#any alice by heart stans over here

[strawberryscorp]

i have two wolves inside of me. one of them tells me to draw scorbus and says that i really will do it this time and ive done it before why wont i just do it for the girls and the gays the tumblr fans are starving please babygir and the other makes me paint koi fish

[horizon-verizon]

The fact that so many people think the Starks are honorable anticolonial fighters and the pinnacle of morality is absolutely insane, they literally built a massive wall to isolated a bunch of people they considered as “savages”, they hunted and slaughtered the Free Folk, the Children of the Forest, giants, exterminated whole houses and clans and took their daughters as “prizes” while conquering the North, etc. The Blackwoods were originally from the North and ruled most of the wolfswood, before being driven out by the Starks and forced to flee south. The Starks are the OG COLONIZERS in ASOIAF.

Even this did not give Winterfell dominion over all the North. Many other petty kings remained, ruling over realms great and small, and it would require thousands of years and many more wars before the last of them was conquered. Yet one by one, the Starks subdued them all, and during these struggles, many proud houses and ancient lines were extinguished forever. — The World of Ice and Fire – The North: The Kings of Winter.

I recently finished a Tiktok series that will probably just be as lost to the internet if we lose TikTok but I had to get out in response to a particular creator who bashes Rhaenyra while also proclaiming themselves as black stans. I think they are really more black stans because they hate Alicent personally and feels the thrill of the side-taking, but that's neither here nor there. 😏

To quote one of my mutuals here [rhaenin]:

It just rings so familiar to the way so many people view the other in real life. Because the Targaryens are overtly, and intentionally written as the other. It's the reason so many people identify with them, and it's the very same reason that other people vilify them. They're not just the in-universe other to the 'default' culture established in the text, but they're also given characteristics that we, the reader and audience, can recognize as other and even sometimes anathema to Western Christian culture. To paraphrase the annoying people that love to cite Ramsay when they feel like it: If you look at a morally complex family surrounded by other morally complex families in a morally complex world in a story that's famed for seeking to challenge your underlying assumptions, and think that their association with fire and brimstone is meant to signify their singular satanic evilness, rather than say... challenge that very Eurocentric assumption, you haven't been paying attention. This vilification mindset where the Targaryens are the singular evil of Westeros is so common to people who seem to want to consume ASoIaF without engaging with the criticisms of the Eurocentric worldview of history at the heart of it. And they end up using the convenient “others” to project all the wrongs of that world onto so they don't need to examine it any deeper. ........... It comes from the same place with how someone pointed out that the baffling bastardphobia that would have medieval peasants giving the side eye is so often people jumping at the chance to “cosplay” as bigots who base their arguments in misogyny and bio-essentialism. Because it's an acceptable channel to indulge in that mindset in a way that they'd often otherwise question, or at least hold back from expressing out of caution.

[godofautism]

Welcome to our blog!

We're the Interrobang Sys

Side note: We have an sfw agre blog :D

@godoflittlespace

Read our info here :3 ⬇️

Hi! I'm Eclipse, the host! Here's a list of names you can use for me:

Heart, Mind, Soul, and alternative names (Juno, Icarus, Etc.)

Eclipse

Tricky

Alex

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

List of Juno's partners:

@moonys-chaos, my wife !!! Check her out !!!! /nf

@tallyhoot, my husband! Check them out! /nf

@theinkbunny is just a really fuckin cool dude!!

@be-gentle-with-littluns-2 is my silly qpr partner check them out ^_^ /nf

@unablethethird is my qpr partner x3 check them out !! /nf

I use It/She/They/Xe/He and any neos or any xenos

I'm blankenby / blankgirl (Google it)

I am recipromantic, greysexual, nebularomantic, and ambiamorous

List of alters:

Alice is our littlespace person, She uses She / It / Pup pronouns

Mind is a partial chonny jash Mind / Soul fictive, uses It/Xe/They pronouns

Kris / RJ (Randy Jade) is a partial introject and uses He/They pronouns

We as a collective are sysfluid

Mind is Sysrobotic, Alice is transfemme, and RJ is Demiboy. Mind and Alice are aroace and Kris is omniromantic (masc pref) and Demisexual

Alice is uncomfortable with NSFW topics

Mind is neutral on NSFW topics

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

Dni if you are radfemmes, proshippers, syscourse, comshippers (thin ice if we're friends and I didn't know), dsmp stans, terfs, ai "art", exclusionists, Elon Musk supports, blue lives matter, neo-nazis, and stuff like that. Otherwise, if I don't like you, I'll send you to the shadow realm

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

Ways to contact us:

AnotherCreepyFan - Roblox

TemmieXMemes - Xbox

Pinterest - RealGodofAutism

Phone number can be requested in dms

Do not talk about discord, tumblr, or us being a system when we talk over texting (aka phone number)

If you see me online on roblox, feel free to join!

[baileypie-writes]

Can you do any of the main pretty cure girls x female reader who is a ray of sunshine and has always brighten the girls day, but reader is also a anti magical girl who fights for the bad guys, but when reader sees innocent people or those she cares about getting hurt she helps the main girls

A/N ~ Sure! I hope I interpreted your request correctly. Apologies if I didn’t! Hope you enjoy!

~The Doki Doki Pretty Cure with a Sunshine Villain Friend~

~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~

Fandom: Doki Doki! Precure

Fanfic Type: Headcanons

Reader: Gender neutral, evil to good

Relationship: Platonic

Characters Included: Mana Aida/Cure Heart, Rikka Hishikawa/Cure Diamond, Alice Yotsuba/Cure Rosetta, Makoto Kenzaki/Cure Sword, Aguri Madoka/Cure Ace

Genre: Mostly fluff, minor angst

Rating: PG

Warnings: Makoto’s section is the most angsty, possibly OOC Aguri

~Masterlists~

~Doki Doki! Precure Masterlist~

Guide: Each character’s dialogue is their signature color, and Reader’s dialogue is uncolored.

‼️Glitter Force stans DNI‼️

~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~

~Mana Aida/Cure Heart~

~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~

~ Mana always sees the best in everyone, even the most cruel. So when she finds out you’re on the side of the Selfish, she still continues to be your friend. When in your company, she tries to keep the whole Pretty Cure thing out of conversation to reduce the risk of any drama. But of course, she still intends to bring you to the good side.

“Hey (name)! We’re all going to the mall. Wanna come?”

“You’re inviting me? Even though I’m-“

“Oh please! Don’t worry about that. We’re still friends! Now c’mon, let’s go!”

~ In her mind, someone as kind and caring as you can’t be all that bad. So she constantly tries to use that as an attempt to help you turn good. She’ll talk about how good it feels to be nice, and how if you wanted to, you could choose to do so all the time.

“Wow, that was a close one! It was so nice of you to save that child from the Jikochuu!

“I had to. They had nothing to do with this.”

“I knew you’re not all bad!”

“Oh Mana…”

~ She treats you the nearly same way as she treats Regina. Meaning she includes you in as many adventures as she can, and always tries to defend you when the others get mad at your label as a Selfish. In fact, she treat you even better than Regina, because you’re much kinder than her, so there’s more to work with.

“Why are you inviting (name), Mana? They’re a Selfish. They don’t belong here.”

“Aw, c’mon. Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? After all, they’re still a great friend!”

“How great can they be if they’re one of the people who helped take over the Trump Kingdom?”

“Makopi, please have some compassion! I’m sure they did it because they never knew about being good! They were only doing what they were told. I’m sure if we let them, they can switch sides!”

~ It always makes Cure Heart’s day when you help out in battles. It makes her so happy how you go out of your way to fight against your own side when innocent people’s lives are in danger. It gives her even more hope that you can be reformed, and more determination to help you.

“Cure Heart, look out!”

“Woah, that was close! You saved me, thanks! Hey, don’t you think you’d make a good Pretty Cure? You’re so caring, I think you’d be a natural!”

“Not a chance.”

~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~

~Rikka Hishikawa/Cure Diamond~

~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~

~ When she first met you, Rikka tried her hardest not to be your friend. She thought it would be easy, considering you were evil. However, when someone who’s a walking ray of sunshine comes into your life, it’s hard to warm up to them.

“Hey guy! I brought cookies!”

“They’re not poisoned, are they?”

“What? No? Why on earth would they be?”

“Because you’re evil?”

“Yeah, but I’m not a monster! Just try one!”

“Hmm… these are actually pretty good.”

~ She would’ve preferred not to see you, to avoid conflicting feelings. But of course, Mana couldn’t care less. She tried talking some sense into her, trying to get her to understand that you were evil, but to no avail. Knowing Mana’s tendency to not give up seeing the good in people, she just learned to bear with your presence. Although, she can’t help but enjoy it when it’s so nice.

“Hey guys! Look who’s here!”

“Who?”

“Hello!”

“Oh. Hey (name)…”

“Ha! You’re smiling! That means you’re happy to see me!”

“No!…”

~ Sometimes, she forgets that you’re on the bad side, and finds herself being friendly with you. She hates to admit it, but she thinks you’re fun to be around. But of course, once her memory comes back, a pit of guilt in her stomach makes her distance herself from you once again.

“Hey, I know that book! It’s really good!”

“Really, you like it?”

“Yeah! The twist at the end is so good! Oh, sorry! I don’t wanna spoil.”

“Haha, it’s okay. I’ve actually already read this a few times. I really like it too.”

“Rikka! A Jikochuu is nearby!”

“Aaand that’s my queue to leave!”

“Oh… yeah…”

~ Conflicting feelings once again find themselves in Cure Diamond’s mind whenever you choose to help them out with fighting Jikochuus. She knows she should dislike you for being a Selfish, but she can’t help but remember Mana’s way of thinking. Afterwards, her demeanor towards you alters a bit. She continues being friendly to you, but when it comes to Pretty Cure stuff, she never lets that get in the way of saving the Trump Kingdom.

“Hey (name).”

“Hey Rikka! Wow, you’re actually talking to me first?”

“Haha, yeah. I just wanted to say that it was really cool of you to save Mana like that.”

“Oh, it was nothing. I just didn’t want my friend to get hurt. You know I’d do the same for you, right?”

“Yeah… I do.”

~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~

~Alice Yotsuba/Cure Rosetta~

~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~

~ Alice just went along with whatever Mana did. So when Mana decided to be your friend, so did she. She didn’t really care much about you being a selfish, just as long as you weren’t purposely hanging out with them to target them. But you weren’t, so she treats you with the utmost kindness and hospitality.

*Alice’s car pulls up next to you*

“Good day, (name). The girls and I are having a tea party later today. You’re welcome to attend if you’d like.”

“Wow, really? That sounds like fun! I’d love to!”

“Wonderful. Would you like to ride in the car with me, or would you rather teleport.”

“Eh, teleporting’s too boring. Besides, I’ve never ridden in a car before!”

~ While she trusts you, she still keeps tabs on you, just to be safe. She has security cameras everywhere, so there’s no avoiding her watchful eyes. It’s not a secret either. Just ask, and she’ll admit it.

“How was Makoto’s concert, (name)?”

“Great! Wait, how did you know I was there?”

“My family owns the security cameras in the building she performed in.”

“So… you were spying on me.”

“(name), I’m aware of everything that happens around the city.”

“Oh…”

~ Anytime a potential fight or argument threatens to break out due to you being a Selfish, Alice quickly and calmly stops it before it can happen. She prefers to keep your “job” something only to be talked about during Pretty Cure related things.

“Why is the Selfish here?”

“Because they’re our friend.”

“They’re no friend of mine.”

“Please, Aguri. Let’s not argue. Just enjoy the party; something unrelated to our jobs.”

~ The main reason Cure Rosetta treats you as a friend is because of your kindness. She knows that if you were truly evil, your kindness wouldn’t even be a fraction of what it is. So she believes that it’s not worth it to hate you. Over time, her thoughts are only proven more true as you continue to help them out during battles. Any true villain couldn’t care less about people they know getting hurt, never mind innocent bystanders.

“I can’t believe (name) still has the nerve to show their face. Especially after all they’ve done.”

“Makoto, isn’t (name) a big supporter of yours?”

“Well, yeah. But that doesn’t matter.”

“I beg to differ. If they were truly so bad, don’t you think they wouldn’t be listening to your music?”

“Hmph…”

~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~

~Makoto Kenzaki/Cure Sword~

~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~

~ Makoto made no effort whatsoever to be your friend. She refused to talk to you as much as possible, not wanting to interact with one of the people responsible for the taking over of her home. Convinced it was all an act, she despised you for even having the nerve to be so friendly with the others.

“How’s your day been, Makoto?”

“It was fine until you showed up. And don’t call me that. If you want to refer to me, call me Kenzaki.”

“Woah, no need to be so cold!”

“I have every right to be cold.”

~ Anytime you showed your presence, her attitude immediately shifted to a grumpy one. She did not want you around, and she didn’t even try to hide it. She made many attempts to get the others to stop hanging out with you, but none were successful. If only Mana weren’t so keen on seeing the good in people.

“Hey Makopi! Look who’s coming to the mall with us!”

“Oh, it’s them. I’m second thought, maybe I won’t go.”

“Aww, c’mon Makoto! It’ll be fun!”

“I told you, call me Kenzaki. We’re not friends, and never will be.”

~ Eventually, against her will, Makoto seemed to begin warming up to you. It started when she found out you were a fan of hers. She found it annoying at first, and would give you signed merchandise to get you to leave her alone. But over time, she would find herself anticipating your interactions with her. But of course, she’d never admit it.

“We needed to get rid of some extra stock, so here’s a CD of some of my older songs. I already signed it.”

“Oh my gosh, no way! You’re the best, Makoto! Thank you!”

“I’ve told you many times before, call me Ken- You know what? Never mind.”

~ It confused her a lot when you’d help them out. You cared way too much for the innocent and those you considered friends, even though you were supposed to be harming them. The one thing it took for her to finally trust you was you saving her. Since then, she no longer treated you with disgust and hatred. Instead, she greeted you with soft, barely noticeable smiles. She even talks to you, and laughs at your jokes.

“Why did you save me?”

“Because you’re my friend, Makoto.”

“No I’m not.”

“To me, you are. Even if it’s one-sided, I still care about you. But I don’t think it’s one-sided. After all, you let me call you by your first name now!”

“*sigh* You know, I tried my best to hate you. But you just keep making it harder. I don’t even think I still do at this point.”

~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~

~Aguri Madoka/Cure Ace~

~~~💄~~~💄~~~💄~~~

~ Like Makoto, Aguri also refused to be your friend at first. But her dislike for you didn’t come from a personal level, but from a respect for her kingdom. She feels as though it’s simply irresponsible and downright offensive to the Trump Kingdom for her to even consider being friendly with you.

“Wanna go hang out at Alice’s house, Aguri?”

“Will the Selfish be there?”

“You mean (name)? Yeah, why?”

“Then I’ll have to pass. Sorry.”

~ But unlike Makoto, her feelings are much more easily swayed. Of course, she’s still very stubborn. But she knows she’s growing to like you. And besides, she doesn’t show her love for her other friends that much either. For you specifically though, she’s much more cold.

“Hello Selfish.”

“Oh, hi Aguri! Wow, you’re actually talking to me!”

“Hm, yeah. But that doesn’t mean I like you.”

“Haha, I’m not convinced.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

~ She carefully and closely studied your relationship with the others, and took note of how caring you are when it comes to their safety. She also took into account how you also care for the safety of random bystanders. This was what really pushed her to finally trust you.

“Selfish, why do you go out of your way to help others? You’re supposed to be evil.”

“Well, because I care about them. The bystanders have nothing to do with what’s going on. And, of course, you all are my friends. So why wouldn’t I save you?”

“But you’re not supposed to care.”

“Then I guess that’s what makes me special!”

~ After a while, she finally allowed herself to bond with you. You finally earned yourself the right for her to talk to you, to which nobody ever thought would happen. She even considers the two of you to be friends. Though, of course, she’d never say it out loud. But don’t take it personally. However, when it comes to the sake of her kingdom, don’t expect her to spare you.

“Can you pass me the cake (name)?”

“Sure! Wait, you didn’t call me ‘Selfish’! You actually said my name!”

“Yeah, yeah. Just gimme the cake.”

~~~💄~~~💄~~~💄~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[flowerslut]

😂☀️🏅

What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

this is such a tough one, but half of @volturialice’s comments on call of the night made me laugh so hard that I befriended and then hung out with her. and fast forward five years she has clowned her way into my heart ~irrevocably~ 🥰❤️

honorable mentions go to these specific ones (top one belongs to my wife ofc)

and I wish I could find the tumblr ask that says “thanks for the stories my therapist will know your name” because that one takes the cake.

Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

ALL THE TIME ARE YOU JOKING??? most recently I’ve been getting a lot of comments from people telling me about how my version of maria in roots is turning them into maria stans, and every time that happens I twirl my hair and kick my feet like a lovesick idiot 🤩

also a lot of people have left comments on call of the night (and walk in the dark) to tell me about how they binge-read it over a day or two and those are always my favorite because it means I derailed someone’s sleep schedule for at least one night and that delights me every time. but here’s a pair of comments I think of regularly:

because it 1000% summed up the way I wanted everyone to feel during the climax of cotn’ and to see that I stuck the landing? sublime. nothing will ever feel as good as seeing these as the first two comments after I posted that chapter 🥰

What is the fic you’re most proud of?

this is suchhhhhh a hard one so I’m gonna be a cheating little cheat and answer it in three parts. because my personal favorite fic of mine (not the best, per se, but my number 1) is north star. tbh, that fic should have been much trickier to write (empath alice and psychic jasper? how do you even attempt to successfully jam that into canon!verse?) so i’m very proud of myself for cranking it out over the time span that I did. that was the first fic I ever gave to my wife to look-over and make lil edits to, which is something that I had never once done before with any of my writing EVER.

then or course you’ve got call of the night, and just about everyone has heard the story about that fic, but I really am soooo proud of myself for finishing it! 16/17 year old baby shan would have been sooooo happy to know that it was lovingly completed (technically speaking) in my 20s!

but I think I have to nominate roots for ‘fic i’m most proud of’ just due to the sheer size of this project. and maybe it’s that Current Fic Bias talking (since it’s the only fic of mine being updated/worked on rn) but I really did daydream, outline, and draft an entire 200k word fic with multiple alternating povs and so many moving parts that my even readers are making timelines to make sure they don’t miss anything. that’s so cool for me! that’s so fun! roots has swamped my brain for a year and a half, I’ve put my whole pussy into it, and not to sound like a broken record but shoutout to my wife @volturialice for basically being my editor. the fact that she hasn’t killed me for not knowing the difference between “its” and “it’s” or divorced me for my fixation on unnecessary scene blocking isssss miraculous 🥴

send me more fanfic asks

[heyyoupikaboo]

Welcome 2 My Blog

oh hi. if u don't know who i am, my name's gracie. but you can also call me pikabelle. i'm a teenage female who has never heard of the term cringe. why? bc cringe culture is (mostly) dead to me.

im also reeeaaaaalllly into pokemon. like reaaallllyyy into it. my top three are aggron, tyrantrum, and zweilous. i also really like 2003 strawberry shortcake and mlp fim.

like my music taste? here it is:

Breaking Benjamin

KoRn

System of a Down

Slipknot

Rob Zombie

Eminem (older)

Hollywood Undead

Evanescence

Disturbed

The Pharcyde

Attila

Schoolly D

MC Chris

Rain Paris

Ozzy Osbourne

Metallica

Old Run-D.M.C

A lot of vgm

Motionless in White

Tag Team

Johnathan Young

Katy Perry (before Witness)

Weird Al Yankovic

likes: pizza, metal, old school hip-hop, playing the piano, pokemon, horror movies, the transformers movies (the soundtrack specifically), dark fiction, bacon, sausages, burgers, french fries, cringy 2000s and 90s stuff, dark/offensive humor, freaktale (thanks to @sharks-freakshow-aus), pokemon the series s&m, chinese food, authentic mexican food, sushi, seafood (especially crab), american mcgee's alice (and madness returns), partying, the 90s addams family

dislikes: boy bands, overtly colorful video games, bad puns, romcoms, nicki minaj, cardi b, glitchtale, eggs (on their own), people who take themselves way too seriously, taco bell, harry styles, lizzo, katy perry (witness - onwards), jehovah's witnesses, bible thumpers, taylor swift (i prefer her country over her pop), radfems, libfems, bts stans, ea

any mental disorders? i have autism but i'm more on the asperger's side

anyways here are some rules:

my profile my shit. if you don't like what i post kindly reply ur heart out

if i catch you glorifying my autism or tracing my ocs i WILL track you down.

don't message me annoyingly saying how you wanna be my friend. that's not how making friends work.

death threats and hate art are strictly off-limits and forbidden.

i dont accept random requests. pls use the ask button if you wanna request.

i don't mind fanart as long as you credit me.

anyway's that's it 4 now

do yall not know im a metalhead?

[tyonfs]

lol is this a lil late n embarrassing buttt the road trip i was on was to houston and i visited an old friend that i reconnected with and honestly it was really refreshing. it made me and my mom really consider not moving away so 🤗im not moving! im staying in texas for the time being until i graduate then its off to grad school so two more years 🫡

that was the important news now to the bad news. my best friend recently got a boyfriend which is great good for her, i’m happy for her. but everytime she gets a bf she like.. flaunts him in front of me because she’s aware i’ve had my fair share of hookups and situationships and im ngl.. at some point i was a player! like she knows this and she’s always like bragging and it just makes me so uncomfortable. on top of that recently i’ve reconnected with a childhood friend that i didn’t know went to my school and you know it’s really great, her group of friends are amazing and they’re so sweet. because of that my best friend gets jealous of me hanging out with these girls like 😭😭 ?? it’s not high school girl..? it’s fucking college and if you want to act a certain way around me and hang out with people who talk shit about me then so be it!

recently i’ve been really bored so i did what any girl did and hopped back on hinge. tell me why some guy from HIGHSCHOOL hit me up and tried getting with me just to find out he has a gf like girl ?? 😭 get ur priorities straight speaking of men my friends are trying to set me up with this guy and make him my date to their sororities formal 😭😭. you know he is so fine and he’s my type 🙈 maybeeee

i feel like mentally im doing a lot better than i was in january, physically too like im just breezing living my life. again not that into kpop anymore lol i just haven’t listened to the music in like over 4 months i find that scary. i did read some fics last night tho, do not regret it one bit 🤗

how are you alice, any updates on that guy you said you were sorta taking to, that sounded exciting! how was your valentine’s day lovely! - 🎀

OMG YAY THATS SO NICE THAT YOU'RE NOT MOVING (i think this is a good thing right??) but shoutout to that friend you reconnected with for changing your mom's mind :') and here's to not having to pack Everything and take it to another house 🥳

oh that friend of yours..... :/ that's so icky of her ngl like yes let's be happy about the new relationship but no need to bring other ppl down bc of it !! and honestly .... i've met plenty of guys who have had plenty of hookups and situationships themselves but people only make a big deal out of it when a girl is that way :( don't think it's weird at all for a woman to know that she doesn't want to commit just yet like that's just you putting yourself first !! omg PLS her being mad about you hanging out with other friends gave me chilling high school flashbacks 😐 she does NOT get to be mad if she hangs out with people who talk shit about you like what?? (looking forward to karma coming her way cause!!)

WHYS HE ON HINGE WHEN HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND I HATEEE MEN OMG 😭 also i hope we get an update on this sorority formal guy 🤭 im glad you've been doing better now tho !! honestly i haven't been reading kpop fics (more in the hogwarts brainrot rn 😵‍💫) but it's so nostalgic sometimes even if you're not stanning groups atm

omg i self sabotaged 🏃‍♂️ focusing on myself!!! (i am terrified of commitment) but also this guy i Used to have a thing with hit me up a while ago (after literally leaving a store that we were both in after we locked eyes) and said he wants me back 💀 i was like LOL no and got back to my silly little pokemon game <3 also valentine's day was with the girls this year 🥰 it was really nice!! i also bought this cute heart-shaped top that i will be wearing exclusively for valentines >:)) how about you??

[heartysworld]

My dragoness || Harwin Strong x Reader

A/N: Welp,here I am once again. Seems like anesthesia gives people inspiration to write more. I literally wrote this in like an hour (which is amazing). Here is more food for the hungry and thirsty Harwin Strong stans! Send more Harwin requests babes! <3

MASTERLIST

Your marriage out of pure love for the man you loved was one of the few to ever occur in House Targaryen. You had met Ser Harwin Strong years ago when the man had joined the City Watch led by your uncle. With months and days passing your eyes sought for him more and more often,and so did his. The flower of love had blossomed between the two of you after he invited you to be his dance partner during one of the many feasts thrown in the Palace. Soon after, Harwin had spoken to his father, leading to your father's approval of your courtship.

People in Court were absolutely smitten with the younger princess and the man who had won her heart over the years. Half a year later your wedding happened, making you officially Harwin Strong's wife, putting a start to your shared life together.

It was early in the morning years later when the wails of an infant echoed around the walls of the Red Keep. The younger princess had just given birtht to hers and her husband's, Harwin Strong, second child who was yet to be named. The small babe squirmed around in his mother's arms while the Maester and his apprentices took care of the afterbirth process. Meanwhile, her beloved had just entered the chambers where the two resided, a giant smile evident on the man's face.

"My love." Harwin said, earning your attention, moving it away from your son. Your returned his smile,all the tiredness and pain being replaced by love and adoration. "It is a boy, I had just been told." Your husband said while he walked towards your bedside.

One look at his child was enough for the Strong man to feel like a child himself who had just seen the most beautiful thing ever.

"A healthy son." You said, adding to his words. He leaned in closer to your, placing his hand on your sweaty cheek before kissing your lips. No words needed at this moment. Your oldest, Vaenys, was currently at Dragonstone, visiting his aunt and cousins, something he has been wishing to do for months now.

"You are a soldier,my love. I can't be more proud of my wife." Harwin said as he held one of your hands that circled your son's small body.

With the day of your labors nearing, knowing what was about to occur once again after the birth,you and Harwin decided it would be best to grant Vaenys his dear wish.

Ever since the birth of your oldest nephew, Jacaerys, the Queen has developed the obsession of wishing to see the child mere hours after it was born in desperate attempts to try and accuse any of the two sisters in being unfaithful and bearing illegitimate children. You had no idea what was happening in your sister's life after she married Ser Laenor Velaryon and fled to Dragonstone, but you knew their marriage wasn't a traditional one. Your brother-in-law had his preferences and your sister had hers.

The cup started to get fuller when your first son was born. Alicent, from the moment she saw the babe and his head full of dark hair, declared the Strong boy illegitimate. Ever since, whispers had been going around court, speculating the paternity of your son.

"No true Targaryen has ever been born with hair different than silver, Your Grace!" Were Alicent's words. "The Targaryen blood runs thick, this boy has black hair!"

Your father was the one who stood by your side, dismissing all the rumors.

Your children were pure and innocent, an evidence for your and your husband's love for each other. Sadly, the moment of the birth that was supposed to be happy was quickly ruined by the Queen's lady in waiting.

Harwin laid on the bed next to you, holding your son and peppering his small face with kisses when the woman dressed in crimson colors entered the room. Her head stood low as she spoke.

"The Queen wishes to see the child." With that the young woman left, the happiness your son had brought you now replaced by anger and resentment.

"I am so tired of this." You said as you slowly stood up from the bed, quiet whimpers of discomfort and pain escaping your mouth, the damages by the birth still affecting your sore and tired body.

"Let me come with you." Harwin said as he came by your side,babe in his arms. You nodded before speaking once again:

"Give him to me." You said, outstretching your arms towards your husband.

"Let me hold him,you are exhausted enough." Harwin said. His words made your heart feel warm, seeing how caring and loving he was.

"No,she won't get much satisfaction out of that. Give him to me." You said once again. Letting out a sight, he handed your son to you. Slowly the three of you walked towards your father's chambers where he and his wife expected you.

With moans of pain you climbed all the stairs to the royal chambers, the little body that you held now wiggling around being fussy as if he could sense the tension his parents held.

"Y/N, before we enter,look at me." Harwin said, pulling you to a stop. His free hand that wasn't supporting your body went under you chin, making you look at him.

Before you could say anything his lips on your interrupted you.

"Whatever is about to be said inside,know, that I love you and our children endlessly. They are mine,I am their father, no one could challenge that. The Queen's words are the results of her fear for her own children and hatred towards ours, the ones who also have a claim. Do not let her get to you, you're a dragoness,my dragoness, our son claimed a dragon,hers couldn't." Your husband's words filled your body with fresh confidence.

"I love you so much, thank you for this,for all this." You said, pecking his cheek softly.

The big wooden doors opened, reveling your father who sat on a chair in front of his granite figurines and his wife who was pacing around the room. It seemed Alicent was awaiting you impatiently.

"Ah, my daughter, Ser Harwin!" Your father exclaimed as he saw you, standing up from his seat.

Viserys stoos in front of you, kissing your cheeks before hugging your husband. Your father's eyes then fell on his now fifth grandchild that cooed in his mother's arms.

"A son or a daughter?" He asked, looking at your husband,pulling down the blanket that covered the babe's small head.

"A son, Your Grace, another strong boy in the family." Harwin said with a proud smile,one of his hands circling your waist, pulling your softly to his body, pressing another loving kiss to your hair.

The King let out a happy laugh as he leaned he had another healthy grandson to celebrate, the view of his daughter and her husband making him even happier.

"How delightful! A feast shall be thrown in the little one's honor as soon as my daughter is well enough to attend alongside her husband and my two grandsons!" Your father exclaimed. His excitement didn't please his wife very much,as he was next to speak as soon as he was finished.

"And may I asked, Princess, what is the babe's hair? A Targaryen silver, may I presume?" Alicent asked, her voice laced with venom as her eyes lingered over the blanked that hid your son away from her sight.

" A Strong's raven, my queen. It runs in my side of the family." You husband was quick to deliver an answer, making a small smirk to appear on your face as you started at your son, your head lowered.

"Ah, of course." Your father said, earning all the attention in the room." The infamous question. I know of my wife's prejudice regarding my grandson's appearance, that is why I called the Grand Maester on my own record, asking for him to bring along the book of all the great houses and their heritage." Viserys said.

His words were followed by another presence in the room. Maester Mellos held the book in question in his hand, standing by the door waiting for permission to enter.

"What can you tell us of the current situation, Grand Maester? Please come in." Your father invited the old man inside.

Maester Mellos headed for the table in the middle of the room. Placing the ancient book over it, he opened it, turning its pages looking for the answer.

"The Targaryen blood does run think,Your Grace." The old man started,now looking over your family tree and all it's descendants. Every person bkrn in House Targaryen carried the signature silver hair, without any exception. "But the seed does run strong, my King." He added.

You never imagined to feel more relieved and confident than you felt after hearing this.

"The father is the one responsible for the gender of the child, the mother is the one who carries it for nine moons and has the task to bring it to the world safe."

The words made the tension disappear from your body,replaced by pure happiness.

" I, myself, never questioned that, Grand Maester. Thank you for your time and knowledge,you may go now." Your father said, dismissing the older man.

All that had happened, however, wasn't very pleasant for your body. Just as your father was about to speak to his wife, angered with her words and suspicions towards his daughter your voice echoed around the room,one of pain and discomfort. Thankfully,your husband was by your side, keeping you standing and your son safe in your arms as you panted.

"Let her lay down! Send once again for the Maester!" Your father said. "Look at what you have done with all the filth your spilled!" He shouted at his wife.

"It hurts, Harwin, it hurts badly." You sobbed,now laying on the bed in the King's chambers. Your newborn's son's wails could be heard in the distance as a wet nurse carried him away to be fed and put to sleep.

"I know,my love, I myself took a lance through the shoulder once." Harwin said, trying to ease the tension.

"It is not time to be sarcastic, husband!" You yelled, punching his shoulder. However,his remark did make you laugh before pain hit you once again.

"You'll be fine, we'll be fine, know this." He said as he held you in his arms.

The Maester arrived not long after. Apparently all the physical activity that occured after the birth had caused bleeding inside you that now needs lots of rest to properly heal. Your father's wrath went around the entire castle, falling on the Queen herself for being the one responsible for this.

With years passing your sons grew up to be just like their father. There wasn't a trace of his that Harwin Strong had not passed down to his children. He taught them how to fight,how to be an honorable man,while you, their mother, made them dragonriders. The Strong boys may carry their father's traces and minds, but they also carried the Targaryen blood and nobody could ever challenge that.

Taglist

@ccallistata @social-life-does-not-exsists @kiribrima @westsidelegendary @vaf24

@edum123 @kittycatcait219 @nataliarosana60 @scarletraine @strawbbyjamb @rosey1981 @dunkle-mondseite @anaisbambia @yourswitchling @misskatiewrites @sprikadirkkirk @barnesfilms @beelanie

@fairyfolkoresposts @multifndom @nerdy4itall @simpforfictionalchatactersstuff @drmeghanjones @eudximoniakr @percypup

@idkjj04 @simpforoldermans @tarrgaryenss @direluvr @ana1ise

[nightcolorz]

Random Gotham Rogues Headcanons

(In honor of all the wonderful people who wanted more after my last post, yes I see y’all)

*Jonathan has a huge sweet tooth, the poor bastard didn’t try sugar until he was like 12 and eats candy like it’s his last meal.

*He’ll forget he needs food to live for way too long and eat a gallon of ice cream or some shit that’ll give any sensible man heart palpitations and just be like “😐👍”.

*Selina tells the newer rogues she was raised by cats to freak them out, Jervis still believes her. (Tbf, Selina does walk around with a cat tail on hissing at people and purring on their laps, I don’t blame him).

*Edward has a tiktok account that he made to fule his own ego, he’s a fragile little shit, literally all of his hate comments have video responses (as you can imagine, Edward gets A LOT of hate comments).

*One time a teenager called Edward “submissive and breedable” and he was too baffled to make a clap back.

*The Rogues have a surprising amount of stans. Ivy’s fan base consists mostly of lowly simps, Joker gets stopped on the street daily by greasy redditors and zealous scene kids.

*No one likes Joker, he thinks it’s because he’s “Batman’s favorite” (it’s not).

*For a while Joker has been insistent that he fucked Bruce Wayne once at one of his many parties, no one believes him except for Harvey (begrudgingly).

*He says it’s “Perfectly in character for Bruce” as much as he may hate it.

*Selina denies everything.

*Oswald and Jonathan share solidarity as “the weird bird people”. At first Oswald was a little put off that Jonathan only held knowledge of crows but soon got over that when he realized that now he had an excuse to infodump on someone who might actually be interested.

*Every time Jonathan visits Oswald’s aviary to pick up Nightmare and Craw Oswald jumps at the opportunity to talk about his numerous birds in excess, Jonathan’s a surprisingly good listener.

*Despite Edward and Joker’s long term rivalry Edward has remained relatively civil when faced with Joker’s constant egging on. That is until one iconic day in Arkham Asylum when Edward beat the absolute, ever loving shit out of Joker in the cafeteria. To this day no one knows what exactly got him to snap, not even Joker.

*Harley keeps a scrapbook about all her misadventures + friendships as a rogue, she has a habit of taking pictures of the others at the most inappropriate times (during a heist, while being beaten to a crisp by Batman, ex).

*One time Harley asked Batman to pose for a picture to put in her scrapbook, he obliged to everyone’s surprise.

*Edward is wholly insistent that he doesn’t belong in Arkham, and is convinced he’s completely sane. He’s weirdly obsessed with the fact that Oswald is sane “as well” and will make unprompted snide remarks like: “Blackgate sounds terrific, unfortunately I’ve been misplaced among MORONS, it’s a shame that the system is too incompetent to properly judge my un-categorizable psyche.”

*Oswald usually responds with a simple “🙂👍” or “ok” to avoid conflict, disagreeing with Edward could be catastrophic.

*Art therapy is an occupational hazard for all the Arkham staff. (Seriously, who thought giving super villains an outlet to express themselves was a good idea).

*Edward can’t draw so he spends his time harshly criticizing the other rogues art, that’s caused more than a few fights. The one time Edward’s ever actually done art in art therapy was when he drew a green triangle and explained in complex detail how he colored it to perfection.

*Jonathan is no longer allowed to share his art with the group before having it reviewed by a staff member after emotionally scarring a few patients. He’s one of the few rogues who presents his art every time, just to see the disturbed looks on the others faces when he explains whatever twisted art piece he came up with this time.

*Jervis is probably the most dedicated artist of the bunch, he‘s not allowed to make himself any hats (for obvious reasons) but he’s still a very skilled seamstress and has a very interesting art style (Jervis tries not to draw anything explicitly linked to Alice in Wonderland in fear of getting repercussions, as rogues often do when they engage with their ‘personas’).

*Harvey isn’t very technically skilled in drawing, but Harv usually spices their art up enough to make it interesting. Their drawings are always two themed, as expected. One time Edward criticized a painting of theirs for being “too unrealistic” and Harv had to manually restrain himself from kicking Edward in the teeth.

*Victor can’t draw either, but he writes pretty good poetry. His writing is excessively melodramatic and flowery, and his themes even more so. Half of the presentation period is spent listening to Victor muse about the meaning of life or some shit, his poems are VERY long.

*Waylon and Ivy are the obligatory pretentious painters, both have a fondness for flowers (for very separate reasons). The two will often compare their paintings and wax poetics about the beauty of nature or some bullshit before never speaking again. That’s one of the positives of Art therapy, it brings rogues together who would otherwise not grant each other a passing glance.

*Group therapy is just as (if not more) atrocious than Art therapy.

*The only one who ever talks is Joker (and sometimes Harley, but way less).

*Joker is the embodiment of an irl troll, he does a much better job at getting responses from the other rogues in therapy than the therapists ever could (usually hostile responses but still).

*Occasionally a new and bright eyed therapist will try and coax childhood memories out of the rogues, it never ends well (usually with the rogue or the therapist in hysterics).

*The majority of the Arkham staff are either terribly unqualified or terrible period.

*Music Meister lived with Edward for a short while after escaping Arkham together but he was promptly kicked out because he wouldn’t stop singing.

*Selina and Ivy had a huge argument once because Selina’s cats nibbled on Ivy’s plants.

Okay this post is all ready super long so I’m gonna end it here, as I said last time I can always make more if you guys like these (I’m not running out of headcanons anytime soon!)

[eclipsingmidnight]

María Rant (Continued)

I’ve been thinking about that post I previously reblogged and commented on, made by @fuckmeyer and I just wanna add some more points and frustrations that I’ve been thinking of since then.

No, María didn’t “abuse” Jasper.

No, she didn’t “warp his perception of love”

No, she didn’t “HuRt HiM”

No, she didn’t “damage his psyche”

No, she didn’t do any of the shit you white Jasper/Jalice stans constantly yap about her.

Jasper was just a dumbass who easily follows anything because he’s weak and can’t stand on his own.

Look at how easily he followed racist manipulative ass Alice and the Colonizng Cullens. Look at how easily he followed and joined the Fucking Confederate Army.

María didn’t do shit to him or his mind that he hadn’t already done to and/or already possessed the mindset of himself.

She is just a cop out so he never has to take responsibility for what he’s done. He wasn’t abused or manipulated. María barely did shit to him because she actually liked him and saw potential in him, he was literally favored in her eyes. She also let him leave as he pleased. What “evil” “manipulative” “abusive” person just let’s their “victim” leave?? He is not a victim. His grown emotionally manipulating ass was just a dumbass that doesn’t think twice and follows everything blindly.

He’s literally a follower. Like I said he’s also manipulative and violent himself. Let’s not forget how he’s still proud of being a confederate soldier to this day and is still racist and violent. People exactly like him love blaming other people for their own fucked up selves. So excuse me if I don’t believe the whole “sad boi” act he played that resulted in a whole smear campaign against María. He was even like that Before he met María, and it’s been how long since he’s been away and he still hasn’t changed...

Also if he was really that damaged by María and “hates her so much now” then he would NOT be as chill with her as he is to this day and would NOT be sending her well wishes nor would he be thinking of contacting her Ever. The man still has a thing for her yet y’all paint María as the one that “Can’t Get Over Him!!”

Let’s also not forget how tight they were when they were together. They worked extremely well together and got shit done and they seemed fine until Jasper started getting bored, and heart broken. He was obsessed with her, he worshiped her and he loved her but was upset because although she was fond of him and had some feelings for him she couldn’t completely give her all to him due to her own problems and trauma. Now things are suddenly different just because he left.. now everything that ever happened between them was all 100% horrible just because they broke up.. Ok

lmao this is the exact same man who, to this day, still acts the same and is being forced to be someone he’s not, he’s co-dependent on someone else for his happiness and damn near everything, he can’t stand on his own and has zero faith in himself anymore, is constantly watched, treated and reprimanded like a dog whenever he so much as acts even an inch of himself.. but he’s happy.. lol. Yeah he’s happy because he gets to live the good life of being racist and acting like he’s above people again. He’s literally no better at all, he is literally just as bad and is with the same exact people y’all claim María to be.

But no, of course all the blame for Jasper just being a fucked up person is solely placed on the woman, and she’s so evil because she “WaRpeD HiS PeRcePtiOn oF LoVe!” and “IsN’t a GoOd RoMaNtiC PaRtNeR In AnY WaY!”... and I’ve seen these exact words used not only from haters but also people who claim to like her. They’re just showing their ass because they never say this same shit about characters they actually like who are the same way. This tells me that some of y’all only “like” her because other people are starting to realize she wasn’t that evil and are calling y’all out on your double standards and racism so you wanna save face but yet you still talk about and think of her as the “Evil Bitch Villain” who hurt poor baby Jasper and is “lesser than” Cliche White Savior Alice.

Some of y’all only say you “like” María because she serves as the “evil other woman” plot point for your shitty Jalice fics because you get off on making them look like they’re above her and So In Love (with their co-dependent ass relationShit) because you have no actual original writing talent to give them anything else but boring, cold ass, stale, overdone, mysoginistic, racist tropes, and then have to Nerve to think of and call that tripe “María content” when it’s nothing but the same racist stereotypical bullshit y’all BEEN giving her on the rare instances when she’s actually acknowledged and not ignored.

Y’all only think of her in comparison to Alice, Jasper or both and always bring them up whenever it’s supposed to JUST be about María. As if those two don’t get the most attention literally Everywhere Else. Y’all literally can’t let María have anything. Y’all can’t let people talk about Just María without bringing them up and y’all damn for sure can’t let anyone talk about María and her relationship with Jasper without bringing up Alice when she’s not the focus at all. Y’all are so threatened and it shows. Y’all literally just can’t Let María Have Anything without comparing her to Alice/Jalice in some way... As if Mr. and Mrs. Confederate could ever compare to or even touch María in anything lmao.

Let’s also not forget how easily y’all forget and forgive Jasper for being a whole ass Confederate Soldier but will never leave María alone for “MaNiPuLaTiNg JaSpEr!”

Y’all really making hc’s out here about Jasper and any pack member as if he wasn’t a whole ass confederate that’s still proud of it to this day... But let anybody so much as say anything nice about María, they don’t even have to make any hcs about her and anyone else, all they have to do is say they simply like her and it’s “ACsHuALLy ShE AbUsEd JaSpEr SOoO!!!!” Like, I love selective ass people. Everything Jasper did is okay and it’s always Maria’s fault for anything wrong with him but when María actually has valid ass reasons for why she was what she was and what she was forced to do none of that matters and she’s just inherently evil.. and yet.. y’all stan people who are the same way that you hate on her for and act like they’re inherently angels...

Make It Make Sense

Anyways Rant Over and Fuck You annoying racist white people

[figonas]

Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

[horizon-verizon]

https://www.tumblr.com/baldwinhearts/753792475477557248/if-what-im-going-to-say-upsets-you-please-block?source=share

This is quite a strange thing to say when Alicent is a great representation of Phariseeism and religious hypocrisy. Adding to that, she has allowed her rapist son to get away with it and has allowed heinous sins and crimes for her own benefit, while still considering herself morally superior. But I think it makes sense that someone with this kind of conservative and hypocritical opinion would like Alicent; both are hypocritical, Pharisaic, and misogynistic.

Alicent's behavior is the typical Pharisaic behavior that Jesus would abhor. It's funny when people try to turn her into a genuinely religious figure....

It's all the same tradcath/tradwife/internalized sexist arguments over and over again, so I'm just going to talk abt some lines here and there:

she doesn't want her children to go through what she went through. she’s a good woman, with a very good heart, who deserves all the respect in the world. AND she represents all the men and women who have suffered in silence for years and have found the strength to stand up again — “i am not what happened to me”, that's what alicent represents.

Except in episode 7, Aemond explicitly says that their mother wanted Aegon to marry Helaena, who was even younger than Alicent when they marry. She slaps Aegon around manically in her insistence he do what he clearly did not want to do--go against Rhaenyra or look after Aemond when that last part was her & Criston's responsibility, not his, when her own father also used intimidation against her to do what he wanted to do with her. So she also makes "her children to go through what she went through". It's also ironic how she had to look to Cole to make Aegon change his mind abt his approach towards Rhaenyra in the 2nd season's first episode at the council; how Aemond refers to her as "Alicent" and "fool" -- her kids don't respect her both bc she is a woman, she already raised them to be might=right, self grasping little shits, and she did not really ever respect them. Esp not enough to even punish them for their own egregious acts (murder, rape, etc). So with what reason should I respect Alicent if she does not respect anyone but the patriarchal might=right dogma she preaches to have a bit of a pie she will never have but also chooses to say Rhaenrya doesn't deserve?

And that gets me to this:

she’s not sleeping with criston cole for him, but for herself. yes, she has created a strong bond with him, but if she sleeps and discovers her feminine desire with him, it's because she's doing it for herself. she’s never been in control of her body or her desires, she was only used to produce children for viserys — a filthy, neglectful husband with the charisma of an oyster. now that she's rid of him, she can finally discover herself, and it's beautiful to see.

Yeah...the only difference b/t what Alicent is doing vs Rhaenyra is that Rhaenyra is not in the socially-"appropriate" position of women which is she is not the consort of any lord or male monarch, so she is not seen as having "sacrificed" like Alicent has...meanwhile both women do not really comply with their marriages, even as Alicent's situation is more black-white coercion and abuse. I explain HERE.

Alicent and that stan's issue is that Alicent has been outwardly trying to destroy Rhaenyra for doing the exact same thing she herself has been doing. Why is it that Rhaenyra has to be as abused and suffer in the exact , cookie-cutter, same way as Alicent for us to identify the character of her own social entrapment that is unique to women/girls? They go through things that are categorically under the same family as "women having to compromise their own relationships with their bodies and happiness or sexual exploration for the sake of male ambition or societal patriarchal order". You are not negligent of what Alicent went through in her youth if you criticize her actions of the now that are setting not just her kids and but herself up for further disappointment as well, bc Criston's priorities are not her but her sons and himself.

He's going to eventually turn on her--maybe not violently or accusingly like Rhaenyra, but he's going to stop trying to be her silent advocate and swing more towards her sons' desires so he can boost his own influence. He's an incel, got mad that the girl he slept with didn't want to forgo everything she ever knew for him to sell oranges when that would have been itself a breach of their own loyalities to their houses as well as Cole, once again, breaking his own KG vows.

It's also canon; he's responsible for a lot of stuff that person may or may not know about, and if they do they are in serious denial if they think HotD is not going to have Criston be actively planning some stuff that he does in canon. This is the same dude who was all too willing to run away with Rhaenyra to ruin both of their relationships with their houses; Alicent by now maybe knows of the whole deal (can't be sure bc again, HotD didn't develop that) of him wanting to run with her AND she knows he slept with her and broke his own vows...for her to believe that Rhaenyra "wiled" him when she herself is busying him from performing his duties through sex is wildly hypocritical and shortsighted.

So yeah, she's doing shit for herself...but literally anyone else would have been a better pick, and I rather think bc it is Criston of all people, she rather than Rhaenyra is being way too selfish at the cost of those around her. HotD!Harwin sorta risked some shit for Rhaenrya by losing control on Crispy in the training yard so that she was even more alone then, but at least he never would have actually turned against her and/or her kids!

Alicent wants to act out as the matronly Queenly authority and doesn't want to tie herself to a dead man, a sick too old man and she has every ethical right to do so...however she wants her cake and eat it too. She wants to be seen as morally righteous and by the contradictory, sexist rules...but at the same time she thinks she can escape those rules by ignoring the implications of her own actions while hoping the men around her will respect her if she just manages to act outwardly like a "good girl". Of course most women of her time-place will likely feel similar, show!Rhaenyra herself doesn't totally escape from the need for validation for her ruling (bk!Rhaneyra could not be more different) BUT show!Rhaenyra also still doesn't try to make other women (or anyone) conform to those rules she herself is resisting more than Alicent.

While Alicent is still sincerely trying to get everyone to play the the rules she sincerely believes in, has made herself the exception of, and actively breaks. And yes, widows are also consigned to sexless-ness....why do you think so many real noble ladies were either forced or "voluntarily" consigned themselves to the nunneries (other than genuinely wanting to enjoy scholarly pursuits or to finally escape the reproductive demands of their families)?

I am not religious at all, and all my knowledge of Jesus has dwindled in years past since Catholic school and my last compulsory Church attendance. But yeah, agreed. Alicent and this user you link display a lot of dogmatic, oppressive conservatism and violence that he simply was not about.

That person really showed their hand:

alicent hightower is very personal to me, her character speaks to me enormously, i see a lot of myself in her. she represents women and men victims of domestic abuse and abuse of all kinds throughout the world, people who suffer and have suffered in silence for years.

As like this anon told us, it's not a rational sort of thing for a lot of Alicent's stans. It's too close to an idea of themselves:

they've always been people who, to say this nicely and vaguely, take a very passive approach to trauma and hardship sometimes to a frustrating degree. And the way they'll talk or write about these fictional women often mirrors the way they talk about themselves. And there's a good part of me that suspects they see themselves in these passive women and the patriarchal fantasy of one day being rewarded for passively enduring your hardships. It's basically internalized misogyny tied on with real life pain that they channel through fiction because, as I said, they're often either quite passive or quite... "my pain should be centered at all times but I refuse to extend that empathy I demand to others" in real life. Which is why I honestly don't think there's any sense in... trying to talk sense into a lot of these people. They're channeling feelings from their real life that they've not addressed in their real life, and they're so obstinate about it that they're not the kind of people who would ever see it as a chance to examine how they feel about their own life. Because for them, characters like Sansa and Alicent validate their own feelings about their own lives, while Dany and Rhaenyra challenge them and therefore must be destroyed in order to protect that validation, and they're simply not the kinds of people willing to rethink, or even be aware, of what they're doing. That's why they get so passionate while also refusing true criticism.

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

If You Just Realize

Part Thirteen: Keep It Together

Summary: More changes come for Sebastian and his girls.  Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 2405 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Implied smut, child custody issues.   Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat.

Series Masterlist

The car ride to the Hills’ house was tense; with an important, unfinished conversation behind them and another unknown in front of them, both Sebastian and Y/N were on the defensive. So much had happened in such a short time, they both felt as though it was only a matter of who would break first. 

“That car wasn’t here when we dropped her off,” Y/N noted, getting out of the car. She met Sebastian at the front and held tight to his hand — more for her own comfort, she had to admit, than for his. 

He said nothing, only walked with her up to the front door and rang the bell. Alice was there before the chimes finished, concern etched into her features. 

“I didn’t know,” was the first thing she said, welcoming them in, but no further than the foyer. “I’m so sorry — Conor stopped by unexpectedly. Tim tried to just visit with him here on the porch, but his thinking still isn’t so quick and when Conor asked what I was doing …”

“And Conor wanted to see her,” Sebastian surmised. “Is he with her now?”

Alice nodded. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell him no without upsetting the whole situation and Tim and Milena.”

“It’s not your fault — what else were you supposed to do?” Sebastian squeezed her shoulder. “Where are they now?”

“In the den, watching cartoons.”

Sebastian dropped Y/N’s hand and stalked towards the den. She and Alice were hot on his heels though, concern and fear racing through them at the stern set of Sebastian’s jaw and the dark shade of blue his eyes had taken on. 

In the den, Milena was curled up in Tim’s lap, watching cartoons. She was stealing glances at Conor, as though waiting for him to make any kind of sudden movement. Sebastian stopped at the entryway and took a deep breath to calm his demeanor before Milena saw him. 

“Hey, munchkin,” he greeted with a smile. “Ready to go home?”

Y/N breathed a momentary sigh of relief when she reached Sebastian’s side and saw the smile on his face; even if it was only for Milena’s benefit, it eased her nerves, too. 

“Uncle Seb!” Milena exclaimed, scrambling down from Tim’s lap and racing toward her uncle. She wrapped her arms around his legs and looked up at Y/N. “We going home now?”

Y/N picked her up and nodded. “Yes, princess, we’re going home. Where are your shoes?”

“I have them in my room,” Alice answered. “Come on, Milena, let’s show Y/N where they are.”

The women left the room, and only then did Conor rise from the couch to shake hands with Sebastian. The latter man returned to his closed off, cold expression. 

“I’ll leave you gentlemen to talk,” Tim excused himself. Conor helped his dad up from the chair, and then Tim was out of the room, leaning on the walker for support. 

Sebastian kept his eyes on Conor the whole time. “You cannot be around her. If I have to have that put in the court papers too, I will. I know you’ve hit some low points, but putting your parents in this situation? Especially after everything they’ve been dealing with since your dad’s stroke?”

“She’s my daughter,” Conor returned. 

“Not according to the papers you signed saying you didn’t want her,” Sebastian reminded. “She’s ours. Y/N and I will raise her, my parents and your parents will help and will see her as often as they’d like. You will never be a part of that.”

Sebastian turned to go, but Conor grabbed for his arm. Sebastian turned back, looked down at the grip on his arm, then back at Conor. That man put his hands up in surrender and took a step back. 

“I’m sorry, but this conversation isn’t over,” Conor explained. “I was wrong to sign my rights away. I’ve seen her grow up through pictures up until now, but Irina would never hear of anything different.”

“And why should she have?” Sebastian countered. “You didn’t want Milena! You made that clear months before she was even born.  I was there. My parents, your parents were there. My wife has been there more for Milena since Irina died than you have in her entire life. Where have you been when she cries for Irina? Where have you been when her tummy aches for no reason at all? Where have you been when she’s crying and screaming for hours at night? Nowhere. You haven’t been around at all. Now you see her for the first time in her life and you think you want things to change? You have no idea who Milena is, what her needs are.” He shook his head. “You can say whatever you want, man, but I’m not going to up-end her world any more than what’s already been done out of my control.”

Conor set his jaw. “We’ll see what the courts have to say about that.”

Sebastian snorted. “Yeah, go ahead and get the courts involved. You’re not going to win. Milena is ours, Conor. She will never be yours.”

With that, Sebastian picked up Milena’s jacket from the back of the couch and went in search of his wife and niece. 

“How many days till my bir’day?” 

Sebastian smiled and mentally counted the days. “Let’s see, we just finished Halloween, you birthday is the first day of December … about twenty-seven.”

“That’s so many,” Milena whined. 

Y/N smiled from the counter where she was kneading bread dough. Sebastian and Milena were ‘helping’ from the other side of the island — which really meant Milena was playing with Play-Doh and Sebastian was supervising to see that none of the play stuff got in with the actual dough. 

“It’ll be here before you know it,” Y/N assured, measuring out some cinnamon and sugar to fold into the dough. “What kind of party should we have? Oh, let me guess — princesses!”

But Milena wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No! I want puppies!”

The adults laughed at the squeal of excitement that followed the mention of puppies. A shared glance when Milena went back to her Play-Doh told Y/N that Sebastian was thinking exactly the same as she was: it was time to talk about getting a pet in the house. 

“I mean, we have all this land,” Sebastian began after putting Milena down for an afternoon nap, “seems silly not to have some little creature running around to keep Milena busy.”

“Little creature,” Y/N chuckled, setting the timer for the bread to bake. “Well, we can start looking, but if we want it for her birthday, we shouldn’t look for too long. I’ll get with your mom and Alice and see what we can all put together. Not that you and Tim wouldn’t wanna help but …”

“But it’s probably better we don’t,” he laughed. “I get it.”

She flashed him a winning smile before going to the sink to work on the dishes and Sebastian’s heart beat faster. Since the day Conor had shown up, they hadn’t resumed their conversation, having agreed there was too much going on at the moment to deal with anything else. Milena needed stability and calm, and they couldn’t offer that to her with Conor’s legal threats, the night terrors, and grieving her mother already on their plates. 

Today, however, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. The house was warm and smelled of autumn, thanks to the candles Y/N had lit throughout the place. With his two girls there in good spirits, he finally felt like the place was home. She was singing along softly to the music playing from her phone as she rinsed out the dishes and loaded the washer. Her oversized sweatshirt — one he was sure had actually come from his collection — with the sleeves rolled up and her form-fitting cotton leggings had his eye all day as possibly the most adorable outfit he had ever seen her wear. It seemed a shame that he hadn’t kissed her in so many days. 

She drew in a sharp breath when his hands landed on her shoulders, then giggled when she realized he was behind her. His lips pressed to the top of her head; she leaned back into him. 

“You smell extra good today,” she told him softly. 

Sebastian smiled. “I’m glad you think so. I know we have a lot of things unfinished and undecided between us, Y/N/N, but today feels so much like home. You are home to me. You’ll have to forgive me if I needed to be a little closer to you for it.”

Turning in his arms, Y/N shook her head. “Nothing to forgive.”

He smiled and dipped his head down to kiss her. Shivers raced over his spine when her hands, chilly from rinsing dishes, brushed over the back of his neck. She responded to his kiss eagerly, making Sebastian wish he had pushed closer to her sooner. As the kiss continued, he lifted her onto the counter and pushed between her legs so that he could be as close to her as possible. 

“I suppose,” Y/N told him between kisses, “there is one piece of unfinished business we could get on with — at least one.”

Sebastian raised a brow. “At least one?”

She nodded then returned to their kiss. Sebastian picked her up and carried her bridal style to their bedroom. He was sure of one thing they could finish, but what else was there? It had him slightly distracted as he moved over her on the bed. His kisses softened as he settled on top of her, balancing his weight on his elbows. 

“You’re sure about this? There’s more discussion for us to have, you know,” Sebastian reminded her in almost a whisper. 

Y/N drew in a deep breath and caressed his face. “I love you, Sebastian. I want this life with you. Do you think you want this life with me?”

“No,” he answered, pushing her hair away from her face, “I know that I want this life with you. I love you, Bright Eyes.”

Her grin was as big as he had ever seen it. He leaned to kiss her again, his hand going under that oversized sweatshirt, his heart reveling in the certainty of their love for one another. 

The blow came a few days later. Philip called so early in the morning, Milena was still asleep, and Y/N and Sebastian were only awake because she had a flight to Los Angeles for a talk show interview the next day. 

“I almost forgot in all of this that I am actually an actress,” she chuckled over her coffee. 

Sebastian smiled back at her, his heart not yet ready to let her be across the country, even it was only for a quick trip. “Too bad we can’t stay inside our cozy little bubble here.”

“Mmm, agreed.”

The phone rang then; Sebastian frowned at Philip’s name on the caller ID at that hour. He slid his thumb across the screen and answered with measured concern in his voice. 

“You’re on speaker, Y/N is here with me,” he added, pressing the appropriate option on the screen. 

“Good morning,” Philip sighed, “and also my apologies for starting your day this way. I don’t know how he managed it, but Conor has gotten a judge to rule for him to a mandated week with Milena in his care, to see how things go.”

“He can’t do that! He signed his rights away!” Y/N exclaimed. Tears immediately filled her eyes. 

Philip sighed. “I know that, but this is complex situation. He’s her biological parent, her mother has passed away. I’ve never dealt with this judge before, but apparently she’s got a soft spot for fathers who are doing their best to be fathers.”

Y/N opened her mouth again, but Sebastian stopped her. “What does this mean?”

“Child and Family Services will be coming to get her later this morning. Pack her enough for a couple of days, but Conor has been told he needs to provide for her during this week, as well. Apparently he’s got a live-in girlfriend who he’s been with for a while, and she’ll be there to help him.” 

Sebastian was near speechless. “We can’t fight this?”

“It all happened really quickly — I wasn’t even notified until it was on paper and signed off, or bet your ass I would have fought it. I know before I said we wouldn’t need it, but it would have been much better at this point to have Irina’s wishes on paper.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not helpful. The best I can tell you right now is prepare Milena for what’s going to happen. Tell her it isn’t permanent as far as you know, tell her that you’re going to bring her back home just as soon as you can, but also don’t speak poorly of Conor. After a week, CFS will bring her back to you.”

“I’ve got to cancel my flight,” Y/N said, already on her own phone to call her assistant. Sebastian gently took the device from her, motioning for her to wait. 

“All right, Phil, thanks for letting us know. If anything else comes up — just let us know what we can do to keep her.”

Philip promised that he would, then the men disconnected the call. Sebastian turned to Y/N. 

“I don’t want you canceling that interview,” he told her. “As much as I know you want to be here, I’m not ready for the media to get a hold of this. As soon as you cancel something, they’re going to start speculating and digging. I can’t have that, not yet. You can’t help here, anyway.”

She sniffled. “But I want to be here for you.”

“I know, and I do want you here with me, but to protect ourselves and our privacy for right now, we’re going to have to support each other from a distance for a couple of days.” He kissed her head. “Besides, if they go to Conor, I get the feeling the pseudo-fame will only fuel his purpose.”

Y/N stood to wrap her arms around his neck. Sebastian held her just as tight, praying as they held each other that the little family they were working so hard to stabilized wouldn’t be permanently torn apart by this development. 

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @horsesandbandsforlife @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @shynara51 @sea040561 @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @jackryanplz @beakami @heartsaved @fullprunerebelstatesman @blackwidowismyhomegirl @averyrogers83 @jennmurawski13 @connie326

IYJR: @elsatxx @tanelle83 @amanda-teaches @etherealwaifgoddess @kmuir1 @ntlmundy @jayankles @rebekahdawkins @denise1605 @rhadigen @peace-love-hobbitness @itsallyscorner @mizzzpink @auspiciousharriet @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @learisa @tellmewhatyouwill @katherinereid @lokilokilokilokilokiloki @auriandthepussicats @tellmewhatyouwill @itsmycorneroftheinternet @andreagf956​ @voltage-my2dlove​

[bespectacledbun]

What is in Arthur, Sasuke, Mousse, and Charles that you super love about them?

GASPPPP I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH OMG 💕💕💕 it’s gonna be a long post so I’m putting it under the cut sjdjfkg 

if you don’t want eng/jp spoilers for any of the guys, please don’t read!! that is my warning for this post, so if you decide to click anyway and then complain I put spoilers, I will laugh in your face ✌🏽😚

Sasuke – where do I even begin with this boy??? He’s caught my eye since day fucking one of ikesen when I downloaded it and I was so??? excited??? because 1) holy SHIT we get a meme-y best friend and 2) he’s?? a ninja??? and  I got into this game when I was 16 and I was like THIS IS THE ONE I WANT HIM. I’ll admit, the first thing I liked about his character was that he wore glasses (gotta stay on brand yo) but when we got to see more content of Sasuke in the other routes and in the events I just…slowly fell in love with him and all his quirks. The way he could reference memes with such a straight face. His enthusiasm for history and the warlords. The ninja jokes. The way he couldn’t wink. The more stories he featured in, the more I started loving him (@under-sengoku-skies knows how much I’ve rambled about Sasuke in our dms)

The first story event he featured in, Lord vs Vassal, his story side was him taking the MC on a stargazing date and they saw shooting stars from Azuchi’s roof and I just… The way I felt reading that is indescribable. As a history nerd and space geek myself, I loved his jokes, and the way he thought that his and MC’s meeting was designed by fate is just. I couldn’t help but fall in love with that, y’know? The idea that this man of science is such a romantic that he believed his meeting with MC wasn’t just a chance encounter, but it was arranged by destiny… I can’t think of anything right now except cute hdgahshfg.

And then when we got his route and I found out that he’s been waiting for FOUR YEARS and training all that time just to protect the MC it was like,,, the last piece of the puzzle clicked in. To wait all that time and constantly be there for MC in every single route and to protect her… everything Sasuke does has always been for MC (this is your reminder to go read Sasuke’s route if you haven’t done so already). So tldr, Local Sengoku Ninja is Actually a Romantic and Makes an Excellent Boyfriend

~

Mousse – So when Mousse first got released in…late 2018 iirc, I actually didn’t think much of him at first 😂 it’s funny, because at first all I knew was that he was the Sleeping Dormouse and a diplomat. So I didn’t have much of an opinion outside “oh cool, I wanna see what he looks like” right?? And then cybird dropped his character design and I was like. Shit. He’s actually kind cute?? So I think @ladygacha translated a few of his stories and his introduction story where he’s napping in the Civic Centre was released and I was like fuuuuuuuuuuuck. 

It’s kinda weird to explain but hdgajsd his hair is so fluffy and his general character design was just so appealing to me and then… I heard his voice. From that point on it was basically over for me ajsjdk I was WHIPPED. In 2019 his first birthday story released and he talks about how he fell in love with Alice at first sight and I was just g o n e HE’S REALLY SO CUTE IN HIS INTERACTIONS. It’s like what happened with Sasuke asdjfkajd I’m a sucker for “love at first sight” characters.

So when we got to see him in Zero’s route in English I was !!!! FINALLY I GET TO SEE MY BOI and holy SHIT, it was everything I could have wanted. The way he just called Zero out for not protecting Alice?? I was sold. Just his character and personality in general, the way he’s so passionate about other cultures and countries and the way his love towards Alice is so pure and genuine, it’s adorable, and I’m really excited to see more of him in English ajdfjgjajdf

~

Arthur – strap in because this is prolly gonna be so much longer than the other two ajsjdjfg. So funny thing, I liked Arthur before ikevamp got announced in English–before it was out even in jp, actually. For my 15th birthday, I had gotten a huge volume of Sherlock Holmes novels from my mother, and when I read them I LOVED the stories. I liked Sir Arthur Conan Doyle the mystery writer before I liked Arthur, the ikevamp suitor. So when I found out he was going to be a character I could date, needless to say, I was REALLY excited for his route and ikevamp in general.

To anyone who’s read Arthur’s route, remember the chapter where Theo explains that Arthur is scared of getting close to people because he’s afraid they’ll leave??? Yeah. That chapter was the biggest fucking callout for me because I’m a little like that too. I’ve always been afraid of being left so when I read that, I was like ‘oh shit, this hits too close to home for me’. I know the popular fandom portrayal is this fuckboi who just sleeps around and has -10 braincells, but there’s actually so much more to him than that, which is what made me fall for him in the first place. 

I’ll be honest, I was really disappointed with the first few chapter of his route because I knew that it wouldn’t go over well and. Well. I really wish that we didn’t have to have such a scene in the first place, but sadly I’m not the story writer for ikevamp 😔 I was a bit scared of how he’d be portrayed in the rest of the route, mainly because I wanted to like his character a lot. So when his route actually dropped and we got him entertaining children, and his confidence at games, and how his brogue slips out when he’s stressed or nervous–all of that made me feel ‘okay, so this isn’t so bad’. I liked that we also got to see the darker parts of his route and his trauma wasn’t just brushed over for the sake of romance. 

Also, Arthur is… really stupid. Like really stupid. He might be smart most of the times, but when he goes into Panic ModeTM or when his emotions are running high, he becomes rash and impulsive and does the first thing that comes to his head (much like myself, which was a callout I did Not appreciate). Like throwing himself under a knife for MC. Or buying her a music box to see her smile. The first time I got to his confession at the end of his route, and he said he got a note from MC and ran to the portal without even checking to see if it was actually from her I just. stared at my screen. like, How can you be so smart and yet be such an idiot at the same time??? I don’t know. I really don’t. Tl;dr, Arthur is a dumbass but he’s a lonely dumbass with a heart of gold and has some really soft event stories in jp (gap moe, anyone?), so please stan him hdgsjdhfg

~

Charles – Charles has literally only been out for a max of 4 months and yet, if anything happened to him I would shoot everyone in ikevamp and then myself. The funny thing is, NOBODY thought I would fall for Charles at first. Last December when they were releasing character designs for the new characters in ikevamp jp, all my friends tagged me for Faust because everyone, including me, thought I’d fall for the megane character. Then Charles waltzed in and wrecked my home and hearth and I was done for. 

Like Sasuke and Mousse, he’s one of those “love at first sight” characters, and in his first story he calls the MC cute and they go shopping together and I just *flails around* he’s so cute??? His character profile also says he’s starved for love and I just,,, in real life I would never stay with that kind of person but since he’s a fictional character, I can’t help but just want to stay with him Q_Q My friends like to tease me by saying all the guys I like have a sort of “puppy” personality ahshdjfg wheezes 

~

And that’s all of them!! If you came here expecting a coherent explanation, you’re asking the wrong guy my bro ajshdjf but please talk to me more about these boys I would gladly talk to anyone in my inbox 💖💖💖💖

[shadyb00ts]

A Chromatica Review

So I never really use Tumblr, but when I do go on here, it’s pretty much to review something long-form. As you can tell from my profile picture here, and from my glowing review of ARTPOP from 7 years ago, I am and have always been a Gaga stan. Just read the melodramatic first paragraph of my ARTPOP review and you’ll get the gist of how much I idolize this woman. Well, idolized. Past tense.

That’s not to say I suddenly hate Gaga–I’m still going to follow her career and listen to whatever she puts out. There have just been several factors this past year that have changed my perspective on how I view her, this album being one of those factors. But I’ll get to those later. First I just need to lay out all my issues with this album.

Yes, this is going to be that type of review, so if you’re a fellow Gaga stan that isn’t able to criticize her work, this probably isn’t for you. Otherwise please read to the end if you can, because this is honestly about more than just the album.

Issue #1: The Mismatch Between Music & Aesthetic

When the cover of the album came out, I was so gagged. Like, just look at it! It’s striking, and Gaga has rarely ever disappointed me when it came to visuals. Actually, I can’t even think of any visual choices she made in previous eras that disappointed me. Even in the Joanne era, the pink cowboy hat became iconic and all of her aesthetic choices fit with the overall vibe of that album cycle.

So naturally, when she revealed to us the new visual direction she was taking for Chromatica, I assumed it would give us some insight into how the music would sound. The aesthetic of this era always gave me grungy cyberpunk and heavy machinery tease. When I look at the album cover for example, I can hear a song produced by SOPHIE in my head, the clink-clank queen herself. (There were rumors that Gaga was going to or did work with SOPHIE but that was never confirmed, unfortunately for us.)

For those unfamiliar with SOPHIE, here’s Ponyboy, which was most recently used in the ad campaign for Beyoncé’s Ivy Park clothing line.

That was the kind of production I was more or less expecting when taking the visuals into account; dark, metallic, basically similar to ARTPOP’s production (to be honest ARTPOP sonically fits better with the Chromatica aesthetic; think about it). 

But what did we get? Light, garden variety dance pop, a stark contrast to what the album cover and the promo images teased us with.

In the album, we get these orchestral interludes that are beautiful but don't really mesh that well with the actual tracks. The songs don't have any orchestral elements by themselves, so the interludes felt a bit misplaced to me. I wish they'd incorporated more of that into the individual songs, so that there could be an orchestral through-line to give more cohesion, like what Ariana did in her album positions by using strings. However I will say, the transition from Chromatica II into 911 remains unmatched.

I get that the album is supposed to sound happy, that it was her returning to her “dance pop roots” and singing about serious topics like mental health over happy-sounding beats, because it’s supposed to reflect her current mental state. I get all that. But if that was the case, I think she should’ve gone with a different visual direction to match. Personally I wish she went a different direction musically instead, but even if it was just the other way around and she changed the aesthetic of this era, my opinion of the album would probably improve slightly, cause at least there would be cohesion between the visuals and the sonics.

I look at that album cover, and promo images like the one below, and then I listen to songs like Fun Tonight or Plastic Doll for example, and there’s a noticeable dissonance there. 

You might be thinking “why are you so hard on her for this?” and I guess it’s because I’ve always held Gaga to a high standard when it comes to how she links those two elements. Think of every era she’s had in the past, and you remember how the visuals always just worked with their respective albums.

And that’s before I’ve even talked about the videos. Oh lord, the videos.

Issue #2: The Videos Are Lackluster (Except For 911)

It started with Stupid Love, the lead single. I had mixed feelings about that song in the beginning, but because I was so thirsty for new music from Gaga at the time, I played that song like hell when it leaked and it was on rotation for a good while. But when Gaga premiered the Stupid Love video, I’m not going to lie; I really didn’t like it.

The whole “shot entirely on iPhone” schtick really did the video a disservice. I’m sorry but it had to be said. If I imagined the video with a higher budget and more of a plotline as opposed to just being a dance video, I think it could’ve worked a lot better and been a decent introduction to not only Chromatica the album, but this fictional world/planet that she’s created. Which by the way, she didn’t really deliver in that regard either. 

The concept of Chromatica being a fictional world could have been expanded on further; she could’ve showcased all of the different factions (I know they were called “tribes” at first but that’s appropriative so I’ll call them factions) and perhaps had an overarching storyline about how these factions are at war, and it’s Gaga’s job as one of the “Kindness Punks”, as she calls it, to bring everyone together for a rave.

This is why I will always say it: Chromatica needed to be a visual album. Just imagine the storyline I mentioned just now being turned into a full-length feature, and now imagine the album’s orchestral intro playing as they’re essentially opening the gates to Chromatica and Gaga discovers this world for the first time, and then it goes into the first song Alice where she’s meeting all the factions and getting acclimated to her surroundings.

Honestly I could go on and on cause I have thought about this for SO LONG now and I’ll never shut up about it. It’s just such a missed opportunity cause the concept was just begging for a visual album. Anyway sorry for my tangent: back to the Stupid Love video.

The whole “shot on iPhone” gimmick really was unfortunate. Like she really ruined the quality of a music video because she wanted that Apple check??? Come on, Gaga, there could’ve been some other way to secure that check.

And then there was the Rain On Me video, which definitely have visuals that are a massive improvement from Stupid Love because it was professionally shot and cinematic. But even that was another purely dance video with not much in the way of storyline. Not that storyline is always required for music videos, but I think specifically when it comes to Chromatica, not having storylines in the M/Vs does a disservice to the overall concept.

I guess my issue with these two music videos, but mostly Stupid Love, is that Gaga isn't fully utilizing her COIN. Like she's successful enough to the point where she has budgets for these videos and can go all out, but doesn't. She has the capacity for extremely high production value, but up until 911, the last video she did that had that level of extraness was G.U.Y. I miss the days when her music videos were an event. I still remember where I was and what I was doing the exact moment the Telephone video came out. That's impact.

Taylor Swift I think is somebody who really knows how to blow her budget on a video. Look What You Made Me Do may have been a terrible song, but I always thought the video was sickening.

Anyway, I have no notes on 911. She's a masterpiece. If there was a music video category at the Oscars, I'd be campaigning for it right now.

Issue #3: Any Other Girly Can Do This

The thing I always loved the most about Gaga's music was that nobody was doing it like her. Everything she put out always felt like it was distinctly hers and hers alone, it's unmistakable. Even in Joanne, despite that album being a major departure from what she normally did.

I know Joanne is a very polarizing album, even for Little Monsters, but personally I've always loved it. Joanne was an album that I always knew she would make and I thought was essential to her career and body of work. Despite her straying away from pop for a more earthy, grass roots sound, it still sounded very much like her music. Even from the first track, Diamond Heart, her DNA is all over that.

It's difficult to explain what exactly I mean when I say there's a certain signature "Gaga-ness" or that she has a very specific DNA injected into her songs. If you've been a fan of hers for a long time or followed her career, you probably understand what I'm referring to. It's the way she laughs maniacally in the beginning of ARTPOP on Aura, how she says "I don't speak German but I can if you like, OW!" and proceeds to recite broken German on Scheiße, how she invented the phrase "disco stick", literally the ENTIRETY of The Fame Monster.

These examples probably give you the gist of what I'm trying to convey. Gaga is fucking weird. She has always been fucking weird and I love that so much about her. And her brand of weirdness was so specific that if any of the other pop girls tried to do what she did, it would have been cringey as hell. To me, the most disappointing thing of all with this album was that this weirdness that was so uniquely hers was missing.

It's there in brief moments, in tracks like Sour Candy, 911 and Babylon, but most of the album doesn't really sound like her music. It sounds like songs that she wrote for other people, like her old unreleased stuff. OG Little Monsters probably remember songs like Second Time Around and No Way. These were leaked unreleased songs that Gaga had written for other artists, and even though they were absolute bops, they didn't sound like her. They weren't supposed to.

A similar feeling I had was when her song The Cure came out a few years ago. I genuinely thought that was something she wrote for someone else, cause even though it was a solid pop song, it absolutely had zero Gaga-ness and any current pop girl could sing it. This pretty much encapsulates how I feel about the majority of Chromatica.

I was gonna say it sounded like songs that were written for Ally, her Star is Born character, but I think even those pop songs from the soundtrack sounded more Gaga than Chromatica does. 💀 I can easily imagine Hair Body Face being on The Fame.

Final Thoughts

It's funny that the last review I had posted on here before this was my review of Kingdom Hearts III. The Kingdom Hearts game series is something that's very near and dear to my heart, and I waited a wholeass decade for the third game to come out. And then it did, and I was so disappointed.

So you know what happened after that? What helped me deal with my disappointment of that game was my anticipation for Chromatica, or at the time it was still called LG6. I had no idea I would feel the same exact way about this album the way I do about KH3. Now when I think of both of these things, I'm mostly frustrated by all of the potential and the missed opportunities, but I also look at them with a certain fondness. I had fun playing KH3, and I also had fun listening to Chromatica, despite both of them disappointing me overall.

In the beginning of this review I said that there were certain factors that have stopped me from idealizing Gaga too much. Firstly it's because I'm much older now, and secondly it's due to the sheer state of the world this past year. The pandemic really precipitated the fall of celebrity culture, and all of that made me really examine how putting someone on such a high pedestal can be damaging in the long run.

Gaga is a human being and I haven't agreed with everything she's done, particularly how she handled the whole R. Kelly situation back in 2013. And also the simple fact that she's a white woman, we know how a lot of the time they can't help but show their asses and are bound to disappoint us in some way. I'm forever grateful for her artistry and how she saved my life when I was a suicidal little eighth grader, but I'm also going to hold her accountable for any of her mistakes, and I'd be ready to stop supporting her entirely if anything she does ever goes too far.

Now I stan artists for fun. It's not healthy to idolize them to the point of revering them. I mean, I like to make jokes like that about Beyoncé, like "no way on Beyoncé's green earth", etc. But even she is just a person that we shouldn't deify for real.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Chromatica being a lackluster album and era ended up being a good thing, because it helped me grow out of idolizing celebrities too intensely. Chromatica was pretty much the best disappointment I've ever listened to.

If you've read all the way to the end, thank you! Writing this was very therapeutic but also stressful; this is a second draft cause Tumblr fucked up my first post. 😭

Anyway, SAWAYAMA & Ungodly Hour are albums of the year. Argue with the wall.

[nautiscarader]

Wendip Week day 5 - Time Travel

(Ao3) 

Also this was supposed to be short and yet it is 2.5k and still has no plot

==================

- I'm really glad you agreed to help us. - Wendy gave her best friend a kiss to the cheek and waved her children goodbye - We're gonna be by ten. Tyrone, Emma, be good to auntie Tambry. - We'll be back before you know it. - Dipper said, as much to his children, as to the babysitter.

The door to their cozy, two-storey wooden house closed, and the sound of engine soon reached them from the outside, as Dipper and Wendy left for a well-deserved evening alone to celebrate their anniversary. Tambry grabbed a can of Pitt Cola from the kitchen and jumped onto the sofa.

- So, what do you guys want to do? Play some board games, or do you want me to tell you stories? Heh, I have some pretty embarrassing stories about your folks and-

It took Tambry a paralysingly long moment to notice that she has been talking to no one the whole time. She jumped to her feet and frantically looked around, trying to spot all the possible places for a seven- and ten-years old, quickly coming to realisation that there were way too many of them.

But there was only one where a noise was coming from.

The basement.

At once, Tambry dropped her can and rushed downstairs. Other parents might have worried that their children would accidentally break bottles of wine, or cut themselves on some of daddy's tools, but in Dipper and Wendy's case, the consequences of wandering into their basement unprotected were far, far more severe. Apart from the sharp tools and bottles of intoxicants, their basement was a home to their treasure vault.

In the past twenty or so years, the couple (with occasional help from Tambry and others) have travelled around States and the world, to all the places Ford has marked as "of interest". And over the two decades, they have collected many treasures, as well as many objects of interest they kept in their ultra-secure vault, locked not only with technology, but also spells and enchantments.

And when Tambry saw it it wide open, it did not surprise her in the slightest. After all, those were Wendy and Dipper's kids. Tambry's mind went berserk, trying to imagine what the kids could have touched, and as she got into the vault, she saw the Time Tape, a relict from Wendy and Dipper's short-lived part-time job as time agents.

The kids turned their heads around, and just as they began disappearing, Tambry launched herself forward, and as her finger brushed the wobbly, ephemeral surface of time rift, she was pulled forward, but instead of slamming her head against the opposite wall, she began falling, deeper than she ever had, flying though time vortex itself, filled with clocks and occasional telephone boxes, some of which contained two stoned guitarists.

Just as she thought she would feel sick, she felt pain in her arm when she collided with ground.

Tambry turned around, her mind still on Wendy and Dipper's kids. She recognised the place already: she was on the same hill where Woodstick concert was taking place, evidently still with the crowd of attendees. The whole place was filled with people, but as she looked around, Tambry immediately saw two familiar figures: one red-haired boy and one brown-haired girl, just on the verge of the forest, and she leapt towards them, shouting with her last breath.

- Tyrone! Emma! - she grabbed their shoulders Why did you-

But as she looked at the two children, her heart sank as she began noticing subtle differences. Emma didn't have green eyes. Tyrone's hair wasn't as long. And he wasn't as tall as he used to be a moment ago. Emma didn't have a beauty mark on her cheek.

The strange kids stared at her in confusion, but as she was about to ask what happened, she heard a murmur from the crowd behind her. And when she turned around, she nearly fainted. She suddenly realised that the crowd she passed by weren't random people.

As the dozens, if not hundreds of children turned their heads at the same time, in a near-synchronised motion, Tambry began noticing the same features over and over again: red hair, freckles, chestnut hair, birthmarks, brown and green eyes...

- Hi, Aunt Tambry! - spoke the children in blood-freezing, eerie, collective cheer. - What the fu-

And then, she was falling again, through the asphalt, the ground, and the vortex again, but this time, with all the red- and chestnut-haired children. She was still frantically looking for Tyrone and Emma, but she quickly realised it was a futile attempt, and by the time she thought that, she felt pain in her back again, as she landed, this time, in a spacious, gold-and-marble hall.

She expected she would hear hundreds of cries of the children, as they would landed and sprain her ankles or broke their arms, but so far, she was the only one who mis-landed, while every sing;e child or teenager around got onto their feet as if they just exited a school bus.

- Emma? Tyrone?

Tambry asked, being helped by two children, and to her relief, she finally found them, rushing towards her with tears in their eyes.

- Auntie Tambry, we-we are sorry... - Emma cried, closing her arms around her waist. - Yeah, we messed up... - the older boy spoke, without meeting her eyes and joined his sister. - That's... that's okay, kids, everything is fine...

Tambry knelt and brought them into a tight, warm hug, glad things finally started making sense.

And as she opened her eyes, she saw a giant, floating head.

- EMMA AND TYRONE PINES!

The Time Baby boomed, filling the air in the courtroom with its mighty voice.

- YOU HAVE BEEN PULLED FROM YOUR ORIGINAL TIME STREAM TO ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAIN THE TIME ITSELF. - it continued, reading from a piece of paper - TOGETHER WITH YOU, WE BROUGHT ALICE PINES, DAN PINES, PETER PINES, STAN II PINES, STANFORD II PINES, STANISLAU PINES, TERRANCE PINES, DEBORAH PINES, ANNE PINES, DANNY PINES, TYRONE PINES, TYRONE PINES, PHOEBE PINES ...

For the next five minutes, the giant, floating baby continued listing - from the sound of it - names of every single son and daughter of Wendy and Dipper present in the hall. And then it spoke Tambry's name as well, as if she was a punchline to a very long joke.

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? - Uh, yeah, about that, I don't. - Tambry spoke, crossing her arms. - Who-who are you guys? I know Wendy and Dipper have been busy once they retired from adventuring, but not THAT much...

Immature snickering erupted around her.

- Auntie Tambry, it's real simple. - Emma tugged her shirt to bring her attention. - All of us here are kids of our parents from alternate universes. Our time-siblings if you will. - Yeah! - another girl, around age of fifteen agreed - Like, in our timeline, our mom and dad are bad-ass freedom fighters... - ...our parents were the same age when they met! - ...my dad moved to Oregon permanently! - ...my mom moved to California! - ...our parents first broke up but then got together again! - ...our parents attended the same sports school! - ...our parents run a coffee-shop!

Everyone in the hall, including the primordial, pan-dimensional Time Baby, collectively groaned.

- Okay, is there *someone*, who can explain to me how to untangle this mess? - Tambry cried in anger - Because I didn't sign up for this... - "Untangle" is, in fact, the correct word.

The crowd of one purple- and many chestnut- and red-heads turned towards the new voice, and just when Tambry thought that something would start making sense, she hiccuped when she understood who just greeted her.

- Waddles! - the crowd of Wendy and Dipper's offspring cheered in unison, and ran towards the chubby pink pig that flew into the courtroom in his leaving chair, Tambry more perplexed than a moment ago. - Indeed, I am Waddles, though not the one you know. I am a distant descendant of the one, brave pig you call Waddles, and who is known in our civilisation as the "Oink-Father". - I need a drink... - Tambry hid her face in hands. - But Tambry here is right - Waddles continued, as he circled the room, until he flew towards the screen - It would seem that one set of children travelled back in time, modified the past, altering their future. Then, another set of kids travelled from the now-changed future, their present, to the same past, hoping to fix it, but modifying it again. Repeat that around, er, seventy-two times, and you get the results!

Waddles spread his stubby trotters, pointing to the crowd of time-travelling children, and continued.

- Your many time travels have twisted the time continuum into a knot-like structure. What's worse, the many parallel universes you've created have ended some of them, and began new ones.

As he spoke, the singular line on the enormous screen began twisting and turning, until it resembled a ball of yarn that has been a target of a whole litter of hyperactive kittens.

- However, hope is not lost. You will find that in order to solve this multi-dimensional conundrum, we must simply use a trivially easy algebraic property of inverting the product.

At least a dozen of children around Tambry let out a collective gasp of understanding and began nodding.

- Er, come again? - Tambry spoke to the talking pig, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. - Simply speaking, you first put on your underwear, and then your pants. But if you want reverse the process, you must first take off your pants, and then the underwear.

The future Waddles looked down at his body.

- I assure you, this analogy is true, even though I have very little experience in that matter. - So... you mean that we need to find which groups of kids brought which one with them, put them in order, and then, like, escort them back, one by one, from the end? - Precisely!

Tambry cursed her best friend under her breath.

- I will never babysit any of you. - she grumbled - I might even never speak to Wendy again either. - she threw a paralysing glare at the crowd of children around her. - Heh, funny story - one of the teenage boys spoke - In our universe, you and our parents... er, kinda-sorta... Ah, never mind, you'll find out. Maybe. - Okay, someone give me some ultra-strong coffee from the future, or something, and let's do this.

And so, it began. Tambry lined up each group of kids together, and after much reorganising they began jumping through time. From universes that looked completely similar to hers, through those still aflame in Weirdmageddon, to those that were literally the mirror ones of hers, complete with traffic signs flipped horizontally, Tambry began the longest school trip of her life, escorting the cavalcade of children, trying her might to keep them holding their hands in line, which was much easier said than done when you are attacked by pterodactyls, or have to swim through the river of chocolate.

After hours, maybe days - she couldn't tell, and she was afraid to ask the children, who she suspected had an answer - she was left with just two kids. The ones she swore to protect, and whom she has failed miserably.

- Okay, guys. Can you tell me WHY IN HECK did you decide to do this?!

Emma and Tyrone looked at each other with shame, and showed her a photo on Tyrone's smarter-phone. A photo only they could have taken. Wendy Corduroy, age 15, kneeling in front of 13-year-old Dipper Pines, as she was telling him goodbye after their first summer spent together. Their future father was still perplexed by Wendy's act of taking his hat and swapping it for hers. She was saying something, but only they knew what they talked about, though Dipper's reddened cheeks gave Tambry a good indication what was Wendy's farewell message.

- We... we wanted to give our parents something for their anniversary. - And we thought we could go back to when they first met, you know, and take a picture. - Emma looked at her younger parents - Look how cute they are! Especially dad! - Yeah, he was heads over heels about your mom. - Tambry smiled. - Except we messed up... Turns out it really matters if you spook that goat and she runs left instead of right! - Hey, it's okay. - Tambry ruffled the boy's hair. - You put all the things back in place?

The two nodded eagerly.

- Okay, we can go back.

Tambry took the time tape, and was about to pull it one last time, but she decided to give it to the children.

- You do it. You know better than me how to use it.

For the last time Tambry felt the now-familiar feeling of her insides somersaulting, and, for the first time, she has managed to land on her feet. Seventy time travels taught her when to flip instead of flopping, something the children seemed to have grasped instantly.  

She opened eyes. They were back in the vault, in one piece, and just as she was about to say something, she heard the familiar sound of engine.

- Quick! get into positions!

She prompted the kids to run upstairs, while she closed the vault's door and followed them soon. By the time Wendy and Dipper opened the door, Emma and Tyrone have managed to bring the plates of snacks, open, empty, and scatter a dozen of cans of soda, and set up entire board and pieces of "Crippling Economy" on the table, to make sure their parents wouldn't suspect anything.  

- Hey, kids! - Wendy spoke, knowing she shouldn't worry too much as their house was still standing. - Did you miss us?

The two adults couldn't even take off their coats, before their children jumped to greet them with the most affectionate of hugs.

- Alright, alright! - Dipper smiled - We got you presents, don't worry... - No, mom, dad, we got you one!

The two nodded and presented to them the freshly printed photo, and watched as their parents' faces brightens in awe.

- Dipper... - Look, we were so young... - You were so small! - But you were as beautiful as today.

The kids let out a simultaneous "yuck" as their parents kissed, knowing to prolong the moment for maximum embarrassment.

- Wow, kids, thank you. - Dipper hugged them again - But where did you get it? - Auntie Tambry was going trough her phone and she found it. - So... we decided to frame it! - That's very thoughtful, you guys. And, hey, where's Tambry?

Just as Wendy asked, a loud snore reached their ears, and the four fund Tambry sleeping on the couch in the living room, the same one she expected to slack off on the entire night.

- You must have seriously tires her out. - Dipper spoke with hushed voice. - Eh, you know how it is - Emma shrugged.  

The Pines family tip-toed from the living room in order not to wake Tambry up. Just as Wendy was about to hang the new picture on the wall, she started thinking "Was Tambry even with us when Dipper left..?". But she was too tired to remember this, and she let out a prolonged yawn, ready to tuck their kids in their beds and join her husband in their bedroom soon.  

=================

Also, this fic contains names that coincide, completely coincidentally, with Wendip kid OCs by @fereality-indy, @nina-a-pines, and Supergroveraway.