#anyways this got real long real fast LMAO

[vixnprince]

// I’ll be honest, I kinda wish I’d projected my apprehension around sex onto this oc. There’s something liberating about writing Sion as a bit of a hoe sometimes, but I’ve struggled to process my own feelings around being thirty and still too terrified and unable to connect with anyone enough to take the plunge that is having sex. Bc that’s something I’ve noticed about myself lately. I don’t think I ever will have sex, and that’s fine, but part of me is also kinda sad that I feel too self conscious and uncertain and insecure to trust anyone enough to share that kind of intimacy. I’ve been single for my entire adult life, and I think that’s had an effect on me, and I wanna explore that

[yarrowleef]

guess who finally got ✨✨medicated✨✨

[unproduciblesmackdown]

bonus thing i cherish in this shot is that it's the one time it's immediately noticeable that her hair length is uneven....let's go Cutting One's Own Hair (With Or Without A Mirror) look havers irl (b/c of cutting one's own hair with or without a mirror, maybe) & even when it's recreated on purpose like so

[apathyfairy]

i’m not even kidding everytime i experience any sort of joy whatsoever something bad happens it’s like in friends when phoebe was killing people everytime she went to the dentist but for real

[phoenixcatch7]

Nearly at the end of bayonetta and honestly whoever green lit that missile/Jeanne final fight chapter -

[writingstoraes]

total swiftie 🎶

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: this was requested but somehow i cant find it in my inbox :(( anyway i hope u like this, anon! happy the eras tour 🤍 sorry this took so long lol

about: it's your life mission to convert charles into a total swiftie.

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, isahernaez, carlossainz55, and 234,592 others

yourusername i once believed love would be burning red — but it's golden, like daylight 🌅

appreciation post for the personification of the lover album, songs and the entire english vocabulary are not enough to express how much i adore u 🤍

(ps. pls join me in being a swiftie baby)

tagged: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc As much as I want to, I just can't grasp the folklore love triangle, amoúr

f1swift LMAO NOT THE FOLKLORE LOVE TRIANGLE??? Y/N SO REAL FOR THIS

lecsmidnight absolutely right queen charles is such a lover album

sainzz55 more like 1989???

pierregasly I caught Charles today watching the Bejeweled music video if it helps 😅

charles_leclerc MATE

yourusername awwww baby :((

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, and 1,329,112 others

charles_leclerc Spontaneous adventure around the city at night + my passenger princess ❤️ (She races me for the AUX and blasts Taylor songs the whole ride in her efforts to convert me into a swiftie)

tagged: yourusername

yourusername anddd how am i doing so far?

charles_leclerc Getting close 😘

leclercs13 y/n converting charles into a swiftie is just so real of her

carlossainz55 Just be a swiftie Charles, Midnights is so good 😁

yourusername SEE YOU GET IT CARLOS

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, leclerc_pascale, lorenzotl, and 1,892,330 others

charles_leclerc How I masterminded my way into catching my girlfriend by surprise with the fact that I actually am a Swiftie:

1. Adore how passionate she becomes when talking about her favorite artist

2. Let her rant about album theories, which "Taylor's version" we get next, and finally listen properly when she explains the folklore love triangle

3. Learn Taylor Swift's entire discography, from debut until now

4. Pester the whole grid in helping me get The Eras front row tour tickets

5. Surprise her with the concert tickets and just watch her have the time of her life (surprised that I know the lyrics to the songs)

6. Just when she thinks the night ends at the concert, take her to a magnificent dinner and propose using a "Paper Rings" reference.

isahernaez Oh my god the big surprise is finally here! Congratulations, you two 🥂

lecs13 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE LAST STEP IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT

sainzzhero charles proposing what the actual FUCK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

danielricciardo ...I am so honored to be the one who got the tickets (me and my fast typing skills)

landonorris You only got those cause my computer lagged 😒

carlossainz55 You two arguing I was literally the first one on the website

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon23, pierregasly, and 507,991 others

yourusername i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings, charles_leclerc 💍

except you actually got me a real ring, but i would have said yes as long as it's you. je tàime, my love 🤍

charles_leclerc Excited to spend the rest of my life screaming Taylor Swift songs in the car with you, baby 😚

c2legends such goals im going to cry

charles1655 GOD ME WHEN

lewishamilton Congratulations, Y/N and Charles 🥂 Swiftie Charles is a refreshing new side of him hahaha

carlossainz55 Best wishes, you two! Please remember: I was the first on the ticket website. Don't believe whatever Daniel says 😁

arthur_leclerc Welcome to the family, Y/N! I also want tour tickets 🙏

--------

tagging: @slytherheign

notes: this took some time to make lol ANYWAYYYY thank you so much for reading and lmk what u guys think! 🤍 tumblr is giving me a hard time right now apparently the formatting is weird in ios devices 🥹 like the bold texts are all off n shit and it wont let me fix it 😭

[slut4thebroken]

Glory hole hcs

Idk don’t ask lmao. I just randomly got an idea

(Jackson Rippner, Jonathan Crane, Lenny Miller, Neil Lewis, Raymond Leon, Robert Capa, Robert Fischer, Tommy Shelby)

TW: Misogyny. Lots of it lol

Jackson Rippner - Between jobs, when he doesn’t have the time or energy to seduce a woman and take her home or hire a hooker, he’d just go to a glory hole instead. Sometimes all he wants is just a tight, warm cunt to fuck away all his stress with. He’d be really agressive about it too, knowing she pretty much has no choice but to take it. If he’s fucking a particularly good cunt, sometimes he’ll imagine waiting outside for her to leave, then dragging her into an alley or his car to fuck her again— for free this time. Those thoughts always had him coming just a little too fast though.

Jonathan Crane - With his antisocial and narcissistic personality, he doesn’t get very many bitches lmao. He also thinks that hookers are just a little too intimidating for his liking. But glory holes are easy— familiar. It’s like fucking a fleshlight, but warm and sometimes able to squeeze his cock tight enough to almost force him out. Plus it’s easier to let out stress by pounding something with half of his body, rather than using his hand, no matter how hard or fast he strokes it. It’s just different.

Lenny Miller - Honestly he probably went to one looking into a lead for a case and couldn’t stop thinking about it until eventually he decided to go back, not on the clock this time. He understands the appeal almost instantly, but… he prefers being able to play with a pair of tits, leave marks all over out of unwarranted possession, and see the look on her face when she falls apart on his cock. He likes having power over a person rather than a hole.

Neil Lewis - Neil would go simply because he’s never seen anything like that in real life, only in porn. He’d get there and feel like his heart was about to beat out of his chest, but he’d go in anyway. Honestly, he’d probably come in like… less than five minutes. But these kinds of things are a little expensive so he’d endure the overstimulation just to get his moneys worth. But he probably gets bored of it pretty quickly because it’s basically just how he gets off at home, only he’s not even watching porn, he’s just fucking something.

Raymond Leon - He doesn’t have time for relationships and for some reason he thinks he’s above hookers. So during a particulary stressful case, he’ll blow off steam by fucking a cunt. It’s quick and easy which is why he likes it so much. Another thing he likes about it is the fact that it’s emotionless. Not that hookers aren’t, but technically lust is an emotion. He doesn’t have to feel anything or show any emotions (even just lust) when he gets off like this, all he has to focus on is coming.

Robert Capa - He gives off the vibe of either being very very single, or in a long term, loving, committed relationship. When he’s single though, he’s awkward, doesn’t really like most people, thinks he’s above them. That kind of attitude makes it pretty hard to get hoes lolll. And he seems like the type where any sex is intimate and vulnerable to him, even with a hooker. The act in and of itself is what’s intimate and that makes it harder for him to just fuck anyone since he doesn’t like showing any vulnerability at all. But at least if he goes to a glory hole, he’s not fucking a woman, he’s fucking a cunt.

Robert Fischer - Being next in line to inherit a billion dollar company, people know who he is. Obviously not everyone, but enough. Which is why he likes glory holes. He gets to fuck something and not have to worry about his reputation potentially going to shit by hiring the wrong hooker. When he gets the opportunity, he’ll fuck one of the many girls who throw themselves at him. But if he’s worked up and overwhelmed or too tired to give a shit about making a girl come, he finds his way back to glory holes.

Thomas Shelby - He probably has a specific one he goes to every time. And in that one, he fucks one girl (his favorite) every time. He doesn’t go often because he has enough cunts throwing themselves at him daily, but when he wants a cunt who’s almost too tight and doesn’t moan in an exaggerated way that borders on annoying, that’s when he’ll go to a glory hole. Even though she’s just a sleeve for his cock, he likes teasing her, edging both of them together just to torture her a little bit and drag it out for himself.

[gofishygo]

mito mito mito hihi 😋

i’ve been having some thoughts n i felt like sharing w the class newayssss

so i was having bubble tea earlier and i started thinking,,,,what cod characters would like it? i feel like price def wouldn’t,,simon wouldn’t mind it but he does def think its too sweet and proper tea is superior and blah blah blah (i acc don’t know im kinda divided on that like i hc him as a sweet tooth but bubble tea,,,ehhh i feel like he wouldn’t like it all that much like he’d be all grumbly about it,,, idfk

johnny and gaz i think would like it lots ,,

i also think alex wouldn’t like it abd farah would (i js like hc farah as this secret softie ok leave me alone 😞)

but THAT got me thinking,,,, what other food preferences would they have ?? i think gaz would rlly like sushi (saw a fan art of him on a sushi date w the reader and i forgot who made it but ):$/:)/&!:!!!!! it was so cute) and i also think gaz would handle spicy food well ?? and he would like seafood in general methinks (tryna think of some select seafood items he wouldn’t like but im drawing a blank bc im vegetarian shusbssjnsuen)

idrk ab simon and johnny and price,,,,,,out of them 3, i feel like simon or johnny would have the biggest sweet tooth (they’re on like completely dif ends of the spectrum character wise but shh i js know it) but they all eat A SHIT TON like the food could be burned or too salty or smth but if they’ve js come back from a mission then they’re eating that shit UP. and asking for seconds. and thirds. they would still give u food feedback if it’s some other day tho

also johnny is extremely passionate about haggis. no i have never tried it yes i js know he is ok moving on

KONIGGGG hmmmm,,,, i have no fucking idea lmao i think? a lot of german cusine involves bread and stuff,,,so……………i think he’d have rlly bland meals idk

i’ve been rlly into keegan lately but i cant come up w anything for him aaaa

also gaz would be the only one who knows how to use chopsticks. the others would learn fast being in the military and all but gaz and chopstick skills js make sense???

ANYWAY im soso sry for rambling sm lmao this is a lot of words,,,,,and this isn’t a req by any means !!! js needed to hear ur thoughts bc food is js calling to me like “ok but would blank character like this” like. urgh. ok im done now i think but yeah food preferences for cod characters of ur choice

ALSO !!! THE IOS SHARK STICKERS REMIND ME OF U,,,,,look at them$:!!;&:!3 OK IM ACC DONE NOW BYE BEY MITO HIPE U DONT FALL ASLEPE READING ALL THAT

AHHH hi weebun !! ^^ i was literally having bubble tea with my sister like a few hours ago and when i checked the inbox n saw this i BOLTED !! sorry for never responding to this, i forgot inbox existed..,

notes: shittily wrote as this as a warmup/just general yap :> sorry for messiness and incoordination.., platonic, no warnings !! unless ur lactose intolerant idk

so you'll be jus chillin w the 141 on base and then say something like "boba is absolute gas shits better than normal tea" and of course, since the majority of the taskforce is british, you get absolutely fucking jumped for it. like- keep in mind, you say this price, the NUMBER ONE TEA AND BISCUTS DEFENDER, so you do end up getting toilet duty for a week with the explanation of 'uncordial behaviour.'

but after your deployment, you are the one to arrange where the 141 meet up. it's a little ritual you guys have developed to stay connected in between missions, one that makes your friendship seem a bit more real. sometimes the only thing that keeps your eyes open and heart pumping. and since you're an absolute fucking menace, you ask if you can meet around the heart of london- and then drag them all into the nearest bubble tea store you can.

-

price... doesn't end up liking it. takes a total of two sips, nearly chokes on the pearls, and then sets the cup down. he claims he's been around long enough to know that this- like many other foods, is probably some 'trendy millennial bullshit that'll disappear in a solid few', but that doesn't help ease the insane side eye that he gets from the cashier.

but to your surprise, ghost seems somewhat okay with it. his face doesnt really change (from what you can tell- his mouth is still hidden due to some face mask he put on), but he seems neutral, relaxed, even. he mutters something along the lines of how it isn't too bad, but it doesn't beat a cuppa- to which you chose to ignore, and how he'll probably just stick to having an earl grey in the mornings. but a few months later, you catch him at the same boba store, and you cant help but giggle to yourself.

soap fucking inhales the drink. its genuinely concerning, to say the very least. he seems to like.. unhinge his jaw like some kind of snake, and then inhales the whole drink in what you think is a millisecond. and since he's the only scotsman on the team- thinks the whole 'tea n biscuits' ritual his colleagues have is utter stupidity, so not only does he now FREQUENTLY drink boba because he likes it- he also drinks out of utter spite.

gaz is the only one with a seemingly respectable opinion about boba, unfortunately. he's had it before, multiple times- it appeals to his sweet tooth and is the occasional treat after long missions. but unlike you, gaz does not value peace, and seems to keep egging soap on in chugging unreasonable amounts of the drink. (and he doesnt mention it, as he does not want to face the same punishment as you did, but he thinks that bubble tea is sometimes, just sometimes better than his cuppa.)

masterlist (some of my other stuff is better promise)

[whyse7vn]

FUCK MARRY KILL -

[ot7 x reader]

GOLDEN OUT SOON

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jin: just googled what champagne confetti means and wtf????

jimin: the fact that you had to google that 💀

namjoon: it’s been how long since the song came out?

y/n: wow jin ur really old as hell

💀💀💀💀💀

jin: IM NOT

hobi: bro had to google champagne confetti 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

jin: A LOT of people don’t know what that means

tae: a lot of old people 💀💀💀

jin: can you stop with the skulls

jimin: 💀💀💀💀

jin: i bet jungkook doesn’t even know what that means

jk: i do

why would i say it if i didn’t know it stupid

hobi: jungkook just called u stupid 💀

jin: bye

y/n: i’m turning evil

hobi: yesss feminism 💞💞

jin: how?

y/n: i just am

stay out of women’s business

jk: no guys it’s true she didn’t make me breakfast today 😰😰😰😰😰

yoongi: are you 5? why does she make u breakfast

jk: love

you wouldn’t get it

tae: i love an evil woman

they get me going

if you know what i mean

wink wink

y/n tell them what me you and namjoon did yesterday lol

namjoon: shut up

y/n: if you keep talking i’m going to block

you

tae: baby 💔

she doesn’t mean that guys

jimin: what did you guys do?

y/n: nothing important

hobi: i’ve decided that enhypen are my biggest enemies in life

I HATE THEM

jk: i love jikjin ❤️

namjoon: that was treasure

jk: no

namjoon: ok

jimin: what did enhypen do to you

hobi: exist

i’m not fucking with them

the vibes are off

and there are too many australians

y/n: isn’t it jake the only australian one?

yoongi: why do you know his name

y/n: because i’m nice and remember people’s names

hobi: i’ll literally kill jake like wdym oh naur??? like only i can say that

fucking bitch

UGH

i hate him

jimin: wow ok

namjoon: hoseok be the bigger person here they are kids

hobi: i’m skinny

bigger person?? absolutely not!

jimin: he kinda real for that idk

y/n: LMAO

jin: i’m saying fuck enhypen AND newjeans

hobi: literally

y/n: haters

jimin: NO FUCK NEWJEANS FOR REAL HAD ME DANCING TO ETA

LIKE I’M A MAN

jin: ha

jimin: what’s funny?

jin: 😚

jimin: i literally agreed with you idk why ur trying to fight me rn

jin: i didn’t even say anything

jimin: you didn’t have to

namjoon: ok both of you stop

jk: what if i was a giant meatball

yoongi: that’s nasty

tae: no cuz i get it

are you the meatball or is the meatball you

if you know what i mean

jk: i know

tae: no bro

we know

yoongi: ur sick

both of you are extremely sick

hobi: wish enhypen was sick

with the plague or something

y/n: that’s not nice :(

hobi: i would say i’m sorry

but i’m not

and i don’t lie

i just don’t

jk: guys can we cook rocks

y/n: no

jk: why not

y/n: they are rocks

jk: ok but have you tried

y/n: shut up

jk: yes

hobi: i could so play alexander hamilton

jimin: isn’t that the guy who drives the fast car?

jk: the fast and furious man?

tae: vin diesel????

yoongi: lewis hamilton you fucking idiots

hobi: i’m talking about the founding father

jk: what did ur father find???

namjoon: isn’t that an american thing?

jimin: finding fathers?

y/n: i can find mine

jin: so can i

and last time i’m checked i’m not american

tae: does america think koreans are fatherless?

yoongi: you act like u are don’t blame them tbh

hobi: no guys don’t you know the musical??

jin: about fatherless koreans?

jk: or the car man?

i thought that was a normal movie

did i miss the singing part???

y/n: omg didn’t jimin do a song for fast and furious??

jimin: OMG I DID

namjoon: wait i’m confused

hobi: lin-manuel miranda???

tae: wtf is that

jin: a sauce?

y/n: is that not the lip bite guy

hobi: YES

yoongi: give up hoseok

hobi: i have faith in them

yoongi: don’t

hobi: ur right…

jimin: anyways

tae: thinking hard rn

namjoon: i’m impressed

tae: thank you its the first time i’ve ever done this

i’m fucking with it lowkey

yoongi: go away

tae: can someone ask me what i’m thinking about

jimin: no

tae: since you asked i’ve got a really important question

jk: i’ll answer

tae: no you won’t

hobi: y/n do you want cookies?

y/n: PLEASE

jin: can i have some

hobi: no

jin: :/

tae: y/n

y/n: what

jk: 😍

tae: fuck marry kill

like out of us

rn

this shouldn’t be hard

y/n: ur right it’s not

fuck jin marry hobi kill jimin

tae: just fell to my knees

jimin: kinkyyyy

hobi: 🥺

jin: real!!!!!!!

jk: wait what

yoongi: lol

tae: clutching my chest

namjoon: would you all get a grip

tae: i have a grip on my heart

i’m having a heart attack

ohmygod

it’s fading to black

help me

beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeppp

(i’m dead)

yoongi: thank god

jk: y/n you can kill me yk?

won’t even be mad i swear

like fr

as long as ur thinking of me ha

idm!!!

y/n: but i picked jimin to kill

jk: oh lmao yeah!

you picked jimin

silly me lol

yeah

ur right lol

ha

jimin

yeah

jin: you wanna fuck rn lol?

yoongi: shut up

jin: ur mad

yoongi: i’m not

it’s just a stupid game 😂

jin: EWWW YOONGI JUST USED “😂”

i could throw up

someone kick him

jimin: when you kill me can you do it by strangling me

i feel like that would be the best way to go

namjoon: gross?

hobi: i think we should have a spring wedding that would be SAURRRR cute

y/n: NAURRRR ur so right

jk: ha ha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

jimin: wow he’s insane

jk: i could die better than you

i would die instantly

i wouldn’t fight back

i wouldn’t struggle

i would just die

jimin: the struggling is the best part

namjoon: stop

yoongi: fucking freaks

tae: she’s in love with me i know it

y/n: did you not just have a heart attack?

tae: can you kiss me like yesterday

y/n: absolutely not!

tae: wow u want me so fucking bad

jin: yesterday?

jimin: let’s a have threesome

hobi: bro can’t count

jimin: no

i just don’t vibe with jin fr

jin: ur such a hater it’s crazy this is why she’s killing you

and fucking ME

jk: LOL

LOOOOOOOOOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLL

y/n: guys can we talk about rn gojo pls I’m feeling sentimental

namjoon: who is that?

y/n: sighs looks out window

yoongi: don’t let her start

y/n: gojo was a hero to many a enemy to some a teacher to a few but to me

to me gojo was everything

jin: already don’t care can you come over lol

y/n: you want an in person gojo explanation???

jin: if that is what people are calling head now absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!

y/n: jin i could cry

i’ll be there 😭🙏🏽

tae: me and joon are here

well like more me than joon but he can come if you want

i’m here babe

pls

don’t go to jin

jimin: wtf are you talking about 💀

jk: she didn’t even kill me guys

wow

like

wow

she didn’t even kill me….

hobi: she married me

jimin: ur clearly not on her mind bro

jk: no ur right

why would i even be on her mind anyways

i’m just a stupid idiot that no one loves

or wants to kill

y/n: get a grip

jk: grip gotten

yoongi: ur all dumb as hell

y/n: don’t be mad i didn’t pick you

yoongi: i’m not

jimin: iM nOt

yoongi: she literally killed you stfu

jimin: so?? at least i was on her mind

jk: WHY DIDNT YOU PICK ME OHMYGODDDDDIDJDJJDJJz nxbsjsh

tae: ok but be fr did you forget how to spell my name y/n be honest

tae: my name is tae

y/n: i know!

jk: i thought it was taehyung?

tae: CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP RN WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES

jk: i’m sorry ur right

no one loves me

hit me in the head with a shovel

tae: ok LOOOOLLL but out of the remaining people who would you fuck?

y/n: joonie 🙏🏽

yoongi: u think ur so funny

y/n: ?

sorry for speaking my truth

jin: literally

tae: NAMJOON FR????

AFTER ALL I DID

and you pick the man that basically sat behind you the whole time

jin: wait

namjoon: taehyung

tae: WHATEVER

jin: waittttttttttttttttttttt

y/n: let’s not wait actually

jk: y/n are you sure you don’t want to kill me

jimin: shut the hell up

tae: AHHHHHHHZHSHSHSUDUDH

UGHHHHSYSZHSSBDBDN

YOU WANT ME

i hate life

you want me so bad

i know it

FUCK YOU

tae left “GOLDEN OUT SOON”

yoongi: wtf

jimin: wow

hobi: didn’t know it was that srs

jin: i have a theory

namjoon: you don’t

jin: no i definitely do

y/n: shut the fuck up

jin: wow u guys are nasty

yoongi: ????

jk: y/n did you change ur mind?

jimin kicked jk from “ GOLDEN OUT SOON”

—

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @junghoseokshusband

[cat3ch1sm]

⚰️~ hello, everyone! welcome back to another post. i finally finished my masterlist, so now it will be updated as i write and upload new works. see my pinned post to find the masterlist <33 anyway, here are some nsfw jjk headcanons. ive done these before, with death note and hxh, and they can be found in the masterlist! i will probably do this for all the fandoms i write for lmao 💚 enjoy, ily <33

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ nsfw ahead, fem!reader, eating out

𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐭 😺? 𝐟𝐭. 𝐣𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞! 𝐟𝐭. (aged up!) 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢, 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚, 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢, 𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢

𝐲𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢

some people are weird about eating 😺, but not itadori. he’ll do whatever you want to make you feel good. he might not really know what he’s doing at first, but a nudge in the right direction and he’s got it- just tell him where it feels best when he runs his tongue over your sex and itadori will never forget. he’s really eager with it, too, kinda like a puppy tbh with his tongue flicking up and down your clit. (a/n-bitch what the fuck kinda comparison is that stop😭😭) itadori asks constantly “does this feel good?” “does that feel good?” and he’ll just keep going like that even when he’s obviously doing well and you can’t even get a word out to answer him. he’s really good at making you finish, not too fast and not too slow, and he’ll swallow whatever comes out of you.

𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐢

nobara, believe it or not, is a tiny bit shy about being eaten out or eating someone else out. still, she’s not selfish, so nobara will definitely eat you out if you really want her to. she might start out a bit tentative. she isn’t really the “does this feel good?” type like itadori, but she does pay attention to your body language, like where she kisses you that makes your breath hitch or where she licks that makes your moans louder. when nobara gets the hang of it, though, she kinda gets cocky, but not in a genuinely mean way. she’s more like a soft dominant type, like “that feel good, huh, baby?” or “you like when i do this, don’t you?” AGH i wish this girl was real im literally so weak for her.

𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

suspiciously enough, he’s very good at it (what girl taught u this nigga?🤨) the only thing is he can be a tiny bit timid, so he’s a little slow to make you cum. as a result, though, megumi’s great at edging, however unintentionally. he can stall an orgasm for just long enough that it feels twice as amazing when you finally come. he is also big on foreplay, and makes you wait until he actually puts his mouth on you. expect lots of light thigh kisses and breathplay before megumi actually eats you out. he also likes to use his fingers on you simultaneously, except he goes agonizingly slowly on purpose just to listen to your needy whimpers. he’s honesty just as cocky as someone like gojo would be doing this, just in a much quieter way, but you can see it in his eyes.

𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢

he eats your 😺 mainly for his own pleasure. because of this, he likes to prolong the time before you come as much as possible- toge’s very big on edging. obviously he can’t dirty talk, but his actions speak for themselves. he kisses you a lot, both during and after eating you out as praise. when you grind your hips into his tongue, toge squeezes your thighs to let you know you’re doing a good job. he also does not care about wiping his mouth off after you cum in his mouth before kissing you- he loves hearing the tiny whimpers you emit when you taste yourself on his lips.

𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧

i kinda hc that maki is wlw anyway (please don’t kill me), so she’s not new to eating 😺. at the same time, though, that means not every girl likes the same things, so she’s very attentive to how your body reacts and asks every now and then if what she’s doing feels good. maki is big on edging and overstimulation- she won’t let you come for the longest time and make you beg for it and then immediately after make you come until you physically can’t anymore. also soft dom energy- “you’re doing so well, pretty girl” or “come on, beautiful, i know you can come just one more time for me, okay?” although maki does overstimulate you, she isn’t mean about it, and will definitely periodically make sure she isn’t doing too much. she’s also the type who lets out these low, barely audible moans when she’s eating you out- that’s how much she enjoys making you feel good.

[capobegone]

The Hashiras’ Starbucks Orders (As told by a barista)

Capo job reveal! During my lovely six months working at Starbucks, I have acquired enough knowledge of my craft to confidently predict people’s orders. Just today, a lady came up who looked like she would order a caramel ribbon crunch five minutes before closing, and she proceeded to do exactly that! Which got me thinking—I love my job, and I love KNY, so why not use this superpower to match the drink to the Hashira?

So, uh, here we are!

Kanroji Mitsuri

-Starting off strong with our pink drink girlie! To be specific, it’s a pink drink with matcha cold foam. One of my coworkers gets some variation of this regularly and says it’s delicious.

-I couldn’t decide between matcha or pink drink for her so we met in the middle!

Kocho Shinobu

-In my heart, I desperately want to give her a Dragon Drink, but we all know that is not what she would get. Perhaps on a special occasion!

-Shinobu is a black brewed coffee type of gal, because it’s fast and efficient and will get her through the day so she can return to her Douma-killing, hospital-running routine! Girlboss!

Iguro Obanai

-We know from canon that Obanai can’t have heavier things without feeling sick, so one sip from Mitsuri’s drink would probably kill him instantly. Enter the light and fresh passion tea! It’s herbal and easy on the palate, which is right up his alley. His Starbucks dates with Mitsuri are officially saved!

-The pup cup is for Kaburamaru :D

Uzui Tengen

-He likes the drinks with long names so it’s extra flashy when the baristas call them out. Therefore, he gets the White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew. -Besides, look how pretty that is!! I bet he has one of those bedazzled tumblers for extra flamboyance.

Tomioka Giyuu

-To be honest, I have literally no explanation for this. I thought about him and my brain immediately provided Hazelnut Latte with oat milk. So that’s what he gets.

-It’s warm and comforting which my man definitely needs. Besides the oat milk implies he’s lactose intolerant which is hilarious LMAO rip Giyuu

Shinazugawa Sanemi

-Sanemi strikes me as a pretty down to earth, no-nonsense kind of guy in his day to day. Therefore, he gets a classic Americano. (He’ll get it hot in the winter.)

-Surprisingly, I feel like he would be pretty nice to the baristas. A little gruff, but respectful and would probably tip his change. Unless you fuck with him, so best to just give him his coffee and bid him adieu.

Rengoku Kyojuro

-Alright, alright, I know I’m taking the easy way out on this one. But I genuinely think he would get it because it looks like him and he finds it amusing! It’s popular with his juniors too, so he’d probably get them drinks as well. -I actually had this drink today and it was pretty good, so he would stick around for the bright flavor!

Tokito Muichiro

-I wanted to say London Fog SO BADLY LMAO but let’s be real he’s like fourteen years old. The Vanilla Bean Frappuccino is every child’s favorite, which is valid because it’s fucking delicious.

-One day he would come in and slam a doppio espresso and give all the baristas a heart attack.

Himejima Gyoumei

-Gyoumei definitely strikes me as a warm and cozy drink guy, so he gets a chai tea latte!

-It’s wholesome and delicious. He’ll cry when the baristas give it to him because it’s so good. Often comes by to pick up a drink for Genya because Sanemi refuses to do it himself.

Anyway that concludes my official analysis! Which is totally based in facts and data and not at all conjecture. As always if I missed your skrunkle feel free to infiltrate my ask box or replies! And I wanna hear your ideas too so do tell if you have a different take :D <3

[puckpocketed]

bonjour, i'm from vancouver but i have the worst sleep schedule ever so with onhockey dot tv by my side i'm abt to get into the aihl. who should i root for

BONSOIR!!! rip sleep schedule . I am a devout CBR Brave blog so, there’s only one answer here <3 some propaganda for you

i have personally met our starting goaltender Aleksi Toivonen and he’s a big sweetie . it was during this year’s off-season in uhhh february? and he was hanging out at our rink getting his reps in. i barely knew about the team back then so when he said he played for them i was like !!! and he let me take a very blurry photo 🫶

we’ve always been kinda good in a way that makes people a bit mad LMAO!!! won our first Goodall Cup 2018? so if you wanna root for the team where everyone’s praying for your downfall… get in here <3

on the topic of always being good; we’re so stacked that when IIHF Worlds is on, our roster gets STRIPPED because we have a lot of Australia’s best players! this year it happened and resulted in . um. a 9 game loss streak? <3 we were DEAD last in the league for a while. but the boys came back and we clawed our way to 2nd place in our conference pretty neatly

despite being so good, our rink is SHIT. i’m so serious. as a local, i’ve been to it and skated on it. god. soft, bewretched, small ice. there’s a fucking TRENCH between the boards and the ice too… like you could lose a small earring down that gap 😭 AND during intermission our zamboni does her best but often we have issues with flooding. smallest ice surface and smallest barn in the AIHL i do believe! this is because there’s been a decades-long power struggle between the owners and the government. (the streets are saying it has also historically been a pretty unfriendly place to the hockey players because the owner’s wife was a figure skater so her and her people always got preferential treatment LMAO) ANYWAY the propaganda part is . we play and practice on this ice and in this shitty old barn and we are still TORCHING the league <3 in a way i feel like we are the scrappy underdogs (we are not. but. we are to ME!!) anyway imagine what we could do with real facilities jskdjshsklff

canberra’s a small world so this team is just a bunch of brothers playing hockey together,, i’m SO serious. we got FOUR kubara brothers !! TWO miettinen brothers. and 2 Yorks !!! GONGEOUS NEPOBABIES..!!!

we just signed Austin Cangelosi and he’s boybestfriends with our guy Jake Ratcliffe and i love seeing them gossip on the ice like two girls at a slumber party. Cangelosi is 5’7 and got 🤏 this close to the NHL during a time where size was absolutely everything. i have the scouting notes from his draft year, and his overage draft years — i think if he’d come up in this era somebody would’ve taken a shot at him in like the 5th-7th round?? but alas. smash cut to now: he’s a small, fast, skilled player and has a relentless motor. if he stays with us next year he probably contends for most points in the league. he’s very good and fun and i louve heem…

i was talking shit about the Brave Cave but i love her so bad. we have new management who i deeply despise on a moral level because they’re a property development/building company, but aside from that they’ve put staff in place to make the vibes of pre/post games SO good. we’re hoping with this acquisition we will finally get the new rink we were promised in uhhhhh 2017. but who CARE!!! right now the capacity in the Cave is about 500, but it is apparently THEE most miserable place to play in as a travelling team. we’re a very rowdy crowd. we don’t boo our guys. we are deeply intimidating down to the last small child in CBR Brave facepaint.

on the topic of vibes: there are a few personalities at the rink who are pretty much fixtures. 1) the Cow Bell Guy; which is what it says on the tin. he brings a cow bell to every game and clangs it whenever something cool happens. when i say every game i mean like. i’ve seen him on monday nights when our beer league teams play godbless. (chatted to him a few times, his kid is a hockey fanatic and an ipad baby LMAO). 2) the Screamer; also what it says on the tin. Legend has it about 15 years ago she discovered hockey in an Autism Way and now she attends every home game and stands in the exact same corner. she heckles the SHIT out of the opposing team and honestly it would be kinda offputting if it was my team she was yelling at but she’s on MY side and so she’s a hero to me <3 i initially thought she was an overenthusiastic WAG or something but. no. she’s just on the hockey freak juice.

anyway. root for MY team. CBR BRAVE BEST TEAM OF ALL TIME EVER EVER EVER AND WE GOING TO THE CUP!!!!!

jokes aside please choose whatever team u like and have fun <3

[dentiststoothfairy]

Slides in *) may I have a chubby reader and them H E A D C A N O N S (blinks with eye lashes*)

Ty 😊

Art I made lmao

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐨'𝐬 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝 & 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Bro they don't give a single fuck.

Gonna be honest. They really don't.

If you're vibing with them? They'll vibe with you. Doesn't matter if you're pretty, ugly, larger, smaller, taller, shorter, thick or flat.

Nene thinks you're gorgeous anyways. You know she does because she makes a big deal about not hanging around ugly people.

"Like Pico?"

"Oh my Lord, exactly! Like Pico!"

She takes you shopping and then throws an ABSOLUTE fit if or when they don't carry the CUTEST outfit in your size.

That has to be some sort of CRIME.

Darnell is probably the most apathetic about it. He knows what it's like to be treated differently for something you can't change. And personally, he'd rather someone not make a large deal out of it... So he doesn't make a big deal out of you either.

Although, when someone has the audacity to like.. Comment on it? He calls them tf out. He makes a big deal then. He gets absolute pleasure of making assholes squirm with uncomfortable tension after being pointed out.

He's got your back. Honestly? He is probably the most reliable out of the group. He shuts Nene up real fast when she says something insensitive by the slip of the tongue.

Pico? God don't let anyone make one comment around you two.

He DON'T let that shit slide.

He's probably fallen asleep on you after a long day. He hasn't got any shame that one, I'm not gonna lie. You're way more comfortable to lean on than Darnell or Nene.

Nene mocks him and tells him that he better not collapse into your chest the way he collapsed into hers that one time. He still fucking hates that. It's embarrassing. He WOULD RATHER DIE.

"I'm back!"

"Oh, welcome home." You answered cointly. Your chest heavy with burden as you pulled your nervous eyes away from your reflection, subconsciously pulling down at your pants as you did so to hide the shame.

Your blue haired lover gave an energetic laugh as he moved lightly on the soles of his feet, bouncing to the couch as he took his hat out to fan himself. His stupid smile always brought comfort, you fought a smile yourself.

"Busy day?" You hummed, his eyes was still twinkling from energy from being outside. He nodded as his mouth opened to talk more.

"Oh hell yeah. Another rap battle, it was absolutely fire. You should've heard me!"

Ah.. You... Hadn't been willing to leave the apartment for a while... Embarrassment of like... Existing. But, that meant you missed out on so many fun things with your quite frankly, extroverted boyfriend.

His rising and falling chest and heart beating in sync, you could feel his internal music constantly bumping as he climbed onto you while you sat down, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck as you quickly grabbed his hand. You knew what he was trying to do, trying to run his fingers through your tight curls and you knew it would only end badly.

"I bet... You would've sounded great." You gave a bitter smile, glancing down subtly at your legs as your hand clutched his hand tighter. Your lover, usually pretty clueless, seemed to pick up on the cues.

".. Is something wrong, babe?" He asked, his tone shifted slightly as he looked up at you, his excitement washed away like a wave swallowing a crab into the large ocean.

Now look what you've done...

"No, no. I'm fine! I was just thinking about what we were going to have for dinner tonight. Maybe something with low fat?" You offered, throwing the option into the air hoping that the usual air head wouldn't catch on.

Unlucky for you, he did.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Is this about your legs again?" He let go of you, as he sat up. The silence hung in the air like a string hung off a cork board. You never liked lying to him but, how else could you improve the situation..?

He gave a sigh, laying his head on your shoulder as he snaked an arm around your waist, trying to pull you as closely as he could to you. "... You know I think you're stunning, I don't.. Understand how you can't see that." He muttered.

"Because-.." Your voice caught onto the tissue in your throat as if a hook was dragging across it. You couldn't untangle the line that was suffocating you. Both metaphorical, and the verbal line you were about to say.

And, god bless... Your boyfriend as if a miracle worker, knew exactly what to do. He pulled you in, connecting your lips quickly.

"You're adorable. There's nothing cuter than you." He mumbled, giving you a crooked smile. "The fact you think other wise is insulting. You're like.. The fuckin' cutest thing ever. Like, you're so soft. And I know people who say that come off as if they're reaching for compliments but honestly? I wouldn't change you for the way you are." He shrugged.

Your eyes scavenged his for any sort of lie. That he was trying to make you feel better with absolutely no true empathy behind his words. But you came up empty handed.

"Like, do you know how hard it is for me to like.. Not show you off? I just wanna walk down the street and go 'look suckers! This is my mutha' fuckin' partner! You can't even imagine landing someone so hot!'" He raised his voice, cupping his mouth to make himself even louder. You gave a nervous laugh.

"Please don't do that..." Please, don't.

He gave a cheeky wink to you, sticking his cheek out as he did. "I said it's hard for me not to do, not that I would. I know how you get with attention, baby and I'm gonna do my best to make sure you're content in your own skin because I love you." He brought your knuckle to his lips, giving you a kiss and feigning a knight.

"Whether you're black, white, fuckin'... Green or thin."

Green?

You couldn't help but laugh at that. Taking your dumb ass boyfriend by the jaw and kissing him once again.

"You're so stupid."

"I know." He hummed back, content. "Now what's for dinner for real? I'm starving."

[bugflies00]

ok so this isnt a particularly profound headcanon or anything but its been sitting in the back of my mind for like, two years now. you know how ctubbo is technically blonde in canon, but everyone draws him with dark brown hair? ok, so, as people get older, their hair tends to get darker (if its not already dark brown)

(sciencey explanation for this if youre interested: basically, you have two melanin types contributing to your hair color--eumelanin (makes hair darker) and pheomelanin (makes hair redder). as you get older, the melanocytes (cells that produce melanin) start to change behavior and produce more eumelanins. i dont think we're entirely sure why, but it has to do with hormonal changes, among other things)

but anyway. do you think that, in the early days of the dsmp, in the early days of L'manburg, Tubbo's hair was bright, bright blonde--a mop of hair to match Tommy's, even rival it? From a distance, it wasn't hard to mistake one from the other.

Through the pogtopia arc, Tommy's hair stays as blonde as ever, but Tubbo's starts to darken noticeably, and by the time Wilbur's put a crater in the heart of L'manburg, it's a full-on dirty blonde.

I don't remember how long exactly it was between Tommy's exile and the next time he saw Tubbo, (call me cranboo the way i. uh. forget), but do you think that when he did, he almost didn't recognize him--Tubbo's hair was as dark as Wilbur's, as Schlatt's. what if, like, his hair got darker a lot faster once Manburg happened and once his becoming president happened--he was put in a position where he was forced to grow up fast, to grow into his boots. i mean that wouldnt happen in real life but whateverrrr

wait actually i just had another idea have you ever seen those pictures of us presidents before and after their presidency and they look like wayyyy older even if they only served a four year term? do you think it was like that? like, it was still tubbo, sure, but that small bit of stubbornly remaining baby fat was gone from his face. the scar from his execution at the festival was no longer that angry red; it had long since resolved itself into something calmer: a bitter, pale pink. When Tommy looks at him, it's hard to reconcile what he sees with the Tubbo he remembers.

this got really long. uh. sory. thank you for coming to my ted talk. my tub[bo] talk if you will. thumbs up emoji

oh i do know about the blonde darkening thing, it happened to me!! i had hay blonde hair as a kid and now im a light-medium brown lmao. but YESSS ABSOLUTELY oh my god the idea of ctommy leaving ctubbo looking almost like twins and coming back to see him looking an entirely different person..... grown up even physically.... GOD and the fact that ctubbo changes while ctommy remains the same always and forever is AHJWHGHJE literally right on theme . god . im obsessed with this ur so right this is canon now

[keiipopped]

My First Scandal🤭

Okay so i wasn’t gonna address this because frankly it’s irrelevant to me but since bitches wanna get on here and post shit and so called ‘call me out’ so fuck it, I’m bored and have time tonight. If youre on enha writing tumblr then you may have seen posts from or about @dramaticalerror who i cant tag cause the bitch blocked me anyway LMAOO. So let me start by saying that if there’s typos its cause i just did my nails and am trying to type fast lmao and haven’t had nails in a hot minute. Anyway. The whole situation is genuinely irrelevant to me but bc people that have never interacted w me a day in their lives have shit to say. Ill say this, First of all, yes i told the bitch to off herself and yes I said I’d whoop her ass if this was irl (CAUSE I WOULD💀) however, this was after so long of conversation and them being rude initially. People I’ve interacted with on multiple platforms including this one as well as in real life can testify to the fact that i am genuinely a sweet person, but i will fight if needed. Last night i was on tumblr and this person came up on the regular enhypen tag which i follow and they were posting to tell people what they were gonna be writing and i ignored it. Then i realized what kind of content they were actually writing and i wanted them to disappear. Anyway i messaged them politely asking that they blocked me so it would basically be like they never existed and they proceeded to respond rudely but this part was not showed in their responses. They later told me i didnt “deserve” it and then that the more i insulted them the more they’d write Niki smuts and tag me in them. Which i stupidly enough earlier deleted the whole chat thread cause i said i was done w the whole thing. but i do have those. Anyway they later posted the chats but only the parts where i got out of hand AND then blocked me ANYWAY like a fucking clown. They also told me I’d eventually write smut which.. i wont? Like. Y’all i swear it was literally like talking to a 8 year old wall.

It’s just funny cause its so easy to tell how immature this person is because of the tags they use like #controversy. Are you serious 💀

Anyways there was so much more that went down in the chat but this is the only important(not) part. Bottom line is the shit they write is disgusting and anyone that disagrees and plans on writing that shit in the future just go ahead and block me.

AND lastly miss me with that “Jungwon and Sunoo didnt get the same defense” because i was fighting bitches when someone literally wrote smut for him the day after his 18th birthday and i wasn’t here when sunoo turned 18. and if you think people waited for Jungwon to turn 19 youre wrong too.

I would tag the mf also but they like i said blocked me anyway. So 🤷🏽‍♀️

[lipglossanon]

I'm back and foaming from the mouth for the real dad series-

Don't judge me okay

Anyways…. Ever since the last three installments of the series of the real dad Leon, I've had this thought cooking in my drafts.

What about a first look of the bride with your father, but in a room just the two of you. The way he looks at you with the tears pricking his eyes but you try to not notice something else lingering in them. The lust..

But wasn't he the one to break off the arrangement between you two when you started dating your fiancé. Your father was weird…

You swear you don't know how you ended up against the wall with your dress bunched up at your hips, while your father bounces you on his cock.

Lipstick was ruined and so was your mascara as he kissed your forehead murmuring about his little girl growing up too fast. Or how he should be the one at the altar waiting for you.

You hadn't realized how long you've been going at it like desperate dogs in heat. "Baby?" Your mother called from the other side of the door as Leon's hips jolted to a stop.

"Baby it's normal to have second thoughts about big things like this but I think you should marry him" she said softly knocking on the door while trying the handle.

Looking at your dad with wide eyes with your heart pounding in your chest, leon just smirked and leaned into your ear. "Asner you mother baby" he said, starting up the rough pace once again.

"(Y/n)? Sweetheart open the door" she said knocking as you gasped softly at the feeling of his cockhead nudging your cervix. "Sorry mama, I ruined my make up during the first look with dad" you said through gritted teeth as your father's thumb traced circles into your clit.

"I see, do you need help? You need to walk down the aisle in 15 minutes" she said, stopping with her attempts to get in the room.

"No thanks mama, I got it. Could you go find dad? He walked off to do something?" You said as your father was chuckling at the lie to get your mother to go away like he wasn't turning your mind into goo.

"Sure thing sweetheart just remember you got this" she said while her footsteps faded away.

"Went to do something huh?" He said his voice strained as he worked his hips into yours. "Guess I am"

"Oh fuck" you moan out as your head tilted back he took the chance to pepper kiss all over while denying the urge to mark you up to let everyone know who you really belong to.

"Maybe I shouldn't pull out" he mused as his hips and thumb picked up speed.

"Maybe I should let your husband raise another man's baby huh?" He said before moaning, feeling the way you tighten up significantly. "You like that honey? The thought of your husband raising your father's baby?"

The words, the touch, the way his father cock stretch you out became too much, your walls clamped down around him fluttering and milking him for all his worth.

"Fuck! Baby! I-" it's all he got out before his hips pressed against yours as warmth spread deep into your womb.

God you were fucked in the head but it felt so damn good.

(If you ever open commissions again I'm definitely buying this from you 😩)

-bumpkin

Bumpkin!!! Hiya!!! 👋 🥰

AGSKGBL funny enough I’ve been thinking about opening commissions back up 🤔

Breeding kink goes brrrr 🥴 😵‍💫 I love the threat of it (just no actual knocking up to be had lmao 😂)

Bumpkin you should write some real dad 😜 🤭