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#and you're doing him no favours for setting him up for a fall
ssaalexblake · 6 months
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Irony is that one of the cautionary tales in 13's era was the dangers and dehumanisation of putting somebody on a pedestal (the master putting 13 on a pedestal bc of some scraps of genetic code, and long story very very short, this ends in him murdering her) bc oof you guys are gonna do the fandom over fawn thing with the new/old showrunner and then turn on him like rabid dogs over something arbitrary and do a metaphorical murder, and this is so unnecessary and could be avoided by just treating him like a person to start with 🙃
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valleydoli · 3 months
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𐙚 Ao3 Fics I’ve read and love 𐙚
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𐙚 infidelity by @tawus (completed)
gojo x fem reader
Your marriage to Gojo Satoru lost its initial excitement, since your husband spent all his time either at Jujutsu Tech or on exorcism missions across the world. To ease your loneliness, you picked up your favorite pastime from your student years — clubbing — behind his back. Too bad that on Satoru’s most recent mission he spots his wife dancing in a nightclub with a bunch of guys in the skimpiest dress he has ever seen on her…
𐙚 desert rose by @sadistic-kiss (on going)
all jjk men x fem reader 😭
Toji Fushiguro finds you during one of his hitman jobs. With no idea what to do with you he decides to bring you home to his house of misfits. They weren’t picture perfect but neither were you.
𐙚 mascara by @/softstellars (on going)
geto x fem reader
You've never been a particularly good person, you're self-aware enough to know it. It's your only flaw, and recently you've actually been working to better yourself. For example: paying for a 30-dollar Uber so you can take your friend home only for her to ditch you for some guy when it comes down to it. Although you’re pissed, you decide to try and make the best of it instead of get into a screaming match with her. It's an easy thing to do when Getou Suguru is offering you everything to do just that. Everything a party entails: liquor, weed, and sex with a perfect stranger. And Getou knows perfectly well you have a boyfriend, so it's not like he'll want anything serious.
𐙚 a pearl by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
The Fushiguros needed a nanny, and the pay was too good to not apply, especially since your family needed financial help. You were the perfect nanny for the kids, they loved you as if you were their own mother. Slowly, you built up the perfect relationship with the family. Especially with Mr. Fushiguro. A man who would constantly visit you after dark. A man who you thought had sincere intentions but at the end of the day didn't care about you. A selfish man who just saw you as a tool to make his wife mad. A man who didn't care about you but didn't want you with anyone else. A man that took away your ability to know what a healthy relationship was. You couldn't speak up about it since all the fault would fall at your feet and would be deemed as the "homewrecker".
𐙚 you, my angel and my saint by @lemonlover1110 (completed and posted on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
sequel to a pearl!
After having an affair with your boss, you're left to deal with the consequences, those being: two exhausting new jobs and a child. A child that he never got to know the existence of. Now all you had to do was keep her hidden, which should be an easy task, right?
𐙚 rings by @/bungeemum (on going)
toji x fem reader
you divorced the man in front of you for a reason. so why was he standing on your doorstep, guilt plastered on his face, and eyes glinting with hope?
𐙚 a dangerous game by @/anaoyuo (completed)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
Both men agreed to a game about who fucks you first, but they didn't play their cards right. Gojo and Geto changed the course of the game when they decided to keep you around for way longer than intended, making you fall for their sweet way to deprave you, and now you have to face the consequences in a gamble that they call their life.
𐙚 fate’s gamble by @/anaoyuo (on going)
gojo x fem reader
geto x fem reader
sequel to a dangerous game
缘分— a story about predestined affinity, set in a world where the intoxicating thrills of wealth intertwine with amorality.
𐙚 him & i by @pharixden (on going)
gojo x fem reader
toji x fem reader
sukuna x fem reader
A cheating husband, a widowed bodyguard and a malevolent fling of the past who owes a favour isn’t a combination for the faint of heart, but not every girl is a damsel in distress.
𐙚 changes by @lemonlover1110 (on going also on tumblr!)
gojo x fem reader
From childhood friends to lovers to mere strangers. Your love story with Satoru Gojo was one from a fairy tail, until it wasn't. When you were twenty-one, Satoru left you without an explanation. Five years later, you meet again but nothing is quite the same. Too many things need to be explained, especially the fact that there's another Gojo that Satoru has yet to meet.
𐙚 the man in apartment 381 by @lemonlover1110 (completed also on tumblr!)
toji x fem reader
Looking for a new beginning after the death of your husband, you move away from town. That's when you meet him, Toji Fushiguro, a widower with a three-year-old son. You two understand each other, which draws you close. Except you two don't realize that feelings would eventually develop, and neither of you want that. Feelings are the last thing you two want after finding out the great damage that they can cause. When you two discover this, it's too late.
𐙚 4th avenue viewing by @/softstellars (completed)
nanami x fem reader
Nanami Kento is intelligent, serious, reserved and can easily catch someone in a lie. It's his job to do just that, he's renowned for it. So when he comes to your university to offer up an internship, it's quite the opportunity. Anyone would jump at the chance, except for you. But no, you just had to be the one caught in a lie.
𐙚 forgotten souls by @/killerpoultry & @/bebobopobo (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
You and Sukuna have been married for years. Even though he is brash, mean, and sadistic, you love him more than anything. While he may not show it much, he truly loves you too. One day you get into a terrible car accident and lose all your memories. You learn to live once more while Sukuna must now get you to fall in love with him all over again.
𐙚 love kills by @/sourome (on going)
i actually don’t know 😭 i think toji x fem reader
The wealthy and successful Zenin family, well respected and seemingly perfect. But all that glitters is not gold. Toji Zenin, CEO and face of the Zenin Group acts like a gentleman but is a vile creature that has ruined many lives, such as yours. That married man dared to play with your mother’s heart many years ago, destroying her sanity and her life and ultimately killing her. Now years later and being all grown up you decide to seek revenge, he deserves to suffer that same destiny and die of love. With the help of a few friends you plan to become a part of his life and his every thought but you didn't take into account his son, that man had the potential to turn your plans upside down.
𐙚 the black swan by @uselesslydamaged (completed)
sukuna x fem reader
Loving someone is easy, but experiencing it is harder.
𐙚 bodyguard by @/succybuss (on going)
toji x fem reader
Your Grandfather, a man involved in unsavory businesses that has taken you under his wing, has informed you that you will be under the care of a full-time Bodyguard. Unhappy with your grandfather's decision, you decide to go out for a night of drinking for your last night of freedom. There, you encounter a man you planned on taking home, but life had other plans in store for you...
𐙚 violet lights by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
In which you're at a party that you should've skipped when you capture the attention of a boy who looks like an angel and grins like the devil. He looks beautiful in the neon lights, and maybe you just want to make your ex-boyfriend jealous, but trouble with a tongue ring does sound like fun, just for tonight. What's the worst that could happen, you know?
𐙚 starboy by @septembersummer (completed)
gojo x fem reader
sequel to violet lights
After your ex-boyfriend gets arrested on national television, you find yourself realizing that you really didn’t know much at all about Gojo Satoru. Well, he’s better known in the Yakuza as The Six Eyes, not that he ever told you that.
𐙚 sweet little lies by @/mooglepaws (on going)
toji x fem reader
Megumi Fushiguro is the perfect Fiancé. Caring, loyal, successful, devastatingly handsome and crazy in love with you. So how and why do you end up fucking his Dad? As your wedding looms and the consequences of your affair unfold, you have to make a choice between the Fushiguro men.
This is a Toji x Reader x Megumi but the smut is almost exclusively Toji x Reader focusing on their affair.
𐙚 the twist of a knife by @darkcat23 (on going)
gojo x fem reader
This world is dull, colourless in your eyes. You are just trying to keep going with your life, not bothering anyone, trying to support your mother and yourself. So what happens when you agree to help your ex one night? And what if you catch the attention of a certain white haired assassin? And he shows you just how colourful this world truly is. or, a story of a girl with a violent mind and a boy with violent tendencies, finding each other, intertwining, and feeding off one another. perhaps it is fate that has brought them together. or perhaps it's something more sinister, something more cold.
𐙚 untameable waves by @/circedemedici
(unknown i guess hopefully i can let you know)
has been taken down i dont know if it’ll come back but if it does i’ll link it! but i’m leaving it here because it was most definitely my favourite :(
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please let me know any other fics you’ve read because i love reading fics with a LOT of plot and also let me know if you end up reading any and you enjoy them as much as i did! :3
i think i used every tag known to man LOL 𐙚
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alastorss · 3 months
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a/n: hihi @bri22222 !! tumblr for some reason ate your ask in my inbox but here is the cat demon!reader taking care of sick alastor request you sent <3 i hope you like it!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
You had taken it upon yourself to become Alastor's own personal nurse when he got sick, despite his outspoken displeasure in being babied.
He was an Overlord, for god's sake, and one of the most feared at that. There was a certain irritation in him when you would show up to his room (which didn't even have a bed in it until he fell ill and you decided to push one in yourself, much to his dismay).
You'd sport all kinds of goods; warm jambalaya, his own mother's recipe, that he would deny even though he was itching to eat it. Some cough drops that tasted horribly of sickly sweet honey and lemon. Fresh boxes of tissues since he was going through them faster than you could imagine.
The worst of them all was when you would show up at the foot of his bed with little rodents, eyes wide and expectant for praise that would never come. Then you'd settle in his bed, curled up in his lap like you owned the place, and fall asleep.
While the warmth was nice, which he would never admit, and he liked the feeling of his hand smoothing down the hair between your set of drooping feline ears, he's not sure how much more of this he can take.
"You know," he starts one day when you sit at the edge of his bed, straightening out the duvet as you do. "I do wish you would stop fretting over me."
"You're sick," you deadpan. "And you took care of me when I was sick. At least let me return the favour."
He grimaces, remembering how miserable you looked when you caught a nasty flu a few months ago. Who knew cats were so pitiful when sick?
"Really, dear, it's fine! I was just helping a friend."
You frown, unconvinced. "And I'm just helping you back! Come on, you can barely go downstairs to get food by yourself."
"I'm perfectly fine!" He mutters between his grit teeth, smiling bordering on baring his fangs at you. Unfortunately, he doesn't do a very good job at intimidating you. Not after you've already seen his soft side of clinging to you like you're his personal heater.
Of course, his cursed demon body decides to betray him at that exact moment and he falls into a coughing fit, sputtering as he rakes in sharp breaths of air.
You're quick to climb over the bed to him, straddling his lap and forcing him to drink from his glass of water. He glares at you but drinks without refusal.
Alastor is the Radio Demon. Owner of souls. Entertainer extraordinaire. Yet here he is, taken down by a pathetic fever and being coddled by his favourite feline.
He carefully pinches your tail to get you to pull away from him, yelping in the process. "I'm fine," he hisses. "I don't need your help. I don't need to be taken care of!"
Your ears flatten against your head at his tone and you scramble off of his lap, cowering like a wounded animal.
For a moment he feels a flash of remorse, or whatever feeling has replaced what would be guilt in that black heart of his. He even considers opening his mouth to say something more reassuring. But then you scurry out of the room and slam the door behind you. His ears ring from the echo of it, then deathly silence follows.
Alastor reaches over to drink from his water glass on his own, only to realize it was knocked over in the commotion.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
He counts the days that pass, subconsciously or not, and feels his smile shrinking by each daylight.
Sure, he was quick to temper, but he had never lashed out at you before. It's an awful feeling that sinks into his stomach, making him dread what's to come when he fully recovers.
Worst of all, he was wrong. He does need your help.
It was peaceful at first and he enjoyed the silence that came without your company. However, he hadn't realized how accustomed he had grown to your ambient presence.
How had he never realized you were so loud when you made your entrances, or that you purred ever so slightly when he scratched just behind your ears? And was he really so weak that he was thinking of apologizing? He can't stand the idea that he may have frightened or hurt you.
It used to be so easy for him to sit with his own thoughts. Nowadays it's hard without getting to hear about your day or getting to fluster you with his incessant teasing.
He's cold, too. He would gladly let you fetch him a hundred rodents if it meant getting to hold onto you in his sick state.
On the fifth day, he decides he's had enough. The demon doesn't even bother knocking, instead opting to materialize from the shadows and jumpscare you from behind.
"I'm..." he seethes through his teeth, eyes thin and twitching.
You tilt your head at him curiously, prickled hairs flattening back down as confusion replaces your adrenaline. "You... what?"
"I'm sorry," he finally manages to get out, though it comes strained and awkward. Still, he swallows his pride and avoids your eyes while he continues. "I was wrong."
You stare at him blankly for a few seconds, intrigued by the sight of such a powerful Overlord trying to do something as uncharacteristic as apologize. In the end, you can't contain your laughter.
He glowers at you as you topple over in your bed in a fit of giggles, wiping away the tears in your eyes.
"Oh, you sap. Come here!" You sit up and open your arms wide, a big, cheeky (and smug) grin spreading across your face.
Grumbling, Alastor shuffles into your bed and collapses into you, effectively crushing you under him. You don't seem to care, arms tugging him closer and tail brushing over his body.
"You missed me that much?"
"One more word out of you and I am leaving."
"Aww, so that's a yes?"
The Radio Demon only sighs, heavy eyes drifting shut in your warmth.
"Don't get it twisted, dearest. I will not be thanking you for putting rats in my sheets every morning."
~
taglist: @the-lake-is-calling @dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice @averylonelysea @bri22222 @cxrsedwxrlds @amarokofficial @anae-naea-zacheria (send an ask to be added!)
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fallingdownhell · 1 year
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Genshin men when you bring them home to meet the parents and they find out that your sister is the favored child of the family and she now has her eyes set on them.
Uhhh, I really like that idea.. It has so much angst potential... but am I gonna do it...?
Characters Included: Heizou; Thoma; Alhaitham
Content: gender neutral reader; reader has a sister; slight cursing; some jealousy themes; nothing else besides that
Word count: 2k words
Have fun reading!<3
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Heizou
He is so fucking nervous!
He is good at hiding it, but you know him by now, you know how he gets and how he acts when he doesn't want others to know his true feelings, so you know and are aware of it
Heizou knows about your strained relationship with your family. Your parents having favoured your sister over you, no matter the circumstances
you did have contact with your family, but it was on a very low, unregular basis. Not that he minded that, though. It was your life, your decision. He's sure you wouldn't do that without having a good reason for it.
You had agreed on a nice, easy dinner at your parents house where they would get the chance to meet your boyfriend for the first time
upon arriving at the house where you spent your childhood, Heizou got more and more nervous. Somewhere along the way, he grabbed one of your hands, holding it tightly in his own.
you tried reassuring him, giving him a small smile as you held his hand, and it did help him a bit
soon, your mother answered the front door, followed by your father and introductions were made
Heizou held your hand throughout the entire thing, not daring to let go of you, but he seemed to relax more and more as the seconds went by
your parents noticed this as well, looking briefly at your joined hands, but chose not to say anything about it
you sat down on the table and a few minutes later, your sister arrived
she was acting entirely over the top with you, throwing herself at you and acting far too friendly. It made you somewhat uncomfortable, but you didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin the good mood that everyone has
for the first few minutes of dinner, everything seemed fine. Conversations were held, your parents asked Heizou some questions, nothing too bad
but then, your mom made some comment about you again, and it all went downhill from there for you
"You know, you're exactly the type of man we always wanted for our daughter. Are you sure you want to settle with (name)?"
then, your mother proceeded on to tell him every little thing about your sister. How she was working a much better job than you with better hours and more pay. How she was more beautiful than you. How she was just in general the better choice between the two of you
Heizou was dumbfounded by this behaviour and he now understood entirely why you had almost no contact with your family. This has been your entire life? Archons, he wanted to rip them a new one, for your own sake..
your mother was still rambling on, your sister just sitting there, smiling at Heizou, thinking that he was considering his options
everyone, including you, was surprised when he suddenly slammed his hands on the table, making all eyes fall on him
"With all due respect, Ma'am. I would rather die than do something so horrible to (Name). They are a wonderful partner, the best I could ever wish for. So, pardon us, but we are going to take our leave now."
with that, he grabbed your hand and you both walked out of the house, ignoring the calls of your family for you to come back and that they didn't mean it like that
secretly though, you were so glad and relieved. When your mother started saying stuff like that again, you just mentally accepted that this was it, yet again.
But Heizou surprised you and stood up for you against your own family. It made you feel so incredibly loved and cared for
that night, he hugged you closer to him than ever before, now reassuring you that you were his number one, that he loved you only and would do everything in this world, just to see you smile again...
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Thoma
He's such a sweet partner, always caring about you and making sure that you're comfortable with him
Thoma likes to be a provider in a relationship. In the sense that he likes to cook for you, help you clean up, doing little things for you around the house. It's his way of saying "I love you"
Thoma will never push you into doing anything you don't want to, or making you open up to him
he's more than happy to take things slowly, earning your trust
and when you finally open up to him about whatever things you want to talk about, he's there for you, listening to everything you have to say without interrupting you
he also knows about the strained relationship with your family. He might not know all the details, but he knows enough to trust you in your decisions regarding the matter
he would never comment on it or make you do anything since it's not his place to judge or intrude on
with that being said, it just so happened that one day, while out shopping for ingredients, he ran into a certain someone
well, more like, a certain someone that ran into him. She profusely apologized for running into him and somehow got him tangled up into conversation
Thoma, being the nice person that he is, tried finding a way out of the conversation without coming across as rude. But, honestly, he just wanted to get home to you as soon as possible
Somehow, the conversation shifted and the topic of partners came up. Thoma said that he was happily taken right now, but she just kept pressing with her questions until your name slipped out his mouth
Thoma could clearly see how her eyes lit up at the mention of your name and he had a feeling that she would just bombard him with thousands more questions
so, he quickly made up an excuse and got out of there, walking home at a fast pace
once he arrived, he told you about the encounter he just had, which made you think. It all sounded strangely familiar to you, even his description of the person rang a bell somewhere in your mind
however, you didn't have much more time to dwell on those thoughts as a knock could be heard from the front door
exchainging glances, you went to answer the door, only to find your sister standing in front of you
eyes wide, you wondered how she found you here, but that question was quickly answered
"Oh, so you ARE his lover! God, now I'm so glad I followed him all the way back here!"
She threw herself in your arms, then quickly abandoned you and went inside your home. You were still so shocked and didn't realize this but when you came back to your senses, you quickly went inside again to the kitchen were you heard her voice from
Thoma was looking at you confused as well, but she just continued talking to him like nothing had happened and they were still out in the city where she ran into him
"...I mean, I'm so glad it was you! You're so handsome, and strong apparently for carrying all those bags back here! Say, why are you with (Name) anyway? Like, they have no redeeming qualities. You should look for more suitable partners, like me! I could give you so much more!"
She smiled at him like her little speech would be all it takes for Thoma to change his mind. The sad part was, you were expecting it to work as well, having dealt with exactly that your entire life, she always got what she wanted
"...Out.", Thoma said. It was the only thing he said, but his tone was so unusal from his normal self. It was cold and demanding, making your sister shiver in her place.
She quickly grabbed her stuff and left your home again, not saying another word
You looked after her for a second, but then in the next you felt two strong arms wrap around you from behind, his face burrying itself in the crock of your neck
for a long time, he remained silent, before he spoke again. "Sorry. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that for so long."
you were perplexed at his words, but quickly hugged him back, silently thanking him for staying by your side
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Alhaitham
To most people, Alhaitham comes off as a cold and calculated person without any emotions
most people will be surprised when they find out that he was indeed in a committed relationship
and they were even more surprised when they find out how sweet, loving and expressive you are
most would think that he would want a partner similar to him, closed off and not all that social. But you are the exact opposite to that
Not that Alhaitham was paying any mind to the opinions of others about him and his love life in the first place
To you, Alhaitham was the most ideal partner you could have hoped for
he was caring, attentive towards you, listened to you even if he didn't give that impression
his attention was always on you, you were in his thoughts when not with him. Just completely head over heels for you
However, he would not know about the strained relationship with your parents. He knew you weren't in much contact with them, and that's all he really needed or wanted to know. He never bothered you about it
But then, one day, you asked him if he wanted to meet your parents. You seemed unsure about the proposal, but in the end, he agreed to it nevertheless
the days before the event, you became a nervous mess. Alhaitham had no idea what was going on, but he tried to be there for you and support you
he did ask if you wanted to talk to him about anything, but you declined and he didn't push you anymore after that
then, the evening finally arrived where you were meeting up with your family at a local restaurant
when you arrived, your partents and sister were already there, waiting on the two of you. your mother spotted you first, waving to grab your attention
you then went over to sit with them
Introductions were a bit awkward at first, but after a few minutes, things seemed to settle down a bit as your parents engaged in conversation with you, trying to catch up on things
However, it quickly became clear to Alhaitham that your sister was always trying to upstage you with absolutely anything. You got a good job? Well, she got an even better one. You got paid so and so much? Well, wouldn't you look at that, her numbers were even higher than yours
at first, you tried to ignore it, but as always, your parents quickly began ignoring you again, instead congratulating your sister on how good she was doing for herself. It dampened your mood quite a bit, but you still wanted to give this a chance
that was, until your sister said something very specific. "Yeah. The only thing missing to top it all of would be an amazing boyfriend now. Say, Alhaitham. Why don't you dump my sibling and get with me instead?" She even winked at him after saying this
Immediately, your parents agreed to her proposal, looking expectantly at Alhaitham
said man only took a quick glance at everyone at the table, before throwing some money on the table, grabbing your hand and standing up, heading for the exit
"I listened to you disrespecting my partner for long enough. And you wonder why they hold no contact with you anymore. Really, I'm glad they got out of your grasp."
With that, you both left the restaurant. None of you spoke a word until you got to Alhaitham's house again, where he immediately pulled you into his arms as soon as you were inside
so for a while, you just stood there in his embrace while he silently reassured you that you had nothing to worry about
you were the only one to him and he would spend his entire life proving this to you if necessary..
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pedrito-friskito · 1 year
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hey kay bb!! hope you're doing well 💖
mando has been on the brain lately so i'm requesting fluffy smut with him pls 🥺😫 (the yearning is *extra* today)
niiiiiiiiik my darling my dear hope you are also well 💗
ok…this got away from me. I blinked and suddenly a plot! exposition! SMUT! (multiple scenes at that) all the things. I’m a slut for Din Djarin and it really jumped out on this one.
(smut below the cut, a full plot, the helmet comes off, a bit of inexperienced!din, reader is kind of a bad ass, descriptions of bodies, unprotected p-in-v sex - wrap ur shit even if ur in space ok)
sleepover saturday
uncharted territory
(word count 9.1k - it REALLY got away from me okay)
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gif by @aceofwhump
Then you are a Mandalorian no more.
Din Djarin aches in a way he has never felt before, much more powerful than any injury he could ever sustain. His Creed, demolished. His son, gone. His life, upended. As he staggers out of the Covert, trying to think of where to go next, he cannot shake the feeling of lost that settles around his shoulders like a cloak.
Maybe coming to Glavis was a mistake; maybe he should have stayed back on Nevarro, kept taking jobs from Karga until he finally had enough credits to take the old man’s advice, get himself a camtono full of spice and disappear into the Twi’lek healing baths until he forgot the whole thing.
The truth of it? He knew he could never forget. There wasn’t enough spice in the galaxy to help him forget it all. It wasn’t possible. And the larger part was that Din didn’t want to forget.
His leg aches as he walks. The bacta Paz had sprayed him down with had helped some, but the ache runs deep, and the drills the Armourer had forced him to run with the Darksaber had only made matters worse. He should find a place to lie down, to hide for the night before he decides what he plans to do next, where he plans to go.
Where will he go?
You are a Mandalorian no more.
The echo of the words make his head split, and for a moment, he has half a mind to wrench the helmet off, to launch it off the ring, let space swallow the beskar whole. But he stops himself; it feels as though his armour is all he has left.
His armour, and the Darksaber. The right to the throne of Mandalore.
Maker, he can’t think straight. The ache only worsens, his limp more prominent, and it gets to the point where he can take no more. He falls onto the nearest crate, his injured leg stuck straight out in front of him. His body feels twice as heavy, his head even more so, and he tips it back against the wall to lighten the load. He’ll rest just a moment, he’ll just shut his eyes for one—
“Mando?”
Din pulls his blaster from his holster as his eyes shoot open. There’s the sound of shuffled steps, something metallic hitting the floor, a murmured dank farrik! He hits a button on his vambrace, turns off the thermal setting on his visor.
“Sweets?”
You look exactly the same as he remembers. It’s been ages, but he could never forget your face. He knows what’s underneath your clothes, too, and the memory speeds to the surface of his mind faster than a pod-racer.
+
Before he had an in with Peli on Tatooine, the Razor Crest routinely parked and tuned up in Hangar 3-5, he had you. You were well-known within the Guild, had more than a few contracts with different gangs and hunters in the galaxy. If something on a ship broke, you were the one to fix it, and you had enough heavily-armed thugs on your side to make anyone think twice about trying to mess with you.
Some called you the Mechanic, simple and descriptive. Others, those you let a little closer, knew you as Sweets, a moniker earned by your penchant for candies and treats. You’d let your favoured clients off easy if they were short a few credits, but had something sweet from the far reaches of the galaxy to offer in lieu of the missing cash.
Din knew he was one of your favoured clients, perhaps your favourite. Or, had been. You’d crowed endlessly about the Crest, desperate to get your hands on it any time he hauled it in for service, whether it actually needed it or not. Sometimes he genuinely needed something fixed, some times he’d found some candy or sweet in a far off corner of the galaxy that he’d brought back just for you.
Other times, he just wanted to see you.
You were sweet in other ways, too. He knew first-hand. And he knew he was the only client you let into your bed. He’d been drawn to you the first time you’d been introduced — a common contact between you and Din sent him your way when the Crest was in serious need of a tune-up, and you were the closest mechanic he could get to without doing more damage to the ship.
Your knowledge astounded him, to start. You were barely into a diagnostic and you knew exactly what needed to be fixed, what parts you had and didn’t, how many credits it was going to cost him. And you hadn’t even set foot on the ship yet. Your competency drove him wild, only spurred on when he brought you aboard the Crest to give the interior a once-over, eager to see if he’d kept everything original, or if you had any modifications to offer that he might be interested in. Din followed you around the ship silently, answering whatever questions you had, mostly just watching you work. It was intriguing beyond belief.
“That’s not much of a bed,” you’d commented, cocking your head to the side when you hit the button that opened the bunk. “When’s the last time you had a new mattress?”
He just shrugged.
“One thing you should know,” you said over your shoulder, descending the Crest’s ramp, heading back towards the entrance to your shop. “I don’t use droids.”
Din nearly fell over. “That’s not a problem.”
“Good,” you replied, tapping at your data pad, your brow scrunching. “It’ll take longer than your usual hangar; I do everything myself.”
“I’m happy to wait,” he said, dipping his helmet, thankful it was hiding the way he was raking his eyes over you. I don’t use droids. Had someone made you in a lab somewhere, on some backwater planet, just for him? “I know she’s in good hands.”
The grin you’d offered him was sweeter than anything he’d ever seen, and you shooed him out a moment later, muttering something about getting back to work.
When he returned three days later to retrieve his ship, he almost didn’t recognize it. You’d repainted most of the outside panels, replaced all the ones that were missing, and the engines were so shiny Din could see his helmet reflected in them. Inside the Crest was another story; you’d outfitted him with a carbonite cell system, top of the line and primed for use. That meant no more mouthy bounties, no more wasting durasteel cuffs and gags when he could just hit a button and have a quiet ride back to the Guild.
And in the bunk, a new mattress, complete with a pillow, and bolted on the wall, a mount for his helmet.
“You don’t sleep with that thing on, do you?”
“The carbonite system,” he nearly sputtered, rubbing a gloved hand over the back of his neck. “I don’t have the credits, I didn’t—”
You poked the toe of his boot with your own. “Call it a gift, Mando. Let’s just say I shouldn’t have had the thing hanging around to begin with.”
“Is that gonna cause me any problems?”
“Nope,” you replied, popping the p. “Wiped all the identification numbers from the system. No one will know where it came from. Except you.”
He stared at you a long moment. “Except me.”
He was sure to pay you in full, plus the candied flowers he’d found at one of the vendors in the markets. You’d smiled again at that, and while Din committed the sight to memory, he also promised himself that he wouldn’t let it be long before he saw your smile again.
And he kept that promise. The next time he landed the Crest in your hangar, it wasn’t because he needed a tune-up or new parts. He’d struck gold at a black market on Coruscant; his bounty had lead him into the belly of a sweet shop, and after the Gungan had been dealt with, Din did some hunting of his own. He took as many boxes as he could carry, trying to take one of each flavour, a few extra of the ones he’d seen on the shelf in your shop.
“What in Maker’s name are you doing here?” you’d called as soon as he landed, stepping out of the shop and into the hangar, your hands on your hips, cocked to one side. “You ruin my handiwork that fast?”
“Not exactly,” he’d replied, walking down the ramp, his arms laden with goodies. Your eyes had gone huge. “I come bearing gifts.”
“For me?” you cried, gasping as you took the boxes from him, tongue poking between your teeth. “Mandalorian, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me.”
He’d never been so grateful for his helmet at that exact moment. He might have crumbled to dust if you’d seen how red his cheeks were. “I-I owed you,” he stuttered out, “for the carbonite.”
“You didn’t owe me anything,” you quipped, swaying from side to side on your feet, staring down at your treats. “I told you, it was a gift.” You gave him one of those smiles again, and Din felt his stomach twist at the glitter in your eyes. “Why don’t you stay a while? I’ll feed you and everything.”
You disappeared into the shop, and Din paused a moment before following.
He saw you disappear behind a dark curtain that had definitely seen better days, and Din followed your further to discover there was an apartment of sorts attached to the shop. Apartment was perhaps too kind a word; it was one large room, a kitchen to one side, a large futon spread in the middle. Trunks and boxes and crates stacked along the far wall, a few grease-stained jumpsuits littering the floor. You stumbled over your feet trying to pick them up, tossing the offending fabric into a nearby crate, before you turned back to him. “What are you hungry for?”
You served him first. Noodles with dark sauce and some kind of shredded meat you thought was bantha but weren’t quite sure. But, as you stated with a shrug, “it’s good, and it hasn’t killed me yet.” After you slid the bowl across the table to him, you turned back to the stove and stayed that way. After a moment, Din wasn’t sure what to do, but then your head turned slightly, your eyes trained directly to the left, not wandering towards him over your shoulder. “I won’t look. Swear.”
He lifted the helmet just enough to shovel the food into his mouth. You were right, the mystery meat was good, and the sauce you’d made to go with it was even better. He nearly inhaled the food, not wanting to keep you too long, and when the helmet slid back down, the mechanism hissing back into place, your head turned again, still not looking at him.
“You’re safe,” he said, sliding his empty bowl back across the table.
You turned fully, serving yourself, and he expected you to sit across from him, keeping a bit of distance between you, but instead, you rounded the table and plunked yourself down on the stool right beside him. You ate much slower than he had, and Din let his eyes graze over you. The streak of engine grease on your cheek, the scar that split your lower lip, the intricately messy way you wore your hair. A silver chain sat around your throat, strung with a tiny silver ring. It disappeared down the front of your shirt most of the time, but right then it sat awkwardly, the chain caught on your collar, the ring sitting in the hollow of your throat. He resisted the urge to reach out and fix it.
The jumpsuit you wore was nearly identical to the ones you’d hurriedly swiped off the floor. Torn on one knee, zipper unfurling beneath your chest, a symbol he didn’t recognize patched onto your thigh. You’d tied the sleeves around your waist like a belt, a dirty rag tucked in at your hip. The Mechanic, herself. Sweets.
He thought you were beautiful. He had a feeling you’d look beautiful in anything.
Or nothing.
Din was distracted by your thumb at your lips, swiping a drop of sauce from your chin and sucking your finger into your mouth. His flight-suit was tight beneath his beskar to begin with, and you weren’t helping matters. “So,” you said simply, reaching for your food again. “Tell me a story, Mando. A good one. Best bounty you ever caught.”
The conversation filtered between you two easily. You were a good listener, easy to talk to, and Din felt like he couldn’t stop talking to you, telling you about his first kill, his first bounty. His first ship, before the Crest. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you about the before, before the Guild, before he was just the Mandalorian, when he was just Din Djarin. A foundling. Part of him wondered what you think, what your reaction might be to his past, but a larger part forced his mouth shut.
At some point, he turned himself towards you on his stool, one arm braced on the table, the other resting on his thigh. After you finished your food, you leaned heavily on the table, your head pushed into your palm, legs crossed at your ankles, swinging slowly, the toe of your boot tapping his shin every once in a while.
He could see you were tired, the way you started covering your yawns and rubbing at your eyes. “I should go,” he said, starting to get to his feet. “You’re tired, and I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
Your hand flashed out quick — not quick enough to startle him, though — and wrapped around his wrist. You’d managed to wedge your fingers right into the space where his glove met his vambrace, and he felt you against his pulse, against his bare skin. “You don’t have to leave, Mando.”
Din. He wanted to tell you. My name is Din.
Slowly, his own hand reached out, hovering in the air, shaking more than a vibroblade. He saw your eyes trace its path, watching until it lowered, dropped until the flat of his palm met the curve of your thigh. His gloved fingers wrapped around the meat of your leg, his thumb pressing towards the inside. 
He heard you gasp. 
He moved forward an inch, and his hand moved higher, thumb riding the seam of your jumpsuit. You hummed, fingered squeezing around his wrist, and Din moved closer, until he had one leg between yours. He let his hand wander higher, listening carefully to the changes in your breathing, the hitch in your throat. The heat between your legs was almost stifling, and something feral in the back of his brain screamed for more.
Whatever snapped in him, it seemed to break in you at exactly the same time. You both shot to your feet together, and Din’s hands moved to your waist, to where your sleeves were knotted at your waist. Yours roamed his chest plate, fingers tapping along beskar until you hooked them in his cloak. He halted his own hands, ready to help you remove the fabric, but you handled it just fine on your own, finding the hidden snaps with ease.
His blood turned to flame when he felt your fingers along his throat, seeking his pulse in another spot. “You should stay,” you breathed out, your voice barely above a murmur. “Please, Mando, I want you to stay.”
He forced himself to nod, his mind now preoccupied with ripping his gloves from his hands. He needed to feel you, no barriers in between.
He needed to see you, something in him screamed, no barriers in between.
He silenced that voice before it could spur him further. Busied himself with diving his hand beneath the waist of the jumpsuit, the broken zipper catching on his wrist. You were even hotter beneath, and he sucked down a breath when he found you wet, slick coating his fingers.
Your body leaned into him, chasing his touches, and he hooked his other hand around your thigh, lifting you up and backwards onto the table. He could feel you watching, your eyes moving from his helmet down his front, to where his hand was jammed beneath the jumpsuit. He crooked one finger, testing, pressing it into you, and grinned beneath his helmet when you moaned.
Din hooked his arm under your waist, lifting you just enough that he could maneuver the jumpsuit over your hips, down your legs. His cock jolted between his legs at the sight of you bare, leaned back on the table, your chest heaving. Even though the visor, he could see how slick you were, the evidence shining on the insides of your thighs.
He wanted to taste you.
He pushed the thought away again. Another time, when he wasn’t smearing the inside of his flight-suit with precum, when you weren’t keening into his touch as he dragged his fingers against the sensitive skin between your legs, when he could turn the lights off and shed his armour, bare himself to you the same way.
You moaned again when his fingers found your clit, drawing a sloppy circle that had your muscles tensing against his hand, knees closing against his hips. “F-fuck, Mando,” you ground out, tipping your head back on your shoulders. “You’re good with those hands.” Another stuttered breath as he twisted his wrist, curling two fingers just inside your entrance, thumb stretching up to swipe over your clit. “Really good.”
He was grinning beneath the helmet again, eyes glued to your face as he pressed further, fingers threading deeper into you. He could feel everything, the twitch of your thighs, the clench of your cunt. You reached out with one hand, using the other to balance yourself, and closed it around his elbow, your fingers digging into the thick fabric so hard he was shocked your nails didn’t bite right through.
“How do you like it, Sweets?” he asked, leaning forward until he was nearly hovering over you. Your hand moved from his elbow to chest, fingers hooked in his armour. “Tell me what you need.”
Your hand moved again, this time moving straight down his front, past his waist, right between his legs. His cock throbbed as you palmed him, a cat-like grin on your lips as you tilted your head level with the visor. You leaned up slightly, pressed your lips to the beskar edge that mirrored his jaw. Another squeeze, and the slow pace of his fingers faltered, his head nearly smacking into yours. “I need this.”
Din couldn’t hold back anymore. Something in the way you stared up at him, eyes tracing over the helmet, told him you didn’t want him to.
“I like it rough.”
It all happened in one fluid motion. He pulled you closer, right off the edge of the table, and you spun in his grip, leaning forward over the table, planting your hands flat. The jumpsuit slid further towards your ankles and you arched your back, your ass grinding against his hardness, and Din groaned audibly, tilting his head towards the ceiling. Your legs spread as much as the jumpsuit would allow, and Din worked his own zipper down, freeing himself from the flight-suit. You made the most delicious noise as the tip of his cock smacked against your ass, the tip dripping with precum.
Your head turned as he took himself in hand, tapping your ass with his cock again. “Maker,” you breathed out, your eyes widening. “I knew you’d be big.”
Beneath the helmet, Din turned crimson.
He planted his other hand between your shoulders, tipping you forward. You went willingly, eyes rolling back as he pushed his hips against your ass. He could see how wet you were as you bent, slick still dripping down your thighs.
There was nothing stopping him from dropping to his knees right then and there, lifting the helmet just enough to drag his tongue through your cunt. The thought alone made his cock pulse.
But then your hand reached back, twisting in the fabric covering his hip, and he couldn’t wait any longer. He bent his knees slightly, notching himself at your entrance, and pushed inside.
The noise you let out was nearly enough to make him cum right then and there. He knew he wasn’t gonna last, and judging by the sounds you continued to make and the way you were bearing down on him, hands clenched into fists on the tabletop, he didn’t think you were either. He set a fast pace, the space filling with the slick sound of him driving in and out of you, your moans echoing each move. Din’s gaze dropped, trained on the sight of his cock disappearing to you. Your hand flapped at his hip, scrabbling for purchase, and he wrapped his fingers around your forearm, groaning when you did the same.
He was right; you didn’t last long, and neither did he. Your entire body clenched as you came, one hand slamming against the table, nails digging deep into his wrist. It spurred his own orgasm, that coil at the base of his spine snapping, and he pulled out, cumming hard across the curve of your ass.
Silence settled over the both of you as you caught your breath. Din couldn’t help himself, rubbing his bare fingers over the expanse of your back, tracing over your spine. You arched a bit into his touch, making a satisfied noise before you lifted yourself off the table. You turned to him, leaned up to press a hot kiss to his bare throat. It made him shiver.
“Think we could do that again?” you murmured, lifting a finger and dragging it along the edge of his helmet. “Maybe you take all the metal off.”
Din cleared his throat, trying to ignore the way his cock twitched, already wanting a second round. “Helmet stays on.”
You stared at him a long moment, smile on your lips. “Helmet stays on.”
+
He kept close to you after that night. He rarely took bounties that took him to further reaches of the galaxy, loathe to admit that he was always within a few parsecs of your hangar. He brought you a long-distance commlink so he could tell you when he was coming back, so you could contact him if you ever needed him. He didn’t worry about you, per se; you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, and he knew for a fact you knew how to shoot the blaster you kept holstered on your thigh when he wasn’t around.
But then the comm went quiet. He called, you didn’t answer. A lead weight formed in his stomach, and he pushed the Crest’s engines are fast as they’d go. Carefully, though — he wouldn’t dare ruin any of your handiwork.
When he landed in the hangar, the lights were all off. It didn’t help his worry, and it only grew worse as he sprinted off the Crest, heading straight for the shop door.
It was locked, but the lock was no match for his vibroblade and a bit of brute force. Inside, the space was empty. no trace of you left inside. There was no sign of a struggle, no blood smeared on the floor or the wall, but it didn’t ease his mind any. What if someone had come for you, spirited you away in the dead of night to some backwater planet? Dank farrik, what if someone had put out a bounty on you? His mind reeled, raced, chewed him up and spit him out.
He never meant to get so attached to you.
Din switched the settings on his visor, finally determining that all the footprints he could make out on the floor were your own. Then he saw it, sitting on the edge of one of the shelves in the kitchen. The commlink, perched precariously, just enough out of sight that no one else would think twice, but not Din.
He thumbed through the screen, saw the icon flashing with a recorded message. Your face lit up the screen instantly, and he stifled the way his stomach clenched. You looked…scared. Not hurt, not injured, but scared.
“Someone sold me out,” you said, your voice distorted and warped. “I can’t give you details. I can’t really tell you anything. Just know I’m going somewhere safe, and I’ll miss you, Mandalorian. Take care of yourself.”
Your eye were shiny as you reached out to cut the recording, and Din’s heart sank into his toes.
He put the commlink in his pocket, and returned to his ship.
He’d watched the message so many times the words were engraved into his brain. The change in your voice, the way you’d blinked harder the more you spoke. The way you paused in the middle, glanced over your shoulder with a shock of fear in your eyes.
And now here you are, standing in front of him, a pile of metal spilling out of a crate tucked beneath your arm, that same streak of fear in those big eyes. Eyes that have haunted him all these years. You nearly drop the crate as you crouch, your gaze zeroing in on the wound on his leg. “Maker, Mando, what the hell did you do?”
“Long story,” he groans out, wincing as you adjust his leg slightly, leaning to the side so you can get a better look. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” you reply, getting back to your feet, retrieving your crate of parts. “C’mon, let me clean you up. You look like hell.”
Din goes willingly, not sure what else to do, his mind racing from the combination of the Covert and you appearing out of nowhere. He lets you pull him slowly to his feet, tuck yourself under his arm. “Sweets,” he starts to protest, but you drag his arm around your shoulders.
“Shush,” you whisper, glancing around as you start to lead him in the opposite direction he’d been going. “Lean your weight on me.” He does as you say, nearly crumbling with relief. “There you go.”
The ache only worsens as you go, Din resisting the urge to lean his head against yours. When you finally turn him towards the door, he thinks he may topple over completely, but you’re quicker, producing a remote from your pocket. The door slides open, revealing the inside of a hangar, and you all but carry him through, discarding the crate of parts the moment you’re through, hitting the button again once you’re inside. The door slides shut, and Din lifts his head enough to look around. It looks nearly identical to your old hangar.
Then he hears a curious little beep, and looks down to see a tiny droid scurrying towards you. A BD-1 unit; he recognizes it from Peli’s, though yours is a little more rusty around the edges, the cleaner bits of metal painted grey and yellow. “Not now, Shrimp,” you grit, waving at the droid. It beeps loudly back at you, like an arguing child, and Din stifles his laugh.
“I thought you didn’t use droids,” he mumbles.
“He came with the hangar,” you reply, moving him across the hangar. Shrimp follows a few more steps before darting off, disappearing into a pile of crates. “Couldn’t bring myself to scrap him. Besides, not like he’s much help; tiny thing can’t even lift a socket wrench.”
He laughs out loud this time, and when you pull him into the shop, he laughs again, despite himself.
There’s a shelf of sweets above the workbench.
There’s no curtain between the shop and the apartment, instead another sliding door, another remote. Din lets out a low hum when he sees the apartment beyond. More than one room, furnished with actual furniture. It’s…nice. It’s really nice.
You deposit him on the couch, propping his leg up on the table in front of it. “Wait here,” you mumble, pointing a finger at him before disappearing into another room. 
He doesn’t move, but hooks his fingers into the edge of his helmet and yanks it off, depositing it on the couch beside him. He sucks down a breath of unfiltered air.
You gasp as you walk back into the room, nearly dropping the silver case in your hand. “Mando, you—”
“Din,” he says instantly, reaching down, tugging his gloves off, tossing them onto the helmet. “My name is Din Djarin.”
“Din,” you repeat, slowly, like you’re tasting his name on your tongue. The corner of your mouth quirks. “Din…Djarin.”
He just nods. You approach him carefully, like you’re walking towards an injured animal instead of a man, the silver case clutched against your chest.
“Your helmet,” you start, gesturing vaguely. A memory sparks. He told you before — not in so many words — about his Creed, his upbringing. You’d asked, and he’d answered. It wasn’t information he gave willingly. The second time he had you, when you were sprawled out completely naked on that old futon, writhing and moaning beneath him, when he’d shed almost all his beskar, felt the warmth of your body pressed up against all of him. Afterward, when you’d both been sated for the time being, you’d peered up at him from your place on his chest. “Do you ever take it off?” you asked, your voice laced with sleep.
And he’d answered.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says now, eyes darting towards the curve of silver. “I’m not a Mandalorian anymore.”
“What?” you ask, your brow furrowing. He wants to reach out, let his thumb ride the space between your eyebrows, feel it smooth over as he kisses the spot. “What does that mean?”
“It means…” He trails off. Loaded question. What does it mean? Truly? “My name is Din Djarin.”
There’s still confusion etched into your features, but you don’t question him further. Your brow doesn’t loosen, and you perch on the table.
“What’s in the case?” he asks, jutting his chin towards the silver case still in your hands.
You look at him for a long moment, eyes sweeping over his face, over his features. Like you’re committing him to memory. He’s doing the same, almost scrutinizing your face, trying to remember what it looks like without the filter of his visor, what you truly look like, with no barriers in between.
He could taste you easily now.
The thought catches him off guard, the throb between his legs a welcome change to the pulsing of the wound on his thigh. The bacta the Covert had given him has worn off almost completely, and the pain is climbing. 
“B-bacta shot,” you stutter out, shaking your head slightly as you flipped open the case. Your eyes moved to the wound on his leg, peering at the plates of beskar, the flight-suit, the discarded helmet on the couch. “That needs to be cleaned.”
Din just nods.
“Think you can walk to the bedroom?” you ask, shoving the silver case into the chest pocket of your jumpsuit. He recognizes it — the tear in the knee, the patch on your thigh. You fixed the zipper. “It’ll be easier.”
It’s slow-going, getting him back to his feet, shuffling carefully to the bedroom. You ask him if he wants to bring the helmet; he just shakes his head.
What does that mean?
Your bed is unmade, but Din barely notices. The scent of you is amplified in here, and he’s sucking down breaths like he’s been deprived of oxygen. You help him lower to the edge of the bed, and he starts on the armour. You sink to your knees in front of him, setting the bacta shot on the mattress beside him. He removes a pauldron with shaking fingers, and you’re right there to take it from him, your movements sure, setting the metal carefully onto the floor, waiting for the next piece.
“You disappeared,” he says, after more pieces of beskar have been removed, when you’ve moved onto his boots, setting them both carefully at your side.
Your brow had just smoothed out, and it pinches again. “I had to. I left you a message.”
Din pulls the zipper on his flight-suit, reaches into the pocket sewn into the lining, and produces the commlink. “I know.”
Your lips part as you look at the piece of metal, dwarfed by his hand. “You found it.”
“I did.”
Bottom lip caught between your teeth, you look back up at him through your lashes. “It wasn’t safe.”
“You’re safe now,” he says, and you reach for the bacta shot. “Tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” you reply, your voice bordering on stern. “Somebody sold me out.”
“I knew that much,” Din mumbles, and you shoot him a glare.
You sigh. “Let’s just say, there were some parts in the hangar that shouldn’t have been there, someone wasn’t happy with some work I did, and then next thing I knew, there were Imps on my tail. So I disappeared.”
“You could have told me where you were going.”
You shake your head. “They were listening. Tracking every message I sent out. I couldn’t let you get roped into it too.”
“You could have gone to the Guild,” he says. He’s too distracted to notice you pull the syringe out of the case. He doesn’t see the needle until you’re pushing it into his muscle above the wound. He grits his teeth audibly, hands curling hard around the edge of the mattress. “Dank farrik.”
“Sorry.”
“I would have come for you,” he says, breath hitching in his throat as you push the plunger down. It feels like his body has been flooded with ice water, his teeth chattering for a moment before the cold turns to a woozy sort of warmth that spreads through his chest like Corellian fire whiskey. He blinks hard, slow, one eye than the other.
“Can you stand?” He nods. Or thinks he does. “The bacta will help, but I need to put a bandage on that wound, at least.” More nodding. He’s vaguely aware of you draping his arms around your neck, your arms sliding around his waist to haul him up. He plants his feet beneath him, forces his weight over his ankles. His movements are slow, languid, like he’s moving through water. You manoeuvre one arm out of his flight-suit, pushing the fabric down his shoulders, until it settles around his hips. The metallic sound of the zipper seems to echo through his brain, and he knows you’re touching his waist, moving the fabric slowly over his injured thigh. But it doesn’t hurt.
All he can feel is you.
You sit him down again, work on pulling the suit off completely. Your hands are warm, soft, gentle against his bare legs, and he nearly buries his nose in the crown of your head when you bend down. Once the flight-suit has been removed, leaving him in his boxers and undershirt, you disappear again, and Din’s not sure if it’s thirty seconds or thirty minutes.
Something cold presses against his thigh, and he flinches. “Does it hurt?” you ask instantly, and your voice is clear, then muffled, then clear again. “It shouldn’t.”
“Nuh-uh,” he slurs out. He hears you laugh, and the sound is like tinkling bells. He wants to hear it again. “Sweets.”
“Yes, Din?” Clear, muffled. His name is a song on your lips.
“You’re beautiful.”
“So are you.”
“Mesh’la,” he mumbles, and then his eyes fall shut, his body slumps back, and he thinks you laugh again. He’s not quite sure; sleep is too busy yanking him under.
+
Din wakes to the sound of running water.
He’s disoriented, confused, not sure where he is until he pushes up on his elbows, looks around, drinks in the sight of your bedroom. The memory floods back; the Covert, then the hangar, taking the helmet off, the bacta shot that knocked him out.
But more importantly: you.
He rubs the sleep from his eyes. How long was he out? He can’t be sure; there’s a window on the far side of the room, but time on Glavis is different, artificial nighttime and starlight instead of sun. His armour has been moved from the floor, neatly piled on a dresser against the wall, his boots on the floor underneath. His flight-suit is spread out on a worktable in the middle of the room, and he can see from his spot that you’ve tried to mend it, patching the spot the Darksaber had cut open with a square of fabric. It’s looks to be the same kind of material, but the colour is darker. Beneath the sheets, his leg is wrapped in cotton bandages, and there’s no sign of blood seeping to the surface.
His head turns in the direction of the noise of the water, and he pauses, waits for some kind of pain to prick through his body, but it never comes. He feels…good. Well-rested. His eyes follow the sound, and then he sees it.
The door to your bathroom is wide open, and from his spot on your bed, he can see directly into the shower. You’re inside, steam pouring over the top of the glass wall, and Din’s whole body jerks. He never forgot what you looked like naked, and it’s been a long time, but somehow it still feels like the first time. He can feel the blood rushing south, and his hands clench in the bedsheets.
He just stares, watching the water move over you, cascading down your spine, rolling in rivulets over your curves, following the lines of your body. He wants to follow them too, wants to read you like a map only he knows the key to.
Dank farrik, he’s missed you. He hadn’t realized how much.
The water shuts off, and he sees you reach for a towel, wiping your face first. He sinks back down on the bed, wondering if he should feign sleep, feeling like a kid caught doing something he’s not supposed to. But before he can— “You’re awake,” he hears you call, and looks back just as you wrap the towel around your middle. “I thought you’d be out for the night.”
Din coughs, shifting the blankets, trying to hide the tent that’s formed in his boxers. “You don’t close the door?” He doesn’t know what else to say.
You laugh. “I live alone,” you say, stepping out of the bathroom, walking towards the dresser his armour sits upon. “Force of habit.”
He clears his throat. Loudly. Pauses. “…it’s a nice view.”
Your tongue peeks between your lips as you walk over to him, still in just the towel. Your hair is still dripping, water droplets dotting your shoulders. You sink slowly onto the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”
“G-good,” he spits out, adjusting himself, making more room for you. “Really good.”
The corner of your mouth quirks. “I’m glad. You scared me, Man—” You catch yourself. “Din.”
A drop of water splashes down from your hair, starts a path down your upper arm, and Din reaches out, catching it on his finger. You watch his hand, lips softly parted, and he continues the path, drawing his hand up and down your skin, the backs of his knuckles against your bicep.
“I wondered where you were, all these years,” you whisper. There’s longing in your voice, he notices; the same feeling sits like a weight on his chest. “I never stopped wondering.”
“I’ll tell you sometime,” he whispers back. There’s something forming in the air between you, thick like the steam that still foams from the open bathroom. Din can almost taste it, and the thought he’d had in your living room resurfaces, making him twitch beneath the sheets. He could taste you so easily now. “It’s a long story.”
The corner of your mouth quirks. “I got nothing but time.”
So does he, he realizes. He’s without a ship, without his son, without anything anchoring him to one planet or another, to any sort of path. He’d been wandering already, trying to find the Covert, and now he is unmoored once more, yet somehow managed to find his way back to your hangar.
To your bed.
His hand stops chasing water droplets, and he sees your teeth sink into your lower lip. He lowers his palm until it rests on your bare thigh, and he can feel how your skin is still hot from the shower. “I never kissed you,” he rasps. “Before.”
Your head shakes slowly, and you turn towards him more fully. The towel is loose around your chest, your hand holding it in place, and he reaches for it, slowly uncurling your fingers from the fabric, until your grip falls slack, and the towel goes with it. “You should fix that,” you murmur.
“I’m out of practice.”
Your lips twitch again. “How bad?”
“Few decades,” he says softly. “Since before I swore the Creed.”
“You were a child.”
“It was a childish kiss.” He pauses, moves his hand again, brushes dripping locks of hair from your face. “I don’t want to kiss you like that.”
“Just…” Din leans in slightly, tilts his head to the side. “Do what feels natural.” You mirror his movement, and his eyes are glued to your mouth, to the way your lips stay parted even when you’re done speaking, the way your collar lifts with shuddered breaths. He sees your hands move the towel out of the corner of his eye, pulling the fabric away from your body completely until you’re bared to him, head to toe.
You’re just as beautiful as he remembers. If not more.
The tip of his nose drags along the slope of yours, and his hand slides from your thigh to your hip. “I need you closer, Sweets,” he murmurs, and you nod against him, your foreheads tapping together. There’s a bit of shuffling, the blankets moved back, his tented boxers exposed but barely acknowledged as you climb into his lap. He revels in the way you look above him, your knees pressed either side of his hips. You’re hesitant to lower your weight onto his leg, and he guides you slow, giving you a quiet it’s okay as you settle onto him.
He doesn’t feel any pain; he just feels you.
Once you’re comfortable, your hands clutching at his shoulders, he adjusts his grip on you, palms skimming up your spine, mapping out your ribs and the curve of your ass. You make a quiet noise when he squeezes one cheek, the movement propelling you forward, making your hips roll into his, your core pushed against his hard cock. It makes him hiss with pleasure, and he slides one hand up to your hair, knotting his fingers in it and dragging your mouth down to his.
It’s not artful; he’s sure it doesn’t look pretty from the outside. There’s a lot of teeth and tongue, the fumble of hands as he tries to get you even closer. He’s sure you’ve been kissed better than this, and it makes his cheeks heat, makes him pull away, tucking his chin towards his chest. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Hey,” you say softly, your hands moving to cup his cheeks, tilting his face back up towards you. “It’s okay. Just…follow my lead?” You say it like a question, your thumbs swiping over his face, through the smatter of facial hair along his jaw. “I got you.”
Din nods, lets his lips part as you cock your head to the side, leaning in slow. You kiss his top lip and then his bottom one, giving him just enough teeth that he wants more, wants it harder. He grips your hips as you move, but your kiss stays tender, slow, your tongue a wet heat against his own. He’d dreamed of this, of kissing you, and this one — albeit the second attempt — is everything he ever imagined.
Finally, your mouth grows more insistent. He’s hard as steel between his legs, and he can feel how hot you are, your wetness spreading across his boxers with every roll of your hips. Your mouth is sweet, almost sugary, and he finds himself chuckling against your lips, still trying to get you closer. Your stomach presses to his as you wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him harder, your tongue licking into his mouth.
“Sweets,” he grinds out when you start pulling at his undershirt, insistent to get it over his head. He lets you, and when you lower your head again, your mouth moves to his throat instead, and it makes him moan. “Mesh’la, wait, please, I need—”
You pull back instantly, your eyes bright with worry. “What is it? Are you okay?”
“I want…” His eyes drop, tracing a path down your body, his throat growing dry when they land on the apex of your thighs, the glistening wetness he knows he’s caused. He lets one hand follow the path his eyes made, rubs his thumb over your clit. Your whole body shivers. “I want to taste you.”
Your eyes go big, pupils blown with lust, and Din uses your momentary shock to his advantage. He’s stronger than you, perks of the bounty hunting lifestyle, and he flips you easily with one arm around your waist, his other hand hitching your thigh over his hip. You squeak as your head hits the pillows, clinging to him until you’re laid out beneath him.
It’s his turn to kiss his way down your throat, and he does, laving his tongue against your pulse as he makes his way down your body. He pauses at your chest, moves to the side to close his lips around your nipple. It makes your back arch, a high-pitched noise falling from your mouth, and he grins against you, giving you just the edge of his teeth before he’s wandering across your chest to give the other the same attention.
You’re a writhing mess by the time he’s settled between your thighs. He can’t keep his eyes still, raking over every inch of you, trying to remember every part. He can see the muscles in your legs jump as he traces his fingers over them, the more sensitive parts of your skin making you keen.
With your legs spread, he can see everything, and his mouth waters at the sight of your wet cunt, walls fluttering around nothing as he teases you with his fingers, collecting your wetness on the tips before drawing them to his mouth.
He moans at the taste. Of course, you’re sweet. Deliciously so.
“Din,” you groan out, propping yourself up on your elbows. He can feel you watching, and his gaze flicks up to yours as he drops his jaw, lowers his mouth to you. Your eyes roll back for a moment, one hand moving to knot in his hair, and Din moans into you. His tongue explodes with the taste of you, sending shocks down his spine, making his hips rolls into the mattress, seeking relief.
Just do what feels natural, your words echo in his head. So he does. He licks into you, wide stripes with the flat of his tongue, smaller kitten licks to your clit. He can’t get enough of your taste, hooking his hands around your thighs, pulling himself deeper into you. And you guide him some, your hand in his hair an anchor of sorts, tugging slightly to get him right where you need him, a gasped oh fuck, right there! reaching his ears.
It’s not before long that you’re smacking at his shoulder, muffled moans on your lips with your teeth sunk into your lower one. He detaches from you, gets one more good look and lick in before he’s following your grip, kissing every inch of you he can reach as he makes his way back up your body.
“I need you inside me,” you slur, your hands reaching down, pushing at his boxers. His cock springs up against his stomach and he groans, the sound growing louder when you wrap your fingers around him. “Please, Din, I want to cum on your cock.”
It’s a miracle he doesn’t cum right then and there, hearing your words turn filthy. And filthier still as he hauls himself over you, plants one elbow beside your head, looks between you, reaches down to line himself up and—
Freezes.
He can feel your eyes on his face, features pinched with anticipation. Your hands have found homes along his ribs, fingers tapping out rhythmless patterns. Hips lifting, you must see something in his expression, because you move a hand to his chin, lifting his eyes to yours again. “Din,” you say, and a shiver shoots down his spine again at the way his name sounds on your lips. “It’s okay. We can stop, if you need to.”
“No!” he nearly shouts, and feels himself flush, lowering himself slightly, careful not to drop all his weight on you. “No, that’s not what I…I don’t…”
“Don’t what?” you murmur. Your voice is quiet, understanding. You give a soft laugh. “I know you’re not a virgin, but if you don’t want to, it’s okay, I won’t say any—”
“It’s not that,” he cuts you off, petting his hand over your still-damp hair. “I want to. I want you. It’s just that…” He chews at his lip. “No one’s ever seen my face, while we…when I…”
Realization slides through your features. “Oh.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t have to look,” you say quickly, skimming your knuckles along his cheek. “I can turn over, if you like, if that’s easier than—”
“No,” he says, not a shout this time, but firmer. “I want you to see, Sweets.” He drops his chin, emboldened by your softness, your understanding. He kisses you soundly. “I want to kiss you while you cum.” His words pull a silky noise from your throat.
He breaks the kiss as he takes himself in hand, pushes into your dripping cunt. You’re hot, clenching down on him instantly, arms draped around his neck as he lowers himself further, latches his lips to yours. He hitches one of your legs high on his hip, drives into you deep. He had you close on his tongue already, and he rolls his hips hard, catching something deep inside that makes your entire body seize.
“Yes, Din, please, oh gods, please, please, please,” you’re babbling against his lips, one hand pressed flat between his shoulders, the other knotted in the back of his hair. “Yes!”
Just as he said, he kisses you while you cum. He feels it pulse through your body, your limbs taut and then lax, still holding him close. Your hips chase his, cunt clenching tight as a vice, and Din’s not far behind you, pleasure lighting a fuse down his spine.
You pull your lips from his just as he starts to spill in you. Your hand moves to grip his chin, and you force his gaze to yours. He gasps and your mouth mirrors his, lips parted in a soft o, turning to a grin as he grinds into you, painting your insides as deep as he can go. It feels like an implosion, his bones rattled in his body, but then set on the softest bed of silk as he collapses into your chest. You hold him close, petting one hand through his hair, breathing deep and slow until his own evens out, matches yours, until your heartbeat syncs with his.
“Mesh’la?” he calls after a moment, cheek still pressed to your sternum.
“Yes, Din?” you reply, your voice scratchy as your nails start to drag along his scalp. His eyes are heavy.
“I missed you.”
He can hear the smile in your voice. “I missed you too.”
+
Din wakes alone in your bed again.
He thinks it’s the next morning — the rest of what he assume to be evening was spent in your bed, both of you naked and wrapped in each other. Again and again and again, he pulled pleasure from your body, let you pull it from his, found your bliss together. By the time you were both too tired to move, sprawled on the mattress, your head on his shoulder, you’d whispered, “You’re a good kisser, Din Djarin.” And then you were asleep, Din not too far behind.
He dresses quickly, boxers pulled back on, undershirt in his hand as he pads out of the room. He finds you standing in the kitchen, a steaming cup of caf in your hands. The droid — Shrimp, he dimly recalls — is perched on the table, beeping out a message to you. You’re nodding along, blowing the steam off the top of your caf, and your eyes flick to him as he steps into the kitchen.
“You know Peli Motto?”
Din’s brow crinkles with confusion. “You know Peli?”
You scoff. “That woman taught me everything I know.”
“You’re joking.”
“Swear on my hangar.”
Din just laughs, walking around the table. He slides an arm around your waist once he’s close enough, leans into kiss the side of your head. You lean into him. “Why are we talking about Peli?”
“She sent me a message,” you say, offering him your caf. He takes a sip, only feeling more confused. “Asking if I had any spare ships laying around my hangar. A replacement for her Mandalorian friend.”
Din balks. He hasn’t told you about the Crest. “Sweets…”
You step away from him, pressing a hand to his chest as your eyes go wide with realization. “Din Djarin, what did you do to that ship?”
“I didn’t—”
“Din.”
“It was Imps,” he says, trying to reach for your hip. “It wasn’t—”
“Where is the Razor Crest?”
He sighs heavily, and reaches out to take the cup of caf from you again. “Now it’s nothing but a scorch mark on the planet Tython. It was the Imps. They took my son.” The words are out before he can stop them.
Your eyes go so wide he’s worried they might pop out of your skull. “Your son?”
“It’s a long story.”
You pluck the caf out of his hands, walk around the table, pull out a chair and sink into it. “I got nothing but time.”
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chenfleur · 3 months
Text
where the heart leads, the eyes follow
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summary. suddenly, jungwon is everywhere you look and part of every thought you think.
pairing. jungwon x y/n
genre. fluff, classmates to lovers, y/n inner turmoil 👍
word count. 0.9k
released. 03.05.2024
author's note. feedback is appreciated! i need to know how long it takes u guys to write drabbles i feel like i'm doing something wrong 😭😭😭 like why do they take me FOREVER
masterlist
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For some godforsaken reason, Yang Jungwon has always been there.
There. Right in your field of vision. Running the school festival's concession stand when you were craving funnel cake. Next to Nishimura Riki on the soccer field when your eyes dart to him, yet also next to Sim Jaeyun when they land on him next. Conveniently seated two columns to your left in your economics class, so when you turn to speak to your friends, you're forced to see a head of midnight hair.
It's irritating. A nuisance.
You hate how Jungwon is somehow always there, because when he is, he's the only one in the room you ever see.
His presence is permanent and permeating; it causes unfilled lesson notes and empty documents to stare up at you every class, begging for your attention while you beg for your attention to stray for once. To not leave a question set half-finished because he just carded a hand through his hair—to not feel your chest weakly twinge whenever he laughs at something his pretty desk mate said.
At some point, you begin to see Jungwon even on the days he isn't there. Even without a stimulus, you can see the lines of his figure that carve out the definition of his shoulders and the sharp inner corners of his cat-like eyes. Your brain is more familiar with the sight and thought of Jungwon than not, including him in an infinite number of mental paintings and films, as if he was as customary in your life as the changing seasons.
Life was better before this bullshit, you think in exasperation.
You hate how the subject at the forefront of your thoughts was just some boy—how he manages to seemingly go about his life so effortlessly while confusion, turmoil, fear settles in your gut.
What's going on? Is this some twisted joke? Why is he always there—
"Y/N?"
His voice comes from behind your open locker door.
You've never heard his voice this close before.
Your name sounds like honey dripping off his tongue, and yet you don't know what to think of it. The rapid beating in your chest and the uncomfortable churn of your stomach are giving you mixed signals.
Cautiously, you close the locker shut. Your voice comes out in a weak exhale.
"Jungwon."
A serene smile appears on his lips. "I wanted to say congratulations. If anyone deserved to speak at the district gala, it's you."
You blink slowly. "District gala?"
"Yeah! You got it, didn't you?"
That doesn't make any logical sense.
Sure, you'd wanted to represent your school and speak in front of the district's administration—but that opportunity has only ever rightfully belonged to one person, and he's standing right in front of you.
"I-I thought you were speaking at the gala."
Jungwon tilts his head at you in a way that makes you feel like your knees could give out. "Pretty sure the name the principal just said over the PA system sounded a lot like yours and nothing like mine," he teases, leaning against the locker next to yours.
Silence falls over the two of you while your gaze is trained on a floor tile, the process of digesting the fact that you'd be giving a speech at the district gala significantly slowed down by Jungwon's looming presence. He looks down at you, a fond speckle in his eye, before he speaks again.
"You can say no, but I have a favour to ask," he says softly. "I have a few parts of my original speech that I really want to make heard. I was wondering if you'd be willing to include them on my behalf?"
He's clutching a small piece of folded paper in between his slender fingers, holding it out for you to take.
You're sure you take way too long to react, shakily reaching out to take the paper from him. Your skin is set aflame when your fingers brush against his.
Trying to pinpoint the emotion Yang Jungwon evokes in you has led you to feel a billion different ones in the process, each one more conflicting than the last—
—and yet, in this moment, you let down your defences.
Letting yourself fall into the sea of stars behind his irises.
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Four months later, you're walking up to the stage's wooden podium, over the top of which you're greeted by an auditorium of three hundred different faces.
There's amazement, and then there's anxiety. It manifests in the dry gulp you take and the tightened grip of your hands on the sides of the podium. Your eyes frantically dart around for something to focus on, searching, searching—
Jungwon.
He's there, leaning against a far pillar with one hand in the pocket of his dress pants, and the other holding a glass of sparkling juice. There's a delicate, sterling silver charm bracelet wrapped around his wrist, a singular charm of your initial attached to it.
Your eyes flicker down to the near identical one on your own wrist, the charm with his initial glimmering under the chandelier lights.
With a clear of your throat, you redirect your gaze to the audience. Instinctively, it falls again on the boy against the far pillar.
The one with his phone camera pointed at the stage and the prettiest smile on his face.
Jungwon always seems to be there, waiting for your eyes to land on him.
Or maybe, in a room filled with people, he's the only one you've ever looked for.
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tacticaldiary · 6 months
Text
Frightened Of The Fall
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
"Simon." He rasps, grip tightening around her arms. "Call me Simon."
Her smile widens and it makes something in him break with a need to let her light smooth over his jagged, broken pieces.
"I love you, Simon."
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Baby birds are born with an innate fear of falling. Frightening little things, skittering over to the edges of their nests and peering down, curious but never brave enough to take a leap. It's their mothers that nudge them along, shove them over the edge knowing that they'll come out unscathed.
Simon remembers the soft look on his mother's face when she used to read to him at night, locking the door and draping his bedsheets over their heads like a little makeshift tent.
It's one of the clearer memories in his head, but nothing in his life comes completely untainted.
His father always got tired of yelling and banging on his door. He'd find the master key somewhere and click the lock back open, ending her attempts to distract him on the worst days.
His father had shoved him off the edge too soon, not accustomed to a mother's intuition and only driven by the cruel need to see him flail and fall as he hit the ground hard.
                               · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·  
"Does pasta sound okay?"
Ghost hums into his cup of coffee, skimming over a document he'd put off till the last minute to review. Their kitchen table is littered with files and folders belonging to them both. "Thought you were going out tonight.?"
Working in the same division of the military means their privy to the same confidential information, luckily.
"I was," She nods, setting down the packet of pasta. "But I cancelled. Thought some time alone with you would be better..."
He nods, and the knot of unease that's been tightening in her chest for the past week makes an appearance again. He doesn't say anything, he hasn't been saying much at all these days, and it's making her more than uneasy.
Ghost wasn't an overly silent man, especially not with her, so this behaviour has been out of character enough to raise some flags. A little frustrated at his lack of interest, she walks across the kitchen to join him at the table.
"Is something wrong?"
Sometimes, Ghost sees the gentle nature of his mother in her.
When she smiles at him like he's hung the moon and the stars for doing her a simple favour. The quiet nights together spent soaking in company that he hasn't had the chance to experience in years...
"Nothing's wrong."
"You're angry at me."
He glances up at her, raising an eyebrow. "You'd know if I was mad at you, love."
"Then what is it?" She pushes, "You've been so...so disinterested lately." She really tries to word it eloquently in a way that's not too intense. "You don't join me for any activity apart from work, you barely say a word to me if I don't initiate a conversation!"
She's certainly got his attention now.
"You didn't even ask where I was going when I told you I had plans tonight, it's like...it's like you don't care anymore." She finishes, pushing out the last part of her sentence in a voice wrapped with hurt. "If you don't...don't want me, I'd rather you just say it. I'll understand, but it's not fair to keep me at arm's length when-"
"Stop." He cuts her off loudly. "You think I don't want you anymore?" The papers lay on the table, completely forgotten as he pushes himself to stand up next to her. There's an urgency in his movements that she hasn't seen before.
"You sure make it seem that way."
"I don't." His gaze flickers across her face and his stomach sinks when he sees nothing but raw honesty and hurt. "Of course I want you-"
"Then why don't you talk to me?"
That shuts him up.
"I was thinking." He clenches and unclenches his jaw. "About everything. About...us." When he sees devastation flash across her face, he's quick to correct her misunderstanding. "Fucking hell, not like that." He assures her, taking her arms in his hands and stepping closer. "Never like that, darling. Shouldn't have made you doubt anything, didn't mean to." Ghost presses her face to the crook of his neck, loosening a sigh of relief when she doesn't push him away and nestles there instead.
"Then what is it?" She draws in a shaky breath. "If it's not me, why are you pulling away?"
It's a beat before he answers.
"I've always wanted a family." He squeezes her arms briefly. "Never thought I'd have anyone else to call that." His gaze is fixed firmly on the wall behind them, even when she tilts her head up to peer at him.
She doesn't push him, doesn't beg for details. Patient as always, and the knowledge that she would not force him to tell her anything he couldn't is the very thing that drives him to bear his thoughts to her.
Ghost tells her about coming home to a house of cold bodies. He doesn't spare any details, she's not frail or fragile. Hell, she's drawn just as much blood, just as viciously as he had, so he lays it all out as it happened. He tells her about his mother, about the good in his life ripped away by a fate that he dragged across their doormat.
"You're afraid it'll happen again." She whispers when he finishes.
"I'm...cautious."
"It's okay to be afraid." She smooths a hand over his hair much more gently than a man like him deserves. "You're human, Ghost. You're alive, they would be glad that you made it out alive."
"Shit luck I brought them, though." A hoarse voice he lets mingle with the loathing he's carried ever since he could remember.
"It won't happen again." His gaze flickers down to her at the declaration, "It's in the past, baby. Unless you let me go, I'm not going anyway."
"I don't." He tightens his grip instinctively. The very idea of being the reason he's lost the best thing that's ever happened to him is revolting. He intends to keep her for as long as she'll have him.
"Good." She cracks a small smile. Her fingers ghost over the scars on his cheek, marred with years of memories. "Neither of us are good people." She whispers. "Not with the things we've done, the things we've seen. But we're good for each other. You're so good to me and nothing in your past is going to take that away. Not even you."
Earnest and honest and determined, there's no protest Ghost can make that would strike her words untrue. He takes in an unsteady breath instead, letting himself sink into her promises.
"Let me in." She whispers, soft and pleading. "Build a life with me. Let me take care of you, Ghost."
He loosens a shuddering sigh out of his chest, a feeling so viscerally overwhelming washing him inside and out. It grows and expands, sheds lights on the corners of him untouched by love and safety.
Always shrouded in caution and fear, the sudden light is bound to sting the eyes of someone who's kept in the dark. The warmth is enough to burn someone kept in the cold.
She searches his eyes for something, for anything. A hint of agreement, a crack in the iron walls she can take as a sign to start chipping at.
"I love you."
And he believes it.
"Simon." He rasps, grip tightening around her arms. "Call me Simon."
Her smile widens and it makes something in him break with a need to let her light smooth over his jagged, broken pieces.
"I love you, Simon."
And she can see the light shining through.
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(28/11/2023)
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my313 · 15 days
Text
spring cleaning ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀ choi beomgyu
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now playing 𝄞₊⊹ sukidakara - beomgyu (og: yuika)
⋆ pairing: high school sweetheart!beomgyu x gn!reader
⋆ summary: in an attempt to declutter your home for the spring, you find an old camcorder filled with beautiful memories of your first love.
⋆ warnings: fluff, mentioned past heeseung (enhypen) x reader, jealous beomgyu, established relationship, italics are flashbacks, beomgyu is a musician? so technically kind of an au, insinuated that beomgyu and reader were high schoolers in the 2000s
⋆ word count: 2k
a/n: LISTEN TO HIS COVER NEOOOWWW!!! god i love him so bad...... this is also not proofread sry i wrote this out of pure delusion LOL. stuff might sound bad omg i just wanted to write fluff 😭 banner by @/saradika <3
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it's nearly midnight when you decided to rummage through your drawers, cabinets, and now, your closet. while dipping your head into the various sets of clothes, you reach for a heart-shaped box with a matching pink ribbon sitting on the lid.
inside, you find an assortment of trinkets from your days in high school. lilac envelopes with silly faces drawn on the seal, addressed to you; postcards from your distant relatives; your university acceptance letter; even a nasty tube of your favourite (expired) strawberry lip balm.
what really distracts you from your spring cleaning antics is the silver camcorder that sits in the very middle of the box.
the clunky piece of technology is covered in dust and mismatched stickers, obvious once you bring it out of the black hole that is your closet and into the warm light of your bedroom.
you don't expect it to start up with the way it's been abandoned for years, but the familiar jingle fills the silence and you're met with a pixelated view of your carpeting. you habitually click on the gallery, immediately flustered with the thumbnail that greets you.
a fond smile makes its way to your lips as the video plays. it's shit quality, as expected, but even with all the pixels distorting the boy's face, you recognise him. it comes easy, with beomgyu's round eyes nervously shifting from the falling cherry blossoms and onto the lens.
you recall this specific spring. the one right before you were set to graduate. you remember how odd beomgyu seemed the entire walk back to his house until he clumsily led the way to the little park a few minutes away from his childhood home. your impromptu shoot now becoming a memory to savour.
beomgyu keeps his distance from you as you take the longer, more scenic route to his house. he had it all planned out. today would be the day he'd tell you that he liked you. the first week of spring, the cherry blossoms falling perfectly; it was as if the universe and the gods of romance were aligning everything to his favour. he even got your favourite strawberry yogurt drink on-hand, poking the straw through the film and handing it to you proudly when you gasp and proclaim your gratefulness to him.
unfortunately, that didn't play out the way he fantasised the night before, sprawled out on his futon with a dopey grin on his face until morning came. even so, he didn't let his sleep deprived self peek through for a minute since you exited the school gates.
that was until you mentioned lee heeseung.
"heeseung asked me to the internet cafe this weekend," you begin, harmlessly conversing about your day like you usually do. you take a sip of your drink, then extend it to beomgyu, offering a taste.
he leans down to catch the straw between his lips, heart fluttering ever-so-slightly at the thought of your lips just being on that flimsy plastic a few moments ago. clearly, that gesture wasn't enough to keep his mind distracted from the mention of lee heeseung.
beomgyu tries to remain calm. internet cafe? surely, a thing friends do. you've tagged along with him and soobin a few times.
"he said it was a date."
which explains your current predicament. it's obvious that beomgyu is upset, lips jutted into a pout and brows furrowed. his hands stay stuck in his pockets as if they'd been glued there, so unlike his usual behaviour. on days like this, beomgyu typically links arms with you, or tugs on the top hook of your backpack to ease the weight off you, or even sling his arms around you with a mischievous grin. right now, you're sure this is the farthest beomgyu has been from you.
the silence drapes over you two like a stuffy blanket. you're thankful for the loud honks and bicycle bells in the background, even appreciating the yelling of the street vendors as your typically boisterous peer is quiet.
a bike chaotically speeds through your side, the rider repeatedly hitting the bell as they make their way to you. beomgyu quickly grabs your arm and trades places with you before the bike catches up, him on the road-side and you by the fences. once the bike passes with a hurried apology, beomgyu lets go of your arm and maintains the former distance.
"...sounds like a shit date, to be honest." the silence shatters. he mutters, huffing out a breath as he walks just an inch closer to you, as if trying to be a barrier between you and the road.
you blink at him, lips flat and eyes unassuming. just relieved he's talking to you. "you think?"
"yeah, why would you wanna be inside when the streets look like this.." he motions towards the cherry blossom trees surrounding you both. "..right now. d'you even like him enough to say yes?"
"i dunno. he's cool, i guess. isn't he your friend?"
"just played a few games together."
his responses are straight to the point. none of his beomgyu bullshit spinning your conversations through circles, which you admittedly did enjoy.
"is something... wrong? did you guys fight? i can beat him up for you if i go." you try to joke, your eyes never leaving beomgyu's face to catch his reaction.
he winces, "uh, no, not really. that- that's not the problem..."
your silence prompts beomgyu to keep talking, but his eyes don't meet yours. instead, he's staring at the pavement, picking up the creases on his shoes he'd never seen before, distracting himself by counting the petals he comes across. none of it calms his heart or clears the lump in his throat though.
he abruptly lifts his head and stares back at you. a pleasant surprise that causes you to blush at how his eyes sparkle so brightly. he sighs defeatedly, not wanting to be upset any longer. with one look at you, beomgyu's stubbornness weakens, a small smile on his lips as he closes the distance between you both.
his shoulder purposely clashes into yours, "it's really pretty at the park near my house right now. wanna see?"
you pause the video upon hearing the doorbell ring. with a knowing grin, you take the camcorder with you to the door. once you pull it open, the comforting sight of your boyfriend floods your vision.
"m'home~" he greets in a sing-song tone, arms spread wide awaiting your welcome home hug that he always craves after hours at the studio.
beomgyu's eyes travel from your sunken but excited eyes to the familiar thing in your hold. he blinks repeatedly, craning his neck up stiffly to look up at you again. comically, he brings an accusatory finger to the front with a nervous chuckle.
"is that...?"
"yup!" you beam enthusiastically, like you had waited for him to step foot into your shared apartment to eat him up.
knowing what was inside the camcorder, beomgyu could say it was similar. his face feels warmer despite the late night breeze still whisking him away from behind. you tug at his outstretched arm and pull him inside, shutting the door.
usually, you'd ask how work was, or pester him to let you listen to a new song he worked on. tonight though, none of that.
beomgyu sits next to you on the sofa, cheek nuzzled against your head. his downward gaze is alert to every button you press on the camcorder, cringing slightly at the memory of his partly successful confession.
beomgyu leans in closer to have a better look at the viewfinder. he chooses to focus on something else entirely even as you're sucked into the pretty pinks of the sakura flowers and the shaky footage of his round head.
the wind was just slightly unforgiving that day, petals swirling around the park. you're a few steps behind beomgyu. he's biting the inside of his cheek, stare stuck to the pavement, desperately wishing you'd speed up and start walking beside him.
impatient as ever, beomgyu decides he'll just slow down for you. he's not very subtle about it though, opting to halt entirely and turn his head in your direction. beomgyu wants to see the surprise in your face; eyes wide and cheeks pink. instead, what greets him is the lens of your camcorder, a hand-me-down from your relatives that you couldn't stop talking about over text just the other week.
beomgyu strides forward and you stay still in your spot, tightly gripping the camcorder. "beomgyu, say hi to the camera!"
your voice echoes with excitement, beomgyu doesn't have to peer beyond the camcorder to know that your lashes are kissing the apples of your cheeks with the way you're smiling widely. he wants to be the one to keep you beaming like this for years and years on end.
you're about to back away as beomgyu gets too close for the camcorder to film him and the view. then, you feel beomgyu's lithe fingers over your own, tugging on the camera, extending your arm by result, and raising it to his eye-level. beomgyu makes sure you're looking at him through the viewfinder. with a lopsided smile and head cocked to the side, beomgyu braces himself for what's to come, "hey, i like you."
your arm falls limp as he releases his grip on you, shocked by his confession. he doesn't let you process it, though, running towards the opposite direction. it takes you a moment to run after him, camera long forgotten. "choi beomgyu..! you!"
"why are you running away from someone you like, huh?!" you huff out, catching your breath.
when you look up, you can't help but point the camera at beomgyu again. with plenty of cherry blossom trees in the background, beomgyu center in the frame, wind trying to pull his necktie away, how could you not? the boy you like, the one that just confessed to you on one spring day, looked too beautiful.
the camcorder manages to pick up your words amidst the scratchy noises of the wind. in a whisper, one can hear your voice, "i like you too, beomgyu."
"wow, i was really handsome since birth, huh?" he poses confidently, his lips and warm breath kissing your hair as he speaks.
you roll your eyes with a smile, and you don't disagree. you never do and it makes beomgyu blush and grin. if he wasn't too comfortable in your warmth, he would be laying down on his stomach with a coquettish smile and his feet kicking up and down.
"yeah, s'why i'm engaged to you, no?" you blow a raspberry at him.
an exaggerated gasp paired with a dramatic drop of his jaw has your stomach hurting from laughing too hard. "i thought you loved me!"
"i do!" you giggle, biting down your lips to stop more fits of laughter spilling out. you squish beomgyu's cheeks together, lips pursed and begging to be kissed. so you do. "you and your pretty face, baby."
your laughs settle down into echoes of contentment, beomgyu's palm rubbing against your belly as if soothing your self-inflicted ache. plus, beomgyu would stick his limbs to your body if he could.
he presses his cheek against your head, "did you know i liked you even before that spring?"
you hum in thought, resting your hand atop the one on your tummy and filling in the gaps between his fingers with your own. you smile even harder upon feeling the cold metal band of your engagement rings. "nah. i thought it was impossible, honestly,"
"didn't even really think you thought of me like that until then, bomu." you admit shyly, playing with your interlocked fingers. beomgyu's lips purse in thought, "i thought i was pretty obvious though,"
"was buying you strawberry milk everyday and carrying your backpack home even if we lived in opposite directions not obvious enough for you, honey?"
"well... it's obvious now!"
"yeah," he beams that sweet, silly, sly beomgyu half-smirk that you've always loved. he releases your hands momentarily to raise his fingers to the light, showing off his ring. "we're so locked in now."
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bitchimasnake-sss · 7 months
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unwinding after a long day ft. luffy!
in which, after a long day, he comes right back to you <3
ft. luffy x fem!reader
set-up: its been a tiring day for him, good thing you're right here to offer your services (wink wink)
warnings: both sfw/nsfw headcanons for this dumbass; nsfw stuff includes penetration, cockwarming, raw!fucking (kids use protection pls 👍)
luffy:
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sfw!!
- after a long, long day of eating, running around the deck with ussop, defeating like five sea kings, enduring 53628 kicks and punches from the crew (how is this man a captain is beyond me sometimes), luffy is bound to be tired - you're laying on your bed post-dinner, absent-mindedly chipping away the nail polish - you feel the mattress next to you dip lowly as he jumps next to you, face-first - "ynn-" he's whining, wrapping his hands around you and intertwining his legs between yours, "ynnnnnn" "hmm?" you hum, still busy picking apart the colour on your nails "i'm so, so soooo tired" a laugh escapes you, "really? is it due to all the running?" and now he's pouting, "are you saying it's my own fault?" - you peck his cheek, then flash him a grin, "how can i ever say that?" - most of the nights, you silence him by giving him a massage - you don't even think you're good at it but holy shit this boy is obsessed with getting a quick massage from you. - and this has led to quite the number of misunderstandings. "yn," he had asked you when the crew were eating dinner together, "can we do that thing at night? i really need it." "WHAT THE FUCK-" nami is punching luffy in his guts, his food is being thrown out of his mouth and onto zoro, "WE ARE EATING." - he meant massage. - you knew it, he knew it. the rest of the crew? they assumed you were fucking (they aren't wrong, per se. they just didn't want to believe that all the sounds of bed creaking wasn't from you both jumping around, rip them) - yeah ussop threw up and sanji fell to his knees and cried for like 57 mins because how did luffy manage to bag you??? - zoro hasn't spoken in two days from the shock of it (and the traumatic experience of having food spit on him) and nami has retired to her room for a whole business week, she is now only conversing by using chopper as her message carrier - chopper is confused (poor bby 😭😭, he assumed it was massage or something and he is the only one who's correct) - anyways, other than getting massages, sometimes he starts rambling on about something or the other till he falls asleep mid-conversation - rest assured because he will continue whenever he wakes up "where was i?" he's shaking you awake "luffy" you groan, "it's like two am, go to sleep" "oh right, so ussop told chopper than reindeers are called reigndeers because they used to be actual kings back in the ancient times and so rein means reign and not rain like most people as-" he falls asleep again mid conversation - tf are you supposed to do with this man?? - peak, sheer dumbassery even when he's tired
nsfw!!
- this man refuses to entertain one-sided favours - your soft hands were kneading away the tension on his biceps a few minutes ago, so obviously he should return the favour back by massaging your back - you refuse many times because as much as you love luffy, this man does not understand his own strength - so you have a very valid fear that he would break your spine as he gives you a massage - "this isn't fair, let me do it too ughh" "how about no" "okay then let me fuck you, you'd like that right?" - didn't even blink twice plz 😭😭 - this dude is dead serious. - he gotta make up to you for being such a sweetheart to him one way or the other - that explains how he was pulling your top off, sucking sweetly on your tits, fingers gently rubbing over your clothed pussy - that also explained how he pulled you onto his lap, slipping in his dick inside you, stretching you out with a loud moan "you always take it so well, don'tcha?" he grins at you, tipping your head upwards and kissing you - refuses to move tho. - basically baited you into cockwarming him - what a royal asshole. - "what is it?" he coos when he feels your walls clamp down on him, your fingers desperately toying with your clit to get some sort of relief "pl- pleasefuckme-" there's tears clinging onto your lashline, your lips are red from how long you've been biting and chewing on them "hm?" he grins at your state, "what was that you said?" "please-" your breath hitches as he thrusts into you suddenly "fuck you?" "go- god. fuck, yes" his thrusts are merciless, pounding into you at a speed that has your overstimulated cunt spasming in seconds - doesn't let you go till he feels like he's paid you back enough "that was fun" he nuzzles into your neck, breathing slowly "mhm" you feel yourself dozing off he lays you down before snuggling into you and falling asleep - will end up giving you a massage in the morning anyways - although he can be just a little bit of a dick sometimes, there's no one you would rather unwind with
bonus!!
- ussop (while crying) had to relocate from his cabin to sanji's because the walls are really not that thick and he was next door - "i can hear them-" ussop sniffled, standing at sanji's doorstep, "omg i can hear luffy-" "ussop, you have to learn to face the horrors of the world." sanji spoke firmly, although his expression betrayed the confidence in his voice - actually they both just cried and ate the secret stash of ice-cream sanji had saved up - you and luffy need to pay for their therapy now im afraid 😃
zoro's part <3 sanji's part <3
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kiatheinsomniac · 7 months
Note
hi kia :) are you doing ok? i hope you are queen 💃 I was wondering if you could write how the assassins (altair, ezio, connor, arno, jacob) would react to a reader who suddenly passed out after standing up too fast 😭 it happened to me yesterday and it made me laugh so hard afterwards like thats the goofiest way to pass out ever 💀 iron deficiency queen 👏
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☾ ⋆ ゚𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: bestie mood. i stand up too quickly and immediately go semi-blind and have to lean on things for support lol 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: altaïr, ezio, ratonhnhaké:ton | connor, arno, jacob 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: none
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。・:*˚:✧。 altaïr ibn-la'ahad
♡ he's got the fastest reflexes you've ever seen, he's lunging to catch you so you don't fall or hit your head. He immediately checks that you're still breathing and will cup your face in his hands and give firm pats to your cheeks while talking loudly to you, trying to pull you back to consciousness
♡ when he finds out why you've passed out, he's immediately reprimanding you and sending you to go and eat enough nutritious foods.
。・:*˚:✧。 ezio auditore
♡ he wasn't quick enough to catch you yes this is based on how quick you have to be to interact with the game or you don't get to hug Leonardo sobs but he does immediately check you over for injury, your head being the first he checks. He lays you on your back with your head in his lap as he waits the few moments it takes for you to return to consciousness
♡ he immediately begins to ask how you feel and if anywhere hurts and wants to know if you're sick or if you've been eating or drinking enough. He'll pick you up bridal style and cook you a meal himself if it's older Ezio but younger Ezio will lay you down somewhere cosy while he sends for a servant to cook for you.
。・:*˚:✧。 ratonhnhaké:ton | connor kenway
♡ he won't show it but he panics. He's watched his village be burned to the ground as a child and his life's work revolves around killing people so when he sees you drop to the floor, his first though isn't that you've fainted but that you've died.
♡ he soon gets over that moment of gut-wrenching panic though and comes to his senses, immediately checking you over for injury, checking your temperature and your breathing. He sets you down somewhere comfortable, assuming you're now on your way to bruising from hitting the ground. He makes sure that you get plenty to eat and drink, trying to use the most nutritious ingredients he can for you.
。・:*˚:✧。 arno dorian
♡ another one who panics due to childhood trauma: when he sees someone laid on the floor like that, for a moment, that awful memory of his father flashes before his eyes. He's not so good at hiding his concern as Connor is though. The panic is evident in his voice as he calls out to you and dashes to your side.
♡ Arno knows to make sure that you haven't hit your head or anything and he sets your head in his lap while he waits for you to regain consciousness. When your eyes do open again and you look up at him, you'll see teary eyes and shaking hands on him. But he's just relieved you're ok. You'll get a very pointed tongue-lashing from him following by him insisting on making sure you're well-fed and hydrated
。・:*˚:✧。 jacob frye
♡ with quick reflexes and his very extroverted personality, Jacob is either fast enough to catch you or surrounded by some Rooks who he can call to so they can break your fall if he's too far. His first worry is that you're overworking yourself so he makes sure you get a break from work
♡ cannot cook to save his life so he's had to go out and order food to bring back for you (or he's begged Evie to cook for which he now owes her many favours) but he insists that you eat and drink well to recover
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☾ ⋆ ゚like my work? why not: ∘ buy me a coffee? ∘ commission me? ∘ join my taglist ∘ consider following/reblogging
🏷️@gojohater101 @ayameiris4 @veryfancydoilies @asuni921  @writing-noah @danielle-marie @minimisthios @tired-lime @ghostofpolaris @etherealsdreaming @loopycorn1123 @jofie-does-things @havatnah @weasleytwins-41 @firagirl @catou1305 @daddyadler @b3k1720 @asianbutnotjapanese
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Choices
I'm currently in the middle of flying overseas for my schl's exchange trip and yes I typed this all out whilst turbulence was crazy it was not a fun experience.
Summary: You and Astarion talk the night before you confront Cazador
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"I thought you did your brooding in your tent."
"Sometimes, my dear, a change of scenery is good for brooding." He looks up at you, shifting to the right a little. You sit down in the spot created, legs dangling over the edge just like his. His shoulder gently brushes against yours as he turns his gaze back to the sprawling city that is Baldur's Gate. You follow the direction of his gaze, taking in the flickering lights of the city at night and breathe in the crisp cool air.
"So, what's the brooding about on this fine night?" You turn to look at him, admiring the way his curls gently sway in the breeze, the way the moonlight highlights the silver of his hair. He was always beautiful, elegant, handsome, all at the same time, with that hint of sorrow in his ruby red eyes. The same pair of eyes shift to rest on you, taking in your splendour and searches for a way to put his thoughts into words. He isn't even sure what the brooding is about today, all he knows is that he wanted some time away from camp, away from the rest of the party and their energy so that he can take in what will happen tomorrow. He wasn't expecting any company, the others knew better than to disturb him but yours is a welcomed one, lest his thoughts drown him.
"Everything, I suppose." He hums, turning back to look at the city again. It's been a while since he's set foot in those streets, and the last time he was here he was a slave to Cazador, prowling the streets at night for naive prey. Now he's back, free from Cazador's control, free to walk in the same streets in the sun, free to do whatever he wanted. He couldn't be forced to bow to someone else's whims, he was his own person and could choose his own path, as you had told him many times over. Sometimes, he still struggles to comprehend that, he's been a slave for so long that thinking about himself is something long lost to him, but you're patient, catching him when he falls along the way, never demanding anything of him.
"It's been a while since we were last here." You nod. "It is a lot to take in, so many things have changed."
"Everything has changed." He whispers, but you catch his words. Resting your hand on top of his, you give it a gentle squeeze followed by a soft smile of reassurance, the silent promise reaffirmed. He blinks, slowly, and returns the smile, a smile he only ever shows you. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Neither would I." You agree. "I like the change."
"If you keep complimenting me like that, my love, I will have to return the favour." He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "Are you sure you're ready for that?"
When he leans in closer, you start blushing. His lips are a hair breadth's away from yours, tantalizingly close yet so far and you yearn to close the gap but you wait for him to make the move. He pauses, seeking your approval before closing the gap, feeling the softness of your lips, your sweet taste flooding his mouth. His kiss is gentle, filled with yearning and uncertainty, just like his current turmoil of emotions. You kiss back, never wanting to let him go but your need for air forces you to and the both of you part unwillingly.
"Tomorrow we confront Cazador," he murmurs.
"We do. Together." You say firmly. "You're not doing this alone, we'll all be right there by your side."
He gives you a sad smile, "I still…I still worry. I don't know if I can do this, if I can fight him."
"If you can't, we'll fight him on your behalf. Don't worry, we'll make sure he pays dearly." You feel an anger burn deep within you at the vampire lord, swearing vengeance on him for Astarion's sake, but you also know in the end, Astarion will have to be the one dealing the final blow, or Cazador will have him forever, even in true death. It doesn't matter if your party manages to defeat Cazador without Astarion, if Astarion doesn't defeat Cazador, it will all have been for naught.
"But what if Cazador tells them about all the things I've done? What if that causes them to turn on me? You and I can't win that fight." His hands tremble, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. "What if Cazador still has control over me and forces me to attack you?"
"Then we'll make sure none of those come to pass."
"He's a vampire lord, Y/N! He's powerful, terrifying, he —"
"Isn't the worst thing we have and will face. We've stared down one of the Dead Three and we know we have to defeat an elder brain controlled by the Crown of Karsus, Cazador is nothing compared to them. If we can survive a fight with Myrkul and emerge victorious, we can defeat Cazador before he gets the chance to open that damned hole he calls a mouth." You snarl out the last part, much to Astarion's surprise. His lip quivers and he feels tears start to stream down his face, the liquid quickly cooling in the night air. His shoulders start shaking with silent sobs and you panic. This was not the reaction you wanted out of him, this was far from the reaction you were looking for.
"I'm sorry Astarion! I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry, I —" Before you can blabber on, he wraps his arms around you tightly, burying his face into your shoulder, effectively silencing you.
"You didn't say anything wrong. You said everything perfectly, like you always do." He sniffs, adjusting his hug. He buries a hand in your hair whilst the other rests on your back. "You're always full of surprises."
"Well, that is one of my strengths," you smile, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. You return the hug, nuzzling into his hair and simply hold him while he lets everything out.
Astarion cannot deny that he's still worried about facing Cazador, that the very thought sends his undead heart thundering in his chest. In his two hundred years under Cazador, not once had he ever thought about standing against Cazador, all that fight had been long beaten out of him, but that all changed when you crashed into his life, dragging a few others along with you. To think that one day, he would find the courage to fight Cazador alongside people he considered friends (to a certain degree), that he would find someone he wanted to devote his life to. If he told his past self about this, his past self would have scorned him, told him to stop dreaming and face the reality of an eternal life as Cazador's puppet. But this was real, all this was real. He wasn't dreaming, he was in reality, a reality he had thought was long lost to him.
Your warmth washes over him, anchoring him in the reality that is his. When the sun dips below the horizon tomorrow, the future will be his to dictate. His and his alone. Looking into your eyes that hold so much love for him, he decides right there and then. He chooses to have you in the future that awaits him, he chooses to forge a future where the both of you can be together, unbound by fear.
He chooses you.
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Text
The Farmer's Daughter 7
Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Walter Marshall
Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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"It was so nice of Walter to help you with the shopping," your mother sings as she puts away a stack of cans in the pantry.
"Yeah," you agree, "it was. Especially 'cause he can carry more bags than me."
She chuckles, "he is rather strong. And big..." she's quiet as she takes out a few more things from a paper bag, "handsome."
"Ma," you gasp and look at the doorway, your father in the next room, still in the recliner.
"I don't mean... not for me," she cackles again.
"Mmm," you put the sugar in the cabinet and turn back as she stares at you, "wait... you mean for me?"
"Well..." her smile falls, "he is so helpful. And nice. And..." she shrugs and shakes her head, "I shouldn't say. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous."
"You are," you insist, "he's... a lot older. Besides, he wouldn't be interested."
"Hon," she chides, "he looks at you." She tilts her head coyly, "he watches you, you don't notice?"
"Ma," you snort again, "stop. You're going to make it awkward."
"I'm just saying. It wouldn't be entirely crazy, would it?"
"Wouldn't it?" You ask.
She's quiet again. She goes into the pantry again as you try to focus on unpacking. She's just trying to distract herself, you're sure. How can you blame her with all that's going on?
Walter is too old and he's standoffish. He's just doing your dad a favour, nothing more than that. You wouldn't blame him for wiping his hands of it all at Timothy's next catastrophe.
A sudden clatter makes you jump and has your mother scrambling out of the pantry. She grasps her chest as you hear Heather's shrill cry, "Patrick!" You rush out ahead of your mom and watch Heather hold him under his arms, placing him back in his chair.
"What's happened?" Your mom shoulders past you.
"He's alright, we were just working on our exercises," the nurse assures as she pulls back, "isn't that right, Patrick?"
Your father gurgles but doesn't speak clearly. Your mother scrunches up her fingers anxiously and hovers behind the recliner, "did he fall?"
"No, no, it was just the table," Heather points to the TV tray overturned on the other side of the chair. "He's doing very good."
"Oh, oh," your mother touches her forehead and heaves, "I was just... scared."
"Ma, why don't you lay down?" You suggest.
"I can't, I got the groceries--"
"I can get the rest," you promise, "please, I know you're not sleeping."
"Hon," she sighs.
"Ma, please, we don't need you getting sick too," you plead.
"Alright, but you come get me in an hour," she demands.
"I will."
Reluctantly she backs away, finally turning at the door. You listen to her creaky ascension and leave Heather with your father. You tremble as you set away the last of the groceries and fold up the paper bags. You tuck them beneath the sink and try to shake off your nerves.
You need a breath of fresh air. Your heady is fuzzy and your eyes glossy. You go out the back door and sit on the back steps. You shudder out a breath and hold your head. The tears trickle out before you can stop them.
The last week you've outpaced the emotions. Keeping busy with your chores, watching after your mom as she does the same for your father. It's like a snake with its own tail. You can't run anymore. Your shoulders rack as you let yourself cry, heaving into your hand as you hiccup loudly.
You just want your dad back. You want the man who used to tell you cheesy jokes about his tractor and pretend to get his finger caught in the machinery. You want everything to be like it used to be. You want to wake up from this nightmare.
You still as you run out of tears. You stay as you are, hunched over and quivering. The buzzing of insects and gentle sway of the grass hums in the air.
A sudden pounding in the grass brings your head up. Walter jogs towards you, wiping away sweat from his brow as he slows. He wears only a ribbed white take, dampened around his chest and sides. Concern ripples in his forehead as he approaches.
"Everything alright?" He puffs as he kneels before you.
"I... yeah, I'm sorry," you mop your face with your knuckles, "I was just... it's nothing."
You try to smile and your cheeks pinch and your mouth downturns. The strain in your lips tugs at your heart again and you sniff back another wave of tears, another droplet slipping free.
"Sweetheart," he rasps and surprises you as he moves to sit beside you on the step, crowding you against the short railing.
He drapes his arm around you and pulls you to him, pushing your head on his shoulder. He rocks you and hushes you. Even trapped in grief, you can't help but be stunned by his gentleness.
"I'm okay," you insist and try to draw back.
"You shouldn't hold it in," he says as he brings his hand up to pet your head, "your father's a good man--"
Before he can finish, you sob again. You shake your head and bury your face against him. You can't stop. You throw your arm around his neck and pull yourself close. He welcomes you in as his arm snakes snugger around you.
"I'm sorry," you babble, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." you chant the apology over and over as he hushes you. You can't stop. It's all spilling out and there's no way to stem the deluge.
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pray4saint · 10 months
Note
Daughter!reader meeting Sirius in Azkaban for the first time ever. Bonus points if Remus tags along because as her godfather he’s protective.
seeing dad!sirius in azkaban for the first time
masterlist & descrip. pg-13. 13+. angst. comfort. semi-implied wolfstar. caretaker!remus. uncle/dad figure!remus.
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”you know we don't have to go sunshine, he'll be alright.” you twiddled your thumbs, taking a deep breath as remus tried for the fourth time in twenty minutes to reassure you.
it'd been almost a year since you'd seen your father and you'd been in remus' care, and despite how unsure you were that remus had forgiven him for what happened, he'd insisted that anytime you wanted to see your dad you could.
”i want to see him.” remus raised a brow at you. ”i need to see him, please rem.” it was more than you wanted to say but the entire time sirius black had been locked up you had never mentioned missing your father. of course remus knew better, anyone who had a dad like sirius would miss him, which is why it was so hard to believe what he'd done.
remus turned away from you, hand on your shoulder, nodding to the gaurd. the gaurd opened the door and you walked through, remus trailing closely behind you.
the room you entered was dark, a couple of gaurds around, a few dimly lit candles here and there, the strong stench of people rotting, and standing up at a table about fifteen feet from you, sirius black. he looked like he had lost some weight, that much was obvious. as you got closer though, you could see the bags under his eyes, the new wrinkles that had appeared around his eyes and forehead, now his smile was weak and he looked unwell.
from across the table, despite how horrible weak he looked, his eyes still glimmered when he looked at you, full of love. ”hi sunshine.” even his voice was different, more hoarse, drier. ”hi dad.” you both sat down and remus pulled up a chair close to you. ”hi remus.” your father gave the man beside you a crooked grin however he wasn't met with a verbal response, only a nod and low grunt of recognition.
in a matter of minutes, talking about how school was going, watching your father listen with such intent and interest, it took everything in you not to cry. he genuinely looked so happy to see you and a little part of you wished you'd come to see him sooner, but then again it felt like a huge favour to ask of remus.
”is anything else going on?” sirius smiled at you, his hand nervously playing with the rest of his fingers. ”no, not really. but i do miss you dad.” you slowly reached your hand out, palm up, looking around at the gaurds. sirius' hand was shaky as it reached for yours. once his hand was in yours, you squeezed, and you could feel tears pricking at your eyes when he squeezed back. ”i miss you more sunshine.” his smile looks more genuine, bigger, as if he's finally been set free.
remus taps your shoulder. ”y/n we've gotta get goin' pumpkin.” he whispers the words, and you turn to him. he can see how the tears threaten to leave your eyes, your cheeks already pink. you don't even get a chance to respond before he speaks again. ”i can give you a few more minutes, but really, we've got to get home. marls is bringing soup for dinner, remember?” you nod and he smiles at you.
”five minutes.” one of the gaurds behind you gives the warning and all of a sudden you're aware of the time. you wipe at your eyes, ”fuck, dad i need more time.” he kisses your hand, ”i know princess.”
”can i have a hug dad?” the words, almost breathless, cause your father's eyes to brighten and all of a sudden he's up and walking around the table to you, kneeling down so he can wrap his arms around you. with your head in his neck, you finally let the tears fall, as does he. ”i love you so much sunshine.” you only sob harder against his hair and he squeezes you closer to his chest. ”you've gotta go now.” he pulls away, wiping away at your tears while you wipe at his.
hesitantly, you let go, trying to pull your remaining tears back into your eyes. ”i love you dad.” he nods at you with a smile, the same weak smile he had at the start of the visit. you turn around in your seat and nod to remus.
on your way out of the room, remus stopped you and turned back to your father. ”you know,” sirius' head snaps up to remus and you give him a confused look. ”it was good to see you pads.”
”you too moons.” you smile, although the origin of the nicknames is just as lost on you as it always has been.
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pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.
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granddaughterogg · 2 months
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Ghost and you having a lil' one night stand in the club
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You weaved your wanting fingers into the longer part of his fade, sliding the mask further up.
He stilled your wrists. 
"Hey. Hey", he whispered cautiously into the bridge of your nose. "Don't even think about it."
"So...the mask stays on?... Like, all the way?" You inquired breathlessly between nipping at his mouth.
"Yes."
You looked this peculiar man in the eyes, now gleaming with fun, but dark and puzzling nonetheless. What was he hiding? Scars? Being a plain ol' butterface? Facial deformity of some kind?
You examined this thought thoroughly and found out that you don't care.
"All right", you said. "But tell me one thing. Are you Deadpool?"
He snorted softly. "I'm just Ghost."
"Ghost?.."
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me."
And kiss you he did.
Holy fuck, he was so good at this. Even when he let himself loose, abandoning all fuckboy moves in favour of feral lust. 
And maybe especially then.
Your tongues entwined in a blind dance, devoid of any rhythm. It was as un-romantic as humanly possible and you liked it that way. That frenzied, rushed approach of his told you that the man was truly starving, losing himself already in this newly acquired flavour, in your feminine warmth. His desperation set your blood ablaze. 
Because you were hungry too.
Ghost finally broke contact, but before leaning away he glided his tongue over your half-opened mouth. It was as if he just couldn't part with the taste.
"Hold on...fuck, you're something else." He sighed and put both of your hands around his wide neck.
"Hold tight, love", he cautioned as if you two were boarding a ride. 
When you did as told, he grabbed at your ass.
You yelped when his hands pressed into the soft flesh under the thin velvet of your dress. He effortlessly pulled you off the ground and lifted you up. 
"Wrap your legs around me", he asked.
You were not a dainty lady. When other guys attempted such stunts, you usually started to fear for their backs. But not for Ghost. This guy was born for heavy-duty activities. You recently watched him sweep the floor with a grown man.
He could take you.
You suspected that he'd carry you out of a battlefield as well.
You wrapped your thighs around his thick waist, crossing your booted legs over the small of his back. You felt his firm core underneath you, covered with a healthy layer of soft flesh. That width of his didn't come just from muscles, and the discovery excited you. You liked your men strong, but not starving.
"That's right..." Ghost slid his large hands under your thighs, tearing another yelp out of you, followed by a stifled moan as he pressed your ass against the nearest wall. 
"What are you doing?" you breathed, holding on for dear life.
"Keepin' a promise." That low gritty voice reverberated in your bones.
Right, he had said this earlier.  I could pin you to a wall if you ask nicely.
The next moment all thoughts - the very ability to think - drifted away from you, for he glided his tongue across that space behind your ear. You moaned, your head falling back as if electricity had just pierced you. He chuckled into your collarbone and was already going lower, kissing, licking and sucking the sensitive skin of your throat. His tongue felt like a flame.
"Jesus Christ...", you breathed. "You're gonna fuck me like this?"
"If that's what you want".
"I dunno. It's kinda – aah! - uncomfortable..."
You tried really hard to rein your thoughts, but they fell apart while this impossible man held you against a wall.
It felt like being sandwiched between cold wood and a living furnace.
As if trying to make the thought process even harder, Ghost dug his fingers deeper into your buttcheeks, bunching up the fabric. It slid up your thighs, eliciting a high-pitched squeal from you.
"This fuckin' skirt is in the way", he murmured. After some more finagling, he got away with the velvet and stroked at the sheer pantyhose underneath. His long fingers nudged the lacy elastic keeping your stay-ups in place.
"Stockings?" He asked, as if unable to believe his luck.
"Yep", you grinned at him.
" Fuckin' hell."
That came out low and guttural. You felt a sharp tingle within as if someone tugged at a string attached to your core.
That narrow strip of lace awakened something in him. He stepped away from the wall and threw you onto the nearest futon. You landed on your back with legs splayed out, but you didn't have time to collect yourself because he was already on top of you, pressing you to the ground with that huge torso, obscuring the dim light, filling up your whole world. He put his arms over your head and pressed them against the soft surface.
Then he leaned over you and dragged his mouth across your cleavage, biting on the skin on your throat, eliciting another moan, and then he let go. You moaned again, protesting this abandonment.
"I know, love", he murmured into your mouth. "But we need to get rid of your knickers."
This is an excerpt from my ongoing Ghost x reader fic which you shall find HERE :3
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vagabond-umlaut · 3 months
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it's easy to ferry souls, not carry them
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deep down in the realm of the netherworlds, there exists a rower who transports deceased souls from the land of living to the land of dead-
and occasionally lends an ear and a hand, in the event of yet another collision between their weary queen and her just as cheery suitor...
[uraume deserves a raise.]
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▸gojo satoru x fem!reader; the tale of kore!gojo & hades!reader w a guest appearance by charon!uraume; uraume is a very nice parental figure to you [ooc!uraume but ehh]; the reader is honestly so sweet and hot-tempered...; the cutest doggy cerberus too is there!!!!; gojo satoru must be his own warning...; uraume does not like gojo [no parent [blood-related or not] actually wld]; fire hazards; 2k wc
▸ i've nvr read percy jackson and wtv i wrote here is based on my shaky knowledge of greek myths and stuff 😁😁 anyways, this header's from pinterest, these dividers are by @benkeibear and the characters used ain't mine. pls do not plagiarize, translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️
▸ belongs to series 'wreaths of asphodel' – same universe as the work 'hey, where is the pomegranate tree?' — but you can treat this as a stand-alone fic if you wanna!
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"why is kore so set on marrying me, uraume?"
it isn't the ask itself which causes the rower to nearly lose grip of their oar– but the way it is spoken: soft, solemn and faintly tense. they look away from the endless expanse of the styx before, to find you staring at your reflection in the inky waters, features unnaturally crumpled.
uraume holds back a frown. "has her majesty considered asking the god the same?"
"i have asked him," you mumble, "but i did not receive any conclusive answer in return. the imp was being too vague– must be a trait learnt from those shifty nymphs always sticking to his side."
if your faithful follower detects anything except dislike in your words, they make no mention of it. merely humming as they continue to row the boat, "and may this servant know the question her majesty asked the god?"
"two," you mumble even more clumsily now; they take a beat to grasp it, too concerned by the way you drape yourself over the edge, nearly falling into the water as you say, "i asked him two questions— one, if he loves me; two, if he wants to have children should we get married."
shock must not be uraume's first reaction to these queries, yet it is— and for a moment, it isn't you sitting there anymore.
instead, it is a little girl, no older than seven or eight years, cherubic face fixed in a look of deep concentration and fascination while the rower narrates to her stories from times millennia ago–
only for the child to morph into a young lady– no, goddess– the very next beat... slouched under a regal cloak too heavy for her shoulders, under a royal crown too large for her head... that sweet innocence of childhood nothing but traces now, having been withered by the foul, dirty politics of those damned deities high up on that mountain—
"what answers did the olympian offer her majesty?"
"he said he would love me and sire my children if that is what i want— i asked if he wished anything out of our union— he said all he wanted is to be my husband–"
something between a frustrated sigh and an exhausted scoff erupts from you, becoming an opaque fog the moment it hits the frigid air of the underworld. uraume plucks the oar out the water to come sit next to you, letting the boat be driven by magic.
"you're worried," they state, forgoing all formalities in favour of giving you some much-needed comfort. you never much cared for stations anyways, quite unlike your elder brother, the former king.
"an unfamiliar friend poses more risk than a familiar enemy, uraume," you mutter, resting your head on their shoulder, "why do you think kore wishes to marry me so much, if not out of love or the prospect of the powerful offsprings we might beget?"
"marriage is not solely for love or for procreation," the rower starts to explain, mildly amused before it grows into sympathy at your baffled expression.
ah, they muse fondly, not unlike a parent watching their child witness the world seemingly the first time ever since they learnt to walk, you who presides over something as profound as death yet knows not of the trivialities of life...
"it can also be for many other reasons like–"
the remainder of the words skitter away from uraume— cerberus is playing with gojo.
the fierce guard of the netherworlds, the three-headed hound, loyal and dutiful to a fault: hades' dearest canine companion is frolicking with the god of life in a green meadow, that most certainly was not there so close to the stygian marsh, when they last—
"gojo is laughing," your remark draws them away from their musings, only to find a changed shadow over your countenance— pensive yet not thinking at all; almost as if you too are floating in the stale air of your kingdom akin the soft flower petals...
another ring of raucous laughter pierces the silence, mingled with a delighted series of barks— cerberus is busy licking gojo's face now, the olympian reduced to a puddle of giggles as he scratches behind the dog's ears.
his happiness so clear in the stretch of his grin and the crinkle of his eyes, very much the jarring contrast to the last time—
oh. oh, oh, oh–
"escape," the word leaves uraume in a sudden moment of realisation, as quiet as a breath but loud enough for you to whip your head back to face them, confusion engraved into your scowl. "escape?? what is that supposed to mean, eh?"
the rower feels their lips lift into an infrequent smile. "the god of life wishes to marry you to escape— from his mother, or from his many suitors, or perhaps from mount olympus itself."
"wha– how– hah," you breathe out a disbelieving little huff, "that is simply ridiculous. have you even heard yourself? that is ridiculous."
used to such resistance from yourself, even more from your brother, they move to state their points, only to beaten by you as you persist to speak.
"no one in their right mind will decide to come live in the underworld, no matter how overbearing their mother or insistent their suitors are. have you seen this place? it's too, too unlike the lushness of the earth or the grandeur of the heavens he has experienced. and–" you add, a harsh laugh accompanying it. "gojo satoru is a god. a fish might leave the water— but a god never steps a voluntary foot down that horrible mountain. never."
"but the olympian never truly lived on mount olympus," uraume says once they're sure you've completed your tirade, "and you are a goddess as well. why do you speak so ill of the heavens then?"
"why?" you echo the word. they nod, hoping you take the bait they've intended for you. you do.
"why, because that place is nothing but a shining apple with a rotten core!! everything is polished marble and glittering gold there. people constantly wave at each other, lavishing smiles and praises like there is no tomorrow. everything is so warm and bright— what a bunch of lies and liars!"
familiar fire burns in your aura, the immense heat making the waters erupt into boiling— uraume uses their powers to cool the river down, lest anything disturbs you.
you're too far gone in your rage to be shaken, however, continuing:
"but it never can hide the grime and dirt accrued beneath such shine and sheen. nor the vicious minds and crooked hearts of those deities up above– what lame excuses of gods and goddesses, hah. and you might think me to prefer the light and warmth up there— you will be sorely wrong, my dear uraume!! i much prefer the genuine darkness and frigidity of my beloved kingdom to the faux comfort of the awful mount olympus—"
"is there no possibility the god of life too despises mount olympus for these same reasons, milady?"
you open your mouth and close it, then open it again to let out a very aggrieved whine– momentarily transporting uraume to your younger days. the rower merely chuckles when you punch their arm lightly.
"you're the worst, uraume," you cry, getting up and moving to sit on the other end of the boat. the rower too rises but only to resume rowing the boat by the oar.
"you never spoke this way when sukuna was the ruler— only because his baby sister is the ruler now, and you think she is very stupid—"
"as much as i respect and revere lord sukuna, he wasn't one to listen to anyone else," uraume interrupts gently, "you do, though– which is why i spent so much time telling you this. i hope you did not mind."
"hey, no," you immediately wave away their concern with a wide grin, eliciting a smaller one from the latter, "i could never..."
another peal of laughter and barks rings through the otherwise-quiet. you abruptly trail off, the same conflicting expression from before on your face yet again. though not without a spark in your eyes, uraume notes, almost as if you're slowly learning how to solve the puzzle who is repeatedly offering himself to you.
uraume keeps the silence you initiate, choosing to row the boat while you keep staring at the assortment of hues near the stygian marsh...
until you call their name and declare, an odd firmness in your smile, "well then, it is decided. i shall allow gojo to stay here for as long as the god so wishes to, escaping whatever or whoever he is escaping. and i shall protect him from the latter, should it ever come for him."
a beat. your smile falls into something graver. "would it be better if i swore by the dread water of styx, uraume?"
"uh, um," the rower finds themselves at a loss of words, the first time in seemingly forever, and they have been around since titanomachy– but before they can recover themselves enough to formulate a proper reply, a giggly voice joins in—
"well, if my rose does that, i would consider myself the most blessed amongst all mortals and immortals!"
— and the waters surrounding the boat shoot upwards in a scathing geyser-like jet and steam— the ferocious queen of the netherworlds visibly torn between remorse and terror, as they offer uraume a stiff nod and gojo a horrified look, before vanishing in a wisp of fog.
the boiling waters of the river styx calm down only after a twenty-minute-long struggle by uraume, joined at the very end by gojo.
the latter looks positively delighted, when the former collapses to the bottom of the boat, exhausted beyond belief. "hey, charon. was that a result of your queen getting flustered by me, huh?"
yes, it was. it very much was, the sentences nearly slip past the tired rower's crumbling defences... until it hits them– who they serve, and who they don't.
uraume decides to throw back a glare and a lie. "her majesty was not flustered, lord kore. she was enraged at how you invaded the privacy of her weekly boat ride, intended to make her relax."
"oh, puh-lease," the god makes a face. the rower is certain he would have been punished in the pits of tartarus for all eternity, then some more were he to pursue you this way during your brother's reign, let alone disrespect you thus.
ignorant and insolent, he continues, "in few days time, i'll be allowed into the privacy of her living quarters; what is the privacy of her boat th—"
"you're lucky you did not make such outrageous remarks in front of the queen," uraume cuts him off, none too kindly nor gently, "if you did, her majesty would have certainly burnt you along with the boat to a crisp–"
"i know," comes the defeated reply within the instant. and while gojo is still not in uraume's good graces, the latter decides to notch him a level higher, considering the god of life accepts their queen's powers.
not many do.
he strikes a pathetically pitiful figure, uraume reckons, seeing him sit then slouch on the bench. "was she serious when she said she would protect me?"
your loyal subject nods, certain and solemn. "yes, she was. the queen is never careless when it comes to making promises."
"oh, that's reassuring," gojo says quietly— only to recline even further in the very next beat– an anguished, grating wail tearing from him to the stifling silence looming near the stygian marsh. uraume wonders if it is worth it to steer the boat towards acheron... then push him into its waters of woe...
they decide against it on catching the desperation worn by the god.
for all it is, it might nothing more than a ploy. yet something tugs at their mind to pause and listen when gojo howls, "why does my rose always scurry away after tilting my world on its axis? why does your queen always torment me like this, charon?"
uraume stares pensively at their face in the sacred waters of styx for a while. then heaves a mighty sigh.
certain, this exchange between the goddess of the dead and the god of life will impact not only your and gojo's respective worlds— but the general world and everyone else in it, as well.
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did you know, in the actual greek myths, persephone was never called so before her marriage to hades? she got it only after, w the name meaning "bringer of death". her initial name was kore, referring to her being a maiden & the spring goddess.
the river styx was called the "dread river of oath" by homer– in both the iliad and the odyssey [greek epic poems], swearing by its waters is the "greatest and most dread oath for the blessed gods" -> this shows how serious the reader is towards ensuring gojo's safety and freedom, and how deeply this affects gojo as well [source: wiki 😇]
also: the reader is totally ready to jump into the water to swim away when she realises gojo was listening in on her conversations- but then she remembers she can js vanish away and so she does js tht— the queen of the underworld, and of escaping, hehe
also also: the reader is slightly jealous when she is talking of the shifty nymphs always sticking to gojo's side. [uraume identifies it; you think it is js your usual dislike to such frivolous things and ppl as flowers and nymphs etc.] [hades is emo imho 😊]
▸ masterlist
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megalony · 4 months
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Beautiful Destruction- Part 2
This is the second part in my latest Evan Buckley series, I hope you will all like it. Feedback is always amazing, let me know what you think.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff
911 Masterlist
Part 1
Summary: Evan's self-destruct behaviour lands him in therapy, where he connects with (Y/n). Everything starts changing when she transfers to the 118 and their worlds collide.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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"So, your dad tells me you've joined the one-eighteen."
(Y/n) smiled around the rim of her coffee cup and looked down at the swirling puffs of steam circling into the air. She tried to curb her smile down and tame her reaction, she didn't want to seem overly keen or suddenly worried. But one look at Athena had (Y/n)'s eyes creasing at the corners and she put down her cup so it stopped morphing her smile.
"Any specific reason why… is it to do with your dad?" Athena perched her elbows down on the table and placed her cup down in front of her. She had been a little more than surprised when Bobby came home three days ago and told her that (Y/n) was the official new member of the team. The reason (Y/n) didn't join the 118 when she first became a fire fighter was because they didn't want anyone to think Bobby would favour her or lose his judgement with his daughter on the team.
"Felt like I was missing out," (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders while she shuffled forward on her seat and leaned over the table.
"Hm. You sure? I'm glad you both seem happy with the switch, it's just a little sudden."
"I fancied a change, I'm always listening out for their team on the radio, checking in, you know? Thought working with them might be easier."
It was partially true. (Y/n) did cling to the radio when she heard her dad's team attending to a call out or a rapidly spreading fire. She always listened when one of them was being taken to hospital and when they had their mayday calls and it made her anxious. (Y/n) knew if one of her dad's team got injured, it set off his own panic and she always wanted to make sure if he got hurt, she could go straight to him.
Moving to their team would stop that panic and give (Y/n) the feeling of being understood and looked out for. At least if she couldn't count on the rest of the team like her old station, she knew she could always count on her dad to watch her back and make sure she was alright.
"Well you're certainly your father's daughter which will shake things up in that place."
"No kidding. Eddie isn't sure what to make of me and Chimney is kissing my behind to suck up to dad. It's gonna take a while to settle in."
(Y/n) had only worked three shifts with the team so far but she was slowly finding her feet and falling into place with them. She had some medical knowledge and background which meant that while she gelled with Hen and Chimney, she also had a link to Eddie. He wasn't a paramedic like them but he was an army medic and (Y/n) and Eddie were on standby for any medical emergencies that got out of hand.
Hen seemed fine with (Y/n), she had heard about her from Athena, naturally, which was a good thing. But Chimney was gluing himself to (Y/n) so he could ask things about Bobby and try to stay on Bobby's good side. It was endearing but it was also a little unsettling.
Whereas Eddie wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to make her welcome, (Y/n) could sense that. But he didn't want to overstep the mark or do anything that would unsettle the foundations because she was Bobby's daughter that that automatically meant to tread lightly.
Evan was a whole other situation.
It felt rather easy to work alongside Evan and fit in. He automatically took to showing her the ropes and their way of doing things and his joking manner made things simple. They could have a laugh and try to play things cool so no one guessed there was something going on with them behind closed doors.
"You'll fit in just fine, especially after one of their parties." Athena rose her brows and grinned before she finished the rest of her coffee. A party would be just the thing to get (Y/n) officially intergrated into their team and have her become one of them.
If it was anything like the Christmas party, (Y/n) would be in for a treat.
She and Evan might have to abstain from the alcohol though. She could barely remember that night and she knew Evan didn't remember it either. Drunken nights of passion were all well and good, but not when both their minds were ticking time bombs.
When her phone buzzed in her pocket, (Y/n) put down her cup and dug around in her back pocket.
'Hey, kind of had a rough shift. Fancy a drink? Don't wanna be alone tonight. XX'
(Y/n) rolled her lips together as she felt her shoulders slump down. Her weight fell onto her elbows on the table and she sank her teeth into her lower lip.
That didn't sound good.
Evan didn't seem the type who would admit when he had a bad day. From what he said in therapy, he kept his problems to himself. Asking for help wasn't easy for anyone and he wasn't ready to do that yet, but this was close. He was admitting something was wrong and he was asking her for some sort of help. Drinking the night away might not be helpful, but (Y/n) could certainly give Evan some company and check that he was alright.
'Sure, on my way. XX'
"Do you mind if I head off?"
"Sure, you got plans?"
(Y/n) slipped her phone back into her pocket and drained the last drop of her coffee. Evan had timed that right. (Y/n) had come over to have tea with Athena and May who had already shot off back home before her night shift at the call centre. Since they had eaten and the coffee was empty, (Y/n) didn't feel bad about leaving. She had spent the majority of the afternoon with Athena, she could spare the evening for Evan.
"A friend wants to meet for a drink."
Again, she wasn't technically lying. She was just keeping some things to herself.
It surprised (Y/n) how quick it was to get from her dad's house over to Evan's apartment. She wondered fi Evan had realised how close he was to work and to Bobby when he moved in here. He probably did. He seemed like the kind of person who wanted to be surrounded by his family and friends, he didn't want to be far away from those he cared about.
Surprise and apprehension flooded through (Y/n)'s stomach all at once when she approached Evan's apartment and found the door unlocked. He had buzzed her in, logically he had unlocked the door too. But he normally waited for her to knock.
She knocked anyway and slowly opened the door, peeking her head round as she shouted a quiet, "Evan, you okay?"
Her eyes flitted to the kitchen and once she saw his broad frame, she shut the front door behind her and picked up the pace to go into the kitchen. She unhooked her bag from her shoulder and slung down on the counter but (Y/n) couldn't drag her eyes away from him.
Evan was leaning back against the counter next to the sink, pressing his lower back and hips rather tightly into the counter edge. He had one leg crossed over the other, one hand propped up behind him on the counter, presumably to stabalise himself. And a half-full beer bottle in his other hand. The way he rose the bottle to his lips and took a swig made his Adam's apple bob up and down and his neck tensed and flexed.
If she wasn't looking so intently, (Y/n) would have missed the way his head tilted to one side before correcting itself and holding straight again.
"Are you okay… what happened at work?"
He drained the bottle. In one swoop, the last half of the bottle was drunk and he let the bottle drop into the sink with a clash. The sound echoed through the kitchen and made (Y/n) shudder and when she pushed up on her toes to look across at the sink, she sucked in a deep breath. He'd had quite a lot to drink. A few beers, a few shots of vodka by the look of the empty bottle that they had cracked open last week and didn't finish.
"Cap sent me home." Evan's lips pulled into a tight grin that was full of sarcasm but it masked the pain well. The only trace of hurt was swirling in his baby blue eyes that burned into (Y/n)'s so much she felt like melting into a puddle on the floor.
"Why?"
"We had a car crash, the engine caught fire while I was getting the kids out… I got them both out, but they didn't make it."
Evan dropped his head down to stare at his bare feet for a while. It didn't matter that he got them out. It didn't make a difference when Evan crawled out of that car with one kid in each arm and heaved himself over to the ambulance just as the car exploded. All that mattered was his efforts weren't good enough.
Nothing he did was ever good enough and those parents would have to live without two of their three children. Evan couldn't help them.
"Did you get hurt?"
His eyes narrowed and a flash of uncertainty pooled in his eyes. His lips pressed together tightly and he braced both hands on the counter as his eyes followed (Y/n)'s approach.
He stayed still and deathly silent as she moved to stand in front of his legs and leaned her stomach into his like they were about to join in a dance. Her fingertips felt like heaven against his skin and her touch made his skin prickle with heat and adrenaline and his blood fizzled in his veins.
"Why? Doesn't matter, I'm still here-"
"It matters to me. It matters that you would of hurt yourself to get them out." (Y/n) didn't have to be there to know what Evan would have done. She knew he would disobey any order Bobby threw at him to get those kids out. And she knew Evan would of let himself get scolded, burned, scratched and torn apart if it meant getting them out.
He acted first and thought about the consequences later and when he had casualties like this, Evan wouldn't care about his own pain anymore. His turmoil would become irrevelant.
(Y/n) danced her fingertips over his exposed arms, taking in the state of his hands that had a few scold marks near the knuckles and fingertips. His gloves must have started to burn and melt. When she dragged his shirt up to expose his stomach, she watched Evan tip his head back and close his eyes. He wasn't going to stop her. He would do the same if things were the other way around.
No marks, bruises or cuts and burns on his stomach or torso. (Y/n) dragged her hands up to his shoulders and pushed up on her toes so she could lean over his shoulder. He had a minor burn on the back of his neck that went across his right shoulder, but it wasn't deep enough to require hospital treatment.
"Satisfied, baby?"
"No. I'm sorry you lost them, I know it's not easy." Her words made some difference because she wasn't just a girlfriend telling Evan everything was okay. She wasn't an outsider saying she knew what he was going through. (Y/n) had lost people in these situations too, she knew exactly what kind of pain would be rattling through Evan's mind and soul.
"Let's have a drink."
"Evan, baby talk to me-"
"And say what? I almost got crushed to get them out and what good did it do? I carried those kids to the ambulance and… and Bobby wouldn't let me tell their parents I failed them. He wouldn't let me explain how shit I am at this job, that I didn't do it in time."
Words tumbled past his lips before he could stop himself and he waved one hand out in the air before his fingers turned to scratch against his scalp and tug at his hair. He could feel his breaths running away without him and the panic started to bubble back up in his chest.
He hated the panic. It sobered him up. Evan drank to dull down those feelings, not to let them override him again.
"Hey,"
He tried to tilt his head back but he couldn't stop (Y/n) from cupping his face within her palms. Her thumbs brushed beneath his eyes and her fingers stroked against his cheeks as she tilted his head down so she could stand on her tiptoes and press their foreheads together.
They were close enough that Evan could taste her lips and feel each breath she took mingling with his own rapid, shallow breathing.
He couldn't stop himself from reaching up to cup her wrists, silently begging her not to let him go. He didn't want to be without some sort of touch and right now, her touch was the only thing grounding him to the Earth. He let his breaths run away without him but he focused his eyes on hers and shed as many tears as he could to get them out his system.
"Do you want to know what good you did today?"
Evan didn't answer, but he didn't object either, and (Y/n) took that as a sign to keep going.
"You gave those parents closure. One, two, ten seconds later, and they would have no bodies to bury. You don't know what that means to a parent, to have their children home when they pass away. My dad stopped you from telling them because he knew how they would thank you, and he knew you wouldn't be able to handle that. But that's okay, baby. It's okay."
(Y/n) closed her eyes and leaned further into Evan until she finally pressed her lips against his wet, ruby red mouth. She swallowed every little hitched breath and cry he let out, she let him dig his nails into her wrists and sink his teeth down into her lip. And she let his foot reach out and curl around the back of her ankle to drag her closer until every inch of her was pressing down on him.
Evan wanted to feel her weight pushing down on him. He wanted to be pinned between her and the counter to know that he was alive and feel safe with someone who cared.
"But I c-could of saved them-"
"Baby, you don't know that. If they were alive when you got them out, they might still have died on the way to hospital or when they arrived… like my mum." (Y/n) pressed another delicate kiss on Evan's lips while she continued to brush away his tears.
He didn't know what it meant to have loved ones back. (Y/n)'s younger brother died in their house fire years ago but her and Bobby were grateful to the firefighters that managed to get him out. And they were more than grateful that they got her mother out too. She died in the hospital but they still got her out and no one could have done anything more.
No one was blaming Evan; he had no reason to punish himself.
"You gave them back their children, and that's enough. You are enough."
Evan didn't know how important it was for family to have their loved ones back after they died. A lot of people didn't get that. Their families could die in a fire or drown in the sea or be lost and never come home or be found. Parents went to their graves not knowing where their children were and not having graves to visit or ashes to give them comfort.
By getting those kids out, Evan gave those parents that sense of closure. He handed them back their children.
He had done his job the best he could and there was nothing more that Evan could do. He had to come to terms with that and take solace in the small things. Evan needed to accept a little comfort and know he had done enough today.
Punishing himself wasn't going to help anyone when no one was blaming him for what happened today and no one ever would.
'I don't feel like enough.'
Those words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't bring himself to say them. Not to someone who would completely understand where he was coming from. Not to (Y/n). He didn't want her to talk him off that ledge, not quite yet.
"Deep breaths… let me make you some coffee." (Y/n) knew the silent message behind her words would reach Evan. She would try and sober him up a little, he didn't need a hangover to haunt him in the morning and he had drunk enough for tonight. Coffee would settle his system and that was what he needed.
(Y/n) kept one hand cupping his face and brushed her thumb across the corner of his mouth. She pressed her chest into his and leaned around him to flick the kettle on, but Evan shook his head.
He let go of her hands so he could wrap one arm around her waist and cup her hip. His nails scrunched up in her shirt and dug through into her skin and he reached his free hand out to grab the neck of the whiskey bottle tucked far back on the counter behind him.
"I think you've had enough, sweetheart."
(Y/n) could feel his resolve start to fade when she held his chin between her thumb and finger and tilted his head away from the bottle to face her. She tugged him down to her level and kissed him while her other hand reached out for his. She pushed the bottle back down onto the counter.
He had drunk enough while he'd been alone, but he wasn't alone now. She was here now and she was going to take care of him.
"I haven't, I can still feel the panic, in here." He let go of the bottle to rub his fist over his chest. The bundle of nerves were still igniting away in his chest and he wanted it to stop. Drinking stopped his panic, it dulled his overactive mind and calmed him down and made it easier to fall asleep. "Have a drink with me."
When his lips pressed against her temple, (Y/n) sighed and hovered her lips against his neck. But her fingers stayed tight around his wrist and she stopped him from reaching back out for the bottle.
She wasn't doing this.
(Y/n) wanted to help Evan, but drinking with him wasn't going to help. She wanted things to be good between them.
If they started to reply on each other to drink together and lose their minds, they would end up harming each other and destructing themselves. (Y/n) wanted to be a support system for Evan and in order to do that, she had to do what was best for him and drowning their sorrows wasn't going to work. (Y/n) knew a lot about relying on alcohol after seeing her dad go through that and she wouldn't let that happen with Evan too.
"Evan, if I drink the night away with you, it's gonna change us. We'll start destructing together, we'll egg each other on and push ourselves past the edge. And I don't wanna lose you like that. Let me look after you-"
A gasp tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips when Evan cut her off.
His hands cupped the back of her thighs and he swiftly hoisted her up off her feet and walked her forward to the kitchen island. He sat her down on the edge of the counter and moved to stand between her legs with his hands digging tightly into her flesh, moving her legs so she hooked them around his torso.
He kept one hand cupping her thigh but his other hand wandered right beneath her shirt, letting his cold fingers travel across her warm skin until she was squirming in front of him.
"Promise me."
"What?" (Y/n) cupped his face in her hands again and leaned her head forward against his.
"Promise you won't let me go. Stay with me, hold me, just don't let me go."
Each word rambled faster and faster past his lips until (Y/n) could barely focus on what he was saying. There was a sense of urgency behind his words and she found herself nodding along, whispering a promise against his lips that devoured her like she was his last meal on Earth.
His hand slipped down from her back to her bum and he pulled her off the counter, forcing her to sit on his hips while he started to walk away from the kitchen with his lips still attached to hers. He drank her in, inhaling and gasping against her mouth and groaning into her lips when her fingers tangled into his hair.
"How drunk are you, Evan? Is this you destructing?"
Her voice sounded like a lullaby dream in Evan's ears and he found himself smiling despite the tears that were still pooling in the corners of his eyes. He pressed his nose against hers and swiped his tongue out across her lip while he stopped at the foot of the stairs.
"Not drunk enough, baby." Her fingers tickled the back of his neck and he swooped down to attach his lips to her neck instead. "And no, it's not. You're my saving grace."
He wasn't trying to get her into his bed so he could use sex as a way of combusting. He was trying to drown himself in (Y/n) because she was the only thing standing between Evan the the void he was staring into. He would lose himself in her eyes, drown in her body and breathe her in until she made everything stop and put the world back to rights.
***
"Self-harming can come in a lot of different forms, it doesn't have to be physical injuries. It's anything we do that purposely hurts or brings us down in any way. Starving ourselves, forcing ourselves into dangerous situations to prove a point or to feel that risk of being hurt. Abusing substances for various reasons."
(Y/n) found her eyes zoning in on the wooden floor, focusing on the little chips and dents that made something pristine look broken and unkept. She could relate to what Harold was saying.
At one point or another, (Y/n) had done a lot of bad coping mechanisms to punish herself or as a way of coping with the world. They didn't always seem bad, but they felt necessary. Running head first into a bad situation despite being told not to because she felt like she deserved to be in danger and because getting hurt would punish her for the things she had done wrong.
"And in your jobs, where your main priority is to help people, if you can't do that… you can end up hurting yourself to cope or as a punishment." Harold rubbed his hands over his knees as he sat up a bit straighter. "Would anyone like to share?"
"I- I think it feels necessary, for me, rather than as a punishment."
"Okay, can you elaborate on that (Y/n)?"
Sitting opposite Evan in the same seats as last week suddenly felt like they were sitting on opposite ends of the ocean. He looked so far away when she lifted her gaze to stare across at him.
He had his arms folded over his chest, his knees bent out to the sides making his thighs look large and inviting and he was slouched down so he didn't look as tall. She knew Evan felt like he was the odd one out, both because he was new to the group and because he looked different. He was young, like her, but he carried himself like he could face the world, until he walked through those doors.
When Evan walked in here, his resolve changed and his control faded away.
"It's necessary to skip a meal because I can save more time, I can do more at work, I can get on with that call ten or twenty minutes quicker because I cut out something that isn't necessary."
"You prioritise?"
"Yeah… I'll take that sense of danger too. The higher the danger, the more adrenaline, the faster I move, the more I can think and act. My expectations rise each time until I'm thinking… skip breakfast, skip lunch, run into a fire without gloves on so I can grab things better and if I get hurt, then that's a good thing. It proves what I'm doing is paying off somehow."
(Y/n) had expectations of what she wanted to do when she was at work. She wanted to be efficient and eating meals took time. It was time to prepare food, set out the dinner and wash the plates and then try and work it off so she didn't feel too full or too tired.
Skipping that meal meant she felt more alert, more agile and she had an extra half an hour to prioritise and get ready and stock the truck.
When she was scared her adrenaline made her think better, the scarier the better because she worked better under pressure. And if that pressure got her hurt, that was okay, that was just the burden of proof of what she was doing and how it was paying off.
But (Y/n) knew the more she thought like this, the more her expectations would rise and she would never meet those goals she set herself. She would end up starving herself to the point of needing a doctor, she would forget safety measures and put herself at risk to be more efficient and helpful.
"And you know, when you don't meet those expectations, you push harder. But when you do meet them, it's not enough because you raise the bar." When (Y/n) nodded and stared down at her hands, Harold looked around the room. That was her telltale sign that she was done opening up. "Anyone else have any other harmful tendencies?"
"I don't take precautions at work anymore."
"What kind of precautions Evan?"
"When we had a factory fire a few weeks back, we were told to evacuate, but I knew someone was still inside. It wasn't safe and I knew going in could cost me everything, but I did it anyway… against orders."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't scare me. Sometimes… I- I go void, you know? I have days or weeks of not being afraid to risk everything. I know I can do it, so I blunder my way through and I do it."
Evan hated it when he felt that way. He hated that blank, null and void feeling where death didn't phase him and the danger felt limitless and pointless. He ran back into that factory and found a way to get that man out. Granted, he needed the team to come back and help him, but Evan found that man when everyone else was willing to let him die than take a risk.
Evan didn't need the danger and adrenaline to fuel him, but he wanted it because without it, he felt like a zombie.
"Do you get that dopamine rush, when you complete what you set out to do? Does it feel like a reward for you?"
"Not always, that's the bad part." He slumped forward in his chair and leaned his forearms down on his thighs as his back clicked into place. When he didn't get that excitement or that relief at the end of the day, Evan felt like going home and never waking up. What good was the job to him if it didn't give him that boost and that reward or knowing and feeling that he had saved someone?
"So then you keep running into that danger, chasing that high and gratification. What happens on a bad day, Evan? When you're stopped from running into that building or when all your efforts don't work?"
"I drink. I go home, I drown, and I don't wanna get up. I lost someone two days ago on the job and I… fuck, I… I've never felt like that before, but if I had a gun, I might of used it."
Tremors rattled through (Y/n)'s stomach and her arms bound around her chest to stop herself from crying. They weren't really meant to mingle and it was a conflict, her and Evan being in the same therapy group like this. She couldn't afford to give them both away and admit that Evan meant much more to her than a stranger in a weekly meeting.
But how could she stop herself from crying when he'd just admitted the job was killing him?
Being a fireman was his saving grace, it was what Evan wanted to do and he couldn't see himself doing anything else. But losing someone had nearly taken every ounce of him. It wasn't fair. Not when Evan did his level best each and every day and he helped so many people, but now he felt broken.
"Can I ask why it hit you so hard?"
"Because I got them out! I- I had then in my arms, and my efforts did nothing. If my best can't save someone, if it's n-not enough, where does that leave me? So I drink, a lot, and I would of carried on if-" His baby blue eyes welled up with tears and for a split second, he let his eyes linger on (Y/n) before he looked down at his hands and tangled them together. "Uh, if I had more alcohol in the house."
A close save.
Evan would have drank the bottle of whiskey in his apartment and the rest of the beer in the fridge if (Y/n) didn't come over when he asked.
He would of woken up the same way he did when Maddie found him if (Y/n) didn't help him. And he would do it again and again because the drink stopped the panic and the panic fuelled his bad thoughts and turned him on himself.
"Okay. You said before that you binge drink, Evan this is only a suggestion, but I think abstaining from alcohol might be useful. You sound like you're on the path to abusing it and that is a hard path to stray from."
Harold tried to word it as carefully as he could, but he was only saying something that Evan had already been thinking about.
Something that (Y/n) had already talked about.
She didn't want to keep drinking with Evan in case they both got on that abusive path of drinking when their problems worsened. They would end up drinking after every bad shift, drowning the night away and using alcohol to make things better. Then where would they be if they needed a drink to get themselves through a shift at work?
(Y/n) wanted to be Evan's support system and if they were going to help each other, they needed to acknowledge some of their problems.
Alcohol was starting to be a problem for Evan.
He nodded before he bowed his head and hung his hands down between his thighs.
Suddenly, the room felt like it was expanding, like the floor was growing and creating a distance between him and (Y/n). And Evan wanted to run across the room and drop his face into her neck and curl his arms around her waist. He wanted to anchor himself to her, tether his body to hers until he wasn't afraid anymore. Until the night faded away and the day seemed bearable.
Right now, Evan didn't want a drink. He just wanted (Y/n).
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