#avocado secondary

[scryingworkshop]

[fantastic-fr-scries]

Wildclaw Female

Emerald / Forest / Avocado , Wasp / Sarcophagus / Scales

Nature Goat

[keirawantstocry]

Heyyyy it’s me, Fitpacbo. I didn’t want to send the ask from my main blog and tumblr is stupid and won’t let you send asks from secondary blogs so I’m anon today. However, I have a prompt for you, if you are willing to entertain my word vomit.

So we’ve all seen the fics where Tubbo is sleep deprived, blah blah blah, we love to see them. BUT. There’s a severe lack of fics where Fit is the one who refuses to sleep. Maybe, just maybe, he needs to be the one who’s being taken care of by his two lovely boyfriends for once

fitpacbo I love u and ofc I will entertain ur word vomit ans ur so right! that man needs babied by his two lovely bfs!

-

Exhaustion sunk into every single bone in Fit's body. He couldn't remember the last time he slept. Every night he sat awake for every minute staring down at Ramón's sleeping form. He had to make sure his boy was safe. Even if that meant he sacrificed. He would sacrifice everything for Ramón if it guaranteed his safety. 

Pac and Tubbo were starting to notice how dark the circles under his eyes were. Fit noticed the looks they gave each other when he stumbled over something he shouldn't have stumbled over. 

And there was Phil. Fit blinked in surprise. “Oh hey Phil!” 

Chayanne ran over, his typical yellow duckie floating around his waist. The children started to bounce around and smack each other lightly. 

“Chayanne was wondering if Ramón could come over today for a play date.” 

If Fit was any less tired he would have noticed the glint in Phil's eyes. But he was exhausted so he just sighed and tried not to let his eyes drift shut. “Yeah, we'd love to come over.” 

“OI!” came a yell right after and then there was Pac and Tubbo. “Fitchie, we need your help.” 

Fit stared despondently at them. “I have to watch Ramón.” 

“Don't worry about it, mate,” Phil chirped. “Chayanne wants him over anyway so I can just watch Ramón for you.” 

Fit hesitated. But ultimately he trusted Phil so he agreed. He let Pac and Tubbo each take one of his hands and drag him off to Tubchunk. There he was immediately confused about the pile of blankets in the middle of the factory floor. 

“What?” He said before he was being pulled down by the two of them into the pile, their limbs holding him down. They were both a lot stronger then they looked so with the both of them they could hold him down easily. 

“Did you guys trick me into coming here to sleep?” He asked.

They both shushed him. 

“Bedtime, king,” Tubbo said softly. 

“Boa noite!” Pac chimed in. Then Pac reached across Fit's chest to wind his fingers in Tubbo's hair who relaxed into the touch. It was nice seeing them both so soft with each other, Fit did have to admit that. Their eyes, different colors, but equally as wide and content. 

He could feel the exhaustion reaching his brain, feeling himself start to drift. Before he could utter a syllable, sleep drug him down. 

-

Fit woke up with the sun shining through the factory window. Tubbo was spread across his chest on his belly, face tucked against Fit's shoulder while Pac stood above them with a wide grin. 

“Bom dia, Fitch. I made you some breakfast.” Sure enough there in his hands was a giant bowl of oatmeal and a plate of avocado toast. “Wake Tubbo up.” 

Fit reached down to gently shake Tubbo's shoulder. Tubbo woke with a start, his hair messy and his eyes bleary. “What's happenin?” 

“Breakfast!” Pac proclaimed setting himself down beside them. Tubbo slowly peeled himself off of Fit to allow him to sit up. 

Fit had to admit the food was delicious. “This is amazing, Pac,” he praised and Tubbo murmured something that was probably meant to be agreement. 

Pac's face began to flush. “Aw thanks Fitch. It's no big deal.” 

“Really though,” Fit continued. “Thank you guys for this.” 

“Obrigado,” Pac said with a soft smile. 

Tubbo fell down against Fit's shoulder with a quiet yawn. “Bedtime,” he murmured and despite it all Fit found himself still incredibly bone tired. He let Tubbo's body weight push him back down once again and wrapped his arms around the man as Tubbo threaded their legs together. 

Pac gathered up their plates and bowl. “You two okay here by yourselves?” 

Fit nodded. “Yeah I think we're both just gonna sleep a bit more.” 

“Okay,” Pac said leaning down to press a kiss to Fit's forehead and another one to the crown of Tubbo's head. "Sleep well you two."

[hometoursandotherstuff]

I was intrigued when I read that you can eat your way thru the backyard. It has a tier garden and so many features that the description says, "If you love this home, know that it loves you more." (I wonder if my apt. loves me.) It was built in 1987 in Escondido, California, has 4bds, 3.5+ba, $5.990M.

Everything about this house revolves around nature and the living room certainly brings the outdoors in.

This is so pretty, I love the airy, colorful look. It's comfortable and has that conservatory vibe.

Notice the natural crack in the wood countertop on the island.

The table is placed in a vertical corridor of the home.

There's the use of natural woods in the architectural design.

View from the 2nd level.

Open, yet hidden from view, bathroom.

Isn't that an interesting sauna design- it's an infrared light therapy sauna.

There's a bedroom that must be the primary.

The large baths on the ground floor have seating areas.

Smaller secondary bedroom can sleep 2 guests or 2 children with this built-in bunk.

There's a rooftop deck outside the family room.

But, this house is all about outside. A tiered deck leads down to a lap pool. The waterfall reminds me of some sort of mine.

Your dog(s) will love this b/c they can run wild- the entire perimeter of the property is fully fenced in.

This yard is like a resort, isn't it?

Here's a built-in hot tub.

The garden includes everything from apples and bananas to aloe vera; berries, figs, peaches, pears, plums, Meyer lemons to pomegranate, grapefruits, avocado, lime, grape vines, sprouts ....you name it.

There's so much land to explore. This looks like a gardening area.

The garden beds are protected with fencing and the trees on the hill must be fruit trees.

They don't mention what this building is, but it looks like a guest house.

 This home has a private well with a whole house filtration system, and owned solar.

[betweenthings2]

hi!!! how’s life? hope you’re doing good :)

talk shop tuesday: i don’t really have a question but i just wanted to share some of my headcannons lol feel free to agree or disagree and chime in w your own or add on to mine!!

- george is really into his skincare routine and does it every night like clockwork and matty started noticing and felt left out bc he didn’t have one so he bought some products on his own along with those trendy scrunchy headbands that have those bows or animals on them and starting doing his own routine next to george each night and now they do it together and wear their little headbands

- matty is obsessed with scrolling on tik tok shop/ temu/ online stores that are similar to those and making a giant cart but never buys any of it (george teases him about it but will never admit he’s bought something off tik tok shop once but it sucked)

- matty bought an avocado just to be able to grow an avocado plant from the pit. he doesn’t even like avocados but saw a video about how to grow an avocado tree from a pit. matty forgets the plant exist after a couple weeks, george still takes care of it

Hello!

Things are going well for me--today was my last day of work and I'm moving into my new apartment tomorrow. I also got to work on The Big Light, pt. 3 some today at work. It's no where near done, but the plot is there and I should have way more time to write very soon. I hope you're doing well, too!! =)

Know that almost any version of fictional!George I write has an amazing skin care routine and he's religious about it. Fictional!Matty is a little bit too chaotic to decide he's going to have a skin care routine on his own, but if fictional!George had one, he could stick to it most of the time. Fictional!Matty would absolutely buy the scrunchy headbands with little animals on them, but he has to buy plain ones for when they're touring because he leaves one in a hotel room and is sad about it for days.

Yes. Absolutely. Filling online shopping carts is so much fun and it's a good secondary thing to do that doesn't take up too much attention. I've filled many Amazon carts in class and fictional!Matty would absolutely sit in meetings or whatever and have online stores open to browse so he doesn't get super bored and distracted. Fictional!George both teases him and gives him suggestions of things to browse when they need to make household purchases like furniture or redo the kitchen or something.

Fictional!Matty is right, avocado is not good, but he would think it's a good idea to try and grow one from the pit. He tries to get into gardening over lockdown and he would be super careful about it for however long it takes to sprout, then he kind of forgets about it, but fictional!George knows he'll be sad if it dies to he takes care of it. He also does not like avocado.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Make Me Write Tag Game

@forthesanityofstorytellers with this post, and @words-after-midnight with this one...

Well. Well. Well. Your timing is impeccable, both of you. I am taking a break from WIPVII until August 1st and I have three other WIPs I want to work on in the meantime. I guess I'm making a poll to decide which one to work on first!

Rules: Make a 24hr poll listing the titles of every WIP you want to work on. (It’s fine if you only have one, still make a poll for the vote count). Whichever WIP title gets the most votes, write 1 sentence for every vote received.

(if you are unsure if you are doing it right you can refer to this post I made about tag game guidelines in general. Of course, they are just guidelines. You can do your own thing if you want and no one can stop you.)

Ever so delicately tagging: @olivescales3, @tea-and-mercury, @avocado-frog, @avidink, @aziz-reads, @quintonli, and @marzipan-corner, and, you know what? This is a pretty cool idea. I'm gonna leave an open tag for anyone who wants to do it too.

Descriptions of each WIP are under the cut.

WIPXIV (WIP 14) is brand-spanking new. I thought up the idea while researching medieval clothing for WIPVII. I don't really have a plot yet but something... something... puesdo-sciencey time-travel shenanigans but the equipment is telescopes, mirrors, hand-cranked projectors etc. etc. and our main cast are a ragtag group from the 1450s who have to travel to various points in the past and future (including our present-day. sort of. there are dragons in this version of our world) to save it from a yet-to-be-determined impending doom. The most important part of this WIP (according to me) is that I make a point of showing how futuristic Elizabethan ruff-collars and how old-fashioned those 1100s style girdles would feel to these characters. I am tired of pseudo-medieval worlds that act like ruff-collars and butterfly veils and floor-length pigtail braids co-existed at the same time.

WIPXII (WIP 12) was a project I started for NaNo last year. I wrote 25k words and then realized I had no idea where I was going with it so I left it to simmer for a while. It is a magic school story, and it is undeniably a response to a favourite childhood author of mine who turned out to be a bigot. This is a project for me to steal the things I loved from the story I grew up with, but write something that I can actually enjoy without getting an icky feeling. My main character is a fat, Jewish, bisexual trans-girl named Shiri and the themes of this story are anti-capitalist and highly critical of the school system. The story is about the magical subcultures and student-run intellectual and activist clubs who are fighting against censorship, gatekeeping of magical knowledge, and the authoritarian government that has a terrible track record of human rights abuses.

WIPIV (WIP 4 or How to Take Over the World). One of my few WIPs with an official name, HtTOtW is the story of an invisibly disabled 20-something who is sick of being underestimated and feeling like she is immature, undisciplined, and a failure for not being as far along in post-secondary and her career-path as her peers. To shut up the voices in her head (and those of society) once and for all, she plans to do the most impressive thing she can think of: take over the world. I've put this project off for a while because it will require an insane amount of research and RIP my search history. The Canadian Secret Service is gonna have a file on me after this. But I do have some ideas for a character study and the mc is such a self-insert ohmygosh. This is my catharsis project.

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Fragmented AU -- Pieces: Snow to Flower

An upcoming fic full of one shots for Fragmented. Sort of a slice of life stuff (plus adventure) taking place in February towards May, leading into the Second Summer. The lengths of the one shots will vary, depending on what I'm writing.

Below is the Cold Open for the first one shot.

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Cold Open for New Friend, New School, New (No) Problem

One day before Dipper and Mabel arrived It was lunch time at Gravity Falls Secondary School, a combined middle and high school for the youths of Roadkill County. While most of the senior students – consisting of 10th, 11th, and 12th graders – seemed more content to hang out at the rugby field, the majority of the junior students – consisting of 7th, 8th, and 9th graders – were in the lunchroom. One such junior student, a 7th grader wearing a forest green aviator hat with goggles, sat alone at a round table, greatly focusing on a soon-to-be-completed diorama of a vegetable farm. An avocado farm, to be precise, according to the miniature sign with an avocado drawn on it. All it needs now is the hanging sign to be put on the awaiting ledge above the entrance of the tiny house. The student did everything in his willpower to keep his hand, holding the tweezers holding the sign, stable as it shook. “Steady…” he murmured to himself, his grayish eyes trained to the shrinking space between the sign and ledge. He barely felt the sweat perspiring from his temple, his orangy hair felt sticky underneath his green aviator hat and his tan skin wrinkled from the strain around his forehead. “Steady…” His necklace containing three small crystal points – each a different color: red, green, and blue – seems to jiggle together from the tension. “Steady…” The boy hopes the glue doesn’t dry before he could attach the sign. Almost there…Almost there… The corner of his lip started to move upwards as excitement swelled in his chest. He’s just half an inch away from completing his diorama. Almost the— A white rugby ball, accented with the school’s colors, landed on the diorama with a loud clatter, crushing his work. His formerly excited smile slowly dipped, staring at his ruined work. “Oops.” The rugby ball was picked by a smug girl with amaranth purple dyed hair and sharp blue eyes. “Sorry, Frog Boy.” Not looking nor acting the least bit sorry, she tossed the ball in the air and catched it. She sees the broken diorama and mocked a sympathetic cringe. “Ooooh…” She smirks. “Was that for Vice Principal Dame’s Environment Appreciation project?” The 7th grader refused to look at the 9th grader any longer, looking at the ground with a frustrated glare. He almost wanted to pull his goggles over his eyes. “...It was.” “Well, I do hope it didn’t take you all week to make that,” the girl taunted. The boy hides the blush on his face with the flaps of his hat. “And isn’t Vice Principal Dame’s class after lunch?” The girl laughed, along with her posse, at the boy’s plight.  The boy glared at his ruined project. More mad at himself than the girl. It didn’t take him all week. It took him 24 hours! He actually forgot about it all week before being reminded yesterday and worked for hours on it, even late into the night. And now…it's all ruined. He looked up at the bully, his eyes landing on the rugby in her hand. He looks over at a plate of food…and a spoon. An idea struck. He takes the spoon and scoops some mashed potatoes and bends the spoon back, aimed at the ball. Once he felt it got the angle, he released the spoon. SPLAT! The boy stared in horror at the mashed potatoes now dripping from the back of the girl’s head. The posse group looked shocked at whatever expression was on the bully’s face. She turned around, glaring daggers at the boy. “...Oops…”

Oh, I wonder who these characters are ^^

[ringleaderising]

Leap Day G1 Round Up

I sure had some hatches for leap day! First the winners, the keepers, the unlikely to leave me's:

This girl was interesting, I thought Peach was going to kill her viability but then Stained came and saved the day for me like the absolute hero it is. [Ice/Denim/Peach]

This girl has a lot of nice scries! and I may not end up keeping her for myself- especially if somebody else loves her more than I just-kinda-like her! her second/tert makes her pretty close to a double, and I like the skydancer scries that make her look like some kind of peacock/parrot/bird of paradise. [iris/peridot/fern]

I've never hatched a dragon more fitting for the title of a "disgusting meat creature" than this girl and honestly I love that for me. She was initially going to be my only keeper before I did a lot more scrying. [Maroon/Soil/Ivory]

This guy used to be Fern/Pearl/Jungle- but he was my first ever Goat eyed natural hatch, so I was reluctant to just sell him or throw him to God. Luckily, I only had to scatter him once to get something delicious. He'll be some kind of opulent, fancy type in my lore, for SURE. [Clay/Wine/Rust]

This was probably my most impressive hatch- and she's already moved on to a new home where she'll be loved and cherished, because I don't like pink. one off double! [Rose/Pink/Tomato]

But there were Stinkers.

These were rough colors to work with, and even the scry that kinda pulled them into cohesion just is not a winner for me. Pear and Periwinkle work together quite well- but Sable strips that away pretty quick with its red-tones in most genes. She's very... storybook dragon colors. to me? [Pear/Sable/Periwinkle]

When I tell you even a mildly appealing scry took me 20 minutes. This little lady is the pox on my home. a blight on my existence. her primary and secondary both have purple tones but they're opposing purples and her tert is vermillion. this was Icewarden cursing me specifically. [Dust/Avocado/Vermillion]

[bajanbeautyxo]

Lantern, maple, cider, Amber

Latern- I met my best friend at secondary school. My impression of her was that she's beautiful and I was excited to know she knew my cousin because my best friend was a transfer student. I'm guessing her impression of me was that I'm a bit crazy but friendly. Maple- A hobby/ skill I always wanted to try was play the guitar. Cider- A food I dislike as a child but enjoy now would be Avocados. Amber- I might get heat for this one lol, an unpopular opinion I have is that ass taste better than nipples.

[scryingworkshop]

[fantastic-fr-scries]

Imperial Female

Eldritch / Shamrock / Avocado , Metallic / Bee / Glimmer

Arcane

[pedalplaces]

Scattered clouds roll across a nearly full moon. Tent lights then dims. Pitched on a sand bar above a dam. No sign of high water, yesterday. Rui Ter. 

Can of beer, avocado and two day old bread from Barcelona aside the river. Drank whole bottle of kefir for lunch then big climb, wish I could have thrown up. A short, very steep climb onto a very long moderate climb up and over a ridge. Southern slope, sunny, dry, and unyielding. Before the summit, slipped down a secondary road running across the northern slope. Still ascending but undulating, dark and damp.  At the summit, a team of pro cyclists had just finished climbing from the opposite direction. A joyous and sunny descent.

Spending four days dwelling in cities clarified a strong preference for the pace and space of the countryside. The city, as I experience it as a tourist, and tourism generally make me uncomfortable. The imbalance of consumption and productivity, in particular.  I sat in a youthful, hip pita/pizza restaurant before leaving Barcelona. There, and facsimiles across any city, the consumer class feels like a herd of cattle just lead into new pasture. The pita was delicious. 

[berlinini]

Hi!❤️ So today’s been pretty depressing day on there lmfao what do you personally think about Louis not promoting his own single and an album? Honestly it’s so annoying and frustrating but also I think that maybe we don’t know exactly what’s going on behind the scenes? It’s really weird tbh and I don’t know what to make out of this situation

It is immensely frustrating so I understand the current discourse that’s going on and taking a part of that frustration on Louis himself.

I’ve been very “ugh whatever” about the horrors that we’ve experienced lately (as @faithinlouisfuture would put it) but whenever discourse happens I can’t help myself and get into it, even if it’s depressing.

So in addition to all my tags under the posts I shared earlier, here are some ~thoughts~ in a slightly chaotic way.

One of the posts I shared earlier pointed out that we know Louis to be detail oriented, perfectionist and a veteran of this industry, so assuming that he’s willingly OK with this situation (which is the same as Walls promo) doesn’t make sense. For a long time I truly believed that; that the Louis we knew and the Louis we saw were opposite and that there was no way he was OK with the state of his career - for example how AFHF 21 and LTWT were promoted. However, things changed for me a little bit with some of the recent things Louis has said himself. He’s talked so much about touring and that if radio hasn’t got his back, if his label hasn’t got his back, he still has his fans. His album won’t be a commercial success but he’ll have a successful tour. I think he’s resigned himself to that idea, after being burned so many times. However it’s been said a lot: that’s just not sustainable. He wants to do 4-5 tours in the next 4-5 years, but who’s gonna buy tickets for the shows if the albums aren’t promoted? He needs new fans. In 5 years, does he want the crowd to be made of people who dress up as avocados, throw chicken nuggets and sing louder on the 1D cover? Oh nevermind, these fans will have moved on in 5 years. (Side note: It’s been frustrating as a solo fan, including as someone who attended his shows, to see this kind of promo where Louis seems to assume all his fans are old directioners)

So honestly as much as I give credit to Louis for being smart, a part of me thinks he doesn’t understand his own fandom. Or, he knows it’s not sustainable but doesn’t let it transpire and that’s the talking point for this promo tour while stuff happens behind the scene… but we thought BMG would get him out of the woods yet literally nothing changed. BMG doesn’t understand the fandom any better (Why did they insist on that radio tour in secondary markets in the US?!?! What do they think this will achieve?! Do they not have better ideas?!)

So it’s either this is the promo he’s comfortable with OR he wants more but something is withholding him. That something could be LTHQ and BMG, in the sense that they’re playing safe and wasting potential, and somehow succeed in talking Louis down from bigger and better ideas. Or he’s very much more aware of the limits of the promo he can get/ the extend of his blacklisting, which we don’t know. Now we’ve talked a lot about using alternative ways of promotion, like any social media channel, that would achieve way more than whatever LTHQ is doing these days online. At this stage I can’t imagine that Sony or something has any control left over Louis’ own social accounts. What I do see is Louis’ reticence at using them, as he has shown for a few years and with his recent comments on Tiktok. We know Louis is stubborn so I think he doesn’t want use it, and LTHQ getting an account is a miracle. Anyways, lots of wasted potential here. I’m not saying anything new.

But where I’m going is that I think that’s Louis’ choice, because I think he aspires to a career of the likes of his favourite bands, which is music-focused promo, and then you don’t hear about them. They release an album, have proper, grade A promo in serious magazines and TV shows, go on tour and then dip. They don’t make tiktoks of themselves in the studio trying to hype their next singles. In short, the promo of “serious artists”. Respected artists. But that scenario works when you’re an established act and you have an established fanbase and especially you have some support from the industry. Artistically, Louis isn’t there. On top of that, lots of his fans have been conditioned to want promo that’s trivial/ about his personal life and don’t care to hear about his journey as an artist (see the difference in views between the Late late show segment and the Zach Sang interview on Youtube). Then you add the blacklisting, which makes it impossible for Louis to achieve that type of promo, at least now.

Can Louis eventually get there? Sure, as he’s still building his brand as a serious solo artist. We’ve seen baby steps like the NME coverage of AFHF 22 and the Alt Press interview, that introduces him to a music-focused public. How much of that will end up in album and tickets sale tho?

So here we are, with a promo that doesn’t seem to be bringing in new fans and on the contrary is alienating existing fans. Is this just an in-between? Is Louis aware of all this? Does he have a plan? I don’t have answers. All I see is that he seems to have given up on traditional promo, commercial success, focusing on touring instead and riding on the success of his tour and the festival - because indeed with just the fans he’s made it so far. He doesn’t like to worry much. And as we’ve seem to collectively decide too: it’s not our job to worry. It’s not our job to do promo. So if Louis doesn’t want to change what he can change, why should we carry banner and cross for him? As for the things he can’t change, well personally I find that harder and harder to defend. Racam razor’s law says that the simple explanation is often the right one. And looking at the state of things, the simple explanation for me is that Louis bares some responsibility with this promo. That he’s just getting through the motions, doing the bare minimum (if we can even call it that) and waiting to get on the road again, because that’s where his focus is now. Is that some sort of wishful escape? The light at the end of the tunnel?

You know what, maybe it’s not all bad. I’m sure a lot of people who are inactive here would still follow him online and buy tickets to see his shows if they can. Maybe it’s the path to a more normal fanbase (with the trash taking itself out), the kind of casual fans that Louis wants, the kind that most artists have. If that’s the case, then there will be some adjustments and not all his future tours will be sold out. Maybe he’s okay with that. Maybe he’s not worrying and he’s just dumb (affectionate) which is always the other conclusion I come to, because it’s also a simple one.

[msb-lair]

Dragon: Hark - Pearlcatcher Male

First Record Second Record Third Record Fourth Record Fifth Record Sixth Record Seventh Record

(Renamed from GRIMDORK to Hark on 2021-11-09) (Smirch scroll applied on 2021-11-09)

Purchased For: 3,500,000 treasure Hatched On: 2013-09-26 ID: 779793

Parentage: Valencia/Petre Flight: Wind

Primary: Coal Mulberry Tiger Secondary: Purple Orange Shimmer Tertiary: Avocado Orange Basic Smirch Eyes: Common

Comments: Used enough scatterscrolls on him that it’s time to start a new record for this guy (x5).

He’s Hark because the first thought that came to mind for the eventual tagline on his bio was “Hark, a wild scatterscroll project appears!”. Followed about two seconds later by “Huh, that would make an amusing name” - amusing to me, anyway, but as I’ve stated before, I am sometimes easily amused.

I’m also amused that he’s continuing the tradition of “scatterscroll projects I need to throw smirch at so I can see their tert”.

Original Colours: Coal-Purple-Avocado Scatterscroll #1 (2021-11-09): Wine-Grey-Gloom Scatterscroll #2 (2021-11-15): Red-Sanddollar-Lead Scatterscroll #3 (2021-11-22): Dust-Lavender-Metals Scatterscroll #4 (2021-11-29): Charcoal-Splash-Lapis Scatterscroll #5 (2021-12-06): Teal-Fern-Carrot Scatterscroll #6 (2021-12-13): Carmine-Fern-Driftwood Scatterscroll #7 (2021-12-20): Lead-Orchid-Mist Scatterscroll #8 (2021-12-26): Mauve-Lapis-Moon Scatterscroll #9 (2022-01-03): Carrot-Periwinkle-Dust Scatterscroll #10 (2022-01-10): Azure-Radioactive-Eldritch Scatterscroll #11 (2022-01-17): Magenta-Lavender-Blue Scatterscroll #12 (2022-01-24): Phthalo-Smoke-Maize Scatterscroll #13 (2022-01-31): Umber-Avocado-Auburn (very tempting) Scatterscroll #14 (2022-02-07): Cobalt-Tarnish-Gloom Scatterscroll #15 (2022-02-14): Orca-Slate-Antique Scatterscroll #16 (2022-02-21): Brown-Yellow-Cottoncandy Scatterscroll #17 (2022-02-28): Emerald-Crimson-Pumpkin Scatterscroll #18 (2022-03-08): Midnight-Sand-Stonewash Scatterscroll #19 (2022-03-14): Tan-Mantis-Cherry (tree dragon - but no) Scatterscroll #20 (2022-03-15): Cream-Peach-Cerulean Scatterscroll #21 (2022-03-28): Ivory-Cerise-Ruby Scatterscroll #22 (2022-04-04): Blue-Lavender-White Scatterscroll #23 (2022-04-11): Jungle-Radioactive-Red Scatterscroll #24 (2022-04-18): Stonewash-Watermelon-Tomato Scatterscroll #25 (2022-04-25): Brown-Violet-Azure Scatterscroll #26 (2022-05-02): Chartreuse-Pink-Iris Scatterscroll #27 (2022-05-09): Cinnamon-Gloom-Mint Scatterscroll #28 (2022-05-16): Denim-Moss-Black Scatterscroll #29 (2022-05-23): Overcast-Hickory-Thistle Scatterscroll #30 (2022-05-30): Ginger-Peach-Rose Scatterscroll #31 (2022-06-06): Midnight-Fog-Grapefruit Scatterscroll #32 (2022-06-13): Spearmint-Antique-Periwinkle Scatterscroll #33 (2022-06-20): Brick-Orca-Umber Scatterscroll #34 (2022-06-27): Sunset-Brown-Taupe Scatterscroll #35 (2022-07-04): Coral-Spruce-Flint Scatterscroll #36 (2022-07-13): Avocado-Carrot-Blackberry Scatterscroll #37 (2022-07-18): Grape-Cobalt-Gloom Scatterscroll #38 (2022-07-25): Lemon-Aqua-Goldenrod Scatterscroll #39 (2022-08-01): Raspberry-Taupe-Taupe (NOPE!) Scatterscroll #40 (2022-08-08): Carmine-Orca-Smoke Scatterscroll #41 (2022-08-15): Blood-Carmine-Fern Scatterscroll #42 (2022-08-23): Soil-Sanguine-Taupe Scatterscroll #43 (2022-08-29): Green-Grape-Mantis Scatterscroll #44 (2022-09-05): Swamp-Ruby-Saffron Scatterscroll #45 (2022-09-21): Cobalt-Umber-Periwinkle Scatterscroll #46 (2022-09-26): Obsidian-Beige-Antique Scatterscroll #47 (2022-10-10): Ice-Mist-Garnet Scatterscroll #48 (2022-10-17): Peach-Flaxen-Crocodile Scatterscroll #49 (2022-10-24): Blood-Moon-Latte Scatterscroll #50 (2022-11-11): Sunshine-Maroon-Brown Scatterscroll #51 (2022-11-14): Mulberry-Orange-Orange

[josiebelladonna]

i need to roast something to make myself laugh. and when i say “roast”-

yeah.

i found this list. “50 signs you’re a good cook” because i like to torment myself and twist the knife into my own pain.

parentheses are my responses.

1. Can rustle up anything from scratch (yeah, i mean, growing up poor, i don’t think “save our souls” when i see “s.o.s.”)

2. Loving to eat as well as cook (so much for the 100 pound weight loss, i can’t be trusted, i guess…. … don’t get it? look up the phrase “never trust a skinny chef”)

3. Willing to experiment and try all foods and ingredients when cooking at home (heaven help the poor bastard who tried mastic powder the first time thinking it was going to smell like basil—)

4. Being happy to prepare food in front of guests (bro, just thinking about it makes me have a stroke)

5. Always being able to whip something up when there's virtually nothing in the cupboard (fried bread, bitches!)

6. When making a roast dinner everything finishes cooking at the same time (yeah, probably because i roasted the carrots, potatoes, and mushrooms with it, how else would it finish simultaneously?)

7. Can identify certain herbs from appearance (heaven help the poor bastard who can’t tell ground oregano from ground basil or tarragon at first glimpse—that poor bastard is me)

8. Can throw things together knowing that the different combinations (of various foods, herbs, spices) will go together and taste fab (as you read this, someone somewhere is making a screwdriver thinking they just invented a new drink)

9. Experiments with dishes by adding a twist on classics (and as you read this, you know someone somewhere is putting bay leaves and thyme in a chocolate tart)

10. Experimenting with recipes more than once a week (cooking i get, but who tf is baking more than once a week?? barring they aren’t professional bakers or have a huge family?)

11. Being able to laugh if things go wrong in the kitchen (i literally can’t do this. i. can’t. do. this. EVER. i may as well be dead)

12. Can identify herbs and spices by the taste (honestly, if you can do this, congratulate yourself for not being the chainsmoking assholes on hell’s kitchen who probably couldn’t differentiate an apple from a potato)

13. Knowing what herbs go in each dishes (however, if you can do this, fuck you)

14. Can chop things really finely, safely (and you can go to hell if you can do this. like, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME, masaharu morimoto)

15. Always have eggs and milk in the fridge (if you don’t, something is wrong)

16. Home-makes all condiments and sauces (all condiments, including ketchup and the one yo mama used?)

17. Owning a spice rack (bitch, i got you beat with my spice CABINET)

18. Always the one people go to for cooking tips (ehhh, dream on)

19. Knows what every utensil in the kitchen does (bonus if you know every secondary use for the utensil, too, oooooOOOOoooOOooOOOO)

20. Have a very well stocked pantry with all kinds of ingredients, i.e.: masala leaves, curry powder, mustard seeds, different types of oils: olive, avocado, roasted sesame seed, peanut, truffle, canola (the way truffle and sesame oils cost these days? get outta here…)

21. Doesn't need Oxo to make gravy (who’s out here using oxo for gravy? it’s butter, flour, stock, water, and maybe some green onions. full disclosure: i actually didn’t know what oxo was so i saw this and went “oh okay”)

22. Will offer for extra people to stay to dinner at a moment's notice (never happened to me before, and frankly, the way i get comments in the hellofresh group and the bread making group on facebook, i don’t think this’ll happen, either)

23. Rarely eat takeaways (or “fast food” as we call it here in ‘MURICA)

24. Knows exactly how long to cook a perfectly poached egg (without looking it up… 5 minutes?)

25. Knows how to peel fruit and veggies most efficiently (i’ve been peeling potatoes and carrots since i was 6, it’s more second nature to me than geography)

26. Knowing and practicing cooking terms like: 'Al dente', broil, blanch, clarify, deglaze, flambé, gratin, etc. (Immagino di essere un perdente dato che non so tutto 🤷🏻‍♀️)

27. Always wanting to try a new dish when eating out (*insert joke about oral here*)

28. Being able to guess what is in a dish just from the taste (all the times i heard “it tastes like ass” coming back to haunt me)

29. Never needing to use a cookbook (again, dream on)

30. Always the designated cook for large family gatherings (*shrek and donkey laughing.gif*)

31. Know when a cake is done without having to stick a cocktail stick in it a hundred times (once is enough, dumbass)

32. Knowing measurements without having to actually measure (bro, it took paul hollywood 25 years to do this, sit down)

33. Owns good quality cook-ware (our poor pots and pans… my stepbrother’s girlfriend abused the fuck out of our utensils when they were living here. i’d love to have some new shit as i’m sure anyone with half a brain would).

34. Writes a detailed list for the food shop (YES I’D LIKE APPROXIMATELY FIVE GRAMS OF EXTRA FINE SALT FROM THE BELLEND OF A MONGOLIAN WILDEBEEST)

35. Knowing which wine to pair with certain meat or fish (buckle up, earthlings, we’s cooking with grape squeezins!!)

36. Owning a full set of herbs/spices (you know someone somewhere has a quarter set of herbs and spices, and they aren’t k.f.c.)

37. Enjoying a messy kitchen (fewer things in life are more depressing and hard to look at than a messy kitchen, i guess i suck 🤷🏻‍♀️)

38. Don't need a timer (literally the best, most offhand example of simple math coming in handy)

39. Understanding what all the symbols on the oven mean (duhhhhhh, this means ON and this iz thuh TIMER)

40. Can chop an onion in seconds (pffff… it’s chopping BEETS in seconds that takes mad skills)

41. Being able to cook steaks perfectly using the thumb technique (for those who don’t know: press your thumb to the fleshy part of your palm under your thumb or your cheekbone—that’s rare. the tip of your nose: medium rare. your chin: medium. i think.)

42. Can always add in just the right (…what? it just said “the right”, it didn’t say anything else after that 😂)

43. Knowing what 'Bain Marie' is and having the perfect pans for it (*sigh* just use a big bowl over a saucepan with about an inch of water over high heat, you’ll be fine)

44. Knowing the correct pronunciation of unusual or exotic foods (i don’t know… i don’t know if i can pronounce “horse rib and rectum sausage” very well—yes, that is a thing, i shit you the fuck not)

45. Knowing which wine to drink with meat (hey, don’t assume that because i live a couple hours away from paso robles that a sober country bumpkin like me knows absolutely bubkes about wine)

46. Can flip a pancake perfectly (what, tossing a pancake in the air with the skillet instead of a spatula like a peasant?)

47. Knows how to prepare celeriac (you mean celery root? what’s with everyone and celery root lately? i mean, it’s okay, it’s pretty good, but y’all need to stop with making certain foods fads and then doing them to death à la pistachio or almond)

48. Mum goes round for Sunday dinner rather than the other way round (she doesn’t really have a choice, so-)

49. Always read food magazines (because racing magazines are full of drama, music magazines can’t all have alex skolnick or joey belladonna, and science magazines are full of ads)

50. Owns set of fancy knives (they’re colorful, and my favorite is the blue one, does that count?)

[allcirclesvanish]

been a little obsessed with making spicy crab bowls lately since we usually have like 90% of the ingredients on hand. surimi crab is less expensive than beef in my area and takes less time to prepare which is a nice bonus. taking like 2 extra steps to have it over fresh sushi rice really takes it to another level.. i should take pictures next time we make it.

no measurements, just vibes on this one.

shred surimi crab, mix with mayo & sriracha to taste. add a little sesame oil, add crushed seaweed & sesame seeds and mix.

make sushi rice. serve in a bowl with the crab mix on top.

add avocado on the side

top everything with more sesame seeds or another crunchy topping

it's probably ok with regular rice too but the rice vinegar adds a lot to the whole experience. i think it would be good with some secondary sauce like eel sauce maybe... also probably good as temaki or something if you wanted to present it nicely.