#as if that isn’t the real royal wedding of the century

[savagegood]

enemies to lovers? and they were teammates - and roommates? men’s sports have nothing on women’s sports

and this particular guy... cry harder (imagine if women's sports had the funding, visibility and accessibility men's sports are gifted):

[minecraftbookshelf]

ok so I know you’re writing and probably already thought of this but I’m case you didn’t: the differences in elven courting rituals and oceanic courting rituals, specifically when it comes to wedding gifts. if you have thought about this feel free to ignore but the way I see it

elves live a while,and probably know about the arranged marriages a decent amount of time before they happen, so in between wedding planning and normal life each half of the marriage is planning some extravagant amazing wedding gift like gardens of gold or giant tapestries and stuff like that

meanwhile ocean/swamp folk who don’t live as long probably have more personal gifts, even in arraigned marriages bc they’re still getting to know each other! but either way the gifts are more personal and specifically tailored to the other half

so keeping track we have Scott, panicking bc he has like zero time to plan a wedding and learn a language and make a wedding gift and so the necessary things for life in however little time he has, Jimmy, panicking bc he doesn’t know anything about scott, no one he knows knows anything about scott, and even when they finally meet scott isn’t exactly an open book! so Jimmy is trying to do the same things as scott (tjough his doesn’t need to be as extravagant) in addition to finding out who the hell he’s getting married to and also ruling a kingdom

AND (you thought I was done NO the adhdemons love this concept and filled the no-box fan void with fictional politics) you have Lizzie, Joel, Xornoth, and Iona, who also had to get gifts for each other

first I need you to know that I saw your url and had the immediate gut reaction of "oh same hat!" XD

Anywho

So courting traditions in general:

I don't have too much set in stone currently, lots of ideas and concepts though, because I'm half shaping the story around it and half shaping it around the story, because writing be like that (rip) but I do have a few things.

Rivendell is basically just Tolkein's elves partly isekai-ed into minecraft, lets be real. So I've yoinked the tradition from there of the bride-to-be's family gifting a jewel (usually of magical or historical or familial importance) to the groom-to-be as a sort of pre-dowry. Only because heteronormativity does not exist here it is usually a mutual exchange of gifts. Tapestries and other labor and skill intensive textile arts also play a role because of the importance of textiles in Rivendell culture (see the ask that I'm answering after this one for more details on that) And there is also just a general idea of "a demonstration of what you are bringing to the table" for the actual wedding exchange. Like the most intense and stressful art show where both your entire extended family and also your significant other/others's extended family will be judging it. (Exact form of art varies depending on the skills and interests of the elf in question; culinary, poetry, musical, metal working...the list goes on)

The Swamp has fewer actual universal traditions. Due to their recent (past few centuries) history they are basically two nations that mixed and mingled and also include a few different diasporas interspersed within them. Jimmy himself tends towards more Oceanic traditions, which include things like feats of bravery and provision. This will go both exactly as well as you think it will and genuinely very well. (Oceanic traditions tend towards dramatic and grand gestures and statements. Ability to protect and provide is a huge thing both in the Ocean and the Swamp.)

Also Jimmy absolutely panics and ends up asking a good dozen random citizens for advice.

You also have the added layer of this specific instance being an arranged marriage (which isn't especially unusual) between two empires (which is wildly unusual at their social level) That custom is, in fact, purely an Oceanic one. (Which is why Joel and Lizzie were the previous example)

Most/all of the other Empires don't tend to intermarry their royals because enough Empires don't use familial succession models that it renders it fairly unstable as an alliance technique. There's more context for the Oceanic take on it but that is a whole nother post/will be in the fics explicitly.

The point of all this is that both parties are kind of stressed and trying to figure out how to compromise/accommodate while not really having a fully applicable framework for this situation (on Rivendell's part.)

Rivendell barely has interacted with the other empires for generations let alone married them.

Xornoth and Iona actually had it fairly easy, outside figuring out how to navigate the religious minefield that is Xornoth's entire existence. It was a very matter of fact, business like courtship that Scott and Iona ran with all the stringent focus of a military operation (which it basically was) and not even Xornoth's tendency towards chaos could really do much in the face of that.

In the context of like, personal gifts Joel and Lizzie actually got off really easy because by the time they got married-married they'd technically been married for several years already.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

What should we make of the high book sales and high viewerships on the interviews? Is that a positive reception? I can’t tell what the rest of the country thinks tbh

It’s interest because there’s a lot of hype and drama.

Guys, I don’t mean to be scoldy, but we go through go this with every single one of their pr cycles. They come out strong with hype and drama and everyone gets nervous that maybe this time it will work, and it never does. It worked up until the wedding, and it’s been downhill ever since. True it’s been a very slow downhill climb, but that’s because the royal family basically gifted them millions of dollars of institutional and symbolic capital that they had accumulated for more than a century, and it has taken years to erode that.

Just chill. Fergie’s plantar warts memoir was also a bestseller. If Harry’s burn book weren’t a bestseller it would mean that the royal family’s biggest contemporary scandal had no drawing power, which would be real bad for the royal brand. It’s all good.

This isn’t aimed at you, particularly anon. I just have a lot of panicky asks right now, which I find really weird because I feel this memoir rollout is as positive for the family as it could possible get, all things considered.

[royalpain16]

INSIDE THE SOTHEBY’S PLATINUM JUBILEE TIARA EXHIBITION

07.31.2022 by THE COURTJEWELLER

Earlier this summer, Sotheby’s in London mounted a truly special exhibition of tiaras, featuring royal and aristocratic pieces alongside more modern examples. Several of our lucky readers were able to visit the exhibition and see the tiaras in person, and today, I’m honored to share some photos taken by our lovely reader Phyllis!

Phyllis has generously shared a selection of her photographs, plus some of her observations about the exhibition. She notes that the presentation techniques used by Sotheby’s to present some of the diadems was truly ingenious: “The tiaras are either in cases where you can walk around 360 degrees and see them from all sides or are along the walls in niche cases. The tiaras in the niche cases actually float up and down and also spin, I spoke with a Sotheby’s employee about this and evidently the wall niches, which are actually secure vaults, use a patented technology to suspend and spin the tiaras. There are no strings! I think it must use air pressure changes to do this….it’s really cool.”

Here are two interesting tiaras are paired in a single case. The top sparkler is the Westminster Halo Tiara, made by Lacloche in 1930 for Loelia Ponsonby, the third wife of the 2nd Duke of Westminster. Sotheby’s notes that the tiara was designed “as a halo to be worn over the crown of the wearer’s head and extending outwards in the manner of a traditional Chinese headdress,” adding that it was “originally set with the Hastings and Arcot diamonds, now replaced with smaller diamonds, [and] flowers.

The second, smaller tiara in the display is a simpler silver bandeau-style tiara that dates to ca. 1920. Sotheby’s describes the jewel as “as an openwork bandeau of foliage and flowers, set at the centre with a cabochon emerald and with circular-cut sapphires and pink sapphire within the centres of the flowers.

One of the most famous tiaras displayed in the exhibition was the Spencer Tiara, which we discussed at length here on the site a few days ago. It was made in 1937 for the Countess Spencer using a set of nineteenth-century ornaments, and it was most famously worn by Diana, Princess of Wales. Sotheby’s calls the tiara “one of the most famous diadems in modern history.” (It’s tough to disagree with that statement!) Phyllis shared that “it was a real thrill” to see the tiara in person, and that it was a highlight, along with another very important royal jewel, Queen Victoria’s Emerald and Diamond Tiara.

I really love the photo that Phyllis took of the Rosebery Tiara. Her image shows the intense sparkle of the diamonds so clearly! Made in France ca. 1878, this tiara was given as a wedding present to Hannah Rothschild, the richest women in Britain, by her new husband, the 5th Earl of Rosebery. Sotheby’s explains that the tiara is “comprised of ornate scrollwork and foliate detailing in a graduated sequence of crescents within which large collet stones are set and flanked by foliate scrolls issuing stylised lilies, with a band interspersed with square and lozenge stones, set throughout with diamonds.”

Phyllis explained that she “loved seeing these tiaras in 360 views because the frames and attachments are just as interesting as the front views.” She added, “Most of them have detachable brooches and/or can be worn as necklaces. The mechanics used vary quite a bit from one tiara to the next and all are utterly unique. Some brooch backs have pin back attachments like modern jewelry but the older ones have spikes and clips.

Here are two more tiaras that shared a case in the exhibition. (It’s so fun to think through the reasons that the curators paired up certain sparklers, isn’t it?) The top tiara is a diamond waveform tiara made by Cartier in 1904. Sotheby’s describes it as “a wreath of twinned sprays of leaves, set throughout with brilliant-cut diamonds, with pendant larger diamonds to suggest flowers, detachable into four brooches, accompanied by brooch fittings.”

The lower tiara is also a Cartier creation. Made in the 1920s, it’s a bandeau-style tiara set with diamonds, amethysts, sapphires, and onyx. Sotheby’s explains that the tiara, which was made in the firm’s Paris atelier, has a “geometric openwork design, set throughout with circular-cut diamonds and three large faceted buff-top amethysts, with cabochon sapphire and onyx panel accents.” You can see this one sparkling in motion on the Sotheby’s website as well.

I love this dramatic photograph of the Derby Tiara, made around 1890, likely by Skinner & Co. This tiara has a fraternal twin: the Devonshire Diadem, made by the same firm in 1893. The Derby is slightly smaller than the Devonshire; Sotheby’s notes that the Devonshire version “features 13 palmette motifs,” while the Derby “is smaller and bears 11 palmette motifs.” Though Sotheby’s attributes the construction of the tiara to Skinner, the piece resides in a fitted Carrington & Co. Case.

Placed below the Derby Tiara is an unusual, asymmetrical tiara made ca. 1820: the Fitzwilliam Tiara. Sotheby’s explains that this early example of nineteenth-century tiara design is in “naturalist taste, designed as a long spray of flowers, leaves and buds forming a half circle, the front surmounted by crossed leafy stems centred and flanked by flowers.” The tiara is “detachable to be used as earrings and a brooch, [and] set throughout with cushion-, pear-shaped and circular-cut diamonds, with a back chain for converting the tiara as a necklace.” It’s fascinating to see the “bones” of the tiara’s construction in Phyllis’s photo.

Here's a tiara in one of the “floating” cases described by Phyllis. Sold in an auction at Sotheby’s in 2021, this golden diadem was made by Jacques-Ambroise Oliveras ca. 1805. By family tradition of the longtime owners, the Lascelles family, the tiara and its coordinating jewels belonged to Empress Joséphine of France, perhaps gifts from her sister-in-law, Caroline Bonaparte Murat. Sotheby’s has published a lengthy essay on the provenance of the tiara and its connection to Joséphine and Caroline.

And finally, we’ve got another set of jewels that particularly intrigued Phyllis: a turquoise and diamond tiara and necklace made in the 1960s by Van Cleef & Arpels. Sotheby’s notes that turquoise jewels like this suite were inspired by designs from India. And Phyllis shares even more information with us: “Another thing I learned is that the turquoise tiara has never been worn, only the necklace has been worn and just one or two times. Gem quality turquoise is a soft stone that discolors easily from body contact, hence these turquoise pieces being rarely or never worn. The uprights on that tiara also are removable and can be attached to the necklace as pendants, I think at the ‘flower base’ motif.

[crescentcampbell]

Royal Ravka U excerpt

Aleksander turned around to see where she was. “Alina?” she had paused in front of a painting.

He smiled when he saw it. It was a painting of the two of them. Thousands of lives ago. Once, he had managed to marry her. She’d agreed to be his Queen and then…then it had all turned to shit. He had tracked down the old painting and had it hanging proudly on the wall of his loft.

            Alina looked regal beside him. He was dressed in a kefta of black and gold, while she wore a dress in gold and black. She looked from the painting back to Aleksander.

            “This is real,” she said.

            He nodded.

            “That…that was us?” Alina said.

            “Yes,” he said, “centuries ago, we attempted to rule Ravka together. It…didn’t last. The timeline reset.”

            “Why?” Alina said.

            “That, I still couldn’t tell you. I’ve gone over that timeline a million times in my head. We were so close…then, on the night of our wedding, you suddenly decided to run away. The timeline started over again.”

            “If the timeline started over, how does this painting still exist?” Alina asked, with a tilt of her head. “By all rights, everything else should vanish too shouldn’t it?”

            Aleksander shook his head. “I’m not entirely sure. The magic around the curse that surrounds us wants us to be together and it’s almost like it…it wants us to remember the good things.”

            “And why do you keep your memories and I don’t?”

            “Because,” said Aleksander, “this isn’t your punishment. This is mine. It was designed to torture me.”

            “Then why even tell me at all?”

            “Until I figure this out, everyone else is stuck here with me. At first, I had no problem with that. There were a few centuries that I spent playing around and doing nothing just to see how long I could make it without the timeline resetting. But in those times, I didn’t get to have you, and it nearly killed me. I always wind up coming back to you. If I could explain it, I would.”

            Alina blinked and turned away. Aleksander could see the embarrassment on her face. He had played this game a million times before. This version of Alina…. she barely knew him. “You don’t know me. You’ve got to stop saying things like that.”

            Aleksander crossed the small space between them. “I have lost you too many times to do anything by halves, Alina. If I have to live a million lives just to be with you, then so be it.”

            She took a deep breath. “Very bold, Professor Morozova.”

            He chuckled. “Come on. Let me show you to your room.”

            There was a brief flash of something like want in her eyes. Aleksander thought of saying something suggestive, but decided he wouldn’t press. Last time, he had pressed too hard. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

            This time, it would be their forever.

[gigslist]

The Markle Debacle

Was trying to keep my gob shut out of respect for the English royal family. My family are not so distant cousins, from New Zealand. Yet it’s become obvious this is a wonderful learning opportunity for you my wonderfully weird GigListers. If it’s not weird it’s not different. If it’s not different, it’s not original. You gals and guys, and undecided, are weird and that’s what I love. 

Oh goodness where do I start? I’m writing as I think. My ALister and royal friends will know what I’m talking about. There’s a couple of items that crossover with A-list and royals. Apart from both are forms of monarchies, one inherited and one by clicks. 

AList are not only chosen for talent and popularity. The same as a person is not a “royal” because of who they marry. AList and royals go though many years of training and practice. Since they’re little kids or teens in many cases. Since little kids for all real royals. 

Regarding royal titles. My blood rank is higher than Harry’s mum. I’m from Prince Philip’ side, Harry’s grandad. Which makes me a duchess without a duchee. AKA I have the training, community work resume and title, but without a small country of my own to look after. “Look after” is the key phrase. Royals don’t rule people, they look after their people. That’s how it’s aways been since before recorded history. 

Anything from Hollywood is fake news, start with that, since the 1920s. Hollywood started with a political agenda and ideology. People are writing history books with it like it’s real history. And it’s biting today’s industries and all levels of society, religion and culture on the arse. The stuff people need to exist and be happy. People today are wondering why history books don’t make sense navigating to today. It’s because history books today are fake.

Royals’ real job is to make sure there’s enough good farmland for food. And make sure the government in place are trained properly and aren’t being assholes. Royals invented and pay for hospitals, schools, animal shelters, social services and community centers and pay for security to keep their people safe. From their own pockets, often sending themselves broke. Even in the 21st century. 

    If it weren’t for royals, you’d all be living in mud huts with mass disease and scavenging for food. No medical doctors or cars or wifi or movies or light bulbs or washing machines. No museums or public arts, no police or ambulance or rescue teams to call for help. Study real history to disprove it.  

There’s a reason why monarchists wear elaborate hats on group outings, such as public events with royals and weddings. It’s for everybody to be able to wear a tiara and feel equal with royals.

Sharron Osbourne got asked about the Markle Debacle in an interview recently. Her answer the most eloquently modern. Sharron’s my inspiration for writing this piece. In as many words my beloved show biz heroine, Sharron Osborne, said “Some people can’t handle money or fame.”  

San Francisco was built by royals and wealthy gold industry and agriculturalists. Moving film was invented here. Somebody else bought the technology and moved to Hollywood for cheap rent. Hollywood expects you to look Hell wealthy, at least for looks, to impress San Francisco and New York.

What makes a real ALister is grace and poise, calm and nice and being genuine and able to keep your shit together like a real royal.  Be professional! No diva attitude! Dress as much diva as you want, but don’t think you’re shit doesn’t stink like every other human being’s. Who wants to work with a self-entitled asshole? Certainly not AList producers and casting directors or international diplomats. Their time is money, big money, and sometimes people’s lives. Every producer, diplomat and casting director is on a schedule and not an unlimited budget, even the AList. 

A royal’s tantrum isn’t to get to wear a Tribes-people’s ancient and sacred ritual tiara. Why do you think everybody dresses up when they wear tiaras?  It’s an ancient sacred rite and part of recorded history. It’s not to be Princess Barbie. It really is an actual ancient tribal rite. Our tribe’s been around so long that the tiara’s and crowns developed from feathers and hand spun thread into diamonds, rubies and pearls. 

The jewels aren’t from invading other countries, but from international diplomacy. Important ritual gifts exchanged by monarchs of different countries to keep international peace and trade. They are treated as sacred to show respect for the country and people the jewels came from. Regardless of wars. Royals are not taught to be ideological, all people are equal. Royals an monarchies come in all colors and creeds.

The tiara  Markle Debacle insulted many millions of people from the countries the jewels came from. What fabulous adventures and inspirations to create a wonderful world are stolen from you! That’s just a snippet of how anything out of Hollywood is fake news. And also kind of predatory, stealing what’s the peoples’ for themselves. 

A real royal tantrum is to get real stuff done. Like getting a hospital re-opened and updated for mentally ill, disabled or elderly. Or advocating for eco friendly technology. Whenever you saw Her Majesty get upset, it was for real reasons. Not for clickbait!

Real royals don’t wear a theatre mask. They will put on a smile, but people are allowed to see behind the smile. Such as passing of a family member or friend. We saw it in Princess Kate. Princess Kate put on her best, but her people were allowed to see the … I don’t know how to say it. You saw the emotion of it it in her eyes. Holding back real tears. From a classical portrait artist’s perspective, that can’t be faked. Especially not for days of being out with their people. (I trained at Heatherlys in London UK. Specialists in life drawing, fine details of humans.) 

Royals don’t go out and greet the people and do selfies for charities to get a salary. Public royals are trust fund babies or have day jobs. They start doing community work when they start day school. They work for their people for mostly free for life, until actual death, because they love their people. They can opt out anytime, gutsy real royals don’t. It’s the toughest job in the world, but real royals don’t play victim. 

If you can’t handle the role you’re cast for, bitching about it won’t do you any favors. Certainly no favors in London, Paris, New York or San Francisco. The tribe’s sacred royal tiara incident was totally gutter, racist and unethical. Read Dr King’s full speech. Royals traditionally lose their titles when they marry non-royals. The British royal family were being modern, but look what happened!

 If you don’t know how to handle it, you can’t handle it. Bow out gracefully and go back to acting and etiquette school and read the 8 Beutitudes from the Bible. Stop doing damage to yourself and others, including disrespecting your own ancient heritage.

In Australia just about everything is trying to kill you, including the cute stuff. You know what one of Australia favorite poems is? 

I love a sunburnt country

A land of sweeping plains

Of rugged mountain ranges

Of drought and flooding rain

I love her far horizons

I love her jewel sea

Her beauty and her terror 

The wide brown land for me

Dorothea Mackellar’s poem, “My Country,” published 1908 as “Core of My Heart” in The Spectator in London. On a visit to England, Dorothea was 23 and homesick and wrote her ode to Australia. How she loved her country and her people so much, she’d endure danger, fear and hardship for them. 

Dear Delete Negative Megan Markle News team. One of GigsList’s long time followers and personal friend and festival coworker is an entertainment lawyer of big projects. He’s now a court judge. So go for it baby cheeks! GigsList is from San Francisco, a city and big bay of fabulously crazy and weird and fearlessly independent creators, founders and real talent. When one stands down, another stands up. Also my audience are all influencers in their own right. Everybody has followers here!

Only top shelf for my GigLister people <3

Deborah

Photos: The Crown Chronicles https://thecrownchronicles.co.uk

I didn’t gramma check. The poem keeps making me emotional.

[gracie-bird]

Show business royalty: ‘Josie & Grace’ explores friendship between Baker and Kelly.

In September 2020, the Morris Museum mounted an outdoor production of “Josephine: A Burlesque Cabaret Dream Play,” starring Tymisha Harris as singer, dancer, actress and activist Josephine Baker. And this weekend — producing an indoor play for the first time since the start of the pandemic, at its Bickford Theatre — the museum is once again presenting Harris as Baker, in “Josie & Grace: A Mostly Historical Cabaret Dream Play.”

This isn’t a prequel or a sequel. “Josie & Grace” offers a complementary view of Harris, focusing on her longtime friendship with Grace Kelly, the Academy Award-winning actress who married Prince Rainier III of Monaco and became a princess. While the first play told the story of Baker’s entire life, from childhood, this one shows her only from the early ’50s (when she was already an established star) through the end of her life in the mid-’70s. But like that play, it gives a sense of her struggles and triumphs, and showcases Harris’ ability to sing in a commanding, Baker-esque style.

Kelly is first shown as an aspiring, little-known actress, attending a performance by Baker in New York. She is really just a star-struck fan. But after Baker storms out of her after-show dinner at the Stork Club, infuriated because of the poor service she receives as a black woman, Kelly leaves, too, and the two strike up a friendship.

Harris said after the show — onstage, after taking her bows — that the show is still in its workshop phase. Its biggest current flaw, I think, has to do with the next part of the show. Baker and Kelly, in their next scene together, are shown as fast friends. Beyond mentioning that Kelly had become successful as an actress (and had had affairs with some of her leading men), the play doesn’t really show how they got from Phase 1 (Baker’s a star and Kelly, 23 years younger, is a show-business neophyte) to their warm, sisterly Phase 2.

In any event, the good vibes don’t last for long. The relationship is strained when Baker is not invited to Kelly’s royal wedding. They remain estranged for years, writing polite letters but not actually seeing each other.

But they do eventually reconcile, and Kelly explains that since Baker had been “branded” a communist by the press, Rainier couldn’t afford, politically, to invite her. Baker remains suspicious, though, that racism had something to do with it, and is angry at Kelly for not taking a stand.

Kelly notes that she is always sitting back while Baker is always charging forward, which seems about right; Kelly may be a real princess, but it’s Baker who seems like a queen. (On the other hand, Kelly has a bit of a rebellious streak, too, which helps to explain why she idolized Baker in the first place.)

Baker lets bygones stay bygones, though, and they remain friends. Kelly even provides financial support for Baker, who has developed a desperate need for it. Their bond remains strong for the rest of Baker’s life.

As in “Josephine: A Burlesque Cabaret Dream Play,” Harris exudes diva-like charisma as Baker. Joining her and Comeau in the cast is Stephen Lima, who is never seen but is heard as several characters, including Rainier, Alfred Hitchcock (who directed Kelly in three films) and Kelly’s father.

Songs include the anthemic “Non, je ne regrette rien” (“I Regret Nothing”); catchy 20th century gems such as “I’m Feeling Like a Million,” “I Can’t Get Started” and “True Love”; and Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are a-Changin’ ” (which Baker did, in fact, sing, and which was also featured in “Josephine: A Burlesque Cabaret Dream Play”).

Aradhana Tiwari directed, and Michael Marinaccio and Tod Kimbro (who worked on “Josephine: A Burlesque Cabaret Dream Play” as well) are credited with the concept, story and script. Kimbro also wrote the play’s two original songs.

In the show’s program, the creative team notes that not much is really known about the friendship between Baker and Kelly beyond that it was deep and long-lasting. To their credit, they have created a play about it that rings true, and certainly seems consistent with everything we know about Baker.

Source: NJ Arts.

Tickets available on this link.

[esther-dot]

Targaryen inbreeding is problematic in more than one way:

1. The blood purity angle is meant to be disturbing to modern readers. After the eugenics of the early 20th century and the Nazis, there is no harmless way to interpret that.

2. The practice of incest left other houses unsatisfied and concentrated power solely in the “royal” family, while leaving them isolated in a political sense. Although we know they married other houses in the past, the current generation, Viserys, Rhaeghar and D@ny are the product of a brother-sister marriage.

3. Even though GRRM has not been consistent with Westerosi genetics (it’s fiction, people), he has made it clear that inbreeding manifests in mental health issues and more importantly...fertility issues. Although we could assume Rhaego’s deformities were a result of Mirri’s magic, there were other monstrous births before Rhaego (see Fire and Blood), so this could be a genetic syndrome caused by inbreeding.

This is poised to be a huge political issue because you cannot hold power in Westeros without a clear uncontested succession as the War of the five kings proves. If D@ny wins the throne but fails to have children she will not be able to hold her her kingdom together and her dynasty dies with her.

(continuation of this convo)

Everything you said!

Point 1 is what stops me cold each time.

Point 2 came up a lot with the Habsburgs from what I saw in that the degree to which they practiced incest was so much more extreme than others they had their obvious physical problems, yes, but also the political issues both of which were present in the Targ history.

Point 3: I haven’t read Fire & Blood, but I’ve seen quotes and it seems to me that Martin is doing some of his…writing backwards there to explain Rhaego’s form. I don’t think that was Mirri’s doing because of what was described in F&B. I assumed that was meant to be the result of inbreeding as you suggest, but I know there’s been spec about Targs literally having blood of the dragon hence the babies having tails etc. I thought that was just Martin’s own way of writing a malformed fetus with a condition people had no explanation for at the time. It reminded me of the way people with a condition like hypertrichosis were described as werewolves, but I don’t read Targ stuff so I don’t know if that spec is based on anything.

The mental health issues concern me because I really hate the “mad queen dany” idea and prefer conquerer Dany. I thought in both the show and the books that Dany couldn’t carry a healthy pregnancy due to her family’s incest. I assumed that because it seems weird to me that Martin would write so much incest into her family history without it impacting the canon era Targ (her), and the idea that she believes Mirri cost her Rhaego, that she believes in the mystical explanation although there’s a physical/real world one…that seemed probable to me.

Pregnancy difficulties is such a sensitive issue I understand why it’s distasteful to people that it would factor into things, but Martin is using it here to say something, as distressful as it may be. It could be as generic as pointing out the futility of conquering. Robert did it and was miserable, it won him nothing. So perhaps it’s a necessary part of showing how all the fighting is futile. What was lost (Lyanna for Robert, or the glory of House Targ/her family for Dany) will never be returned, no matter how many victories you win. A lot of people have written about how Dany’s quest to conquer Westeros is ultimately self-serving, not only because it’s about her becoming queen, but because for most of the series now, she’s accepted that she can’t have children. It isn’t about House Targ because there is no future for them. If that is the takeaway we’re meant to have, embedding that into her story this way is clever as the entire situation from her wedding to losing her child was traumatic, so we view all of this through an emotional filter rather than stepping back and understanding the other reality of her situation. I assume this will all hit pretty hard when she gets to Westeros and when confronted with family, the potential for her conquest to mean something for House Targ, to actually achieve something lasting, will be before her, she will go ahead and kill Aegon anyway. ☹️

[celamoon]

Warnings: Beheading, love at first sight

Pronouns: She/her

Summary: The royal life is full of tricks, strings and flaws from ages ago, but there are still some strings that even the highest of nobles can't reach. Emperor Kusuo and Princess Y/n knew that better than anyone.

Saiki Kusuo was what many people would define as, a textbook king. He was prim, proper, and he didn’t talk to his subjects much, only listening to the messenger’s reports on what the people wanted. He was an emperor, but he felt much more like a king than anything else.

It wasn’t like Kusuo particularly wanted to be a textbook king, it was just that rumours go around quickly in the nobility and then to the commonfolk. He wasn’t allowed to leave the castle since he had psychic powers, and it was thanks to the same psychic powers that he had accidentally destroyed another empire in battle.

But it was also thanks to the same psychic powers that the actual heir to the throne ran away to start his own empire. His older brother swore that he would ‘out-king Kusuo’ and come back for revenge one day. The two kingdoms now rest in peace because of a treaty, and Kuusuke doesn’t do much other than manage his own affairs.

Kusuo’s parents had disappeared under mysterious circumstances years before any of this madness had occurred. He was crowned king a year ago, despite not having a queen by his side. His grandparents didn’t live long enough for them to see grandchildren, but they didn’t worry. The priest said that Kusuo would find himself a queen in no time.

No time became two years, and soon, the royal advisors were nagging at him to get himself a queen. They had even brought up the idea to have the king call in commoners to date, but Kusuo wanted none of that.

Then came princess Kokomi. Princess of Gardenia, the embodiment of perfection itself. Kusuo had taken one peek at her thoughts before he decided that he wouldn’t date her. Her kingdom would’ve gone to war over this, so the king agreed that he would open up applications, and that anyone who wished to become queen could submit an application. They would get one meeting with the king before a yes or a no was chosen.

News of this spread to other kingdoms, and soon, news of this reached the Sirius Kingdom. Among the listeners was the infamous princess Y/n. Though not as gorgeous as the princess of Gardenia, she was still an enigma. The title of princess was placed upon her head since a young age, and she was a princess of the people. The girl who listened to whatever complaint was placed.

“Good Morning Princess Y/n!”

“Good morning Princess!”

“Good morning Sato-san! Good morning to you too Suzumiya-san!”

“How’s the castle life so far Princess Y/n?”

“It’s been alright. I’m still trying to get mother and father to listen to the requests. I do hope that you are doing well today?”

Y/n was charismatic to the people, despised by the nobles. To them, royalty and the working class should not intermingle, and the nobles were noble because God had chosen them to be. Not because of the lies and tricks behind the curtains of perfection. Y/n had learned from a young age that perfection was not real, and that flaws were just hidden by money and wealth instead.

Perfection meant marrying a royal, and with the news of King Saiki searching for a queen, Y/n’s parents were quick to sign her up for it. It resulted in a rather large strain the family relationship, but no outsider needed to know that. The facade put up was for the public to see, and the royals to uphold.

“You’re selling me off!” Y/n screamed one particular evening at dinner.

“We are in no way selling you off. We are simply sending you to the Psi empire to see if they would accept you.” Her father booms. “Stop putting words in my mouth,”

“You are selling me off.” Y/n glares. “I don’t wish to marry a textbook king! If I’m marrying a man then I’m going to do everything at my own pace. I am no queen who will sit around while my people’s requests and complaints are ignored by the nobility and royals.”

“Y/n darling-“ Her mother tries.

“You have one month.” The king bellows. Y/n pulls on her gown and leaves the room. The outfit is quickly ditched in her room as she wanders through the passageways of the castle. She meets the exit soon, and she rushes outside, wiping off any traces of her royal blood. She runs, and ignores all the greetings as she reaches for the flower field in the outskirts. The field was behind a noble bar surprisingly enough, and information was always passed there. The girl messes up her hair and leans against the back door to the bar.

“Miss f/n,” The bartender nods, locking the door behind him. “The nobles wish to overthrow the royal family by marrying one of the noblewomen over to the Gardenia Empire,”

“Ah?” Y/n looked up from the ground. “Which noblewoman?”

“I believe they wish to marry over Madam Hinata to Prince Makoto,” the bartender nods.

“When do they start negotiating?” Y/n looks up.

“I believe they start tomorrow,”

“Alright, thank you kind sir,” She hands the bartender a bag of gold and wanders off. Even if she wanted to hate her parents, she was still their daughter. She may hate the castle, but it was her home, and she was taught to protect what mattered to her.

“Mizuki-chan grab me a horse from the palace, I want to leave this wretched place as soon as possible.” Y/n calls for her servant when she gets the animal, she hands the servant a letter.

“No one other than mother and father is to see this letter,” You slip her the letter, and then you’re gone.

The night breeze feels good on your skin. It feels like freedom, running away from your past, embracing your future. Y/n feels free, but her goal isn’t to run away, it’s to protect what was hers and to protect what will be the royal lineage’s. She had siblings, people, and a country in a corrupt noble’s hands was no better than a fragmented one.

The gates to the Psi Empire are huge. Y/n goes through several checks before she’s let in, and she continues riding until it’s early morning. She’s exhausted, but she isn’t allowed to rest until she arrives at the palace.

The crack of dawn arrives at the Psi Palace and Kusuo arises. His day runs as usual, but he’s met with a sudden emergency guest. His advisors suggest that he ignore them to continue his job, but the person’s thoughts are too much to handle and he would rather get it over with.

“Call the person over,”

Y/n wanders into the room, lifting her cloak off of her head. “Your highness,” she bows.

“… Princess Y/n…” Kusuo raises a brow. “You may rise. What brings you here to my empire?”

“King Kusuo,” Y/n nods. “The nobles in my kingdom are planning to overthrow my family from the throne. I come here to request help in repressing them.”

“Why should I help you?” Saiki raises a brow at her figure.

“My kingdom would prove to be an excellent allegiance with yours.” Y/n held her head high. “On top of that, I could be promised to you in exchange for your help. I may end up as your queen from this exchange.”

Saiki stares at the princess. She look bold, strong, yet small and kind. Her thoughts are kind, caring, and he can tell that she has the best for the commonfolk in mind. He thinks over whether or not his empire should get involved.

“However I must be honest your highness,” She bows lightly. “The nobles wish to marry off a noblewoman to Prince Makoto of Gardenia. While I have no doubts that your kingdom would be able to hold them off, I believe that it would be extra trouble making an enemy out of a kingdom that has the fairest princess in all the land.”

“I am aware,” Saiki nods. “How urgent is this matter?”

Saiki wants to turn her down, but there’s something about the fire in her eyes and the truth in her words that draws him in. He feels slightly sick thinking about all the lives that would be lost if he sent men.

“They start negotiating with the kingdom tonight,” Y/n responds.

“Will there be lives lost?”

“I can not promise that there will be none,” She shakes her head. “But I can promise that if action is taken early enough, the nobles will be repressed with minimum bloodshed. I wish not for my people to take part in a bloody civil war.”

Her words are genuine and Saiki nods. “I understand. Do you have a messenger bird at home?”

“I do,” The princess nods. “I would prefer to pass laws onto the nobles, but they hold a much higher number in the government than I would like. My only hope would be being wed to you, or perhaps crushing them by force.”

“Becoming a tyrant?” Saiki raises a brow. “Do you not believe in any other alternative?”

“Noblemen have been in power for centuries your highness. If the root of the issue is not removed, then the weeds will still continue growing.” Y/n nods. Saiki eyes the girl once more and smirks.

“Then how about a proposal? I’ll help in exchange for you by my side for eternity.” Saiki knows you’re desperate. He admires you for thinking about the number of lives potentially lost to a civil war, and he cannot think of another way that would benefit both his empire and your kingdom.

Y/n pauses to look at the emperor. “Then Emperor Kusuo, I would like to propose that we take it slow, and that I do not be touched in any way that would make me uncomfortable,”

“Then I shall announce you as my lover.” Saiki smiles. “With the announcement, a portion of the noblemen in your kingdom would start to doubt the plan, and eventually the root of the problem would be weeded out. Do I have your permission Princess Y/n?”

Y/n looks at his challenging gaze with one of equal ambition. “Of course your highness,”

The news of Princess Y/n of Sirius dating Emperor Kusuo reaches the ears of all the kingdoms at the same time. Y/n’s parents are elated, and they welcome Emperor Kusuo with open arms. The commonfolk are in ecstasy, their beloved princess marrying an Emperor.

The news reaches the Castle of Gardenia and Princess Kokomi throws a tantrum.

“How come the emperor didn’t decide upon me? I’m the perfect princess, and I’d make an even better queen!” She sobs, and her brother consoles her.

“I’m forming an alliance with the nobles in Sirius, we’ll take down the royal family and then I’ll force the emperor to submit to me and marry you,” Makoto smiles. Kokomi only sniffs and nods.

The Sirius kingdom is flourishing. Saiki and Y/n are taking it slow, but they’ve made significant progress relationship wise. The two have started going on walks, and Kusuo joined Y/n one afternoon in town. He’s surprised to find so many commoners crowd around her.

“Suzumia-san! How have you been?”

“Ah I got married recently! I’m Mrs. Sato now!”

“Sato?? That’s incredible!” You clasped your hands together and Saiki had smiled at you softly. You looked so pretty, so gentle. He could picture you as his queen.

The calm is always before the storm though. The noblewoman who was supposed marry Prince Makoto pulled on with the plan, and the two started discussing about the wedding.

“For the wedding, I would like for it to be grand. I wish for it to make a statement to the opposing empire,” The noblewoman smiles.

“Ah yes,” Prince Makoto smiled. “It shall make a statement to the other empire for sure,”

The day of the wedding is grand, there’s palace guards everywhere. Neither royal from the Psi empire make an appearance, and the noblewoman thinks she’s scared the other empire into preparing for war. The wedding itself throws the woman off guard though.

“Do you, Miss agree to the crime of treason?” There’s an evil glint in the pastor’s eyes and the Psi royal guards rush in. The family looks around in confusion.

“I applaud you for trying to take over and become queen, but unfortunately there are strings that you as a noble simply can’t pull.” Y/n walks down the aisle, wearing a pair of white trousers and a simple dress shirt. Their hair is styled, and they looked like any other palace guard.

“W-wha?”

“I applaud you for trying,” You smile. “You were mistaken to think that I wasn’t best friends with other princes and princesses,”

“Huh?!” The noblewoman looks around and both Teruhashi’s are smiling.

“I may be in love with the emperor, and my brother may despise him, but sometimes throwing innocent commonfolk into a war isn’t what we wish to do,” Teruhashi smiles.

An agreement had been reached last minute between the Kingdom of Gardenia and Sirius. Neither side would shed blood, and they would arrest the nobles and strip them of their titles. While Princess Kokomi had grown up with Princess Y/n, it was also only reasonable to not shed innocent blood. Besides, the Teruhashi’s were far relatives of the L/n’s.

“Alright now Princess Y/n, I would like to know what you’ll pay with,” Teruhashi grins playfully as she holds her hand out. She had dropped her facade in front of the princess ever since Y/n had exposed her for it.

“I’m not sure, how about I pay you with an invitation to the golden ball later this month?”

Teruhashi pretends to think before she grins. “Nope! I want your lover right there~”

Y/n gasps in shock and pretends to be offended. “I am not giving you my future husband!”

“You never know,” Kokomi grins teasingly.

The execution is the next day, the jury had unanimously decided that the nobles were committing treason thanks to Princess Teruhashi. The blood curling screams and mess created from the beheading didn’t seem to bother Princess Y/n much as she had expected it to.

The rest of the half of the month passes quickly, and soon it’s the golden ball. Y/n is in a f/c ball gown, and Saiki’s suit matches her outfit. The two spend the evening close to each other and Kusuo leaves her side for a moment.

“Your highness!” A commoner approaches her and she smiles. “Congrats on the engagement!”

“Engagement?” The princess tilts their head in confusion.

“Are you two not yet engaged?” The commoner looks confused before they gasp as they look behind her.

She hears more gasping around her. She looks around and finds her lover on the ground.

“Your highness-“

Saiki raises a brow in question at the name and Y/n corrects herself. “Kuu…”

“My darling Y/n, there would be no honour greater than to become your king and emperor. I can not think of myself with anyone else in this life, and I hope that we would last through all of our lifetimes together. From the day that I saw you, to this very second, I have never been more in love. My darling Y/n, will you marry me?”

Y/n’s eyes water and a bit of their makeup comes off. A choked out “yes” leaves their lips and Kusuo pulls the princess in for a hug. The girl feels bad for ruining her lover’s shirt but her tears don’t stop coming.

“I’ll love you for eternity,”

“As will I, your highness”

[justalarryblog]

Hey beca! How are you? Do you have any recommendations fic like hl already in relationships, mpreg harry, they struggle to have a baby? Or arranged married? That have 100k words above? Thanks

Hi anon, thanks for the message! I'm doing fine, I hope you are too. :)

The only one I have mpreg!Harry that they struggle to have a baby is this one:

I Hope You Dance by @wickedarcher_08 (83k) | Explicit

Louis and Harry have been struggling with infertility for over a year. After many failed attempts, they decide to seek a specialist, but they end up with more than they ever dreamed.

For mpreg!Harry that is +100k words, I have:

Say Something by @kingsofeverything​​ (105k) | Explicit

At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn’t interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life.

Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

I also have a tag for Mpreg fics in case you wanna check if there's any other to your liking.

For arranged married, I've read these:

Through Eerie Chaos by @mediawhorefics (102k) | General Audiences

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

Part 1 of Through Eerie Chaos

tastes like summer, smiles like may by @outropeace (47k) | Explicit

“Is this true?” Harry grabbed the beta by the shoulders. “Bryce, where did you hear that?”

“There’s rumors going around the castle,” he smirked. “stories about his beauty and his cold attitude. They know he is an omega only because of his scent, but he has never had a heat.”

“Do you know what this means?”

Bryce smirk grew into a big smile. “He can’t give you an heir.”

A cold prince, an alpha with nothing left to lose and a kingdom with a secret.

Praise the Mutilated World by @creamcoffeelou, @delsicle (106k) | Explicit

It was August when everything changed.

By October, the leaves changed, and so did Louis’ heart.

OR: An enemies to lovers dystopian au where Harry is an elite alpha and Louis is a rebel omega with too much to fight for. Every move made is monitored, and a fertile omega’s purpose in life is one thing: to give children to their alpha.

a dream is a wish your heart makes by orphan_account (22k) |Teen And Up Audiences

Fairytale retelling of Cinderella, where Harry is a servant boy who’s too kind, Louis is a prince in an arranged marriage, Liam is Harry’s step brother, and Niall is Louis’ dutiful grand duke.

Si Pudiera Volar by @softfonds (68k) | Explicit

When Harry’s fiancé leaves him for his cousin, he looks the other way for the sake of his happiness. He’ll do anything to forget about him, including joining a monastery. It isn’t until his cousin’s former lover, a pirate, appears that he realizes everything is not as it appears, and an honest pirate might be the only person worthy of his heart.

Or, a fic loosely based on Corazon Salvaje.

The Murmur of Yearning by @mediawhorefics (93k) | Mature

Four years ago, Harry Styles was forced into a marriage of convenience to enrich and ally both his and his promised’s families. The sudden, and slightly suspicious, death of the Marquess of Haxshire, however, brings great disturbance to Crescentfield Hall and, as his late’s husband’s closest male relative, Harry unexpectedly finds himself the head of a family he never felt he belonged to. Between a meddling distant cousin hellbent on inserting himself in Harry’s life, his wicked and mistrustful mother-in-law and his late husband’s advisors refusing to help or take him seriously, Harry struggles in the fight to keep what he’s earned and make the Estate finally feel like home.

Luckily, he doesn’t stand completely alone and finds himself an unlikely ally in Mr Tomlinson, the elusive Land Stewart who has been taking care of the property in the shadows for years. Louis Tomlinson is caring, patient, and unlike everyone else, he doesn’t seem to think Harry committed a murder.

the sanctity of patience by @scrunchyharry (22k) | Teen And Up Audiences

When young Lord Harry was chosen by King Louis of Bavaria to become his husband and prince consort, Harry thought all of his dreams had come through. His illusions came crashing down when he understood it meant living in isolation in the alpine castle of Neuschwanstein with a husband who turned out to be far from what he had hoped for.

His illusions vanished, Harry will have learn to appreciate what has and even, perhaps, fall in love with his imperfect husband and his castle.

Winter Pines and Ocean Eyes by @binarysunsets (14k) | Teen And Up Audiences

Harry is awoken by the sudden weight of his dog across his chest, and he yawns and stretches his arms above his head, relishing the crack of his back the gesture produces and sending Fen tumbling down onto the bed. There’s a niggling sensation that he has something important to do that day, but in his still-sleepy state he’s struggling to recall what it is. When it hits him, he freezes mid-rub of his eyes, and his hand slowly falls to the furs strewn across the bed. His fingers tangle into the fur and he bites his lip.

Right. It’s that day.

The day he’s meant to travel south.

Or, the arranged marriage au between young viking Harry, son of his clan’s chief, and a certain caesar by the name of Louis, heir to the empire.

Liberté by @larriebane(64k) | Mature

AU. 1647. “Pretending you don’t have a heart is not the best way to not get it broken. It’s just the easiest.”

Or the pirate AU I always wanted to write

Teenage Rebellion Never Worked Out So Well by @panda_bear21 (55k) | Not Rated

“I’m an adult!” He glanced down at Harry, who seemed anything but at the moment, where he was definitely on the brink of a temper tantrum. “We’re both adults!” Jay glanced to Anne again, before breathing out a heavy sigh. “Yes, but you’re both adults that do not have jobs and who live off of our money… Which means, you have to do what we say… or you’ll have to find a new place to live.” “You wouldn’t do that.” Louis dared, hoping his glare was enough to guilt trip his mother into calling the whole thing off. Or to tell them that it had all just been a huge joke and they weren’t actually being forced into marrying a complete stranger. “Oh, but we would.”

Or the super cliché arranged marriage fic where things escalate way too quickly.

infinitely all for me by @swallowsmateforlife (10k)| Explicit

The Alpha Louis’ been betrothed to since he was 14 has finally come of age and Louis’ been delivered to his home.

or: the one where they figure it all out

keep me safe, keep me sane, keep me honest by @hilourry (8k) | Explicit

Louis is the Prince of England. All past omega princes and princesses have been married and pregnant at age 18, so his parents arrange him to be married to Harry Styles, the royal family’s PR guy.

Sail Across Me by @iwillpaintasongforlou (21k) | Explicit

Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they're as pretty as this one.

London is well worth a mass  by @dolphinaaaa (93k) | Not Rated

Louis is an Omega prince of France. When he is 13, he is betrothed to Harry of England for politics. The wedding will seal the alliance between the two coutries. This is their story.

Please feel free to check my fic tags if you want to search for other fics! Happy reading, anon!

[krreader]

ensorcell | chapter 8.

pairing: prince!taehyung x reader  fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; prince!taehyung ;  arranged marriage ; language ; sex  genre: fluff ; angst ; smut word count: 2.7k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ; 6 ; 7

summary: it was funny, how meeting one single person could change your life forever. you were ordinary, he was not. he was rich, you were not. he fell in love with you and so did you. even though he was never supposed to.

a/n: i’m so sad I never get to update my originals as much as I want to, but I’m really happy when I do. especially with this one BECAUSE IT’S FINALLY SEXY TIME

It was on days like these that you were harshly reminded of not really belonging here.

It was on days like these that you realized that the girl struggling in college to get her degree and having frequent anxiety attacks due to the uncertainty of the future was the real you that you had left behind to play pretend. Because unlike some others, you were not cut out to play this game of royal intrigues that some seemed to excel in.

“You're mad.. aren't you?” the familiar voice would have made you turn around and smile a few hours ago, but now you kept your eyes firmly on the horizon and watched the sun set in the royal gardens while royal guards and maids were all around you, making sure that you were well taken care of.

Why, you might ask? Well, because they all thought you were carrying a royal heir, thanks to the man that now sat down next to you. When in reality, the only thing you were carrying was the weight of the lies that kept piling up.

“I'm not mad. I know why you did it,” when Taehyung let out a relieved sigh, you quickly added, “Doesn't mean I like what you did, though.”

“I had to say something. I've gotten so many inquiries about whether the rumors about Dae and me were true today, I knew the only way to make it stop was to say you were pregnant. A royal heir is the most precious thing a kingdom could have. You being pregnant will put an indefinite end to any possible other 'proposals' that my father could make.”

“But I'm not, Taehyung. I'm not pregnant. And I don't intend to get pregnant. Because in case you forgot, we've only been dating for a few weeks. Marrying is a big step after such a short amount of time, but having a baby?”

“I know,” he put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, brushing them over his tired eyes in desperation, “I thought it was the best solution at the time. I should have discussed it with you first, I'm sorry.”

It was a mess. A mess that would be hard to get out of, but at the same time, you really couldn't bring yourself to be angry with him. His father would have married him off to someone that he hated. He did it to ensure that the two of you could stay with each other. In some way, it showed you that he did it because, like his sister said, you meant a lot to him. And from the way he was acting now, a child hadn't been something that he had considered so early on either.

So at least you were on the same page in that sense.

Now, you'd have to figure out how to fix this and get out of this without birthing a baby in nine months. It’s not like you already had enough shit on your plate already.

“Give me a second,” you said when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, letting out a heavy sigh when you saw the name on the display. You already knew you were in deep shit when you answered, “Let me explain..-”

“No, you let me talk now and you just listen,” your mother started angrily, “You run off with some foreign prince that I've never met in my life without so much as a word to get married to him, because there is no other way to stay together, despite you and him only knowing each other for a few hours. Then you get knocked up by said prince before even getting married to him and are now pregnant without even having finished college yet and having absolutely zero fucking stability in your life while being in a country that is not home. Did I get all the details right?”

You clenched your jaw as you looked at the terrified 'foreign prince' that your mother seemed to like so much. Taehyung maybe should have asked more about your family, now that he was hearing her scream like this.

“I'm not pregnant, mom,” you lowered your voice, “It's.. extremely complicated and I promise I will explain it all eventually, but I am not pregnant, okay?”

“You know what? I've had enough. I'm taking the next flight out and I am taking you home with me.”

That alarmed Taehyung so much that he sat up straight, but you just put your hand on his leg to stop him from worrying, “I'm not five anymore, mom, you can't just come and get me. I'm an adult who can make her own decisions and I've made this one. I am getting married, with or without your approval.”

You knew that she was worried. That her saying that wasn't said out of any ill-will, but she was worried sick for you being here, so far away from home where she couldn't be with you.

And she instantly showed that side of herself when her voice broke a little, “Just come home, sweetheart. We can figure all of this out when you're back here. And maybe your boyfriend could come here too? Why can't he just..-”

If only it were so easy.

“Mom,” you got up and started walking, wanting a moment alone with your mother, “I miss you as much as you miss me, so I'm going to suggest that maybe, if you can, come here and spend a few days here. I actually would really like you to be here for the wedding. I want you to meet Taehyung and see what a great guy he is and his mother and sister, who take such good care of me. I want you to meet them.”

“It's not them I'm worried about. It's everything else. You don't understand how big of a thing this is, the media coverage on all of this is insane. Everyone is suddenly talking so much about you and I'm so afraid of what it's turning you into. I just don't want anything to happen to you, so leaving now..-”

“..- is not an option, I'm sorry, mom,” you said firmly, but at the same time, with a soft undertone, “Call (Y/B/F). She'll be here soon, maybe you can take the same flight as her. I'll prove to you that I'm doing okay and that you won't have to worry about me. I've got this.”

Fake it till you make it, right?

“How could you be so stupid?!” the king was pacing up and down the room, the queen and Taehyung's brother and sister all sitting across from you and him on a couch opposite, “I told you, the worst thing that you could do is get her pregnant and you do exactly that. This is an outrage!”

“Have you even listened to the news? Read an article? Because everything I've seen so far is well-wishes and happiness,” Taehyung leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, “We live in the 21st Century, father. Having a child before marriage isn't as big of a deal anymore as when you were younger.”

He was challenging him, so much that his mother had to gently shake her head to tell him to stop.

The king was already furious enough. Taehyung shouldn't add more fuel to the fire.

You had thought that Taehyung might have told his father the truth about the situation, but that would make little sense. What he did was to stop him from trying to ruin yours and his relationship. If he caught wind of this pregnancy being fake, it would be back to him trying to marry Taehyung off to princess Dae. His mother seemed to be unaware of the situation as well. Only his sister knew, why she did, though, you didn't know. Maybe Taehyung had confided in her beforehand.

“I thought I had raised you well, you know?” gone was the mad king, now all that you could see on his face was disappointment, “But ever since you met her..-” and as soon as your eyes met his, it was back to anger, “..you ruined everything.”

Taehyung let out a snort and got up, “If that's everything you have to say, then we shall take our leave. My fiancé has to rest,” he emphasized the word fiancé, which only seemed to make his father angrier.

But before this could escalate any further, he pulled you up by your hand and out of the room, walking with you to your bedroom.

And as soon as the doors behind you two were closed, his shoulders slumped and you could see just how tired he actually was.

You weren't the only one that was drained by all of this, he just hid it better than you.

Taehyung moved to the bed, then sat down on the foot of it and closed his eyes for a moment.

You watched him, but couldn't do so for long. Your need to reach out and support him was too great. And so you followed him and knelt down before him, gently cupping his face in your hands so that he looked at you.

“This is all my fault,” he whispered, “I made it worse.”

“Why did you do it? I mean.. really, why did you take such a drastic step?”

He looked into your eyes for a long while, then he put his hands over yours to hold them, his eyes becoming sadder by the second, “I was scared to lose you. The only one that I ever had feelings for and that I wanted to spend my future with. That was selfish, wasn't it?”

The corner of your mouth curled into a smile, “I wouldn't be here anymore if I didn't feel the same way about you.”

And the longer this eye contact lasted, the harder your heart beat against your chest. So much, that it felt like it was about to jump out. The urge to kiss him, to hold him and just... be with him, was so overwhelming that you couldn't hold back anymore.

And for the first time since you came here, it felt like you shut off your brain and just listened to your heart. You leaned up and kissed him, carefully at first because you were afraid of taking it too far, but Taehyung was as desperate for this as you were.

This wasn't even about sexual needs, this was about feeling the other person so close to you, to feel a union that would bring you closer together and would help you feel a little better in a shitty situation like this.

He wanted that too... so he deepened the kiss.

You sighed against his lips and slowly got up, only so you could straddle him a moment later.

His hands traveled from yours to your waist, holding you so tightly that you felt like his hands were leaving marks on your skin.

Keep in mind that you haven't had a proper moment like this since that first kiss that you shared back home. All those emotions, those feelings... you both just bottled them up because you had no other choice. But now, the bottle was overflowing. And there was no going back anymore.

Taehyung fell back into the mattress, you with him, without ever breaking the kiss once.

The only moment you both did, was for you and him to take off your shirts, then it was back to exploring the others mouth.

Fingertips running over your back, a trail of goosebumps forming where they touched and once he unclasped your bra, your entire upper body was covered in them.

One of his hands came up to your neck to hold it firmly, his thumb brushing against your jaw, stopping to kiss you for a moment, but leaning his forehead against yours and breathing heavily.

You thought he might say something, but he couldn't. It was all too much in that moment. Too many feelings and emotions. All he could do was quickly turn you around so that you were lying on your back and he on top of you.

His lips found their way to your neck, beginning to kiss every single spot on it.

Your hands were running through his beautiful and soft hair, letting out quiet moans every time he found a spot that made you shiver.

It was clear that he wanted to make you feel good. As if he wanted to make up for something, which he really didn't have to. But as his lips wrapped around your nipples, you couldn't bring yourself to say no. Not when his tongue felt so good and felt even better when it was finally between your exposed legs.

You had only been able to imagine what kind of lover he was before, but you were glad to see that – despite not knowing his sexual history – he seemed to know what he was doing. His tongue was caressing your clit, kissing it and biting down on it every now and again. Every time your moans became louder, he slowed down, just so you could fully enjoy this and he could draw this out for as long as possible.

He didn't say a word, just enjoyed making you feel beautiful, loved and outright good. 

Soft kisses, hard kisses, sucking on it.. he drove you mad relatively quickly.

“I think..- I think I'm..-” you couldn't finish this sentence, Taehyung had already felt your grip tighten in his hair. He licked on your clit like he had before and to top it all of, sucked on it a little harder than he had earlier. And that was all it took to bring you over the edge and to have you moan out his name. Loud.

Your body became limp afterwards, breathing heavily as he kissed his way back up.

A grin had spread on his face, kissing your cheek when he whispered, “I should thank whoever built this castle for making the walls thick.”

You let out a chuckle and spread your legs a little wider, grinning when he looked down, “You're not done, though, right?”

“Right..-” he dipped his head to kiss you once, twice, then he leaned down to your ear, his hardened length now resting against your throbbing clit, “Are you sure?”

Butterflies erupted in your belly when he said that. This caring and wonderful man, still worried if you maybe didn't want to continue after all this... it might have been stupid to think that way, but in that moment, you thought to yourself: ‘It's all worth it...’

“Yes,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, “I want you. All of you.”

“You have me,” he whispered back, slipping inside you so easily because of how wet you were, “All of me.”

You had seen his dick earlier and had seen that it was long, but now that he was actually inside you, rock-hard at that, you could really feel just how long.

The moment he was completely buried in you, you let out a breath that you had unconsciously been holding and waited for him to continue.

But it took him a while.

He just waited, held you in his arms and kissed your cheek every now and again. 

“Hey.. are you okay?” you asked eventually, putting your hand on his cheek to make him look at you.

And when he did, you were surprised to see tears in his eyes. Worry filled your face, but he quickly laughed, “Shit, I'm sorry. I'm just... I just really needed this.”

“My vagina?” you said, mainly to lighten the mood. And it did.

Taehyung let out a laugh and kissed your forehead, “No.. happiness. A moment of peace. With the woman that I'll marry.”

Your smile softened, your thumb brushing over his cheek, “Well then.. why don't you show your wife-to-be what she can expect from her future husband?”

“Many,” he pulled out a little, “many,” then pushed back in, a little harder than the first time to make you moan, “Orgasms.”

Now, that was music to your ears.

And the moans that escaped his throat afterwards as he continued pushing himself inside you again and again were an even sweeter melody. Every time he moaned your name and told you how good you felt, your heart felt like it was exploding.

This is what you had both needed.

Because now, there was no uncertainty anymore.

This was right. This felt right. You and him together.

And whatever obstacle would come your way, you would face it.

Together.

[tandonshows]

Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at Tandon Productions! We hope your day is filled with love & chocolate — but if it isn’t, 7/7 doctors* agree that the best remedy is to spend your day listening to His Royal Fakin’ Highness. Here are some shots we took at the wedding of the century — join in on all the fun by listening to His Royal Fakin’ Highness on Spotify Apple Podcasts or our website, tandonproductions.com

*no real doctors were consulted. This statement is as fake as the engagement in our show.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO’s January Reads

Hey guys! So, one of the things I want to do with the blog is talk about the books I’ve read over the past month.  Not only will it keep me reading, but maybe someone will find a new book to check out!  I’m going to try to do these regularly, posting on the last Sunday of the month.  

January Reads: 

Title: House in the Cerulean Sea Author: TJ Klune Genre: Fiction; Fantasy

Goodreads Summary:  A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret. Linus Baker leads a quiet, solitary life. At forty, he lives in a tiny house with a devious cat and his old records. As a Case Worker at the Department in Charge Of Magical Youth, he spends his days overseeing the well-being of children in government-sanctioned orphanages. When Linus is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management he's given a curious and highly classified assignment: travel to Marsyas Island Orphanage, where six dangerous children reside: a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, an unidentifiable green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist. Linus must set aside his fears and determine whether or not they’re likely to bring about the end of days. But the children aren’t the only secret the island keeps. Their caretaker is the charming and enigmatic Arthur Parnassus, who will do anything to keep his wards safe. As Arthur and Linus grow closer, long-held secrets are exposed, and Linus must make a choice: destroy a home or watch the world burn.

My Review: 

Upon this being a rec from the company I work for, several of my coworkers kept recommending it to me.  I ended up reading it in three days.  

This is an incredibly beautiful book. While uniquely its own, there are shades of Harry Potter, X-Men, and Umbrella Academy among other things. It kind of sits on a line of between reality and fantasy, and is less of a plot driven novel, and more of a character study on letting go of what's considered normal, and embracing the strange person you are on the inside; as well as being a novel about finding a family, and finding the good in people no matter who they are. It's a quick read (read it in three days!), but its simplicity is a fault. It's positivity is one of its touchstones, and I appreciate that a book can be moving and not rely on tired darker or grittier tropes. It's also a good read for all ages, and a book parents could read with their kids.

Rating: 5 Stars

***

Title: Red, White, and Royal Blue Author: Casey McQuiston Genre: Romance; LGBT

Goodreads Summary: First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations. The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince. As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?

My Review: 

This is a sweet, light-hearted LGBT romance -- an easy read if you're looking for something to escape into for a few days. It's a bit on the tropey side, but that's where the fun is, and the characters are engaging and fun to spend time with.  If you’re a big fan of fanfiction, this has all the trappings of really good fanfiction (though I’ll admit, maybe cause it’s published fiction, it’s not going to be as explicit as a lot of fanfiction usually gets).  

 My only real criticism is the number of pop culture references and celebrity name drops go a little overboard. Sometimes they feel shoehorned in to make it seem more 'now', which is just going to end up dating the book in the long run. Also, the American political stuff feels a little idealistic, especially after the tumultuous election we’ve had, but that’s not really the heart of the book.   

Otherwise, while it's not going to win a Nobel Prize for literature, it's still a lot of fun.

Rating: 4 stars

***

Title: Truly Devious Trilogy (Truly Devious; The Vanishing Stair; The Hand on the Wall) Author: Maureen Johnson Genre: YA; Mystery

Goodreads Summary:  Ellingham Academy is a famous private school in Vermont for the brightest thinkers, inventors, and artists. It was founded by Albert Ellingham, an early twentieth century tycoon, who wanted to make a wonderful place full of riddles, twisting pathways, and gardens. “A place,” he said, “where learning is a game.” Shortly after the school opened, his wife and daughter were kidnapped. The only real clue was a mocking riddle listing methods of murder, signed with the frightening pseudonym “Truly, Devious.” It became one of the great unsolved crimes of American history. True-crime aficionado Stevie Bell is set to begin her first year at Ellingham Academy, and she has an ambitious plan: She will solve this cold case. That is, she will solve the case when she gets a grip on her demanding new school life and her housemates: the inventor, the novelist, the actor, the artist, and the jokester. But something strange is happening. Truly Devious makes a surprise return, and death revisits Ellingham Academy. The past has crawled out of its grave. Someone has gotten away with murder. The two interwoven mysteries of this first book in the Truly Devious series dovetail brilliantly, and Stevie Bell will continue her relentless quest for the murderers in books two and three.

My Review: 

Truly Devious:   I love the mystery aspect of it -- it's definitely intriguing, and as someone who's read a lot of mystery novels, I'm glad the mystery in this isn't glaringly obvious. It did, at times, feel like a ton of set-up, but because this is the first book of a trilogy, that does make sense. The teen angst/drama aspect felt a little much at times, and I wish there was more of some of the side-characters who only seem to pop up when the plot needs them, but this is minor nitpicking and overall, this book was an incredibly fun read.

The Vanishing Stair:  The mystery is still incredibly intriguing as it unfolds in more detail in this one, and Johnson's ability to unwind what's going on is fantastic. I still have a few minor quibbles -- I think this one starts out slower, since it's saddled with recapping the first book, and there are times when I feel it's a little padded (I'm not sure this needed to be stretched into three books, but trilogies, I'm sure, make more money), but I don't think that detracts too much from the overall story. I do, also, wish that some of the side characters (Janelle, Nate) had more to do, at times they kind of feel like window dressing, and there because Stevie's world needs more people in it. But overall, it's still a fun read, and an intriguing mystery.

The Hand on the Wall:  Better than the second one, doesn't quite capture the magic and mystery of the first. Overall, this trilogy was a fun little mystery with a lot of cool (albeit sometimes underdeveloped) characters. I still think it should have been one, larger novel, as this one, too, feels like there's a lot of padding. And I have a few smaller issues with how certain things were resolved (a lot of conclusions felt like leaps to get there for the characters, even if overall the 'mystery' made sense), while some things I wanted more closure on (what happened to Francis? they alluded to her in book 2, but never closed the door on it). I'm also not a fan of the romance in this book -- it never really clicked for me, and often felt like it was there to keep the plot going. But these are all pretty easy reads, and there are a lot of fun things, too. I'm curious as to how the author handles these characters in her next stand alone novel.

Rating: Truly Devious - 4.5 Stars; The Vanishing Stair - 3.5 Stars; The Hand on the Wall - 4 Stars

[gstqaobc]

THE ROYAL FASCINATOR

Friday, March 12/2021

Hello, royal watchers and all those intrigued by what’s going on inside the House of Windsor. This is another special edition of your dose of royal news and analysis.

Reading this online? Sign up here to get this delivered to your inbox.

      Janet Davison Royal Expert

The Harry and Meghan interview: Beyond the turmoil

While sifting through everything Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, had to say to Oprah Winfrey Sunday night, many saw parallels to other troubled times for the Royal Family.

The interview raised concerns particularly around race and mental health, and many found in it reminders of what Harry’s mother, Diana, experienced, as she laid bare the lack of support she felt after her ill-fated marriage to Prince Charles.

But the Diana period, which came as the clock wound down on the 20th century, was hardly the first time of family turmoil.

And in those earlier experiences going back decades — and centuries — there could lie hints of the House of Windsor’s fate after this latest crisis.

“I don’t think the history of this Royal Family, which has been written off so many times, tells you anything other than they know how to survive,” said John Fraser, author of The Secret of the Crown: Canada's Affair with Royalty, and founding president of the Institute for the Study of the Crown in Canada.

“Going back, back, back, there has never been a reign that hasn’t had some domestic problems.”

Perhaps unsurprisingly for an institution that emphasizes keeping calm and carrying on, there have been only the slimmest of hints this week of what will come next.

In a 61-word statement issued by Buckingham Palace Tuesday, the Queen said she and her family were saddened to learn of Harry and Meghan’s experiences, and that issues raised, particularly of race, would be addressed privately by the family.

In response to a question from a reporter while at an engagement at a school in east London on Thursday, Prince William said, ”We're very much not a racist family.”

BBC royal correspondent Sarah Campbell said William could have ignored the question.

“Despite the Queen's statement saying the race issue would be dealt with privately, the prince clearly felt he had to push back on what has become a very public and damaging allegation," Campbell wrote on the BBC website. “Remaining silent, he felt, was not the best option.”

In the interview with Winfrey, Meghan and Harry said there was a conversation — or conversations — with an unnamed family member in which concerns were raised about the colour of the skin of their first child before he was born.

It was perhaps the most damaging moment of the interview for the family, and one that is still surrounded in murkiness.

While Harry told Winfrey later that neither of his grandparents — Queen Elizabeth or Prince Philip — was part of that particular conversation, he refused to say during the interview who was.

“The fact that [Harry’s] on the outs with his father leads everyone to believe it must have been Charles, or possibly William, and until that’s dealt with, it’s this huge problem if they’re going to be future sovereigns,” said Fraser.

He said he finds it “unbelievable” that Charles, the man who walked Meghan halfway down the aisle at her wedding, would be worried about the colour of his grandson’s skin.

“Nothing in his life suggests that he is that callous or stupid,” Fraser said.

Still, it’s not clear who might have said it.

“It’s been left like a timebomb,” said Fraser. “How can [Charles] be the head of the Commonwealth, which has so many Black nations, until this is resolved? It’s a real dilemma.”

Fraser expects we will eventually learn who was involved in the conversation in question. “It’s just the nature of the way things go.”

But Fraser hopes it will be a given a context, and that it will be worked out within the family, “at some point down the road when they’ve got some distance from the immediate hurt that everyone must be feeling at the moment.”

Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, a lawyer and human rights activist in London, says the family’s circumstances are not beyond repair.

“But the point is Buckingham Palace better take this seriously, not come out with any stiff-upper-lip nonsense,” she told Adrienne Arsenault, senior correspondent and co-host of CBC’s The National, this week, before the statement from the palace.

“Nobody’s going to stand for it. Not for the racist comment, not for their lack of support for Meghan’s mental health, suicidal thoughts, not that fact that Prince Charles apparently failed to even speak to his son….

“All of those things should be answered and they should be answered humanely, like the Royal Family is in touch with what the public expects from it.”

Maybe there is at least one more signal of efforts within the family to work things out. While the relationship between William and Harry has been deeply strained, William said Thursday he will be speaking with his brother.

Who can be a prince or princess

Amid the many issues Meghan raised during the interview, one that seemed particularly troubling for her concerned conversations before Archie’s birth.

“They were saying they didn’t want him to be a prince or a princess — not knowing what the gender would be — which would be different from protocol, and that he wasn’t going to receive security,” she said.

That got a lot of people wondering about just what provisions there are for determining who becomes a prince or princess.

Under provisions of a letter patent issued by King George V in 1917, Archie would not at this point in his life be eligible to be a prince.

But his cousin — Prince William’s eldest son, seven-year-old George, who is in direct line to the throne — is a prince. George’s siblings can be a prince or princess, too, under provisions of a letter patent issued in 2012 by Queen Elizabeth, before George was born.

But that’s where it ends for that generation of royal great-grandchildren of the monarch, as things stand now.

“None of Harry’s children automatically get to be a prince except if there’s some reason that the Queen would bestow it on them,” said Fraser.

Grandchildren of a monarch can be princes or princesses, however, and things could change for Archie when his grandfather, Charles, becomes the monarch.

Whether Meghan’s comments might refer to what might happen then isn’t clear.

There is a broad understanding that Charles is looking toward a more streamlined monarchy, with fewer working members.

"I saw that Meghan mentioned that there were plans to narrow eligibility and I imagine that this is a reference to the Prince of Wales's stated view that the size of the Royal Family needs to be reduced," Bob Morris from the constitution unit at University College London told the BBC.

"However, he has not so far as I know given details of how it should be accomplished."

Fascinator readers write

Readers of the Royal Fascinator shared their views in droves after the Winfrey interview. Here’s a sampling of emails and excerpts from longer messages that reflect the wide range of thoughts offered on Harry, Meghan and what they said on Sunday.

From Linda: “I was saddened by the interview. It could have been a great opportunity for the royals to move forward and acknowledge mental health issues, but The Firm refused to take that route. Shocked to hear how the men in grey suits direct so much of the agenda.”

From Susan: “Unsubstantiated accusations are very damaging. It’s easy to allege things were said and then refuse to say who said them. Then it’s just a case of he said, she said. But the damage is done.”

From Charlie: “I feel for Harry and Meghan and I don't blame them one bit for the decision they made for leaving the U.K. and the Royal Family, in search for a more peaceful, sane and healthy lifestyle and mental health. I have never been a royal watcher or a fan of all the pomp that goes into it. I personally think Canada should abolish all that nonsense as it relates to a Governor General as the representative of the Queen in Canada (who is still our head of state). Canada should maintain close ties with the U.K., for sure, as partners, allies and friends, but this monarchy BS is a waste of taxpayer dollars.”

From Margaret: “I am still grappling with the intent of the interview and tell-all. And what is to be gained by the couple? Probably more paparazzi and Hollywood-like behaviours…. The constant referral back to Diana gives one pause for thought as well. Yes, Harry was totally traumatized by his mother’s death…. That said, although there are some similarities in press and media reporting, Diana was very young and naive when she joined ‘The Firm,’ whereas Harry and Meagan were well into their 30s when they married and should have known full well what could happen…. I do not mean to downplay or negate the comments on race/skin colour. Hopefully there will be some conversations around that at the palace level.”

From Tina: “I felt so much of this interview resonated with the Diana era. It left me with many questions, but mostly: How on earth can a parent stop taking calls from their child? How on earth can a parent not want to keep their family safe? How on earth can a parent allow the words of racism to be spoken amongst anyone, never mind their own? How on earth can a parent knowingly watch your child go through such pain and not reach out?... I applaud the two of them for coming out to the world and letting people be reminded, once again, of a dated monarchy who cares more about how they are perceived to the world than that of their own. One can only hope for Meghan and Harry to have a life of joy with their little family and always be safe .... and perhaps maybe Harry's wish that 'time heals all' comes true and his family come to their senses.”

From Paul: “Unless I misheard Meghan, she mentioned that she was not informed/prepared with the protocols of ‘The Firm.’ I find this difficult to believe. She is an intelligent, successful woman with a mind of her own.... I am not naive enough to not know there would be some racial problems.  But I do believe too much emphasis was placed on the racial issue. As for protection being dropped for Harry, why not? He is in a foreign country, by choice…. With all Harry and Meghan's money, they should be paying for their own protection. Remember, they optioned out of the U.K. Nevertheless, I wish them the best in their endeavours.”

From Anna: “I do not feel this interview will damage the Royal Family. There are differences of opinion in all families. I do not feel the whole Royal Family should be painted with the same brush. This interview will be so hard on the Queen. My heart goes out to her.”

We’ll continue to include comments from readers in future editions of the Royal Fascinator

Royal reads

1. Harry and Meghan’s interview might have some thinking it’s time for Canada to retire the Queen and its connection to the monarchy, but it wouldn’t be that simple to do, writes CBC’s Aaron Wherry.

2. Harry talked of an “invisible contract” between the media and the Royal Family. The BBC took a closer look at what it is.

3. Journalist and TV presenter Piers Morgan left British broadcaster ITV after long-running criticism of Meghan that reached a crescendo after the interview with Winfrey. [CBC

Cheers

I’m always happy to hear from you. Send your ideas, comments, feedback and notes to royalfascinator@cbc.ca. Problems with the newsletter? Please let me know about any typos, errors or glitches.

GSTQAOBC🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

[princesssarisa]

“Beauty and the Beast”: Belle’s beautiful discontentment (warning: long)

In my Feminist Defense of the Animated Belle, I addressed most of the issues I’ve heard people complain about regarding Belle’s character. But there was one I didn’t touch on, because it has very little to do with gender roles: the common complaint that Belle is a “snob.” I’d like to discuss that topic now. I’d also like to use it as a springboard to discuss a valuable aspect of Belle’s character that sets her apart both from certain Disney princesses who came before her and from depictions of Beauty in other Beauty and the Beast retellings: her willingness to own her discontentment.

I do understand the “snob” accusations. After all, Belle’s neighbors are poor peasants working hard to eke out a living. It’s only natural that they have little time for books or dreams of adventure and think Belle’s passion for those things is impractical. It’s reasonable to sympathize with their perspective more than the movie seems to want us to. It’s fair to argue that the movie has a (probably unintentional) classist undertone by portraying the villagers as small-minded and bigoted and by having Belle only find a kindred spirit in a prince, albeit an enchanted outcast prince, and find her ultimate happiness by leaving the town in favor of a royal castle. I’m grateful that other BatB retellings exist (e.g. Megan Kearney’s webcomic, or Robin McKinley’s Rose Daughter) that portray Beauty’s peasant world in a more positive light, depict the historic cruelty of royal court life in the Beast/Prince’s backstory, and have him leave the castle in the end to become a peasant rather than Beauty becoming a princess.

But none of the above is any reason to criticize Belle.

I don’t think she looks down on her neighbors. She most certainly doesn’t shun them, as some critics claim she does. Just look at her meeting with the baker during the opening song: she tries to have a friendly conversation with him and tell him about the wonderful story she’s read, only for him to rudely brush her aside with “That’s nice... Marie! The baguettes!” I don’t interpret her subsequent shrug and eye-roll as showing disdain for his “low-class” disinterest in books – just as “Oh well, as usual, no one shares my interest.”

Nor do I buy the claim that she shows disdain for the “I need six eggs!” woman (and by extension for all struggling mothers) when she rides past her. It’s true that she does seem to be smiling, which might imply amused contempt, but she might also just be enjoying her ride on the wagon while at the same time wistfully yearning for a new life, with her expression having nothing to do with the woman. I don’t know what the animators meant to convey. And even if that overwhelmed mother does represent the life Belle doesn’t want for herself, and if Belle sings “There must be more than this provincial life!” in response to seeing her, what’s wrong with that? I don’t think it’s an insult to women who choose to have big families. Even a woman who chooses to have five kids shouldn’t be expected to wrangle them all by herself while also doing her grocery shopping, with no help from her husband or from anyone else. That’s the kind of unpaid labor women have too often been forced into and it’s not “insulting other women” for Belle to yearn for something different.

Belle has the right to be bored by her small town life and want something more. She’s not some rich girl looking down on the poor peasants; she’s a poor peasant too. A person trapped in a dull, stifling lower-class existence has every right to long for a different life. Would we accuse Cinderella of being a “snob” and “ignoring the value of domestic work” because she dreams of escaping from her enslavement by her stepfamily? Of course Belle’s life in the village is more comfortable than that, but it’s still reasonable that she should want to break free from its limits.

“But Belle is clearly richer and more privileged than her neighbors!” some critics argue again and again. “Most peasants in those days were illiterate, so the fact that Belle can read shows she’s had a higher-class education, and in the stage musical, Maurice tells her she’s ‘class’ while their neighbors are ‘the common herd’!” I don’t buy that argument. I’ve never bought it. Not one bit. The movie’s setting isn’t the real late 18th/early 19th century France – it’s the Disney version of it. The village has a bookshop in the animated version and a church library and schoolhouse in the live-action remake. There’s no indication whatsoever that Belle's neighbors can’t read. (Gaston holding her book askance as he looks for pictures in it and Le Fou’s inability to spell Gaston’s name don’t count; the first is a “parental bonus” gag implying that Gaston is looking for a centerfold, while the second is a “Le Fou is stupid” gag. Gaston quotes Shakespeare in “The Mob Song,” so he’s clearly had some education.) Belle just stands out because she has a passion for books, instead of only reading now and then during breaks from “more important” things, and because she would rather read than engage in smalltalk about practical everyday matters. Belle is shown borrowing her books, not buying them, which I presume implies she can’t afford to buy them, and Maurice builds his invention out of ordinary household items (e.g. a wood stove, an axe, a teapot), so he presumably hasn’t spent much money on it either. Nor are they any better dressed than their neighbors, nor does their house look any fancier. They certainly don’t seem richer than Gaston, who apparently owns the village tavern and can afford to arrange a wedding party on short notice and bribe Monsieur d’Arque with a bag of gold to help him blackmail Belle. As for Maurice’s remarks in the stage version, they’re clearly about her personality, not about social class.

Belle also has the right to be an individualist and a misfit. That’s part of the whole point of her storyline. It seems to me that critics who complain that she “looks down on normalcy” are doing the same thing the villagers do, which is supposed to be wrong: saying “It’s a pity and a sin she doesn’t quite fit in.”

It’s no surprise that people should complain about Belle’s complaining, though. Traditional fairy-tale heroines aren’t supposed to complain. As much as we can joke about the cliché that the “I want more” heroine became during the Disney Renaissance, we shouldn’t forget how innovative that kind of heroine was in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Just think back to Snow White: at the beginning she’s dressed in rags and forced to work as a scullery maid by her stepmother, but we find her smiling and cheerfully humming as she scrubs the castle steps. Then there’s Cinderella: a bit more complex and openly discontented than Snow White, but in general she still goes cheerfully about her chores. The heroine who lives in unhappy circumstances but “bears it cheerfully and without complaint” is a mainstay of classic, old-fashioned fairy-tales (and other stories too). The early versions of Beauty and the Beast are no exception. After Beauty’s family falls into poverty, we’re told that her sisters constantly wail and cry over their lost wealth and status, but Beauty swallows her grief, resolves to be cheerful, patiently shoulders all the household chores, and devotes her days to consoling her father and siblings. For this she’s held up as a role model, in contrast to her complaining sisters, who despise her and insult her for it, but whom she always loves and forgives.

Of course there’s value in that kind of character. Resilience in the face of adversity and finding happiness where others find none is a strength in its own right. But it can be overdone. The more that women, poor people and outcasts are encouraged to be cheerful, patient and uncomplaining, the more they’re expected to “stay in their place.” Any righteous desire or demand for a better life or better treatment is labeled “rude,” whiny,” “petulant” and “selfish.” It doesn’t always cross that line, but it can.

Linda Woolverton, the head screenwriter of Disney’s BatB, knew that she wanted Belle to be different both from the traditional Beauty and from the likes of Snow White and Cinderella. So did lyricist Howard Ashman, whose experience as a gay man did much to influence the outcast heroes and heroines of the three Disney movies he wrote for. As noted in this Time Magazine article, they resolved to create a heroine for “the next century,” who wasn’t “based on being kind and taking the hits but smiling all the way through it.”

They definitely succeeded.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s wonderful that Belle owns her discontentment. It’s beautiful that she doesn’t try to fit in or put on a patient, cheerful mask, but unabashedly yearns to escape from her dull, small-minded village and find adventure in the great wide somewhere. It’s wonderful that she has no patience for Gaston’s rudeness and arrogance and that she loathes the thought of having to give up her reading and intellect in favor of a mundane marriage and raising a gaggle of children. It all leads beautifully into her friendship and romance arc with the Beast, where she refuses to tolerate his bullying, refuses to let him control her even though he’s the master of the castle, only forgives him when he earns her forgiveness, and inspires him to change for the better. The happy ending comes about precisely because Belle was willing to be discontented and shamelessly wanted more than she was given at first. This makes her almost the opposite of the original tale’s Beauty, whose story was written as an allegory for arranged marriage and whose purpose was in part to convince girls to submit to unwanted circumstances for their families’ sake. I love that instead, Belle refuses to submit to what she doesn’t want, and her refusal becomes the catalyst for all the positive growth and transformation in the story.

Let’s hear it for heroines who want more!

[kaahaani]

I really enjoy your TKEM fanfics and headcanons. Would you consider writing/sharing some Lee Gon and Tae-eul headcanons? Perhaps about their wedding/first weeks as married/Tae-eul settling in as Queen - their dynamic and experience during that time? Thank no mattar what, for just writing and sharing your creativity!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I had a lot of fun with this one, but cut myself off because it got too long LOL. Basically most of my headcannons are scattered throughout my stories, but I went into detail below about things I don’t touch up on too much. 

Tae-Eul randomly says “ask me again” on a random Sunday night when they’re in the Republic of Korea. She is dreading not seeing him for the week and doesn’t want to do it anymore. He automatically knows what she’s referring to and asks her to marry him, she says yes.

He cries because he’s been waiting for her to be ready, pretending that he wasn’t afraid that she’d never be ready to be his Queen.

Read more below the cut! 

She insists her father knows about the Kingdom  – that’s how Jeong Do-In ends up in the Kingdom in To Say That.

He slides the ring onto her finger when she falls asleep curled up into him, she laughs when she wakes up and whacks him, telling him that he’s supposed to ask before sliding it onto her finger. He points out that she already said yes so he’s just locking her in. They’re deliriously happy.

The two of them are always touching the ring and each other. Everyone in the palace is shook because they all know that Pyeha doesn’t like to be touched – and they have never seen him so happy or with a woman.

Lady Noh is ready to throw the wedding of the century, Tae-Eul is overwhelmed but she doesn’t complain too much because Lee Gon is happy and obviously the King will have a huge wedding.

Tae-Eul is overwhelmed with the media attention, skittish when people just surround her and yell for her attention. She doesn’t know where to look, how to look, how to deal with it – but Lee Gon is by her side, shielding her, whispering in her ear to soothe her, instructing the guards to keep the people away. She can’t get over the fact that her face is everywhere – every magazine, the TV, every website – just everywhere.

But whenever she gets overwhelmed Lee Gon is there to reassure her and whisk her away, he shows her parts of his world she couldn’t see while they were “hiding”.

Tae-Eul gets media training, etiquette classes and all these things she didn’t know Queens needed to know? But she adapts, learns how to look and smile so her pictures don’t turn out horrible, learns how to answer invasive questions, learns how to ignore multiple people yelling at her, learns how to sit so the media doesn’t comment on her posture.

Lee Gon is super proud of her but also misses little things like the way she used to stuff her face, or how she never held a cup so delicately, or the way she used to walk around - her gait rather manly and confident.

Lee Gon doesn’t agree with Lady Noh and Tae-Eul’s stylist – they put his woman in these ridiculous girly clothes that are just not her. She’s glad he says it because she was getting overwhelmed. He kicks them all out and they pick things she likes together without anyone’s input. But he’s definitely a fan of her now form-fitting clothing that don’t hide her body – and can’t keep her hands off of her – especially after he realizes the wardrobe upgrade comes with really pretty lingerie (he decides the stylist isn’t too bad after all).

Lee Gon tries to be her tutor – to teach her about the Kingdom, its history  and current problems -  but they always get distracted (*wink wink*) and Lady Noh makes them get a real tutor so Tae-Eul can actually learn.

She’s a quick study, and Lee Gon relents that maybe Liberal Arts students aren’t too bad after all, she hits him in the arm in front of all these people when he says it – scandalizing the palace.

By the time the wedding rolls around, the public loves Tae-Eul, Lee Gon is very vocal about his love for her and they can see it in their eyes. It’s like a fairytale to the public, a normal girl captures the King’s heart – the public is smitten with them because they’re so in love.

They also admire the policies she’s talked about – reforms in the prison system, changes to policing, women’s rights and health, focus on mental health and children’s health and education.

Lady Noh insists that they can’t see each other until the wedding on the day before the wedding. Lee Gon sits outside the door of her room and they spend half the night talking about how nervous they are through the door – their fingers entangled under the door. Lady Noh kicks him out at 1am when she happens to walk by and tells him to sleep while yelling oh my head, oh my heart, oh these kids.

On the day of the wedding everything is so grand and perfect but the two of them just have eyes for each other, they don’t care about the millions of flowers imported from around the world, the number of employees hired, the designers involved in their outfits, the cake, the food – nothing. They both only have eyes for each other. They couldn’t tell you what they did, who was there and what it looked like if it wasn’t for the videos they watched later. They’re always just looking at each other in the videos and it’s all live streamed so the Kingdom is like fangirling to the extreme because they’re so in love and it’s so obvious.

They disappear on a honeymoon in the Republic – for privacy reasons. Tae-Eul has always wanted to go to Greece, they spend two weeks exploring and engaging in licentious activities all around their rented villa. Lee Gon is obsessed with knocking her up.

When they return Tae-Eul settles into the role of Queen really well, she’s almost surprised. She loves the changes she can make with the power she has – her first task is reforming the police system, something she’s always had problems with

Her days are filled with engagements, Lee Gon tries to attend most of them with her at first, helping her adjust into the role – but also because they’re newlyweds and he just can’t stand leaving her. They basically act like horny teenagers and JY always catches in compromising positions.

They spend some nights just cuddled in the study talking about Kingdom affairs – helping Tae-Eul get a grasp of things better. She’s awed by how well he handles himself and he teaches her how to be diplomatic, how to avoid baiting questions, how to not express all your emotions on your face.

He disagrees with his strategists when they tell him the Queen needs to stop picking sides (she leans very liberal and is very outspoken about prison reform and women’s rights when this conversation comes up) but he tells them that she can do and say whatever she wants, she’s the Queen. 

He’s her biggest fan but also her biggest critic behind closed doors though, always complimenting her when she does well but working with her on things she can improve on – but if anyone else says anything negative about her he gets so riled up. He buys out media outlets that are critical of her, purchases servers and domain names of blogs that are unfair, and even threatens parliament members who dare to speak against her publicly. He doesn’t care that it’s borderline tyrannical, no one touches his wife.

She joins him for all his favourite events – Story Time with King becomes Story Time with the King and Queen – Lady Noh now instigating the children to ask them when they’ll have their own children.

She enjoys attending sporting events with him and watching him row, throw the first ball or just play in a charity match - it’s very sexy.

They bicker and banter over random things - they try to keep it private but people who hear/know are still shocked at how the Queen talks to the King and how he just watches her with a fond smile and gives it right back to her.

He still cooks for her occasionally, she learns to give him the love and compliments he wants rather than acting aloof.

She’s sometimes so overwhelmed with love for him, he doesn’t measure and love her in bearable amounts, he’s just so in love with her that it blows her off her feet. And she loves him so much.

She takes on her own activities in conjunction with the Royal Affairs Office – focusing on the history, art and culture of the Kingdom (both to keep it alive and to learn about it)

She never gets used to people waiting on her, her husband is so used to it that he doesn’t care what he says around them but she’s always aware of the little smiles and giggles when he’s being outrageous

She hates being in the spotlight sometimes, really misses being normal – being able to blend into the crowd, go to a restaurant or anywhere on a whim, having the freedom to just get up and go anywhere. But the feeling goes as soon as it comes, all she needs is to see her husband’s face and it’s all worth it.

He feels guilty about all she left behind and always asks are you happy when his mind tells him she would have been happier with a normal life. She reassures him that she wouldn’t trade this life with him for anything - the little things she doesn’t like are NOTHING compared to all the things she loves.