#and then mad rat is here with “god is real and she wants me dead”

[mantisgodsdomain]

Considering their IRL counterparts, we think there's a very good chance that since Heart was Rad God's previous host, while she got transmitted to Mad Rat via bits of her in the heart tissue. There's not a whole lot else going on in that operation besides the heart transplant, after all, and we doubt that the doctor had any extra contamination around to potentially transmit her. We know that she says she lives in rats, specifically, but there's One Specific Protozoan she's based off of, and cats are the definitive host o f Toxoplasmosis Gondii.

Given the givens, it's entirely possible she simply doesn't present the same symptoms cross-species, and a symbiotic host that offers more benefits to her just... won't experience the same trip, especially since trying to feed your cat host to a cat doesn't really offer any benefit to either of you. With Heart, he's probably either asymptomatic or just only experiencing symptoms that don't particularly affect his day-to-day life, possibly in a way where he wouldn't have even known he was playing host to a parasite if it wasn't for the situation with Mad Rat.

Would it be weird for him to be... aware of that, postgame? To know that he's carrying a parasite with the potential to majorly fuck up any rats that might contract it? Is there a proper way to react to the knowledge that you're carrying a hallucinogenic parasite in you that'll cause major issues for any rat you might infect? Would he even, like... figure out the whole "asymptomic/mostly asymptomic carrier" thing before later? These are the questions we really need to ask.

[clar-a-m]

Here's a bunch of sketches for an imodna zookeeper au i've had in mind for a while

WARNING please don't get mad at me about made up bug facts, those spiders have legs coming out of their butts for god's sake

If you're curious about more details about this au i'm putting them under the cut!

Most of the gang works at Mr. Eshteross’ zoo. Modern AU but does not take place on Earth, it’s Exandria but not really.

Magic is very limited and very rare. Most people don’t ever have any interaction with magic their entire lives and there’s not much knowledge about it in general, so there’s a lot of superstition about it.

All the different races exist as normal.

The real magic about this place is that there’s reliable and affordable public transport, and it’s a very walkable place, lots of people go around on bicycles and stuff. Using this AU to fulfill my dreams. (Imogen bikes to work!!)

The zoo is about to open a new exhibition about bugs, arachnids & maybe other creepy stuff. Laudna is hired to be in charge of this new branch of the zoo, and Imogen is assigned to help her put it all together and introduce her to the rest of the zoo. Their relationship develops and they KISS at some point (!!!)

They were both outcasts and very lonely because of their powers, and through each other begin to be more open and appreciate life a bit more.

Lots of fluff and good vibes!! Cute scenes with cute animals!! Not a whole lot of angst!! Maybe a bit sexy!! Why not!!

Imogen: has been working at the zoo for 2 years. Loves working with the animals and appreciates the fact that she doesn’t have to deal with too many people at a time.

Grew up working in her father’s farm, raising horses and other farm animals. Fell in love with it and decided to pursue it as a career.

Is an Animal Trainer, in charge of mostly mammals at the zoo. Keeps the enclosures clean, feeds the animals and trains them so it’s easier to do health checkups and such when needed. Also in charge of monitoring their health (brushing their teeth, weigh-ins, etc.)

Still has her powers, but more limited:

Lightning scars

Telekinesis

Telepathy (still has to block out people’s thoughts)

Dancing lights

Shocking grasp (can get as powerful as a stun gun)

*Still has bad dreams but nothing too special about it.

Is in charge of helping Laudna, the newcomer, develop the new bugs & other creepy things exhibition.  

Despite having been working at the zoo for a long time, is not very close with the rest of Bells Hells. They’re nice and she likes them but she’s a bit too hesitant to get close to people because of her powers (her backstory is about the same as canon). She begins to feel more comfortable getting closer to them after spending time with Laudna.

Only exception is Fearne. She’s very curious about Imogen and very insistent, so they end up being besties.

Laudna’s thoughts are like music and all that. Imogen finally meets someone who’s like her, and who’s even had a harder time than her but still is so full of joy. Imogen can’t help but want to know more about her, she wants to cherish the spark the she sees in Laudna.  

Sees Eshteross as a bit of a father figure. (maybe he helped her settle in after moving to Jrusar??)

Laudna: got hired at the zoo as the creepy things specialist, also just moved into the city.

Is used to moving around a lot, spent a lot of time living in the woods. Loved to pay close attention to what the little creatures where doing.

Formally graduated recently but has been taking notes in the field for a very long time (at least a decade?)

Still is undead and has some magic:

Looks half dead, has elongated limbs and fingers, black ichor, etc.

Fragile body but can easily pop back into place

Dark vision

Unsettling presence

Can siphon the energy of living things (could make a person pass out, or just make things colder)

Pâté is her actual pet rat, he has a condition that makes him look half dead too.

Very reluctant to make friends (has only really had imaginary ones until now). Expects everyone to just be scared of her and drive her away like they always do, but Imogen is a kindred spirit and helps her feel comfortable enough to open up.

As time moves on, gets close to Ashton and Fearne before getting close to the rest of BH?

Fearne: she and Mister are from the Feywild but no one really believes that, the Feywild is just folklore to most people. BH are not sure if they believe her or not because she is like that but she also likes to just make shit up on occasion.

Has an Only Fans

The zoo offered to take Mister in because no place would allow Fearne to raise a flaming monkey that could commit arson at any time, in exchange, Fearne can come to the zoo whenever she likes with no charge, and is allowed to bring a couple of people with her if she wants.

Comes to the zoo every day to spend time with Mister and loves hanging out with BH

Since she helps take care of Mister, she is allowed in some of the staff only spaces

There are rumors that she sometimes shapeshifts into an animal and sneaks into their enclosures, but that can’t be true right? One of the animal handlers is sure they saw an extra quokka one time but they were all cuddling together while sleeping so they must have been mistaken right?

Likes to chat with Imogen whenever she can find her. If Fearne sees Imogen working inside of one of the enclosures, she stares at her intently from the other side of it until Imogen makes a mental connection with her. They can talk mentally while Imogen works.

Imogen thinks it’s a bit awkward at first, but appreciates the company during boring tasks like cleaning empty enclosures. From the perspective of other visitors, it’s just this beautiful & weird lady watching one of the employees working alone in an empty enclosure for a long time.

Fearne tells Laudna about this at some point and Laudna occasionally watches Imogen work from a distance hoping she makes a mental connection with her as well (Laudna gets startled the first time Imogen talks into her mind like this because she wasn’t expecting she was really gonna do it. Imogen thinks she is very cute)

Gets invested in Imogen’s and Laudna’s relationship. Wingmans but tries not to push them too hard.

Sees the similarities between the two of them and hopes they can make each other less lonely.

Eshteross: owner of the zoo. Worked for the in-universe equivalent of the IBAMA (the Brazilian institute, look it up I guess) for years, fighting against illegal deforestation and animal trafficking. Opened the zoo with the inherited money of Mistress Prudaj, with the goal of educating people about wildlife, helping rescued animals and reintroducing them into the wild when possible.

Evelyn is his right-hand person and second in command at the zoo.  Worked with him during his last few years at the Nature Protection Institute Place. After he retired, Eshteross invited her to come make the zoo a reality.

Is very particular about the people he hires to work at the zoo. He has seen a lot of cruelty during his time at the Nature Protection Institute Place, so he only hires people he really trusts, people who he knows love the animals very deeply. 

Chetney: the zoo’s handy man. Is in charge of fixing, building and breaking things down. Makes lots of wooden things for the animals.

FCG: zoo’s veterinarian & rehab specialist.

Ashton & Orym: part of the zoo’s security team

anyway that's it. i'm not gonna write a fic about this or anything, i'm not a writer, but it was super fun to come up with all of these! If you like any of this feel free to do whatever with it i guess?

thanks for reading!

[best-queen-song]

Okay Queenies! All 88 91 polls are up now! They're each open for one week, so by this time next Sunday (3/3) Monday (3/4), they will all be closed. Here's the list of all Round One polls. Now's the time to spread the word, scatter them to the tumblr winds. Feel free to argue your choices' cases in the meantime!

Great King Rat / It’s A Beautiful Day (Reprise)

Crash Dive On Mingo City / Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon

Who Wants To Live Forever / Let Me Live

Stone Cold Crazy / Fight From The Inside

Escape From The Swamp / In The Lap Of The Gods

My Life Has Been Saved / I Want To Break Free

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy / Hang On In There

We Are The Champions / Friends Will Be Friends

I Was Born To Love You / Cool Cat

Princes Of The Universe / The Night Comes Down

The Ring (Hypnotic Seduction of Dale) / Don’t Try Suicide

Arboria (Planet Of The Tree Men) / Brighton Rock

Keep Passing The Open Windows / The Invisible Man

Under Pressure / Calling All Girls

Crazy Little Thing Called Love / The March Of The Black Queen

Dreamer’s Ball / Tenement Funster

You’re My Best Friend / Flash To The Rescue

Don’t Lose Your Head / Seven Seas Of Rhye

I’m Going Slightly Mad / Get Down, Make Love

In The Lap Of The Gods… Revisited / Spread Your Wings

Funny How Love Is / Fun It

Misfire / All God’s People

Action This Day / These Are The Days Of Our Lives

Sheer Heart Attack / God Save The Queen

The Hero / Body Language

Ride The Wild Wind / In The Space Capsule (The Love Theme)

Made In Heaven / The Loser In The End

‘39 / Modern Times Rock ‘N Roll

Sweet Lady / One Year Of Love

I Can’t Live With You / Leaving Home Ain’t Easy

Need Your Loving Tonight / Delilah

Pain Is So Close To Pleasure / Las Palabras De Amor (The Words Of Love)

Jesus / Chinese Torture

Football Fight / Save Me

In The Death Cell (Love Theme Reprise) / The Kiss (Aura Resurrects Flash)

One Vision / The Miracle

Father To Son / Don’t Try So Hard

Fat Bottomed Girls / Liar

Who Needs You / Marriage Of Dale And Ming (And Flash Approaching)

Khashoggi’s Ship / You Don’t Fool Me

Bicycle Race / Battle Theme

Vultan’s Theme (Attack Of The Hawk Men) / Dear Friends

Tie Your Mother Down / It’s A Hard Life

I Want It All / Flash’s Theme Reprise

White Man / Dancer

Radio Ga Ga / Bijou

Gimme The Prize / Bohemian Rhapsody

Death On Two Legs (Dedicated To…) / Dead On Time

Scandal / I’m In Love With My Car

Back Chat / Tear It Up

Some Day One Day / More Of That Jazz

The Millionaire Waltz / Breakthru

You Take My Breath Away / My Melancholy Blues

All Dead, All Dead / Man On The Prowl

Untitled / Now I’m Here

Jealousy / Flash’s Theme

Somebody To Love / You And I

Sleeping On The Sidewalk / It’s A Beautiful Day

The Hitman / Execution Of Flash

We Will Rock You / In Only Seven Days

Another One Bites The Dust / Staying Power

Too Much Love Will Kill You / My Fairy King

Is This The World We Created…? / Don’t Stop Me Now

Seaside Rendezvous / Machines (or ‘Back To Humans’)

Sail Away Sweet Sister / Keep yourself alive

No One But You (Only The Good Die Young) / Teo Toriatte (Let Us Cling Together)

Love Of My Life / A Kind Of Magic

Party / Headlong

Rain Must Fall / Mustapha

Ogre Battle / I Go Crazy

Mother Love / Doing Alright

Put Out The Fire / The Fairy Feller’s Master-Stroke

Nevermore / Lily Of The Valley

Procession / White Queen (As It Began)

Hammer To Fall / Seven Seas Of Rhye [unfinished]

Bring Back That Leroy Brown / The Wedding March

Was It All Worth It / Killer Queen

It’s Late / If You Can’t Beat Them

Flick Of The Wrist / Play The Game

Rock It (Prime Jive) / Innuendo

Thank God It’s Christmas / The Prophet’s Song

Long Away / My Baby Does Me

Coming Soon / Son And Daughter

A Winter’s Tale / Heaven For Everyone

The Show Must Go On / Ming’s Theme (In The Court Of Ming The Merciless)

Life Is Real (Song For Lennon) / Drowse

Dragon Attack / Let Me Entertain You

Good Company / She Makes Me (Stormtrooper In Stilettos)

Mad The Swine / Soul Brother

Hijack My Heart / A Human Body

Lost Opportunity / Stealin'

[prpfs]

This is a long one but I have so many ideas in my rat brain for a fem oc I have and I've been wanting to play around with her!!! So here are some of my ratty ideas raaaaghh 💕🐀

1. A horny incubus was accidentally summoned by a hot witch who isn't nearly as horny as the incubus expected!

2. Werewolf being hunted becomes obsessed with the hunter and kidnaps the hunter

3. God of misery(or anything really!) comes across a broken witch who has already lost everything and stood at death's door in front of the god's cabin.

4. Golden Retriever jock stands up for nerdy gal whos just trying to finish school with no incident.

5. Nurse with a mad scientist boss who keeps getting hurt while experimenting

6. Nurse with mad scientist boss falls in love with his creation (Frankensteins' monster!!)

7. Science experiment falls in love with mad scientists

8. Naga(or other mythical creature) showing the researcher their culture and inevitably falls in love with the researcher

9. A knight walking in on the princess(or royal witch) masturbating. They turn to leave, but once being noticed, she pleads for them to help. To help the her get off. To fuck her.

10. Himbo knight(or really well put together knight) and royal witch have a friendship and the witch is very flirty with the knight she gets drunk and we can continue from there

I like some heavy dead dove stuff that includes but is not limited to!

CNC, complete noncon, dubcon(not established in the relationship) so continue to my list with caution!

Some kinks of mine: cnc, somonophillia, forced kissing, sloppy sex, breeding, forced breeding, choking, knife play, light bondage, overstimulation, brat taming, size differences, marking, claiming(general possessiveness!!)

Limits: heavy gore(sexually), vore, scat, vomit

Besides that, I have no real heavy limits, so 🍪 and any other taboo subjects are something I'm willing to discuss. Ooo, and also, I prefer to rp on Discord, so ill send you my account, orrr we can rp on here, but the notifications don't always work for me:/

leave a like if you're interested and anon will get back to you!

[agentrouka-blog]

Do you think whenever something is mentioned next to the phrase "if gods are good" then the likelihood of that event happening is miniscule and the opposite of that happens?

Hi anon, 

you can't do this to me! I get curious and stupid.

I went and checked out every mention of that phrase (excluding “Gods be good” or the affirmative “the gods were good” - coming to a total of 42 uses) and it is exactly as you say. 

It’s almost a guarantee for the opposite.

Curiously, the pattern only holds up through ASOS and begins to corrode in AFFC. In ADWD and the TWOW sample chapters, the chances of things happening in spite of the phrase increase quite a bit. 

Let’s look at all the examples. :)

~~~

"If the gods are good, I shall not be here on your return. You commanded me to return to Winterfell, remember?" (AGOT, Eddard X)

-> -> Ned stays and dies.

"If the gods are good, they will grant us a warm autumn and bountiful harvests, so we might prepare for the winter to come." (ACOK, Prologue)

-> -> They don’t.

"Shae is not the first to grace my bed, and one day I may take a wife and sire a son. If the gods are good, he'll look like his uncle and think like his father." (ACOK, Tyrion II)

-> -> UNDECIDED, but strong tendency toward NO.

"Good. Craster's Keep is just ahead. If the gods are good, he'll let us sleep by his fire." (ACOK, Jon III)

-> -> Jon doesn’t.

And if the gods are good, Bywater will find Arya alive, before Robb learns she's gone missing. (ACOK, Tyrion VI)

-> -> He doesn’t.

If you never tell, never speak of it, will it become only a dream, less than a dream, a nightmare half-remembered? Oh, if only the gods would be so good. (ACOK, Catelyn VII)

-> -> SEMI-SUBVERTED. Bran and Rickon are NOT dead. But it’s not because Catelyn kept silent, and she never finds out.

“It's Cersei and Tyrion who concern me. As well as my lord father."

"They live, all three." But not long, if the gods are good. (ACOK, Catelyn VII)

-> -> All three outlive Catelyn.

"I want him burned. If the gods are good, they'll burn him, but I won't be here to see. I'm going." (ACOK, Sansa VII)

-> -> Tyrion is slashed with a sword, not burned. MAYBE LATER?

"If the gods are good," Osha said in a low angry voice, "the Others will take them that did this work." (ACOK, Bran VII)

-> -> UNDECIDED but it doubt we’ll see Ramsay return as a wight if his dogs eat him?

If the gods are good, a patrol will chance by and put an end to this. (ASOS, Jon IV)

-> -> No patrol appears, the wildlings climb the Wall.

If the gods are good, they will send her a daughter, Sam prayed. (ASOS, Samwell II)

-> -> Gilly’s child is a boy.

He wondered if Petyr Baelish had reached the Vale yet. If the gods are good, he ran into a storm at sea and sank. (ASOS, Tyrion VI)

-> He lives.

If the gods were good, the Mad Mouse would make the same mistake.  (AFFC, Brienne II)

-> Her stalker ends up being Podrick, who doesn’t underestimate her at all.

"Our lord father was murdered in that tower. I cannot bear to look at it. If the gods are good, the fire may smoke a few rats from the rubble."

Jaime rolled his eyes. "Tyrion, you mean." (AFFC, Cersei III)

-> No Tyrion appears.

If the gods are good, we will pass Maidenpool before he knows that I am there. ( AFFC, Brienne III)

-> She cannot avoid Randyll Tarly.

"If the gods are good, we may catch a glimpse of a unicorn." (AFFC, Samwell II)

-> -> No unicorns for Dareon.

"Let them rot there," declared Ser Kennos cheerfully. "If the gods are good, they'll be swallowed up in quicksand or gobbled down by lizard-lions." (AFFC, Jaime IV)

-> -> They are not.

"If the gods are good, you will have sons of your blood to follow you. Why would you throw all that away for . . . for some vow?" (AFFC, Jaime IV)

-> -> UNDECIDED but strong tendency that Lancel will never have children.

If the gods were good, he would give Ser Loras the glorious end he seemed to want. (...) Ser Loras lusts for glory as real men lust for women, the least the gods can do is grant him a death worthy of a song. (AFFC, Cersei VII)

-> -> He is horribly injured and disfigured but lives.

If the gods were good, each of them would kill the other, like Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk. (AFFC, Cersei VII)

-> -> UNDECIDED but strong tendency that Bronn and Loras will not kill each other.

As for his lady mother, if the gods are good this news will kill her. (AFFC, Cersei VIII)

-> -> Loras remains alive and so does Olenna.

"The smallfolk call it the crossroads inn. Elder Brother told me that two of Masha Heddle's nieces have opened it to trade once again." He raised his staff. "If the gods are good, that smoke rising beyond the hanged men will be from its chimneys." (AFFC, Brienne VII) 

-> -> SUBVERTED. It is the Crossroads Inn.

If the gods are good, he'll slip and fall. (AFFC; Brienne VII)

-> -> Rorge doesn’t. Biter will push her into the mud, though.

If the gods were good, Wat might die beneath the lash, leaving Margaery with no way to disprove his testimony. (AFFC, Cersei X)

-> -> Wat the blue bard remains alive.

The most beautiful woman in the world, thought Quentyn. My bride-to-be, if the gods are good. (ADWD, The Merchant’s Man)

-> -> Nope.

It will be warmer when the sun comes up. If the gods are good, the Wall may weep. (ADWD, Jon II)

-> -> No mention is made of the Wall weeping that day.

If the gods were good, Lannister's severed head was halfway back to King's Landing by now, but more like the dwarf was hale and whole and somewhere close, stinking drunk and plotting some new infamy. (ADWD, The Lost Lord)

-> -> Tyrion’s head remains attached.

"If the gods are good, we won't encounter any wildlings. I'll want the grey gelding." (ADWD, Jon VII)

-> -> They do.

He will give me back to Ramsay then, he thought, and Ramsay will take a few more fingers and turn me into Reek once more. Unless the gods were good, and Stannis Baratheon descended on Winterfell and put all of them to the sword, himself included. That was the best he could hope for. (ADWD, The Prince of Winterfell)

-> -> He doesn’t. Making it unlikely that Stannis will kill Theon at all.

"Val will return." Before Stannis, if the gods are good. (ADWD, Jon VIII)

-> -> SUBVERTED. Val does return, and before Stannis too.

If the gods are good, by now she has found Tormund Giantsbane. (ADWD, Jon IX)

-> -> SUBVERTED. Val has found Tormund by then, indeed.

Red Jeyne and Jez and Helicent would tear him to pieces if the gods were good. Or worse, he might be taken back alive. (ADWD, A Ghost in Winterfell)

-> -> It happens very differently.

If the gods were good, he might stumble on the Blackfish, or lure Beric Dondarrion into an unwise attack.  (ADWD, Jaime I)

-> -> None of this happens on the way to Raventree.

Brienne, where are you? Have you found her? "… if the gods are good, she'll forget she was a Stark. She'll wed some burly blacksmith or fat-faced innkeep, fill his house with children, and never need to fear that some knight might come along to smash their heads against a wall."

"The gods are good," his hostage said, uncertainly. (ADWD, Jaime I)

-> -> Neither Stark sister forgets who she is, and neither is likely to do the above.

With Rowan's help, Theon got Jeyne Poole into Squirrel's clothes. If the gods are good and the guards are blind, she may pass. (ADWD, Theon I)

-> -> SUBVERTED. Jeyne is not recognized.

She is not my queen, he might have said. If truth be told, the day of her departure cannot come too fast for me. And if the gods are good, she will take Melisandre with her. (ADWD, Jon XI)

-> -> UNDECIDED.

If the gods were good, the wrinkled old cunt might crash into Septa Unella and take her down with her. (ADWD, Cersei I)

-> -> No septas go tumbling down stairs.

Tormund turned back. "You know nothing. You killed a dead man, aye, I heard. Mance killed a hundred. A man can fight the dead, but when their masters come, when the white mists rise up … how do you fight a mist, crow? Shadows with teeth … air so cold it hurts to breathe, like a knife inside your chest … you do not know, you cannot know … can your sword cut cold?"

We will see, Jon thought, remembering the things that Sam had told him, the things he'd found in his old books. Longclaw had been forged in the fires of old Valyria, forged in dragonflame and set with spells. Dragonsteel, Sam called it. Stronger than any common steel, lighter, harder, sharper … But words in a book were one thing. The true test came in battle. 

"You are not wrong," Jon said. "I do not know. And if the gods are good, I never will." (ADWD, Jon XII)

-> -> UNDECIDED. But the bit about dragonsteel is kind of begging to be subverted big time.

And if the gods are good, you will not dream of dragons. (ADWD, The Queen’s Hand)

-> -> UNDECIDED. We have no clue what Missandei dreams of. 

If the gods were good, by now Obara Sand had treed him in his mountain fastness and put an end to him. (TWOW, Arianne I)

-> -> UNDECIDED. But unlikely to be that easy.

"Your lordship should not believe such nonsense," Alayne said. "I'm sure Ser Harrold loves you well." And if the gods are good, he will love me too.  (TWOW, Alayne I)

-> -> UNDECIDED. But extremely unlikely, given his terrible first impression and his red shirt status.

He does have pretty hair. If the gods are good and he lives long enough to wed, his wife will admire his hair, surely. That much she will love about him. (TWOW, Alayne I)

-> -> UNDECIDED. But begging to be subverted, since everyone is counting on him to die. Maybe he’ll just go bald really early.

[niannianyabao]

In which I liveblog Beyond Re-Animator so you don’t have to.

Spoilers: this movie is an absolute hoot. You can see the exact moment when I begin realizing I’m actually having a good time

Oh it starts with a fakeout jump scare, that’s fun. And the murder of a babysitter. Cool, cool. 

I mean, I guess, that’s on canon with Herbert not keeping track of his zombies, but even Bride tried to start with some class. 

Please tell me this small, sad child is going to grow up to try to murder Herbs. I feel like that’s where this is going. 

HERBERT WHY ARE YOU EVEN THERE. WHY DID THE POLICE NOT PICK UP THAT OBVIOUSLY GLOWING SYRINGE SO THAT THE SMALL CHILD COULD GET IT. 

TIME SKIP AHOY (go back movie, I demand to know what Herbert was doing in the suburbs, and was this before or after Dan tried to leave him for the umpteenth time)

Oh my God Herbert you can’t just steal peoples’ pet rats, this is how you start prison riots. 

Holy shit is vengeance kid played by BABY EDWARD NORTON?

DOES THAT MEAN THIS MOVIE IS WILL GRAHAM VERSUS HERBERT WEST

Yes this is our DEATH wing of the prison where we bring DEATH down on condemned inmates and they sure do stay DEAD yessir no problems with the DEAD here

Ah, and I see the warden will be playing our Doctor Hill for the evening

To this movie’s credit at least it’s moving at a quick lil pace

Norton are you here to play an angrier Dan. Did they literally just say “okay we still want to do the same thing but we’re scared of having two older dudes in the lead.”

Oh, baby Graham is just dispensing with the backstory aaaaand he is totally on board with Herbert I AM INTRIGUED WITH THIS DEVELOPMENT. 

“Yo I saved this reagent for 13 years and got it past the guard with no trouble so, here you go.”

WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT HE’S TRYING TO USE IT ON THE DEAD PATIENT. 

Herbert “short term memory loss” West doesn’t bother to watch the zombie for longer than a minute

Well at least he learned, don’t approach the violent dead. 

WAITAMINNNUT THIS IS JUST THE MORGUE SCENE AGAIN. I’m on to you movie. 

EYYYYYYY is this lady character actually going to get to have plot agency? NEAT

OH HERBERT NO. YOU REALLY ARE TRYING TO USE HIM AS A REPLACEMENT DAN. This does not end well for you. Just ask James Sunderland.

(And HOW COLD IS THAT, move. Not even flashbacks, just one line about Dan giving testimony for the prosecution. COLD).

Wait, so the zombie that killed bby Norton’s sister was from the Miskatonic morgue…which means it would have to be from the original film because it would take some REAL SWEET TALKING to undo Bride….ARE THEY TRYING TO DECANONIZE THE MIDDLE MOVIE. SHAME. 

Okay I don’t remember either of you you kids’ names but you’ve got some cute chemistry

Herbs do not use the puppy eyes on the kid it’s not the same

Ah, it’s not a ReAnimator movie without some real awkward fuckin. 

“He doesn’t seem human anymore.” Because his precious assistant turned him over and broke his tiny sociopathic heart, baby Will Graham. A future version of you will understand (Imma go down with this ship, internet. Keep spinning in that grave, HP).

Ooh, reporter gal is real good at her job

Aw Herbert, you’ve worked your way up to sciencing the soul! I’m very proud

Okay, ngl, the prison yard scene is the most Herbert thing and I love it. 

Aaaaaaand demonic rat. Of course

Whoa. Not-Hill got his ear bit off AND THEN TOOK IT BACK

OH MY GOD THIS POOR GIRL

Ohhhhhhhh Herbs has his “lol ethics” hat on

Okay FUCK YOU MOVIE I LIKED HER. THIS FRIDGING IS BULLSHIT

Also bby Norton’s raw rage is a touch harder to buy than Dan’s was. She was a nice girl, but they’d only had a few dates.

Oh yeah, untie her. Good plan. 

Kuds to this gal, she’s giving it her all. 

THIS RAT FIGHT SCENE DEMANDS A SCREENSHOT HONESTLY

Wow, this prison allows a fuckton of leniency on its mad scientist inmates

I see Herb has learned his - YOU DID NOT JUST SLAP HERBERT WEST. MURDER HIM, Y’ALL. MURDER THIS DUDE GOOD. 

YES GOOD. Cross shot murders

Wow, it seems like opening all the prison cells should be harder than that

DO NOT SCREW THIS UP BBY NORTON THAT DUDE IS A RAPIST AND A SMOL SCIENTIST BEATER. FRY HIM.

Ugh, so hard to get a patient to give good feedback huh West

Aaaaaaand the soul carries the personality of course it does. YOU GAVE THE ASSHOLE DUDE NEW LIFE

Kudos again to this gal though (Elsa Pataky, I see - seems to be known for the Fast and the Furious movies?), she’s getting some fun stuff to play (although as “herself” mostly for the character that means screaming and cowering)

AND NOW WE ARE IN OUTLAST

OH MY GOD DOES THAT MAKE HERBERT DOC TRAEGER. THAT IS A CROSSOVER I NEED.

Vengeful Herbert is my favorite Herbert

Okay I lied, sassy Herbert is my favorite

And ohhhh there’s still half an hour of this left. Hurm. 

Hey where did bby Nor- oh, there he is. Still making poor life decisions I see

HERBERT GUARD YOUR BACK. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED LAST TIME

Ey, seems like the Warden is a famous giallo actor? That’s neat

Awwwww, I was totally wrong about that being baby Ed Norton, too. I am saddened by this fact. No disrespect to Jason Barry, I just mourn all the Will Graham jokes

Oh bro, bro are you gonna reagent inmates just so you can kill em again? Dude. That’s….dude.

Aaaaaand the addict fellow found the reagent. Well, at least he’s having a good time.

That…is a weird place to include boobs, movie. THIS IS WEIRD ALL OVER

OH MY GOD WITH THESE PEOPLE AND THEIR WEIRD EMOTIONAL HANGUPS. Herbert. Honey

“That dude is DEAD THOUGH.”

“weeeeeell…..”

HERBERT GOT TO DO ANOTHER ONE OF HIS AWKWARD SIDE GLANCES I’M SO GLAD

THEY ARE SHOOTING THE ZOMBIE MAN TO TRIUMPHANT HORN MUSIC I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HELP

Ohhhhh my God they just pulled an I Spit On Your Grave with the blowjob thing HOLY SHIT. I CAN’T EVEN

Bifurcated hanged man. Of couuuuuuuur he’s swinging it like a dead cat good lord

wait how WHERE DID THAT COSTUME CHANGE COME FROM

“This is mine” Herbert ARE YOU FIVE

I sense more intestine exploding coming

Herbert: holds up flashlight because FUCK IF HE’S GONNA MISS AN OPPORTUNITY

OH MY GOD THE MEAT SACK IS STILL - I CAN’T. I’M CRYING. HELP. 

The rat is rolling the severed penis I’m kind of running out of words what is even

Herbert is done and he has a cane. There is a CROSS CUTTING BEAT DOWN

And the fight choreography is from the UFC WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING BACKFLIP CRAB CRAWL?

Goopy electrocution aaaaaand the rat drops the penis in slow mo because OF COURSE

Herbert’s OH SHIT NOT AGAIN face. I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE DAN 2.0

Aaaaaand he just takes his ID card and leaves like NOPE NOT DOIN THIS AGAIN

Everyone’s laughing, CLEARLY A HAPPY END

HERBERT STOP DISCARDING REANIMATED BODY PARTS AT RANDOM

And then he wandered off into the night. To find Dan and have a talk (HUSH it’s the only thing that can make this more perfect)

[sclfmastery]

@sciencebeyondmagic​ continued from X

“NO.”

It was all she could do to choke the word out -- all rage and tears, and the missing hammering of her missing heart. It was hard, so much harder to talk through her tears, gasping for enough air with this stupid machine plugging up her chest that couldn’t ever seem to keep up when she needed it to. USELESS out of date tech. The only thing holding her together right now.

“Don’t... Don’t you fucking dare,” Bill hissed through gritted teeth, jabbing her finger at Koschei and fixing him hard with her wide brown eyes.

Koschei.

The Master.

Missy.

God she was an idiot.

“Don’t you go skulking away like some rat, with your tail tucked between your legs. You don’t get to do that!” She forced herself to suck in a breath, grimacing at the pain of it. Forcing herself to slow down. She wasn’t about to asphyxiate herself screaming at him. No matter how much she wanted to. No matter how much he deserved it. Not after everything she’d been through.

You don’t get to be angry.

“You’re goddamn right I have a real life to live now. And you’re part of it. I am YOUR MESS, Razor. Koschei. Missy. Whoever the fuck you are. YOU got me killed. YOU set me up to die. YOU abandoned me. And YOU CAME BACK. You were my best friend for ten years. Longer than The Doctor. Longer than ANYONE. YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND. You put me through hell, but you pulled me out again, which means I am YOUR. PROBLEM. And you don’t get to walk away now just because you’re ashamed of me and because I’m mad at you!”

Bill stepped up to him, jabbing her finger directly into his chest, standing nose to nose with him. She’d always been a little bit terrified of Missy. Had known, deep down, from the moment that cold-eyed woman had first laid her icy gaze on her, that she would be the death of her. She had been right. But Koschei was different. The Master -- god she was... absolutely never going to call him that -- was someone she knew. In part. Ten years was a long time to lie, and she had to believe that some part of that, no matter how small, some microscopic fraction of the man he had shown her down in the darkness and despair of that Mondasian ship had been real. She had to.

The Master might once have been one of the more terrifying monsters the universe had to offer.

But he’d never had to deal with a pissed off Bill Potts.

“Now you listen to me, ‘cause I'm only gonna say this ONCE. I don’t like you very much right now. I am... FURIOUS with you. You broke my fucking heart -- literally and figuratively. But that does not change the fact that you are my best friend and I love you. I’m not dead. That’s... that’s thanks to you. I am standing here, and that... other Bill isn’t, and that’s... that’s because of you. So I’m going to take some time, ‘cause if I don’t, I’m gonna take your fucking head off mate, I mean it. But when I get back. When I can look at you again. When I’m done crying about the fact that I cannot ever go home... I’m not ever gonna see Moira, or any of my mates, or my Doctor ever again... not ever going to fall in love, not as this... thing that I am now... the fact that I’m alive, and fucking Frankensteined, and I shouldn’t be, because what you did to me is SO UNFAIR... I’m gonna remember that you’re my mate, and you saved my life. And I’ll stop being furious, and start being grateful again. It is too late for apologies and excuses. It’s too late to take it all back, or change the past. My old life is gone. It’s never coming back. You robbed me of my whole life, three times, and it’s too late for sorries. But it’s not too late for us. I am... PISSED OFF AT YOU. But we’re not finished, you and me. Not by a long shot. You got all that?”

The “no” barrels through him a clap of thunder directly overhead, and the Master, who always respects power when it greets him, wheels back around, eyebrows raised. 

When at last Bill is done speaking, he does about the stupidest thing he can possibly do: he laughs. A wet snotty startled sound, soft and unsure, but a laugh. 

      “....I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say ‘fuck’ that many times in one go,” he confesses. “Will you never stop surprising me?” 

But his features slip down into a sorrowful freefall, like his hearts, like his sense of self, at one particular thing she’s said: 

    “I’m not ashamed of you. I was never and I could never be ashamed of you.  It’s important you know that.  Whatever you decide to do or not do with me, that was never a part of the equation. Bill, I liked you. Still do. Like some sort of chaotic...disastrous niece, or something. As for the rest....” 

A slow shrug, and a furtive smile; being gravely serious is too self-indulgent, and being completely irreverent is too callous, so he middles, with less certitude than his obnoxious egomaniacal persona has ever allowed. 

   “Well, I can’t really say much but ‘got it,’ can I?  And. Let you take off my head, if you like.” 

Still know the color of your toothbrush; still know who Moira is and why you would miss her; still know why you hate fish and chips; still know how your face looks when you taste bad tea and laugh and cry.  How to use that for good, instead of coercion, instead of hurt? 

   “You want me to stay now, or go?” 

[unknownwriting]

Hiiiii, can I request of Ace survived b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ f̶u̶c̶k̶ A̶k̶a̶i̶n̶u̶ and his s/o was pregnant with his child then after 2 years of time skip (they don't know Ace survived) can please Luffy & Sabo reunited with Ace, to his s/o and child and having family moments 🥺🥺🥺 👉👈

ｓｕｍｍａｒｙ- requested ^^

ｗｏｒｄ ｃｏｕｎｔ - 2.9 k, i honeslty could write a whole book 

ｓｏｎｇ ｉｎｓｐｏ- i love you - billie eilish

ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒｓ - Portgas D. Ace, Sabo, Monkey D. Luffy

ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ - None :)

ａ/ｎ- my sense of time is fucked. I could’ve swore it was Tuesday...but i still had a lot of fun writing this. I cried half the time but Ace 🥺🥺 so I hope you enjoy

(unedited)

“The weeds!! The weeds Luffy!! Not the flowers!” (Y/n) shouted as she leaned out the kitchen window. Even then Luffy still began to yank out the barely budding roses. For as much as he wanted to do the garden, Luffy sucks at it. (Y/n) eyes trailed over to the small pile of weeds and roses, where Luffy continued to toss the roses in. Let out a heavy sigh, (Y/n) called out to him again, “Luffy! Not the roses!”

“Huh?” Luffy hummed as he looked up and around before finally making eye contact with (Y/n). She scoffed at her absent-minded brother-in-law as she stated again,

“Your weeding the weeds, not the roses.”

“Eh? But they all look the same?” Luffy hummed as he looked back to the pile of weeds and roses then back to the rosebuds in his hands.

“See the little green ball on top of that the stem, those are roses that have yet to bloom. Those need to stay in the ground so they can bloom, what your getting is the other green plants.” (Y/n) explained as she pointed down the weeds that surrounded the roses. Luffy’s eyes followed as he began to finally see the difference between the 2. And with a chuckle, Luffy had gone back to work pulling out only the weeds this time. (Y/n) scoffed once again as she leaned back from the window and turned around on her heel and looked back at her blonde brother-in-law. She was so grateful for Sabo and Luffy. They sat through everything with her and supported her throughout it too.  Keeping her safe and healthy when she found out about Ace’s death, being there to help her through her pregnancy even sitting with her through her labor, and even now they still come and visit her regularly, checking up on her and her family. The trio of brothers are the best people she has ever met. Brightening her smile, she shook her head and began to walk past them.

“Ya’know for as much as Luffy wanted to do the garden, you’d think he’s at least how to do it.” (Y/n) sighed as she made her way next to Sabo at the table. She had taken a spot right next to him and picked up the pair of pants she was stitching back together. Sabo continued to shuffle through some paper as he glanced over at (Y/n) and chuckled.

“Well, you pretty much banned him from doing anything else. The garden is the only thing Luffy can do now.” Sabo pointed out, taking the pile of papers in his hands and setting them to the side, then began working on the other pile.

“...It’s his fault for being so reckless. If he’s your brother you should’ve raised him better.” (Y/n) huffed, cutting the string off the pants and tying them up. (Y/n) was currently fixing a pair of Estelle’s pants that were destroyed when he and Luffy were playing. It wouldn’t be a big of a problem if it wasn’t one of Estelle’s good pants. It was one of the best days Estelle had though, so it was easy for (Y/n) not to get too mad.

“Ace was the one who was the closest to him. I lost my memories although that time.” Sabo answered, as his gaze shifted down to the paperwork

“Looks like Imma have to call Ace out on that then-”

“Mama!!” A loud voice had shouted as the door to the small house swung open and a small (h/c) colored child had rushed in. (Y/n) was quick to drop the pants and open her arms to greet home her child.

“Estelle! Welcome back, baby.” (Y/n) smiled brightly as she gave a huge hug to her child. Estelle giggled and happily hugged back. Estelle wasn’t gone for long, only about 3 hours but it was easy to tell that he missed his mom. He definitely takes after his dad, being a very family-orientated person. Standing up from her chair, she pulled away from Estelle yet keeping him on her hip, she smiled, “We’re you nice to Doctor Cherry?”

“Yeah, she even gave me a candy.” Estelle proudly shouted as he stuck out his tongue and showed (Y/n) its blue color.

“Wow, You must’ve been such a good boy. I bet Dcotor Cherry was happy to spend the day with you.” (Y/n) smiled, as she set Estelle back on the floor and looked up at the red-haired lady that stood at the door.

“Of course, Estelle’s one of my best patients.” Cherry smiled as she looked down at Estelle. Estelle giggled loudly as grinned up from his mother's side. Cherry was another person who stood by (Y/n) when she was going through such a hard time, helping (Y/n) nurse back to health and helped a lot with the pregnancy. She was another that was close like family. As Cherry took a step into the house, she had opened her mouth to speak again but Sabo and Luffy were quick to interrupt.

“You’re not even gonna say hi to your uncles. Estelle, you make us so sad.” Sabo teased as he and Luffy walked up to join (Y/n). Quickly turning around to the sound of the voices, Estelle smiled brightly again.

“Uncle Sabo, Uncle Luffy!!” Estelle shouted as he jumped into their arms. The boys were quick to hug back and spoil Estelle in all types of affections. (Y/n) smiled at the view, that's one of the many things that she wants Estelle to learn that no matter what family is always important. With Estelle already being a very family-oriented person, it seemed that (Y/n) didn’t have much of a lesson to teach. Giggling to herself, (Y/n) turned back to Cherry to see what she was gonna say early. Once Cherry had seen that (Y/n) was back on her, she began again,

“Someone was asking around for you early today. I’m not sure who, but he seemed almost desperate.” Cherry explained as she watched (Y/n) face twist into shock and just for a moment, there was a huge flash of hope in her eyes that seemed to cloud her judgment for a moment. It was for a brief moment, but even with that flash of hope Cherry could tell that (Y/n) wants, more like needs, to see who it is.

“Asking for (Y/- Ow!!” Sabo hisses as he quickly pulled his arm towards him and began to rub the red spot that Estelle pinched, “He’s still in his pinching phase? I thought we were over that.”

“With Estelle? Of course not, he still goes around pinching everything and everyone. I’ve been trying to get him to stop but he doesn’t want to. I’m surprised that you thought he grew ou-”

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!! My nipples!!” Luffy cried as he pushed Estelle away from him. With the pain still written over his face, Luffy cupped his nipples and hissed. (Y/n) laughed as she watched Luffy sit there trying to soothe the pain running through him.

“Yeah no, he’s still pinching.” (Y/n) laughed before her, and Sabo, both turned back to Cherry and continued to question her.

“Who’s looking for (Y/n)?” Sabo questioned. It was easy to tell that his overprotectiveness was kicking him. The only response that Sabo got from Cherry was a shrug and then slowly walking out of the house as if to lead the others. Sabo then turned to look at (Y/n) asking the same question to which (Y/n) only ended up shrugging too.

“I’m not sure. Sail with Ace and Whitebeard-san I’ve met a lot of people, so I don’t know.”

Sabo hummed in response as he began to follow Cherry outside. Something inside of (Y/n) made her so anxious, but something has her heart racing, palms sweating, and her legs aching. Something about this guest just had her body aching, as if she couldn’t sit still. In the back of her mind, a small voice continued to echo, but there was no way it could be true. He’s dead, he passed away 2 years ago. Last time (Y/n) you can’t raise the dead either. So with one last shaky sigh, (Y/n) began to make her way out the door and towards Sabo and Cherry. Trying to push back her feelings, it’s like this every time, always getting her hopes up only for them to come crashing down. She tries to keep her cool.

“So, does it look like anyone we know?” (Y/n) questioned, as she took a spot next to Sabo’s side. Sabo let out a small grunt as he squinted his eyes to see the figure. (Y/n) had followed suit. Just at the bottom of the hill stood a man with broad shoulders. He looked around confused as he stumbled around the bottom of the hill. A soft laugh left her lips as she watched him, he looks so out of place.

“I-I-I….I don’t wanna jump to conclusions here, (Y/n), but doesn’t that look like-“

It didn’t take long for the man to make eye contact with the 2 at the top of the hill. He starred for a moment as if he was taking in the view before he smiles brightly and slowly began to make his way up. As if the world has stopped around (Y/n). That smile. That was the same smile that started this whole adventure, that made her happy even on the saddest days, that was the same smile that she fell in love with.  It was hard to believe. As if time itself has stopped, (Y/n) stood there speechless. She couldn’t even muster a sound or a reaction. Something like this never happens, maybe one in a million but last time she checked the skeleton on Luffy’s crew was the one. This was impossible, it had to be a prank or something. This couldn’t be happening and just as (Y/n) had open her mouth and rat at the person standing below them a laugh echoed through the field. It was real, this is all real. That laugh was one she couldn’t and wouldn’t forget. That laugh belongs to her later lover,

“Ace.” Breathlessly and barely above a whisper was all she could do. She was scared if she said it any loud she would have started to cry right there. (Y/n) began to inch forwards slowly trying to wake her body up and tell it to move. God, if only she could wake it up faster. Soon enough those baby steps turn into bigger ones then fast ones, then finally she was running. She was running as fast as her feet could carry her down the hill. Tears swiftly fell from her eyes as she made her way to her lover. Maybe dreams do come true. After all these days, weeks, months of wishing, her wish came true. And even now it’s better than what she wished for.

Not being able to stop herself and not even trying to, (Y/n) jumped straight into Ace’s warm embrace for the first time in years. Automatically (Y/n) inhales deeply taking in Ace’s smell of burnt ambers and sunk deeper into his strong and warm embrace. By now she couldn’t help the waterworks from coming. Neither could Ace, the 2 of them held each other close, taking in each other scent and loving embrace. As if this moment latest forever, the 2 of them didn’t let go for as long as they could. However, (Y/n) can only cry so much into his shoulder before taking a deep breath. So barely pulling away and with a red-eyed and snot-filled face, (Y/n) smiled as she tried to speak up the loudest and clearest she could.

“Y-y-y-your… you’re alive!! Ace is alive. Your alive!!” (Y/n) cried as she tried to call out to the others however your attention was all on Ace. She was scared that if she looked away he would disappear, so she kept her around him and locked her eyes with his.

“I’m alive. I’m really alive.” Ace sobbed back keeping his eyes locked with (Y/n)’s. She didn’t even care if his voice has reached them, she doesn’t want it to reach them. All she wants is to be with Ace now. Smiling through her tears, she pulled her hand up to Ace’s cheeks and began to rub her thumb against his freckled cheeks feeling his rough skin against hers. Ace, still through his tears, smiled and hummed as he leads into her hand, enjoying the softness and warmth her hands had provided. This moment should last forever, they both wished. Just as (Y/n) has dropped her hand to his chest and was able to lean in to kiss his lips that she wanted to feel and taste once again, 2 pairs of very loud footsteps came behind them. Before the 2 of them could even react, 2 bodies came crashing down onto them.

“Ace!!” The 2 of them sobbed as all of the 4 bodies fell over in the grass. Both Luffy’s and Sabo’s sobs could be heard for miles, like (Y/n) and Ace, they couldn’t hold back their tears. So all 4 of them laid on the ground and just sobbed, they couldn’t do anything else. Each one of them held onto the other with such an iron grip, it was hard to breathe but nobody wanted to move. The only time they moved was when Ace pulled back and started at Sabo for a while trying to figure out who it was.

“S-s...sabo. Y-you’re alive too?!!” Ace gasped as he could feel more tears falling. Sabo looked up and smile at him, nodding. And Just with that simple nod both of the boys began to cry even harder and the hug got tighter. This whole hug was a mess, they were all crying loudly. People in the village soon came to even check on them but none of them cared. After 2 years each of their dreams had come true and nothing else mattered.

“Welcome home, Ace.”

~~

“Luffy don’t-!” (Y/n) tried to protest all she wanted, but as soon as she had put down the food, Luffy was all over it. And taking after his uncle, Estelle was right there digging into the food with Luffy. Let a heavy sigh past her lips as she walked back into the kitchen to get the rest of the food.

“Oi! Luffy save some for us!!” Ace’s voice rang through the house as a loud thump followed along with Luffy groaning in pain. Like music to her ears, hearing Ace’s voice once again causes (Y/n) so much happiness and relief. Having her black-haired lover back is the best feeling in the world.

After all 4 of them had somehow managed to stop the tears, they didn’t spend a moment from each other. Where ever one went the others always followed because they were all scared that if they left then Ace would disappear. Although, out of the whole reunion, being able to reunite Estelle with his father was the best part. Luckily he’s only 2 so things weren’t awkward and he was able to quickly adapt to Ace. Being again to finally introduce Ace to his son and Estelle to his father was by far the best part. It only made (Y/n) cry even more.

“Hey, Daddy you can’t hit Uncle Luffy. Mama will get mad at you.” Estelle laughed as he waved around the bone. Even the word was foreign to Ace, it still took him a while to get used to even being a dad. But after staring at Estelle for a moment, just taking in the fact that Estelle’s actually his kid. Ace chuckled and smiled.

“Oh, will she now? Last time I check, I think I can handle your mother when she’s angry.” Ace chuckled as he leads back in his chair and crossed his arms. She could cry just looking at him. After all these years he hasn’t changed a bit. Messy black hair, freckled skin, a huge smile that could light up the room. The only thing that had changed, was the giant burn mark on his stomach. It was huge and very upsetting but it’s not like Ace didn’t have scars from before. With one last shaky breath, (Y/n) pushed back any sadness she had and quickly replaced it with joy. There is no way (Y/n) was gonna be sad.

“You better think again fire boy.” (Y/n) had stated as she hit the back of his head while she took a seat next to him at the table. Ace hissed at the pain while Estelle laughed in response. Sabo and Luffy were quick to follow in suit. All their laughter sounded like music to her ear. There really wasn’t anything else she could wish for. Ace was back, she’s having dinner with her family, and she was happy. It was all too perfect, it was almost like this whole thing was a dream. God, (Y/n) was terrified that it was all just a dream. The thought of having them go back to a time where Ace was gone and that-

“Ouch.” (Y/n) hissed as she grabbed her arm. Looking over next to her, she saw Estelle gigging up at her. Estelle and his pinches are gonna be the death of her.

“You so deserve that for early. Good job, Estelle, you’re learning quickly.” Ace laughed out loud as he looked over at his son. Estelle smiled bright and laughed along with him. (Y/n) couldn’t even be mad, but she wasn’t about to let Ace get away with it.

“Oh, you watch it, because last time I checked Estelle was still a mommy’s boy just like his father.”

[gxldenflower]

Sitcoms: The #1 Cause of Fatigue (Jimmy Woo x Reader)

Summary: FBI agent James E. Woo is a surprisingly good binge-watching buddy

A/N: Hello everyone! It’s finally here!! I really really hope y’all like this! Jimmy Woo was a really fun character to write and I plan on writing for him more in the future! I’m rambling rn but please enjoy!!

Warnings: FLUFFFFFFF, swearing, cheesy clichés and Jimmy Woo being one of the best MCU characters, very very minor wandavision spoilers (I don’t think there’s any spoilers but just in case)

Word Count: 1,364

Tags: @madame-rat, @bisexuaivalkyrie (for some reason I feel like I’m missing someone but I don’t think I am. If I did miss you I’m really really sorry i have a very bad memory dkafjdsklfj)

Gender Neutral Reader

Watching and analyzing a fake sitcom starring two Avengers (one of them dead) was not something you had planned for this week. Or ever, for that matter. Yet, here you were, eyes glued to an old box television with a pencil slowly slipping out of your hand. 

Doctor Lewis had commanded asked you and Agent Woo to continue keeping an eye on the TV as she went to work on something else. You’d agreed, and were now slowly starting to regret it. 

Sitcoms were never your thing in the first place and the fact that it was all some sort of an alternate reality made it even weirder for you. These were real people with real lives, and they were being forced to act in someone’s fucked up dream world. 

You sigh heavily, leaning back in your “chair.” Your “chair” was actually a hard wooden bench that barely fit two people. You close your eyes, finally letting the pencil drop out of your hand and onto the floor. I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit, you think to yourself. Because that always ends well.

***

You’re awoken by someone gently shaking your shoulder. You flinch away from them, startled. It takes you a few seconds to realize what had happened. You look up at Agent Woo holding a cup of coffee, looking down at you with concern etched on his face. 

“You alright, Y/L/N?” He asks you, tone matching his expression. You nod, rubbing your eyes as Agent Woo sits down on the bench next to you. 

“Shit, yeah. Sorry,” you mumble, brushing a few pieces of hair out of your face. 

Woo shakes his head. “You’re fine. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t tell anyone about how I accidentally short-circuited a laptop with a cup of coffee.” You stare at him blankly for a few seconds, when the hell had he done that?

He breaks eye contact with you and stares down at his shoes. “You didn’t know about that, did you?” Woo whispers in what you can only describe as abject horror. 

You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing but, despite your best efforts, a small smile forms on your face. You shake your head slowly, “No, I didn’t.”

Agent Woo clears his throat, straightening his back. You sit in silence for a few minutes, staring at the old tv blaring the fake sitcom. “Oh! I got this coffee for you since I don’t trust myself with hot beverages and electronics anymore.” 

He holds out the coffee for you uncertainly. You take the cup from him and smile. “Thank you, Agent Woo.” He smiles back shyly. 

“You can call me Jimmy if you want to,” he says scratching the back of his neck, nervously glancing over at you like you might attack him at any second. 

You smile again, face burning almost as hot as the coffee in your hands. “Alright, Jimmy.” You turn to face him and hold out your hand. “You can call me Y/N.”

Jimmy stares at your open hand for a few seconds before clasping it and giving you a firm handshake. You hold hands for a moment before you both burst out laughing, letting go of each other. 

Neither of you can seem to contain your laughter. You weren’t sure whether it was the stress or sleep deprivation that was getting to you, but tears were starting to form in your eyes. 

“It’s not even that funny,” Jimmy wheezes out, accidentally knocking his knee against the table. Which causes another fit of laughter between the two of you. 

Eventually, you both settle down and are reduced to just an occasional giggle when you make eye contact. But, when Jimmy hits his knee on the table again, you’re thrown back into a laughing fit. 

It probably would’ve gone on for the rest of the night had it not been for a stern glare coming from an ARMY personnel that you hadn’t seen before. But, the look was enough for you and Jimmy to quiet down and sink into your seats like a couple of second graders. 

But, despite the awkward moment, you settle into a comfortable silence, scanning the tv for anything out of the ordinary. Ordinary being a fake sitcom, obviously. Every once in a while you sneak glances at Jimmy, who has his full attention on the screen in front of him. He looks incredibly cute when he’s concentrating on something, you think, suppressing a smile. 

It goes on like that for God knows how long, with you glancing over at him sneakily and occasionally trading notes with each other. You’re not even sure what time it is when Jimmy finally drops his pencil onto the table. 

“I’m starting to understand why you fell asleep,” he mutters, stretching his arms upward. You hum in response as Jimmy lets his arms drop back down. He cranes his head toward the ceiling. 

“Why the hell does S.W.O.R.D. have the fan on if it’s raining outside?” He asks himself. You look up at where he was staring. You had noticed it when you first arrived at the base but hadn’t said anything, having more important matters to attend to. 

You’d eventually gotten used to the cold temperature, but you were still chillier than you would’ve liked to have been. And as soon Jimmy points out the fan, you let out a series of sneezes, ending with a sniffle and an involuntary shiver. 

Jimmy looks over at you, concerned. “Are you cold?” He asks and you shake your head as you once again shiver involuntarily. 

You sniffle. “It’s the-uh fluorescents.” He raises an eyebrow, unconvinced. “The fluorescents make my nose itch.” As if on cue, you sneeze once more into your elbow. 

“Right…” Jimmy trails off, and you look over at him with a guilty look in your eyes. “Are you a mind-reading vampire too?”

You laugh, caught off-guard by the fact that he understood your reference. “You got me there, Jimmy. I am actually a 117-year-old vampire.” You hope your joke distracts him from the fact that your body has suddenly decided that you’re in the North Pole instead of just a room with an uncomfortably chill AC. 

“You should take my jacket,” Jimmy tells you, and before you can protest he’s pulling it off himself and wrapping it snugly around you. After a moment of shock, you grab the edges and pull it even closer around you, trapping in the heat.

You look over at him shyly, face burning as hot as a stovetop. You smile softly. “Thank you, Jimmy,” you murmur. He smiles back, meeting your gaze before looking away in favor of his shoes. 

“Of course.” You lean back, tucking your feet under yourself and doing your best to focus on the tv in front of you. But, your mind keeps getting distracted by your racing thoughts. Oh my God, he gave me his jacket. It smells so nice. That means he smells nice. That means he smells like vanilla. HE SMELLS LIKE VANILLA-

Eventually, you somehow calm your brain down enough to understand what was happening on the TV. Which was eating dinner by the club pool, apparently. Nothing important so far. 

You sneak a glance at Jimmy, who seems to be about half-asleep. His notebook was long forgotten in his lap and he seemed to be staring anywhere but the television. 

“You still alive?” You ask him quietly. He makes a grunting sound and gives you a thumbs up. 

“Yeah, unlike you.” You chuckle at his response, but it’s broken up by a yawn. “We should get our replacements and take a break,” Jimmy says. 

You hum in agreement. “That sounds like the responsible thing to do,” you reply as you rest your head on Jimmy’s shoulder. Almost immediately, he wraps an arm around you. 

“We’ll get them in a few minutes,” he reasons. 

“Yeah,” you whisper, closing your eyes. 

***

“Y’know, normally I would be mad, but this is just wayyyy too cute,” Darcy mutters to no one in particular as she snaps pictures of you and Agent Woo together. 

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[voiceswithoutlips]

Fallen - Chapter One

— pairing: OT7 x Reader (F) — genre: Fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Soulmate AU, Fluff, Eventual Smut, ANGST , Poly!BTS — word count: 2.8k — Rating: M — warnings: minor character death, slight gore — beta: Thank you so much @taegularities​ and @unoriginal-username15432​ for all you feedback <3

Click for Tag List

— chapter summary:  

The people you killed, they haunted your dreams. They would say to you, “What you do always comes back to you, there is no escape from this miserable life.” It was true, there was no escape. In your world there was only darkness, sorrow, fear, hate and death, always death.

— A/N: It is I, your idiotic author. Welcome to my blog <3

Ch. 2

The sound of rain was like a roaring beast. It was almost midnight and the roads were lonely. You stood there in an alley facing a madman, uh, mad-vampire. His eyes were glowing red; he was wearing a dirty grey cloak on his rag like cloth. His brown hair had gotten messy when he’d run away from you but there he was, still as a dead body, waiting for you to attack. There were thick walls on both sides of the alley and behind him was a dead end. He was trapped.

“Lockham, why don’t you come back with me? That way I won’t have to kill you,” you suggested to the psycho killer vampire who stood a mere ten feet away from you. There was no way for him to run so maybe he would attack. You weighed your options - fight? That would’ve been nice; at least your body would’ve gotten some exercise.

He laughed. “You think you can win? Destiny is waiting for you Hunter,” he said in an impressive voice. Another one of those ‘destiny’ believers. Apparently the Goddess had a plan for us all, not that you had much faith in it. Gods don't care about who kills whom or who eats what, they’re more concerned about their own entertainment. You’d never put much faith in any higher power, God or not, nobody gave a shit.

“You’ve killed people Lockham, you’ve been a very naughty vampire and now it’s time for your punishment,”you said as a teacher would say to a naughty kid. He took a step back.

“Who are you to punish me?” he mocked, showing you his blood covered teeth. He was just having a meal when you found him and then you two had a nice chase. You were glad that he ran, you wanted to stretch out your legs anyway.

“Exactly, I’m no one,” you said and took a step forward; he took a step back simultaneously and vanished. What? Vanished? How? You walked forward to investigate and sighed. How careless of you. There was a hole, he fell into the sewer. He must have used cloaking so that it would look like he vanished. The only thing he forgot was to close the hole. You shook your head,  you hated wet places! You jumped down and landed lightly on your feet, without making a sound, perfect.

You were getting bored of chasing him, it was almost dawn and you needed your beauty sleep. You took a deep breath and pulled out your silver dagger. It was your favorite weapon. Silver was deadly to vampires. It was very pretty with a finely carved snake on the handle with emeralds where the eyes should be; a gift from someone you had known a long time ago.  You closed your eyes and let your mind wander through the tunnels. Just like your immunity to silver, your telepathy was stronger than centuries old vampires and you could perform magic. You were a half-witch after all.

You found him running through the tunnels. As soon as your mind touched him, he froze. You were inside his mind now. Reading someone’s mind was nothing like watching a movie or reading a book. It was like waking up from a dream, you don’t remember what you saw or heard but the thing that you remember is the feeling, the essence of the dream. Every being has a certain essence, unique to them. Like walls that you can’t see or touch, but you know they’re there. You could clearly see the tunnel before you, but it was like a distant memory, you were no longer there.

You were in a room, an old room with cobwebs and dust. It smelled of something rotten, like a thousand dead rats. There were worn out clothes hanging from the ceiling - correction, there was no ceiling, just clothes hanging midair and swaying with the wind, except there was no wind. At one corner sat two rusty iron chairs. The window with broken glass showed a full moon. 

There was an old cupboard on the wall with the yellow wallpaper. It was white as if someone had carved it from bone. There were noises coming from the cupboard, screeching, screaming, the cry of a baby, the soothing voice of a mother, someone’s last words. A shudder ran through your body. I will never ever do this again, you promised yourself. 

You heard a creak from behind and you swiftly turned back. There he was, sitting in a corner, the little boy. He held a tattered grey cloak in his hands. His body was folded at impossible angles. He was white as a sheet, there was no blood in his body. He was thin with brittle bones. Dull brown eyes in a sunken face held unimaginable terror. 

He looked up at you. “I’m tired, I want to sleep,” he whispered and quickly stole a glance at the cupboard.

“Then why don’t you sleep?” you whispered back, clearly not wanting to wake anything in there. Yeah, getting into someone’s mind was a nice thing, you could get full control over them... but there was a catch. If something went wrong in that mind or if you failed to escape in time, then you’d be trapped there forever, or die. You were pretty sure that you didn’t want to be trapped in this mind, not here.

“They don’t let me sleep, they keep me awake so that I could bring more and more food for them,” he replied, pointing a finger at the cupboard. Slowly, you understood what he was saying. ‘One without a soul feeds on other’s souls,’ the thought crossed your mind, not a good one.

“What if you don’t bring them food?” You already knew the answer but you asked anyway, maybe just to confirm it.

“I’ll go mad,” he whispered back with horrified eyes.

“Come to me, I’ll help you sleep.” The words left your lips, the real ones which were still attached to your face. Lockham turned back and slowly walked towards you. You could hear his heavy footsteps in the tunnel.  At last he took the last turn and there he stood right in front of you. His eyes were blank. It was like there was no soul in his body, no life. You had him entirely under your control. If you told him to do ballet, he would dance like a professional, but you weren't a sadist. Life had already tortured him enough. 

“Come forward,” you said softly, the sooner it ended the better. He walked forward and your silver dagger slashed through his throat, severing his spine, killing him in a second. Blood splashed and soaked his body. It was a merciful death, you had seen worse. There are worse things than death in this world. Death was just an easy escape.

You stood there for a moment, looking at him, wishing that the outcome would’ve been different. Were you feeling sorry for him? No, you were feeling sorry for yourself. You were a fifty year old vampire and in all your years as a hunter you’d killed hundreds of criminals, but you had never been able to save one. 

People knew and people talked. Some said that you were cursed; you were the representative of death, the spawn of darkness. As a result, the council only gave you high profile cases, criminals that were too far gone to be saved. It was always death. The people you killed, they haunted your dreams. They would say to you, “What you do always comes back to you, there is no escape from this miserable life.” It was true, there was no escape. In your world there was only darkness, sorrow, fear, hate and death, always death.

You pulled out your cell phone and called the police. They would take care of the body. You bent down to leave a tracker near it, so they would find it easily. Lockham’s eyes were wide open, and you closed them. “At least one of us is at peace,” you whispered. 

“You’re home!!” little Lilly exclaimed happily as you walked through the door. Your  family was sitting in the dining room, having supper. You were the firstborn, the eldest of your father’s children. Your father was the Duke of Serafino, the City of Snake; one of the two warrior cities in the Vampire Kingdom. He was a nice man with brown eyes and hair, fair complexion, nicely built but a little short. 

Your stepmother was a beauty; she had blue eyes, fair complexion, sharp features and hair spun like gold. Her children took after her, all cream and gold. They all hated you, except for the little one, Lilly.

“Yay, I’m home,” you said sarcastically. It was hard not to be nice to the little girl who looked at you with wonder in her eyes; she was so full of life. To no one’s wonder you had blood on your clothes and your darling step mother eyed it with a look in her eyes that said filthy. For you, it was like an invitation. You were planning to have supper in your room just like any other day, but you sat down at the end of the table. Your father was seated at his normal seat which belonged to the head of the family. The chair right across from him was the place for his wife, but that was your mother’s place and now it belonged to you. 

Your mother had died in childbirth, you had her amber eyes and olive skin. Her name was Katina. People told you that she’d been a beauty; you had some of her pictures and sometimes you would feel her close beside you. It was a weird feeling, but not bad, not at all. You weren't a person who put her feelings on display, heck you hadn’t even cried in like twenty years! The only permanent feeling you had left was emptiness. You felt numb, like a shell, nothing inside, no love, no hope, not even sorrow after all these years. It felt like you were dead and it was true, your heart was dead.

“I would like some blood sausages Charles and don’t forget the wine,” you said cheerfully to the butler. He was a nice guy, always talked politely. You suspected that he was in love with the cook, Ms. Glen; it would be nice to have some love in this house which felt like living in a coffin.

“How was your day, Y/N?” Lilly asked, her cheerful eyes trained on you. You wondered for how long this child would be allowed to keep her innocence? When you’d been her age ...you shied away from that thought. Thoughts bring back memories and your memories were like old corpses, one would never want to dig them. Instead you took a bite of your sausage - man, they were delicious.

“It was almost nice, Bunny. I played who-can-catch-me with a friend and I won!!” Bunny was the nickname you had given her because she was never still. Everyone paused for a moment; it was really weird and funny at the same moment. You loved how all the eyes drifted to you and back to Lilly. She was beaming because you had won the game. You gave her a small smile.

“Oh that’s wonderful!! Where is your friend now?” Curious little kid, everyone paused again, including you this time.

“You see, we were playing on a bet. He lost the bet so he had to …go to another city.” You were very good at lying, but her beaming eyes and pure innocence made it hard. It was impossible to lie to that child.

“When would he come back?” she asked, and you sighed. Your plate was half empty and the looks everyone were giving you just killed the hunger inside. You stood up with the wine glass in my hand.

“Chew your food, Bunny,” you replied and left the room.

Your room was a mixture of blue and gold. The wallpapers were straight lines of different shades of blue. The furniture was of mahogany wood with fine carvings. The round rug was golden on the edge and blue in the middle, it looked like a pool of water. All the linen was blue and gold as well. Your bed was round and big with golden bedposts and curtains. You had a balcony of your own with a little fountain with a sculpture of a mother and her child. You had spent a lot of time taking care of the blue roses in your garden. 

The front wall was covered with your music collection. You found peace in music, it was the only time when you could just forget everything and float. You quickly changed and crawled under the sheets, picking up the remote from the side table and pressing the play button. It was Mozart’s duo. What an amazing symphony! It helped you drift back to your happy memories.

Unlike your half brothers and sisters, you were raised in Tiria. It was a small town on the edge of Serafino. You were raised by the Countess of Tiria, a very kind woman. She had grace, beauty, and wealth but no children. She showered you with love and pretty gifts. You had excellent teachers for your education. You learned everything from crochet to fencing. 

The manor there was old and beautiful. It had a beautiful garden and a whole forest around it. You would often go into the forest, just to explore it. Those were the happiest days of your life. Until your tenth birthday - the day the Countess died.

Just like the symphony, your thoughts turned darker. You’d been happy that day; the maids had told you that you were going to have a big birthday party. The Earl had been there for two weeks now. Your innocent mind had thought that he was there for your birthday. That morning you were out in the gardens, picking up some red roses for the Countess, it was something you did every day. You would just run into her room to put them on her side table, she loved that. You held the bunch of roses in your tiny hands, running through the house to her room. You were wearing a very pretty white dress with laces and pink ribbons. Your bare feet softly met the stone floor as you ran to her room and pushed the door, happily calling to her.

The Countess was there, lying on the floor in a pool of blood. There were bruises on her body and a sword, stabbed right through her heart. The handle of the sword was in the hands of the Earl. He twisted the blade with a cruel smile in his eyes. Then you screamed. The flowers falling from your hands, red roses into red blood - they were the same color. Your pretty white dress was now red. You backed away still screaming, leaving little red footprints on the floor. The maids came running to you and held you tight as you screamed and screamed. You don’t remember for how long you were screaming or what happened later.

You drifted off to sleep. 

It was a beautiful forest. The trees were so thick that sunlight barely touched the ground and everything was covered in moss. You were standing there in front of a giant wolf. It wasn’t a werewolf, it smelled like a  regular  one but just giant, like a direwolf. It was growling at you, baring his teeth. You had no weapons with you, you double checked. You looked around for an escape, you could kill him with your teeth but they weren’t as sharp as they’d used to be. You looked at your nails, they were fragile. Heck! You were human!!

“Y/N, wake up!!” the wolf suddenly spoke in a girly voice. It didn’t make sense, really.

“Are you a girl?” you asked the wolf who was ready to kill you. Talking to an animal, guess you had finally lost your sanity.

“Y/N!!” Someone was shaking you, trying to wake you up without much success. Then you realized you were sleeping under a bunch of blankets and pillows. It was three in the morning; you could tell by the smell of the air. You peeked at the person who had dared to disturbed you. It was Lily.

“What is it, Bunny?” you asked sleepily. It was good she had practice understanding you while you sleep talked, if it was anyone else, they would’ve thought you were talking gibberish.

“I had a bad dream,” she said with a puppy face. You knew what she wanted; she wanted to sleep with you. 

“Me too,” you replied and ran your tongue over your teeth, yup, still vampire. “Come here you,” you said, grabbing her and stuffing her under the pile of blankets and pillows. You loved a warm cozy place to sleep. You held her like a teddy bear and dozed off again. She was so soft in your arms and she held tight onto you. Protecting someone was a good feeling. You went back to sleep as if  you had never woken up.

NEXT

[stark-tony]

underrated irondad and spiderson fic recs part 1

Men's Synch 3m Platform by loudestfandomsoftheworld

summary: or 5 times Peter Parker goes dumpster diving, and one time he does something else... " “You took my nephew dumpster diving?” Ben asked incredulously.

 His wife stood tall with a toddler strapped to her chest, tugging at one end of a couch with all her might. “I did not,” 

“Twash!” Peter yelled."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

do you even remember what the world looks like? by iron_spider

summary: Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.

Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.

“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.

Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Empty Casket by Jen27ny

summary: After the Vulture, Tony should have known better.

He should have listened to Peter.

But he didn’t.

And now, Peter is dead.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Patient #2252 by TheSoulOfAStrawberry

summary:  When a warehouse comes down on Spider-Man’s head and leaves him with a brain injury, Queens social worker Bianca Browne and Dr Grace Li of NY-Presbytarian Hospital find themselves racing the NYPD to uncover Spidey’s identity and get him help before he can be charged with a litany of crimes.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: police brutality

That's why they call me mr. fahrenheit by SparrowFlight246

summary: Peter’s on fire.

He wakes up fast, and before he even gets the chance to feel the pain, the aches, the dizziness, he feels the heat. It’s all encompassing, a raging inferno blooming from within him and burning him up from the inside out, and god, it—

—god, it hurts.

-

Peter gets whammied by a 24-hour superbug, and Tony’s left to keep him alive until tomorrow morning.

It sounds a hell of a lot easier than it ends up being.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

not like megatron by iron_spider

summary: “Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”

Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.

He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater by frostysunflowers

summary:  ''Dying.''

''You’re not dying.''

''Totally am.'

'''God, I hope not, otherwise May will skin me alive.''

or

A weekend visit to the cabin doesn't go according to plan.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, humor

warnings: none

an irondad's misguided approach to homesickness by livingtheobsessedlife

summary: Peter mentions it once. Once. That he’s maybe kinda sorta vaguely somewhat homesick. MIT is no Queens, that’s all really. All in all, Pete’s having a great time at college. Really, truly.

The thing is that Tony’s never really taken the whole ‘only mentioning it once’ thing all that well. Not when it comes to Peter at least.

This time is no exception.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

you held your pride like you should have held me by searchingforstars

summary: “I had to take the risk!” Peter snaps. “I saved your life.”

Tony’s stare hardens. “Yeah, and nearly ended your goddamn own. This isn’t a trade-off. It wasn’t your call to make.”

“You would have done the same thing to protect me,” Peter points out. Tony just seethes at the statement.

“I don’t care about what you think I would have done. You are not me. And I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself."

--

or, as the timer ticked down, Peter knew his only option was to take things into his own hands. He just didn’t expect Tony to be mad at him for saving his life.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

always on duty by parkrstark

summary:  Peter manages to convince Tony to take him to a gala, but when Tony is hurt, he realizes that it's just as dangerous to be Tony Stark as it is to be Iron Man. 

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, humor

warnings: none

Out of Left Field by blondsak, seekrest

summary: Even if Tony didn’t end up becoming a big fan of the Mets, Peter knew they’d still have a great time at the game. And the fact that Tony wanted to go with Peter badly enough to make it clear that he should buy a pair of tickets as a birthday gift?

Peter shakes his head fondly.

Maybe for once the month of May was going to work out for him after all.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

three weeks, two days, seven hours by crowkag

summary: It was a mess. A real mess. Peter had been gone for three weeks, two days, and seven hours, taken right out from under their noses.

And Tony was laying on the floor.

(AKA “you’ll always get there first”, but from Tony’s POV.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: 

for as long as i live and as long as i love (i will never not think about you) by searchingforstars

summary: When Tony first started to forget things, Peter thought maybe it was just age. People’s memories fade as they get older, right? Minds get weaker. It’s just natural.

But Tony has arguably the sharpest mind of the 21st century. Peter should have realised that it was never going to be just getting weaker. It was never going to be just age.

No - not when the sharpest mind of the 21st century also happened to come into contact with the deadliest amount of gamma radiation known to man five years ago.

--

or, Tony’s sacrifice is still haunting them five years later. Peter has to come to terms with the fact that Tony’s memory is fading.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

a dream is a wish by floweryfran

summary: Tony seems to panic for a moment, shifting his weight foot to foot, before spitting out in one mouthful, “I have a business trip in Florida right before your spring break and I talked to May and she says I can bring you to Disney for the week once it’s done ahhh.” He then breathes, grins plastically, and holds his hands out, like, I’m Tony Stark, hold your applause.

Peter runs the words through his head no less than three times to make sure he had understood them properly. “Disney—you and me—spring break?” he repeats.

Tony nods, hair flopping. “I mean, like, don’t feel obligated to say yes, but I thought it would be fun since May says you’ve never gone and she would’ve been working for your whole break anyway, y’know, at least this way we won’t be worrying about you sitting home alone for hours doing G-d only knows what—building accidental robot armies or something, or, worse, becoming a couch potato and forgetting every bit of knowledge I’ve ever carefully placed in that rat trap you call a brain—”

“Tony,” Peter says, waving his hands to shut Tony up. Something warm sits in the core of his chest, hovering. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, yeah, for sure, let’s—Disney. Let’s go. Wow.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Of birthday cake and millennium falcons by frostysunflowers

summary: "You still haven’t answered my question," MJ says, taking another sip of her juice.

 "Isn’t it obvious?" Tony replies, scratching at one of the scars on his neck with the end of a screwdriver. "It’s Ben’s birthday."

"And Ben’s birthday warrants a…" MJ waves a hand vaguely, "what the hell is that thing anyway?"

or

Tony has no self control when it comes to birthday parties and his grandson.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff

warnings: none

what i have, i give to you by aatticsaltt

summary:  Tony would give everything to Peter Parker, if he asked for it. When May calls telling Tony she thinks Peter isn't feeling well, he drops everything to go check up on his favorite spider kid.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Smile! by aatticsaltt

summary:  Taking Peter to Disney World was one of Tony's better ideas.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

and when it's hard, i'll place your head into my hands by hopeless_hope

summary: “Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”

“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”

“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.

or

It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Of Wally-Crawly Harnesses and Over-Enthusiastic Hat-Bestowing Capabilities by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: Tony raises a brow at him in triumph, then sniffs and rubs the side of his nose. “Besides, think of it this way. Now you got a bullet-proof neck.”

“Nobody would even shoot a sad-looking orphan bundled like a spring roll in Red Heart yarn,” Peter points out. “That’s just low.”

“Excuse me, young buck, I resent the implication that I would let Red Heart come within an inch of your skin.”

“You’re insufferable,” Peter says flatly. “I hate you.”

“And just for that, I think this calls for those wool socks I was working on,” Tony says brightly.

“No--no, wait--”

“It’s time to learn that your consequences have actions, Parker--”

“Wait, wait, I love your knitting, I think it’s super healthy and fulfilling and honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to you since you retired!” Peter hollers at the man’s figure as it retreats quickly down the hallway. -- After Peter faints into hibernation because he can't thermoregulate, Tony isn't taking anymore chances. Out come the wool skeins and the knitting needles.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

how do you sandwich!? by killerqueenwrites

summary: “Why are you buttering toast before you toast it?

”“I’m not toasting this.”

“Then what are you doing?” Peter demands.

“I’m making a sandwich.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

What I Can't Live Without by aatticsaltt

summary: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Heavy lies the heart of the father who has to watch his son bow beneath the weight of the world.

or: When Peter calls Happy needing a ride out of the Netherlands, it's Tony who comes to the rescue.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Tales from Quarantine by just_a_hungry_author

summary: Peter, Morgan, and Tony are all stuck inside during the Coronavirus quarantine. Morgan learns to play Monopoly, Tony struggles to help with 1st grade math, and a prank war ensues.

God, this is the longest two weeks ever.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

if we have each other by ftmpeter

summary: "Do you ever just, like, feel like you’re upside down?"

"You are upside down, Pete."

"Sounds fake."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

What Happens in the Blanket Fort Stays in the Blanket Fort by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: “Well, I was gonna discuss with May some legal particulars about changes to my will that involve you,” Tony drawls, “but looks like I’ll just have to change my plans.”

There’s a beat. And then a yodel: “I’m just a poor boy, I need--”

“If not for this goddamn quarantine, I’d be there in a flash to shut you up myself, Spidey-Tighties.”

“You made these ‘tights’.”

“Funsie-onesie.”

“Mr. Stark.”

“Cooty-footies.”

“Mr. Stark. I’m begging you. What does that even mean.” -- Tony comes over to keep Peter company during the quarantine while the kid waits for May to come home from work at the hospital. Bants are had. Feelings are spilled. And maybe, just maybe, a hug or two is shared.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

On his Shoulders by snarkymuch

summary: “Please, please,” Tony begged, “Keep breathing, kid. Don’t do this to me. You can’t leave me like this.” The morning started like any other for Tony. He kissed Pepper good morning and sipped his coffee. He scanned his emails and chatted with Pepper about the vacation they were always planning but never took. The calm should have been a warning, as the storm always followed.

OR

Peter and Tony get trapped in a building collapse and Peter is gravely injured.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

coronapocalypse by peterstank

summary:  “This whole quarantine thing shouldn’t even apply to me.”

“Uh, I beg to differ, it’s very serious,” replies Tony’s voice, slightly muffled like he’s got his phone pressed between his shoulder and chin. “We’re all on lockdown, which means no leaving your place unless it’s for emergencies.”

“And what qualifies as an emergency?”

There’s a pause.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not in your apartment?”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

Little White Lies by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter gets injured and tries to treat it himself, hiding it from Tony, but he can't keep it hidden forever.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter Parker and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Semester by just_a_hungry_author

summary: "So tell me, Kid." Tony said, patting the space next to him. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing's been going on." Peter denied, but he sat down anyway.

"Pete, don't bottle your emotions up. Only I'm allowed to do that."

When Peter again didn't smile at his joke, Tony continued. "I know you're stressed, Bud. But tell me why so I can help you."

"It's nothing you can help." Peter mumbled.

"Can I at least try?"

"I've just been having a bad week."

OR: Peter’s been having a rough time at college, Tony tries to jump in and help. 3000 words of pure fluff.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Windy Webs by silentsaebyeok

summary:  And that was it. He was officially an idiot. Peter didn’t mean to be dramatic, but this was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to him, even if there was no one around to witness the fall of the century. -- Peter goes web-slinging in dangerous weather and gets seriously injured. It doesn't help that he has to spend the whole summer living with the consequences.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter gets the chickenpox by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter and Morgan both catch the chickenpox. Morgan's case is mild, but Peter's is severe. Tony takes care of them both.

pairings:  none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

[another-cancer]

Chapter Five: Introducing the New and Improved Damian Wayne

Tim was trying to find as much information as possible of ‘Marinette’ for Jason. Still searching away he was positive there was nothing. Marinette simply did not exist. Instead, he changed his approach to using a program he created where he was able to sort through some sightings of her and a few people that looked like her from the back of their heads. Turns out she was also good at avoiding having her back to the camera. Plus, crime alley did have a lack of cameras in general.

However, he did find a clip of the girl having a standoff with the scarecrow. She was shot at and the bullet grazed her. It happened on the same day she took down the trafficker. There was a lot going on with the girl. Yet nothing was on paper.

It was driving him insane.

When Damian entered the Batcave he was not expecting to see Tim searching for a person with all too familiar eyes. Eyes he had memorized. Eyes that once stared into his soul judging him, weighing options. Eyes of a killer.

He took large strides towards his brother and asked, “Tim why do you have this girl on file?”

Tim, who hadn’t slept in 30 hours, barely registered that Damian entered the room until he spoke up.

“It’s a girl Jason met the other day that he asked me to look into.”

“What did you find?” Damian demanded.

“Not much. Nothing about her history, just some photos of her around the city and a few before Gotham.”

“How far back?”

“They are all super scattered, but the earliest I found dates 3 years back, she looks about ten or eleven. Why do you have so many questions?” Tim spun to face Damian.

Damian considered what to say. He could lie and say he was just curious. Tim was too sleep-deprived to be able to notice. But lying was also frowned upon. The truth, however, was not pretty. She spared his life and she hates him. Tim wouldn’t understand.

So Damian opted for the half-truth, “I knew her back when I was with the league.”

“OH. OHHHH. That honestly makes sense. She is really good at staying off the cameras. So she was with the league? Is she still with them? Is she here to kill someone? Oh my god, Jason said she was taking care of a bunch of kids. This could be bad. I need to write this down somewhere,” Tim rambled.

“Tt. She wasn’t with a league. There are other organizations of assassins out there. She’s not a threat, you can relax.”

That was a lie. She was the most flawless killer Damian had ever been told about. She was a threat. But he had no clue if that still holds true. After all, Ladybug is dead, he killed her.

“Okay, so can I ask you a few questions?”

“Sure.”

“Can you confirm her name as Marinette?”

“No, I never knew her real name, just the one she killed under.”

“What was that name?”

“Ladybug.”

Tim would never get anywhere with that name and he knew it. Assassins have a very limited presence online and even if they used the internet the same way a teenager might he still would be sorting through animal-related content for days. Tim needed more.

“How many people did she kill? And how old is she? She seems pretty young in the photos.”

“She’s my age. As for people, there are only rumors. No one really knows.”

“Can you give me an estimate?”

“Rumors of Ladybug started when I was six, when I was seven the rumors got louder. When I was nine they stopped. So between six and nine, there were a lot of people and after that, I’m not sure. But she’s not dangerous.”

“You make her sound dangerous.”

“She’s a coward. Cowards aren’t dangerous, they are weak. And it seems she hasn’t changed,” The latter half of the statement was almost a whisper.

“You knew her,” Tim heard him.

“No.”

“You basically said you know her.”

“Drake, I-”

“Please just tell me, I won’t rat you out to B next time you try to kill Jason if you tell me.”

Damian considered it, “I knew her.”

The truth was now out there. And Damian knew Tim would want to know more. And maybe Damian made a mistake telling Tim. But the truth was good. The truth was supposed to be good.

“How long ago? I mean I assume back when you were with the league. But how? Do all assassins run in the same circle?”

“I said I knew her not well, we met once. She- Ladybug. We met while she was Ladybug. But Ladybug is dead,” there was anger in his voice. “That girl may look like Ladybug, but she’s not her, Ladybug is dead. That girl is a coward.”

“Care to explain instead of just being cryptid?”

“Ladybug tried to kill me,” he spat the words out like venom.

“Wait- I thought you said she isn’t dangerous. That sounds dangerous.”

“She’s not dangerous, Ladybug was. Ladybug was, but she’s dead. I killed Ladybug.”

Tim was visibly confused. Damian was just angry, he had gotten himself mad just thinking about a girl he never really knew. A girl that made him hate everything even remotely related to her. A girl that was supposed to be dead.

“Look, I haven’t slept for a while, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t make sense even if I was well-rested. So care to explain?”

“No.”

Damian was about to leave when an alarm went off. There was an attack downtown. The Scarecrow. Fifteen minutes later they arrived on the scene to witness a heated fight between Scarecrow and Marinette. Marinette was kicking his ass with no problem. Most of the family looked surprised, even a bit proud of the small girl. They were ready to jump in and help. But Damian was seeing red and charged right at her.

First Previous Next

[tokumusume]

Everything hurts and I’m fine: Eternal Love episodes 5 - 10

Join me for another round of suffering and hot men (mostly suffering).

Not a scene by scene recap, just random thoughts.

Sad and h0rny boy Li Jing takes Xuan Nu to his home and marries her, but she’s a scheming bitch. He can’t stop thinking about Si Yin and spends his little screentime looking like a puppy who got lost during the moving.

Wet Mo Yuan alert! Could that water be more transparent tho...? 👀

I’m starting to understand what’s up with ghost Snape Mo Yuan...

Everyone goes to war. Moses Mo Yuan parts the sea, Ninth disciple dies (rip man, you were cute), Ghost King (not Wen Kexing) tries to suck the entire world into a magical bell/vortex but of course Mo Yuan sacrifices himself to seal him, just like he told Si Yin he would do if the need arises.

Mo Yuan is dead. Or is he? Si Yin wants to try a little necromancy to preserve his body for an eventual awakening. She gives him her blood because she’s a nine-tailed fox and nine-tailed fox blood works as embalming fluid. Take note, future morticians!

A little orphaned girl is introduced to the Heavenly King and YIKES, the look on Dijun’s face as he follows her with his eyes is disgusting. Please tell me I’m overreacting.

Mo Yuan’s fake lotus is dead (just like him). It turns into a cloud of glitter and enters the body of a woman thought to be infertile. Oh god, I know exactly where this is going...

Xuan Nu complains that she’s not getting any ghost D since the day she married Li Jing and I lol’ed.

Si Yin steals Mo Yuan’s body and goes back to her home. #true_love #grave_robbery

AND... of course, the previously infertile woman gives birth to a boy only days after touching Mo Yuan’s lotus. It’s Mo Yuan 2.0, aka Ye Hua. He’s clad in black, he’s brooding, he still has one facial expression.

Bai Qian’s set to marry Second Prince Zhao Jing and is ghosting him. He falls in love with her snake maid instead and it goes as well as you expect. Which is not well at all. Ye Hua is a f*cking snitch and rats on him when he takes his snake gf to Heavenly Realm. She’s imprisoned and tortured.

I forgot to add that we got a timeskip and it’s 70,000 years later (yeesh) and Si Yin is Bai Qian 24/7 now.

We get a sad backstory about Ye Hua. Turns out he wears black all the time to hide injuries from his mother. For real. Such a drama king.

Dilireba appears! So pretty... She’s saved from imminent death by Dijun (who just happens to be nearby) and istg they gonna have to work to make me swallow this couple. SHE IS A CHILD NEXT TO HIM. She’s literally child-coded!!!

The King tells Ye Hua not to be a slave for p*ssy like his Second Uncle, then his First Uncle (who I keep mistaking for Zhe Yan but Zhe Yan has a cute bow on his pink robes) tells him the opposite. Ye Hua swears he’s not weak like that. We’ll see in a few episodes.

Bai Qian’s wedding to Second Prince Zhao Jing is cancelled due to popular demand and she’s promptly betrothed to Heavenly Realm MVB (most valuable bachelor) Ye Hua. He’s soooo excited...

Xuan Nu (I love to hate her, Bambi Zhu is so good!) is hella mad that her husband Li Jing banged a random maid without condoms and got her pregnant. She bitch-slaps the maid and sends her to die in some awful place. Where is Li Jing btw? Too busy making babies to make an appearance? I miss his sexy face.

Bai Qian’s brother (Yu Menglong) is so cute!! I love his little mouth! Brb, I have to stalk his Weibo.

Bai Qian managed to calm down the Ghost King inside his bell prison but he’s still powerful enough to kick her to the Mortal Realm to suffer. Ah shit, here we go again... She lost her memories but got a cute kitten that looks exactly like my own cat (dm me for pics of my cat). It’s a win for me.

~ end of episode 10 ~

SO MANY THINGS happened in five episodes, it was hard to stop myself from writing down everything (a lot of bloggers already recapped this drama much better than me). Thank you for reading my ramblings and see you next time!

[kenziedrawz]

Alright, It's Mad Rat Dead AU posting hours. I call this au Theme Park of The Almost Dead, why? we'll get to that later. But beware! this AU contains spoilers for Mad Rat Dead And mentions of Comas!! So be warned I say! Be Warned!

So, The protagonist of this au is the Little Girl who I shall call Elizabeth because I do not know her canon name( or if she even has one). She suddenly wakes up in a strange dark forest missing some recent memories, a shoe and her hat, She gets a bit sad that she has lost her shoe and hat but gets over it soon enough as she sees a light in the distance through the trees. So Elizabeth goes over to the light to see what it is and it's a gate! Specifically a gate to a theme park, and it's unlocked! So Elizabeth heads on in so that she can hopefully get a clue on where the heck she is...

But, strangely, the theme park is,, empty, not a single soul of living creature in sight, whilst Elizabeth wanders around she swears that she hears a whisper or two and a few eyes on her at times. After she explores almost the entire park without anyone appearing out of nowhere, there's now a major presence behind her, so she turns around and is met with what is most probably a three-eyed monster, So she does what any kid would do, panic and run away.

So, after a bit of running away our protagonist has hidden herself somewhat decently she is trying to silently cry to herself because scary monster bad, and now there is this one-eyed creature oH GOD- oh wait never mind it's friendly and it looks like a heart,, and it's name is Heart, cool.

Alright enough fooling around and really getting into the head of our protagonist so, After heart manages to calm Elizabeth down the two leave the hiding place they meet up with Mad Rat,, who is somewhat human now, he still has rat ears, a tail, a fairly large hole in his chest and stitches, just, Human-ish. so after some explaining on what this place is and that when the gate is shut it can only open again after seven days pass, so basically what happened in the explanation is that this place is called the Theme Park of The Dead, and that Elizabeth isn't supposed be here because she is technically alive, but somehow, she's here. But before anything else can be explained a large, shadowy creature with many eyes appears before the trio, and this creature is clearly evil because it immediately tries to kill them. Luckily Mad Rat and Heart are able to beat it back to wherever it came from.

So, after a lot of theme-park shenanigans and character development and friendships being formed it is now day five of waiting for the gate to be able to be funking opened again when Elizabeth notices a strange trail of,,, cheese? being curious, She follows it, clambers over a barricade made of boxes and out a back-doorway. eventually, Elizabeth finds herself in a colourful, albeit a bit creepy, forest, eventually she meets a being that calls It's self,, Rat God. Rat God talks about how, great this place(meaning the theme park of the dead) is, and then asks Elizabeth if she wanted to stay here. Elizabeth does ponder on this question but during her pondering Rat God interrupts stating that she knows what her answer is already and states that if Elizabeth wanted to stay forever then she'd have to die BUT THANK WHATEVER TRUE GOD THERE IS THAT HEART AND MAD RAT ARRIVE IN TIME TO STOP RAT GOD FROM KILLING ELIZABETH HOLY FUCK.

Alright, Now it's time to explain what happened before the theme park, so remember the start of City at Night (Reprise)? yeah, So Elizabeth gets into the accident, mad rat rewinds time to try and save her, BUT this time Rat God decides to interfere with the process, and leads Mad Rat towards a Cat, and that cat kills Mad Rat, and Heart because if Mad Rat dies then Heart dies as well. So, Mad Rat and Heart wake up in the real afterlife where a god has decided to give them a chance to earn their life back, all they have to do is make sure that Elizabeth wakes up from her coma. Yeah, that's right, Elizabeth was put into a coma, that's why she's in the Theme park of the dead, why this au is called Theme park of the ALMOST dead. Because Elizabeth is almost dead but can be saved. But why is rat god here? well, this rat god is a mixture of both Parasites that were inside of Mad Rat and Elizabeth, because Elizabeth has the Parasite in this au.

So, the entire sixth day both sides are planning on how to keep Elizabeth alive/ kill Elizabeth off. and on the final day, as the clock ticks forward towards the time when the gate can finally be opened... Rat God makes her move.

So, how does this au end? well, Elizabeth does wake up and recover from the Accident and Mad Rat and Heart get their life back and rat god is defeated. but, unfortunately due to Rat God already being defeated Mad Rat can't get thrown back to the beginning of his (supposed) final day cause heart can't really rewind that far back. So yeah also the next day Mad Rat is freaking out because he is supposed to be dead, turns out when getting brought back to life your life-force also gets extended.

And now to talk about some abilities Mad Rat and Heart gained when they were at the theme park! So, uh, there isn't really much I've thought about for Mad rat but I do now that Heart gets a Fiery(although it doesn't burn it just looks like fire) Cat-Like form but it's more light-like in terms of colour. And that's basically it! Hope you enjoyed listening to me yap on!

[lady-salvatore]

The Switch

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x Reader

Requested by @cherylmfblossom: Could you do something with Damon where the reader turns off her humanity after something traumatic and he tries to get her to turn it in 💜💜

Notes: slight Klaus x Reader because I’m a hoe for a hybrid ANYWAYS

It was the first time you’d killed someone.

You fell to your knees, cradling the head of the teen boy you’d drained the life out of. He’d had his whole life ahead of him— and you stole that from him.

“I’m sorry,” you gasped, your chest lurching at the feeling of guilt that overcame you.

Damon rushed into the alley you were in. “(Y/N), oh my God...”

You looked back at him, eyes wide. “What did I do?”

Damon came over to you, cradling your face in his hands. “It’s okay, it happens-“

“It’s not okay!” you yelled, pulling away from him. “I killed him! I’m a murderer and a monster!”

“No, baby, listen...”

“You did this to me,” you cried. “You made me into a monster!”

Suddenly, he went cold. He scoffed and stood up. “Well, if that’s what you think of me...”

Your heart paused. “Damon, I didn’t-“

“Sure, you didn’t mean it. Just like you didn’t mean to kill him.” Damon pointed an accusatory finger towards the corpse.

“Damon!” you yelled at him as he sped away, overcome with grief and anger. You let out a sob.

All your emotions felt like waves crashing over you, pulling you under an ocean of pain. You were drowning.

You only knew one way to come up for air.

It’s just a little switch, you thought.

You swam towards the surface, through the guilt and pain. And suddenly, you broke free.

You felt your heart rate slow, your eyes drying. You blinked, and it was gone.

You stood up and wandered down the alley, suddenly forgetting why you were ever upset to begin with, or what that even felt like.

-

Somehow, you found yourself at the bar, downing some kind of bourbon that somebody used to drink. Maybe it was Damon? You didn’t know or care.

You smiled at the bartender over the counter. “Another.”

He hissed. “Ah, you’ve had one too many.”

You grabbed his collar and pulled him towards you. Then, you compelled, “Another, sweetheart.”

The bartender nodded and you sat back in your seat.

You took notice of someone sitting beside you before realizing it was Stefan. You grinned.

You’d always thought Stefan was handsome, but for some reason you couldn’t remember, you were never allowed to make a move.

Oh, that’s right. Damon. Not here now, is he?

“Hey, Stef.” You winked at him.

Stefan looked shocked at first, but then smiled softly. “Hey. Damon told me what happened.”

“Pft.” You waved your hand dismissively. “It’s whatever. I lived, right?”

He looked confused. “I guess.”

“Hey,” you said, peering up at him through thick eyelashes. “Would you maybe wanna get out of here?”

Suddenly, his eyes widened in realization. “You turned it off.”

You faux-gasped. “Did I?” Then, you let a smirk take over your face. “Ah, well, you know what they say.”

Stefan frowned. “What... do they say?”

You grinned. “I don’t care.”

With that, you snapped his neck. You couldn’t have him running to tell Damon, could you? It’d spoil all the fun.

You strutted out of the bar with a smirk on your face.

-

“I turned it off,” you yelled through the Mikaelson mansion in Mystic Falls.

“Finally,” Rebekah said absentmindedly as she flipped through a magazine on the stairs.

You grinned. “I’m super bored. Does there happen to be anyone around here to entertain me?”

Klaus suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs with a smirk on his face. “Well, there’s no harm in having a guest.”

-

You were lying against Klaus’s chest in the living room, him kissing your neck as you giggled.

Suddenly, the door slammed open to reveal your best friend, Bonnie.

“BonBon!” you laughed. “Come, join us.”

She wrinkled her nose. “No, thanks.”

You pouted. “How sad.”

“No, you know what’s sad? You sleeping with Klaus. You hate him!” Bonnie said, exasperated. “And you have a boyfriend, although he’s not much better!”

You rolled your eyes. “Damon left me in my hour of need.”

“And that sucked of him!” Bonnie admitted. “But you can’t abandon the rest of us just because you’re mad at him!”

You got up from your seat and walked over to her. “Bonnie... you understand me more than anyone. We have both spent the better part of our teenage years sacrificing ourselves over and over for Damon. And for once, I don’t care about him at all. If you had a switch, you’d flip it, too.”

Bonnie shook her head. “No, because I’m not a coward. I’m glad I don’t have an out.”

Then, you got an idea. “But what if you did?”

She looked confused for a second. You bit into your wrist and forced your blood into your mouth, before you were restrained by Klaus.

“Sorry, love,” he growled in your ear. “We need a Bennett witch on hand.”

Then, he snapped your neck.

-

You woke up chained to a wall in the Salvatores’ basement. Once you realized where you were, you rolled your eyes.

“Klaus, you snitch!” you growled, kicking the floor. “Dirty rat!”

“Your lover isn’t here to help you,” Damon said, rather condescendingly as he came into your cell.

Your chest tightened uncomfortably. “He’s not a lover. He’s a special friend.”

Damon scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You moved on fast, huh?”

“You left me,” you growled, surprised at the anger you felt bubbling in your chest.

“You called me a monster,” Damon snapped back. “You called yourself a monster.”

“If you didn’t want me to be a monster, you shouldn’t have turned me into one,” you snarled.

Damon shook his head. “I did it to save you, and you know that.”

You laughed. “And now look at us! Even now, you’d rather me be dead!”

Damon’s eyes widened. “That’s what you think?”

“Well, don’t you?” you asked, motioning to your chains.

Damon kneeled beside you and sighed. “I’m gonna take a page out of Elena’s book, if you don’t mind. I’m not giving up on you.”

You glared at him. “If you’re waiting for me to flip it back on, you’ll be waiting a while.”

He glared back. “I’ve got all the time in the world.”

-

It had been a few weeks you’d been in the basement, being starved and tortured. You were sick and tired of it.

Then, they sent in Damon.

He smiled at you. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“You’re here? It must be Christmas,” you rasped.

Damon’s blue eyes sobered. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“This is who I am,” you muttered.

“No, it’s not.” Damon shook his head and sat in front of you with a handful of pictures.

He lifted up the first one— a photo of you and him on Christmas, you laughing and forcing a Santa hat on his head.

“Remember that?” he asked, looking at it himself. “You got me... a trip to Venice.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re trying time bring me back with our little memories? That’s cute.”

Damon smiled and lifted up another. “Look, there’s the trip to Venice. Gondolas, and all that.”

“I did like Venice,” you smiled, then deadpanned. “I think I’ll go there after my escape.”

“Fine,” Damon said, his eyes turning to ice. “What about this one?”

He lifted up a picture of a boy you didn’t recognize at first. Then, with a crushing panic, you realized.

It was the boy you killed.

“His name was Derek,” Damon said. “A friend of Matt’s.”

“Stop it,” you muttered.

“What was that?”

“Stop it!” You growled and threw your head to the side to avoid looking.

Damon grabbed you by your jaw and forced the photo in your eyeline. “He had a little brother, and two dogs.”

You felt your heart thump harder. “Damon, stop! Please stop!”

Damon only glared at you. “He was on the baseball team and he worked part-time to support his mom. He was a good kid, and you killed him.”

You screamed as tears forced themselves out of your eyes. “Damon, stop!”

Damon grabbed your face. “I shouldn’t have left you, but please, you have to come back. I’ll be here this time; I won’t fail you again.”

You were halfway between it all— feeling it all and feeling nothing at the same time; a strange kind of limbo. “It’ll hurt.”

His blue eyes bore into yours. “Life hurts, (Y/N), but it’s real. Come back to me, and I will be here. Now turn it back on.”

With a sudden lurch, your heart sprang to its full speed, and a wave of emotion came down like a tidal wave. You were drowning again— crying and kicking and screaming— but this time Damon’s arms were around you.

“I’ll never leave you again,” he whispered into your ear.

“I’m so sorry,” you cried into his chest, the guilt weighing down on you like the world on Atlas.

He petted your hair. “Me, too.”