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toxicanonymity · 1 year

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raider masterlist

dark!Joel x f!reader | updated: April 11, 2024: tired

moodboard by @milla-frenchy 🖤 a rb will not stay up-to-date.

SUMMARY: He's a bad guy, and you're his good girl. Joel saves you from bad men, but claims you for himself and takes you. You're his, and he won't let anyone forget it. His persona starts to crack, but he gets even more possessive. You're his world, and he'll do anything to keep you. Emotional slow burn. WARNINGS: 18+ canon-typical violence, noncon via implicit threat, evolving to enthusiastic dubious consent (stockholm syndrome), depraved use of praise and pet names (sweet pea, baby), unsafe P in V, exhibitionism, extreme possessiveness, dark fluff (🖤), angst, and more. NO USE of Y/N, No physical description of reader.

Spotify: raider, sweet pea (smut) Optional reference: trailer floor plan

main fic

Raider: (Mar 24, 2023) - He "saves" you, then has his way with you on an old mattress. Joel POV

Failed Rescue (Apr 8 - 1.9k) Your bf tries to save you. Joel makes him watch then keeps you.

Stash House (Apr 11 - 850)- Joel takes you to the stash house and shows everyone you're his. Wash Bin 🖤 (Aug 27, 1k) Shooting Practice Drabble(Jul 28, 1.6k)-

Failed Escape (Apr 23, 4k)- Joel saves you from FEDRA, bathes you, amd edges you.

J. Miller (May 19, 2k) - Joel labels you with his switchblade and claims all your holes. dark.

Home (May 29, 1.3k) - Joel makes dinner at home, cleans your chest, and tucks you in. 🖤

Company (Jun 9, 2.2k) - Joel brings home a girl to distract his men. dark. Extra Scene - angst.

Close (Jul 3, 2.7k) - close call with other raiders. You-almost-died sex, and later, tender sex 🖤

Gun Hug (Jul 31, 3.7k) - Joel traps 2 bad guys with some help and kills them while you. . .🖤 If you want him (1.5k) - he holds out to see🖤

Night Air (Aug 30, 3.5k) - Joel is brutal with a bad guy and his POV reveals some feelings. 🖤 Bonus blurb, wakeup pwp drabble

Hunger (Sep 29, 7k) - Joel takes you on a trek, comforts you, kills a guy, and gives you head. 🖤 He's only human (1.1k) - 👱‍♂️Carter POV, overlaps w/ hunger.

Bodies (Dec 3, 7.8k) - Strangers show up and cause a shitstorm, but Joel takes a big step. 🖤 Raider POV

No cliffhangers if you read through Bodies.

more smut, dark fluff, etc ⬇️

drabbles, imagines, hypotheticals

🔥 explicit smut

Trying to use him (800) (riding) 🔥

House meeting drabble 🖤

You get sick at night drabble 🖤

He goes down on you (oral f) 🔥

sweet pea by herself

Apple picking 🖤

If you touched his scar

if men had hurt you in the past

if you got your period 🖤

magazine and makeup 🖤

yoga pwp drabble piv 1k 🔥

boots drabble (oral f receiving) 🔥

graveyard blurb (spice)

if you bit his arm drabble (p in v) 🔥

If you snapped (emotional spice) 🖤

face sitting on sofa 🔥

If you sketched Joel and Jack

being bad, looking good (2.8k, smut) 🔥

Van ride drabble (800) 🖤

sleeping beast (<1k), PWP 🔥

If Joel was sick 🖤

If you were annoying

cutting his hair 🖤

waking up on top 🔥

✨tired 🖤

if you can handle it, there's non-canon carter smut 👱‍♂️

Note: not all content is linked here. Asks can lead to lore and previews or hints of future plot points, etc.

Headcanons (not written like fic)

If another man has his way (Q&A)

dacryphilia - evolved update (Q&A)

if you had scars or tattoos (Q&A)

👱‍♂️raider carter Qs, face claim (Q&A)

Analysis (#raider!analysis)

why does he keep her

why did he snap (in Company extra scene)

his eye contact

his affection / feelings, trajectory 🖤

falling for sweet pea

his self hate and her feelings

the dog and joel's concern for you

✨awareness of growth / why keep her

Raider Tommy

Birds of prey (2.6k)

Art, etc.

Mattress by esquire magazine

Stitches by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

collage by @milla-frenchy

lose control edit by @survivingandenduring

🌸 sweet pea mood boards by various

6 month collage by milla-frenchy

6 month cake by not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

🌸 sweet pea cosplay from night air

👱‍♂️carter mood board by @romana-after-dark

pts. 1-3 rb mood boards by @iamasaddie

night air gif by not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

raider/sweet pea collage by milla

sweet pea's pup by @dark-scape

want it that bad gif by @dark-scape

Bodies gif by not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

👱‍♂️carter mood board by milla-frenchy

Then and now drawing by @romana-after-dark

Raider/sweet pea drawings by @lumoverheaven

our stars moodboard by milla

raiding edits by gasolinerainbowpuddles

under the anger by iamasaddie

✨🎥 Trailer (video) by @carminepoison

✨ birthday sketch by @lumoverheaven

If I've left yours off please lmk I prob tagged improperly

Back to MAIN Masterlist

🖤 If mine or another writer's work has inspired yours, it's always better late than never to share / shout-out 🖤

#raider!Joel Miller #dark fluff #stockholm syndrome #raider!Joel #dark!Joel Miller #dark!Joel #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal masterlist #toxic masterlist #joel miller smut #joel miller masterlist #pedro pascal smut #joel miller series #toxicanonymity ☠️#possessive!joel #possessive!joel miller #joel miller x female reader #stockholm syndrome fic #raider joel miller

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simdertalia · 9 months

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🍄 ACNH Mushroom Set 🍄

27 items | Sims 4, Base game compatible.

*The mushroom seat reminded me of Little Miss Muffet, so we're having a couple spiders with this set (also they could be useful for the Simstober challenge in a few months, which I get very excited about!)

The functional lamp in this set does not have edited vertex paint, because my vertex paintbrush is not working properly. If any creator out there wants to add it because they like the item and want to do that, please do, and please let me know. I would update the file with your fix and credits to you.

Use the scale up & down feature on your keyboard to make the items larger or smaller to your liking. If you have a non-US keyboard, it may be different keys depending on which alphabet it uses.

Always suggested: bb.objects ON, it makes placing items much easier. For further placement tweaking, check out the TOOL mod.

Type “animal crossing mushroom” into the search query in build mode to find quickly. You can always find items like this, just begin typing the title and it will appear.

As always, please let me know if you have any issues! Happy Simming! 💗

Update Aug 19th 2023: The wall tarantula has been remade and the file is now updated. If you are having an error pop up when you try to place the wall tarantula, just replace the old file with the new one!

📁 Download all or pick & choose (SFS, No Ads): HERE

📁 Alt Mega Download (still no ads): HERE

📁 DL on Patreon

Will be public on August 13th, 2023

Happy Simming! ✨ Some of my sets will be early access from now on. If you like my work, please consider supporting me:

★ Patreon 🎉 ❤️ |★ Ko-Fi ☕️ ❤️

Thank you for reblogging ❤️❤️❤️

@sssvitlanz @maxismatchccworld @mmoutfitters @coffee-cc-finds @itsjessicaccfinds @gamommypeach @stargazer-sims-finds @khelga68 @suricringe @vaporwavesims @mystictrance15 @public-ccfinds

#s4cc #ts4cc #sims 4 maxis match #sims 4 mushroom #sims 4 cottage #sims 4 spider #sims 4 chair #sims 4 object #sims 4 functional object #sims 4 jar #sims 4 jars #sims 4 table #sims 4 bag #sims 4 clock #sims 4 owl #sims 4 basket #sims 4 wreath #simdertalia

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leviathanbday · 1 year

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We're happy to present The Long Anime Title Generator!

Take a deep breath and reblog with your anime title. Would you watch the anime with Levi?

🔸 Text version under the cut 🔸

YOUR BIRTH DAY 1-4: The Day 5-8: Mystery: 9-12: That Time 13-17: Once Upon A Time 18-21: Help! 22-25: In My Other Life 26-31: Last Night I Dreamt That

YOUR BIRTH MONTH Jan: I Died, Got Reincarnated And Feb: My Friends Decided To Play Ouija And Mar: I Was Sent To Another Dimension And Apr: The Girl of My Dreams Asked Me Out But I Rejected Her Because May: The World Was Ending And Jun: My Long Lost Friend Reappeared And Now Jul: My Future Self Traveled Back In Time, Now Aug: I Was Cursed By A Witch And Sep: I Lost All My Memories, Now Oct: I Was Possessed By An Evil Spirit And Nov: I Went To Heaven To Fight God, Now Dec: Senpai Finally Noticed Me But We Can't Be Together Because

YOUR BATTERY PERCENTAGE 1-10: I Became Best Friends With 11-20: My Boyfriend Turned Into 21-30: I'm Slowly Becoming 31-40: I Desperately Want To Kiss 41-50: My Girlfriend Is In Love With 51-60: My Biggest Enemy Is 61-70: I Fell In Love With 71-80: I Am Pregnant With 81-90: Every Time I Look In The Mirror I See 91-100: The Government Wants To Arrest Me For Adopting

YOUR SHIRT COLOR black: A Sexy Ghost blue: One Of My Clones green: A Tyrant King yellow: An Anxious Werewolf beige: A Vegan Vampire purple: A Cute Demon gray: An Alien brown: A Princess pink: A Worm white: My Evil Self orange: The Villain red: An Octopus Plush multi: You

#leviathanbday2023 #obey me #leviathan #long anime title generator #obey me collab #obey me game #obey me shall we date

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warizoh · 4 months

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My Top Posts in 2023:

1,704 notes Sep 11 2023

1,923 notes May 10 2023

2,381 notes Aug 7 2023

3,457 notes May 20 2023

My #1 post of 2022

3,805 notes Jul 16 2023

Thanks, everyone, for the support! Even though my camera broke down only a few month into 2023 I've had more reactions than any previous year. I've loved reading your comments and hashtags 🐸 Will hopefully launch a store and get a camera in order this year... May 2024 be beautiful and nourishing for all of us.

#my photos #my tumblr 2023 year in review #custom #photographers on tumblr #tumblr2023 #year in review #naturecore #nature photography #naturewave #plantwave #forestcore #sweden #forest #greenery #cottagecore #dreamcore #original photography #green aesthetic

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heroesriseandfall · 1 year

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I think Jason and Tim may have canonically been in the same school grade before Jason died. Not because Tim skipped any grades, but because Jason was behind two grades. This would also mean Jason died before he ever made it into high school.

Based on what I have extrapolated from post-Crisis comics, this seems like a working timeline:

Here is a calendar view with arbitrarily chosen years and other details added in for reference (if you can’t see it very well, here’s the spreadsheet)

Below is the math + sources (all based on post-Crisis comics)

Before being adopted by Bruce, Batman #410 says Jason was a 5th grade dropout

(sidenote: Jason said his mom was sick for over a year and she died in the most recent February before Bruce met Jason in Batman #408-409)

By the time of Batman Annual 12 (published only a few months before Jason died)*, Jason was in 7th grade

His deathdate is given as April 27th in Batman Annual 25 and The Batman Files, which is during the school year

So he was probably in 7th grade when he died

Jason was most likely 14** when he died, and his Aug 16 birthday is before the New Jersey cut-off date of October 1st

Tim was most likely 12 when Jason died, since they’re almost exactly 2 years apart

Usually, 7th graders are 12-13 years old

So Jason was 2 years older than typical for 7th grade, and he is 2 years older than Tim

Tim started 9th grade/high school at age 14 (Robin II: Joker's Wild), over a year after Jason's death

14-15 is typical starting age for 9th grade, so Tim is clearly in the usual age-range for his grade

So Tim would be in 7th grade when Jason died. Same as Jason.

* Publishing dates don’t always match up with where things fit in a timeline. Especially since annuals aren’t always clearly positioned in related to the rest of the comic’s issues. In the annual, Jason does mention KGBeast, who he’d fought recently in the then-current Batman run.

My default is to presume things are meant to be set generally near other comics published the same time unless I see an indication otherwise. There isn’t much indication here—Jason’s age really isn’t mentioned at all during his actual run as Robin IIRC, we have to extrapolate from later comics.

**My reasons for Jason being 14 and Tim being 12 when he dies are long and complicated, but for a brief overview:

We know they’re almost exactly two years apart because Jason turned 18 on Aug 16th in Detective Comics #790, and just a while before that, Tim had turned 16 on July 19th in Robin Vol. 2 #116. That would make them around 1 year 11 months apart. The death certificate in The Batman Files says Jason was 15 when he died on April 27. However, Jay dying in April and Tim being 13 when his training starts a few months later (implied to be late summer/early fall, in Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying; age 13 confirmed again in Batman #448) and then December and more than 6 months passing before Tim is finally said to be 14 starting high school (Robin II: Joker’s Wild), and then having to stuff Tim’s Robin training, Knightfall, Contagion, Legacy, and Aftershocks into all being while he’s 14…all make it mathematically unreasonable for Tim & Jason to be anything other than 14 and 12 when Jason dies. Tim must turn 13 after Jason’s death, right before he’s introduced, so that he has time to become Robin etc. before he turns 14. Jason being 15 really doesn't work well when comparing to other comics, so I think it makes more sense to say they for some reason rounded up his age to 15 since he would have been turning 15 in a few months. With this timeline, Jason would be roughly 14 years, 8 months, and 11 days old when he died. There IS a comic (Batman #416) that implies Jason was Robin for longer than this would require, but the timeline for that makes my head hurt and it was contradicted by Nightwing: Year One anyway. There’s also the case of Dick’s age compared to them, which bitimdrake has already gone into depth about and also makes it less likely Jason was 15 since Dick was 19 when he became Nightwing (Batman #416) and at most 21 after Tim already became Robin (Deathstroke Annual 1, 1992). TL;DR: Jason could, theoretically, have been 15 when he died, but it makes the timeline so wonky to do that and 14 almost 15 works way better.

My personal headcanon is Jason drops out of 5th grade at age 10, probably due to homelife issues. Catherine Todd gets sick, and a year or more passes of Jason not being in school while she’s sick. It’s not entirely clear when Jason becomes homeless, though Batman #426 says he “disappeared” (according to his old neighbor) after his mom died to avoid getting put in a state home. Catherine dies in the closest February to when Dick quits being Robin/gets fired at age 19. Then Jason gets adopted at age 12, turns 13, and goes into 6th grade right after. This would match up perfectly for Jason to be in 7th grade by the time he’s 14, rather than 9th grade like most other 14 year olds.

(Which, at that point, especially when Jason had such good grades, why not let him skip to be in his own age group? idk, maybe Bruce or Jason or Alfred had particular thoughts about Jason continuing where he left off, maybe Gotham schools have particular feelings about that, who knows)

I do want to note, I think it is very unlikely Tim and Jason attended the same school in pre-Crisis canon. Jason’s school for 7th grade wasn’t specified, though in Batman and Robin Vol. 1 #25 he says he went to Thomas Wayne Middle School for 3 months (why only 3 months??? eerily that is the same amount of time between a spring semester starting & Jason’s April deathdate...an implication Jason switched schools or was homeschooled at Wayne Manor for a bit??).

EDIT: I've recently looked it up and realized some schools in the US do include 5th grade as middle school. So if Jason dropped out of 5th grade, at Thomas Wayne Middle School, three months after starting there, that could be an explanation for why he said that.

It seems like (but not totally sure) Jason probably went to public school, which would match up with Robin: Year One showing Dick go to a public middle school, too.

On the other hand, we know for sure that Tim attended various private boarding schools throughout his childhood (as stated in Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying, Robin III: Cry of the Huntress, etc.) so I just really don’t think they were at the same schools. If you wanted to, though, you could easily make them go to the same schools in fanfic so they could be in the same classes.

#jason todd #tim drake #batfam #robin jason todd #dc comics #dc continuity #heroesriseandfall #post crisis #robin ii

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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 month

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Hey Steph,

I am in the mood for some really long fics. Preferably not AU as I find those hard to get into. Although, like always, I am open to your all your suggestions.

Loves Seven.

Hi Lovely!!

Ahhh, I've a TONNE of long fics, and a lot of them AREN'T AUs! I'm gonna use your ask as an excuse to post a new list, and please check out the other pages linked below! I label if a fic is an AU or not, so just skip over those if you're not up for them! Enjoy!

NOVEL LENGTH FICS: 50 to 100K Pt 4

See also:

Novella Length Fics: 20 to 25K (Oct 2020)

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K Pt 2 (July 2022)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 2 (May 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 3 (Jul 2022)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 2 (Aug 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 3 [MFL’s] (Dec 2020)

Long Domestic Johnlock (50K+ w.) (March 2023)

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Long S3/Post-S3 Fics (20K+ w.) [Apr 2020]

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 4: 50K+ Words Pt. 1

Anxious / Worried Sherlock Pt 2 (Over 20K w.)

Long Pining Fics (50K+) [March 2023]

G,T, & M-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt. 3 (20K+)

Genius is a Star Whose Light (is Soon to Sink in Endless Night) by LoloLolly (M, 51,812 w., 11 Ch. || Canon Compliant Through TFP/S4 Is Canon, Aftermath of Serbia, Alternating POV, Established / New Relationship, Parentlock with Rosie, Explicit Torture, Mentions of Sherlock’s PTSD, Mentions of Human Trafficking, References to Child Abuse, Violence, Kidnapping, Captivity, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Case Fic, BAMF / Soldier John, Sherlock Whump, Mycroft and John Work Together, Marriage Proposal, Autistic Sherlock, Lestrade Finds Out, Polyglot Sherlock) – Sherlock had buried the past. Shut Serbia away in the attic of his mind palace. Muddy footprints at a heinous crime scene, however, have led him right back to old enemies. And right back to captivity. For God’s sake, Mycroft. Part 2 of the Earthly Pomp (Is But a Dream) series

Spare Parts by Raina_at (E, 63,497 w., 10 Ch. || 24th Century / Futurism AU || Post TRF, Pre-TRF Relationship, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Estrangement, Reconciliation, Science Fiction, Reunion, Nightmares, Angry John, Cybernetic John, Emotional Discussions / Heart to Heart, POV John, Scars, Past Drug Use, Forehead Touching, Emotional Lovemaking, Kissing, Apologies, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission, BAMF John, Bed Sharing, Top Sherlock) – Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them. Part 1 of Realigning Gravity

Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

Fade To Black by twistedthicket1 (M, 93,389 w., 29 Ch. || Split Personality Disorder / DID, Action, Romance, Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Fluff and Angst, Baskerville, Human Experimentation, PTSD, Implied Self Harm, Trauma Amnesia, Past Child Sexual Abuse, Protective Sherlock, Smoking, Meddling Mycroft, Past Victor/Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past, First Kiss/Time) – John Watson believes one day he'll just fade. That he'll drown in the black spaces of his mind, and that one day he will no longer exist. It's always been like this, the dark spots marking out moments in his life he can't remember. Where for just a moment he's someone else. Having a Dissociative identity disorder, he can't even be entirely sure he's really who he says he is. Then he meets Sherlock Holmes. A brilliant detective who when he looks at you can read your entire life story. John is immediately fascinated and afraid, half-wondering if maybe Sherlock can see the other personalities in him and half terrified of the thought of him finding out. Becoming his flatmate seems at once to be a wonderful and horrible idea. Yet as John's Blackouts become more and more severe and his other personalities begin to truly awaken and show themselves with Sherlock's help, the two soon discover that sometimes even the kindest person can harbour a demon best left untouched inside of them. Because not all of John's other personalities play nicely and some may be hiding secrets best left undisturbed...

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #long fics #my fic recs #50 to 100K

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here-be-tangents · 5 months

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If I were an ASOIAF book, what would my title be?

Birth Month:

Jan = The Blood of

Feb = A Tryst with

Mar = The Tower of

Apr = The Farce of

May = A Sword for

Jun = A Time for

Jul = A Promise of

Aug = A Season for

Sep = The Mists of

Oct = The Shadow of

Nov = A Pyre for

Dec = The Music of

Birth Date:

1 = Fools

2 = Fortune

3 = Steel

4 = Snow

5 = Crypts

6 = Cradles

7 = Truth

8 = Hope

9 = Ashes

10 = Skulls

11 = Roses

12 = Ravens

13 = Revelry

14 = Madness

15 = Sacrifice

16 = Tears

17 = Stars

18 = Knights

19 = Mystery

20 = Memory

21 = Dreams

22 = Sorrow

23 = Widows

24 = Princes

25 = Queens

26 = Carrion

27 = Beasts

28 = Krakens

29 = Wolves

30 = Dawn

31 = Night

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #working on something BDG-related and his Castlevania chart inspired me

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loving-n0t-heyting · 9 months

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what are the negative effects of common atypical antipsychotics?

> First, the adverse effects of antipsychotic medications are widely attested and very serious. They fall into at least two classes: cognitive impairments, and extrapyramidal disorders (such as akathisia, parkinsonism, and tardive dyskinesia). Both are concerning.

> Increasing evidence, both anecdotal and studied, suggests that antipsychotics frequently impair cognitive functioning. This is often described by those who have suffered from it as “zombie-like”, or as though they lacked the capacity for abstract thought [1]. There is a large empirical literature giving rigorous backing to these informal reports (see [2] for an overview and bibliography); more specifically, much of this literature suggests that antipsychotics can seriously impair procedural learning [3] [4] [9]. These empirical findings in the scientific literature, while plentiful and robust, seem not to have fully percolated yet into clinical practice.

> In addition to their potential adverse cognitive effects, antipsychotic medications are well-known to carry the risk of painful, disabling, and potentially damaging motor (“extrapyramidal”) disorders. These include akathisia (commonly described by those to experience it as “torture”), parkinsonism (a collection of symptoms similar to those involved in Parkinson’s Disease), and tardive dyskinesia (a chronic and unremitting motor disorder resulting from long-term use of antipsychotics) [5] [6] [7] [8]. While these conditions are common generally among users of antipsychotics (for those taking haloperidol—a commonly prescribed antipsychotic—extrapyramidal symptoms may present at or above fifty percent [10]), there is evidence they may be especially likely and severe, even at low doses, for autistic people [11] [12].

[1] Medical Xpress, “Antipsychotic meds prompt zombie-like state among patients” 5 Feb 2015 https://medicalxpress.com/news/2015-02-antipsychotic-meds-prompt-zombie-like-state.html

[2] Sarah Constantin, “Antipsychotics Might Cause Cognitive Impairment” 14 Jan 2018 https://www.sarah-constantin.org/blog/2018/1/14/antipsychotics-might-cause-cognitive-impairment

[3] Psychopharmacology, “Procedural learning in schizophrenia after 6 months of double-blind treatment with olanzapine, risperidone, and haloperidol” Sep 2003 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12827347/

[4] Neuropsychopharmacology, “Effects of risperidone on procedural learning in antipsychotic-naive first-episode schizophrenia” Jan 2009 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18536701/

[5] Missd, “The Agony of Akathisia” 6 Dec 2015 https://missd.co/256/

[6] National Commission on Correctional Health Care, “Akathisia: A Mysterious Medication-Induced Movement Disorder” 19 Jul 2021 https://www.ncchc.org/akathisia-a-mysterious-medication-induced-movement-disorder/

[7] Cleveland Clinic, “Parkinsonism” https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22815-parkinsonism#symptoms-and-causes

[8] National Library of Medicine, “Tardive Dyskenisia” 16 Aug 2022 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK448207/

[9] Journal of Psychiatric Research, “Effects of haloperidol and risperidone on psychomotor performance relevant to driving ability in schizophrenic patients compared to healthy controls” Jan 2005 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15504428/

[10] MedicineNet, “Side effects of Haldol (haloperidol)” https://www.medicinenet.com/side_effects_of_haloperidol/side-effects.htm#haldol_haloperidol_side_effects_list_for_healthcare_professionals

[11] Spectrum News, “The missing generation” 9 Dec 2015 https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/the-missing-generation/

[12] Journal of Neurodevelopmental Disorders, “High rates of parkinsonism in adults with autism” 30 Aug 2015 https://jneurodevdisorders.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s11689-015-9125-6

#from a thing I wrote on this a while back #ask #torschlusspanikattack

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louisupdates · 6 months

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Louis Tomlinson ‘Faith in the Future’ World Tour 2023

By: Steve Jennings (Photos and Text) | 11 AUG 2023

English singer-songwriter and former One Direction band member Louis Tomlinson is back out on the road in support of his second album, Faith in the Future. For his second world tour, he’s playing to an ever-growing audience—the crowd I witnessed could not get enough of him as evident from the adoring fans singing along to every word he sang. We spoke to Production Designer, Programmer, and Director Tom Taylor of TANCK about the tour.

Designer Tom Taylor started working on the current tour as the new album’s promo materials and aesthetics came to light. Taylor says it’s a more rugged and asymmetrical look than they’ve gone for before, meant to mirror a sort of dive bar aesthetic rather than a beautiful arena production. “This reflects the music off the latest album, which has a more grungy feel to it. There are touches in there such as the light boxes (loosely resembling the fluorescent lights of a nightclub toilet), and our custom camera housing (a hollowed out old VHS camcorder with a Marshall 4K camera inside) that bring it back to a more intimate venue feel than the true scale of the places we’re playing across the world.”

Taylor notes the show itself has definitely progressed and he would say feels more like a ‘show’ than a ‘gig‘ now; it has a start, middle, and end, with themes and segues to connect them throughout. “The video content is more to set a mood for the songs. We’re trying to stay away from anything too literal and obvious. This extends to the lighting programming as well where we largely refrain from hitting everything on the beat, fully ‘perfect’ timecoded hits throughout the rig. Hopefully the end result is that in those moments where we do go crazy with programming and rhythm, it’s much more interesting and stands out in the set.”

Since 2020, Taylor has worked with Francis Clegg on production design. They had worked together for about five years prior to that and have a complimentary skill set. “We’ve accelerated quite rapidly, taking on a design assistant in Jamie Lawrence and soon to have another member of the team joining,” Taylor says. “Whilst one of us is the company face to each artist or client, we work together 50/50 on every project behind the scenes. James Washer [Lighting Programmer] is often the first name on the team sheet when we pick up a show like this one… he just gets it; is a great programmer and time saving resource who knows how to interpret when I say something like ‘can the lights be a little more aggressive.’ Francis (Clegg) is also a fantastic programmer, so I was able to work alongside James in the rehearsals to finesse the previz programming.”

Although he’s on a MA Lighting grandMA3 surface, Taylor runs the show on MA2 software. The reason for that is because this tour goes everywhere in the world, and he knows he can get an MA2 anywhere without having to lug around small form consoles himself. Taylor much prefers to take a USB stick through an airport. “We are running a lot of things through the desk—lighting, video, camera switching, and automation. The MA makes this easier to deal with and the fixture cloning system is excellent, so I know I’m going to get a good replica of the show no matter what fixtures I get thrown wherever we go.”

The venue sizes this time around sort of called for a video element to be added, Taylor says. “The focus of the show is, of course, Louis, so plenty of close-up camera work to amplify his emotion. These are treated with overlays and masks created by [content creators] Two Suns and ourselves, with 3D animation work coming from Boxcat Studio. The whole system is run on a Resolume server. Camera switching is done from the MA console via Open Control, which sends OSC messages to the ATEM switcher, which ultimately sends it to the capture cards. This way we eliminate a touring video director (sorry!) and save a bunch of truck space on outboard equipment. The system works extremely well.”

Colour Sound Experiment out of London is the tour lighting, video, and rigging company. “We use them for a large portion of our shows. It’s very useful dealing with just one company who ‘do it all’ but also don’t cut any corners or scrimp to get the job done. The equipment is well maintained with a good selection of inventory to choose from.” Taylor says it probably took them about three iterations to get to the point they’re at now, keeping ideas from the previous versions until they got somewhere they were all happy with. “It was a bit of a process, but a great payoff. I should probably thank Louis and his Manager, Matt Vines, for their patience in putting it all together. There are a lot of (literally) moving parts to the stage with winches, light boxes, light bulbs, and our shuttering set piece at the back. Ultimately the show is dynamic and exciting, but all the elements sit nicely together as well.” Taylor was a bit unsure on using the GLP X4 Bars across the back because of the brightness difference to GLP’s FR10, for example, but they are exactly the right brightness for this gig without being overpowering, he says. “My absolute favorite moment of the show, where we have some crazy iridescent hyper color animation, is driven by the Ayrton Huracans… amazing lights, just don’t try to pick one up by yourself, they’re beasts!”

Tomlinson was really involved in the design of this one, and also much more open to trying new things and delivering a narrative through the show, adds Taylor. “Matt Vines should have a shout out for his contribution to the ‘ideas factory’ and being a great sounding board as we developed the show. PM Craig Sherwood has been incredible as always, never asking ‘why’ we want to make it look like a derelict bathroom, just making it happen. Finally, the tour’s secret weapon, technical maestro Sam Kenyon, who is quite literally irreplaceable, has been an excellent resource for actually delivering the show in the real world day after day.”

Production Team

Tour Manager: Tom Allen

Production Manager: Craig Sherwood

Production Design, Programmer & Director: Tom Taylor & Francis Clegg, TANCK

Lighting Programmer: James Washer

Lighting Crew Chief: James Box

Lighting Techs: Rick Carr, Amy Barnett

Stage Manager: Torin Arnold

Technical Manager: Sam Kenyon

Video Crew Chief: Dave Mallandain

Video Programmer: Jack Fone

Video Techs: Tim Curwen, Braden Pettigrew

Camera Operators: Mark Lawrence, Braden Pettigrew, Tim Curwen

Rigger: Mark Lawrence

Vendors

Lighting/Video/Rigging: Colour Sound Experiment/Acc. Rep. Haydn Cruishank

LED Trim: LED Creative

Custom Light Housings: OX Event House

Set Construction: Hangman UK

Video Content: Two Suns Creative, Boxcat Studio, TANCK

SFX: BPM SFX

Gear

Lighting

2 MA Lighting grandMA3 full-size

19 Ayrton Eurus Profile

6 Ayrton Huracan LT Profile

5 Claypaky Mini-B

12 Robe Spiider

72 GLP X4 Bar 20

16 GLP JDC Line 1000

10 GLP JDC1 Strobe

12 CHAUVET STRIKE Array 4

2 Chroma-Q Color Force II 12

16 Elumen8 COB PAR Endura

10 LEDJ Spectra Q15

3 Robe BMFL RoboSpot

Video

2 Resolume Server

23 Custom LED Trim

6 Video Screens, 2.5m x 2.5m

7 Marshall 503 Camera

3 Panasonic UE70 PTZ Camera

2 Blackmagic Design URSA G2 Camera

#fitfwt23: gear #fitfwt23: technicals #louis tomlinson #louis press #fitfwt23: crew #11.8.2023

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chcrryade · 3 months

Text

YOU’VE GOT TO TWIST YOUR BODY, TWIRL IT ALL AROUND! ⠀⸻⠀ meet the members!⠀⠀cw mentions of suicide, death.⠀long post !!!

Born in February 1998 to a small town in Daejeon, DOYEON had a relatively quiet life growing up. It was a place where everyone knew everyone, where people met up on weekends in town halls or community centres to share coffee and cake and pour over puzzles. There wasn’t much excitement, but DOYEON didn’t mind. He liked afternoons spent playing with his younger brother, or helping his mother in the kitchen. He didn’t need much entertainment to keep him happy, and was perfectly content as he was.

Or at least, he thought he was. The restlessness started to fester at around the age of thirteen, and it was a slippery slope from that point onwards. He’d seen all the movies in their singular cinema more than twice over, had tried every position there was possible without hurting himself on the swings in their tiny park (at one point he could hook his legs over the top bar and let himself hang, using it more like a gymnast than a bored child), and was sick to death of the jigsaws he helped with every weekend. He felt lost for a while, stuck still on his feet without an end destination in sight, retreating into his shell and keeping his head down—until he saw an rerun of Inkigayo playing on the old tv strung up in the corner of the café he had grown to like, and then all of a sudden he had brand new dream, a brand new goal to strive towards.

It was more the dance than the whole idol thing that DOYEON was interested in, and he enrolled himself into a few classes the second he was able. Dancing was all he did for the next few months. On the way home from school following whatever rhythm he was making up in his head, in his bedroom copying along to various choreographies, even while sitting down his feet would be tapping along to a beat no-one could hear but him. He was obsessed, poured everything he had into it. It felt like he’d finally found his true calling, and one day in 2015 while walking home from a lesson a FNC scouter seemed to think so too. He was introduced, handed a business card, and had shaken the man’s hand before he was gone again and DOYEON was left dazed and with a new opportunity tucked into his hand.

An opportunity he took, of course. His mother was worried about the move to Seoul, but DOYEON assured her he would call every week, ruffled his younger brother’s hair just to watch him complain, and boarded the train to his new trainee life. One that, once he was finally able to debut with SLOW MOTION, would have a rather sad end a little over a year after their 2019 debut. There was no egregious scandal or vicious fight between the five members that tore them apart, but instead they just.. Fell flat. With nothing to do, and not much chance to dance in front of adoring crowds like he’d wanted since he was young, when JAGUAR approached he was biting at the bit to take the chance.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀DOYEON ( 도연 )

BIRTH NAME⠀KIL DOYEON ( 길도연 )

BIRTH DATE⠀11 FEBRUARY, 1998

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀DAEJEON, SK

HOMETOWN⠀DAEJEON, SK

ETHNICITY⠀KOREAN

NATIONALITY⠀KOREAN

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL

COMPANY⠀FNC ( 2015—2019 )⠀JAGUAR ( 2019—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀FOUR

POSITION⠀LEADER, MAIN DANCER

DEBUT DATE⠀12 MAR, 2019⠀╱⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀JI CHANGMIN

HEIGHT⠀175 CM ( 5’9” )

WEIGHT⠀56 KG ( 123 LBS )

JALEN was born on a late spring evening in April 1997, to a nightclub-owner of a father and a karaoke-loving office worker mother—right in the very heart of Beijing. Music and dance and the raucous laughter of the young partygoers as they drunkenly tottered down in search of the next club to hit, shoes clattering on the uneven cobbles of the city streets that sat right outside his little flat’s bedroom window, were something he grew up with practically ingrained in him.

With no siblings to keep him company, and not many friends at school to bunk off classes or mess around on the walk home with, JALEN turned to music instead. At first it was just his hesitant accompaniment of his mother whenever she made use of her weekend off to enjoy a couple of hours at their local KTV, but from there it started to spiral. He loved singing with everything in him, really, but he also wanted to try and make some of his own. He was mostly self-taught, watching tutorials late into the night and messing around on his phone, starting with only simple mixes of his favourite songs, and then at around the age of seventeen/eighteen was when he started picking up DJ sets in his father’s club to really try his hand at the craft.

Becoming an idol was never really part of the plan. He would’ve been happy to work at the club for however many more years he saw fit, until his mother sat him down and pointed out that he could go so much further if he tried to get deeper into the industry rather than simply scratching the surface of Beijing’s nightlife scene. METRONOME was never at the top of his list either, but the auditions were the closest, and so on a hot summers day in mid 2015 the freshly eighteen year old JALEN packed a bag for the four-hour bullet train ride to Shanghai and performed the best he could for the panel before him—a simple song and dance routine he’d learnt back-to-front.

It was apparently deemed good enough for them to take him on, and so he made his move to Korea and the next three years were spent training until the eventual debut of ALGORHYTHM. But it only took a single member leaving for them to fall apart and for JALEN to be left with nothing else to do other than make beat after beat on his shitty laptop that he stubbornly refused to upgrade and then make up the routines for them in his head afterwards—until, of course, JAGUAR happened, and his life began to pick up speed again.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀JALEN ( 잘렌 )

BIRTH NAME⠀DUAN JIEYANG ( 段揭阳 )

BIRTH DATE⠀27 APRIL, 1997

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀BEIJING, CN

HOMETOWN⠀BEIJING, CN

ETHNICITY⠀CHINESE

NATIONALITY⠀CHINESE

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL

COMPANY⠀METRONOME MEDIA ( 2015—2019 )⠀JAGAUR ( 2019—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀THREE

POSITION⠀MAIN VOCALIST, LEAD DANCER

DEBUT DATE⠀16 JAN, 2018⠀╱⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀QIAN KUN

HEIGHT⠀176 CM ( 5’9” )

WEIGHT⠀60 KG ( 132 LBS )

Hailing from the very centre of Gangnam in the cold month of November 1999, with a near-supermodel mother and talent agent father, HAEIL had grown up vaguely in and around the rich and the famous. And while his older sister basked in the spare attention they naturally got as a result, HAEIL himself wasn’t too keen. The camera flashes made his eyes sting, the microphones shoved in his face by reporters with leering grins on their faces as they asked him—a child, barely nine or ten or twelve or whatever age he was when they did it—how it felt to have such wonderful people for parents made him want to turn and run back to his room, and the general feeling of being watched made his skin crawl, made him want to lash out and start yelling until it all stopped.

But it turned out he didn’t know how good he had it. Late 2011 was when his life came crashing down, so fast it almost felt like a blur. One day he was stopping in the corner shop to buy lunch for himself before school, and the next he was standing stock still in front of the newspaper stand staring at his mother’s debauched face streaked with makeup and mouth open in an angry scream at whoever was taking her photo. ‘Model caught in cheating scandal,’ read the fine print underneath, and then he was snatching a copy and running out of the store, back to the apartment, ignoring the yells coming after him. He reread the story until none of the words made sense anymore, until his father found him in his room and snatched it out of his hands.

The cameras and the microphones and the reporters got worse after that. His mother was nowhere to be seen, his sister didn’t revel in the attention so much as despise it, his father was a silent shell of who he used to be, and HAEIL himself wanted to scrub his life off of his skin, start over completely. That chance came only a year later, when he was approached on the tube of all places, on the way to school. The METRONOME representative had to tap him three times on the shoulder to get him to take his headphones off, and the first words he spoke to him were “Would you like to be an idol?”. It was his chance to make his name be associated with something other than his mother, wrapped in a bow named ALGORHYTHM, and HAEIL could do nothing but agree.

Alas, his chance didn’t last long. All his years of training turned out to be useless after ALGORHYTHM fell to the wayside after the departure of LEVI. He wanted to be known for something other than having a mess of a mother, but all that got him was being known for being in the group that couldn’t cope with one less member. He was desperate for a third chance, a final opportunity to make a name for himself, and so when JAGUAR rolled around he practically couldn't say yes fast enough.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀HAEIL ( 해일 )

BIRTH NAME⠀JEON HAEIL ( 전해일 )

BIRTH DATE⠀15 NOVEMBER, 1999

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀GANGNAM, SK

HOMETOWN⠀GANGNAM, SK

ETHNICITY⠀KOREAN

NATIONALITY⠀KOREAN

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL

COMPANY⠀METRONOME MEDIA ( 2012—2019 )⠀JAGUAR ( 2019—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀SIX

POSITION⠀LEAD VOCALIST, LEAD RAPPER

DEBUT DATE⠀16 JAN, 2018⠀╱⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀GOO GUNIL

HEIGHT⠀172 CM ( 5’8” )

WEIGHT⠀53 KG ( 116 LBS )

Born in the busiest part of Chongqing in January 2001, as the youngest to two older sisters and a branch-manager mother far too busy for her own good, YIJUN didn’t have heaps in common with his family growing up. His friends from school were fine, but it was all skin-deep. None of them ever wanted to hang around after classes were over, or go to the cinema when the latest flick came out, or hit the shopping streets whenever they had a bit of pocket money to spare on weekends. He was left to his own devices for a large amount of his younger years, and more often than not that translated into him being led awake at three in the morning with his phone propped up on the pillow before him while he led and watched music show reruns all night.

Rap had always been something he was interested in. It was a genre that stretched far beyond his imagination, and he wanted to learn every inch of it: how to go fast, how to slow it down, how to keep to a beat and make it sound good at the same time. How you could mumble, words barely intelligible, and still make something worthwhile—however niche the audience for it might’ve been. He liked it so much he started to try it out for himself, bit by bit. Always in the quiet confines of his own bedroom, always with only himself to hear whatever words came out of his mouth.

He practised until he thought he was good enough, took to taking free sample beats from SoundCloud and rapping over them before uploading them on his own account even if a grand total of only 12 people listened to them. He practised until a calm summer day in 2016, when he was walking home from school and watched as a poster came drifting to the floor from where it’d been hastily plastered onto the side of the graffiti-covered bus shelter, one that simply read JAGUAR AUDITIONS with the time and place in fine print underneath. And while he’d never really believed in anything spiritual, the ‘divine interferences’ his oldest sister seemed to be marginally obsessed with, it was as if it had been placed there specifically for YIJUN to find it, and he wasn’t going to ignore such a glaringly obvious sign like that.

So he skipped school one early winter day, caught the train armed with his phone and the clothes on his back and barely enough money for a ticket, and walked into the auditions room like he owned the place. From there it was pressing play on the track he’d cobbled together in the weeks leading up to that very moment, looking them all dead in the eyes, and trying not to lose his nerve.

It worked, and he was moving out as soon as he got the chance. His mother accompanied him on the long plane ride over, gave him a short hug for the first time in what felt like years, and then he was left to his own devices once again, to get used to his new routine at JAGUAR. He was over the moon when he was given a chance to be in a group named BONSOIR, but all that excitement disappeared after the addition of JAEHEE—a blatant outsider, someone who didn’t fit in the slightest. YIJUN didn’t care all that much about the article that was known to many as BONSOIR’s downfall because, to him, BONSOIR wasn’t a group at all if JAEHEE was there. He wasn’t all that happy when given the offer of debuting with CHERRYADE, either, but he did it anyway—if only to terrorise JAEHEE some more.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀YIJUN ( 宜君 )

BIRTH NAME⠀QIAO YIJUN ( 喬宜君 )

BIRTH DATE⠀26 JANUARY, 2001

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀CHONGQING, CN

HOMETOWN⠀CHONGQING, CN

ETHNICITY⠀CHINESE

NATIONALITY⠀CHINESE

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL

COMPANY⠀JAGUAR ( 2016—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀THREE

POSITION⠀MAIN RAPPER, CENTRE

DEBUT DATE⠀22 OCT, 2019⠀╱⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀ZHONG CHENLE

HEIGHT⠀176 CM ( 5’9” )

WEIGHT⠀58 KG ( 128 LBS )

On a sticky summer night in Chiang Mai was when GOGO was born, June 2002. Despite his Thai hometown, he was born to two Korean parents (an eccentric traveller of a mother and a stay-at-home father who would willingly follow wherever she wanted to go next), and grew up having to juggle between speaking one language at school and another at home. This didn’t last forever, though, because at the age of eight their family of four (extended by the original three when his younger brother was born, when GOGO was seven and very much against the prospect of a wailing, screaming, wriggly thing he’d have to call his sibling) packed up and moved to Yangsan, in a country that was technically his homeland but didn’t at all feel like it.

Yangsan lasted for barely a year. Just when he’d been settling in, learning how to talk like the boys at his school did, how to leave his tie loose the way they did, how to act like they did, they were handing in their final rent payment and making the move to Jeonju. And just when he was finally making closer friends, getting to know the twists and turns of the neighbourhood like the back of his own hand, they were packing up again, and then Suncheon was his newest home at age 11. he almost didn’t dare to breathe, worried to say a singular word to his classmates in fear he’d get told the next day they had a new apartment waiting for them in another city far away, and he was right for it. Ulsan came a month before he turned 12, and it was where he and his family—the only people that hadn’t changed, his father and mother and irritating younger brother—finally settled.

So he adjusted. He blended in. He made friends, got comfortable, and soon it was like he’d been there since the day he was born all over again. His days were spent joking and laughing and play fighting, slipping out of the school gates before the first bell rang to the nearby arcades and basketball courts and crowding up against each other with someone’s phone propped up on a bench while they tried to learn the latest EXO choreography, then lying through his teeth back home about all the things he’d supposedly ‘learnt’ that day in lessons. His audition came about in a similar way—a mild September afternoon in 2015, while he and his friends were bunking off, wandering down the city streets, one saw a sign advertising SM walk-in auditions and hit him on the shoulder to grab his attention. “I dare you to go in there” was what he said, and GOGO could do nothing but agree. It seemed his mostly-freestyled routine to the tune of EL DORADO playing out of his phone speakers was enough to impress, or at least convince the people sitting in front of him that he had some potential, because the next thing he knew he was being told he should be expecting a callback. Then came the goodbyes, the moving into dorms, and the practice, day in and day out.

He was perfectly content there, happy with his members and the group and the multiple sub-units he was given the chance to debut in—until he wasn’t. GOGO himself didn’t really know what changed, he just didn’t feel right there anymore. Didn’t feel like he fit. So when JAGUAR reached out with a request for him to join their little roster for a new group set to debut in 2021, it was all he could do to agree. He doesn’t regret a thing, and would do the exact same even if he was given a chance to go back.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀GOGO ( 고고 )

BIRTH NAME⠀HWAN MINHUI ( 환민희 )

BIRTH DATE⠀16 JUNE, 2002

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀CHIANG MAI, TH

HOMETOWN⠀CHIANG MAI, TH

ETHNICITY⠀KOREAN

NATIONALITY⠀KOREAN

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL

COMPANY⠀SM ( 2015—2019 )⠀JAGUAR ( 2019—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀FOUR

POSITION⠀MAIN DANCER, LEAD VOCALIST

DEBUT DATE⠀8 AUG, 2019⠀╱⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀YEOM TAEGYUN

HEIGHT⠀176 CM ( 5’9” )

WEIGHT⠀54 KG ( 118 LBS )

Suwon was where JAEHEE was born, in the month July 2002. As a child he only had his mother, his father having parted ways with the two in exchange for a new job in America. He was content with just the two of them until 2009, when his mother remarried and he was suddenly made to make nice and live with his new older step-brother and younger step-sister. It was a hard change for JAEHEE, and more often than not he felt left out, isolated from the new family of four as the forgotten middle child. He started to retreat into himself then, not going out unless it was to go to school or when sent on errands. There was nothing much to do except watch dramas all day, and it was then that he came to the quiet realisation that he wanted to try it out. The idea of pretending to be a different person, even if it was only for an hour or two in a school play, was something JAEHEE found he liked the idea of quite a bit.

He began acting by joining the drama club in school, and threw his all into it immediately. There he wasn’t the quiet JAEHEE, the one that barely greeted his mother and step-father when he got home before rushing up to his room, but instead he could be the sociable one, the one that greeted everyone with a smile and always had friends hanging off of his arms. He first got asked whether he wanted to be a real actor in 2015, and couldn’t be happier. From there it was a lot of forms and paperwork and older, far more important people than the talent scout he’d first been in touch with asking about where he wanted to go with his career, and him having to leave all of his school friends behind to enrol in a proper acting school, and lessons on etiquette and respect and a whole load of other things that made his head spin. Still, he loved every minute of it, and isn’t too ashamed to admit that he cried when he landed his first role—a minor one, with only a handful of lines, but a role all the same.

The want for change came around three years later, early 2018. It wasn’t like he’d lost his love for acting, but more that he felt he wasn’t going anywhere. It was background character after background character, extra after extra, and he was starting to get sick of it. He wanted something different, a complete cleanse. A challenge. That thought process was what led him down a year-long spiral that eventually landed him at JAGUAR in December, where he had to take a moment and ask himself if the life of an idol was what he really wanted.

But, at the end of the day, he didn’t think it would be too much of a high hurdle to jump over. He already had the whole pretend-to-be-a-different-person act down to a T, and the rest could be learnt and improved on with time. So he signed the form, started training, and it was then decided he would be debuting with BONSOIR. JAEHEE was wary, aware of the single they’d already released as a four, and for good reason—it was like they all couldn’t stand the sight of him, bar maybe HYEONMIN on good days. It was like walking on broken glass barefooted every day with them, and when the article that ripped back the curtain on how he was treated was released he could admit that he was a little relieved. And that relief only grew when he was told he was then going to be in a shiny, new, group—even if YIJUN (the one who, without a doubt, hated him the most) was going to be right there him.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀JAEHEE ( 재희 )

BIRTH NAME⠀AHN JAEHEE ( 안재희 )

BIRTH DATE⠀8 JULY, 2002

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀SUWON, SK

HOMETOWN⠀SUWON, SK

ETHNICITY⠀KOREAN

NATIONALITY⠀KOREAN

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL, ACTOR ( FORMER )

COMPANY⠀JAGUAR ( 2018—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀ONE

POSITION⠀LEAD RAPPER, VISUAL

DEBUT DATE⠀22 OCT, 2019⠀╱⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀CHOI HYUNWOOK

HEIGHT⠀181 CM ( 5’11” )

WEIGHT⠀70 KG ( 154 LBS )

HASUN wasn’t born into any sort of stardom—far from it, actually, with a mild-mannered librarian father and a mother that passed away a mere few months after he was born into a quaint neighbourhood in Incheon, August 2003—but he was very close to it. His father’s sister just so happened to be the mother of one CHOI YOONHAE, who in around 2015 would reach his peak as JAGUAR’s most successful (and only) soloist, claiming his place as reigning king over the quickly deteriorating duo JUST4U. His older cousin was what inspired him to want to be an idol in the first place. He wanted to sing just like him, dance just like him, succeed and soar to heights that at the time felt unattainable just like him.

Singing was where he thought to start. In the shower to instrumentals of his favourite songs, under his breath while studying or doing odd jobs in the library his father worked at, at the noraebang after school with his friends, belting out the lyrics louder than all of them. It was like his lifeline, and he was biting at the bit to be able to audition for JAGUAR. His father finally let him a month after his thirteenth birthday in 2016, on the strict condition that YOONHAE and his younger sister, EUNHEE (who had just recently started to work at the company also) were to watch over him any time they got the chance to make sure he was settling in alright. He painstakingly chose a song to audition with, practised it until he could sing the verses in his sleep (with a little dance to go along with it, a number he did so many times he almost wore out the soles of his favourite trainers), and his father came with him to the audition hall to cheer him on and treat him to hotpot afterwards.

When he finally got the news of his acceptance, he nearly cried out of joy. Despite it being a generally well-known fact that trainee life wasn’t always the best of experiences, HASUN loved every minute of it—turning up to every practice with a grin so wide it looked as if his face hurt from the force of it. Even when he was deemed not the right fit for BONSOIR did he become disheartened. He just kept on going, smiling all the while.

That was, until YOONHAE was found to have taken his own life in his penthouse apartment on a cold morning in December 2018. However much JAGUAR tried to sweep all news of it under the carpet, keep as much press away from it as possible, it still happened. And the worst part of it was the 15-year-old HASUN was standing outside the very block of flats the morning it was discovered, EUNHEE by his side as they stared on in silence. He almost went through a complete personality shift then, withdrawing into himself completely. There was no sunny smile anymore, and no laughter either.

But despite all of this, the tragedy that had befallen his family and himself, HASUN stayed. It took a good year or so after YOONHAE’s death for it to happen, but he started to gradually improve again, small smiles making their appearances again and mood seeming to brighten up, however slowly it was happening. He’s certainly not the same person as he was when he was thirteen, but he’s trying his best.

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀BASICS

STAGE NAME⠀HASUN ( 하선 )

BIRTH NAME⠀LEE HASUN ( 이하선 )

BIRTH DATE⠀7 AUGUST, 2003

PLACE OF BIRTH⠀INCHEON, SK

HOMETOWN⠀INCHEON, SK

ETHNICITY⠀KOREAN

NATIONALITY⠀KOREAN

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀CAREER

OCCUPATION⠀IDOL

COMPANY⠀JAGUAR ( 2016—PRESENT )

YEARS TRAINED⠀FIVE

POSITION⠀MAIN VOCALIST, MAKNAE

DEBUT DATE⠀1 AUG, 2021

⠀⠀ യ ‹ ⠀PHYSICAL

FACE CLAIM⠀LEE SOHEE

HEIGHT⠀176 CM ( 5’9” )

WEIGHT⠀52 KG ( 114 LBS )

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