#because I’ve never really HAD anyone express attraction to me

[vixnprince]

// I’ll be honest, I kinda wish I’d projected my apprehension around sex onto this oc. There’s something liberating about writing Sion as a bit of a hoe sometimes, but I’ve struggled to process my own feelings around being thirty and still too terrified and unable to connect with anyone enough to take the plunge that is having sex. Bc that’s something I’ve noticed about myself lately. I don’t think I ever will have sex, and that’s fine, but part of me is also kinda sad that I feel too self conscious and uncertain and insecure to trust anyone enough to share that kind of intimacy. I’ve been single for my entire adult life, and I think that’s had an effect on me, and I wanna explore that

[cheshirebitch]

Alastor with a 1950’s housewife styled reader. When he sees her he doesn’t even understand why she’s in hell in the first place.

!!Mentions of domestic violence!!

She killed her husband for laying a hand on their child. She was slow and methodical with her kill, and when Alastor finds out he becomes enraptured by her. In awe of how proper and kind she is but how devastatingly cruel she can be if the circumstance calls for it.

He finds her duality alluring in a sense, and he’s so curious to see what fresh hell she’d let loose in hell if she decided to unleash herself upon some poor sinners.

This is my first request in a long time and I’m super tired so I hope this makes sense 😅

Oh boy, oh boy, did I love this idea and I hope I did you justice on it :)!

ℂ𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕪 𝕊𝕖𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕤

Alastor x Reader

“Alastor, dear, can you do me a favor?” I asked while smoothing my dress out nervously.

“Of course darling! What can I do for you my Angel?” Alastor started calling me that the day he met me. He was adamant that heaven messed up or I was a fallen angel for being too good. Every time he would go on one of his long stipples, I would have to keep my lips tight and calm my beating heart for two reasons. He really was too sweet to me and because I never want anyone to know my ugly truth. Not that I’m ashamed but because I don’t need everyone hunting down the man, especially considering he was alive and well in hell with me. I think he suffered considerably for his actions and I didn’t need the whole hotel, that was supposed to be a walking advertisement about redemption, trying to murder this man. Especially Alastor, he would be completely unforgiving.

He was always so polite when it concerned me and always had a compliment to throw my way.

“Mon Cher, looking elegant as always.”

“Darling, do smile more often. Hell would be much better with your sparkling smile.”

“What’s a looker like you doing at the bar by yourself? Care for company Angel?”

“Mon Cher,

“Would you be so kind to help me make dinner today? I truly didn’t expect the King of Hell to be visiting or I could’ve handled it on my own.” Exasperated that Charlie failed to mention, again, about her fathers visit. I rather not have him thinking an old housewife, such as myself, failed to uphold the standards I was raised with. This place will be spotless and perfect in two hours by my own hand, if Alastor agrees to assist me. I always batted his hands away when he’s tried before, being conditioned that all this work is only my job. My ex husband made sure I learned that too.

“Absolutely! Anything for my sweet Angel! Are you certain there is nothing else I can assist you with? Perhaps some cleaning, laundry, anything?” Alastor was leaning in towards my personal space as I pushed a finger over his massive smile. He truly is a pure gentleman despite his horrific sins he’s committed. Maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to him?

“Oh, no. Just some help in the kitchen will be fine. I just need someone to watch over the meal as it cooks so it doesn’t burn while I clean the rest of this hotel.” I smiled at him as polite as I could while trying not to tremble over the simple act of asking for help. It’s always involuntary when I flinch at a man, so much so that I’ve overheard conversations about it from the group. Charlie and Angel express their concerns to me but the rest just watch with pity in their eyes.

��Angel, certainly there is more I can do?” He gave me his smile still, slightly strained, but concern and a small hint of frustration were in those burgundy eyes. I pretended to think on it before shaking my head.

“That simply won’t do. I will handle all kitchen duties and you can clean. Don’t try to stop me.” Alastor morphed through the shadows as I raced to beat him to the kitchen, only to be met with a locked door. I huffed before giving in, but only because I was on a tight schedule. Fighting with Alastor’s stubbornness was at the bottom of my list and making sure this place was spiffy was at the top. So, I raced around on the lobby floor, cleaning everything and everything. I couldn’t help but notice how Alastor was trying to slyly send his shadow and Niffty to help. Ignoring them on purpose, faking ignorance for his sake, and kept cleaning at my full speed.

By the time I noticed there was nothing left to do, I was out of breath and was done one hour earlier than I thought I would be. That was also considering how I had two extra sets of helping hands plus the fact I didn’t have to check the kitchen at all. I smiled as I panted out, wiping the sweat from my brow. I sauntered into the kitchen, now with unlocked doors, and had my hands on my hips as I watched Alastor finish cooking everything I had laid out. I had a bandana on to keep my hair pulled up and stop the sweat from running down my neck. It was the pretty maroon and black one Alastor gave me the first year I knew him.

“Lovely to see you using the things I get you.” Without even turning around, he knew what I was wearing and didn’t degrade me for not completing these tasks completely on my own or faster. The smile spread on my face as I began to tease back.

“Always lovely to see you cooking. Don’t think I don’t see that tail wagging happily, deer.” I emphasized on his nickname being used more so as what animal he was. His ears twitched as he turned around with a playful grin. My tail whipped around behind me, showing I was teasing him playfully. He leaned closer, invading my personal space again.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Angel. I’m just helping a deer friend out.” He chuckled at his own pun, making me smile and nudge him. This is what normally happens when one of us tells a joke, it turns into a pun war. Right now though, I guess it was deer themed with a hint of good tension between us. He had us switching places, where I was the one with the counter behind me and he with nothing. Walking closer and closer, getting more into eachothers spaces with no complaints. Which of itself, others would find quite odd how Alastor wasn’t upset by myself being this close to him.

“That pun wasn’t one of your best. Dare I say, I wasn’t too fawn of that one.” His smile widened with genuine happiness without anything evil being the cause of it. It really was beautiful. I couldn’t help but morph my smile from a playful one to a genuine smile as well, full of admiration. I could even feel my eyes basically forming heart shapes for him.

“Angel?” His eyes looked relaxed along with his smile, he was still leaning so close to me I could feel his coat tickling my skin.

“Yes, deer?” He smiled more before continuing.

“How are you in Hell? Really?” My smile froze as I panicked slightly. He was someone I could see hunting my ex husband down and brutally killing for what he’s done, especially towards me and my family. My hands moved before I could stop them, gripping his with mine. His eyes looked confused at our hands before looking at me, waiting for what it was.

“Promise me, Al, that you’ll let it go after I tell you.” His eyes searched mine before he sighed out.

“You know I can’t promise that, my Angel.” One of his claws carefully brushed my cheek slowly. He started moving slower with his movements when they were towards me after noticing how I flinched. The bright red claws remained on my face as I looked away, defeated.

“It wasn’t always horrible with him, my late husband and father of my two beautiful girls.” I smiled as I mentioned my children, who have long lived their lives after my death, and both in heaven.

“But after a couple years when my youngest turned four, Paul wasn’t the same. He was laid off from his fancy office job and started drinking when he couldn’t find work. We had to sell our home and move. I started working at a couple diners and cleaning for a couple homes, anything to make the bills.” My smile turned sad as Alastor’s turned strained the second I spoke of alcohol. His grip tightened slightly but never enough to hurt me.

“He would get angry when I came home late, how the house was a mess, when the children got fussy, and just anything that involved work for him. That’s when I got tired and mouthed off.” Alastor’s upper lip curled in disgust at what was about to be spoken next.

“He didn’t like that, slapped me back in place.” Alastor’s eyes squinted.

“I think you’re downplaying it, Angel.” I sheepishly grin, knowing he’s right.

“A little.”

“Tell the truth now, darling.”

“He beat me till I couldn’t stand anymore. I tried fighting back but…” I shook my head and felt my eyes burning.

“I was just a silly housewife.” He took his claw and gently swiped away a fallen tear. It was the only tear I will let fall.

“I only said enough when he went to hit the oldest for trying to pull him off of me.” Tension was rising up my spine and locking my jaw tight. Alastor’s radio static picked up even more the second I spoke that sentence. I could feel his anger radiating from him.

“I hated him for it, so much so I killed him.” I looked up at Alastor right when his eyes dilated, recognizing the shock and admiration that was swirling in his eyes. His smile spread out across his face more as the radio static cut silent, then he spoke without any static in his voice.

“My, my, what have we got here? Dare I say my Angel is really a demon after all?” I could tell he said it with slight humor, still thinking I’m too pure to be in hell.

“I poisoned him for months with rat poisoning in his alcohol. He chose his own death, I just sped it up. Everyone thought he died of alcohol poisoning but it was me. I’d do it again if it meant my kids never had to see that ever again. He could’ve lived if he just chose his family over the alcohol.” I shrugged with no remorse for my actions.

“While he was getting more and more ill, I would watch from the doorway of our bedroom, where he slept. Just holding a kitchen knife and sharpening it, watching him sleep horribly.” Alastor smiled wider, wider than I thought possible really, and dipped me down gracefully. His arm behind my back holding me completely as his other hand delicately glided his ruby claw down my cheek.

“Mon Cher, penser que je ne pourrais pas t'aimer davantage.” **

Alastor was immediately thinking about how he’d worship her forever and was intrigued to see what fresh hell she would unleash by his side with this daunting loyalty and protective spirit. He also took note to pay a visit to dear ol’ Paul, the current bartender that replaced Husk at the casino in town.

** translation - “My dear, to think that I couldn’t love you more.”

(As always, characters belong to their owner and the story belongs to me. If you have any requests or ideas, send them over :)! I will gladly try to write things for my supporters! Thank you for the love and have a great day! <3)

[longing-for-rain]

Ember Island Players…Racist Caricatures or Meta Commentary?

This episode was supposed to be a fun filler episode to recap the events of the show in a silly way before the series finale, but it’s managed to become arguably one of the most controversial episodes in the fandom. Over the years, Aang’s possessive behavior towards Katara has been rightfully criticized, but there are always people who attempt to justify everything Aang does.

Apparently, the latest iteration of this is the claim that—wait for it—we should be sympathetic towards Aang and give him a pass in The Ember Island Players because he felt “emasculated” due to the supposed “feminization” of his culture.

I’ve been called racist for saying this is a reach, but it’s more than a reach. It’s an entire acrobatics routine; a level of media illiteracy that shows a lack of understanding of the point of that episode.

Yes, Aang’s character is portrayed in a silly, mocking way. So are all of the other characters. That’s the point; the episode was a filler, a gimmick, and the underlying comedy is the fact that all of the characters are reacting to exaggerated, one-dimensional versions of their own personalities.

For example:

Katara is portrayed as an “overemotional crybaby” in her own words, and is constantly giving motivational speeches and crying

Sokka’s “comedic relief” archetype is played up to the point his lines are just corny one-liners

Zuko is portrayed as an angsty, whiny pretty-boy who acts like a bratty asshole at all times

Toph is a huge buff guy (although in this case, it’s a play on how her character was originally going to be a “jock” type male character)

As for Aang? He’s portrayed as unserious, goofy, and childish. Which—just like all the others—is a jokey exaggeration of his childish demeanor and nature. He’s not even alone in taking offense to his portrayal. All of the characters aside from Toph hate their characters for largely the same reason. They’re being confronted with aspects of themselves that make them insecure. For Aang, it’s his immaturity—and specifically his fears that he’ll be rejected by Katara.

As for why Aang is played by a woman? Well, we don’t actually have to wonder about that, because the creators themselves answer this question in the episode commentary.

Bryan: “It's sort of a self-referential joke. Whenever you do a animated show, they usually want to cast, uh, women...who are, like, in their thirties to play boys, because you never know how long the show is gonna go on, and, you know, as Jack mentioned earlier, boys' voices start cracking.” (source)

Wow, imagine that! An inside joke about the cartoon industry in a show’s meta-episode dedicated to making fun of itself? Impossible!

I’m serious though. The episode transcript is right here. Point me to where exactly there is even the slightest hint of anyone bringing up Aang’s culture and tying his childish behavior to it.

That’s right; it isn’t there. Because that wasn’t the point. Aang’s anger did stem from feeling emasculated, but it had nothing to do with culture and everything to do with his own misogynistic attitudes. He was offended at his portrayal on an individual level. I’m not denying that the issue of oppressive nations using femininity as an insult against men of colonized nations is a very real issue, but that was never a theme present in this episode. We don’t see Aang expressing anger towards the Fire Nation, nor do we see him mention anything about culture. What we see is Aang, individually, feeling insulting that his actor is female and Aang being angry at Katara, individually, because the play suggested she felt more attracted to Zuko than him.

Trying to downplay Aang’s behavior and suggest we coddle him despite his atrocious treatment of Katara is a disingenuous reading of the episode.

Why are you reaching to make an excuse for Aang when if you’re really taking the “the point of the episode is that the play is racially demeaning the characters” angle…and why are you not bringing up Sokka? He’s portrayed as a dumb oaf who is always talking about eating meat. There is a much stronger argument to be made there about caricatures, but Sokka isn’t threatening anyone’s ship so apparently nobody cares.

And while we’re talking about caricatures, how about this crap?

Sorry, Aang stans, but this show and Aang’s character aren’t the enlightened portrayals of anti-colonialism and groundbreaking activism you think they are. It’s pretty clear from the context and the episode itself what the intention here was. It is poorly aged comedy from the early 2000s written by white Americans. And we will continue to critique that, thanks.

[aswaki]

wish it was u [smt x reader]

seok matthew x reader | 1.1k word count | explicit (minors dni)

“matthew's fuck buddy misses him to the point they surprise him with a special photo at work”

contains: afab bodied!reader, voyeurism(ish?-via phone), slight tit/nipple play, oral (reader receiving), fuck buddy/friends with benefits theme, mention of size kink, brief appearance of hanbin

wish it was u [media attached]

matthew immediately lowered the brightness on his phone when he saw what it was. he hid his phone underneath the table so he could make sure it was for his eyes only. he tried to make his face as neutral as possible. he looked down at his phone once again and there it was... displayed on the screen was a mirror selfie of you laying on your bed. naked. your top was off, revealing your supple tits that matthew loved so much. his mouth almost watered at the sight of them.

he had always enjoyed holding both your tits in his hands and giving them a massage before guiding it to his mouth. you loved having them sucked off and matthew would never deny you that pleasure. the unexpected nude was almost perfect. the only problem was the obstruction that laid on top of you. someone else was staking claim to your perfect breasts. they had one of your nipples captured between their lips. their hands firmly placed on your hips, keeping you steady to stop you from squirming. (matthew knew because he's done that plenty of times before. you were always so responsive.) matthew’s fist clenched.

you and matthew had a very… interesting relationship, so to speak. both of you had been close for years. you knew each other inside and out, literally and figuratively. it started with a game one night after having too much to drink (“matthew, truth or dare?” ‘dare’ “okay, i dare you to… stroke your dick for me,”) to swapping kinks (‘i’ve always had a size kink, you know.’ “really? is that why you like to carry me around? to show off your strength and how big you are compared to me?”) to confessions of being attracted to each other (‘you’re really hot. i've always wanted to know what it’s like have my cock inside your pussy.’ “don't tell anyone but i really want you to choke me with your biceps.”) and then to actually having sex each other (“matty, fuck me harder! feels s-so good!”). even after all of that, the both of you were only friends. friends who liked to use each other’s bodies for fun. it was a casual set up.

no strings attached, no harm, no foul. you agreed to not be exclusive but somehow, you always gravitated to one another. there were times where even the friendly hang outs you planned had ended up with you screaming for his name. 

since he’s been busy lately, he guiltily hasn’t made time for you. no matter how desperate he was to feel your soft skin underneath him and to have his cock ram inside your warm walls for stress relief. he squeezed his eyes shut to get the image of you naked away from his mind. he could already feel himself getting aroused at the thought of you. he opened his eyes but there you were, still naked on his phone with another person.

he’d get mad but the message attached to the photo inflated his ego. he knew no one could replace him in pleasuring you. were you so desperate to have your body be played with? were your tits so lonely you had to look for another warm mouth? were you so horny you had to find someone willing to fill up your cunt?

“wish it was you” he smirked at that. oh, so did he. he was holed up in his work. he was currently at a meeting discussing some important thing matthew couldn’t care less about at the moment. before he could figure out what to do, another notification came through his phone.

ur still better. miss u matty. [media attached]

and you’re a fiend for teasing him… this time matthew couldn’t keep his expression neutral. his mouth hung slightly open as he clicked on the attached media. it was still you angling your phone to the mirror. however, the difference was that it's a video. matthew's finger went to lower the volume. he didn't want anybody from the meeting hearing you. your voice was meant for him, and him alone. the thought of someone else hearing you suddenly made his emotions run amok. when some sweet moans escaped from you as the person you’re with removed their mouth from your tits and went down on you, matthew felt his eye twitch knowing someone else made you moan like that. your current partner's mouth went to the waistband of your panties. they grinned at you before they used their teeth to drag the lace garment down. your legs spread wider to expose your slick pussy further. it was already so wet. their hands slid away from your hips and went on to travel lower, caressing your smooth skin that matthew was so familiar with. as it reached your inner thighs, they gave it a squeeze eliciting a small whine from you.

matthew knew what was going to happen next but he couldn’t stop himself from watching. all he could do right now was grip the phone tighter and tug on his jeans. he was starting to feel hot and restricted. in the video, the person leaned down to pepper your thighs with kisses before putting their lips on your damp folds. after gently kissing your pussy, they used their tongue to stroke your folds, up and down in a rhythmic pattern, then started to eat you out.

now, matthew has never been the possessive type but seeing you lose your resolve from a person that wasn’t him stirred something inside of him. despite all that, he could feel himself getting a hard on. back on the screen, an index finger rolled on your clit. your eyes flew shut as you moaned out, “matty…” your hold on the phone wavered as they started to play with your clit with fervor, making you more sensitive than usual. the video abruptly ends, much to matthew’s equal dismay and relief.

adrenaline ran through his body, he knew he could treat you better than that, even you knew that. it’s why you were doing all this. matthew moved from his spot on the conference table. he decided to go to you, to remind you who made you feel the best. you needed a reminder to who you belonged to. he let out a hurried, “excuse me,” before getting up and walking away. if anyone at the meeting looked intently at him, they would have seen a tent forming at his pants.

“hey, matthew! we're not done yet!” he heard hanbin call out to him but he ignored it. he'd deal with that later. right now, all he wanted right now was to fuck you mercilessly and erase the traces of someone else from your skin.

wait for me, baby. omw.

a/n: did y'all like it? i haven't really written any thing for a while so this is a quick fic i made. i wanted to dip my toes into writing fics again so i created this new blog. (i'd really appreciate it if you left feedback and maybe reblog/like this)! i hope i'm not that rusty at it. i'm going to be honest— the writing was super quick to make but finding photos to add on top took me a long time to do! lmao! if you read this far, thank you.

divider credit: saradika-graphics

[butchpeace]

The Illusion

One of the worst things about transition was the constant anxiety about whether or not I was passing.

The constant fear that other people would perceive me as trans, or see me as female. Every day, checking my outfit to make sure none of my feminine qualities were noticeable. Every time I was in public, trying to shrink and hide myself, change the way I walked and talked to not attract suspicion. I didn't want to stand out, didn't want anyone to even think about me. A pathological need to blend in like a chameleon.

My dislike of my body wasn't made better by transition. It was made worse. It's the catch 22 of transition. You start out with some "dysphoria" – things you don't like about your body – so you start trying to pass as the opposite sex. Then you keep finding new things to be "dysphoric" about. It never ends, because the problem isn't solved. The obsessive anxiety will just continue to create problems where there weren't any before.

The other anxiety is about fitting into the illusion of a male identity. While many aspects of who I am fit into the idea of being a man, I’ve also had many interests and qualities and relationships with people over the years that are typically “female”. And really, all of my experiences were female experiences, because I was a female experiencing them. 

During transition, I felt that I wasn't able to fully be myself with most people. Not able to fully express who I am, who I was, and have them see all of me.

I became slowly more and more uncomfortable with living my life behind this mask.

Now, I’m working on accepting myself exactly as I am in this moment. It’s not easy. But I’m teaching myself that it’s okay to be someone who appears to be between-genders, at least right now. It’s okay that my hips are wide, and it’s okay that I have a flat chest. It’s okay that I have pretty eyes, and it’s okay that I have an Adam’s apple.

All these things can coexist, and it doesn’t make me ugly or unlovable, it just makes me me.

[by-nina]

Second Glance

AO3 | FFN Royai Week 2024 | Day 1 – Curiosity Rating: K+ (mentions of drinking) Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1,480

A/N: Happy Royai Week, my darlings! Special thanks to @kangdae95draws for making this fic possible, from ideation to fine-tuning to keeping me on schedule with your beautiful art! 🫶🏻

Her eyes are the color of deep honey, almost incandescent in the warm light of the street lamp just next to him. Soft beneath her expression. So different from how he expected them to look up close that he doesn’t notice himself leaning in curiously to see them better.

“Your eyes... they're brown,” Roy whispers before he can stop himself.

Art by @kangdae95draws

———

It’s only ten o’clock in the evening—far too early for the laughter and conversations to die down, or for the music to turn slow, or for anyone to leave the Hugheses’ housewarming party—but by this time, Roy hasn’t had more than a glass of wine, and he has already bid good night to Maes and Gracia, apologized for being unable to stay as long as he’d wanted to, and made his way to the phone in their foyer to call for a cab that will take him home.

Roy is aware of a handful of stares that follow him as he takes his coat from a hook by the door, the same earnest stares that have tried to meet his all night before he decided that he would rather they didn’t. It isn’t as if he didn’t try his best. Madame Christmas had encouraged him to head out and socialize in his free time instead of keeping to himself. Maes had hoped—firmly suggested, really—that he might meet someone he could connect with. It certainly explains the presence of Maes’ attractive cousin and Gracia’s bubbly former classmate, who heavily hinted at being single several times throughout the night.

And Roy knows that Madame Christmas, Maes, and Gracia all mean well, and that the women he met tonight truly wanted to get to know him, besides being pleasing to the eye. He wishes he could have returned their interest, pushed down the discomfort and anxiety that keep him from feigning it as well as he knows he could have. He’s never not wanted to, and just as well, he’s never been able to—not since coming home from the war, not since throwing himself into his work and coming to believe that to think of anything else would be selfish and purposeless.

So he says goodbye to no one else, exits the Hugheses’ apartment quietly, and waits on a park bench just a few paces down the road. Here, he has no one for company, nothing except the flickering street lamps and the chirping of crickets. He exhales, and in his solitude, a tension he hadn’t noticed building in his chest throughout the party dissipates almost immediately, like his misty breath into the chilly night air.

“Colonel?”

Lieutenant Hawkeye has found him. The sounds from the party and the smell of liquor seem to have followed her from the party and out through the front door of the apartment building, but Roy is thankful that it’s she and not any of the other guests who came looking.

“It’s freezing out here, Hawkeye,” Roy says, rising from the bench. “You ought to go back inside.”

She descends the steps to the sidewalk and joins him at the bench. “I wouldn’t mind staying out for some fresh air until you’re ready to rejoin the party.”

“I don’t think I’ll be returning to the party. I’ve told Hughes I’m heading home. He and Gracia were kind about it.”

Lieutenant Hawkeye tilts her head slightly and blinks. “So soon, Sir?”

“Let’s just say I’m not currently at my most sociable, and I wouldn’t want to spoil their evening because of it.” Roy shrugs with a small smile. “I’m sure they won’t miss me too badly.”

“I see.” A pause. “Will you be fine on your own?”

“I will. There’s no need to worry. And I wouldn’t want you to miss the party just to keep me company out here.”

“I actually meant to offer you a ride home, Sir.”

Roy frowns slightly at Lieutenant Hawkeye, and it’s only then that he realizes she is seemingly standing at attention. Sternly, but with a small laugh, he says, “We’re not at work, Hawkeye. I don’t expect you to attend to me. I’ll escort you back inside before you catch a cold.”

“But if we’re not at work, then it’s not an order, is it?”

First, Roy is taken aback, then he suppresses his laughter with a snort. He can’t say that he didn’t expect this kind of response from her, but her sharper jibes are rare enough that he finds himself giving them a second thought when they come. Now he finds himself looking right at her, reading the thinly veiled look of amused self-satisfaction in the slight upward curl of her lips, the barely noticeable arch of her eyebrows, and her eyes—

Her eyes are the color of deep honey, almost incandescent in the warm light of the street lamp just next to him. Soft beneath her expression. So different from how he expected them to look up close that he doesn’t notice himself leaning in curiously to see them better.

“Your eyes... they're brown,” Roy whispers before he can stop himself.

The question that floats to the front of his mind is even stupider—Have her eyes always been this brown?—but it’s a dangerous one as well. All at once, Roy wonders why he hadn’t stopped and noticed it before, what he expected her eye color to be, and most crucially, why it even matters—why, when all this time, she had only ever been his right hand, a capable and dependable soldier, never just a woman.

Now, he’s fixated only on how beautiful her eyes are.

He’s close enough to see the subtlest change in her expression, the nervous twitch in her nose when she says, “Are you drunk, Sir?”

He’s close enough to hear the slight quiver in her voice that suggests apprehension as well as controlled bewilderment, all underneath genuine concern. Then, he notices the flush in her cheeks, the heat radiating from her body—her pale blue dress is lovely on her, and he thinks she should dress like this more often—and, for the quickest moment, her slight wobble when she steps back an inch from him.

Roy frowns. “Hawkeye, I think you’re drunk.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” she says a little too loudly. Roy jumps back slightly. She holds her shoulders rigidly and struggles to meet his gaze and now Roy can tell that what he took for shy self-consciousness is actually her attempt—no, her insistence to appear sober. At the back of his mind, he recognizes something he’s sure he’s always known about her. A self-sacrificing stubbornness that always keeps her from leaning on anyone else. He sighs.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, I’m driving you home.”

“But I—”

“I can’t let you offer me a ride or stay here to look after yourself in this state. My conscience won’t let me.” Roy drops his voice to a gentle near whisper. “It’s all right. Let’s get your coat and keys.”

Maes is right by the door when Roy and Lieutenant Hawkeye briefly return to the party to gather her things. Roy explains the situation while ignoring the interested, almost knowing expression that slowly creeps into Maes’ face as he looks over Roy’s shoulder at Lieutenant Hawkeye. She says good night, apologizes profusely for having to leave early, then asks him to thank Gracia for her cooking. When they leave, Roy walks closer to Lieutenant Hawkeye than he often does, preparing to catch her in case she loses her footing.

It’s the first time that Roy is driving Lieutenant Hawkeye’s car. He’s more careful than usual, but it doesn’t keep his mind from wandering back to her. He notices her silence, coming from an iron will to appear put together. (He wishes she could relax for once.) He notices the faint scent of lemon and vanilla in the car, which he soon realizes is actually her perfume rather than the car freshener. Out of nowhere, he wonders if he can call her by her first name when they’re alone together like this.

The question never leaves his lips. It disappears into his chest and lodges itself in his steadily quickening heartbeat. Roy tries his best to ignore it, but it makes itself felt when he looks up through the windshield and wonders, were the stars over Central always this bright? Was the city this peaceful at night even during the war? Have any of the lovers still walking down the street at this hour known each other as long as he and Lieutenant Hawkeye have?

And when Riza—when Lieutenant Hawkeye wakes up in the morning, will she be all right? Will she have the same tea that she has always had since they were growing up together in her hometown? Will she read the paper; will she head to the market?

Roy catches a smile growing on his lips, the kind he’s sure Madame Christmas and Maes and Gracia have all been hoping to see on him since heaven knows when. But at this very moment, on the drive back to East City, he can’t afford to think of them or all the reasons they have been worrying about his solitude. Instead, he straightens his face to focus on the road. There are miles yet ahead of them.

[reqxxyt]

"Are you ever going to settle down" p.g

pairings: piere gasly x f!reader

warnings: rushed ending, sexual interactions mentioned

masterlist

“Are you ever going to settle down?” my middle-aged aunt sat across from me and asked with the same passive-aggressive smile she gave the rest of the family. I could feel my own mother tense at her words knowing a relationship is the last thing I want and I expressed that very proudly. But instead of trying to get into another stupid argument on how I don’t need a guy to fulfill my needs and wants I just shook my head and smiled the fakest I’ve ever gave. 

“I’m content on my own” I summarized my speech that wanted to itch out of my throat. Her smile dropped before being replaced with one that leaked sympathy, something I hate being the reciprocate of. She turned to my mom, hoping to hear some words from her but all she got was a shrug. 

“What about having children?” I had clearly seen that question coming, being nearly 28 and having most women figures in my family start their family in their early twenties, it's strange to hear someone claim they don’t want kids. At least any time soon. 

“Not in the plan right now,” I said with the urge to leave, hating the interrogating questions. I’ve had my fair share of relationships and I figured out they just aren’t for me. Plus, I am terrible with kids. All the kids I’ve approached just see me as a quiet, intimidating person that stares down at them because they refused to go down on their knees as they have a sensitive backs. 

Later on that same day, I was on a call with my friend of nearly a decade complaining about my aunt and her unnecessary sympathy. 

“Maybe you should consider going back into dating,” she said on edge because she knew how much I hated when people suggested the option. Instead of declaring the same thing I did with my aunt, I simply stared her down until she rolled her own eyes. “Just saying. You can’t live your whole life in a club and hook up with the first person you deem attractive”

“Doesn’t sound so bad” I shrugged but knowing it was a terrible life path. “Besides, I just don’t think there are people out there who want the same things as me. To not have kids right away, to be lenient and just let the relationship be itself until it either ends or feels right.”

“There are lots but okay,” she said and I wanted to groan, starting to become frustrated at the entire situation. “How about I set you up with someone?”

“You?” I asked already hating the idea of that happening. She nodded before saying “Hear me out. I have this distant friend who lives near you, I think you’ve seen him at my boyfriend birthday. Really nice, definitely your type”

“Type? Are we in high school?” I said judging her choice of words making her now the one to give me a blank stare. 

“Shut up. Besides, it will give you a chance to escape from the whole relationship talk with your aunt”

The more I thought about it, the more it didn’t sound so insane to me. Doesn’t hurt to give it a chance, right?

“Fine,” I said and she smiled brightly. “If this doesn’t work, you have to name your kid after me” 

“Never happening. But, if this does work, you have to allow me to make a speech at your wedding” and like that, we made a deal. 

I dressed in a simple outfit, figuring it was going to be cold wearing a blazer with a black long sleeve and dress pants. I hated going on dates because of the first impression and since I had never met this person before, their first impression is visuals. Not like I had much of a choice either way. 

I entered the coffee shop not spotting anyone that stood out and looking as if waiting for someone. I walked up to the cashier ordering a simple latte already imagining the worse as I frantically texted my friend, asking her when he would arrive. 

“Y/n?” I heard my name being spoken from a familiar french accent. I turned around and my movements froze. 

Well he’s definitely my type. I had seen him at the party my friend mentioned. I’d even talked to him, ending up at his place before leaving the next morning without exchanging another word to each other. 

My eyes widened, immediately recognizing him while he searched my face with a curious gaze, trying to recognize me before finally remembering. 

“Well, I finally got your name” he said with a small smile, finding it comical while I wanted to die internally. The one time I hooked up with a guy at a mutual party turns out to be my blind date my friend set me up with. We stood in silence for a moment before I finally looked down, no longer being able to look at his colored eyes. “Pierre”

“Y/n” I said out of pure habit before realizing he already knew my name and face palmed myself, ready to dig my own grave. He only laughed assuring it was fine, ordering his own coffee while I stood on the side waiting for him to finish. 

We sat next to a window, a small booth forcing to face each other. He was the first to speak “I honestly didn’t think I would see you again. Especially like this”

“Neither did I” i mumbled, barely heard by him. I immediately felt terrible for leaving without not saying anything. “I’m sorry for just leaving, I-”

“It’s fine” he shrugged before I could finish my excuse. “Want to start over?”

Hearing those words with his small, comforting smile somehow made me want to stay. I didn’t feel the need to run away like many other situations, I felt okay being here. I wanted to stay. 

“Sure, Pierre” testing out how his name rolled off my tongue, loving it myself. I caught his cheeks getting pinker, whether from the freezing degree whether or my two words, I’ll never know until I would ask months later. “What do you like to do?”

“Well…” and the conversation flowed from there. After the first couple of dates, he asked me out and I without much mental debatting, agreed allowing the relationship to flow on its own. 

After a long 3 years, he asked me to marry him. Again, no hesitation needed. No questioning myself whether this was for the best. 

I didn’t settle down for him. I settled down with him. 

[dovesdreaming]

Minds entwined

Summary: Cassandra is able to read someone’s mind gently but she just chose not to usually, until you. She needed to know the truth about your feelings without hurting you.

Masterlist

-

The room was dimly lit, the hum of soft machinery echoing through the space. Cassandra Nova leaned against the wall, her imposing figure cloaked in shadow, eyes gleaming with an unsettling intelligence. The Reader stood in the middle, feeling the weight of her gaze. The psychic tension was palpable, but Cassandra, for once, was holding back choosing not to pry. Yet. "You know” Cassandra said, her voice like silk, slipping between words with a dangerous ease, "I’ve never enjoyed reading a woman's mind. Something about it... unsettles me. But you” she continued, stepping forward, "You, my dear, are different”.

Your heart skipped a beat. The subtle implications behind Cassandra’s words were enough to leave anyone shaken, but it was the undertone, the invitation to explore further, that truly left you feeling exposed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” you muttered, trying to avoid eye contact. You could feel Cassandra’s presence getting closer, her figure looming, a faint smile dancing on her lips. “Oh, I think you do”.

Cassandra lifted her hand, extending it toward you. It wasn’t the forceful invasion she'd used on others this time, her touch was soft, almost tender, resting just beside your temple. “Do you really think you can hide it from me? What you're feeling... towards me?”

Your breath hitched, but you remained silent, refusing to give in to the swirling thoughts Cassandra was on the verge of accessing. Cassandra’s fingertips danced along the side of your face, her other hand brushing against the back of your neck in a surprisingly gentle, comforting gesture. “I don’t need to dig deep” Cassandra purred, her tone lower now, soothing. “You’ve kept this hidden, haven't you? It must be exhausting. Let me help ease the burden..”

Cassandra’s powers slipped into your mind with a finesse rarely employed by the telepath. It wasn't the brutal extraction of thoughts she was known for, it was something delicate, warm even.

Her lips curled into a knowing smirk as she felt the truth stir within the your mind. The feelings, the quiet yearning, the unspoken attraction were all there. Gently, Cassandra let the thoughts rise to the surface, coaxing them without force, without pain. “You want me” she whispered, her lips dangerously close to your ear now, her voice almost intoxicating. “You’ve wanted me for a while. And I, darling, find that very... compelling”. You shuddered, fighting back the admission, but it was futile. Cassandra’s eyes sparkled with triumph as she probed deeper. Her hand trailed down your neck, her psychic touch drawing out the truth that you could no longer hide. “I knew it” Cassandra breathed out, her tone dripping with satisfaction. “You’re mine”.

Your heart raced, not out of fear but something far more dangerous, desire. Cassandra leaned in, her breath hot against your skin. “You could’ve just told me, you know” Cassandra teased, her hand gently tilting tour chin up. “But I have to admit, this, this is far more satisfying”. There was no cruelty in her voice this time. Only victory. And something else. Affection. The realization hit you harder than expected. Cassandra wasn't just toying with your emotions. She felt something too, didn’t she?

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” You asked, almost breathless now, your minds still connected as Cassandra held your gaze. Cassandra smiled softly. “No, my dear. I’m not. Because I like you. More than I ever expected”. For the first time, there was a softness in Cassandra’s expression, a vulnerability only you could see, her mind still swirling with the undeniable truth they both now shared. This cat and mouse game was over. And you had both won.

-

Thank you for reading!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I remember you mentioning A court of Thorns and roses in your posts once when talking about malleus character archetype. Have you read acotar series? If so I really want to know what you think about it. Your post is how I found out this series. It's pretty meh 😕 to me but I would really like to read your thoughts on it 😊. Also are non twst related ask allowed? If not I'm truly sorry😥. You can just ignore this ask

Oh god 😅 That was such a long time ago that I can’t even locate the original post where I made that comment…

To summarize what I said then, I had expressed that the way Malleus is presented to us reminds me of the bad boy supernatural love interests in romantasy novels.I believe the online book community colloquially refers to these characters as “Shadow Daddies” and I find that hilarious. To clarify, I do NOT mean to say that Malleus is Yuu’s “canon” love interest or anything like that. When I say that Malleus is “like” a Shadow Daddy, it’s just in the tropes they share. (For example, being overpowered, brooding, and misunderstood as a “bad guy” when, in actuality, he has a heart of gold and is just lonely.)

… I’ve actually seen multiple posts comparing Malleus and Rhysand, if you can believe that 💀

The rest of my response isn’t really TWST related, so I’ll put it under the cut for ya ^^ I tried to keep my thoughts concise and free of spoilers.

But to your question! Yes, I actually have read the first three books of ACOTAR but not the novella (A Court of Frost and Starlight) or the sequel, A Court of Silver Flames. I got into the series because it was highly recommended within its genre, but I came out of it really disappointed. I continued reading hoping that it would get better, but it really did not.

Maas has this really melodramatic and yet simultaneously juvenile way of writing dialogue that does not mesh well with what I’m looking for in a romantasy read. She’ll have characters give exposition or speeches that go on for like 10 pages straight and also have supposedly wise ancient fae cracking potty jokes like a middle schooler trying to impress their friends. It makes the books a lot longer than they have to be. In actuality, the plot involves a lot of running around and having all the right questions answered by conveniently placed chess pieces. I also did not enjoy the vague world building (like several side characters are never given proper names and instead are always referred to by title) and the near-constant mention of mating bonds. What I did like was how Maas wrote action scenes and descriptions (even if they often veer into purple prose). She also comes up with some unique concepts—but the execution of those concepts isn’t great, so the ideas are left sort of shallow and floating there waiting to be fully realized.

Romantasy and fairy tale retellings are some of my favorite things to read, so I was sad that I didn’t think that highly of this beloved series. It’s been a while since I’ve read a book I’ve been able to seriously get immersed in 😔 ACOTAR’s explosive popularity has led to many other authors trying to replicate Maas’s success, which has flooded the market with horni fae books and even similar titles (“A [noun] of [nouns] and [nouns]”). (And as someone who does NOT find Malleus attractive at all, you can imagine I’m not thrilled.) I have really mixed feelings about that… While of course I don’t mind if people enjoy ACOTAR or ACOTAR-adjacent books, I dislike that it makes up the bulk of what is marketed to me. It makes it a lot harder to find something that’s more suited to my tastes.

If anyone seeing this post is interested in trying out ACOTAR, I caution you that it is a “new adult” book, meaning it is intended for older teens (I would recommend 18+, honestly). There is a lot of violence and… explicit intimate scenes… in the series.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Candy Store

Author's note: this is the next part of Mer-Cedric’s journey in the Celestial Seas AU with his bonded. First. Previous. Celestial Seas Masterlist

tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @i-am-a-dragon34

warnings: food mention, ask me to tag something if I missed it/something bothers you

Summary: Cedric brings you to his favorite candy store in the small seaside town you and he are visiting.

“How much interaction have you had with humans, before me?” You ask, looking up at the large black and white scaled mer as he flew alongside you as you and he made your way into the small seaside town you were planning on spending a couple of weeks to months working in temporarily as you stocked up on more backpacking supplies - that and the weather was going to be taking a turn for the worse in the next few weeks, and you’d rather have a more permanent roof over your head, than the tarp-tent that you used. 

“Uhm…” Cedric responded, fidgeting a little with his hands “Not much? Outside of emergency situations where they needed my help, as a healer.” 

You blink in surprise, having not known that about your aquatic companion until now. It explained why he had all sorts of satchels and bags carefully strapped to his body, and how he’d known how to wrap up your ankle when you’d tripped over a tree root and twisted it badly, a couple of weeks ago. Cedric had also insisted on carrying you for several days, after. So that your ankle could heal properly. You’d thought that he’d been overprotective at the time… But as he apparently did have medical training, you supposed that it did make sense for you to keep off of your feet while you needed ot heal. “Ah. So we tend to be a curious bunch. I’m not sure how much interaction these people have had with mer-astartes, so there’s a good chance that you’re going to attract a lot of curious attention. Most people should leave you well enough alone… And anyone dumb enough to be rude you should be able to scare off with your size.”

Cedric nodded, a soft hum leaving him, as he looked at the small town you and he were approaching “Oh! I’ve been here plenty of times. You don’t need to worry about that. A couple of my older Bruders live here, with their festhaftend, so the mort-er humans here have long gotten used to seeing us visiting from time to time.” 

“What… What’s a fest… Festhafthend?” You ask, stumbling a little over the unknown word. You politely ignore the fact that he’s once again hinted towards the fact that his people may not be mortal. You don’t know much about the supernatural species that also call Earth their home, but you do know that poking your nose into places that it doesn’t belong will get it bitten off. 

“Hmm? Oh! Bonded. It means bonded.” Cedric answers, as if that’s supposed to clarify things. He doesn’t look or sound cagey, or like he’s trying to hide something…

Which is why you ask for further clarification “What do you mean by bonded, Cedric?”

“Hmm? Oh… Sometimes an Astartes will find a being of Holy Terra - I mean Earth - whom they are bonded to. A bond is… A bond can mean different things, depending on a number of factors and I really don’t understand it but. Some brothers become like father to very young bonded, like siblings in other cases. Sometimes they become bonded like married. Other times it is the Astartes who is adopted by a being of Earth in a parental role. Bonds happen to beings of Terra and Astartes of all kinds.” Cedric explains, fidgeting more with his hands “It is. Hard to explain. In part because I have never bonded myself. It is apparently a very singular experience.”

You have so many more questions, but the genuinely perplexed expression on the young Mer’s face causes you to decide that when you get to a cafe with free or cheap wifi, you’re going to spend some of the time that you use charging your phone and external batteries looking up those terms, to see if there is any information on these bonds known on the internet. Not that you’d take everything said on the internet as gospel truth. 

~

“Oh! Come with me, this place is very good! And they give out some of their products for free! Very tasty.” Cedric almost chirped down at you, his bright blue eyes lighting up with a nearly childish glee, after you’d checked into a relatively cheap hotel room for the week. He was waiting for you at the door to your room, practically vibrating with excitement.

You can’t help but chuckle a little at his clear enthusiasm “Sure thing, Cedric.” You had your external charges charging in the room and had a couple of good prospects for seasonal work that paid decently already… Besides if you absolutely had to, you could dip into the saving that you had, but you were pretty sure it wouldn’t come to that. 

You’re surprised when Cedric practically drags you over to a brightly painted candy shop, advertising over a hundred and seventy different kinds of salt water taffy flavors. The scent of freshly made chocolates and cooling caramel hits your tongue, and your mouth begins to water. You swallow back your saliva and walk into the cool front room.

There is an older woman behind the counter, where you can see a half-dozen different flavors of fruit-based gummy candy, sugar crystals shining pleasantly in the light. You can also see a dozen or so buckets of ice cream with their tops off in a chiller counter, the names of the flavors up for sale. There are dozens of different kinds of chocolate and chocolate-dipped things. On one wall of the candy shop are different flavors of honey. 

The bulk of the shop, however, is devoted to the many different flavors of taffy, each kind in clear plastic containers that reach floor to ceiling. There is a prize wheel near the payment counter that catches your attention. The older woman calls out cheerfully “Hello young Cedric! How are you today?”

“I’m good, Irene! I’ve brought a friend in to see the delicious sweets you have for sale.” He answers with a bright grin “I have aloe ointment and wound-healing bandages for trade. Oh! I also have some of those pain-reliever ointments for trade as well.”

“Oh who’s this friend? A new-... Oh! A human-shaped friend. I see.” Irene hummed, a warm smile appearing on her sun-weathered face. “Are you going to introduce them to Arnault and Roland later? I’m sure that they’d very much like to meet this new friend of yours.” There is a lilting, almost teasing note in her voice “I was wondering when you’d get a bonded.”

“I would like to introduce you to Roland and Arnault, but you are not my bonded. At least I don’t think you are?” Cedric huffed, his ear fins flicking rapidly as they turn a rosy color. He explains that you’d helped him calm down when a thunderstorm had badly startled him, and in exchange for your selfless help, he’d offered to travel with you for a time.

“I see… Well it was very kind of you to help him, dear. Not many would approach a visibly anxious Astartes, especially one they’ve never met before. That was quite brave and kind of you.” Irene murmured, a gentle expression appearing on her face as she reaches over the counter to gently pat Cedric on the elbow. “Do you know what you’d like to try for free this time, Cedric?”

“Mm-hmm! I want to try the chocolate bon-bon filled with lemon creme, please.” Cedric answered, carefully reading off the label, squinting a little at it.

“The dark chocolate, or the milk chocolate? Also the inside is going to taste both tart and creamy.” Irene responded, smiling a little brighter.

“I know! Miss Angela gave me a small slice of lemon meringue pie the other day. It was. Really intense! But very good.” Cedric answered cheerfully. 

“Alright, then. I just wanted to give you a little warning, since I know that Mer-Astartes have a more enhanced sense of taste than we humans do.” Irene hummed, handing over the chocolate he’d asked. “And for you, dear?” She asks, looking to you.

“I think I’ll try the orange gummy fruit slice please.” You answer, as all of them look good, but gummy candy can have an off-putting texture, and you’d rather know for sure before having to pay for any of them.

“Here you go. One orange fruit slice for you.” The older human answered with a kindly smile on her face. “Now, I believe it’s time for you both to spin the prize wheel! One spin per visit, and you get what it says on the slice of the wheel it lands on. The grand prize being a free quarter pound of any kind of candy you’d like.”

Cedric has already finished his piece of chocolate and eagerly glides over to the prize wheel. He grabs hold of it with two fingers and with the barest flick of hs wrist, sends it spinning and spinning, the steady tap-tap-tapping sound of the marker against the spokes of the prize wheel pleasant to listen to.

It eventually slows down and stops just one to the right of the quarter-pound of free candy, giving Cedric four free honey sticks of flavor or flavors of his choice. He immediately heads over to the small jars holding the sticks of honey to choose and you give the wheel a spin.

The wheel spins for less time, even though you do give it a good heave. You’re also able to get the quarter pound of free candy - which amounts to twenty pieces of taffy, among other options. 

You very much enjoy picking out the twenty different flavors of taffy that sound delicious to you, before going over to the ice cream section of the store. The day has gotten nearly unbearably warm, and an ice cream cone sounds delightful to you. Cedric joins you at the payment counter and carefully pulls out two small, tightly sealed jars and slides them over to Irene, who picks them up and nods “Thank you, dears. Enjoy your purchases!”

You blink, having grabbed out your wallet to pay “Are… Are you sure?”

“Oh yes. Cedric’s pain-relieving cream works wonders for my arthritis. This is payment enough. Go on and enjoy the late-summer sunshine! It’s a beautiful day out.” Irene murmurs, gently but firmly refusing your money with a shake of her head.

“Alright, if you say so…” You blink in surprise but nod.

You happily start to eat your ice cream as you wander out onto the wooden boardwalk, Cedric at your side, taking in the sights of the small seaside town.

[zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u]

Headcanon time: Who might be on the aroace spectrum in a sex game?

I missed arospec week by... a few weeks lol. And hey look i'm making a Nukani headcanon post instead of a questionable theorizing analysis for once! If you have contributions for characters I don't have enough info on (especially Quincy), please add on!

Disclaimer: I'm aromantic but allosexual. For me, this means I experience sexual attraction, but not romantic attraction. In my local kink scene, I actually personally know several community members + friends who are asexual or aromantic or both, and some engage in sex while some don't. And lastly for demographic proof only, I'm in an unofficial discord server where some unspecified members are asexual, but they still play this porn game, so yes not everyone who plays this game are into romance or sex.

TLDR: someone can be asexual or aromantic or on the aroace spectrum and still have sex but that varies for everyone!

Now that that's out of the way, here are my headcanon times! None of this is true or ever will be true due to the marketing of a porn harem game, but I think it's fun to headcanon! Feel free to disagree cause I know how people reacted to that "Is Aster trans" reddit post.

Speaking of Aster. I think he's also aroacespec! In his SR room 5, we got text narration ONE time that he gushed or orgasmed or something with a vague hot rod behind Eiden's back. But we've never seen Aster naked nor involve his genitals with another body in the 5 H scenes we have with him. And unlike EVERY other character, he’s only described to have orgasmed once. He also constantly talks down on morvay’s sexual habits, and while it’s a running gag that’s played for laughs, isn’t it possible Aster actually thinks this way? But is still willing to engage in sexy times with Morvay because they're essence creatures so that's how you exchange essence, and they’re basically an old married couple & deep down they do care about each other. And remember what I said about aromantic or asexual people who still engage in kink or sex.

Next, Karu my beloved chew toy. At the time I wrote Garu/Karu analysis part 1, I thought both of them were firmly allosexual but also presented some evidence someone could use to argue Karu might be demi or aroace or something else. But the more I think about it, the more I think yeah, he might be. Or he’s just a tsundere. I swear I'm not delusional and am a logical canon-based theory fan. (Btw, according to google searching, it is possible for different alters to have different sexualities, so this does not apply to Garu).

Quincy- I have never watched a Quincy intimacy room (including his SR & R cards that I have unlocked) but my vibes based off all the other story content with him makes me think he might be in the umbrella, so Grey-ace, Demi, etc. From what I’ve heard other people say, Quincy has had a lover in the past but currently only has sex if Eiden begs for it. This might fit into the definition of people who don't really care for sex themselves, but is interested in it for their partner. If anyone has Quincy cards and has more information, please let me know!

Huey: ok so we have almost no information on him. But he didn’t have sex with his clan members. He was definitely not romantically invested in any of his clan members nor do I recall him having hints of being sexually or romantically invested in anyone else, which does not equate aromantic or asexual but its still possible. And that’s all I got. Anyone got additional input?

Eiden: ah our beloved Eiden. Let’s ignore that in meta, he’s supposed to be the audience self insert (even though he’s the least self insert type MC ever) and therefore he is not going to “prioritize” one ship over another.

Anyways, so I am 100% sure he’s not asexual. BUUUUT he has not expressed romantic lovey dovey attraction to his clan members. More significantly, he does not seem to pick up MULTIPLE clan members’ romantic hints towards him. Yes in Fateful Aegis, Eiden says “I love you too” back to Yakumo, but it’s prefaced with something like Your grandparents love you and I love you too-ish, which to me indicates found family love. Kuya has said the Chinese/Japanese equivalent of “I love you” (“the moon is bright/the moonlight is beautiful tonight”) and that totally went over Eiden’s head. Dante & Edmond are also intensely crushing on Eiden… but they’re tsunderes so it’s probably gonna take forever to get across. The other members are different types of dedicated but open relationships rather than traditionally romantic relationships (except for Rei, who’s still getting there). And I think this is a great thing! All these varying relationship styles that are given the same weight & importance & Eiden has such appreciation & care for all of them, despite not providing traditionally romantic affection back.

Aromantic people can still love their friends & family! We’re not heartless emotionless creatures. We just may not experience or be able to comprehend romantic attraction. And i don’t think that’s a defect nor a bad thing.* And I think it’s especially cool when we compare Eiden’s bad hookup habits in the real world with how he has multiple regular partners that truly value him and a new found family in Klein. If he was aromantic this whole time, it’s kind of a positive perspective, isn’t it? Some aromantic people do experience “squishes”, which is a term for when we feel emotional desire for a platonic relationship. Obviously none of Eiden’s relationships are truly platonic due to the sexual element, but they all lack the romantic element from Eiden’s side.

(Anyways, Eiden won’t ever “reciprocate” romantic love because it’s a harem game, but shhhhh. Also to anyone who says it’s an Asian game and the characters aren’t going to say “I love you”…. Well in their newest intimacy rooms, both Kuya and Yakumo literally just did. Heck one of Forest Night Kuya’s sprite dialogues repeats that!)

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this pointless headcanons!

*Speaking from my personal experience, I’ve have several sexual partners over time, but I never had the desire to date them or be romantically invested in them. And a weirdly telltale sign, that Jaidenanimation pointed out quite nicely, is that when she listened to romance songs she was like “wait that’s what people experience when they’re in love???” I’ve read a TON of romance and have heard a TON of love songs, but I cannot relate to any one of them. I literally have not felt any of those feelings. And when I have sexual partners, the horniness is definitely the forefront compared to any “falling in love” feelings. I did have what I now realize were several “squishes” in high school/college. What squishes feel like to me, are like “I wanna be your friend & you’re really cool & I cherish you! Like a lot! And also I don’t mind if you fucked me!” which emotionally feels different from “I’m in love with you!!!” (Which yeah i still don’t know what “in love” feels like, and I’m fine with not knowing!).

[teenandbeyond]

hi, this my one of my first requests so i hope im doing this right!

can i request an nsfw senku x fem best friend reader that had similar traits as senku, where they both barely show they’re attracted to anyone, and turns down anyone who has feelings for them. but then they start catching feelings for each other, but both are having a hard time expressing it, and eventually senku is the one to step up? also senku gets a little submissive towards the end of the smut, and reader finds out she likes seeing him like that? sorry if it’s too specific! <3

Senku x Fem. Best Friend Reader

Low-key, I wasn't in a smut-writing mood, so I made it vague xD Edit: This reminds me of my Dr. Stone OC with Senku a little lol

Want more from me? Masterlist 2

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🧪Illogical🧪 (Dr. Stone)

Warning(s): Subtle smut, if petrification didn't happen

When two scientists who find love illogical catch feelings...

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“It’s [Name]! The Ice Queen!”

You sigh, sauntering down the hall.

“There goes that name again…” you mutter.

Why do they call you that?

 

“H-Hey, [Name]?” a boy approaches you, averting his gaze.

“Mm?” you acknowledge, disinterested as you work on your current project in biochemistry.

“I’ve liked you since first year, w-will you go out with me?”

With furrowed brows you turn from your notes, “Since first year?”

His smile became hopeful, “Yeah!”

“And you waited until almost the end of our third year to say anything? That’s pretty sad, dude.”

‘Dude’ Attack Used! Fatality!

“Yeah…”

You could be pretty brutal with rejections, which annoyed you when after three years, people didn’t get the hint.

But to be fair, you were a triple threat, crazy smart, mysterious, and you’re beautiful.

And that’s why you were the Ice Queen, brutal with rejections—cold more often than not, and your beauty gave a mysterious air to your vibe.

To make matters worse, Senku was your best friend (who was also brutal with rejection).

So whenever you were together brutality was doubled.

“[Name]! Date me!” a boy nervously bowed, shoving a letter at you.

You raised a brow, “That’s not very original, the last boy did that.”

Senku shared a glance with you, “Creativity really lacks at this school, huh? This is 10 billion percent boring.”

“Really. Trigonometry would be better to waste my time with,” you sighed.

“Um…”

“Is he crying?”

“I should be the one crying, he came up to me out of nowhere with that. I feel attacked.”

The only person who you seemed to be playful around was Senku along with your other two friends at times.

“Is that why you’re rejecting me? Are you with Senku-senpai?”

You tilted your head, “No, neither of us are into the romance thing.”

But really, you were in denial.

Because something had developed, somehow for Senku.

You’d never thought of romance before with anyone.

It scared you, and you knew he was far from your mindset.

So, you pretended it wasn’t there.

Unbeknownst to you, Senku was in the same predicament.

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath, tearing his gaze from you.

You looked so peaceful as you focused, unaware of the small smile on your face.

He’d never felt like this toward a girl before, he’d always been immune to this feeling.

Yet now, he was staring at you again. And his thoughts were yet again on you instead of his project he was currently working on.

You occupied his mind a lot, especially lately. Like his body decided all his hormones would assault him at full speed suddenly.

He blinked away the thoughts that tried to creep from the corner of his brain he’d shoved them to.

Now, based on general knowledge the both of you knew what it was.

But it was against your logical mindset, you weren’t supposed to have feelings for anyone.

Let alone each other.

And you couldn’t tell the other because you knew they didn’t like romance.

So, there was no way either of you could say anything, not that you knew how to express it anyway.

So, you found yourselves circling around this situation and the tension that began to build.

Then summer was edging closer, you had both planned to go to the same college, but you had another offer that was tempting.

Asked on video-chat one night, “Why do you want to go there all of a sudden?”

You applied face cream to your cheek, “Well, this college offers pretty much all of the same things, only difference is it’d be here in Japan instead of America. So, there wouldn’t be any reason for me to leave. Right?”

That statement echoed in his mind relentlessly for days, it didn’t sit right.

Deep down he knew why, but…he didn’t know if he could tell you.

 

“It’d be weird to not see you every day, though,” you chuckled.

He’d hate that, being limited to video-chat if he wants to see your face.

 

“Me,” he blurted one day.

“Huh? ‘You’, what?”

He looked into your eyes, leaning in,“Your reason to go. You can go for me.”

“Y-you? Why—”

“We both know why, [Name]. It’s ten billion percent pointless to keep dodging it.”

“I…I know. I just—I’m scared…”

“Scared?”

“Well, this is new. And…not logical…emotions are always a scary thing. You don’t have logic to hide behind, you have to be—"

“Human. Yeah, that scares me, too.”

“But…you’re right, we can’t avoid it forever,” you admitted.

The tension became much more apparent as you gazed at each other.

“Senku…”

“[Name]…”

 

You two were like magnets; a sudden pull overcame you.

At first, curious, unsure.

Then as you grew more comfortable, you gained some confidence.

And as scientists, you were definitely fine with asking questions.

“Senku? Is this okay?”

He tossed his head back, before looking down at you, “Yeah, definitely fine.”

And Senku loved to experiment with something he had yet to learn.

“Who would’ve thought the Ice Queen…would be so warm?” he muttered against your back with a smirk.

“Shut—Ah~!”

You saw another side of each other that day.

And you edged close to the end, but couldn’t get that release…

You watched as Senku let out a desperate whimper, something you’d never expected to hear from him.

His cheeks flushed, brows furrowed.

The cute expression was all you needed.

[swallowerofdharma]

The language of that fall from grace won’t get us home*

I really love manga as a visual language and its various possibilities of storytelling. Among the vocabulary that can be oh so cleverly used, there is the juxtaposition of images or scenes to show similarities or contrast between concepts in the arc of a single chapter. In chapter 2 Yashiro and Doumeki have the first serious talk between them. This time deflection is out of the question and Doumeki has to give up his background and family history, since his sister Aoi has been loitering outside of the office. Yashiro is surprised to learn that Doumeki was in the police and, even if he lost his job and served a prison sentence, his motives and actions were far from the common acts of violence committed by petty criminals who become yakuza. “There is one thing I want to ask you though. How did a former police officer end up in a place like this? Why didn’t you leave when you were told to work for me?” Yashiro asks. And the answer probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to Yashiro. Because Doumeki saw him and thought he was beautiful and a beautiful person in the yakuza meant that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get involved? Without beating around the bush, Yashiro asks directly if Doumeki is gay. Maybe he discovered it in prison? So here there are probably some nuances that need a little bit of attention and some flexibility. I don’t really know who is going to read my analysis but surely enjoying this manga are people from different backgrounds and cultural contexts. Are you gay? Is this character gay? What definitions are we using? Let’s be clear then first, this is just an attempt to analyze what Yashiro and Doumeki talk about, not general statements or definitions. So let’s stay in the text, with these characters and their particular experiences and thoughts and hang-ups and their critical vocabulary. After all shouldn’t understanding come before agreement or disagreement? So let’s suspend our beliefs for a moment while reading the chapter.

“Are you a homo? Did you learn the pleasures of anal while you were in prison?”

“I don’t think I’m homosexual. I never was. But since I can’t get it up right now, I can’t say for sure”.

First of all, for these men to define their sexuality the body seems like the place to look, physical responses are less vague than just thinking someone is attractive. Finding anal sex pleasurable or getting an erection, being able to perform, as in maintaining an erection, and reaching an orgasm, these are observable facts, these are things very basic and easy to understand. And even when this is putting it simply, the reasoning around defining sexual orientation for men comes back to the physical reality often in the common language, in the crass language and in practice. Having become impotent and never having experienced anal sex from the receiving end, from the body’s standpoint Doumeki can’t know more than two things: he wasn’t gay before, we will learn more later about his experiences with women, but he knows that he rejected sexual advances in prison or didn’t feel anything about the guy who gave him a blowjob, while with Yashiro something is different. Yashiro inquires further, after all a young man having an infatuation with an older man can be quite common, but often it’s just admiration and the desire for mentorship, guidance and recognition, rather then being something sexual in nature. If Doumeki can’t be sure because he doesn’t get hard, then maybe he can admit that he felt some form of repulsion towards Yashiro when he gave him a blowjob or when he had gay sex in front of him. I think this is the direction of the dialogue until Doumeki says something unexpected: “I’m not sure. I’ve never met anyone like you in my entire life so…”. Suddenly Yashiro is the one who deflects from the conversation, although he can’t help a gesture of affection for this man who doesn’t express disgust towards his behavior.

Little digression here, but following the logic of physical response and physical pleasure only, Yashiro saying that he is bisexual makes a lot of sense since he feels arousal and gets hard with women too, although he prefers the pleasure he gets from being on the receiving end with men. Matters of consent don’t seem to count in this reasoning, although Yashiro gets angry when Doumeki cosplaying as a cop says that if someone doesn’t object or is into it then that can’t be considered rape, at the beginning of chapter 4. I believe there is something inside Yashiro that knows how wrong that idea actually is, that sometimes you are unable to voice your dissent out loud or your body doesn’t fight it but instinctively retreats into what it learned from experience and worked before, even fabricating pleasure from pain. And that maybe physical responses aren’t reliable enough to make sense of our feelings. But there is another experience that Yashiro knows, and that is that his feelings for Kageyama are independent from what little physical touch passed between them, he knows and can say out loud that he fell in love with a man. That is confirmation enough that Yashiro is queer, something outside of the logic of physical pleasure, something that Yashiro still doesn’t find easier to accept than his sexual preferences and desires. On the contrary, Doumeki as he is at the moment, can only rely on his feelings, since his body is dormant, and those feelings become impossible to ignore or discard because they are calling him and awakening him, giving him hope and direction when he had felt like he had lost everything. So why did I start this analysis announcing a juxtaposition?

The rain keeps falling as we transition into another day when Aoi is back, this time under her own umbrella. Yashiro manages to get her in a caffè to talk alone, without Doumeki knowing, and even tells her about his own experience, because having someone else who knows what that’s like is more than just a generic expression of sympathy. Yashiro can’t help but be self deprecating and stating how different he actually is from her - we will learn how he convinced himself that rape is harder on women or that he somehow doesn’t deserve to be treated with any sort of care. But Aoi, although she is surprised, doesn’t judge him harder than she judges herself as well, for putting Doumeki and her family in an awful situation. Not a lot a pages, not a lot of words, but there are so many things being said or implied, so much complexity and an instant connection. When she confesses her feelings for her brother and she shows how confused and conflicted she is and she cries because her love was not only unrequited but also unnatural, since she is sure she would have loved him even if there was a blood relation, Yashiro recognizes the same type of pain he felt when he recognized his feelings for Kageyama. Stripped down to his own honest responses and after all his stepfather did to him, he still couldn’t help but love a man and one who rejected him. Love came to both Yashiro and Aoi regardless their impossible circumstances and felt wrong and painful and unacceptable to the ones they directed their feelings to. For a moment, we don’t know how long, Yashiro can only watch Aoi cry silently, while his cigarette turns into ashes. And looking out at the window, at the light coming through after the rain, he makes a decision, he won’t fire Doumeki unless he asks to leave himself. Notice how these types of decisions come and how things can change, how these characters are following their hopes or intuition until the next moment they are confronted with another decision to make, another circumstance, and how the storytelling is based on the characters’ little weaknesses and on serendipity, so much so that if we don’t pay enough attention we can miss these delicate threads. This is Yoneda-Sensei’s storytelling. And the composition of the chapter works around these images and these three people trying to make sense of falling in love in ways that defy common beliefs or expectations, ever their own. How they are getting caught in a love that feels distinct and not subject to some type of physical response or banal logic or law or rationale. How useless is fighting against it sometimes, or how love can feel like pain and feel like hope at the same time.

*frase is from a review written by Kevin Brazil about a book called An Apartment on Uranus by Paul B. Preciado and published in ArtReview on March 1st, 2020.

[ravencoloredroses]

All That Matters

Nyx x Reader (Eris’ daughter)

Summary: Nyx and Eris’ daughter have known each other their whole lives. With a new alliance forming between the Autumn Court and the Night Court, their hatred towards each other will be challenged as they are forced to grow closer.

Word Count: 6,445

Warning: Swearing

A/N: request by anonymous: “Nyx and Eris' daughter!!!! Idk why but the idea of it is just so exciting for me. Since there dads are friendly (kinda) high lords they've known and seen each other around alot but are enemies to lovers” I love these characters so much! I might make another story with them… something like romeo and juliet maybe??

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The last time my father wanted to see me in his office was when I was being sent away to boarding school. I’m not as naive as I was back then, but I know that whatever he has to tell me, I will have little to no say in. That's how it’s always been and always will be.

Being the only daughter to the High Lord of the Autumn Court, I’m widely considered a spoiled brat who gets everything she asks for, which isn’t necessarily false. But people don’t realize, or don’t even want to realize, that every decision is made for me. What I wear, what I eat, how I talk, how much I talk, what events I go to and who I’m allowed to be seen with.

My older brother is the heir, the golden child, he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants without anyone questioning anything. It pisses me off and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

I take a few deep breaths to try and calm my nerves, emphasis on try, then push open the office door. My father has an unreadable expression on his face as he tells me to take a seat.

“Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?”

He’s stalling

“Good morning father, it was alright.”

I take note of his stiff posture, the stacks of documents on his desk and the mountain of crumpled pieces of paper in the garbage can. This can’t be good.

“As you know, it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of our people here in Autumn and sometimes that responsibility falls onto you. Alliances are an important part in ensuring our people are safe, especially in times of war.

“I’ve spoken with my advisers on this matter, but the final decision is mine to make and I’ve decided an alliance with the Night Court is in our best interest.”

I’m not quite sure what any of this has to do with me and my confusion must show on my face because my father elaborates.

“Rhysand, Feyre and I have come to an agreement that you will marry their son Nyx, before the week is out.”

“W-what? Father, you can’t be serious.” This has to be a joke, there is no way he’s actually suggesting I marry that Night Court piece of shit.

Nyx is slightly older than I am, meaning we’ve seen each other at almost every event for our entire lives. He’s never been nice to me, not once. Even when we were really little he was a bully, the type of kid to ‘fall’ off the swing set and then go crying to mommy blaming you for it.

As an adult he’s not any better, walking around like he’s better than everyone and has girls practically falling at his feet when he just looks at them. I don’t blame them though, when you look in his eyes it’s like you’re deep diving in the ocean and will never run out of air. I’ve never seen anything like it and if he ever looked at me the way he does some of them, I don’t even know what I would do.

But he only looks at me with eyes of disgust and hatred, which is fine by me, the feeling is mutual. He might be the most attractive male I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s one of the worst people I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. And now I’m marrying him.

“I know it’s out of the blue and a little rushed, but this has to be done, it’s already been decided.”

Right. It’s not like I’m gonna be spending the rest of my immortal life with him, so why does it matter what I think?

“Nyx is okay with this?” He shrugs his shoulders.

“You will be moving to the Night Court with him and when Rhysand and Feyre pass on, you will be expected to rule alongside Nyx and produce an heir.”

There’s nothing I can say or do that will make any of this better, so I just put my head down and shut up. I can, and will, cry my eyes out later.

“Yes, father.”

“Perfect. Now, go and enjoy your day, the weather looks lovely.”

This day is going to be anything but enjoyable. As I make my way back up to my room I pass a couple members of our staff, they must be able to tell that I wish to be left alone because they don’t even make eye contact with me. I’m appreciative of that, I don’t think I could handle sympathy looks right now.

Closing and locking my door behind me, I collapse on the ground and let my tears fall, holding my hand over my mouth to control the noise. I sit like this for hours, at least it feels like hours, and when my tears have finally dried up, I head over to my bathroom. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror, turn the faucet on and start to undress.

Normally, a bath with my favorite soaps will soothe me, but this time it does absolutely nothing. I wait for my fingertips to prune to get out of the tub, then change into my nightgown and head to bed; I just need this day to be over.

“You look lovely, dear.” My stylist asks me to twirl so they can view my whole look. I have to admit, I do look lovely, but none of that matters right now, today is the day where I lose whatever remains of my freedom.

“Can I have a minute with my sister?” My brother slips into the room and I give a small nod to my staff.

“Did you know?” I’ve been curious about this since my father told me, he always talks to my brother first.

“I did.” He looks down, ashamed. “Nyx is a good male, he won’t harm you.”

“You can’t possibly promise me that.” He closes the distance between us and grabs my hand.

“You are my favorite sister, if he even pulls a hair out from your head I will knock a few of his teeth out.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m your only sister and you won’t even be living with me anymore, how will you know if he harms me?”

He cracks a smile and releases my hands. “I have my ways dear sis, I have my ways. If you need to, look at me in the audience, I’ll be in the front row.” He winks and walks back out the door, which is soon opened again by a staff member.

“It’s time, my lady.”

I’m handed a bouquet and suddenly I’m walking towards the altar on a flowered path. I round the corner and I feel about 1,000 pairs of eyes on me so I look down and focus on not falling. I make the mistake of looking up and see Nyx standing there waiting for me. His eyes run over my body and I swear there was a smile on his face, but it’s quickly replaced with a blank stare when we make eye contact.

He extends a hand to help me up the small staircase while a member of my ‘bridal party’ takes my bouquet and fixes my dress. I’m mad at myself for the way my heart beats faster because I know it’s just an act for him to appear like a gentleman. I stare down at our joined hands and zone out for a while until I hear Nyx’s deep voice say “I do.” My eyes jump up to meet his and I realize everyone is waiting for me.

“I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Fuck. I forgot about this part. Nyx pulls me close and presses his lips to mine. I try not to think about how soft they are or how long this is lasting, but it’s pretty damn hard to do that as his hand moves to the back of my neck and presses me closer.

Is this all for show too?

When he finally pulls away and faces us towards the audience, my eyes search out my brother. He’s watching me with somewhat of a proud expression. I notice Nyx’s family -my new family- looking at us with watchful eyes, that’s not surprising based on the little knowledge I have of these people. I’m surprised Rhysand agreed to this if I’m being honest. The Autumn and Night Courts have never gotten along, but once my grandfather died of ‘natural causes’, Rhysand and my dad became friendly with each other.

Nyx walks me back down the aisle without dropping my hand and then we head off to my new home, the Night Court.

It takes longer than I thought it would to get there, but it might have just been because it was dead silent the whole time. I thought that we would be living in the same house as the rest of Nyx’s family, but apparently we have our own place. Maybe it will be better this way, maybe this will give Nyx and I time to get along.

On the outside it looks like just a small cottage nestled into the mountains, but the inside is incredibly spacious and already filled with everything we will need. Newly renovated kitchen and bathroom, a cozy living room, an office and a bedroom with a walk-in closet and an attached bathroom. A bedroom. Singular.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” He announces while walking past me into the bathroom. Well, that settles that I guess. I change out of my uncomfortable dress and into a large sweater and leggings, then begin to unpack my things. When Nyx re-emerges from the bathroom he has changed as well, trading his tuxedo for a simple cotton t-shirt and sweatpants. I meet him in the hallway and start to ask about what’s next, but he doesn’t let me.

“I don’t care what you do, so long as it doesn’t involve me. I will be gone all day and only return for sleep to appease my parents. Do whatever you want.” He walks out the front door and flys away. Isn’t your wedding supposed to be the happiest day of your life?

I noticed multiple bookshelves when we first arrived, but I didn’t get the chance to see what books were on it. I find one that looks good and sit down on the couch to begin reading.

I didn’t notice the sky getting dark, but as I finish my book my stomach growls and I realize I haven’t eaten since this morning. I go into the kitchen and find a can of chicken noodle soup in one of the cupboards. I grab a pot and start to warm it up. Once it’s at a good temperature, I grab a bowl to pour it in and sit down at the table to eat.

Just as I get up to wash my bowl, Nyx marches through the door. He walks right past me into the bathroom without even a glance. When he comes back out, he plops down on the couch. I sigh and start to get ready for bed. Is this what the rest of my life is gonna be like?

Three days. The same routine for three more days. It’s been almost a full week since our wedding and he’s completely avoiding me.

It’s around dusk when a loud knock sounds at my front door. I mark my place in my book and open the door to find my brother standing there.

“Hey! What are you-“

“Where is he?” He pushes right past me into the house.

“Nyx? He’s. He’s um.”

“You don’t know, do you?” He spins around to face me and I shake my head in embarrassment. “How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

“Three days.”

“That fucking asshole. Who does he think he is? The fucking king?” He starts to pace around the room and keeps spitting out insults about Nyx.

“Why are you here, brother?” I ask to stop him.

“I told you I’d be checking up on you, I’ve been seeing you doing the same thing everyday. That male has no right to keep you here locked up while he goes out doing mother knows what!”

He’s right. I know he’s right, but why do I feel this urge of protectiveness towards Nyx? He’s probably just busy, right? He’s the heir so he has a bunch of important things to be doing. But all day?

“Don’t worry, I’ll go find him and put an end to this.” He doesn’t give me a chance to reply before he’s storming out the door and slamming it behind him.

It’s not until I’m about to go to bed that I hear the front door open. I sit on the bed and listen for footsteps. They stop outside the bedroom door, I hear a sigh and then a light knock.

“Come in.” I call out, Nyx slowly pushes the door open and steps inside. He looks like he just got punched in the face. His left cheek is already starting to bruise and his eyes are red and puffy. Has he been crying?

“Nyx! What happened?” I go to get up but he puts his hand out signially me to stay sitting.

“I’ll be okay, but-“ He takes a deep breath. “We need to talk.” No good conversation ever starts with that phrase.

“Oh- okay. About what?”

“I want to apologize.” He says as he sits down on the bed next to me. I was not expecting that. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. It’s not fair to you and it was wrong for me to treat you that way. I know you have no obligation to accept my apology, but I’d at least like to have the opportunity to start over. If that’s okay with you.” He takes a deep breath and looks up at me.

“Did I do something to make you hate me?”

“No!” He rakes his hand through his hair and sighs. “When we were kids, I was intimidated by you. You had everything I’ve ever wanted, independence, confidence and I hated you for that.” He looks up at me. “I treated you like shit to make myself feel better. It was dumb and I was an idiot and I’m so sorry. I know that this relationship was forced on both of us, but if you would allow me to, I’d like to actually give it a try. I’ve um- I’ve had feelings for you for a while, and for the longest time I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t true. But it is true and I feel like I ruined any chance that we had and I completely understand if you want nothing to do with me anymor-“

“Nyx.” I cut him off and slowly move my hands to grab his, giving him enough time to pull away if he wanted to. He doesn’t. “I accept your apology. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the things you did hurt me.” I take a deep breath. “But it’s nothing that we can’t work past and I feel like starting over is a great idea.”

I give his hand a slight squeeze and then let go. “Would you like me to grab the first aid kit?” His face has only gotten worse since he came in. He gives me a small nod, I go into the bathroom and come back to hand him the box.

“Thank you.” He whispers and I know he’s not just talking about the kit.

“You’re welcome.”

It’s around time for dinner when I finish putting all my stuff away. I haven’t seen Nyx since we've talked, but I think he’s in the office, so I gently knock on the door and wait for an answer. I hear soft footsteps approach and he slowly opens the door. “I was just wondering if you wanted to eat dinner… with me… soon?”

Nyx looks behind him at the clock on the wall and then steps out into the hallway with me. “Sure.”

I must have been staring at the kitchen for a while because Nyx moves into my vision.

“You’ve never cooked before, have you?”

I shake my head and look down at my hands. “No.” I only know how to heat things up. I’ve never cooked anything so I can already tell this is gonna be embarrassing.

“I can teach you. If you want.” I look up at him, shocked. “My mom, she taught me. It’s not as hard as it seems.” He walks over to one of the cabinets and pulls out a pot. “How do you feel about spaghetti?”

“I think that sounds great.” He gives me a small smile, places the pot on the stove and walks back over to me.

“Okay. Step one, you're going to have to pull your hair up.”I subconsciously reach back to touch my hair.

“Right. I- um. I don’t have a hair tie…” He gets up and walks into the bedroom, then comes back with a scrunchie in hand. I expect him to just hand it to me, but he twirls his finger asking me to turn around. His fingers graze the back of my neck as he picks up my hair and I hold in my shiver. He separates it into three sections and begins braiding. It doesn’t take long before he’s securing the end with the scrunchie and then steps back to view his work.

“T-Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He coughs then steps around me and heads to the stove.

“Step two, boil water.” He picks up the pot, goes to the sink and turns on the faucet. When it’s full he carefully carries it over to the stove and turns on the burner. We stare at it for a while in awkward silence until I hear bubbles popping, which I assume means it’s boiling.

“Step three, noodles.” I remember seeing the box of spaghetti in the pantry when we first arrived, so I go grab it and hand it over to him. He grabs a handful and drops them in the water. “Now we wait.” He says as he puts the box back and grabs a jar of sauce.

It was actually really interesting to see how the noodles slowly fall into the water as they soften up. “How do we know when they are done?”

He looks over at me with a smile on his face and grabs a wooden spoon. “Like this.” He picks up a noodle and throws it at the wall. It falls straight to the ground. “Ah. Needs a couple more minutes.”

“Um… What did you just do?”

“If it sticks, it’s done.”

“Oooooh.”

He laughs. “What did you think I was doing?”

“I honestly have no fucking clue.” Now we’re both laughing and it feels amazing. “Can I try the next one?”

He nods and hands me the spoon. “Go for it.”

I fish around for one in the pot, then fling it onto the wall. It sticks.

“It worked!” I place the spoon back on the counter and turn to face Nyx.

“You didn’t believe me?” He asks, jokingly and grabs a strainer from the drawer behind me. “Can you turn the burner off?” While I do, he dumps out the water leaving just the spaghetti in the strainer. “Okay. Step four, sauce.”

I try to be helpful and open the jar, but I guess I’m not strong enough so Nyx comes over to help me.

“Here, let me.” He opens it on the first try, then pours it over the noodles. “Now we eat.”

I grab two bowls from the cabinet as we head over to the table to eat.

“Thank you for teaching me. I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook.”

“You’re welcome. Spaghetti is pretty easy, next time we can try something a little more difficult if you’d like.” I smile as we continue to eat in comfortable silence. When we’ve finished Nyx offers to do the dishes while I clean up the table. After we’re done we get ready for bed and I come into the bedroom, finding Nyx staring at the bed.

“You don’t have to, anymore.” He looks at me confused. “Sleep on the couch, I mean. The bed is pretty big, so we can share it.” He gives me a small nod and heads into the bathroom.

I’ve already changed into my nightgown by the time he comes back. “Um, because of my wings I have to sleep on my stomach. I hope that’s alright.” I look over to find that he’s shirtless, just wearing loose sweatpants that are basically falling off. My eyes trail over his defined abs and the v-line that leads down to his-. My eyes jump back up and I see that he’s smirking at me. I turn my head away and clear my throat.

“Ye-Yeah that’s fine.” I never thought about how Illyrians sleep, but it makes sense that they can’t sleep on their backs. He pulls back the covers to get in and I follow shortly after.

His wings are tucked in and it looks super uncomfortable. “You can let your wings rest. I won’t mind.” He looks up at me surprised, I give him a small smile and a nod. I lay down on my back and he flares his wings out as we both drift off to sleep.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

I wake up to the light shining in through the window and a heavy weight on top of me. I slowly open my eyes to find a huge wing laying over my chest, then I notice that I’m pinned underneath the body that wing is attached to. We’re Cuddling. Even if I wanted to push Nyx off of me I couldn’t, but for some reason I don’t even bother to try. His face is nuzzled into my neck and he’s wrapped an arm around my waist. He smells so fucking good.

I lay there wide awake for who knows how long before he starts to stir. He wakes with a yawn and hugs me closer. He must realize what he’s doing because he quickly jumps up, scaring the shit out of me.

“Oh- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ His face is bright red.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” He gives me a nod and heads into the bathroom. I get up to fix the covers on the bed while I wait for him to finish. He comes out with sopping wet hair and a towel thrown loosely around his hips. I hurry into the bathroom before I can do something I’ll absolutely regret later.

I splash cold water on my face about twelve times before I actually begin getting ready.

When I come back out, Nyx is sitting on the bed holding a note. “What’s that?”

“It’s from my mom, she wants us to join them for dinner tonight.” He looks up at me and hands over the letter.

My dearest Nyx and Y/N,

I hope this isn’t too late of notice, but we would really love to see you both at our family dinner tonight. The table isn’t complete without you.

~F.

I sit down and give him the letter back. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can come up with an excuse, it's no big deal.”

“We can go.”

“Something like we have obligations elsewher- wait what did you say?”

I turn my body slightly to face him and lightly chuckle. “I said, we can go. It will be nice to meet your family.” I think. Actually wait on second thought... No, it’s gonna have to happen eventually, might as well get it over with.

“Okay, yeah. We can go. Um, I just feel like I should warn you.” Uh-oh. “My family is different from most, it can be overwhelming. Everyone has very watchful eyes, they will be tracking your every move, especially my uncle Azriel. He has… history with your father and will probably not like you at first. The same thing goes for my aunt Mor, so please don’t be offended if they don’t open up to you right away, it’s nothing personal.”

Nothing personal. I’ve heard stories of the hatred between the Autumn and Night courts, but I normally just have to deal with rude stares or nasty side comments. I’ve never eaten dinner with people who hate me.

He grabs my hand and looks over at me. “If you ever want to leave, just tell me and we'll go. No questions asked.” I nod and slightly smile. I wasn’t nervous before, but now I’m second guessing saying yes. “I promise nothing bad will happen.”

You can’t possibly promise me that.

“I have nothing to wear.” I say standing up.

“That box is addressed to you, from my mom.” He points to a box sitting on the floor that I never noticed. I place it on the bed, undo the ribbon and open the lid. Inside is the most stunning dress I’ve ever seen. Dark, navy blue suede with ¾ length sleeves. Night Court colors. Beneath a layer of tissue paper are matching heels, that thankfully aren’t too high.

Nyx leans over on the bed to peer into the box. “Oh I have something that matches that perfectly!” He runs over to the closet and returns with a suit the exact same shade.

“It’s perfect.” I look up to find him already staring at me.

“Let’s get ready, shall we?”

I brush out my curls to loosen them up a bit and move over to look in the mirror. The dress fits me perfectly, it accentuates my curves but still looks elegant. Unfortunately, even looking as good as I do does absolutely nothing to help my nerves. My hands are slightly shaking and I doubt there is anything I can do to stop it.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Nyx softly knocks on the door, his way of letting me know that I’m taking too long. One glance at the clock behind me says he’s right, we have to leave soon.

I turn around and head towards the door, Nyx has already opened it and is staring at me with an expression I can’t quite determine.

“You- You look beautiful.” His eyes roam over my figure in a way that seems far too intimate, but I love it anyway.

“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” I feel my cheeks getting hot, but that’s the least of my worries at the moment. I reach out to take his hand, but hesitate when I see that mine are still shaking. “Are you ready?” I just need to get this over with.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He extends his arm out for me to take and then winnows us off to his parents house.

“Remember, you want to leave and we leave. No questions asked.” Nyx assures me as we walk up the pathway. I give his arm a squeeze as my response because I’m saving all my energy for what’s to come.

He doesn’t knock on the door, just walks right in and the chatter that I heard from on the porch abruptly stops. Silence. Just the sound of my heels clicking on the tile.

Two dark figures round the corner, one shorter than the other but both exude power. I already know who they are before they come into the light.

“Mom, Dad, thank you for inviting us over.” Nyx lets go of my arm to give his parents a hug while I stand by myself awkwardly.

Rhysand breaks away first to greet me. “Y/N, welcome to our home. We’re so glad you could make it.” He gives my hand a slight shake and then escorts me towards what I presume to be the dining room. I’m greeted with seven unhappy faces, each one more angry than the first.

Four females, one who is doing her best to not meet my eyes, one who looks ready to chop my head off, one who looks like she has better places to be and the last one seems to be as terrified as I am. There are two winged males at the table as well, one with long hair who has a watchful gaze and the other who seems to be assessing all the ways he can kill me while these black things float around him. I already hate it here.

“Y/N, these are the members of our family. Mor, Nesta, Amren, Elain, Cassian and Azriel.” Feyre says behind me as I give a smile and take my seat between Nyx and Cassian with Azriel across from me.

“Alright. Now that we’re all here, let’s eat shall we?” Rhysand gives a small gesture towards the table and all the plates are filled with food. I don’t even bother to see what it is, I just need my hands to be doing something before I go crazy, so I begin to eat right away. Everyone else follows suit and it takes about 5 minutes before Feyre breaks the deafening silence. “Have you been enjoying the Night Court since your arrival?”

“I haven’t seen much of it, but what I have seen is beautiful.” I take a small sip of water.

“Oh that’s a pity! Nyx, why haven’t you taken Y/N out to see more?”

“We really haven’t had the time, Mom. We will soon though.” And the game of silence begins again. This time it’s broken by Nesta slamming down her silverware.

“So, Y/N. How is your father doing?”

“Nesta.” Rhysand warns.

“No, I want to know. Because he puts everyone through so much shit just so he can keep living the high life. So tell me, how is ‘Daddy Dearest’?”

I choke on my water slightly while I’m desperately trying to come up with an answer. “I’m not quite sure what you are referring to. My father is well respected in my Court.”

She scoffs. “He is, is he? You don’t even know what happened, do you? What he did to Mor?” Everyone is staring at me now and I have no idea how to respond. I’ve heard that my father and Mor were in a relationship when they were very young, but nothing more. I glance over at Nyx to try and catch his eye, but he’s looking down at his plate.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been told much of my father’s past.”

I feel a brush of something swimming up my leg, my side, then wrapping around my throat and I suddenly can’t breathe. Azriel stares at me with so much hatred in his eyes, I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner.

“All you Vanserra’s ever do is lie. You know exactly what your father did. Your father hurt Mor, left her for dead, you and your brother are the exact same as him, evil. Why did Nyx have a black eye the other day? Did you honestly think we wouldn’t find out?” Nesta stands up from her seat.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as my hands grab at my throat, desperate for air. My vision starts to get blurry and then Azriel releases his shadows. I gasp for air and quickly stand up. “Can you excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” I run off crying.

Splashing cold water on my face does absolutely nothing for me. I slowly sink to the floor to sob and sob and sob. No one comes to check on me. No one believes me. Not even Nyx. Why hasn’t he said anything? Done anything? He knows that I wasn’t the one who hurt him, yet he stays silent.

Gods. I feel like the world's biggest idiot. I thought Nyx and I were getting along. He promised nothing bad would happen. I should have known better.

I notice a rather large window that I can easily fit through. So that’s exactly what I do, and then I’m running. I have no idea where I am, but I know where I need to go. Home.

I’m passing through some sort of market and nearly run into someone. I take a second to catch my breath. “Excuse me, sir. Could you please tell me how to get to the Autumn Court?”

The male points me in the direction I need and then I’m off again.

“Y/N!” I stop. I’ve been running through this forest alone for over 3 hours, who is calling out for me? “Y/N! It’s me!”

My brother. He runs right up to me and pulls me in for a hug. “What the fuck are you doing?!!” And that’s all it takes for me to break down again.

“I can’t do it anymore! I don’t care what alliance this marriage brings to father. I can’t be married to him, I just can't!”

“Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Take a deep breath.” He rubs a comforting hand up my back. “I’ll take you back home, okay?” I feel a slight gust of wind and look up to see that I’m in the home I share with Nyx.

“No! Why did you bring me back here? I can’t stay here! I need to go home, back to Autumn!” I start to panic.

“You can’t go back to Autumn. Father will find out and everything will only get worse.” He lightly pushes me down so I sit on the couch and then brings me a glass of water. “I need you to stay here. I will be back to check on you, but you must stay here.”

“I will, thank you.” I’m too tired to argue. Now I’m alone, again. I know Nyx will come home eventually, but I can’t even think about that right now, I just need to go to sleep. I triple check that the doors are locked, then grab every knife from the kitchen and barricade myself in the bedroom.

I wake up to the sound of pounding on the bedroom door. “Y/N! Y/N I know that you’re in there. Please, just come out and talk to me.”

“Go away!” The banging stops and then he’s standing in front of me. “What the fuck? You can’t just winnow in here?” He kneels down on the floor as I sit up.

“Please. I just need to talk with you.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about. You left me there! You left me there while he was choking me! I trusted you! What happened to ‘we leave whenever I wanted’? What about your promise that nothing bad would happen? Was that a lie too?” I take a deep breath and continue.

“Was everything a lie? Everything you said? How you were sorry, that you wanted to start over and your feelings for me? Everything was a lie!”

“What? No! No, I didn't lie about any of that!”

“Then why didn’t you help me? You sat there and watched me get choked and then never bothered to check on me.”

“I wanted to! But they wouldn’t let me. The minute you left, uncle Az pinned me to the chair with his shadows. I couldn’t get to you.��

Is he lying to me right now? “From the second we walked into that house, you acted like I didn’t exist! Why?”

“Because I was scared.”

“Scared? What could you possibly be scared of?”

“I was scared that my family would find out.”

“FIND OUT WHAT?!?” If he doesn’t get to the fucking point-

“THAT I LOVE YOU!”

“You- you what?”

“I love you. I have for a while, but I thought that you hated me. I figured the only way to be with you was to have an arrangement made, so I asked my dad to-“

He looks at me with wide eyes, he's said too much.

“You asked your dad to do what?” I ask slowly, scared for his answer. He takes in a deep sigh.

“I asked him to ask your dad about arranging a marriage between us. He’s the only one who knows, not even your father. I- I’m sorry. I should have told you.” I take a step back, this can’t be happening. “Y/N, please. Let me explain.”

“No.”

“Please. I understand that I-“

“Nyx. I don’t want you to explain. Just give me an answer to my question. Just one.”

“Anything, I’ll tell you anything.” He’s begging now.

“Do you love me?”

“W-what?”

“Do you love me? Truly love me?”

“Yes! Yes, I love you!” He stands up and faces me. I can’t explain it, but I believe him. Maybe all that running I just did is messing with my head. Him asking his father to arrange our marriage is fucked up and I hate him for it, but I love him too.

“Then kiss me.”

He hesitates for a second and then slowly moves closer to me, giving me enough time to change my mind. Then finally, he places a hand under my chin, closes the distance and he softly places his lips on mine.

His lips are so soft, so gentle, like he’s afraid I’m going to break. My hands find their way to his hair as the kiss deepens. I trail my tongue across his bottom lip causing him to moan and move his hands to my hips.

We break for air and just stare at each other. Our foreheads pressed together, breath mixing between us, eyes searching the others. “I love you, too.” I realize I never said it out loud and based on his reaction, he wasn’t expecting me to. “I don’t want to start over. I just want to keep moving forward.”

“That sounds perfect.” He caresses my cheek with his thumb and gives my forehead a kiss. “Would you like to go to bed?” I nod as my response and he lets me go to pull back the covers. I get in first while he gets undressed.

There is so much we still have to work out. So many difficult conversations we have to have. But as I lay here with my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat, I can’t help but smile. I’m looking forward to those conversations. Looking forward to finding out as much as I can about Nyx. Regardless of what his family thinks of me or what mine thinks of him. We’re going to be happy, and to me, that’s all that matters.

[ghostofskywalker]

Hello I was wondering if I could request an echo x gn reader where either the bad batch and omega or the 501st(i can't choose) try to get them together only to find out that they are already together?

hello! i went with the 501st for this one, i hope you enjoy it!! it can be read as a continuation of my echo fic "stolen moments of peace and quiet," or it can be read as a standalone work.

words: 1,577

summary: After deciding that you're apparently meant to be, Fives and Jesse are dead set on getting you and Echo to confess your feelings for each other. There's just one little issue: you don't really need their help in the relationship department.

clone troopers masterlist

Unnecessary Matchmaking

When Jesse stepped into the lounge of the Resolute, he was met with a surprising sight. Usually the room was empty, or there were a few troopers lounging around between their duty shifts, but this time the sight was a little more interesting. You and Echo were curled up together on the couch, your head on Echo’s shoulder and both your breaths were steady and even. It was clear that you’d be in this position for a while, as the blanket you were sharing had fallen down to just rest on your laps and the two of you wore matching peaceful expressions on your faces.

Jesse tiptoed quietly around the room and grabbed a canteen of water from the chiller, careful not to let his footsteps make too much noise and wake either of you up. He couldn’t help but linger at the doorway and watch you for a moment more, because this was such a rare occasion for both you and Echo that he was glad you found the chance to take some time to yourselves. Life in the 501st could be crazy and chaotic, and everyone needed a good nap every once in a while.

As he closed the door to the lounge behind him, Fives appeared in the hallway. “Hey, did you know Echo is seeing someone?” Jesse asked. If anyone knew about the development in yours and Echo’s relationship, it would be Fives, as the two troopers were extremely close.

But much to Jesse’s surprise, his brother looked at him with an expression of complete and utter confusion. “No he’s not, what are you talking about?”

Jesse just pointed to the door of the lounge, and waited as Fives poked his head into the room and took in the sight of Echo cuddling with you on the couch. “I know what it looks like, but they’re not together,” Fives said. “He’s a little infatuated right now, but he hasn’t made a move or anything.”

“But-”

“I know, but he would have told me if he did something,” Fives said. “At this point it’s been months, I think the only way he’d act actually say something about it was if he was forced to.”

“Why?”

“He’s convinced that his feelings are not reciprocated.”

Jesse raised his eyebrows. “I’ve been in the medbay when the two of you come in with injuries, and the attraction between those two is obvious. If that’s not clear proof I don’t know what is.”

“That’s what I told him!” Fives said. “But he’s just not listening to me.”

“Okay, maybe we need to stage some kind of situation for them to admit how they feel to each other,” Jesse said, his mind already racing and coming up with different ideas to help his friends.

“After seeing that scene in there, I definitely agree,” Fives said. “Otherwise nothing will ever happen.”

***

After their little discovery, Jesse and Fives worked together to try and put you and Echo in situations where you would be close to each other.

First, they tried the good old fashioned trick to lock the two of you in a closet. Kix thought they were both being a little stupid, but agreed to hide your keys just to humor them (he would never admit it to his meddling brothers, but he thought you and Echo would be good together). What they didn’t count on was the fact that you had an extra set of keys in the pocket of your uniform at all times, because as a child you had a habit of locking yourself in places and not being able to get out. It also wasn’t ideal that the closets in the medbay locked from both the inside and the outside, so as long as you had a key you could get out. It had gone wrong from the beginning though, because Echo was called into a meeting with Rex almost immediately after they had locked the two of you in there, so there wasn’t even time for an awkward conversation about what you were doing there.

Next, Fives tried to talk to Echo, telling him a made up story where the moral was to always act on one’s feelings, but Echo took it the wrong way, thinking that Fives needed his help (or at least some reassurance) to go and ask out the mechanic that he was always talking about. Fives did in fact need a little reassurance, but that was not the point here. No matter how many times he tried to insinuate that Echo potentially could make some changes in his life, it was like the point went right over his brother’s head, and eventually it became obvious that this strategy to get him to confess was going to be absolutely useless.

Jesse even tried to talk to you, asking you what you were going to be doing during the 501st’s upcoming shore leave when Echo was in earshot, but you just shrugged and said you weren’t sure yet. He then tried to invite you to 79’s with the rest of boys (where he would make sure you and Echo ended up at the table by yourselves for a while), but you just shook your head and said that it was always a little loud in there for your taste, and that maybe you would try to do something else while you had some free time.

The worst part was that whole time they tried to get you to realize your feelings, you and Echo acted like you should be a couple already. Fives and Jesse found you and Echo asleep together in the lounge at least two more times, and apparently Kix had stumbled upon a similar scene at some point too. Whenever you woke up and had some time before your shift in the medbay, you always went to the ship’s lounge, and there was always a cup of caf waiting there for you (that Echo had made, but he always jokingly told Fives to go make his own caf when he asked if it was for him). The sheer sight of you two sitting together and sharing breakfast all the time was making Jesse a little crazy, and Fives was convinced that you weren’t together, because Echo would have told him if you were.

“I have no idea how we could get them to say something to each other,” Jesse said to Fives as they walked through the halls together after a meeting. “It seems they physically cannot understand that they’re in love with each other.”

“I know,” Fives responded. “I think at this point we may have to just sit by and watch them pine like idiots.” They were passing the lounge and decided to stop in for a cup of caf, but what they found when the doors opened was more interesting anyway.

You and Echo were kissing. Scratch that, what you were doing could only be described as making out, right in front of the caf machine, and neither of you had apparently heard the door open. Fives just stood there with a shocked expression on his face, and Jesse cleared his throat.

When you realized that you had company in the room, your eyes widened and you pulled away from Echo. You opened your mouth, likely to apologize, but Jesse cut you off. “Wait, you two are together?” You and Echo exchanged looks before nodding in sync. “How long has this been going on?”

Echo’s voice was quiet as he responded. “Six months.”

Jesse was going to say something, but Fives entered the conversation. “You’ve been seeing someone for six months and you didn’t tell me?”

That’s my fault,” you said. “I wanted to keep things on the down low for a while, and Echo says that you’re not the best at keeping secrets.”

Fives gaped, but he really couldn’t say anything in response (there was a reason no one told Fives who the general was married to). “Were you ever going to say anything?”

“Of course!” Echo responded. “Things just get busy when you’re fighting a war.”

Jesse nodded, that definitely couldn’t be understated. They had hopped across more planets and fought in more battles recently, and it only seemed that the Separatists were ramping up their offensives. “Wait,” he cut in, a realization dawning on him. “You sat by and watched us attempt to get you together, and you didn’t think to say ‘oh don’t worry you two, we’ve already got this under control?’”

You and Echo looked at each other before sharing a laugh and responding. “We were going to let you in on the secret soon,” Echo said. “But we also thought it was funny that you kept trying to set us up.”

“Plus, we thought it would be kind of obvious, given the amount of time we’ve fallen asleep on that couch,” you said with a smile.

Jesse and Fives just stood there, still trying to process the situation. “I hate you both,” Fives said, but everyone knew he was just joking around.

Echo just laughed. “Sorry vod. Next time I have big news, you’ll be the first person I tell, alright?”

“I’m holding you to that,” Fives responded. “Now just don’t make out again in front of me and I think we’ll be alright.”

Now it was your turn to laugh (because this was exactly what Echo said would happen if his batchmate found out). “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

- the end - 

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[nothoughtsonlytrance]

Hey guys! I usually don’t post something like this, but I thought I might as well anyway, in honor of the 5th anniversary of Dan’s coming out video.

So I mentioned in a previous post in an answer to @demonqueenart that I am pansexual. I’ve known this since around the time that Dan and Phil came out back in 2019. I was in community college at the time, and it was my first time in a public school setting. Before then, I had been to private schools throughout elementary, middle, and high school, and there wasn’t a lot of diversity in terms of how people expressed themselves due to the restrictions and dress codes that the schools enforced. So I never really had a way to express myself in terms of clothing styles and stuff like that. I thought I was straight when I was in high school, and I was already an ally because I had a few close friends or classmates who were LGBTQ, and I accepted them no matter what, (and I was taught growing up that we are called to show kindness and love to others no matter who they were) but it was kinda kept on the down low because it was considered taboo, especially since our highschool was a Christian high school.

When I finally entered community college in 2018, I was astounded by the diversity of people there and the way that people expressed themselves, whether it was by their clothing style, their gender identity, sexuality, etc. And I realized that some of the people who were there were really attractive. And it didn’t matter whether they identified as male, female, nonbinary, or whatever. I never did ask anyone out (cuz I’m a HUGE coward, lol), But I knew that it didn’t matter who the person I’d eventually date was as long as we had a connection, treated each other and others kindly, had a wonderful personality, and had things in common. Questioning my sexuality was one of the many shower thoughts I had lol

I remember scrolling through TikTok as well and seeing the countless ways that people expressed their identities, and it made me feel like I could be that way too. (Literally remember seeing a cosplayer’s version of Cat-ra from She-ra Princess of Power and blushing madly and thinking, “Wait, why am I blushing, why am I feeling this way?!”, haha)

I didn’t see Dan and Phil’s coming out videos until a little while later, but they touched my heart in so many ways when I did. Dan’s “Gay and Not Proud” video also helped me through my journey. So many quotes from the video spoke to me, especially the part when his spiritual subconscious told him,

“Depressed little emo Dan, it wasn’t his fault. Don’t hate him, don’t hate yourself…you have a lot to be proud of.”

Being proud of myself had kinda been a challenge, even to this day. Especially since there has been so much panphobia and harmful stereotypes surrounding pansexuality. Even when people mention different types of sexualities, rarely do they mention pansexuality, and it makes me wonder if I am valid too. I’ve been out to very few people, other than a few friends that I know will accept me, and I’m out to my sister and mother. Most of my extended family is LGBTQ accepting, but at the same time, I’m not sure when I should tell them, especially since I’m not really dating anyone at the moment and I’m kinda nervous about what questions they’ll ask if I do come out. I hope to eventually, tho.

I really do hope one day, I find the right person for me. I’ve never been asked out before, never had my first kiss, or even been on my first date. So no dating experience whatsoever, lol. It’s been really frustrating because so many of my friends and other people my age (early-mid 20s) have been going on dates, finding their soulmates, getting married etc. And it honestly makes me jealous because no one has ever said “I love you” to me in a romantic way. I truly do wish I find someone who loves me for who I am because I don’t want to die alone. I want to eventually start dating, but there’s of course always the risk of catfishing, and I don’t want my heart to be broken at the same time. So it’s been complicated, to say the least.

Well, that was a bit of a rant, but that's the end of it, haha. I hope this message finds you all well. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey, and there will always be people out there who care about you. And if you’re not able to come out just yet, just know that things will get better. I promise. Thank you so much for reading, and if you have any questions, feel free to leave an ask or reply!

I also (one last thing) wanna say a big THANK YOU to all the people who have liked and reblogged my Dan and Phil edits as well as my music. I’ve been getting better and better at using CapCut and GarageBand IOS (yes, I make the music and videos on my phone bc that’s all I can afford to work with, lol. Does it eat up my data? Yes. Do I care? No.), But each time I see that someone liked or reblogged one of my works, it makes me so happy and motivates me to keep going. So I really appreciate it!

More edits and posts will be coming soon, so stay tuned!

-Kristy, aka nothoughts_onlytrance