#arthur's fat ass

[constant-merlin-torture]

Quick Merlin Things Pt. 13

Arthur and Merlin on a hunting trip by themselves and are sitting down having a picnic or smth

Arthur: say Merlin have you ever thought about running away from Camelot to a farm

Merlin, not really paying attention: I mean I basically was slumming it as a small town farmer before I came here but sure yeah

Arthur, nodding: cool

Arthur: and how would you feel about living with other people? Like one other person? That you know and probably like and the other person would like hypothetically die for you

Merlin, still not paying attention but confused: I guess it’d be fine sure

Arthur, sweating: interesting

Arthur:

Arthur, probably feral: how would you feel—hypothetically of course—if that person wanted you to do all the work but then make out after and call you darling and brush your hair and kiss you and hang out with you and eat dinner with you and hug you and then love you a lot

Merlin:

Merlin:

Merlin: arthur what

Arthur: how would you feel if I proposed righ—

GIF if you need visuals or smth idk people like them on here

[arthurmorgansballs]

Featuring me as Arthur Morgan and my fiance as my assistant

[kenanda]

i seem to have crafted such a reputation for myself that i can't even confidently say "I'm thirsty" and 100% mean that my body needs h2o, because any of my friends could reply with "yeah you've made that clear enough in your slutty tags" which would give me severe brain damage

[ghastlybirdie]

so anyways i bought red dead 2 so imma stream it

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

My darling little one who has some song that said you keep a place in my heart (True as fuck by the way)

I am aware you control the flow of people in and out of that place.

Calling me a music director or was it an activity coordinator

That's kinda fucked up.

Yes yes the maintenance man. If the door stays open cedar and death so help me..

Cedar and Death

[umsoyeahokay]

If arthur and merlin got married, i'm pretty sure merlin's sense of fashion would be the same. Maybe he'd trade in clothes with better material but his style would be the same. So, he doesn't really look like a king or a nobleman but more of a neckerchief wearing merchant.

So, what if arthur had this alliance meeting with some queen and merlin just strolls in late. He sits on the seat that arthur kept ready for him and the queen thinks: woah who does this neckerchief guy think he is?

While arthur is like: meRliN, you're latE

Merlin with bitchface #63: I was at the tavern ( code word for I was out keeping your fat ass and the kingdom safe from evil magic users.

Arthur then gives this functional-you better not be hurt-once-over of merlin and turns to their guest and says: this is my husband, Merlin

And the queen looks over to this apparently day drinking, neckerchief wearing king who seems quiet and reserved but genuine with his little hello.

[chubbunnyy]

soft sex with gentle m!dom arthur morgan :((

just imagine him coming home late at night and you’re just not feeling well and he can tell. he approaches you and hugs you from behind

“what’s a’matter, baby?” he’ll ask while pressing his lips to the top of your head

you squirm and then it clicks

“we haven’t uh…. in a while right?” he laughs sheepishly and helps you to your feet and brings you to the bedroom.

he’ll help you strip, praising your body the entire time

“so beautiful, baby… i missed seein’ you like this” he peppers soft kisses all over your soft belly as he slides your clothes off

soon enough he has you seated on his face, his hands digging into the fat of your thighs. your mouth is hanging open in pleasure as your fingers tangle in his hair. his tongue is working fast, nearly making you cum until he stops.

“if you’re gonna cum i want it on my cock” he says sternly before gently guiding you onto the bed.

you stare at his dick, it was hard and dripping pre. he needed you

he lays you down on your belly and gently gropes your ass “this okay, baby?” you nod and he continues

you feel his tip start to prod at your entrance which makes you shudder.

“love you s’much, darlin’… need you s’bad” he mumbles before slowly sliding inside you

he lets out a deep groan, his grip on your asscheek tightens almost painfully which makes you whine

“y’okay?” he stops and releases his grip, gently rubbing circles on your bare flesh. you nod, your fingers gripping the sheets. he smiles softly and continues.

he begins to thrust soft and slow, cooing in your ear as his painfully slow pace continues “doing so good, baby… my favourite girl…” you whine at his brutal pace which makes him chuckle

“you want me to speed up, huh?” he teases before pressing his lips to your neck softly. you whine louder “i know baby, i know. just let me…” he pulls out and flips you onto your back, pressing your legs up to your chest. your stomach folds as your thighs press into it. arthur wastes no time in reinserting himself into you.

you cry out as he reaches deeper parts of you. he can’t hold back anymore. his pace quickens, his hips snapping into yours

you don’t even remembering cumming all you remember is him groaning in pleasure “good girl…. such a good girl”

i am having intense cowboy brainrot mhehehe

(my reqs are open!! pls send some rdr2 stuff plsplspls)

[lordelmelloi2]

Kiritsugu was an ungrateful motherfucker if I had Irisviel I would've literally risked life and limb for that fat rack to survive I would've been buried between those cheeks for all of eternity you couldn't pull me out unless you were King Arthur. Who also is fucking her on the side cause Kiritsugu USELESS ass man isn't even sleeping in the same bed as her at night. And he thinks he can protect her. I mean she literally does have the sheath of the holy sword of victory in her bangin hot body so call me Excalibur I guess.... I'm just saying my truth right now like Kiritsugu was a dumb fucking moron for leaving her alone for even a second I hate his stupid man pain having dip shit moron I think we should kill him again for this alone

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

How about 15 from your 3000k with either Arthur Curry or Billy Hargrove? 🙃

Small Town Summer Days

Billy Hargrove x plus size reader

Summer brings hot weather, which means days lounging by the pool, tiny swimsuits and sundresses

Warnings: Billy is hornee lol, vague mentions of bullying and fatphobia, mutual pining, sexual tension, implied smut

WC: 995

Minors DNI

3000 Follower Celebration

Billy knows that he should look away from her, that it was dangerous to stare at her. Because if he stared for too long, she’d notice. And if she noticed then she would smile. And if she smiled, Billy doubted he would ever be able to dig himself out of this hole he found himself in.

But to look away meant that he wouldn’t be able to see her anymore. He wouldn’t be able to watch as she leaned back into the pool chair, her overly curvy body on display behind a criminally tiny bikini as she read that dumb book Nancy had given her. And if he couldn’t witness that site anymore, then what was even the point of being a lifeguard at this shitty small town pool. 

She was the sweet girl in his grade, the quiet one who had instantly caught his attention when he strutted into math on his first day. She was bigger than the other girls who threw themselves at him, sure, but he did always enjoy women with a bit more meat on their bones, he knew they could handle him real well. And she was shy, so very shy. She got flustered when he said her name. By the time December had rolled around, Billy was already playing around with the idea of how his last name would sound after her first.

That’s how he justified not sleeping with her, she was just too damn innocent and he was too damn deep already. No matter how badly he wanted to corrupt her, he didn’t want to break his own heart when she would inevitably figure out what a bastard he was. But she was making it very difficult for him.

She showed up every day about an hour into his shift, a small tote bag on her shoulder, a floppy hat on her head, and the shortest, sluttiest sundresses he had ever seen covering her large body. The hem always landed in just a way that he could see the seam of where her plump ass met her thighs whenever she bent over. It was a far cry from her normal school wear (which he also found very attractive) and Billy couldn’t help but be thankful for the blistering heat.

Her routine was always the same: claim her chair (usually the one directly across from the life-guard tower), lay out her towel, slip whatever dress she was wearing over her head and carefully store it in her bag, lather up her perfect skin with sunscreen, and then settle down to read for a few hours. Occasionally, she would slip into the chlorinated water with a graceful dive and emerge on the shallow end like a Bond girl stepping from the surf in one of those spy movies. He loved those days, they were his absolute favourite.

His other favourite days happened to be whenever she would wear her purple swimsuit. Somehow it made her skin glow in the Indiana sun. Plus it helped that it was her tiniest swimsuit and it showed off everything.

His blue eyes were so firmly fixed on the way the lilac bikini top stretched over the soft fat of her tits that he didn’t notice the fact that her book was now forgotten beside her and her heart-shaped sunglasses rested at the tip of her nose. But he did see how her nipples pebbled under the thin fabric and goosebumps exploded all over her skin like a cold wind had washed over her. 

“Fuck me.” He groaned under his breath, his already small swim shorts getting even smaller. 

Billy’s firm gaze was not unfamiliar to her, in fact, he had been glaring her way since the first time he waltzed into Hawkins High. He, like everyone else, seemed to find her infinitely fascinating in the worst way. But unlike the others who had tormented her throughout her school years, she found herself looking forward to his scrutinising looks. 

He was handsome, far more attractive than the boys she had grown up with, but he also had a confidence that drew her in like a moth to a flame. Like every other teenage girl in Hawkins, she fell quickly and she fell hard but unlike her peers, she knew that Billy wouldn’t even consider her as a hook-up.

So his tanned muscular body and perfectly messy blond hair remained firmly in her fantasies, fuelled by her daily visits to his work-place. She dreamed about him strutting over to her chair, his deep voice, tinged with a slight surfer dude accent, crooning to her. He would invite her to the private lifeguard locker room to “cool down” or offer her a ride home in his Camaro which he would pull over to the side of a dirt road and then pull her into his strong lap. When the images flashing behind her eyelids got too steamy, she would force herself to take a quick dip. Ignoring the intense glare from the King of Hawkins as she would emerge from the cold water.

And now, she felt like her whole body was on fire. Billy was watching her again, absentmindedly biting on the end of his sunglasses as he did so. Wetness pooled at the apex of her thick thighs and she squirmed, her nipples tightening with arousal. 

Even from across the pool, she saw the way his eyes darkened with lust. His plump lips curled into a smirk as he finally met her gaze. He kept eye-contact while he stepped off of the raised chair and began to saunter over. Her chest heaved with desire which grew stronger with each step he took. By the time he reached her chair, she felt like the air had been ripped from her lungs.

He gave her a slow once over, letting his blue eyes trail over every single piece of exposed skin. And then grinned wickedly.

“So princess, how bout I give you a ride home.” 

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[kelly-thesecond]

Older!Merlin x Younger!Arthur Concept

Ok so here's Older!Merlin with Younger!Arthur like I mentioned in my last post suggesting more of this.

-------

Why was it always a hunting trip? Arthur would never admit to Merlin that he was right, but even he was starting to see the pattern of bad luck that followed them everytime that he wanted to catch some game.

In his defence, it was usually bandits. Bandits were familiar and he could handle them.

This was no bandits.

Why couldn't it have been bandits?

"What is wrong with you?!" The king demands, hitting his manservant on the head, after Merlin scared off what was a perfectly good deer.

"It was a deer! We don't need that much food! Especially not your fat ass!"

"It's muscle! You wouldn't know it because you're  a twig!"

"Better a twig than a dollophead! And I'm not as scrawny as I used to be thank you very much."

"Still look like a boy though, goes with your mental age.".

Logically, Arthur knew Merlin was a man now, he was just two years younger than himself after all. But it was hard to see sometimes, with that boyish grin that warmed his chest in ways that he wouldn't dare examine further, and how he didn't act in a way that his father had taught him a man should act. Anyhow, his father was dead, and what was a deadmans business to tell him how a man should be.

Merlin was all that mattered: smart as a whip, wise, loyal, and the bravest and kindest man he has ever met.

Of course, he was also an idiot, disrespectful, the clumsiest person in the lands and the worst manservant to ever live.

Arthur prefered to express the ladder.

And he would come to regret not having expressed the former to his manservant.

"Says the man who has to be dragged off his bed like a whiny child!"

"Well, Merlin-". Then it happened. A pained noise, that Arthur would rather not ever hear again, came from his friend as he fell to his knees and held his chest.

"What is it!? What's wrong!?" He said as he dropped his crossbow and kneeled in front of him.

"A-Arthur.", and then, because they weren't lucky enough to have been just a muscle spasm, Merlins chest started to glow. And the glow started slowly spreading throughout his body.

Arthur froze, completely lost on what to do.

"Merlin! What's happening!?"

What Merlin cursed? Was there a sorcerer nearby that he hadn't noticed? How had he not noticed anyone?

He looked around for a moment but saw no one to kill or demand answers from, and his attention was back on the glowing.

"Something important.".

Do something!! Anything!!

It wasn't like Arthur to freeze with fear, but here he was. The glowing had spread to his neck now.

"Arthur.", his name had made him look up into his friends eyes.

"It's going to be ok.". Why was Merlin comforting him?

"Idiot," he said more fondly than he entended, "I'm supposed to say that to you!".

"Do you trust me?"

He didn't freeze or hesitate with that one.

"Yes."

The glowing was in his eyes now.

"Then trust him as well.".

"Merlin!".

FLASH. A explosion of light temporarily blinds him.

It took a moment to process that he had also been thrown a few paces back.

Merlin.

Was Merlin dead?

The thought made him sick to his stomach.

After recovering, the king looked in front him.

A man, with his back turned to Arthur was standing where Merlin had been, looking around.

"What the hell have the druids done to me now!?"

That voice.

"Why must they do this? Couldn't they have just listened to me??"

Arthur decided to slowly get up and took a better look at the man. He wore a brown cloak that certainly didn't seem comfortable, leather forearm braces and curly back hair.

Was this a trick?

Arthur almost had half a mind to pull out his sword and demand answers for what the hell had just happened. But he also didn't know if he could pull a sword on Merlin, or at least someone that sounded, and talked, and felt, and looked, and moved like Merlin.

"Nooo, let's completely ignore Merlin and teleport him to God knows where without even a warnin-"

"Merlin.".

The man froze for a minute and Arthur couldn't blame him.

He slowly turned around and the king was greated with a full black beard and wide deep blue eyes he would know anywhere.

The age in his face, the broader shoulders, the diferent clothes, the black beard and hair that was longer and curled along his forehead, eyes and nape.

Everything felt unfamiliar and familiar at the same time.

This was Merlin, definitely older, but Merlin all the same.

Everything was a shock but something stood out from all the rest.

The grief in his eyes.

He had seen his manservant grieve before but this was diferent. Merlin looked like he was seeing a ghost in front of him.

"Arthur?"

Even the way he said his name.

"I-Is that you?", he has slowly gotten closer and extended his hand to touch the king's chest with his fingertips.

Soon his full palm touched his heart, as if trying to make sure Arthur was really there. The hand seemed to warm him to his core.

"Merlin?...what?", another hand rose to his cheek, wiping away a tear. When had he started crying?

And suddenly Merlin was hugging him like he thought he would vanish right there and then, and Arthur's wasn't sure if that wasn't possible, due to what had just happened.

How had they come to this?

He was considering giving up hunting.

-------

I tried my best, hope you enjoyed it.

Nothing will come out of it from me. I mean probably, I'm just not a great writer, I'm dyslexic and my english is not good enough to write full fanfics I think, but if anyone wants to pick it up they are welcome to.

Any advice or just smth about my writing is appreciated.

Also if you spot any mistakes, please tell me.

[hellcheerforeverfan]

So Im rewatching merlin with my boyfriend, who is watching for the first time. And we are making our way through season 1 and here are some of his comments

"everyone wants to fuck merlin"

"poor horses" x4

"arthur has a fat ass"

"look at his (arthurs) ass!

"everyone is so attractive holyshit"

"gwen and merlin are flirting again"

"Are they ( gwen and merlin) ever gonna talk about that kiss?"

"Merlin has fuck me eyes"

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Why Didn't you Ask?

Okay, so, from my lovely friend @mrsarthurmorgan7 I have a request with chubby Arthur and chubby reader, which of course I LOVE writing, I always love to write something inclusive like that, especially considering I'm a part of the chubby girls.

The premise is as follows: (Modern) Reader sees Arthur chopping wood and gets a little...worked up. Arthur comes in to clean up and happens to notice.

SO...I'm excited, let's get started!!

Warnings: Chubby Reader, Chubby Arthur, NSFW 18+, Female Reader, fluff, Modern AU, female self pleasure, go to confession for sure after this one, vulgar language

You and Arthur had finally moved in together. It should have happened quite a while ago, but the both of you had been...well, not shy, but apprehensive.

Arthur loves you, and you love him, but the both of you have had some bad luck in life, neither of you blamed the other for being a little...nervous.

But now that the two of you had finally moved in together, it's been absolutely lovely.

You love waking up next to him, even if it's by a loud phone alarm alongside a grumpy Arthur.

He loves it too, not having to travel so far to see you anymore, being able to come home to see you, it brings a smile to his face no matter how shitty his day may have been.

The house the two of you decided to spring for was...in short, Arthur as a house.

It was a nice ranch house, white siding with a brick entrance way, a covered porch, and two stories. Plenty of land too, Arthur was so excited to finally have room to work on some project cars.

Not that he'd had the time or money to buy them just yet.

Right now he was outside, working by himself, chopping wood for the coming winter.

Though it was hot as hell right now, at least eighty five out.

You'd brought him some water earlier, which had earned you a quick kiss on the cheek, and a tap on the ass as you walked away.

You sat on your covered porch with the fan going, rocking on one of the rocking chairs the two of you had purchased.

The book in your hands was keeping you busy, or at least it had been, until you looked up and noticed your boyfriend had removed his shirt and tossed it somewhere else.

Arthur was a chubby man, in the best way possible.

That 'farm strength' people always talked about. He had some fat on him, but his arms and back couldn't be trifled with.

You always got so mesmerized by the way his arms moved, and christ, the size of his chest drove you nuts.

That coupled with the body hair he had, so deliciously placed, not too thick, not too thin...

You seem hypnotized, the book forgotten in your hands, as you watch him swing the axe down onto another piece of wood.

The muscles of his shoulders, and biceps move so fluidly god...you could imagine his forearm around your throat...that voice of his in your ear....

Each swing of the axe you watched his biceps flex, when he turned slightly you could see his back too...and you couldn't help but think about how his back felt under you hands, your legs around his waist..

Everything about him was so....enticing. it always had been.

You cross your legs, and dog ear your book page, placing the book down on the little table in-between the two rocking chairs.

His hands were massive, even just on the axe handle, they were massive.

They always felt...so...so good all over your body, your hips, your thighs, your neck...

You swallow and shuffle again, your thoughts beginning to get to you, the images of the two of you in bed starting to flood your mind like the plauge.

"Christ..."

You mumble to yourself, every movement is mesmerizing, the little grunt he gives with the swing of the axe and then the toss of the wood.

You wondered briefly how long he'd sit there and cut wood.

He swings the axe again, grunting as the axe slices through the wood.

You again cross your legs, and after a moment or so you quietly get up, and head inside.

You didn't want to bother him, not while he was working, but you could feel the wetness gathering between your legs.

It hadn't taken much for you to get that slick...

You head upstairs to your shared bedroom, closing the door behind you.

Normally you'd put a towel down on the bed, but at the moment you couldn't care less.

You open the bottom drawer of your side table and pull out one of your favorite toys, that had honestly been a gag gift at first but quickly proved to be...quite fantastic.

One of those stupid 'clone a willy' things, that you'd surprised Arthur with, it was meant to be kind of silly, but, you'd used it one time while he was at work, and it was...fantastic, if filled you up just as well as he did.

You climb onto bed, and shuffle out of your bottoms, tossing them to the side without care.

You start slow, teasing yourself with just your hand first, gently running your finger over your slit, easily at first, no harsh movements.

You don't want to dive in immediately.

Your fingers continue like their travel, slowly, just barely slipping past your folds, just to collect some of your slick.

Finally you slowly push your fingers in, two at first, you play with yourself, wanting to get yourself prepped for the toy.

It was just as big as Arthur was....you'd need just a little bit of help..

Soon you add a third finger, shuffling your hips up against your hand, trying to muffle moans as you help yourself.

You curl your fingers, feeling your inner walls, curling faster and faster, your clit brushing against your palm, small whimpers coming out of you.

Finally you can't take it, and reach for the toy, you fingers are replaced with the tip of it, then you slowly push it further in, stifling a moan at the size.

Arthur would have been better.

Even though it was his cock...He'd be better. His voice, his body...he would have been better.

You begin to move the toy, pulling it out and pushing it back in, slowly at first, before you begin to speed it up, rocking your hips up against it.

You try to be quiet but you can't stop the moan that escapes your throat.

"Arthur~" You moan his name, your free hand going to your breast, shoving it under your sports bra.

You were too far gone to really hear anything, so you missed it when the door closed as Arthur came in.

Didn't hear it when he called your name, curious as to where you were, and certainly didn't hear it when he climbed the stairs.

He however, did hear you.

He was smart enough to understand that wasn't a call for help.

Arthur opened the door slowly, not wanting to startle you, and he was absolutely floored with the sight he saw.

Hell if he had his phone on him he would have been recording you.

Your legs spread wide on the bed as you fucked yourself relentlessly with a toy, the toy of HIS cock.

He felt a sudden rush downwards at the thought. Out of all the toys you had, you'd picked the one that was a direct clone of HIM.

He pushes the door open further and that's when you realize he's there.

You gasp and close your legs instinctively, your hand still keeping the toy pressed deep inside you.

You try to pull the covers over yourself with your free hand only for your wrist to be caught by Arthur's hand, your face flushing as he looks down at you.

"Now Darlin'...why'd you wanna go and cover up such a beautiful sight for?"

He smirks at you, pushing your hand down to the bed, leaning down and kissing your throat, he smells of sweat from working outside, as well as a faint scent of his cologne.

His lips graze your ear as he speaks quietly.

"Shoulda asked Princess....you know I always love makin' you scream...Up here shovin' an imitation of my cock into you when you can have the real thing."

He sucks at a sensitive spot right where your jaw and ear meet, murmring against your skin.

"Legs spread like a whore....jus' for me, and you were gonna let me miss out on it..."

He chuckles quietly.

"Tell me Sugar...what'd I do this time that got you so wet?"

You swallow, your face, throat and chest red.

"S...sorry, I should have..."

You start to apologize, Arthur's smirk was not making things any easier.

"You should have what, Sugar?"

"Should have asked..."

"Shoulda asked..."

He smiles and you feel the bed shift as he climbs onto the bed over you.

"You saw me out there, swinging the axe, watchin' my arms hmm? My chest...I know just how much you love my chest, you love my arms...Bet you were thinkin' about just how nice it'd be to have my hands on your throat..."

He grins, his hand gently gliding up over your breast, then over your collarbones and before you realize it his hand is around your throat.

"Thinkin' about just how good I pound you hmm? That toy ain't good enough...Might feel like me but it don't move like me."

You shake your head.

"No it doesn't...it's not as good as you Arthur..."

He smirks his other hand moving down, pushing your legs apart, though, rather than removing the toy like you expected, you watch as he grabs the base of it, and slowly pulls it out before slamming it back into you.

"I think I'll fuck you this way for a bit, hmm? Make you beg for the real thing."

"Arthur~"

"Mmm...you always sound so pretty when you moan for me like that Princess..."

He starts to pump the toy in and out of you, finding a pace as he hovers over you.

"This one must be your favorite yeah? Some...imitation of the real thing, the closest you can get when you can't get me...So desperate for my cock and you don't even bother to hide it...Bringin' that kit home...Tellin' me you needed me hard so you could make it..."

He smirks, shoving the toy back into you roughly once more, making you moan loudly.

"You remember that Sugar...remember how you made me sit there, hard while you made a copy of my cock, made me sit there, watch you put on a show so I could stay that way while the mold hardened....Remember just how well I fucked you after that?"

"I do..Ye..yeah..."

You breathe out quietly, remembering, exactly what he was talking about.

"Remember how good I had you screamin'? Yellin'; 'Arthur! Arthur! Oh God Arthur, don't stop!' had you beggin'..."

He keeps his pace going, pumping the toy in and out of you, listening as he drags more moans out of you, you feel like you're getting slicker by the minute.

"Arthur please...please-"

You whine, reaching your arms up and wrapping them around Arthur's still bare shoulders.

"Please what Darlin'?"

"I need you...Please I want you...not the toy I want you...please, please...please-"

You murmur over and over again, already you've seemingly become incoherent.

"Want me? Be more specific."

"Please I want the real thing..please Arthur, I want your cock, I want you inside of me, please~"

"Atta Girl..."

He grins widely, and you watch as he pulls the toy out, making you groan at the sudden loss.

He's quick to unbuckle his pants and shove them off.

His dick is already hard, and you can feel it against your thigh as he finishes getting his pants off.

He doesn't take his time, in fact he's lining himself up with your heat as quickly as he can.

You moan quietly as he slips in, it's not a huge difference, considering the toy was him, but the feeling wasn't the same, not when it was actually him.

He pushes all the way, until you're full up to the hilt, his heavy sack pressed against you.

"Arthur...Art..."

You mumble, moving your hands up over his chest, threading your fingers through the chest hair there, looking towards his happy trail.

"I know baby...I know...feels good don't it?"

You answer simply with a soft whimper and nod.

"You're so good to me Arthur..."

You manage.

"You're good to me Sweetheart, lettin' me be so deep inside you right now..."

He leans down and kisses the center of your collarbone as his hand tightens slightly around your throat.

He begins to rock against you, out, in, out, in.

It's slower at first, but it's not long at all before he's thrusting his cock deep inside you at a pace that makes you scream.

"That's it Princess...make the neighbors hear it, who's fuckin' you good?"

He growls in your ear, his face a massive, shit eating grin.

"You Arthur, you!"

"Good Girl."

"I am, I am, I'm a good girl, yours Arthur, your good girl-"

You ramble on as he pounds into you, a hand on your throat the other on your hip, his pace relentless.

"Lookatchu... look at those fuckin' thighs...God I love those..."

He squeezes your hip, then moves his hand to your thigh, grabbing it tightly.

"You were any smaller I don't think I'd like this as much...Love the way you look like this, beggin for me, ramblin' on like you don't know who you are, those thighs of your hooked around me..."

You moan as he continues to talk, your legs doing just as he describes, hooking his legs around him.

"Perfect shape...love how soft you are...makes fuckin' you so much better."

You lean up, shoving your face against his neck, kissing him there, trying to keep the moans at a minimum.

Arthur's pace never stops, a wicked smirk on his face every time you call his name.

Pretty soon you feel your stomach tensing, that pleasure building up in your heat, and like a sudden burst you're squeezing around him, shaking as your thighs close around his hips.

His name slips through your lips as you feel his hips begin to get erratic, the pace changing up.

"Fuck...Princess...Princess....I'm...shit..."

"Fill me up Arthur...Please, I want it, give it to me, I want it..."

"Christ woman..."

Arthur groans deeply as his hips stutter and he presses his forehead to yours a cacophony of groans and moans leaving his lips, your name too as you feel the warmth of his seed against your inner walls.

The two of you breath heavily for a moment, eyes closed.

Arthur chuckles quietly and smiles.

"Ask next time Sweetheart...'specially if I'm home."

"Yes sir."

"Atta girl."

[radiofreederry]

US Presidents as Dril Tweets

George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts

James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"

John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!

Martin Van Buren: Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Candles $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good

John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom

Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying

Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...

Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"

Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now

Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark

Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site

Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc

William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*

Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me

Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals

Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud

Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume

Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"

Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups

Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right

Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again

Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT

Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,

George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,

Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line

Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME: I agree

Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm

[witchthewriter]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞.

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

Warnings: swearing, some fighting - all in your honour though!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

After a long day, your s/o decides to take you to a nearby tavern and have a drink. It had been a while since either of you had gotten out without a duty to do. However, your evening was cut short when a drunken asshole insulted you.

𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍

・Merlin would never be able to keep such a big secret from his spouse; he'd want to give every part of himself to you. And so he had. You welcomed the secret with open arms.

・So when you made your way down to the tavern after a particularly challenging day, you were not expecting to be outright insulted.

・The bald fat (toothless) man let the words escape his drunken mouth without the hint of a thought of consequence.

・Big motherfucking mistake.

・A bewildered laugh came from Merlin. His mind already sifting through the many spells he was about to use.

・You looked at him, and simply nodded. This day had been too heavy, and the insult, no matter how untrue, was still hurtful.

・'Out of nowhere' (as some patrons would later explain it), the man flew from his chair and landed in the lap of the burliest man there.

・Strong man was furious and as he looked down, anger rose within him (you could physically see it ... he turned red...)

・Without even lifting a finger, your hater had been punched, and kicked straight out of the tavern. Not before Merlin made him land in a pile of dung.

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐓

・When your honour is in question Lancelot does not play around.

・As he hears the insult, automatically, his head moves to the left, and he blinks once.

・Without a word he unsheaths his sword and waits for the low life to do the same.

・When the low life doesn't, Lancelot makes someone give him a sword, and drags him outside.

"I'm going to make you think twice before saying such filth."

・And the high pitch ring of steel on steel rang out in the air.

・The whole time your head was in your hands, because truly, you had heard worse. You were tough, and all you wanted to do was get a bit sloshed with your hot ass husband.

・But no, he insisted on fighting for your honour ... like he always does.

・And low and behold, the Knight of Camelot won.

"Are you alright, my love?" Lancelot's lips were pressed against your ear, and you nodded.

"You know you don't have to do that for me-"

"Oh I know," he replies quickly, giving you a half smile. "But you are my spouse. And I will always protect you."

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐑

・Scoffs, a smirk on his lips as his eyes narrow on the idiot who insulted you.

"Do you know who I am? Well... I guess not. Someone with a brain would never insult the King nor his Queen/Consort"

・Gasps were heard around the tavern

And the man went as pale as Gaius' hair

"Ah, I see you've figured it out. Thought I might have to spell it for you."

"Oh Arthur," you scolded, bumping his shoulder.

・You had heard it all in your lifetime, and one day you decided that the words of sheep do not affect a tiger.

"What would you like me to do with him, my love? The dungeons? The stocks?"

・You watched as the man quivered. He would have been in his mid-twenties, barely a whisker on his chin.

"Hmmmm," you pretended to think. Your mind already made up. It was a silly little comment, from a silly little boy.

・Arthur knew you too well, his gaze turned stern on the young man. A rusted sword hanging on his hilt. He had begun to shake.

"I think we should leave him be. Maybe he won't let his tongue wag so freely."

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋

"Excuse me? What was that?"

・Percival instantly shot up from his seat at the table. The candle flickered as he did so, and you reached out to steady it.

"Perci, it's fine, really." You mumbled, not wanting to draw more attention to yourself. But one of the positives of having such a huge husband is that he will win against nearly anyone in a fight.

・Well, most of the time, men are too scared to even fight him.

・As was your insulter.

・Whose bravado slowly diminished as he watched the large Knight loom over him.

"What I- what I meant was-"

"Apologise."

"Sorry, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean it!"

"Now leave."

"Yes, yes of course!"

・You were actually impressed by the cowardice of this man. He didn't put up one ounce of a fight. Just followed exactly what Percival said.

"Thank you," you whispered, a smile appearing on your face.

"No. Never thank me. I will always stand up for you."

𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐀𝐍

・A raise of his eyebrow, and a turn of the head. A cold, intimidating demeanour washing over him. Elyan noticed the clean face, shining armour and coat of arms on the man's cloak.

"Say that again. I dare you." His voice was a growl; low and rumbling.

・The man, no, knight, did not shrink or apologise.

"Oh what a match. The marred and the deaf. A great pair-" the knight turned around and laughed with his men.

"Mmm." Elyan looked at the arse like a snake deciding on dinner.

・Your hand itched to grab the dagger at your waist, but Elyan knew you too well.

・Looking at you, he put a hand on your arm and slightly nodded his head. I want to handle this, his eyes said.

・Folding your arms, you took a step back, 'be my guest,' you answered with a smile.

𝐆𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄

・Aggressive asf

・Doesn't even ask who said it first, he just throws himself at anyone and everyone who laughs

・Absolutely punching and kicking, grabbing heads and banging them together.

・You shake your head but join in, because that's part of the reason Gwaine loves you. You never let him have all the fun.

・And you would never let anyone talk crap about you. Especially to your face. That's not the reputation you wanted to hold.

・But who knew brawls could be romantic? With Gwaine somehow they are...

・Especially when he holds a man down so you can give him a few punches, Gwaine smiling at you.

"That's my girl/that's my guy"

・But it's not like you're allowed into many taverns anymore

・Only when Arthur, the King is there, that you're allowed to enter.

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍

・Instantly his nose flares, invisible steam streaming from them.

"Apologise. This instant."

"Ooohooo," was the only reply he got. Along with the awful sound of drunk men's laughter. Well, more like coughing and wheezing.

"I'll ask one more time. After that, you'll be on the ground."

・The men barely looked in your husbands direction. Big mistake...

・Leon moved to block your view of what he was about to do.

・Because his word was truth.

・Within a second, the man who insulted you was on the floor, nose broken and bleeding.

・Once he's sorted it out, Leon turns to you and holds out his arm for you to take.

"Are you alright my love?" His concern falls on you and doesn't leave until you're feeling better.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Public Figures AU

The fantastic and very fuckin funny @sunnylolli reminded me of my own au where the countries are public knowledge and people have known about them for a while.

In my au the countries have been public knowledge forever. In my humble opinion it's very hard to hide immortal being from humans. There would be too many questions, too many stories and too much effort in hiding such a thing. The public is used to them and treats them like any B-list celebrity

ALFRED IS MADE FOR THE SPOTLIGHT! That boy is so comfortable in the spotlight its actually an issue. He posts so regularly on social media that one could consider that one of his hobbies. Being that famous of course, he can't really work for NASA or have a normal engineering job (like in my regular universe) so he has a big social media presence. Be that instagram, twitter, tiktok, youtube or even twitch.

Alfred streams on twitch with Gilbert. They play some FPS and talk about some historical event completely unrelated to the game.

Arthur has a personal instagram account where he only posts pictures of his garden, his books an his kids. Every once in a while he posts a picture of Zee or Jack while they were younger during the victorian era in those frilly dresses and one of them will just be like: "dad delete this or im rebelling"

Arthur is active on facebook and so is Francis

Francis only follows cooking channels, fashion blogs and philosophical content. He constantly endorses brands and takes part in commercials for Vogue, LV, Dior... He is a sort of sponsor/face for some brands and is asked to promote them online. You'll see his face in every third magazine and fashion articles follow him on a regular basis.

Matt is the one who avoids the spotlight the most. He will answer interview questions and do a QnA on tv or youtube but will hybernate for the rest of the year afterwards. He is also the one who is most secretive about where he lives. De has a huge fear of doxing himself and wants more than anything to keep his privacy. In my universe Matt is still a doctor and has a clinical doctorate in medicine but can't work as one due to being a sort-of celebrity. That's why he still gives lectures on college campuses and publishes papers regularly but doesn't work in any clinic or hospital.

Smaller countries have an easier time with fame and being public knowledge. They can walk around in their own countries on the street and pass of as a normal human being while, for example, Alfred has a harder time doing the same. Being himself, he is lucky he hasn't doxed himself yet and doesn't have paparazzi follow him from his home to work.

There are some meetings held by personifications that are broadcasted to the world to see and people online make compilations of cringe and funny moments during those meetings. (That would be my fat ass in that au)

"10 minutes of Francis being himself at the UN" the youtube video

Countries are often asked to help and aide with the makings of history books and are often cited as a source at the end.

Countries are legal citizens and have rights. Not all rights but the ones that the do have include: right to life, right to freedom from torture and inhumane treatment, the right to equal treatment before the law, the right to privacy, the right to freedom of thought (religion, opinion and expression), the right to work, the right to education, the right to social services... While not having certain rights like the right to marry but all the while having a right to have a family.

Gilberts diaries are considered a valid source of historical information unfortunately for us

I have so many more hcs for this au holy shit