#at 6am tomorrow. this is On Her for not trying to get today figured out yesterday when she knew damn well this was gonna happen

[wizardnuke]

boss lady just texted and asked if I could please come in for a few hours we r slammed. girl it is not my fault u are slammed rn it is if anyone's. your fault. for not prepping for this yesterday bc we all knew this was gonna happen

[willalove75]

The Estate | Lady Dimitrescu x Fem!oc

WHAT DAY IS IT?! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY?! WOOHOO!!! I hope you all join me as I enter the final year of my 20s! And since one of my love languages is gift-giving, I am giving you all a present today! I debated on releasing this earlier this summer but I wanted to get a few chapters done before I did - and get a little further into Alcina's New Maid before I started putting out chapters. But ANM will still be updated weekly! Fear not! (And I know chapter 16 is late, I didn't get to finish it yesterday so I will finish it either today or tomorrow I promise!) Ideally, I would love to update this fic weekly as well but I just don't know if that is realistic so I am aiming for a bi-weekly or monthly update for this. Might be a little more frequently, might not. So I apologize in advance for irregular updates for this until I can get myself on a reasonable writing schedule! I do have a couple of chapters done already but I want to try and have a few chapters lined up as they're released. Unlike ANM where I literally brain-dump each chapter each week (usually done in a single day) and post it after I read it over a couple of times. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this fic since it's been rotting my brain for MONTHS and I literally have not been able to stop thinking about it and coming up with ideas/expanding on my ideas literally every fucking day for the last like, 4 months? LOL

Summary: It's been a tough few years for you. After a tragedy that left you to raise your three year old, Emma, as a single parent, you're finally starting to get back on your feet. Recently hired as a marketing & social media strategist for Dimitrescu Estate, a new chapter of your life is just beginning.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: Slow burn, fluff, angst, smut, flirty

I'll add more tags as needed!

Notes: I know I have so many other requests I should be doing but once again my mind has been plagued by this story I came up with and I need to get it out of my headddd.

Also, this is a blended oc/reader fic. Using "you" has become so engrained into my writing it's almost impossible to not add it (as opposed to writing she/her), but I will be giving the oc a name and describing her! Ik that's not everyone's cup of tea so I apologize in advance but I hope you enjoy it regardless! It'll be written in a similar fashion as Safety and Dimitrescu Books for those of you who are wondering what that will be like and/or read those (fucking amazing and wonderful) fics!

You take in the beautiful field around you, the crystal blue sky, the tall grass blowing in the breeze. Even though you have no idea where you are, it's warm and you have a fullness in your heart you haven't felt in a long time. In the distance you spot a familiar figure.

"It can't be-" you begin to say.

The figure continues to walk in your direction, but doesn't seem to get any closer. You begin to take a few steps forward, your legs feel like lead, slowing your movements. You try to run but you can't - desperate to get closer to the figure. You try and cry out to them but there's no sound when you scream. Using all of your power to move forward, each step becomes more difficult than the last. The figure walking towards you stops and stands still. With tears in your eyes you try and cry out again, and just like last time, there's no sound. The figure begins to move forward again. This time it finally seems like it's coming closer. Their face covered by shadow. You take step after step, using all of your strength to make your way to the figure. You're almost close enough to make out their face as tears stain your cheeks.

You're jolted awake by your alarm clock. Groaning, you reach over to the nightstand to shut it off. Looking down at your pillow you see teardrops scattered across it. Wiping your eyes you realize you were crying in your sleep again. You look up at the clock. 6am. You put your head back down and turn to the other side, reaching your arm across the empty side of the bed. Gently grabbing the pillow next to you, you take a deep, grounding breath and finally get up.

You exit your room and quietly open the other bedroom door. Inside is your three year old daughter, Emma, fast asleep in her toddler bed. Closing the door you make your way into the bathroom and turn the shower on. Pulling your hair out of it's messy ponytail you begin to undresses. Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror, the darkness hides most of what you see. Unless Emma is with you, every shower you've taken for the last two years has been in the dark. You had grown tired of looking into the mirror and seeing the dark circles under your eyes, noticing that you had lost weight - just looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing a shell of your former self. Even though you feel like you've been able to reclaim a lot of yourself in the last year, you always have a feeling of emptiness looming in your chest.

After showering you check the baby monitor, noticing Emma is beginning to stir, you quickly get dressed and walk into the bedroom. You make you way over to the toddler bed and sit on the edge, running your fingers through the little girls wild curls.

"Good morning my love." You quietly say.

The little girl turns her head and looks up at you, a sleepy smile crosses her face.

"Good morning mommy." She says with a yawn.

"Come on baby, lets get you up." You say, reaching down to pick up the girl, who sits up and reaches for you.

Lifting Emma out of the bed, she cuddles into your neck. You hold the back of her head and take a deep breath in, the empty ache in your chest eases some. After entering the kitchen you put the girl in her booster seat at the table and begin making breakfast for the both of you.

After breakfast you clean up the kitchen and get Emma dressed and put her in the playpen in the living room with her toys while you finish getting yourself ready.

You finish packing up the diaper bag and throwing a few of Emma's toys into another bag. After grabbing the rest of your own things you take Emma out of the playpen and head downstairs.

"Good morning Margie." You say.

"Oh Katie! Good morning!"

A small, elderly woman gets up from the kitchen table and walks up to the two of you.

"Good morning Margie!" Emma says.

"And good morning to you too princess." She says, squeezing the baby's chubby cheeks. "You want coffee hon?"

"No thanks, I'll grab something on my way, I don't want to be late."

"Oh right! Today's the first day of that new job, how are you feeling?"

"I'm excited, I'm looking forward to working in my field again."

"That's great but you know that's not what I meant." She says flatly. "How are you feeling?"

Knowing what she means you look down for a moment and then back up at Margie.

"I'm okay, I'm hanging in there." Margie gives you a look. "I mean, barely, but I'm hanging in there. I'm terrified to leave her." You say looking at Emma as your eyes begin to gloss over. "But I know it's what I have to do, and I really do miss working, I need some sort of normalcy back in my life."

Margie brings her hand to your face and wipes away the stray tear that fell.

"You're gonna do great kid. Knock 'em dead." She says with a smile and pats Katie's cheek.

"Thanks Marge."

With Emma and your things in tow you head to the car, putting Emma in her car seat and dropping your bags in the front passenger seat. When you pull out of the driveway you beep and wave at Marge who's waving from the front door and head off.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Emma says.

"Yes baby, what is it?"

"I want Baby Shark!"

You groan a little, it's just barely 8am and you haven't had coffee, Baby Shark may actually make you snap right now.

"Mommy pleaseeeee!" Emma whines.

"Okay fine."

Her whining is so much worse than Baby Shark, so you oblige. The music starts and Emma starts laughing and clapping her hands and sings along. You do your best to drown it out with your thoughts.

"Mommy! Sing Mommy shark!"

Looking at the girl through the rearview mirror you smile.

"Okay, okay." You say. "Mommy shark do do do do do do, Mommy shark do do do do do do Mommy shark!"

Emma squeals with happiness, you can listen to her laugh all day. It's one of the few things that's been able to get you through the last couple of years.

Pulling up to your in-laws house, you grab the diaper bag, Emma's toys and Emma and head to the front door.

"Nana!!!" Emma squeals when your mother-in-law opens the door.

"Good morning my baby!" She says as she picks Emma up and squeezes her. "Good morning Katie." She hugs you and kisses you on the cheek.

"Morning mom." You say and hug her back. "Thank you so much for watching her, really."

"Of course, I'd do anything for my grandbaby!" She says putting Emma down so she can go play. "Come in, sit."

"I can only stay for a minute, I gotta grab coffee on my way."

"Oh nonsense, I'll make you some and send you with one of our travel mugs, don't waste your money."

Her kindness makes you smile. Not only does your mother-in-law make the best coffee you've ever had, her warmth is always something that's comforted you. After you take a seat at the kitchen table you hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Who's in my house?!" You hear a voice playfully yell.

Emma's squealing laugh rings through the house as you hear footsteps walk towards the direction she ran off in. Your mother-in-law puts a cup of coffee down in front of you and the smell is to die for.

"Thanks mom." You say with a smile.

"Good morning sunshine!" Looking over you see your father-in-law with Emma in his arms.

"Morning dad." You say as he kisses you on the cheek.

"Oh coffee? Michelle can you make me a cup?" He asks, looking over at his wife.

"Of course."

"So Katie, you excited for your first day at the new job?" He asks.

"I am, a little nervous, but I'm excited to start working again."

"Yeah it's about time." He says playfully.

"Richard." Michelle hisses as she puts his coffee down in front of him.

"I'm only joking!"

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and sits down at the table. "So which vineyard are you working at again?"

"Dimitrescu Estate."

"Oh right, I've been there a few times, it's a nice place. Very pretty, and they have great wine." She says.

"What are you doing there?" Richard asks.

"Marketing and social media, pretty much the same thing I did at the last place."

"That's right."

Looking down at your watch you realize the time.

"Crap I have to go or I'm gonna be late." You say, getting up.

Michelle gets up, grabs your coffee cup and pours it into a travel mug, pops the top onto it and hands it to you.

"There you go sweetheart."

"Thanks mom." You say, hugging her.

"Okay love, mommy has to go, have fun with Nana and Pop!" You place a kiss on Emma's head and the baby's face scrunches, signaling she's about to wail.

"Hey Emma? Wanna go to the park with me?" Richard asks.

Her face lights up at the word "park", meltdown averted.

"YES!" She screams.

"Thank you." You whisper to Richard and kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for looking after her." You say as you head towards the door.

"We'll take her any day of the week!" Richard says.

"Love you honey." Michelle says.

"Love you guys too!"

"Good luck!" Richard calls out after her.

Once you're out the door Michelle swats Richard with a dishtowel.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"'About time?' Really Richard?" She scolds him.

"What? I was kidding, she knows I was!"

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and leaves the kitchen.

You jump into your car and plug in the address of the vineyard. You had been there a few years ago when you went to the wineries with your friends; hopping to and from the various establishments in the area, but that was it. Your first interview was over the phone, the second one, a Zoom interview, you couldn't even see your new boss' face because her webcam was broken. All you were able to hear was the woman's voice. It had a silky tone - sultry, even - if you were being honest. Aside from that, you knew nothing about her, you really weren't even sure if the woman you spoke with was the owner or just an employee.

Pulling up to the vineyard you put your car in park. You pull your necklace out of your shirt and hold onto it, your fingers tracing the outline of the heart shape. After taking a deep breath and exhaling, you drop the necklace back down under your shirt. You grab your bags and head inside.

The memories of the time you and your friends were here come flooding back as you walk in. You admire the ornate style of the room - it's just as pretty as it was when you were here last. As you look around you spot a beautiful grand piano tucked away in the corner and you take note of the jazz music softly playing over the speakers.

"Sorry, we don't open until 11." A slightly aggravated voice says.

You look over and see a young girl cleaning the bar, looking at you, visibly annoyed. She can't be older than 20, dark brown, almost black hair. She's wearing a tight black t-shirt with various silver necklaces dangling from her neck.

"Oh, I'm Katie, the new marketing and social media strategist."

The girls demeanor softens, but not much.

"MOM!!" She yells towards the back. "MOM!!!"

A blond girl runs out from the kitchen area.

"Cassandra shut it, mom's on the phone!"

The dark haired girl, Cassandra, rolls her eyes.

"Can you take her to go see mom?" She asks the blond, nodding towards you.

"Nope, sorry, I have to go, I have class in a little bit."

"Bela pleaseeeee." Cassandra whines.

"No Cass, I'm leaving, bye!" The blond disappears into the kitchen again and Cassandra rolls her eyes.

"Follow me."

She leads you to the back of the winery where the offices are. There aren't many offices, but in each one there's someone diligently working.

Cassandra stops at the door furthest away and throws it open.

"Mom!"

The woman behind the desk snaps her attention up to her daughter with intensity in her eyes. Her phone pressed against her ear. She holds a finger up to Cassandra signaling for her to wait, but never breaks eye contact with her.

The woman is beautiful. Jet black hair with near perfect curls that fall just under her jawline. Gorgeous grey-blue eyes, full lips painted with the perfect shade of crimson red. She's wearing a white button down, the first few buttons undone - just enough to show off her large chest but covered up enough to still be professional. The sleeves are neatly rolled to her elbows, you also take note of her perfectly manicured nails, painted black. She's wearing layered, elegant gold necklaces that accentuate her neckline. She has a few rings and a matching bracelet on to pull the look together.

"Am nevoie de transport până săptămâna viitoare. . . Nu, abia așteaptă. . . Trebuie să plec. . . La revedere."

(I need the shipment by next week. . . No, it can't wait. . . I have to go. . . Goodbye.)

She places the phone into its cradle and her eyes snap back to Cassandra.

"What have I told you about yelling across the building?" Her voice is stern, matching the intensity in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I-"

"Were you dying?"

"What?"

Her question surprised and confused you too.

"Were you dying?"

"No?"

"Was one of your sisters dying or gravely injured?"

"No."

"Was there any emergency whatsoever?"

Cassandra sighs. "No."

"Then there is no reason for you to be screaming across my tasting room. Understood?"

"Yes mom." She says, hanging her head.

"Now what is it that you needed?" The woman's tone softens.

"The new girl is here. The social media whatever?"

The woman groans, putting her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

"Cassandra. You act like that in front of our new employee?" She grumbles. "Go, finish your morning tasks." She says, waving the girl off.

Cassandra lets out an exaggerated "UGH" accompanied by a dramatic eye roll and begins to walk away.

"Și dacă nu remediați această atitudine, vă voi trimite înapoi în România." She calls after her.

(And if you don't fix that attitude I will ship you back to Romania.)

"Sorry mom." Cassandra looks at her mom who raised eyebrow at her.

The woman nods her away.

"I apologize for that, she can be quite difficult sometimes." She says as her eyes follow her daughter while she walks away. When Cassandra is out of view her eyes snap to you.

"Oh, it's no worry at all." You say with a soft smile.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Please, take a seat." She gestures to the chair in front of her desk.

The woman reaches her hand out across her desk as you sit.

"Alcina Dimitrescu, owner and operator of Dimitrescu Estate."

Your hand meets hers for a firm handshake. "Katie Moore, it's great to finally meet you as well."

"Is Katie short for anything?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah, Kathleen." You say.

"Kathleen, what a beautiful name. Do you prefer Katie over Kathleen?"

"Oh it doesn't really matter to me. I'll respond to both."

"Wonderful. Well then Kathleen, welcome. We'll go over the job responsibilities. I'll have you fill out some paperwork and then I'll show you around the facility."

"Sounds good."

Alcina goes over what the job requirements are, what she expects of you, where the person who was in your position had left off, the usual.

"And you will get a company laptop, you can leave it here, take it home, doesn't matter much to me. As long as it's well taken care of." She picks up the phone and presses a few numbers on t he keypad and you hear the intercom go off.

"Cassandra, my office please." She hangs the phone up and looks back at you. "Cassandra has set up your laptop, if there's anything else you need, any programs you use that aren't installed, she can take care of that for you."

Cassandra walks into the office, seemingly in a better mood than earlier.

"What's up mom?"

"Can you please bring me Kathleen's laptop."

"On it." She says and walks away.

"Now for the paperwork. I'll have you fill out these and then I'll take down some of your information." She says as she hands you a W2 and some other new employee paperwork.

She hands you a pen and you begin to fill out the paperwork on her desk as she turns her attention back to her computer.

"Here you go mom." Cassandra says, handing her mom a laptop box.

"Thank you draga. Almost done with your morning tasks?"

"Yup, just gotta put out the spill trays and then I'm done."

"Excellent, thank you draga mea."

Cassandra leaves as you finish filling out the paperwork. You trade her the paperwork for the laptop box and place it on the chair next to you.

"Okay, now I just need some of your information."

She takes down your address, phone number, birthdate, etc.

"And who is your emergency contact? God forbid something were to happen."

"Uh, Jake-" You stop yourself, shaking your head as you feel your heart sink. "Sorry, uh," Alcina looks at you over her reading glasses. "It'll be my mom, I guess, Deborah Wilson."

Alcina takes down your moms information and places her glasses on her desk.

"Excellent, now that that's out of the way, I will show you the facility. You can leave your things here."

Alcina pushes her chair away from her desk and stands up, you're taken back at how tall she is. She's damn near 7 feet tall. Alcina is easily a foot taller than you. With your work heels you're 5'4" on a good day. In her heels, Alcina is easily 6'5"-6'6".

You take notice of Alcina's full outfit - and her body. Her black stilettos, high waisted, wide legged dress pants accentuate her long legs. A thick belt with a black belt buckle that frames her waist, showing off her round hips. Her ensemble is reminiscent of the 1940s-1950s, but with a modern twist. It's obvious she has a great sense of style.

Alcina walks effortlessly through the halls in her stilettos as she shows you around the facility. She tells you what each room is, what its purpose is for and tells you a little bit of history of the place. She explains that there are a few other buildings on the property where the grapes are sent to and where the wine is made and bottled, but that this is the main building. Alcina takes you through the kitchen and into the vineyard a bit to show the different grapes that are put into making the wine.

Next on the tour, she brings you down into the wine cellar. You were expecting a dreary basement, but you're surprised when you see a beautiful wine cellar. It looks like something out of a movie.

Wine racks line the walls from floor to ceiling, housing hundreds - maybe even a thousand - bottles of wine. The stone archway along with the wooden accents and shelves give the room a rustic yet elegant feel. There's a gorgeous wooden table in the center with four chairs. The set looks like it's custom made.

As you look around the room you see Alcina walk over to one of the racks. She moves a wine barrel to the side like it weighed nothing.

"Even if that thing is empty, it still has to weigh a ton." You think to yourself.

Alcina examines the rack and carefully pulls a bottle off of it.

"And this, this is what started it all." She says, handing you the bottle.

As you examine the bottle you note the beautiful gold and red details around it. It looks expensive. The label on the front reads:

"Sanguis Virginis."

"Precisely, Romanian for Maiden's Blood." Alcina says with a smile as she takes the bottle and returns it to its place.

You don't even realize the confused expression on your face until you hear Alcina chuckle at it.

"Obviously, not made with real blood. My ancestors originate from Romania, my great-grandfather it was I believe who first began making Sanguis Virginis, well over a hundred years ago at his vineyard in Romania. Eventually the business was passed down to me, however I decided to take it in a bit of a different direction. Since I was already established here in the US when I acquired the business, I purchased this property and turned it into what it is today. We've expanded our collection and now we make over 25 different wine. And I import other things such as ciders and beers from both Romania and local breweries for our customers to enjoy. No longer do we just make and sell the wine to distributers."

Alcina looks around the wine cellar with pride, you can see the passion for her family's business in her eyes.

"Any questions?"

"No, I think you covered everything. It's beautiful down here."

"Why thank you. The cellar is my personal favorite room on the entire property."

"I can see why, it's stunning."

You take in the rest of your surroundings. The warm wood absorbs the lighting, giving the room a soft yet bright glow. It's a large cellar but somehow it still feels cozy.

"Alright, lets head back upstairs, shall we? We should be opening in a few minutes and I like to do a once-over to make sure everything is in place." Alcina says.

"Sounds good."

Alcina leads you out of the wine cellar and back up to the tasting room. Cassandra and another bartender are behind the bar, drying glasses and putting them away. Alcina swipes her finger across the piano, inspects it, and nods in approval. You notice her glace at the piano again, looking at it with adoration.

"Do you play?" You ask.

"Lifetimes ago." She says with a smile. "But I wasn't very good."

"Mom what are you talking about?" Cassandra says from the bar. "You're one of the best piano players I've ever heard."

"Thank you draga." She says, smiling at her daughter.

After her inspection is complete she walks to the front doors and opens them, pulling the doorstop down with the bottom of her heel. She flips the "closed" sign over to "open" and makes her way to the massive floor to ceiling windows that line the wall across from the bar. She unlocks each window and pushes on the side of the frame to open them, making sure each window is open at the same angle.

"She's so anal retentive when she opens." Cassandra says, half complaining and half just saying it out loud.

"I can hear you." Alcina says from across the room.

Cassandra rolls her eyes and continues to put the glasses away.

Making her way over the the double glass doors leading to the outside patio, Alcina props them open allowing a cool summer breeze through the tasting room.

She gives the room another once-over. When she's satisfied she nods to herself again and looks at Cassandra.

"Everything looks wonderful. If you need me, you know where to find me. Kathleen," She says, turning to you. "lets finish getting you set up."

Alcina leads you back to her office. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and a sudden chill runs up your spine. Quickly taking it out, you see a text from Michelle. Your heart begins to race as you open the message. A sigh of relief is released when you realize it's just some photos of Emma, covered in flour, helping Michelle make cookies.

"Everything alright?" Alcina says.

Focused on opening the text message, you didn't even realize that you stopped following Alcina.

"Oh, yes, sorry." You say as you catch up with her. "Just my mother-in-law, she's watching my daughter today and was giving me an update."

"You have a daughter?" Alcina asks, a little surprised as they walk into her office.

"Yeah, Emma, she's about 3 and a half." You say, sitting back down.

Alcina glances down at your hands, taking notice of an absent wedding ring on your left ring finger. She also notices a ring that looks like it could be a wedding band on your right ring finger.

"How sweet. It's a fun age. Although from my experience with the girls, it's the terrible three's that are the hardest. Two was an easy age."

"I wholeheartedly agree with that. She's wonderful but likes to get herself into all kinds of things. Luckily, besides her insatiable curiosity for things that can hurt her, she's a really good kid."

Alcina laughs, pulling a smile across your face.

"Children are wonderful, until they become teenagers that is. That's when the real fun begins." She says sarcastically.

"Oh, I could only imagine. It makes me cringe as a parent now when I think of all of the things I said and did when I was a teenager."

"Oh, so you were a bad kid?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

A light blush creeps across your cheeks. "I wouldn't say I was a bad kid. At least I wasn't worse than your average teenager."

Alcina gives you a smirk, the corner of her lip curled into a half smile.

"Is she flirting with me?" The thought flashes across your mind but you quickly dismiss it. This is your new boss, Alcina's just being nice, it's your first day here. There's no way she's flirting with you right now.

"So, I will show you to your office and let you get yourself settled." Alcina says.

Grabbing your bag and the laptop box, Alcina leads you to the room closest to her office and flicks the lights on.

It's a modest little office, on the left you see an L shaped desk in the corner against the glass window facing the hallway. On top sits two monitors, a desk chair and a small desk lamp. To the right is a small empty bookshelf. The office isn't anything fancy, but it's yours, and you're surprisingly excited about it.

"Please feel free to decorate it how you see fit." Alcina says, checking her watch. "I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I'll stop by again this afternoon to check and see how things are going. Cassandra should have left you a list of our social media logins." She says, walking over to the desk and picking up a sheet of paper. "Here it is. Take a look at them and when I get back I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you think they're doing and of course, what could be improved." She says, handing you the paper. "You did mention on your resume photography skills, yes?"

"Yes, and some videography and video editing skills as well."

"Excellent. The channels were being run by my eldest, Bela. But since she's has an internship beginning soon she no longer has the time. And since our last marketing director left, things have been in a bit of a disarray. Hopefully it won't be too overwhelming." She says, trying to gauge your reaction.

"I'm always up for a good challenge." You say with a smile.

Alcina gives a nod of approval and spins around on her heel to leave.

"I must be off. I'll be back in a little while to check in, if there's anything you need please seek out Cassandra. If she's doing what she's supposed to, you'll find her behind the bar in the tasting room."

"Sounds good, thank you."

"And Kathleen," Alcina says, turning back towards you. "Welcome to Dimitrescu Estate."

[gabbagepatch]

Wasn't a virus ~ 4-3-2024

Okay, so... I got a ~flare~

I didn't know this shit could flare. I figured the nerve pain had stagnated, apparently not. Honestly it's kindof scary, I'm trying to cope with the fear while waiting for the neurologist. I'm having a hard time. I cry almost every night. I'm really tired of dealing with this, I just want to be well. I'm okay-ish. I'm doing things I enjoy, spending time with my loved ones, etc. But at night it still hurts and that's really difficult. I'm very impatient to see the neurologist because I just want them to tell me I'm okay.

Four weeks ago when this started I had about a week of intense nerve pain and vomiting + other unsavory GI issues. Lack of appetite, malaise, brain fog, twitching, etc. It stagnated at a manageable mild-moderate discomfort via twitching and tingling. Then three days ago it ramped up again and last night I had an intense attack that echoed the first flare.

There was certainly some improvement from the first time though. The first time the burning sensation was nearly constant for 2-3 days with multiple bouts of vomiting. Last night after the peak of the flare it was manageable and I was able to get to sleep at the reasonable time. For reference, the first flare I was up until 6am.

I'm feeling worn out and poorly today with some unpleasant sensations in my face but otherwise it's still more manageable than the first flare. Hopefully this means the severity will keep decreasing until it goes away? It sounds weird but I'm a bit hopeful since this time is much easier than the first.

Me and my PCP suspect I have gadolinium deposition disease. The issues began within a week I received an MRI with contrast and my symptoms match it near perfectly. It's not an "official" disease, whatever that means, but if the shoe fits! I'm fighting to get a 24hr urine test so we can know for sure. I think it's kind of ridiculous that it's so difficult to get a test for a substance 15 million Americans receive every year.

My last therapy session is next Tuesday too, so I'll need to start looking for a long-term counselor soon. Another doctor to search for lol. Honestly the appointments make me feel better, like I have a witness and it gives me something to do. A goal. I miss having goals that weren't centered around my health.

I really appreciated my last therapy session, she helped me do mental exercises working through the death of my dog. She also helped me find some coping mechanisms to deal with the fear of having an undiagnosed illness. Her recommendation was to write down my symptoms, especially when they're making me feel isolated.

I'm feeling a lot of guilt about the stress this is putting on my parents. I was crying last night being held by my mom and said, "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to put you through this again."

She replied, "You're not putting me through anything. We're going through this together."

That made me feel a lot better. You can never completely silence the negative thoughts but that certainly lowered the volume. I love my mom.

──────────────────── 〔✿〕 ─────────────────────

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:34

──────────────────── 〔✿〕 ─────────────────────

[8r13]

oh haha heyyyy

been lil minny min , sorry bout that ... me ... it’s been a busy few days and i kept telling myself to pop on here even if it was just for a quick second to get something down , but alas ... i did not ... 

i worked 11 hours today ... ELEVEN !!!!!!! im so tired and not ever sure why i do this to myself (stay up til ........ 8:30 when i told myself i’d be in bed half an hour ago lol)

anyyyywayyyyyy. work was long but fun . ri1 is at an incredibly fun age where she’s just a total bro . wakes up and curls in my lap to chat with me about her dreams , and let’s me kiss all over her face when she doesn’t make any sense . she looooves when i copy her , and loves it even more when i can talk over/at the same time as her (as in predict what she’s going to say) and it’s a blast. ro2 is equally making strides , tho they look much different lol . he’s not crawling yet , but at this point that’s purely out of his own lack of will . he has the leg strength , he definitely has the arm strength... you try to put him up on his hands and knees and he just .... stays there lol . barely even wobbles haha . it’s hilarious to watch , and scary to imagine how fast he’s gonna figure out the whole “mobility” thing once he gets the picture . for now i’m grateful for the ability to plop him in the middle of the floor and let him swivel. 

im taking them both to the library for the first time TOGETHER ahhhh , i’ve taken ri1 plenty of times , but this is the first storytime that ro2 is tagging along and i’m a liiiiiittle nervous , but solely because that kid is as introverted as they come while his sister is the exact opposite and will want to be all up in that storytime’s business lol . but i truly can’t wait to see what happens . hopefully i will be back with a report tomorrow . 

as for now i will be turning in , snuggin up , so i can wake up at 6am once agaaaaaain .... but only for TEN (10) hours tomorrow ... yipeeeeeeee!

ps. if you’re reading this , tell me what your favorite cartoon OR book is !!! i need recs . (bonus points if u have any graphic novels to rec)

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 10/9/2022

Pumpkin Patch and homemade soup!

Today was a good day, mostly. I was supposed to record music, but honestly I felt pretty emotionally wiped and exhausted. It has been cathartic to record, but also painful in some ways. I hate that I had to write this music. I wish you were here. 

I woke up and decided that I wanted a slow start to my morning. I was in my PJ’s until about 11am, which is rare for me. I woke up at around 6am but was super tired from being out so late the night before that I did end up taking a nap. After a little more rest, I finally did decide I would try and run today. I just did a couple of miles. The hives have been mostly better, but I am definitely still struggling with them. I don’t want to push myself too much. I ended up running at about 12:30pm, then waited a little while and went on a walk with your mom. It has been nice to have chill days where we can just hang out and talk. I really appreciate that time together. I am sure she does too. I am getting a little sad at the thought of leaving, but I am excited to go back home and see Sadie and Latte, I miss them a ton. 

After that I showered and was deciding between the pumpkin patch that was about 18 mins away or the Henry Clay Estate. I figured I would go to the pumpkin patch since it was seasonal, and the other one I could go to whenever. This was a good time. Driving there I couldn’t help but wish you were in the passenger’s seat and we were driving with the windows down. We probably would have been talking about what we would be carving, etc. I miss our conversations. 

It was busy, but honestly I expected it to be WAY busier. I will say as far as pumpkin patches go, it was pretty limited pumpkins wise. It was primarily stuff for the kiddos to do; A petting zoo, slides, etc. I did end up bringing the market bag that I got at the craft fair and bought 5 smaller pumpkins, two gnomes, and some apple butter. I was complimented at the check out for my market bag. I am kind of kicking myself for not buying more of them. 

After that I headed to the grocery store because I wanted to make your mom and I dinner and dessert. She has been so hospitable, and I really appreciate her welcoming me into her home. It means a lot to me. So, I decided to make chicken noodle soup. It wasn’t too hard, and I was able to find a broth that didn’t have onions in it (YAY!). This was a harder task than I thought. I got some of those GF cookies that we loved and bought some oat milk vanilla ice-cream. I even bought a sweater at the Kroger. They truly have it all there. It’s a joke that if Kroger doesn’t have it, then Amazon would be the only other place. Honestly very impressed with that store. 11/10, great job Kroger. Also will never stop loving the fact that the bags are free here. What a concept. 

I headed back to the house and gave your mom the gnome, apple butter, and she set up the pumpkins on the table. They’re pretty small, more so for table décor. I did decorate one of them though because I figured it would be fun to do something with at least one of them! 

I cooked the dinner, and we ate and chatted for the remainder of the evening. So grateful for moments like this. I ended up having a tougher conversation later that evening with someone else, and it made me get very in my head. I’ve found that it’s very easy to be triggered, and by specific people. Trying to figure out boundaries. I know I am not the greatest at those at times because I just want to love and care for everyone, and not feel like I am letting them down. 

I have to work tomorrow, and really need to listen to the rough recordings of the music. Work shouldn't be too crazy though, luckily. I also need to swap out that purse that I bought at the craft fair (the one that supports domestic violence victims) for another one. 

Fingers crossed mental health will be better tomorrow. It’s honestly been mostly better here than it was when I was in SD. 

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

I love you. 

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

PS I love that I didn’t take photos proof of my meals, but your mom can vouch for me (LOL)

[dre6ming]

Living for the hope of it all

“I stayed there” series ~ part VIII

𓆩Masterlist𓆪

𓆩part VII𓆪

𓆩Part IX 𓆪

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: smut 18+ <minors dni>, oral ( f receiving), fingering, cursing, strong language, body insecurities, alcohol, anxiety, angst, fluff…. Hope I got it all

Plot: how can you handle the paparazzi when you are just a regular girl? How can you let Austin fully in, when you think you aren’t worthy of him?

Word count: ~6500

Disclaimer: the article at the beginning is made up by me and I don’t believe any of what I said it there, but you get it, fiction . Also this is not proof read so please ignore any mistakes, I’m too tired to check for them now.

Is he still playing Elvis?

"The ‘Elvis’ actor , Austin Butler, is quick to jump from one girl to the next, similar to the king of rock and roll, the 30 year old actor seems to go through lovers so fast that the lines between each relationship blend.

Just the other day, Butler, was photographed in L.A. sharing steamy kisses with a mysterious girl. The two of them had a brief make out session in the stars car and then drove away together. These pictures come out at a time when the actor is still believed to be in a relationship with 20 years old, model Kaia Gerber.

Could Austin have gone too far in his role as Elvis? As we know Presley was a womanizer back in the day and was accused of many infidelities.

No official response has yet to come from Austin or Kaia and the mystery girl remains unidentified, but with how crazy the fans are over the whole ordeal we are sure that won't stay like this for long"

I feel the phone slipping from my hand, but the intercom in the airport announcing the flights, wakes me up and I clench my fingers around the device. This can't me real, but it sure as fuck is. Pictures of me and Austin kissing in his car, right before we drove out. My face is pretty much covered by my hair and Austin's hands, but as the article said, fans usually figure these things out, quite fast. My heart feels like it weights about 300 pounds in my chest. If my mom sees this, I'm done for. If they find out who I am, I'll have this all over me, paparazzi, crazy fans upset I took their chance. My whole career could be ruined. And what if the article speaks the truth, what if he lied? About him and Kaia? Oh god I'm so stupid. Fuck me!

I want to smash the phone on the pavement, jump on it and light it on fire. This article just destroyed everything and it reminded me I'm not enough. If I were a celebrity like him, this would've been water under the bridge, but I'm a commoner, I'm a nobody. I have to keep calm for today, this is Emma's and Betty's day, I have to be ok for them. I can fall apart after they leave for their trip to Bahli, tomorrow. I close the article and wonder if he's seen. Probably not yet, since it's 6am and he's probably sleeping.

Putting my phone on 'do not disturb' I put it at the bottom of my bag and scan the airport for Emma's black hair. Sure enough she's found me before I did her. Walking towards me with a huge smile, I try to fake my bast one for her, ignoring the sting in my eyes. "Emma, it's so good to see you!" I say hugging her tight. "I missed you to flower" as we pull apart and help her with the bags, I laugh at the nickname she gave me years ago. "So when is it going to happen, I can't wait" she squeals, clapping her hands. I stop in my tracks, face shocked. "What- what do you mean?" I ask.

Emma giggles shaking her head. "Come on, flower, you know Betty, she can't keep a secret if her life depended on it. She texted me a picture of the ring a moth ago, she thinks she grabbed my phone and deleted it before I saw, but the message popped up on my computer as well." Letting out a shaky laugh, putting a hand over my heart, I keep on walking towards the car. "I should have known" we laugh as we load her bags in my car. "Yeah, she tried really hard, so don't tell her I know" Emma begs, buckling herself in the passenger seat. "I won't" and as realization hits me, I look at her smiling. "Does this mean, you'll say yes?" Tears of joy gather in my eyes as she nods her head, whipping away some tears as well. We hug tightly and cry together. At some point I don't know it I'm crying happy tears for them or bitter tears for me, but when we bring ourselves back together, I feel so much lighter.

Turning on the car and backing out of the parking lot, I turn the radio on. "So we kinda have to stay away from Betty and the apartment for the whole day" my fingers drum against the steering wheel with the beat of the music. "And our first thing in the list is breakfast." Emma giggles in her seat. "Can I pick where we eat?" She asks and I nod approvingly. "Anywhere that has mimosas, I was told to bring you in slightly buzzed." Throwing her head back laughing, she puts the directions in my gps.

The place she chose is sweet and small, it has those L.A. vibes of nature, fairytale cafe. We order and enjoy a good breakfast, over some juicy gossip about some of her colleagues as well as some of mine. She tells me about the job at the D.A.'s office, Emma is excited to finally score a secure job since finishing law school over a year ago. I tell her about my new cat and she begs me to take her over to the apartment real quick so she can meet the fur ball. I of course decline and tell her she and Betty will have the place all to themselves tonight and she can enjoy meeting Boots later.

After breakfast we drive to the mall, she insists on buying new outfits for the both of us. "We need to look fabulous in my engagement photos, no way are we going to wear something old." Her wish is my command today, so I bite my tongue accepting my fate. If you know Emma, you know, fashion is her favorite thing in the world, so it takes us no less then 4 hours to find something to wear. A blush pink short dress for me, with a decent amount of cleavage showing, but still modest and a champagne gold sequence strappy dress for her. Both are beautiful and suit us perfectly, they are elegant, yet not to over the top, but still not sure if they worth 4 hours of dressing and undressing.

For lunch we decide to eat at the mall and share a pizza. "So what about you, do you have a thing?" Emma asks and I lift a single brow at her. "I don't" as soon as the words leave my mouth, they stab me in the gut. Just a few hours ago me and Austin advanced to the status of boyfriend and girlfriend, but now that I wonder if I'm just a side kick, a curiosity, I can't think of us like that. "Why does it sound like there's more to that?" I try to hide my discomfort with a giggle, drinking some water. "Because you're a lawyer and you are used to reading into everything?" I try to reason with her, but I know she said that, because I'm an open book when it comes to feelings. "Plus today is about you!" I say hoping that she would drop it. Closing her eyes and putting her arms up in defense she gives up on the topic.

We decide best way to kill some more hours is to just go and watch a movie. I have to clench my fists and bite back my fight as she suggests that we go watch Elvis, since the movie is still in cinema and she hasn't seen it. Emma doesn't know about Austin, I mean she knows about Austin my ex, that broke my heart, but she doesn't know it's the same Austin, that's stareing me down form the Elvis movie poster. He's barely recognizable, jet black hair and sideburns, chin up, looking confidently at the camera. Sometimes I really wish that I could hate him, Ive tried but that's just something I couldn't do, my heart knows what the truth is.

Shaking my head I look away from the poster as Emma comes up with the tickets in hand, giggling like a little kid. "Ok child, let's go, I'll buy you a lollipop" I say patting her back. After the lollipop is bought, we walk inside the cinema and take our spots. Anxiety I bubbling in the pit of my stomach, as the intro starts, knowing I'll be watching two and a half hours of Austin dressed as Elvis.

When the movie ends I find myself once again crying, because I know that the Austin who made this masterpiece is not the fit for me, he needs more, he always needed more. It hurts that I let him back in my life, it hurts that I wanted him back and I can't have him. I try to collect myself and walk out of the cinema, listening to Emma babbling about the movie and how much she loved it. I'm walking and I'm talking, but it feels like I'm not there. I've only felt like this once in my life, after...well by now we all know, after what.

Me and Emma quickly change outfits in the mall's bathroom and she does a little makeup number on both of us. She takes a couple of mirror selfies and we are on our way. The drive to the dinner where the engagement will take place, is filled with laughter and singing. When we get there we are both in hysterics, laughing so hard you can probably hear us for miles away. "Come on lets turn you into a mrs" I say and grab Emma by the hand, walking her in.

After a beautiful speech and some more crying, everyone is enjoying some champagne, before the cake. Betty approaches me, her smile is huge and contagious. "So I don't want to rain on your parade, but as I was getting the apartment ready for my night with Emma, thanks by the way for letting us use it." I wave her off. "Just wash the sheets after" she laughs blushing, getting a bit lost in thought, probably about their unholy activities that are to come. "Sure, sure, but as I was saying, I was busy getting the apartment ready, when a certain blonde dude knocked on the door. He looked like he had been crying and to be honest I think he was still in his pajamas. Anyway he asked for you, said you aren't answering any of his texts or calls." My hand start to sweat and I have to grab the champagne glass a little harder for it not to slip out of my grasp. "Ok, and what did you say?" I ask clearing my throat, hoping to rid of the lump there, but it doesn't work. "I told him, you were out busy the whole day. He then asked when he could come back to talk to you and I said you're spending the night over at your parents. He didn't say anything more and than left thanking me." I nod, brushing some hair behind my ear. "Ok" Betty looks concerned at me. "What happened? I was asleep last night when you came back, but you seemed happy this morning." I shake my head, tonight , is her night, not mine, we can drop me for now. She gets that without having me say it and drops the subject for now.

Hugging her and Emma I say my congratulations and walk out to my car. I'm tired as it is and I have a two hour drive ahead of me, from the dinner to my parents house. I try not to think about anything else other than driving safe. When I get home, using my spare key I get in. All the lights are out, which means that my parents are sleeping, so as quietly as I can, I make my way to my bedroom. Taking a quick shower kinda helps me, but still there's a undeniable ache in me. Coming back to my room dressed in a towel I open the balcony door to let some fresh air in and then quickly changing into my pajamas.

Slipping into bed and turning off the bedside lamp, I try to sleep, but I can't. As preoccupied as I am with my own thoughts, the sound of footsteps outside my window, makes the hairs stand up on my arms. Leaving o the ground floor it's easy to climb in and out of my bedroom, over the balcony. Grabbing whatever I find on my nightstand to use as a weapon, I make my way out in the balcony. I almost let out a scream, before the figure climbing the balcony, lunched forward and covers my mouth with their hand. I try to hit the person with what I took from my nightstand, but they are faster and catch my arm, before I can even touch them. A chuckle escapes the person and I recognize it immediately, but my body is still on alert mode. "Oh fuck, no, (y/n), it's me, it's Austin, don't cry! I'm sorry."

Slowly the hand holding my arm, from hitting him, comes down to my waist and the hand covering my mouth, cups my cheek. I let out a shaky breath and try to relax a bit in his arms. "Shh, all this time and you still haven't gotten any better at self defense, baby!" He chuckles and I look at my hand to see that I'm holding a hairbrush, not a very effective weapon. I get out of his arms, suddenly annoyed at his presence. Walking back in my room I sit on the bed and put the hairbrush down. "Can we talk?" He asks whispering. "You need to go, if my mom-"

"No, we need to talk, you've been dodging my calls and text, I know you must of read that piece of shit" he says brushing his hands through his hair. "Was it?" I ask and he looks confused. "Was it what?" Austin asks, I like that he's keeping the distance between us, it's easier to think if I don't have his arms around me. "A piece of shit? Because I don't know-"

"Know what?" He interrupts me, his voice raising a bit. "Keep your voice down!" I scold him. "I can't have that Austin, I'm a regular person, I will work a regular job, where I'll have to help people. I can't have paparazzi chasing me and fans trying to tag me down." I say and I can see that every word hurts him, but I don't know if it's because he knows I'm right or because he disagrees. "I know, I should've been more careful, I'm sorry." He tries to come closer but I don't let him, putting a hand up to stop him. He falls to his knees a few steps in front of me. "It's not your fault, I'm just not what you need. Maybe you can fix this, you know, call the model back, try and make it work with her, she'd be-" he grabs my small hands in his, clutching them to his chest, blue eyes pleading with me in the dark. "No, don't, please, she's not you. I beg you (y/n), don't do this to me, not over a gossip page headline." I close my eyes. I can't look at him like this, it hurts too much.

"You were right to break up with me, I would've only hold you back-" my voice breaks as a sob makes it's way through my mouth. "Not true, if you were there, I wouldn't have spend the past 7 months since I've been done with the movie, in therapy, constantly trying to reach back to who I was. When I'm with you I'm the best version of myself." I try to take my hands out of his, but he's so much stronger and he pulls me off the bed onto his lap. Wiggling around to get away from him, I give up when his strength overwhelms me. "Austin I can't love you again, I'm afraid I'm not enough!" I say trying to keep quiet. My mom walking in on this is the last thing I need right now. "You are so much more than enough, it's my fault for not making it clear enough, but I don't want a girl who knows how to deal with the media, I want my girl, my girl who always makes me laugh. My girl who always teaches me new things. My girl who can't cook to save her life, but is the biggest culinary critic I've ever met. My girl who can talk you into loving the same things as her, because she has such a way of making everything sound 10 times better than it is. My girl who can recite the whole Taylor Swift discography in one breath. My girl who's touch I crave all the time, who's lips taste like oranges and who's hair smells like propolis and burnt pear. All I've ever wanted is my girl and that girl is you!"

I look into his eyes, his face is tilted up and tears are slowly rolling down each side. My mouth opens and closes, I can't speak, I think I've lost that ability. No one's ever spoken like that about my. I bring my head down and kiss his tears away, taking care of each cheek, making sure they're equally loved. Then I make my way to his lips. I hover there a moment, keeping our lips close, but not close enough to touch. Austin is frozen in place, his hands holding mine close to his chest, eyes closed and lips slightly open. I touch my lips to his, both of us sighing into the kiss. Neither of us moves and we just stay like that, lips touching moving over one another. It's slow, full of emotions, my heart is pounding in my ears, my stomach hurts and all of my muscles feel petrified. But then his hands let go of mine and hug my back, bringing my chest flush with his. I tangle my fingers in the soft locks of hair on his head. The kiss becomes fluid, hands are everywhere, touching everything, pulling at clothes and giving goosebumps everywhere they touch skin.

I put my arms around his neck and hug him tightly, hiding my face in his neck. Austin's breath is coming in short gasps as he holds onto me. "I want you!" I say breathless. I wait for him to respond, but he doesn't. Struggling, I concentrate on his still shallow breath to keep me sane. "Are you sure?" Austin speaks so low I have to make an effort to hear. "Yes!" I'm sure, I need him. I want him. I'm done of holding back, I'm done questioning everything. "I believe you Austin and as much as I try to fight it, I know that I can't ever leave you." His lips crash against mine, kissing me hungrily and there was raw emotion in the way his fingers curled around my waist, pulling me closer if that was possible. Heat rose up to my chest and all my senses unfurled as the taste of him nearly silenced all my thoughts. Nearly, because the sudden thought that we're still in my childhood bedroom with my mom sleeping down the hall, washes over me like cold water.

"Wait!" I push against his chest and he looks at me panting, pupils blown with lust and lisp red from all the kissing. "What's wrong?!" Austin is panicked, scared of what made me stop. I smile viciously and I see him relaxing a bit. "My mom is sleeping down the hall, we can't, not here at least" there's a glimmer in his eyes as the last few words leave my lips. He chuckles and pushes some of his hair back. "Wanna run away?" I laugh and cover my mouth to make sure I keep quiet. But as I look at him I see that his serious, not an ounce of joke on his features. "You're serious?" I ask and the breath gets caught in my chest when he grinds me over his hips. "Serious as I'll ever be. If this is what you want?" One of his hands stroked my hair as he starts to kiss my skin, leaving a warm feeling everywhere his lips touched. I tremor at his actions and I move my hips against his, moaning before I can stop myself. "Yes, please!" I say out of breath, like I just ran a marathon. I feel him smile against my skin and when he giggles his hot breath fans over my exposed skin. "Ok, come one!"

Austin gets up and pulls me with him. He starts walking to the balcony and I follow him, but then I remember I need my things. "Wait, I need my things." I say as I move frantically around the room, trying to rid it of any evidence that I was here. With my arms full, I drop half of what I'm carrying in his arms. "Ok, you ready?" He asks smirking at me. Nodding, I wait for him to jump over and then he helps me do the same. As stealthy as possible we sneak to his car, but before I get in, I remembered my own car. "I need to drive my own car, they can't know I was here!" I whispered. His brows draw together in confusion. "Didn't they see you when you came?" I shake my head. "They were asleep, I only got here like an hour ago." I explain and he just nods. "Ok, just drive close behind me, all right?" I nod and go to my car, getting in with shaky limbs. I take a minute to breathe and then I hear Austin's car start, so I do the same with mine to make sure I can keep up, even though I know where he lives, right now I need to be as close to him as possible. I can't believe this is really happening, but there's no one else I could've seen myself doing this with.

Thankfully he doesn't live too far away from my parents house and it's just a 15 minute drive. I can't park my car faster and I almost scream at my stupid seatbelt, for not unbuckling fast enough. I get out of the car at the same time as him and I walk up to him, making an effort to stop myself from running to him. Austin's hands catch my face and I hug his waist. It's a mess of lips meeting teeth and tongue. My knees go weak and my skin feels like it's on fire, despite the chilly air outside. His hands travel down my body and reach the back of my thighs. "Jump!" He takes his lips away from mine for long enough to say that and then his back, calming my mouth again hungry and intense. I do as told and jump up , wrapping my leg around his waist. I'm so caught up in the feeling of his arms wrapped around my frame, that I don't feel is move until my back meets a wall and the cold seeps through my thin tank top making me shiver. "Fuck, I have to unlock the door" I laugh at how angry it makes him, that he as to stop what we're doing to do something as simple as unlocking the door.

I start to get off of him, but his hands hold my legs in place and he shakes his head. "Stay!" He says. I feel one of his hands move to the front of his pants. Austin grunts in frustration when the key doesn't seem to want to fit in the hole. "Fucking shit!" He curses under his breath and I giggle at him. Putting my hand over his shaking one, I help him put the key in the hole and in a second the door is unlocked and slammed open. "What would I do without you?" He asks smiling up at me. "Fuck on the front porch?" I say shrugging my shoulders. "Someday, sure, you just wait!" I'd laugh if he didn't look so serious right about now. I feel his chest shake with laughter as he wraps his arms around my waist to hold me close as he walks inside, closing the door behind him. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you Butler, I might take you out on that" I whispered in his ear and his whole body gets tense. "Such a tease, who would've thought." He says clicking his tongue. I giggle pressing my lips to the shell of his ear.

When we get to his bedroom he slowly crawls on the bed, with me tightly wrapped around him. Then my back hits the fluffy bed and it all feels so real. He must of felt that I was worrying, because he turns my face to look at him. "We go as far as you want, ok? You have the lead here, baby. I'm all yours!" He says kissing the top of my nose, making my heart skip a beat. I nod and bring him in for a kiss, his body resting over mine, bringing in a new kind of warmth. I feel safe and hungry, but not hungry for food, hungry for his touch, for him to melt into me. Before I become aware of my fingers, they had already slipped under his shirt, feeling his skin, soft and radiating heat.

I gasp at the feeling of his hips slowing moving against mine. "Ah, Austin, please!" I say moving his shirt up so I can finally bare his chest. His lips trail kisses from the corner of my mouth, over my jaw, down my neck, stopping there a little longer to suck and lick, making me move under him, trying to get my hips to meet his. I can feel him through his sweatpants and when his crotch grinds over mine, is hypnotic, the feeling building in my lower belly. When his calloused hands move under my top, raising it up, my breath picks up, his mouth is busy leaving open-mouthed, soft-lipped kisses over the tender flesh of my shoulder. Before the material goes up, over my breasts his stops. "Can I?" He ask and I somehow manage to moan a breathy 'yes'.

When Austin throws the garment somewhere in the room and I'm bare in front of him, I try to cover myself, but he stops me. "You are you beautiful, please never hide from me, (y/n)." He goes back to planting wet kisses all over my shoulder and then he slowly moves down. My hands fly up to his hair, as he sucks one of my nipples in his mouth. It's feels so good, I throw my head back and moan, pulling on his hair. He growls against me and I feel the vibrations rummage in my chest. One of his hands is holding my hips in place, while the other massages the breast that's not in his mouth, twisting the nipple in between the rough pads of his fingers. "Austin, baby, feels so good!" I hum, drunk on the pleasure. His mouth switches places with his hand, showing both of my breasts the same kind of love. "You make such pretty noises." He moans against my nipple and I fight his grip, to grind my hips up into him. "Please!" I'm begging for his to do more, to touch me more. I can feel him smile and I tug his hair.

Austin leaves open-mouthed kisses all over my stomach and when he reaches my shorts, hooking two fingers in the waist band, he looks up at me. His eyes are so full of lust, there's barely any blue left. "I'm going to take these off, can I?" I nod frantically, brushing the hair out of my face. "Yes, please!" I pant. He takes them off slowly, along with my panties. Getting off of the bed, he takes off my shoes, which I still had on and then starts to undress himself. I look away, feeling my cheeks burn. "Don't look away, look at me." I look at him, but I keep my eyes fixed on his. That is of course until he moves down to take his own shoes off and discard the pants and boxers, that pooled at his feet. Wow, he's beautiful, all of him. Sure I've seen men naked before, I'm going to be a doctor, so anatomically the human body is no mystery. But I've never felt like this like I want to touch and memorize every inch of him, like I want to know the way every patch of skin feels under my lips.

He climbs on top of me, hands holding my waist, and lips hungrily engulfing mine. I can feel him hard against my belly and I move under him, causing my skin to touch his penis. He moans into the kiss. "I want to kiss you here." He says, one of his big hands cupping my pussy. I shudder at the new sensation, bucking against his hand. "Yes, please, Austin" licking his lips he moves down my body, hooking my legs over his shoulders, grabbing my thighs to keep them open. The position suddenly makes me feel nervous and shy, so I try to close my legs but he won't allow it. Feeling me move his eyes snap up at me. "You ok? Do you want me to stop?" I shake my head, trying to find the right words to say. "No, just, I'm not pretty Austin, it's just, you looking at me like this, what if, I mean, I'm not-" I can't make sense of what I'm saying but he understands. "You are the most beautiful girl, (y/n), I love every bit of you. I love you belly" he goes over to kiss my belly, grazing the skin with his teeth and making me giggle at the ticklish feeling. "I love you thighs" he says and moves to kissing over my hip all the way to my inner thighs. Making me squirm underneath his touch. Austin is kissing, biting and licking everywhere, everywhere, but where he promised. "Austin please!" I whine, buckling my hips up.

First I feel his hot breath and then I feel his soft, warm lips, kissing and sucking. Then his hot tongue licks at me. I whimper, pulling at his hair with one hand, the other one, grabbing the sheets. "So sweet, keep making those pretty noises baby, you sound heavenly." He praises me, going back to continue his ministrations on me. His tongue flicks and twirls around my clit, driving me crazy, turning me into a moaning mess. I feel one of his sleek fingers play at my hole and then he pushes it slowly. I move against him, trying to feel more. Austin catches onto my frustration and easing a second finger in, he gives me a moment to adjust to the stretch. "So tight and sweet, such a lovely pussy, all mine." I grunt as he curls his fingers up, moving them in and out of me, sucking and licking at my clit. It's all too much, it's so good and intoxicating. My hips buckle to meet his moves. The knot forming in my lower belly, feels like it's closer to snapping, I get tense, this is all new for me. "Relax baby, you're going to cum, come on, don't hold back" Austin says as the hand that was preoccupied with holding my hips in place, moves up to my boobs, pinching my nipples. That's when I feel it, the knot snapping and everything around me going blurry. I bite the back of my hand to stop myself from screaming. As I pull in his hair he moans against me as he's still playing with my clit, slowly moving his fingers to help me ride my high.

Pulling his fingers out of me, the empty feeling makes me whine, as I clench around nothing. Austin licks his fingers clean as he moves over to the nightstand to get a condom out of the drawer. Coming back over me, he sits on his knees in between my legs. "Want to help me?" He ask, and I snap my eyes, that were previously looked on his hard cock, up at his face. He's smiling at me and that somehow eases my nerves. I nod and he takes my hand by the wrist, guiding it to his length. "Just, wrap your hand around it" I do as he says and look at the muscles in his abdomen move. Guiding my hand up and down, he moans, throwing his head back and cursing. My heart flutters knowing I can make him feel like this. His hand leaves mine and I move on my own as he opens the condom. Putting the condom on his tip he speaks. "Pinch the tip of the condom and roll it down slowly, it's ok if you get it wrong, I have more." He laughs as he finishes the sentence. With all the concentration I can muster I do as he says. "Perfect!" His hand grabs my chin and tilts it up so I look at him.

Austin kisses me slowly, pushing me against the bed, caging me. One of his hands is holding him up so that he's not crushing me under his weight and the other moves between us to bring himself up to my entrance. I can fell the tip resting there and he puts his hand on my hip to stop me from thrusting into him. "Are you sure you want this? We can stop, if-" I kiss him to stop the unnecessary babbling. "I love you, I'm sure." He tenses up and brings his face up to look at me. "You what?" He ask unsure that what he heard was real. I stroke his face gently. "I love you! I don't think I've ever stopped" he blinks quickly and even I the dark I can see the tears welling up in his eyes, but then I feel the hot liquid touch my face and roll off of my skin. His lips ghost over mine, I can taste the salt in his tears and the sweetness of him. He pulls away quickly, too quick. "Say it again." He demands and I smile. "I love you" he kisses me shortly and starts pushing in. "Again” he grunts. I moan feeling him slowly stretch me, it's definitely a lot more than his fingers and it stings a lot, but somehow there's pleasure in the pain. "I love you" kiss "I love you!" Kiss.

We go like this until his all the way in and his pelvis hits mine. It's hurts a lot and I try to breathe through it. Austin kisses my face, my lips, my eyes, my nose, everything. "I love you too, you're doing so good for me, baby" I squeeze him and his hips flutter against mine. Feeling him move  brings a new kind of good to the mixture. "Move please." He pulls back slowly and then pushes back in, I feel so full and my walls hug him in. "God, so warm and perfect, made for me (y/n)" he huffs as he starts a steady pace. We move in sink, hips meeting halfway way and hands grabbing all that they can. "I love you, fuck this is so good!" I moan kissing him, walking my tongue over his lips. He gasps into my mouth and our tongues start to dance, battling for dominance. The knot from earlier comes back and I feel like I need more. "Aus, I'm close, more, please, shit!" He starts to move faster, covering my mouth with his, to swallow all my cries. Austin brings one hand between us and draws circles over my clit. "Cum for me, (y/n), come on baby!" He whispers in my ear and biting down on his shoulder, my orgasm wishes over me harder then before. His hips start to lose rhythm and his moves get sloppier, as he soon stills. Austin grunts and kisses over my shoulder as I feel him twitch inside me, while my walls still flutter around him, squeezing him, from my previous orgasm.

I feel so good, so warm and tired and when he moves over, to go into the bathroom, I shiver at the absence of his body on mine. He comes back with a towel in hand and he wipes it over my thighs, making me tremble, since I'm still sensitive there. When he’s done, Austin throws the towel somewhere in the room and moving me up on the bed he brings the coves over me. He joins me under the warm duvet and I hug his side. The feeling of his skin on mine must be the best thing I've ever experienced. "I love you!" I say sleepy as he strokes my hair with one hand, his other one moving up and down my upper arm. "I love you too!" He kisses the top of my head. "So does this mean I can still take you out tomorrow?" He mumbles against my hair.

I shake my head and as serious as I can I say "No, I just wanted you for the sex." His chest moves with laughter and the sound fills me up with joy. "Flattered to be at your service, ma'm!" Austin says making me giggle and bury my face in his shoulder. "Ok I may allow, one date, if you make me your famous breakfast tomorrow" his hands move me to lay on top of him, with my legs straddling his waist. I sit my head in the palms of my hands on top of his chest and look at him smiling. "Just one date?" Austin asks coming in for a kiss, but I pull my head back so he can't reach my lips. "Maybe, if the breakfast is extremely good, there will be more, than one!" One of his hands goes to the back of my head and as we both laugh we meet halfway in a quick kiss.

I remain like this on top of him, as his hands rest on my back. I play with his hair and rest my head on his chest, over his heart, listening to the beautiful sounds it makes. Our breaths calm down and soon sleep catches both of us. And we fall asleep like this, skin on skin, my ear over his heart, my hands his hair and his lips kissing my head. It's perfect, it's how it should've always been, just us.

Tags: @kittenlittle24 @amorx @cryingabtab @lexicox044 @lrissa @feral4austinbutler @sageskywalker @jesssssicaa @rainydayz101 @flwersgarden @bobthefishiesworld @captured-memory @homebodybirkin2003 @galaxygirl453 @butlerslut @chrisevansgirl34 @myradiaz @pennyroyalcreep @macey234 @im-lame-irl @lordandmistress @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @poppet05 @gabbywontlose @4shbug @0-thegoodwitch-0 @hauntedarchivesx @chewiethecatus @sunnyx07 @francesbloomer @jessaroni19 @finelineskies

[itsallyscorner]

This could be a request or not depending on how much time you have 😅 but for your information, yes, I am thinking Tom giving y/n hickies on her neck like the night before a bunch of interviews the next day and she's like, "Are you serious?" and he's like "I couldn't resist, I just love you so much!" and when y/n shows up the next day wearing a turtleneck after she told Zendaya that she would be wearing a dress Z immediately gets suspicious and figures it out bc I feel like she's like that 😅😂

Hehehe I haven’t written anything smutty lately and I miss it. So thank you for requesting this anon, much love to you🥰 Ugh, the thought of this gave me butterflies in my stomach😭 Happy reading!❤️

Also, little note for everyone who’s sending me requests! Yes, I see all of them! Part of the reason why I haven’t done some of them yet is because I have to think of concepts on how to execute them properly. So bear with me, love you all🥰

💌.

Love Bug

My soft boi🥺

Warnings: implied smut

(Gif from Pinterest)

The AC in your bedroom was just not doing you justice. The Californian heat was at an all time high today and has transformed you home into an Easy Bake oven. Though you were probably exaggerating, your thin crewneck sweater still clung onto your skin, making you uncomfortable. Peeling the sweater off your body, you toss it into your laundry basket. You’re left in a tank top and some lounging shorts as you sprawl yourself out on your bed. The coolness of the comforter bringing your body some relief from the heat.

Sinking into the sheets, the hustle and bustle of the day finally hits you. You’ve had a long day of press with your cast mates, promoting the movie you were all in, Spider-Man: Far From Home. You loved your job, but the press tours could just be so tiring. You were forced to wake up early in the morning and sit in a room for how many hours of the day to only be asked the same questions (most of the time). Though press tours did have its pros, meeting fans around the world and traveling to new countries was something you always looked forward to.

Marvel being Marvel, they always had to make it big. For the last few weeks you have all been traveling around the world, tired but nonetheless having an amazing time. Thankfully, this was the last stop of the press tour, California. You were back in your own bed and your boyfriend was staying with you for the time being.

You were on your phone, going through Instagram and looking at various photos that were taken today during today’s press engagements. You’ve even made your own contribution and posted your own batch of selfies and funny videos.

The door to the connected bathroom in your room opens and reveals your boyfriend. Your eyes break their focus on your phone and shift to the man in front of you. You smile and turn your phone off giving him all your attention. A smile forms on his own lips as he crawls up the bed to join you.

“Missed you all day.” He whispers against your skin, placing his head on your chest. His arms are wrapped around your figure, one leg hooked over yours. You move the hood of his sweatshirt from over his head and began to run your hands through his hair.

“Mmm, I missed you too.” He cuddles closer to your chest, arms tightening around you. His eyes momentarily shut, basking in your soothing motions.

“How was your day with Jake?” You ask him. As much as Tom wanted to do press with you, he was stuck doing them with Jake, while you did your interviews with Z and Jacob. Tom enjoyed having his interviews with Jake, but he missed being near you, even if you were just a room away.

Tom shifts so his lips are near the skin of your exposed neck. He hums against you before his lips come into contact with the soft surface. He had been tempted to mark you up all day. You wore a beautiful spring dress with a low neckline that displayed the skin of your neck. All he wanted to do was scatter red and purple love bites all over you, letting the world know you were his.

You gasp as he nips on the space between your neck and shoulder. “Interviews were good, but I just couldn’t get you out my head.” He slots himself between your legs and presses you down into the mattress.

“Teasing me with the pretty little dress of yours. Just wanted to kiss you and mark you up.” He says huskily against your neck. His breath sent shivers down your spine as goosebumps formed on your skin. His mouth sucks harder on the spot, teeth nipping gently, while his tongue soothed the bruising spot. He moved up so one of his hands are holding him up beside your head while his other strokes your side.

“Baby, we have an early morning tomorrow.” You didn’t want him to stop, but it was currently 2am and you were both expected to be awake by 6am.

His lips have made their way to the other side of you neck, pressing light kisses that turned to open mouthed ones. You giggle gently pulling him away from your neck so you can look him in the eyes.

“Babyyy.” He whines trying to shove his head back into the spot. A pout is on his lips, which were now a darker shade of pink from how much he was sucking on your skin.

“Tom, we need to be up at six.” You reminded him. Tom leans closer a boyish grin now on his expression. You couldn’t help but kiss him back when his lips captured yours. You feel him smirk against you as he pulls away.

The hand on your side moves to cradle the side of your face, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. “We’ll be quick, I just wanna feel you. Please?”

You stare at him for a moment as his hand drifts down your body and by your shorts. Excitement swirls in your belly as his fingers get closer to your growing heat. He kisses your cheek as his hand slips past the band of your shorts to cup your mound. The wetness brings a smirk to his face as his dark eyes gaze into yours.

“Baby, look how wet you are.” He praises you as he moves your panties aside and dips his fingers into your wetness. You sigh, eyes slightly rolling back as his fingers spread your wetness on your folds.

“Fine, but—“ You bring your finger to point again him, “No marks on my neck, I’m wearing a dress tomorrow with a low cut again.”

Tom nods connecting your lips again, “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” He assures you before diving his head back into your neck.

~next morning~

You enter the bathroom, tying your hair up to keep it away from your face. You turn the shower on and wait for the water to warm up. While you wait you take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes widen when you get a glimpse of you neck. You gasp out loud as you see the sides of your neck with red bruises with hints of purple on them. You had them on both sides of your neck and a small one almost on the center of your throat.

“TOM!” You yell, your voice echoing in the bathroom. There was some rustling behind the door before it was yanked open. Tom entered in nothing but his boxers looking disheveled, hair pointing in all types of direction and his eyes barely open.

“What happened?” His voice was raspy, something that usually made you swoon but right now you couldn’t even focus on it.

You turn to him, aggressively pointing to your neck. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful!” You mock him, repeating what he said to you last night before he railed you into the mattress.

Tom’s eyes widen as well before he cringed. To be fair, you did warn him. He just didn’t know how to hold back when it came to you. He cautiously approaches you a sheepish grin on his face.

“I know it looks bad..” he begins. You shoot him a look, “Are you serious right now? Tom it looks like an octopus strangled me!”

Tom moves back to look at you, “Well you weren’t complaining last night.” You shoot him another look and he nods knowing you were annoyed with him at the moment. He stands behind you looking at the mirror you were both in front of. His arms wrap around your torso as he tries to soften you up.

“I’m sorry, I just love you so much and I couldn’t resist it. I love making love to you and I just get so lost in it and I know you warned me too, I’m sorry.” He apologizes hugging you from behind. You could tell he actually felt bad by the genuine look in his eyes. You sigh leaning back into him and resting your hands above his, interlocking your fingers.

“I forgive you, it happens.” You mumble, head trying to come up with ways to cover up your neck. “How do I even cover this up?”

Tom looks at your neck through the mirror, “Makeup will work right? Just put on some concealer or that color corrector thing you use.”

You nod at his suggestion. “That’ll work for a few hours, but makeup wears off. What if I accidentally wipe it off?”

Tom pursed his lips together in thought, “You could ask Laura to bring you something with a turtleneck.”

“It’ll barely move and your neck will be covered the entire time.” He suggests.

“Yeah, it’ll probably work. I just hope she hasn’t left yet, I should text her.” You move from Tom’s hold and turn the shower off. Before you leave the bathroom, Tom pulls you into a hug again. His face nuzzles against your hair, “I’m sorry, again.”

You smile and stroke his back, “I told you I forgive you, it’s ok love.” You pull away and peck his lips. Tom smiles and leans down to kiss your shoulder. Something he always did when you guys were having a moment. Instantly, you jump back and push him off, “Get your fucking lips away from my neck. I don’t need anymore hickies right now.”

~later~

Your stylist, Laura, ended up bringing you a stunning white dress that stopped above your knees. It was short sleeved, hugged your curves perfectly, and had a turtleneck that covered your neck. She gave you a pair of leather knee high boots which pulled the look together. Your hair was curled, pulled back into a half up and down style while short strands of hair framed your face. Compared to the panic you felt when your first saw the hickies, you were relieved when you saw yourself in the mirror again an hour later. You felt like a modern Go Go Girl as you admired your outfit.

You arrived at the hotel where all the interviews were being held. You make your rounds of greeting everyone, saving Z and Jacob last since you’ll be with them the whole day. You enter the room and see the two of them already sitting in front of the cameras. Jacob spots you first, “Aye! Good morning!”

You smile and walk up to them, giving them both hugs. When you pull away from Z she gives you a look. Her eyes scan you from head to toe, squinting at your dress.

“Weren’t you just complaining that yesterday was too hot? Why are you in a turtleneck?” She interrogates you. You smile nervously at her while you settle in the seat on the other side of Jacob.

“Um, you know, it’s a bit chilly today.” You lie. Jacob eyes you as well catching on Z’s point.

“(Y/n), it’s 95 degrees outside.” He tells you eyes panning around the room. Zendaya smirks leaning forward to get a better look at you, “I think someone was busy last night.”

“No, I wasn’t. I had a very nice sleep, thank you very much.” You sweetly smile at her crossing your arms.

Jacob snickers beside you, “I bet you did.”

“I guess Thomas couldn’t keep his hands off you last night.” She teased, exposing you.

“Or his mouth.” Jacob quickly adds smirking. Your cheeks get flustered squeezing your eyes shut. Jacob and Z burst out laughing at Jacob’s comment.

“I don’t even have a come back, blame Tom.” You throw your hands up in the air giving up. Z calms down and leans over Jacob to rest a hand on your knee.

“Hey, it’s ok, man. If I were Tom, I wouldn’t keep my hands off you either.” She tells you jokingly, helping you get over the embarrassment of wearing a turtleneck. You catch on and wink at her, “Aye, say less.” Your hand resting on top of hers.

Jacob puts his hands up looking shocked, “What did I just walk into? I—I gotta go.” He pretends to shove your hands away and gets up from his seat.

“I’m telling Tom about the sexual tension I felt in this room.” He yells over his shoulder as he walks out the room. You and Z look at each other amused, “Is he actually?”

Z shrugged, “Honestly, he’s probably getting some water. He was thirsty.”

The two of you catch up with each other. Talking about the press tour and what you were both planning on wearing for the premiere. You were in the middle of describing your dress when Tom bursts into the room with Jacob trailing behind him.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN.”

[buckyssoldat]

The one (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Sharon confesses her love to Steve and his girlfriend accidentally hears it, which leaves her insecure and confused. Does Steve love her or Sharon?

Word count: 2650

Warnings: fluff mixed with angst and sadness, alcohol consumption, strong language, mentions of sex, implied smut

A/N: Hope everyone likes this! Also, please check my fic ‘Forsaken - The Fallen Soldier’. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)

Her eyes pooled with water as she watched her best friends in the living room of their apartment. She and Steve had been together for almost two years and everything was great, well, except for one thing – Sharon Carter, her best friend in the whole world, was in love with her boyfriend.

Both Sharon and Steve thought they were home alone. They started drinking late at night, which led them to play some games. The one being played at the moment was to tell their deep and darkest secrets. They didn’t hear her come in, so they continued playing the game. And she entered her apartment right when Sharon was exposing hers.

“Steve…” she heard Sharon say while looking at him, “I have always loved you…”

It was in that exact moment that she felt her heart break into million pieces. Sharon was one of her best friends and she trusted her with her whole life, but there was always a part in her that felt jealous of hear, even though she didn’t show it, or at least she tried not to. Having the perfect boyfriend, one of the best agents at Shield, being so beautiful and strong, and the way Steve would sometimes look at her. She had noticed it since she first joined the team. She even thought he was in love with Sharon, but those feelings went away when they finally started dating. She would sometimes feel a bit jealous of their close friendship, but she knew Steve loved her and would never leave her. Seeing Sharon professing her love for him made her feel insecure again, especially after the way Steve looked at her, as if he were ready to confess his love for her as well.

After that unexpected confession, she entered the living room, pretending she didn’t hear what had happened. The best way to deal with it was not dealing with it, or at least that was what she thought. When Steve noticed her presence, he went immediately to her arms, happy to see her home. She did hug him back, but Steve noticed something was wrong with her, especially after seeing her reject Sharon’s hug and giving her a smile instead before going back to the kitchen to make herself some coffee. He decided to speak with her once Sharon left, which happened just a few minutes later. She sensed her best friend was acting strange, so she decided to leave the couple alone and go home.

“You were acting weird” Steve said as he took another bite of the pizza they had ordered for dinner, “Did something happen at work? Was Nat too hard on you during training? She can be like that sometimes, but she doesn’t mean it.”

“I wasn’t acting strange” she answered without looking at him.

“You were. I felt it when I hugged you and then you rejected Sharon’s hug. Did I do something wrong? If I did, please tell me what it was. I hate seeing you like this.”

she sighed before finally locking eyes with her boyfriend, “You did nothing wrong, Steve. I’m just tired from training all day, nothing more.�� She got up from the couch and patted his shoulder, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Steve.”

He didn’t even have the time to answer her, as she was already inside his bedroom, ready to go to sleep.

Once she was inside their bedroom, she took off all her clothes and picked an old t-shirt from his closet. As she laid down on the bed, she was engulfed by his scent, which was the final straw for her. The tears she had been trying to hold while she ate dinner with Steve were finally running down her cheeks and falling on the pillowcase. Why was she so insecure? Steve loved her more than anything and would never intentionally hurt her. Sharon was not a threat to their relationship, she was happily in a relationship with Frank and would never leave him. So why was she feeling so sad and insecure, afraid to lose the only person she ever truly loved? Steve entered the bedroom only a few minutes later, making her clean her wet cheeks as quick as she could before he noticed. He took off all his clothes, except his boxers, and laid next to her. As usual, he stretched his arms so they could fall asleep cuddling each other, but she immediately moved away from him.

He called her name, trying to figure out what was happening with her, but she didn’t answer him. Deciding that it was best to let her sleep, he shifted himself around, turning her back on her. And for the first time since the couple started dating, they slept with their backs to each other.

 It was almost nine in the morning when Steve woke up. Luckily, the entire team had the day off, so he didn’t have to worry about going to work. He turned around, ready to meet his lover, but he only found an empty side of the bed and a note on top of her pillow.

Going off the grid for a few days. Already talked with Nat. Be back for Tony and Pepper’s wedding. I love you.

At first, he double checked the calligraphy in the note to make sure it was hers. Then, he thought it was a prank and that was gonna be waiting for him in the kitchen, but when he got up and didn’t find her there, he started to panic. Picking up his phone, he tried to call her, but she had left her phone on top of the coffee table. Next option was to call Natasha since she said in her note she had already talked with her, but her phone was off, so he got dressed and went to her apartment.

After ringing Nat’s bell for almost a minute straight, she finally opened the door, wearing a robe and yawning.

“Cap? Is everything alright?” she asked as she motioned him to come in.

“Where is she?” he questioned, already inside of her living room.

“Um, I don’t know Steve” Nat started to get worried about her friends. “She called me at 6am saying that she needed a break until Tony’s wedding. I thought she told you.”

“She didn’t.” Steve was pacing back and forth in front of the couch, nervously running his hands through his hair. “I woke up this morning and she was already gone. She left me this.” He handed the note to her. “I’m worried about her, Natasha. She was acting strange yesterday, but I was gonna talk to her about it today and now she’s gone and she-”

“Steve,” Nat interrupted him, “She is okay, I’m sure of it. The wedding is in just four days and she will be back by then. Whatever she’s going through, you’re gonna solve it together, but if she needs space, you gotta give her space, otherwise she will never come back. You know how she is, she doesn’t handle pressure well.”

“I just… I just wanna know what’s bothering her so I can help her get through it.” Steve’s voice was much calmer than it was before.

Nat went to his side and put her hand on his shoulder, “Just wait until Tony’s wedding and then you’ll talk to her.”

 The next four days were like hell for Steve. He couldn’t stop worrying about her, thinking about where she was and if she was safe or not. The morning of Tony’s wedding, Steve got dressed and went to the venue. When he arrived there, he saw her happily speaking to Thor. There was a time where Steve was extremely jealous of the god of thunder. When he joined the team, him and her immediately started flirting back and forth. Back then, Steve and she weren’t dating yet, but he loved her. He accidentally found out that she and Thor were sleeping together when he went to her place late at night. It was something they usually did, go to each other’s apartments when one of them couldn’t sleep. That night, Steve was so distraught about Thor that he didn’t even text her he was coming over. When she opened her front door, she was only wearing a big white t-shirt that barely covered her bottom. The first thing Steve noticed was how effortlessly beautiful she looked; the second thing was that she wouldn’t wear that kind of t-shirt; the third thing was the t-shirt was a men’s shirt.

 “I’m sorry, I forgot to ask you if I could come over” Steve cocked his head to the right, getting a clear view of her living room, where clothes were scattered all over the place. That was when he noticed the hammer on top of her coffee table. And then he remembered Thor was wearing a white t-shirt that day. “I didn’t know you had company. I’m sorry, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Yeah, um…” her cheeks were burning with embarrassment. She knew Steve noticed the clothes and the hammer on her living room and the men’s t-shirt she was wearing, “this isn’t really a good time, but I can get dressed and we can go to your apartment. It’s fine Steve, really, I just gotta-”

“No,” he interrupted her, “it’s okay. I should have asked if I could come over. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? Have fun.” Steve immediately left, not giving her an opportunity to answer him.

 Since she and Thor stopped sleeping together, Steve never felt jealous of him again, especially after the Asgardian reassured him he didn’t have feelings for her and that he should tell her how he felt about her.

When the couple finally locked eyes, she looked away, continuing her conversation with Thor. Stee went to Sharon so they could finally talk about her confession a few days ago. Little did he know was that she saw them together and got closer to the pair without them noticing so she could hear the conversation. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on her boyfriend and her best friend, but she had to. What if Steve was telling Sharon he had always loved her as well? It was possible. Sharon loved Steve even though she had Frank. What if she was like Frank?

It wasn’t the conversation that broke her heart even more, but the look Steve had on his face as he watched Sharon walk away. In her mind, he looked at her as if she was his whole world, as if she was the only person he had ever loved. She thought Steve looked at Sharon like she thought he looked at her and that broke her completely, but she couldn’t ruin Tony and Pepper’s special day, so she had to hold it together. Every time Steve tried to approach her, she would sneak her way around and dodge him.

After telling a couple of funny stories about Tony to Pepper, she made her way to the bar so she could grab another drink, but the bartender wasn’t there. She decided to sit in one of the stools and wait. When Steve saw her alone, he went to her. This was his opportunity to finally talk to her for the first time in almost five days.

“Hey” he said as he sat next to her.

“Hi” she mumbled as she fidgeted with her fingers.

“I’m sorry.”

She let out a snarky laugh, “You don’t even know what you’re sorry for, Steve, so why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t, but-”

“Do you love her back?”

“What?” Steve asked confused.

“I know what Sharon confessed to you that night. I know how she feels about you. My question is, do you love her back or not?”

“How do you-”

“Just answer me, Steve.”

“No, I don’t love her. I mean, I do love her, but not like that anymore. I stopped loving her as soon as I saw you walk in into the tower.”

He tried to put his hand on top of her, but she quickly dismissed his touch. She didn’t believe what he had just said, not after seeing the way he looked at Sharon. Steve loved Sharon and she was just a replacement since he couldn’t have the real deal. She got up, but he gently grabbed her wrist.

“Please, I’m telling you the truth.”

“Let me go. This is Tony and Pepper’s day, I don’t wanna cause a scene, so let me go, Cap. Now.” Steve did as she asked and let go of her wrist. “Call me when you decide to stop lying.”

She left him alone at the bar. Sharon didn’t hear their conversation, but she noticed the way she looked as she made her way to Tony and Pepper to apologize for leaving so early. Sharon wanted to go to Steve, but she knew it would only make him feel worse about himself. She was sure he was in love with his girlfriend and that she was the love of his life, but she was also sure that her confession had left him confused.

 She took off a couple more days. No one knew why, only Steve. Sharon suspected it was because of her, but she didn’t say anything. She got the confirmation when she didn’t visit her at the hospital after she was hurt in a mission. The only thing she got from her was a text saying “Glad you’re okay” and nothing more.

After almost one week and a half, she finally decided to text her boyfriend.

I’m ready to talk, you can come over. If you want to.

As soon as he saw that text, he sped up to their apartment. Truth was, he missed her like crazy and couldn’t go on one more day without her. Bucky was right – she was the one.

When he got there, she was sitting on their couch in the living room, a cup of coffee between her hands, waiting for him to arrive.

“Hey” he said as he joined her on the couch.

“Hi” she replied.

“So…” Steve began, “I just wanted to come clear with you – Sharon did tell me she had always loved me, and it’s true that I loved her in the past, but that changed the second you entered the tower. I fell in love the second I laid my eyes on you. And you might think I’m lying, but I’m not. I wouldn’t do that, not to you. If I loved Sharon, I would be with her. But I love you, and only you. You’re the only one and you will always be. You’re the one.”

“Steve…”

“Please, don’t leave. I can’t live without you.”

“I’m not leaving. I wanted to apologize for my behaviour. What I did was stupid and childish, I should have never run away from you, or Sharon. I just got… insecure.”

He put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, “You have nothing to be insecure of. You’re the most beautiful person in the whole world for me and I love you more than I can ever explain.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. I really am.”

“I know you are, but I’m not the only one who deserves an apology. Sharon has been worried about you, she loves you and misses you. She was really upset when you didn’t come visit her at the hospital.”

“Don’t worry” she smiled at him, “I already talked and apologized to her before I got here. She said she was sorry for sharing that secret. We’re cool now.”

“That’s good, sweetheart” Steve grabbed her by the hips and pulled her on his lap, “Now let me show you how much I love you.”

She giggled before she grabbed him by the neck and kissed him on the lips, happy to be by his side again.

masterlist

[random-of-random]

The Secret - Chapter 3

The Apartment

A/N: Hey lovelies! Again, thank you for reading and liking! I have a procedure tomorrow so I may take a few days off, but I will try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible!

When Y/N helped Graves onto his couch, she let out a small huff of annoyance. He had complained all the way from the car.

“We should have apparated.” His voice was still weak, but full of judgment.

“You're too weak to apparate.” She reminded him, for the third time.

“Well that no-maj torture device wasn't any better.”

“That was an automobile, and it's one of their newest major inventions. It’s just starting to get popular. You have to admire how they get around.”

“I don't have to admire anything.” He grumbled causing her to roll her eyes. “Besides, you didn't need to help me walk into my own house.”

Her eyebrows raised. “I'm sorry your majesty. Next time I will let you crawl.” It was going to be a long three days. She could feel it. Even knowing him for a year, she was sure he wouldn't do well being on forced bed rest.

“If you wouldn’t mind, in my office are some files. I can, at least, get some work done.” Yep, there it was. He pointed to a closed door to her left.

“Percival, it’s after midnight.”

“Yes, and?”

“You really need some sleep.”

She saw his jaw clench and his eyes narrow. “Miss Y/L/N, I am going to be forced to get plenty of sleep. As long as I am home I don’t want to be useless.”

“You’re not useless you’re-“

“The files. Mrs. Y/L/N.” It wasn’t a request anymore, and she knew if she refused again he would be up on his feet, getting them for himself. So, as she headed for the door she allowed herself to roll her eyes.

Percival’s apartment would surprise a lot of people. It was warm. A decent size, they had passed a kitchen and dining room before getting to the living room. At the opposite end of the living room was a hallway, she could only assume to the bedroom and bathroom.

As the door swung open she almost laughed to see it was as disorganized as his work office had been. Turning on a light she let her eyes adjust a moment before focusing on the stack of files on his desk. The whole room smelled like him, and it was likely this was where he spent most of his time. There were accolades hanging on the wall, and a pair of reading glasses on his desk. She let out a sigh before grabbing the files and heading back to the living room. Setting the files on the table he leaned forward and opened the first one.

Y/N checked her watch. “Mr. Graves you need to take your next dose of potions at 2.” He looked up at her and slightly smiled. She must have been frustrated with him if she called him Mr. Graves. “If you are alright I’m going to quickly go to my apartment and grab a few things.”

“That’s fine.” He said, turning his focus back to the case he was working. Y/N nodded and was gone with a pop.

She landed in the middle of her, much smaller, living room. Everything was pitch black for a second until she switched on a lamp. She allowed herself a moment to just lean against her chair and take a few shaky breaths. When she had gone to Percival’s office to retrieve his effects before they headed for his home, she had allowed herself to cry, briefly. The idea of losing him had become painful, though she was sure she could never tell him that. Sitting down, those feelings washed over her again, never listening to his stories, seeing his small smile, catching him off guard and making him laugh. She felt the tears pouring down her face and she let out a small sob. Pushing the feelings away she stood and headed into her bedroom. Grabbing a bag she quickly picked a few clothes, wiping her eyes periodically. Once she felt she had enough for a few days she used her wand to turn off her lights and back to Percival’s she went. She appeared near his front door, not wanting to startle him.

He was still working on the same file, his eyes focused on the paper in front of him. She set the bag down at the end of the couch.

“What are you doing Miss Y/L/N?”

“I figured I would be sleeping on the couch.”

“No need. There is a guest room. First door on the left, down the hall.” He answered quickly. “Though, were there not a guest room, I would be taking the couch.”

“Were there not a guest room you would not. You’re injured and need rest.”

Percival finally looked up at her, more to argue, but stopped. “Y/N, are you alright?” She realized her eyes must have been red.

“I’m fine, sir.” She assured him. “I should put this bag in the spare room, sir.” He watched her walk away, not taking his eyes off of her until she had turned the corner.

The spare room was about the size of her bedroom at home. Simple: a bed, dresser, lamp, and a nightstand. She set her bag down and looked at the mirror next to the dresser. It was no wonder he noticed. Her eyes were puffy and red. It was clear she had been crying. Taking in a slow breath she pulled her wand from her jacket and quickly hid what she could, before placing the jacket on the bed and heading back to the living room. Percival was no longer engrossed in a case file, in fact the file was closed and back on the pile.

“Can I get you something, sir.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked sincerely.

Y/N shook her head. “It was momentary, I’m fine. Would you like something to drink or eat?”

“Y/N? Please be honest with me.”

Y/N looked to the floor and back up into his eyes, choosing her words carefully. “Tonight was just frightening that’s all. I was worried, and emotions built up.” Percival began to stand, and she was next to him in a second. “You really shouldn’t get up. I know, I need to learn to control my emotions better.”

He looked at her for a moment. “Do you believe that’s what I was going to say to you?” Y/N was stuck, unsure of what to say. Percival wrapped his arms around her, and her pulled her softly against his chest. “It’s okay for situations like this to be frightening. You did everything you needed to. You held it together. No one could ask anymore of you. When you are alone you’re allowed to feel those emotions. You’re human, Y/N.” His voice was calm, quiet, comforting and she felt herself relax into him, his warmth, his words.

“Thank you, Percival.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she could have sworn the ghost of a kiss touched the top of her head before he pulled away.

——————————

Percival had barely made it to the 2AM hour for his potions. Despite pretending like everything was fine, he was weak and exhausted.

So, Y/N dreaded waking him up for his 6AM potion. She must have stood at his door for a full minute. This would be her going into his bedroom. Even at 2 he had still been on the couch, and she had merely helped him to the door after. Taking a deep breath her knuckles rapped on the wood. Nothing.

“Percival?” She called out, knocking again.

“Come in.” She heard his voice say. Opening the door, she was surprised to find him sitting up in bed. She could see his blue and white striped night shirt, and a black blanket was pulled up to his waist. The room itself was sparse. A large bed in the center, directly across from the door, a window to her right, and a dresser and mirror to her left. On the nightstand was a small lamp, which was on, and more files. Something clunky was under the files, but she couldn’t see what.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but it’s time for your potions.”

“I needed to be up anyway.” He said quickly. “I have to go into the office today.”

Y/N let out a small laugh. “That’s not happening.”

“I think someone is going to notice if I’m not there.” Percival didn’t like to toot his own horn, but he had worked consistently and with any luck was about to be named the next Head of Magical Law Enforcement.

“I’ve already left word with Arthur that you wouldn’t be coming in for a few days, plus your doctor has informed Madame President.” Y/N explained. “If you would like I can go in and explain it myself.”

“You don’t have to do that.” He answered and she handed him his first potion, which he drank down quickly. It tasted slightly of some sort of fruit. Not entirely unpleasant. The second one, however, tasted of metal and he worked to not make a face getting it down.

“You should get some more sleep.” Y/N suggested, taking the bottles.

“I can get some work done.”

“Percival.” Her voice was softer than he was used to and it made him look into her deep brown eyes.

“Please, for me, get some more sleep. It’s the best way to let your body heal. I promise when you wake up next I will bring you whatever files you would like.

He considered his options for a moment. “Alright, those are acceptable terms.” A small smile played on his face.

“Good.” Y/N gave him a small nod before quickly leaving his room, pausing just outside to catch her breath. She certainly never expected to be in his apartment, let alone his bedroom.

————————————

By the time Percival woke at 9 Y/N had breakfast ready and waiting. He felt almost groggy - it had been a long time since he woken up so late. Usually he was up by 5, and rarely ever slept in past 7 - even on his days off.

He slowly walked toward his dining room, lured by the scent of bacon and pancakes. He watched Y/N for a moment as she hummed to herself and continued to make food.

“You didn’t have to-“ His sudden words startled her and she let out a small shout as she jumped and stared at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t help but chuckle. “-do that, Miss Y/L/N. I am sorry I startled you.”

“Percival.” She abandoned the food for a moment to quickly walk over to him. “Please, have a seat.” She pulled out the head chair to the dining room table, and Percival tentatively sat before she headed back toward the kitchen. “And, no, It’s fine.” She tried to calm her racing heart. “And it’s my pleasure. You need to eat, so do I.” She placed a plate of food on the table in front of him. Percival had tried his best to hide how weak his body felt, he didn’t want to appear frail. Y/N saw right through it. “Coffee?”

“Please.”

“Coming right up.” She grabbed him a steaming mug of coffee, along with her own breakfast, and sat down to eat.

“I know I didn’t have the ingredients for all of this.” Percival said as he looked at the array of food. Y/N had made bacon and pancakes. Also muffins - two different kinds - and sliced grapefruit.

“You didn’t. I went out earlier.” Taking a small sip of her coffee, she couldn’t help but tease. “Tell me, Percival, how does a head auror get by day to day on coffee alone?”

“I eat at the office a lot.” He answered simply before taking a bite of pancake and letting out a soft sigh. It was delicious. “Thank you for this. It’s…. Nice.” So, flirting was not his strong suit.

“Your next dose of medicine is in a little less than an hour. Work sent over some files for you.”

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” She looked up at him and he was slowly chewing a piece of bacon, smiling at her. He tried to think of something to say, but his words were failing. He never failed to charm her when he was at the office. Maybe he was noticing how the sunlight coming through the window played in her hair. Or the fact that the bacon was the best he had tasted. Or, maybe he was realizing that she didn’t have to do any of this. She could have left him with the healers or arranged for a nurse. Instead she was sleeping in her boss’s guest room and barely sleeping, at that, so she could take care of him.

“After breakfast I would like to get some work done. Just because I’m not at the office doesn’t mean there aren’t things I can do.” He had blown it.

She still smiled. “Sure. Not a problem, sir.”

The rest of the meal was mostly in silence, but neither one of them seemed to mind, and just like she promised after breakfast Percival moved into his home office and started getting to work on the files.

He had read for about thirty minutes when he checked his watch. It was nearing 10, but no sign of Y/N with his medication. Taking a deep breath he stood up slowly and walked over to the door. He could tell the dramatic improvement just from the night before. Though it was taking a concerted effort, he was able to make his way across the room without every muscle screaming at him. Opening the door he was about to speak but saw Y/N asleep on the couch. The book she must have been reading lay forgotten on the floor. Between making sure his meds were taken on time, shopping for groceries, and cooking breakfast, Percival realized there was no way he could be sure she had gotten nearly any sleep. For a moment his plan was to just take the medication himself, but it occurred to him, he had no idea where she had placed it.

Clenching his jaw in slight frustration he made his was over to her, wishing he didn’t have to wake her up. Her breathing was slow, her face serene and Percival found himself watching her for a moment. To him, she couldn’t be more beautiful.

“Y/N..” His voice was barely above a whisper as she began to stir. For a moment she was confused about where she was and who was waking her up, until she saw him.

“Percival.” She quickly sat up. “I’m so sorry, I fell asleep.”

“It’s quite alright.” He reassured her. “I would have got the medicine myself, but I don’t know where you keep it.”

“Of course, one moment.” She was on her feet in an instant and he watched her walk down the hallway to the guest room. It would make sense for the medicine to be in there. “Again, I’m really sorry.” She was walking back toward him with one dose of each liquid.

“Please don’t apologize.” He tried to calm her. “You have been doing a lot.” Unlike this morning he took both potions as quick as he could, the metal one going first. “I am sorry I had to wake you.”

“I can help you with some files, if you would like.” She offered as she took the vials back. He was going to put his hand on her shoulder, that was his goal. His hand, however, seemed to have a mind of its own as he cupped her cheek. Y/N almost stopped breathing at his touch.

“You should rest. I am feeling decent. If I need you, I will let you know.” Percival realized he had taken a small step forward, and how close they actually were. All he needed to do was move in, but something stopped him and he, instead, pulled his hand back. Y/N couldn’t lie to herself and say she wasn’t disappointed, but she wouldn’t allow herself to believe Percival had tried, or even thought about, kissing her.

“I’ll be here if you need anything.” She promised and he have her a small nod before he headed back into his office and closed the door. Y/N sat back down on the couch and picked up her book. It was useless. She couldn’t concentrate if she wanted to.

[staywritten]

Roommates│Han Jisung (M)

Synopsis: Jisung is a selfish, rude and loud roommate but he’s also really cute and you can’t help but develop a crush or ignore the unspeakable tension.  Roommate!Au

Genre: A tiny bit of angst, Smut

Word Count: 3k

When you responded to an ad for a roommate online, you figured the worst thing that could happen to you was that you’d be killed by some stranger in your sleep. Especially because the ad was far too good to be true. The apartment was beautiful, an in-unit washing machine, walking distance to campus, and work, and its rent was a steal. Especially in Seoul. Unfortunately your roommate wasn’t some creepy serial killer who dwelled in a basement and rarely interacted with you. No, he was a young attractive inconsiderate asshole testing your patience.

Admittedly you were a bit flustered with you first met him. His gummy smile was your weakness, his cheeks so squishy it took everything in you not to poke them, and when he worked out around the apartment, wearing that cut off tank you loved so much, you couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together to relieve the pressure.

And as smitten as you were with his appearance you wanted to fight him about 80% of the time.

From how he always took too long in the shower on days he knew you had class, how he always ate your food. Knowing damn well he wasn’t the one who bought it. How his dates would always use your shampoo the morning after, how his stupidly attractive friends were always over without warning. And the worst offense of them all. His damn music.

It was the middle of the night, you had stupidly agreed to cover your coworkers 8am shift on what was normally your day off and Jisung had his friends over. Again. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to live with a music major. But not just a music major, a music major that was an underground rapper, with lots of friends who frequented your apartment. 

Especially in the middle of the night after a show.

You tried to keep your outburst to a minimum. Sharing a space was about compromise. And you tried your damnedest to compromise. You bought noise-canceling headphones, you stuffed a towel under the bottom of your door to try and buffer the music, you tried having an asmr video of thunderstorms playing. You even attempted banging on the wall to get his attention to lower the volume.  Anything and everything to drown him out. But by 3am, you could not only hear the beats booming against the shared wall but the laughter of his friends.

“Oh my god. I can’t” you groaned, throwing the blanket off and storming over the whole five feet it took to get to his door. “Yah! Han Jisung!” you knocked on his door vigorously, to ensure he heard you. You knocking not letting up until he opened up.

He swung open the door, a scowl on his face at the interruption.

Originally you were planning on politely asking him to turn down the music. And that cordial thought went straight out the window the moment you saw him. It was like all you could see was red. Here you were frustrated in the middle of the night and he had the nerve to look that attractive. His snapback pushing back his hair, displaying his forehead. Honestly it made him look like a fuck boy and it was a weakness. “Do you ever sleep?! It’s 3am!”

His mood immediately went on the defensive when you started yelling. “I live here too, and the last time I checked I don’t have a bedtime!”

“You are such an asshole! Turn the music down!” you hated that your immediate response was to stomp your foot like a child. But he was being childish too!

“You can’t tell me what to do” he scoffed rolling his eyes. “If I wanna play music until 6am I can!”

“You are so inconsiderate!”

“Me? What about you!? You always act like I’m the problem. I don’t complain when you’re being a pig! I clean everything” he rolled his eyes “You’re not perfect I just don’t whine about it”

Your eyes widdened at the sudden attack “If my mess bothers you then just clean it up or tell me about it! Don’t try and throw it in my face in a conversation about something else!”

“You’re the one that came over here to pick a fight with me! I have guests and you barley even wear clothes! You’re the one being inconsiderate” He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth and he saw how immediately you looked uncomfortable. 

But there was no backing down now.

You immediately folded your arms over your chest, feeling far more exposed than you had realized. But it was the middle of the night. You were in your sleep clothes. Which tonight consisted of a pair of comfy short shorts, and a thin t-shirt. You were flustered and caught off guard with his attack. Suddenly you could feel the gaze of his friends, looking at you and you just felt so exposed.

He wanted to apologize the moment he saw your eyes glaze over. The frustrated embarrassed look becoming more noticeable. “I-”

“Do what you want” you mumbled before hurrying back to your room, slamming your door hard.

He groaned before slamming his door as well. He continues playing music throughout the night, even after his friends left. He knew he was doing it out of pettiness. But he hated that you came and yelled at him, and then he ended up feeling guilty.

It was always like that. 

It was like everything he did pissed you off and he couldn’t help that you were sensitive to everything. You nagged him all the time. And if he wanted to be nagged he could have continued living with his mother. You even managed to guilt him after his one night stands left. It was uncomfortable. Why should he have to live like this? He did his best to make sure you lived comfortably. He knew living with a guy could be kinda uncomfortable so he never hit on you, made sure his friends never made a pass at you and you always make it hard for him.

He knew you were attractive and everything you wore was gonna be sexy but you could try harder to be ugly. He didn’t want to fight with you but he opened the door and the first thing he noticed was just how stunning you looked in such a simple outfit, one that he never really saw. You usually wore hoodies, or a robe when you walked around the common areas. And just as quickly as he took in the exposed skin, you yelled at him. Your hair was messy, your clothes disheveled, the neck of your v-neck falling off your shoulder. You just looked so kissable-so fuckable. And he couldn’t, so he threw a tantrum.

He’d figure out how to make it up to you tomorrow, he knew it was your day off so he figured he’d make breakfast as an apology.

He rolled out of bed bright and early to get started on your favorite breakfast but frowned seeing you drinking coffee and eating some bread. You were already dressed and ready for the day. He noticed the dark circles under your eyes, you rolling your neck stiffly. He looked at his phone checking the time. “Why are you awake?”

You rolled your eyes, and downed your coffee. “I have to go to work” you placed your cup in the sink, making sure to wash it and put it away before grabbing your bag. “Sorry if my exposed legs offend you, I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“Today’s your day off.” he ignored your little stab at him, he felt bad enough.

“I had to cover someone's shift.” you spat, shooting him a glare.

“Why didn’t you tell me last night...I would have-”

“You wouldn’t have care. I asked you to turn the music down…” you sighed heavily and walked over to the door, slipping your shoes on. “You never care.”

“Why didn’t you tell me...I would have never had the guys over if-” he jumped as you walked out slamming the door shut.

But that’s how things were between you two. 

There was an undeniable tension, but after a few days it’d slowly die down. He’d ask you what you wanted for breakfast and things went back to normal. He never apologized for being inconsiderate, you never apologized for throwing a temper tantrum. It may not have been the healthiest but it worked.

Being roommates was about compromise right?

It’d been about two weeks since your last argument with Jisung and for all intents and purposes things were going well. He’d been more mindful of having people over only on the weekends, and keeping the music to a minimum on days you had early shifts. And you had been more mindful to clean and stay in your room when he had his friends over.

You yawned walking out of your bedroom, padding over to get a glass of water. Jisung was cozy on the couch with a blanket, flipping through movies to watch. “You enjoy your nap? It’s like midnight”

You nodded and grinned, downing your water. “It was the best four hour nap I’ve ever had. And the best part is I’m off tomorrow so I can sleep in.” You cleaned your cup before walking to him. “What are you doing back so early? Didn’t you have a date?”

He sighed before rubbing his temples “I did.” his tone curt and short.

“That bad huh?” you sat beside him, hugging your legs to your chest. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I picked her up, we had dinner…” he hesitated looking back to you, trying to read your expression. “And…”

You smirked, raising your eyebrow. “Had sex?” you laughed “I’m a big girl Jisung. I know what sex is.”

“I know- we just never talk about it or dating in general and stuff...I didn’t know if that was weird…” he fiddled with his sweater uncomfortably. “Like you don’t bring guys back…”

“Jisung no offence but, I don’t bring guys back when you’re home. It’s kinda uncomfortable too, and I don’t like scaring guys off with the My roommates is a guy, talk on first dates.”

“Woah- wait you brought guys back here after the first date?”

“Sometimes” you grinned, eyeing him “Han Jisung… You seem so surprised” your tone light and teasing. “Is it so hard to imagine that even I have sex?”

“No it’s just… “

“I’ll have you know I’m actually quite charming.”

“Oh I know” he looked a little embarrassed at how quickly it slipped out. “Like I know you’re hot and charming and… I dunno I just feel a little in the dark...I didn’t even know you were dating and yet I-”

“Bring your dates back home all the time.” you gave him a smug smile “Trust me, I know” you pointed to the walls. “They’re thin, remember? Oh and your dates always use my shampoo and body wash”

“I’m sorry…. That’s kinda rude isn’t it?”

You shook your head “Live comfortably”

“But you don’t…”

“Jisung, I don’t bring guys home when you’re here because I don’t want you to have to hear us.” you cheeks warmed as you chewed on your lower lip. “I’m kinda loud, I’m a little self conscious.”

“I wanna hear…” he turned toward you, his voice barely above a whisper. Part of him was hoping you didn’t hear him over the Netflix trailers, the other part of him prayed you heard him so he couldn’t chicken out.

“Do you?” your eyes darkened as you stared at him, slowly moving closer to him. He took in a sharp breath before pulling you into his lap. You grinned, straddling him, your lips inching closer to his before pulling away. Just ghosting the slightest bit, loving how he chased you. “Tell me bout your date and I’ll do whatever you want”

“Isn’t that kinda weird?” he tried to read your expression, but his wary look turned into one of intrigued as your smile grew. “Wait… Could you hear us earlier…?” He felt himself getting turned on more, as he noticed how warm you were, how flushed you got thinking about it. “I thought you were asleep…’

“You guys woke me up” you licked your lips, your hips moving against his just slightly. He stifled a groan before steadying your hips.

“It turns you on doesn’t it...? Hearing us?” Seeing your coy smile, he grabbed your jaw before pulling you into a deep kiss. His lips moved quickly against yours, as he nipped and chewed on your bottom lip. “Mmm…” He pulled your hoodie over the top of your head and groaned seeing your bare chest. “No shirt or bra?” he traced your soft, smooth skin, running his fingers up your sides.

“I never wear a bra at home” he smirked against your skin, kissing down your neck.

“You never answered my other question…” his teeth grazed your skin, reaching your nipples “Mmm such a pretty color Baby…” he whispered, his eyes peeking up at you as he peppered kisses before taking the bud into his mouth, sucking softly. His free hand palming your other one, gently tweaking your nipples. He loved how it made your squirm. You hips, desperate for friction. Almost angered by how much both your sweatpants got in the way. “Do you get turned on when you hear me have sex…? Did you wish it was you? Do you touch yourself…?” he chuckled, kissing your nipples, his teeth tracing them. Your head rolled back as you whined bucking your hips more. “Pay attention baby...answer me.”

“I get turned turned on…” your pout deepened before you cupped his squishy cheeks. “I wished it was me...and I always touch myself…” you leaned down closer to his ear, your lips brushing against the shell of his. “And I always cum…”

He gripped your hips tighter, digging into your skin. “Fuck….I…” he gripped your bottom, moving you closer to his crotch. “How many times did I make you cum tonight…?” his voice dropping an octave as he teased you. His fingers found their way into your sweatpants, teasing you from the outside of your panties. “Mmm and since when do you wear sweatpants?”

“I thought you said I didn’t wear enough clothes”

“Yeah when my friends are over and I’m trying to not fantasize about fucking you over every surface” he chuckled, rubbing a bit harder feeling your panties moistened. “Answer me Sweet girl….How many times did you cum?”

“Nnnn...how do you know I’m sweet?” you shivered as his finger rubbed against your slit. “You’ve never tasted me” you moaned softly.

“Stop trying to distract me, if you’re a good girl and answer me and I will.”

“T-twice…”

“I’m gonna double that” he whispered before tossing you on your back on the couch, making quick work of your sweatpants and panties.

You grinned as he settled himself between your legs. His mouth covered your core, as his tongue made its way inside you. Your thigh hooked around his shoulder as he deepened his teasing. “A-Ahh Jisung… you’re no fair” you panted “You never told me about your date”

“You minx” he grinned, pulling back just slightly pushing his index finger inside of you, curling it and watching you squirm. “You heard us, you know exactly why my date went badly.”

You shivered, gripping the arm of the couch. “But I want you to say it.” you licked your lips. “Please...I wanna hear it-Ah!”

He teased, shoving another finger inside of you, pumping it in and out. “Did it make you cum when you heard me call out your name instead?” his voice low and husky.

You nodded, squirming more from his teasing. “You sounded so sexy when you moaned my name” you reached down pulling at his shirt, pulling it over the top of his head. “I know you didn’t get to finish” you grinned. “Should I be nice and let you finish in me?”

“Please…” You ran your hand down his toned chest, the efforts of his workouts paying off so beautifully. He pressed his mouth over your center again, relentlessly, teasing and fingering you until you were a moaning mess. Your fingers tangled in his hair as you pressed him into you, desperate to cum, you were so close. But more than his tongue, more than his fingers, the thing that brought you closer to the edge was his intense eye contact. It was both shy and dominating. He just never looked away and for the rare moments he did, the way his gaze flashed up at you made you feel so flustered. “J-Jisung” you moaned out, your stomach tightening as you shivered. He helped you ride out your high, his fingers relentlessly moving until you came against him.

“Such a pretty girl…” he licked the slick off his lips before meeting your lips again. “You were so good for me..”

“I can be better” you reached for the growing tent in his pants, rubbing him. “Let me..” you crawled closer to him, wanting to return the favor.

“No baby.. I don’t need it. Right now all I need is you.”

“But-”

“I’ve literally been thinking about you all night, I promise if you put your lips on me, I’m not gonna last.” he gave you a sheepish look, almost embarrassed from his confession. 

“Fine” you pouted pulling his sweatpants and boxers down his thighs.

“Don’t pout” he chuckled, kissing your jaw. “Next time Baby”

He was fully erect, pre-cum leaking from his swollen head. You smiled, wrapping your fingers around him and rubbing him firmly. “I need you…”

His head rolled back as he closed his eyes. The feeling of your fingers around him was like a dream. “Mmm Baby, I need to get a condom”

You shook your head and grinned, your grip tightening a little. “No~I want you now…” 

“You serious?”

“I wanna feel you Jisung~ Can’t I? Will you let me?” your voice so soft as you coaxed him into a deep kiss. Your tongue rolling against his “Please?”

“You beg for me so well..Fuck-yes Baby” you rubbed himself against your wet entrance, slowly pushing himself inside. There it was again, that beautiful eye contact, that little furrow in his brow when he concentrated, his soft lips pulling into a pout as he moved against you. Your arms wrapped around his neck, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.

“It’s ok, you can go harder.” you encouraged him.

And that was all he needed before he began to pound into you more vigorously. His hands moving down your body, cupping your breast and rubbing against your side. Like he was just desperate to touch everywhere. His lips occasionally finding yours to tease. “C’mere…”

He pulled you onto his lap again, his back against the couch as he let you ride him. He hit deeper at the new angle, and you loved every second of it. You arched your back, gripping the couch as you moved your hips faster, in a circular motion to stimulate yourself. 

His lips sucking the soft skin of your neck, leaving a mark as you moved. His strong hands on your hips guiding you back and forth on him. “Faster baby” he whispered huskily. Your moans music to his ears, his, your desperate cries of his name, encouraging him more. “I’m almost there, are you close?”

“Not quite but don’t worry about me I-” you moaned out louder, feeling him tease and squeeze your clit. “Ah-Jisung!”

He kept rubbing your clit harder, desperate thrusting into you, his free hand moving your hips harder. “Cum for me Baby…” he whispered sweet nothings against your skin, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. 

He could feel you pick up the pace, your body shivering as your second climax inched closer. “That’s my girl…” he slammed into you, gripping so tight as he released, he kept moving until he felt you cum following not far behind him, just long enough before the over stimulation became too much to handle.

“Jisung” you whined, holding his shoulders to steady him, your face collapsing in his chest as you calmed yourself, and steadied your breathing. You could feel him start to soften inside you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move.

“Mmm… you’re right you are pretty loud, it’s so sexy” he chuckled running his hand up and down your back.

You pulled back to look at him and pecked his nose softly. “I’m really glad your date ended badly tonight”

“Hell, me too” he laughed “I’ve had a crush on your since you moved in, but kinda figured I shouldn’t try and hit on my roommate” he playfully spanked your behind for you to get up. He grabbed a towel from the bathroom and got you both cleaned off before he tugged back on his sweats, you only bothered to put on a new pair of panties and a t-shirt. He cleaned up your clothes to put near the laundry while shyly looking at you, like he was trying to find the courage to speak.

“What is it?” you leaned against your door frame, watching him fidget with everything in his path from the washing machine to your door.

“I-Um...Do you wanna go on a date tomorrow?” he asked shyly, standing in front of your door. “I know the order is kinda backwards but, I really am interested in you and I was kinda hoping this wasn’t just a one night thing. I mean-If it was that’s cool with me too, like no pressure but”

“You’re rambling” you grinned “I’d love to go out tomorrow.”

“Really?!” he smiled so brightly, his beautiful brown eyes disappearing in a crescent shape as that gorgeous gummy smile graced his face.

“Really” you giggled, subtly touching his hand. “You weren’t the only one with a crush Jisung”

“Can I kiss you goodnigh-” you interrupted his silly question, pressing your lips against his before pulling him into your bedroom.

End.

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ  Hey Friends I hope you liked that one shot, it was my first smut for stray kids, i know it was kinda long. But it seemed silly to split it up into parts so I hope you didn’t mind >///< If you liked it let me know~

-D❍MI

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 10

Chapter Selection 

Aiden was taken in last night. When police arrived they questioned Hotch and I, gathering information. They wanted to know things like why he was there, what happened, and why Aaron was there. That was something I wanted to know myself, I never asked him. It was around 12 - 1am, he should've been at home sleeping. 

I woke up in my bed, with the very faint sun shining through the curtains. I rolled over and reached for my phone, it was 6am. Luckily I didn't have class today because it was a Saturday. Sitting up and throwing on a large hoodie I walked into the hallway. 

Going into the kitchen and starting a much needed pot of coffee. I heard shuffling on the couch and I turned around to see Aaron sprawled out. I smiled and walked over sitting beside him trying to not wake him. 

I had asked Hotch to stay after the whole thing just feeling a little shaken up. 

I went into Chloe's room checking if she had come home last night but she wasn't there. I entered the living room again waiting for the coffee to finish, I sat next to Aaron on the couch careful to not wake him up. I went on my phone and started scrolling through Instagram. 

The pot beeped letting whoever was there know it was ready. I poured it into a mug and putting a good amount of creamer the way I liked it. Being nice I also poured Aaron and cup knowing by the time he wakes up it'll be cool enough to drink. 

Going back over I set both mugs on the table in front of us, the clink from the glass hitting the wood startled Aaron and he woke up. He opened his eyes and sighed, not noticing me right next to him. Turning his head he saw the steaming cup of coffee, he grinned sitting all the way up.

 "Morning", He was snuggled up against the corner, with the blanket covering me. "How'd you sleep?"

"Decent considering it's a couch", I scooted a little closer to him. "Yeah sorry about that, you could've slept in the bed with me." He grabbed the mug off the table and started to blow into it, trying to cool it down. "It's fine, that's your space." 

"It wouldn't have been a problem honestly" 

"How about if there's a next time I'm here overnight, then I can sleep in your bed." I raised my eyebrows at him grinning a bit. "Next time?" He nodded and softly smiled. "You'd like that wouldn't you." 

I started giggling but avoided the question not wanting it to get awkward even though it wouldn't have been. Aaron being a profiler saw through my silence and knew. I calmed down and wondered. 

"If you don't mind me asking. Why did you come by last night?"He sat there and took a sip of his now warm drink. He turned to me, "I wanted to ask you something, I couldn't get it off my mind so I came over." 

I raised my eyebrows silently asking him to continue, "It was just about Jack and I, I wanted to know if you wanted to spend some time with us tomorrow- well today." There was something about that didn't seem completely honest, like he was holding something back but I wasn't going to push it. 

"Of course, It's been a few months since I've seen him. What'd you want to do then." 

"He wanted to go skating but that's not really my thing, I figured you can go with us. Spend time with him." I nodded, taking a sip and turning on the tv. I leaned back laying my head on the arm rest, I kept moving around not being able to get comfortable. 

"Come here", I glanced at him. I felt his arm touch mine, bringing me closer to him. My body pressed against his and his arm went around me. My head rested on my chest as his head rested on the cushion behind him. 

He let out a sigh and mumbled to himself, "This is nice." We both tightened our grips around each other and I nestled my head into his chest more. We were watching the tv but I could tell neither of us were paying attention. Only focusing on each other.

Hotch's phone went off. He grabbed his phone and looked at the text, "Jack wants me to go and get him." He set his phone down. 

"Where is he?" He looked down at me. "At a friends house, If you want you can come with me." 

"Okay." I got up and went into my room getting some pants on before we left. 

"Can you get breakfast after we pick up?" My stomach was growling, not having eaten since yesterday afternoon. 

"Sure", I walked back out with jeans, and some sneakers. Hotch was up and put his shoes on waiting for me. We walked out of the apartment, locking the door behind us. Going down the stairs and into his car, driving to pick up Jack. 

We had a simple conversation listening to soft music in the background. I wondered where Hayley was now, if she was still with her 'friend'. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head and focused on what was happening. 

We got to his friends house and Jack crawled into the backseat. "Y/n!", the sound of that kid's voice brought me back to how much time I'd spent with him. How often we'd watch movies or be at the park; I missed him. "Hey little man, how's it going."  

"Good but I missed you, dad used to talk about you after you left." I turned and looked at Hotch who was focusing on the road. "Is that so? all good things I hope." I giggled and looked at Jack. 

"Yeah he would say ho-", Aaron cut him off. "Hey Jack do you want some pancakes?" 

That drew Jack's attention quickly, that kid's mind went a hundred miles an hour constantly. He nodded enthusiastically, smiling brightly. 

I leaned into Hotch whispering, "We're going to talk about that later." He laughed somewhat nervously. 

Hotch parked the car in the lot of the restaurant. We walked in and sat at a table near the back. Taking a seat all of us reached for the menus. "So Jack... How's school." 

"It's okay, it would be better but I don't have you there to help me with my homework anymore." Both of them looked at me sadly, clearly Jack wanted me to babysit again. I don't remember why I stopped but things happen I guess. 

"Buddy I can help whenever I have the time, I have my own homework though so you're going to need to be patient." Hotch decided to change the conversation. "What are you guys getting?", I looked at Jack and he at me. We both said our answers simultaneously, "Peanut butter pancakes." 

Hotch's lips turned upwards. The waiter came over and took our orders, both Jack and I getting a small coffee. "They start out young." I was referring to Jack drinking coffee considering I started at that age too. Hotch got a regular black coffee and an omelet. 

The rest of the breakfast Hotch and I both noticed my admirer. Every time I would do something Jack would do the same, whenever I took a bite and wiped my mouth he did the same. I was laughing, "Jack are you copying me?" He glanced at me, "No..." 

I glared at him, "Maybe." Hotch thought it was hilarious, he was sitting there quietly trying to hold in his laughter. I turned to him, "Something funny Hotchner." Collecting himself he quickly replied, "What- no." 

I hummed and took another bite. Hotch and I split the check and we left, going back to the car. "What now." Jack said from the back. "Home", it was only 8:30am and there wasn't really anything open to do. 

"I'll drop you back off, but if we do end up going out later like we had talked about... I'll text you." 

"Okay", Hotch drove from the restaurant back to my apartment, dropping me off. I opened the door and got out, "Thank you for the breakfast." 

"No problem." He said, smirking.

[cranquis]

Typical Day in the Life of a Doctor on the COVID Ward (Stolen from Facebook with permission, multiple versions going around, this one by Pang Lam)

A lot of people have been asking me what it's like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I'd share what a typical day looks like for me:

6am - Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans

6:30am - Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop.

7am - Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds.

8am - See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better.

9:30am - Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases.

10am - One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again.

11am - Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors. 

12:30pm - Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year.

1pm - Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch.

2pm - A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster.

2:45pm - Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

4pm - One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure

6pm - Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth”

6:10pm - Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk. 

7pm - Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths.

9pm - Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today.

[sadaboutniall]

Without Fear

masterlist | tag | wattpad

hiya! since tomorrow is thanksgiving I thought it would be better for everyone if I posted this week’s chapter today! hope you like!

Chapter Two. February 

give me moonlight, and a smile from you that I can // that I can barely believe — dancing under red skies, dermot kennedy

It comes on slow, the way waves lap up against the shore late at night, when there aren’t many boats out to disrupt them. Over and over, bit by bit, it settles in. The first wave of it bites at Lu’s ankles when her toilet overflows at 6am, leaving her standing in her socks in the bathroom, soaking wet, worrying about the water leaking into the shop below, while Ruairí meows in concern from his spot atop the sink. Frantic, Lu calls her dad, and it goes to voicemail twice before she remembers it’s 1am in New York. 

Accompanied only by a YouTube tutorial and the rising sun, Lu manages to fix the mess, shower, and start the day all on her own. Her dad calls back five hours later, and Lu feels like she’s lived a whole lifetime between then and now. 

The second wave of it has more venom. She sleeps in on a Sunday—the only day the shop is closed—stirring around 10 because Ruairí is relentless, screeching in her ear, kneading at her belly, desperate for something to eat. Mindless, she feeds him, freshens up his water, makes herself a cup of coffee, pulls out a pastry leftover from Siobhan’s bake the day before, and settles into a spot by the window of her flat, overlooking the sea, all before thinking to take a look at her phone. 

Even if she goes 12 hours without looking at her phone, Lu finds she doesn’t miss much these days—she left home on a whim, without a ton of fanfare, and knows full well that she isn’t putting in the effort she should to keep in touch with friends from home. She also knows that’s why she left.

So, most mornings, she wakes up to a few messages in the family group chat, a message or two from her best friend Georgia, and not much else. This morning, it’s different. 

208 texts. 12 missed calls. 

Lu’s stomach sinks like a stone. Her whole body heats up at once. Her hands start shaking and her heart starts hammering, all before she even manages to swipe open a single notification. 

She doesn’t even have the wherewithal to cycle through possibilities. Her brain, hitting overdrive from the start, has no question that it’s bad. 

In WhatsApp, Lu finds that her family group chat has 206 messages. She has one separate text from her dad, and a final separate text from her brother. Nothing from her mom. 

Shaking, she swipes open her dad’s first. On the counter, Ruairí is sniffing at a banana. 

Hi, love, his message says. Figured the number of messages in the group chat is overwhelming. We’re at the hospital with Sam now. All is well, the appendix is out and he’s resting. Mary’s with us, she got back from Honduras yesterday. Good timing. Give us a call when you get a chance. 

From her brother, Lu finds a selfie. He’s in a hospital bed, gown around his shoulders. He looks pale, dark circles around his eyes, but he’s okay—he’s smiling, giving the camera a thumbs up. Underneath, the message says I lived, bitch. 

Relief coursing through her, Lu lets out a shaky laugh. It’s scarily on-brand for Sam to pull out a meme at a moment like this. 

Slowly but surely, Lu’s heartbeat slows to its normal rate. As it does, she scrolls back through the messages from the night before: her brother raising the alarm that he had a pesky pain in his side, their mother, a doctor herself, urging him to get it checked out. There’s a moment where Sam says the doctor is sending him home, and another where their mom urges him to demand an ultrasound, just in case. He does, and they find the appendicitis. Lu shudders to think what would’ve happened had her mother been the one sleeping soundlessly an ocean away. 

It’s five am in New York. Lu figures they’re all shattered. Rather than call and risk waking everyone up after what was surely a late, long night, Lu shoots off a text to her dad, asking him to call her when they wake up and sending lots of love. She turns her ringer up all the way so she won’t miss anything else. She feels a million miles away. 

####

On February first, Lu wakes up in a cold sweat. It’s still dark outside, but that doesn’t mean much in a place where the sun doesn’t rise until nearly 9am. Still, Lu doesn’t even need to look at a clock to know it must be early: perched on the pillow next to her head, Ruairí is snoring gently, dead to the world, not yet ready to demand breakfast. 

Heart hammering, Lu gropes around the bed until her hand closes around her phone, cold. She squints, then sighs, as she checks the time.

4:45am. 

Lu is no stranger to waking up mid-panic attack. Sometimes, it feels like choking—like she can’t get a breath down deep enough, to pool in the bottom of her lungs. Other times, it feels like an unavoidable urge to get up, move, get as far away from the space she woke up in as physically possible. Right now, it feels like a stomach ache, period pains, itchy skin, her body trying to tell her that something, somewhere, is going terribly wrong. 

Logically, she knows it’s not. She holds her breath, five, four, three, two, one, and checks her phone as her heart jackrabbits away. Nothing out of the ordinary: her mom texted a picture of her glass of wine with dinner to the family group chat, her dad reported the score of a soccer game, her brother sent that he’d managed to run a full two miles today, his furthest since the appendectomy. Everything is fine. 

Except for Lu. 

There’s no use trying to go back to sleep; Lu knows herself better than that. Heart still working overtime despite reassurance, she slips out of bed as gently as she can, praying that she won’t wake Ruairí. She’s silent as she gets dressed and silent as she tiptoes out of her bedroom, out of the apartment, and down the stairs. The morning is still and dark, but you can hear for miles and miles on Inis Mór, and as she begins her walk the soft, familiar sounds of tractors roaring to life, cows mooing for their breakfast, sheep and goats bleating, remind Lu that she’s not the only one—that others are here too, alive, beginning their day, pushing on. Home. And underneath it all, there is, always, the sound of the waves, constant, crashing against the shore. 

####

Lu doesn’t get a chance to nap. She walks, balancing on the edge of the cliffs that overlook the Atlantic, breathing in the sea air and thinking about how the water here, crashing, violent against the cliffs below her is the same water that once lapped up on the shores of Long Island, of Coney Island, of the Rockaways, of home. Seagulls swoop, low and graceful, over her head, over the ocean, and Lu thinks that if she asked her dad to drop a floatie into the Atlantic for her it just might make it—just might wash up here, on the edge of the Earth, the way she has. 

She walks and walks—you can walk all the way around Inis Mór and back in under five hours, but she doesn’t have that kind of time. She walks along the cliffs, the white, blinding, otherworldly geology of the Burren, through the grass and the mud and the cow shit, until she’s back at the cafe, windows glowing golden against the rising sun, condensation clinging to them from the inside. Siobhan is pulling pastries out of the oven when she opens the door around 6:30, and Ruairí, curled up on the counter, looks at her, bitter. 

Siobhan smiles, “There you are. No worries, pet, I’ve fed him his breakfast.” 

She wobbles through the day, exhausted from the panic, the walk, the lack of sleep. She messes up at least two orders—gives Mrs. Duffy whole milk instead of skim, drops Mr. Kennedy’s sandwich on the floor while she’s bringing it over to him—but, as always, no one bats an eye. They touch her arm gently, lull “oh, it’s no bother, darling, we’ll make it right, now,” and the cadence of their laughter carries as she does exactly that. There’s no venom, no rush, nothing to give Lu the adrenaline she so badly needs to make it through the day. 

Somehow, she almost forgets that it’s Niall’s first day. But all of a sudden it’s twelve hours later and he’s bustling inside, bringing a rush of cold air with him. The door swings shut behind him and Lu, who had been curled up at the cushioned window seat with Ruairí on top of her in a moment of quiet, jumps. The cat’s only just forgiven her for this morning, and her movement causes him to stalk off in anger. She sighs after him.

“Oh, no,” Niall laughs a little, “sorry, did I interrupt something?” He looks soft and sweet in his dark jeans, his hat pulled low over his forehead. He’s shedding his puffer jacket to reveal a navy blue cable knit sweater and his cheeks are flushed from the cold. His eyes, bright and blue as Lu remembers them, find hers. He smiles. 

“Yeah,” Lu just about manages. “He just forgave me, you totally ruined it.”

Niall barks out a laugh, head thrown back, shoulders hunching up. “What did you do?” 

“Forgot to feed him breakfast this morning,” Lu sighs. “Siobhan did it, but he held it against me anyway.” 

“Ah, well,” Niall shrugs. “I’d be mad too, if I were a cat.” 

“S’a good thing you’re not, then,” Lu smiles. “I’m not here to feed you.” 

Niall’s still giggling. Lu wonders if he ever stops. 

“I’m thinking I might make him pupcakes or something as an apology…” Lu is rambling a bit now, but she’s so tired, and Niall’s so cute, and nothing is real here, anyway. “I know they’re for dogs but I can’t imagine they’re bad for cats? I bet he’ll like those—honestly, I bet he’ll just like knowing I slaved over a hot stove for him. It’s like he can tell, you know?” 

It wasn’t meant to be that funny, but Niall is fully cackling, crinkles by his eyes on full display, one hand clutching his tummy. “You’re funny,” he says between laughs. “A bit looney, me da would say—hey, Lu, looney, Looney Tunes. It all makes sense.” 

“Isn’t ‘looney’ offensive?” The banter with him comes so easily, Lu doesn’t let herself overthink it. “Think we’re supposed to stop using it.” 

“Ah, well,” Niall’s pulling his guitar out to tune, now, “You’re in Ireland now, love. All good nicknames are a little offensive.”

####

The night is mostly quiet, a dozen customers at the most, which Lu thinks is probably good for Niall’s nerves. He’s just as stunning as he was the night Lu first met him, pulling out an arsenal of covers ranging from Bruce Springsteen to Post Malone, somehow making them all work for his voice, for the vibe, for everyone, but he’s shaking—she can see it when he pushes his hair off his forehead, or when he drops his pick on the floor between songs, laughing awkwardly as he bends to grab it. Even with the mistakes, the dropped pick, the few stumbles over lyrics, he’s endearing, engaging, all-consuming. Lu’s meant to be working, but she can’t find it in her to look away.

From her spot at the counter, Lu watches how Niall keeps his eyes trained on the window across from him. He doesn’t seem to be looking for anyone or anything, but Lu suspects it’s easier than looking his audience in the eye—despite the fact that she can see for herself just how captivated they are. It shouldn’t take an hour and a half to drink one coffee and eat one slice of chocolate cake, but that’s how long old Mr. Kane spends in the shop anyway, eyes closed, listening to Niall play. 

For two full hours, Niall keeps the shop warm and alive. Everyone is so captivated that Lu barely has to work after all; she leans up against the counter instead, cradling the mug of hot chocolate that Siobhan made her before she left for the night, and taking him in. She barely knows him, and yet. 

Lu has seen plenty of nervous first-timers performing in front of apathetic crowds—it was practically her job, after all. She’s also seen more than her fair share of world class performers stunning crowds that want to eat them up, keep them on stage forever, bottle their energy and carry it through the rest of their lives. Working in the music industry, even just as an assistant, for five years turned her hard and jaded, made her feel like she’s seen the seedy, rough, rude underbelly of it all—but she’s never seen anyone perform like Niall before. His unadulterated, all consuming love for music is tangible, even from across the room. This is now Niall communicates. This is how he understands the world. This is how he sees life. Half of Lu feels lucky to hear it—the other half feels sick knowing that his talent is wasted here.

It almost makes her sad to have to close up at 9. Niall’s good about it—he’s designed his set to last exactly two hours, finds a climax in the middle with “Dancing in the Dark” and tapers his song choices toward a slow but steady ending, letting everyone know, without having to say it, that it’s time to head home. Lu doesn’t even have to ask him if he knows how to play “Closing Time.” 

Mr. Kane is the last to leave, sticking around a little after nine to shake Niall’s hand and tell him he had no idea how talented Maura’s son is. He talks about Maura—Lu assumes she must be Niall’s mom—while Lu slowly, quietly begins putting dishes away. She likes the routine of this already, Niall’s quiet voice, his booming laugh, his warm presence keeping her company while she settles down for the night. It’s something she could get used to. It’s something, the first thing, she thinks she could miss, if she left. 

Niall masterfully leads his conversation with Mr. Kane toward goodbyes, shaking his hand again as he shuts the door behind him. Lu looks up from where she was rinsing a cup to watch as Niall watches through the window to make sure Mr. Kane gets in his car. He waits for the car to start before turning around, leaning his back up against the door, dragging a hand through his hair, and letting out a long sigh. 

“Alright?” Lu asks, gentle. Niall’s got his eyes closed, his head back, neck exposed to her. It’s thick and littered with freckles, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. In her chest, Lu’s heart does something funny. She presses her thighs together, tight. 

Niall opens his eyes halfway, exhaling a little laugh as he meets Lu’s gaze. She hopes he can’t tell—how could he? 

“Yeah,” he says then, standing all the way up and shaking his head. “That was mad.” 

“It was amazing,” Lu counters. She gently places the mug back into the sink, bracing her hands against the edge. Part of her is afraid of what she’ll do without something between him and her. “They were so into it. No one could look away from you.”

Her cheeks flush, and Niall catches it. The corner of his mouth pulls up in half a smile as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Ya think so?” 

“I know so,” Lu presses her lips together, but it doesn’t do much to prevent her smile. “‘Dancing In The Dark’ was my favorite one; it’s perfect for your voice.” 

“Thanks, Looney Tunes,” Niall hums, making his way back over toward her. “Can I help ya clean up? I wash, you dry?”

“Oh,” Lu stills. She’d half forgotten about the dishes still left to clean, the floor to sweep, the leftovers to toss, the counters to wipe down. Her mind stumbles over the best way to go about this: it would be rude to keep him, but, God, she wants his company. She realizes, with a slight swoop in her belly, that she hasn’t felt homesick in two hours. She needs him to stay. “I actually—I have a dishwasher. I just like to rinse everything before I put it in.” 

Niall smiles. He comes around the counter to stand next to Lu at the sink, knocking his hip against hers. “Sensible,” he says. It’s quiet. Just for her. “I’ll rinse and put ‘em in. You’ve been stood here all night. What else do you have to do?” 

“Uh,” Lu feels like her whole body is vibrating. Her mind turns over itself like an engine that won’t start. “Sweep the floors, wipe down the counters, lock up.” 

“Alright,” Niall is so close that Lu can smell his aftershave. Warm, soft, mixed with sweat from his nerves and the smell of his skin. “Let’s do it.”

####

taglist: @missy14us @antisocialsocialclub5 @coconutdawn @ficnarry @bopbopstyles @okaaayniall @theresnooneheretosave @niallgolden @tinyfelthat @adoremp3 @thelifeofbo @crocodileniall @niallsguitarthings @kara-246

Join the tag list here.

[cherdream]

blue bird+renjun

synopsis: the budding friendship of renjun and y/n who seem to be polar opposites. 

genre: fluff + angst

warning: mention and acts of abuse (i’ll make a note before and after the scene!)

a/n: i hope everyone’s okay and signing petitions! i’ve also missed a bunch of the dream member’s birthdays because i haven’t been motivated to write anything and post. again please sign petitions, wear masks, and stay safe!

UPDATE: will not be getting a sequel. i apologize for the request.

“stop acting like you understand me,” you yell at the slender boy.

“that’s because you’re not letting me,” he yells back.

“renjun don’t you know how not to be nosy,” you ask, seething.

“it’s not being nosy it’s called i don’t want you to go through all this alone,” renjun replies.

“even if i told you, you wouldn’t understand.”

“and why is that?”

“because god damn it, renjun you’re a golden child. a damn prince and i’m someone my family could care less about. an angel and a devil aren’t meant to understand each other,” you yell leaving the boy flabbergasted as you walk away.

***

“mother,” renjun calls out as he arrives home for winter break.

“oh my, i see my baby has grown a bit,” his mother comes to hug him.

“you’re just being nice. my height has remained the same for a whole year already,” he replies hugging her back.

“how’s y/n?” she asks causing renjun to pause for a moment.

“is it possible for parents to not love their own child?” he asks as he takes off his coat.

“i’m sure most parents love their child but there are some that don’t. why? did something happen?” she asks with a worried look.

“no nothing happened. i’ll go wash up,” he replies with a faint smile and takes his suitcase to his room.

***

“i don’t really see why you had the audacity to come back home,” says a woman.

“the academy told me i had to come home mother,” you reply as you stare down at your feet.

“we pay so much for your tuition and yet they can’t let you stay there for break?”

“it seems so.”

“just get out of my sight and stay in your room like you always do,” your so called mother says in annoyance as she lights a cigarette.

“yes mother,” you reply in a monotone voice as you quietly walk upstairs to your room.

***

“oh we’re having hot pot?” renjun asks as he comes downstairs for dinner.

“of course, it’s your favorite after all i haven’t seen you for awhile,” his mother says.

“when’s dad coming back from his business trip?” he asks as he sits down at the table.

“in three days,” she replies as she plates some food for him.

“thanks and you need to eat too,” renjun chuckles as he takes the plate.

“my son needs to gain some weight and grow up strong,” she replies with adoration.

***

“miss can i come in?” a maid asks as she knocks on your bedroom door.

“is it dinner?” you ask.

“yes.”

“then come in.”

the maid quietly walks in and places the food on a table then quickly walks out.

you roll off your bed and sit yourself down at the table.

“they always forget i’m allergic to peanuts,” you mutter as you notice the cake topped with them.

the loud chatter of the floor below could be heard as the rest of the family enjoy dinner together.

“brother must be home too,” you say to yourself as you pick at your food.

***

you ignored all the messages renjun would text you during winter break which led to renjun having a whole conversation with himself as he wonders why you became so enraged that day.

winter break finally came to an end leaving both you and renjun to start packing for the academy once again.

***

“the miss is leaving today madam,” the maid informs your mother.

“didn’t i tell you not to report useless things to me?” she asks in annoyance.

“i finally have a few days left of my break without her being home,” a young male says as he focuses on his game.

“we should have sent her out of the country for schooling,” she sighs.

“father said she’d might be in trouble if she went by herself.”

“your father has always been soft-hearted.”

you try your best to carry your suitcase without making any noise but it was no use.

“can’t you be more quiet!” your mother scolds.

“sorry,” you say as you heave your suitcase down the stairs, but another thud could be heard.

[act of abuse ahead]

as if already knowing what was to occur next, you shut your eyes tightly as a hand lands harshly on your cheek.

“such a nuisance,” your mother says, as she grabs your hair and pulls you down to the floor.

the beating continues as you try to protect your face, which angers your mother more as she grabs hold of them and throws your body towards the floor once more. opening your teary eyes you see a blurry vision of your brother’s shoes. your eyes meet a amused expression on your brother’s face as your hair gets pulled by your mother. you could no longer hear clearly what she was yelling about. eventually you stopped crying and became numb to the seemingly never ending smacks.

[scene ends]

***

“mother i’m leaving,” renjun says as he puts on his shoes.

“wait take some food with you,” his mother frantically says as she hands him a lunch box, “did you make sure you didn’t forget anything?”

“yes i made sure,” renjun chuckles and gives her hug before leaving for the train.

as he walks to the railroad center he checks his phone to see if you’ve replied only for him to see that you’ve left him on read.

renjun: hey i’ll be taking the 6AM train tomorrow in case you wanted to meet. i have seat 20.

[read]

***

the train arrives at your stop causing renjun to look outside the window for you, but to his dismay he doesn’t find you as the train starts to leave the station. until he hears someone plop down in the seat next to him.

“y/n!” he exclaims with a wide smile until he sees your bruises, “did she hit you again?’

“i just got assigned to this seat coincidentally,” you say, ignoring the question he asked.

“alright, i won’t pry it out of you, but i’m always available to talk,” he smiles, “also at least let me treat the bruises.”

you don’t say anything which prompts renjun to treat them anyway. his fingers gently apply the medicine, trying not to hurt you.

the train ride remained silent for awhile until renjun breaks it by saying, “i’m sorry. are you ignoring me.”

you simply reply with a hum.

“y/nnnnn,” he whines.

“shut up,” you reply, glaring out him which causes him to pout.

“it’s fine,” you nonchalantly say.

“really?”

“yes,” you frustratingly reply.

“good, did you bring lunch?” he asks taking out his lunch box.

“no.”

“alright we’re sharing then.”

“there’s only one chopstick.”

“i knew you wouldn’t bring lunch, so i, of course, brought an extra one,” he replies showing off another pair of utensils.

“why are you smiling like that, but thanks,” you tease.

“hey!” he exclaims causing you to laugh a little.

***

“tell me again why your friends with y/n,” a young male asks renjun as they walk to their next class.

“because she’s a nice person,” he says.

“well it seems like your her only friend,” the boy replies as he notices you alone in the school garden.

“yeah.”

“hey, you’re y/n right?” renjun’s friend asks as he walks up to you.

“yeah why?” you ask, confused as to why the boy’s talking to you.

“i’m chenle. renjun seems to think you’re nice,” chenle smiles.

“oh.”

“hey leave her alone. she’s shy,” renjun says as he tries to take chenle away.

“why? i wanna know why you think she’s nice,” he says, shoving renjun’s arm away.

“we’re going to be late. let’s just go,” he pleads.

you close the book you’re reading and walk away before saying, “i don’t think i’m nice. so there’s nothing for me to explain.”

***

“y/n?” renjun asks as he approaches a figure in the school’s greenhouse.

“hey,” you reply.

“it’s late,” he says as he seats himself down next to you.

“then why are you here?”

“something’s been bothering me lately.”

“what is it then.”

“what’s really going on in your family?” renjun finally asks as he makes eye contact with you.

“i wouldn’t consider them family,” you sigh, “you heard of my brother right?”

“yeah the genius of the l/n family.”

“well that’s the problem,” you gaze up at the stars.

“is it because you’re not like him?” he asks as he continues to look at you.

“bingo!” you smile.

“y/n...”

“look renjun i’m okay with it. i know i’m not good enough for them. i lost the desire to be loved.”

for some reason it hurt renjun to hear those words from you, “i think you deserve to be loved,” he says.

“hmm?”

“everyone deserves to be loved, but most of all you do. i know i have no say in your life because of how loving my parents are and i know i won’t understand what you have to go through but...” he looks away from your gaze as he stops his sentence.

“but what? don’t leave me hanging,” you jokingly say making the boy a little flustered.

“i’ll give you all the love your family couldn’t provide,” he finally says after a moment of silence.

“and why is that?” you sigh.

“because you don’t see yourself the way i see you. you’re a good person and you’re important to me.”

“if you phrase it like that i can’t really refute it, can i?” you smile.

“i won’t let you either way,” he says with hands at his waist as if he’s mad.

***

“please stop,” a blonde girl whimpers as she falls to the ground.

“i don’t want to. it’s funny seeing you scared,” a brunette says as she looks down at the girl.

“why are they so loud,” you mutter to yourself as you try to read your book.

the rest of the girls surround their victim as they burst into laughter.

“say belle, why do you think everyone hates you?” the brunette teases.

belle doesn’t respond.

“because you’re useless and a good for nothing,” the brunette answers herself while the rest of her friends laughing along.

“how annoying,” you say.

“what?” the brunette says as she glares at you.

“aren’t you the good for nothing?” you ask, closing your book with a sigh.

“who do you think you are?” she seethes.

“i’m just saying you’re a good for nothing because who spends time bullying other people. shouldn’t you get a hobby or something? boxing could help with your frustration, you know?” you say walking up to her.

“i remember! you’re the girl from the l/n family.”

“what about it?”

“then shouldn’t you be the good for nothing?” she mocks as her friends snicker as you pick the girl up, “don’t you feel bad for your parents? they have such an amazing son but ended up with another child that isn’t a genius like him. doesn’t that hurt your mother’s pride, having a useless daughter. isn’t that why they never visit you when you’re at school?”

“well aren’t you annoying,” you sigh with no change to your expressionless face.

“why you little-” she says as she slaps you across the face.

the loud sound of the impact startles the other students.

you could feel the pain stinging at your cheek and for some reason you lose it as you pull the girl by her hair. someone leaves to get the dean while the others try to stop the fight.

***

“isn’t that y/n?” chenle asks as he notices a familiar figure.

“huh?” renjun replies as he looks at where chenle’s facing and is left befuddled as to why you were with the dean and gen.

“i heard gen and y/n got into a fight,” a girl whispers to her friend as they walk past renjun.

***

as you exit the principal’s office with your parents you notice renjun waiting near the door. you give him a glance, silently telling him not to talk to you since your mother was here and was already mad enough. you give him a little smile telling him that you’re okay.

renjun has no choice, but to leave. he never met your parents until today. he could notice the cold presence your mother exudes as she sends him a glare.

***

the next day, news went around at the academy that you got suspended as you refused to apologize to gen. therefore, you packing your bags didn’t surprise renjun, however, you started to avoid him and he didn’t understand why. 

***

the day after, you finished packing everything from your dormitory before the rest of the students woke up, as you didn’t want to say goodbye to renjun.

***

renjun wakes up a little bit early today as he’s expecting a letter from his mother, so he hurries down to the school’s mail office. excitedly opening his mailbox, the first letter he sees has your name plastered on it. confused and worried at the same time, he hurriedly opens your letter.

dear renjun,

      you’ve been the first true friend i’ve made, though it took awhile for me to open up. i know that you wouldn’t understand my family situation, but despite that you chose to stay with me and try to lighten my mood. you became a sense of comfort.

renjun clenches the letter in his hand and runs out the place in hopes of being able to say a goodbye.

     you made me believe in things i didn’t believe in. you made me realize that someone is willing to stay with me. that someone would hold me in their arms when i cry. tell me everything will be okay, and that i’m worthy of my existence. unfortunately, it’s been decided by my parents that i’ll be studying aboard from now on. when i’ll be coming back is something i don’t know either.

he sees you loading your boxes into the car near the school entrance. sprinting to the entrance, you can be seen entering the car. renjun runs as fast as he can but before he gets there your car has already started driving away.

     but thank you for all the times you’ve checked up on me. for treating my wounds both the physical and emotional ones. simply being my friend made a big impact on my life. it made me look forward to going back to the academy. something about that stupid positivity of yours and your constant attempts to make a joke made my heart warm.

not giving up, renjun continues to chase after you. thunder could be heard as it signals future rainfall, but he refuses to give up chasing after his friend.

      i’m sorry for not being able to do the same and for not being able to repay you back for all those fond memories and pretty laughters. i only wish the best for you. for the first person i’ve learned to love and value close to my heart.

***

“do you want to stop the car?” your father says, signaling to the figure of renjun running in the rain after your car.

“no,” you reply, closing the window as another loud “stop” could be heard from your friend.

you couldn’t say a farewell to your friend, your heart just couldn’t handle it.

***

as renjun witnesses the car continuously getting smaller and smaller in the distance, his legs give out and his breathe struggles for air. coming to a stop, he breathes heavily as rain continues to pour down on him.

      i promise i’ll see you again in the future. i don’t break promises, renjun. it’s your choice to wait for me or to forget me, but for me i would always remember you as my first friend and my haven.

                                                                                        thank you,

                                                                                        your friend, y/n

[lowkeyleaffan]

Doctors Orders - Morgan Rielly part 2

A/N: no one really asked for a part 2 but I love Morgan and wrote on anyways :)

Words: 2985

warnings: a couple swear words

Sunday Nov 17, 2020

Morgan and you have been texting constantly since the date, he had asked you to go out again tonight and of course you agreed right away. There was something about Morgan that drew you to him. Although you couldn’t pin exactly what it is yet, you didn’t care that Morgan was Jake's teammate although you probably should. Jake was a great brother but he was overprotective. Being his only sister he wanted the best for you, so anyone you brought home was never good enough for you, or well him. You add the fact that Jake would often get his teammates from the Kings to intimate dates as well, it wasn’t fun. You are well aware that you should probably tell Morgan that he plays with your older brother, you can’t help but feel it’s too early and would scare him away. 

You were brought out of your thoughts by a knock on your door. You go open it and see Morgan standing there smiling holding flowers. Lily's to be exact, your favourite kind of flowers. You step aside and Morgan walks in.

“Hey, you look beautiful.” Morgan says as he gives you a quick hug and he kisses your cheek.

“Thank you, you look quite handsome.” you say.

He wasn’t dressed up by any means, just a nice pair of jeans and a white button down but it’s Morgan and he’ll look good in anything he wears. He hands you the flowers and you can’t but blush.

“These are for you.” he says.

“Thanks, let me put them in water.” you say before you go to the kitchen and get a vase. Morgan followed you in and suddenly you’re thankful you don’t have any pictures of you and Jake or your family in your living room. You filled the vase with water before you put the flowers in.

“I hope you like lily's.” he says laughing awkwardly “my mom said most girls do.”

“I do, they’re actually my favourite flowers.” You say smiling and you see him relax.

“Should we get going?” he asks and you nod. 

The two of you walk towards your door and you get your purse. You leave the apartment and walk to the elevator. The ride down and the walk to the car was quite but you didn’t mind. When you got to his car your eyes widen as you see the car of your dream in front of you. He opens the door to his BMW and you get in before he shuts the door, he goes around the car to get in the driver seat. When he gets in he pulls away and starts to drive.

“Can I know where were going?” you ask laughing.

“Nope, it’s a surprise,” he says glancing over to you quickly before he looks back to the road “my teammate Jake recommended it though.”

Great! So Jake knows Morgan is going on a date, and he knows you're going on one because he asked you to babysit so he could take Country out. Sometimes it’s a good thing Jake isn’t the smartest person in the world.

“How was work today?” Morgan asks. 

“Oh it was good, nothing crazy.” You say shrugging.

“Nothing crazy?” He asks laughing.

“Yeah, I just had a few labs and charts to go over. 6-6 isn’t the best shift but I’m used to them.” You say shrugging.

“Wait, 6pm to 6am?” He asks and you nod.

“Yeah, I was on overnights last week, I have tonight and tomorrow off before a week of 6am to 6pm. So I do 6 days on 2 off 6 days.” You explain as you pull up to the restaurant.

“Man I couldn’t imagine that.” Morgan says as he parks the car and turns it off. 

“But you can risk your body every night?” You asks as you unbuckle and Morgan opens his door. He doesn’t answer you before he shuts his door. He comes over to your side and opens the door for you extending his hand.

“Yeah.” He says shrugging and smiling softly as you take his hand. He helps you out do the car and shuts the door. 

He let’s go of your hand and puts it on your lower back as the two of you walk towards the restaurant. As you get closer you see that you’re at Sotto Voce, you can’t help but smile because this was the restaurant Jake and Country took your family to when they told everyone Country was pregnant with Luna. 

“I’m assuming you know this place?” Morgan asks looking to you before he opens the door and you walk inside.

“Yeah, my brother took my family here when he told us his wife was pregnant.” You explain as you get to the hostess. She looks at the two of you and smiles. 

“Hello do the two of you have reservations?” She asks and you look at Morgan. 

“Yeah, two under Morgan.” He says and she nods before she grabs menus and you follow her to a table. 

Morgan was quick to pull your chair out for you before you sit and he goes to sit across from you. He thanks the hostess before he looks at the menu.

“So tell me Y/N, are you a white or red wine kind of girl?” He asks smiling at you over the menu.

“I like beer more if I’m being honest but a good white is always welcomed.” You say smiling as the waiter comes over to the table.

“My name is Eli and I’ll be your waiter for the night, can I start you guys off with something to drink?” He asks and Morgan smiles.

“Can we get a bottle of white to share?” He asks and Eli nods before he walks away. 

There wasn’t much conversation as the two of you figure out what to eat. But when Eli returns with a bottle of wine and the two of you place your orders Morgan picks up his drink.

“Would it be too cheesy to cheers?” He asks sending you a small smirk causing you to pick up your glass.

“Only a little.” You say laughing. 

“In that case, cheers to a fun night.” He says and the two of you cheers your glasses before guy smile and take a sip. 

“So what made you want to become a doctor?” Morgan asks as he sets his drink down as you do the same.

“I always loved kids and wanted to be able to help them. I thought about being a kindergarten teacher but I got into science so my brother suggested I go be a pediatrician.” You explain and Morgan looks at you like in a way you can’t explain. Almost as if he’s holding onto every word.

“You mention a brother a lot is there only one?” He asks. 

“Yeah, it’s just two of us.” You say and he nods.

“What’s he like?” Morgan asks and you start to get scared. How close are Morgan and Jake?

“He’s great, he's 5 years older than me so he is very protective. But he missed my teenage years so even now he’s trying to make up for it.” You say.

“Why did he miss him?” He asks. Yeah Y/N why did he miss?

“Oh. He moved away when I was like 11.” You say. 

You can see Morgan about to question you more on it and you quickly cut him off.

“What about you? Are you an only child?” You ask and he shakes his head as he drinks more.

“I have a brother, Connor.” He says putting his drink down.

“What’s he like?” You ask.

“He’s awesome, he's probably the smartest guy I know. He’s always been super supportive and is always there when I need to rant.” He says smiling.

“Is he older?” You ask and he nods.

“By 2 years so he’s 28.” Morgan says as your food is brought to the table. 

The two of you ate well talking about your families. You quickly learn that Morgan loves his family. And I mean he loves him, the way he talks about Connor and his writing or his mom and the amazing work she did as a cancer researcher, who now owns her own company to the way he talked about his dad. It was just filled with so much love that you instantly wanted to meet them. You told him about your family. Mainly your parents because you didn’t want to give away that your brother plays with him. When he asked what Jake did you simply said he travels and Morgan left it at that clearly sensing you don’t want to talk about your brother.

You had told him about how you grew up in Woodstock and what it was like in the GTA. He has told you all about growing up in North Van. He had told you about how he left home to go play hockey in Saskatchewan because being an NHL player was all he ever wanted to do. You told him about how once you had your mind on being a doctor you focused on studying. 

When the waiter brought the bill over Morgan paid and the two of you left the restaurant. He had opened your door for you and you sat down before your phone goes off.

From Leah: I’m not home tonight ;) have fun with Morgan

To Leah: get that wink out of here asshole 

You shut your phone off as Morgan gets in the car and starts it up. 

“Is it actually 10:00?” He asks laughing and you shrug.

“I guess so.” You say laughing.

“I don’t know if you have plans tomorrow or not but do you wanna go get ice cream?” He asks and you nod.

“Yeah i’m off tomorrow but don't you guys fly out tomorrow?” You ask and he looks at you smiling.

“Yeah but not till like 10am.” He says before he pulls out of the parking lot. 

The drive to McDonald’s was quite only filled with the radio but it was nice. As soon as you got to McDonald's Morgan orders us ice cream sundaes before he pays. As soon as get them, Morgan drives us to a park and stops the car. The shuts the car off and hands you the ice cream. The two of you eat the ice cream in silence but once you’re finished he looks at you

“Follow me.” Morgan says getting out of the car.

You quickly follow him and he leads you to a random tree. He sits down and you sit beside him. He puts an arm around you and you lean into him. You spend the next two hours just talking and enjoying each other's company. Sure your topics of conversation weren’t anything crazy, it just turned into random questions. What’s your favourite type of cookie, what’s your favourite pizza topping, the best movie you’ve ever seen but honestly it didn’t matter. You could spend all night just listening to Morgan. You don’t know exactly what time it was but you were staring at Morgan as he talked about why dogs are better than cats. You weren’t exactly paying attention you were just watching him and admiring him.

“You’re not listening to me are you?” He asks with a goofy smile on his face and you shake your head. 

“No I zoned out.” You say and he laughs which makes you laugh. As soon as he stopped laughing you let your eyes fall to his lips before you look back to his eyes.

He seemed to get what you hinting at because he started to lean in. You did the same and right as you were about to kiss his phone went off causing you to pull away. He let out a sigh before he pulled it out and gave you an apologetic look.

“Hey Kerf.” He says as he answers it. So Alex was calling him.

“Wait hold up, you’re where? And I need to pick you guys up? Can’t you ask Muz or Micthy?” He asks clearly annoyed as you send him a soft smile “fine fine okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hangs up and gives you a sorry smile.

“I’m really sorry, but Tyson’s is apparently piss drunk and almost crying.” He says and you can’t help but laugh.

“Let me guess. Team dad?” You ask.

He nods before he gets up and puts his hands out. He helps you up but he doesn’t let go of your hand as you walked to the car. He opened the door and you got in. He shut the door before he got in the drivers side.

“I can drop you off at your apartment if you’d like first? I mean you can come if you’d like but you don’t have to come with me to-” He say before you cut him off.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.” You say and he smiles before his phone dings and he opens maps turns out the club they were at was near the park you’re at so it was a quick drive. 

As soon as you pull up you can see Tyson sitting down and Alex standing beside him. Alex spots Morgan car the second it pulls up and tries to get Tyson to send up. It doesn’t work which makes you laugh but Morgan just rolls his eyes and puts down his window.

“Tyson Barrie get your ass in my car now.” Morgan says the tone of his voice suggested there was no other option. 

Tyson huffs before he puts his arms up and Alex helps him up. Alex opens the door and gets Tyson in before he buckles him up and shuts the door. He goes and gets in the other side before he looks at you.

“Oh shit. Tonight was your date wasn’t it?” Alex asks and Morgan just sends him a look through the mirror.

“Yes it was.” he says though gritted teeth. “Y/N this is Tyson Barrie and Alexander Kerfoot. Kerf, bears this is-” 

“Guys what am I gonna do?” Tyson asks interrupting Morgan making you giggle as Morgan looks at you shaking his head.

“What’s your problem?” Morgan asks as he sets off towards your apartment building.

“People will laugh at me.” Tyson says sounds like hes about to cry. 

“Kerf? What the fuck?” Morgan asks.

“He’s upset he doesn’t have a goal yet and he’s worried people will laugh or call him a failure if he doesn’t score before the game agents the Avs.” Alexander explains.

“Not people. What will Gabe think?” Tyson says as we get to a red light and Morgan turns around.

“you got me to interrupt my date to come pick you up because you got too drunk all over being sad what Gabe will think?” He asks and you can tell hes annoyed.

“Duh!” Tyson says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s green Morgan.” You tell him softly before he rolls his eyes and turns back to the road. 

“Is this the same Y/N you were telling us about the other day? The doctor?” Tyson asks and you can see Alex hit him “what the fuck Kerf?”

Tyson then hit Alex back which lead them to slapping each other a bunch. You can see Morgan is losing his patience and is about to freak out. So, you took over.

“BOYS!” You yell out and two of them stop “I’m assuming I’m the same Y/N because yes I am a doctor.” 

“Can you fix a broken heart?” Tyson asks which makes you laugh.

“For the love of god Tyson.” Morgan mumbles under his breath. 

“Don’t worry Tyson, you’ll score before the Avs game. I believe in you.” You say and his face lights up like when you tell a family they can go home from the hospital. 

The rest of the ride was silent until you pull up to your apartment. Morgan parks the car and looks at Alex.

“I’ll be right back.” He says grabbing his phone and Alex nods.

“Nice meeting you two.” You say waving before you open your door.

“I’m gonna score a goal for you!” Tyson says before Alex rolls his eyes clearly growing annoyed with his friend.

“I think he meant nice meeting you too.” Alex says. 

You get out of the car and meet Morgan at the doors of your building. He holds the door and walks you to the elevator. The ride up was silent, in fact so was the walk to your door. As soon as you’re at your door however Morgan speaks.

“I’m sorry about that. I really didn’t know that would happen.” He says and you laugh.

“It’s fine Morgan.” You explain.

“Listen, I’m gone for like a week, but would you wanna go out again when I’m back?” He asks and you can’t help but smile.

“It’s a date.” You say kissing his cheek before he pulls you into a hug. 

As soon as you pull away you find yourselves leaning in again but once again his phone goes off. He picks it up and rolls his eyes.

“What?” He asks “tell him to put his shirt back on and get back in the car! I’ll be down in a second!” 

He hangs up and sends you a sorry smile.

“You bring your children home Morgan.” You say and he laughs before he gives you another hug “good luck this week.”

“Thank you.” He says once you pull away and you unlock your door. You go to head in as Morgan is walking away.

“Text me when you’re home?” You call out but it comes out more like a question than a statement.

“I will. Get some sleep!” Morgan says before you close your door and smile to yourself. 

It hasn't even been a week and this boy is slowly creeping into your heart.

[davidtennantxmichaelsheen]

david tennant’s obsession

a david tennant x reader

(you are the newest companion of the tenth doctor,david tennant develops feelings for you and is willing to do anything to make you his,when you fall for a guy on set David gets a serious case of the green eyed monster)

your on breakfast tv giving an interview about your first ever tv role

interviewer: so y/n hows it feel to be the newest doctor who companion?

y/n: it’s really exciting to be the tenth doctors companion i’m really forward to working with david tennant.

interviewer: is it true you’ve never acted before?

y/n: yes unless school plays count,i won the part in a magazine competition.

after the interview was over you headed to your trailer not long after sitting down to rest your feet as you’d been interviewed on various tv shows all day,you got a knock on your trailer door.

david: Hi it’s nice to finally meet my new co star,i bought you some chocolate as a welcome gift.I can’t wait to work with you tomorrow.

y/n: thank you that’s very kind of you David.

david: you have such a nice accent where are you from?

y/n: (where you live)

david: do you have a boyfriend back home?

y/n: no,why do you ask?

david: just making conversation,you have such a beautiful smile.I better go i have some interviews to do.

you decided to go to bed as you had to be up at 6am,at 5:30am there was a knock on your door you opened the door to find a massive plush bear holding a heart saying “i love you” you looked for a card to find the sender but couldn’t find one.

You put the bear on your bed and went to get ready for your first day of filming.

y/n: doctor be careful there could be daleks in there

doctor: don’t worry i’ll be fine just stay in the tardis.

director: and cut great job y/n and david you’ve earned a tea break

you sat at a table with david a cute guy handed you a cup of tea.

tea guy: is it to your liking? i can get you some sugar.

y/n: it’s fine what your name?

simon: my name is simon

y/n: well Simon thank you for the tea.

david glared at simon as he walked away.

david: i was thinking of taking you out for dinner tonight to celebrate your first day.

y/n: that’s very sweet of you david.

simon was listening to his ipod you heard your favourite song.

y/n: wow i love that band there my favourite

simon: there my favourite too,i actually have a spare ticket for a gig tonight as one of my friends dropped out last minute maybe you’d like to go with me?

y/n: you sure,those tickets are so hard to get hold of,okay it’s a date.Sorry david i can’t do dinner tonight maybe another time.

david: sure,it’s fine

simon went to his trailer to get changed on his wall written in red where the words “i’m watching you”

simon: seriously guys nice joke.

suddenly a hooded figure with a crowbar attacked simon leaving him with a broken leg.you heard simon’s scream and ran to his aid David appeared not soon after.

David: we should call an ambulance,what happened?

simon: some hooded guy attacked me with a crowbar

y/n: your gonna be okay

simon: why would someone wanna hurt me?

an ambulance drove simon away david put his arm round you to comfort you.

david: he left the tickets maybe you and me can go together?

y/n: who would write something like this,i got given a bear from some unknown sender.

david: you know what doctor who fans are like.

y/n: what if it was sinister like this incident here

david: whoever sent it has nothing but love for you.

you went to the gig with david,as you where walking home david took your hand and smiled.

y/n: i had fun with you today.

david: me too.

the next day filming resumed,the director was in a grumpy mood so he shouted at you.

director: why did we hire you y/n? remind me? your acting in that scene was shit.

you felt hurt by the directors words,david looked at the director in anger.The director went to his trailer for a time out.

david: dam i’ve gotta make an important call back in 5

the director poured himself a drink a hooded man appeared in his doorway holding a knife.you heard a scream and ran towards the trailer.on the wall written in blood was the words “you hurt her/him i hurt you”.

the director was bleeding from his stomach david took off his jacket to slow down the bleeding.You rang an ambulance.

producer: okay where taking a week from filming while police investigate this.

y/n: i’d go back to my london flat but how things are currently i’m too scared to be alone.

david: you can stay with me if you like.

david put your case in his spare bedroom,you unpacked your stuff while david made you both dinner.

y/n you made pasta i love pasta,david this is the start of a beautiful relationship

david: really you think so.

after dinner david and you watched tv,david slid his arm round your shoulders.You felt kinda uncomfortable so made an excuse to leave to go to bed.You took you drink with you.

y/n i’m tired i’m off to bed goodnight

david: if you get scared you can always sleep in with me

you laughed but didn’t really know if he was joking or not,you got changed for bed then got in and read a book for while till you fell asleep.David watched you sleep he took a pair of scissors and took some of your hair he smelt it and crept back to his room.You woke after a few hours so reached for your drink you accidentally knocked it on the white duvet cover so thought you better put it in the washing machine.You checked there wasn’t anything coloured already in the washer first,you found a grey hoody with blood on it.You looked in horror not knowing what to do you put it back in and went back to your room.

david: you okay?

y/n: i’m fine just put my empty glass in the sink.

david stroked your forehead and kissed you goodnight,when he was back in his room you snuck the front door to leave but it was locked.

david: not going anywhere are you?

y/n: i thought umm i’d go just for a little walk.

david: it’s 1am it’s dangerous out there,your much safer here with me.You’ve spilt drink on your bed you better take my bed.

y/n: yes thank you but where well you sleep?

david: next to you of course,it’s the safest place for you right now.

david grabbed your wrist and dragged you to his bedroom.

y/n: please don’t hurt me

david: why would i hurt you,i love you.i’d do anything to protect you.

y/n: even try to kill people? i saw the hoody with blood on it

david: it’s fake blood it was for a role,you think i’m the dangerous man on the set of doctor who? you also think i sent the i love you bear?

y/n: i never told you it said “i love you” how would you know that?.

david: okay the bear was me,the bad things where not me.

y/n fine i believe you i’m gonna go see simon tomorrow in hospital.

you lay on david’s bed,david lay next to you keeping his side of the bed.When you where fast asleep david put his arms around you.

david whispered “i did it all for you my precious y/n”

the next day you went to the hospital to see simon the police where with him.

police: so you say you heard him say “dam it” in a Scottish accent before you where found?

y/n: excuse me i think i found some crucial evidence towards the case it’s david tennant’s hoodie i found it in his washer.

police: thank you we’ll get it tested.

simon: how did you get hold of that?

y/n: i’m staying with him,i have to go back if i don’t david well know the police are on to him and run.I’ll make some excuse for the hoodie.

david: your home,how was he?

y/n: he’s out soon why are you wearing a black suit and tie?

david: for our wedding of course,i’ve sorted your outfit in the bedroom go put it on the ceremony shall start soon.

y/n: david your scaring me now.

david: it’s just a game go put it on.

david took you to his bedroom,you saw laid on his bed your wedding outfit.

y/n:i don’t wanna wear that

david: you shall do as you are told!!! aww baby i didn’t mean to shout.come here.

david held you tight in his arms you tried to pull away from him but his grip grew tighter you kicked him between the legs and ran towards the front door david grabbed you and pushed your back against the wall and kissed you on the lips.Suddenly you hear police sirens.

david: why are there police cars outside?

the police burst through davids door and arrested him,you where told to give a statement to a detective you waited in an interview room.In walked a familiar looking man

Alec Hardy: hello i’m alec hardy

you screamed,you awoke to find it was all a nightmare.David was laid beside you.

David: nightmare again? i’ve warned you about eating bloody cheese before bed.Oh can you wash my grey hoody tomorrow.

so it was all a bad dream or was it?.....yes it was.

the end