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#and we can all work to make it kinder
hafwen · 5 months
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My mom called the charity that was able to give me my hospital bed, wheelchair, and shower chair for free because when her neuropathy is really bad she wants to potty chat so she doesn't have to walk the 50 feet to the bathroom so she’s getting that.
But she also asked them on the off chance had someone donated recliner because the chair she relaxes to sit in was already not the most comfortable but now she's falling asleep sitting up and it's really painful. They didn't have one, she understood, and said thank you very much. She was excited about the free potty chair but they called her today and said they called a local furniture store and they're going to donate a new recliner for free to my mom and deliver it Thursday or Friday!!!
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feline-evil · 2 months
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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shinayashipper · 1 year
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If I were to get Fired after Disappointing a customer (who hasn't paid and the worst thing happened to them is their orders late for a day and we cancelled his orders because he couldnt Wait any longer- DEMANDING us to finish the thing and said "I dont care I /want/ my orders Now" after we told him it will take us until midnights to work for it?? YOU HAVENT EVEN PAID), then I would gladly Leave. Certainly they didnt appreciate me at all
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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that spoken word i wrote back in gr 9 for english class about relating to the moon is still to relevant in the present n i love it so much
#🌙.rambles#i'm still proud of being able to write smth like that back then#i was relating us all to the moon w our imperfections n beauty but#i loved how around the end i wrote like. 'we don't have to be as beautiful as the moon' bcs 'we're only human after all'#i really love the thought in that. being the kind of people that we humans r capable of being bcs we're mortals#'the world is vast and the night is still young.'#honestly wnvr i think about how fast time's going by. when i look deep into my heart n soul i still see a young dreamer#no matter how old i get i aspire to always keep those dreams n words alive.#if i keep the curiosity of the kid with me then i think i'll be able to really learn n understand life in the way that best defines me#i love the poetry in this spoken word tho of#relating ourselves to these celestial beings. but in the end it's incomparable yet bcs we're human. n that's enough. that's alright#one day i hope to be well enough to write again. i do write from time to time but i'm a bit tired to really complete stuff#that's alright. i can be kind to myself. it's enough to go at our own pace#it hits different reading old stuff from before bcs i wld rlly just dream#but as i'm growing older n older i see how it reflects more n more on my reality#'before I know it / it’s already dawn.' i wrote that metaphorically back then but now i literally even stay awake till dawn ;;#even in pain i always write about how beautiful the world is. n that makes me realize that i'm still a kind n good person at heart#i do need to work on accepting my faults n a healthier n kinder manner but. yeah. i love people like me after all.#there's a reason why i love the moon so much as well. it's just rlly so poetic n beautiful to me#around the world there's ppl i've met n known that have associated me (a stranger from somewhere out there in the world) w the moon#i'm thinking abt life again n how beautiful it is. of all its possibilities n of all the connections n meaning we make#n us all as well. i know for me i really am a dreamer at heart. i'll always keep that. even if i'm weird or wtvr then who cares?#i'll be myself. /i/ am the one in control of my life n i'll decide how i choose to see my world. and live the way i want#sure it's lonely bcs most ppl out there aren't like us in this particular way but. we'll find that comfort. we deserve that.#who are we to be confined and restrained in this wide vast world?#how tragic it is to wish to hide. we don't have to be so open but we're all deserving of being known and understood#aaaa i'm probably still gna be a bit distant bcs i'm tired still but that's alright! it's ok to focus on myself!#i'll do the rest when i'm ready. for now this is the next step i choose to take. small steps at a time. that's enough for now.#oh yeah this is the certain peace in myself i feel that makes me perform my best. i feel like myself again right now#n honestly all this keeps on cycling n repeating but it's alright. i learn more each time. n i'll keep on forging ahead unto tomorrow
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Nothing more scary as an adult than having to call out of work for the 2nd or 3rd time this week because your dysautonomia is fuckin with you, making it difficult to think clearly or do anything more taxing than sitting on the couch.
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kyunsies · 2 years
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i just have lots of late night thoughts but i also think we should be more supportive in the tags of cc’s works truly
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bataranqs · 2 years
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5 Happy Things
18/07/2022
1. Skirts!!! Poofy skirts and long skirts and short skirts and mini skirts and skirts connected to dresses and skirts with overall straps and just skirts in general!!! They are so cute and I adore them so much
2. Dogs! Dogs when they get excited and dogs when they get a lil growly but are harmless and dogs when they hop onto things they are Absolutely Not Supposed to Be On and dogs when they lie on cold surfaces bc they are hot and dogs when they lie on you or your bed bc they’re cold! Dogs!
3. The way that the older human beings get the more gentle and forgiving and kind they often become? Like human beings who learn to turn their anger into gentleness and people who turn their jealousy into generosity and people who turn their ignorance into the skill of listening just. People becoming better as they age because they learn more and use what they learned to understand others and be kinder.
4. People who turn bright and smiley when you compliment them! People who are awkward or weirded out when you compliment them! People who immediately compliment you back! People who strike up a conversation when you compliment them! People!!!
5. I got a good grade in driving lessons, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve
#5 happy things#on 3: i know it's not always and we all know PLENTY of adults who Suck etc#but at the same time. idk. i look at my dad who grew up with anger and who became the most gentle and understanding man#bc he INTENTIONALLY worked hard to be over his decades of living and is still working on it!!!#my older sister who knew she was cold to people and studied and practiced her listening skills so now she is the person that#i'm probably most comfortable with talking to about just about anything bc i know she won't judge and she'll answer thoughtfully#who worked for over a DECADE to obtain that skill to listen and respond with kindness and gentleness and understanding#looking at all the people around me who are just. SO cool and amazing and lovely and i know it's bc they put in that time and effort#we were talking about looking at student report cards in class and stuff from kindergarten and how it's stuff like#'sara is good at sharing!' 'nick loves playing with his friends and is very energetic!' 'tom is a very gentle child'#and i'm just like. that's included in a report card! that's something kids are taught and learn and we continue to learn and relearn#i know i know it's sonder and i cannot shut up about sonder#but at the same time it's just so. overwhelming and amazing and beautiful idk. i want to be someone kind really really really#idk if i can but wouldn't it be so nice to be kinder and gentler and understanding and patient and all those good things? i think it must#sometimes i think too hard about being good or my own personality or right and wrong or normal and unique and all those things#and i think i do. REALLY want to learn those things. but if i could just figure out how to make people feel bright and special and loved#wouldn't that be oh so lovely?#like i'm really not a compassionate person at all but i'd like to do it. not as a feeling but as an action right? it's a continual study#i was talking with my friend today and she's a friend who i've been slowly slowly learning to love and i just thought my goodness#i love her so much. she feels easy to love. and i definitely would not have felt that before so i'm just. really grateful to feel that way#bc she is so wonderful!!! and i love her SO much!!! and i love loving her!!! it's such a good feeling#annika rambles in the tags
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hexastitchimera · 12 days
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Genuine observation, no sass and no disrespect, but being someone who is chronically OFFline & an active volunteer/activist for over a decade, and seeing what people say is "crucial discourse" online is... Quite the trip, honestly.
#vee vibrates#I understand that some things are more important to others than they are to me but.#I really need people to understand that sometimes you're better off volunteering at a shelter of ANY kind if you want to commit real change.#Online advocacy is crucial but man am I worried as hell for the kids that don't seem to understand that offline is even moreso.#And being disabled + queer myself I know that it can (and often is) a safety and accessibility issue but zoouniverse.org exists.#That website where you solve history and math quizzes to give rice to impovrished families is online.#Just. Anything that puts this aggressive “”advocacy“” to rest. Ego will be the death of us and we don't need anymore of it.#And if anybody reads this and finds themselves getting upset ask yourself this: Why does this upset me? Do I see myself in this?#Because you'd know that I am speaking out of genuine desperation when I say all of this.#I am not any better than any online activist just because I do a lot of work offline.#I am just so fucking tired of seeing people misdirect their rightful frustrations and fall further prey to the elites' divisive desires.#Is it so much to ask of you all to finally be angry at those who truly make our lives miserable? Or are we just going to keep playing cop?#At the end of the day it's your choice. I cannot force you. However you will grow old one day and look back. Remember that.#I for one don't want to have any regrets about any time I wasted on bigots and trolls and people who have already decided on their opinions.#I want to look back and be grateful for the opportunity to help so many people as many helped me in my direst times of need.#I think that's the difference here. A lot of online folk didn't go through the poverty & severe abuse & bigotry I faced since I was born.#I went through hell and came out kinder in the end because I was at the end of the proverbial whip myself at several points before 16.#But trauma doesn't make you compassionate. You choose to be. And I choose to never repeat the cycle.#The day I do is the day I've lost both my mind and my spirit. I will never repeat my family's & abusers' horrific mistakes.#I will be kinder to a world that needs kindness now more than ever. Even if I scream my throat out forever doing so.#I don't need a voice to be heard.#Anyways sorry. I woke up on the desparate side of the bed. Thank you to all who fight the good fight.#Despite everything I've said I have so much more faith and hope now more than ever. We will prevail.#And thank you if you read all of these tags?? Safety love and solidarity to you you're the MVP. ;_; 💜
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fridayyy-13th · 5 months
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God. what do you do when a lifelong friend just refuses to see any worth in themself or their skills even after you've tried to get them to see it for years. i want to help them but i'm tired. it hurts to see them so flippant about it. i'm angry and sad and nothing i do changes their mind and i feel like i'm running out of options and i'm scared that the only one left will be "leave them." i really don't want it to come to that. they mean a lot to me.
#friday chats#tw vent#feel free to ignore this post btw it's kind of a lot. and then i just keep going off in the tags.#dragged this and the previous tag up here as a barrier so y'all don't have to read the rest if you'd rather not#fucking hell. my day already wasn't great and now i'm crying over how nonchalantly they talk shit about themself#i tell them all the time that i love them and that they're good at what they do. and we have our high points#but then something like this happens and they don't see a thing wrong with how terribly they view themself#they're miserable almost all the time and i want them to feel better but i just don't know what to do anymore#sorry. this is a bit more personal than i usually get on here; even in my few other vent posts#it's just. it's been *years* now. and no matter how i beg them to be kinder to themself it never works#i want them to stop hurting. i want them to be okay.#i want them to stop brushing me off and understand they are *loved* and *talented* and *good* bc every time they don't i wind up like this#listening to angry music until i can think straight again#i muted their message notifs for the evening but looking at what they've sent since; they just. moved right on as if nothing happened.#i'm gonna fucking scream#and yes this post is absolutely tainted by the fact my chest hurts from the strength of ''why can't you understand that YOU HAVE WORTH''#this isn't representative of how they make me feel all the time#but it's like. every month and a half? two months? thereabouts. this same thing happens#and it pisses me off and i don't know what to do
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neverendingford · 8 months
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#tag talk#tumblr university#I put my tumblr degree to good use again today. a kid at work talks a lot about exercise and said an offhand comment about fat people#the usual “why do fat people not control themselves better and eat less?” opinion. which like. he's a cool guy. curious and active and kind#so I did my best to not jump on it sjw-style and kind of go at it slowly but still explain that like. you can't just change your default#culturally we recognize that skinny people have genetics that predispose themselves to being thin.#but then when we (general culture) talk about fat people it's “why don't you exercise more and eat less?” “why don't you control yourself?”#there's a hypocritical shift in how people talk about it.#I was like bro.. I can sit around and do nothing all day and eat my normal amount and not gain weight. my whole family can.#so there's clearly something different between people who weigh 250lb and people who weigh 120lb.#anyway. he kinda nodded and mused over it and asked a few questions and like. idk. this is something I learned on tumblr so it was cool#I like sharing information I learned here. it changed how I view people and I'm honored to be able to make that change in other people#I've learnt to be kinder here and spreading it outside of the isolated tumblr bubble is very fulfilling. passing it forward yaknow?#anyway. I'm still mad about my speech impediment because I deadass still wish I could be a teacher in some way#like. I love teaching people things. evolving someone's ability to interact with information and ideas.#giving someone a set of tools and sitting back to see what they do with them. how they solve a problem. I love it.#and I just. ugh. I love the little moments when I get to teach something I've learned to someone else#OH OH OH! I saw a really good parent today! she brought her daughter up to the self checkout registers and I was like “can I help you?”#but the mom was like “no. I want her to learn how to be a big girl” and so they walked up to the register and the kid scanned her stuff and#and then navigated to the “pay now” button and paused and her mom was like “remember to take your time and read the screen” and the kid fou#found the “cash” button and then fed the five dollar bill in and got her receipt and change and. . that moment made me smile so fucking big#like.... the mom being like “take your time” and just.. being there to show her kid how to do an important life task. I wanted to cry.#I just. idk. stuff like that is beautiful. I love working with people so fucking much.#like. idk. I detach really easily so I don't always care about people and human suffering or all that stuff. but other times?#other times I'm both feet flat on the ground rooted into the heart of everything that makes us beautiful social creatures full of love#and it's so beautiful and I feel so fucking lucky to be allowed to watch that moment.#I just. all I can do is smile and hope that my eyes reflect the magic I just saw#also a hoard of small goth middle schoolers came through garden each with their own succulent. they were lead by an older teen.#it was just. idk. cool. funny. this little posse of piercings and bleached hair and nightmare before christmas merch and intense enby vibes#I always hope I represent a future to kids like that. big obvious scars. heavy queer vibes. and a life I'm obviously living.
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carouselunique · 4 months
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Here you go!
Bonus Explanations for the Elements:
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I treat the Elements as the values being the same throughout it's just how the bearers choose to interpret those values is how they end up being defined. In a sense the original Mane Six and the Swap Six all have similar values but express them somewhat differently.
Roseluck: Element of Inspiration - Rose inspires others to be their best selves, she is inspired to strive toward her dreams through her friendships and wants to pay that forward.
(Element of Generosity - Rarity focuses on what she can give to others while Rose focuses on bringing out what one already has.)
Ditzy Doo: Element of Cheer - Ditzy always delivers a smile, a cheesy mail joke, a wing to lean on, a feathery shoulder to cry on so you can feel better, someone to remember you and make you feel seen etc. She makes others feel lighter and cheerier and that cheer spreads to others in a domino effect!
(Element of Laughter - Ditzy doesn't mainly focus on laughter the way Pinkie does because she believes not everyone needs a laugh to feel cheer. Pinkie is more of a clown type while Ditzy is, well, more of a motherly type)
Sea Swirl: Element of Trust - If you put your trust into Sea, she won't let you down. She is honest sort, even if you sometimes have to take a leap of faith that you aren't sure about at first. Sea will uphold your belief in her with a trustworthiness that makes you want to be someone that others trust as well.
(Element of Honesty - AJ treats her Element as a very literal value while Sea doesn't feel the need to say every true thing outloud, more that you know that she is someone who's words and actions you can inherently trust even if she isn't always literally honest.)
Ginger Gold: Element of Integrity - No matter what ambitions Ginger has, she will always have the integrity to stick by her friends and family and do the right thing. Her integrity and willingness to do what's right by those she cares for no matter what even at the cost of her own goals makes everyone around her a little more honorable in turn.
(Element of Loyalty - It's nearly the same here more just that in my head, Rainbow will be loyal to her friends because they're her friends while Ginger Gold will have integrity because it is something she believes one should just always have and by having that she can be loyal to her friends - not to say one is more noble than the other, that is just how they see it if they're asked to really define it.)
Sunny Rays: Element of Empathy - Sunny is, as her name suggests, as warm as the sun. She is soft and understanding and empathetic and seeing everyone as being worth a chance at being seen and their issues felt allows everyone a kinder view of situations.
(Element of Kindness - Sunny Rays sees empathy as different than kindness, especially as she develops. She can have empathy and not always be kind as someone might see it and someone can be kind but not understand the point of view through an empathetic lens and therefore be kind but not empathetic. Of course it's a struggle to balance how to be kind and empathetic or when kindness has to stop because you know it is hindering your understanding of a situation, etc.)
Minuette: Element of Friendship - Her friendship brought the group together and allowed them to share their best values with each other and her realization that you should make time not just for academic exploration and what we can discover but for the cultivation of emotional and social development and that we need our connections with others to be truly happy helps other realize what truly counts.
(Element of Magic - In my head, Twilight calls it Magic because she believes that Friendship is a form of Magic a flaw that shows up in the later seasons where friendship is treated as something inherent and almost religious in a sense? At least to me? While Minuette believes that the Magic comes second to the Friendship and can only occur if one works on Friendship and treats the Magic of Friendship as something you work at and feel more than it is literal magic.)
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winterspellsfrozenkit · 5 months
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Maomao's Dislike of Jinshi
So I've been watching Apothecary Diaries and I think people are missing out on the root cause of why Maomao doesn't like Jinshi's interactions with her. It's not because he's too pretty, of high standing, or because she thinks he's annoying/etc., as they're just parts that make up the actual root cause. It's because she knows he's being fake.
Jinshi, because of who he is, where he lives, and how he was raised, covers up his true intentions almost constantly. That was how he trapped Maomao and singled her out as the one who warned Concubine Gyokuyou, after all. The premise to get all the servants in the room, the note telling her to stay put, and making her come with him without telling her where they were going? He let her worry that she was in trouble, so to keep her off-balance when he introduced her to Gyokuyou and also had kept her note to keep her pinned in a corner so she would have to comply with what he and Gyokuyou wanted.
Maomao prefers working with honest people. It's why she never wanted to ascend into the ranks where court politics were a constant presence, because in court politics, you have to assume most people are lying to you on some level. That's why she likes Gyokuyou; Gyokuyou has a similar mentality about the importance of honesty in the people around her and she reciprocates that honesty with the select people she lets her walls down around. When Jinshi is flirting or being super sweet to someone, Maomao knows he's often not being sincere, so when he flirts or acts all sweet with her, she's not going to believe in the sincerity of it because it's dangerous for her if he's not being sincere.
In Maomao's world, a man who makes false promises will not have severe consequences for his actions, unlike the women who fall for them. Growing up where she did and doing the work she did, Maomao knows exactly what kind of damage someone else's lies can bring to someone else who got caught in them. Maomao is not blind to the ugly truths of the world around her, unlike many her age, so interacting with Jinshi, someone who is usually some level of false in almost every encounter with her, is frustrating to her and he won't leave her alone. Lies are a form of poison themselves as they deteriorate a person's life and relationships and if not caught, can lead someone to their death or a fate akin to death, but unlike physical toxins, Maomao can't fix any damage from that kind of societal poison. As someone who wants a lowkey and unremarkable life because it's more peaceful, Jinshi could damage her goals with his falsehoods if she falls for any of them.
And we see that when Jinshi is actually honest about himself and his feelings with her, she treats him better. When he gives her his hairpin, when he's hugging her and crying because of what happened with Ah-Duo, and when he's at the Verdigris House, drowning his sorrows over letting Maomao go from the Rear Palace, Maomao is kinder to him and doesn't look at him with the immediate disdain and suspicion she often throws his way. Maomao even states she prefers the Jinshi, who is more childlike and bratty, which is something we see Gaoshun constantly discourage when Jinshi has those moments where his mask breaks. But in those moments, he's being honest.
For the position of Maomao's love interest, Jinshi's already got one foot ahead of any other guy around Maomao, as he is willing to let Maomao have more freedom in her special interests and gives her things and access to areas that play into her interests, like her dad does, which is more than most men in her society would ever allow. The only reason he actively goes against her toying with poison is he knows exactly what she's going to do with the poisons. But his main hinderance to getting Maomao to like him back is the training of being two-faced that's been ingrained into him for his survival in court. If he was more honest with her, rather than hiding himself under the veneer of a pretty man who is sweet, gets along with everyone, and keeps his knowledge close to the chest, he'd do so much better in earning Maomao's respect and affection.
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hightowered · 2 months
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and you know i gotta say. the vast majority of the people losing their shit this weekend made it very clear that they do not understand the difference between "artists who want a measure of comfort in their lives" and "the billionaires actually being targeted by phrases like eat the rich." that is such a weird thing to be so proud to announce to the whole entire internet.
it's also extremely weird to behave as though any individual is entitled to an artist's work for free. or that the audience should be the final say in determining what an artist creates. there is a major difference between the betrayal of an artist who produces art and then banks on their social capital to engage in harmful, violent, bigoted behavior (like jk rowling) and the "betrayal" of an artist who decides that they should be or need to be compensated for their work. the latter isn't actually a betrayal at all. it's just a shift.
the thing is that the watcher boys didn't invent capitalism, they didn't invent the streaming model, they didn't invent youtube or patreon. they aren't getting 100% of the money from either. their merch doesn't magically appear as if made by elves while they sleep. their videos don't happen out of nowhere and without incurring bills. they have a business which employs people, and sure, you can say they employ too many people, but do they actually? a bunch of randos on the internet don't actually know that. they don't know these job titles, or how necessary it is to have everyone there. it's pure speculation. the entire company exists within a system they did not invent and are trying to stay afloat in said system while a bunch of assholes on the internet berate them for not acquiescing to their every whim at the expense of their artistic integrity, their ability to compensate their staff fairly, and their ability to keep making art.
and jumping from "i want to continue enjoying this artist's work for free" to "i think people should be fired and the remaining employees should be given greater responsibilities and more tasks to complete" is wild to me. there's nothing leftist in that and so trying to leverage leftist jargon to prove some sort of moral superiority is fucking wild, it's disingenuous, and it's sketchy as hell. you're allowed to be disappointed. you're not magically exempt from being told you're being an asshole if you decide your disappointment entitles you to take part in asshole behavior.
"but we don't want something heavily produced and we don't want these shows" then don't watch! that's it! don't watch! you are not being held hostage and forced to engage with this content. you have the choice not to. throwing a tantrum and launching racist vitriol at steven lim and demanding he step down as CEO shows a level of entitlement and childishness that, frankly, i wish they could have ignored, but they're both kinder & more patient than i am.
anyway congratulations to watcher on their new streaming service and their gorgeous new website, congratulations to the boys on a new step in their careers and on achieving something they've made clear they've wanted for ages, thank you to the boys for all their hard work and for sharing their creativity with us. thank you too for taking such a big and genuinely brave step to no longer be beholden to major corporations and advertisers so you can make the art you want to make. thank you to steven lim for taking so many steps back to keep the company running and for doing your best in a shit economy and while being targeted by this kind of nastiness online. and thank you to the entire team at @wearewatcher for continuing to do amazing work despite being treated like shit by the fan community at large on the internet while you're trying to make a living and create art. you all deserve better than you've been shown of late and i hate that such an exciting moment got overshadowed by so many temper tantrums.
because the whole fucking point, the dream, is getting to make the art that matters to them, without being held back. i'm sorry y'all don't want the heavily produced and high quality shit but your preferences as a member of an audience are not the law by which artists should abide. they are artists and they are free to, and deserve to, make the art they want to make.
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marvelouslizzie · 11 months
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You're Stuck with Me - Co-written with @notafunkiller
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Summary: When you find out your boyfriend's cheating on you with his best friend, you immediately tell Bucky Barnes about the affair and propose revenge sex.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: 6.9K
Warnings: 18+ smut, cheating, revenge fuck, language, oral sex (female receiving), protected and unprotected sex, praise and degradation mix, pet names, teasing, no mention of y/n
A/n: We are getting a little out of our comfort zone with this story. I hope you will enjoy it.
Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's an amazing writer. You should definitely check her Bucky Barnes stories.
All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.
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"Are you sure?" Bucky asks, finishing your bottle of sparkling water. "I don't want you to cry and regret it after."
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” You sound so confident that even you are surprised. “It’s just sex.”
"Just sex." He repeats with his eyebrows raised. "You never seemed to me like the type of girl who would go for just sex, doll."
“Maybe you should’ve paid a little more attention. You would’ve realized you might have the wrong kind of impression.”
"Oh, really?" He leans in amused. "Big words."
“They're not. You just aren’t used to talking to me.”
"You're telling me you're not a commitment girl?" He presses the matter, not believing you even a little. You two might not be friends, but he figured out what type of person you are.
“I’m just saying I won’t regret having sex with you. The rest is your assumption.”
His gaze immediately drops to your chest. "You trust my skills that much?"
You roll your eyes. “Do you have to be this arrogant all the time?”
"Do you have to be a brat all the time?" He doesn't wait for your response, though, as he continues. "Oh wait, you can't help it. Totally in your nature."
“So women who don't stroke your ego are brats? Maybe I just don’t care that much about you. Did you consider that?” There’s a hint of anger in your voice but nothing more. He always manages to challenge you and push your buttons. “Maybe you aren’t the only one who didn’t like those double dates. Get off your high horse.” You add without missing a beat. You realized how bored and uninterested he was then. No matter what topic you were bringing up, he wasn’t open. That’s one of the reasons why you believe he thinks he’s better than anyone.
"Fuck." He shakes his head. "You and that mouth of yours. Do you see me going around and calling women brats?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer. “Those dates were absolutely horrible. Your little boy toy is the biggest loser I've ever met."
“You seem like a guy who would do that. You are not? Ops, wrong assumption I guess.” You make a fake I am sorry face. “He’s not my boy toy but I agree, he’s a big loser.”
He smiles when you finish your sentence, so satisfied. "Why do you enjoy pushing me so much? Does it turn you on?"
“How am I pushing you? Do you think this is pushing?” You don’t budge.
"What is it then?"
“I know you don’t like me and I am just giving you back that same energy.” You tell him the truth. That’s what you always do: you give the same energy people give you. If they are kind, you are kinder. If they are assholes, you are a bigger asshole.
Bucky snorts, running a hand through his hair. "Where was this attitude hidden around him?"
You breathe out loudly, not hiding how bored you are. “Are we gonna talk all night or are we gonna do this?”
He smiles in a way you never saw him smile before he leans in even more, invading your space. "It's been that long, huh?"
You make a face. “You can’t tell me sex with her was great. I saw their little sex tapes.” You can’t deny what he’s just said, but you can deflect.
He gives you the most surprised face. "What?"
“You heard me. If it had been a while for me, then it must have been even longer for you.”
"Indeed." His voice doesn't betray any emotion.
“Then stop belittling me. We both have been having bad sex and we both got cheated on. You aren’t better than me.”
"When did I say that, woman?"
“You always act like you are better than everyone.”
"That's just your assumption." He paraphrases you with the biggest smile on his face
“Prove me wrong then.”
And he does, looking at you for a couple of seconds. When you don't move, he finally grabs you by your chin and kisses you. He's not hesitant or testing, he's literally trying to claim your mouth as he wants to deepen the kiss by licking your bottom lip. When you finally give him access, his hand goes to the back of your neck, the contrast between his soft touch and his passionate way of kissing making you moan.
"Your mouth…"
“What about it?” You ask while still looking at his lips.
He kisses you again, like he's starved, his hand pulling your hair a little more. He tastes like some fresh toothpaste and a little chocolate.
"So sweet, yet so bratty."
“Do you have a thing for brats for something?” You pull him by his collar and kiss him again. He might be an asshole, but he knows how to kiss.
"Maybe just for a special brat."
“What does that mean?” You stop and look into his eyes.
He lets go of your hair and lowers his hands to your waist. "Tell me to stop and I will. Tap me anywhere if you can't talk and I'll stop. Get it?"
“Yeah. Same goes for you. Any lines you don’t wanna cross?”
"Just don't call me by someone else's name." He sighs.
“Fine by me. Don’t use any pet names you used for your ex.”
"I wouldn’t dream of it. What else?" He smirks.
“No degrading.”
"So no my little whore?”
“That doesn’t sound like degrading to me but another rule: Don’t say things you don’t mean. I don’t like that heat-of-the-moment bullshit.”
He seems to like your rules. "God, how did you date that asshole for 5 months?"
“I was just giving that so-called nice guy a chance and it got me here. How did you date that bitch for 8 months?”
"Woah. Bitch? Never heard you referring to a woman like this."
“I never liked her.” You shrug. And she cheated on him. So why not?
"Why?"
“I don’t know. I always thought she was full of herself. Always looking down at people.”
"Like me." He stares at you. "I understand."
“Not like that. She always talks badly about people. Most of the time, behind their backs. She always looks for a way to steal the spotlight. I actually wondered what you saw in her.”
"I won't talk about a woman badly, especially my ex, but I guess we just want to give people a chance."
“That woman cheated on you. With someone she called her best friend after you two decided to move in together. Maybe longer. But sure, make me feel bad about calling her a bitch.”
Bucky seems to think about it for a few seconds. You appreciate his non-talking shit about my ex policy, but in this case? Not deserved. They cheated on you for months. They could have chosen to break up, but they didn't want that. They pretended they are just friends, proposed double dates, lied and hid, and made promises. Your relationships weren't working perfectly well, your sex lives seem very shitty and probably there were signs about this affair, but you cannot blame yourself or Bucky for not seeing them. You deserved the truth. You just can't believe you two are actually in this situation. Giving the wrong people a chance… never again for sure.
"You're right. This is such a fucking shitty thing. I mean, at least fucking break up with me. God, we kissed them, fucked them after they were with each other." He makes a disgusted face.
“So we practically fucked each other already, you know?” You make a joke, trying to change the mood a little. It really is fucked up.
"They didn't see us having sex though." He shakes his head. "They managed to make the lamest sex tapes in history."
“Yeah, I am still traumatized by her fake moans.”
"Fake?" He snorts.
“Yeah, I know how sex is with him. No way those moans are real.”
"Maybe they are. Maybe she enjoys it. She likes him so much they decided this fucking shitty sex is worth it." He leans in and kisses you again suddenly and you don't understand if he's angry because he regrets being with her and getting cheated on or he regrets being betrayed because he wants her so much. You know they fought a lot from your soon-to-be ex, but 8 months are something after all.
You kiss him back nonetheless, enjoying the way his lips and tongue feel. You don't remember the last time you've been kissed this good. If you've ever been with someone like this… he's basically eating you with his mouth.
“It won’t take long for her to regret it. Talking from experience,” you say while kissing him back. You wanna know if he wants her back or not. Not that it matters. You are just curious. Maybe he wants to make her jealous.
"What she wants doesn't matter anymore, doll." He strokes your hair when he stops kissing you so you can take a deep breath. "You called me arrogant, right?"
“Yeah?” You answer hesitantly.
"Do arrogant people ever let themselves be humiliated?" He pauses. "I don't want something like this. Someone like this. I have absolutely no desire to keep a person who does this. I am a patient person, I try to work things out, but this? Never in a fucking million years. Nothing about this relationship was right, I suppose. What about you?"
“I don’t care about him anymore.” Your response comes immediately. You were completely done with him the moment you found out about their affair. There’s no turning back. It was like a switch. That’s why you are here with Bucky. “I tried so hard to make it work, thinking relationships are hard and we gotta put some effort to make it work. All bullshit. I’m done with him. I’m done with lowering my standards. Done with 5-minute sex, and ‘you turn me on so much, I can’t help it’ excuses. There’s no going back for me.”
You see his little smirk and can't help but touch his face. He is really one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen.
"I never liked him, and you know it. That small dick energy is unbearable. I think he'd have a heart attack if he even heard us. Can you imagine?"
“I… actually can.” You can envision how that would hurt him and his insufferable ego. “God, she would hate me so much.” You smile.
"Oh, she would. She's always been jealous of you anyway."
“And he hates that you don’t even have to be nice to make people like you. Now he would have an extra reason.”
"Fuck, doll." You feel his thumb on your neck and you shiver. "I'm gonna sound crazy, but wouldn't make you feel satisfied if indeed they heard us?"
You blink, trying to understand his offer. That actually would actually give you pleasure… knowing that he suffers just like you did. You also notice the pet name he uses. You never heard him use it with his (ex) girlfriend, so he’s keeping his promise. “I’d… really like that.”
"Yeah?" He leaves a kiss on the corner of your mouth. "A voice message?"
“Sounds better than actually calling.” You turn your face a little and kiss him on the lips.
"Look at you, you ignored me for months." He bites your bottom lip lightly.
“It wasn’t like you were friendly.”
Does he even hear you?
He takes you in his arms. "Bedroom?"
“Bedroom.” You wrap your legs around his torso in agreement as he leads the way.
"Left?"
“Yeah, hurry up.”
He opens the door with his elbow, then doesn't bother to close it as he lets you down. His hands find your blouse and you hear the ripping sound before you can raise your arms.
You’re surprised but not bothered. Truth be told, you find that very hot. But you still unclip your bra.
“Fucking hell.” He manages to whisper before he leans in and grabs your breasts, his tongue licking all the way down from your neck to your nipple.
You tug on his T-shirt and try to take it off while he’s busy exploring your body.
"You hid these from me."
“Not specifically from you. Move your hands up so I can take this off.”
"From who then?" He frowns and lets go for a second so you can take it off.
“From everyone, of course.”
"God, I wanna come all over them. So pretty.”
“Maybe you should make a mental list. Come on her tits. Come inside her mouth. Come inside her pussy.”
His eyes glow, and you giggle. "Who said I didn't?"
“You did?” You sound impressed. “Wanna share?”
"Wanna share my come? Sure." His fingers find your zipper and you gasp when he takes your pants off from one try.
“Oh, you are filthier than I thought.” You say to cover your surprise.
"You thought about how filthy I am?"
“You think I didn’t consider how this would be before offering a revenge fuck?”
"When?" He takes ahold of your underwear, and you're unsure if he wants to rip it off or simply take it off.
“I just told you.”
"I thought…" He blushes, realizing he misunderstood. It's an asshole move to assume that while you were with that prick, the thought of him like this has even passed your mind. "Forget it."
“No, no, tell me.” You pull him closer by his belt. “Let’s get rid of these.”
"Did you ever think about me before today?" He helps you take off his pants while finally getting rid of your panties.
“What if I did? Does it make me a terrible person?”
"Terrible." He nods, letting the pieces of your underwear drop on the floor along with his boxers and pants before he steps out of them. "So terrible." He kisses you, his hands on your hips, bringing you closer to his cock. You didn't even have proper time to look at him. "The worst."
“I knew it.” You play along. “What about you?”
"I thought about this mouth a lot."
“Just my mouth?” You nudge him by moving your hips up.
"Thought about fucking you in the bathroom."
“When?” Did he really want to fuck you before? He never looked at you twice or at least that’s what you thought.
"A few weeks ago… we… the office. You were with your little group. They were smoking and you wore that fucking lipstick that just blew my mind away. I didn't intend to. You didn't even notice me." He kisses you again but doesn't deepen it.
Everything he said takes you by surprise. You didn’t think that he ever paid attention to you, let alone notice your lipstick and get turned on by it.
“I noticed you, but I thought you were bored. You had a grumpy look on your face most of the time. I liked your blue shirt, though. It makes your eyes pop.”
He moans. Is it so easy to make him moan? you wonder.
"I'm always grumpy and arrogant, of course."
“You don’t seem that grumpy and arrogant right now.” You gently bite his neck and then soothe the spot with your tongue.
"Fucking hell, woman." You feel him grabbing your ass. "Tell me you have a condom."
“In that drawer.” You point to it casually. “But just so you know, I’m on the pills.”
He nods, contemplating for a little while before helping you get on bed and taking a condom from your nightstand.
You don’t question why he chooses to reach for it, yet you can’t help but wonder how it would be like to feel him without any barrier. Your mouth waters at the sight of his naked body.
Maybe, maybe you should let him fuck your mouth, too. Why not?
He quickly puts the condom on and before he can climb on bed, he looks at you. "What you said earlier about the voice message, do you still stand by it?"
You realize you actually forgot about them or why you are doing this for a second. “Yeah. I want them to suffer.”
"Good." He takes his pants from the floor and finds his phone quickly. You didn't even realize he had it when you undressed him.
“So what are we doing exactly? Recording a small part and sending it?”
"Ihm." He nods. "Want that asshole to hear what your real moans sound like." He finally sits on the bed and you spread your legs further apart.
“Only my moans?” You ask while he positions himself.
"No video," he says immediately, and you giggle. That wasn’t your question, but it’s okay. You wonder if he’s being possessive with you already or it's something else.
“I meant what about your moans.”
He smiles. "Yeah, of course, but I'm not a loud person." He drops the phone close to your shoulder. "You, on the other hand… I bet you're a fucking screamer."
“I guess we'll find out. Is it recording already?”
"No, uhm, can you… The code is 0478."
“Let’s start and then we can record when it gets really loud.” You try to sound normal, but you are surprised he's just told you his passcode.
"You sure? We can trim it. I don't want to interrupt you."
"Don't worry. I'm good at multitasking." You give him a smile. "But if you wanna record the whole thing, so you can get off to it later, just say that." You can’t help but tease him a little.
"No, no, it's alright. I just want you to feel good, okay?" He smiles, his hands making their way to your thighs.
"Oh, I will. Don't worry about that." You pull him closer by wrapping your legs around his body. As he pushes inside, you start to forget what you were talking about before.
"Oh, fuck me." He groans when he sees the shape of your mouth. Such a perfect O. You feel so good and he's not even halfway inside you. "You're so wet."
"I can do that." You cheekily respond. "But we would need to change the position." You ignore his second comment.
He kisses you as if he needs to taste you again to be able to breathe, his tongue quickly finding yours once you open your mouth. Your hand gets into his hair at the same time he properly gets inside you.
You moan at the fullness. You haven't felt this stretched for so long, but it doesn't hurt. It just makes you crave more.
"Such a brat when you only needed a good cock." You know he's intentionally teasing you, so you try to find a good response.
"We'll see how good it is."
"Brat." He repeats again and moves his hands to your breast. His thrusts are not constant as he tries to test what you like.
"Put your mouth on them already." You know he wants to. He has been looking at them since he stepped inside your apartment. And you want him to do it, too. The thought itself makes you moan.
"Are you ordering me?"
"Depends. Yes, if you like that. No, if you don't."
He takes a handful of your breast in his mouth in response, not only your nipple, his thrusts getting slower, but a little deeper at the same time. The sound of his tongue licking on your skin makes you close your eyes.
The way he sucks your nipple makes you think he likes taking orders. What a great turn of events, you think.
He switches to the other one quickly, giving it the same treatment, while keeping the pace.
"Do you like it?"
“Yeah, yeah.” You quickly respond. “I love it.”
"Faster?"
“Yep, faster.” You gently push his head onto your breast again, loving the double stimulation.
He moans excitedly as he resumes licking and playing with your breasts, carefully trying to leave a hickey around your nipple. "These are mine now."
He doesn’t mean that, does he? Must be the heat of the moment, but you agreed on not doing that. So you decide to remind him. “Don’t say things you don’t actually mean, remember?”
"I didn't forget, brat. Did you?"
He bites on your nipple, gently, but you still feel it.
“So you actually mean that?” You really want to know, so you ignore the fact that he called you a brat again.
"Mean what?" He leaves a kiss on your nipple to soothe any possible pain. "That these are mine?"
“Yeah.” You sound impatient. Why is he acting clueless now?
"They are, they belong to me. So does your bratty mouth." He kisses you shortly.
You can’t deny how his words turn you on even more.
"I imagined fucking you in a bathroom that day at the office." He groans. "So terrible of me, right? Imagining you with come dripping out of you, down to your thighs as you go back to work. Months of petty silence solved."
“If I'd known my silence bothered you that much, I would have been even more silent until it drove you crazy enough to do something about it.” You move your hips up to match his rhythm. “I just thought you just preferred not speaking to me because you didn’t like me.”
"I would have screwed everything up and fucked you, you understand?" He looks you in the eye, making it clear he is honest. "I would have become a horrible person, but not even that thought would have made me reconsider."
“Yet you didn’t do anything, did you? You never acted on it. You were just a grumpy man with terrible thoughts.” You just want him to know he’s not a horrible person, yet you can’t help but tease him a little at the same time.
"And you just needed the cock of that grumpy man with terrible thoughts, huh?" His thrusts are so much faster now. You wonder: how the fuck does he expect you to answer?
All you can do is whine and moan because somehow he manages to hit all the right places.
"My little cock whore." He groans. "Mine, okay? Just like I am yours."
“Jesus fucking Christ.” You can’t help but react. You find it so hot you can barely stay still. The way he talks during sex… They would really die if they heard you two. That makes you remember… You were supposed to hit the record button.
"Just Bucky. Or James."
“Where the fuck is your phone, Bucky?” You ask while trying to find it without actually looking.
He's confused for a split second, but then he remembers what you agreed on. "To your right."
You finally find the phone and unlock it quickly before dropping it without any care as soon as it starts to record.
"Oh, doll, you're too wet for me. So good." The sound of your skin slapping and the whimpers are so loud. You can’t contain yourself even if you try.
“Faster, please,” you say without thinking. It feels like you are already close. You don’t care if you have to beg for it.
"So greedy." He cries out when he feels your hands on his ass, pulling him deeper inside you.
“Fuckk. That feels good!” You moan loudly and arch your back.
"Holy shit."
He suddenly stops, making you open your eyes and giving him an accusatory look, but then you notice the phone in his hands. Oh, you forgot about it for a second and you have no idea why.
"Are you sending it?"
"Ihm." He doesn't just lock his phone after he is done. He freaking turns it off, surprising you. “I don’t want any interruptions. Want to fuck you in peace.”
You just pull him into another kiss, more passionate this time. You feel his right hand on your tummy, tickling you a little, before stopping down, above your clit.
“You close?” You ask him to make sure because you surely are.
"I'm trying not to come," he says honestly.
“Oh, you can. I’m close, too. I just need it a little faster.” His hand on your clit already makes you realize it won’t take much for you to fall apart.
He pulls back, taking his cock almost completely out, and the emptiness makes you whine. Then he thrusts with full force, making you moan so loudly that you can’t recognize your own voice.
"Fuck, look at you. And those sounds…" He brings his thumb to your lips. "Come on, be a good girl and show me how your pretty little mouth would take my cock. The one that's inside your pussy right now, ready to come for you."
“Such a filthy mouth.” You say while moaning. “Come with me so I can take that cock inside my mouth and show you what it can do.”
"God, come, baby. Please come." He is begging you at this point. His voice is so desperate and soft.
His neediness, the way he says those words finally pushes you off the edge.
“Oh god.” You try to breathe as the orgasm takes over your body, making you shake. Your mouth opens, letting out the most unfiltered moan you've ever heard from yourself. It is pure pleasure with no thoughts, no worries. Your heart and your head are on fire, begging for more. You want this feeling to last as long as possible.
He comes shortly after you, but you don't realize it until you hear his loud groan vibrating against your chest. His hips and ass cheeks are trembling under your touch as he seems lost in his world for a few seconds. You run your fingers through his hair, waiting for him to come down from his high.
“Oh god, baby." You feel his breath on your wet skin and you sigh. "Can I live here forever?"
“That good?” You can’t help but ask. He can feel your smile without looking at you.
He looks up. "Ihm. What about you?"
“Wanna get your ego stroked?” You ask genuinely. “Promise that you’re not gonna use it against me.”
He kisses your throat. "I don't make such promises, woman."
“Then you won’t get to hear it.” You expose your throat more while talking.
"What if I eat the truth out of you?"
“Eat the truth out of me?”
"Ihm. You know… when you're under sex spell, you become truthful."
“You are welcome to try.” There’s no way you are gonna turn down another orgasm like this one.
"Perfect." He leaves another kiss on the valley between your breasts and sighs. "Have to take this off first," he says, taking his cock out with a small hiss before standing up near the bed, watching you. "Where can I throw this away?"
“There’s a trashcan in the bathroom.” You point at it while getting more comfortable on the bed.
"Be right back."
You feel something cold on your back and realize it’s his phone. You put it on the nightstand, thinking about how he turned his phone off in the middle of the sex. You make a mental note to ask him to send you that voice message later, so you can remember how good the sex felt.
He comes back with your small semi-wet towel and watches you carefully. "Look, I meant what I said about eating the truth out of you, but only if you are okay with it. I won't ask again. I could always just leave, you know? No big deal." But you can see in his face it would be a big deal. Maybe he likes your company. The sex is amazing.
“Do you wanna leave, Bucky?” You already know his answer.
"No, I don't."
“Then come here and do whatever you wanna do.”
He doesn't need to be told twice. You watch him drop to his knees and, at the same time, drag you closer to the edge of the bed as quickly as he can. You let out a surprised gasp, but it turns into a whole moan when he lifts your legs on his shoulders and starts licking you from your entrance to your clit.
“Fuck, you weren’t joking.”
He acknowledges your words by playing with his tongue around your clit. You move your hips slowly, up and down, just to create a little more friction. Your greed grows while you watch him eagerly lick every bit of your pussy.
You don't expect to feel his fingers at your entrance all of the sudden as you're focused on his tongue. And you especially don't expect him to curl two of his fingers and get them inside you at once. No warnings.
“Oh fuck, yes!” You find yourself grabbing his hair, just needing something to hold on to.
And he moans, buckling his hips in the air at the slight pain. The pace of his fingers matches his tongue, but it's not enough.
“Add the third finger.” You sound desperately close.
He is surprised, you can sense it, but he quickly does what you say, his tongue eagerly toying with your clit faster than before.
“I’m so close!” You warn.
He stops licking for a little and you try to move your hips to meet his mouth. What the fuck is he doing? No time for edging.
"What were you gonna say, doll? What did you think it would stroke my ego?"
“What?” You raise on your elbows, looking like a mess. “Really?”
"If you want my tongue, you give me an answer."
“You are unbelievable!” You sound so betrayed.
"I warned you not to cry, doll."
You really want to keep that thought to yourself, but the ache between your legs doesn’t care about your pride. “I can’t believe you are doing this right now.”
He gives you a small smile, and you see him leaning in again. You think you won, getting more comfortable, ready to come soon, but he only licks you twice, teasingly, and lets your clit go.
"Do what?"
You whine loudly. The feeling of his tongue lingers on your clit. “You wanna play dirty?” Maybe you can’t win this fight, but it doesn’t mean you can’t win others. “Fine.” You sit up a little, looking into his eyes. “It was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. Happy now?”
"Delighted. Now was it so hard? You get a reward for being my good and honest girl."
“Yeah, whatever.” You roll your eyes.
"Fucking brat," you hear him whisper right before his tongue finds your clit again, finally licking it in circles properly. He starts to move his fingers, too, and even though they are obviously not even close to the thickness of his cock, they feel incredible.
But you are too annoyed now, at the same time. A part of you just wants to hold back and not give him the pleasure of hearing you come. So he tries harder. You hear him whimpering as he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking on it. And you swallow a moan while your legs are trembling.
"Come on, baby." His fingers move faster, too. "Let it go."
Your whole body starts to shake uncontrollably, but you keep your moans to yourself, pressing your lips together tightly just out of spite. You can see he hates it, but he doesn't stop until you finish coming. And it feels amazing, but you are sure it would have been even better if you had let yourself enjoy it freely.
He sighs into your clit and leaves a kiss there before he stands up. "You're mad."
“No shit, Sherlock.”
"Ah, doll. Nothing can tame that mouth."
“More like actions and consequences. I wasn’t ready to share that, but you forced me to say it for an orgasm, so that’s what you get. An orgasm. Nothing more, nothing less.”
"Forced?" His face shows concern as he sits next to you. "That wasn’t my intention. The last thing I want is to make you feel trapped.” He seems like he’s confused. He looks around and meets your gaze again. “Do you want me to leave?"
“If you wanna leave, just leave, but if that wasn’t really your intention, you can start with apologizing.”
"I am sorry," he immediately says, taking your hands into his. "I was just trying to… be silly I guess."
“You wanted your ego stroked, I get it. We both need it after what happened, but… I don’t know. I just felt exposed.”
"I'm sorry." He kisses your cheek. "I might be a grumpy arrogant son of a bitch, but forcing…"
You start to tear up, hearing him say sorry this quickly. Fucking relationship trauma.
"Oh god, baby, I am sorry, I didn't…" he tries to wipe your tears with his thumbs. "I'm a jackass, but I swear I wasn't trying to force you. I thought it was just a game. My bad."
“No, no. This is on me. Sorry.” You try to take a deep breath. “He just never said sorry no matter how hurt I was. He always had an excuse. This is just… trauma I guess.”
"What a fucking douchebag. I can fuck him up really good, you know?" He suggests. "Just say the words."
“He’s probably already fucked up by the fact that we are fucking.” That thought cheers you up a little.
"His face deserves it, too." Bucky puffs and kisses your wet cheeks. "To be honest, this whole should I leave question comes from my relationship trauma, too. So you’re not alone. She either wanted me to leave or she left every fucking time we disagreed on something. She once threw my shoes out of the window just so I'd go. I don't know why we kept trying…"
“Oh.” You finally understand why he keeps offering to leave. It isn't about you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought you were just trying to get out when things get hard.”
"Don't be sorry. I prefer to talk on the spot, to be honest. Letting everything out is healthier. Don't "
“Or take a break whenever it’s needed. Doesn’t mean you have to leave though.”
"Yeah! Exactly."
You laugh a little. You never realized how similar you two are. Today is changing your perspective completely. “Your apology is accepted by the way, but under one condition.”
"What is that?'
“Tell me something about yourself that you don’t want me to know.”
He thinks for a second. "My breath smells like death in the morning. I can make your plants die if you let me."
You shake your head, amused. “That’s not good enough. Everyone’s breath smells bad in the morning.”
"What do you wanna know then?"
“Something on the same level of having your best orgasm.”
"I think you broke me."
“What?”
"You broke me." He repeats as if that is an explanation.
“In what way?”
He kisses you just as desperately as he did in the kitchen, as if this is the first time he kisses you and he can't ever get enough. "I want you for more than one time, do you understand?"
“Oh. Well… That can be arranged.”
"Yeah?" He drags you by your hips, placing you on top of his thighs.
“I would actually like that.”
He kisses you some more, letting his hands wander all over your body, stopping especially on your neck and breasts.
"You like it rough, don't you? Not complaining about me ripping your clothes off, loving the bites." He pulls your hair, just to prove his point in case you deny. You moan.
“Yeah, apparently you like it rough, too.” You don’t deny. Why would you?
"Of course I do, brat." He then turns you around suddenly. "All fours, please."
“Since you asked so nicely,” You stop for the dramatic effect and say as sarcastically as possible: “Boss.”
"Wanna make me your boss?"
“You are already acting like one.” You stand on all fours, pushing your ass back while lowering your head.
"Fuck! You're such a sight, you know?" Bucky's eyes don't leave your body.
“Am I?”
"I wanna look at you like this all day long."
You look at him amused. “I’m afraid I don’t have that much patience.”
You notice him shaking his head. "Of course."
“It’s rude to make me wait like this, you know?”
"Sorry, just wanted to remember this." Bucky feels a little bad for the thoughts he has. He mentally took a picture of you cause he can't ask this from you, right? You're not a couple, and even if you were, it doesn't mean exchanging or keeping photos like this would be okay.
His hips touch your ass as he positions himself at your entrance. "Any limits that come to your mind? I won't ask again."
“We already decided on the rules. I don’t think there’s anything besides them.”
"I'm not gonna hold back this time." Not completely… he grabs a handful of your hair as he thrusts inside you. "I'm gonna pound the fuck out of you and you're gonna take it like a good little girl, understand?"
“I understand. You won’t stop until I say stop.”
"Jesus Christ." He moans halfway inside you at the feel of your extra wet pussy. He feels out of breath just by standing still. "How…"
“Oh, fuck.” You nearly choke. It feels unbelievably good. This position is doing wonders.
"I didn't think-" he says, but at the same time doesn't move an inch. "Fuck, it feels too good, this pussy is driving me crazy. You are driving me crazy." He grips your hair harder without warning and starts to thrusts properly inside you, making sure to squeeze your left breast with his free. The sounds of your wet skin slapping make him curse under his breath.
“You didn’t think what?” You sound out of breath already.
"I cannot fuck you with condoms again." Technically he can, but he doesn’t want to.
You smile widely. “Why is that?”
"Because I am completely fucked."
“You like it that much?”
"Like it?" He puffs, unamused, and starts to finally pound you the way he imagined a few weeks ago. Maybe even harder.
“Oh, fuck!” Yep, he’s right. You are fucked, too.
"You might need to fix me very often, you know?" He drops his hand from your hair just to properly grab your hips. You can barely keep your position like this, his thrusts are so deep.
“Fix you?”
"Yeah. Fix my cock." Oh, that’s what he means.
“We can fix each other then.”
"Ihm." He doesn't say much after this, too focused on kissing your back and keeping the pace at the same time. He's ready to come any minute.
“Harder, Bucky. Please!” You need to come. Really desperately.
"How much harder?" He thrusts a little harder. "More or like this?"
“As hard as you can.”
He doesn't disagree with you, but you know he's holding back even when he pushes harder. And harder. And harder.
"I'm gonna come," he manages to moan. "Fuck I'm gonna come inside you, gonna make a mess. Tell me you… t-tell me you want my come."
“I want your come, Bucky, please. p Please, come with me!” You are already shaking uncontrollably.
"Fuck." That's all you get from him before he's coming, his fingers digging so hard into your skin that you moan again, dizzy from your orgasm.
He keeps moving, making a mess, indeed. It’s already dripping out, you can feel it.
"I came so much." You hear him say suddenly through fogginess.
You smile, resting your head on the bed still, feeling unable to move.
"Not gonna say anything?"
“I died and went to heaven.” You murmur. The orgasm is still running through your veins, making you twitch here and there.
"I've been in heaven for a while."
You finally turn around and look at him. “It was so fucking good.”
"No words." He slowly gets out of you and you notice how happy he is, not taking his eyes off your pussy. "It's gonna start dripping… all over your thighs and sheets. What a nice mark." He even brings a finger to your entrance and pushes back some come.
“Do you have a breeding kink or something?” You smile while asking.
"A breeding kink?"
“Yeah, do you know what it is?”
"Something to do with my come inside you?" He teases. His confusion seems to fade away.
“Yeah, and getting me pregnant.”
He groans, closing his eyes.
“They do that pushing the come back inside thing most of the time.”
"I guess I have a breeding kink." He smiles, accepting it instantly, and finally closes the gap to kiss you. "You might not get rid of me now."
“I knew it!” You point at him with your finger. “I wasn’t gonna get rid of you anyways.”
"Wanna keep me as your boy toy?"
“You wanna be my boy toy?” Your whole face lights up.
"You look quite excited."
“I never had a boy toy before.”
"No?" He shakes his head. "Time to change that. And as your boy toy, I should always make sure you're having a good time." He surprises you by spreading your legs again.
“No, no, no, no. It’s my turn.”
Bucky shakes his head. "Need to get you clean, and then we can do whatever you want, alright?"
“You are really something else.” You sound amazed.
He smirks. "And you're stuck with me. You're all mine now."
You don't get to say anything anymore as you feel his tongue at your entrance. So you just grab his hair, closing your eyes, your exes long forgotten.
“And you are all mine.”
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moondirti · 3 months
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Your ghostsoap x preg!reader!!??? I'm in love I need more of this. You have more thoughts for that universe? I just fell in love with your writing.
Let me camp in this corner of your blog, I'm friendly and don't bite (⁠~⁠ ̄⁠³⁠ ̄⁠)⁠~
they're all i've been able to think about all day. of course i have more to say <3 if you're curious, anon is referring to this, which should be read before this part.
tags: DARK FIC. manipulation. vehicle tampering. planned abduction. pregnant fem!reader. established ghostsoap – who are not the fathers but would definitely like to be. mentions of somnophilia
Delusional as they might be, it's hard to justify something as egregious as blunt-force kidnapping. Though it briefly occurs to Simon – to pluck you from the parking lot and drive off the hour after they decide to keep you – the logistics don't iron out. Of chief concern, you're six months pregnant. What they'd typically use for POW's thus become's inconsiderable for you; Johnny's the wiz, but even he knows the effects chloroform can have on a foetus. The alternative isn't any better, either – his partner just balks at the idea of tying you up and throwing you in the trunk. (She'll never git ower it, Si. Dae ye want her tae hate us?)
So, things unfold in a far subtler manner.
They go home that night they first meet you. Can't coordinate without resting on it, they rationalise, without scoping their place to assure it's suitable for their soon-to-be-mother. They tuck away the knives laying on random countertops, air out the quilts gifted to them by Johnny's ma in an attempt to make their room cozier. And when they sleep, they dream of you tucked in between them, knocked out, sex-drunk. Dressed in nothing but a shirt, cunt bared for either of them to toy with throughout the night.
Hours upon hours later, well into noon the next day, Simon wakes to find his boy rutting into his thigh, still somewhat comatose, and sneaks a rough hand into his boxers to tug the tension out of the poor thing. They only get up as the fissures of dusk begin to spread across the sky, loading their car with a toolbox and making the drive back to The Dahlia, staking out in the parking lot as they wait for you to arrive for your shift.
(Johnny had deployed the old charm as you brought out their food in two baggies last night, disguising the trap with a lilting laugh as he audibly wondered why you picked up such a late shift.
You’d only shrugged and said you preferred to work nights.)
Sure enough, you pull up in a beat-up Kia at 2200, fussing with your bag as you stumble to the back entrance of the roadhouse.
"Forgot to lock it." He mutters, following your form until it disappears from view. Johnny only frowns, tightening his fingers over his thumb. A little nervous tick.
"Should we be doin' this?"
"And what is this?" Simon turns to appraise the scotsman, larger hand enveloping his, calloused fingertips smoothing over scarred knuckles. "Y'think they'd be kinder to 'er? The type of scum we know grace this earth? It's a wonder she made i' this far, Johnny."
He isn't convinced.
"Look a' me." Blue eyes widen to meet his, dark as their owner battles intuitions that have always been straighter than the Ghosts'. "Wanna give 'er a good life, yeah?"
"Aye. The best."
"Would she be so convinced?" But he knows the answer. They both saw the way you withdrew after being hit on, losing the effusiveness you initially greeted them with. Avoidant. Classic case of hyper-competency, perhaps the very reason you put up with such shitty circumstances to begin with. A stubborn knot they'll have to undo themselves.
And Johnny likes the challenge.
"Lass's got something tae prove." Moments pass in silence. Then: "Ah’ll get th' wire."
"Atta' boy."
They only enter the establishment an hour before the end of your shift. It’s 0600 and space is sleepy. At a point that had escaped their notice, someone had made the choice to shut the overhead fluorescents, and so all that functions to illuminate the dinette is the pale dawn outside. Johnny finds he prefers it like this, grumbling a tired endorsement, before branching off in search of the bathroom, hand rubbing the sore column of his throat.
The softening mass in his pants jumps once Simon catches sight of you, balancing two trays in one hand as you wipe down the serving hatch. He doesn’t need to say anything. You catch the dark blur of him in the corner of your eye, shuffling into a booth, where he occupies an entire side with the mere spread of his legs.
“Hello again. Just you today?” You’re twirling your pen, cradling your belly, and he notes the perpetual shadow cast under your eyes. Poor pet.
He shakes his head, then cocks it toward the loo. “Think he’ll have a go at the toastie today.”
“Good choice. Hard to fuck up.” You give him a tired smile. “And for you?”
“M’good.”
“You sure? Look like you’ve been on the road again, and-" You pause, the water of your eyes rippling as you appraise his mask. Something seems to click just then, because you nod and tuck your notepad away. “I’ll ask again at the end. Maybe you’ll want something to-go.”
In the end, they do take something to go.
Not as greasy as the toastie Johnny spends the hour tearing into, glossing the pads of his fingers with oil. Nor as sour as the coffee he sipped on last night, burnt and way past freshness, just like you’d warned them about. But a much, much sweeter keepsake. Something that’ll sate them for much longer.
You’ve already clocked out once they leave The Dahlia, faces grim but as innocent as they can possibly muster. Sure enough, you’re out standing by your car, wiping tears with the back of your hand. They’re close enough that they can catch snippets of your conversation on the phone (No, I don’t– and It is old but never–).
They wait until you grow desperate, hiccuping – Don’t have that kind of money. Please – before intervening.
“Hey. What’s the matter, hen?” Johnny approaches first, concern no faux thing, smoothing a hand down your arm. What Simon said earlier comes back around (Wanna give 'er a good life?) and his chest tightens at the sheer despair he sees etched across your face. You shouldn’t be this stressed about anything this far along, should have someone taking care of you.
He, they, can be that for you. Could give you everything you ask for and more.
“M-my car. I-I don’t– I don’t know what’s wr-wrong with it, and–”
“Shhh, issalright. Not starting, eh?”
“No. And I have to- to get home before… before–”
Simon steps in, crowding you against the side of your car. You don’t have it in you to look for the red flags; the glances they throw one another, the subtle crinkle in the masked one’s eyes as he smiles. No, you don’t– can’t consider it dangerous. Not when these two wonderfully kind men, who tipped you 100% of their bill both times they came in, are one of your only means of getting help.
“Where do you live? We’ll drive ya if it’s on our way.” A lie. They’ll drive you regardless, and you won’t be taken home.
“Oh- no. That’s okay, really. I’ll just a-ask my boss if I can get a sub on my pay, and–”
Johnny smooths a finger across your cheek.
“Nonsense, hen. It’ll be a skoosh.”
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moonstruckme · 2 months
Note
hey lovely! if you’re up to it, would you be able to write something w james or remus with comforting a reader who’s insecure about her skin/having broken out? i’m totally not projecting (i get chronic rashes on my face and one broke out recently and it’s making me sooo self conscious because my birthday is soon and i wanted to feel pretty 😖)
thank you!! mwah!!!
xoxo @mareagirls
Hi Rosa my love! Thank you for requesting and happy early birthday!!
cw: reader is insecure about her skin
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 750 words
You scrub at your skin with your fingertips, pads pressing harshly as you distribute the cleanser over your face. Then turn the tap as cold as it can go, splashing water and scrubbing again to make sure the product is all gone. 
“Alright, enough of that,” says Remus as you towel your face dry. You look up to see your boyfriend watching you in the mirror from the bedroom. He tents his book beside him on the bed, beckoning you over. “Come here, bring your stuff.” 
You turn around to look at him. “Why?” 
You can see Remus intentionally smoothing the pique from his expression, gentling it into something kinder. “Just come sit with me, please.” 
You gather your things off the bathroom counter, carrying them into the bedroom and plopping down in front of him on the bed. Remus knows your routine. He takes a washcloth from you wordlessly, wetting it with product. 
“Close your eyes.” 
You do, and he starts swiping the product gently over your skin, starting at your jawline and working his way slowly upwards, following the planes of your face. His free hand is wrapped loosely around the side of your neck to steady the both of you. 
“Why are you doing this?” you murmur, trying not to move your face as you speak. 
“Couldn’t stand seeing you look so angry with yourself,” Remus replies, matching your volume. His voice is low and raspy, inlaid still with traces of frustration. You hadn’t realized you had been looking like that. “S’like you’ve no idea how pretty you are.” 
There’s a thick pause. The washcloth shushes over the skin of your forehead, and you can feel Remus’ gaze boring into your shuttered lids. 
“I know you think I just say that,” he says, setting the washcloth down on your leg. You open your eyes, and he’s squirting moisturizer onto the pad of his index finger. His eyes flit up to yours, the color of honey or perfectly steeped tea. You look away. “I don’t. I wouldn’t bother saying anything if you weren’t as lovely as you are, and it’s insane that you don’t know it yourself. I mean, we’re looking at the same face, aren’t we?” 
Your lips twist upwards as you close your eyes and Remus sets his hands to your face again. He smooths the moisturizer into your skin with thorough, loving strokes. 
“I do feel pretty, sometimes,” you admit. “Just not so much when my skin is acting up like this.” 
“Not sure how that changes anything.” His voice is gruff, audibly judgemental in the way you’re sure only he can manage. It coaxes a soft laugh from you, and Remus’ thumb swipes extra affectionately over your cheekbone, approving. His tone lightens. “Really, dove, it’s not like the rest of you just disappears because you’ve broken out. You’re just as lovely. I’m not sure anything could change that, short of reconstructive surgery I suppose.” 
You roll your eyes. They’re still closed, but you hope he sees the motion anyway. “You’re being too nice to me. I know it’ll go away eventually, but it’s still not the same as when my skin is clear.” 
“It’s not,” Remus allows. “Of course it’s not the same. But that’s like saying I’m not the same with my scars as I was without them. And I still managed to snag you all mangled-looking.” 
You open your eyes, despite his hands still moving over your face. “You’re not mangled-looking,” you say. You know Remus knows this, but it feels important to tell him anyway. “I love you with your scars.” 
He smiles softly, and you close your eyes again, satisfied. “Then you see what I’m getting at,” he says. “I love you like this, just the same as when your skin looked a bit different.” His touch arcs over your eyebrow. “And everyone else loves you just the same, too.” 
You hum, a pleased sort of capitulation. “You’re such a sweet talker.” 
“Doesn’t take much imagination to tell the truth.” You can hear Remus’ smile. “You’re always lovely, dove, but I like you best when you look like you feel lovely, too.”
“I’ll try,” you say. He hums satisfiedly, thumbs brushing twin paths across your cheeks. “Is there really still product to rub in?” 
“Mm, not strictly speaking.” Remus’ lips press, soft and sweet, to your freshly moisturized cheek. He doesn’t seem to mind the bumps. “But I think I’d better do this a while longer just to be sure.” 
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