#anyways look at me being gay. you have no choice /silly

[starheirxero]

Unfortunately for all of you, I am not only unwell about Lunar but I am also unwell about angel x robot dynamics. So here's my persona as an astigmatism angel being gay with TWO different Lunars 😁

[hestzhyen]

Sunken Ships and SoRiku

Hi internet void. I went feral and maybe you'll read the result.

KH has made a lot of choices around SoRiku from a narrative perspective that, in isolation, wouldn't amount to much. A heart-to-heart here, a questionable line there, and so on. The usual things that one would do to court a queer shipping audience in an otherwise het or unromantic work. And SoRiku circles have painstakingly documented every instance to show something that looks more like a consistent and intentional effort rather than a few dollops here and there to keep shippers engaged. There's... a lot. But one stupid, insignificant thing really shook me up and made me a believer in SoRiku Endgame, Actually.

Silly as it is, it's Nomura's reaction to people shipping RikuNami that gets me the most.

Generally speaking a writer doesn't want to interact with fandom shipping unless it's to urgently course correct. As in it would be catastrophic to the narrative if the fandom had the wrong idea. Otherwise it's best to just take note of how people are interpreting things and adjust the next installment accordingly, or live and let live. Keep distant and don't risk accusations of retconning/bad writing/queerbaiting in bad faith. So the normal reaction from Nomura seeing people get excited over RikuNami would have been to just do nothing. But instead, the scene was patched to downplay the smile, and Nomura went on the record to clarify that it's not a setup for a romantic relationship between Riku and Namine.

That's insane.

Why is it so important that Riku remain romantically uninterested in a girl he'd have a natural connection to, huh? What about accidentally implying RikuNami was so detrimental to the story that it was changed and explicitly addressed like that? Even if it wasn't meant to be, surely letting it play out like AkuRoku did would be enough. Just gently clarify and move on with the story (which pretty much sunk the ship on it's own anyway). You don't wade into fandom shipping and launch nuclear warheads like Nomura did against RikuNami unless you want to leave no room for doubt.

Torpedoing RikuNami also doesn't help them keep up appearances in terms of straightness at this point. Leaving it intact would only help the case of Riku and Sora being bffs with the strongest bond 5ever- a huge boon for the writing team if they wanted to avoid things looking too gay. Nomura et. al. are absolutely aware of the impressions and jokes about how gay KH is. And KH definitely would not be the first series to play in to queer ship teasing for the lols until it's time to pair everyone up at the end.

But they did the one thing you're not supposed to do if you're just aiming to queerbait: undermining the plausible straight ship. You don't eliminate the only straight option for your character like that for the sake of "he so gay" jokes! Having a straight option available vital to make the bait; they don't have to be compelling or important to the story, they just have to exist. Yet at this point, Riku's only option is Sora. They went out of their way to ensure we wouldn't think anything else makes sense for him.

Holy. Shit.

[lutewife]

luci with a short ma le reader the uses as an arm rest please?

Shorter!reader, male!reader, reader has anger issues, Lucifer is a smug mf, mutual pining

Warnings: Silliness all the way

Notes: I gotchu darlin'. My first ever male reader request, finally!! Sorry if it's too short (get it? short haha...), I have writer's block rn, so it's hard for me to even get to work 🥹🥹 But I cannot leave my requests hangin', so have it, nevertheless! Enjoy.

First of all, damn how come you're shorter than Lucifer?

Well, at least you're taller than Niffty, that's something. I'm sorry

The demon wonders that too when he first meets you. Considering that the first thing you do is...

Laugh at him.

"Damn, who would've thought that the king of hell would be this..." You gesticulate with your hand. "...Small."

You have the nerve to behave like that towards him, I'll give you that.

But the sight of Lucifer standing next to Alastor, who's a freaking giant compared to him is just too funny.

Until the irritated monarch comes up to you.

Everything would be fine, if it weren't for that you are MUCH shorter than him.

Damn it, genes!

The sight from above would be even funnier; an angry duckling, just looking up.

But he wasn't looking up, he was looking down. And he was fucking terrifying.

But hot.

You were just about to say "Sorry, daddy", but bit your tongue.

That would be kinda gay.

And a death wish to the boot.

But to your surprise, you weren't dead — yet. Instead, you felt something resting on your head.

Which was his arm.

How the tables have turned...

"Sooorry, couldn't hear you from down there, what were you saying?" He exaggerates smugly and leans into you even more, causing you to bend under the weight.

Oh, come on! You're not even that short! (You are.)

You try to free yourself from the fallen angel's strength, but fail miserably, as his smile widens even more.

So this is your life now...

From now on, whenever Lucifer visited the hotel, he bullied you, mercilessly.

Although the demon wouldn't admit it himself, it was only because he took a liking to you and your snarky behaviour.

That's why he loved turning it against you.

You were drinking with Husk? Lucifer sat next to you and used your head as an arm rest, causing you to slouch in your seat, comically.

You were trying to decorate the hotel with everyone and couldn't reach somewhere?

"Hey, dumbasses! I can't reach the place you made me 'decorate'!" You yelled with irritation. Why was the world always against you? After Angel told you to chill and Charlie apologized a little too much, Lucifer appeared. "Dad?! What're you..." "Don't worry sweetie, I got this." After saying this, he immediately scoops you up and using his wings, he flies up to the place (or rather much higher than it was needed). You blush furiously and swear him out in every language you know, just to hide the fact, that you like being bridal carried by him a little too much. Gay. "Y-You! You dumbass king! You, you, you...! You dumbo! Dumb bitch!" "Stop struggling! Is dumb the only word you know?!"

Anyway, you try to break free, and it ends with you falling on Lucifer and him falling face flat on the floor. Ouch.

Well, to put it mildly, your relationship was... Funny. One day, you were vibing in the library, as usual. But you couldn't reach the book on the last shelve, even after standing on a stool. Great. (Un)fortunely for you, Lucifer was just looking for you. Seeing you struggle as always put a smile on his face. "Need some help with getting that?" "Shut the fuck up. I can get this myself." You jumped up on the stool, but with no result. You tried to do it more times, but it was the same. "Sooooo?" God, you wanted to wipe his stupid, smug grin off his face. But you didn't have a choice. Bearing yourself, you groaned. "Get that for me." "Couldn't hear you from down there, what did you say?" "I'm... I'm literally higher than you, now." He ignored his obvious slip up and you sighed. "Can you..." You groaned again. "... Please, get that for me?" When you still didn't receive a reaction, you asked, as if on the verge of irritation. "...Seriously?" "Yes." He straightened out. You facepalmed, cringing, but said it either way, in monotone voice. "Oh, the all mighty and incredibly hot king of hell, please, for fuck's sake, GET ME THE BOOK!" Wow. You really had stroked his ego with that. Apart from the last part. "Gladly." In a blink of an eye, he flies up and, as if teasingly, leans on you to reach the shelf. Unfortunately, the stool you were standing on wasn't a very stable thing. So naturally, you fell down. And it looked painful. Lucifer hadn't expected that in the slightest, probably forgetting his strength. So when you let out a pained groan, he starts to panic. Blabbering incoherently, he fails to notice that you are okay and have literally stood up a while ago. Your irritation has now reached its peak. Who gave him the right to be this fucking cute while being so annoying at the same time?! You pull the literal king of hell by his bow tie to reach your level. Your noses were basically touching at this point. You definitely were intruding his personal space, but your anger was stronger than your common sense. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." You whispered harshly. And as if subconsciously, without even feeling the movement of your body, you pulled him into a kiss, in which you expressed all of your pent-up frustration. Utterly flustered Lucifer didn't even know how to react, so he just gave into your heated frustration. After a while though, you move away and look into his confused eyes, slowly realising what you did. You turn around, not to show your undoubtedly too red face. "You are so fucking annoying, dumbass." You just say, trying not to voice break while doing so. You quickly run away from the situation, leaving the profusely blushing Lucifer completely flabbergasted. And then... "LET'S FUCKING GOOO!" You just cheered, being able to be finally honest.

End notes: Maybe it's not any good, but I tried to cook up something a little different! I hope you've enjoyed this lil' drabble and stay tuned for new posts!

[gudrunbrangwen]

So I’m very autistic about music and I loved how succession made Kendall’s music taste have so much character and be so accurate to who he is and who he thinks he is, which made me start thinking about the other siblings listening to music. I just cannot imagine it. I can’t imagine Roman putting on his little AirPod and opening up a Spotify playlist or putting on posters in his room for a certain thing. The idea of shiv being into drill and grime is extremely funny to me. I think connor tells Alexa to put on slow old Spanish ballads blasting (at an appropriate volume) through every floor of his desert house and Willa wears noise cancelling headphones constantly. I just can’t decide if Roman has an obscenely normal man music taste (like what plays in gyms) or if he actually cares about music. And then I listened to horse foreplay again and I need to make a playlist for it so basically: what do you think Roman would listen to?

incredible message. oh man. for one, connor genuinely seems like a music lover because that’s in line with his situation being the only sibling to genuinely enjoy the spoils of wealth and just stuff generally. he also has that fleetwood mac line at tom’s bachelor party, and famously karaokes a fucking leonard cohen song. love him.

kendall’s music taste is central to his character, we all know what ken’s taste is (or at least i think we do, i have seen some very funny “ken listens to this” mixes. they should resemble the intern-curated obama end-of-year picks LOL). shiv i have no idea about, but i wouldn’t be surprised if she had some appreciation for whatever dad liked if dad ever bothered to point something out. i don’t think she listens to florence + the machine though be serious you guys just see a girl with red hair…………….

my personal read on roman’s whole Deal is that he has the least “life of his own” of the siblings. even his reputation / the rumors about him (that he’s a playboy who loves coke) are the least accurate to his actual behavior and preferences (esp when contrasted with ken’s public takedowns which hurt his feelings precisely Because they’re often true). it’s difficult for me to imagine roman having strong personal taste in….. pretty much anything, even when he sees his choices symbolically (“i want steak” speech in america decides). in the end, roman is most interested in cultivating an image of himself that is going to be the most protective of his true desire for authenticity and connection, but we know that he has no idea what to do with himself when he is confronted with an opportunity to actually “express himself”.

all this to say, it is very difficult for me to imagine roman sincerely enjoying music/art without a level of detachment, irony, or jokey judgement. if he likes certain sounds, i couldn’t see him singing along like kendall in the backseat. maybe a handful of songs are nostalgic for him, maybe some post-hardcore (…. fugazi….. honestly……) or even MAYBE some britpop or eurodance from the european half of his childhood. he wouldn’t allow himself true sentimentality with it though. he certainly knows all of the lyrics to a few songs bc he’s very In the World, esp culturally impactful songs, but he just seems like a guy who fucking hates bohemian raphsody. he knows who the pinball wizard is but i can viscerally feel his frown at hearing the baba o’reilly opener in a shop. he simply would never admit to loving a band, let alone buy a t-shirt! (i think i get a little annoyed generally with assumptions about roman that cast him as even a little bit twee just because he’s silly. look at how he actually dresses. this man would not paint his nails or have a charm on his phone. you’re thinking of kieran culkin!)

anyway this is my fav horse foreplay fanmix by @gotouda just bc it’s bursting with songs that are simply About Romtom. full of stuff me a young millennial gay person listens to so i play it a lot lol. there’s also an unsettled/upsetting undercurrent to some of these choices that matches the tone of the fic PRECISELY!!!! i have no idea how someone would go about building a mix based on romtom AND character taste just bc it is nigh impossible for me to picture roman roy listening to a song BECAUSE it reminds him of tom.

tom on the other hand…………….. that’s elton john, that’s ABBA, that’s broadway original cast recording, that’s george michael, that’s adele. ok

[sleepyhead-poll]

BONUS! MOD'S CHOICE POLL!

Mod's Propaganda Under the Cut:

Judai:

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a Yu-Gi-Oh fan. For whatever reason, this series imprinted on me when I was a child and I just never let it go. I've watched the original series, season 0, GX, 5Ds, and Arc V, as well as read the original manga, the GX manga, and the Arc V manga, as well as watched all the movies. The point is: I like Yu-Gi-Oh. There are people who like it more than me, that have watched all the series and what not, but I think I still like it an absurd amount. And out of all the protagonists I know, Judai is my favorite. He's just so lovable, you can't help but like him! He's goofy, he's reliable, he's fun, he has a descent into madness, he's gay, what more could you want in a shounen protagonist? Though being sleepy isn't a major part of him, it's more of a gag of him slacking in class and always going to sleep, it's still super funny and I'm a little sad that he lost in Round 1, though I do like Sonic as well (who he lost to). Give the Slifer Slacker a chance!

Linhardt:

Considering Linhardt is my profile picture at the moment, I don't think I need to justify this too much. But I will anyway. Linhardt is the sleepy crest scholar. Although I will be the first to admit that I am not actually a Fire Emblem fan (and tbh I find the writing in Three Houses kind of bad) (sorry to those who enjoy it) I love Linhardt so much anyway. He's probably my favorite in that very large cost. I love that he's so unapologetically sleepy, like he doesn't care if you scold him to do work, he will do work on his own time. Not only that, but he's actually really smart and dedicated when he wants to be. Linny's friendship with Caspar is really nice, especially since I think someone needs to save Caspar from his awful dad & self-destructive tendencies. Plus, I really like his supports. Especially with Marianne, Hubert, and Edelgard. His supports with Dorothea in Three Hopes is also really nice.

Garfield:

It's Garfield. He's a classic comic. He's a classic meme. Little orange kitty. What more could you possibly want? I love Snoopy, but to be perfectly honest I think Garfield should have gotten as far as Snoopy.

Sleepytime Tea Bear:

Again. He's just a classic. What more would you want but a sleepy bear in pajamas on a chair?

Olruggio:

I'm a big Witch Hat Atelier fan and I love Olruggio. Like yes, I like Orufrey like everyone else, but I also just like Olruggio on his own. I like his scruffy little look and I love the fact that at first he is so intimating but almost immediately he's revealed to be a big softie. I love his light magic motif and I really think it's sweet that he made the thing to keep you warm when you sleep and gave it to the kids-- he's a FATHER. This man needs a nap fr though. Man I need to catch up with this manga.

Osaka:

IT'S OSAKA. Like!!! I don't even know how many clips and comics from Azumanga Daioh make the rounds around Tumblr, but specifically the ones about Osaka are amazing!!! She has the most autistic anime girl swag I love her so much. She's so sweet and earnest and silly... I always lose my mind at "OH MAH GOD!" and she has so many other classics. Like when she makes the Osaka stamp with her eraser or when she struggles to cross the street because she keeps zoning out when the light gets green or when she's distressed about Americans wearing shoes inside... I love her. And to her sleepyheadness, she's always falling asleep in class and whenever she's studying she just starts falling asleep. She's just like me fr...

Takane:

Back in the day I really liked Kagerou Project and so as tribute to my old obsession from middle/high school I have to give a spot to Takane. My favorite part of the series was when we saw flashbacks to the Yuukei quartet and Headphone Actor is still a bop.

Tanaka:

THE REASON WHY I STARTED THIS TOURNAMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Last December during finals I decided to read something light and fun while working and I chose Tanaka-kun is Always Listless because I remember the title from a few years ago when the anime came out and like I loved it SOOOOOO much. He's the ultimate sleepyboy and he's just so funny and relatable. He needs to be carried around by his best friend Ohta and his ultimate goal in life is to minimize as much effort as possible and he's always nodding off and he dislikes being a main character, instead wishing he was a background character... my favorite guy for real.

[hikarry]

Would you rather meet David or Michael?

Sounds like a hard question, but it isn't

I love Michael. He looks so soft and he is so gentle and nice. I'm sure everyone that has met him had a grand old time!

Yet

My foundations would literally collapse if I ever met David. And no, I'm not exaggerating. Last time I met someone I admired, I started crying and couldn't say a single word. My best friend had to pull me to the side and nurse me back to normality.

And it's not because I find him very attractive - it's surely part of it, but not the point

It's mainly because he gives me mad daddy issues. All his support of queer folk breaks me every time. Some stuff he says just...I wish I had heard it sooner. I wish someone had been kind like that to me when I was younger and felt a lot of personal and religious guilt. Having someone tell me that's actually alright to be me and that they would have my back, probably would or wouldn't have changed some stuff in my life

And it's not only the words. It's his roles.

Both Michael and David are straight men who take on a lot of queer roles and, as an actor myself and someone that's involved with the acting scene, that's not something people usually like to do. I mean, if you're gay you don't have much choice cause most roles are straight and you will have to kiss and pretend to fuck a few men on stage, but the other way around? It's not as usual as they might make you believe

And that's so important to me

I know I simp over Crowley a lot - because he's hot as heck, who could blame me - but that's not the only reason I love him. He was the first genderfluid character I ever met. The first actually well written queer person whose sole personality trait isn't being queer. He has depth and multiple layers, which a lot of queer characters in media still don't have.

He came into my life when I was questioning a lot of things about myself. I wasn't sure about my gender. Even though it felt right, how could I be sure? I've never met a genderfluid person before. What if I'm something else entirely? And, for some reason, I was obcessed over the fact I didn't feel proud enough. Sure I had my flag and didn't hide it under my bed, but I felt like I was not enough for the community in general. Most people show so much, talk so much. And I felt like I was too chill about it? I don't know if I'm making sense. Anyway, Crowley showed me its actually OKAY to be chill about it. I didn't have to turn my sexuality and my gender into my sole personality traits.

Besides, him and I just have a lot in common. It's kinda bizarre

So, yeah

Even if I would cry compulsively and not be able to say a word, I would rather meet David

And he's so silly. Could I really take him seriously? Sometimes I wonder

[backdraft-bimbo]

i’m so glad this season is described as “just vibes” with less spiderwebbing plot-lines. the only part of GO i was interested in (and this might just be my Gay Agenda talking) was crowley and aziraphale. i had little interest in any of the other characters just because the relationship between those guys and actors was so strong and well crafted; it made anything else seem mundane. i skip through the whole adam and anathema and witchfinder arcs during rewatches just because they’re not all that interesting; not in comparison.

i’m so excited for this season because they Know what we want as fans and are willing to put it to screen. and personally i can’t wait to see michael and david explore intimacy in a way that we not only didn’t expect (queer media trauma is real folks) but also just assumed we’d never actually get. most people were used to the bare ass minimum until indisputable and thoughtful queer media started coming out.

this sounds so cheesy but it shaped me into a better person, getting to see queer people be intimate on screen. it normalized something i’ve been trying to manifest my entire conscious life (no literally) through fan works and especially fan fiction.

additionally hollywood loves thin and traditionally attractive people. ofmd and good omens have totally turned that on its head and i feel like there’s a greater appreciation and acceptance of normal bodies being represented on screen. this is just speculation but i suspect michael sheen and rhys darby specifically never had a fandom advocate so hard for them at such a life stage. and i feel really happy that they do get to experience that as a demographic (older people) that often gets told that they lose their value because they’ve aged, and thus become less marketable.

you see this when people draw the boys all skinny and hot and young; something i’m not gonna write to the president about but it’s clear that people depicting them to fit the hollywood standard is a reflection of their own perception of beauty. so i don’t care for all this talk about “oh that outfit is so ugly!” or “his beard is weird” because LMAO my outfits have been ugly! if i had a beard, i would make questionable fashion choices! (personally i love crowley’s looks, they’re goofy and fun and fit the vibe of the show, i think it’s pointless even arguing about their personal aesthetics so long as they fit the context and their characters. david tennant can’t always be a smoking hot twink, guys. let him be silly and goofy for my heart’s sake please).

i guarantee if crowley and aziraphale end up kissing and it’s not the most Perfect queer standard camera angle, folks are gonna complain about it, because everyone on screen must be Pretty and Profitable but also Realistic and Relatable. bit of a double standard, no?

that’s why i love that david and michael get to be praised for their physical appearances and i’m no middle aged man but it feels like a door has opened in a way? in myself via the barriers of insecurity and dysmorphia, as well as in some widening sectors of queer society, because it shows that nontraditionally attractive queer people (aka people without abs or a perfect jawline, aka me lol) are fully capable of loving and being loved and being HAPPY and accepted. it makes me so so so joyous. anyway there’s my rant; y’all know i ain’t sleeping till s2 drops tomorrow. i’m HYPED!!!

[evakuality]

Matteo - episode ten

This episode!  Honestly it gives me warm fuzzy feelings throughout and I think that’s why even though I have a couple of issues with some of the previous episodes that I just genuinely do love this season so much.  This episode does such a lovely job of bringing everything together and wrapping everything up - though I am left as always wanting more.  So it’s a good thing that we got the Abi special so soon after :D 

Clip one - first I have to say how frustrating the way this is shot is.  There are so many lovely parts that would have made great screenshots if they hadn’t been so blurry.  The one I did is still blurry but I insisted on at least one per clip soooooo there had to be one.  

Anyway.  This clip!!!  I just have a lot of feelings about this clip.  After all the angst and the stress and the misunderstandings and the tension it’s just so incredibly wonderful to see them finally able to connect with no secrets or anything between them.  And the fact that Druck chose to move this moment to this episode is testament, I think, to how well they understood these characters.  Not only would it not have been in character for David to do this earlier, it also wouldn’t have been right for Matteo.  He’s been shown to be disengaged and isolated even from his own life for the whole season (more tbh when we look at him in previous seasons too) and he was just never really ready before now.  And btw, I think that’s why Sara’s ‘you wouldn’t have sex with me so you’re obviously gay’ thing bothers me so much.  People can be not ready for sex and not wanting to be pressured into it doesn’t make you gay!  But anyway, I like this moment and I like that they are so hesitant and gentle with each other.  It takes so long to build up to it from the fairly frantic parts before they get to the bedroom to the recognition, I think, that this is a big deal and that they can and should go slow once they get inside.  It just all feels so perfectly right for these characters.  And then the admission that they’re nervous (and excited apparently) and yet they’re still in the moment together and willing to work through it together.  In a lot of media at this point they would stop (which is a valid choice, don’t get me wrong) and I love that this scene acknowledges that you can be worried and nervous and it’s okay.  If you stay in the moment together then being nervous is okay and it can be part of the experience for you and you can figure out what you want together.  It’s just a really lovely moment and I love that they got to experience this in this way at this point.  The fact that there’s nothing hidden between them really makes it something special imo.  Not to say that other versions where it all happens at a different time and in a different way are wrong at all, but I just go back to how this is the right time and the right way for both of these characters and I love that.

Clip two - I could probably have written an entire essay on just this clip, I love it so much.  I love that it’s so long and this conversation is allowed so much time to breathe.  And that then we get such a lovely moment with Laura as well.  But let’s look at specifics, shall we?  It means so much that Matteo says that ‘everything’ is good after they’ve had a light, silly, teasing moment.  We see this side of him a lot particularly as s4 progresses but it’s not a side we’ve been allowed to see much in his own season.  But this is who he is or wants to be.  When he’s truly happy he’s being a brat to those he loves, and it’s so wonderful that after all the stress and the worry and the anxiety and the fear and anger etc that he’s been dealing with over the last few weeks, that he can now be his authentic self and be hugged and kissed and loved by someone as he is.  In some ways I think wanting to be accepted for their own authentic self is at the core of both of these boys and so it’s beautiful to see them both getting exactly that in this conversation.  Which of course brings us to the way they discuss David’s transition and his experiences and wishes.  I honestly don’t have the words to explain how much I feel for this section of this clip.  I love that David is comfortable, that he gets to talk about this with someone who does love him as he is.  I love that Matteo has clearly been researching but no big deal is made of it.  I love that we’re allowed to still see the traces of David’s fears and anxieties around this.  I love that he's allowed to be shown feeling something like yearning as he examines Matteo’s body.  I love that he relaxes when he’s told he’s good the way he is.  I love that his experience feels real and authentic.  So most of all I love that he’s played by someone who knows and understands how this would feel for a character like this and is able to be so authentic in his acting.  I am, as always, astonished by how well they managed to cast so many of these roles.  There are things I think could have been done better with the trans storyline, but all in all I’m glad that we got to have the scenes we did between these two when they get to discuss it together.  I just love this whole scene and the acting and the meaning.  And then as if we haven’t already been made all squishy and cosy already, then we get Laura added.  Wonderful Laura who treats Matteo like he’s meant to be there, who has already made breakfast for him and who is loving but firm with her brother.  To be honest, what this part taught me is that we were robbed of more Laura stuff because she’s such a beautiful character and it would have wonderful to see more of her both with David and with the other characters.  And then, as if that wasn’t enough, we get boyfriends sharing clothes casually like it’s no big deal and they’ve been doing it forever.  And the casual leaning on each other.  Just... this whole clip would honestly have made the entire episode by itself but it’s surrounded by other wonderful clips as well.

Clip three - The boys!!  I love this group of kids together.  They just work as a unit and I love that.  I mean, I also love how easily the boy and girl squads blend together in this show but there is something beautiful about each of them as separate entities.  And this scene shows the boys in all their best chaotic glory.  First, I really do love how Matteo is allowed to stall be withdrawn and low energy in this scene.  He’s active and engaged in the conversation, takes pains to talk with the others etc so he’s not disengaged like he has been before.  But he’s also not the Matteo we often see, the one who’s energetic and being a little shit.  Even when David arrives he stays low, slumping all over his boyfriend etc.  I love that it shows your personality doesn’t have to change, you don’t have to stop being introverted etc just because your life is ‘happy’ - he’s still himself, but here he’s a happier version of himself.  And then David.  It’s lovely how the boys just welcome him in.  This is either their first meeting with him as Matteo’s official boyfriend or another very early one (and tbh his body tension etc suggests it is probably the first).  And yet the boys treat him as one of the group, bringing him into the conversation and being their usual stupid selves.  There’s a beautiful peace to the scene even as they range over a number of subjects and characters even feel sad or anxious at times.  It’s still got this really lovely welcoming vibe.  I’d like to say, almost as an aside, that Jonas’s song really is a bit melancholy and yet that’s kind of a good thing?  or at least appropriate.  I talked in the episode 9 part about how bittersweet finishing school can be and this song really fits that feeling.  So it’s ironic that Carlos is the one who most pushes back against it when he was the one who most felt the bittersweet way about the end of exams etc.  But maybe that’s why - he wants the anthem because he’s feeling the most vulnerable.  Also, I know everyone likes to laugh at Matteo and David being all ‘just communicate!!’ but a) they did!  That’s how they got together! and b) right now, they are some of the few people this group knows who have a relationship so perhaps maybe they have the rights of it!

Clip four - I love a supportive boyfriend <33333 The way Matteo tries to calm David by being an idiot on their way to the office and then the way he insists he wants to be there when David says he didn’t have to.  It’s all just so lovely.  For a relatively short moment this whole bit tell us so much about Matteo and how he shows his affection.  I know we’ve seen it before but I do love seeing it in action in such an obvious and determined way.  And the fact that he is supported in turn by the whole group is so precious.  By this point in the week it was starting to become very very bittersweet (there’s that feeling again) as a member of the audience as the season is coming to an end.  So it’s really nice to see everyone there at this time.  And of course, the story itself is coming to a close as well.  We wrap up David’s story (well basically) as we find out that he’s allowed to be graded correctly.  And Amira’s solidarity is precious to me - as another who would face discrimination I love that it’s she who refuses to move for the teacher.  I really do love her.  She’s got some similarities with Sana and yet she has a steel and a way of engaging with the world that is entirely her own.  I love that she got her own season but I’m sad at how parts of it were stolen from her.  I also love that Matteo is perfectly happy to kiss David in public.  I’ve always thought he’s been a more open Isak and more willing to accept and acknowledge his sexuality.  I don’t think that’s necessarily been the biggest issue in his path and I don’t know, this feels like it proves it in a way.  That’s a whole room full of people, including adults, who don’t necessarily know about this relationship and he just goes for it, no hesitation.  

Clip five and six - yeah so I see these as both parts of the same clip and so I’m discussing them together.  This is such a joyous part of the season.  It’s so nice to see them celebrating together and being so happy.  I will admit that in real time it was very overwhelming with all the social media etc but that was also really nice because it felt like such a loss to move away from these characters.  Thank goodness for the Abi special and Amira’s season and all the social media stuff in between.  That was such a fabulous time in the fandom.  But I digress.  As sad as it always makes me, this is such a lovely ending to the season.  That Matteo is able to be so free and open and happy among his friends and that he’s even able to say at the end that he doesn’t know what he wants to do but it’s ok because he’s happy right where he is.  I’m still bothered that we never got any closure on this, we never got to see him move past this.  Which is realistic I’m sure and yet I still want to know.  Other things I’ve thought/wondered about these clips: why is Hans there? Jonas/Anselm’s song is lovely and I always wanted to get a copy but never did.  I’d forgotten the weed stuff so having it come back like this was hilarious.  Red is my favourite colour so this whole part really vibes with me.  I really love the addition of ‘with you’ to the ‘life is now’ because Matteo was so alienated and isolated for so long that it’s nice to see him thinking that ‘with you’ is an integral part of his current contentment.

And that’s that.  I’m all emotional all over again now that I’ve done this so it’s probably good that I’m starting an anniversary rewatch again so soon!  And sometime soon I also want to revisit Amira’s season.  I’ve only watched it properly once so I’m pretty excited to see it again.  I really really miss my og Druck kids.

[redlegumes]

I Feel the Rush

Written for @eddiemunsonbingo

Square: Square C3 Cheap Motel

Title: I Feel the Rush

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,686

Ship(s): Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington, Steddie

Major Tags: Smut, Idiots in Love

Summary: Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson have been hooking up in secret. They've been going at it anywhere that was convenient. But after a tryst when their only option was a cheap motel, Steve feels he has to reveal his true feelings about their relationship.

"Steve's stupid heart thudded faster in his chest. Thinking about me all day? No. No, he was thinking about my cock. Though I'd take that little admission anyway. Steve was not immune to flattery, but he was wary of it. Eddie's flattery at first had confused him, bold and silly. Nowadays it just made him melt into a puddle. By the time Eddie crawled over Steve, lube in hand, he felt it in his core. More than desperation.

'Eddie, I need you.'

'Course you do handsome. That's why we're at the cheapest motel in twenty miles.'"

Link: AO3

EXPLICIT SMUT AFTER THE CUT

I feel the rush

Addicted to your touch

Oh, I feel the rush

It's so good, it's so good

...

Pass your boy the heatwave, recreate the sun

Take me to the feeling, boy, you know the one

Kiss it when you're done, man, this shit is so much fun

"So you’re into little singing twinks now?"

Steve turned and angled his head away from his phone speaker. He had just finished pressing play, setting it on the nightstand. "What?"

"Troye Sivan?" Eddie crinkled his nose in what Steve recognized was the same expression he wore when he saw a jar of mayo: utter disgust.

Steve didn't question how, despite his disapproval, Eddie still knew who the artist was. Troye was a gay musician with a mainstream audience. Eddie kept an eye on that sort of thing. 'Keeping up with the culture,' he would offhandedly say as an excuse if questioned as to why he knew Kim Petras was from Germany or ABBA's top five hits.

"Dude, just-"

"You know the rules," Eddie interrupted, looking even crosser. "No ‘dude’ when I’m touching you."

"You aren't touching me yet. You're just being an ass, bro-" Steve barely got the word out before Eddie launched himself over the bed, pinning him to the wall.

It knocked the breath out of Steve; Eddie's tongue quickly filled his mouth in a hot kiss that left him no chance to regain it. Steve's senses reacted the way they always did when Eddie manhandled him. His body prickled with heat. The longer Eddie plunged his tongue into Steve's mouth the more he salivated. Their jaws loosened steadily, adding a desperate, sloppy edge to each kiss. Eddie's hand worked up under Steve's shirt over his scars. The skin there had taken so long to heal, and Eddie loved exploring the sections on Steve that were now deadened to any sensation versus the patches that had become hypersensitive to touch.

Steve liked the beat of the song in the background even if he couldn't make out the lyrics any longer. Even as the playlist shifted to the next track, he felt it'd been the right choice. It fit the mood that night. Eddie was a rush. Wild and good and sweet. Steve tried to move from Eddie’s lips to other areas that had been growing into more tantalizing prospects, but in doing so he hit his head hard against the wall behind him.

All of Eddie's ferocity vanished, leaving a doe-eyed, attentive man Steve longed to call ‘darling.’

"Steve! Shit, are you okay?" His hand went to the back of Steve's head, cradling it.

God. He's so perfect. Steve felt his knees go weak. Eddie knew Steve had a history of head injuries, and even when they got rough he was always mindful of Steve's head. Steve had hardly noticed, but he remembered now, that when Eddie pinned him to the wall, he'd thrown his hand behind Steve's skull as a quick cushion before moving it under his clothes.

"No, I'm fine," Steve panted lightly. He reached up to drag his thumb over Eddie's wet, reddened bottom lip. "Hungry though."

Eddie looked puzzled for a second, and Steve used the opportunity to sink down in front of him onto his knees. He loved the wicked energy that reentered Eddie's eyes. His hand stayed, softly resting on Steve's head as Steve fumbled with his belt buckle and jeans. Eddie's cock waited for him under a pair of plain white boxers. Steve wrapped his mouth over Eddie's hidden head, letting the cotton soak up his saliva but keeping that barrier between Eddie's hot cock and the entrance to Steve's throat. Eddie always liked it more when there was teasing, a bit of a challenge or game.

He whined above Steve who was deeply proud. That noise normally didn't come till later. He continued to warm and wet Eddie's cock through the boxers until Eddie moaned. "Come stand back up. Christ."

Steve looked up at Eddie from his knees and licked his lips, knowing the position had to look good. He'd seen Eddie in it often enough. He adopted a tone of fake innocence. "Is that what I should be doing?" He ran his lips over the now translucent fabric of Eddie's underwear. "You don't want me to stay down here?”

"Steve. You trying to get me to cream my pants?" Eddie began mumbling just a little. "…because it might be working. You know I can't last when you play slutty like that." Steve smirked and blew his hot breath over his work. Eddie groaned, and his free hand gently ran along the underside of Steve's jaw until he guided Steve to look up at him by his chin. "Do I have to ask again?"

"No. I'll stand back up." Steve waited till he rose, eye level with Eddie once again before punctuating his sentence. "Dude."

Eddie practically tackled him onto the bed. His hands were now intentionally working at Steve's shirt, and he wanted so badly to be wearing less but there were rules to hooking up in motels.

Steve protested against Eddie's exuberant kisses. He pulled back, giggly and bright. "What were you saying, bro?"

Steve rolled his eyes. Okay, so maybe it is the worst. "The coverlet," Steve grumbled, barely getting the complaint out.

Eddie paused, bouncing his eyebrows rapidly up and down. “Eager to get to the main event?”

Steve huffed. “Oh fuck you.”

“Manners Harrington. Say please?” Eddie ground down onto Steve’s lap sharply.

Steve tried to stifle a moan, but his time on his knees had got him just as hard. His hips jerked up in response to Eddie's press. Eddie stretched over top of him, gathering his hair into a high bun, securing it with an elastic as Steve watched him. The motions were fluid, practiced, simple but Steve adored it. He could watch that movement on a loop all day long. Eddie's messy tresses tucked up out of reach, his long limbs stretching. Steve caught the way his lithe muscles flexed under his shirt as he tied the hair above his head. Eddie's face flushed, and his eyes narrowed as he observed Steve’s study of him.

“What were you thinking for this rondevu?”

“I think you know exactly what you want to do,” Steve said, letting his hands run along the bottom edge of Eddie’s shirt. “And I am perfectly happy with that.”

“Yeah?” Eddie cocked his head, trying to remain aloof while failing to suppress a shit eating grin. He loved to be given control. No matter how they switched it up, no matter the positions or roles, Steve had yet to be disappointed when he let Eddie take the lead. Steve loved the impression he got of a mastermind tinkering away in Eddie's head as soon as he did get that control. The ‘dungeon master’ at work.

"Yes. You devil."

Eddie laughed at that. He wriggled up and off of Steve. “Okay. Alright do your little bedbug check.” Eddie grabbed his backpack, no doubt pulling out the lube while Steve stripped the covers and checked for anything unspeakable.

The most worrisome part of the bedding had been the coverlet, which Steve stripped completely off and then began to strip down himself. It was visually apparent that the brief break from hot and heavy foreplay didn't diminish either of their appetites. Steve reclined nude back onto the sheets. Eddie made a little show of taking off his shirt and then fully getting out of his pants. He winked and bent down, turning away from Steve.

“Eds. Oh my God.” Steve felt his entire face heat up. Eddie had a black butt plug inserted and was displaying it for him. He had it this whole time?

Steve remembered the call he'd received earlier that day. Eddie had been insistent on seeing him.

Steve's folks were in town, and it was Wayne's night off. Eddie wanted a bed so that nixed the car, and now Steve knew why. He prepped himself so nicely. It would’ve been an awful waste if we hadn’t worked something out. Their hook up plans were nearly dashed till Eddie mentioned the Days Inn the town over from Hawkins. It was used by travelers only as a last resort and it was their last resort too that night.

Though it wasn't the first time.

There'd been a few nights where Steve needed to be out of his house, away from them when they were home. He knew he needed to move out, but it was so easy to be lulled back into the ease of living in his house by himself when they left. It was only when his parents were around that he remembered how acute his need to sever ties with them was. And there were the odd days when Eddie was unable to host. Having Wayne discover them was something Eddie seemed desperate to avoid. Most of the time, Steve liked it best when Eddie was home with him. Often enough they'd hang out and cook or watch TV after or in between ‘antics.’ The house would actually feel like a home, and Steve could pretend for a little while that they were actually a couple.

Steve sat up and brushed his fingers lightly over Eddie's ass cheeks, pausing to tap the base of the plug. "You gorgeous freak," he murmured. He could feel his cock dripping onto his thigh just at the sight.

"You love it," Eddie said, sticking his tongue out.

"I do."

Steve had replied in an instant, quickly regretting it. He was sure his face was painted with the amorous truth. Luckily, Eddie was headed to the bathroom to finish his preparations.

Steve lazily tugged on his cock, trying to keep his anxieties at bay. I'm about to have amazing sex because he's amazing. I'm still good with this. Just because he's into casual friends-plus-certain-benefits… it doesn't mean he wants more. And that’s okay. I’m okay. He's never talked about past relationships… only encounters and fleeting partners. That's his style. This has been working. Right?

Eddie reentered, looking sort of triumphant. As his eyes wandered to Steve's cock, the gaze turned ravenous. "Ooo I am going to ride that big boy. You've no idea. I've been thinking about it all day."

Steve's stupid heart thudded faster in his chest. Thinking about me all day? No. No, he was thinking about my cock. Though I'd take that little admission anyway. Steve was not immune to flattery, but he was wary of it. Eddie's flattery at first had confused him, bold and silly. Nowadays it just made him melt into a puddle. By the time Eddie crawled over Steve, lube in hand, he felt it in his core. More than desperation.

"Eddie, I need you.'

"Course you do handsome. That's why we're at the cheapest motel in twenty miles." Eddie was nearly giddy as he sat atop Steve. His thighs flanking Steve's, their leg hair brushing against each other's skin, as Eddie adjusted in its own delightfully light friction.

Steve was already caught up in a swirl of anticipation as Eddie rose and then gripped his cock. Steve let out a noise that sounded something like a hybrid of a moan and a sigh of relief. Eddie chuckled and dripped a generous amount of lube over the tip of Steve's cock. He wet his lips, watching Steve shudder as the cool liquid dripped down his shaft. Eddie finally angled himself so his entrance ran over Steve's head. He felt how loose his ring was against his cock.

Steve moaned again. “Eddie, fuck. Need you,” he repeated, “need to feel you.”

Eddie shut his eyes and exhaled as he sat slowly down on Steve's cock. “Ah. You've already warmed that lube up. Love how hot your body gets for me.”

Steve's eyes were slitted against the agonizingly slow pressure, fighting the urge to give in and burst. He was so sensitive. Oh. He realized that Eddie hadn't put a condom on him. They were both tested and exclusive. Barebacking had been discussed, but it was still rare for them.

“You only say that…" Steve hissed as Eddie slipped lower. "Because you have poor circulation. You're always cool."

“I don't see anything wrong with my circulation.”

Steve tore his gaze from Eddie's pink cheeks, his contorting lips, to look at his cock hanging hard. As Eddie's body came closer to fully enveloping Steve's cock. Steve’s hands reached out on the bed, his fingers anchoring in the lumpy mattress. He couldn’t trust himself to let his hands wander to Eddie when he was topping from the bottom like that. He wanted Eddie to set the pace. His mind blanked a little when Eddie slid down the remainder of the way. He began to slowly grind, rolling his hips.

“Oh fuck," Steve cried as Eddie started to move up and down. The passes were slick and steady. The plug had done its job well.

Eddie threw back his head as he rode. The tip of his cock brushed against Steve's stomach, creating a wet spot on contact. “It feels so right in me angel, just right. Heavy and good. Want you to fill me up tonight. Can't stop dreaming about it.”

“Eddie, oh.” The words were eroding Steve's ability to hold back. The tension in him built, growing unbearable with each slide of Eddie’s body’s tight grip on his cock. Steve needed release. “Please, please,” he begged. “Can I please?”

“Already? Looks like I got you worked up so good angel,” Eddie panted.

“Please Eds," Steve choked out. Even his brain felt overheated now.

Eddie grunted and sat down hard. “Come on then. Grab me. Fill me big boy.”

Steve's hands flew to Eddie's hips, his thumbs against the scarred skin he adored because it matched his own. He thrust up, bouncing Eddie above him, and then Steve let go. His orgasm drained all the tension, and in its place a rush of good flooded through him. The feeling traveled up his spine as his hips jerked upward once more. Eddie cried out a little with the added movement. He gasped as he lifted off of Steve, sprawling backward on the bed.

Steve raised his head to see his cum drip from Eddie's ass. A bit loopy and almost dizzy from the natural high, Steve readjusted so he could crawl over Eddie's thighs. He zeroed directly in on Eddie’s twitching cock. He began to suck it at a dogged pace. He let it slip further and further into his mouth till he deep throated the pulsing member. Eddie cried again, this time, some sort of warning that did quite reach Steve's lust-addled brain. He felt Eddie’s thighs tense and backed his cock out just enough to easily swallow his climax coating his tongue. He was greedy, still sucking for more even when he could tell Eddie was spent.

They both lay back on the cheap sheets, regaining their breath. Steve felt an unwelcome, post-orgasmic, clarity seep into his mind. He didn't want to be there. It was understood, neither of them wanted to sleep in the motel, but Steve wanted more than just getting out of their current location. He wanted to be in a place where he could wrap his arms around Eddie, sleep and wake in a few hours for another round. Steve's heart panged from his longing to clean up with Eddie and lay back down in soft linens. He knew that what he really wanted was to stop worrying about the time or place he and Eddie could be together.

But we aren’t ‘together.’

Eddie moved off of the bed. He stood up, and Steve visually traced his scars as they stretched with the action. The grafted skin along Eddie’s hips was especially taut and shifted as he reached his arms over each other and twisted his waist. Steve wanted his hands to be there again against his skin. Eddie cracked his neck and turned back toward the bed, shaking his hair down from his bun. He looked gorgeous. Like sin and sex and sweetness. Eddie was everything Steve desired to hold. Hundreds of moments that he wanted to share with Eddie flashed through his mind.

I can’t do this anymore. Steve scooted over to the edge of the bed and sat up."Hey. Look, it's not that I don't… I don’t want this to stop. Okay?"

Eddie looked at him suspiciously. The expression slowly shifted into one of bewilderment before he replied, "okay?"

"I don’t… love the motel, the van, the alleyway that one time." Steve tried not to think too hard about letting the word love slip out. Truthfully, I don't love the secrecy.

"The quarry." Eddie chuckled, his eyes glazing briefly. "That time in your dad's office."

Steve had a viciously visceral flashback to a desktop digging into his thighs. "Fuck. Yeah, um, those times. I want more, but like… Eddie." Steve looked at Eddie through his lashes, trying to get the right words out. "I want… more."

"Babydoll, repeating the word is uh, not really helping me out here." Eddie brought some of his hair up to his lips and his shoulders pulled inward. "’Mm not sure what you’re getting at Steve."

"Can we…" Steve groaned. Come on. I can be honest with him. He’s one of my closest friends… that I’ve fallen for. I just have to say it. Steve agitatedly ran his hands through his hair and down his face.

Eddie observed Steve’s frustration with one eyebrow cocked, his face was a mix of amusement and confusion.

Steve met Eddie’s eyes, a warm chocolate brown, softening the longer they held each other's gaze. Steve swallowed. Start small. "Can I take you out?"

Eddie shrugged. "Sure?"

Steve stood up off the bed with surprise. That was too easy, right? He pushed down slight embarrassment, remembering they were still both butt ass naked. "Sure?"

"Sure. Definitely, but, uh…” His eyes darted around the dingy room. Eddie was circling his fingers, stretching out his hair tie between both hands. “Do you one better? Steve, do you... Do you like me? Like, for real like me?"

"Yeah." Steve nervously licked his lips, staring at Eddie's while he approached, already in his space. 'Like' isn't the half of it, Steve thought wretchedly. "I really do."

"Fuck. I was hoping so." Eddie beamed back at him. Then he slipped into a slightly cockier smile. "I just needed you to be brave and tell me sweetheart."

Steve's heart leapt in his chest. 'Sweetheart' was reserved for Eddie's guitar. Everytime Eddie called him pet names there was normally a tease involved but now… He swallowed. “Eds. Look, I’ve fucked around. I didn’t know if that’s what you wanted. What you expected… but I can’t pretend like it's what I like anymore.” Eddie’s eyes flashed, a sadness tinged them. “I want to be in a relationship, y’know? Work towards having.'' Steve bit his lip and looked away, speaking so quietly he worried that Eddie might not hear him. He wasn’t ashamed of how he felt, just scared. He was terrified that Eddie wouldn’t want the same thing. “A solid, loving relationship. I want that so…”

"Hey.” Eddie's hands slotted against Steve's face, holding it so he had to face him; Eddie's thumbs were against his jaw. It didn’t feel rough or hasty like their normal touches. It felt steady, safe. “I’ve been in love with you since I saw you pick up the kids the first time. You did this crazy handshake hug thing with Henderson… Took me a while to be honest with myself about it, but I was a goner from that moment on." Eddie sighed heavily. "I also have had my heart broken by guys trying stuff out with me, so I promised myself I wouldn’t confess. Just go with it. Have fun with what I could get."

Steve gasped at the confession, and Eddie laughed at his response, kissing his lips. When he pulled back, Eddie seemed to tremble a little. Steve realized, if what he was saying was true, this was the first time Eddie was lowering that wall with him. Sex had been one thing; this was relationships, romance, love. Steve never wanted to see his wall go up again. He wanted that access, the genuine Eddie, all the time.

“Eddie, I’m sorry. I'm so sorry if I made you feel like I was toying with you.” Steve rested his hands on Eddie’s lower back, comforting himself with the contact. “I honestly… I thought this was all just what you wanted. You’re so flirty, joking all the time. I thought you hooking up with me was just… Hell,” he cursed. “I’m an idiot."

“It’s not a game for me Steve." Eddie's hands dropped down, one against Steve’s neck the other lay on his chest. Steve’s heartbeat quickened. “Not to say I don't like playing with you. But not with feelings. I’m starting to think we were both pretty big idiots here. Though the sex has been phenomenal."

Steve laughed and kissed Eddie’s cheeks and smiling mouth. "No more cheap motels?"

Steve could not think of a more endearing sight then Eddie Munson as he warmly agreed. "No more sneaking around sweetheart."

Steve's mouth went dry, and he managed to swallow before the words came tumbling out. "Move in with me?"

"Woah, what?"

"Let's get our own place.” Eddie looked at him slightly stunned, but Steve knew with absolute certainty. That's what I want. I want to be with him. “No sneaking around? Well, I’ve been in love with you since the boathouse. Eddie, I wanna come home to you."

Eddie's eyes grew a little unfocused, teary before he appeared to jolt back into himself. “Yeah. Yes."

"Yes?"

"Hell yes. But before that.” Eddie’s wicked spark was back. “We gotta sit down and make our own sex playlist. No more shuffle."

"What? You weren’t feeling ‘the rush?”’ Steve grinned back, trying to contain the boundless joy he felt growing in his chest.

He stopped Eddie's protesting groan with a kiss.

[dreamypqulson]

— counting stars

summary: you get stuck on the rooftop with none other than harriet hayes. perhaps she's not bad as you think she is. or perhaps she just looks really pretty under the moonlight.

pairing: harriet hayes x reader

word count: 2200

When back luck decided to stuck, it hit at the worst possible time. You not only felt as if you had an awful show, but now you were stuck on the root top with none other than Harriet's Hayes.

It was silly, really.

You were enjoying the after party when Matt sent you up to the roof to turn the lights on after the power had suddenly went out.

It was simple, you just had to flip the backup switch on.

But of course Harriet had to follow you up. She was bored, is what she had said. She simply wanted to get fresh air. But when she's your shadow nine out of ten times, you find her excuses somewhat hard to believe.

She always had to be around you. But she hated you. And you despised her too.

She didn't like that you were gay, and you didn't like that she tried to push her beliefs on you. Harriet's Haye's stupidly pretty face pissed you off to no end. And you hated that stupidly pretty dress that she was wearing tonight; it hugged her small curves in the best ways, and you just wanted to rip it off.

You wanted her to stop making you feel like this, like the only way you would only be able to feel her skin, and taste her lips would be in your dreams. Like you had to fight wars with her to keep your feelings down within.

"There's no cell service" Harriet had said.

"Could've told you that one" was your piqued response, and you banged on the door one last time before giving up.

"Maybe we can climb down."

"Harriet, I hate to break it to you, but we aren't in one of your silly little movies" you told her plainly, without even making an effort to look at her.

You sat down on the concrete block, and pulled your coat tighter around your frame.

"Okay well calm down. At least i'm trying to think of ways to get out of here."

"Yes, because your ideas have been so helpful" you replied sarcastically, and could see that you were getting a rise out of Harriet.

She took a seat beside you, and you moved your leg when her knee hit yours. You hated that a single touch caused shivers down your spine. "You don't have to be so mean to me. I just trying to help, okay?"

You looked away, you wanted to cry, really. Her voice slightly quavered, and you wanted to take it all back. But, you refused to falter your demeanor around her, so, you provided an act of kindness instead. "Harriet, take my jacket. Your freezing," because you could feel her ice cold arm against yours.

"What?" she turned her head to the side, and now her face was incredibly close to yours. All you had to do was lean a little further, if you were to have the courage. "No. It's freezing out. I don't want you to be cold."

"Well you're the one who has to film for a movie soon, so I don't want you to get a cold. My dress sleeves are longer than yours anyways."

You took your jacket off, and placed it over Harriet's shoulders, where she then put her arms through it. It was cold out. Freezing. But you would let yourself get hypothermia if it was the punishment for making Harriet comfortable.

She was still looking at you, you could feel it on the side of your face. You could hear her soft breaths in your ear, over the millions of cars down below you. "Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden?"

"I just don't want you to be cold, okay? Just forget about it."

"Fine." She turned her head back to face the view of the city.

"Fine."

Silence spoke for a few moments before- "Okay but why don't you want me to be cold. You hate me."

"Harriet!" you sighed "I don't hate you. That's the thing, I don't hate you as a person, I hate the way you ridicule my life choices."

"Well-"

"Can we just try to find a way out of here? Please? I seriously can't take this right now. First a terrible show, now this" you said, and was sure that if the party was going to hear anything, it would've been that.

You stood up and the blonde then replied with, "A terrible show? I thought you were great tonight."

You looked her dead in the eye, and she saw something in them, a sort of softness that you have never offered her before, and then she continued, "I thought you were amazing, actually. Better than me."

"Then I must've been good if the Harriet Hayes is saying this."

"You know, you don't have to act like i'm this big bad celebrity all the time. I think we're equals. You're outstanding" Harriet told you, matter of factly.

"You are in a million different movies. Everyone always wants to see Harriet Hayes on their tv. If it wasn't for you, Studio 60 wouldn’t have been as popular as it is."

She stood up and held you hand. Her’s was warm, as she had been warming them up in the pockets of your jacket. "I think that they just aren't looking hard enough into you because they know you'll take off further than they can reach. They're assholes, but if they just payed attention for a moment, they would understand what i'm saying."

"I- Wow. Thank you, Harriet." You titled your head down to conceal the blush that had taken ahold of your cheeks, and then you cleared your throat. "Uh- um...maybe we should figure out a way out of here."

"Definitely. I don't want to be spending the rest of the party up here."

And there it was again. She didn't want to be up here with you, she was simply being nice to put the tension and awkwardness on a halt for the time being. You knew who she really wanted to go spend her time with.

"Yeah, you would rather spend it with Matt. I know" you scoffed, dramatically.

"Well yes, because Matt was going to talk to me about my new skit" she said, and you felt as if the conversation previously, suddenly didn't happen. It was like she was an entirely different person whenever the thought of Matt would occur.

"Of course. It's always Matt."

“What is your problem with Matt? You know, you wouldn't be on the show if it wasn't for him."

"Oh would you look at that, Matt's my little fucking hero, getting me on this show, huh?"

"Gosh, it's like you're jealous" she slapped her hands to her side, and then lifted them up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Maybe I am."

"Then why are you even still here?"

“Because of you, Harriet, goddamn! It's like I can't get enough of you. Over Christmas break, all I could think about was you! I can’t go a single day without seeing your beautiful face, because I go absolutely insane. I need to hear you yelling at me over something stupid that I said, or to just feel you roll your eyes when I flip you off. I need that Harriet. I need you!"

She walked closer to you, her hand meeting your cheek. You flinched, figuring that she was going to slap you. You would deserve it, you thought.

She didn't. She didn't slap you. Her hand rested on the pink tinted flesh of your cheek. The warmth, mixing with the coldness of your skin. It felt nice. It felt like getting under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate after playing in the snow as a kid. It felt like home.

"I'm in a new hell every time you get back with Matt. I can't stand it anymore, Harriet" you whispered, enough for her to hear. The moonlight made Harriet’s skin glisten, and you noticed that she, as well, was crying.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore."

"What-"

It was rare, the feeling. Something you've never felt once before. Something past that euphoric feeling that you get when you finally get to the top of the hill.

Harriet's lips felt soft against yours, and you felt greedy. You could taste the red wine on her lips, though she wasn't a single bit tipsy. This was Harriet's real decision.

And she wasn't very good at making decisions either. Never with Matt, nor with anyone she been with the time before that. She had always picked out the wrong ones. And they had never felt right to her anyways. This, this felt right.

However, greedy was an understatement. You were covering yourself in Harriet, and taking every piece of her to your grave. She was yours, for now, at least.

Withdrawing from her was quick, because you needed to breathe, and you hadn't even thought of it, as your brain had shut down and replaced it with everything Harriet.

"I don't wanna watch the Matt and Harriet show anymore. I wanna be one of the stars." She knew exactly what you meant, because she had felt the same way when you brought in your new girlfriend a while back. She was long gone now though, because all you could ever see in her eyes was a glimpse of Harriet.

Harriet, with her forehead still against yours, said, "We can make our own show. Together."

"Then you have to promise you won't cancel it on me."

"I wouldn't dare" she breathed against you "I don't think I ever want that door to open now, though."

You laughed, "Yes, if it didn't feel like it was below zero degrees out."

"Then let my body heat warm you up." She sat down, and then put her arms out for you.

You laid against her, not worrying that your hair would be messed up, because Harriet made everything feel a bit okay. "Do you think anyone is ever going to find us up here?"

You shifted against her so you could lay on her chest, used as a pillow. And for her arms, as a blanket would, covered you tightly.

"No, because sometimes it feels like it's just you and I in this world” she said.

"Even when I'm mean to you?"

"Even when you're mean to me. But I don't think that's going to be a problem anymore."

"It never should've been. I'm sorry. I feel terrible, and if I knew that this was the ending, then I never would've acted like that" you said, sympathetically.

"I threw my belief’s in your face, and made you feel awful about yourself, just to suppress my feelings for you."

"Sometimes people do crazy things when they're in love."

"They do."

Overtime, you ended up falling asleep on Harriet. She stayed awake to make sure you would be okay in the coldness, and to see if someone would come to the rescue.

Though by now, she figured the after party was just about ended.

She kissed the top of your head when she felt you begin to shift, and then you stretched out your limbs.

"Still up here?"

"Still up here." She confirmed, and your body shivered harder. You weren't properly dressed for this, but in your defensive, you were expecting to get stuck on the roof.

"Honey, your shaking so badly. Take your coat back."

As much as you were concerned for Harriet, you still listened because you were too exhausted to argue.

While you put your jacket back on and buttoned it up, you breathed in deeply. Harriet's scent had already consumed this jacket, and made it feel much cozier than before.

While you did this, Harriet banged on the door a few more times. If nobody were to hear you both now, then you would be here until the morning.

It was when you were dozing off again, that you heard you name being called. In a rather aggravated tone.

"Yeah?" You said, not giving much to open your eyes and look at her.

"Did you ever try pushing the door?"

"No...why?"

"Because, y/n, it's a fucking push door. Not a pull door. It's been open this entire time!"

With that, your eyes shot open, and you raced over to Harriet. The door, was in fact, open. But if you were being honest, you didn't regret any of this. Even if you were going to wake up with a cold tomorrow morning.

"Oh..."

"Oh my god" she laugh breathily. "I can't even be mad at you with that face, either."

You smiled harder, your eyes squinting though the sleepiness to look at her. "Let's go, you goof. How about you just stay at my place tonight?"

"Would love nothing more, baby."

You walked right past her, feeling her beam brightly, and stare at you with heart eyes bigger than the moon.

If it weren't for your forgetfulness, you wouldn't be going home with her. So really, neither of you could actually be mad. You would take a cold over having to spend another day without kissing Harriet.

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[republictrooper]

The Elysian Kingdom Spoilers

“It begins, like all good stories... once upon a time.”

THAT. THAT. THAT RIGHT THERE IS WHAT STAR TREK IS FUCKING ABOUT.

It’s 55 minutes of a rollicking good story and then 5-10 minutes that absolutely RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND CRUSH IT TO PIECES.

And that final line is just, so peak episodic fantasy sci-fi Television, just the POV character for the episode making one final wistful statement about what just happened.

It’s those old classic ST episodes where they somehow stumbled on the Greek Gods or the TNG Episode where the Holodeck went weird or Q turned them into Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

THAT. THAT is what Star Trek has been missing,and why SNW remains the best new trek since the DS9/VOY era, hands down.

But seriously.

Ortegas. Carrying on the tradition of Sulu by both turning into a dashing sword fighter when she loses her mind AND being gay as hell.

Spock, playing the role dark wizard way too damn well.

Pike just being the exact opposite of what he is and hamming it up as a simpering little traitorous chamberlain.

La’an. Oh my GOD La’an.

And then Hemmer realizing he needed to play to type to push the story along and just absolutely SLAYING the powerful wizard act. Abra-cadabra INDEED.

Ugh. It’s so good. SO. GOOD.

And then that last scene. See, this is why SNW gets it. 90% Episodic Hyjinks, but then it gives you that 10% of giving the characters compelling personalities and trials and storylines so that you are invested in what they do and what happens to them in all those hyjinks, and when they finally pay off, when they finally hit that final arc... it just floors you.

Honestly, only 2 real complaints, and both of them are like, really minor.

1. I wish they’d just go the hell ahead and make Ortegas confirmed queer as herself and not as a character written by Rukiya (but also, kudos to Rukiya for writing in that rep. Like, hell yeah, girl).

2. I wish they’d had at least SOME characters remember.

I mean, mostly because I feel so sad for M’Benga, even as he made the right choice and gave Rukiya the life she couldn’t otherwise have, but it would be nice for him to have that sympathy, that compassion, from the people who remember, who know what he felt and gave up and are ready to stand by him to help him as he finds his happiness again. I mean, Hemmer. Hemmer just reaching out to him and offering to help broke my heart.

But also, imagine:

 Ortegas teasing La’an about her little run as the Princess and yelling “Totally Worth It” and she chases her down a corridor.

Christine greeting Ortegas everytime she walks into the Sickbay with “To what do I owe the pleasure of this vist, Sir Ardya?”

Actually, just half the people on the ship doing flourishing little bows to each other and calling each other “My Liege” and stuff.

Uhura just absolute owning Queen Neve’s poise and grace to crush whatever department they give her next.

Also, that last little scene with Hemmer like... “Am I in your quarters?”

...I... I kind of might ship Hemmer/M’Benga now. Not gonna lie.

Like, imagine Hemmer enjoyed being a Wizard so much that he wanted to understand more about human literature featuring wizards, and M’Benga points him towards TH White and Tolkien and Prachett and others, and sometimes they just meet in his quarters to talk about it and, like, after they kind of realize they like each other’s company, and one thing leads to another, and the first time M’Benga wakes up in Hemmer’s quarters, he looks up at him, and says with a smile, “Chief... am I in your quarters?”

Anyway, Silly little injokes are my love language and there’s so many that could come from his episode is all I’m saying.

Also, please. Please. Paramount. Just give me more episodic trek like this forever. It’s all I want.

[infizero]

one day i will make a beautiful full rewrite of sonic forces like ive always dreamed of doing since i was a 14 year old girl

(ok so um. i started writing stuff in the tags and it accidentally got so long i went far beyond the tag limit. whoops. so this is just an actual post now. read more for my insane sonic forces rewrite ramblings)

i want to so fucking bad. every time i think about the wasted potential that is forces it makes me so depressed ToT i cant help but love forces despite it being garbage. the soundtrack is banging, the character customization is fun, i LOVE infinite, it attempted a darker story like the good ol days..... its so fucking bad but there were so many cool ideas and it drives me insane

also its one of the few sonic games i've actually played firsthand. purely because it was free on like the playstation game pass thing or whatever its called. and i did genuinely have fun with it even if it was pretty easy. also for the longest time of me being a sonic fan, forces was the latest mainline game. that era is when i got into sonic so idk. i cant help but look fondly on it even though its writing choices drive me fucking batty

while thinking about all this i came up with an interesting idea. so. there's something so fucking cool to me about infinite and the avatar's dynamic like. the way that infinite, despite his powers... him being a mobian and that scene of him flying right beside you and stuff..... idk its like he feels more on your level then some like ancient god villain or whatever.

that flying side-by-side scene esp inspired this but ANYWAY. what if, to make him AND the avatar character more interesting.... they were like. childhood friends or something. or just knew each other in the past in general. that would add SO much depth to their interactions within the game of like. infinite calling them weak. flying side by side. infinite's whole classic "character trying to reinvent themself" thing.

like infinite is using the power of the phantom ruby, trying to become strong because shadow called him weak and everything <- which btw this motivation has gotta change/be expanded upon cause this shit is still so silly. shadow called him gay and that's infinite's whole motive. cmon now we can do better than that

ANYWAYS. but that desperation from infinite to become an entirely new person - changing his name, wearing the mask, etc etc. that could become even more interesting if you add someone into the mix who knew infinite BEFORE his transformation.

and i know i know the avatar is supposed to be able to be projected on and stuff whatever whatever. but like idk man. plenty of protagonists have pasts that are part of the story even tho they're customizable. and besides it wouldnt be like a full backstory for the avatar. just the fact that they knew infinite once upon a time. and maybe something happened that split them apart or something. idk. but whatever happened between then and the events of the game wouldn't be elaborated upon, so you'd still be able to come up with your own story for your character if you want to.

and then the avatar's presence in the story could present a conflict for infinite. maybe despite him trying to act like he doesnt care, he like. hesitates. or lets the avatar go at some point. or something. and that gets him in trouble with eggman <- on that note. MORE CONFLICT BETWEEN EGGMAN AND INFINITE. im a little fuzzy on that aspect of the game but from what i can remember that never really goes anywhere. i want infinite being fickle about eggman's orders to MEAN SOMETHING!!!!!

also. i guess infinite could still ambiguously die at the end. but he'd definitely survive and show up in a later game, a la shadow. i need him to. my special boy.

anyways but going back to the avatar and infinite. i rlly think this could make both of them far more interesting than they are now. infinite rlly doesnt have like. an arc over the course of the story? hes just kinda. there. we get his backstory but in the present he kinda just. fights you a few times and then he dies. the end. this would actually give him something to do during the story, even if it was just like. brooding over why he let the avatar go or something.

and like..... i feel like forces SHOULD focus a lot on infinite? at least more so than the actual game did. like it doesnt have to be a shadow sa2 situation where like the whole game is centered around his story but i honestly... wouldnt be opposed to that either. like the war stuff is not that interesting im gonna be real.

also btw OBVIOUSLY the whole "sonic being imprisoned and tortured for 6 months with zero consequences" thing would be changed. that shit is so stupid and pointless. idk for sure if i'd just get rid of it outright or alter it, but probably the latter. cause like it IS actually an interesting scenario: how would these characters react to sonic being presumably dead? (long-term. 06 does not count LOL)

like that genuinely is a fascinating scenario to explore but i think one of the main things is that it would have to take place soon after it happened. none of this 6 months later amy wistfully going "sometimes i still dream sonic is with us....." shit, that is so dumb. WHAT is the point!!!

i'd want the story to start like fairly soon after sonic gets captured. and it wouldnt just be "sonic characters act as war generals" simulator. if we're doing this we are going ALL in. full focus on the characters' emotions and mental states which fluctuate over time. at the beginning they're hopeful but as more time passes with no sign of sonic and them losing more and more land to eggman, things start to crack. that could genuinely be so interesting to watch as long as it was treated with the actual seriousness it deserves instead of the cop-out edginess with no repercussions that the actual game has.

speaking of this part. TAILSSSSSSSS tails in forces was the wasted opportunity of the century. im gonna be real after having so much time to think about it, i really dont think that tails cowering after sonic was defeated was THAT egregious. i definitely think it could've been handled better, considering he had both beat chaos before and thought sonic had died before, BUT. tails is, at the end of the day, still a little kid. no matter how much hes grown and everything, thinking his big brother is fucking dead is probably still gonna fuck him up big time!!!

i also think that the idea of tails out on his own is SO fucking interesting and i am so mad every day that they barely did anything with that. maybe tails DID stay with everyone else at first. maybe after enough time everyone else presumed sonic to be dead and tails got upset because he knows sonic can't be dead, he always comes back, he did last time this happened right? and he left one day without telling anyone, attempting to try and find sonic himself.

and then he comes across omega all trashed up, and him fixing him, oh, idk, ACTUALLY MATTERS? (crazy i know) omega gets fully restored (plus some upgrades, of course) and it becomes the two of them against the world. throwing in a little craziness here but what if omega sticks with tails bcuz tails (who is definitely um. a lil more fucked up from everything) promises that hes directly interfering with eggman here, and that he'll actually allow omega to full on KILL eggman if/when they get the opportunity to. (tails is not fucking around) i just really need these two working together to be a thing.

rouge and shadow could also be MIA. i dont know if i'd want them as part of the larger resistance, they'd probably just be trying to help stuff on their own, but maybe at some point they'd realize that shit is really fucked this time and the only way they'll be able to stop eggman's reign of terror is by joining forces (lol) with the larger group. power of friendship and teamwork and all that, as is forces' main theme.

anyways. this is kind of all ive got swirling in my brain right now. i dont know how i'd tackle sonic's imprisonment itself. i definitely dont want to be in a position like the canon story where sonic should 100% be traumatized by what happened. bcuz i feel like thats probably a bit much lol... so maybe keep him imprisoned that whole time but get rid of the torture. idk, if we want to really get crazy with it we could throw in a whole thing where its like hey eggman why arent you just killing him? isnt that what you've wanted to do this whole time? funny how you're... keeping him alive like that. isnt easy bringing yourself to kill this kid you've basically watched grow up huh? even if he is your biggest enemy. idk that could result in way too much going on. but it could give a reason for sonic being kept alive + a reason why his imprisonment wasnt too crazy bad. just spitballing here.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS. for real thats it I NEED TO GO TO BED. good god. maybe i'll rb this post at some point with more ideas if i have them. hell maybe i'll even write this whole thing someday..... regardless. GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!

[riverstardis]

survivors:

iain sees jez snogging a guy outside

ahh they’re showing rita being all happy before mark comes in

lmao ethan lost his glasses and hardly remembers any of the night before so he’s wearing sunglasses because they’re the only prescription ones he could find sjskdkfj

well they go well with the fact that he’s horribly hungover anyway sjdkfkf

rita’s treating the girl mark groomed but neither of them know who the other is😬

and there’s mark

cal found an old pair of glasses for ethan and brought them in for him and they’re circular and big mac says they make him look like harry potter and he says he “actually had to stop wearing them when the books came out” so the first book came out when he would’ve been about 10 and you’re telling me he still has them kept somewhere where he couldn’t find them but cal could?? also i thought that glasses prescriptions tend to change over time so how realistic is it for his to have barely changed in 20 years? i’m definitely overthinking this lol

iain’s confused about jez flirting with women

mark saying it’s all above board and they waited until she turned 18🤢🤢 he says even his probation officer knows i’m sorry his PROBATION OFFICER?!?! isn’t the probation officer’s job to prevent reoffending?? and somehow allowing a nonce who went to prison for sleeping with a 13 year old to get back with that same girl now he’s out doesn’t count as reoffending just because she’s now an adult??????

ethan’s struggling with treating a load of gastroenteritis patients because he’s still feeling nauseous agshjddj

fiona’s pregnant and it’s ectopic but she doesn’t believe rita that it’s life threatening and not a viable pregnancy :( i mean that isn’t surprising really why was rita even allowed to keep treating her like???

lol iain telling jez he saw him kissing that bloke earlier so why doesn’t he just be straight with him (funny choice of words lmao) and tell him he’s gay and jez pretends he fancies iain sjskdkfk

jez invites iain into the shower with him LMAOO

zoe telling connie she’s looking to broaden her horizons :(

robyn’s still trying to be friends with dylan and says they made a good team today and he’s like “i don’t do group hugs” and she suggests he buy her a drink instead so he gives her some money and walks off��😭

uh oh big mac offers to return the drug lock up keys for robyn

jez still coming on to iain until he’s like “woah you know i’m straight” and jez goes “so is spaghetti… until it gets hot”

he finally tells him he’s “not 100% gay, not 100% straight. it’s more of a 50/50 thing.” would be great if the writers weren’t so afraid of the word bisexual😭

jacob finds ethan’s glasses and coat on a traffic cone outside the pub and ethan goes “ohhhh silly cone valley” the others are like “huh?” and he says he put his glasses there for safe keeping😭😭

max goes “harry potter and the drunken confession” and jack’s like “ohh that’s who you look like!” lmao😭

ethan says he only wants a lemonade. he’s having a night off lol

fuck off mark🤬 leave rita alone!

mac gives mercedes some stolen drugs😬

[forfoxessake]

JUNE (2023) - movies

Lady Chatterley’s Lover (2022)   Directed by Laure de Clermont-Tonnerre

Emma Corrin -  Jack O’Connell

 It's been a while since I read this and I get the impression that they made some different choices in regard to a few characters (the nanny/maid) that I didn't dislike. It's not a groundbreaking film, it feels more romantic than the book sets out to be but overall they do a good job. Emma Corrin's is so thin that it honestly bothered me a little.

Ammonite (2020)   Directed by Francis Lee

Kate Winslet -  Saoirse Ronan

There have been better lesbian films in recent years, and this is so small and quiet that it pales in comparison. But something, in the end, made it stand out. There's a scene where we are led to believe they will get a happy ending when suddenly the mood shifts and we see Kate Winslet's character for who she is, Mary is not only misunderstood because she is gay in a time where women had no autonomy, she is a person who has never felt seen - by the society and by the people who she loves. And that's a painful note to end at.

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)  Directed by Martin McDonagh

Colin Farrell -  Brendan Gleeson -  Brendan Gleeson -  Kerry Condon

I was asking myself why was everyone so obsessed with this movie about two old dudes, a donkey, and a tiny island. It did not prepare me for how WILD this is.

Willow (1988)  Directed by Ron Howard

Warwick Davis -  Val Kilmer

I named my first dog when I was 4 after this movie - It was actually Billy Willow after much insistence from my mother. But 30 years later I barely remember what this was about and I thought it was time to revisit this after the release of the follow-up series. It's better than I expected but still very much a movie from its time. The old woman fighting hardcore scene is still very unique and a badass thing to have in a fantasy film.

Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020)  Directed by Madeleine Parry

Hannah is genuinely funny but never more so when she is going on about art grievances. Best use of a college art degree ever.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)  Directed by Halina Reijn

Amandla Stenberg - Lee Pace -  Maria Bakalova -  Rachel Sennott -  Pete Davidson

The sort of movie we all need sometimes, dumb teenagers being extra dumb together alone on a spooky evening. Extra points for a super cool ending.

Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022)  Directed by Cooper Raiff

  Cooper Raiff - Dakota Johnson -  Leslie Mann

A cute quiet movie, exactly that moment in time when you feel like you don't know where you are or where you are going, and want to find the answers to life in someone else, but that is not the way to fix anything, and this movie does a great service is showing us that we are just afraid.

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me (2022)  Directed by Alek Keshishian

 Being open about your fears and health issues, be they mental or physical, it's in my opinion, the bravest thing a famous person can do.

Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)  Directed by Hayao Miyazaki

I never really got the overall fascination with studio ghibli until I saw this. Kiki's is the perfect movie, it makes you feel warm inside and look at yourself and your adventures in a whole new way. I get it now.

Shotgun Wedding (2022) -  Directed by Jason Moore

Jennifer Lopez -  Josh Duhamel -  Jennifer Coolidge -  Lenny Kravitz

Sometimes all you need is a silly action-packed fun movie where nothing makes sense but you love every minute of it anyway.

[teledild0nix]

@tackytigerfic tagged me in the stats game, for which i am very grateful bc i love these games!

so i've written 119 fics across 11 fandoms, but i'm going to stick to my HP stuff just for the sake of a cohesive list. i'm also going to stick to fics with 1k+ wordcount bc drabbles feel like cheating a bit. also even all these have over 1k hits which is like!!! imagine a thousand people picking up your story off the shelf at the library or bookstore and reading it or even just quietly thumbing through it or thinking hmm i like the look of this and i'm going to take it home. and then they don't get to it. but still! it's kind of a staggering number.

Without Pretense (3.5K) harry and draco are friends but still dancing around whether they'll wind up dating. draco gets curious about harry acting strange one night, and after following him, discovers harry doing something bizarre but very harry. i have a soft spot for this story! i love all my stories really. obviously a lot of the emotional catharsis in this story comes from the release of tension between harry and draco (they DO get together in the end!) but also. this story is partly about how rootless harry feels as an orphan (and a Black orphan tbh!) and the silly, reckless, loving thing he does with that feeling.

Forth They Went Together (11.8K) so this is the 4th and final part of my moonrise series, and being part 4 of a 60K series is kind of a high barrier to entry to be fair. so i'm not surprised this fic has relatively fewer kudos. also it's a christmas story and i kinda feel like ppl don't like that? anyway, not super plotty. draco is a lycanthropy rights activist (and a werewolf) and a reform bill has just been passed granting lycanthropes some rights that have been denied them, in large part due to draco's work and his testimony to the wizengamot, and he's So Excited! this story is about the two of them basking in the love and light of their chosen family, really. there are also a couple of moments of sharp contrast between draco's chosen family and his family of origin. one of my favorite things in this fic is the relationship between draco and ginny! i love their stupid nicknames for each other. best friend shit. i also LOVE harry dressing up as santa (so does draco lol...)

Homing (8.6K) this is another christmas story! i do kinda feel like ppl don't rlly like reading christmas stories in this fandom? and yet i'm working on another one (which isn't actually about christmas but it'll be kind of holidayish)(i digress). draco gets disowned by his parents for refusing to marry astoria (his best friend) and astoria and harry conspire to have him stay with harry at grimmauld place. there are some letters back and forth between draco and astoria which is always fun. draco is a pianist who plays at a muggle gay bar, which i love. my spouse noted that i (who have a complicated relationship with my homophobic parents) keep giving draco a clean break in my stories. changing for the better is exquisite and painful, and not everyone you wish would come with you always does.

The Joy of Bleeding (6K) draco has just lost his estranged mother, and through a confluence of factors, harry is the eldest member of the Black family and has to assist with her burial, as draco no longer has the legal right to. oh also harry is draco's ex boyfriend who's still in love with him. this is another story about loving the people who are there for you and loving the people who fail you. draco's chosen family rallies around him, and everything sucks and hurts so bad but there are beautiful and sublime things too. i'm not going to say what the opening scene is because i think it's better unspoiled, but i really liked that choice.

Solarium (10.3 K) this is part 2 of moonrise, my werewolf draco series. i wrote this in 2020 and it shows! harry gets cursed through handling a cursed artifact at grimmauld place (where he and draco happen to live) and winds up in the hospital for a few weeks, struggling to throw off a sleeping curse. he's miserable and bored and his mind is foggy and he's scared he'll never be the same again. and also he doesn't want to move out of grimmauld place -_- draco is so worried and loves harry so much and is so fucking frustrated with him for not taking the obvious precaution. they figure it out, though. i really like the scenes with hagrid in this story. nobody includes hagrid for some reason, but he's So Important. also love the very last scene. more about how harry's relationship with his background so to speak, as a Black orphan (all my harry potters are Black; just remember that when you read my work!) i'll include a snippet bc i just can't resist

thanks again for tagging me, @tackytigerfic!!!! i love these games! i'm not sure who's already done this but anyone who wants to play should play and feel free to tag me so i can see your work!

[jonathanrook]

🎬📺share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order🎮🃏 Then send this to 10 (anon or not, your choice)

fun fact! much like my eighteen page long fanfic rec list, i have a seven page long list of my favorite characters with extensive annotations. i picked ten of them and just copy pasted their entire description. i know this is just a silly ask game and no one really cares but. unfortunately you came to my house w this so you have to deal with the consequences. also here's the emoji key:

bill cipher (gravity falls)😈👹😳💲 i can and will fuck the triangle what are you gonna fucking do about it. i am not immune to tumblr sexyman or goth girls. look, at least i’m not trying to literally humanize him; take the evil bastard triangle or take nothing at all!!! i blame the scene where he steals the teeth from the deer and then puts them back. i also blame alex for being such a good voice actor. regardless i’m walking out into the nevada desert as we speak.

dorian gray (penny dreadful)🏳‍🌈💕😈👹😳👀💲 yea i watch penny dreadful for the plot *fast forwards through scenes dorian isn’t in* anyway every lesbian is legally allowed one real man to be unapologetically attracted to before the government takes notice and begins to tax them and reeve carney is my freebie. also idk if he counts as a monster but i’m saying close enough bc this is my list and i can do whatever i want.

guillermo (wwdits)🏳‍🌈💕😈👀 this man is too fucking pretty that’s illegal. i can’t believe harvey guillen invented gender good for him.

the handler (the umbrella academy)😈😳 mommy? sorry. like, the milf of all time. yea i watch the umbrella academy for the plot *fast forwards through scenes the handler isn't in*

red x (teen titans)💅😈😳💲 this man is transmasc and there’s nothing you can do about it. the sexiest line delivery in the entire show is in x when robin catches him trying to steal the xenothium and locks him in a cage and he goes, “c’mon kid. you don’t really think this little play pen can hold me?” anyway sir my highest score on the bdsm test is brat tam– *i’m taken out back and you hear a single muffled gunshot*

richie (it)🏳‍🌈🧠💕🧸👀🐺💲 absolute definition of character of all time. and you KNOW he can’t go back to childhood what the fuck!!! i would die for this man but ig eddie beat me to it yikes. the first time i watched ch2 i cried about it for twelve hours straight. i think i have grounds to sue muschietti for this unlicensed use of my image ngl.

scene (mymusic)💅🧠💕🧸💲 MY LITERAL BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER! sometimes i forget she’s not actually gay in canon bc it makes sense!! indie and jeff are comphet and flowchart is a creep! open your eyes sheeple!! conversely i think she’s the only character on this list who’s neurodivergent canonically by name so that’s dope! we stan a dyslexic queen whose disability doesn’t weigh her down!!

topher (dollhouse)🧠😈😳 every lesbian is legally allowed one real man to be unapologetically attracted to before the government takes notice and begins to tax them and fran kranz is the reason i have to pay. in this house we ignore the season finales. my boy is alive and there’s nothing you can do about it! this man is my poor little meow meow.

vampire willow (btvs)🏳‍🌈😈👹😳💲 yes she’s her own character. probably my actual gay awakening whoops. the wish?? hello?? you want a puppy miss i can bark. also unsure whether to mark her as real gay or fake gay but willow calls her “evil, skanky, and a little gay” which is a) gender and b) canon enough for me.

will (stranger things)🏳‍🌈🧠💕🧸🐺💲 look my mans is relatable for several reasons but the snow ball scene at the end of s2 was designed specifically to kill me in particular. i believe in will the wise supremacy. he just wanted to play dnd! we’ve all been there! oh god have i been there!!! i cried so hard after s3ep3 that my mom asked me if i’m gay whoops. sexy bitches don’t come out they just talk about how much they like richie tozier and will byers until the people around them take notice.

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