#i have to go to the shitshow that is work and be asked to train the intern i had a falling out with months ago who still acts like a pos

[your-fave-is-bi]

good news: dont have covid or the flu

bad news: this means my mystery throat hurting and muscles aching is so far indeed still a mystery

also bad news: dont get to stay home from work

[theycalledhimastar]

if you are comfortable with writing Nikolai :

Can you write something similar like Neithboir price but with Nikolai?

Maybe reader being IT assisnat for 141 and having their car broken ? Or reader being new 141 Solider and needing help with something in their office?

Also bonus points if reader will be masc 👉👈

>w< anon~

Aaaaack! Absolutely! I have no clue why I didn't get a notification for this, tumblr is stinky like that! Let's get some Nikolai love up in here >:3

Nikolai x M!reader (Fluff!)

(Likely inaccurate but whatever, we ball you guys)

☄. *.

Your day had already been a total shitshow, from the moment your alarm failed to wake you up. Tumbling out of bed, you already had a creeping feeling that today was going to be... a long one. Your boots just didn't feel quite right, your sleep posture probably wasn't right so now your neck was sore and stiff, and your mood was positively foul.

Morning Training wasn't any better, truth be told. You felt like a rookie all over again, practically embarrassing yourself with your clumsy performance. The fresh bruises attested to the morning's lousy work as you trudged to the showers. Where, of course the water was cold, you couldn't complain, but you wanted to.

The shitty breakfast felt worse than normal, the coffee more bitter and gritty than it was supposed to be. The coffee grinds trapped in your teeth making you cringe all through your afternoon routine. Why couldn't you catch a break? Nobody else seemed to notice what was so horrible, that only added to it all, really.

The straw that broke the camel's back, was when your computer simply refused to cooperate in the middle of your paperwork. Of course, because why the hell not? You buried your face in your hands, wanting to scream and throw the stupid device. Unfortunately, you couldn't do that, you needed it for other work matters. So you were forced to ask around to see if anyone could help you with the slow, laggy, uncooperative piece of shit.

Naturally, nobody really knew what exactly to do, offering a choir of "try turning it on and off again". That, or they just didn't care and opted to shrug off your issues. You were ready to give up, practically banging your head against the wall when a gentle hand on your shoulder interrupted your meltdown. You had seen Nikolai around base a few times, chatted a little bit here and there and you liked him well enough...

A normal amount...

Totally...

"What's wrong sergeant?"

That alone was enough to make you start ranting about the horrible day you were having. Your alarm, training, breakfast, the showers, your computer, everything that had plagued you all thrown onto the older man. Nik just took it like a champ, nodding and agreeing every couple of sentences while gently ushering you back to your office so that he could fix your "stupid computer".

"I cannot help with the coffee, that stuff is always horrible. But I know a thing or two about computers if you would like some assistance."

You stand to the side, watching Nik type over your computer. You try not to let your gaze linger too long on his dexterous fingers as they swiftly move over the keyboard. Now is definitely not the time to make things awkward, but you can't help yourself. The fatherly figure has always been your type, and that accent has become your weakness the more time you have spent around him. You knew it was futile, he probably barely noticed you. You were new to the force and barely spoke to him for fear of embarrassing yourself horrendously. But still, one could daydream.

Meanwhile, Nik was more than aware of your not-so-subtle staring. He tried to attribute it to you trying to watch what he did to try it yourself next time. But when he realized you were staring at his hands and not the screen, he knew that wasn't it. While he was flattered by a young, fresh sergeant like yourself taking such interest in himself, he wasn't going to entertain the thought himself. Problems came about when you thought too long about that kind of thing.

"Alright, that should do it I think. These things are touchy sometimes. You just have to have that magic touch I guess."

He held up his hands with a grin, turning to stand up fully from his hunched over position. The way you stared at his raised hands sending a pang of pride straight to his chest. Maybe he could entertain it a little bit...

You stumbled over yourself to thank him, offering a favor of some kind, but he just brushed it aside. Ever the generous one, he wasn't going to expect anything for some simple computer fix. You silently wished that he would have accepted, you would've had an excuse to talk to him again later on. Alas, you would simply have to gather up the courage for another time. Although, when he patted you firmly on the back to leave and get to his own work, you very quickly decided that the day wasn't so bad after all...

[bella-rose29]

Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - Part 2

To make this work (I'm sorry) the reader has a very large family, and they will have names (I genuinely cannot be asked to try and figure that out and make it entirely... non OC)

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: swearing, lockwood and children so beware your hearts, lockwood gets hugged and can't deal with it, the family members are mean, reader doesn't eat much, lockwood is still a bit of an arse and so is the reader (but hers is more justified), proofread maybe once

series master list

So far, it had absolutely been a shitshow.

Lockwood had remained silent for the next hour and a half of the train journey, and with not much else to do but plan every tiny detail of their fake relationship Y/n thought she might be going mad.

Luckily they already knew a lot about each other, so they could get away with not going over basic details about the other's life, but Y/n hadn't talked much about her family to anyone other than George in rants after phone calls with them, so if they thought that she was talking shit about them behind their backs (which she was, but they didn't need to know that) then they would descend like vultures.

She was disrupted from her thoughts when Lockwood stood up from the table seats they'd managed to get, his leg kicking at hers as he manoeuvred into the aisle, not sparing a second glance at Y/n. She frowned, about to call after him and ask where he was going, but when he disappeared out the doors and into the next carriage she decided that she didn't really care, and at least he wasn't brooding in her field of vision.

Y/n had barely been on her own for a minute when a family of five came into the carriage (they must have got on at the station they had recently stopped at), and with her being the only one sat on a table on her own and all the others taken, they made for her. She swallowed, for once wishing Lockwood was here to make her look less selfish, and sat up a little straighter in her seat.

"Excuse me, but would you mind moving? We've got three kids and need somewhere for us all to sit, and since there's only one of you..." The man trailed off, looking at Y/n pointedly, and while initially she had wanted to hold her ground she could feel herself shrinking under his gaze.

Where the fuck is Lockwood?!

He could talk his way out of this, she was sure. It was one of the few things she begrudgingly accepted was brilliant about him. It's not like Y/n didn't need the table; Lockwood's huge bag was sat on it and taking up most of the space, and her own backpack was on the seat next to her, but suddenly her breath was coming too quickly and her throat was closing up, and the man in front of her looked a little too similar to that one uncle-

"Is everything alright?" Lockwood's voice broke through the silence, and Y/n was annoyed to find herself reaching for him.

"Yeah, we just need this table, but this girl isn't moving."

"Sorry, my girlfriend's pretty tired at the moment, what with agents being in high demand right now. How about if we share? I think she needs a nap, poor thing, and we've got rather a lot of luggage between the two of us. I'll move over her side, shall I? Then you can take the other- yes, hello, little one." One of the couples' children had been tugging on Lockwood's hand, and Y/n could see the man's posture relax the more Lockwood talked, watching as her fake-boyfriend picked up the small child with ease and planted him on the train seat. The other two followed quickly, glad to not be on their feet any longer, and Lockwood came to sit next to Y/n, pulling his bag closer to them on the table and shoving her backpack onto the floor between everyone's legs. "See, you three all fit there perfectly don't you! You're only small," Lockwood was saying to the children, not yet noticing Y/n's shaky state. Their parents seemed to be content with the arrangement, taking their own seats across the aisle where they could watch their kids, and through the slight haze covering her eyes Y/n could see them visibly relax.

Once everybody was settled, Lockwood shuffled around in his seat trying to get comfortable, and when his elbow accidentally jabbed into Y/n's side he frowned at her.

"You alright?" he whispered, not wanting to draw the attention of their new companions. She took a moment to reply, not quite registering that Lockwood had actually said anything.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Right... just- you didn't say anything when I elbowed you just then and I'm worried you might be having a stroke."

"I'm not having a stroke, you idiot," she said, glare appearing on her face. She had some much better names for him, but with three children under the age of ten in front of her, she figured she should stick to the more family-friendly ones. Lockwood smiled, bright and wide and far too blinding.

"That's better." Apparently he had forgotten about the mishap on the platform earlier, and his previous ignorance of her presence, because after that he launched into a whole spiel of what their plan would be.

"Actually," she interrupted, not caring that he looked annoyed, "I've had a lot of time to figure this out. I just need you to confirm or come up with something better on a few things and we should be fine."

"Alright then, what's your grand plan?"

"Well we already know most of the basic stuff about each other, what with living together for nearly three years, so that solves that problem. One thing I did think of was family, since neither of us have actually..." she trailed off, unsure where the two of them stood on that subject given what had happened earlier. Lockwood was only nodding, his brow furrowed.

"Come to think of it, you've never really mentioned your family much," he said.

Y/n shrugged. "I just don't... you know... I just don't..." she flailed her hands around in front of her for a few moments, trying to come up with the right words.

"I don't know," Lockwood replied coolly, "Should I?"

"I just thought I'd tell you about who's gonna be there today, which is my mum and dad, my four brothers, my sister, my Aunt Linda, and her daughter Stephanie. Oh, and my grandparents on my mother's side, but they'll probably be in bed by the time we get there."

"That's... a lot of people."

"Yeah. There'll be more for the party tomorrow, and then the day after will be the same group from today again, and we're leaving that day anyway."

"Okay... what about names?"

"My mum is called Emma, my dad is Ben, my brothers are Sam, John, William, and Tom from oldest to youngest, and then my sister is called Olivia. My Grandma is Jean and my Gramps is Richard."

"Right." Lockwood paused for a moment, reciting the names under his breath. "Anything else I should know?"

"Aunt Linda and Steph are gonna be the worst, since they always try and make life miserable for me. They're ridiculously rich and like making fun of my job- oh, yeah, barely anybody supports my life choices or my job as an agent, so just prepare for that. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, Steph and Linda will try and find out anything that could be used against us, so I really hope you can act because otherwise they'll figure this whole thing out in seconds."

"Wait-"

"And my brother Will is the most supportive, 'cause he knows that there are options for work after my Talent fades and I'm not going to be out on the streets-"

"Y/n-"

"-and he, John and Sam all play rugby so try not to piss them off because they're twice your size and will snap you like a twig-"

"Y/n!"

"What?!"

"You need to slow down! Go back to the part about your family not supporting your job?"

"Oh, there's not much to it, really." She felt awkward now, his gaze far too sharp for her liking. If he knew the full extent of how much she didn't like her family, he would waste no time in using it to make fun of her and take the upper hand while he could, and she would be left to sink further into herself until she disappeared. "They just don't think I'll have many options, so they want me to think about my next steps."

"Okay..." Lockwood trailed off, getting distracted by something the children were talking about and being asked his opinion on starfish. He looked as though he was about to start conversing with her again, but the train pulled into the platform they needed, and Lockwood was all business getting the luggage out safely.

~~~

"Are you alright?"

Y/n jumped a little in the back of the taxi, not expecting Lockwood's voice so close to her ear. "Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You're very bouncy. If you're fine then could you not? You're jolting me."

Why had she thought he was trying to be nice? She should have known better by now that he wouldn't ever be that way with her, but it still stung.

Truthfully, she was on the verge of tears.

She wouldn't ever tell Lockwood that, of course, because how could he understand? He seemed to walk into any situation effortlessly, with endless optimism and charm that made life easy for him. Y/n was stuck panicking about seeing her family again, because if she couldn't even stand up to some random strangers on the train, how was she ever going to stand up to her family? No, she would just have to do her best to hide everything from Lockwood, to reduce the amount of blackmail material he would have against her.

~~~

The taxi pulled up outside the large cottage-style house, and Lockwood let out a low whistle.

"L/n, you never said your family was this fancy."

"They aren't. It was my Grandma's house, then she got dodgy knees and never moved out, and we moved in after selling up our old place to look after her and Gramps. We're about as fancy as your family, Lockwood, in that we too have multiple mortgages on this building to keep it."

"Anthony."

"What?" Y/n frowned, not sure what he was talking about.

"If we're going to pretend that we're dating, you probably shouldn't be calling me by my last name."

"Oh." She hadn't thought about that. The only reason she even knew his first name was because it was in large print on the sign outside the house, since it was generally accepted that he went by Lockwood and that was that.

"Or you could use some sort of nickname. I've got a few for you if you'd like to hear them." The grin on his face made Y/n think that she really didn't want to hear them, but he opened his mouth again anyway. "How about Sugarplum?" Y/n got out the car, slamming the door shut on him a little more harshly than she needed to. "Snookums? I think you look like a Snookums." The taxi driver was giving the two of them strange looks as he unloaded their bags, but Y/n ignored Lockwo- Anthony (she would have to get used to that) and handed over the money for the drive. "What about Sun Beam? Actually, you're too grumpy for that one. Oh, I know! My personal favourite," he paused for some sort of dramatic effect, being left behind on the driveway as Y/n stomped towards the front door. "Schmoopie."

Y/n stopped suddenly, turning to look back at her fake boyfriend with an incredulous look on her face. "Schmoopie?" He looked far too proud of himself as he picked up his bag and caught up with her, and she resisted the urge to hit him.

"Don't you like it, Schmoopie?"

"Call me that again and I'll be chucking your Source in the furnaces within the week." Lockwood (Anthony - she really needed to start calling him Anthony or she'd be saying 'Lockwood' to her family) Can't you just use my name? Or, you know, a more generic pet name?"

"Fine. You're very boring, I hope you know that."

"Sure. Just swear to me you'll never call me 'Schmoopie' again." She said the word with disgust, scrunching her nose up and fighting the urge to gag.

"Whatever you want, darling." That wasn't much better, but at least it was normal. Y/n raised her hand to knock, but before she could the door was being flung open, revealing a woman in a very festive jumper.

"You're here! She's here!"

~~~

Lockwood stood back slightly as the woman wrapped her arms around Y/n, squeezing so tightly he feared for his colleague's spine.

He braced himself for a similar treatment when she pulled back and spotted him, and the next thing he knew he was close to being suffocated as she brought him into a hug. Lockwood held his breath, his eyes wide and arms stuck out to the side as he tried to figure out what the hell he was meant to be doing. He hadn't been hugged like this since, well, since Jess. It took him a few seconds to work out that he needed to reciprocate the hug, but once he had, god. Why was he choking up? He could feel Y/n's eyes on him, so he shut his own and basked in the feeling of actually being held.

"You must be the boyfriend!" the woman said, pulling back and holding him by the forearms.

"Mum! Please don't terrify him!"

So this was Emma L/n, Y/n's mother.

"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs L/n." He flashed one of his winning smiles, and he could see her visibly relaxing.

"Oh Emma, please!" She looked back over her shoulder at Y/n, mouthing (incredibly non-subtly) 'He's handsome!'

"Mum!" Y/n hissed, starting to turn red.

"What's your name then young man!"

"Anthony Lockwood," he replied, and took particular pleasure in seeing Y/n squirm in the background.

"Well, you'd better come in. Do you need help with the bags?"

"Oh, no, I've got them," he assured her, shouldering his large bag and reaching for the suitcase handle that Y/n was currently holding onto. She didn't relent for a moment, and they had a silent argument for control of the suitcase until eventually with a small tug he won, stumbling ever so slightly from the effort.

"Everything alright?" Emma asked, frowning at the two of them.

"Yes, perfectly fine!" Lockwood called back, shooting a glare at Y/n. She reciprocated, clenching her jaw at his smug smile that came afterwards. He moved inside the house, Y/n following shortly behind and closing the door to keep the warmth in.

"Where should we put our bags?" Y/n asked her mother.

~~~

They had a problem.

A very large problem.

"Well I'm not sharing with you," Lockwood said, moving further into the room that Y/n's mother had shown them to.

"Good," she said, eyeing the double bed. "Just don't complain when your back gives in from sleeping on the floor for so long."

"What? No, I'm taking the bed."

"It's my family home, what gives you more reason to have the bed than me?"

"I'm your boss, and I pay your wages. If you want to keep being paid then I'm having the bed."

Y/n scoffed, shaking her head. "Arsehole," she muttered, going over to the windows and closing the curtains against the now-dark sky outside. The bed was definitely large enough for two people to share, but when those two people hated each others' guts and weren't actually dating, the bed was far too small.

"What was that?"

"Arsehole," she repeated loudly, making sure to look him dead in the eyes when she did so, then immediately turning and heading into the en-suite bathroom.

"What is your issue with me?" he said, following after her.

"You're taking the bed! It's my fucking house!"

"Let's not forget that without me, you would be in a lot more of a tricky situation! I think I deserve the bed for my efforts; it's not easy pretending to love you, you know!"

"Oh, like it's so easy to love you?! You are so horrible to me, all the time, and now I have to pretend to actually want to be with you?! I'd have been in a difficult situation anyway, the only difference is that in this one, I have a fake boyfriend. I could deal with the humiliation of not having anyone with me, but this?" she laughed bitterly. "This is near to being beyond me, Lockwood." Fuck, why was she tearing up? She closed the bathroom door firmly in Lockwood's face, ignoring the shocked expression on his face in the second before he disappeared from her view.

She pushed the lock, waiting for the click before turning and facing the sink, bracing her hands on the edge and heaving a few deep breaths. She hadn't realised how hard it would be to pretend that she was completely fine around her family while they picked and prodded and commented and made snide remarks, and having Lockwood around was only making it worse.

She couldn't even begin to imagine all the things he would use as ammunition in the future. He'd have a field day on this holiday, taking all of her family's words and turning them against her, becoming even worse than he had been before.

A knock sounded on the door, light and unsure, and Lockwood's voice followed afterwards. "...Y/n? I- I'm-" he sighed, and she could imagine him clenching his jaw and looking up at the ceiling as he tried to fight against the nice words he was clearly trying to say. "I have a shit sleep schedule anyway, and you go to sleep a lot faster than I do so it's better for me to sit in a chair when I can't get to sleep and you can lie down, so... yeah." Y/n was surprised at how kind he was, and was starting to wonder if he was having some sort of stroke. But then he started talking again and she knew that he was completely fine.

"If you could not take for fucking ever in the bathroom though that would be great, because I really need a piss."

~~~

"Ah, there you both are! You took your time putting your bags away!" Linda's gaze drifted to Y/n as she said that, eyes sharpening and making the back of Y/n's neck prickle.

"Oh, that's my fault, sorry," Lockwood started, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her in. Y/n stiffened, not used to being so close to him, and tried to force a smile onto her face. "I got carried away asking questions about the photos around the room, and I think I might have driven her slightly mad." He was smiling so widely and cheerfully that Y/n could practically feel everybody relaxing and warming up to him. It was frustrating, really, how they had known him for roughly ten seconds and already seemed to like him more than her. Her brothers were eyeing him up, trying to figure out whether they needed to take him outside or just give him a good talking to. Her sister Olivia was also eyeing Lockwood up, but in a very different way to their brothers that was making Y/n somewhat uncomfortable. It wasn't that they didn't get on and that was what was wrong, but they were sisters, and therefore they naturally disagreed on some things.

Apparently Lockwood's level of attractiveness was one of them.

"Oh, not to worry," her mother said, already loving having Lockwood here. "I made tea, if you'd like some? There's cake too, and far too much of it, so take as much as you want!"

"Tea would be lovely, Emma, thank you," Lockwood said, moving his arm away from Y/n's shoulders. She nearly jumped out of her skin in shock when she felt his hand land on her lower back instead, pushing her forward towards the empty loveseat that sat closest to the roaring fire. "Try not to look quite so horrified at this whole thing, darling," he whispered right into her ear, emphasising the pet name. "And maybe relax a little too, yeah?" He sat down on the chair, leaving very little room for Y/n to sit down herself without pressing up against him. She gave up trying to keep space between them when she ended up perching on the edge and gained strange looks from everyone else. Lockwood pulled her back towards him, grabbing her waist with both hands and tugging until she was right up against his chest, their thighs pressed together. He didn't let go, keeping his arms around her and nestling his head in the crook of her neck. She hadn't loosened up since walking in to the living room, and she was entirely sure that her spine was as stiff as one of the wooden floorboards under her feet. Her mother handed over two mugs of tea, placing them on the small side table next to their chair, then went to cut two slices of cake, starting with Lockwood's. He accepted his plate gratefully, smiling brightly up at her.

"How big of a slice, Y/n/n?"

"Uh... maybe-"

"Don't give her too big of a slice, she doesn't need that much," Stephanie interrupted, her tone sickly sweet. Y/n froze, and behind her she could feel Lockwood glancing between the two girls, trying to figure out what was happening. Her mother cut a decent sized slice, ignoring her niece's comment and handing the plate to Y/n.

"Did you make this, Emma?" Lock-Anthony (she might just give up trying to correct herself in a minute) asked.

"Oh, yeah, but you know, it's not my best."

"Well I think it's delicious, you'll have to share the recipe with me so I can have more of it back in London!"

"I'd be happy to! Do you bake then?"

"Oh, no, I'm awful. I'd burn the house down I'm sure. But our friend George is a magician in the kitchen."

"Remind me what you do for work again?" her father asked.

"Actually, maybe you could just... tell us. Since we know nothing about you!" Linda laughed. "We don't even know your name!"

"Anthony Lockwood," he said, yet another of his classic Lockwood smiles taking over his face. Y/n was starting to feel sick from the way Stephanie and Linda were watching them, and she put her fork down on her plate. "Y/n hasn't mentioned me much then?"

"No," Linda simpered. "I have to say, I was very surprised when I heard my sister say that Y/n had a boyfriend. I'm even more surprised that you actually exist!"

"I can't really blame her for not saying anything, I suppose. We're very busy a lot of the time and when we are free I'm often dragging her out on dates and the like, so if you haven't heard from her then that's entirely my fault." God, how was he such a good liar? Everybody believed him right away, but if she tried to get away with something like that they'd be asking so many questions she would give up and tell the truth.

"And... what is it you do for work?" her father asked again, desperate for the answer.

"I'm an agent."

"Fittes or Rotwell?"

"Uh... no, I-"

"Bunchurch then? Or maybe Grimble?"

"Actually," Lockwood glanced at Y/n, and she nodded slightly, bracing herself for her family's reaction. "I run my own agency. George, who I mentioned earlier, is our researcher, Lucy is our Listener, Holly our secretary, and then of course there's Y/n. Best Touch in England." He squeezed her slightly, and when she looked back at him he was smiling up at her so adoringly that she wondered how she ever hated him.

Then he jabbed her side, making her wobble and nearly spill the tea that she'd just picked up, and she remembered that he was a dick.

"Your... own... agency?"

"Yes." Lockwood didn't seem perturbed, which was lucky, because Y/n was feeling increasingly more unsettled with every second that passed. "We're based in London in my family home, but we take clients from all around England."

"Right... so that makes you Y/n's... boss?"

"I know it's not... the usual, but there is nothing that says we cannot be in a relationship. Believe me, I've checked. I don't think there is anything that could have been done to stop me from falling for your daughter, sir, despite her own best efforts, and I like to think that I keep my role as her boss completely separate from my role as her boyfriend."

Y/n stared at him in mild shock, not quite believing how sincere he sounded, and Lockwood was refusing to look at her.

Uneasy glances were exchanged by nearly all of Y/n's gathered family members, the only exceptions being Will, who had always supported Y/n, and Olivia, who was too busy checking Lockwood out. Y/n put her plate of cake down, having spent the last few minutes picking at it and barely eating any, and ignored the look that Lockwood gave her. She wasn't feeling hungry at all now that she was surrounded by everyone, and Stephanie was watching every move she made with terrifying intensity. No doubt there would be some fresh insults this year, and Y/n couldn't wait to be back home again.

Home.

Since when had she considered Lockwood's house her home?

"You alright?" Lockwood whispered in her ear. He kept asking her that, and it was freaking her out a little.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She stood up, gently detaching herself from Lockwood's grip and putting her mug of tea on the side table, half drunk. "Just need the loo, be back in a bit." She tried smiling at everyone, but the water gathering in her eyes made it difficult to pretend that she was actually fine, and she left the room finding it hard to breathe. Y/n headed up the stairs and into the bathroom attached to the room that she and Lockwood were staying in, and for the second time that day braced herself on the sink as she tried to regain control of her body. "Fuck," she muttered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." She splashed some cold water on her face, holding it against her skin in the hopes that it would shock her back into being alright again, then turned off the tap and sat on the floor, her back to the sink and her legs stretched out in front.

Only two more days to go, and then she could go back to her normal life.

Two more days of this, and she was free, and could eat as much cake as she wanted, because George and Lucy would be stuffing their faces too.

She just had to fake it until then.

part 3

Tag list: @ahead-fullofdreams, @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @locklyebrainrot, @locknco, @mentallyillsodapop (I just realised I hadn't added you I'm so sorry 😭 although I don't know if you wanted to be added actually idkkk) @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife

please let me know if I've missed you off the series tag list, and I'll put you right on! <3

[esamastation]

Part thirty-three of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two

-

Reno hates the fact that in the last twenty four hours he's somehow become the Turk Expert on SOLDIER behaviour. Well, Rude did some of the research too, but still, this is not the way Reno expected to see his career going.

"I think the fundamental problem with the entire SOLDIER corps is that they don't know how to take a fucking break," he decides, rocking his chair back and forth on its back legs while making faces at the ceiling. "I mean, just look at the shitshow that started just because Sephiroth took some time off! They couldn't even let him have that."

Rude hums, shuffling through what looks like all of the camp's paperwork.

Reno continues, crossing his hands behind his neck. "Rhapsodos and Hewley don't leave him alone, everything he does is scrutinised -"

"Mostly by us," Rude comments.

Reno ignores him. "The other Firsts take him out training, because they don't do enough of that in their work hours, clearly, and then Rhapsodos drags him out shopping, and that's just the first day. The second day he goes to train in what was at the time an empty training room not in use, and the moment he does, people call Hojo on his ass," he waves a hand. "The poor schmuck took a break, and all he got was so much stress for it! And that's without even taking into consideration his memory loss!"

Rude hums in agreement and then looks up. "SOLDIERs don't have work hours."

"What?" Reno asks, his momentum halted.

"SOLDIERs aren't paid by the hour - they're paid by the mission. They, technically, pick their own hours. They can and do regularly make thousands of Gil in a matter of hours."

The front legs of Reno's chair bang against the floor, rattling their entire paper hut of a house. "Well, I know that, yes, everyone knows that. It's a big selling point, aside from the whole become a hero by having Mako pumped into your veins thing."

Rude hums in agreement. "With his mission completion rate, Sephiroth regularly makes up to quarter million Gil in a month."

"... By working how many hours, in general, per day?"

"Seventeen - 

"Seventeen?! When does the fucker sleep?!"

Rude shrugs and puts the papers down. "According to his medical file, he generally can do with five hours of sleep while maintaining optimal function."

"And who the fuck determined that - Professor Hojo?" Reno scoffs. "Un-fucking-believable. Also my point is made! SOLDIERs don't know how to take a fucking break."

"Truly a detrimental view on work," Rude agrees.

"It really fucking is! I mean, come on! You take a bunch of jacked up meatheads, give them a system that massively rewards their overwork, you keep them on call all the time, keeping them on edge and hyped up, all the while Hojo looms over them like the fucking boogeyman and can pull them into the labs any time he wants!" Reno scoffs. "Never mind the fact that they're considered, technically, Shinra property, with all the Mako in their veins, so they have fuck all employee's rights."

"Might add to the reason why so few take time off," Rude agrees.

"They do have paid time off, right?" Reno asks. "The program isn't that much of a shit, right?"

"They do, standard rate… which is on average about a fifth of what they'd stand to make working. Or in Sephiroth's case… one-thirtieth."

"Of course it fucking is," Reno scoffs with disgust.

"... And the Science department can still call them in, if they're in Midgar."

"So either work yourself to early death or take a massive hit to the wallet and still Science can just grab your ass if they feel like it! What the fuck," Reno mutters. "Who the fuck designed the SOLDIER program, anyway?"

"According to the paperwork, originally Professor Gast… but its current form is mostly Professor Hojo's handiwork."

"Guess I should've expected that," Reno mutters and rocks back in his chair again, glaring at the ceiling. "The whole fucking system is rigged to blow. Nice fucking experiment you got there, Professor."

And now it's his problem to deal with. Wonderful.

He thinks of the way Angeal said it, time and privacy, like it was a joke, an impossible task. It makes him so fucking mad.

The only fucking reason work as a Turk is worth it sometimes is because it comes with some sweet fucking benefits - including properly paid time off and all the incentive on the fucking planet to use it, too. Because way back when Turks were first put together, then still called the Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department, someone had the common sense to look at these guys, with abilities and access of fucking spies, and go, "yeah, you know what we don't want to see - what happens when these assholes get burnout." Because that's how you end up with your asshole bosses assassinated in the night.

To this day Turks will fight tooth and nail to keep their off work hours off the fucking clock. Because what happens on the clock is bad enough, and if it doesn't justify being able to fucking punch out at the end of the day, then what's even the fucking point?

Time and privacy aren't impossible to get, for the Turks - those are fucking contractually enforced benefits they're entitled to, and just a few of many! They keep them fucking sane! And woe be the fucking asshole who tries to mess with them. Even Heidegger knows better.

It's so damn wild to realise that just a few floors down there a bunch of bastards who just don't… care? Who are incentivised not to care. Who'd rather work themselves to death rather than risk being seen at loose ends. Guess that's how Shinra keeps the SOLDIERs in check - they're clearly all of them too overworked to even think straight anymore. And those who are not working still might be pulled into the Science Department any time. Shit.

Dragging his hands down his face with a groan, Reno rolls out of his chair. "I hate this fucking assignment already. Did you find anything?"

"There are a few potential sites," Rude agrees and shows him a drawn map of the area. "A charcoal burner's house over here has been abandoned for months, and might be in bad condition. A hunter's lodge over here, it's higher up on the mountains and might be within view of Wutai patrols from Fort Tamblin. And here there's an old farm, partially burned in a bombing two years back, abandoned since."

Reno considers the locations. The hunter's lodge is right out… "We'll start with the charcoal place," he decides. "If that doesn't work out, then the farm."

"Sounds good," Rude agreed. "How will we justify it?"

"Do we justify it? It's Turk business," Reno scoffs, taking out his PHS. "And so, it's no one's business."

Rude thinks about that for a moment and then nods. "I'll requisition supplies."

"You do that," Reno agrees, checks his watch to make sure it's office hours back home and makes a call. It takes no time for the call to connect. "Good morning, boss, how's the weather in Midgar?"

"There was a storm, but it looks like the worst is over now," Tseng answers. "What's the word for Sephiroth?"

Reno flashes back to the moment he heard the arguably strongest man in the world sobbing into his hands about how fucked he is. "Yeah, so, about that. We're making some new arrangements."

-

What I love most about the Turks is how they definitely know how to appreciate time off.

[jeannineee]

part one: exile

(satoru gojo x f!reader) — “friday, im in love” series masterlist

author’s note: if you wanna be tagged in future parts, comment below or message me!! hope you guys enjoy <3

summary: you meet with the dean, and receive bad news about the upcoming semester. afterwards, you meet with a colleague--and old flame--to discuss the news.

warnings: none, really? there will be sexual content and angst in future parts. if you don't like coffee, sorry cause reader definitely does in this series!!

An impromptu meeting with Dean Yaga meant one of two things: you were fired, or your third semester teaching forensic chemistry was on its way to being a shitshow.

As you kept your gaze trained on the golden nameplate before you; hands folded in your lap to hide their shaking, you were less than excited to find out which fate awaited you. At present, you were the poster child for what it was like to be moments from a mental breakdown. Lucky you.

Yaga, at least, seemed to be unbothered by your blatant display of worry. Eyes trained on his computer screen, clacking away at his keyboard. It had been several minutes since you entered his office, and so far, he hadn’t said a word to you. The deafening silence did little to ease your nerves.

Another sixty seconds, and you couldn’t stop yourself from nervously clearing your throat. “Sir? Why exactly did you call me to your office?”

A quick, bored glance your way, and then Yaga’s focus was back on his screen as he replied, “Ijichi turned in his letter of resignation this morning.”

You loosed a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. “Oh.”

How does this concern me? Was this worth summoning me to your office?

Questions you hadn’t the heart to ask aloud.

Yaga continued, “I know your plate is full with the semester starting next week, but I need someone to pick up the work that Ijichi is leaving behind in general chemistry. His lecture days are opposite yours, so it can fit into your schedule. You’ll be compensated fairly.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, fidget with the hem of your skirt. “That’s quite a lot of work for one person, even with the help of teaching assistants.”

“I know. Which is why you’ll have someone helping you split the work.”

Shoulders sag in relief at his words, all of your prior stress dissipating as you ask, “Who will be helping me?”

“Satoru Gojo. He teaches organic chemistry. You’ve met him, I presume?”

Understatement of the century.

You strain to maintain your politeness as you respond, “Yes, I’ve met him.”

Yaga claps, rises from his chair. “Excellent! Between the two of you, I expect no issues. You’re both intelligent; efficient. More than capable.”

You stand as well. “You know, I would actually be alright taking over the extra work by myself—“

“Nonsense. You and Satoru will work together.”

A tight-lipped smile. “Alright. Anything else, sir?”

“Yes, actually…” Yaga trails off, reaches for a paper on his desk and passes it to you. “Here is Satoru’s information. I gave him yours as well. I’m sure he’ll be contacting you soon.”

“Great.”

It was in fact, not great.

“Alright, Ms. (Y/L/N). If there’s no concerns on your part, you’re free to go.”

You swore your eyes twitched with the effort it took to preserve your composure, but luckily, your mouth took over before your brain could. “Nope, no concerns, sir. Have a great day.”

You were certain that you were now living a nightmare, as you received a text message from Satoru only minutes after arriving back in your own office.

Hey (Y/N), are you free to meet for coffee this afternoon? Wanted to map out the lectures for next week.

Part of you wanted to ignore the message entirely. Another part wanted to respond, just to say no.

Unfortunately, your fingers worked against you.

Sure, what time?

Satoru seemingly had nothing better to do than stare at his phone, as his response came seconds later:

Two, if that works for you?

You stare at the text you've typed, still debating on backtracking. Reluctantly, you send it.

That's fine. See you then.

When you arrive at the cafe, it doesn't take long to seek out Satoru. For a split second, you find yourself feeling almost grateful for the man's unique features. The white hair. the striking blue eyes.

If only to find him more quickly amidst the bustling of the space around you.

Upon your approach to the table, Satoru rises to his feet, shoots you his signature grin. The very same grin that had girls ogling over him throughout your days as a college student.

"Y/N! It's really good to see you," he begins, pulling the mahogany chair out for you. "How've you been?"

He takes his seat across from you, chin resting against his palm. Cerulean eyes meet your own, and you look away immediately, finding sudden interest in the menu laid before you.

You don't fail to notice how his expression drops as you do so.

Satoru clears his throat, an uncharacteristcally awkward gesture. "I already ordered coffee for us, if that's alright? You still like lattes, right?"

Jaw tenses, then releases in time with an exhale. You nod. "That's fine. Thank you."

The man in front of you is back to smiling, coffee arriving just as he pulls his laptop from the leather satchel beside his chair. Oddly enough, he seemed...relaxed? Content? You weren't entirely sure, but it was stark in contrast to the Satoru you dated only a few years back.

"I figured that for now, we could lay out what we want next week to look like?" Satoru questioned, waiting for your go-ahead.

You nod again. "It's syllabus week, for one. Those can be due by the following Monday. As far as lectures, we'll start with the--"

"Basics," Satoru interrupts, finishing your sentence for you. Your cheeks flush, annoyance feeding the crease between your brows as he continues, "That's smart. Scientific method, states of matters. That's the best place to begin."

There he is. That is the Satoru you know.

A forced laugh. "Hm. Well, since you seem to have it figured out already, I'll get going. I'll see you Monday morning."

Satoru's eyes follow your movements, something like disappointment in them as you rise from your chair and smooth out your skirt. "I'll Venmo you for the coffee."

"That's not necessary," Satoru says quietly, standing with you. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? We should plan a bit more--"

You sigh, turn and face him. "I would like to keep our interactions minimal, wherever possible. You have my email if you need to contact me with anything in relation to work. I'll see you Monday."

Your speech was clipped, and part of you deeply regretted it as you watched the way Satoru's face dropped as he sat back down. "That's fine," he relents. "Get home safe. See you on Monday."

You don't reply as you exit, leaving a dejected Satoru and two untouched coffees behind.

The normally short walk from the cafe to your apartment felt like hours, with your mind racing over the last few hours.

Monday was going to be hell. Of that, you were completely certain.

taglist: @mixzimi @polarbvnny @desihopelessromantic @prettymoonlightsworld @kash77 @bakananya

[missin-you-already]

Resident Evil Fic Masterlist

I've been meaning to get around to this. Gonna start posting new fics on here for the hell of it, but also gonna put drafts + the Ao3 links since that's the main place I post at.

[Rain x Alice] – Pre-Extinction (2k) – With the Desert Heat – Since the start of the end, things have not been going Alice's way. It's not that she thinks anybody else who survived has it much better. Or that there isn't a part of her that thinks she deserves it.

[J.D. & Rain + Rain x Alice] – Post-Resident Evil (2k) – Turning, Turning – Is getting a peaceful night of shuteye seriously too much to ask for?

[Bad Rain x Bad Alice] – Pre-Retribution (<1k) – I've Leave With You (Someday Soon) – Rain often finds herself thinking about the world outside the walls of Umbrella Prime.

[J.D. & Rain] – Resident Evil (>1k) – Right Between the Eyes; Over the Shoulder – All she can hear is his agonizing screams, the pleading repetition of her name as his hand slipped out of hers.

[Rain x Alice] – Retribution (3k) – Where've You Been? – It seems a lot of time has passed since that nightmarish night in the Hive, which feels like only yesterday to Rain. What the hell is going on?

[Alice & Kaplan & Rain & Matt] – Afterlife (3k) – Unexpected Reunion – After one hundred and twenty-seven days with no signs of life, Alice finally came across something of interest.

[Rain x Alice] – Post-Resident Evil (<1k) – Glad You're Here – Sleep is never something that Alice looks forward to.

[Bad Rain x Alice] – Post-The Final Chapter (>5k) – You and Her (Me?) – Rain doesn't understand Alice. She doesn't understand any of this shit.

[Rain x Alice + J.D. & Rain] – Pre-Resident Evil (>2k) – Remember Us – Rain already knew Alice's name before the whole shitshow began. Alice knew hers. Both of them were quite familiar with each other, actually. Well. More than familiar. They were close. They had something. Not that anyone would know.

[Rain x Alice] – The Final Chapter (<1k) – Before I Go – It's been nearly a decade, and I still find myself thinking of you. Maybe in another life, fate was kinder to us. Maybe things didn't start and end here for both of us.

[Good Rain x Suburban Alice + Good Rain x Alice + Good Rain & Becky & Suburban Alice + Alice & Becky] – Retribution (>5k) – For You, Anything – Rain feared that her wife and daughter had died in the midst of all this chaos. Thankfully, that's not the case. They're perfectly fine ...In fact, it seems Alice has even had the time to change her hair and clothes, find three burly guys with weapons, and grab some guns...

[Rain x Alice] – Resident Evil (1k) – Still a Chance – There is still a chance. The Red Queen wouldn't say it. She "didn't deal in chance", after all. But that didn't mean there wasn't one. Kaplan fried her, they seem to have lost the monster that killed Alice's asshole ex-boyfriend, and now they just need to get to the train and get the antivirus in time. Whether or not the antivirus would work at this point is up to debate, but overall, chances aren't looking too bad. That's what Alice keeps saying. Rain wishes she could believe her.

[Rain x Alice] – Extinction (>1k) – At the End of the World, I'll Stick By Your Side – Alice has been on her own for years now. She felt it was a necessity. That doesn't mean she isn't a little sick of it, though. More than a little.

[Rain x Alice + Good Rain x Alice + Bad Rain x Alice] – Retribution (2k) – It's Like You Never Left Me – Alice is no stranger to danger. At this point, she comes close to dying on an almost daily basis. Some brushes are closer than others; occasionally, it's less of a "close brush" because she does die. She's used to it, though. That's not the hard part anymore. "Just when I think there's no more shit left to hit the fan... you always find your way back here." It's coming back. "It's not so bad. I get to see you again."

In Progress...

[Bad Rain x Alice + Good Rain x Alice] – Post-Retribution (<500) – Content in the Downpour – It feels like a dream. Pure bliss up in the clouds. Being in Rain's arms. Having Rain in her arms. She can almost ignore how they hate each other.

[Rain x Alice] – Retribution (4k+) – Day In and Day Out – It was long ago that Rain lost hope. Spending day in and day out being forced to work for the same scumbags that started the whole mess with the virus, having to constantly look at the faces of people you've lost in the form of clones, having zero control over your body but a clear view of what you're doing... It's hell.

[Gen + Rain x Alice + Past J.D. & Rain + Past Spence x Alice] – Resident Evil, Apocalypse, post-Apocalypse (48k+) – Burning Up – Something wasn't right. If Rain had finally turned, if she was dead, then why was she still aware? Why could she see herself trying to dig her teeth into Matt's neck, desperate to tear open the flesh?

Pending drafts...

This is partially for me to get poked about finishing shit, and partially for me to actually keep track of my fic ideas because my past attempts haven't worked :^)

[Claire x Alice] – Afterlife – When those crows pop out of the plane and scare Alice before Feral!Claire jumps her, instead of that happening, Alice finds Claire mutated into an avian monstrosity that tries to attack her.

[Jill x Rain] – Retribution – Bad Rain is just OG Rain controlled by a Scarab like Jill. They both break free of the Red Queen's control and escape Umbrella Prime together (in a gay way).

[Gen] – Apocalypse – Matt and Rain and Kaplan mutate into mysterious monsters that stalk Alice in RC.

[Claire x Alice x Rain] – Extinction – Rain already joined the convoy and started dating Claire before Alice shows up. She's still into Alice, though, and Claire quickly catches on, which eventually leads to her also catching feelings for Alice.

[Rain x Alice] – Resident Evil – Time travel bullshit. So like, at the end of Apocalypse where Alice straight up dies? She wakes back up during the first film when that tank explodes, knocking her and Matt to the floor. She remembers the destruction of RC, remembers everybody dying or turning and has a chance to try and change how things end.

[Rain x Alice] – Extinction – Rain's DNA ends up being what creates the Super Undead. When Alice goes down to find Isaacs, she finds Rain imprisoned in a glass cage in a semi-zombified state.

[Bad Rain x Alice] – Retribution (kinda) – Alice gets captured by Umbrella. Rain is in charge of transporting her and they end up bonding during the long journey, resulting in Rain refusing to hand Alice over like she's meant to.

[Party Dress Rain x Alice] – Retribution – "Party Dress Rain" is the third Rain clone that didn't end up in the final cut. When she runs up on Alice and Ada, she's not a zombie, she's still alive... but infected.

[Good Rain x Alice + Good Rain & Becky] – Post-Retribution – Alice's attempt to save Becky and Rain takes a little too long. They end up separated from the strike team and miss the choppers, leaving them to get out of Kamchatka on their own.

[Rain(?) & Alice & Becky] – Retribution – Y'know that room full of racks of clones? When the Uber Licker shows up again, one of the Rain clones unknowingly gets knocked down. Without any of the memory imprints or programming Umbrella would typically give a clone, the Rain just kinda starts following them around and Alice... doesn't know what to do.

[Gen] – Resident Evil – EXTRA bad ending where the case with the virus/antivirus falls through the doors with the burning licker, and none of them make it to the doors before they seal.

[Rain x Alice] – AU – They're all motorcycle street racers and Alice is the mysterious, talented new chick who starts getting Rain all worked up and extra competitive. That's it.

[justenjoythegossip]

DO YOU STILL BELIEVE THEY ARE PR?

What about now? Do you still believe they are PR?

After last week pics that we got of Chris and Abba at Golden Globes afterparties, so many mods were asked the very same question: do you still think they are PR?

Somehow It felt like their teams were looking for some sort of validation after throwing anything they could at the fandom.

It’s probably even more true after today’s pics.

What about now? Do you still believe they are PR? LOL

They did their best selling this shitshow…

I mean they had them pick apples in trees! He kissed her chin in a car. They were playing video games. And they did laundry for Christ’s sake. (lol) WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? (Friends reference)

Sure, they had been hiding for the past years and no one ever saw them together where he lives or where he worked. No one ever saw them together where she works or where she lives. Of course, they were pics of him eating In Portugal. She was just never in sight… because they are so private.

So private that they called Backgrid on them to snap those ridiculous pics. Private couples just love to kiss in front of giant windows, where a photographer waits there to take a pic. You can even see the reflection of the flash in the window. It’s hilarious.

Good try but still more work needed…

You get points for a couple of things. They both showed their rings ostentatiously. They both looked away from the camera, which looks more natural and she took that smug smile off her face.

But if I could offer some piece of advice for next week’s papwalk, I will quote the great Jim Carrey. And as he once advised Meryl Streep: “Less is more, Meryl”.

The handholding, just give it a rest already. you need to shake things up. Couples don’t always hold each other’s hands as they walk. Sometimes she can just hold on to his arm. He might take her by the shoulder. Just think outside the box. Try something new.

Also the clench fist was back for a few moments. You need to have Chris work on that. And then, we will all believe they are a real, legitimate, loving couple! 😉

One last piece of advice though…

People have compared Chris and Abba���s situation to a train wreck, the kind you can’t look away from. However, it feels like this train accident has been going on for years. And it has. Both of them have been totally humiliated in the process.

So, the question of whether Chris and Abba are exclusively PR or not is not only redundant, it has become so tedious and pointless that there might not be anyone left to even care once the shitshow is over.

[fuck-customers]

hey gang! me again (from /post/741038774641983488, bitching about the two coworkers and the filthy deli slicer), and i guess we couldn’t go three days/two shifts without more bullshit from J1! as i write this it’s currently the morning after the shift described below. thankfully, i have the day off today, due to a prior appointment, so i might be able to wind down again before going in again tomorrow afternoon.

so before Chef C left on the hell shift prior, he asked me to be there at noon, when the first folks are showing up for their prep. good thing, too, because shortly after i arrive, before i even clock in, the head line cook (M) that showed up the same time i did informs me that he’s just gotten a text from C saying that both the sous chef S and the pantry cook J1 have called out for the day, leaving me as (currently) the only person available with any experience on pantry.

before i switched mostly to dish, this was fine, because i could rest assured that the old pantry lead (name irrelevant; no longer works there) would have as much as possible done and prepped for the next shift, even with the one day off we had between. the only time she wouldn’t is if the store was going to be closed for 3-4+ days straight and we needed to be concerned about spoilage. thus i would be left with minimal prep actually needed to be done and could just focus on the essentials.

considering this prior prep cook is the one who trained me and J1, it’d be safe to assume that she’d follow the same practices, right? well, clearly, that’s giving her too much credit, because again, i never got trained to any degree on how to make the vast majority of what gets “cooked” for pantry, and apparently she’s incapable of planning ahead even if for no other reason than to simply make her own job easier.

to make matters worse, we had just gotten a shipment, so the walk-in was packed full without any room to get around; i’d have put it away myself, but i don’t know where the vast majority of the shit goes, and i don’t want to fuck up the already tenuous inventory log situation that C constantly grouses about. i’m resultantly unable to get counts for anything we already have, so for the time being i focus on what i am able to easily access to get done, which is mostly plating desserts.

after a couple hours, a temp (E) comes in to help. there is a language barrier and she has never worked pantry before, only line, so i have to train her (through translation apps and my own rudimentary kitchen spanish) while also trying to figure out what the hell i’m doing myself. chef doesn’t get around to teaching me how to make two of the items we need until about half an hour before service starts, meaning i once again did not get a break and had to rush through making them myself, while i also try to get E set up with making sure everything she could put together was ready for service.

as you can probably imagine, this doesn’t go particularly well! E does great with the actual prep stuff, with dressing the cold cured meat dish and this that and the other, but as soon as we get to service it becomes an absolute shitshow. apparently nobody taught E on line that you need to send dishes out in the order the tickets come in, so we’re 15 tickets deep with more printing, and she’s ignoring things i specifically showed her how to make while we were slow to, instead, pull from the end of the queue to make salads that i keep having to drop what i’m doing to coach her on how to make correctly when they have a special request applied.

ultimately this results in me getting scolded by the GM/service lead to send tickets out in order, to which i just respond that “i’m trying,” and M comes to my defense when i can’t hear it to point out that i really wasn’t set up for success today, and folks kind of back off. thankfully we only end up with one extra dish (to my knowledge? something was said about extra carrot cakes but they were never brought back) and it’s just like. a half salad that E didn’t prep right so we couldn’t send it out.

insult to injury is that there were actually others present who had worked pantry before. one of the expo cooks (D) actually comes back to help J1 all the time, but because of S being absent he had to focus on expo—and he ended up leaving before dinner service without raising a finger or even pausing to ask to make sure i was going to be okay with just me and the temp. D’s got a problem habit of leaving without doing everything that needs done, anyway, which ended up resulting in J2 getting forced into overtime to pick up his and J1’s slack on that front, which is why he wasn’t there for this shift. probably ultimately for the better but i really would have appreciated the extra pair of hands.

due to the string of buffoonery that resulted in us missing no less than 3 kitchen staff and damn near everyone who knew how to do anything of substance on pantry, i wasn’t really given an opportunity to call for help. thankfully M had my back and nobody seems to have any hard feelings now that it was made clear to them that i wasn’t given room to do anything but struggle, and the GM and service staff took it pretty well when i apologized for how much of a shitshow pantry became, but i really should not have been left drowning like that in the first place.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[mikhailwrites]

Waiting for Connection 7 / Ghost x Soap NerdAU

Ghost is retired and plays milsim videogame. Soap is still in the force and sometimes plays that same videogame...

Previous chapter | AO3

Ghost accepts the invitation from John and is immediately thrown into lively banter.

“…look, all I’m saying is that having APC is all nice and fun, but not when at least one person in every team has Titan. Armour is slow and loud,” a male voice says with conviction.

“So going on foot is faster? If you need to cover a serious distance, armour is your best bet,” another voice disagrees. This one has a strong accent and a particular lilt to it. If Ghost had to guess, this bloke’s first language is Spanish.

“Oi, lads, cut it out, will ye?” Soap’s Scottish brogue is easily recognisable. The corners of Simon’s mouth twitch. “Ghost, hello, glad you could make it.”

As if he had anything better to do.

“How’s it going?” Simon says because, at this point, it would be weird not to say something when he was directly addressed.

„Oh, so you’re the Ghost!“ the first voice says with a hint of excitement. „Nice to finally meet you!“

Ghost feels his eyebrow raise. „Finally?“

„Yeah, Soap wouldn’t shut up about you, mate. Was starting to think you’re a sock puppet or something,“ the bloke laughs.

„He’s exaggerating,“ Soap interjects, with a hint of defensiveness that picks Ghost’s interest. “Anyway, that’s Roach.”

„I’m not exaggerating,“ Roach stands his ground.

„He’s really not,“ the second voice confirms.

“Och away ‘n bile yer heid!” Soap says with exasperation.

“So you introduce Roach and not me? Duly noted, Sergeant!” the man chuckles. “I’m Alejandro, by the way. And the last one without a mic is Rodolfo, or Rudy if you want; his headset broke yesterday.”

“Hey, looking forward to seeing your allegedly legendary skills,” pops up in the chat from Rudy.

“A pleasure,” Ghost says, carefully filing away any and all information. “So, are we going to play?”

“Yeah, sure, hermano. Soap said you had some sweet custom level?” Alejandro

Of course, he said that. At this point, Simon is quite interested in what exactly John shared about him. “I might. Although it’s meant for two people, five will breeze through. Especially since Soap and I know it through and through.”

He’s right, they breeze through the compound in some fifteen minutes. Ghost provides sniper support, not that it’s truly needed with the level of teamwork the rest of their fireteam has. Roach and Soap are quick and ruthless, kicking in the doors and disposing of any enemy they stumble upon. Alejandro and Rudy, on the other hand, have a much more cautious approach. It makes sense since, unlike Soap, they are not familiar with the level.

Alejandro is taking the point, relaying any information or command through gestures. They clear building after building in a very methodical manner. Something about how they move through the compound and recon the situation reminds Ghost of some guerilla warfare tactics he’s witnessed and utilised many years ago in South America.

He’s tempted to ask about their background later. Not that he’s really going to ask. It’s most probably classified, they are not on a secure channel, and he wouldn’t appreciate them poking into his past either.

Roach is SAS through and through, Ghost can easily recognise the training patterns. Moreover, it’s clear that he works closely with John. There’s a level of unspoken communication and a limited ability to predict what the other man will do the next second. That only comes after being partnered with someone for a long time and through some serious shit, Ghost knows this from experience.

They finish the mission flawlessly and decide to jump into the multiplayer for a change. It’s a shitshow, for the lack of better words. It always is; Ghost and Soap are simply too good not to wipe the opposing teams, even if they are outnumbered. And they’re not outnumbered today.

Five elite operators are enough to take on an enemy stronghold, let alone a fireteam. Some days, Ghost feels a little like a bully, though today, he’s just having fun. Banter is running rampant, replacing most tactical communication with jokes and idle chat. And still, they win.

Alright, one time it’s a close call when the opposing team plants mines on the perimeter borders, and Soap learns about them the hard way. Roach runs to him, even though it’s clear that Soap didn’t survive, and drops to his bloodied body.

“Nooooo!” Roach cries out theatrically. “You can’t die here, Sergeant! Think of your sweetheart at home, waiting for you! You’re getting married when we get back! And this is your last mission before retirement! Don’t you give up!”

Ghost feels a deep, low rumble in his chest as he starts laughing. Alejandro and Rudy join in.

“Are you sure you’re not meant for Hollywood, Roach?” Rudy asks over the chat.

They don’t get to hear the reply because bullets start flying. Honestly, Ghost is surprised it took the enemy team this long. They must’ve heard the explosion.

Even if they are one man short, they still prevail. Roach is still very much reenacting some corny film, swearing to avenge Soap as he runs into a building where the enemy is holed up. He gets shot, of course, but Ghost, with Alejandro and Rudy close behind, they manage to clean and clear the house before Roach is killed. Alejandro uses his medkit to get him up.

“Well, that was fun,” Roach says, and it’s apparent he’s smiling.

They all agree just as they agree it’s time to call it a day.

“I hope we get to play with you some more in the future, Ghost,” Alejandro says.

“Don’t see why not; it was a good game,” Ghost replies. They start to drop off the channel, Rudy first, then Alejandro and Roach, until only Ghost and Soap remain.

“Um, Ghost? Got a minute?” Soap asks, voice slightly unsteady.

“Sure,” Simon replies, dragging the mouse away from the button that would quit the online session and terminate the voice chat.

“I’m on mandatory leave starting next week, so I thought I could stop in Manchester on my way home. We could grab a pint or something.”

“Why would you think I’m from Manchester?” Ghost asks with the tiniest hint of suspicion. As far as he knows, he never told John where he lives.

“With that accent? Don’t insult me, Simon,” Soap snorts.

“Fair enough,” Ghost relents. The accent is one thing, but Simon is well aware he’s been dropping some details that could give away his location. Soap is definitely smart and sharp enough to put the pieces together. “We could meet up if you want.” Ghost tries not to sound overly thrilled even though he is. An occasional chat with locals in a pub is all nice, but to sit down with someone he could, perhaps, call a friend, someone from the military, someone who understands at least some things about Ghost that civilians can’t? That sounds real good.

“Alright, it’s a date, then,” Soap exclaims, loud and obviously pleased. “I’ll go by train. Should I book a hotel near the station?”

Ghost hums in disagreement, and before he can stop himself, he’s offering. “Waste of money. If you’re fine with a couch, you can crash at my place.”

Soap chuckles. “If I’m fine with a couch? I’m a soldier, Ghost. A couch is considered an unrivalled luxury on most days.”

 “Couch it is, then.”

[smolsleepyfox]

I found this in my drafts so enjoy my bitching about the absolute shitshow my first intercontinental flight turned into.

Travelers: smolsleepyfox + mother who doesn't speak a lot of English

The inbound journey: train to Frankfurt > flight to LA (Condor) > ~two hours transit time > flight to Honolulu (Hawaiian)

Estimated travel time: 24 hours

What actually happened: The ICE was late, of course, but we had more than enough buffer regardless. The plane was announced as 45 minutes delayed due to a delayed arrival. Okay, not fun, but doable.

We eventually started with a delay of 1h 40. Refer to the transit time stated above.

The flight itself was cool, I really liked the 3D earth model with our route showing all sorts of background info on sights we were passing. I saw Iceland and the Faroe islands for the first time, and some of Greenland, the Great Salt Lake and Nevada. (Why is the US so big and empty in the middle, it was kind of freaky??)

Anyway. We arrived with a delay of 1h 20 and hastened to get to the connection. As travellers entering the country we had to get our bags and then check them in again when we were connecting, so we did just that.

Mistake.

Because when we made it to the check-in counter of Hawaiian Airlines they told us we'd been rebooked to a different flight with an entirely different airline. At 7am the next day.

Apparently Condor thought we wouldn't make the connection and changed our booking. The very sweet lady at the counter wrote down the flight number for the new booking, and recommended we go ask our original airline to get us a hotel because by that time it was 7pm and we'd been up for about 24 hours.

Guess who does not work anymore at 7pm?

If you guessed Condor's customer service desk, you get a point. What followed should be familiar to people who watched Asterix conquers Rome. I probably spoke to everyone wearing some sort of uniform in the entire building. Turns out social anxiety is only a problem until your stress level hits the roof. And after all of that didn't even work, we got a SMS with a hotel booking and food vouchers.

Note that by that point, we'd been running around for nearly three hours and there's still no information the new flight booking even exists. We have no boarding passes, not even an email saying we got rebooked in the first place, just a hand-written flight number.

To be fair the hotel was extremely nice. There even was a pool in the courtyard - which we couldn't use because as I mentioned we'd checked in our luggage. We didn't even have a toothbrush. Regardless, half of the vouchers were spent on dinner that I thought was stupid expensive (but hey not my money!).

Next morning while waiting in line to get our boarding passes I talked to a dude from Cincinnati checking in a very friendly black Labrador Retriever. I told him I'd love to see the Great Lakes sometime and he said he has a friend who went to Germany with his athletics team and it sounded very fun. I told him we have a lot of big funky churches and he seemed to appreciate it. We also spent the other half of the vouchers on Starbucks.

We did make it to Honolulu airport. Our bags did not. The day before, they'd told us that they'd either transfer our luggage to the new airline, or they'd just put it on their flight to Honolulu that leaves the same time. We waited at the baggage claim for our flight. The conveyor belt was blocked by a large box for like ten minutes. No luggage. We have no flight number for the other Hawaiian flight and none of the screens even show that that plane exists, let alone is supposed to arrive in the span of the next two hours.

After asking five different people and my mom running off on her own, we manage to get to Hawaiian's baggage service desk and one of the crew wanders off with our receipts to take a look. He returns after 30 minutes with a cart. I didn't ask where the hell he found our stuff. He was probably a wizard.

We still don't have a confirmation we ever got rebooked.

---

This is where I left off, thinking we'd finished the Odyssey. Guess the fuck what! We had not!

We spent a lovely two weeks on O'ahu of which I was sick for most of the first (I blame the AC). Our flight back was at 7.25am.

The plan was for us to go to LA together, where I'd put my mom on a flight back (Condor again) and for me to spend two more weeks in LA. We arrived around 5am because we're German and that's the bare minimum of buffer. Online check-in somehow didn't work for the Honolulu-LA leg but did work for the LA-Frankfurt leg. So we get to the airport, try the kiosks. No luck there either. Go to the customer service counter.

The poor man took about five minutes looking between his PC and our passports before telling us he had to check something and wandering off for a solid twenty minutes. That can't be a good sign.

He returns. My mom's ticket doesn't exist.

What do you mean her ticket doesn't exist, I ask, wondering if I've lost the ability to speak English.

Apparently when Condor rebooked us on the inbound flight, they accidentally canceled both Hawaiian airlines reservations for my mom. So now we have an hour left and my mom doesn't have a ticket and a flight to catch.

Booking another ticket for this specific flight is 2800$ - even if we were willing to pay that (we were not) that is very much above my credit card's limit. The man, who clearly feels bad for us, advises me to call Condor directly.

I genuinely don't want to think about how much money I paid calling the hotline. The entire thing was a disaster - I have auditory processing disorder, it was loud as fuck in the airport and the man on the other end had an accent. At first I gave him the wrong booking number (mine instead of my mom's), then he misunderstood and thought our inbound flights were with Lufthansa so Not His Job. He eventually promised to reinstate the ticket so we should wait a few minutes and return to the check-in. At check-in the tickets did not show up, so I call them back and ask for the ticket numbers to double-check.

Having a pacing man at the airport yell into his phone in German probably fulfills some kind of stereotype.

We went outside so my mom could have a smoke break and I avoided having a meltdown with the help of a soggy Nutella bread, since I hadn't even had breakfast at that point.

At this point, we've missed our flight, meaning my ticket has lost its validity as well. Stakes are high.

The few minutes were apparently enough for the system to catch up though, because when we got back to the check in counter, a very nice lady told us that while it wasn't Hawaiian Airlines' responsibility, they offered a complementary rebooking to a later flight. They wouldn't be able to guarantee we got on if it was full, but chances were good. Very stressful 40 minutes until we were called up by a guy my age who apologized for not knowing how to pronounce our last name.

But wait - my mom had a flight to catch. The stopover time by that point had shrunken to an hour... And our plane was delayed. In all fairness, the cabin crew was lovely, they offered all passengers with connecting flights to get off the plane first, just grab our stuff and run. Which is what we did, running up to the gate and asking if boarding is still ongoing like we were being chased by the mob. This flight was also delayed and I think the stewardess was concerned for us.

But hey, at least my mom made it home. Just to put the cherry on top though, my mom's luggage arrived in Germany five days later.

My own flight from LA to Frankfurt was luckily completely unremarkable. Never again.

[a-queer-seminarian]

got an email yesterday from a Catholic priest in the Cleveland diocese about what happened at Pentecost with, you know, me interrupting Mass after my priest’s anti-queer homily…and it’s actually really lovely to have a kind response from a priest! BUT it took me a moment to ascertain his email was in good faith because he djsjsjrjekwwjnd

he. He addressed me as “Zir Avery” throughout the email fjsjajahanaam

and at first I was convinced he was mocking me / being sarcastic about neopronouns but no, he definitely thinks that’s my honorific. And that he’s being super polite. And I just —

Give it up for my man cornflake!!

Honestly i can’t say i hate it! “Zir Avery” makes me sound like a genderqueer knight. I kinda dig it 🤣

Anyway.

He wants to know if father Tim has reached out to me “in a spirit of reconciliation” (nope 🥲) and affirms that the Catholic Church has far to go in living up to its claim that we are all God’s children.

He’s clearly trained in, like, relationship-building praxis when working with these complicated hierarchy & privilege dynamics — when offering me a resource he also asked if I have any recs for him on gender identity; I appreciate that effort at mutuality. Definitely gonna recommend him Father James Martin’s work as well as a basic gender 101 resource.

Not surprised he suggests I could have brought the issue up with Father Tim outside of Mass. That would have been my preference too, if I wasn’t scared that folks there in the pews would feel alienated and hurt and never know that a future conversation took place.

But yeah, at this point in time Father Tim hasn’t really responded to the loooong email I wrote him after the fact. My mom says she’s not surprised when I set off a shitshow he has to deal with (not her exact words haha). And I get why he wouldn’t be stoked to talk to me But it’s his Literal Job as a priest to seek reconciliation so…I hope he will reach out at some point. We shall see. In the meantime I appreciate this other priest doing so. Very cool of him.

[definesanity]

Sorry for the delay in doing this, was busy trying to finish that email yesterday...still ain't done with it lol.

Hello, first I am sorry for the length of this, but these ideas have been rotting my brain for quite a while so I figured I would share them with you.

First is a Mohg reader, the reader bearing the dark gray or black skin of Mohg, along with many of his horns and his claws and wings.

The reader has taken an underground area and made it similar to Mohgwyn mausoleum, although the area is bathed in their own blood, a mutative ichor that is styled like galaxies and cosmos, that has warped and changed the environment around the looming ruins.

While I am not the biggest fan of Imposter aus, I read them when I feel the need for angst but have no interest in writing one myself, perhaps it could be a part of one where the Acolytes realize they have been mistaken when they see the Ichor bathed land and The Lord Of Blood offering their Ichor to those who remained loyal to them, anointing them as Knights of a New Dynasty.

Perhaps they could wish to use the Tsaritsa or even the Unknown God, who may be an extremist in terms of loyalty to the creator and simply allows her extremism and fanaticism to color how she handles the world she oversees, as their consort for a new dynasty of their own.

Imagine everyone's reaction to seeing Asmoday, a fan name for the Unknown God, calmly sitting down beside the Lord Of Blood as they anoint their new knights, smiling mockingly at the acolytes for their failure, their actions proving her words that mortals and immortals alike are worthless before divinity.

Outside of that, the Lord Of Blood Reader is decidedly a bit crueler than most others, but they are also a fair ruler, welcoming the suggestions and critiques of their servants and vassals.

There could also be something of a moment where a child works up the nerve to ask them to ad a sick pet or parent, everyone watches with horror as they wait for the reader to slay the child...only for them to nod at the child and accompany them. They also start training the hilibros and coaching them in who to fight and build up their own forces to make them their personal soldiers.

The Abyss finds it hilarious, and so does Asmoday, her finding that idea that 'near mindless brutes and relics of a failed kingdom' are held in a higher standing than supposedly ever devout acolytes to be endlessly amusing.

Another idea is a Miquella reader, who is teleported with the Haligtree and its inhabitants, along with the Albinaurics, to Teyvat. The acolytes try and siege the tree thinking it is keeping their creator prisoner, with the exception of the Tsaritsa who sends diplomats because she is an 'ask questions before you shoot' type of leader in my eyes.

The assault...yeah it goes to shit. Forces are slaughtered by Cleanrot Knights, Omens (I like to imagine an Au where Mohg made an alliance with Miquella and Malenia as opposed to being...well himself and wound up working to elevate Miquella to godhood to have his backing for a new dynasty that would aid in governing a world free of the Outer Gods.), Albinaurics, Revenants (May they all burn in hell), and a certain 'Blade' who basically beats the living shit out of everyone.

They flee with their tails between their legs, now significantly less in number, unaware of the shitshow that is about to be unleashed as Malenia decides to go on a very enthusiastic walk across Teyvat...just like she did through the Lands Between.

My last one, for now, came to me while I was thinking of just how big a threat the Eremites could be if they were all rallied under one leader, taught how to rebuild and use Deshret's tech, and trained in proper warfare.

So my dumbass decided to go with an AU where Lumine wakes up a bit earlier than in canon, and in the Deserts of Sumeru as opposed to off Mondstadts shores. This Lumine was once one of her people best warriors, if not their best, though given the deeds her and hers were made to perform...the title is bittersweet to her.

She winds up finding a ruin of Deshrets and become intrigued by the tech that, while primitive by her own kinds standards, is still impressive enough to warrant her spending some time studying it.

A younger Babel and her followers find her repairing many of the constructs of Deshret and using them to repair the building, with Babel asking her how she understands the technology enough to do that.

One thing leads to another and Lumine makes a deal with Babel; you help me and I'll help you. If Babel will help her to gain a powerbase and a safe haven in Teyvat, then she will help her and hers with unlocking the secrets of the Scarlet King and unifying their people.

However, one thing leads to another and Lumine soon becomes much more than an IT and HR consultant as she begins to not only aid in training the Eremits, but she even begins to teach them how to build permanent settlements of their own in addition to how to farm in the arid landscape.

Soon she is labelled by some as 'The Second Coming of The Scarlet King' and by others as 'The Star Given Queen', as she begins to work with Babel to make the Eremites into something truly dangerous out of respect for them and a desire to have some allies in her corner.

Eventually, she even winds up courting Babel and becoming something of a formal leader to the people as she rallies them to her banner, beginning to forge a kingdom of Eremite warriors, armed with Deshret's tech and her peoples training in addition to their own, within the wastes.

Eventually she leaves the land to begin searching for clues to her brother and just what happened all those years ago, leaving Babel in charge with the promise of regular check ins, teleport waypoints get abused by her so much, but not before the Akademiya provoke her into a battle.

It does not end well...for the Akademiya that is.

So what do you think? Again sorry for the length of this message, I am apparently incapable of short and sweet messages lol.

Nah, it's alright xd

Well, as I was saying:

Mohg!Reader probably knew that their downfall may have ties to the fact that they never listened to others, and merely went by the words of the Formless Mother. As such, as you said, they will keep an ear open to advice this time around as they build their Dynasty once more.

Those even cursed shall be accepted; the Formless Mother has no hold over them anymore. Yet that does not mean that their strength has faded. No, in fact, the Lord of Blood is stronger than ever. Strong enough now, to not only see the coming of their Dynasty, but to bring it forth as well.

The Dynasty of Mohgwyn.

Next, Miquella!Reader. I feel that, alongside The Tsaritsa, Nahida would also bring forth a diplomatic approach via dreams. Miquella!Reader, as even St. Trina, is well tuned with dreams, and so the two confer and agree to meet in person.

As for Malenia, Blade of Miquella; I hope Miquella!Reader can convince her not to go on her very enthusiastic walk through Teyvat. They strive for the living, and them being dead won't help xd

With you saying about Lumine, I don't think I can add anything since, well, I think it's good as is :D

But, I do hope Lumine can also find help in other people; perhaps Faruzan, well knowing of ancient machinery, and Layla, to help her knowledge of the many stars and Constellations of Teyvat. Even to people like Cyno, who she would help track down criminals, to gifting Tighnari the more rarer materials in the desert and helping Collei with her studying.

The Grand Sage does not like her? Well, tough luck. She isn't going just yet :3

Still, thanks for the post (and me eating my own words with Lumine's segment xd). You truly have quite the food for thought, my friend! :D

[cbk1000]

So Mr. Jenn called me to vent about how his boss just told him that he came back from a budgeting meeting, and code enforcement is getting pushed off on Mr. Jenn (this has been an ongoing discussion for a while; they have an actual code enforcement officer, but are wanting her to concentrate on storm drain issues). His boss essentially told him he takes on the code enforcement work (which he's not keen on) or he's fired.

He's a building inspector who also does plan review, and he's asked multiple times what the plan is for when he's too busy with that to do code enforcement, because he's one single person and cannot do all the plan review, all his scheduled inspections, and code enforcement on top of that, and has not really gotten any clear answer other than maybe his boss will have to take on some of the code enforcement work. Plus none of the budgeting actually includes training for him. He has no training in code enforcement and apparently isn't going to get any. Also, because he's not actually a code enforcement officer, he doesn't have any real authority to enforce laws the way their actual code enforcement officer does. So it's kind of a shitshow of idiocy imo anyway, but this is such a fucking stupid threat?? 'Do this one aspect of your job that you don't want to do or we'll fire you.' Ok, and then you don't have anyone doing building inspections, plan review, OR code enforcement, you dumb cunt?? Plus Mr. Jenn has kept his journeyman card up-to-date, and journeyman plumbers are in high demand right now. If they fire him, he could turn around and have a job with the union as a journeyman probably the same day, and that would be a much higher wage. (He doesn't want to go back to plumbing and would rather stay in building inspection, so he's not going to throw up his hands right now and say fuck it, but it's a really stupid thing to hold over his head because he has certifications that make him in high demand and can get a new job way faster than they can get a new building inspector.)

I don't understand how so many managers can be so consistently stupid.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 037

Vegeta vs. (yawn) Cabba.

So this is the one where Vegeta teaches Cabba to turn Super Saiyan.  There are some good points to this episode, but for my money, it fails to overcome its most critical flaw.  This is supposed to be a tournament match, but it ends up becoming a training session.  Vegeta even points this out himself when Cabba asks for the lesson.  He goes ahead and teaches him anyway, though, which I can understand, because he already knows he can’t get a decent fight out of Cabba, so he may as well use the time constructively. 

But as the viewer, I feel ripped off.  The thing is, this scenario could totally work if it were part of a card full of banger matches.  But let’s look at what we’ve seen so far.

Match 1: Goku vs. Botamo.  Goku wins when he drags Botamo to the edge and judo-throws him out of the ring.

Match 2: Goku vs. Frost. A complete mismatch.  Frost cheats to win, the decision is later reversed.

Match 3: Piccolo vs. Frost. A complete mismatch.  Frost cheats to win, the decision is later reversed.

Match 4: Piccolo vs. Frost.  A rematch after Vegeta requests Frost be reinstated.  Vegeta demands that Piccolo forfeit so he can fight Frost himself.  Piccolo agrees.

Match 5: Vegeta vs. Frost.  A complete mismatch.  Vegeta knocks Frost out of the ring with one blow.

Match 6: Vegeta vs. Auta Magetta.  A shitshow.  Vegeta float around for ten minutes dodging lava until he finally remembers he can just solve all his problems with ki blasts.  Also, insults wear down Magetta’s resolve so this was actually another mismatch. 

Match 7: Vegeta vs. Cabba.   Another complete mismatch. 

Tell me, dear reader, which of these is your favorite?  Probably Vegeta vs. Magetta, just because it wasn’t a one-sided rout.  And yeah, it’s the best fight of this saga so far, but it still isn’t very good.  It’s what Jim Ross would call “bowling shoe ugly.”  But at least Magetta made his opponent work for it, which is more than I can say for his teammates or Piccolo. 

Now, there’s still three more matches to go after this, and we do see an uptick in quality, but there’s also another mismatch in the bunch.  To put it simply: the Destroyer Invitational Tournament is a one-match show.  That sucks ass, because it’s a tournament!   There are supposed to be lots of good matches!  Maybe all of them should be good!  I mean, why is that not something to aspire to?

All right, so let’s talk about the good aspects of this episode.  The main thing Cabba brings to the table is Saiyan lore, and I’m always down for that.  This arc did help me iron out some details about the Saiyan history I wrote into Luffa.  For example, even though the U6 Saiyans are very different from the U7 Saiyans, and they seem to have very divergent histories, Cabba still uses the same fighting stance Vegeta used when he first fought Goku on Earth.  And Cabba uses the Gallick Gun, which indicates that these aren’t just things Vegeta invented himself, or even something he picked up from his royal family.  No, if Cabba has the same knowledge, then that means Vegeta’s style is based on something far, far more ancient.  And this scene led me to conclude that Luffa should know the Gallick Gun and Vegeta’s DBZ Episode 30 stance as well.  If they date back to ancient Sadala, then that knowledge would be commonplace among Saiyans, even a thousand years ago. 

Recently, I was thinking about the history of the Universe 6 Saiyans, and it occurred to me that it kind of makes sense that Cabba has never heard of the Super Saiyan form.  According to the Battle of Gods movie, the Super Saiyan God ritual was used to empower one righteous Saiyan so he could wipe out the wicked Saiyans of his era.  He failed when the form wore off.  Later, Akira Toriyama declared that this ancient Saiyan hero was named Yamoshi, and he was the first Super Saiyan, as well as the pioneer of the Super Saiyan God form.  The Super Saiyans who followed Yamoshi would arise every thousand years, and supposedly their transformation was awakened by his vengeful spirit.  I think that’s how it was supposed to go. 

So what does that have to do with Cabba?  Well, in his universe, the Saiyans are all good guys.  They don’t have tails anymore, and they don’t terrorize planets.  Instead, they hire themselves out to defend weaker planets from powerful aggressors (something else I cribbed for Luffa.)  Cabba even said that the Saiyans in Universe 6 still live on their original homeworld, Sadala. 

In that case, the conflict Yamoshi fought in Universe 7 must have turned out very differently in Universe 6.  Maybe Yamoshi’s counterpart won in that world.  He wiped out all the wicked Saiyans, and retired, never using the Super Saiyan God ritual again.   Or mabye Yamoshi’s counterpart never had to fight at all.  The Saiyans of his era were cool guys, so he never needed to become a Super Saiyan God in the first place.  Either way, there was no “vengeful spirit” to trigger the rise of Super Saiyans in Universe 6.  And without that, there was no Super Saiyan Legend.  Which means Cabba would never know about the Super Saiyan form until he saw Goku and Vegeta in this tournament. 

This kind of ties into something else this episode helped me work out for Luffa.  A big question about the Super Saiyan Legend is why none of the ancient Super Saiyans taught anyone else how to do it.  Goku taught Gohan, after all, and Trunks and Goten were so gifted that they learned it on their own.  So why was there only one Super Saiyan every thousand years?  Sure, some of them might not be inclined to share their secret, but some of them must have craved a worthy opponent.

This episode gives us an idea of the answer to that.  Cabba begs Vegeta to teach him the transformation, and Vegeta is disgusted that he would even ask such a thing from an opponent, during a fight.  So he turns Super Saiyan and whoops Cabba’s ass for a while.  Cabba tries to surrender, but Vegeta refuses to let him.  He threatens to kill Cabba, rules or no rules.  Also, he threatens to destroy Planet Sadala, and kill Cabba’s entire family. 

And that does the trick.  Cabba goes wild and seems to turn the tables on Vegeta for a bit...

But it soon becomes clear that Vegeta was just letting Cabba run loose for a while to get him acclimated to the form.  Then he tells Cabba to transform again, and he seems to have the form under control. 

The point of all of this is that it’s not exactly an easy thing to teach.  Vegeta had to resort to physical attacks and threats against Cabba’s loved ones to push him over the edge.  A Super Saiyan altruistic enough to share their knowledge with others might not be so eager to engage in that kind of cruelty.  In DBZ, Goku got Gohan to Super Saiyan, but he had to shoot at him with a Kamehameha to do it, and Goku was kind of reluctant to push it that far. 

Also, imagine using this teaching approach on a Saiyan like Turles, who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.  What loved ones can you threaten?  Which world can you destroy?  It wouldn’t awaken anything in him because he doesn’t care.  The irony is that the U6 Saiyans are a lot easier to train in this sort of thing, but they have no concept of the Super Saiyan to aim for.  Meanwhile, the U7 Saiyans had the legend but generally lacked the compassion to understand how to get to it.  And that’s why there was only one every thousand years. 

Of course, later on, Cabba will teach Caulifla how to turn into a Super Saiyan, and that’s where the whole “tingly back” thing got started.  But that’s the exception that proves the rule.   Cabba was willing to teach the form and Caulifla was eager to learn, but he still had a hard time explaining it to her, and he lacked Vegeta’s talent for inspiring righteous fury.  Caulifla understood how to get to the bottom of the matter, but she’s a rare talent.  Most Saiyans wouldn’t ask such perceptive questions. 

Anyway, back to the fight.  Vegeta turns Super Saiyan Blue to show Cabba where the road leads next.  Then he one-shots him and wins the match.

Cabba thanks Vegeta for his instruction, and tells him that he’s a lot like the Saiyan King on Planet Sadala. 

Goku is surprised that Vegeta would do all this for an opponent, and Piccolo suggests it’s because Vegeta wanted to spend some quality time with another Saiyan.  Goku points out that he’s a Saiyan, and Piccolo’s like, yeah, but he hates you, Goku. 

I mean, yeah, Goku’s Different, no doubt about that.  Vegeta can bond with Cabba in a way that he can’t with Goku.  But I think Piccolo’s got it wrong.  Vegeta has a similar desire to support Goku, I think.  I mean, they hang out a lot.  Goku doesn’t need much mentoring, and his Earthling traits probably irritate Vegeta, but who else has he got?   He’s the Prince of All Saiyans, and that includes the big orange goofballs like Goku.

So the next match is Vegeta vs. Hit, and as they prepare to face off, Vados informs Champa that she had to promise him the Hexahedron to get him to join the team.  Champa is upset to hear about this, because the Hexahedron is a vehicle of gods, capable of travel between universes.  But he had told Vados to get Hit on the team by any means necessary, so here we are. 

[hcmmersnstrings]

[ dylan o'brien, cis-male, he/him ] — whoa! DAKOTA LOVE just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for TWO YEARS, working as a/an ELECTRICIAN AND PART TIME BARTENDER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 31 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit APATHETIC and TEMPERMENTAL , but i know them to be CALM and NON-JUDGEMENTAL. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to LOWER MANHATTAN! — (binx, 30, mst, she/her, n/a)

vibes and wanted plots

Name: Dakota Love Nicknames: None Age: Thirty One Date of birth: March 21 1993 Birth place: Stearns, KY Occupation: Electrician and part time bartender Romantic/sexual orientation: heterosexual // heteroromantic

ABOUT.

Aesthetics: the cherry of a cigarette burning against a dark night sky, palm calluses, guitar string scars, smoky bar rooms, low lit rooms, steady heartbeat, tattered jeans, honey thick drawls, the pain of wasted potential, the promise that the sun will rise again

HISTORY:

tw: drugs/drug use cw, prison sentence mention, poverty

Poor boy from a poor family in a poor town, there weren't a lot of options for Dakota to succeed. His mother was a young, single mom with a string of partners that filtered in and out of his life from a young age.

One of these suitors stuck and when he was still relatively little his mother moved them across state lines to West Virginia to be with this man. He worked in the mines so he wasn't around a lot, but when he was he was a musician.

Dakota was happy to be taught different instruments, playing along while his mother harmonized. It fostered his love for the arts. But the happiness was short lived as it always was, and eventually his mother split from this man and moved them into another town.

He would be hardpressed to remember a time his mother was sober. Especially after the move she worked multiple jobs and found multiple ways to just "take the edge off". This often left Dakota to the wayside and to fend for himself.

As he got older and realized his mother was unreliable, he took up his own odd jobs to bring money back into the house, often squirreling it away where his mother couldn't find it. Eventually, he dropped out his freshman year of high school so he could work full time as a mechanic.

They eventually moved back to Kentucky and he found work and so did she and she was sober for a bit but true to the pattern it didn't last. Trailer park to trailer park or run down apartment to rundown apartment, Dakota was still a teen and like all teens you can't stop curiosity from blossoming. Girls and late nights and smoking in the back of his pick up and drinking and being places he had no business going, there was no conductor for this train and it was off the rails.

Despite his wishes for his future, he fell down the same path as his mother and it happened before he could even realize it. At first it was just teenage experimenting. Dakota is trustworthy and this much is evident in the way he interacts with people. The folks he worked with asked him to help sell and in turn he got to take home a cut and some of his own supply. It was all an escape from the reality that was his life and the shitshow that waited for him at home. Whether it was his mother being erratic or the men he brought home picking fights with him, for a little bit, he didn't have to deal with it all. And the money was good. And the excitement of being somewhere new, of doing something dangerous was even better.

A whirlwind of years and youth lost he landed himself in prison with multiple charges including arson. He'll be the first to tell you that sure, it sucked ratting out people he thought were his friends, and sure it sucked realizing it was just more of his life lost, but what really sucked? What really made him go crazy? The withdrawal. It was hell. Worse than hell. Clarity eventually came and he settled into his new life, counting down the days until his releaes.

Dakota has never been a bad kid, just an angry one. With good behavior, he was allowed to take vocational classes and classes to get his GED. He was also allowed to join an arts group and play his music or sing in the choir. All these points earned him an early release.

He had no fucking clue what to do when he got out. Sure, he had training, but no one wanted to hire him. And all the people he knew in Kentucky still had the same problems. A brief relapse, a call from an old friend he'd met years prior brought him to New York. She let him crash on her couch and watch her apartment while she traveled for work. She put him in touch with unions and eventually all these efforts landed him a new job. A new career. A new start.

He lives in Lower Manhattan, his friend spends most of her time away so she just let him take over the second bedroom and he just pays her a portion of rent that goes towards her mortgage. Dakota toes a thin line with his drug and alcohol use, never quite falling off the edge but having a habit of dipping his toe into the water and seeing how long he can hold it.

FAST FACTS:

He still sings and plays guitar, fiddle, piano, and the banjo.

Was incarcerated when he was twenty one and released when he was twenty seven. He likes to spend his time trying to catch up on all the events he missed. He has a list of movies he's currently trying to work through.

A handyman at heart, Dakota picked up a lot of skills working from such a young age. If you need something fixed, he can probably figure it out for you.

Loves to cook but cannot bake to save his life. He will not make you breakfast in bed as he would probably burn it.

Is allergic to cats but loves them.

Hasn't spoken to his mother in years.

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIEIEIE hi 💗💗

bae you should’ve HEARD the squeal i let out when you posted 😭 i like rolled around on my bed and kicked my feet for a good minute or two IM SO GLAD YOUR BACK BAEEE 💗

also bae omg im realizing how many mistakes i made on my most recent ask omg its so embarrassing 😭😭 im assuming you understood what i meant tho? 😭 IN MY DEFENSE I WAS ON THE TRAIN SO IT WAS BUMPY AND I DIDNT WANT PPL SEEING MY PHONE 🫠 like have you ever been in public and then someones looking over at your phone?? SHIT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN I SWEAR.

bae missing gojo so bad rn i turned to character ai 😓

anyway do u remember C?? yeah so i confessed and uh 🧍‍♀️he kinda just brushed it off and brought up another girl 😭 BUT GET THIS. THE OTHER GIRL IS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. like imagine you’re texting a girl who’s been your friend SINCE YOU WERE KIDS and KNOWING she has a crush on you and then you still bring up one of her closest friends relationship status. LIKE??? i’m being so fr when i say this i cried. i called my friend D in TEARS after i finished talking to C and D was just like “yo wait what happened?” and then i had to explain AND IT TURNS OUT C HAD BEEN ASKING ABOUT MY FRIEND FOR A WHILE. they danced together once at a party and apparently hes had a crush on her ever since??

okay but enough abt C,, hes an asshole and i never want to speak to him again (i still like him very much and i still need him but im tryna cope lolol) 💗 how’ve u been bae?? i hardly ever send in asks anymore so i feel like we don’t interact as often 😞 omg bae do u have any show recommendations?? i’ve been dying to watch something new lately but all the shows my friends recommend are ones i’ve seen already 😓😓

anyway bae thats all 💗 i hope you were doing well on your hiatus (even though it was short!) and i can’t wait for the next kickoff update ‼️ byebye and i love uuuu

-🦌

hiii my lovely <33 OMG you're too fucking sweet i swear you make me smile everytime i see you in my inbox. yes it's nice to be back i missed everyone lots :'') i still might take it a lil easy tho haha i realized during my hiatus i've gotta just spend less time on tumblr between my fic updates kdjfhsdkfjl

haha yes i hate when ppl look at screens. but i always used to look at people's screens during lectures in college to see what they're up to and what they're ordering on amazon HAHA i guess it's human nature to be nosey asf

omg NOOOO babe that's horrendous fuck C i'm so sorry you went through that :(( you deserve sm better than that. aww bb whatever helps you cope is valid, but i do think that maybe it's time to let C go...you confessed n did what you could, and even if he didn't like you back, he should've treated your confession w care n respect. the way he reacted is major red flag!! i'm sorry though, i know you've known him a long time, so that has to be really tough to go through :'') chin up bb, i promise you'll find better guys out there that will treat you w the care you deserve

i've been okay!! i had my last day of work on thursday which was kind of bittersweet, i cried in front of my PI LOL (he's an old german man and he's always been very sweet to me n i'm really gonna miss him aaa) i had social plans the past couple of days which was fun but i'm kind of an introvert so i spent today recharging my social batter haha.

ooo i've been watching bojack horseman recently!! i like it, it's funny and realistic, but i've heard it becomes a total shitshow (not as in it becomes a bad show, it's still a great show BUT the characters kinda stress you out)...i really like it, i've been recommending it to people! i like shows that are kind of cynical commentaries w an overlay of comedy though HAHA so if you're into that too, i'd recommend it. if you wanna watch a really good romance show, i'd recommend 'one day' on netflix!! it's like a slow burn friends to lovers, and the acting in it was phenomenal. no spoilers but i will give a heavy angst warning.

thanks bb!! yes my hiatus was good haha i appreciate you sm <33 love u tooooo darling