#anyway there is something about the impulse to struggle for a better life in this specific setting of stories corrupted by who knows what

[olreid]

[ID: Ally (as Timothy): I don't know about you, but my life does get worse and worse as I die.

Brennan (as the Sea Witch): Is your life supposed to be good? end ID]

work.

[oswildin]

Loki x ADHD!Partner Headcannons

Please note this is written using my own understanding/knowledge of ADHD (general), and from my own personal experience with neurodivergence (autism). ADHD, same as autism, is not the same for everyone!

Loki knew you struggled with keeping your thoughts in check, sometimes it was like a hundred things were going round in your mind and yet you just could not focus on one damn thing.

Loki knew you could get frustrated, distracted, agitated by this issue, and he hated that. He would do his best to help where he could, ensuring you remembered important things - appointments, commitments, tasks, anything that he thought could slip your mind, he had your back.

“Oh, did you make that phone call you mentioned earlier?” “Here’s your tea, you left it in the kitchen, I didn’t want it to go cold.” “Let me help you with that.” “Let’s sit down and formulate a plan.”

He was always gentle with his reminders, never getting angry or upset with your moments of forgetfulness. He understood that it was a genuine mistake, that sometimes… these things happen.

When you need to just yap, Loki is always happy to listen. He loves listening to you talk. He knows it makes you feel better, it makes you happy, and that makes him happy.

Feeling anxious? A little overwhelmed? Like you can’t shut your mind off? Loki is on the case.

“Come.” Loki would say gently, a small smile on his lips as he guided you to the living room he’d told you to stay out of for the last half an hour. When you enter, your favourite film is ready on the TV, a snuggly blanket is waiting for you on the couch, and a variety of snacks (and of course multiple drinks) are also there for you to enjoy. “I thought perhaps it could help calm your mind a bit, just for a while.”

He always keeps a mental note of where you leave things - like your phone, earphones, keys etc. Or if he sees them in the ‘wrong spot’ he will move them so they’re clearly visible to you. He also knows sometimes things become apart of the furniture so to speak. To be honest, he’s the same with his books.

Trouble sleeping? Loki will make you some tea, light some scented candles that smell like lavender, maybe even put on some soothing, relaxing music - anything to try and help you relax and unwind. He’ll even read to you. Or he will simply stay awake with you. It’s fine, he doesn’t need much sleep anyway, he’s a God.

Have a lot of tasks/chores that need doing and you don’t know where to start? No worries, Loki actually loves organising things - being methodical. He will sit with you and help make a list of things to do.

If you’re having a bad day, maybe experiencing some mood swings, Loki is patient. He is understanding. At first, he thought he was doing something wrong, but when he began to read up about ADHD and gather as much information as he could to understand and help you, he realised that it was something you couldn’t help, it wasn’t him.

If you snap at him or get frustrated/hot tempered, Loki simply gives you your space. Although he is always near, never wanting you to feel like he was leaving you alone or that he doesn’t want to be around you. No, that isn’t it. He just knows from his own experience with anger that sometimes you just need a moment to cool off and take a breath.

Feeling spontaneous? Well, lucky for you, Loki is always onboard. It makes life interesting!

However, if you’re feeling impulsive and it’s something that Loki considers… ‘reckless’ - he will always try and steer your attention to something else, something more productive and fun.

“When did that get there?” You’d once asked, furrowed brows as you looked at the book shelf Loki had put up. Loki raised a brow, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Two weeks ago.” He told you lightly, a slight tease to his voice. “Oh.” You blinked. “I wonder what else I could do around here before you notice…” Loki mused playfully, feigning deep thought. “Shut up.” You rolled your eyes playfully, amused.

Loki is always there to help any way he can, make your life easier, whether to listen, lend a hand. He knows that sometimes things can be hard, feel impossible, be too much… And he never judges you. He wants to be there, he wants to make you feel comfortable, he wants to let you feel seen and understood.

“You are amazing.” Loki told you, peering down at you as you were snuggled against him. “Truly, I’m so proud of you.” He pressed a kiss to your temple as you smiled. “And you know, whatever you need, whenever you need it…” He raised a brow, tilting his head playfully. “Well, I’m not going anywhere.”

[briebysabs]

Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)

I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.

And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.

And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?

Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.

But Link Click was never about perfect people.

What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?

It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.

If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.

Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?

Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.

[operationandre]

crazy Cal hcs please plz plz 🙏 also have u listened to Inside … by Decalius? there’s a cal sample from zero day 😩

CRAZY/DISTURBED CAL HCS

- When Cal was little, he would find dead animals, usually birds or squirrels, sometimes even roadkill he could find, and pick at them. He didn’t really want to torture them; he just wanted to look at what was inside.

- There were times he found animals that were injured, not dead. He would judge how badly the injuries were. Most of the time, he would say the injuries would result in the animal’s passing anyways, which wasn’t always true. He would take rocks and smash them over the head so he could examine them, deciding it was better sooner than later. He thought he was a good person to put them out of their misery.

- His actions above got him obsessed with blood, whether it be his own, another person’s, or an animal’s.

- Every time Cal came in from playing outside as a kid, he would have blood on his clothes. As he got older, he made up excuses such as nosebleeds or falling and scraping his knee or elbow.

- In kindergarten, there were multiple instances of Cal hurting others. Two examples are when he yanked a girl’s hair during nap time, ultimately tearing chunks of hair out, and when he pushed someone off the rock climbing wall, causing a kid to break their leg.

- Cal didn’t cry much as a kid, even as a baby. When he broke his nose as a kid (something he did often), he didn’t cry. When he was sick, he didn’t cry. When he fractured his elbow, he still did not cry.

- Cal doesn’t care about being in public. He genuinely doesn’t act differently in public compared to in private. If he’s told to be quiet or stop pestering someone, he’ll just get louder and almost always lashes out. There have been multiple instances of him facing repercussions for this, including the fight in the movie.

- Cal didn’t begin hurting himself because he was sad. He felt so distant from life and from his body that it was fun to hurt. He would enjoy watching his body squirm with pain, a natural response even though he was so numb that he couldn’t feel it.

- Cal does not care about hurting people’s feelings. There have been times he’s said things that truly hurt people like Rachel, his parents, and his siblings. This is part of what makes him like Andre. Andre doesn’t take shit from him and insults him back.

- Ever since Cal was young, he didn’t care about safety or responsibility. He acted purely on impulse. If something would hurt him, he didn’t shy away from it.

- An example of the above is when Cal made Andre close his eyes while driving. Andre had gotten used to Cal’s antics and played along.

- When Cal was charged with possession, he did not care. While this seems normal, Cal went beyond normal. He would play in front of cops more. He would act out just to see if the police would do anything worse. He would fight with his parents about it and leave the house to buy more.

- During Zero Day, Cal would stand by people after he hit them. He liked to hear them struggle, to see the life fade from their eyes.

- Cal likes risk; he likes danger. This is obvious when he asks Chris which gun would be best to use on someone. When Chris kind of dodged the question, Cal asked again. He didn’t care that he almost gave Zero Day away.

- Cal fights just to fight. He’ll start shit with anyone who is willing to talk to him. He just wants the stimulation and likes making others frustrated.

- Cal can lie 24/7. He is good at it. It’s not even a conscious decision most of the time.

[marshmcore]

Pondering Sniper with his Emotional Support Scout (AU)

Modern+College AU speeding bullet

Both in their early transitional age (Scout is 19, Sniper is 22), they’ve already spent a handful of years, supposedly taking the steps to build their futures, but are they where they want to be? Are they going to where they want to be? Where is it anyways?

I just had the idea for a more grounded side to their story, slice-of-life in a coming-of-age setting, with themes of existentialism. I aged them down to make it work… Under cut for info dumps about these goobers 8)

Scout took a break right after high school, working for his family business (an unsuccessful one, ran by one of his oldest brothers). This used to be a summer job, a way to get extra money as a kid, but now he’s been a full time worker for 2.5 years, familial obligations exploiting him to stay, while being undermined by his narcissistic brother. He eventually gets out of it, but has to face the hurt from being used, and also the fact that he had to grow up so quickly as a kid (especially when he has to deal with the fallout caused by his Mom’s and Spy’s affairs. He and his Mom are in good terms, it’s just his Mom isn’t a good support system atm). Left to face the real world by himself, he tries to find a way to stabilize by himself, while trying to face his trauma (trauma from a missing father figure, and being treated as the black sheep of his family) as he finds a way to be more himself and be happy. He’s optimistic and responsible when the world calls for it, otherwise he’s most likely to test this new freedom (for better or worse). Eventually Spy comes around to try to reconnect with Scout, there’s no telling how Scout will cope with it when he’s in the midst his new-found freedom.

Sniper went straight to university, never once took a break from the school work, because he thinks that’s the only way to go about in life. He took up a program and career plan that was not right for him, but struggled his way through by retaking course’s countless of times, pulling off impossible all-nighters, etc. At some point he gave up, began to drop classes every semester, and finally quit the program. However, he started working somewhere in the industry he had been studying years for. He thought this could bring him forward, but it kept digging him a deeper grave. He’s a workaholic, impulsive, but lost. At a very young age, he was a subject of a tough custody battle between his neglectful biological parents (Lar-nah and Bill-bel), and his grandparents (who are Mr and Mrs Mundee in this AU). From that, his guardians want him to be better than his parents, and in return he strived for that. However, after giving up, he feels like a failure and is currently going through a period of depression. However, with the money he earned from his job, he wonders if he should take that road-trip he used to fantasize. He told himself doing this will help him find himself, but a part of him wonders if its just him trying to run away from something. Either way, he’s got a deal for a junk RV and he wants to renovate it!

After all that, Scout and Sniper meet, their lives are in the cross roads, and their relationship is a turning point as well. It feels like the world is moving faster than they can cope with, but can they find some respite in this new relationship together? DUN DUN DUUUN

Phew this was really fun to write! I really like their dynamic, romantic or not (idc). Them being the same age range inspired me to write this, because I know myself and some friends have gone through this similar experience aswell, and I just think its fun/interesting to explore that with they have in cannon.

A lot of this projection tho lmao with a loose base derived from cannon, and some embellishments to make this AU work.

[bonefall]

My birthday was a couple days ago, and I got to see my bio dad for the first time in a while. He surprised me with the fact that I have a little half-sister, whom I've never met and who was adopted about two years back. So, I wondered if any situations in BB mimic this or have a theme of "secret siblings" or "secret family"? Sorry if this is a weird ask; this blog is honestly just such a cool little place and I love the way you approach the subject matter and take the flawed misogynistic foundation of the WC books and make them so much better (JUSTICE FOR BUMBLE!!!). I've also learned a lot about healthy and unhealthy relationships here and am really glad for your deep dives on Squilf and Bramble. Thanks, Bones!

Not weird at all! I really like exploring all the little nooks and crannies of complicated familial dynamics. I think one of the untapped strengths of WC (that the writers seem to be unaware of) is how their MASSIVE cast allows them to present all sorts of unique dynamics. So I like to pick up on it, since they don't.

For secret siblings...

I'm pretty heavily leaning towards Ambermoon being adopted by Wildfur, as a surrogacy. Something feels correct about it. Especially since Icecloud is getting retooled into a post-Battle of the True Eclipse birth, and a major supporting character in AVoS-era stories as a friend of Alderheart.

Thinking about it, I should zoom in and expand this. Maybe have Icecloud, somehow, acquire forbidden knowledge that would invalidate the Queen’s Rights and he (transman) struggles with if he's going to use it to expose his parents as an excuse to help Ambermoon.

(Especially since Ambermoon and Icecloud are basically nothing alike. Amber is independent, bold, and vain. Ice is jessie pinkman big-hearted, disorganized, and deceptively meek if you look past his "chill" demeanor)

But that's wip-- there's also Breezepelt and the Three, who are going to have an actual friendship. In particular I can't unsee Breeze and Lion having a deep one. I know I commit the Cardinal Sin of borderline himbo-ifying Lionblaze in BB, but I can't help it.

Hollyleaf ended up nabbing a bunch of his most violent roles to make her villainous descent smoother narratively, so BB!Lionblaze's story ends up being more focused on Ashfur's abuse, comic relief with cats in other Clans (something that the very serious Jay and Holly have a hard time providing), and the emotional fallout of the big reveal and Bramblestar's turn on them. Breezepelt slots neatly into that.

They were friends. Lionblaze's whole life came down around the reveal, everyone looking at him and his siblings differently, like they're suddenly something terrible. Why can't we find a silver lining, Breezepelt? Why can't we call ourselves brothers if the whole world is going to do it anyway? So much is changing, but THIS doesn't have to, we will take their weapon and turn it to armor, my ally, my friend, my brother.

(and when Breezepelt is lashing out at the three because of the Dark Forest's influence, Lionblaze is there, taking the blows and trying not to give in to the impulse to send him flying with a single paw)

There's also Harespring and Kestrelflight of WindClan and Owlclaw of ShadowClan. All of them are from a single litter between Whitewater and Mudclaw. She was going to raise the three of them alone as ShadowClan cats, but when the sire was smote, Whitewater felt they were cursed.

She was able to give the oldest two to their bio-uncle, Torear, but the weather was so bad that day and the runt was so sickly and small that it surely would have killed him. I don't think Owlclaw ever finds out why his mother always treated him with suspicion, but it did mess him up horribly.

Over in BB!DOTC, Thunder Storm is getting more half-siblings earlier. Clear Sky and Falling Feather had two daughters-- Pale Sky and Tiger Sky.

I want to explore the way that the various stages of Clear Sky's life acted on his kids. How any little curiosity Thunder Storm had about the life he might have had if he wasn't abandoned is crushed by seeing kittens who weren't. How Clear's favoritism of his oldest child set the trio against each other from the start. How this idea of "love" is toxic yet intoxicating.

It feels good to be the golden child. The power it gives you over his sycophants is satisfying. To know you, and you alone, have what someone else craves. Problem is, that's conditional, and it's cruel.

What Thunder Storm learns from his time with his biodad is that Clear Sky is not his father at all. He's taught him exactly what he DOESN'T want to be. There may be similarities-- in temperament, in physical prowess (though BB!Thunder is three-legged, he's still ripped), in taste and senses. But Thunder Storm's father is Shaded Flower.

(BB!Gray Wing died in the first book, rescuing Shaded Flower from being trampled by a horse. Xey're a patron of wisdom, Shaded Moss is taking the role of fatherhood to Thunder)

His sister is Rainswept Flower. His mom is Bright Storm. If there was a bond he could have had with Tiger Sky and Pale Sky, it dies simply and cruelly on the knife they used to cut each other out.

Pale might have wanted to mend it, she was the gentler one. But she dies in the First Battle along with her mother. Tiger Sky is too stubborn to accept any help, should Thunderstar offer it, and Thunderstar isn't in the business of begging for others to like him.

Naturally I'm lowkey obsessed with them lmao. I need to make a BB!DOTC overviewww

[eunkitarot]

Jake as a bf a tarot read:

Five of Cups: idk usually i dont link to star signs and would read it solely with the card itself. But 5 of c is closely connected to scorpio. Jake is scorpio rising and scorpio venus. Scorpios tend to be very emotionally sensative and they tend to dwell on losses. They have a hard time to focus on the positives. So as a bf, Jake would be someone that need reassurances and a partner that can cheer him up and tell him that everything will be okay. If he thinks he messed up, he would feel very regretful. ' I could have done better' . Because of this too , it could cause Jake to have difficulties forgiving if you mess up. Because scorpios like to relive past events and go through the hurt all over again. Makes sense why they are one of the most revengeful signs. But I am not saying this about Jake specifically, more as for Scorpios generally.

EDIT YALL: apparently some ppl think he is LEO RISING and some ppl say he is LIBRA rising also scorpio rising. So we are not really sure here cause we dont know the time of birth. But his venus is scorpio so i think this more to his venus then. The way he loves. The inner conflict and emotional turmoil.

The devil: this card touches on desires.as a bf he may be someone that have high sexual drive. I think this is a side that only his partner will know. It can be pretty tiring for his partner because his demands can be a lot. Jake as a bf is someone that can also be seductive towards his partner. So in this aspect, as bf he will fulfill it well.

Ten of Pentacles:as a bf he wants something stable and definitely long term. And to be honest he would want to have a family with you if given the chance. He is a person that believes in settling down eventually. Start a family with someone he loves, have kids sent them to school. He is all about that life. Maybe not now but eventually.

Knight of swords: as a bf , jake would be someone that is action oriented. Can be someone that is head over heart here. In terms of your relationship, he might be quick in making decisions and it can be a bit rash. He is not afraid to take risk though, so if you are going through something , he will just try to solve it as soon as possible for u and if its high risk. He would take it anyways, as long as you are alright. However this focus on intellect and action can sometimes lead to a lack of emotional sensitivity or awareness on his part.

Overall energy, Knight if wands:so similar to knight of swords they are both fast moving. So this can indicate Jake can be impulsive in his actions. But with this card, as a bf he is very passionate and fiery. Very high energy. He can have high vitality in bed and also just overall in your relationship. Jake will be very excited to be with you and would do anything for you. Very spontaneous energy.

This read is the most unclear read among the members to me. I struggle to describe the cards here. Which rarely happens. So to me Jake is not letting me really read into what type of bf he is. There is something secretive and private here compare to other members. Very scorpio of him. He is not letting his cards seen. Anyways a gift for yall and edit that perfectly embodies Jake Sim for u🤭

Credit on ig :@/daemsiel

[furiousgoldfish]

(osdd, behaviour theories)

I've figured out from my interactions with other alters that I must be kind of a caretaker, at least for the children, other adult parts don't seem to need care. I am the only adult part who consistently attempts to take care of the children, even as they consistently reject me.

I'm starting to think that maybe if I'm in the caretaker role, this is my problem with interacting people in real life; my instincts are still just to take care of people, especially people younger than me, and I often give in to that impulse, and end up doing a lot to make other people's lives easier, to offer them comfort, food, favours, information that might be helpful, company when they need it, entertainment, validation, and pretty much anything else they might want. I usually do it because I can't watch them struggle on their own, knowing that I can make things easier for them, and they don't need to figure everything out alone if I'm here. It also triggers me when they're in pain and alone because I was in pain and alone all my life, to see that reflected in others is excruciating and I end up doing everything I can to prevent that.

But, all these people consistently end up doing harm to me, I've complained before about how I've had to cut off, or have been betrayed in insane amount of friendships, it keeps happening. I've thought a lot about why does it happen, why can't I ask even one thing out of them without them acting brutal in return, people would get angry at me even if I just ask them to sit down and watch a video with me so I would calm down. And there's been extreme harm, one of them stole money from me, creating huge financial troubles, some of them broke my stuff, when it was obvious that I only have very little and depend on what I have, they never replaced what they broke, even when I asked them to. Lots of them attempted or even succeeded into forcing me to do something against my will for them, some of them turned on me and started insulting and attacking me for being sick, some of them threatened me, or attempted to physically hurt me.

It's always the most unexpected batshit thing that happens and I get heartbroken because, I'd never do it to them, or anyone, and I've invested energy and care into these people and never hoped to get anything in return, but it was beyond me that it would come back to hurt me.

So, naturally as the result of all that, I've decided to stop caretaking, but here's the thing; I can't stand it. I literally can't stand seeing a person in need and not offering help. I've berated myself for it, attempted to keep distance and act apathetic, and it's still like a compulsion, it chafes on me to know there's someone somewhere in pain and I'm not by their side making it better.

And now I've started thinking, wait, what if this is the osdd thing? Because I'm the caretaker part of the system, that's my role, it's what I was made for in the system, and being constantly in the real world, I end up caring for other people. The system rejects me so I am not able to care for the other parts of me, and I end up doing it for other real people instead.

Is this why I do everything? Is this why I made this blog? Because I'm a misguided caretaker created to comfort my other parts but then I couldn't and now I'm just stuck trying to help just anyone I possibly could? Is this just a manifestation of osdd dysfunction?

I'm now questioning everything I do, trying to connect it to my role, but it does feel like I do things desperately trying to help others, but I'm also at this point, terrified of others, and still can't stop trying to help anyway. I feel cursed. I wonder how it would be to not be so separated from the parts of me that are more apathetic and even hateful of other people, I think for sure the urge to take care of them would go down. I feel so dysfunctional.

[ohtransarchon]

Thoughts on top surgery; two months post op

Hi hi, I am almost two months post op now- soo basically 2 months. I have a weird gender, I'm sure many can relate so I want to give some reassurance for anyone out there who maybe struggled like I did. I they ever stumble upon this :)

So hi! I struggled for a while with "do I really want this" and people around me (not counting my supportive friends) like my family and such kept pushing that narrative, I was once told I should wait 10 more years before I got top surgery, and that sucked to hear because I've been wanting this since I was 16 and now I was 20- was I really supposed to waste my twenties on "making sure" I really wanted this? That was upsetting.

Ultimately I didn't listen. The person who said that to me is a cishet person anyways, she wouldn't really know how I was struggling to begin with. So in December of 2023 I finally got tired of the struggle and made an "impulsive" call to the clinic, got my consultation and come march I get my surgery! Seven weeks later, here I am.

If you're looking for advice here is what I have; Come to terms with regret, I decided to do this "unsure" because you can't truly be 100% sure of things in life, but you can't sit still either- you can't wait forever. That was something I was stuck with so to let myself move forward I accepted that regret might be something I'll face in the future. There might come a day where I realize "oh, now I miss having boobs" and that's alright! I'm not saying I was really unsure about actually doing the surgery, I really wanted to of course!

I just faced that you never know what might happen in the future and I shouldn't wait around for it. :]

uhh and this one goes out for anyone with a size difference like me (yes I know breast are usually not symmetrical)

So I had a very uneven chest. My right side was pretty normal but my left side looked more like a man with gynecomastia would- as such my surgery results are a little uneven- AND THAT'S FINE! A lot of people feel so bad for me for the unevenness :') it makes me feel bad, makes me feel like I've been messed up. So many people said my surgeon was incompetent but I don't think so, he's been doing this for almost as long as I've been alive and I think he did great with what he had and I'm grateful :)

And also, I'm flat now and I honestly couldn't be happier!

I feel normal. and I feel great :)

(little side note; there is fluid build up/fat on the side that's lower down currently so it'll probably look a little better once I get that fixed) but yeah, I'll probably be a little uneven unless I realize I reaaaally want to get surgery to be symetrical idk, I'm flat and happy and those are my thoughts :)

[b3achysurfur]

If we notice in the webtoon, Taylor and Ben are the only ones who have not been seriously injured...

Aiden was crushed

Tyler was impaled

Ashlyn had a concussion

Logan ended up with a big cut on his side

Do you think something worse could happen to Taylor and Ben?

I think eventually all of them will face some sort of serious injury, so I highly doubt Ben and Taylor will be safe. I think ashlyn and Logan will also get more deadly wounds soon (hope Logan is first in line 🙏)

But I do find it interesting that they are the only two unharmed. Especially since they had a mini romance going on in S1. awwww I miss them 😢

Whats also interesting is how impulsive, destructive, and agressive Taylor has been lately as well as her increased screentime 😈

We’ve also unfortunately seen Logan get a lot of panels lately as well. And idk if u guys remember S1 but Tyler, ashlyn, and Aiden were the ones who got a lot of attention. But now that Tyler and Aiden are out , the attention has shifted to Taylor and Logan. But not Ben!!!!! (I want more Ben screentime, fuck Logan no body gaf what’s going on with him 😒 tell me ab Benny boy NOOOWWWW!!!!!!)

my point is Taylor or Logan may be the next to experience a major event. They’ve also been the ones exhibiting the most “phantom traits” , MOSTLY Taylor tho. also there’s a few other things that point to Taylor being in harms way very soon.

but basically the signs are telling me Taylor is gonna go through smth much worse than what’s happening rn. Back to Taylor and Ben’s relationship tho. Ben always tries to give back to things that treat him well, idrk how to word it. In S1 Taylor is very considerate of the whole group, but there are a few instances where she focuses on him.

in S2, ben mirrors this act by physically protecting her and attempting to comfort her to the best of his abilities

taylor leans into this comfort and support, even if it’s only by a little. taylor needs people, and ben can easily become her person. they both value their family and friends a lot and are willing to put their lives on the line/distance themselves if it means protecting them. they both have lost someone who has guided them out of a dark time in their life to the phantom dimension. they both are kind hearted people who are gentle. they are both a pea to someone’s pod (Aiden and Ben, Taylor and Tyler). they understand each other better than anyone else.

Ben cares about Taylor a lot. we don’t get scenes of them like we do with aidlyn anymore, but we do get little snippets. he is willing to protect her , even if it puts himself at risk. HE COVERED HER COMPLETELY WITH HIMSELF!!! HE DIDNT EVEN COVER HIS HEAD OR ANYTHINGG IGHWHEHA!!??? He had been holding her in place ever since the phantom had started chasing them. HE CARES SM IT HURTS ME.

ben has been such a neglected character, but I don’t think this was for no reason. I believe Ben’s time will come. I was honestly expecting a reaction out of him when Aiden ‘died’ but we got aidlyn so idrc 😈🙏. anyways a lot of people want to see Ben tweak AND I DO TOO!!! but you also have to remember, him not getting mad and bearing with the situation shows how much he has grown from his past. Ben has intense anger issues that he’s HEAVILY ashamed of. keeping himself in check is already hard enough with day to day triggers, but add his new phantom situation onto that? mans is STRUGGLING, but since it’s in silence no one ever talks ab it 🙁 we’ve seen Tyler crack under this pressure, Logan getting madder, and taylor has gotten angrier too! ashlyn is more stressed and tired than angry, and Aiden is having fun most of the time. but Ben? he’s been trying his absolute hardest to not flip out.

so that combined with his affection for tay, if something bad really does happen to her, I do believe it will be his final straw. There’s only so much self control a 14 year old has (even though most adults would’ve went insane by now). Whether Taylor turns into a phantom or she gets injuries/dies, it will hit Ben HARD. Tyler will also be affected, but I really hope it doesn’t overshadow Ben. Losing Taylor would mean Ben wasn’t able to protect her like he wanted to and after Aiden also got hurt, I don’t think he would be able to take it. I think it’ll also extremely upset him when he finds out his family got caught in the crossfire of the kidnapping.

I was thinking about it, and we might actually see ben use his voice out of desperation. I really hope we don’t, bc I think ben not being verbal is nice representation, it’s so important to his character, and I love seeing how ben expresses himself without words. but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he used it to call out to someone. The way this scene (⬇️⬇️) is worded is like, “he CAN (might even) talk, he just doesn’t WANT (have a reason) too”. i really hope he doesn’t, but it’s definitely a possibility 😢 especially if we get a ben centered arc that’s caused by his anger and the loss he’s experienced.

All in all, I don’t think Ben be the next one to be injuried really, but I do think Taylor will. And Taylor getting hurt will finally open up a arc centered around/that includes ben 🙏

hope red gives us the craziest angst we've ever seen for them two and then kills Logan 😛

(sorry for rambling sm 😓 I tried to shorten it but now i feel like some parts don’t make sense. UGH WTV!!! I’m very passionate about Ben and the affects Taylor has had on him 😒)

[hismercytomyjustice]

HEAR ME OUT! IMHO (as someone who has it), Pacific Rim is a fantastic depiction of what it’s like living with OCD, specifically “Pure O” OCD.

It is exactly like “chasing the RABIT,” best depicted by the scene where Mako is trapped in her childhood memory.

SOME BACKGROUND ON OCD:

“Pure O” OCD is a term used to describe OCD where a person’s compulsions are mostly mental. Like getting stuck in thought loops as opposed to something like handwashing. You have a distressing/intrusive thought and your brain jumps through hoops to deal with the fear/anxiety/shame/etc that comes along with it.

From the ICBT (Inference-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) model:

“A doubt is about a possibility - a thought about what 'could be' or 'might be'. Your symptoms of OCD begin with doubt. Consequences, distress and compulsions logically follow from the doubt. Without the doubt, you would remain firmly grounded in reality without any symptoms of OCD.”

Most folks get an intrusive thought and, while they might find it upsetting or out of character for them, they’re able to accept it as involuntary and more of a random brain blip. With OCD (and some other disorders), a person gets that same intrusive thought and fixates on it. They struggle to let it go, become emotionally tied to it, and experience shame and fear around it.

For example, say you have an intrusive thought of “I might have left the stove on.” Say you aren’t at home to check it. Someone without OCD might understandably worry about it, but maybe they can call a friend/family member to check or maybe they resolve to run by the house when they have a chance to make sure they turned it off.

Someone with OCD however, might spiral. They might go from “I might have left the stove on” to “What if there’s a towel on the stove?” to “the towel could catch on fire,” to “my kitchen could catch on fire,” to “my house could burn down,” to “I could lose everything in the fire,” to “and it would all be my fault.”

And with each mental leap, their anxiety/fear grows. They may not have even left the stove on, but they become convinced they did and now they’re panicking about the possible consequences of their theoretical actions. Their mind/body reacts like their house did burn down and it was all their fault.

Because this triggered such a strong emotional state, maybe next time they cook something they check the stove is off. But what if the knob wasn’t all the way in the off position? What if the burner was still hot and a towel was close by? What if they looked at the wrong knob and the one for the burner they used was actually on? So they check again. And again. And again. Because maybe if they check this time, they’ll finally have run through all the terrifying possibilities and their brain will accept that the stove is off and there’s no risk of a fire.

Meanwhile, by checking over and over again, they’re feeding into their fear and anxiety. It might make them feel better in the moment “oh good, the stove is off” but then they step away from the stove and the fear/doubt returns.

And then the cycle starts all over again the next time they use the stove.

HOW THIS PERTAINS TO PACIFIC RIM:

In Pacific Rim, Mako relives the worst moment of her entire life. She’s a child again and the kaiju is there, her parents are gone, and she’s terrified and running through the streets to try to save herself.

Raleigh realizes what’s happening. He’s a veteran jaeger pilot. He knows all about the RABIT (Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers). He knows what Mako is experiencing isn’t actually happening right now. He tries to pull her out of the spiral, but as she gets deeper into the memory, her emotions grow stronger. She KNOWS she’s not a child anymore. She KNOWS she’s in a jaeger. She KNOWS the kaiju of her past is dead and can’t hurt her anymore.

But none of that matters. She’s stuck in the spiral anyway.

In this case, the deeper she’s pulled down, the more evident her terror becomes because now her emotions are pouring into the jaeger. She doesn’t mean to, but she readies one of its weapons in her desperation to protect herself.

Pandemonium erupts. Everyone’s ordered to evacuate to minimize the inevitable damage the weapon will cause. No one can reach Mako. She’s too deep in the memory.

Even as others flee, Pentecost, Herc, Tendo, and Chuck struggle to manually shutdown power to the jaeger. They only manage it by the skin of their teeth because of how strong Mako’s connection to her memory is.

The memory is like an intrusive thought Mako can’t let go of, the anxiety and fear generated by it fueling her deeper descent into the memory. Everyone else knows it’s not real. Deep down, Mako knows it’s not real. But the emotions tied to the memory in that moment convince her otherwise. While Raleigh doesn’t get sucked into the memory too, we still see him reacting to it because it feels so real.

They finally manage to power down the jaeger and Mako escapes from the memory. In the aftermath she’s ashamed and embarrassed. Pentecost told her something like this might happen and it did.

Even worse, Mako’s always wanted the opportunity to avenge her family and put a stop to the destruction the kaiju have wrought on so many lives. She knew this could happen going in, but it happened anyway!

She relived the worst moment of her life, spectacularly failed in front of people she respects and cares about, nearly killed those same people, and she disappointed herself and Pentecost. She’s spent years trying to convince him to let her become a pilot and fuck, it turns out he was right all along, despite her training, her dedication, and her superior skills.

Now Raleigh is going to need a new partner. They don’t have time for this! The kaiju are coming! They’re humanity’s last hope! How can she face any of these people after almost accidentally killing them? Why couldn’t she stop chasing the RABIT? She knew it was just a memory! What is wrong with her that she couldn’t do this one thing she’s dreamed about and vied for her whole life? How can people like Chuck or Raleigh do this but she can’t?

Just because she’s no longer trapped in the memory, doesn’t mean it and the distress she experienced because of it haven’t had a ripple effect. Yeah, the ripples are less powerful now that she’s not in the epicenter of it all, but they’re still there.

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER:

The memory in Mako’s case is the trigger/intrusive thought. She has a visceral reaction to it in the moment, but even after she escapes from it she’s not automatically fine.

That’s what is so fucking frustrating about OCD. You can sit there all day and think “the stove isn’t on, this is just my OCD” but it doesn’t magically make your OCD go away. Learning to live with OCD is learning to identify these thoughts spirals and preventing lapses from becoming relapses.

A lapse could be “I might have left the stove on” and worrying briefly bit about it before realizing it’s an OCD thought and defusing it, but a relapse is the full blown anxiety trip detailed above that ends in “my house is going to burn down.”

Lapses are scary. It’s so easy to have one and immediately think “oh fuck, oh no, the OCD is back,” but it’s not necessarily true. You can get OCD into a state of remission, even if you can’t get rid of it completely. It’s also incredibly easy to beat yourself up over a lapse or a trigger. Yeah, in the moment you feel like you’re being chased by a kaiju, but then you snap out of the memory and you’re embarrassed and frustrated and scared.

“Why doesn’t anyone else struggle with this,” “what’s wrong with me,” “I didn’t even fucking leave the stove on,” “if anyone knew how upset I was about this, they’d think I was pathetic/stupid/overreacting/being ridiculous,” and so on.

OCD thrives on fear and doubt and shame. Avoiding intrusive thoughts makes it worse by increasing fear/anxiety around them and ruminating on intrusive thoughts makes it worse by further feeding into the obsession.

But the good news is your life doesn’t have to revolve around your OCD! There’s a lot out there that can help like support groups, therapy (specifically Exposure Therapy and Inference-Based CBT), and medications (like antidepressants).

Something that really stood out to me from the OCD Conference I attended this weekend was this quote from the Strategies for Sustained Recovery From OCD panel.

“OCD should not just be about symptom reduction, but about reclaiming your life and finding genuine joy and fulfillment. The primary reason to persevere through the hard work of treatment is to make your life more fun, meaningful, and worth living. Identify activities, hobbies, and relationships that you find deeply rewarding and that bring a sense of purpose beyond just managing your OCD.”

So, yeah, I just wanted to share what it’s like living with OCD and also wanted to give a little hope to others who might have it or have friends/loved ones who do. It fucking sucks, but if you equip yourself with the right tools it can make it a lot easier to live with. It can take most folks over a decade to get diagnosed with OCD and get proper treatment. There’s a lot of factors at play in that regard like recognizing OCD in the first place, access to care, costs for care, shame and embarrassment, etc.

Hell, it took me ~34 years to realize I had it and I was lucky enough to have three therapists tell me they saw the signs! I’m only just now starting to really learn about it, how it impacts my life, and how to live with it.

Just know you’re not alone and that it can get better! I’m definitely not in remission, but I’m working toward it! And I hope if you’ve read this far and resonate with all this, that you’re on your way to remission too!

[dross-the-fish]

First of all I just really want to say I absolutely LOVE your art and specially the way you draw Erik, Leroux-Erik my beloved 😭💕

Ok ANYWAY. I saw your posts discussing about Erik and how the Phandom portray him and Raou, and I really want to point out some of my views (in the healthiest and most polite way possible!!!)

I'm not trying to deny Erik's flaws nor that I have an obvious bias since he's my favorite character ever AAAND Raoul is a character I dislike a LOT for multiple reasons lol but, I want to adress that: Erik is a person that endured multiple ways of abuse and humiliation in his life, since he was a child. He has multiple scenes of trauma response and, as you pointed out your post, acts impulsively many times and also shows clear remorse for his actions. What I think separates him from Raoul is (aside from the obvious class diference and the fact that Erik has a whole history of trauma and evidences of mental illness) the fact that Erik learns something from his selfish, self-destructive behaviour. He *had* a chance to end up with Christine if he didn't so shitty with her, and this is very impactful in the end specially because Leroux didn't treat him as a villain who deserved punishment, but as a traumatized AND completely abandoned person who fucked up pretty bad

Obviously, despite my personal beef with Raoul, I don't think he's some sort of abusive devil or any shit like that. I just think Christine would be better at her own. Forgetting Erik's flaws for a minute — Raoul *is* very manipulative, childish and uncaring towards Christine. He, unlike Erik, doesn't learn from his mistakes and presents the same behavior until the end of the story. Idk my girl Christine could be better at her own, single, following her career. The fact that Raoul was born in a rich family in the 19th century and didn't face any of the poberty or struggles that lower-classed people like Daroga, Erik and Christine had also make his character waaaay more difficult to like in my point of view. I'm NOT SAYING THAT "being rich makes you evil" (duh) nor that Erik's actions are ok, just to be clear! It just bothers me how so many people treat Raoul like a saint little puppy and Erik as a monster, like COME ON

Now, back to Erik: I'm not saying you intended to mean that, but I have a huge problem with how part of the Phandom thinks Erik had malicious intentions when approaching Christine, or that his feelings for her are fake. The "Erik knew precisely what he was doing since the start" really makes sense considering how his redemption arc went in the novel. Obviously this changes a lot in many adaptations (for example he's clearly much more self-aware and manipulative in the musical). But Leroux-Erik *genuinely* believed he was doing the right thing. Maybe he had an idea of "uuuugh maybe this is pretty bad maybe i should stop" but the self-destructive-fear-of-abandoment-everything-is-fine voice spoke louder. Let's not forget that what turned Erik into having such a violent mental breakdown was not "Christine doesn't love me and I must punish her" bullshit, it was when he heard her speaking not so many cool things about him and his appearance at his back (NOT BLAMING OR HATING HER, I love Christine, I'm talking about Erik's pov). If Erik didn't love Christine, or if he was a monster, he wouldn't feel any guilty for his actions. The most impactful thing in the ending of POTO is that Erik realized he had treated the woman he loved like trash and even still she showed him the compassion he needed

Ok ending this long ass text, I just wanted to state that I agree with a lot of your points specially how the Phandom tends to summarize everything to black and white even though most of the characters are all morally grey. I wanted people to stop dehumanizing a mentally ill abuse survivor like Erik while also stop hating on a poor woman who never asked to be put into Raoul's or Erik's bullshit lol thanks for having the patience to read, I'm really curious to know what your thoughts about this are 💕💕💕

I appreciate your courtesy, I understand where you are coming from but there are a few points i'm not sure I fully agree with. While it is fair to depict Erik as traumatized or mentally ill, I feel these are ultimately reasons for his behavior, not justifications. I agree that he is a sympathetic character and his story is a tragic one, I also agree that Erik had a great capacity for good under better circumstances. Leroux says "he had a heart that could hold empires but had to content himself with a cellar," or something to that effect and I believe that's true. But some of Erik's behavior cannot be written off as impulse or trauma response. He was still an assassin who built torture chambers and even when no longer in Persia he still had a torture chamber in his home that he made use of. He has enough agency that he can still be held responsible for all of the death and destruction he caused even as we acknowledge that he doesn't enjoy killing and feels remorse. How he deals with his remorse in particular is a bit of a sticking point for me. Erik's consistent ability to willfully "forget" what he does or completely deny the severity of his crimes is very likely a product of guilt but the presence of guilt is not a sign of virtue and after awhile it starts to feel like he is first and foremost dodging accountability. He never feels guilty enough to stop and prefers instead to alleviate his internal discomfort by emotionally distance himself from his actions. I also think it's important to acknowledge that Erik is a villainous character and he is violent with Christine. He does try terrorize her and coerce her into marrying him by threatening to kill her and everyone else. To be honest that's why I like his redemption, because he actually NEEDS to be redeemed. You can't redeem a character that never fell from grace. If we can't hold him accountable for his choices and acknowledge the full harm he did then his redemption is hollow. On the subject of Raoul, Leroux tends to write him as being kind of young and stupid and most of his boorish behavior the product of youthful impulse and the older I get the more I'm inclined to agree. This doesn't make Raoul right or even necessarily likeable but if we're giving Erik grace based on the author's sentiments towards the character we should probably give some to Raoul as well. Ultimately I feel Raoul redeems himself by proving he's willing to die for Christine. He throws himself into mortal peril to save her because he does love her. Yes, he has a lot of privilege compared to other characters and it certainly contributes to him coming off spoiled and bratty at times but at the end of the day he and Christine do love each other and he is who she chose. I'll admit I sometimes feel compelled to defend Raoul even if he's not remotely close to my favorite character just because the fandom tends to over inflate his flaws and hold him to the worst faith interpretation while making every excuse under the sun for Erik. The phandom will go to great lengths to see nuance and humanity in Erik's behavior but not in Raoul's and, while I have my own character preferences and Erik is certainly my favorite by a long shot, I try to be fair and empathetic to ALL the characters in the story, whether I actually like them or not.

[silverskye13]

("Order of Balanced Scales" anon again) It actually fascinates me that the universe-as-meta-character aspect was uninentional, I think I must've read too much into some earlier posts (the proposed tagline for the fic being "The universe doesn't care, so he must", and that post about the alternate End poem for helsmets from a very hateful universe) :'] Or perhaps I was conflating those aspects with another AU I saw, where the universe was even more directly active in the story

I think it's less that you read too far into it, and more that it's an idea that's ballooned over time. It started out as a simple fact of the world so the story makes sense.

"Why do the helsmets fear death more than the hermits? Because sometimes it's permanent."

"Why is it sometimes permanent? Because the universe likes players, not the things made from them."

Eventually it kind of just gained traction in the story. When the helsmets talk about the universe, it makes sense for them to view it as cruel, or at least thoughtless. So the reader views it that way. When we see hels!Zedaph's struggles to be remembered, someone pointed out [in asks or comments I can't remember] that in theory, hermit!Zedaph went through his own little fic with character growth that ended with his life getting objectively better -- at the expense of his hels, who was robbed of that chance, seemingly arbitrarily. Because the universe said so. Any benefit from that happening is beyond the scope of the story, so all we see is the harm, and that's impactful.

We take that harm and we recontextualize it based on the main characters. Their fears make even more sense now. And not only do they make sense, the existential horror of it sinks in as well: they live in a world where the universe has decided their only point of existence is as a plot point in someone else's story. No merit of their own will ever be worth more than that, according to the weave of the world. If the universe is something living and sentient, that is favoritism and cruelty. If it isn't, it's a very sad act of god, like being struck by lightning -- unforeseeable, unpreventable, unfortunate. A family curse with no origin.

It's very.... Existential. Almost Eldritch. Something too big and unknowable to really comprehend in the context of the story is making decisions about someone's happiness, either by impulse or instinct, and there's nothing we can do about it but think about how much it sucks, objectively. It's easy to sink your teeth into that concept and walk around it in circles, ultimately getting nowhere but still taking many steps.

I dunno. It's the serendipity of writing sometimes that stuff like that just Happens and it makes the world richer, without you ever realizing you put it in.

Anyway! Thank you for giving me excuse to walk in more circles anon ⚖️

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 13 Part 1

Welcome back! Things are about to reach a breaking point! You know things are crazy when all six chapters of the volume have the same name.

Volume 13's cover is literally just the gang running away from a spoiler, so please accept these cute pictures of baby Marcille from the daydream hours.

A precious image.

Wishes, man. There's always a catch. Whether that be an evil genie, or a perfect unconscious wish, it never goes how you want. This one doesn't even let you say no thanks.

This is such a good fake-out. Now someone grab some zip-ties.

So, is Marcille going to struggle with impulse control for the rest of her life, or did it just eat her desire not to lead an army to the surface?

Sure you will buddy. *proceeds to, in fact, not be careful*

Oh god, if he defeats the demon, we'll be out of a job.

This is cool and all, but what happens to this avatar after the gang goes inside? Does it turn back into monsters? Does it simply vanish? It's totally gone next time we see outside.

There was probably a more literal translation for that onomatopoeia, but damn if that isn't perfect. I also like the detail that Mithrun lost his fake eye.

Happy 8/8 everyone.

Going a little out of order here, since Chapter 87 and Misc tales 13 go together. So, everything seems to indicate that the Demon and magic itself are one and the same. But where do spirits fit into all of this? Are spirits, like, sub-sentient demon bits? Are they micro-organisms that can use magic? Everything in this page sure sounds like gnomish magic to me.

Genuinely curious how the anime will handle these panels.

How? No, seriously, how did the ancients trap the demon? The demon is an entity of unlimited power. Why is it contrained to rules? We know it likes fulfilling desires, but what's stopping it from acting on its own? Why did it need to swap with Laios just to use its power for itself? It's never really explained how the demon came to be constrained. I understand the demon's current rules, but I don't know how we reached this point.

So much world-building in one panel. I don't really get how the demon managed such massive, world sweeping changes though.

The demon is exceptionally awful. It is manipulative, selfish, cruel, and it ultimately takes everything that matters away. But it didn't become that way because of its intrinsic nature. It learned to be evil by watching us.

Seriously, the exit is right there. What is keeping the demon bound to these dungeons?

Yeah, maybe should have figured that out before going right into the lion's den. (haha)

No, see, that's the beauty of Laios' plan. By focusing so hard on plan A, the lion will be completely blindsided by plan B.

I'm sure Falin would think it's cute.

She does her best not to show it... but this is a big moment for Izutsumi. No one has ever trusted her. No one has ever implicitly trusted her with something important like this. And the craziest part? She's actually going to do it. Laios is right to trust her.

One interesting takeaway from this story is the lesson that people are, by their very nature, selfish beings. Yet, we push through, and do the right thing anyway. I'm sure someone smarter than me could articulate it better. Something something, Laios' curse.

I have some thoughts on this panel. Check out my post where I go into it in detail!

I know this is a serious moment, but Laios just looks like a creepy chicken.

Laios failed the vibe check. He looked WAY too cool and professional as he chopped off the lion's head.

Laios doesn't have an evil bone in his body, yet we're getting a Laios villain arc anyway!

Oh no! What are our heroes going to do! Find out next post!

[mordcore]

for those of you like me, who are poor and can't afford to buy things just because they are pretty, and who struggle with spending or impulse control, some advice on how i learnt to stop buying the pretty things anyway:

notice which websites and stores make you buy things and spend too much money. and stop going there. don't open that online store. just do not. block it from your browser if necessary, there's probably plugins for that.

don't go into the irl store, or limit visits to a few times a year, and make a budget. eg. "i can spend €50 in darkstore today" because i actually have the €50, and if i don't, i better don't go at all. yes your friends who want to go with you might be annoyed or disappointed, but if they really are your friends, they'll understand that poverty is no joke and neither is impulsive spending. you can hang out in the park or at your home instead it's gonna be okay.

notice things that make you want to seek out those stores. for me it was the rush of buying new things to cope with feelings of loss of control over my life ("retail therapy"). find better coping methods. i find that badly playing a song i like on the guitar and singing along, or making a drawing or collage about my feelings or about something else is a great way to cope with difficult emotions, and there are other good skills as well like talking to a friend, taking a walk, cutting or dying my own hair, exercise such as hitting a punching bag, doing as many pushups as you can, running as fast as you can; watching a comfort show or playing a comfort game, taking personality tests online, and there are many other options because not everything works for everyone nor for every situation: dbt skills pdf

identify your needs and find activities that help you with them. 👍 this goes for any kind of emotional struggle and maladaptive coping btw it's just that impulse buying lead me to so much more stress down the road but i got a lot better at it and thought i'd share some of what helped me

[wordbunch]

Their love song (Taylor Swift edition) > The Rings of Power characters

a/n: welcome to my little self-indulgent celebration of 700 followers! 🥳 EVEN IF you're not a fan/don't know the songs, I hope you can still like and support this fic - a lot of time and love went into it! and by all means come talk to me about it or suggest your own songs! love you all so much and thank you for reading my stories and being a wonderful community 💕

HALBRAND ♡ cruel summer

Please look at these lyrics and tell me it isn't just perfect for him!! You never really planned on falling for him, ever, but alas, something captivated you - his eyes looking down on you from a height difference, the way he seemed to understand you more than anyone else in certain moments, and how he was adamant to be around you. He was very cocky and confident when you admitted it at last.

ARONDIR ♡ peace

Maybe you come from different backgrounds, but there is nothing that you wouldn't do for each other. He is very protective of you, but he is also cautious because he never wants you to be in danger because of him. Although your relationship can be judged negatively, the only important thing is what the two of you feel for one another - true love.

ELENDIL ♡ labyrinth

Things haven't exactly been easy after his wife suddenly died, and he had mixed feelings about moving on; somehow, with you it was kind of effortless and unexpectedly natural. He struggled with it within himself for some time, but you were understanding and supportive the whole time, and he began feeling much better when he accepted his developing feelings for you.

CELEBRIMBOR ♡ lover

Honestly, he kind of is a magnetic force, and he would also be a total romantic to his partner and spoil them in so many ways. Admittedly, he's lived through a lot of things and challenges, but ending up with you seemed like a reward at the end of everything, and he never wants to let you go.

GALADRIEL ♡ daylight

She certainly has her struggles and her mind can be a very occupied place, so she really didn't expect to find captivating romantic love among all the mess. You bring brightness and warmth to her life like nobody else, and she lights up when she is around you, especially when the two of you are alone.

ISILDUR ♡ blank space

He is still quite young and impulsive, and everything else that comes with it, and also naturally curious and a bit of a troublemaker - never a dull moment. When you two first met, you didn't think it would go anywhere, but quickly you fell for his reckless charm, and decided to give it a go anyways. It's a passionate and unpredictable relationship which can end at any time, but he is so wrapped around your finger that you highly doubt it.

VALANDIL ♡ sparks fly

He is also crazy, young and exciting, but something won't let you let him go. He is aware of his strengths and he knows how to play them exactly right to keep you on your toes and crazy about him. Maybe it isn't the most stable of relationships, but hey, as long as you're having a good time!

GIL-GALAD ♡ gorgeous

He is so royal and classy and naturally, captivated your attention within mere seconds in his presence. At first you might have been a little intimidated (who wouldn't be?) and you had mixed feelings within yourself - he surely already had someone, so you decided it would be best to wait for him to approach you. Years and years later, you both like to jokingly reminisce on those moments.

BRONWYN ♡ new year's day

Life can be tough, and people can be difficult to deal with, but the two of you have each other's back through it all. While you have your arguments and disagreements occasionally, and maybe someone judges your relationship, at the end of the day there is nobody else that the two of you would rather share your troubles with.

ELROND ♡ you are in love

This sweet soul had to get this song assigned to him! Your love bloomed steadily over centuries of close friendship and understanding, you shared a quiet, unspoken bond, and it was just the most natural thing ever. It eventually became difficult to pinpoint when exactly it turned into something more than platonic, because for so long it had been the two of you together, side by side.

✨ taglist my beloved ✨ @lotrnonsense​​​​​​ @starlady66​​​​​​ @queenmeriadoc​​ @entishramblings @thesolarangel @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-place @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorinpainter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency    @starryeyedrogue​​ @dinofromspac3 ​​  @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @sweetpea-thoughts

I TAGGED EVERYONE CAUSE IT'S A FOLLOWER SPECIAL OK <3