#author & punisher

[dostoevskyordoesntshe]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

Dracula Daily as an insidious plot to manipulate young internet users into willingly checking their email

[postpunkindustrial]

Author and Punisher

[rosycheekies]

Oniisama E by Ikeda Riyoko

[tiredaroacesimp]

Stormbringer spoiler kind of

Adam's favorite food is chestnuts and grass seed. In Frankenstein (from Mary Shelley) when the monster gets abandoned by Frankenstein he just goes outside and eats whatever he finds (berries, chestnuts, probably grass seeds etc.)

What I am trying to say, is that I love these details. It's funnier when I know why is his favorite food chestnut. I love when I sometimes find paralles between bsd and the authors and their books. It makes me want to read their works and know more about literature.

[orangerosebush]

I think one of the things that most helped me chill out and not worry about people behaving in ways I both do not understand and can’t control is finally leaving for college. Looking back, it’s no wonder I was so combative in this vaguely “hall monitor way” during high school. It sucks growing up in an environment where if you don’t know exactly how to tailor your behavior and hide parts of who you are, shit gets bad. I was constantly surveilling my own behavior so I didn’t get harassed by my dad (who also had no control over his life in the sense he was too depressed to hold down a job for long). Just a constant diet of meanness and cynicism for the brain. So when I see stuff online that’s a bunch of (unhappy) gay teens being shitty and policing each other over pointless community in-drama, I feel like that particular personal history I have is one of the biggest “it gets so much better for you one day, I promise, and a lot of the b.s. you’re going through right now is coming from other teens who are profoundly messed up in a similar way — though that doesn’t excuse it” I can offer.

[jgthirlwell]

playlist 03.29.22

Heiner Schmitz’s Symprophonicum Sins & Blessings (Big Band Records) Colin Stetson The War Show / Color Out Of Space / Le Peur OST (Milan) Jerzy Milian Rivalen / Cutting (GAD) Kemper Norton Estrenyon (Kemper Norton) Author and Punisher Kruller (Relapse) King Gizzard Butterfly 3001 Remixes (KGLW) Zeal & Ardor Zeal & Ardor (MVKA) Voivod Synchro Anarchy (Century Media) Svin & Arhus Sinfonietta Elegi (Big Band Records) Soley Mother Melancholia (Dischord) Juliana Barwick The Magic Place (Asthmatic Kitty) Mira Calix Skimskitta (Warp) Jazzhaus Orchester Hamburg Cosmopolitans (Big Band Records) Transcendence Orchestra All Skies Have Sounded (Editions Mego)

[stoic-whumpee]

This is based from what I remember from a post of whumpwillow, i sadly never again found it and I asked them about it but i don't think they even saw my message xD

Basically Whumpee is a rescue from an asylum/hospital (idk something like that) (which the whumper was the doctor it seemed)

And Whumpee doesn't trust anyone after too many torture, and caretaker is also a doctor/therapist (one of those two) and when Whumpee gets agressive, attacking caretaker (trying to choke him) because of an breakdown (kinda like he got extremely scared but also angry?), Caretaker has no choice but to say they need to sedate Whumpee to calm them down. This makes Whumpee even more angry because they're like "ha, i knew you are no different from him".

I dare you to make the most angstiest prompt you can >:D but if you don't, it's ok too :) it is a request after all, im a big fan of ur writing :D (seriously... BIG FAN!!!!!)

TW: emotional and physical abuse, abuse of authority, abuse under doctors’ care) 

First off, here are some articles on PTSD and anger: [1] [2] 

Here’s a survey on patients experience in psychological care: [1]. (TW: trauma, abuse, suicide mentioned) 

As far as I know, bringing an abused patient to another hospital might lead to the patient’s developing even more trauma or worsen the patient’s existing trauma. The new Doctor sedating the patient is unethical and incredibly violating, not to mention most likely illegal. 

- Whumpee who already did not trust the doctors/caretakers at the new hospital. 

- Whumpee who just wanted to go home, but home was long gone. They had no one, no friends, no family to take care of them. 

- Whumpee who has already lost all their loved ones due to the last Whumper’s manipulation, now had no choice but to stay at the hospital where they were always reminded of their trauma. 

- Whumpee who refused to accept help from any of the nurses and doctors because they thought everything could be a trap and they could get punished (sedated, restrained, etc.) at any time. 

- Whumpee who already knew misbehaving meant punishment. They saw the new Doctor having to knock them out was a punishment and became fearful of “acting out”. They suppressed their anger, and eventually turned it against themself. 

- Whumpee who, at first, thought that they deserved to be treated better, and thought that maybe this hospital would be better. Their trust was broken, and eventually they started to wonder that maybe they did deserve to be treated badly. 

- Because of their outburst, Whumpee were kept under close watch. They didn’t trust their caretakers or anyone around them. This resulted in them being unable to have any way to deal with their anger, destructive or constructive. They had to suppress their anger and became stuck in their head, withdrawing from other people. 

[probablyasocialecologist]

Currently reading

[literaphobe]

All I want is to be able to look up fun memes about grians most recent hermitcraft/last life vids without seeing hate on dream…… in some ways hate from tumblr hermitcraft fans is more annoying than random awful dream twitter stans bc its guised under people pretending to be “mature” about still being mad about little block men

yeah… one thing i wished other mcyt fans would acknowledge is that current dreamblr is p small and literally almost NOTHING like smiletwt. we don’t have anything against your faves and neither does dream! so it’s p upsetting to see some people just be unnecessarily cruel on here esp when they’re bigger in numbers as compared to dreamblr like i promise you there’s not that many of us you are not being oppressed and in fact you’re kinda being the big bullies you claim to be afraid of on twitter, just on a different platform. i can’t speak for all tumblr dream stans but we don’t generally spew hate, definitely not about creators who have done nothing to dream. just wish some of you would realize the opposite is also true and that your faves don’t hate dream so it’s truly unnecessary to spout so much vitriol. just as a general consensus it’s pretty unhealthy to fixate and talk excessively about your hatred for someone, especially a cc who you don’t know, so for your own sakes stop assuming the worst of dream. he’s just a guy, really, he has good intentions, and most people that directly interact with him tend to like him

[dostoevskyordoesntshe]

[hexyourheartablaze]

So about Kaigaku...

When reading the manga I was kinda hoping for another interaction between Kaigaku and Gyomei, taken that it was Kaigaku who was one of the temple orphans on top of being the one who snitched on them in order to save himself. When I read that part I was shook. Like, there surely would have been a lot of potential in both of them meeting again after such a long time.

(Putting this under the cut because I ALSO wrote a bunch!! I don't want to flood someone's screen and make them scroll a lot)

Looking back at Kaigakus character is also once again pretty sad. He had no parents and survived on the streets by stealing. Yet he got actually quite lucky to be taken into the temple where Gyomei was lovingly caring for them. He was given a home and a chance for a better life, he even seemed like he was happy there, but he ruined everything by trying to steal from them because he was longing for more, and then the whole incident happened where he ran into a demon after being chased out by the other kids. Then he got incredibly lucky again when Jigoro took him under his wing in order to train him. Which was an even bigger chance to become something great in life. But nope, he still wanted more and wasn’t happy with what was offered to him. Followed up by him getting (unfortunate) lucky once again by meeting Kokushibo who saw something in him and offered to turn him into a demon, granting him immortality and even more power. Which was of course reason enough for him to ditch everyone and everything in a heartbeat. 

He had so much potential but always ended up sabotaging himself. Never feeling satisfied with his life and what he had or could have, but instead only focusing on what he didn't get. Even in his final moments all he could think of was how Zenitsu got an “unfair advantage“ in order to master that final attack in their fight, saying Jigoro “really did play favorites“, which of course wasn’t true. But did he always feel like that? Like he’s not getting the same treatment, even if people clearly cared about him dearly, leaving him thinking that he was the one who got robbed over and over in life? You really do have to wonder where he got this attitude from. And why he wouldn’t let anyone into his heart even after some of them showed him so much genuine kindness.

Like, if we look into theories about his childhood, I can’t help but feel like his parents could have been the type who might have not acted in his best interest and pretty much ditched him, leaving Kaigaku all alone and traumatized, making him feel worthless and weak. Parents should be there to protect their child. Children should be able to feel safe and rely on adults. Yet here he is, having to take care of himself at such a young age. It's kinda hard for me to imagine that he hates weak people when he went through the same, but then again, he certainly is a big hypocrite and he might just hate seeing his past, he probably rather wants to forget, being reflected in others.

Something like this could at least explain his strong hate towards weakness and his lack of trust and respect in anyone, because in the end he's the only person in his eyes that he can truly rely on. Even if he might get lonely at times. Even if there are people around him who "pretend" to care. He’s the only one who's there for himself, he knows what’s best for him and if you don’t agree with him you’re clearly against him and standing in his way. It’s like he developed somekind of superiority complex, he never was able to overcome until he went too far down an awful path with no way back anymore.

Otherwise it feels a bit like we’re missing a part of the puzzle here. Sure, he was an orphan trying to survive on the streets by stealing and got cursed for it. He just wanted to survive afterall. However most demons, like Akaza or Gyutaro for example, who were pretty much treated like trash since birth, were driven by something before being turned. But what was Kaigakus drive to go that far? Zenitsu wanted to protect people and be someone to be proud of, someone to look up to. What is it what Kaigaku wanted? There was no honorable or sincere goal behind his motivations besides wanting a fancy title. Also, please don’t tell me that the necklace could have been a gift from Gyomei, because that would make the whole betrayal even more sad.

Kai Kai Kai… What are we gonna do with you?

Also, look at me! Writing a big post which is not about Douma for once!

I apologize for it being so long though ; ;

You did it! Don't feel sorry about the long post, I woke up and smiled from reading all of it. All of it 😎

I'm not going to go out there and say that KNY was great at showing us mental illness representation, but I will die on the hill that I believe Zenitsu has some form of depression along with his anxiety. I believe that he's higher functioning but that it still hinders his thought process immensely. I also believe that Kaigaku has depression too after reading their fight, but his thought process led him down a much different road than Zenitsu.

Zenitsu's thought process was, "I'm never going to amount to anything, so I should just give up and accept I will die a failure." We see that in our first scene with Zenitsu, he says that even though he survived the exam it didn't matter because he was just going to die in battle soon anyways. This is a foil to Kaigaku's thought process. His attitude was more, "I'm never going to amount to anything, so I should fight like hell and do anything I can to survive to see tomorrow-- even if it means being shameful or abusive to others." I don't believe that Kaigaku would ever say that he himself is worthless out loud but I have a feeling that he really thought that especially when he claimed that Jigoro played favorites and picked Zenitsu over Kaigaku in his eyes. When Zenitsu is struggling, he finds himself wanting to cower away from the situation but Kaigaku acts more like an injured animal and thinks "I have to survive by whatever means necessary," lashing out and victimizing others in the process, and because of that I think Kokushibo saw potential in Kaigaku becoming a demon. Kaigaku, in a way, had already lost his humanity long ago so becoming a demon wasn't that big of a change for him. It's interesting to once again see similar people with different fates fighting. I feel like KNY's fights center mostly on people with completely opposing viewpoints but with similar trauma to each other.

Seeing that one manga set showing how the different paths led both Kaigaku and Zenitsu broke my heart a bit, I wonder if things would have been different if Kaigaku had just made a friend or two. Kaigaku couldn't though... He couldn't see a point to it. Is a friendship going to save his ass? He didn't think it would, he was so used to being abandoned and having to survive on his own wits that he probably saw a friendship as a hinderance to his survival. We don't get any interactions between Kaigaku and Kokushibo other than when Kaigaku becomes a demon, but I think that they shared that mindset. Kokushibo saw his love for his brother as something that was of no value and did not produce results for himself. Kaigaku saw that his admiration for Jigoro got him nothing, all of Jigoro's attention went to Zenitsu in his eyes. In the flashback with Gyomei, we see Kaigaku is happy. He's smiling with the others.

We might not know where Kaigaku lost his morality but I do think that he knew what he did was fucked up. He was a scared child and thought the only way to save his ass was to sell out the other kids to the demon, not saying that was okay but at the time he didn't know what else to do.

I wonder how things would have been if the other temple children had lived. Maybe they would have lived a normal happy life with Kaigaku? Maybe they would eventually join the slayers with him?

Maybe he wouldn't have become so lost and become a demon.

[postpunkindustrial]

Author & Punisher - KRÜLLER 

[layzeal]

look, i legitimately don’t say this in a mean way at all, i understand wanting wlw couples in danmei, but if you’re so deprived that you have no choice but to pair up female characters that never even interacted in canon and calling them lesbian icons, may i please redirect you to this carrd with links to translated baihe/wlw c-novels?

like. there is sapphic content out there! really good sapphic content that doesn’t get nearly as much attention as danmei with plot and characters that could easily rival its most popular works. give baihe a chance!! it’ll be so much more satistying than scraping for breadcrumbs withing a genre that really doesn’t focus on women most of the time

[jes12321]

Y’all ever notice that in fantasy shows when a character has to “maintain the balance” it’s usually just them killing off any non-human creature that causes trouble?