#and yeah i could read fic but i dont feel like i want anything different or expanded on really

[scarletiswailing347]

need to find a fanfic writer bestie or something cause im in the mood (always in the mood) to draw for fanfics but i have a Lot of trouble doing so without being told first (mostly cause i have a lot of trouble reading fanfics period lol)

[cj-kenobi]

i just finished a book series for the first time in. a long time. I've been keeping up with it since i was like 13. what the Fuck do i do now how do i recover from this event what do i do with my life

[ellecdc]

Nsfw!

Moonwater is a bit new pairing for me and i love it too much but i always wonder how the dynamic are in the bedroom, i really dont think both men are anything other than rough.

I mean when needed the boys would be gentle but most of the time i dont think so? Remus, maybe? could be gentler but during full moon he’s an animal but regulus tho, i dont see him as the gentle type.

What do you think?

oooou ok ok I like it, I like it; let's discuss below

CW: discussing sex and dynamics, NSFW, mdni 18+

So, this first part is going to be my own personal opinion based off of who I am as a person, and my views may not be shared within the fandom. I personally struggle with super abrasive dom/sub dynamics where a male character is very overbearing, controlling, etc. THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LIKE ANY DOM/SUB DYNAMICS, just that fics where a male character is being super aggressive and demeaning and such really aren't my vibe, if that makes sense?

I personally struggle imagining our sweet, sad boy Remus as being super mean in bed? Doesn't mean I don't think he's in charge, especially in poly!scenarios because when there's that many people in bed, someone has to run the show lol, but I don't see him as super bossy and assertive.

Now, keeping in mind that this is my interpretation on a character who literally doesn't exist (which is so sad wtf), my version of 'dom!remus' looks more like a very assured, confident guy in bed; he knows what he's doing, he's good at it, and he knows how to get everyone where they're trying to go (i.e., orgasm city, obviously). He takes care of everyone in bed, and (in the case of poly!marauders or poly!wolfstar) he certainly redirects anyone's naughty (bratty) behaviour (read: sirius), but I think he'd also be super communicative and understanding that it's a dance, not a battle which adds to his assuredness and confidence in bed because people feel safe with him - they know that he knows what he's doing and can let go because they trust him with their safety and their pleasure - and he's in bed with his partner's, not his adversaries.

I've often imagined his love language (how he shows love) to be acts of service and physical touch, which I think goes hand in hand with how he is in bed; when he's in a relationship with these ships, he's making love, not just fucking

HOWEVER.....

I think you're right...some things definitely change around the full moon. I think leading up to the moon (depending on if it was a manic moon or if he was moonsick) there'd be a very noticeable change in him. For manic moons - he'd be a little more desperate, a little rougher (while still being our sweet guy as mentioned above lol), and I think there would be way more sex. He'd be insatiable and obsessed with you; "come on dovey, one more for me, yeah? you're so good, so good for me; i know you can do one more". Good luck trying to pry him from between your legs.

if he was riddled with moonsickness (immediately after every moon or leading up to a bad moon where he is sore and such), i think he might be a bit of a switch? He'd want to be held and cherished and taken care of - he'd nearly cry in awe every time you got on your knees to give him a lazy, gentle blowjob, or if you were in the mood, he'd lay back and let you ride him (he actually loved it - thought you looked beautiful up there)

Now for Regulus lolololololol

No one who grew up in the dynamics Regulus did is vanilla in bed, I'm sorry. (and I come from a place of authority in this - I relate a little too well to Sirius [though not as violent, obviously]). Honestly? I could see Regulus being mean. And not in a super demeaning way that makes you feel small or embarrassed (again, this is my preference), but he takes pleasure in surprising you by suddenly flipping you over and taking you from a different angle. By suddenly and without warning changing the rhythm of his thrusts from soft and slow to deep and punishing. He'd love marking you up - possessive af and making sure everyone and anyone knew that not only were you taken, but you were his. In the same vain, I picture him as a bit of a sadist/masochist but again, not in a super violent or demeaning way. He'd like for the fuck to be a little rough, a little hard; he loves the mixture of pleasure and pain - wants to be bit so hard he bleeds and wouldn't mind doing the same to you if you asked for it. I also think he'd be willing to try a lot of new things in bed, and some of his favourite sex is when you fuck him with a strap [if you're fem or afab].

Together?

I think Rem is still in charge - again, he's confident and assured in the bedroom and everyone trusts his authority and trusts him to keep them safe and satisfied. He would keep Reg from getting too rough or going too hard and would constantly check in to make sure you were still good with everything going on. He'd also be able to satiate any need in Reg regarding his masochistic tendencies. I believe Reg would bottom in the dynamic, but again, I think sometimes depending on the moon and how Rem is feeling mentally - he'd experiment more fluidly with Reg.

I've also mentioned before that I believe Purebloods have a breeding kink and with Remus' animalistic side due to his lycanthropy, that he would too. So I think there would be a lot of using cum as lube, taking turns filling you up with their cum, maybe some snowballing??? jesus christ I'm a sick fuck lmfao. anything to do with cum would send those boys spiralling, "no no babygirl, don't waste it" Rem would coo as he used his fingers to push cum back into your hole. or "whose do you want next, amour? Mine or Rem's?"

And I think you're right, when the time called for it, these boys would be so fucking good at making you feel nothing short of fucking worshipped. The soft, hungry gazes, the lingering and soothing touches, the praises falling from their lips as they gave you everything they got. I'd cry I think; they'd reduce me to tears for sure.

[totheblood]

superposition. (two)

pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader

summary: ellie gives you lesson number two and you get an A on your test! yay.

warnings: 18+, SMUT, cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint... the ai audios for this one is?????? just don't listen to it around people pls

a/n: smut is so not my strong suit but like... i tried!! please know i'd love feed back and all reblogs and replies and asks are welcomed and encouraged... i love u all so bad i hope u like this.. ai audios at the end are again... steamy?

read part one to this fic here!

"why dont we collide the spaces that divide us?"

You think your first date was a success.

Malia, your date, did everything right. She held open the door for you, made you laugh, and walked you home with your hand in hers. Her hands were soft, contrasting Ellie’s calloused fingers and dry hands, and by the end of the walk they had grown clammy. She smelled like coconut milk and pink pepper, and her ginger hair stretched passed her shoulders. When she spoke her tone was gentle, her words almost sickly sweet as they fell from her lips. On paper she was perfect.

But as the two of you approached your apartment building and her cherry-flavored lips met yours, it wasn’t like you had imagined. You were unsure if you sitting in Ellie’s lap earlier that night had anything to do with the sour taste left in your mouth as you gave her another kiss goodnight, but it certainly wasn’t helping.

“We should do this again.” Malia practically shouted as you walked up the stairs to your building's entrance. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“We should,” An odd feeling settled in your chest. “Text me, yeah?”

“Okay, I will.” Her smile held warmth in it, her cheeks growing red. It was obvious she was really into the date and while your chest swelled with pride, it also didn’t swell with the same affection she was harboring. A part of you assumed that love didn’t happen gradually and that your feelings would only grow as time went on, but you couldn’t be sure of that at this moment. All you knew was that she was practically perfect, but she wasn’t Ellie.

The whole night all you could think about was the fact that everything she did was the complete opposite of what Ellie would do. Your whole brain felt muddy as you searched around in your bag for keys wondering why you suddenly felt the need to compare your date to your best friend. It would never work out between you and Ellie anyways… right?

It wasn’t like you hadn’t found Ellie attractive when you first met her, but you were inexperienced and way too shy to flirt with her. As a result, the friend zone became a permanent place for you and Ellie. There was a comfortable haze that settled in the air when you were with her and it was a growing fear of yours that something could jeopardize it, and knowing Ellie that was entirely plausible. 

You wouldn’t go to the lengths of saying that Ellie was a ‘fuck boy’ but it was clear she got around. On many different occasions, you had let yourself into her apartment and been met with varying girls, all of whom Ellie claimed she would never call back. You had to actively ignore the disappointment you felt each time you interrupted her with someone, and the anxiety at your throat when she claimed she was already over them. You knew Ellie would never abandon you like that, but it was still a possibility.

Whatever feelings you had when you first met her, however, were now shoved down into a deep place in your brain that was threatening to come to the surface again. You didn’t want her to be anything but ‘your Ellie’ and you desperately wanted to remain ‘her petal’. At this moment there was nothing more important to you than keeping the small semblance of domestic bliss that you had with her.

As you hung up your bag and began to take off your coat you felt your phone vibrate in the pocket. It was almost perfect timing from Ellie seeing as you would have spent the entire night searching for your phone and thinking Malia had robbed you. 

E: How’s the date going? Or how did it go? 

E: Unsure of my timing rn.

Y: it WENT well… she was cute

E: Did you use any of my techniques?

Y: no nothing happened, we just kissed goodnight and then she left

Y: plus you didn’t teach me any techniques you just made out with me

Y: hoping that was free lesson cause idk if i can afford the ellie williams tuition

E: That’s boring.

E: No action? I mean it’s Friday night.

E: It’s always gonna be free for you, Petal.

Y:  no action :( 

E: Poor baby. 

E: We should fix that.

E: Want me to come over? We can smoke and you can tell me all about this very boring date.

Y: IT WASN’T BORING STOP THAT

Y: and yes, my answer is always going to be yes to smoking with u

E: When you got so high that one time and bit me…

E: Don’t bite me again.

E: Wait actually…

Y: perv

E: Shut up.

You got undressed and changed into the same outfit that you slept in every night, an old t-shirt and grey sweatshirts. For a moment you contemplated not taking off your makeup, wanting to look nice for Ellie, but your need for comfort won you over this time. It wasn’t too long later that Ellie was making her way into your apartment and placing her backpack down on the floor. You moved to stand in the doorframe of your bedroom shooting a pointed look at Ellie.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” She removed her coat and threw it over the couch revealing her own casual outfit underneath: A loose t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Fuck, she looked good in those swea-

 “You should really knock, Ellie,” This same lecture had poured from your mouth every time she did this, but she never stopped. Truth be told, Ellie liked the idea of coming home to you, just letting herself in and setting her shit down as she had just done. It was a small act in the large umbrella of romantically ambiguous things the two of you had gotten used to doing.

If Ellie was being honest with herself she would finally admit that whatever relationship the two of you had always bordered on the verge of no longer being platonic. She would just find herself doing things for you that she would never do for anyone else. She always let you smoke for free, voted on whatever movie you wanted to watch during movie night just to see you smile, and she was doing shit like she had done tonight. 

The minute you left for your date Ellie was glued to her phone, patiently waiting for you to tell her the date went to shit and that you needed her to come over and light up with you. As the night went on Ellie found herself anxiously bouncing her leg and obsessively checking your location. She was supposed to be working tonight, but instead, she was cyberstalking her best friend who was on a date. This time it was her turn to feel like a loser.

“Then why did you give me a key?” She walked over to you, hands in her pockets as she leaned up against your door frame. Your oversized t-shirt swallowed you whole hiding the shorts you had on underneath. You looked so at home, so comfortable, and everything in Ellie’s head turned to mush as she imagined pulling you into her by your hips and kissing the lecture right off your lips.

“For emergencies.” Your eyes instinctively rolled at her but you knew you could never be mad at her. You secretly liked it as much as she did. 

“I thought it was an emergency. You know, that your date was sooo boring that you needed me to come and take care of you.” From her pocket she pulled out a skinny plastic container, popping open the top with her pointer and thumb and shaking the joint into her hand. “Plus, I bought you free weed so you can’t be too mad at me, Petal.”

“It wasn’t boring, stop saying that.” You took the joint from her hand and led her over to your side table where you kept your lighter. Placing the tip of the joint between your lips you attempted to light your lighter as you sat on your bed, but failed. 

“The fact that you still don’t know how to use your lighter is beyond me.” Ellie walked over to you, taking the lighter from your hands. “What would you do without me?” 

You were about to roll your eyes when Ellie’s free hand found the bottom of your chin, lifting it up slowly so you were looking up at her from your place on the bed. She towered over you in this position, her eyes trained on your lips where her joint was hanging from your mouth. She quickly lit the lighter and loosely grabbed your chin, bringing it close to her other hand where she lit the joint for you. She was unsure of where this bout of confidence came from, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t have several fantasies about you that began this way. 

Dazed, you stared up at her watching her hooded green eyes take you in. For a moment, you forgot what you were doing when she knocked her knees gently against yours. 

“Suck.” She commanded, voice low and sultry. In response your eyebrows knit together in confusion, not fully understanding what she was trying to say. “The joint, Petal. Take a hit.” 

Her voice came out in a whisper that would have made your knees weak if you were standing up, but you happily obeyed her, taking a drag. You took a deep inhale allowing the familiar burn to sit comfortably in your chest. Ellie removed her hand from your chin and sat down next to you. You almost whined at the loss of contact. 

As you usually did, you passed the joint over to Ellie, watching as she took a hit and blew smoke into the room. She was in her element, here with you and taking care of you in the only way she knew how. All of the things she refused to share with you were shoved deep down into a place she was forgetting the name of right now. All that mattered was you.

 When she passed it back to you she smiled, watching as your eyes became half-lidded and calm. You were in your soft place, a perfect place to stop. Ellie took another hit and clipped it, shoving it back into its original container and back into her pocket. 

“So,” She began, leaning back on both her hands and turning towards you. “How did it actually go?”

“I think it went well,” You smiled causing Ellie to instinctively smile back at you. “She was cute, really nice, laughed at all my jokes.”

“She must really like you then,” Ellie laughed to herself. “Cause your jokes are shit.” 

“Oh, fuck you.” You giggled, leaning into her. When you sat back upright Ellie had a wide grin planted on her face. 

“What?” You questioned her.

“Did you kiss her?” Ellie’s smile faltered slightly, her eyes telling her true intentions. She wanted to know if the girl you went on a date with was a better kisser than her. 

“Yeah.” You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously.

“Was it good?” Ellie’s smile was completely gone by this point.

“Not as good as with you.” You confessed, and just like that Ellie’s smile was back. “I mean it just wasn’t as good, but it was a first date what do I expect? Maybe it’ll be better next time.” Gone, again.

“Next time?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see where it goes.” You shrugged, matching Ellie's posture with your hands behind you.

“Maybe you just need more lessons.” Her eyes were fixed on yours, red and glossed over. 

“Maybe.” You blinked over at her, mouth going dry. “What are you getting out of it?”

“I’m just a really good friend, I guess.” She joked, hitting your shoulder with hers.

“Yea.” You whispered, eyes glancing at her lips.

“Ready for another lesson, Petal?” Her voice was steady, her high giving her the confidence sobriety couldn’t. All you could do in response was nod. She pushed herself off the bed and gently tapped the side of your exposed thigh. “Okay, lay back on the bed for me.” 

Quickly, you obliged, lifting your legs onto your floral bedsheet. Everything around you felt like silk from your high, the sheets, Ellie’s hands, the pillow that you rested your head on. 

“Good girl.” Ellie smiled, getting back on the bed, and sitting on her knees with her legs tucked underneath her. Gently, she leaned forward and pressed a soft peck on your lips, wiping off any trace of Malia. It wasn’t like the kiss the two of you shared earlier, your tongues weren’t down each other's throats and her hands remained at her side. It was slow, tantalizing almost, and when she pulled away a girlish smile spread across her face. When she sat back on her knees her hand hovered over your stomach. “It’s okay if I touch you here?”

You were rendered speechless, she was being so soft and gentle with you that it made you like putty in her hands. You eagerly nodded, causing Ellie to laugh. “I’ll tell you everything I’m doing, Petal. Maybe you’ll be able to teach your boring date what to do next time.” Her hands slipped under your shirt and skimmed the base of your stomach. Your breath hitched in your throat, hindering any ability to tell her your date wasn’t boring. At this point, she could say whatever she wanted to you and you would take it. 

“I’m gonna take these off, okay?” Your eyes peered down at her, nodding once again. She pulled your shorts and underwear down together, painfully slow. She let them rest at your knees and lifted up your shirt that was covering your center. Suddenly, you felt extremely shy but didn’t make an effort to stop her. 

“You look so pretty, Petal.” She cooed as if she could read your mind. “Almost want to kiss it.”

“You can.” You weakly replied, knowing you were dripping from her words alone.

“Not so fast. We haven’t gotten there, yet. Basics, Petal. I thought you knew this.” Ellie leaned forward and pressed a kiss below your belly button, earning a whimper from you. 

“Be as loud as you need, okay?” Another kiss, another whimper. “I wanna hear you.” She moved to kiss you on the inside of your thigh. A gasp fell from your lips causing Ellie to smile against your skin. “Need you to tell me how good I’m doing.” 

“I’m gonna touch you now,” Her pointer and middle finger tapped your clit. Ellie was so focused on your cunt that she didn’t see your mouth fall open. “Right here.” 

Slowly she began rubbing tiny circles into your clit, applying light pressure. Your eyes fluttered closed, and a small moan escaped from your lips. Almost as if on cue, Ellie began applying more pressure, her eyes now focused on your contorting face.  

“Hey, hey, look at me.” She coaxed making your eyes glance at her. She looked so pretty, so focused on you that it made your pussy clench around nothing. “Feel good?”

Another nod.

“Use your words.” She picked up her pace making you scream out. Ellie almost moaned herself, just at the sight of you. “Mhm…Tell me how good I’m making you feel.”

“Fuck, Ellie,” Your breathing was jagged as you felt a knot tighten in your stomach. “It feels so,” She applied a little more pressure, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. “Fuck.” 

“You’re doing so well, baby.” Her movements were calculated, and her words were only egging you on.

“Ellie, I think I’m gonna-”

“Do it. Cum. I know you can do it, baby.” She was pressing hard and fast circles into you and leaned forward to press another kiss into the inside of your thigh. All it took was the words of encouragement from her and you were coming undone, screaming out her name in between rapid breaths. When Ellie was sure you were done she pulled her hand away and licked her fingers.

You collapsed into the bed, eyes closed and trying to steady your breathing. When you opened them Ellie was gone, causing you to sit up sharply, wondering if you had just fantasized what just happened. 

“Ellie?” You called out, looking towards your door where she was returning with a washcloth in her hands. 

“Just needed to get this.” She lifted up the washcloth and shook it as she sat back down next to you on the bed. “You kind of made a mess.” She chuckled. 

“Oh,” was all you said as you glanced down to where you were dripping onto your bed. 

“Can I?” You nodded, ignoring her red cheeks as she cleaned you up. 

“Thanks for that.” You started as you watched Ellie pull your pants back up. “I’ll see if I can teach Malia anything. I think your lessons will really help, you know.” And just like that the gentle smile that Ellie had plastered on her face since she began cleaning you up was gone. 

It was almost as if a part of her believed she could fuck you into loving her but it was becoming increasingly obvious these really were just lessons to you. 

“Yeah.” She sighed, standing up and throwing the washcloth in your hamper. “I should get going. It’s getting late.” 

“Oh, okay.” You smiled up at her, hoping to see her smile back. She didn’t. “Text me when you get home?”

“Will do.” 

And just like that she was gone.

ai audios:

[jeongin-lvr]

OK ok, but yk that fic about jeongin and beomgyu? Now, imagine jeongin pulls the “I’m going on tour” card and your bestie beomgyu pulls up and reader can’t HELP but want some of that d and lil beomgyu gets revenge on jeongin girlfriendddddddd?

I love your brain mwah… for those interested this is the original ask :p

Jeongin didn’t like it but it had to be done; he had to leave for tour. It was only a few short months but to him it felt like an eternity, and he was sure that he’d die in that little span of time. He’d told you with his whole heart that you’re his even when he’s away, whispering late at night the few days before he had to leave that, well, he loves you but also that you’re forbidden from doing anything without him. And by anything he means touching yourself, even if you’re desperate. And you could tell by the stern dimness of his eyes that he meant it. “Don’t even think about it, baby,” Jeongin demands and for a second you pout, wondering what you’ll do when times get needy for you. Jeongin was strict, very, very strict. Honestly it was a little cruel but he was set in his ways. And if he says no touching yourself, he really fucking means it.

The thing about Jeongin is that he knows you too well— he knows when you’re needy and he definitely knows when you’re aching for him. So he wasn’t worried about anything like that. He knew that you were very obedient (most of the time) and you always managed to do as you were told. However, he had the complete opposite feeling toward his supposed best friend. The same man who spent hours yearning for you; groaning into his hand as his fingers wrapped around himself, pretending it was you. Oh, Jeongin knew it all. Beomgyu was more than willing to pounce as soon as Jeongin was away. Jeongin found himself demanding another thing of you, “And while im away, love, don’t even think about talking to Beomgyu,” to you, that was simple. You never truly longed to converse with your boyfriend’s friends, but when Beomgyu received a text from the very same man, he was livid:

“Dont touch her,” Beomgyu read with a sneer on his face, grimacing as another text loaded, “Even when I’m away she’s still mine.” And Beomgyu suddenly had it set in his mind that he didn’t just want you anymore; he needed you. Not only that, he needed to prove that Jeongin didn’t have as much control over the two of you as he thought.

Quite frankly it was easy. You were dumb, he was conniving. So it didn’t take long before he’d weaseled his way into your life; meanwhile Jeongin sat in a hotel bed across the world, oblivious to how Beomgyu had you bent over the bed right now. Oblivious to the way Beomgyu’s name rolled off your tongue between indecent pants; hips rolling along with every little thrust forward he made into you, drool pooling on the side of your cheek and into the thin fabric of your bed sheets. It really didn’t take long; Beomgyu had you broken for him in a matter of days.

“You dumb fuckin’ girl, going stupid on my cock,” Beomgyu berated between breathless groans. He’d wanted this for so long; now there was no one in his way to stop him from finally having what he wants. He possessed his prize, he didn’t intend on letting this moment go to waste, “Doesn’t that feel nice? Better than your stupid boyfriend, yeah? He can’t make you feel this way— this good.” Beomgyu’s words did nothing but egg you on, cunt clenching around his length— it was so different from your boyfriends. Beomgyu was a little longer, curved different and the lewd stretch of his cock was dizzying. Your boyfriend would just about lose it right now if he saw this; you moaning another man’s name, taking another man’s cock. “Say something, baby, c’mon,” Beomgyu bent to your face, pressing his chest into your sweaty back, aching to hear your voice.

You nodded stupidly, jaw hanging open and eyes fluttering as his big hands came to grip yours; the touch was nothing like Jeongin’s either. Beomgyu’s fingers were colder, his palms bigger and the grip he had on you was harsh. You moaned into the mattress, too dumb to even think about regret. “It’s— fuck, mm, it’s so good! Gyu—“ Beomgyu always loved when you called him that, now he found another reason to love it. His hips smashed into yours quicker, not caring how overwhelming it all was for you. He needed to memorialize this moment forever; capture it not just for himself but for a particular someone who’s kept you away from him longer than needed. Beomgyu’s eyes drifted, falling to your phone that lay unattended a few spaces away from your head. Oh, it was sick, it was borderline evil. But Beomgyu grinned like a mastermind as he let go of your hand and reached for the phone. Your mind was too hazy to realize but he’d swiped left on the screen and opened the camera, giggling slightly as he pressed the red, enticing record button. You didn’t realize he was recording so you moaned his name, and you moaned desperately, wishing he’d moved his hips again with that same needy vigor he had before. Now he was simply rolling your hips against his, the phone stuck on where you sucked him in so good.

“That’s it, say my name,” Beomgyu grinned, moving the camera to sit on the pillow beside your head, getting the view of your fucked out face and his own evil grin. You saw yourself, dumb expression embarrassingly staring back at you, then you saw Beomgyu, wrapping his hands around your waist as he pulled out, leaving just the tip in, eyes falling to the camera again, “What, shy now? Baby, c’mon, don’t be scared…” Beomgyu slammed himself inside of you and this time, the embarrassment you felt melted away, your nails clawing at the sheets. Beomgyu had no shame in this; if anything he felt glee. Pure pride that he’d finally gotten you.

When he saw that video Jeongin sent him a few weeks prior he swore he’d never felt a rage like that; this was just revenge, and it was better than heaven. He hoped that Jeongin would receive this at the worst time; he hoped that he’d feel even a fraction of what Beomgyu had felt just a few weeks ago. Jealous didn’t even begin to describe it.

[slickchickchocolatier]

ↀOUBLE IIROUBLE - CHAPTER FIVE

Warnings: um...yeah...some non-con stuff turned to consensual. read at your own risk, (still a good read though) you all know how i like a good dark fic...this one aint no different but done worry, it gets good. Not proofread...my excuse this time is bc the power outage.....so...yeah. lol.

@heeshees - you're going to like this one. This will be your chapter ;)

@nikstrange - girl with all those edits you be sending me...you're next. lol. dont worry boo...i got you.

Walking out through the double door exit, you saw the parked car before you the moment you stepped out. Heeseung gets out of the front passenger seat and opens the door to the back for you, flashing you with a warm and closed-mouth smile, greeting you as he cradles you into the back seat before returning to his own beside Heejeong.

“How was work?” 

“It was good, thanks.” You faintly returned the smile as you settle in the seat. 

Heejeong was driving this time. While you placed your seatbelt on, he turns back to make eye contact and inquires how your day went.

“Did you have a good day?” 

“Yeah I did, a little busy but good. Thanks.”

Once Heeseung was settled in his own seat, the brothers both paired a soft smile as Heejeong begins driving off, while Heeseung inquires what you were craving for dinner. 

“Anything in particular you want for dinner?” 

“Mmm no not really, whatever you guys feel like having is fine.”

“Oh come girl, we’ve been choosing since you moved in. It’s your turn, tell us…” turning around in his seat, while you sat directly behind, Heeseung peeks back at you. Leaning slightly backwards, his shoulder blades hovering over the center console as his head gently grazes over Heejeong’s shoulder, he displays a toothy grin with narrow eyes as he nudges his chin to you. With the hand that was closest to your leg, he reaches over and gently places his palm right on the edge of your kneecap. 

“What do you want? Baby….sis?” 

You smiled and chuckled nervously at his tone, his words, and the physical contact. Yet the roughness of his hand against your bare skin felt relaxing…and thrilling at the same time. The scent of his and Heejeong’s cologne combined made of the perfect scent as Heejeong’s coolness and the spice of Heeseung’s warmth made up for a pleasant combination. 

His touch was stirring something inside you, but who could possibly blame you? Both men were attractive, smart, successful, and kind. The fact that you were becoming their stepsister was a huge bonus considering they were extra nice to you. 

Far too….nice…..

Gently rubbing his fingertips along your skin, swaying them back and forth, he snaps you out of your dazed state as his tranquil voice hits you like a ton of bricks. It was too calm, almost sentimental….personal….and even sensual. 

“Hmm? Sis? You still thinking about what it is…..we can get you?” His toothy grin transitions to a subtle closed mouth smirk as his narrow eyes widened just a tad, staring right into the depths of your soul through your own peepers. 

“Umm….should we get Indian food?”

Smiling once more, Heeseung nods, as did Heejeong. 

“That sounds good, Indian food it is! We know a really good spot.” Heejeong remarks as he steers the wheel effortlessly with one hand, while resting his chin in his palm, elbow propped against the window.

……….

The boys didn’t lie, they did know of a good spot. You would have never had thought to try out the street food vendors, but once they introduced you to one, ran by a friendly couple that hailed from the beautiful lands of India, you were amazed at just how sensational the food was. 

“Do you know what you want? We can order for you if you like?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” 

“Oh I know you will…”

Smirking while speaking lowly, staring while you gazed at the menu hoisted right under the canopy of the food stall, you didn’t catch his response. 

“Hmm? Sorry did you say something?”

“Nah, just speaking aloud while reading the menu.” He chuckles as he smiles down at you. His smile, it was so dashing with the way he peered down from his height, scoffing just a tad bit of that smooth and mellow voice as he swipes his tongue over the top row of his teeth. He looked so smooth and handsome, yet bashful at the same time. 

“You guys ready?” Heejeong looks back with the same smile, reaching out to you and Heeseung. You both walk up to meet with him at the window, where he continued to dash a devilish smile as he faintly bites down on his bottom lip. 

“Yeah, we’re ready. Just get Y/n the same as us.” 

“You got it.” Heejeong responds handsomely as he turns back to the gentleman at the window and places the order. 

The three of you chose a double benched, picnic table where you sat right next to Heejeong and across from Heeseung.

The owner of the food vendor stall brought out the dishes that Heejeong and Heeseung recommended. The smell was delightful, not to mention, it was a dish that brought you a sense of nostalgia, as you recognize the ingredients. It was a traditional dish that you were fond of, but it had been so long since you last had it.  

Chole Kulche, your favorite.

“Do you know what this is?” Heeseung raised a brow and looked at you with an admiring gaze, watching as you looked at the dish.

“Yeah…yeah I do.” You nodded slightly as you faintly chuckled. It was a dish that you enjoyed immensely and had brought out your love for Indian food to begin with.

Chuckling, Heeseung rests his chin in his palm as he props his elbow next to his plate. "Hmm...then tell me princess…what’s the name of it?” he teasingly asks, testing the accuracy of your knowledge and honesty in a playful and flirtatious manner.

“Chole Kulche.” You chuckled back.

Smiling, he maintained sitting upright in his posture while his chin rested against his palm, blinking with satisfaction. “Good girl…you even know how to pronounce it correctly.” He finishes and he winks at you.

The three of you dined and enjoyed the evening with laughter, just like always, with every meal. They kept you entertained with stories of their childhood, which revealed the development of their close bond as they shared their most valuable moments together, which had always reflected the both of them relying on one another as each other’s backbone. You couldn’t deny it, it had made you a bit jealous seeing as you lacked that sibling bond growing up.

“Are you excited for the wedding?” Heeseung asked as he sips out of his cup, his eyes lingering on you while he raises his brows.

“Yeah I’m pretty excited….its good for my mom that she found your guys dad. I was starting to get a little worried since she had been without any companionship for a while.” You remarked seldomly, taking note of the solid gaze that the brothers issued to one another at the mentioning of your mother being with their father, Danny.

You didn’t know what to make of the look, but it didn’t seem to be one of pleasant value, considering it was a stern and dissatisfying look. So much, that it propelled you to return the question right back.

“What about you guys?”

Heeseung looks down at his plate and smirks, while Heejeong spoke for the both of them.  “We are thrilled to have you and your mother apart of the family.”

Leaving it at that simple statement, you watched as the two went silent and focused on eating, which left you nodding and not pushing for any more questions, you had sensed that you were breaching a sour subject since it was no secret that they had a troubling bond with their father, that was made evident since the first dinner you had with them. Yet you didn’t know why since their father, Danny, had seemed like a jewel, he was nice to your mother and very caring towards you as a father would be to his own daughter.

You had wondered if they had harbored some sort of grudge, perhaps it had something to do with the divorce of their parents, which you had wondered about but never brought up, and from the looks of it, it was best not to. From experience, you knew that divorce between is never easy to handle, especially for a child, much less two siblings.

“Oh, um…how are Yeon Jin and Sa-ra doing?” You asked, changing the subject rather abruptly, breaking the silent awkwardness.

Both boys looked at you with rather wide eyes, yet their look wasn’t so surprising, just simply stared as if they had no idea what you were referring to until Heeseung finally answered. “They’re good.”

“Are they coming to the wedding?”

“Maybe….we’ll see.” Heeseung takes a bite of his food before grabbing a napkin and wiping his fingers as he takes another glance over towards Heejeong, who faintly, nods.

………..

Once you all had arrived at the house, you opted to go straight to bed, seeing as you had an early morning.

“Good night.”

“Night sweet thing.” Heeseung issues as you walk up the stairs.

“Let us know if you need anything.” Heejeong adds.

With a quick shower, brushing your teeth and changing, you plopped yourself on the bed and sunk into the feeling of being enveloped by the cool silk sheets.

Resting your eyes, your phone vibrates, indicating an incoming text. Gazing at the message that you had just received, you saw that it was from Kurt, who expressed how good it was to see you again.

“…Hmm…I wonder….” You mentally noted as you came up with an idea and messaged back.

……………��…………………………………

The morning of the wedding, you aid your mother with her gown and her veil as she takes her bouquet.

“Oh Y/n, you look so pretty, my girl.” Your mother smiles, admiring the simple, floral midi dress you had on. The coloration of fuchsia and violet bounced off the white background of the satin material, it was the perfect dress to adorn for your mother’s wedding, yet you made her swallow her words as you remarked that the beauty, was her.

“Mama, you look so beautiful. I’m so happy for you.”

Walking her over to the alter, behind the grand double doors, you enter through the side as you walk over towards the front row to find your seat, where the boys had already been waiting.

Breaching up, they were seated at the center of the row. Heejeong’s back was facing you, while Heeseung was seated right next to him, facing your direction. Sitting with his legs loosely crossed and his arm resting atop the backing of the seat rest, leaning in as he spoke quietly to Heejeong, you watched as Heeseung suddenly stops his sentence and gawks the very moment he saw you. Heejeong turns and displays the same reaction.

 It was the first they had seen you all morning, much less in that dress that had everyone swooning over you as they watched you walk up, front and center. You couldn’t lie to yourself, the way the two dashing young men noted and stared at you made your heart skip a beat. They looked so dashing with their black suit and tie, it was almost hard to breathe at the sight of them side by side.

Standing up, Heejeong walks over to you as you remained at the edge of the row. Extending a hand out to you, you gently hold on as he greets you with a flashing smile.

“Well hello there, don’t you look pretty today.”

Leading you to the center of the row, he seats you in the center, right in between him and Heeseung, where your back was met with the latter’s arm as it remained in place atop the back rest.

“Hi.” He flirtatiously issues as he flashes a grin.

“Hi.” You chuckled back and fluttered your eyelashes. You couldn’t help but respond back in a flirtatious manner, the boy had it coming, yet you figured some harmless and minor teasing wouldn’t be too bad, so long as it remained within limitations considering that you were now family, despite not related by blood.

Taking a deep inhale of your perfume, Heeseung slightly groans as he finally exhales out. “You look soooo….beautiful.” His eyes trail down and sets home on your exposed thighs as your dress slightly rides up from your seated stance.

“Thank you. You both look very handsome; I like your suits.” You chuckled as you set your gaze at the podium where the priest was preparing for the ceremony.  

During the ceremony, everyone admired at how beautiful your mother looked with her white gown, and Danny standing across, genuinely smiling in bleak happiness. As they took their vows, you noticed how Heejeong and Heeseung both smiled in your direction. Releasing a chuckle while maintaining your gaze at the bride and groom, you merely used your peripherals to gleam a soft peek at the two boys next to you. Softly placing his hand on your thigh, his thumb gently stroking up and down your skin, Heejeong leans into your ear and whispers, “You would look so pretty in a wedding dress.”

Raising a brow as you gave a nervous smile, you bashfully chuckled quietly as you raised a hand and slightly covered your mouth. It was the most flattering compliment you ever received, too bad it had to come from your stepbrother…at least one of them.

“I don’t think I’d look as pretty as mom though.” You modestly responded back.

“Yeah?.....I beg to differ.” His voice going lower, he whispers right back without missing a beat. His words caused you to look over to him and give a soft smile as your eyes trailed off to the side once you saw his handsome gaze, deeply admiring your face.

Sure, it was obvious to you that your stepbrothers may have thought you were attractive, and they were nice to you, practically at your beck and call if you ever needed them to be, yet still, it was hard to avoid giving in each time they coated you with such kind words. But you knew it was going to have to stop, or at least tone down at some point, and perhaps it will during the banquet….

……………………………

Seated at the beautifully adorned round tables, you noticed the placards resting in front of each chair, drafted in delicate calligraphy were the names of each guest, and just as you had secretly arranged….

“Hey, y/n. I’m finally here, sorry I missed the ceremony, but I’m glad I could make it in now.”

You had invited Kurt, as a manner to introduce him to the family since you had recently decided to give him a chance and accept his offer to begin a relationship.

“Oh no worries, here come and meet my family.” You took him by the hands and brought him over to your mother and Danny first, seeing as your two brothers had excused themselves momentarily from the dining setting and went to the open bar.

“Mom, Danny, this is Kurt. We went to high school together and have recently met up.”

“Oh Kurt! I remember you! My gosh it’s been a while! How are you?” Your mother gasped out as she stood from her seat and greeted Kurt with a welcoming hug.

“I’m good Mrs….um…”

“Lee, it’s Lee.” You whispered.

“Lee! Mrs. Lee.” He laughs out.

“Oh its okay, you can call me *your mom’s name here*. This is Danny, my husband.”

Danny stands and welcomes Kurt with a soft smile and a warm handshake. “It’s so nice to meet you, we’re so glad you could make it.”

“Thank you Sir. Congratulations to you both.” Kurt responds back. Conversing with your mother and Danny, your mother pulls you off to the side faintly and inconspicuously whispers, “are you two dating?” to which you nodded.

“We just started a few days ago, he came back to town and we hit it off really well.” You elaborated as you watched Kurt and Danny converse rather enthusiastically about work and Kurt’s travels.

Walking up were Heeseung and Heejeong. You couldn’t be sure with the frenzy that was crowding around, but it looked as if the two boys had harsh looks on their faces as they took notice of Kurt speaking with Danny.

“Oh gosh….can’t they just let things go for one day and be courteous towards their father? It’s your guy’s wedding day.” You whispered to your mother.

“Shh..I know. Just let it be, Its alright.” Your mother whispers back as she holds your hand and rubs it.

“Boys, come meet Kurt, this is uh....” Danny started, bashfully smiling as he caught himself in a tight spot. Kurt smiled back and extended a hand for a welcoming handshake to Heejeong first.

“Hi there, I’m Kurt.”

Heejeong merely looked down at Kurt’s hand before glaring back up at him….then over to you.

Taking the man’s hand, he shakes it softly, but grips hard. “Nice to meet you, I’m Joey.” Heejeong responds back, faintly smiling.

Kurt remained courteous and a good sport as he extends his hand over to Heeseung, who didn’t look much more pleased than his brother. In fact, the moment Kurt had shifted his hand over, Heeseung had all but then rolled his eyes as he took in Kurt’s introduction with Heejeong.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Kurt.” He says once more, smiling as brightly as ever.

Heeseung’s face was tilted off to the side, slightly leaned back with a flare of rough attitude as his eyes glared in your direction. Rolling his tongue in his mouth, displayed thorugh the slightly parted lips, he takes Kurt by the hand and shakes it while introducing himself.

“Nice to mee you…..I’m Ethan.” His voice just as low, if not, lower than Heejeong’s.

“Wow, twins huh? My cousin just gave birth to twins.” Kurt smiles as he attempts to make small talk with your brothers, who remained stagnant with their strict expressions, barely making eye contact with Kurt, instead, they kept glaring over at you.

You figured they were disappointed that you hadn’t told them about Kurt sooner, though it wasn’t your fault, you had only just began dating him a few days ago, a day after when you had texted him, inviting him to the wedding. The next day you had both went out for coffee after your brothers had dropped you off. Kurt was so very kind that you had felt it would be a missed opportunity if you hadn’t taken up his offer. The moment he held your hand across the table at the café was when you knew that that was the chance to take and begin a relationship anew.

Since there was so much to do in preparations for the nuptials, you spent most of the days helping your mother, leaving you no chance to tell your brothers that you now had a boyfriend. Yet you figured that they would eventually welcome Kurt the more they get to know him, assuming that they were displaying a level of a protective nature as brothers.

“Yeah, so…how do you know y/n? Do you guys work with each other?” Heejeong inquires, glancing a wide eyed look over to you before flashing it back to Kurt.

That look…..it was….

“What the Hell was that?”

You mentally noted the outline of Heejeong’s wide eyes and that rather amusing and yet….eerie look that he had just a second ago as he shifted his sights between you and Kurt.

“Oh well….y/n and I went to high school together a while back. I recently just came back to town and met up with her and….well…we hit it off so we just…you know.” Kurt begins to chuckle as he commits a half turn and glances over to you, smiling.

“….No….I don’t know…..enlighten me.” Heejeong spoke as he crosses his arms.

“Oh, um well…we haven’t made it publicly known yet…but um-“

“We’re dating.” You interjected softly. Crossing your own arms, you issued a stern glance of your own back to your two brothers, who both looked at you unpleasantly with stares of anger and disappointment as their countenance reflected their response to your defiance.

“Oh speaking of which, where is Yeon-jin and Sa-ra?” Danny inquires as he looks over to his twin sons.

“They were busy.” Heeseung remarks, crossing his arms, joining the shared stance that you and Heejeong both committed. A battle of harsh stares was exchanged between the three of you.

“Oh boy….it’s going to be an awkward night at the house….” You noted.

…………………………..

The banquet went along well, aside from you and your brothers hardly speaking to one another, yet that didn’t deter from them looking at you nearly the entire time. Only this time, there were no flashing smiles, no chuckles, no affectionate display of gentleness or humor.

“You want a ride home?” Kurt asks.

“Yeah that’ll be nice.” You respond back, not even caring to glance over to your two new brothers.

……………

“They’ll get over it. I can understand being so protective, but this is absurd.”

……………

Dropping you off, you leaned over for a hug, unexpectedly, Kurt places a soft and quick kiss on your lips. Shocked, you chuckled as he bashfully stares at the steering wheel.

“Sorry….I just…I don’t know…” he laughs.

“It’s okay….” You bit your lip as you chuckled once more. Leaning in, you whispered out. “Should we try again?”

Meeting you halfway, your faces reunite in a gentle motion. He kisses you passionately as he reaches up and cups your face as you rest your elbow on the center console.

“See you tomorrow?” He asks.

“Sure.”  You smiled as you tapped his chin.

Bidding goodbye, you walked into the house. All the lights were off, signifying the boys were asleep in their rooms, which gave you a sense of relief, since you three had split from the wedding banquet in extreme awkwardness, not even saying goodbye to each other. As you walked upstairs, you revisited the idea of possibly looking for your own place, seeing as the boys may present an issue if they don’t check their attitudes in regards to you dating Kurt. You’re a grown woman, how could they not be realistic about you dating? You could understand about them being slightly concerned, yet you knew Kurt for years, not to mention their attitude was uncalled for. Fortunately, it didn’t seem to bother Kurt, or perhaps he didn’t take notice, if he did, he was at least a good sport about it and never mentioned it to you.

Quietly entering your bedroom, you tossed your jacket on the lounge chair and began to unbuckle your heels.

“So…”

Your breath hitched as you turned around to the deep voice that emerged from behind, it was Heeseung. Standing by the door, camouflaged in the shadows as he was still wearing his suit from the wedding, he propped himself against the wall with his arms crossed, only the sliver sheen of light from outside peering through the window, provided the source of light for you to make out just a tad bit of his frame and face.

“Wh-what are you doing?....” you asked, still recovering from the shocked fright he gave you.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

His attitude irked you, so much that you decided enough was enough.

“Heeseung….what’s your guys deal? I get it we’re family now, but….I’m a grown woman. With that being said, I’m going to start looking for my own place because this is getting out of hand-“

Cutting you off, his sharp tone inhibited you from finishing your thought.

“Come again?....”

“….I said I’m going to be moving out….and that you both need to not act the way you did earlier….”

“Oooh yes….lets talk about that.” Straightening his posture, he uses his foot to push his frame off the wall as he starts walking towards you, with his arms remaining crossed, he leans in….closely, the light glaring through the window closest to you permitted the sight of his face, which had a smirk….but it was far from dashing or handsome, it was rather crazy, sadistic even…..it was twisted and frightening.

“Lets talk….about today…..hmm?.....Princess?”

“…Don’t….dont call me that….in fact, stop with these pet names…”

“Awww…..that right?....BABY?”

Feeling a sudden grab and tug, you felt his hands wrap around your wrist harshly as he pulls you against his body.

“Wh-what are you doing?! Stop!”

“Nuh-uh. Come here, we need to have a little talk, you and I.”

“Stop! Heeseung let go!”

Plastering your frame against his body, he grabs onto your waist and starts to nuzzle his face against the nook of your neck, causing you to gasp as you jumped up from the shocking sensation of his lips sucking on to your skin. Your reaction…didn’t work in your favor, as it allowed him to gain more leverage in pulling you in, leaving no gap between your bodies.

“Stop! Please stop! Stop…l-let go!”

Groaning against your skin, his arm wrapped around you lower back while his hand cuffs your wrist and pins it behind your back, causing your arm to take a bend at the elbow, leaving only your weak arm free to push him away, yet your measly attempts did nothing but pleasantly antagonize him.

“Shhh….come here…..COME HERE.”

Keeping your wrist pinned to your back, he swoops his hand under your thigh and lifts it, fixing it to the hilt of his hip, using brute strength to levitate your body while he simultaneously sits down on the lounge chair, forcing you to sit on his lap, straddling him as he feeds your legs through the loop holes of chair, under the arm rests.

“There….that’s better…..” he calmly speaks against your throat as he brushes his nose upwards, causing you to tilt your head back, exposing your entire neckline.

“Stop! This is wrong! You’re insane, get off!”

Gasping out a breath against the center of your neck, his parted lips gently brushing aginst your skin as he answers.

“Don’t be like that…..haven’t I shown you kindness and affection?....Haven’t I shown just how much I ADORE you?”

“Stop! Let go! There’s something wrong with you!”

“Those are some pretty strong words princess…..are we fighting? Hmm? Tell me…..” placing a hand on your hip, he starts to motion your body to grind against his crotch as he whispers out the last bit. “Are we fighting?”

Kissing your neck and your chest, he takes advantage of the slight plunging neckline your dress displayed and licks the surface of your cleavage. It all felt so….

“Yeah? You like that don’t you? Wanna moan some more?” rubbing your wrist with his thumb, he maintains his hold on you, keeping your strong arm restrained as he increases the momentum of your movements, steering you to move back and forth, up and down, and in circular motions.

“Tell me baby….since we’re fighting…tell me what I gotta do to fix it…tell me.” 

Kissing your neck, moving your hips, whispering his dark and deep tone against your neck, sending the vibrations of his vocal chords to travel all the way down to your gut, you whimpered out as the sensual feeling of his harden member pressing against your core, barely covered by the thin fabric of your panties, was starting to create a euphoric friction that you couldn’t help but surrender to.

“Come on baby…tell me what I gotta do to fix it….so we can get along…”

Rubbing his hands and massaging them on your waistline, he finally releases your strong arm, only it was too late….for you.

Already too deep in, your body yearned and craved more, yet your mind remained strong.

“S-stop……oh God please…..stop.”

“No princess….dont think I will……I don’t think you want me to…..that’s okay because that’s what I’m here for…..”

Raising the hem of our dress up, pulling your straps down, he rolls the material of your slinky dress to collect around your waist as he exposes as much of your body as he possibly could. Loosening his tie, he uses one hand to start unbuttoning his shirt, all the while his other hand kept steering your motions at the hip.

“Boyfriend hasn’t touched you yet…has he?” he whispers against your skin. “I can tell…its obvious its been a while since you’ve had it…..”

Kissing your lips, you felt yourself melting into him as his hands kept roaming. He pulled, dipped, pushed, and rolled your hips into motions that the depths of the ocean couldn’t compare to. Succumbing to the overwhelming pleasures of your body uniting with his, you moaned out in shaking pleasure, while speaking the words that still lingered in your mind, though it was barely there as you felt yourself losing after a sensational rush of moisture gushes out from your walls, your clit throbbing with desire. Still...you gave it your last shot....

“Oh my God…please….please don’t….mmm...Heeseung.....ugh.”

“Come on baby….lets get along....hm?..…..let me beat it up and kiss it better for you....let me say sorry to it with my tongue. Let me fix it for you.” releasing a prolonged sigh against your skin, he chuckles out a low and dark tone, as he spoke out again....

“Let me fix it."

CHAPTER 6

Authors Notes: Weeeelllll, shits about to get real from here on out folks. ;)

Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry@honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07@raishaii@yangjungwon33 @lhspeachie ; @differentchildwombat ; @prettykia ; @kimsseonu ; @stvrryhee ; @en-thralled ; @hoonzdzbl ; @yuppppp ; @jinniespuppy ; @browsehnnie @prettykia @lprww @they2luv1naia @ellixqz@mimimovv @stvrryhee @moonmoongi @seungjiseyo @csmicvrse @yohanabanana

[moonchildstyles]

fic announcement and sneak peek!

hiiiii besties!!!

I said a while back when I announced columba that I would be coming back with another series for both Tumblr and patreon this summer and that time has come :)))))))))))

for the last four years Ive had this idea in my head for a super special h that ive just let build a home in my heart that kept growing and growing and growing! now ive finally had a chance to write it all out and make him real with a fun story and lots of little details to make him who he is!

I don't want to spoil too much about him just because I want there to be a little mystery for him and theres so many fun details that I think will be really fun to put together when you dont' know what he's up to!

so, starting on June 30th, Rosemary will begin being posted with a new part every friday here on Tumblr! Patreon will be getting early access with the first part being posted on June 16th, and every friday after! an extended sneak peek is also up on my patreon rn!

If you are interested in reading the new story, please wait until June 1st to sign up so you only get charged once at the beginning of the month and theres a full 30 days before the next charge!

you can also check out the Pinterest board I made for the fic!

let me know if you guys have any questions about anything! im sooooo excited and cannot wait for you all to read!

under the cut is a sneak peek :)

—————

"Thank you, Harry!" 

The bow girl's chirping gratitude only had Harry looking at her stiffly with a grumbled Yeah falling from his lips. Just as she had done the last couple of months since she made herself a presence during his shifts, she only gave him a smile before bouncing away with her basket only containing a carton of banana milk and her favorite cookies. She was no longer perturbed by the standoffish responses he gave her. Harry couldn't decide if he liked that or not. 

It was like this at least a couple of times a week. She never did a big shop, only stopping by at the later times to pick up individual ingredients for a dinner she had chatted to him about, or little snacks she couldn't seem to go a day without. During at least one of her trips, she found an excuse to talk to Harry; she asked him about his day if she was close enough to feel comfortable starting a question (Harry never gave her a good answer, honestly), she told him about her own day and what she was shopping for if there was anything specific she had in mind. She almost always had a bow pinned her hair, fluttering behind her and matching whatever soft piece of clothing she had cinched around her form. Harry had even began fishing out a pack of her favorite cookies from his boxes if he was stocking that aisle, just to make it easy if she came in and asked him for assistance. It made the interactions quicker and less bothersome—at least that's what he told himself. 

He knew more about her and her routines than he had any of the hundreds of people he'd met in the last handful of years since he started moving around. Even if that did make him feel a bit guilty knowing that she didn't have a clue about who exactly she was sharing these parts of herself with; she didn't know the mess she was tiptoeing around every time she interacted with him. 

Tonight was no different, her leaving a rattling in Harry's bones that he wanted nothing more than to ignore like every other part of his life. If he was superstitious, he would think she could have cast some kind of spell on him with the way she and her little bows lingered in his brain long after she had checked out and gone on her way home. 

That rattling followed him as he made his way into the backroom, his empty box needing to be replaced. An exasperated sigh fought to leave his chest when he saw almost half of the overnight team huddled in the area, puttering about as they chattered and pretended to work. He didn't like being roped into their conversations, and that almost always happened when he ran into more than two of them at once. 

Harry didn't say a word as he broke down the cardboard box on his cart, pushing it off to the pile of the other flattened boxes before he reached for another. The conversations had quieted some when he walked in, but he could still hear what sounded like Brett and Fawn flirting in the back corner with a cart of refrigerated items that needed to go on the opposite end of the store, and Theo talking to two of the other guys that Harry didn't bother to remember their names. 

"Busy night, huh, Harry?" Theo started, dropping whatever topic he had been rambling his friends about just a moment before. 

"Yeah," Harry answered, voice stiff. It wasn't any more busy than any other night as far as he was concerned. Besides, he had other things he needed to worry about to be making conversation with a coworker he barely knew. There was still a pearl colored ribbon tying his stomach in tiny knots that he needed to fix. 

Soon enough, a silence fell through the backroom when the others made their way out. Only Harry and Theo were left, Harry doing his part to semi-organize his chosen box before heading out on the floor again. 

Maybe it was the rattling in his bones, or the vision of a peach colored bow that he saw every time he blinked, but something in Harry felt a little reckless when he peeked over at Theo focusing on his own box. 

"That girl," Harry rumbled, feeling odd in his skin as he spoke, "The one with the bows in her hair... She comes in a lot." 

Theo looked taken aback for a moment, his eyes wide with furrowed brows as he looked in Harry's direction. He even glanced over his shoulder as if there was anyone else there for the conversation to be aimed at. Harry had to keep from scoffing, dropping his gaze back to his working hands. 

Floundering over his words, Theo tried to catch up once he realized Harry was voluntarily talking. "Um, the one with bows in her hair?" 

Harry hummed in response. "She's in a couple of times a week." 

"Ohhh," Theo sounded, familiarity touching his tone, "You mean (Y/N)?" 

Harry swallowed at the sound of her name. He'd never asked for it himself. "If that's her name, yeah." 

From the corner of his eye, Harry could see Theo nodding his head some. "She comes in a lot, yeah. She's not good at keeping a list and always forgets stuff if she tries to do big shops, so she just comes in when she wants something or runs out." 

Though he didn't want this information to mean something to him, Harry felt a part of himself slowing being fulfilled the more details he learned. She didn't tell him these kinds of things when she rambled about her dinner choice for the night. 

Keeping his gaze tacked to his hands, Harry kept his words measured and calculated. "Oh," he started, "Is she from here?" 

"She's lived here forever, yeah. Why?" 

A beat passed as Harry opted to ignore the second part of Theo's response. He didn't need to have any details as to why Harry was asking after someone after working together for five months with only a handful of interactions. Even if he did want to share that, Harry didn't have any answers to that why, anyway. 

"Does she... What does she do?" Harry asked, the phrasing of his words feeling awkward falling out of his mouth. He was lucky he was so used to shielding his emotions and staying stoic, otherwise he would have cringed where he stood. 

"Like for work?" Theo asked, his eyes warm on Harry's profile. 

Lifting his shoulders, Harry only shrugged in response. It was probably a good idea to keep his mouth shut. 

"She—uh—she works at the bakery. She and my sister work there together," Theo told him, acting as if Harry was supposed to know what bakery he was talking about and who his sister was. "(Y/N)'s pretty nice, though." 

"Right," was all Harry offered by the time he finished organizing his box. He didn't bother to give anything more in response or wait for Theo to say more before he was walking out on the floor again. Even when he could feel his eyes stuck to his back.

No doubt would this interaction make its way to the rest of the team before the end of the shift. 

It was harmless curiosity, Harry argued. He just had to believe the harmless part. 

—————

[firefly--bright]

peeks and blinders (you know me)

jean kirstein x gender neutral! reader, modern au

summary : being loved required patience and time and hope. luckily, jean provided all of them, without hesitation.

warnings : feelings of being deeply alone, heavy, hurt/comfort but mostly hurt, reader might sort of have depression

a/n : aha. lol. lmao. uhmmm yeah this is incredibly self indulgent and a projection. if you relate to this please PLEASE know that you're a) not alone and also b) I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to. i wrote this with an unhappy ending in mind but with the poll results (and let's be honest, the aot finale) I decided to make it a happy ending instead. don't worry, everything works out in the end. this fic might just be terrible if you're already sad, so reader discretion is advised! i dont expect anyone to read the whole thing!!! but if you do read it, I hope you like it because I spent way too long on it. the ending might've been a little rushed only because I wanted to get this out as soon as possible so I could move on with a new fic idea ;)

taglist : @mrsnobodynobody @holding-infinity-and-a-book @jeanscremebrulee (side note- thank you for the kind words in my taglist form's criticism/comments question. i truly, deeply appreciate it :) )

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ requests are open! ✿ likes and reblogs are appreciated! ✿ join my taglist ✿

✿ recommended playlist to listen to while reading ✿

living with someone meant showing yourself, something you weren't afraid of. well, not afraid, more just apprehensive. there was too much of a potential to fucking up a relationship; showing yourself too much in the one place you're allowed to be yourself without restrictions and limitations. you love your friends, you love jean, but sometimes the quietness of being alone was more than welcome because it had to be.

so when jean asked you with eyes that didn't meet your own if you wanted to move in with him, you didn't answer. quiet literally, you paused from eating the slice of pizza in your hand. he continued on with his nervous 'making-up-for-the-lack-of-response' ramble, explaining how you technically already lived together, how he liked finding your toothbrush next to his, and reluctantly admitted that he sometimes used your soap when he wanted to have a good day. a speech that warmed you despite your answer.

because no matter how comfortable you'd be with anyone, sharing the same space with them was a different kind quiet, unrelenting vulnerability. the fact that you existed and let someone percieve you without hinderance was...too much to think about. you had been alone your whole life, not in a pitiable way, but in a way where you didn't have a childhood best friend. you didn't have people stick around, like you were only at a corssroad of people's lives and greeted them with familiarity and comfort that they'd craved, despite your want and desire for it yourself. they'd continue on with their path while you would sit there, patiently, passing time.

jean admitted it to you. indirectly, he had confessed that he wanted to see you vulnerable and bare open in a way that people wouldn't know you normally. in a way where you were simply a locked window that noone had the key to. but there wasn't anything special to hide, no great overview of the city or the sea or rolling hills and valleys and large fields. no, just an unimpressive view of an unmowed backyard. untamed and messy - again, nothing special. just years of neglect while also being looked at. nothing special.

you didn't want him to see it. and technically, he asked you. you stopped spiralling just as he started his own, realising the effect your non verbal answer had on him, you simply said "I'll think about it." and tried to crack jokes along until the end of the night. because if nothing, then jean deserved some peace to balance out the turbulence that came with loving you.

in all honesty, you didn't know what you did. how you comitted the monsterous feat of getting him to love you. how he loved you in your entirety (or lack of it), how he woke up everyday and chose to love you despite everything that you took from him, drawing out his grumbling patience and gentleness because loving you meant waiting. loving you always, somehow, meant not loving you, because there was no way someone would know you, all your stories and opinions and ideas and still choose to love you.

living with you meant knowing your anatomy. not of your physical, breathing body, but the inside of your organs. it meant knowing that your stomach was filled with guilt, that your mouth could only utter whispers of people who once loved you and 'im sorries' to someone who won't know. it meant knowing that your hands were always aching to be held, that your skin was only ever warm when it was loved. it meant knowing that your chest was always heaving, yearning for a breath of relief that would never arrive. it meant knowing that your eyes always wandered off to the weighing scale kept at the back of your closet, always wandered off to find another pair of eyes that would look similar to yours. it meant knowing that your hair was always knotted with the doubts your mouth would never ask. it meant knowing so much about you, about the grey matter in your brain and about what flowed through your veins was nothing but pure doubt and discomfort with the unholy temple that was your body, the temple without a god, the temple that noone went back to. a body without a home.

he wouldn't want to know. he shouldn't want to know, and more importantly, he wouldn't like finding out. it would either be too much or too little, and his fingers would cramp up with the effort it took for him to pry you open, only for no prize to be met with. besides, you were okay just talking to yourself, no matter how insane it sounded. you got through so many years being self-sufficient, right? you didn't know how to handle it, handle someone actually loving you without doubt. you had lived long enough without it. someone loving you was new, something you didn't have a map for, something you didn't have any precautions against.

you and jean slept together that night. in the same bed, breathing the same air, under the same covers. you didn't share the same sleep, however, as his mind made dreams and yours went on like an unfinished painting - a list of unfullfilled answers, no meanings, trying and failing to come together. you found yourself watching him breathe; just his chest moving up and down and up and down, your hands twiching to rest on top of his but you didn't know if that's where they'd belong. if his body would wake itself up because of your touch - everyone was always surprised by how cold your fingers were. you were used to it.

maybe living with him wouldn't be that bad, right? as he said, you already shared the same space to a point where the pair of you felt comfortable enough to not care if your hair was groomed perfectly or if the colours and patterns of your outfit were clashing. but would he like it? would he like just how much more comfortable you could get? just how much you could ask for? just how long you could lock yourself up in the bathroom and try to cry? would he like to know just how long you sometimes spent on your bed, refusing to get up because your heart felt too heavy for your chest? for when your heart felt like it could fall through your back, punch a hole through the ground and bury itself in the earth until it could somehow bonify and fossilize and archeologists would recognise, instantly, that it didn't belong there.

he'd leave. that was something you knew for a fact. your love wouldn't be wasted, ofcourse not, neither would the time, but maybe he'd leave feeling like he'd wasted himself at your expense. or maybe he wouldn't think about you at all.

your night was spent with your brain spiralling - thoughts about how you didn't know how to handle being loved the way he loved you, about how you probably never had a childhood best friend that was still in your life because the phases of your life weren't meant for anyone but yourself to see, about how much your hair fell due to the stress of distracting yourself from overwhelming sadness by studying and creating while also being only slightly average at it. you fell asleep thinking about how the abundance of being alone, to you, meant being not alone at all, because there was no differenciation of company and lonlieness because there hadnt been any company to remind you of the lonliness at all- your eyes had fluttered closed and breathing evened.

jean always wondered if you were hiding something from him. not in a bad way, not in the way where he couldn't say he loves you, but in the way where you'd hesitate. and if he didn't love you as much, he probably wouldn't have even noticed. but fortunately, he did know you. a little too well.

he knew how much you loved the crunchy autumn leaves, so much so that you would alter your paths just to crunch one under your boot, a smile of satisfaction gracing your face after hearing the noise it made. he knew how much your fingers would reach out for his. he knew how much you tried - with everything. he knew of your unsaid struggles, knew when and what made your mood sour. and he loved it, he loved the fact that he knew all of those thing but more importantly, loved that he loved them.

loving you felt like it was a built-in feature.

but despite all of this, he didn't know why. he didn't know why you were the way you were. he knew you tried, but he didn't know why. he knew you struggled, but didn't know why. and it was driving him crazy, especially after last night. he couldn't help himself, even if he could see you, again, trying to diffuse the situation with lighthearted jokes, he couldn't help but think a little too much.

did you not want to? jean had always been honest about how much he struggled with being either too much or too little, about how much the words hurled by his friends when he was young hurt him, about how much his love proved to be uncomfortable and silent and resigned. maybe his honesty was too much for you. maybe you didn't like the burdens he came with, maybe you didn't like knowing how much his father's absence had affected him, or about how much his previous partner altered the way he saw himself to a miserable extent. you hadn't asked for all of this, all of him, all of his parts. maybe you were getting sick of it.

or maybe, if Jean's knowledge about you served right, you were being hesitant again.

he swears he doesn't mind it. you not wanting to move in with him wasn't a problem, but he just wished he knew why. the whole day, the only thing on his mind was how he could feel less hesitant towards him, god, anyone but him. he knew, firsthand, how it felt being so overwhelmed by inconsequencial doubt where he was left with so many regrettable unanswered questions engraved into the palm of his hands because he kept them hidden in his fist for too long, where he wishes, prays, and hopes for an answer that he knows will never arrive even if he doesn't look for it.

there are many things jean wishes and prays and hopes for. you're not one of them. but only because you're here. he doesn't need any other wish to be fulfilled or prayer to be answered or hope to sparkle. you are, inadvertently, all of them. a love without doubt, a wish without a cost, a prayer without a sacrifice, a hope without desperation. you're all of them. you're everything.

but he knows that if he's hesitant this time, if he doesn't reach out to grab you, if he doesn't do something, no matter how desperate, he will most ceratinly feel a deeper regret than he has ever felt before. and yes he may be exxagerating it, but he doesn't care. he'd learnt not to care when he was with you - he's learnt to be comfortable with you and around you. he wants to tell you that it's okay if you don't want to move in with him because his home is wherever you would be, his home is his hand on your thigh, his home is watching you blink in thought, his home is the sound of your footsteps. his home is anywhere with you. you are the only person who has the right to know that.

he makes his familiar way over to your apartment. you're not home yet, sasha informs him with a sleepy voice and messed up hair, "but you can wait in their room." she says because everyone knows that you wouldn't mind him waiting in your room. including him.

he does your routine - the one he's seen you do countless of times when you enter your room - take off his coat and hang it on the back of your door where one of the hooks is kept empty for him, shoulder his bag off and put it down on the spot next to your desk, turn on the desk lamp and the night lamp because you refused to turn the overhead lights on, because "they are so hideous why would I want to turn them on," according to you, and then finally occupy the space on your bed, laying his back down and his hands resting on his stomach as he waited for you.

staring at the cracking paint on the ceiling of your bedroom, jean thinks. from his pending homework that he's mentally figuring out how to schedule to how he's going to conduct this new group project with people he has never talked to before to how is it already the second last year of University because it felt like the first day was yesterday, until finally his thoughts landed on you. of course it would always lead to you.

it started from him thinking about University, then about how he met you on the second day, seeing you in one of his classes, sitting diagonaly across him, how you conducted yourself, slipping your bag off and checking your phone. then it turned to him seeing you at the freshers party where he saw his now ex-partner with someone he knew he shouldve questioned more. how he stormed off of the party with half tears of sadness and half of anger, catching a glimpse of you in the corner of the room, looking kind of lost. he saw you multiple times after that but never talked to you. he saw you at an ice-cream parlor once. he wanted to talk to you, but Connie had loudly confirmed the tickets to this new concert, which took away Jean's attention from you. but then he was introduced to you by Marco, because of course it would be Marco who had the pleasure to befriend amazing people. he met you then, properly, when you introduced yourself, and he nodded at you with little regard.

jean shook his head with a little smile. he had been so stupid, that day. he barely looked in your direction as you got acquainted with Marco, Connie and sasha, but he didn't disregard the fact that you looked less lost than you were at the party.

you had a way of sticking around, jean found out after that. he didn't realise when you had slipped into his life, hiding in plain sight. one night he found himself awake the same time as you and the next, he found himself saving a seat for you in the class you shared with him. soon enough, you knew him as well as he knew you, and there was softness in the recognition your eyes held when they met with his. the same appreciation of his existence, something he hadn't felt before. he couldn't say that he knew you as well as the back of his hand, because really, he knew you like the back of your hand, because he'd looked at your hands more than he'd ever looked at his, noticing all the little creases and scars and veins and hairs. he knew what warmth they held, he'd felt it after your hands made their way into his while walking back to your dorm on a cold night. a night jean would never forget because he had frantically knocked on your door right after leaving you there, because his senses had finally worked and he had finally found out that he wanted to kiss you. and he did, and you kissed back, and jean swore he had never been happier even while he could hear sasha and Connie and Marco cheering for the both of you. he kissed your forehead as a goodnight that night. you were in his shirt.

you were his home before he even knew what his home was, before he could find out for himself. you became an answer with a question.

he sighed, hearing your footsteps make their way through the tiny apartment, saying a small "hi," to sasha who was sleeping on the couch. the door to your room swung open just as jean sat up, his weight resting on his forearms on your mattress. you didn't seem surprised that he was there, just flashing a smile at him before removing your bag and placing it down, and jean felt his heart flutter with comfort as your presence filled the room.

his eyes trailed you as you did the same thing he did a few moments ago, plopping yourself down right next to him. your breathing evened out with his as the two of you lay in silent comfort before jean spoke.

his voice was a low hum. the words were barely different, but you understood them anyway. "yknow you can talk to me about anything, right? even if it's sad or not funny or not...I don't know, not remarkable. you can say it. i won't laugh unless you want me to." he says. it's a flimsy promise, but you know his words hold a meaning that you can't quiet grasp.

his palm lays on top of the back of your hand.

he's warm. scarily so, because why would someone hold so much warmth towards you? more importantly, jean extended his hand without even meaning to, like muscle memory, which was, again, terrifying, because loving you as habitual purpose was scarier than you having to prove yourself for it.

your shoulders relax almost instantly; habitually and with purpose. was the purpose of it to not have a purpose at all? was the meaning of your being to not have any meaning at all? was it just to love despite it?

you wanted to do good. not in a special or overly remarkable way, because you knew you would never reach that mark because you never had, but in the way where you'd be recognized. in crowded rooms, you'd be sought out for because of your "goodness" - be it reliability, comfort, all the things you usually associated with jean. which was ironic, because noone who didn't know him like you did would ever think of jean in that way.

"i.." you say, trailing off. you want to say that you know, but it'd be a lie. it'd be a false promise, and jean didn't need that any more than he needed you. so you say, "I'll keep that in mind."

jean doesn't buy it. his hand squeezes yours, stubbornly. "no, i don't want you to keep that in mind, I want you to want to do it." he says. his head turns towards you, watching the side of your face with an expression you know better than anything. the slight furrow of his brows, slightest scowl on his face that was masked by a layer of genuine concern.

"what I mean is.... you don't have to be so hesitant with me." he says. you want to blink back surprise, except that it's not really surprising. he's seen you, more so than anyone ever has, so it's not surprising that he'd see if one day was affecting you worse than the other days. it makes you want to scream because you don't know how to deal with it.

you close your eyes as if that would help. it wasn't like you were good at running away from affection, mostly because you never needed to. if anything, you were used to running towards it, desperately, just trying. but here it was, now, the resolution of it all, of all of the aches and creakings of your deepest yearnings, yet you couldn't seem to look at it. look at him - at jean, your best friend, someone you'd do anything for - with eyes that matched his.

you sigh. there's a deep silence, and jean isn't anticipating anything. his hand is still on yours and he feels you squeeze it tightly, but he isn't going anywhere for you to hold on to him. even if he wasn't tethered to you, he'd want to stay by your side, without any precautions or promise of a fruitful result. he'd stay with you regardless.

he isn't waiting for you to say anything, because being with you feels more than adequate, like it's instinct, like his shoulders relaxing when it's just the two of you, or like that tingly feeling in his chest when you kiss his cheek after a long day.

but when you do speak, it's with resignation and certain grief. "i dont think you'll like me. if I... if we move in together, I think, realistically, you won't like it."

"how can you be so sure?" he asks. it's not a serious question, but he thinks it's a start. you're doing it, you're being less hesitant, and atleast that's somewhere to begin.

"i just am." you say, shrugging. but it's not a fact, atleast, it shouldn't be. it isn't to jean. he's rolling his eyes now, but he's not annoyed or digusted. "how?" he presses, because he knows there's more, there always had been with you.

"i get too much. and then too little. like none of it is ever just right. and I'm scared that you'll see it and...I don't know, get frustrated at my lack of everything." you say. there's truth in every word even though you desperately wish there wasn't. you're still hesitating, but it's less so. your hand is still in his, still squeezing it. it was predictable - something you found yourself relying on - the warmth of his palm and the way his hand would also engulf yours with the same echoing softness it always had. even if his fingers were calloused and a little rough, it didn't matter. they still held you the same.

he's clinging onto every word you're saying, every small explanation, every twitch of your eyebrows. he knows what's going to come, he knows there's going to be an admission of guilt coming on soon enough but he also knows, more importantly, that he'll be there to tell you that no, he does not regret loving you, and yes, he will keep doing it over and over and over again.

"I've never been... wanted like this. or like anything, I guess. and I'm so scared," you breathe in deeply, keeping your tears at bay. jean pushed himself onto his forearm, looking at you in a way you've never been looked at before. "I'm so scared of disappointing you because I think that's all I've ever done. that's all I know how to do." the box is open now, and it's not forced or pried with effort. jean has always known how to open it, you think, you just didn't let him. he does it now, with the same hands you find comfort in, the same gentleness that his eyes have always held for you.

you're crying. you don't have anything else to add to your statements, and they hang in the air as if waiting for you to complete them, expecting you to do something. but you don't and you can't and jean is holding you, his hands are at your sides and your nose is buried into his shoulder and you think the words and the expectations can wait for now, or for however long jean is willing to take care of you.

your shoulders shake. jean is whispering into your ear, asking you to breathe. he's saying it so kindly that you feel the need to comply, and when your lungs finally calm, he rewards you with a kiss on your forehead.

you think if how much of a liability all of this is. about how much you weigh in emotions when you're this open and vulnerable. not even like an open, unhealing wound, but more like that feeling you get when you finally decide to read an unread text message that had been sitting there for a month, but you're the person who both sent the text and also the one replying to it and also the one who was watching it unfold. you caused this, you were the only one who was replying, and you were also the witness to all of this.

but now jean was here. it was unusal and strange - someone being there, actually, physically and mentally present instead of those placating "you'll get over its" that were repeated to you by the few people you decided to open up to.

the two of you are silent now, only broken up by deep, almost heaving breaths from you, something you wish you would stop doing. instead of you digging your nails into your palms like all the other times, your nails are clinging onto jeans clothes, and he doesn't seem to mind. instead of it being your blankets like all the other times, it was Jean's soft heat wrapped around you, moving with each breath you took until your chest didn't feel as heavy anymore.

"i know." he says, finally. he doesn't expect you to answer, ofcourse, but he knows you're listening because you shift slightly in his arms. "i know...too well, what it's like. i know that moving in means more to you than it means to people in general. i know that it's not even about moving in together. i.." he's being hesitant. finding the right words, but for once, Jean's happy about this trait of his. he's glad he rethinks decisions and the next time when he tries again, he's more sure of it. hes sure that he loves you, hes sure that he wasn't made to love you but he grew into it because there's that choosing again, the fact that yes, he did probably have a choice, but he would never even consider it. he doesn't want to consider it and maybe that's more important than there even being a choice. he wishes he could put it into words that would make sense.

instead, he opts to say, "I am so sorry you had to think all of this all alone for so long. but I'm...I'm here now. i know that won't solve everything instantly, ofcourse it won't, but I will be here until it will. i will wait."

there's promise in his voice, a conviction that you hadn't heard before. you trust him, you always have, but you don't know if you trust yourself with this. you don't trust yourself to be someone he loves. he's quick to quiet your concerns after yet another peck on your forehead.

"but don't you think I take too much?" you ask. its doubtful, the steps you're taking on the usually thick ice that has turned too thin too fast. you're afraid you're going to offend him, but you stand no chance against Jean's all-knowing sigh. it's not a tired sound, not one anyone gives before they're about to give up. you're not sure what kind of sigh it is, but jean doesn't let you figure it out for yourself because he's answering.

the ice turns into concrete. he's become your footing, the reason you're still standing and not under numerous feet of cold water. "i dont think you're taking. your....your love doesn't ask to take. you love despite everything, not because of it. everyone, including me, focuses on how to be loved, on how to be a perfect image that probably won't last for too long, but you..... you focus on shaping your love, the love you give. i dont know if you've noticed it, but you do. you don't take too much, you give without expectations. you give with hope. it's beautiful." he pauses. "you're beautiful." he says. he's not looking anywhere else but your eyes that are welling up with familiar tears.

you suck in a breath. "im not used to sweet words, jean," you say, the breath you held releasing with a bittersweet smile. "i dont know how to handle all of this love you're giving me. i think... i think you love me too much." another tear down your cheek and onto the mattress. jean wipes away it's remnants.

"i dont love you nearly enough." he says with the same laugh you had given him, "but you'll grow into it. just like how you grew into everything else, you'll grow into being loved. i grew into it too," he says. his forehead touches yours. the proximity makes you shiver. "i grew into just how much you love me. and I wanna keep growing into it because I love loving you. i love you loving me, as selfish as it sounds."

you take a moment to register his words. yes, you weren't used to being so vehemently and stubbornly loved and taken care of, but you could. you could get used to it, get used to crying in your beloved's arms, being fed spoonfuls of carefully heated up soup that would settle into your belly, being looked at for more than a split second. you couldn't fathom it now, sure, only because you could've never believed it before, but that could change. you could grow into loving love, into accepting it just as freely as you had given it.

jean wasn't holding you with a death grip because he knew that you wouldn't leave, atleast, he didn'tanymore. he would've done it, he had all the reasons to. if he were still fifeteen, he would've thought that he had to come beg and cling on to love to make it stay. he had to do something spectacular, something entirely not himself in order to prove that he was atleast worth giving a try but with you...he didn't have to beg. he didn't even have to ask. for a while it felt undeserved, all of this care you were giving his somehow beating heart, all of this ointment you were providing to his broken bones, but he somehow, miraculously, grew into it, because he let you in. he let you see him with the eyes that would rival the ones he was sure the gods had, he let you see him and all his unknown and unsaid sins and let you love him anyway because you wanted to, because you didn't see something in him - a potential of something greater - but you saw him as he was. as he is. and nothing in your smile changed. and if you could do that, then he'd be damned if he didn't love you the same.

no words were said after that, only Jean's heartbeat mingling with your own in your ear. both of your eyes were closed, his hands relaxed on your back, your chest no longer heaving, commanding you to pay attention to it.

you fell asleep in the silence of promise.

---

the promise continued even a week later, turning into two, turning into four, wherein jean kept loving you despite and because of, unafraid and unwavering and for the first time, without any hesitance.

you were keeping up on your promise too. trying to accept it - all of this affection, his affection - without hesitance. it was hard but mundane things usually are and you continued to grow and mend and try, above all else, which was more than jean hoped for.

he's passing you the brush he had slathered the perfect amount of toothpaste on, slipping into the comfort of the cool night warmed by the heat of your previously taken shower in your bathroom. you smile at him as a thanks, and he nods as a welcome, and no words are spoken. no words need to be spoken, and his right hand makes its way to the small of your back, his left brushing his teeth as you start brushing yours and you think that maybe everything is uncertain. everything always has been and always will be, and loving someone has always been uncertain, too. being loved has always come with doubt and guilt and shame. but the only difference was that now, both of you hoped. you hoped that everything would be alright in the end, jean hoped that he'd get to share the same bed as you in the end.

hope was flimsy and hopeless, too optimistic, but now it served as something you both shared. the shared sentiment of hoping that you'd have eachother till the end was more important than the uncertainty. it meant that both of you would keep trying. you don't need to be sitting, waiting patiently and hopelessly at the same crossroad now, because Jean's hand is on the small of your back, the watch on his wrist is still and unticking, and you're walking down the same road with the same landmarks and the same gravel because you want to. you've moved from your old spot on the pavement because you want to. you're learning how to love the sound of your own footsteps, how to love the action of one foot infront of the other, and the best part is, Jean's learning too.

loving isn't a reciprocal or a transaction or a grand 'aha!' it's an act of hope. hoping they'll see you the same. hoping they'll have the same hopes as you. hoping they'll want to be loved by you, because hope doesn't require anything grand, hoping doesn't require a god to pray to or a cost to pay. it requires soft, undettered, unsaid patience. something jean, persistently, had. something you, stubbornly, held.

you paused from brushing your teeth to look at your love. you were wearing his old t-shirt that had faint stains of ink and old paint on it, and he was donning the headband you had owned for years to keep his hair out of his face. he glances at you through the mirror, then turns to you, nodding to you, eyebrows arching in a question.

you spit out the toothpaste into the sink. looking back to him, you say, with all the conviction and hope you can muster up, "I want to move in with you."

jeans mouth turns upwards, still full of toothpaste. he doesn't say anything. he doesn't need to say anything.

everything's already been said, already been understood.

because he knows you. and he couldn't be more happier to.

(when you pick the curtains for your new home, you are held up by jean, who's hands grasp the ladder you're on. you're looking down on him after the work is done and he's smiling, and you're smiling, and at night you're using the same stove to make the same dinner that the two of you will share along with some old wine and old stories. he holds you when you fall asleep, and your arms are around his torso as he snores softly. your love is stored in the blood of his veins. his love is stored in the palm of your hands, and even if you don't hold it, it still stays there, unmoving, growing, attached.)

✿

[justallihere]

im joining the train of being physically ill and your fic giving me the motivation to continue with life (allergies and contact dermatitis are kicking my ass. my eyelids are swollen)

I love how soft these two were for each other in this chapter.

XADEN IS WHIPPED. I feel like if he could live in/under Violet's skin he would 💀

exhibit a

“I can kill him for you,” he offered. 

exhibit b

“No, I don’t want you to move,” Xaden grumbled

exhibit c

“I’ll do whatever you want, my darling wife.”

exhibit d

he was sure his heart stopped beating in his chest for a moment before it resumed its rhythm again. 

exhibit e

Something warm bloomed in his chest at the sight of the ring on his finger, a physical representation of the two of them twined together, from now until they entered whatever life or world followed this one. 

Xaden made Vi blush SO MUCH this chapter and I'm eating it up!!!!!

This line was so funny 😭😭😭. Xaden is such a tease

“Yes, your majesty?” She scowled

Not me my heart breaking for younger Xaden. I hope Vi gives him enough hugs to heal his inner child

Being a dragon rider was one of the only things he had ever chosen for himself, even if, technically, he wasn’t supposed to have it. 

SOMEONE HUG GARRICK PLS. The guilt he probably feels, my poor baby 😭😭

“Can I not be worried about her?” Garrick asked sharply. “She is my queen, Xaden. She isn’t just your wife, she isn’t just Violet. Not anymore. She’s important to all of us, and I have a duty to her. You’re not the only one who failed to keep her safe.” 

EXCUSE ME??? ARE THEY FLIRTING? YOURE HONOR I THINK THEYRE FLIRTING. The second i read that he wanted to take her somewhere outside, I KNEW IT WAS HIS FAVORITE HILLTOP!!!! This moment was so special/monumental for them 😭. Xaden has come so far, from not wanting to share this sacred space/wanting to hate her on principle, to loving Violet and willing to do anything to make her happy (Again, mans is WHIPPED)

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Mrs. Riorson?” Xaden asked in a low voice.  She shivered. “Maybe.” 

HIS RING??? HIS RING????? Of course, Vi noticed how obsessed X is with her hair. nothing gets past her

Xaden's unwavering faith in Vi is so 👌 I dont have words to describe what it is but its top tier husband energy

The fact that Violet reads smut confirms that she's just one of the girls AND Xaden picking the book up to read it ??? Book boyfriend material (Even though he's already her husband)

Questions:

When will Brennan get his head out of the sand and make up his siblings? Stick Xaden on him because B is making Vi and Mira sad!!!!

when was the last time Xaden got drunk/felt comfortable enough to do that?

was the story about malek and his consort's homage to Hades/Persephone but also a reflection of Vi/X's relationship?

She was Amari’s youngest, her most beautiful and most treasured child --- is this foreshadowing to how Lilith views Vi? bc if so... I'm sobbing in a corner

Omg feel better!! Stop being sick!! Why are you all sick!! (normally I’m the one who’s sick all the time 😂)

Waterparks has like dozens of obsessive love songs that I could quote but there’s a line in “I felt younger when we met” (ironically a break up song lol) that says “you moved in behind my eyes and built yourself a shrine” that I think about a lot in terms of how Xaden feels about Violet. Just like, a part of her lives with him permanently now and he can’t and doesn’t want to get rid of it and she’s all he knows and he’s wholly devoted to her

I’m LIVING for the fact that you came with evidence about how whipped he is lmao

They are in fact flirting, can confirm!

To answer your questions: Yes, Brennan will get his act together. The last time Xaden got drunk was, uh. . . so many moons ago I do not have an exact time, but years. And yes! It was a way to say that not only do people see their relationship differently depending on what they’re looking for, but Xaden views himself so differently from the way Violet sees him.

And yeah to that last one as well. I mean she loves all her kids beyond reason, but there’s something in the way she views Violet that’s so special to me

[soukokumychildren]

I. ABSOLOUTLY. ADORE YOUR IDEA WITH YOUR AU SO MUCHhhhhaaaaah!! ✨✨✨✨🖤🖤

Chuuya having WINGS!!? Even though he could in somee way fly before already, it feels so different with wings!! Like really cool!!

(( I have always Liked wings -

Is your AU going to follow the main time-line of the show? Like, the illustrations you've posted sure does look like it-- (love them- love this idea-) ((Soukoku Reunion where Chuuya has feathers!!? ✨)

Wait, wait, wait, No- dont spoil anything..! (maybe just a little yes or no- that wouldn't really spoil anything—) I will find out as I read—!

I mainly wanted to say I'm really looking forward to reading this!!

It's my first BSD AU where it follows the main time-line - just differently- as well! A thing I really like!!

Well, if it really does ofc, but It sure does look like it—Arg, I gotta just continue reading soon——

Even if it don't this seems really interesting already!!!

Ahem, anyhow, this became a bit long- I wanted to expres my excitement about this-especially after, you even looked at some of my BSD stuff after I followed you!!!!

Thank you soo much!✨ That became the last push to write this little too long text, that isn't really a question, but more like a thank you-ahh im excited for this-- that I had already considered writing to you after I started reading😅😅👍

This entire post just made my day and while I could I'd rather not risk dying from lightheadedness from spinning too fast in excitement in my spinny chair XDDDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH

I can't express how embarrassed I am just fshfhsgshgsghshg I have been CRAZY for wings for AGES now, and I just saw soooo many posts about how "what if Chuuya could fly Dazai" I thought, fuckers, I can make that REALITY And it is going to follow the main timeline of the show just...alot differently but at the same time trying really hard to stick to the normal plot In hindsight that means I must suffer with all my energy to watch the first season of bsd (When I first watched BSD, the first episodes were for setup, and rightfully so. That all made sense, it really put the characters together. But I watched it a second time and it dragged ON and ON and I COULDN'T STAND IT UNTIL CHUUYA CAME TO GRAB DAZAI gARgHHrhgh). I must admit I'm confused on the "Soukoku reunion where Chuuya has feathers" bit though 🤔 And currently during the plot I'm writing I have to improvise ALOT from what I know, and really this fic is also whatever the fuck I wanna write with whatever writing style I have on hand slapped into each 1K chapter so I'm really trying here LOL Also the fact when [undisclosed plot device] will be introduced, I'll be writing seperate smut for [undisclosed plot device] because I can then do WHATEVER I want wITHOUT any repercussions Hopefully I can add in [undisclosed plot device] just in a way that people will understand. Though I hear that Beast Dazai also came across [undisclosed plot device] at one point :D

I'm going SO offtopic here LMFAO And seriously? Really??? I'm surprised! I'm sure theres alot of fics that go by the timeline, I especially have run into cough ones which I liked which are specifically smut related..... and I go back to off topic I'm sorry LMAO But I'm sosoosososo glad you like it! It just means alot to me you wrote alot and now I'm just ranting because you've shown genuine interest without going off the rails (as far as I've seen) so this is pretty cool for me too!!! And I do usually look to peoples accounts who follow me (especially those who find interest in a SURPRISING amount of my stuff XD) so yeah, that's why and I found some GOOD stuff on your account too, so that's REALLY awesome. Talk to me any time! Dm me, reblog and talk to me that way, use replies, whatever the fuck! I love talking to people, and this was genuinely fun to write. :]

[bluesworldd]

𐀶 ՙ 🎸 · HOBIE BROWN ➤ as your partner

cw/tw: mentions of intoxication (no description)

genre: fluff

blue says: i want it to be known that i will probably use these hcs for fics unless its a specific fic ofc. also these are a bit inspired by other hcs. enjoy.

spoilers ahead !

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄

- so to begin i like to think you and hobie have been close friends for a while..hobies definitely the type to date his friends that he’s known since forever since he already has an existing relationship with that person he finds it easier to fall into a romantic relationship that way.

- it was definitely a slow burn tho and you fell first but he fell harder….like really hard

- you too have been through thick and thin together and shaped each other. that’s something he really appreciates about your relationship with him.

- to say the least you guys have known each for years and thats something he couldn’t appreciate more

- some of the qualities he looks for in a partner is the ability to trust and be vulnerable, for both him and his partner. like i think hobie is the type to read people so easily. i feel like he can tell when someone is lying to him or something like that yk?

- anyways yeah he absolutely love that about you, especially since you two don’t agree on everything he likes how open-minded you are

- now physically hobie doesn’t have anything specific he’s looking for

- personal hc of mine: he’s into sista’s sorry not sorry.

- outside of that tho he doesn’t care

- cuz fawk beauty standers

- different aesthetic? well he literally doesn’t care, in fact he loves it since it allows him to explore different aesthetics outside of his own

- but either way i dont think hobie would be the type to “believe” in aesthetics. like hobie just wears clothes that he likes thats it. thats all.

- when it comes to showing his affection he’s definitely into physical touch and quality time

- nothing makes him more weak in knees than cuddling while watching a movie together or doing some silly activities together or just chilling tbh

- like dont even get him started fr

- being spiderman really made him realize how much he missed his “old life” if that makes sense. like hobie is always happy when he can make a change or save someone but he misses you all the time

- his loneliness is washed away when he comes to his flat and sees u<3

- and its even better when he’s been out for a long time..

- honestly he loves a lot of things about u but nothing can compare to the big smile u get when he walks through the door

- like u don’t understand what u do to him..

- now when it comes to public affection hes not afraid or ashamed of showing his love for u

- sometimes if he’s feeling clingy (or he’s completely hammered) he’ll do it on purpose or be so extra when he’s kissing u

- ou when he’s intoxicated he’s all over u not in a sexual way but the cuddle bug in him JUMPS out…

- anyways this isn’t to say he’s possessive! no not at all.

- now is he clingy…? well yes!

- overall hobie loves u and wants to be near u 25/8

- like bruh

- hobie has this almost overwhelming respect and love for you that he doesn’t believe you could begin to understand..

- out of all the many dimensions and people he has met, nobody could be you.

┄┄ ︰ ┄୨୧┄ ︰ ┄┄

©️bluesworldd 2023 || All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, copy, or claim my work as your own.

[bluhjeans]

songs i associate with dbh characters / what i think their fav songs would be

pleasee share ur own thoughts & opinions id love to hear them!! and I need to ramble abt my dbh opinions to people (+templates if u wanna make ur own)

explaining my reasoning here if anyones curious

gavin: couldn't decide between rehab and in my feelings because theyre both just so him (and by that i mean fanon him cuz there really wasnt much to work on) 'in my feelings' because I can just imagine him to all' of the lyrics ('Sobbin' in my cup of coffee 'cause I fell for another loser' and 'Who's doper than this bitch, who's free-er than me' in particular) and rehab is a little looser of a connection, it stems from this story that ive been sorta writing that focuses on gavins relationship with alcohol aswell as his friendship with tina, and I just feel like rehab really captures his reluctance to give up the many different problems he has in the story like drinking, smoking & drugs rk900/nines: i dont really imagine he listens to music but but i kinda associate him with the pre-chorus in 'In my feelings' by LDR with the 'get that cigarette smoke out of my face' and the bridge with 'got me feeling so blue, making no sense at all, gotta leave right now' sooo duet with gavin...? 'shades of cool' (u may have noticed i like lana songs by now!!) also really matches nines IMO, the song is about her own pain and disappointment but but it also centers around this flawed love interest she wants to fix and understand, but ultimately can't, which to me just feels like nines and gavin, atleast in my own hc's (can you guess my fav ship yet) connor: whilst this song (a human's touch) could generally apply to all androids in dbh I connect it most with connor, especially in the second verse; "We were still going strong I never did you wrong Until the new me came along It was just you and me We were such a good team But now I’m alone on the boulevard of broken screens" Listening to this, I can really imagine him talking to Amanda after being introduced to his successor, the RK900 ('the new me') - I also can imagine the boulevard of broken screens being in reference to the graves of his previous bodies and I just think thattt hits yk, + whilst the second verse applies to machine connor more, the craving for human touch (connection in general) feels rather apt as by becoming deviant he has severed ties with Cyberlife, causing him to be pretty alone so yeah kara: I can just imagine her, alice and luther all singing country roads together in a car during the summer and it just warms my heart sm like its just sooo cuteee <3 I can also imagine her being a fan of Adele's music in general, I can't really explain why but she just seems like the type of person to be reaalllyyy into adele (me too) (+ i know age as a concept isnt a thing for androids really but adeles music appeals to a large age range making her music appealing 2 families so maybe im connecting adele n kara because of that) markus: I feel like I don't even need to explain history has its eyes on you... i mean come on.. but ohhh emmm geee!! I can not stress how PERFECT 'as the world caves in' is for markus atleast in my opinion, when I listen to it I can really picture this song over markus either choosing to sacrifice himself in BfD when surrounded, but generally I can just imagine this song over him doing anything really. 'run boy run' also feels like it needs little explanation, just listen to the song/look at the lyrics and youll see the connection north: I don't actually have any meaningful reasons for these songs but I just feel like north would like them but I guess 'breakin' dishes' is the one I thought about most because I can imagine her acting similarly in the same situation soo yeah chloe: Chloe doesn't really have a lot to work on with her extremely limited appearance in-game so this is completely based off a fic i read lol, where chloe was in a relationship with kamski but only in private because of his concern for his image anyways, in 'a loving feeling' mitski sings about feelings of loneliness in a relationship where her partner only shows affection alone and yeah that just feels like chloe n kamski to me!

[rollercoasterwords]

genuinely thank you so much for writing thtf. it's my favourite thing to read in the whole world for so many reasons. like other than where it's obviously devastating (in SUCH a good way), idk it just makes me so happy

I think it's the first wip i followed from start to finish and I have to say that part of 2022 was not the greatest but yk, every few days there'd be a new chapter. and it was great.

I fucking love Dorcas talking about "a butterfly in the palm of your hand" it's changed the way I think so much. like you would not expect this from a fanfic lmao but it's pretty much exactly what I needed to hear at the time. living just to live, even if it's complete shit, not caring about what they're leaving behind. ch 42 (i think) where all they're doing is just washing the dishes but it's so special and they're listening to dawn storm is so important to me I love it SO much. fucking amazing.

ngl I don't really think there's anything I don't like. every character feels so right - regulus in particular sticks out to me, like there's such a good balance between him doing pretty bad things because he's not a particularly "good person" but also not being a complete dick. also I would die for marlene mckinnon and the way you write her is just so fucking good. the way she is just so alive to make up for her shorter life is so beautiful to me. I could ramble on for a very long time about everything in this fic but I dont want this to get too long lol

the music you put on the chapters is also really good like I'm pretty sure the first time I read it I didn't listen the music and then I reread it with the music and it was like a whole different experience

yeah i would've sent this earlier (like maybe a year ago) but looks like I put it off for a really long time lol

also - really love where atwmd is going rn I'm so excited for more chapters, i love Sirius Black etc etc

ahh thank u this is so sweet! i love hearing that thtf resonated w people it definitely feels like the fic kinda took on its own life & became a little philosophical journey that i was not entirely expecting lol. i think writing a story where i knew my main characters were going 2 die the whole time really made me contemplate like. ok what do i actually want 2 say abt death, and by way of that what do i wanna say abt life? bc like. as someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife i didn't wanna write a story that says "well it's ok bc they can be happy in the afterlife" <3 bc like. that does not comfort me lol. & i also didn't wanna write a story that was like "it's ok bc there's gonna be a good future 4 others after them," bc i think life means something and matters even outside of futurity. i didn't wanna play into this narrative that u have 2 Do Something 2 make ur life meaningful by making sure u have an impact on the future, etc; i wanted 2 write abt life as meaningful outside of that. & i also specifically wanted 2 write abt life as something beautiful & meaningful even with the bad stuff mixed in, and even if death is abrupt and scary and painful and unwanted. like i purposely made both their deaths pretty brutal bc i personally find the idea of a "bad death" really scary! the idea of dying before ur ready, dying scared or alone or in pain or all three, etc...and i think part of why that's so scary is bc we place this big emphasis, again, on a linear timeline of life, where death is The End, and if The End is bad, then the story's a sad one. but death is just one moment in the sum total of billions of moments throughout your life; why should that bad cancel out all the good? why should a story be sad, just because the last page of it is sad? you can open the book to any page and find happiness, and love, and warmth, etc. & that's what i'm trying 2 say w "a story is not its end."

anyway. this got much longer than expected lol i love 2 ramble abt thtf but! again ty 4 the kind words glad u enjoyed the fic glad u enjoyed the music as well!! i love the playlist 4 that fic <3

[moon-knights-balls]

all the questions from the character ask game w/ your top 3 favorites from nuramago :3!! answer the questions for whichever of the characters come to mind and skip any you dont feel like answering you dont have to do the whole thing 3x lol

NO WAY A NURAMAGO FAN!?!? HI HI LETS HANGOUT YOU SEEM COOL...

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Day and Night Rikuo is in my "Top Blorbos from different fandoms" because well.. for day Rikuo he tries his best to be a nice person which is something i respect :] And he's just so. scrunkly. I love it, i also love how polite he is compared to his night form and speaking of Night Rikuo, he's a chill and nonchalant and also sassy, there's just something intriguing about nonchalant, sassy men... (Cough, Kaeya) I also adore his design like?? Peak, IT'S SO AWESOME !! I hate drawing his hair tho

Yura my beloved, her design is simple yet appealing and also, SHE'S BADASS!! I LOVE BADASS WOMEN!! She's also a dumbass at times (Shes just like me fr) I also love her personality and how caring she is, best girl best girl :]] Also her shikigamis are awesome

Tsurara !! Her protectiveness and cuteness is aaa, i love it !! Though, i wish there were more times were she wasn't with Rikuo yk yk, still love her tho <3 Shes precious

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Rikuo gets all flirty when he's drunk

Yura is “Tsun tsun”

Tsurara has her own clan, named the Tsurara clan

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

I only have one least favorite thing among these and it's Tsurara's character being centered around Rikuo :(

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Moon Knight or Cookie Run !! Moon Knight because they would just fit the whole supernatural setting and Cookie Run because i want to see them as cookies

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Cult of Dionysus. ITS SO NURA CLAN CODED??

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

For Rikuo, it's his humbleness and the whole “Trying to fit in”thing, oh and there's also the casual attitude and “oi”

For Yura, the black eyes, dumbassery and the rambling about one's interest when she first appeared... for the anime at least teehee

Tsurara? Willing to die for loved ones

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

They make Rikuo gorgeous in fanarts and fanfics

They capture Tsurara's cuteness

...There needs to be more Yura content

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Nothing really, Sanmoto Gorozaemon and Minagoroshi Jizo are rarely seen

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

YEAH !! We can chill and stuff

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Mm... yeah, it would be fun now that i think of it :]

11. Would you date this character?

Nah, i'm not interested

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Little Tsurara used to make snowflakes to make Little Rikuo happy whenever he was crying

Rikuo wears eye contacts in his Night form, since he's nearsighted so when Gyuuki and Tengu trained him after he just woke up, he was having difficulty seeing whats happening in front of him

Yura likes comedy! She also reads manga on her freetime

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

Yura would use >:0 >:( ???

Tsurara would use (⁠＾⁠∇⁠＾⁠) (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠) <3

Night Rikuo would use 💀😼 Day Rikuo would use ^_^ :)

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

GIVE KIYOTSUGU MORE SCREENTIME !! MAKE HIM AND RIKUO MORE CLOSE !!

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Haven't wrote Tsurara and Yura

Currently writing Rikuo and i love incorporating the differences between his day and night form !! I don't like having to choose fancy words for him to use :|

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Well, i love seeing them being traumatized and going through the horrors, teehee :3

It kinda feels weird whenever Night and Day Rikuo acts the same like if its an au then yeah, i understand but if its canon then.. eh

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Bonus nurarihyon and rihan

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Rikuo reminds me of Moon Knight, due to the moon theming and plurality and-

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impression of Rikuo: Scrunkly, sassy bitch

Now: Scrunkly, sassy bitch(desperate)

First impression of Yura:Hmm, she looks kinda plain

Now:I love her omg

First impression of Tsurara: She's so cute !!

Now: Cute and cool !!

[justafandomfollower]

WIP Wednesday

Okay, so, I got tagged by @ayotofu but I'll be completely honest and say I have no idea how this works, or what the rules of this thing are. So, I don't have a fic in the same fandom as them (9-1-1), but I do have plenty of WIPs, so, you get 700 words of a Dead Boy Detectives thing I'm working on instead.

I'm going to go ahead and tag @e-vasong and @dont-offend-the-bees if they want to share, but if they don't want to no pressure! Also, if you want to be tagged, consider yourself tagged.

Crystal is comfortable. She’s warm, and well-rested, with no demons in her head and three best friends surrounding her. Her arm rests on the arm of Charles’ and Edwin’s uncomfortable couch. Her feet are tucked up next to her, bare toes under Niko’s legs. Niko, rather than resting on the other arm of the couch, leans against Crystal’s shoulder, a steady weight at her side. Rain drums on the window but it’s a Saturday morning – they have nowhere to be today and no obligations to attend to. The rain is a comforting, steady drumbeat rather than a dreary slog to get through. Tucked into the minifridge she’d convinced the boys to get sometime between their return from Port Townsend and their rescue of Niko are two slowly defrosting frozen pizzas: lunch, in a few hours, heated by the microwave she’d also convinced them to get that sits atop the fridge. It’s a rare, lazy day for the agency and all four of them plan to take advantage of it together. With the day stretching out before them, it feels like they have all the time in the world. “No, no, no,” Charles is saying now, grinning down at her and Niko from where he leans against the minifridge-microwave combo. “That’s too simple. Can’t be anything too simple – need to impress the clients, don’t we?” “And the current name does that?” Crystal mutters wryly with a grin.

Charles scoffs comfortably at her. He turns his head with ease, staring down his best friend. “C’mon, Edwin, back me up here.” Edwin does not look up from his desk. He’s the only one of the three of them doing anything that could remotely be considered work, though he’d been adamant that he enjoys comparing old case files with current ones and taking notes about the differences and similarities. Just as Charles has stripped down to his polo, suspenders hanging off his hips, Edwin has shed a few layers too. He still has on his vest, and he hasn’t rolled up his sleeves, but the bowtie and other layers are gone. (He says he’s concentrating, but Crystal’s seen his lips quirk a few times during their discussion.) “I have not agreed to change our name, Charles,” he says, dry and fond all at once. Crystal rolls her eyes fondly in return, even if he isn’t looking to see it. Edwin’s a pushover when it comes to Charles and everyone here knows it – however much he doesn’t like change, if Charles asks for it, Edwin’ll give it. Of course, she’s not convinced Charles is committed either, it’s just a fun discussion for the moment – same as Edwin’ll do anything for him, if Charles thinks Edwin genuinely wouldn’t like something (or at least tolerate it for him), he wouldn’t push for it. “Simple can be nice,” Niko counters easily. “I mean, Dead Boy Detectives is simple, isn’t it?” Charles’ head spins around so he can gape at her properly. “Simple?” he asks, mock horrified. “Well, kinda, yeah,” Crystal says in support. “I mean, you’re dead boys, and you’re detectives, aren’t you?” Charles shakes his head, as if distressing over them disparaging the agency’s name, but Crystal can see him trying not to smile. She exchanges her own grin with Niko. “How did you guys pick the name the first time?” she finds herself asking, and then: “Not even just the name, really. How’d you guys decided to be detectives in the first place?” That does get Edwin to look up from his desk. He exchanges a long glance with Charles, that kind where they have a whole conversation in seconds. Crystal can’t read them nearly as well as they can each other, but she can see the amusement and fondness bouncing between them. Edwin rolls his eyes and concedes to Charles with a slight nod. Charles, grinning gleefully, rubs his hands together. “Right. Get ready for the story of a lifetime, girls.” At Crystal’s side, Niko straightens attentively. Crystal can’t seem to stop herself from smiling, steeped in the warmth of the moment. Off to the side, she catches Edwin rolling his eyes again, but he’s leaning back in his chair instead of returning to the files on his desk.

[youcantdateosmosisjones]

dont get me wrong- I dabble in spreaver as much as the next chode, but I'm not like... super into some of the ooc content? Not getting into specifics, because who am I to judge, but we need some more toxic spreaver rep. Like... the potential there. Two imperfect and arguably unchangeable individuals who somehow view the other as an equal- despite various conflicting and borderline disastrous combinations of character- and use them in order to both humble them self and also get back at the other person???? Who mutually just write it off as "this doesn't mean anything", but for different reasons??? One who simply indulges in conquest and pleasure, marking this as another notable person off the checklist- and the other, who just needed a little break from the responsibilities and consequences they have to live with? AND THE POTENTIALLY UNSPOKEN FEELINGS AN THOUGHTS THEY HAVE- SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HOW THEY FIND THEIR... whatever it is- SOMETHING THEY DON'T REGRET, AS IT'S THE ONLY TIME THEY FEEL AS THOUGH THEY FONT HAVE TO BULLSHIT??? Like, yeah no they hate each other and actively find themselves annoyed with the very presence of the other, but they also understand them for what they are better than ANYONE else. They are two sides of the same coin, and possess the ability to murder the other if they decided to- and yet choose not to. Why? They don't even know. But it's just... wild, that they know things about the other that no one else probably ever will, and the fear from knowing that they see right through them just kind of shuts them up about trivial things that don't exist within or beyond this moment. They just couldn't care.

Ok but in general: They literally do not care. It's... weird, but it's not like a super emotionally investing prospect beyond the greater scheme of "huh... this is kind of a fucked up situation when you really think about it. But low key I don't want to put in more than what I already have into this, so fuck no I'm not getting into it"

-I do think that if they were different people under different circumstances, they could've maybe been happy together, though. Maybe as simple villagers- or adventurers, seeing how skilled they are in that field. But defiantly without the added impact from lifetimes worth of burdens, trauma, terrors, destruction, expectations, and sacrifice. Without all that, I think the free-spirited yet determined Sparrow would've been content with the articulate and skillful "Reaver". One, a mute who commits them self to whatever they set their mind on, often to the benefit of those around them- and the other, a well-versed man with ambitious goals, but who settles for living everyday to the fullest via the experiences he gains in daily life. Different people. Different story. Y'know what? I'm just gonna pretend like every spreaver fic I read that isn't as needlessly complex as the image I've got in my head is just an au version of the story. Saves me a few braincells.

Thank you fable writers for leaving a gaping middle chunk between fable 2 and fable 3 so that I could write delusional half-assed thoughts about a bunch of polygons who I think had, like- 3 conversations? Whatever. Fuck you.