#bad Harry Potter tattoo

[liminal-zeitgeist]

Plot fun

Two ideas to mess with the books:

SOMEone put Tom Marvolo Riddle's name in the Goblet of Fire under a separate school. Dumbledore: "As far as I am aware, Tom is no longer with the living, so he won't miss his magic."

A reminder (and spoiler, heads up): Harry died for the people in Hogwarts. If we draw the parallel to his mother's sacrifice on his behalf, while the spells missed the people initially, that effect will die away. What won't fade is that the touch of Death Eaters will burn both the Death Eater and their opposition. Unless they do a freaky resurrection ritual with the blood of all those people.

And a bonus: if Tom Riddle is too much of a risk, why not toss good old Barty Crouch Jr. into the competiton? He was going to be trouble anyway. Dumbledore could respond much the same, although I'd imagine he'd be a bit more confused by this one.

[meangirls-imagines]

Welcome to the Poly!Plasticsverse!

collab with: @yungpoetfics (my fav bubs in the world)

Regina George

@queenbgina/@callmereginald (she/her)

North Shore's Queen Bee

Soft for her girlfriends

The mom of the group

Basically a sugar mommy for her girls

Lifehack Geek

TikTok hater

Has rational fear of werewolves

Will fight a bitch

Victoria's Secret girly

Female rapper stan (Doja, Cardi, Megan, etc.)

Gryffindor

Lesbian

Gretchen Wieners

@thegretchenw/@greatgretsby (she/her/it (only if ur special))

The second mom of the group

Softest human

Loves playing with her girlfriends hair

#1 Twilight hater

Has a letterboxd account just to leave bad reviews

The level headed one usually, but will snap when she needs

Cuddly as fuck

Loves Fleur du Mal lingerie

Stubborn as Fuck

Wine drinker/expert

Loves vintage music (Elvis, Elton John, etc.)

Hufflepuff

Bisexual

Karen Shetty

@karebearz/@karensheetty (any pronouns)

Ambidextrous™️

Loves Spongebob

Plant Parent

Knows Britney Spears and Lady Gaga choreo

Kpop girly (Blackpink, BTS, etc.)

Lettering expert

Has Funko Pop collection

Squishmallow lover

Ravenclaw

Pansexual

Cady Heron

@cady_heron/@defnotcaddy (she/her)

The third mom of the group

Whispers when angry

Carries bandaids at all times

Always has snacks

Lactose Intolerant (but LOVES cheese)

Cries at Rom-Coms

LOVES hugs

Cannot handle spicy food

Sleeps with a teddy bear

Happy to be here

Friends with everyone's parents

Token vanilla of the group

Has diary (with a heart shaped lock)

Bisexual

Aaron Samuels

@aaronsammy/@atomicaaron (he/him) or (ho/mie)

1/3 of Terror Trio

Y/N's best friend

North Shore's resident Himbo

Will do anything if someone says "I dare you"

Impulsive buyer

Has one brain cell (shares it with Y/N)

Overuses 💪 emoji

Usually confused

1/2 Golden Retriever duo

Can skateboard

Uses Axe body spray

Co-founder of Stuntmares

Dreams of grabbing a teddy in a claw machine (bucket list item)

Ass man

Owns too many grey sweatpants

Kisses his homies (homiesexual)

Has never watched Harry Potter

Watches lifestyle coaches on YT

Can play the ukulele (really badly)

Loves Eminem and Harry Styles (would fuck Harry Styles)

Writes Larry Stylinson fanfics

Kissed Y/N once (regretted immediately)

Bisexual

Damian Hubbard

@hubbarddamian/@damianishubby (he/him/they)

Learned how to sew from Janis

Does drag and has a YT channel (Anita Dick)

Huge Adore Delano stan

Will fight anyone who hurts Janis

Doesn't like Rupaul as a person, but is a religious Drag Race fan

#1 Poly!Plastics fan

Has an 8 step skincare routine

Cameraman for Stuntmares

Earlybird

Lies about having curfew to go to sleep early

Ravenclaw

(Lowkey wishes he was a Slytherin bc it's the "cuntiest house"

Him and Karen watch The Bachelor

Fav movie is Dirty Dancing (did the lift with Janis)

Learned how to twerk from Y/N

Gay

Janis Imi'Ike

@janiisimiike/@imiikenough (she/they)

Secret Barbie girly(live action and animated movies)

Will go straight for Ryan Gosling

Feral chihuahua of the group

Hozier stan

HATES THE KARDASHIANS

Pain in Regina's ass

Anger Issues™️

Secretly loves Olivia Rodrigo

Mentally Ill friend

Emotional Drunk

Karaoke Queen

Tits girly

Leather Jacket lesbian

Getting piercings > therapy

Has a suit collection

Thrifter

Loves her friends

Dog person (secretly)

Quotes niche memes

Kinky af

Middle Child

Lesbian

Y/N Y/L/N (FC: Chrissy Costanza)

@thisbeyn/@reginaslefttit (she/he/they/it)

2/3 Terror Trio

2/2 Golden Retriever duo

Has matching fried egg tattoo with Aaron.

Co-Founder of Stuntmares

"Hi, I'm Y/N and welcome to Stuntmares" *jumps off roof into pool*

Cuts her own hair

Blooper Reel Queen

North Shore's resident stoner

AUDHD (autistic + ADHD)

Playlists range from Beethoven to ashnikko

"IT'S NOT A PHASE. IT'S A LIFESTYLE."

Demisexual

Plays electric guitar

Has slight speech impediment

Gremlin of the group

D&D Dungeon Master

ALWAYS falls asleep during movie night

Power Nap Addict™️

Insomniac

Monster Energy Drink Enthusiast (collects the cans)

Oddly good at Origami

Tweets everything she thinks

Has been banned from Fortnite and Roblox

Married to Gretchen on The Sims (regina and karen were sad)

Anger issues

✨Spicy✨ Latina (do not fuck with her people)

Matching rings with her gfs

Def had one night stand with Cady

Shane Oman

@shaneomann/@omantastic (he/him) or (dumb/hoe)

Loves Old School Rap (Biggie, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, etc.)

Hates Y/N at first but comes to love her like a sister.

Only person who can outsmoke Y/N.

Has a dropped truck with red LED lights under it.

Blasts music walking down the halls.

Always has the zoomies.

Orange cat friend.

Has elevator music playing in his head 24/7.

Challenged Damian to a dance off. (He lost. But he had girls simping over him)

Posts thirst traps on TikTok. (Regina's mom is his #1 follower)

Has a frying pan tattooed to match Aaron and Y/N.

Always on Stuntmares trying to create new world records.

Or eating a bunch of weird combos.

"Oman! Not again!" *proceeds to eat a marshmallow and spam sandwich*

Ralph Lauren man

Whenever the polycule argues, he's a "fuck this shit, I'm out" person.

Professional party crasher

Dine and Dash expert

Has nipple piercings (Aaron and Y/N dared him to get them)

Curses like a fucking sailor (Half of his lines on Stuntmares are just censor beeps)

Talks way too fast.

Knows Italian and Spanish (Him and Y/N talk shit in Spanish)

His ringtone for Aaron and Y/N is the remix of the Windows error sound

Loves t-shirts with offensive prints (Regina tries to make him dress normally)

Has gc with Aaron and Y/N called "Hoemies"

Would fuck Aaron

TICKLISH

Major gossip (Him and Gretchen meet once a week to talk shit)

[petals2fish]

Taylor Swift Boys And Their Corresponding Harry Potter Characters - A Summary

***For insurance purposes this is a joke

Joe Jonas: Gildroy Lockhart - arrogant. Fumbles his career. Toxic AF when he doesn’t get his way.

Tom Hiddleston: Remus Lupin. - Can play a cocky bastard but is actually a cinnamon roll. Will bring you home to meet his mother on the third date. Definitely a bottom.

Taylor Lautner: Harry Potter - sweet. Athletic. Hero complex. Marries a girl who had posters of him in her room growing up.

John Mayer: Voldemort. - Has googled how to stay young. Doesn’t believe in true love. Will send his lawyers after you if you use his name publicly shaming him.

Drew: Ludo Bagman. - very basic. Childhood crush. Pretty Forgettable. Probably became head of finance or something idk.

Jake Gyllenhaal: Fenrir Greyback - a little too hairy. Smells girls’ scarves. Self inflicted bad guy syndrome. Does not own a toothbrush.

Conner Kennedy: Neville Longbottom - pure blood trust fund baby. Can’t do long distance. Loves his grandmother. Not the most handsome, or the most smart, but he does have a heart.

Harry Styles: Sirius Black. - owns a motorbike. Tattoos everywhere. Every one loves him. Loyal AF.

Calvin Harris: Peter Pettigrew. - Can’t keep a secret. Can’t share credit on projects. Hangs with cool people but isn’t actually very cool.

Joe Alwyn: Severus Snape - social skills are zero. Hates having photos taken. His crush was too cool for him. Will die mad about it.

Matty Healy: Stan Shunpike - has a sailors mouth. Never shuts up. Needs a smoke break right now. Acne problem, probably.

Travis Kelce: James Potter. - football team colors are red and gold. Hosts a podcast with his brother where they joke around for hours. Crushed on the same woman for years before she finally started dating him.

[mymiraclealigner]

If you didn't know me like you do | Professor!Remus Lupin x reader

summary: Remus and his ex-student have gotten really close during the Christmas Break

tw: smut (+18), thigh riding, implicit legal age gap.

word count: 2,845

Grimmauld Place held a warm light at Christmas time. Everyone from the Order was gathered between the tall, wallpapered, rotted walls of the ancient house, filling it with tender laughs and chatter while exchanging presents and hot mulled wine.

This year, Y/n’s parents decided to spend the cold months of December and January in a tropical wonder, leaving her in the care of the famous Weasley family. They were lifelong friends of her parents and, even though she was a bit older than the twins and didn’t really spend time with them —besides at parties—, she got along with the ginger clan.

That's how the witch found herself beating Harry and Ron in exploding snap, pranking the old thief Mundungus with the twins, and having long and fun sleepovers with Ginny and Hermione some nights of the Christmas break. Professors were also around, and some were more approachable than others: Severus left pretty clear he didn’t want to be bothered, but Minerva was open to answering questions about the holiday assignments, and Hagrid had no problem advancing the topics he would teach after the break either.

There was also Remus, but he was something more than an academic figure. He was not only there willing to give Y/n book recommendations and suggest grammatical corrections in her final-year essays. He was also there lifting her spirit with bad jokes after Order reunions, asking her if she wanted more butterbeer with his eyes at the dinner table, and listening to her ramble about her dreams and aspirations late at night with a cold cup of tea in one of his hands —the other, barely grazing her pinky.

Remus and Y/n had created an inexplicable bond between them that had formed based on similar interests and sexual tension disguised as genuine concern for each other.

Each one had their problems: Remus was still affected by his deployment in Hogwarts, the transformations were tougher each month, and living again with his best friend was not as fun as he remembered: Sirius came back with a lot of tattoos, resentment towards Remus for believing the lies and an underlying sentiment of guilt for what happened to the Potters. Y/n was dealing with the stress of facing the OWLs and the working life, a brewing war that blinded her vision for the future and threatened her hopes of a normal life, and the imminent feeling of abandonment that her absent parents put in her chest.

They managed to find comfort in each other and they casually started spending more time together very quietly, very subtly. No one read Y/n's expressions like Remus, and no one felt Remus' words as Y/n did; so they started to have conversations in secluded places of the creaking house, where not even the portraits could listen.

Of course, those conversations were filled with listening ears and understanding nods, but also with thirsty lips and fidgety hands. It might have been difficult for the others to spot the magnetic chemistry between them, but it was crystal clear for anyone who would stop to analyze the shine in their eyes when they hung into each other's words.

The young witch had never felt a stronger knot create in her lower belly every time Remus brushed her hip to pass to the other side of the hall, or a hotter blush grow in her cheeks when he rolled up the sleeves of his dressing shirt to reveal strong scarred arms.

He was also down bad, even if he tried to hide it. He had managed to perfect the crossing legs method to hide his erection from his ex-student, and sometimes he couldn't correct the direction of his eyes, which always diverted to the curviness of her hips or the brown spot on her neck.

She secretly found his admiration for her body hilarious; even if he didn't make it obvious, she could see the delicate way he contemplated her moving arms and hair, and her moving lips the most. She loved to be appreciated with that devotion, she had never felt that before.

One cold night, after what Y/n perceived was a stressful Order meeting, they sat on the comfortable, almost broken sofa in front of the library's fireplace. The flames exuded a warmth that made the witch remove her woolen sweater and Remus was finding it hard not to succumb to his desire to caress her tanned collarbone.

The bitter green tea and thoughtful state of mind sparked a pessimist conversation that included Nietzsche quotations and laments about the world and the terrible situation witches and wizards of England were in with the shadow of the Dark Lord stalking the safety of people.

That obscure life beyond the comforting room seemed pointless to go through for a second. So many horrors and injustices were occurring around her in that moment, and Y/n's awareness immersed her imagination in despicable hypotheticals that involved her tortured body, and Remus' body too, who was sitting a few meters away from her.

"Sometimes I wish we weren't real," she sighed and propped her head on the back of the couch.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I wish we didn't exist, that we weren't known. That we weren't even born."

"I understand why you wouldn't want yourself to exist, I have had that feeling myself before, believe me. My question is more why you want to drag me with you to non-existence?"

Remus laughed a bit, he would always be surprised by her interesting thoughts. She had a way of seeing the world he couldn't grasp and that kept him on a fun, uneasy expectation.

Y/n was relieved to see that the werewolf had moved the conversation somewhere else, where she wouldn't have to think about the darkness of the world around them.

"Because I don't think there would be a you without me," Remus' eyebrows went up. "Don't give me that look! I-I expressed myself badly… forget it."

Y/n felt her face flush and her eyes water; the one time she decided to be philosophically flirty she messed it all up. She thought she should have just sewn her mouth shut.

"No, none of that. Try to express what you meant," Remus came dangerously close to her, increasing the heavy feeling that burnt the witch's skin.

The girl sat down straight touching his thigh with hers and, after a long sigh, she answered.

"I meant that you wouldn't be the person you are or have the thoughts you've had if you hadn't met me the way you do," Y/n was nervously picking at the skin around her thumb, avoiding Remus' stare.

"What do you think I'd be like?"

"Miserable," she joked. Remus chuckled. "I just think you wouldn't ask yourself certain things."

"Things like what?" Remus brought his shaking hand up to put behind her ear a piece of hair that had fallen in the side of her face.

Suddenly the temperature in the library went up, but it wasn't because the fire in front of them burned more intensely. The reality of an awful world truly disappeared from Y/n's thoughts completely; the warm spot in her chest was speaking louder than pain.

"Like…" the girl silenced herself for a second, and then took a big breath to mutter the bravest thing: "whether to kiss me and disobey every rational voice in your head, or bring more tea to calm yourself down and avoid that thought."

A maddening silence stilled everything in the room; the particles of dust, the creaking wood and Y/n’s breathing stopped in time.

Remus turned around to check that the silver tea set was still resting in the small, fancy desk next to the window; if he were to reach it, he would have to get up and break the intimate bubble the two of them had entered.

"Yeah, you are right, I do ask myself that a lot. The kettle is too far, though."

The nervous girl turned around slowly fearing the possibility of her understanding. Their minds were close in thought, and he had unconsciously moved close to the point where she could feel Remus' breath in her cheek, and see a sparkle in his eyes.

"So, no tea this time?"

"No, not tonight I think," he whispered with a serious expression.

Burying his scarred hand behind her ear and into her hair, he brought his nose to her. He ignored the screams of his reason telling him to get away, and teased her opened lips by rubbing noses; she thought that that is how it must feel to kiss a ghost.

The impatient little whine that fell from her mouth gave Remus the final push to press his lips onto hers. She started moving them slowly, trying to mask her desperation for him and all thoughts erased from the werewolf's mind. There was nothing more in the universe than the sweet taste of that girl's mouth. His tongue gracefully licked hers, producing a twitch of her hips and she imitated the movement of his mouth, just like he had demonstrated.

She was eager for more and Remus could smell it. It was driving him insane, but he wanted to leave up to her whether his hand was worthy of something more than the touch of her shiny hair. Just like she had just read his mind, she pulled herself closer to him, squeezing his arm to signal a need for physical contact. Remus placed his hand behind her shoulder, moving her body towards his direction; and without any warning or precaution, Y/n turned herself to him, sitting on one of his thighs.

She separated slightly from him. His hands were now holding her waist in place and they could feel each other's breath from how close they remained. A silent conversation of whether this was real or not started. Their eyes weren't discussing the actual actions, but the tangible desire behind them and the not-so-innocent intentions.

While trying to assimilate that they both wanted this, Y/n started to rub herself against his thigh, searching for a pleasure only he could give her, she was sure. Remus squeezed her sides, trying to avoid the inevitable, and hopeful that she would notice he was not worthy of such pleasure. He closed his eyes, repeating to himself that he should not be enjoying this, that this was just a dream.

"Look at me, please," Y/n said slightly out of breath, Remus' eyes remained shut. "Come on, don't you think I'm pretty?"

Of course he thought she was pretty, and smart, and fun, and so many other things. But this was wrong; it was wrong not only the fact that he doubled her age, but that she deserved someone more capable of giving her love and attention. He was emotionally unavailable to shower her with love, and he wasn't going to be the one breaking her heart.

"Remus, do you not want this?" her hips halted, and his eyes opened immediately, "because I understand if you just think I'm too immature and inexperienced, a-"

"Of course I want this" the words flew straight out of his heart skipping his reason, but he didn't regret what he said.

Y/n didn't waste more time and rushed to grab his face to feel his lips on hers. Remus tightened his grip on her hips and forced himself to forget anything outside the library. In that precise moment, there was only he and Y/n, and his mind shouldn't get distracted from anything else. Nothing was more important than her right then and there.

Now Remus' arms were the ones guiding the movement of her hips back and forth. She bunched the fabric that covered his shoulders in her hands, trying to hide the moans to express her pleasure; the seam in her jeans had found her spot perfectly and the rubbing against Remus' strong thigh was stimulating her just the right way. Sweat started to emanate from her frown and her eyebrows moved up involuntarily, her panting was creating in Remus a hot feeling in his chest and he wanted to feel her warm cunt closer to his leg.

"Take off the jeans," her hands flew instantly to the button on the front, and Remus helped her take one leg out of her jeans so she wouldn't completely fall off his lap.

Remus appreciated how her simple light gray underwear clad to her hips. He followed the sewn end of the fabric with his fingers, from where her legs met her hip, through the middle of her buttocks, until her center. She was wet and the gray of her panties evidenced it blatantly. The werewolf rubbed his fingers on the wet spot before the witch forced herself to sit right on top of the evident bulge in his pants.

The girl started moving slowly again trying to stroke his cock with her middle effectively. Remus stiffened as a reaction to the pleasure he was receiving and that he craved for a very long time before. He was rock hard underneath her, and she took that as an advantage to rock herself against him with more intensity, making it difficult for the two of them to stay quiet.

Remus trespassed the fabric of her underwear and firmly grabbed her bottoms to get some control. The now panting girl searched Remus' lips to comfort herself because there was something forming in her stomach and in her chest stronger than anything she had felt before.

Yes, of course Y/n had touched herself before, in Grimmauld Place it had been difficult to find alone time, but the shower was always a good place of peace where she could visualize her previous DADA professor turning her over a desk and taking a firm hold of her hips. However, she had never really had an orgasm, she usually stopped when it'd get too good because her hands would start shaking and her legs would get some funny, unbearable ticklish feeling.

Her core started getting wetter and wetter and Remus couldn't hide his grunts; he imagined being inside her and his cock twitched embarrassingly.

He lowered his kisses to her chin, then her jaw leaving a sweet purple mark close to her ear. He continued going down, taking more time in that precious mole on her neck, until reaching the swell of her chest. He removed a hand from her moving bottoms and brought it up, with the intention of lowering the hem of her v-neck top.

When Remus started kissing and licking her nipples, Y/n held to his head and cuddled herself against him moving more desperately on him.

She was also imagining having him inside of her, close to his skin, without clothes between their bodies. She wondered what his chest looked like; maybe it was as scarred as his face, or maybe it was full of tattoos like Sirius'. What she knew with certainty was that it was hairy since some hair always peeked from the top of his shirt, and that it was very strong from the way he held her to him.

The werewolf's hips rose softly, following the girl's hip movements with a mouthful of her breast. Both him and her weren't containing their sights of pleasure and were just as close to climax.

Y/n grabbed a handful of Remus's slicked back hair to announce she couldn't bear much more of the pleasure, and he responded by bringing one hand to her hair to pull her close to his face. The closeness permitted them to look into each other's mouths with tired pants and a feral urge to crash lips.

"R-Rem, I think I-I," the witch could barely mutter a word, the divine sensation in her center started crawling up her back and arms, making them weak and wobbly as her voice.

"I know, love. Me too. Be a good girl and cum for me," he whispered, swallowing a moan from how good she felt on top of him.

Just before her legs gave up, an electrocuting sensation tickled her neck and stiffened her whole body. The witch came letting out a surprised little scream with her head buried in his shoulder; she had definitely never felt something like that.

“Good girl, yeah, good girl,” he panted as she rode him through her orgasm.

Remus welcomed all the weight of her body in his chest and, unannounced, came in his dressing pants from the lazy movements the girl was making on him to elongate her climax. He joined her ecstasy with satisfied little grunts and a fist holding her hair. Both entered a hazy, dreamy state where nothing could be bad and words were too complicated to pronounce.

The girl raised her head to meet Remus' eyes. He, ignoring the small circle of drool that she had left on his upper sleeve, gave her a smile and held her by the neck to kiss her sweet lips, certainly not for the last time.

[julsvu]

Hiiii I dunno if your still taking requests but could you write headcanons for leo valdez x daughter of hecate who has a pet dog (cause their hecates sacred animal ofc) and maybe has a lot of tattooes? Thx sm <3

(No pressure)

leo valdez x daughter of hecate! reader

📒: headcanons, fluff <3, making out is mentioned once

he's absolutely enamored by you

at first he was lowkey intimidated because of your godly parent but the moment he got to talk to you he could feel himself melt?? bro was questioning if he was still fireproof at this rate

he ABSOLUTELY loves your dog (your dog probably barked at him at first sight though 😭)

gifts your dog little accessories or trinkets, as well as you!! for example, a new collar or a lead for ur dog, and a necklace for u

i feel like your dog would appear randomly everytime you and leo are making out?? idk man i feel it'd just be standing in the corner, lurking

leo prays for his life

leo walks around saying harry potter picks up lines to you so casually

HE'D GIVE YOU ONE OF THOSE HOGWARTS LETTERS AS A JOKE I SWEAJRJRR

but instead of the letter saying "congrats, you've been accepted into hogwarts!" it'd say, "congrats, you've accepted into Leo Valdez's heart, the bad boy supreme!" with a little wink under the text

scared of your siblings bcs he doesn't wanna accidentally piss them off and make himself hit the magical ball that turns people into a pig

because of that, you two resort into sneaking off into small remote spots in the camp instead of into eachothers' cabins

bro calls the spot "our spot" !! he gatekeeps it IMMENSELY

how is he gonna gatekeep a public place? he just can.

since children of Hecate have the ability to shift themselves into the persona of 3 different people, i feel like he'd definitely fall in love with you 10000x more whenever he sees you shift into "The Mother" which basically is used to soothe anyone

he falls asleep immediately after hearing your voice in that form

he is also IN LOVE with your tattoos.

once tried to doodle a copy of your tattoos on his arm 😭 (he gave up when he smudged it once)

since he couldn't doodle it properly on his arm, he doodles it on multiple machines he'd make, like a little contribution for you

it's really noticeable too, he does NOT hide his love for you at all

if your tattoos have like little gaps or aren't fully colored, he fills in the gaps every time he could, drawing a small marker from his hand and colouring it in

when he's in a bad mood, he runs off to find you and snuggles his face into your neck, tracing your tattoos with his index finger while his other arm is wrapped around your waist

he also definitely asks you what the stories of your tattoos are, why you got them, or how it felt like when you got them

he always ends up debating whether or not to get a matching tattoo with you

eventually, when your relationship had been going on for at least six months, you guys got a matching tattoos

when you guys got matching tattoos, he was so so so giddy 😭 showing the tattoo off to the seven or anyone that'll listen to him

the relationship would be so 'sunshine x sunshine protector' coded for real

© 2024 JULSVU. all rights reserved. please don't plagiarize, translate, put in other websites or copy my work without permission. ty!

[will80sbyers]

Do you still have the list of movies that inspired ST4? I had a picture of it but I lost it and I haven't been able to find it since. Please and thank you in advance.

Yep!

Long post warning lol

300

2001: A Space Odyssey

47 Meters Down: Uncaged

12 Monkeys

28 Days Later

13th Warrior

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

Altered States

Amelie

American Sniper

Analyze This

Annihilation

Aristocats

Armageddon

Assassins Creed

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Arrival

Almost Famous

Batman Begins

Batman V. Superman

Basket Case

Battle at Big Rock

Beauty and the Beast

Beetlejuice

Behind Enemy Lines

Beverly Hills Cop

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey

Billy Madison

Black Cauldron

Black Swan

Boondock Saints

Borat

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Burn After Reading

Broken Arrow

Blade Runner

C.H.U.D

Con Air

Cast Away

Congo

Constantine

Children of Men

Cabin in the Woods

Crank

Casablanca

Carrie

Crimson Tide

Clueless

Dukes of Hazzard

Don’t Breathe

Death to Smoochy

Doom

Dark Knight

Dogma

Deep Blue Sea

Dreamcatcher

Drop Dead Fred

Die Hard

Die Hard 2

Die Hard 3

Don’s Plum

Dances with Wolves

Dumb and Dumber

Edward Scissorhands

Enter the Void

Ex Machina

Event Horizon

Emma (2020)

Forrest Gump

Fargo

Fisher King

Full Metal Jacket

Ferris Bueller

Fallen

Fugitive

Ghost

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Ghostbusters

Good Fellas

Girl Interrupted

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Get Out

Good Will Hunting

Hackers

High Fidelity

Hellraiser 1

Hellraiser 2

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Hidden

High School Musical

Hurt Locker

Heat

Hunger Games

Highlander

Hell or High Water

Home Alone

I am Legend

It’s a Wonderful Life

In Cold Blood

Inception

I am a Fugitive from Chain Gang

Inside Out

Island of Doctor Moreau

It Follows

Interview with a Vampire

Inner Space

Into the Spiderverse

Independence Day

Jupiter Ascending

John Carter of Mars

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

James Bond (All Movies)

Julie

Karate Kid

Knives Out

Kingsmen

Little Miss Sunshine

Labyrinth

Long Kiss Goodnight

Lost Boys

Leon: The Professional

Let the Right One In

Little Women (1994)

Mad Max: Fury Road

Magnolia

Men in Black

Mimic

Matrix

Misery

My Cousin Vinny

Mystic River

Minority Report

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Neverending Story

Never Been Kissed

No Country for Old Men

Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

North by Northwest

Open Water

Orange County

Oceans 8

Oceans 11

Oceans 12

One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Ordinary People

Paddington 2

Platoon

Pulp Fiction

Papillon

Pan’s Labyrinth

Pineapple Express

Peter Pan

Princess Bride

Paradise Lost

Primal Fear

Prisoners

Peter Jackson’s King Kong

Reservoir Dogs

Ravenous

Rushmore

Road Warrior

Rogue One

Reality Bites

Raider of the Lost Ark

Red Dragon

Robocop

Shooter

Sky High

Swingers

Sword in the Stone

Step Up 2

Spy Kids

Saving Private Ryan

Shape of Water

Swept Away

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Superbad

Society

Swordfish

Stoker

Splice

Silence of the Lambs

Source Code

Sicario

Se7en

Starship Troopers

Scrooged

Splash

Silver Bullet

Speed

The Visit

The Italian Job

The Mask of Zorro

True Lies

The Blair Witch Project

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Tangled

The Craft

The Guest

The Devil’s Advocate

The Graduate

The Prestige

The Rock

Titanic

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Fly

Tombstone

The Mummy

The Guardian

The Goofy Movie

The Peanut Butter Solution

Toy Story 4

The Ring

The Crazies

The Mist

The Revenant

The Perfect Storm

The Shining

Terminator 2

The Truman Show

Temple of Doom

The Cell

To Kill a Mockingbird

Timeline

The Good Son

The Orphan

The Birdcage

The Green Mile

The Raid

The Cider House Rules

The Lighthouse

The Book of Henry

The A-Team

The Crow

The Terminal

Thor Ragnarok

Twister

The Descent

The Birds

Total Recall

The Natural

The Fifth Element

True Romance

Terminator: Dark Fate

The Hobbit Trilogy

Unforgiven

Unbreakable

Unleashed

Very Bad Things

Wayne’s World

What Women Want

War Dogs

Wedding Crashers

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

Welcome to the Dollhouse

Welcome to Marwen

Wet Hot American Summer

What Lies Beneath

What Dreams May Come

War Games

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Weird Science

Willow

Wizard of Oz

Wanted

Young Sherlock Holmes

You’ve Got Mail

Zodiac

Zoolander

[mybutcheredtongue]

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around My Gravestone is Deceased

harry potter timeline sirius black x fem!reader

CHAPTER ELEVEN (see full series list here)

1993

You find yourself sitting in the Tower again. You dangle a string of wool in front of Dubh and she joyfully bats at it with her front paws. You smile lovingly at her, chuckling when she misses the wool and lands on your knee instead. The sky above you has darkened, and you look out over the grounds.

It's the best view in the castle, of course. You get to see the near-entirety of the grounds in all its glory. The Black Lake is still and calm; the tree' leaves are swaying lazily in the light evening breeze; the dark, scruffy dog is pattering across the grass...

You blink, and the dog is gone. You sigh, falling back to the floor and lying down, staring up at the sky above you.

Twinkling lights dot the sky above you, winking at you. Part of you likes to think that those stars have souls. That they can see you right now, and are wondering why you're admiring them so much. To them, they're just balls of gas. To you, they're the most beautiful thing in the world.

You think on the day, remembering your visit to Hagrid early this morning. The poor man was in bits, all torn up over Buckbeak. Hagrid doesn't deserve such stress and worry, and neither does Buckbeak.

A few clouds are scattered around, passing over the bright, full moon. Your mind turns to Remus: he is no doubt sitting in his office right now, all wolfish, probably having a hankering for red meat. You offered to stay with him on full moons, but he refused. Despite the Wolfsbane potion allowing him to keep his mind during the transformation, rendering him harmless, he stipulated that he wanted to be alone, just in case something went wrong.

You don't want him to be alone, but you respect his wishes anyway.

You've known Remus is a werewolf for a very long time. You weren't even meant to find out about Remus' lycanthropy, but you used to get so worried about him at school. He was always exhausted, always disappearing on full moons, not eating well...it had gotten to the point where you cornered him in the library and expressed your concerns for him. You asked him to tell you what was wrong because you couldn't watch any longer, worried that something bad was keeping him up at night.

And, well, you weren't wrong. But he confided in you, just like he had his other friends, and from then on you did everything you could to help him. While the boys spent full moons with him, you ensured he got enough rest during the remainder of the month, made him his favourite teas, helped with keeping his secret secure...he became like a brother to you.

Your school days are something you treasure immensely. Everything was just so right. When you and Sirius starting dating Christmas of your sixth year, everything clicked into place. It felt like you had another family at Hogwarts.

You and Sirius whispered to each other during late nights in the common room, and you would trace the outlines of his tattoos as you listened to him talk.

You, Lily, and Alice shared things together that you never could share with anyone else.

You and Remus played chess with each other and always forgot about using strategy, instead choosing to just try and annihilate as many of the other's pieces as possible.

You and James played Exploding Snap, which always ended with the ends of his hair singed and him sulking when he lost.

You helped Peter prepare himself for his first date, making sure he was mentally ready and feeling confident.

Life was much simpler.

The clouds part and the moon reveals itself, casting a glow around it. In the distance, you hear a wolf howling, and for a moment you think it's Remus, before you shake your head. He's in his office, probably sleeping it off right now.

Speaking of sleep, you feel extremely comfortable where you are right now. You let your eyelids drift shut and fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

You wake some time later, the cold air nipping at your arms. You sit up groggily, yawning. You nudge Dubh and she wakes, getting up to follow you out of the Tower. As you're opening the door to your room, you realise you left your wand up there and quickly run back up the stairs to grab it.

You locate the item on your desk, stuffing it into your pocket, momentarily getting distracted by a scuff mark on the desk, wondering how that got there.

There's a heavy thud from the other side of the room.

You look up.

Your heart stops.

There, at the railing, is Buckbeak, Hagrid's giant Hippogriff. And on his back is Harry, Hermione, and...Sirius. He hops down, facing you.

You lock eyes and your name rolls off his tongue softly, and never has it sounded so perfect.

He's wearing shabby Azkaban clothes, which are ripped and tattered everywhere. His skin is dirty and his face is sunken with dark bags under his eyes. He's grown a beard and his hair has gotten even longer, but has become matted.

"Sirius?" you choke, frozen in place. "Are you really there?"

He nods, a small smile on his face. "Yes, my love. I'm here."

You take a tentative step forward, unsure really whether you are dreaming or not. The rational part of your brain is telling you to stop, to run in the other direction — this is a convict in front of you, after all!

But your heart makes all the decisions for you. It reaches out, desperately trying to get to its other half because truly, you were half a heart without him.

Your steps are slow and it feels like hours have passed before you finally stop in front of him. You hesitantly reach out, placing your hand against his chest.

"Please, tell me I'm not dreaming," you whisper.

Sirius brings his hand up to cover yours, moving it to press over where his heart is, where you can feel his racing heart beat. You can see a scar on his pinky finger, one he told you he got during a game of 'Pin the Tail on Kreacher' with Regulus when he was eight.

You feel tears prick your eyes, looking back into the face of the man you love more than anything in the world. You bring shaky hands up to his face, holding it delicately, like you're afraid he's going to break.

"I missed you," you say softly. "I missed you so much, Sirius."

"I missed you too," he replies. "How is it that you look just as beautiful today as you looked on our wedding day?"

You give a watery chuckle, sniffling. "Sirius Black, forever the flirt."

You lean forward and press your lips against his. This, this feeling. The overwhelming sense of feeling right where you belong, in the arms of the man you love. His lips are chapped but you don't care. His skin is rough but you don't care. His beard scratches against you but you don't care. You don't care about anything other than the fact that he's here with you. He's finally here.

"Please, darling..." he starts, taking a deep breath and gazing at you. "It wasn't me. I promise you with everything I have to give that I didn't kill those people, I was never a Death Eater — "

"I know."

" — I would never do that to James and Lily — "

"I know."

He pauses, looking at you in surprise. "You know?"

"I know, Siri," you say gently. "I believe you, I trust you. I know you. I've spent the last twelve years of my life believing you're innocent. I know you would never do that."

He opens his mouth to say something but can't seem to find the words. "You — you smart girl. My smart girl. My perfect, smart, beautiful girl..."

His eyes are brimming with tears as he keeps them fixed on you, before he pulls you into his chest and holds you tightly, burying his face in your hair.

"I love you. I love you. I love you so much," he says, kissing your cheek. "Going so long without you has been torture."

"It's been torture for me too," you reply. "I love you. I love you more than anything, Sirius." You smile at him before adding, "And you have seriously got to take a shower. Why don't you come down to my room and get all cleaned up?"

Sirius pulls away, giving you an uncertain look and you sigh. He glances back at Harry and Hermione, who you've pretty much forgotten are even there.

"We...don't have a lot of time left," Hermione says apologetically.

"I'm sorry, my love," Sirius says, pressing his forehead against yours. "I have to go."

You clutch onto his arms desperately, shaking your head. "No, no. You — you can't go. You can't leave me again, Sirius. No, please. Please. Please don't do this to me again. Why leave when I've just found you again?"

Tears stream down your face and Sirius reaches out to brush them away with his thumb. "I have to, darling. The Ministry'll be here any moment now, looking for me. I can't put you in danger like that."

"I'll come with you!" You try. "Please, we can go away together — we'll figure something out, just please, don't leave me again. I've been without you for too long, please — "

"I can't do that to you," he says weakly. "You have to stay."

"Sirius, please — "

"Stay," he says, kissing your forehead. "I'll find you again. I will always find my way back to you, no matter how far."

You let out a quiet sob and kiss him again, desperate for even the slightest bit of contact with him to remind you that you actually have him here with you.

"Please, darling. Stay here," he tells you firmly. "You'll be okay."

"I just — I've been waiting for this for too long," you say weakly. "I hoped I'd have you for longer."

He brings you hand to his lips, kissing your fingers lovingly. "I know, I know. We'll meet again and then — it'll be like I never left."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He lets go of you, and it takes all of your willpower not to grab ahold of him again and never let go. Harry and Hermione jump off of Buckbeak, looking at each other awkwardly.

Sirius pulls Harry in for a hug, smiling proudly at him. "You are — truly your father's son, Harry."

Hermione looks at her watch nervously. "Quick, quick, you don't have time!"

Sirius takes one last glance back at you as he climbs up onto Buckbeak's back. He sends a wink your way and you shake your head amusedly, sighing.

He squeezes Buckbeak's sides with his heels. The enormous wings of the Hippogriff rise and you step back slightly, watching as it takes off into the air. Sirius and Buckbeak steadily become smaller and smaller until a cloud drifts past and...they're gone.

You swallow hard, sniffling as you brush tears off your cheeks. Before they can leave, you grab Harry and Hermione and pull them both in for a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you both so much," you say. "You — you are the most wonderful children I have ever met — you brought him back to me, how did you ever do it? How can I ever thank you?"

"It's nothing, really — " Harry says sheepishly.

"Nothing? You have both just given me the best gift in the world," you say with a smile. Hermione is looking at her watch again and you let go. "Go, go on. You look like you have somewhere to be."

Hermione nods, grabbing Harry's arm and they turn to run down the stairs.

"Oh, and Harry!" You call after him. He stops for a second and you give him a smile. "Come find me when you have some free time. I'm sure you have a few questions to ask."

He nods affirmatively and they run off again.

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

"YOU!" Snape bursts into the Astronomy Tower, looking outraged. "You — what did you do?!"

You look up innocently from your desk, watching as Snape climbs to the top of the stairs, red-faced and angry. He's out of breath — you don't know if it's because he's angry or because walking up those stairs is about the most exercise he's gotten in a decade.

Behind him, comes Fudge and Dumbledore. Fudge is huffing and puffing, and when he reaches the top he lays a hand against the wall as he breathes in and out.

"You — you did something!" Snape snaps. "How else could he have escaped?"

"How else could who have escaped?"

"BLACK!"

"Well, I'd have a hard time getting him out of Azkaban, wouldn't I?"

Snape looks like he's about to burst. A vein is popping out in his neck and his eyes are bulging.

"HE — WAS — CAUGHT — AND — NOW — HE'S — GONE — "

"Wait, he was caught?" You ask, feigning oblivion.

Fudge nods. "Yes, we had caught him perfectly well...the Dementors were going to perform the Kiss — "

You slam your book down on the table, standing up from your chair, staring Fudge down. "Do you mean to say that the Dementors' Kiss was going to performed on my husband without my knowledge?"

Fudge visibly swallows, glancing at Dumbledore helplessly, who chooses to become fixated on one of the constellations on the wall.

"Well, er...we reviewed our options and seen that — um — we didn't have the time to inform you — "

"Bullshit," you spit. "You could have easily told me, you just weren't bothered, were you? Some Minister you are."

Fudge splutters, face going red.

Snape is still shaking with fury beside him. He jabs his finger in your direction. "YOU DID IT, I KNOW YOU DID — "

"That is enough, Severus. Why, the portrait of Eloria Floria in the corridor told us that she had not left the Tower since she first entered it three hours ago," Dumbledore says calmly.

Fudge glances at his watch. "Well, I suppose there is nothing more to it than that. I'd better go and notify the Ministry of this..."

Snape is seething. Absolutely seething. He gives one fuming look in your direction, before storming down the stairs once more. It's nearly comical because it's purely silent in the Tower but for the clunking of Snape's footfalls against the stairs, his anger evident in his heavy stomps.

It reminds you of a young child throwing a tantrum.

→ all kinds of interaction are appreciated ♡

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

->-> read chapter twelve here!

sorry for the shortish chapter but I just really wanted to get this one out. They've finally reunited!!!

+ a big thank you to my taglist loves for all their support and kindness:

@wholelottalove05 @izuoyarmin @carpe000diem @hyperspeedo

[bridenore]

HD fic recs - disability (physical) / illness

Here are a few drarry fic recs where either Harry or Draco is suffering from a physical disability or an illness, whether it is permanent or temporary. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl [114k]

Professor Malfoy’s world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

All the Ashes Like Leaves by @firethesound [21k]

Nothing about being the Chosen One had prepared Harry for this. With most of the population blinded and man-eating plants running amok, he can only stay close to his friends as they make their way to safety. Not that he’d call Malfoy a friend, but the end of the world does rather make their ongoing feud seem trivial. And it just figures that it took nothing short of an apocalypse to make Malfoy seem like less of a git.

Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 [91k]

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

Beds, Knobs, and Broomsticks by @fencer-x​ [46k]

A long-term mission to the Baltics that will take him far away from London sounds like the perfect time to cash in the embarrassing ‘Butler in the Buff’ coupon Harry received as a birthday gag gift—until Harry winds up injured in the field and sent home to recover three days into the mission, obliging him to endure one full month of inappropriate attentions from horny housekeeper Draco Malfoy.

Double Edged Sword by @romaine2424  [554k]

Harry thinks his life has been planned out, but the night he comes of age changes everything.  Now there are decisions to be made and a path to be chosen, and the choices before him will change the lives of everyone he knows.  But when destiny calls, Harry finds himself ready to listen. This is an epic story of the love between Harry and Draco.  Join them as they journey through their life together, through the good times and the bad, facing obstacles both external and internal, and see how they come to be who they were meant to be.

fly like paper, high like planes by @harryromper [47k]

Harry Potter, Head Coach of the Appleby Arrows, is very content leading a quiet life. He has a doddery old house-elf who makes his breakfast, a team of players who love Quidditch almost as much as he does, and a Kneazle that curls against his damaged leg at the foot of his bed at night. The absolute last thing he needs is a fit, tattooed, and wildly talented Draco Malfoy back from living his life on the margins. Soon he’s dealing with goblins for the first time since the war, traveling to Prague, eating dodgy squid, and maybe, just maybe, accepting that Quidditch, Malfoy, and even Harry himself are still capable of change.

A Fruit Tree in Winter by bryoneybrynn [29k]

After failing in his task of killing Dumbledore, life doesn’t go as Draco expected. Sometimes just surviving takes everything you’ve got. And sometimes healing is something you can’t do alone. Story goes AU/AR from the end of Half-Blood Prince.

Hades Paradox by @romaine2424 [32k]

For reasons unknown to most, Draco Malfoy came to Hogwarts soon after the battle and for five years had never left its premises. Auror Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts to deal with his psychological daemons, but soon realises Professor Draco Malfoy has his own magical and physical daemons to deal with. However, much to Harry’s surprise, Draco is coping well with help from the person Harry aspires to be.

The Homecoming of Harry Potter by @vaysh11 [5k]

Harry Potter returns to Britain after four years of exile. He is accompanied by his lover and friend, the young man who brought down Voldemort.

I dream of you, to wake by @harryromper [13k]

“Typically coma patients are made comfortable and left to regain consciousness in their own time,“ Draco points out carefully.  “Typically, yes. But when has anything about Harry been typical.” Hermione sighs, rubbing at her eye with the heel of her hand. “The Healer-in-Charge has consulted with experts at all the major wizarding hospitals. They all agree. Whatever’s happening inside of Harry’s head right now is killing him.” Draco Malfoy is a world-renowned dream-walker, and he may be Harry Potter’s only hope.

Kaleidoscope by Saras_Girl [104k]

If Harry’s honest, the last thing he needs is a house full of Draco Malfoy, but partners are partners, and perhaps, the thing he wants the least will turn out to be absolutely everything.

Match Fit by  @ravenclawsquill  [25k]

After picking up a groin injury just two weeks before the Quidditch World Cup Final, star Seeker Harry Potter reluctantly agrees to seek help from world-renowned Magi-Physiotherapist, Draco Malfoy. Cue sexual tension, naked sports massages, inappropriate erections and a healthy dose of acid-green lycra.

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by @lordhellebore [82k]

When Harry is forced to form a Blood Bond with Draco Malfoy under threat of death, he thinks his future will consist of a cold home and sexual frustration. But when a group of left-over Death Eaters decides to stir trouble, their lives change completely – and it takes them both some years to figure out whether it’s for better or for worse.

Oh, Sinnerman by @lou-isfake and @babooshkart [40k]

“I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”   He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood.  It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier [33k]

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils. If you are triggered by infidelity, this is not the fic for you.

Per Solum Lacuna: By Words Alone by Azhure [560k]

A set of enchanted journals bring solace to two very unlikely lost   souls. Whoever said the art of penmanship was lost? This is a wizarding twist on the old fashioned art of correspondence (or the modern art of Internet chatting). What will happen when the mystery writers finally   discover the identity of their counterpart? Join this star crossed pair as they obliviously chat to each other; along the way learning about   life and love. Find out what will happen when their own voyages of self discovery lead them to the most unlikely of places. This is eventual   HP/DM, but other pairings for the protagonists along their journey.

Renaissance by @dysonrules [33k]

Harry awakens after a long sleep to find things terribly changed. He’s not in an alternate universe… it just seems like it.

Turn by Saras_Girl [306k]

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Unkissed Kisses and Songs Never Sung by @femmequixotic [12k]

I sit silently in the shadows, staring at the tiny, pulsing ball of light that tells me my Harry’s still alive.

Vale Sanare by RurouniHime [23k]

Draco’s world gains a new component, just when he thought he’d sorted everything out.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exist | Chapter 7: 12 Grimmault Place

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): None this chapter [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

Come to the alley behind the Three Broomsticks

─ S.B.

This is the last letter you received from Sirius before the Christmas break. You knew that he couldn't just pick you up from King's Cross Station, with his status as an escapee from Azkaban. Harry gave you a brief one-over about the situation with Sirius, Harry's parents, and a man called Wormtail.

So, that's why you stand behind said pub, snow up to your ankles. A popping sound not far from you is head and you turn your head. 

"Professor Lupin?", you ask surprised, seeing your previous DADA teacher appear from nowhere. 

He smiles softly, putting his hands in his coat pocket, "Just Remus is alright. Or Lupin. I'm no longer your teacher."

You nod, grabbing your suitcase and turn your body fully towards the man. "I assume you're the one who brings me to Sirius?"

Lupin shushes you, looking around for any onlookers. You snap your mouth shut. Lupin holds his arm out for you to take, and you do it unsurely. There is a pull on your navel and gone you are.

Not a moment later, you appear on a doorstep. As you stumble forwards, unsteady on your feet. The door swings open and you fall inside. A yelp escapes your lips and a groan once you land on your face.

Two pairs of arms help you up and steady you on your feet. Embarrassed, you wipe your hair out of your face and look at Sirius.

You've never actually met him, only read his scratchy handwriting. He is pale with his cheeks and eyes slightly sunken into and dark hair that's well trimmed. His suit is big on him and tattoos peak from under his dress shirt. He's exactly like Harry described him.

But you also see the resemblance between you and him. It's in the eyes. You both have the same eyes and look in them.

Sirius is nervous. His hands can't stay still as he sees you take him in. And he can't help to do the same. Your hair is dishevelled, but he notices it looks wild nonetheless. You're dressed in a fluffy sweater and well-tailored coat, mittens adorning your hands.

You're not sure what to say to Sirius. But thankfully you don't have to because Professor Lupin mumbles something about not leaving the house, to the both of you.

"Wait", you call out, turning to the man, "I need to do some Christmas shopping..."

Lupin sighs, pursing his lips before sighing again. "When?"

"I beg you a pardon?"

"When do you want to go shopping? I'll pick you up, bring you to wherever you want to go shopping and I want you back in a certain amount of hours."

You swallow, just understanding the level of discreetness that comes with staying with an escapee. "Wednesday? Two o'clock for four hours?"

Lupin nods and turns around, disappearing with a pop.

"Let me... take you to your room", says Sirius after a moment of silence, the both of you not knowing what to say to each other. 

As you are about to reach for your suitcase, Sirius stops you. "I've got a house elf for that. KREACHER?!" Sirius bellows the name of the poor elf, and you flinch. Sirius notices and visibly looks bad.

You wave him off. "I'm sorry, it's okay... It just reminds me of how Uncle Luce used to treat our previous house elf; Dobby. Kind creature, but skittish thanks to how my family treated him."

Sirius' brows knit as he takes your suitcase himself, leading you up the staircase of the townhouse. "Uncle Luce? You're not talking about Lucious Malfoy, are you?"

You bite your bottom lip, glancing down at the dusty dark green runner on the wooden floor. You don't dare to look up, afraid of what Sirius' expression will be. "Uncle Lucious and Aunt Narcissa Malfoy", you admit in a small voice.

Going up another set of stairs, Sirius hums. "So, you're not Cissy's kid. And there is no way they would take in Andy's. So that means you are..."

He stops a couple steps up from you, turning around to look at you. Truly look at you. And he sees the true resemblance. There are no words needed, you understand what he implicates.

"Why aren't you called Lestrange then?" Sirius is blunt, an abhor for his cousin clearly in his eyes.

You know it's best to lie until you know he is safe to trust. And he won't murder you. Or call someone who will. "Because Rodolphus Lestrange isn't my father. I don't know who it is. Nobody knows, only Bellatrix. And she's locked up."

It's an easy lie. One you've told many, many times. It's a lie that seems to satisfy Sirius. 

He nods and continues his trek up the stairs, you in tow. He stops at a door and opens it. The door creaks and the room behind is dark and dusty. Nobody has lived in this house for a long time. And it shows. Everything is hanging on threads, from the curtains to the cushions on the bed. Mould grows on the ceiling and some floorboards look like they are ready to cave in if you even look at them.

"It's not much, but it's the best room so far", admits Sirius sheepishly.

You turn towards your cousin and smile. "It's great. Thank you. For letting me stay here during Christmas."

Sirius gives you a small smile, "it was no problem. I like the company. I'll leave you alone to it. To unpack and such. Feel free to roam around, no room is off-limits. I only ask you to knock on the doors before entering."

You nod and Sirius takes his leave, disappearing down the creaking staircase.

Closing the door behind you, you throw your suitcase on the bed. A dust cloud pouffes up and you cough. You open the curtains and open the window as wide as it goes, letting the fresh air fill the room.

A large four-poster bed is placed in the middle of the room against the wall, and an ottoman is at the foot of the bed. A desk is under the window with a chair. On the other side of the room, next to the oaken closet, is a reading chair that would have been quite comfortable before the moths have taken over. 

The colours of the room remind you of your dorm: dark, almost black wood and dark green colours. Obviously has House Black been a proud Slytherin family.

After unpacking and somewhat un-dusting the bed, you peek your head outside of the room, listening. The house creaks and groans, as if it breathes. They say a house lives after many generations have stayed in it. 

You're out to find the bathroom, a nifty thing if you have to pee in the night. You do as Sirius has said, and knock on the first door you want to open, waiting for a second or two out of respect, before you open it slowly. Another bedroom. 

After two more doors, you've found the bathroom. It's like the rest of the house; dark, dusty, and mouldy. But the water is running and even some hot wat streams out of the faucet after a minute. So that's good.

Making your way downstairs ─ leaving the exploring to another day ─ you end up in a large formal room with a family tree as wallpaper. Some faces are blacked out, and you trace the spot above Sirius' name.

"My mother did that."

You jump up in the air and turn around to face Sirius with wide eyes, your heart beating in your throat. Sirius says nothing but comes to stand next to you, his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

"The night I ran away to stay with the Potters, my mother erased me from the family tree. She has done the same to Andy." He points to another burn mark, between your mother and your aunt. Do you have another aunt?

"Why?", is all you ask.

The answer is simple. "Andromeda married a muggle-born."

Your eyes travel around the room, seeing not many blackened portraits. Looking back to Andromeda, you spot your mother. And under her...

"That's me." You reach out and touch your portrait. It's quite nicely done. "Is it enchanted?", you question.

Sirius nods. "One of our ancestors did many, many years ago. We don't even know anymore."

He suddenly straightens his back and turns towards you. "I've made some lunch. Do you want to join me?" Sirius looks unsure.

You smile up at him heartily. "I would love to."

Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry @choppedpartymuffinwinner @dianaswanda @literallyobessed @lestat-whore​ @vanishingcherry

[thesweetnessofspring]

Between the time the books Catching Fire and Mockingjay were released, it was a pretty common topic of discussion wondering what one word Peeta said to Katniss after she asked him to stay with her. "Always" was a very popular answer people gave, though I remember at the time just revolting at the idea because "always" had been tainted by Severus Snape and his creepy obsession with Lily Potter.

But the thing was...none of the other suggestions seemed to work (I even wrote this scene from Peeta's POV and used "course" as in "of course" but even that...didn't land quite right). Yet it honestly took me years to accept "always" as Peeta's response to this question because Harry Potter fans consistently linked it to Snape and even got tattoos of it. At the time it felt like THG and Peeta would never be able to compete with HP's popularity. But I've come around and seen that "always" is the only response Peeta could have given and to separate it from Snape.

How can Peeta say it to Katniss, even while she'd just before claimed to have chosen Gale, and have it come off sweet and caring but it's creepy for Severus Snape to say about Lily, who had chosen James?

There's the obvious fact that Snape called Lily a slur and joined an organization set on killing people like her while Peeta's never did anything like that toward Katniss while he was in his right mind, but it's not just that. And it's not that Snape's descriptions are less than flattering while Peeta comes across as handsome and charming. And it's not even that Lily didn't choose Snape while Katniss did choose Peeta.

It's that Peeta's devotion to Katniss is unconditional, while Snape's were conditional up until Lily's death when at that point she became Snape's memory rather than someone who could act and speak for herself. Really, Severus, where was "always" when you called her a slur, when you were serving Voldemort, when you were groveling to Dumbledore to save Lily but let James and Harry die, when you were abusing children as a teacher? Is that really "always"?

Whereas Peeta, well, first when he was hurt about Katniss not being sure of her feelings toward him and acted wounded, he properly apologized for it and then never did it again. He knew Katniss would want to bring Gale if they ran away and never guilted her about it. He came in to defend Gale when he was whipped. He saved Katniss when Peacekeepers came to question her. He got them ready for the Quell and protected her with the baby bomb. He was willing to give up his life so she could have the life he assumed she wanted (or would eventually want) with Gale, Prim, and her mother. And in the Capitol as a prisoner, he made what deals he could to protect her and fought through his hijacking to warn her about the plans to bomb 13 and endured more torture because of what he did.

Of course, then the hijacking happens. He tries to kill her. He insults her. We can see how Peeta was hurt and confused and resentful of Katniss's treatment of him, even what she admitted to and not just what the Capitol put in his head. It seems like "always" could actually have an end.

But that's the thing. It doesn't. In the middle of war during a battle when his fight response was compelling him to act and kill on his conditioning, not only did he resist his hijacking, he came back to Katniss when she reached out and asked him to stay with her. He reaffirmed his promise. Always.

And he follows that up by continuing to protect her during the rest of the war, when she almost took her nightlock pill, and as soon as he was released from his treatment went to comfort her and help her heal from her sister's death. And as we see from the epilogue, he did stay with her, from the nightmares and bad days to the difficult pregnancies and the days in between. He stayed with her: the real Katniss, not a ghost or fantasized ideal.

And that's why Peeta could only respond with always. And that's why always belongs to Peeta Mellark. Because he actually meant it.

[oflights]

Could I somehow persuade you to post a snippet featuring adult Harry from the Star Splitter? 👀👀

just for you, anon!! i debated which one to snip and almost posted adult harry's very first encounter with draco, but that felt too much like a Moment to tip my hand on early, and so i decided to go for some classic, contextless healer potter in action hurt/comfort instead. enjoy!

“I can offer spell-relief for your throat and muscles, but it will knock you out,” Jack says softly. “If you’ll permit me—”

“No,” Draco says, shaking his head. He can’t be knocked out. He has to do—something. He doesn’t know what exactly, but the urgency and fear running through him can’t afford sedation right now.

“Fine. If you won’t let me do it here, let me take you back to mine and—”

“Absolutely not, I have to—” But the words cost him, throwing him into a rasping coughing fit as his throat strains.

“All you have to do is calm down and get well,” Potter cuts in, drawing Draco’s gaze back. He’s rummaging beneath his own lopsided toga, frowning until he pulls out what looks like a small satchel that expands as soon as he pulls it out of his pocket. Potter flips the satchel over and sifts through a number of vials and brightly-colored plasters with various cartoon characters depicted on them.

“You can’t—don’t make me—” Draco insists, coughing again.

“Draco,” Jack says very firmly, in a voice that never fails to make him snap to attention. “Stop talking. You’re hurting yourself.”

“Ron,” Potter suddenly barks out, and Weasley scurries over, giving Draco a very awkward look that plainly states how uncomfortable he is feeling bad for Draco. Potter leans up to say a few soft, unheard words in Weasley’s ear and then settles back in next to Draco when he jogs off. To Draco, he says, “We don’t have to knock you out to make you feel better. Just sit for a moment and catch your breath. It’ll be all right soon.”

“This isn’t a Niffler bite or a Kneazle scratch, Potter,” Jack says from his other side; Draco turns towards his voice again instinctively. “Draco’s a grown wizard suffering the aftereffects of an Unforgivable; I think you’re a bit out of your comfort zone.”

“My comfort isn’t the issue here, Camphor,” Potter says, the disdain in his voice so clear that Draco’s just grateful it isn’t directed at him for once. “Draco’s is.”

“I just think—”

“I’ve changed my mind,” Draco says, gritting his teeth around the pain, as Weasley returns holding a steaming goblet, handing it to Potter, who barely notices for bickering with Jack. “Knock me out, Weasley. I can’t listen to these two.”

Weasley manages a weak grin at him. “Been waiting years for another chance at that, Malfoy. Probably would if Harry wouldn’t knock me out.”

Potter huffs where he’s now bent over the goblet, emptying a few vials into it and stirring the contents with his wand held over it. He’s rolled up the sleeves of his jumper, revealing the various brightly-colored flora and fauna tattoos running up and down his forearms. Draco’s never seen them up close like this, at least not close enough to recognize the stag and the lilies that now have meaning for him, too, and he has to glance away, his thoughts a traitorous jumble.

“Too right,” Potter mutters at Weasley, which doesn’t help with the thought jumble, and then he holds the goblet up to Draco’s face. “Help him sit up more, Camphor, come on.”

“What’s in it?” Draco asks as Jack sighs but moves to help him, sitting behind Draco instead of at his side.

“A touch of Calming Draught with a splash of Muscle Pain Reliever and a dab of Bowtruckle honey for your throat,” Potter rattles off, not looking offended that Draco had asked. Then he ducks his head, strangely bashful, before adding, “Oh, and erm—chocolate. The sugar will help and—yeah.”

He holds the goblet out further and, when Draco’s hands come up trembling too much to hold it, he just gestures with it a little more insistently.

Ignoring Jack’s next sigh, his gusted out, “Draco, really, just let me—” Draco leans forward and sips from the goblet in Potter’s hands.

“I like chocolate,” Draco mumbles after the first swallow soothes his throat. It tastes divine, sweet and warming and healing, making him more able to handle the knowing, watchful look that Potter keeps on him, to deal with just how well he knows that gaze now.

“I know,” Potter says with a small, kind smile. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen from this version of Potter before—for Draco, Potter has only ever had scowls or sneers or frowns, taunting smirks or arrogant, teasing grins. It’s so eerily similar to his younger self, who gives Draco that sort of smile all the time, that Draco has to duck away from it, looking instead at Jack.

Who is glaring at Potter with the force of the sun.

[swifty-fox]

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬!

thank you @antiquitea for the tag! ✨ sorry I made u feel oldTM

tagging in @bucking-mustangs-with-wings @bitchsister @sig-nifier and @avonne-writes!

questions and responses under the read more to save your dashboards 😉

how many works do you have on ao3?

only eleven!!

what's your total ao3 word count?

115,430 (and most of that is probably kfak and one old guard fic lol)

what fandoms do you write for?

Currently only for Masters of the Air but I've also written for The Old Guard (my bewoved)

and wolfstar and aftg but i wont touch those again for various reasons lol

top five fics by kudos

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder - Buck x Bucky (Masters of the Air) 528 kudos

Make Me A Saint - Joe x Nicky (The Old Guard) 448 Kudos

press your tired hands against my lips darling - Buck x Bucky (Masters of the Air) 432 Kudos

Little Beast - Buck x Bucky (Masters of the Air) 368 Kudos

The Calcification of a God - Joe x Nicky (The Old Guard) 294 Kudos

do you respond to comments?

yesss i try to respond to every single comment. After the first 48 hours of a fic/chapter being posted I do get lazy with it but I do get around to everyone eventually!

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

In another life maybe you and i will be walking down the aisle in white (The Old Guard (Movie 2020)) (18,264 words) lol It's got MCD in it cause I was #coping after losing my grandmother. It was really well received though

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhmaaaa....Kfak WILL be?? probably????? Or Little Beasts AU but im so far out from finishing that. The first two endings are pretty emotionally ambiguous I wouldn't quite call them happy.....so maybe

Oh Captain, My Captain! (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) (1,612 words) (wolfstar) even though its angsty and kinda implying Remus is dying lmfao

do you get hate on fics?

I got like one comment on a recent chapter that I wasn't sure was hate but otherwise no not really! People seem to receive my stuff really well

do you write smut?

LOL if you asked me four months ago I would have said no <3

craziest crossover?

I don't really do or read crossovers! I did a few years ago start concepting a Wolfstar x Eastern Promises au though

have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope! I've had art stolen though. Someone even got it tattooed without my permission which pissed me off pretty bad lol

have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah I have lol. I orphaned it though cause the fellow author and I had a massive falling out over Peter fucking Steele of all things

all time favorite ship?

Always and forever Malec from The Mortal Instruments (BOOK ONLY) or DaveKat (Homestuck)

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I started a really fucking awesome supernatural horror that took place in rural Maine for Wolfstar as well as actually a Fae/WWII au (inspired by the Bastogne episode of BOB) that I will not be finishing for... reasons.

The ringing in Remus’ ears is so loud he almost doesn’t hear Sirius. There’s a sharp pain on his tongue, rot and muck coating his taste buds. He cannot breathe, his hands shake. He thinks he may be making a noise. In his head there is a voice. His mothers his voice except he doesn't have a mother does he? Not since he was seventeen and whole. His mother’s voice crooning in his ear as she once did around the green 1960’s kitchen.

There’s a bird who sits on a tower. There’s a bird who sits on a tower - who sits on a tower, with beady eyes so clever.

Where did that scar come from?

“А bird who sits on a tower…” He mutters. 

“Pardon?” Sirius asks, snapping Remus out of his thoughts. 

He starts. 

The cabin is up ahead, peeking between the snowy trees like a warm wooden refuge and even at the sight of it Remus feels an uncurling of nerves in his gut. His flesh settles back onto his bones and the ringing eases back to a manageable level. He watches a sodden bloody bee drag her dying body across the dashboard. 

“Cults...you were saying?” - Factis ut credam facis

-

“Hello there Sir Raven.” He says with a chuckle “I don’t suppose you’re one of the King’s are you? Or Churchill perhaps. That would be quite a long way to travel.” 

Sirius puffs up his feathers and clacks his beak at the Man because even though he didn’t quite understand what the Man meant, he knew a compliment when he heard one. Bravely, he hops closer, the warnings of his parents and even of James ringing in his ears. But the shiny thing is dangling free and curious from the Man's neck and he must know what it is. 

“Haha. What a handsome fellow, handsome indeed. Much more well fed than we all are.” The Man laughs, setting aside his Paper and rummaging around in his Clothes. “Still, I bet pickings are getting a bit slim nowadays, even for a clever old Raven. Have you had digestives before?” 

He holds out a hand, nearly as large as Sirius himself and as elegant and pretty as the branches of a willow. All of the Man was like a tree, sharp lines and slightly less sharp curves. There was something in his hand, sweet-smelling and crumbly. Sirius turns his head first one way then the other, regarding the hand with both beady eyes as the warnings of his people ring in his ears. James' voice be careful plays at the forefront and he shakes out his wings in irritation. Man would catch him. Man would hurt him. Capture him and take him away never to be seen again like his Uncle Alphard. Man did not understand magic and magic did not like Man and so Sirius too, did not like Man. Men who burned and tore apart forests, who killed his kinfolk and killed animals and killed each other. And really, Sirius just wanted to understand. It could not be this man, with his quiet words and his offer of food who had destroyed his people. Surely there were other men, cruel men, who had done this and so it would be okay for Sirius to be brave and a little bold. 

“That’s a handsome old boy.” The Man whispers. 

Well that does it then, surely no evil Man would notice how beautiful I am. He must be like my other man with the Paper. Sirius thinks, leaping into the air just long enough to snatch the prize from the Man’s hand and retreat far enough away to devour the sweet treat with his clever beak. It was delicious, dry and crumbly and so sweet that it makes him shiver. He hops boldly onto the Man’s hand, searching for the last crumbs of the food between the cracks and crevices of his skin. - untitled WWII/Fae fic

what are your writing strengths?

Apparently heartwrenching angst <3

what are your writing weaknesses?

I think i don't linger over things long enough, I feel like i can dive more deeply into feelings and scenes if I just stopped and contemplated over them lol

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think when done right it adds a lot! I like when authors put the translations at the bottom of the fic/chapter though

first fandom you wrote in?

ouughaaa Probably Maximum Ride back in the late aughts

favorite fic you've written?

Sorry y'all it's definitely Kingdom for a Kiss haha

[hum-suffer]

The brothers Black

It's late. He should go to sleep. He has Harry to look after now, he should set a better example.

The said teen is sitting on the floor beside him, and for a moment Sirius is caught in the nostalgia of just how much Harry reminds him of himself.

It's a bad thing, really. He wasn't the best guy around. Hell, Sirius thinks he was probably a menace to even think about. Harry, Harry is better. Sirius remembers picking up the newborn Harry Potter in his hands and hugging him. Sirius remembers closing his eyes and apologising to the ghost of a dead Regulus because Sirius had never hugged his baby brother as much as he deserved.

Sirius puts off his cigarette and runs a hand down his face. Fuck.

Reggie.

Beside him, Harry looks at him with worried eyes. "We don't have to continue, Sirius," he says, perceptive boy. "I can leave—"

"Not necessary, kid," he says, pulling out the last of photos from the shoe box. Harry shuffles closer, almost cuddling him. Sirius quietly points out the people he never got to see grow older. Marlene, her puns and her affinity for everything yellow. Pandora, her heart and her necessity to constantly have chocolates on her person. Dorcas, her loud army boots and bright sundresses.

The last photo in his hand doesn't belong in the shoebox.

It's Reggie and him, Sirius has his brother in his arms and his lips pressed to Reggie's head, eyes closed tight. But it's Sirius, he knows this moment.

Three weeks before Sirius started Hogwarts, Reggie was sure that Hogwarts would steal his brother from him.

(Didn't it?)

Poor boy had been promising to be the best brother in the world, begging Sirius to keep loving him.

Sirius doesn't know when tears blurred his eyes but the ache in his chest comes back full force at his brother's innocent face, still red because of crying and eyes scrunched up close behind Sirius' hand. Sirius was supposed to protect him. Keep his eyes closed, never show him the blood and death that was carved into their fate.

"Regulus." Harry breathes beside Sirius and even the boy sounds pained. He leans further into Sirius and Sirius. Sirius is a greedy man. He takes the opportunity with desperation and puts his arm around Harry's shoulder, pulls him in.

(Everyone he touches will turn out dead. But Harry can't be dead, no, that's his boy, that's his child, he can't, no, not his boy—)

As they've done with every other picture, Sirius turned the photo behind to read who clicked it and when, even if he remembers the dates like they're tattooed on his spine.

But the back of the photo isn't only that. It reads,

Dearest Siri,

I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am. For the first time in my life, words fail me. I've failed everything you've ever tried to teach me— all in for a blind wish that was always impossible.

I've heard your silence, I've heard your screams and it seems that it's all I can remember. I am your shadow, no matter how much mother and father try to force the fact to be false. I want your presence, brother. I do not know how to exist without you. It is the only demand I can still make from fate— for even fate will have to pry you from my dead hands.

You are my brother. You are an ache in my chest and nowadays, I only ever breathe to feel this ache. The letters you've written to me are in my room, you will know where. The letters I've never sent you will be there. Burn them, Siri. I am going down a path of betrayal— towards you, towards our name, towards James, towards the Dark Lord as well. Of all the betrayals I've committed, my biggest regret will be not seeing you before I walk towards death.

Remember me, Siri. Let me stay alive with you. Let me take a part of you as I die.

Yours,

RA Reggie.

Clicked by Andromeda, 18/8/71

Panic burns through Sirius and he's heaving— choking on his tears and sobs and gasps.

His brother. His baby brother. He clutches the photo tighter and cradles it to his heart and wails. Regulus.

The ache in his chest blooms anew and Sirius wants to claw at his chest and find that piece of Regulus that's always lived beside Sirius' heart. Brother. My brother. My only brother. My little brother.

Regulus. Regulus. Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Baby. Reg. Ree. Reg. Reggie.

Sirius slams his fist on the floor and he welcomes the pain that comes with it, his sobs almost cover the thuds his fist is making and he doesn't want to live. His brother. An open wound in his chest, his brother. Sirius wants to burn himself alive, like Reggie wanted to burn those letters.

"My brother." He wails, not sure if anyone will understand what he's saying but he doesn't expect them to, no one will ever understand just what his brother is, was.

There's a hand on his shoulder and Sirius heaves again. He has failed everyone he cared for, and he failed his blood the most. His boy, his brave Reggie.

Harry doesn't speak but keeps his hold on Sirius' elbow and Sirius wishes he would choke him or plunge his hand in Sirius' chest and drag his heart out— Reggie died with a wish to see Sirius, his poor brother, his baby, his Reggie— he doesn't want to live knowing how Reggie suffered and sobbed.

Because even if his brother is dead, Sirius is alive and thus, so is Reggie. Sirius can feel the sobs that must have wrecked Reggie, he can hear all the whimpers Reggie had to subside because he couldn't wake Mother and he can feel all the bile in his throat that his brother must have thrown up during one of his panic episodes.

And now, Harry rises up on his knees and holds Sirius— as Sirius was holding Reggie in that photo. As Harry's hand covers his eyes, Sirius feels the darkness that must have been the last thing Reggie saw.

[sitp-recs]

hiiii what are the funniest, explicit fics in your opinion?

Hi anon! Oh I love myself some funny smut. I’ve definitely recced these many times before, they always crack me up:

Tense by Faith Wood (3k)

Harry and Draco have sex. Very, very slowly. Seriously, this is, like, 3K of penetration.

Ring of Fire by IvvyMoon (4.7k)

Draco gets a tattoo.

Never Gonna Give You Up by InnerLilith (5k)

Five times Harry rickrolls Draco and one time Draco gets him back.

Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (6k)

Potter escorts me home, presses me into my front door and kisses me with a ferocity that’s exhilarating.

Up The by @shiftylinguini (7.5k)

“I feel I need to point out,” Draco kissed gently over Harry’s Adam’s apple, “that this is the most Gryffindor approach to conception that could possibly exist.”

Born Slippy by @dracoladon (8k)

Harry finds that it's less 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor' and more 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, decide Malfoy's quite fit, actually, and decent company after your friends traitorous abandonment, floor.' With Malfoy lying next to you.

Sex Ed for Aurors by curiouslyfic (9k)

Some things, you need to learn on the job.

The Full Monty by @magpiefngrl (10k)

Harry poses for a naked Auror calendar and Draco goes batshit crazy with lust.

Aural Gratification by birdsofshore (E, 11k)

Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot.

The Loathly Worm by Selden (12k)

When Draco Malfoy is forced to go undercover among the remaining Death Eaters in the aftermath of the war, the last person he expects to find there is Harry Potter.

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (15k)

As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had.

you look so fine by michi_thekiller (16k)

In which Draco is a Veela and Harry is his mate. Dark!Humor or Crack!Horror, you decide.

Stupid Love by @the-sinking-ship (17k)

Harry Potter, how does Draco Malfoy hate thee? Let me count the ways.

Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets) by @dictacontrion (17k)

Hogwarts’ future depends on Malfoy’s texts. Too bad the key is up Potter’s arse.

The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks) by @firethesound and @eidheann (36k)

After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the eighteen twenty dicks.

[tackytigerfic]

Howl

M ~ 8.9K ~ Werewolf Drarry

After an encounter with a vicious werewolf, Draco Malfoy wakes in a field hospital with a mangled shoulder, a furry little problem, and an inconvenient crush on Harry Potter. Potter, meanwhile, is still trying to save the world, only this time he wants Draco right there with him while he does it. Taking part in a rebellion against a corrupt regime isn't always glamorous, but at least sometimes there are organic farmshop pastries and fancy hotel bedsheets. Just don't ask about that smell of burning.

A gift for @cluelesspigeons as part of the @drarrymicrofic Wheel of Drarry exchange.

Celina, your gorgeous microfics always have such a sense of tenderness and longing. I wanted to bring some of that softness to this fic, which also includes some of your Drarry likes (werewolf Drarry, long-haired Draco, tattooed Draco - plus some long hair and tattoos for Harry too, because he deserves nice things). Thank you for all you contribute to this fandom, in the form of your lovely words and your fabulous modding skills.

@maesterchill and @sweet-s0rr0w i am so lucky to have both of your brilliant minds at my disposal and will never stop being grateful for that.

Mourning Moon

Draco woke up on a Friday morning in a field hospital in Grasmere, without a single memory of how he had got there. The last thing he remembered was being in London, not two streets away from his tiny bedsit, getting a very late takeaway dinner in the only burger joint still open at that time of the night. He was sheltering from the rain and unwrapping his bean burger—no tomatoes, extra gherkins—and had felt rather than seen something moving in the darker shadows beyond the mouth of the alleyway.

And that was all there was, nothing but a horrifying blank spot in his memory before waking up here on a rickety stretcher, feeling like he had been turned inside out. His shoulder was hurting badly, the pain maybe even worse than when he took the Mark, and he could tell from the thickness of the bandages that whatever had happened to him, it was bad. He could smell the protective webbing of healing charms packed around the wound, and could feel the dittany busily knitting away at the flesh.

“Another one?”

The Healer—who for all Draco knew wasn’t even a real Healer, just someone with an O in Potions who was handy with an Episkey—wasn’t even looking at his face as she spoke, just scribbling busily on a chart and then running a cold, assessing hand over Draco’s sternum. She raised her wand to his skin.

“Another what?” Draco asked rudely, just to make the Healer look at him properly.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Her voice was cool, the spark of her magic at his shoulder something like relief and something like an invasion. Behind Draco, there was a small shifting sound, a rustle of air and greenery and the warmth of something too familiar. The back of his neck prickled, but the Healer held him firmly in place.

Draco could smell the woman’s cold antiseptic scent and below that the sourness of too much coffee and the ripe smell of her body after what must have been a long shift. He could smell the ink on the quill nib, the same metallic salt to the smell as blood, and he knew then what must have happened, his heart kicking faster, the steep jump on the monitoring spell making the Healer frown. Draco allowed himself to stretch his arms, feeling the way his bones tightened under the skin, wrist bones locking for a second, making him think of lengthening strides, the wild rush of the chase, the thrill of a body made exactly fit for purpose. It was really quite unlike himself, Draco thought, looking down at his own bare torso, pale as a grub, his fingers scarred and splintered from chisels and raw wood, his Mark still there, like it always would be, inescapable.

“What happened to me?” Draco asked, needing to hear it.

“Werewolf. Bad bite,” came a voice—his voice—and Draco’s flesh pebbled into gooseflesh as though in a fresh breeze. “You’re lucky we were already onto him. If we hadn’t arrived when we did...”

“Quite right.” The Healer sounded disapproving. “You were lucky tonight, Mr Malfoy. That bite was designed to do some serious damage. Any deeper and you wouldn’t be here to tell the tale.” Her quill scraped against the chart again before coming to a decisive stop as she plucked it out of the air and shoved it into her pocket. “It’s almost as though it was… personal. We won't know for certain until the next full moon, but given the severity of the bite I think I should prescribe wolfbane. I'll check the dispensary.”

She was gone from the tent before Draco could reply, before the shame crept in a flush of heat from his chest up, before he could tell her he knew it was personal, before he could ask if there was anything that could be done for him. There wasn’t; he already knew the bite had taken, the wolf was in his blood. He could feel it as surely as though the fangs were still clamped down on him.

“It’s always personal with Greyback,” Potter said, moving around the stretcher so Draco could see him. Draco felt very suddenly like lying back down and having a messy cry. “If that’s any consolation.” He reached out a hand and patted Draco’s good arm.

It was almost too much, a sensory overload, Draco’s mouth suddenly wet and getting wetter, a prickle of sweat over his top lip, a greying fuzz across his vision before he blinked the colour back into the room.

“You alright?” Potter, at his shoulder, the scent of him already unmistakable.

“I’m—” Draco began, and then stopped before it turned into a growl at the sudden shift in the air, like a turning breeze. Not a threat, exactly, but something equally new and unsettling, the dangerous rolling whiff, the urge to take or be taken. He raised his head, inhaled. “Oh. You. You’re one too?”

Read the rest of Howl on AO3

[shaunamilfman]

More Random HC’s cause I’m waiting to go into work :)

Nat:

- Unironically LOVES shirts that are/have the same energy as “women love me, fish fear me”/“Big dick is back in town” etc. she wears them more often than you’d like

- She lives off of Mountain Dew, Red Bull and hot Cheetos, that’s all she packs for lunch everyday and you have to drop off water and a snack for her at practice so she doesn’t pass out since she barely takes care of herself

Misty:

- was one of those girls that had a thing for the Onceler from the Lorax

- She was def apart of the 2012 tumblr culture, (superwholock or whatever it was) one of those girls that would get a tattoo off of one of the YA books they read, hunger games, Harry Potter, stuff like that

Jackie:

- Either really knows how to play American football and is super invested in the NFL, or does not know anything at all “What is a down?”

- Is SO CLINGY (Derogatory) sure you thought it was cute at first until she gets up at 5 am for her morning practice and wakes you up too so you can “brush your teeth together”. It gets even worse when she’s sick, shes the hugest baby when she’s sick and you know if she gets sick you’re bound to get sick a week later because she’s plastered to your side

Van:

- Legit loves anything you get her, even if it’s kind of a joke. Stupid $2 tourist T shirt? You got it for her so she loves it, childish Spider-Man socks, thinks they’re cool as fuck. Just overall very appreciative and excited to recieve anything from you

Lottie:

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; She’s absolutely good at all the fine arts; she can draw well, she definitely can play the piano and violin, bc her rich parents paid for her to have lessons, etc

- She definitely also did some nerdy shit like take taekwondo until she was 14. Idk why I can just imagine this girl in like that white martial arts gi, doing like punching exercises.

Shauna:

- I don’t know if this makes sense but the kind of gf that when you guys go out to eat, you’ll both be quiet/not talk so you can eavesdrop onto people’s conversations and talk about it in the car on the way home

ugh no nat is such a loser she so would. she shows up at your house wearing this

asking her when the last time she drank water was and she's really got to think about it. she gets so shy if you like cook her something though omg

Misty would have crushes on the weirdest fucking cartoon characters and shit I swear. she pulls you a picture of megamind and you're like "... okay"

superwholockian misty i know that's right. misty has like collectors editions of the Sherlock books. she has like an original printing displayed in her living room fr

Misty def had one of those shirts like "heading off to the shire to become a jedi because my hogwarts letter never came."

i take that and I raise you Jackie being super super invested in the NFL but still does not know how football works. she's into the vibes she's just competitive as fuck. you look over and she's googling what a halfback does.

also Jackie totally follows a soccer team obsessively. she has like 5 jerseys and so so much merch. she even buys you some so she can make you wear it. she's so excited whenever there's a game on. she's def screaming at the ref for making a bad call

jackie's dramatic ass makes you sit in the bathroom with her as she showers. your just sitting on the sink with your head against the mirror barely able to keep your eyes open and she's excitedly rambling on like she's on fucking crack.

also i feel like jackie is such a morning person. you're half an energy drink in and barely awake and she's bouncing off the walls at 6 AM

she definitely gets you sick whenever she gets sick for sure. she's expecting princess treatment squared when she's sick. omg you thought she was needy normally?? your ass is not ready.

Van is so fucking sentimental bro she has a whole box dedicated to little things you gave her, even if it was just something you randomly handed to her lmao

artist lottie has such a hold on me tbh I love it.

martial arts lottie def got a participation trophy and a pat on the back i can not see her being good at it lmao

oh no fr shauna is such a hater she loves doing hater activities with you. jackie's talking about jeff or something and yall are like 😒🙄. she always looks straight for you when stupid shit happens.