tw passive suicidal ideation
been thinking about this a lot, yea yea yea. I do know that I won't do it. but man, I wish I could just vanish without any hassle.
blaming those people who got me like this for sure. I hate them, they're the reason I hate myself. I wish I could change the past so that I could stand up to little me who has no one to trust. I hate how lonely I was and still am. I hate how Isolated I am. I hate how everyone who got me like this has a better life than I am. I hate how I can't move on from all this, I have literally nothing to distract myself from it. It's very clear how I don't matter to many people in my life and I don't get why I should keep going. it's getting really boring around here pff.
I want a good and healthy social life but fuck all those traumas that got me like this.
⭐I am useless⭐
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
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simon was the only one who could understand you. of course, he understood your interests and your distastes, but he was the only one who could understand you.
on days where you couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t shower, couldn’t live, simon was the one who understood. he’d lay in bed with you, bathe with you, even when he barely fit in the tub and would have to maneuver his legs in an uncomfortable position to fit the both of you.
when the world was against you, simon stood tall by your side.
when you didn’t have it in you anymore to keep on going, simon gave you a second chance.
he knew how you felt. how when things got bad again, nobody was there to pick you back up, to tell you things will be okay, to hug you. simon never had that for himself, so when he met you, a shattered reflection of himself, he provided you with what he didn’t have.
unconditional love. undying affection. admiration on days where you felt you didn’t deserve it. everything he didn’t get before you, he gave you twice as much.
simon glued back your broke pieces with the utmost care. and when you broke again, he’d do it all over.
simon loved you for you. he loved every fragment that cracked along the way. loved you on days where you didn’t love yourself, and loved you on days where you felt like you were on top of the world.
where most people saw an ugly flower, shriveling up into rotted petals, he saw the garden of eden blossoming right before his eyes. he watered every intricate flowers, providing you with warm rays of sunshine in order to assure you would grow.
he took his time with you. he remained patient, because love always is. after all, you can’t bloom a garden without the occasional parasite or weed, and simon would get on hands and knees, fingers in the dirt if it meant tending to you.
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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hurt (click for better quality)
ko-fi☕️ shop🎣 redbubble🪲
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💢💢💢
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what college does to a motherfucker 😭😭
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aaa games: we have some of the most CUTTING EDGE character customization options for you!! you can't make them fat tho, only cause we'd have to design more clothing models and adjust the animation for them and we just don't have the resources for that haha you understand right. that's totally the only reason we don't let you do that. anyways which of these 6 cocks would you like your character to have
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I can't see you. Do you see me? 👁️👁️
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downfall cuddles for anyone who needs them right now
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Barbie and Sasha
I have to say I really appreciate the Sasha character in Barbie. I see a lot of my middle school self in her.
I too was a girl who adored Barbie as a kid, but then I got older and got a first taste of What The Real World Is Like (inequality, sexism, etc.)
And then I rejected Barbie because I internalized all the misogynistic crap that had been projected on her and she became a symbol of All Shitty Things Women Are Expected To Be (brainless, useless, only exist to be pretty assistants to men).
Hence, I fell deep into a “not like other girls” phase because I desperately didn’t want anyone to think I was one of those girls (“”brainless bimbos who have no thought in their heads but boys””). I wanted to be taken seriously, and as someone who was already a bit tomboyish, I felt like I had to reject everything Barbie represented in my eyes.
But then I got older, and a tiny bit more nuanced, and realized Barbie being bubbly and pink wasn’t the problem: The problem was the assertion that anything considered “girly” can’t be smart, or useful, or anything but an empty shell.
Barbie is far from flawless and perfectly unproblematic, but the older I get the more I realize that she wasn’t the problem: It was the flawed people and world around her that were.
Anyway, Sasha does a great job illustrating that push and pull between what Barbie used to mean when you’re an innocent kid versus what she can become when you start to grow out of childhood and get your first taste of the real world and how deeply unfair it can be, especially to girls.
Anyway, Barbie is great go see it.
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People online: Hey if you don’t give your body a rest then your body will make you rest
Me: Haha maybe yours will but I’m built different
My body: *Makes me rest*
Me:
Me: Fuck
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