#and then do sloppy gay makeouts about it

[glitterdustcyclops]

so anyway last night i went to the githyanki creche and did that whole thing and i'm so glad i did because it just made me love lae'zel even more? like in my other playthroughs i skipped that so i when i got to baldur's gate and she went hard down the fanaticism pipeline i was kind of like "oh bbgirl why" but doing it this way, and she is actually willing to listen to the fact that the queen she worships as a literal god does not have her best interests at heart?? even though you can tell that absolutely terrifies her, she does not know who she is if she's not a servant of vlaakith, but she's willing to turn her back on all of that for what she sees as following the truth, and omg i love her sm for it

[buddierecs]

humour/crack buddie fics

all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

nobody knows you, baby, the way i do by allyasavedtheday "buck and eddie bet hen and chimney that they know each other better than they do and a rivalry ensues. featuring one-upmanship, codependency, ravi as reluctant quizmaster and eddie believing his will is the ultimate trump card." word count: 3.7k important tags: humour, fluff, bet & wagers, feelings realization, first kiss 1001 reasons not to get drunk with your sisters boyfriend by: withmeornotatall "buck and chimney have a little too much fun on a night out and end up in a tattoo shop. when the tattoo artist asks what buck wants, he can't decide between eddie and christopher." word count: 4.3k important tags: drunken shenanigans, tattoos, possessive!eddie, getting together, sloppy makeouts, team as family the one where the 118 play "never have i ever" & chaos ensures by: dylaesthetics "playing never have i ever during a slow shift goes as well as you can probably expect." word count: 3.1k important tags: team as family, love confessions, teasing, friends to lovers, first kiss the kermit verse by: hattalove "how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways." word count: 8.7k important tags: christopher diaz is a national treasure, getting together, first kiss, memes those two firefighters by: darkfairytale "#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not." word count: 64k important tags: crack treated seriously, oblivious!buddie, internet, social media, slow burn does your firehouse know? by: allyasavedtheday after chimney accidentally discovers buck and eddie are together they ask him to keep it a secret for a few weeks while they settle into their relationship. it goes about as well as expected. word count: 7.5k important tags: secret relationship, fluff, crack, pov outsider woke up the girl who looked just like you, i almost said your name by: rarakiplin "five times Eddie dates a guy a little too similar to Buck, and one time he dates the real deal." word count: 8.9k important tags: 5+1 things, jealous!evan buckley, getting together, pov outsider i just wanna tell you how i'm feeling by: calvingseason "healing through shitty memes sure is cathartic." word count: 7.6k important tags: memes, getting together, coming out, first kiss, love confessions yours apparently by: smilingbuckley "buck and eddie are accused of hiding their relationship... even though they're not together." word count: 7.3k important tags: misunderstandings, different know they were dating, feelings realisation, first kiss, idiots in love good luck, babe by: hattalove "sometimes, when you've had a bad week, all you want is a romantic evening out with your wife over terrible pizza, and what you get instead is some kind of intricate gay ritual happening two tables away from you." word count: 2.1k important tags: outsider pov, tommy kinard, marisol, social media, jealous!eddie diaz you were looking at me first by: hattalove "in which buck likes to be naked when he's at home, and eddie likes it when buck feels at home under his roof. these are two things that can definitely coexist." word count: 3.4k important tags: nudity, getting together, first kiss, gay disaster!eddie diaz the ducking of evan buckley by: browney3dgirl6 "buck doesn’t have any ducks for his jeep. eddie decides to fix that. aka 5 times eddie secretly leaves ducks for buck, and the one time he hands one right to him." word count: 13k important tags: 5+1 things, bad puns, soft!buddie, christopher diaz is a national treasure, oblivious!evan buckley, idiots in love say (don't) go by: bccalling eddie starts dropping hints he wants more kids. buck assumes he means with marisol. buck spirals about it. eddie does not mean with marisol. word count: 20k important tags: pre-relationship, getting together, kid fic, mutual pining, domestic fluff

[perseidlion]

Behold, my first strictly Payneland fic!

Daydreamers (3642 words) by perseid_lion Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland Characters: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland (DCU) Additional Tags: Pining, Mutual Pining, sexual awakening, First Kiss, Charles Rowland Loves Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne Loves Charles Rowland, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Gay, Gay Male Character, First Crush, payneland, Daydreaming, Fantasy, Sexual Fantasy, Banter, Non-Graphic Smut, POV Charles Rowland (DCU), POV Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Gay Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Bisexual Charles Rowland (DCU), Revelations, Sloppy Makeouts, One Shot Series: Part 5 of Perseid_Lion's Dead Boy Detectives Summary: Ghosts can't sleep, but they can daydream. Those daydreams sometimes bring revelations. --- “You’re much too tense, mate. You should relax. You’ve been poring over those books for hours.”

“How can I possibly be tense, Charles?” countered Edwin. Then he returned to looking at a book and said idly, “I don’t have muscles.” 

Charles swaggered over to Edwin. He smiled in that oh-so-charming way of his, then sat on the edge of Edwin’s desk. “Well, I don’t know how it works, exactly. But your shoulders have been creeping up to your ears with each minute that goes by. Maybe you’re self-actualizing your ghost body into a big ball of stress.” He leaned forward into Edwin’s field of view and arched his brows.

Edwin lifted his head. When he met Charles’ warm brown eyes with a slightly mischievous twinkle to them, he felt the memory of his heart skip a beat. “There’s simply…” he straightened and cleared his throat, “...a lot to do, is all.”

Charles bit the edge of his lip, cocked his head, then hopped off the desk. “I think I can help.”

“Yes, it would be very good if you would pick up a book, Charles,” said Edwin flatly.

“No, not that,” said Charles as he circled around behind him.

Edwin was not prepared for Charles’ hand or his shoulders, or the soft massaging that followed. 

“Full of ghost knots, you are. Gotta work out your ectoplasm.” 

Normally, Edwin would have some sort of biting remark in response to that, but instead, he found himself overwhelmed by the contact. Charles touched him all the time in casual ways, but something about this was different. 

Charles started with massaging his shoulders, then the curve of his neck. Then, his hand slid around his collarbone and deft fingers slid under the knot of his bowtie. The finger rooted around in the knot until he worked it free. His other hand reached around to finish untying it. Then, he slid his fingers under Edwin’s chin, down over his throat, then inside his collar.

Edwin closed his eyes and sunk in the feeling of warm, deft, and lightly calloused fingers sliding along his neck. As he swallowed, Charles chased his adam’s apple and caressed it with his thumb. He felt the tiniest constriction of his airway from the motion that gave him a shock of excitement.

His ghostly body carried the memory of life. Often, the sensation was elusive and dull. But at others - like now - appeared in brilliant colour. They hadn’t quite figured out what triggered it, but he chased the feeling like an addict.

Edwin craned his neck and leaned his head back against Charles’ chest. He opened his eyes to see Charles smiling down at him.

“That’s better,” said Charles. He rested both hands flat against Edwin’s collarbone from behind. Then his fingers danced back to his collar and started to undo the buttons. Once there was enough space, he slid his hand down the front of his shirt.

Edwin gasped and arched his back. He reached up instinctively to cover the hand underneath his shirt. Then he felt a soft, warm kiss at the curve of his neck, and hot breath against his earlobe. 

“Edwin.”

“Mhmm….” Edwin lolled his head to the side and lifted a hand to reach behind him and slide through Charles’ short hair. He caressed gently and pulled him forward. 

Charles kissed his neck again, tracing his tongue along the curve of his jaw. Then he caught the edge of his earlobe between his teeth, pinched lightly, and then released it. 

“Edwin!”

Edwin sat up with a start. He knocked a stapler off the desk and barely managed to catch it before it hit the floor. He remained doubled over, breathing heavily, staring at his own feet and the 1950s red Swingline stapler in his hand. 

“You all right? Been calling your name for like, five minutes.” 

Keep reading.

[paramountpetrichor]

*kicking legs while laying on my bed, curling the phone chord between my fingers* okay so I know you like ts4ms s&m, so do you ever think about:

1. Moon and Sun reflecting on how they were the First and have been together the longest, how they shared a body directly, how being One has affected them forever leading them to love each other in every way possible? And just loving the family they have accidentally grown together? (That's literally so gay/pos)

2. Sun confessing to new moon and wishing they could be together again

-ouchthenarcopath

*hanging upside-down off of the side of my bed, drumming my fingers against my Own phone cord* yes i've ABSOLUTELY thought about these things <3

they are literally each other's necessary other half. dark and light. yin and yang. black and white. life and death. love and hate. ouroborus' tail- i could go on and on and on and on a

n' not to be deranged But the celestial family tree is already a goddamn dreamcatcher so. do you ever wonder if S&M ever, even if just briefly, question if some of the other celestials are.. technically their kid(s)??? cause like.. technically Eclipse is. Technically. airing this out there bc please imagine either Sun or Moon realizing this, which then makes him have a Brief thought of Actually having kids with the other, and (doesn't matter if it was Sun or Moon) that thought kills /pos him on the spot sigsigaiga

AND YESYESYES YESSSSS. Sun would just need to get his feelings out there- cause, no, he doesn't expect N.M to return his feelings, but Sun just can't handle having all this love inside him anymore. Just let him say it all once, Moon. just let him say it, and please don't hate him or find him disgusting, because after he's able to say it all just once, he'll never say it again. he promises, He Promises.

Sun was Not expecting Moon to cut his rambling ass off by initiating a makeout session- Sloppy Style IAFIGDIGAIGAOATOYA

yes, hi my little pogchamps, im being Insane about ts//ams SxM again, who could've Possibly seen this coming?? i need to mash their faces together like barbie n' ken dolls rn. and then they should fall asleep Cuddlin' cause awaguagiagia <3<3

[sunflowersandforgetmenots]

Sloppy Makeout HCs

There's NO ONE asking for it. But here it is. Gay ass!!!! that's me!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to @ashmatashs and @kassandras-one-braincell

I hope that tagged right

Kassandra

When is it likely to get a sloppy makeout sesh: All the time any time

Kisses are all tongue and teeth, biting on your lip and tugging, just to get a little noise out of you. It’s like she feeds off of moans from you when you makeout (even though she loves them all the time).

In fact she’ll do literally anything to make you moan into her mouth. Tangling her fingers in your hair, tugging on the strands. Grabbing your thighs just to feel the skin squish against her hands. Pressing you into her…

If you’re wearing a skirt, expect her to push the fabric up to the top of your legs. Shorts or pants? Her fingers are on your back, dipping under the waist band to tease you. If we’re historically accurate? Chitons have lots places to run hands under.

Isn’t strapped all the time, but likes to do it randomly to surprise you once you’re in her lap. Thinks it’s hot when you grind down, even if she’s not wearing one

She loves to pick you up and press you against the wall or the door or a window… it’s all of her favorite things at once. Holding your thighs, pressing you in close, your hips rolling, you moaning.

Soma

When is it likely: She’s either gotta be drunk or in a mood

This shit… it’s sloppy. She’s knocking things over to push them off so there’s more space for you. She’s rambling, talking about how beautiful you are, how hot you are, how she’s going to ruin you, how you’re precious to her. Just the sweetest stuff, really. We love her

No matter what you’re wearing, she’s desperate to touch your skin. Shirt and bottoms? Your shirt is either off or er hands are up it. Dress? She’s unzipping it or snaking her hands under the skirt to get to your legs. Layers? They’re off. No choice, she HAS to touch you

Always likely when she gets like this to duck down and eat you out. Says it’s the “sloppiest makeout” and grins when you laugh.

Throws you on the bed after. You’re not getting up when you look all dazed just from her lips.

Eivor

When is she likely for it?: Doesn’t need to be loosened up, but it’s not as frequent that Kass wants to sloppy makeout

Have you seen her kiss Randvi?? Once she gets permission for a kiss, she GOES for it. Intense, fast, sudden, passionate

Wants to lose herself into it. Wants to forget about her troubles and life, wants to help you forget about your own life. For her, everything is about the kiss.

Has you in her grasp, and she can’t stop kissing you. Her lungs nearly go out, stupid oxygen. You both pull away, gasping for air, and once you’re both fine, she goes back in for more.

She BITES. She loves leaving a mark, and she never wants to stop. A part of me wants to say that she likes drawing a little bit of blood, but only if you’re really into it.

Won’t ask or say anything about it, but she wants you to bite back. To go back in with the same passion and feralness. Will melt if you hit back with that.

Sevika

When is she likely for it?: She likes to ‘plan’ for it. Def goes into a meeting with you with the intention for one.

It’s Sevika. She’s mean. She teases you. Kisses you softly, then when you try to deepen it, she pulls away, laughing at your frustration and whines. She doesn’t leave for long, always coming back in to give you what you want.

Eivor bites, but Sevika marks. All over.

Throat, neck, shoulders, chest. She always leaves one on your clavicle, biting down hard even though she knows it hurts. But it’s always fine because she runs her tongue over the mark to make it feel better.

Wears her biggest strap all the time for it. She loves it when you rock your hips and grind against her. Will hold your hips to encourage it and guide you. If you cum from it? She’s whipping it out and making you ride it. Not that you have any complaints though.

Abby

When is she likely for it?: Usually always down for it, but loves makeouts after she’s stressed or upset.

Pull. Her. Hair. She loves it. Her braid is there for you to pull as hard as you can. Loves using her teeth. Likes making you ‘angry’ and frustrated. Thinks it’s hot when you fuss at her and go back in or a kiss anyways.

She’s a hand-roamer. Anything you let her squeeze and massage she’ll do so. Tits, ass, legs, arms, back. She just likes touching you and riling you up.

Soft lips… and she knows it. She pouts and chews on things just to make you think about kissing her, and that way you’ll bite them in the moment.

I love her your honor

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

I’m gonna be real the TF2 fandom has a weird tendency to make posts where it’s like “(two characters of your choosing) kissing! Scout looks on in disgust in horror!” And it’s like. Weirdly uncomfortable, like it just feels like the same “being gay is gross and weird!!!” Humor that “peaked” in the late 90s early 2000/10s (and before that obviously, but was weirdly everywhere during then)

Ehh I don't actually think it's That big of a deal and I think ur really drawing a false equivalence. I think an important difference between "Scout looks on in horror at heavymedic sloppy makeout" posts now and "being gay is gross and weird!" jokes from the 90s is that in the latter, the gay people are the butt of the joke, while in the former, Scout is the butt of the joke. I do think at some point "homophobic Scout" can become a bit of a tired joke, I do hope we get over that soon, but most iterations of what I've seen that ur talking about will fall either into a "I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me"/"Scout is sexually repressed" type of joke OR a joke type similar to "kids being grossed out seeing their parents kissing", which is unrelated to anyone being gay (think "Scout is grossed out by the photos of Spy with his ma" as being the same kinda joke as "Scout is grossed out by heavymedic sloppy makeout" jokes from people who do the "Heavy and Medic are Scout's Gay Dads(tm)" thing). I think you're reallyyyyyy interpreting these kinds of jokes in bad faith lmao there is absolutely nothing similar in my opinion between idk. "Scout's entire team except him is in a polyamorous relationship and he didn't know" and "gay jokes from the 90s".

[thekuraning]

Fic ask

4, 13, 20!

HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.

Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.

its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.

anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.

also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided

i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters

i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end

13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for

so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.

ahem.

im normal now.

anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.

You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.

You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)

anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.

don't be like farla.

edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.

[redactedwriting]

https://www.tumblr.com/cemeterysexdrive/23247550315/interviewer-is-it-true-ryan-ross-hooked-up-with?source=share

okay i know they were just joking around but that wont stop me from taking this. and running with it. like what kind of escapades🤨🤨🤨 sloppy makeouts just as bros? just to see what its like because ohmygod ryan what do you MEAN youve never kissed a guy? and maybe it goes on wayyy longer than necessary until you pass out on the couch together? watching bad porn together but its not gay because youre not touching each other maybe only yourselves? handjobs that totally dont make you gay either because if you bury your face in his neck and dont look down its basically the same as jerking yourself off? and how different is giving a guy head from going down on a woman and ryans maybe just curious and just once ahahaha we're friendssss right we're cool right? 🤨?

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

i’m stuck on the handjob one. jesus christ. pete and ryan jerking off beside each other watching gay porn. pete’s making half breathy commentary about how hot the dudes are and ryan’s so shy about saying anything like that but he’d nod along. god maybe the bottom gets his ass slapped or he gags hard or something and ryan whimpers and that’s when he leans into pete’s neck, and pete gets tingly all over and so desperately wants to pull ryan’s hair but he doesn’t, just breathes “yeah, baby,” and it’s vague enough that it could be aimed at ryan or it could just be in general but ryan takes it as aimed towards him and he just about comes from it

[ankhisms]

thinking about how the general advice about life and creating ive gotten thats actually been helpful to me and my growth has been like

- do research and learn and practice but dont beat yourself up about not knowing everything. keep your beginners spirit and remember the feeling of childlike awe and wonder at the beauty of the world

- get a little silly with it

- be earnest with whatever emotion youre putting into the work even when it feels embarrassing or "cringe"

- make it even if its messy or not perfect or not what you pictured in your head because at least youve made it

- be self indulgent with it. draw those sloppy gay makeouts

- be kind to your past self and your past creative works when looking back. your mistakes/things that you couldve done are lessons for yourself now to grow from

[natjennie]

watching the terror and I am FASCINATED I think we just finished episode uhhhh 3? ladder. some scattered thoughts so far:

- I love those saucy little gay bitches, I really expected them to makeout sloppy style as they were arguing there was a lot of sexual tension there

- I thought this show was about cannibalism I didn't know there was like a fucking crazy monster

- I have a feeling the ring that that boy wanted to give to his sister might come back up? idk why but the doctor like motioned forgetting it and I feel like that was important. maybe not.

- I hate when people in media see a supernatural beast and are like "that's a bear" homie NO it's not

- but also the fact that the creature whatever it is isn't like. eating them. if it was a wild animal it wouldn't kill them for fun, it would just eat them. but people getting their jaw and legs ripped off and shoved down a hole like. this thing is intelligent.

- speaking of legs coming off, the alaskan man's carvings, one of them was like a head and torso with no limbs, right? I couldn't see very well. anyway does that mean anything?

- also what the fuck does the spoiled rations have to do with anything. is this all like. mold poisoning and they're slowly getting sick and insane. is that what this is. or is it just to set up them running out of food.

- lastly, I have kind of a crazy crackpot theory that there's a shape-shifting thing going on? I don't have any reason for this other than thinking about the thing. a sort of vampire/werewolf situation where a crew member sneaks off once in a while to feed. I'm gonna keep an eye open if there's anyone suspiciously absent from scenes with the beast. food for thought.

[wtf-tfw]

THE BIBBLE PART 1

On the first day, God made zest. From that zest he was able to bless. From those bless he did his best to create the chest of the best of the best. And on the second day, God decided to stop rhyming because he wasn't very good at that. From there his productivity skyrocketed, what with all the free time generated from not having to come up with rhymes, his sister was right, it was a stupud gimmick anyways. Next he invented the tree, the bouncy ball, flowers and rabbits, cookies and cream, eggs and telephones, unmanned machine guns, rapid growth boyfriend capsules, and classical music. His army of little gay sky babies worked day in and day out to fabricate the Things for the world. It was God's world and he was going to decorate it however he wanted. On the third day, God had hot girl artist burnout and was like "UGHHHH I really already exhausted all my best ideas this suckkssss" so he phoned his sister and she said "Well why don't you make people?"

"People?" God said.

"Yeah, you know, people! Three legs, little genital things, weird skin, all 'bleaghh i have to go to work!' and all that" said God's sister.

And God thanked his sister for the idea and hung up, only to shortly thereafter roll his eyes because three legs?? What was she thinking, that was clearly overkill. But he got to work anyways cauze his sister was prety cool overall she knew what she was talking about.

---

in the GARDEN of PEEDEN,

Peeve, the woman-type and Tinkle-Adam the man-bug. They explored the GARDEN and found it to be full of swag. They said "I love this- thanks God, its just like America should be: one man and one woman!"

God tutted at this and set down his shrimp poke bowl. Why were they already being weird little conservatives instead of freaking that shit nasty style. Its like he got this party goin for nothign?! And he begged and begged for them to eat the fruit of the Freak Tree so that theyd eat the Freak Fruit and become nasty little freaks who like sloppy style makeouts and smoking clove cigarettes in caves but they were always like "No. No God, we aren't into that kind of thing" And God was so disappointed. So he called his sister and she was like "You have to assert your dominance man, you can't let those little tightasses control you okay. Let them know who's boss." And God said okay.

Peeve shouted and cried as God took her rib from her. Tinkle-Adam screeched in pain as a testicle was taken from him (now he only had two) Using the rib and the testicle, God made the third Human, Gobbler. Gobbler was going to fix everything, so the punishment of pain and the blessing of Gobbler was really a two in one. Gobbler was a nasty little freak who liked beer and humping things and God thought he was Awesome with a capital A.

Gobbler was releaseed into the Garden of Peeden. And immediately he was like "OH this is the releast, Bruv!" (He called God 'Bruv' because he was made that way) Gobbler taught Tinkle-Adam the joys of beef-eating and Peeve the joys of rump-roasting. The three enjoyed a number of beef-related hobbies together. Take that as you will.

But one day, the Regular Devil from a book known as the Bible became real in the world and said "No, no no! You are doing this so very wrong! You are raising a bunch of imbecilic hoodlums! Stop this nonsense immediately!" And the Regular Devil blasted the creatures with Shame and suddenly they all became aware of their weird penises.

God used his Authority though, and shooed the Regular Devil out of his work of fiction. What a prick! But it was too late, the humans had already noticed their weird penises and they no longer could enjoy the beautiful snails and shrimps and sailboats and mosquitoes and acoustic guitars and bonfires and magic erasers and tattoo parlors and hamburger patties of the Garden of Peeden anymore. They were just too ashamed of their weird penises.

And God was like "I'm--I'm so sorry about that you guys. Tinkle-Adam, Peeve, Gobbler, are you guys like...good?" And Tinkle-Adam scratched his neck and looked to the side. Peeve wouldn't make eye contact with him anymore. These two were back to their old stick-up-their-ass-but-not-in-the-fun-way ways again. "S-Surely not you too, Gobbler!" But Gobbler did not look at God. He simply looked at his weird penis. He sat down, and was absorbed into the Earth, never to be seen again.

It was so over. It was so astronomically over. God's sister wasn't answering his calls. He was so fucked, dude. Peeve made the big decision to leave the Garden of Peeden, and Tinkle-Adam followed with her. Hoping that maybe the rest of the crazy world God had created would help to reunite that spark of joy they had time with Gobbler in the Garden.

Eventually they found it in themselves to get freaky again a couple more times....but that's a story for part TWO!

---

[yesiwasateenagewerewolf]

Hey, did you know that in the book Derry has a gay bar?

It's called The Falcon and it's where Don and Adrien met. It's wasn't opened as a gay bar, but was adopted by the gay population of Derry (mostly single men) in 1977.

I really just love this little nugget of information.

[its-just-a-fayz]

Heartbeat On Air: Chapter 15

read on ao3

chapter 14/chapter 16

masterpost

tag list: @emilybarger​ @lordcheesy​ @sheeswee​ @tayuya3​ @sweetlialia​ (hit up my askbox if you want to be added/removed)

a/n: i am posting this during school hence the weird time. woot woot.

“Did you hear Jack got a girlfriend?” Quinn said, “because I wish that was me, brah.”

Sixteen-year-old Sam looked back at him. They had just wrapped up playing video games in his basement, and now it was the time where they actually talked about things. He slumped on the couch. “Me too. I wanna kiss a girl, you know. Like…”

“Girlfriends are work, though. I mean, you have to text them and talk to them and probably end up getting dumped and maybe they won’t want to kiss you. It’d be much easier to like…” Quinn contemplated his words for a few seconds. He still wasn’t completely sure about this thought. “...date one of the guys. No hassle, you’d just stay being friends after and wouldn’t have to like, talk about it.”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded in agreement with sixteen-year-old Quinn. As if the idea had just struck him (which it hadn’t), he looked Quinn up and down. “Hey, we could try that. Like, the two of us.”

“Yeah. I mean, we already know each other. We could skip the getting-to-know-each-other part and get to the like, kissing. The fun stuff,” Quinn said, nodding.

“But like, not gay,” Sam said.

“No homo, obviously,” Quinn said. Then, hesitantly, but with the sureness of someone who has no idea what he’s actually doing, he closed the distance between him and Sam. Not entirely, but enough for the musty scent of the basement to be replaced by the intensely personal scent of each other.

“So, about the kissing thing,” Sam said, going a little cross eyed at Quinn so close to him.

“Yeah,” Quinn said, leaning forwards to touch his lips to Sam’s.

It was a terribly awkward first kiss, although neither were really counting it as a first kiss at that moment. At first, it was just their lips smushed together, with both of their eyes open. Eventually, though, they opened their mouths and moved onto a proper, if not sloppy, makeout session.

At least a few months passed, with many more clandestine rendezvous like the first, before Sam realized he was actually really enjoying the whole making-out-with-his-best-friend thing, which was definitely also a gay thing.

Well, shit, was his first thought. He was, undeniably, gay. And smack in the middle of a small, subtly homophobic town, where his highschool didn’t even have a like, gay club, and he and his buddies made anti-gay jokes on the regular. Also, feelings were beginning to develop. He wanted to take Quinn on dates. And hold his hand, and talk about their futures together, and watch movies together, and have sex, and support each together…

And maybe this wasn’t anything serious to Quinn and they would break up—was it even breaking up?—and Sam would be left alone as a closeted gay kid with nothing to do and a secret to hide.

Fortunately, about a week later, Quinn also realized that he was, in fact, developing actual feelings for Sam. His best friend slash...dare he say it? Boyfriend. He went through a similar thought process as Sam, and arrived at a different conclusion: Quinn didn’t want him and Sam to be whatever it was they were unless Sam knew.

And maybe, a little part of him hoped, felt the same way.

At this point, they were meeting places other than Sam’s basement. Like Quinn’s basement, and the shed where they kept their boards. Both had, separately, considered trying the closets at school during lunch and after school, but neither really wanted to make that move. It was too dangerous.

It was at the surf shed when Quinn brought it up. It was in between kisses when he actually remembered that he’d been meaning to bring it up.

“Sam, hey Sam, stop, hold on,” Quinn said, in between Sam trying to continue kissing him. “I think I might have feelings for you. Like, gay romantic feelings.”

Quinn had expected Sam to call off their meetings, or say “But we’re not gay so it’s not gay.” What he did not expect was for Sam to look down at the floor and say:

“Me too. Kind of. Like, I want to take you on actual dates and stuff. Hold your hand,” Sam said. Both of them looked down at their hands. Sam’s were at the back of Quinn’s neck, where he’d been pulling Quinn’s face towards him. Quinn’s were around Sam’s waist.

They were most decidedly not holding hands. “So, do you wanna be...boyfriends or something?” Quinn asked, “I know we used to think being gay was wrong and shit, but”-he squeezed Sam tighter, closer to him-“I’m reconsidering.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, “I think that would be cool. I actually looked some stuff about the LGBT community up online, and…I think it’s gonna be ok.”

And that was the beginning of Sam and Quinn, the origin story they’d told no one except each other for so long. With good reason, of course. They hadn’t had anyone to tell it to, and Sam was personally too embarrassed by the story to even bring it up in conversation.

***

“I can’t believe you actually told her,” Sam said to Quinn, glaring at him. “If I had my way, those memories would be wiped from my brain with bleach.”

Quinn nuzzled his nose against Sam’s. “But then you wouldn’t have me.”

Sam’s face cracked into a smile. “True, true. We’ve grown a lot since summer of sophomore year, and mostly for the better. And I love having you as my boyfriend, even if it’s just the two of us who know about it.” He leaned in to kiss Quinn, soft and slow.

Astrid waved her hand at their faces. “And me. Don’t forget that I also know about this thing. Also Caine. You guys have told people. You’re like, one foot out of the closet.”

“Hm, what were you saying?” Sam asked, pausing his kiss with Quinn. “I was too busy kissing my boyfriend, who I would die for.”

“As the kids say these days,” Astrid said, “We been knew.”

Sam and Quinn fully separated from each other. “Our movie’s in a little bit,” Quinn said, “Let’s go, we can be gay for as long as we want in the theater, where it’s dark.” He gave Sam a look that made Astrid feel like she was intruding on a private moment.

The movie was fun, an action movie that turned out to be more like a rom-com. Contrary to their behaviour before entering the theater, Sam and Quinn silently ate popcorn while watching the movie. Astrid sat next to them, with her own bowl of popcorn, and half-watched the movie.

Mostly, she thought about Sam and Quinn’s weird origin. After actually hearing it, Astrid understood why Sam didn’t want to talk about it. She could also see that Quinn was determined to move beyond that awkward beginning, and that moving on meant acknowledging and understanding what had got them there.

And at the end of the day, they were both grateful for hurried first kisses in a dark basement for bringing them together, and helping them realize who they were. It was a lesson Astrid needed at the time, because she needed to know that her and Diana could move past a rough patch, and even emerge stronger for it.

Of course, threats by a psychopath were a bit different than internalized homophobia and teenage embarrassment. Nevertheless, no matter how long it took before Caine was out of the picture, Astrid found herself confident that she and Diana could get back together. Diana hadn’t ended the relationship because there was no love between them, she’d ended it because there was too much.

Eventually, the movie went to credits, and the trio left the theater. “So,” Sam said, “did that cure you of your loneliness from Diana?”

“A little. I mean, I’m still sad, but at least I don’t share a body with my girlfriend, because it would be hard to break up in that situation,” she joked. “But I feel a little better about what could happen. Diana and I could very well get through this and come out stronger.”

“I hope you guys do,” Quinn said, “Because I actually kind of want to go on a proper gay double date with you guys. The last one was hella awkward.”

Astrid laughed. “Don’t you have other gay friends to go on double dates with? I know you guys are closeted, but you have to know some people.”

“Well, we do, but according to Quinn,” Sam said, “it’s only a proper gay double date if it’s one lesbian couple and one gay couple because that way it’s not a, uh, ‘hang with the guys.’” He gave his boyfriend a look, showing that he didn’t put much stock in Quinn’s rationalization of the idea.

“Look, whenever we double date with Edilio and Roger, it literally just feels like a hangout. We need ladies in the equation, Sam, otherwise we start making dick jokes,” Quinn said.

“Ok, but isn’t the point of a date with the two of us,” Sam said, leaning closer to Quinn, “is that there’s no ladies involved?”

“Get a room, you two. Also, Diana and I are bi. Dick jokes abound in our conversations,” Astrid said. Her expression immediately became more downcast after mentioning Diana. “As they would during a normal double date.”

“Sorry,” Quinn said. “I don’t know, I just wanted to get to know you and Diana better. Diana seems like a cool chick, and she’s objectively hot.”

“Yeah, she’s hot. What did you guys think of the movie?” Astrid asked, a little more quickly than necessary.

Diana was most definitely a sore subject.

[depressedtransguy]

heyy don’t ready this unless you’re @angelwiththeblue-box or I’ll cover you in peanut butter so my dog will eat you and then spray catnip on your legs so my cats will shred them

Loki raced down the palace's steps with the heels of his shoes clicking against the stone, his formerly perfectly done hair bouncing and swishing around his shoulders from his speed, the gel undoing itself as he moved. He could practically hear his servant lecturing him later about making her do it again with only minutes to spare before the jousting. But that small amount of time left was the very reason he was racing down the stairs, headed toward the stables where he knew that the knights were preparing their horses.

On the first Sunday of every month, without fail, the Kingdom of Asgard joined together in their royal coliseum to see the knights battle and win feats for the public's entertainment. And, as the prince, Loki was expected to attend each one for its entirety. When he was younger he found it incredibly boring and complained immensely as an attempt to get out of it, but as he aged and grew into his deep attraction for men, he found himself leaning over the royal box's railing just to get a closer look at their bodies, imagining the sweat beading at their foreheads and muscles flexing underneath the armor, soft grunts released as their swords clashed together. Yes... he was very gay. Especially when the winners pulled off their helmets and waved to the crowd, revealing their ridiculously attractive faces pressed with dirt and sweat. Loki winked down at them, and they winked back. And when he was even older, from a mature teenager to young adult, those winks became sloppy open mouthed kisses covered under the cloak of night and hours of the prince being fucked from behind, his cheek pressed up against the rock walls that bordered the knight's sleeping quarters, bruises growing at his hips while his moans could be heard throughout the entire wing. He had been passed around by quite a few knights by the time he reached 24. Sometimes when one was pounding into him another one would hear and barge in to fuck his mouth.

But that was all before he met Stephen. Dark brown haired with some curling over his forehead, gray eyed, snarky, funny, beautiful Stephen. Yet another knight was he, but one that surprisingly hadn't fucked him yet. They came together around his 25th birthday when Loki was watching the knights practice sparring, and they were all tripping over themselves trying to impress him as usual. Their overeagerness to prove themselves like enthusiastic puppies was adorable. But that time, one stood out among the rest. Stephen. His moves were beautiful and smooth, almost angelic, yet still strong and forceful. He easily topped all the rest. Until, in the middle of their last fight, Stephen spotted Loki staring and biting his lip, and paused then to wink at him. But that stunt got him knocked down and defeated. Loki keeled over cackling.

The man who took him down during the wink-Jeff was his name-struck a strong pose when Loki's laughing had ceased enough for him to look up at the scene, thinking he had won his affection for the night since he had won the training exercise. But when Loki stood up he pushed right past him and kneeled next to where Stephen laid on the ground. Was it worth it? was the first thing he said. Worth winking at you? Yes, I'd certainly say so, was the first thing Stephen said. After that, the two started talking and spent the rest of the day together walking along the grounds to discuss their similar interests with some privacy. That was different than what the knights usually did with him, but Loki was the last person to complain about having someone let him rant about Shakespeare until he was pink in the face. The night took an even weirder direction though. After it grew dark the pair still stayed out to look at the stars for a bit until Loki started to shiver and Stephen offered to walk him to his room. Now that Loki was used to. 'Walk you to your room' was a term that he was familiar with before his nails were tearing holes in his silk sheets. Loki assumed that's what was happening as he found himself backed up against his bedroom door with one of Stephen's hands holding his as the other cupped his cheek and him leaning in. But right before their lips touched, Stephen raised Loki's hand and kissed his knuckles with the whisper goodnight Your Majesty. Then he vanished down to his quarters, leaving the prince confused, irritated, and horribly turned on.

As weeks passed of the pair flirting yet no sex happening, Loki rejected every other knight's passes in his chase to get Stephen. Ironically, Loki despised those stories about how when one party (usually a man) deprived the second party (usually a woman) of either sex or a relationship, and then the second party wants them more. He found them gross and pretty misogynistic. But Stephen was being caring and sweet and kind, not jerkish and neglectful like those stories usually represented the guys, and he was just keeping him teetering on the edge of their relationship taking that step further. It was undeniably hot. Especially as the other knights got angry with Stephen for depriving them too of something. Loki. But he never stopped until once, at last, after a ball that Loki hadn't particularly liked, Stephen and him slowly danced in the empty hall with him in a small green party dress that he prayed would make the knight finally make a move, bodies pressed together from shoulder to hip, and they kissed for the first time. It was electric and soft and groundbreaking and knee weakening and drugging and Loki never wanted it to end. But they had to part for Loki to be shoved against the wall and fucked up into. They didn't even leave the room, Stephen told him that he needed to claim him in public so that everyone would know who he belonged to. At the moment Loki just whined and dug his nails into his biceps, yet somehow when Stephen kept grabbing and kissing him in public, it was even hotter because he meant it.

Especially when it was around the other knights. To try to make Stephen jealous in return for their own envy, having lost their pretty fleshlight as he and Stephen dated, they'd (in deep detail)described their past sexual experiences with the prince at any chance they could. But it never worked. It just made Stephen makeout with him more publicly, grab his ass more, and purposefully fuck him in places where they could be heard or seen by them. Loki was exhilarated to belong to someone who loved him to such an extreme extent.

So, every first Sunday of the month since their relationship had started almost a year prior, Loki wished Stephen luck before the jousting event began. Stephen swore he was his good luck charm. But that day he had overslept, so he was on a time crunch for meeting him. That was why he bounded down the steps, burst out the cast doors, and bolted across the plush lawn (thankfully only tripping once) until the stable was finally in reach. A chorus of whistles and shouts rained down on him as he shoved open the rickety wooden door with his shoulder and went inside.

"Calm down boys," Loki called back slyly as he moved further in, immediately making his way to the stall labeled 'Levi': Stephen's horse. "I'm owned."

As soon as he was close enough Stephen (who looked unfairly sexy in his armor) wrapped his non-sword wielding arm around his partner's waist and pushed him up against the wall, tucking the weapon into his sheath on his belt while he kissed Loki stupid. "Damn right you are," he whispered against his lips with a cocky smirk that made the prince giggle. "I'm glad you're here, I was worried you weren't going to make it. We're leaving in only a few minutes."

"Like I would ever miss this, darling. You'd lose horribly without me."

Stephen chuckled lightly and pressed forward to give him a more pushy and bruising kiss. "I won your affections though."

"First place. No contest. So I suppose you do have that going for you."

There was something just incredibly wonderful about declaring their love in front of so many men who had all plowed Loki like a field. Their heated stares made the couple's kisses only more passionate. But, eventually and unfortunately, the coliseum's bell sounded, signalling to the kingdom to start gathering for the event since it would start soon enough. So with one last adoring kiss, Stephen effortlessly swung over his horse's back and snapped his reins to break him out into a trot. Loki giggled again and gave him a small wave as he passed.

There he stayed in the stable, a stupidly giddy smile on his face as he watched Stephen vanish into the distance, only running back to the castle once all knights had left toward the coliseum and he knew he was most likely royally screwed.

And he was right; as soon as he burst back in through the doors his father was there-already dressed and ready-to scold him. "Loki! Where the hell have you been? The carriage is already ready, the bell has been sounded and- oh of course you're not even dressed, and your hair is a mess. Go upstairs and get fixed up- quickly. You have five minutes or we're leaving without you," Odin lectured, picking apart the flaws he already knew about one by one. But Loki was only really caring when he got to the threat. As previously stated, he didn't really care for the fights when he was younger, so the ultimatums then were more about not letting him bring his books to distract himself during the event. But as he grew gayer and Odin caught on that he actually liked it then (although he didn't know why), he started warning for the opposite.

Even though Loki was technically an adult, he still had to listen to his father as the king, so he jumped up the stairs three at a time until he finally reached his oversized bedroom on the top floor. His servant was already waiting for him.

"Oh, Loki, your hair!"

"Yes, yes, I know, I know, Darcy, could you just fix it really quick? I have five minutes."

She huffed loudly and was most likely not going to be gentle, but she motioned for him to stand on his dressing platform as she pulled over a stool nonetheless, other servants joining in to dress him quickly as she cleaned up his untamed locks. "I have no idea how you do this every time, I feel like I do this six times a day," Darcy grumbled as she climbed up on her stool, bobby pins held between her teeth and a brush already ready. The three other workers collected his clothing items for the event and started to help strip him down, then helping him fasten the new and exceedingly more fancy fabrics to his body until he was acceptable done up. Gold embroidered green jacket, stupidly tight but alluring black pants, matching boots, and a black cape colored in yellow underneath to match his mother. A minute or two after they had finished Darcy's work came to a close as well, ending up creating a small bun at the back of his head with two braids following from his hairline to the knot, and two loose pieces of hair framing his face in the front. "There we go," she murmured as she lowered his crown onto the top of his head and pinned it down. "Now if you screw this up, I will make all of your hairstyles from now on uncomfortably tight. You understand?"

Loki nodded as he patted the sides of his head, observing himself in the large mirror before them. He knew she wasn't kidding. "I'll do my best."

"You better." The two gave each other a faire la bise as a goodbye and he thanked her and the other servants before he slipped out of the room, hurrying down the steps once more with the same goal of seeing his boyfriend, but with the poise and grace that he was forced to keep in order to maintain the outfit and hair.

Odin still huffed when he reached him though, although this time Thor and Frigga were with him. "Finally. Now let's go, we shan't be late." Loki only smiled at his mother while rolling his eyes at his father as soon as his back was turned. Thor just avoided eye contact all together, them still not talking about when Loki walked in on him sleeping with the stable boy with fewer brains than Thor's childhood rock collection. But, despite the differences, they made their way down the steps and climbed into their designated carriage as a family.

Although Loki's mind wandered as soon as the horses' reins were snapped.

I wonder how Stephen's doing.

~~

Seated in the royalty box with his mother, father, and brother all seated to his right, Loki bounced his leg in impatience, waiting for the games to officially begin and for Stephen to come out. Right then they were just prepping the area and a few spare knights were fighting. None of them Stephen. When he was a bit younger, older than when he was disinterested but before their relationship, Loki was certainly more invested in all of the event over just some of it, imagining either what they'd done to him or what they'd do to him for each one, but just the pure rush and excitement he got from seeing Stephen do... anything certainly made up for everything and more. But for now that feeling was withheld from him, and he'd have to wait. Stephen did always like to make him wait. Called his impatience cute and covered his body in hickies until he declared that he was whining enough.

Loki breathed deeply through his nose and pressed his thighs together and attempted to change the mental subject, being in front of his family for that matter, although his exhibionism wasn't really helping him to calm down.

Thankfully though he did manage to relax enough to pull a small book of Shakespeare out of his pocket and distract himself with the ridiculousness of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to wait until he was able to have Stephen all to himself in at least four hours. Jousting, sparring, chariot racing, etc etc, as well as the following cleaning up and Loki being able to escape from the royal grasp would unlikely take any less time.

Stephen had actually told him two nights prior as they lay in his bed, legs and fingers intertwined, that he had something special planned for them after that specific Sunday event. Loki questioned what it was, but the knight had just grinned and told him that it was a surprise. No matter how much Loki pouted he still wouldn't tell him. Cruel is what he had called him while also allowing Stephen to cover him in kisses.

But Loki did enjoy the element of surprise. Although sex was a pretty wonderful part of their relationship, the romantic element was something that he did thoroughly enjoy too, both getting something secret prepared for him and getting to prepare something secret for his partner filling him with a true boyish excitement that he hadn't experienced in years- if ever. His leg began to bounce in a more positive way. He was already thinking up what to do in return. Loki wanted him and Stephen to just keep giving each other romantic surprises for the rest of their lives.

A trumpet suddenly blasted from above and Loki was shaken out of his thoughts, forcing him to look up and observe the beginning of the event instead of thinking about the life he wished for him and the knight to have together, but the negativity of the interruption immediately washed away as he saw Stephen walk out into the arena to the roar of the cheering crowd, helmet tucked underneath his arm with his gorgeous smiling face presented to the world. Loki grinned from ear to ear and immediately leaned forward to get closer.

Despite their distance Stephen noticed him as he turned to wave at more of the crowd, casting a small wink up into the stands, making a few country people screech and squeal, but Loki knew it was just for him. Stephen told him it had always been him, ever since he first saw him, he being 19 as a beginning knight and Loki being two years younger at the time. Loki had felt bad at first for not remembering that, but Stephen had comforted him by saying he had his helmet on, so he wouldn't have been able to recognize him by face anyway. Then he kissed him until the prince was left breathless and grinning.

[thesleepysourwolf]

Hot mess I am loving it hell yes

It was a hard week filled with bizarre calls for the 118 and everyone was tired.  

Everyone was excited about going out on their weekend off except Buck who lost a bet to his sister. Maddy was a sly fox she knew she was going to win from the beginning so she made big bets. If Buck were to win he was allowed to go with her to a hairdresser and tell them what a haircut to give her but if he lost Maddy was making him dress in drag for their next going out. At first, even though the loss was bitter he was still calm, grinning at his sis. He had done it before nothing who knows what. Right? Wrong. It was till the realization hit Buck. He had to be dressed in drag in front of his best friend who mind you he was in love with. And to top it all it was Hen’s birthday. This was going to be the biggest embarrassment he was going to ever expiries and it was hours away.  

-  

Maddy got ready and went straight to Buck’s apartment to help him get reddy telling Chimney to come pick her up after they are done. She brought him a short puffy skirt, a really pretty crop top, knee-high socks, and hills.  

“Maddy you are going to kill me.” he said putting his hands on his flushed face.  

“You lost the bet not me bro.” she said with a wide grin.  

He sighed and started changing. He had gotten the socks, skirt, and hills on, and honestly, Maddy was kind of jealous at how good he was able to pull them off. Buck was now grinning at the face his sister was making.  

“Ugh, this is not fair how are you not only good at walking in them but also look hot.”  

“What can I say I was born with many talents Madds.”  

“What are these?” she had now pulled her gaze at her brother's chest pointing at the chain that he was wairing.  

Buck followed her gaze and blushed a bit. “Ah, these are Eddie’s dog tags. He gave them to me to keep them safe.”  

Maddy was grinning again. Then her phone buzzed from inside her bag. “Whatever you say, bro. Sorry, I have to go, Chim is here to pick me up but you are reddy anyways.”  

Buck went to the mirror in his bathroom to fix his hair his gaze moving down. Seeing himself like that, in these clothes with Eddie’s dog tags poking trough the crop top did things to him. He whined. The only thing missing was Eddie grabbing him possessively from behind. This night was going to be hell.  

-  

Everybody got a message from Hen saying to put their best outfits and get ready to party. Eddie just shrugged and decides to do as told. He took a shower and then looked at the mirror. His hair had grown out. Just as he was about to slick it back Eddie remembered Buck telling him how good he looks with naturally curly hair and his hand froze. “Maybe I will leave it be for ones.”  

-  

Cut to a couple of hours later Hen, Karen, Bobby and Athena were already in the gay bar that Hen chose waiting for everyone else. They were then followed by Maddy and Chim. Not long after them came Eddie who looked like he was out of a modeling magazine. He was wearing black slim jeans and a white shirt that was just tight enough to show off his muscles the first two buttons undone with a leather jacket on top.  

“Where is Buck? Wasn’t he with you guys?” he asked confused pointing at Maddy and Chim.  

Chimney who was still in disbelief at Eddie’s appearance couldn’t seem to give an answer to his question.  

“He needed more time to get ready so we left him to it.” Maddy said with a grin and a wink.  

Then the doors opened letting the tall figure in. Buck was already pretty tall so the hills made it impossible for people not to see him.  

“Is- is that Buck?!” Hen stuttered in confusion.  

“Yup.” Maddy said with satisfaction in her voice.  

Everyone was now looking at Buck whit pure shock as if in a trans. Eddie’s eyes were dark with something that seemed like a desire that was ripping Buck who was staring back at him apart.  

Chimney and Hen who had shaken the shock away were now losing their shit.  

“Buck man what the actual fuck?!” Chimney was struggling trough his laughs.  

“Not bad Evelyn.” Hen barely managed to get the joke trough her laughing without choking. Karen tried to keep it cool but ended up joining them.  

Bobby was trying not to laugh but ended up cracking and shaking his head while Athena had her head in her arms and questioned life. But Buck frankly didn’t give a fuck. Eddie's looks were giving him confidence and making him cocky. Embarrassment all gone.  

“Yeah, yeah laugh at me as much as you like but I am hotter than all of you together.”  

“Hah, you wish! Have you looked at Eddie by any chance?” Chim was finally calming down a bit.  

“What happened to you?!” Hen asked with general curiosity.  

“Lost a bet to Maddy is what happened to me.” Buck grinned.  

“Oh, lord...” Karen said.  

“Maddy?” Chimney looked at his girlfriend with general shock.  

“What? Tell me you are not getting a kick out of this.” she defended.  

“Oh, we are...” Chim said in a heartbeat.  

Hen then shifted her gaze at Eddie.  

“Hey, Eddie you ok man?”  

He was still staring at Buck.  

“Ah yeah just got lost in my head.”  

-  

Some time passed and they were now on round four. Hen and Karen were dancing on the dancefloor and Buck soon followed. Eddie sat for a while before he stood up and went to sit at the bar for more beer. Though he doesn’t mind another beer the real reason was the view of Buck dancing his muscles showing in between his crop top and skirt. Eddie’s pupils were dilated, eyes filled with lust and desire. He then spotted something. It was poking from *underneath the crop top shining in the lights of the bar. It was Eddie’s dog tags and he almost lost it. He made a low growl that only he could hear trough the loud music. Buck had no idea what kind of things he was doing to him right now. A few minutes had passed and his bottle was now almost empty and he moved his gaze back at his best friend who was now talking with a guy that keeps shamelessly with him. And that was the moment Eddie lost it. He growled again louder this time. There was no way of going back now.  

“Hey, Evan.~” he said in a tone that felt like silk to Buck making him try to trap a moan with no success.  

Both men turn their heads in Eddie's direction.  

“Yes, Eddie?” his best friend didn’t need to look his way to know it was him. He could distinguish it from miles.  

“Can you come here for a sec?” Eddie said with a grin on his face.  

The guy was looking mad like a kid who got his lollipop taken away but he was about to find it was never his in the first place. How sad.  

Without giving Eddie an actual answer Buck started to move towards him leaving the other guy behind. Swaying as if trying to seduce him. When he got close enough he got pulled by his hand making him stumble forward. Eddie put his hands on Buck’s hips pulling him in so close that he was practically almost sitting on his lap. He tugged at Buck’s hair making him push himself closer into it and shutter letting out a quiet moan.  

“Eddie. ~”  

“Yes, Evan? ~” Eddie whispered.  

“If you continue like this I won’t be able to last long. My heart might not be able to take it.” Buck whined his words making Eddie lose his shit even more.  

“Do you know how much I love you? I love you, Evan. Every piece of you. ~”  

“I love you too so much it could break me.” Buck said pulling Eddie into a long passionate heated kiss.  

When they finally pulled away they were both out of breath.  

"You have no idea how long I have waited for this." he continued.

The guy was still looking at them. Eddie took the opportunity and looked him straight in the eyes as he starts to leave marks on Buck’s neck pulling the dog tags dangling from it making them visible. Never breaking eye contact. He gave him a glare that he will remember for the rest of his life. Eyes that could kill.  

“Mine. ~” Eddie mouthed although it seems like it must have come out as a low whisper because he could fell Buck shutter.  

The guy was no longer angry and more so intimidated. Turning around and disappearing into the crowd.  

_  

One sloppy makeout session later and the boys decide to head back to their table. Eddie all happy with a grin on his face and Buck in a need to go to the bathroom unless he wanted sticky underwear. Spoiler alert. Both of them got out of there very pleased with themselves. It seemed like Athena and Bobby had already gone home to have some quality time alone. So it was just Hen, Karla, Chim, and Maddy.  

"Guys we have to tell you something." Eddie said in a very serious tone, well as serious as a tipsy guy could.

"We know. We saw." Hen was grinning, pointing at where they were sat at the bar.

"And now I am scarred for life. Thanks for that by the way." Chim continued.

All they got from Maddy was a grin and "I knew it!".

Buck and Eddie now appreciated the fact that Athena and Bobby weren't there and didn't have to deal with the embarrassment that would have come with it.  

This is a 1.0 version of the fic that I hope to better someday!

By thesleepysourwolf

[audikatia]

3.05 The First Time

Rating: 5/5.

Best Song: One Hand, One Heart. I actually don’t think the song itself is the strongest, but I really, really, really love how it’s paired with the love scenes.

Memorable Quote: “You take my breath away. Not just now; tonight on that stage. I was so proud to be with you.” -Kurt

General Notes:

Just a heads up, there’s gonna be a lot of notes. Sorry not sorry.

Literally any time Kurt or Finn refer to each other as their brother gives me life.

Rachel’s actually being aware of Finn’s dreams that are not in some way directly related to hers? Wow.

So, I love that Kurt is the one who brings up sex with Blaine instead of the other way around. Blaine doesn’t mention what Artie said, doesn’t approach the subject, just lets Kurt take the reins on the whole topic. It feels much more organic than taking this next step in their relationship just because of the musical.

Darren Criss saying “masterbation” ruins me. So is his little hum when he kisses Kurt.

Why the fuck would Artie want to talk to his teachers about their sex lives? And why are they talking to him about it???

lol Grant Gustin is so fucking adorable and I cannot see him as a villain like at all. Also, can we please have a musical episode of The Flash? Or maybe there was one… I stopped watching like two seasons ago.

Blaine’s heart eyes at Kurt paired with Kurt’s brush on his hand. Ugh.

Omg, I love Artie’s suspenders! Little kings from playing cards. Cute.

Finn’s really like, “you’re just using me for my body?”

Oh, I forgot they actually bring back Mike’s storyline about his strained relationship with his father. I figured it was just a one-and-done plotline.

I remember being so happy for Beiste. She deserved better. Why can’t my favs just be happy?

Are there really enough gay people in Lima for there to be a thriving gay bar? This would have been more plausible if they had set in a few towns over or if it was more secretive or something. The gay storylines are like the only storylines they treat carefully so I’m just surprised by this.

Sebastian would never actually wear a fucking stripped polo to this gay bar. Seriously? He would not go for the middle school prep boy look. Is it possible for a character to already be OC in like his third fucking scene? But, his outfit is forgiven since he has the perfect bitch move of giving Kurt a Shirley Temple. Yes, this is the bitchiness I crave.

Does Kurt just never drink? Did April Rhodes really fuck him up that badly? Why am I advocating for a fictional underage character to drink?

Karofsky is thriving and I’m happy for him. But also, he deserves something more meaningful than a bunch of older men being into him because he’s a bear cub. You deserve to be cared for and treated right, Karofsky.

Blaine is a horny, happy, and sloppy drunk and I fucking love it.

Kurt is so fucking cute breaking up Sebastian and Blaine’s dance by always getting between them, and Blaine is fucking oblivious to everything except Kurt. I love it.

I just learned that we were robbed of a longer makeout scene in the back of Kurt’s car and I am livid

Do not walk home from a gay bar in a homophobic state while you’re underage and drunk. Blaine, honey. I’m concerned.

Blaine has a picture of Kurt on his dressing table and that’s so fucking cute. I wish we had gotten a close up of it like we did of Blaine’s picture in Kurt’s locker.

Oh, Artie’s concern over the show and then everyone giving him flowers is so fucking cute. Is Artie the most universally liked member of Glee Club? Well, him and Mike.

Santana and Puck playing against each other is fantastic and I love it.

I cannot even begin to state all the ways that it’s not okay for Mike’s dad to not come to the musical. Unforgivable. Mike, I’m your dad now. I’ll support your dreams of being a dancer.

Finn knocks it out of the fucking park with his explosion about how he thinks his life is over and how he isn’t good enough to succeed in life. I hate that he has self-doubts, but I love how he admits them and plays through them and how he opens up to his loved ones about them.

Ugh, Kurt and Blaine had an honest to god conversation apologizing for their behavior and how they love and support each other and how they want sex to be something special between them. And Rachel and Finn have an actual conversation about support and love and having sex for the right reasons. I know it’s a musical show, but I like it when the characters actually talk instead of sing for big moments. And I also like that even though they were similar conversations, the two conversations had different approaches as well as different tones and set ups that were unique to both couples. It could have been just basically the same conversation twice with names changed, but instead both couples got what they deserved.

I love everything about the last few moments of this episode. I love Kurt and Blaine’s little nose touch, I love the clasped hands, I love Kurt brushing his thumb over Blaine’s chest, I love Finn having flowers in his lap ready to give to Rachel at the end of the show, I love Kurt’s smile when Blaine is on stage, I love Blaine’s smile at Kurt when they’re in bed, I love Darren’s long eyelashes.