#and who she could become

[autisticempathydaemon]

Ask, and you shall RECEIVE.

(Even if you didn’t ask, this infodump was bound to happen eventually.)

Under the cut: My Alexis design choices- why she’s Vietnamese, autistic, Southern, and other miscellaneous details that I couldn’t figure out how to work into my fics or will be included in the future.

Alexis's autism:

In making Alexis autistic, I got to explore the really interesting way that vampirism is not only a figurative disability but also affects actual disabilities. I see often, in fantasy, magic curing stuff like that, and though that is a valid perspective to tell, it’s not my favorite. Alexis having been a sonal energetic who struggled to maintain her magic is meant to parallel the autistic difficulty with vocal regulation. Though this is fixed by becoming a vampire, it was really important to me that her autism only changed and not went away completely. 

Other autistic traits I gave her: 

Discomfort with eye contact (though this is also trauma-induced). 

Sensory difficulties, especially after her senses heightened after her turning, that can result in shutdowns. 

A typically blunt, stoic affect stemming from alexithymia.

Alexithymia is the word for difficulty with processing, regulating, and expressing emotion, I shit you not, I did not make that up. 

I will probably explore her alexithymia in the future through the lens of her trying to disentangle her own emotions and Sam’s emotions transferred to her through their maker/progeny bond. 

Her difficulty with vocal modulation is also me taking creative liberties with selective mutism. In a Prissy AU I’m working on, I will be working with this more explicitly. 

Backstory stuff:

Giving Alexis a Southern accent was a really early choice I made when I wanted to do a fan audio of her dialogue in my “Alexis meeting Darlin” fic. I thought it’d be really interesting and poignant for the listener to hear her speak and immediately think “Oh. That’s right. She and Sam weren’t always like this; they used to have something in common.” It’s also one of the only accents I know how to do, and I wanted her and William to have shared history in New Orleans, so it stuck.

Making Alexis Vietnamese was, on the surface, a narcissistic choice, but I still stand by it. I make almost all the Redacted characters Asian to heal the inner child, and the French influences give her another connection to Will. Then, when viewing her through that lens, I saw a lot of ways she could be read as that Asian temptress/femme fatale/vamp/dragon lady/ice queen, and I wanted to explore the depth she has beyond that.

I’ve made Alexis, to my knowledge, the only character that, willingly and under no duress, chose to become a vampire, because I think that’s a very interesting perspective to explore. Yes, there is this loss of magic and mortality that comes along with vampirism. Yes, you lose a life you had before, but my Alexis didn’t like that life. This new life gave her independence and immortality, and I like the idea that someone came into that choice eyes wide open, ya know? Like, it’s not just a thing you learn to live with; for some people, it’s really cool.

I haven’t settled on this, haven’t really decided if I’m sticking with it or not, but if my Alexis is a Vietnamese vampire who was born in 1950’s New Orleans, she’s got some good, old-fashioned Catholic guilt comin out the wazoo. 

Miscellaneous details:

If Will gave Alexis a diadem- and I insist that he did because he loves his children unconditionally- I picture a Laurel-style crown, just like Vincent’s, studded with magnolias with jade leaves and marble petals. Magnolias are the state flower of Louisiana and, I think, are prettiest at night just like vampires. On top of that, both marble and jade are prized Vietnamese exports, and my Chinese/Hmong William would follow the tradition of giving jade to daughters to protect them and to grow more valuable with age with that daughter.

@mr-laveau wanted to know where Alexis has been during canonical events, and I have thought about this some and might explore this in future fics.

During the Inversion, she was with Will, because both of them felt their progenies’ terror, and both were helpless to do anything since it was during the day.

When Sam truly and completely falls for Darlin- I don’t know when this would be; the BA, maybe?- Alexis is alone in her part of the Solaire property, and she feels the exact moment Sam gives his heart away. I am definitely writing this one, and I am not looking forward to it, because it will hurt me /lh

[skyrigel]

Simon had him and you all convinced that it was just sex and nothing more.

“No attachment.” He always said, everytime — sometimes so hurried and forgotten that it's just mumbled against your mouth before he's shoving his tongue down your throat.

Sometimes with so much urgency that it's lost between your moans, no attachment, babe, no attachment. And you believed him because it was really just sex, wasn't it ? There were no pretty dates and no fancy dinner at ritz, maybe those poorly wrapped ones he pretended he had not ordered and takeouts he brought along...but oh please, no attachments!

But maybe sometimes about those walks in the city where he would not so subtly grasp your hand, and you would catch him stealing glances at you while a teenager fiddled with his guitar, rhyming she came, my world lit with narcotic, I am addict.

No attachment but Simon's standing outside your workspace when it's raining —“I thought you might need it.” holding up the umbrella but those two words were there again when you were knew deep in the passanger seat and he was eating you out... because it was casual, right ? No attachment.

And it really didn't burn and ached until you got sick, real sick — puking your guts out and coughing until your ribs gave up, surely he wasn't the best role model of no attachment when he was panting to death as he picked your unconscious frame from the floor, you still remember the faint whisper of his ‘please don't leave me, please, please don't —’ over and over.

And if he wanted for no attachment then he should be gone. Gone and not come back because it was just sex...

Simon shouldn't be mopping the floor, and stirring your soup and touching your forehead every five minutes.

No attachment then why he's loading your grocery and taking out trash and doing your laundry, why he's wiping your tears and telling you it's going to be alright.

Why he's not leaving like he always did because there were no attachment right, but he's right here, tucking you in bed and washing your hair and reading you book.

“Is it some eccentric joke ? Why this Zaid is always growling ?—also when you get alright... we're gonna try it out, lovie.”

You blushed, but it wasn't just what he was suggesting but that word, it felt good.

“S-say it again.” You whispered, shifting your head in pillow. Simon turned back a page he was reading from, your scrunchie on his wrist.

“Zaid growled—” You screwed your face,“—oh, we'll try it—”

“last word. Your last word.”

“Oh.” He said, “Lovie...you don't like it ?”

You shaked your head, sniffing very unsexy-ly

“Call me that...I love it.” Simon pushed up the book up his face, his neck was pulsing with his many veins and you knew the blush that would be blooming on his hard face. Cute.

“Again.” You tilted your head, to get a look at his flushed out face.

“Okay Lovie...sleep now.” He grumbled, flicking your bedside lamp off and bookmarking the book with one of your scrunchie he removed from his wrist.

“Huh...Good night baby.” You said, waiting to be corrected, waiting for those two words to come and upside down it all.

But they never came, like they never even existed, never had a meaning to them at all.

No attachment, lost forever in darkness.

“G'night lovie.” He said so sweetly, and when you closed your eyes this time, you only saw daylight.

Grim Reaper! Simon

Masterlist

[starry-bi-sky]

my martha knight au in a nutshell:

Danny/Martha: see up here?

Danny/Martha: *taps skull*

Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage

-----------

Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*

Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--

Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--

Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--

Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--

-------------

Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself

Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)

---------------

Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid

---------------

Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--

Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!

Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?

Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)

---------------

Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.

Danny/Martha: do you understand me

Falcone:... crystal, ma'am

---------------

Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*

Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*

Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--

(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)

---------------

Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.

Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.

Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]

[sharkface]

If there are supposedly hordes of trans women sniffing out shy moody androgynous goth boys and turning them into extroverted freaky raver puppygirls explain why hasn't it happened to me yet. Am I not pretty enough

[patch-of-roses]

Loop uses they/them the same way you say, "Someone left their wallet behind." There's a constant disconnect and unfamiliarity with them, even when they're referring to themself.

[firestorm09890]

Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats

[mohntilyet]

continued rook-lucanis sketches from the last week or so <3

[eerna]

me explaining why Will/Elizabeth/Jack love triangle was a perfect little one-movie arc that wasn't present in the final movie because it was never about choosing and instead just about dynamics and character development so they all outgrew it by then

[hildegardladyofbones]

One of the best things about Disco Elysium by far is that it does not fear ugly women. The world is full of ugly men, but ugly women are so hard to come by.

[deerest-deer]

lottie + hugs

[regina-del-cielo]

Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but

considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill

Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"

But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.

They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.

It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.

I don't know I just think it's particularly neat

[travelling-hydaelyn]

Lahabrea possessed Thancred before this questline even started which means these are back to back Laha interactions. Here is how he greets the WoL in the Waking Sands immediately after his Disney villain introduction.

Meanwhile in Minfilia's solar:

presumably he took a brief break from running Alphinaud's errands to go dramatically laugh at the WoL

[softly-and-suddenly]

People are so boring about classic literature sometimes. Like I know it’s cool to be critical of men in books from the 19th century or whatever but it just leads to ripping out all of the nuance in favor of “Uh all of the Brontë men were evil and abusive and that’s all there is to those characters.” Say something interesting. I’m begging you

[aardvaark]

im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.

[wyfy-meltdown]

It's mentioned that in every timeline Sayaka contracts and becomes a magical girl, she becomes Oktavia.

I think this says a lot about Sayaka's mental state. Even if Hitomi doesn't confess to Kyousuke, even if Sayaka and Kyousuke were to date, Sayaka would still become Oktavia.

Maybe it's a case of regretting what she wished for, or falling out of love with Kyousuke, or that her relationship with Kyousuke didn't work out how she had wanted it to. Regardless, something always goes wrong when she makes her wish; and I find that very fascinating.

UPDATE: Sincerely unhappy with how this original post came out (too much focus on Kyousuke which reduces Sayaka's character in a way I don't like); please go to the reblog version.

[blaithnne]

CBS Ghosts is my new guilty pleasure so take my new OCs. The Blanchet family were distant French cousins of the Woodstones who visited the house in the early 1900s, only for a violent house robbery to take the life of their youngest daughter, Mercedes, and her loyal self appointed guard dog, Horse. Only 8 years old, it takes some time for Mercedes to understand her fate, and for some time she’d be very distressed that her family seem to be ignoring her. On the bright side, the other ghosts are there to try and make things easier, though the misfit collective have a hard time caring for a child given their circumstances, and conflicting ideas on how best to raise a little girl.

Of all the ghosts, she is closest with Thorfinn. He has a soft spot for the little girl.