#and then people got shitty at me for getting out here at 6pm because it ‘held everything up’ but like the elder of my sisters could have

[tombsforteeth]

I know my younger sister has issues and has since a child, but fuck why should we have to pussy-foot around her on Christmas under her threat of “fine, I’ll just fucking go then” if she’s going to spend her time in a dark room on her phone?? If it wasn’t Christmas and for mums sake and it being the only day of the year that the whole family is together, I would pull have said fine fuck off. I’ll have to ask her when she wakes up. Like, go to a psychologist and heal whatever trauma it is you got. You’re not the only one with issues here, and should you really be moving in with your younger suicidal sister if you’re going to flip and be nasty like that? “I don’t actually care about any of yous” well you do otherwise you would have blocked all our numbers, not talked to us at all and not bought us actually really thoughtful gifts.

And to cap the night off was a strong disagreement with dad over whether or not shooting and killing your otherwise perfectly healthy dog because they kill chickens or wander off on a scent trail is okay. I think you shouldn’t kill animals for being animals that need additional training but “this is a farm, nature is cruel, and you live and you die”.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #125

What is your favorite middle name for a girl? It totally depends on the first name. I don't have a set favorite.

Which insect annoys you the most? Gnats.

How many proms have you been to? Two.

Do you prefer hard rock music or soft rock? I like both, but I prefer hard rock, generally.

Did you ever own a Furby? Yes.

What is your favorite type of dance? Modern. It's a hard type to really describe if you've not done or seen a lot of it, but I think the best way to put it is it's a very story-telling, emotive sort of dancing.

What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Stiiiiill the only one I've ever been to, I want to go to more so badly.

Have you ever dressed up as a fairy? I don't think so, but for years now I've totally wanted to do a fae-esque photoshoot 😭

What is the most significant health issue you have been dealing with lately? I guess being pre-diabetic. I have no idea how that's changed since my last tests, but it's absolutely affected how I'm living and what's basically a fear of eating like, anything.

What was the name of the first guy/girl you dated? Aaron.

What was the name of the first guy/girl you went out on a date with? Jason.

When was the last time you had a headache? I'm quite positive I actually had a migraine last night. I was basically immobilized in bed by ~6PM and stayed there for the rest of the night, sleeping but waking back up multiple times, and I noticed it didn't respond to the maximum dose of Ibuprofen I took (at least, judging by how quickly it NORMALLY works), only sleep after a good number of hours. I was miserable, and this morning I didn't even wake up 'til around 10 despite lying down super early.

Do you get migraines? They're not a regular thing for me, no, thank fucking goodness. But I've definitely experienced them.

Have you ever had to go to a neurologist? Ye.

How many people do you know who work as hairdressers? List their names. I don't want to reveal the one I've seen since basically being a kid because her name is just really unique, but I also know one my mom sees named Anita. My friend Summer is also good with hair, and Chelsea was (I say "was" because I have no idea what she's up to these days career-wise), too.

Have you ever filmed any TikToks? No.

Have you ever filmed a video for YouTube? DON'T REMIND ME OF THIS LASKDJFAL;KSJD;LKAWJELKR

If you could meet any one YouTuber, which YouTuber would you choose to meet? Would you believe me if my answer was Markiplier lmfao

Do you have any stomach issues? Yes, basically all the women in my family have gastrointestinal issues, oddly enough.

When was the last time you had pizza? It was a good few days ago when my late grandmother's husband was driving through and stayed the night here as a midway point. He's a New Yorker, so we got (really shitty haha) NY pizza. It was super uncomfortable, they weren't married long and we don't know him well at all, like he's not family to me, but it helped that Girt was actually staying that night too so I felt safer. ... I should mention this 90-something y/o man is not a threat to like, ANYBODY, it's super obvious, but still, I didn't like a man I barely know whatsoever sleeping in the adjacent room from me.

Which name do you like better: Felicity or Fiona? I like both, but I think Felicity.

Can you see a teddy bear from where you’re sitting right now? Yeah, the big one Girt got me for Valentine's, haha. It sits on this chair in the corner that's always in my sight when I sit here, along with the Squishmallow he got me and the plush dog his mom gifted me.

Is anything on your body sore right now? My legs, actually. I think it's because I walked a long way (including up a slope) yesterday during PT progress tests.

Does anyone in your family have diabetes? It runs super heavily in my family, so yes. Mom does, as well as her mega shitty brother, and I'm entirely positive there are others, too. I just don't remember them.

When was the last time you went on a date with someone? Many months ago, Girt and I really don't go out much.

… and what was the name of the person you went out with? Girt.

Does your hair have natural highlights in it? Yeah, slightly lighter browns.

What is one type of fruit that you’d like to try that you’ve never tried before? Dragonfruit. It looks so weird.

Have you ever lived alone? No, and I absolutely, positively never want to. It would be SO unhealthy for me.

Would you rather live alone or with someone? Someone, obviously. I'd be horrifically depressed living alone; I literally already struggle on bad mental health days when Mom isn't home just for most of a single day.

Who was the last person who came to visit you? Girt.

Do you have family that you wish you could see more? Yeah. I basically never see my extended family, ever. I don't even know most of them. My mom's family is primarily in NY and Dad's is in Ohio/Michigan, and only my parents, us three daughters, and Ashley's kids live here in NC. My brother's family is in Tennessee, but you have to keep in mind that NC and TN are very long states, with mountains to traverse between them, so it's not exactly easy or quick to get there.

What was your first job? Sales associate at GameStop. I was the worst salesperson imaginable, lmao. Did not last long, and yet it was the longest job I had anyway.

Have you ever gone to the emergency room having a severe allergic reaction? No, thank god.

Who was the last music artist you listened to a song by? oh you know,,,,,,,,,,, this band I'm REALLY normal about,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Have you driven anywhere today? Nah. It's been super gross out today anyway.

Where did you get your favorite pet from? My favorite pet of all-time? Teddy came from the friend of a family friend, whose dog had a massive litter of puppies and needed homes. Lolita knew my parents were looking for a puppy for the family.

Have you ever called animal control on anyone? No.

What are your plans for the coming weekend? I'm certain we'll go to Ashley's for Easter, watch the kids do their egg hunt. I know Mom has baskets for the kids, too.

Is there someone who would support you no matter what? I mean, I would HOPE nobody. I don't want my loved ones to be supportive of me like, committing a murder. I don't believe in unconditional loyalty.

Is there any actual chance you could be pregnant right now? No.

Do you still get carded when you try and buy things you’re old enough to? It's super rare I try to, but I haven't been carded for a drink at a restaurant for a few years now, I think.

What was the last movie you saw in theaters? My answer to this has been The Black Phone for... holy shit, I think nearly a year now. I can tell you I am ABSOLUTELY dragging Girt to see the Barbie movie when it comes out though lmfao

Do you think the drinking age in the US should be lowered to 18? No.

Do you know anyone fluent in a really uncommon language? Quite sure no.

Would you rather visit Iceland for a week or Rome for a day? Ohhhhhh don't ask me that!!! I'm a TOTAL sucker for Roman architecture, and there are so many places there I want to see, but I still think Iceland wins. A day is just too short and besides, in general, I find Iceland prettier.

What were you doing at this time yesterday? At the time I'm answering this question, fighting to sleep in bed to get away from that migraine.

Do you believe most people are good people deep down? Most? Yes.

Who was the last person to see you cry? Girt. Not because of something he did, I was just having some personal problems. He was wonderful about it and helped me out of it.

When was the last time you slept in a bed with someone else? A few nights ago when Girt was here.

When was the last time you slept in a bed not your own? A couple months ago or something like that when my mom was doing something with my bed. I slept in hers, and she used the couch pull-out one.

When was the last time you slept on something other than a bed? Months ago on Ashley's couch while babysitting with Mom. I try mega hard to avoid that, because by like, the next day I will be so sore.

Who do you look more like, your dad or your mom? I've heard both, depending on who you ask. I don't know who I look more like, personally.

How do you feel about the last person you shared a kiss with? I love him with all my heart and hope I get to for the rest of my life.

Have you gotten the COVID vaccine? I got the first two doses of Moderna, but not the boosters, even though I should.

Who in your family is or was a marine? I know I have now-deceased men in my family who were, but idr who they were...

What is one thing you wish you hadn’t seen? Certain things Sara has called me since I ended our friendship that had already been dead for months. A couple things she said about me are unfuckingforgivable by me, and even though I know in my core they're false as shit, haunt me anyway because I have a subzero amount of self-esteem.

What is one thing you find serene? Birdsong. I don't get those people that hate hearing birds in the morning.

What are three things you disliked about being a teen? The political and religious morals/values I held then are #1, and then I also DEFINITELY got hit hard with mental illness and its symptoms, and I hated my acne, too.

For support, on whom do you lean? The primary people are my mom, Girt, Mazzy, and Tez. Others do occasionally, but not nearly as regularly as those four people.

Which color do you like better: tangerine or aquamarine? Aquamarine, I actually really like that color.

What is your favorite foreign cuisine? I suppose Italian, although granted I really haven't tried much foreign food.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? No, it actually gives me a bad headache.

Do you prefer towel drying, blow drying, or natural drying your hair? It's a mix of towel-drying and letting it dry naturally.

Have you ever been sledding? Yeah. There was a hill by my old house where our neighbors, my sisters, and I would use for that purpose. I also vaguely remember sledding down a really big hill when we visited my dad's family in Ohio.

Have you ever flown a kite? Yes, I loved to as a kid.

What’s your favorite milkshake flavor? Eh, I suppose chocolate is what I generally go for. But it varies with my mood.

How long can you balance on one foot? I really don't think I can do that yet because of my legs. We're getting there.

Do you have any scars? Yeah, at the very base of my spine (look it's literally at the top of my asscrack lmfao) from a cyst removal; that's probably my worst one, but I can't see it, so. I also have one on my chin, from when I fainted onto the bathroom floor directly onto it. I might still have faint scars on my shins from how I used to scratch them entirely raw after shaving, but I haven't shaved my legs in so long that I don't know and can't really tell with how dark and thick my hair is.

What did you want to be when you grew up? They ranged from paleontologist, vet, author/poet/artist in general, movie director, game designer, wildlife biologist, I had a super brief guitarist stint at the start of high school and an even shorter (and I mean VERY short) music video editor goal, and then the one that's stuck with me is a photographer. I think that's all of them.

How often do you buy new clothes? Extremely, extremely rarely.

Can you solve sudoku puzzles? I know how to play, yeah. I used to like it quite a bit.

What’s the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Who knows, honestly.

Are you much of a gambler? No, that is behavior I never even want to try.

If your parents hated your current lover would you ditch him? My parents love him, but even if they didn't, no.

Do you prefer liquid soap or bar soap? Liquid, I hate bar soaps.

Who was the last person to knock at your door? Uh I think it was the guy yesterday who was doing something with our fire alarms and ceiling fans.

What’s the last thing you took a picture of? The azaleas growing beside our house. They're gorgeous.

Which is better: Mario or Sonic? Mario; I was never a Sonic fan. I'm not big into Mario either, though.

[iwadori]

Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.

Word Count:3k 

genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.

Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,

Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time

“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.

Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?

Y/N: Of course I will 

Kenma: Ok talk to you later

Y/N: okayy <3

Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 

You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.

As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.

You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..

@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr

“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.

You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?

You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 

Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,

Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?

Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?

Kenma: y/n r u ok??

Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..

Kenma: oh ok..

Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 

You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.

You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.

However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 

So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.

“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice

“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”

“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 

“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”

“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”

“What why?” Asked Kenma

Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 

“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”

“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo

You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.

“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”

“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him

“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”

You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”

Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 

He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 

“What are you do-” you start 

“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak

 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”

You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”

“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 

“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk

Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 

Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.

Kuroo:

Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 

You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)

Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.

20%

You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.

This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.

As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 

“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 

“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 

“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.

Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 

His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.

You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.

Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?

Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??

Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 

Y/N: Pleaseeee

Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help

Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 

So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 

“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked

“umm... COO?” 

“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not

You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.

“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”

“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.

“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks

“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”

“Y/N I-” he starts 

“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off

“But I-” he tries

“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words

“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.

Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 

You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,

Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 

Kuroo: Good luck Y/N

You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.

Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.

When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.

“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.

“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say

“Kuroo”

“Y/N”

You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”

Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.

“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 

Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.

“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling

In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.

AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?

[mackeydoodledoo]

I Only Swim Free: Chapter 1

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’ve done swimming all your life. You’ve gotten to your dream college on a scholarship for your outstanding freestyle technique back in high school. Relationships never crossed your mind however, that was before you met your swim team captain: Bela Dimitrescu.

Warning: Awkwardness, fluff; not really warnings but might as well leave them here

A/N: Another original idea from @su-lilly-reblogs because I’m running out of ideas to make stories for our lovely women. Also, this is a series! Originally this was going to be a one-story thing however, I was moving for this to be a series! So, Enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You step out into the floor, all eyes become glued onto you. Although you’ve felt confident in the beginning when you got your acceptance letter and scholarship to attend your dream college and get accepted into the 5-time state champion swim team. What you didn’t expect was your captain. 

“Y/n Y/l/n,” she smiles, “Bela Dimitrescu, captain of the Dimitrescu University Swim Team. They told me that we’re getting a rookie. I’m impressed you got a scholarship too.”

“Well, great to be here,” You lightly chuckle, trying to not gawk too much

“Bela you should have her do initiation,” one of the team members says

All of the other current members began agreeing to the idea as well.

Your heart dropped. 

Initiation? Why haven’t I heard about this one? Is it one of those kinds where it’ll just catch you off guard? 

“Oh don’t worry little dolphin,” Bela smiles, taking notice of your change in expression

“It’s just where you show off your swimming skills,” another one of the members call out, “Nothing to worry about! If you got a scholarship for this, then you must be one of the best swimmers back in high school!”

Oh, well that helps a lot.. But in front of all of these really experienced college-level swimmers? Especially in front of the captain? Gah... Guess I have no choice... Plus, I wasn’t one of the best swimmers in high school.

You place your swim bag onto the bench closest to you, however, reaching into it to grab your swim cap and goggles. You put your swim cap on and begin walking toward one of the stands to leap off of to initiate your swimming style.

“So, what’s your swimming style?” another member asks you

“I only swim free,” You say, monotonous, getting up onto the stand.

I’ve never heard of one of my girls saying she only swims free... She’s already  impressive.

Bela smiles slightly. 

“Just do three laps y/n, ready,” Bela announces

Bela watches you lift your butt toward her. Bela begins blushing. 

Girl’s ripped... God what am I thinking?!

A beep sound goes off and you launch yourself into the water. With ease, your form dives into the water with no resistance. One stroke after the other, Bela watches in awe as your muscles flex each time you lift them above the water. The girls watched you in amazement as to how fast you were able to move in the water, despite how the water would often move against your body whilst swimming.

Impress them y/n. You’re almost there...

You could feel your lungs beginning to burn as you were halfway back around the third lap.

Go beyond your limit y/n....

Your palm plants itself along the wall of where you launched yourself. You take in a deep breath as you almost ran out on the last stretch. You remove your goggles from your eyes and look up; Bela holding out her hand towards you. You grab onto it as she helps you out of the pool.

“That was insane y/n, how’d you do it?” One of the team members asks

“I’ve swam all my life,” You say, chuckling, “Also, my family helped me build muscle for it.”

You look around and your eyes land on Bela, coincidentally hers land on you as well. She gives you a wink before she begins walking away, approaching whom you believed was the coach. You think nothing of it before you’re dragged back further into the pool area by everyone else. You just answer as many questions as you can.

“I also swim freestyle but I don’t think I’d ever be able to swim that fast,” One member states

“Well, I’m not sure how much I can tell you, because it’s also in your willpower to tell yourself to keep going,” You add

“Okay okay give our rookie some air,” the coach comes along, “I’m coach Donna Beneviento. I welcome you to the Dimitrescu University Swim Team. Practice begins tomorrow at 6pm sharp. We practice every Monday and Thursday, same time.”

After practice, your new teammates had made their leave to deal with the academic aspect of college. You step out of the changing room in front of the shower in some shorts and a sports bra. However, right from across you Bela steps out of the shower as well; only wrapped in a towel. You feel your cheeks heat up before the both of you had to forcefully look away from each other. However, you couldn’t help but catch one more glance. You didn’t want to help it at all though. 

“S-sorry Captain,” You say, walking yourself over to the mirrors

"Bela,” she says, “It’s after practice. You may call me Bela after practice.”

“You sure?” you ask, scuffing your hair to look slightly messy

From the mirror’s reflection, you, again couldn’t help but look up to admire Bela’s figure however, you didn’t realize that she had let her towel fall to her ankles. So you were basically seeing her bare naked.

“Oh my god!” You yell, startling Bela

“What?!” She asks, turning to look at you through the mirror

“I’m sorry,” You clear your throat, trying to not make eye contact with her, “I thought I saw something on the mirror.”

You try your best to hide your deep red cheeks from Bela’s view.

“Have you never seen a naked woman?” She asks, finally slipping on some of her clothing

“Not-not really,” You stutter

“Hope that was a good show for you,” Bela teases

Oh shit... She knew I looked at her naked arse didn’t she?...

“Shit,” Bela growls

“What’s the matter?” You ask her, turning to her, finally getting the oxygen you needed to breathe when you noticed her having clothing on

“I thought I packed a hoodie,” She sighs

Your hand immediately dives into your duffle bag and you managed to pull out a hoodie from it.

“See if this’ll fit,” You say, “If it fits, it’s yours.”

You watch her take your band hoodie and put it over her. It was slightly bigger on her however you couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

“What?” Bela smiles, hoisting her backpack over her shoulder

“N-nothing,” You clear your throat once more, “You look good in it is all.”

“You think so?” Bela asks, blushing

“For sure,” You smile

The both of you exit the locker room and begin making your way out to the parking lot. 

“Hey, can I ask you a weird question?” Bela asks

“Sure,” You say

“How did you get so ripped?” She asks

“Oh- I- uhhh...” You begin

Bela giggles at your response to her compliment.

“I- perks of having your family own a gym,” You say, “They practically trained me since wanting to do swimming. If you want to work out with me sometime, I could pull some strings and get you to be a guest with my membership. If that’s something you’d be interested in.”

“I’d like that sometime y/n,” Bela smiles

“By the way, would you wat to- I don’t know- maybe-”

Before you could finish your question, a car pulls up in front of the both of you. You watch the window roll down and see a male in the driver’s seat. 

“Hey babe,” He says, smiling, “Who’s the kid?”

“She’s the newest member to our swim team,” She says, getting into the passenger seat, “Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow after classes y/n.”

Your heart sank as you watched the car drive off... After all of that flirting with her in the locker room... 

If she has a boyfriend.... Then what the absolute hell was that in the locker room? 

However, you don’t linger on it as you get into your own vehicle. Although you had just gotten out of a long practice day, you hook up your music to your car’s radio and input directions to where your family runs the gym you had mentioned to Bela. Surprisingly, the gym your family runs is 10 minutes out of the campus.

“Hey kiddo,” Your dad says as he watches you enter the gym, “How was your first day of practice?” 

“Oh, it was great,” You exaggerate, “Everyone was kind of impressed with my swimming technique. I guess those training sessions with you are beginning to pay off pops.”

“See,” He says, smiling, “Are you going to be home for dinner tonight?” 

“No, I gotta head back to my apartment after this one,” You reply, “I want to get ready for my first day of classes tomorrow.”

You had managed to find an apartment close to campus that was affordable. you weren’t about to find a roommate and live in a building with shitty water supply.

“Fair enough,” He says, “Well, help yourself kiddo. Gym’s nearly empty today.”

He was right; at most there was five people in the entirety of the gym. Normally, it would nearly be packed. You just assumed people had lives outside of the gym. You did too, but you felt something in you that you did not enjoy feeling. You began punching the life out of a punching bag, hoping it would get your frustrations out.

Are we jealous? Why? She has a boyfriend, you shouldn’t be complaining.

You were also confused, why Bela had given you “a show” in the locker room, talking to you nearly all of practice.... You were a rookie and she was the Captain... 

When you had finished your workout, you went back to your apartment. You decided to make a late night snack as you felt famished after workout. You put in your earbuds to try and get your thoughts away from your encounter with Bela’s boyfriend earlier.

“Shower” - Crimson Apple

It gave you a nice chill evening vibe. However, although it helped very little, you still couldn’t help but be confused on what happened to you earlier today. However, once you looked at the time, you finish up your small meal and head off to bed, hoping the day’s classes are able to get your mind off of your confused self. 

Throughout the day, you could only think about what happened yesterday between you and Bela in the locker room through your music. You also couldn’t wait to get in the water after your classes, as the song you were listening to was used in a Swimming sport-themed anime.

“Splash Free” - Style5

You cross the street and come across a castle-like building.

“Is this- the art building?” You ask yourself, “My lord this place is gigantic.”

As you enter the building, you were in awe, even the interior was regal. However, with some modern modifications. Like the elevator, you press the upward arrow button and the elevator doors open. You step in and press the number ‘4′, hence you were going to the fourth floor. Your major is Photography with a minor in Asian studies, concentration in Japanese. As you get out of the elevator, you begin heading to your last class of the day. You were more of a morning person. Thus, you had all of your classes before 6pm. 

Chapter 2

[canonicallysoulmates]

Just saw your post about the post phase 1 Marvel movies and the meme you used for CA:CW. So I'm here to ask and get you cancelled. What did you think about the movie? Are you Team Stark or Team Rogers?

........................................................I knew this day would come......okay, let's get me cancelled!

I hate this movie, I hate this movie with every fiber of my being. Watching it was torture, it as the longest 20hrs of my life. It was like living out one of those very confusing math problems I started this movie at 10am somehow 6pm rolls around and there are still 2hrs left! Coño cómo?! I watched this with my mom, and when we checked how much time was left we were left looking at each other like 'que carajo what twilight zone bullshit is this?' It's one of those Marvel movies that I am so glad I did not waste my money on, I wish I could get a refund for my time but I made my choice and I shall now have to deal with it.

I hate this movie for many reasons but I'm not gonna make y'all wait any longer for what you're really here for because I know what y'all really want to know is whether I am Team Iron Man or Team Captain America. When it comes to the political aspects ie. the Accords, I am Team Neither.

Now, I cannot get into a comprehensive debate about the Accords because the writers did a shitty ass job, in a 2 and a 1/2 hour movie that felt like a lifetime, at explaining what exactly the Accords are in the movie universe. Emphasis on the movie universe, because I have seen debates go on in this motherfucking fandom where some people will bring up aspects from the comics Registration Acts but we're not talking about the comics okay, we're talking about the movies! And they're two fucking different things! And the movie did a shitty ass job at explaining what the Accords are, and that's one of the reasons I hate this movie: that it's so badly written.

But back to the point, which is where I stand on the teams when it comes to the politics, I am Team Neither because ultimately they were both idiots on how they handled this, and I think they both have good points like yes the Avengers and other superheroes should 100% be held accountable if they fuck up, the fact that they are superheroes and the "good guys" doesn't mean that their actions shouldn't have consequences but at the same time Steve's mistrust of the government and concerns that the team and others could be weaponized are also valid so I think they both have good points when it comes down to it and the smart thing to do - and in my opinion what would have made a much better film- would have been to come together and make like a counterproposal, decide on amendments, try to ensure they can get a representative so they have a voice on the table.

So, there you go when it comes to the Accords I am Team Neither however when it comes to the characters and their actions I am 1,000% Team Tony. At the end of the day he wanted to do what was best for both people and for his team, he wanted to keep the team together because he knew they were stronger together, and he was thinking long term not short term.

And then there's Steve who is an asshole in this film and completely lacks self awareness, cause there's a scene in the film after they've found out about the Accords where Steve goes "that's because he already made up his mind" about Tony and I'm just like bitch so did you, pot meet kettle, Rogers you knew from the get go that you weren't going to sign those papers don't go acting different and then like- here's the thing Steve has some very good points when it comes to the Accords but one of his points is that the UN is filled with people with agendas and agendas change which true but also motherfucker you yourself have an agenda! The whole Sokovia mess is an example that they cannot be trusted to hold themselves or each other accountable because inevitably the time will come where they'll want to protect their team mate like we see in this movie Steve do with Bucky, or how he wanted to protect Wanda because he looks at her as if she were a child not an adult. Steve, you lot are not exempt from having your own agendas and biases.

And through pretty much the entire movie, he has this whole my way or the highway attitude like this man does not know the meaning of compromise in this film, and he has such tunnel vision for Bucky- and listen! listen, listeeeeeen, I get it, I don't judge Steve for making his bestie a priority; I understand that Bucky is incredibly important to Steve, that he's the one person who's gonna look at him as just Steve and not as the Steve Rogers, I get that he carries a guilt over what happened to his friend, I understand he misses him, I understand all of that and respect the ride or die game but goddamn he was so focused on being a good friend to Bucky that he forgot about everyone and everything else and was a shit friend to Tony.

Actually a lot of people in this film were shit to Tony for no goddamn reason but Steve was such a shitty friend not telling Tony about his parents, that was a shitty ass thing to do and listen! I know what some of y'all are thinking you're thinking some version of 'he wanted to protect Tony' shut the fuck up. No, no, that's an excuse and it's a cheap one, you know damn well that was a shitty thing for Steve to do and y'all know damn well you would have reacted the same way Tony did if someone who you thought was your goddamn friend knew about something horrible that happened to people that were important to you and they never told you; that kind of shit hurts, and finding out someone you thought of as a friend doesn't care about you as much as you care about them hurts.

And y'all know goddamn well how emotions work, you know emotions aren't gonna wait for the rational brain to kick in don't some of y'all go playing dumb as if you didn't know this shit. Same way deep down all of y'all know Tony was holding his punches, that man gave Thanos a fight and got some blood if he had wanted to kill Bucky he would have. Don't none of y'all motherfuckers try to play games and act like you don't know this info.

Steve was a shit friend to Tony. Period. The least he could have done is have some empathy or compassion towards Tony when he saw his parent's being killed- and I swear to motherfucking god to the person who is getting close to their keyboard thinking of saying he showed compassion by not killing him back the fuck away from your motherfucking keyboard what did I tell you about playing stupid, this is properly tagged, stay in your fucking lane. Some of y'all be acting as if it were still 2016 and we're gonna be talking about that too, anon wanted my opinion on this film so now I'm going off.

Back to what I was saying, in some ways Steve wasn't a perfect friend to Bucky either cause he kept looking at Bucky and thinking of the guy he used to know but Bucky's not that person anymore, he's been through a lot of shit and it feels at times like Steve didn't fully realize that.

I hate Steve in this movie, I wanna punch him in the throat; he's an ass, he thinks he's above the rules, he's unaware of his own flaws, he might be a good friend to Bucky but that's it. I don't blame Steve though I blame the writers cause they're the ones who wrote him this way; moving on from Steve, I wanna talk about Wanda real quick, I don't hate the character of Wanda but I do hate the way she was written in this film, I hate that the writers expect us as an audience to look at this adult and think of her as a defenseless child who should be exempt from consequences, I hate that instead of actually doing something with her and exploring some interesting dynamics they just give her an AI boyfriend and a pinterest quote which sounds nice but falls flat especially considering she says said quote as she uses her powers (which is what people are afraid of) to send her love interest down several floors of a building. They could have done so many cool and interesting things with her, shame they didn't.

Another thing I hate about this film is what it did to the fandom, and how it was promoted because it was very much promoted as a pick your fighter, pick a side type of movie and after this movie came out I feel like the divide between Tony fans and Steve fans grew toxically and the effects are still seen to this day like some people really do be acting as if it were still 2016 and attacking others for what side they went with or for who their fav between the two is, and I'll be very honest a lot of the hate I have seen has been directed towards Tony and Tony fans. I hate that, I hate when TPTB deliberately pits fans against each other cause it just encourages a toxic environment.

Let me think was there anything that I liked about this film- wait, oh my god talking about all these other things I hate almost made me forget the thing I hate the most about this movie: it's pointless. Its existence is unnecessary; the biggest aspect of this film isn't the politics of the Accords, it's Steve and Bucky and how far Steve is willing to go for Bucky and have him by his side...but Endgame exists. The end of Endgame turns this film pointless, because the only true point of this movie is the relationship between Steve and Bucky that's the biggest takeaway from the whole thing, but then you have the end of Endgame where Steve just leaves Bucky.

I hated this film before I saw Endgame but after.....I never plan to watch Civil War again but if I did I'm pretty sure I'd self combust cause I'd be so angry I'd scream every time Steve appeared cause that son of a bitch ends up leaving; tears the whole team apart only to end up leaving his friend behind in the end.

I hate this film, I hate everything about it, well that's not true I love the Tony and Peter stuff, but aside from a couple of things I hate this movie, someone give me time stone I'm eliminating it from the timeline.

So, there you go those are my thoughts on CA: CW.

In conclusion, I am Team Neither on the Accords, Team Tony on everything else, Steve I still like you but this movie demoted you in my eyes and makes me wanna punch you in the throat.

[v-hope]

—Hobi’s Girl

after attending a bts concert and very clearly catching one of the members’ attention, you can’t help but get flooded with hate comments once people find your twitter account. who would’ve thought that would be the reason jung hoseok would find his concert girl, too.

pairing: jung hoseok x army!reader

genre: social media au, fluff, crack, angst

status: completed

updates: wednesdays and saturdays between 5 and 6pm est!

keys:

✏️ written part

✒️ drabble after the texts

tag list: CLOSED

a/n: hello! this is my first time ever doing this so i’m sorry if it’s shitty 🤧 but i got this idea and i really like it, so i hope you do too and please let me know what you think! 💞

🌻 part one - profiles

🌻 part two - noticed by The Mans

🌻 part three - mang headband girl

🌻 part four - i’m slapping you

🌻 part five - i knew it wasn’t me

🌻 part six - nooo don’t fight

🌻 part seven - notice me again senpai

🌻 part eight - rumor has it

🌻 part nine - y/n’s your girl

🌻 part ten - @ [redacted]

🌻 part eleven - we lost him pt.2

🌻 part twelve - whipped

🌻 part thirteen - anyway... selfie? 🥺

🌻 part fourteen - let’s go out tonight

🌻 part fifteen ✏️ - mint choco

🌻 part sixteen - we?

🌻 part seventeen ✒️ - i’m staying here

🌻 part eighteen - packing ✈️

🌻 part nineteen - the L word

🌻 part twenty - sad and turned on

↳ bonus - i don’t take it back

🌻 part twenty one ✏️ - enamoured

🌻 part twenty two - j-hope can’t stop us

🌻 part twenty three - rip mang 😔💔

🌻 part twenty four - you can trust him

🌻 part twenty five - broken friendships

🌻 part twenty six ✒️ - oxygen? idk her

🌻 part twenty seven - whiny thinkerbell

🌻 part twenty eight - guess what

🌻 part twenty nine ✒️ - i want a divorce

🌻 part thirty - soulmate senses

🌻 part thirty one - wish you were here

🌻 part thirty two - i miss you

🌻 part thirty three - hobi and y/n

🌻 part thirty four - leave her out of this

🌻 part thirty five - the kpop guy

↳ bonus - who’s [redacted] :(

🌻 part thirty six - block her number

🌻 part thirty seven - another lawsuit

🌻 part thirty eight - gotta go kill a snake

🌻 part thirty nine ✏️ - you and i

🌻 part forty - no more @hobisyn

🌻 part forty one ✒️ - priceless

🌻 part forty two - i’ll let him live

🌻 part forty three - one year

🌻 epilogue ✒️ - yes

more bonus parts because why not:

🌻 bonus one ✏️ - better namjoon-ie than that hasung guy

🌻 bonus two - mint choco lips

🌻 bonus three - baby mincho

🌻 bonus four - q&a

[tothemeadow]

Okay so here's what happened. Please try to ignore any typos cuz just thinking about it raises me blood pressure. My nice roommate will be called c and the crazy one will be called e.

Last weekend c told me she was leaving for the weekend so I told her I would lock the deadbolt in case that man tried to come back. That Saturday, because my sleep schedule is fucked I slept till 6pm. When I woke up I had 2 missed calls, 2 voice mails, and a text from e asking me to unlock the "top lock" the messages were sent around 3 so by the time I was up I knew she was long gone. I unlocked the lock and slept with my travel lock on my door.

That Monday when I got off work around midnight I opened the door and e was sitting there. She said we need to talk. I said there was nothing to talk about. She asked my why the deadbolt was locked and I said "CUZ THE LAST TIME A RANDOM ASS DUDE WALKED IN!" her excuse was that if he didn't threaten me it was fine. I told her that wasn't the point. I also told her that it makes no sense that you texted me about the door but not that he was coming over. Or that you JUST met him online and you don't even know him and you still tried to let him live here. Even though it was dangerous. Even though I said no. Even though it's a lease violation.

I told her that I especially knew she didn't know him that long because she chose to live with 3 other girls instead of just getting a studio. She told me "well I could ask you the same thing. You make so much money why are you still here." I had to remind her that my family does not support me like hers does and that I'm a college student so I don't make shit. I pay more bills than she ever has and barely keep my head above Water. I also told her that just because I have to put up with your actions doesn't mean that you don't have to deal with the consequences of your actions. I told you what they would be and you still didn't listen. You're just not used to consequences because you're spoiled and privileged.

She told me that what I did was illegal. I had to remind her that he was trespassing and that in the state of Texas I could have shot him dead and there wouldn't be a damn thing she could do about it. Even with her permission to Enter she would of had to be with him in the apartment. So no he was trespassing. Only she can just enter like that. They don't have laundry machine so she comes weekly to do both their laundry and our dryer doesn't have a working timer so he came to get them so they wouldn't start a fire basically. I told her that if she wasn't acting stupid she would have that problem. She could have texted me to stop it but she didn't. She's not transparent at all. I don't even know the dudes name, how old he is, etc.

She told me that the office asked to do a roommate "remediation" which is basically just us talking with a third present and she didn't want to start a "he said she said". But she said she decided to speak with me personally. I told her the reason she did that was because she didn't know that I showed the office her text messages and that they already knew what was going on so there was no "he said she said" because I had proof of what she was doing. I told her that I'd never locked that door before she pulled that shit and me and c were having to lock it. I told her it wouldn't happen again and that she needed to get the fuck out And none of this shit matters since she's gone next month.

The Thing about meeting random dudes online period is that they always act one way till they cant get anything from you. My mom did it and one of my friends did it and now they're in shitty relationships. And the relationship started out cute and sweet and developed into hell. I told her she can do what she wants but she needs to learn not to affect other people, cuz that's when you get in trouble.

Sorry for the long rant. But hopefully that will be the last one.

I guess simple human decency is beyond her, huh. I feel like things could have turned out a little bit better if she simply told you what was going on? Like a “hey there’s this one guy gonna pick up his laundry so don’t worry” call or text would have been leagues better. And if she chooses to ruin her life with this one guy… Well, that’s on her, you know?

[tendoki]

hug prompt 5 with tendouuuu

┏━━━━━━•❅•°•❈•°•��•━━━━━━┓

angy tendou kinda makes me 😳 ngl. this has a lot of build up? I left the ending VAGUE because it just seemed right yanno? this was fun and cute to write though :)

┗━━━━━━•❅•°•❈•°•❅•━━━━━━┛

Tendou . S - Snapmaps

-> genre: comfort

-> prompt: angry hug (not at eachother)

-> warnings: swearing, reader is lowkey horny for tendou, again I wrote this at 5am and projected my thirst onto y/n so my bad lollll, bad grammar maybe?? dunno

not sponsored by snapchat <3

He was pissed off.

Like, super pissed off. You could see it in the way his shoulders were tensed and how his leg bounced under the desk, the furrow of his brows and dark lines under his eyes screamed 'i am three minutes away from committing a murder'. His breathing seemed to be heavier too; and you guessed you wouldnt get much of a chance to talk to him once class was over if the way his eyes seemed to flicker to the clock every few seconds was any indication.

You werent anyone particularly close to Tendou Satori, though you'd consider the two of you friends if asked. In truth, you never thought you would get this far with him, the guy seemed to disregard anything that his teammates werent already fond of; you were lucky, in a sense, that as Goshiki's tutor you were deemed worthy of his attention.

Of course, occasionally your mind would slip, sliding down a dangerous path of 'what if?'s and 'why not?'s. Tendou was attractive, in that weird way, where your friends sorta make fun of you for liking him, before they turn and take a second look themselves. He intrigued you, the way he was so observant as to even bag a friendship with the ever elusive Ushijima kun.

You supposed that's why you bothered to chase him after class ended.

You had lost him pretty quickly though, thinking about it, you seriously wondered how in the hell you could lose a six foot, two inch, scarlet haired loudmouth like Tendou, as if slipping into a crowd and being invisible was something he was used to (something else to add onto the 'Mysteries of T.S' list you had compiled).

After escaping the crowd and seeing no sign of him outside, you relented, recognising that this was a losing battle. With a huff, you pulled out your phone to check his snap maps; he'd always turn them on once he got into school, claiming that it was to make sure if he skipped practice then Semi could track him down and beat his ass with no hassle.

Ramen shop

For the better, you were starving anyway. immediately picking up the pace, you took the 10 minute walk it would take to get there.

how did he manage to go so fast? damn him and his stupid long legs

You arrived, and the place looked empty, probably because of the sign on the door, stating that it was closed for the day. Looking down at your phone again, you confirmed that this was the right address, seeing your own bitmoji stood near Tendou's.

Then the door opened, Tendou, in all of his sweaty, (guess he mustve ran) brilliance, looked you up and down, an action you're ashamed to admit caused a jolt in your stomach. He looked suprised to see you here, but seeing your phone lit up with the familiar interface of Snapchat maps, he smirked.

"What brings you here?"

He sounded amused, though you could still hear his aggravation in how throaty his voice was, you werent used to hearing him speak so roughly, and part of you wondered what it would take to hear that kind of tone from him more.

"You uh seemed pissed off earlier, in class? and I wanted to check up on you. Why... are you in an empty, closed ramen shop?"

"Family owned joint, 's empty 'cause we're closed, and its closed 'cause it's empty"

"Doesn't closing it because its empty make for bad business practice? you're not even giving people a chance to enter, Tendou"

He jolted at this, you were usually so formal and appropriate with him, that hearing you challenge his logic so openly and speak without honorifics was unexpected; his shoulders sagged a little, tension easing from his body as a bemused smile made it's way across his face.

"Huh, guess you're right. Well, since ya here how 'bout coming in and taste testing some of our food before we open to the public again, for safety", the last line was spoken differently, as if he was daring you to say yes, like agreeing on a totally-not-date with Tendou Satori would be the worst mistake of your life.

So, naturally, you bit right back.

"You askin' me on a date now, Satori?", using him first name was dangerous, but you figured he'd get the message that you were trying to be playful, while giving him the ultimate choice of what would happen next.

Once again he was taken aback, before another sag of his shoulders and spread of a smile took over his body; he wasted no time in gently grabbing you by the elbow and ushering you inside.

The interior was gorgeously decorated, the tables scrubbed clean and the whole place smelt like heaven, Tendou sat you down on the nearest chair and rushed off to the back, promising to make you a ramen anyone would consider to be 'better than sex'

It was an hour later you still sat in the shop, laughing with Tendou about whatever tiktok trend he had roped his team into this week, you had texted your parents to let them know you were with a friend, not keen on making them worry and get the entirety of the Miyagi police force interrupting your totally-is-a-date.

Things were quiet for a moment, as you sat and drank some pop Tendou had offered you. You took the silence as an opportunity to appreciate the view; Tendou Satori, in the golden light of a 6pm sun, with his hair down in sweatpants and a graphic tee designed off of one of his favourite anime. You had been nervous when he excused himself to change and 'let his hair relax', but now thanked every and any god in existence for giving you the chance to see him looking so dearly delectable.

Your thought process was disrupted, however, when your eye candy spoke;

"Thanks. For coming, I mean. I've had a pretty shitty day and it means a lot to be sat here joking around with you"

He smiled at you, an intimate one, not mocking or sardonic in anyway, you, of course, locked this moment into your mind, committing the gentle red of his bitten and chapped lips, sloping so carefully, to memory.

Then you registered his words, your brows pinching together in concern, as you reached across and grabbed his hand.

"You wanna talk about it? I'm here to listen and I dont have anywhere to be for the time being"

He looked shocked for a moment, scanning your face to maybe check if this was some cruel joke, like he was going to start telling you and you'd laugh and walk away. After a few moments had passed of him studying your expression, he turned, heaving a sigh and standing up to go to the back, presumably preparing another two bowls of ramen.

He returned not long after, placing the bowls on your table, he began pacing, annoyance rushing back to him as he recalled what had him wound up so tightly earlier.

"... and now he's back in town! God, whatever, I just hope his stupid ass doesnt end up in the same classes as me, I dont wanna see that prick's face again", he had been bullied as a child it seemed, a detail that explained most of the contents in your list of Tendou mysteries, the bully was back in town, and your companion had ran into him when he had left school grounds for a moment; it seemed the boy's attitude had not changed, he had recognised Tendou and began layering on the taunts once more.

He was mad again, you could see it in how his shoulders tensed and his mouth now curled into an ugly sneer while venting.

You sighed before standing up, he needed some comfort, and the worst that could happen is that he pushes you away. You could always just excuse it by saying you have an affectionate family or friend group, and that it's just nature by now to give someone a hug when they're upset. Though there was every reason to think that he wouldnt fall for that, and you could make him uncomfortable. After such a huge leap in your progress with him, taking such a big risk is hardly smart or sensible-

fuck it.

But before you could move, his arms instead encased you. His body shook with brimming rage as he burrowed his head into the crook of your neck, bending awkwardly to properly reach. Hesitantly, you reached your arms up, one hand going to rub circles across his back and the other pulling and playing with the red locks of hair by the nape of his neck. The two of you stayed like that for a while, you leaning on the table once your legs got too wobbly to be trusted. Every so often you'd press a kiss to his shoulder, letting him know that you were accepting his affection wholeheartedly, not just reciprocating out of pity.

Despite the hug lasting longer than any other hugs you had given to friends and family, it still felt like it was too soon as Tendou began to pull away, standing back to his full height, though, his arms remained around you.

"Thanks, I needed that"

"yeah, uh, no problem, Tendou kun"

[theastrophilearchitect]

I started writing a book.

And I’m mad about it, because I just started this post, brought up a new tab and lost it because I didn’t save my draft.

Anyway. That’s a thing I did. Wow.

As of this moment, this post won’t be going up until April 19th, but I’m starting writing this at 10.30pm on Sunday, February 21st, 2021. I’ve done a lot in the last couple weeks, and I want to have some record of all I’ve accomplished without just letting most of it fade over the next two months.

I’ve always wanted to be an author. From when I was reading under my covers with a torch past bedtime, through the years I wanted to be an artist, through the years I wanted to be a lawyer. It’s always been there - no matter what primary career path I went down, I wanted to be an author. The last few years, I’ve been invested in becoming a biologist, and that dream really took a backseat.

In the start of this lockdown, my mental health went downhill, and some advice my therapist gave me was just to prioritise myself. It sounds simple enough, but, even in my free time, I’d been focusing on schoolwork - revising constantly for exams I’m still not sure are actually happening. (Boris Johnson is apparently making an announcement tomorrow about beginning to ease lockdown, but we’ll see) So, on Saturday, February 6th, I started an attempt to coalesce the ideas I had floating in my head into something tangible.

I’ve tried to write books countless times (not technically countless - I have all the documents on my laptop, so I could if I wanted to), but mostly, I’ve never gotten further than a couple bare plot points and some characters, maybe some ideas for subplots, before I’ve stagnated and given up.

Three times, I’ve finished a skeletal outline. Twice, I’ve started to go back over those outlines only to realise they made no sense or just seemed week, and simply not cared enough to fix it. Until now, I guess.

February 6th, 7th, and fast-forward to my week off beginning the 15th, up until the 19th, I kept developing this concept I’d managed to form, but I was struggling to establish a coherent plot. I had up until and including a midpoint (which was later condensed into just a first act), but everything after that was just a void. I began searching for some skeletal structure I could apply to it, both to work on pacing and fill in the blanks. I tried several, and got a little further, but was about to give up hope.

Then I remembered a video by Katytastic I’d watched years ago about the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter structure she used, and couldn’t see the harm in giving it a go. And something clicked.

You can find the video here - the structure’s detailed and easy to follow, plus she even gives an example of using it to generate a plot.

I started binge-watching her writing vlogs in the background, and even started using her same writing program, Scrivener, which just made every a thousand times easier by taking away the need to juggle a billion Word documents. It’s fairly pricey, but I’m currently using the 30-day free trial - it’s 30 days of use, not of ownership, too: if you use it every day, it lasts 30 days, but if you use it once a week, it lasts 30 weeks.

Where Kat used the 27 parts the structure broke down into as chapters, I chose to refer to them as beats, and separate chapters later.

On Saturday the 20th, I finished defining my scenes and started writing an actual draft. I wrote two scenes, putting me at a collective word count (not including notes, synopses, etc.) of 2,580 words.

This morning, Sunday the 21st, I started over. I hated my opening. I’m not going to go through the mess of today’s process, but I currently have around 80 one-line-outline scenes, split into 3 acts. I wrote a draft of my prologue and detailed-outlined (which I’m mentally referring to as zero-outlining because it’s similar to how Katytastic does what she calls a zero draft, but is very much outlining, not a draft) two and a half other chapters. Scriver also tells me how many words I wrote in total, across notes, character profiles, location lists, a document I’ve named ‘Train of Thought’ for my ramblings as I go etc.

Today, I wrote a grand total of 4,141 words, which, rather counterintuitively, puts me at a draft total of 2,598. That makes sense. Anyway.

There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have no idea how much time I’ll have in the next six months to invest in this project, but I’d like, at bare minimum, to have one complete draft by the start of the next school year in September, which gives me just over 6 months. Which is probably too much time to actually motivate myself, but that’s not the point.

A manuscript needs to have a minimum word count of 50K words to be considered a novel, so, even though my ultimate goal for this project is around 80K words, 50K is going to be my goal for this draft.

I’m being optimistic about sticking with this.

Tuesday 23/02/2021 - Word Count: 3,099 I wrote nothing yesterday; planning to focus writing solely on days off rather than work days, but last night, watching through the incredibly long queue of Alexa Donne writing videos, I came to the conclusion writing every day, even just a little, would be the best way to ensure I keep working on this, so I set myself a goal of just 500 words a day.

Wednesday 24/02/2021 - Word Count: 5,350 After doing a little bit of maths as to how long this outlining and draft would take me if I were to only write 500 words a day, I decided to boost that goal to 1,000. I got started around 1pm today, online school draining me so much I couldn’t face another two hours. I worked on and off until 6pm, and around 4.45pm, I finished outlining Act One!

Thursday 25/02/2021 - Word Count: 7,022 I continued my scene outlining into Act Two, but I hit a brick wall around the midpoint. I have to write chronologically - some people jump around, but I have to write linearly, or it feels like I’m trying to make something in a void. It just doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to get from one scene to the next - there were so many things I needed to establish to get there, but I didn’t want to backtrack. I decided to re-jig the whole thing, but, after dinner, I realised I didn’t have to, and instead, decided to just start a draft, conscious of the things I need to establish as I go.

Friday 26/02/2021 - Word Count: 8,208 Starting draft one, I rewrote the prologue I’d already written, technically putting me to my second draft of it, because I’d been thinking about it for days and just wanted to revisit it, and it was so much better. Then I moved on to chapter one, but decided I wanted to re-jig my chapters. While outlining, I’d split the whole book into only about twenty chapters, but decided to go for shorter ones for more effective divisions of the story. I got most of the way through the first scene of chapter one, but basically ran out of both time and motivation, since I hadn’t heavily outlined that scene. in total, I wrote over 2000 words today, but because I only increased the prologue word count by about 100 words, it didn’t do that much to the total count.

Saturday 27/02/2021 - Word Count: 11,050 I got some chores done Saturday morning and focused on finishing my book so I could include it in my February wrap-up, but I still had time to get some writing done around mid-day. My goal was just to hit 10K this weekend, but I though I could do it in one day. I wrote about 1,000 words before feeling a little word-drained, but took a break for lunch, got back to it and wrote 2,400 words. Though that only added a little over 2,000 to the word count, it took me to 10K! I’m 20% of the way to being able to call it a novel! We’re in quintuple digits!

And then eight hours later, I wrote another thousand words and got to 11K.

Sunday 28/02/2021 - Word Count: 13,722 I spent most of my Sunday morning writing, though it took me more than two hours to write about 1500 words, though it only added about 1100 to my count. I decided to set myself an overall and weekly deadlines to hold myself accountable. Due to the fact I don’t yet have a clue how many words this will work out as, I decided I wanted to have either a complete first draft or 100K words (which I doubt I’ll reach, but it seems like a good way to make myself finish the draft before my deadline) by the end of April. Which works out to a little under 1500 words a day, or just under 11K a week, which is perfectly doable. Bearing in mind my current word count is including outlines, but I still believe in myself.

I wrote another 1600 words later, which took me to 14K, until I deleted the 300 word outline I wrote for one scene, but I worked out my words per day for the next two months with the assumption of a 10K word count as of March 1st and a target of either a complete draft or 100K words by the end of April, so I’m nearly 4,000 words ahead of schedule. Which gives me 6,606 words to write this week, instead of 10,328. (If you couldn’t tell, I like numbers. They just make sense to me.

Monday 01/03/2021 - Word Count: 15,005 I didn’t quite hit my daily goal, but I was completely leached of motivation today, I’m ahead of schedule anyway and I was only under by less than 200 words. It’s alright. But, hey, we hit 15K! Two days after hitting 10K!

Tuesday 02/03/2021 - Word Count: 21,119 This was an insane writing day. My end-of-day target was only 16,480, and that was still ahead of schedule - if I was sticking to the 100K by April 30th, I’d only actually need to be at 12,950 today. This was the best writing day I’ve ever had. I wrote before school and during breaks, which kept both my writing and working momentum up.

I didn’t read a page of my current read, but I wrote a total of 7,681 words and increased my wordcount by 6,114 words, or literally an additional 40.75%. I hit 20K three days after hitting 10K, and am 42.238% of the way to being able to say I wrote a novel, be it a shitty first draft that won’t be complete at 50K words.

I also finished chapter three, which I’ve been working on for three days and came out ~5,000 words, and wrote chapters four and five in their entirety.

Note to self: this is day 10 of vaguely outline-drafting this project.

Wednesday 03/03/2021 - Word Count: 23,364 I've only written 490 words today, as of writing this update, but I just wanted to make note of the fact I've done some calculations, and can reasonably finish my draft this month. I'm still not completely sure how long it'll work out to be, so I can't quite work out my daily words to finish on the 31st, but if I stick to my current 1,475 words a day, I'll hit 63,894 words by the end of the month, which is a little less than I imagine this draft will be, but if I stick to that as a minimum, my first draft won't have to go into April.

I'd like to post this later this week, but I already have a post for this Friday, so God only knows how long this will be by the time it goes up. So far, I've written 1,900 words today, and I don't think I'm out of fuel yet, but I'm stopping because I need to read today, and I'd rather not burn out. I'm over my goal, anyway.

Oh, also, I'm nearly at 25K, which is halfway to a novel, but I haven't broken into Act Two yet, which means this book will be 75K minimum. I'm going to do some maths and work out how many words a day to hit 80K by March 31st. 2,030. That's doable. So I haven't read, but back to writing for like ten minutes.

I've now hit an additional 2,245 words for the day, though I wrote a total of 2,663

Thursday 04/03/2021 - Word Count: 25,415 I've decided to work out how many words I need to write each day to hit 80K by March 31st, and watch the fluctuations. (I like statistics). It should steadily go down throughout the month if I surpass it each day. Today's minimum word count is 2,023, already seven words less than yesterday's. How exciting.

The last scene of Act One was very heavy on world-building I haven't yet figured out, so I stuck what was meant to happen in brackets and just moved on, meaning I have now broken into Act Two!

I think, during the week, I'm going to focus on just meeting my minimum word count rather than exceeding it, just to save fuel for the weekends, when I can write so many more words.

And, we hit 25K! I'm halfway to a novel!

Friday 05/03/2021 - Word Count: 26,693 In complete honesty, I'm beginning to lose momentum. Maybe it's just today, but I don't really want to write and feel like I need a break, but I'm going to make myself write anyway. I'm going to make myself keep writing until this draft is done, however shitty it may end up. I really hate first drafts.

When you say 2,000 words is only 7-8 pages, it doesn't sound like that much to write per day but my god. Luckily, most of the stuff I've had to save to a Pinterest board called 'Writing Motivation' says if you write when you don't want to, it should pass instead of worsening. I wanted to hit 35K this weekend, but I'm not sure I'll have the momentum. I'll at least hit 31,270, though, which is my minimum goal for this week. I'm still over 700 words off my goal for today, but I'm taking a break because my head is foggy and there's still eight hours left in the day. Besides, 700 after dinner is easy. She says, realising she's probably jinxing it. Oh, well. 80K by March 31st would be difficult, even if I weren't going back to school soon, but that's a stretch goal. 100K by April 31st is my minimum, and I'm 9,000 ahead of where I need to be for that.

I think I’m stagnating because I’ve hit the ‘Fun and Games’ section, which I find really boring. I’m going to try to keep going with it, but I may just skip it and come back later.

Saturday 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 So, I did not get the extra 700 words in. Before dinner, some stuff I had to deal with came up, and by the time it was done, I just wanted to go to bed, so I did. Today, I'm going to try to make up for it, which I think is reasonable because it is now the weekend. I'm still kinda exhausted this morning, but I'm going to do my best, and my wrist hurts, but I'm not sure why. You'd think it would be from all the typing, but only one wrist hurts - you know what? Never mind. They do both hurt. I'm just not sure why, but it doesn't hurt typing this, so that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, to hit my word count for the day, I need to write 2,555 words, which doesn't sound like too much, but it kinda is because I'm primarily writing Act Two at the minute, and for every thousand words I write, I lose like 400 from my outline. You'd think I'd just not include my scene outlines in the word count, but it's too late for that now.

I'm thinking this over, and I really don't think trying to write 80K by the end of the month is going to be good for either my motivation, mental health, or ability to function back at school, so I'm going to stick to 100K or a finished draft by April 30th, and re-work out my goals from there, based on yesterday's word count, so I'm not making myself do catch-up today.

So, to hit 100K by April 30th, I only need to write 1,309 words each day (which will decrease over time because if that's my minimum now, I'll probably surpass it, decreasing the amount of words left etc.). That's so much less pressure.

God, I really don't want to write today. I just want to watch YouTube and Netflix and read.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been working on this story straight for three weeks and I'm kinda exhausted of it. I'm not done with it, not at all, and I want to keep working on it because it exists, which makes it workable.

I watched a writing vlog by ShaelinWrites yesterday, and she said she writes different projects at once, alternating in week- or multi-week-long blocks. I think I might try that.

My plan with this post and the following updates was to keep updating it until the day it goes up, the day after which is when I begin drafting the next, but, since I may be switching projects for a while and this is really about the project I've decided to dub 'Bay Tree' (which is just, I guess, a pseudonym for here because while I have no idea what it would eventually be called, I know that's nothing like the title I'd want to give it) so I'd want to start a new post for a new project.

I'm now doing a little outlining instead of actually continuing writing, but I think this will help me, though I'm still not certain about whether or not I'm going to directly continue with this specific project for the minute. Instead of setting daily goals based on a target, I'm also just going to say 1,000 words a day, and see where that takes me.

I've just been outlining into Act Three, and I've met a major plot stumble, but I'm going to work that out and explain what I'm doing in my next writing update.

So, go drink some water, eat if you haven't eaten in the last few hours, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are and how much happiness you deserve, and, if you want to write a book, stop thinking about it, and go write.

[decayedflower]

Stranger I

⋆ gif is mine

Pairing: Yang Hongwon x Reader

Genre: Underground rapper!Hongwon, Barista!Reader | angst, fluff

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: Don’t get attached. This was his number one rule. Attachment means getting hurt. Attachment means vulnerability. You are the only person you can trust. So how could she so easily sneak past and break the walls he had worked so hard to build around his heart when all she is, is a stranger?

Warnings: some cussing, underage drinking, mentions of sex

A/N: Please note that there will probably be more mentions of mature content in the future. Do also keep in mind that this is all fictional, and Hongwon is a grown ass man so if you cannot come to terms with that then this fic is not for you!

You stood at the foot of the apartment; your hand still in its grip on the knob. A pair of glossy red high heels sit prettily at the entrance; right next to your boyfriend’s white Nike Air Jordan 1’s.

There was no way right? Surely this wasn’t what you thought it was.

You hesitantly walk into the apartment, careful not to make any noise. There is no one in the kitchen or in the living room. Your heart booms loudly in your chest. It’s 6pm. Why is he even home? He’s usually out of work by 8pm so it’s a bit early for him to be home…Maybe his sister came over?

Relax, Y/N. Stop overreacting.

Oh but wrong you are and overreacting you are not. As you draw closer, you notice the bedroom door has been left ajar. His naked back is to you, his body caging a girl beneath him, her long curly hair sticking to her face. The bedsheets cover them, but you don’t need to imagine what is going on underneath them. His back muscles flex as he pounds into her. For a moment you’re frozen, all you can see and hear is the way she screams out in pleasure, her nails clawing into his back. You back away, not wanting to see anymore than you have, but finding yourself unable to look away. And then, because the universe hates you, the floorboards creak underneath you.

The girl snaps her eyes open to you and gasps, holding onto your boyfriend to cover herself, “oh my god!”

“What?” Jaewon eyes widen when he turns back and sees you standing through the crack of the door. Your legs hit the back of the couch before you snap out of it and decide to make a run for it.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

You hastily grab your bag off the floor, tripping over your own feet, wanting nothing more than to get the fuck out of there. You hear a voice ask faintly in the background, “you know her?” You squeeze your eyes and try to block them out, not wanting to hear his answer. You’re about to leave when you turn to see Jaewon shirtless and buckling his pants in a hurry to get to you. “Y/N, wait—”

And then you’re gone.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were upset.” Hoon says, filling your glass for the fourth time now. You chuckle humorlessly, “Oh yeah? No shit?” You chug half of your drink, Hoon’s stare piercing through the side of your head. “Alright easy now, tiger. What’s got you getting all shitfaced within 10 minutes of you getting here? I’m on the clock you know, I can’t exactly babysit right now.”

“I’m not a baby,” you huff. “And I’m not even drunk yet you asshole.”

“Uh huh,” he rests his cheek on his hand, staring at you expectantly. “You can’t fool me kid, I’ve known you since you were just a little brat. No one goes and gets drunk all alone at this time of night for the shits and giggles.”

You’re huff quietly, stubbornly trying to pretend nothing is wrong but alas, you were never a good liar. “He cheated on me,” you say, your grip on the glass tightening. “What?”

“He cheated on me, Hoon. Jaewon cheated on me,” you finally look at him, tears starting to prick your eyes. Honestly, you were shocked you had lasted this long without crying your eyes out. When you left the apartment you still hadn’t fully processed what you had seen. But now that you sat here in front of Hoon, reality was sitting heavy on your heart.

You have plenty more drinks after that, drunkenly relaying all the details to your friend, coming to terms for the first time that night that your boyfriend of 2 years cheated on you. Eventually, after trying to soothe and calm you down but to no avail, Hoon decides to call your roommate. He loves you and really wishes he could comfort you, but he had already spent quite some time talking to you and his boss was starting to give him stank faces. Also, he was pretty sure anyone within a 5 mile radius had overheard your emotional breakdown with how loud you were being. You’d thank him later.

“Please come get her. My boss will chew my ass out if I don’t get back to work soon. Plus I’ve got her snot all over my shirt and it’s kind of fuckin’ disgusting.”

“Shit, it’s that bad? I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“A-A-And then h-he—aghhhhhhunghh,” you bawl into Hyeri’s coat as she struggles to help you out of the passenger seat of her car. Hyeri loves you. She really does. But she was two seconds away from leaving your ass on the sidewalk with how difficult you were being. “HE SAID HE LUHEED MEE!! HE’S UH LIAR!!!”

“Okay okay, I know honey. He’s a fucking asshole but you need to stop yelling before someone calls the cops on us for a kidnapping, okay?”

You sniff loudly and nod your head at her. “I swear I’m going fucking kill him. Don’t you worry, sweetie he’s not going to get away with this.”

After much tripping and fumbling she manages to haul you to your shared apartment. She sits you on the couch and hands you a water bottle. “I need you to drink this okay? All of it.”

You pout, “don’t wanna.”

“Y/N,” she warns.

“…”

She glares at you, her stare unwavering.

“Fine,” you grab the bottle from her and chug it.

“Thank you,” she smiles at you. “Let’s get you to bed. We can talk about it tomorrow when you’re feeling better okay?”

And you do. The following day you tell her in detail how you walked in on his two timing. You’re embarrassed, to say the least. Embarrassed that you didn’t notice anything was wrong. Embarrassed that you allowed yourself to be made a fool out of. In truth, if someone had asked if you thought Jaewon would ever cheat on you, you would have wholeheartedly said no. Your relationship with Jaewon was perfect. Or at least you had thought it was. He was such a loving boyfriend, a guy who never failed to make sure you felt treasured. He worshipped you body, took you out on nice dates, always told you how pretty you are. You thought he was the perfect guy, but had you just been so blind to the attention he gave you that you didn’t notice when his eyes strayed?

How skilled was he at this game that you had not even dared to think he would cheat on you? For two years he had you wrapped around his finger. You were an idiot for letting him play you like that.

The weekend drags on with you cooped up in your bedroom for the entirety of it. Luckily you had the weekend off to cry to your heart’s content with a tub of ice cream in your lap. You were thankful for Hyeri, always there to comfort you and feed you your favorite foods. Of course she had her own colorful words to say about your ex boyfriend, swearing she’d cut his balls off herself the next time they crossed paths.

Speaking of balls, he sure had a pair on him. (figuratively, not literally, he wasn’t that impressive) He was actually trying to apologize through text.

Jae ♥♥♥: can we talk please? [7:58 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: i wasn’t in my right mind please believe me [9:58 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: just let me explain [8:02 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: baby please [8:17 PM]

You leave his ass on read.

Jae ♥♥♥: Talk to me [11:37 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: I know you’re reading these [11:45 PM]

Jae ♥♥♥: Y/N? Baby please. [11:57 PM]

Hyeri sits at the foot of your bed, painting her toenails. “He won’t stop texting me.” You watch your phone as texts come in one after another, tears long dried on your cheeks. She snaps her head up, nail polish brush between her fingers in the air, “don’t you fucking dare.”

You sigh, “what if—”

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re even considering forgiving him.”

“Oh god no! I just…it’s hard. He’s a fucking pig for cheating on me…but my heart can’t help it. I spent two years of my life with him, Hyeri. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had. This probably sounds stupid, but I really thought he was the one.” You sniff and roll over on your bed, sinking deep into your pillows.

“It’s not stupid, honey. Anyone else in your shoes would feel the same way. But you don’t deserve that shit. Any guy stupid enough to even stray their eyes from someone as goregous and smart as you for their girlfriend, has some real fuckin’ issues. But he did what he did, and let me tell you sweetheart, that shit will not be flying with me. He’d better hope we don’t even get within a 10 mile radius of each other cause so help me those will be his last living moments.”

You grunt a response.

“Stop pouting. If I didn’t have wet toes right now, I’d be engulfing you in a koala hug but just wait til these bad boys dry.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The beginning of your shift at the cafe goes by quickly. It’s a monday so the early morning rush keeps you busy for a while. After the rush of people in need of their daily dose of caffeine before work and school, only a couple of patrons remain in the shop. The small break allows you to clear up tables and replace empty bottles and containers on the shelves while it’s slow.

Jaewon continued to bombard your phone with texts over the weekend in hopes that you would give in and talk things over with him. You wanted to block him, but a small part of you also enjoyed the little power you had over him when you read his desperate messages only to leave him with silence. You have seen plenty of shitty relationships where people stay even when they get cheated on but you’re smart enough to recognize a toxic relationship when you see one. Forgiving someone after they are unfaithful just seems impossible to you. If they cheat once, they could certainly do it again. Call you a dumb bitch for not seeing the signs earlier but you’re not stupid enough to do that to yourself.

You chastise yourself for letting your thoughts wander to him again and finish wiping down the last table. The ding of the bell at the front entrance signals the entrance of a new customer, and you call out instinctively, “Welcome! I’ll be there in just a moment!” Let me catch my breath for a second, will you universe? You grumble inwardly. You quickly grab the rag you were using and make your way to the kitchen. You toss it into a bin in the back and greet them at the front counter.

“Good morning,” you say in your best work voice, only briefly acknowledging the customer’s presence, “What can I get for you today?”

To be honest you only half-assedly spoke, contrary to the sickly sweet voice you were using. You were hoping to quickly get through this order so you could go back to moping quietly at the back of the cafe. You keep your gaze on the register’s screen, ready to punch in whatever drink this guy wanted.

“Mornin.”

The deep timbre of his voice slightly startles you and you try to not make it obvious in the way you snap your eyes up to get a peek at him. You instantly regret it. His dark hair hides beneath a black beanie, small curls peeking out from the back of it. He’s dressed casually in a dark gray hoodie and loose black cargo pants, but he somehow makes it look like it belongs on a magazine cover. Fuck. He’s the epitome of grunge emo boy hottie. You cover up your gawking with a nervous smile.

He returns your smile with a boyish smile of his own that you find quite endearing.

“Can I get two medium iced americanos, please.” Two drinks, huh. Maybe he has a girlfriend he’s meeting here. Fuck. You really don’t need cute emo boy here to get all lovey dovey with his (probably) really pretty girlfriend in front of you to remind you of just how broken and unmendable your own relationship is.

“Of course,” you punch in the order (perhaps a bit too aggressively). “Can I get a name for the order?”

“Hongwon.”

Fuck this guy. Even his name is cute. How’s that even possible? “Hongwon,” you repeat, grabbing two medium sized cups and writing it down. “Alright, your total is going to be $6.50.”

He hands you his card, your fingers brushing slightly as he does so. You ignore the way your cheeks start to heat up and quickly ring him up before you hand him his receipt. “Your drinks will be ready soon.”

“Thanks.”

Okay, get a hold of yourself, Y/N. It’s not his fault you’re single because your boyfriend turned out to be a douche. You sigh and make a grab for the coffee beans when your coworker emerges from the back of the kitchen.

“Hey Jungkook, back from break?”

He yawns and nods, “Yeah. I should have taken a damn nap though.” You chuckle, “what, you stay up playing Resident Evil all night again?”

He gasps dramatically and stops what he is doing to look at you, “Rude of you to assume I wasn’t up studying!” You fill two cups with ice and water. “We both know your ass wasn’t studying, you big goof.”

“Okay, I wasn’t. But that shit still hurted bro.”

You laugh again and shake your head. Jungkook tops the two cups with espresso and places the lids on them.

“Hongwon?” He calls out, reading your handwriting. You try to not look when you hear his footsteps draw closer and instead busy yourself with replacing an empty bottle of vanilla syrup.

“Thanks man.”

“No problem dude.”

As you go to toss out the empty syrup bottle, you note that the chocolate syrup is nearly gone as well as the caramel. Who the hell closed the shop last night? You swear it was probably that new guy Namjoon. He was really sweet and funny, but he was also incredibly clumsy and forgetful. You groan to yourself, remembering that both boxes of chocolate and caramel syrup are placed at the highest rack on the shelves where you can’t reach.

The bell rings again and a tall boy enters the cafe; one you recognize as Choi Hamin, one of your regular customers who you had befriended not too long ago. He smiles and waves at you. You return the gesture and blink confusedly when he doesn’t come to the register to order himself a drink.

“So how have you been, Y/N?” Jungkook asks, bringing your attention back to him.

“Huh?”

“It’s been a while since we worked a shift together.” You internally groan when he asks the one question you’ve been dreading all day. Jungkook tosses out the syrup bottles you left on the counter and heads towards the storage room in the kitchen, probably having watched your inner mental breakdown. You follow him into the room, opting to joke around with him to avoid voicing how you actually feel. “That’s because you keep giving your shifts away, headass. Maybe if you actually came into work…” you tease.

He laughs loudly and raises his hands in defense, “Whoa whoa whoa, I did not ask to be called out like that! You’re full of sass today aren’t you? Besides, you didn’t answer my question.” he immediately finds the boxes he’s looking for and reaches for them. “What’re you up to these days?”

Your fingers play with an open box of coffee creamers on a nearby shelf absentmindedly. “Oh uhm nothing much. I’m good. Just, you know, school. Art projects and stuff.” You internally cringe at the way you are unable to form a lie on the spot. “Nothing too crazy. How about you?” you ask quickly, hoping to pass the attention back onto him.

Jungkook looks over his shoulder and studies your face for a while before he decides to speak. “I’m good but…is everything really okay?”

“Yeah, it’s not too stressful. Besides, you know me, always keeping my head buried in those—”

“That’s not what I meant.”

His expression is unreadable, but the concern that laces his voice is clear. You stare at him blankly for a while, unable to find your voice. You both look at each other for a moment before a voice breaks the silence.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Ah, uh—coming!” you call out. You head back to the register quickly, eager to avoid Jungkook’s little interrogation.

“I’m really sorry if it’s any trouble…” Hamin starts, “I was just wondering if you guys changed the wifi password… It’s been a while since I was last here. Sorry.” He stands there hesitantly, obviously sensing the tension between you and Jungkook who takes to replacing the bottles of syrup behind you.

“Oh! No, it’s no trouble at all,” you say quickly and move to grab a sticky note so you can write down the server and password. “Actually, I forgot to make a new poster for the wifi since we changed our service provider last week. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, thank you Y/N,” he smiles meekly and turns on his feet. “No worries.” You’re still watching after him when you see him sit down across from Hongwon.

Ahhhhh …so he was meeting Hamin. Hamin is friends with cute emo boy.

Jungkook’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. “Did something happen?” He asks you tentatively. You sigh. “Why would you think that?” You avoid his gaze and start wiping down the counter.

“You’re not looking at me.” He points out.

You halt your movements and look at him. “What do you want me to say, Jungkook?”

“I don’t know! The truth! It just…it feels like something is bothering you.” He says quietly.

“I’m fine. Honestly, Jungkook. Nothing is bothering me. I’m fine.” You continue wiping down the counter. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice he flinches slightly when you say it a little too aggressively.

The front entrance bell dings once again and for a second you thank the heavens for yet another momentary distraction from Jungkook’s prying until you lift your head up to greet them.

“Hell—” your voice dies in your throat along with every ounce of confidence you thought you had in yourself should this encounter occur. You freeze for a moment, unsure of how to react to his unannounced visit.

Ah, so that’s what it is, Jungkook realizes. He decides to let the scene unfold a bit before he intervenes.

“What are you doing here?” You demand immediately.

“Y/N…When are you taking a break? Can we talk?…Please?”

“I’ve had my break. I can’t talk. I’m working.”

“Just five minutes, please bab—”

“Don’t call me that.” You mentally scold yourself for the way your voice cracks slightly when you say it.

“Okay, I’m sorry.  I just…when are you off? I’ll wait for y—”

“I’m not talking to you!” You yell, unconsciously taking a few steps back every time he takes one forward, even though there’s a counter that separates you both. The volume of your outburst startles Jungkook beside you, realizing how the exchange is slowly gathering the attention of everyone in the cafe.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” You repeat softly “Please respect that, Jaewon. You should leave.” You refuse to look at him, instead opting for the dirty tiles on the floor. He doesn’t say anything as he takes his leave. Your only sign he’s gone is the sound of the bell as the door closes after him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Half of your lunch break has passed when you finish relaying all of the details to Jungkook, who has finished his shift but stayed back to talk to you.

“He’s a fucking piece of shit! He doesn’t deserve you, Y/N.” Jungkook paces around the break room with his hands on his hips. When he saw you tense at the arrival of Jaewon, he figured that you two had probably just gotten into a heated argument, at best. But he was less than ecstatic to hear otherwise when you revealed to him that he had actually cheated on you.

You sigh and shove your face into your arms on the table. “I’ll stay here and walk you home when you finish your shift.” You quickly pick your head back up. “What? No, Jungkook you don’t have to do that.”

“What if he starts harassing you when you’re walking home? He seemed adamant on getting a chance to talk to you.”

“I really don’t think he cares that much, Jungkook. Plus, even if he wants to talk to me, it’s not like I plan on giving him another chance. I’m not that dumb.”

“You’re not dumb. This isn’t your fault okay?” He remains quiet for a second before he grabs a chair and scoots it close to you, sitting on it backwards. “Listen. He doesn’t deserve you. Anyone who is stupid enough to throw you away like that is a fucking idiot. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen.”

You chuckle lightly but say nothing, keeping your gaze cast on the floor. “If you won’t let me walk you home,” he continues “at least text me when you leave work and let me know right when you get home. Okay?”

“Jungkook,” you laugh, “you do know it’ll still be light out when I’m off right?.”

“That doesn’t matter. People do bad shit at any time of the day Y/N, they don’t care.”

“Alright, alright. Yes, dad.” you joke.

“I think I like daddy better.”

“Ew, Jungkook.”

“I’m just kidding! But on a serious note, please be careful, alright? If he gives you any trouble, call me. I’ll have you know I’ve been taking boxing lessons recently.” He says proudly.

“Are you actually concerned or is your ego really that big?” you deadpan.

He whines and grabs your hands. “Y/N. Hyeri will kill me if anything happens to you. You do know that right?” You push his hands away.

“You asshole! So you just want to get on Hyeri’s good side!”

“Noooo, I do care! Hyeri is just a plus! I swear!”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Yeah, yeah whatever. Go home, Junglebook.”

“Fine,” he pouts, grabbing his backpack and putting his bucket hat on his head. “Don’t forget to text me and call me if anything okay?”

“I will, I will.”

“Okay. Bye Y/N, get home safe.”

“You too Jungkookie.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Me: the one across from the Chinese restaurant right? [7:50 AM]

Hamin: yea the Grind [7:52 AM]

Hamin: I’ll be there in 10 [7:53 AM]

Hongwon stuffs his phone in his back pocket and shivers slightly. Hamin sure had some nerve making him wait. Especially when it was this damn cold. So goddamn early too.

The pair were in the middle of working on a song together and their deadline was steadily approaching. To be honest, they had been pushing it off so much because it just wasn’t coming together. Something wasn’t clicking. With just two weeks left, they figured they had to try to conjure up some lyrics that at least sounded decent.

Hey, I have an idea! Let’s wake up at the ass crack of dawn when our brain juices are hardly flowing! Surely we’ll make a masterpiece this way! He has no idea what the hell was Hamin thinking, because he sure as hell wouldn’t do this to himself intentionally.

He parks his motorcycle on the side of the curb and kicks the kickstand to keep it in place. He squints at the sign of the coffee shop, making sure he’s at the right place. He sighs, finding that unfortunately he is, and his ass will indeed have to get into work mode. He drags himself to the door, pulling on it and immediately noticing the lack of people upon entering. He silently thanks his friend for making at least one smart decision in this dumb plan of his. Looking around for free tables, he mentally picks out an empty table to claim by the window.

“Welcome! I’ll be there in just a moment!”

Hongwon nods at you silently, sweeping his eyes around the coffee shop. He notes that the decor is quite minimalistic, which he appreciates. He hates it when coffee shops try to do the most with overly expensive and fragile looking tea cups and such adorning the walls.

“Good morning. What can I get for you today?”

“Mornin’,” he smiles at you, the sullen look you had before you plastered a smile on your face, not escaping him.

He briefly looks down at the menu, even though he already knows what he’s going to order. Hamin likes americanos right? Who doesn’t? Even if he doesn’t, it serves him right for making him get up so early. “Can I get two medium iced americanos, please?”

“Of course.” He watches you punch in his order, your teeth biting into your lip in concentration. Your hair is neatly plaited into a braid, some strands falling loosely around the frame of your face.

“Can I get a name for the order?”

“Hongwon,” he says, watching you write his name on two cups.

“Your drinks will be ready soon.”

“Thanks,” Hangwon takes his receipt and finds the table he had picked near the window. He fishes out his phone and opens up his conversation with Hamin.

Me: I ordered drinks [8:12 AM]

Me: why is ur noodle looking ass taking so damn long??? [8:13 AM]

Chamin: fuck you I had to take my sister to school dingus [8:15 AM]

Chamin: i’m almost there chill i’ll buy u lunch or smth [8:15 AM]

Me: hell yeah [8:16 AM]

Me: screenshotting this [8:16 AM]

Hamin: why do i already regret that [8:19]

Hongwon chuckles and puts his phone down on the table. The inside of the coffee shop is warm, baked goods and coffee beans wafting through the air with dark mahogany bookshelves gracing the walls. If he’s being truthful, he would never step into a place like this on his own even. Although now that he’s sitting here he finds himself enjoying it. He guesses he’s thankful for the quiet seeing as though he actually has shit to get done. Usually though, his scene is more a rowdy one.

Hongwon watches you as work, joking around with your coworker, whose name he catches is Jungkook. He notices again how your smiles seem halfhearted, always keeping your gaze on the floor. He stops himself there. He’s over analyzing everything about you when he doesn’t even know you.

“Hongwon?” your coworker calls out.

He stands to receive his drinks, mentally cursing Hamin for making him look like a loner with two drinks. He sighs and glances outside the window to people watch. He taps his fingers along the wood of the table. I guess I can work in this atmosphere. Hamin’s lucky he had his morning cigarette.

Ding!

Speak of the devil. Hongwon glares at his friend as he makes his way towards him. Hamin smiles sheepishly, “Hey man sorry, Samantha couldn’t find her pink sparkly sweater and she ‘just had to wear it!’” He mocks his younger sibling’s voice in what he considers the whine of a 6 year old girl.

He cringes at his taller friend, “Eww, you’re forgiven just please never make that repulsive sound ever again.” Hamin punches his shoulder playfully, taking a seat across from him and reaching for the laptop in his bag. He fiddles around with for a bit before he sighs. “Shit, I can’t get a connection.” He squints at his laptop and then rises from his seat. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

“Sure,” Hongwon dismisses half heartedly; too busy going over lyrics he has written in an old notebook, trying to pick something they could potentially use for the track they had been agonizing over for weeks.

“Hey Y/N?” Hongwon watches as you meet him at the counter, smiling at him apologetically. He wonders how well you two know each other. He shakes his head and continues to bury himself in lyrics. He should be focused on this and not on things that don’t concern him. What was wrong with him? Must be the lack of sleep, he thinks. He sighs out loud thinking he could use another cigarette.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Undress the pants like Young B,” Hamin slaps his hand on his thigh and laughs like he just said the funniest joke on the planet. “That would be fucking hilarious! God, I still can’t believe you did that.”

“Oh my god, dude! That would be sooo fucking funny!” he says, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Fuck you! I was drunk, alright. And just for that, I will add that in so suck my dick.” Hongwon smirks and types it out on the lyrics file. The taller boy puts his hands up in mock apology, “Sorry, I don’t swing that way.”

“Go to hell.”

“Are you really putting that in there?”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

Hamin peeks at the laptop. “Damn, didn’t think you’d actually do it. Gimme creds though.”

“You’re really fuckin’ shameless you know that?”

Hamin is about to reply when your voice raises an octave. “What are you doing here?”

They both turn to look at the scene where you stand behind the counter, backing away slightly from the man in front of you.

“Y/N…When are you taking a break? Can we talk? Please?”

“I’ve had my break. I can’t talk. I’m working.” You reply curtly.

“Just five minutes, please bab—”

You flinch slightly at the word, “Don’t call me that.” It’s clear that you don’t seem too keen on talking to him. He puts two and two together and decides that this guy is probably your boyfriend. “I’m not talking to you!” You yell at him. You’re obviously upset with something he did to you, and much to his surprise, he leaves without too much of a fuss.

The patrons of the cafe had all been watching the whole thing, the shop deathly quiet until he takes his leave.

“Poor Y/N…” Hamin says before turning back to the work in front of him.

“Yeah,” he agrees “sounded rough.” He watches as your manager comes out upon hearing the commotion, your coworker explaining the situation before you’re ushered to what he assumes is probably the breakroom. “You know her?” he asks nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I met her when I first started coming here a few months back. She’s really sweet, she’s our age actually. I guess something happened with her boyfriend...”

“Huh,” he responds, taking this information quietly, trying not to appear too interested.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Work after Jungkook went home became increasingly boring. Your other coworker Yoongi replaced him, but the cafe only became more quiet as time passed. It wasn’t that Yoongi was boring, he was just more of an introvert. On the contrary, you often preferred Yoongi’s presence because the silence with him was never uncomfortable. Of course today, however, the silence is your enemy, leaving you alone with your thoughts and nothing to block them out.

There is one good thing that was left though. You glance at his table for what feels like the millionth time that day. The cute emo boy had remained in the cafe, writing away in his notebook, his taller friend long since gone. They had spent a good six hours chattering away with each other and hovering over that laptop ever since they came in this morning. It strangely brought some peace to you, seeing him so committed to whatever he was writing in his notebook. You felt embarrassed that he and Hamin had been witnesses to the whole fiasco with your ex boyfriend in front of everyone. You wish the earth would just swallow you whole already.

“Hey,” Yoongi says, popping his head out from behind the kitchen door frame “Boss says you’re good to go home, Seokjin just came in.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks Yoongi.” You go to move past him before he stops you.

“Hey,” he starts “…it’s getting pretty cold outside, so make sure you’re bundled up alright?”

Neither of you has to say it, but you both know his words carry a double meaning. He knows what happened. But Yoongi is not the type of guy to feed you bullshit just to comfort you. You smile at his small way of taking care of you, “I will.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The time on your phone reads 2:23 when you finally clock off and find yourself outside the shop staring up at the granite sky, the cold air biting at your skin.  Although the gloomy weather does nothing to lift your spirits, it’s still your favorite type of weather.

“Looks like it’ll probably start raining, huh?” The deep voice behind you startles you, and it’s not until you turn to look at him that you realize who it is. He stands there looking at the rapidly increasing clouds, with his lips turned down and his hands shoved in his pockets.

It’s cute emo boy. “Huh?” he looks at you, tilting his head in confusion. Shit, did you say that out loud?  “A-ah-uh…you’re Hamin’s friend, right?” you blurt out. “Saw you guys sitting together.”

“Oh, uh yeah,” he nods, scratching the back of his neck and looking out into the street, “he suggested we meet for a project since he really likes the coffee here.”

“I think he likes more the fact that I give him free drinks sometimes rather than the coffee itself,” you giggle to yourself. Your nose crinkles slightly when you do, shaking your head to yourself in amusement. Cute, he thinks. Wait, what the hell? Did he just think that about a random girl he just met? Damn he really needed to get laid.

“Well,” you say, pushing your bag up higher on your shoulder. “I should probably get going before it starts to rain.” You begin to walk in the direction of your apartment when he internally begins to panic.

“Oh—uh, I’m actually walking this way too,” he blurts. Why the hell did he say that???

“Oh really? Guess we can walk together then,” you laugh.

“Uh yeah, sure,” he shrugs casually.

You both begin your trek “home” in silence. Neither of you speak, not quite knowing what to say but wanting to say something. Hongwon mentally chastises himself for being such a fool and irrationally lying to you just so he could talk to you for a bit more. He doesn’t even know why he said that but he reasons that it’s just because you’re Hamin’s friend and he probably wouldn’t want you walking alone. Even if it was still day time.

“I’m Hongwon by the way,” he blurts.

You stifle a laugh with your hand, “I know, I took your order this morning remember?” Fucking idiot. “I’m Y/N,” you say.

“Er well, I didn’t really think you’d remember,” he says lamely.

“Of course, I did! Oh, right!” you say suddenly, “you mentioned you were working on a project with Hamin. What kind of project is it? If you don’t mind me asking” you add.

Hongwon watches you from the corner of his eye; your eyes trained on your feet, fingers playing with the fringes of the scarf around your neck. He looks away and smiles slightly at your politeness. “I don’t mind,” he shoves his hands into the warmth of his hoodie pockets, suddenly shy. “We’re working on a song. I uh—we write music.” He feels nervous somehow, saying that to you. He avoids saying the words “SoundCloud” and “rapper” in fear that you’d laugh at him. He knows there isn’t the best of reputations associated with soundcloud rappers. Not that he’s embarrassed of being one himself. He just inexplicably wants to make a good impression on you.

Your lips form into a little ‘o’ at his admission. “Really,” you breathe, a puff of air coming from your mouth when you do. “That’s so cool!” Hongwon shoots his head towards you at your reaction. “Huh, I always wondered what Hamin was up to working on that laptop of his for so many hours! So, you guys in a band or something?” you ask him, your eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Um no, not really…” he replies, still taken aback at your reaction. “You must be pretty good then. Since you guys were working in there for so long,” you tease. Hongwon flushes, remembering how Hamin had left hours before him since they had surprisingly been able to power out some good lyrics. He only stayed behind to work on some of his own stuff though, he argues to himself.

“Ah well, we have a deadline to meet so we kind of had to,” he admits, scratching the back of his neck. “A deadline? Wow, I guess it’s really serious then. That’s really cool,” you smile. “Might have to ask you to play me something of yours one day.” You flush at your own words when you realize what they imply and backtrack immediately. “If you ever plan on coming back to the Grind that is,” you bring your hands up in front of you, coming to a stop. “If not, maybe I can convince you and Hamin with a drink on the house,” you laugh nervously.

“Of course I’ll be back! I-I mean, we…err, I really liked your coffee,” he stutters. Hongwon internally slaps himself. You had an iced americano, you idiot! Just how exotic and delicious is that?! And quit acting like a 5 year old girl!

“Awesome! I basically live there so you’re bound to see me sometime,” you laugh softly. “Well, this is me,” you say pointing to a street behind you. “Thanks for walking with me, Hongwon. I know it’s probably only because I’m friends with Hamin, but I still really appreciate it.”

“Hey, I enjoyed the walk just as much as you did. Besides, I was going this way anyways,” he looks away, scratching his cheek.

“I guess I’ll see you around then?” you ask, walking backwards.

“Sure,” he calls out, putting a hand up in farewell.

Okay so, in hindsight this was probably not his best idea. Hongwon looks up at the stormy sky as small raindrops begin to fall from the sky. He sighs dejectedly and begins his walk back to his motorcycle. Oh yes, let me walk with you! I’m going this way anyway! Tell that to the Venom X-22 GT you left parked on the side of the curb, moron.

part II

[beg-for-it-black]

LDWS Week 1 Voting

Guys! Voting is HERE! As of right now, voting will stay open until Monday at 6pm EST. You all have 1 vote for most favorite and 1 vote for least favorite drabbles. Participants are encouraged to vote, but you may NOT vote for yourselves! I should explain a bit more how this works, I guess. The winner isn't decided by whoever gets the most most fav votes. Each most fav vote gets +1. Each least fav gets -1. Once those are tallied, a winner will be determined. If there's a tie, there will be a tie breaker so that there is one winner and one person eliminated. Please, try not to vote on a drabble just because you like a pairing. Take into account the quality of the writing and how well it fits the prompt! When you vote, just send me a message stating the number and the title of the drabbles. Do not send messages on anon. The prompt this week was "Well that was a bad idea" and had to be between 440-450 words.

[infamous-taylor]

SEX NOTE || RogerTaylor!BenHardy x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, smut 18+, lots of it, teasing, Daddy kink, language and some fluff.

Summary: Roger and you are in the college both have daddy issues. Roger has a notebook where he writes down names of girls he wants to dick down. So gar only you were able to fulfil his fantasies.

“It’s all fun and shit until somebody catches feelings.”

Words: 4.8k

A/N: enjoy and let me know your opinion on this down below! much love to you!

———————————————————————

“What do you want, Taylor?” you asked him all annoyed as you sat down to your table at lunch.

“You.” he smirked as he whispered to your ear. His fingers ran through your neck sending some shivers.

“Listen. I don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you this BUT I’m not interested. There are other girls out there who are willing to give, man.” you answered all annoyed and kinda all in his face almost like asserting dominance over him. Maybe you wanted to scare him or give this look so he won’t mess with you, won’t fuck with you. But deep inside, all those rumours about him in bed and stories.. Gosh.. You would love to mess around with him.. you wanted to. But no. You have to control yourself. There are other guys who are even better, right?

“Babygirl, calm down, you like it rough, don’t you?” he smirked and let out a small laugh after his words, he stepped closer to you, sending shivers and you could feel yourself getting turned on by his actions and words. “Don’t worry,” he said leaning to your ear, wrapping his arm around your waist as he pushed you closer to him “I would take such a good care of you, baby..” he whispered to your ear again. But this time it was even more intense. It was as if you could give it all to him right now right here. Just the way he spoke and the way he touched.. Okay okay, back to reality. ‘You can’t just swing around him. All he wants is just a night with you and then, he will not care about you, you’re just gonna be like one of those other girls. The story repeats.’ You thought to yourself.

“Oh, fuck off, Taylor.” You pushed yourself out of his embrace. You said it with pretty annoyed expression on your face. Packing your things getting ready to leave this so now kinda ruined lunch that you weren’t even able to try in the first place.

“Okay okay, cobra.” He let out a laugh. “See you around” he winked and left. His one hand in the pocket and this huge grin on his face. Jesus. You thought to yourself. Can he get any more narcissistic? How come someone be that outrageous but yet have this look that made all girls swing. And hold on, how did he called me? A fucking cobra? The anger got to you. If you already didn’t like Roger this comment for some reason made you even more dislike him. You knew what kind of dude he was. Doesn’t matter if you’re good looking or not if your persona is shitty then looks have no power and doesn’t matter. You thought to yourself and left the cafeteria.

~~~

‘Another day, another drama’ you thought to yourself and sighed. You thought about everything that happened yesterday overnight and thought that maybe it would be fun to just mess around with Roger, I mean, what do you have to loose? Virginity? Don’t have it either. You were into those dirty games as well and you know, sometimes it’s fun and it’s also what you want, so a little mess around with Taylor but you’re gonna kinda ruin him and make him (kinda) chase you even more, you’re gonna try and make him desperate for you. But you have to be careful this time because the last time you tried to mess around, this dude Tom catched feelings for you. And it kinda feels terrible but not really. Yes, it’s like a dick move but sometimes they need to taste their own medicine. These things are fun and shit until someone catches feelings.

But with Roger.. He broke so many hearts and maybe he needs to taste his own medicine. For those broken hearts and for your own pleasure and desires you thought, a little smirk appeared on your face.

Just as you walked to the auditorium, you saw a little silhouette of a.. yes, the silhouette of a blonde walking closer to you with a grin on his face.

“Good morning, pretty lady. Little early today, don’t you think?” He said with a smile and grin on his face. “Nobody’s here..yet. Just you, me and these walls” He leaned closer to you.

“Morning to you too. Can you please move?” You looked up at him as you were looking into his eyes, a small grin appeared on your face: “Some people actually are in college to actually get profession and education, can you believe that, Roger?” you replied with confidence but you said his name seductively, slowly and quieter than the whole sentence. His eyes widened. Just the way you said his name. It was first time he heard someone say his name like that. He wanted to hear you say his name again and maybe not in college, maybe somewhere else..his room. In fact, he wanted you to scream his name. Maybe not only his name.. Maybe he wanted you to say something else.. he wanted that mouth of yours say daddy. Just as you were to leave and walk away, he grabbed your hand and push-slammed you to the wall, both his hands were on the wall in a way that you couldn’t get out of his embrace. He leaned to you and was about to kiss you, he was getting closer and closer and just as he was centimetres away, you put your finger on his lips. You moved his arm and removed your finger from his lips.

“See you around, Roger.” just as you said that slowly and seductively, you made sure you were looking into his eyes as you said it, you gave a quick suck on the finger that you put earlier on his lips. You winked and left.

“What the fuck was that?” Roger murmured to himself. He was frustrated. No other girl has ever did this to him, ever. It was driving him crazy. Usually the girls would already gave in and he would sleep with them by the night but you didn’t. He liked it. He liked the chase, it was new to him. In fact, he started to crave you even more. Just the thought of his finger inside your mouth or him inside your mouth was driving him nuts. It was something about you that he just couldn’t explain.

He took his notebook, or so called the infamous “Sex Note” that only he knew about. He was looking at the pages of the girls he had slept with and then he saw your name. He stared at it.

“I’m gonna make you mine, Y/N” he whispered as he looked down at your name a smirk appeared on his face. “You’re gonna scream my name, you’re just gonna scream..” he whispered. Closed the notebook and put it back to small secret pocket that he had inside his jacket.

Later that day you were talking with your friend Blair. Just as you were talking Roger captured your eyes.

“Hello ladies,” He looked at you as he spoke to both of you “Sorry to interrupt you. But may I invite you to this party tomorrow? My house, 6pm. Would be a pleasure to have you.” Just as he gave both of you an invitation his fingers lightly brushed against your arm. Indeed, it would be a pleasure, you thought to yourself and laughed it off.

“Let’s go!” Blair said.

“I mean, we have nothing better to do anyways. It’s also weekend, no exams, I think we can have some fun,” You said, agreeing to Blair, giving her a warm nice smile and continued with the conversation you had earlier.

Later that day was all filled with Roger giving you looks, winks, smirks anything through a distance. After every lecture he would kinda follow you, but mostly be in the same area as you and smirk at you. You did the same. You played the same cards, same game. Then and there you would maybe accidentally spill your water when you drink and seductively pick it up with your finger and lick it up from your finger. You made sure Roger would see all those times. And when he watched it, you kinda gave him look of ‘this could be you’. He was so into that, he just wanted to feel you, if he could he would dick you down there, he didn’t even pay attention to what his friends were saying, he was more invested in your moves. You liked it. After all lectures you headed to one professor to ask his opinion on this idea that you had.

The auditorium was closed. ‘Shit’ you thought to yourself, because you wanted to start working on it this weekend - tomorrow. Oh well, maybe you should give yourself some rest, you thought.

Just as you were walking to exit all in your thoughts you saw, of course, the one and only Mr. Steal Your Girl standing and looking at you, walking closer to you. Well, I could have some fun with you, you thought and waited for what was about to happen, what was he about to do.

“How was your day, baby? You look stressed, looks like you need something to release your stress,” he said flirty, his hand moved to your face, his fingers brushed through your jawline and neck. “Hmm?” he leaned in closer and whispered in your ear, making you shiver. “What games are you playing?” He was so close to you, at this point you could feel his breath on your neck. He put his lips on your neck, his hand travelling lower and lower, his other hand was holding your waist.

“N-not h-here T-Tay-lor-r..” you said in a quiet pant, almost moaning, your head falling back. Just as his another hand was travelling he went all up to your neck, slightly choking you while still planting sloppy, wet kisses down your neck, no hickeys just wet, sloppy kisses.

Just by that you let out a quiet moan. He heard it.

“You want me to stop?” he said and that moan drove him crazy. Just by that moan, his hand travelled to your thigh, he was going up and down your thigh, each time closer to your heat.

“Tell me to stop and i’ll stop.” he whispered in your ear and licked your neck. “Say it. Say ‘Stop Roger’ and i’ll stop.” He smirked and continued with his actions. You wanted him to stop but at the same time you didn’t. You decided to enjoy a little more. Your hands were all in his hair. Just as his hand travelled from your thigh to your lips, his fingers were close to your mouth, you put one of his fingers in your mouth and started sucking on it, twirling it in your mouth, he let out a groan “Fuck..” his other arm that was holding your waist, squeezed you and then he removed his finger and just as he was about to close the gap between you two with his lips on yours, you were ready and in fact, you leaned more, chasing his lips, he moved his hands and stopped everything. Leaving you frustrated and desperate for more, desperate for him.

“See you at the party, pretty little thing.” He smirked and whispered to you. With those words he left. You needed to process what just happened. Damn.. You thought to yourself. Boy has moves.

Oh, of course, you will be at the party. You smirked to yourself and with that, you left the building.

~~~

“It’s gonna be a wild night” you said to yourself, while looking in the mirror. You wore not much, but quite a revealing dress to the party that Roger invited you and Blair to.

You and Blair arrived. Ringed on the door and immediately, Mr. Flirt opened the door.

“Ladies. Good to see you! Come in!” He opened the door and greeted both of you. As you were walking past him he slightly touched your butt, you looked at him and saw him smirking.

Blair excused as she went to her boyfriend and his friends. So it was only you and him. You liked this idea and he liked it too.

“Smoke?” he offered to you. You went to this area in his house, where nobody was in, you could only hear Led Zeppelin playing in the background through the walls. You lighted up your cigarette and offered to light his too.

“Fire?” you asked. He nodded and you proceeded to light his cigarette.

“You know, there is a saying, that if someone lights your cigarette for you, that means they want to sleep with you.” With those words he put his arm on your tight and slightly squeezed it.

“Oh, really? What else do they say?” You played along and said in the same calm, seductive voice. You leaned closer to him, cigarette in your other arm, Roger’s hand slowly going up and down your inner tight. “What else. Do they say?” you whispered to his ear licked on his jawline. You knew you were playing with fire, but you didn’t care. “Hmm?” you repeated your act, this time you put your cigarette to the side as your other hand were travelling to his hair. “Ahh.. Roger..” you let out a moan his hand on your tight squeezed it harder this time. “Oh, Roger..” you said playfully in a higher voice seductively to him. Roger flipped you. So now he was on top, facing you. He had cigarette in his other hand that he extinguished. Now his one hand was on your thigh and other hand’s finger was on your lip, quieting you, while you licked the tip of his finger. Roger let out a groan.

“Don’t start something you won’t be able to finish, babygirl.” He said and bit your neck lightly, you let out a small moan, you wanted him. Wanted him to touch you, to kiss you.

“You’ve been driving me crazy, these past days,” he said to you as he leaned closer to you. “No other girl has ever did that to me.” He said as he was so close to you, you could feel his hot breath on your face. You could feel his cologne. You wanted him to act on you, again. “The things that you did in hallway..”He looked into your eyes with lust “You’re going to pay for them, babygirl.” Just with those words he kissed you. The kiss was intense, lustful, he wanted you and you wanted him. In fact, he was hungry for you. His hand was rubbing your thigh and with every movement he went closer to your heat. You were getting wetter and wetter with his every movement. You were already so wet, aching for him. He then proceeded to kiss your neck, you could feel yourself dampen even more, you wanted him to touch you, now. As his hand touched your clit through your panties, you shivered and moaned. Roger noticed how wet you were.

“Damn, baby. Already so wet? I didn’t even do much.” He smirked and proceeded in kissing you and still was rubbing your thigh. You let out a soft moan. Roger loved how powerless you were under his touch.

“What a beautiful dress. You know, they say, that prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off, love.” With those words he kissed your neck but this time he left some marks after him. He was teasing your clit. And you were already a moaning mess. Roger loved it.

With no time you were only in your panties and bra, all exposed for him. He ran his fingers through your body, you shivered. You were melting under his touch. Gosh.. You decided to mess with the Blonde for a bit, even though you wanted him now and your heated clit needed him to do something with that wet mess. You turned around, so now you were on top. Your one hand in his hair and your lips on his. You went down to his neck, left couple marks while Roger let out a moan. You went lower and lower. And here you were slightly massaging Roger’s hard member through fabric. Damn, he’s hard, it probably hurts too. You thought to yourself. And with no time you went in. You made sure you had an eye contact with Roger as you started to tease his already hard as rock cock. You licked the tip and Roger let out a groan “F u c k . . ” he moaned. With that you proceeded to tease him and Roger was getting more impatient and cursing under his breath. “You’re gonna pay for this babygirl.” With those words, he was quick to switch positions, you weren’t even able to start sucking on him.

“You still drive me crazy, Y/N.” He said and started to kiss your neck again, but this time he was more rough, his other hand was between your legs slightly rubbing circles on your clit, that turned you into a moaning mess. “All these thoughts of you.” He said between kisses. “I’m gonna ruin you, Y/N.” you loved this dirty talk, with every word you’d become wetter and wetter. You needed him inside of you so badly. Your hands were all in his hair. Roger was now leaving kisses and hickeys all over your body, he unleashed your bra and went lower and lower. He was now between your legs. He was kissing your thighs, inside of them, getting closer to your heat, but he would always miss your clit and would go to kiss your other thigh. You were moaning and you needed him so badly to touch you there. But he didn’t. He kept teasing you.

“R-Roger-ah” you moaned.

“I’m not Roger. I’m daddy for you.” he said and this thought drove you crazy and in fact, it drove him crazy too.

He had this ‘Sex Note’ because of his daddy issues, he had all those names in there, because he was searching for someone like you. And in fact, you had those daddy issues too.

“D-d-ahh-ddy p-please” you whined. When Roger heard you say this, it flickered something in him and he went all beast mode. The way you said it, it was like music to his ears. He loved how you said it. He wanted more. He really thought you were the one. With those words he finally licked you. It was angelic. But he still didn’t went all in, he still haven’t dived into that pussy.

“What, love?” He said. “Say it l o u d e r .” He demanded. You decided that you can’t take it anymore and you did what he said. Even though it was kinda hard to make sentences you said it louder.

“P-please dad-dy, i-i-“ you couldn’t finish because Roger was edging you, teasing you so much. A huge smile/grin appeared on his face, he liked how ‘daddy’ sounded in your mouth.

“What, love? What do you want? Say it, say for daddy, say it for roger” for roger? you thought to yourself, but it didn’t matter, you wanted and needed him so badly.

“I-i need you daddy, i-i want to feel you, p-please..” you whined. With no time Roger put his head between your legs. He went all in, he basically dived into it and every moan you let, made him even more crazy, more rough and intense, he loved how he made you moan all these things with only his tongue. You were so close, so close.. You started to chase his lips with your hips, that signalled Roger that you were close. He stopped. And went to kiss you.

“Oh no, baby, not like that.” he grinned. “I repeat i’m going to ruin you, love.” With those words he slid into you. He started nice and slow, his head buried into your neck, sucking on your soft spot. You enjoyed and loved how he was filling you up. You were enjoying every single part of him. He fastened his pace and his other hand was choking you slightly, but all this made you even more close to your high.

“Say my name, love.” He whispered to your ear and was now sucking on your ear, going to your jawline and neck. Your nails were digging into him, you couldn’t really hear what he was saying, you were more into how good he made you feel. “Say. My. Name. Love” he said all dominant and still sucking on your neck, in fact, he was sucking everywhere he could, he just wanted to mark you. For you, it was just a one night stand, but for him, strangely, it was something more, he wanted to mark you so badly. He had never did that to any other girl that he had slept with. He would just leave wet kisses but no hickeys, no marks.

“R-Roger..” you moaned enjoying yourself, getting closer to your high.

“That’s not my name. How did i told you to call me?” He said in low tone, panting yet demanding.

“Daddy..” you murmured.

“That’s right, love. Now say it louder. Scream it.” He said with a smirk and enjoying himself, admiring your body, the hickeys he left and how good they looked on you.

“Dad-dy-” you almost screamed. Roger loved to hear this from you. He loved how it sounded. He loved how it came from your mouth. With that word he went even faster, it kinda hurt but it didn’t. He was getting close and so were you. He even got his hand to rub circles on your clit for more stimulation. You came first. Then Roger. He came on your tummy. He kissed you, this time kiss was slow and sloppy, you could feel smirk appearing on Roger’s face. What is he planning now? You thought to yourself.

“Oh, almost forgot. I’m going to clean you up.” He smirked and went down on you.

He was doing it so good. His tongue. Oh boy. You were a moaning mess. He loved it and so did you. Not much time passed by as you came again. As you were now trying to remove your clit from Roger’s face, while he was still sucking on your very sensitive clit and was holding you really tight. You couldn’t get his head out.

“I’m not finished.” He said all dominant. Pinning you down harshly so you couldn’t do anything to remove his arms around your legs. With that he proceeded to lick and suck your clit even more intense. You were now screaming because of overstimulation. He loved it. That’s what he wanted. To ruin you. “Taste so good..” He proceeded in licking you. It took only 5 minutes for you to reach your 3rd orgasm. With that, he finished. He was collecting your juices now and this time for real was cleaning you up. He went to kiss you, giving you a taste of your own juices.

You both layed now in the room that smelled like sex and cigarettes. Your body was hurting.

You tried to stand up but it was hard to walk. Roger noticed that. A grin appeared on his face. He liked what he did to you. After some time both of you dressed up and went back to the party after like what? 5 hours?

“Looks like nobody missed us, huh?” He said with a grin on his face and let out a laugh.

“Well, Taylor, thank you for the night, didn’t knew you were into kinky games.” You said and leaned to his ear as you whispered. Roger got shivers and got a bit turned on but it was controllable. “Bye, daddy.” you said as you left his house.

Roger was standing all in awe. He knew that you were the one. And it was first time that girl fulfilled his fantasies this good. He wanted you. Not only as a Sex Note Girl or a one night stand, he wanted to get to know you better. He just wanted you. He wanted you to be his and only his, he couldn’t think of you with someone else.

~~~

You came to the lecture. Covered your hickeys with makeup and a scarf as a ‘fashion statement’ this is what you would say to all your friends. You didn’t really think of Roger, because you knew that it was just another night with a girl for him and so you sighed and did the same. Didn’t really think much. But you did had one of the best sex so far.

~~~

This whole week Roger was following you, playing the same game that he did before the party, but this time he was kinda nervous around you. Not as confident. Roger liked you. He wanted to get to know you better. You were surprised this whole week he hadn’t slept with nobody. In fact, he was ignoring every girl, which was strange. But he didn’t ignore you.

“Hey. Would you like to get coffee after?” You were distracted from your thoughts by a familiar voice of.. Roger? Did he really just asked you that? Coffee? What?

“Uhm.. I-“ just before you were able to finish the sentence he placed his lips on yours and pushed you to the wall.

“Please.” He said still close to you as ever.

You looked around and nobody was around so you started on your act.

“Oh.. ha-ha. What do you want, Taylor?” you said as your hand started playing with his hair.

“I-I want you.” he said as he leaned for another kiss before you stopped him.

“So..” you said leaning closer to his ear “..the infamous Roger Taylor wants me?” you teased and whispered to his ear and gave a lick to his neck.

“You drive me so fucking crazy, Y/N..” He said it in calm, low, seeuctive voice that turned you on a bit. You proceeded with your act and Roger groaned, a grin appeared on your face. Little did you know this would trigger Roger for a bigger act, that nobody was expecting on.

“Listen, Love. I want you. You drove me crazy before the party and after the party i just can’t get you out of my head. I want to know you. I want to be the one for you. You still drive me crazy. You do things to me that..that.. God..” he groaned. Oh.. So Roger wants me? You could feel your heart beating faster and your stomach just going wild. You could feel butterflies? But you didn’t know that Roger felt same too. “Listen.. I know i’m not this kind of dude you would want, you deserve much better guy than me. But you wrapped me around that pretty little finger of yours and I want to be with you.” He grabbed your hand and planted a kiss. “Please.” He repeated “I want you to be mine. Mine and only. I can’t even think of you with someone else and I know this isn’t the best place to ask you out, but.. Let’s date, Y/N. I will be the best guy for you. I-“ just before he was able to finish you kissed him.

“Oh, just shut up” you smiled and proceeded to kiss him.

“I’ll take it as a yes?” he looked at you with confusion. You said nothing but looked at him. Looked at his eyes.

“Just say yes or yes,” he joked with a warm smile on his face.

“Yes, Roger. It’s a yes.” Roger couldn’t really believe what just happened so he just kissed you. His hand was travelling to your waist as he pulled you even closer. He was so happy. Roger couldn’t believe that you were now his. He now set all these things for himself so he will be the best boyfriend, the best friend, the best lover for you.

As you both left the building, Roger grabbed your hand and locked your fingers with his.

“Y/N IS MINE!” he screamed as loud as he could. You laughed.

“Shhh, don’t be that loud!” You playfully punched him.

“I’m not that loud like you were that day,” he teased you and smirked. You gave him a look but he just couldn’t help himself. He just was so happy.

~~~

Couple weeks went by and Roger, the second day when he asked you out, told his parents about you and today you’re gonna meet them. Roger also told you about the Sex Note and it became an inside joke between you two.

You were putting lipstick on as Roger came and hugged you from behind that made you smile.

“You’re gonna meet my parents tonight, love. You’re the first girl that I ever told my parents about and also the first and only one who’s gonna meet them.” He said with a smile. His hand travelled to your inner thigh and went closer to your clit. He started to rub it through fabric as he gave a kiss to your neck that made you fall your head back and let out a moan. After he stopped he said:

“We’re gonna have some fun tonight.” he smirked and let you know that tonight is gonna be wild. Well, you didn’t mind it though. After some couple kisses that Roger gave you, he left the room with a giant smirk. You knew, that the night really is gonna be wild. Who know’s what’s he is planning.. This thought of him made you more desperate for his touch, your panties slowly started to dampen.

“Let the fun begin.” you murmured under your breath after you finished applying lipstick in the mirror.

“You’re coming, love?” Roger shouted waiting for you.

“Yes, daddy,” you replied.

———————————————————————

Tell me what you think!

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2019

Or that annual New Year’s meme about yours truly.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? Had abdominal surgery! I spent most of April either doped up or unconscious. Long story short, I had an ovarian cyst that they thought was twice as big as my fist. So they fast-tracked me to surgery, and discovered that while I did have an ovarian cyst that was pretty large, most of the issue was that my bowel had fused to my uterine wall. Or was it abdominal wall? Either way, my bowel was glued to where it shouldn’t be and very angry because it had a fairly large pre-cancerous polyp in it. Which I found out a week after the abdominal surgery, when I had to have a colonoscopy. Which leads me to...

Had to do three different bowel preps in less than a month! It’s really not fun, guys. But, I got a cyst removed, a polyp removed, a metric fuckton of endo removed, and got my bowel back where it should be. Also, they confirmed that I can have babies! Which I didn’t know I was so fucked up about until I started crying about it post surgery.

Oh, also I peed in a bedpan. That’s also something I’ve never done before. And and and, been sick on Christmas! - Adding Tanya later in this post means I remembered something else I’d never done before - jumped into a pool fully dressed. Then became... no longer dressed.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Still don’t remember what my resolution was which- hey, 2020 Heather! Your 2019 resolution is to legitimately lose weight (she says while eating cotton candy ice cream out of the tub) and quit smoking again. Also, maybe be engaged. But mostly, the weight and the smoking thing. 

As for 2019 resolutions- I can guess what they were, which probably boiled down to losing weight. I put on about 20 pounds after surgery and haven’t lost it, because shocker, abdominal surgery really fucks with your core strength. Pretty sure there was something in there about reading 100 books (done), beating 4 games (done), and write something original (done? technically?) and/or novel-length (negative). 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? High school people and a few old coworkers. Nick’s cousin and his wife just had their third kid though. I think it may have actually happened on Christmas. 4. Did anyone close to you die? No.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries. Went to North Carolina for our possible last beach vacation. In January we’re going to Vegas for our friend’s wedding, which will be interesting. They’re getting married on a ferris wheel by an Elvis impersonator. May also go to Maine this year, but not sure yet because I only have a certain amount of vacation time. 

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Didn’t get a ring, yet. But we’ll see. We also didn’t get the house yet, so lets recycle those wants! Also, while we’re shooting big here, how about a better goddamn president?

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Started my second big girl job on November 18th. Had surgery on April 12th. Not a whole lot else stands out. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Got a new job! With more money and more responsibility and will look really good on a resume! Didn’t kill myself? Which sounds pretty morbid, but I had a lot of pain in my life earlier in the year. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Not... losing... weight? Because I really need to do that. The heartburn bullshit will likely go away. The sleep apnea thing will likely go away. Your health in general will improve. And you don’t even like food that much anyway!  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I think I’ve had the flu twice this year and again, abdominal surgery, so yes. 11. What was the best thing you bought? I got nice clothes? Most of the other shit has been knick-knacks. I got more books. A new bookshelf!  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know. Mine, I guess. I mean, 2019 wasn’t the worst, but it definitely has not been great.  13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I have a friend. Let’s call her Amanda. Yeah, her. She’s blown us off a lot this year, which really sucks. The rest of it is her own decisions that only affect us because it’s inevitably going to affect her in a terrible way, but the blowing us off and only using us as passes for free food and ways to do her laundry really sucks.

14. Where did most of your money go? Surgery! My OOP may have been met in April, but the surgery itself was $48,000. I’ve only had to pay about $6,000 because my OOP was 5k, but that still hurts. And my dental sucks, which means I paid out of my ass to fix my teeth. Also, I bought way too many clothes and books. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I do still appreciate having a job with decent money. The new job will have insurance after my 90 day probation period (yeah, because you can’t have health care for 3 months even if you work in health care because you’re new). I’m glad that I caught the polyp before it became cancerous. I was happy I could have babies. I got excited about the new His Dark Materials series and The Witcher series and Kingdom Hearts 3 and God of War, and probably at least a couple other fandom things.

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? Face My Fears. Curse of the I-5 Corridor. Hadestown soundtrack. Transistor soundtrack. Wasteland, Baby! album. Billie Eilish in general. Lark of My Heart. But mostly, Face My Fears and Don’t Think Twice. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Sadder, probably? 2019 wasn’t great. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.  iii. richer or poorer? Technically probably on par with where I was last year? I didn’t save quite as much as I wanted to with the surgery happening. Also, my car needed some pricey repairs this year. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I do wish I’d written more this year, but I wrote a lot in October. Possibly more than the last two years combined, which was nice. And I read a lot. I kind of wish I slept more. Or ate better. Or worked out more. I’m just really tired this year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spent less time with doctors? But I mean, taking care of myself is good and I’ve never had that option before.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it mostly sleeping. We got a bug that was either a really bad cold or a flu, so I’ve spent the last week generally shitty and sweaty and tired. First year that we haven’t been able to do Christmas basically at all. But we spent the hours between 6pm on Christmas Eve and 10am Christmas morning have the most restless goddamn sleep in the world and then opened presents and watched Love Actually and some television (the last two episodes of the Witcher!) while kind of napping on the couch, and ordered Chinese because it was hungry and the only thing open. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Think I’m going to make the pirozki on Sunday, and then we’re doing a gift exchange with some of our friends at his mom’s house. 22. Did you fall in love in 2019? Eh. Still love him.  23. Best month for you this year? Clearly me having a good 2018 while everyone else had a shitty one guaranteed 2019 to be shit, because I honestly don’t fucking know. October was nice. So was August. But fuck most of the rest of it.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2019? Russian Doll, Glow, The Dragon Prince, Good Omens, Schitt’s Creek, The Terror, Chernobyl, Buzzfeed Unsolved, She-Ra, His Dark Materials, The Witcher... 2019 may have been a meh year, but it had some good shows. Of those, I think my favorite was probably either The Witcher or Good Omens, with His Dark Materials, Russian Doll, and The Terror tying for third. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Eh.

26. What was the best book you read? Red, White, & Royal Blue was probably my favorite. I also read Sanderson’s books this year though, which were also absolutely amazing. Mistborn and The Stormlight Archive were wonderful. It was a pretty great year for books too. Books and TV, well done 2019. Middlegame, The Ninth Gate, a lot of rereads. Best one was still Red, White, & Royal Blue though. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Do Utada Hikaru’s new Kingdom Hearts anthems count? Because Spanish Sahara by Foals, Obstacles by Syd Matters, the new Hozier album, and the Hadestown soundtrack were all wonderful musical discoveries. 28. What did you want and got? I don’t know. New clothes? A laptop? Confirmation that my ovaries work?

29. What did you want but didn’t get? Well, I lost the bet with Brandon. No ring by the end of 2019. No kids, either, but we aren’t quite there yet. No house. No perfect health? Is that a thing?

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I liked Into the Spiderverse a lot. Detective Pikachu. Rocketman.Frozen 2. Endgame was all right. I didn’t hate the new Star Wars. Toy Story 4. IT. It wasn’t a super great movie year for me.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? The big 3-0. It was all right. The night before we went to Fujiyamas with a couple of our friends, then on my birthday we had breakfast at First Watch, did some Christmas shopping, and went to the Zoo Lights a little after 5. Froze to death because it was snowing and shocker, when snow melts you get wet, but it was nice. Then had a late dinner at Mackenzie River, because it was one of the only places still open and close to our place.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hah! A better president and a ring is the only thing that I didn’t get from my wishes last year. ----Hmmmmm 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? I did not give up and buys Scrubs. Instead I have a perhaps slightly oversized work appropriate selection of jeans (for Fridays), work slacks, blouses/sweaters, dresses, and skirts. I spent a little too much on clothes this year. I blame discovering Torrid. 34. What kept you sane? Reading was really, really great this year. - STILL leaving this answer, three years running! 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? David Tenant made a shocking comeback after Good Omens aired. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789. —– Ayyyyy, this was my response from last year, and apparently also the year before and the one before! Hello past me’s, don’t worry, it’s still getting worse. 37. Who did you miss? Myself. Also, my brother, who is still in jail almost a year later and still no fucking trial. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I don’t know. Oh! I do know! I really like Tanya. 

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Tanya is awesome and pretty and fun and possibly at least a little bit crazy, but we all fucking are, come on. She got to come with us on vacation this year and it really made it interesting. Also, Shay and Alicia. I knew them last year, but got to know them pretty well this year.

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

Took this one about 20 minutes after midnight on January 1st, 2019 after my first successful round of Battleshots. The hat went to the winner. It is not the most flattering picture, because I had been drinking already before I had to take four shots of Satan’s cinnamon liquor.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

Taken on my birthday, at the zoo. Again, snow melts.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Not sure? There’s not a whole lot of new food we haven’t tried. One of the pharmacists brought in some authentic Indian food for one of the potlucks we had and I don’t remember what it was called but it had rice and eggs and was amazing.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I don’t know. We saw both Hamilton and Les Mis this year and they both reduced me to tears. I also had some good moments with books and tv shows I watched with Nick.

44. What are you excited for next year? There’s a couple new books. The election. Some tv shows, I think? Games? I don’t know, man. I’m trying not to come off as horribly depressed but I am kind of pretty depressed and nobody will ever know because the only person who ever gets this far into reading these things is me, so- hello 2020 me, you were really sad on December 26th 2019 and honestly for most of the year, so I sure hope 2020 is the year that we fucking seize life by the horns or however that saying goes.

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I feel like my message from last year is fucking taunting me. Legit though, this is not the worst thing you’ve ever been through. You have a boyfriend who loves you, two wonderful cats that better not fucking die anytime soon, and like, I don’t know, working ovaries. A job. A car. An apartment that has a kind of shitty kitchen and a bath tub that might as well not exist, but is still an apartment! Which is more than some people have! 

I guess my message from last year (it gets better) is in almost direct opposition of this year, which is basically: it could always be worse. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Feed me sunlight, feed me air In a place where nothing matters Feed me truth and feed me prayer

(seriously, deliriously happy 2018 me quoting singin’ in the rain is taunting me wtf)

First Fandom of 2019: January of 2019 was pretty solidly Detroit Become Human. It hit me hard. Favorite Main Character of 2019: Jonathan Sims. I was a slut for the Archivist in 2019. Favorite Villain of 2019: Elias from The Magnus Archives, maybe? My only other response would be.. dun dun dun, Ben Solo aka Kylo Ron or whatever Favorite M/F Couple of 2019: I... am back on my Reylo bullshit. Favorite F/F Couple of 2019: Can I say Villanelle and Eve even if I didn’t really dip into the fandom? No? Okay, Catra and Adora. Favorite M/M Couple of 2019: Okay, so the three that got me this year was Hank/Connor, Jon/Martin, and Ryan/Shane.  Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: Um, Buzzfeed Unsolved. Never would have guessed that one. Also like, while I would have expected Detroit Become Human I never would have guessed my favorite ship. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Sigh. Twas that Reylo smacking me in the face at the tail end of 2019. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Insert shrug? I read a weird Buzzfeed Unsolved fic above Mothman giving the guys sharable dreams (that were sometimes weird and sometimes sexy) until they boned. Last Fandom of 2019: Sighing again. Reylo. Though Yuletide has made it so I’ve read a lot of Queen’s Thief stuff. Favorite Fandom of 2019: I think that Buzzfeed Unsolved was my favorite purely from a fic standpoint, but Detroit Become Human and The Magnus Archives were both really great too.

[mare-sanguis]

Winston x Monty part 8

They walked inside the police station.

"I went down here earlier that day and made and appointment with a different cop- like I said, we cant trust Standall. Someone whos not so biased."

Winston nooded at Scotts words.

"Got the evidence, Winston?"

He nooded again. One whole folder filled with photos he took that day- filled with photos of Monty and him. And his camera.

"Good."

Then they were greeted by an officer.

"Come with me- this will take a while because the case was closed already."

They followed him. The door closed behind them.

They started at around 5 pm.

"So why bringing this case uo again even though it was already closed?"

"Well because they pinned it on the wrong guy, trying to cover up a crime."

"What makes you think that way Mr. Reed?"

"Because we have evidence that je got pinned for it. Not enough evidence by quantity but enough evidence by quality."

"What evidence?"

"Thats why we're here."

Winston put the folder on the table. As well as the camera.

"Theres my evidence. All with a time stamp. If you think I'm lying- heres my camera."

The officer blinked at him.

"I'll take a look." He grabbed the folder and opened it up.

"Be carefull with them."

Winston said with a dark voice.

"Why are you both even so determinded to tell the truth? He was a criminal either way."

Scott side-eyed Winston for some seconds.

"Why should we not be? I mean, you're a cop. You there to find out the truth."

Winston nooded.

"The other reason is because hes innocent in this case."

"So what do you got me?" The officer asked, turning his gaze at Scott.

He was silent for some seconds. Knowing that hes about to get dragged into this case whole if he starts talking now.

"I got this." Then he placed the paper bag on the desk.

"Theres another bag inside. You should open it."

The officer took the bal and pulled another one out. This one was transparent.

There it was- the tape the police was looking for.

"You took it? You know, after Deputy Standall got the information that we should take a look at his locker again for a tape.... we went there and there was no tape."

"And still- Monty got blamed for his murder." Winston whispered.

"How long do you have it? How did you get it?"

Scott sighed.

"The truth is- I heard them talking. Then I saw how someone placed something inside his locker. I got it now for at least 4 days. Unsure what to do."

"Why didnt you came earlier?"

"Because I was afraid."

The officer nooded- not buying any of it.

"I dont know if I can believe you. Any proof that someone really placed it there?"

"Yes. I have." He pulled out his phone.

"Photo and video. Hope thats enough."

Winston sat there in silence, impressed that he filmed this whole thing.

"Why didnt you interfere?"

"Because everyone makes mistakes ans mine was that I didnt interfere. How should I know that they success with this shitty plan?"

At around 6pm they finished looking through the evidence. At first Winstons photos, than his camera and after that Scotts proof. The tape still laying on the desk. Untouched.

The cop quickly glanced up at them, finally taking the plasic bag with the tape in his hands.

"And I thought this case was solved."

He sighed.

"Guess we have to roll it up again."

At around 6:45 pm they were still at the cops station. Taking about the evidence back and forth.

The officer was obviously trying to make them nervous.

But non of them two were buying it.

"So. How did Monty died in jail?"

This question was all he wanted to get answered. He just wanted to know.

"You do know that already. We told you as you visited us 4 days ago."

"The truth."

"I cant tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because youre not one of his family."

Winstons blood was boiling.

"I am not?"

"Actually- he is. As far as I can tell, Winston was more Montys family than his real parents. He was there for him." Scott intefered, he felt how Winston got angry.

"I guess they already know?"

"Yes. They do."

"And I think they dont care."

Winstons stopped listening for some seconds. He just couldnt take this anymore.

The officer went silent and sighed.

"They told us wr can do what ever wr want to do with him. They dont want him near them."

Winston was now furious.

"Tell us. Now. The truth. Not the shit you guys told the media." he leaned forward, looking the man across the table right in the eyes.

"You really want to know. Fine."

The officer sighed again.

"Suicide. By hanging."

Winstons heart stopped beating- at least it felt like that.

"You're kidding."

"No. Its the truth."

His dark eyes filled up with tears, knowing that he could've helped him.

"I dont think you want to see the proof."

Winston said nothing. Instead, he stood up.

"Because you let his father visit him- even though it was damn obvious they hate each other. Useless... you're all so goddamn useless. Helping people? What ever. Helping the rich? Hell yeah. Helping the poor? What ever. He got beaten up at home- there was enough evidence out there that he suffered at home. But like so many people didnt care. Not once."

He was all anger and rage.

"As long as someones rich you help them. You all dont care about the poors. Disgusting."

He stormed out of the station. He couldnt keep it cool any longer. He fucking misses Monty.

Winston was standing outside, breathing heavily. His hands ran through his hair. And it started to rain.

Inside the police station Scott said his goodbye to the officer, making sure they would meet again tomorrow. Coming back with the names of everyone involved in this cover up. Then he made his way outside. He saw Winston still standing there. Getting wet from the rain.

"Is everything ok?" He pulled out an umbrella and handed it Winston.

"No. Nothing is fine! I'm so fucking mad- last time I was this mad, Ani told me "he was already gone" and I wasnt even that mad back then! I guess I was never this mad in my whole life like I'm now!"

He closed his eyes, breathed out and clenched his hands into fists.

"I'm not even mad at the cops...but at me."

"Why'd you be mad at yourself? You did the best you could do."

"Maybe I didnt."

"Why?"

"Because... the day he died I visited him. And hours later he was found dead. I got a call from Ani- she told me he got arrested. I obviously knew this already and was already on my way to the jail they placed him in. They let me visit him. I talked to him... for like 5 minutes. Everything was so rushed. He told me he wanted to turn himself in. But someone else was faster. He revealed that his father was there too. He behaved disturbed talking about his father- he said that he told his father about his preferences.... and how he reacted. I... didnt noticed at that moment that he was suicidal. I never noticed. Not even when he was with me the whole weekend. I promised him I would help him to get the help he needs. He smiled a soft quick smiled, thanked me. But I still was to late. He mad his decision. Way befor I visited him. His soul was so broken."

"Shit." Scott let out

"How... did his father reacted...?"

Winston tried to calm down.

"This fucking monster spat in his sons face. I want to end his life so bad but I know killing wont help anyone. And that wont redeem Monty. Death is to good for this piece of shit father, he wont suffer if hes dead. And he needs to suffer."

"We will get him too- I promise. You're not at fault about what happened. You arent to blame about his death. You did your best... and I think Monty did know that until his last breath. And he still knows."

"I dont want to let him go- I dont know if I can ever let him go."

"You dont have to. Keep him in your heart. The officer told me that we can make out a deal tomorrow so we're in charge about his funeral..."

"At least one good news."

[harry-sussex]

Then Carole could have talked about the business without bringing up Catherine. But she did. You can have your opinion but you should probably understand that it’s biased. Jessica hasn’t mentioned Meghan by name and she “acknowledged her friendship with Meghan” years before Harry was in the picture through social media. And Serena Williams does not need Meghan. She is a household name with a networth that is about 9 times more than William and Harry’s combined.

Serena could talk about her fashion without bringing up Meghan too, see how that works?  Why does it have to be a competition?  Why can’t you just not give a fuck about what the Middletons do and stick to what you prefer?  Why come here and try this crap?  Do you even follow this blog?

Now, to prove you wrong (this is my favorite part):

Direct quote from the interview, when asked about her royal connections: “Over the years, it’s proved wise not to say anything.” - Carole Middleton

A paragraph about the Middleton children’s role in Party Pieces (italics = words spoken directly by Carole):

James would get picked up – very occasionally by someone else – and come back to the office and be here with me,’ continues Carole. ‘I was often finished by 6pm and I didn’t have a long train journey. I think it’s really good to work. It was part of the children’s lives – it still is – and they’d come and help. They did a lot of modelling. Catherine was on the cover of one of the catalogues, blowing out candles. Later on, she did some styling and set up the First Birthday side of the business. Pippa did the blog. I still value their ideas and opinions.

Note that in her own words, Carole directly mentions each of her children by name exactly once.  No preference is given to Catherine in the words of her mother.

The first part of the article (x) (in the words of both Lisa Armstrong and Carole herself) mentions Catherine, Pippa, and James 13, 7, and 5 times respectively.  Carole directly mentions Catherine in her own words 3 of those 13 times.  Of the 3, two are in reference to her being their firstborn (”I got married at 25, had Catherine at 26…”;  “We stayed there until Catherine was 13...”) and one is in reference to the work Catherine did for Party Pieces, the point of the interview (see above).  Pippa and James are each mentioned by name by Carole once in the paragraph above, in reference to the work they did for Party Pieces, again the point of the interview.  She doesn’t mention either Pippa or James in reference to being their firstborn because, newsflash, neither Pippa nor James is the firstborn - Catherine is.  

The second article:

Mentions the spouses (or theoretically spouses) of all three of her children equally:

I have two lovely sons-in-law and... I hope I’ll have a lovely daughter-in-law. 

When asked about her involvement in her daughters’ weddings:

We talked about music… everything. I was involved lots with both Pip’s and Catherine’s weddings. But I think the most important thing, as a parent, is to listen to what your daughter wants. You can have all the ideas in the world, but it has to be about them. And don’t muscle in on the guest list... Like every mother, I wanted to look my best, make my children proud and enjoy the day. I honestly don’t think I was any more stressed than any other mother-of-the-bride.

When asked, specifically, about Catherine alone:

I have two other children and grandchildren and my job, and I lead a lot of my life round here, where I’ve lived for years and people knew me before Catherine’s… impact. It isn’t normal maybe to go to Louis’ christening or Catherine’s wedding, but, in the end, they’re all family events.

As you can see (if you can read), Carole gently derailed any specific questions about her royal family members by including all of her family - including her non royal son, daughter, son-in-law, hypothetical future daughter-in-law, and grandson.  She knocks them down from being “events of the century” to simply her daughter’s wedding, or her grandson’s christening.  She acknowledges it might be weird to some but it’s not weird to her because that’s her family.  She’s as equal opportunity as a mother and grandmother comes.  By that right, she didn’t talk about Catherine any more than she talked about her other children, and why wouldn’t she talk about her children?  They’re a big part of the business.  She said so herself.  If you have an issue about a businesswoman discussing her children in an interview about a business, then you have a problem with successful women who are also successful mothers.  What kind of anti-feminist bullshit is that?

Sounds to me like the Telegraph and the author of the article are exploiting Carole’s relationship with Catherine to make money, given the enormous discrepancy between the mentions of Catherine by the author and the mentions of each of her siblings (which, combined, do not add up to the number of times the Telegraph mentions Catherine by name).  

Carole Middleton is a successful wife, mother, and businesswoman.  She has as much of a right to do an interview on the occasion of the thirtieth anniversary of her successful enterprise as anyone else.  Magazines regularly interview people who have accomplished far less.  Why should Carole be forced to hide from the media because of her daughter and son-in-law?  She shouldn’t be.  Case closed.  You’re wrong.  Bye.

Oh and one more thing, Carole and Michael Middleton are worth about $67 million, which is nothing to scoff at.  You’re shitty if you value people based on how much money they’ve earned in a lifetime.  I never said Serena needed Meghan.  I knew who Serena Williams was years and years before I’d ever even heard of Meghan Markle (who, fun fact, I only discovered after she started dating Prince Harry).  What I said was Serena is capitalizing on the additional fame that Meghan brings - which you cannot deny is true.  Nobody was asking Serena about her friends until it was revealed that her friend was dating Prince Harry.  Serena doesn’t post when anyone else wears her line, and her line dropped 11 days after Harry and Meghan’s wedding.  Then, Meg wears her friend’s blazer - which is cool with me, btw - and Serena not only posts about it, but adds a link in her bio to have her followers shop the look - which only serves to make her more money by featuring Meghan.  Do you not see how this works?  I’m not saying Serena is dependent on Meghan for her fortune.  Far from it.  I’m saying that Serena supplements her already massive fortune, in the instance of the Instagram post, by exploiting her status as a personal friend of the Duchess of Sussex.  

So long story short, Carole can do what she wants because she’s not exploiting her relationship with Catherine, which is evidenced by her equal mentioning of all three of her children and their spouses and children in the interview granted for the thirtieth anniversary of Party Pieces, which she worked from the ground up as a successful entrepreneur and businesswoman.  Serena is also a successful entrepreneur and businesswoman but she capitalizes on her personal relationship with a member of the royal family without doing so for other famous friends (including her sister) to supplement her already massive fortune, and that’s not cool with me.

[blxckdamask]

Second fic bc my last one did surprisingly well.

Bakudeku angst with a lil fluff at the end. dont know how to write a synopsis so yall are just gonna have to read it.

word count: 4650 

Katsuki’s day was going pretty well so far. He had a day off so he caught up on housework, reorganising his and Izuku’s wardrobe, watched that new tv show he was meaning to watch and even managed to squeeze in grocery shopping with some time to relax.

It was currently 6pm and Izuku should’ve been home half an hour ago. Katsuki was starting to worry. Izuku always called him when he was going to be late, he had since they were younger and it was a habit that stuck, so him being thirty minutes late without a word had Katsuki mildly irritated and majorly worried.

Katsuki shot him a quick text asking where he was and put his phone on the coffee table just in case Izuku decides to call him. Izuku had a habit of texting back quickly, a habit that sometimes got on Katsuki’s nerves because he can never get out what he wants to say without his husband interrupting half way through with some stupid response, but in times like these he needed his husband to respond right away saying he was okay.

Katsuki checks his phone every minute, getting angrier every time. He had to physically restrain himself from blasting a hole in their new couch. He sighed angrily and ran a shaking hand through his spiky hair. Where the fuck is he?  

Another hour passes before Katsuki’s phone starts to ring. He grabbed it so fast he almost sent it across the living room. He doesn’t bother to check the caller ID before answering the call.

“Shitty nerd, where the fuck are you!? I’ve been worrying for an hour and a half and I swear to god if you aren’t home in the next ten minutes I’m going to blast your ass into next week, mark my fucking words Deku!” Katsuki screamed into the phone regretting it instantly when he heard soft whimpers and something that sounded suspiciously close to a sob on the other end.

“K-kacchan, c-can you-” Izuku groaned in pain “-can you pick m-m-me up ple-” a blood curdling scream ripped through Izuku’s throat and it made Katsuki’s blood boil. He didn’t know what was happening to Izuku and god did he want to murder the fuck out of the people that did this to him, but right now he had to focus on getting his husband home safe.

“Izuku, fuck, I’m gonna be there real soon, tell me where you are okay? Just hold on for me please” Katsuki said frantically, he heard Izuku tell him the address and before he could process what he was doing, he was jumping off the couch and grabbing his keys. He stayed on the phone, his ears focusing on the cries, whimpers and screams of his love. He didn’t bother putting a shirt or shoes on and at this rate he didn’t really care about breaking a few laws.

“Kacchan I-I need you t-t-t-to get here fast I d-don’t-t know where this b-b-blood is c-coming from. Oh god there’s so-so much” Izuku gasped in pain and Katsuki could hear him struggling to breathe, that only fueled him to go faster.

“Hang on baby, I’m on my way I’ll be there really really soon, just breathe. Take deep breaths with me okay?” Katsuki breathed in dramatically, smiling slightly when he heard Izuku do the same, he exhaled slowly, coaxing his husband to do the same.

After two or so minutes of helping Izuku breathe, he pulled up to where he was. An abandoned building on the outskirts of town, how Izuku ended up there was a mystery and not the most important thing on Katsuki’s to-do list but he made a mental note to ask him about it when he wasn’t on the brink of fucking dying.

Katsuki exited his car, regretting not putting on shoes because he immediately stepped on a piece of glass. He cursed loudly, his foot throbbing but he pushed the pain to the side, he can deal with it after. He walked rather quickly through the dark building, thanking god it was only one storey. He was still on the phone to Izuku, the noises Katsuki heard would probably haunt him forever, the screams, cries, sobs, all of it was making Katsuki sick to his stomach.

“Izuku, I’m here, tell me where you are, scream out I don’t care just tell me where you are please” Katsuki was hysterical at this point, running around like a chicken with no head, frantically trying to find his no doubt dying husband.

“I’m at the end of the hall just keep w-walking and you will find me just please-” a groan “-quickly” Izuku rasped. He hung up. Tears pricked Katsuki’s eyes as he picked up his pace, sprinting down the horror movie esque hallway. He ran for about three minutes before he saw Izuku. He sprinted towards him and dropped to his knees in front of him.

“Jesus Christ Izu,” Katsuki started, his eyes wandering to the array of injuries littering his husband’s body. His hero costume was shredded, his hair was all over the place, his arm was clearly broken and there was so much blood Kasuki didn’t know how many wounds he had, “holy fuck, what the fuck happened?” Katsuki asked although he wasn’t really expecting an answer.

“K-k-kacchan please i-it hurts s-s-so bad” Izuku gasped. His face was so sore from god knows how many injuries, his arms hurt, his abdomen was burning with white hot pain that almost made him pass out, and his head pounded so hard he thought his head was going to explode.

Katsuki gritted his teeth. “I know it does baby, I know, just hold on a little longer, we gotta get you the fuck outta here.” Katsuki moved quickly but with caution. He hooked an arm under Izuku’s knees and an arm around his waist, picking him up bridal style. Izuku gasped in pain and Katsuki winced, he’d apologise later.

“‘M sleepy Kacchan” Izuku slurred, the pain and exhaustion from trying to stay conscious hitting him all at once, the blood loss probably wasn’t helping either.

“I know but stay awake, Izu. Keep those eyes open c’mon” Katsuki said struggling to get out of the building as fast as he could without disrupting any of his husband’s injuries.

“K-kacchan,” Izuku whispered, his head falling to rest on Katsuki’s bare shoulder, “I love you”

“I love you too, Deku.” Katsuki replied looking down to see Izuku’s eyes start to shut, “Stay awake, c’mon a couple more minutes then you can sleep, I promise” He felt Izuku nod against his shoulder and he lent down to press a soft kiss on his forehead.

They finally made it outside without Izuku falling asleep. Katsuki ran to his car and opened the back door. He maneuvered the man in his arms so he could lay him down across the back seat. Once he was secured, Katsuki closed the door and raced the the driver’s side. He jumped in, turned on the car and sped down the highway towards the hospital. He held Izuku’s hand the entire way making sure he didn’t fall asleep.  

“Just a little more, Izuku. You’re doing so great, we’re almost there” Katsuki squeezed Izuku’s hand softly waiting a couple of seconds before he felt Izuku squeeze back weakly. Katsuki turned his head to look at the injured man, only to see him asleep. Katsuki swore under his breath and sped up, not really caring if he was breaking about all of the road rules, fucking give him a ticket he doesn’t give a shit the only thing he cares about is making sure his fucking husband stays alive.

—–

Once they made it to the hospital, Katsuki ran into the hospital with a limp Izuku in his arms, screaming at the top if his lungs that someone needs to help him. The almost lifeless body being cradled in his arms, the screaming and the dramatic entrance seemed to alert quite a few staff members.  About eight doctors and nurses crowded around the heros and before Katsuki could even comprehend what was going on, a nurse was taking Izuku from his arms and almost throwing him on a gurney wheeling him away. Katsuki tried to run after it but a forceful hand on his chest stopped him.

“Sir, you need to take a seat someone will be with you as soon as they can” a younger looking doctor said calmly, his hand not moving from its place on Katsuki’s bare chest. Katsuki glared at him.

“If you know what’s best for you, you’d quit touching me” Katsuki growled and the doctor quickly took his hand off his chest, muttering a quick apology.

“Please, sir you need to calm down and come with me, he’s going to be okay” the doctor tried again, more forceful this time. Katsuki ran a bloody hand through his hair but complied and followed the doctor. The room he was lead into was pretty plain. A few seats, some fucking pot plants and a tv playing some shitty reality show. Katsuki rolled his eyes and huffed.

“When can I see him?” Katsuki asked, his voice rough and forceful. The doctor sighed and turned towards him.

“Like I said before, someone will see you soon and tell you everything but right now, you need to take a seat. Now, what is the patient’s name and what is your relation to him?” The doctor said looking down at the clipboard in his hand, obviously not in the mood to deal with temperamental people at this hour.

“De-fuck, Izuku Bakugou. He’s my husband.” Katsuki finally answered, sitting down on a chair closest to the door. He looked down at the ground and remembered his foot still had glass in it and was currently bleeding onto the carpet.

“Thank you. I just need your name and I’ll send someone in as soon as i can” the doctor said, not looking up from his clipboard.

“What the fuck do you mean you need my name!? I’m the fucking number 2 hero! You should know me!”Katsuki yelled, his temper getting the better of him.

“Sir, I don’t care what your occupation is, I need your name or I’ll have to call security”

Katsuki sighed dramatically, “Katsuki Bakugou.” The doctor looked up from his clipboard and flashed the hero a smile before dashing out of the room. Katsuki sighed. He needs to tell someone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Uraraka’s number. It rang three times before she picked up.

“Hey, Katsuki! What’s up?” Her cheerful voice came through the speaker, calming Katsuki’s nerves a small bit.

“H-hey Cheeks. Um, fuck, Deku is in the hospital and he, um, isn’t looking too good” Katsuki managed to choke out, his eyes starting to well up with tears. The adrenalin wearing off and all of the exhaustion and emotion hitting him at once.

“What!?”, he had to pull his phone away from his ear in fear of becoming deaf with how loud she screamed, “What the fuck do you mean Deku is in the hospital?”

“I mean he’s in the fucking hospital, damn woman learn how to fucking listen. He got really fucked on a small one day mission and now he’s at the hospital” Katsuki said, the bite in his voice not really present as he was trying to hold back tears. He didn’t cry very often if at all but he deemed this situation to be a pretty reasonable excuse.

Ochako gasped. “What happened? How did you find him? Did you call Inko?” her questions came at rapid speed, Katsuki had to take several moments to figure out what she actually said before he answered her.

“I don’t know what happened he was bleeding out and I didn’t get the chance to ask him since I was more focused on making sure my husband didn’t fucking die in an abandoned fucking building!” Katsuki screamed, alerting some patients and people in the waiting room but he didn’t care, he was too angry to care. He did, however, regret his tone when he heard soft sobs coming from the phone. “Ochako, I’m, fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you. Shitty Deku getting himself almost killed is a lot to take in right now.”

Ochako sighed. “I know and I’m sorry you even have to go through this. Have you gotten any updates from the doctors?”

“No, we got here about ten minutes ago and then a shitty doctor told me to wait in an empty room which is starting to creep me the fuck out” Katsuki replied, a soft smile appearing on his face when he heard a small giggle coming from the phone.

“Do you want me to be there? It’s fine if you don’t want me to, I just don’t like the thought of you being alone.” Ochako asked, even though she sounded like she was begging Katsuki to let her come. Katsuki sighed and ran a hand down his face, leaving a trail of blood.

“Fine, but on your way can you bring me some clothes, I’m kinda only in pants right now.” Katsuki said, his face heating up with embarrassment. He heard Ochako giggle.

“Okay. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. See you soon” Ochako hung up before Katsuki could thank her. He sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. As if on queue, a nurse walked through the door, a bright, obviously fake, smile plastered on her face.

“Alright sir, if you could come with me that would be great” she said before exiting the room. Katsuki didn’t think he could get out of a chair faster than he did. He jogged out of the room, trying to keep up with her with his injured foot. The hospital was pretty quiet considering, the only sounds being the noises from the machines and the loud talking of nurses. He felt a bit calmer now.

“Can I see him?” Katsuki asked, his voice was small and frail. He didn’t want to rush the poor nurse that looked like she’d dealt with one too many assholes today and Katsuki didn’t want to make her day any harder than it had to be, so he kept his normal loudness to a very minimum.

She turned to him when they reached the elevator and flashed him a smile. “You can see him now. He’s sleeping now but he should wake up soon” the elevator dinged and the doors opened. They stepped in and the nurse pressed the button for the fourth floor. Katsuki averted his eyes from her and looked straight ahead, his mind going a mile a minute. Katsuki heard the nurse gasp. He turned to her to see her looking at his injured foot, her eyes wide.

“Oh gosh! Your foot is bleeding. Are you okay?” she asked, her voice full of so much concern Katsuki was taken aback.

“Uh, yeah it’s just a bit of glass, I’ll be fine” he said, trying to sound confident, but in reality, his foot hurt really bad.

“Oh no sweetie, you need that looked at. I’ll send a doctor to the room as soon as we get there.” she said and the elevator doors opened.

“So what happened to him” Katsuki questioned, folding his arms across his chest. The nurse stopped in front of a room, the door was shut, making Katsuki feel uneasy.

“He has minor head trauma, his left wrist is broken, his right wrist was sprained and he has a stab wound in his right side, just above his kidney, not to worry it didn’t harm any organs. Fortunately, most of the blood wasn’t his. There is one question a couple of the doctors had. Do you know if your husband has or had any history of mental illness?” Katsuki swore he stopped breathing for a moment. Izuku having a mental illness would be completely reasonable but he would tell him about it, right?

Katsuki inhaled deeply. “Not that I know of, why?” the nurse gave him a sympathetic look. She hesitantly placed a hand on Katsuki’s arm, making him tense up but his mind was way too preoccupied with the fact that this woman just asked if Izuku was mentally fucking incapacitated.

“We ask you this because when the nurses were cutting his clothing, they found his arms riddled with scars and we feared they might be self inflicted” the nurse avoided eye contact, almost looking afraid. The blonde chuckled.

“Nah they aren’t. He scars really easily and because we’re heros, he gets injured a fuckton. Don’t worry he isn’t self harming, although he does have really bad anxiety if you need to know” Katsuki said, his voice light. The nurse smiled a genuine smile before removing her hand. She opened the door and gestured for Katsuki to walk in.

Katsuki froze not even fully through the door, his eyes fixed on the man in front of him. Izuku looked peaceful as he slept but he looked different to when he’s fall asleep beside Katsuki. Besides the obvious fact that they were in a hospital and he looked beat up, he looked as if something was bothering him, like the mission was still happening, just in his head this time. His eyebrows were knitted together and his forehead was creased. Katsuki finally got his legs to work and walked towards the right side of the bed.

“I’ll give you some time alone. Is anyone else coming?” the nurse brought his attention back to her as he sat down on a chair next to the bed.

“Um his, um, our friend is coming she should be here in like five minutes” Katsuki said as he grabbed Izuku’s hand in his own carefully, rubbing his knuckles with the pad of his thumb.

“Okay she needs to be quick though, visiting hours are up in thirty minutes. You can stay since you’re family but she has to leave, sorry.” the nurse said, giving Katsuki one final smile before exiting, closing the door behind her.

Katsuki looked down at his husband. The tears that threatened to fall before, finally falling down his face. He didn’t wipe them away, he didn’t care who saw him like this, he was just to fucking happy Izuku wasn’t dead. He brought his and Izuku’s hands to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss against the back of Izuku’s scarred hand. He heard the door open but he didn’t look away from the green haired man laying in front of him. “Hey. I got your clothes. How’s he doing?” he heard Ochako say.

He looked up at her. “Thanks. Um, he has a broken wrist, a concussion and a stab wound but the nurse said he’s gonna be fine.” he said, his voice was cracking with every word. He looked broken, more broken than Ochako had ever seen him before. She walked closer to him almost scared of what he’d do to her.

In all honesty, Katsuki was way too tired and emotional to even think of doing anything bad to her. The brave, confident face he wore everyday was replaced with the face of a broken child. The tears that cascaded down his face, he didn’t wipe off, he didn’t even acknowledge them. Wet spots started to appear on his pants and Ochako was genuinely concerned as to why this got to Katsuki so much. He’d seen Izuku in worse situations, taken him to the hospital more times than she could count and watched him get thrown around like a ragdoll on more than one occasion and he never once shed a tear.

She placed the bag of clothes by the bed and she pulled up a chair next to Katsuki. They sat in a comfortable silence, Ochako occasionally looking over to Katsuki mentally trying to ask if he was okay. She was more than shocked when Katsuki decided to speak up.

“When he was on the phone, he sounded like he was dying and- and then in the car he told me he loved me as if it was the last time he’d say it to me. It was like he accepted the fact that he could’ve died” Katsuki said through tears. His voice croaked and broke all the way but he didn’t care. Ochako reached over and grabbed Katsuki’s free hand, hoping he’d let her hold it. To her surprise, he did.

“You both knew- we all knew what we were getting into when we chose to be heros, Izuku was no different and he didn’t have a quirk” she said her voice was light and reassuring. She smiled when she felt Katsuki squeeze her hand.

“I had a day off today and I told him to stay home with me because we never get to spend time together anymore. He told me he wanted to get a small day mission out of the way and then he’d come home earlier. I’m guessing the mission didn’t go as planned and now he’s here.” Katsuki sighed and squeezed Ochako’s hand once more before he let it go to run a hand through his hair. Ochako got a good look at his face and couldn’t help but laugh at the massive blood streak covering the side of his face. He looked over at her, looking irritated.

“What the fuck you laughing at, round face?” Katsuki asked, the bite to his voice wasn’t as intimidating with the blood on his face and the tears running down his face.

Ochako couldn’t contain her giggles even if she tried. “You look like Todoroki”

Katsuki huffed and glared at her, still unaware as to what she was referring to. Rustling of plastic bags caught his attention. He saw Ochako pull out what looked to be face wipes. “What’re those for?”

“You have blood on your face” she said between giggles. A packet of makeup wipes were shoved into Katsuki’s lap. Katsuki glared at her once more before opening the packet and pulling one out and wiping his face. He did make it worse but they both didn’t give a shit because they heard a soft ‘Kacchan’ coming from the bed in front of them.

Izuku opened his eyes, wincing when the light his his sensitive eyes. He looked around the very white room, the light making his eyes sting. Anxiety rising in his stomach, he felt sick, the white too overpowering. A hand on his shoulder made him turn his head. He was met with crimson eyes, full of panic. The rapid rising and falling of his chest slowing when he realised who it was. Kacchan. A small smile tugged at his lips as he tried to sit up, strong hands gripped his shoulders, stopping him.

“What are you? Fucking crazy? You’re gonna pull some stitches Jesus fucking Christ” he chuckled at Katsuki’s words. He couldn’t really remember anything. There was a mild stinging pain in his side, almost as if someone poked him with a small needle. His eyes met Katsuki’s, the previously panicked eyes softening when they looked into his green ones.

Izuku smiled at him, reaching his hand up to touch Katsuki’s face. “Hey, Kacchan” he said softly, his voice still thick with sleep.

Katsuki smiled down at him, bringing his hand up to his face to cover Izuku’s. “Hey, nerd. How’ya feelin’?”

“Sleepy. And a bit sore. What happened?” Izuku looked around the room, finally realising they were in a hospital. He layed back down in the very uncomfortable bed.

“You got a bit fucked up on a mission today but you’re fine now, I promise” Katsuki said, his voice quivering a small bit but Izuku didn’t notice. Izuku heard a bag rustling and looked behind Katsuki to see Ochako.

“Ochako! Why’re you here?” Izuku’s voice was as bright as it could be with the morphine wearing off. A small giggle escaped the girls lips and she came to stan beside Katsuki.

“I came here to make sure King Explosion Murder didn’t explode or murder anything” she said, her voice teasing. Katsuki didn’t look very impressed but did he ever? He pushed her shoulder with his free hand, making her erupt in more giggles. Izuku’s smile grew wider and before he knew it, he was laughing too. “Oh my god” Katsuki groaned, “it’s like taking care of children for fucks sake” he said and the giggles suddenly stopped. They all heard the door opening, their heads snapping up to see who it was. The same nurse from before stood at the door looking shocked. She quickly composed herself, a smile appearing on her face.

“Oh good, you’re awake. I was just coming to say visiting hours are over and I’m sorry Miss Uraraka, but you have to go, you can come back tomorrow at 9am.” the nurse looked over at the brunette, an apologetic smile on her face.

“Oh! Right, sorry. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, get better Deku.”she said, blowing them both a kiss before grabbing her things, leaving the bag with clothes on the floor and disappearing into the hallway.

“Mister Bakugou you can stay if you would like. I can ask for an extra bed” she smiled. Katsuki nodded at her and she left, leaving the men alone. The hands that were on Katsuki’s face were now resting on the bed. The small strokes of Katsuki’s thumb across Izuku’s knuckles made the green haired man sigh in content. Katsuki leaned down, his and Izuku’s faces millimetres apart. Izuku made the first move. He tilted his head to the side slightly and captured his husband’s lips with his own. Katsuki let go of Izuku’s hand and brought both of them to cup his face, stroking his freckled cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. The kiss was slow and gentle. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces, moving in perfect sync. They pulled away slowly, letting their foreheads touch and Izuku took this opportunity to rub their noses together, giggling when Katsuki scrunched his nose up in disgust. God he hated when Izuku did that.

“Oh I’m sorry gentlemen, just coming to deliver the bed” their heads turned to see two doctors wheeling a bed into the room. Katsuki moved out of the way and let them past him, watching as they clipped the beds together. The doctors left swiftly. “No-one’s come to fix my fucking foot yet but they sure as hell can deliver a whole ass bed in under 5 minutes” Katsuki said with a huff, making Izuku giggle.

“Cuddle me Kacchan!” Izuku demanded, lifting his good arm and making grabby hands at the irritated man at the foot of the bed. Katsuki walked over to the side of the bed and picked up the bag Ochako left him. He pulled out a plain black t-shirt and pulled it over his head, smirking when he saw Izuku eyeing him.

“Like what you see, nerd?” he teased, making Izuku blush and look away. Katsuki laughed and climbed into the bed, his face contorting to one of disgust when he felt how uncomfortable it was. Izuku giggled at his husband’s face, grabbing his arm and pulling him down so that his head was on the pillow and he was facing Izuku. They moved carefully, Katsuki putting his arm around Izuku’s shoulders, pulling him gently so that his head was resting on his chest. Izuku slung his good arm across Katsuki’s stomach. They sighed in content.

“Next time one of us has a day off, we both do. I don’t give a shit if the entire country is being blown up, we are staying home” Katsuki said. Izuku looked up at him and smiled.

“‘Course” Katsuki planted a kiss into Izuku’s mess of green curls. He was going to be okay.