla, and there’s a spare at the firehouse on the master key ring. Oh, and the neighbors across the hall have a key.”

“Why would the neighbors need a key?”

“Buck locked himself out one time taking out the trash on the super’s night off so he asked Rose and Ethel to keep a key just in case.  Worked out, because they don’t mind watering his plants when he’s in the hospital for more then a few days.”

“Rose and Ethel? Does he live across the hall from septuagenarians?”

Eddie huffed, “Worse, trust fund babies. But they’re harmless. I’m surprised you haven’t met them yet.”

“Wait, does one of them have a septum piercing and the other one has pink hair?”

“Ironically, Rose is the one with the piercing. Anyways, stop trying to distract me and answer the damn question. What the hell, Kinard?” Eddie speared him with a piercing stare.

“I could kick you out,” Tommy said under his breath, although apparently not quiet enough.

“You could try,” Eddie scoffed. 

Tommy side-eyed Eddie. He knew he could take the slighter man, but he also knew he didn’t want to. He wasn’t quite ready to give up on the friendships he’d made or rekindled through his connection to Evan. Sure, Eddie was acting in his role as Evan’s best friend right now, but they had their own relationship.

“Why are you here?” Tommy asked, frustration evident. He hadn’t expected that Eddie would want anything to do with him after he had broken up with Evan and he’d tried to make his peace with that.

“My friend is being a dumbass, where else would I be? Seriously, man, what’s going on?” Eddie asked, and Tommy wants to talk about it, but he can’t trust it will stay between them. 

That was always the problem with his friendship with Eddie, it included Evan. He got that they were a package deal, and when he and Evan were good that wasn’t a problem. But now, he couldn’t just unload on Eddie and not expect it to get back to Evan.

“I’m not talking to you about this. I get that you want to help, but this is between me and Evan.” He tried to resist asking, but the curiosity won out. “What did he tell you?”

“Just that you blindsided him and started talking about taking some time apart, that he needed to get out there and explore his “sexuality” and how you didn’t want to hold him back. At least, that’s what I could make out before he doom spiraled and started dissecting the past month to figure out what he had done wrong.” Eddie narrowed his eyes at him. “You know he was expecting you to ask him to move in at that dinner, right?” 

And Tommy can see how Evan might have come to that conclusion when he’d asked him over. They’d been together 8 months and Evan spent more nights at Tommy’s then at his own loft. Evan bought groceries and brought them to his house so he could try out new recipes and he’d started hinting about how the backyard was big enough for a dog and Tommy had realized that half the laundry he’d folded last week had belonged to Evan. 

And he could see it, his future with Evan. A shared home, a supportive group of family and friends, hosting Thanksgiving because Evan really wants to deep fry a turkey and no one will let him try it at their homes. Marriage and kids and pets and joy. An end to the search, an end to being alone, the beginning of the rest of his life. 

And he panicked. Because 8 months ago Evan thought he was straight, he’d never kissed a man other then Tommy and one day he was going to wake up and realize that he settled for the first guy to make a move on him. And then he’d resent Tommy and it would be the beginning of the end. 

So instead of asking Evan to move in, he’d sent him away. At least, he’d tried to. 

He’d stumbled through a standard break up speech, the kind of thing he’d heard dozens of times during his life. It’s not you, it’s me. This is moving too fast. I think we should take some time apart, explore our options. 

And Evan had frowned at him, his brow furrowed as if Tommy was speaking a foreign language. He’d stuttered out a “Wh-what the fuck are you talking about?”midway through Tommy’s speech and then as Tommy kept trying to make him understand he’d started laughing. He’d actually patted the back of Tommy’s hand and said simply “No.”

It had stopped Tommy in his tracks. “No? You can’t refuse a breakup, Evan,” Tommy had said.

“Sure I can. I’m going to go and let you have your ‘time apart’ but this is not finished between us, Kinard.” And then he’d left and apparently headed straight for Eddie.

“Earth to Kinard,” Eddie snarked at him. “You want to spill what’s going through that fat head of yours? Because I, for one, can’t believe you are fumbling this. And I thought Buck was the idiot in your relationship.” 

Tommy felt a growl in his chest at the insult to Evan, no matter how lovingly offered. Evan was not an idiot, he was brilliant. He was smart and funny and warm and so open and he was going to destroy him when he left. So Tommy left first. 

“Eddie, I mean this with love, but leave it the fuck alone. You can stay if you want, catch the rest of the game but I am not talking about this with you.” 

Eddie shrugged, “All right, bro. Just be prepared for your man to go full Buck on you.” He chuckled as he toasted Tommy with the dregs of his beer. He got up to grab another from the kitchen. 

“I don’t know what that means,” Tommy yelled after him. “What does that even mean?” he muttered under his breath. 

[jessource]

TRAP (2024) SENTENCE STARTERS.

we're not gonna break any laws.

you caught me. i admit it.

it is important that my hand stays on your shoulder at all times.

this is literally the best day of my life!

he was a man who had a scarring relationship with his mother.

don’t feel like you have to stay here to be polite.

can i visit your home?

i'm gonna be right back. i'm gonna try to get you help.

i used to be brave like the storm on a sea.

sorry. i didn't mean to upset you.

[name], listen to me. your husband is the butcher.

maybe you thought i was having an affair.

i'm not following you.

i specifically said i wanted honeysuckle sour kombucha, bitch.

must be something to be that loved, right?

what a mess we made.

what's the code?

i saw you make up a lie once.

what was it about it that didn’t feel right, [name]?

she could start a cult.

a bird belongs Anywhere but caged.

…i think you’re looking for me.

i'm not great at a lot of things [name], but keeping my two lives separate is not one of them.

can i talk to you alone for a moment?

i didn’t know what would happen.

i feel such rage towards you, [name].

maybe the trap wasn't set there at the concert. maybe it was set here.

i have a dark side. you don’t want to see it.

have you lost your mind?

let me see you one last time.

that's why it can be so very lethal in small spaces.

i wonder what's down there?

no, i'm not making it up. i'm not making it up.

you’re gonna sit in your seat or you’re gonna be punished.

you are not responsible for hurting me.

when i had a second to think about it, it kinda dawned on me how this might have happened.

she looks like someone that i used to know.

that frickin’ nutjob that goes around just chopping people up?

we should have come earlier.

my father left when i was seven.

you lied so convincingly…

tell me anything you remember to help me find you.

well… the reason i wanted to talk to you… is…

there's a ghost in my house.

i held that anger for a long time.

so, what does "crispy" mean?

i’ve never felt this before.

he’s here and he’s trying to figure out a way out.

they set up a trap for him.

i'm not someone to be provoked.

[name] was really hurt by all of this.

i'm sure they've made a mistake, [name].

that would be like the worst idea.

just in case we get separated, meet me at the orange drink stand right outside the tunnel.

who were you talking to?

you’re not squeamish, are you?

[name], you keep leaving.

we can talk about it later.

"hamilton".

don’t move! hands behind your head!

hey, maybe if we all scream his name, he might hear us.

maybe i'll be a singer.

it’s funny how we knew each other so well.

you want me to come? i feel bad.

i'm sure it's a misunderstanding.

it's not too late to take up the offer.

the hell are you doing out here?

don't mess with me, [name].

i'm really glad i saw you again. i can tell that you’re upset.

the reason i wanted to talk to you... is... i think you're looking for me.

this individual is not a projection of our fears.

we'll get there when you wanted to get there.

stop telling stories! monsters aren't real.

i guess we know things without knowing them.

it was who i was.

that could never be true, everyone's in pieces.

there’s no way to get out of here, except backstage, i guess.

i want you to try to forgive them.

what's going on with those girls at school?

[name], you wanna come dance with me?

um, so, i'm sure you know how this works, right?

what’s your code? i mean… if you can say. idon’t want you to get into trouble.

this whole concert, it's a trap.

here. let me help you with that.

did i tell you, you could talk back to me, [name]?

after this, i won't leave you.

i don't want to be around people.

what would i hear at one of your lectures?

hey. why don’t we go outside for a second?

remember what the profiler said.

they’re watching all the exits. they’re checking everyone that leaves.

just come see me in like… ten minutes. all right?

i'm not supposed to tell. don’t rat me out.

wait. wait, wait, wait, wait. i gotta tie my shoe.

they gave us a code to say in each section of the arena in case we got stopped by the police. real undercover stuff.

that's unfair, i'm twelve.

wait, isn’t this one of the songs you always play?

hey, what's with all the police trucks outside and the cameras everywhere, jamie?

if we get into a confrontation with our unsub, our job is to get him alone, away from civilians as quickly as possible.

pass it forward, as they say.

they wouldn’t be real, honey. don’t let people fool you.

hey, we should climb down and see where it leads.

no dad jokes, this is serious.

we're late, this is frustrating.

i am upset. my daughter was hurt.

bro! you're strong.

let’s keep it clear who we’re dealing with.

you know, i'm kind of obsessed with him.

i don't really wanna talk about it.

she waved at me.

put me down.

you're acting strange.

i think i got a good photo.

here, you can use my stash.

[unangelic-thoughts]

Forgive me...I want you. (Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader)

Summary: After a drunken mistake where you expose yourself to your aunt's boyfriend, you unknowingly start something between you beyond your wildest dreams…

Warnings: NSFW smut 18+, infidelity, age gap, masturbating while being watched, phone sex (sorta?? but more like window sex??)

Word Count: 3k

Author’s note: A specific part in this is loosely inspired by taylor swift's 'you belong with me' scene where they see each other through their bedroom windows…hehe…;)

Reblogs and interactions are most appreciated <333

I walk as quietly as I can up the stairs of the house I currently live in with my parents so as to not wake them at one thirty in the morning. Although I'm in my mid twenties and would love nothing more but to have my own place, rent is ridiculously expensive and I'd rather save up for as long as I can. Thankfully for me, I get along with them both and we respect each other's privacy - so it works.

I shut the door to my bedroom quietly, extending my hand to the wall beside me to switch the light on. I take my cross-body bag off over my head and throw it on my bed with a sigh. Running my hands through my hair, I think back to today's unfortunate events. From deciding to surprise my girlfriend on our six month anniversary, to catching her in bed with my best friend, to going from bar to bar with my sweet Angel of a cousin to try and forget it all; I am completely and utterly emotionally and physically exhausted.

The makeup I put on earlier today is patchy and smudged but I feel too numb to care. Walking into my on-suite bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror while my arms rest on either side of the sink. Black streaks of mascara cover my cheeks from where I'd been crying. I take a deep breath, grabbing a makeup wipe and take it all off.

Once I'm done with skincare, I walk back into my bedroom and pick out a clean pair of undies and oversized tee from my closet, setting them out at the end of my bed. I begin stripping from my clothes, starting with my top, then my skirt and tights. I stand up straight, my hands reaching behind my back to take my bra off when I lock eyes with Joel and I freeze.

Joel is my next door neighbour. He is also my dad's sister's husband. In my current messy state, I  completely forgot to pull my curtains shut and that Joel's office literally faces my bedroom. In my defence, I wasn't expecting him to be up this late.

The initial state of shock begins to subside but neither of us has attempted to look away first. I'm reminded of the very innocent crush I've had on him since the day my aunt introduced us to him five years ago. Of course, I knew it was futile - considering the whole Joel-is-now-technically-my-uncle thing as well as the age gap thing. I never let myself think about it too seriously except for the times late at night whenever I've struggled to fall asleep. Thoughts of him laying on top of me, kissing down my neck while his hands caress my body intrude my mind more often than I'd like to admit and I feel so guilty, but I can't help it.

It feels like I've been standing there half-naked in front of my window for hours when in reality it's only been a second or two. I spot my dressing gown draped over my swivel chair in the corner of my eye and I quickly grab it to cover myself as best as I can.

When I look back at him, his eyes have fallen to the laptop in front of him and I instantly feel the loss of his intense stare. A pang of disappointment hits me, missing the feel of his eyes on me and the way it ignited a fire in my lower belly.

Desperate to get his attention, I loosen the grip I have on my dressing gown and let it fall in front me, exposing me once more. His dark brown eyes instantly meet mine again and it makes my insides flip.

I swallow down the lump in my throat, deciding to ignore the warning lights and sirens going off in my head that are telling me how terrible of an idea this is. But in this moment, I couldn't care less. I just want to feel wanted.

My hands find their way to my bra for a second time and unclasp it. I hold the cups of my bra against my breasts, a moment of hesitation washing over me but I shake that feeling away as I shake off my bra.

Joel goes very still and it feels good to know I'm having an effect on him, so I continue. My hands drop to my panties, my thumbs hooking on either side as I slowly slide them down my legs and step out of them.

I feel so empowered and in full control of the situation, which is exactly what I need right now. I turn around, grabbing my clean undies and slipping them on followed by my oversized tee. I walk to my window, wishing I could reach out to touch him but instead, I pull the curtains shut knowing I've already gone too far and put an end to whatever this is.

***

I've avoided Joel for two whole weeks since that night; not that it has been hard to do since he's definitely been avoiding me too. He hasn't even spared me a glance when we've passed by each other in our adjacent driveaways, oftentimes me going out and him coming home at the same time.

The anxiety of what I'd done was eating me up the first few days, worried that he'd tell my aunt about it. But the longer it's been, the more confident I feel that he's not planning on telling a soul. God, if anyone found out about my drunken mistake, it would completely destroy our family.

I've thought of countless of ways I could apologize to him but none seem good enough, worried it'll just make things more awkward; if that's even possible. Sometimes it's better to pretend like nothing ever happened and things will eventually fix by themselves with time. Yes...I just have to give it some time and it'll soon be a distant memory...

***

The chime of the doorbell distracts me from my current seated position on the sofa, one hand holding the book I've been reading and the other stroking my cat, Felix. I place the book next to me and cradle Felix in my arms like the little baby that he is and head to the door.

It's my aunt, Tess. "Hi hun, are you enjoying your weekend alone?" She extends an arm to rub Felix under his chin.

"Yeah, it's been nice having the house all to myself. Mum and dad won't be back until late Monday evening so I still have a couple of days of peace." I say, chuckling.

"That's great! Although I'm about to disturb that peace, but not for long. I promise! I just need a small favour." She cautiously smiles at me.

"As long as it doesn't involve screaming kids or maths, I'm happy to help." I respond lightheartedly.

"So, I ordered a couple of new sculptures of Athena and the delivery driver just dropped them off outside our door. He ran off before I could get the chance to ask him to help bring them in." She sighs.

"Oh my God, more Greek sculptures? You're obsessed! Don't you already have like 50? How do they all fit in the house?!" I say half-serious, half-laughing while I shake my head. For the past year, Tess has developed a fascination for Greek mythology and the house has basically turned into a museum of Ancient Greece.

"I know, I know." Tess replies, swinging her hands back and forth to dismiss my accusation. "Anyway, I've hurt my back so I can't lift anything and Joel needs another person to help him. Would you mind lending  him a hand?"

"Yeah, sure." I somehow manage to say nonchalantly even though inside I'm screaming. The last thing I want to do is be near Joel but I can't tell Tess that. "I'll be out in a minute" I say, forcing a smile and nod my head as I step back into the house to slip into something more appropriate. 

Once I've pulled my shit together and reassured myself that this isn't a big deal, I make the short walk over to their place. The door opens before I reach the steps, both Tess and Joel coming out at the same time. She places a quick peck on his lips before making her way to her car. "Just going to do some grocery shopping, I won't be long. And be careful with my sculptures!" She calls out as she shuts the car door after her.

I notice the silence between us immediately, fiddling my hands nervously. "Where do these need to go?" I ask as I point to the sculptures in front of me, desperate to be done with this as quickly as possible.

Joel doesn't hold my gaze however, and it makes me think that what happened is still bothering him. "One in the living room and one in the bedroom."

Once we've figured out how to carry the first one, we manage to place it in the living room with relative ease. The second one however is much trickier, needing to be carried all the way to the upstairs bedroom. I can feel myself building up a sweat but I try my best to keep my breathing steady. Once we reach the room, we set it down in its new spot. Not even a second later and I trip over my own foot, falling towards the direction of the sculpture. Joel is there before I know it, one hand holding Athena and the other steadying me. The feel of his arm around me feels different to any other time we've hugged, I notice.

"That was close." He says, pulling back once I've got both feet on the ground.

"It was. Thank you. Tess would kill me if anything happened to it." I exhale, widening my eyes in horror at the thought of breaking the sculpture.

"And I'd be right there with you too. She can be a scary woman when she wants to be." He jokes, an uneasy smile on his face.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out as I fix my gaze on the sculpture rather than Joel.

"Don't worry about it, nothin' broke so we get to live another day." He shrugs his shoulders as his hands rest on his hips and laughs.

"Not about that...I'm sorry about what happened that night. I was drunk and it was wrong of me." I find myself saying before I can stop myself, the guilt finally getting to me.

The grin on his face immediately drops and I brace myself for what he has to say.

"It was a fucked up thing to do and it's best that we forget about it." He says, his tone razor sharp.

"I know and for that, I sincerely apologize." His words sting even though I know they shouldn't. I mean, he didn't look away either. It can't just be all on me, he could've easily left. He had plenty of opportunity to do so.

"You put me in a really uncomfortable position. What would Tess say if she found out? What would your parents think?" His brows are furrowed together in anger and I regret ever bringing it up.

"I-I wasn't in a good place mentally and I definitely wasn't sober but I don't think it's fair to put all the blame on me." I defend, shaking my head.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "And who should share the blame? Me?"

It's my turn to furrow my brows, not liking where this conversation is going. "Well, yeah. You clearly didn't dislike what you saw. You could've left at any time."

"I think you should leave." He responds firmly, crossing his arms.

"You don't have to tell me twice." I scowl. Turning on my heal, I strut out of the room and slam the door shut behind me. Regret fills my chest, not for my drunken striptease, but for my stupid attempt at apologising to that asshole.

*** He tries to apologise to me twice this week but I blank him both times. He tells me that Tess noticed something has been off with us and confronted him about it. He told her it's because he yelled at me when I almost broke one of her statues and now I'm mad at him. That's the only reason he wants to apologise, so that everything seems normal in front of everyone else; not because he's genuinely sorry. So no, I'm not ready to forgive him that easily.

***

I'm having one of those late night closet clear outs, deciding whether my denim midi skirt is staying in the keep pile or the donation pile when my phone rings.

My breath hitches as the name of last person I thought would be calling me right now pops up on the screen. At first I think it might be a mistake, but as it rings for the fourth time, I have to decide whether to answer or ignore it.

He's never called me this late before and the curiosity takes over, so I swipe the green button on the screen and put the phone to my ear.

"Joel?" I ask hesitantly, even though I know it's him calling.

"Can we talk?" His voice low on the other end of the line.

"I'm busy right now." I reply, finally tossing the skirt I've been holding to the keep pile.

"No, you're not. I can literally see you in your bedroom." With that, I turn around and look up. Lo and behold, Joel is standing in front of his office's french doors and he's looking right at me.

"What do you want?" I ask, my heartbeat increasing tenfold.

I watch as his hand trails up his shirt, his fingers starting to unbutton it from the top.

"Tell me to stop at anytime, and I will." He whispers as I stand there completely dumbfounded.

Once his shirt is unbuttoned, he shrugs it off his shoulders, letting it fall on the floor behind him. It exposes his soft chest and belly, and I can't take my eyes off of him.

His hands move on to his belt, swiftly removing it from his jeans and popping open the button. He stops just before he pulls his zipper down and I feel a pang of disappointment until I hear his voice once more.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks simply, as if he hasn't just asked me such an incongruous question.

I shake my head from side to side ever so slightly, it's barely noticeable.

"I need you to use your words darlin'" He's looking at me intently and it makes me feel lightheaded.

I don't want to say it out loud but if I-

"Don't. Don't stop." I surprise myself at how sure I sound, not realising how badly I've wanted this since I exposed myself to him until this very moment.

I notice his chest contract as he exhales in relief; Like he was hoping I'd want this just as much as he does.

He continues then, removing his jeans completely and takes a seat on the chair behind him while still facing me.

"Your turn." It takes me a minute to process what he's saying. He wants to see me naked. Again. Part of me questions whether this is a prank but the part of me that has secretely wanted to do this since forever decides to push the doubts aside.

I hesitate only for a second before I remember that I've done this before and he's already seen my exposed body, and then I strip down to my underwear - just like he has.

His hand reaches inside his boxers and he begins to stroke himself. My panties are soaked within seconds. His breathing becomes shallow as he increases the speed of his hand on his member. My hand is on my breast, squeezing it hard as my thumb and index finger stroke my nipple.

"Touch yourself." He orders and I immediately oblige, my hand gliding from my breast to my soft tummy and finally underneath my panties. I hiss as my fingers touch my bundle of nerves, making circular motions. I'm already so wet at the sight in front of me that it doesn't take long for me to slide my fingers through my contracting walls. I pump my fingers with the same rhythm that he strokes his cock as I close my eyes to imagine that it's him inside of me. It feels so good and yet it's not enough, but I know that this is going to be as good as it's ever going to get. This won't ever happen again. I shake those thoughts away and decide to savour the present moment.

Opening up my eyes again, my gaze is back on Joel. His mouth is parted lightly and his eyes are half shut as his head rests on the back of his chair. His movements under his boxers become more frantic and I know he's close. It drives me to go faster and I yelp as I unexpectedly hit a sweet spot, "Fuck!"

"Keep going baby." He urges me on as he grunts in pleasure. My eyes shut tightly and I bite my lower lip, fastening my pace which causes squelching sounds from my dripping pussy.

"Atta girl." He praises, seemingly satisfied by the sounds travelling through the phone.

I whimper in pleasure as I feel the orgasm build inside of me. I stare back at Joel who lets out a "Fuck" at the same moment that I do. We both come apart together, moaning and whimpering in unison; creating a sweet melody of pleasure.

I never, in a million years, thought that I would ever get the chance to see and hear him coming undone but it's the most mesmerizing thing I've ever witnessed. 

"Am I forgiven?" He asks once his breathing has returned to normal.

"I think you already know the answer to that." I say, as a smile creeps up on my damp face.

--------

Thank you for reading! I'd love it if you let me know your throughts <3 (Uuumm personally, I would jump straight through that goddamn window and onto his lap...fuckkkk)

Lots of love, Elki xoxo

[sturniozo]

In The Shadows III

Masterlist

The plane ride was filled with silence. I had nothing to say to Matt and he had nothing to say to me. It was that simple so we stayed quiet.

I walk to the car waiting for us, Matt walking right behind me. I text my dad telling him we landed and are now headed towards the house.

My dad sends a thumbs up in reply. It makes me laugh, it’s so like a dad to send a thumbs up instead of a real message. I shake my head and put my phone in my pocket.

“What’s so funny?” Matt asks me as we get into the backseat of the car together.

“None of your business.” I say to him with a glare.

Matt rolls his eyes. “We’re going to have to get along, you know.”

I shake my head. “Plenty of married couples don’t get along. It’s a whole thing.”

“We’re supposed to be newlyweds. We’re still in the honeymoon phase, madly in love and fucking like rabbits.” Matt smirks at me.

“Yeah, like I’d ever let you touch me.”

“I remember a time when you would. When you would beg for me to touch you.” Matt says as his hand reaches for my thigh.

I recoil away. “That was before I found out you were a total douche-bag.”

Matt laughs and pulls his hand away. “What did I ever do that made you hate me so much?”

“You know exactly what you did.”

“I really don’t, love.” He reply’s.

I just sigh and look out the window. Going up the hill to the mini-mansion my father had acquired for our cover.

~

“But, where are you going then?” I ask as I pack up my training gear.

“Hampton’s company.” Matt says calmly.

“Hampton?” I ask. I freeze in place. The name sounds so familiar. Like a name from a story I was told when I was just a little girl.

“Yeah, they had an opening.” Matt says, snapping me out of my trance.

“What’s wrong with this company?”

“Nothing, it’s just a little small with its contacts. I want to do something more than petty hits.” Matt swings his bag over his shoulder.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” I say as I zip up my bag.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I’ll still be on call for any hits your father would like me to do. You haven’t seen the last of me.”

~

The car pulls up to the villas drive way. There’s a movers truck right outside with people already moving in furniture into the house.

I unbuckle my seatbelt but before I can open the door Matt already has it open for me. “Ready, Mrs. Sturniolo?” He asks as he holds out his hand for me.

I take a breath and put on a fake loving face as I take his hand. “I’m ready, baby.” I say as I step out of the car.

I hold his hand in mine as we walk to the house. We open the front door to see many people walking around putting furniture where they think it belongs.

I hate being rude for my cover, but it has to be done. “Don’t put that there, the couch belongs by the window, for the best sunlight reading.” I let go of Matt’s hand to order the movers around, telling them where to put the furniture.

Matt stands by the door with his arms crossed, watching me. He smirks and leans against the wall.

“Are you going to help?” I ask him.

“I’m just admiring you, dear.” He says as he walks over to me. He wraps an arm around my waist and kisses the top of my head. “I think the end table should go next to the couch, and put the short lamp on the table.” Matt says.

I nod. “The end table, no the other one. Put that there at the side of the couch.” I point. “Now put that lamp on the table.”

Matt grips my hip and turns me around to face him, his lips inches from mine.

“What are you doing?” I whisper to him so the movers can’t hear.

“You’re my wife aren’t you?” He says as he presses his lips to mine.

We pull apart. “Not here!” I say. “Not now, not in front of the movers!”

“I didn’t like the way they were looking at you, I wanted them to know you’re mine.” He says back. I roll my eyes and pull away from him fully.

The day goes on. After what felt like hours all the furniture was finally in the house and in the places I had asked them to be.

I collapse on the couch, closing my eyes as I sink into the cushions. Matt sits next to me and wraps an arm around me.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Holding my wife.” He says, pulling me back to him.

“You don’t have to keep this up when there is no one here.” I try to pull away again.

“The best assassins keep up their cover even in private.” He tells me again. I shake my head and sit up.

“The best assassins don’t have to be paired up with you.” I tell him.

“Yeah, but you do.”

There’s a pause before I sigh. “You’re so insufferable.” I mumble.

“Really, what did I do?” Matt asks. “What did I do to make you hate me so much?”

I stand up from the couch. “I’m exhausted, Matt.” I say. “How many bedrooms does this house have?”

Matt leans back on the couch, spreading his body out. “A few. Why, you don’t want to share a bed with your husband?”

“God no.” I turn around and begin to walk to the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Matt asks.

“To get first pick of the bedrooms, what else.” I say before darting upstairs.

Matt quickly jumps from the couch and runs behind me. I check out the last room in the hallway, it’s the best guess on where the master bedroom would be. And I’m right. A huge bedroom, complete with a nice large closet and a fireplace, and its own bathroom. I smile and lock the door behind me. I take off my shoes and flop on the bed.

Matt bangs on my door. “Y/n! Y/n, open the door!” He yells.

“I can’t hear you, I’m asleep!” I yell back as I start to get under the covers and shut the lamp off.

“I can’t just sleep in another bed. You’re supposed to be my wife.”

“Tough.” I shout back. “I’m not sleeping with you, for any reason, ever.”

Matt’s silent for a while before he finally gives in. “I’ll sleep in the guest room, but you better set an alarm for tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” I ask.

“The party.”

“What party?”

“What do you mean ‘what party?’” Matt laughs. “We’re the new ‘rich’ couple in this part of a very wealthy town. We’re throwing a housewarming party and getting to know the neighbors.”

“You didn’t go over this with me.” I get up from the bed.

“It’s a good strategy to get to know the locals.” Matt says as I reach the door. I put my hand on the knob but quickly take it off.

“What time should I set my alarm for?” I ask.

“Around six, maybe seven.” Matt pauses and I head back for the bed. “Goodnight, y/n.” He says.

I get back into bed. “Goodnight Matt.”

TAGS: @sturniolopookie @savageking3 @tastesousweet @jko3005 @sturniolo0ntop @cheesesoda @stvrnise @blueeyedbesson @crazycoka @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chris

[runedtarot]

Something I’ve kind of just realised about Bella, and why I love her so much is that she’s lonely. And she’s sort of embraced being alone. I know she even has this discussion with Charlie, when he vocalises worry about leaving her alone too much and that she should go out with friends and she replies that she likes being alone. But more than that, I think isolation is something she picks as a default. She could go out with her friends on Friday night, she could go to the dance or prom with one of the boys or just with her friends but she elects to keep her own company. And I kind of wish smeyer had outright said that Bella was introverted - she likes her friends, obviously, she loves her dad - but she takes herself off for alone time when she needs to. She putters about the house, she reads, to refill her batteries.

And when she and Edward get together, she still does these things when they’re apart but also when they’re together. On one side he doesn’t ever really take her out on dates? Like not out somewhere? They hang out in their special spot in the meadow or do something at one or another’s houses. She gets annoyed when Alice tries to make her go to LA. She likes going to La Push to hang out with Jacob and the others because it’s homely too. They go to the beach or drive their bikes and it’s zero pressure and when she needs to go home she gets to recharge a different way.

But apart from that; she doesn’t always say immediately what she’s thinking. Doesn’t Edward say she edits what she’s thinking when he asks? He can see her thinking over how she’s going to phrase something first. In all her chapters, there’s this pervading ‘me’ and ‘others’ sense of talking that emphasises that loneliness. Not just her negative self talk about her image (again, I wish we had a scene or two of Edward complimenting Bella and her starting believing it, while she was human)

But what I mean is and this is the bit that really gets me is the whole sense of belonging is underscored with loneliness. She doesn’t seem to think that she belongs with the people she loves the way they ships that she belongs to them. It’s always her on her own talking about another social group as their own entity that she doesn’t fit into. Bella and the Cullens, her and the Quileutes, her and Charlie/ Renee, her and her friends. She’s never sure of her welcome, even when they’re all delighted to have her and that’s something I think that comes of being too lonely for too long. She doesn’t think of herself as a Cullen until she is one in every sense. She starts saying ‘us’ and ‘we’ and ‘our’ rather than ‘they’ and ‘I’ during Eclipse I think when the wolves and the vamps team up but is still on the outside quite a way.

[designsdefiance]

junelezen day 7: death

"It was a noble death-" "It was a senseless death, Arlont! That's all any of this is! Senseless!" "Luxiene..." "How- how can you still be so blind? Our son is dead and you're still trying to pretend there's a point to any of this.

putting a lil lore exposition under the cut to avoid this getting too lengthy. holding up my messy ishgardian family like simba.

arlont, elsinne's father, is technically from the brume, though his mother was taken in as a servant by house fortemps before he was born. he's close in age to edmont, and they were firm friends from a young age as a result of this despite their vastly different stations. as he grew older, arlont trained as a knight, specifically serving house fortemps, and fought his way into earning some sort of place in ishgardian society. and his friendship with edmont morphed into more of a crush, as he started to realise he wasn't exactly heterosexual.

the idea of admitting to those feelings, though? unthinkable. despite their close friendship, he and edmont were still worlds apart, and arlont's place in ishgard's high society tenuous at best. so he buried his feelings, about both his so-called best friend and his sexuality, deep in his psyche, and instead married a noble girl from a family with close ties to house fortemps, luxiene de visellier. he had a close friendship with her too, though his feelings were entirely platonic, and it was easy enough to pretend he loved her. he hoped, if he pretended hard enough, that he would come to truly love her.

for a while, he and luxiene managed to put forward an image of happiness. they had two children, josselin and elsinne, and things were good. still, the longer he played pretend at being a doting husband to luxiene, arlont could only think of edmont. attempting to repress his feelings only made them grow stronger and harder to ignore. luxiene, too, began to sense that something was not right. it was hard not to notice; arlont wasn't exactly a subtle man. he wore his heart on his sleeve, and it was obvious to luxiene that his heart belonged to edmont, not her.

there was never a physical affair. edmont seemed to be the only person fooled by arlont's facade, and arlont intended to carry his secret to his grave. still, it was enough to stoke the flames of jealousy in luxiene's heart. and that jealousy rapidly morphed into hatred- first for edmont, then for ishgard as a whole, for the society that forced arlont to hide who he truly was, that made him lie to her, use her as a cover story under the pretense of loving her. she began to sympathise with the heretics, opening her eyes to what- from her scorned perspective- the dragonsong war truly was. their words were a salve to her aching wounds. she knew what walking this path meant- but if arlont could keep secrets, so could she. still, the tension was obvious, a festering rot in the foundations of the life they'd built.

things came to a head when elsinne was 15, and josselin 17. josselin had always idolised his father, always longed to fight in the war at his side. arlont had been eager to grant his son's wishes, and he'd proven a talented fighter, quickly surpassing most of his peers. he was already accompanying arlont on patrols and other duties, dressed in the same house fortemps colours luxiene had come to loathe.

there wasn't supposed to be a dragon that day.

it was a simple task- escort a trader from tailfeather to the city proper. josselin, ever eager to please, and perhaps a little arrogant, had insisted he could do it alone. this was, of course, ridiculous, but arlont trusted his son enough that he didn't need to accompany him. josselin left ishgard with two other novices.

hours later, only one of the boys returned, wide eyed and babbling something about a dragon attack.

they never found the bodies, but the image of it alone was enough to drive luxiene to madness. her son, in house fortemps colours, bleeding out to wounds left by dravanian talons in another senseless conflict. the fact that the dravanians started this conflict was lost on her. she was too far gone to see reason, too willing to blame ishgard for anything and everything, too distraught at the loss of her son to be told otherwise. a few weeks later, she would disappear without a trace- though whispered rumour spoke of her heresy. arlont wasn't the only one who was bad at keeping secrets.

[haveatthee83]

Under My Skin (Monkey D. Luffy/Reader) 3/7

Inspo: Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Word Count: ~4.5k

Warnings: Angst, arguing, cursing, angry Luffy, discussion of death and dead relatives, descriptions of violence.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The storm had let up during that night, and you all made quick work of digging out your house from the dunes, you were adamant about taking care of your chickens, jogging off to a large shack. There the whole crew got to see the marvel that was your six-foot chickens, all three sprinting up to you, practically purring as they came up and rubbed against you. You cooed and collected their eggs, making sure their feed was full before ushering the crew away from them, letting them loose in your high fenced property.

Zoro’s eyes sparkled as he saw you hop up on one’s back, resting a special beak bit into its mouth. Zoro was going to ride one of those chickens. And so, the swordsman was positively useless the whole rest of the day, too busy chasing down your most stubborn hen.

You used your hen to trot around your property, checking on your greenhouse, your workshop, and checking the fencing around the perimeter, and all was well. Robin and Nami were inside already helping you pack up your things, taking care to grab as many photographs as they could find.

You were hoisting a fence post back into place in the shifting sand when your eyes fell onto Luffy, he was helping Usopp and Sanji cut some of your mega-flora logs you had into firewood, lugging the massive logs onto your chopping block. He was a little grimy, sweat dripping from his brow, but he had a bright smile on his face, and that was the first time you got to see his unabashed joy that the crew spoke of. Your heart skipped a beat, an image of Ace’s sunny grin crashing through your mind, “You’ll love him!”. Your mouth went dry as you tried to rip your eyes from Luffy’s infectious, beaming grin, but you couldn’t. You wanted to soak in the image of him so happy. Your breath was stolen from you when the sound of his loud cackle met your ears. Usopp had dropped a log on his foot, and Luffy thought it was hilarious. ‘I want to make him laugh like that one day.’ You thought wistfully, ‘I really hope we can be friends.’

Just as the thought rattled through your mind, Luffy’s eyes met yours and you sucked in a gasp but gave him a small smile and wave. Luffy’s smile shrank a bit, making guilt rake over your heart, but he waved back.

That evening, the crew all moved to take you and your stuff to the Thousand Sunny, you and Robin on your hen, Usopp and Chopper having a ball using your dune buggy, Nami was fearfully clinging to the back, Sanji crammed into its side car you attached that morning, and Zoro proudly riding your other hen bareback, Luffy cackling right behind him as the chicken sprinted over the sand dunes.

When you got to the ship, Franky and Brook welcomed you with open arms, and you got right to moving in, unpacking in the girls’ room.

You heard a light knock on the door, Sanji’s voice asking to come in. You permitted him, continuing to mill about the space and place your belongings around the room. “I have a question.” He said simply.

“Shoot.”

“What do your chickens need to stay healthy?” he asked, pursing his lips.

You looked at the man, bewildered, but you laid out all of the numbers for him, feed, water, space, and cleaning.

“Mhmm, could they live on a ship?”

You gawked at the cook, “I mean I guess; I don’t know why you’d want them to.”

“You’ve seen how much food Luffy can put away! Those massive eggs could really help curve food costs, which is a shocking amount of our ship’s budget.” He explained, already dropping to his knees to beg, “Please, beautiful! I need you to say yes! I’ll take care of them! You don’t understand how much of a monster that boy’s appetite can be!”

“Fine!” you trilled incredulously. “Just-just don’t grovel like that anymore!”

Sanji popped up quickly, “Works every time.” He said resolutely, turning on his heel and walking back toward his kitchen, “Later, Beautiful!”

You gawked for a little while longer but returned to your unpacking, the rest of the process going rather smoothly.

The whole rest of the week went smoothly, to be frank. All until the day you all had decided to set sail. Because of course that’s when something would happen.

You and Usopp were taking inventory of the ship on the dock, discussing a few necessities that you didn’t have on the island, so you’d need to get them at the next stop. A siren blared on the docks, your blood running ice cold, making you usher Usopp onto the Thousand Sunny, practically shoving him onto the ship. “We gotta go! WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!” you called out, pushing Usopp toward anchor, “Raise anchor! Hurry!” You sprinted over the deck, looking for any damned crewmate who knew how to steer this fucking ship, all the while yelling your head off, “WE GOTTA GO! C’MON!”

The first person to hear your shouts was Nami, popping out of the girl’s room, eyes wide with panic, “What’s going on?”

“Marines spotted headed toward the island!” you exclaimed, “We need to leave!” you urged, grabbing her by the wrist, dragging her up to the hull.

“Go find the boys!” Nami called, taking action and steering accordingly.

You nodded and sprinted back down into the guts of the ship, yelling at the top of your lungs all down the hallways until finally, Zoro, Sanji, and Franky popped out, bewildered. “GET US THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! MARINES INCOMING!” You exclaimed, pointing them up toward the dock.

“Find Luffy.” Zoro grunted, all three men pushing past you to the top deck.

You groaned at the command, but continued to dart around the ship, finally coming across your new captain in the aquarium, heaving with your hands on your knees, “Marines! We-we gotta go!” you wheezed.

Luffy looked at you like you had two heads, “Okay, but why are you dying?”

Your eye twitched a bit, “I’ve been looking for you!” you called out, practically collapsing onto the cool floor under you.

Luffy swallowed the awkward feeling he still got around you and rose, extending a hand to hoist you back up, ushering you up through the ship to the top deck, the ship already in motion away from the island.

You recovered from your fatigue and swiftly made your way to the crow’s nest, quickly blowing into your fist, forming a makeshift telescope, letting it cool and holding it to your eye. The Marines weren’t far behind, you realized with a curse. You went partway down the ladder, cupping your mouth with one hand, calling out, “MARINES AT THE STERN! EITHER SPEED UP OR GET READY FOR A FIGHT!”

Your crewmates nodded and got in their positions, Franky running to ready the rabbit screw. You quickly made your way to the back of the ship, watching the ship with a ready glare.

“Screw’s screwed!” Franky called out, “I need time to get it back in order!”

You hopped onto the railing at the back of the ship and readied yourself for a fight. ‘If those asshats make it within two hundred feet of this ship, I’m bubbling their asses.’ You thought, feeling a familiar spark flaming through you. Whispers of the word Haki swirled around you. You didn’t fully understand this sparking power, but you knew how to use it. You felt your power radiate, hot, heavy, and yellow. This deep, primal rage flowed over you, and you were reminded of your bounty moniker, The Glass Dragon.

The Monster Trio tensed; the air knocked out of the crew as your overwhelming energy drove off you in waves. Luffy snapped his head up to look at where the source of the sudden flow of Haki came from, eyes locking onto you, alone at the back of the ship, the image of your bounty poster flashing through his mind. Shivers ran up the spines of the whole crew. This was you in battle, pure rage and bloodlust radiating out from your very being.

Luffy stretched his arm up to hoist himself up onto one of the masts, gaze flitting between you and the rapidly approaching Marine vessel.

‘Too close.’ You thought with a snarl.

Luffy watched, frozen, with bated breath as you raised both of your hands to your lips in wide circle, blowing out massive yellow flames, a large molten bubble blowing out. The glowing orb grew rapidly, when the edge of the glass was just about to touch the figurehead of the ship, you let out a quick pop of breath, allowing for a hole to clear to other side, blowing more stably to make the bubble bigger and bigger, the ship having no choice but to steer straight into your trap.

When you enveloped the ship in glass, the bottom of the bubble hissed and steamed in the water, the inside unbearably hot. Luffy watched as a few Marines jumped overboard in hopes of escaping out of the hole you left, but you would allow no such thing, unable to make himself move to stop you.

You pinched off the bubble from your mouth and rolled your glowing hands over the surface of the bubble, and the other hole closed faster than Luffy thought to be possible at such a scale. They were trapped, and the water inside the bubble was steaming up, boiling, fogging up the glass as it cooled. If there was any hope of survival or escape for the Marines, you snuffed it out quickly, leaping onto your glass from the ship’s railing. You used your glowing hot hands to hold onto the smooth clear glass, climbing to the top of it.

When you hit the peak of the sphere, Luffy felt a deep pull of fear for a moment, still frozen where he hung. You dug your hands into the glass and opened up a hole in your sphere, blowing white hot flames into it, catching pieces of the ship on fire before closing up the glass again, the fire quickly stealing all the oxygen inside. You had just taken out an entire ship of Marines on your own, barely breaking a sweat.

You kicked off of the sphere, blowing flames onto your arm as you reached out, the limb turning into molten glass, wrapping back around the Thousand Sunny’s railing, leaving char in your wake. You stepped back onto the back deck, heaving with the weight of your Haki and rage, flames licking at your reformed arm and shoulders. You let out a furious roar, clutching your middle as you fell to your knees, one last push of power knocking the Straw-Hats back, making Luffy clutch his hat in place. When the weight lifted, all was still, you were still kneeling with heavy breaths, and the crew frankly was afraid to move, not processing what they had born witness to.

Slowly the shock faded, and all of the pieces fell into place in Luffy’s mind. Again, Luffy felt white hot rage fill his chest. You would not be allowed to take lives under his Jolly Roger. That was not how Luffy rolled.

Nonetheless, Luffy swung down to where you were trying to catch your breath, “What the hell did you do?” he yelled, storming up to you, the quick steps of his crew shortly behind him.

You spoke with gravel in your voice, panic and confusion in your eyes, “I defended the ship.” You huffed, scrambling onto your back.

“We don’t fucking kill people!” He hissed, hovering over you with a snarl. “That’s not what we do here!”

You shook and blinked exasperated, “How was I supposed to know?” you shrank back, crawling away from your captain’s anger. “That’s not exactly run of the mill piracy!”

“You didn’t even wait for orders!”

“You didn’t give any!”

“I never got the chance to because you jumped in too fast!”

You tensed and began to shake, defensively spitting out, “Maybe you weren’t fast enough!” you exclaimed without thinking, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you processed what you did.

Luffy’s rage flared, “Zoro! Take her to the women’s quarters and keep her there.” He barked, fists shaking at his side. “I need to decide a few things.”

Zoro winced back a bit at Luffy’s harsh tone, “Captain, I don’t-“

“NOW.”

The swordsman swallowed his protest and hoisted you to your feet, guiding you carefully towards the women’s quarters.

“Robin.” Luffy met her gaze with a piercing glare, “We need to talk. Meet me in the Dining Hall.”

“Captain, don’t you think-“

“I wasn’t asking.” He said resolutely. Robin nodded and zipped her lips into a tight line, walking to the dining hall. Luffy turned and growled out a few orders to the rest of the crew before following.

You sat on your new bed, hugging your knees to your chest, your hat sitting low on your head, tears stinging at your eyes, “I didn’t know.”

Zoro sighed and cradled his head in his hands, sitting across from you in one of the plush chairs from the room. “I know, but…that was…a lot,”

You clenched your jaw and threw your arms out, “You all knew that I’ve done this before! I know you went through my scrap book! What did you think I had my bounty for? My chickens?”

“No, but…Marines are people,” Zoro reasoned, taking his head out of his hands, “You didn’t even blink when you killed them, and that doesn’t sit well with Luffy.”

You shook as tears fell, “Why would I? Marines have taken everything from me! They killed my parents, making me an orphan when I was three weeks old! They killed my Uncle who raised me. They killed my brother, and my entire crew! They killed Portgas. And that’s just my direct ties. They’ve killed entire bloodlines on my island, they’ve hunted my family for generations. Because of them, I’m older than my older brother now. I’ll be older than both of my parents by my next birthday.” You ranted, feeling the tears fall faster.

Zoro felt a little pang of horror stab him in the chest, “How old are you, kid?”

“Same age as Luffy. I’m nineteen.” You spat, roughly trying to wipe the tears out of your eyes.

Zoro nodded, taking a deep breath, “You’re nineteen with how many bodies behind you?” Zoro asked pointedly.

Your eyes looked hollow when you answered, “Stopped counting after 176.” You muttered. “All Marines.”

“That’s not okay.” Zoro said simply, “You’re just a kid. You shouldn’t have had to kill anyone, let alone too many for you to keep track of. That’s fucked up, and you know it.”

“You used to be a bounty hunter! And Robin used to be an assassin! You two were the only ones on this whole crew that I’ve heard of, mostly because you’ve killed people too.” You insisted, crawling to the foot of your bed, “I don’t like it. It’s just the world we live in, and you know it!”

Zoro eyed you silently for a little while, taking in your frantic form. “You don’t have to anymore. We don’t kill unless it’s absolutely necessary and frankly, me, Luffy, and the cook take care of it most of the time.” He said calmly, “You can just be a kid, sail, fight with us and see the world. One day, Luffy’s going to find that damned One Piece and I truly believe that day will be the last any of us have to worry about Marines.”

You sobbed, “I don’t want to hurt people.” You whimpered, swiping at your eyes.

“Then don’t.”

You avoided Zoro’s eyes and whispered, “I don’t know if I’ll have a chance to try.” You curled back up into yourself, “I can’t seem to do anything right when I’m around him. He’s the last thing I have of Portgas, and he hates me. I thought we were alright, that we could even be friends eventually, and I went and fucked it all up!”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He doesn’t look at any of you the way he looks at me.” You mumbled, “He hates me.”

Zoro grit his teeth, “He’s just working through some shit.”

You shook your head, “Zoro, I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned me in for my bounty if I so much as sneeze out of line, and at this point…I don’t think I could blame him.” You sobbed, hugging your knees tighter. “I’m a fucking monster. I-I don’t even deserve my place here. Maybe you should just leave me at the next port.”

“Bullshit.” Zoro spat, rolling his eyes, “We’re all fucked up. That’s why we’re here. Luffy finds fucked up people and he makes us better. Not perfect, but better.” You didn’t respond. Zoro sighed, “Take a nap, woman. I’ll be here, I’m gonna tell Luffy to decide what he wants to do when you wake up. He’ll have cooled off by then.”

Robin sat at her seat in the dining hall, her leg bouncing up and down as she stared deep into the wood grain of the table, and she couldn’t help but think of the letter burning a hole in her pocket.

Luffy swung the door open, stomping to the opposite end of the table, sitting across from Robin. “What are we gonna do about your little protégé in there?” Luffy asked bitterly, “Cause I’m one sneeze out of line from kicking her off the ship at the next port.”

Robin straightened her posture, speaking clearly, “I will take responsibility for not informing her of the…differences of how we do things compared to other pirate crews.” She stated, “And I do not think she will make the same mistake ever again. She is young and stuck to what she knew. Unfortunately, that had a high cost today.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

Robin winced but went on, “Please, Luffy. As your crewmate and your friend…don’t give up on her. Give her another chance.”

Luffy took a deep breath, centering himself, “I’ll let her stay, but she needs to prove that I made the right choice to keep her every day.”

Robin nodded and mulled over the conditions in her mind. She could work with that. But first, she had to come clean, “Luffy.” He hummed in acknowledgement, setting his elbows onto the table. “I have something you need to see.” She sighed deeply and took the envelope out of her pocket, sliding it across the table to her captain, “I found it lodged in one of the bunk beds at her house, and I-I read it. I shouldn’t have, but I just…I didn’t want to give it to you right away if it was going to have something in it that would…hurt you.”

Luffy’s brow knit in confusion, but he took the envelope and read the back of it.

‘To: Little Bro From: Ace’

Luffy’s heart dropped to his feet as he processed those words. Ace left him a letter? And left it in your house?

Luffy carefully took out the papers from the envelope and started to read.

‘Hey, lil dude! I’m so glad you found my favorite sibling duo other than us! These two mean a lot to me, and I’m sure you’ll love both of them. Cap is my best friend, and his little sister is a rocking pirate. (She’s the same age as you by the way) I found their little island and fell in love with the place! I’m sure you’ll love it too. The music, the fashion, the food, the girls, it’s all so cool!

I’m sorry I hid these two from you, but I swear it was for a good reason! Or...good enough, I guess? Cap’s a bit protective, and while I’m ready to be the best man at your wedding, he’s less keen on you meeting his sister. He thinks you’d be as bad as I am with keeping a girl, even though I keep telling him you’d treat any girl right, so he wanted to keep you two separated for as long as possible. Hilarious, I know. You and I both know fate works in weird ways, hence why I’m writing this! I’m sure you’ll find them both and I’m sure you’ll find this.

Now about that sister, you’re gonna love her! She’s a great cook, best I’ve ever had, and she’s the same age as you! She made me a feast for my birthday this year with all of our favorites. She’s always asking about you, worried about you off with the Dadan’s and you training on your own. She’s all caring and stuff like that. She’s super funny too! Makes my sides hurt from laughing at some of the stupid shit she’ll say. She’s also a strong fighter and can kick ass. Now, she’s not my type, and she’s way too young for me, but she is very pretty, and I think you’ll like her, and I will say I told you so at your wedding.

Hope you don’t take my little secret paradise in a bad way. Frankly, by the time you’re eighteen, I’ll probably have already taken you here. Man, I’d love to retire here. See you soon if I’m not there now, lil bro! Love ya!

-Ace.’

Luffy’s hands shook a little as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. “That’s so stupid!” he sobbed, a chuckle forcing through the shock and sorrow.

Robin winced with a smile, giggling as she said, “There’s more in the envelope.”

Luffy scoffed, but opened back up the envelope, grabbing out the square instant photo. He swallowed a bit of air when he saw what it was, coughing with red cheeks that he’d blame on the hacking fit.

Another false assumption people made about Luffy is that he was entirely uninterested in girls, dating, all of that. He was only human. And as much as you still bothered him, you were very pretty, and the photo was…kind of revealing.

Robin chuckled into her hand at his shocked hacking fit. “Alright there, Captain?” she chided. Luffy waved her off, fighting down the coughs. “Why don’t you go see her in the women’s quarters and tell her what you’ve decided. Maybe she’d like to see the letter too?” she offered softly, trying to move the captain down a new track. One with far less bumps and loops.

Luffy frowned a bit but agreed, padding out of the kitchen door and making his way to where you were being watched by his first mate. Luffy got to the door and was about to knock when he heard you speak.

“I don’t want to hurt people.”

Luffy paused, letting his hand hang at his side, his grip on the letter tightening.

“I can’t seem to do anything right when I’m around him. He’s the last thing I have of Portgas, and he hates me. I thought we were alright, that we could even be friends eventually, and I went and fucked it all up!”

Luffy recoiled a bit. Hate was…a strong word. And you really thought he was a piece of Ace? You wanted…to be friends?

“Zoro, I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned me in for my bounty if I so much as sneeze out of line, and at this point…I don’t think I could blame him.”

You were crying then, fully sobbing, making Luffy want to walk in and intervene. He was mad, but he was ready to give you another chance. The sneeze comment did give him pause though, that was kinda freaky.

“I’m a fucking monster. I-I don’t even deserve my place here. Maybe you should leave me at the next port.”

You weren’t a monster. You just did some fucked up shit. A bit of annoyance at your negative self-talk bit at Luffy’s ankles.

“Bullshit. We’re all fucked up. That’s why we’re here. Luffy finds fucked up people and he makes us better. Not perfect, but better.”

You were quiet, just a few sniffles coming through the door. Luffy heard movement in the room, making him take a step back.

“Take a nap, woman. I’ll be here, I’m gonna tell Luffy to decide when you wake up what he wants to do. He’ll have cooled off by then.”

Luffy heard Zoro’s footsteps approaching the door, a deep sigh coming from his first mate. When Zoro came through the door, his brow perked up at the sight of his captain, but he closed the door silently. Luffy grabbed Zoro’s sleeve and led him away from the door, dragging him to the lawn deck.

“How much did you hear?” Zoro muttered when their feet hit grass.

“I came up at ‘I don’t want to hurt people’.” Luffy said with a huff, handing Zoro the letter. “Robin found that in her house.”

Zoro looked confused but started reading, talking through it, “You have to let her stay.”

“She can stay.”

“She’s been through a lot, and she deserves a second chance.”

“She can stay.”

“I’m serious, she fucked up but she’s willing to change.”

“Zoro.”

“What?”

“She can stay.” Luffy over annunciated.

Zoro blinked a few times to process the lack of an argument, then to process the weird ass letter he had just read. “So, your brother kept them a secret because his buddy was convinced that you’d fuck his little sister?” he asked, exasperated.

“Apparently.”

Zoro’s face blanched a bit at the photo, “Damn Ace wanted you two to bone.” He grimaced.

Luffy’s ears went red, “It’s weird, right?”

“Very.” Zoro confirmed, shoving the envelope and its contents into his captain’s hands. “Were you going to talk to her about the letter?” Luffy nodded. “Let her sleep for a little while. She looks exhausted.” Luffy itched with the need to fulfill his intended goal, but he relented, tucking the letter into his pocket. Luffy went to separate from his first mate, but Zoro stopped him, holding onto Luffy’s shirt sleeve, “Why does she bother you so much?”

Luffy was taken aback for a moment, thinking hard to find his words. “You know I don’t like needless killing.”

Zoro scoffed, rolling his eyes, “I know that. I’m not talking about that, that was justified. You’re allowed to be upset about that kind of thing, obviously. But-just…” Zoro huffed as he tried to articulate his bouncing thoughts, “Take that out of the equation entirely, even after you two kinda chilled out, you just…you look at her like she’s the one who killed Ace. It’s eating her up. She wants to be your friend.”

Luffy sighed, “She’s just-I don’t-ugh!” he stammered, “Something about her just…she gets under my skin, and I don’t know why anymore.” Luffy went on, using his hands to illustrate his frustration, “At first, I knew why I didn’t like her, I had a reason.”

“A stupid reason.”

“But I had a reason! Then we…talked and I felt like that reason was in the past, that I could move on, but now I still feel this same…anger when I look at her. It’s like if she breathes too hard, I’ll snap and yell at somebody, and I don’t know why.” Luffy explained, knocking his fist against his forehead, “I don’t like the way she makes me feel.”

Zoro frowned, thinking, “Could you…try and get along with her? I mean, it’s not even like how me and the cook are. Like, you’re her captain now and captains shouldn’t be beefing with their crew when they’re just…being themselves.” He said, perking up when an idea popped into his head, “Let’s make a deal, okay?”

Luffy’s face scrunched in confusion, “Eh?”

“Make a deal with me.” Zoro went on, clapping a hand onto his captain’s shoulder, “If she starts to piss you off, walk away, find me or-or Robin or something and we’ll help you calm down, you can rant and complain, or whatever you need and we’ll be there and listen until you’re ready to go back out and do your thing, okay?”

Luffy mulled it over, “Okay,” he agreed, head bobbing as he thought, “Even if it’s stupid?” “Even if it’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.”

[whimsymoonpages]

chapter 2. three men and one lady

"right boys, house meeting!" sirius black's voice rings out through the nice cottage. he shares it with his two best friends, james potter and remus lupin. "chop chop!"

james saunters into the room in his quidditch workout gear, still sweaty from his practice. remus, on the other hand, enters the living room with his laptop in his hands, not bothering to look up at either of the other boys.

"what's this all about then, pads?" asks james, his glasses slightly crooked on his nose. "got another special package in the mail?" he wiggles his eyebrows.

"no, you idiot," says sirius, his gray eyes rolling to the back of his head. "i have a proposition!"

"and what might the proposition be?" remus asks. he shuts his laptop and brings his legs up to be crisscross on the couch.

sirius grins—the type of grin that his friends know he's been scheming behind their backs. "so you know how we've all been complaining about how expensive it's been to rent this house since peter's moved out, yeah?"

"yeah," says james confused. he cocks his head to the side, and sirius doesn't miss how his nose scrunches up at the mention of their old roommate. "and moody's been hounding us to find a fourth person to be in line with the lease."

"well, i have the perfect solution!" sirius flicks his wand, and the sheet they use for movie nights unravels from the ceiling. the projector across the room turns on, and a singular word presents itself before them all.

ROOMMATE, it says in big bold letters.

remus's eyes are filled with amusement. "great presentation, pads," he says. "and who might you be thinking could be our roommate?"

"here's where it gets a bit tricky," sirius winces. he flicks his wand once more and a picture appears on the screen.

james' mouth opens, and he stares at the screen and confusion. "y/n fawley? isn't that your brother's roommate?"

"was my brother's roommate," sirius corrects. "my dear brother has decided he's going to move in with his new boyfriend, a one mr. evan rosier, thus leaving miss y/n fawley roommateless and in need of a place to stay. evidently, things are desperate according to reggie. she needs a place to move in, like, yesterday."

"and you think she'd be a good fit here?" remus asks wearily. "i mean with us being... how we are and me having my... condition. i wouldn't want it to be awkward."

a beat goes by.

"also...she's a girl."

"i don't think it would be awkward!" james exclaims his brown eyes, big with excitement. "it just means we get a new friend! and maybe reggie would be over more... wouldn't that make you happy, siri?"

"it would make me happy, prongsie. so smart, you are!" he ruffles james's hair, and the latter boy smiles at the touch. "i say we give it a go."

part of sirius felt selfish for springing this upon his friends so quickly, but he couldn't help but feel excited. he'd known you since you were born—literally. you would be a fun little addition to the cottage! plus, he knew it would be a relief for their landlord, moody. abiding by the law, and such.

"i agree with you pads," says the potter boy happily. "remus?"

the whole house seems to glare into remus' soul.

the sandy-haired boy sighs and wipes his face. "if you guys think it's a good idea, then let's go for it. it will be nice for rent to go back down."

"then it's settled," sirius says with a clap of his hands. "let's go pick up our new roommate!"

meanwhile, things back at your house had become a bit chaotic. after regulus told you his solution, you immediately had to start packing your belongings. after all you, had to be out by tomorrow, anyways. barty and evan came back to help you pack your stuff up, while regulus was at his new place unpacking all of his belongings. it was a mess, really.

"bloody hell, how many pairs of shoes can a woman have?" evan groans as he piles them all into a box. "seriously, lovely, you have a shoe for every day of the year!"

you roll your eyes playfully as you leviosa all of your folded clothes into suitcases. "don't be so dramatic, ev. you just wait until you see all of reggie's potionware."

"yes, fawley, but that's for his job," quips evan with a pointed look and a smile. "last i heard, your job doesn't involve wearing stilettos every day of the week."

"maybe lovely has a night job we don't know about, rosie!" junior barks from the kitchen, where he is scrubbing away at the dishes in the sink. he's sporting your pink and floral gloves with a wicked grin. you scowl at him through the doorway as evan's barking laughter echos through the now emptying house.

suddenly, a loud crackling noise explodes from the living room. barty cranes his head around the kitchen pillar and shouts to you that your "noble steeds are here."

you stand up from your spot and brush your hands against your jeans as you walk out to the living area. you hadn't expected to be so nervous—not with them! you'd gone to school with all three of them for six years, and you'd grown up with one of them all your life!

come on, it's sirius "don't tell your mum or i'll throw your dolly out the window," "actually i won't throw dolly out the window because she's too pretty...can we make a dress for her out of my old socks," black you're talking about! the others, you weren't so sure about. james potter had been your direct enemy in quidditch for quite some time. you were both chasers on your respective teams. and remus lupin...all you knew about him was what severus snape had tried to spread about him to the entire school.

you hope he knows you didn't listen.

"hi, fawley!" sirius chirps as he steps through the barren living room. "fancy seeing you here, roomie!"

he brings you in for a friendly hug, and you laugh at him. "you're in my house, sirius!"

"not your house for long," the older boy chimes back. his hair has been cut since you last saw him at reggie's graduation party—his black curls were still has curly as ever, and his gray eyes (the very same as reggie's) pierced through yours. "soon enough you'll be in the marauder's cottage by the sea! it's like something from a movie, really."

james potter steps forward with a bright smile and a big hand outstretched. "i-i'm james! you probably don't remember me much, but—"

"no, i remember you, potter," you squint as you place your hand in his and shake firmly. "you knocked me off my broom third year with a bludger."

"that was you?!?" james and remus lupin exclaim at the same time. poor james, his eyes looked ready to pop right out of his pretty head.

"yes it was me!" you laugh brightly. "and you weren't even a bloody beater!"

the bespectacled boy in front of you sputtered, his eyes growing wider. "it bounced right off my head, i swear! i wasn't aiming for you!"

the poor thing doesn't even know you were teasing!

remus chuckles under his breath as james continues to panic.

"Sshe's winding you up, mate," he says, shifting the weight of a heavy-looking box from one hand to the other. his voice is calm, low, but not unfriendly. "if she were mad about it, she'd have hexed your eyebrows off already."

"don't tempt me," you shoot back, amused.

"and she really will do it!" barty shouts from his spot in the kitchen."

"8 like her," remus says casually, and sirius nods like he's just been proven right about something important.

"you hear that? we're off to a great start already!" sirius beams, clearly delighted that remus is warming up to the idea. he snatches a box of books from evan's hands before the other boy can protest. "alright, gentlemen, let's help the lady move. chop, chop!"

"you're ridiculous," you mutter, but there's a smile on your face as you glance around your almost-empty house. it's weird, seeing it this bare. you'd lived here for nearly two years — first with regulus, then... sort of alone once he started staying over at evan's more than he stayed home.

"you alright?" remus' voice is soft, near your shoulder now. you hadn't noticed he'd moved beside you.

you nod, brushing a hand over your jeans again. "yeah. jus' feels weird. big change and all that."

he gives a half-smile. "we're not so bad, i promise."

you tilt your head, pretending to consider. "i suppose i'll find out soon enough."

later that evening, back at the cottage, the chaos is truly palpable.

there are boxes everywhere down your hallway, the kettle is whistling angrily on the stove (sirius forgot about it), and someone—probably james—has left a trail of muddy footprints across the entry rug because of course it started raining the moment you apparated in.

"i swear to merlin, prongs, do your shoes live on your feet?" sirius shouts from the kitchen as the kettle screeches in protest.

"where do you want this?" Remus asks, holding up a box labeled SHOES – HANDLE WITH CARE OR I'LL CRY in evan's handwriting.

that git!

"erm—my room, i guess?" you laugh. "just down the right, yeah?"

remus nods and disappears down the hallway, just as james appears behind you holding a coat rack.

"'m not sure where to put this," he says, looking absurdly confused for a man holding what is clearly a coat rack.

you blink. "that... goes near the door?"

"ohhh. right. that makes sense."

you snort. "what are you, the brains of this operation?"

"no," sirius calls from the kitchen. "that's moony. potter's the looks."

james puffs up proudly at that. "damn right."

"and what are you, then?" you call toward sirius, who reappears with four mismatched mugs balanced precariously in his hands.

"morale," he answers, and not a single one of you questions it.

previous next

[specialagentlokitty]

Negan x reader - people can change

Part 1:

A/N: italics is sign language

Sitting on the roof of your house, you stared out at the shore on the other side of your lake, watching a few straggler walkers wonder around.

“Should we kill them?”

You glanced upwards, and you turned your attention back to the dead that walked on the land which once belonged to the living.

“No. Why are you here?”

The man dropped himself next to you, leaning back on his hands, kicking his feet back and forth slightly.

“People are walking our roads, they hunt out animals.”

You turned to him, looking at the wooden mask that was laid next to you.

“Dead?”

“No. Alive, they have weapons, horses. If they keep this up they’ll scare all our food away, they’ll find the farms.”

“How many Luke?”

Luke shrugged slightly.

“We’re not sure, at the moment there’s only four of them, but there could be more somewhere.”

“Round up the first squad, place the second and third in position four, we’ll go see what these trespassers want.”

Picking up your mask, you placed the strap around your head, tying it, and you pulled your hood up, walking back to the other end you jumped down.

Luke followed you, jogging ahead to gather the fighters as you made your way to the edge of your pier.

Looking to at the logs embedded deep into the lake you carefully stepped on them, walking over one at a time until you reached the other end, stepping on to the sand.

A large group gathered around you, and you turned to them all.

Make no noise. Do not speak. Do not raise your weapons until the signal is given. Surround them. Keep your masks on. Do not let them see who you are.

The whole ground nodded, pulling up their hoods as well.

They split up, running into the surrounding trees, and you turned to Luke who nodded his head, leading the way.

You were quick, jogging through the trees, around any walkers that you saw, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to yourselves.

It wasn’t long until you reached the road that the group was spotted on, and you crouched in the bushes.

Looking over you saw a scout pointed down the road.

Not fair. We have them surrounded.

You nodded.

Any signs of others?

She shook her head at you.

Just them.

You turned to look who pointed at himself, then you, tilting his head a little.

We both go.

You waited for the group to draw a little closer so yours could draw a tight knit circle around them all to prevent anybody running off.

Standing up, you looked to Luke who did the same thing, following you out of the bushes, standing in the middle of the road.

The group saw you and immediately pointed their weapons at you.

“Who are you?!” The woman shouted.

She aimed her sword and stepped forward, clearly she was some sort of leader to this small group.

You had your hands clasped behind your bad, and you held up two fingers, then man a circling motion with your index finger.

Your group were quiet as they crept out, bows pointed and ready.

When you held up three fingers and did the same thing, and they came from the sides, making the group turn to them instead.

Luke looked at you and you gave a slow nod of your head, letting him know it was okay.

“Instead of asking who we are, I suggest you lower your weapons.”

“Not until you tell us who you are! What do you want?!” Another yelled.

Luke chuckled slightly, placing his hands on the back of his head.

“Maybe this isn’t enough people for you.”

You held up your index finger, then made a circle with it, and the final of the three groups came down, knives in their hands.

They all turned their attention towards you and Luke.

“Weapons on the ground and kick them over, all of them. Don’t try pull a fast one we have eyes on you from all angles.”

They dropped their weapons, kicking them all over and you let a few of your people pick them all up, then you turned to Luke.

He walked over, standing next to you, his back towards them.

“Do we kill them…?” He whispered.

“No… see what they want…”

He turned around and walked over, and you crouched down, rested your arms on your knees as you carefully watched them.

“I want names.”

“You first.”

Luke chuckled.

“You’re in no position to give out demands. Names. Now.”

They reluctantly gave their names, and you made note of them, placing them to the people as they spoke.

“Why are you here?”

“We were hunting, we didn’t know there was anybody out here.” Aaron said.

Luke began to slowly pace back and forth, regarding them.

“Hunting yet no way to bring any game back?”

“We have our ways.” Michonne spoke.

Luke slowly began to circle them, like a hunter stalking its prey.

This seemed to make them nervous, they tired to keep an eye on him while making sure their own backs were covered.

“You don’t belong in these areas, they do not belong to you.”

“But they belong to you?” Daryl scoffed.

Luke looked at you.

What do we do?

You thought for a moment, standing up and you walked over to one of your people, taking a crossbow and a sword from them.

Walking over, you handed them back to Daryl and Michonne, Aaron and Gabriel having their weapons returned to them.

“Who are you people?” Gabriel asked.

“We are nobody, we are nothing but a silence that passes through.” Luke said.

“Are there more of you?” Michonne asked.

“I could ask you the same thing, this is a long way to hunt just for four people. You’re clean, you have fresh clothes, you appear to be well fed. A community. Now given the ones we’ve spotted, probably Alexandria, correct?”

This put them all on edge, and you stood in front of Luke.

Do not work them up.

He raised his hands and you walked behind him again.

“We have scouts, they check for hordes that may be coming towards us. We’ve passed a few communities including your own. That’s all. We have no interest in harming you.”

One of your people jogged over, tapping their spear in the ground and you looked over.

Walkers. Coming close. We also found their horses and a few more of their people.

You nodded, turning back to Luke.

Walkers. And their people. Take them back. Send them on their way.

Walking over to one of the scouts, you dug through their bag, taking out some dried venison and you walked back over.

You handed it over to Michonne who narrowed her eyes at you.

You gestured for her to take it.

“It’s safe, it’s just been dried in the sun. It makes it last longer.” Luke explained.

Michonne took it.

“We’ll have a group take you back to your people, the walkers are coming. But if you, or anybody else comes too close again you’ll know.”

You held up two fingers, and the group split, group two walking over to the other survivors, surrounding them.

Let’s go.

The others began to make their way back and you followed them, pointing to Luke behind your back then to the group.

“I don’t want to fucking babysit them!” He called.

You just repeated the motion and disappeared back into the trees.

It wasn’t even a week later when a few of your scouts returned with Aaron blindfolded, and they looked at you.

What do we do?

You gestured into your house, putting your mask on and they took him inside, tying him to a chair.

They closed the window boards, and you jumped down from the roof, making your way inside, closing the door.

You gestured for them to leave and you walked over, pulling his blindfold down, grabbing some paper and a pencil.

‘Why did you return?’

“I just wanted to talk, that’s all. You could have kill us but didn’t, you let us go, you left a few deer at the gates of all our communities. So, I wanted to thank you, but I couldn’t find where your community was.”

‘We want to be left alone.’

Aaron smiled a little at you.

“Then why did you help us?”

You didn’t say anything, you simply sat down in a chair, kicking your feet up on the table as you looked at him through your mask.

“Maybe we can help each other, a deal.”

He gestured with your hand for him to carry on, curious about what he was going to say next.

“We can open a trade route, we give you things, whatever you need, and in return we get things as well. Whatever it is you want to share.”

You leant back slightly, regarding him and it made him nervous.

He couldn’t see your face, he couldn’t read your expression, or tell what you were thinking.

You could have him killed in the matter of seconds and he knew that, with a simple flick of your wrist and he would be dead.

He watched as you wrote something down, and you turned the paper around so he could see it.

‘Why?’

It was a simple question, but even Aaron knew that his very answer could be the difference between him being able to go home or not. Having an another strong community, or having another powerful enemy.

“I’ll be completely honest with you, we need all the help we can get. The saviours did a lot of damage to us, we’ve built a lot since there, imprisoned their leader Negan, but we need food, weapons, anything to help us.”

‘So you therefore have nothing to offer us.’

“No! No that’s not true! We can offer you weapons, or.. or grain, you know like fresh produce, clothes, we have plenty of clothes. I.. I’m sure we can find something.”

You stood up, leaving the home, and you walked along the bridge, over to another house and walked in.

Luke looked up from where he was sat with his wife and son.

“Verdict?” He asked.

“He wants to open a trade. Says they need help, supplies, they’ll offer us supplies in return.”

He nodded a little bit.

“The people need warmer clothing, blankets, firewood. We’re doing what we can, but we need more. We could do with some more food, and medicine, definitely medicine.”

“Do you think it would be wise to open a trade?”

“Perhaps not, but they know we know where they are. What else did he say?”

You sat down in the corner, letting the boy come over to sit in your lap, still playing with one of his toy cars.

“Saviours, they were there.”

“We never had any trouble with them. They’ve been gone for years now.”

You nodded.

“We were more trouble than they could handle even with their guns, could never find us. He wants us to help them continue building their communities.”

Luke furrowed his brows a little bit.

“Refuse, not until we get the medicine and a doctor at least.”

“No, we bring nobody else here, if they agree we bring our sick to them.” You said sternly.

“Okay. Okay. That works as well.”

You nodded, picking up the boy and you gave him back to his father, making your way back to your home.

As you walked in aaron tried to look outside, but he couldn’t see anything so he turned his attention back to you.

You were writing something down, and you walked over, slamming the paper down next to him.

“A doctor, that’s what you want?”

You have a nod of your head.

“So, if we take some of your people to Alexandria for medical help you’ll help us? Trade with us?”

You grabbed another sheet of paper, and you quickly wrote before showing it to him.

‘We helped you get back to your people. Now you help us. If that works, we will consider a deal.’

This made him smile and he nodded his head.

“Okay, I’ll take that. I’m sure you know how far it is from here, all you have to do is get everybody ready and take us there, I can get you all inside and to the doctor.”

You held up the blindfold.

“I understand, to protect your people.”

You nodded, putting it back on him and you went outside to where Luke was waiting by his house.

“Round up the sick, he’ll get inside. I want team four with us, team three is to follow behind, the other teams will stay here and watch the place. We are to be in lockdown until I return.”

“I’m coming.”

You quickly shook your head, lifting up your mask so you could look at him.

“No. Somebody needs to ensure they’re safe. Cole will come with me, as my right hand man I trust you to watch the community.”

Luke sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t like this plan of you going and me not being there.”

“Neither do I, but until we know it’s safe, I can’t leave this place without their commander.”

He looked away and turned to you, balling his hand into a fist, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Okay. Fine. But the moment it’s safe you send for me, swap me out with Cole.”

You nodded in agreement to this, and looked to the blonde male he was walking over, mask in his hand.

“You sent for me?”

“You’re coming with me to Alexandria.”

He nodded.

“Very well, shall I get the man?”

“Yes, take him to the shore, we’ll meet you there, and remember the rules.”

“No talking, no showing our faces, do not act unless instructed.”

You gestured for him to go ahead and you did the same with Luke, sending them both of their way as you went to get a few basics supplies for the trip.

You also wanted to go and see their prisoner, you wanted to see how far the leader of the saviours had fallen after hearing about what he had done, after killing endless amounts of his people you came across.

You wanted Negan to know that you were still there, haunting him as the only community he couldn’t touch

[sleepyjump]

so many lies and redirections. i've had enough.

tell them what a sleepyjump really is.

I know what you did to her. I saw what was left of her after the sleepyjump.

...

...so someone still remembers. fuck.

well. i've had my fun, everyone. told a lot of good stories. came close to tipping my hand a few times, too, and saying what a sleepyjump really is. i hid clues in a lot of 'em-- not all, of course, but some. and even if it wasn't enough for anyone to piece it together, it was enough for you to track me down.

i wish i knew which "her" you were referring to, but there were a lot of them. maybe if you reminded me of the way she screamed? what she dreamed about? how her skin felt, or-- if she was one of the ones that turned-- what she became?

regardless, the secret's out. i guess i'd better say it before you do. i can explain it better, anyway. always could.

a sleepyjump is the process of turning your dreaming world inside out. everything around you-- your meat vessel, your clothes, your belongings, maybe your whole room, maybe your whole house-- goes in, and... well, a whole lot comes out. in bits and pieces, at first, but dream logic tends to hold these things together pretty well.

i swear i meant well, at first. i wanted to do it to myself-- that always was the plan, i swear-- as a sort of therian hrt. rip my flesh body away and finally live as perfect steel in a world that i could adjust to better suit my dreamlike way of seeing things. i wanted whimsy back. whimsy and a pair of decent antennae. and, fuck, if it was just me, i would've never let anyone else go first. but the polycule was so desperate, and we all felt so trapped, and...

well, we agreed to do it in a batch. someone had to stay awake to run the process and monitor the levels, so i scratched my name off the list. i'd stay here, looking like this, for a little longer. it would work-- g-d, i swear, it was supposed to work-- and then i'd make a file and i'd be in batch 2.

so i was available to lead everyone into a trance. right away, i made my first mistake -- i did my signature induction. lazy? absolutely. reckless? sure. i was in a panic and i did what i knew how to do, which was to cause pain and make myself the source of relief. i floated through the crowd patting heads and giving kisses and shushes and little pills under the tongues of all the subjects, thanking them, squeezing their hands and telling them the sharp plug would enter their necks and then i would be there to make it all go away.

the pain and the pleasure, one after the other, were supposed to make them calm. i wasn't expecting-- well, the tearing sound, first of all, but then the barking and wailing and hands all over me. the songs in perfect fucking harmony. the mouths on my ears and the eyes locked on mine. i almost went blank when they all pushed me down at once and started gliding their fingers all over me. i think they wanted to be touched, and they knew how to get it. and who could fucking blame them? we'd all spent our whole lives hurt and hollow, sending kiss emojis to someone on the other side of the world, and all of us wanted bodies we could live in, love in, sleep in, fuck in... sure, i'd do the same thing.

the iron smell-- all the blood, i'm sure-- almost blissed me out, too. i don't think i have a prey drive, but whatever the closest thing to it is, it sure started spinning when 6 tgirls pinned me down coated in blood and shifting their appearances fluidly like running water. i really thought i was the one who'd fallen asleep, at first, and then when i figured it out i was still too limp and wobbly to even hold the axe right.

i don't know where that first batch got off to. maybe one of them was "her."

i could've stopped after that. i doubled down. now, even more than ever, i had nothing left to show. nothing else to give the world. it was this or be torn apart the moment i stepped outside. so i spent a week of sleepless nights-- the second longest period of wakefulness in my whole life, as you'll see-- modifying the machine, removing myself from the equation, adding extrapolators and suppressors to the whole circuit. i told my roommate it was a vr rig i was working on, not knowing she'd be fucking stupid enough to try it on.

i kind of knew she had a thing for me. she was really bad at hiding it. i'd see the way she looked at me, the way she got all blushy when i sat next to her on the couch, the stammering speech when i walked in on her cooking... i'd been meaning to say something. but i had no idea how much she must've wanted to be me, too.

this time, the thing that emerged from all that shrieking and ripping and moaning and breathing looked sort of like her and a lot like me. i was caught right in the dream logic, and the dream logic wanted me to join the ride. the next few months are... fucking blurry, which is a shame, because it would've been really good data. i remember following her around like a dog. cooking her meals that seemed to spring fully-formed from the ingredients-- scrambled eggs leaking out of eggshells, pancake batter coalescing into discs, and ground beef growing buns and cheese from its folds. i remember wondering how i'd gotten here, and then i remember it being so much effort to wonder about anything, and then i remember nodding and hugging her and being in two different places and speaking in a bizarre scramble of words and emotions.

i think she convinced me she was G-d, for a while. i think i really believed her.

anyway, ironically, my fucking snuff kink saved my life. i don't think i'd properly fallen asleep-- or, with the inversion, waken up-- in about a month when she let me get close enough with the axe. she thought-no, g-d, we both thought the dream logic'd keep her alive. but a vessel is just a vessel, and as soon as i'd left the first, fatal gash in that divine body that looked like mine, i sunk to my knees and cradled her. it. myself. whatever.

i think we were kissing when the light left her eyes. i think i was holding both her hands, the axe discarded nearby.

if she's the "her" you're talking about, i'm sorry you had to see her like that. she was beautiful.

the third batch didn't even look at me before they were out. i tried to make myself the fourth, but when my skin got all those bumps and growths i chickened out and shut it down before the process was complete. the fifth, sixth, and seventh aren't worth talking about.

but you want to bring her back, don't you? you wouldn't be here if you didn't want something.

why don't you become lucky number eight? you'd be doing us both a favor. no one else has to end up like "her."

help me figure this out, and we can both be gods.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part four

Version 1: False Positive

Steve stared at himself in the mirror, staring at his stomach. He rubbed his hands over his belly, looking at it mournfully. Eddie was snoring peacefully on his bed when something caused him to jerk awake suddenly. He blinked sleepily at his boyfriend.

"What are you doing?" Eddie asked.

"Eddie, do you think I'm fat?" Steve asked.

Eddie sighed, sat up, and rubbed his eyes. He grabbed the little calendar off the bedside table.

"Nope! It doesn't appear we have a fight scheduled for this morning," Eddie said cheerfully.

"Eddie, come on, be serious," Steve said.

"You know I think you're beautiful. No, you're not fat. You have fat, but you are not fat," Eddie said.

"Okay, so do I have a whole lot of fat?" He asked.

"No, baby, you have the perfect amount of fat," Eddie said and dropped the blanket.

Steve smiled, blushing. It still made him blush and giggle every single time that he saw his boyfriend naked.

"So, you don't think I need to lose a few?" Steve said.

"Okay, baby, what's this about?" Eddie asked, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"I just need to do something," Steve said.

"Honey," Eddie said. "Are you really this upset that you can't get pregnant?"

"Don't laugh," Steve said.

"I would never, but I think I have a solution," Eddie said. "Your parents never allowed you to have an animal in the house, and we both like cats. The house now belongs to you, so how about we go down to the shelter today and rescue a cat?"

"Let's do it," Steve grinned.

"We can take Dustin along, and he can help pick out his baby brother or sister," Eddie said. "We can make it a family outing."

"You still projecting on Dustin?" Steve asked.

"Of course, why?" Eddie asked.

"Just making a note that you're just as upset as I am," Steve replied.

Eddie laughed and kissed him. He brushed his hair against Steve’s face, tickling his cheek. Steve laughed, getting a whiff of Eddie's shampoo that he used last night. They got dressed and called Dustin. His mom had gone to work early, so he hadn't had breakfast yet. On the way to Dustin's, they picked up breakfast and ate it in the back of Eddie's van with the doors wide open.

"So, why did you guys need me with you today?" Dustin asked as they wandered through the shelter.

"You should be here when we pick out your younger brother or sister," Eddie replied.

"Jeeze, no wonder you get along so well with my mom. You're both crazy cat ladies," Dustin replied.

"Rude. . .Gasp, Steve, look at this kitten! Aww, she only has one ear!" Eddie exclaimed. "Gasp! Steve, she has your eyes."

"Eddie, she's a cat," Steve said.

"And she has my hair," Eddie said.

"She's not related to us at all," he told his boyfriend.

"You know what? I can totally see it," Dustin said.

"What are you doing?" Steve hissed.

"He's a crazy cat lady who bought us breakfast this morning," Dustin said. "I'm siding with him."

Eddie was given the kitten by the volunteer and cuddled her to his chest. Suddenly, Steve could see it now. Steve smiled and cooed at the kitten in Eddie's arms. The kitten sniffed Eddie's hair, gagged, and threw up on Eddie's shirt.

"Stevie. . .I don't think she likes my new shampoo," Eddie pouted.

Version 2: Baby Bat

"So, you don't think that I need to lose a few?" Steve asked.

"Okay, baby, what's this about?" Eddie asked, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"I think that I'm starting to show," Steve said biting his lip.

"You're kidding," Eddie said with wide eyes and dropped to his knees. "Oh, there it is. A perfect little bump. Hi, Bumpy."

"Bumpy Munson? Yeah, I don't think so," Steve scoffed.

"Well, obviously, it's not going to be their actual name, but we need to call them something other than 'hey, you!" Eddie said. "Wait, the kid is going to take my name?"

"Of course," Steve said softly. "I love you."

"I love you too and our little bump," Eddie said, kissing his stomach.

He pressed his cheek against his stomach as he hugged Steve’s waist. Steve sighed and dragged his fingers through Eddie's hair.

"You know. . .while you're down there, maybe you can show me just how much you love me?" Steve asked coyly.

"Oh, I like the way you think, big boy," Eddie purred.

Of course, that's when Steve caught a whiff of Eddie's new shampoo, and his stomach churned.

"Oh. I don't think Bumpy likes the new shampoo," Steve said.

He pushed Eddie away and rushed to the bathroom. He emptied the contests as he kneeled over the toilet. Steve heard the sound of a cabinet door opening and a hand pressed to his back. Once he was done, Steve turned to find his boyfriend wearing a shower cap, and he laughed.

"God, I love you," Steve said.

"I do plan on rewashing my hair, sweetheart, so you might want to hurry and brush your teeth," Eddie said softly.

Steve quickly brushed his teeth and then turned to Eddie.

"I know I was geared up for it, but can we just lay naked in bed today without -" Steve trailed off.

"Sweetheart, you and that little bump are more important than sex. I love doing anything with you, especially if it's naked cuddling," Eddie said. "It's about as close as I can get without actually crawling inside of you."

"Did I mention that I love you?" Steve asked.

"Once or twice today, but it's always nice to hear," Eddie said. "Now, get. Go on, get."

Steve laughed and went to the bedroom, where he slipped under the covers. Eddie came back with his hair in a towel and laid down on the bed next to him. Steve curled up against his chest.

"I know you wanted to go to the park today. I know how much you like scaring the conservatives, but I just always feel so gross after throwing up," Steve said.

"It's alright, sweetheart. I've got you," Eddie said softly, trailing his fingernails up and down Steve’s naked back.

"This is nice," Steve whispered.

Eddie kissed his forehead, opened his mouth, and began to sing.

Part Five

[thebluemoonjune]

New Beginnings (Richonne One-shot)

A pregnant Michonne is ready to welcome the new year with her family, Rick, Carl and Judith. She is thankful to where they have reached and hopeful for better days ahead. A New Year's Richonne oneshot. No saviour arc, no Negan.

A joyful new year always began with the sharing of meals and desserts that spoke to people's spirits. Additionally, we shared them with family and friends, demonstrating that our blessings were also theirs.

They called for a home to belong to a community, comfort, food, and safe water. They both required a secure haven for their well-being and for their existence to have meaning: a utopia rather than hell on earth. They owed it to each other and their precious children to fight back against an entity that could devastate everything, that turned friend against friend and separated them in innumerable ways. They were a family and a team that were prepared for the future and now that they had it, they'd protect it. A new year.

A new life does not begin with a gift wrapped in colourful bows and the promise of security, but rather as a path through the unknown with a degree of fog and frost. As a result, it requires a determined heart to seize it, daring feet to traverse it, and a brave sight to remain alert to its curves along with its peaks and valleys. If there were any other way, people would not live such lacking lives from birth to death. To achieve more, one must accept the feeling of danger and risk as one strives for the far distance. The world at large had been devastated and transformed. It had fewer people in it. So many people perished, yet it didn't stop life from going on. As she watched Judith play with Gracey, Michonne stroked her full-term stomach. One day at a time—that's how they took it.

“Did you get the black eye bean?”

“Yep. Now you ain’t gotta rip my head off for it.”

“I’m not that bad!” Michonne watched her husband tilt his head to the side, eyebrows raised to the sky. “Okay, maybe a little, but just a little… My mom used to cook on New Year's for good luck… I want us to start our new year right.”

“Carl always hated beans—beans of any kind.”

“Well, he eating it today. Judith too. No one and I mean no one, is getting off.”

“Yes, ma'am!” He chuckled at her. “You know, you never talked about your mom much, or both your folks for that matter.”

“I never realised…”

“Is it painful?” The couple stared at each other till Michonne broke the silence.

"No, not anymore… My mother was upbeat, opinionated, and the ultimate decider of everyone's life journey... Like any good army drill sergeant, she planned what to do, the schooling, and the fun that followed. Did I ever mention that I was homeschooled?"

"No."

“I was… till I was eleven years old.”

"I could see that. She was a drill sergeant?"

"No, but she acted like one." Michonne laughed, stoking her stomach, before cracking a weary smile. "She was actually a writer; children's books... Strange, huh?"

"Nah... makes perfect sense..." His eyes softened. "She made you."

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment, Rick…”

“It’s a compliment.” He couldn't take his sight off her.

"I hear you… My father did nothing but work: work at his job, work on the house and work on getting enough sleep so he didn't fall asleep on the way to his firm. He inspired me to become a lawyer. He would sometimes grin or laugh, and when he did, the world brightened for those brief minutes. Then he'd fall back into his whirlpool of worry."

“He sounded a lot like my old man.”

“He probably was… They were good parents—not perfect but good enough. That’s all they can hope—that we can hope.”

“We’re doin' fine and we’re gonna do a whole lot better.”

“Alright, whatever you say, old man. Don’t you have to help, Daryl? Don’t keep him waiting.”

“I can cancel, stay with you… Ain’t no big deal.” Pulling her closer, he planted a longing kiss on her lips, causing her to giggle when he finally broke away.

“No, you go. I just have the peas left. By that time, you should be all done and you can fetch Carl from Edith and Judy from terrorising Hershel and Gracey.”

“Soon she’ll have someone else to nag… You sure you’re right? You been out of it since yesterday.”

“I’m fine, Rick you worry too much… They’ll be here soon, any day now. It’s normal.”

“I never thought this would happen again, for us.”

“We deserve it, Rick... A new beginning, as you said… Now go.” Rick planted a kiss on her forehead, then her belly, before she turned from him to continue the preparation of their celebration meal.

“If anything happens, send for me. I’ll come to you as soon as possible, Okay?”

“Go! I send for you.”

Regardless of his wife's words, he couldn’t help but stall and linger at the kitchen exit. She was late in her pregnancy and he wanted to treasure every second till the baby arrived. He was thirsting to be by her side. They never expected to ever have this. He never thought she’d allow herself the chance after all that had happened in the past. However, she gave him one and gave their family one as well. After being hit with a side eye, he managed to make his way to Daryl. When they completed their duty at hand, he fetched Carl and Judith to go home.

…

The family of four placed themselves in their seats for lunch after Michonne snatched Carl to help her set the dining table. Rick took Judith into his lap, knowing that he’d have to feed her since she was even more picky than Carl.

“Since we're here, I think we should say what we’re thankful for… and our hope for the future.” Michonne’s eyes never left her boys for one second. “ Carl?”

“I just want things to be the same as always and I’m thankful we’re all here.”

“Me too, Son.” Grinning at Carl’s answer, Rick leaned over to rub his head.

“Did you say ‘me too’ to not come up with something different, Grimes?”

"Maybe, but I mean it. You know that.”

“Well, I know that… I’m thankful that I found you. I’m thankful for getting me out that day, even if you were an asshole afterwards.”

“In my defence, I didn’t know you well yet, and I still kept you around when I sent the others away. That’s gotta count for somethin', right? After all, we were the same.”

“You didn’t know or trust me, but that didn’t stop you from checking me out, did it?” 

“You noticed that?”

“Judith and I are still here, you know?” They both crackled at their son’s embarrassed distaste for the current topic but kept going.

“You not kicking me out is part of the reason I put up with your behaviour.” Rick sighed at her pettiness. “Us being the same and me longing to stay with you guys is another part as well, though I didn’t realise that last part just yet... Carl?”

“Yeah?”

“You and Judybug saved me. You don’t know how much you two did. Thank you for making me one of you and thank you for being my best friend and not letting me chicken out… You gave me a second chance, all three of you and I love you so much for it… What I want is all of you safe and sound and happy, and by my side. The baby included, of course. Thank you for giving me back my family.”

Her eyes welled up with tears of unfathomable affection. The happiness dripped from her eyes and they were soon all overcome with shared emotion. It was such a warm, heart-gripping moment, only disrupted by Michonne's booming grunt of pain. At that moment, she came to face the fact that she’d been having contractions all day. Part of her was in denial, only being focused on celebrating New Year's the right way with her family. She stood up, grabbing the tablecloth, and Rick understood immediately. He knew she was acting weird.

"Carl, go grab Siddiq!”

“It’s happening now?”

“Yeah! Go!”

…

Childbirth has always been risky. It makes little difference that it is natural. It is also quite natural for a mother or baby to die. That is why they had made so much progress in medicine for safe childbirth. Michonne and the infant were in far more danger now that the world had changed. Rick became aware of a massive natural birth occurring at his feet. It had struck him, just now. Panicked and fearful, he still stayed by her side. It was his job as a father and a husband. No matter how hard it was on him mentally, she was having it a thousand times worse. She was the one in pain; she was the one in danger. He sat behind her and supported her back with every push, encouraging her whenever she began to falter.

“Rick!” She cried out in search of unconscious comfort for her partner-in-crime.

“I’m here, darlin'; I’m right here! You’re doing great!”

“Why did I think this would be easier the second time around?”

“Because you’re amazing; that’s why! You’re doin’ great!”

They traverse till the drawing of beautiful angel breath, serenaded by freedom. A sign of their baby's existence.

…

A happy new year was partly about starting again and partly about being grateful for all the blessings that had been granted the previous year. It was a warm welcome to new fortunes and the courage to confront problems gracefully and compassionately. Rick stared at his family as their attention fell to the newest member; his son from his departed first wife and his adopted daughter. They had fought so hard and lost so much to ensure they made it. reminding him of the bad, his mind ran to his dear, long gone friend Hershel, and his words to him,

 'Things break, but they can still grow. These little bristles, they'll take root,'.  

His wife was spent but she still held a peaceful smile on her face, gawking at their son swaddled in her arms, the first biological child between the two of them. Judith slipped her finger into his outstretched palm and watched as the tiny body curled around it. His gentle breath touched the back of her hand. Her playful day already slipping away as she observed her new brother.

Rick was going to speak again when Carl spoke first.

“We can’t use fireworks to celebrate but we do have the sparklers! It’ll be nice just to have something, right, Judy?”

“Yeahhh!”

“Alright, you two go now. I’ll keep Michonne and the baby company.”

Carl took Judith after she planted a kiss on her new baby brother and off they went. Michonne, feeling her husband’s eyes on her, allows their gazes to meet. They both knew this was what they struggled and fought so hard for. It wouldn’t be easy but year after year, he would make sure his children—all three of them—lived the best life, a full life. Michonne stretched out her hand.

“Rick…” Her words were weary and had a dream-like quality to them, as she seemed to crave the solace of rest, the enticement of the nice bed beckoned to her tired body.

“Darlin, what's wrong? Uncomfortable? Tell me, I’ll get it…” She shook her head, confusing him.

“His name; I have it.”

“Yeah?” His tone was gentle as he lowered his body next to her and she placed their newborn in his arms. “What is it?"

“RJ. Richard Daniel Grimes Junior... Do you like it?”

“I grateful…” Rick's eyes grew damp. He didn’t expect her to name their little boy after him. “You sure?”

“I’m sure… He’ll be as smart, sweet and determined just like his namesake… Just like his dad.”

“Thank you.” Bending over, as he kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear.

“No, thank you.” 

[princesssarisa]

Winnie the Pooh for the character ask

Favorite thing about them: How cute, sweet, and innocent he is.

Least favorite thing about them: Hmm... I guess the way he drives Rabbit crazy by eating all his honey and by causing other problems with his innocent bumbling.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I'm chubby.

*I love sweets.

*I often sing to myself.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm female.

*I'm human.

*I like to think I have more than "very little brain."

Favorite line:

From the original books:

Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie, A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly. Ask me a riddle and I reply Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.

And when Christopher Robin asks him what he likes best:

"What I like best in the whole world is Me and Piglet going to see You, and You saying 'what about a little something?' and Me saying, 'Well, I shouldn't mind a little something, should you, Piglet,' and it being a hummy sort of day outside, and birds singing."

From Disney's The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh:

When he gets stuck in Rabbit's front door and Rabbit says it all comes from eating too much:

"It all comes from not having front doors big enough."

When Tigger asks him "What's a Pooh?" when they first meet:

"You're sitting on one."

From The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh:

"You know, Piglet, sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love."

From Pooh's Grand Adventure:

"You're just in time for my favorite part of the day... When you and me become we."

brOTP: All his friends, but especially Christopher Robin and Piglet.

OTP: None, he's happily single.

nOTP: Anyone, really.

Random headcanon: In the Disney Pooh-verse, Pooh and the other stuffed animals have been passed down to different generations of owners over the years, so there have been multiple "Christopher Robins." Being naïve, Pooh and friends think they're always with the same little boy, who just "goes away" for a while, but then always comes back. But really, they've been passed down from the original Christopher Robin to his son, then grandson, and so forth. This explains why The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh has more modern technology like TV and monster movies, for example, and why Christopher Robin has an American accent in that series – he's the original Christopher Robin's grandson, and by the time he was born, the family had moved from England to America. (I can't take credit for this headcanon, though. Someone wrote it on TV Tropes.)

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have one.

Song I associate with them:

"Winnie the Pooh"

"Rumbly in My Tumbly"

"I'm Just a Little Black Raincloud"

"The Right Side" from Welcome to Pooh Corner.

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh theme song

The theme song of the Winnie the Pooh Playtime VHS series (which was also used with different lyrics for the similar Learning and Friendship videos)

Kenny Loggins' "House at Pooh Corner"

Favorite picture of them:

Some of Ernest Shepard's classic illustrations:

Disney's Pooh:

And as a bonus, the original Winnie the Pooh teddy bear that belonged to Christopher Robin Milne. He's less round and cuddly than our popular image of Pooh – Ernest Shepard modeled the illustrations after his own son's teddy bear instead – but still, in his own way, he's beautiful.