#anyway can you tell that I overthink shit A LOT

[tcfactory]

Random In Tune worldbuilding tidbid that won't come up for a while but I've been thinking about it today:

There are only two people on the sect who can safely dual cultivate with MQF when his core is not shielded/filtered: WQW, who spent the last twenty years developing an immunity (because they were so late with his treatment, the toxins couldn't be removed from his body so the only way to fix his leg was to render him completely immune and then repair the damage) and YQY, because YQY's spirit veins are so fucked up that the toxic qi just runs through him with minimal absorption that can be mitigated with a pill.

Xuan Su destroyed almost all of YQY's spiritual system when he picked it up too early. His spirit veins were obliterated except for a few vestiges around his core (which formed as a defensive measure against the onslaught of the sword's qi and holds not just his qi but basically the entirety of his life force as well) and the parts in his sword arm that were already developed enough to handle the deluge of power.

He was confined to the caves because without the saturation of spiritual energy his body would have just shut down because he had no spiritual veins to supply his body with qi. Breaking his bones and ligaments was part of the process of building him an artificial meridian system (that's why his spirit veins are "straight like someone drew them with a ruler" because that's exactly what happened), but it's not really effective.

They have abysmally low efficiency when it comes to qi absorption; he has to circulate most of his insanely huge pool of qi through them constantly to get a normal amount of energy to the rest of his body. If his spiritual veins are like irrigation channels in a field, then the artificial veins have concrete walls and the only water escaping them is what spills out the top and seeps through the cracks.

If he cuts out his core and the veins in his arm from direct circulation (a quirk he never really thought about, but MQF was clawing at the walls when he heard he can do that because wtf ) then he can run someone's qi through his body and back to them with basically no impact on him.

And if he wants to take on harmful qi anyway then he can just dilute it in his own energy because it would be a drop in the fucking ocean. The size of his qi reserves are more in line with someone late in nascent soul level, usually at the stage where people ascend to the heavens, he just can't utilize it.

(Except when he's a dumbass who wants to take the qi of his beloved SQQ into his core and gets hit with the 'suddenly a teenager again' stick for his troubles. This dumbass.)

[exopelagic]

i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[starniolosposts]

invite (1)

part one, part two

pairing: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: the popular frat boy, chris sturniolo, unexpectedly invites you, the shy and quiet girl, to his frat party.

warnings: shy/unpopular reader, confident/frat boy chris (but he’s still sweet), chris defends you 🤩, pretty long and will have a part two which is the final part

notes: SMUT IS IN THE NEXT PART (you could just read the next part for the smut but this one has all the tension leading up to it hehe;) )

not proofread/edited

“hey.”

you practically jump out of your seat from the voice in front of you, interrupting your study time in the silent library. you shrink into yourself in embarrassment at your reaction, and are even more mortified when its chris sturniolo standing in front of you.

chris grins and leans over the table, hair falling into his face as he scans the study page your on. “seems hard. whats your major again?”

you gulp, throat suddenly turning dry. you don’t answer, honestly kind of scared of saying the wrong or humiliating thing to the one boy you’ve been admiring from afar since college started.

he tilts his head and locks eyes with you, “so you don’t really speak, do you? i’ve never heard you talk before.” he observes, and you bit your lip.

“…i do talk.” you finally manage to say, avoiding anymore eye contact.

chris chuckles before pulling out the chair across from you and sitting down.

your heart rate picks up and you pray that he wont be staying for long. not because of him, but because then you have less of a chance of embarrassing yourself in front of him.

“so, whats your major?” he asks again, and he actually seems interested.

“oh, its animal science. i also minor in biology.” you whisper, seeing the librarian glance over at you both. chris obviously doesn’t care if he’s loud, since he responds with his normal volume.

“oh shit, so you’re smart smart.”

you blush and shrug, tapping your pencil on your notebook. “not really.”

chris smirks. “how humble of you. anyway, i have another question. what are you doing this saturday?”

your eyes widen as you glance up at him, stomach tingling with butterflies. why did that sound like he was asking you out? you bit the inside of your cheek in thought. you should study for an upcoming exam… you shake your head, “i don’t have anything on saturday.”

“perfect. i have a frat party that starts at 7 pm, but show up whenever you want.” chris exclaims, seemingly very pleased as he leans back in his chair.

you blink and then feel a sense of dread in your stomach instead of butterflies. “oh—uhm… i don’t really do parties.” you sheepishly mutter. what you didn’t want to admit was how you have never even gone to a party, nor have been invited to one.

chris smiles charmingly as he looks at you, and you feel so exposed and flustered. “i can tell. its alright if you don’t want to go, i just thought it’d invite you. you seem to study to much, your big brain needs a break.” he taps your study book as he tries to act unbothered.

you think for a moment, then blush blossoms your cheeks. “if i go, uhm, will i be able to stick by you then? i know i won’t really know anyone there.”

chris stares at you with an unreadable expression, his jaw squared and his eyes gleam. he finally nods. “of course. you can follow me around.”

you sigh through your nose and nod, the nerves already flowing through you. “okay.”

“you’ll go?”

“yeah, i think.”

saturday comes faster than normal, the anticipation of the frat party buzzing through you, and it even floats around the lectures you have. apparently a lot of people were going and it was going to be a huge party, everyone was looking forward to it.

while people were excited, you were kind of dreading it. what if chris abandons you and you’re left alone in a group of strangers? what if you trip and face-plant and everyone laughs at you? you shake your head, knowing you were overthinking.

you take a deep breath as you look at yourself in the mirror. this is the most you’ve ever dressed up, and you thought you looked okay. you wore a short, sparkly, black dress and your hair was curly down your back. no one had ever seen you with your hair down, so this was a big step. in the back of your mind you knew you were just trying to capture chris’ attention at least a little bit.

gathering up the courage, you grab your phone and make your way across campus and to the frat house. you can hear the music from a mile away and the flashing lights are prominent the more you get closer.

you glance at the time on your phone, 8 pm. you thought it was weird to show up exactly when the party started at 7, so you waited around for a while.

you tried not to think about how skin tight your dress was, or how short it was, or how your makeup looked. you pushed down your anxiety and tried to convince yourself you would have a good night. you walked inside, wincing slightly as the music was now clear and blaring in your ears.

your number one objective was to find chris, and fast. you looked around swiftly, dodging drunk people and catty girls side-eyeing you.

“y/n!”

you spun around and nervously wrung your wrists behind you, staring at chris as he walked up to you. “hi.”

chris’ jaw clenched as his eyes darted all over you. your hair, your face, your body. he blinked, wondering how you were the same person at the library a couple days ago. “you look great.” he finally says.

you smile shyly and look at his outfit. he wears baggy camo pants with a black long sleeve, a chain, and doesn’t wear his signature hat, so his hair is out and fluffy. he looks handsome as always, but you cant say that. “you too.” you meek out.

“i thought you skipped out, i was worried i would have to go to your dorm and drag you here.” he jokes and smiles, gesturing you to follow him.

you laugh softly and nod, following him into the kitchen with less people and muffled music. he grabs two red solo cups and fills both of them with something. he hands you one, then takes a sip of his.

you look at the contents inside the cup suspiciously, hesitate to try it.

chris looks down at you staring into your cup and chuckles. “don’t worry, i figured you don’t drink so its just lemonade.” he reassured, and you sigh in relief as you sip on it.

“thank you.”

“mhm. what made you agree to come?” chris asks suddenly, leaning against the counter, arms crossed with his cup still in his hand.

you gulp nervously, flustered as you stare at him. “can i be honest?” you ask, doing the same thing as him beside him.

he grins down at you and nods, “yeah.”

you fidget with your cup. “i’ve never been to a party, or invited to one. so when you asked i was nervous, but knowing i had you i was okay.” you blurt out, and you mentally slap yourself for saying so much.

chris is silent for a moment, and you want to run away and go back to your dorm, but then he nudges your shoulder with his elbow.

you look up at him and he smiles warmly. “hey, now that we talked and you came to my party, we’re best friends now. no need to be nervous when i’m here.”

you both stare at each other, and you swore he was leaning closer and glancing at your lips. unfortunately, a voice spoke up.

“chris, i love this party! beer pong was so much fun!” a girl strides in, b-lining straight towards him. she then looks at you weirdly, glancing at how close you were standing next to him.

chris nods at her and looks a little irritated, “good, it’s supposed to be fun.”

you awkwardly look down at your aching feet as they continue talking, this was your first time wearing heals for a long period of time.

the girl glances at you and then looks at chris with a look. “so, who’s she?” she asks as if your not there and she can ask you.

chris sighs and puts an arm around your back and his hand on your arm, making your eyes widen as heat filled you and goosebumps rise on your exposed skin. his hands are rough, but they are gentle with you. “this is y/n l/n, shes in our biology lecture. i convinced her to come.” your face feels hot as he says your full name, did you ever even tell him your last name? how did he know?

the girl hums and looks at you with a confused expression, “oh, i don’t remember ever seeing her. anywhere. but alright, i’m tory.” she smiles concededly. you try and smile back and nod at her in acknowledgment, “nice to meet you, tory. i like your dress.” you say. socializing and making friends is a little difficult for you, but you try your hardest. it didn’t seem to work as she looks you up and down and doesn’t say anything.

chris clears his throat and recognizes the tense situation and dislike from tory towards you, “tory, maybe we could ease off of her, yeah?” his eyes narrow at her, and you see his hand gripping onto his cup harder. you feel embarrassed, but at the same time you feel grateful and appreciated by chris, and its nice.

tory stares at chris in shock before scoffing under her breath, “whatever.” she walks away after that, going into the living room where the party is at.

chris finally takes his hand off of your arm, and you both don’t realize it but you think the same thing.

i miss his touch.

i miss touching her.

“…thanks for that.” you mutter, swirling your lemonade in your cup. chris nods and glares in the direction that tory walked off in. “i never liked her.” he explains, “in high school she dated my brother, matt. totally broke his heart and was so mentally draining towards everyone.”

you furrow your brows and frown, now wishing you weren’t nice to her in the first place. “i’m sorry.”

chris shakes his head and smirks down at you, making you slightly flush. “oh, don’t you worry. we got her back. pranked her for years on end and held blackmail against her.”

your eyes widen and then you laugh, an actual belly laugh. chris stares at you and then starts laughing as well. its just easy when it comes to you.

“its so bad, but i love it.” you giggle, then you ask, “you have a brother? does he go here?”

chris is ecstatic and proud, since he can tell your coming out of your shell around him. he likes it… he likes you. “kind of, i’m a triplet. both of them chose different colleges though.”

you tilt your head in shock, “really? thats so cool, are you all identical?”

his heart skips a beat at the sparkle in your eye and the curiosity in your voice. “sure are. they look exactly like me, but we all have our differences.”

you nod, “i understand.”

suddenly a guy shouts into the kitchen, “hey chris! come play a game with us!”

chris looks at you, and you shrug even if your freaking out inside. you liked hanging out and talking with chris, but with a huge group of people? not your thing.

chris scrutinizes you and states, “you don’t want to, i can tell.”

you silently nod but then shrug again, “i’m fine with playing, only if its with you though.” you look away from him to hide your blush.

he grins and nods before pushing off of the counter, setting his cup down. you do the same and closely follow behind him into the living room. the music is low now, and a group of people are in a circle on the ground or sitting in chairs/couches.

chris dabs people up and nods in acknowledgment at others, and you feel like everyone is staring at you as you follow him like a lost puppy. no one says hi to you.

you sit down next to chris on a loveseat, scooting down your dress uncomfortably. chris notices and swiftly gets up, goes to the front door, grabs his jacket off the hook, and then walks back over. you look at him confused until he laid his jacket over your legs and sat back down like he didn’t just do the nicest thing ever for you.

you feel your heart pumping fast and your veins turn hot. the little gesture made your thighs clench underneath the jacket that smelled like his cologne. glancing over at chris, it only makes you more aware of your attraction towards him. his arm is over the back of the loveseat, his legs spread slightly open as he leans back comfortably.

you feel dirty and flustered thinking about him like this, then snap out of it when someone speaks up from the group.

“alright, lets play the classic truth or dare.” a guy grins. everyone agrees and they start going around in a circle, asking random people. some of them do dares, but they aren’t regular dares, they are sexual. there was a three way kiss, stripping, and licking whip cream off of someones stomach.

your lower stomach only got hotter, the undeniable ache between your legs getting stronger. your mind always went back to chris for some reason, wondering what kissing him felt like, or how his tongue would feel licking whip cream off your skin. you shift, and your thankful for the jacket covering your legs since it blocked the view of your thighs clenching.

chris notices though . he always notices the little things about you. believe or not, he had been admiring you from afar as well. he couldn’t help it, he was drawn to you, the quiet girl in the back of the class. whenever he was in lecture, his eyes would drift to you and observe. he knows you bite your lip when your nervous or thinking, and he knows your leg bounces when your anxious. he knows that you secretly laugh at his jokes behind your hand and that you feed the stray cat that roams around campus. yeah, it was safe to say he liked you a lot, and he notices you.

“the girl beside chris.”

your head snaps up and you gulp nervously. its a blonde guy that smirks at you. “y-yeah?”

“truth or dare?”

“uhm, truth?” you say, but its more like a question. you really prayed it wasn’t anything embarrassing.

he thinks for a moment. “whats the worst thing that has happened to you during sex.”

chris clenched his jaw at the thought of you having sex with someone. its a weird thought, thinking of you with someone else other than himself.

your face immediately is red as you look down at chris’ jacket. you pick at the thread on it and clear your throat. “u-uhm… thats a little personal?”

“come on, don’t be a buzzkill!”

chris glared at the guy, “cut it out, clayton. if she doesn’t feel comfortable saying then don’t pressure her.” he glowers slightly, making clayton raise his eyebrows.

“its truth or dare, man. no outs. she has to answer.”

chris furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “i’ve never had sex, so i can’t answer.” your eyes are squeezed shut in embarrassment as you grip onto the jacket for comfort. everyone goes silent and you think this is the moment you want the ground to swallow you whole.

chris blinks at you with wide eyes then his jaw is set and his eyes turn dark. his pants are starting to get tighter than before and his hand clutches onto the back of the loveseat. “fuck.” he hisses out, but he made sure he was quiet.

“wait, so you’re a virgin in college? have you even had your first kiss?” tory asks, crossing her arms in amusement. she was milking your humiliation for all its worth.

you tilt your head down and dont answer, which makes her laugh slightly. “wow, so your really inexperienced. how are you even here at this party?”

“tory, stop. i’m serious. i still have those screenshots in my hard drive.” chris speaks up and threatens, looking her straight in the eyes. it makes you peak your eyes open to look over at him. he smiled reassuringly at you, and it makes you feel a lot better, and a lot more needy.

“…lets just move on.” a random girl says, chuckling nervously.

the game continues, and chris lowers his voice to speak to you with no one listening. “are you okay? im sorry that was pressured out of you, ill kill clayton.”

you shake your head, “its fine.” you whisper.

“no, its not. especially with what tory said.” he grunts out then sighs. “i’m sorry.”

you hesitate, but scoot closer to him and smile gently. “its alright. thank you for defending me, not a lot of people do.” you hadn’t meant for it to come out so sad and lonely sounding.

chris bites his lip before nodding, “yeah, of course.” he breaths out.

your eyes dart to his, and you catch a glimpse of desire you had been looking for. your chest heaves slightly harder, your stomach burns, and your eyes glance to his lips.

“…follow me.” he abruptly stands and holds out his hand for you. you knew what would happen if you took his hand and followed him, but you wanted it too happen. you’ve never felt such an easy and instant connection as you have with him, so you don’t hesitate to grab his hand and leave his jacket behind.

some people stare in shock as he takes you up the stairs, but you can only stare at him.

chris quickly takes you to a bedroom and closed/locks the door behind the both of you. he backs you into the wall, hands coming up to slowly grip onto your hips. you nervously look up at him, not knowing what to say or do. you’ve never been touched like this by someone you liked, and it was building up a fire in you that burned your core. the desire for him was too much, you wanted him now.

he gazes down at you with dark eyes. “i’m so glad you came to this party.” he sighs out, his hands slithering around to rest on your lower back, sinfully close to your ass.

your breathing heavily, your hands clenching onto his biceps as you lean into his touch. “me too.” you whisper, your head tilted back onto the wall to look up at him.

it silent for a moment, letting you feel his hands travel over your dress and to your waist. "i really like you, you know?" he whispers, and for the first time you see him slightly bashful but still confident, and your stomach tingles in the best way.

your heart jumps to your throat at his confession and your legs tremble, a shaky but content smile reaches your lips, "really?"

chris nods slightly before leaning into your neck and lowly muttering into your skin, "and i really want to fuck you, too." his lips come into contact with your neck, pressing feather light kisses onto your sensitive spots. he moved closer to you, caging you against the wall.

your heavy gasps and panting mixed together, and the bedroom got hotter by the second. then, he hiked your dress up to your hips and traced his fingertips on the lace of your panties, getting closer and closer to where you were desperate for him.

you gasped and clung onto him, whimpering as his fingers lightly brushed your clothed clit, but then teasingly moved back to tracing the edge of your panties. “chris…”

“hm? what is it, baby?” chris smirked into your neck, his tone teasing and amused. he loved your needy little gasp and wanton whimpers flowing from your lips. his cock was pressing against his jeans at how sensitive you were, knowing that you were this way because he was the first to ever touch you like this.

“i’m nervous.” you murmur, shivering as hands go to your hips to softly grip them. you look up at him and bite your lip.

chris glances at your plump, wet lips and wishes he could ravish them. but then he reminds himself that he has to go slow and teach you some things. “no need to be nervous, i’m right here.” his thumbs massage right beneath your lace on your hips.

you gulp and look to the side, contemplating what you were about to do. “…are you just saying all of this so you can have sex with me?” you blurt out your insecure thoughts, and frown at the silence heavy in the air. did you ruin the mood?

“hey, look at me.” chris demands gently, hooking your chin and making you lock eyes with him. “i never say anything i don’t mean. i know we only met a couple days ago, but i’ve always noticed you.”

your face flushes even more than it already was, your hands hesitantly running up his stomach to his chest. “i noticed you too.” you whisper. he shivers at your touch and words before sighing contently, “i know, i see you staring.” he teases, chuckling as you look away in embarrassment once again.

“on a serious note, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. but if you want to continue, i wanna set a rule first.”

your eyes dart to him, searching for any sign on him lying about anything. there is none, only lust and fondness in his blue eyes as he looks at you. you nod, “alright, what is the rule?” you ask curiously, getting more bold and sliding your hands up his shoulders and around to his nape. you play with his hair slightly and see that he holds back a groan, which you save for later use.

“if you say yes, you’re mine.” his tone is serious and low, it makes your thighs clench and the burning in your stomach feelings like molten. “no dating, fucking, or seeing other guys. we would be exclusively only seeing each other, i don’t just do random hookups on a saturday night.”

you softly smile and nod, “me neither, obviously.” you mutter with slight embarrassment. he laughs and grins at you, “so, do you want to continue, baby?” he asks teasingly, leaning down closer to your lips.

you lick your lips and nod shyly, “yeah. i really do.”

chris hums and one of his rough hands travels to the top of your panties. his fingertips dip into the fabric, trailing across your lower stomach slowly. his eyes stare into yours, savoring your reactions and small noises.

your pussy clenched as his lips suddenly grazed your ear and he lowly whispered, “do you want my fingers, y/n?”

you whine shamelessly and nod, too worked up from a simple whisper and some light touching.

“yeah? then beg.”

holy fuck.

to be continued with actual smut… sorry its so long! i cant help but like the tension leading up to it

[gojoshotblackwife]

|| 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗍, 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋．

꥟ 𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖾 x 𝘢𝘧𝘢𝘣!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

꥟ 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗉𝖺𝗍𝗋𝗈𝗅, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖾, 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋．

☽ 𝗰𝘄: 𝟣𝟪+ 𝗆𝖽𝗇𝗂, 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗇𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁, 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗍𝗈𝗑𝗂𝖼!𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖾, 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 (𝗈𝖻𝗏𝗂), 𝖼𝗎𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗎𝗌 (r! 𝗋𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀), 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗆𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 (𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀) 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝖽 (𝗂𝖿 𝗎 𝗌𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗇𝗍), 𝘥𝘰𝘮!𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗂𝖾, 𝖼𝗎𝗆 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀

☆ 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 𝟤.𝟦𝗄

— 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝖻𝗎𝗒 𝗍𝗅𝗈𝗎𝟤, 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲! 🇵🇸 —

|| 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 while 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽！

you spend most of your days tending to the children of jackson. kissing boo-boos or cleaning up accidents. child care is your calling and you’re happy to contribute to your community, jackson, however possible.

your nights, however, consist of anxious pacing, impatience and (understandable) overthinking.

checking the digital clock on your lovers bedside, the glowing red numbers read ‘3:00 AM’ . as each minute passed you could feel your heart sinking deeper and deeper into your chest, imagining the endless endeavors your green-eyed girl could be facing at this very moment. oh how you fear for ellie’s life as if it were your own. your mind often flickers images of a world where you were more than the owner of jackson’s child care facility. a world where you didn’t have to sit and wait anxiously for the door to open like an abandoned puppy. you yearn to care for ellie like you care for those kids. to stay by her side and prevent the bruises and scars, not tending to them after the damage had already been done.

all the fingers and toes in the world couldn’t add up to the endless times you watched ellie stumble through her bedroom door, covered in scratches or riddled with bloodstains. too many times were you afraid to ask and too many times have you immediately rushed to her side to tackle her with little “i love you”s and “it’s okay”s before leading her to the bathroom, a warm wet rag in hand.

you almost hate yourself for the simple act of not being able to be there for ellie whilst she fought off deadly infected or dangerous looters. you knew you couldn’t go out there with her, hell you spent the entirety of your life inside jackson’s walls, coddled from the dangers that roam outside of them. you were never built for that shit. but ellie, she was made for it. you could tell from the moment you saw her, scuffed and dirty from her voyage with joel. she was an animal, in the best way possible. she was rough, and had character, more than you did anyways.

you ache imagining the day joel, tommy or dina would slowly march through jackson’s child care center, hat in hand with a grieving look you could read from a mile away. you can hear the ringing in your ear while you read lips that read “ellie is-”

the sound of squeaky door hinges shakes you from your thoughts, your head snapping up to meet tired, green orbs and a small smirk.

“angel. you stayed up for me?” ellie asks, an arm holding her side. she’s clearly hurt and doesn’t want you to see. rushing to her side, you’re careful not to squeeze or hold her too tight, afraid to worsen any of the injuries she’s obviously obtained throughout her patrol.

“ ‘so glad you’re safe. ‘was so worried” you mutter into her ear, arms slung over her shoulders. you can hear your girl chuckle as she takes her free arm to wrap it around your waist, relaxing into your touch. “i know babe, im so sorry i took longer than usual-“ she starts before you swiftly cut her off. “nono, please don’t apologize, don’t explain. it’s okay .” you let your head fall down, resting it on her shoulder, you were so glad to have your girl home. “are you hurt?- of course you are look at you.” you answer before ellie had the chance to respond, peering down at her slender frame. you feel tears begin to well up.

you look back up at ellie, who appears to be in just as much distress as you are. you don’t have to ask. you can just tell.

“please els, let me clean you up, then we can sleep. fuck, i can’t even imagine..” you trail off, grabbing her rough hand to lead her to the bathroom.

soft little thuds follow your comparatively silent ones. your clean soft feet lead ellie’s old dirty boots, slight creaks in the wooden floor of this old house you’d turned into a home with your girlfriend.

the sting of cold tile floors was enough to remind you to turn around, just a quick glance to make sure she was still there. orpheus envied you.

“ let’s take these boots off before we get in here?” you plead, slowly crouching on your knees to assist her with your request. if ellie’s heart somehow stopped beating in that moment she’d die happy knowing she had a woman who’d wait up for her on cold winter nights and fall to her knees to care for her. if her side didn’t hurt so bad, she’d probably laugh at how smitten she is with you, how content she is watching the muscles in your face contort to frustration, hunching over, and lost in concentration tugging at the shabby boots. finally, you manage to get them off her feet, a pair of mix-matched socks greeting you with scents of rain and sweat. you place them right outside the door before pulling yourself up, signaling ellie to finally enter the bathroom and hop up on the sink.

— ꥟ ꥟ ꥟ —

little words are exchanged, as you tend to ellie’s wounds. only an occasional wince or a heavy breath. shirt lifted, she gnaws on it to ease the inevitable pain. even still, you clean up, pat dry and bandage every small cut, every mahogany bruise— no questions asked. you two remain in comfortable silence as you scrub the shorter girl clean of her guilt and shame.

ellie keeps her head hung low. she tries concealing any hint of emotion, but her cringes of pain fail her that night.

“are you okay?” your freehand lays gently on her thigh, makes a home there.

ellie’s silence is telling. but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to know who or what did this to her. “ellie.” you demand, brown eyes searching for hers in return. a heavy sigh falls from your chapped lips, dry from the brittle december air. “please i just- im worried. i dunno what goes on out there but-“

“doesn’t fucking matter.” ellie finally grunts out, head lower than before. she doesn’t mean that. how could she mean that? “doesn’t matter? el this is the worst you’ve come home in months. what-“ your cries of concern are abruptly interrupted when the freckled girl hops off of the sink, pushing past you to make her way to her wardrobe. she angrily strips, as if furious at the clothes that keep her warm. jacket tossed and cargos flung, you pitter-pat after her. “ellie, if you’re upset i understand. but i cannot help you if you don’t talk to me.” you beg, desperation tainting your tone. in nothing but boxers, a bra and half finished bandages, she ignores every word, pretending not to hear you over the sound of her anxiously digging through clothes, solely focused on finding some pants to sleep in and forgetting this whole night ever happened.

“doesn’t. matter.” she repeats like those are only two words of english she can remember. pants found, she stomps into them. patience thinning, you grab her shoulder, keeping her put for the moment. you can’t help the tears that pour from you, your lip quivering while you ask, “why wouldn’t this—you—matter to me?”. ellie’s dark, green eyes meet your wet brown ones and she feels her soul crush. fuck, what is she doing? she’s being an asshole to you , the last person on this fucked up earth she’d ever intentionally hurt. and god, are you hurting, face pinching into unimaginable despair, your mind pondering over what you could’ve possibly done to be treated this way after countless nights of mending her broken wings, kissing her scars better.

finally broken at the sight of her sad girl, she admits, “i almost died.” the admission tore through her as she said it, she can feel the lump in her throat. you shudder at the thought, pulling her in close. breathing in her hair, her skin, anything you could to remind yourself that she’s here and not lying dead in the snow somewhere. “els” you whisper. “i don’t think i’d know what to do with myself if you left me.” falling into the crook of her neck once more, aching for her touch. as if on cue, ellie’s strong arms clench your waist, squeezing like it was the last time she’d ever get to touch you again. you pull back, teary eyed, awaiting something, anything, from ellie.

unable to form words, or thoughts even, she opens her mouth before attaching it to yours, hoping to communicate through intertwined tongues, swabbed spit and muffled moans. enough said, you reciprocate instantly. if this is how she wanted to “talk” about it, you’re more than willing to let her speak to you like this until the sun comes up.

ellie’s hands journey to your soft cheeks, caressing them before tightening her grip, head tilting to the side to search deeper, to find your deepest secrets and suck them out of you. you let her in, your darkest desires revealing themselves as your tongues melted into each other, sounds of exchanged spit overwhelming your burning hot ears.

it’s not too long before the backs of your legs are pressed up against the foot of ellie’s bed. accepting defeat, you pull your girlfriend down with you, letting her take you in any way she deems fit. swiftly, el peels your clothes from your perfect body. a clean canvas compared to ellie’s bruised masterpiece, she swears though, tonight she’ll leave you with a few brushstrokes colored shades of deep red with hints of purple, if you’re lucky.

bare now, you peer up at a sweaty, almost feral, ellie, face dangerously close to your own. while yet to utter a single word, she finds new inventive ways to speak to you: a firm hand on your doughy breast, kneading at you like a cat, an additional firm hand on your waist to keep you still and a secure thigh up against your throbbing core, quickly dampening at her touch.

she’s quick when she lowers her face into your aching neck. it begs for ellie’s mouth, and sighs of relief at the feeling of her soaked tongue, tracing small circles while her lips suck and slurp away at your delicate skin. you’re sensitive, so you’re fast to mewl out a weak cry of her name. arms taking their rightful place wrapped around her, one hand reaching up to her auburn hair and a second digging into her back responding to the added pressure on your clit. a needy little thing you are, squirming into ellie’s thigh whilst she moves down to your pert nipple, savoring your taste. you’re a mess. hair disheveled, you cup ellie’s face. you wanted—needed—her, pulling her face closer to utter a small “please”.

ellie gives you what you need, a sneaky hand trailing down past your tummy before landing at your dripping bliss, opening your clam to reveal the precious pearl inside. el teases you slow, but with intention, her middle and index appendages rubbing you where you liked it the most. ellie can’t help but bring her face down to get a better view of the mess she’s made of you. a cheeky smile spreads across her face. this is what matters. fuck whatever happened before she walked through the door, before she mistakenly treated you like shit. she wanted this, you.

muscle memory takes over when ellie replaces the fingers on your bud with the warm muscle in her mouth. her rough tongue hits every nerve, lapping away at you. what a thirsty dog she was, whimpering and whining into your messy cunt, devouring your essence like a final meal.

the room is already muggy and hot, your little huffs filling the air, an invisible cloud of your warm arousal gets all over the windows, makes them foggy.

a broken moan falls from your precious lips, a melody from heaven to ellie’s ears. she craves to hear more of your sweet music, letting her fingers slide into you, plucking your strings. she plays you like her favorite guitar, maneuvering her fingers to play the perfect chord. utter bliss is the only emotion you’re capable of feeling. your hands journey down your person to meet ellie’s head in the middle. fingers perfectly fitting into auburn locks of hair, you rein her in, riding her face like she rode shimmer on those almost-fatal patrols.

your legs tense up at the feeling of your inevitable orgasm, and too soon did it come, picking you up before releasing you to white lights and blurring vision. repeated chants of “fuck, ellie fuck fuck fuck-” flood ellie’s bedroom, bouncing off the walls and into ellie’s ears as she curls up into your special spot, no intention of stopping anytime soon.

you shake and beg but to no avail, your green-eyed girl tears daggers into you, looking up oh-so innocently, her digits increasing her speed as she drinks up your release, drunk on it. overstimulation upon you, you search for something—anything— to free yourself of ellie’s grip, her forearm keeping you glued to the bed. completely spent, your best bet is weak pushes to ellie’s head, shaking your own as you squeak out a frail “too much. please el.” at last, she lets up, that same strong forearm releasing its grip to rub your abdomen, you catch a glimpse of the moth tatted there in ink before throwing your head back, exhaustion catching up to you after a long day of caring for the children of jackson, and an even longer night of waiting up for ellie.

roles reversing, ellie understands now that it’s her turn to take care of you . in her own way of expressing gratitude, she lifts you into her arm, silently thanking you in her head for staying up late with her, cleaning her up or listening to stories of her day. and before you can even think twice, ellie places you gently on your side of the bed, warm comforter embracing your bare figure. you’re half asleep when you hear ellie walk away, returning with water. without a word, she puts the glass in your face, urging you to hydrate. very slowly, you take the glass with both hands, slowly blinking while you down it to satisfy ellie. and satisfied she is, taking the glass from your tired hands, placing it on the bed side table.

at the brink of sleep now, you’re finally able to succumb when you feel ellie crawl into bed behind you, rugged hands tethering you close, slim arms holding you tight. it is only then, once she hooks a chin onto your shoulder, do you hear her whisper before falling asleep:

“‘m sorry. i love you.”

— ꥟꥟꥟ —

𝗱𝗶𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: 𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒’𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝖼. 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀 <𝟥𝟥

© 𝗀𝗈𝗃𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗍𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗐𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦

[hiddenzev]

Second Confession: Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: She finally confesses her feelings to Joel

Chapter Warnings - Angst, One-sided love, Unrequited Love, Idiots in Love, (let me know if i missed anything)

WC: 4.2k

series masterlist , AO3

A/N: Damn guys, I didn't expect a lot of people to like this story. Thank you for all the likes and comments!! Anyway, please excuse my poor writing :(( I'm trying my best. There might be a few mistakes I've missed. I really wanted to make it so angsty but i'm lacking it sadly. Hope you guys enjoy this next part tho. :)

The rising sun is up painting the sky with beautiful rosy hue this morning. Compared to the beautiful morning, you didn’t get to have a good sleep. You were tossing and turning in your bed overthinking about today. It’s your first patrol with Joel and there’s some many thoughts running through your head playing out how it may go. You make your way, noticing that Joel must have left his house already as you pass by his house.

As you reach the ranch, you notice that Joel is checking the horse while Tommy is by his side saying something to him. Maria is standing further away with another horse which you believe to be in your care for patrols.

Maria notices you and calls you out. Both men turn to look at your form coming closer. Joel takes a quick glance at you before returning his attention back to his horse. You exchange greetings with Maria before walking over to the men.

“Morning!” You greet them.

“Morning. How are you feeling?” Tommy asks you.

“Not bad.” you lied. You’re used to doing patrols but this time it’s different because of a certain man.

“I’ve told this guy to look out for you out there, not that I think you’re not capable of taking care of yourself,” Tommy rambles on beside Joel.

“That’s fine. I get it Tommy,” You gave him a small smile.

“We’re just looking out for you because you’re our friend and this guy has a certain reputation of him y’know.” Tommy says without any care that his brother is next to him listening to what he says.

You nod and cautiously glance at Joel who has his back on you. You pick up your courage to talk to him.

“Hi Joel.” trying to hide the slight tremble in your voice to sound normal.

Joel turns slowly before stepping closer to you. Your eyes are on him the entire time. It’s insane how you are lost in his honey brown eyes that you are seeing up close for the first time since you’ve known him. You can’t help but hold your breath when he bend down slightly to look you in the eyes.

“You better not slow me down. Don’t think that just because you’re good friends with Tommy and Ellie, I will go easy on you,” he pause, “because I won’t.”

You stare at him for a few seconds before you speak, “Didn’t tell you to go easy on me.” You said in a calm voice. You are not that affected by what he said because you knew his grumpy ass is annoyed with you joining him for patrols.

His eyes widen slightly with a certain glint in his eyes. You find it cute seeing him flustered. Not wanting to break into a smile, you turn to go to your horse by Maria.

“You ready to go?” Maria asks you.

“Yup all good,” you say while inspecting your horse.

“What did you say to him? He seems pissed off,” Maria eyes Joel “Can’t stop looking over here.”

You shrug your shoulders while stroking the horse’s neck.

“You know how he is,” you smile affectionately at the horse.

“You’re sure you gonna be ok with him out there?”

“Yes I’m sure, Maria. You know me.” You reassure her.

They know that you mostly keep to yourself and mind your own business most of the time. You’re more of an observer than anything else. You try not to be socially awkward but you can’t help it sometimes. However, you don’t take any shit from anyone. You will stand up for yourself if anyone disrespect you or your loved ones. You’re not a pushover, you can be stubborn sometimes and you know exactly what you want.

Both you and Joel mount the horses and make your way to the gates with Joel leading the way. You exchange a few words with Tommy and Maria before getting out of there.

It was silent the whole time with Joel in the woods. The man didn’t even make a sound, not even a sigh. Instead, the sounds you can hear are the soft rustling of leaves when the calm morning breeze hits them, the faint chirps of the birds, the crunch of leaves and twigs below you and more of the subtle, soothing sounds of the nature.

You try to focus on checking your surroundings but your gaze will always land on Joel’s broad back in front of you. You openly observe him from behind, looking at every one of his curls that you wish you could touch. You wish to caress his head slowly, taking your time to really feel him on your fingertips. Oh you so badly wish to press your body against his back, wrap your arms around his torso and take in his scent. You can only wonder how it would feel.

You close your eyes for a few seconds to will yourself to not think about him this way.p right now. The silence from him kills you. You try to break the silence by striking a conversation.

“The weather’s good this morning, don’t you think?”

No response from him, prompting you to keep talking.

“Don’t you feel guilty appreciating something simple like the weather during a world like this?”

He is still staying silent.

“Do you love music?”

This time, he turn his head slowly to look at you with a hard glare before opening his mouth.

“Do you ever stop talking?” He said it sarcastically.

“Geez, I only asked 3 questions man.” You muttered under your breath looking away from him.

“What?” His eyes you narrowly after seeing you mumbling to yourself.

You look at him again with a forced smile.

“Nothing. I’ll keep quiet.”

He turn his body around, giving his horse a gentle nudge to quicken its pace.

The rest of the patrol with Joel is just him telling you off a couple times when he catches you not being alert enough. You can’t complain because it’s your fault for not focusing on the task, getting distracted in your own thoughts of your partner right there.

You don’t actually mind his attitude out here because him calling out your mistakes only means that he cares about your safety. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit. Compared to his approach on other things, he teaches you some tips in a gentler way.

Patrol duty isn’t your favourite because you hate the risk of being out here but there isn’t any choice when there is only a limited amount of manpower for this dangerous duty. You have worked with a couple of people over the years for patrol and weirdly you feel the safest with Joel and it’s only your first day with him.

The patrol shift ends the same way as it started. Masked with the heavy air of stillness with Joel Miller. You’re assuming that he’s using this patrol to probably feel you out to see your skills and make sure you’re strong enough to be his partner. You on the other hand, were busy checking him out with any opportunity that you can. It’s embarrassing at this point.

After the shift handover with the next patrollers, the horses are return to the ranch to be taken care of. Joel went off first after giving you a slight nod. You stay awhile back to be with the horses. You strangely feel proud seeing that he acknowledges you this time. Him giving you not even the bare minimum of manners and you’re out here having your heart flutters over it. Damn. He really have you wrapped around his little finger and he doesn’t even know it.

You heard footsteps behind you as you look emptily at the horses feeding themselves.

“Hey!” Ellie exclaim.

“Hey,” you say with a tired smile on your face.

“Where’s Joel?”

“You just missed him. He left a couple minutes ago,”

“How’s your first patrol with him?” A sly smile on her face that you didn’t catch as you look away from her.

“Unexpectedly, not bad,”

“See! I told you that you can stand his ‘grumpy old man’ attitude!” She smile knowingly.

“What evidence do you have to say that?” Your eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“Intuition,” she winks at you.

“Yeah, right.” You rolled your eyes and slowly make your way out of the ranch. Ellie follows behind you closely before getting next to you. She keeps looking at you with a mischievous grin on her face. You put your arms over her shoulders pulling her in and jokingly put her in a headlock. She giggles loudly and that make you laugh as well.

You have been on a couple of patrols with Joel after that. He is not as tense as the first patrol and have been more open than before. Well, slightly but that is still something. Like you have expected, he’s someone who is just misunderstood. You like that you get to see different sides of him through the patrols.

As time goes on, you try to figure out the right time to tell him your feelings that are only getting stronger. There were some opportunities when there were only the two of you alone that you still couldn’t take.

To be honest, you plan to give him a little gift. Before the outbreak, you love to collect random little stuffs that you find cute or interesting. You still do that after the outbreak while you are out finding supplies.

There is this one guitar pick in your collection that has a design that you find cute but corny at the same time and you want to give it to him. You’re sure he’s not going to be amused with it but you do want to see his reaction to seeing it.

You did hear from Ellie one time that Joel likes to do some wood carvings and that recently he’s starting to do wood carvings of chess pieces. Ellie doesn’t know what chess is. She only know that it is a board game from what Joel had said and she is looking forward to learn it after he finish working on it.

With that information, you secretly start to practice carving chess pieces from wood that you can find or attain from someone in the community. You have finished one perfect piece of a horse. The horse piece is the most difficult one to do as it has more complicated details unlike the rest of the pieces. You hope that at least this would open his heart a little bit more for you.All you need to do is to get a chance to be alone with him and just go for it.

You’re in the tipsy bison, alone, conflicted with how you’re going to go about this. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you turn to look over it to see Tommy smiling softly at you. He slides into the chair opposite you with his drink.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t they?” You tried to give a convincing smile.

“How long have we known each other, huh? I know when there’s something bothering you. You know you can tell me anything right?”

You look down on your hands, don’t know whether to confide in him about Joel.

“Is it Joel?”

You raise your head looking at him with wide eyes, shocked by what he said. Too stunned to speak, you just look at him with your mouth slightly parted.

“I’ve been noticing some things and let me hold your hand telling you this,” he reaches out to hold one of your hands, “it’s kinda obvious,”

“Really?” You ask him softly.

“It is to me since we’re close and I’m actually a little hurt that you didn’t tell me. I thought I’m your closest friend here,” he jokingly put his hand over his heart.

“I didn’t tell anyone especially not you since you’re his brother. I don’t know how you would feel about that y’know. Just thought it was just a silly little crush that would go away after a short period of time but here I am,” you tell the truth.

“How long?”

“Ever since he’s been here,” you softly said, avoiding looking at him, shy about your year long crush on his brother.

“Damn, should have told me. I could help you out a lil bit,”

“How? I think you would have made it worse.” you chuckle at him.

He laughed out loud. You're glad that Tommy doesn't find any problem with your crush on his big brother.

"Are you gonna tell him? cause damn girl, a year is crazyyyyy" He sips on his drink.

"That's the problem, Tommy. I don't know how to and you know him better than I do. He ain't gonna be nice about it,"

"True. He's stubborn and is an asshole most of the time but he do have a good heart somewhere inside him. I know that. I'll help you and maybe after all this time, you're the one that could crack him."

Since then, Tommy has been creating chances for you to be alone with Joel. Getting the both of you alone at the end of breakfast, putting the both of you in other duties together, excusing himself when there’s only the three of you in the bar, etc. Tommy doing all of this only makes it so obvious to the both of you on his intention and it makes it more awkward to be around Joel.

During the time when you are stuck with him, you did try to break the ice more but he’s still the same cold and distant Joel. Not wanting to stay with you much longer, he would try to get away as fast as possible avoiding as much interaction with you.

Ellie caught you and Tommy talking one time at your back porch. You were telling Tommy to not interfere anymore because it’s getting awkward with Joel and Tommy were insisting on inviting everyone for dinner at his house at the end of the week. Both of you were so caught up in the conversation that you didn’t realise Ellie came looking for you.

“Come on, it’s just a dinner. We’ve had some dinner nights at my house before,” Tommy persuading you.

“Yeah but now you’re going to have something up your sleeves to push me and Joel together or something. I don’t know. It’s awkward man!”

“What’s so awkward?” Ellie’s voice startled you and Tommy. She came out from the side of the house and slowly made her way to stand between where you and Tommy were sitting.

Tommy and you just looked at each other, don’t know what to say to Ellie.

“If it’s about you and Joel, I already knew that.” she shrugged her shoulders sitting on your porch’s steps.

Still on edge, you and Tommy did not say anything.

“I have eyes, I see how you look at him. In fact, you ALWAYS look at him,” she chuckled looking at your shocked expression.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you told her to stop talking, feeling shy that your friends have been suspecting your feelings for Joel all this time.

“You look at him like he’s the most beautiful person in this world,” she imitated a vomiting motion after saying that.

“Ellie!” you hid your face with both of your hands while Tommy and Ellie laughed at you.

“With your big mouth, I can’t believe you never said anything to me about it,” you continued after their laugh subsided.

“I wasn’t exactly sure and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you give her a small comforting smile. “So are you gonna tell him?”

“Most likely,”

“What do you think he’s gonna say?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s gonna like it. No matter what the outcome is, what really matters is he knows that at least there’s one more person in this world that actually cares about him.” you sigh heavily.

The three of you said your goodbyes that night after Tommy and Ellie gave you some encouragement about the whole situation.

Dinner at Tommy’s is like the calm before the storm. Joel is seated between you and Ellie. Maria who is sitting across you is talking with Tommy about their plans to decorate their extra room for their baby. You’re excited for them. You feel a little envious as you don’t think you will ever find a love like that in this apocalypse. You have always dreamed of starting a family. Right now, it is just a faraway dream that you could never hope to come to reality.

Your legs keep shaking nervously under the table. You’re always nervous around Joel but sitting beside him for this long is just making it worse. Additionally, you have the gift that you prepared for him in the side pocket of your cargo pants. After adding a letter to the two little gifts, you wrapped it up in a small nice paper packaging that you can find. Ever since then, you carried it around with you, don’t know when you will find the right time.

Picking at your food mindlessly, you feel a big strong hand on your right thigh. You immediately stop shaking and look down to your thigh. It’s none other than the man himself. You shift your gaze to him seeing that he’s already looking at you. He leans in a slightly and whispers,

“Stop it.” he immediately removes his hand and continues to eat his food right after telling you off.

Speechless, you force food down your throat as if it will get rid of his lingering touch on your thigh. You’re more aware of your legs now and you try your best to not shake your legs subconsciously. Although a part of you wishes to do it so that you can feel his hand on your thigh again.

You didn’t talk much for the rest of the dinner, distracted by what had happened. Tommy tries to make eye contact with you a couple times to signal something to you. You avoid looking at him so that he takes the hint to stop whatever kind of ideas in his head right now.

Dinner ended in a peaceful way thankfully. There were some dinners before that ended with some arguments usually between Joel and Ellie or Tommy and Joel. On those dinners, you just look on and try not to interfere at all unless it gets too far.

Ellie has already went off to find her friends for movie night. Tommy and Maria are slowly cleaning things up while you and Joel try to help them a little bit. They insist that they don't need any help from you guys and thank the both of you for coming to dinner.

That's how you ended up in this situation where you and Joel are walking back home together. As usual, there wasn't much talking. The conversation died after you talked about how great dinner was and he agreed. You didn't walk long before both of you reach the front of his house first.

"G'nite." he clears his throat before saying softly under his breath. Not waiting for your reply, he turns to walk to his front door.

"Sorry about earlier." you quickly said. You meant that you were sorry about shaking your legs that it bothered him.

He stops walking halfway to his front door and turns to you.

"It's fine. Didn't mean to touch you. It was bothering me. Sorry." his eyes were on you for a few seconds at first before darting anywhere else other than you. He walks away to his front door. You don't know overcame you. Maybe you're just riding the good energy from tonight, you take a few steps closer to him and calls him.

"Umm, Joel," you call him.

He stops before putting his house key in. He turns back around not saying anything. He’s waiting for you to continue what you have to say. You walk to the front of his steps nervously.

“I want to tell you something.” You look up eyeing his movements. He sighs before making his way down the steps to stand in front of you. You awkwardly stands there for a moment before remembering his gift. You take it out and hand it over to him.

“This is for you. Thought you might like it,” you look at him inspecting the small wrapped gift in his hands.

“What is it?” he looks at you with his brows knitted in confusion.

“Well you have to open it to find out,” you put your hands in your front pockets to hide your fists that are clenching due to the tension.

“Why? Why are you giving me this?” he looks at you with unwavering eyes. You look down at your shoes to avoid looking in his eyes that make it seem as if he could read whatever is on your mind. Your voice is stuck in your throat with the words that you want to say are on the tip of your tongue.

“What do you want from me? Do you need something in return for this?” He asks thinking that the gift is some kind of a trade deal.

“No. Nothing like that.” You shake your head looking at the gift in his hands.

“Then what?”

Your brain is running in full speed, contemplating if this is the right moment to confess to him. You’re swaying from side to side, eyes darting everywhere except the brown eyes in front of you.

“I don’t have the time for this,” he sighs heavily turning his body to walk back to the door.

“I like you,” you blurt it out quickly, panicking that you just said those words out loud to him.

“What?” he turns back to you in a flash, not believing what you had just said.

You pause for a moment to calm yourself down and gather your thoughts. You take a deep breath before speaking.

“I like you, Joel. I don’t know exactly when or how but gradually, my mind has been flooding with thoughts of you ever since you came here. I’ve known you for a year now and these feelings are not going away at all. I thought it’s time for me to let it all out before it’s too late. I don’t want to regret not telling you that I do care about you. More than you know. I know you may think this is silly and I don’t expect anything from you-“

“You’re right. Don’t expect anything from me.” He interrupts you with a harden look in his eyes now.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking but let me clarify it again for you,” he closes the gap between the two of you and look straight into your eyes. You can’t help but to tilt your head up more, not able to tear your eyes away from him.

“There’s nothing between us. It never will be anything other than you being Tommy’s friend or Ellie’s friend to me. I’m just tolerating you for their sake. Without them, you’re just another person in Jackson that I don’t give a fuck about.” you lower your gaze to his chest. You predicted that he is going to be worked up about this but hearing that he actually doesn’t care about you kinda hurt your feelings a little.

“Wake up, darling. We’re in the apocalypse and you’re out here telling me about your little crush on me. This is stupid. I thought you’re better than this. I already have a lot on my plate to be dealing with this bullshit.” he sighs, raising his head to look at the dark sky.

All kinds of emotions are running through you. You knew this would happen. You knew that he will criticise you for it but you still did it. You thought that you could take it but your sensitive little heart betrayed you. Why are you sad for even disappointing him?

“Take this back.” He shoves your gift to your front, waiting for you to take it from him.

Your hands still in your pockets, you stayed still. You feel so embarrassed that you cannot move your body.

“Fine. Whatever.” he drops the gift right in front of your feet and walk to his door.

You hear keys jingling before the door opens and not long after that the door slam shut. You’re frozen in your place still staring at the gift below you. The images of the past year runs through your head. The amount of time spent thinking about him, wondering if he’s okay or not, secretly listening to him playing guitar and to you making the effort to gift him something he would like. All the little things amounted to this at the end.

Suddenly, you feel the anger rise inside of you. You feel so stupid. Why of all people, it must be Joel that you have feelings for? You feel angry at yourself for feeling this way. You don’t even blame Joel because he’s right. This isn’t the time to be occupied with stupid little feelings.

With jaws clenched, you pick up the wrapped gift and throws it hard against his front door. Fuck this. You don’t care what he’s going to say. You walk off angrily with long strides back to your house. In your head, you think that at least you said your feelings for him truthfully. It’s done and dusted. Time for you to move on from him.

next part

Thank you for reading this chapter! The next update probably will be in a week or so, hopefully!

Taglist: @greenwitchfromthewoods @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama

[mochinomnoms]

Ooo here’s an interesting thought for you. So you know how, in the interspecies romance, you mentioned how Jade and Floyd would still kinda ‘bully’ a potential partner? Can you imagine if that person were an overthinking type? Like the ‘mean’ interactions make them think that either of the tweels just do NOT like them.

Basically misunderstandings abound.

Floyd gifts them a tooth; are they next?? Jade gives a poisonous (but pretty/rare) mushroom; is this a threat??

Could also just be a person who has a difficult time interpreting social cues, or flirting.

But either way, the poor object of their interest starts avoiding them and is so confused by the mixed signals. So they go up to Azul or something and ask if they’ve made the respective tweel angry or something. Because they thought they were getting along???

Just a poor confused bean.

Anyway sorry that was long but I just thought it was an interesting concept. 😂

As someone whose autism severely impacted their understanding of social norms, I feel this on a deeply spiritual level. In the partner's defense, the twins are just generally intimidating and take delight in scaring their peers. They say the most out of pocket shit and it's hard to tell when they're being serious or joking (they also have a tad bit of the tism). Poor Azul would be so tired of having to deal with a potential eel mate asking him to call off his right/left-hand men, they don't have a contract with him anymore, so why are they threatening them with loose teeth and poisonous mushrooms?? Azul!! Make them stop!!!

(He briefly considers staying out of it. It would do them some good to suffer through their pining until they have the common sense to look up human dating and woo methods. But they are his friends that he actually cares quite deeply for his employees whose moods are affecting productivity, so he'll explain it to you, and then go give them a good wack in the head for being stupid.)

Floyd is the more likely of the two to not look up human courting and dating methods. He's more of the kind of guy that's hoping you will get what he means by vibe alone. Like that manifesting stuff Cater goes on about. You'll have to be particularly perceptive to notice that he squeezes you a bit softer, looks at you with hearts in his eyes a bit longer than more, and notice that he slips up and calls you by your name instead of Shrimpy; he's surprisingly subtle with his growing affections. Jade would have definitely research ahead of time, plus he's very perceptive of others and their emotions around him. He'll probably be able to tell that you're not getting his advances, but on the other hand, it would be so funny to see how long it takes for you to catch on. He'll make fun of you in the future on how you “strung along a poor eel's heart, waaahhhh!” while he pined after you with foraged and handmade gifts, classic merfolk courting! That, or you accidentally start dating/a friends-with-benefits situation, both of you misunderstanding the other's intentions. It would take some incredible denseness and misunderstanding on both your parts for that to happen, which is a lot easier than you think when it comes to Jade “Keep them Guessing” Leech. Truly, a man can be too confident with regard to love, please tell him this or else you'll spend at least four months in a relationship before realizing it.

[ovaryacted]

PAIRING: Jackson! Joel Miller x f! reader || WC: 1.0k CW: NSFW/18+ content below. Oral sex (f! receiving). Premature ejaculation. Kinda touch deprived & sub! Joel Miller.

I haven’t been able to work on my WIPs because I’ve been stressed about life and stuff. So take this little drabble of some thoughts about that old man Joel Miller adjusting to living in Jackson that I wanted to share earlier. This can also be interpreted as a little character analysis but yeah. [Note: not proofread, I wrote this off the top of my dome.]

So I know a lot of people like making Joel Miller as this #realfucker and #realeater that knows how to fuck and I love that shit! LUV IT! CAUSE PEEPAW LIKES TO FUCK! But I also like to imagine the alternative: Joel Miller in Jackson not knowing what to do when it comes to doing the nasty, so he has to re-learn everything.

Now, do not get me wrong, I don’t not think Joel Miller is a smart and cunning man, and usually I characterize him as such cause I just think that’s part of his natural personality. But when you think about it, a man as closed off as him who’s been through so much and lost so much after the apocalypse probably doesn’t know what to do with himself when he reaches a point in his extended life where he can actually take a breath.

I like to think that while he was in the Boston QZ!, there is no doubt that he didn’t do much outside of smuggling and kill people. He didn’t have the time to mess around, didn’t know how to appreciate fucking or even miss it, and I also imagine that while he did have Sarah pre-outbreak, he was too busy working to date anyway so having sex was out of the question.

But when he meets Tess and builds that partnership, they probably got frisky a couple of times, because what else are you going to do when the world has gone to shit? However, when they both did this, it’s a mutual agreement that it’s more of a physical release than anything else. That was his only partner for so long that the moment he reaches Jackson with Ellie and actually tries to live again, he doesn’t know how to.

He’s relatively closed off, sticks to his own for the most part and relearns how to be a functioning member of society. He does his part during the patrols, hunts with Tommy when needed, does his little carpentry projects, plays his guitar, takes in the simple pleasures of what he thinks can be a good life if he sticks to it.

But relationships and sex? That’s so far gone from his mind that he doesn’t think much about people approaching him, trying to pursue him even for companionship. Here is this old man with hands capable of killing anyone who comes within a foot distance of him, not knowing what to do or how to respond when someone flirts with him.

Joel Miller isn’t an idiot, far from it, but he’s sort of aloof and hardheaded. He can read people and situations proficiently, and yet when he manages to allow someone to get close enough to touch him, he doesn’t know what to fucking do with himself.

Doesn’t remember how to kiss, where to put his hands, what to even do with his dick. He’s touch deprived and a mess, though he knows what he can do because it comes back like it’s muscle memory, he doesn’t comprehend that now he doesn’t have to rush through it. He can enjoy the experience, he can want and need things freely without having to constantly look over his shoulder every couple of seconds.

You’d have to gently coax him into things to stop him from overthinking and just let him act based off of what he feels. Hold his cheek and jaw as you kiss him slowly, telling him it’s okay to touch you, to let his hands roam and grip wherever he wants. Holding his head against your neck as he kisses and nips at your skin, grinding his hips into you and feeling the burning arousal settling in his lower belly.

When Joel finally manages to strip you of your clothes and get in between your legs, he can’t help himself and silently admires your pussy, not even daring to touch you yet until his mind has taken a perfect screenshot of your body, head resting against your thigh.

Gently, you wrap your fingers around his thick wrist, guiding his digits to your wet heat and letting him probe and touch you just the way you like. He gets more bold, more curious, absentmindedly kisses your sensitive clit and begins to learn what makes you tick.

Moderate rocks of your hips against the crooked bridge of his nose, encouraging tugs on his graying curls, and your nails digging into the nape of his neck are all the signs he's looking for to know that he’s doing something right, that he’s still got it in him to bring somebody pleasure. But what sends Joel into overdrive is what you say as you praise him.

“Right there baby, doing so good for me.”

“Add another finger in, I can take it.”

“Yeah, just curl your fingers, just like that.”

“Fuck…you feel so damn good Joel.”

Joel. Joel. Joel.

Hearing his name on your lips when you hit your climax is what propels him into his own, body shaking as he groans loudly against your cunt. The material of his denim jeans are stained with an obvious wet spot now, hazel eyes glancing at you in a slight daze as you bring his head up away from your body. He’s a little embarrassed when he looks at you, blushed cheeks and plump lips glistening with your slick as he offers you a bashful smile.

You drag him back down to kiss him passionately, chasing the taste of your release on his tongue and caressing it with your own. He pants against you, rough hands gripping on to your bare hips for grounding. When you pull away from him, you’re damn near sure that you heard Joel whimper from the sudden distance.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you whatever you want. Whatever you need.”

Life in Jackson isn't so bad after all.

©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

[birks-latest-obsession]

mystery trio college stuff

my brain is rotting like Fidds' i stg. anyways I can't stop thinking about a slightly happier version of gf where Ford takes Stan to bmu with him and they and Fidds become the mystery trio and it won't leave my head so here are the dumb thoughts:

Stan still gets kicked out like usual cause his dad is still an ass but Ford goes after him and convinces him to come to college with him, Stan is super against it at first cause he doesn't think he's smart enough but Ford convinces him he can do it.

Ford studying what he usually does and Stan studying business management to become an even better conman.

Alternatively Stan studying law and so knowing allll of the legal loopholes and being able to talk his way out of any problems Ford gets them into.

Fidds being unable to tell the two apart for like the entire first month.

The rest of the college not being able to tell the two apart at all cause Ford still holds his hands behind his back a lot of the time.

Like fr the only way they could tell them apart was by asking them to recite the digits of pi and seeing who could actually do it.

Then one day Stan starts memorizing the digits of pi just to fuck with the rest of the school.

Stan knowing that Fidds and Ford liked each other before they even realise themselves.

And Stan teasing the everloving hell out of Ford for it

And Ford is all "I have no idea what you mean Stanley!?" until one day it clicks and he's all "...oh shit you're right."

Stan calls Ford "Stanford." And Ford calls Stan "Stanley." And Fidds calls them both dumbasses.

Okay but Fidds giving them both a million and one nicknames to help himself distinguish at the start because "who tHE FUCK HAS TWINS AND CALLS THEM BOTH STAN???" but the names just stick and get progressively more cursed and just make everyone else at the college more confused.

Like Fidds has used: Stan jr, Stan snr, Ford, Lee, Wizzlord, Conman, Speccy, Firecracker, Fluff, The short one™, The hot one, The hotter one, Pillow, Nut, The Oracle, Jar, 10 Marshmallows, 20 Marshmallows, Curse bringer, Beef, Harbinger of death. And no I'm not going to tell you which twin has which names (Stan gets called Dumbass, Ford get's called Dumber-ass)

Fidds doing mechanical engineering or something and being the unwilling catalyst for all of the twin's crackhead invention ideas.

And yes I said twins plural. Because Ford is academically smart but Stan is creatively smart (legal loopholes yo, you gotta be creative) and gives crucial input on the designs that the other two spend loads of time overthinking then Stan points out the Ockham's razor and they feel like idiots (cause they are) (affectionatly.)

ahdhudshsawejskl I have too many feeling about these old men that deserved better

[yooglefics]

Intentions don’t mean much.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!partner Wordcount: 670 words Genre: Angst. Hurt / comfort. Established relationship. Song drabble. Summary: Yoongi is having some bad days and, in the end, deciding to keep it to himself to not worry his partner is not the best idea. More info under read more.

Includes: Mentions of bad mental health, implied depression. Nothing too dark but Yoongi overthinks a lot. Lack of communication. Author's note: A little drabble inspired by The Craving ( Jenna's version ) because I just had to write something after listening to it. Is pretty short but I kind of like it as is, because it can be read with the song in the background uwu. Hope you like it! If you do please remember to leave a reblog, like, follow, comment or send an ask, donate on ko-fi and what not. As always, thank you for reading <3

He is scared of putting too much weight on her shoulders, of driving her crazy because of his thoughts, and fears; the problems in his head, the ones that don't even have anything to do with her.

On bad days he tries to be reassuring. Holding her hand while sharing a cup of coffee and cuddling with her on the couch. Yes, it’s a bit selfish because it does good to him too, knowing she is with him even when his psyche reminds him of the possibility that they, too, are part of something temporary. That it could end sooner than expected, which is not much to say since he doesn't want it to end at all.

Is not that he doesn't believe she loves him, of course not. He believes everything she says, even the little conspiracy theories she rambles about at night in their bedroom. But, his brain tells him, life is unpredictable and the world goes around and around and around and…

When it gets too bad he spends most hours of the day in his studio. Even sleeps (or at least tries to) there. She brings him lunch and he kisses her cheek or forehead, sweetly and full of love. An attempt to not worry her.

Some nights, as he lays on the leather couch, he hopes she will knock on the door, looking for him and asking him to come to bed. He would say yes, even if that meant just playing with her hair as she fell asleep on his chest while he lays with his eyes open and his mind never shooting down.

But it doesn’t happen. 

Is still dark outside when he hears her socket steps against the wooden floors, the beeps and trumps of the coffee machine following close behind, and he decides to join. 

“Isn't it too early for coffee?” he asks, leaning in the doorway.

“Is six, just one hour early.”

“Oh.” 

“How did you sleep?”

He keeps quiet, a bit confused with himself as to how he didn't realize so much time passed.

“Did you sleep?” She asks instead, tone different this time and he doesn't like something in it.

“Don't worry about it.” He tries to dismiss, coming closer and wrapping his arms around her waist, chin resting on her shoulder while they wait for the melancholy sounds announcing their beverage is ready.

But a sniff comes instead.

It takes a second for his tired brain to register it, yet is quick to react when she tries to move away, hugging her firmly against his chest. “What is it?”

“Nothing. Is silly.” she murmurs back.

“Tell me anyway?”

“Is just… after so long, I don’t know a lot about you still. And I wish I did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry about it. I don’t know what just—” 

“Hey,” he softly calls out, turning her around as he looks for her gaze, “don’t apologize for it. Is on me, I’m going through some shit but I’m okay.”

She worries her lip between her teeth before asking, “Have you slept at all in the last few days?”

“A little bit.” Pretty vague, not wanting to bring concern around his insomia. But her eyes get glossy again and his open in surprise. In realization that doing that is what is upsetting her. He hates that. “I slept a couple hours yesterday after lunch, maybe that’s why I’m still awake.”

“You aren't tired then?”

A different kind, he thinks. And considers answering that while she fixes his hair, but he still isn't sure. “Maybe you just need to do that for a while so I don't wake up until tomorrow.”

That makes her smile and her eyes fall to his again. But is hard to ignore the bags under them and the bigger issues. “I'm going to the store later, I'll bring you that tea we saw the other day. We can drink that before going to bed and see if it helps. Deal?”

“Deal.”

♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @sexytholland , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @itsmina29 , @nariee02 , @ktownshizzle .

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[asherraccoon]

More Vox HCs bc I love him <3

*Slaps Vox on the head* You can fit SO MUCH ANGST into this bad boy!

1. Vox used to be a lot more happy and cheerful and upbeat back when he and Alastor where friends. Alastor made him feel genuinely happy. So after their falling out, Vox kinda just... stopped feeling real happiness for a while. He still struggles with feeling genuine emotion to this day so he kinda just masks himself.

2.(I can't remember if I said this in my last Vox HC post so I'm saying it again) Vox has a tail! He's just embarrassed about it so he keeps it hidden.

3.Vox can't handle being alone. He needs to have someone with him at all times. Whether it's in the same room, or even just in the same building. He needs to know he isn't alone. (He once had a panic attack because Val and Vel went out without telling him once because he was still asleep)

4.Vox talks to himself a lot. He usually does it when he's overthinking (along with hand flapping and pacing) so that's usually how the other Vees know that Vox is overwhelmed and needs a break.

5. Vox has a playlist dedicated to his past with Alastor and he listens to it for comfort.

6. Vox is a cuddler and hugs things in his sleep. Usually his Alastor body pillow (Where the fuck did bro even get that from anyway?) especially when having nightmares.

7. Speaking of nightmares, Vox has them frequently. They're usually about Alastor. When he wakes up from these nightmares he immediately goes to turn on his Alastor playlist.

8. More on that playlist! He actually has a couple recordings of Alastor himself singing on there! Vox used to love listening to Alastor sing back when they were friends, and I guess he still does love listening to him now.

9. Vox talks to Velvette the most. He talks to her more than he does Val. He trusts her the most, she's like a sister to him whereas Val is just a sexual partner basically.

10. More on Vox and Vel's relationship! Vox talks to Velvette about almost everything. His latest hyperfixation(s), his sharks, updates on Voxtek, what dumb shit Val said last week, and even how much he misses Alastor.

11. Adding onto the Alastor thing above, when Vox talks about his past with Alastor he usually ends up in tears. Velvette comforts him with hugs, shopping dates, and letting him ramble about his other interests and ideas for the future.

[unicornjoking1111]

Don't believe that void state exist? I got you!

So believing in something were whatever u desire will happen instantly is a really shocking and unbelievable thing to hear! Especially the ongoing experiences we face throughout our life which can be frustrating and unbelievable.... I will make it simple!

I am not sure if you will believe in void state.. but I will tell you what made me believe in void state!

The success stories!!!

There are a lot! I mean alot of success stories present here regarding void state! But lemme tell you a few questions!

Is all these success stories real?

Maybe! Because anyone can fake a success stories and us people have a really good knowledge regarding the void state aren't we 😂? But there are millions of success stories here and you think all the people waste their time into putting a fake success stories for views and attention? If you say that yes all the success stories aren't real.. then think again cause we all have brains everyone use it!

Nevielle goddard!!

Do you believe in him? Of Course because this community wouldn't exist without him 🙃🙃 so u might be aware that the void state is also came from him! (I might be wrong cause there are some people who knew about the void state before nevielle) but instead of void state he used "I am" and also gave his method on how to use it! This is the post I saw! The creator of this community itself explained about the void state what more could u expect 😭😭😭

Moonlighth0pe!!

For me personally! One of the mind blowing success stories and one of the person who made me shift from a loa girly to a void girly is due to her! Not only did she managed to get into the void state with such hard challenges but she also inspired almost everyone! Also the success stories with her photos made me believe her so much because the photos are not from any social media so can confirm that this is real and also the success story is truly shocking and exciting! Because she has her desired body, luxury (such as yacht,shoes,trips and also her dress which I really loved 😍) these are hard real evidences she posted which made me believe in the void. Even if you don't believe her or some people will say AI or some bullshit! Why would a person like her be on the Tumblr if she has everything she wanted? Think about it! Like you have a luxury yacht,trips and a type of body she has and so on... Why would she wanna be here anyway? She would lived her life to the fullest!

Our bloggers!

The knowledge and effort the void bloggers make are truly helpful and hands off to them! But there are some bloggers who have been exposed to lying for "entering the void"! But just because they lie does that mean the void is not real? Think again! Because this world is truly imagination and nothing can stop you! The void state is real no matter if you believe it or not! Even if you still don't believe it the only way to make u believe is to test it yourself! Try it! Would u like to do it no matter what? Or just be a Hatter and roam around?

At last me!!

I believe that void state is real 💯 because I tried it out myself and I am gonna say that this is real because I felt the symptoms of how the void state feels like such (no senses, floating) I believed like about 85% now I believe 100% that this is real. This might lead to another question! Just because I had symptoms of entering the void state doesn't mean the void state is real cause u didn't manifest anything? My answer is....

I believed it! I am still gonna believe it no matter what! Cause that's how much trust I have in myself! Plus all these hard facts I have given and still u refuse to believe it shows how much limitation and immaturity u have about yourself and not seeing the beauty of what actually life is all about...

If this post really made u believe it! Don't be so frustrated if u didn't get into the void state! And also if you didn't enter the void state don't overthink about how void state isn't real and shit! Just come back to this post and remind yourself!

I have given you all the logic stuff I could have given you! To prove that this is real! If you still don't believe... try it yourself! It's your path and I know for sure it's going to be wonderful 😍😍😁😁😁

Once I enter the void I will make sure I will show you the luxury stuffs (since I am very materialistic than I ever imagined lol and also I am living in luxury so... Why not more 😅) I will make sure I will get into the void no matter what and be the next success story! And you will be too 😄😄😍

For now goodbye...

[kuromiiy]

boyfriend headcanons for hongjoong.

.warning. mature content

.notes. 1/8 done! — header by woopoutt on pinterest

i feel like once he falls in love, he’s ready to stay with you until his last day

he might just think you’re a gift sent from heaven

probably will be remaining so shy with you, even after decades being together

100% quality time and gift giving

like he just went out for coffee, comes back with coffee and a flower bouquet because he just saw them and immediately thought about you

also when going grocery shopping, he always gets your fave food/sweets

will definitely cancel every appointment or hang out just to be with you if he’s in one of his clingy moods

mans so in love and surprisingly tells you that often

but very subtle mostly

like with either compliments or praises

but sometimes he will straight up tell you how much he loves you

anyways, joong’s also a manchild

you’re visiting family or friends and you spontaneously decide to stay over?

he literally will complain because how the hell is he supposed to sleep?? alone?? in that cold big bed?? with his pillow aka you???

not so secretly loves being small spoon btw

he also will refuse to eat anything thats not cooked by you

friend brought some home cooked food for dinner together?

will smile like :] and acts like a child forced to eat vegetables

he doesn’t mean to be disrespectful at all! your food is just the bestest and tastiest

because, in case you didn’t know, everything you do is amazing and the best

will always support you fully 100% no matter what you do or want to do

even if he hates it, will never tell you what is wrong or right

you’re his muse so whenever he works, he basically does it for you

you’re the reason he loves to wake up every morning and seriously he’s so proud to be your man <3

even if he pretended to hate it at first when you bought matching clothes/items

he loves it so much

loves linking your pinky’s together

will always smile at you so bright, stars in eyes and all

pretty jealous tho

because he’s still low-key insecure

so if he happens to get jealous he will distance himself

overthink and what not

so please make sure to tell and show him that you’re all his and no ones gonna snatch you away

he needs the assurance!!

explicit content

your pleasure comes before his

he’s kind of a service dom

always making sure you’re well taken care of

blissed out and content, before he even begins to think about his own pleasure

will never say no to a blowjob tho

sometimes he’s fine with subbing, to an extent at least

he’s willing to give you full control but won’t want to get actually fucked

do what you want to him but don’t go near his ass

anywho, he loves leaving marks all over you

because possessiveness

and loves it even more when you leave some on him

ngl seeing them on him makes him so hard

what also makes him hard is you being confident

like he could comebust when you’re taking the lead and when you’re in your element but also submit to him at the same time

so sexy to him

he loves to dress you in pretty lingerie and accessories

pretty big on foreplay

wants to work you up as much as he can, get you nice and wet and needy for him

pretty open minded for lots of stuff to try

random,, but has such a pretty cock?

you want to suck that shit everyday

aftercare king, best believe he will fuss over you like your mom would

kinda funny cause he just fucked the shit out of you-

all in all he’s such a loving, caring guy

would give you the entire world if he could

[elulsdr]

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.

it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)

PILE 1

people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.

PILE 2

oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)

PILE 3

hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.

[genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles]

i saw the one where the reader asks genshin men if they are annoying and i liked it a lot, can you do the same except it's kaeya, cyno, scaramouche, and zhongli? :)

Yes I can, my dearest. As a certified annoying headass person, that was placed on this earth. I am 100% qualified for this feat. As you can see, I have grown up in the dirts of my homeland, where I ate dandelions, the yellow shits, not the pretty transparent fuckers. Anyways, I lived off of them, and that is how I got me dendro vision. Now I just grow dandelions to eat on a daily basis instead of using it to fight monsters and eat proper food. That is my life story. Thank you, I love you anon. Let's get married and eat dandelions together. :) Part 1: Here

Kaeya ═══════════════════════════════════════

You walked into the Favonius Knights Headquarters, as you wanted to see if Kaeya was busy. You found him in the office, filling out reports of his previous jobs. Kaeya had a focused face until he saw you. "Oh? Snowflake, I didn’t expect you to be here. Did you finish your errands early?" He smiled as he went back to writing down his reports.

"Ah...not really I had trouble today..." You admitted as this was on your mind for a while, you felt as if...as if you gave up now, things would be less better for your beloved Kaeya. He looked at you, concerned. "Trouble? Has someone been bothering you? Tell me now, love. I will deal with them swiftly." "No no...nothing like that. Um...Kaeya...Am I annoying to you?" "Huh?" He looked at you dumbfounded by your sudden self deprecation question. You always seemed to self assured and independent.

"If I am...annoying then...I can jus-"

"No." Kaeya spoke quickly and swiftly. "What are you thinking, Snowfall? Is this what has been troubling you? What nonsense thoughts have you been having?"

Kaeya spoke in a concerned and soft tone. He then got up and took your arm. He gently pulled you on his lap and cradled you to his chest. He turned the chair side to side a bit with his feet, as he rubbed your back, he rocked you gently. "You were never annoying, you'll always have me heart, despite your difficult days. Now if you want annoying, try dealing with playing mind games with your brother, especially if its Diluc." He lets out a gentle chuckle.

Cyno ═══════════════════════════════════════

You were at home, waiting for Cyno's return. You two got into an argument in the morning, as Cyno made a tired and irritated "Tch" at you and left. He hadn’t been back since, you assume he went to work at the Akademiya. However, you couldn’t help but overthink.

You then heard a click of the door. You jumped up and stood up as you want to open the door before Cyno could even push it. Cyno looked at you surprised as he hadn’t expect the door handle be pulled away from his hand suddenly.

"...Lo-" "I'm sorry...I'm sorry for being difficult and annoying and I am sorry for ruining your day, and...and..I'm sorry for just being a nuisance and and..." You started to cry as you kept apologizing to Cyno.

"Shhhhh" You heard Cyno shushed you, as he walked in, as he closed the door behind him. He then pulled you against his neck and wiped your tears. "There there...it was just a little disagreement, it's normal and it happens, I don’t find you annoying at all." You sniffled, as Cyno wiped your tears and kissed your forehead. "You know there is a saying where there is no such thing as a perfect happiness of life, we will always have problems, so you have to pick and choose the problems you are happy with dealing with. I chose you. So there is no need to cry over such a small thing in the morning. I am sorry if what I did hurt you. I love you, okay?" He cupped your cheeks and smiled at you.

Scaramouche ══════════════════════════════════

All day, you were teasing and pranking Scarmouche, he would always react by calling you annoying or a child. Of course at most of these times, you didn’t mind, sometimes it got to you, however, lately, the more he said it, the more you felt it was true. Your playful pranking nature was dimmed a bit, along with her teasing mannerism.

You took on more of a servitude approach to cope, bringing him things without teasing or protest, going the extra mile to make meals, help him with his work. Anything to be less annoying.

Scaramouche walked into your room, and looked at you with a slightly annoyed expression. "So...what is with this quiet behavior you have been doing...rather than your usual dumb pranks." You didn’t respond as you were just writing in your journal. "No reason...I just wanted to be less...annoying..to you.." "Well you are being even more annoying by doing this, you idiot." He sighed and gently snapped back at you for your behavior showing clear frustration.

You flinched immediately as Scaramouche now looked at you with regret. He sighed. "No, I didn’t mean that, I'm sorry." He walked up to you and pulled a chair and sat next to you. "Listen, you were never actually annoying...look at me." You felt him grab your chin to make him look at you. "You were never annoying, got it?" You nodded. "Are you sur-" "Repeat that after me. Do it." He commanded you. "I am...not annoying." You repeated obediently.

"Good..." He hugged you. "And I...I miss your cheerful face and pranks. Its actually funny and makes my day...so please don’t stop doing them..."

Zhongli ═════════════════════════════════════

You were gently tracing the rim of your tea cup as you were sitting at the tea shop with Zhongli. He just finished a shift at the consultant funeral home parlor, and was spending his after hours with you. Lately, there have been some occurrence of him avoiding you.

He seemed so happy and chatty with others, but seemed quiet, and less engaging with you. You were worried that...maybe you were annoying him. He seemed to not want to spend time with you and seem like you never see him anymore. These overthinking thoughts almost made you tear up, but you held it back. You refuse to cry in front of him.

"Darling, is there something troubling you?" You heard his gentle voice as he placed his gloved hand on top of yours. At least that offered some reassurance to you. However it could be just him being cordial.

"I'm okay..."

"Now now, I know that face." He placed his thumb on your chin and lifted it up gently to him. You see his sunlight eyes looking into yours. "You can talk to me, my love. As part of a relationship, you are supposed to talk to me about your troubles, are you not?"

"It's just...." You sighed and leaned back. You crossed your arms and looked at him. "Am I annoying to you?"

Zhongli looked at you and shook his head. "Not at all, what brought you to such a notion?"

"Just lately...I never see you anymore, we don’t talk anymore, and you seem to enjoy talking to other people rather then me...if you just want to break up just...just say it...you don’t have to be nice to me...or spare my feelings..."

Zhongli puts his tea down and listened to your every word. He stood up and took your hand. In silence, he pulled you and made you walk with him. "H-Huh, where are we going?" He stayed silent as he pulled your arm. He his hands were shaking, just a bit. As if he had a lot of regret and guilt. But his face remained disconnected.

At the deepest, darkest, quietest crevices of Liyue, Zhongli pulled you in quick, by an alleyway, and pulled you against him. He immediately wrapped his large arms around you and held you against him. His back was to the wall, as you were leaning against him.

"Listen to me, my love, my beloved, my future wife. It is my deepest apologies for how I have been treating you lately. I just happened to busy with my funeral parlor position, and errands with the traveler. But I never thought I was shutting you out. Please forgive an old fool like me. You aren’t annoying, and you never were. I have lived for thousands of years. You don’t come even close...to an annoyance." He kissed your cheek. A gentle tear drop fell on your face as you looked up and saw tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry, I must be incredibly tired...that I might've unleashed some pent up stress onto you...please be patient with me...I love you...very much."

[kitthepurplepotato]

MWRMI PART 9

Week 5 - Mama Midoriya 🥦

Summary: Y/N wants to eat pancakes. Mama Midoriya must be a mind reader because she comes over with some. Inko becomes the biggest ReaderDeku shipper.

Warnings: might have 1 swear word in it. That’s it.

First Part Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Things are a little bit awkward.

You haven’t seen your green nerdy roommate for a few days, which have given you the perfect opportunity to REALLY think about this new situation.

Your conclusion is…

Drumbeats, please.

Nothing have changed. You are just overthinking. That’s it. Yes.

With that in your mind, you make your way out of your room to make some fucking pancakes for yourself, because you deserve it. Every day can be a pancake day. It’s important to treat yourself sometimes.

Why are you so focused on those pancakes, anyway? Oh, yeah, to ignore your growing feelings toward your unreachable roommate. Great.

“Good morning, honey!” A lovely voice of an older, probably middle aged lady comes across the room and you almost scream incoherently but decide against it after taking a good look at the fluffy woman; she has green hair and green eyes, just like Midoriya, the only difference between the two is the lack of curls and the lady’s hair is a hint darker than your favorite roomie’s. Is she a Midoriya? She needs to be, otherwise you have a trespasser in your house. Fuck, you are terrible at self defense, not even questioning the stranger in your flat, but bruh, she has big, green doe eyes. Everyone knows you can’t say no to green doe eyes.

“Good morning! Midoriya is not here today.” You smile at the woman who only nods understandingly and puts a cup of freshly made latte in your hand. There is whipped cream on the top and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Wow.

You can’t help but look at her with stars in your eyes, adoration clearly written all over your tired features as Izuku’s mom moves back to the kitchen and opens up a box full of FUCKING PANCAKES. How did she know?! Is this her quirk? Knowing when people want to eat pancakes?!

Are there any people around with quirks like that? They probably got a lot of shit for having such a useless quirk, not like you have any rights to judge with your quirkless ass.

If this is a fanfiction, the writer needs to sort her shit out and stop reflecting her raging ADHD on you. You have enough problems already, all these random thoughts just make the situation even worse.

Okay, let’s focus.

“That’s fine honey, I just wanted to bring you two some snacks! I’m Inko Midoriya, Izuku’s mother, nice to meet you! I heard a lot about you!” The woman smiles; a blush spreads on your face from the knowing look Inko gives you. What did he tell her exactly?!

“I-I was actually craving pancakes today.” You mumble right before you realize you didn’t even say your name yet. How can you be so rude?! “Ahh sorry, I’m Y/N! Nice to meet you too!” You stutter awkwardly, trying to maintain an eye contact to not be rude, but it’s really hard, to be honest.

“Good to know you have an actual name, Izuku calls you Sweet Pea all the time, I was actually wondering if you were real at all.” The woman giggles while she puts a few pancakes on a plate for you. Your face must be the shade of crimson at this point if the heat of your face is anything to go by.

“Ahh, yes, it’s an inner joke.” You mumble, ashamed. You need to tell Midoriya to not tell others about that nickname. It’s definitely not something you would call a friend. Maybe you SHOULD talk to Midoriya about this whole situation, make him aware of his actions… but then you wouldn’t get any more sofa cuddles. Or good night kisses… Ahh, fuck that. Let’s just go with it for now. You are already completely, utterly wrecked emotionally so it really doesn’t matter anymore. It’s too late to change things now when you are so used to the way he embraces you after a long shift. It will hurt later when he finds someone better but it wouldn’t hurt any less now so you might as well just enjoy it until it lasts.

“Izuku was always like that.” Inko says dreamily. “He always gives his closest people a silly nickname. When Katsuki and him became best friends he started to call him Kacchan. Katsuki hated it so much, but eventually gave in; us Midoriyas love people in a different way than others, and giving people nicknames is our specialty.” The woman giggles, her voice happy and airy. “I’m just a little bit surprised how quickly you became one of his favorites, but I’m glad.” She smiles with unshed tears in her eyes. “You know, he never had anyone, just his hero friends. He never came home with a lady… or a boy, I’m not judging!” She adds shyly. “That boy… he always does everything for others but never stops to look for what he wants. When he opened his agency, he bought me a house and sent me enough money every month to be able to live stress free without the need of having 3 different jobs. I had to beg him to get a proper flat instead of the tiny one without the window; he sent all his money to me in the beginning so he couldn’t move on with his life at all. Thankfully, Katsuki called me and we managed to make him understand we both want him to think about himself first, but it took us weeks.” The woman sighs. “I just want him to be happy, you know? I know having someone next to you has nothing to do with being happy but I feel like that boy could thrive with the right person next to him. I want him to have someone who finally makes him do what he wants and not what he thinks others want. Ahh, I’m rambling, ain’t I.” Inko scratches her head the same way Izuku does when he’s ashamed. These two are so similar it’s almost scary.

“No, I absolutely know what you mean.” You put your fork down for a second, even though the pancake is so bloody amazing it’s really hard not to keep eating it. “On the first week, he went back to his agency to shower to not freak me out. I told him off for not coming home right away and let me take care of him; this is his house he has all the rights to come home looking like a mess. He’s allowed to be fragile, he’s allowed to ramble about nothing and everything after a shitty day and he’s allowed to be dirty and smelly after a long shift. All these things are a part of him and I absolutely adore them all. It is what makes him a human being. So don’t worry about rambling, I love that you ramble the same way he does. It’s really adorable. And this pancake is godly, I’m a little bit sad he’s incapable of feeding himself properly, but that’s also a little bit cute. He’s so perfect in every way yet he can’t even make scrambled eggs.” You giggle to yourself. When you look up at Inko, the color leaves your cheeks; her lips are trembling and looks like she’s about to cry a river.

“Sorry, was that too much?! I really didn’t mean to make you upset, I mean I know how all this sounds but I’m not…”

You can’t finish the sentence because Izuku suddenly JUMPS IN THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW and lands right in front of his wailing mother.

“Mom, don’t cry, what happened?” Izuku kneels in front of the woman, cradling her face. Your heart almost leaves your chest from the sight of him; he’s in his full costume, sweat shining on his forehead from running all the way here in the heat. His costume sticks to his features more, thanks to the wetness of his skin; you can see every single muscle underneath the costume. You haven’t seen him for almost a week and you didn’t think you will see him today either so needless to say, your heart is having an extremely hard time right now. He’s so gorgeous, goddamnit.

“Izuku!!!!” The woman cries. “I love her so much. So-so much, Izuku! She’s perfect!” She cries some more, looking at her son with fond eyes.

“I know.” Deku smiles, but it does not reach his eyes; there is a sadness to them today and you really hate it. He embraces his mother lovingly and doesn’t look your way at all; you are not sure if it’s because of your last awkward messaging in the middle of night or not. Probably. The heartbreak came sooner than you expected it. You were right, it really fucking hurts.

When Inko calms down Izuku wanders off to get himself a plate and sits down next to you; he touches your shoulders as he passes by, letting you know that everything is fine; the touch helps you to ground yourself and be free of your negative thoughts; you are overthinking again and you know it. Even if it’s awkward this is still Izuku; Izuku who would never hold a grudge against you for needing some space.

For your surprise, he doesn’t take a new pancake from the box but decides to steal yours; he takes the full stack of pancakes, drizzled with just the right amount of maple syrup and puts them down on his own plate; he grins at you cheekily while nibbling on a small piece.

“You thief!” You giggle with an incredulous look on your face, while you move your fork to his plate to steal one pancake back; there is a massive batch of pancakes still sitting in the plastic box, but this is way more fun.

“Hey, you said I can have whatever I want. I wanted your pancakes. You said it, now deal with the consequences.” Deku gives you a shit eating grin while he tries to not choke on the full sized pancake he just stuffed into his mouth. He looks like a 5 year old and it’s absolutely adorable.

“Don’t speak while you eat, you pig!” You shuffle closer, giving his shoulders a little bump with your own. Izuku moves his fork towards you, offering you a small pancake piece and you take it without a second though; Inko chooses this moment to clear her throat to remind you of her existence because you definitely forgot about it.

“Izuku, my love, did you forget to tell me something?” She looks between you two with questioning eyes but her smile is as big as her head; she clearly thinks that Izuku and you… oh, fuck.

“Oh no, it’s not… I’m not…”

“Oh my god, mom, please don’t finish that sentence.”

“I like your son.” You yell with your face on fire. “But our relationship is purely platonic, I swear.”

Izuku stares at you with wide eyes, also rocking a massive blush on his chubby cheeks.

“I also like Y/N. And w-we are… l-like this. All the time. P-Platonically.”

“Hmm.” Inko hums with a humble smile on her face, her eyes still wet from crying just a few minutes ago. “I’ll ask you again in a few weeks.” She WINKS at you two and grabs her bag from the living room. “I’ll go home, enjoy the pancakes! There’s also some brownies on the kitchen counter, I heard Sweet Pea really liked them the last time I sent some over!” Inko DANCES to the main door and closes it behind her, her giggles can still be heard thought the wall.

“Oh my god, that was so awkward, I want to die.” Izuku whines, hiding his face with his arms, pancakes forgotten.

“Well, it was awkward for you but I have your mothers blessing, so I don’t care.” You grin while still rocking a slight blush from the embarrassment.

“You are so mean, Y/N!” The greenette whines again, offended.

“Wow, are we back to normal names now? This relationship came to an end really quickly. How sad.”

You are absolutely mortified by the whole situation but you can’t miss the chance to bully your favorite hero to tears and it will also give you enough serotonin to be able to function for another few days without him.

“You could commit mass murder and I would still beg you to come back to me.” Izuku bursts out randomly, reducing you to a stuttering, blushing mess with his sudden confession.

“I-Izu!” You yell while your heart tries her best to blast out of your chest. “If I ever commit murder, please make sure to lock me away!” You reprimand. “You are a hero!”

“I can lock you in the cleaning cupboard.” He says nonchalantly, like you are talking about the weather.

“Kinky.” You wink, taking the lead back in the ‘game’; you are quite sure Izuku’s face is redder than yours right now and that’s all that matters.

“Oh my god, not in front of my mother’s innocent pancake!” He yells, hiding his plate from your sight; you can’t help but laugh out loud at the randomness of the situation.

“Why are we like this?” You giggle, your head ending up on the hero’s shoulders in the middle of your laughing fit.

“I don’t know but I hope it never changes.” He smiles fondly, his eyes full of an emotion you can’t place. There is a different shine to them now, brighter and more colorful than before but it might be just your own emotions reflecting in them, making you believe they are his own.

“Cheesy.” You roll your eyes mockingly, but your smile says a thousand words.

“You are.” The hero smiles, leaving a sticky, sugary kiss on your forehead while his left arm snakes around your lower back to pull you closer, almost making you fall between the two dining chairs. You both giggle at your clumsiness and go back to your abandoned pancakes; Izuku will need to leave eventually and probably won’t have another break until the evening, so you let him eat his pancakes in peace, surrounded by a comfortable silence.

~•🥦•~

— Deku’s Daycare! —

Half and half bastard: Y/N, the squad is going on a camping trip next week. It’s a 2 night trip to the woods, tents, camping supplies and transport provided by me. If you would like to be added to the attendance sheet, please send me a message. Have a great day.

Piggy 🐷: OMG a new name on the attendance sheet? What an exciting day for our boy!

Half and half bastard: It is indeed exciting. I haven’t updated our attendance sheet for ten years.

EMO bitch: I’m quite sure Mina was being sarcastic, Shouto.

Half and half bastard: Oh. But I am excited. I don’t understand.

Y/N: Oh, hello Shouto-kun, please add me to the attendance sheet! I’m also more than happy to provide some snacks and cookies for the trip!

Half and half bastard: Thank you very much, Y/N! Just a reminder for everyone: Don’t drink anything Denki gives you.

Pikachu: Hey!!!

Piggy 🐷 : Amen.

Kacchan Sugoi: Bring a condom Y/N, just in case.

Y/N: ?!

Shitty Hair: Ignore him, Y/N.

*Kacchan sugoi changed Shitty Hair’s name to Homeless Dude.*

Homeless Dude: HEY!

… Next Chapter!

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Potato ramble:

- So if you feel like this chapter wasn’t fluffy enough, wait for the next few. Like damn, I think I have diabetes at this point.

- About the camping chapter… well… so I wanted it to be a two parter… ended up writing 10K + words and by the look of it, it will have minimum 4 but rather 5 parts because I can’t stop writing it. I’m on the 4th part and I still have one full day to write about. 😂 Sorry in advance! 😂

- Shopaholic potato update: I know I said there won’t be any this week… but I bought 2 more funkos (Hawks and Jirou with a bass!) and there is a funko day on Saturday in my favorite geek store… send help.

- The “why are we like this” part is a reference to one of my fav comics ever called “Heartstopper” by Alice Oseman.

- I started to play with the MHA Strongest Hero mobile game. I don’t have an actual life anymore.

- So I was listening to my liked music on Spotify and this song came up and I was like omg if this story would be a movie this would be the opening of it! Enjoy!

- The ADHD joke wasn’t originally a part of this chapter, I wrote it in here in tumblr while editing because I had a really hard time concentrating and came up with random questions like the one written down, while editing and I had to vent about it. Apparently listening to music, swinging my legs left to right, drinking coffee and eating chocolate isn’t enough to keep me focused today. It’s one of those days. Jesus I’m rambling now. Help.

Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated as always! 🥦

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