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whump-imagines · 6 months ago

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Too Much Coffee

Connor x reader

WC: 1500 ish

Warnings: overdose... caffeine, but still.

@whumpcember day 9 shaking

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“It's two in the morning. What are you still doing up?”

You startled at the sound of Connor’s voice having not heard him come home. “Holy shit, make some noise when you come in.”

He chuckled. “I thought you'd be asleep and I was trying not to wake you.”

You glanced at the clock then not having realized how late it'd gotten. “Oh, right. Well I have to finish this proposal anyway and I wasn't tired.” You lift your mug and drain the remaining coffee. Setting it back down, you press your thumb into your temple and rub your forehead to relieve the growing headache.

Connor stood silently watching you. As you reached for your keyboard he saw your hands shake. “How much coffee have you had?”

“Um, a pot… or maybe two?”

His eyes widened before he made his way over and knelt beside you. He took your hand and pressed his fingers into your pulse as he looked at his watch. He shook his head before he locked eyes with you. “126 and irregular. Sweetheart, you have to be careful with that much caffeine.”

“Oops,” you shrugged, giving him a guilty smile.

“Come on,” he requested, offering you his hand.

You took the offered hand and stood. As you did, the world spun slightly and you gripped his hand harder. He wrapped an arm around you and gently leaned you into his chest. “Okay, maybe I don't feel so good.”

“Dizzy?” he asked.

You took a deep breath trying to settle the feeling. “Yeah, and maybe a bit nauseous.”

“Alright. Let's go sit on the couch.” He slowly led you out of the office and settled you onto the couch. “Try some slow, deep breaths and just relax.”

A few minutes later, he came back with a tray. He set it on the table and handed you a glass of water. “Drink some of that first.”

You saluted before taking the glass. “Yes, sir.” He pulled his stethoscope from around his neck that you hadn't noticed. “Where did you get that?”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “The entry table where it sits with my keys and wallet.”

You rolled your eyes. “I know that. I meant when and why?”

“While I was boiling water for oatmeal and because your heart is still racing and I need to keep an eye on that,” he explained.

“How do you know that from over there?” you asked. “Are you psychic now? Or maybe you have x-ray vision.”

He chuckled. “Well, for one,” he traced his fingers softly down your neck until you could feel your pulse beat against his fingers, “I can see your pulse in your neck here. And for two, I know that much caffeine doesn't wear off in ten minutes.”

“You know, you make my heart race like this, too. You don't worry about it then,” you tease.

“That's very different, smart-ass. Now will you drink that, please.” He nodded to the water in your hand.

“Okay, okay.” You sipped the water as he placed the tips in his ears and the diaphragm on your chest. You tried not to squirm under his attention.

He looped the stethoscope back around his neck. “Still way too fast and skippy. You do know it's possible to OD on caffeine, right?”

“I didn't mean to drink so much. I was on auto-pilot working on that stupid proposal.”

“It's okay. You just need to eat and hydrate a lot and it'll be okay.” He leaned in and kissed your forehead. “Oatmeal or banana first?”

“Oatmeal, please.”

He leaned forward to grab the bowl and handed it to you. “Here you go. What are we binging?”

“Hmm, how about House?” He just glared at you and you laughed. “Grey’s Anatomy?”

“That's worse. Why are you trying to torture me?”

You snorted a laugh. “I was just kidding. How about Suits?”

“Deal.” He turned on the TV and started an episode. “I need you to finish that water before this episode is over.”

Half an hour later, you'd finished eating and emptied the glass. “Pause, please,” you asked.

“You can keep watching. I'll get you more water,” he offered, already moving to stand.

“And I'll let you.” You handed him your glass. “But we still need to pause. I have to pee.”

“Oh, right.” He offered you a hand and pulled you up from the couch. “Still dizzy?”

“Uh, a little but not too bad. I can make it there on my own.”

He nodded once, looking as if he was contemplating your answer. “Okay. Shout if you need me. Otherwise, I'll meet you back here.” He squeezed your hand softly before releasing you.

As you headed back to the couch, Connor popped his head out of the kitchen. “How's your head? Do you need some Tylenol?”

“Um, it's better than earlier. I think I'll be okay for now.”

A minute later, he was settling beside you on the couch once again. He handed you a tumbler with a lid and straw and then pulled you against him and kissed the top of your head. Next, he took your wrist in his hand again and lifted his other arm off your shoulder to glance at his watch. “A little better. Down to 116. Still way too fast but at least it's not so skippy anymore.”

You gave him a thumbs up and then snatched the remote to press play.

By the time you finished the new cup of water, you were yawning and starting to doze off. “I thought coffee kept you awake longer than this.”

“It's not as effective when you've built up a tolerance. Let's go try to get some sleep.”

You snuggled in tighter against him. “But I'm comfy.”

He chuckled and stood, lifting you easily into a bridal carry. “You can be more comfy in the bed.” He set you down in the threshold of the bathroom.

You pouted. “This isn't the bed.”

“I'm sure you want to go before bed and brush your teeth,” he justified.

Both of you made quick work of getting ready for bed. When you finished you leaned your chin on his sternum and glanced up at him.

“You want me to carry you?”

You just smiled and nodded. He bent and lifted you again. You sighed contentedly and closed your eyes as he walked. When he set you on the bed you whined. He sat down in the bed beside you.

As he grabbed his stethoscope, you rolled your eyes. “I'm fine.”

“You basically just gave yourself a caffeine induced stress test. Forgive me for wanting to make sure you're okay..” He listened to your heart and checked your pulse once more before he moved to lay in his spot.

He pulled you over and you settled against him. He kissed the top of your head. “Good night. I love you,”

You squeezed him and hummed contentedly. “Love you.” You quickly dozed off.

After a fitful night of sleep, filled with a lot of tossing and turning, you woke to Connor cuddled beside you with his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair lazily.

“Morning,” he greeted.

“Are you doing what I think you're doing?”

“Probably. If you think I'm listening then you'd be correct.”

“Babe,” you started, pulling his head up so he could turn to look at you. “I swear I'm okay. I slept like shit, but I feel fine. I promise.”

He hugged you tightly. “I'm sorry. You freaked me out a little. If I hadn't come home when I did, you might have made a third pot. You could have gotten really sick.”

“But you did. And I didn't get super sick. I'm good. I could use a cup of coffee though.”

“No,” he whipped his head up glaring at you. “No caffeine for at least three days.”

“How am I supposed to function at work?”

“B vitamins might help,” he suggested. “You can take a supplement. Or, my preference, you could take a day or two off work and take it easy.”

You laughed. “Oh, yeah. I can just imagine how that call would go… ‘I need a couple days off because I drank too much coffee’. I'm pretty sure I'd get laughed at and then maybe even fired.”

“I can call. I can just tell them you have food poisoning,” he offered. “That's barely even a lie.”

You pried yourself from his hold. “I think I'll be fine.” You pushed to stand and the world spun a little and nausea flared. You sank back to sitting and closed your eyes for a moment. “Okay, maybe one day wouldn't be a bad thing.”

He rounded the bed and kissed your forehead before snatching your phone off the nightstand. “Just lay back down and relax. I'll call your boss and then I'll make you some eggs and bacon. The protein should help.”

“Thank you.” Flopping back down into your pillow, he pulled the covers up to your shoulder. “Love you.”

“I love you too, pretty girl. I'll be back in a few.”

#chicago med fanfiction #connor rhodes x reader #caffeine overdose #whumpcember24 #day 9 #shaking #Connor Rhodes imagine

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mercyll · 2 years ago

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Is Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury the first anime series to depict a married same-sex couple?

Given the rings and comments from the staff (excluding Bandai) it's pretty clear that both Suletta and Miorine are married. And looking at older anime couples I can't find another one where the characters are actually married to one another.

There are series that depict engagements and proposals (implied or otherwise with queer characters).

Some examples would be:

Yuri & Viktor from Yuri on Ice, where it's implied that they want to be engaged.

Ranma & Akane from Ranma 1/2, both find themselves in an arranged engagement but end up falling for each other anyway. Ranma is canonically genderfluid in both the anime and manga and Akane is attracted to Ranma as both a man and a woman. And this is ignoring all of Ranma's other fiances who know about their curse and want to be in a relationship with them anyway.

Utena & Anthy from Revolutionary Girl Utena, while the circumstances of their engagement are out of their control, the two of them fall deeply in love with one another despite that. And in the movie they kiss.

Other LGBT anime couples are together or in love but next explicitly depicted as engaged or married would be:

Michiru Tenou & Haruka Kaiou from Sailor Moon, they are very much together and in the Crystal series end up living together and adopting a baby.

Yukito Tsukishiro & Touya Kinomoto from Cardcaptor Sakura, who are in love with one another.

Eiji Okumura & Ash Lynx from Banana Fish, who are in love with one another. And it hurts.

Yuu Koito & Touko Nanami from Bloom Into You, who are two girls who fall in love with one another. And in the story you watch them grow and get closer.

Nezumi & Shion from No. 6, a sci-fi drama where two boys fall in love. This one also hurts.

And countless other examples, none of which I could find have the characters taking their relationship further than dating or engagement.

So, is Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury the first married same-sex couple in anime?

On a minor note, there have been several gay weddings depicted in manga.

Some examples would be:

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani, which was written by an asexual, X-gender author.

Until I Meet My Husband by Ryousuke Nanasaki and illustrated by Yoshi Tsukizuki. This manga was written by a gay man and based on his own essays about his life. The manga is auto-biographical.

I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up by Kodama Naoko, who has written several other LGBT manga, most of which are Yuri.

And there are several more!

Bonus:

Shoutout to Episode 7 of the 80s anime Dirty Pair for having a wedding between a cis man and a trans woman in one episode.

#gay marriage #anime #manga #lgbtqia #mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #ranma 1/2 #revolutionary girl utena #yuri on ice #rambles #sailor moon #card captor sakura #bloom into you #no 6 #i married my best friend to shut my parents up #until i met my husband #our dreams at dusk #banana fish #dirty pair

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ofmdrecaps · 1 month ago

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04/15-17/2025 Daily OFMD REcap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Vico Ortiz; Alex Sherman; Anapela Polata'ivao; Connor Barrett and Brian Gattas; The New Uni Con Updates (Pay it Forward and Autographs); Fan Spotlight: Our Flag Means Fanfiction: Love Notes;

Whelp, even after saying I was posting this yesterday I got called in and worked til midnight 2 nights in a row. So here it is today!

= David Jenkins =

David is settling into the dad life well! He's already out hustling rubes with the little one!

He also recently procured some teeny boys from the wonderful RebelSophie that arrived today!

Source: David's IG

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys has been super busy with his The Legend Returns tour! Recently in AoNZ and Australia!

Source: The Claire Hooper IG

Source: Squirrel Comedy

Source: Rhys' IG Stories

= Taika Waititi =

Taika has been super busy! He got to hang out with Andy Hearnden and meet his live long idol, Cyndi Lauper!

In addition, the very cool interactive piece he participated in is up for a Webby! You can vote for it here!

Source: Taika's IG Stories

= Samba Schutte =

If you haven't checked it out already-- there's going to be another Momentus event with Samba coming up on May 10! Individual Bananas have sold out--but you can still order the bandana by buying a ticket to his May 10th Class here! "Each purchase benefits @everymomcounts, working to achieve quality, respectful and fair maternity care for mothers all over the world��🏾"

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Samba's also been back voice acting!

Source: Samba's IG stories

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico's sending us some thirst traps again!

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Source: Vico's IG

= Alex Sherman =

Our beloved Alex Sherman just received his doppelganger in the mail! Made by the incredibly brilliant @amuseoffyre!!

Source: A Muse of Fyre's Ig

As you can tell he adores him, and he even got to spend a bit of time catching up with Samba!

Source: Alex Shermans' IG Stories

= Anapela Polata'ivao =

Our dear Auntie's new movie Tinā has won the Audience Award at the 2025 Perth Festival!!

Source: Tinā the Film IG

= Connor Barrett and Brian Gattas =

Our fabulous Hornberry, and Siegfried got some new headshots and psstt April 18th is Brian's birthday!

Source: Rob Mainord Photography

= The New Uni-Con =

Some news for The New Uni-Con! Amy was kind enough to set up a Pay-It-Forward option for the convention coming up in the UK!

Pay it Forward

By request, the Pay it Forward option is live!

How it works?

If you would like to attend TNUC either as Weekend (1 Auto), Day or Virtual Ticket but are being restricted by the price, you can sign up for a Pay It Forward Ticket. Funded by kind, and generous, members of the fandom, you'll receive gift vouchers for up to 50% of the value of your chosen ticket. Gift Vouchers will be assigned on a first come, first served basis. Once your ticket has been funded and you have been notified, you'll have 7 days to confirm you still want the ticket, or we will release your funding to the next person on the list. If you want to donate - you can purchase Gift Vouchers from the Siren Events Ticket Tailor Store (I've made available in £10, £20 and £50 denominations - if you want others, let me know). Enter the Gift Voucher Redemption Codes into the Pay It Forward Donations sign up form. If for any reason your Gift Voucher(s) are not used, we'll be in contact so you can either redeem them for extras / event merch, or roll them over to the next event.

Recipients sign up here

Donors sign up here

Buy Gift Vouchers (click on box in top right corner)

Autograph Send-In-Service

In addition! There's some news on Autographs for the convention! The con will be offering the chance to order one of the photos from the event photo studio (which is the only place they'll be available-- Or, people can send in something (as long as it fits in a poster tube or a4 envelope) to have signed and then returned to them (for those who have specific art or prints they want signed)!

Source: Amy / Siren Events Discord

= Fan Spotlight =

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

New Episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction! This time around is our favorite badass one handed boss, Jackie! Check it out on Spotify or your favorite podcast platform!

Source: OFMFF's Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I've missed you! I'll be working on doing a lot of catch up over the next week or so now that taxes are finally done! Tonight I just want to remind every single one of you how well you're doing. Shit is hard right now. So hard. We are experiencing things we never thought we would, and yet here you are, still here, and I'm so very proud of you for that. You are still here and that means so much to me and everyone else. That being said, please oh please take some time for you. Whatever you need to recharge some of your battery. Read a book, listen to your favorite song or album on loop, dance around your living room in your underwear, eat something tasty you enjoy, cuddle with your fur-family, hug your favorite person, visit your favorite place! I know that that's not always possible for everyone, so If you're not able to for any reason, please take some time tomorrow to close your eyes and imagine some of those things you love. Sit with the in your mind and enjoy them there for even just a few minutes. Our imaginations can change our brain chemistry-- and it can actually help with our anxiety.

Anything you can do for you-- do it! We need things to remind us of how good the world can be. Of the love and sillyness that's here, and that as bad as shit is, we can still poke our heads into happiness once in a while. Anyway, I'm rambling sorry... I hope you are hanging in there, and getting any ounce of rest you can Crew. Stay safe out there <3

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Source: The Latest Kate Instagram

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seat-safety-switch · 9 months ago

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If you drink, you should drink moderately. Booze is very expensive, you see, and every penny that is spent on it could be put into race car parts instead. It's for this exact reason that my ancient ancestors spent a lot of their free time figuring out how to synthesize their own alcohol at home, and giving birth to the modern-day NASCAR stock car circuit.

Like any good science experiment, the project didn't start out as an excuse to day-drink. Originally, the family story goes, they wanted to make some synthetic alcohol-based fuels to run a race car off of. And there were way too many mouldy bananas getting thrown out at the grocery store. Why not simply turn all that discarded banana waste into zingy, renewable meth-o-line?

The reason why not is that what actually comes out of the process is high-test banana liqueur. If that concept sounds good to you, perhaps you are a secret monkey, brainwashed into thinking you were a person all along. Check your closet to make sure there's no secret radio equipment made out of coconut shells, hair, and poop, reporting back to the Big Gorilla at the zoo to advise him of when the best time to begin the invasion is. For the rest of us, banana liqueur is, most generously, a weird novelty.

A weird novelty, that is, until prohibition. The nation's wet blankets got together, and collectively said "maybe do something other than drinking all day." And they had a point: auto-body repair bills were starting to skyrocket, what with all the whisky dings getting racked up on the expansive chrome bodywork of the time. Those ancient scolds did make a mistake, though: denying them their booze meant that a newly-sober and terrified country had to turn to race cars instead.

So, a classic capitalist story: needs (for banana-based high-octane race fuels) met haves (banana-based high-octane race fuels,) and there was immediate success. Not so. For one thing, Great-Great Grandpappy Switch was really bad at business. He much preferred to be out racing, in the process inventing new motorsports like "drifting" and "grocery-store shopping cart drifting." And for another thing, he didn't see the point in changing the label on the bottles. He had paid for those labels, goddammit, and they were going to say "Incredibly Illegal Banana Booze, Don't Let The Government See It" until he had used up the entire roll of stickers.

Eventually, his two loves did meet, in the form of a group of bootleggers who started to use their souped-up shitboxes for racing instead of just outrunning the morality police. That's a story for another family, though, as by then Great-Great Grandpappy Switch had moved on to inventing the world's first pinball machine.

Say, I didn't notice your friends come in while I was talking. If you don't mind me saying so, they sure look a whole lot like those gorillas that escaped from the zoo earlier. They want to hear about my family banana liqueur recipe, you say?

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the-most-humble-blog · 14 days ago

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<div style="white-space:pre-wrap"> <meta threat-level="literary-vendetta"> <script>ARCHIVE_TAG="TERWILLIGER_PROTOCOL_BATMANJOKER_001"</script>

🤡 TERWILLIGER FILES — ADDENDUM: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BATMAN TURNS ROBIN INTO THE JOKER A Blacksite Literature™ Transmission

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Let me be clear while I can still spell my own name and not get hypnotized by Bob's operatic baritone echoing through my skull:

You don't understand what Robert Terwilliger is.

You think he's just some Frasier-voiced criminal mastermind with clown trauma. But he's not.

Bob Terwilliger is what happens when you take a man with the voice of Shakespeare, the IQ of Lex Luthor, and the rage of a neglected theater kid—and force him to eat pies for a living under a nicotine-stained clown with a gambling addiction.

This man was reading Voltaire while getting shot out of a cannon. That’s not character building. That’s how you get an origin story.

⚠️ Krusty Didn’t Hire a Sidekick. He Created a Nemesis.

Imagine Batman making Robin dress like a chicken, publicly humiliating him for ratings, and then acting surprised when Robin joins the League of Shadows and starts quoting Nietzsche mid-murder spree.

That’s Bob.

He didn’t start evil. He was forged in a fire of seltzer bottles and unpaid therapy. He wasn’t born with a vendetta. He was given one… with a laugh track.

🎭 You’re Laughing, but He’s Monologuing.

Bob doesn’t just try to kill people. He plans it like a composer writing a symphony in blood. He leaves clues. He drops literary references. He recites entire Gilbert and Sullivan operas mid-murder attempt.

That’s not a killer. That’s a thesis paper with a vendetta and good diction.

🚨 Bart Isn’t Just a Victim. He’s the Catalyst.

Bart didn’t just ruin Bob’s schemes. He validated them.

Every time Bob got close to peace, the universe served him another slice of Simpson-brand chaos.

You think Bob hates Bart? No. Bob became Bob because of Bart.

He is what happens when Batman forgets to save Robin from the dark.

📚 Terwilliger Lore Is Basically Shakespeare with Blood and Rakes

You ever watch a man step on one rake? Funny.

You ever watch him step on sixteen rakes in a row while monologuing about revenge and democracy? That’s not a gag. That’s a Greek tragedy in clown shoes.

Bob is Othello in clown makeup. He’s Hamlet with a vendetta and a blowtorch. He’s the only villain in history who could quote Whitman, attempt murder, win an Emmy, and still get mispronounced by Ralph Wiggum.

🧠 You Want Redemption? Bob Gave You Redemption… and You Threw It Back

The man literally tried to settle down in Italy.

Crushed grapes. Ran for mayor. Found love. Raised a child.

Then the Simpsons showed up.

And like clockwork, Bob was reminded: > "Oh right, I’m not allowed to heal. I’m a punchline."

So he relapsed.

Because healing is hard. But falling into villainy with flair? That’s opera, baby.

🎤 Final Analysis:

Robert Terwilliger isn’t a villain. He’s the result of what happens when you break a gifted mind for laughs. When you hand a prodigy a banana cream pie and tell him, “Be funny, or be forgotten.”

He’s what happens when Batman turns Robin into the Joker… …then gets mad when the Joker starts writing sonnets about vengeance.

And Bart? Bart’s just the spotlight.

He didn’t make the monster. He just made sure we all saw it.

🍷 FIELD-TOAST STATUS: RAISED

To Robert Terwilliger: The thespian, the warlock, the academic with a vendetta. A man whose crimes were crimes of passion—and pronunciation.

And to Bart: The chaos engine who turned a pie-splattered intellectual into a blood-soaked aria.

God bless Springfield. And God help anyone who underestimates a villain with a library card.

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thatprettybunny · 1 year ago

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Based on this imagine

Katsuki came to consiousness in a fucking dumpster.

His head moaned and his core ached from where the villisn had zapped him. He ruffled his way out of the garbage, cursing whatever God decided to fuck with him today as he slipped a banana peel off his shoulder. At first his mind raced. Where was he? This Alleyway was vaguely familiar, but as of right now he couldnt place it from where he stood.

His thoughts ceased however when he heard a pained female groan from the trash can. Maki! His brain went into auto pilot. Being the ever so stressed man he was, he hurridley pulled her from the trash can, cursing himself for not remembering her sooner.

God he really was an asshole. Maki had been his official, unofficial girlfriend for months, how was she not his number one priority?

“Because you aren’t her’s” a small insecure voice rang in his ear and he fought to surpress it.

The truth is Katsuki had asked her out, he had wanted her to be his girlfriend. But as fate would have it she wasn’t looking for anything serious yet, or so she claimed.

However it did irk Katsuki that her sentiment for nothing serious only seemed to apply for the actual relationship status. So for the past few months he’s been buying her flowers, she’s been unofficially staying at his place, fuck she even came over for thanksgiving last month with his parents!

Maki groaned and Katsuki snapped back out of it.

“Can you walk?” He asked, holding her pressed against him incase she fell.

“Yeah,” she staggeredly spoke, “but can we please get out of this alleyway so I can stop smelling whatever it is shat over there?” She joked, pointing her perfectly sharp red nail at a pile of brown sludge not to far off.

Katsuki’s eyes lingered on the tip of her pointed nail, remembering how good they felt digging into his shoulder blade last night. He never did understand how she managed to be a prohero and have nice nails, but he really wasn’t complaining.

He grumbled some drawled out response about how shitty of a job animal shelters did before wrapping his arm around her waist and walking out of the alley like the perfect unofficial boyfriend he was.

But as soon as they exited the alley, something invisible and heavy metaphorically punched him in the gut. His hero agency.

The one he’d started six months ago, the one he’d been struggling to keep afloat in a mediocre one story office building.

It was…

Well for lack of better words it was huge. All modern glass and potted plants. Hell, the building had grown at leat 15 floors since yesterday.

Katsuki tried not to shit himself from disbelief as he glanced around, desperate to find anything that could make sense of it.

A billboard caught his eye. All giant and holographic where it said “OFFICIAL HERO RANKINGS AS OF DECEMBER 6th 20XX” in big catchy letters. And in an even brighter array was Katsuki, no, Dynamite plastered all over it, most notably next to the words ‘NUMBER ONE HERO’

Beside him he heard Maki ask him something; she sounded concerned, but Katsuki didn’t really register any of it. Instead his mind raced. Was this really the future? Was this not just some cruel unforgiving dream bestowed on him by that lame quirk bastard whod zapped him?

The revolving door to the hero agency swung open, drawing his gaze.

And maybe Katsuki wouldnt have registered it if the woman leaving hadn’t been wheeling an army green stroller through it. Maybe he wouldn’t have registered it if it wasn’t you.

His breathe caught in his throat.

You, Prohero Spikewring, dressed in a midi, floral yellow sundress, the chunkiest pair of pink platform heels and your gorgeous curly hair out and waving in the soft breeze as you laughed at what he hoped was a baby in the stroller.

He felt his jaw tick.

God he hadn’t seen you since his first and last attended hero gala . He remembers looking down at you that night. A soft velvet midnight blue dress that hugged you in the best possible ways. Sheer gloves and dramatic winged liner. And he didn’t need to see to know you wore a signature chunky shoe. You’d sat next to him at the bar and, presumably, asked the bartender for whatever he had. He couldn’t remember exactly what the drink was, probably some variation of whisky, but what he did recall was your tentative face and your almost immediate coughing fit. Your fingers, nails all chewed up and cuticles somehow perfect held firmly onto the counter a you laughed dryly.

“How do you drink that with such a straight face?” You moaned, a pained smile on your face.

Katsuki was amused.

He found his gaze dropping to the perky curve of you chest. Your dress was strapless, and Katsuki was taller than you; granting him a free but probably creepy glance at the soft, pale skin of your chest and the peak of a black lace bra. Katsuki was maybe too amused. He laughed at your pain before grabbing a drink menu and ordering you a ‘Dynamite Passion Blaster.” A drink he was sure tasted more of juice than alcohol and was filled with a shit ton of citrusy fruit.

You let out a happy sigh when you drank the fruity concoction and somehow started a soft flow of conversation.

The rest of the night was a blur. The year’s statistics were read, you asked him to dance with you and then as you both laughed (mostly you) and slowly swayed, the clock struck midnight and then Katsuki kissed you; and you kissed him back.

Katsuki didn’t ask for your number that night, hell he didn’t even take you home that night. How could he when he knew he would be on a plane for the next twelve hours flying to the United States for a work oppertunity the very next day.

That being said, in this timeline he hadnt seen you in over a decade. Yet.

Somehow he knew you instantly. He recalled back to when he stalked your instagram. All short skirts and high shoes. Your style had evolved since then, fuck youd aged since then, but Katsuki couldn’t help but wince as his heart ached when you reached down into the pram.

Itd been over ten years. Of course you had a baby. You probably had a husband, after all you were 36 now. Hell, you could have an entirely new life by now. Youd moved on since that day, and he fucking hated how the jelousy made him feel like he hadnt.

You reached into the stroller to pull out a giggling, chunky baby. The little child’s eyes were bright enough to decay a ruby and you both laughed like Katsuki’s heart wasn’t racing at the speed of sound.

It hurt. Even though you were only his sappy lil celebrity crush, somehow it hurt to watch you wholeheartedly love a baby that wasnt his. It hurt him to know there was someone out there who hadnt blown it with you. Someone out there who youd always love more than him.

Not that you ever loved him.

Now Katsuki’s nails dug into Maki’s ever so smooth waist.

Thats right, he still had Maki.

He was about to say something, maybe an apology when the swing door swung open again, and Katsuki himself, no, the real fucking Dynamite sauntered out. His shoulders impossibly broad and his hair impossibly spikier.

Katsuki felt like beating the shit out of him.

That is until his eyes lit up and he wrapped a large veined arm around your waist, giving you an invisible kiss on the neck and pressing a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead. His baby. Meaning Katsuki’s baby with you.

Before he had time to process any of it he heard a faint analog clock ticking away in his ears, growing louder until another punch to his stomach came and he and Maki flew backwards into the pile of curious brown shit and losing consciousness.

Itd been months since that day he saw the future. Weeks since hed broke things off with Maki and days since he wondered if he should go out of his way to find you again. Unsurprisingly , he hadn’t come to a descion yet.

It’d been almost a year from that day, when Katsuki finally saw you again, and this time he didn’t let fear keep him away from you.

#bakugou fluff #bakugo katsuki #mha #bakugou x reader #bnha #bakugo katuski x reader #bnha fluff #fluff #cute #thatprettybunny #dad bakugo #domestic bakugou #moonminsuki

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louddydisturb · 2 years ago

Text

Im in love, love in hurricane

Parte dois de playing dangerous

Harry estava na expectativa de se distrair de louis -- já na vigésima tentativa -- mas as coisas não vão nada como o esperado

Louis, 40

Harry, 17

Tw: age gap, traição, h!inter, uso de arma como dildo (eu realmente não sei se tem um nome certo)

Olha a bomba

Boa leitura!

Harry terminava de arrumar a mochila para passar o final de semana na casa do namorado, a mãe de adrien ia passar 3 dias viajando para algum compromisso de trabalho e o pai muitas vezes estava de plantão de noite na delegacia

Tinha algumas semanas desde do acontecimento com louis, ela não viu tanto o mais velho, somente enxergando ele de relance quando ele ia para a delegacia

"Amor!" Ela escuta a voz do namorado que a esperava na porta

"Oi" ela sorri amigavel sentindo um beijo no topo de sua cabeça ao que ela o abraça

"A piscina está cheia" ela nota que adrian usava shorts de praia e a camiseta se apoiava em seu ombro

"Otimo estava contando com sua casa de rico e a piscina para manter meu bronzeado" harry brinca entrando na casa, aparentemente vazia, e indo até o quarto do garoto para trocar de roupa

Minutos depois ela desce de biquini e senta ao lado do namorado na espreguiçadeira, esse que a oferece uma taça com bebida

"Adrian tomlinson eu ja falei para não mexer nas minhas bebidas sem auto-" louis entra na area da piscina falando estressado mas cortando a frase no momento que seus olhos azuis caem na cacheada deitada ao lado de seu filho "olá harry" ele fala simples recebendo um aceno de cabeça como resposta "não mexa novamente" ele levanta a garrafa de tequila olhando sério para o filho

"Pensei que estariamos sozinhos" harry vira para o garoto em seu lado, ele era quase uma copia de louis, tirando os fios loiros como de sua mãe

"Ele aparentemente ta de folga hoje, esqueci de avisar" ele senta virando de frente para harry "mas isso não impede nada" ele sorri sugestivo e levanta "vou dar um mergulho"

Oque nenhum dos dois notou era louis na janela de seu escritorio -- que dava para a piscina -- observando o casalzinho enquanto bebia direto da garrafa

Seu sangue fervendo quando os dois começaram a se beijar dentro da piscina

Não estava um clima ruim para pegar sol, afinal

"Ei pombinhos! Querem mais bebida?" Louis caminha até o local onde ficava as três espreguiçadeiras, agora ele usava um short laranja de praia e oculos escuros redondos enquanto trazia 3 cervejas na mão

"Ah não pai! Você falou que ficaria no escritorio" o tomlinson mais novo fala com uma carranca

"Oque? Não posso aproveitar esse dia ensolarado com meu filho e minha norinha?" Ele senta despojado na espreguiçadeira e abre uma latinha de cerveja, os olhos azuis fitando harry por trás dos oculos escuros, essa que estava sem jeito com as pernas em volta da cintura do namorado "não transem na minha piscina depois vai ser o senhor adrian tomlinson quem vai limpar"

"Vou pegar frutas, você quer?" Ela diz baixo para o namorado que assente e ela sai da piscina se enrolando na toalha para ir até a cozinha, os olhos azuis de louis acompanhando cada movimento

Harry pega morangos, uvas, bananas, maçã e melancia cortando alguns em cubos para poder levar para a piscina

Ela cortava os morangos quando sentiu as mãos grandes e quentes envolverem sua cintura

"Louis! Sai ele pode acabar vendo" ela se afasta tentando se esgueirar dos braços fortes

"Que veja" o mais velho fala pegando um morango da tabua e observa a garota continuar a cortar as frutas em silencio "esse morango ta docinho quer provar?" Ele não espera a resposta logo segurando as bochechas coradas pelo sol e a puxar beijando os labios rosinhos "vê como tambem não se importa que ele veja" ele fala com o rosto ainda proximo do de harry e tira a faca da mão dela deixando na pia

Ela o puxa para outro beijo e sente a mão de louis invadir sua toalha a tocando por cima do tecido molhado do biquini

Harry geme contra o labios de louis sentindo suas pernas fraquejarem se apoiando na pia para não ceder

Louis deixa mais um selinhos nos labios inchadinhos antes de voltar para a piscina como se nada tivesse acabado de acontecer deixando uma harry ofegante e com as pernas bambas para tras

✨️

O relogio marcava 2 da manhã, harry deitava ao lado de adrian que dormia ao seu lado, desde do dia que fodeu com louis na viatura nenhuma transa que ela arrumasse faria ela ficar no mesmo estado que ficou e as vezes que transava com seu namorado ficaram ainda mais entediantes

Agora era um exemplo disso, harry olhava para o teto e pensando se era uma boa ideia sair e ir até o quarto de louis ou era muito arriscado

Ela resolveu descer até a cozinha para pegar um copo de agua mas quando chegou ao balcão viu a sombra de louis sentada ali bebendo uma xicara de chá apenas com a luz de um computador iluminando o local fazendo-a paralizar

"Pode falar comigo, eu não mordo" os olhos azuis a encaram por trás das lentes dos oculos de grau, ela achava que ele não podia ficar mais atraente mas estava completamente enganada

"Só vim pegar um copo de agua, não quis atrapalhar" ela caminha ate a geladeira e enche um copo pelo compartimento de agua

Louis fita a garota não tão longe de si, ela usava um pijama de seda um tanto quanto curto, a popa da bunda aparecendo no shortinho e os peitinhos marcando pelo tecido

"Vem aqui" ele afasta a cadeira do balcão se virando para a garota "está me evitando?" ele fala ao que harry se aproxima se colocando entre as pernas dele

"Achei que era o contrario" ela fala curta deixando o copo em cima do balcão "você não falou comigo a semana toda"

Louis intercala o olhar entre os labios gordinhos e os olhos verdes da cacheada

As unhas de harry cravam no ombro nu de louis ao que ele junta seus labios beijando um tanto quanto lento comparado a força do apertos em sua bunda

"É errado louis" ela se afasta ainda sentindo as mãos em sua bunda "adrian está aqui"

"Foda se" ele levanta prensando harry contra o balcão voltando a beijar a garota que suspirava e gemia baixinho com os apertos em sua coxa

Ele a levantou com facilidade, deixando-a sentada em cima do balcão e se encaixando entre as coxas gordinhas

"Tem algum fetiche com a cozinha?" As unhas arranhavam os musculos dos braços fortes fazendo louis grunir com a ardencia mas nunca reclamando

"Depende quem esta nela"

Harry suspirou surpresa ao que louis a pegou no colo caminhando em direção a escada, ela beijava o pescoço que tinha o cheiro tão caracteristico do perfume que o outro usava

Louis caminhava tentando fazer o minimo de barulho ao que passava no corredor dos quartos e colocando harry no chão para trancar a porta

A cacheada junta suas bocas novamente o empurrando ate a direçao da cama e o jogando ali

"É bom que saiba se controlar" ele a puxa para seu colo e tira a blusinha do pijama

Ele faz uma trilha desde do pescoço cheirosinho até o final de sua barriga se afastando para observar as marquinhas vermelhas que começavam a aparecer ali "não aguentava mais ver aquele teatrinho" ele mordisca em volta do mamilo rosinha enquanto os olhos azuis assistiam as reações da garota atentamente

Harry gemia contida sentindo o apertos firmes em seu corpo, louis a coloca de joelhos com uma perna de cada lado de sua cintura e abaixa o shortinho do pijama junto com a calcinha de renda, ele joga harry na cama e começa a deixar chupões e mordidas pelo o interior da coxas banquinhas, como se a marcasse como sua

Ele beija superficialmente a buceta que vazava melzinho aos montes vendo a garota abrir mais as pernas e levar as mãos para seu cabelo

Os olhos azuis encontram o verde novamente, o olhar suplicante enquanto ofegava ao sentir o halito quente tão proximo de sua intimidade

"Lou..." o gemido saiu quase como um sussuro nos labios vermelinhos

Ele chupa o grelinho inchado ouvindo o gemido de satisfação da cacheada e o seu cabelo ser puxado o forçando contra a buceta

Ele endurece a lingua fodendo a entradinha que vazava pré-gozo observado a garota arquear as costas puxando um traveseiro contra seu rosto para abafar os gemidos

"Você é tão sensivel, amor" ele puxa o traveseiro do rosto da garota a beijando enquanto tira o short e a cueca

Ele leva os dedos com a tatuagem '28' para os labios de harry que chupou com os olhos verdes colados em louis

"Você é realmente uma puta boa" ele afasta os dedos que ficam ligados por um fio de saliva antes de leva-los até a entradinha molhada e penetrar ouvindo os ofegos da garota que abraça seu pescoço "mas você me deixa louco por ter que ver o quanto você finge a boa moça para o teu namoradinho" ele penetra os dedos na garota com mais urgencia

"Não temos nada" ela leva as mãos para a barba aparada do outro "você tem uma esposa tambem, isso é só uma foda" ela diz mesmo que sinta um bolo se formar em sua garganta

"Só uma foda mas muito melhor que as tuas outras" ele tira os dedos da garota e alcança sua mesa de cabeceira tirando da gaveta uma glock e um pacote de camisinha "todos esses anos nunca te vi gemer assim no pau do namoradinho" ele fala calmo enquanto checa se a arma estava vazia "ele por acaso alguma vez te fez gritar harry? Te fez praticamente chorar enquanto é fodida? Ou melhor ele te fez gozar alguma vez harry?"

Harry geme alto ao que a arma -- o cano agora envolvido em uma camisinha -- se encaixou entre os labios de sua buceta, logo tendo a mao de louis tapando a sua boca

"Vadia escandalosa" ele pega a calcinha esquecida no colchão e enfia na boca de harry abafando os gemidos da garota "ele já ao menos te deixou assim alguma vez?" Ele penetra devagar o cano da arma na entradinha que vazava melzinho aos montes

Era uma imagem digna de uma pintura, harry tinha os olhos marejados e a bochechas vermelhas, os labios vermelhinhos com filetes de sangue, ela puxava os lençois brancos em busca de apoio, marcas de chupões e mordidas por todo o seu torso, os cachos espalhados no colchão

Ela apertava o braço tatuado de louis que se apoiava ao lado de seu corpo sem parar de a foder com o cano da arma

"Queria tanto ser fodida por uma arma? Está se desesperando e se molhando como uma verdadeira vadia" ele massageia devagar o clitoris sensivel da garota que não demora muito para gozar molhando todo o cano da arma

Louis joga a arma no outro canto da cama e se encaixou no meio das pernas de harry simulando estocadas sem penetrar realmente

Ela gemia chorado com o tecido na boca abafando suas lamurias

Louis tirou a calcinha de renda da boca da garota e ele a beija enquanto encaixava seu pau na grutinha sensivel

"Lou..." uma lagrima solitaria escorria pela bochecha corada

Louis perdeu todo seu auto-controle quando percebeu o volume que formava no baixo ventre de harry ao que ele estocava contra a garota, harry gozou quando levou a mão para o local sentindo o relevo ali ficando molinha no colchão

O mais velho apoiou uma mão na cabeçeira e a outra na cinturinha de harry a fodendo mais forte e fazendo a cabeceira da cama bater contra a parede

"Puta que pariu" ele aperta o local gozando fundo novamente na cacheada

Louis deita ao lado de harry na cama que não demora muito para se aconchegar confortavelmente em seu peito, regulando a respiração e sentindo a porra escorrer por suas pernas

Eles só não esperavam dormir acordando apenas na manhã seguinte de uma maneira não tão agradavel

"Louis? Vida? Cheguei conseguir resolver tudo mais rapido, e trouxe o seu vinho françes favori..." carla, tambem conhecida como: mãe de seu namorado, mulher de louis, sua sogra entra no quarto paralizando na porta, as sacolas todas caindo no chão "LOUIS!?" Harry e louis levantam assustados na cama, harry puxando o lençol para se cobrir

"Mãe? Oque aconteceu?" Harry escuta a voz de adrian ainda no corredor não demorando muito para ele aparecer na porta tambem "pai? HARRY? Que caralhos..." o garoto tinha acordado confuso por não ver harry na cama mas nunca imaginaria isso

"Louis william tomlinson você realmente perdeu a porra da noçao" a mulher entra brava no quarto jogando uma mala na cama "ela é menor de idade louis! Você não é louco" ela encara harry encolhida na cama "provavelmente foi tu quem seduziu ele né sua puta"

"Carla calma! Porra não fala assim" ele acaricia a coxa de harry por debaixo do lençol mas a garota afasta ele se afundando no lençol

"Vagabunda" a mais velha fala antes de sair do quarto levando outra mala com roupas

"Harry que porra? Era por isso que vinha pra porra da minha casa? Tudo isso para-"

"Adrian vai para o quarto" louis diz rigido recebendo um olhar magoado do filho mas ele obedece "harry, desculpa eu não devia-"

"Tá tudo bem" ela levanta de cabeça baixa juntando o pijama do chão e vestindo de qualquer jeito, ela ao menos queria ir no quarto de adrian pegar sua mochila

"Harry escuta!" Ele levanta vestindo o short apressado indo atrás da garota "harry porfavor!" Ele para a garota antes que ela saisse da casa, louis a vira encarando-a

"Me solta, louis" ela não o encarava mas louis podia ver o rastro das lagrimas na bochechas rosinhas

"Harry..." ele não se afasta "deixa eu te levar em casa pelo menos, ou eu posso pegar a mochila no quarto do adrian"

"Otimo, pode pegar a mochila e eu vou embora depois" ela fala cruzando os braços e encostando na porta

Louis subiu apressado pelas escadas mas quando voltou não tinha sequer um rastro de harry

"You drew stars around my scars but now im bleeding"

✨️

Parte 3 sai depois que eu terminar e postar a do harry gravido porque temos um equilibrio aqui nesse perfil😍

#larry stylinson #harry styles #louis tomlinson #one shot #smut #one direction

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howlingday · 1 year ago

Text

Jaune Arc Is A Creep

Cardin: Ha! You stupid nerd! (Shoves Jaune) Reading books and shit!

Jaune: Laugh while you still can! You're the stronger one now, but some day, I'm going to grow up, and I'm going to teach myself how to make chloroform and knock you all out! Then I'll drag you into my basement and chain you to the walls! The first thing you'll see when you wake up is me, standing over you as your new god!

Jaune: AND THEN I'LL MAKE YOU WORSHIP ME IN WAYS NO GOD HAS BEFORE.

Cardin: ...

Ruby: (Bandaging him) And then what happened?

Jaune: (Sniffles) They beat me up and took my books~!

----------------------------------

Ruby: Fuck you guys! I'm going back out there and kicking their asses!

Jaune: No, Ruby! Vengeance protocol dictates that we should lay low after an attack and conserve our resources!

Ruby: Fuck the rules! They insulted us!

Jaune: Ruby, as a guy who gets his ass kicked so much he could be a professional, listen to me. The only thing we can do for now is survive!

Ruby: Oh, so I should just cower like you, should I? LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?!

Yang: (Pops Ruby in the head) As far as I can see, you're the only one acting like a little bitch here, Ruby. Now listen to what Jaune has to say.

Jaune: Thanks for sticking up for me, Yang!

Yang: Shut the hell up, Jaune! And you, Ruby Rose, open your mouth.

Ruby: Wha- (Bread shoved in, Gagging)

Jaune: Oh! Oh... Oh, wow... That's... That's kinda hot, Yang.

Yang: Eat, Ruby. Eat and build your strength.

Ruby: (Crying)

Jaune: Keep crying, Ruby. It'll make the bread taste like tears.

----------------------------------

Pyrrha: Jaune, I know this is tough, but... Is there a higher power you worship?

Jaune: I used to worship Monty Oum.

Pyrrha: Who's Monty Oum?

Jaune: THE GOD OF DEATH.

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Goodwitch: You there! Who the fuck are you?!

Jaune: Jaune Arc, sir!

Goodwitch: Why the fuck are you here, trainee?

Jaune: To become a huntsman, sir!

Goodwitch: That's bullshit! Look at you! I bet you play with dolls!

Jaune: Well, yes, but only for roleplay revenge fantasies, sir!

Goodwitch: Shut up, Banana-Slut!

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Blake: You can do it, Weiss. Just focus on your core when using the tether.

Jaune: Yeah, it's not too hard if you concentrate.

Weiss: Even you can do this, Arc? I know I'll regret asking this, but what's your secret?

Jaune: I, uh.... I kinda have a natural advantage with this skill.

Weiss: What do you mean?

Jaune: I, uh... I used to experiment a lot with auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Weiss: ...Just take me up the tether.

----------------------------------

Jaune: Oh! I also like to read!

Blake: Oh, really?

Jaune: Yup! For example, did you know that if you electrocute someone underwater, it'll leave no burn marks?

Blake: ...

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Jaune: So... I gave it a lot of thought, and I decided. I'm going to serve on the front lines.

Nora: What?! Why?! Jaune, seriously, you suck at everything you do!

Jaune: I know.

Nora: With your tactical brilliance, you could easily land a spot as an officer away from the battlefield!

Jaune: I know.

Nora: So why the hell are you coming to the front lines with us?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I WANT TO SEE DEATH.

----------------------------------

Ren: We're finally here, Jaune. We finally made it as huntsmen. Do you have any regrets?

Jaune: No. It was either this or med school.

Ren: I... wasn't aware you wanted to be a doctor. What was going to be your specialty?

Jaune: (Wide grin) EUTHANASIA.

----------------------------------

Coco: I'm open to suggestions.

Nora: Let's give all of our weapons to Ruby and have her use them to build a giant rifle-toting, sword-swinging mecha.

Coco: What is this, a fucking anime? No!

Blake: We could always give up and run away.

Coco: No!

Ruby: Let's play Arrowfell!

Coco: NO, GOD DAMMIT! NO! Does anyone have any good ideas?!

Ren: Jaune has one.

Coco: ...Dear god. Alright. How bad is it?

Jaune: This is an old revenge fantasy I used to reenact with dolls.

Yatsuhashi: Holy shit, this guy is fucked.

Jaune: In my most elaborate schemes, I'd pretend the dolls could see me before stabbing their eyes out and burning them alive.

Fox: ...Jaune, has anyone ever told you that you have an unhealthy obsession with ocular trauma?

Jaune: It's like closing the windows to the souls!

Cardin: You know, if we shoot out the Grimm eyes, we could finish them off without losing anyone.

Pyrrha: Jaune, you are the creepiest fucking guy I've ever met, but hey, that's not a bad plan.

----------------------------------

Nora: Jaune, can I ask you something?

Jaune: Sure!

Nora: This is going to sound stupid, but... Let's say I, hypothetically, have romantic feelings for a fake brother-

Jaune: You mean Ren?

Nora: Yeah, whatever. But let's say I acted on those feelings. Would it... Would it be wrong?

Jaune: Nora, why are you asking me about socially moral protocol?

Nora: Because you're the only one I can trust to not tell anyone. And even if you did, everyone would just assume you're being a creep again and I could deny everything.

Jaune: Wow, Nora. That's cold, dark, and manipulative genius.

Nora: I'm sorry, I just really need to know.

Jaune: I've never seen you in this light before.

Nora: Is it wrong?

Jaune: Hey, can I have a lock of your hair?

Nora: Answer my question, Jaune!

Jaune: Alright, alright! Look, the way I see it, I don't see anything wrong with your feelings, Nora. He wasn't really your family anyways, so even if you did incest-bang, it would've been fine.

Nora: It's not incest!

Jaune: I know, I know! I just prefer to think of it that way!

Nora: ...

Jaune: Bitch, don't even give me that look. You already KNEW what you were getting into asking me for advice!

----------------------------------

Marrow: General, wait!

Ironwood: God dammit, Wags, not now!

Marrow: General, Huntsman Ren and Pine along with Huntress Valkyrie are invaluable soldiers, and thus are completely expendable. But you should know that Huntsman Arc is said to be one of the most fucked up people on Remnant!

Jaune: (Thinking) No! They found my secret!.

Ironwood: Oh, really?

Jaune: Act normal- (Meow) NO, MISTER WHISKERS! NOT NOW!.

Ironwood: And just how fucked up are we talking?

Jaune: (Twitching hard) GET YOUR LITTLE CLAWS OUT OF MY EYES~!.

Marrow: Fucked up enough, some say, to rival even you, General.

Ironwood: ...To rival me, you say?

Ironwood: JAUNE ARC!

Jaune: MEOW!

Ironwood: Is what they say true?! Are you truly a fucked up little shit?!

Jaune: Well, I think I'm perfectly normal, but I may have a few desires and tendencies some may classify as... off?

Ironwood: ...Okay, Huntsman Arc. We're going to play a little game, and if you lose, the survival of both yourself and your friends over there, too!

Jaune: Sir, this is a horrendous abuse of authority-!

Ironwood: SILENCE!

Ironwood: Jaune Arc, I challenge you to a personal duel to the death! We shall fight with words to determine once and for all who is the most fucked up human being on the planet!

Jaune: (Huffs) Okay, this? I can do!

Jaune: I PLAY WITH HUMAN DOLLS!

Ironwood: I PLAY WITH HUMAN LIVES!

Jaune: I laugh at death!

Ironwood: I worship Salem on the weekends!

Jaune: SALEM! WORSHIPS! ME!

Ironwood: I lick tears off of orphans!

Jaune: I call arson a career!

Ironwood: I joined the military to watch people die!

Jaune: I celebrate living failure!

Ironwood: I submit to certain death!

Jaune: I harass the elderly!

Ironwood: I dip my soldiers with disease!

Jaune: I throw rocks at the homeless!

Ironwood: Oh yeah? Well, you wouldn't know anything about this because you're a virgin, but casualties are my favorite form of sexual foreplay! (Jaune stunned) YES! HAHAHA! Foolish child! You thought you could match wits with the worst of us and win?! You played the cards of a petulant boy, Jaune Arc, and now you and your little bitch friends will die!

Jaune: (Looks to his team)

Nora: (Thinking) You can do it, Jaune!.

Ren: (Thinking) There's no one I've ever met who's creeper than you!.

Jaune: You thought you were fighting a mere moral? You thought you could probe the darkness that is my mind?!.

Jaune: FOOL! I SHALL DROWN IN THE MAELSTROM OF MY NIGHTMARES! MY TENTACLES SHALL TWIST AND CONTORT YOUR THROAT AS I THROTTLE YOU WITH VISIONS OF HERMAPHRODITIC SUCCUBI AND VIOLENT! OEDIPEDAL! RAPE FANTASIES!

Jaune: I will take your cities! I will subjugate your children! I will rape and devour your armies! But you, only you shall survive, so that you may bear testament to my will and ultimate revengeance!

Atlas: ...

Vale: ...

Vacuo: ...

Mistral: ...

Salem: ...

#rwby #jaune arc #a slap on titan #james ironwood #marrow amin #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #cardin winchester #yang xiao long #fox alistair #coco adel #nora valkyrie #salem #yatsuhashi daichi #lie ren #pyrrha nikos #glynda goodwitch

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