#anyway i got lazy at the end but like take this bullshit

[lissrissye]

𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔭𝔲𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔲𝔭 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔪… 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫?

✿•˖* ㅤ synopsis ; they bought you makeup when you went shopping yesterday. you wanted to test it out on them because they had the perfect features! long eyelashes, plump lips, etc. (or you just did it for fun-)

✿•˖* notes ; i got lazy so i may or may not post the “they slap you during an argument”, sorry ya’ll ! 😭🙏💗

✿•˖* includes ; osamu dazai, nakahara chuuya, ryunosuke akutagawa, edgar allan poe, and fyodor~ ❥

✿•˖* genre ; sweet romance, fluff, safe for work !

ᴏꜱᴀᴍᴜ ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ is quite playful when you first asked if you could apply your makeup on him. He doesn’t mind at all, and he likes to play around with you as you test your makeup on him. He has soft, plump lips, so you decided putting some of your brand new lipsticks on him. The bratty brunette smudges the pink lipstick with his thumb once you take a step back to see how it looks. His specialty is to annoy you, really. Of course, you crossed you arms at him, but he just charmingly smirked at you in response, making your heart melt. —“Do I look like a beautiful princess?~”

You hated how he could just get away with anything with that smirk you loved oh too much. As you started to put eyeliner on your beloved, since he has perfect-shaped eyes, your beloved just decided to move around and mess you up. At this point, he was irritating you.

You had to offer him cuddles and kisses later for him to cooperate. You took a step back, taking a quick picture before you were about to wipe the makeup off him. However, he wanted to show it off… He ended up walking around Yokohama with the full-face of makeup on, not ashamed. You were humiliated by your detective lover’s behavior.

ɴᴀᴋᴀʜᴀʀᴀ ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ is annoyed when you request to put your makeup on him. He accepted in the end, but it took a lot of begging—… you had to go on your knees and plead him with your sad, adorable puppy eyes. Your arrogant, ginger-haired boyfriend could never say “no” to you anyways, you were his only weakness. During the process, he would complain, grumble, or groan loudly to get your attention, trying to demonstrate just how much he doesn’t like this at all.

—“Just know I’m only doing this because I know nobody else would put up with this bullshit.” The Port Mafia executive spoke with his signature scowl as you put mascara on him. You know just how much he despised being or looking vulnerable and inferior, especially in front of you. Though, he secretly enjoys this moment because he’s with you. That was the one benefit to him in this. You didn’t notice it, but a soft smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as you were occupied looking for blush.

Once you turned around, he quickly dropped the grin of his and acted all tough and irritated again. He was trying not to smile so hard… you look so excited, it was adorable to him. He had to look away to prevent himself from letting a smirk come across his face.

ʀʏᴜɴᴏꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ is flustered when you abruptly approach him with the objective to test your brand new makeup products on him. He was surprised at first, then his face slowly turned red in embarrassment. He didn’t want to just shoo you away, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to look pathetic with makeup on… those sad, pleading eyes of yours looking up at him… how could he just send you off?

—“Fine, just not to much… okay, my… lo-love?” Your dark-eyed dear told you. He was such a sweetheart in the interior, hesitating to call you a cute name, even as simple as ‘my love’, since the poor boy had never received love before, making it difficult for him to be romantic with you. When you sat him down, you feel his body is tense. He was unsure about this. You then instructed him to shut his eyes tight so you can put eyeshadow on him. He was obedient despite how much it hurt ego. After you’ve finished putting eyeshadow on Akutagawa’s eyelids, you noticed his cheeks a warm, pink hue.

—“Huh, I don’t recall applying blush on your cheeks…” You thought, and in response, Akutagawa just looked away in silence. He tried avoiding the subject so you wouldn’t realize he was really flustered because of you.

ᴇᴅɢᴀʀ ᴀʟʟᴀɴ ᴘᴏᴇ is shy when you distracted him from writing his mystery novel for Ranpo to solve, with the desire of adding your makeup products to test on him. He immediately looked away with a bright, cherry-red face as you sat on his lap, putting your products on his desk and moving his novel aside for a moment. With shaky hands, her puts his hands on your hips to support you, as the last thing he wanted was for you to fall off his lap.

—“Ok-okay… please don’t overdo it th-though, sweetheart…” Your timid darling spoke in a quiet voice as you start to put foundation on his face. You lifted the hair from his face just to see him already looking down at you with a gentle, loving and affectionate look. He allowed you to tap foundation on his forehead, use your brush to put blush on his cheeks, use mascara on him, etc. He was okay with it as long as you didn’t use to much of your products on him.

When you had finished, he turned you around so he could continue working on his novel with you on his lap. He felt very hot, so you wondered if he had a fever. In reality, he was just so humiliated that his entire body felt hot.

ᴅᴏꜱᴛᴏᴇᴠꜱᴋʏ ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ is neutral when he felt your arms embrace his torso from behind, seeking to use your makeup products on him. He turned around, carrying you to your shared bedroom, setting you down and sitting on the bed. You sprinted to your desk, grabbing hold of all the new products he had purchased for you.

—“You have my permission, myshka. Just as long you remove it once your done.” Fyodor cooed with a soothing voice in your ear, stroking your smooth hair with his pale, cold hands. You smiled brightly as you reached for red lipstick and lipgloss to start off with. It was wine-red, and your terrorist beloved seemed to enjoy the color. He kissed your cheek as soon as you finished layering the lipstick with lipgloss, leaving a mark on your cheek. He knew just how to fluster you. You didn’t even bother to rub it off and just proceeded to put highlighter at the corner of his eyes, as well as contour on his nose, etc.

As you were finishing up putting highlighter on your boyfriend’s nose, Fyodor was in a trance, captivated by your beauty, as if he got hypnotized by you. Though, your didn’t pick up on this.

[gungoo4lifer]

｡⁠:ﾟGungoo headcanons ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

• gun's hands are always cold while goo's are always warm, so whenever they hold hands while walking etc, goo always grumbles about his cold hands but still keeps on holding anyway

• goo forces gun to switch from cigarettes to vapes because it definitely smells better than cigarettes, yet gun utterly hates vapes and people who use them because he thinks that it's childish and idiotic

• Goo can't talk properly whenever he just wakes up, and gun always somehow manages to understand the bullshit he's mumbling about

• They gossip. A lot. (It's even canon cuz they gossip about the fighters a lot lmfao)

• They share a wardrobe.. or goo steals gun's clothes very often because "it suits him more"

• Despite being rich as fuck, they live together in an old, not very 'fashion looking' house to not catch in people's eye a lot

• Goo asks gun to speak Japanese sometimes since he loves watching animes and most likely is a weeb, he thinks thats so fucking cool but he's too busy and lazy to learn Japanese plus he begged to Gun numerous times for him to teach him japanese but all he got in reply was a punch on his face.

• Speaking of japanese, sometimes he says "talk dirty to me in japanese." As a joke, and Gun goes along with it and says a few curse words at him and Goo giggles while blushing and Gun just rolls his eyes, knowing that he couldn't understand shit.

• Gun loves getting massages from Goo because it reduces the soreness of his body along with his exhaustion

• Whenever they have nothing to do, Gun talks about his Yakuza past to Goo since he asks about it a lot, also Goo really likes listening to Gun's stories about the scars on his body

• Gun adores Goo's soft hair

• The 30 minutes rule.. do I even have to explain this at this point haha

• Whenever they are traveling around the provinces, (goo referred to gun while saying that he traveled around the provinces with the 'white ghost' in chapter 407 where he played golf with unknown someone so it's half canon) goo talks a lot during the plane ride or more like grumbles a lot about how the ride was all boring

• They have lots of board games in their house (again, this is also half canon because they really fucking have LOTS OF board games for just two people, which was shown in chapter 316 while they were playing cards and betting over the four crew members about who would win in a fight) so in their break times etc they spend their time playing board games with each other and goo somehow always loses for an unknown odd reason.

• Gun loves cuddling with Goo to sleep

• Gun thinks that Goo isn't handsome, but more like pretty. Sure he's a good looking guy, he really is so fucking attractive but in a pretty way, not in a handsome way. For some people it doesn't even matter but for Gun, it does.

• Goo has a whole ass skincare along with a haircare routine so he'd look as perfect as usual, gun doesn't really have a proper routine but sometimes he lets goo take care of his skin etc

• Goo never goes to the hairdresser salon to bleach his hair. Why would he bother exhausting himself with going all the way there when he has gun with him?

• It became a habit for Gun to wrap his arms around Goo's waist from the back and drop his head on his shoulder whenever Goo was cooking food for them with his iconic light pink apron as Gun nibbled on his neck

•Gun can't cook. Not in the slightest. He fucking sucks at it.

• They gossip about the chairman and grumble about how fucking annoying he is

• Goo likes tracing his fingers along gun's scars and ask if they hurt and they never did, not in the slightest. And if it did gun couldn't even feel it anyway.

• Goo likes kissing the scar between Gun's eyes, which he created with his own hands 🫶

• Goo mocks him A LOT about his will to find the great successor which always ended up with utter failure.. *whispers* samuel, eli, olly, johan and jake

• Goo thinks that Gun's hairstyle was ugly as fuck (because it is.) And thinks that he looks a lot better with his hair slightly messy or down but gun doesn't really likes his hair like that, or at least in fights cuz he can't see shit properly like that

• Gun's hands are just a little, slightly bigger and a lot veinier than Goo's hand, on the other hand, Goo's hand is more silky and soft (how the fuck aren't their hands bruised or damaged in the slightest after all that fights and punches bro)

• Gun isn't really great with technology and goo always helps him with it

• Goo sometimes mocks Gun about acting way old for his age, especially with kids. He may not be the best with kids for sure but he is obviously ten times better than Gun, he always laughs his ass off whenever gun refers to kids as "little fella, thing" or it.

• Goo always uses lines from movies (again.. a half canon thing, yes goo refers to movies in the webtoon a lot) as a reference and Gun always gets them because goo forces him to watch kdramas with him o7

• Goo uses kaomojis A LOT, even more while texting with gun and at first gun finds it ridiculously cute and then sometimes, just sometimes he caughts himself using them.

• Goo often cosplays anime, manga, manhwa or webtoon characters and one day he decides to cosplay fucking park jonggun and the look of surprise he witnessed on Gun's face was the funniest shit he ever saw in his life

• They go to DG's concerts sometimes (they end up getting bored of the concert and start making out in a random space)

• Goo has lots of anime merchs from his favorite animes like figures, keychains, phone cases, shirts(gun makes fun of those shirts but goo never wears it anyway, just for the sake of his favorite character because he also agreed on how ugly some of them managed to look) plushies, nendoroids etc AND he also has a huge ass body pillow of gun which makes gun mad because why hug a body pillow when HE is there??

• They have a matching pfp on their icons in every single social media platform

• Oh talking about social media, they don't really use them though because of their job, but goo still uses it without his information for anime stuff etc.

• Goo likes hanging out with yenna and yenna likes uncle goo too but not gun, her little brain remembers how he caused his papa to get angry for some reason that she didn't know but it's alright because her papa said that it was no big deal

[ghouljams]

Hi sorry I really didn’t want to cause an argument about a/b/o designations I just get excited to talk about it especially because I feel like so often it’s seen as a means to an end of just writing really intense smut but it does have really interesting implications with regards to gender and sexuality and the way people approach them both. But I also struggle with wording stuff, and of course all sex is opt in I think what I was really trying to say is more that because I read Betas as not having as strong a hormonal reaction they don’t run the risk of losing control during a heat or rut (which ofc is still not in line with your take on a/b/o) again I don’t really have the words to describe it because I don’t experience a sex drive in the same way as allos. Again I’m really sorry if I upset you, I do really like your take on omegaverse and I’m not trying to like change your mind or au or anything, I just got overexcited

- Acespec anon

I have a bit of a short fuse despite having a high tolerance for bullshit, it's not your fault. I don't want to come off as angry or upset with anyone in my asks without cause(ai or theft causes mostly). I also had just gotten out if therapy so I was still running a little high emotion, which is not an excuse and I'm sorry for getting frustrated.

Anyway continuing on my basic agreement with your read on traditional betas. While I do really love the kink aspects of a/b/o, the super high "losing control during heat/rut" thing is something I find just like... not feasible for a functioning society? Like I read a fic once where an omega went into hest in a grocery store and every alpha in the area was trying to get at them. What??? Like huh??? You're telling me every alpha in the world is a border line rapist? That is simply not how society functions, please take a seat.

From my perspective (which is that of an allo person) and through my lense of gender politics I've always thought that betas were thrown in as just "anyone I don't want to think about having sex" which good or bad generally does end up with that character being fairly ace. However I also see it as super lazy writing. Betas have the most versatility, they're the most interesting! I know a/b/o is just an excuse to skip straight to the sex but there's so much world to explore within the au! You've added 3 new genders!!! That's so cool, tell me about all of them!

Betas in traditional omegaverse are such a wasted opportunity to do something interesting. Which again just speaks to the inherent biases of the author, if your not an alpha or an omega(man or woman) you're not worth expanding upon. Ugh I could write a dissertation on traditional omegaverse.

I think secretly even us allos hope to be betas in traditional omegaverse, the alternatives sound like he'll on earth. That's why I'm fixing the whole au 🛠

[snailvee]

Chris asks Leon why he's stopped complaining about his smoking habit.

Chris and Leon were sitting on the stoop, taking a break from the paperwork that went with their most recent mission. Leon hadn’t batted an eye when Chris lit a cigarette and took a drag, filling the air with arid smoke.

Chris exhaled slowly and turned towards Leon, giving him an almost accusatory look.

“You don’t get on my ass about smoking anymore.”

Leon scoffed and rolled his eyes, like this was a stupid thing to bring up.

“We’re grown men Chris, I’m not about to tell you what you can and can’t do.”

“But you used to complain about it or at least leave when I pulled out a cigarette, and now you’re sitting right next to me! What happened to, ‘Those things will kill you, you know.’” Chris said in a lazy mockery of Leon’s tone.

“Shit, maybe I just don’t care enough anymore. You’re making this a bigger deal than it really is.” Leon said, turning away from Chris and hoping he couldn’t see that Leon was lying through his teeth.

If only Chris hadn’t known him for so long, hadn’t spent decades watching and memorizing his reactions and how they painted his face. But he had, so it took less than a second for Chris to see through Leon’s bullshit. 

Once he realized there was actually something going on, Chris’s brow furrowed and he subconsciously twisted his body even more towards Leon.

“Hey, I didn’t think I was bringing up a sore subject but there’s obviously something here. Not a big deal my ass, c’mon.” Chris’s voice softened as he spoke, trying to get across to Leon before he decided to leave without talking about it.

Leon seemed to sense he wasn’t about to drop the subject and sighed, still looking away from Chris.

“I take it if I tell you I don’t want to talk about it that won’t satisfy you?”

“Well I won’t beat it out of you, but I think you know it’ll be better for both of us if you just tell me.” 

Leon had already resigned himself to telling Chris, there really wasn’t anything he wanted to hide from him. If anything, he would understand the most – they’d been in the same field for decades after all.

“Alright. Remember when they sent me off to Spain? To rescue the president’s daughter?”

Chris hummed his assent, still studying Leon’s face. He still hadn’t turned to look at him, but the lack of eye contact didn’t really surprise Chris.

“I don’t know how much you read of the reports, but I met a man named Luis while I was there. He helped me out on the mission and ended up saving Ashley and I’s lives. He was a scientist and had the equipment to get rid of the plaga when we got infected.”

Leon’s face was pulled tight as he talked, like he was still trying to keep something in. Like there was something in the story that would push him over the edge and he wouldn’t be able to hold back his emotions anymore.

“Anyways, Luis smoked. I got on his ass about it just like I did with you. His first words to me were actually asking me if I had a smoke.” Leon smiled wryly, breathing in almost as if preparing for something.

“He didn’t make it. Krauser stabbed him in the back. He saved me again before he died, shot the knife in Krauser’s hand after he bested me. Last thing he did was reach for a cigarette and tried to light it, but he couldn’t. I – I lit it for him.”

Leon’s eyes squeezed shut as the memory flashed before him. The smell of the smoke, the blood dripping from Luis’s mouth, the warmth draining from his hand as Leon curled his fingers around the lighter. 

Leon jolted as he felt Chris’s hand rest on his knee. He finally looked up, surprised at how close Chris had gotten and the emotion in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Chris whispered.

Leon turned away again, curling into himself.

“It’s nothing I hadn’t seen before, nothing you haven’t seen. It’s stupid for me to be hung up on it.”

Leon knew exactly why he was so hung up on it, but he refused to share that with Chris. He wasn’t ready for whatever conversation that confession might bring.

Chris sighed, turning away to give Leon some space.

“It’s not stupid, you know that. Just because we’ve seen so much shit doesn’t make it easier.”

Chris could sense there was something else Leon wasn’t telling him, but he could also sense it wouldn’t go well for him if he pressed about it. If he was reading Leon correctly, Chris was pretty sure he wouldn’t like the news either. Even so, his mouth seemed to open of its own volition.

“He… Luis was important to you. More than other people you’ve lost.”

Leon gritted his teeth. He just couldn’t hide anything from this man, could he.

“Yes. Yes he was. I fuckin’... I fuckin’ loved him. I loved him and Krauser stabbed him in the fucking back.”

Chris knew this wasn’t the time for his own feelings to get in the way. He knew that even if he’d spent years pining after Leon that didn’t make it right to bring it up now. But he couldn’t help the voice in his mind asking what Luis could’ve done to earn Leon’s love, what he had that Chris didn’t. It felt so wrong to be jealous of him, not only someone he’d never met but someone who wasn’t even alive anymore, but he just couldn’t help it. 

Leon could sense the feelings radiating off of him in waves.

“What? I’m gonna tell you all that and you’re just going to sit there and scowl? What the fuck Chris? What’s wrong with you?” 

Leon was getting increasingly angry at Chris’s lack of reply and the frustration that seemed to cross his face. How could he be angry at Leon about this? He was supposed to be comforting him, even pity would’ve been better than whatever this was.

“I – That’s not what I –” Chris’s fists were clenched and he was staring at the ground angrily. Leon scoffed.

“Then what is it? What the fuck is making you act like this?”

“Because I love you Leon! I love you and you don’t fucking love me. And I know it’s wrong but it hurts to have to sit here and listen to you talk about someone you do love.”

Chris’s breaths were heavy and there were tears stinging his eyes. He wished he never would’ve brought this up, wished Leon had fought back a little harder when he asked him to talk about it, wished that none of this had happened at all.

Leon’s face had gone slack as he stared numbly at Chris. His thoughts were racing as he finally spoke.

“And who said I didn’t love you.”

Chris turned to look at Leon so quickly he felt lightheaded. Leon held his gaze for the first time since they’d started talking.

“I do love you Chris. I loved Luis too. Hell, I loved Ada.”

Chris’s shock morphed into a slight frown, but Leon kept going before he could get a word in.

“It’s all so fucking complicated, especially with our job. You know that. And there’s a lot more to say, a lot more to do, before this,” he gestured between them, “could be… something more. But I want to try.”

Chris opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find his voice.

“I want to try too. I really do.” His face was almost pleading, subconsciously leaning into Leon again.

“Then let’s try it, huh?” Leon said, lips turning up into a small smile

Chris started smiling too and threw his arms around Leon without even thinking, pulling him as close as possible into his chest.

“Yeah. Let’s try.”

[chickenparm]

Where You Willed The Moon - Part 3/End

happy scara-release-day, here's the ending of this little goofy thing as a celebration. mind the chapter tags for specific warnings :^) can you tell this chapter is just a love letter to scaramouche? is it that obvious?

---

AO3 Link Prev Part

Scaramouche/Reader (reader is the traveler) reader in prev parts is F but this part can be read as GN 3,119 Words - NSFW Chapter Tags: Blowjobs, Crying, Confessions, minor Overstimulation Story Tags: Unhealthy Codependence, Enemies to Lovers, P in V, f!Receiving Oral, Thigh Riding, Mentions of m!Losing Virginity, Pining, Bullshit Sereniteapot Magic, sub-ish Scara when it counts :^)

Spoilers for the Sumeru story, disregards anything post-boss-fight.

---

“You could try to be a little civil.”

“And you could find a hole to stuff her in and we could leave her.”

…

“Why do you need her, anyway? You’ve got me now. Surely I’d be a better guide than a flying lavender melon.”

“Well, for starters, Paimon isn’t a wanted criminal.��

“I doubt I’m wanted. The sages are unlikely to admit their folly, and the Fatui aren’t necessarily on anyone’s good side, even on their best days.”

“Paimon is my best friend. I think that’s a good enough reason to not leave her in a ditch somewhere.”

“And I’m your-”

“My what?”

“...I don’t know.”

“Think about it. We’ll talk about it tonight-”

—

Wangshu Inn is deceptively quiet. Such a central location, popular with travelers and merchants alike, should be far more bustling than it currently is. But the weather is balmy and warm, the sky is clear, the roads have been safer, so it’s no wonder if there are more campfires dotted on the horizon than usual. 

It leaves you in blissful quiet, only the occasional conversation drifting from the walkways above and below, too muffled to really eavesdrop on anything of importance. That’s well enough for you - you’re alone, leaning on the window, breathing in of the slightly humid air that’s tinged with the dinner that’s being made in the kitchens below. 

Scaramouche will be back soon - it’s hard to break the habit of calling him that, when you’ve gone so long. You’d never use it to his face, but you’ve given up on trying to push that away for now. It’s not a terrible name, the connotations having been changed in your heart the moment your consciousness touched his own. 

With him comes Paimon - they’ve been arguing again, you can tell with how Paimon takes her food and disappears in a shower of sparks. She’s been doing that more often, her distaste for him well known despite your assurances that he’s not the same man that had been so hostile before. Conflicting personalities, you supposed. Like two pieces of sandpaper. 

“You’re thinking hard.”

“I’m not thinking at all.” Your counter comes over your shoulder, given with a lazy smile and a shrug of your shoulder. The skin of your cheek sticks to your shoulder with how thick the air feels, Liyue’s Summer has been particularly unforgiving this year, so you’ve heard. 

“Oh, so your head is just as empty as I thought it was.”

“You looked into it, remember? Saw my every thought?” Your lower back presses against the window frame as you turn to lean against it, watching as he settles at the low table and portions out food for himself. It’s unnecessary for him - food doesn’t provide him with anything other than an interesting pastime. Yet he participates anyway, and you’re not about to shame him for finding enjoyment in something so trivial.

At your questions, he lifts his gaze, unable to block his expressions with the hat that was thrown haphazardly on the bed you’ll share this evening. Without it, he seems almost vulnerable - like he’s lost a shield that protects him. The answer lingers for a moment, before he nods in an effort to forego something verbal. Your silence in return urges him to backtrack on that. 

“I did. Everything - likely as much as you’ve seen about me, I’d say.” Violet eyes turn to his bowl, filled with only rice for the moment. He takes a second to mix it around aimlessly, steam rolling once his chopsticks break the surface. “I wouldn’t have killed you, you know. In our fight.”

“One hundred and sixty-eight times grows a little fuzzy, but… I believe you.”

The amusement in your tone seems to annoy him, and he fixes you with an unconvincing glare and a sharp exhale. “I mean it. When we connected, I saw your life. Where you’ve been, what you’ve gone through. You aren’t human - you’re immortal. You won’t-”

Leave me. 

He doesn’t need to finish the thought, that mere insinuation making his cheeks color slightly as he looks you in the eye with all the bravery he can muster when he clearly wants to shy away. “I was confused but… a part of me believed you, when you brought up the prospect of losing myself. When you made it seem like you cared.”

“I did care. I do care.”

“I know that now,” he mumbles under his breath before righting himself, “but at the time, my thoughts were in the wrong place. I still wasn’t going to kill you, I wanted to-... to convince you to stay, I think. To convince you that if you joined me, I could help you look for your twin. As the Everlasting Lord of Arcane Wisdom, maybe I could offer enough to keep you.”

The leaves of Wangshu Inn’s tree rustle with the coming wind, filling the space with natural white noise and drowning out the sound of your heart breaking. He avoids you in favor of looking out the window over your shoulder, a stubborn set to his jaw as he cuts off anything further he might say to incriminate himself. 

Unable to allow a declaration like that to rest, you push off the window to cross the room, only a few short steps bringing you to his side where you kneel close enough for your knees to brush his thigh. He flinches when you reach for him, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, soft as ever. 

“If only you could’ve known that it was what came before that which brought me to you, hm?” Playing with the ends of his hair, you twist them loosely around your fingers before letting that hand slide down his shoulder, then to his arm, then to his elbow where his skin is barely covered between his arm guard and sleeve. “Well you have me now. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. Maybe all of that was just a convoluted way to bring us together.”

Scaramouche’s head turns so quickly that it startles you, his face dangerously close to your own, his nose just barely brushing against yours. His voice wavers, his question is one you can almost taste on your lips if you were to run your tongue out to catch it. 

“What am I to you?”

And the answer is so simple, so obvious that you wonder why he needed to ask it at all. But you’ve felt the need for reassurance more times than you can remember, and perhaps the situation with Paimon earlier had shaken his resolve in your dedication to him. Even after you’d given him everything, he greedily asked for more. As long as it was in your power to give…

“Everything.” A small smile from you, a look of astonishment from him that’s wiped away when you lean forward to kiss him gently. The featherlight touch lingers, leaving your skin tingling as you pull away just enough to watch the way his eyes snap shut to stem the shine of tears beginning to gather at the corners.

Scaramouche’s lip quivers, just before he draws it between his teeth to hide the motion. Giving him a small bit of privacy, you lean in to wrap your arms around his body, pulling him to lean on you. It’s a familiar motion, one that you’ve indulged in with him an innumerable amount of times. It’s as easy as breathing, as familiar as gliding had felt the first time you’d soared over Mondstadt. 

Fingers dig into your back, clutching you as he seeks all the comfort you’re offering him. He nearly bowls you over with how he leans into you, selfishly accepting everything on display until his face is buried into your shoulder and his body shakes with the effort of holding back the emotions that want to run free. 

“Don’t ever doubt how much you mean to me, alright? No one else can occupy the same space in my heart as you.” Gently, you kiss the exposed skin of his shoulder, lingering at your leisure as you watch a shiver raise bumps along his skin. Dragging your lips up to his neck, mouthing at the point of his pulse through the sheer fabric of his undershirt, you relish how he’s gone from limp in your arms to stunned tension. Anticipation colors him, even if you can no longer see his face. 

“Can I tell you something? Something you didn’t get to see in my mind, something you haven’t learned yet?”

As if he would say no, but it’s not often you get to tease him without getting a taste of his barbed responses. Instead of his sharp tongue, you receive a nod that’s deceptively demure, his hair brushing along your cheek smoothly with the motion. Kissing further up his neck, along the soft skin beneath his ear, and finally to his earlobe, you murmur your secret just loud enough that only he could ever hear its first manifestation into reality.

“I love you.”

Everything falls silent. The heartbeat in your ears, the leaves whispering in the tree, the conversations that flutter in from outside. For the briefest time, you’re almost convinced that perhaps you’ve spoken some code words that cease the world from spinning altogether. 

If you did nothing, said nothing further, would you be allowed to stay in this single moment until the end of time? Would that ending even come, so long as you kept so very still, your knees beginning to ache from the hardwood flooring? It’s a simple pain to bear in exchange for holding him like this, the burden on your heart lifted with the proclamation that’s been clawing to release itself from the very moment he’d crashed to the floor in that workshop so far below the city of Sumeru.

It’s not your doing that time begins to slip forward again. It’s his, where his shaking hands grow lax against you, barely hanging on with the friction between his fabric-covered palm and the back of your shirt. “Do you mean that?”

Scaramouche’s doubt hurts. Not because he second-guesses what you’ve said, but the entire reason he feels the need to do so in the first place. He’s been lied to, scorned, pushed away so many times that he can’t help but feel wary. So, you decide perhaps it’s best to show him. To ingrain it in his heart and his mind so thoroughly that he’ll never doubt your conviction ever again.

He doesn’t even fight you when you give him a push, pulling away enough that you can watch as he allows you to lean him back, further and further until he has to shift his legs to cage you in as his back hits the floor. The lanterns in the room set his face alight, showing the rose color of his cheeks and the wetness that begins to well up in his eyes once more. 

One swipe of your thumb isn’t enough to wipe them away, but it leads him to lean into your palm that conforms to his cheek so perfectly. Like he was made for you to hold him in the sweetest ways, some divine form created for you to love as surely as you do in this moment. 

The lithe muscles of his abdomen jump as your hands slide beneath the parted fabric of his kimono, warm palms pressing against his skin as you explore planes you haven’t given yourself nearly enough opportunities to indulge in. Beneath you, a shaking breath leaves him, catching in his throat as you untuck his clothing from his belt, then work at the knot keeping the remainder of his clothing cinched securely. 

“What are you-”

“Showing you. Making sure you don’t forget, that you never question for a single moment ever again what sort of meaning you have to me.” He tenses as you continue to tug at fabric, untucking and parting until he’s just indecent enough for you to wrap your hand around his half-hard arousal. All it takes is that single touch for him to moan low and slow, appreciative enough for his head to roll back to rest on the floor with a dull thud. Any apprehension leaves him with a gentle stroke of your hand. 

Leaning closer, enough that your intentions are obvious even as he can’t look anywhere but the ceiling rafters above, you speak close enough to his cock that your warm breath washes over it. He tenses, hardening in your palm as you hum, “I want to make you feel so good that every time you wonder how I might feel, you’ll remember this moment and your problems will go away.”

And the response in his throat dies as his cock finds a home on your tongue, from base to tip, dipping into the slit and tasting the beginnings of his release with a saltiness on your tongue. It’s far from unpleasant, and you find your lips wrapping around the head in search of more. There’s a scraping sound, grating in its insistence as his nails dig into the hardwood flooring. Both hands are straining, fingers shaking with the effort of keeping still for no real reason. 

Scaramouche resists for only a moment as you use your free hand to reach for his, squeezing it once before guiding him into resting his palm on your head. An open invitation, one that he doesn’t quite grasp yet as your tongue swirls circles that leave his breath ragged and hitching. It takes a single bob of your head, a taste of what he could demand from you, before he puts pressure against your scalp in encouragement. 

“Please…”

As if he would need to beg. All he’d need to do is say the word, make the motion, quietly demand anything from you and it would be his without complaint. It takes nothing more than that little push for you to follow his demands, the flat of your tongue dragging along skin that draws a high-pitched, needy groan from him that feeds the odd hunger you’re feeling. But you want more - need it - and let him set the pace of his cock feeding past your lips and over your tongue. 

Deeper and deeper, until your nose is brushing his pelvis and his fingernails are dangerously close to drawing blood against your scalp. It takes him a moment to gather himself, and when it does it’s with both hands on you - the one on your head, the other curled against your cheek. Craning his head, he looks down his body at you with a startling amount of reverence in his eyes, lips parted with the anticipation of words you’re certain you’ve been waiting your entire life to hear.

“I-I love you. I love you. So much-... ngh-... so much it hurts. I love you. So perfect, so beautiful, e-everything I’ve-” his words cut off sharply as his back arches, hips jerking enough that he buries himself to the hilt before letting you pull away. Every muscle in his body seems to shake with the effort of containing himself, the sensations manifesting as uncontrollable tears in his eyes that trail down his temples into his hair, matting it against itself. 

“Pleasepleaseplease-”

Both hands are what you need to hold him still, pressing down on his hips until he can’t roll himself upwards into the warmth of your mouth, the softness of your cheeks and tongue in search of the pleasure you’re offering him. There’ll be more time for him to be greedy later, to use you in whichever way he pleases. For now, there’s a point to be made, and that’s only done by you holding him still and worshipping him like he demanded be done not so long ago. 

“I-I’m going-... I can’t-”

Scaramouche throbs in your mouth, teetering on the edge physically and verbally. If he were any louder, you’re certain anyone would be able to hear him beyond these four walls. As the thought crosses your mind, so too does it strike him, as the hand on your cheek rips away in favor of slapping over his mouth to muffle the moan that accompanies him falling to pieces. 

Holding your breath and pushing yourself to your own limit, you take him whole and feel his release hit the back of your throat in a handful of steady bursts that come in time with him bucking against your iron-tight hold. Even muffled, the sounds that leave him are akin to some celestial song, ragged in its desperation and beckoning you to suck him further. Moans turn to groans turn to whimpers, hand falling away as he all but begs you to stop. 

You only do so when he grows soft on your tongue, his thighs shaking next to your head as his knees bend to curl in on himself. If you could get away with it, you’d hold him there and do it all over again, but a single glance at his face tells you that he’s spent. Red-cheeked, hair ruined, lashes thick with tears as he blinks toward the middle-distance lazily. 

He barely flinches as you tuck him away, righting his clothes enough that he’s decent. Even as you crawl up his body, settling yourself between his thighs and resting your cheek on his sternum. On anyone else, there’d be a heartbeat thudding in your ears - but all you hear is the remnants of his labored breathing, your head moving with the rise and fall of his chest. 

In a vain hope for the world to stop in its tracks, to give you a little longer in this moment, you murmur those magic words again. “I love you.”

Scaramouche doesn’t answer right away, though his hand does come up to curl around the back of your neck. He holds you there, fingers pressing gently against the muscles there, thumb moving in concentric circles that grow larger, then smaller. There’s no expectation for him to speak it again - once was enough. Once was all you’d need to hold on to for the sake of bringing yourself comfort. 

But despite his greed, Scaramouche can be rather generous when he wants to be. His own proclamation flutters over you like dandelion seeds, like sakura petals, like crystalflies that dance along your skin. 

“I love you. Centuries of life, and I’m convinced it was all meant for you.”

The years you’ve lived have been lost to time, their number far beyond your memory, especially after the tampering that happened while you slept for so long. But as he cranes his neck to press a kiss to the crown of your head, a subtle show of affection that holds immeasurable meaning, you can’t help but share the sentiment wholeheartedly. 

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the asshole for attempting to start a war?

I (?? M) was starting to get sick and tired of our king's bullshit. Despite working with him often, he pissed me off with his total lack of work ethic and his laziness. This spread on to the citizens of the kingdom, too.

I, of course, was not letting that stand. As the owner of a flying battleship I figured it would be a good tactic to get them to work for something if I attempted an attack.

So my crew and I set out, but this kid who seems to do nothing but eating and causing problems for everyone ends up on my ship trying to take it down. My whole crew was fighting to get this kid off and we got him off like three times, but he kept coming back and breaking shit until the ship was careening down into the ocean.

I faught him to try and get rid of him, and then I tried to stop him from escaping, but DEAR GOD is this child resillient.

Anyway, it's been a while and I've now cooled off and started working more willingly with the king, but I still think about this whole thing sometimes.

AITA?

[trappedinthewalls]

So yesterday that Annie person from the P&Z circle @pleasetiemyshoelaces talked about a couple of times decided to have an absolute conniption over a post I made x number of months ago speculating over Poppy's behavior. She reblogged every reblog acting like they were made at different times, like this was an ongoing thing I'd been talking about repeatedly, and not that I'd reblogged it all in one day cause I was too lazy to edit the first post.

She called me a men's rights activist and had a "history of r#pe apologia" because I posted about this exactly once, because I believe @noehflake , and because I called Poppy a bitch. Mhmm yeah. Okay. Totally not coping over the fact that she's too much of a coward to actually confront any of the people who actually talk about this stuff on a regular basis. Annie, sweetie, this is a vent blog. This is not a critical blog. I don't have any kind of platform. There is no mission here. I'm not trying to take anyone down or harass anyone. This is where I occasionally come to complain. That's it.

For the people in the back. Noehflake is not a r#pist. Here's what happened according to the (actual) evidence (read the Poppyamory documents and the Luxander video on it for the receipts and watch the Victor Burns interview for Noeh's side of it. We already know Poppy's side cause she hasn't shut up about it): Noehflake broke up with Poppy for being a terrible partner. Poppy harassed her and badgered her and complained on Twitter about it. Zena gaslit and badgered and manipulated Noehflake into letting the trip they'd been planning on happen anyway and Poppy asked Noehflake to pretend like they weren't broken up. They met at the hotel and had sex because Poppy wanted to and Noehflake wanted to make her happy (that's a thing that ace people do, believe it or not). Then the next morning Noehflake decided she still didn't want to continue the relationship, in no small part because Poppy and Zena were screaming at each other, so she wanted to leave. Poppy tried to physically prevent her from leaving (which is a crime, by the way) and asked if Noehflake had just had sex with her to "test to see if she loved her" (which is absolutely nuts to think). Noehflake was tired of this bullshit and said yes just to get Poppy to get the hell out of the way, and Poppy was shocked enough to let her go (seriously, if someone were barring you from leaving, wouldn't you say anything to get them to let you go?). Then when Poppy kept badgering Noehflake to get back together, Noehflake admitted to lying about using the sex as a test and in truth had agreed to the sex because of feeling conflicted and wanting to make Poppy happy. Poppy took the single part of the lie and ran with it, deciding to paint Noehflake as a r#pist because she just couldn't let it go that she got dumped.

She also kept messaging Noehflake after this, and tried to friend her on Facebook.

Having sex with your ex to make them happy and then deciding not to continue the relationship is not r#pe. If anything, it's a pity fuck. And Poppy is too much of an egomaniac to accept the fact she was given a pity fuck and then re-dumped. That's what the evidence says.

I believe Noehflake's story because it has stayed consistent this entire time. Poppy's story has changed several times rapidly. And we have receipts.

I complain because this is all a bunch of soap opera bullshit and I wouldn't care if it wasn't being perpetuated people with a platform and influence over vulnerable people. If this were being done by a politician or non-internet celebrity I'm pretty sure people would be just as interested at seeing it put to an end. I'm certainly not going to do it. Other people have decided to do that. But I will complain about it. I'm allowed to. But only sometimes.

So go whine about it to someone who actually matters in this fight. You won't get anywhere whining about me, cause I don't matter. I'm a little nobody. And that's how I like it.

[vukovich]

It is technically time to open Peculiar Prompts to celebrate a milestone... but... I decided to prompt myself. So here we go.

--

Pret, prat. Tallywhack.

It was fencing practice again, one of Harry's more loathed cross-training exercises for duelling. At least with the boxing, Robards let them land real hits. The worst, though, was Turkish oil wrestling, because the only other Auror in Harry's weight class was Draco "Good Show Today" Malfoy.

Plenty of other guys got boners during those training sessions, but Harry was pretty sure he was the only one who'd ever surreptitiously blown his load in his pants. At least he hoped he'd done it with some measure of surreptition. Surrepition? Surrep... Syrup... tits... on...?

Anyway.

Fencing was still plenty irritating. He ended up paired with Malfoy half the time, which was bullshit, because Malfoy had started formal training with a sword when he was four.

Harry danced on his toes, dodged what he thought was the whipping tip of Malfoy's foil, realised he'd been faked, and got slapped in the ribs.

"Point!" Malfoy spat. He reset his stance, glancing behind himself at the wall. It was covered in dark blue padded mats.

"Come off the wall," Harry said, and took a step to the side to square up across the centre mark. "You always do that."

Malfoy just shrugged and stayed stubbornly in place.

"Why do you do that?" Harry asked.

"Even things out for you, Potter. Lord knows you've never challenged me when my back wasn't to the wall." He held his foil aloft, the point aimed at Harry's face. "Hate to break the streak for you. It'd be sporting of me to add a sink, really. Maybe a snivelling ghost for ambiance."

"Oh, that is it!" Harry spun to the side, lifted his foil to his shoulder like a javelin, and hurtled it at Malfoy.

Harry had a split second of horror, because neither of them could reach their wands faster than the airborne sword would meet Draco's face.

It flew, its middle wobbling and warbling, until it slammed tip-first into the wall behind Malfoy's ear. Padding puffed out of the wall like a spit take. The middle of the blade sang like a struck saw, and the handle swung in a lazy circle.

The metal and leather handle tapped against the meat of Malfoy's shoulder, then wavered its way up his face. Slowly, as the blade settled, the handle worked out a slow, ambling path up the side of Draco's cheek, then back down.

"Red card, Potter." He clicked his tongue twice. "Red card, indeed."

An embarrassed flush raced up Harry's neck, not only at having lost his temper so easily, but also... mostly... because the handle and pommel of his foil were similar in size and shape to his cock. And so the sight of it lazily stroking Malfoy's cheek, as if was working up the courage to slip between his lips, was just rather blush-worthy.

"Malfoy, I- I'm-" Harry stammered.

"No need," Malfoy said, soft and low. He leaned his cheek against the bobbing handle, holding it still. "Not the first time you've blown it in this gym, is it?"

Malfoy's voice was a purr. He let the handle of the foil come to rest against the hollow of his cheekbone. Harry's entire body ran hot.

Malfoy turned slowly, offering his lips to the handle of Harry's foil, to leather strapping still wet with the sweat of his palm. His lush, pink lips pressed against it, and Harry gasped.

"You're a rather poor performer in nearly every exercise," Draco said, briefly pulling his lips from the leather, as if he'd only grudgingly come up for air.

Harry's words lost speed in the back of his throat. "I am not," he said weakly.

Malfoy hummed, and the foil's blade shivered. So did Harry.

"I-" Harry started. "I beat you in tennis last week. Forty-love, even."

Malfoy hummed again. Harry let out a little moan, but Draco didn't seem to notice. "I was playing wrong-handed for a bit of sport."

Harry thought about it for a moment. Malfoy had served out wide that day. "You bastard."

Malfoy's smirk turned into a grin, and he ran his stretched lips gently against the handle. Harry watched as his face softened, first, his cheeks, then his eyes, and then his lips tenderly grazed the leather.

"There are other games," he said, quietly enough that only Harry could hear. "Better games." He dragged his lips down, down, until they grazed the bulge of the pommel. "To see who's the bigger man."

Harry's voiced exhalation of "Yeah?" meant 'Please' in every language.

The tip of Malfoy's tongue slipped out between his teeth, and he caught Harry looking. He smirked, pulled it back in, and let his lips spread around the side of the pommel. Harry gaped at him, slack-jawed, wide-eyed, and pants straining.

Malfoy's teeth showed, and he let the warm, damp leather lodge between them. Sharp, sharp teeth, the handle caught in them like a bridle bit. Malfoy's jaw tensed, and Harry gasped. His hand darted to protect his groin, but his other hand caught it mid-transit, making him look at ease, but suddenly.

Malfoy bit into the leather just enough to make a mark, then eased the handle from his mouth. "Don't worry, Potter. Bite inhibition is a part of good breeding."

Harry stammered three different replies, then gave up.

Malfoy plucked the foil from the wall and carried it to Harry. His eyes flicked to the locker room, then back to Harry, then back to the locker room.

"En-garde?" Malfoy asked, stepping closer.

Harry didn't have a reply beyond his thundering heartbeat.

Malfoy licked his lips, standing toe to to with Harry, but a half-head taller. Like a challenge issued, he said, "Pret."

Harry glanced at the restroom door. His chest was heaving, but he tried to hide it. He could make it to the showers. He could run that fast. He could make it past the sinks, around the corner. He wasn't faster than Malfoy, but he was more nimble, and-

Malfoy leaned down to his ear, snapped his teeth, and hissed, "Allez!"

And Harry ran.

--

[lolqiqi]

||YANDERE DEITY x GN READER THAT COULD’T CARE LESS.||

Guess who finally got motivated enough to write something so the blog wouldn't die before it even started!

Warnings!:

★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Reader is referred to as y/n or you. Yan (Erebus) is possessive, clingy, a *possible* murderer, a little bit of a creep,and very horny(Obviously). He refers to you as his bride/housewife regardless of gender. Slightly suggestive at the end. Note that this was rushed and might not be of best quality, and also not proof read because I'm lazy as fuck!

You always dreaded walking home every single night, from your awful dead end job. You always hated it but you still had to do it, you were broke..and didn’t have enough funds to move from the sleepy town, practically a village you were born in. They still worshipped that useless god, Erebus… he hasn’t even showed up to this damn town in nearly a century, but they still believe in that jackass.

You always tried praying to him copying your parents when you were younger, but to no avail. But the last straw was when you father was dying and he did absolutely nothing to help you, so ever since you were 14 you didn't believe in that bullshit anymore.

Finally you made it into your crappy apartment, no company except for your cats cookies & cream. He locked the door behind you, and got changed into pajamas. You were going to eat ice cream and eat your woes away before you started to hear sounds coming from somewhere.

You wearily investigated, still tired from work. You looked almost everywhere, before deciding to look in your bedroom again, just to make sure no one was trying to kill you or something.

----------

Flash back!

His father kicked him out. Well not exactly kicked him out more like, he's not allowed to come back for a few centurys at best. That's what he gets for ignoring the many towns and villages he's supposed to look after.

He landed in the middle of the street, last thing he heard was from his father. Don't come back until your lazy ass decides to be a deity, or get's someone to like you asshole!

Erebous decided to do the logical thing for someone like himself, break into someone's house and when they realize he's their deity, make him live with him until he finds how to get back on his feet.

Unfortunately for him he broke into the house of the only one in town that hates his guts.…Y/N

----------

Back to present time!

When you figured out it was nothing and turned your back around, your face instantly turned into scowl. It was that asshole, Erebus.

But instead of turning on the charm and trying to convince you to let him stay, he was completely love struck. He was standing there in complete awe at your beauty, how could a mortal be so beautiful?!

You then started to speak in a very annoyed tone. "How the fuck did you get in my house?!"

"Uhm...uhh…don't you know who I am? He clears his throat, and speaks in a manner so he could hopefully express you "I'm your beloved deity, Erebus! And lucky for you, I need a place to stay. So if you would-"

You stop him mid sentence. "If could you could get the fuck out of my house.I don't want you here so try and find someone dumber than me please." "He frowns, he did want to do this the easy way. Erebus wanted to make you his, he wanted to eventually take you back to the heavens with him and make you his significant other, his old one was getting boring anyway. "Make me." You stand there arms crossed, and he laughs almost as of making fun of you...but not on purpose, he would never do that to his future bride. "Hmph, I guess I'll make myself comfortable. I'm not leaving anytime soon my little dove." He sits at your couch still clearly staring at you"This is absolute bullshit." You said loudy, you couldn't force him to leave, he could easily crush you even with his demoted status. You went to find him somewhere to stay, you didn't want him sleeping with you nor or the couch. You somehow found a extra room in your tiny apartment. You told him he to stay there untill he decided to leave (he wouldn't dare)

Time skip, next day.

You woke up expecting to see your cats next to you keeping you warm, but to your surprise you found Ebebus sleeping next to you and cuddling you?..You quickly got up, flustered but still frustrated from yesterday.He woke up not sensingyou warmth, and you had to admit as much as you hated him he looked...handsome...no, you are not falling for him."Morning my little housewife, I guess I might've snuck into your bed, my apologies. That room was cold, and I noticed when you were leading me to that small bedroom you were very warm. I couldn't help myself dove." He says trying his hardest to be as flirty as possible to convince you to like him. You rolled your eyes at his choice of words and spoke in the same annoyed tone as last night"ugh... listen I need to go to work in four- a hour?--shit!"

As much as you hated your job you couldn't afford to be late. You ran out your bedroom and into your bathroom to change, you forgot to shut the door, forgetting that he could see the bathroom though the bedroom . Not respecting your privacy one bit he decided to peek at you changing, to prove himself right or wrong… and gods was he right, as he watched you change for a brief moment, he confirmed that the rest of your body was as beautiful as the parts he already saw. As soon as you got out the bathroom, you were pinned to the wall by him. He has a visable smirk on his face as he enjoys you being helpless against him. Dispute your best efforts to be let go of his grip they go to no avail. "Y'know this is no good, my little housewife..your pretty face going to work everyday at job you don't even to need to go at anymore. Now that I'm here you won't need to work a day, leave that to me sweetheart."He was rich, richer that you could even imagine, you'd be set for life if you decided to date him.You’d tried to argue back about this,but he throws you back onto the bed, and lays down next to you cuddling you once again.

You awake again, you look around and see your wearing something different from your work uniform. A oversized shirt, and shorts? You figured that this had to be the work of Ebebus, he wasn't kidding when he said when he said he'd make you his housewife. When you thought this over, you blushed realizing that he stripped you to make you change. He woke and held you tighter, you turned your head to see him smiling in pure delight.

"My dove, while you were asleep I found out about where you worked. Let's just say that you won't be working anytime soon. Now I was waiting for you to get up so we could get inmate." You couldn't even process the information before he took off what you assumed to be his shirt off of you. He then let his hands wonder all over your body, he was ready to be inmate all right. And it seems that he was growing on you already.

Sorry that this was kinda long and may not make much sense. I finished making this when it was really late so tell me if there is anymistakes or you have any tips for me!

Thanks for reading! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

[frogs-with-tea]

I think the One Piece Sound idea is Galaxy-brained. It has so much potential! The setting can be so rich, both in scenery and emotion: they’re all seeing the water and the sky and the forest all the time, but they all grew up there and they’re kinda stuck there so they don’t notice the beauty unless something brings their attention to it. And the potential for the characters! The main crew are 20-somethings living in a tourist trap - the older adults are going to consider their minimum-wage dead-end jobs (or lack thereof, looking at Luffy, king of the bums as far as they’re concerned) to be a sign of their laziness or whatever.

I’d like to think that Nami runs scams on the boardwalk to fleece tourists as legally as possible. She supports Luffy’s search for the One Piece bc she wants to be rich and famous.

I’d like to think Luffy is the goofy guy selling t-shirts out of Usopp’s van with absolutely incredible good luck (no matter what happens, he always bounces back). He’s always at every single one of Zoro’s kendo tournaments: he was the only person cheering Zoro on at Zoro’s first competition, where he foolishly challenged the current champion and got his ass beat to hell. Zoro calls him captain as an inside joke between them; they were friends first out of the group and they are each others ride-or-die. Everybody thinks Luffy is just a childlike dumbass until Luffy sets out to challenge and take down cruelty and greed in the town.

Since he was young, Sanji wanted to go to culinary school but he’s afraid to leave the town: ‘Zeff needs me, the restaurant needs me’. (‘If I leave, the Vinsmokes will find me’) After Zoro gets pregnant, Zeff is on Sanji’s ass constantly about mating/marrying the Cactus. Zeff’s views are a little old fashioned but his heart is in the right place. Sanji has the self-esteem of a flea so he’s really conflicted about it. When he finds out that people are looking down on Zoro bc he got knocked up by ‘just a line cook’ he goes nuclear (I’m thinking about a parallel between this mis-characterization of him and his bounty posters in canon being caricatures of him)

Usopp runs a “Ghost Tour!” that is 200% bullshit and he changes up the locations and stories every couple months. It is the highest-rated attraction on Trip Advisor for the town.

Robin works at the library and she’s got an extremely morbid sense of humor, which terrifies Luffy/Usopp/Chopper BUT she’s doing a lot of the reading research on the treasure and she helps in the search a lot.

Anyway, all of this is to say I think you’ve got a really winning concept on your hands and I wish you all the luck and energy to see it through!

Hey there!! It makes me really excited to hear that you're so passionate about my AU ideas!! I've actually laid out a lot of my ideas on my personal blog @spock-smokes-weed, all under the tag #one piece sound au.

My ideas for Nami and Usopp is that they would be the ones experiencing the most "my life is in a rut" type feelings since they don't have much outside of work and the straw hats. Nami works at a bait shop with her sister, cus I thought it would be fun to position Nami in the old-school economy of the town, fishing. I thought it would be a fun setting for Nami cus she's both a getting dirty with her hands kind of person and a girly girl. With Usopp, in my mind, he's that one friend who's always bouncing from job to job. If this AU is about early 20s eunni, then we all have a friend that can't seem to find a job that makes them happy or they can tolerate. Usopp is an artist at heart and a big personality, I think he'd find it hard to get fulfillment bussing tables or washing cars.

Luffy is pretty straightforward. Living in his van with his dog (Chopper), being a menace to society.

And honestly, I don't see Zeff being the traditional type at all or would give Sanji any grief about marrying Zoro. Since he exclusively hires ex-cons to work on his staff, and already has a non-traditional family with Sanji, I can't see him thinking marriage would solve any issues between Sanji and Zoro. Zeff is a big feature in the story and Sanji's biggest pillar of support, but his advice mainly comes down to "just do the right thing and take responsibility." He just wants Sanji to step up as a father and not run out like Judge did to him. Sanji doesn't react to Zoro being pregnant well (at first. he's terrified of being a father, and that causes him to lash out) and Zeff very much gives him some tough love about stepping up and taking responsibility for his actions.

And for a note about the Vinsmokes, with this AU I'm not looking for a pure 1:1 with canon. So they might be evil royalty in canon, but since I'm taking inspiration from slice-of-life, I'd rather refit them to fit tropes from that genre. I have two posts on Judge specifically and my ideas for his roll in the story, but the TL;DR is that he's a narcissistic deadbeat who only resurfaces in Sanji's life to take advantage of him and ask for money.

As for the other straw hats, I have a post here about where I think they'd fit into the town.

Also, I have a post about Zoro's focus of the story, mainly being his battle with his strength and masculinity and his struggle with the judgment he gets from the town around him.

This was all super long but I just get so excited when ppl say they like my au and all I want to do is share all the ideas I have cataloged (both on here and in my brain)

[soyouareandrewdobson]

What IS the reason you think Dobson left for good? I've heard all kinds of weird theories and rumors, usually "His parents made him!" But that doesn't make sense to me. He is an adult and they can't make him do anything, even if he lives in their house. I mean, if that's the kind of relationship he has with his parents, that's his problem but I think that's rather regressional. Unless they found out what he did, were embarassed, and threatened to boot him if he didn't stop? But that also doesn't make either because we KNOW he's been online since he quit, like when he was found commenting on a YouTube video...and then emptied his account. He also emptied his social media and web sites over time. Maybe someone else did it, but he'd need to give them access. Also, where would the parents rumor come from when there's no evidence for it? I think he was just being the ultimate whiny baby, couldn't take the criticism and injury to his ego and decided it's not worth it. He doesn't NEED to make a living anyway so why bother? I do think he's that pathetic and lazy and the answer is no more complex than that. But what do you think?

I honest to god have no idea.

The problem for me is the following: Dobson already had in years prior multiple reasons to "leave" the internet for good, but always still remained. He lost his gick with brentalfloss, his original comics failed, he got mocked on multiple plattforms, his patreon ended up earning him less than most people make in a day, he got twitter banned...

and yet he never left for good, deleted all traces and stayed out of the public ire as he did since 2020. Yet somehow, getting a bunch of shitty panels of a badly thought out comic idea leaked, as well as some tumblr users calling him out on recent shit was finally the last nail in the coffin? It somehow never added up to me, even if I assume that his mental health state was already wack.

And the rumor, that he left the internet because background checking him had cost a relative to get a governmental job, while an interesting theory, never really sounded too legit for me either.

The closest idea I have is, that perhaps his family became aware of the most recent failure of his online career and after realizing how self destructive he is for his age, particularly in the time of COVID, that they put their foot down and told him to go cold turkey or else they would have cut him out of their lives or something else.

Cause as far as I see it, the only way how to make someone like Dobson actually just "quit" with his bullshit, is if they have to face genuine consequences for their actions. And getting banned online is not consequential enough.

[thatkdpoh]

Introduction i think?

Ok so I’ve been like really excited to do this I don’t know why but this is I think controversy? I don’t know how controversy works but this is how it happened.

I am 12 yrs old, My height is 5,1 and holy shit wanna kms but I am 130 pounds. This will flucate and idk how to spell it but it’s like a line with a dot in the front or end and it goes left to right so I flucate to 130 to 140 I hate that.

How I know about ED/Backstory/rant (cringy ik sorry :c :

I was always a fat kid and I’ve hated it, I understand that I didn’t care about my weight but when I was like what 8 to 9 whenever my dad would say cow to me in taqvaylit I don’t know how to write it but I know something’s like amcic or tizizwith or afkroune which is cat, bee and turtle in that order. I would feel self conscious and sometimes cry to because I’m very sensitive which is like cringy i know lol. My heaviest had to been this year like 140 pounds but I think it was water weight and shit. Anyways my mom tried to get me to fast and she would force me or smth maybe not force but like tried to get me to lose weight. She’d say it directly and it would always make me feel bad but like I understand being 130 for like 8 yrs or 9 to 12 is very heavy and embarrassing considering I always saw kids would be more skinner than me I’d feel very bad. Until recently like last year in 6th grade I was reading fanfics of a human au of TMNT i didnt know what ED’s were so when it showed up the word bulimia I thought it meant bullshit but it didn’t sound right so I searched it up and saw the symptoms that’s when I also learned about anorexia and pica etc. When I saw the symptoms I started copying them now this is the part that I think is controversy I copied the symptoms which I know was bad but I was fucking lazy and still am couldn’t do a workout for the life of me or restrict food, I was used to eating a lot and when I saw the symptoms I copied them and they worked!! I loved it and then the minute I knew how to starve myself, I actually don’t know how to continue with that but I didn’t know how much of a deeper hole I got into but I really loved it and still do EMBARRASING. I did do exercise I did like 100 sit ups a day which did nothing but it did make my body ache and stopped, 5th grade was the worst out of all my grades for now but 6th might be second but it wasn’t that bad just a lot of crying and seeing how fat I am made me cry that’s it. Now if I don’t starve at all or try too I would feel like shit. In 6th grade I also saw that purging was a symptom so I made myself throw up but only if I ate way to fucking much and I’m so bloated it hurts and I can’t take the pressure so I throw up just to take off a little pressure and go back but then I’d feel sick which sucked :C. When Ramandan came though I was A BEAST not an actual beast but like it was my oppertuinity to fast without anyone questioning because I live in a studio apartment with 5 other people that are my family >_<. Obviously with my blabber mouth which I hate told everything to my mom but I think she thinks that I’m ok now :D. Any way I’d only eat 5 tablespoons of soup every night and I was very tired and I lost 6 pounds!! Which isn’t a lot but I made it to 124 pounds!! But then I gained it all back in summer break, cried, tried to fast for 3 days but fainted on the 36 hour?? I’m not sure because when I stopped the fast because my mom told me to eat and spoiler alert I cried cause I have little bitchitas if u know Kubz scouts u know. I paused at the 38 hour so like 36 is my highest to fast which is embarrassing again. ANYWAY NOW IM IN 7TH GRADE STUGGLIJG EITH THIS THINGY :]] I sound like those I guess I deserve it heh thing but like no I’m not seriously I just wanted to be silly. Anyway I’m gonna try that ABC diet which I think seems kind of mid to hard but I think fitnesspal would help me with it <33

BYE EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT DAY OR NIGHT HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING SND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! :33

[obeymycok]

Demon bros vs Karen

I work at a trampoline park and unfortunately there's no shortage of crazy people who take their kids there. Last 2 weeks have been especially rough due to being understaffed and reaching max capacity all the time so this is a very self indulgent fic/headcanons. The bros come to see MC at work and someone is just absolutely going off on their precious human. MC is literally almost in tears but the Karen doesn't let up. What would the most powerful Rulers of Hell do to stand up for their MC?

I started this in the beginning of August and it took a more comforting turn at the end. 

Taglist: @trashlord-007 @asmos-slut ​  @q-ueue @simpinginthecorner @thatoneweebdammit

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If you all aren't ready to go through this portal in 3 seconds I'm leaving you behind!" Lucifer yelled at his disorganized, bickering brothers.

"He started it!" Levi whined as he smacked Mammon one more time for good measure.

"I don't care who started it, I'll finish it!" Lucifer yelled before letting out a very tired sigh. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to take all 7 of them to the human world to visit MC. Mammon and Beel were excited to jump around and go wild. Satan and Belphie wanted to see what you do at work and catch up a bit. Asmo wanted to see all the cute kids but was worried about getting sweaty and dirty. Levi wasn't really down for all the people but you promised he could chill in the break room on the employee wifi if it ever got too much. And Lucifer just wanted to check up on you and make sure you were doing fine they all simp so bad it's embarrassing lmfao.

They finally get to the parking lot and see that the place is PACKED. Levi immediately gets nervous, while the other mostly just get annoyed. They walk in anyway towards the front desk where they see a long line.

"Looks like only one register is working." Satan stated as he realized no one else was at the other monitors.

"UHHH of course we had to pick a busy day..." Levi grumbled to himself as he slipped his headphones on.

Lucifer was about to scold the lot when they heard a shout from the front.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing? This is taking forever! Besides I'm already paying this much money for the wristbands alone and now you want me to PURCHASE special SOCKS too!? Fuck you!"

“I feel bad for whoever’s up front right now...” Beel said with a small frown.

“I-I’m sorry Ma’am, those are the rules of the park."

Wait a second...

Their collective 4 brain cells all came together and realized just who was facing off with the true demon.

“I think you’re just a dipshit who doesn’t know how to do their job! Lazy kids these days....I wanna speak to your MANAGER!”

Thankfully, just as the brothers were all about to collectively lose their shit, the manager stepped in and had the police called. They all quickly followed MC to the break room, Lucifer explaining to the manager that they were family and going to comfort MC.

“OI MC”

“Oh are you okay my darling?”

“This is why I hate normies...”

“Guys, come on. Give them a little space.” Beel said as he pushed through Mammon, Asmo and Levi.

He sat down next to MC on the small couch and gently put his hand on their back, slowly rubbing small circles. MC just latched onto Beel and started sobbing. Everyone else took that as their queue to gather as well, some just standing, others pulling up chairs, and the lucky few who also fit on the couch. The sobs soon turned to hiccups and sniffles as they started wiping their face.

“Here honey, use this.” Asmo said softly, pulling out some tissues as Satan also handed them a water bottle.

“Thanks guys...sorry about all that...” MC started but was quickly cut off by Mammon.

“Hey, don’t you start apologizing. That lady was a real bitch and that was really shitty what she said to you. It was also bullshit since...y’know...you’re always helping us when we need it. And obviously, if the Seven Avatars of the Devildom couldn’t solve their problems, no lazy idiot could.” He finished with a blush as he fought to maintain eye contact.

“Or they’re all idiots too.” MC said jokingly with a little chuckle.

Mammon took that as his cue to joke back, being all fake offended. Everyone else was giggling at the scene soon enough as Lucifer spoke up.

“That, we are, but that doesn’t make you any less of such an amazing person.”

“You should just come back with us MC. I’m sure you’re tired. We can take a nap together.” Belphie said with a cute lil smile.

“Sorry guys...I still have another hour left on my shift an-”

“No need to worry, MC. When I was talking with your manager, she’d told me to tell you to leave early. Only one person can run the front desk anyway and she was more than willing to make adjustments for you.” Lucifer added before they could finish their sentence.

MC sighed with relief and closed their eyes for a second. Looking back up and being greeted with those seven smiling faces was ironically heaven.

“Let’s go home.”

[duskdrawings]

Kind-Of Rant About ST Queerbaiting

I know it may seem silly to get so worked up over fictional characters and relationships but, honestly, this whole queerbaiting bullshit with volume 2 of Stranger Things season 4 has really thrown me. And it's not just a problem with this specific show by any means and I do love Stranger Things a lot and I always will - but I just feel that so much potential was lost and it could have been so much better.

I wasn't expecting all of our beloved gay ships to become canon and everyone to come out and ride down a rainbow together but we literally didn't get ANYTHING of substance (Besides some bare-bones last minute attempt with Vickie and Robin, which felt rather lazy to me, especially in comparison to all of the other pairings in the show that seemed to get plenty of airtime).

I've experienced plenty of queerbaiting in the past with other shows but after so much of it, it just gets to the point where I almost feel like, is this all we'll ever get? I feel like we deserve so much better than this. How wonderful could things have been if such a huge mainstream show really said "fuck the str8s for one second" and gave us Byler or Ronance or Steddie or even just a proper coming out scene for Will or Robin (as literally only Steve knows about her being gay) or someone else.

Why is it that a character could be so strongly implied to be gay but so many people still deny it and say it's wrong? (Heck, even after Robin literally saying she likes girls and NOT Steve, plenty of people STILL try and pair her up with Steve). Why do we always have to strongly justify gay pairings when so many straight pairings have been thrown together for literally no reason, besides the fact that they are a man and woman and know each other in some form. The amount of times I've sat through films and watched a man and a woman get together and have had NO IDEA why and the amount of times I've seen two people of the same gender have amazing chemistry and potential but then get sidelined for some straight coupling that came out of nowhere.

And why should we have to be happy and grateful for literal crumbs. The emotional scene with Will talking to Mike and basically saying how he felt about Mile but framing it as if this was El, I already know plenty of people will take that and say we are reaching, whilst others will say we should be happy that we even got that. Why should we be happy when a big chunk of the audience can't even tell that the meaning behind it was gay?

Also there's that whole "we need more healthy friendships between two guys/two girls", which I understand to a certain degree but also that's literally MOST of what we have anyway. Most shows revolve around the girls sticking together, the guys sticking together and anytime a girl or guy interact then they MUST want each other.

Whilst queer fictional characters don't HAVE to have a storyline surrounding them being queer, I just feel like there should be at least some kind of canon recognition of the fact that they are queer in some way? We shouldn't have to come out but with where we are at the moment, we still have a long way to go with representation and I feel like it's a bit different with fictional characters. It doesn't even have to be anything big and loud and ground-breaking, just give us SOMETHING. And when we do get something, there's always people saying that it wasn't necessary and questioning why we need LGBTQ+ representation? Which I don't even have the time to go into all the reasons why we clearly need it!

And I know people are saying that something could happen in season 5, but why must we always have to keep sticking around and just hoping that these writers will throw us a bone right at the end of their shows? Whenever we do get LGBTQ+ representation it often has to get thrown in right at the very end, so we often barely get to see much actually come of it, or the LGBTQ+ characters end up dying at the end anyway. Is it too much to ask to see a group of 80s outcasts being rainbowy together?

But my Ronance heart will forever stand strong, regardless of what the Duffer Brother's do! And it honestly makes me so happy and proud of our LGBTQ+ community to see everyone rallying together and wanting to create content to fix all the problems the show had, so our favourite characters and ships can thrive. Now that's truly something special! So, to end on a happier note, FUCK queerbaiting and all of your favourite characters are alive and LGBTQ+ and all of your favourite ships are canon! Why? Because we say so! 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[firelightfoxes]

do you find mudi people to be gatekeepers? Before I started asking actual people I read up a lot on them on many diff breeders/ club websites and from all the info I found I thought they fit me well so I went on fb to ask… the amount of people I got telling me I do not want a mudi, that they are incredibly difficult dogs with XYZ bad traits and that I’m lying if I say I’m ok/ want that was insane. It honestly sounded like they hate their dogs?? I mentioned I wanted to dabble in sports but wouldn’t mind a dog who wouldn’t do them, and half of the comments were either jumping down my throat because ‘most mudis do not do well in sports and you shouldn’t get one solely for that’ and the other half were telling me to get serious because dabbling shows a lack of commitment and mudis need a job. I’m half thankful I’m not in the US and wouldn’t have to deal with that community if I end up with a mudi. Anyway, with all that, would you mind giving a rundown on mudis/ any resources(like sites) on their temperament? Sorry for the rant it’s just been very frustrating 😅.

hi!! this is a great ask. i'm really sorry you went through the gatekeeping bullshit, it seems to be pretty rampant. i actually made a small post on this a little while back but i'm too lazy to go find it.

so, i feel like that gatekeeping comes from one of two places, and sometimes both:

the person wants to feel really special about owning a rare breed, so they make it seem much more difficult than it really is to scare away potential new owners and keep the breed as unpopular as possible so that they can continue to be Special

the person wanted a unique sports dog that wasn't a border collie but didn't realize that not all mudis will excel in sports or even be able to tolerate a sporting environment, and they legitimately regret getting a mudi (i literally saw someone say this almost word for word).

so you kind of have two overlapping schools of thought there, and the second one is a bit more valid than the first. so, i wouldn't really advertise mudi as like, a competitive sport prospect breed. they certainly CAN excel at sports, they are quick, intelligent, and very biddable. but they also dislike repetition and can be quite sensitive, which can make it hard to nail down important foundations and also it can be hard for them to stay stable in a trial environment. ideally, a mudi would not be this unstable, but unfortunately it does happen. so like i kinda understand where a person with #2's idea would be coming from but it still is unpleasant and gatekeepy. and it's also not the breed's fault if you got one for uniqueness without taking their entire temperament into account.

either way, if you're reading about mudis and you think they might be a good fit, that's awesome! i think my number one recommendation would be to meet them before getting one if possible. they truly are unique little guys and it's hard to describe that without having met one. i think they're the perfect dog to dabble in sports with because they're most happy when they're with their person, whatever you might be doing.

as far as places to learn more about the mudi, i really like this article, and i would recommend reaching out to some breeders! Wodan Kennels and Graves Farm are two great kennels run by people who love the breed and would be happy to help you learn more about them (regardless of if you want to get a puppy from them or not).

also, i saw your other ask and no worries :) i really liked how in-depth your ask was so i intentionally wanted to answer it bc gatekeeping almost kept ME out of the breed and look at me now!! it's important to be realistic but still welcoming and some people just don't get that.

thanks for the ask and sorry that it's an essay!!

[game-boy-pocket]

And so there ends my run of Super Mario RPG. One of the only runs I'll ever get to finish on a cartridge from my childhood. This didn't take long, cuz I started playing it not long after I got my SNES. I stopped playing in Monstro Town because of all the bullshit happening in my living situation, I decided to pack it up early to be ready to move. If I ever play this one again, I just might see if there's any good romhacks or an MSU-1 version. Cuz i've played this one a million times already, did I mention I went through a period where this was one of the only games I had to play and I lived way out in the country with no friends nearby and nothing for kids to do? It was either this, Mario World, or a handful of games I wasn't that keen on, so I played a ton of Mario...

This time I decided to beat the game using Mallow and Geno. I normally switch to Bowser and Toadstool almost immediately as I get them, not because I didn't like these new characters, but this was the very first time you could have Bowser on your side and that was such a huge deal at the time, and Toadstool is just a very overpowered healer. It was tough but I managed to do it... and the secret Final Fantasy Boss as well.

... Mallow actually won by the skin of his teeth, only because he had the secret Lazy Shell armor that makes most damage meaningless.

Anyway..

Man I wish I could just make newer Mario fans understand why this was so special and why it's worth fighting for the likes of Geno and Mallow to be staples of the greater Mario universe even if only in spinoffs... it's not just some annoying boomer pick for Smash Bros, it's something old time Mario fans like me hold dear because for a brief time it kind of defined Mario's world when we previously only had a bunch of brick blocks to work with. I want a remake or a sequel so badly, especially now that they're not really making more traditional RPGs anymore... Anyway.. I guess now i'ts time to move on to EarthBound as my next RPG since they managed to tie in that poll I did... though I also kind of feel pokemon Crystal calling me.