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#and they might relate to some of it but also have other experiences too
brujaluas · 22 hours
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the kinks your future spouse will have with you
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look, you have very different energies from each other, I don't know how this will work haha ​​one of you may still be quite young, being in your 20s, so you may not have as much experience with other partners, but you do with yourselves ? you know your bodie without fear and can give pleasure to other people very easily, you have more energy to learn, to want to do all kinds of things, you are open to new experiences, even the most different ones, your future spouse is the type who likes something heavy, may like to rope and tie themselves or tie you up during sex, orgasm inhibition, control, restriction, gives a vibe of a person who likes sadism and restrictions in bed, like, controlling the time of having orgasms, controlling the (consensual) pain that they will cause you or you causing them, they are also open to going through the same experiences that they will make you go through in bed.
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hmmm, you might enjoy having group sex or someone or even a group of people watching you having sex, voyeurism, at first you might be quite shy about it and one of you might not want or like sex. I don't see you being a couple that has sex at any opportunity, with time you will give yourself this freedom and practice these acts, somehow I also see your future spouse wanting to waste money during sex, they can buy underwear, lingeries with colors, costumes whatever it is, but believe me, it's something expensive, I see that they can like quick sex too.
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wow, what strange madness hahaha, you and your future spouse may have already had sexual relations in the 5d dimension, or you connect with them in your dreams, you had a meeting here, a fantasy, in a dream, you can be sure, if you don't remember, do a meditation, ritual or pray for some entity that can help you have a new dream with your future spouse, you are spiritual people, I think this contributes to being able to have a greater connection. Hmm, I see that your future spouse doesn't have many fetishes towards you, it's just a shy and very sweet energy, they don't want to be exposed, they want to be patient, but you will get along very well, excellent communication.
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jlf23tumble · 1 year
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The groupthink and insular nature of larries (you can’t sit with us unless you believe/espouse what we believe) def keeps people a reachin’ EVEN HARDER. And this all or nothing attitude leads to “unlarrying” which somehow means those people just buy into a whole other narrative (so did they really need “deprogramming” or just another doctrine to follow blindly? Rip to that girl who wrote about how she couldn’t believe she used to think Carolina was about drugs when Harry is so pure after she listened to HS3 lmaoooo).
Bottom line is all sides of HL’s fandom puts them in boxes and just ignore pieces of evidence that don’t fit with their narrative (hets ignoring H’s queer coding, larries ignoring all of AOTV post-2015, etc). Multiple things can be true at once - Louis can enjoy indulging in alcohol and weed and be happy and successful (he doesn’t need you to save him); Harry can make out with models and playfully react to signs about pussy and still be sleeping with dudes (plenty of queer men, even those who self-identify as gay, have been intimate with women); HL can have been in a relationship and aren’t anymore (or at least not in the “married” sense). This is all way more fun when you allow for people to be people and not unchanging posters on your wall. Ultimately i don’t care what you believe as long as you acknowledge we’re all clowns here in the dumbass circus.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
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sanstropfremir · 2 years
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what do you think makes a well balanced group. your kepler ask mentions how skills and personality is important but is there a secret formula that you think is most potent. there are groups where each member is good at a specific thing, and groups where every member is equally skilled in dancing and singing. on one hand, if a group has the dynamic where everyone is equally skilled in all aspects it may make them lackluster. but would it be appropriate if say, 1 member is a weak dancer and the strongest vocalist and vice versa the same group has a strong dancer and weak vocal. maybe this dynamic would work in a small group, but not a large one? the trouble with large groups being, if all members have the same skills no one pays attention to them, or there will always be a standout member of a large group because realistically a group with 6 members and up cant be equally skilled with z e r o quirks or differences
well. this is kind of a multi-faceted answer, because although i don't think there's a specific 'secret formula' for a perfect group, kpop already has a structure that members get slotted into that actually does work. so yes, but also no? it's complicated.
so the whole system of assigned positions is essentially the formula that makes a well balanced group. that's literally the point of each of the positions; they're there in order to organize the roles so the group is balanced. now, do companies get it right all the time? no. do fans agree with it? absolutely not. but that IS what it's there for, and, in my opinion, it does work. most of the time. i think it's stupid and naive for fans to argue for equal line distribution yadda yadda because being a vocal is not going to be everyone's strong point. a main vocal SHOULD have the majority of the singing, that's their job. a main dancer SHOULD be leading dance breaks etc, that's their job. and an assigned centre SHOULD be in centre position, because they're there to be the hook. i've talked about how centre position is important before so i won't hash over that again, but my point is that those assigned positions aren't random, they're there in order to establish a balance within a group, so that people know what your place is. it's a job description.
however, those are just general positions, and obviously not every person and group has the same distribution of skills. what actually makes a balanced group is the people in that group understanding that they need to be balanced. no group is ever going to have the same interpersonal or skill related dynamics, but if all the members understand the parts they play and work together to fill in gaps and create a unified image, that's what makes the whole thing work.
of course this also feeds into my own personal beliefs about group composition, which i think are probably uncommon: i don't think there should be any large groups at all. five is the perfect size, seven is fine, nine is the MAXIMUM. groups larger than that have difficulty maintaining focal points and also have a higher likelihood of having filler members who may be able to keep up technically, but don't do much other than bolster numbers. everyone jokes about nct being too big, but the reality is that nct almost never promotes with more than nine members in a subunit, because sm intimately knows that if a group gets too big, it gets messy. you keep the member numbers down, and all those members have more of an equal reason to be there, even if it's not 'equal' in the songs or performances. there's a lot of other things that idols do that require different skills that aren't used in performance, and those are distributed differently depending on the group.
obvs none of these are hard and fast rules, and often a lot of groups settle into shapes that go beyond their 'job descriptions' and that's fine, because they're usually working through that together. it's all about negotiation
#sorry my theatre related conflict resolution skills are bleeding ALL over this lmao#i think bc theyre so ubiquitous ppl have kind of overlooked assigned positions but like. they ARE there for a reason#and i am actually a proponent of a centre position i think theyre very important#there SHOULD be someone that stands out. you have to hook people into the group somehow#idk maybe this is a hot take or whatever but idol groups are not 'just about the music' and fans who say that are being naive#should idol groups make good music? yea sure. but in no way is it the only thing they do#and to ignore the stage performance and public interaction side of it is stupid#all of it together is what makes the experience + is part of the job#if you enjoy a group just for their music that's fine. i do that too#but don't pretend that's all the conversation is about#kpop questions#idk maybe this might not make sense to ppl but the way i see is that a kpop group is kind of like the company of a show#like you've got main actors and supporting actors and other ppl that have different positions that do different things#that all help keep everything running the way it should be#so ppl asking about equal line distribution is like someone demanding that a supporting actor should take some of the main's lines#like why? that makes no sense. that's not your role#like obvs the analogy is not one to one. but kpop groups ARE a crafted narrative#text#answers#also i think ppl just dont understand anymore that supporting parts are in fact very important to the makeup of a group#being in a supporting role does not make you lesser. you just have a different function#something something the current standard of individualism and constant drive to 'be the best' or whatever#ruined any understanding of community and communal work#n e ways. idk if this even makes sense anymore
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sheerioswifties · 1 year
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#so today i broke down and fully cried over realizing the reality that i probably won't be able to go see Taylor on this tour#and i felt so stupid for it like crying over not getting to see a concert seems so trivial and i mean so many reasons but like#and like i don't cry much anymore like I've been through and am in so much pain and horrible stuff constantly and so much stress and trauma#but I've built up strength to not cry over those things like if i did I'd just be crying nonstop so i channel my emotions into trying to#solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately#the things that make me cry are more like sweet animal rescue videos acts of kindness touching stories or really deeply inspirational or#relatable things in books etc but so like I'm like mad at myself for crying over this but#i checked the stubhub like prices for what tix are going for and it's fucking over 500 a pop for nosebleeds i just#it's infuriating the scalping and how many hard core fans are unable to go bc of that but rich ppl who aren't really fans i just. 1000 bucks#for 300 level is just no I'm sorry that's not ever gonna happen and i just#i really thought I'd just find tickets over time closer to the event like that's how I've done several concerts but then i looked and saw#that and I'm like oh my god and that's before fees and then there's the gas to get there the repairs that need to be done to the car to get#there all the other fees involved and in realizing oh my god like I've been overconfident and now i don't see a way and I'm so sad and i#just broke down its i know iy seems stupid but first this feels like something that might not happen again anytime soon if ever the way the#world is going out could be last chance and rep tour was the first time I'd been able to see Taylor to begin with and the experience was SO#amazing it's like the one thing i looked forward to this year that lifted me up in really dark times and again i feel shitty when there's so#many fans who never get to see her international too i just. I'm sorry I'm just like this breaks my heart on levels and like#i hate how money dictates everything i hate that i went to eds last tour tickets in the same venue were 30 DOLLARS and even the Taylor ones#i think were like 75 and now it's so high bc only scalping it's so fucked up and like I'm already in a really bad hole money wise bc of#an emergency issue that happened and I've got some scary medical things going on waiting on tests and having trouble with rent and food and#gas so like i can't even try to be like. you know? like justify trying to save up that much even when i got all this#i just.
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gyudons · 8 months
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despicable
updates as of 22 oct
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Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
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3hks · 3 months
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How to Write REALISTIC and SMOOTH Dialogue
In a story, dialogue is quite important, it helps the readers paint a picture of what's happening and the characters themselves. However, it can be difficult to avoid the unnaturalness and choppiness that comes with a lack of experience. But luckily, I have put together A LOT of advice on how you can get over that rockiness and improve!
*** KEEPING YOUR DIALOGUE REALISTIC, AND PACING ***
>> Keep your characters in character:
Dialogue is a remarkably quick way for readers to determine your character's personality. Thus, you want their speech patterns to remain fairly consistent so the audience won't get confused. If your character is more serious, then they will use less slang and perhaps a more impressive vocabulary. If your character is more relaxed, they will use more slang and compress the words. (such as "dunno," "kay," "y'know," etc.)
Basically, you want their tone to match their traits so the way that they talk is more realistic and personlized to themselves. If the way all your characters speak is the same, there's something wrong. A strong tip is to put yourself in your character's shoes and imagine how they would respond!
>> Take the situation into consideration:
This is another part of keeping your characters in, well, character. Different emotional situations will have a different effect on separate people, so make sure that you have an idea of how your character will act during stressful, irritating, and sad times.
If your character is normally cold, they will struggle if it comes to comforting other people because they have less experience in that field.
>> Don't take too long with their words:
Unlike when narrating something, most people talk just to get the idea across. They will be more specific and quicker with what they say. (This excludes any character who likes to talk a lot.) Unless it's on purpose, they won't dance around the topic. Think of when you casually chat with your friends; you're pretty unlikely to use certain words and/or phrases that might be common to use while narrating.
If you want to explain something complicated, instead of writing out a paragraph of just one person talking, use a question-and-answer prompt! This is where another character continuously asks related questions that get answered by another person, so you can indirectly reveal your explanation.
*** HOW TO WRITE A SMOOTHER CONVERSATION AND DIALOGUE TAGS***
>> Having a variety of dialogue tags:
This is a pretty basic thing to look out for if you're new to writing conversations. Using words like "said," every other sentence can easily make it feel choppy and robotic. Instead, use words like "murmured," "smirked," etc. to paint some emotion into their words. Additionally, vary the location of the dialogue tags! They don't all have to go after the statement, you can include something in the beginning or even the middle, too!
Examples:
Beginning - She tilted her head, "What are you talking about?"
Middle - "Oh," he blinked, "I actually never thought about that."
End - "Wait up!" She exclaimed loudly, waving her hands around.
>> Using no dialogue tags to create a smooth conversation:
Having too many tags can also overwhelm your reader--remember, sentence variety is a crucial part of writing--so you can always drop them if they're unneeded. This applies when your characters (two is the suggested amount) are talking back and forth in a pattern straightforward enough for the reader to understand who's talking without it having to be labeled.
Dropping dialogue tags in these moments can create a smoother atmosphere during the conversation because the reader only has to focus on the talking present.
*** USING SLANG, STUTTERS, FILLER WORDS, AND PAUSES ***
Human speech is often not perfect; when talking, we often make mistakes such as filler words, grammatically incorrect phrases, etc. Hence, for more natural-sounding dialogue, it's important to incorporate some of these.
>> Pauses and stutters:
When reading dialogue, we read it at a steady pace unless it's written otherwise. However, that steady pace can soon get too robotic and too smooth. Luckily, there are several ways to change this! You can use dialogue tags, (ex: she quickly spoke) commas, and ellipsis (...). These are often integrated when the character is hesitant, nervous, answering something, or when they need to admit something. The same idea applies to stutters--they're mainly used to demonstrate anxiousness, which can be found in varying situations.
>> Filler words and slang:
Filler words can really just be used where you see fit. They may be used in the situations I previously mentioned (because it shows someone stumbling over their words) but it's ultimately up to you!
Slang, just like everything else, should not be used too often, or it will seem forced and exaggerated. The point is to sound natural, and increasing amounts of repetitiveness can ruin it. It's also important to remember that in real life, our conversations move slower; when someone speaks, another person usually doesn't respond quite literally, right after. However, in writing, dialogue can actually often seem that way, which is why using tags and these imperfections of speech is pivotal for building a realistic conversation!
*** CONCLUSION ***
Lastly, a key point when writing dialogue is to ALWAYS read the conversations! Whether it be in your head or out loud, it can often help you catch anything that seems off! Additionally, like I mentioned at the very beginning, write dialogue from your character's perspective! Imagine yourself as them and how they/you would talk. Try to keep your dialogue tags, sentences, and word use varied to create a natural conversation!
If you were struggling before, I hope that this (extra) long guide was able to really offer you some insight and useful tips! If you read this far, thank you!
Happy writing~
3hks <3
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libraincarnate · 2 months
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astrology notes: 16 ☁️
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quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!
🐚 neptune–venus aspects: you probably get compliments on your appearance a lot. you may have been told that you look a model or a celebrity. there's some sort of star quality to you.
if your neptune is square/opposite your venus, you might struggle to see the same beauty that others see in you. it’s not that you think you’re ugly but you might not think you’re as attractive to the extent that others do, so it makes you wonder what other people are seeing. you might think they’re lying or exaggerating. compliments could also be hard for you to accept. the attention you get can make you a little uncomfortable.
🐚 i used to think that virgo venuses were too nonchalant when it comes to love but this placement will give you that real princess or prince treatment that goes beyond money and materialistic items - that kind of princess/prince treatment may apply more to taurus and sag, but with virgo they give the kind of treatment that considers their partner’s entire well-being and not just their monetary needs and desires. they really care about their partners and want to put their life at ease, they truly care if you ate and aren’t just asking that just to ask. if you haven’t eaten they won’t just say, “oh, damn” or “oh no, eat something :/” but they’re the type to create time to make you something or buy you something to eat and even bring it to you. if they can make your life less stressful in any way, they’ll try to do that. if you’re sick, they’ll take on some of your responsibilities like tidying up your house for you since you aren’t able to do so. there can be times where they won’t even let you lift a finger. the types to say, “i’ll take care of that for you” even if you can do it yourself.
they’re reliable so if they say they’ll do something, you can expect them to do it. but this placement may often find themselves in a position where they’re always being the care taker so they want someone who takes care of them too. these individuals are often anxious and may be quite paranoid when it comes to romantic relationships so they desire someone who will put their mind and life at ease. they can be picky and difficult to impress because of their high standards and because they’re quick to get the ick, but once they love you they’ll really go above and beyond.
🐚 sun opposite rising: your looks may not match your personality and you might even think so yourself. for example, you might look innocent or younger than you are, but really, you’re quite mature and there’s a dark, wild, or unexpected side of you. your looks are deceiving.
🐚 capricorn rising/in the 1st house: you are someone who had ambition and big plans from a young age. money could be a big part of your identity. the ones making “money moves” fr. you could have a lot of work experience. you’ve been working/touching money since your pre-teen or teenage years. 
if your cap rising aspects your mercury then subjects related to money/finance could be something that is always on your mind and it frequently comes up in your conversations as well.
or if it aspects your lilith, then you may be the type to get money by any means necessary, meaning you might be willing to do illegal/immoral things to obtain it. but in your mind, you probably think you have a good reason to do it. something made it worth the risk because capricorns are too rational, prudent, and judicious to just do anything without good reason.
࿐ ࿔*:・゚𓇼 ˖°
🐚 lilith in pisces: might deal w/ sleep related issues such as insomnia, sleep apnea, sleepwalking, etc. 
🐚 sun conjunct mercury (natal): your father may be someone you hold in high regard and therefore someone you speak highly of most of the time. it’s possible that you tend to reflect on the memories you share with him, your similarities/differences, and the influence he has had in your life.
🐚 jupiter in the 7th house: you bring abundance into the relationships you have. this can be a friendship, business partnership, romantic relationship, etc. your loved ones are lucky to have you in their life. you’re generous and you’re the type to spoil & splurge on those closest to you. you bring encouragement and goodness into the lives of others, even if you haven’t known them for long. you’re a blessing. you could have qualities that make you the perfect wife/husband & you could also be blessed with your perfect spouse in return. unless you’re a jerk, you may be someone that people regret losing, especially your ex.
🐚 aquarius: reminds me of The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) in a way, the ones to step up and help a stranger. they have this innate desire to help people, to help the world, even if it’s done in a small way or even if nobody else sees it.
isn’t it ironic how the sign that’s about humanity and togetherness is the one that feels like an outcast or has been ostracized from some group in some way? whether it be by their family (aquarius in the 4th house), friends (11th house), classmates (3rd house), or co-workers (6th house).
as an air sign, they can talk for hours. but out of the 3 air signs, aquarius is the most socially selective. this can be one of the reasons why they’re often described as cold and distant.
they may not be all sunshine & rainbows but they’re actually kind-hearted individuals. it’s just that they may not always express it in the most warm, affectionate, lovey-dovey way. i wouldn’t describe them as the most emotional individuals but they are still empathetic and they dislike inhumane behavior.
࿐ ࿔*:・゚𓇼 ˖°
🐚 sag experiences life to fullest by going everywhere, seeing everything, learning about it all in the process and then reflecting on what they’ve seen & learned.
taurus experiences life to the fullest by really being present in their physical body. they’ll take in the different sounds of a song and dance to the beat, they'll distinguish the different notes or aromas of a particular smell and then buy similar scents to fill their home with it or to wear as perfume/cologne. when eating, they'll really taste food and explore the different flavors/ingredients, then maybe they’ll try to cook it for themselves. they’re in tune with their senses and therefore the world around them. it’s such a beautiful way to experience life, but this can also mean that they are quite sensitive to their environments. with that being said they may feel a strong connection to nature/the earth.
🐚 cancer in the 10th house: may be perceived as compassionate & loyal, shy, or a sweetheart by the general public. could be sensitive about their reputation and any criticism they receive. they spend time nurturing their career, and their career may even relate to nurturing children, caretaking, or healing. they rely on their intuition or heart to carve out their path and navigate their career. they’re good listeners and as a cardinal sign they also possess that leadership quality. the types to provide their close friends and family with opportunities to help them reach their own success. a desire to take care of their family and their needs once they make it. people within the same industry as them may see them as a motherly mentor.
🐚 scorpio in the 2nd house: they can have deep and/or raspy voices. it’s music to my ears, but especially if it’s a woman with this placement. that’s because women typically have higher pitched voices, and so naturally, these women stand out when they speak. if they can sing well, they can probably reach deeper notes than most women typically can. but in the same breath, it may be hard for them to reach high notes. this applies to both the natal chart & the mercury persona chart.
🐚 saturn rules the teeth and so people with saturn in retrograde in the 1st house, or saturn opposite/square pluto, lilith, mars or the ascendant may have a chipped tooth due to a certain event such as getting hit in the mouth or biting on something hard. or they may have a gap between their front teeth, the type you inherit genetically or from your parents. this doesn’t mean they have ugly teeth or an ugly smile. however, whether they feel like they have an ugly smile or not, they may have a tendency to smile without showing their teeth or they cover their mouth when smiling/laughing in attempt to hide their teeth. either way, there’s a sense of self-consciousness here.
࿐ ࿔*:・゚𓇼 ˖°
🐚 4th house synastry: potential for a strong/solid foundation, they're your comfort place, having a strong desire to live together, moving in together can make the relationship feel more satisfying, fulfilling, or complete. you miss them when they’re not home/around, hate having to say goodbye, long distance could make you both feel miserable or like something is missing. possible separation anxiety. emotional vulnerability, healing, and attachment. taking care of each other. wanting to start a family. this house also creates an environment for a deep connection just like the other houses ruled by water signs.
🐚 if i could communicate with animals i would tell pets to choose owners who have scorpio in the 6th house. these people will loveee their pets to death. their pets would probably be obsessed with them (it would be mutual though) because of the amount of love and attention they would receive from their owners. there’s definitely a strong emotional attachment. but in general, having a water sign in the 6th house indicates a strong emotional connection or bond with pets/animals.
air signs in the 6th house would talk to their pets a lot and they’d be besties lol, they obviously don't speak the same language but they'd understand each other nonetheless. possible animal whisperers here.
earth signs in the 6th house would give their pets the best of the best but i also think this dynamic would bring a mutually grounding effect that could be therapeutic, bringing a sense of calm and peace to the pet and the owner’s life.
fire signs in the 6th house would spoil their pets and they’d have a lot fun doing things together like taking them outdoors and going on adventures. 
🐚 1st house ruler in the 2nd house: the themes of the 1st house includes one’s appearance and the themes of the 2nd house includes one’s physical body and beauty, being that is ruled by venus. while this still applies to libra because it is also ruled by venus and it has the reputation of being beautiful and having physical symmetry, this doesn’t apply to the 7th house, which libra rules, because that house is more related to romance and relationships.
so, since the physical body is part of one’s appearance, if your 1st house is ruled by the 2nd house, not only can this show another layer of your appearance but it can also mean you have a very attractive appearance and body. bonus points if taurus is in the 2nd house since that is the house it rules and it is also ruled by venus.
with that being said, even if you don’t have a libra rising or libra in the 1st house, if it’s in your 2nd house and it rules your first house you may have libra physical traits like freckles or dimples. if aries or leo is in your 2nd house then you may have a lot of hair, red hair (naturally or dyed), or a pronounced face/head. 
the planets in your 2nd house may also have an impact, so if you have mercury there your body may be quite slim. having venus in the 2nd house is also a bonus because again, beauty. jupiter too since it represents blessings so you may be blessed with great looks and this may indicate a thicker or curvier body type as well. i’d also add asteroid aphrodite (1388) as well, being that it represents attraction, & beauty, but planets will have a greater influence. 
lastly, people may like the way you dress and think you have a good sense of style.
^ even if the house that rules your 1st house doesn’t relate to one’s appearance or body, it can still have an influence on your presence. for example, if your 8th house rules your 1st house you probably have sex appeal without even trying to be sexy, people may think you’re secretive, and you might look and feel best when you’re wearing dark colored clothing. but remember, signs matter and can reinforce this or bring out the opposite.
🐚 asteroid juno (3) at a gemini degree (3°, 15°, 27°): can indicate a marriage filled with laughter, lots of conversation, and possibly good communication between you & your spouse, or these are things you desire or must have in a committed romantic partnership.
࿐ ࿔*:・゚𓇼 ˖°
🐚 pluto represents things that are hidden. those with pluto in the 1st house may hide or gatekeep their personality or their true self, so many people don’t know the real them. they’re naturally mysterious with deep layers. 
in the 6th house they may hide any health issues they have or how hard their life may be on a daily basis, the types to feel like they’re on the verge of death but no one would know. 
in the 3rd house they may not be quick to reveal their thoughts or what’s on their mind, they try to think before they speak. reminds me of the person who chooses to sit in the back of the class and doesn’t participate much, but they have profound ideas and also a dark mind. their siblings may also feel like they don’t know them very well even if they grew up together and were raised in the same home. furthermore, your sibling’s friends may be surprised to learn that they have a sister/brother (the person with pluto in the 3rd house), because they’ve never seen or heard of them.
🐚 lilith represents the things we reject. in the 1st house, lilith may reject parts of themselves because they find those parts difficult to accept, they might create a new version of themselves but it’s not really authentic since they’re rejecting their true self. they may reject their personal boundaries and can potentially be a push over or they care too much about what others think. this may result in a lack of self-esteem and confidence. they could reject their appearance and do things to constantly change how they look whether that be dyeing their hair, dressing up in ways that are drastically different, or possibly getting cosmetic surgery.
in the 10th house, lilith may reject commands from their superiors, their boss/supervisor may tell them to do something a certain way but they do it their own way, may have a tendency of disobeying their father or they were rejected by their father. they may reject leadership roles and prefer to work alone. they don’t take the “traditional” path to success and may choose a career that their father is against. they could also reject fame or attention from the general public even though that’s something they naturally attract. 
in the 12th house they may reject their dreams, meaning that they think nothing of them, they’re “just dreams” and have no deeper meaning. they might reject the darker parts of themselves and prefer to focus on the parts that aren’t so dark and heavy. because of this there could be painful experiences that they haven’t healed from because they refuse to pay any attention to them. if they are spiritual, then they may have surface level knowledge and aren’t interested in delving into deeper waters. or they could disregard or hate the reality of life on this planet and so they have a tendency of fantasizing about death, the end of the world, or a different/better world. also, they may not be the most generous or charitable people.
🐚 empty houses: some people might think that the empty houses in their chart are insignificant but they still have relevance in your life because a there’s still a sign that falls into that house and that empty house also has a house ruler. for example, if you have an empty 3rd house with leo or sag there, you may still be one of the popular kids in school even if you have no planets in that house.
and let’s say your 3rd house is ruled by the 7th house (meaning your sun or jupiter is in the 7th house), your popularity may stem from your relationships. you may be known because you’ve dated the popular boy/girl at school or you both are popular making you the popular couple at school. perhaps you’ve had several relationships throughout your school years and maybe you’re that person who is always in a relationship which could create some gossip whether it be for good or bad. or maybe you have a lot of people pursuing you and wanting to date you, perhaps you have multiple people wanting to take you to prom or you might be a sophomore and yet you end up going to prom with a senior.
so, empty houses will still play a role in your life, but it will most likely be less active or less prominent compared to the houses that do have planets.
🐚 the 5th house: this is definitely one of my favorite houses. people with multiple placements in the 5th house typically have so much personality. they’re so fun, a joy to be around, truly a burst of sunshine with vibrant energy and they’re also really talented. definitely the life of the party, bringing everyone together with excitement and entertainment. the type to start dancing with or talking to a stranger or that person standing in the corner, making them feel both welcomed and included. they also have this youthful quality to them, which may be one of the reasons why children love them or get along with them well.
if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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loveemagicpeace · 4 months
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🏹1st house & You 🌌
💕1st house describes you as a person, your appearance. The Ascendant and the 1st house-This area of the chart denotes your body as the vehicle for your life force and vitality, and so suggests your sense of yourself as a physically separate individual. Being the symbol of the birth moment, it also describes your arrival into the world and the pattern of responses this sets up. Your Ascendant (or rising) sign is a powerful indicator of how you feel about yourself.💕
⚡️1st house Sun -the person usually looks proud, illuminated and casirmatic. The charisma of these persons is very noticeable. Many times their hair is noticed because it is like a lion's mane or it melts. They put a lot into their hair and take care of it. I notice that these people often dress in one color or wear various inscriptions, paintings related to childhood (many times you see cartoon T-shirts) or some kind of logos. Many times they like to dress in brands. Many times they come forward very confident, but in reality many times they are not at all. Many times the sun covers up their insecurity or weakness. You know how to enlighten others around you and people with this position are often popular among people. People love you quickly. You almost never experience something very terrible (unless there are aspects and other houses that are darker).
🌙1st house Moon- persons tend to appear more kind, caring and friendly. But they can also come forward capriciously (depending on their mood). Emotions are carried on their face and it is difficult to reveal them. Individuals with the Moon in the 1st House wear their hearts on their sleeves and follow their hearts. They have good intuition and are quick to feel things emotionally. Many times the moon creates a cancer look or makes a person's head rounder. People can have gentle soft appearance, a smiling face, and a yearning for comfort, pleasure, and luxury.
🍀1st house Mercury-people look thinner and taller. Usually, when you talk to them, they come across as very smart and intelligent. Many times there are people who have the energy to talk a lot. Above all, their mind and thinking is in the foreground. Many people can ask them for advice. Mercury also gives many thoughts, which you say out loud. You can practically speak your mind. These people also start talking quickly and are the initiators of topics. Maybe sometimes they say things out loud without meaning to. Many times they have multiple personalities and are never really committed to just one thing. They can quickly change their mind if they are not sure about it. What I also noticed is that in reality they talk a lot because they want to get rid of the unpleasant feeling of silence. They do not like the death of silence and many times they prefer noise.
🧚🏼‍♀️1st house Venus-venus usually gives feminine beauty and many people can find you beautiful. You can often get compliments. Your energy is relaxing and often these people are natural (they like natural beauty). This placement gives you a warm, friendly aura and an elegant air that people find irresistible. These individuals tend to be well liked and exude an aura of warmth, friendliness. These individuals tend to be extremely tolerant, accommodating and often compromise their own inner needs and wishes for the sake of maintaining peace and avoiding conflict. You tend to attract others to you quite readily, and rarely come on too strong or aggressively. Venus in the 1st, you might come across as charming, keen to get on with everyone and oil the wheels. There are people who will make you feel that you can be beautiful no matter what u wear. Although they are either very natural without make-up and especially if they have virgo rising. Or they may be obsessed with doing beauty touch-ups and make-up.
🦋1st house Mars- Mars here can come out all guns blazing, a pattern that may reflect emergencies in the birth experience or the early presence of a rival. There may be a lot of masculine energy here. These people know how to do men's jobs and can come forward quite dominantly and decisively. Their energy is usually more intense, strong and strict. You can have a more athletic body or you can have lots of muscles. Facial features tend to be more severe, strong and dark. Many times they emit more dangerous energy (people can be afraid of them). They are people who react quickly and fight for the things/people they love. Very passionate people. They are fearless and dare a lot. They will always be up for crazy things. What I noticed about these people is that thay often attract some situation that are more aggressive or people that following them or something like that(not always).
🐚1st house Saturn- people tend to look older than they really are. Many times they give off the energy of a parent or a more authoritative energy. They are responsible and serious people who do not like someone who is too childish. Otherwise, these people are non-judgmental, you will rarely ever see them judge someone. They may have weight problems and may fluctuate a lot. Their face is similar to saturn, when you look at their face you can see the shape of saturn. They have reinforced bones, especially if they are thin, their body shape is very noticeable. They usually have tattoos. There is one thing about Saturn people that they don't actually look like some kind of business oriented people, but they actually look opposite of that. Many times darker with my style or even emo style I notice many times. Although mostly more chipped/torn style. They love things that are dark or scary sometimes.
🫧1st house Neptune-this people have a magical outlook and energy. When you're in their presence, you feel like they're not real at all or like they're from a movie. They also have the appearance of a mermaid. They have shiny and pearly eyes. When you look into their eyes, it looks like you will get lost in them. They have hypnotic eyes. Their appearance is usually dreamy and many people cannot define exactly how they see their beauty. They have a very energetically magical approach (many times they leave special energy on others). But they can also draw a lot of other people's energy. People often ask them for help or advice. People can often be shy in front of them because they have celebrities energy. Many times they live in their dream world. Neptune's influence endows the individual with a profound understanding of their innermost personality. Eyes are often grey or blue of a rather cold shade.
🧃1st house Uranus-your energy is above all unique and special. People find you unique and different. You have your own energy. You dare to be different and you like to stand out with your appearance, clothes and opinion. Many times your opinion or view may differ from others. Your style can often be very interesting and you know how to style pieces of clothing that others would never do very well. Things look special on you. With Uranus in the 1st house can be described as having unusual and unconventional qualities that person have. You may have a particular body shape or there may be a part of you that is very different from others and people find that interesting about you. This makes you stand out from the crowd.
💘1st house Jupiter-happiness is with you everywhere. There are many happy coincidences. You have a confident and optimistic energy. People can often see you as someone who always finds a way. You can be a very good teacher to others and have a lot of wisdom about things. Regardless of everything, you always find faith and trust in the things you love to do and trust that things will turn out well. You are a spontaneous person who sees life as full of opportunities. You never stop living and many times you live for the moment. Also gives you a charming and attractive appearance, which will draw people towards you. Your charming personality makes you stand out in a crowd and people admire you for the same. You love learning new things and gathering new experiences by traveling around the world. Your personality may be infused with humor, joy, and generosity. You like to experience things even if you never heard of them before. This is like a challenge to you.
🌌1st house Pluto- Your personality is many times an enigma. Because you always decide how much of yourself you want to share and show to others. Sometimes you can trust the wrong people too quickly, and sometimes it takes a long time to trust new ones. A powerful and transformative placement that can significantly influence a person's life and personality. Although pluto is prominent and the first house is the most expressive house, I would say that sometimes it can be difficult to express how you really feel or to share it with others. It is important that when you meet people / when you are dealing with a certain situation, you always listen to your feelings. It is good to carry a smoky quartz crystal with you. With Pluto you can find strength and courage and show people your strong energy. You can also feel people's souls. The first house is your appearance, it's good to change your appearance evey now or then because that's how you leave the past behind. Also pay attention to the signs around you cuz sometimes people trying to tell you something or the signs itself try to tell you something and you ignored it. Cuz pluto people have the tendency to ignore all of the signs because they don't trust them but it's actually the signs that are good for them (especially if this sign is repeated several times). And many times these people change their appearance when they want to escape from someone or change their life.
🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸
-Rebekah🫧♥️🌙
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astrobiscuits · 4 months
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Chiron persona chart obs
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WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you
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Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:
Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence
Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed
Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car
Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues
Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire
Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD
Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong
Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans
Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma
Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public
Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash
Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real
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Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:
Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger
Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so
Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances
Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)
Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened
Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)
Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs
Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process
Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal
Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma
Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms
Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)
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Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.
♃ Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.
♃ Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.
♃ Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.
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Those with:
Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)
Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)
Stellium in 10th house/11th house
-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.
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Other small considerations:
Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain
IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain
DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain
MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain
North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)
🕊 Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds
🕊 Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves
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zeldasnotes · 17 days
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Venus aspecting Neptune
”You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists.”
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READ BEFORE YOU PROCEED: This post is about the conjunction, opposition & square between Venus & Neptune but people with trine & sextile might relate to some of it. This post contains both positive and negative observations. These are my personal observations and not facts. The whole chart has to be taken into consideration.
They have what others might consider the dream look. Born with features that are common to go get done. So they could be born with super long eyelashes, an odd eyecolor, or a tan even tho they live in a cold country. ”Dreamy and unreachable”.
There is often a ”glow from within”. God that sounds so sleazy. A strong glow to the skin that reflects light perfectly and make it look like they are wearing highlight.
Women with this aspect might have grown up with a single mother and men with this aspect with a single father so they didnt get a realistic view of the opposite sex.
One parent might have been unstable during their earliest years so they had to be perfect to keep the parent stable. This made them the ultimate people pleasers. ”Obey and act happy to keep mom in a good mood”. Might even have walked on eggshells to keep a parent in a good mood.
This thing with walking on eggshells around people is something that can be very hard for them to get rid of no matter how old they get. Might blame themselves for others moodswings.
The relationship between their mom and dad might have been very unclear so they never learned how love is supposed to look like which is why they started fantasizing. Their parents might not have been the type to say they love eachother or even hug.
Often the parents might not even have lived together. They might have only seen one of their parents on weekends or special occasions which lead to them seeing that parent as a dream or ideal.
Because of this there was a longing to see and experience ”true love”. So they might have started watching romantic movies and dating early.
They might not have been allowed to act out or even say their opinion, they always had to be pleasant. Often because one of their parents had a temper. Because of this they can be way too agreeable.
There is a tendency to overidealize women in their life. Placing women on a piedestal and assuming all women are ”good and pure” and becoming extremely disappointed when that shows to not be true.
Can often have a ”favorite person” at the moment who is on said piedestal until they find someone new to project their disney fantasies onto.
They often do this to romantic partners too. If you have this placement you probably had friends look at you funny when you described your new crush.
There is also a tendency to assume positive qualities about people. ”Jenny would never do that” ”John would never fall for group pressure and bully someone” and this can be about people they only met once.
Just like these people can fall for other peoples manipulations they can be very manipulative themselves. They sense what people want because they are masters of pleasing. They often mold into what they sense their partner wants even tho they might not do it to decieve.
These people have skills when it comes to photography and art. They know how to pose and what looks good. They make really good designers, makeup artist or hairdressers. They know how to sell a fantasy.
They know styling secrets that others dont. Just like Neptune 1st housers they know how to make themselves into a fantasy. These people knew about contour long before it even was a thing. They knew overlining before it became a thing.
They can be too kind for their own good because they assume everyone is harmless. Might even put themselves in danger because they dont see harm anywhere.
Many often might also not see their own worth so they go for people who are wayyyy below them. But the opposite is also common, falling for people who are unavailable or unreachable.
They are very nonjudgmental so they dont see when others are envious of them or want what they have because they couldnt imagine someone being jealous of them. Too down to earth for their own good.
Others tend to make up a fantasy relationship with these people in their head just like these people do to others. Its not uncommon for them to have someone lie about being with them or someone who wont let go of the fantasy of them.
Women with these aspects can in worst case attract very misogynistic men because they are the ultimate fantasy to a misogynistic man since they often act like a ”woman is supposed to”. He can project his ”good woman” fantasy onto the Neptune/Venus woman and she will act accordingly to please.
These women might feel a strong need to be the typical ”Maid in the livingroom, chef in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom”. This can unfortunately make them a doormat and prey to some very dark energies.
People with this aspect often look for a partner who will save them in some way. Or they might look for a partner who they can save.
They might be unable to look away when they see someone hurting. They need to save the snake no matter how many times the snake bite them.
©️ 2024 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved
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atzual · 1 month
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what your ateez bias says about you
if you take this seriously, that's on you. i'm just doing this for fun.
tw: heavy topics, language, roasting
*****
hongjoong: right. how's the desire to impress people and overworking yourself doing? i feel like what draws you in is his resilience, and that he is very dependable. you probably had a lot of moments where you were left to your own devices to work on something major, and are no stranger to burnout. you might be the kind of person to talk about your achievements and your work and everything you do a lot, maybe to seek validation (and maybe to cement that you have something others don't). on a softer note, you probably have a wide range of skills in a field you are interested in, and experiment a lot. generally are not afraid to go outside of norms to figure something out. so to see the qualities of a leader and innovator in joong is both comforting and inspiring to you. (bonus: you probably have a thing for clips of joong in the studio, don't you?)
seonghwa: you feel like you don't have anyone who you can actually trust with your thoughts and feelings, huh? people talk at you, not to you. you are a natural care-giver, are quick to give advice (also to bottle up someone else's negativity), often ignoring yourself. you might have lost the feeling of 'home' or of 'small but certain happiness', and might have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. on a brighter note, you are someone who can process emotions a lot more deeply than others and if there is anyone who can actually put themselves in another's shoes, it's you. i think hwa is a safe space to you, precisely because it is not all sunshine and rainbows. you connect with his battles, growth, and how he is accepting change and trying to find balance. (bonus: him getting excited about something is legit your therapy isn't it)
yunho: many acquaintances, few friends? i think you legitimately stopped believing in love. at least the mushy 'at first sight' and 'meet cute' and 'soulmates' kind of love. might be because of family-related things, or because of romantic relationships, but trust is a problem for you. you probably think negatively about yourself quite a bit and/or have/had a more pessimistic mindset. on the positive, i think you're really loyal when you find your people, and want to see them happy. you connect with people beyond love, you make connections that are made on living life together and going through things together. i think this is also what drew you to yunho - his perseverance, resilience, ability to smile in the face of hardship, but also his ability to navigate a lot of emotions as they come and deal with them in a healthy way. (bonus: his small expressions of affection/acts of kindness make you melt, right?)
yeosang: you've been through quite a lot, haven't you? i think you try to laugh a lot of it off or treat it lightly, but the demons eat away at you sometimes. you might be someone who burned out in/after high school, and generally does not have a good experience with school. might feel lonely even when you are not alone, sometimes just choosing to float in your imagination for comfort. often act tough or not quite like yourself to appear more like the you you have in your head. i think in part you kind of want to learn how to love the world like yeosang, and are really touched by his sweetness and his humor. you are a fighter and despite it all, do stay true to yourself and your values, and this is something that you find and adore in yeosang. you are drawn in by his ability to follow his dream, and his heart of gold. maybe your scars will turn golden too. (bonus: you probably have a mild obsession with his one-liners)
san: how are your boundaries, broken like the wall? you probably have some trouble with setting and/or maintaining boundaries, and so sometimes have people treading over you. you might feel like a side character in your own life, and so turn bitter and internalize a lot of negative energy. honestly on a brighter note i think you really do try hard for others, and go out of your way to try and make dreams happen for others, because it makes them and you happy. you cheer, you support and you truly show that you are on a loved one's team. I feel that what draws you to san is how he transformed himself in a healthy manner, and how he maintains a very clear circle of those he trusts, and is no stranger to kindly setting rules in place while still remaining sweet and respectful. he is a safe space for you both because he makes you smile with his stories and jokes, but also because he is adamant on keeping things in order. (bonus: his reaction to the merch donation story lives rent free in your mind)
mingi: got some problems with regulating emotions, maybe? be it hiding them until you burst or not knowing how to express them, i think this might be a challenge for you. you might have been exposed to something that made you believe that it is a sign of weakness or a risk. at the same time, you are logical, damn good at what you do, and when you face hard times you bounce back, even if it takes some time. i think you and mingi share the introspectiveness, and you like how thoughtful he is. you probably find comfort in how he shares happiness with others, and how he seeks closeness with loved ones. at the same time, there is something about how he transforms on stages that resonates with you - the power and confidence is something you want to work on and find more of in yourself. (bonus: your will never stop thinking about mingi's creative process monologues + freestyle mingi)
wooyoung: do people tell you you have a big personality, or that you are 'a lot' sometimes? i feel like you have your way of working, your way of thinking, but might have a hard time actually communicating that or adapting to different social environments. it might be because you're headstrong, or because you are in constant fight or flight mode and so are more rigid. at the same time i think you are diligent and very detailed with what you do, and are in fact attentive to others and might notice things others don't. i feel like what you admire in wooyoung is his ability to connect with others, while not losing himself or his values. you feel for his hardships, and he helps you learn how to be more loving and more open with expressing and accepting love. he is very much your candle. (bonus: you cried because of his interview + dance in that one show, didn't you?)
jongho: how many thoughts are spinning in your head? you might be an overthinker, slightly misanthropic, and on bad days might sink to having a victim mindset and ask the universe 'why me?'. you might have had to grow up too fast, or were controlled a lot as a kid - either way, your understanding and experience of freedom and maturity might be warped. at the same time you are reliable and are able to call things out for what they are. you might have also put a positive spin on the negatives and either used them as inspiration, grew from them, or taken a skill from them that you then generalized. i think jongho's humor and innate warmth is your haven, and his continuous self-development grounds you and motivates you to also try your best and think of ways to find the good in situations. i feel you might also resonate with his occasional shyness. (bonus: you often think about his emotional strength even when he talks about his concerns, don't you?)
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crevicedwelling · 9 months
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I see at least one cool bug a day, and usually many more, but it’s not because I live anywhere particularly rich in strange, wonderful creatures (I live in an unremarkable corner of Pennsylvania, USA) or spend all of my free time looking for bugs (well, just *most* of it). in my experience, finding interesting bugs is less about actually locating them and more about looking closely at tiny things you’d otherwise ignore!
this very long post was compiled over a couple days in late July, although I spent less than 10 minutes at a time searching. there’s a lot of fun creatures just out in the open.
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plants are always a good place to start when looking for bugs, and I chose this small fig tree (Ficus carica) with a mulberry sapling friend. feeding on the sap of the fig and mulberry is the first group I’ll take a look at, the planthoppers:
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these two are flatid bugs, Metcalfa pruinosa and Flatormenis proxima. flatids are slow-moving bugs that can be approached closely, but once they get tired of circling around stems to avoid you they may launch themselves into a fluttering flight with spring-loaded rear legs.
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Aplos simplex, a member of the related family Issidae, also likes fig sap. its “tail” is actually a tuft of waxy secretions, which get shed along with the bright colors when it assumes a lumpy, bean-shaped adult form.
cicadellids, or leafhoppers, are just about everywhere on plants, but can be hard to approach without scaring them.
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Agallia constricta on the left is a tiny species that feeds on grass, but many were scared up onto the fig by my footsteps. Jikradia olitoria is a much larger species that does feed on the fig; juveniles like this are curled, creeping goblins while adults’ rounded wings give them a pill-shaped appearance.
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this big, pale leafhopper belongs to genus Gyponana. it’s tricky to get to species ID with these.
Graphocephala are striking little hoppers that eat a variety of native and nonnative plants. G. coccinea is the larger, more boldly colored one and G. versuta is smaller but more common locally. they’ll sit on the tops of leaves but take flight if you get too close quickly.
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another group you’re almost guaranteed to encounter are flies (Diptera). these are a very diverse group, so much more than houseflies and mosquitoes (though I did run into both)
where I live, any plant with broad leaves is almost guaranteed to have a few Condylostylus, long-legged flies that come in shades of blue, green, and red. despite their dainty physique, they’re agile predators, typically feeding on other small flies.
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next, a few hoverflies: the ubiquitous Toxomerus geminatus and a Eumerus that I’ve been seeing a lot of this year (but maybe I’ve just noticed them for the first time). syrphids have varied life histories, but most adults drink nectar and many of the larvae are predaceous on aphids.
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the metallic green soldier fly is Microchrysa flaviventris, nonnative here. Coenosia is a fun example of a “fly that looks like a fly,” with big red eyes and a gray body, and you might think they’re just another dung-sucking pest, but they’re actually aggressive predators! this one seemed to have nabbed itself some sort of nematoceran fly, maybe a fungus gnat.
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many flies are very tiny, just millimeters long. the first two little fellows are lauxaniids, while the last one, an agromyzid leafminer Cerodontha dorsalis, burrows through grass leaves as a larva.
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while moths and butterflies (Lepidoptera) are drawn to plants for their flowers or to lay eggs, many small moths can easily be found resting on or under leaves during the day.
these first two are tortricids, many of which are flat, rectangular moths resembling chips of bark or dead leaves. the apple bud moth, Platynota idaeusalis, feeds on a wide variety of hosts, while this beat-up old Argyrotaenia pinatubana would have developed in an edible tube nest of pine needles.
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Callima argenticinctella feeds in bark and dead wood (a resource used by more caterpillars than you’d realize!) while the last moth, possibly an Aspilanta, is a leafminer.
although beetles (Coleoptera) are famous for their diversity, I didn’t find too many on the fig. the invasive Oriental beetle Exomala orientalis resting here can be found in a wide range of colors, from this common tan to to deep iridescent black. the other beetle is a Photinus pyralis firefly, sleeping under leaves as fireflies do.
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a few spare hemipterans: a Kleidocerys resedae that blew in on a wind, and below, the mulberry whitefly Tetraleurodes mori feeds on its namesake host. as for Hymenoptera, I saw manny tiny parasitic braconid wasps and various ants attracted to the planthoppers’ honeydew excretions—always worth checking underneath roosting hoppers for things having a drink.
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a couple handsome spider boys were scrambling through the fig seeking females, a jumping spider Paraphidippus aurantius and an orbweaver, Mecynogea lemniscata.
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and to round it off, a young Conocephalus meadow katydid and a Carolina mantis, Stagmomantis carolina.
there’s 31 species of arthropod in this post, and I probably saw some 45, not all of which stayed for photos. if you walk slowly and look closely, you can see a sizeable chunk of your local biodiversity in under fifteen minutes! of course this will depend on where you live and what time of year it is, but there’s almost always more cool bugs out there than you’d expect, even on just a single plant.
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ask-pomni-blog · 1 month
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Ok this may seem like im grasping at straws here but i need you guys to let me cook for a sec-
HUGE TADC EPISODE 2 SPOILERS
We start off the episode with Pomni’s nightmare, which is a reflection of Pomni’s fears and feelings that are going to be expanded upon throughout the episode. Her main fear isn’t abstracting here, it's the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of not mattering to anybody in the circus. This is seen clearly when Ragatha, Jax, and Caine are shown above the cellar, basically saying “good riddance” upon witnessing Pomni abstract.
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And it makes complete sense that Pomni would feel this way once you look back at the circus’ reaction to Kaufmo abstracting (before the second episode). He doesn’t get acknowledged as someone who has just passed away, he doesn’t even get a moment of silence. Pomni notices this, and after she wakes up from her nightmare, she seems almost reluctant to bond with the rest of the circus members because this fear is still on her mind.
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This is seen particularly when Pomni is speaking to Ragatha. Ragatha attempts to be helpful at any given chance, but most of the time Pomni is lost in her thoughts. Pomni doesn't seem very open to conversate with Ragatha because of her fears. But this isn't unwarranted, Ragatha literally calls the situation from the day before a “doozy” which brings up the fact that Ragatha constantly dismisses important issues, saying that they should just forget about the situation that happened the day before when Pomni left her for the exit. I understand that she’s trying to ease the tension between them, but I fear she might be making it even worse. Additionally, Ragatha dismissing a very important issue like that makes Pomni’s fears stronger, it may seem to Pomni that Ragatha doesn’t care…
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When it’s actually the opposite! The whole episode she tries her best to motivate Pomni (“look, Pomni. We’re already friends with the princess!”, “So, Pomni, I’m sure there’s some way you could help out here.”)
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and she’s also very concerned for Pomni when she’s gone (“...Pomni’s still on board!”, “Oh man, Poor Pomni. I hope she's alright.”, “I’m more worried she’s having another horrible experience.”, “Pomni! Are you okay?”)
However, all these remarks could be seen as condescending from Pomni’s perspective… And on the other hand, Ragatha feels like Pomni blames her for the situation, and that Pomni dislikes her. 
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Returning to the topic of Pomni’s fears, a lot of this is also reflected in her conversation with Gummigoo:
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G:“I don’t matter in the slightest. I’m nothing. My life, my memories… my friends… it’s all fake.” 
P:“...I think I know the feeling.”
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P:“...I guess I just don't want you to feel like you’re nothing. I don’t want anyone to feel like that.”
G:“But I'm not even a real person. Would I even belong?”
P:“I’m sure you wouldn’t belong any less than me.”
Pomni relates to Gummigoo’s fears!! And Pomni is so compassionate and understanding too! …sadly their friendship didn’t last very long… and that brings us back to Ragatha and Pomni. Ragatha tries her best to be reassuring… unfortunately that didn’t work either. AND THIS WHOLE INTERACTION IS JUST- OH MY GOD... LET ME PUT A HUGE EMPHASIS ON THEIR BODY LANGUAGE HERE:
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Also the WORDING HERE:
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and this scene ooohhhhhhh,,,,,,,, this scene...!!
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POMNI IS REASSURED ONCE SHE SEES THAT THE CIRCUS MEMBERS DO CARE. THEY WOULD CARE. HER FEARS DISSAPEAR AND AND- ohhhhmy god this is so sick and twisted.. this ep was.. soooooo good. holy smokes. anyways thank you for listening to my TED talk.
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demieyesore · 2 months
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U WRITE SO GOOD?!? I HAD TO HIDE MY PHONE IN PUBLIC 💀😭 more dark Anakin PLS. I loved the dom side but now I wanna see sub side and the differences. I personally think he’s a switch tbh. It would be too boring to be dom or sun all the time BUT ANYWAYS sun dark ani.
If you need ideas: he tries to convince reader to do something (you choose), reader is his master, paranoid toxic reader and he makes it worse IDK man I just love these types of fics 🤭 I eat them up. It’s even better when the reader acts innocent but is worse 😭 honestly you could just combine shit atp and I’ll eat it up anyways
Pretty When You Cry - Anakin Skywalker
Summary - Anakin tries to manipulate you by crying after overhearing Obi-Wan convince you to leave him.
Warnings / Mentions - Kenobi!Reader, GN!Reader, AFAB!Reader, Dom!Reader, Sub!Anakin, Padawan!Anakin, Master!Reader, Toxic!Reader, Paranoid!Reader, BPD coded reader, basically just BPD x BPD couple, Reader has an innocent façade, Reader actually believes their innocent so victim complex reader, Anakin triggers reader to have an episode, def angsty fic but ends with smut, literally so much manipulation...breeding kink, crying kink, biting kink, mentions of babytrapping
A/N - The Dom part of me aches when I see men crying, I both want to care for them and make them worse, also I want to make it known that I was diagnosed with Bipolar and I'm pretty sure I have BPD as well, so I'm hoping that anyone who reads this that has BPD relates to it and that it isn't just my bipolar lol, ALSO THANK YOUUUUU❤️❤️❤️
Requested - Yes
Word Count - 2556 words
Taglist - @vixxensvoid @maevesversion @sockiess @stylesslytherinskywalker @myheadhurtscutely @yourenogoodforme @xzaddyzanakinx (just bc I thought you might like this one, let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in the future)
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It was really no surprise when you were yet again talking to your older brother about your problems with Anakin. He was already well aware the both of you were breaking the code, but he never said anything to anyone since you were his beloved sibling. Obi-Wan always assumed that he could get you to stop the relationship with Anakin but he never anticipated just how abusive you were to each other. 
He often remembers the time when he saw tears streaming down your face, you were sobbing, begging Anakin not to leave you, even at some parts yelling at him. Obi was quite shocked when he heard you yelling at Anakin about how much you hated the Padawan. It was like you were so full of love for young Skywalker, most days you would do anything to make him smile. But there were times, periods where you would do nothing but scream about how much you hated life. Episodes where you were so paranoid about people leaving you, that it was like a flip switched. 
One where the light pink aura of love would turn to a fire of red hot flames. It was such a black and white way of thinking. Obi-Wan knows that it's not your fault you act this way. The abusive household you were in wired you to be this way. And it was clear that Anakin had a similar experience. 
You and Anakin were so complicated. You both were so devoted to each other. Always making sure to have the other's back on missions. But at the same time, you made each other worse. 
Anakin was originally Obi-Wan's Padawan before getting transferred to you. You had just become a Master Jedi, when Obi requested the switch. He truly believed at the time that you would help Anakin become the best Jedi he could be. He saw how you interacted before Anakin became your Padawan. He had no idea about the little crush you both had on each other, only seeing how motivated Anakin would get around you to be better. A passion that Anakin didn't have when working with Obi-Wan. 
This time, you were wrapped in your brother's arms. He was whispering reassuring things to you, trying to get you to calm down. The three of you were on a mission, body guarding and sworn to protect Padme. Anakin was currently watching over her as she slept. But as soon as you saw how Anakin looked at Padme, that little flip switched.
The one where you felt so much hate for him. The one that kept teeter tottering between the love for him and the feeling that he was about to abandon you. 
"Obi- I...I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I thought he loved me but the way he was looking at her. He was openly flirting with her. Right in front of me, like I wasn't even there. He can't leave me, I won't let him Obi. I swear to the maker that he won't." Your brother felt...distraught for you. It was a hard emotion to explain. He was worried for you, and for Anakin. But he felt that this whole situation was his fault. If Obi-Wan hadn't asked the council to let Anakin train under you, you wouldn't be in such despair. You wouldn't feel physical pain in your chest just from your emotions.
"I fear I've made a mistake." Obi-Wan admitted as his hand caressed your hair in a soothing manner. "I believe that it would be best if Anakin were to be my Padawan again." He tried to tread lightly on the subject, not wanting to make your episode worse.
"No, no, no, Obi please, it's fine, I'll be fine. I know that he's- that I'm...I know that Anakin and I aren't..great for each other but please. I can't be without him." You desperately gripped onto his shirt, trying to make your point clear to him. Anakin was just outside, eavesdropping on the conversation. Padme was sleeping soundly in the next room, he didn't need to be in the room with her to know if something was happening. But he did need to hear this conversation. He needed to make sure that you wouldn't leave him. He wanted to make sure that Obi-Wan wouldn't...influence you into making any bad decisions.
"He's hurting you, don't be blind to that. You're hurting him too. You don't want that, do you?" Obi-Wan asked, his face showing sincere concern.
Regularly, if Obi were to have said that, you would have flipped at him for trying to take Anakin away from you. But in the confusion and pain of your mind. The images flooding into your brain of Anakin and Padme. You only heard the first part of your brother's sentence.
"He's hurting you..." Kept repeating in your head, like someone recorded a hologram of his voice and played it on loop. It just kept getting louder, the button being pressed again, putting you into a fit of rage.
"You're right." You couldn't bare to say anything else. The silence afterwards was so deafening that Anakin had to hold back his tears in fear of you hearing his breath through the door. It was like an emptiness was injected into your veins. A thick silver liquid that would taste like you were choking on mercury. Your mind was so...blank. There were no longer multiple voices in your head yelling. This one was quiet. So eerily quiet.
Anakin wiped his tears, going back towards the room where Padme lays asleep. He felt betrayed, but he couldn't blame you. All his anger was pushed onto Obi-Wan. Anakin was delusional, he fully believed that Obi was the problem. Not him and definitely not you. He knew that he had to persuade you into changing your mind. And what better way than for you to see him crying? Your heart was always so...malleable whenever he was crying. You would always comfort him, your left hand running through his hair while your right would rest on the nape of his neck, playing with the baby hairs. 
You'd have your eyebrows furrowed in concern for him but he could always see the part of you that enjoyed it. The way that when he'd wipe his tears or the way that his lower lip would quiver always sent a small smile to your face. Even while crying, you thought he was pretty. You'd look at him with such...adoration, admiration and even a little lust. When he'd look into your eyes and ask for help, when he'd beg for you to save him, he'd notice how your pupils expanded, dilated with desire. The way that your thighs would clench shut.
Once Obi-Wan calmed you down enough, you collected yourself, thanking your brother for once again helping you to see straight. You pushed open the door, Obi following behind you into the hallway only to see Anakin sitting against Padme's door. Tears dripping down from his eyes. His hands were hanging loosely over his knees as he stared harshly at the ground. 
Obi-Wan held up his hand, signaling to you that he would watch over Padme as you talked to Anakin.
Anakin moved, leaning forward to let Obi into the Previous queen's chambers. His tearful eyes glanced up into yours, already taking note of how you stared back at him like he was nothing. He would have to play more into it just to get you to come back to him. He'd be lying if he said that your empty eyes didn't scare him.
You grabbed his wrist, pulling him into one of the spare bedrooms far away from Padme's. Not wanting to disturb her sleep. 
You said nothing at first, not even looking at him as he sat on the edge of the bed. Your back face him as you zoned out, still staring at the now closed door. You had nothing in your mind, absolutely nothing. But you were still so wrapped up in your mind. You felt like you weren't present in your body. 
The only thing that brought you back to the present moment was the sound of Anakin beginning to whimper. He sounded like he was in pain. And even though you were so upset and mad with him, you'd rather slit your own throat than to hear him in agony. You quickly turned around to see Anakin sinking in on himself, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to not let more tears fall. Your heart ached, your body reacting before you even thought.
Your knees hit the floor in front of the bed, your hands resting on his knees as you looked up into his eyes. Wet droplets falling onto his shirt, the material soaking it up.
"What's wrong Babyboy?" You were slightly shocked to hear your own voice, your body still responding out of impulse. Anakin immediately knew that he had you, you were back in his grasp and it was time for him to mold you into what he wanted, what he needed you to be. 
"He turned you against me." Anakin said sharply, making eye contact. You could see the anger and betrayal in his soul. "Ani, what are you talking about?" The sweetness ripples out of your mouth, despite the fact that you knew exactly what he was talking about. You knew that he must have been listening if he was crying.
"Obi-Wan. He made you hate me. You're gonna leave me. How could you?" His voice shook, cracking at the end from pain. Your hand shot up to his cheek, wiping a stray as you caressed his face. 
"I could never hate you. Not entirely..." You breathe out in a sigh. You were so worried about him but then you saw the little tremble of his bottom lip, the way he leaned into your touch, making you feel so loved, so appreciated, so important.
"You know that I hate seeing you cry..." You lied through your teeth, trying to keep up the mask of only worry. of course you were worried about him, but you never wanted him to know the deeper feelings you feel when he cries.
"Liar." Ani let out a choked laugh, a cute grin spreading across his face albeit tears were adorning it. "You love seeing me cry." He whispers, like he was reminding you of your own secret.
"It's not my fault." You defended as a joke, your face full of devotion for him.
"That's just what you do, because I'm pretty when I cry." Anakin rolled his eyes, the redness and puffiness from crying becoming more evident on his face. His lips were swollen, bitten raw.
"The prettiest." You said, leaning up to peck at his lips, just giving him a quick little kiss, but Anakin wanted more. He whined when you broke the contact, inviting you to kiss him more, kiss him with passion and fire. So you did just that, reconnecting your lips, practically devouring him in the kiss. 
He moaned into the kiss, the sensation reverberating throughout your bones before settling in your core.
"I don't care how bad we are for each other, you're mine and always will be." You muttered against his mouth, feeling when he smiled into the kiss. You stood up from your spot on the floor in front of him and quickly discarded your clothes, leaving yourself in just your bra and underwear. You straddled his lap, kissing him once more as you tugged at his shirt.
He aided you in the removal of his shirt, groaning against your lips when he felt you grind against his boner.
"Stop..." He mumbled in a whimper at your teasing.
You held onto his shoulders, feeling the muscles just beneath the skin. Trailing your hands down to his pants, swiftly undoing them. You pulled them as far down as you could while straddling his lap. Your hand slipped past his briefs and gently grasped his length. Anakin shifted uncomfortably at the touch, his back straightening as his breathing stopped momentarily. 
Your touch always was the death of him but your breath, your kiss, always brought him back.
"Master, please-" He whimpered, his mouth wavering into a quick frown. You bit at his lip, shutting him up. You pulled away from the kiss, looking down as you pumped his cock in your hand a couple of times, collecting the shared saliva from the kiss and spitting onto his tip. 
His Adams apple bobbed, his hands gripping the side of the bed sharply. His head fell back, eyes fluttering shut as your hand worked up and down his length. He clenched his jaw, trying his hardest to keep his mouth shut but it was nearly impossible to stay quiet. The pleasure he felt from your voice alone would make him cum almost instantly, your hand just added more shockwaves.
"You don't have to be silent..." You remind him, mocking the way he's trying so hard to not make any noise.
He moans, whimpering and squirming under your touch when he leans forward, his forehead resting against your shoulder.
"Please just..." He stutters out, biting his tongue as he lifts his hips, sliding his cock up into your hand more.
"So needy..." You teased, stopped all your movement. Anakin's head flew up, looking into your eyes with desperation. He was about to complain when you lifted yourself, pulling your underwear to the side and swiping his tip through your folds. The feeling made him groan in pleasure, sucking in a deep breath of air.
You teased him for a little bit longer, his pre-cum pressing against your clit when you finally put all your weight onto him. His cock sinking into your entrance. He choked out a sob of pleasure, feeling how tight you were around him. He wrapped his arms around you, his mouth latching onto your shoulder, biting down as he thrusted up into you. Your own moans just fueled him to do better, reach deeper. His tears stained your skin, his whimpers vibrating against your shoulder. 
"Please, I want-" His question is cut off when he feels you pulsate around him, his eyes widening with need. "Please, baby just let me- need to cum so bad...Master please, I need to cum- cum inside you-" He begged, his desperation dripping off him in the form of sweat. 
"You want to cum inside?" You ask, mocking his need. Anakin swallowed thickly, "You can't- you can't leave me if you're pregnant." He whimpers as he kisses the side of your neck, sucking the skin and leaving purplish red bruises.
You grind down, meeting him when he thrusts. "Such a pretty boy, I'd be so mean to say no...only because you're crying all pretty for me." You mumble, kissing the spot of skin closest to where your head rests against him. 
Anakin holds you tightly, almost as if he's afraid you'll whither away, a bead of sweat drops from his forehead as he comes undone with one last thrust. His white hot cum leaking out from his tip and filling you. He thrusts up into you twice more, his grip on you possessive.
"I won't let you ever leave me." Ani mutters as he comes down from his climax, while you're still catching your breath, your cunt fluttering around him.
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temis-de-leon · 2 months
Text
MC with a selfish best friend
MC mourning the loss of a long toxic friendship with the help of the brothers.
Characters: demon brothers and fem!MC (written as platonic, but could be read as romantic)
Masterlist , Part 2 (kind of)
CW: continued discussion about weight gain and weight loss, eating as a coping mechanism, obssesive and manipulative behaviour, emotional blackmail, a glimpse of animal neglect, a tiny nod at suicide, MC trying to hide her feelings, anxiety, TLC from the brothers
A/N: kind of self insert because I'm writing my own experience, so this isn't the most relatable MC. Still, I hope you enjoy it! Remember I'm not a native english speaker, so there might be some grammar mistakes.
.
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Back then, not that long ago, MC was completely sure she wouldn’t go any further in life. She was stuck in college, in her family and her friend group. There was a dynamic she could work through and, although it could be better, she wasn’t one to complain.
It was a flooded basement with filthy water, but at least it lacked rats.
She just needed some time to start working on herself. Go to therapy, lose some weight maybe? Start cooking again and stop wasting money on fast food. She did use to enjoy spending time in the kitchen and experimenting, after all, but the only things she cooked during her last months in the human realm were mugcakes and pasta. Not necessarily nutritious, but easy to make.
Thank god she had her best friend.
Her companion in the basement, the one with the flashlight.
MC wished she let her hold her hand too.
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“She’s overthinking again. Not good”
“Look who’s talking”
“Hey! It was just a joke!”
“Should we talk to her?”
“Maybe when she comes back, else we’ll give her a heart attack”
“Yeah, Lucifer would kill us”
“Oh, so now we’re doing this for Lucifer?”
“Don’t be selfish, Mammon”
“Who ya calling selfish?”
“Ugh”
MC listened carefully, softly smiling at Beel and Levi’s voices drowning Mammon’s in an almost silent screaming match.
She couldn’t see them from her position, her upper body completely sprawled over the armrest and her line of sight lost in the ashes of the chimney. The fire cracked, threatening to die in front of her, but it was difficult to get up when her body weighted so much. She was tired and hungry and nauseous and even the idea of sitting straight sent bile to her mouth.
Then someone walked into the common room, shushing harshly and getting the other brothers to cease their fighting. Whoever it was, probably Lucifer or Satan, must have thought she was asleep.
So MC closed her eyes, hiding her face in the crook of her arm and basking in the comfortable silence. She could hear them still; the shuffle of cards, a plastic wrapper, buttons and joysticks.
The newcomer got close to her, covering her body with a blanket and sitting at her feet before opening a book. There was enough space in the couch for at least two more people, but MC still curled up, trying to make more room for him. She stopped in her tracks when he grabbed her ankle in a gentle grip, a gesture that brought some warmth where her pants didn’t reach.
Would someone add another log for the fire? Everyone seemed too comfortable to move.
At least the blanket was thick. Pure hellish wool or something, because every animal in the Devildom was just a bigger scarier version of those in the human realm. It was also, however, softer than any type of textile she could’ve ever find back home, so the creature could spit fire for all she cared.
Suddenly, the brother caressing her ankle tightened his grip for a short moment, demanding her attention. When MC opened her eyes, she found Satan smiling at her with no one else in the room. She must’ve fallen asleep after all.
“Dinner is ready”
He let her stretch, unconsciously comparing her to a cat when she arched her back and cracked every possible bone in her body. Satan wondered if that ever hurt, but MC seemed to enjoy it very much whenever she had the occasion to do so, like when they came home from classes after a long day or when they bought groceries for the whole week and Beel. 
“Did you not sleep well last night?”
“Not for a while, no”
“Is that so? Something troubling you, MC? Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t know”
She sounded sincere, but Satan didn’t buy it. Only a month had passed since MC came back to the Devildom, looking a bit more tired than when she left at the end of the first year of the program, and she’d acted ecstatic when she learnt she would be living with them again.
He was sure the problem relied in her human phone, something she didn’t have last year and Diavolo had kindly allowed her to keep.
All of his brothers, even the eldest, were greatly impressed when MC showed them how she unlocked the device with her fingerprints, as well as the human versions of Devilgram, Deviltube and Akuzon. That was a fun day, but time passed and soon the phone became an inconvenience. Someone at the other side of the line was taking their beloved human’s time, leaving her exhausted in the aftermath of their conversations and, if Satan vision’s was correct, teary eyed.
That would not continue. Not on his watch.
“We’ll look into it in another moment. Right now, let’s go with the others. Aren’t you hungry?”
“God, yes!”
They both chuckled and he forced his thoughts away. They could wait for the time being.
.
.
Beel didn’t judge her, but she didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would whenever they sneaked in the kitchen at the late hours of the night.
Opening the fridge door with slow movements, trying not to make noise while taking plates or bowls and eating in silence between giggles and short whispers brought a sort of familiarity. And Beel never judged MC. Why would he? He ate even more than her. He’d keep going long after she was finished, full enough to want to puke everything, and MC would feel a wicked satisfaction knowing that no matter how much she ate, there was someone that would eat much more.
Those nights she’d go to bed feeling sick and greasy, too regretful and high on sugar to be tired. Then, by morning, she’d force herself to eat breakfast and go on with her day just to get whatever sense of normality she could reach.
Although, lately, things had been slightly different.
They still got together at night and filled their mouths to the brim, but Beel was adamant about MC going to the gym with him when the morning came, before everyone was out of bed. Of course she’d said no since the beginning, but he kept insisting, saying she didn’t have to exercise if she didn’t want to.
MC still said no.
Then Asmodeus put his input.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do, hon’, but you aren’t getting your 8 hours of sleep and you’re adding calories during the night. That’s horrible for your skin!”
And had it been her mother saying that, MC would’ve lashed out, rejecting opinions she’d been hearing for years over and over and over again, but this was Asmo. The Avatar of Lust. The most beautiful demon in the entire Devildom. MC guessed she wasn’t being fair to her mother, who also loved her and hated seeing her so sick and tired all the time, when it was Asmo she couldn’t ignore.
“I get anxious when I go to bed” she finally confessed.
MC could feel Satan’s eyes on her, but he stayed silent.
“Spend the night with me” intervened Belphie with an honest smile, a muted worry in his eyes “I could make you so tired you wouldn’t want to get out of bed”
“No way!”
Everyone looked at Mammon and several sighs filled the room. The demon, although deeply blushing, kept talking with an overbearing smugness.
“If someone’s gonna sleep with her, it’s gonna be me! Don’t worry MC, the Great Mammon will chase the nightmares away!”
“I think sleeping with you would give her nightmares, actually”
Mammon turned to Levi, ready to swing at his brother, but MC talked before the fight started.
“It’s not nightmares, Mams, I just feel anxious. You know, like, I can’t stop thinking”
“About what?”
She looked at Satan, who was staring at her with a calculating glance, surely remembering what she told him days before when she fell asleep on the couch.
“I don’t know… Everything, I guess”
All of them stayed silent, ignoring what they were previously doing. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, but MC wished someone said anything.
Of course, Mammon spoke first.
“Well, that’s a lot”
“No shit, you moron”
Levi finally got smacked and the rest of them went back to do their own thing, letting MC’s lack of sleep behind. A part of her wanted to keep the conversation going, but she felt too embarrassed when she tried to open her mouth again, especially having Satan looking at her like a hawk.
You don't want me to stare at you? I want to. What's the problem?
She achieved to ignore him in the end.
That night she stayed in her room, pacing, chewing her sweatshirt’s aglet while humming that Phineas and Ferb’s song and turning her headphone’s volume to the maximum with a different music threatening to deteriorate her hearing.
Anything to distract herself and not go to the kitchen.
Finally, hours after bidding the brothers goodnight, MC threw herself on the bed. Her feet were aching, its footprints surely engraved in the carpet, and she forgot to take her headphones off, making the position uncomfortable, but the important thing was that she didn’t have the need to eat anymore.
However, Beel still knocked her door at dawn.
MC stared at him when she opened, bleary-eyed and mouth as dry as cotton, the hem of her pyjama pants so high they looked like pantaloons. He, on the other hand, was completely awake and seemed ready to conquer the day.
“Before you say anything, I’m not going to the gym today”
There was a heavy silence for a couple of seconds.
“Then why did you wake me up? We have classes tomorrow”
Beel stared at her with a worried expression.
“We don’t. It’s Saturday”
“Ah”
She could’ve sleep longer? MC wished she was mad at him, but his puppy stare was hypnotizing.
“I want to go for a walk today. And I want you to come with me”
He lowered his gaze for a moment, biting his cheek while waiting for an answer. MC turned around and looked at the window, still unable to decipher what time it was by looking at the sky.
There were a few things MC missed from the human realm. The sun was one of them.
“We could go to the park, feed some birds and then have breakfast somewhere else. I swear I won’t eat the seeds this time"
She chuckled, rolling her eyes when he smiled back. Then she looked down at the rolled pants and her bare legs.
“Is it cold?”
“I don’t think so, but you can borrow my jacket”
MC sighed and rubbed her eyes, waiting until the white spots disappeared before walking towards her closet. She wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, she knew that.
“Let me change and then we’re going. But you owe me one, Beel!”
His smile was too wide for him to answer.
.
.
Breakfast with Beel ended up lasting three whole hours, which was understandable, and they spent the whole time talking about nothing and almost everything, both of them clearly avoiding the subject of her sleeping habits.
MC really did want to talk about it, but then again, what did she want to talk about exactly? She had trouble falling asleep, yes, and she’d gone back to eating her feelings, but she couldn’t point out the reason. Her nights were filled with paranoia, making her revaluate every piece of interaction she’d had since she got back home from the Devildom months ago. Did she spoke correctly? Did people understand that she was just studying abroad and not begging for attention?
She hoped her best friend dropped those accusations. MC would never stoop so low. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.
“Don’t you want anything else?”
MC looked at Beel and the stack of plates surrounding him at the table, mugs and cardboard boxes stained with chocolate, whipped cream and frosting. Her side of the booth was much cleaner, but when she lowered her gaze the only thing she could think of were mugcakes and pasta and the taste of bile in her mouth at the sight of her bloated stomach.
“No, I’m fine”
She knew he loved her. She knew she could talk to him and he would listen and maybe even hold her hand, but the small restaurant was already filled with demons and witches and whatnot and MC knew she’d only be able to sob the moment she’d open her mouth, so she stayed quiet.
Beel nodded, going back to his food with a strange calmness. Maybe he was close to being full?
But no, it wasn’t that.
MC gasped when she felt his foot weakly tapping hers before going under it to support its weight. A small comfort, like the prelude of a long awaited hug.
He didn’t know how much she appreciated it.
.
.
Winter had already reached the Devildom the day MC opened her closet and stared at her clothes. No matter what she chose, everything was at least a size bigger.
She guessed finally going to the gym with Beel did have some payoff.
“Is something wrong, MC?”
Asmo turned the lights of her bathroom off, walking where she was silently standing while staring at the discarded clothes around her.
“You don’t feel like dressing up today? We can stay home and do some self-care if you want”
MC turned around to look at him with gratitude. She knew how much he wanted to go shopping, especially with her. Finals ended just the day before and everyone had been so occupied they’d barely seen each other outside classes and meal times.
“Don’t worry, it’s not that. It’s just that… everything feels wrong. I think I lost weight”
He chuckled at her revelation, hugging her waist and kissing her cheek between giggles.
“You’re taking care of yourself, silly! Whatever are you doing with Beel in the gym, I wonder…?”
She laughed and lightly hit his arm, showing no ill intent, and Asmo smiled in response, not bothering to hide his lewd expression.
“Don’t be nasty!”
 “Oh, I’m just joking! But you know what this means, right? We get to renew your whole closet!”
MC turned around again, perfectly knowing that she could either spent her monthly allowance on clothes or start thinking on how she could rock the oversize streetwear style.
She sighed, trying to hide her smile with no success before speaking again. Asmo’s eyes were stuck on her.
“Very well, then” she wasn’t finish talking yet when the demon clapped his hands and jumped in excitement “I’ll trust your criteria”
He gasped and hit her arm in return.
“As you should!”
.
.
“So… how do I look?”
Mammon whistled, clapping and signalling her to turn around in response. Once she did a little twirl, he clapped even harder, not stopping even when she blushed in embarrassment and ran towards him to stop his overly excited appreciation.
“You look mighty fine, MC!”
“Stop!”
“Has anyone ever told you how hot you look?”
“Stop!!”
They were both laughing, her chasing him all around his room with burning cheeks and a gigantic smile.
The shopping bags waited patiently at the door, half of them already empty with a pile of clothes folded on the couch. Mammon had insisted on a private catwalk the moment he learnt she’d gone shopping with Asmo, his offense completely gone barely half an hour after starting the show in his room.
Every time she changed in his opened closet he’d cover his eyes with his hands and every time she came out with a new outfit he’d scream praises like a madman.
MC wasn’t used to this level of compliments and he sure was making it hard to stay calm.
“C’mon, go change again!”
“You’re acting insane right now, Mams”
She was smiling like crazy and her cheeks were hurting, but she didn’t want it to stop. When was the last time someone had been this hyped over her looking pretty? She couldn’t remember.
Then her phone rang.
MC stopped smiling when she saw the name on the screen.
She thought about answering and spoiling a nice evening because of a sour one-sided conversation. Was it worth it? Sure her friend could wait a couple more hours, right? She’d survived without MC the whole year she spent at the Devildom uncommunicated, after all.
“Is it The Unnameable?”
MC stared at her phone for one more second before turning around to look at Mammon, who was kneeling on the couch with his arms crossed over the backrest, eyes peeking with curiosity and another feeling she couldn’t identify.
“The Unname… Robdemor??”
He nodded, blushing and looking away.
“Yeah. You know, like, her name brings bad luck or some shit”
“She doesn’t bring bad luck”
MC didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted to and Mammon’s incredulity proved her point.
“Don’t be stupid, MC”
The pot calling the kettle back, she wanted to say, but no words came to her mouth. She was being stupid, wasn’t she? Everyone at the house already knew what to expect whenever her phone ringed or vibrated and they always did their best to distract her so she could leave the damn thing behind. She suspected Belphie even turned it off at one point.
Staring at her feet, trying to voice her feelings, MC talked again.  
“She just… needs me sometimes”
“Sometimes??”
Mammon got up, going around the couch to reach her. He looked flabbergasted, eyes opened wide and a myriad of words stuck in his throat.
The phone stopped ringing, but soon a flood of messages interrupted the silence to call for her attention instead. When she looked back at Mammon, he had frustration in his eyes.
She decided then she couldn’t bear to see him like this, so serious and reasonable. Was it too late to go back to chasing each other, laughing while trying new clothes? She’d been capable of keeping her feelings to herself since she could remember, but Mammon wouldn’t let her do that and she feared the moment the rest of the brothers decided enough was enough too.
God, she needed to talk, but not right now. Talking would make it real and she still wasn’t strong enough for the whole situation to be real.
In a matter of seconds her eyes were watering and she felt as if her throat had thorns stuck in her flesh, but before she could do anything about it there were arms wrapping around her. MC wasted no time hugging Mammon back, trying her hardest not to spoil any tears. The tags in the back of her new shirt poked her skin, making her squirm and get even closer to Mammon’s body.
He was rocking her side to side while petting her hair and there was no doubt he’d deny the whole ordeal happening afterwards, but she let herself enjoy the feeling anyways. It was nice being taken care of.
.
.
It was the first time MC had gone to bed so early since before college. Her eyelids felt heavy and the bed was soft and comfortable, at least three blankets shielding her from the cold outside that froze her window and sunk her room in darkness.
But she couldn’t stop staring at her phone.
She’d turned the vibration off days ago, but that didn’t stop the notifications from showing up on the lock screen and, although she could also take care of that, MC still wanted to be able to read the messages without needing to open the app.
Her best friend talked about everything, good or bad. Mostly bad. How she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her, even when she was the one cheating on him, how much she was eating because there was no one to stop her, how tired she was to even clean her cat’s litter box. She’d say if MC were there everything would be so much better, she wouldn’t feel so lonely.
She didn’t ask about MC once.
“You’re thinking so hard it’s giving me a headache”
MC’s body violently jerked at Belphie’s voice.
He’d entered the room in silence, closing the door and approaching her bed without making any noise. Seeing her freaking out made him snicker, but he was too tired to fully laugh and simply laid down next to her.
“Jesus, Belphie”
“No, just me”
“Ha ha ha”
Her sarcasm didn’t affect him in the slightest. MC watched as he closed his eyes and offered his hand to held hers in a firm grasp, probably not wanting to let her go during the night.
“Turn that damn thing off” he growled against the pillow when a new message showed up.
“I’ve seen you sleep on the ground before; you can’t complain about some light”
“Watch me”
She thought he was just joking, challenging her like a small child would, but Belphie managed to surprise her when he rolled over her body, grabbed the phone and threw it to the other side of the room.
“Belphie!”
He shushed, sealing her lips under his hand before hugging her body with all four limbs, trapping her under the covers.
MC could’ve complained and hit him until he let her go to retrieve the phone, but that would’ve meant pissing him off and staring at the screen for another hour or until her friend decided it was time to show some interest in MC’s life.
Whoa.
So that’s what it was.
That simple, uh?
MC waited for something to happen at her epiphany. Nausea, panic, heavy breathing. Instead, she felt an overpowering sense of relief. Her heartbeat evened and the frown she didn’t know she had in her forehead disappeared.
No headache, no memories. For once, no nothing.
“You’re not dying, aren’t you?”
Belphie’s head rose, looking at her with suspicion, but her eyes were stuck in the ceiling.
“Why? Would you feel guilty?
He stood over her then, pouting and frowning, and MC had to stop herself from laughing.
“Okay, you know what? I already said I was sorry. You can’t hold that against me for the rest of your life”
“I will as long as I can get something out of it”
“You’re evil”
“Said the demon”
His head fell face first on the pillow with a thud and if she didn’t know him any better, she’d be worried about him suffocating to death during the night.
“Why did you ask that, tho?” MC finally talked.
“Your heart stopped for a second” he shrugged and mumbled, his hold on her hand stronger than before.
“Oh… Well… Don’t worry. I’m okay”
“Are you sure?”
No, not really, but she didn’t want to talk about it in that moment. Maybe another time, when her speech wasn’t slurred due to sleep and she could organize her thoughts with a clear mind.
She hummed as an answer before speaking one last time.
“Goodnight, Belphie”
“Sweet dreams, MC”
He’d make sure of that.
.
.
MC had been quiet for a while. Not out of sadness nor ire, but something much more private. Something that left her pensive and still, staring into nothing with a serious expression. She laughed and talked with the brothers and, from what he heard, she enjoyed going to the gym with Beel, but Lucifer knew there was another factor escaping his reach.
Whatever it was, it changed MC for the better, so he was happy.
Even when the strangest ideas crossed her mind.
“I think I’m going to cut my hair”
He looked at her, clicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw her sitting sideways in one of the chairs with her feet resting in the other. She had a book resting in her lap. How long had she been looking at him and not reading?
“May I ask why?”
“I need a change”
Lucifer stared, taking his glasses off before crossing his arms over the document he was previously reading. MC got up and walked, zigzagging her way towards his desk as if she was drunk, but she looked as hopeful as ever.
“Did something happen?”
She nodded, ignoring his question right after.
“One of these days I’m just gonna… grab a glass of wine, go to the bathroom and bam! Haircut”
He raised an eyebrow, trying to hide a smile at her words. He hadn’t seen her so playful in months and the sudden change felt like a breath of fresh air.
“Do you even like wine, MC?”
“That’s not the point”
“And you shouldn’t use scissors while drunk, especially near your head” he ignored her “If it’s money you’re worried about, I can pay for a good hairdresser”
She laughed and shook her head, partially sitting on the desk. They stayed silent for a few seconds and Lucifer let himself observe her, how she bit her bottom lip deep in thought and how her fingers intertwined with a certain force. She was probably hurting herself at that point.
“I just really need a change”
He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but that seemed to be enough for the moment. The silence afterwards felt full with comfort.
“That’s fine”
MC nodded and sent him a small smile before going back to the chair, this time sitting with her knees stuck to her chest, but before he could put his glasses on to continue his work, she spoke again.
“Here’s what we’re going to do: I cut my hair in the bathroom and then you take me to the hairdresser to style it. Sounds good?”
“Are you going to drink while using the scissors?”
“I’m not a child, Lucifer”
“Might as well”
“Hey!”
“Just joking” he laughed, but MC could tell there was some seriousness behind his smile.
“I drink wine, I cut my hair and you check I don’t stab myself on accident, how about that?”
Lucifer pondered about it, envisioning himself behind her and watching over her reflection in the mirror, a bottle of wine in the countertop and another of Demonus waiting for them in the music room. She’d be the one to clean the aftermath, that bit was obvious, but something told him she wouldn’t really care about that.
The more he thought about it, the less strength he had to fight it. She could’ve asked Asmodeus or Mammon, but she asked him. MC wanted him to be with her during her progress, as stupid as the method was.
“Sounds like a plan to me, MC”
Her smile at his words was worth millions.
.
.
It wasn’t until several hours had passed that MC wondered if Levi invited her to his room with a hidden motive in mind.
The anime came out less than a day ago and she’d never even seen an ad about it, but he’d thoroughly claimed it was made for her.
And she could see why he would say that, honestly.
Sure, no ancient dying star granted her any mystical powers that allowed her to soar the skies or wear an alarmingly short sparkly dress; and she didn’t have an animal sidekick or a romantic interest that only appeared at night for some reason. She didn’t have an arch nemesis either, but she did have the closest thing.
MC was the selfish one, apparently, because how could she? How could MC have the audacity to ignore her best friend’s messages in her desperate times of need? Her boyfriend broke up with her because he discovered the cheating and no one was there to remind her of feeding the cat, neither to monitor her diet nor to fix the consequences of her bad decisions. She was in the lowest point of her life and MC dared to lose weight and spend time with her new friends? Outrageous!
MC unlocked her phone and stared in silence at the new text and voice messages, as well as some missed calls.
You disappoint me, MC.
After all I did for you?
I’ll die and it’ll be your fault.
I’ll die and I’ll make sure you’re the one to discover my body.
You’ll never be able to forget about me then.
You’re disgusting.
MC stared at the screen, not knowing if she should laugh or cry about it. In the end she chuckled and forced down the sting in her throat.
The TV in front of her suddenly turned into a kaleidoscope and she squinted as the heroine jumped from platform to platform, blasting her wand and singing spells. If she understood correctly, the cheery character was fighting her way through the first big boss of the season, her friends close behind her.
She could feel Levi’s eyes on her, no doubt studying her reactions to see if she liked the anime as much as he did.
“Hey, Henry!”
MC turned to look at him and smiled brightly at his rosy cheeks. She expected him to explain some hidden lore or the meaning behind the soundtrack, but he surprised her with his next words.
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t told you yet, but your hair looks so cool!”
“Oh!” she widely opened her eyes in appreciation, showing her teeth in a beaming smile right after “Thanks, Levi!”
“You look… eh… upgraded. Well, no, not upgraded. Erm…” he avoided her gaze for the next few seconds before pausing the anime, letting the room go back to silence. MC kept quiet, trying not to laugh at his awkwardness so he wouldn’t misunderstand the situation.
“You look really pretty, MC. Even better than her”
Levi nodded at the TV and MC stared at the heroine, the pause conveniently showing her winning pose. Big sparkly eyes winking at her and a knowing smile occupying half of her face, as if she was approving Levi’s affirmation.
MC felt the need to cry right then and there, but she held it in.
Her phone lighted up one last time before she grabbed it and turned it off in anger. She had a couple of seconds before the screen permanently went back to black, letting her read the last message.
Who do you think you are? How could you do this to me?
MC seethed. She knew who she was, even if she was still learning. Her hands itched and she forced herself not to throw the phone on the ground with all her strength. She still needed it to talk to other friends and relatives, after all.
After an entire minute filled with tense silence, MC spoke, suddenly meek and shy.
 “Hey Lev…”
“MC?”
He was staring her with caring eyes, unsure of what to do or what to say.
Fortunately, for the first time in a long while, MC knew what she needed to do. For herself and no one else.
“Would you help me change my phone number?”
She could write down the numbers of those she cared about the most and send a message asking them not to share hers without her permission.
Take care of her arch nemesis without destroying the entire world. Accept the help of people who showed joy at her improvement. Buy new clothes, change her style, cut her hair.
God, walking without that heavy weight on her shoulders would be difficult and painful, but she’d rather die before letting her ex best friend destroy her will and power one last time.
She laughed with a choke and Levi gasped her name.
She was crying.
.
.
.
@ourfinalisation
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elbiotipo · 12 days
Text
So, remember the 5000 TONS OF FOOD that were supposed to go to community kitchens that Milei's administration refused to give (even though legally the Argentine state should?) Here's the very, very abridged story so far:
When Milei was inagurated, because of his anti-state spending fanaticism, he concentrated the ministries of education, health, science and technology and others into a single mega "human capital" ministry. The name is dystopian enough, but he also put his personal "friend" Sandra Pettovello in charge. Pettovello has just a 2-years degree in "family science" and no experience at all with administration and she was left with all that. Predictably, things are turning to shit, universities and science are defunded (which as you can imagine has affected me very personally), cancer patients have already died because of lack of medicine, and basically everything related to education health and social justice in Argentina is being defunded and in crisis.
The Human Capital (literally 1984) ministry was also supposed to support community kitchens (comedores) which provide for poor people are often administered by popular associations. These associations, being left-leaning and anti-Milei are often hit with accussations of corruption, which are sometimes true, but never to the extent that they're accussed of. So Milei and Pettovello retained, again, 5000 TONS OF FOOD that were supposed to feed hungry people until they 'investigated' these popular associations. Of the hundreds and hundreds of acussations, less than two dozens are currently being investigated. Pettovello insulted the people who said they were going hungry saying that they could queque in the Human Capital ministry and she'll recieve them (and they did as a sort of protest).
Many activists like Grabois (the evil leftist zurdo kirchnerist) demanded through the justice that the food was released. The government and its trolls called them thieves, corrupt, etc. etc. and they started lying (as in the official spokesman, the puppet Adorni) that the food was reserved for emergencies (it was requested for recent emergencies and denied) then that it was of poor quality (it wasn't), and Grabois and other denounced that the food was going to expire, and it should be released NOW. Even pro-Milei right-wing journalists had to recognize that Grabois was right, and hell is freezing over. Meanwhile the chief of cabinet, head of ministers, whatever the translation, was fired for spying and likely insulting Milei's sister. How did Milei respond to this political crisis? He went in honeymoon with his sister to visit some shitty tech CEO forum. He cannot stop visiting shitty right-wing forums.
Finally Pettovello and the government (not Milei, he's busy sucking CEO cock in the US) admited that the food, especially powdered milk, was about to expire and should be distributed by the army (which has no idea what to do but that's how the right thinks), and to cover herself, she threw one of her secretaries, De La Torre, to the anti-corruption office. However, she cannot save herself because everything that De La Torre did was under HER signature, and what's worse it was recently discovered De La Torre had over 100 employees that were cashing millions of pesos without a single day of work, and THAT was also approved by Pettovello. This is probably just the tip of the iceberg of the corruption in Milei's government, which has been just a circus of personal friends and incompetents. What's funny is that people like Grabois were acussed to be corrupt wasters of state money, by De La Torre, and now HE'S likely going to prison for being a corrupt waster of state money.
Speaking of which, Pettovello, by all accounts, is not capable or ready to holding the ministry, she often breaks down crying (too bad, but people are dying because of her incompetence), and most of her subordinates are resigning in droves. Milei remains ironclad in his support for her, though. In fact, he might have REJECTED her resignation when she presented it. Why? Well, when you look at the register of visits to the presidential residence, Pettovello has spent several nights there. It might be that she's really Milei's 'therapeutical companion' with her 'reiki sessions'. At least it's not his sister Karina? Well, while his government and the country is in flames, Milei was taking selfies with Mark Zuckerberg and now is visiting Bukele while Karina (again, his sister) acts like the first lady, and is basically treated as such by libertarians.
It would be all so chaotic and funny if people weren't deprived of education, health and food because of this.
Milei has been president for 6 months, by the way.
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