#asking for discounts for no reason asking for free shit

[skylightdistraction]

-

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

What about the Doors/Pressure shopkeepers trying to pretend they aren't giving their crush special treatment when in groups. Like, special inventory, discreet discounts, all that jazz

Jeff (Doors)

"Oye, I see what you're doin', Jeff. Thought you weren't one for giving out freebies."

*shrug*

"Don't play dumb! I saw you sneak the skeleton key into their bag! Even Bob's a witness!"

No matter what El Goblino says, Jeff will just wave off any accusations of him giving you "special treatment" whenever you stopped by the shop with your group.

While none of them donated to the tip jar, you were the only one who ever did...and even when you came back again and again, it was always you who showed him charity.

The rest of your group would just argue over what to spend their money on, try to rush ahead, mess with his radio, etc. etc.

But you trust Jeff, and he trusts you <3

So you get small discounts on his wares, and despite him not being able to speak, you could tell he's only looking after you.

The goblin jokes about Jeff's little "crush" on you...then he sees the entity's eyes widen and realizes "wait amigo,,I wasn't being serious do you actually like them?????"

He just shoos him away and will deny it to kingdom come, but it is true.

The moment you realized his feelings for you was when Rush attacked the shop once, and you thought you were done for-

When Jeff instinctively pulled you behind the counter and slammed the shutter down, keeping you uncomfortably close (yet somehow you've never felt safer).

When it's all over, he blushes and lets you go free.

You thank him with a small kiss on the forehead(?) and promise to see him again soon.

The next time you get duped by Dupe, or attacked by Eyes, Timothy, Screech, or a snare and need to heal...you discover a few bandaids in your pocket that weren't there previously...

Huh.

Wonder who gave you those?

Sebastian (Pressure)

Normally, Sebastian doesn't care to make personal connections with any of the expendables.

He's just there as their supplier before seeing them off on their journey, hoping they're putting his resources to good use.

But recently he's been seeing you more often, coming by with a new group or by yourself, trying your best to survive long enough to reach him.

Ofc, you've died to stupid things before (or maybe you're just trying to get all the monster documents..in which he's convinced you're some masochist), but you did have the most common sense out of your group and didn't try to annoy him.

The others just waste flash beacon charges on trying to blind the poor guy and stick the keycard in a medkit they couldn't afford...and for what?

Why do your "friends" do that? Are they stupid or something?

You tell them to stop, and it's...actually kinda nice to hear somebody willing to defend him.

People usually don't give a shit about the giant scary fish's feelings, yet for some reason you do.

Of course, Sebastian was reasonably suspicious about it.

"Are you acting this way just to get a freebie?" He assumes. "Because if you are, then you're definitely as stupid as-"

"No, I'd never do that to you." You shake your head. "You're here, helping us survive out there, risking a lot to get us those supplies...is it wrong for me to appreciate that?"

"......"

He goes quiet for a minute, but after the rest of your group leaves, he asks you to stay for a moment.

"You were looking at this Necrobloxicon for a while...you must reeeeally want it, huh?" He grins, flicking his tail where the book was strapped. "It's a rarity."

"I...can't afford that. I'm fine with this dingy flashlight-"

"It's yours for 70% off. Take it or leave it."

You do a double take. "Wait, wha-"

"70% off. Take it. Or leave it." He says through gritted teeth, impatient, only to smile when you accept the deal without further question. "Good. Now don't go telling anyone I'm offering discounts. That's your only one unless I feel generous. Capiche?"

"Gotcha. Thank you, Seb. This means a lot. I hope to see you again soon." You smile back, holding the spooky book tightly, and leave him alone with his thoughts.

And a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest-

Wait.

"Oh no....what the fuck am I doing????? That's it! NO more discounts for anyone, Sebastian!" He scolds himself.

Little does he know, he's gonna keep giving them out, but only for you.

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal

We’re all in this together. Don’t give up.

On food and groceries:

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

On entertainment and socializing:

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment 

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date

The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There

Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!

What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription 

On other big expenses:

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague

Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke

You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income) 

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years 

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It

On buying secondhand and trading:

Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

In Defense of Shameless Regifting

Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities

The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

How to Spot a Charitable Scam

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again? 

On resisting temptation:

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending

On minimalism and buying less:

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse

Slay Your Financial Vampires

The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending

On saving money:

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal

The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

We will periodically update this list with newer articles. And by “periodically” I mean “when we remember that it’s something we forgot to do for four months.”

Bitches Get Riches: setting realistic expectations since 2017!

Start saving right heckin’ now!

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[iactuallykissedsharawheeler]

⭑⌗ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒 + 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✶ let's go ahead and clear that idea that ellie wouldn't be like. immediately obsessed with you and giving you secret discounts on the weed.

✶ she met you five seconds ago and she was like. why would she ever pay for anything?? she's literally my reason for breathing?? (ok babe 😭) so you're getting that stuff for lowest price she can possibly make it. and if you flirt a little?? she's wondering why she's not just handing you the bag for free.

✶ when you guys get closer, she notices you're kinda into pink so when she sees pink papers???? she's SLAMMING that card, best believe. when you're freaking and like HOWD YOU GET THIS she's trying to pretend to be all cool like oh idk just found 'em and thought it'd be funny but if you like 'em you can have them ... i guess 😒

✶ if you're a little inexperienced with it she's a little protective and is like oh i don't think you should try that this one's way better and gives it to you on the house like?? you're trying to pay for it and she's like noooo it's for you just take it even though that was some of her good weed and she never gives that out. but you're nice and sweet and her bestest customer so who is she to charge you??

✶ when y'all are closer she literally just starts buying shit for you. you're like oh my gosh this bracelet is literally so pretty and next time you come over she's like so.. guess what and there's the bracelet in a box under two pretty pre-rolls (that she's also not letting you pay for btw)

✶ n you're so worried about breaking her bank when she does it but she's literally living lavish because she's everyone's dealer and no one with weed isn't getting it from her. (charismatic queen tbh)

✶ plus if you think this is gonna kill her wallet just wait until you guys start actually dating. she's not even waiting for you to ask for shit, she's telling you to put your cart on public so she can surprise you all the time.

✶ you're like babe how am i gonna pay you back and she's like just .. be pretty for me, yeah? 's not hard for you at all. (just flustered myself give me a minute)

✶ and some random things i just think she'd do:

✶ texting you high out of her mind about dinosaur facts because she just knows too much and needs to get it out immediately (she's such a nerd I love it 😭)

✶ trying to shotgun with you but she sees your face lookin' all pretty n dazed, chokes on the smoke, and just simply never does it after that. (give her a week, she'll be back)

✶ reading a shit ton of sci-fi. she compulsively reads savage starlight all the time but she's actually obsessed with the whole genre n can't exist without it atp (she DEFINITELY owns a few space cowboy books and before meeting you she would always imagine she was the lead guy with the hot love interest who was definitely some kind of alien. don't question it.)

✶ if you're a plushie girlie (me fr) she's ALWAYS buying you plushies. but she always buys one that matches yours for herself so you guys are "always together" or something. idk she's a little bit of a loser.

✶ she's so bad at keeping up with skincare but now she just weaponises that and makes you do it for her. literally rolling her eyes and pouting if you do yours without her, mumbling shit like "oh yeah, just forget about ellie, huh? that's what they all do" until you're like babe what??? 😭

✶ also i know that everyone says this but she really does own some weird ass shirts 😭😭 she'll get high and buy weird shit like that shirt that just says tomatoes it's so wild going through her closet lmaoo

✶ and because of her high shopping she also has some weird ass bongs like. seriously. there's a an astronaut one with octopus legs for sure, i can feel it.

✶ high ellie tweets>> she's actually so out of pocket sometimes 😭 some of her greatest hits would probs be

✶ also she was so nervous around you and wouldn't look you in the eye for too long because she didn't wanna scare you but then she got a little bold when she found out you liked girls and then was just straight up cocky when she realised you liked her, too (that blunt flick when dina said she wanted her to kiss her .. yeah that ellie)

✶ she's just the bestest, silliest, nerdiest girl ever and the best girlfriend literally anyone could ask for 💞💞

hey guys back with another banger hope you guys enjoyed make sure to like follow and subscribe‼️ no but seriously give me opinions because i love hearing you guys have little convos and the reposts are always so wild 😭😭 thank you new jersey, and goodnight (also don't look at the tags im shy) as alwaysss creds to @ cafekitsune bc these dividers are so mf cute

[niconebula]

I’m currently writing a college essay on the representation of Witches (and all Magical Girls) in Madoka Magica; I don’t know if I will be able to include this within the limits of the project so I wanted to share to Tumblr instead. It does not seem to be widely understood how much yonic imagery there is in the series and how important that is to the intended message.

For starters Kyubey is a walking uterus. The name of his species is literally Incubator (an enclosed apparatus providing a controlled environment for the care and protection of premature or unusually small babies; an apparatus used to hatch eggs or grow microorganisms under controlled conditions). He creates egg-shaped Soul Gems, and deposits the Grief Seeds back into his little receptacle. Why does he have such a weird design with two sets of ears? The lower ‘ears’ with the separated ends are actually modelled off of what Fallopian Tubes look like.

(Funny diagram but. It’s true! I’ll come back to this point at the end).

So then take this scene (thank god someone reuploaded it to YouTube):

“And you think a shit-for-brains hoe is going to be making that much in ten years? That body ain’t gonna last forever, you know.” “And then you dump ‘em, and they get all whiny!”

These two men are talking about the short term relationships they have with women, using them for their bodies and treating them like shit, and then dumping them immediately after - not understanding or caring as to how this upsets them.

It consistently baffles me how many people will completely throw out feminist readings of Madoka Magica. ‘Readings’ shouldn’t even be used - this is the main text of the goddamn show! You are free to argue that it failed at its message, or that the application was problematic, but for this scene in particular to fly over your head makes me discount opinions immediately.

Anyway, where have we heard this rhetoric before? “That body ain’t gonna last forever” - a young Magical Girl is always destined to turn into the Wicked Witch. “When you dump em’, they get all whiny!” - it is a Magical Girl at the peak of her despair who turns into a Witch, and Kyubey cannot and does not care for their human emotion.

The men cycle through their ‘hoes’ like Kyubey cycles through Magical Girls to get whatever his species supposedly needs to continue the universe.

I’m going to cut a break here for TW discussions of metaphorical rape and pregnancy involving minors, but this portion of the post is important.

Kyubey completely violates the concept of informed consent when he creates his magical girls - though he always argues that he did ask, and it’s in fact their fault (as fourteen year old girls) to not ask further questions.

Taking his form as a uterus alongside the yonic imagery of the show, it is implied that Kyubey has in some way ‘raped’ the girls. This is most evident in Sayaka’s arc; her insistence that becoming a Magical Girl has made her spoiled and that Kyousuke wouldn’t want to even kiss a girl like her.

Their transformations into witches further the idea that they have been ‘spoiled’, but also symbolize their transformation into adult women. Women who are ‘too adult’, and whose bodies are no longer attractive or useful to create babies anymore.

Goddess Madoka is even depicted as pregnant in the full Magia ending.

I feel like you could reason within all this symbolism that there’s a metaphor for specifically the coerced pregnancy and mothership of women. Something often considered the ‘ideal state’ for women and as you will see many conservatives argue, the necessary thing to continue society. In their minds, the subjugation of anyone they assign as women to these roles is necessary for society as they know it to continue for the imaginary people of the future who do not even exist yet.

Kyubey refers to the Magical Girls as cattle. He is there to help incubate and hatch the witch, and then throw the magical girl to the dust afterwards as she dies no longer useful. These girls are sacrifices to a far-off future that Kyubey promises them, he tells them that if no Magical Girls existed to hatch into Witches, humanity would not last long enough to see itself to the stars.

The incubator and his design, the soul gems and grief seeds, the pregnant madoka, the discussions about men liking their eggs a particular way by their homeroom teacher, it’s all very consistent. I’m not sure if my prospective readers have ever considered this within Madoka Magica - but try seeing it from this angle.

I didn’t find a way to work this into the post, but in addition: take the ancient myth of the wandering womb. This was the belief that so called over-emotional women were suffering from a condition where their uterus was moving in ways all across their bodies. It morphed into the more modern usage of female hysteria; hysteria coming from hystera- the Greek word for uterus. Kyubey thinks of the girls as constantly overreacting and overemotional. Hysterical.

[thecameronchronicles]

Favors

TW: Smut. Language. Oral sex (female receiving). Mentions of drugs and drug use 

Kook!Reader.

SUMMARY: Rafe uses his talented tongue to convince you to go to The Cut to get his drugs. 

WORD COUNT: 1200

REQUESTED

Rafe sending girlfriend!reader to buy drugs from Barry for him because he gives her a pretty girl discount but she kind of hates doing that so Rafes has to convince her to do it and he usually does that with his tongue 

Favors

"What's this?" You asked as your eyes met with the rolled bills set between Rafe's pinched fingers. Those same fingers that forced you to the habitual bite of your lower lip to what they could offer, had been rivaled by your annoyance to his motions. 

"I need more coke." He explained as if this had been some harmless request to simply venture to the corner store. But the reason for your hesitancy wasn't even the beckoning of his illegal vice, but that of him asking you to do it for him to begin with. 

"And you can't do it because…?" You inquired with frustrated agitation. 

"Because I don't have your ass…" You smirked at his vulgar compliment before angling yourself to view his backside. 

"I don't know…I think if you wear some tighter shorts, you could get the same discount I do." You picked at the edges of the manicure he paid for earlier that week as he set a hand to your cheek. 

You pulled your eyes in the preparation to roll in rejection to the soft methods he would try and win your submission. A sudden gasp of surprise set you to focus on him completely as he took an abrupt hold of your hair. He positioned you to face him, lips close enough to taste the mint from an earlier brush as your eyes fought in commitment between his new smirk and blue hues faded with lust. 

"I give you everything, don't I baby? My attention…that necklace…my patience." You scoffed. 

"I don't think you know what those words mean, Rafe…"

"I'm not patient?" He forced you to your feet, leading you to the direction of the bed with your calves at a rest to the disheveled sheets from a slothful owner. 

"So I don't let you take your time on your knees for me? When you take me all the way to the back of your throat," The backs of his fingers traced your neck as he continued, "Crying and choking for me…because you just can't get enough of how I feel inside of you?" 

"I-"

"And I'm not selfless when I'm on my knees for you? Letting you drown me because you're so fucking desperate?" He clenched his teeth, tightening his grip through your hair as his second fell to your sex. Your fingers were quick to wrap around his hand. 

"If I make you come selflessly while I exercise my patience…then you're going to take your pretty little ass to The Cut and get me my discount…" His eyes darkened further as he thought of his alternative. 

"Otherwise, you're going to be…compensation for my lack of a high. A bag's worth…" He cocked his jaw. "I'd say that would mean until morning at least-"

"Rafe…"

"It's more than a fair deal…But either way…you are gonna come for me. How, is up to you…" You considered the options before offering a single nod. This sole bob of your head offered enough consent to push you to the bed. 

"Then keep those pretty lips closed…" He pulled your thighs further apart, his fingers descending your naked skin as he took hold of your panties and carried them to your ankles. 

"But these legs…wide…" He removed his shirt, allowing you a moment to adore his physique that had been the result of peer pressure and pride , before dropping to his knees. A leg set high over each shoulder would subject your eyes to fixate on him as he licked his lips. 

"You know I'd eat you out for free, baby, yeah?" You weren't able to speak as he silenced you with a teasing strip made from his tongue. 

"Because I fucking love how desperate you are to come…whining and shit…willing to go to The Cut as long as I get you off…" He lowered completely to your sex. 

"And I will. Just like I always do." He explained as he committed to your clit. Wrapped at the tip of his tongue was your bundle of nerves, teased and sucked in a slow climb of accelerated ambition. 

"RAFE!" You belted as he lunged that vulgar tongue into you, mimicking what was to come, but not allowing you the benefit of him. 

"You taste so…desperate…" He grinned, rising from you to showcase the trophy on a drip down his chin as you rolled your eyes once he reconnected to your sex. 

"Mmm…" He moaned to the mindless rise of your hips, a natural reaction to his oral skillet, all while you were left to endure him. In the attempts made to do this very thing by the closing of your thighs against his cheeks, you were rejected as his fingers ate into your skin and forced you apart. 

"Wider." He growled as your legs shook. You need to be closed as tightly as possible to keep that immediate rush at bay. But he wanted you to spill over quickly. It no longer mattered what he would get out of it. His desire was to make you beg, squirm, and come harder than before. All for those words of cruelty made against his character. 

"Wider!" He spoke as more of a comment than a direction as he forced your legs flat. An uncomfortable stretch was quickly quelled by his tongue, all sensation kept at your core. 

"Rafe! It's too much!" He scoffed in a pitied roll of his eyes. A slow roll that made you want to view such a response between your thighs as you suffocated him with your sex on his back. 

"Fuck me! Fuck me right now!"

"I don't think so baby…that would be selfish of me…impatient…this is all…about ..you…" He spoke in breaks made of his oral pleasure as you were forced to experience his merciless motivations. 

 He groaned into you after you'd fought him long enough to break weak. One more slip of his tongue and you would be taken over that edge and allowed that release. But instead of granting that, 

he retracted. 

"What the hell, Rafe!" You whined. 

"Now who is impatient?" He teased as you were led to your knees. He savored you this way as well, building you back to that crest as you were finally allowed that release. Slowly but surely you felt those familiar waves pulling you to moan into screeches left by his tongue. Fisted fingers in the sheets beneath would be eased before a set of fingers replaced that now overstimulated sex. 

"Now since I've done my part….I'm expecting you to do yours…Only after…" He thrusted a few times into a bend to your g-slot as you began a rhythm once again. Only to retract. 

"Hurry back or I'll show you just how impatient and selfish I can really be…" He explained as a slap to your ass sent you collecting your clothes before he snatched your panties from your hands. 

"RAFE!"

"Let him know you've already been taken care of. He has a thing for you, and I want him to know all he gets to do is look-" 

"I don't know…he does give quite a deal-"

"You give him anything but my cash and-" He was suddenly angry. 

"Relax. Nobody feels like you do." He nodded. 

"And nobody will hurt you like I can either. In all the right ways…" he ghosted your lips before sending you on your way. And yet you could tell if you were more eager to remain apart to know what you would return to, or to return prompt as a reward. That was a dilemma in dating Rafe Cameron. His rewards were just as beneficial to you as his punishments…

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @drews1love @phildunphyisadilf @belcalis9503

MASTERLIST

RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

2ND RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

[aristotlecoyote]

i'm sorry you aren't able to pay for watcher's new service. it was a tough decision for me too - i'm unemployed right now and had to look at my savings and decide to skip on buying a few things - but in the end i chose to support them. there are fans sharing accounts and gifting subs. some people in the fandom want to help with solutions but you can't hear them over everyone blaming watcher for suddenly being in the 1% somehow?? (they're not) this is still in beta mode so we all need to take a breath and see what they announce after seeing the feedback. but watcher didn't ruin the economy and make it so hard for people to get welfare and help - you need to contact some government officials for that - not shane's wife

You are fundimentally missing the point. And why are you feeding a problem when they have clearly show they dont respect their fans with their silence, and their employees and spouses snide comments.

The watcher hate train that you think is clouding my thoughts simply isnt. I look at other fans to see if i my perception is more then just automatic frustration. And its not. I think alot. I get heated when i feel theres injustice. But i think through every single thing in this situation for flaws in my own logic because i know people like you will say i am blowing out of proportion. dont patronize me with those arguements.

Yeah governement stuff isnt their fault but they know where the world is. Or atleast they should and they are choosing to bleeding their fans dry. I never said they were the 1% but they are rich. Being rich doesnt automatically put you in the 1 percent but it does give you a leg up to being safe.

I took a breath. I took a whole breath today and lived my life on an extremely small trip on a train. To get free samples from an event with a discounted ticket. I bought a single nice thing that i wanted and for the first time in three days i didnt think about this shit show.

I wanted to support them but seeing as they dont care that they are making

1. A bad decision that everyone except people like you can see

2. Using a base platform that is notoriously unfriendly to creators

3. Didnt respect their fans enough to do market research and give us a finished product or a timeline for things moving forward

4. Act like they are drowning while they are on a yacht. And show that yacht to the people they kicked out of a lifeboat. Then blame us for needing to get a slightly smaller yacht. (This is an analogy)

Its not the same.

3 shows i like is not worth. 6 dollars.

I dont want Sara rubin's fucking help. I am saying she is showing the reality. That these people dont care. Its a common fact of todays world that very few youtubers actually care. That you giving them 6 dollars for a thing that has never worked in the long term unless years of effort and research is put into it. And you are on unemployment? I dont know.

You are the ones that dont see the reality.

But like i said in my post. I respect that humans can do whatever they want. I just think you should think and ask questions and when you dont get clear answers. Wonder why.

All of this mess is something you need to watch before you jump.

I simply chose to step away from the cliff because i saw sharks in the water.

EDIT: some parts in this feel unfinished. I am tired and working on very little sleep because of how my brain has chosen to process this situation. I wont update this post with corrections unless someone can give me a hard reason to.

[dragonologist-phd]

Arueshalae or Wenduag for the Character Asks?

thank you! I gotta do my best gal Arue <3

How I feel about this character

Oh I love her so much. So much!!! She’s adorable and compassionate and earnest and has one of my favorite redemption arcs in anything and honestly one of the best portrayals I’ve seen of how guilt and regret can stay with you forever but you have to live your life despite that and keep trying to be better and god I could go on about her forever I love her so much

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Piper obviously ok I know that’s not the point! Seelah is my number one npc for her, even as I played Piper for the first time I loved how supportive they are of each other and knew I’d be shipping them in another universe

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Seelah again, because they’re also amazing as friends. She and Sosiel also have a lot of sweet moments, and of course I love how immediately accepting of her the Free Crusaders are!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think my most “unpopular” is that I see a lot people call her naive and…I don’t think she is? She’s a demon, she’s seen a lot of bad shit, and she fully expects bad shit from other demons- she’s usually one of the companions warning a KC about demon tricks and lies! We see more of this in the Abyss, but the way she acts around other demons just does not read as naive to me

I think this idea comes from how she puts mortals on a pedestal- because yes, when it comes to them, she can be overly trusting (see her Camellia banters). But I always read that as more to do with her mentality of Demons as inherently bad and Mortals as inherently good. And that’s something that gets challenged, especially in a romance, because she has to overcome that way of thinking and realize that people are complicated so that she can accept the good and bad parts of herself, and so that she can see mortals not as playthings or symbols of unattainable goodness but as people

Also she’s autistic-coded so of course people infantilize her but that’s a rant for another day

I’ll also say that she’s such a good queer romance. Just. Her whole journey from viewing her own sexuality as something that is wrong and bad and dangerous to realizing that it can actually be a source of joy and something to celebrate is something that hits so hard. I’m not even saying that one was intentional but there’s a reason her act 5 romance scenes make me want to cry. Idk if that one is even unpopular but I feel like some people discount her romance as pure fluff but I think there’s so much to read into with it

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish her Evil route had been fleshed out more? Bad endings can give a lot of insight to a character, but from what I’ve seen of hers it doesn’t have a lot of depth. Honestly even just one strong character-focused conversation could do a lot, but I haven’t seen anything like that for Evil!Arue (I haven’t been able to check it out myself yet so maybe I’m missing something but it just seems a little empty)

GIVE ME A CHARACTER and I’ll break their ass down!

[konohaforestfire]

How he holds your hand pt. 2

Part 1 era & up | Minors DNI

📖 Kakashi

Now for a man who always has his hands in his pockets, Kakashi sure does love holding your hand. 

Especially after all the trauma, he is a solitary creature, yet he loves people like Gai and you who pull him out of his habits.

If he’s taking you out on a date or a walk, he’s gonna slip a hand into yours and tug you along. 

As we know he can easily read his books one handed, so the other hand is free for different things. Like holding your hand.

Honestly he’s so blase about it, but it warms him so much to see you smile and sigh with your hand in his. 

He’s the type to go grocery shopping together around town and use your interlocked hands to point at shops and items. 

If he’s propped up on his bed reading, and you’re on his lap with him, he’ll hold your hand while he reads with the other. 

This man also loves to grip your wrist and pet at the pulse point with his thumb. 

Now he’d get too flustered with too much pda, but if you and him are on a double date with Asuma and Kurenai he’s def holding your hand without any fanfare. 

When you’re older after he’s retired from being the Hokage, he has no issues walking hand in hand all the time. 

He loves doing “old people” things with you, and has even attempted to hold your hand while you’re gardening and cooking. 

He’s even dramatically pouted (to tease you) if you don’t let him. 

🌳Yamato

Yamato loves holding your hand so much.

Honestly after you were official, he started making it a thing that he holds your hand all the time. 

Yamato loves recognition and praise, and he needs everyone to know you’re his special person, his love. 

Yamato can be shy, but the fact that someone loves him this much means he’s just happy to be with you. 

He’ll have all the upcoming festivals and events on a calendar so he can have time to hold your hand in front of others.

He holds it pretty normally, but if you do any interlocking of fingers he will blush and whisper affections to you. Especially about how cute you are.

If you’re at home and relaxing with him, especially with your hands occupied, he’ll think about how he can get to holding your hand. 

Yamato will end up deciding on pulling you close and just holding you instead. Another very needy person. 

🕳Genma

He’s sooo rude, he can’t take shit seriously. 

Man is purely unserious. (look at him!! awful man!)

Y’all aren’t even dating, you’re in a situationship and he’s trying to hold your hand. 

One time you guys were hanging out and he quickly grabbed your hand and used some old fashioned terms and pointed out a cute gift at a shop. (Probably a plushie or something)

The man running the shop asked Genma if he was thinking of getting it for his wife… and he said yes! Raising your held hand up to show you were together. 

He then let that man give you it on a discount and walked you home shocked holding your hand. 

At your door, he kissed it and then let you know he wouldn’t be able to get dinner tomorrow because he had to hang out with Anko.

I hate this man stg. 

He also likes trying to hold your hand if all the jonin are having a hang out to try and make fun of Kurenai and Asuma. 

It’s okay though they “talked” some sense into him for playing with you, and the next time he tried to hold your hand:

Well… you told him no, and he said he was just trying to hold his s/o’s hand, he said it so softly and seriously, you let him take it. 

And he squeezed it and took his senbon out and kissed you while whispering apologies and still holding your hand. 

He also changed how your hands were linked so he could pin you back against the wall with that hand and give you more kisses. 

Hate him so much, smh.

🎓Iruka

Now Iruka is a teacher and that’s the only reason he’ll be cautious about holding your hand. 

It’s not that he’s not madly in love with you, it’s that kids do not shut up about these things. 

He doesn’t want them distracted by his relationship (which is so damn silly)

But he’s def linking your fingers if it’s at an event where he knows he won’t see the kids. 

Honestly sometimes he puts time aside for late night walks 

(Or late night dinner after he’s finished grading) so he can hold your hand around the city in peace.

But the kids will end up seeing, and it will spread. It was two girls who were out with their moms doing some later afternoon shopping and they spread that back to Konohamaru and Crew, then it got to Naruto and Sakura, and then it got to everybody. 

Actually a lot of the chunin and jonin didn’t even know you two were dating and because it’s Iruka it just becomes a whole thing if any of them see you together and you’re not holding hands. 

Poor Iruka, he just gets bright red at all the teasing, ‘Hey Iruka-sensei your girlfriend is right there why aren’t you holding her hand?’

His students ‘Iruka-sensei! My mom said she holds my dad’s hand because she loves him, do you love s/o?” 

Kakashi is actually the worst offender somehow. 

Naruto actually thinks it’s really cute and he reacts to it kinda like he did his Minato and Kushina’s love story. (excuse me I’m crying brb)

📝Jiraiya (yes he should be in jail… yes I would send him my check for commissary)

If you catch Jiraiya (or possibly read these as Jiraiya/Tsunade headcanons) he’s usually just got a hand on your lower back. 

He likes to give you nice back rubs, and surprisingly they don’t turn into anything unless you were alone in your room together 

Though if you were in a crowded street etc, he’s grabbing your wrist with his big hand and making sure you stay tucked in against him.

He also likes to throw an arm over your shoulder at restaurants and link your fingers from there. 

He’ll even pout and ask you to give him your hand from that weird angle. 

Or he’ll have his arm wrapped behind your back and hold your hand that’s at your side. 

Surprisingly he is a hand kisser. He likes to play the gentleman and kiss the back of it all the time. 

Say you need him to help steady you as you fix your shoe, or get over a puddle he’ll kiss it before he drops it down…. Still holding your hand, and now you’ll be walking like that.

[longsightmyth]

I know this isn't your usual stuff you post about, but I have a friend coming to visit me next year and they'll need to stay in a hotel. Do you have any tips or advice for when the best time to book or get the best deal?

The best time is going to be variable, but it's best to start looking early (IN INCOGNITO MODE)(ON THE ACTUAL HOTEL SITES OR APPS) and keep comparing. Jump if you see a special or something. Generally you'll get better prices earlier, but they can also be nonrefundable so be sure to triple check. If you DO make a nonrefundable reservation and suddenly can't make it, do not despair: that's where NOT BOOKING THROUGH THIRD PARTY SITES comes in. See below.

Incognito: because many sites will notice you are looking at the same flights/stays and start upping the prices accordingly. I didn't actually learn that through my job but through my degree. Not every site/company does this, but it's worth being careful about.

On the actual hotel sites or apps: it is tempting to look through third party apps like expedia or priceline or their many subsidiaries because they appear to have cheaper prices. Sometimes they even do! But if you have trouble at a hotel or want to adjust dates or make special requests or ask about better prices, you WILL be shit out of luck. At a property level third party reservations are stuck. We don't have YOUR money so we can't return it (9/10, you pay the third party. Then they give us THEIR virtual card. We can't even give you a receipt, because we don't have your card or your money), and except in some very specific circumstances you don't get credit with any memberships you have. We can't adjust your reservation for the same reason, so if you have to cancel after the cut off date you are Out Of Luck. If you've made your reservation directly through a hotel's specific site/reservation line and contact the property directly and are polite you will usually find a clerk willing to at least check if, say, triple A or student or hospital discounts are available. As humans we can and often do take 'oh shit there's a hurricane and people can't travel' or 'death in the family' etc as reasonable explanations for cancelling after the cut off date, and generally someone on property will be a compassionate human and manually change the charge to $0 or something, which, say it with me: We Cannot Do If The Reservation Is Booked Through A Third Party Site (or I suppose in theory we could 0 it out, but that would only benefit the third party site and not you).

Also I really do suggest joining a rewards program or three. They are almost always free to join, you can make sure your info is on there for easier reserving, there are member-specific discounts (not always large, but even ten bucks counts, right?) and most brands are willing to go to some extra effort for members. I do NOT suggest saving your credit card to this rewards profile: while database security is pretty good these days and most places DO fire anyone found giving ANY guest info out, the starwood breach a few years ago made me wary and this will ALSO prevent someone from fraudulently using your rewards account/credit card to check in via mobile, which is where most fraud happens these days. One weekend I caught seven people. It was A Time.

I hope this was helpful to you, even if it got really long.

[atrashcanraccoon]

one piece headcannons, hs edition

- luffy is that one kid who talks to literally everyone in the school

- he's filthy popular and he does a lotta shit but for some reason teachers love him

- he also knows that one of the janitors has 3 kids but he doesn't remember who does

- brook haunts the music room every lunch break and spends his time writing music or just singing his lungs out (but he has no lungs yohohohoho)

- he's a classical music snob (he might deck you if you breathe wrong at tchaikovsky) (yes i love tchaikovsky)

- he's had fencing classes as a child and he's filthy good at it

- nami befriended the canteen staff on day one so that she'll get to ask for discounts on the meals

- the gardener lets nami spend some time after school in the grounds (for that one tangerine tree)

- if she's placing a bet w you, cough up all your money bc you're losing fs

- no one is really sure which class zoro belongs to; some say he's a fresher but then a senior girl was talking abt how she saw him in her class once

- he sleeps through his lectures

- rumor has it that he's part of a gang (he's not, he got caught up in a fight when he got lost)

- sanji has a cooking/recipe blog on the side

- anyone who sits beside him during lunch gets an earful of how the school lunches can be made better

- he's a huge fan of sharing lunches (everyday can be a kitty party if you want it enough)

- engineering aspirant franky has been banned from using the lab unless under supervision

- he'd almost burned down an entire floor once and school was shut for a week stating renovation

- cola sales in the school happens only bc of him

- usopp is the guy who has all the tea about everyone (and he has discussions abt it w robin)

- he's v slay in pe class

- he'll get you fruits from the tree by catapulting a stone (bestf material fr)

- robin loves the library, she knows the library better than the teacher there

- every tuesday, usopp and her have overlapping free periods so they discuss the prev week's tea

- she's the quiet backbencher who's also the class topper

- chopper hangs out w the infirmary teacher (they share a cup of tea like every week)

- chopper is that fresher whose friends are all seniors

- he loves eating his lunches in the garden, he probably sits under a tree w his food and makes happy noises while eating (so real i would too)

[kingofdinosaurs]

Akihiko 1,2,3,4,5,12,18,23

1. why do you like this character?

lots of reasons probably? it's like hard for me to pinpoint anything i just like him a lot. i really like the specific ways he like reacts to adversity and shit. like persona 3 in general is like forming a squad of the most traumatized kids they can find (and also fuuka) but even within that i just think his whole bit is really interesting

2. favourite canon thing about this character?

I feel kind of bad for saying i really like his biggest flaw, but i really do like how he keeps falling back into that old habit and flawed coping mechanism of trying to reach some ill-defined concept of strength, and it makes a lot of sense to me that he's kind of stuck in this rut so much throughout his appearances, because he keeps just. experiencing new things that push him to retreat back into that. a lot of people don't like arena as like a regression i think, but it makes a lot of sense to me that it's not as easy for him to just. shake off all his heavily entrenched and maladaptive ideas one day just because. especially in the aftermath of persona 3. it's an ongoing struggle, but hey! he IS winning it, slowly but surely. hey check it out

3. least favourite canon thing about this character?

we need to fire that one atlus employee who keeps making characters be cops. like even discounting the baseline "cops are bad and we should stop glorifying them", it like. doesn't even make sense for akihiko to do that under the circumstances, which are "i want to follow in kurosawa's footsteps and help people like they helped me" BECAUSE LIKE ALL OF THE HELP KUROSAWA GIVES HIM IS LIKE. OUTSIDE OF AND AT TIMES ENTIRELY ANTITHETICAL TO HIM BEING A COP. i swear they literally mention he was on the verge of getting fired over the "selling weapons to children" stuff, like it just doesn't track. why is THIS the lesson akihiko takes away from that.

4. if you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, movie, anything, what would you put them in?

i think he would enjoy being in dragon ball ^_^

5. what's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

probably just his arena theme tbh, i have a lot of trouble coming up with songs for him. i would actually appreciate suggestions if anyone's got them!

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

i love forgetting everything I've ever thought about a character when i get asked about them -_- uh i guess the easy ones are he is trans and autistic... I wanna say something that feels less entrenched though...

OH yeah uh. this is more of a what-if thing but i do kind of think that if mitsuru hadn't approached him when she did, by the time p3 rolled around he would have probably built up a similar reputation to like kanji or ryuji. in some small ways he was really lucky to be given a completely consequence-free outlet for his desire to prove his strength, and i think if he hadn't had that, if mitsuru hadn't approached him, he would have tried to find that outlet in the real world no matter the damage it did to his reputation and relationships with others. i feel like people don't really think about this, but both in the answer flashback and in arena, he doesn't have access to that outlet of the dark hour and it does show in how he interacts with other people and what he prioritises. this is mostly a hypothetical, but i think it would affect how he thinks about kanji (and also ryuji in persona 5 arena coming NEVER)

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

ooh it's really hard to choose... i really love his relationship with mitsuru, i find his dynamic with ken really interesting under the like. especially the lead in from p3 through to arena, like how do you figure out that one from ken's end. must have been weird as hell. but i think i have to give it to him and aigis especially with the stuff they telegraphed at the end of arena of like. her doing some terminator shit with him to get his degree finished... in general the shadow ops trio are like a really fun successor to the senpai trio to me because instead of trying to like replace shinji they brought in aigis to make the situation even odder

23. favourite picture of this character?

oh god. it just has to be the misery expression like what else can i say. load bearing

[bitchesgetriches]

On food and groceries:

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

On entertainment and socializing:

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date

The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There

Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!

What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

On other big expenses:

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague

Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke

You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income)

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It

On buying secondhand and trading:

Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

In Defense of Shameless Regifting

Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities

The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

How to Spot a Charitable Scam

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again?

On resisting temptation:

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending

On minimalism and buying less:

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse

Slay Your Financial Vampires

The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending

On saving money:

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal

The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

[robthegoodfellow]

snippet of up an coming chapter which I’m gonna post before end of the week if it kills me. premise: Billy’s been flayed, and it ripped most of his soul/consciousness out of his body. He discovers a way to move by hitching a ride on light/sound waves, and recently realized if he summons emotionally charged memories of Steve, he can... propel himself around. So he goes to the mall.

When he blew into Scoops Ahoy, Robin was at the counter, trying to explain to Miss America Sinclair the limits of company policy regarding free samples. Miss America was unimpressed.

Harrington was nowhere to be seen, so Billy hunkered down to wait in the shelter of one of the shiny vinyl booths, which mercifully provided some protection from the surrounding sensory chaos.

He didn’t have a plan, particularly, beyond investigating the boundaries of these bizarre abilities and constraints. If Will had found ways to communicate between dimensions, there had to be a way for Billy to, as well, especially given he had the advantage of already being back in his desired realm—sort of. And who better to contact first than Harrington, who knew the score on the town’s supernatural track record and knew Billy best?

Plus, he just… wanted to be around him, okay?

What he hadn’t taken into consideration: Harrington was the favored chump of a whole slew of high-maintenance middle schoolers who gleefully exploited him for rides, backdoor access to the cinema, discount ice cream, girl-advice-boy-advice-hair-advice, random all expenses paid trips to the diner, late night Eggo runs, lax chaperoning on bone-headed escapades… You name it, the dweebs and their poor misguided girlfriends had asked for it, and Harrington had most likely given it.

Billy could not believe that even in this pseudo-afterlife, he still could not escape the Harrington-Henderson handshake, and this rendition was more excruciating than most. Even though he tried not to look during demonstrations past—his secondhand embarrassment too acute—he caught on as quickly as Dustin that Harrington’s heart wasn’t really in it, today.

He’d tried to welcome the kid back with all due enthusiasm, but—yeah, his boy was not an actor. No poker face to speak of.

“What’s wrong?” Dustin asked over his sundae, when Harrington had settled them into the booth across from where Billy was invisibly chilling.

Harrington waved dismissively. “It’s nothing,” he said, grimacing. “Billy drama.”

Dustin’s eyes narrowed, clearly running through the many varieties of drama in which Billy might be embroiled. “Family, legal, or romantic?”

Cheeky little shit.

Harrington glared, because he was ride or die like that, but then his expression fell, and he picked at the laminate tabletop, hunched pathetically in his sailor boy uniform.

“Might be—” He cleared his throat, paused long to steady himself, and now Dustin looked concerned. “Might be over. Between us.”

“What?” Dustin cried, distraught, and if Billy hadn’t wanted to sink through the floor at Harrington’s words, never to see the light of day again, he would have been chuffed at the kid’s apparent investment in their relationship. “What do you mean? I’ve only been gone a month­­—what could have happened in a month?”

“A lot,” Harrington stated, a thousand-yard stare fixed on what he wasn’t naming—and didn’t that ache. Trying for a wry smile, Harrington produced more of a grimace, and shrugged, shoulders tight. “We were supposed to meet at mine to—to talk, but he… never came.” He rubbed at bleary lids. “Waited up all night.”

Fuck.

“I mean—there could be a good reason,” Dustin pointed out, then his face went slack, eyes wide. “Or a bad reason. Has anyone—?”

Harrington nodded, flicked a reassuring hand. “Got ahold of Max this morning. All she’d say was he went off to his shift like normal. Seemed totally fine, according to her.”

“But—” Dustin waved his spoon, chocolate syrup flying. “But that in itself is weird, isn’t it? No way in hell would Billy be acting normal if he thought you two were over. Not that he ever acts normal. Normal for him, I mean.” He gazed earnestly at Harrington, and Billy always knew Dustin was he favorite dweeb. Sorry, Will. “He wouldn’t. He’d be—burning down the town, probably!”

Harrington chuckled, a painful sound. “I don’t know. I’m just—gassed, man. So I dunno.”

Oh, babe. Billy was a puddle on the table. I’m so sorry.

When Dustin seemed unwilling to let it go, Harrington awkwardly nudged the kid’s arm, brightened his tone. “Why don’t you just—tell me about camp?”

Dustin cringed, blushing. “Is… now a bad time to tell you I got a girlfriend?”

The dweeb demoted himself almost immediately by dropping unwanted details about said girlfriend’s kissing preferences, though Harrington’s reaction was priceless. While they shot the shit about Camp Know-It-All, Billy studied the pieces on the board—tried to ignore the part of him that wanted to ripple over to Harrington and shake him until he realized something strange was afoot. Sure, it may have worked, but it just as easily could… fry every synapse in his beautiful head. No, better to approach that option with caution.

Dustin, at least, seemed primed to pick up on signs that something was off—with Billy’s body, at least. That was something. And now that he’d floated the idea to Harrington… Maybe he could stoke things a bit. Turning his attention to Robin at the cash register, he kicked himself for not looping her into all the Upside-Down nonsense when he had the chance, NDAs be damned. She was the real puzzle solver. Fuck.

He tuned back into the conversation across the way in time to hear Dustin whisper-shouting about an intercepted message from a Russian spy and would have rolled his eyes so hard if he had any. Because no—no, no, no—no way was he letting this twerp divert Harrington into some harebrained misadventure when they had a genuine crisis here. This was why Dustin was his least favorite—this, right here. One minute it’s help me capture my pet lizard that’s actually an interdimensional monster and the next it’s let’s leave a mile-long trail of raw beef to a remote location—what could go wrong?

Vibing with the top forty bullshit faintly pulsing from the speakers outside the entrance, Billy wafted to hover in the middle of the booths and considered his options. If he could thrum enough to make Harrington notice, then it stood to reason he could… interact with stuff, on some level. Still leery of accidentally triggering a heart attack if he messed too much with a body’s rhythms, he opted for the inanimate object most likely to get their attention and which incidentally allowed him some small revenge on Dustin.

Thoughts of Harrington passing him their soda can at lunch, his thumb grazing Billy’s, were just enough to propel him overtop the goopy remnants of the sundae—the spoon half buried in melted vanilla and whipped cream—and then summoned an oldie but a goodie: Harrington fumbling into the shower, buck naked, brazen, ballsy, scared shitless, and—the kiss. Their first kiss.

Even if they somehow missed the rattle of the bowl on the table, the ringing clatter of the spoon against the glass was like his own little alarm clock. What the fuck? he heard Harrington mutter, as Dustin babbled something about earthquakes.

Billy turned the dial, so to speak, sank into the memory—Harrington’s lips slick in the wet steam of the shower, the wet of their spit, brushing Billy’s mouth, Billy breathless with the shock of it, the what-the-fuck-is-this-really-happening, the hammering of his heart, the awe, the sheer euphoric rightness.

The was a crack, and Harrington yelped, pushing back in his seat as Dustin bolted out of the booth, squinting at the crowds milling around the food court.

“Eleven?” he hollered, hands cupped like a trumpet. “Guys? Still not funny!”

“I don’t think it was her,” said Harrington, poking cautiously at the shards of the split dish as melted ice cream oozed onto the table. “Hopper didn’t request any chaperones.”

“What are you numbskulls shouting about?” Robin called, pausing as she wiped down the counter with a long-suffering look on her face.

Dustin spun around, patting the top of his hat, self-conscious, hyper-aware of Robin being very much not in the know. “Nothing,” he said. “Just—the bowl. Uh, it… broke?”

“One of them cracked in the washer the other day,” she informed him. “They’re cheap as shit.” Balling up the rag in her hand, she launched it at Harrington, who barely looked up in time to catch it. “Clean up your mess, Sailor Steve.”

Frustrated, Billy took stock, then, remembering past stories of run-ins with the supernatural, he buoyed himself up to the fluorescent lights—recollections of running his fingers though Harrington’s hair—and when he was hovering among the humming bulbs, resisting the waves beaming outward, he started small, not wanting to send a shower of glass upon their heads. Small. Just—the way Harrington said his name. Casually. Fondly.

The lights flickered, and that’s when he almost had them sold, saw Dustin and Harrington gaping up at the lights, then at each other, then back at the lights.

“It’s back,” whispered Dustin.

“The rolling blackouts?” Robin surmised. “Yeah, they’ve been happening all summer.”

“No, the—” He caught himself. “I mean, yeah—the blackouts.”

Billy waited, sank a bit. The flickering stopped. Come on. Billy the no-show... Sudden spooky shit… Equals Billy is in TROUBLE…?

Okay, laid out like that, he saw how the leap of logic was… more of a long jump. If only he could write his name on the frosty window of the ice cream display or something—ghosts were always writing shit in scary movies. But without hands—not even ghost hands—how was he supposed to…?

Robin was at the register ringing up a customer, the buttons beeping as she tallied the purchase, the receipt stuttering out of the slot.

“Have a nice day.”

He let the light beams carry him forward until he floated just above the keypad. The squared buttons kinda reminded him of that time Harrington let him use his family’s fancy typewriter so Billy could finish the final draft of that Gatsby essay—and he shot forward, blanketing the register, triggering several keys with the force of the vibrations. The machine let out a multi-toned squeal, and Robin jolted back.

“Weird,” she said, and pressed the CLR key, wiping out the string of numbers that had appeared on the screen.

Okay. Billy could work with this. Maybe. If he could just… really fine-tune his precision, maybe he could…

He focused on the six with every iota, and—tried thinking of Robin, this time. Just to see. Thought of her marching him to the music room the day they met, fully intent on unveiling her erotica addiction to a near stranger.

The register beeped. A six appeared.

Now they were in business. Only, before he could try another, Robin had frowned and cleared the screen again. Bitch. Quick as he could, he aimed at the six, thought of Robin’s goofy smile—boom—then shifted one key up, thought of her goofy laugh, and… there.

.69 glowed from the screen.

Robin squinted, hit the CLR key. So Billy did it again.

.69

“Guys?” Robin glanced at where Harrington and Dustin were cleaning the table. “I think the register is sexually harassing me.”

previous chapters if you dare read a WIP

[hyperfixated-homo]

ooh I'm gonna be super predictable but I adore big brother Virgil in any capacity, so if you wanna write that go wild. muah <3

Tired, but never of them

Virgil has a bad day. His little siblings comfort him in their own special way.

Ao3 Link

A/N: This took a while, sorry! Sibling stories are not my strong suit lmao. It’s not even really explicit that he’s the older one here, but you know that he is and I guess that’s what matters. Also I almost got to 2k words with this fic!! Yay me :D

———

He was having a bad day.

Everything had gone wrong from the moment he woke up. He was late for school because he needed to stay up all night to study for a test (which he missed, thanks to his lateness). Then he got a call from his boss and he had to leave his brothers alone in the house because obviously he didn't want to get fucking fired and lose their only source of income. Then it felt like the only customers at their shitty little convenience store were all angry moms and spoiled brats who would take forever to buy their stupid fucking candy and gum and then complain when he didn't give them a discount when they gave him dirty looks. Then in a tiring series of events:

Some kids from his school showed up and started fucking around with the displays.

One of them jokingly asked him out and then called him gay for not immediately saying no.

They all proceeded to laugh at him for being queer for like, half an hour (which he was, but they didn't know that so what was the point?).

A middle aged man yelled at him for five minutes because he wouldn't give him a free beer for an expired coupon that wasn't even for their store.

A kid started crying really fucking loudly in the corner (she didn't stop for fifteen minutes and her parents refused to leave the store. He didn't know if he felt more sorry for them or for himself).

Someone smashed a bottle on the floor trying to take it out of a six pack even though they had a massive sign that clearly stated that they didn't sell single bottles.

And then, to top it all off, one of the kids smoked a cigarette in the bathroom and set the place on fire.

So yeah. In conclusion; Virgil Sanders was having an absolutely horrible fucking day.

When he got home, it was already seven pm and he hadn't eaten since his rushed breakfast (the granola bars at the store didn't count for shit). He was exhausted and stressed out and so sick of everything that he didn't bother to say hi to his brothers when he got back, deciding instead to immediately go to his room and flop onto his bed.

He didn't even take off his shoes or jacket. He just laid there staring at the ceiling and wondering what the fuck he was doing with his life. 

Everything sort of hurt, but not in the sharp way it hurts to get a scrape, or hit your head. It was more like a general soreness that spread throughout his entire body once he laid down. His stomach hurt. It always did when he got stressed or overworked, but it made him feel miserable.

He would need to redo his test. And have to explain to his science teacher why he had to redo the test. Would he need to do it alone? Was that better or worse than having to do that in a room full of people? He didn't know. But he was still thinking about it. For some reason. And probably would be for the entire evening. Fuck.

He stared at the ceiling for a moment and then let out a long sigh. He probably needed to make some food for his brothers. Fucking-

His brothers! Had they eaten anything for lunch? He hadn't had time to come back home after his second morning class, he didn't even check on them when he came home. What if they'd gotten in trouble? What if they thought that he hated them because he was in a bad mood and didn't talk to them? He knew that they got upset when he didn't pay attention to them, how could he just-

A knock sounded at his door. He called out (much more shakily than he would like to admit) for them to come in.

His door opened slowly and two big blue eyes popped out behind it.

"Hey Logan." Virgil croaked out (when did his throat get so dry?)

"...Hi." He sounded small, like he didn't want to say anything. Was he scared? Upset maybe? God they probably did think that he hated them-

"We made you some stuff."

Virgil blinked at him. That was most definitely not what he expected. "You made me things?" Logan nodded, almost shyly.

"Jay and Patton wanted me to give it to you because I'm the most quiet and they didn't know if you had a headache or not." The little seven year old explained, opening the door more and revealing a little tray behind him. Virgil couldn't quite make out the contents from his spot on the bed.

"Can I come in?" He asked. Virgil let him in, sitting up to talk about him better.

Logan picked up the tray and brought it over. Placing it on an empty spot on his bed, he pushed himself up and sat next to Virgil, putting his little hand over Virgil's.

Virgil damn near cried.

On the tray was a plate of pasta, some water, a little box of Pepto-Bismol, two cards and a little blue gem.

The pasta was clearly Patton's, heated warm enough to feel the heat in his stomach but not hot enough to burn. It was sprinkled with sliced ham and Parmesan, which was funny because Virgil was the only one who actually like Parmesan in this house. The ham and cheese combo was simple but it had become a sort of comfort food for Virgil, who had gotten used to making foods like that on a very low budget. When Patton started taking over some of the cooking a the ripe age of ten, he managed to make the recipe even better by adding melted cream (it was legendary; cheap, tasty and made the pasta so much better. Virgil was so amazed at his abilities that he upgraded him to the house chef on the spot).

The water and Pepto-Bismol were probably Janus' doing. Most of his siblings didn't know the difference between it and other over the counter medication like Advil or Tylenol. Janus had helped him do some research on which ones were safer after Virgil expressed concern about how much medicine this family needed (Seriously, between the twins’ chaotic habit of slamming into every possible surface of any place they go—plus Patton's leg injury and Logan's chronic pain, Janus' headaches and Virgil's stomachaches—the drugstore nearby basically knew them by name). Janus had probably taken the time to think about what type of pain he was in and somehow figured out exactly what medicine would make him feel better. He did that all the time, but it never failed to amaze Virgil. 

The cards had so much detail both on the back and front that it could only have been the twins' work. There were drawings and doodles all over the paper, Roman's featuring chibi versions of his younger brothers giving Virgil a big hug, while Remus' showed some more realistic drawings that featured an odd amount of eyes and limbs. They were both equally endearing. What really took Virgil aback was the amount of stickers the two had put on their cards. They loved to collect stickers, but had a general rule that using them was strictly forbidden. They were meant for looking and not using. The two of them using so many made the cards feel really special, as strange as it was.

Opening the cards, Virgil was met with a pop up drawing of himself on Roman's card and a big monster of limbs and eyes and mouths on Remus' that was labeled "the bad day". He was a bit confused for a moment, but then Logan put the two together and he couldn't help but laugh.

When the pages were pressed against each other the pop-out figures it formed a scene where Virgil was a heroic knight, holding his sword out and fighting The Bad Day. It was so thoughtful and creative and them that it almost made Virgil choke up a little bit.

The final thing on the tray was a crystal, small enough to easily fit into his palm. It was smooth on the bottom and jutted out into a natural looking formation, the bumpy pattern giving it a wonderful texture and a frozen appearance. It was slightly transparent, and through it Virgil could see that the edges were a bright cyan, while the middles were a deeper shade of indigo.

It was a salt crystal, one that Logan had made himself at home after a class demonstration left him interested. He'd kept them afterwards and called them his comfort crystals, because the knowledge of their creation made him feel better when he was sad, and the texture was pleasantly stimulating to him.

The crystal on his tray now was one that they had made together. It was one of the first crystals that had ever actually formed (when Virgil realized that the reason they weren't forming was because it wasn't humid enough for it to crystalize). It was also the first one they'd dyed.

It was Logan's favorite comfort crystal.

"Sometimes I feel better when I'm just holding it," Logan murmured when Virgil picked it up "so you can borrow it for a bit."

It really wasn't much, but it meant everything to him. The pasta had too much ham and the glass wasn't filled all the way, and there were spelling mistakes in all the kind words in the cards and there was no way to put the crystal down so that it wouldn't start rolling when the bed moved but it was so, so perfect and oh fuck he was crying-

"Virge?" It wasn't from the little boy beside him, but rather his door. "Are you okay?"

Patton's concerned voice from the doorway was enough to make him sob. He walked in immediately and started going through breathing exercises to calm him down.

Virgil spluttered for a minute, trying to find a nice way to voice his thoughts without sounding like a complete idiot but eventually just said fuck it.

"'I'm not sad." He said in-between sobs "I just really, really love you guys, you know?"

Patton's concerned face split into a grin, and he squealed, pulling him up and into a hug. "I love you too!" He said, squeezing him tightly.

It took a while for Virgil finally calmed down enough to get out of the hug and wipe his eyes. When they broke from their hug, he could see the others standing in his doorway. It seemed that Logan had gone to grab them while Patton comforted him through his sob fest.

He snorted, slightly wetly, and said "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Instantly, he had two little balls of red and green in his arms, loudly asking if he's okay. Janus came over to pluck the food from its spot on the bed and put it somewhere safer, and Logan rejoined him by his side.

It was nice. They were nice. He could feel himself relax and calm down as the twins explained the thought process behind their cards a little better, the background noise doing wonders for his overstimulated mind. Patton and Janus sat down eventually, Janus on his right and Patton holding Logan on his left. They gave him back his pasta so that he could eat while they talked about their days. 

They were so careful to not talk about anything that might trigger him. Every time he thought about it, it made him want to burst into tears again. 

There was warmth on all sides, not trapping but simply surrounding him. And he felt safe.

It had been a bit of a bad day. And he was still a little tired, but he knew at the end of the day he could never be tired of his family.

[pisscreant]

Fic Update

So due to my hiatus, the future of my fics, especially the bodyswap crackfic, is uncertain. If anyone wants to continue my Disco Elysium fics or use stuff from them, feel free! Just link me and credit me!! (Bc ngl, I still want a bit of credit even tho you can't own fanfic. It's just like a pat on the head ;v;)

You don't need to ask permission at all, but I'd love you to let me know! I won't be logged in here, but I have email notifs. You can also directly email me at artiesanscheese@proton.me

Besides silly ego reasons, I also want to get back into DE eventually. So I want to save your link to read it one day, especially if it has a happy/hopeful ending! Even if there's no happy ending, maybe in the future I'll have matured to a place where that'll be just as fun.

Soon, I'll post again one more time with ideas I had for separate future fics.

Have an except from ch 2!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Psst! Kimbo. Hot stuff. Sweet cheeks. Forget the prices on the menu. It's our treat. You deserve a *real* breakfast.

YOU - No.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Yes! Just think of that juicy, dripping plate of pure sugar. Fluffy pancakes absolutely smothered in syrup. The tart kiss of fruit on your tongue. We should eat that for every meal until the end of time. Together.

YOU - The dull ache in your newly crooked jaw flares as you clench it out of habit. You pointedly take another piece of wholemeal toast.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Come on, baby! Put down the bland shit. Let me show you all the sweetness that these new taste buds can detect!

YOU - When you had thought that Harry had an addictive personality, this is not quite what you meant.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Yeah well, when I thought I wanted you inside us, this wasn't what I meant, either.

YOU - You choke. The bread in your mouth almost goes flying across the table.

If you're curious, below were my plans for the bodyswap. All cws from the fic like ableism and racism still apply.

I had decided to make the whole thing follow Kim's pov bc Skills.

Through the story, both Kim and Harry grow kinder to themselves about their own struggles through coaching each other through life in their bodies.

Kim dislikes the Skills at first. He feels that they're harmful and gets defensive about how they talk abiut Harry. He also is alarmed about how Pain Threshhold and Half Light talk about harming themselves and harming others.

At one point, Kim in Harry's body experiences a stress-induced Loop when people get suspicious about how Harry's acting. "I'm not feeling like myself today." x100 Not comedic framing, I wrote it as distressing to experience bc it is.

Harry as Kim experiences racism and almost gets into several altercations. Kim has to intervene each time. Kim coaches Harry on how to adjust his posture and demeanour to discourage would-be hecklers. Harry hates that this is necessary.

Kim notices the green and yellow outlines of Harry's 'Detective vision' and thinks of them as hallucinations and discounts their significance.

Volition is desperately trying to run damage control.

Physical Instrument and Endurance take turns both complimenting Kim's strong body and indirectly insulting him with their 'bino' talk.

I have fun with Half Light turning aggressively protective. I know he's antagonistic to outside threats, but I think he can also be angry and scared for people that he cares about.

Harry is distressed af by the quiet and asks Kim to talk and fill the silence. Idk the comfort plus Kim awkwardly trying to ramble for him was cute.

Kim unsuccessfully tries to pop psych-away ARB and Limbic System. By the end of the story, he instead accepts them as people who are suffering just like Harry. The dream duo aren't nearly as antagonistic towards Kim as they are to Harry. In fact, they warn him away to 'save' Kim. They do however enjoy insulting Harry and having Kim getting protective. (Despite it all, it feels good to them that Harry is loved, even tho they can only find out in a twisted way)

Kim slowly grows to appreciate and bond with the Skills. He gets to use them on a case, and he Ace's Highs them by clapping Harry's hands together. ❤️

Kim and Harry eventually find the solution to the body swap. Harry learns to overcome his awkward secretiveness about his Skills as he coaches Kim through his first real Shivers check. Kim learns to be more open about the Skills' expertise and how they help Harry.

They learn that the solution is to fall asleep and dream in the tent again. The phasmid chemicals + the Pale switched them, and they can switch back the same way.

Fun twist: at the end, the Skills call out to Kim from Harry, and Kim can hear them!

Kim now had 25 boyfriends. It's implied they will fuck nasty about it. The end.