#anyway. i dont have covid and i dont have the flu and i should be happy about that

[your-fave-is-bi]

good news: dont have covid or the flu

bad news: this means my mystery throat hurting and muscles aching is so far indeed still a mystery

also bad news: dont get to stay home from work

[iwontstopme]

i am 👏 👏 👏 sick

[july-19th-club]

one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern

[franciskirkland]

Hypermobile François anon here once again!

Don't apologize for the lack of writing; I hope you feel better soon! I, myself, am considering getting snake bites. I love them so much.

Also, what is François' music taste like? I know she likes Lana Del Rey, but are there any other musicians she would like?

thank u!! yeah this sucks dude my head is killing me and i have laryngitis, congested, muscle aches etc. it feels like covid or maybe the flu. need to take a test to know for sure. my mil is a nurse so she'll come through with some RATs

you should absolutely get whatever piercings you want, its your body, dont let anyone tell u differently. i miss my piercings, my husband doesn't like that kind of look so these days i just wear a nose hoop and occasionally a septum ring. RIP to my freedom i guess

also fun fact i swallowed my entire tongue piercing like 2 years ago lol

anyway, i think i answered this for you a few days ago but its ok!! in general i feel his/her taste would be extremely varied and eclectic.

[indigo474]

81223

I had a fun time with Marci. We did not make it to the club- we went for a walk and our night of dancing did not happen and i am OK with that. I like Marci and feel safe around her- which is weird because we are so very different. She's lived so much more life than me and its nice to have someone who gives good advice and support.. she has her opinions- strong ones. I think she feels safe with me too.. its a nice friendship and i get Mom vibes from her- today at breakfast we started talking about covid.. I know her political stance- she has never once asked mine and for that i am glad. she has a jacked up shoulder and i suggested it was from the covid shot- she insists its from actual covid. i dont see how. it would make more sense to believe her shoulder problem was from having an experimental liquid injected into her arm than from her having a virus but what do i know? so she keeps saying how many shots did we get.. WE- her and I- how many shots did WE get. I havent had any- and i could have said so, but people get weird and i really feel the only reason i didnt get any shots was because i dont watch tv and i had no fucking idea what was going on in the world during covid- i honestly think had Mads and i been watching tv we would have gotten the shots.. i didnt want to defend my ignorance- of course now, im glad to not have gotten the shot and im glad Mads didnt get the shot.. anyway i took a guess and said 4 shots- i was correct. she says when i turn 50 i have to get a bunch of shots.. i will get a flu shot before i turn 60. maybe at 60 i'll start getting shots. we had a nice time- sitting by the pool and going out to eat and the spa-- the spa was wonderful and i really should start get massages. so wonderful. i liked the facial but did not think it was worth $200. i got the magic milk facial.

i'm going to give up drinking alcohol. i think i should. i really do not like the way it makes me feel- i dont "really" drink- but i do and i think its time to say good bye to it.. and i feel a certain way about this. i'm not sure why. Maybe because it's a social thing- not hat i am social.. but on the few times i am invited out it is usually for a drink. people get weird when they hear someone doesnt drink- i dont even know why i feel like i need to not drink. something is telling me to give it up for good. it's weird and yeah.. i guess i don't drink.

I saw James this week. my back was bothering me again on wednesday when i saw him.. i got my period on thursday.. by friday morning i was having a full blown period. to the point i had to buy tampons. so maybe that was the cause of my back issues. he worked me real hard on upper body on tuesday but went easy wed for lower body.. he changed everything up. totally different routine.. i have no idea what he has me doing. front loaded squats.. i have no idea what anything else is called.. hopefully i'll get to do a full lower body routine this week.. dead lifts.. i think that is what i had to skip because of my back. he says i'll get use to it. i was telling him how i want to start hitting the gym in the morning before work but i am unable to get myself out of bed. i'm up.. i just cant get out of bed. he suggested i maybe start by maybe going for a walk.he asked me if i liked donuts.. i love donuts.. he told me to treat myself to a donut IF i go for a walk in the morning. i told him i could actually walk to dunking donuts.. i'm going to try.. although i'm not sure how starting my day with a donut is going to make me feel. a donut just might be what i need to get me out of bed in the am.

[zombiesama]

[hindunrisni]

I might be a covidiot because im always in doubt.

I need to write before my brain collapsed to this unstructurized overthinking.

Ragu buat nulis ini tp tulisan aku ga mungkin viral juga so i'll write what inside this brain anyway.

Covid sudah hampir 2 tahun.

Generally di awal, terbagi dua kubu. Percaya covid dan tidak percaya covid. Yang tidak percaya covid dianggap mabuk konspirasi. Then it developed, i guess? Tidak percaya covid mungkin terlalu ekstrem sehingga berubah menjadi kelompok orang2 yang percaya covid memang ada, tapi tidak semenyeramkan itu, tidak seberbahaya itu, just a usual flu, so menurut mereka: "santuy ajaa"

Which one is me?

I'm not gonna tell. But my brain is getting overwhelmed recently. I do believe in science. Aku lulusan farmasi, mantan apoteker klinis di RS, dan sekarang magister candidate farmasi klinis di salah satu univ di indonesia. I am doing research. I am fully aware that we need and will always need science. Kalau di kurva Dunning Krugger, I either still stupid and not confidence or a bit smart but not confidence. Either way i am not smart and confidence enough to tell things to people. Just to give disclaimer that i am just nobody.

Buat aku, dunia saat ini seperti sedang menjalani clinical trials. Di awal pandemi, seorang profesor di RS terkenal bilang "covid ini masih banyak yang harus diteliti, masih ongoing, jd kita kasi apa aja obat yang ada". Oh yes of course, itu pasti suatu keniscayaan ketika penyakit-baru muncul. Bukti2 ilmiah masih terbatas so trial and errors will be one way. Bless the patients. Now its been almost 2 years. Riset tentang covid luar biasa banyaaaakk sekali. Yah siapa yang tidak tertarik dengan pandemi? Akan ada banyak orang2 yang berbaik hati mencari solusi keluar dr pandemi dan akan ada oknum yang memanfaatkan momen untuk hal-hal tertentu tanpa berniat menyelesaikan pandemi.

Aku bukan penggila konspirasi. Tapi aku selalu terbuka dengan berbagai kemungkinan. Kadang kita gabisa netral dan cukup strategis dalam menghadapi pandemi ini karena alur informasi yang begitu cepat, polarisasi pendapat, opini2 yang berseliweran dan dengan mudahnya mengarahkan kita pada satu keyakinan. What expose us more, build us more. Pendapat2 dengan bias pengalaman pribadi, sahabat baik nakes, sahabat baik intel, dan semuanya. Kadang buat kita tidak bisa membaca situasi dengan objektif.

Scepticism is sometimes needed, no? Or maybe i got some trust issues. Aku masih anak bawang dalam riset tapi aku tau beberapa bias yang terjadi dalam riset klinis, beberapa hal yang dapat memengaruhi hasil riset. So, when a statement about covid comes out, aku sering berusaha untuk baca risetnya sendiri, melakuan appraisal dari mulai kualitas jurnalnya, desain dan metode, penarikan kesimpulan, conflict of interest (walau kadang ga ditulis padahal ada), sampai funding. We can not only read abstract since it doesnt give us that much. Sometimes author just put what interesting or what they want the result to be to make the abstract attractive, no?

But i dont always do that. Often, i simply too lazy. This is what we call as a lazy perfectionist, its suffering. You keep thinking about that but you do nothing. That sucks.

Anyhow.

There are some concerns and/or questions pop up in my head that ive been trying to answer despite my laziness.

How dangerous covid is? The prevalence is high, yes. The transmission is high, mainly the delta varian. Yet the severity are classified. Otg, ringan, sedang, berat. Seberapa infeksius masing2 derajat? Theres one research say asymptomatic patients gives 1/5 transmission, which makes sense. Otg tidak bersin dan batuk2, kemungkinan virus keluar dari tubuh sedikit. Viral load pada otg mungkin jg sedikit. Tapi apakah ketika menularkan, org yang ditularkan kemudian sakit parah atau otg juga? Kemungkinan tergantung kondisi orang tersebut, banyak faktor dari mulai usia, komorbid, dan gaya hidup. Walau kemungkinan penularan otg cuma 1/5, mau main2 dengan kemungkinan? I cannot say things like that without evidence i know but some of these are just logic.

But how if we compare it to other infections just like 'conspiracies people' ask. So far, orang2 yang menjawab pertanyaan itu berkata "buat kamu statistik itu angka, tp buat keluarga korban, itu nyawa". To me, orang2 yang bertanya demikian bukan berarti tidak berempati dengan korban. Beberapa dr mereka juga ingin keluar dari pandemi dan mungkin, mungkin, mungkin, mencoba mencari solusi 'lain'. Bagaimana kalau ternyata orang2 otg dalam jumlah besar ini magnitude dan efek penularannya sama seperti infeksi lain yang tidak fatal, mungkin pendekatan solusinya akan berbeda. "Tapi covid ini obatnya belum ada, infeksi lain sudah ada". Now my questions shift. How covid affect a person with pure covid and a person with comorbids (say with hypertention diabetes, asmatic, and all)? Does the infection worsen the conditions that much? How risk benefit analysis is done toward these comorbids and polypharmacy patients since drugs themselves also not fully safe? As a clinical pharmacist, i learn adverse drug reactions and drug interaction theoritically. Am i scared to drug? Often, yes. Because drug interations are hard to analyze in clinical settings. I believe doctors will use their expertise experience rather than theory. So yes i am scared because nothing is absolute. The reason I still keep my prokes and dont want to get infected is because i dont want to consume the drugs. In these ongoing drug trials everywhere, nothing I can trust 100% haha. And yes, aku panik sama orang tua yang sering keluyuran. Mereka komorbid. Kalau infected, sudah pasti aku akan pusing mengambil keputusan.

Pikiran2 ini mungkin muncul karena aku gerah dengan keadaan. Mungkin jg krn orang2 sekitar aku rata2 otg dan gejala ringan, so yes tulisan ini jg bias. But please never pray for me to have a relative that got severe sick due to covid just to make me believe 100%. Please no. Aku percaya covid and i dont wanna get infected.

Well anyway, aku gerah dengan keadaan. Indonesia ga seperti Singapura atau New Zealand yang, mau covid itu bahaya atau ngga, fasilitas dan sdm mereka mumpuni, penduduk mereka sedikit, it will more controllable. Sedangkan Indonesia, aku lelah baca berita yang bilang IGD dimana2 penuh. BOR 90% terisi. Nakes, otg atau bukan, ya harus isolasi. Bagaimana kalau ternyata otg dan derajat ringan tidak seberbahaya itu? Otg msh bisa kerja dan sedikit memulihkan kekacauan di rumah sakit. Nakes2 jadi ga burnout.

Penundaan operasi karena covid. Bagaimana kalau ternyata efek covid ke penyakit lebih kecil daripada penundaan operasi? Efek penularan covid ke nakes lebih kecil daripada risiko meninggalnya pasien jika tidak operasi? Akhirnya pasien meninggal bukan karena covidnya, tp karena penundaan operasi untuk penyakit lain yg dia punya.

Bagaimana dg org2 yg ekonomi lemah? Risiko covid dan risiko mereka kelaparan karena lockdown lebih besar mana?

Di awal pandemi, org2 yg ga boleh keluar adalah org2 dengan komorbid. Tetapi kemudian berkembang menjadi semua orang. Setauku, sesuatu dikatakan pandemi ketika transmisinya besar, tidak terlalu dilihat dari magnitude dan dampak gejala/penyakitnya. I mean, can we be more detail toward degree of severity and its effect? Memang sudah diberlakukan di beberapa hal, seperti yg sakit sedang-berat ke RS, yg otg ringan isoman di rumah. But, can we be even more detail and deepeer about this? Riset2 yg ada juga byk yg mendata overall inhospital mortality, artinya data kematian tidak dipisahkan antara penyebab primer dan sekunder. And again, how risk benefit analysis is done toward comorbid and polypharmacy patients? Safety obat kadang dianaktirikan. Overtreatment sometimes chosen to avoid covid kill the patients. Well, drugs can kill patients too. This is why dokter/nakes smart memang dibutuhkan. Dengan segala ongoing research selama pandemi, apalagi muncul mutasi begini, jangan sampai keputusan2 yang ada tidak berdasar analisis risiko-manfaat yang tepat.

So, i need to know more about poor outcome in symptomatic and asymptomatic covid adjusted to every concurrent drugs and medical conditions and adjusted to availibility of isolation room and resources and adjusted to everything lol. How infectious asymptomatic covid is and should we worry about it compare to any other disease. QoL symptomatic covid 19 patients compare to other infectious disease. how is association between happy hypoxia and covid, severity, outcomes, should we worry. What are the updates treatment now and why and how and are they safe and effective? How urgent vaccines are (in deeper analysis) - i already got my vaccination schedule, dont worry. And the biggest questions since mutations are the devil now, every W-H questions about mutations are stuck in my brain now. This is only clinical questions, there are way more abundant.

Kalo aku di singapura mungkin aku ga perlu mikir beginian. Dengan kemewahan2 yang mereka punya, indeks korupsi yang kecil, SDM yang mumpuni, penduduk yang sedikit, bahaya atau tidaknya covid mungkin ga pernah akan aku pikirkan regardless my scepticism toward research. Dampak sosial dari pandemi ini bukan main, kan.

So well, sebetulnya masih banyak di kepala, dan susah banget rasanya membuat semua ini terstruktur dan tersambung-sambung dengan baik. Pada akhirnya, dengan segala skeptisisme dan keterbatasan riset, aku memilih untuk mengikuti instruksi otoritas dan ahli. Kenapa? Because i know i am not smart, masih anak bawang yang banyak gataunya. Masih males baca riset. Dan gampang overwhelmed sm tsunami informasi. Dan mutasi. Ergh. Berasa harus baca riset2 covid dari awal. There are a lot of things i need to learn. Semoga Allah selalu memberi petunjuk dalam setiap pengambilan keputusan. Aamiin

[modern-oedipus]

Covid Vent

No one: Nila, who goes out maybe once in a month due to covid: *listens to coffee shop sounds in youtube to get in mood*  It’s really hard to maintain social isolation now that it has been 5 months. But the cases are going up and up and up, hitting my friends and their families. I myself had to split houses with my mother because she had covid cases in her work place. I don’t think I’d isolate myself this much if I wasn’t in the risk group, but I am. Knowing that I am most likely to go to intensive care and experience the trouble breathing again like I did during the asthma treatment is not good. The potential permanent damage on lungs, for someone like me whose lungs are already more prone to sickness compared to healthy people, is also a big no, considering that I’m only in my early twenties and if everything goes well and I live a normal life I’d live around 50 more years.  50 more years with a disability or isolating myself at home? Isolation, obviously. But this pandemic doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I am only indoors because both my internships are online & college hasn’t started yet. I know that I’ll eventually have to go out if my college doesn’t switch to online education. It doesn’t scare me at all, though, I am not like, “anxious”. I’m concerned, disturbed, alert, but not in a paranoid anxiety. If I end up catching covid, I’m at least mentally prepared to deal with it. I’m also eating healthy and exercising and don’t really have health problems except for that past-lung-treatments that more or less put me to a risk group (risky enough to concern me, even though I don’t have a chronic illness), so who knows, I might just pass it like a flu as well. No one knows. It’s not good overthinking covid, all I can do is to keep social distancing & mask & hygiene, as always. I’m just so suffocated. I’m more prone to be an extrovert. Before pandemic, I’d only use my house to sleep I’d keep being out in public, attending events, ORGANIZING events, going to coffee shops, club meetings, lots and lots of stage plays, tours, everything. I’d sneak into my friends’ dorms and change cities and just so many more “normal” fun things. I was barely starting to enjoy my life again after the depression healed. Now, I’m mentally ok, but physically trapped. The “watch netflix, read books, stay home” thing is kind of overdosing me right now. I like this shit for a week maybe, not for 5 months. I don’t know how to not risk my mental health while keeping my physical health anymore. Of course, to even HAVE a mental health I need to stay alive, so I’m not complaining- health care workers, people who go to job everyday (including my parents), etc. are in such a harder situation. I know. But my own life is also valid, and while not as troubling and concerning as lives of others right now, well, I think I’m still worth caring, at least by myself. I don’t expect any extra outside compassion or validation (we all are in same situation), me writing my thoughts here is more of me just trying to see my thoughts being worded on screen so that maybe I can come up with a solution to these things as I go. Because I’ve always been a problem-solver rather than just merely venting. (I can’t always solve problems though, I need to work on accepting this fact.) Anyway, I just thought, maybe spending more time outdoors in the natural park that is close to my house could be a good thing. But it’s crowded since it’s outdoors and I really don’t want to share any commonly used areas right now. (I used to be more than okay with this before covid, as I said, I’m mostly extroverted and I like community gatherings, but I like being healthy more), so like... Idk, maybe I can just sort of have phone calls and videochats with my friends as I sit outdoors. Except I don’t even know I have that many friends anymore. I mean, I do- I surely do have bestest of friends in my life that I’m grateful for, but like. I am somehow an introvert magnet and while I’d die for most of my best friends (both irl and online) I don’t really think they are as hype about just chatting as often as I am. (I know that this doesn’t mean they love me any less. They love me in their own way & I love them in their own way so that’s OK.) So like. Maybe Nila, have this BRILLIANT idea of making more friends. Except. Like. You’re at home so you aren’t in much of social gatherings [you aren’t in any! That is insane!] and you don’t really know how to make friends from home. I mean, yes there are online friends but like. EVEN WITH THEM. How can I just *trust* them right away? I can’t, so like. I don’t know. I’m bored af.  On the bright side, today one of my bff from school called me and said he’s back in town and that we should catch up, he’s literally one of the greatest company ever and he wants to see the doggo, so I’m positive we can just have hour 9242309204 hours long in-depth chats again without getting bored (amazing to have people like that in my life). Anyway. I guess the moral of this is:

- I need to accept “the new normal”

- I need to protect myself but try to keep my mental health as good as possible because I like myself more when my mental health is fine and I can also come up with better creations then

- I need to finish my course work (internship) so that I can relax before school starts

- I need to spend more time outdoors but in isolated areas (good luck finding them!) 

- I need to recharge

- I “want to” make more friends or just check up on existing ones! I can’t use the word “need” for this because this would degrade the freedom of the other party. Friends are appreciated, and to some extend, a necessity for social creatures like us, but no “need” will make it happen. I will just make an effort to check up on my existing friends more frequently-- I’m quite selective at this, though, I prefer generally upbringing people who are mature to a certain extend (aka, no obsession, no passive-aggression. yes to personal boundaries, yes to an overall nice attitude [we all can have problems and that’s ok and that’s normal. what /I/ personally don’t wish to be around [with my all respect] is this mindset of “life is a disaster let’s be depressed” thing. I just love love my current friend circle because even if my close friends are just around 7 people, and even if we get depressed or sad or scared, our general look to life is nicer, we don’t make disasters out of regular days, we enjoy talking and chatting, which overall increases our life quality and makes it better. We also communicate & respect & listen to each other and all. I mean. It’s not like that with everyone, and that’s ok, but as I said, this is my personal preference. I prefer having bonds that are good rather than toxic and I am doing my best to be equally good, rather than being toxic to my friends. [I’m sorry I post a lot of Banana Fish to those who don’t know Banana Fish, ok. I know ur bored but like I just cannot help it. I’m trying to tone it down but BANANA FISH.] sOOOOOOOO, SOOOO that’s why it’s not how “i have 29420343204 friends uwu” mindset, like, I noticed I need to be reasonably picky with those I’m close to so that I and people I love can overall have a nice, fun days, which is point of friendship. (I mean. As I said. I’m here on bad days too. But I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to carry the burden of someone else’s depression. It hasn’t even been two months since I’m out of therapy yet, and my mental health is, while not bad, it is fragile. I’d rather not be around those who can [mostly, unwillingly] effect me badly. SO LIKE.  - that’s one hell of a long post nila, but long story short FRIENDS or you’ll die out of boredom

- also just finish your coursework i beg you

- thanks for coming to my ted talk, I actually always offer potential solutions on my vent posts, but this time i wanted to write this publicly [i dont think anyone will read this and i dont mind it] because like. why not? it’s just me thinking and I feel as if this could be of use for some people who are reading this & isolating themselves too. anyway, i love u, stay safe. 

[normaldere]

was it u who posted the thing on my dash abt covid? i dont know who did it i think it was u but just know your take was good and logical as fuck and its so nice to see ppl who arent completely brainwashed online. u dont have to respond to this btw

It might have been me even though I usually delete posts I make about covid/politics. Thank you though lol, I’m pretty sure I got covid back in November/December of 2019 before it became a big pandemic thing. It sucked, but it really was more like a bad cold. I’m not saying this to disregard anyone who really did suffer through covid, just that it’s nothing like Ebola or bad enough for the amount of government overreach we’ve had. Of course depending on health + age everyone will respond differently, but it really has spiraled out of control. I’m not “anti-science/anti-vax” or whatever but people really need to be more critical when it comes to this stuff.

Skipping animal trials (even though they’re compromised in favor of the pharmaceutical industry anyway) and changing the definition of herd immunity in order to support an agenda is going too far. Labeling any criticism as “anti-science” and a conspiracy theory (when that term was coined by the CIA itself so okay lol) is ridiculous and shuts down people asking important questions. Telling people they’re evil/want to kill others/have no respect for healthcare workers when they express concerns regarding suicide and sexual/domestic violence rates increasing during lockdown is just ridiculous and really sad to see.

My brother’s autistic and flunking school rn because he can’t adjust to switching online. I’ve had friends drop out of college because they can’t adjust to online school and their GPAs have tanked. Whoever thinks this is going to end once the vaccine has been introduced is just naive, they’re already talking about (how many?) strains coming from England, so it looks like it’ll be another flu shot type thing but to the extreme. If you want to get vaccinated and think it’s safe regardless of the corners being cut (along with this new mRNA vaccine having never been tested on humans or used before, ever) then whatever. If you want to wear a mask and/or stay home then whatever, I really don’t care and I agree that masks and staying home should happen when you’re sick. If you’re healthy and know you’re healthy then you shouldn’t be forced to wear one. If businesses want mandatory hand-washing or hand sanitizer before browsing products then nbd, I don’t see the issue. It’s just sadisticly silly to see politicians make “public health” an issue of morality when they are literally letting their states crumble to the ground because they’re still getting paid. I’m not telling anyone to believe anything but THINK for god’s sake.

[overly-ironed-waffle]

alright so my husband woke me up the other week saying he felt like he might be getting sick, so I should start taking my immune boosting stuff just to be safe (cause I have a much weaker immune system)

then my youngest daughter went to bed with a cough around thanksgiving. woke up the next morning with a really bad phlegmy cough.

my oldest has been mildly congested but not too bad.

i started to feel sick around, idk, 11/29? maybe? it was just a few days after my youngest. it came on pretttttyy quick once it started to set in. 

two days ago i was in bed delirious, fever, just death. awful headcold. chest was meh but wasnt bad.

yesterday, head started to feel better, mild headache tho. but my chest was beginning to feel worse. every time i would move, i felt like i was gonna pass out. i kept crying cause i hated how my lungs felt (and then trying not to cry cause it obv made it so much worse)

today, my head feels totally fine but my lungs are still awful. if i don’t move, i think i feel okay. but as soon as i change position or get up to pee, i’m like “oh god what happened to being capable of breathing???” (i have weak lungs anyways, so being out of breath is not new for me but it’s not usually this bad.)

anyways, idk. i really don’t think i have covid, esp cause how weak my lungs and immune system are i have a feeling it would be REAL BAD for me if i did, kinda like when i had the flu for over a month and a half earlier this year.

buuuuuut i still have a test scheduled early next week, cause im supposed to start work soon and i figured it would be better safe than sorry, right?

idk. i feel like maybe im overreacting by scheduling one? i keep trying to tell myself its not that bad, but then i cant even get enough energy behind a breath to really talk, let alone scold my kids if they are misbehaving. i even haven’t had the strength or energy to be able to hold my senior (14+y/o) cat down to give him his antibiotics. so like, maybe it is kinda bad? but idk, it doesn’t feel like it cause my head is functional, i’m not feverish anymore (my temp is a LITTLE elevated; normally is around 97, and currently is at 98; so I feel warm but it’s prob fine), I can still taste which is a good sign (my sense of smell sucks anyways, so i can’t say much on that point), and my stomach is always fucked up, so it’s hard to say if any GI symptoms are related or not. its really just my lungs at the moment thats kinda like... blegh. and i have an occasional cough since my lungs feel thick/heavy.

also im super pissed cause somehow my test that i originally scheduled for monday, IN TOWN, got cancelled??? and luckily i went to check cause I forgot what time it was supposed to be, cause otherwise i wouldn’t have noticed. so i had to reschedule, but they didn’t have anymore on monday OR in town, so I had to schedule one for tuesday out of town. the idea of driving is so daunting rn, i dont even have the strength/energy to drive to the store across the street 😩

anyone who’s gotten tested, what should i expect? i can’t imagine it to be any worse than strep testing.

send tea & GF banana nut muffins pls.

[excessively-english-jd]

Hey there! Just wanted to make sure you knew, in case it could help a bit—celiac disease doesn’t make you more susceptible to viruses! An autoimmune condition means that your body attacks itself, as you probs know, but that doesn’t change the ability of your immune system to fight off outside infections. I have it too! ANYWAY u dont gotta publish this or anything, just wanted to make sure u know in case it helps a little, good LUCK

Oh I do know, don’t worry. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago. But, if you have an autoimmune disease, your immune system can still be weaker. It is malfunctioning, afterall. Coeliac can also cause issues with your spleen, which can lead to a weaker immune system if you have those issues (luckily I do not).

Additionally, like said, in the UK people with Coeliac disease are generally counted as “vulnerable/immunocompromised”, especially when it comes to things like flu. So I get free flu jabs, just like other “vulnerable” people (eg people over 70, people with asthma) do. I recently also got a pneumococcal vaccination, recommended because of my Coeliac.

Technically midway through the pandemic Coeliac and other autoimmune people got shunted off that list for COVID, but I remember at the beginning of lockdown they suggested “anyone who gets free flu jabs should shield as a vulnerable person”. And then they never updated us when that stopped. Lmao.

Either way my fiance has asthma and therefore even if I’m not technically at risk, I live with an at-risk person, so I still have to be extra careful, which is why I kept to shielding even after being told I wasn’t counted in the vulnerable category. Thank you, though!

[c4ndyc0ff1n]

Im so happy about that Im going to change schools, I have no more to see my ex-friends in class, and there are new people and teachers. Lets hope that those changes help me with my anxiety.

Also, to the new people following me for my Danganrompa headcannons, ILY like thank u, I didnt know that that amount of people would read them, im so happy about it <3

I really dont know when Im going to be able to go and write that much like I did yesterday, today my teachers tell me the date of an important math exam and Im really nervous about it since im very bad at that. 

Anyway, please to any people reading this, take care of yourself during all this COVID-19 thingy, even though is just an agressive flu you should care about it to not contamine yourself and your loved ones.

(Im not reblogging this on Twitter since I have low-key anxiety that the people from my actual school would read about me changing to the other school in town to make 3ºgrade of E.S.O)

[socksnstuff00]

It doesn't really matter if it's grief or covid or explosive diarrhea honestly. It's always none of our business.

But maybe we should all take a second to think about why speculating about grief is invasive but about the flu wouldn't be? Isn't it both health-related? Mental health is important and we're allowed to talk about it in the same way as we talk about our lactose intolerance if we'd like. And maybe that can be uncomfortable for some people and anyone is allowed to opt out of those conversations. But they're not inheritantly shameful conversations to have.

i dont even think ppl were like really invasive oO is normal to think she'd be kinda sad today. but anyway , she still not playing 😟

[troubledtrannyboy]

being trans- work edition

at work, i am not out. the only people who might know are the HR lady (haven’t changed my birth name yet) and possibly the nurse (covid shots/booster card). but literally no one else knows. and i dont even think the HR lady and nurse think I’m trans, they might just think I have a femme birth name. 

so anyway, at work I have this work-wife and we like to talk and what not. but last week, my work wife was out sick (luckily not due to covid). so at first i didnt pay any mind to it, i just assumed she might have a family emergency or have the flu. but it turns out that she is going to be out for at least a few weeks! immediately i try to figure out whats going on, since this is so abrupt and i dont have her phone number so i cant really ask her myself. 

each time i ask someone, they say “i dont feel comfortable disclosing that info, so you should reach out to her about it”. which is so frustrating bc i literally cant

but yesterday i finally got a tiny bit of info. i talked to the assistant head of school, and she was just about to tell me what was going on, when she stopped herself and said “oh its lady issues, so you might not understand”

FOR FUCKS SAKE

I DO UNDERSTAND

I wanted to scream “BUT I HAVE A VAGINA” so badly. but instead i just sat there and nodded my head

yall im so stealth that its now making me sad :( im nosy and i need the info! my work wife is dying without me 😭

[ithisatanytime]

 Apparently there was a shooting in colorado, i dont fucking care and neither should you. i am going to make a point that has been made before but you NEED to understand it, you have to for the sake of our futures. ten fucking people died in a shooting and i see people saying “thats so sad” if you are this individual you arent empathetic you are stupid and easily manipulated by the media and shouldnt share your opinions publicly on policy EVER. you dont cry every single year for the 40,000 people AT LEAST who die in america from the flu (every year except covid years apparently). america is a big fucking country, EACH STATE is equivalent to a country in the rest of the world, we are a country comprised of FIFTY individual countries pretty much, a lot of shit is gonna go down. we also have a large black population that most of europe does not have (they recently gained one though, watch the stats) and when you break down gun deaths you find that some eighty percent of gun deaths occur in the inner city, a great deal of the rest are suicides, and mass shootings are just a tiny tiny fraction of them. what does this mean? black people tend to shoot each other way more often than white people or asians (this is a verified fact, get mad if you want to) what should we do about that? i dont know, but pretending like america has a “gun problem” is fucking disingenuous at best and an outright lie at worst. if we somehow managed the impossible and reduced the amount of guns in the USA significantly gang members in the inner city would stab each other and wed have a knife problem, ban knifes, a bomb problem, ban bomb making materials and wed have a car problem as they ran each other over, and further more, the jewish establishment would proceed to give zero fucks about what we think about what they are doing to us. despite the tanks and the drones they are still constantly trying to repeal the second amendment, think about that the next time you support gun control because “we would just lose a war with the state anyway”. they arent doing all this media shit against guns because they care about black inner city youths, i promise you. they hype up these mass shootings because it appeals to womens misguided sense of “it could happen to me” yeah it could happen bitch and you could also win the lottery and prince williams could ask for your hand in marriage, but i wouldnt count on it. 

[idontlikepuppies]

uhh I think I have the rona??

but as of now I’m asymptomatic??

Either I got it from a friend or my brother brought it home from school

If my friend has rona (test hasn’t come back yet but symptoms line up), there’s NO WAY I dont have it, bc we were Very Close™️ and he showed symptoms the day we hung out/the very next day. I won’t blame him for a second tho bc that’s what I risked, and since he has asthma we just chalked the symptoms up to that since they were similar to what he regularly deals with. (so yes, I think I have heard a genuine covid cough. that AND holyshithehasasthma :,(

OR, my brother brought it home from public school, which makes sense bc his school no longer cares and HE doesnt care (yesss he’s going through the stereotypical joe rogan ben shapiro phase rn. shoot me :) mild but very flu-like, covid-esque symtoms, I wouldn’t doubt it for a second if he has the rona

What’s most likely is that my friend gave it to me, and I passed it onto my brother, leaving me asymptomatic-not out of the realm of possibility bc I’m 19 and healthy.

HOWEVER (incoming rant #1)

IF my brother got it from school and I just havent caught it yet, FUCK HIM, bc he isnt taking this seriously AT ALL. literally had to lie to him that I was changing my clothes in order to keep him out of my room, but later he barged in anyways and coughed everywhere when I yelled at him to leave but that’s a funny joke right :) right :) own the left by giving them rona as a prank 😎

there’s NO WAY he’s going to take a test on his own, which wouldnt be a problem because he’s a child, right? our parents would make sure he gets one anyways, right? right?

enter. rant. two. :)

here’s some genius excuses I’ve heard the past day from my dad, who doesnt think anyone in my family should get tested, even after I was exposed and my brother has symptoms;

“dad he’s got a lot of corona symptoms, what makes you think it’s not rona” “well your brother doesnt have a fever” “so it’s just a hunch. gotcha.” (not to mention, asymptomatic people?? he already HAS symtoms, get him a damn test)

“well, two people I know have gotten tested, and it came back negative, so 🤷🏻‍♂️” ah yes. every damn test that comes back negative is a waste of 10 minutes and $0. forgive me for being cautious :) There’s literally nothing else I can say about he’s so. fucking. dumb.

I think I convinced my mom to get him set up for a test, but who knows if she’ll follow through :/ espeically since my brother’s symptoms are lessening :/ how is my family so dumb :/ it’s a miracle I turned out with at least half a brain cell :/ I should have been so much dumber :/

so that’s where we are now <3

above all I’m worried for my friend :,( he has mild asthma and he isn’t having the best time right now-nothing requiring hospitalization but he just feels really shitty and I dont want that for him :/

But! there are two kinda funny things about this situation

no one knows that my sick friend and I are uh. “hanging out.” on a frequent basis. they might not think much of it, or even assume what’s really going on but that’s GOTTA be suspicious. Oh Wow Those Two Have To Quarantine At The Same Time Huh Wonder What That’s About

potentially being asymptomatic while your shitty sibling is going through (mild!) hell is! a treat <3 especially when this sibling shits on you all the time for your diet and exercise? sorry that I’m asymptomatic and you feel like shit. I’m 😎 just 😎 built 😎 different 😘

anyways I think my family will be ok and as nervous as I am for my friend I’m sure he’ll pull through

TLDR

Probably got rona from my friend I’m secretly seeing on the side so now the friend group might figure that since we both got sick the same time. I’m asymptomatic, my family and my friend should be ok, but no one in my faimly cares and my brother probably wont get tested as everyone else plans to go about their daily life