#anyways if you read this far have a great day! :D

[privategurlsblog]

Brat

Not intended for minors. 18+ only!

Warnings: fingering. piv. standards really!

PLOT: a cute follow up to this. can also be read as a standalone 🖤

🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤

You and Alex had been together for six months now. You saw it as a celebration, he didn't even realise.

You crossed your arms and stared up at the stage he was on, guitar at hand, half drunken smile as he looked out towards the few stragglers in attendance tonight. Of course his eyes lingered on you, but you didn't grant him the same satisfaction. You looked away the second his met you.

Instead you kept your eyes driven on the bartender. You knew him from a few years above, one of your friend's brothers. You weren't flirting, of course you weren't. He would never touch you. But that wasn't relevant, you were pleased that to Alex, it might look that way nonetheless.

You wanted him to suffer. Wanted him to realise that you were special. You were a treat in his life. The fact you've even granted him the right to swan around town hand in hand with you is a miracle in itself, even if college is over and no one really cares anymore. But lately it's been all about his band, their stupid gigs and his stupid friends and you're fed up. Since when were you just on the sidelines? Battling with a damned guitar for his attention?

After the show ended, you expected Alex to rush to your side but he didn't. In fact, he sidled up at the end of the bar with a few people hovering around him and he sunk enough pints that even you got fed up of pretending and left instead.

He was meant to come around yours tomorrow anyway, you loved Saturday mornings together basking in the warmth of the sun. Every day was like that for you now but Alex worked, yet he always reserved those mornings for you. The thought of it made you smile, even through your anger.

The next day he turned up to your house with a bunch of flowers and a sorrowful smile, going on about how he'd gotten pissed last night and he was sorry he was late. All you heard was 'blah blah blah' and bullshit excuses. He managed to nuzzle his way into your neck, heart and eventually, your bed, but your anger didn't dissipate.

Over the following few weeks, it increased by a tenfold. The band had managed some studio space, somewhere arse end of Sheffield you'd learnt not from Alex, but from Matthew when you bumped into him at the shop.

"Isn't it great? I reckon we've got a good chance at getting some songs out you know," Matthew said to you as you both browsed the aisles. He went to the beer section and you hovered behind him with a can of coke and a scowl.

"Yeah it's great," you mumbled, half arsed. You picked up a bottle of wine, planning on necking it back later with Matthew's equally as neglected girlfriend while you bitched about them all night long.

As you both checked out, you thought of ways you could get to Alex. How you could hurt him and make him feel as hard done by as you had these past few months. An idea came to your mind and you smiled to yourself, ignoring the weird look you were receiving from the cashier when your pout turned into a malicious grin.

"Oh yeah," you called after Matt and he slowed his steps, glancing back at you curiously, "tell Alex we're finished."

You bounced away with a pep in your step. The consequences of your actions seemed far removed when compared to the thrill you got at Alex panicking. Matt gawped after you, watching you practically skip down the street before rushing to his neighbours house to inform him of your words.

That night Alex rang you and you hit ignore. You were having far too much fun knocking back wine with your friends, dancing on the settees like little girls, screaming the house down to old songs. The scene distracted you from the fact that it was fleeting. Already your heart ached for the man you loved, but you were yet to recognise that yearning.

Eventually, after too much wine, too many cigarettes and enough singing to make your voice hoarse - you were drunk enough to answer one of his many calls.

"What Alex?" you slurred down the phone, ignoring the giggles of the equally juvenile girls beside you. You didn't realise they were just eager for the drama opposed to advising you the right thing. Perhaps they should've told you that you were acting like a brat - but your doubts about their intentions were drowned out from the alcohol.

"Where are you?" he answered, his voice proving his annoyance. A tone you were used to these days, a hearty reminder that you're nothing more than a nuisance to him, something that stood between him and his success.

"Lucy's. Drinking."

He sighed at your bluntness, "I'll pick you up."

You didn't argue.

The next half hour went by in a blur of giggles and slurs, eventually you heard the knock on the door and your friend informed you that Alex was here. In your drunken state, your anger had temporality evaporated and you were all over him, slinging your arms around his neck and kissing his cheeks, desperate for his attention.

You don't remember much of what was said but you do remember that he kept pushing you off with a gruff tone. But that could all wait until the morning, at least you're snuggled up by his side now, where you've wanted to be all along.

The next morning you wake up with a groan, your eyes battling with the beaming sun intent on torturing you. Your arm comes to rest on your forehead and you wince as you try to sit up only to find your body heavy and hot underneath a blue plaid duvet - Alex's, to be precise.

You look around for him, finding him sat on his desk chair though facing the bed. One leg propped on the bed frame, leant back in the chair with a notepad on his knee with his familiar messy scribbles all over and undetectable from where you were. His long hair was messy around his head, his eyes still heavy lidded with sleepiness and he was shirtless, his skinny figure taut and gleaming in the sunlight. Every muscle in your body ached and yet something sweet rattled through you at the sight of him, momentarily curing you as you offered a smile.

"What am I doing here?" you mumbled with a cracked voice, your throat still burning from the incessant, girlish screams of the night prior. You shifted yourself up, leant on your knees and cupped your throat like that would ease the pain.

Alex looked at you with a placid expression, his eyes giving absolutely nothing away. Immediately you felt the edge of his annoyance, despite his outward appearance, the vibes he was emitting gave you a clear indication of where this would go. Your smile fell.

"Yeah," he drawled, elongating his word, the anger seeping through, "what are you doing here? Thought we were broken up."

You winced. Now that he was here, his undivided attention set on you, your grand plan seemed a little, well....fucking stupid.

"You didn't have to bring me back here," your youth clouded your good intentions. Everything inside of your heart urged you to apologise, but your mind was telling you to remain stubborn, to make him suffer.

You pouted as you climbed out of the covers, finding yourself still in the clothes from the night prior. The only part missing of your outfit being the ridiculous heels you'd shoved your poor feet into. They stung as they hit the scratchy carpet of his bedroom, you refrained from showing how weak you were as you stood.

"Your mum would kill you if you came home plastered like you were," he scoffs, settling his notepad on his desk, only a mere few inches away from the bed.

"Didn't realise you gave a fuck," you sneered in return, searching the floor for your shoes. You found them in the corner, bending over to retrieve them and you smirked to yourself when you felt the heat of his gaze on your arse, still shoved into a tiny leather skirt.

"What's going on with you? You've been so fucking agitated recently," Alex kept his voice low, well aware of his parents only a few doors down. After the mishap of his mother walking in on you two, you both held caution whenever locked away in here.

"Yeah because you don't pay any bloody attention to me," you hissed.

"Are you surprised?" he raises his eyebrows, standing up as you start to claw your hair back into a ponytail. You probably looked horrendous. At least he'd seen you like this before.

"Why would I give you the time of day when you're just moody all the time? Can't get a bloody worthy conversation out of you," he rolled his eyes and you pouted even further.

"Well luckily it won't be your problem anymore," you held your head high despite the fear soaring around your body that he might just agree. Might just be fed up with your antics.

"Don't be ridiculous Y/N. We're not breaking up."

You stalled, your hair falling back onto your shoulders. The hair-tie had snapped at that exact moment, as if it was emphasising his words, making them a bigger deal than they were.

"Says who?"

"Says me," he grabbed your hand, even through his anger, he needed to feel you under his fingertips. Obsessed with your body he was, and his eager hands ran down the sides of it now, even with the frown still on his brow.

"Don't I get a say?"

"Not when you're being a brat," his sharp tongue whips your skin but you don't mind. You revel in the sound of him caring, reacting, like you've been wishing for all these weeks.

You swing your arms around his neck, too aware of the wine lingering on your breath to kiss him even if his wide eyes keep flickering to your lips nonetheless.

"But you love me."

He rolls his eyes, his grip on you tightening. Your body is pressed to his and you're still in that slutty outfit, it's natural for him to respond as he is, with his cock stiffening against your thigh and his hands unable to help but grope you.

"You know that. Do you always have to find ways to prove it?" his voice is now softer, tainted with the insecurity of your relationship failing. He rarely takes you seriously with all your moods giving him whiplash. Today, though, your reassurance matters to him.

"You forgot our six month anniversary," your voice contained a trace of disappointment that made his skin crawl. He hated letting you down, "and you would rather grind against a guitar all day than me."

Alex can't help but laugh, his face lighting up. The insides of you turn to mush and you near melt in his arms at the sound of his melody of happiness.

"People don't celebrate six months anniversaries," he counters, leaning in to kiss you but you pull back, nearly toppling over if it wasn't for the strength of his fingertips pressing into your waist, "and I love grinding on you. Far more than anything else."

You raise your eyebrows, the pout on your lips still prominent. You can feel Alex against your thigh, you can see the heat simmering beneath his gaze and you wonder briefly if this is all just to bed you.

"I'm not shagging you," you blurt out, "until you prove that you love me for more than that."

Alex refrains a whine, he knows you have a hard time portraying your feelings. He doesn't want to give you more the reason to run, when you've already tried to, albeit for the wrong reasons but still. One day you actually might and he just can't have that.

"Okay."

"Okay?" you scoff, suddenly releasing him. The lack of weight against him makes him stumble back, a little disorientated as he grips the edge of the desk and gets sent to hell from your gaze, "so you don't even wanna fuck me?"

His heart raced with annoyance, his body tensed and his fingers twitched to hold his temple like he was a forty year old divorcee with a difficult ex wife. It felt like that sometimes.

"I'm rock hard," he gestured to his crotch, the outline of it perfectly visible through those infamous plaid PJ bottoms, "of course I wanna fuck you."

"Okay," you grinned, eyes like saucers at the sight of his arousal, "well I need a shower. A toothbrush. And I'm hungry. And I'm gagging for a drink. A tea. You know the sugar helps my hangovers."

You waffled on and Alex's smile grew with every word.

"Go home. Shower. Brush your teeth. I'll take you out for breakfast."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah babe," he captured you once more, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, looking at it intently, "all yours. All day. I promise."

You believed him.

Maybe you shouldn't have. After you have breakfast and decide to go on a cute forest walk with a joint and dreams of getting dirty in more ways than one - Alex's phone incessantly buzzes.

You glance to it halfway through a story about the night prior. You're bitching, he's listening. He always does even if sometimes you notice him looking vacant, you never take it personally, that's just how Alex is.

"Who is it?" you wonder when he ends the call again.

"Just Matt," he shrugs it off, but your curious eyes don't stray from him and grow more annoyed the more he avoids them, and so eventually he sighs and lays back into the green.

"I can't help it love," he groans, "the boys are really serious about this band thing."

"I know that but you've been practicing every day Al," the hurt is evident in your tone and you hate how beared your vulnerability is, but you know it's the only way he'll listen to you. He brushes off your brattiness but he never disregards your feelings, at least not since the beginning.

"Yeah, we need to," he says, leaving you unsatisfied.

"Well maybe I was right then," you huff and stand and Alex follows you like a lost puppy, "maybe we should break up."

"I can divide the time," he promises, pulling you back towards him. You're always trying to run and he always catches you and you love him for it. You dread the day he doesn't chase you, little faith in the hope it'll never come.

Alex takes you back to his, you always end up boxed in his little room. His parents had smiled at the sight of you, enamoured by the sight of their son in love.

"You know you could always come and watch," Alex traces the curve of your nose, your features fascinating to him. Your lips are swollen and your cheeks are red, the lingering effects of having him between your thighs earlier, you look beautiful and he looks in awe of it.

"But I'll put you off," you tease, "how could you possibly focus on anything when I'm there?"

"It'll be hard," he indulges you, kissing the tip of your nose, "but I'll manage. I want you there."

The next day you find yourself sat in Jamie's garage, your legs tucked under you and a can of coke at hand as you watch them fiddle with their instruments. You'd coaxed Matt's girlfriend along so you weren't the only one here, and the boys seemed eager to please the both of you.

While they played, you kept your eyes driven to Alex's fingers. You don't know what was coming over you, whether it was because you knew what they could do, or he just moved them so perfectly over the strings that it took your mind to places it shouldn't. Either way your cheeks were heating and you were beginning to squirm.

When Alex caught your eye, he knew exactly what was going through your mind. He sang with a slight smirk, only seconds prior he wouldn't even dare look up and now he was mocking you, inspired by your obvious discomfort.

"What did you think?" Matt grinned at you both, unaware of how uncomfortable you were as you squeezed your thighs together and tried to pry your eyes away from Alex.

Who wasn't making it easy, choosing that moment to take his hoodie off, revealing a slither of his ivory skin as it lifted his shirt slightly. The conversation fizzled out in your ears like you were dunked in a pool of lust.

You crashed into the car twenty minutes later. It had been torturous, a complete blur to your wound tight like a spring body.

Alex grabbed your neck, angling himself over the mechanics in the middle, not caring for how the clutch was digging into his ribs and equally you didn't care that his nails dug into your neck as he held onto you so tightly.

His lips slid against yours with a fervour you couldn't match, you moaned into his mouth and ran your hands through his hair. His grip around your neck made you struggle to breathe but you didn't care for breath when he was breathing life into you with his kiss.

"You're so fucking fit," he says, biting your bottom lip soon after and you giggle, of course you do. You're smitten with him, he's obsessed with you.

"I want your fingers Al," you move your mouth past his cheek and next to his ear, your tongue swiping around it in a languid lick that makes him shiver.

His hand finds its place between your thighs, finding them sticky on the insides. Your panties are damp and make his breath hitch against your mouth as he presses his fingers onto you.

You gasp and he swallows it, practically laid on the mechanics now. He fumbles with the lace, pulling it to the side and licks inside your mouth as his fingers plunge into you. Your hips lift as a strangled moan leaves your throat, the heel of his hand presses against your clit, pushing you back down into the seat.

His fingers are tired from the guitar but he finds the strength to fuck you with them nonetheless, stroking the spongy spot that makes you see stars. Your hand lifts to hold the handle above your head, your neck elongating as you whine and attempt to thrash only for him to ground you again, rubbing your sensitive area.

You fall apart in a matter of minutes, your stickiness running down his hand as he halts it inside of you.

"You make better sounds when I play you than my guitar ever could," he retracts his hand with a playful grin and you giggle in turn, relaxing into the seat with all your limbs feeling like jelly.

A rap on the window pulled you from your state. You looked around with wide eyes, catching sight of Jamie with a teasing grin and eyes full of amusement.

"Get a room next time you horny bastards!" he shouts through the glass.

Alex rolls his eyes and puts the car in gear, giving him the finger as he drives away. Jamie's cackles can be heard down the street but the two of you weren't that fussed, just smiling to yourselves at how nothing had changed.

After the point where you'd been to see them, Alex's attitude towards you changed. He started to grow eager for you to be around again, constantly wanting to know your opinions on songs, asking you how certain riffs sound. You have no idea about the processes of a record but you listened to him as he waffled on.

But you just kept getting distracted. His eyes were wild, full of passion and his lips move fast in broken sentences where his thoughts were jumbled, coming out almost nonsensical. You found it so endearing and his lips even more so and you couldn't help but cut him off with a kiss.

You leant over his lap and the second he felt your lips on his, he hummed gratefully into your mouth. He didn't care for his lost words, not when your wicked tongue twined around his.

He pulled you into his lap swiftly, shuffling until his back hit the wall and you could sit on him properly, your knees pressed into the carpet at the sides of his body.

You loved how he responded to you, how hard he would get in a matter of minutes of you kissing. Before him you'd had a few boys and at their ages they hadn't exactly been hard to woo, and yet still you'd never managed to affect someone like you did Al.

You were attuned to him, knew just where to touch him. Like when you would kiss him and nibble his lower lip as he pulled away. Or when you would scratch your nails down his neck when he was fucking you, always leaving red marks that he'd have to wait for hours to fade. Or when you'd do what you're doing now, thrusting yourself so hard against him that he could feel your boobs squished between you.

He pleaded you with his eyes as he tugged the bottom of your shirt - his shirt actually - tossing it to the side. You'd stayed over the night prior and slept with no bra, and now your nipples were stiffening from the sudden change in temperature.

His eyes glazed over and his mouth went slack as he drank in the sight of you, in all your glory, with your little pout and your eager hips.

"Fuck," he muttered, "need to feel your cunt."

He's always blunt in his approach, never dressing it up romantically. His words on paper hardly matched what would leave his mouth but you didn't mind because his eyes always told you what you needed to know. Now they were telling you they were desperate for you and who were you to deny them what they wanted?

Alex shuffled slightly to edge his trackies down, his arse scratched against the carpet and it stung but he was too eager to care. Your panties were irrelevant, he merely pushed them aside until your pussy was on show and he salivated at the sight of you.

"Fuck," he repeated, his fingers teasing your swollen clit enough to have you gushing. He could see the stickiness of your arousal leaking onto his bottoms and he smirked, "always ready for me."

You huffed a laugh, your cheeks glowing as you darted a hand out to wrap around his length. It twitched in your hand, hot and heavy, standing upright like it was ready to comply to a sergeants command.

You sunk onto him with a gasp and his hand shot out to cover your mouth. He filled you all the way up, the tip prodding something that hurt deep inside but the pleasure outweighed the pain.

Your knees started to burn against the carpet as you started a steady rhythm, his quiet grunts making you work harder, faster, anything to hear more of those pretty sounds.

His eyes watched you bounce on him, how he would come out covered in your slick, how you would take him all over again, stretching to accommodate him. You were tight. Wet. Hot. His head rolled back against the wall and his lip bled as he attempted to bite back his noises.

You held steady on his shoulders, obsessed with where he would hit you inside, always right where he needed to. If you had nothing else, you'd always have this. Incredible, mind blowing sex. You weren't complaining.

Alex grew desperate and wrapped his arms around your waist, his knees pressing against your arse cheeks as he desperately fucked into you, his whole body moving, back crashing against the wall with each thrust.

His grunts echoed through your ear and made you shiver, you rested your mouth against the crook of his neck and gasped into his skin, tasting the sweat starting to form.

"I love you," he punctuated each word with a thrust and a grunt.

"I love you too Al," you gasped out, the end coming out an octave higher when you felt one of his hands slide between your body, pinching your sensitive skin until you coiled tight around him.

"M' gonna cum baby," he whispered into your hair, pressing kisses down to your ear, neck, sucking on the sensitive skin until your blood rose for him in pretty spots. He loved marking you up even if you hated it.

His arm came back around you as he delivered his final thrusts, his pace hasty, his groans louder - the pleasure clouded his mind and made him shake, hearing muffled and mouth ajar.

You licked into his mouth, the combined sensation of you filling his mouth and him filling your pussy becoming his unwinding.

His body went taut, his face moulded into an expression of raw pleasure that didn't fade for a while, making him look like he was carved out of marble. He was gorgeous and you whined softly when you felt his cum fill you.

He rocked his hips until the last of him had spilled and then his head came to rest against yours, his eyes big and round as you looked down at him, spidery lashes casting shadows over the lids of your eyes.

"I really do," his voice was gruff, you gazed at him half a world away in confusion, "love you."

"I know Al," you promised, a chaste kiss to his lips before you sat up. His hand followed your movements, he didn't want you to leave him cold and soft just yet, he liked to feel the warmth for a while longer, it was intimate, like a hug of reassurance.

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I won't."

Your mission had been accomplished. Perhaps a few weeks after you'd intended but you had him back where you wanted him nonetheless. His eyes gleamed with love, and yours mirrored. You both giggled as you leant in for a kiss and his hands softly slid up your calves. When he reached your knees, you yelped in pain and he looked at the area.

"Carpet burns," he barely suppressed the boyish smirk, "like a proper slut eh?"

You rolled your eyes, pulling yourself off of him so you could redress.

As he was pulling up his trousers and you were cleaning yourself up with the tissue box by his bed, you heard a soft knock on his bedroom door.

"Alex, honey?"

"Yeah mum," he huffed, quickly moving so he could open the door without her seeing you, still half naked, "Y/Ns just getting changed."

You raised your eyebrows, looking at the hair stuck up in every direction on his head and the flushed skin of his neck proved what you'd been up to. It's embarrassing, but inevitable. Where else are you supposed to fuck?

"Do you guys want to watch some TV? I've made you both a cuppa."

He looked around to you curiously, seeming up for it himself. The domestic scene she'd painted sounded like your dream come true. After weeks of absence, all you craved were the simple moments like those.

You nodded and he smiled.

"Sounds perfect."

She left and his attention moved back onto you. As you walked to the edge of the room in a far more presentable manner, he grabbed your waist and kissed you gently.

"I love you."

"So you keep saying," you giggled.

"And I'll say it again," he kissed your lips, "and again," your cheek, "and again," your nose, making you splutter with lovestruck laughter, hitting his chest, "and again…."

🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤🪩🖤

A/N: so soft for fetus Al, I can’t even.

[ghouldtime]

Hiii it's me again lol

Okayokay, so I just finished reading your rant on the COD fandom's unique choice of pet names, and I'm gonna be straight up and say I'm going completely off topic and INSTEAD veer off to a side thing you pointed out to give my own opinion! This is a kinda hot take so I'm just screaming into the void hoping someone shares my thoughts 🖤

Sooo we all know the Ghost comics released alongside the OG MW2. I personally haven't read it due to the TWs but I've seen enough screenshots and summaries to get the gist of what happens. HOWEVER I believe those comics are only canon to 09 Ghost and doesn't apply to reboot Ghost, and this is what I meant about it being a hot take cuz almost everyone in the fandom agrees the comics happens for both. And I can definitely see why! I mean, we didn't exactly get any concrete backstory regarding reboot Ghost, so anything goes.

Where I stand on the line, I'm a firm believer of reboot Ghost being Just A Guy™️like he had a (relatively) chill childhood but there are some things that stay the same with the comics. Like Tommy scaring him with the skeleton mask when they were children, and Simon enlisting after the 9/11 attack (not sure if those are canon, it's just what I've heard so please correct me if I'm wrong). No abusive father, no Roba, no Christmas trauma. Sure it makes him less interesting but I find it pretty amusing how the person wearing a skull print balaclava has no real reason behind wearing it other than it looking cool lmao

Anyway, yap fest over! Hope you have a wonderful day/night and remember to hydrate! 🖤

- Biscuits 🌺

SALUTATIONS it's good to see you again, I hope you're doing swell as well :D 💚💚💚

Technically, what you're saying is true!

The '09 comics pair with the '09 character and are indeed cannon for only him as far as I'm aware (someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). The reboot lacks a true significant backstory. As in, if you search it up, you basically get "he joined the SAS and is super cool and is great at doing cool soldier things and probably can do a sick backflip". What we know about the reboot is basically what we experience in game. And until we get either another game focusing on his earlier life or have confirmed scenes of it, we really don't know.

Personally, how I distinguish "Ghost" as a being is as three versions.

You have '09 Ghost. '09 Ghost is the one we experienced in the OG games and the comics. He's the dead one - and the one with the actual official backstory. Those are both cannon and are tied to him as a character.

You then have Reboot Ghost. Reboot Ghost is, as the name entails, the reboot alone. Basically, what we have of him and know of him is what we experience in game. Technically, we don't know his backstory and the full extent of his life. Is it similar to his '09 counterpart? We don't know. He's kinda the "What you see is what you get". There's some things implied with his dialog but most of his story is up for debate.

And then we have what I'm calling Fandom Ghost who is the most common variant. Fandom Ghost is neither the reboot nor the '09 version - he's a middle ground. He's what everyone is thinking of when you hear 'Ghost'. Usually how I've seen him portrayed is the reboot with the '09 backstory or some semblance of that.

(Side note: I know it's quite typical to specify when you're referring to '09 Ghost specifically because he does, of course, have a very different history and outcome. Not to mention, the dynamics with him and Soap are very different than in the reboot which is another reason why people usually clarify and go "This is who I mean")

I've never actually seen a TRUE reboot Ghost that wasn't fandom based or fanon in writing, now that I think about it. Probably because it's not that easy to write about a character in a limited sense where you don't know much about them and you have to stick to the limited material you're given.

A lot of COD operators lack a significant backstory outside of their military history. That's mainly done because they're videogame characters of a military, shooting focused game and they don't usually have the time to go into depth as to why that character is the way they are. They're primarily soldiers who are saving the world and playing their role. You might see snippets here and there but the focus isn't on their background or the inner workings of their character in a very personal way, aside from what is revealed on missions to add a natural perspective and make them see more human

Because it's not like in the middle of a life or death situation you're going to sit down and explain that you had a dog growing up, you had three sisters, your favorite drink is Baja Blast, and you have a lifelong fear of Burger King.

'09 Ghost, however, we GOT a backstory. We were given something to work with. Clinging to that or melding it with the reboot, who lacks a backstory, is what a lot do because it's trying to make use of the best source material we got until we can maybe get something else too. Personally I was a fan of that backstory because it DID add depth to him, significantly so. I liked it.

Additionally, I think a LOT of people go that route too because it's something that's quite easy to look up so they don't need to make something themselves

(This is an entire theory and me putting on my tinfoil hat: There's a lot of people in the COD fandom who are just here for the big beefy men and don't do their research, haven't played the games - they're just assuming things. And when they see the fandom Ghost, they just assume it's true, and it spreads when they write their own stories. I hope this doesn't read like I'm trying to gatekeep or 'HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW EVERYTHING' or 'you're not a true fan unless-', cause I really really really do not care. Do what makes you happy, but I'm going to avoid reading what I feel mischaracterizes him for sexual purposes alone hardcore)

I also like to imagine that maybe the team doing the reboots has enough common sense too to not entirely scrap such a backstory as hey, it IS interesting, so there's a strong possibility that reboot might share some origins. Kidding, I'm being fully delusional here and know they won't do that and will likely just ruin it and I'm hoping they don't have a chance. I know any new one they come up with -like the writing in the last campaign -would be utter carbonated hot dog water and I do not trust them at alllllll. I'm refusing to accept reboot Soap's death but that's a rant for another time

That being said though, there's technically no correct backstory yet for Reboot! Ghost aside from what we already know. Anything that adds backstory or melds anything else to him is making him fanon/fandom!Ghost (which is by far the most common iteration and the one people default too)

I love when people give him, and other COD characters, happy or somewhat not dramatic backstories. They already have enough going on with the wars they're thrown in, I live for them having a scrap of happiness and normality. I can't blame people for not wanting to write or deal with heavy backstories and it's nice to see variety and is SO super valid.

But at the same time, I also do like his OG backstory, I love seeing when people dig deeper into the gritty stuff too, exploring that side of characters because not everyone has the best life growing up. And joining the military and when they join can be telling too about their home life

Variety is the variety of life and when there's not exactly a cannon, then I love seeing people make their own reasonings and conclusions and write fanfics with their own theories. It's SO fun to explore what other people think and it really results in some of the sweetest fics that dive more into depth than the official writing team ever could hope to

The Ghost that I write are usually AU Ghosts anyhow so it allows me more flexibility in what I write. BUT if I'm writing for Ghost, I do the blend where it has more of the '09's backstory but his reboot vibes. THAT BEING SAID

I love making him just, A Dude©, still despite that. Having a bad past doesn't make him any less of a person - nor does it make him this ultra mega tough dominant edgy sigma bad boy. He's literally just a GUY. Sure, he has extensive SAS experience and training to boot. Sure, he's easily one of their top soldiers. He's a stone cold killer when he's Ghost. He's there to do the job.

But Simon? Simon's just a dude, like everyone else - they all are at the end of the day. Sure, they have their own personal struggles and do have to go through a lot, but they're still people. He goes to the grocery store and is genuinely confused about all the options of milk now (how the hell did they milk HEMP). He still makes his bed and has to fight the fitted sheet to stay on, using his size and strength to force it in place before it can do 'the thing' that all fitted sheets somehow do. He bought a bird feeder so he could watch the wildlife as he drinks his tea for breakfast. Speaking of tea, he has a whole collection! And the good shit, you know he won't settle for any less.

He's just A DUDE© at the end of the day and I love those mundane things because hell, he needs them to still feel human and to be reminded exactly what he's fighting for

I just find it so silly and ridiculous when he's consistently like "I'M Batman: I AM THE NIGHT" sheer dramatic levels of broody in stories or when he's put in as this mega dommy bad boy who is 6'5", growling constantly, and is like the posterchild for a wattpad biketok fanfic.

Lmaooo be for real, he's out here doing arts and crafts to make his masks. He has a whole paint collection and everything. He went into the craft store for paint and came out with two new hobbies and no, I'm not listening to anyone who says otherwise

[tender-rosiey]

how would modern day sukuna be like a father? :o

nerves — ryomen sukuna x f!reader

a/n: no curses au, lovelies! thank you for being so patient MWUAH and of course, merry christmas to everyone who celebrates it!

when one thinks of sukuna, one thinks of a broad muscular man covered in tattoos with a sharp jawline and an even sharper tongue punching the hell out of anyone.

you never think of the same man carrying a pink glittery bag and his own little pretty princess.

“do you have your lunch box?”

“yup!”

he quirks an eyebrow, “you sure?”

your daughter nods excitedly before looking over her dad’s shoulder. she grins when she finally sees you and excitedly calls you over, “mama! ‘morning!”

a smile instantly appears you on your face as you make your way towards your little sweetheart, “good morning, baby!”

you take her into your arms—ignoring your husband—and you kiss her cheek, “you excited for your first day of school?”

“mhm!” she gasped suddenly, “mama, look at my hair! papa made it for me!” she giggles, proudly showing off her ponytail.

you look with a knowing look and a small smile at your husband.

sukuna frowns and looks away, “it was easy anyway,” he then glares at you, “don’t make a big deal out of it.”

you giggle and pad your way towards him, resting your arm on his shoulder and gently kissing his lips, “it’s a really cute deal, though.”

you lightly bounce your daughter in your other arm, “right, d/n?”

“yeah! papa is the best!” she cheers, hugging him tightly.

your husband groans, but—nonetheless—his arms are wrapped around you two, “you two are such drama queens.”

he leans slightly, mouth near your ear as he whispers, “you better give me a proper fucking kiss when we drop the brat off.”

you gasp lightly and smack his shoulder, “watch your language!” you watch him scrunch his face—most likely about to sass you—so you press a quick kiss to your daughter’s cheek then your husband’s.

you then push them through the door with a nervous smile, “okay, bye! have a great time and don’t forget that mama loves you!”

“I love you too, mama!”

of course, you would’ve loved to accompany your daughter to school, especially on her first day, but the darn office just happened to call for you right now.

sukuna knows that, and so does your cute daughter, so there is a reason why they were both so reluctant to leave.

anyway, back to the present.

your husband’s frown is still evident as he is robbed yet again from a ‘proper’ kiss. he picks your daughter up easily and then throws her in the car.

she, as always, finds it funny and starts laughing her little butt off. sukuna rolls his eyes, and gets into the car himself.

he puts on the playlist that your daughter made herself, and finally starts the car. the ride is quiet, if you don’t count the singing and screaming of your daughter.

of course, sukuna can’t do anything about it—even if he knows that he doesn’t want her to stop in the first place.

the school isn’t that far away anyway, so they reach it in no time. your husband skilfully parks in front of the gate and takes his seatbelt off.

he doesn’t hear hurried unbuckling of a belt or nonstop squealing and fidgeting, so he looks at his daughter, “what’s up?”

she fidgets with the hem of her shirt then speaks up, softly, “I am—scared.”

he furrows his eyebrow, turning his entire body towards her, “huh? why? you were so excited with your mom earlier and you were screaming my ear off about it yesterday.”

“I know,” she murmurs then frowns, “…but what if people don’t like me?”

sukuna is stunned for a moment. he isn’t the one to normally deal with your daughter whenever she needed deep or meaningful emotional advice.

that was what you did, especially since you are able to read your daughter pretty well.

but he tries his best cause he would be damned if he isn’t the best father. his hand is placed on her head, albeit a bit roughly.

she whines, “papa, my hair!”

he takes a moment, “I…” he starts then quietens down for a second, and even then, you’re daughter is looking intently at him.

he then looks at her again, “they will love you. you’re a good kid."

your daughter’s eyes widen at her dad’s unfiltered compliment. she beams, quickly unbuckling her belt and throwing herself into his arms.

her smile is so wide it almost hurts her, but her heart feels so full because of her dad’s praise that she couldn’t care about anything other than him.

he slowly starts patting her head, “and if someone bothers you, I will just beat them up.”

“mama said no violence!” your daughter scolds and almost on cue, your face appears on the screen: you’re calling!

looks like you managed to squeeze in some time to check up on her. your daughter swiftly presses on answer and chirps, “hi mama!”

“hi baby! why are you not in school yet?” you question, eyes darting towards your husband, questioning.

“papa wanted to get some food first, so we just arrived!”

sukuna is—internally—flabbergasted. this liar. he is about to interject, but then he ponders about it for a moment: maybe she doesn’t want you to see her hesitant about the whole school thing.

maybe she wants to appear strong—with no weak points—in front of her mother. then he breathes out a chuckle, at least she takes after him in something.

“sukuna! she could’ve been late!” you huff then sigh, “good thing that you guys moved early anyway.”

your eyes then focus on your daughter, “how’re you feeling?”

“excited!”

“any nerves or anything?” you ask knowingly, but she shakes her head.

she hugs sukuna tighter, “I was a little nervous, but papa made me feel better!”

you grin, “did he now?”

he notices the teasing glint behind your eyes and looks away to avoid your gaze. your daughter giggles at her dad’s behaviour, and so do you.

and your husband has never felt more teamed up on than now. she hears the bell rings, “oh! I gotta go now!”

“bye papa!” she kisses her dad’s cheek, “bye mama!” then kisses the phone’s screen. you blow her a kiss back, and she dashes out of the car, ready to start her day.

even while walking towards the building, she turns again to her dad and waves at him happily.

sukuna nods and she grins, switching her focus back on the school. his focus is on her intently, until you speak up, “I am proud of you.”

his gaze snaps to you, expecting a teasing smirk, but instead you’re smiling warmly at him. his heart contracts in a way that makes him feel weird, and he can’t find it in him to give you a snarky reply.

he groans, “she is my daughter as much as she is yours, y’know.”

you hum, “of course, she is,” he hears rustling on the other line, so he assumes you’re checking some papers before turning to him again, “she takes after you in more ways than one.”

“yeah, I noticed,” he says quietly, and you laugh.

he notices from the corner of his eyes his daughter laughing excitedly with a bunch of others girls, and he lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.

you tap on your desk a little, “you nervous?”

“if someone hurts her, I will kill them.”

“I figured."

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[hughiecampbelle]

Supe Preference: Asking You Out

Requested: hi, idk if you write for the supes, but I will try request anyway :D how would the supes ( the boys series) ask a gn reader out? Ty - anon

A/N: I hope this is okay my love! I tried to stay true to character as much as possible, so I'm not sure how romantic some of them are. I tried writing for new Supes too, at least new for me, so apologies if it's not totally in character! Feedback is always appreciated! 💜💜💜

Homelander doesn't exactly ask you out. Rather, on live TV during an interview or event, he grabs your hand and proclaims that you're in love, that you're a couple. Whether or not you're into him, it still comes as a shock. Afterwards he'll ask you on a date where the public and paparazzi can see and take pictures. It's not as intimate as you'd like, but the date goes well. He takes you to an expensive restaurant where you've gotten rid of your suit for something classy and elegant, but he sticks with his regular attire. It's definitely not how you were expecting to be asked out or how you thought your relationship would progress. Ashley thinks it's great! You are both insanely powerful and, for selfish reasons, she wants Homelander off her back. She appreciates that you'll take some of the attention off her.

The Deep probably makes more than a few inappropriate, crude, raunchy jokes about and around you before he properly introduces himself. It's almost compulsive the way his jokes come out. He just can't help himself. He later apologizes and asks to start fresh. Would you want to go out on a date with him? When you say yes, he instantly tells you about all his ideas. You could go to the aquarium or to dinner or to the amusement park or coffee or whatever you want to do. You stick to coffee. It's pretty cute how excited he is. He wasn't expecting you to say yes, so he really didn't have it planned all the way through. He was expecting, like everyone else in his life, for you to call him stupid and move on without answering.

A-Train and you have been dating forever, but you haven't been out on a date in ages. He's still shy trying to ask you out even now. Of course you say yes, excited you'll get some time alone. You might have to reschedule once or twice because Homelander is on the rampage, but when you do get together, he takes you rollerskating. Despite how fast he is in sneakers, he's awful on wheels. He holds your hand the entire time and definitely drags you down when he falls. He stays pretty casual in his clothes and tries to keep his hood up, but it just falls down. You guys find a roller-rink in the middle of nowhere, so you're pretty safe in being discovered. You make fun of his clumsiness and check him for bruises when he falls, especially hard. He makes the same joke over and over: that he "fell" for you. You think he's an idiot, but this is by far one of your most favorite dates.

Queen Maeve asks you out over text. When you say yes, she shows up in her civilian clothes. She makes sure she isn't followed and that Homelander is distracted the entire day. She takes you to the movies. It's dark and secluded, but she knows you love movie theater popcorn specifically with all the butter and the blue raspberry slushies, and you picked the only movie not funded by or produced by Vought. It's a really terrible comedy, but you two can laugh at it anyway. Maeve even holds your hand during the movie which makes her heart beat out of her chest. Afterwards she makes you stay after to kiss you and tell you she had a really great time. It's the first time in forever where she's felt like a real person whose allowed to do real person things. She wants to get your read on it, but you're both excited for a second date.

Firecracker would ask you on a date to some fast food restaurant where you can get the best greasy food and the thickest milkshakes. She'll definitely be sported because she doesn't go incognito and ends up spending a few minutes at least taking pictures and videos for everyone who wants one. She apologizes for them, but secretly, she loves it. You don't mind. You knew what you were getting into when you said yes to the date. She tells you about her life growing up and her past with Starlight. You tell her about your own life and how you came to New York to follow your dreams. She tells you about joining The Seven and what she really thinks of Vought. It isn't the most magical date, but you're glad you said yes. It made you feel like a teenager again, getting food with your old crush, trying to play it cool when you're actually freaking out.

Soldier Boy doesn't really ask you out on a date. You two *get busy* in bed and afterwards he asks if you'd want to go to a bar. You say yes and find yourself at a local hole in the wall, a place that definitely doesn't see new faces. Most of the patrons are as old as Ben would be if he'd aged. He looks so familiar to them, but they can't figure out where he's from. An old friend? An old co-worker? Regardless, they don't pay attention to the two of you. You and Ben start trying to out drink one another and though his tolerance is astronomically higher than yours, you keep up enough to impress him. You two probably go back to bed and keep drinking, sharing stories about your lives between sweaty sheets and shared sips of whatever booze he has lying around. It's not too official, but you both kind of think of it as a date.

Bonus! Annie asks you to go bowling with her. Like in the show, she plays it off like she's not very good until you point it out to her. That's when she starts kicking your ass. She's really embarrassed and worried that you'll think she's showing off or just trying to make you feel bad, but you love it. You love her strength. You love her showing off and almost breaking the pins with the ball. You get really awful bowling alley food and beers, and it's a really fun night despite all the drama that comes with being Starlight. It's the first time in a long time she's felt normal and safe and excited to be here, excited to be herself. You're not shy about asking for a second date, though you know you're risking a lot by wanting to be with her. She makes that known before anything else.

[wwilloww]

sh. | chapter twenty two | pjm

PAIRING ot7 x reader RATING Explicit. 18+. GENRE smut. fluff. angst. nonidol au. wildnerness au. roommates au. friends to lovers. SUMMARY Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no? WC 4.8k WARNINGS AND TAGS no use of gendered pronouns to refer to reader. consensual objectification. d/s dynamic. over the panty sex (is this just called dry humping?) fucktoy-ification? teasing. orgasm denial.

AN hi :) i'm so sorry i made you wait so long for this. it's been a rollercoaster these last two years, and i hope you can forgive me for my long absence. if you enjoyed this chapter, i'd love to hear from you: what stuck out to you, what you're hoping will happen in future chapters, or just how you've been. i've missed you. and, as always, thank you for reading <3

← || series m.list || →

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: RULE BREAKER

You don’t talk or think much about your childhood. You like to imagine that when you turned eighteen those years whispered away into the ether of time, as irrelevant and dusty as the old photobook that stays on the shelf, eternally unopened. 

As a child, home was multiplied and many. It was the many places you lived, as you moved often, following your father around with his job. But it was also many in the sense that you learned at a young age that home didn’t have to be a place you lived. Home was between the worn and finger-marred pages of the books you fell in love with, home was the wisping scent of fresh (if not often burnt) pastry in your grandmother’s kitchen each time you visited, home was the place you yearned to travel to but never made the time to visit. 

But as you close the book in your hands, the words echo in your mind: 

Are you going to come home? 

You feel far away from home, even though you find a great deal of comfort in the walls of Namjoon’s mountain house. Ahem, mansion. Confusion riddles little holes of worry through you. Where is home, anyways? The small apartment you left empty in the city? The question opens a void in you. Why bother with home anyways? Sure, home could be anything if you tried hard enough, but couldn’t the opposite be true too? That if you tried hard enough, you wouldn’t need a home?

Still, void and all, the question nudges you. 

Unsettled, you clamber down the tree and make your way back towards the house. The sun has risen higher in the sky and breaks through the chill ever so slightly. Worried that you’ve just abandoned Jimin this morning and that he’ll wake up alone, you quicken your pace. You creak the door open, waving at Jungkook and Jin and Taehyung in the kitchen, who are huddled over the coffee, waiting for it to finish brewing. 

“A watched pot never boils,” you call out to them, noting that Jungkook looks a little cheerier than he had the past several days. Jin’s hand rests on Jungkook’s lower back and a little wave of joy jolts through you as the older man throws you a little smile. 

“Watching it actually makes it go faster,” Jungkook says, his eyes glued to the coffee. “A little motivation and encouragement always lends a helping hand.” 

You smile at that and continue making your way towards Jimin’s bedroom. You pass one room—a gym of sorts filled with a few cardio machines, a set of free weights, and a large mirror, and you’re surprised you didn’t notice it before—and pause. 

Namjoon is spotting Hoseok as the latter bench presses what looks like an unreasonably heavy weight. 

As you watch them, the dream from last night floods back to you. 

The music filtering through the night. The tightness of each man’s grip on you as they spun you through the ballroom, the floorboards creaking beneath you, the high of attention sitting heady in your chest. 

And too, you can’t forget, the way they stared at each other in single-minded competition, hackles raised, teeth gritted. You can’t forget the darkness that swirled at their feet, and you wonder too, if you’re letting your dream drift into the world of the living too.

But here they are, fondly smiling at one another. Had you made it all up? Well, of course you made it up. It was a regency-era dream for god's sake. But the tension? The competition? As Namjoon helps Hoseok lower the weights to the bar and hauls him to his feet, you’re sure it’s all in your head. 

“Nice, man,” Namjoon says, grinning and clasping Hoseok on the back. 

Before they see you, you continue on. Just as you’re about to open the door to the bedroom you’ve been searching for, it swings open before you. Jimin steps out. 

“Oh. You’re awake!” you say.

“I am indeed.” 

“I’m sorry I left this morning—“ 

“It’s okay,” he says, but there’s a tinge of sadness in his voice, a little dust mote of it that you catch. 

“I went to go read in a tree,” you offer quickly as an explanation, hoping it will make up for the disappointment of waking up alone after not spending a night together in a while. 

“In a tree?” 

“In a tree,” you confirm. 

He chuckles. “That seems like a good enough reason to abandon me. I gotta be honest though—“ He steps closer, lets his gaze flicker down, and toys with the hem of your shirt. “I was looking forward to waking up beside you.” 

“Were you?” you smile. 

“I was. I was even looking forward to potentially getting to wake you up.” He says it with a mischievous grin. 

“Oh? And how would you have woken me up?”

His hand drifts lower, beneath the band of your leggings. “You know, it’s really easier to show you, rather than tell you—” His hands pause. “What’s this?” Jimin sends you a knowing look. 

“What?” Your mind sputters as you struggle to come up with what he might be talking about. But he steps closer to you, a hand drifting down to your hips, a finger pulling your shirt up. With his other hand he plucks at the band of your panties. 

“This,” he emphasizes. 

“Oh.” 

You’d nearly forgotten the promise you’d made to Jimin. But now it all comes rushing back, how he’d made you promise in those early days in the house to forgo any underwear. At the time it’d been a silly dare, but the seriousness in his eyes makes you reconsider. 

“What? Do I have to remind you every day?” he says gently. “Or perhaps I haven’t been spending enough time around you, and you’ve forgotten your promise to me?”

“N-no,” you say. “I mean maybe. Maybe I want you around more.” You sidle up to him, running a finger up his chest. “Maybe… I want you to remind me.” 

Jimin steps closer to you, pressing you against the bedroom door. You gasp when he leans in close, close enough to kiss you, but doesn’t. 

“I think you forget too quickly that  I told you there’d be a punishment if you ‘forgot’ about our little rule.” 

“Oh?” You tilt your head as you look at him. “What kind of punishment?” Panties or not, it seems like you win. 

“Like I mentioned earlier, I think I’d rather show you than explain it to you. Let’s just say I’m a hands-on kind of teacher.” 

You think he’s going to kiss you, but instead he presses close, his lips a centimeter away from yours, his hands cupping your cheeks before wandering down to explore your body. You reach for him, struggle to bring his lips to yours, but he shifts his attention elsewhere, leaving you hanging. His hands rove over your body, his lips dip out of reach. So you change your plan of attack too. You let your hands wander over him. When you feel his breath quicken against you, you release him, dipping your head below his chin.

You glide your lips down Jimin’s neck, slow and intentional; a calculated move. You let your breath whisper against his skin, and you can’t help but think back to that night with Yoongi and Namjoon in which sensation—even the lightest of touches—had meant so much to you. To your body. You want to play Jimin like they played you. 

His hands tighten in your shirt, knuckles whitening. 

“Inside,” he gasps, and the desperation in his voice makes you think that he’s lost a bit of his fine-tuned control. His eyes are blown wide. He looks like he could eat you up. “Inside,” he repeats, but enacts the command himself as he pulls you through the door with him, making it sound a little more like a plea than you think he intends.

The pair of you tumble onto the bed, a mess of limbs and lips, teeth, hands. 

He captures your lips, finally, kissing you. The kiss is anything but gentle, nearing the edge of pain, his teeth knocking against yours, nipping at your lips. You groan into his mouth as his hips cant against you. 

It’s not long before he begins to tug at your clothes. 

Then he pauses, lifting your head from his lips. You’re sprawled atop him and you lift yourself up on your hands. 

“What?” you inquire curiously.

“I’m going to ask you to do something.” 

“Alright.”

With a leveled gaze, he says, “Strip.” 

He pushes you off of him, and you kneel at the foot of the bed, pausing a second, before making the executive decision to stand and undress. It’ll be more, well, graceful that way, you think. The alternative is flopping around on the sheets like a beached hammerhead shark trying to get your pants off. 

So you do as you’re told. There’s something about undressing before him, as he leans back against the headboard, watching you. There’s something about undressing for him, while he watches on, his gaze drinking you in that has sparks running through your body.

Slowly, slowly you slip off your top, and wiggle your leggings off your legs. You try to make it a little sexy, glancing up at him from time to time, to find that warm darkness swirling in his gaze that you love so much. You trip once, because you’re staring too much. 

“Keep the panties on,” he says when you go to pull them down.  

“Oh. Okay.”  Your brow furrows and you can’t help but let a little bit of the disappointment you’re feeling into your voice. You’re a little confused why he would ask you to keep them on when they were the problem that started all of this. 

He stands then, walking towards you. You hold your breath. He finally arrives before you and places his hands on your hips. His fingers toy with the trim of the panties, and goosebumps race along your skin from the delicate touch. 

“What are you going to do?” you ask, your voice breathy.

“You’ll see.” 

With that he hooks a finger under the band of your underwear and lets it snap against your skin. You cry out, more in surprise than anything else. 

“Did that hurt?” 

“No, not really.” 

“Good.” He grins. “Now, I want you to be honest.” 

“I’m always honest.” You correct yourself: “Most of the time. Most of the time I’m always honest.” 

Jimin chuckles at that. 

“Fair enough. But I need your most-of-the-time-always honesty now.” You nod, your hand drifting upward to grip his forearm. 

“Of course.” 

“I want to try something out with you. Something new.” 

“New?”

“A new kind of play.”

Your mind reels with the possibilities. What could he possibly suggest? Chastity kink? Tittyfucking? Technojizz? Ballcuzzi?  

“I want to use you like a toy,” he whispers. “I want to fuck you like a toy. I want to talk to you like a toy, treat you like one.” Your eyes widen when he says it. His eyes go wide too, drinking in your every microexpression, as he waits for you to respond. 

“A toy?” 

“Yes.”

“Where did this come from?” you say it with a little smile, and trace your finger along his jawline. He relaxes at the touch. 

“I saw the way you reacted during group play. When Jin was talking to you, saying things like, ‘You want to be our slut. You want to be our whore.’” Just hearing Jimin repeating Jin’s words sends a shiver through your body. “He didn’t say it like I would have said it, but I knew he wanted to.” He presses his lips to your ear while his hands rove over your body. “You want to be our toy, don’t you?”  

The answer is easy. “Yes.” 

“You want to be used by us, don’t you?” 

“Y-yes.” 

He chuckles. “That’s what I thought. So tell me. Tell me what you want to be.” 

“I want to be your toy.” 

“Good.” He grins. 

He lets his hand drift down to your underwear again, fingers trailing along the inside the elastic hem before plucking at them once more. He seems to like the way you flinch. 

His fingers wander down your skin. He traces your hip, before flicking his fingers beneath the hem that circles your thigh. Slowly, he creeps closer to where you want his fingers most, but before he can touch you, he pulls his fingers away. You nearly groan, and a fleeting grimace crosses your face. Jimin catches it. 

“Patience would look so pretty on you,” he says, and the sting of his words is delightful. 

“Hmph.” 

His fingers continue to explore the thin piece of fabric that separates you from total nudity. They’re not a particularly pretty pair of underwear: they’re nothing more than a tan color brief. 

You say as much to Jimin, and tell him you wish you were wearing something sexier. Lace, maybe. Something black. 

“True,” he replies. “But you know why I like these?” 

“Why?” 

“Because I can see you dripping through them.” 

You warm at the implication.   

“And when I push my cock against them, I’ll see me on them too. I’m a visual man, you know.” He kind of chuckles at that last bit, like it’s some sort of inside joke with himself. 

When he drops to his knees, like that first day in the forest with him, you gasp. Finally, finally, he’s going to touch you. 

But when his tongue presses against you through the fabric of your underwear, it’s only half the sensation you need from him. Still, it feels good, a gentle warmth spreading through your abdomen as he licks and presses against your clit and vulva. 

“You taste so good,” he murmurs against you. 

“I’m—“ 

“You’ve soaked your panties through.” 

You warm at the thought, such little stimulation getting you so ready for him. You wonder if he’ll fuck you hard and fast or if he’ll take you sweet and slow. If he’ll take his time with you. Whatever he decides to do, you know you’ll be happy to have him fill you as you currently clench and tighten around nothing. It’s an empty feeling that sifts through you. 

When he’s thoroughly soaked your underwear with his mouth, he stands and kisses you. You can taste the ghost of yourself on him, and it reminds you of the smell of first summer light hitting the ground at dawn. A space when it is neither day, nor night, but some third plane of existence. Like that, in this moment, you feel like some third kind of creature. Neither yourself entirely, nor Jimin, but some other, third thing that you could only become in his presence. You can feel the shit-eating grin that glides across his lips and presses into yours as he walks backwards, leading you back to the bed. 

There’s something different, too, about all of this, about the way he kisses you today. There’s an edge of desperation, of frustration that you can taste on him. His movements are quicker, less languid. His lids are lidded. His breath comes quicker.  It’s delightful. 

But it’s also brand new. It feels like he has let a part of himself loose from under his usual state of control, and you wonder if your most recent conversation with your friends—where you discussed emotionality and feeling—had anything to do with what he was going through. What he wanted. 

An edge of anxiety tickles at your throat as you think of it. Does he want something more? 

He seems to notice your hesitation. 

“I just want you right now,” he says, as if he’s read your mind. He stops you at the edge of the bed, turns you so that the back of your knees hit the mattress.  You’re not sure if he’s a mind reader or what. 

You fall back into the bed, Jimin leading you down gently with a hand against your back until you sink into the soft bedding. You can’t help but giggle at the gentleness. Not that you have anything against it, but in this moment you feel anything but a toy. The way he looks at you makes you feel, well, precious. 

He breaks his gaze to kiss you again, tongue pressing against your lips. 

“Open up for me,” he says. “Like a good kitten—Like a good toy.” 

You do as you’ve been told, opening your mouth and letting him swirl his tongue through you, swiping at the roof of your mouth and sending tingles down your spine. 

His hands drift down your body before slipping beneath your panties. You glow, so eager for his touch, groaning as his fingers swipe against your clit. Just once. But as if he’s just realized a mistake he’s made, he rapidly pulls his hand out. 

“Oops. Got a little caught up.” 

You pout. “What, you’re not going to touch me like that? There? At all?” 

He pulls back enough to flick his gaze between your eyes and your lips. “Be a good toy and just do what you’re told.” 

“Oh?” The bratty part of you flickers and rises up.

He silences you with a kiss, his fingers circling around your clothed entrance before trying to press in through the thin fabric of your underwear. It’s like he’s trying to finger fuck you through the wet cotton, pushing it into you with his fingers. The pressure surely is something, but it’s not even a hint of enough, and you find your hips bucking up against him, seeking more attention, seeking more pressure. 

“So needy. So desperate.” 

He continues until the yearn within you aches.

“Stop playing,” you gasp. “Just give me your cock. Want you. Want your cock. I’ll be your toy, just–just use me like one.” 

“Don’t good toys say please?” 

“Please, sir.”

He freezes above you. 

“Sir?” 

“I—I… It just slipped out!” 

He grins. “I kinda like it.” He hums, as if contemplating it, then nods. “And since you’ve asked so nicely—“  

Jimin leans back enough to begin unbuttoning his shirt. He takes his time, while the knot in your belly begins to recede. You sit up, eager to help him out of it, but he quickly swats your hands away. 

“Patience, kitten.” 

You don’t say it, but your crossed arms and pout say, “Fine, sir,”  loud and clear. He laughs at your expression. 

“Don’t you worry,” he says, tilting your chin up. “I’ve always taken care of you, haven’t I?” 

He takes his cock out, stroking it once, twice, his hand gliding expertly over the soft and sensitive skin. 

“I’m going to use you like you’re good for.”

“Like I’m good for?” You echo, desperate for him. 

“All you’re good for,” he whispers in your ear and the words send a shiver of pleasure down your spine.  

With one hand, he takes your ankles and pushes them over your head.

“Hold them.” 

He then settles between your legs, hand wrapped tightly around his cock. With a movement that seems far too familiar to him, he slaps your pussy with his hard and dripping cock, and you groan. Fuck. 

Lowering himself to you, so your thighs press into his shoulders, he finally aligns his cock with your clothed vulva. 

And then with one careful movement, he grinds against you. The simple movement is enough to make you cry out. 

“Fuck, Jimin.” 

At first it’s slow, his cock pressing against your vulva in rhythmic pulses, your clit. At one point he pulls back and presses the head of his cock to your clothed entrance and presses in. 

You whine against him, but he doesn’t acknowledge you. He simply returns to continuing his thrusts. You’re just as wet as he is hard, soaking your panties, his precome painting them too. 

“Maybe I would have woken you up like this. Wouldn’t you have liked that? Waking up to my hard cock pressing against your clit, me ready to come, just from rutting against you? Wouldn’t that make you happy, to know how good you make me feel?”

You look down to where your bodies are pressed together. His cock rhythmically pokes up, the head dark and heavy. Sometimes though, the head of his cock gets stuck on your underwear, pushing the fabric higher and tighter around you. You groan at the sight. 

“Don’t you love how good you make me feel?”  

Your hips buck together, finding a desperate, shared rhythm. Your breath, too, matches up. 

For a moment, your eyes lock. All you can think about is how damn pretty he looks when he fucks, his dark hair falling into his face, his cheeks flushed, his plush lower lip caught between his teeth. And he looks back. 

But then his eyes flicker away from yours. 

He fucks you over your panties, murmuring how good of a toy you are for him, how he wishes he could fuck you properly, fill you up.

“Please,” you gasp, desperate for more. “Fuck me.”

“When you behave,” he grunts. “I will.” Another thrust. “When you follow my rules, I will.” 

When he comes, he presses the head of his cock to your clit. You can feel it twitching against you as he groans and sighs, his come painting your panties white. 

With the head of his cock pressing so rhythmically against your clit, you’ve built up to a delicious pleasure, so close to coming. 

“Jimin, Jimin, I’m so close. Please.” Your hips tilt up, searching out the pleasure he keeps denying you. 

But Jimin just grins at you and sighs dramatically. His breath still comes a little quickly, he seems a little winded.  

“If only you hadn’t been so intent on misbehaving earlier. Maybe I could have let you come.” 

“Oh, come on,” you groan, about a second away from throwing your fists on the bed in proper tantrum form. “You’re in charge. You write the rules. Who said you can’t let me come?” 

“The rules I wrote say so, actually.” 

You huff. 

“Well then. Maybe I’ll just have to take care of it myself.” 

In a swift action, Jimin leans over you, pinning your hands above your head. Your breath leaves your lungs in a quick gasp. 

“Wha—” 

“I think you know you’re not even supposed to be thinking about that, let alone doing it.” 

You tilt your head.

Jimin laughs, a hint of playful hardness in his voice. “Don’t you remember?” You shake your head. ���You’re forgetting all of your promises today, aren’t you? Jin had you promise that you wouldn’t be coming unless it was because of one of us.” 

Your eyes widen. 

“Shit. I forgot.” 

“I know you forgot.” 

You throw your head back and groan. “But I thought you said you’d always take care of me.” 

“I did. And I do. But sometimes it’s good for you to wait a little for your reward. Today you took your punishment—” He tilts your head up so you’re looking at him and the pout that had taken over your face fades a little. “And tomorrow, I’ll give you your reward.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“Fine.”

“You think you can do that? Wait until tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.” You sigh. 

“You’re so good for me,” he says, pressing a kiss to your lips. His hands glide down to your hips, dipping beneath the band and you think, oh, maybe he’ll do it now. But your hopes are quickly dashed when he tugs on them and says, “Maybe it was a good thing I had you wear these afterall.” He shimmies your come-stained underwear down your thighs. “Easy cleanup.” 

You can’t help but laugh at that, always surprised when Jimin’s practical side pops out alongside his gregariousness. But he balls the panties up, and before tossing them into the laundry basket near the door, holds them up in his hand, shaking them, as if directing attention to them. 

 “I should remind you why I asked you to do this?” 

“I know why you asked me to. You liked the secret of it—?” You think back to what he had said to you, all those days ago, though it feels like a lifetime ago:

“I like walking around, knowing I’m the only one who has your sweetness on my tongue. I love talking to the others while getting to taste you still. Getting to remember the way you squirm underneath my touch. I do it because I want to.”

You still shiver, thinking of those words. But that had been before everyone knew about you and Jimin. 

“I did like the secret of it,” Jimin says, breaking through your reverie. “But there’s more than that, too.” 

You raise an eyebrow, prompting him to go on. 

“There’s knowing you do it for me.” 

He grins, before strutting to the bathroom. You watch his ass as he goes. Plump, you think. When he returns, he’s cleaned up and still grinning. Mulling on what he’s said—”for me”—an image of all eight of you on the living room floor arises. What are the boundaries between one person and another with this set up? What are the lines? What is owed? Your head spins, and you settle into the pillow. You’re still humming in the sensation of your dwindling pleasure, receding far away from your orgasm, and you sigh. 

“If the only way people are going to punish one another around here is by giving them blue balls, I’m going to get tired reeeeal quick,” you murmur to yourself.

“Is that so?” Jimin says from behind you as he collects your clothes. “If that’s the case, we better start coming up with new forms of punishment.” 

“Yes, maybe you should,” you say, mock-grouchily. 

“I’ll start thinking up new and innovative ways. Maybe I’ll consult Jin—he seems creative when it comes to this stuff—especially if you’re going to be so quick to forget what you promised him.” He helps you into your clothes again, but remains naked himself. 

“But—” 

“No buts.” He seals your silence with a kiss. “Just do what you’re told.” The statement stings through you like a bolt of electricity. As much as you hate to admit it, you love when he tells you what to do. Even if you love fighting against it just as much. “You know why you should do what you’re told?” He continues, as he kisses down your throat.

“Why?” 

“Because then I can reward you. I can make you come again and again until you’re crying to stop, or hold you at the edge long enough that when you’re finally ready to tip over, it’s the best fucking orgasm in your whole life.” 

You can’t help but giggle. “Are you saying you’re the best fuck of my life?” 

“No. Not yet. But I can be.” He pulls away from you enough to see the shit-eating grin on your face. 

“I think some of your friends might fight you for that position.” 

“Maybe they should.” 

“Maybe they should what?” a voice comes from the door. 

“Hoseok—” 

Hoseok stands in the doorway, a confused look on his face. You imagine what he must be seeing, a naked Jimin in bed, and you, now entirely naked, too, now that Jimin stripped you of your panties, tangled up in each other. 

“What’s going on here?” Hoseok asks. 

“Do you really want to know?” Jimin asks.

“Um. Not really.” Then his gaze focuses on you. He lingers on your face, reading you, trying to figure you out. But then he catches himself. “Uh, maybe I should come back later.” 

“No!” you say, perhaps a little too eagerly, sitting up. “What is it?” 

“I just was looking for you,” Hoseok says, a little shyly. “I was hoping to steal you away.”  

“Let me get dressed.” 

You stand up, and pull your clothes back on, noting how Hoseok’s gaze flickers to you just in time to see you pull on your leggings without any panties on underneath.  

Jimin sits up quickly, pulling a pillow over his crotch for the sake of Hoseok’s modesty. “Just so you know—if you’re going to go together—I already said that if someone was going to wear panties that someone wasn’t going to be able to come.” He turns to you. “So don’t you go running off to lover boy, thinking you can get your rocks off.” Jimin turns his attention back to Hobi. “This one is very much not allowed to come. At least for the rest of the day.” 

Hoseok coughs. 

“Oh, I, uh, I wasn’t, I wasn’t presuming.” 

“Yes you were, asshole,” Jimin laughs. “We’re all presuming.” 

Hoseok flushes red all the way to the tips of his ears at the implication, but you find it charming. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Hoseok says.

You glance at Jimin, who leans back with his hands laced behind his head. He looks like the perfect image of relaxation and… is that pride? There’s a soft smile curving at the corner of his lip, a kind of jesting smirk. 

“Go on,” Jimin says. “I’m already taken care of.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“Asshole.” 

But you stand and make your way to Hoseok nonetheless. 

“You have time?” he asks.

“I have all the time in the world.” 

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[loveswrites]

Hey bestie, how you have been? Hope is good! Anyway, i really L O V E D your poly Volturi things, i was wondering if you take requests here goes one...

Ok, listen, fem!reader x poly volturi one where the reader is in her period, like I'm in mine and reading this i was wondering how they will react like smelling the blood all the time... i will love to see the way you work on this, but just if your comfortable.

So is this, take care of yourself and hope you have a great day! (and sorry for the bad English :)

Red Sea Poly Volturi x reader

Time it took me: 4 hours along with a cupcake bake in the middle and then part of the next day which was today so i'd say 8 hours

Word count: 2884

To Coraline: Hello Lovely! I've been doing a little bit better thank you so much for asking! I loved this req seeing as I am on mine as well I felt that it was a perfect time to write it and I guess that's what pushed me to write it so quickly! But I don't think I really did what you asked for? I don't know I always just get the vibes that I don't truly listen to you guys when you req something, I always do something like it lmao. Let me know how you liked it thou! Ps. Your English was lovely!

Love <3

Poly Volturi x reader

Turning a corner you let out a long sigh. Currently you were walking around the castle just going around in circles indecisive on who you wanted to spend time with and who you wanted to ask for some.. Things.  You had woken up today to your punishment for simply being a woman. Your period. The reason you were walking around and not just lying in bed like you normally would is because this is your first time having your period in a castle full of vampires. Your period was very irregular so even though it had been a few months since your mates had found you, you’ve never bled around them before. 

You were nervous to see how they would react to it. You thought about asking Jane for some pads but then you remembered that she doesn’t have a period. And she’s probably never had one in her life to begin with. You thought about asking Felix but you felt that he would just make fun of you or tease you. Which was something you didn’t want to deal with right now. If someone teased you about something you couldn’t control you feel like you’d just snap. 

Asking Alec was just a plain no. You knew he’d just stare at you in confusion like what the hell do you mean your bleeding? With Caius you didn’t want to bother him as he was busy with trails right now with the other kings. Plus you’d have a feeling he’d want to paint with it. He has this infatuation with the way dark red blood looks. And you didn’t want him to paint a mural out of your blood for you. Though you're sure it would be gorgeous, he never disappoints you with his paintings.  

The only one that was left was Demtri. Your gentleman out of all your mates. Now you would ask him because you know he wouldn’t tease you or ask some weird request once you got what you needed but that still didn’t stop you from avoiding him also. 

So when you woke up this morning with the red sea between your legs you rushed to the bathroom and took a shower. Covering yourself in scents you’d only use if it was your last day on earth. Spraying yourself in the most expensive perfume that you could find. God do your mates love to spoil you or what? This one bottle of perfume you knew for a fact was a thousand dollars and yet they still said “It was nothing.” For once you were grateful that your room was on the far side of the castle away from all the other vampires including your mates.

You had picked this room purely based on the views that came with it. Your balcony was facing the ocean side of the castle. You could fall asleep to the sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks. And you could watch the horizon where the moon and the sun would meet everyday, each rise and set of the moon and sun was always better than the last. That was what you loved about this castle. And that was what you loved about your wing of it. It was your small piece of the fortress and no one could take that away from you. Your love’s made sure of it. 

Taking the silk sheets off your bed you did your best to scrub them clean but of course there was still a stain. You tossed them into the hamper and made a mental note to ask the maid to come get it later for you. You placed new sheets on your bed. You changed your makeshift pad that was made of tissue then you were off to pace the halls to grow some balls.  

You wore your robes that matched all the vamps that were with the volturi, hood up and all in attempts to hide your identity. 

It didn’t work. 

You were convinced that everyone in the castle knew your scent by hard because every vampire that passed, rather they were walking normally or vamping away, they would pause in their tracks and make sure to bow to you. Though it was completely unnecessary, you loved how it made you feel. The power that you hold as just a human brung so much pride to you. The 3 kings and your mates always would tell you to own it and so you did. 

You tried hiding in the shadows when you knew that someone was coming. Pushing yourself against the walls, even turning your whole body like you were just put into time out. You knew you looked like a dumbass but that wasn’t the point nor your problem right now. All you knew was that you didn’t want to face any more people than necessary. 

Finally after what felt like hours you finally made it to the receptionist desk. You were thankful that she was even there. She was always off doing something she had no business doing. You were surprised that she hadn’t gotten herself killed yet. But today you were grateful for that. 

“What can I do to help you?” She asked, putting on a voice that you could tell was supposed to be charming. It was not.

Pulling your hood off she immediately stood from her chair but quickly dropped down to bow. 

“My queen, Is there anything I can do to assist you? Master Caius is out feeding with the others. Would you like me to retrieve him?” She asked, speaking softly. 

Respect was a big thing with the kings if someone showed you any signs of disrespect you never saw or heard from them again. So it was understandable as to why she switched up so fast. 

“No, I was wondering if you had any… You know.. Tampons or pads? Anything honestly.” You said rushing it out. But still trying to keep it low.

“Oh! Don’t you have any of that stuff? They practically treat you like royalty.” She laughed with a roll of her eyes. 

That pissed you off. She’s always had a problem with you and you’ve always kept your mouth shut but today that wasn’t how you were feeling.

“Because I am. Now if you don’t like it or respect it I have no problem having this conversion with the kings. I'm sure they would love to hear about this.” You said in a stern voice, sending her a glare. Her eyes widened, you never threatened anyone, you’ve never had to. It was always done for you if it needed to be done. 

She got up and quickly left, hoping she went to get you something, anything at this point. You could feel that your makeshift pad is not working. 

“Till we hear about what, Amore mio?” You heard behind you making you jump and turn around. When you did you were faced by the three kings themselves. You found yourself sort of stung in place. Your plan was to come get some pads and I don’t know, hide until it all went away? Horrible plan but it worked in your head. This was not a part of your plan.

“Umm nothing I was justt..” You dragged out shifting your eyes between the three. 

Aro was staring at you with his wide curious eyes. Marcus looked at you with soft knowing eyes, he always knew when things were wrong with you. And caius looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Are you hiding something from us?” Caius questioned stepping closer to you. You felt your heart skip a beat. They heard it of course. 

“Caius can you go away?” You asked, covering your face with the palm of your hands.

“Why would I go away? Are you trying to run away?!” Cauis yelled out, making you frown.

“Caius..” Marcus sighed out. There was no doubt that Cauis’s biggest fear was you leaving him and him never being able to find you. It broke your heart that he felt he wasn’t truely loveable.

“I swear you're bipolar.” You said taking your hands off your face just in time to see the receptionist with a brown bag in her hand. When you saw this you grabbed it from her and ran as fast as you could. 

“I wanna be alone right now! No one bother me, pass the message along!” When you turned your head to see if they were behind you they weren't even there. Seeing this you stopped running and caught your breath leaning on a wall. You swear you need to work out more. Or hell even walk more, but what's the point when you can have Felix carry you everywhere? 

Since you were down here on this side of the castle you thought why not stop and get some snacks? So that’s what you did. Big mistake.

Walking into the kitchen you saw Demetri and Felix and immediately turned around hoping that they didn’t see you.

“Bellissima?” Dem said softly, making you turn around.

“Yes?” You said, just as softly.

“Are you alright?” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You said shifting from side to side slightly cringing.

“What’s that sme-” Before Felix could even finish his sentence you dashed out of that kitchen and you ran. You ran straight to your room and you didn’t stop for anything or anybody. Your one mission was to get to your room and stay there. 

Once you got to your room you ran straight to the bathroom and turned the shower on. You didn’t even allow yourself to think about how embarrassingly long it took you to get to this point. You never paid attention to how many people or how many vampires live in this castle until you felt like fresh bait to them. You let yourself relax feeling the hot water hit your back. You allowed it to wash away the mixed emotions you had. 

Once you got out you did your normal hygiene routine and you felt better. You felt ready to rot in a ball for the next week. Opening your bathroom door you stopped in your tracks when you saw all of your mates standing in front of you.

“Hi..?” You said after a minute passed and no words were spoken.

“Why are you acting so strange?” Alec was the first to speak.

“How could I have been acting strange? I haven't even seen you today!” You yelled out holding onto your towel tighter. 

“Yes you have, you’ve seen us both when you were cowering into the ‘shadows’.” Jane said plainly.

“You walked right past us like you didn’t even know who we were!” Alec yelled.

“Don’t yell at me!” You yelled back at him frowning.

“Why not?! If I don’t yell you might walk right past me again!”

“Just cause I walked past you doesn’t mean you can yell at me!”

“I can do whatever-” 

“Where not going to solve this yelling at her!” Dem yelled, cutting Alec off.

“Anyone wanna talk to her and not yell at her?!” He yelled looking at the rest of your mates. 

While he eyes weren’t on you you felt your eyes water and you couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face. The moment you sniffled you caught everyone's attention.

“You made her cry!” Alec yelled glaring at Demetri.

“I didn’t do a damn thing!” Dem yelled back at Alec.

That started a yelling war between Alec and Dem which only made you cry harder. It was frustrating. 

“Can someone tell me what that smell is!” Felix yelled out in his own frustration. As he had been sniffing everything like a damn dog since you’ve seen him. 

“It’s me! It’s me okay? I’m fucking bleeding I’m on my period okay?! That’s why I’ve been acting weird all day it’s embarrassing and I needed some pads but I didn’t have any and I knew that none of you did and I didn’t wanna ask so I didn’t and you guess kept popping up in places that you didn’t belong and-”

“You smell good.” Felix said, making you stop immediately.

“What?” You questioned.

“Yeah you smell sweeter but at the same time dull. It’s something I’ve never smelt before. It makes my mouth water.” Felix said, staring at you with slightly darker red eyes.

“I agree.” Cauis said, looking you up and down with greedy eyes. 

“She doesn’t smell like that to me, she smells like a softer scent of her normal self.” Dem said now looking at you with a strange expression on his face.

“She smells like something that I can’t explain but it’s pleasant.” Jane said as Alec agreed with her.

“I smell good?” You questioned with your voice cracking slightly.

“You always smell good. Are you seriously telling us that this is the reason that you’ve been avoiding us? That’s a foolish reason.” Cauis said.

“I’ll go gather some stuff you’ll need.” Jane said and before you could say anything of hell even blind she was gone. 

“I’ve read a whole book about menstrual cycles before-” Felix started.

“You can read?” Alec scoffed, dodging the book Felix threw at him in reflex.

“We're gonna take good care of you, I promise.” Felix said as he appeared at your side and settled you on your bed softly. 

“Master Caius, can you lay down? As much as I don’t like to admit it, you're her favorite to lay on when she’s in pain.” He asked, even though Cauis wanted to respond to Felix's statement he kept his mouth shut for your sake.

Cauis pulled you into him as he laid down and you felt yourself relax immediately. While you felt it they could hear it. 

“I’m in my towel this is not a reliable form of protection if you catch my drift?” You said to your mates hinting at the fact that you’d like to get dressed.

“You think I care if you bleed on me Amore mio?” Caius questioned in a dull tone as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Yes I do.” You said as a matter of fact. This sent your mates into a tumble of laughter. While you looked dumbfounded they just shook their heads.

“Sometimes I think you forget what we are.” Dem said looking at you with a soft smirk on his face.

“We eat your kind for breakfast, lunch and dinner and yet you think we are put off by a little drop of blood. That is foolish.” Cauis said, shaking his head pulling you closer to him. 

“Now relax until Jane gets back.” Felix said leaving no room for argument.

With this being said you watched as your mates took their places in your room. Alec sat in a chair that was next to your bed grabbing a book to read. Felix turned on your tv that they had installed and began flipping through the channels. And dem was busy closing all of your curtains so that the room was dark for you. You felt loved by the smallest things that they were doing. Even if it didn’t benefit you, you felt at peace with your loves just in the same place as you. 

As you close your eyes Cauis begins stroking your hair sending a small shiver down your spine due to his cold finger tips. 

“If you just let us change you you wouldn’t have to go through this pointless pain.” Cauis said, making you shake your head.

“I show one sign of pain and you already wanna kill me.” You said snuggling closer into Caius which he welcomed with open arms.

“You’d be reborn into Una versione migliore di te.” He voiced like it was nothing.

“You know that I haven’t been keeping up with my lessons with Marus!” You yelled hitting caius on his side.

“And whose fault is that?” Alec said casually flipping the page to his book he was reading. 

“Not mine actually! Because everytime I try to go to Marcus study, one of you always stops me in my tracks and leads me in a different direction!” You said pointing to each one of your mates. To which none of them could say anything because they knew that it was true.

“See.” You said smiling at the fact that there was no back talk at all. 

Some time passed and you had fallen asleep. When you woke up you felt a weight on your stomach looking down you saw that it was Jane. Her head rested on your stomach. The sun had gone completely down and it was now pitch black in your room but you felt no fear in your heart because you knew that you were safe. 

When you went to shift your legs you were placed with a reminder of why they were here in the first place. Looking down at your previously white towel you couldn’t help the words that came out of your mouth.

“Fucking hell.” You groaned, rolling your eyes.

“A little free bleeding ain’t never hurt nobody.” Felix said with a smirk that you could just feel in your soul.

“What the fuck.” You said and immediately you heard a few chuckles come from different parts of the room.

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Pink Moon in Scorpio ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Hey, was your Full Pink Moon in Scorpio great on the 24th/25th of April? It took me a couple of days to realise there was an active shedding and releasing of A FUCKTON of black magick and karmic debris from the collective of people tuned into this PAC. That shedding and releasing was by Divine Mandate, so that’s good to know hahah

After the Full Moon, have you been feeling lighter now? Brighter in the mind? Clearer about your purpose, maybe? More motivated to take the next step? Kinda ironic because Scorpio is the darkest sign of all. But hey, seeds need to break in the dark for them to grow into plants, trees, fruits and flowers, right?

This Full Pink Moon in Scorpio is really associated with rebirth, plant magick and wishing for a victorious blooming of our desires. Scorpio is also a sign associated with the underworld, death and ancestors. Did you know people born with significant Scorpio influences in their birth chart were often born shortly after some death had occurred within the family/bloodline?

Since the Full Pink Moon has passed, have you been feeling the call of your ancestors? You’ve got a huge family of great and wise ancestors you’ve never even met in this incarnation watching over your spiritual development. Each of them loves you and honour all the spiritual work you’ve done in this incarnation. The ripples of your lightwork go beyond what you can comprehend at this moment.

Listen carefully with your pretty heart~ Your ancestors and Spirit Guides are currently very active in guiding you towards your most exciting chapter yet! Stomp forward confidently, babes~!

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Let’s Go Far Away! Far From All the Dra-mama-mama~

s h e d d i n g – Queen of Pentacles Rx

You are not taking anybody else’s karma as yours anymore. You’re done. Fucking done with spiritually taking care of everybody who isn’t even aware of their bullshit karmic load. And on top of that, you’ve been known that these fuckers ain’t ever gonna be grateful anyway. So, why should you bother? You learnt the hard way, didn’t you? Now you’ve truly become a spiritual boss bitch. You ain’t vibing with Love and Light anymore—not like that, at least. You understand now that the whole ‘love and light’ consciousness has been weaponised to neutralise the power of those who can defeat EVIL consciousness.

Now, you understand people are fully responsible for their own healing; for how they react to what’s happening around them and for their own choices. Even their points of view are theirs. You’re not participating in anybody else’s drama anymore. No amount of empathy will ever make you stupid again. That was your decision quite a long time ago and now that resolve has become SOLIDIFIED. Welcome back, spiritual gangster. You’re YOU again~ Now, we watch you quantum jump into your greatest abundance Reality yet!

t r a n s f o r m i n g – 9 of Pentacles Rx

I feel like you’ve been in isolation of sort for quite a while, right? Or at least, there’s a clear indication that you’ve not been in communication with too many people. Your ancestors gave you that push to be alone and to clear your aenergetic field from a lifetime’s worth of bullshit you’d absorbed from other people. During this time, you were shielded from further psychological attacks from your environment. But at the same time, you were also being given clear guidance about your next steps.

Your visions and daydreams are not random, so this Full Pink Moon is giving you more reasons to believe all of your gut feelings about your place in the world—about what you’re put on Earth to pursue and manifest. When you’re excited, make sure you share your good news with ONLY those you feel are vibrationally safe to share with. People you know won’t have any business being envious of your progress. Otherwise, keep moving on in silence, dear ghost~ You’re about to become reborn into real riches!

g l o w u p, BITCH – 6 of Wands Rx

The whole aenergy of this Pile is abundance and material riches. I’m being told, you’re building a massive Empire that’s based on real spirituality. An empire that will serve a great number of people and how that contributes to not only your material security but also to the prosperity of all involved with your projects/spiritual work in the future. With that said, your success is needed by the world! You’d better believe there’s no force on Earth strong enough to mess this up.

Your ancestors, in fact, have been setting you up for this success for literally aeons. Even from the aethers they’re still very much actively making this happen. It’s a family project, babe~ You’ve got important codes stored in your DNA—you bloodline is special. One way or another this will continue to get revealed to you through various means your ancestors can think of ;P Your physical beauty, physical prosperity, physical safety and everything is quantum jumping into a much higher octave of Reality.

You’ve set up the foundation well. You’ve sacrificed a lot with so little guidance. Congrats again, welcome Home to 5D Consciosuness~!

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Hello? Ordering From Future Express~

s h e d d i n g – Page of Pentacles

You’ve been in the process of learning (or preparing) for a big change in your Life. This Full Pink Moon, if anything, is just indicating that you’re ready to mingle in the higher level of whatever you’re graduating from. Rather than becoming a student, you’re becoming an actual employee, worker, or expert at this thing you’ve been studying/preparing for. You have a lot of knowledge that’s ready to be shared by those who can benefit from your work. So, congrats~!

Of all the Piles, I sense your journey thus far has been pretty much lighthearted. It isn’t to say some traumatic things haven’t happened, but no matter your age, you’re such a wise optimist. You’re the type that can always say, ‘Oh well, I did learn and gain valuable lessons from it.’ You have an awareness of your surrounding and the events that visit your everyday Life, so you’re not often bothered to the degree some of the other Piles are XD

t r a n s f o r m i n g – Knight of Cups Rx

I sense that many of you reading this have been in the active process of manifesting a new kind of Reality. You’ve daydreamed and fantasised a lot—too much, sometimes LOL But I’m getting that your heart is literally constantly pulled in that direction because you’re literally that close to manifesting this Reality. Of course, when we say ‘close’, some of you may wonder how that’s even possible because you don’t feel like you’ve done a lot.

But I’m being told that your manifestation is heavily ‘water based’, meaning it is highly based on the emotions produced during your daydreaming~ As long as you maintain the feeling, the optimism, the feel-good vibes from those daydreams, you’re GUARANTEED to get every single thing you’ve envisioned for yourself. I betcha you have significant Water sign placements or planets in Water Houses in your natal chart :D

g l o w u p, BITCH – 5 of Cups

I know that recently you feel like you’ve lost something important. Although you’re positive and optimistic, it’s only natural that people can still dwell in the negative emotions caused by the shock of any kind of loss. You can take your time. But also know that this Full Pink Moon is promising you a way to rebuild or rediscover in another form what you’ve lost. What’s been lost or broken will be renewed and you will be a lot happier.

By this, the general message is that you have so much good fortune and success in the future. It’s almost like, your daydreams have been ordered from the future express and delivered to your doorstep as feel-good thought-forms. For now, they may be only thought-forms, but you’re being directed to the right place, so don’t lose sight of those visions, OK? For the most part, I think most of you already know this—you just needed some kind of a validation ^o^v

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Calm in the World, Lucky Girl~

s h e d d i n g – 7 of Swords

Ooohhh my lucky guuurl~ You’re the lucky Pile, but actually, you’ve worked really hard to increase your luck quotient in this world! Of all the Piles, you’ve transmuted a lot of karmic bullshit in your bloodline—things like toxic mindsets which were passed down by your elders. I think you’ve worked the hardest to transform yourself whilst carrying generational bullshit which you vowed would stop with you, because you wouldn’t want these mindsets or ways of living to be passed down to the next generations.

And in your case, I get that you’re not just thinking about your own bloodline; you’re also thinking about stopping these toxic ways of living and being for all people belonging to your generation and the next. You’re thinking global—you’re thinking cosmic. This Pile is definitely for those of you who identify as being a witch or a mystic or something similar in nature. You are now shedding ugliness. All the ugliness in the ways you were brought up.

t r a n s f o r m i n g – 9 of Cups

No matter when you come across this reading, within just a couple months your abundance level is going to visibly get better. This sense of abundance is going to be real—not just a mindset thing—it’s going to be physical. You’ve been working so hard for so long on the mental and spiritual level, and in many cases, you might’ve felt like your spiritual work hasn’t produced anything tangible at all. And this could’ve often dimmed your light and made you cry, because it felt like your struggles were never going to end.

You were going in circles, but babe, you were always spiralling up out of that hell that was created for you. I think you just didn’t realise that. The path was never straight; it was a spiral in which you were spiralling and meeting old wounds and healing them, but the whole time, you were spiralling UP! Okay? The exit is close. Dang, many of you tuning into this are already out! The real physical abundance is following along tightly. Look forward to this year’s Lion’s Gate, Wise Ones~! You’ll be surprised! <3

g l o w u p, BITCH – 10 of Wands

In the deck I’m using, 10 of Wands depicts an array of soldiers who’ve just finished warring. They’re back home now, exhausted, traumatised, needing a lot of care and ease after a long battle, and are probably still in a war mindset after being in it for quite some time, right? But the important thing is that they’re home; that the war is OVER. It is OVER. It’s peacetime now. You’ve just got to celebrate all you’ve done for your country (yourself) and relish in a good bowl of soup to soothe your aching heart.

Recuperation and relaxation are crucial for you right now. You need all the TLC you could give to yourself, so in that sense, if there’s somebody who could be of some assistance to you, don’t hesitate to ask for help so your Life can be a little easier. For the time being, you need to be taken care of. Sooner than later, you will be jumping into a different kind of an exciting bandwagon straight to your Destiny~ Then, you can help others~!

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[stormxpadme]

There's a bit of fanfiction negativity in the tags :(. Looking for something to cheer me up, what's your personal scogan fanfic favorites?

Yeah, I saw that, both in the scogan and scogean tag, with posts even including the character name tags. Like. Not cool, people. Way to make authors feel shitty who have been guarding the ship lighthouse for the last 20 years. Claiming in the most popular tags, there's only like 1 good fic among more than 1500? Wow, okay. So I was very happy to receive your ask. Let's counter that negativity with some awesome scogan reads!

Damaged by scottxlogan

Can't do any scogan rec list without including the leading authority on the subject. @scottxlogan is the author who pulled me into this ship years ago, not to mention they're a great friend, unbelievably talented writer and artist, and they deserve all the love. Damaged is surely one of their most ambitious projects and deserves every single view, kudos and review out there. Set in the DOFP finale verse that is no doubt the author's specialty, the story comes with an alluring, intricated plot that leaves you on the edge of your seat along with all the feels.

Submission by scottxlogan

I'm also including a newer work by the same author in case you just want to get a feel for how wonderfully she writes these guys, not to mention the shameless steamy goodness that are the author's smut scenes. scottxlogan is an expert at reversing common fandom tropes believably, and this will leave you longing for more of these power exchanges easily.

he carries the reminders by Wolfsheart

@mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea is another great friend and author I would trust even with my biggest squicks (not that she writes those anyway :D). She's not only technically brillant and very well-versed in the lore which makes every pairing she writes a great read (check out her Tony/Emma, too!), but she'll also never fail to make you laugh or put those hearts in your eyes. And don't miss all those pop culture references that even put Peter Parker to shame! She also gives us scogan fans exactly what we need with stories like this one, combining our fav hurt/comfort tropes with a healthy dose of canon fix it.

I loved you since I knew you by strangenewwords

@strangenewwords is a fairly new and dearly beloved addition to our group at @scoganbingo events, but she's already made a huge impact with her delicious smut and angst stories that hit you right in the feels. Technically also brillant, the linked story is definitely one you don't want to get spoilered for beforehand because the ending will leave you in absolute awe and tears. The author doesn't shy away from including the darkest sides of Scott's past but handles every subject with the necessary care and respect, and as I said ... You don't want to miss out on all that delicious smut!

The Day Before the Soldiers Came by Cerylid

Cery is offering a much-needed fixit for the team dynamics between the X-Men and Logan before X2 with this story. It comes with a lot of humor but also far more feels than you expect. The texting is hilarious but it's the quiet tones that get to you.

*****

Speaking of fix-its, since that negativity in the tags kinda got to me, too, I might just throw in one of my own works here too since I also got lots of Scogan stuff out there.

My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

is basically my go-to X3 fix-it. You look for something to make that movie right, you got it all right there. Along with a bit of horror (we are talking about resurrection, after all) comes a dramatic rescue mission in a mental limbo, and you get an Avenger and Emma Frost guest-starring. There's a couple of follow up chapters that explore both scogan and Tony/Emma a bit further, and we even get a Laura version in old movieverse along the line, and of course all the nasty nasty smut you guys are here for.

########

So, that's it from the top of my hat. All these accounts have even more great stories to check out, and there's lots of other scogan authors out there with great stories to enjoy. So don't let anyone tell you, there's no quality scogan stuff on AO3.

[canmom]

Hello! I absolutely love your blog, everything from your festival recounts to animation analysis and programming (one of tumblr's recommended posts was the one where you made your own rasteriser, and I liked your attitude in what I've read so much that I'm gonna attempt to conquer my 3-year-long grudge against using opengl during college and do something similar now that I'm a bit older and have no deadlines :D).

But anyway, I have 2 questions (sorry if there's easily accessible answers, tumblr search is not helping): 1. During your animation nights, does the screen stay black while everyone watches their own video while you provide commentary? I haven't caught any yet but maybe someday! And 2. do you have any youtube channels or just one-off video essays that you like that also cover animation/directors? Or, even programming lol.

Sorry for the long ask have a nice day!

hiii! i'm very touched that you like my dorky eclectic blog <3

For the Animation Nights, I just stream the video over Twitch from local sources on my computer, typically by playing the video in mpv and recording it in OBS. This is obviously not ideal from a video quality perspective, but it's the easiest way to watch video in sync without making everyone download files in advance. Then we all chat in the Twitch chat box (in large part to crack stupid jokes, it's not that highbrow lmao). I've gotten away with it so far!

As for youtube channels, I can recommend...

anime production/history (i.e. sakuga fandom)

SteveM is likely the most sakuga-fan affiliated anituber. He makes long, well-researched and in-depth videos on anime history, usually themed around a particular director or studio.

Pyramid Inu might be my fave anituber - very thoughtful analysis of Gundam, obscure mecha anime and oldschool BL and similar topics. tremendously soothing voice too.

The Canipa Effect does excellent deep dives into the production of specific shows, both western and anime. I appreciate the respect he gives to the Korean animators of shows like AtlA in particular!

Sean Bires's 2013 presentation on sakuga is pretty foundational to this whole subcultural niche, and a great place to get an introduction to the major animator names to know and significant points in the history of anime. unfortunately a couple of the segments got slapped down by copyright but the rest holds up!

animation theory (for animators and aspirants)

I'm going to focus here on resources that are relevant to animation in general, and 2D animation. if I was going to list every Blender channel we'd be here all week :p

New Frame Plus is one of the best channels out there for game animation, describing in tightly edited videos how animation principles work in a game context and analysing the animation of various games. highly recommend

Videogame Animation Study is similar, examining the animation of specific games in detail

the 'twelve principles of animation' (defined by Disney's Ollie Johnston and Frank Thomas) remain the standard approach to animation pedagogy; there are various videos on them, but Alan Becker (of Animator vs Animation) has quite a popular series. I haven't actually watched these but many people swear by them! Dermot O'Connor expands the list to 21. Note that some of the terminology can be a little inconsistent between different animators - c.f. 'secondary motion'...

Dong Chang is an animator at Studio NUT, who produces a lot of fantastic, succinct videos on standard techniques in the anime industry, timesheet notations, etc. etc. Studio Bulldog, a small anime studio, are a good complement; they focus more on douga than genga and are generally a bit more traditional.

programming

big topic here, I'm going to focus on game dev and tech art since that's my field. but also some general compsci stuff that's neat

SimonDev - graphics programmer with a bunch of AAA experience, fantastic explanations of advanced optimisations and some of the more counterintuitive aspects of rendering

Acerola - graphics programmer who makes very detailed guides to a variety of effects with a very rapid and funny 'guy that has seen monogatari' editing style. When he's good, he's really good. His video on water is probably the best one I've seen (though I can recommend a couple of others).

TodePond - the most charming, musical videos about recursion and cellular automata you've ever seen. less programming tutorial and more art in themselves.

Ben Eater - known for his breadboard computer series, a fantastic demonstration of how to go from logic gates up to the 6502 with actual hardware. worth watching just for how clean he puts the wires on his breadboards like goddamn man

Sebastian Lague, Useless Game Dev - both do 'coding adventure' style videos where they spend a few weeks on some project and then document it on Youtube, resulting in a huge library of videos about all sorts of fascinating techniques. great to dive into

Freya Holmér - creator of the 'shapes' library, makes videos on mathematical programming, with gorgeously animated vector graphics. Her video on splines is a particular treat.

There are definitely many more channels I can recommend on these subjects, but I'll need to dig into my history a bit - unfortunately I need to rush out right now, but hopefully that should be good to be getting going with!

[jacesbeloved]

ladylike ✷ j. velaryon

✷ ⎯ summary: wherein the battle between the blacks and the greens has one of the most feared sellswords picking a side—for the right price.

✷ ⎯ tags: jacaerys velaryon x afab!reader (18+)

✷ ⎯ notes: happens before luke d-worded, also this is not beta read sorry!!! anw i hope u like this new fic since i tried something new with it (+ the cover)! comments and likes r very appreciated <3 if u want to chat or request for something, my asks r open :D

"This is not enough. If we are to show our power, I say we make the first move at Harenhall. Burn their blockade to send a message." Daemon's suggestion was full of fire, turning to the Queen with an intent of starting and leading this war.

The figures around the painted table shake heads in their dismay. Looking at the Queen with worried looks as she stares blankly at the table in front of her with revenge in his eyes.

"We cannot wager on just yet, your grace. We may have the dragons but our men our far too short in amount," Bartimos Celtigar argues.

Rhaenys expresses her agreement, "I agree with Lord Celtigar. If we are to win this war, we need to approach it with careful thinking both externally and internally. I suggest not making any haste decisions, your grace."

"Haste decisions? What a jest." Daemon scoffs. The jab at the princess results in nothing, choosing to ignore the Targaryen prince.

The rest of the table on continues on about their plan. It was Daemon against majority of the council members; he was pushing for Rhaenyra to attack, get the starting advantage while the others disagreed.

They may have numerous dragons, but it is still hard to gauge their capacity especially with the beastly Vhagar in service of Aemond Targaryen.

By the time when every member has dispersed to their own affairs, Jacaerys and Lucerys head back to their chambers. The younger Velaryon sighing as he rests his head on the thick wooden frame.

"Are you...are you nervous of where Mother is sending us?" Lucerys asks Jacaerys, who had already been fixing his stuff for tonight's trip to the North.

Jacaerys noted the look of nervousness on his brother's face. Halting in his actions to reassure him. "I am worried, a bit, but we are doing this to defend our mother's rightful throne. The Greens have no right to steal it from her."

"And anyway, you will be going to the Stormlands, am I correct?"

"And you to the North," Lucerys says, beginning on arranging his stuff as well.

After which, Jacaerys made his way back to the great hall, two guards approach him. Apparently, Daemon is asking him for a word outside of the castle. Somewhere near the edge, he figures.

And he was correct, Daemon is by the edge. Overlooking the busy seas and cloudy skies with his hand on the butt of his sword, the usual tout look on his face as Jacaerys makes his way to him. He doesn't notice his stepson approaching until Jace is calling him first.

"What is it that you want, Daemon?" Jacaerys questions.

Daemon does not move, except for glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. "Each second we waste, the Hightowers are celebrating their usurped throne. Westeros think of them as the rightful heirs of the iron throne."

Jacaerys' jaw clenches, remaining quiet. Daemon calls him closer. Caraxes appearing to his sight as the beast flies above them and around the other mountains of the island.

Daemon pauses for a minute, "It has seem as though your mother could do all but launch this war."

"Mind your words, Daemon," Jacaerys warns. "Mother has decided no action be done until her word. Your men are well to know that."

The older Targaryen lets out a deep exhale as he turns around, leaning on the stone block, his eyes set on somewhere away. The two of them stay there in silence before Daemon speaks again.

"Two days from now, your mother will send you to the North for Lord Cregan Stark. I am advising you not to."

"Not?"

"Instead, you will go to King's Landing this evening. I have men there that will take you to the place we need if we want to win this war before it even starts. No bloodshed needed, as you and your mother so prefer. Am I correct?"

Jacaerys looks at him wearily. The tone of his mother's husband sounding suspicious enough as the smile on Daemon's lips.

"Why me? Why not you?"

"I am needed at the blockade," Daemon answers simply.

Silence is what Daemon receives as a response. "It is up to you. As the heir to the throne after your mother takes back her rightful place at the iron throne, it is your responsibility, already, to start thinking as the future king."

More silence follows. By this time, Daemon is smirking at him as he toys with a small piece of paper that he had received earlier through a raven from King's Landing.

"Is mother aware of this?" When it was Daemon's turn to be silent, Jacaerys already has his answer.

As the day passed, Jacaerys watched his mother struggle with her unborn child. Every now and then looking outside the window. Lucerys has been everything of help to her, aiding her in possible ways while Jacaerys pondered on about what Daemon told him.

As the words of Daemon echo in his head, Each second we waste, the Hightowers are celebrating their usurped throne...

"What am I even doing here?" Jacaerys sighs to himself, the hood of his cloak hanging lowly on his head whilst various chatters and lewd noise from the sketchy alleyways fill his ears.

"Here you are," the men—man that Daemon apparently knew halts him at a seemingly plain brown door. It was clearly at the back of some building, some brothel Jacaerys guesses.

"Are you not going to accompany me inside?"

The armored man shakes his head, looking side to side, "My payment only serves me up to here," he pauses. "Go inside and whatever is in that paper is what you seek. Ask for a Lady." Jacaerys sighs at his instruction, throwing him the bag of gold coins that Daemon had given him.

Jacaerys takes a deep breath before he goes inside. A circus of lights and cloths dance around his sight. The busy environment with numerous naked women pulling around men of various stature.

"Good evening, my lord," one woman purrs, draping her arms across the expanse of his chest. He coughs awkwardly, shaking his head.

Look for the biggest woman, she is the keeper.

Jacaerys need not to move for a few minutes of standing there, he is pulled away by three women. "What—Hey, I am looking for the keeper," he tried to say but the women ignored him. Pushing past numerous people before they arrive at a room.

"Jacaerys Velaryon," a woman with a gold-colored dress speaks. An eyebrow raised at him before he even gets to pull down his hood.

"Prince Daemon had already informed me of what it is that you seek, however I fear it is not here."

She will tell you a Lady is not there. But a Lady is there.

"I was informed you would say that. However, Daemon told me she is here. A Lady is here." The keeper grins, waving off the women that clung on his arms.

"If that is what you believe, then I shan't hinder you from finding," she looks at him up and down, "The Lady."

"You may explore the brothel...confidently. We will help you no more than ensuring your protection inside of this establishment. If you are unable to find a Lady befit for your liking, your protection outside of this is not of our concern anymore, my prince."

"What does a Lady look like?" Jacaerys asks the keeper.

The keeper merely shrugs, waving at the women around Jacaerys. "Those are ladies, my prince. Everyone here is a lady."

Jacaerys clenches his jaw at the useless answer, leaving the room with the keeper's chuckles echoing in his ears.

She has a scar on her left. Burgundy hair with embellishments.

There is one that catches his eye. The burgundy lady showing off skin with a light pink fabric covering her body. He does not quite see the scar but the hair, he does.

The woman was pretty occupied with bringing this one guard somewhere. The guard had his hand in hers, eyes longing with hunger.

"Her. I need her," Jacaerys calls out quietly, fast in his steps to follow the couple. He loses sight of them for a moment before he sees them once more, finally entering a room.

Multiple women hiss at him as he follows them. Taking one more breath before he goes inside of the room only to see no one but the lady.

"It is rather uncourteous to barge into a lady's room, is it not?"

Jacaerys takes a look around, it was only the two of you inside of that room. You were leaning lazily on of the bedposts, the darkness hindering Jacaerys from seeing your face.

"Where is the guard?" Jacaerys asks.

Your eyebrows furrow in feign innocence, "What guard, my prince?"

"The guard—you came in here with a guard. Where is he?"

"I do not know of such guard that you seek, my prince," your purr strikes that one chord inside of his chest.

"If it is a man that you seek, my apologies but this is a brothel. The street of silk has a different brothel for those that seek men."

Jacaerys shakes his head. "A Lady is what I look for. Burgundy hair, your height, has a scar on her rib."

You hum, silently disposing of the blade in your sleeves to get on the bed. Alluringly pulling off the sheer cover that you wear on your shoulders.

"Burgundy hair is most definitely, the scar, however, I am afraid you would have to find out for yourself," you grin at him, slowly making your way towards the end of the bed where he stood.

"I do not seek such service. I was told a Lady is what you are."

"We are all ladies, my prince," you cock your head to the side, standing on your knees as you finally see his face thanks to the very dim light above.

You were the most beautiful woman he had laid his eyes on. It was as if he was enchanted the moment you put your hands on his shoulders, lips stretching side to side.

Once you are in her grasp, it is all but a pleasurable transaction. You would have to act fast, not to—

"What is it you ponder on about, my prince?" You break him from his thoughts. Trailing your hand down his tunic as you kept your eyes on his. He was speechless, unsure of what to do. "You only have to say the word and I assure you, I will make you forget about them before next morrow."

I must think straight, he repeats in head over and over again until your lips have already touched his neck. Hands expertly unbuckling his cloak before he can even notice.

Jacaerys is then left there, in his tunic and trousers, blood awfully rushing through his lower regions as you now grab his hands and place them all over your body.

Your lips suck and bite tenderly at every skin you come across, grinding your body in his hands as you whisper sweet nothings. Slowly, but surely, pulling him to the bed.

Jacaerys' eyes roll to the back of his head when your hand falls to palm his growing erection. A soft gasp leaving his mouth as you do so.

Refer to her as Lady if you want to get her on our side. Offer her whatever she wants.

He bites his lips, inhaling deeply before he stills himself from your ministrations. "The Queen is in need of your services, Lady."

You chuckle, "The Queen? The prince seems to be in more dire need of my..." you pause, "...services."

"We have gold to offer. More than you may think of. More than any has offered you, I am confident," Jacaerys stammered on with his words, unable to speak straight especially with your gaze on him.

"I do not need gold, my prince. I have gold to spare," you reply back, slipping off the bed to turn Jacaerys around.

"Then what is it that you want?" Your hands grip his shoulders firmly, pushing him to sit on the edge of bed.

"I want you to tell me what you want, my prince. After all, I am a Lady and you are a prince. I live to serve my prince," the words roll off your tongue way too smooth for Jacaerys' liking, your ability to flatter seemingly too good.

You get down on your knees, brushing away your hair as you look up at Jacaerys. The prince breathes heavily, his open mouth unable to let words leave.

"Just relax, my prince. Tell me, is this what you seek?" You breathe in his ear, palming his hard-on as you await his word. He is like stone on your hand, his shoulders tensed and extended.

"I—N-no..." shaky words leave his mouth.

You halt, "No? Do you want me to stop, my prince?"

It takes a minute for everything to register in Jacaerys' head before he's speaking again. "No, my lady. Don't stop."

Your lips stretch into a grin, getting on your knees as you untie the string of his trousers. Jacaerys hastily helping you take them off. When he pulls it off, he's pulling you up by your face to plant a kiss on your lips.

You were caught a bit off-guard and so you pull away, the two of you staring at each other. Jacaerys is staring up at you with heaved breaths.

Pushing him down again, you get on your knees and push your head back. Hand gripping his hard shaft. He lets out a deep guttural groan as you do so, the man biting his lips as you start moving your hand.

You pull your hand away to spit on it before going back to jerking his cock again. Head tilted up to watch his reaction as you put your lips on the head of his cock. Tongue swirling around the head making him thrash his upper body around. Groans and whimpers leaving his mouth.

Soon enough, the prince is all but calm as you bob your head up and down his cock. His arms flailing all around as he looks for something to grip.

"Does it feel good, my prince?" You ask innocently.

Jacaerys breathes, "Yes, oh gods, just like that, my lady. It feels so good."

The encouragement shakes your core when his hands come over to rest on the sides of your head, his hips thrusting up shyly which made his tip reach the back of your throat. Jacaerys' release evidently coming up.

"Don't stop! Please, don't stop," he whimpers desperately trying to reach his high. Hips now moving on its own as you focus on breathing through your nose. The rough movements of the known gentle and calm prince igniting your core.

Sounds of gags and deep moans fill the room. Next thing you know, you're pushing his thighs back down on the bed as you take back control. Sucking his cock with hollowed cheeks while swirling your tongue and hands around the length. My lady was all that was pouring out of his mouth.

"I am near," he informs you. "Do not stop, my lady."

A loud groan sounds through the room. Jacaerys' chest heaving up and down as he explodes inside of your mouth. Quick tingles running through his body the moment your tongue licks around his tip, jolting when the overstimulation hits him.

You wipe your mouth. Spitting out his seed in a random towel on the floor while keeping a keen eye on his body.

"My lady," he pulls himself up to his shoulders, taking a look at his surroundings only to see you dressed in a top. You raise an eyebrow at him, coming close until you're both an inch away from each other's lips.

His eyes shift from your eyes to your lips, internally debating with himself before he seals your lips.

You return the gesture, swiping your tongue on his plump lips before biting something inside of your mouth. The sides of your lips stretching when you see his eyes slant.

And from there, Jacaerys' sight goes black.

For hours on end, you navigated through the darkness. An unconscious prince with a sellsword in the middle of the Blackwater Bay, sailing with hope in a dark heart.

Slowly, the prince's eyes flutter open to a dark and unfamiliar surrounding. He froze. The wood against his body prompting him to jolt upward. You, who was rowing the small boat, watched him unfazed. Much more irritated at the unnecessary commotion than the sword that Jacaerys draws to point at you.

"Where am I? Who are you? What have you done?" his questions shoot at you like a crossbow.

"Calm down, my prince. If you do not think of jumping or killing me with that sword, we may arrive at shore no less than an hour."

He inches the tip of the sword closer to your neck, moving with caution, "Where are we?"

"Calm now, my prince," you let go of one oar to slowly move the tip of his sword away from your neck. Maintaining eye contact with the prince as you smile, "That wasn't how you were acting earlier."

Jacaerys' cheeks faintly flush, gulping silently. You snicker at that, answering the prince. "I am bringing you back to Dragonstone, my prince."

if you liked my writing, you might want to consider buying me a ko-fi <3

[echantedtoon]

Let's Summon An Oni! Part 2 Mine

(Hey everyone. I just wanted to thank everyone who read this far and liked my story enough to read it to it's end. I had a lot of fun writing it and it makes me happy knowing some people loved it enough to read it fully. If you liked this consider checking out my other works. Thanks to everyone for reading this, faving it, or leaving a nice comment. And thank you to Koyoharu Gotouge for creating such wonderful characters and giving me the opportunity to make this wonderful story.

Warnings for yandere themes, someone gets wounded real bad by slashes. )

Taglist: @lavenderdrxp

The next morning arrived but you could find no ring.

Your friends had helped you clean up the mess off your floor come morning and you all practically tore apart your room trying to find your great grandfather's engagement ring while your great grandmother's was ...around your ring finger? You could've sworn that you had left it in the jewelry box last night but woke up the next morning with it on your right hand...You must've put it on your finger last night and remembered wrong during your worry and sleep deprivation. However despite moving the bed and shuffling around everything enough to rearrange your entire house five times- There was no signs of any stupid rings.

"Don't worry about it, Y/n," one of your friends had assured you with a pat on the back. "It'll turn up when you least expect it. Things always do."

Maybe she had a point. Things did seem to turn up when you least expect them but that didn't mean you weren't upset with it! And your room still smelt like a hundred bath bombs went off in it. It annoyed you to know end but there was little you could do about it. After all there was the fact that you had to go work and attend the nearby college classes so you pushed your troubles to the back of your mind and tried to focus on the project in front of you at the moment. Papers shuffled in your hands and a nervous smile on your face.

"Ok. So I'll write the essay part, you make the 3D model, and then we'll both present it Friday?"

The man next to you nodded and hummed in approval. "Seems good to me. "

"R-Right..*ahem*." You nervously pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "Ah anyways..Are you busy tomorrow?"

He rose a brow at you from the sofa. "Yeah actually. Why?"

"I was thinking maybe w-we could see a movie? Or maybe coffee-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" His hands were held up all of a sudden. "Look. You're very nice but I don't roll like that."

You blinked. "Huh? Like what?"

"I'm not a cheater!"

"Oh! Y-You have a girlfriend?"

"Uh- No. But I'm going to be putting up with any drama from your boyfriend." 

His hand pointed right at your neck or more specifically your necklace and when you looked- You froze. Your great grandfather's ring was out again but this time it was slung around the necklace you wore every day along with the cute little charm your necklace usually had. Your mouth dropped open looking at it then at him..a hand reached out to rub over your necklace, more specifically the ring again. 

"I-..I D-don't know where this ca-came from?!"

"Yeah right!" He abruptly stood up making the sofa move with his movements. "Do I look stupid to you? I'm not about to become a chick's side piece because you think I'm cute, and if your boyfriend has any sense he'd dump you too. Don't talk to me again unless it's about the project!"

He turned and started stomping towards the door. Papers fluttered to the floor as you stood up and held out your hands towards him. 

"W-Wait! I really don't know how this got there!'

He didn't listen. You winced as the door slammed behind his retreating form shaking the foundation of your home ... Before you looked back to the ring on your necklace again. It was your great grandfather's ring alright. Complete with a diamond in the middle. But how did it end up on your necklace? You threw it back into the jewelry box three days ago and you didn't put it on your necklace. The only logical answer you could think of is that you must've put it there but forgotten about it (even though you KNEW that you didn't) or it must've gotten entangled on the necklace inside the jewelry box and you didn't notice when you put it on the necklace. You never noticed the reflection of a man in the mirror watching your lab partner leave or how he also left the reflection after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The quietness of the study was unbroken as the man silently studied along the table. The silence was only filled by the ticking of the clock behind him and the crackling of the fire in the fireplace that filled the study with warmth. The light danced across the shadows and lit up the place in the dark. It was a rather cozy room with many shelves of books, comfy chairs, and the table with a giant map sprawled upon it. Yes. His father would be pleased with the surveillance work he made of the new farmland he purchased. They should be able to divide it enough for the blueprints for the many houses. Renting the houses out to people would certainly bring plenty of money he could use to help pay off his student loans. A yawn escaped from his throat as hands reached up to remove the glasses before a hand ran over his face. It was getting late. A hard day's work deserved a good rest. The man stood leaving the comfort of his warm study before walking away to exit into a hallway. It wasn't too hard to find his bed inside his bedroom. With a small action of placing his glasses on a nearby table, his body curled up inside the bed cozy and warm.

But not safe.

Shadows moved. Elongated alongside the wall. Red eyes narrowed. An arm extended itself out.

" Looking so peaceful in slumber. Not a care in the world...I wonder what hellish escapades you'll have within a world of nightmares." 

The elongated form of claws reached out from the hand extending out towards the slumbering form. 

"A fitting vengeance for an intruding obstacle. Let's make you fear ever speaking with a certain person ever again. You'll learn not to disrespect my once even in your thoughts nce I'm done with you."

A fingertip pressed against the soft skin of the man's forehead. Manic rising as the brows furrowed more and more. And soon his mouth opened up as eyes shrunk at a shadowed figure. And a scream shrieked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you hear about Sabo?"

The clanking and clacking of lockers shut around you before you looked up at your friend who looked concerned at you. 

"Huh? What was that?"

Her brow rose annoyed and a hand placed itself on her hip. "Didn't you hear a word I said?"

"S-Sorry. I've been... distracted by work lately."

That was an understatement. You kept waking up with the ring on your body in one way or another. Two days ago you decided that you were overacting about the ring after your lab partner left you stranded and to ensure that you didn't lose another ring, you put a combination lock on the jewelry box after you chucked the ring back in. Now you couldn't misplace it again. However you were exhausted when you went to work and accidentally fell asleep at the cash register only to be startled awake by a customer shaking your shoulders. You rang him up as usual feeling a bit out of it, however you nearly had a mental break down when you once again found a golden band on your finger.

You practically tore the lock off fiddling with the numbers and dumping the entire thing out, and finding no ring inside. You KNOW you put it back! You KNOW that you locked it up right! You KNOW that only YOU know the combination! And you KNOW that it was still locked when you came back!! So how the hell did it get out of the box and on your ring at work?!

There was only one explanation.

You were being haunted! Your great grandparents must be angry at you for losing the other ring! You didn't believe in anything supernatural at all but this was the only thing you could think of that made even remotely sense. You knew you weren't crazy so what else could it be? However you hadn't told anyone yet. Then they'd think you were REALLY crazy! The stress was getting you to space out in front of your gym locker and made your friend groan.

"I can see that. Did you hear about Sabo at all?"

You shook your head. "Not sense three days ago. He didn't answer any of my texts and the project was due TODAY and only the essay was ready! I had to stay up all last night and finish it!"

You had to quickly slap together a 3D model online as accurately as you could and just present the entire thing yourself because he didn't even bother showing up to class! You just hoped it was just good enough for a C or B. 

"I don't know what he thinks he's doing ghosting me like!"

"Probably because he walked himself into the hospital."

You paused before looking at her. "What?!"

"Some kind of wild animal broke into his house a couple nights ago and really tore into him. They had to take him to the hospital and they haven't found what did it get. At least that's what I heard. "

"Oh my God. Is he ok?"

"Dunno. I'm only telling you what I heard and from what I did, he was barely alive when they found him the next morning."

That was terrible! But also why you never slept with the windows open. You felt bad about Sabo but hopefully you can get the both of you a decent grade for the project. 

However you didn't know the bigger problem awaiting at home just for you.

You were so worried about the ring and tired from not getting any sleep last night that you didn't even consider anything else was wrong. You stopped by the grocery store on the way home and just barely was able to balance three paper bags in your arms and unlock the door. Pushing it in and then closing it behind you. Tired eyes just passing by the living room and crossing into the kitchen.

You passed by a man sitting on your comfortable fluffy rug and reading a book from your shelf. Clink- A small teacup clinked as he gently took a sip before he gently placed it back down and started reading the next page as if the woman didn't walk past him. 

"Good evening, Dear."

"Hi." Your tired brain automatically responded without a thought as you placed the bags on the table.

"What are you cooking for dinner?"

"Tonkatsu and rice." Again you responded automatically just tiredly reaching into bags and setting things up on the table.

"Ah. A simple but delicious dish. I haven't had that since a man left it on my shrine fifty years ago for an offering."

"Uh huh."

You passed by the doorway towards the stove with a package of uncooked rice. Step. Step. Ste-....Tired eyes suddenly blinked open wide nearly bugging out of her skull...Feet slowly turned around and walked back towards the doorway. Step. Step. Step. Half her body leaned back out of the doorway...Thud. A bag of rice fell from her hands and fell to the floor with a loud thud seeing the figure of a VERY tall man sitting on the floor of her living room in a meditative state, one hand holding a murder mystery novel as the other gently lifted the teacup back to his face which was mostly obscured by long burgundy bangs. 

You stared staring like one of those comically large eyed cartoon characters. 

A long sip was calmly given before he spoke again. "You dropped the rice."

"W-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" You were wide awake now. Panic setting in from the sudden realization that there was a STRANGER IN YOUR HOUSE!! "H-HOW DID YOU GET INTO M-MY HOUSE?! DID YOU BREAK IN!?"

"Spouses share an abode. Cease your loud voice. It's unbecoming."

"Wha- L-LOOK! I-I don't know w-w-who you think you are-" Your hand fumbled badly for the phone in your pocket. "-b-b-b-but you better leave O-Or I'm calling the police!!" You made a threatening gesture by holding up your phone in a badly shaking hand. 

"Even if you do, they will not see me unless I want them to. Now put down that ridiculous object." 

"I'm warning you! I-I will!"

"Really? With what?"

"With my-"

You froze. Eyes going small as ashes fell from your hand that was holding a phone just two seconds ago, and instead a new shiny ring was again snugly sat on your finger. You jaw fell open.

"That's better. You'd better stop taking it off. It's tiring to keep putting it back."

You started breathing heavier head turning back to him. Fear slammed into your vertebrate like a railroad spike being hammered into the ground. "W-Who..are you?"

"Every human asks me that but I don't see why you shouldn't know who I am, considering that you were the one that summoned me and proposed."

"P-P-Proposed?!" The book closed with a sound and his hand tilted towards you. It was then that you saw the dazzling gleam of a shiny golden band on his finger. You knew what it was instantly. "My great grandfather's ring." Your eyes then narrowed again as you pointed. "THAT'S MINE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH IT, THIEF!?"

"Thief? Hardly. It was presented to me when you proposed fourteen days ago." He slowly stood from where he sat and you suddenly realized how small you were compared to him. "You asked me to become your husband and I accepted your offer. Was that not your intention when you summoned me that night?"

"Summoned? What do you-..."

You fell silent as his head turned. Burgundy hair framed a face as six pairs of eyes stared down at you. Lungs heave. Panic swam. Senses heightened as you rushed to turn around only to scream out as the face was now standing in the kitchen inches away from your trembling form. A clawed fist clamping itself around your forearm like a hot iron ensnaring you frozen to the spot. The silence carried on as you both still stared as your face horrified, and then a clawed hand held up a shiny golden band around his ring finger. 

"I accepted and now we are bound in matrimony, My Little Wife."

"W-Who are you?!"

"I go by many names. Your people still revere me as Moon God, while others of the past called me Demon. You may call me by my true name. Michikatsu." Those beautiful eyes widened even more, especially when a hand reached out to tilt her chin back up to him, the feeling of his claws making her shiver under his careful grasp. "Or as Husband. I have decided that I accept this coupling."

Your hyperventilating lungs breathed- GASPED for air. Lips. Trembled. Body shook. Tears welding up. "I-I.. Can't accept."

"I'm afraid you have no choice but to honor those vows because now-" The Ring burnt again your flesh like a clamp, death sentence for your new fate. "..Not even death will do us part." 

[icycoldninja]

Hello! Can you do a dmc boys + V with a rich S/o? Perhaps the boys didn’t know that their s/o was rich when they first started dating but as time went on and the relationship becomes serious the s/o starts to spoil their boyfriends with all kinds of stuff related to the things they like because after the stuff they went through they definitely deserve it.

Aww yes, here you go and enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Rich!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-He was completely oblivious to your wealth (as you did a great job of hiding it) and didn't really give it much thought until one day, when his power went out.

-He groaned, suddenly remembering he had no money to pay the bills, but then, astoundingly, the lights flickered back on.

-Was it a miracle? No, even better, it was you. You had paid his bills and gotten him out of debt with Lady--how?! Then you revealed you were rich, and Dante's mind was blown.

-Even after this stunning revalation, Dante still didn't care. He was very thankful for all your help, but he honestly had no sentiments towards being rich. He still treated you the same.

-The only thing he'll ask you for is for you to buy him some pizza, maybe once every week or so. He's not greedy.

-If you decide to shower him with presents anyway, he'll gladly accept and immediately find a way to make it up to you, be it taking you somewhere nice or...something else. No do not read into that

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil never noticed, and never cared. He is far too MOTIVATED to trifle with mundane things such as wealth.

-But then you presented him with a rare copy of a book that was worth hundreds of dollars, and he had to question, how did you obtain the funds for such a thing?

-Thus, you revealed you were absolutely loaded with cash, and Vergil was, understably shocked.

-After thanking you, he went right back to not caring about wealth because now he has this interesting book to read.

-Still, he appreciates it when you gift him little gifts, regardless of what they may be. You could give him a pebble you found on the side of the road, and he'd still treasure it forever.

-To reward you for your generosity, Vergil will do his best to take good care of you, physically and otherwise.

□ Nero □

-Nero didn't think much of it either, cause he's not shallow, but one day, Nico's van broke down in the middle of the road and was assaulted by demons who ripped up the exterior. Repairs were going to be extremely expensive, but then you stepped in and promised to take care of it all.

-Nero had to wonder, where'd you get the funds for that? You sheepishly revealed your wealth and he just shrugged.

-After thanking you and all that, things proceeded as usual, with you and Nero splitting the bills for everything as you always do.

-Nero never asks for anything, regardless of how expensive it is, but you don't care. You shower him with gifts, love and affection because this sweet boy deserves it.

-You two end up leaving little treats 'n things for each other at a designated "drop off" spot somewhere in your house.

-Your gifts always seem to be well thought out and expertly made, proving that you don't just buy meaningless trinkets to appease him, you get him things that truly have value.

● V ●

-V noticed you always seemed to be impeccably dressed, but didn't dwell on the subject since it wasn't all that important. His current objective was to get to know you further.

-Then, as things progressed between you, he found himself constantly receiving little presents on his doorstep, usually wrapped in shimmering velvet bows. There was no name tag and no writing on it, so he had no idea who was doing this or why.

-One day, Griffon caught you placing a little gift box and, Griffon being Griffon, decided to rat you out.

-V then approached you the next day and expressed his appreciation, which led to a massive confession on both your parts. You explained you just wanted to give him the luxury he deserves, and he was very touched, but insisted you didn't need to do that.

-But of course, you don't listen, and continued to spoil him however possible, even if you have to break in at 3:00 A.M. and leave it on his kitchen table.

-Eventually you had him move in with you, where you can treat him like the lovely princess he is.

[matty-bear]

“But I’m Not Yours.” [M.S] 

Type: fic! 

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

warnings: sfw, angst 

summary: You realize you have developed very strong feelings for Matt but you never expect the pain and heartbreak that would come with it. 

notes: based on what i’m going through right now with a crush/friend I’ve had since September 🔥 I made a playlist to try to cope with my feelings for him earlier and it’s nearly 10 hours long 😭 I need serious help guys… Anyways, hope you enjoy reading this! :D

WC: 3725

.・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I’m somebody you call when you’re alone 

I’m somebody you use, but never own 

You and Matt have been attached to the hip ever since y’all met in high school. You were very lucky to become friends with the boy considering how he skipped the majority of school due to his anxiety. When he did come, you tried your best to keep him grounded when his anxiety got too overwhelming for him and prevented him from partaking in anything. 

At the beginning of y’all’s friendship, you were both very affectionate with each other and it wasn’t unusual for someone to see the two of you hugging or clinging onto one another. The two of you found so much comfort in each other in such a short amount of time so all of this came very naturally and quickly for y’all. 

Around a year into your friendship, you realized something that would soon become an issue after getting rejected by a crush. The day you got turned down, you texted Matt telling him what happened the moment you got home. As he was comforting you and giving you advice, one thing that he said stuck to you.

“I feel like it’s a lot easier to have a crush on your friend. You won’t have to worry about befriending your crush since you already know them!”

Matt’s words replayed over and over in your head for the next few days. And the more you thought about what he said, you soon came to the realization that you had a crush on him. The moment you realized, it all became so clear to you. How could you ignore the multiple signs that were in front of your face? 

Every time y’all hung out together, you felt extra giddy inside and when you looked at each other, your heart beat so loudly in your chest that you were surprised it didn’t jump out of your skin. Not to mention how nervous you got when you caught him looking at you! Another factor that played into you liking the boy was how much he genuinely cared for you. He was one of the only few people that really understood you and was constantly there for you. You’ve opened up to him about so many things and he’s remembered all of it.

And when I mean all of it, I mean all of it. 

He remembered every little detail about you and it made you so happy that someone actually cared. How could you not like a boy like Matt? Sure he was very attractive, but he has such amazing qualities that make him a great person to be around. You enjoyed every little moment you had with him. Even if it was a short conversation that the two of you had during passing period at school, you cherished every single moment you had with him. 

When you came to terms with your feelings, you found yourself falling for him. And you fell hard. Nick would even say that you were “whipped for him.” (Which wasn’t far from the truth. The boy had you wrapped around his finger without even knowing it himself.) The more y’all hung out, the more your feelings grew and you soon couldn’t take it anymore. After about a month and a half of discovering your feelings for Matt, you confessed to him. You were an anxious and shaking wreck when you opened up to him. 

You feared that he wouldn’t feel the same and possibly cut off your friendship. And you couldn’t bear losing Matt over some stupid feelings that you couldn’t control. But after you confessed and heard Matt say “Y/N, I like you too” and the boy proceeded to go into his own little confession where he gushed about you, you felt like you were over the moon. 

However, due to some of his relationship trauma, the boy wasn’t very keen on getting into a relationship with you at the moment. He was still healing from an old relationship from about two years ago that left him heavily scarred. He told you that he would absolutely love to be in a relationship with you but not at the moment since he needed to heal. So, like any good person would, you heard him out and agreed to put a hold on getting together. 

Ever since you two confessed to each other, the physical touch increased significantly. There was more hugging and y’all even started holding hands secretly in class since neither of you were big fans of PDA. Matt would even write you notes on small stickys telling you how much he loved and appreciated you. It always made your heart flutter when you read those notes and you always kept them in a notebook along with other small things he wrote for you. 

As y’all’s feelings for each other grew, you both got more open in terms of relationships. As in calling each other subtle pet names like ‘Love’ or telling each other what you’d want in a relationship. Every time you told Matt about what you’d want to do with a guy, he always told you that he’d be willing to complete your wishes. This always made you so happy because he actually wanted to make you happy when y’all got together. 

However as weeks passed, you noticed Matt started to get distant and less affectionate. 

There was no more hand holding, notes, hugs, and your goodnight messages were getting left on seen or delivered. He even asked you to stop with the pet names, which you obviously did because you didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable. All of this made you very upset because he was all over you one moment and really distant the next. You were very confused and hurt. 

So you decided to text him. 

When you messaged him confronting him on why he’s been getting distant, you felt your entire world crumble to your feet when he told you that he no longer had feelings for you and the entire time it was just mutual feelings. He went on and said that he apologizes and that his past relationship is getting him confused on being able to differentiate between crushes and a strong friendship. Feeling very hurt and upset, you told Matt that you understand and that you’d wait for him because of how strong your feelings were for him. After y’all’s conversation, you sobbed for hours. 

You thought you actually had a chance with him and went through all of that together just for him to tell you that the feelings were mutual all this time?.. 

You were absolutely crushed. 

As time passed, y’all began to grow distant and you felt that things were starting to become awkward. And this made you panic. The mere thought of you getting distant from Matt was starting to frighten you a little because you relied on him so much and he was one of the only few people you had. You opened up to him countless times about how you’ve felt and the same response that he gave you was “you’re just not talking to me as much as you used to. I try to talk to you but it’s like you’re not even trying to engage in a simple conversation with me anymore.” 

This response obviously made you feel like you were the issue and made you feel absolutely horrible. You began to think that your strong feelings for the boy were getting in the way of y’all’s friendship and you didn’t want that. So you tried your best to get rid of these feelings as best as you could just so things could go back to normal. It seemed to work for a little while but your feelings were always there, no matter how hard you tried to push them away. 

I’m somebody you touch, but never hold 

And you’re somebody I’ll never really know 

Time skip to about three months later, you and Matt are somewhat back to normal and you managed to get rid of your feelings. 

Or so you thought. 

The main thing you missed the most about yalls friendship was the physical touch. You missed his hugs; his warm, comforting hugs that never failed to keep you at bay. Matt also seemed to miss this part of y'all's friendship and agreed to take the physical touch slowly to get back into the old rhythm of things. Soon enough, you both eased back into the hugs, which you were wanting and wishing for the most. You still felt awkward engaging in them sometimes and you just didn’t know why. 

Despite you thinking that you two were back to normal, you continuously felt like you were losing him. Matt, knowing you better than anyone, immediately picked up on your off behavior and asked you how you were doing in private. It took you a minute, but you soon told him how you felt about the current situation. After the boy let you rant, he gave you nothing but sweet reassurance about how he would never leave you and that he treasured very much. This made you feel a lot better and you both shared a hug. One that felt nostalgic to you. It was warm, and very comforting and didn’t hold any awkwardness or tension. 

But as the days passed, you couldn’t help the aching feeling in your chest each time you saw him laughing with his other friends as you were left off to the side. Was it jealousy? You really didn’t know. He just seemed to want to hang out with other people besides you and he seemed a lot happier. You obviously didn’t confront him about it because you felt selfish thinking about it. Sure you hinted about the fact that he kept leaving you for other people but never told him straight up in fear that you would ruin y’all’s already rocky friendship. 

This caused you to take a rather large step back and distance yourself due to feeling that he no longer had any interest in y’all’s friendship. Him leaving you for other people multiple times was a sign of him losing interest, right? Sure, he could have other friends. You would never hold him back from that. But he kept leaving you in the dust. Despite this, you always found yourself drifting back to him. You couldn’t help but to drift back because you missed him so much. 

Every time you watched him interact and have fun with his other friends, you always had an aching feeling in your chest because that’s how you two used to be. Laughing over stupid shit and not caring about a single thing around you. You just focused on each other. 

You missed it. 

The two of you were getting distant. You knew it deep down. But the two of you always pushed the thought of it away and acted like y’all were fine. 

When it obviously wasn’t.

There was something holding yall back. 

And you knew that that something was your strong feelings for him. It had to be. It was ruining everything. 

I know I’m not the one you really love

I guess that’s why I’m never given up

You tried so hard to get rid of your feelings for Matt. And you actually thought you succeeded at some point. But when he told you about a crush that he developed on a girl, you couldn’t help but feel upset. Sure, y’all’s situation-ship happened a while ago but he seemed to have very strong feelings for this crush of his. He moved on and you were still longing for him deep down. You were very happy for the boy and gave him advice on how he should approach this crush of his because that’s what friends do but you always felt this aching in your chest afterwards. 

This feeling only worsened when he told you that he asked the girl out. It made you think back to how y’all used to be. He was so hesitant to get into a relationship with you and told you that he didn't want to get into one anytime soon but he didn’t hesitate to jump into a relationship with this girl who he only knew for about a month. It made you feel really hurt. It made you feel like he led you on. 

‘Cause I could give you all you want, the stars and the sun

But I’m, I’m not enough 

As weeks passed and you watched Matt get deeper into his relationship, you felt your heart twist and turn. You wished that was you. You thought it was going to be you in a happy relationship with him but it was clear that it wasn’t. He was all over his newly found girlfriend and hung out with her nearly every single day. When you two talked, he was always texting her and didn’t pay much attention to you despite you being right next to him. When you texted him, he always gushed about her.

It was always about her. 

You knew he was deeply in love with this girl. It was clear. And you knew you couldn’t do anything to make him change his feelings for her. As deeply as you wanted to get together with him, you didn’t dare to get between his relationship. What kind of person would you be if you did? A horrible one that’s what. And you didn’t want that.

So you stood by the side, watching him be happy with his girlfriend. You never told Matt that you still had feelings for him. Why would you bother? He would immediately reject you. You tried to find new crushes but each time you drifted back to him. Even though you genuinely thought you were deep in a crush with someone else, your heart prevented you from doing anything with them because it knew you were still not over Matt. 

You missed him. He was so caught up with his girlfriend that he started talking to you less. Yes, he did text you here and there but it was mainly about his girlfriend. You didn’t say anything about it because he was actually talking to you. And you took everything that you could get because you missed him. 

All I really wanted was that look in your eyes

Like you already know that I’m the love of your life

As much as you missed y’all’s friendship, you missed the intimate moments the most. As much as you tried to ignore the fact, you knew you did. You missed how he looked at you as if you were the love of his life. You missed the love-sick notes he wrote you every day. Hell, you still had them in your notebook! You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of them. As much as it hurt you each time you flipped to the page, you didn’t have it in you to throw it all away. It reminded you of what y’all had. And you missed what y’all had. You missed the subtle hand holding, the back hugs during class, the small gifts y’all gave each other, the late night calls where you often fell asleep with each other on FaceTime. You missed everything y’all did. 

Like you already know you’re never sayin’ goodbye 

But I’m not yours 

Matt would never know the things you would do for him. Hell, you would do anything and everything for him. Everytime he asked you to do him a favor, you didn’t hesitate to do it for him. You dropped everything for him. Which sounds very unhealthy but you couldn’t help it. You missed him and loved him. You were whipped. You were wrapped around his pinkie finger. 

And he was oblivious about all of it. 

You wanted all of it back. You wanted to be all over him and be able to gush about him openly. And you missed how he would gush about you as well and how he seemed so obsessed with you. However you knew you would never get it back because he was so in love with someone else. 

You clinged and held onto every moment y’all had with each other. Even if y'all were simply standing next to each other, you cherished it. At least you were with him. At least you saw him. It made you feel desperate but you just missed him. You tried so hard to try to spark up a conversation but your stupid feelings just made you feel awkward. 

You had no idea what to do and you blamed it on your undeniable feelings for the boy. Your heart prevented you from acting like how you usually would with him and you didn’t know how to fix it. 

I want more, I want more

But I’m not yours 

All you wanted was to get together with him. Yes, you did miss how y’all’s friendship used to be but all you really wanted was to be happy with him. That's what your heart longed for. To show him how madly in love you were with him. But you couldn’t because he was dating someone else and had no plans on breaking up with his girlfriend. You knew how happy he was with her. She always boosted his mood when he was down (You used to boost his mood when he was down.) and just made him so happy in general. She was the perfect girlfriend for him. She never hesitated to show her love for him or post him on her story. They were practically made for each other and everyone knew it. You had to admit you were a little jealous. I mean, how could you not be? You were watching the love of your life be happy with someone else. 

And I can’t change your mind

But you’re still mine

As much as you tried to discard your feelings, they never went away. You tried everything in the book; giving him icks, distancing yourself, picturing him doing embarrassing things, you tried everything and none of it worked. Your feelings were going to permanently stick with you and you had no choice but to accept it. 

Eventually you did accept it and just allowed your feelings to swallow you whole. Which was a very horrible mistake on your part because the urge to be as affectionate as possible and urge to gush over the boy grew stronger. You wanted to tell him how you felt about him so badly but you knew that it would ruin everything and cause him to drift even farther away from you. 

Matt was the number one person in your heart. The boy that you cared the most about. Your favorite person. You would do anything for him. But you knew that he didn't feel the same about you. You probably weren't even on the list of people he cared for. You were most like an extra in his life. A person who he doesn't speak much to unless it was necessary. (Or if he wanted to talk about his girlfriend) You were perfectly fine with being an extra. (You really weren't deep down.) As long as he was still in your life, you were happy.

I should’ve known that it was dumb love 

15 dozen roses 

All the things that I’ve done for you not to notice 

The reason why this whole situation hurt so badly was because Matt was your first genuine crush. You did have quite a few crushes and even dated a few people in grade school but the outcome never turned out well. Two years prior to your realizing that you had feelings for Matt, you were in a relationship that you had to end yourself because you were highly uncomfortable and didn't want to lead the person on. (Ending it was very difficult for you because you never initiated the break ups. The person you were with usually did.)

Matt was your first love. People say first loves hurt the most because it's the first experience of a deep emotional connection with someone. Some people are lucky to have a successful first love where they get married and even potentially have a family, but the vast majority experience severe heartbreak. And that's exactly what you were going through. And you continued to allow yourself to get hurt by the boy because you couldn't bear to lose him. He was just too important to you. 

Can’t believe I chose you over all my best friends 

What the fuck did I do?

In the end? 

You were willing to give up anyone and everyone for him. If he told you to drop someone because they weren’t “good enough for you,” you would do it in a heartbeat. He knows you better than everyone else so he had to be right! Right? And he wouldn’t lie like that to you either right?

…right? 

You would choose Matt over anyone. All your friends knew you favorited him. (They also continuously told you how unhealthy this situation had become) They knew how head over heels you were for him. Hell, they often brought up his name randomly in a conversation that you weren’t a part of just to see how quickly you would turn around. They found it funny how much you loved him. 

But you didn’t find it funny whatsoever because he was causing you so much pain. 

And he didn’t know it. 

And he never will. 

Just to not be yours 

As you continued to hold onto the few remaining threads of y’all’s relationship, you watched him be happy with his girlfriend. You watched and wished that it was you and wished that you could be happy with him. 

To this day, you still struggle with your feelings. You kept going into denial about them but they always hit you with full force when you thought you finally got rid of them. 

You will continue to wait for him. For however long it takes. Even if you have to watch him get into a hundred more relationships, you will continue to stay by his side; waiting for when you have a chance to finally capture his heart like he did to yours. 

But for now, you will continue to watch on the sidelines and wait. 

[literatureloverx]

To frame this analysis, I want to first point out a letter written by fyodor. For a letter most don't have access to, it puts into perspective a LOT about fyodor's character that was previously only speculated through analysis. It was given out during the manga's 10 year anniversary, you can search it up by typing 'fyodor letter bsd'.

But I will copy it here: "I have nothing to say. There is no one who supported me anyway. That's why there is no word I have to say. To anyone at all. Let alone words of celebration. It is impossible. I have always been alone. And that is fine by me. Has been, and always will be. Well... I felt a little less bored when I was playing chess with Dazai-kun. But that's it."

Now this points out something especially interesting, that out of all the people that served him, all the people who worshipped him through his manipulation, for hundreds and hundreds of his years of living, Fyodor found no substance through any of it. Fyodor is lonely, inevitably lonely not only because he has never let anyone into his mind (and uh. Not many people want to hang out with the guy who straps bombs onto kids), but because near nobody can understand him because, as pretentious as it sounds, he lives in a realm of "genius".

Fyodor lives in a world of sin that he sees himself as above, and wishes to find the book and write a "correct" world under God where there is no sin. And he also lives in a world he is bored of because nobody can challenge him. He explicitly uses the word "bored" in his letter. He is never shown to "like" his servants being completely submissive for pleasure, he just does it because he cannot trust anything straying. Now does this mean Fyodor wants to control those around him? Yes. Does this show that Fyodor finds this obedience engaging? No.

The only person he has shown interest in (not in a romantic way) is Dazai, who is the only one who can level at his playing field. This makes me wonder, is Fyodor's "type" someone far from who he would actually fall for? I feel that to grow interested in someone, Fyodor needs someone who can challenge him. Someone out of his control because they understand him on a level that others cannot, because they are on his equal. Fyodor left his life of boredom through one-sided "companionship" with Dazai.

Note: I find it kinda pathetic of Fyodor to seem so eager about their meet-ups too, since Dazai seems to hate it LMAO

Now I can see Fyodor WANTING to control someone for that safety net and I definitely can't see him going out of his way to get with someone if they're in the way of what he's after, no matter how much he loves them. Bro straight up tries to kill his favorite "chess partner". But it seems that if Fyodor ever wants to pursue a GENUINE relationship, he needs to leave his comfort zone because the only ones who will give him substance will be far outside.

This wasn't meaning any hate or anything, I just wanted to point out traits about Fyodor's character that i've observed, but also to hear your thoughts :D

(Also I can see Fyodor falling for not only someone who can challenge him but someone with a great love for humanity and empathy)

Wow, this was so detailed and awesome to read! Thank you very much for writing this. ❤️

I will break down my perspective on this analysis as you asked me to, but I can say that I agree with most of your points. ❤️

First of all, I know the letter you’re talking about. It actually made me sob for a while when I first read it. I felt the loneliness almost in my own body—the situation he’s in must be so dehumanizing for him.

That being said, I considered many of Asagiri’s explanations about the characters (the letter you cited, the one about White Day, their ideal types, etc.) and formed my interpretation of Fyodor this way.

I absolutely agree with the point that Fyodor is bothered by boredom and that he needs someone who can challenge him.

The question here is, what kind of challenge?

In this case, my point was: someone who can challenge him emotionally (as this is an underdeveloped aspect of his, since he really doesn’t have much opportunity to form meaningful connections with others). Not someone who matches his own mastermind (like Dazai, for example). He values Dazai's ability to read his mind but is not particularly invested in any kind of connection besides that of rivals since he can’t trust him. There is no longing for friendship (a meaningful connection) there. Just Do, Do, Do, and win.

Now, I also believe, like you said, since his motives are not bound to himself but rather the greater good of humanity, the most important thing for him to do is indeed—to win. How is he supposed to cleanse humanity of their sins otherwise?

Where my interpretation differs from yours is that I genuinely think he is very comfortable with being the lead in any kind of situation. What he is uncomfortable with is—guess what? Vulnerability, in general. Just like Dazai. And the most challenging vulnerability to overcome, in my interpretation, would be emotional vulnerability.

In my opinion, he would be interested in someone who can challenge him mentally but not strategically. He knows that feeling. It is true that Dazai quenches his thirst for competence and competition in that sense, but is such a person truly fit for Fyodor?

My main issue with a strategically competent partner is the high possibility of Fyodor never being able to fully trust her. I’ve read many headcanons and fanfictions about him and such a partner, but it never really clicked in my mind.

The aspect of him preferring an intelligent individual over a shallow one is, I think, a very common perception of his character in the fandom, which I wholeheartedly agree with.

But: emotional intelligence is a very powerful aspect of intelligence, as well.

Him wanting to control her for security reasons is absolutely valid in my opinion and interpretation too, since it was what I meant in the first place anyway. He wouldn’t manipulate his partner just for the sake of it—he is too deep of a character for that.

Overall, I hope I haven’t missed any of the aspects you were referring to. I’ll gladly edit my post if anything is missing! ❤️

In conclusion, I LOVED your analysis. I’m very glad when someone makes me think deeper about my own thought process and interpretations. Anything of that kind is deeply welcomed and appreciated! ❤️

To read my other works => MASTERLIST

[aziraphales-library]

are there any WIP or long post s2 fics you guys are keeping an eye on? I want to get into something for the long haul! love you guys, thank you!!

I don't read WIPs myself, though I have a couple bookmarked for once they're complete. Here are some long ones for you, which may or may not be completed by the time this posts...

Flaws by indigo (E) (WIP) (now complete)

Aziraphale cannot just sit back and hope any longer; Crowley is too precious to him to allow any risk at all to his continued existence. The Metatron's offer was far too good to pass by, and even if Crowley refuses to see it, Aziraphale needs to take this chance to make Heaven into the place of light and good that it should be. Crowley will come around eventually, the angel knows that impetuosity was always one of his flaws. But what of Aziraphale's flaws? Naivety, perhaps? I am jumping into the post S2 whirlpool with my own thoughts on What Happened Next. Whilst I have every confidence that NG will FIX THIS, I have some fears that Amazon will leave us hanging... and anyway, I want my happiness for them NOW, not in another four years... Angst in places, but they will end up on the same page, eventually! At least one update a week for now, settling into weekly updates by September.

how do we turn on the light? by moonyinpisces (M) (WIP)

Aziraphale ascends to the highest level of the Archangels. And he remembers—well. It’s not important what he remembers.

The End of My World Is You by T_O_S_T_E, WeepingintheTARDIS (G) (WIP)

If finding the Truth means the end of the Universe… would you still proceed? Something’s Up, and that something is the Second Coming. Although many people - sorry, angels - seem to be involved, there’s only one among them who knows what’s really cooking in the hot oven called ‘the Great Plan’. Although — only one?

Don't Fall Away From Me by PhoenixRose314 (M) (WIP)

if i fall, on that day, i only pray don't fall away from me. What if there was much more to Aziraphale and Crowley's history than Crowley remembers? What if there had been an "our side" even before the Fall? What if Aziraphale's guilt was the only thing keeping them apart for the last six thousand years? And what if the only thing that could pull them back together again was the firm belief of a plucky little angel-turned-human-bookseller that love really does conquer all? Don't Fall Away From Me is a post Season-2 Good Omens fic that rotates perspectives between Muriel, Crowley and Aziraphale.

Are We Meant to Read the Footnotes? by RiaTheDreamer (T) (WIP)

After Aziraphale’s decision, Crowley chooses coffee, not death. Life goes, painfully, on, and Crowley does his best to adapt to his new lonely existence. It hurts. Until it suddenly doesn’t. Someone has opened the Book of Life and erased Aziraphale’s name. Old habits kick in, but how can Crowley save someone whose existence has been destroyed and forgotten?

- Mod D

[letteredlettered]

Hi Im sure you answered this already but i sadly cant find it: how did end up shipping or rather writing drarry fics?

I've actually been asked quite a few times why I ship H/D. I never answer, because it's complicated and long and I have an essay on the subject, so I'll answer the 'how' question without addressing the 'why'.

Once upon a time, the internet was becoming a thing that people used regularly. The news kept talking about how the youths of the day were "surfing the 'net" and this was going to be the new normal. As usual, I could not identify with the 'youths of the day,' even though I was one. What could possibly be of interest to me on the internet? Reading books was far better than talking to other people. Then one day in my senior year of high school it dawned on me that you could possibly talk to other people about books, something I had never done before, as I didn't know anyone but my parents and brothers who ever read for fun, and my parents and brothers did not like to read things like Jane Austen. What if there were people on the 'net who liked Jane Austen??? Seemed fake, but I gave it a try.

The first Jane Austen website I found was Republic of Pemberley, which hosted something they called "Bits of Ivory." Through the "Ramble" board on Republic of Pemberley, I found out that there were "Bits of Ivory" elsewhere. It was called fanfic and hosted on fanfic.net.

Almost all of it that I was introduced to was Harry Potter fic, as HP was the megafandom of the time, and my Sense and Sensibility friend was obsessed with Snape, mainly because of Alan Rickman. I was also obsessed with Snape, though I must say that even though I had been obsessed with Alan Rickman since 1995, I never did like his casting as Snape and still don't. Anyway, I ended up getting interested in Snape/Hermione fic, and continued to be interested on and off for over the next five years.

I should pause at this moment to say that I had been writing fanfic since the fourth grade. I didn't know it was called fic. I didn't know other people did it. It never occurred to me to share it. When I found "Bits of Ivory" it actually took me a while to process that the stories there were in a similar vein to the stories I had been writing all my life, stories based on fiction by other people. It was just so wild to me that anyone would share that stuff, as though other people would want to read the different endings that they came up with, the self-inserts and the cross-overs they came up with.

I should also take this moment to say that I didn't really have slash ships. I was aware that slash existed, and I thought it was great. Sirius/Remus was a background ship everywhere at the time, and even though I didn't really see it in canon and wasn't terribly interested in it, I thought it was a nice thing. And when I started getting into X-Men through Wolverine/Rogue, it seemed obvious to me that Professor X and Magneto had a past sexual relationship. I, in fact, had an original story that I'd started writing in eleventh grade that had similar tension between two male characters, and the idea that they were in love and unable to have sex about it explained so much. And I wrote more original stories in college that were gay.

I think my problem was that the canons I was consuming were quite straight, and while I wasn't obsessed with writing canon-compliant fics, I was (and still am, to some extent) obsessed with writing characters who were true to canon. At the time sexuality seemed some kind of immutable thing to me that was deeply a part of who a character was. Also, sex to me was very Other; it meant something really deep and serious about you that obliterated other things you were. For instance, I was frustrated with all the Frodo/Sam porn, because I felt it obliterated their beautiful friendship and made their relationship about sex and being gay rather than the deep pure bond of friendship. So I was maybe kind of homophobic and confused.

Then I fell in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and while that canon has a lot of heteronormativity, it not only has a character who thought she was straight who realizes she's gay, it also has vampires who have lived for centuries and who have broken every kind of social norm that exists. It seemed silly to me to assume that Spike or Angel were straight, which is how I began shipping Spike/Angel, which is how I got absolutely obsessed with slash. It was so liberating to write porn where the power dynamic wasn't influenced by centuries of patriarchy! It was so liberating to write porn where I didn't have to think about my own anatomy or gender or position in a sexual dynamic! It was so liberating to write porn with a bunch of dicks!

Having discovered slash, I turned back to ye olde faithful fandom, which had ten billion fics about everything. I'm not sure I even tried Sirius/Remus, because I was still so uninterested in it, but now I read all the Snape slash, the majority of which seemed to be Harry/Snape. The thing is, I don't ship Harry/Snape. It can be very hot! But while the porn is fine and some of the stories are fun, these are not two people that I want to live happily ever after. I just think that the power dynamic between them, the history they have, and the personalities they are do not make me want to imagine them as a couple with a happy marriage who occasionally have the friends over for games of Quidditch and Exploding Snap. And while I like queer complicated, angsty stories, I also like a happy ending in a semi-heteronormative sense, especially for Harry Potter, who really seems to want one. So, I started looking for other Harry Potter slash.

I knew that Harry/Draco was a juggernaut pairing, but I just hated Draco Malfoy so much. I honestly could not stand him. I used to go about saying that I hated him not only as a person (like, I also hated Snape as a person; he's a dick, and he's cruel to children! But he's a great character) but as a character. I just didn't like the function he played in the narrative. I like big, dramatic rivalries and evil vs good; meanwhile, Draco Malfoy is a little worm. So I kept thinking about reading HP slash, but resisting.

Then, one day, I was sleeping on the couch, and woke up suddenly with the idea that Draco Malfoy could be reformed. He could be sorry for all the shitty things he's done! He could be really apologetic! He could be really trying to make up for his past, and Harry could find this truly beautiful, and they could have sex about it!

Surprisingly, it was hard to find fic about this. For some reason, in most of the fic, it was Harry having to earn Malfoy's approval, instead of the other way around, which I found absolutely bonkers. But I eventually found Eclipse, by Mijan, which was just what I wanted. Then I was obsessed and was reading every Harry/Draco fic I could find.

Eventually, I even read the ones in which Harry was a cad and Draco Malfoy was a perfect snowflake who never did anything wrong. And then I started finding fics that really emphasized that Draco had a very different point of view of what happened, which showed that he really had no way to understand who Harry was, or what Harry had been through. In these fics, Harry had to do some work to understand Draco, which is what really sold me on the pairing. I still want fics in which Draco has to do a lot of heavy lifting to address his past and deal with the hurt he has caused and the violence of his previously genocidal outlook, but I love it when Harry, too, has to adjust. After saving the world and losing most people he loves and protecting the innocent and doing his exhausted little best to be honest and righteous and true, Harry Potter still has to do work, again, to overcome his past and find a peaceful life. And that's what made me start writing Harry/Draco, the end.