#at least i met fucking mario

[chromacattios]

went on a vacation that went completely off the rails by the end and i was like. stranded at a hotel by myself hours away from home so that was fun

very busy working on artfight stuff and trying to recover IM TRYING MY BEST THOUGH HERES A DEAD AUGGIE FOR YOUR TROUBLES

[batneko]

A couple people suggested an Arranged Marriage AU when I was asking for bowuigi ideas, but it took me this long to come up with a plot (sorry (not sorry) in advance if this one also gets really long).

Mario and Peach finally tied the knot, and Bowser is fine. Really. He doesn't care. He just doesn't feel like moving or leaving his room or eating anything but junk food. He's FINE.

And then one day a bunch of little pea people pop out of one of the caves and tell him they've got a prophecy that states their champion needs to marry the strongest ruler in the land in order to save the world at some unspecified future date. If he was a little less depressed Bowser would probably call bullshit, but right now he doesn't care enough to protest and the idea of marrying some random pea at least sounds better than being alone.

So he follows them into the caves and meets his "bride" (or groom? It's hard to tell under the giant veil) who seems startled to see him but doesn't say anything. Then Bowser has to go through a bunch of weird trials to prove he's the strongest, while the peas and their champion watch.

At least the champion is bigger than the rest of the pea people. That would have been awkward.

Bowser passes the trials easily and is shoved into a room with the champion to wait while the wedding is prepared. (Again, if he was thinking clearly Bowser would probably notice how much this screams "trap," but he isn't.) He does notice that the champion is staying as far away from him as physically possible in the small room, so Bowser tells them they've got nothing to fear from him.

"I'm not expecting anything. I won't make you DO anything. I just want somebody to stand by my side. If you can promise me that, there's just about nothing in the world I won't give you."

The champion calms down after that, and soon the wedding begins.

It's not a ceremony Bowser is familiar with, but he says yes in the right places, and the champion does too (is that voice a little familiar?) and at the end when Bowser lifts off the veil he sees a face that is pretty damn close to the last one he wanted to see right now.

Luigi is not entirely sure how he ended up in this position. He met the pea people some time ago and helped them with a small issue that had them granting him honorary membership into their community. He forgot about it after that until a group of them came and said they needed a champion, and asked him to attempt some trials. He wanted to refuse, but he's been feeling pretty lonely now that Mario is married. He could still drop in to visit, but it feels like intruding. And Mario hasn't been coming by very often at all.

So he did the trials and the pea people were overjoyed and he was starting to feel better until they said he needed to marry a king. Luigi DID refuse then, but the pea people showed him the prophecy carved into the cave walls, and he's been involved in enough destiny BS to not dismiss it out of hand. Maybe it won't be so bad?

Until he saw Bowser. Who... kind of looked like shit, actually. Even when doing more of those dumb trials (funny how they seem to be catered precisely to what Luigi and Bowser are both best at) Bowser looked like his heart wasn't in it. When Luigi heard that speech about just wanting someone to stand by his side, Luigi realized Bowser must be even more lonely than he is right now. HE actually DID lose someone he loved to that wedding.

So Luigi can't bring himself to tell the truth and break his heart. He goes through with the wedding and is already thinking about the logistics of moving in together when Bowser sees him and flips the fuck out.

Luckily(?) it turns out the wedding was, in fact, a trap, so when Bowser rips up the altar and throws it at a wall, it makes the pea people think he's onto them. The fight that ensues is enough that Bowser snaps back into something like his usual self, and Luigi is able to cover for how confused he is.

Luigi feels betrayed, Bowser feels humiliated, but at the moment they are very much united against the ones who used them.

Bowser starts picking guys up and threatening to eat them (he wouldn't, he hates vegetables), until somebody confesses that the prophecy is real... but the threat the champion and the king were supposed to defeat was the pea people themselves. They were planning to take over the world, and the wedding was supposed to be a distraction so they could eliminate them both at once.

Luigi leads Bowser to the carvings on the wall he'd seen before. Sure enough, there's one of what looks very much like the wedding ceremony they just had. The terrified pea person translates the inscription, which says the union will uproot all but the smallest peas.

"So you KNEW getting us together would ruin your plans, but you did it anyway? I'm starting to feel dumb for getting fooled by complete idiots."

There are still two problems. One: Bowser didn't make a secret of the fact he was leaving to get married, so when he goes back home he's going to have to explain why he's still... not. And two: the prophecy hasn't actually been fulfilled yet, there's still more pea people out there with megalomaniacal ambitions.

Luigi proposes a solution to both: why doesn't he just go with him? Stay by his side, just like he promised?

"You're crazy," Bowser says. "I know," Luigi says. "But think about how funny it will be to tell my brother." "...That will be funny."

It is.

Luigi settles in surprisingly easily. He gets his own room, a new wardrobe, and, once Bowser learns he likes to tinker, a workshop. The people don't mind him (a fair number don't seem to recognize him as Mario's brother, which hurts a little but saves trouble). He even gets along with Junior. Once he brings his dog over he's practically the kid's favorite person.

It's pretty much exactly what Bowser wanted. Luigi is devoted to his duties as "prince consort," always appearing next to Bowser in public and giving the illusion of a united front. If he actually argues with Bowser about a lot of his policy in private, nobody needs to know. Somehow, Bowser doesn't mind.

But it's torture, too, because Bowser has never HAD a real partner like this. Someone who supports him but can still disagree with him. There's a period of about a week where Bowser thinks this is working and will last and he can be happy.

Then they're talking about whether or not to have a traditional koopa wedding as well, and Luigi cracks a joke about how he sure hopes the pea people didn't have that rule where a marriage isn't real until you consummate it, because then they might actually have trouble when the prophecy kicks in.

And Bowser realizes he really really would like to consummate this marriage.

Shit.

[animentality]

not to be a boomer, but I do worry about the current generation of kids being raised with iPads.

first off. some of them literally can't hold a pencil because their parents never gave them physical toys to grip and play with, developing their fine motor skills.

you might ask why do we even need to learn how to write physically anymore- well, frankly, because if you're stranded on an island somewhere and you need to write HELP, you might not have the strength to hold a pencil, but you can at least hold a stick.

but on a more general note.

writing by hand helps you remember things better. it forces you to focus in a way that typing something word for word does not. a person can transcribe what a professor says without even thinking about it.

someone writing notes has to consider what to write and what to omit. it also activates more parts of your brain, forcing you to flex the parts of your brain related to learning and communicating, while also engaging the part of your brain dedicated to muscle control and precision.

but in general, I think the issue isn't even oh technology is bad and kids are getting dumber.

you can have PowerPoints AND take physical notes. that could help you learn even better than the olden days where you just had to remember everything that was thrown at you. or read very limited, out of date books.

the problem is that the generation that raised/is raising this generation of children just doesn't understand the true impact that all this technology will have on their kids. or they just don't care.

because our generation had the internet yes, but it wasn't widely accessible for most of us, sharing our computers with the entire family in the kitchen. it was also the internet in its infancy, where it wasn't quite so predatory, when it was lawless and disturbing, yes, but it wasn't weaponized by corporations trying to sell you things and steal your data, it wasn't flooded with bots and ai and all sorts of things that the human brain can't even distinguish as real or fake, especially when you're just a little kid.

that generation still played with physical toys. we celebrated when it snowed and we could stay home.

we also came from a gen that still, vaguely, cared about some form of community and had third spaces for kids to hang out.

90s children, who still had some memories of both playing outside on a playground and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 with their friends, who both went out to the mall and had a club penguin account.

we grew up with laptops and smart boards. maybe some of us had them in high school or college, but we still physically went to class and developed relationships. learned uncomfortable things about ourselves and others, the way humans do.

met new people and were exposed to new ideas, away from our parents. but not from some fucking influencer trying to sell us Sephora products.

we had to study for things, instead of just being able to Google shit for some bullshit online test.

which is also something that really concerns me. so many kids today can so easily Google answers for every test, and while tests don't ultimately matter in the real world, they still provide some basis for things that do matter.

like I'm just imagining medical students googling how to perform an appendectomy on the day of, and just using a YouTube tutorial to guide them through, and shuddering.

there are some things that the Internet can't teach you.

there always will be.

but I don't think my generation is really helping their kids find the balance that we were given naturally growing up.

the boomers and gen xers had fist fights and we had bullying someone online until they committed suicide.

and now kids use AI to spread fake nudes of girls.

but the laws haven't caught up with a lot of this stuff yet, and certainly won't while we have dinosaurs running our government. and culture takes even longer to change than laws.

I also worry because I know how badly covid affected kids worldwide. how they struggle to read and do math, because remote learning just isn't good for kids.

and I can't even blame them!! I literally teleworked for 4 years and even I can admit that I'm not nearly as good at focusing at home as I am in the office.

it's hard for kids with social anxiety and disabilities, yes I know, I know, trust me, I have social anxiety, and as a hybrid worker ATM, I highly doubt I'd be able to handle 5 days a week in the office.

but it's also not particularly good for kids to stay home ALL the time, entertaining themselves in their room and never being challenged, and never meeting people other than their parents.

the iPad is more of a symbol of that problem than the direct problem.

if your entire... world view is limited to what you can see on your iPad... I mean what a terrible world view you'll have.

you're a 10 year old using TikTok and all you ever see is the same opinion over and over until you can scarcely comprehend people who have an opposing opinion.

you see fake videos that seem so real. that must be real, and so comforting, aren't they, those videos that seem so real?

you let 30 year old influencers who are trying to grift people shape your world view.

and it's not even your fault.

your parents aren't doing anything to help you.

you're young and you're being barraged with entertainment and fake educational videos and how to guides that accidentally create mustard gas in your toilet.

your parents should be teaching you to find a balance between these things. they should be telling you what's real and caution you about the things you see.

they should limit your fucking time on the iPad actually. take you to a fucking park and let you roll in the mud or some shit.

and then when you're a teenager and a young adult, then you can start deciding for yourself what you believe.

but a lot of these weird millennial/gen z parents, man. just let your 1 year old scroll through vids on TikTok while you don't even talk to them or look at them once.

maybe it's because they don't see the harm in it, but I don't get it.

adults can watch TikTok all day and know, ahhh this is bad for me. I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing.

adults can see other adults doing dumb shit and say ah you're sponsored. someone paid you money to say and do that. silly.

but kids are just kids.

they don't have discipline and frankly, that's not their responsibility. that is yours.

you should be teaching them that they can't have everything in life at their finger tips at all times, actually.

the iPad doesn't solve all of your problems, nor will it think critically for you.

so I worry about if humanity can really keep up with its own technology.

our species is still in its infancy, believe it or not.

so maybe these are just growing pains, and future generations will be able to look back on this era and know the proper balance.

but as someone living in 2024.

I wonder just how much pain is left before we really mature and either make it or break it.

[httpjungkookcom]

Wobbly Legs | JJK (m)

Pairing | Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 7K-ish

Genre | Idol! Jungkook x "Man Eater”! Reader, Established Relationship Now (Excitinggg!!!)

Summary | Jungkook's never shy when asking you to try new things because he knows you'll never judge him, never laugh at him. (With malicious intent anyways.) That doesn't mean he's not nervous, hiding and ducking his head the entire time with a giant blush spread across his face while he's asking. With a bit of coaxing, Jungkook finally spits it out. Unknowingly, he's more in for it than he even realizes.

Index | pegging!!!, sexual content, dirty talking, Jungkook still gets praised a lot, fingering (male and female receiving), oral (male receiving), sub! Jk, bottom! jk, overstimulation, hair pulling, jungkook is still shy and flustered around the reader, jungkook in love like never before, makes sure his sweet gf cums like a good little bf, my personal bias for Jungkook’s nose (sue me lol), Reader is feral by the end of this lmao

A/N | Based off of my previous post, Man Eater Hunting. It's a long one, so I'll give you the general gist of it. Jungkook has a fat crush on the reader who happens to be Namjoon’s best friend, the reader thinks he just wants in her pants so she teases him for a while, pinning after each other for 40k words, and eventually proclaim their undying love for one another. In a secure, happy relationship by the end :) (A lot of fucking in between.) If you’d like to read it, it’s still pinned on my blog I believe. 

Ever since the both of you’ve gone public with your relationship, Jungkook has been happier than ever. He gets to hold your hand in public, kiss your forehead, hug your waist, and do everything else under the sun without the worry of your lecturing. Your identity is still private, and most media respect it enough to at least not post an unblurred photo of your face. There are still plenty of photos of the both of you unblurred, but you try hard to look on the bright side. While being public means stress and worry for you in terms of media and cameras, seeing Kook be so happy makes the familiar warm feeling when you’re with him spread throughout your chest. The members are also all very supportive, their youngest visibly cheerier even on days he’s tired, worn down, or even lost a Mario Cart round against Taehyung. 

You, Namjoon, and Yoongi still have your little group inside the larger group, one that Jungkook’s been trying to invade for the last 3 months. Yoongi constantly kicks him out of your studio, producing party, whatever you wanna call them, nights, claiming it’s a “no boyfriends allowed,” party. Jungkook then gets your favorite food or drink and pouts outside the studio door until you’re all done. Tae and Jimin still take stabs at you and Kook every so often, just enough to start a playful banter but never enough to actually hurt your feelings anymore. Jin has always been supportive and still is if not more. And Hope still takes jabs when he can, more so at Jungkook just to get him going than you. And lastly, Jungkook’s still Jungkook, just as needy as the night you’d met at Joon’s party. 

Date night today, mine or your place? 

Jungkook’s notification flashes across your screen, phone resting on the kitchen island as you cook dinner. A giant smile spreads across your face before you can even think to stop it, rushing to text him back. You type back with your pinky, other fingers too dirty from the ingredients. 

Mine, I’m cooking already :) 

Be there in 15.

He’s over in 10 minutes max, softly knocking on your front door. You open it with your elbows, hands held away from anything that doesn’t need seasoning smeared against it. Quickly, you dodge the embrace that you know happens when Jungkook steps into your apartment, hurriedly running off back to the kitchen. “I don’t wanna get your nice shirt all dirty,” You justify your retreat before he even has a chance to ask, you already know it's coming from the soft exhale you just barely caught while running for security.  

“That doesn’t mean run away from meeee,” Kook whines back, following your warpath to the kitchen as he wraps his arms around your frame. He’s careful to keep his fingers away from any hot surfaces, taking the opportunity to place his palms on your chest without lecture. Besides that, he’s gone to the world as his face buries itself into your shoulder. “How’s your new job going?” He mumbles against your skin, causing goosebumps to shoot down your spine. Feeling the smirk from him on your skin, the little shit knows exactly what he’s doing. ”My little lead director of communications.” 

(Namjoon swears he didn’t put in a good word for you at his company regarding the application, but you’re almost 99% positive he did. You reassure yourself that you deserve to be there by saying the interview went well at least.)

“Everyone’s so nice, you know?” You begin, trying to fight off the laugh that threatens to overflow. “My new nickname is The girl Jeon Jungkook picks up after work, in the office. And sometimes it’s, Doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Is he having an affair?!!” You joke dryly, looking over your shoulder at him. “Because there’s no way we could everrr be in a relationship in this universe.” You chuckle.

At this, Jungkook tries hard not to laugh at your dismay. He doesn’t try very hard, eventually cracking up. “Hey, what can I say? I’m popular.” He cracks, earning him a soft elbow in the ribs that quickly makes him retreat away from you. “Sorry! Sorry! Do you want me to talk to them, and tell them it’s not cool? Or have a staff meeting about bullying and gossip?” 

Jungkook is lucky he’s so pretty, you think. This only makes your dismay worse, corners fighting hard to not tug up in a smile at how ridiculous he sounds. “That would make it worse, mom.” You finally crack into a smile, “If you were to go in there and tell them off like I’m 5 years old, I’d put in my two weeks immediately.” You laugh, putting the food onto plates before heading into the living room. This part of your and Jungkook’s routine is almost solid without how many date night-ins you’ve had in recent months. Kook goes for the drinks and utensils before joining you on the couch, clicking on the television. 

You can almost hear the cogs turning in his brain. “Or, I can send a strongly worded email.” He adds, sitting down before pulling your legs over his lap. “No, no. I leave a voicemail. that’ll really get ‘em.” 

“Koookkk.” Groaning, you can’t help but begin to laugh by the end of it. “I think, and hear me out, don’t get going just yet.” Your hands are held out in front of you. “Maybe, you don’t have to pick me up at my office every day when we leave the building. Maybe we can just meet in the garage or something. That way it’ll slowly die out of the conversation.” Jungkook’s almost offended by your words, dramatically placing a hand over his heart as if you’d shot him. 

“That's the best part of my day, not happening.” Jungkook gives one hard shake of his head, a definitive no before he resumes eating. 

“The best part of your day can be me walking to you in the parking garage instead.” You shoot, watching as Jungkook pretends to think hard about it. The final verdict is another hard shake of his head, signaling no. “Ugh, fine how about the cafeteria?” Another no. “Breakroom?” Another no. “Common areas?” Another no. “Jungkookkkk, work with me,” You complain, pointing at him threateningly with your chopsticks as you drive your foot into his abdomen. 

“I like picking you up at your office.” He shrugs as he sets his food aside, going to grab your foot in his hold. The last time this happened, jungkook tickled you half to death, eventually earning him a hard kick to the temple. (You felt horrible, and he couldn’t shoot content for a week.) Immediately, you make your foot retreat in fear of his safety. He completely ignores the next train of complaints from you. In retaliation, you crumple up a napkin and bounce it off of his head, which he still doesn’t acknowledge. 

“I can’t be called The girl Jungkook picks up, at my job. I really can’t Kook.” 

With an exaggerated sigh, Jungkook finally gives in. “Fine, we can meet at the cafeteria.” He almost whines, pinching your calf lightly to display his grievances. After your mini celebration that Jungkook mopes throughout, the both of you get comfortable with just eating and watching the show as it fills the silence. Jungkook’s finished eating much faster than you are, waiting impatiently for you to be done. As soon as your plate hits the coffee table, he’s pulling you closer. “I miss you.” He starts, laying back and dragging you along with him.

“You see me every day.” You genuinely laugh, cuddling close to him as you continue to watch the show, cheek squished on his chest. 

“It’s just not the same.” He's never satisfied. “When you’re working you’re all dressed up, and put together, and have your little bag filled with papers and fuck knows what else.” You chuckle softly, glancing up at him. “I miss just hanging out, watching tv, wearing pajamas, and you making fun of my toe socks which are very comfortable, FYI.  We’ve been so busy recently.” At that, he holds you just the smallest bit closer. Your arms wrap around him in return, hands pancaked in between his back and the couch cushions. Glancing up, Jungkook’s soft gaze meets yours, a small smile spreading across his face. You return the smile, reaching up to hold his cheeks in your palms. 

“First of all, the socks are atrocious. I only put up with them because it’s you.” You laugh loudly. 

“Awwwww.”

“Secondly, you remind me of your younger self, Kook. It’s like I can still see him in you.” You smile hard, rubbing along the bridge of his nose with your pinky. If you were anyone else, Jungkook would tell you off for pointing out his nose, maybe even cuss a bit. But it's you, and he knows how much you rave about how cute you think it is, so he lets you slide your finger across. “So loving, so sweet Jungkook.” You can’t help but grin, moving to softly pink his cheeks in between your thumbs and index fingers. His teeth show slightly from the stretch, making you beam back at him. “My sweet boy.” You coo, finally releasing him as you lay back on his chest. Jungkook holds you even closer after that. 

Jungkook’s fingers absentmindedly scratch along your back, every now and then rubbing the goosebumps that sprout up in their wake. You’re more focused on the movie than anything, brows furrowed together slightly as you listen closely to the dialogue to not miss a single detail. Jungkook, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. It’s already been an hour, you’re paying little to no attention to him and he’s growing impatient. The innocent scratches turn into heavy petting, eyes glued only to your frame, as his hips constantly readjust in their own accord. Trying to be subtle, Jungkook does his best to slowly hike your top up to get his hands on your bare skin. You’re more than aware of it, purposely ignoring him as you’re dead set on finishing up the stupid murder mystery, clue reminiscent, movie where you have to find out who the killer is. “Kook, go rub one out or something. I have 30 minutes left.” You complain, swatting away his hands as they begin to trail further underneath your shirt. 

“No, it’s not the same.” He immediately whines, curling up more to you, face burying itself in your neck as he sits up slightly. You can feel the soft kissing, leaving light marks on your skin that he soothes with his tongue. “Do you remember when we were in my studio for the first time?” Jungkook almost shutters as he lays under you. So much for movie night and cuddles. “And you hit my prostate? I wanna do that again-“ He whines, burying his face in your chest in embarrassment. Your attention is finally diverted from the movie now, glancing down at him. You can only see the tips of his ears, burning a bright red that you can only guess is also spread across his cheeks. “But more.” He adds. 

“You want me to fuck you? Is that what you’re saying?” Your voice drops, Jungkook immediately perking up at the tone with a small smile. “My boy, you want just my fingers, or you wanna be fucked?” Your hands come up to gently hold his head in them, fingers rubbing along his cheeks. Jungkook naturally leans into your touch, smiling softly as he deliberates. 

“I want you to fuck me.” Jungkook finally states, nodding to solidify his statement. His words are booming in your otherwise quiet apartment. 

“Oh shit.” You chuckle, his tone catching you slightly by surprise. At the small laugh, Jungkook’s face falls. “No, no I just laughed because it was so blunt and loud. Not at you, Kook.” You're quick to reassure, leaning forward to place a kiss on his forehead. “I think I may have a strap-on from-“ 

“You have a strapon?!?!” Jungkook interrupts you, shock and jealousy coursing through his voice, making you laugh. 

“Listen! It was a gag gift from my friends in college, it’s not even used.” You roll your eyes, watching as he calms down. “You never let me finish my sentences.” You laugh, sitting up on his lap. He’s quick to follow, lurching into a seated position to meet you. “When bun?” His brow immediately creases. 

“Today? Maybe?” The smirk that grows on your face is cheek aching, hands holding his face in your palms. Your thumbs gently brush his cheekbones, making him instantly melt in your hold. 

“You’re cute, Kook.” You grin hard, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his nose. “Of course, I’ll fuck you bun. Happily. C'mon, to the bedroom.” You lightly slap his shoulders, encouraging him up. In a flurry, he’s hoisting the both of you from the couch in a millisecond, arms wrapped tightly around your waist. (He’s almost running into the bedroom, your legs wrapped tightly around him.) Jungkook wastes no time, allowing himself to fall backward onto the bed. 

You land with a huff, Jungkook quickly situating you on his lap. “Alright, alright, I’m ready.” He smiles hard, ripping a laugh from your throat. “Do your worst.” It’s comfortable, the way your bodies easily fit together with one another, lips slotting together. You can taste the strawberry chapstick he wears so often, and smell the subtle citrus perfume that he always puts on when it starts to wear off. As always, Jungkook is easy to rile up. Slow kisses, pulling on his hair, slipping your hand underneath his shirt, and he’s already in over his head. 

“You’re too easy, Kook.” You smile up at him softly, biting the soft skin on his neck as a dark mark begins to show. “I really hope you’re not always like this, with all your other girlfriends.” You tease him, knowing just how much he hates it. (He really does hate it, how could he want anyone else when he has you?)

“Y/nnnnn,” He complains, hands squeezing your thighs on either side of his waist hard, leaving small bruises in their wake. “You know I’m only this easy for you, always only you.” 

“Hmmm, I don't know. Mr big league, international idol.” You continue to press all of his buttons, fighting back the smile as you look for the expression you already know he’s wearing. It finally makes you crack, cheeks hurting from how hard the smile is. Your hands slip underneath his ridiculously sized T-shirt, cold hands leaving goosebumps in their path as he involuntarily flinches away from them. You bunch it in your hands, peeling it off and over his head. “What was that one show you had recently, all sold out? How man fans did you-”

“You know that’s inaccurate,” Jungkook states immediately, dead serious which makes you laugh out loud. 

“Alright, alright. Just getting you all bothered, bun,” The whine Jungkook lets out as you jokingly flick a nipple makes you ache, snapping you back into the reality of what the two of you are actually doing. “Fuck, bun. You gonna let me play with your pretty tits, hmm?” His fluffy hair bounces from how aggressively he shakes his head. You groan back, experimentally taking a nipple in between your teeth, harshly running your tongue over it.

“Feels good, feels good.” Kook whines, hips involuntarily grinding up against you. A small yelp unconsciously falls from him as you bite, one of his hands coming up to press firmly along your shoulder. “Biting? You just bit me!” He whines loudly, rubbing his chest. It makes you laugh.

“You bite me all the time without realizing it.” You counter, softly pulling his hand away by his wrist. Your tongue meets his chest once more, soothing over the mark before harshly licking, sucking, and biting once more. “You’re also always so rough with me, bun. Are you gonna let me be rough with you?”

“If you ever get there, sure. Seems like you’re stalling, you scared beautiful?” It’s taunting, finally his turn to push your buttons as he smirks down on you. 

“We’ve gotta get you prepped Kook, otherwise you’ll be no fun to play with.” Once again, another tease meant to rile him up. Jungkoko groans just from your words, hands pulling your hips closer. Before he has a chance to counter, you’re moving down to meet his waistband, tugging on the sweatpants. Your thumbs hook underneath, catching both his underwear and tugging them off in one easy swoop. He’s rock hard, his cock hitting his lower stomach. “Can you reach over and grab the lube?” The bedside table is being slung open in two seconds flat, everything slapping against the front. Jungkook avoids the look you give him. 

“Shut up, I don't wanna hear it.” He chuckles, handing it over after fishing around for it. “So how do you? How do we uh? Fit it in.”

Your heartbeat catches for a moment, glancing up and catching the slight nerves on his face before they disappear. “Kook.” You smile gently, a fond feeling in your chest. “We start slowly, Kook. We definitely don’t have to rush and if you want to stop we can always have a raincheck.” Jungkook listens intently, eyes wide as he takes everything in. Slowly. he nods as you finish up your speech. “So, we start slow.” You give him one last reassuring smile before you take the lube from him, being extremely generous as you apply it to your fingers. 

His hips jerk into your hold as you take his aching cock with a soft fist, nerves making him jumpy. “Bun, relax. You know I’ll take care of you.” You coo to Jungkook, a blush flushing across his entire face. 

“I know, I know you always do.” Jungkook nods, coaxing himself to relax as he lays down rather than resting on his elbows. You see part of his face, eyes screwed shut as he focuses on your touch. His breath sucks in as the cold lube meets his skin, legs tensing around your body where you sit between them. 

“You have to relax, Kook.” You reiterate once more, sliding down slightly as your lips brush against his head. “You’ve been here before, bun.” You giggle, taking his head in your mouth as you focus on distracting him. He’s distracted easily, one hand reaching down to run his fingers through your hair, gently pulling at the strands. You allow him, sinking down slowly as you gauge his reaction. 

“Feels good.” You can vaguely hear him whine, head pushed back into your pillow as he tries his hardest to focus on your mouth. As his legs relax around your body, losing himself in the pleasure, you easily slip your middle finger into his ass. “Fuck me!” He whimpers, clamping down around your finger. 

“You’re okay, bun. You’re okay.” You reassure, glancing up to catch his expression. After he relaxes a bit, you sink onto his cock once more, not yet moving your finger. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze burning into your skin, watching intently as your nose brushes his abdomen. Experimentally, your finger draws out before easily sliding back in, pulling the smallest whine from the very back of his throat. Sinking back down onto his cock, you fight the gag off as he grinds into you, finally allowing the pleasure to wash over him again. 

“Fuck! Is this what it feels like?” Jungkook whines loudly as you slip another finger in, gently pressing against his prostate as his hips readjust on their own.

“Feels like when what?” You draw before sinking back down onto him, your tongue harshly against rubbing the underside of his cock. 

“When we fuck, when I’m in you.” It’s whiny and slightly breathless as he bites back his moans. Jungkook flushes a bright red across his chest and face, breath uneven as his chest rises and falls with heaves. 

“Not at all, you’re way bigger than my fingers, bun.” It’s a boost in his confidence, immediately vanishing as one of your hands meets the back of his thighs. “Up Kook, just a bit so I can work you open,” He whines, so deep and guttural that you almost want to whine back. You're at three fingers when you actually start, beginning to fuck into him with your fingers, curling them to hit his prostate. His poor cock sits untouched on his abdomen, softly dripping precum onto his stomach from your touch. 

Jungkook knows he’s in for it as you shuffle around in between him, climbing to your knees as his legs rest around your waist. It’s a change in your recent dynamic for sure, but he can't help the way his cock throbs the whines that slip past his bright red, bitten lips. Your free hand runs along his thigh, pulling it up slightly more as you push his hips into the mattress, fingers working him open and closer to his end. 

“Kook?” You call softly, earning you a small hum in return. “You gonna be good for me, cum from my fingers?” Truthfully, he doesn’t know if he can but he trusts you enough to take him there. He nods quickly, bangs falling into his face. You pull another whimper just from changing your position, leaning over him slightly to watch all of his expressions. Taking his cock into one hand to push him closer, the other fucking him open, your body pressing him into the mattress, his mind just melts. His body feels hotter than humanly possible, mind reeling from all the sensations at once. 

“Good boy Kook, my good boy.” Cooing, your lips meet his jaw as you gently kiss his hot skin. 

“Close, really close.” Jungkook doesn’t quite understand the feeling that grows in his abdomen, only that it’s continuing to build as your fingers press harshly into him. He barely registers the feeling of your hand leaving his aching cock, mind too preoccupied with the incoming orgasm. “Coming.” His entire body shakes, hands searching for any sort of contact as they wrap around your body, pulling you closer to him. Jungkook’s sure he’s never experienced something like this before, sure he’s never come this hard in his entire life. 

“Easy, Kook. It’s okay.” You help him through it, milking it for the most pleasure you can give him. Slowly easing your ministrations to a stop, you plant kisses around his face. Jungkook cums harder than you’ve ever seen, thighs still shaking against your body as he rides it out. “You okay?” He looks like he’s just run a marathon, chest heaving as he comes back. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Kook huffs, flushed bright red underneath you. 

“I’ll be right back? Okay?” He nods, allowing you to slip from his legs and instead begin to rummage through your bedside dresser. His eyes burn into your skin as you finally find it, the overly realistic strap-on held in place by a leather harness. “You still sure about this, bun?” You have to fight to untangle it, embarrassment following across your cheeks as you work on putting it on over your lace panties. Jungkook doesn’t even register your struggle as he watches. 

“Yeah, yes. Please, Y/n.” Jungkook whimpers, cock throbbing as it slaps against his stomach. Nervousness sets in as you resume your spot in between his legs, hands rubbing along his thighs as they tense beneath your touch. “You’ll be gentle, right? Please?” He whimpers, taking one of your hands in his own. 

“I’ll be as gentle as you are with me.” You giggle, slowly pushing his thighs back up to press his hips into the mattress. “Kidding, of course, I’ll be gentle, Kook,” You reassure, finally dropping the small nag as you once again fish for the lube. Jungkook fights the whimper that threatens to fall past his lips as he watches you lube yourself up, eyebrows scrunched together. “Ready bun?” 

His lips are caught between his teeth as he nods, one of his hands meeting your own that holds his knee back. Leaning forward, you offer a quick kiss before starting. It’s slow, his chest heaving as you slowly allow the head to slip inside. 

“You’re okay, bun.” You hum, redirecting a free hand to slowly jerk his cock. Sliding in slightly further, a loud moan slips past his lips as you brush along his prostate, cock throbbing in your hold. You have to talk him through it, sliding in inch by inch and allowing him to readjust each time. Rocking your hips slightly, Jungkook slowly takes the last inch before you’re fully inside, the base of the strapon grinding slightly against his skin. “You alright bun?” You coo, gently pulling an arm away from his flushed face. 

Jungkook’s eyes are slightly watery, lips shining and bright red from how much he’s bitten down on them. Allowing him to adjust, you lean down to kiss him, lips sliding against one another as you grind against him. With a small nod from Jungkook, he encourages you back up. 

“You’re so deep.” He whimpers as a response, clenching and unclenching around you. If only you could feel it, you’re sure you’d go insane. Seeing him so fucked out, pinned underneath your hold, whimpering and crying as he takes it., and being able to feel it? You’re bordering insane already. “Move, please.” Jungkook whines, so genuine that it causes you to clench around nothing. 

“So good for me, Kook.” You praise, sliding out and easily pushing in in one swift thrust. The sound it makes is absolutely lewd, adding to your insanity. 

“Fuck! Fuck!” 

“So whiny, crying and I’ve barely started bun. Barely even moving right now.” You tease, watching as his cock bounces with each taunt. You can’t help but grind against him, feeling the faint warmth of his skin on your lower stomach. 

“Yeah? Thought you wanted to be rough with me?” Jungkook knows what he’s doing, knows how much he’s essentially fucking himself over with his words, but he doesn’t care. He’s in trouble as you hike his thighs up with ease, pinning him to the bed how he pins you constantly. Vulnerability spreads throughout his entire body, open wide in front of you before you’re following, thighs pressed against the curves of his ass. 

“Bun, be careful with your words.” You tease, giving him one hard snap of your hips to prove your point. It gets it across easily, forcing a moan past his lips which you swallow in a sloppy kiss. Jungkook’s burning up from the inside out, watching as your chest bounces each time you rock your hips into him, feeling the warmth of your skin each time you bottom out. His legs are hiked up higher than he’s ever been, knees almost touching the bed beside his torso as you fold him in half. “You alright, bun?” You ask, not paying much attention as your mind is focused on wedging your hands in the folds of his knees better. 

“Yeah, yeah. I just didn’t know this would feel so intense?” He mumbles, hands reaching around his legs to hold your forearms in his palms. Moans fill your bedroom, Jungkook unable to hold back a single one. “Vulnerable? Feel this good? I don’t know which term I’m looking for.” 

“Vulnerable? You feel vulnerable Kook? Do you want me to slow down-”

“No! No, I don’t feel vulnerable with you.” Jungkook wears a soft smile across his face, quickly broken as you rock harder into him. “The position is just…compromising I suppose.”

You can’t help but giggle at him. “Good, bun. I’m glad.” Grinning, you catch his lips in a quick kiss before pulling away once again. To get more leverage, (you’re going off of stuff you’ve seen Jungkook do,) you push yourself up onto your feet. “Being so good, taking me so well.”

“Are you, fuck fuck ah,” He whines, clenching around you as you’re able to finally set a steady pace, using your legs as leverage. “Are you mating pressing me right now?” Jungkook cracks in between moans, trying his hardest to maintain his composure. His brows are scrunched together, lips bit bright red as his lids struggle to stay open, completely and utterly fucked out. There’s a thin layer of sweat slowly building, making his skin shine prettily. 

“Wish I could feel you Kook, wish I could.” You ignore his previous comment, eyebrows scrunching together as you focus on your movements. In any other context, Jungkook would coo at you and rub the small wrinkle that forms out with both thumbs, place a kiss there maybe. But in this context, with the concentration you’re giving him, it’s a scary one.

“Fuck, don't say that. Don't know how I’d react if I was able to feel you.” He reaches, teasingly pulling you in by your hip and throwing off your balance.

“I’m about to slip a fucking sleeve over your cock so you stop being such a smartass, bun.” You growl, snapping hard into him. It’s the whinest moan you think you’ve ever heard from Jungkook since you’ve met him, cock jumping at the threat. “Such a whore, Kook.” You can’t help but quip, watching as he stifles the moan that threatens to spill out. 

“Think I’m gonna cum again,” His hands move to rest on his forehead, covering his face from you. 

“Uhh uhh, you know better than that bun.” The smugness drips from your voice, one of your hands coming to pin Jungkook’s hands away from his red face. “C'mon, don’t make me punish you, cum for me like a good boy.” There’s a feral-ness in your voice, wanting to see him squirm underneath you, cry for you as he cums. Your hips snap on their own accord, watching as his soft pink lips part with each moan you work out of him. 

“Fuck, Kook. So beautiful underneath me feels like I’m gonna die,” You complain with a smile, leaning over his body to bite softly into his chest. And you move to nip his neck, then the very base of his jaw, before moving back to his chest again to mark him. “Can't take it, how good you are.” You praise more, watching as he teeters on the very edge of his orgasm. His brain genuinely melts, jaw falling slack just the slightest bit as he full-body cums again, legs shaking around your waist. Jungkook breaks your hold on his arms, pulling your body close as he kisses you, sloppy and needy. Your palms trail along his skin, offering comfort to his shaking thighs and heaving chest as you slowly soothe them. “Easy, bun, easy.” You coo in between kisses, eventually slowing the needy kisses down to gentle and slow to help him catch his breath. 

“Holy shit,” He finally offers, making you chuckle as you softly smooth his messy hair, pushing his bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

“You’re making such a fucking mess, bun. Just fuckin oozing everywhere like a whore, can't help it huh?” Teasing, you swipe at his abdomen to collect some of it, showing it off on your fingers. Jungkook can't help but tremble, whines spilling past his lips from your teasing. “You okay? Wanna take a break?” You check in after dropping your teasing tone, sitting up a bit on your heels to assess him. There are way more bite marks than you remember giving him, some showing the indents of your teeth in his flesh. It makes your cheeks warm, thumbs swiping the bite marks gently to try and smooth them out (it doesn’t work at all.) 

“No, no, I think I have one more in me at least. God, pretty girl, fuckin feral huh?” Jungkook smiles, rubbing over the bite marks himself. Embarrassment overcomes you, cheeks reddening as all you can do is smile. “I like it.” 

“What can I say, gotta mark what’s mine.” You offer cheekily, leaning in for one last kiss before resuming. “You think you can take it on your knees?”

“Oh fuck,” It’s more of a whimper than anything, Jungkook knowing this is, in fact, going to be the last one before his mind melts entirely. “Think I might die if I take it on my knees.” He offers, whimpering as you slide out of him to allow him to move. If Jungkook was luckier, you suppose you’d go easier on him, maybe whisper sweet nothings into his ear as you give him back shots. As he flips over, ass waving in the air, you feel as if you’ve been starved for the last year. His waist looks smaller than normal like this, shoulder muscles flexing as he rests on his arms, thighs shaking just the slightest bit from his previous 2 orgasms. 

Definitely not going to be gentle, you discern. Your hands instinctively reach for his ass, lightly slapping this skin underneath your palms to test his reaction. He offers a muffled groan, pushing his ass back into you. Slapping slightly harder, his skin begins to redden into a faint handprint. “My little whore.” You can't stop yourself, Jungkook pushing himself back once again. Pushing yourself up onto your knees, you easily slip in the head, earning a throaty groan from Kook. “God, bun.” Is all you can manage, reaching over into your bedside drawer to fish out another toy. “Be good and get this wet for me, alright?” You almost purr, a giant smile spread across your face as you hand him the fleshlight. 

You slide into him with a wet shhlickk, humming softly as your hips meet his soft skin. Glancing around to the best of your ability, Jungkook’s obviously conflicted as he steals glances at the bottle of lube that sits near him. “Bun, I said wet it.” You drawl, leaning over his body to reach, Jungkook letting out a whine from how deep you are. You take it from his stilled hands, his mind too preoccupied with the way your hips press into his ass. “Cum a couple of times and can’t think, huh?” You tease, pushing the toy up to his lips, grinding it against him as he begins eating it out. 

Jungkook groans, so deep and throaty that you would've sworn he just came without even being stimulated, mind beginning to catch up to all the sensations. “Please, move Y/n. Can’t take it, too deep.” Kook whimpers, pushing his ass harder into your hips. Death grip still around the toy, you're unmoving. 

“Bun, cmon. Be good for me, this is the first thing I've asked of you this entire time.” It’s a sight for your sore eyes, pink tongue slipping into the clear center as his eyebrows form that familiar crease between them with concentration. The hand not holding the toy slides around his torso, gently rubbing over his sensitive chest and nipples to give him some sort of touch. You can't help but clench around nothing, watching as his jaw flexes and tenses with each movement. Pulling it away, you're almost drooling with desire. “You gonna let me be rough with you, bun?” You tease, easily sliding the toy partially over him. 

He just shakes underneath you, absolutely quivers as he sinks into the toy. “Yes, please. Please be rough, be mean,” He whines, biting down hard on his lower lip as you rock into him, forcing him to rock into the toy in turn. 

“See Kook? I move, you move.” You can’t help but smile, chest still flush against his back as you allow him to get used to it. Both hands find his chest, squeezing, pinching, and rubbing wherever they can. Jungkook’s basically panting underneath you, abs clenched hard in concentration as he tries not to cum embarrassingly early. “Gonna move now, alright?” He offers a nod as an answer, eyes screwed shut and lips bit down. 

You force a deep moan out of him with the very first thrust of your hips, not only hitting his prostate but forcing him completely into the clear toy underneath him. “Gonna cum early Kook? Feels too good, huh? Just so many different sensations happening at once.” You tease him. Reaching forward, you pull hard on the back of his hair, Jungkook’s being forced up onto his hands.

“Feels good, really good. Too good.” He almost babbles, making the heat in your abdomen pool. “Don't wanna cum yet, but might.” He whimpers, mouth falling open as you snap your hips hard into him. Without even thinking, you allow your fingers to slip into his mouth, pressing down hard on his tongue. Jungkook genuinely drools, coating your fingers and creating a string that falls onto the covers. “Lemme cum, wanna cum, bad.” 

“You have to ask nicely.” You grit, grinding into him. One of your arms wraps around his torso, holding him close. Your lips meet his shoulder, biting down slightly on the warm skin.

“Please lemme cum.” It’s the best you’re going to get in his current state, mind seconds from leaving his head completely. 

“Go head bun, come hard for me.” You coo, keeping your antics up to the best of your ability given the exhaustion slowly creeping up on you. (You’re older than Kook, give yourself a break. You don’t have as much stamina as the boy.) “Be good and let me hear you, bun.” You could cum just from listening to him, whining, moaning, and borderline crying as he cums for the last time of the night. His thighs shake against yours, hands creating fists around the covers as his knuckles go white. “Easy, Kook. Easy, you’re okay.” You help him through it, hands roaming his body to help ground him with your touch. Slowly, you maneuver him back down to his elbows to rest. “Gonna slide out, okay, I’ll be careful.” Talking him through it, you help him onto his back, tossing the toys aside to be cleaned. 

“Holy fuck.” Jungkook whines, covered in his own fluids as he finally rests entirely. There’s drool covering his chest, absolutely lewd as he peers up at you with half-open eyes. “Gonna have to do that again, sometime.” 

“You okay, Jungkook?” You ask gently, taking him into your arms as your lips meet for the millionth time that night. 

Jungkook beams at you, the widest and most cheesy smile you’ve seen in a while. “Of course, babe. More than okay, thank you for doing that with me.” He grins, cupping your face in one hand as he kisses you. 

“C'mon, let’s go take a bath. I don't think your legs could stand long enough for a shower.” You tease. He knows you're right, but he profusely denies it in an attempt to prove you wrong and show just how strong he is. (He needs your help walking to the bathroom, wobbly legs himself.) You allow him to keep his dignity, not bullying him too much on the way to the tub.

“Wait, you didn’t cum did you?” Jungkook makes the sudden revelation in the bathroom, pulling you close to his chest. Your hands meet his biceps, small smiles spreading across both of your faces.

“No, but it’s okay I- KOOK!” He catches you off guard as he easily dips a hand into your panties, fingers immediately slipping through your folds from how wet you are. “It’s okay, I enjoyed seeing you like that for me regardless, I don't have to cum to enjoy things you know?” 

“Hmmm, but it’d make me feel a lot better.” Jungkook cheekily smiles, already working you up as he slots his thigh in between your own. “Please cum for me, just once. I’ll lend you my fingers, please cum on my fingers.” He’s basically begging, waiting for you to nod before moving his hand anymore. It's hotter than you would've thought, you riding his fingers while standing, sloppily making out as he swallows your moans with soft groans, bodies held close together, warm skin against warm skin. “Sound so pretty, angel. These sounds just for me, all mine,” He mumbles against your lips, making you clench hard around him. 

“Just a bit more, Kook. Almost there,” You whine loudly, grinding against him.

“I’ve got you, bun’s got it.” Jungkook easily takes you there, basically knows your body like the back of his hand. Your knees part more to allow his hand to move more freely, legs shaking slightly as you stand on your toes. 

“Cumming Kook.” Eyebrows scrunching together, the pool that’s been hot in your stomach finally overflows, your poor cunt aching as you cum. Jungkook does his best to ride you through it for as long as possible, milking it for all it’s worth. “Too much, hurts.” You whimper against Jungkook’s neck, softly grabbing his wrist.

“I love you. I fucking love you so much.” Jungkook removes his hand as quickly as he shoved it in your panties, pulling you close as he kisses you. 

“Oh my god! Get in the tub, we’re going to be fucking in my bathroom if we keep this up.” You giggle, softly pushing him toward the already-filled tub. 

“Fine, even though that seems like a fun time too,” Jungkook complains, climbing in. His eyes never leave your frame as you take off your panties, dropping them in the laundry before slipping in behind him. “Hot.”

“Kook, shhhhhhhh.” The both of you laugh, Jungkook moving to rest against your torso. Placing a hand on his forehead, you softly pull his head back to rest it on your shoulder. “I love you too, Jungkook. Always have.” You kiss his cheek softly, hands coming to hold his head gently as you do. Jungkook pretends to hate it, jokingly pulling away from your lips as you kiss him multiple times. You’re sure he’s blushing, but he ferociously avoids looking at you as you try to see his cheeks better to tease. 

He’s 100% blushing as he sits up away from you, you're sure of it. He offers a “nuh uh” before you're slapping a hand across his eyes, yanking him down once more. It makes the both of you laugh loudly, water sloshing against the tub walls. Finally, he gives in. “Fine, whatever. Love you too.”

“Love you more, wobbly legs.”

If you have any comments, feedback, etc, please let me know in the tags or comments! I always love to hear from readers and listen to your thoughts! Thank you for reading. 

Love, G <3

[thebadboyfanclub]

Fire and Flame Pt. 5 (Massimo x Reader)

Look my guy I got inspired by the song Trust issues the weeknd remix and shameless Camilla Cabello, this might need multiple parts but I have seen you guys ask for it and I think it’s time for me to serve and for you guys to eat… also I would like to say thank you to @severewobblerlightdragon I have noticed them liking my stuff and almost always lives a comment I really appreciate it.

Part 4

The way (y/n) took over Massimos house resembled to a tiger being released from its cage, authority suited her as she strolled around with her chin high and her eyes making grown men shiver and scurry away after mumbling “yes, miss”.

Massimo observed her with his lips in a thin line and his hands curling to a fist, however he knew that any type of reaction would cost him an unbearable amount of power, her family was the only one that came to his aid, the only source of support and protection if he moved even in the slightest way that displeased (y/n) he would be left with nothing.

“A charity ball?!”

“A way to celebrate your success and show to everyone you are left unbothered and unharmed, a gracious move to invite every important person from our cycle and reconcile while standing tall despite the attempted assassinations”

“If you want to wear a fancy dress do it somewhere else, I thought we were supposed to protect this house not let everyone in”

“We accept people that have been exclusively invited by Ass, people who matter, your reputation is at stake, the great massimo has the tail between his legs and is hiding behind his stone walls”

“I am not hiding”

“It doesn’t fucking matter what you have been doing, that is what they are saying, the charity ball is happening like it or not, the invites have already been send out, but your… wife a dress and you better mingle with your guests, like a good and generous host. Got it?”

Massimo identified the assertive tone in (y/n)s and gaze that could burn his entire house down, he could also see his advisor Mario nod at him behind her back, a way to stir Massimo to not push (y/n) further.

“Fine, make your preparations. I am sure if you try hard enough the ball will be decent”

“It will be better than the fiasco Laura had caused, she danced on a pole while somebody called her a whore right?”

Massimos hand slammed on his wooden desk while his other hand instinctively his right hand reached for his gun and pointed it right at her chest. The scary part wasn’t that (y/n) was held at gun point, nor the expression of fury in Massimos handsome face, it was the devilish grin that decorated (y/n)s lips, unfazed by the situation completely.

“Amateur, if you really want to kill me, you aim at the head”

She instructed while her fingers wrapped around the gun and let it touch the skin on her forehead. Massimo was a man that was never afraid to use his weapons, still the way that she did not even blink, better yet she teased him about it left him speechless.

“Massimo put the gun down”

“No, let him, what are you waiting for? Just so you know if I die you will have a bigger problem than a dead body, but an entire empire running after you and my brother wanting your head served in a silver platter”

“You think I am scared of your stupid brother?”

“No, no you are not, you are however scared of me. Even if you plant a bullet between my eyebrows you will never, ever get rid of me”

-

As always (y/n) had gotten her way and the charity ball was buzzing with people, the band she had hired played wonderful music, the staff kept the glasses of champagne full and the platters of small little delicacies going.

Massimo had his hand on Laura’s waist as they went to greet the guests, a United couple that scoffed at the missed jabs of their enemies, at least that’s what they portrayed.

The music came to a halt as a slight sound of the champagne glass summoned every guests attention. As Massimo looked up at the start of his stairs he was met with (y/n) smiling brightly with a glass in her hand, “she finally showed up” he thought

“Our dear guests, I apologise for interrupting any conversations but we have all night for chatter, me and my family would like to thank our dear friends Massimo and his family that were so kind to extend their hospitality to us, I would like to take this moment to raise my glass. To you and your wives success, both of them beautiful, kind and strong despite all. Cheers to the perfect couple”

Everyone clapped and took a sip, to anyone that did not know any better this was such a gracious gesture, a declare of loyalty and a announcement of the two families being allies, to Massimo this was a hit below the belt, to sarcastically smile and praise his wife after everything that has taken place.

Regardless of it all he took a slight sip as his grip to Laura tightened, he wanted to kill her, grab (y/n) by her pretty neck and snap it like a twig, his eyes followed her figure when she went down the stairs.

God was she bewitching, a sight for sore eyes in her dress, the most infuriating part about (y/n) is that he always left him in shambles, to kill her or to fuck her? That is the question

“(Y/n), I have to say that speech was very kind of you”

“What can I say I have a soft spot for love, we started off on the wrong foot Laura, that does not mean we should continue that way”

She was lying, Massimo knew that much and what was worst is that Laura was buying it, his wife believed that (y/n) was genuine and did not just plan an evil scheme to ridicule him further. (Y/n) reached for Laura’s hand to give it a slight squeeze of comfort.

“I am delighted you chose to wear the dress I send for you”

“It was the best out of all how could I not?”

“And you look good in it too, I will catch up with you two later, I must say hello to someone”

(Y/n) was over the moon, just the look on Massimos face made it all worth it, his hands were completely tied and there was nothing she could accuse her of, hell she had even mend her relationship with Laura and now all eyes were on Massimo.

(Y/n) approached the person she was interested in, the only man that made it look good while being completely out of place.

“So you must be… nacho? Right?”

“Yes, and you are miss (y/l/n)”

“Precisely, although I must say nacho does not suit you”

“It is only a nickname”

“I can definitely think of others that would be better”

“Is that so?”

His eyebrow raised at the sneaky way of the woman that weasels her way in his reader, he had seen her walk around the garden, a striking presence could not be missed by any man and she had been captured by his baby blue eyes, the man was sculpted by the Gods and she just so happened to be in need of a hobby. (Y/n) bit her lip as she swiftly nodded at him, the look of a helpless innocent doe that she held worked its magic on him as his pearly whites appeared at a grin.

“I’ve heard wonderful things about your work, people say you are… good with your hands”

“Such flattering words miss (y/l/n)”

“Would you like to show me your… works?”

“Whatever miss (y/l/n) wants she gets right?”

“Lead the way then and please call me (y/n)”

Her voice barely above a whisper as she said her name. Nacho only left his glass on a stand before he let his hand touch her waist and escorted her out of the mansion, what the man had not noticed is that as they went in the garden and away of the eyes of strangers Massimo had silently followed them, curious to see what was happening, who was he? Why was (y/n) walking away with him? He could barely hear what they were saying until they reached a more secluded part and stopped, (y/n) rested her back on a wall as she held her glass of champagne.

“Have you always been interested in gardening?”

“No, I like trying new things”

“That sounds promising”

“I must admit I had my eye on you”

“I noticed”

“You are a very interesting woman”

“I know, I must say you have a lot if potential… if you are up for it”

Massimos blood boil at the sight of (y/n) so sexually flirting with a man, she had never been like that with him, why would this low life get to have her while he could not even get a bite? Nacho placed his hands at either side of (y/n)s face supporting himself on the stone wall, she looked mesmerising under the moonlight, her chest rose as she took in a deep breath.

“I have never been afraid to get my hands dirty”

“Kneel”

She command him, Nacho took the champagne glass from her hand and took a sip before he leaned to connect his lips with hers, at the slight part of her lips he was able to pass a small amount of the champagne in her mouth making the kiss even more thrilling.

He pulled away from her to do as he was told, his one hand went underneath her dress to caress her leg from her ankle and up bringing goosebumps along her spine.

“Obedience becomes you”

“And we have only just began”

Nacho had kept the glass only to take a big sip of what was left of it and throw it away, quickly he lifted her dress and allowed the liquid to ran down the part that ached the most, the cooling sensation made her hiss before pleasure took over.

Massimo stood dumbfounded as he watched from the bushes his (y/n) have such an intimate moment with someone beneath her, he could imagine how good it would feel if he sliced his throat right at her feet, or maybe he should fuck her right there and make him watch. In reality, he froze at his spot as (y/n) let a few audible moans slip past her lips, he should leave, spare himself the fury of being a bystander.

(Y/n) could feel the thrill of nachos skill take over her, not only was the man between her legs skilled, she was also aware of who it was that had followed them, just the image of Massimo being helpless and view her become undone with another was enough to send her over the edge. To have a gorgeous man please you while risking exposure also while getting on your first loves nerves was the biggest aphrodisiac. Once she felt herself slowly shimmer down she guided her hand on nachos chin and ran her thumb over his swollen lips before planting a peck on them.

“You are so… good, now go”

[coimbrabertone]

I Guess We Gotta Talk About Andretti...

So, I've been rather negative when it comes to modern F1 on this blog, and unfortunately, we gotta go there again this week.

So, this week, at Indycar's Long Beach Grand Prix - which turned into a pretty good race at the end - Mario Andretti was interviewed when it comes to his son, Michael's, bid to bring Andretti to Formula One as an eleventh team.

Mario, the 1978 Formula One World Champion, said that he's offended and finds it ridiculous that F1 has rejected the application, that Andretti has worked hard to create a deal with GM, has promised to support drivers in F2 and F3, and that value is added to Formula One by having an eleventh team. Basically, Andretti has met every hurdle that FOM has put ahead of them, and what have the FOM and the teams done in turn?

The teams are trying to get a ten-team limit put into the new Concorde Agreement.

Do I think that Andretti would instantly fix all my problems with modern F1? No.

Do I think F1 would be more interesting with another team? Yes.

Why? Because first of all, so many drivers have been stuck on the outside because there's too few seats in F1. Felipe Drugovich is doing fuck all this season because he couldn't get an F1 drive as a runaway F2 champion. Theo Pourchaire, the next F2 champion, is about to do his second Indycar race this weekend with Arrow McLaren. Mick Schumacher, Callum Ilott, and Robert Shwartzman are all in sports cars after super promising F3 and F2 careers. Marcus Armstrong is in Indycar, Louis Deletraz in IMSA, etc, etc.

Even Oscar Piastri, who has one of the most successful junior careers of recent memory, had to take a year off and ended up debuting with McLaren instead of Alpine.

All of these guys who could have F1 seats are instead doing amazing things in other series. Meanwhile, Lance Stroll has an Aston seat because his dad owns the team, Yuki Tsunoda has an Alpha Tauri seat because Honda wants a Japanese driver, and Daniel Ricciardo is his teammate for reasons that even Red Bull seems puzzled about at this point.

Adding two seats in F1 could improve that situation.

At least one of those seats would likely go to an American, and maybe Logan Sargeant has soured some people's tastes towards that, but hey, if you're going to have three races in the US, you're gonna need American talent to help support that interest.

Haas sure as hell isn't doing a good job of being an American team. Hell, Haas isn't doing a good job of much of anything. They have no ambition, they have two safe, boring, older drivers who will score a few points every once in awhile and let the team collect its prize money check at the end of the season. There's nothing exciting about that, Haas isn't going to have some young charger to breathe life into the back of the grid, Haas isn't going to master the 2026 regulations and give some amazing Brawn storyline, they don't even make their own cars - they have Dallara do it.

Andretti is going to have more ambition than that, I can guarantee that if nothing else. Andretti has three full time cars in Indycar, a bunch of cars in Indy Lights, two cars in IMSA in association with Wayne Taylor Racing, and is potentially laying the groundwork for a move into NASCAR as well.

Marco Andretti is in Trucks while Gainbridge, a major investor in Andretti, has been popping up on the Spire cars, along with rumors that Gainbridge and Andretti wanting to buy into the team.

All of this along with a share in an Australian Supercars team, a Formula E team, and Extreme E. They're a global team that isn't afraid to spend money. They're trying to win championships in series across the world.

F1 doesn't think all of that is good enough.

Why? Because that would mean the teams have to split money eleven ways instead of ten. That's it. That's the entire reason.

Paddock space? Space for twenty-six cars is written into the rules.

Value added? Look at all that stuff above, Andretti isn't coming to F1 to fuck around, and even if it was, half the grid is doing the same thing.

It's all about the money.

As much as I fully believe Andretti is overqualified for F1, I almost want them to say fuck it and abandon F1, put the money into the rest of your series. Marcus Ericsson, Kyle Kirkwood, and Colton Herta are competitive each and every week in an Indycar series where being a few tenths off could put you at the back of the field. The #10 and #40 WTR Andretti cars in IMSA are major championship threats. Plus, if Andretti can get that Spire deal and get into NASCAR, that's a sport that's experiencing its own resurgence in popularity.

I know NASCAR is very much focused in the US but having 4.3 million viewers for Talladega this last weekend is four times the ratings that F1 pulls, and everyone's talking about how big F1 is becoming in the US. F1 is getting all these American sponsors and American races, but whenever it comes to letting more Americans into the sport, there's always this hostility.

Motorsports is more than just F1, and the more F1 turns up its nose at the rest of motorsports, the more it alienates fans like me.

Which is a damn shame, because F1 was my first love in motorsports.

[oh-hell-help-me]

Day 15: Doomsday

What happened next was, as Bowser would put it, a big clusterfuck.

Luigi never expected to see a Paper Person again -never mind a psychopath whose fashion sense should have stayed in the 16th Century.

Ironically, that was the least of his worries when the whole world literally flipped on its axis.

“LU-!“

His stomach turned when he realized that was BOWSER, and he wants to reassure him, but-

He’s alone now.

Except-

“Now then.”

That figlio di puttana-!

“Let’s get this show started!”

Mario hadn’t expected to see the Paper version of himself again, or even Paper Peach and Bowser.

He just wishes it was under better circumstances…

“Dimentio?”

Paper Peach nods, “He’s a magician we’ve met before. We thought we’d ended his game, but…”

“The idiot seems to think HE could just waltz in and 'destroy all worlds'!” Paper Bowser seems to be angrier than usual, and it gives Mario near whiplash whenever he thinks about his calmer (nowadays, anyway), fleshy counterpart. “So we're here to finish the job!”

“But why is he here?”

Mario feels something in his stomach sink when they all share a look.

“...We think he's trying to get your Luigi.”

And just like that, Mario felt like the world was ending.

"Why?!"

"I would like to hear the answer as well."

It's a near miss when Mario lashes out, feeling too overwhelmed- where's Luigi, he needs to get to Luigi- but not enough to not recognize the familiar sight of Kamek.

To his credit, the Magikoopa barely flinches as he floats on his broom.

“Kamek?!” At least everyone else was just as surprised.

"You weren't at the throne room, but I figured I could follow the sound of your shouting." His gaze seemed to sharpen, even if his eyes were hidden by his glasses. "Why is he here? And if so-"

Wait, why is he here-

"Are his abilities great enough to overpower transportation wards?"

Mario felt sick- surely he misunderstands--

The tense atmosphere says otherwise.

oH fu- "Can you take us to the castle?!"

He barely registers the confusion and surprise of the Paper versions before there was a poof-

And find themselves in the midst of mayhem.

Bowser wasn't thinking straight, but screw anyone who faults him for it!

He didn't register the newcomers as anything other than possible threats, and Mario and Peach were pushing it as they approached HIS NEST AND KIDS-

And then a wave of calm washed over him, a blue haze rolling over his scales with familiarity-

Kamek.

The world is less overwhelming, but the 'talk' that came after threatened to have his temper override the magic.

It felt like the world was ending for Bowser. Hell, their world's doomsday is technically on a countdown, if Paper Peach was to be believed.

Dimentio… a stupid, regretful name if you ask him.

And the fact that this guy kidnapped Luigi?

That the shitty jester plans to use him- have Luigi kill millions against his will? The same Luigi who Bowser watched as he cried over a smushed butterfly?

That Luigi might be somewhere alone, scared, maybe even hurt? Especially after...?

That Luigi's scared face might be the last thing he sees-?

When he finds the damned smiley fuck-

T H E R E W O N ' T B E A N Y T H I N G L E F T T O R E G R E T.

Luigi couldn’t remember- what did he do whatdidhedo-

The- jester- Dimentio- he had this heart- it won't stop beating stopbeatingSTOPBEATING-

It hurts to think about how he BrOkE hIm is breakinghim- he can't concentrate with that DaNnAtO lAuGhTeR- hAhaHaha-

GeT OUTGETOUTGET-

"It seems you are a bit more... resilient in this dimension." He hates-DESPISES that sMiLe- "Here, let me help you~."

And then, it went dark.

And Luigi couldn't help but be glad.

[scaredycatqlt]

Ben drown x reader platonic?

Omg YES!!! This lonely guy needs some friends dudeeed 💀

Ben Drowned X Reader [PLATONIC]

So, for starters, you guys either met online during a game, or you got the cursed Majora’s Mask Game, OR you’re another pasta.

Regardless, Ben probably befriended you relatively quickly. If you can put up with him…

He is widely considered a nuisance by everyone else in the mansion, and for good reason too. Imagine trying to sleep and all you can hear is him blasting some shitty video game music.

Anyway, gaming together is an obvious must.

trolling kids on roblox? You betcha.

hes gonna kick your fucking ASS in Mario kart.

Tired of the HC that he’ll go easy on you. He’s a total asshole, ain’t no way he’s gonna let you win.

OMG I just love the thought of you two getting up to stupid pranks and mischieffff <3

Pranking Jeff, and then having your life threatened afterwards is one of your guys’s favorite activities.

Ben totally randomly comes out of your devices whenever he feels like it.

I personally think he wouldn’t go through your stuff. Atleast not very often at all. Not bc he respects your privacy, just because it’s boring to him.

He may be a total asshole but he does care for you. He’s not good at emotional support…at all…

But he’s quick to offer up distractions if you’re ever feeling down.

He never will admit this but he’s genuinely happy that you’re his friend. He thinks you’re too good for him, even though he acts like he’s the coolest.

PLAYFUL BANTER AND INSULTS‼️‼️

You guys are kinda like siblings lol. Play fighting and insulting eachother all the time

HDHDBFNCNDJD CHAOTIC DUO!!)..)

I just imagine him popping out of ur laptop one day like “heyyyyy ;)” and then you just push him back in 😭

Drinking monster and playing games until 3 in the morning is something that happens often.

Idc if you’re super mature, being around Ben is bound to rub off on you. You are going to start laughing at ‘your mama’ jokes whether you like it or not.

He gives you guys cheats on video games lol.

If you’re human he loves showing off all the cool shit he can do, especially if you thought it wasn’t real before.

If you’re another type of entity, he still shows off to you but he tries harder.

He’s pretty unhygienic, mainly cus he’s a ghost but also cus he’s just lazy. Make sure he cleans his room up a little bit at least every once in a while.

And there you have it, the Creepypasta Mansion’s CHAOS DUO!!

I really loved this idea :D sorry btw cus my version of Ben is a stinky loser gamer 😔/aff

[spoken-outofturn]

the nickname

[789 words]

Kirishima didn’t mean to let the nickname slip. He really didn’t.

It was a slip of the tongue. Yes, he often referred to his best bro in his own mind as such, but he didn’t mean to say it out loud.

Kirishima had barged into Bakugo’s room earlier that evening for their weekly hangout. Since first year, the two boys had slowly become attached at the hip, and now in their third year they had developed an unspoken rule that Sunday nights were Bakubro and Kiri hangout nights (or, at least that's how Kirishima referred to them). They settled on playing a mean game of Mario Kart tonight, both boys' competitive sides on full display. Normally, Bakugo was the one bringing home the first place title. Kirishima, of course always trying to win, didn’t mind when Bakugo won–he was just so cute with an arrogant fire in his eyes and that feral smirk on his lips.

Kirishima had been sitting on the floor with his long legs outstretched towards the TV (he had grown to be significantly taller than his best friend, much to Bakugo’s dismay) leaning against the bed. Bakugo himself was on the bed above Kirishima, slowly inching towards the edge of the bed in his cross-legged position as he got more and more invested in the game.

It was the fourth and final track of the circuit and Bakugo was up two wins to Kirishima’s one, looking like Bakugo was going to secure his reign for a fifth week in a row. Except… Bakugo was having a lot of issues with the CPUs this round. It was honestly really funny to watch him rage at the game, and Bakugo was doing well enough that Kirishima was still expecting him to win.

“There is no fucking way, I was just hit with a green shell! There is no way that was the full cool down time! Stop laughing, shitty hair, you know that was absolute bull!”

Kirishima could not stop laughing at his best friend’s reaction to his perceived injustice. They were both nearing the end, with them and all of the CPUs neck and neck. Somehow, Kirishima was able to pull ahead into first place, and right before Bakugo was about to cross the finish line for second place he was hit with another red shell.

“Are you fucking serious?! There is no way, I was totally about to cross the finish line! Fourth?? I got fourth place?!? You did not deserve this win, idiot.”

Kirishima threw his head back in his laughter, eyes watering and abs hurting. He heard Bakugo growl above him and felt him shift–wait, since when were they close enough…?

Opening his eyes, Kirishima realized he’d essentially thrown his head back straight into Bakugo’s lap. Fire red eyes met the darker burgundy of the ones above him. There were traces of a scowl on his face, no doubt from the loss, but Kirishima was met with mostly surprise from his best friend above him.

The blinds were open, letting the golden rays of sunset stream through the window. Kirishima had never thought much about the positioning of the dorms, but in that moment he was thanking every deity he could list that they were facing west. The light reflected beautifully off the blonde locks hanging over Bakugo’s face as it tilted towards him. The rays filtering through his luminated hair refracted through the reds of his eyes. Bakugo naturally ran warm, a side effect of his quirk which could be felt by the boy in his lap. His strong calf and quad muscles had tensed when a head first landed in his lap, but, and to Kirishima’s surprise, they were relaxing into the comforting weight.

There was little Kirishima could do other than stare up at the beautiful sight above him.

“...’Tsuki…”

“...Huh?”

He hadn’t realized anything had come out of his mouth until the boy above him twisted his face in confusion and replied. Kirishima flushed, immediately trying to backpedal. “Oh! Sorry, sorry, I’ll…” He moved to lean his head upright and shift away, not wanting to make his best friend uncomfortable.

He couldn’t, though. Not with a hand in his hair.

Steeling himself (ready to harden himself for an explosive reaction, literally) he looked back up into the eyes of the boy he more than likely had just crossed a line with. When he met the other’s eyes, however, he was shocked to find a hint of a smile on Bakugo’s face and… was that a blush?

“The moon to your sun, huh? I–I like it.”

He felt his face split open into the widest smile Kirishima could possibly handle, reaching his hand up to join the one holding his hair gently.

“Alright then, ‘Tsuki.”

[goodluckclove]

hi cloveeee congrats on getting blind trust ready to go !! i'm so excited for it to launch i've been babbling about it to my friends. the general consensus is " DAYM 800 PAGES ??" so good good work, my friend

also i'm almost done with a WIP for once ! it's a short fanfic oneshot i wrote featuring my friend and i's self-inserts in the band Ghost's lore. i'm really happy, and really tired. my knee is being weird and my scoli is flaring but i'm having fun writing and it's feeling fulfilling for once. the fic is about chronic pain after all so it works out in a funny way. if you're still open to reading others' writing i can send you the secondish draft in a couple days if you want, though i know you're very very busy doing cool Indie Publishing stuff

anyways i just wanted to share a pretty big writing win for me! hope you are doing well :)

it's like 1:18am. riley had to drag me out of the pit of artistic ennui with pizza and mario odyssey, and now i'm waiting for my meds to kick in while they get a head start on snoozing in the other room. it's a cold night in portland. i'm cold, at least. looking forward to curl up in bed with a good blankie. tomorrow some friends are coming over and we're going to keep rewatching the old deathnote anime. i'm a bit L stan.

i'm so fucking impressed that you're closing up a proejct! i remember when we first met you told me that you weren't writing at all because of your chronic pain, and it tore me up for like two days that i couldn't think of a solution for that. sometimes people hurt. i hurt, and i just do it anyway, but that's terrible advice and i'm not about to push that on a younger writer. fuck no.

but yeah, the fact that you've managed to solution-ate a way into a full-on project? that's amazing. it's breathtaking. it's so fucking comforting, getting this ask seriously made my day. i'm so totally proud and floored and inspired by your determination and resilience. i hope you take some time to rest - but at the the same time i really, really hope you feel good about yourself for doing this.

you have a fantastic narrative voice and we as a collective are only the better for having access to it. please, keep pushing forward in a way that is safe for your mind and body. i really do think it's worth it.

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: 4th of July

The Great Shift a lot of countries differently. However, nothing could dampen the experience of Americans celebrating their Independence Day! Whether they are born and raised in the USA or a first generation trying their hand at the land of the free, the American spirit persist even in the strangest of scenarios.

Mario (Long Island, New York)

I can’t fucking believe it! All my life I’d dreamed of stepping up to the plate and playing ball! My old man said I was too much of a fat ass to do much more than work for the family when I got older. Something about having more cannolis than brains! But look who is laughing now! I guess I should start over. My names Mario Anatolli. Born in Long Island just off the coast of New York for you out of towners, 19 years ago. My family has been here for a long time, and sorta got into organized crime real early. Most guys in my family end up working for some shithead or dead, but not me. I had bigger dreams. Traveling places, meeting people, and most of all baseball! I memorized player stats, trivia, and dreamed of playing in Yankee Stadium one day. Then out of no where the Great Shift happened.

I ended up swapping bodies with this guy out in Miami during Spring Training! He was on the Miami Dolphins or I guess I am now. Turns out a bunch of nobodies who don’t know how to play baseball kind of ruin a team. Except me! I was the most knowledgeable guy on the team with one hell of a body! I’m about 5 inches taller with abs now! Not to mention handsome as hell! I’ve got guys and girls lining up for my autograph and my number! I’ll be doing a homecoming to Yankee Stadium soon, hopefully have time to catch up with the folks! I hear dad’s now in some accountants body being bullied by mom who is this handsome bouncer now. Times sure are changing! Hope they’re proud of the man their boy became!

Do-yun (Los Angeles, California)

I have to admit. I wasn’t used to swimming before the Great Shift and now I can’t get enough of it. As a first generation Korean immigrant to the states, I have to say it was hard settling down into such a new environment. Not a lot of places to go where people looked like me, bits of open discrimination because of my basic behavior, and even outward hostility at times. But I made the best of what I could. I even founded a Korean American community center that helped teach people English! That’s where I met my wife and we were lucky to have two beautiful boys. My wife works as a nurse at the nearby hospital and my youngest just graduated high school about to attend Stanford! While my oldest was studying art abroad in Paris!

Then the great shift happened. Going from a father in his 40s to a 22 year old fitness influencer was another huge adjustment to say the least. Only this time all the changes were a lot easier this time around. People wanted my attention a lot more for pictures and asked if I could be in their Tik Toks. I’ve always been good at adapting so now I’m embracing my new social media life! My sons have shifted to guys closer to my own age and so has my wife! To our surprise we ended up in Los Angeles, where we are now living in what  a lot of people are calling an Influencer House. I’m still picking up on the lingo for this younger generation. We’ve got a more interesting family dynamic for sure, but our family will learn to live with these changes and come out stronger together! Not to mention my wife is a lot more... active in her new male fitness vlogger form. I love this country. 

Dakota - Cedar Rapids, Iowa

It’s so wild being this tall! I’ve always been a bit small, growing up in the less developed and more rural areas around Iowa. My family like to move around a lot as my dad worked some odd jobs here and there between some seasonal labor stuff, but he always managed to put food on the table. We come from a mixed background! My dad is Caucasian and Black, while my mom is part Native American and Mexican! My brothers and sisters all kinda look different with me as the youngest, being the smallest. I guess that’s what inspired me to work the way I did. Tried to make my way through college studying agriculture and managed to buy a small farm that I used to grow up near. I was really starting to make some good progress when the Great Shift happened.

I found myself in such a huge body! I’m 6′9 now! Apparently this Austrian bodybuilder is pretty big online, no pun intended! My new name was Ike and I couldn’t help but admire my massive frame as soon as I realized I wasn’t dreaming. Everything from my long strong arms to my powerful sturdy legs were just so enticing! Even my huge size 17 feet were just the absolute best! Anyway I digress. Turns out modeling, acting, and sponsorships are a good way to fund a farm and pay off your student debts! So I’ve been running multiple small gigs trying to capitalize off my good looks to save up for a good cause!

Luke - Ann Arbor, Michigan

I was an older soul, pulled out of retirement during The Great Shift. Former Army Medic, who thought his best days were behind me when the world began to spin and I found myself in this handsome young man. To go from an ailing man in your 70s to a fit male model of a man in his 30s is such a rush. Many thing don’t work like you expect them to at my age and now everything about my body felt... sensitive. Not to mention becoming a whole nother race is an experience in itself.

Unfortunately I didn’t have time to confront my personal surprise or shock. I realized I had been taken to a hospital in the midst of a world wide body swap. Countless people were coming in for days with injuries and illnesses that I hadn’t been trained on in years. But I did what I could. There was a severe lack of medical professionals in the area and I was people’s best bet at survival! I managed to reset dislocated shoulders, put broken arms in casts, and learned to do invasive surgery in a few days!

My most important job though was telling people about their new medical history and keeping them informed. A surprising amount of men in men’s body knew very little about healthcare outside of their immediate body. Teaching people about their new allergies, physical limitations, and even some who now could get pregnant or required abortions, all of it was a learning experience for me as much as them sometimes. I’m happy to be in good health right now and I’m lucky to be able to share what I know with the people who need it. I hope everyone has a safe Independence Day today! Cherish the body you’re in and use it well!

[drawbauchery]

mayro and loogi movie 2023 let’s-a arrive

MOTHERFUCKIN UUHHHHH

MARIO BROS MOVIE THOUGHTS

it’s long, i talk about luigi a lot. and there are spoilers 

THE NOT GREAT STUFF

not enough luigi

where was luigi in the whole like second act where WAS he

idk missed opportunity for some development while he was captured. he could’ve interacted more with the other prisoners. or kamek & bowser. i feel like kamek taunting him about how bowser’s gonna kill the hell out of mario or something would’ve raised the emotional stakes a bit, like instead of sitting there waiting to be rescued luigi could be wanting to rescue mario himself 

he kinda just didn’t have any lines after getting captured, too....gimme something, movie.......he talked back to spike so easily, a little bit of defiance at some point would’ve been neat ;-; 

i saw one brilliant take that was like, bowser should’ve kept luigi around and “consulted” him about who mario is, and they’d both get just the teensiest more development that way, with both airing out their own insecurities. bowser thinking (knowing) he’s not good enough for peach and luigi wanting to be more like the brother he’s always counting on

luigi making clear he wants to be brave for once->more impact when he shields mario at the end

i was hoping for a prison break i’m gonna be real

and don’t get me wrong i LOVE kidnapping stories but i HATE it when the kidnapped isn’t allowed to do anything. wish they’d given luigi more flexibility to at least TRY something instead of essentially throwing him aside, y’know?

idk man just more luigi. 

also, pacing not good. pacing iffy. maybe bad

coming off the heels of the perfect pacing and flawless balancing of an ensemble that was puss in boots, i think moving some stuff around could’ve made room for my boy. they coulda done it.

specifically, the pacing was WAY too fast. i love when movies let emotions really sink in. luigi’s little flashback scene was really nice, more stuff like that pls

did peach ever even tell mario her name i forgot

NOT the bowser musical number i DREAMT of. hilarious af but i wanted A SONG. A BANGER. A 90′s DISNEY VILLAIN BOP

not a fan of the played out peach/bowser forced marriage stuff but it’s mario what are you gonna do

no luigi power-ups what’s up with that

the freaking illumination dog design threw me off so badly i was almost brought out of the mario immersion. i was thinking nothing could be bad enough to make me not excited to be sitting in that theater and then the fucking dog showed up. straight out of secret life of pets. it also should’ve been a scarier big dog. (his nod of approval at the end was good though 100/10)

and look mario’s a cutie pie, a sweetheart, wanna squish his lil cheeks, i loved him being ABSOLUTELY terrified of bowser when they met because who the fuck wouldn’t be, but in the end luigi is still so much more interesting to me 8′D

NO BOWSER JR. CAMEO?????

why the FUCK didn’t bowser and luigi kiss

THE GREAT STUFF

luigi

luigi’s voice

luigi’s pathetic little meeps and yelps and being so squishable

luigi & mario

mario & luigi

THEY WERE SO GODDAMN SWEET AND CUTE AND GOOD

mario tearing through the alleys like a beast and just. instinctively opening gates and leaving pathways for luigi. not in a “hurry up and pull your weight” kind of way, but like. a doting, considerate way that showed he just wanted to make things easier for his brother. i was crying screaming they were just so soft

i did NOT expect to see their family. that’s the kind of grounding, humanizing scene i was hoping for

luigi trying to eat. let him eat

mario playing kid icarus. he’s besties with pit in subspace. pit/mario friendship real

the luma

luigi doing a mic drop with his phone and just going O-O when it breaks

all the poses. all the music cues. all the mario kart. i’m a relatively new fan of mario ok i didn’t grow up with any of the games besides luigi’s mansion--

KING BOO CAMEO BTW AAAAYYYY

--but even i was squealing at all the references. like, all the moves from the games are there. down to the way mario and luigi run. and all the power-ups, and the enemies, it’s ALL THERE

but especially that mario kart scene, that’s one game i play religiously so the part where they’re choosing what their karts look like TICKLED me gdfksld

DIDDY KONG DIDDY KONG DIDDY KONG

yo were mario and donkey kong kinda.....were they like.....*flips hand* y’know.....?

action scenes were all stellar. had no right to go that hard. 

blue shell being a relentless, vicious force of evil

peach power-ups

peach’s wedding dress

peach in general 

toad and his kart of choice

“lu”

“you can’t be scared all the time, luigi” “you’d be surprised”

“my dad thinks i’m a joke too” “well your dad is RIGHT”

a lot of people don’t want mario and peach to ever end up together, and as a rabid hater of zelda/link i COMPLETELY understand and could not be more sympathetic. but i do ship mario and peach so i personally really liked their little flirty moments 

luigi bringin mario some spaghetti 

nice little snippets of characters like bowser and dk having underlying problems. leaves lot open for sequels n spinoffs.........i’m sure that totally wasn’t their intention...........

me: “if mario doesn’t grab bowser by the tail, twirl him around and throw him, then i don’t wanna know about it”

movie: *has mario and luigi do this TOGETHER*

me: “a    h”

bringing the fight to brooklyn had me so excited and i don’t even know why

THE 80′S SONGS HELLO???

bowser’s castle looking like a rave like in the og games

nervous bowser

the 4 hour long sex scene between luigi and bowser was so tastefully done, i was impressed and moved 

memory bad but i WILL probably add MORE

[matchstickdolly]

So long, farewell! 💜 I won't be posting from this account anymore. To close it out, here is a roundup of my Lucifer fan works, as I think that's how most came to find me here.

You will need an AO3 account to read most of my stories; it's relatively easy to sign up if you don't have one. Though I'm gone from here and elsewhere in the Lucifer fandom, I will continue to read comments and attempt to reply to them, so please consider sharing these fics and commenting your thoughts on AO3!

LONG READS (20,000+ words)

A Refraction of Light

314k words. My giant post-S3 canon divergence that spans Earth, Hell, and Heaven. If you didn't like Lucifer's Netflix era (the last three seasons) or wished there were more power couple vibes for Deckerstar, you might enjoy AROL. Though I finished it in 2020, after S4 had aired, I think it works quite well as a S4-S6 fix-it for those who'd like one.

In Sorrow Thou Shalt Bring Forth Children

210k words. The 50 female-focused "blip" years Lucifer's finale conveniently left out, also several post-S6 chapters. Heavy angst surrounding family and spiritual trauma but aims to be cathartic by acknowledging pain. All that said, more humor and Deckerstar than you'd probably expect, given the CW tags.

Reins Series: Try My Reins and My Heart & As Certain Dark Things Are to Be Loved

35k words when read together. Porn with feelings/plot. Fun, sweet kinkiness that should be read in order. Dominant!Lucifer because I struggle to see the Devil otherwise and because Chloe deserves a fucking break in the care of her sex god beau.

In a Similar Vein

21k words. Funny, sweet, and absurd S1 divergence wherein Chloe becomes (very wrongly) convinced that Lucifer is a vampire. Alas, it is missing the last chapter.

Chloe KNOWS

20k words. Funny, sweet, sexy S2 divergence in which Chloe accidentally gets a devil reveal when she stumbles upon an ageless Lucifer in vintage pornography. Oops.

MEDIUM READS (5,000 to 20,000 words)

If the Shoe Fits & In the Family Way

14k words when read together. Alternate post-5B/S6. Feel-good, funny, fluffy, even sexy. Godifer and Mrs. G being good partners, parents, and Improvers of the Universe. If you need a sweet, positive fix-it for the end of Lucifer, these fics might fit the bill.

Rebound to You

12k words. Feel-good, funny, sexy AU where Lucifer is still the Devil, but he and Chloe didn't meet as in canon. Instead, they meet a couple of years later, after Lucifer has naturally gotten a phone and Chloe has divorced Dan and is now resorting to dating apps to meet people. Features a fun gimmick of Tinder-like chat logs (used sparingly, I promise).

Something More & Pump It Up

11k words when read together. These two canon compliant fics won't seem like they go together at first, but I promise they do (thematically). Both are pre-canon and about the subtle ways in which Lucifer and Chloe are an amusingly great match. They just haven't met (yet) to know it! The first story is sweet and about Jed and Chloe's relationship; basically a character study of Chloe as told from Jed's POV. The second is a bit of a sex farce about Lucifer watching Hot Tub High School after settling in L.A., but it's also porn with plot or at least a character study.

Not to Mii

10k words. Lucifer sticks around at the end of S3's "The Last Heartbreak." One thing leads to another, and you get strip Mario Kart. I promise it works.

The Fine Line Between Desire and Fear

10k words. Feel-good and silly post-5A divergence featuring a haunted mansion on Halloween. Almost solely Deckerstar-focused but also imagines a future where Michael is trying to redeem himself and earn Ella's affection; the only problem is that he's afraid...of a lot, actually. The irony!

Sweet and Sour

10k words. A comical Michael/Ella fic based on the 5A trailer. Turned out to be rather in-character for many aspects of Michael, so it holds up, I think.

Now That's What I Call Big Devil Energy! Series: Big Devil Energy & Satan's Got a Heart On

9k words when read together. Funny, sweet chaos. Lucifer being a completely over-the-top Devil in love.

All You Can Play

9k words but really more like 3k if you want the finished part of the fic. (First chapter can stand alone; don’t read past it if you don’t like unfinished work.) Chaotic humor, sex farce. Canon compliant missing scene wherein I will tell you not to hate the player (me) but the game (S3). The reason Lucifer isn't there to protect Chloe at the end of 03x04? He's with Lexy, the judge's soon-to-be ex-wife. This is that story. Featuring Chuck E. Cheese.

Bound by Iniquity

8k words. Dark 5A canon divergence from Maze's POV. Her dirty dealmaking with Michael backfires, big time.

Get Thee Behind Me

7k words. Porn with plot/feelings. Lucifer and Chloe try anal sex for the first time. Feel-good comedy ensues.

Baptized by Desire

7k words. Dark but sweet S3 divergence. Lucifer comes to believe he really is a delusional human while he's in the psychiatric hospital in "God Johnson."

Hells to Betsy

6k words. Answering the question of how Chloe afforded a large three-bedroom townhouse in L.A., especially once Maze moved out. Come on! Detectives are paid well but not that well!

Darkest Before Dawn

5k words. Sweet, funny, sexy wing fic. No wing oil, but there's a barrel of crude oil and Dawn dishwashing liquid. This is not an ad.

SHORT READS (<5,000 words)

The Dotted Line

4k words. Porn without plot. Lucifer is attracted to Chloe in anything, even undies from Target.

Checked Baggage

4k words. Porn with light plot. What if Chloe took up Jana's offer for a threesome, partly out of spite? Bisexual chaos that is still ultimately very much about Deckerstar.

Winging It & Made in His Image

4k words when read together. Both are chaotic sex farces that wax on about the Devil's dick. They must be read in order.

Reefer Gladness Series: Flying High & Baked with Love

3k words when together. Sweet fluff. Established Deckerstar getting high together.

Lunch at the Y

3k words. Porn without plot. Roughly set in a better post-5A world where Lucifer eats Chloe out in a dressing room because of course he would. That's a love language.

Those Who Favor Fire

2k words. Porn without plot. Roughly set in a better post-S3 world where Deckerstar have gotten their HEA and have been together for some ten years or so.

My God's House Has Many Rooms

2k words. S6's "happy" closeout is creepily vague to me. This story explores a horrific what-if.

Raising Hell

1k words. Porn without plot. An ode to the blowjob.

Use My Words Against Me

1k words. All dialogue, pure chaos. Caught up in yet another scandal, closeted Republican Senator Olin Graham asks the Devil for a favor. You'll only appreciate this if you know enough about American politics and aren't a fascist piece of shit. Sorry not sorry.

Earthly Delights on Borrowed Time

666 words. Post-S4 reimagining where Lucifer and Chloe are making things work.

The Perfect Help Meets

666 words. Dark, canon compliant one-shot about Lucifer's angst/depression as he tries to make things work with Eve, all while he's in love with Chloe.

Other Stuff

A softness came from the starlight and filled me full to the bone — Lucifer meets the comic A Softer World. Inspired by an old post by @casimania that can be found here.

General Fanvids — Deckerstar being painful and/or lovely, plus some Trixie because I love her character.

S6 Critical Fanvids — Just me making sense of S6's plot, which I cannot read as anything other than incredibly dark and anti-choice.

Crack Fanvids — Pure comedy and chaos.

Lucifer Season 6 Time Travel Visualizations — Lucifer S6 uses time travel without clearly laying out how it works. I made two visualizations to help explain the possibilities: one for the loop existing in a single timeline and another for the loop causing or being a part of many/parallel worlds.

Lucifer S6 Wiki — After Lucifer Season 5B and S6, I started digging into the writers’ interviews to understand what the hell had gone wrong. You'll find their answers to a lot of common S6 questions here. They’re real, er, interesting Hollywood folk, to say the least.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Pit: Say, guys?

*Link, Samus, Joker and Mario all look up from their stuff*

Pit: How come none of the Shadowsoulsborne Ring guys ever show up at the mansion? Are they banned or something?

Link: Nah. They- they aren’t really the type you invite.

Pit: You’ve met them?

Samus: We all have, at least one of them.

Pit: Well, what are they like?

Link: I’ve met the Ashen One. At least, I think I did. Them and the Firekeeper. I see them sometimes, in the flickering embers of dying campfires, or the first deep shadows of the night. They’re there, wandering in the places between fire and shadow. Sometimes, when I’m half-asleep, I can almost see them at my campfire, resting on their eternal weary journey, looking for the Light at the end of the Darkness.

Pit: Wha-

Mario: I’ve met Ranni and the Tarnished. When I’m sailing through space, I see them in the moon and starlight. A knight and their witch of pale blue, clothed in a white that itsn’t so much a color as it is the absence of all colors. They’re there, flitting among the star and moonlight. Sometimes they’re fighting something, holding off something incomprehensible. And’ every once and a while, there’s a Golden Ring about them.

Pit: I’m sorry, how-

Samus: I’ve met the Good Hunter. Or, whatever they’ve become. Them and their Doll. Whenever I’m out far at the very edge of everything I can see them. A God and their creation they love. I can’t- I can’t look at the Good Hunter too long. They start to fray at the edges, like a scarf coming apart. But the doll... she seems happy. Or, at least as happy as they can be. I hope so at least. I don’t think they’ll ever stop wandering the stars.

Pit: Well, this is-

Joker: I’ve met Sekiro. He had a child with him, a little girl. He stays close to her, never leaving her side. They came into Le Blanc’s coffee once, and both their eyes were so old, so tired. They’re looking for something. Something that dances just out of reach. The girl because she want sto be free. Sekiro... Sekiro,m I think, searches because he has to. Because it was the last orcer he recieved. They left pretty quick, I haven’t seen them since.

Pit: ...

Link, Mario, Samus, Joker: ...

Pit: Ya’ll done?

Link: Yeah. Yeah we’re done.

Samus: Sorry, that’s what happens when you talk about the Shadowsoulsborne Ring protagonists. You end up giving long grand melancholic speeches.

Pit: Yeah, I fucking gathered. No wonder you’ve never invited them.

[lazylemons247]

Modern AU Steddie Halloween

Every year a member of the Fruity Four chooses a group Halloween costume but what they end up dressing up as is always a mystery until Halloween Day. The first year this tradition started Robin picked the group costume. And she made the whole group dress up as Mario characters Steve was Peach and Eddie was Mario. And boy was that an amusing Halloween for Eddie.

The only reason why it’s a mystery is because when the tradition first began. Since Robin was the first person to choose the group costume and in true Robin fashion she procrastinated deciding the group’s costumes and just ended up winging it at the last minute. And when everyone asked about the costumes she just told everybody “it’s a surprise” or “you’ll find out later.” But that’s a secret that Robin would take to her grave. 

This Halloween Nancy and Robin have decided to go to a different party. So they won’t be participating in the tradition this year. As a result the Fruity Four have decided to do two duo costumes instead of the usual group costume. And since it was Nancy’s turn to choose the costume this year. Steve and Eddie decided to figure out who chooses the costumes in the most adult way possible. By of course playing rock, paper, scissors to find out who will choose the costumes this year. 

“Ok, do you go on scissors or shoot?” Steve asked inquisitively.

“I go on scissors,” Eddie replies.

“Who the fuck goes on scissors?” Steve asks while scrunching his face and glaring at Eddie.

“Whatever man, why even ask, let’s go on shoot then.”

“Alright rock, paper, scissors shoot,” Steve says.

Steve plays rock and Eddie chooses paper. Eddie wins.

“Two out of three,” Steve insists.

Eddie chooses paper and Steve chooses rock. Eddie covers Steve’s fist with his hand.

“Four out of six?” Steve asks  

“Don’t be a sore loser Stevie,” Eddie teases while lightly shoving Steve, “besides you know I’m going to pick amazing costumes for the both of us.”

“Yeah, okay, Munson, just don’t pick anything too weird.”

“Oh Harrington, have you even met me? ‘Weird’ is my middle name.”

“Okay Munson,” Steve says curiously. 

So since Eddie won he gets to pick the costume this year and boy is he stoked. He’s been pondering on what he’d make everyone dress up as since the tradition began. But since Nancy and Robin are canceling he’s going to have to change up his plans. He didn’t want to make the costumes too weird or nerdy because then nobody would know what they were dressed as. But he also didn’t want to make it too basic because it would be mortifying to see someone else dressed in the same costume at the party. So he decides to go for a DC Comics duo costume. Sue him, he's not that creative and he’s low on time. Although he has taken the creative liberty to at least modify the costumes so if someone does dress the same as them their costumes will be a little more innovative to say the least.

Halloween Night

“Oh my gosh, Eddie!”

“Yeah, Stevie?” It takes him a second but he finally registers why he’s calling when Steve steps out of the room, “Do you like your costume?”

Steve comes out of Eddie’s room dressed in a white and red crop top and some of his chest hair is showing. He’s wearing half blue and half red short shorts with fishnet tights underneath them. He has a half red and half blue jean jacket to match which is currently wrapped around his waist. Eddie dyed the jacket and put various patches on it. And for the costume Eddie let him borrow his black boots he also bought a spiked collar for Steve. And man did Steve look drop dead gorgeous, stunning, he looked delectable when he left the room. 

“What do you think?” Steve asks and his question comes out dripping with insecurity and that makes Eddie’s heart break a little. Eddie has to pick his jaw off of the floor to even reply to Steve. “You look absolutely breathtaking” Steve began to blush profusely. “You look incredible as well” then they both paused to admire one another’s costumes “We… sh-should get to the party yeah, Mr. J” Steve says in his best Harley impression. “Yeah we should get going, Harls.”

End of Pt. 1

[lowkeycasanova]

Down bad pt. 2

You invited Vinnie over to your friends house as there was a get-together happening and you thought not only y'all could hang out, but he could meet some of your good friends.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. He didn't want to be flustered around you, but as a result of not going out as much as his peers, he also knew that he'd be in a room with people he didn't know and he'd hate to make a bad first impression.

For a moment, he thought about not going. But he didn't want to disappoint you.

Upon arriving, Vinnie was greeted by your friend Cody at the front door, who recognized him immediately and let him in.

"Yo, you're Vinnie, right?"

"That's me."

"Y/N told us you might be here." Cody replied and shut the door behind them.

Despite the house being in the Hollywood Hills, a place well known for its outlandish parties, it was actually a small gathering with a few people, just like you said.

He took in his surroundings as the other guys came to greet him.

Your friend Maya bumped your shoulder. "There go your boyfriend."

You followed her eyes and saw Vinnie greeting the boys with that handshake guys always do.

"You're so annoying." you told her with a smile.

Vinnie's eyes scanned the room and you two made eye contact.

With as much confidence as he could muster up, he walked toward you and gave you a big ol bear hug.

He smells good, you thought.

Long story short, everyone wanted to get to know Vinnie, so y'all sat down on the white couch to get more comfortable and personal.

"So...what do you do besides the whole tik tok thing?"

"Um," Vinnie started off but was silent for a moment, feeling all eyes on him. You know like how you're in school and the teacher wants everyone to introduce themselves and suddenly you forget who you are for a second? Yeah.

"I've been modeling a lot. Or trying to get back into it. I did a photoshoot for Tings magazine and just recently came back from Paris. I attended the Ami Menswear show as a guest."

"Now that I'm thinking about it," Cody said. "I did see you. I mean, I wasn't there but I saw photos from the event."

"Pink vest?"

"Yeah!"

"That was me."

"How old are you?" someone else asked.

"I'm 20."

"No way? I would've guessed you were pushing 23."

***

You sat there smiling while Vinnie talked more about his interests. He mentioned cars, gaming, but the only thing you could relate to was anime. At least some of it. But nevertheless, you enjoyed listening to him talk and become more comfortable.

Everyone gets eventually gets up except for you and Vinnie and you inch closer to him.

"I like your outfit." you tell him.

He's wearing black sweatpants with a red shirt and red bandana to match.

"Thanks." he says sheepishly.

Internally he's so fucking happy. He was rummaging around in his closet for an hour.

“You know what’s funny?” He asks. You give him a look to keep going. “The fact that I’m here. I mainly meet people through my friends because I don’t go out a lot.”

“Meaning…because you’re on Valorant most of the time, right?” You laughed.

“Precisely. I find comfort in my PC.”

“At least you’re not out wasting money.” You shrugged. “So tell me more about this game.”

“It can get really annoying. And it’s bad because I spend so much time on it.”

“You any good?”

“I’m…pretty decent. What about you. You play anything?”

“Does Mario Cart on Nintendo Switch count?”

He laughed out loud.

“What?” You said defensively. “It’s fun!”

"No, I'm not laughing to make fun of you, I swear. That's a fun one. You'll have to let me play with you one of these days."

"Maybe we can hang out again before I leave to Chicago."

“Why you going there?”

"Oh, just a friend's birthday party and I have a couple brand events."

"I hope you have a good time. Keep me updated."

"Sure, what's your number?"

***

Your friend Blake announced that pizza was here and everyone scrambled into the kitchen. You and Vinnie got up from your spots on the couch and met up with them.

While getting food, you stood thisclose to Vinnie, able to better see the tattoos on his arm.

"I really like this one." You told him, referring to the skeleton on his bicep and then holding his arm to run your thumb across it.

He rolled up his sleeve so you could see it better and told you when he got it. Smiling, as he was proud to talk about it and would gladly explain each an every one of his tattoos if you'd be down to listen.

Vinnie grabbed his food and walked off and you turned to see Maya across the counter from you with a look on her face as if to say 'something you wanna tell me?'

She'd seen the interaction between you and Vinnie but you didn't know that.

"What? Just gave him a compliment." you shrugged.

She scoffed. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

***

He was prepared to come, say a few words to you, then back away in nervousness to stand in the corner on his phone.

He wasn't gonna lie. Vinnie did feel a little intimidated by being here, but you were so easy to talk to and he felt grateful that you and your friends made him feel included.

——-

Note:

Sorry the ending was shit