#and this is also just not me mostly subtly commenting on how I think the city needed more companion interactions

[rememberrymainblog]

Hot Take (or not) but we should have had an Astarion date scene

Let me prefix this small rant with the fact that I know why they have chosen not to give him an actual "date" romance scene. He never had or even entertained the idea of an actual lover, so he only reverted back to old tactics (seduction), and then later after he confessed he needed a deep introspection of what he really wants. It's perfectly understandable why his romance was built this way.

And yet...

I feel like he deserves to be treated to some mundane dating stuff. Especially since if you go with the non-ascended Astarion ending, he will probably not have this chance again to enjoy your company in the sun for a long while. Let me take my dear vampire on a nice stroll around the city, let him show me all the parts of Baldur's Gate that he always wanted to see in daylight, maybe we could even stop and do a little shopping, or sit somewhere and just hold each other's hands while staring at the bustling city. It would only reinforce the idea in him that we truly love him and not just his looks and sexual prowess.

Let him feel alive with us even just for a bit, the Elder Brain can wait.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hi thank u for opening asks! Can I request headcanons for the male companions (and or gortash Raphael and the emperor) having a mute s/o either because they can’t talk or they’re very shy

A/N: Here ya go! Managed to get everyone to stay mostly in character. Please be warned there are hints of nsfw for each character, although nothing graphic in nature. And that the entries for Gortash and Raphael describe abusive relationships, so heed the trigger warnings below. 

🔇 Mute!Reader HC x BG3 Males: 🔇

TW: Domestic Abuse & Vaguely NSFW Content

(Abuse and Manipulation for the Gortash & Raphael ones. Also allusions to sex throughout each entry.)

Astarion: 

He’s suspicious of you at first. Even more so that you don’t talk. But if you prove you’re  not a threat in other ways, he doesn’t actually mind it all that much. He talks to you about the same. A good amount of what he says is either posturing or complaining- and that doesn't change just because you can’t talk back. If anything, he complains even more, knowing you wont tell him to shove off like the others. He greatly enjoys how dramatic he gets to be around you. He’ll lean against a city wall and dramatically lay the back of his hand over his face: ‘I tell you Darling, it’s like these people don’t notice me at all!’ You blink at his outburst, your expression unchanged, clearly unamused. 

Still says lots of witty comments under his breath, and subtly looks over at you to see if you’ve smirked or blushed in response. Gets really good at reading all the little reactions you make. He makes a mental catalog of every half smirk, every eye twitch, every shoulder shrug, so that he knows how you feel about something he or another has said.

Appreciates the fact that you’re unlikely to repeat anything he says to you, which makes him feel all the safer confiding in you about his condition and his past, knowing you can’t go sounding the alarm. 

Ends up going on tangents or rants about the others while you just sit there and kind of grimace, empathetically. He knows it can get annoying to just have to listen, but he’s extremely grateful for the outlet. Cazador certainly never cared what he was feeling. Nor did any of his ‘siblings’. But with you, he can bitch about his day only to turn around and find you still there, listening intently. 

Becomes a lot touchier. Like a lot. He switches from checking to verbal confirmation to physical confirmation. Takes your hand, or pulls you close, squeezes your shoulder- those sorts of things. 

Personally takes it as a challenge to see how loud he can get you to be when you’re intimate together ;) 

Gale: 

Doesn’t notice immediately lol. He’s too busy being overjoyed at the fact you don’t interrupt his long winded, pun-filled speeches to even consider it’s due to a disability or something similar on your part. He just thinks you’re the most wonderful listener. And of course, this makes him fall head over heels for you lol.

Once he does get it, he just sort of goes, ‘Oh.’ And lets that sit in the air. (He’s a bit awkward around you for a while, unsure of how to apologize, so you’d probably need to approach him and make your forgiveness known.) 

Once that misunderstanding is over, he immediately becomes occupied with finding spells to help you talk. If that’s something you want, you appreciate the effort, and let him know you’re in no rush. If that’s something you’re not interested in, you tell him as much. He’s a little disappointed and taken off guard. He explains he’s always used magic to solve his problems. You raise your brow and give him a look that says ‘And that’s been working well for you, has it?’ He relents after that. 

The two of you get really good at reading each other’s faces. And Gale takes it upon himself to talk less as well, even though you explain he doesn’t have to. He insists, saying he wants to understand what your life is like. He lasts like two days lol. 

Becomes mostly competent at understanding what you’re saying either via sign or body language, but occasionally Tera has to translate for you. Thank the gods for tressyms.

Wyll: 

Is momentarily taken aback, embarrassed by his concern he was being rude to you before, assuming you could talk to him but were choosing not to. Apologizes, profusely, for the misunderstanding on his part. 

Learns to communicate with you through other means, be it writing, or by whatever the Faerun equivalent of sign language is. He’s not the best at it, but he tries really hard to learn. Picks up basic phrases like greetings, and moods. Does request that you slow down if you’re fluent, to give his brain time to catch up. 

Doesn’t let anyone in the group make petty or passive aggressive comments while giving them a look or chewing them out. He’s very serious about it. The next time Astarion says something off the cuff, Wyll responds with, ‘Well, Astarion, I’d assume you of all people would be used to it being quiet. Having only the other rats of Baldurs Gate as friends for years.’ He’ll go for the jugular- he doesn't give af! No one gets to make you feel bad about it.

Considers going to Shadowheart or Halsin, or even Gale and asking them if there’s something they can do to help you/your condition, but that’s only with your blessing of course. He wants to help you, but doesn’t want to overstep. 

Comes to appreciate how honest you are in your other reactions- your eyes and your body language. Wyll is used to being deceived- by demons, humans, and the like- so he thinks it’s so special he can read you like a book. Whether you’re strolling through Baldur’s Gate, or enjoying your marital bed, it matters greatly to him how you truly feel and think. He’s glad he’s able to share your truth with him. 

Halsin: 

Catches on fairly quickly, although he doesn’t bring it up to you directly. He figures you will bring it up when you are ready to discuss it, and in the meantime, he would not want to pry. Listens intently when you tell him by checking in with your facial expression as he reads your writing. 

Tries to find ways to help you with what you can do. Suggests maybe enchanting a feather pen and scroll or some chalk and a small board to write out what you’re thinking so others can understand how it is you feel in real time. He offers his druid magic to do whatever you need. Hell, he even considers mentoring you to see if you feel nature’s calling. If you were a druid, perhaps you could develop a relationship with an animal companion, say a bird, or an awakened rat, or a giant eagle and get them to speak for you. 

Similar to Wyll, Halsin will try to learn sign language if that’s something you speak. However he isn’t the most adept at it. He’s very used to spellcasting, which requires at least one free hand, often his dominant hand. So he tries learning sign with his nondominant hand, but that makes it all the more difficult. He knows the alphabet, but that’s about it. You will have to slowly spell out your sentences word by word in order for him to get the gist. 

Makes sure you’re either safely hidden away at camp, or stay within his sight during a battle. He knows you cannot cry out for help, so he wants to make sure he can keep an eye on you throughout any conflict. 

Loves just being close to you. Swears he can hear the intention of your heart when the two of you are so close. He wants to assure you, your difference doesn’t make him love you any less. If anything, he is impressed with how much you continue to adapt to and overcome. He’ll say, ‘You need not speak for me to know your voice, my heart. One look in your eyes, and I know, it is an internal melody so beautiful, all of nature could not compare.’ He’ll place soft touches to your skin and face, and check your reaction before progressing any further. He thinks being intimate with you is the best way to express your emotions as a couple. After all, sex is the most ancient language of all.

Minsc: 

He doesn’t get it until Boo points it out to him lol. And even after being told, he still forgets from time to time. 

Minsc loves to talk. Well brag. And boast. And speak in the third-person. So he’s not thrown off by you having to refer to yourself with body language or with possessive pronouns in Common writings. 

He will ask you lots of questions, all throughout the day. Some are obvious and others are seemingly random, and difficult to explain with your words limited to being written down as fast as you can before Minsc’s mind wanders and changes the subject. It’s a workout for your wrists honestly. 

He will loudly announce that you’re mute every time you meet new people. ‘This is (Y/N), my dear love, she cannot speak. So (Y/N) will write her answers for Boo. And Boo will tell me. Then Minsc may tell you.’ You keep trying to tell him, the system doesn’t need Boo and him to interpret for you, especially if you’re already recording your answers in Common for others to read. 

He will never let you apologize for not being able to speak. He refuses to see it as a problem. ‘Minsc speaks loud enough for both of us, no?’ He thinks you’re the most wonderful person around. He could have his pick of the crop, and yet he chose you. Trust him, you’re the person he wants to be with more than anything. 

Gortash:

Actually kind of prefers lovers who don’t talk back, lol. He’s a very insecure man when it comes to his character. He’s cunning and wise, but clawed his way out of hell (quite literally) and the self-critical voice in his head never silences. So he’s oddly comforted that you can’t demean his temperament. 

He won’t try to fix it, nor will he allow you to try and change it in any sort of way. He doesn’t want you to go babbling on about his plans or how he is behind closed doors. That information cannot be getting out. So no, you will not be allowed any magic or spells to help you communicate. 

He will open up to you on occasion in private. The longer you’re together, the more safe he feels like confiding in you. If you feign sympathy, or if you are in fact sympathetic to his backstory, he’ll feel something akin to love for you. It’s not quite love. It’s much more logical, more calculating and pragmatic than that. But it’s about as close as you’d get with him. 

Likes how you have little to no choice other than to stay at his side and listen to him intently. He loves watching all your little apprehensive reactions when beckons you closer and pulls you into his lap. How your pulse races, how your breath quickens, he knows how his proximity makes you feel, even if you can’t open your mouth to speak the words. Besides, he’s very sure your mouth will be good for, let’s just say, other things. 

He will allow you to write him little notes here and there, but only in his office, and only when no one else is around. He’s rather paranoid that way. But he’s also rather pleased how it means you must keep seeking him out during his working hours. He’s under no false impression that he's the kindest lover. But you can’t leave him. You need him. He’s the only one who’s allowed to understand you. And he intends to keep it that way. 

Raphael: 

Like Gortash, Raphael feels a sort of sick satisfaction over the fact you can’t talk back to him. But then on the other hand, he feels a sort of sick disappointment that he can’t torture you into making all those sweet pathetic noises for him. So it’s 50/50 with him. 

He will consider giving you a voice via deviant magic if it means he can hear you beg. It drives him absolutely wild, and he refuses to go completely without it. Takes said voice away if you venture too far into brat territory, or you directly insult him. It’s a privilege for you to even look upon him, how dare you use the gift he gave you against him?

Has Harleep babysit you when he isn’t there. You can’t exactly call for help, and Raphael’s house isn’t safe for you to be wandering about unsupervised. 

Enjoys the look of pure frustration on your face when you try learning to write in Infernal, only to fail miserably. He thinks you’re adorable all revved up. He will read the notes you write in Common, he just doesn’t always respond to them. Despite his refusal to acknowledge most of them, you can tell he understands them, based on how large that vein on his forehead gets lol.

He will let you choose whether or not to have a voice during certain moments of pleasure; well, mostly pleasure. He loves the little gasps and moans you make, it fuels his lust for you even more. Then again, he doesn’t need to hear the sweet cries of your pretty voice to know whether he’s on the right track. ‘I can sense your heartbeat, little mouse,’ he'll whisper to you. Your body reveals to Raphael all there is to know, whether you want it to or not. 

The Emperor: 

It literally doesn’t matter. Dude’s telepathic lol. 

Wishes you’d become an illithid so you’d be telepathic too. Almost doesn’t take no for an answer on that one. 

Ultimately ends up relishing in the fact he alone can understand you- your wants, your needs, your dreams, and hopes. It makes him feel all the more powerful. 

Will give you the play-by-play about the Nether Brain and the Chosen Three because he’s been dying to tell someone, and he knows you can’t go running in the streets telling everyone and ruining his hopes of manipulation. Mainly because you don’t talk but also because he’s not letting you leave his realm lol, no way in hell. 

If you really don’t feel at home here, ‘You could always,’ he’ll suggest coyly, ‘Become one of us.’ You don’t even have to shake your head to tell him ‘no’. Your facial expression does all the talking for that one. 

[madaqueue]

manicured

synopsis: painting their nails

featuring: choso kamo, satoru gojo, suguru geto

a/n: see i can write fluff guys i promise (just don't look too hard at geto's lmao)

༝ ˚ ｡⋆ choso kamo ༝ ˚ ｡⋆

choso absolutely loves your nails, he’s honestly fascinated by them. he’s never really understood the purpose of something like this, as it doesn’t serve any functional use and is only temporary, but that only intrigues him further. whenever he sees you posted up on the couch he sits next to you and just watches intently, observing the way you gracefully and precisely glide the polish across your fingers.

“could you…do mine?” he asks hesitantly.

a grin forms on your face at his request. “of course, cho,” you smile.

you paint both of his pinkies a dark, rich black. he loves the way it looks with his rings, and he can’t help himself from staring fondly at his hands and blushing when he catches a glimpse of your work.

༝ ˚ ｡⋆ satoru gojo ༝ ˚ ｡⋆

satoru enjoys being pampered, often making comments about how lucky you are to get to spend time getting your hair done or eyebrows touched up. he sees it as self care, a way to make yourself look as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. when he finds you getting ready in the bathroom before one of your dates, seated on the floor with a bottle of nail polish next to you, he immediately wants to be a part of your little routine.

“ooooh me next!” he chirps, plopping down next to you on the cool tile and holding his hands out.

he initially picks out a bright blue to match his eyes, but after you tease him - “isn’t that a bit self-centered, toru?” - he instead opts for one that matches your irises, a way to remind him of you whenever you’re apart.

at dinner, he forces everyone to look at his nails, holding them out with a toothy grin. “aren’t they pretty? my amazing perfect girlfriend did them for me,” he boasts through a smile to anyone who will listen.

༝ ˚ ｡⋆ suguru geto ༝ ˚ ｡⋆

suguru thinks your nails are cute, that it’s sweet how delicate and dainty they always make you look. whenever you come home from an appointment he inspects them closely, complimenting the design or color you picked out. his favorites are french tips, mostly because they look so classically feminine when they’re wrapped around his cock, but he also loves the surprise of seeing what you choose each time.

as he’s admiring your fresh set, he jokes, “how come you never do mine?”

“i didn’t know you wanted me to,” you can’t help but giggle.

“you never asked,” he teases back.

he lets you choose a color for him, landing on a light pink that nearly blends into his skin but is just noticeable enough. he only does his pointer and middle fingers, sneaking in a joke about how those are your favorites, too, when he’s knuckle deep in your pussy, displaying them subtly, knowing it’s just for him.

[voxswifihotspot]

SELF INDULGENT HEADCANONS (mostly qpr radiostatic)

Vox imagines Al comforting him when he's upset (would never tell ANYONE)

Vox probably wishes he was a girl so Alastor wouldn't hate him as much

He definitely has internalized homophobia and assumes Alastor doesn't like him because Al’s straight and that's why he acts so much nicer with girls, because he likes them.

He overcompensates by acting like he wants Al to fuck him because that would be better than admitting weakness (he just wants a really good hug from him) (and yes he also wants to fuck him for sure but let me have this)

Alastor got scared off by Valentino, especially when Vox started picking up Val’s sex joke traits (Al would probably say some shit like ' i miss the old times we had…before Valentino…” when Vox made the third ‘that's what she said’ joke of the day)

Alastor enjoys Vox’s company but they're both so prideful they'd never admit it unless it still felt like they were winning in something

Alastor gets invited to girl sleepovers, Vox has a restraining order from them

Vox is so afraid of thunderstorms he's like a cat when a vacuum rolls by (electricity=hes at risk of getting shocked because he’s hes a tv head and he didn't used to be waterproof either so it's just kind of stuck with him)

Alastor is a mama’s boy, Vox has mommy issues. Full stop.

Vox changes the wifi password CONSTANTLY whenever he gets mad at any one of the vees and it pisses everyone off so much

Alastor is absolutely sex repulsed and it disturbs him whenever Vox makes sexual comments about him (Vox has no idea how to express actual affection and he’s gotten used to Valentino’s situationship, which enables him to not have to say anything)

Vox secretly is a sucker for Alastor’s old-fashioned gentleman shit

Vox and Alastor are kind of good cop bad cop but you literally can’t tell which is which because they switch off every time you talk to them

Vox has a caffeine addiction and Alastor literally never has caffeine (claims it makes it hard to sleep despite the fact that nobody has seen him sleep anyway)

Back before the picture Vox has of Alastor was taken, Vox would constantly complain about how Alastor never was on camera and Alastor thought it was just a really stupid bit until Vox started drunk crying about it (Alastor grudgingly allowed the picture to be taken after that)

If Vox ignored Alastor at any point, Alastor would immediately start trying to subtly get his attention, but if Vox ever pointed it out he would get annoyed and say he wasn’t

Vox talks shit about someone once and Alastor immediately starts insulting everything about that person with a sort of pent up rage as Vox stares in horror

Alastor talks shit about someone and it’s really passive aggressive and then Vox just chimes in with “they should kill themselves” (Alastor tries extremely hard not to laugh but it always catches him off guard)

Vox never initiates physical touch but he loves it so whenever Alastor touches him it’s like a treat

Alastor knows like everything about Vox but he hates when he’s called out for it and pretends that he knows nothing

Vox owns a smart fridge just to piss Alastor off and it made him upset when Alastor left because it's useless and he wasted money on it

Alastor loves spicy food, Vox cannot handle it

Vox actually enjoys podcasts but will never say he enjoys radio even though it’s essentially the exact same

Vox is probably a misogynist and Alastor a misandrist (they balance each other out)

Alastor cares for Vox but thinks Vox is too immature and sexual and everything Vox pretends to be around Alastor. They’re constantly caught in a loop of Alastor being too prideful to admit any affection and Vox being too guarded.

Alastor found himself using Vox’s slang when they were closest, he completely picked up his dialect and vice versa.

Alastor compared Vox off his meds to Niffty one time, genuinely didn’t mean it as an insult but Vox didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day

Vox forgets to do anything for himself, Alastor remembers only because of his mother reminding him when he was younger

Vox tells Alastor everything that goes on on the VoxTech cameras, Alastor pretends he doesn’t care then immediately tells Rosie, it's a full gossip chain.

Alastor thought Vox was trying to buy his affection with lavish gifts etc, it was really just his love language

Vox has a spare profile for Alastor on Netflix in case he ever comes back and nobody talks about it

(Flipside, Alastor doodles sharks on everything because he used to draw them for Vox and he misses it)

Alastor and Vox only kiss in the ‘married couple kiss on the cheek’ way, same with Alastor and Rosie

Vox confided in Angel Dust about like…everything by accident one time

Alastor is very practical, Vox thinks he's very practical

Alastor only agrees to things if he thinks it was his idea first. Vox picks up on this and gaslights the hell out of him

Rosie and Vox run their mouths so hard when they’re with each other, if anyone walked in on them, they’d get top quality gossip that would probably get numerous sinners incriminated

Alastor is an asshole and realizing that he cared about Vox genuinely was a pill he never really swallowed

(Vox is also an asshole but he did realize he cares about Alastor and he hates himself for it, so it’s easier to pretend it’s some weird kink of his)

Alastor loves cooking, Vox loves standing around and narrating the cooking in an annoying announcer voice while pretending he's doing something helpful

Alastor feels comfortable around Vox because anything Alastor’s embarrassed about, Vox has already done tenfold

Whenever Vox does something corny, Alastor makes sure everyone else knows that he would never do that

this took way too long

[funeral-pyree]

lover girl! ellie and her partner with long nails

mostly sfw but includes suggestive content - MDNI 18+

♱ she would absolutely ask you to wash her hair because she likes the way your nails scratch her scalp, and would hum contentedly while you shampoo her short auburn locs

♱ on days when you’re at work and she’s at home, she would attempt to replicate the feeling of you playing with her hair and scratching her head, eventually huffing and giving up because it doesn’t feel as good as when you do it

when you get home, she would do what i did when i was a kid and subtly (or at least she thinks so) ask you to get knots out of her hair because she “couldn’t reach properly”. you’d oblige, knowing full well she just wants you to run your nails through her hair but is too afraid to admit that’s what she wants

♱ would one day ask to come with you to get your nails done while out running errands together

definitely would ask what it feels like having fake nails on top of your real ones, so you’d suggest she should get hers done too

she’d panic thinking she had to get long nails like you and despises the idea of them, making comments about how she needed to keep them short for guitar and “other stuff” wink wonk. you’d lightly kick her in the legs for insinuating what she was in front of the nail tech, quickly muttering an apology, but still adorning a small smirk

eventually, she would opt for getting the shortest nails they’d offer her, ones that were barely longer than her natural nails, and would get black polish with little bits of glitter that sparkle in the right light. most definitely would show them off to her friends later, excitedly pointing out the little specks of glitter and saying you helped her pick it out.

she would, however, quickly get sick of the feeling of the acrylic on top of her nails, trying to pick them off after a few days, to which you’d scold her and tell her she was going to ruin her natural nails. she would whine at that saying “but babe!!” dragging out the ‘a’ sound, “they feel fuckin’ weird and i can’t pick shit up as easily.” pouting slightly before continuing with pleas of “just let me take them off.” you’d go back to the nail salon the next day and get the set removed. she would get them to repaint her nails with the same black polish again though because she liked how it looked, even on her natural nails

♱ would one day ask how people with nails could still fuck with “long ass talons” and you’d have to explain that some people get a couple nails cut shorter so they don’t hurt their partners. she would definitely think it looked goofy until you showed up at home one day with a new set, quickly noting how your middle and ring finger nails were cut considerable shorter. let’s just say she begged you to get them done like that from then on

♱ i could also see her scrolling through tiktok one morning and coming across a video of a guy learning how to do his girlfriend’s nails and thinking she should try it out. excitedly brings up the idea over breakfast, and once you agree, drags you out of the apartment to go get the necessary supplies. would actually love the process and think it was a fun bonding experience for you two.

she would get quite good at it over time and definitely put her steady hands and artistic abilities to use to create the cute sets you show her on your pinterest board. once she sees how much you like her work, she would get a tad cocky, stating that you didn’t need to go back to your usual tech anymore now that she’s “become a pro”. you’re more than happy to let her do them from now on though, enjoying how tender and careful she is when dealing with your nails.

i can see her drawing up her own designs that she wants to try out for your next set one night, giddily showing you her creations the next morning and begging you to let her do some of them, to which you obviously agree because who could say no to those puppy eyes she gives you when she’s excited

♱ she would LOVE moments when you’re snuggled up together in bed, all cozy and watching a movie (or barely in her case). she would be positioned between your legs, using your belly as a pillow and fighting sleep as you slowly drag your fingers through her hair. most definitely would end up snoring quietly on your stomach as you too, lose your battle to sleep as the credits roll and the last of the candle on your bedside table burns down to the wick

♱ in conclusion, she’s a big fan of your nails

AN: special thanks to @sapphic-gardn for reading over this for me!! this is my first time writing since i was like 14 so please be nice

[trigunwritings]

Bad Habits (and Dutiful Husbands)

Rating: General

Relationships: Fem!Reader/Wolfwood/Vash

Summary: Vash and Wolfwood have to take care of a job, but their thoughts are still with their wife.

Written by @blood--hunter

Note: Reader is referred to as wife and uses she/her. Various pet names are also used through the writing.

The lighter sparked to life with only one flick. Wolfwood sighs in relief, lifting the small dancing flame to his cigarette as if it were as delicate as a butterfly. Just as he’s about to cup his hand—mostly out of habit— around the end, there is the sound of a gunshot.

In the same breath that the bullet meets his cigarette, Nicholas lets out a sigh. He had known it was going to happen, but it was still an annoyance that made his teeth grind.

“Seriously?” He asks, flickering dark eyes to the man walking towards him. Vash was dressed in his usual red coat as always, blond hair waving gently in the desert wind. “You couldn’t even let me have one drag?”

Though his gun was nowhere to be seen, Vash was the only one stupid enough to literally shoot something out of Nicholas D. Wolfwood’s mouth and not expect any consequences or accidental injuries.

“You heard the little lady.” Vash said, taking the final few steps to stand before his husband. “No more smoking. It’s bad for your lungs!”

Nick gnashed his teeth again, leaning against the large, cross-shaped gun that was behind him. Vash was, unfortunately, right. Their wife had strict orders for him not to smoke anymore largely out of concern for his health. He hadn’t the heart to tell her that his newfound powers would keep anything like cancer at bay, instead acquiescing to her and Vash’s whims than try to make the argument.

“Whatever,” He spits, turning his eyes to the ruined, ramshackle house before him. Within was hidden the Glass Gang, known for burning down any town they went through and turning the sand itself to glass in their wake. They preferred fire as their weapon of choice, and there was a bounty on them that could cover the bills for months. “At least I didn’t show up late.”

“Aw, c’mon, I just got a little held up.”

Wolfwood didn’t comment—with Vash, the excuse was probably literal.

He hoists his gun onto his shoulder, letting it sit there as he sauntered to the front door.

“Hey,” the man said, banging loudly at the door that held on by barely one hinge, “Come on out!”

“Could be a little more polite.” Vash sighs, but he stands there regardless, hovering over Nick’s shoulder like a worried hen.

Ever since they’d gotten married he had started doing that. He did it to their wife too, hovering, fidgetting, worrying about their health and how they felt. It was Vash’s way of showing how he cared, so Nick allowed it, and sometimes—only sometimes—he even found it cute. Their wife had told him that he needed to accept some things, like people caring about him, when they got married. Her words rang in his ears in moments like these.

It’s because he loves you, Wolfwood. Let him.

“Ain’t commin’ out!” A voice finally rings from inside.

He sighs. Sometimes he wished he’d just picked a different profession. Maybe being the town preacher would have been better, but it never really stuck and—if he were an honest man—he preferred sticking to Vash’s side. Otherwise, their wife would have done it and he didn’t think he could bare being the one at home taking care of things while she and their husband was out earning money.

Vash pipes up before Wolfwood can think of anything to say. “We have donuts!”

“Really?”

Nick raises a brow, looking to his husband. Vash is subtly shaking his head no.

So, it was a lie, then.

The voice inside responds all the same, “Then I guess I will!”

Nick has enough forethought to leap away from he door, grabbing Vash by the edge of his sleeve and hauling ass. Just as they get clear the slab of wood is kicked open— a burst of flames taking up the space where they had just stood.

Vash whines from beside them as they hit the sand. He looks over his shoulder to see a tall man—taller than even Vash— standing in the doorway. The gang-member held a huge flame thrower in his hands, complete with a large tank attached to the back of it, probably filled with some sort of fuel.

“What? No donuts for me!” The man says, a wide, hungry grin on his face, “Or are they all burnt?” Nick rolls his eyes but Vash chuckles, even if it is a little awkward.

“So,” His husband speaks from beside him as they both stand, dusting themselves off. “No way we can convince you to just turn yourselves in?”

“‘Fraid not.”

“Well, that stinks.” Vash sighs, “And here I told my wife that I wouldn’t get into any trouble today.”

“Our wife,” Wolfwood corrects, expression straight and unwavering.

The gang-member’s face crumples in confusion and discuss. “Your wife? What kind of woman would marry you two assholes?”

Nicholas lifts the punisher, taking aim for the tank of fuel, but Vash stops him with a firm hand on the end of his gun.

“Now, now, no need to go insulting us.”

The man chuckles. Nicholas’ frown deepens. One more stupid word and he was going to be eating lead.

“Nah, I won’t insult you anymore. But I am gonna make your little lady at home eat your ashes!”

He lifts his flame thrower. Vash dodges out of the way, rolling to the man’s side while Wolfwood goes the other way both of them are flanking him but as they get into position gun fire erupts from the house. The rest of the gang was joining the party.

Fine by him.

Wolfwood strafes with the weight of his weapon on his shoulder, letting bullets strip through the house’s walls. He knew Vash didn’t want anyone killed, and he didn’t want to disappoint his husband, but it was better to lay down covering fire and risk maiming someone than get killed themselves. Their wife would never forgive them if the both of them didn’t come back in one piece.

Vash, for his part, acclimates quickly to the new scenario and moves to be behind the large man. Unwilling to fire at—what seems to be—their boss, or to get hit themselves, the gang-members stop firing, probably to attempt to repossession themselves.

Their leader growls deep in the back of his throat, trying to swing around to set Vash ablaze but Wolfwood’s husband is too fast, and manages to stay behind him as he swings from side to side.

“Get back here you little freak!”

“No thanks! I don’t wanna end up roasted!”

“Fight fair damnit!”

“Nope!”

As the two of them continue to bicker, Wolfwood makes his way into the house. There are five other gang members and all of them are scrawny, hungry men who aren’t very hard to take down now that their cover is gone and their boss is preoccupied. After tying them up with rope as one big group he emerges from the house again.

Vash has his hands raised, a simpering smile on his face as the boss points the nozzle of his flame-thrower at the other man.

“Got you now!”

Wolfwood sighs, rolling his eyes. “When are you going to stop playing with him?”

The boss smiles wide, eyeing him. “What? So you want me to roast your husband right in front of your eyes!”

“Wasn’t talking to you.”

The man’s face crumples in confusion, but it’s Vash who speaks next. “Oh, I was just gonna let him get this out of his system first.”

With a click the gang-member attempts to light his weapon. Then another click. And another.

Click. Click. Click.

It’s only now that he realizes the tank of fuel is long gone, Vash having gotten rid of it long before Wolfwood even went into the house.

“W-What?!”

“Sorry buddy, couldn’t let you go around setting people on fire!”

Before the man can say anything more, he’s on the ground and his hands are tied behind his back.

Another long breath leaves Nicholas and he grabs for his cigarettes without thinking. He barely has time to put it in his mouth before a gunshot rings out, knocking it away once again.

“God damnit blondie!”

“Hey! Wifey’s orders!”

[slayfics]

A Ride Home

You go to a party with Denki.

Warnings: Angst | Denki aged up | NSFW themes | Denki is kind of a scumbag in this sorry ;-;

2,200 words~

Chapter links

Part One

You shifted in the passenger seat feeling nervous but trying to look confident. All your nervousness faded as Denki made his way into the driver's seat and turned to you.

"You look really amazing today by the way, like wow~" He said, eyes sparkling and smiling at you in his passenger seat.

"Thank you Kaminari," You replied and couldn't help the blush growing on your cheeks. "You look good too," you said shyly. And he did look good. His Pikachu hoodie looked adorable on him.

"Awe, you're too kind," He laughed and unlocked his phone, putting the directions on to the party at Mina's place you were both headed to. "Sooo are you ready for this party?" He asked.

"Yeah! I'm excited to see everyone, and just relax for a bit, you know?" You replied.

"Oh yeah- I get ya. This week has been sooo hard. Can't wait to drink and just not think about anything having to do with hero stuff." Denki paused for a bit as he listened to the directions coming from his phone. "I guess I'm excited to see everyone too, but being honest- I'm mostly just excited to spend some time with you," Denki said, giving you a small wink.

Your face flushed once more and your heart fluttered at his playful comment. Denki had this way of making you feel like you were the only girl in the world. When you were with him it felt impossible to have any insecurities. He silenced them all with the way his eyes sparked when he saw you, and you were sure you could get lost in his gaze, it was addicting.

"I'm- excited to spend time with you too," You answered him nervously, playing with your fingers, as you took another glance at him. His hand drooped lazily over the steering wheel as he drove, and you noticed the black and yellow nail polish on his fingers that had started to chip. It must have been a week ago that he agreed to let you paint them. He had also recently showered for the party so his hair was especially fluffy, almost inviting you to play with it. And his cologne was subtly invading your nose luring you in.

"Well- if that's the case... we could...skip the party? Just go back to my place?" He asked, giving you a sly smile.

You felt your heart stop. Was he really insinuating what you think he was? You bit your lip while you contemplated his invitation. You've had a crush on Denki for a while now, and the thought of skipping the party to just be with him sounded exhilarating. You had promised Mina you would show up though, and you didn't want to break that promise.

"I promised Mina I would at least make an appearance at her party..." You said softly, disappointed in yourself for not giving in and saying yes to him.

Denki laughed, "No worries! We'll go to the party and see what it has to offer, kay? We are almost there too. GPS says two more minutes. Oh hey!" He said excitedly as he picked up his phone to change the song playing. "I have a song to show you," he said, turning the volume up. "This song totally reminds me of you," He said, smile shimmering.

There it was again- your heart dropped and you felt stupidly happy by all his attention, "That is- so cute Kaminari, this song really reminds you of me?" you asked.

"Mhm- sure does, I think about you every time it comes on. Looks like we're here though," he said, parking the car. "Stay here, kay? I'll grab your door," Denki turned the car off and made his way outside to the passenger side door.

Denki opened your door with his signature smile, "Ready?" he asked, holding his hand out for you to grab.

You grabbed his hand and he gently helped you out of the car. "Damn," He said, eyeing your outfit again. "Sorry- just can't get over how good you look today. I hope the rest of our friends are able to handle it~ Ok let's go," he said, guiding you to the front door.

You could hear the loud music from inside as you both approached the front door. You felt your heart rate begin to increase. Big social events already made you a bit anxious. Denki knocked and smiled at you, noticing your apprehensiveness, "Don't look so nervous cutie, it's just our friends. We'll have a good time, promise."

Mina opened the door, a smile erupting on her face when she saw you both, "You guys made it!" She said, wrapping her arms around you both. "Come in, come in!" She said and pulled you both in and shut the door.

"Everyone is pretty much here already, drinks are in the kitchen, and thanks for coming! I was in the middle of a conversation with Tsu so- I'll leave you both to it," She winked at you and left. Mina was the only one you had confessed your feelings about Denki to, and ever since then, she had tried to push you closer to him. Which while annoying, was actually helpful.

"Don't have to tell me twice, let's get some drinks cutie?" Denki asked, looking at you for approval.

You nodded and followed him into the kitchen.

"HEY MAN!" An excited Eijiro called out upon noticing Denki. "You finally got here! Feels like I've been waiting forever! Oh and hi to you too," Eijiro said, smiling sweetly at you.

"Sorry, the cutie over here needed some extra time to get into that super attractive outfit," Denki joked, flashing you a wink.

Eijiro laughed, "No worries man, hey I'm going to get Sero and Bakugo so we can all take a shot. Stay right here ok!" Eijiro said leaving the kitchen in a hurry.

"Oh wow a shot right away, hu?" You laughed trying to hide your nervousness.

"Kirishima gets too excited when we all get together. He's a good guy though. Oh, and don't worry here," Denki said, grabbing you an alcoholic seltzer. "Just use this as a chaser if you need it, kay? I'll be right here so it'll be fine, no need to worry~"

Kirishima returned to the kitchen followed by a smiling Hanta and a scowling Katsuki.

"Alright, let me just get five shot glasses," Eijiro said while puttering around the kitchen.

"Four! I'm not drinking that crap. I'm the one that has to look out for you idiots," Katsuki growled.

"Bakugoooo~! You haven't drunk all night, one shot with your bros isn't going to keep you from your DD duties," Eijiro complained.

"UGH! Fine, but I swear shitty hair just the one! Got it?" Katsuki snarled.

"Of course man, just the one," Eijiro said, as he poured out five shots, and began to pass them around.

"Alright, everyone ready?" Eijiro asked, looking around the group.

"Yup," Hanta nodded.

"What should we cheers to?" Denki asked.

"Hmmm, plus ultra?" Hanta said laughing.

"I'll fucking murder you," Katsuki said unamused by the joke.

"Let's just- cheers to a fun night. Yeah?" Eijiro suggested.

"Sounds good to me~" Denki agreed.

You followed the boy's lead and raised your shot glass, then reluctantly poured the shot into your mouth. The bitter taste was hard to ignore, causing you to wince.

"You got it cutie, just don't think about it and swallow it fast. You won't have to taste it that way," Denki said, encouraging you.

Hanta and Eijiro laughed at each other, seemingly about what Denki said.

"You fucking pervs," Katsuki grumbled and looked away from the group.

"Alright, there you go, I knew you could do it!" Denki smiled, as you finally managed to get the shot down.

"Ok should we get back to the party then?" Eijiro suggested.

"Yeah! Hey Kaminari, some of those girls from Class B are here," Hanta said, wrapping his arm around Denki.

"Oh really~" Denki said looking at his friend mischievously, as Hanta guided him out of the kitchen. Eijiro trailed right behind them.

For the first time of the night, your heart dropped in a very different way, as you stood in the kitchen dumbfounded.

What?

Hadn't Denki been flirting with you this whole night? In the car, in the kitchen saying your outfit was attractive. He had even called you cutie several times in the past hour. And- invited you to skip the party to go to his place, oh-

You felt your heart shattering into pieces as you came upon a thought that was too painful to accept: Denki's just trying to get laid.

"God damn that's a pathetic look on your face," Katsuki said, causing you to jump. You hadn't noticed he didn't follow the rest of the boys.

"Hu? Oh uh- just the shot still lingering in my mouth I guess," You said, trying to find any lie you could.

"Tch- You think I'm stupid or something? I've noticed the eyes you've been giving Dunce Face the past few weeks. You've got it bad for him." Katsuki said, freezing you in place.

"It... it's that obvious?" You asked pathetically and looked down at the floor. If it was that obvious, did Denki notice too, you wondered?

"Of course it is! Maybe it isn't to those other extras, but- it is to me. I'm not clueless like the rest of them," Katsuki replied. You fiddled with the drink in your hand and then thought maybe Katsuki could give you some advice.

"He's your friend right??" You asked.

"Barley," Katsuki exhaled amused.

"Well- what do you think I should do?" You asked looking up at Katsuki.

"Hm-" Katsuki looked at you with an intense stare as if thinking over his answer. "Forget him," He said sternly.

"Wh-what?!" You explained. That was not the answer you expected.

"You heard me. Forget the damn sparky idiot, save yourself some trouble." Katsuki said and exited the kitchen, leaving you alone to process what that could have meant.

Katsuki was one of Denki's friends whether he admitted it or not, and- he said to forget him... What does he know that you don't, you wondered. You felt tears sting your eyes as your mind wandered back to your previous thoughts. Denki is just trying to get laid, and Katsuki's words seem to back up that theory.

You ran over every interaction you ever had with Denki, he was always overly flirty but... he never did ask to date you. Never asked to take you out anywhere... It became painfully obvious what his intentions now were. How could you have been so blind before? A tear dropped down into your drink.

Fuck.

You didn't want to stand in the kitchen crying about it. You downed your drink instead, trying to numb out the painful thoughts. Crushing the can you tossed it and quickly grabbed another from the fridge.

Whatever.

It was a party, you could still have fun... even if your innocent daydreams of becoming Denki's girlfriend were now nothing but a cruel joke.

You walked out into the living room and imminently regretted it.

Denki was standing next to one of the girls that you recognized as being from class B. He was standing too close and was giving her those same sparkly eyes he had been flashing to you all night. The song just changed to a slower song allowing you to faintly hear their conversation.

"Oh wow, this song totally reminds me of you~," he said giving her a wink.

Your eyes stung and a lump gathered in your throat. Did he really just give her the same line he told you just moments ago? You ran quickly to the backyard hoping to outrun the pain. You collapsed onto the patio couch and hung your head in your hands. How did this night turn so quickly?

"Thought I told you to forget him," A stern voice said.

You looked up and through the blur of your tears could see unmistakable spiky blond hair.

"Fuck you're crying?" Katsuki sighed and sat next to you. "The hell made that idiot so appealing anyway?"

You took a deep breath trying to get yourself under control, "Made me feel special-," You said barely able to speak between your sobs.

"Just breathe, it'll be alright," Katsuki said. "Plenty of other extras better than that moron. You sure you still want to be here?" Katsuki asked.

You sniffed, "He drove me here," You explained. Fuck that's right, he took you here. The thought of facing him again after what you just saw made your stomach turn sour.

"Shit," Katsuki breathed out.

"Bakugo- can... can you take me home?" You asked, remembering he had said he was the DD for his friends tonight.

"Hu? Fuck-," He said contemplating for a second. "Yeah sure," He said standing up.

"What are you doing?" you asked confused.

"You want to go home right?" He asked.

"Oh I mean- when you are done, I don't want to make you miss the party," You said.

Katsuki let out a booming laugh, "I fucking hate these things. I'll take any excuse to leave. Besides- I'll make sure Dunce Face knows I took you home. That'll be sure to piss him off." Katsuki said, smirking at you.

You thought of how shocked Denki's face would look when Katsuki told him, and you couldn't help but smile. You knew wanting revenge was wrong but- it felt good.

"Come on cry baby, let's get the fuck out of here," Katsuki waved at you to follow him, and you did.

Tags: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries

[y-rhywbeth2]

Hi. Read you post about the dead three's chosen, and I was wondering about the "We got the threat of sexual exploitation (assuming it didn't happen), there's a subtle undercurrent of incest to some interactions" part. Is this something in the game that I missed? Is it a dnd lore thing?

I also looked through some older posts about Bhaal/Durge stuff, and... Jergal is ruthless and manipulative?! How bad is he? Like, what can a Durge who is free of Bhaal and may be protected by Jergal expect, both in life and afterlife? Are there no good options for Durge (except maybe becoming immortal)?

Also just wanna say thank you for all your dnd lore posts. I've mostly just played in homebrew games, so wotc dnd lore hasn't come up much, and I'm learning so much from your posts!

The good news about Jergal is that he has at least shifted from Lawful Evil to Lawful Neutral, so he's probably somewhat less of a jackass...? We hope. He also tends to prefer subtler manipulation, and seems to let people's own personalities steer them (because they'll take them where he wants them to go naturally); Bane in particular is his unwitting puppet, apparently, but Jergal hasn't directly pulled the strings at all yet, for whatever reason. Jergal's faithful usually 'live' in the City of Judgement on the fugue, or he has them as undead scribes working in his temples on Toril (I imagine it's the same paperwork whichever plane you're on). It's a quiet, but not terribly interesting existence. I doubt he's steal Durge from Bhaal to use as a scribe though. Usually if he needs a servant on the Prime Material plane for some task or other he sends them back as an undead of some kind if/when they die (he likes mummies, usually). He might also be manipulating them into becoming some kind of powerful outsider he can subtly puppet like the Dead Three, or Kelemvor, or Cyric... I really don't know.

(Also I think we're supposed to take Jergal being the 'good guy' at face value in-game.)

Durge could move planes to escape the divine shenanigans. The Dead Three in current times are bound to Toril, and Jergal cannot directly bother you in the city of Sigil at the centre of the universe (which all gods are forbidden to enter on pain of total annihilation courtesy of the Lady of Pain. He can send pawns to bother you, but can't go there or do anything himself.)

No problem. (Unsurprising; homebrew is much easier to manage. I can't imagine how people who are obsessed with the lore of multiple DnD settings cope.)

-

And Durge's other 'duty' as Bhaal's Chosen, and their extremely normal relationship with their father is going under a cut.

There's nothing in tabletop lore, past a disturbing Bhaalist spell ('attraction') that can cause love/lust in targets, which is built into Bhaal's avatars and manifestations; some gods having a tendency to sleep with their followers; and a comment from Ed Greenwood that many clergy encourage people to have kids (more people raised from birth within the church = more souls and power for the deity). Also apparently having a tattoo of a god's holy symbol is often a turn on for that god's priests... for some reason...

This stuff mostly comes from the BG3:

The exploitation:

Durge is expected to provide more Bhaalspawn for Bhaal's plans, and always has been. It's most obvious in the feral ending, where Bhaal destroys their mind and puppets them directly, but it's still on their to-do list if they keep his 'love' and become his Chosen:

Sarevok Anchev: 'You failed to bring forth issue while you helmed our cult. It is a mortal sin for a Chosen. I even hoped you and my daughter might one day create a new blood-lamb for us, but it is not to be...'

Durge: 'When I bring ruin to the world, will Bhaal allow me to spare my beloved?' Sceleritas: 'Of course Master! We will always need to sire more Bhaalspawn! Although if they are not up to the task we may need to find you a breeding-mate. Or ten.'

As with anything else in Durge's life, they have no say in Bhaal's intentions for them. They start that conversation off by asking permission to keep their lover and don't even get to respond to being told that they're expected to be breeding stock, probably with a wider range of 'partners'. Just silent acceptance.

The incest:

As ever I could be reading into this, but I'm not the only person who picked up on it so maybe not.

The most overt instances of this implication crops up in the original feral ending and the current, where Bhaal is subjecting Durge to constant rape by inflicting sexual hyperarousal on them and forcing them to have sex in order to breed an army of Bhaalspawn by cross-breeding them with various monsters... which they don't actually remember, because it's not the monsters they're thinking of during the act, where it's implied that Bhaal is forcing them to think of him:

*Your memory of last night's act is absent. In the moment of mounting, your mind emptied itself, and you could think only of Bhaal. The gnoll's rump seemed to become his Temple's graven altar where you once led worship.*

"Father, I love you. I'm a good spawn. A good little spawn."*

Alternatively: "a good boy/girl."

And in one of the Bhaalist religious texts you can find in game that describes how Bhaal basically gives his followers orgasms when they murder:

"Once Bhaal's favour has quickened within one oh his beloved murderers, the bliss of his love is nigh-indescribable. For he blesses his loyal with a new sensation: a mindless, instinctual, primal sensation that comes within the bowels, an erotic spasm that washes over the killer, in the moment of murder. It is said that in that instant, his Divine Essence can almost be tasted. Forsake all other hedonisms, acolytes, for nothing can compare. Until the true ecstasies of murder wash over you, initiates, this scroll contains a prayer, you may say after a kill, calling for the Lord's disgrace to find its course in your body."

The Urge - which is Bhaal as much as it's Durge- does/can cause sexual arousal, which indicates that Bhaal does do this to them or is at least inflicting his own 'pleasure' on them by experiencing the kills through them.

*Your body feels aroused imagining a broken twisted neck, and a thrill thinking of a trailing intestine.*

'I feel the most intense pleasure [when killing]. Arousal, even.'

*The masterful painting [Minthara] depicts of the massacre awakens you hungrily.* Durge: 'Stop! I'm growing aroused!' or Durge: 'How delightful, I'm very eager to begin.' Nightwarden Minthara: 'Control yourself - you are as uncouth as the goblins.'

Notably Minthara responds the same even if Durge doesn't flat out say it, so I'd assume they're having the same response to that 'hunger' regardless.

In the same area you find that text, if you become the 'Chosen' of the Redcap masquerading as Bhaal to the kuo-toa, you get this:

*Mad guilt swills in your swooning, sick body. Today you became the tart of a false God, and your evil pride revolts.*

'Tart' being the polite way of saying 'whore', which on its own might just be a poetic way of calling them unfaithful to their religion, but with the extra context is beginning to form a potential pattern. I don't know whether Durge is referring to themselves, or if it's Bhaal calling them that. Or which is worse.

Similarly, the dream where Bhaal summons you to the duel with Orin to become his Chosen is labelled 'BloodWedding'. Again, wedding has more than one meaning, but it's most common usage is of the marital kind, and *gestures at the context of the fuckery above helplessly*

And if you go through with the whole thing and accept Bhaal, Sceleritas will tell you this:

'You and the Urge are wedded, now. One body, one mind.'

Oh, and if you have a love interest they're your 'false bride.' Let's not ask who the real one is.

Also this is a possible dialogue option if you sleep with the drow guy at Sharess' Caress and is meant to be humorous, but apparently Durge does take their daddy issues into the bedroom:

Player: 'I'm a disappointment to my father. Maybe we can work with that.'

I feel like I've forgotten some parts, but that's the gist of it.

[shegxox]

the beauty of language: french lessons. | chamber

in which: you admire your colleagues' language and wanted to learn it.

c.w: not proofread, other than that it's a chill chapter wih a '👀' at the end.

w.c: 1,653

a.n: this will be a mini-series with a...plot?? i think.. idk I'm just planning everything otw 💀 also, reader will be based on my oc so that the reader will at least have a character built around them. enjoy! ++ oc visual here

next ♡

WHEN you first came into the valorant headquarters and met everyone, you were pleasantly surprised at how diverse its members were. You even thought that maybe Brim was going to pick one or two agents from every country that there was in the world. It pleased you that you didn't have to worry about whatever accent that comes with your English because almost everyone had their own, and that somehow made you have this appreciation and admiration for other foreign languages.

It started with Chamber, his accent is pretty evident, and still, he sounds so elegant and rich. It was probably the first thing that attracted you to him (in an admiring way, of course), and one afternoon on a day off you caught him in an almost rare sight of lounging around the common area for his afternoon coffee. The man's usually either in missions, cooped up in his workshop, or somewhere around the base where the two of you just couldn't cross paths.

"Ah, bonjour mademoiselle!" Chamber called out in delight as he saw you passing by, and you gasped in surprise.

"Chamber, hello!" You smiled, approaching the entrance to the balcony that was overseeing the sea. "I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"

The man's chest flutters at the sound of your voice. You were one of the people who he enjoys being with. Other than you being able to go along with his 'personality', You weren't as wary of him like the rest of the protocol, and you've expressed your genuine trust in him. It may have been a risky decision on your part– and he himself thought that you were too trusting, but he greatly appreciates it. Whenever you're around, he feels comfortable and warm inside.

He couldn't help but chuckle to himself when he noticed at least five rose buds subtly growing around your head the moment you saw him. He finds it fascinating how your feelings are somehow connected to your radiant abilities.

"I'm perfectly alright, ma chérie." He replied, "Still handsome and well dressed, no?"

You let out a short giggle to his reply. "Who else other than you?"

Chamber presented the empty chair next to him.

"Please, sit. Have a cup with me."

"Oooh, my pleasure." You took the offer and sat by his side. Chamber gracefully poured you a cup, and the scent of the coffee almost instantly hits your nose.

You took in a deep breath, "Mmm, that smells wonderful."

"Indeed it is." The man agreed. "Care for some treats?" Chamber motioned his hand to the tiered stand of mini cakes and tarts.

"Oui, oui." You answered playfully, making the man chuckle in amusement.

"Impeccable french you have there." He comments, handing you strawberry tart.

Perfect, you were eyeing that one.

"Well, I learned from the best." You winked.

"You're welcome." He replies smugly, and you smirked.

"Oh, I meant from Ratatouille."

Chamber huffed a laugh. "Ah, forgive me. Of course, who am I compared to a chef rat?"

You squinted your eyes at him playfully. "His name is Remy, you uncultured swine."

The two of you shared a hearty laugh before finally taking a sip of your coffee. Tasting the right amount of bitterness and a hint of sweetness in the drink.

"Ah, speaking of french." You set your cup down. "I was actually planning to learn it."

Chamber's left eyebrow quirked up in amusement, there was a glint of glee in his eyes.

"Oh, really now?"

"Yeah," you nod with a smile. "I'm intrigued by it. But mostly because whenever you talk in french, you sound so rich and lovely."

Chamber was slightly taken aback; that definitely fed his ego yet, at the same time, felt genuinely flattered. Don't get him wrong; this was not the first time someone complimented him (obviously), but he doesn't exactly know why he felt his heart skip a beat at your words. Maybe because you were so blunt about it most of the time that it catches him off guard.

"I wanna sound rich and lovely, too." You joked before taking a bite from your tart. "But seriously, your language is beautiful, and I would love to learn it."

Chamber gave you a charming smile. "Ma chèrie, you came to the right person!"

Your eyebrows shot upwards, giving him a look.

"Huh?"

". . .What do you mean, huh?"

Were you not practically asking him to teach you? Chamber thought, confused as well.

Your eyes widened, and a growing smile started to stretch the corners of your mouth.

"Wait... You can teach me??"

"Of course, I can." Chamber waved his hand mindlessly, furrowing his eyebrows. "Who else but me, no?"

"Oh," You laughed sheepishly. "I was thinking duolingo, but you'd be better!"

"Please," He scoffed a laugh. "The real deal is right here in front of you, give the owl a rest, yes?"

You gave him a chuckle, "I suppose you're right. But are you sure? I mean, I know you're a busy man and all, I don't want to take up your time and stuff."

Chamber shook his head

"Nonsense, ma chérie." He assured before saying in a flirty tone. "It would be nice to see your beauty more often, no?"

Your left eyebrow raised and you smirked. "Oh really now?"

"Do you not feel the same?" Chamber challenged, mirroring your expression, leaning over just a tad bit closer to you.

You hummed, looking straight into his eyes through his glasses before ever so bluntly saying,

"Well, I do miss seeing your face every now and then."

Chamber's jaw clenched, and his hand that was under the table gripped his knee hard, almost faltering. He pushed a smug smile on his face and forced out a laugh that almost seemed nervous.

"Well, there you have it then!" He could feel his cheeks getting hot. "When would you like to start?"

You smiled. "If you're not doing much today, would it be alright to start now?"

His gloved hand trailed over to yours, lifting it and gazing straight into your eyes.

"It'd be an honor to teach you, ma chérie."

Without breaking his gaze, he placed a kiss at the back of your hand.

You simply smiled in his direction, not at all fazed by his actions since you knew that's just how he is. Retracting your hand from his hold, you clapped once, feeling excited about your future lessons with the man.

"Wonderful! So how should we start?"

Chamber hummed thoughtfully, taking hold of a croissant on his plate.

"What are some words or phrases that you know so far?" He lifted his hand and pointed it in your direction, levelling the bread to your mouth. Subtly telling you to take a bite.

"Well, other than oui and bonjour I know. . ." You took a bite of the croissant, looking directly at the man.

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?"

Chamber felt something crack within him as soon as he heard those words, the croissant in his hand fell on the table.

The poor man froze again for the second time.

Well, you definitely had the pronunciations right. . .but. . .

The man swallowed thickly.

". . . You do not know what that means do you?"

You let out a carefree laugh, completetlyignorant of its meaning.

"No idea. Just heard it from a song somewhere ."

Chamber mentally sighed in relief.

"Alright, well take that off your list for now." He cleared his throat, trying to regain his cool composure.

"What, why? What does it mean?"

"You will know soon."

"Just tell meee."

Chamber looked away, pushing his glasses up in position. "Learn it yourself on the way, ma chérie."

You gave him a confused look, taking note of his ears suddenly turning a shade of red. 'Is he okay?'

He suddenly turned and shot you a sharp look. "But don't go around saying those words to anyone, am I understood?"

"Oh, uh– yes. . . Sir?" Maybe the sentence that you said was something rude?

'Oh well.' You shrugged it off, you'll learn what it means soon anyway.

Chamber took a quick shot of his coffee before clearing his throat again.

"Now we'll start at the basics, you may learn on your own when I'm away but only with the material that I will give you, am I understood?"

"Oui!"

"That's a good girl."

- - - -

On the other side of headquarters, a team had just arrived from a two-week mission.

"Where's (y/n)?" A particular agent asked as soon as he stepped out of the Vulture. Both his arm and hands are full of souvenirs that he brought from the country where the mission took place. His left hand held a bag full of snacks and little trinkets, while his right arm cradled a big and round stuffed toy penguin.

"I believe she's in the common room," Sage replied to the man with a gentle smile.

The man returned a kind smile to Sage.

"Thank you."

The man didn't even bother putting his things down as he hurriedly went over to where you could be, gifts still tight in their hold.

He finally arrived at the door to the common area with the eagerness to see your face, but as he entered, he immediately catches your familiar form sitting and laughing.

Laughing with someone else– with Chamber.

"Gaia."

He calls out your agent name aloud and saw you whip your head in his direction. His chest tightened at the sight of your growing smile and delightfully took note of the roses that started to bloom on your head the moment you saw him.

"Sova!"

[delicatelystrangepolice]

Another thing is, I never read YR as a political/cultural commentary piece because I believe it was way subtler in the first two seasons. Maybe it was easier for me not to read into it since I watched the show without any major context in the beginning.

What I saw were just the characters in this story, behaving pretty believably in their environment, their actions logical for their context, and conflicts coming just from circumstances.

I never read Wille any other way than just a teenager – I saw people using very strong words about him, from ‘helpless damaged baby’ to ‘spoiled and selfish brat.’ Since the story was immersive enough for me to see him like a real person, I never liked the simplifications of his character. Maybe I come from very specific experiences, but partying and acting up teenagers is nothing new to me. Being dramatic, neither. Those behaviors are not exclusive to rich/privileged kids. I mostly saw him as just a little troubled, trying to orient himself in the situation he found himself in.

But there comes Simon. Now I get that people accept he was just a plot device the reason for Wille to throw away the crown, but I firmly believe he was not written that way in the beginning. Simon felt as real as Wille. He had his own huge context, his troubles and characteristics – I always saw him as a real person as well. Also, I never saw him as a victim either. Again, that’s probably both because the show was written subtly enough and because I don’t have a simplistic worldview.

Social injustice is naturally a very close matter to my heart. I keep myself hopeful about the world, despite seeing some devastating shit in my life, because I believe in change. I believe in people working together, I believe in communities and parties willing to compromise for a cause.

I can’t comment much about the monarchy aspect of it, but what I gathered is that people don’t like the very concept of it. The right to be born in the right family and so on…

Well, the realist in me knows that people will always be born into something. It doesn’t matter that it’s not written in the law – countries without monarchies have some biggest social inequalities in the world. Russia is a great example. But the USA doesn’t fall far back behind either. Nowadays the inequalities come simply from being born into money. And it’s always going to be a thing. All around the world. I wish people understood that.

Inequalities aren’t diminished by revolutions, I don’t think (pretty sure some historians would agree with me although they are very welcome to correct me) They can be reduced however by the whole community working together. By stopping multiplying divisions and starting to talk. By listening to understand and not just to argue against.

I can’t help being angry at the message from YR because Sweden is one of the most progressive and developed countries in the world. Their social system is admired around the world, I think. Even their education system is the model others can only aspire to. I’m not saying they don’t have problems, but you know, in the bigger context…

Maybe it takes someone raised in a post-communist country to see those things that way.  I just know that, deep down in my soul, destroying something is rarely the way. Building on that thing, adding to it, changing it to include – that’s how things are done to improve.

True both for countries and for worldviews.

Now, you started to read it because you thought I was talking about the show, and by the end of it you realized you were just reading my socialistic manifesto? Good. That’s how I felt watching Young Royals. But since the big media creators can do it on mainstream platforms, I figured a simple person could do it on their weird blog too.

[ingravinoveritas]

Have you seen AL's latest insta story? sure, it would even be cute... if she didn't set a trend of subtly (not so subtly) commenting on his looks.

also idk if you hadn't seen this one from November 16th:

(yes it looks like his handwriting) random thoughts:

"I think he likes me" tee-hee? Much need for validation?

gurl, going without a phone for a week? seriously? how? why?

... How did you even post, if you're phoneless? or did you wait to have one, to stage this pic?

maybe it's me, but sharing such an intimate note seems *just a bit* in bad taste.

Am I being too petty? Maybe. Whatever.

(Finally getting around to answering more Asks, so thank you all for being so patient!) @artificial-indulgence No, I don't think you are being petty at all. I'm really very tired of Anna's posts as of late, and all of the above is certainly no exception.

I think it's worth noting that she posted that picture with Bernard (and all of the pictures from her Insta story) in a separate post, because apparently she didn't get enough attention, and the picture of Michael and David was dead last in the post. Which seems fitting, given that the caption on the post was a "A weekend of vanity and insanity" and the first few pictures were of her, suggesting that she was using the picture of Michael and David to get more traction for her own pictures.

This ties into your comment, @longingtolinger-blog, because she did indeed post that story calling herself a "vain twat" just earlier in the same day as the story with the pic of Michael and David:

And I had the same thought, that it seemed as if she was trying to be self-deprecating, but it just...didn't land? It came across as awkward, mostly because vanity/being vain isn't really something to brag about. Do we all have moments of being vain? Of course. But Anna seems to be making it part of her personality, and it's just...not cute. Also, in the same way as Michael calling David his lover, you generally don't refer to yourself as a "vain twat" if you don't want people to think that you're a vain twat.

That said, I did see AL's Insta story from the 16th, and nearly three weeks later, it still doesn't make sense. As you said, how did she post this without a phone? Or, as we could infer, does this mean she got that note sometime earlier in the week, and waited at least several days just to stage this picture? Also, with two little kids around, how does it make sense for her to not even have a backup phone? We could certainly assume that she did, but the story above would suggest otherwise, since Michael had to email her (which is, for the record, about the least romantic correspondence imaginable). Let's also remember that on the 16th, Michael was still in the middle of being virulently attacked on Twitter after the events of October 30th, and Anna had plenty of opportunities to defend him. To say something like, "Michael's a great guy, he does a lot of charity work, he doesn't deserve to be attacked like this." Instead, it was all about her and what she gets from him. In fact, the week prior to the 16th, she posted another Insta story of flowers that he supposedly sent her, with that song "My Love Mine All Mine" in the story, thereby doubling down on bragging about him getting her things while saying nothing about him as an actual person.

Going back to the first story above, we know that Michael has previously been affectionately compared to the Tennants' dog Bernard (and David to their other dog, Myrtle). But as you said, given AL's history of making snarky comments about Michael's appearance, it feels a lot less affectionate and a lot more unkind coming from her. What surprised me about her Insta story the most, however, was how not surprising it was, as that story is actually not the first time Anna has "joked" about leaving Michael. And given that that seems to be an enjoyed pastime of hers, it almost seems like they would both be happier and better off if she actually did leave him.

It somehow becomes worse when we see this exchange, which took place on Twitter yesterday:

(Maybe she should get a refund, since she seems pretty unsatisfied with what she's got...)

Again, I would have no problem saying that this was just teasing or ribbing or whatever if it weren't for literally everything else in this post, plus what I've also talked about on my blog previously. But complaining about Michael like this publicly makes her come across as so damn rude and ungrateful. Contrast this with David "complaining" about Michael and it only makes the difference even more stark: That with David, there's a mutual respect and affection and reciprocation, which we do not at all ever see Michael do with her. And I can't help but think that if their relationship is as great as she would like everyone to believe, she wouldn't be on Twitter going back and forth with fans just to get that validation, as you mentioned.

Those are pretty much my thoughts on AL's posts/stories from the last month. It's interesting to me that more people seem to be noticing the weirdness of all this, and I appreciate both of you writing in. And as always, glad to hear from my followers about what you all think...

[starstruckwillows]

she’s an intellectual part ii — jesper fahey ♡

requested by @softforjungwoo <3

jesper fahey x scholar!reader, mostly fluff, bit of hurt/comfort, swearing

you meet the crows for the first time ever

part i

you spun on your chair loosely while jesper paced your room.

“do you really want this yet, jes? cos i’ll stay here, i don’t mind.”

he waved you off, “no, no, you should meet them.”

you frowned, “because you want me to, or because you’re trying to prove i’m real.”

“because i want you to. promise. they’re... kinda like my family.”

you stood up, twisting your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips, “then i’d love to. and please tie your shoes before we leave, my love.” he’d tripped on them one too many times.

the ketterdam walk to nina’s birthday party was cold; jesper served as your human radiator, as ever.

“so, tell me about everyone again.” you linked your arm with his and he nodded.

“there’s kaz brekker, barrel bastard, my main man. don’t touch him, he doesn’t like it. he will definitely glare at you, and you probably won’t have a real conversation with him for like three months. he’s proper complex.”

you laughed, “he sounds delightful.”

jesper shrugged, “oh, he is, really. you just won’t see that tonight. then inej, she’s really cool. will make you jump all the time because she moves soundlessly. really nice too. don’t disrespect her saints.”

“understood.”

“matthias, ex drüskelle, massive bloke, do not try to arm wrestle him cos you won’t win. trust me. super in love with nina, and super polite. thinks we’re all crazy killers, he’ll probably love you for a change of pace.”

the thought of jesper challenging a beefy fjerdan soldier to an arm wrestle was enough to have you giggling again, but he flicked your shoulder for that, mumbling about how he ’totally stood a chance’.

he pressed on, “nina’s a heartrender, loves her waffles. bit of a sparky one but she’s lovely. don’t talk to her if she’s hungry, because she will substitute that by biting off your head. overall, she’s great.”

you could see the light in his eyes as he discussed the people he viewed so highly. even when they were all arguing and things were going to shit, they were a tight pack. you weren’t sure if you were going to integrate successfully, but you pushed that to the back of your mind.

“wylan van eck, not a smidge like his dickhead dad, so don’t worry about that. brilliant chemist, could blow you up, but would never, he’s a sweetheart. absolutely no alcohol tolerance though, so if you see him with a drink just subtly tip it into a plant.”

this wasn’t the first you’d heard of the crows, so jesper’s information was sealed well into your brain.

he knocked on the building you’d just arrived at. a restaurant, one renowned for selling waffles as desert. jesper muttered how very predictable that decision had been as he guided you to a booth table in the corner, his hand on the small of your back as you sat down.

surverying the others at the table, you deduced it was wylan and inej here already.

talking to them was easy. it felt like a warm-up for the more difficult of his friends to gain approval of.

but the evening was lovely, and while kaz effectively only spoke to you for means of a background check, you successfully bonded with the others.

jesper, despite his earlier anxiety, relaxed almost straight away and retained his usual joker persona for the majority of the meal.

there were one or two comments that he laughed at, but also squeezed your hand.

we were starting to think you were imaginary!

jesper wanted to go to the university, do you teach him things you learn?

i wasn’t sure if he was ever gonna settle down, to be honest... never seen him serious.

they weren’t meant with ill intent, and on another day it may not have bothered him in the slightest. on another day, he may have been the one making the jokes. it was probably leftover nerves, his need for his family to approve of you. or maybe he was just tired.

whatever the reason, by the time he’d walked you back to your dorm and you’d convinced him to stay the night, which didn’t take much persuasion, jesper was in need of a hug.

he just wasn’t sure where teasing ended and truth began. was he not smart enough for you?

luckily for him and his aversion to being serious, you didn’t need him to tell you how he felt. you knew exactly what was bothering him.

“they were great, i’m glad i got to meet them.” you smiled at him as you changed into sleepwear.

jesper nodded, distracted, “yeah, yeah it was good.”

you coaxed him into bed, candle burning low beside you, but you could feel how tense he remained. weaving your hand behind him to mess lightly with his curls the way you know would have him paying attention to you, you asked, “do you wanna talk about it, baby?”

jesper sighed, letting his eyes shut, “don’t know. i mean, it’s stupid, really. i know they’re kidding.”

“doesn’t matter if you believe it. do you? believe it?”

he paused, and your heart almost broke for him, before mumbling, “maybe... sometimes.”

turning his head to face you fully, his eyes opening on instinct, you answered, “do you want to know what i believe?”

he hummed his agreement.

“i think you are one of the best people i’ve ever met. you’re sweet, you’re funny, you’re so good to me, and to the people you love. it’s not a coincidence you have all these people who care about you, jes. it’s okay to have these feelings, they’re human, and they aren’t stupid. i get it too, sometimes-”

as much as he was loving your speech, warmth swirling in his heart at the pure sincerity in your eyes, he cut you off there, “what? why would... what do you... what?”

“we’re different people from different worlds, jesper. we’re always going to wonder if we can truly fit in each other’s lives. but it doesn’t matter. i love you, and i know you love me. i will never give you any reason to feel insecure about that.”

he smiled, finally relaxing under your touch, and rested his forehead against yours. with the smallest, most honest whisper of thank you, he fell asleep. but not before he heard your hushed response, sweet and kind and beautiful and everything he saw you to be.

everything he knew you saw him to be.

🏷️ — @ariyabella @sw34terw34ther @ell0ra-br3kk3r @meredarling

[isa-ghost]

hey it's the anon who asked what dr*m did,

I decided to do my own research (mainly cause I was curious) but... I can't find much? let me rephrase it - I did find the allegations from 6ish months ago, that he's going to court with one(?) of them, but that's... all? I didn't find the court's verdict, confirmations, or him admitting either... and any post or video I find has both the OP and the comments mostly on his side and believing that it's either not true or true but not grooming, even people who say they're not his fans or don't even like him.

so Im not sure if the confirmation didn't reach youtube or if I'm searching wrong or something?

but honestly while researching I realized that I cant stand him lmao, gotta agree with some comments I read - he made a mistake by showing more of his personality online, looks like any time he can handle a situation wrong/respond wrong he does it

so dunno, guess I didnt find the confirmation but at least now I don't find his old minecraft videos interesting anymore so theres that

Yeah he can't act properly to save his fucking life

Also I think most of the threads on Twitter and stuff that have all the proof he's guilty/etc is probably long buried, unfortunately. You could probably try to ask around saying you're trying to get the whole picture but tbh it's not a huge deal if you can't. You can try searching my blog but Tumblr sucks with that shit. The fact that this and his other controversies have been buried and lost to the void of the internet is typical white boy with a monstrously big platform shit so I'm not surprised. I never heard any details about court (prob for legal reasons) or a conviction either. All I know is there was screenshot proof from the victim that they talked, and Dr*m confirmed the screenshots were real but didn't say anything about other details. But those details literally can't be false if the screenshots & the shit said in them are true.

Anyway, as far as his other bullshit goes:

People found old kkk meme edits on his yt account through the wayback machine. More than once if I'm not mistaken

He has a history of defending himself using the r slur

He cheated "on accident" in a speedrun (the least important thing ever but everyone always brings it up)

He claimed he was going to donate all proceeds during pride month to lgbt+ charities & he'd do charity streams all month but never did

He defended himself about replying to haters, which would send thousands of his toxic stans after the person getting them doxxed/death threats/etc and he refused to address that it was irresponsible of him bc he was too entitled to immaturely clap back at the antis. Even other ccs, like B/itzel called him out about shit related to how he uses his platform irresponsibly & he unfollowed & shaded them like a bitch baby

The whole "accidental" copycat shit with QSMP/USMP and basically softcore stalking Q/uackity online.

His "apologies" for all of the above fucking sucked in multiple ways. And that's just 2021-Now shit I can remember off the top of my head, I lost my Twitter in May last year so now I get my info from people's posts about it on here or links to tweets.

Everyone largely suspects he spontaneously reignited d/smp lore & started the finale to cover up the groomer thing bc he has a history of doing smth "new and cool" every time he causes drama to divert attention and avoid accountability.

He's also suspected of suddenly rewriting the d/smp finale to paint his Irredeemable Abuser Villain Up Until The Last Stream as a sympathetic poor baby out of nowhere and wrote that his victim, c!Tommy apologized to him, which sends a HORRIBLE message about abusive relationships. T/ommy and T/ubbo have both subtly mentioned not liking the finale and that Dr*m had AWFUL communication during the last like 6+ months of the smp.

He also suddenly showed up in T/ubbo's chat lurking while T/ubbo happened to be mentioning he'd do his own research on the grooming situation instead of blindly siding with Dr*m and it was some shit out of a horror movie is2g, he suddenly dmed T/ubbo out of nowhere during it on discord saying they'd talk about it after T/ubbo wasn't streaming. Basically sounds like he was gonna bias T/ubbo about his innocence. Like he hadn't been in chat all stream long but SUDDENLY he was there the second the topic came up. But the d/smp ccs also can't say anything about the situation since it's a legal matter, so a handful of ccs have just stated/implied they don't support him other ways

He only quit MCC bc he threw a tantrum about how he couldn't practice for it but now that MCC island exists, people were getting better than him. He's habitually a sore loser about that kinda shit

He's got that whole weird "is he, isn't he" bullshit going on about him being lgbt. I personally think he's just catering to his stupid d/n/f shippers bc they like to truth their relationship & sexuality all the time and he's never explicitly said he's bi or smth. He's just vaguely been like "yeeeaahhhh I mostly like girls like 99% but maaaayyybeee I like guys idkkkk. 🤪" But he's also done that multiple times so who tf knows. I'm not gonna fully dismiss him & I understand no one including me is entitled to his specific sexuality, but he has garbage credibility on like everything so I'm neutral on the matter and find it hard to believe him

Not directly him related, but his stans went on a long and horrifying witch hunt on Twitter during the kkk ordeal doxxing, death threatening & harassing ENTIRE mcyt subtwts who spoke out against him and called him out on his racism, performative activism, shitty apology, etc. For example, I was part of S/neeg's subtwt and all my mutuals and me had to go private to avoid getting doxxed. It felt like being raided in some dystopian ass horror film. Entire subtwts were going private, panicking, paranoid they'd get outed & stalked & harassed by people just for condemning racism, raising Black voices, etc. It was borderline traumatic to some people, I know people who lost sleep over it bc they were so afraid.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but the end of 2021 to early 2022 was a fucking nightmare between him being an immature entitled piece of shit and his stans blindly defending him and going out of their way to endanger people who rightfully opposed him.

[nagitosasshole]

here's a lil sneak peak / teaser for a Aether fic of mine. i need to clear up space on my phone before i can finish it, but i really needed to write a comfort fic regarding Aether's departure.

he's always been one of my favorites and a huge comfort character of mine, and i know he is for other people, too. this is a teensy angsty, but also lighthearted (as Aether himself is). i've created a cannon for what goes down when he's sent back to the ministry, mostly taken from silly headcanons i've seen about. that's all, prepare for the silly-

(not proofread)

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

My feet pad heavily on the marble floors of the ministry halls, creating a staccato beat of 'tap rap tap rap'.

As soon as the news came through, I abandoned what I was doing. I'm lucky my work for the day was done because I'm sure a scolding from Imporater would surely make worse of an already terrible, awful situation.

Not bothering to knock, I slam his office door open, cringing slightly at the loud noise I created. I give an apologetic look as I press my palms to my knees as I pant. Jesus, I need to exercise more. 

The quintessential ghoul looked puzzled even behind his mask, that is until it faded. His look read of, 'Ah, I see now'. The gears turned and turned then click, and he understood. 

You found out.

Of course, you did- You're his human. His. Of course, you'd rush over. He should have guessed. 

"I…came…as…soon…as…I…heard…" I pant out in between words. Slowly, I stand straight (ignoring the sharp pain in my side. Seriously, I need to fucking exorcize more). Our eyes meet behind the dark lenses of his goggles, and a look of understanding is quickly shared. 

The atmosphere of the room changed.

It's accepting, but…sad. Melancholy. It's so hard to place. Poor Aeth must not even know how to process this. I mean, it just fucking happened. 

"Sweetheart, did you run all the way here?" He asks in a concerned tone, more of a stunned statement than a question. "Here, sit. Sit." He gestures to the lone seat sitting perpendicular to his, but before I can make my way to it to eagerly accept, he's stood and pulled the chair out for me. He lets out a weighted sigh as he gently eases me into the chair. 

"Doll, you can't do that. You know you can't handle running like that." He said in a stern but soft tone, sounding more worried than anything. Could have done without that running comment, though…Although I know he means the best, so he's forgiven. 

I huff one last big breath before shaking my head and his comments away. Quickly perking up with big, confused, and worried eyes, I spew out, "But Aeth, how are you not…not…upset? A-Are you? I mean, what even happened-?" In a mild panic, only stopped by Aether's large, warm hand pressing against my shoulder. 

The warmth and pleasant pressure silence me as I look up at him. Another sigh slips past his lips at my furrowed brow expression. Squatting slightly, his hand slips from my shoulder to my hand. Slipping it under my hand, his other reaches over to encase the top of my hand.  

"It…will make you laugh, at least." He begins, looking almost embarrassed or sheepish. It's clear he's playing into the funny part to better soothe me because of course, he thinks of me in this moment rather than himself. Although I see what he's doing, I tilt my head slightly in confusion. 

Seeing me sufficiently intrigued, he leans closer a bit, a small smile quirking at his lips. "I left too many damn banana peels about. Turns out Papa busted his tailbone 'cause of a peel I left. Also, turns out that I was already on thin ice, so he got pissed and punished me." He finished with a small chuckle. 

I give him a small disbelieving look and it only takes a few seconds for his shoulders to slouch subtly. "Okay, I also put a banana peel on his dick when he was sleeping." He offers up begrudgingly. I give another look and he quickly adds, "Not bare dick, I'll have you know." 

Now that got a laugh. A small, huff of a laugh- but a laugh. 

"Is that all?" *I ask quietly, a small smirk lifting the corners of my lips.

"Yes." 

…

"No." 

I narrow my eyes at him with an expecting look.

"To be fair, Dew said I wouldn't put a banana in the Keurig because I'm 'not shit', and because I 'can't do anything to the Keurig again because Papa and Sister are still mad at you for decommissioning the communal coffee maker'. He was wrong, and he's a bitch." He says completely sincerely, tone far too plain for such a fuckey sentence. Fuck, this is the man I love…

"I-" I begin, but just shake my head with a laugh. "Fuckin' hell, Aeth." I sigh and shake my head fondly. Looking back into his eyes, I let my expression soften slowly as I extend my hand not being held in both his hands and up to his face. Cupping his jaw, I gently whisper, "Are you alright?" 

My question earns a small shrug initially, leading to a soft, weighted sigh. "I am. It just…hurts. It's still very fresh." He admits, tone even and calm, but with a twinge of sadness to it. 

"I've been with them for years. They're my pack, my family. I just hope the new additions get acclimated well. Hope they'll last longer than I did." 

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i'll be going into why he's staying in the ministry (even if his initial punishment in this story was just that; a punishment and not permanent) when i eventually finish this. until then, this is all.

i miss Aether so much, man :'^)

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

A big thanks to @witchybitchybisexual who tagged me in this amazing 30-questions Golden Girls-themed game; I had a *great* time answering these! I look forward to reading everyone's answers (including yours, @witchybitchybisexual!).

I'm hiding all questions after #1 under a cut, because this got long haha!

1. How did you find out about the show?

Via another show I love -- Good Omens! Or, actually, via the amazing book that inspired it. One of the main characters, the demon Crowley, is a big fan of The Golden Girls; there's a great scene in which the forces of hell hijack one of Rose's monologues to send him a message while he's watching the show! I was in need of something new to watch at the time, and I figured if Crowley liked it so much, it was at least worth checking out. :)

2. One storyline you’d eliminate?

Hmm... probably Miles' witness protection program storyline? I don't mind it that much (it gave us some fun jokes and some memorable scenes!), but I feel like that was a turning point in Miles' character, and I just don't like the person he became after that turning point.

There was no question 3 here, so I made up my own! Hope that's not an issue :)

3. Best guest star/character?

Lynnie Greene takes the cake as the best guest star, for sure. I adore her and she played a phenomenal young!Dorothy. The second place goes to Dick Van Dyke, just because I love him in general!

As for the best guest character, I think the honour goes to Angela, Sophia's sister! She's absolutely hilarious and her comedic chemistry with Sophia is stellar. I also have to mention John Neretti from S6E23 What A Difference A Date Makes for being the best man in the series imho.

4. Character you most relate to?

Dorothy! My personality nowadays is a bit of a mix between Dorothy and Rose, I feel, but the Dorothy side is prevalent (and it was even more prevalent a few years back). I love reading and literature (and I enjoy learning about history, although I don't have her passion for it); I share her love for teaching (although I'm not a teacher); I was a great student in school, but not a popular kid at all; I'm level-headed and responsible, but I can be impulsive under the right circumstances; I'm very protective of the people I love; I'm Italian and was brought up a Catholic; I'm often the tallest girl in the room (I'm just a bit shorter than Bea Arthur was!) and I'm not attractive (not that Dorothy isn't -- but she is perceived as unattractive in the show), so I also understand her self-esteem issues fairly well.

I'm not as quick-witted as she is, unfortunately, and nowadays my outlook on life is more positive and easy-going than hers, but she's still the one I relate to the most.

5. Favourite character?

Blanche, although the other Girls are very, very close. I adore them all and I especially love to see them interact, but if I have to pick one, then it's Blanche. She's the one who surprised me the most! At the start of the show I kind of wrote her off as 'the man-crazy one', and that's as far removed from me as possible, so I didn't really focus much on her at the beginning. Then came S1E4 The Transplant, and then came her family issues, and then came all her memories of George, and before I knew it I was head-over-heels in love with her. Rue was masterful in how subtly she played her; she showed Blanche's depth as a character little by little, letting the audience peek behind the mask only for moments at a time, so when I realized I hadn't given her the attention she deserved, I was already in too deep.

6. Favourite story of a cast member?

Oh, so many good ones to choose from! The first one that comes to mind is Bea's anecdote about the time she was Tallulah Bankhead's understudy. The awe with which she describes her coming down the stairs is palpable -- but I mostly admire how she took Bankhead's mean comment and turned it into motivation. And Bea did get her 'coming down the stairs to thunderous applause' moment (more than once!), so her vow came true!

A fun one that involves all four main actresses is this blooper related to Blanche's Christmas gift to the girls, the 'The Men Of Blanche's Boudoir' calendar. Watching all of them lose their marbles over this prank is priceless -- it always puts a big smile on my face!

(Is this what you meant by this question? I wasn't sure!)

7. Which was the episode that got you hooked?

The pilot, lmao. It might be a cheesy answer, but it's true! I was immediately hooked from S1E1 scene one. Dorothy's incredible entrance got me.

8. You could wear one girl’s wardrobe for the rest of your life, who would you pick?

It's a toss-up between Blanche's and Dorothy's.

9. How many kids do you think they all actually had?

... this ask made me realize there are doubts about this, lmao. I've never done the math! Had to go check on wikipedia 😂

As far as I can tell, it's fairly set in stone that Rose had five children, of which we meet two (Kirsten, with two different faces 😂, and Brigit, who I assume is her youngest one).

It also seems reasonably certain that Dorothy had two kids -- Kate and Michael. I will say I've always thought Kate was much younger than she should have been in her appearances on the show, considering Dorothy was pregnant with her when she married, but maybe she just looked much younger than she actually was, I don't know.

Blanche is more complicated. We see both of her daughters, Janet and Rebecca, and in S3E3 Bringing Up Baby she mentions three sons, Matthew (also known as 'Skippy'), Doug, and Biff. In that same episode, though, she also says she's had four kids! I get where the disconnect comes from, haha. To be precise, her quote is:

"I have had four kids, I have never had a Mercedes."

This is just off the top of my head, but I wonder if she means 'I have had' in the sense of 'I have given birth to' here? This would imply one of her children is actually adopted (which is very interesting to think about!!). Since she directly mentions her three sons after this quote, I suppose our suspects are Janet and Becky. I'll have to give this some more thought, though -- for now my answer is that Blanche has five kids, and that 'four' is a continuity error on the writers' part.

10. Do you think the actresses would’ve gotten along with their characters if they met in real life? Why/Why not?

Interesting question! I think so, yes.

Dorothy and Bea seem fairly similar already -- as far as I know Bea was a big sweetheart, a private, gentle person, and Dorothy's a big sweetheart too. Plus I feel like Dorothy would have been respectful of Bea's introverted nature, and Bea would have been understanding and accepting of Dorothy's personal history (not to mention, she wouldn't have mocked her for not dating/for her appearance).

In all the interviews I've seen, Estelle seems very respectful and very fond of old people in general -- I think she'd find Sophia a riot! I seem to remember a clip in which she actually says she likes Sophia, so I feel pretty secure in stating they'd get along.

There's this famous quote by Rue in which she essentially says that she's similar to Blanche in everything but the fact that she's not from Atlanta 😂 so I feel justified in assuming they would have had fun with each other! Rue's stated that she felt an immediate connection to Blanche as a character, and that playing Blanche helped her gain more self-esteem and confidence, so I think meeting her in person would have had a similar effect! And Rue (being a very open, honest, compassionate person) might have helped Blanche drop her mask a little bit.

The only one I have an inkling of doubt about is Betty -- mostly because she'd run circles around Rose! But ultimately I think any 'mocking' would be gentle and affectionate, much like the Girls' jokes in the show. I think they would have liked each other -- and they could have bonded on their common love for animals alone!

11. What are your other comfort shows?

Apart from the aforementioned Good Omens, I'm also very fond of Only Murders In The Building, a really fun show about solving murders and found family that I wholeheartedly recommend. Derry Girls is another recent favourite. Oh, if you like cartoons too, I recommend Steven Universe, Hilda, and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

12. Headcanons? (Feel free to list as many as you’d like)

Oh, my god. I have so many and I'm for sure going to forget some. Let's see...

I've already said some time ago that in my mind Dorothy drives stick shift. Reasoning for this is that Italians (including yours truly, haha!) drive stick shift, and she's of Italian descent, so... she knows how to drive an automatic car, she just learned how to drive on a stick shift one (and in the streets of Brooklyn, no less!). Still on Dorothy: I think she has a very neat handwriting (she feels like the type of person who consciously decided to improve her handwriting at some point in her life), but she's prone to leaving ink stains on the page (and on her hands!!), especially when she's writing in a hurry.

Rose is really strong! Physically strong, I mean. I know she was a housewife for most of her life, but she was a farm girl first! Farming takes a lot of physical resilience, and that's the kind of strength that stays with you, I think. She's the one who lifts up the furniture when they clean (S2E12 The Sisters), and I don't think they'd let her do that if she couldn't handle it. Plus, remember that time she broke a whole ceramic cup with one bare hand (in S7E19 A Midwinter Night's Dream)? Yeah. I also subscribe to some mutuals' hc that she's autistic (although they'll be able to comment on it much better than I can, if they want to!).

Regarding Blanche, I really enjoy @\eeblouissant's hc that she has a permanent tan! She's from the South, she's lived near the coast for ages, *and* she's expressed an appreciation for sunbathing in the show, so it makes perfect sense to me. Also: she's a cover hog! In the show Rose is the one who admits to stealing the covers (in S2E5 Isn't It Romantic?, iirc), but I like to think Blanche is the worst offender. It's a good way to complete the Girls' trifecta of sleeping annoyances (Dorothy snores, Rose sleeptalks, Blanche steals the covers!), and I think it's thematically appropriate for her -- considering her Southern origin, I think she's more sensitive to the cold than Dorothy and Rose are, and she's always looking for affection, so...

Oh, regarding their sexuality: I don't have a marked preference for any of them, but I tend to think of Blanche as a bisexual with a lot of internalized homophobia. Rose is also bi, and somewhere on the asexual spectrum (and I have textual evidence for this!). @\hecatesbroom has completely convinced me to read Dorothy as a repressed lesbian, but I'm fine with people considering her bisexual too. I prefer queer interpretations of all of them, but I'm honestly fine with any take, as long as the strong (platonic or romantic) bond between them is preserved.

Most of my headcanons on Sophia are just traits borrowed from my grandmothers -- for example, I like to think that she started getting into gardening once she moved in with the Girls, and she's really gifted at it (like my grandma!).

13. What would you change (if anything) about the show/ characters if it was set in the modern day?

This is a really hard question to answer properly, because while the show is still very relevant to the present day, some aspects are so grounded in their time that a lot of things don't make as much sense when transposed into the future. For example -- would Dorothy end up marrying Stanley and staying married to him for 38 years if he'd gotten her pregnant in the 90s? Single mothers weren't exactly celebrated back then either (Madonna's Papa Don't Preach is from 1986), but they still had it much better than they did back in the 40s-50s -- and divorce has become much more accessible (and socially acceptable) in the past few decades. Would she have left him earlier? Would she have married him at all?

And what about Sophia? Being an Italian immigrant in the 50s seems different from being an Italian immigrant in the 20s -- there was a whole World War between the two, for starters. Would she still emigrate to the US? Would she even emigrate at all? How would she have survived the fascist regime in Italy?

Blanche and Rose are perhaps less grounded in their time. St Olaf is so absurd it might as well be the exact same in the present day (and dying in childbirth is unfortunately still too common, so it's not strange to think that Rose would be an orphan in any case), and considering how some people still think and behave nowadays, Blanche's biography and opinions seem plausible even when transposed 30-40 years into the future (at least to me). But still -- many of the issues they deal with were grounded in their time. Take Rose's AIDS scare: would she react in the same way in the present day, knowing that care for HIV patients has progressed so much?

To be fair, apart from all these questions, all of the Girls are still plausible (and relatable) characters from a modern POV; but society has changed a lot in the past 30-40 years, and I think a groundbreaking, socially advanced show like Golden Girls would necessarily have to change as a consequence. It's just in the spirit of the show! The core idea of four women sharing a life is still a perfect premise, but the problems the Girls face, their careers, their economic stability, their ideas on love and relationships -- there's a lot that could be different when transposed to the present day! I feel like this question requires much more space, time, and analysis to be answered properly.

One thing I like to think is that at least some of the Girls might have been explicitly queer if the show was set in the present day! Which opens up a lot of avenues for plot-lines and relationships :)

14. Which other Fictional Characters would you like each one of the golden girls to meet?

I have a storyboard in my notes for a little comic in which the Girls travel to England and meet Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, so them, definitely 😂

Also, the Derry Girls! Check out this great crossover fic on Ao3 -- the chaotic energy is just off the charts, I love it.

15. Who were your favourite duo?

Oh, I can't choose. Any duo within the Girls. Their 1:1 interactions are all amazing, there's no way I can pick just one. I love the bond between Dorothy and Sophia, I love Dorothy and Blanche's chemistry, I love how fun and silly Blanche and Rose get to be together, I love the ironclad trust between Dorothy and Rose, I love Blanche and Sophia's love-(fake) hate friendship, I love the way Sophia hides her immense affection for Rose under a veil of humour and the way Rose sees right through it. I could write an essay on each pair of them.

15. Who should’ve got more 1:1 screen time with each other?

I'm pretty happy with the amount of 1:1 time each pair of Girls got with each other, actually! One of the strengths of the show imho is how well-balanced the interactions between the main cast are. If I really have to nitpick, I think I might have liked a couple of episodes specifically on Dorothy and Rose in the last couple of seasons; it feels like they interacted 1:1 less after S5, but that might just be me.

I also think the Girls' interactions with secondary characters and guests were well-balanced, in general; I can't think of any specific example where I wished for one of the Girls to have more interactions with a certain character.

... okay, there is one instance, but it's not really a matter of screen time, more of what happened during said screen time. I really, really wanted to see Blanche (with Rose as support) tear into Stan. I think we deserved a scene where she tells him off for the way he treats Dorothy -- she's already pretty caustic in the show when it comes to him (except in S6, for some reason...), and a proper confrontation would have been glorious.

16. Calmest season?

Is there one? 😂 the first season, I guess? It feels a bit more 'domestic' and contained in scope, likely because it was the first -- but it's still a wild ride!!

17. Most chaotic season?

Season 3, for sure. It's a bit all over the place, and it contains some of the wildest premises in the whole series -- I mean, Bringing Up Baby? Letter to Gorbachev? Mister Terrific? I could go on -- there's lots of chaotic episodes in there! (Just to be clear: I love the chaos! S3 is not my favourite season, but it's still great -- and it's got some amazing episodes!)

18. Favorite Season?

I think the honour goes to season 5! It would probably be S6, if not for the whole 'Dorothy falls back in love with Stan' plot line. S7 is the one that contains the highest count of favourite episodes for me, but I think S5 is stronger as a whole, and it's got some true gems.

19. If the girls hadn’t had their established careers, what other ones could you picture them doing?

Oh, let's see! Stan mentions Dorothy always wanted to open an antique shop back in S1E11 The Return of Dorothy's Ex, and I think that really fits her. I can also see her as a (very passionate) librarian! And, of course, she'd be great as a college professor / history researcher.

Despite the Girls' lack of confidence in her ability to keep things alive, I think with proper training Rose would work well as a nurse. She already volunteers for the hospital, she can be competent when given the chance, she's a giving person, and she loves taking care of people, so I think she at least has the right attitude for it -- although I'd never place her in a stressful unit, especially at the start of the show! Apart from this, anything to do with animals, of course -- a zoo, a farm, a pet shop, she'd excel in all of them!

I can see Blanche thriving as a trophy wife, haha 😂 but that's not properly a career, so it's not a valid answer. Taking her keen artistic eye into account, I think she'd be great as a designer -- either a fashion designer, or an interior decorator. She also showed some talent and interest in psychology during the series, although I'm not sure she'd manage to remain completely professional as a psychologist. 😅

As for Sophia, I think she'd do well in any position that allows her to be a motivator! She's great at encouraging people through a bit of tough love, and she's a very driven person herself -- so I think she'd do well as a manager of sorts, although the kind of manager that still works hands-on too. I believe she'd manage to hold her own in more or less any field; she's very adaptable! I do think she's at her best in a kitchen, though.

20. Best aspects of the show in your opinion?

There's a lot! The writing, the performances, the costume department, it was all exceptional. I think the best aspect to me is the premise, and how seriously they took it! The idea of a show centered on four older women living together is groundbreaking, especially since it didn't make a mockery of them -- the Girls are serious, well-rounded characters, with full lives, written with lots of love and respect. I think this show really convinced me that life isn't over once you hit 30, and that there's plenty to look forward to as you age! A lot of people my age are terrified of growing older, and here I am, eager to see what's coming next -- and I owe at least some of this attitude to this show. I'm really grateful!

21. (This question is for my fellow cheesecake lovers) favourite cheesecake flavour?

:) Great question! I love cheesecakes in general, but I'm especially partial to raspberry cheesecakes.

22. Storyline you wished they had expanded upon?

The show has an unfortunate tendency to introduce characters and then forget about them, which allowed for more variety in the stories they chose to tell, but I would have liked to see some of the Girls' relatives and friends return! Like, I don't know -- Jean, for example, or Blanche's nephew from back in S1. Some of the guests' arcs are complete within their episode (as happens eg for Lily, Rose's sister), but others remained a bit 'in the air', and I think it would have been nice to see them again.

Oh, and also -- I would have liked some little references to the Girls' issues and problems outside of the episodes they're tackled in! References to Blanche's pacemaker, for example, or to Rose's addiction, or to Dorothy's CFS (or her hearing aid!!). I understand that the time was limited, but even a small callback or two would have been nice!

23. Questions you’d ask the actresses?

Does 'will you marry me' count? 😭

I'm not sure -- knowing me, I'd probably be unable to utter a word in their presence! Rather than ask questions, I think I'd just thank them for bringing such an incredible, wonderful show to life. It wouldn't have been the same without them.

24. Episode that brings you the most comfort?

Most of them, really. Even the sad ones; I hear the first few notes of the opening theme and my spirits are already lifted. I can pick one per season, if that's alright:

S1E25 The Way We Met

S2E17 Bedtime Story

S3E3 Bringing Up Baby

S4E4 Yokel Hero

S5E23 The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present

S6E26 Henny Penny -- Straight, No Chaser

S7E23/24 Home Again, Rose

But honestly there's so many more I could mention! I just love these ladies so much and I love to watch them in situations, haha.

25. Episode that made you laugh the hardest?

This is a cruel choice! Golden Girls is infamous in my house as 'the show that makes the-eclectic-wonderer howl with laughter', and I think that speaks for itself 😂

Let me pick at least three: S2E4 It's a Miserable Life, S7E2 The Case of the Libertine Belle, and S7E4 That's For Me To Know.

26. Which other work that the actresses did you enjoy the most?

I believe most of Estelle's career prior to The Golden Girls was in the theater, so I'm not sure it's even possible to watch her other works, unfortunately.

Show me Bea Arthur singing literally anything and I will be on my knees in seconds. Her musical performances are peak. Also -- I still haven't watched Maude, but I already know I'll love it.

Maude includes Rue as well -- I cannot wait to fall in love with her as Vivian too! And I have one of her early movies in my watch list, although I'm waiting for the right moment to watch it (homegirl plays a stripper and I'm not sure I can handle it in company without making a fool of myself, considering my big gay crush on her).

As for Betty -- Life With Elizabeth, absolutely. She's so funny and so beautiful and so captivating in it! She's simply charming, I love her to bits.

27. Best St Olaf Story?

The Great Herring War from S1E25 The Way We Met, no question. It's not necessarily the strongest from a comedy point of view (although it's certainly up there -- it's hilarious!), but the context and the way Dorothy and Blanche contribute to it make it the most memorable one, imho. It's my favourite, for sure.

(The story of Gunilla Bjorndunker, St Olaf's tallest woman, as told in S6E3 If At Last You Do Succeed is in second place).

28. Best slut story?

It changes every time I hear one, lmao! I love all of Blanche's stories!

If I must pick one -- I really enjoy Blanche's retelling of that time she realized she was even more devastating by moonlight in S1E25 The Way We Met, if only for that incredible final line ("It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music!"). I'm not sure if it counts, because it's so brief, but her involuntary remembrance of that time she had to call a cab to get home because the sailor she hooked up with wouldn't wake up (S2E17 Bedtime Story) always has me in stitches -- I love how unexpected and effective it is!

Oh, and I'm really fond of the one she tells her mama in S3E25 Mother's Day. I'm very sensitive to the theme of loved ones getting older and having trouble remembering stuff, so that whole flashback hits close to home for me, and I love how Blanche's story helps her and her mama connect over shared memories. It's really touching (and Rue's acting is spectacular).

29. Best Sicily story?

Sophia's alleged encounter with Pablo Picasso, as narrated in S6E24 Never Yell Fire In A Crowded Retirement Home: Part 1. I somehow didn't anticipate the punchline, and I lost my shit when Sophia name-dropped Picasso. I still lose my shit every time I listen to it. It's a classic.

30. Which girl would you be most interested in seeing a prequel of? And at which point in their life?

I would pay dearly for a young!Dorothy show. It might be depressing (because her life with Stan was... well... yikes) but also imagine -- Dorothy learning how to be a mom, her life at college, building herself a life... so many possibilities!!! And it would be even better if it featured some flashbacks to Sophia's life in Sicily!

I would enjoy a show about teenage Blanche's adventures, too, but a part of me thinks those stories are at their best when retold by Blanche herself (ie when there's a good amount of doubt as to their veracity, lmao).

[wanderingblindly]

HI!!!! for the director's cut thing: anything about you bring me closer to god that you haven't shared yet? 😊

HELLO EMY MY DARLING MY CHILD!!!!!! Thank you for asking about ✨her✨

Looking back at my previous comments about this fic, I’ve shared a lot about the writing process it seems. So today, I’d like to talk about some of the non-Oscar perspectives!

I thought a good deal about what Lando was feeling during this, since his body language and actions were the focus on a lot of Oscar’s internal monologue. Not that he always read them correctly, to be clear, but it was important nevertheless lol. The first piece of Lando that I parsed out is that ALL of his behavior before and after a show is part of his performance. There might be truth slipped into it, of course, but every choice he makes is stylized and intentional. For example:

Until he’s there, just like he’s always there: a half-zipped hoodie thrown over his stage clothes, hair finger combed into something a little more presentable, heavily-lined eyes alight with endorphins yet to wear off. Then the seconds crawl, briefly, as Oscar stands there, dish rag in hand, looking at him. Watching as Lando rests an elbow on the bar, cupping his jaw in his hand and tilting his head to the side – looking at him, too.  His jacket isn’t zipped this time – hanging loosely off his shoulders

Lando spent TIME making sure his hair looked presentable, even if it was that “intentionally messy” look; he spent TIME making sure his jacket hung off his shoulders just right before stepping out to the bar. In my mind, the twenty minutes spent back stage after a show was reflective of both his perfectionism ((his desire to broadcast the exact image the band needs)) and his nervousness around Oscar ((wanting to play the exact character Oscar would be most attracted to)).

in the following scene, I spent some time wondering why Lando would go to the bar during the day. It’s implied that they’ve had their post-show routine for a few weeks, so why now? In my mind, there were two possible reason — both of which I alluded to in the previous scene.

A) George or Alex finally goaded him into it:

We know that Lando feels like talking to Oscar is easier when he’s in costume, when he can hide behind his stage persona. We also know that Alex gave Lando a knowing look after their last performance — asking if Lando was gonna stay late again. It’s subtly implied that the band knows Lando is down ATROCIOUS, and maybe that side comment was the indication that they’re gonna finally push him on it.

B) Lando finally had a moment of realization:

The scene ends with a bit of an ‘ow’: Lando seemingly flirting with a beautiful woman down the bar, and Oscar trying his best to ignore it. While I mostly wrote this to show that Oscar has some insecurities around Lando and his vivacious personality, I also wanted it to show Lando’s perspective. To me, Lando wasn’t genuinely flirting with her — he was just making conversation, he’s just continuing to play the part of ‘hot and gregarious frontman’. Maybe she got a bit too forward, or maybe he caught a hint of hurt in Oscar’s eye — maybe both. In the end, I thought that maybe this was a moment where Lando realized that playing a part the entire time he’s with Oscar won’t get him what he wants.

As my last bit of ramble, I thought about how to show Lando’s discomfort/awkwardness without making it clear to Oscar what he was thinking — and I did so by having him storm into the bar and start bombarding Oscar with questions.

I wanted the effect of having him sound confident while actually being horrifically weird. Like, spamming someone with questions, not allowing them to return the favor, that’s…. Poor social etiquette. It’s a little off putting. Oscar finds it endearing because he’s also down atrocious, but objectively Lando was not playing it smooth. This would have worked on absolutely no one but Oscar.

Feel free to ask more about any of my fics 💖