#around the 2:45 mark

[everythingdnddd]

This cow episode is KILLING me. I can’t even. xD xD

[in-hindsight]

I just realised. I spent like a minute of my maths test on Friday trying to confirm that 6.8 is, in fact, half of 13.6, when those are LITERALLY the pen sizes I use on EVERY page of my comic 😭😭😭 Ig the maths part of my brain is in a different area to the IbisPaint part of my brain

[sebnameyourcar]

wait would you u want to explain the context of multi 21?

MULTI-21: A HISTORY LESSON

MODERN ASSUMPTIONS:

it has been over a decade since the 2013 malaysian grand prix. as the years have gone on, people have forgotten, or smoothed out, the minutiae of it.

when people talk about multi-21 nowadays, it tends to fall under three headings:

• evil supervillain seb was addicted to winning and didn’t care about his team. selfish emotionless robot. got booed for a year and deserved it

• cunty brat seb was a disobedient child and refused to listen to his team and faced no consequences ever because he was red bulls special little boytoy

• poor mark webber was betrayed by his team as he had been for five years. the win was his and seb stole it

but of course, nothing is ever so simple

BACKGROUND

by 2013, sebastian and mark had been teammates for 5 years, and part of the extended red bull “family” for 7.

when they became teammates in 2009, mark was the older, more experienced head. seb was the young wunderkind who already had a race win under his belt, more than mark had.

(ironically, mark won his first race in germany in 2009. seb wouldn’t win his home GP until 2013. seb has since called mark’s 2009 german gp win as one of the most impressive drives he’s ever seen.)

anyway. let’s go back in time. it’s japan. it’s 2007. and it is raining. it’s lap 45, under the safety car after alonso crashed out. the rain is TORRENTIAL, and mark (red bull) is running in 2nd. he’s so sick that he’s vomiting in his helmet. seb (toro rosso baby. 20 years old) was 3rd. hamilton was leading, and braked quite dangerously. seb was caught out by this, and crashed into the back of mark. both of them had been running in the podium places, and both had to retire. mark called seb a kid without experience fucking it up. seb cried in his garage. this is the first time they crash. mark later referred to it as the first time they made love on track because he’s a freak

fast forward to turkey 2010. they are teammates now, and have been for over a year. fuji 2007 had largely been forgotten. water under the bridge. they are fighting for the championship against ferrari and mclaren. mark got pole, but around lap 40 seb had caught up to him as mark had to save fuel. they “merged towards each other” (generous). mark didn’t give seb enough space, seb was too over-eager. people will have different opinions. unless you’re helmut marko, who will always back seb, since seb is a product of the red bull academy whereas mark wasn’t. mark went on to finish on the podium, seb had to retire. seb was PISSED! (sexy). this is seen as the start of the “rivalry” by many.

britain 2010. aka the mark-webber-slams-water-on-desk moment. seb was given the new front wing from marks car for qualifying because he was a better qualifier because his had broken in fp3. he would ultimately get a puncture in the race, whilst webber with the old wing came first, and graced us with the “not bad for a no.2 driver” radio message.

so, where are we by summer 2010 and spring 2011? fuji was no one’s fault really, turkey was six of one half a dozen of the other, but mark felt the team favoured seb. britain made that feeling CONCRETE in marks mind. then seb won the title in 2010 after not leading until the final race of the season. in the press conference before abu dhabi 2010, seb kept getting asked if he’d let mark past it if would win mark the championship, and he kept evading the answer. see, mark had been ahead in the championship, but he qualified 7th while seb got pole and won. so, come 2011, webber was convinced the team favoured seb. however, seb was by far and away the better driver.

so. britain 2011. an underrated moment of the vettel webber rivalry. mark qualified on pole, with seb p2. seb quickly took the lead in the race. later on in the race after some botched pit stops and drama, mark was close to seb. red bull told mark NOT to pass seb.

mark ignored this team order. he tried to pass his teammate, but ultimately failed to do so. it’s often forgetting in vettel/webber rivalry lore that mark was the first of them to ignore a direct team order. the difference was he just wasn’t able to make the overtake. here are two interesting quotes from just after the race:

and now. brazil 2012. another forgotten multi-21 backstory. it was the last race of the season, and seb was fighting for his third straight championship, only alonso could possibly beat him. mark qualified 3rd, seb 4th, and alonso 8th. seb had a rocky start to the race, which resulted in him being hit from the back & spun around. he pulled off the mother of all recovery drives to win the championship. alls well that ends well right? wrong. horner admitted a few years ago that seb felt that mark was to blame for the rocky start by forcing seb into the wall. horner even went as far as to say that this lack of teamwork was directly in sebs mind when malaysia 2013 came around. that that was seb’s revenge.

conspiracy theorists will say that mark forced seb towards the wall because he wanted his mate alonso to win the championship over his teammate. definitely possible but not confirmed.

so. here we are. malaysia 2013. it’s been 5 years of crashes, ignored team orders (mark), favouritism (seb) and finally an almost championship-ruining shove towards a wall.

seb qualified on pole, mark 5th. but mark took the lead after the first round of pitstops. around lap 46, seb was gaining on mark, who was on old hard tyres. team orders came through for seb not to fight mark. multi 21 literally means that car no 2 should stay in position ahead of car no 1. just as mark ignored team orders in britain 2011, seb ignored them here. the only difference was seb actually got past. mark was furious (“yep that’s good teamwork!”) seb, a bad liar, was hilarious (“i was really scared… all of a sudden he was moving… i had to…”) horner was regretting most of his life choices (“this is silly seb come on.”)

seb won the race. the most awkward of all cool down rooms ensued (“multi 21 seb. yeah? multi 21”) seb chugged an entire bottle of water. poor lewis hamilton just trying to disappear into thin air. underrated moment is you can see a clip of seb trying to explain something to mark and neither of them are having a good time. on the podium interviews after mark said “seb will have protection from the team as always” - harkening back to his long-felt belief that the team favoured seb, yet ignoring his own history of ignoring team orders, and ignoring brazil 2012.

seb would later apologise.

…

three days later seb would rescind that apology.

(“i was racing i was faster i passed him i won.”)

at this stage, seb had been the dominant driver for four years running and some crowds had grown annoyed at him, so used this as an excuse to boo him at basically every race for the summer swing of the season. seb spoke at the end of 2013 about how hard this was for him, and how he was thankful for the support of his family and girlfriend during the hard times. it’s important to remember that seb was only in his mid 20s when all this booing and controversy was happening. it’s a lot to shoulder, especially when you’re only doing what you’ve always done, what you’re being paid to do: winning.

mark would retire at the end of the 2013 season, though apparently he had already made up his mind before malaysia.

seb would stay at red bull for one more year before moving to ferrari.

when asked in 2022, seb said he wouldn’t change what he did in malaysia 2013. and in my opinion, he’s right.

unlike the mclaren clusterfuck of hungary 24, there was YEARS of history between vettel and webber before multi-21. grudges, crashes, hurts, pride, friendship, rivalry, championships lost and won. this was the cumulation of their entire careers to date, all of their mistakes and their motivations for better or for worse.

basically, it was never so simple as “seb ignored team orders because he was an arrogant brat” or “poor mark the team never liked him” it’s… well it’s all of the above. cheers for reading. fuck me i went on a bit

[evie-sturns]

𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘥 - 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰

summary: when you and matt first started dating, you made a rule, that you two would never go to sleep mad at each other, but tonight a heated argument breaks that rule.

warnings: arguing, angst?, crying, swearing, fluff.

------------------⋆ ★⋆ ★⋆ ★⋆ ★⋆ ★--------------———

me and matt don't fight often, in our 4 months of being together we've only bickered, aside from the odd big argument. we always make up by the end of the day because of our rule. never fall asleep angry with each other.

9:48pm

"matt i promise, i didn't mean to." i sigh, i'm exhausted after our arguing, which has been going on for 45 minutes.

"you didn't mean to search my phone, im sure." he scoffs, grabbing his phone and checking the time.

"i fucking didn't matt, your phone was being spammed every 2 seconds so i picked it up, then you came in, its not my fault it looked different from how it actually was."

i say, my voice raising as i go to walk away, but matt grabs my wrist, yanking me back towards him. "so all the other apps that had been opened weren't you hm?"

he says glaring down at me, matt never loosens his painful grip, i don't think he even realises he's hurting me. his rings leave red marks on my arm.

"im going to sleep matthew." i say, my voice barely audible and wobbling.

matt's grip softens, allowing me to pull away.

i run upstairs, slamming the door to the bedroom behind me as i hold back my tears.

i rarely cry, matt's only seen me cry a handful of times meaning its a shock for him each time i do.

i strip down to just a tank top and panties before crawling into bed, shutting my eyes, hoping to sleep off the built-up frustration inside me.

just as i feel myself drifting to sleep the door swings open, followed by matt's angry stomps. he rips down the covers and plops himself in, before yanking them back up.

after a few minutes i roll over, matts back is facing me. i reach out a hand to grab his, he pushes me off. "dude don't fucking touch me?" matt says, somehow moving further away from me.

that'll do it.

i climb out of bed, grabbing my pillow as i walk over to the small basket in the corner of our room, filled with blankets from our previous movie nights. i pull up a blanket into my arms as tears fill my waterline. matt flicks on the lamp which rests on our bedside table, a warm yellow light fills the room.

"what the fuck are you doing this time." matt says, squinting his eyes.

i erupt into sobs, my face scrunching as tears soak my face. through my blurred vision, i can partially see concern and worry painted across matts face. i have a pillow under my arm, a blanket in my other and im clutching matts pug stuffed animal, which we share now.

i walk out of the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind me before sprinting downstairs, i place my pillow down on the small couch, and lay down, pulling the grey blanket over me and cuddling the pug to my chest, which shortly gets damp from my tears.

11:34pm

i dont know how long ive been asleep, or even where i am, but i'm woken up from matts arms around me, holding me in a bridal position. "matt..?" i say, looking up at him through my swollen eyes.

"i know gorgeous, theres no heating down here its too cold for you sweetheart." matt says, his voice soft and quiet.

my eyebrows furrow, did we even fight? or did i dream it? i look down at my wrist, which is red from where matt grabbed me earlier,

we fought.

matt carries me upstairs, his grip on me is so gentle i cant even comprehend how I'm being held up right now.

he opens our bedroom door with his elbow, the room is pristine, cleaner than I've ever seen it. "why is it so tidy in here.." i squeeze out, my voice raspy. matt clears his throat "oh-.. uh couldn't sleep so i cleaned.."

he pulls back the covers, readjusting the pillow with one hand before laying me down. "do you want me to come in the bed with you or are you happy by yourself.." matt says, his voice timid.

"you can come in.." i say, wide awake now and fully aware of everything thats happened in the past 3 hours.

matt lies down next to me, his body tense.

"im really sorry, i feel so guilty." matt says, tilting his head to look over at me. i nod, "it was my fault too." i say, fidgeting with my nails.

"no its not, i overreacted so much i don't even know what went over me, i regret it so much." matts voice shakes.

"i feel like shit for even touching you." matt says, "and i'm sorry for waking you up but i didnt want to break our rule.."

"huh?" i say, looking over at him, our eyes making eye contact.

"no going to bed angry with eachother.." he says with a small laugh.

i roll over to face him, a wide smile spread across my face. "oh matt.." i say, climbing ontop of him and laying down, burying my face on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around, underneath him.

he hugs me back with a sigh of relief, but somethings different,

"matt! where are your rings?" i say, sitting up on his torso and grabbing his hand.

"i couldn't even look at them without feeling guilty, i know they dug into your arm.."

------------------⋆ ★⋆ ★⋆ ★⋆ ★⋆ ★--------------———

i love this i was in such a writey mood

[airaibunny]

MISC SMUT PROMPTS

1. “no underwear? did you plan this?”

2. “are you just going to watch?”

3. “but the cameras” - “they can’t see us from this angle, if you can stay still”

4. “you’re such a needy girl”

5. “you just keep doing what you’re doing”

6. “you’re fucking soaked”

7. “you make me so wet”

8. “can i ask you for something?”

9. “please don’t think i’m weird for this…”

10. “does that turn you on?”

11. “i need your fingers”

12. “say/do it like you mean it”

13. “scream my name while you cum”

14. “call me mommy”

15. “touch yourself, i want to watch”

16. “on your knees”

17. “turn around”

18. “bend over”

19. “spread your legs”

20. “open wider”

21. “sit on my thigh/face/etc”

22. “lift your leg”

23. “i’m bored, let’s play”

24. “i can see you staring at my tits/thigh/ass”

25. “harder”

26. “it’s my turn now”

27. “i didn’t mean to call you that, i’m sorry” - “no! don’t apologize, i liked it…”

28. “spank me”

29. “choke me”

30. “bite me”

31. “you can practice on me”

32. “this is a one time thing”

33. “i thought you said it was a one time thing?”

34. “we can’t do this”

35. “i ordered us something”

36. “that looks too big”

37. “you bought a vibrator?”

38. “sit here”

39. “while standing?”

40. “give me your hand”

41. “i’m/it’s all over your chin”

42. “do you think about me when you touch yourself?”

43. “why are you being so shy? it’s not like i haven’t already seen all of you”

44. “you’re so spoiled”

45. “can we use a toy?”

46. “can i use a toy on you?”

47. “just like that”

48. “nobody can know about this, okay?”

49. “how are you so close already?”

50. “i can see how wet you are through your shorts”

51. “can you be quick?”

52. “please, i’ll finish fast”

53. “use your mouth”

54. “why do you get so shy when i use that word?”

55. “where do you want me to touch you?” - “down there…” - “you have to say the word”

56. “on the counter/table/etc?”

57. “have you seen the things the the fans write about you and *other member*?”

58. “pull my hair”

59. “open your mouth”

60. “you’re such a messy girl”

61. “take off your underwear” - “but, there’s other people here” - “they won’t see you, there’s an entire table here”

62. “open your eyes”

63. “look at me while you cum”

64. “do you want me to use my fingers/mouth?”

65. “do you want to join me?”

66. “how bad do you want it?”

67. “it’s too late for this” - “you don’t have to do anything, just stay laying down”

68. “can you stay quiet if i take this call?”

69. “we could get kicked out for this”

70. “don’t make me say it, you know what i want”

71. “you’re so annoying” - “would i still be annoying eating you out?”

72. “put your leg over my shoulder”

73. “there’s no one else here, be louder”

74. “i’m going to fuck you against the windows, i want everyone to see how good you are for me”

75. “stop being gentle”

76. “you can’t leave marks”

77. “we are not doing this standing, there’s a bed right there”

78. “do you like it when i spank you?”

79. “use my thigh”

80. “if you hate me so much, why are you letting me do this?”

81. “you’re really telling me to stop while both of your hands are in my shirt?”

82. “i still hate you”

83. “this is just sex, no strings”

84. “fuck you” - “well, that’s what we’re doing isn’t it?”

85. "you can take it like a good girl, right?"

86. “that was a nice way to wake up"

87. “why don't you make it up to me?"

[anonymousicecream]

Backstage Fun Pt. II (Wonyoung x M Reader)

It's been two months since you started hosting M Countdown. Today marks the first day that you won't be hosting with Rei, since she was ill. Therefore, your manager told you that she'll be replaced with one of her groupmates, but your manager didn't know which one until you meet her later.

You took your own car, driving off in a black Mercedes-Benz AMG GT R, heading from your condo to the MNET building. You arrived 20 minutes later, after some high-speed driving, which includes you almost getting chased by the police at 220 km/h. You parked your car at the underground basement before you met up with the manager at your changing room. You started your briefings for your daily schedules with your manager, before you met with the producer. The producer also invited your co-host for the day, who just entered the room.

(This outfit covered with a white coat outside)

"Morning sunbaenim!" Your co-host, Jang Wonyoung from IVE, greeted. You replied her greetings and shake hands with her, inviting her to sit down. The two of you, along with your managers and producers eventually went to discuss about the filming, what to do and not to do, as well as the lines you two need to memorize. It took around 45 minutes before the meeting ended. "So, I'll leave the two of you to get to know each other and practice. The MUA's will be here in 2 hours." Your manager told you and Wonyoung, as they left the two of you inside the room, closing the door.

You gave her a sandwich, which she immediately took and ate without hesitation, which made it clear that she was STARVING. As she ate the sandwich, you noticed that she's starting to sweat. "Are you feeling hot? Should I cool the AC more?" You asked her, trying to help her. "Oh no, it's okay oppa, I'll just take off my coat if you don't mind." She told you, and you permitted her to. As she took off your coat, your once settled and calm demeanor changed into a more nervous, and adventurous one. You saw what Wonyoung hid under her coat, her slim but curvy body, her tight petite ass, as well as her growing tits. She threw her coat to the side, before resuming her meal. You wanted to follow her and also resume your meal, but you couldn't, since you got hard seeing her exposed body.

After she finished eating, she noticed your lustful stare on her body, and smirked. She then put the plate down before walking towards you who sat on the couch. She then hopped onto your laps, her thighs next to your legs, spreading her body wide open. "Horny, aren't we?" Wonyoung teased. "You fucking bunny, you slutty bunny." You whispered, as you leaned in to kiss her. She replied to the kiss, as the two of you started making out.

It took a while before you two had to pull back after getting out of breath. You then took your clothes off, throwing it to the side before you reached down onto her shorts, unbuttoning them. You removed her pants, exposing you to her white panties. You then grabbed her by her thighs, lifting her up, putting her pussy on your face as you leaned back on the sofa. You started eating her out, earning a moan from her. "Ahhhhh" She moans as she tries to grasp on something to balance herself.

You continued eating her out, sucking her pussy from top to bottom before you reached upwards onto her clothed tits, fondling through her tanktop before you took her clothes off as you ate her out, unveiling her white lace bra. You moved your hands onto her clit, rubbing it intensely as you feel her clench hard before she cums -- HARD--.

"NNNNGGGGHHHHH" She moans as she came, biting her clothes, to prevent others from hearing it. She continues squirting onto your face as you lap her pussy, swallowing her cum up.

After she finished cumming, you lowered her back onto your thighs before she lowered your boxers, spitting onto her hand before she starts stroking your cock. "Mmmmhhhh" You groaned, feeling her soft hands on your cock as she strokes it faster. Not long after, you reached behind her, unhooking her bra before throwing it away and leaned into her tits, sucking and cupping them. This triggered her to stroke you faster, and you felt that you were getting close, so you stopped her. "What?" She asks you. "Do you have protection?" You asked her. "No need, I'm safe. Just pull out if you don't trust me." She told you, stroking your cock again, before raising herself and lowering herself onto your dick, groaning at your size, before she starts riding you.

"Faster baby" You told her, and she nodded, riding your cock faster, holding your shoulders tight, balancing herself. You moved your hands onto her hips, helping her ride you, before you helped her bottom out. "AHHHHH THAT'S SO DEEP" She moans, before you started help her grind on your cock, moving back and forth with your cock inside her, allowing you to hit her g-spot countless times. "FUCKKK THAT'S WHAT I WANT. AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!" She continues moaning before she clenched one last time, squirming, as she came -- HARD -- on your dick. You thrusted into her a few more times, while also rubbing her clit intensely, prolonging her orgasm. You helped lift her up and out of your cock, and she squirted a few more times onto the couch and the floor, before she came down from her high. You caressed her back, allowing her to calm down again.

After she calmed down, you then flipped her onto the couch, earning a giggle from her as thrust into her again, fucking her in missionary position. You leaned down to her neck, leaving small kisses and hickeys on her neck. "Careful, don't wanna make them hard to cover" She warned you, as you thrusted faster into her. You thrusted into her at different angles, making sure you hit all the right spots while also finding her g-spot. It didn't take long before you hit her g-spot again, and she groaned loudly, wrapping her legs around your hips and arms around your neck.

You changed your thrusts into a slower but harder thrust, hitting her g-spot as hard as possible, and the effects were clear. She starts moaning more, as well as scratching your back. "I'm close." You told her, groaning. "Me too, just cum inside me." She said, moaning after each word, and you nodded. You thrusted a few more times into her before pulling out, leaving your tip at the edge and thrusting deep, one last time, as you cum into her womb.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckk." You groaned into her ears, as you came inside her. She also groaned, enjoying the feeling of getting filled as she also came not long after you, cumming on your dick, as she moans louder than before.

[afeelgoodblog]

Best News of Last Week - July 3, 2023

🐕 - This dog is 'disc'-overing hidden treasures! Get ready for the 'paws'-itively successful fundraiser, Daisy's Discs!

1. Most unionized US rail workers now have new sick leave

More than 60% of U.S. unionized railroad workers at major railroads are now covered by new sick leave agreements, a trade group said Monday.

Last year railroads came under fire for not agreeing to paid sick leave during labor negotiations.

2. Missing teen found after being lost in the wilderness for 50 hours

Esther Wang, 16, had been hiking with three other people through the Maple Ridge park on Tuesday.

The group made it to Steve’s lookout around 2:45 p.m. that day.However, when they headed back down to the campsite, after about 15 minutes of hiking, the group leader realized Wang was missing. They returned to the lookout to look for Wang but couldn’t find her. The leader headed to the trail entrance to notify a park ranger and police.

“Esther Wang has been located. She’s healthy, she is happy and she’s with family.”

3. A dog has retrieved 155 discs from woods. They’ll be on sale soon, with proceeds going to the park in West Virginia where they were found

Meet Daisy, the yellow Labrador retriever with a unique talent for finding lost Frisbee golf discs at Grand Vue Park in West Virginia. Four years ago, while on a walk with her owner Kelly Mason, Daisy discovered a disc in the woods and proudly brought it back. Since then, Daisy's obsession with finding stray discs has grown, and she has collected an impressive cache of 155 discs.

Mason and park officials have now come up with a plan to return the discs to their owners if they are labeled, and any unclaimed discs will be sold as a fundraiser to support the park's disc golf courses. Daisy's Discs is expected to be a success, with many excited about the possibility of recovering their lost discs thanks to Daisy's remarkable skills.

4. Australian earless dragon last seen in 1969 rediscovered in secret location

A tiny earless dragon feared to be extinct in the wild has been sighted for the first time in more than 50 years – at a location that is being kept secret to help preservation efforts.

The Victorian grassland earless dragon, Tympanocryptis pinguicolla, has now been rediscovered in the state, according to a joint statement issued by the Victorian and federal Labor governments on Sunday.

5. Detroit is going to power 100% of its municipal buildings with solar

All of Detroit’s municipal buildings are going to be powered by neighborhood solar as part of the city’s efforts to combat climate change – check out the city’s cool grassroots plan. Meet Detroit Rock Solar City.

The city has determined that it’s going to need around 250 acres of solar panels in order to achieve 100% solar power for its municipal buildings.

6. Canada Officially Bans Cosmetic Testing on Animals

The fight for cruelty-free beauty in Canada has seen a significant breakthrough as the Canadian government legislates a full ban on cosmetic animal testing and trade, marking a victory for Animal rights advocates and eco-conscious consumers.

This landmark decision is part of the Budget Implementation Act (Bill C-47), not only prohibiting cosmetic animal testing but also putting an end to the sale of cosmetics that use new animal testing data for safety substantiation.

7. Belize certified malaria-free by WHO

The World Health Organization (WHO) has certified Belize as malaria-free, following the country’s over 70 years of continued efforts to stamp out the disease.

“WHO congratulates the people and government of Belize and their network of global and local partners for this achievement”, said Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General. “Belize is another example of how, with the right tools and the right approach, we can dream of a malaria-free future.”

----

That's it for this week :)

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[jamieontheroof]

Random things I noticed while playing What Remains Of Edith Finch

There was a poster of the cannery that Lewis worked at on the boat.

2. Edith Jr wears what appears to be an engagement on a necklace. Whether this is her ring or her mothers is not mentioned.

3. At the start of the game, Milton's missing posters are EVERYWHERE. There is even a giant pile of them in a nearby lake.

4. The dragon slide that crushed and killed Sven is still outside.

5. As you walk toward the house, the music gets louder.

6. The swing that Calvin flew off decades ago is still looped around the branch.

7. There was a spare peep hole in the garage that didn't have any names or dates on it.

8. At multiple points throughout the game you can hear a train in the background, despite the fact that the train tracks are clearly destroyed.

9. There are multiple pots throughout the Finch house that looks like they have eyes.

10. One of the books the Finches possessed was 'King in Yellow', a book known for making anyone who read it insane.

11. The house sounds alive, or like there are people constantly moving around it.

12. Walters bedroom is painted with both ocean and train designs. One of the paintings is the old house that Odin tried to bring to America.

13. There are drag marks on the ground of Walters bedroom (most likely made when his drawers were taken out of his room.)

14. The entrance to the tunnels is hidden by a book called 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, a classic sci-fi story about a sea monster.

15. Molly's room is filled entirely with animal books.

16. There is a jelly fish on Molly's bed (possible connection to the monster??).

17. Molly has a chalkboard in her bedroom where she is a princess in an underwater castle and Sven is about to get attacked by a sea monster (slightly resembling the dragon slide).

18. As shark!Molly starts falling down the cliff, she passes a road where headlights are briefly scene.

19. When the monster gets back to Molly's room, the window that cat!Molly jumped through is still open.

20. There are still Christmas decorations in Molly's room.

21. The curse is 500 years old. That is a lot of dead people.

22. In Odin's viewfinder, it states "His [Odin's] daughter, Edie, is already dreaming of new Finch house" showing that even though her own father died not even a week ago, Edie has already moved on.

23. The house is filled head to toe with books about death, including two that Odin wrote.

24. Sven's shrine does not have a log painting like the rest of the family. His portrait is painted on a simple canvas.

25. Edie has a number of strange tapes in her room including one titled "conspiracy now".

26. The toys from Gregory's final bath are still in the bathroom.

27. There is an old bottle of alcohol in the bathroom bin.

28. A lot of Sam's photos are based on Calvin (a swing, astronauts).

29. All of Milton's drawings are based on the death. (Molly = cat, Barbara = pumpkin)

30. There are cigarettes and gin on Sam's side of the room he shared with Calvin.

31. Calvin already had bruises, Band-Aids and a cast on his leg when he died.

32. Sam blames himself for challenging Calvin.

33. In the story, Calvin doesn't fall. He keeps flying.

34. Barbara's birthday cake is still in her room.

35. Barbara is holding crutches in her portrait.

36. There are totem-esc styles statues of both Calvin and Molly

37. Barbara's outfit is over the railing.

This is the same way the Hook-Man falls

38. "Performance of her life" can also mean that it is the performance she is known for.

39. There are spare portrait logs in the basement.

40. There is a fake window in the basement.

41. Edie's grave is finished despite her dying and then nobody else going to the house.

42. There is no grave for Milton.

43. Lewis' grave has a crown on it.

44. There are times wear it seems like you can hear sobbing (this one may just be me).

45. There is a box of Kay's old stuff in Sam's bedroom.

46. Odin has a park named after him.

47. This isn't a fact but I think this may be one of the funniest photos of the game (LIKE SIR? YOUR DAUGHTER IS SOBBING!).

48. Both Calvin and Dawn are on Sam's shrine.

49. Gus has a skateboard over his name.

50. Gregory has the soap bottle from his final bath in his shrine.

51. The music cuts out when Gregory isn't moving.

52. Same also blames himself for Gregory.

53. Gus never met his step mother.

54. Gus was crushed by the (totem) statues of his deceased relatives.

55. Dawn's light switch is the only one on

56. Most of the rules are about past deaths. (No playing outside without permission : Calvin, No answering door for strangers : Barbara, No messes after dark : Molly (???)).

57. Milton's garden has a castle (reference to the Unfinished Swan)

58. There is a small Sanjay shrine in the classroom

59. Edith JR did an assignment on her family history.

60. Lewis drew on his desk.

61. There is no death date for Milton on his peephole.

62. Edith JR wrote Milton's death date as 2003 (the year he disappeared).

63. The door from the flip book is in Milton's room.

64. Lewis' dream Palace is decorated with fish.

65. The gnomes scattered around the house are outside the original house in Edie's story.

66. The credits roll in reverse order.

AND THAT'S IT!! I had a few others I thought didn't need to go in.

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony’s Childhood. Part 1: Identifying facts

In the MCU, Tony sometimes acts like a kid. There is a reason behind every behavior, so I wondered what it was like for him when he was a real kid.

So, the questions of the day: what do we know about Tony's childhood? Did he have one? And, most importantly, how did it affect him?

Let’s first list what we know from the movies:

At age 4 Tony built his first circuit board (IM1)

At age 6 built his first engine (IM1)

Was sent to a boarding school by Howard (IM2)

Cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare (AoU)

Had a nanny until the age of 14 (IM3)

Went to college at 14 (IM1)

Built Dum-E and U when he was there (IM1)

At 17 graduated summa cum laude from MIT (IM1)

Continued his education until his parents’ death (CW)

Tony’s genius gave him two things: the brain and the pain. And by the pain, I mean that instead of interacting and bonding with his parents, enjoying life, playing, having fun, making friends, taking care of pets, and all the other things children do to gradually prepare for adulthood and grow up "healthy", he got this list of achievements. That doesn’t make a person normal.

Parents

We know his relationship with Howard was complicated. Howard loved him in his own way. He had too many things to do to be a good father: SI, S.H.I.E.L.D., scientific projects, trying to build a better future with clean energy, etc. All good, except when you want your child to love you back. Especially if in the tiny amount of time you spend with him, you don’t show him any signs of affection.

What do we know about Maria? Her name, what she looked like, that she played the piano, and died at Winter Soldier’s hand on Dec 16, 1991. That’s it. She didn’t spend much time with Tony either. Remember, he even had a nanny, instead of a mother. Tony's words about her showed that he loved her, but he didn't talk much about her. Because she wasn’t present in his life enough. Why? Because…

School

Howard sent Tony to a boarding school.

Here’s in the S.H.I.E.L.D.s file we have this information about the school:

“Phillips Academy, Andover, MA 1977-1984”

This means he was there from age 7 to 14. Howard sent him to a boarding school when he was SEVEN.

Phillips Academy Andover serves grades 9-12 only (it is a college preparatory school). Thus, either this is a mistake by the creators of the film/file, or Tony, due to his genius, became an exception. Since the early age he was already at school was also mentioned in IM2 tie-in comics, and in Earth-616 that was also 7, we can mark 1977-1984 as valid.

Think about it again: Tony was sent to boarding school in another state when he was 7 years old. He spent another 7 years there, alone, among high school-aged teenagers. No parents around, no peers.

For example, even Hogwarts accepts 11-year-old children, and they live with their peers. Now imagine Harry Potter, at the age of 7, is thrown into a dorm with 7th-year students and locked there. Doesn’t make a person normal either, does it?

Nannies and Jarvis

Since Tony was at the boarding school, there are two options for how he could have a nanny (mentioned in IM3) and spend time with Edwin Jarvis:

1) He was at the boarding school with a nanny. There is almost no possibility that the nanny was Edwin Jarvis because Jarvis was Howard’s butler and had other responsibilities.

2) He had a nanny at home in the summer and during short school breaks. In this case, his parents couldn’t even give him this little of their precious time.

In any case, he could only see Jarvis at home, a few months a year at most.

Note: There is a date error in IM3, stating Tony was 14 in 1983. This is clearly an error and we can omit this detail.

Bullying

Remember this dialog between Tony and Harley in IM3?

0:45:15 – Harley asks him how he knew he was being bullied at school. Tony doesn't answer. He gives him a non-lethal flash thing to "discourage bullying."

We see that Tony knew exactly what was going on with Harley at school. Because that’s exactly what happened to him there. Harley reminded him of himself. Brilliant kid with no friends and practically no parents. He was bullied by 9th-12th graders.

If he had a nanny with him at the school, that probably made things even worse. He would be bullied because he has a nanny, and despite he has one to look after him.

In Part 2 we will discuss how all this affected him. Stay tuned.

[projectcaramel]

Obey Me! Random Headcanon #8

The Brothers' Screentime

Lucifer

Average: 2 hours per day

Mostly for emails and texts; other work is usually on paper.

Occasionally spikes into 5 or 6 hours for R.A.D. projects or business trips.

Mammon

Average: 6 hours per day

We know he's probably gambling and playing mobile games (*coughs in the emoji game*), but he also spends a fair amount of time gambling in person when he's frustrated.

Spends up to 14 hours straight if he's waiting for a reply from MC.

Leviathan

Average: 19 hours per day

Obviously a gamer, anime watcher, otaku. You can't get a better candidate for ridiculous screentime.

Cuts down on electronic use when going to cons or when his family demands that he does.

Satan

Average: 4 hours per day

For reading, why else? I kid; he's obviously binging funny cat videos in between reading novels and textbooks.

Can spend more than 36 hours straight reading if he finds a series he can't put down.

Asmodeus

Average: 8 hours per day

For pure socials. He spends 8 hours per day updating his pictures and chattering with fans. Of course, this also supports his modeling gig.

Caps his screentime at 9 hours, since he usually hits the 8 hour mark around his bedtime. The last hour is exclusively reserved for MC.

Beelzebub

Average: 45 minutes per day

Mostly to text his brothers, but there are the occasional sports matches and food prep videos mixed in there.

Sometimes leaves his phone on while looking at recipes. He already knows how to make the food, so the phone just stays on without him looking at it.

Belphegor

Average: 20 minutes per day

Like his twin, mainly uses it to text his brothers. Unlike his twin, however, Belphie has spikes of activity rather than a constant stream.

His average shoots up to 2 hours if MC texts him first.

-- Caramel: Friendly reminder not to do what Levi does and get some sleep. It's good for you. --

[thineferalrats]

NSFW alphabet///Vander

Warnings: nsfw content (MDNI 🔞)

I havnt spell checked this yet.

____________________________________________

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He is DEFINITELY a aftercare guy, making sure your taken care, he’s a busy man so the aftercare sometimes is not as long as he would want it to be sometimes but he douse what he can, even if it’s just words of affirmation or a-lot of kisses and hugs after a quicky (if tho they don’t happen often cuz he really douse not care for them) but when he douse have time he WILL cuddle you all night and kiss you, and tell you how amazing it was, and remind you how gorgeous you are. Definitely keep the praise up even after everything is done.

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself I think we can all agree his arms, or his hair, I feel he’s very proud of his hair being nice and full for his age ya know.

Now ok his partner, no one can tell me he is not a tittie guy, size is not really the thing but he definitely would not mind barring his head in some nice big tits (who wouldn’t) or maybe even a thigh kinda guy, but I also feel like his like non sexual favorite part would be your face, or more specifically your smile seeing you laugh or smile is one of the best sights on earth in his opinion

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  

Creampies. All that needs to be said. I feel like in the beginning of y’all’s relationship he would use a condom but once he’s comfort with you, your gonna need some birth control or be ready for kiddo number 5, but if birth control is not a option he would understand and use protection or pull out. Also hear me out I feel like he Definitely gets off when you give him head and shallow it ya know.

D: Dirty Secret

Definitely thought about either 1. Fucking you as hard as humanly possible In an ally way, (especially when you tease him when walking home) or 2. Bending you over the bar and pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow, with or without people but these are just fantasy’s he probably won’t act on since he don’t wanna get caught in a ally by someone he knows or worse the kids and the bar one would just get him in trouble but then again tease him enough and the first one might just seem just reasonable enough

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he definitely knows what he’s doing, he’s been alive for 45 years so he’s definitely picked up a thing or two from his very eventful youth, he definitely knows how to eat you out to the point your nails are engraving scratch marks on the wooden beside table, now he douse not really know much about the well kinkyer side of thing but knows the basics and some other small things and is good at it definitely

F: Favorite Position

Now he’s not a complete vanilla person but this man loves some good old missionary lets me honest, he likes being able to see your face and have access to your clit to. But I also feel like he enjoys Cowgirl to so we can see all the expressions you make. I feel like he wouldn’t mind doggystyle either tbh, on your side to when y’all wake up or something to.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

If something funny happens like you falling off the bed he’s gonna laugh but also ask if your ok why laughing, he’s a very humorous dude ya know

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Man douse his best but he douse not get much time to shave with 4 kids running around causing mayhem everywhere they go. I feel like to be honest he really don’t care to shave unless it gets bad. Now if it bothered you or something he definitely do his best to shave as often as he had time to

I: Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s a really intimate guy, loves telling you how gorgeous you are but also don’t get me wrong the second you where to ask him “faster or harder” he would go FERAL cuz I feel like he definitely holds back because he douse not wanna hurt you or anything but he douse enjoy a nice and easy intimate time with you. I feel like he secretly has no patience, but he has grown to have some because of the kids and stuff.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He most definitely used to, but I feel like now he douse it like non to very little, mainly cuz of the kids but when you came into his life he felt no need to. Cuz he’d rather have you then his own hand, the only way I could see this man doing it is if he’s had a really long day and your asleep when he comes to bed and he needs to blow off some steam or something.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)  

I think everyone has agreed this man has a breeding kink which as you see now explains why I said what I did before hand about the creampies. Bro has a bondage kink, (both ways), definitely douse not mind putting his hand around your neck but he would really wanna squeeze or anything cuz he douse not wanna hurt you in any way. Anyway No one can argue with these, Size kink and overstimulation (both ways) and marking for sure but would help you hide the marks if you wanted to

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom. Other places are to Risky for his liking, he douse not want the kids walking in on anything, now it’s not his favorite but if it called for it and he couldn’t make it to the bedroom and yall having sexual tension up to the sky and the bar is closed and the kids are asleep, The bar but the doors are being locked and clothes won’t come completely off.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Let’s be honest here man has a high sex drive but don’t ever admit it, cuz really all it takes is you giving him a decent view or sneaky kisses, or even just whispering something in his ear, but he has the some insane willpower and will wait till y’all are alone, I also feel like being confidant would get him going like you helping him behind the bar and when no one’s paying attention whisper how badly you want him and then walk away or act like you’ve said nothing.

A good way tho to get railed into the mattress is small teasing all through the day running your hands in his hair that or a very sneak brush against his crotch, like moving by him and pressing your ass into him or something, but making it seem innocent but he’s knows it was on purpose cuz he’s smart he’ll figure it out,

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything like really kinky or rough like slapping punching and he’s definitely against knife play won’t go near it, I mean he don’t mind being rough with you when railing you, but anything thst would hurt you just no

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He really enjoys eating you out let’s be honest tho, he loves sees your head go back and your back arch off the bed (or bar) when your about to finish, he loves when your thighs squeeze around his face to be honest

But with that I wanna say he definitely loves when you give him head let’s be honest, as I said before this ties in, but like he definitely likes it, being able to grab your hair and mouth fuck you is chefs kiss for him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I feel like at first he would be gental but the longer y’all are doing it the faster that man is getting intell he reaches absolute feral, definitely would have to bite something or have your mouth covered near the end

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not a fan, he’s a very romantic and he really can’t be romantic or anything with quickies, he would much rather take his time with you, but if you have been teasing him all day and he knows he’s not gonna get the time in a good minute to fuck you into the mattress, he’ll settle for a quickie in the storage room with the door locked

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not really a risky person because again he douse not want the kids walking in on anything. Now before the kids he was a very risky and an experimental person. But has calmed down ALOT now that the kids are in his life and you. I feel like he’s still a little experimental, he’s willing to try anything with in reason that you wanna try

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

He has ALOT of stamina, u can’t tell me don’t, bro was a one man army. He can definitely go 3-4 rounds or 5 if the rounds are not long, but he definitely prefers to draw them out for awhile, he will make you finish more then he douse, like bro will finish idk 3 or 4 times in the end and you’ll finish like 5 times now this is if y’all have the time, this is another reason he’s not a fan of quickies, now In his younger years I feel like he definitely hade quickies and maybe even some one night stands.

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I feel like he’s not a big fan of them cuz he feels if a toy can do it so can he, but if there was a toy you wanted to use or try he wouldn’t be against it as long as it’s not to extreme, I feel like he definitely wouldn’t mind vibrators tho, using a small one on your clit why fucking you, he could approve of because really the better you feel the better he feels (he’s such a service top),

now toys for him I feel like he’s not a big fan of cuz for him your enough and he has no interest or need for them.

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

I feel like he definitely will tease you, whisper in your ear or give you a sneaky kiss the on the neck or slap on the ass. He definitely douse not mind you teasing him back just as long as it’s not obvious and you do it sneakily, definitely if there’s no one around he will reach put his hands up your shirt or down your pants but only for a second and then go back to whatever he was doing.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he’s not a extremely vocal during it but that’s just because of this kids I feel like if your alone and no one’s in the house he’d definitely make some decent noise, I feel like he mainly just likes hearing you noises you make, definitely would encourage your noises if your home alone but if there’s kids home he’d cover your mouth or give you something to bite (even if it’s himself)

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He definitely would not mind being a bottom and letting you be in control sometimes as long as you know what your doing and you feel good, since he’s always been the one in charge of everything I feel like he’d enjoy a break from it and letting someone boss him around a bit would be a good break for him, definitely feel like he would blush and crumble if you called him a good boy and praised him. Plus this ties in with him liking cowgirl definitely.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)  

Just DAM, bro is a big man so he definitely is at least packing a good 9 inch’s (or more) feel like girth is just a 10/10 to lets be honest.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

As I said before man has a higher sex drive then he would probably like, one look from you and he’d wanna go feral. I feel like if he had a partner that was the same way there would be a decent amount of sexy time

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

He’s a dad what do ya think, he can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, he’d make sure your ok and comfortable first tho before even thinking about falling asleep, and would cuddle you. He’d be very easy to wake up tho if you needed something tho, but i definitely feel like it depends on how tired he is before yall even did anything.

————————————————————————

A/n- JESUS this took longer then i expected I would have made them longer if i had the time and I might add on to them later on.

Hope yall liked itttttt 💕💕💕💕



[wjhik]

Hellooo <3

can I request a dad!Jude fic where him and the reader invite his family over for dinner but your son is just restless , the kids don't stop screaming and hitting everybody looking for attention, trying to throw plates on the floor even Mark Jobe's games that usually keeps him busy don't work anymore.

-also the reader is like heavily pregnant with her second child so she can't do much to help

I WANNA SEE SOME STRICT DAD JUDE

thank you😻

Attention (Jude Bellingham)

A/N: daddy jude in this 😜 (literally. he is a father.)

Y/N’s POV: 

“Noah, please put that down.” I tell my very rowdy 5 year old who is insisting on playing with our crystal bowl. I smell something burning and quickly leave the pot on the stove to open the oven. My meatloaf is slightly burned on the top, but I can just cut it off. I grab my oven mitts and take the dish out of the oven. I place it on the stove top and look up after hearing a crash followed by crying. “I didn’t do anything!” Noah says, throwing his hands up. I see his twin sister on the floor, crying. I walk over to her and crouch down. “What happened, Nora?” I ask her. “Noah pushed me!” She screams in between sniffles, pointing at her brother. “I did not! She tripped over the couch! I didn’t do anything!” Noah screams, defending himself. “Stop yelling. Mama’s very tired.” I say, shushing them both. I finally got myself situated after a fit of nausea came over me. I’m just about to be 8 months pregnant. Jude and I never expected to have a baby so young, let alone twins. We decided to get married two years ago, and eventually we wanted another baby. We knew having another baby would be hard, but I never thought it would be this hard. Jude not being around as much is only adding to how hard it is.

Jude’s parents have decided to pay us a visit, so I’m attempting to prepare dinner. “Noah, please. I’m not blaming you. It’s okay, just stop screaming.” After Nora blamed him for pushing her, he fell into hysterics, trying to prove that he’s not to blame. He’s been screaming how it’s not his fault for what feels like hours. Nora has already got up and started playing again after some ice was put on her hurt knee. I grab Noah and pull him into my chest to give him a hug. I assure him that I’m not angry and that it’s not his fault. Just as he starts to calm down, I hear Nora fall once more. She was always the clumsy one.

I finally got dinner ready, and I’ve started on dessert. Nora has decided to help me bake a carrot cake while her brother watches some cartoons in the living room. (its one of those american style kitchens that look into the living room with an island and shit. My dream kitchen. Were not leaving a 5 year old unattended) “Okay, now we put 3 eggs.” I turn around to where Nora should be sitting peacefully. “Oh my god.” I say, covering my face. There she sits, covered in flour. I stutter some sounds of frustration before she says that she’ll go so in the living room with her brother to watch with him. “NO! No, don’t do that.” I say, grabbing her. “Just sit her for 5 minutes, honey.” I tell her, handing her my phone to play games on. 

I wipe my hands on my apron after closing the oven door and putting a 45 minute timer for my cake. I lift Nora off the kitchen counter and place her on the floor. I take my phone out of her hand. “Bath time!” I say to the twins. “No!!” Nora yells, her game being interrupted. I hear some grunts of disapproval from her brother. “Please? I have one bath bomb for you guys.” I attempt to compromise with them. They love the way the colors fill the bathtub. They immediately race up the stairs to the bathroom, knowing there’s only one available. In reality, I had 2, but the second one was very fancy and expensive and I was saving it for some moment Jude and I get some time alone. 

I walk into the bathroom to see the twins fighting over who get to use the bath bomb. I remove their clothes as they continue to bicker. I wrap them in their hooded towels and have them sit on the edge of the tub as it fills up with warm water. Once it’s filled, I take off their towels and put them both in the tub together. They eventually stop fighting and start playfully splashing each other with water. I giggle, happy to see them not trying to rip each other’s vocal chords out. I open the drawer under the sink and unwrap the bath bomb from its plastic. “Mama, I want to put it in!” Noah yells! “No! I want to!” Nora replies. I keep quiet, in an attempt to stay calm. They start splashing each other and end up wetting me in the process. They shut their mouths and look at me, covered in bath water. “I’m putting it in!” I say putting a stop to their argument. I drop it into the tub. The kids are in awe of the colors and glitter floating around in the water. 

Once they finally exited the tub, I got them both dressed. I took them downstairs and turned on the T.V. just in time to take out my cake from the oven. I leave it on the stove for it to cool down when I hear jingling at the door. I look up to see my husband walking through the door. The kids  jump up from the couch to greet their father at the door. Jude’s legs are attacked by two little kids hugging him. He crouches down and gives his two kids two hugs with his two arms. He leaves a few kisses and their faces before getting up. They walk back to the couch and continue watching their show. He walks over to me and pulls me into his side. I feel butterflies fly around in my stomach as he kisses my forehead. “Missed ya. How’s my baby?” He asks, rubbing my very pregnant belly. “Very active. Footballer’s genetics, for sure.” I say, referencing the very painful kicks to my ribs. “Whatever you made smells amazing.” He says. “Hmm. You, however, do not smell amazing. Please, go shower.” I tell him, kissing his lips and patting his chest. In my defense, ‘straight out of training in the summer’ is not the most appealing scent. He rushes upstairs to take a shower. Finally, I don’t have to deal with these kids alone. 

“Mama, please!?” Nora begs. “Nora, please. You’re giving me a headache. We cannot get a dog, because I will be the one taking care of it.” I try to explain to my daughter, my head in my hands. Where is Jude when I need him? “Yeah, and you’re too useless to help.” Noah adds. “Hey!” Nora yells. “Noah! That is not nice!” I tell him. “It’s true!” He says, expecting me to agree with him. “Is not!” Nora screams. “Is too!” Noah yells back. Nora jumps off of her place on the couch, onto her brother on the floor. A full blown bar brawl breaks out on my living room floor between my 5 year olds. “Hey! Stop it!!” I yell, trying to pull them apart. “Jude!!!” 

“Hey! Where were you!?” I scold my husband. “Hmm?” He groans, his face in a pillow. He looked so tired when he got in, so I assume he went to sleep. “I needed you!” I tell him. “Hmm… I’m sorry. Come cuddle with me.” I grumbles, grabbing my hand. “No!” I yell pulling my hand away. I look at the clock on the wall. It reads 6:00. Only an hour and a half until Jude’s family arrives. I make my way downstairs and finish icing my, now cooled, carrot cake with a cream cheese icing. I do some cleaning around the house before his family gets here.

“It’s so nice to see you guys! Jude’ll be down in a second. He’s just freshening up.” I say to my in-laws. I guide them to the table and sit them down. I have all the food laid out in a line in front of them. “Everything smells amazing, Y/N.” Denise says. “You really outdid yourself again.” Mark adds. “Uncle Jobe!” The twins come running into the room, and hug their uncle. “Well, what about us?” Their grandfather asks, holding his arms open for a hug. They run to their grandparents and hug them. “Sit down, kids.” I tell them. After a few arguments and a stern look from my side, they finally sit down. 

“Mum, dad! It’s so nice to see you!” Jude says, coming down the stairs. He hugs his brother and father then kisses his mum’s forehead. He sits down at his designated spot at our dining table. I serve everyone their first plate of food. I grab the kid’s plastic plates and put some food on it for them. “Mum, I don’t want veggies!” Noah says. “Me neither!” Nora adds. I look up at Jude who is too busy in conversation with Jobe to parent his kids. After some convincing and the promise of cake, I get them to eat all their food. At this point, the kids have argued with everything I’ve told them. Anything they could make difficult, they made difficult. I can see that Jude has taken notice of his kids’ behaviors. He hasn’t said anything yet, but I can see it brewing. 

“Y/N, this cake is amazing!” Jobe says with his mouth full. “Thank you. I had a little helper in the kitchen.” I say, poking Nora’s side. “I helped too!” Noah shouts. “I’m sure you did, Noah. Don’t yell.” Jude chimes in. “No, you didn’t!” Nora shouts louder. I let out a sigh. “Yes, I did!” The kids start bickering back and forth again. Jude looks at me then to his kids. Before he can say anything, I speak up. “You don’t have to argue, Nora. You both helped.” After a few stern looks from Jude, the twins quiet down. 

“How’s the baby?” Denise asks me. “She’s been okay. Very active. Very painful.” I say. “Mama, can we go play??” Noah asks, itching to get away from the adult conversation. “Sure, honey. Just stay out of the kitchen and the garden.” I tell him. I don’t want them playing anywhere near glass or knives, and the garden is too far for us to monitor them. Jude and I get caught in conversation after eating my carrot cake before we hear a crash and break. Jude quickly stands up, much faster than me, and makes his way to where the sound came from. Mark puts his hand on my back for support while I stand up. I waddle to where now Jude and the kids stand. He’s ushering them away from where I see my favorite mug broken. It’s the mug that Jude got me when I gave birth to the twins. I feel tears well in my eyes, a mix of pregnancy hormones and sentiment hitting me. Jude’s family senses my sadness and Jude’s anger. “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome.” Denise jokes. Jude subtly agrees and hugs his family, indicating to them that they should leave. Mark gives me a tight hug to tell me that it’ll be okay and they leave. 

Once they’re gone, I feel tears running down my face. Jude walks up to me and gives me a hug. He kisses my head. “So, who wants to explain WHY YOU WERE IN THE KITCHEN AFTER WE TOLD YOU NOT TO BE!?” Jude says loudly. He looks down at our kids who have their heads down. “You two have been nothing but trouble today. Am I right!?” He says. “Yes, dad…” The twins say in unison. “Your mum has been so tired lately, and you two have only contributed to that.” I look at Nora’s face to see her nearly breaking a tear. She’s not used to being yelled at by her daddy. “Jude-” I say, but am quickly interrupted. “No, these two need to face the consequences.” He says to me. He turns his attention back to his kids. “Go to your room. Now. And if we hear any fighting or bickering in there, you will NEVER hear the end of it. Now go.” He says, firmly. The kids stomp their way up the stairs and enter their shared bedroom. 

“I’m so sorry, love. I haven’t been there for you lately. I can’t even imagine how much trouble these two have been giving you. I love you.” Jude says, sitting me down on the couch. He picks up the large pieces of glass and then pulls out the vacuum. He starts vacuuming the hazardous pieces of glass on the floor. Once it’s all clean he cleans up the table and does the dishes. 

He comes back to the couch and sits down next to me. We discuss our kids' punishments and then he helps me up. He takes me up the stairs and into their bedroom. Both Nora and Noah are sitting on their respective beds quietly. “So, your mother and I have decided no T.V. for a week.” Jude breaks the news to our kids. “A week!?” “But that’s not fair!” The kids interject. “No ‘but’s. It’s not up for discussion.” I say. “Honey, go to bed. I’ll be there in a second.” Jude says. “I love you two.” I say, unable to resist. I waddle my way into my bedroom and sit on our bed. I swing my legs onto the bed. “I want you two to get up and apologize to mama.” I hear faintly before the door is swung open. The kids crawl up onto the bed and give me a hug. “We’re so sorry, mama.” Nora says. “We love you.” Noah adds. I pull both of them into a hug and kiss their foreheads. “I love you too. And it’s okay, honey. I forgive you. Now, go sleep. It’s late.” I tell them. They hug their dad on their way out and go to sleep.

Jude quickly grabs me and carries me bridal style. “Whoa! What are you doing?” I ask my husband. He carries me to our large and luxurious bathroom. He places me on the floor and starts removing both mine as his clothes. He takes my hand and helps me step into our hot tub, already filled with warm water, and turns on the jets. He opens our cabinet and takes out our expensive bath bomb and drops it into the water. I watch it fizz away as he gets in behind me. He places his hands on my baby bump and kisses my neck. “I haven’t been giving you much attention lately, have I?” I smirks as his hands move lower and lower. 

Wattpad: funkyfishfeet

DM for requests

[delumimi]

Trouble Sleeping?

Summary: You are tired of Leon’s snoring.

Gender: Fluff.

Pairing: Death Island Leon x Reader.

A/N: I had to redo this twice ‘cause it got deleted but anyways this is so short i am sorry, I have to clarify that english isn’t my native language so I apologize for any grammar errors, enjoy!

Your marriage with Leon was all you could’ve asked for after so many years of being in love with him, 3 years of dating and now 1 freshly year of marriage, you are so grateful to have someone like Leon as a partner. You respect him and he respects you and there’s no doubt that you two love each other intensely.

However… That doesn’t mean you don’t have problems.

You were currently in your bedroom bed staring deeply at the ceiling stuck in thoughts with a strong frown on your face, sitting up a little you take a look at the clock

2:45 AM.

Leon had an annoying habit at snoring so loud at night, and you understood that he was tired after returning from missions, poor boy never gets to relax at his job but as much as you loved him, you needed to rest tonight.

Sighing, you turn to your side to observe his peaceful state, you almost felt guilty for having to wake him up but he lead you no option.

You raise your hand and place it against his mouth attempting to shut him up for once. To your surprise, Leon stirs a little in his sleep but roughly, he turns to his other side kicking his legs almost throwing you out of the bed. Snoring even louder.

This motherfucker….

Alright, challenge accepted.

You look around trying to find something until an idea crosses your mind.

Smiling wickedly, you take a small pillow and turn to his side again.

You press the pillow on his mouth carefully enough to not suffocate him as you search his face looking for any signs of discomfort but you don’t see any.

The snoring stops but now noises are coming out of his lips thanks to the pillow making pressure on it, making him look like he is beatboxing.

Okay, this was definitely it.

You pat his chest now seriously wanting him to wake up.

“Leon.” You whisper quietly so you don’t scare him as he wakes up.

But… No response.

Sighing you pat his chest harder this time.

“Leon? Wake up.” You tell him again firmly.

Still no response.

“Leon! Wake uuuup.” You start to shake his body roughly this time, getting desperate but he doesn’t react.

What is he? A bear hibernating or something?

You start to get more annoyed, Leon was never a deep sleeper but when he came back exhausted he attempted to be one, and that never irritated you… Well until now.

You are not gonna get away with this Kennedy.

You place yourself at his lap, raising your hand to gently slap him- not enough to hurt but to let him know that you are there.

“Leeeooon.” You repeat the same movements, groaning since he doesn’t wake up. You stare at the clock again.

3:05 AM.

You slap him again harder and he finally reacts, squinting his eyes a little, but just before he talks, you slap him again with such a force that his head turns to his side and you are pretty sure that if it was daytime you will be able to see the red mark on his cheek.

He looks at you so shocked… Like you killed his entire family and burned them in front of him.

“Wha- What was that for?!” He finally speaks after a moment of just looking at each other.

“I don’t know… You tell me.” I talk back at him crossing your arms in your chest.

He stays silent rubbing his eyes looking at you.

“Good morning to you too.”

“It’s 3AM Leon.” You said rolling your eyes.

“Then why would wake me up? Did something happen?” He asks confused and a little concerned looking at you still shocked about the slap thing.

“Nothing happened Leon…” You reassured him. “But did you ever realized you snore a lot?”

“Snore?” He looks at his side and then at you. “I don’t snore.”

“Yes. Yes you do, and loud.” You remark the final part. “You even woke me up, I had to slap you.”

“Okay” He paused. “I am sorry love but you didn’t had to slap me.” He rubs his cheek looking at you a little offended.

“Oh believe me. I had to.” You give him a final look before laying down on the bed, your back facing him. Sighing contently you embrace your pillow. Closing your eyes feeling the sleepiness kick in.

Finally, some peaceful sleep.

“I don’t snore loud.” You heard Leon, interrupting your peaceful state.

“Whatever you say.”

…..

“Did I seriously wake you up?” He said with a softer tone this time.

Some shuffling was heard until you feel some strong arms embracing you from behind. Pressing kisses on you neck as a way to say sorry.

“Forgive me?” He whispers.

“I will think about it…”

“I can make it up to you if that’s what you want.” He says and you feel his hands under your blouse lifting it up.

“Go to sleep Leon.” You stop his wrists from going further.

“But-“

“No way you are trying to get me to do funny stuff at 3 in the morning.” You scoffed at him.

“Is it working?”

“No.”

You heard him laugh from behind and can’t help the smile that starts forming at your lips. You turn and press a delicate kiss on his lips.

“There. You are forgiven now let me sleep in peace.” You rest your head on his chest feeling to his heartbeat, somehow it calmed you down on your rougher moments- just listening to it made you feel so safe.

“Alright m’lady.” He presses a kiss on your head pulling even closer even if that was impossible.

Surely it will be a long morning, not having your enough hours of rest always affected you but seeing Leon’s face when you slapped him, you know is worth it.

Smiling you drift off to sleep.

Or that’s what you thought.

Snores.

…….

Whatever, you weren’t even planing to have a good sleep anyway.

[chaoticace2005]

The list of regrets I totally have and am not just writing because Charlie is making me, Vagina Vaggie is glaring at me, and I want the free rent:

By Angel Dust, 3 time X-X-X award winner.

(Warning, there is some victim blaming in this. The abuse Angel faces from Val is not his fault, but given that I’m writing this from his perspective I figured it would be something he’d add.)

1. Writing this list

2. Verbally complaining about writing this list cause now Vagina wants to stab me.

3. Only taking half my usual hit before starting today.

4. Complaining about not being high enough.

5. Not hiding my drugs better

6. Not having more stashes of drugs

7. Calling TV superior to radio.

8. Not killing that snake before he had a chance to go to the hotel.

9. Not “trying hard enough” at this shitty hotel.

10. Being too close to roof so the CRAZY BITCH COULD THROW ME OFF OF IT.

11. Walking up the stairs with Pentious only to have to go IMMEDIATELY BACK DOWN.

12. Signing my deal with fucking Valentino. Seriously I’m a fucking idiot.

13. Even suggesting the idea that Charlie should come to the studio. She’s just going to get hurt.

14. Mouthing off to Val.

15. Not getting Charlie out of the hotel sooner

16. Being such a pathetic, dick sucking ho who isn’t good at anything beyond sex.

17. Not being able to take all of this.

18. Not acting well enough cause some this bitchass cat is seeing through me.

19. Ever offering that bitchass cat my services.

20. Pushing Husk’s boundaries

21. Not being my true self.

22. Acting for so long I don’t even really know who my true self is

23. Being a dick to Charlie

24. Being a dick to Husk

25. Being a dick to everyone

26. Putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner.

27. Calling Smiles a creepy dommy daddy.

28. Letting Niffty know about some of my more kinky films. She’s getting ideas…

29. Trying to play poker with Husk (and not even strip poker!)

30. Testing if my venom works on myself (it doesn’t and now I have pink bite marks)

31. Leaving what I used to clean my bites out because somehow Alastor found them and is now TEMPORARILY PARALYZED AND I DONT WANT HIM TO KILL ME WHEN HE CAN MOVE AGAIN.

32. Not answering Val’s texts.

33. Wearing boots. Seriously these things hurt sometimes.

34. Having ugly feet so I can’t NOT wear boots.

35. Tracking mud into the hotel

36. Mentioning sex around the Egg Bois because now I have to explain what it is.

37. Describing sex as something their boss “has never had,” it got back to Pentious and I’m scared.

38. Mentioning “Vox” anywhere in Alastor’s vicinity.

39. Agreeing to play Monopoly with Niffty. In general Monopoly sucks but Niffty likes to get knives involved?!?!

40. Getting addicted to drugs.

41. Getting caught in that alleyway by my BITCHASS brother.

42. Not trying harder for Molly.

43. Not saying goodbye.

44. Fucking overdosing.

45. Doing literally fucking nothing with my life and nothing with my death.

46. Taking the easy was out and doing whatever pops told me to

47. Yelling “FUCK” loudly in church that one time

48. Not teaching these people at the hotel how to FUCKING MAKE SPAGHETTI RIGHT?!

49. Getting high with Cherri.

50. Telling Val to “fuck off”

51. Flirting with that one cannibal guy because now they all seem to want to EAT ME (and not in the sexy way)

52. Leaving those pot brownies out. High cannibals, Egg Boiz, and Nifftys are terrifying.

53. Letting myself be named “Angel” because this makes shit too damn confusing plus I think Niffty wants to KILL ME?!

54. Not spending more time with these losers

55. Not opening myself up to Husk sooner.

56. Being too much of a coward to tell him how I feel.

57. Mentioning Pent has two dicks to Cherri cause she won’t stop asking about it.

58. Not doing enough to save Pentious.

59. Not telling him how much he means to me.

60. Trying to lift way more than I should have. Apparently six arms doesn’t mean I’m super strong.

61. Calling Niss a short motherfucker who nobody likes. I’m sorry, I’ll be better (and call him something even worse next time.)

62. Still being too much of a coward to tell Husk how I feel.

63. Flirting with Husk in Italian when he UNDERSTOOD ME THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?!

64. Getting a room on the same side of the building as Alastor’s because he keeps laughing at 3 in the morning???

65. Kissing Husk in public. Val is mad.

66. Trying to even have a boyfriend with Val around. It’s stupid.

67. Calling yourself stupid for wanting to have a boyfriend.

68. Giving my boyfriend access to this list.

69. No regrets. Only 69. :D (Jesus Christ you’re a child.)

[venusjaynie]

Patch Me Up

Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

summary: Billy, your (secret) boyfriend, shows up at your house (which is really Steve's house) after a bad fight with Neil, and Steve has never been more confused.

CW: hurt/comfort, minor injury detail, mentions of abuse (it's very brief!!), lots of fluff, billy is probably OOC but I do not care 🫶🫶, Steve wants to put his and Billy's differences aside for your sake.

Word count: 2k

2:45am

Someone's at the door. They knock once, and you don't make a move to answer. But then the bell rings, and they knock again so, with a groan, you get out of bed and walk past Steve's room to see if he's still asleep, or if he was also woken up by the disturbance from downstairs. Luckily, he's asleep.

You make your way down the stairs of the house and, for safety, you grab Steve's nail bat from its place beside the front door. Slowly, you unlock the door and open it just enough so that you can see whoever is on the other side of it.

It's Billy.

You open the door fully and drop the bat as quietly as you can. Billy looks like he's been dragged to hell and back, to put it simply. For a second, you're confused as to why he's here at 2:45 on a Wednesday morning, but his eyes shine with unshed tears, and the big red mark on his cheek speaks for itself.

"Hey, pretty girl, mind letting me in? I'm dying out here." You nod and step out of the way with nothing but worry for him casting over your features. You notice that he's limping a little, but you don't mention it.

"God, Billy, what the hell happened to you?" You know it was Neil, but Billy had insisted that things with his dad were getting better. He laughs half-heartedly, not meeting your eye.

"I, uh, let Max go over to the Byers to stay over with her friend Ellie or El, or something, 'cause Neil and Susan were supposed to go away for a few nights. But they ended up coming home early, and when he found out he told me to go pick her up. But I told him I didn't want to disturb Mrs byers, and he didn't take to that too kindly." He huffs out another humourless chuckle, but you can hear him choking up as he speaks.

"Oh, babe..." You start, but you're at a loss for words. You've seen Billy a few times after a bad run-in with his dad, but there's blood coming from his nose and he's cradling his right elbow in his hand, and not to mention his left eye is swelling slightly. "C'mere, let me clean you up a bit."

As you go to take Billy's hand to lead him to the downstairs bathroom you can hear Steve's floorboards creak just above you, and his footsteps echo through the hall upstairs.

"Hello?" Steve calls out from the top of the stairs.

"Hey, Stevie, it's just me." You reply.

"Who were you talking to?" You can hear him making his way down the stairs. "Hargrove? Is that you?"

"Don't get too excited, Harrington." Steve rolls his eyes at Billy's sarcasm.

"Why are you in my house, man? What-" He stops himself as he reaches the bottom of the stairs and can see Billy's face in the light, letting out a soft 'oh'.

Neither of them speak for a moment or two, and you take that as your cue to get back to the previous task as hand.

"Billy, let's get you fixed up." He nods silently and follows you to the bathroom. You tell him to sit down on the lid of the toilet, and you open the cupboard under the sink to grab the first aid kit. You rummage around a bit, until you remember that Steve took it last week after Will had fallen off his bike and gashed a pretty nasty cut into his knee.

“I need to run to the living room to grab the first aid kit, okay?” You ask gently, already heading toward the door, but Billy grabs your hand before you can go any further.

“No, please don’t leave.”

“Baby, it’s only for a second. I’ll be right back.” He shakes his head.

“Can’t you just yell for Harrington to get it? I just don’t think I can be alone right now.” He speaks so quietly, more so than you’ve ever heard him do before, and there's something about the rawness and honesty in his eyes that makes you never want to leave him alone again.

“Steve?” You shout, feeling bad about disturbing your friend again.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He quickly walks back down the stairs and comes into view as he stands in the doorframe of the bathroom.

“Could you grab the first aid kit from the living room, please?” He nods without a word, and emerges a few minutes later with the little, green plastic box.

“Thank you. Sorry for waking you up, you can go back to bed now. promise we won’t disturb you again.” Steve just laughs lightly and shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m up now. No chance of me getting back to sleep for at least 2 hours. Might as well do something useful with my time.” He heads in the direction of the kitchen, and you close the door of the bathroom behind him.

Walking back over to billy, who is sat silently on the counter of the bathroom, you’re able to truly take in how beaten up he looks. His left eye is swelling more and more, and the red mark on his cheek has almost turned purple.

“Oh, Billy.” You slowly reach out to touch his face, but he flinches back slightly at the notion of your hand coming into contact with his cheek.

"Shit- sorry." He apologises quickly and takes your outstretched hand in his.

"You don't have to be sorry, it's not your fault." You give his hand a reassuring squeeze and get to patching him up. You clean up his bloody nose, which he scrunches up when the alcohol rub you use on his cheek stings a bit, and you apologise quietly. You find a bandage and you fashion a make-shift sling. It's definitely nothing special, but it's better than letting his arm hang free without support.

You catch sight of the shift in his features when he goes to adjust his position on the counter. His hand shoots up to hold onto his chest, and you immediately worry for the state of his bones and internal organs.

"Billy?" He looks up at you. "Can you take your shirt off?" He smirks.

"You tryna get me naked? Could've just said so, baby." He laughs under his breath, and despite the situation, you crack a small smile. He removes his shirt, and you can't help the short intake of breathe of breath that you take. The skin on Billy's chest is red and blue and black and purple and the more you examine it the worse it looks. It's horrible.

"Oh my god." You breathe. You look through the first aid kit for some kind of oil or ointment that you could use to treat the discolouring on his chest, but it was to no avail. "I don't think I have anything that can help that. I'm sorry, Billy. I'm so sorry." You aren't really apologising for your lack of treatment products. You're apologising because this is real. He has to live life like this, and there's nothing you can do about it.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's not your fault. You didn't know I was coming, yeah?" You nod. "And besides, you've done more than enough, sweetheart. More than you ever needed to, alright? I'm okay, I swear." You know he's lying. He's not okay. But for once, you choose to not argue back. You honestly don't have the strength.

The rest of his casualties aren't your forte, unfortunately. Bruises and a potentially sprained ankle- which he promises 'isn't even that bad'- aren't things that you can tend to, but you think some ice to his ankle will do him some good, and maybe provide some pain relief.

"Hey, Billy, let's go to the living room, 'kay?" He nods, and stands up, and you put your arm around his waist to support him. He kisses your temple and starts to limp out of the bathroom to make his way to the living room.

Steve is sitting on the sofa when you enter with Billy, and he makes a move to leave.

"I'll give you guys some privacy." He nods at Billy as he leaves, and you truthfully don't want him to go. He's your best friend, and you could use some grounding after what you've done tonight. You don't say anything in protest to his statement though, however, Billy does.

"Harrington? If you wanna stay down here, I don't mind, really." Billy looks almost as shocked as you do, as if he doesn't register what he's saying until the words have already flown out of his mouth and he can't take them back.

"Oh, uh, okay. You sure, man?" Steve makes a move to re-enter the living room.

"Don't make me change my mind, dude." Steve laughs lightly as Billy's answer, and walks back into the living room, closely followed by you and Billy.

You sit down on the couch, Billy following you, and Steve takes his previous seat. You have to admit, it's a little awkward at first. You're the one making conversation and trying to tie them both in, but it's difficult, what with knowing about their past rivalry and all.

You sigh, before saying,

"Alright look, I know you two have your differences, but I'm just as uncomfortable as you both. So, if we're gonna sit here tonight, is there any chance you could just make up? For my sake at least?"

It's a while before either of them speak, and to no one's surprise, it's Steve.

"Yes, yeah okay. I think I can do that."

"Thank you." You smile at him, and wait hopefully for Billy to agree too.

"Fine." He mumbles after a few minutes. You know you won't get much more out of him than that, so you're just glad he cooperated.

"Thanks, Billy." He nods, not saying anything more. "I'm gonna get you some ice for your ankle." Another nod, this time accompanied by a smile.

You leave the room, cringing internally at the thought of leaving Billy alone with Steve. You just hope they can put their differences aside, because it would make your situation a hell of a lot less difficult.

After retrieving the ice from the bottom drawer of the freezer, which took a great deal of effort because you had to clear out the contents of the drawer and then fit it all back in, you head back to living room, silently praying the 2 boys haven't killed each other in your absence. However, as you walk to the door, you hear them before you see them. Billy's laughing, and so is Steve. 'What the hell?' you think to yourself, bemused to say the least.

"Jesus, Harrington, that's fucking hilarious. You know, you're better company than I thought."

"What's gotten into you two, huh?" You chuckle as you saunter in and retake your seat, leaning forward to set the ice on the coffee table, and then prop Billy's ankle on the bag.

"Nothin', sweetheart. This guy's not too bad to have around. He's funnier than I remember." As you lean back against the sofa, Billy stretches his good arm around your shoulders, and you settle against him.

"It's good that the two of you are getting along, for my sake, anyway." Billy doesn't say much, but hums in acknowledgement, while Steve just nods.

It's quiet for a little while longer, until Steve clears his throat somewhat awkwardly.

"Uh, Hargrove- Billy, even- fuck, that feels weird. Yeah, anyway, um, if you ever need a place to stay whenever, you know, this happens, you can always come here." Steve doesn't look at Billy when he talks, but if he did he'd see the way Billy's eyes soften ever so slightly, the way his shoulders relax into the plush couch behind him, the way his eyes go a little glossy.

"Thanks, Steve." Billy replies, before continuing with, "Yeah, that feels weird as shit, man." earning a laugh from both you and Steve.

After a moment, Billy yawns, and his eyes look droopier than they did a minute ago, so you decide now would be a good time for the two of you to head to bed.

"Alright, Stevie, we're gonna head to bed." You stand up, helping Billy do the same.

"Me too." Steve follows in suit, standing and stretching his arms over his head. The three of you head toward the stairs, with Steve behind you and Billy to make sure he can help if the latter falls.

As you're climbing the stairs, however, Steve has something on his mind.

"Hey, kid, any chance you're making pancakes tomorrow morning?" You turn around to face Steve and you don't think you've ever seen him look more hopeful in your life. "Billy, I swear to God, she makes the best pancakes in the world."

Billy smiles and says, "Well, sweetheart, I gotta try 'em. I'm somewhat of a pancake connoisseur, if you will." You roll your eyes.

"Ugh, fine. Yes, Steve, I will make my famous pancakes." You say, and you swear Steve looks like he could jump for joy. "But, you have to make spaghetti tomorrow night."

"Done."

When you reach the top of you stairs, you bid Steve goodnight, and make your way back to your room, but this time with Billy in tow, and you tell him to sit on the bed. Grabbing him one of his shirts that you stole a month ago, you help him out of his other one, careful not to disturb the fine bandaging you had previously carried out on his arm, and you gently pull the new one over his head, guiding his arms through it too. He opts for no pants, just boxers, and you're too tired to object, not that you mind either way, and the two of you lie back in your bed.

"Thanks for takin' care of me." Billy mumbled into your hair.

"Thanks for letting me." You reply, making Billy smile. And for the first time in a long while, Billy sleeps.

[pendarling]

List

• Part 2 > End >>

The villains in the city thought it would be hilarious to rank every hero by the level of beauty.

That’s right.

Not by skill or power, intelligence, speed, or strength at all, but beauty.

First place obviously went to Charisma. Their hero name was literally Charisma. There wasn’t anything more blatantly attractive than that. To top it off, Charisma was naturally photogenetic. Every angle captured of them was another magazine cover. Everyone downtown knew Charisma was certainly God’s favourite creation.

‘Fair enough.’ Hero thought as they stared at the screen in front of them. Their computer hummed quietly as they looked into the comments of civilians discussing their thoughts on the subject as well.

[I fucking love Charisma.]

[Congrats on first place!!😍]

[My favourite hero]

Moving on to the next one was Saturn Dust. Another gorgeous and close second place; it seemed like the villains knew what they were doing. They must’ve taken weeks or even months to prepare a list this detailed. Below each hero was a rating out of five for their other attributes like fighting style and general costume design. Saturn Dust even had a cute catchphrase, which earned them extra marks.

Hero shook their head grimly, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Yet, all Hero was interested in was finding their position on the list. Their eyes wandered as the page scrolled for what seemed like forever.

Were they really that bad?

Before they could fully comprehend it, they’d reached the end of the page. Surely, they must’ve missed it.

Again, Hero scrolled up the page. Eyes now focused and leaning forward on their chair. Their finger paused every few seconds to count the numbers beside each name.

“43, 44, 45, 46…”

However, nothing came about. Bewildered, Hero rubbed their eyes and looked around at their empty apartment. The window let in a cool breeze from the night. Maybe they were tired, but the aching feeling of being forgotten was too painful.

Their fingers tapped on the keyboard.

Ctrl+F

A search bar popped up on the top right corner of the page. Hero quickly typed in their name, desperation getting to them.

Two results appeared, and they hurriedly pressed enter. The first that appeared was a comment mentioning them, equally as baffled at where Hero belonged on the list—the second displayed a small note underneath hero #33, citing Hero as a close friend but nothing more.

Frustration clawed at them after being left out. How hard was it for those villains to give up some recognition here? Should they throw fireworks next time? Or was someone purposely messing with them?

Hero crossed their arms as they thought about their next step. It was impossible that they could’ve gone so unnoticed for this long. Their contributions weren’t like the others, but it wasn’t as if they didn’t do anything at all.

Looking at the page in its entirety, Hero noticed a small grey font underneath the title page.

Each hero listed was ranked based on villains who fought them in battle. This meant all information was first-hand account to keep it as accurate as possible.

Hero slapped their forehead.

It made so much more sense now. Hero only ever fought Villain. They never or hardly ever interacted with the rest of the villains in the city as frequently as they ran into Villain.

They pressed their lips together.

“But that doesn’t make any sense.” They grumbled. Unlike them, Villain did fight multiple heroes at a time. Why would they purposely leave them out? Unless they forgot about them.

Their stomach turned as an aching grew within them. There’s no way Villain could’ve forgotten them but given so much valuable input to the other heroes. Hero scratched their head and glanced at the clock, their thoughts tumbling out of them by the second in search of answers. Then again, they could’ve just never approached the list and dismissed it entirely. It’s not like Villain was the only one asked for their opinion.

Hero tapped their foot, their eyes still blankly staring at the computer screen and then back at the clock. The depths of their consciousness begged them to go out and make a fuss to catch some attention. The other half of their mind demanded that they quit immediately. If not even their enemy could notice them, they might as well not participate at all.

They sighed and shut down the computer.

All this nonsense was getting to their head. It was best to be left in the dark about it anyway. What was that saying again?

Ignorance is bliss.

Hero settled into bed and tucked themselves in. Their eyes closed. ‘Besides, what am I even going to confront Villain with? You don’t think I’m attractive enough to get on the list?’ Hero blushed. Maybe they wouldn’t say it like that. Or— did Villain find them attractive?

Their memories passed them in their past interactions. Hero’s face grew warm. What if Villain was very protective of them and didn’t appreciate the chances Hero might have at getting admirers? What if they got jealous easily?

No. That’s all too ridiculous. Realistically, Villain was unlike that at all. They were manipulative and sadistic. That’s why they had those underlings of theirs always kissing at their feet. Hero frowned as their brows furrowed. No one as self-centred as them could care about some low-level hero.

That didn’t matter to them, though, because Hero didn’t need this. It was below them. A stupid list running around the internet wouldn’t affect them for life. If anything, it was pathetic that anyone would want to be on there. They should be happy that it didn’t get to them.

For about 20 minutes, the reassurance did the trick, but even Hero couldn’t be fooled for too long.

They shot up in bed, fist slamming onto the headboard, “Dammit! Why aren’t I on that list!?”

~~~

MASTERLIST

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Part 2 >

End >>