#and yes i did have to stop myself from adding the phrase

[whatafuckinnerd]

I find it unfathomable and astounding that Tumblr isn't more obsessed with Sam Reich. You're telling me there exists out there a man who was born into the aristocracy of our country—with every privilege of modern society at his fingertips—who didn't complete high school (due to his mental health) and instead chose to devote his life to making strangers laugh and raising awareness on mental health. A full-bearded short king who is so committed to being the change he wants to see in the world that he decided to take the company he worked for into his own hands so that he could make sure all the people who worked under him could keep their livelihoods.

How many other CEOs are out here being as honest and transparent with their target audience/market as Sam Reich is? How many of them acknowledge when they fumble and continuously strive to be better than they were? How many of them actually seem like they respect their talent, both in the cast and crew? Sam Reich is the standard we should be holding other CEOs to.

But forget about all that (I could talk for a long time about the respect I have for Sam Reich)—ignore just how respectable he is as a businessman and a person. Ignore all the wholesome reasons for obsessing over Sam Dalton Reich.

The man is a stone-cold fox.

He's a little chaos gremlin and an absolute evil mastermind all rolled into one classy suit and well-groomed beard. Whenever Sam is on the set, you can guarantee he is going to make you crack a smile. And for someone with such natural authority, he's never afraid to be the butt of a joke and show himself being embarrassed. Go ahead, watch any clip of him trying to improvise in No Laugh Newsroom and just try to resist that blush.

You're sleeping on a goldmine of a man, here, damnit! And I will NOT let this go ignored any longer!

[churipu]

hihi i love ur works sm and i was wondering if i can request where the reader has an argument w the jjk men?? preferably w nanamin + any other characters :3 thank you in advance ^___^

BAD BLOOD — ARGUMENTS WITH JJK MEN !

featuring. nanami kento, choso, megumi fushiguro x reader

warnings. cursing, yelling, slight angst (ends in fluff dw).

note. hi anon, thank you for loving my works, it means a lot to me. and i love this request, i've been feeling like crap for the whole day so this is just what i needed! i hope you like this one <;33 and for anons who have sent in request, i'm writing them down and keeping them in my drafts for daily posts, so don't worry about it!

NANAMI KENTO. i feel like arguments with nanami will be very soft but angry. nanami is a gentle person, and he just hates the thoughts of saying something hurtful to you — but do keep in mind that he won't always be very soft, he could be loud at times. but most of your arguments with him are soft spoken, the both of you exchanging thoughts and troubles.

for the past few days, nanami has been extremely overworked and so you're walking on eggshells around him. he gets sensitive, and the slightest bit of inconvenience angered him. yes, you get it — he's tired from his work, you could totally understand that. he's a busy man after all.

"kento, don't you want to take a break..? you've been working non-stop, you'll get sick," you eyed him, poking around your food.

nanami sat across from you, his eyes glued to a paper, and honestly, it was getting a little sickening. all you wanted to do was to talk to him, but you felt as if you were selfish if you asked the man to prioritize you over his work — so you stayed silent, for almost a week the two of you haven't exactly been conversing right, or talking unless it was an exchange of "hi"s and "bye"s. but that was about it.

"i need to get this done, wait a moment."

that phrase sounded like a template by now, and you huffed, rolling your eyes, "i know, i'm just worried about you. you're not getting enough sleep, you're not eating well, and at this point, i'm just afraid that you'll dig your own gra—"

"i can take care of myself, thank you. you don't have to worry about me, i know what i'm doing."

you can't help but to furrow your brows at his cold reply, a little offended when all you seemed to be doing was care for him. the least he could do was thank you for it, "god, you don't have to be such an ass about it. forgive me for caring then."

at this point, your words only added fuel to the already big fire. nanami stared at you, the exhaustion in his eyes are apparent, and his lips pursed into a thin line before he inhaled sharply, "you're being a child, i just told you i can take care of myself. please, don't argue with me on this. i'm tired with all these paperwork, don't add more burden for my shoulders."

you clicked your tongue, standing up, not wanting to engage on this particular conversation anymore, "well forgive me for caring and for being a burden. enjoy your dinner," was all you spat out at him before going to the living room — plopping your body down the couch.

arguments with him usually ends up with the both of you apologizing to each other, but this particular argument seemed to not just go the way how it usually does. a couple of hours later, none of you talked. you assumed that the male finished his dinner, and you saw him walk by you into your shared room.

the two of you refused to talk to each other, or even as little as making an eye contact. you figured that you'd just spend the night in the living room where the TV could keep you company, so you stormed inside your shared room where nanami was on the bed, eyes still on his beloved papers.

he said nothing, nor did he spare a glance at you. so you become a guest in your own bedroom and grabbed your pillow, it wasn't that chilly outside so you didn't grab the only blanket laying on the bed (you actually left it there for him to use, the ac could be pretty cold at times).

and he never came out, not until you fell asleep with the TV still on. nanami hadn't even slept, he'd gotten his work done hours ago — but still he couldn't sleep. not without you by his side.

the clock strikes fifteen minutes past three in the morning, and nanami pushed himself up from the bed — feeling the void beside him, even with the blanket; he felt cold. opening the door softly, he trudged out of the room, the sight of you all curled up on top of the couch, vivid lights shining from the TV still managing to light up the whole living room despite the lights being off.

he squats down in front of you, brushing your h/c hair out of your face and it made you turn in your sleep. although not enough to wake you up completely, nanami one of his arm under your upper back, and one under your legs. carrying you inside the room with soft steps before laying you down, not forgetting to tuck you under the blanket and leaving trails of butterfly kisses on your face.

he could finally sleep.

with the sun rays greeting you through the creases of your still covered window, you squirmed. groaning out.

"y/n?"

upon hearing nanami's voice, your eyes flutter open. of course — it was a surprise for you to wake up on the bed when you fell asleep on the couch, "did you carry me here?"

nanami nods, he was leaning onto the bed post, "i'm sorry. what i said to you was wrong," he softly said.

the anger you felt the other night was gone by now, and you were just glad that nanami was willing to talk to you. you shook your head with a small smile, "it was part of my fault too, you were working — i shouldn't have pestered you too much."

nanami wasted no time in pulling you towards him, "you were worried for me. never apologize for that."

like i said, arguments with nanami will always end pretty quickly (the two of you are mature enough to talk it out), oh and also? he spoils you the entire day after an argument so — have fun!

CHOSO. i feel like choso would be confused a lot during arguments with you, on one side i could see him being brazen with his words, and on the other side i could see him being careful with them. no in between, he's definitely scared of saying the wrong things to you — and you getting hurt emotionally, hurts him as well. so at times he just tries to end it quickly by saying sorry.

god, he hates seeing you sad. at the end of the day, if he did say things the wrong way (even if it was to defend himself when he's not wrong), choso will apologize to you for how he said his words (and you'll apologize for your mistake). but choso has his share of apologizing because of his mistake too.

"cho, are you listening to me? gosh, you never pay attention to what i'm saying, are you taking this seriously?" choso looks up at you with his brows furrowed, definitely frustrated by everything that was happening around him right now.

first of all, he expected today to be a very special day. he hasn't seen you for the past couple of days because you've been so busy with work, and he was so excited when you told him you'd be having a couple of days to rest. he couldn't wait to meet you and go out on dates with you.

but clearly, his expectations were shoved down the drain because here you both were — arguing over your work hours choso had brought up a few minutes prior. and all he said was that he wished that the both of you would have more time to spend together, which irked you.

it had been a rough week with work where you had to write and write and write on countless paperwork (which you couldn't really complain on because you signed up for the job). and you weren't afraid to admit that you were in the wrong this time, when all choso wanted was time with you. here you were, getting all riled up because he wished that he had more time with you, and if the roles were switched; you were pretty damn sure you'd say the same thing to him.

"'m sorry for bringing that up. can we go out now..? i don't wanna fight w' you." choso mumbled out, averting his gaze to the side.

his tone ripped you away from your anger and you sighed, pulling him into your embrace, "cho, 'm sorry. i shouldn't have taken my anger out on you just because i've had a rough week."

choso returned your embrace mutely, a small smile dawning upon his lips. he was just glad the argument was cut short. all he wanted to do now was to go out of this slump and make you the happiest person ever — even just for a moment, a couple of days before you eventually have to return back to work.

"cho, say something."

choso pulls away from your touch, "i forgive you. let's go out? missed you. so much."

for the rest of the day, you and choso had the most fun in a week. also, choso fell into a pond in the park because he wasn't looking at the road — and also, you might've called your boss to extend your rest day (by saying you weren't feeling well) so you could have more time to spend with your boyfriend.

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO. i feel like megumi's the type of boyfriend who tries to stay out of arguments with you, if he was entangled in one where he isn't in the wrong — and you tell him to do something, he'd just kind of do it without any complaints. tell him to shut up? he shuts up. tell him to go away? he'll leave. tell him to leave you alone? he'll leave you alone (for a couple of hours).

but when he feels like things aren't ceasing, he'd try his best to negotiate with you and try to find out what the core of the problem is between the both of you. let's be real, megumi is a realistic type of person, he'd never admit that he's wrong when he isn't just to solve things the fast way, even to you; his own partner.

"y/n. how many times do i have to tell you that it's not that i'm bored of you alright? i've been busy. i'm not bored of you."

okay, you didn't expect one question to lead to this argument. all you asked him was a simple yes or no question: "are you bored of me?" and you didn't throw the question for no apparent reason, the reason behind that question itself was megumi's change of behavior the past two weeks.

he'd been extremely distant, and cold. whenever you asked him about it, he just tells you that he's tired. which you could totally understand since he is pretty busy, like uncle ben said: "with great power comes great responsibility."

being a jujutsu sorcerer is a big responsibility. you could understand where it was coming from, but when it happens again and again, you can't help but to overthink about it. overthink about how megumi might be bored of you and the whole relationship.

"megumi, i...okay— i'm sorry for asking about this. i was just worried." you tell him, not wanting to argue any longer about this whole thing, "i'm sorry, you must be stressed out with school and stuff."

megumi furrowed his brows, inhaling sharply, "no, no.. i'm sorry for lashing out. let's talk about this. i don't want you to get the wrong idea."

megumi explained everything from a to z, about how he was still so in love with you and he had been distant because of his power and what comes with it. it was pretty cute to listen to him talk, the constant flush on his face whenever he talks about you, and the stress in his voice when he talks about his power was apparent.

poor boy just needed a break.

"megumi, let's take a nap. you look like you need it."

"...i do."

argument ended. relationship stronger. and you both get to nap together, absolute win-win.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[esmedelacroix]

"I hate it when you're not around,"

husband!miguel x f!reader ♡

10 Things I Hate About You ← mini-series masterlist

"Even worse when you make me cry" ← previous part

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What Miguel didn't know was that you had already forgiven him. One of the hardest tasks in the world for you was to stay mad at him. You had forgiven him the moment he kissed your shoulder and said the simple words, "I'm sorry," Why? Because you love him. Maybe a little too much.

Most people would think that the words, "I'm sorry" have lost all meaning in your relationship. That the phrase is used by Miguel so much that it is just something he says to avoid disputes. That's not true though. You know that there is gravity behind every "I'm sorry," Miguel says.

That didn't stop the fact that Miguel hurt you. You just wanted him to feel the same pain you did. So you stopped visiting him at work and you stopped waiting for him to come home and just went straight to bed. It killed you not to be able to see him during the day, but you were upset. He made you cry, he deserved it.

. . .

Miguel's POV

Something has been missing from my days. I know exactly what it is but I've been trying to take my mind off of it. But how could I not think about her? My sweet angel that usually visits me is nowhere to be found today, just like yesterday and the day before. It's like eating a pb &j without the j or the pb or anything. It's like my days lose some of their meaning when she's not here with me.

An unfamiliar and chilling gloom cast on my office. Similar to the one that was there before I met the love of my life. It was too often an occurrence where things would be insane at work and it affected my home life with her.

She's never been this upset with me. But I guess once one thing happens over and over you begin to get tired. Is she perhaps getting tired of me? Just when I'd reached the peak of my overthinking spree, Peter B. barged into my office with Hobie, Gwen, and Mayday.

"Alright Miguel we've had enough," Peter started stomping up to me.

"Enough of what," I deadpanned.

"Enough of your sulking and enough of your wife not being here, we're friends with her. We all miss her," Gwen continued.

"You do know why she's so upset with you, right?" Hobie asked.

I finally turned away from my screens and faced the group interrogating me. "Because... I've been working too much?" he answered.

"No, she's used to that. It's because of Justine," Hobie interjected.

"Justine?" he repeated, confused.

"Yes Justine, the girl you keep running to instead of spending time with your wife," Gwen said.

"The girl you keep choosing over your wife," Peter B added.

"The girl you're cheating on your wife with," Hobie interjected.

"Woah woah hold your horses. I'm not cheating on my wife with Justine!? That's absurd! I can barely stand her!" he retired. He didn't raise his voice but his tone was definitely unusually unstable.

"But do you see how she could think that you're choosing Justine over her?" Peter asked.

"I mean I guess so but I was just following protocol," he replied.

"You could've waited until after lunch," Gwen responded.

"She needed a friend the night she went to her universe. I see myself in her. I was only trying to help. I couldn't imagine being with another woman that's not my love," he insisted.

"Well, you have to say that all to her, not us. It sounds like you guys have a bit of a communication problem," Hobie replied.

"Dios mío[my God], I can't believe I'm getting advice from a kid," he whispered to himself.

"Well you better take that advice," Peter answered.

"But she doesn't want to see me," he sighed, sinking down into his seat.

"Do you really believe that?" Peter B asked raising a brow and placing a firm hand on his shoulder.

With that encouragement, Miguel dropped all his work and swung to your home hoping you wouldn't already be asleep. Like the whole universe was against him, little problems kept coming up on the way. An old lady's cat stuck in a tree, bodega robbery, bank robbery, you name it.

None of that would stop him from coming home to you on time.

. . .

next part → "And the fact that you didn't call,"

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taglist: @lilscast @lazyjellyfish300 @safixiovi @saaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiira @aktenati @vera4luv @skylertully @boringpersonality @ce3stvu @straw-berry-ghoul @holachaoholachoa

[teamfortraven]

Vox enjoyers... I am yet again here with food...

This is an SFW tickle fic! If you don't like it, don't read!

Summary: the reader finds out something particularly sensitive about their boss, and he has to go to certain lengths to prevent the spread of this information. AKA reader bites off more than they can chew :]

Words: 3,010.

I gasped as a set of claws wrapped tightly around my wrist, jerking it away from the circuit board I had been messing with. I was quickly forced to turn around and nervously face the man who had caught me in the middle of my operation, his figure looming over me as he practically held me off the ground by my forearm.

“Oh! Boss! You’re back from the meeting, umm, early!”

“Yes. I am.” Vox’s voice was stern, eyes narrowed at me while the brightness from his screen practically blinded me.

“I was just about to wrap up maintenance on this section, but since you’re back now, I’ll go ahead and get out of your way-” After scrambling to defend myself and gently tugging my arm down an inch to ask permission to leave, he instead yanked it even more taught into the air so I was barely standing on the tops of my feet.

“Maintenance, you say? So that’s what you’re doing in this room you strictly don’t have permission to enter?” He tugged me a little closer, studying me with a scowl. Sarcasm was woven into every word he spoke, hiding the anger swelling underneath.

“W-Well, I certainly can’t fix it like you can”, I quickly added, wincing as I stuttered,” but I just didn’t want you to have to deal with it when you returned!”

I was lightly shoved against the wall, his claws gripping my shoulder even tighter as if to squeeze the answer out of me. “Don’t lie to me”, he said quietly. “What. Were. You. Doing?” I instinctively shut my eyes and managed to avoid an attempt to hypnotize me into telling the truth, turning my head to the side.

“Not to be rude, sir, but why ask me when it’s clear you could feel what I was doing?” It was a risky thing to say, but it was either this or die by trying to come up with an excuse. The flashing light that perforated my eyelids stopped, and I slowly opened them and focused on his screen.

His eyebrows had raised for a moment, staring at me as if he were taken aback, mouth slightly agape. Then his brows furrowed yet again, squinting at me as he quietly chuckled.

“What?”

“Well, as soon as I did this…” My hand darted to the open panel and I trailed a single fingernail down the inside of the circuit. I merely glanced at him and smiled when he flinched – no, jumped – at the sudden action. “...you seemingly teleported here in order to find out what was messing with your wiring.”

Nearly cutting me off, his hand shot to my wrist in fear of my realization, but I was faster, scratching at the other side of the circuitry in quick motions with one finger. He gasped and shook, his back arching and hands balling into fists before he fell on one knee, arms wrapping around himself protectively. I held back a laugh at his dramatic reaction, earning me a glare and gritted teeth.

“Don’t.” He said unsteadily. I decided it would be funnier if I didn’t heed his warning, so I shot him a smirk with lidded eyes before I began gently spidering my fingers over the face of the circuit.

I watched in glee as he shrieked and fell backwards, puffing before falling into giggles, his eyes squeezed shut. He was clearly struggling to maintain his composure, which I didn’t like. I figured I’d mess with him a bit.

“So, this tickles, huh?” He fought to bark back at me through the endless stream of giggles exiting his speakers.

“Fuck you… and fucking stahap!” His pause to supposedly gasp for air in between each phrase only had me smiling wider, increasing the pace for a moment and watching as he threw his head back and his voice raised in pitch.

“Don’t wanna admit it? That’s okay. I guess I can see why this would be embarrassing for you.” His legs kicked out at me stubbornly, claws nearly tearing at the sides of his suit. I took a step further away from his kicking out of caution; his frustration at not having control of the situation was kind of cute.

“Hey! Don’t try to kick me! That’s not very nice.” I positioned all of my fingers at the top of the circuit before slowly dragging down, causing him to squirm even more and grip the corners of his screen.

“As soon… as I gehehet you… you’re fuhucking DEAD!” He shouted.

“All the more reason to keep exploiting this little weakness of yours…” I made eye contact with him as I slowly opened the neighboring panel, revealing yet another circuit board. I saw fear flash across his digital complexion as I merely tapped the new circuit while my other hand continued gently spidering.

“DON’T!” He yelled, lunging at me and managing to grab my ankle before I began sporadically tickling both circuits at once as fast as I could. Vox immediately fell into uncontrollable laughter, letting go of me and twisting onto his back, attempting to cover his mouth despite not having one. Pixels formed tears at the corners of his eyes as they shut tight, kicking out aimlessly as he swore and gasped.

“YOUHOU FUHUHUCKING BITCH!” It was at this point that he started glitching, some of his words almost unintelligible.

“Aw, is the big, bad overlord extra sensitive right here?” I teased, relishing in the way his screen glowed just a little brighter at my comment. As I continued, the static and glitches he was experiencing became greater, almost to the point I worried it might be painful. Finally, I let up, watching as he lay limp on the ground in a ball, twitching and giggling on occasion as he recovered.

After a good couple seconds, he fell silent and lay still, screen shielded by his claws, breathing lax. He made no other movement. Concerned, I crouched down next to him — either something was wrong or he was pissed and about to fire me.  “Sir…?” I gingerly set a hand on his shoulder.

I heard him quietly mutter something and I leaned down to hear him better. “What?”

With a terrifyingly low chuckle, he moved one of his claws to reveal his right eye and the side of his mouth; two strings of red ran down to the bottom of his screen, and black rings emitted from his pupil. He said one word.

“Run.”

Suddenly filled with adrenaline, I fell backwards and scrambled, managing to turn myself around and start booking it, tripping a few times and catching myself with my hands, pushing myself off the floor for a small boost. As I was running, it occurred to me I didn’t know which way I wanted to go; I had no idea whether he was going to kill me or if he was turning this into a game. If I headed out of the observatory and he was just messing with me, I risked making both of us look unprofessional in front of his other employees or, god forbid, one of the other Vees who were on a surprise visit to see him. If he was trying to kill me…

I made a brash decision and burst through the observatory doors as I heard a maniacal laugh split the air behind me, followed by the sound of electricity zapping. Within seconds, he materialized in front of me, causing me to force my heels into the ground and come to a screeching halt. His arms were folded behind his back and he leaned down a bit intimidatingly, chuckling in amusement at the bewildered look on my face. He slowly began taking steps towards me, forcing me to back up past the observatory doors I had just so half-hazardly barreled through seconds ago. “Going somewhere?”

“Just following orders”, I replied in nervous excitement, watching as his grin only widened.

“Oh, but when I tell you you’re not to enter the observation room unless I specifically say”, he used his electrokinesis to close the small gap between us, grabbing my wrists in either hand, “suddenly you know better?” The observation room doors slammed behind us, once again shielding us from the outside hallway where anyone could walk by as he pushed me onto the floor and straddled me, effectively trapping me.

“Well…” I desperately tried to change the subject as his clawed fingers suddenly grasped either side of my waist, causing me to squeak. “You’re not the only one who’s confused. Why didn’t you use your electrokinesis to get away when I was-“

“How ticklish are you on a scale from one to ten?” He interrupted, eyes seeming to scan me before his pupils flickered back up to mine, obviously avoiding the question.

“Wh-what?” I was caught so off guard by the question that I stuttered, shrieking as he suddenly squeezed my waist, my hands flying to grasp his wrists.

He laughed at my reaction, eyes narrowing. “Ah, ten. You really just fucked yourself, you know that?”

“I’m not… that… I was just taken by surprise!” I stared wide-eyed as he suddenly sat up a bit, seeming to process what I said. Then he laughed again, eyes crinkling shut for a moment before looking down at me.

“You’re not… that? Not what?” His eyes widened in glee. “Holy shit, can you not even say the fucking word?!”

Red dusted my features as he continued laughing at me, finding the whole situation hilarious. “I can say it just fine!” I lied defiantly. “I said it earlier, didn’t I?!”

“Oh yeah, sure, you said it earlier when you weren’t so flustered. I think your brain turned to soup when I pointed that out, though…” He tapped his screen right below his eye, indicating that I was blushing. Of course, this only made it worse, and he snickered at my reaction. “So, if you can say the word ‘just fine’, do it now. Say tickle.” He crossed his arms and waited with a knowing look.

Of course, I could only manage to stutter, testing the first syllable of the word over and over, growing more and more embarrassed. His stupid smirk only grew as more time passed, eyebrow quirking. Finally, I gave up out of frustration at being proven wrong. “Fuck you!” I chided, watching as he threw his head back and laughed.

“See? You’re such an open book! I bet even this stupid shit would get you…” I froze as he suddenly hovered both hands in front of my face, wiggling his claws. “Tickle, tickle, tickle~”

I squeaked and put my face in my hands, a reflex more than a conscious decision. My face felt like it was on fire at this point — how long was this fucker gonna keep bullying me for?! Everytime he laughed it felt like I was about to explode, and I jumped as I felt his hands settle on my sides again.

“You’re way too fucking fun to mess with”, he mused. “I’m not even trying!” He suddenly applied an overlay to his voice as if he were broadcasting. “Breaking news: Voxtech employee blushes so hard their face explodes!”

As I went to protest, I instead found myself sputtering and squirming as he suddenly dug his claws into my sides, attempting to push him off of me, to which he only chuckled.

“Trying to escape already? You must be reaaally sensitive, huh? Really sensitive right here?” Claw after claw dug into the area on either side, and he rapid-fire squeezed for emphasis, causing me to make a series of noises not unlike a pug, twisting and turning underneath him.

“V-Vox, wait, nohoho!” I trailed off into helpless giggles as he spidered his claws on either side of my waist, squirming around underneath him as his face lit up with delight.

“Aww, is it too much? Does it tickle that bad?” His teasing made me attempt to hide my face again, eyes squeezed shut as I attempted to muffle my giggling. I failed to keep myself quiet as he suddenly moved his hands to just beneath my ribs, causing me to shriek and grab his hands. His eyes widened in recognition, chuckling evilly.

“Oh! You’re just making this too fucking easy for me! Could you be any more obvious?!” I fell into laughter as he continued digging into the area even faster if anything, causing me to basically short-circuit as pleas began involuntarily leaving me.

“W-WAIHAIT BOSS PLEAHEASE!” I whined, unsuccessful in my attempts to cover the area, the tips of his claws managing to break through.

“Oh, what, are you just too sensitive? Can’t handle it? Is this your worst spot? Is there a worse one…?” He trailed off with lidded eyes as they started wandering before returning to my own. “How about… here?”

I nearly screeched as he dragged his claws across my stomach, hurriedly attempting to sit up. He acted quickly, pinning my legs with his own and laughing at my urgent reaction as he continued spidering across my stomach, having me hiding my face again as he briefly displayed a casino slot machine on his screen that lit up in a jackpot.

“You know, how are you still alive being this fucking ticklish? I mean, I could just tickle you to death if I wanted to. And that’s saying something given I haven’t even…” I fell into desperate hysterics as a small jolt of static electricity left his claws, creating an overwhelming tingling feeling.

“VOHOX NAHAHA!-“

“Vox, what? Vox, please keep going? Vox, I love when you tickle me? If you want me to stop, you better switch back to calling me ‘boss’ again… and start apologizing for that little stunt you pulled earlier.” My struggling only intensified as he suddenly shoved his fingers under my arms, unable to pry his claws away. “Orrr you could just keep trying to fight back. That meeting was my last one until tomorrow, so I can do this all day…”

I tried to fire back at him about earlier, but all I could do was laugh, so instead my hands moved from his wrists to the sides of his ribs, desperately spidering. He physically convulsed, gasping before giggling a bit, immediately removing his claws from me to grab my wrists. Once he had torn them away from his body, he glared down at me, clearly a bit flustered as I managed a shit-eating smirk.

“Oh, you think you’re so fucking funny, huh? You think you can get away with something like that again?” I felt my face light up as I realized how strong his grip was, my proud moment short-lived as he put both wrists into one hand and pinned them above my head. “Hoho no, you’re gonna fucking pay for that…”

I quietly gasped as the tip of every claw on his free hand pressed straight onto my ribs, unmoving. A wicked grin split across his screen, studying my reaction with playfulness that was borderline malicious. “Really? Really? You targeted me somewhere that you can’t handle yourself?” I could only wiggle around as he started tickling, showing no mercy.

“HA! You have no idea how ridiculous you look right now. Can’t do anything, huh? Just gonna twist left and right like you’re actually able to get away?” I couldn’t respond to him if I wanted to, as I had immediately fallen into hysterics, trying everything in my power to get a quip in with all the talking he was doing… If I knew anything about Vox, it was that when his pride was hurt, he felt the need to explain himself to heaven and back. Once he had monologued for a bit, he let up slightly – just enough that I could form words again.

“Okay OKAY BOSS I’M SOHOHORRY!” He rolled his eyes with a smirk, voice lowering from the practical shout he had been using this entire time.

“Want me to stop? I don’t know~ there’s plenty of other spots I haven’t explored yet…” I fell into uncontrollable giggles as he gently spidered across the sides of my neck, blushing furiously. “Oh, really sensitive here, huh? I wonder if I tease you some more if your face will get even redder than it already is…” It did, in fact, get redder after he said that.

“BOSS PLEAHEAHEASE! TOO MUHUCH!” Tears were forming at the corners of my eyes as I desperately turned my head this way and that, his claws jumping to the other side as I attempted to defend myself.

Finally, he sighed, sitting back and letting my wrists go. He stayed on top of me, however, watching with his arms crossed as I regained my breath, hiding my face as it began returning to its normal color.

“Cute.” My eyes shot to his, unsure if I heard him right. I didn’t have time to ask him, however, as he quickly stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me up next to him.

“Well, that was… fun. And just as a reminder…” He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to his side.

“If you ever tell anyone about your little… discovery…” He poked me in the ribs as emphasis before whispering right into my ear. “I’m going to wreck you so badly that the mere sight of these claws”, he wiggled them in front of my face threateningly, “will have you blushing so hard that you faint.” We stood still like that for a moment, as if he wanted to make sure I processed what he said, before he suddenly let go of me.

“Alright, get out of here, and if anyone asks, you were laughing because I’m just that fucking hilarious, got it?”

“Y-yes, sir”, I nervously agreed before he shot one last smile at me and turned, walking to his console. I left the observatory still a flustered mess, fiddling with my hands as I questioned if any of that even happened. I knew one thing for certain: the very next day I was doing that again.

[recovering-dungeon-lord]

Minor Dungeon Meshi spoilers incoming, not for the actual plot but for the overall tone/trajectory of the story, so if you consider that a spoiler feel free to skip. I’m making this especially for anime watchers who are uncertain and/or feeling some type of way after watching Ep 11.

As someone who has read the entire Dungeon Meshi manga, I totally understand why other manga readers are enjoying seeing anime watchers react to the tonal shift in Episode 11. It’s super interesting and exciting and validating to watch someone go through the same shock you once went through, and loose their mind and speculate and theorize the same as you did.

But I also fear that maybe we’re going a little overboard with the whole attitude of “lol y’all got got, now you see what the story is really like.” Because it gives/can give the impression that the show from here on out is going to be a typical grimdark fantasy, that the unique take and sense of joy that has been present up until now will go away. This was actually something I myself worried about when I first read the manga. I almost stopped reading because of it, and I don’t want anime only folks to do the same and miss out on all the wonderful things this series still has to offer.

So to all the anime watchers out there who might be feeling conflicted right now, please let me reassure you. Yes, the show is gonna get a little darker and a lot more complex in plot/lore. It is going to become, if you’ll forgive the phrase, slightly less easily digestible. Yes, there is a tonal shift at this point in the story. But it is not a bait and switch of a hopeful, feel-good tale of friendship for some sort of hyper-serious drama about the cruel indifference of nature. I promise.

The forest has to get darker before it can get lighter (a lot darker at certain points) but it will get lighter, and there are plenty of points of light along the way. The comedy is still there. The whimsy is still there. The unique, complex characters and interesting relationships are still there (and added to). The messages of perseverance and the power of friendship are still there. The cooking is still there and just as delightful. Plus we have so many more great characters to meet and relationships to be developed and so so so much cool lore to find out about.

It’s gonna be a wild ride but I promise it will be worth it, and like a good meal by the end it will leave you feeling satisfied and full of joy.

[demxnicprxncess]

Love your writing! It hits the spot every time!

My friend I are both catholic and we finished watching cult and we’re both simping hard for Kai..

Would you write a smut about Kai taking you into a confession booth?? 🙏🏻 pleeeease❤️

Taglist: @kitwalkersgfff, @yes-divine-ruler, @quicksilversg1rl, @charsdunkis, @eddiemunsonsbitch69, @dahmevan, @sultrysullen, @kaylaperiodqueenslay , @fuckedbykai , @mykie-way , @bxbyalixo , dm me to be added or removed dears.

warnings: Church sex, Kai Anderson, blasphimy? Erases the whole cult plot.

Confess.| Kai andersonxfem!reader

My simple sundress flowed just beneath my knees, it would be wrong to say this but at least it wasn't a lie, I loved my priest. Kai Anderson. He was kind, gentle, and spoke with no hesitation. He always got what he wanted as well. Anyways, I got to the church and headed into the confession booth getting comfortable before speaking, "Father forgive fore I have sinned." I could feel myself getting more and more aroused at the idea of having to spill this information to him. "This is a place of confession not judgement, tell me... what is it that you did dear." I looked down to the ground, "I acted in adultry" I don't know if I was just horny but I swear his voice got deeper, and even more sultry, almost as if he was horny. "So, you're unpure, washed of your innocence?" I could only feel hotter, I'm not sure if it's for sin or anything but I got hot. "I don't do this, but come over here please?" I swiftly stood and made my way over to him, "Yes father?" He looked at me with dark eyes and pulled my dress up, "You're a sinner baby, do you feel bad?" I looked down and shook my head no. "He filled me up so well, I felt so good father, he made me feel so happy." I might have missed it but he looked jealous, really jealous. I felt him yank my panties down and slid his fingers across my slit, "You're so wet after just reminising on how he felt." He pulled his dick out and it was incredibly hard, not to mention long. Longer than the one I had the previous night. "Fath-" "That's a major turn-off, just call me daddy" I felt so unholy but grabbed his dick and nodded obediently, his cock throbbing in my grasp. He lifted me up onto his waist and lined himself up with my entrance, "This- This is so wro-" He thrusted up into me silencing the words that almost spilled from my mouth. I couldn't resist wrapping my fingers into his hair and sticking my mouth to his while he worked his hips into mine, my back arching as I whined and whimpered small phrases of "I'm going to hell" and "Don't stop." I could feel myself stretch beyond what I felt last night, I swear I feel him in my stomach while he fucks into me aggressively. "Daddy..." "Hm?" His hands gripped at the flesh of my ass and left behind small marks as he did making me mewl in pure bliss, "May- fucking A- may I cum?" He smiled at me making my walls tighted around him, earning a nice loud groan of appreciation from him, "Go ahead. And once you finish, I'm gonna pump you full of my cum angel." I felt my body shake and tremble at his thrust, his moans, his face, and my orgasm. My world was revolving around him and the idea of being pumped full of his kids. As my orgasm came crashing down on me I felt my legs loosen from around his waist to which he only held onto my ass and thighs tighter. With one final sloppy thrust and a loud animalistic grunt he released his seed into me making me moan at my own accord. His thrust slowed down and his once dominant moans turned into whimpers and he started placing kisses on my neck, hickeys and then pecks so gentle it was cute. He set me down and look down at me, "Go and repent child. I shall do the sa-" I ended his words by placing a well needed kiss to his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck, "I've been waiting for that father."

lord help me •_●

@fuckedbykai heres your special story love.

[disasterarea-podcast]

Okay, wow, so a bunch of new people followed me. Hi! *waves shyly*

So just for a little Podcast 101 introduction:

My name is Jennifer and I’ve been doing this podcast since the very last day of 2015. I’m a neurodivergent bisexual with a very cute beagle mix named Professor Pancakes. I like road trips, gay romance novels, and little crafty things like paint by numbers kits and mini DIY dollhouses. My personal Tumblr is @trollprincess.

Each episode of the podcast is focused on one disaster in particular, although I do sometimes stretch one disaster over multiple episodes if necessary. For example, not long ago I covered the Grenfell Tower fire, which took three episodes. I’ve also covered tangentially related emergency organizations and groups like care teams and the RNLI.

I wish I could say I get an episode out a week, but I have two other jobs, one full-time on the weekends and one part-time during the week, so episodes come out when they come out. To get them early, I have a Patreon for the podcast which can be found at the link below. I post episodes there as soon as I record them, and they’re also ad-free there.

My definition of “disaster” is pretty broad. I will cover anything from shipwrecks and plane crashes to financial disasters (“Cats” the movie is on my request list) to DashCon. Yes, I did an episode on DashCon. I couldn’t resist. (It’s episode 132, fyi.)

As an addendum to that, I also cover mass shootings. (It’s my podcast, I make the rules.) The rule for me on covering mass shootings is that the shooter’s name will only be mentioned once, if that, and that each victim will be named if possible.

As an addendum to THAT, disasters and tragedies can be very difficult subject matter. Please understand that episodes may feature death and destruction and decide accordingly if listening to each episode will be good for you and your mental health. I provide more specific trigger warnings at the start of each episode if necessary, but I will completely understand if a new episode is not something you’re comfortable listening to and you’d rather go watch Taskmaster or something.

There will be mentions of politics in episodes, but very much because emergency declarations, evacuations, regulations, etc. are an important part of disaster response. I also talk about mental health a lot, both for my own sake and to normalize talking about it. Like I said, difficult subject matter.

I am not a conspiracy theory sort of person. Don’t expect me to use the phrase “false flag” with anything other than sarcastic disdain.

You don’t have to start at the first episode! Honest. The first episodes of a podcast are almost a mess with people trying to find their footing, and this one is not any different. I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes, but I’m totally up for correcting myself if I screw up.

Every hundredth episode I cover a fictional disaster like a real one. Episode 100 was the attack on Nakatomi Plaza, and Episode 200 was the events aboard Trans American Flight 209. I’ve got a while before I decide what to do for episode 300.

Episodes I’d recommend: I’m very proud of episode 170 about United 93 (I read and watch everything I can get my hands on about 9/11, but I don’t plan to cover the whole event on the podcast because with the way I cover disasters, it’d be twenty episodes long at LEAST). I also very much recommend Episode 72 on the “Twilight Zone: The Movie” helicopter crash, mostly because someone told me to stop mentioning American movies so much so I did a whole episode in which I mentioned as many movie set disasters as possible. I’m also absurdly proud of myself for the Chernobyl series, because I never did finish the AIDS series and I learned I very much could pull it off. (I did mispronounce roentgen, but that’s on me.)

If you listen to older episodes, I have taken requests in the past but I am currently on hold with those because my request list right now is at 62 disasters. (Yes, including “Cats”.) So give it a little bit and let me get a few more done and we’ll see if we can start those back up again. 🙂

Thanks so much for being here!

[life-in-toontown]

That last reblog just made me wanna clarify that I absolutely hate 90% of Disney’s direct-to-video sequels but I do still like Lion King 2, despite having several issues with it.

I admit maybe this is just because I’ve been so deep into the Lion King fandom since I was a kid that disliking TLK 2 despite having so many problems either it just feels impossible lmao.

As for the problems, well first off there’s the one mentioned in the last reblog about how Scar having an heir that isn’t biologically related to him wouldn’t benefit him, but of course you can’t make him Scar’s bio son because that would make Kiara his cousin which means instead of their Love Song being “Upendi” it would instead be “Sweet Home Alabama”.

Also, where did Zira and the Outsiders come from? Yes you could say they were just background lionesses in Mufasa’s pride that remained loyal to Scar but then why weren’t they helping protect Scar once Simba came back and challenged him for the throne? I know the answer is “because the sequel wasn’t planned yet and they were worked on by two separate teams” but STILL, if you’re a person who completely accepts everything in TLK 2 as canon then it’s kinda hard to explain this one.

Also since Scar isn’t Kovu’s father then who is? And when did Zira have time to meet a male lion, mate with him then show her cub to Scar to convince him to let him become his heir? And what about Nuka and Vitani? I have seen a theory that Vitani is actually NALA’S daughter with the implication that the scene where Scar tries to seduce her (which was cut from the movie but used in the Broadway show) had a more horrific ending where Scar impregnated her and somehow Zira ended up adopting her. And while I do love that as a “what if” AU, I don’t consider it canon myself.

Now I’m gonna leave the massive plot holes for now and focus on little character pet peeves that annoyed me:

First of all, Timon and Pumbaa weren’t funny at all in this one. Like they’re one of Disney’s most iconic gay couples comedy duos but they were so “meh” in this. One time I did a screenshot redraw of them to resemble the art style from the first movie and in the description I added a rewrite of ways they could’ve been used better which I’ll link here just for funsies:

And now onto Nala. She was a strong character in the first film, leaving her home by herself to look get help, wasn’t afraid to call Simba out for refusing to go back to Pride Rock, plus she helped fight off the hyenas with the other lionesses. In the sequel? Well she popped a baby out which means now her only character trait is Supportive Wife and Mom. She only showed up to occasionally say “Hey Simba, chill out man, Kiara’s totally gonna be fine, stop worrying” then leave. Yes I know this was a father/daughter story but that doesn’t mean Nala has to be reduced to a robot that’s only capable of repeating phrases letting Simba know things will be fine.

And lastly maybe this one is just me, but I kinda wish Nuka as a tragic character was portrayed more. Yes I know his death scene was absolutely heartbreaking and yes you can tell he was jealous of Kovu getting his mother’s love but he was mainly just goofy comic relief. And I actually don’t mind him having funny moments but idk, I wish the tragic side of him was explored more before his death scene. Idk, maybe this one’s just me lmao.

So after all this you’re probably thinking “Wow are you sure you like Lion King 2? It sounds like you hate everything about it”

And like…I mean…I do but…can’t I also fantasize about how it could be better??

[o-sahiba]

I disappeared from the lives of my school friends. 4 years. For 4 freaking years I had no idea what they were doing nor did they had any clue about me. They knew, I wasn't on any social media except for whatsapp. And I tried my best to maintain connection there with them. But each time I did, I didn't get the same energy back. So I stopped. Altogether. And they didn't even tried communicating with me after that. I was hurt. And when they invited me for meet ups which was perhaps just twice, I denied joining them. Reason? First, I've seen their stories of get togethers where I wasn't invited. Second, I was hurt because of how my presence never mattered to them even while we were in school which apparently I realized with time. Third, I had and still have my own insecurities which makes it really hard for me to socialize. And lastly, I knew it would be a bit difficult for me to ask for the permission. So I denied. Both the times. I told them I was busy. But not the way they'd think. I was busy telling myself that I am better without them. I was busy silencing my mind from the choas it was in because of the betrayal.

They had a group chat on whatsapp since 6 years now. Where the ones who got transferred in 5th standard, the ones who shifted after 10th and the ones from the other sections were included. But I never was. Until a few weeks ago. After my birthday. And No one initiated a conversation there after that unless I did. And soon after that, there this incident happened where after adding another friend one of the old members left the groupchat. And I got this screenshot from a guy friend (the admin), of her (the one who left) text asking him, "why do you keep on adding every useless person?" The way it was phrased in our local language hurt me to the core and upon my questioning him he replied with, "you know she didn't mean it. It's just how she is." And then I asked there in the gc why it took them so long to add me and one of them replied, "we didn't have your number." and I was like oh! Ok. Even tho we had our numbers shared since forever now. And few days after that, they had another meet up and I wasn't invited. That was it. I left the group chat while I was crying over the pain all of this gave me.

Yes! I do regret leaving the group. Because once again, I got far far away from them. Yes! I know I denied meeting them each time they asked me which unfortunately was just twice in a total of 5 years. Yes! The decision to leave the gc was impulsive. Yes! I should have not left without saying a word. But did they ask me the reason? Did they ask me why I left? Did they tried contacting me after that? No. They didn't. Except for 2 who barely asked me the reason and were okay with me replying with "just no reason". And that was the final call. For me to close their chapter in my life. I put an end. I closed the chapter. Because it was the question of my worth and my self respect. Not my ego. But my Self Respect.

And no matter how much I want to talk to them and have fun group conversations, I still am the same person who cried because of the hurt. And I would never let myself forget that. That I cried because I never mattered to them. But now I'm much better.

Because now I know, I was much better before I connected with them again. Atleast I was saved from the pain of all the truth that for so long was sugar coated, in beautiful lies. Yes I was living under the rock, but that was much lighter than carrying the load of this burden.

I am in a much better place now. Now, that I've finally closed this chapter. I am happy. Even though I still question myself if I did the right thing but I am okay, even in this dilemma. I'm okay. I really am.

[fleurdelanuit13]

FFXIVWRITE: Prompt 27 - Sole

Lyla and Lalai sat on a couch in a well-decorated store. It smelled wonderfully of leather and perfume. Refreshments sat on the low table in front of them. They waited for Zhai'a with his vanya robe neatly-folded next to them. He was with another Miqo'te at the other end of the shop, getting fitted for new boots.

Lalai laughed as she and Lyla regaled themselves with memories. "Remember how long he took? I feared he would keep us in suspense until the comet passed again!"

Lyla snorted. "Or until Shantotto's return."

"Huh? Shantotto? Her name is Shatotto."

"Yes, but therrre is an archmage named Shantotto as well. She was in the Shroud a few years ago. Shatotto greatly reminded me of her."

"Why have I not heard of this Shantotto?"

"It's a long story," Lyla said.

"We've nothing but time," Lalai said.

"She was from another world."

"Was it one of those that you've been to?"

"No, but I met another from her world once."

Zhai'a began to walk back to them. "If I remember correctly," he said, "Shantotto was from the Federation of Windurst in Vana'diel." The other Miqo'te took notes as she watched his gait.

"Word probably didn't reach outside the Shroud," Zhai'a added. "It barely reached past Gridania. I only found out because Khloe Bajhiri came to the area I was working in."

The Seeker felt at the boots Zhai'a wore. "Now stand as you would while casting," she told him. He took a conjury stance.

"Pimoh and Oah didn't tell you?" Lyla asked.

Zhai'a shook his head. "Oah wasn't there. Pimoh spared most of the details and just sent me a copy of The Raven instead."

Lalai looked at Lyla. "You didn't tell him either? I thought you'd been colleagues for a long time."

"We're both members of Stillglade Fane," said Zhai'a, "but we were not in contact."

Lyla took a ginger cookie from the snack table. "And even if we had been," she added, "he wouldn't've remembered me."

"We hadn't seen each other in almost ten years," Zhai'a explained. At the Seeker's direction, he took another stance.

Lyla scoffed. "Yes that's the reason, not the crucial detail that I'm a warrior of light and you still would not've remembered." She bit the head off of her cookie and pointed at him with the rest of it. "Hells, you barely remembered me in Thanalan and that was after the spell broke."

"Well I remember you now," Zhai'a retorted. "And do not speak as though you remembered me before I introduced myself."

His tail started to swish but he stopped it out of habit.

"Don't worrry." Still examining his feet, the Seeker spoke up. "You can leave your tail frrree. You won't hit me."

"Ah, right, thank you," Zhai'a replied quietly. His tail resumed its movement. "And you've my sincerest apologies that you must witness all of this."

The Seeker laughed. "No, no, there's no need to apologise," she said. "'Witness all of this'? You do know wherrre you arrre, rrright? This is Ul'dah, mate." She took on a formal accent and smiled sweetly. "My atelierrr is simply closed for an appointment with some mages, and as these mages are Lyla Sylvie, Lalai Lai, and you, Zhai'a Nelhah, I will witness nothing unless you will me to."

The Seeker stood up and spoke to him with her normal accent again. "Now, I'm going to fetch some more styles for you to trrry on. Feel very frrree to keep talking. It'll help me get a better rrread on yourrr aether when we test them out before and after the outsole engraving."

"Perfect," went Lalai.

"Wonderful," Lyla agreed.

"Excellent, thank you," Zhai'a said quickly.

The Seeker darted off through a curtained doorway.

Zhai'a pulled up the vermillion hood of his top and poured himself some tea.

"She said she would not witness what we did not will, yet I feel as though I've been threatened."

Lyla decapitated another cookie mage. "That's because the rest of that phrase is 'Or I shall witness everything until you pay me not to.'"

Zhai'a paused before returning the teapot to the table. "... Of course it is."

Lalai snickered. "What did you expect?"

Zhai'a threw up his arm as he took a sip. "I don't know. Then why did she not finish it?"

Lalai was beside herself with laughter. "We really must work on your observational skills."

"Zhai'a," Lyla said and pointed at her face, "I'm the Warrior of Moonlight."

[ladyswillmart]

“I’m sorry,” he then spouted, pausing abruptly at the foot of the bridge. “I am not very good company tonight, am I.”

Hivallion looked down at the hobbit—in a purely literal sense—upon hearing such a needless apology.

Actually. He wanted to walk that one back a bit; what was the best way for an elf to address a hobbit? Would it be more polite to kneel to his address or would it come off as condescending? Thus far he could only consider his own dealings with a student of his, a native of the Shire village of Stock, and Arlen Askew didn’t seem to mind whether Hivallion stood or knelt or even passed out beneath a shrub after having a single pull of cider from the Bent Elbow in Tighfield.

Actually. The less said about that particular episode, the better.

However, this Baggins character seemed entirely unlike the hobbit Hivallion knew best. For one thing, unlike Arlen’s insouciant (if utterly gormless) approach to the grand carnival of life, Frodo handled his affairs with a great deal of introspection—alas, to such a degree of anxiety that the likes of Gandalf the Grey himself asked Hivallion to take a stroll with the fellow through the fresh and hopefully ameliorative air of Rivendell.

Perhaps the opportunity to speak frankly with a relative stranger—yet one known to myself and others—might go a long way towards easing a troubled heart, the hoary old wizard ventured. Besides, no doubt our mutual friend Elrond has already made him aware that he has something in common with you...

But when Hivallion asked Gandalf what that something might be, he chose not to disclose the specifics, only that it would come as a surprise, should he ever find out.

“That’s alright,” he said, electing to remain upright; this weather was already making his knees ache. “Honestly, I am not usually very good company myself.”

“Oh? But you’ve listened to everything I’ve said so far, I can tell, and I would ask nothing more of a stranger,” Frodo returned with a shrug. “And should I have anything else to say on our walk, I am sure you’ll listen to that too.”

“Rather trusting sort, are you?”

“Elrond himself recommended you to me! He said you were an elf to ride the river with, right as a trivet. That’s a turn of phrase straight out of Tookland, and it sure sounded funny coming from his mouth, but there you have it. He seemed awful proud to know you.”

Hivallion lowered his head, feeling his face burn about the cheeks. In absence of a fierce breeze, he could only attribute the sensation to his own overactive bashfulness.

“Besides, I already know that Gandalf asked you to take this walk with me,” Frodo went on. “It was kind of you to humor us, especially on a cold winter night!”

“The air does have a strange sort of bite to it lately, does it not?” Hivallion noticed, carefully.

“It is December,” Frodo reminded him.

“Indeed, but Rivendell doesn’t bite. Not normally. I wonder if—”

“—well, Master Elrond did tell me that a Morgul-wound might make you feel that way for a long time after receiving it. As if sometimes you simply cannot warm up, even when you’re sitting right in front of the fire. Even after the wound heals, the chill can sort of linger within you like a ghost haunting your very bones.”

“Master Elrond told you all that, did he...?”

“He did. And he told me that you were so badly wounded by a Black Rider’s blade that you slept for years and years! Right there in his house, in the Hall of Rest!”

“Mm.” Hivallion nodded, grimly; he did so wish Elrond would stop telling tourists about this, though he had to concede that it was as much Elrond’s story as it was his own. “‘twas during the Battle of Dagorlad, at the end of the previous age, if you recall your history. I was wounded by the Witch-King of Angmar himself, and yes, I really did spend the subsequent millennia convalescing in Tham Send. But there is no need to trouble your own imagination with such nasty things! That war happened a very, very long time ago,” Hivallion stated, adding sheepishly, “and I am a very, very old elf.”

“Older than Elrond?”

Hivallion nodded again.

“Older than Glorfindel?”

Hivallion tipped his head. Perhaps?

“Older than Gandalf?”

“Well! Not that old.” Hivallion didn’t think so, anyway. “But Elrond spoke true, and in such matters he is an expert: Morgul-steel can do many dreadful things to a person, though I suppose whatever becomes of the victim ultimately will depend on the intent of whoever is wielding the blade.”

“But what did the Witch-King intend to do with you?” Frodo asked. “What happened? And why did it happen?”

And how many times had he been questioned so? Hivallion wondered this as he chafed his bare hands and watched his breath coalesce, delicately frosted plumes visible against twilight and tree-silhouettes. Though far-removed in time and space, the mere reminder of that day only served to amplify the hollow sting of a lonely winter night.

What happened? His friends and allies had been asking him that question ever since the what happened happened, but never Why. To ask Why of a Nazgûl usually felt about as productive as asking Why of a marmot obliterating one’s garden peonies.

But Frodo Baggins obviously possessed good hobbit-sense, and coming from his mouth the question sounded strangely sensible, and produced the notion that perhaps one really should ask Why of such things more often.

“As I remember it, or at least as Elrond and several other friends of mine have helpfully remembered for me, I was scouting an enemy encampment while trying to investigate what became of an ally of ours named Thelaron,” Hivallion told him. “I cannot tell you what I was expecting to find at that overlook, but I can say for certain that I did not expect to meet the Witch-King of Angmar himself, face-to-face—well, face-to-whatever passes for a face to a Nazgûl.”

“Did you exchange words?”

“Oh yes, I should think so. He had a few words for me, at least.”

“Did you exchange blows?”

Hivallion shook his head. “Did we do battle, you mean? Oh no!” He laughed. “Imagine the likes of this old Falathrim trying to defeat a Nazgûl in single combat! No, I am no warrior, Mister Baggins. A-and anyway, I was so petrified—”

“—but then he stabbed you anyway, just like that...?”

Hivallion held his arms together, close and tight against the encroaching cold; their walking pace had slowed to a near stand-still and it would not do for much longer. “Forgive me. The encounter challenges my memory now as much as it challenged my senses back then. But yes, he stabbed me, just like that. I do know that his blade pierced my armor, very close to my heart, and yet I do not think he intended to kill me, not outright...”

But you, Hivallion Pellithorn! You shall be changed, and you will return to Gil-galad as his greatest foe!

Those last words he recalled hearing from the Witch-King, stuffed like an unwanted Mathom into a shadowy, abandoned cobweb-corner of his memories. Probing deeper, Hivallion felt a curious thickening deep within his ears and throat, muddling his balance and producing a vague queasiness and the sensation that he was falling into darkness like a loosened star...

Fortunately his lapse into such disquiet was briefer in reality than it felt to him; Hivallion returned his attention to the hobbit, asking brightly, “This is by the by, but know you the story of the Witch-King, Lord of Angmar? I mean, the man himself, the Númenórean, not the Nazgûl he eventually became.”

“I—”

“—wait! So long as we are posing the Why of things, why would anyone, much less Elrond, ever see cause to dredge up such appalling subjects with you in the first place? Cursed Morgul-steel and ghastly wounds and Black Riders!” Hivallion groaned and apologized. “Oh dear, oh dear! And I was supposed to be helping you clear your mind, not stuff it to bursting with even more horrible things!”

“But you did help, Mister Pellithorn!” Frodo insisted. “There I was, maundering on about my own troubles when there are so many things about my life that I should treasure! My health, my friends! True, I have been given a most frightful task, but at least I am still walking amidst the warmth and wonder of Middle-Earth! When I could have been laid up in a bed for the next three-thousand years...! Imagine that!”

Hivallion, of course, did not need to imagine such a thing. “Well! I am full glad that some measure of good came from my misfortune,” he jested, “that I was able to provide some small comfort for whatever was plaguing you. Just as well, as I believe our little talk is over.”

“Oh?”

The overly conspicuous rustling from a nearby abelia shrub eventually revealed the tumbling form of another hobbit, whom Hivallion did not recognize outright.

“Sam?” Frodo guessed, squinting through the gloom.

“There you are, Mister Frodo!” huffed the eavesdropper—(Sam, yes Samwise Gamgee is this one’s name, Hivallion strained to recall)—as he brushed the twigs and dried leaves from his hair. “You really shouldn't go off by yourself, you know!”

Even in the darkness, Hivallion could feel the bore of Samwise’s keen eyes, aware that he was now being evaluated from top to bottom, and that whatever the hobbit observed did not impress.

“N-now, I'm sure you're a perfectly respectable elf, but I'd just as soon you left Mister Frodo alone,” Sam reported.

“Of course,” said Hivallion, dipping into a stunted half-bow. “But there is no need for alarm. I accompanied him at Gandalf’s request.”

“That may be so, and I don't mean no offense, but Mister Frodo's gotten himself into trouble with strange folk before, if you take my meaning.”

“Oh honestly!” Frodo protested. “Mister Pellithorn is hardly strange! He is Elrond’s friend! And he is familiar with the you-know-whats. A you-know-what did a you-know-what to him, with a you-know-what.”

“Do I know-what?”

“Yes! The things, Sam. The things that are doing the thing because they seek the thing that Gandalf told us not to talk about here.”

“That covers an awful lot of things, Mister Frodo.”

Hivallion excused himself with a pointed cough. “Ahem! Then I do hope you will forgive my intrusion into the business of you and your friend, Mister Gamgee. I had no idea things were evidently so, uh, thing-ish,” he tried. “In fact, perhaps I should be on my way now; I am supposed to be meeting an old friend of mine in town for supper, and no doubt she is now peering into her drink and wondering where I've gone. But never mind that, you two will surely catch your death of a cold out here! Then old Gandalf might never forgive me for that, hm?”

With that, Hivallion and the two hobbits exchanged their good nights and good lucks, with the former graciously leaving the latter with their privacy intact. He did not need any more detail than what Frodo had provided: A you-know-what did a you-know-what to him, with a you-know-what. And that was that. And now the hobbits’ assemblage was about to undergo what he suspected was some Incredibly Important Endeavor, with which he absolutely did not, under any circumstances, want to involve himself.

However, as he continued down the path, veering west towards the markets, his long ears helplessly caught Frodo’s parting shot by the tail end:

“Three-thousand years—! That could’ve been me, Sam!”

“Mister Frodo, what are you talking about...?”

[maravinc]

"Veronica's" [part 5] (Epilogue)

———————————‡~‡———————————

But first, I want to thank @clowny-rolls for the ideas, my two friends for their moral support and myself, for finally fulfilling my little dream after so much time - I wrote a full-fledged fanfiction.

Secondly, will there be a sequel? Perhaps, if I have the strength, time, my own desire and ideas for this. But for now, the "Book One" is officially completed.

Thirdly, is it possible to read this fanfiction somewhere else? Not yet, but I will try to make it more accessible as soon as possible.

Fourth, (for all the "especially knowledgeable"). Yes, it would probably be worth adding the OOC tag... But you know what? This is MY fanfiction. And it's up to me to decide what it's going to be like!)

And that's it. Enjoy.)~

———————————‡~‡———————————

Many would say that "you can't build your own happiness on someone else's misfortune"...

Vinc absolutely does not agree with this well-established expression among the people. And not only because of the methods by which he got Nick, which, by the way, he was still unaware of, despite the fact that tomorrow the once-newborn cute lump turns exactly ten years old...

Someone could say that Vinc's main job is terrible, someone that his work is pleasing to God, someone would ask questions like "who in their right mind would agree to make a living from THIS"...

No, Vinc did not "trade his body", as one might think from the description but he would say that his profession is as old as this one...

Sticking a shovel into the ground, Vinc sighed wearily. It was going to be a long day today, the sun was slowly creeping across an almost cloudless, saturated blue sky like a cornflower, and only a rare light breeze diluted the approaching pre-storm heat.

Vinc looked up at the sky, trying to shield the screen from the blinding sun with his palm and calculating how much time had passed since he had just started digging this grave this morning.

Twitching because of a bird that suddenly chirped on a branch, Vinc straightened up and, wiping his hands from the still damp earth, took the phone out of the inner pocket of his black work cape.

Yes, you got it right. Vinc's main profession is a grave digger. The gravedigger-bureaucrat, to be precise.

And as already mentioned, Vinc absolutely does not agree with the phrase "you can't build your own happiness on someone else's misfortune", because it was other people's misfortunes that led to a fairly stable and good salary for Vinc, on which he quietly lived alone from the age of seven, and now he is also raising his son.

Speaking of him...

Vinc looked at the clock on his phone, mentally noting that it was time to wrap up and pick Nick up from school.

After finishing his work for today, Vinc put his phone in his pants pocket and pulled his favorite shovel out of the mountain of freshly dug earth next to the ready-made grave for some guy's funeral, which was scheduled for the end of this week.

This morning was the most ordinary: Vinc woke up, cooked breakfast for two, woke Nick up, then there was breakfast and a stop at school on the way to the workplace, a cup of coffee and chat with a couple of colleagues who were not particularly sociable like himself, sorting out documents and, finally, digging graves for the deceased.

Entering his room in a small one-story building built near the church of St. Veronica, Vinc took off his soiled cape and threw it on a chair that smelled of damp earth for a long time, and an old shovel took its usual place in the corner of the room near the closet. After that, Vinc quickly washed his hands and wiped his monitor in the employee restroom.

After closing the office and deciding not to put on his jacket, Vinc slung it over his forearm, pulling the car keys out of his pocket.

Not that he really needed her, but he wanted to make the journey from home to work/school and back pleasant (as well as find a reason not to show up at work right away, he-he).

No more than 10 minutes later, a well-restored manually (to the best of Vinc's knowledge and abilities) blue-purple 1970 Ford Mustang Boss 302 stopped again at the main entrance of the city school. Clearly waiting for his dad's arrival, still nine-year-old Nick said goodbye to the fox cub boy, who continued to wait for his parents, and almost ran towards the car, smiling at the whole screen.

- I see someone in a good mood! So how did it go, kid?

- Great! Lily, Lini and Jack promised to come tomorrow! - Nick happily shared the news.

- I told you, now sit down, we need to go to the store for sweets for tomorrow... Oh, yes, since you're a birthday boy, you can choose WHATEVER you want, I'll let you.

- CAKE! - Nick exclaimed.

- Okie, but you'd better buckle up now. - Vinc said, adjusting the mirror.

- Yeah.

After that, the car drove off in the direction of the hypermarket.

After about half an hour of walking between the rows of sweets and decorations, Vinc felt uncomfortable, as if someone was staring at him, but sitting in the shopping cart, Nick didn't seem to feel anything...

Vinc decided to leave the store as soon as possible, which is why the last items on the shopping list were collected less than in five minutes.

After returning home, the rest of the evening spent making small preparations for tomorrow passed more calmly...

On Nick's birthday, both he and Vinc took the day off, as did three of Nick's friends with their parents, with whom Vinc communicated only because of his son, as well as all the employees of cafe "Veronica's", reserved for the whole day.

The party was wonderful, as if by notes: the children are happy, the parents are rested, and everyone is already leaving, but Vinc is restless again... This time, Zel was there, who had known him the longest.

- Hey, how are you, Vinc? Everything okay?

- Y-yes, it's all right... - Vinc said, looking up from the surface of the punch in his paper cup.

- You know that I know when you're lying, right..? - said Zel, clearly unhappy with this answer.

- Eh... Here's the thing, yesterday I had the feeling that someone was watching me, and now it's back, and I don't understand why...

- Maybe it's because for a whole month the shadows of Wendi have been on duty near my cafe, scaring my visitors and employees?

- What?!! Why didn't you tell me?!

- Because you've only been here twice in the whole month, and then you ran home every time. - Zel sighed. - ...Look, I don't know what he wants here, but can you ask? And if anything, just teleport Wendi a few kilometers above some canyon...

- Tsk, okay. Keep an eye on Nick for now.

- Ok. - Zel replied, turning around and heading towards the birthday boy.

- Hey! Hey, you! What does your master need that you've been stuck here for a month?! - Vinc said, looking displeased at a couple of shadows hiding behind the trunks of trees nearby.

- Not to him. He doesn't need anything, but he asked us to tell you that Mr. Michael wanted to talk to you in private.

- Here's another! Go back to your place and tell your "master" that if Michael has made his choice in favor of another one, then let him have the conscience to stay with him, and let him no longer get into my life in any of the options!

After such a short conversation, a couple of shadows began to disappear, but before finally disappearing they heard a warning for themselves: "And never come back!"

The evening walk in the park began as calmly as yesterday evening had passed.

But did anyone promise that it would continue the same way..?

- Oh, hello! Who are you? You look like me! Cool! - Nick exclaimed, which caused Vinc to abruptly interrupt the conversation with Zel, and they both looked towards the already ten-year-old child. But when they saw the reason for this phrase, they immediately rushed towards the two tv-heads who had just begun their conversation...

A son and his second father.

In less than a second, Zel yanked by the scruff of the neck and hugged Nick to her, while Vinc teleported right between them and in one fell swoop slammed Michael's back against a tree, which caused Mike to also hit the back of his head, slightly glitching.

- WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. HERE. - an angry Vinc gritted through his teeth, holding Michael by the collar of jacket and dangerously swinging his forked tail, striking sparks. Nick definitely inherited that part from him.

- I c-came to mak-ke an ag-greement... - It seems that Vinc performed the task of catching by surprise and scaring perfectly.

- Oh, is it true? And about what?! - Michael looked at the equally terrified Nick in the arms of Zel, who was holding her ears back warily.

Vinc turned his head in the direction of his child, giving Zel a look to take him away. Fortunately, she never had to be told twice.

When Zel and Nick were out of sight, Vinc released Michael, crossing his arms over his chest. Although the tail was still swinging discontentedly from side to side while Mike cleared his throat.

- Well? Are you going to keep quiet?! - It was absolutely possible to say that Vinc's patience was running out...

- So... is it... true? Is... this... child... mine? - Michael said between breaths, barely recovering from the shock.

- No. He is mine. But you're partly right – he was conceived from you.

- Why...

- Why didn't I say? Isn't that obvious? You already had a partner. I was just sensible enough not to bother you so much.

- But I had the right to know! I could be with you, and we could raise him together! - Mike exclaimed, catching his breath. - I remember how you asked me then: to be only with you...

- Oh, really? Then answer my question: if you remembered THAT night yourself, then what did you do, despite all the circumstances, that I was forced to cut you out of our lives?!

- ...

- Well! Answer me! - Vinc shouted while tears welled up in his eyes, even if he was trying to restrain himself not only in terms of anger all this time. - What did you do, even knowing the consequences!?!

- ...I... - Mike began, reaching out to the left edge of the Vinc monitor to wipe away the tear that had rolled down with his thumb, but not only...

- ...I marked you. - Mike said, pushing back the collar of sweater and revealing to the light of the street lamp the mark of his own teeth on Vinc's neck, left exactly ten years and nine months ago...

Vinc's legs gave way treacherously, causing him to fall to his knees, no longer able to hold back tears.

Michael sat down on the asphalt next to him, hugging him.

- S-sor-ry-y... - Vinc spoke through crying, responding to hugs. -...I-I s-shoul-ld h-hav-ve t-tol-ld y-you-u ev-veryt-thin-ng....

- ...Hey, no. I'm sorry... that I wasn't there for you... during your pregnancy... or until now.... I'm sorry if you thought I'd be a bad father or partner, but if you... no... If you BOTH give me a chance, I will do everything in my power to prove otherwise... Please, just give an idiot like me a second chance... Please... Let's try again... I... I love you... Please...

The mental dam that Vinc had been building so carefully all this time so as not to drown his own child and friends in his despair finally cracked, and Vinc sobbed with renewed vigor.

- I... I l-love y-you-u t-too-o! - Vinc replied, hugging Michael tighter and continuing to sob when Michael pulled away only to finally kiss him.

- Dad! Dad, are you okay? - it seems that Zel did not go far after all, since Nick, who had escaped from her grasp, was already running towards his no longer the only parent.

- Y-yes, honey, it's okay. - Vinc said, forcibly breaking off the long-awaited kiss, wiping his monitor with the sleeve of his sweater and opening his arms to his frightened child to comfort him.

- I'm sorry, I tried to hold him back, but he's too dodgy... - a breathless Zel apologized as she approached the reunited family.

- It's okay, we've probably figured it out anyway... - Vinc replied, shifting his doubtful gaze to Michael. - I'm sorry for this moment of weakness... But if you only said that to calm me down or appease me, then, firstly, thank you, and secondly... I want you to know that I'm still not going to force or oblige you to anything, so if you want, you can go back to your place. I won't hold you...

- Do you want me to leave and leave my family again? No way! And this is my conscious choice! - Michael replied, pulling Vinc around his waist.

- Um... Dad? So, who is it? - Nick asked uncertainly.

- This? Heh... - Vinc began, making his son comfortable on his lap. - Nick, this is your...

- Hello, Nick. My name is Michael, I'm your second father. - Mike held out his hand to his son. Nick shook it warily in return. - I understand that we didn't know each other at all until this moment, but I promise you and your dad that I will love and take care of both of you, and I will never leave you.

- I don't want to break this very touching moment, but maybe you can continue at home... at one of you at home, not in the middle of the park, sitting right on the road! - finally, Zel gave signs that she was actually still here.

- Your truth, Miss Zel. Let's go home.

- To YOUR home? Nah, not today. This day is not over yet!

- Yeah! There's still a marathon of movies left! - Nick exclaimed, jumping to his feet, while Mike, who had already risen from the ground, offered Vinc his hand.

- I'll take him to your car. - Zel said, heading after the boy who was already running away.

- Listen... - Vinc began. - I still don't really understand why did you choose... me... after all these years?

- Because I chose to be with you, I chose to love you and our son, and I'm sorry if you still think that the relationship with my BUSINESS partner was more than just business...

- I'm sorry... - Vinc said, pressing his face against Michael's shoulder. - ...I'm such an idiot...

- No, I'm sorry. - Michael said, hugging and patting him on the back. - It should have been clarified right away that it was only a job. But... In any case, you weren't the only one who was thinking of killing him...

Vinc pulled away and looked at Michael in fright.

- Although you'll have to bury him anyway.

- So that's who the "no name" is who ordered the funeral... Asshole. - Vinc snorted, again burying the screen in his beloved's shoulder.

- Maybe, but I'm YOUR favorite asshole.

- HEY, LOVEBIRDS, ARE YOU GOING HOME OR WHAT?!? - Zel shouted from the parking lot at the entrance to the park.

- Well, shall we go, mommy? - Mike joked.

- If you call me that again, I'll hit you. - Vinc warned, pulling away and taking Michael's outstretched hand, resting his head on his already familiar shoulder.

And finally, they left the park together.

It seems that one ten-year-old boy really had the "the happiest day" today.

Happy ending.

[talenlee]

Speed of Thought

New Post has been published on PRESS.exe: Speed of Thought

There is a fundamental unfairness to the speed with which I create words and the speed with which you, probably consume them.

these pictures added time

You may be a slow reader, a deliberate reader, or even a widely distracted reader, someone with one of the many focus challenges that I and my cohort are often afflicted (though I do think in the case of myself whatever is wrong with my brain is a byproduct of behaviours inflicted, not something wrong with the wiring at a base level and yes I recognise that even in saying that I am somehow trying to absolve myself from talking to a doctor and getting diagnosed or maybe even medicated in a way that will help me and make my life better but what’s a better time to stop a habit of a life time) and that means that while you may find it very challenging to say, read a thousand words, you’re much more likely to simply not read them than you are to struggle through them over the course of a day. If you are inclined to read long form articles like this one (how long is it? I don’t know yet, I’m not done) then you probably read at a pretty typical speed which

new tab let’s check the numbers not just going off memory

okay so first link I hit says it’s about 200-250 words a minute, sure that’s fine let’s treat that like that’s true. That means a thousand word article is going to take something between four and five minutes to read through and that article, assuming it has images, references and citations and any modicum of research did not take four minutes to write through. Some articles take literally days of broken-up effort, revision upon revision to make sure I’m not misrepresenting an idea or a making a point badly, or really, to just come back to find what it is was I thought was fun about approaching this idea in the first place.

at the time of getting the pics, it was an extra 4 minutes

You notice the breathless pace here? Yeah, I’m writing this as a stream of consciousness. Trying to use the backspace key as little as possible and trying to keep my fingers going which means that I am not doing much to keep the thoughts in my head, stewing around in a little cage to make sure only the good ones get out. I haven’t degenerated to the point where I’m having to make sure I’m not just repeating some pat phrase like I know my brain resorts to at some point – for the longest time as a little kid, I knew that if left to my own devices I would start talking about the DOOM rocket launcher, though not in any meaningful way. I’d just start saying ‘rocket launcher,’ as if I was introducing the concept to a newsreader, realise I’d just done that very weird behaviour aloud, hope I hadn’t done it around anyone who could recognise me or hear me, and then move on with my life.

Anyway, the point is this is me trying to speedrun a thousand words. Checks word count oh hey it’s 534 words at this point, that’s not a great sign, but also doing a bit better than I thought I would be.

Writing a thousand words as quickly as possible, while still trying to hold onto some coherent expression (and honestly betray the mindset of the person who’s engaging in the practice) is a challenge that serves no purpose and yields no reward but does serve, to me to make it very clear exactly the differential between the speed of reading versus the speed of writing. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that, at this point, I do not predict this will be a good article, nor even a particularly clever one, if only because you didn’t need to see the divergence into how I would occasionally start conversations with the air like I was being interviewed on the television by Kermit the Frog, intrepid reporter, and yes, hi, Corey, I know the jpg you’re about to send me.

What it does do however, is make me think about scale.

Because yes, I cannot write a thousand words as quickly as you can read a thousand words (at least, if you’re reading like a book; in a conversation you may not realise how many words fly past you very quickly, and listening to a thousand words on an audiobook has a much more stable meter, for a variety of reasons including best practices and accessibility). But when I write a thousand words down, and you take four minutes reading it, that time differential is pretty bad, for my effort vs your enjoyment. But if it took me forty minutes to write and it takes you four minutes to read and there are nine of you then well boy howdy – I’ve broken even.

this brings is up to 22 minutes

And what if we scale it up?

What if instead of me writing a thousand words in forty minutes, I spend weeks and months honing my craft to excecute a forty minute performance. Not the writing, now, no; because as you know, tomorrow is the start of another Games Done Quick Marathon, in which this question in my mind of speed lurks large.

I thought to myself, what could I write about, during GDQ, that would fit the theme of GDQ, since we’re talking about speedrunning already in all the socials? What would that look like? What kind of things are going to unfold from just that starting point of how fast can bleep bloop bloop bleepily?

This is one of the answers.

That creating things often involves putting in work that is rendered invisible and sometimes dissolved by the experiencing of it. And that that’s okay. And that all of this, in a way, is a performance; that my words are inert, until animated by your mind and the reading, just as the speedrun is an invisible form of play, animated by the player who seeks it. Foucault said something about speedrunning, kinda.

This is a thousand and nineteen words. It took ten minutes.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#GDQ2023

[lubdubsworld]

⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is. 

When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.

Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.

Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.

It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.

I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?

I glanced at the article again.

The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.

I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.

And then my eyes reached the end of the article.

Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.

I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.

But it was impossible.

It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.

I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.

I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.

I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.

But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

And then Jungkook had happened.

Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .

But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.

Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.

A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.

I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.

Showtime, I thought with a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy  to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.

“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”

My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.

With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.

Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.  

“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.

I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.

“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely.  She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.

“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.

“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.

“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.

“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while.  We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”

His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.

How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?

“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.

“is that a problem?” he asked.

I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.

“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.

“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.

“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.

“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.

“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.

“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.

“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.

“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.

“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”

I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.  

“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .

“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”

“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.

“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.

“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.

“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”

I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.

“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.

“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.

“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”

He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.

“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.

Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.

“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.

“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.

“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .

“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.

“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.

I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.

“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.

But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..

The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.

“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”

I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.

Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.

“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.

“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .

“I’d carry you.” He said simply.

“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.

“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”

“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”

His gaze dipped to my lap.

“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.

“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”

And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.

Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.

I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.

It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called Jungkook that evening.

It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.

“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.

“Are you sleeping?”

He didn’t reply for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”

“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.

“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.

“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.

“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.

Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.

“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.

Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong.  She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”

God I wanted to strangle him.

“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”

I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.

“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”

“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.

I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.

“Okay.” I said simply.

“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.

“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.  

“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements  and you have to have  a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”

Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?

“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.

“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”

“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.

“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Alright.”

Silence again. I exhaled shakily.

“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.

“Good night, Jungkook.”

Click.

I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.

She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.

Well, so did I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth  always surprised you.

“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.

“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.

He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.

“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.

“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.

“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.

“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.

“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.

“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.

“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.

“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”

“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.

My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and  I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”

Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.

“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.

“You remember.” I said, pleased.

“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”

“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.

“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.

“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”

“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”

I shook my head.

“Oppa…”

“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.

I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.

But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Namjoon grinned.

“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.

“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.

“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.

He laughed.

“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have  a nice picnic.”

“Namjoon, I can’t…”

“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is  give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”

It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.

I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.

/Jungkook called me back almost at once.

“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.

“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.

“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.

“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”

I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?

“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.

Oh.

“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.

“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.

“No. Why?”

“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.

“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.

“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.

“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”

I stayed quiet and so did he.

“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.

“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”

I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.

“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.

I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.

“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.

“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.

“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.

“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s nice.  You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.

After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”

I frowned a bit.

“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”

Another pause.

“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.

“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.

“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”

Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.

“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”

“I need to go.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loneliness .

It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.

It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,

Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.

And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.

I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .

 Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.

Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.

“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.

Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.

“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .

“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.

“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.

Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.

“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”

I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.

“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.

“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”

I nodded.

“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”

“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”

I leaned back to stare at him.

“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.

Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.

“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.

My heart turned over inside me.

“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.

“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.

“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.

“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”

I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.

“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Alright then.”

“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“

“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.

It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.

“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept

Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.

Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.

“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.

It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.

Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.

Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.

I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.

“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.

She didn’t reply.

I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.

“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”

She looked away.

“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.

“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Jungkook  knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.

“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.

“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.

“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”

She stared down at her feet.

“Yes. I’m greedy..”  She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”

She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.  

“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.

I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.

“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.

I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.

“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.

“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.

“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.

“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”

“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.

“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.

“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.

Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.

The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s

I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone,  simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.

He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.

“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.

“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.

“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”

I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.

“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”

“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.

“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.

“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.

“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.

“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.

“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.

“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.

“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“

“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.

I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.

“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.

“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”

Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”

“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.

I nodded.

“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”

“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.

Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.

“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”

“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”

“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”

I stared at him, biting my lips.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”

It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.

The smile faded.

“What?”

“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.

“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.

“Jungkook , I…”

“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“

“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “  All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.

I stared at him, horrified.

“Jungkook….”

“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”

My throat went dry.

“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”

“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.

“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“

“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.

Jungkook went completely still.

I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.

I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .

He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.

“ A girl?” He whispered.

I bit my lips, nodding.

“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.

“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.

Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.

I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.

I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.

“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to. 

I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.

“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg. 

ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it. 

[mrpenguinpants]

Razor:  Jealous HCs

Hey anon!! As much frustration I hold for crippling oblivious couples, I also love the trope so much. Plus I adore Razor. Even though I try to not call Razor a dog, I still google “jealous dog traits”. Also, I found out both Hanniejji and I secretly HCs Bennet is friends with Razor and Fischl. If genshin won’t give me character interactions then I’ll write it myself.

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Semi Part 1: General HCs

Semi Part 2: Pre-Relationship HCs

Semi Part 3: Cuddle HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

 @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @ aanne2601 @hanniejji​

Razor:  Jealous HCs

Bennet and Fischl are both foaming at the mouth at how deeply in love you BOTH are and yet you’re both equally blind. Fischl wants to grab you by the shoulders and yell at you that Razor returns your feelings and you need to stop doing whatever it is you’re doing. A sad Razor looks like a kicked puppy and even she can’t handle it. But Razor absolutely refuses for anyone to confess for him because he believes that you might just genuinely be uninterested in him. Plus, it wouldn’t feel right if he couldn’t confess himself. It’s his first love, this is important to him.

Bennet thinks it’s really sweet that his friend is in love. Even if he does get a bit pouty that whenever he get’s hurt, Razor will ask if he’s alright and leave it at that. But if you accidently trip Razor is already at your side and fussing over you. Bennet uses this as physical proof that yes, your feelings are returned and this man is in love with you, but you always brush it off as Razor’s nature to be caring. He’s smiling patiently on the outside but on the inside he has his hands in his hair and he’s screaming.

God forbid anything upsets you. Razor hasn’t been around other humans long enough to pick up on most social cues but he does have a good sense of smell. If you’re happy then the wind smells like sweet flowers. If you’re upset then it smells like mint. While Razor usually keeps himself in check and is somewhat indifferent, the second he catches any signs of distress from you he’s on high alert. Until you tell him what’s been bothering you - a group of hilichurls stole your bag of snapdragon flowers - he’s going to be on guard and stressed out. He’s already throwing his claymore over his shoulder to go and fight the monsters that tried to upset you. Wow, what a good friend you say to Fischl. Fischl is ready to punt you off a cliff.  

Razor tries his best to show that he likes you by bringing the things you need and looking like such a proud pup. He looks at you with such hopeful eyes that it takes you a second to register what he’s asking before you feel your own heart rate speed up and pound into your ears. You flush pink before you move to embrace him and ruffle his hair as praise as he nuzzles into your shoulder affectionally. You assume his affectious actions are apart of his wolf nature and how they act so you try not to read too deep into things. Even if Razor seems a bit too happy to be hugging you and receiving pets. Or the fact he doesn’t let anyone else pet him...

Bennet tries his best to help his friend out by giving Razor some advice but considering Bennet himself hasn’t been in a relationship yet, it’s all practical. Telling Razor that he’s seen couples bring each other flowers as a sign of affection, maybe Razor could find some plants to bring you? It ends horribly when he offers you a wolfhook and you just stare at him. He says that these are his feelings towards you but you’re just...so confused?? Wolfhooks have thorns so does that mean he thinks you’re clingy? Isn’t that a bad thing? Are you annoying to him?? But wolfhooks also symbolize wolves so is he saying you’re like family to him??? You’re internally screaming while debating if you just got family-zoned or if Razor is trying to subtly tell you that he doesn’t like you.

Just because Razor is, somehow, unsure if you actually like him or not. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get incredibly jealous and possessive at any unknown presence. He’s still a bit wary of the City due to all the conflicting smells and noises but he can’t help but look so sad when you have to run errands and you can’t visit him. But when you mention that a really nice knight gifted you a flower does Razor see red. He gave you a flower?? Shouldn’t you be happy with his? Why do you need another one when you have his? Is his gift not good enough? Is this your way of saying you’re interested in someone else? This poor boy is on the verge of either running off to go sulk or find the man that gave you this flower, which up until his knowledge - courtesy of Bennet - is a sign of courting, and absolutely destroy him to prove he’s the better partner.

He tries to keep it under wraps since he's been told that while in the City, he needs to exercise restrain and understand that if he enters. He's expected to at least respect the laws and people. But this poor wolf is so feral over this new development and this new smell that's been clinging onto you that whatever worries and isolation issues Razor felt about the city flies out the window as his protective instincts kick into overdrive. He sees other people and even pets as a rival for your attention and love. He just wants to scoop you up and growl at everything as a message to say “this is mine, go get your own”.

Even when the both of you are far away from the city, Razor’s continued mood seems to hang heavy over both your heads. You’re not sure what exactly caused Razor to be on high alert. He’s snapping and growling at everything little thing that comes close, even a butterfly!

You abruptly stop walking to Razor’s surprise as you whip around and frown at him. He can feel a chill run up his spine as he stands perfectly straight as you study him before you hold your palm out and looked at him expectantly. He looks at your hand with a small spark of perked attention before his nose twitches and he goes back to sulking. You’re still waiting for him as he shuffles a bit, his hair that resembled a wolf ear is twitching, before he whines and trots over and places his chin on your palm. He’s looking up at you with the most kicked puppy expression and you don’t even know what you did but you feel like the worse person in all of Teyvat.

“Razor...what’s gotten into you?” you ask gently as you rub circles into his cheek as he nuzzles into your palm. He seems really conflicted as his eyes dart away from your face and he almost looks guilty. He just whines and turns and buries his face into your warm palm. You’ve never really seen him like that before as you awkwardly try and comfort him. Until the same flower slips out of your pocket and you hear something primal growl out of Razor. His teeth are pulled back and he snarls at the flower as his pupils dilate. You quickly get between him and the poor flower before Razor tries to do anything.

“Seriously Razor, what’s gotten into you?” you asked concerned. He quickly shifts his attention to you as he pounces and knocks you over. You left off a soft noise as the wind get’s knocked out of you but you peep when his hands cage you from above. Razor’s red eyes bore into yours and you’re suddenly thinking the air is getting too hot. 

“Do you like Razor?” he asks, tilting his head in a cute pout. It makes you internally coo before you quickly snap out of it. Stay focused! 

“Of course I do! Remember we talked about this?” you say as you remember back to your previous interactions but this only seems to frustrate Razor more.

“No. Not that like. More...” Razor struggles with his words as he tries to piece together the right string of sounds to try and convey what he’s feeling. He seems so conflicted that it breaks your heart a bit. So you reach up and gently rub behind his ear as he closes his eyes and relaxes. He breathes in deeply as his eyes open and his pupils return to normal, but vastly determined.

“Together. Always. Just...us,” Razor says softly as he looks at you hopefully. There’s a small pink dust to his cheeks as his fang digs into his lip in nervousness. You’re not sure why but your heart absolutely sky rockets at it and you can feel your face flush pink.

“Um, yes?” you nod along, you think you’re understanding what he’s trying to say. Maybe he was just upset you were spending so much time in the City and away from him that he felt your friendship was neglected? That would make you really upset. But the way he phrases his words makes you believe that perhaps...

Before you can think more on it. Razor’s face breaks into a grin that nearly blinds you from the pure affection that sprouts from it. He’s already hugging you harder as he starts rubbing his nose and cheek against your neck. Making soft and happy sounds as he nuzzles you. He’s never done that before but you assume he’s just so happy. You breath a sigh of relief that it appears that your message to him was clear enough.

Yeah of course, friends always, you think

Lupical. Partner. Mate, Razor thinks.

---

whistling as I pretend I don’t see your stares. Yeah ik but it’s ok. This is a sorta semi series. We’ll build upon it. But Xiao content is next lol. I’m taking inspiration from this. I mean, when I don’t feel like shit 😷

I’ve been listening to [  Softy - Dear Moon ]. This isn’t the usual kind of music I listen to but it came on shuffle and this is now my mental breakdown song.

Quick edit: Turns out this is an ost from “My Mister”. I’ve never been into kdramas (I think I’ve only seen goblin, she was pretty, and Hwarang) but the cover picture looks so upsetting? My friend is really into tgcf and I believe that had a live action as well. 

[andypantsx3]

Hii can I request a deleted scene for "if I could keep cool" that tells chapter 2 from Shouto's POV? I would absolutely love to c what was going through Shouto's head when he figured out that Y/N was just a cleaning lady and what was the moment that made him want to ask her out when he saw her at his house afterwards! Thank u!!

I accidentally got carried away, so this bad boy is 1.9k!! My apologies lol. I hope you like it!!

It wasn’t every day that someone told Shouto Todoroki to go fuck himself. 

Particularly not quirkless civilians, and never those he’d rescued. 

There was usually a lot more breathless gratitude, some bowing and scraping, and—mystifyingly—a lot of phone numbers, handkerchiefs, and very unsubtle attempts to get a hand or two around his biceps. Shouto didn’t really know what his biceps had to do with it, but he’d seen the same thing happen to Midoriya and Kirishima as well—and Bakugou once, before he’d nearly gnawed the woman’s hands off—so he assumed it was just another social cue he’d never understand.

As little as he cared for social cues, however, he was certain that there was usually a lot more thank you and a little less go fuck yourself involved in the whole rescuing process.

But then, he’d also never told off a civilian for having been kidnapped before. 

A civilian who, he’d come to realize almost immediately afterward, hadn’t deserved it.

When he’d asked his mother her advice over the phone, she’d told him the best thing to do was to be honest and try to start fresh. “White flowers mean forgiveness—tulips new beginnings,” she’d advised him.

So Shouto had ducked into the nearest florist and brought back an apology in hopes that you would accept it. 

He might have known, however, that you’d manage to turn even a simple apology completely on its head.

The clatter of cleaning supplies in his kitchen on Thursday afternoon told Shouto you’d let yourself in for your usual shift. He followed the sound, only for it to halt at his approach, the kitchen seemingly empty as he drew nearer.

He stopped short, fighting down a surprised swell of amusement when he realized you’d ducked down, hiding yourself behind his counters as if anyone, especially a pro hero, might be fooled by that.

“I know you’re there,” he said, keeping his tone even.

He heard a muttered swear word, and then you were rising slowly to your feet, wearing a sheepish expression, and clutching a bottle of windex like a weapon.

You looked just as you had the day of your rescue, though obviously a little less harrowed by a kidnapping. You were dressed casually in jeans and a simple shirt, no indicator that you were an employee of a cleaning service—Shouto felt at least a little justified in his mistake from last week.

You were clearly a college student, the backpack dumped at his kitchen island was evidence of that much, overflowing with textbooks and notes as it was, and you looked just slightly disheveled, like you might have come straight from class.

It was part of some nebulous, unassuming appeal to you, now that he had occasion to notice. He’d remembered your features twisted up in disdain, but they were open in surprise now, your eyes wide, fixed on him. His own eyes were drawn to the scrunch of your nose, a little curl of embarrassment that he suddenly found himself unable to tear his gaze away from.

“I, uh, thought you weren’t supposed to be here,” you admitted to him with a visible cringe.

Shouto almost laughed. He didn’t know much about you, but it was clear to him now that you weren’t anything like a crazy fan. You looked like you’d rather be anywhere but here at the moment. In fact, you looked rather like you might bolt any second.

A strange feeling shifted in his chest, and Shouto cut right to the chase.

“I owe you an apology,” he said simply.

You startled so violently that you dropped the windex. “W-what?”

Shouto sighed, admitting, “My manager schedules the cleaning days. I didn’t realize that you were—that is to say, I thought you were a fan who had broken in and managed to get kidnapped while you were at it.”

You gaped, another confused little expression that Shouto found himself fixating on with an intensity that surprised him. The weird feeling in his chest shifted, burning a little hotter. 

He wondered absently what other expressions he could get you to make.

“Oh, I, um...nope. Not a fan,” you said, and the feeling grew more insistent. 

He paused over the phrasing—not a fan. 

It had never bothered him before, when someone was a bigger fan of a classmate than they were of him, or weren’t really a hero fan at all. Shouto honestly did not quite understand why hero work was so tied up in fandom in the first place, and only attended fan events because his manager’s temper was not a thing to be trifled with. 

He wanted to be a hero who put people at ease, but ease was the last thing he felt with people clamoring all over him. Fighting villains was infinitely more preferable.

So why did your admission that you weren’t a fan of his niggle at his brain, like a particularly insistent parasite?

Who were you a fan of, if not him? 

“...Well, glad that’s cleared up now. I’ll just, uh, go then,” you said, grabbing an armful of the cleaning supplies and shoving it back under the sink hastily.

Shouto had moved before he knew what he was doing, getting himself in between you and the door out to the hallway. 

“Wait,” he said, feeling uncomfortable. “I want to make up for what I said to you. You...didn’t deserve that, especially not right after you’d been kidnapped by a villain.”

He watched you eye the space between his hip and the counter, like you were considering making a break for it. As he watched your face, he felt some strange hope that you might try it, a certainty he would catch you. 

...Why did he want to catch you?

You waved a hand. “It’s fine. You saved me, we can call it even.”

Shouto’s mouth turned down minutely. He’d behaved badly, but surely you’d credit him better manners than that. “It’s my fault you were taken in the first place. I’d like to apologize properly.”

Your face did something weird, then, another distracting little curl of the nose. “You don’t actually have to go fuck yourself,” you blurted.

Shouto stared at you, caught off guard.

“Uh, I mean. You saved my life,” you babbled suddenly. “And yeah what you said to me was super rude, but what I said to you was also super rude. So, um, I’m sorry too. And I really would just like to call it even and forget about it because it’s super embarrassing for both of us and I could literally die thinking about it.”

You stopped suddenly, looking self-conscious like you’d realized you’d been rambling. Shouto almost wished you hadn’t.

“I hadn’t really planned on it,” he said quickly.

“Hadn’t planned on what?”

“Fucking myself,” he clarified. You choked on a shocked laugh, and he let a small smile tug at his mouth—there.

Finally.

Finally you looked a little more comfortable with him. 

Shouto tried hard not to look too pleased with himself.

“Oh, well that’s good, then," you said. Then you puffed up a little, adding, "That’s probably a job for your actual secret lover.”

Good lord. “Not you, too.”

You threw him a smile, and Shouto’s heartbeat tripped over itself. “But I have evidence. I saw that homemade soup in your fridge once with the love note attached.”

It took him a moment to focus on what you were saying, but Shouto recalled the soup in question. It had been quite good, even if Bakugou had spent almost a half an hour ranting about what a weak ass little bitch he was for catching a cold. It had almost been worth it, the soup was that delicious. “Ah yes. That secret lover.”

“Cute pet name, too,” you said.

Shouto let out a low laugh, recalling the note. “You fucking fuck, was it?”

You laughed too, tension easing from your shoulders. Shouto’s eyes hungrily traced even that small movement.

A dawning sense of what was happening finally settled over him as he pronounced, “As it happens, however, I did already plan more of an apology.”

You looked up at him, your brow furrowing. “You planned...more of an apology?”

He gestured to a tall vase of white tulips on the kitchen counter. Your eyes went a little rounder as you observed them. You looked like you weren’t sure if they were for you, as if there were another previously kidnapped cleaning girl lurking about, who might be in need of an apology.

What a fascinating thing you were.

“I’ve been told that they mean forgiveness and new beginnings. I had hoped that we might...start over,” Shouto explained. He couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

“I didn’t bring you any flowers,” you blurted.

He covered up a surprised laugh with a cough, the feeling in his stomach burning hotter. “I hadn’t expected them.”

He watched you turn back thoughtfully to the bouquet, certain now.

Over the phone, his mother had also said white flowers carried connotations of honor and purity. Two notions, Shouto realized with a growing sense of curiosity, that may be entirely inapplicable to his feelings about you.

He didn’t know much about you, but he knew for certain that he’d like to know more. And as he watched you reach out to pluck at a petal, wearing a shy little smile, he thought that yes, honor and purity had very little to do with his intentions at the moment.

You thanked him for the flowers, and Shouto made it clear to you that he hadn’t meant what he’d said about you being unwelcome here. He wanted—no, desired your return now. 

“That’s good to hear, thank you,” you said. Then your smile went a little mischievous. “As you can see, though, it didn’t really deter me.”

Shouto let himself smirk. “If I hadn’t seen the cleaning supplies already on the counter, I would be concerned that you’d come back for revenge.”

“There’s still time,” you joked. “Maybe I was going to play the long game and fill all the bottles with Sprite.”

The mulish statement surprised him into another laugh. “I hope the flowers are enough of a deterrent.”

You looked over the flowers again, then smiled up at him. His eyes caught on your mouth.

“The bribe has been accepted. Your countertops are safe from me.” You paused, then added, “For now.”

The hot feeling was everywhere now, simmering just underneath Shouto’s skin. He left himself lean towards you, relishing in the way your breath caught in a tiny hitch. “Be warned that I will do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of my countertops.”

You complained that he hardly used them, but complied nevertheless. Then you bullied him out of the kitchen, that tiny little scrunch back on your nose.

Shouto let you have your way, making his way over to the couch and settling on it with a book he had absolutely no intention of reading. Instead, as he watched you clean, he considered things.

He had always been straightforward about his goals. Once he’d chosen heroism as his dream, he’d let nothing stand in his way, working diligently all through UA, shooting nonstop through the ranks before breaking into the top five this year, one of the youngest to have ever done it. 

He was deliberate about what he wanted. He worked hard for what he wanted.

And as he wandered back towards the kitchen, questions ready in his mouth, he knew what else he wanted.

He wanted to know more about you.

He wanted to spend more time with you.

He wanted…

Well, he rather thought he wanted you.

I was going to edit this but every time I went to touch it, I made it worse. I hope you liked it anyway!

Garbage Fest masterlist & schedule.