#and we got plenty issues to point at nowadays

[0reoblanc]

Hot take

Nowadays, ppl tend to like villains more because they actually have the guts to go against/point out the social/political issues we all see but don’t dare/bother to do s* about.

[doberbutts]

Feminist theory is not the same as feminist activism, which is what I specificied in my ask, intentionally. There is feminist theory about men's issues (yes Bell Hooks is by far the most famous theorist in this space), and that is good, but it is not the same as activism to improve men's conditions in the here and now. I wanted to give a different perspective, and have a discussion about something that I feel is a problem that has lead to and continues to lead to a lack of progress for men. I mean, the other ask you got saying thst feminism persistently centers men just by talking about our issues, that proves my point. That is an incredibly common view. Not even working towards solving men's problems, just talking about them occasionally is considered too much. There is an obvious solution to that, which I said previously. Regardless, I am and will continue to believe in the cause of fighting to improve things for both women and men, because we all deserve better. Anyway, I won't bother you anymore, but I hope you know this was written in good faith about something that is important to me.

Theory informs activism, so if you want to see feminist activism that does what I'm talking about, find the feminists talking about what I'm talking about.

Respectfully, despite referencing the other ask, you seem to have not read it if your stance is still "what has feminist activism done for men", because I gave pretty direct examples there.

But you're right. That sort of feminism is harder to find especially nowadays. A lot of people's feminism regards men as "ewwww boys are icky" and "men are 100% solely responsible for all of women's problems". Which was the entire point of my post that started this conversation. It's also compounded by the fact that a lot of times this doesn't look as big and loud as rallies and marches, and so it gets ignored. In reality, the feminist activism that follows the theory I'm describing looks like parents teaching their sons that gentleness and femininity is not bad. Dads who wear nail polish and tutus to support their sons' interests. Boys being encouraged to watch and read the "girl books" and "girl movies". Dads who do not abandon their sons' need for physical affection as they age out of fear of homosexuality.

It looks like restructuring the ways we look at sexual assault and rape so it doesn't automatically exclude the most common way men are attacked. It looks like teaching young men that they do not need to take abuse from a romantic partner or family member on the chin just to be a man. It looks like teaching men that "masculinity" does not need to be defined by stoicism and that the concept of "manning up" is harmful. It looks like teaching boys that there are ways to communicate affection that aren't violent or sexual in nature. It looks like teaching teenagers that playful ribbing is one thing, but tearing your friends down all the time so you can be the biggest man on the block is toxic behavior, and only leads to more isolation because all your friends learn to be mean to each other.

It teaches young men that pleasuring your partner involves more than just a penis, and sometimes doesn't even require a penis at all. It teaches them that their worth is far less in the length of their shaft or the hardness of their muscles or the number on the scale, but far more how they treat others. It teaches them that height and beard length and shoe size and how much alcohol they can consume or their favorite sport team aren't indicators of "manhood", because they are men regardless of the answers to any of those things. It teaches them they can be any type of man they want to be, they don't have to be what the patriarchy tells them are their only options.

And I know this, because I have watched plenty of my butch friends who are devout feminists and have been their entire lives teaching these things to their sons. This is established feminist theory that has existed for a long time. Many followers of this theory do in fact practice what they preach.

Genuinely, I don't really care what you call it. If you want to call it "man's liberation", go for it, I don't care. But to me, this is just feminism. I'm not going to call it men's lib because the feminism I was taught by the women in my life covered these things. Same as how I don't use the word "transandrophobia" because the trans theory I was taught by the trans women in my life told me "transmisogyny" covered these things.

Anyway. I urge you to go read some black feminist theory and then spend some time talking to practitioners of said theory. It might just surprise you how similar the conversation is. It might surprise you to see how their kids and families interact. I'm not saying all black people, because not every black person who is a feminist is specifically a *black feminist*, but when you find someone who fits this description you will know.

[tizzyizzy]

Why Ed Got Kraken: The Benefits of Being Blackbeard

As the climactic emotional turning point of the season for Ed’s arc, we pay plenty of attention to the confrontation between Ed and Izzy in the captain’s quarters. Here’s my take.

“I should have let the English kill you. This, whatever it is that you’ve become, is a fate worse than death.”

Right out of the gate, Izzy speaks what are actually his harshest words in the conversation. He says he should have let Ed die, that what ever he has become is worse than being dead. Between a different pair of characters, these cruel words would be the point of the scene. Ed would be dealing with his longtime friend and ally thinking so little of him. Wishing he was dead.

But, whatever bond they may have forged over the years, one of the most consistent things we see over the course of the series is how little Ed takes Izzy’s emotions and concerns into account. Sure, Ed listened and bowed to pressure when Izzy and the other crew members had a meeting about Stede being a pet. But Izzy both had back-up and was holding Ed up to his own rules and standards.

In general, Ed doesn’t pay much attention to Izzy’s emotional state, and when he does, he finds Izzy’s anger more amusing than upsetting. That’s not to say that Ed doesn’t care about Izzy at all, or that they aren’t friends. However, as their relationship has strained over the years, Ed seems to have gotten into the habit of tuning out Izzy’s ever growing list of complaints. Makes sense for the emotionally stunted pirate guys. Instead of leaning in to the relationship and dealing with the issue together, Ed leans away to escape Izzy’s pressure, only for Izzy to push even harder, which makes Ed lean away, etc.

And let’s be honest, Izzy can be pretty dramatic when he gets upset; it’s very possible Izzy has made over-the-top statements about how Edward will “rue this day” or whatever in the past in the heat of some fight only for things to cool down and return to normal.

So while Ed seems taken aback by how harsh Izzy is here, he responds more or less the same way we saw him respond in episode 4, where he just looked at Izzy in bafflement while the latter frothed and ranted.

This is just Izzy being Izzy. He’ll get over it.

“Well, I am still Blackbeard, so-”

Ed’s obviously got insecurities, but one thing he is absolutely proud of is being Blackbeard. He enjoys showing off his weather reading genius. He likes sauntering about the Revenge after rescuing Stede and co., basking in the awe of the starstruck crew. Ed worked long and hard and smart to have a reputation so legendary merchant ships surrender at the sight of his flag, and people the world over speak of him in hushed whispers. “I can do anything,” Ed said about running a restaurant. Blackbeard can do anything, and Ed is Blackbeard, so he can do anything.

Yeah, maybe Ed hasn’t been at his best the last few days, but who cares? He’s still, at his core, the infamous, skilled, indomitable Blackbeard. 

Thing is, being Blackbeard comes with a lot of perks. Automatic respect and fear. Spanish Jackie holds her fire because she wouldn’t risk crossing Blackbeard by murdering the Genital Pirate. It may be more boring nowadays when you don’t  have to fight to take a ship, but that’s reliable, safe booty. Dangerous people stay out of your way. Potentially useful ones compete for your favor. Izzy Hands says you’re the most brilliant sailor he’s ever met, and makes you tea and ties bows in your beard and is loyal no matter what.

Most importantly, as long as you’re Blackbeard? You’re somebody. By the time Ed appears in the story, the persona of Blackbeard has started to chafe. The excitement has been replaced by routine, and people see an exaggerated version of him with nine guns instead of his true self. But consider what Ed had before Blackbeard.

He was nothing. S lower class kid with a drunk for a father who wasn’t entitled to the simple pleasures of his aristocratic betters. Being Blackbeard might not be perfect, but it’s brought him so much more than whatever fate his lowly origins would have confined him to.

Back in the day, Ed was probably acutely aware of this. He started his career as nothing. Must have been exhilarating when people began to fear and respect him for the first time in his life, spreading his name far and wide.

But that was a long time ago, and Ed’s gotten complacent. He’s started to look for more out of life. However, he’s paid less attention to what earned him the security to worry about more than day to day survival. Ed didn’t think his slipping mattered, really. Sure, maybe he had made a few questionable decisions as his attention wandered from piracy, but he was still Blackbeard. Nothing’s going to change that.

But then Izzy, old, reliable Izzy, says he isn’t Blackbeard.

“No! This, this is Blackbeard! Not some namby-pamby in a silk robe pining for his boyfriend.”

These are the words that make him go from sedate to violent.

From episode 4 onward, Izzy has been a representative of Ed’s career as Blackbeard when he still had the passion for it. He’s a barometer that tells the audience how the Present Ed compares to Past Ed. In 10, he tells Ed and the audience that ratings are at an all time low. For the first time, Ed believes him.

When Izzy called him a “shell of a man who is merely posing at Blackbeard,” in 4, Ed didn’t bother to acknowledge it. Despite Izzy’s complaints, Ed was still confident that he was Blackbeard. In 4, despite his mistake with the date, Ed managed a brilliant plan with Stede’s help. Izzy apologized at the end of the episode, taking back his words. 

But a lot has changed since 4. 

Ed has fallen in love and had his heart broken. He’s become more open to his softer feelings, willing to express vulnerabilities. He found a friend, and lost him, and saw a different way of running a ship. He gave up his freedom for the love of a man who seemingly didn’t actually care about him. He learned he loved marmalade and wrote a song about his feelings and spent a week hiding in a pillow fort.

Ed has changed.

“Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard. Not Edward.”

Know all those benefits I mentioned before? Izzy is one of them. Izzy was drawn to Blackbeard because of his brilliance. He is attracted to Ed as the daring, frightening, cunning pirate captain. Izzy even fell in love with him, and followed him with devout loyalty. Edward’s gotten so used to Izzy being there. It’s as natural as breathing to first reach out to Izzy when he needs something, even something intimate, or to chatter to Izzy about whatever has caught his interest.

Despite their rupture over Stede, their reconciliation wasn’t even worth a scene to itself. They fall back into their dynamic without question, because Izzy’s loyalty is that deep and Ed’s trust is that strong.

But Ed has taken the Blackbeard title for granted. Now, the ever loyal Izzy says he does not deserve it and he will no longer to submit to the authority it represents.

And when Ed is alone, having been abandoned by his most stalwart crewmember, he hears the crew calling him to sing again.

If Izzy doesn’t respect him anymore, no one will. The crew saw his vulnerable side. He has traded the respect of Blackbeard for...possibly nothing. To be treated as a joke. As someone who can be trifled with.

By trying to reach for something more, for real happiness beyond the security of infamy, Ed has risked the Blackbeard name he earned. Stede abandoned him. Izzy’s abandoning him. He’s on a boat with a crew that want to throw a talent show. If he doesn’t act soon, the name of Blackbeard could be dust...or worse, an object of ridicule (Remember how he feared being seen treasure hunting?). Then Ed will be back to the bottom of the barrel, same as the poor, lower class kid he started as, sneered at and looked down upon.

“Edward better watch his fucking step.”

This line is sometimes taken as a coercive threat, Izzy trying to intimidate Ed into bending to his will, but I’d argue that is not what is happening here.

When Izzy says these lines, he isn’t saying, “You’d better do what I want or I’ll make you regret it.” 

He’s saying: “I will obey Blackbeard and submit to the will of Blackbeard. But you aren’t Blackbeard anymore. You don’t get to slam me into a wall or command me like Blackbeard does. If you try it again, there will be consequences.”

It’s not, “Become Blackbeard again or else.” It’s “You’ve changed so much I am no longer loyal to you.”

This is why I disagree with the view that Ed is coerced, bullied, or intimidated by Izzy into becoming the Kraken. This isn’t a scene about Ed buckling  due to the fear of Izzy’s violent retribution, taking desperate measures to protect himself from The World’s Most Pathetic Man. It is about the threat of losing everything he’s built as Blackbeard.

This is why I find arguments about Ed resorting to maiming and forced auto cannibalism as semi-justified by his fear of Izzy, or some form of self-defense, particularly problematic: Ed wasn’t afraid of Izzy hurting him; he was afraid of Izzy leaving. Which is, uh, a very different thing.

Though it only kept Izzy from leaving because he’s loyal to the old Blackbeard, not due to fear.

“Hey Eddie, give us another song!”

(Interesting thing to note: Edward had just told the crew that he wanted to be called “Ed” instead of Blackbeard. He did not give anyone permission to call him by the cutesy, overly familiar diminutive “Eddie”. Perhaps a demonstration of how once he lost the aura of Blackbeard, the crew’s apparent respect for him began to diminish immediately.)

I think it does a disservice to Ed’s character to place the blame for his backslide into krakendom on Izzy. Izzy didn’t trick or manipulate or intimidate Ed. Ed isn’t scared of Izzy, for god’s sake. He isn’t being played. Izzy just exposed Ed to the very real potential consequences of his choices: losing everything he built with Blackbeard. And once Izzy is gone, Ed has hours to decide if he agrees with Izzy. In the end, he does.

I think, if Ed looked back at this moment, he wouldn’t be brooding about Izzy being mean or cruel. He’d think about being left alone in the captain’s quarters, a pit forming in his stomach, realizing that maybe what will give him true happiness and what will keep him safe are incompatible. Looking back on his past behavior in a panic, wondering if people are already beginning to hear tales of the newer, softer Blackbeard, and how that might change how they view him. Wondering, if Izzy is done with him, what does that mean about the rest of his crew? Wondering if he has nearly given up the legend of Blackbeard for an illusion of love. Looking around at all these trinkets left behind from Stede, how he used to long for them, but now they just look like the meaningless baubles of a man so rich he can afford to buy trash like Ed twice over.

“I am the Kraken.”

But it’s not too late. Ed just has to act fast. By the time night falls, he’s made his decision. He throws the member of Stede’s crew that has seen him at his most vulnerable, Lucius, off the boat, along with all his wisdom about relationships and emotions. He proves his commitment to being this version of Blackbeard to Izzy by performing a grotesque act of violence upon him. “The old Blackbeard’s back and he’s worse than ever,” is what he’s saying. “Don’t give up on me yet.”

Then all of Stede’s things have to go. All the baubles Ed was so excited about in 4, the big library, down they go into the drink. Then he maroons the foolish, trusting, ridiculous crew. They’re useless, and they’ve seen to much. Just more of Stede’s toys to play pirate.

He’s going to be okay. He’s still Blackbeard. He slipped, but he clawed his way back up at the last moment. He still hurts, but he can hide in his room to cry. And there’s the alcohol that we see him with, coping with pain like his father did. (Fang’s drinking now too. Bad times are coming again.)

The stabbed heart is sewed in his new flag, as a reminder not to let anyone in again.

He doesn’t have anything else, but he’s still Blackbeard.

[picturejasper20]

Steven Universe is such a weird case in animation shows because it got half of the internet so obsessed with trying to tear down what was a show for 10-13 years old that had issues much like other shows from its era had (like Adventure Time or Regular Show had in their later seasons). But instead of people trying to be normal about it and accept that the show had some things that could have been better, they got obsessed of ripping apart every tiny detail that it reached to the point misconceptions and lies about the series and the people who worked behind it were spread around and eventually they became the norm of how general fandom talked when it came to Steven Universe.

A few years later Steven Universe started to become somewhat popular again thanks to things like Tiktok fandom and many streaming it on HBO Max. Now there are videos and posts talking about how people getting hyperfixated in ¨destroying¨ it was kinda fucked up, because yes, it was and it is something that a lot of fans have talked for years now. For years one couldn't simply talk about the series normally because the general fandom couldn't be normal when talking about it. Hell, even when it came to talking about a show like Star vs The Forces of Evil, some would bring up how the show was fun to watch until around Season 2 and it had some interesting ideas. In contrast, when it came to SU, you would get 50 different opinions, some valid and others very far-fetched to be taken seriously.

I partially blame all this discourse surrounding the show to the fandom itself. Let's be honest, the SU fandom was very messy and toxic for many back its days and it lead to the show to have a bad reputation because of how annoying some fans were. So, in part i can see where this backlash came from.

Do i think that this issue can be fixed? Honestly, i don't know, i don't think it is possible to fix. The damage has been done and it's going to take plenty of years for people to talk about it normally like they do with other shows. Now there seems to be some change in how people approach analysing Steven Universe, with some praising the backgrounds or talking about certain scenes. Hopefully, one day the general fandom is going to be able to talk about Steven Universe the series like they do with other animated shows nowadays and we can leave all this hatetrain behind us.

[maddiviner]

How would one perhaps cast a glamourbomb?

Note: This article describes some stuff people did in the past. It’s not safe or wise to do that kind of thing nowadays, if it ever truly was. I don’t recommend engaging in these activities, but wanted to answer this anyways. The word itself made me nostalgic, but conflicted? Yeah.

Glamourbombs, at least as I know the term, aren’t spells in the traditional sense. They are (were, more like) magical performance pieces. They touch the “mundane” world with some sort of occult interjection. This was (perhaps thankfully) most common in places where the veil between “mundane” and “weird” was already thin: libraries, universities after midnight, anime conventions, places like that. While I don’t doubt people still do this today, the trend was at its peak around the turn of the century.

At the time, I was in middle school. As the Millennium (holy f**king s**t! its Y2K!) approached, the apocalypticism wasn’t just limited to the Christian kids. Those of us who weren’t Christian or just came from more secular families still saw things like hysteria about Y2K glitches and especially climate change. A lot of that was pretty scary to us, especially considering some of our more fundamentalist-minded neighbors were saying the world was going to end and “Jesus was coming back.”

It wasn’t so much that we believed them. We just knew, even as kids, that the scientists weren’t lying about the climate data. We also knew that people were acting really irrationally, whatever their reasons. This fit in well with the notion that some big change was coming. Maybe it wasn’t the Christian apocalypse, but could it be something? Plenty of adults seemed to think so, too.

Online, and in our own (burgeoning) occult spaces, we had our own spin on things. Allegedly, by glamourbombing, we were helping, in some small way, to enchant this increasingly hostile mundane world. Because, as teens and tweens growing up on White Wolf, Captain Planet and Square Enix, we clearly knew what was best for reality!

We had every right to (at least try to) impose it on the rest of the world at every chance. Right? Right?

We’d all read at least two books on witchcraft from Barnes and Noble, too.

In some scenarios of glamourbombing, the point was just to make people going about their day pause for a few seconds, think “Hmm? Cool!” and go on about their lives, hopefully in a better mood. These were usually simple things like flyers seeking a “LOST UNICORN,” a notice that you’re entering a “PIXIE-FREE ZONE,” silly things like that. You still see stuff like this today and (if it’s well-designed) it makes people smile and nothing more.

Other glamourbombs had more complexity. They (sometimes) included a bit of magical technique - an active hypersigil, for example.

When pen drives grew in popularity, they became common tools for glamourbombing, with people filling the drives with “magical” material and leaving them (usually conspicuously) somewhere, like a library.

These hypersigils might take the form of experimental music MP3s, animated loops, even actual .EXE files (supposedly). I don’t know whether anyone was bold or foolish enough to click on something like that, of course.

I was barely in my teens, and definitely still sorting things out when it came both to my personal beliefs and perspective on wider community issues like this. Even then, though, I knew not to click any weird .EXE files.

The larger problem, in case you couldn’t tell?

A lot of this straight-up ignores issues like bystander consent from a magical perspective and, y’know, the problems that can arise from leaving weird/unexpected things in public places.

Also? In case you’re not keeping track, I’m talking about the 2000s here. Early 2000s. As in directly after 9/11. Not exactly a wonderful time to be running around acting weird in public and dumping strange packages. Not a safe or wise thing to be doing. Some people got a tag on that early on and quit such shenanigans.

In the summer of 2003, I attended a summer program for “gifted” 🙄 kids where I took the course focused on Greek mythology. The motley pack of metaphysically-inclined nerds I met there thought glamourbombing was tragically cool, of course. We had all kinds of ideas about “Lost Pegasus” flyers and other Greek mythology-themed things. Thankfully nothing that would’ve been too harmful. We ended up being too shy and busy with schoolwork to actually do any of it.

Sadly, later on, there were some attempts by groups (some of which I’d call cult-like) to recruit using this kind of thing. I won’t name anything that’d put me on anyone’s radar (hopefully), but I remember reading about some of it.

One particularly unpleasant and notorious use of this technique occurred on the west coast in the late 2000s when a cult set up an “art installation” in public featuring a live rat in a maze and some other random detritus. The rat didn’t freeze to death despite cold temperatures, thankfully.

Incidents like that (which was, of course, reported as a bomb scare) probably helped to put a stop to the glamourbombing trend. After all, if you’re (supposedly) after some kind of mind-liberating mass reenchantment of reality, well, nothing could be worse than the whole bomb squad showing up, right?

As the digital age crept on, I think people started to reevaluate attention’s role as a commodity. It’s really easy to get attention if you want it, as things like the “rat in a maze” exhibit (which made the papers) show.

You can’t control what kind of attention you’ll get, though, and you can’t say for certain that what you’re doing won’t have unintended consequences for other people. With that in mind, something like glamourbombing doesn’t seem very responsible, especially right now.

I guess the concept isn’t irredeemable. As recently as 2018, I was posting on Facebook looking for someone to help me slay the green dragon that sometimes lands in the field near the Taco Bell by the highway.

Little pranks and jokes like that can brighten everyone’s mood sometimes. There’s certain contexts, though (my Facebook feed, for example) where it might be appropriate, and others where it wouldn’t.

And the full-on concept of a glamourbomb, designed to “spread magic in the mundane'' with an active sigil of some sort, etc? Hard pass. Doesn’t seem ethical to me nowadays.

And, of course, it’s generally a bad idea to do anything that might be mistaken for a bomb threat.

[95jezzica]

You said that you like sufin/finsu only in sertain ways, could you tell what those are

(Asking because I feel that too)

Love your content ❤

Well... I should probably preface this by saying it's not as prevalent in the fandom nowadays as it used to be a few years ago (wait, does 2012-2016 still count as a few years ago? anyway), but I still notice traces of it in new fanworks as well. Also, please note English isn't my native language, so I apologize in advance if my explanation is a bit clumsy.

.

Anyway, my biggest issues were/are with how the fandom portrayed (and still sometimes portray) Finland as the "damsel in distress", wife and/or mum. He's not. Finland is a man, and should be treated as such. If anything he'd be a husband/partner, dad/papa or simply "isä" (which is Finnish for dad).

Just as anyone else Finland has his strengths and faults, but it got/gets really annoying when everyone treated Finland as that old and bad stereotypical "the woman of the relationship" who basically spent all his time going: "Oh, Sweden, I've been terrified of you my entire life, but now when you suddenly kissed me I realized it was love all along!" in fanworks.

. . . Yeah, no. That's not SuFin. At best that's an unhealthy relationship and should be tagged as such.

For anyone reading this; It doesn't matter if the other person has good intentions or not; never enter or stay in a relationship if you're afraid of the other person(s). It's not healthy or fair to any of you.

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Then we also had/have fandom portrayal of Sweden. Sweden was an old bad stereotype of "the man of the relationship" and/or just generally a complete monster and forced various things with Finland. Or he was put in the role of "the poor bullied sad teddybear who could nothing wrong and gets beaten up by evil Denmark", on top of almost always being written as basically being owed Finland's love.

Never any middle ground on any of them, even in the few works who reversed the roles. They just went changed the character they slapped a role on and just went to the extreme the other way instead.

And don't get me started on if you liked Sweden and/or Finland romantically with someone else. SuFin-shippers could treat you as if you had just killed their whole family in cold blood.

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So, when I say I only like SuFin in "certain ways"... I suppose I basically just mean fanworks which treat them as people, with both their strengths and faults and no one forcing the other to do something. For them to actually be treated as two men who actually LOVE each other; without one being an old and bad stereotypical "the woman" or "the man" of the relationship, and/or one being afraid of the other.

Now in Hetalia canon Finland is a cheerful, sweet, but a little weird man who sometimes becomes a bit intimidated when he doesn't understand what Sweden thinks/mean, but he's also someone who keeps pointing out that Sweden is KIND and not actually angry. Finland actively helps and defends Sweden when other people and nations become afraid of him. Additionally Finland has canon good aim and also great physical and mental strength. He's someone who has plenty of canon friends outside the Nordics as well - such as Estonia and Germany just to mention 2 of them.

In Hetalia canon Sweden is a bit of an awkward, shy man who has an intimidating face and difficulty expressing his emotions. However, he's also a former Empire who wasn't afraid of walking across the sea ice in the middle of a blizzard in order to headbutt Denmark in the face because Den annoyed him too much. Sweden is both protective and playful with his family, which can especially be seen in his interactions with Iceland, Sealand and Ladonia - but so far we haven't really seen Sweden have any friends outside of the NB8. All of Sweden's friends outside of NB8 are fanon and/or headcanons by people.

(For those who don't know, NB8 is the alliance between Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Iceland, Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia.)

It's also worth mentioning that while fandom blew up "M' W'fe"; to my knowledge hws!Sweden only said it ONCE (maybe twice, if I'm forgetting an instance) in canon when he introduced himself to Estonia - and upon noticing Finland's reaction of being called his wife, Sweden stopped. He never called Finland his wife again.

It doesn't matter why the Hetalia fandom thinks Sweden called Finland his wife, or their headcanoned reason why Finland protested against it. The important thing to note from canon is that Sweden noticed and respected that Finland doesn't want to be called his wife and then stopped doing so. It doesn't matter what Finland's reason was; Sweden respects it.

Finland may or may not return Sweden's feelings in canon, but even for people who do NOT ship SuFin I think it's also important to acknowledge that Sweden and Finland are close friends who have known each other for hundreds of years, and Sweden respects Finland. Even if you like another pairing such as DenFin/NorFin/EstFin I think it's important to keep in mind that Sweden wouldn't just turn into an absolute asshole just because Finland loves someone else. Same in the reverse.

From a SuFin perspective neither Sweden nor Finland are perfect, and I'm sure they would make some mistakes while trying to figure stuff out in their relationship, but as long as they respect each other and get treated as people I think it's good.

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Hope this makes sense. The ask has been sitting in my inbox for a while and this (once again) became a bit of a long post, but I really wanted to try and explain what I mean when I say I only like SuFin a certain way.

.

[mymoodwriting]

What Is Mine

F!Reader x NCT

Genre: Vampire Hunter AU

Warning: Blood, Fangs

Words: 1.3K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Epilogue

Prompt: Vampire hunting was always simple, you go in, you kill the monsters, burn the evidence and move on. Easy. At least that’s what they thought until they find themselves with a fresh new vampire, as innocent and as vulnerable as a child. It presents them with a once in a life time chance to learn and try something new, train a vampire to hunt it’s own kind without remorse. They never would have thought they could have such a pet, let alone grow so attached to it.

“Ze! Dinner!”

    You eagerly made your way down to the kitchen, crashing into Yuta by accident. He chuckled and pulled you into his arms, kissing your head.

“I see someone is hungry.”

“You said it was dinner time.”

“Yes I did.”

    Yuta got a blood bag from the fridge. He handed it out to you, but snatched it away before you could grab it. The games never stopped, they always did this. You tried for the bag again but Yuta did well to hold it away.

“Ya… give me that!”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please.”

“Try again.”

“Pretty please?”

“Who’s a good girl?”

“Me!”

“Yes you are.”

    Yuta took a sip from the bag before letting you have it. You happily finished up the rest, asking for another one. Yuta thought about it for a moment, but he did give you another. There was plenty in the house, but it was important to maintain a healthy diet. You ate enough, that’s for sure, and you were never insanely hungry. You were happy with them, and that’s what mattered most.

“When are we going on another hunt?”

“You’re always eager to go out. Don’t you like it at home?”

“I do, but hunting is fun too.”

“Well, maybe you’ll get lucky. I heard Taeyong talking about a lead.”

    One might think it was weird that a vampire would hunt its own kind, but you were different. So many out there were monsters, but not you. Of course you didn’t always get to go out on a hunt, you had to let the others have their fun too. Although at this point you were due for a night out. After dinner you all gathered in the bunker, Taeyong confirming that there was a lead on a nest, and it was gonna get taken out tonight. Aside from you, Taeyong, Jungwoo, Jaehyun, Lucas, Ten, and YangYang would be going with.

    Upon arrival you received orders. Nowadays you were allowed to go off on your own, no collar or bracelets. It made it easier to have your own fun as you weren’t leashed in anyway. Despite being on the hunt, there wasn’t too much to deal with. You only ran into a handful of bloodsuckers, but they were no trouble for someone like you. Still, you did your job and you did it well. While you investigated your section you suddenly stumbled into a certain room. You should have known something was off, but you weren’t thinking, just mindless running around.

    Now you were standing among dead bodies, the smell of blood overwhelming your senses. You started freaking you. Even if you had good control, you knew you still had issues, so being in a place like this, it was getting the better of you. It rarely happened, but this was when you still had your collar. You would have grabbed it by now and incapacitated yourself, for your own sake. Instead you stood here knowing your own resolve was crumbling, and you couldn’t even get yourself to run away.

“… help…”

    The voice made your heart drop. The smell of blood had been at the forefront of your mind, but hearing a voice, all your senses were suddenly focused on them. The sound of a heartbeat started growing louder and louder, the smell of fresh blood filling your nose. Your throat was getting incredibly dry, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist for much longer. As you lunged at the victim you suddenly found yourself in someone else’s arms. When you entered the room you had left the door wide open, and the smell of blood had found its way to the others.

    Jungwoo had found you just in time, grabbing you and letting you sink your fangs into his arm instead of some innocent victim. You didn’t even drink, just biting down hard, tears falling from your eyes. His free hand came down on your head, petting you.

“Sh, it’s okay baby, you didn’t hurt anyone.”

    The others eventually made their way over, seeing the state you were in, and soon finding the cause. Even though you had been focused on one, the others realized that two of the victims were still alive, a pair of boys.

“They’re in bad condition.” Jaehyun stated. “If we move them that’ll make things worse. I don’t think we can save them.”

    The words upset you more, feeling like you were at fault when that was far from the case. Taeyong ordered Jungwoo and Lucas to get you out of here, they’d deal with the current situation.

“What do we do?” YangYang asked. “If we can’t save them then…”

“I mean, we could.” Jaehyun said. “If we turn them.”

“You want to do what now!?” Ten yelled. “Are you nuts!?”

“I’m just saying. We’ve never turned someone ourselves… I don’t have data on that. Besides that, there’s nothing we can do for them.”

“You can’t be serious. They’re just kids.”

“Exactly. They don’t have much time, Taeyong.”

    It was quiet for a moment as Taeyong thought things over. He had to make a decision, and fast. He glanced down at the boys. He would be taking the choice out of their hands, but he wasn’t entirely ready to see someone die like this.

“Bring them over.”

    Taeyong rolled up his sleeves, taking one of the boys into his arms. He could hear the faint heartbeat, seeing the numerous bite marks on their neck. It was rather unfortunate to still be alive in that state, but he couldn’t watch them take their last breath. Taeyong bit into his wrist, pressing his wound against the boys lips. It took a moment, but the boy began to drink. Once he was sure he’d be alright he did the same with the other. 

“Get them to the van. It’ll be best to restrain them as a precaution until we get home.” Taeyong ordered. “And let’s clean up the rest of this mess.”

♥♥♥♥♥

“You’re just fine, Ze.”

“Are you sure… I didn’t…”

“You didn’t hurt anyone.” Taeil assured. “You did your job as always.”

“I should still be wearing my collar…”

“No, don’t think like that.” Sicheng came over and took your hands in his. “You don’t need that collar. We’re always there to take care of you, just like tonight.”

“But-”

“You did good, and we made sure nothing happened, right?”

“Yes…”

“See. We’ll always take care of you, so you don’t have to worry. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

    Taeil gave you the all clear, you hadn’t suffered any major injuries from the hunt, so you were good to go. You left the infirmary, intending to go up to your room, but your feet took you elsewhere. You wound up staring into a cell, seeing two boys chained against opposite ends, unconscious. You could hear a very faint heartbeat, not entirely sure how to feel.

“What’s with that face?”

    Johnny found you staring, glancing into the cell and seeing the newest additions to the family. Although his focus was on your pouty face.

“What face?”

“You know what I’m talking about. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, don’t give me that. What’s wrong, and be honest.”

You sighed. “It’s stupid…”

“My pretty face?”

“No!” You chuckled. “It’s just… them…”

“The new boys? What about them?”

“You guys rescued me from my nest… I thought I was the only rescue in the family…”

“Oh… is my baby jealous?”

“Don’t put it like that…”

“You’re jealous! That’s so cute.”

“Stop…”

“You’ll always be our one and only special girl, nothing’s going to change that.”

“Yeah but… they’re actually yours…”

“What?”

“You… Taeyong turned them… I don’t even know who turned me…”

    Johnny glanced at the boys in the cell, and then back and you. He put on a smile and pulled you close, kissing your cheek.

“You know, we should talk to the others about that. You’re our special girl, you shouldn’t be jealous of some little fledglings.”

“I know…”

“Come on. Let’s go gather the others and talk about this. I know just what to do to fix this.” Johnny began dragging you along with him. “You’ll always be loved, baby, don’t ever doubt that.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“At a girl.”

[moonlightreal]

Elements of a Witch Mountain story

My last post about what makes a Witch Mountain story… it wasn’t enough.  It needed more.

Required:

-The Castaways. The children are a mystery even to themselves.  This is where the series has already stumbled: Tia grew up with her parents and worries she inherited mental illness from her father.  So unless they do a Surprise Adoption plot Tia isn’t a Castaway.

Unless! The reveal is that the whole suburb is full of aliens, unless this series starts on Witch Mountain itself, a place we’ve never been able to visit before. But if this is the alien community then these are not the aliens we’re looking for.  The story of Witch Mountain is a story of two young Castaways who don’t really fit in finding their people and the place they belong, “a place full of music and magic, because that’s the only kind of place we could have come from.” so if the “sleepy suburb is not as idyllic as it seems”… the aliens are not good?  The whole suburb is aliens trapped and controlled by evil government forces who try to hide the fact from their kids to protect them?

Hmm.  Not a good start for our new show!

-Siblings not romantic partners.  This story is plenty already, it doesn’t need romance too.  And this is not a paranoia story, it’s not a “who can I trust?” story.  The series does seem to have two supernatural characters but it doesn’t seem like they’re siblings.

-Kids not teenagers.  It wouldn’t be impossible to make a good story with teenagers; they’re teenagers in the book, in fact.  But nowadays writers may feel required to add Modern Teen Issues like drugs, drinking, underage sex—look at Fate’s attempts to be edgy.  Nothing wrong with an edgy story, but Witch Mountain is not an edgy story.

This series has three guys described, which makes me feel weirdly like the show’s Tia is going to be in a reverse-harem anime.  We have Ben, cheater and fellow-student-puncher, who has mind control abilities and will probably be the other supernatural kid.  We have Corey, an outsider with tattoos who’s one step away from expulsion.  And we have Peter, who’s pining over Tia but otherwise seems like the token non-edgy kid.  Yeeeeeeah this is gonna be Fate: The Witch Mountain Saga and please guys can we just not.  

-Magic not parapsychology.  Yeah, the kids have telepathic and telekinetic powers but they should be experienced by the viewer as soft magic, not something that can be pinned down and measured with a lot of sci-fi jargon.  The series’ description is vague about what abilities the kids will have, but it seems Tia hallucinates people’s inner selves stepping out of their bodies to reveal their dark secrets, which I guess you have to show telepathy on screen somehow.

The book’s description of the childrens’ abilities was different.  They weren’t telepathic, rather, their people speak at a frequency humans can’t hear.  Tony and Tia could talk to each other but while Tony could also speak normally Tia could only be heard by her brother; everyone else thought she was mute.  Their telekinesis was also much more vague. They could both make things move but Tony could do it better when he played his harmonica, and Tia had a gift for opening locks but only when it’s right to do so.

-A journey of some sort.  It’s a journey story, from not belonging to the place you belong, from danger to safety, from not knowing who you are to being among your people.  

Probably should have:

-An outsider father figure.  Someone’s got to take care of these kids!  And someone’s gotta be the audience point of view for the wonder.

-Throwbacks.  A Witch Mountain story should in some way acknowledge that it’s part of a larger body of stories. Maybe have one of the guys play a harmonica as “if you know, you know” sign that he can be trusted.  I saw Race to Witch Mountain on its opening day, in the evening after work.  Picked up a friend or two and there were maybe six other people in the theater.   There’s a scene where we see the Winnebago sailing down the highway, the music swells-- and this whoop of delight went up from every single person in that theater.  So also:

-A Winnebago.  

-Animals.  Winkie the cat, Junkyard the dog, horses, the bears Tia frees… this story is about kids who are different and their connection with animals and nature is part of what makes them different.  A theme in the book is the escape from the banal and greedy works of man to a more beautiful and better place in nature.

-Some rich dude trying to make bank off the kids.

Things I’d like to see:

-The right mountains.  The book takes place in the Blue Ridge mountains where Alexander Key lived.  There’s a Stoney Creek in North Carolina that may be the town the kids travel through.  All the movies have been filmed in the Sierra Nevadas, very nice mountains but not the right mountains.  I’d love it if the next incarnation of Witch Mountain were to set the story where its roots are.

[bluelotusrises]

Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

After being in a narcissistic abuse relationship for 21 years, it is not easy to heal and recover. By no means am I probably even close yet. But everyday it gets just a little easier and I am a survivor, so I'm sure I'll get there. Though I am somewhat impatient and sometimes wish I could just erase all of those memories. There are some really hard days though, where it feels like I'm going backward and not forward. That is probably the hardest part of being a narcissistic abuse survivor. It feels like the worthlessness, shame, PTSD and feelings of inadequacy never go away. Especially when the word "narcissist" is thrown around so easily these days. It seems that nowadays every time someone does or says something that someone else doesn't like they are labeled a narcissist. It really isn't that common though. Yes, almost anyone can do something at some point that seems to fall within the category. But actually truly having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) only affects up to 5% of the population [Psycom].

The Oxford dictionary defines narcissist as: a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. Mayo Clinic takes it a step further defining it as: a personality with qualities such as, thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing others are inferior and lacking empathy for others. According to Psycom there are nine common traits for NPD:

* Having an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement.

* Needing constant admiration.

* Expecting special treatment.

* Exaggerating achievements and talents.

* Reacting negatively to criticism.

* Preoccupation with fantasies about power, success and beauty,

* Taking advantage of others.

* Behaving in an arrogant manner

There are lots of others. But the fact is we can all act like this once in a while. It becomes a problem and classified a disorder when these occur daily. And unfortunately, that is only the tip of the iceberg for some of us in relationships with a narcissist. Plenty of us suffer mental, physical, emotional, financial and even sexual abuse. And a lot of the time most of us don't even realize what we have entered into until it's too late. Even when there may be early signs, but we pass them off as things like stress, anxiety, quirks or just temperment. As it is clear now that is exactly what I did in the beginning.

Now for my story. It started only 2 weeks after my marriage to NG. The whole time we dated and during our engagement things were great. I'm sure if I analyzed things there were probably some red flags, but at the time I had no idea. He seemed nice, caring, sensitive, loving and not the least bit controlling. We got married and immediately had to move to another state for a job he had taken. As soon as we moved I got in with a doctor since I had some issues come up recently. We had been at the new place for 2 weeks when I was diagnosed with my first autoimmune disease.That evening I told him everything the doctor said. He hit me across the face, pushed me and told me "I wish I'd have met you before you were sick and skinnier than you are now." (One of the symptoms is impossible to control weight gain, but at that point I was only at 145 lbs). After a few days of me not saying much to him, he started acting repentive and extra sweet. I chalked it up to stress and an emotional response to my diagnosis. I wish that is all it had been.

That was not the last time he would be physically abusive though. Fast forward 18 years. He had been not only abusive physically but also verbally, mentally, emotionally and financially. Asking for chance after chance, saying he'd change. He forbade me from working. I needed his permission to go anywhere or do anything. Even with his permission, I had to let him know where I was going, how long I'd be gone, when I left and when I returned. After we got cellphones it only got worse. If he thought I had been gone to long or just felt he should check on me he would call. And I'd better answer right away or he would accuse me of being with a guy. (Keep in mind I had never cheated on him or anyone for that matter and 99% of the time I had my young daughter with me everywhere). He also forbade me from having any friends and very little contact with any family. Only my folks did he "tolerate" minimal contact with.

Even at home I was closely monitored. If I left the room, he would follow me. Even the bathroom, he would wait outside the door which I had to leave open. I had absolutely no choice in having any personal space or privacy. He was the epitome of having to control everything I did. He constantly belittled me, even in front of other people. He was always gaslighting me, telling me I remembered things wrong or misheard something. Emotionally he destroyed me.

The night before one of my birthdays he asked me about something and since my phone was in another room I asked to use his to check on his request. When I opened the browser there were screens still up and open. They were porn sites. He was occupied so I looked at the web history and it showed multiple porn sites plus a lot of searches for "local women". The search history spanned over months. Probably longer but after 6 months it is automatically deleted so I will never know how long it had been going on. At first, when I confronted him he started in with the gaslighting, saying he didn't know how any of that would be on there.

But something snapped inside of me. I wasn't backing down this time. He finally, eventually, did admit to almost all of it, but still tried to reason his way out of it. Like the excuse "I was looking for ideas for us". But his problem with those type of excuses were two-fold. One, we hadn't shared a bedroom in 12 years (his choice) and he had ED, even meds only helped 15% of the time. After that I did start asserting myself for a little more freedom. He'd give me a little then make some excuse for trying to rip it from me. I so desperately wanted to leave, but just like all those years past I was stuck with no way out and no support. About 6 months after I found the porn we moved half way across the country. I restarted trying to make plans to leave but it was near impossible. And emotionally I was in shambles. That one night single handedly destroyed my self-esteem, self-image and devalued everything I thought about myself.

It wasn't until about a year before I finally left him that I finally realized he was what is called a Narcissist. I always knew he was extremely controlling but now I started learning all the other things he had been doing and that they were not normal. I had a couple of new friends (the first in 18 years) that helped me see things from a whole new perspective and weren't afraid to point things out. They helped me out of a horrible situation. But the after effects are still there. Some of the small issues I have resolved over the last few years. Once I could go no-contact with him it made things alot easier. I felt like I could breathe again. I still have trouble with self-image and self-worth issues. The hardest thing for me has been working through the trauma bonding and PTSD. Even with no-contact, we still live in the same town, so I could run into him literally anywhere. Everytime I leave my house I am hyper-vigilant. It is hard to work through something you don't know how to work through.

But for anyone out there in an abusive relationship, I do firmly believe it is possible to survive and recover from it. You need a support system and a plan. Remember it is NOT your fault. It is your abusers'. Once you leave go no-contact as soon as possible. If necessary plan to have someone be an intermediary, especially if children are involved. A friend, family member or even a lawyer will do. It will get better, but it takes time.

It is not an easy process. Especially if, like me, you lost yourself in the relationship. Finding yourself again is easy for some and harder for others. For me, it has been extremely difficult. I still am not totally sure who I am yet. But I refuse to give up. I will not let him make me a victim, I will be a survivor. I now have a wonderful husband who is behind me 100% and who has the most gentle and patient soul, he is committed to seeing me healthy and happy. We have a wonderful, precious little girl. They are my motivation.

***Not intended as medical or legal advice. Written only as personal experience.***

(My husband and daughter the day we brought her home finally from NICU).

[zealsoughtsequesterustanxiedemon]

On last RB

reminds me of the cis male version of that. Brain used to get so weird about trans fans of those characters that would claim that they were trans.

Was very stuck in the mindset of like "Okay they aren't definitionally transgender" (whatever that means). Most people saying it probably mean they're more, like, thematically transgender or just very relatable to trans people. Or they're just unaware of how cis people could relate to it. I've actually seen my fair share of comments from trans women on GB/CD manga going, "I don't know understand what cis people get out of this". They make me laugh.

Regardless I'm not very bothered by it nowadays unless it's accompanied by complaints about people gendering the character as male. Or just shitting on the author for "not understanding that trans people exist." The latter def still annoys me, like this character couldn't be an honest exploration of gender or that the author actually wanted to make a trans character and got told no by publishers. But my brains better now about just muting/blocking and moving on.

Cause I do understand the frustration. There's not a lot of trans characters out there in anime/manga, at least not in the mainstream. These are characters they really relate to and see themselves in. I at least feel being disappointed when a character you thought was trans has the story opt out of making them trans. I've definitely had those with gender bending stories before, even had one that did the opt-out right at the end and left me crying and angry and feeling like shit. I get wanting to see your gender identity reflected there. And for them talking about it they basically get harassed. Even if they can still be an asshole about it sometimes, it's such a minor issue to me now. Again, if it really bothers me, I can always mute/block and move on.

Really we should have plenty of trans and cis gnc characters to pick from. Personally speaking, I definitely need the latter and want more of the former that I don't just see as the latter. Cis people, at least a decent portion of us are always gonna need cis characters that fly in the face of gender norms. It's always weird when people call that kind of behavior "not very cis", when like, to some of us it's kinda intrinsic to being cis. Struggling with gender was actually always a cis experience thing to me; like, not a struggle about which gender you are but like how good at gender you are. Feeling like less or like more of a man. I saw that type of insecurity everywhere growing up, not all equivalent, but definitely there in some amount. Seeing this kind of exaggeratedly "feminine" traits being carried by a man who's often very secure in his masculinity feels so freeing. Even when those characters are insecure, I can see someone who feels a lot like me. It validates my "feminine" interests, lets me feel okay to want to be cuter, wear different clothes, etc.

Its nice seeing that trans people, especially my friends, love these characters too. I love that there's people like me out there, connecting to the same characters, even if we're just a little different (or a lot different). I think part of my original insecurity with these characters being called trans was, like, I figured these were people who'd understand exactly how I'd feel about these characters, but instead, from my understanding at the time, they were denying me. Saying that I shouldn't relate to that character or that if I did I'm probably not what I think I am. The cis side of the conversation is often v surface level ("He's just a guy who likes cute things" or pointing at snapshot-able gender confirmations). So glad I've got plenty of trans friends now who make me feel cool about this stuff and can talk more substantively on characters like this. I love em and wouldn't trade em for any amount of transphobic assholes that'd call these characters men purely because of their AGAB. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[escape-rock-bottom]

Journal #18 - Disconnecting (Discomfort Challenge Journal)

For years, the tech world worked at bringing fantasy to our reality. They had a vision of connecting the world without us necessarily needing to physically be present in the same room. Nowadays, you can easily call your parents who are on vacation halfway around the globe, chat with your friend who lives in Canada, and run a fully functional business from your bedroom. Just 10-20 years ago this was the stuff of legend. So much value was created from this idea that the people at the forefront of this evolution sit upon multi-billion dollar tech brands that dominate the market. To this day, technology is still advancing at a rapid speed.

I was born right at the beginning of the tech boom. This basically means that I grew up surrounded with technology that quickly evolved the older I got. Let’s just say that my attachment to technology was pretty strong from the moment I was old enough to understand it, and it led to me sitting here in the present day, killing my brain cells and attention span scrolling through websites when I could be building my barge model. At this point in time, most of us have a majority of our interactions daily with and through technology. 

The issue with the seemingly unlimited connection to people and content is obvious: We spend far too much time distracted by and invested in it. It’s understandable, companies and creators alike have optimized their content to be attention grabbing as that’s how they are rewarded for the stuff they make, but it sadly causes us to fall into the trap of wasted time and easy entertainment far too effectively. 

I could be watching a welding tutorial in an effort to troubleshoot a problem I have with my practical welding skills, but quickly find that two hours have passed and I am somehow watching a video about how someone drank expired coconut water and ended up in the hospital (true story). While I admittedly find the psychological factors of the internet wildly fascinating, the issue itself is frustrating to many.

These issues are exactly why Leon set a two hour time limit on daily social media usage. Realistically, this would be a hard challenge on its own. While I have barely touched social media in this challenge aside from the occasional guided meditation, YouTube tutorial, the DRVN30 group, and posting my blogs to Tumblr (which net way under the 2 hour social media limit across all my devices) I still manage to net an average of 5 hours of screen time just writing these blogs and managing a business! 

To me, that’s nuts. It’s not the level of disconnect I wanted to experience honestly. I haven’t spent a single day since last year not using any internet-connected device at least once, which led me to this discomfort challenge: Spend a whole day without using any technology. The only thing I was allowed was a watch I can set alarms and timers on. Of course this presents unique problems, but it would free up a theoretical 5 hours of my 16 I have in my day. I’ll admit, it was hard. I got bored a LOT regardless of the fact I had plenty of things available to do. However, the rewards I got were well worth it.

Here’s a list of the rewards and benefits I found from total disconnect as well as limiting my social media time for the DRVN30 challenge:

More focus on hobbies and necessary tasks

More awareness regarding where I spend my time, especially on the internet

“Dopamine reset” - I now get little reward from scrolling through social media or watching YouTube videos. My attention is only held for a small period of time before I get bored of that and return to another task. I get more enjoyment out of hobbies, interests, and projects now and don’t feel the need to listen to music or a podcast to relax into it as much.

Less distraction and rabbit-hole browsing

More energy, motivation, and productivity

Less negative mood/mindset effects.

Less migraines (sometimes triggered by screens in the first half of my day, RIP)

Considering how much reward I personally got from these two challenges, I might in the future set intentional “disconnect” days where I spend my day off of technology and focus my energy on projects outside the tech realm. I may even try a longer lasting disconnect period.

If you’re finding the amount of time you spend on social media, the internet, or just technology in general are negatively affecting your life, consider setting the boundaries and constraints that work best for you. You may also want to try your own day of total disconnection – or several days, if that tows your barges – to really challenge your comfort zone. Be aware of any significant changes when doing so, it helps to understand yourself, your habits, and your needs on a deeper level. 

Lastly, if you’re the type of person who is very distressed by your social media, internet, or technology usage but find it even more distressing to disconnect and face reality, you may want to unpack why you feel that way. Being reliant in that manner often signals a deeper emotional or psychological factor you may need to address.

[ninjaghostdev]

When is Normal Again.

Came across this post from one Alex Navarro

I'd been thinking to myself a lot about this.

March 17th 2020. That's when the schools shut down after spring break. My oldest started spring break excited to go back to class. Then she couldn't.

March 20th 2020. We were in full lock down mode, have to work from home.

Jan 17th, 2023: we're still working from home

--

I can't even properly describe to my young kids how weirdly.. unassuming life was only 3 years ago today.

I look back on videos and photos, and I see essentially a completely different world than what's out there today.

Things that have come back to normal… are different now.

(For context, my oldest was in Grade 1 on Spring Break when her world got flipped upside down. My youngest was only 2 years old. Her entire conscious life has been under this pandemic, and her whole world is dominated by the environment and society it's created in the aftermath.)

My oldest got to enjoy making some early memories out and about with people she loved, doing adventures on the sky train, going to malls, indoor playgrounds, fairs, and school events. Some loved ones, by the way, who are no longer with us by the time my province started relaxing measures, and who never got to see the other side of covid measures.

We try to do a bunch of the things we used to do, but the vibe is completely different now. Pre-sign up to an indoor playground because now they limit slots to like 20? Pre-Schedule going to the swimming pool? The malls are.. effectively gutted and sad now, not much in them survived.

What's worse, my oldest used to enjoy going to extracurricular classes like cooking, art, dance, etc Nowadays she's lucky to get into swimming lessons. Everything else gets canceled on her due to "lack of interest" because no one is sending their kids to these things anymore.

My youngest by the grace of whatever deity has been able to enjoy some ballet classes.

My oldest however misses all these activities she used to be able to do. Her excitement to show us the new thing she baked. Her genuine enthusiasm over bringing home a new painting or paper craft. It's been almost 3 years since she's last been able to enjoy these.

My own world with my own interests has changed rapidly too. I dont want or need a lot. A computer, primarily. Some basic stuff like DnD rule books and such. I even got into firearms ownership as a Canadian, but even there I didn't seek much, just some basics.

But of course, thanks to the supply chain and production issues, it's made everything i'm apart of a scalpers paradise. I've been finding a lot less joy in these things. Mostly because I just want to forget anything better than what I have might be out there, because it's become to damn unattainable at this point, it might as well be.

And then the inflation hit. Now my family and I no longer live comfortably. In just a couple short years, i've gone from a life of, honestly comfortable plenty, to a life where im back living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't leave my employer, in fact i've been there 9 years this March. Im not making less, in fact i've never made more in my life. The rapid inflation, new installation of poorly timed taxes, and strained production rising prices across the board for just about everything..

I don't know, man.

It's been downright depressing watching my world, my country, and my province deteriorate into shittiness around me, and stay that way or get worse. Yeah I know there's people out there who have it far worse than me, but im allowed to feel this way too.

I wonder.

I really do wonder.

If I'll ever see a day again where I can wake up, take a nice breath, and go "Yeah, ok, this is close enough to the way things felt in October of 2019."

[bikeshack]

An Ultimate Guide On Road Bikes

You couldn't decide an improved time to buy for a brand new road bike. Today, manufacturers provide a lot of models than ever in a very wider kind of value points. And part firms create associate exceptional array of top-notch wheels, brakes and shifting systems that operate like never before.

For instance, it's doable to induce 27-speed drivetrains that shift blink fast, and wheelsets therefore light-weight pedaling is easy. In fact, there area unit such a big amount of enticing selections nowadays, that if you only walked into our store, you would possibly be engulfed.

Don't be. Having plenty of selections may be a wondrous issue as a result of it dramatically will increase the chance you will find the right road bike -- as long as you recognize a trifle regarding what is offered.

To help, we've place along this comprehensive guide for locating the perfect road rig. we tend to make a case for alternatives you wish to form and supply recommendation on everything from frame materials and wheels to power train and element choice.

To start, though, you wish to try to to some self analysis (therapist not required).

Chain rings and Cogs

There area unit sprockets on the front and back of the bike. The fronts area unit referred to as chain rings and they are placed on the crankset, the half that the pedals area unit connected to. The crankset comes with two or three chain rings . Triple cranksets embrace a little inner chain ring that gives easier hill-climbing gears.

The sprockets on the rear of the bike area unit referred to as cogs or, if you are relating the whole cluster of gears, it's referred to as a cassette or freewheel. The container is connected to the rear wheel to drive it as you pedal. counting on the parts on the bike, there'll be from eight to ten cogs on the rear container.

How Many Gears?

To figure out what percentage total gears area unit on a motorbike, merely multiply the amount of chain rings by the amount of container cogs. for instance on a model with a triple crankset and a 10-cog container, you have got thirty gears -- quite upgrade from the 10-speeds therefore well-liked years past.

How many gears to urge depends on however and wherever you ride. If you are moderately match and bike in flat to rolling piece of land, you will likely be fine with a double chaining and eight to ten rear cogs. If it's craggy and you are stepping into form, contemplate a triple chaining and its easier gears.

When considering what percentage rear cogs to urge, detain mind that you're going to have lots of gears notwithstanding you get associate 8-cog container. If you visit additional cogs, you'll be able to either get a wider vary of gears or more-closely spaced gears. The latter is superb for athletics and coaching as a result of it makes it easier to fine-tune pedaling effort. Wider powertrain offers easier low gears therefore it's ideal for mountainous riding and for once you are not in tip-top form.

How the Gears Feel

To figure out however straightforward it's to pedal the gears, you have got to grasp a trifle additional regarding the chain rings and cogs. they're noted by the amount of teeth on them. So, you would possibly scan in bike specifications regarding 39/53 chain rings and 12-23 cassettes. To grasp the dimensions of each cog, you always ought to count every one (usually cogs and chain rings area unit marked, but, the marks are often exhausting to see).

Know Your Numbers

Don't let the numbers confuse you. The key issue to grasp is that for chain rings, larger numbers mean it's more durable to pedal and contrariwise. For cogs, it is the opposite: the larger the amount, the better it's to pedal and contrariwise. By keeping these rules in mind, you'll be able to quickly see that a 30/42/52 triple crankset and a 12-30 container can supply abundant easier power train than a 39/53 double with a 12-23 container.

Such is that the state of refinement and advanced technology in bikes nowadays that nearly any convenience or feature you'll consider has been designed, tried, tested and placed on the market, providing what amounts to associate overflowing buffet of selection.

Consequently, otherwise to fine-tune your bike is to consider a number of the options you would like and raise the useful employee if that combination is already offered ready-made.

[fmdjace]

❝ i’m getting nervous for some reason, i’m trying to speak calmly

solo related jihoon’s and his solo debut endeavors pt.2 date: december 2022 song choice: 2u word count: 573 notes:

"i've never choreographed before."

the statement hangs empty and yet uncomfortable in the dance practice room. jihoon can tell the choreographer in front of him doesn't believe him. he doesn't believe it himself. he used to, back in the days where he still danced competitively, however, ballroom dancing had nothing in common with idol dances. he's learned that much from his years as a trainee and an idol. he isn't sure where to start, he has some ideas, he isn't sure they would like them.

"well.. that's a lie." the choreographer's, baekho, says and almost rolls his eyes, suddenly jihoon feels like he back to being a trainee. asked to make his own dance for their upcoming evaluation. it's not something he ever thought he would have to experience again. "we've seen you dance, do i need to pull out those recordings from years ago?" he asks and the idol shakes his head, a bit too aggressively. back then, he was just going with the flow. if anything, he should be better nowadays. he learns dances fast, he is good on his feet, has good creativity in terms of how to move his body. formations were gonna be an issue, maybe the point of the choreography. he is spiraling. he doesn't want to do this.

"this is why i'm here to help, at least with the single. so you get, you know, some idea of what you want to do if you wanna add suggestions." and just like that, baekho has jihoon's attention. he's a nice guy, he's been with gold star for a while, but they never really spoke much. at least not after he debuted, he has been spending a lot more time alone in the dance studio. learning other group's choreographies because it was easier. if he did it on his own, he was sure he would have gotten himself into this situation a lot sooner. maybe sooner was gonna be better at this point. jihoon feels he is too old to be doing this. not being an idol, being an idol is what he wanted, but debuting solo. he was sick and tired of being alone all the time, now he gets to experience of joy to promote alone. the thought alone makes him sigh as he looks at his reflection in the mirror. he looks fine, it's just in his head.

"i assume you have the demo of the title track?" he asks finally, stopping his arms from folding over his chest and shoving them in the pockets of his sweatpants. it makes him look less defensive, yeah?

"yeah, we got it."

"you have any ideas?"

"i wanted to hear what you thought about the song."

there is a grin that tugs at the corners of jihoon's lips, what was with people caring about his opinion all of a sudden? he doesn't mind it, but its weird having freedom to this extend.

"i definitely want to have a duet part, with a girl, i also.. want it to be bouncy? like, i want it to have a bounce in the steps." he starts to explain and its weird, he already has ideas, plenty of them. it was just gonna be hard to communicate them. would they get approved? would this whole thing get scrapped? would gold star approve further?

"see? you have ideas. lemme put on the music and, you know, show me what you had in mind."

[liverobinreaction]

DC, Writing and Fanfiction

I got a question from a friend out of the blue the other day asking me what the real difference between fanfiction and 99% of comics (specifically the DCU) was. At first I thought it was a lead up to a joke because we had just been ragging on the recent depictions of specific characters, so I answered with some snarky answer about one being a passion project and the other being funded.

And then he flipped it back on me by pointing out that most comics nowadays are being written who grew up reading the originals and are now exploring ideas and situations the original authors never intended to put them in. More specifically, modern comic book writers are fans who have pitched their own pet project to DC and got it greenlit, giving them the chance to write the stories they’ve spent years dreaming about with characters they didn’t originally make.

Now this has an obvious similarity to most fanfiction, and as a fanfic writer myself, it’s pretty funny (and heart warming) to see how the idea of ‘canon’ in comic books has begun to be a nebulous concept dependent on what your favourite issues are. There are obviously some fans who would go purple in the face at that statement, and still deride fan-made content as ‘fanfiction’, usually said or written in such a way that it’s meant to be understood as bad. I could write a whole thing on fanfiction and how society views it, but for the sake of my own sanity, I won’t.

Anyway, from what I’ve seen, comic books (and especially the DCU) has this strange relationship with fanfiction that is fascinating to see. My friend made an comment about how he finds it interesting “comics fans dismiss something as "fanfic" when DC has spent the last 6 years doing Watchmen fanfic that is more shameless wish fulfilment and shoehorning than most of Ao3.” Because of the multitude of writers, there is no real correct interpretation of a character or story. Are there core concepts and themes? Certainly! But how they are expressed is entirely up to writer and artist.

It’s why I find people being ‘anti-[character]’ so fascinating. I personally associate ‘anti-[x]’ with like. Things that are usually moral or justice based, (again, a whole different can that I am not opening), not people who don’t like (or even hate) a character. I’m not saying that disliking a character is wrong, there are plenty I personally am uninterested in, but I do find it a really funny way to say ‘I don’t like this character’. Or perhaps more specifically: ‘I don’t like how this character has been written.’ Because circling back to my initial point: the original characters no longer exist, which is a good thing in my view. Take the Simpsons for example; its current decline and the way it’s warped the characters into farces of the originals because the show is so determined to stay funny or unchanging. With comics though, it seems like you are given the basics of the characters and told to go wild.

It’s pretty freeing to think about. Of course there will be interpretations that make you go: you did not understand the original, huh. But again, it kind of just. Shows the potential that modern comic books now have by taking on writers who were fans.

Was there a point to this? Nah, not really. I’ve just been thinking about it for a while and couldn’t study until I finally unleashed this out of my head. But if there has to be a takeaway, I’d say it’s this: comics are moving to include such a wide range of talented writers and artists that dismissing specific thoughts and theories as mere ‘fanfic’ kind of misses the whole point of it.

Also calling yourself anti-[character] is really fucking funny.

[swimtip43]

No Extra Errors With Minecraft

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