#attracted to women? no. attracted to men? yes. but otherwise idk :^)

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it

[kisses4reid]

understand? pt. 1 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

summary - you’re a polyglot translator assigned to work for the bau in a cross-national case, and there’s a doctor who wants to impress you.

genre - fem!reader, SHE/HER r, fluff, meet cute, you know more than spencer and he’s attracted to that

warnings - you're both awkward, mentions of gross case file photos, little research about polyglots actually done so there are inaccuracies, cliffhanger for part 2.

w/c - 1.4k

a/n - thank you for the req anon!! there was multiple parts to this but i really like the first idea so that’s what this fic is about, might keep the other idea for later hehe. i did change some aspects. love you, thank you for the support <33 there will be multiple parts!!! stay tuned!!!

req - hi pia 💞💝🩷💓 how r u? i hope you’re feeling wonderful! this is my first time requesting smthg i apologize if i get something wrong! i’ve been having 2 thoughts about spencer x fem!reader, where reader is a russian translator and idk they meet cute or she has to work with the bau helping them on a case. just wanted to give these ideas to you, obviously feel free to do anything with them! i really enjoy your work and your writing is incredible! i have your notifications on so i am always reading whatever you post! have a great day pia 💝 lots n lots of kisses for u!

This was not what you expected. 

You, a woman in your late twenties that spent most of her time in a room listening to voices and decoding foreign messages, didn’t know what you expected. But this: a scary boss, an italian old man, and a skinny college kid, was not it. 

“Y/n L/n? I’m Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief, and this is Agent Rossi and Doctor Agent Reid.” 

You nodded your head, thick hair covering your top eyelashes as you glanced at the men. Agent Rossi shook your hand, and Dr Reid simply stood and gawked at you. To be honest, it made you worried. You had been warned this was a close knit team, that they trusted each other more than anything and that you shouldn’t get attached to any of them as you’d only be assisting them for one case.

Maybe they just didn’t warm up to new people. 

“I’ll do your formal introduction to the rest of the team now, if you’re settled down.” He asks cooly. You like the way his voice rasps, it’s assertive yet comforting. 

“Yes, of course. I can’t wait.” You smiled reassuringly at the unit chief, not ignoring the raised eyebrow you received from the silent young man now behind you.

Aaron Hotchner, your new boss for the next week or so, lead you to a large room with a circular table sat in the middle. There were two other women, one blonde and one raven haired, and another bald man that glanced at you immediately after you entered. They smiled at you and trailed your steps to where you stood beside the unit chief in front of a large TV screen.

“Everyone, this is Agent Y/n L/n. She’ll be assisting us with the Becker case you’ve all been informed of. She’ll mainly be our translator and interpreter, but she’ll also be useful for cultural identifiers and anything that we wouldn’t notice otherwise.” 

You nodded along, never being a fan of introductions since you moved to America as a small child. 

“This is JJ, our liaison, Agent Emily Prentiss and Agent Derek Morgan.” 

The ladies smiled at you, in fact all of them did. They were surprisingly open to the fact you would be joining them, the fact made your shoulders loosen and a breath to be let out discreetly. 

Next, you were on a long plane flight to Maine with Agents you had known for little under two hours, conversing about victim profiles and motives. The table in front of the ladies and your boss was strewn with victim files and gruesome photos. And while you weren’t a stranger to the dangers and violence the job brought, you had gotten comfortable with only hearing about it and not seeing it. So you opted to hover around the table and stay silent, you weren’t a trained profiler after all, just a translator.  

There was a wave of cologne that disrupted your senses, causing you to angle your head back, only to be greeted by the tall doctor. 

You smiled softly, assuming the closeness was due to the aeroplane's arrangement. Also because you got the vibe that Spencer didn’t like you. 

“Are you okay? You seem uneasy,” he asked. It was the first time you heard his voice. And it was as adolescent as you imagined for someone so young, but it had a sophisticated edge to it, with a honey-like undertone. Finding things in voices as if they were perfumes was something you unconsciously started to do since working as a translator.

“I’m fine.” You grinned reassuringly, turning back to focus on the team’s findings. 

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows slightly and stepped away, sitting down beside Morgan who had taken a seat at the back. Morgan squinted at his friend, noticing the rare confusion splayed on his face as he stared in your direction. 

“What’s up? Pretty girl got your tongue?” Morgan removed his headphones with a cheeky smile displayed on his handsome face.

“For someone who specialises in languages she doesn’t talk much.” 

Morgan smirked, “Maybe not to you.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong though.” Spencer ripped his gaze off the back of your head.

“You’ve been staring at her since she walked through those doors. You were so distracted you didn’t even greet her this morning.” Morgan pointed out. Spencer tilted his head confused, a small blush creeping up his neck. “I watched the whole thing from the conference room, so did JJ and Emily.” 

The tall boy slumped in his chair and forced himself to look out of the plane’s window, avoiding a reply to Morgan as he knew it would only result in more teasing. You were physically attractive, everyone could see that, but the thing that caught Spencer’s attention was your intelligence. He was no stranger to being a polyglot, he learnt languages for fun, but you were simply next level. Morgan studied Spencer’s face for a second before raising his attention to your hovering state. “Agent Y/n L/n.” Morgan called, causing Spencer to widen his eyes and immediately adjust his slumped position in his plane seat. You turned your head in surprise, slightly confused why you would be needed anywhere else than the files you had been translating for the past two minutes. Your heels were silent against the carpeted floors, but Spencer could sense your presence anyways. 

“How many languages do you speak?” The stoic man asked, his eyes darting between you and the doctor below you. You were not short, your genes didn’t allow for it, but you had noticed you were only taller than JJ and Rossi in the team and it felt foreign to not tower over everyone. “Um, I speak 8 languages fluently, and 4 languages semi-fluently.” You stated, readying to turn back to assist the team before Morgan spoke up once again

“Did you know that pretty boy can speak Spanish and German?” 

Before Spencer could help himself, he corrected the man, “And Latin and Russian,” Spencer turned his head up to you, “But I can understand more.” 

You smiled, genuinely impressed and confused on how a man that young could learn that much. But to be fair, you were in the same boat. The nickname got your attention, locking it in the back of your mind to remind yourself that the people you were working with did in fact have senses of humour, and weren’t just heartless officers. There wasn’t any reason to think that though, as you had been cared for with respect and even Prentiss made a funny remark beforehand. It sort of felt like a family dinner you were intruding on. “That’s impressive, Doctor Reid.” You reply genuinely. 

“I mean it’s nothing compared to you though,” his voice was pitched slightly higher and his hands started motioning to nothing in particular, “your brain is constantly changing from high activity to low activity when you're translating from one language to another. Your language network, the lateral frontal lobe, is constantly lighting up and dimming down depending on what language you hear, ordinary people’s language networks only turn on and off.” 

Morgan smirked and glanced up at your intrigued and surprised expression. You nodded, a small blush coating the tips of your ears as you responded, “Thank you.” You didn’t really know what else to say, which is funny for someone who understands so many languages, so you simply smiled and turned back to the table. Spencer slumped again, watching you walk away and asking himself why he would inform a pretty girl about her own brain, when she most definitely already knows about it. 

“Don’t worry too much, Reid.” Morgan called, grabbing Spencer’s attention. The boy raised a brow, not understanding. “She digs it, I can tell. But she’s just like you, knows how to speak in a million ways and still doesn’t know how to small talk.” 

You landed without any more awkward interactions, and got introduced to some sheriffs in Maine, one of them giving you a tighter handshake than the rest and a stare that could only mean unpleasant things. It wasn't something sexist or creepy that lingered in his eyes, it was more like hatred. Spencer took the sheriff's attention away from you after noticing what the whole team did, and asked him to show him the records they kept at the precinct.

Emily Prentiss came up behind you and placed a hand on your upper arm, squeezing it like she understood what you had thought you'd seen. Out of everyone else in the team, she would understand the most.

taglist (open!!): @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld

[youremyheaven]

this is gunna sound so weird... men make my skin crawl. Like im attracted to men but everytime i see a man, my rbf awakens and i become hyper aware of my surroundings 😭

it doesn't help that im attending an all girls college now... any advice on how to ease up pls around them? I find it hard to even want to talk to them 😭 ik all men aren't bad and i may always not be in danger (imagine that in all caps and red) but i just wanna be able behave and think like a normal person around them ( this is so much that i even can't stand strangers)

Loads of luv to you ❤

honestly i hope u meet better men!!! there are some disgusting nasty perverted pieces of shit out there who dont deserve to be around women and i completely get why u would feel repulsed by them.

i wonder if u have malefic influence, they usually struggle the most with the opposite gender

tips on how to ease up around men:

think in terms of energy. dont project anger or hatred because thats what you will see in return. i know this is very triggering and difficult for many people but you HAVE to believe in good to SEE good. despite absolutely everything that ive gone thru, i still believe that people are inherently good, kind and helpful and i see proof of it everyday.

ive had men treat me with dignity, respect and kindness in the shadiest of circumstances and ive had men be nasty to me out in the open, so it just comes down to character. just think of men as people honestly and not as hound dogs about to attack u.

2. imagine them as little boys

sometimes when men are soft or boyish with me, it reminds me of how they mustve been as kids and it warms me. i have two little boy cousins who are 12 and 6 respectively and they both adooooreeee me and want to marry me when they grow up🥺🥺🥺theyre the sweetest kids on the planet and i could never ever feel otherwise, theyre my babies. idk if this is something u can relate to but think of a little boy you're close to, how innocent and silly he is and how you could never see him as a threat or hate him and understand that grown men can be like that too.

3. how we treat people has a lot to do with how people treat us

if you have a rbf and generally act standoffish and cold/distant, then you're probably perceived as being bitchy 😬😬and nevermind men, even women probably find u intimidating or hard to approach. im only saying this because learning how to navigate social situations is 90% of adulthood and the key to personal and professional success.

learn to smile more. i know women hate being told to smile but honestly we should alllll smile more. force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit. be that person who smiles at strangers. dont u feel happy when someone smiles at you??? so in turn, be that person to others!!! <33

learn to get out of your head. most people think too much. i hate spending time with people who talk about everything from a victim pov. like yes sure u/we women, are in a position of disadvantage in many ways, historically speaking but ???? this attitude?? wont get u anywhere. (I'm speaking generally and not about you particularly)

i would say the key is to turn inward and work on yourself. read all those cliche self help books about "how to influence people" yada yada,, learn social etiquette and watch all those youtube gurus who teach soft skills. forget about men and hating them for a second and just focus on self improvement. as you change, youll see the world change with u.

just think of men as people basically. also idk if youre familiar with carl jung but i feel like you have a wounded animus. many women who grew up with an absent (emotionally or otherwise) father grow up to project all that onto men. and in turn have damaging relationships with men!!

im not a man defender and im in no way saying all men are good but i genuinely dont think its healthy to hate, thats all!!

idk if any of this is helpful sikeee but lmk if u have any updates

also lots of love to u too angel!!<3

[louiswilliamtomlinsons]

https://www.tumblr.com/itslouistomlinson/744776733436297216/i-dont-understand-people-who-dont-believe-in?source=share

No but HONESTLY THIS !! I'm on the field of even if you don't believe larry is a thing now HOW can you sit there and think they have never been a thing or had a thing EVER ?!?! Like louis ass was literally thrusting his crotch in H direction on stage and then smirking at H ass after H kept staring at it all flustered AND they constantly treated their mics as a d*** they were sucking or giving a hand job to while staring at the other. I'm also on the field of even if you don't think larry is a thing you can not sit here and say they prefer women over men when larry with women is awkward, uncomfortable, unsure what to do, "she seems nice" while larry with men is helloooo, in my element, knows what to do and "he's so fuckin hot."

If you look at these pics/gifs and STILL think H is straight idk what to tell you.

EXACTLY!!!!! even if they didn’t date they for sure had something going on. and yes about them being so awkward about women. i’m attracted to women and i’ve never in my life talked about them like that. it’s always so embarrassing when they do, i literally have to hide my face in my hands because of the second hand embarrassment i get. but whatever their sexuality is, harry is definitely not straight. no fucking way. he’s even said he’s unlabeled and that’s definitely not straight imo. louis has had many instances of queercoding and that means something. even if you don’t think he’s queer he’s shown support to queer people and that means a lot to many of us. i DO believe they’re queer though because as a queer person i recognize those things. i hate the fact the default is “straight until proven otherwise”, it’s fucking annoying and stupid

[survivalove]

Is it just me or is “I personally would forgive a boy for violating my boundaries so it’s ok for Katara to be portrayed that way” the same logic as “I personally want to be a hot guy’s arm candy so fire lady Katara is an empowering trope”? Like idk, I can’t get behind either ship for Katara. Neither one gives her character genuine power and the fans of both still fall back on the same stupid “she chose it so it’s feminist” fallacy that’s in vogue rn. I feel like both sides of the “ship war” are women projecting on Katara and the only difference between them is which variety of toxic masculinity they’re attracted to

I wouldn’t say the logic is necessarily the same, since these statements seem to be on very differing levels…

for the first one, i don’t think anyone’s projecting because as you said that is how she is depicted. i can’t say how i would react if i was in katara’s shoes because there’s no way I can imagine myself in that specific relationship or in her literal shoes. i personally haven’t seen anyone try to rebrand her forgiveness specifically as feminist even though I’m sure there are people doing that out there, but I agree it’s not.

let’s establish that not every choice a woman makes is feminist. that’s the problem I have with choice feminism which is what you’re talking about. women and girls these days are trying to spin every choice they make as feminist or empowering. just because something personally empowers you, doesn’t make it inherently feminist. there is nothing feminist about women marrying men in general, but women do and make other choices based on whatever circumstances that that led them there.

what i will say is i don’t typically police women and girls for not having the reactions they “should have”. does that mean that i think the reaction is feminist or that the choice is the right choice? nope and I don’t. again, not everything a woman does is feminist and you don’t have to agree with or support everything a woman does, real or otherwise.

feminism is a critical political movement with active conscious choices being made. on the other hand, there are women who autonomously uphold patriarchy, so no not every choice a woman makes is feminist.

that being said, if you don’t want to ship kataang that’s fine. i know a lot of katara stans that don’t ship either and i myself was like that for quite a few years growing up.

now the second statement seems to be downplaying a LOT (like zuko is way more than a “hot guy” and the fact that you kinda left out that he also violated katara multiple times makes me a bit skeptical of this ask) but i’m gonna respond anyway. all i’ll say is that this would actually be projection considering katara has no inkling in canon of wanting to be with zuko or to be fire lady. she even hates the idea of her own father living in a palace after the war. so it takes a very conscious effort to ship this and say “this is what katara would want” when this is just simply not what is presented to us at all.

compared to kataang, we see this is a choice (of course made by the mostly male writers) that katara makes over and over again in the series. katara kissing aang on the cheek, touching him every 5 seconds, showing attraction to him, getting jealous of other girls that are attracted to him, kissing him and kissing him back, even after EIP. is any of this feminist or moving women forward? lol no it’s a het romance in a kids’ show but I don’t see how one would have to project on to katara to enjoy the ship as it’s depicted.

do i like kataang for katara, yes. am i attracted to aang, ABSOLUTELY NOT. do I think katara could have achieved everything she achieved post canon if she wasn’t in a relationship with aang, of course!!! does me, a woman, liking any het ship make it feminist, negative.

[hypergamiss]

Hey, I wanted to ask advice from you since there isn't anyone else I can ask this. I've never been in a relationship before because I always wanted this very ideal kinda man who's driven and knows his worth but is in love w me and spoils me but in a healthy way. Now I'm in college and I'm really lonely. I figured if I wanted to be surrounded by better (high value) people, I would have to be one of them. But now I'm lonely and not sure if I can actually make it. I actually hang around people but guys are immature and girls kinda look down on me (it's like "I'm with you so I feel better about myself" or because I'm always smiling and child-like in my attitude which could be considered charming but I feel like since I'm not really physically attractive they think I'm some sort of clown or smth). I'm no one's favorite/special person and no one is mine, but when I try to get close to someone, I can quickly tell they think I'm disposable. So I stay away. And I don't know if I'm doing things right. I'm studying business stuff so making friends and having a social circle you belong in is very important, but I can't indulge in activities I don't like or be friends with people I find boring. I do talk w people, but I wouldn't call them friends.

Maybe it's because I feel I don't deserve it in some way. And I hate it when people try to gaslight others by saying they're pretty or that they just need makeup and skincare to glow. Sure, for some people that might work, but I'd rather see it as it is so I can actually look better. I do invest in self care (mentally and physically), like skincare and haircare and hygiene and whatnot, so it's not like I'm not trying, but I don't think that would boost my attractiveness. I mean I'm naturally skinny and I don't have acne problems, my actual problem is that I have an underbite, meaning I'll need surgery+braces to fix, which is very hard when you don't have the means to pay for it. I don't think I'll be able to afford it anytime soon so I try to work hard so I can afford it later, but it's hard to keep going when I feel like this (thinking maybe I won't be able to make it cuz I'm not attractive enough). I guess I started believing that I'll stay unattractive for now and for a long time too.

When I went through your blog (esp this post) I figured I shouldn't settle for less, but do I deserve better? Idk. It's just hard to work hard and believe that I can do better when I know I can't, and I don't wanna gaslight myself in believing otherwise so I can actually fix it, but the only thing that could fix it is too expensive for me and idk what to do

You are not wrong or crazy for having standards. But you do need to be realistic about the type of man that you are willing to settle for. You're talking about the 1%. This is a good and ideal person to save your energy for. But you're in college. Men your age are simply not able to give you the life you want right now. Think about how you are still trying to get your own life together at the moment. He may come to you now or some years down the road. As long as you make room for him, he will come. But you can't rush something that is still being developed. This is also why age gaps exist. Some women are ready to settle but the type of man they want is certainly not in their 20s. You also have to be realistic about being lonely. That is a part of waiting for someone who is worth it. Yes, being lonely can suck, but there is also beauty in learning how to enjoy your own company and having your own life outside of a partner. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking you don't deserve something simply because it is not happening fast enough. If being an exceptional human being was easy, everyone would do it. But naturally, the road less taken is lonelier. I think what you're doing at the moment is perfect, your are focused on improving on what you can control and that's simply the best thing you can do. I advise you to write in your journal about what your ideal life would look like and come back to it to read it when you feel discouraged so that you envision yourself at your end goal.

[menalez]

https://www.tumblr.com/menalez/723707154787352576/naur-have-you-seen-coloredcanvass-essay-reblog-to

^ it gets even worse lmfao cuz she wrote her own essay reply to her (i think 6b4t blocked her cuz i can’t see it in the notes) and it’s even longer and more deranged.. the essay wars kek

yeah uh i saw it and there’s literally so many issues i have w so many parts of that response that idek where to even begin. she’s straight up talking over an eastern lesbian of colour repeatedly, minimises homophobia from OSA women, argues OSA women don’t have the power to perpetuate homophobia, compared op to incels, and more… she even argued that straight women are put in conversion therapy by their husbands??? it was really weird.

saying a lesbian of colour “sounds like an incel” for saying that radfems should be separatists (???????)

argues that libfems calling for a sex strike when roe v wade was overturned is somehow a bad thing, bc apparently encouraging women to sleep with men (who are unlikely to even sexually satisfy women to begin with) & risking getting pregnant from it when they can be literally prosecuted for getting an abortion makes sense..? like at least the libfems were trying to make a statement about how if women have no rights then women aren’t gonna waste their time sexually pleasing men!

this was just bizarre. i could also compare russia to taiwan to argue that asia has the best gay rights and europe has the worst but at the end of the day we know that the west is ahead in terms of human rights (women’s rights, gay rights, individual rights, etc). no, not all of the east has it bad & not all of the west has it good. op never even argued otherwise! she said that western women overall have more privileges than eastern women, western gay ppl overall have more privileged than eastern gay people, and so they can afford to be less extreme in their fight against discrimination & oppression in a way that the rest of us cannot. she did not say that every western woman is super privileged and lazy or something.

also i love the assumption that tokyo is like, a good example of a place where homosexuality is accepted.

we were talking about lesbians specifically and if the fact that women have no agency in a huge portion of the world and are often forced into marriages and there’s phenomena of lesbians taking vows of chastity JUST so they don’t have to be with men doesn’t clue u in on how many lesbians have resigned to the fact that they can never actually be with women, then idk how to help.

my god. do we really need to explain how there’s significantly more & better representation of female heterosexuality than there is of female same sex attraction then?

conversion therapy? for being attracted to men? are u being serious right now… the rest is true and idk how this is supposed to support the idea that women should keep on marrying men. but women are not sent to conversion therapy for being married to men.. thats not a thing

minimising homophobia from women as if lesbians haven’t been abused, disowned, sent to conversion therapy, forced into het marriages, duped into situations with men, etc etc with the help of OSA women..

not all men

saying things are far less common in the west & women generally have it better in the west is different from saying they don't exist in the west. yes, all of those horrible things exist in the west. no, overall, misogyny in the west is not as blatant and overt and accepted and indeed western women have a privilege over eastern women in that sense. women where im from literally cannot even go to police for being raped bc that often means losing everything. shi'a women where im from cannot initiate divorce even when theyre being abused. marital rape is legal where im from. these are just a few examples of things we experience and its not wrong to say that.

calling an eastern woc a “racist, classist piece of shit” for saying western women tend to face less extreme misogyny than us sure is something.

if every woman was fully aware of her oppression and combatting misogyny then things would be very different today. even women in the middle east will argue they don’t have it bad. my own mother argued she never faced misogyny in the workplace while also saying she quit work because they kept sexualising her and telling her she’s too “alluring” as she’s the only non-hijabi in her workplace. people face oppression, it doesn’t mean they are aware of it or accept the nature of it as oppression.

there’s a couple more things she said that i take issues with but there’s a limit to how many screenshots i can share so let me summarise the remaining stuff:

1. thecoloredcanvas offended on behalf of eastern women and putting “eastern” in quotations, but not doing the same for western women. odd behaviour because i’ve never come across an eastern woman who even takes issue with the term.

2. saying “no radfem is seriously claiming that they can’t live or function without sex” immediately followed up with “sex absolutely is a need”…

3. saying woc & lesbians aren’t being “chased out of” radical feminist spaces. she even argues that if we leave radblr, it’s on us as if this space isn’t hostile to us and protective of racist & homophobic women. she ignores the entire history of “the lavender menace” & political lesbianism & racism & lesbophobia within radical feminism.

[crazyalien87]

I honestly feel more varioriented than perioriented because...

My romantic orientation and my sexual orientation are seaprate from each other. They are different things. I mean yeah soemtimes I have both attractions to one person and they can combine, but even then it is still different. I dont see sex as an inherent part of a romantic relationship to me. For me it is an awesome bonus but certsinly not meccessary. Like a DLC. Or adding more toppings to a pepperoni pizza. Etc. Awesome but so not needed bc the romantic relationship is already awesome.

But that is so different from how most others see romance! And this confused the hell out of me until I figured it out! Like there is something that almost everyone knows about romance except me. Like everyone understands this nebulous concept somehow except me. And like I get that technically a perioriented person can also be like this but like dang?! It is rare?! So rare. Like are there any cases we know of ever? Idk probably those allos aho are fine dating aces but not having sex. Like me if i had a nonhot bf lolol. well doesnt have to be a dude but men are rarely hot to me. Ngl back in high school i was worried i couldnt date any dude unless he was ace or otherwise ok with not having sex with me bc i hated the idea of me having sex with a dude so badly back then.

Anyway. Of course there is this complication of im varioriented now technically by 2 reasons: 1. im romanticslly attracted to all genders but sexually only to most but not all of them (women, men, and nonbinary genders that aren't neutral) and 2. romantically i have no gender/sex preference but sexually i have big preference for women (it varies from like 51% to like 100%😳). But like reason #2 isn't neccesarily varioriented? i mean it is usually like heteroromantic bisexual or something like that, not different preferences. A while ago I actually coined the term varilean for a perioriented mspec whose romantic and sexual orientations are technically the same but have such varied preferences that thet feel different. But is that actually varioriented? Maybe?? I mean when i or someone else ask someone about it they say yes so I guess so?

Also reason #1. Uh only some ppl would accept it bc many ppl would define attraction as only to women &/or men (or no) and not defime it based on attraction to nonbinary people. So then by this logic, my romantic and sexual orientation are both to the same set of sexes (both of them). Not to mention that even withoht this, it is such a small group of ppl genderwise who i can be attracted to romantically but not sexually. Bc it is only some nonbinary people, and nombinary people are already so rare. Altho, I actually define my orientatopn based on sex phenotypes and not genders but use genders as shorthand for like "ppl who look like that gender('s transition goals)". But still a small group either way. I mean how do I know I cannot be attracted to them? Bc I assume it to be true, bc it feels right? Or maybe I just wanna be varioriented bc my romantic and sexual orientation are so different (despite both being bi) that calling myself perioriented feels weird? Bc I dont relate to perioriented people as much as I should? But I don't want to intrude on varioriented people's space? But I can't be intruding if I am them😭.

Idk dawg😭.

[mangonatural]

Window Shopping (1.1k) (AO3) for @jimmynovakweek day 3 (lgbtq+ interpretations)

The salesman's hand lingers on Jimmy's wrist, having tilted his arm to show off the way the cufflink gleams in the light.

"Isn't it a bit fancy?" Jimmy asks.

"I think it suits you, but..." His skilled hands remove the cufflink. There's no skin-to-skin contact between them, but Jimmy can feel the warmth through his suit jacket. It isn't comforting so much as electrifying. "What did you say you did again?"

"I'll be selling ads for AM Radio. Nothing special."

The salesman sighs and returns the cufflink to its box and then goes digging for another. He produces a simple pair, polished to shine, but without any sort of design on them.

When he puts them on, they both agree that they'll suffice.

"Come back when you've been promoted," the salesman says as Jimmy leaves, his new purchases tucked safely into a paper bag. "We'll get you a better pair of cufflinks that'll suit both you and your new position."

—

Amelia is nice.

When she laughs, her blond hair falls in her face and she has to push it back behind her ears. Jimmy thinks it's what someone who could come to love her would fixate on. He always looks out for little things like that.

She's the daughter of one of his mom's friends. Jimmy has been told in no uncertain terms that she's looking for a good Christian husband. That she's looking to settle down.

He thinks he could come to love her if he puts in the work.

He thinks, also, that she should find someone who wouldn't have to work at love quite so much.

"I had a nice time today," she says when their date comes to an end.

"I did too," Jimmy replies. It's not a lie.

"I'd like to see you again."

Her smile is so hopeful that Jimmy doesn't have the heart to tell her no.

—

"Hey, Jimbo! How've you been?"

Jimmy looks up from his food court sandwich in time to see Brody, an old friend from college, waving at him as he approaches.

"Good, man, and you?" Jimmy sets his sandwich down just in time for Brody to pull him into one of his signature rousing hugs, complete with his two loud slaps on the back.

"Just wonderful!" Brody says and grins. "Found the girl of my dreams and everything!"

"Yeah? Good for you!"

"Here." Brody pulls a photo out of his breast pocket and shows it to Jimmy. "Look at her. Isn't she perfect?"

She is, indeed, beautiful, and Jimmy tells him as much. Brody preens at the positive attention.

Jimmy does feel good about it—he does! But even though he hasn't seen Brody in at least eight months, he also can't help but feel like he's losing something.

Brody puts the photo back. "What about you? You got a girl?"

And yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe that's the piece that Jimmy's missing.

—

The man takes a long drag of his cigarette and sits down beside Jimmy on the church steps. "You look hungry," he says.

"Just ate," Jimmy replies.

"And when was that? Two hours ago?"

Jimmy looks at his watch. "Thirty minutes."

"You weren't at the 5:30 service?"

Jimmy shakes his head.

The man huffs out a smoky laugh. "No wonder you're hungry, then."

Jimmy lifts his head to look up at the star-lit sky. Night always came so early in the winter. "I've had my fill. I went to the 11 AM service."

"And you came back for more?"

"I thought it might grant me some clarity."

The man lifts an eyebrow, staring at Jimmy scrutinizingly. "You ever think the answer isn't in there?"

Jimmy shrugs. "Maybe."

"You ever think about going looking?"

"If I found an answer, what could I even do with it?"

The man laughs. "There's a wide world out there."

It really isn't much of an answer.

—

"Isn't Amelia nice?" Jimmy's mom asks.

"She's nice, Ma," Jimmy replies.

"Oh? How nice?"

Jimmy sighs and stops chopping carrots. "Ma, I didn't drive all the way out here to talk about Amelia. I just wanted to spend some quality time with you."

Jimmy's mom purses her lips. "If she's not good enough, I can find you someone else."

"Ma!" Jimmy protests, "That's not what I'm saying at all!"

"You could at least sound a little more enthusiastic about her," she says critically.

"I'm enthusiastic!" Jimmy says. "I promise! But the last time I saw you was two months ago, and I saw Amelia just last week!"

"Good." She sticks her wooden spoon into her pot and stirs it a bit before tapping it against the rim. "So I can expect a wedding before the year is out?"

Jimmy sighs.

—

Mark stops by Jimmy's desk at the end of the workday, rapping his knuckles on Jimmy's desk and grinning.

"You want to grab a bite?" he asks.

"I'd love to," Jimmy says, standing up and gathering his suit jacket up on his arm. "You paying?"

Mark laughs out loud. "You're a funny guy," he says and Jimmy beams. "You want to go to Alexander's?"

"They're a bit pricey, aren't they?" Jimmy asks.

"Yeah, a little bit," Mark says. "It's good food, though."

"Well if it's got your stamp of approval, how can I argue?"

"You get it," Mark replies and bumps his shoulder up against Jimmy's as they walk to the elevator.

—

Amelia sighs. "Oh, Jimmy, I can't read you."

Jimmy blinks. "What do you mean?"

"Can you be honest with me?" she asks.

Jimmy nods.

"Do you even like me?"

Jimmy's eyebrows raise, but before he can even answer, Amelia is quick to follow up.

"It's like, you show up, and we talk, and it's nice, but I can't really tell if you're invested."

"I like you," Jimmy says because it's true.

"And you're invested?" Amelia asks, a little desperately.

"Of course," Jimmy says.

A soft smile spreads across Amelia's face and she breathes out a sigh of relief. "Good, good."

Uncertainly, Jimmy smiles back.

—

Mark points his plastic fork at the waterfowl in the lake. "Check it out. Pied-billed Grebe."

"Yep," Jimmy agrees. "Haven't seen them around in a while."

"Perks of the warm weather," Mark says and digs his spoon back into his cup of ice cream.

"Among other things," Jimmy comments, looking pointedly at Mark as he eats.

Mark shrugs. "I'm celebrating. I love Spring."

"It's nice," Jimmy says. "Unless you have seasonal allergies."

"Which neither of us have," Mark points out. "Damn, this is good. You should've gotten some."

For a second, Jimmy considers just asking for a taste, but then reconsiders. "Next time," he says with a wave of his hand.

Mark smiles and it brings a smile to Jimmy's face before Jimmy can even think about it. "Sounds good," Mark says.

—

The man with the cigarette is there on the church steps when Jimmy arrives.

"Here again?" he asks.

Jimmy nods.

They don't talk this time, sitting there for an hour in silence until eventually Jimmy stands up and walks away, no closer to an answer than he was when he arrived.

[animebw]

Sudden Realization Time

If you’ve been following me for any decent amount of time, you probably know that I am not a fan (heh) of fanservice. Its presence is anime and manga is almost always my least favorite part of whatever work it’s in, and it often actively destroys my ability to enjoy an otherwise entertaining show. I can count on one hand the number of anime where I didn’t mind the fanservice, and in none of those cases was it actually positive, just neutral. And when it’s done especially poorly? Hoooooo boy, does it suck.

The thing is, I’m far from a prude or puritan. I’m not immune to the power of oversized anime tiddies. Hell, I probably read/watch more hentai than is healthy. Sex appeal on its own is just that, sex appeal. The problem is the specific ways that sex appeal is used and tropefied in anime. It’s voyeuristic, exploitative, unnecessary, disrespectful to characters and audience alike, and tonally dissonant with the story going on around it. And that’s even before you get to the really problematic shit. Sex and eroticism has its place in anime and media at large, but the way that anime uses it rarely ever rises above the level of gross, leering schlock.

Why bring all this up now?

Because I just figured out the one story I know where the fanservice is actually good.

Mage and Demon Queen is an immensely horny series. The female characters are all smokin’ hot babes with various degrees of revealing outfits (and heck, even the men are pretty studly). There are frequent sensual moments and erotic fantasies portrayed in glistening detail. Bawdy jokes and boob references are a regular occurrence. Hell, attraction to the female form is arguably the central driving force of the damn premise! This Webtoon is as lustful for sexy women as any bargain-big isekai harem, maybe even moreso. And yet, instead of feeling gross and off-putting, the fanservice actually adds to my enjoyment of the series.

Yes, it’s respectful and non-exploitative and treats its characters with respect and gives them sexual agency and all that good stuff, but that just explains why the sexy bits don’t make it worse. What makes this fanservice good, actually, is that it feels like an integral part of the characters, their personalities, and how they relate to each other. Mal and Vel’s romance, and plenty of other characters’ subplots, wouldn’t work nearly as well if it wasn’t so sensual, so intimate, so earnestly willing to depict physical attraction, all its beauty and hilarity in equal measure. It makes you laugh at their bawdiness, suck in breath at their tenderness, get wrapped up in the emotions surrounding every touch and caress and makeout session. The fanservice doesn’t just respect the characters, it makes them better, more developed characters. And it makes their stories better and more developed in turn.

(Probably has something to do with the fact it’s made by an actual sapphic lady and not a weird thirty-year-old man trying to appeal to thirteen-year-old boys’ libidos idk)

In other words, I now have yet another reason to demand you all read Mage and Demon Queen. Not only is it a fantastic fantasy comedy/drama with genuine worldbuilding and stakes amidst its adorable romantic shenanigans, it’s the rare anime-adjacent story that actually makes being sexy work in its favor instead of coming off as creepy. It just doesn’t miss, y’all.

[achoonihaachu]

Meet the Writer

Hi there, you can call me Achoo! Here are a few things you might wanna know about me before you follow!

----------

Achoo's info:

Name: Achoo, or u can call me chuu if ur feelin' frisky ;)

Age: 18

Pronouns: She/Her

Zodiac Sign: Leo

MBTI: infp <33

Nationality: Filipino, pipino pride yuhyuh

Likes: sweets, coke zero, anime, music, singing, writing, true crime cases, podcasts,

p i n k

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Fun facts:

- my favorite bois in Obey Me! are Satan and Simeon but they kinda shift around on a weekly basis sooo.. yeah :))

- i plan on becoming a registered nurse someday but if med school doesn't literally kill me, i'll shoot to become a family medicine doctor :)

- i'm actually a really shy person irl but once we get past that awkward "heyy! youuu!... yes we're now talking... yep..." phase, you can guarantee that i'll talk your ear off.

- i swear... a lot.

- i never proofread ;A; im sorry but also i cringe when i reread some of my work (IM VERY HARSH ON MYSELF ;A;) but im getting better :DD i promise that i try to make sure that the work i publish is good enough even to my standards! but please be kind when you see certain grammatical errors <33

- my daddy issues run deep- all the men i simp for are much older than me (bruno madrigal, shouta aizawa... i'm looking at the both of u...)

----------

now, before you follow or even interact w any of my posts DNI if:

- ur a TERF/misogynist/ an asshole who generally does not value women; racist; pedophile/zoophile; sexist; homophobic; xenophobic; u sexualize minors (characters like Luke, kids from MHA, etc); pro-shippers; support behavior like bullying or harrassment

- my work will mainly be 18+, this is an otome game with adults so unless indicated otherwise, dni if ur 17 and below. i will have platonic fics in the future but most will be romance! if ur an ageless blog, please take note of this as well!

----------

keep in mind!

we can always joke around and shit, i'd love to make friends on here bc my irl friends don't really watch anime or play dating games w smexy demons so yeah! don't be afraid to like... hmu sometimes in chat to talk and thirst over demons/angels/shady sorcerers who are as old as time- or maybe you'd like to talk about other things! like attractive dilfs! idk,,, what do ppl talk about- yeah so we can be buddy buddy but note that i'll have boundaries as well! if you want to say something you won't normally say to other people, it's safe to assume you shouldn't say it to me as well <33

that's all for now! stay safe ilya! <33

[vampish-glamour]

first, i want to say that i hope this doesn’t come off angry. i just don’t see a lot of people with your views and i have some questions and thoughts. also, if only for clarity’s sake, i’d like to ask that you humor me with the existence of an ace spectrum.

i’m not sure why you’d think it’s beneficial for asexuality to have one rigid definition (and it seems that may most closely fit with “aro-ace”), and if someone doesn’t fit it exactly, you think they should simply fuck off with the label? A million different people go through life, discover, and think of themselves in a million different ways.

There are a few caveats in different manifestations of asexuality that can describe the different ways people fit idk, as an example very low attraction, because once you start just sticking with more allo-aligned labels, people will start having certain expectations of you, and if you can’t perform that, well, where does that leave a person? Like, in any instance regarding being with a person, you’d likely have to explain yourself, your low sex drive, attraction, interest in the act itself, or what-have-you anyway, but in my own exp, it seems more legitimate and comfortable to have a term rather than word spaghetti with no root.

I just cannot see how theoretically cutting out language that’s already extant and already has comprehensible explanations for any other party concerned could help anyone. And forgive me if that’s not your intent, but claiming asexuals and asexuality are a monolith that can only be a certain way as opposed to existing on a spectrum makes it seem that way. It seems to do more othering and dividing than unifying, and to me, when weighing the similarities and differences between people who are on the ace-spectrum vs. not, it doesn’t make much sense to group people who don’t exactly fit a perfect void of attraction with people who regularly, actively seek out and have sex. There’s space in between two extremes, imo.

To be clear, too: asexuality is an umbrella term for people that use subidentity, I’m not trying to contradict myself by creating the perception that ace subidentities are themselves divisive. That and I think it’s a little late in the game to start caring about how messy and ever-expanding the English language is lol (and that being a purist about it can get dangerous, if that’s a concern). hope ur havin a good one, and thanks if you actually read✌️

Hi! Thank you for first clarifying that you don’t want this to come off as angry, since it’s really hard to tell sometimes through text on a screen.

Just a preface I’m adding after writing this; I used “you”/“your” a lot, and I mean it as a general “you”, not you as in anon.

Right off the bat, I can humour you with the existence of the ace spectrum in the form of the allo spectrum. Asexual means no attraction. You can’t have a spectrum of having no attraction. Allosexual apparently means having attraction, and that you can absolutely have a spectrum of.

I always use the number line example. Think of a number line between 0 and 10, 0 being asexual and 10 being hyper sexual (not a sexuality, but the best opposite to asexual I can think of atm). Why would everything in the middle be considered asexual, when asexual is 0? I would consider everything in the middle varying degrees of attraction. Even if you’re at a 1, you still experience attraction, and aren’t at 0. Therefore you aren’t asexual. This is because “no attraction” is a much more rigidly defined thing than “attraction”.

You can do the same thing with homosexual/heterosexual and bisexual. Say that 0 is either homosexual or heterosexual, and 10 is bisexual. Since homo/hetero are the more rigidly defined sexualities here (exclusively attracted to the same/opposite sex, while bisexual is attracted to both sexes), you’re not homosexual or heterosexual unless you’re at 0. However, even if you’re at a one because you experience more attraction towards one sex than the other, but still like both, you’d be bisexual.

Point is, you can’t have a “spectrum” of something that’s at zero. You can’t have a spectrum of feeling nothing, or a spectrum of exclusively being attracted to a certain sex. But you can have a spectrum of how much attraction you feel/allosexuality, or a spectrum of bisexuality.

The reason I think asexuality needs to be rigidly defined is because words mean things. What’s the point of having asexual as a label if it can mean whatever fits the individual? We don’t see this with heterosexuality. Nobody is trying to define heterosexuality as having a fluid and flexible meaning. How ridiculous does it sound to say;

“I’m on the hetspec! I experience attraction to the opposite sex, but I also experience attraction to the same sex sometimes so that means I’m demiheterosexual or gray-het”.

Ridiculous, right? So why are we doing the exact same thing with asexuality by saying “I experience some attraction, so I’m on the ace spectrum and I’m demisexual, gray ace, etc.”?

So yes, if somebody experiences attraction, they should absolutely fuck off from the asexual label instead of changing its meaning to fit them. I would say the same thing about a homosexuality spectrum or a heterosexuality spectrum. Yes, everyone has different life experiences and all that, but that doesn’t mean they need to be calling themselves something they’re not.

For the expectations issue, you’d likely have to have that conversation with a partner anyways. I think that most people don’t have a clue what half of these labels mean, so saying “I’m gray ace” will mean nothing to them, and you’ll end up having to go “that means that I...”. So why not just start there? Once again, just because this is an experience people have doesn’t mean they need to change a label to suit them.

It’s not really cutting out language, it’s moreso trying to return the language to what it was before a bunch of people changed the meaning to suit their own needs. I raise you the question; do you think I’m claiming all homosexuals are a monolith by saying “homosexual means exclusive attraction to the same sex, and if you don’t fit that definition you’re not homosexual”? Or by saying “homosexuality doesn’t exist on a a spectrum, you’re either gay or you’re not”? Because that’s exactly what I’m doing with asexuality, I’m saying that it means no attraction whatsoever, and if you don’t fit that definition, the label isn’t for you.

Why is it so important for people to be able to force themselves into a label that doesn’t fit? Why is it better to take away the meaning of a word until it practically has no meaning, than to establish a specific meaning so the word can properly describe something? I don’t think it’s dividing at all to preserve the meanings of words to prevent them from becoming utterly meaningless.

Would you say that it doesn’t make sense to group together people with a perfectly 50/50 split attraction to men and women, with people with say a 10/90 split? Because both of those are just as bisexual as the other. Unless you’d rather call the 10/90 demihomosexual or demiheterosexual, we can apply the same logic to allosexuality. If you experience attraction, even if it’s just a little bit compared to somebody who experiences ten times more than you do, you’re still allosexual. You are not asexual unless your attraction is zero. In the same way that you are not homosexual unless your attraction to the opposite sex is at zero.

I have a hard time explaining myself and I feel like my points may be all over the place.

So here’s a summary:

The asexual spectrum exists, but it’s actually the allosexual spectrum. This is because you cannot have a spectrum of feeling no attraction, but you can have a spectrum of feeling attraction

Sexuality needs to be rigidly defined to hold weight and meaning. Otherwise you’re throwing around words that mean nothing. When somebody says they’re asexual, do they mean they experience no attraction whatsoever, neither romantic or sexual, or do they mean they only feel sexual attraction towards people they form a bond with? We don’t know. When you widen the definition of a word so broadly, it ultimately becomes meaningless.

Homosexuality does not exist on a spectrum of some attraction to the same sex, some to the opposite sex, and heterosexuality does not either. We recognize that as bisexuality. So why should asexuality exist on a spectrum of experiencing varying degrees of attraction, but not always zero, when that should logically be recognized as allosexual?

There is no reason for people to need to change the meaning of a word to suit their needs. If the word doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit.

I hope that sort of explains my reasoning! I have a hard time properly getting my thoughts into words, so I’m worried that it makes perfect sense to me in my head but the words I’m writing don’t communicate my thoughts. If that’s the case, I’m hoping the summary helps. 😄

[ayyyez]

Neji x male reader please please please!!! SFW or NSFW I just need some gay out there 😭

a/n: I’m choosing to bump this up the queue because it’s long overdue let’s be real! Also idk if I’ve ever mentioned it in my headcanons (at this point i’ve written so much i’ve forgotten what I have put out there) I headcanon as Neji as bi with more of an attraction to men and a little less but still there attraction to women. But yes let’s get onto these gay Neji headcanons because YES!  warnings: the smutty stuff is under the cut :) 

sfw:

-It starts off as Neji appreciating or admiring you. In all relationships for Neji he needs to be friends with the person first. But at the same time it’s never really friendship because Neji just feels so deeply about you?? It’s intense. The feelings he gets around you makes his heart beat fast and the adrenaline to course through his veins. 

-Feels comfortable enough around you to show you his softer side and opens up to easily. You’ve got to read between the lines, understand what it means for him to do this because oh wow he’s falling in love. 

-He’s afraid he is taking advantage of your friendship because of the way he feels. It makes him frustrated with himself. You have to push through that, make him spend time with you when he tries avoiding you and his feelings. The second you kiss him his mind will clear up. Well, of those anxious thoughts anyway, once you date they’ll be replaced with new ones.

-Neji is bad at intimacy yet he craves it. Start soft with the affection. Patting his head, letting your hand slide down his face with a gentle caress. Take his hand with a smile before releasing it again. The transition from friendship to relationship takes time and effort from both of you. 

-Kick his ass in sparring and he will fall deeper in love. Pin him down and he will blush profusely. Flustered Neji 101. If you can’t kick his ass then he’ll smile at you trying. Will be really kind but firm if you lose to him in a fight. Will blush more if you tease him when he loses. 

-Hug him from behind and he will melt. If you are tall enough, rest your head on his shoulder and he will melt against you. If you are short then press your face into his back and he will shiver. You have to keep your arms tight around him otherwise he will cut it short. He doesn’t want to cut it short but it’s just his instinct when it comes to intimacy. 

-Isn’t much about PDA but sling and arm over his shoulders and he won’t complain. He will grow hotter by the second though and hyperaware of your presence. 

-Trips to the bathhouse together and sharing. It’s the best way to wind down after training or back to back missions. You can feel his gaze on you from time to time. He’s trying not to stare but oh he just loves you? It’s a rare time when he gets to relax and reflect and he is just so thankful for you? Feels he doesn’t deserver you? Flick water at him and he’ll snap out of his daze. Tuck some hair behind his ear and he will melt. 

the smut under the cut

-When it comes to the first time (and most of the times) Neji will likely be more submissive and inclined to bottom. It just doesn’t take much for your touches to make him melt. Everything is just so hot and you’re touching him and oh yeah he won’t last long first time. But yeah over all vers.

-You have to ease him into the sexual stuff. He won’t go far at first beyond a make out session. He lives for making out. Switching from being in your lap, arms around your neck while you suck at the skin on his neck. Get’s hard instantly. It’s too much. Then there’s the times he wants to hold you and push you down, the heat of the moment taking over. First couple times he still pulls away. 

-One day this leads to a particularly heat dry-humping session because the friction just gets to Neji. He can’t help bucking his hips in time with yours feeling the heat of your erection against his. He is lost, it’s too much and he cums clothed. It’s hot seeing how becomes undone beneath you and it makes the two of you crave more. 

-He hates the attention being just on him. He can’t handle it. The day you offer to give him a handjob he complies but tenses up once you start stroking him. He insists on doing it for you too and you end up doing it together. Can’t look at you when he cums because he is embarrassed. Feels bad for cumming on your hand, have to assure him it’s fine and clean the both of you up. 

-Worship his ass okay. He get’s so flustered he hates (LOVES) it. Bite his cheeks, eat him out, finger him during blowjobs and he cums 10x quicker. He’s sensitive. Insists on facing away from you in the early days of ass eating he is afraid he will come straight away. As time goes on and he gets cocky he will edge you on though. 

-The day he rides you and dominates you is a good day indeed. Very good at that slow, drawn out rolling of the hips that has you seeing stars. One hand is on your chest while the other is on your thigh. He insists on doing all the work but you can’t help meeting him with your own thrusts.

-The day he tops you is also a very good day. He is so gentle and slow it’s almost maddening but Neji is soft when it comes to sex you can’t expect anything else. Takes his time fingering you and opening up your ass. Does this thing where he ghosts his fingers over your erection every now and again just to get you more worked up. The second he enters you though he loses his mind. 

-Almost came straight away, the first time he was inside you. You had to force yourself not to move because he was barely breathing. He got through it though and ended up holding out for a lot longer than he thought. 

-For every blowjob you give him he wants to give you double the amount. He’s not competitive he just feels like he owes you. Wants to make you feel good. Is a little awkward at first and you need to verbally guide him through it. He picks it up fast and soon as you coming undone. Don’t fuck his mouth unless you warn him or he will not be happy. Hair tugging is okay but never too hard. 

-Over all Neji finds sex very intimate. He can’t always put into words how he feels about you but the touches and way he shudders speak more of his feelings than anything. Hold him close and give him cuddles after.  

[mint-chocolatey-chip]

hi im the op of that post u rbed. im down to answer any questions you might have. im not saying to separate lesbianism from women at all. im saying that not every lesbian is a woman so referring to lesbians as women as a whole excludes lesbians who arent women. that doesnt mean stuff like the double venus symbol/the term wlw/the phrase lesbians and bi women are wrong. im just saying dont generalize an entire groups gender based on their sexuality. (1/2)

lesbians are a diverse group and all of us deserve to be included in discussions about lesbianism and positivity posts about lesbianism so i was just asking people to use more inclusive language. 2) i definitely include amab people who identify as lesbians. 3) bigender nonbinary people are still nonbinary. even if theyre comfortable w the term man they still aren't a binary man therefore they can absolutely be a lesbian. (2/3) (sorry, i underestimated how many asks this would take)

and 4) idk about the gay men thing. i personally have seen people talk about how nonbinary people who are exclusively attracted to men and nby people should absolutely be allowed in spaces for gay men, however i'm not that involved in the mlm community seeing as i'm a lesbian. all i can say about this topic is that the reason i'm bringing nonbinary lesbians up is bc im a nonbinary lesbian myself and i'm tired of being invalidated (3/3)

Thank you for being civil despite my challenging your post, I really appreciate it! Like I said I am conflicted about all of this, because I do understand not identifying as a woman while being a lesbian on an individual level. And I also think it’s important to consider diversity when talking about a community. Plus, I also know that “who is a lesbian” is something that unfortunately varies between people. I’ve heard the definition of lesbian being:

Women exclusively attracted to women

Binary women exclusively attracted to binary women

Cis women exclusively attracted to cis women

AFAB people exclusively attracted to AFAB people

Non-men attracted exclusively to non-men

Anyone except binary men who are attracted to anyone except binary men (this includes nonbinary men and people who are both binary men AND nonbinary or women)

Women attracted to women

Non-men who are NOT attracted to men (attraction to women not required)

Women who chose not to date men

There might be more but I can’t remember them at the moment. Some are very fringe and I’ve only seen it once or twice.

My point with that is that really no matter how you talk about lesbians you’re going to alienate some people who identify as lesbians. So like:

Lesbians are women (i personally include the usage of “women who love women” in this because it is literally calling lesbians women)

Lesbians love women (again, wlw)

Lesbians are not men

Lesbians are AFAB

Lesbians are binary women

And so on...

I get how a post that says something like LESBIANS ARE WOMEN can be alienating to lesbians who aren’t women but identify somewhere close to womanhood, but I fail to see how the term “wlw” is much better than that.

And I have to mention bi women here too. People like to act as if bi women are worlds different than lesbians, and yes the two groups do have different experiences, but they overlap a LOT. Lesbians are made to feel like they aren’t real women because of heteronormativity, but bi women are as well. There is a dimension missing (lack of attraction to men) but being attracted to other women is definitely something that can make a woman feel like she is doing gender wrong. And unfortunately, there is no way to separate bi women from the term woman like there is with “lesbian.” Bi women are sort of forced to either embrace their label as women or reject it entirely and go with nonbinary — you can’t say “don’t generalize bi women as being women!!!” Even though bi women are just as capable of having difficulty identifying as women as lesbians. But we still recognize that there is a difference between a wlw who doesn’t identify as a woman and an agender person. And even that seems like an impossibility — a woman who doesn’t identify as a woman.

I just think that if we’re going to start setting rules such as “don’t refer to lesbians as women” then we need to go all the way and examine the phrase “women who love women” plus recognize that bi women are in this struggle as well. Truly, I think it is easier for nonbinary wlw to just accept that they are women in a sense, because otherwise they can’t be women who love women, and not get offended when someone refers to wlw as women (which is literally what happens by using the phrase wlw).

And perhaps accepting that they’re NOT women/wlw could be easier as well, being a nonbinary person who loves women is a beautiful thing and we would love to welcome you into the trixic label. Honestly, I think a lot more people would identify as nblw if we were more visible and accepted.

[bisluthq]

Again, Josh is good looking, smart, sporty, funny, into partying, and charming // I can't believe that in 2021 one person (apart from Karlie) defines Josh K as a charming man, a good looking man that many people want , amazing that only in this blog there are anons "thirsty" for him, isn't it enough all of you idolizing Joe A as if this white man were the king of sex and as a panty wrecker?? Stop pushing these basic men, especially Josh K who doesn't even seem to take a shower

I’m like genuinely perplexed by your ask because I deadass called him basic and boring several times. Idk what you want in a man lol but as someone who… um… doesn’t want one… I use rational thoughts about it and assess based on objective criteria, not indictments of people’s taste.

Josh isn’t a male model, but he’s never claimed to be. He’s a (successful and very rich) businessman. He’s better looking than a ton of rich men, Bezos and Zuck and tbh my fellow countryman Elon spring to mind. He’s widely regarded as smart. People who’ve met him say he’s charming and funny. Idk what more to say. He’s a regular fucking tech bro, and a very fucking successful one, and LOTS OF WOMEN JUST WANT A NICE TECH BRO and there is NOTHING wrong with that. You don’t get to be the arbitrator of taste and be like “lmao fuck tech bros” because there’s a queue of women willing to do just that for dudes who are LESS OF A CATCH (family is a whole other story).

I like Joe A’s personality and his movies, and EVERY PERSON WHO EVER MEETS HIM BUT ESPECIALLY WOMEN ATTRACTED TO MEN LOSE IT. That’s just… reality. You don’t have to like it, you’re allowed to be like, “eh smarmy litbois annoy me” but again, you’re not the arbitrator of taste. Lots of people already have and many others would love to fuck him.

Also Taylor Swift has a body count that puts mine to shame tbh and she found this an otherworldly experience so I’m taking her word for that.

YOU CAN LIKE WHOEVER. The Rock is an objectively great looking man, rocking body, great personality, many to most women attracted to men would DIE to get a chance to be in bed with him. Does that mean EVERY BLOG needs to be exalting the values of The Rock?

I would fuck Timmy C. Do I go off about it? Honestly no because his personality is trash, he doesn’t know about safe sex, and he’s kinda weird looking. I would STILL DO IT, and so would many other people. I’m not out here claiming otherwise. I’m also not going to Timmy blogs and trying to tell them “yes I would absolutely love to have this man eat me out and I do find him talented but ffs he’s an annoying twerp why are you running a blog about him?” Because that’d be a bizarre argument to pose to the blogger.

This all applies to women to. There are MANY people, many gay women too, who don’t see the appeal of Taylor Swift and certainly not as a sexual object of desire. Does that… impact empirical reality where weird men on Reddit have whole subs dedicated to her body parts and my anons and I talk about how much we fantasize about her and Lizzo writes self-insert fanfics while drunk about her? No it doesn’t. Is Taylor Swift empirically the sexiest woman alive? Honestly no, she’s pretty weird, but she does it for me.

Thirst is like that.

Stop judging so much, focus on whatever you enjoy wanking off to, and don’t come with a holier than thou attitude explaining to me that a basic boring man is boring. Of course he is, but so WHAT? He’s still probably more interesting than half the dudes you’re gonna suck off in your lifetime so 🤷🏻‍♀️💀

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark  /  remove it with the kiss of a knife  /  even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.