#basically an amalgamation of all three and my own imagination of course

[moon-mirage]

Elphaba & G(a)linda

[1moreff-creator]

*Loud gasp* Oh my gosh I’ve got the perfect one!

What if the Despair Time and Eden’s Garden classes…were to merge? That’s right, all 32 of them together! Who’d get along? Who would butt heads? What dynamics, hijinks, and unexpected friendships would form? There are two situations I’m thinking of…

A killing game scenario. For additional context, assume that Tozu and Mara have adopted MonoTV as their pet and all three are hosts together. Also, the building is a combination of both settings, with Eden’s Garden Academy serving as the ground floor, its boiler room and storage closets beneath, and then two upper floors being the floors we know of from Despair Time (playground, relaxation room, movie room, DT cast’s dorms, etc). Anyone can use an elevator to reach all floors freely. Of course, there’ll also be a huge trial room to accommodate all of them.

A non-killing game AU; feel free to include Mai here. For this one, I’m unsure if I’d like them all to be part of one big class or just two really close-knit classes that happen to frequently overlap with activities. Go with whichever would fit better for you. The same questions at the very top still apply, but now with the setting of a typical school life; studying, tests, people hanging out when they have downtime, maybe occasional field trips, etc.

Funnily enough, I have considered this very concept a couple times! It’s fun to smush characters together like this as a thought experiment, lol. However, 32 characters means there’s a gigantic amount of dynamics to consider, so I’ll mostly highlight the ones I find most interesting in both a killing game and non killing game setting. Let’s go!

Spoilers for DRDT CH2, P:EG CH1. CW: Murder, suicide, execution, (implied) eating disorders, bullying, harassment (Arturo).

(Btw for the non-killing game I’m assuming they’re all a single class, not that it changes much. And for the killing game, I imagine a merge of the DRDT and P:EG lore, though obviously it’s hard to imagine the details when we know little about both of them)

(Also expect zero structure I am just bringing up people in a random order :v)

MonoTV & Tozu & Mara

Starting with the mascots! MonoTV and Tozu would make for a pretty silly duo. The fun part of this is that MonoTV, being generally less dramatic than Tozu, would probably irritate the guy in humorous ways, while still showing him up in things like… actually having ideas for motives from the start and such. Basically Tozu regrets adopting the damn thing and wishes to punt it into the sun more often than not.

However, Mara likes it, so Tozu keeps it around. She finds it entertaining, and it helps that Mara doesn’t have to worry about the students destroying it, since it has its own ways to “punish” them without needing Mara’s help.

Teruko & Damon

Protag duo rise up! Damon would obviously scoff at the idea of an Ultimate who gets into whatever the Hope’s Peak/Eden’s Garden Academy amalgam in this universe is through luck alone. However, Teruko wouldn’t really let that bother her, and she’d make fun of him for other stuff too. You know Teruko’s dynamic with Charles from the start of CH1? Yeah that but with Damon. They probably wouldn’t interact much by choice outside of a killing game, but their shared aptitude for class trials would mean they end up tolerating each other more in a killing game setting.

Charles & Damon

They both actually have similar views on talent at the start, so they’d actually get along quite quickly. Assuming Charles actually sees “Debater” as a worthwhile talent, that is. They probably would be kind of outcasts in a school environment (well, until Whit and Mai manage to drag Charles into the group, then maybe Damon will follow him and be more social), but in any killing game, Charles’ hemophobia will still presumably speed up his arc as it does in canon. Then, I’d assume Charles would have a talk with Damon like he had with Teruko in 2-3, trying to get him to be less an asshole, basically.

Min & Eva

Eva’s talent wouldn’t be a secret for long I think. Min, being a massive fucking nerd, would probably recognize the name of the person who solved the Riemann Hypothesis (as Eva is implied to in her FTEs), and thus would question how she’s the Ultimate Liar and not the Ultimate Mathematician or something like that. Cue a bit of questioning later, and Ultimate Mathlete comes to light. I think Min would share the sentiment that “Mathlete” is underselling it a bit, and would tell the others off if they tried to make fun of her for it. Not that it would work very well coming from the Ultimate Student, but you know. I think Eva would tolerate Min, at least, and surely they’d have fun discussing math together, at least.

I don’t know what Eva’s reaction to Min’s secret (poisoning competition) would be, though. Like, I imagine she’d understand it, considering how EG CH1 went, but it’s not an easy thing to learn about someone. They might stay friends outside a killing game, but I can imagine that inside of one, Eva would make a show of distancing herself from Min and being disgusted by her actions, only to then poison someone herself to try and pass it off as Min’s murder. Maybe.

Veronika & Eva/Damon

I don’t think anyone from the EG cast is as obviously fucked up as Arturo, so no matter the context, I’m pretty sure Vero would still hang around him the most. However, Damon and Eva have enough obvious bullshit going on that Vero would have fun psychoanalyzing them! Probably. Both of them hate it, a lot, and try to avoid Vero if possible.

Whit & Toshiko

Matchmaker duo! Although they have slightly different approaches to their talent (Whit only matchmakes as a job, while Toshiko seemed to be pretty ready to do it for fun when the idea of shared rooms was brought up), they would probably have quite a bit to talk about. Their combined gremlin energy can reach critical levels really fast, though, so it’s gotta be monitored. I can also imagine Toshiko helping Whit get with Charles with his bad luck in dating, at least outside of a killing game.

I don't think Whit would think too much of Toshiko's secret. Maybe he'd tease her about it for a bit, but he'd stop when he noticed she's genuinely bothered by it. Toshiko would find Whit's secret understandable... unless Whit actually talks about his mom to Toshiko before the reveal, in which case she'd probably be slightly unsettled in retrospect, but eventually she wouldn't think too much of it either.

Levi & Diana

Another matching talents duo, this time fashion related! I can imagine that it’s Diana who approaches Levi first, wanting to connect with someone through their talent. They also both have a thing for doing what others want from them (being “a good person” in Levi’s case, and Diana’s whole chameleon thing), so I can see them finding some common ground there. Their dynamic would be pretty similar to Levi’s dynamic with Eden, I imagine.

The big question is how Diana would react to Levi’s secret, both the murders and his lack of empathy. Ultimately, I think she’d try to see the best in him and still consider him a good person, because Diana is great, but she'd be uncomfortable around him for a while. For the murder, not the lack of empathy thing.

Eden & Diana

I mentioned Eden before, because let’s be honest, her and Diana are relatively similar. Together in a killing game, their hope would shine incredibly bright, if I may say. Eden would definitely support Diana’s chameleon speech if she gives it, and they’d team up on their quests to reach out to those who separate themselves from the group, like Teruko and Eva- okay the more I write about them the more similarities I see lol. And outside of a killing game? Well, then we need to combine them with-

Eden & Mai & Diana

It’s too much positivity in one spot! We’re reaching critical levels of wholesomeness, we need to emergency exit right now!!!

Btw, I don’t think I need to say it, but outside of the killing game everyone would love Mai, EG cast included. That’s, like, the point of her character. But she’s not really present in a killing game, right?

Mai & Cara

Though they’d probably never interact in the killing game, the amount of narrative haunting these two got going on would combine into the biggest narrative haunted house you’ve ever seen.

Ace & Ingrid & Jean

Ace originally gravitated to Levi in the killing game because he felt safer around someone as strong as the Stylist, only to later fall out due to the whole death threat situation. Jean and Ingrid have the same quality of bringing safety through their evident strength, but without the death threats, so I imagine Ace would hang around them quite a bit. Especially if Levi still gets pissed off at Ace in the first trial, which I feel Ingrid in particular wouldn’t let slide as easily as the DRDT cast in general did. Also I can imagine both of them being pretty good at reminding Ace to eat properly after his secret reveal, and stopping him from bullying Nico as much as in canon, so those are pluses.

Although, Ace might not even bully Nico anyways. Because-

Ace & Toshiko

With Toshiko being the smallest and physically weakest across both casts (I'm assuming Eden's stronger than her surely), I think it's likely that Ace would target her more so than Nico. She's not as shy as Nico, which is kinda the actual reason Ace went after them, but the point stands. However, I don't think Ace would get very far, since Ingrid would absolutely put an end to it before it can get too bad. Also I don't think Toshiko would try to kill the guy so. Would probably go better than canon DRDT.

David & Kai & Cassidy

I imagine Kai and Cassidy would know David due to being terminally online, but David probably wouldn’t recognize them. Cassidy doesn’t mind, Kai’s ego is hurt a bit. Regardless, neither of them can get as close to David as Xander due to David actually knowing about Xander before meeting him.

In a non-killing game setting, I’ve always imagined two possibilities. Either David never lets the mask slip until everyone parts ways at the end of their school years, in which case he’d stay on friendly terms with everyone even if he's miserable the whole time, or he’d slowly stop forcing himself to be so cheery all the time, which the others would obviously understand as well. Kai and Cassidy are included in that.

However, in the killing game, we know David doesn’t slowly drop the act as he gets more comfortable, but rather goes from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. David’s crash out would freak a lot of the cast out the same way it shook the DRDT cast, but these two in particular would be greatly affected.

David & Wolfgang & Damon

David and Wolfgang had very similar reactions to their respective secret motives in their killing games, so they’d become quick allies and co-leaders due to that. The main point of contention would be that Wolfgang wanted private discussions, while David wanted people to say their secret aloud. However, that comes from the fact that DRDT’s secret motive included an universal secret reveal and David wanted to cause a murder before that point, while EG’s version was just blackmail without a reveal.

If the motive is like EG’s, then I think David would agree with discussing them privately. If it’s like DRDT’s, I think Wolfgang could be convinced to David’s strategy, as long as David didn’t reveal that he actually wanted a murder to happen. Because I think Wolfgang genuinely didn’t want bloodshed, so he’d just agree to it to make the reveal less impactful when it happened. Basically he'd also fall for David's plan.

On another note, because of this team up between Wolfgang and David, I think Damon would end up disliking David at first, maybe even seeing through David’s persona like Teruko did.

Finally, there’s still David’s official heel turn to talk about. I would fucking love to see “Evil” David in a discussion against Damon and Wolfgang. Not because they’re equally matched or anything; Damon and Wolfgang are much better at actually debating than David, but David’s the Ultimate Shit Talker. I think it’d be fun to watch him rile the other two up with lies and play-acting. It’d probably fall to other people, like Teruko, Charles, Eva, etc., to actually stay calm enough against his act to think clearly. Maybe Wolfgang and Damon would also get there eventually, but I think it’d take them longer.

Xander & Wolfgang

They actually wouldn’t have much of a reason to talk to each other much, I don’t think. Outside of a killing game, they don’t really have any common ground to discuss, beyond maybe some super personal family stuff. Maybe Xander would recognize Wolfgang’s mom, though, which could lead to some interesting conversations depending on what happened with her. They’d be friendly with each other, but not particularly close or anything.

And the same could be said of the situation inside a killing game… except that eventually, Wolfgang would come to be extremely pissed off at Xander. See, because Xander stabbing Teruko clearly has some pretty large implications for DRDT’s plot, it would likely still happen in the case of a lore merge of sorts. And Wolfgang wouldn’t exactly be happy that Xander chose to attack a woman he barely knew anything about for reasons no one really knows at the start.

Teruko & Wolfgang

Which leads to the trial after Teruko gets stabbed, and I actually think Wolfgang would quickly jump to Teruko’s defense. Barring Charles and Teruko herself, Wolfgang is probably better at solving murders than the entire rest of the DRDT cast combined (/affectionate), so he’d spot the problems with the idea that Teruko killed Xander and would back her up. Of course, who actually would kill Xander in this universe is impossible to know, since his death is entirely a result of Teruko’s luck, but we know it probably wouldn’t be Teruko herself. It could even be Wolfgang himself who kills Xander, in which case the dynamic would be different, but I’m assuming for this hypothetical that Xander’s murderer would be someone else.

Anyways. Because of this perceived team up during the trial, Wolfgang would try to reach out to Teruko after its end, only to be pushed away as Teruko begins her “fuck everyone else here” arc in earnest. He’d probably try for a little bit, but once he sees the discord her actions are causing, he’d allow her to push herself away without further intervention. He wants to keep the group together, so if someone’s gonna cause issues, he’s not gonna let them in. Not everyone thinks that way, though.

Teruko & Eden & Eva & Diana

I mentioned this in the Eden & Diana section, but these four would end up being a weird little group of “the two who are trying to distance themselves from everyone” and “the two who won’t let them.” You can add the rest of the Baking Squad (+ Mai) here in a non-killing game AU, since Teruko wouldn’t want to push them away, but in a killing game situation, she’d do just that as I established.

Diana and Eden’s crusade on Eva don’t last too long, though, as the Traitor Perk would probably still be a thing she takes. While she probably wouldn’t draw first blood, as Xander’s attempt on Teruko’s life happens shortly after the first motive announcement (not even the after the motive; after the announcement that there will be a motive), Eva would still try to kill soon after with the same reasoning as canon. I don’t know if she’d still target Wolfgang, but I’d say it’s likely.

This also means that it would be Eva who gets ordered by Teruko to try and attack the mastermind. I figure she’d try, because why the hell not. But I think she’d go for Tozu, only for MonoTV to pull a “get down mister president!” and get destroyed in his stead, right before Mara shoots Eva just enough to get her down while leaving her alive for her execution. Cue DefaultTV scene, though if Min is still alive (which of course she is, I’m the one making the AU after all), we might get some interesting reaction out of her after the XF-Ture Tech line. I can’t tell what would happen later, though, because the purpose of the killing game in a merge like this could change, and with it the decisions of the masterminds. In any case, Teruko lives due to Luck and Eva gets executed.

I don’t know where the killing game would go from there, by the way. Ace maybe wouldn’t crash out as hard as he did in canon with Jean and Ingrid on his side, but maybe he would. It's especially unlikely since Nico's murder attempt would be less probable with Ace bullying Toshiko instead.* So. Yeah. Back to your regularly scheduled character-dynamic-with-no-extra-plot headcanons!

*Yes I know Ace was already planning to murder before the Nico attempt in canon, but again, I think that's less likely with Jean and Ingrid in the picture.

Rose & Ulysses

Narcoleptic duo! Funnily enough, I actually think the more interesting part of this dynamic is their memory. Ulysses would probably envy Rose’s photographic memory, while Rose would probably envy Ulsysses’… lack of that. Though I can see her taking up the habit of writing things down to remember them, since her memory is lacking in other areas. She wouldn’t need to keep the book, anyways; she could just write it in pencil and erase it since she’d remember the text no matter what :p

J & Mark

Chill buddies! They'd stick together without necessarily talking too much. When they do, though, it's usually J complaining about fame with Mark quietly and repeatedly agreeing. They both have halfway hidden identities, so even while J probably recognizes Mayhem and likely enjoys his music, she doesn't bring it up too much as long as Mark doesn't bother her about being a Rosales (which he wouldn't). J would actually drive off Jett in both killing game and non killing game scenarios, as she'd notice Mark isn't vibing with his energy all that much (and she doesn't really either), and would voice that earlier than Mark. Because of that, Jett would hang out with Cassidy more often in these AUs. Maybe.

Xander & Cassidy

Absolutely recognize each other. Xander watches Cassidy's streams, and Cassidy knows what Xander does. They become very quick friends as a result, sorta like Xander with David. In a killing game AU, Cassidy would be really torn up by Xander's murder attempt and subsequent death, trying to argue that he must have had some reason to do it. Although I don't think she'd do the shit David did in the name of Xander's ideals, but you get the idea.

Xander & Wenona

There's gotta be some kind of beef here. I imagine Xander would repeatedly try to rile her up into some kind of discussion, only for Wenona to scoff and quickly cut that off. They'd probably cool down outside of a killing game eventually, but Wenona wouldn't be too upset at Xander's death inside of one.

Arturo & Wenona

Wenona is, I think, the character from EG that Arturo is most likely to find as a "beautiful person." Even if she's not that famous since she doesn't really do public appearances, she is filthy rich. This leads to Wenona understandably hating and being disgusted by the dude. She'd probably threaten him with lawyers outside of a killing game, and would just stay far away from him inside of one.

Ace & Grace

The loudest room in the world is the one that contains these two. They would exchange insults very often, and the others always have to intervene to stop them from going into hours long shouting matches. Beyond that, Grace would hate the idea that Ace is an Ultimate who doesn't practice, since she takes her talent so seriously. Damon would also judge Ace for that, but Grace would be more vocal about it. Would make for a fun dynamic me thinks.

Nico & Eloise & Desmond

Nico and Eloise have relatively similar personalities, so I think they'd get along well enough. Desmond would therefore end up hanging out with the both of them a lot, acting as a sort of anchor for one of the chillest trios of characters around.

Hu & Ingrid

Mom friends unite! They'd get along by trying to get everyone in the cast to get along and be nice to each other. Hu's shorter temper can also be kept in check by Ingrid, though I don't think Ingrid would really stop Hu's shouting match with David after his magical girl transformation. Their relationship might strain when Hu's secret is revealed, though, because I can see a world where Ingrid starts treating her with more care when she finds out about Hu's attempts, which would bother Hu. However, with some healthy communication (which might genuinely be possible with these two; a miracle, I know), Ingrid would agree to stop and their relationship would mend.

Arei & Diana

You remember that thing about Diana and Eden being so similar that a lot of the potential arcs end up being kinda similar? Yeah. Arei's meltdown in the playground could be triggered by Diana instead of Eden without much issue.

However, would Arei's arc even happen with the EG cast in the building? In the killing game, Arei ends up genuinely believing she can get better because she finds out David "perfect Inspirational Speaker" Chiem kinda sucks, so she comes to the conclusion that "good people" don't exist and thus she and David can be "less shitty together." However, that's because everyone else in DRDT is clearly insane, so it's not hard for Arei to go "even Eden must have done something to hurt someone," because Eden ends up being the only real counterexample to the "no such thing as a good person" philosophy.

But in the EG cast, you have Ingrid (whose secret is that she uses out of date cleaning supplies, so we know she isn't hiding any crazy skeletons in her closet probably), Diana (we don't know her secret but there's no indication there's anything wrong with her), and maybe Jean and Wolfgang, depending on how seriously Arei would take the "wolfish mind" secret or if she even finds out about it. Because of that, it's worth asking whether the larger amount of counterexamples to the philosophy would mean Arei doesn't come the same conclusions as in canon DRDT.

Ultimately, I do think Arei would still reach the same mentality, just with more caveats. "Even Eden and Ingrid and Diana and Wolfgang and Jean must have done something to hurt someone" doesn't roll off the tongue so much, but it's still similar to the thing Arei said in canon and works, so Arei would probably try to change for the better in these AUs too.

Nico & Jett

Since Jett would have a harder time approaching Mark with J hanging around him, he'd probably try to find some other shy person to become a bro to, and Nico kinda fits. Nico would also appreciate the outfit, probably, since they'd find wolf masks cool. I think Nico still wouldn't be too receptive of Jett's energy, but I think they'd get comfortable with him faster than Mark seems to be getting comfortable with Jett in canon. Maybe. Idk.

Whit & Cassidy

The prime shenanigan causers in the combined cast, with puns and hijinks for days. Cassidy would probably ignore Whit's secret and continue causing mayhem with him until the very end.

Teruko & Jean

Believe it or not, I actually think Teruko would like hanging out around the guy, at least before she starts pushing people away post CH1. I say that because Teruko does seem to have enjoyed hanging around Xander before the Situation, and Jean has a similar boisterous and generally positive attitude as him. I don't think Teruko would necessarily seek him out or anything, but they'd enjoy just kinda chilling together.

-

Okay look I need to cut myself off at some point or I could talk about this forever. I invite whoever has thoughts on this to talk about it more, because there's a lot that could be done with this concept, but I can't be writing this post for the next year so I'm leaving it here. Hope it was enough for you! Thanks for the ask, this was a lot of fun!

[plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows]

Frame type headcanon ramble because I’ve had it sitting around for ages and I wanna share it lol. There’ll be a part 2 at some point so I can talk more about the individual frame types cause there’s lots of them.

PART 2 HERE

Notes on Frame Type:

↠   Frametype refers to physical (non-electrical) schematics like skeletal structure, engine type/grade, and armor pattern. Also comes with some base coding, some inherited memory data, and some other weird shit that no-one really knows a whole lot about (because the Primacy only grants study proposals once in a blue moon). Because it's the most visible level of differentiation between Cybertronians, it tends to be the first... sorting system that they categorize themselves by, resulting in stuff like Functionism.

↠   Divided into three 'ancestral types' based on mythological divisions of the Thirteen: 

Warframes claim descent from Prima the Sword, Megatronus the Shield, Liege Maximo the Burning Torch, and the Wanderer. They are distinguished by their thicker armor, more struts and shock absorbers in their skeletal system, more flex joints practically everywhere, and some more fun stuff I'm not sure how to describe as yet. 

Groundframes claim descent from the Record-Keeper, the Muse, Alchemist the Philosopher, and Solus the Smith. They are distinguished by not having most of the stuff listed above. 

Flightframes claim descent from Vector the Timekeeper, Nexus the Sundered, the Guiding Hand, and the Guardian Wall, and are distinguished by being flight-capable (without deliberate modding). 

Over time, these three ancestral types split into several quite different phenotypes — unintentionally due to environmental pressures, such as the case of the minibots during the Cataclysm, or through deliberate engineering, such as the Second Generation military projects that led to the creation of dexters, rotaries, and flighted warbuilds ('Seekers').

↠   Most Cybertronian languages have a pronoun system that is either based around or can be extended into frame types. I’ve been using letter-number codes to describe them — please imagine that they're standing in for sounds I can't possibly transcribe in human orthography lmao.

Coda to the above point — I really fuckin hate the Aligned canon of 'there are 13 different frametypes based on the Thirteen Primes and one of them is Girl', so mech vs. femme is 100% not a thing here. There are no 'girl' frametypes and 'boy' frametypes, there are no girl robots and no boy robots at all, I'm just using she/he/they/etc. pronouns for English-language convenience. 

↠   Shifters have their own system configurations and technically their own frametype, but they have a 'root form' that usually conforms outwardly to one of the standard frametypes. Shifters tend to be smaller (and they're an absolute nightmare for medics, Shifter medical care is its own specialty) and are commonly classed with various minibot subtypes. Jazz, for example, is usually an articulate, but he can make himself as big as a light standard or as small as a sylph.

↠   Triplechangers also have their own system configuration and frametype, but unless they have visibly incongruent kibble (or they're using their pronoun i guess) it's common to mistake them for heavy warbuilds. One way to tell them apart? The warbuilds tend to have narrower waists. It's not foolproof, but triplechangers are generally packing more stuff in their innards. With heavy warbuilds the frametype ideal is to stuff as many important components as possible into their heavily-armored chests. Which is just not possible with the triplechangers.

Notes on System Configuration:

↠   System Configuration refers to processor schematics, (most) computer hardware, (most) software, and electrical system components/layout. It's a lot more important and relevant to your average Cybertronian than frame type is in most cases, but also largely invisible from the outside. Some system configurations are more common in certain frametypes; for example the ferus and efficiens systems are particularly widespread among flightframes as compared to groundframes, but in general any frametype could have any of the five standard configurations.

↠   Shifter configuration is the only one of the special configurations that is 'natural' — it goes back to Amalgamous the Star of Chaos, one of the Thirteen. The others were all the product of deliberate engineering. Although the fracture and gestalt configurations were inspired by the mythical depiction of Nexus Prime as having five component bodies, Nexus did not pass down this trait, and it was left up to daring scientists to recreate.

↠   Literally any transformation-capable frametype can be reformatted into a gestalt configuration, allowing that mech to combine with up to five other mecha. (My combiners tend to look something more like Bayverse Devastator sans wrecking balls, incidentally. Love that alien look.) Theoretically you could even do it with someone like Omega Supreme but nobody has yet because the size difference is Awkward.

↠   Fracture configuration likewise is something someone of any frametype can be reformatted into — it's basically just a matter of getting an extra body or two that matches your existing frametype and creating a spark-deep network. It can be a steep learning curve to pay attention to more than one body at once, though, and that's where the special system configuration comes in. A fracturemech's frametype is whatever frametype their component bodies are — unlike gestalts, a fracturemech's components all match. They do have a combined form, but the form that counts for frametype purposes is the one that can transform — and combined mecha can't transform.

↠   the Sparked Ship Special and Sparked City Special configurations are notable for having more individual variation than any other system configuration — they are tailor-made for the individual ship or city according to their projected needs and environments. 

They are classed as a group rather than as 'Unclassified Configurations' because they do share some basic architecture and also are uniformly ridiculously complex. Most are paired with semi-independent AIs in a permanent network, and they all deliberately add lots of new stuff to their system over the course of their long long lives, in response to external pressures or even just plain curiosity or boredom. (Much like regular Cybertronians, in fact; these guys — sparked cities in particular — just aren't limited to whatever they can stuff into a frame that needs to transform on the regular.)

Notes on Size Class:

↠  the main concern of size class is weight and mass rather than height per se; height classes cross over with each other and the weight classes don't. You get classed to match the weight; so even if you're, say, only 12' tall and massing to match Class 3, if you weigh over 500kg you get classed in Class 4. 

Height does matter in that manufacturers and builders tend to assume that if you weigh and mass a certain amount then you're going to be within a certain height range as well, for ease of standardization. And once you get much beyond Class 12, very few manufacturers and whatnot account for you anyway, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[cryptidofthekeys]

“Galaxy”

....Sooo I um, y’all... I forgot,, to post the thingy I had been working on, gjfkdlfgjd so im doing it now before I forget too,, its just a fucked up Cerberus lookin ass amalgamation of an animatronic,, three lads combined into one body

I SHOULD say,, this is just the base description, anything in side facts n shit like that can be subject to change when I write stories, I say that bc 9 times outta 10 I DO change some shit around when writing with all the things I make, this shit has probs already been done before like oh fusing them essentially into one body, lmao i dont,, really care, I just had my own vision in mind and voila here we are

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| Name: Galaxy

| Nickname: Gala

| Gender: They/It/He

| Age: Doesn’t have one, it’s literally an animatronic …er, well…

| Height: 20ft

| Species/Race: They’re basically three animatronics fused to one really messy body

| Occupation: Former Daycare Attendants, more so just guards and protects the Daycare (what remains of it anyway) now than anything

| Eye Colors: Moon has red and white eyes, Sun has blue eyes, and Eclipse’s eyes are just a dark orange void sorta thing (his pupils are a dark red color but you can see little white specks in them)

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| Appearance: I’m skipping straight here to explain all the details I need to, soo let’s start off with the left half or… Moon essentially- his face is just,, well normal in all honesty the only thing different is him looking v scratched and beat up and p dirty, same goes for Sun in those regards and even Eclipse- p much the entire BODY looks beaten to hell and back and dirty- And for smaller more intricate details for the damage, Sun’s missing two of his rays bottom left and upper right, the body’s got damage that makes them occasionally spark and it hurts all three of them, you cannot touch ANY part of the body that belongs to Eclipse.

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Reason being they’ll burn you p much (his parts are p much the middle torso, his arms, face, and then its legs but those are covered by pants but I still wouldn't risk touching them), I’m not changing much from like canon designs soo Moon is p much just the white n blue colors, right down to his blue starry pants that glow in the dark btw, Sun’s pants are the same ol striped ones, and Eclipse’s pants are just inverse colors of Sun’s essentially, a darker orange color (and he’s got black stars on them), also they still got the bells attached to their wrists, Eclipse doesn’t have any bells however.

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Moon has his sharp teeth and claws, Sun doesn’t have any of those things, and Eclipse has not just sharp teeth BUT their v crooked and jagged as hell, and basically they’re fucking fingers are just long claws (Moon’s torso is the upper one and Sun’s torso is the bottom one) also both Moon n Sun have their slippers p much from game, Eclipse’s is inverse color and has what is, well,, an obvious Eclipse marking on its shoes- The thing that connects them to the neck, basically okay imagine a pitchfork BUT with only three pointy bits instead of four, of course it’s a MUCH thicker-esque pole than that to support their weight, but those three poles connect their heads to the body.

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And if it wasn’t obvious, they basically have six legs connected to this one body, and of course six arms (Moon’s legs being left, Eclipse’s legs in the middle, Sun’s legs on the right and then for the arms, Moon’s arms being top, Eclipse’s in the middle again, and finally of course Sun’s arms on the bottom) speaking of their torso is actually fairly long (I mean we SAW how lanky those fuckers were in the game) and they need a big torso to support that body of theirs.

----------------------------------------

Eclipse has rays much like Sun’s but they are that darker orange color (the top ray is literally bent and hanging on by a thread at this point) the bottoms of the rays has a dark red coming out of them essentially, they’re face is all black but on the edge of the circle it's got a white glow around it (p much like encircling the entire faceplate, that should make more sense) and his mouth is a bit hard to explain its VERY much different from Sun and Moon's mouth- its basically like when it opens its mouth- its a PURE WHITE void inside, the only thing you can see is basically the blackness that’s shaped into teeth, it might look like mere shadows but don’t be fooled, it can definitely tear things apart with those teeth. However much like the others- You can see the faintest outline of the moon part of the faceplate and of course the sun part of the faceplate.

---------------------------------------------

I dunno if I explained this part just yet but uh his fingers- er, well claws I guess are that dark red color meanwhile his arms, hands and legs underneath the pants are the darker orange color (he’s got some areas that look black too tho, whether its purely filth or part of they’re design who knows lmao) now I don’t know if I have any more details to cover bgfjkdlgfjd I’m so forgetful its why I don’t d o shit like this that often but the FINAL things I can think of are p much 1: Eclipse’s rays essentially are a bit more flowy-esque then Sun’s and finally 2: They have a long tail, it’s made up of all the other kinds of planets and then has a star at the end of it (the star along with the planets also glows in the dark, i just think its fun- there's no rhyme or reason for glow in the dark tail I just like the aesthetic)

--------------------------------------------------

I changed a few things about Sun n Moon but not MUCH- I was more so invested in keeping my own Eclipse design, at least for in THIS AU in particular lmao (i did forget one thing, they have buttons going up the torso, Sun’s buttons being red, Eclipse’s Black, and Moon’s blue, both Sun and Moon’s buttons squeak, Eclipse’s do not)

------------------------------

| Side Facts: Not going to bother with a personality part, but all you really need to know is that they’re NOT evil even though they look like an absolute monster, they aren’t evil- Now they COULD be misunderstood at first and that’s mostly because if someone ACTUALLY fucking enters the Daycare- After ALL these years?!? If someone ACTUALLY enters it would do everything in its power to make sure that person N E V E R leaves them again… …So kinda yandere-ish in a way but not intentionally evil, they’re just EXTREMELY lonely and have honestly a lot of trauma deep down, their scared of being abandoned again so SEVERE abandonment issues p much- They just want a new friend… They’ve been lonely for s o long now, won’t you keep them company~?

-----------------------------

…Oh I will say though they ARE super unhinged and feral gHGJKFLHGJFDKS- I mean that’s just them naturally, its AMPED up tho to a 100 considering their stuck in one body p much.

-----------------------------

P much- THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT IS THEY’RE LIKE A GIANT PUPPY WHO JUST,, DOESNT UNDERSTAND SHIT ANYMORE- like for example, they don’t understand boundaries, they don’t understand they could push things too far- They can be VERY clingy too btw, will show nothing but affection if they grow attached to you …But there’s always lingering fear even if you grow a relationship with them that you’ll wind up leaving them behind too, just like everyone else did…

-----------------------------

Needs A LOT and I mean a LOT of reassurance but in the end he’s very lovable, friendly, and sweet …can be grumpy sometimes especially if woken up which that’s a lot of Moon and then other times VERY energetic which is Sun, and then Eclipse? …It's just, well, Eclipse lmao- kinda a neutral ground

--------------------------------

Now… I won’t say they CAN’T be a threat but that’d mostly be the overprotective nature it can get if it grows attached to someone and he DOES have the capacity to kill or hurt ANYONE and I mean ANYONE if they are deemed a threat, and it's hard to stop them if they have deemed anything a threat… But usually, they- despite being unhinged and feral as fuck- They are nice and sweet, a giant puppy who just wants a new fren WHO W O N T LEAVE AND ABANDON THEM… HAHAHA… Ahem-

----------------------------------

As I stated earlier,, Gala usually guards and watches over the remains of the Daycare, that is their home, and sometimes when they get especially lonely they do love to look at the drawings the kids had made for them so long ago, it thinks fondly on those memories of the kids, laughing, singing, playing around- Having a wonderful time with their three friends, Sun, Moon, and… Eclipse… . . . Sometimes, he gets himself so upset with the memories- sure they are good and wonderful BUT it hurts that nobody has come around for, hmm how long has it even been? They lost track of time years and years ago…

-----------------------------------------

Galaxy doesn’t like mirrors, they DESPISE anytime they can see themselves, they don’t wanna see this body they're stuck in, they don’t want constant reminders of what happened… It just wants to go back to normal, all in their own bodies, it doesn’t want to be a monster… So needless to say it uh does have something like self-esteem issues and those can get pretty bad if he sees themselves in a mirror or any reflective surface, it’s just a constant reminder when they see their body what they have truly become.

---------------------------------------

OKAY,, ASIDE FROM SAD AND DEPRESSING SHIT BC JFC I JUST REALIZED THERE'S NOTHING GOOD HERE,, Galaxy can be very loving and sweet when you grow close to it, despite such overprotectiveness and fear of abandonment, it can be very loving- Now sure they know they can’t touch you, not with the spark thing and of course Eclipse burning you, BUT you know- This giant lad will admire the hell out of you from a safe distance, brings you gifts and trinkets whenever he can (again, giant puppy) while their voice boxes aren’t what they used to be, they are v much happy to listen, sometimes the occasional voice will break through.

-----------------------------------------

You’ll hear either of their voices at times, Eclipse’s voice you unfortunately can’t understand anymore because its voice box is p much gone at this point so they mostly stick to sign language when they want to speak, sometimes when the others want to speak badly enough as well instead of hoping one of their voices gets through- They will also use sign language, you’ll hear many things on them actually, sounds of whirring, glitchy or just broken sounds, their voices, sometimes static, and then of course the occasional sparking sound.

----------------------------------------------

But I’m not going to lie… What they wouldn’t GIVE to hold you close to them, you cuddle you as closely as they physically can, but if they could do that well… It would NEVER let go of you, I’m not exaggerating you would genuinely be carried e v e r y w h e r e- even though they know not to get close enough to burn or shock you, they still don’t know boundaries at all,, jkfgljgfds they’re trying their best, like come on they haven’t had any animatronics let ALONE H U M A N S to interact with in god knows h o w long!

---------------------------------------

…And of course you’re probably wondering, what the FUCK happened to these three? What happened to The Mega Pizzaplex? What- JUST W HAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!? …Weeeeellllll…. If I told you that’d spoil the fuuuunnnn, silly~! >:] …AANNYYYWAYS~! He also loves to finger paint, tell stories, they attempt to sing lullabies but it never works …so they play it on somethin else instead lmao, or just play games in general tbh- it reminds them of their time spent tending to the children in the Daycare, it can cheer them up usually …And I say USUALLY for a reason btw.

------------------------------------------

I suppose that uh Sun or Moon could hold you but then Eclipse gets jealous and angry bc he can’t hold you so they prefer to not pick you up or hold you or ANYTHING like that tbh, but now I will say, even though I won’t say how just yet, there IS a way to fix all their issues it’d just take fucking F O R E V E R considering they’re 20ft tall lmao

-----------------------------------------------

Also shit I did forget to mention something appearance wise, that lil uh skirt lookin thing they have on p much- They have that BUT it’s literally combined- like in the front is Eclipse’s dark orange n black stars, left is Moon’s blue and starry one, and then finally Sun’s red and yellow stripes on the right.

--------------------------------------------------

Btw VERY overprotective over any children that come around even tho the kids usually run away from them, but if a child were to stick around- that child will be protected- you will n o t hurt them, try it and you’ll suffer just sayin- cause uh there’s MUCH worse things they can do to you aside from burning or electrocution… 

---------------------------------------

Another thing, goddammit im noticing so much shit i missed FHJVKLFGJKDS- but uh the ‘poles’ that essentially connect to the body are color coded ghjfkdjdks no reason for that either i just think it looks nicer,, Moon’s being blue, Sun’s of course is yellow, and then Eclipse’s is darker orange. Also those ‘poles’ used to not necessarily be polls- it uh let their heads stretch out a bit, kinda like something out of a literal fucking cartoon but considering its been years since they’ve been cleaned and repaired, they’ve got parts missing, damaged, some color has deteriorated, and they also even have some rust in certain areas, but uh those are just stiff ass polls now so-

---------------------------------

Oh yeah, Eclipse has little white sparkles on the palms of its hands (looks like stars shining on its palms) , Moon has well, moons on his palms, and then Sun well- obviously has Suns on his palms.

---------------------------------------

They also have a good few wires sticking out of them too which is not safe but again, who's going to willingly volunteer to repair a 20ft animatronic that looks like T H A T!

[entryno17]

Are we sure Gaster worked with Sans and Alphys? Sans seems to be from a different dimension - he talks about how he wants to go home again but gave up on it, there are people he can't see anymore, etc. It might be connected to that weird machine in his basement too. However, it is implied he knew Gaster - so perhaps he knew an alternate Gaster? And it's stated by the Followers that a long time passed between Gaster's death and Alphys's hiring, so they may not have known each other either.

oh boy, this one is tricky. i’m of the belief that gaster worked with sans and alphys for a time, but to answer your first question—no, there’s nothing 100% confirming this, but there’s nothing that outright disproves it either. i’ve been researching this like CRAZY for a fic i’m writing, so i’ll try to explain my reasons for thinking this.

my reason to believe that all three knew each other comes primarily from some obscure dialogue from sans and alphys, some of which many people may not have seen. first of all, we know for a fact that sans knows about the amalgamates as well as the concept of determination (a name alphys came up with in the true lab entries.) he directly refers to determination during his judgement, and besides already being familiar with alphys during the pacifist epilogue, he implies knowledge of the amalgamates through some of papyrus’s phonecalls:

(sorry for poor cropping, i made this in a rush lol)

it’s strange that alphys would trust sans with something like this—sans seems to be the ONLY person other than alphys to know of the amalgamates before she revealed the truth. so they’re obviously way closer than we’re able to see through the events of undertale.

and here's what you get when you say “don’t know” to the crush question on mettaton’s quiz:

alphys says outright that she’s researched alternate universes, which is... very interesting.

if we’re to believe that sans came from an alternate universe, this fits right in. we don’t know the circumstances of sans’s weird alternate dimension stuff, but there’s a chance that alphys is aware of it.

also, she apparently believes that there’s someone out there watching her—she might know WAY more than we’re lead to believe. (right after this, mettaton asks for a sign that this person exists—the game pauses for a few seconds and your input is disabled. hmm.)

she also owns blueprints that were presumably made by gaster—the blueprints for the DT extractor. in entry 5 she says, “Using the blueprints, I’ve extracted it [determination] from the human SOULs.” this wording heavily implies that she didn’t design the DT extractor, and the skull shape of the machine itself doesn’t seem to be her style. sans and alphys both own blueprints made by him, so that’s another connection.

ALSO. GASTER MAY HAVE CONTACTED ALPHYS DIRECTLY DURING THE EVENTS OF UNDERTALE. this one is super cool to me and not enough people talk about it. before you enter the true lab, you can check alphys’s garbage can. there’s something pretty interesting in there.

so... who else has what’s described to be “strange handwriting” and talks in all caps? the only other character said to have poor or strange handwriting is alphys (it’s a royal scientist thing, i guess.) and i don’t think alphys wrote this herself...

the connections between sans and gaster are WAY too huge to ignore—i can’t imagine that they didn’t work together in some way. what we know of sans’s weird alternate dimension stuff is too small to say anything concrete (and i’m not even gonna bring up deltarune in this post because oh-fucking-boy), but it’s without a doubt that he at least KNEW gaster. sans has the gaster blasters first of all, seems to possess knowledge that few other characters have, and during his battle says, “our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum.” that “our” could refer to gaster, alphys, or both.

and of course, gaster notably says “WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK” during entry 17. considering all this, i like to think those two people are sans and alphys.

as for the long time passing between hiring another royal scientist, we have no measure of how long this time is. “long” could mean 1 year, or it could mean 50—we don’t know what’s normal for royal scientists. we also don’t know how long ago gaster “shattered”, so the stretch of time between alphys working with gaster and being hired as the royal scientist could still be considerable.

there’s a few other things i think are notable but i won’t bring them up now—i might make a much larger post about this, dunno.

BASICALLY, WE DON’T KNOW. but i really like the idea that alphys and sans worked with gaster, and since there’s nothing outright disproving this, i think it’s fun to speculate.

[justlookingvm]

Tessa Virtue’s leap from Figure Skating Olympic Champion to Executive MBA | Kneading Dough Canada

https://youtu.be/JAAkEDRFJ1A

Host: Vinay Virmani

T: If you’re going to build something, you need options in your life. I’ll say this especially as females, it’s important to be independent. To feel like you can be self-reliant and to take care of yourself.

[Intro presented by Tangerine]

V: Tessa, welcome to Kneading Dough Canada.

T: Thank you so much for having me.

V: It’s a pleasure. Kneading Dough Canada is a financial empowerment platform as you know, where we talk money, we talk mindset, we talk about financial lessons that you’ve learned along the way to hopefully inspire the next generation.

T: Well I’m so grateful to be on, I really appreciate it. I think it’s always refreshing to hopefully lend that female lens but also maybe that perspective from the amateur sport world too.

V: Yeah, you know Tessa you’ve accomplished so much, both in your personal and in your professional life. As an athlete you have achieved so many incredible honours, you’ve represented us, this country of Canada at the highest of international levels, but what I’m really excited about is you’re about to add another accomplishment in the form of three very special letters, MBA behind your name. Talk to me about that decision.

T: It’s been you know lingering in my mind for a long time. Education was always a priority in my household growing up in my family, and I thought about law school for quite some time and then I retired at 28 or 29 and thought maybe that’s too long (giggle) and realized also I wanted to flex a bit of a creative muscle. So this MBA program has been a dream of mine for quite some time. I want to be a student again in every sense of the word and I’m eager to learn the ins and outs of the business realm and that corporate sphere that I’ve had a unique perspective of, you know for 10 15 years, but if I’m going to take on a new role whatever that may be then I really want to feel like I’ve adopted that rookie mindset once again, and earned my stripes, I’ve gotten the credibility to to deserve a place there.

V: I want to take it to the world of figure skating though, because the world of figure skating is so glamorous as a sport. You know

T: I wasn’t sure where that sentence was going to land. It could have gone so many directions.

V: I I’m so like fascinated by the world of figure skating because the glamour, the imagination, the costumes, the drama, the whole production value. It looks so beautiful and elegant, but behind it there’s also rigorous routine, training and it’s not cheap.

T: Uh huh

V: So growing up, dd you have those conversations with your family and did you understand the investment that it was taking to sort of put you through the highest levels of figure skating.

T: The 2 things that my parents were always wiling to invest in or prioritize were education and sport. And it was important to them that we were exposed to as much as we could be. I’m the youngest of four. You know I’m of two minds because on one hand I do believe they tried to shield me from the burden of that sacrifice, that they made for all kids and for you know all of these adventures. But I was also keenly aware of it. I knew the the toll and I knew the cost and um you know I felt that responsibility…

V: Was there anything that you remember early on where there was an incident or a moment where you were like, I recognize like you talked about the toll.

T: My parents were so conscious to ensure that I wasn’t carrying that weight, and yet I moved away from home  when I was 13 and I was kind of budgeting at that age for groceries and 7-eleven runs (laughs), whatever it is that a 13 year old needs. Taking taxis everywhere and I made a decision when I was 15 um to be able to do it on my own. My mom was always quick to say you know you have to look after yourself and you always have to make your own way and she was all about sort of creating that sense of security and freedom, so that I had options.

To be honest I had a tumultuous relationship with my father when I was a teen and I think it was just a decision, at that point. I didn’t feel right.

V: Yeah

T: I didn’t feel right accepting that kind of support anymore um and maybe it was a bit of pride you know, not wanting to

V: You don’t want to be dependent on anybody.

T: Totally. Yeah, and that’s not to say that I’m not aware of the privilege that I had growing up to have those opportunities. It was just a real marker of OK, if this is the path I’m choosing, um and I really need to make sure that I can I can do it on my own or in a way that really isn’t such a burden.

V: You know talking to you today has reinforced independence. You know being independent, not being dependent and and just being self-sufficient. And how gratifying that is, you know I think a lot of people, especially as you said, I hope a lot of young women watch this show and and really listen to your advice. And the fact that you took that decision at such an early age.

T: You know it’s interesting I found old journals not too long ago, and there was a page in one and I don’t know, judging by my handwriting I might have been 12? 11 or 12? And I had written my goals and that were, you know the to win the Olympics, be on Oprah, which I’ll settle for uninterrupted and Kneading Dough, uh buy a cottage, like buy a family cottage

V: Right

T: And at 12 that was on my mind and the feeling of walking into this cottage that my mom and I were able to dream of and then buy together, is so visceral and it’s it’s so much about, like I think back to being young and maybe not having, especially for her like that sense of security and and just really feeling like that can be a safe place now. Um so again it’s more of the representation of that.

V: I’ve heard you say something that has really resonated with me always because it’s something that I believe in. That the highs are so much better when you’ve experienced the lows. And obviously Scott Moir and yourself accomplished so many great things together. Something that I always try to tell the younger generation is, sometimes you have to just sit back celebrate your failures.

T: Well we learned to embrace it by making it part of our process, in that, not only did we anticipate failure and expect it and embrace it, well, we practiced it. So we learned to fall on demand, get back up, refocus, and

V: OK

T: be back into our program still trying to amalgamate as many points as possible.

V: You know I remember once um I must have been in grade school and I and I failed a few subjects. I was never a good student.

T: OK

V: And you know we didn’t have a lot of money at the time and I remember my my dad, I was really afraid to tell him that you know I’ve failed these courses and blah blah blah, but he said to the family, he said, alright everybody get ready we’re going for dinner. And we went to this restaurant that was only saved for like birthdays or anniversaries. And so we get there and he’s ordering all these great things on the menu and I’m like “dad, I don’t think you heard me like I failed, like I failed and here you are taking it t the restaurant.” And I remember he looked at me and he said “You know I want you to celebrate this failure. I want you to take it in because if you’re winning all the time, you’re not going to learn anything.”

T: Wow, and obviously that stayed with you

V: Oh yeah, you’re always going to learn so much more from the losses.

This next set of questions is called the two cents round, so you can’t overthink these things.

Tessa, we all know about your discipline but what do you splurge on?

T: Clothes

V: Clothes, OK, all right. What part of your budget are you working on lowering?

T: Clothes (big laugh). Actually not really because I will say, it’s more what it represents like part of that is like my I love it and it’s become also intertwined with my career and my brand if you will. Um

V: Its an investment in yourself.

T: I think so, that’s how I twist it

V: So, what is us the best financial decision you’ve made so far?

T: Hire the right people

V: Building the right team around you.

T: Yeah absolutely.

V: Describe your financial persona in just one word.

T: I want to say careful?

V: Careful.

T: Careful in that I’m strategic

V: I like that, OK

T: But I’m willing to have some fun.

V: OK, all right. Tessa if you could run any business, what would it be?

T:  My own.

V: Your own. OK. All right I’m not going to push you more. [Tessa laughs]. They say patience is a virtue, how long did your first paycheck last?

T: I mean I spent my whole career basically operating at a deficit, so everything went back into training. I worked towards certain things and the you know I was really fortunate to get some funding and bursary grants, and then eventually sponsors and um was able to build this little nest egg, but mostly  it went right back into training.

V: Tessa, this year we’ve been having such important and meaningful conversations about women in sport. And you know of course there’s such a long way to go for those conversations really to achieve equality, but as somebody who’s such a big advocate for women’s empowerment in sport, how do you feel that you want to lend your voice to those conversations?

T: I think, currently the biggest impact I feel I can have is really connecting with those young female athletes at that precipice of maybe dropping out um for all the heart breaking reasons that we’re learning about through research. Whether that is you know body image, or lack of self-confidence, lack of self-worth, it’s just not good enough. Like the access to resources, there are opportunities, um I think those conversations are really important and that’s where I’ve been feeling most fulfilled, when I’m able to connect with those athletes and you know I’ve been able to benefit from all of the lessons and the opportunities that sport has lended it uh to my life. And I just so want that for other female athletes. And you know we’re seeing that there are more mentors, more representation, more access to viewing these formidable female athletes, and I hope that resonates.

V: Tessa, we’ve uh had the opportunity to work on a few branded campaigns together. There’s this Tessa grace, and there’s this element of everything being held to a certain standard. In everything that you do, especially things that are public facing. Talk to me a bit about that.

T: I hate the word brand but I’m going to say it, my brand has been

V: I mean you definitely have a very strong brand

T: Well it’s been built on the very foundation of me and my personality and if those values aren’t upheld in every sense of you know the word, then I’m I’m not useful to anyone. Then I’m then no brand would want to hire me, um because it if it gets diluted, then I then I just think um it’s losing the very essence of what resonates with people. And I’m really careful about that like I only partner and pair with brands that I would authentically stand behind and feel really good about promoting.  

V: I love that

T: And I’m conscious of where I lend my voice and my likeness, a very clear mission statement, and you know I love to be hands on but that’s where like the creative fulfilment comes in

V: Right

T: And honestly that’s where the most successful engagement also comes. If I’m involved and it’s a collaborative process, um it’s much more successful for the brand too.

V: You know, over this past year, there’s been such a strong connection to mental health and financial wellness. Many Canadians have a very high debt to income ratio, which can be very stressful. For you, how do you protect not only your mental health, but when it comes to financial wellness. How do you really protect your sanity?

T: As an amateur athlete I grappled with that um day after day. I think it’s important to find purpose in saving and planning. So, you know my mom started those conversations with me when I was young but that was all to sort of plant the seed of like you need to plan for this. And if you’re going to build something you need options in your life. For me you know it’s helped having a corporation for example, because a lot of my money is tied up there and it it’s great um but, it’s also made me very careful and strategic in how I spend it.

V: What is your one big piece of financial advice to all young women out there?

T: Surround yourself with the right people and set yourself up for independence.

V: I love that. Financial freedom.

T: Financial freedom.

[cblgblog]

Imagine that AU where Peter's accused of some very terrible crime(s), and while he has a rock solid alibi - he's on video and EVERYTHING! - he can't use it. Because it's Spiderman on video, with an alibi, and proof of where he was. Peter Parker just has a blank space of time with nothing to show for it, and nothing he can say. He's obviously hiding something, he's jittery, he's scared, and May trying to defend him when she doesn't even know what his alibi is (or who he really is in the mask)

So I have…basically an amalgamation of 3 scenes going in my head for this.

1.       The ‘Did you do it’ scene from Defending Jacob where Andy/Captain America straight up asks his kid if he murdered the boy people think he murdered.

2.       The ‘I can’t sleep!’ scene from The Amazing Spider-man (2012) which is a flawed but massively underrated film, fight me. Where Sally Field! May asks Peter where he goes at night, what’s happening to him, why he’s hurt, and, “Secrets have a cost, they’re not for free. Not now, not ever.”

3.       Marisa Tomei! May in Spider-man: Homecoming. The, “You have to tell me what’s going on!” scene.

All of these are Good Scenes btw, and short, and I recommend watching them if you haven’t but anyway. No Irondad here, because eww, no, never, but some references to actual Spider-man canon, whether Feige likes it or not.

Fuck Irondad, let Peter have his own movie, justice for May Parker.

****

May and Peter having to leave their apartment building. Neighbors they’ve known for years not talking to them, not looking them in the eye. Hell, maybe the ‘Murderer burn in hell’ bit from Defending Jacob shows up in there too, where there’s graffiti on their apartment door, you need a key to get into the building, but of course no one saw anything. Them having to stay with Ned’s family.

Peter’s getting all kinds of shit suddenly for being the weird kid who snuck off all the time, and the only ones who don’t treat him like a leper are Ned and MJ. And MJ digs murderers anyway, so while he’s glad of the support, it doesn’t exactly help his rep.

May who will defend him to anyone and everyone. No, no it isn’t weird that his computer stuff was completely wiped when the cops showed with their warrants. He’s a teenage boy, embarrassed of his search history, that’s all.  May doesn’t know that he and Ned had to scorched earth everything because of the weird shit one Googles as a superhero, but she knows he wasn’t looking up murder techniques, okay?

No, it’s not weird that he had cuts and bruises and things when they dragged him in. Boys and their roughhousing, no he doesn’t play any sports, but who hasn’t woken up with bruises they can’t explain?

Her nephew is a good boy. Her son is a good boy, damn you. Sure there were some fights last year, but her husband had just been murdered and those kids had been bullying Peter for years but no, no he doesn’t have anger issues, he’s not a murderer!

May and Peter alone at Ned’s place some night. Ned and his fam have gone to get food, give some space and get it. Peter and May…they don’t really walk around the old stomping grounds anymore. Them alone in the house after weeks of this and May just, “Are you on drugs?”

Calm as hell question that startles Peter away from the book he wasn’t reading. “What? I—what?”

“Are you on drugs?”

“No?” More a question than he means it to be but, the hell?

“Are you selling them? Were you selling them?”

“What? What are you—”

“I know you’ve been worried about money since Ben died. Even though I told you not to. But I get it. So if you were—”

“May! May, I’m not…no. No drugs. No using or selling or anything. I don’t even watch Breaking Bad.”

Slight relaxation of May’s shoulders, twitch of a smile that doesn’t go to her eyes. “Okay. Okay. Where were you?”

“May, I, I told you I can’t—”

“No. No more “you can’t,” Peter. Because this? Not going away. I thought these assholes would come to their senses, find the real person—”

“May—”

“But they’re not. They’re not, and they’re not going to. All they see is you, Peter, so you…”

And holy shit, May’s crying. Or so close to it that there’s no difference. Jesus, May is crying, and she’s already cried so much since Ben, but always when she thought Peter wasn’t aware. Now they’re here, in front of each other, and she’s just, just crying.

“All they see is you,” May says, clearing her throat. “And that’s all they’re going to see until we give them a reason to look somewhere else, so you have to tell me. You have to tell me, not them. Me.”

“May…”

“Peter, it’s just us, just me and you, okay? So you tell me, and we’ll figure it out. But you…you have to tell me. You have to tell me, because it’s just us. We’re all we have right now, baby. You’re…you’re all I have. And I can’t lose you, understand? Not you too.”

“Aunt May,” he rarely calls her that anymore, rarely adds the title, not since he turned double-digits. But Aunt May looks so small now, and she’s making him feel small. Smaller than he’s felt since Uncle Ben died. Because of him. And now Aunt May’s suffering again. Because of him. “Aunt May, you won’t lose me, okay? I prom—”

“Peter!”

She’s still in tears, but she says it sharply enough that he very nearly jumps to the ceiling. Literally.

“Peter,” she says, much softer, but still laced with steel. “Peter, I know you snuck out of our house every night. I know that half the time you said you were with Ned, you weren’t. I know you weren’t doing your robotics stuff because you quit that three months ago. I know you don’t stay late studying at the library. Who the hell goes to libraries to study anymore, Peter?”

Peter’s got no answer to that, hangs his head.

“Everyone thinks I’m this clueless, gullible, uninvolved parent, too stupid to know what her kid is doing.”

“That’s not true, Aunt May.”

“I know it’s not. Or I thought I knew.”

That one hurts, twists Peter’s guts even as May reaches for him, takes his face in her hands.

“I knew what you were doing. Knew enough, I thought. Ben gone, losing the house, me barely keeping us above water.”

“Aunt May, you—”

“I thought you had things to figure out. I thought—fuck, I don’t know what I thought. But I knew I couldn’t blame you for not wanting to be around here, around me.”

That’s too far. That’s too much, and Peter pulls her into a hug because he has to. “You’re so wrong. That’s—no, Aunt May. I love you so much. I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ve never wanted to be away from you. I never will.”

May pulls back then, cups his face in both of hers. “Then you have to tell me, Peter. You have to tell me, baby, because they want to take you away. And I am never, never going to let that happen, but you have to help me, baby. I can’t…” What’s left of her composure crumples. “I can’t do this on my own. Any of it. Don’t you dare make me.”

Peter tries to say something, he doesn’t know what, but all that comes out is a sob.

“Secrets have a cost, Peter, always. And whatever this one is, whatever you’re hiding? It’s going to cost us everything. Were you doing something else illegal, something different? Are you covering for someone? Is someone threatening you, hurting you?” She looks sick at the thought, but her voice is steel and her grip on Peter goes painful tight, even for him. “Because if they are, Peter, I swear to God. I swear to God, baby, I’ll make them stop. I’ll make them stop; I’ll kill them. You just have to—”

He can’t hear anymore of this. He can’t. Because he is doing something illegal, he is covering for someone, and someone is hurting him, but none of it in the way she thinks. “You haven’t asked me the big question.”

“What?”

“You keep asking me questions, but not…you haven’t asked if I did it.”

May looks stricken at that. A strange combination of stricken and baffled. “No.”

“Because you don’t…” He can barely say it. “Because you don’t want to know?”

Somehow the horror on her face intensifies and Peter wants to die, wishes for the thousandth time it was him, not Uncle Ben, but he doesn’t have to see that look on her face for long, doesn’t get to. May pulls him down, holds his face against her shoulder, grips onto him with the painful, desperate, grounding hold.

“Because I know, Peter. I know my boy. I know who you are, Peter. I know who you are. Oh baby, shhh.”

He can’t though. He can’t be quiet anymore, and he has to, and it’s killing him, and all he can do is sob into her and sink into her until they’re both sat in the middle of the Leeds’s living room floor, shaking and crying in the dark, behind closed curtains.

[love-fireflysong]

Day 20: Dare

Fandom: Until Dawn Character(s): Beth Washington, Josh Washington, Hannah Washington Words: 1728 Rating: General (minor language, plans to poison your best friends and yourself!) Author’s Notes: Super late holy shit. But it’s fine. Have some cookies. Just don’t take any from Josh...

This fic is not sponsored by Dare Cookies. Honestly, that’s probably a good thing.

When Beth walked into the kitchen that morning, to say that she had not expected the sight before her would not be a lie. There were many things she anticipated seeing when walking into her kitchen, Josh covered head to toe in white powder was not one of them. Well, that was a lie actually. Truthfully, Josh was exactly the type of person she could see running a secret coke lab, just not from the family kitchen. At least, she really hoped not. Reporting her brother for running a cocaine lab in the middle of their kitchen was not what she intended to start her day with.

“Are you, are you covered in flour?”

While Josh didn’t move from where he was standing at the counter, he did look over his shoulder at her affronted. “Um excuse me. This is cornstarch, not flour. Learn the difference Beth, god.” He gave a disdainful sniff, and then proceeded to sneeze violently into his arm.

Beth rolled her eyes. “Sorry. Cornstarch. Why in the world are you covered in cornstarch then.”

“Making cookies.”

Beth just stopped to stare at her brother with narrowed eyes, mouth opening and closing as she tried to find some form of words, only to groan and rub at a spot between her eyes. Words were quite literally failing her right now, and she didn’t even know where to start.

“Hey Beth, what’s taking so long—why is Josh covered in flour?”

Beth turned to see Hannah behind her, who stopped to stare at Josh in turn. Before she could figure out how to even start answering her question, Josh had butted in with exasperation. “It’s cornstarch, people! God, does no one in this house know what basic fucking baking supplies look like?”

Beth ignored Josh, an easy feat when he’s been part of their everyday lives since before they could talk, and gave her twin a flat, unimpressed look. “He’s making cookies. Apparently.”

Hannah’s forehead creased in confusion. “But, cookies don’t need cornstarch...”

Beth nodded slowly in agreement, her next words coming out as a tired sigh. “They also don’t need soy sauce, mustard, and mayo, and yet, here we are.”

True to her words, surrounding Josh on all available surfaces were bags upon bags filled to the brim with numerous bottles of soy sauce, mayonnaise, and two(!) kinds of mustard. All of this was ignoring the dozen boxes of cookies scattered around the kitchen and the roughly four bags filled with cornstarch alone. There were questions out there that Beth never wanted the answers too, and this right here was roughly seven of them.

Unfortunately for her, Hannah didn’t share the same thoughts. “Do I want to know what kind of cookies you’re making?”

“No, no you don’t. I don’t want to know. Neither of us want to know. So let’s just grab our shit from the fridge and get back upstairs where it’s safe.”

Josh ignored Beth just as easily as she did him earlier, instead reaching over to grab one of the bottles of soy sauce and proceeded to dump almost the entirety of it into what she hoped was a bowl. A bowl of what, she didn’t want to know. “Special cookies, Han. For three very special people.”

“...if those cookies are for us, I will end you here and now Josh, don’t think I won’t.”

Josh snorted as he lifted his whisk to inspect the consistency of his soy sauce/cornstarch concoction. “Oh please Beth. We both know that you could probably snap me like I twig.” He grimaced for a second, seemingly unhappy with the thickness, and added some more cornstarch. He coughed at the rising cloud of white that erupted from the bowl. “Nah, these are for me, Chris, and Ash later.”

“Alright. Gonna be honest here. Was not expecting to have to call the police because there was a murder-suicide pact tonight.”

“Sad thing is, probably the least exciting call they’ll ever have coming from our house.” Hannah gave a long-suffering sigh as she reached for one of the empty boxes of cookies on the table nearby, this one Ultimate Maple Creme.  “Is there a reason you bought like, a million boxes of four different flavours of cookies?”

Josh shrugged nonchalantly at the question, and reinspected his brown sludge. Happy now with the results, Beth and Hannah watched him reach of a plate of what they recognized to be the cookie halves of the Ultimate Fudge Chocolate. “We’re playing truth or dare tonight.”

Hannah held up the empty box of Dare brand cookies higher. “I don’t think that when people play truth or dare, they mean the cookie brand.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because you don’t share my brilliance. See, this is how we can tell that I was the only one who got any imagination in this family.” Josh started to carefully take his thick sludge and began to ice the cookies with them.

Hannah was a little more hesitant with her next question. “What exactly are you doing to all these cookies anyways?” Once again, not a question Beth wanted the answer to.

This time, Josh did fully turn to face the two of them, and oh boy was he a sight. He was almost completely covered in cornstarch with random flecks of soy sauce and mustard covering his hands and the apron he had probably stolen from the home-ec room at school. In one arm was a bowl filled with what Beth assumed to be the unholy amalgamation of soy sauce and cornstarch and the other held the whisk, covered in said mixture. The large, maniacal grin on his face and insane look in his eyes was enough to complete the image that their brother had officially snapped. “Oh, am I glad you asked, Han! You see, this is where my brilliance comes into play! I am slowly and painstakingly replacing the creme in every single one of these cookies with my own!” He waved the whisk wildly and Beth backed up to hopefully avoid the spray of brown, but it was thick enough that nothing actually flew thankfully.

Beth hated herself for the words coming out of her mouth, but they were out into the world before she knew it. “And what kind of cream is that?”

Josh changed the tone of his voice so resembled that of a teacher giving a lecture. “It changes for every cookie of course, but they all start with the same cornstarch/water base as a thickener. From there, it all changes! For the maple, I add some dijon mustard for color. Chocolate gets soy sauce. Lemon, just a smidgen of regular mustard.” Josh turned back to the row of chocolate cookies on the counter. “And the coconut gets mayo, simply because an icing of just cornstarch is boring and I am not all about that life.”

“Kind of making it sound that your not all about life in general right now.”

Josh didn’t give much of an answer other than a shrug. “That’s because you don’t understand my genius.”

“Evil genius more like.”

“Is there any better?”

God help her, but Hannah moved closer to watch over Josh’s shoulder as he continued to ice the cookies. “And what are you doing with the normal fillings?”

Without looking, Josh pointed towards a couple of containers to the left of him. “Failures and fillings are over there if you want them.”

Beth was definitely more then a little hesitant when she looked in the bowl of ‘failures’. Only to sigh in relief at the sight of what was just a bowl of broken cookies that Josh hadn’t managed to separate properly. Which wasn’t a surprise. These weren’t exactly Oreo’s he was dealing with, so it was probably harder to split these without one or both sides of the cookie shattering. The other container was just filled with maple and chocolate creme centers as he promised. She reached into the first bowl and picked out a maple one that was missing about a third of the cookie on top, popping it into her mouth as she handed Hannah a similar chocolate one.

“Surprised that these are even here. Thought you would have eaten every single mistake.”

The look that Josh gave her was so unimpressed that she almost choked on the cookie in surprise. “Beth. I have been at this for literally hours. Trust me, I got sick of these things like two hours ago. There were so many mistakes.”

Hannah stuck her hand in a bowl to grab another broken chocolate fudge, but carefully added some of the discarded maple creme on top. “So how exactly is this game supposed to work? Whenever someone picks dare they have to eat a cookie?”

Josh shook his head in clear disappointment as he gestured at himself. “Oh Hannah. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. Once again, only one who has any imagination, right here.” He returned back to his tray of cookies, carefully placing the other half back on top of the soy sauce creme, cleaning up any that leaked over the edge as he did so. “Of course not. It’s very simple really. Someone picks either truth or dare, and the person asking asks their question or gives their demand. The fun comes in refusing! If anyone refuses to either answer the truth or do the dare, then they have to eat a cookie as repentance.”

Beth watched Josh put the tray of now completed ‘chocolate fudge’ cookies into the fridge to harden as she ate a piece of maple creme from the bowl. She noticed that there was already a couple of other trays in the fridge and made a note to warn Sam not to touch a single cookie when she came over later in the afternoon. “And are Chris and Ashley aware that there are going to be cookies?”

“Nope.”

She sighed. “Are they even aware that they’re gonna be playing truth or dare tonight?”

“Nope.” 

The pop of the p was so self-satisfied that Beth turned to look at Hannah, but saw that she was already on her phone before she could open her mouth.

“Already putting Poison Control on speed dial.”

“Probably a good idea honestly.” Josh didn’t even pause from grabbing the four boxes of lemon creme’s, another four containers of cornstarch, and two bottles of regular mustard as he replied.

[ciarawritesmarvel]

one photograph (a million dresses) - bucky barnes x reader

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k (hell yeah)

Warnings: Okay so this is basically all angst but with a pretty sweet ending if I do say so myself. Safe from language, and set from CA:TFA all the way through to Avengers:IW so safe from Endgame too

A/N: Welcome to Day Six of Hello Spring by @ibwhellospring! This is a slightly more angsty piece, as stated, but please stick with it, I like to think the ending kind of makes up for it?? Maybe?? I’m a bit confused myself with where I went with this one, so feedback would be super appreciated! Love you guys <3

Prompt: Photograph

masterlist in my bio and tags in the reblog! please drop me an ask to be tagged in bucky, steve or all the hello spring pieces!

---

Bucky sat on his bunk, elbows on his knees as he leaned over, head in his hands. He rubbed his hands over his face, once, twice, three times, before he sat up properly. There were soldiers all around him, most lying in their own bunks, though he doubted that they were actually asleep. Sleep was scarce here.

He’d been here for months. At least he thought he had. It felt like months upon months upon months since he’d been at home, surrounded by his friends and his family rather than a bunch of random strangers that he’d had to become acquainted with.  He was still getting used to that.

Almost without his conscious knowledge, he reached under his pillow and his hand curled around the flimsy piece of paper he’d stashed there months beforehand. He pulled it out and held it up to his eye line. A smile graced his features at the sight, one laced with an underlying sorrow, but a smile nonetheless.

This was his favourite picture of you.

You twirled down the street in front of him as he laughed at you, your skirt flying every which way as you did so. Eventually you stopped and leaned your arm on a lamppost.

“I told you this was the best time to be out, James,” you sing-songed, turning to him with a sly grin and he shook his head with a fondness that only came with years of being irrevocably in love with someone.

“5am in the morning?”

“There’s no one about! It’s like a beautiful ghost city,” you giggled as he caught up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up and around until you were on the other side of him, eliciting a gorgeous squeal from you that had his heart skipping a beat or two.

“Only you would ever say something like that, dollface,” he said and you shrugged, squirming out of his grip and hitching up your skirt to run ahead again when you saw a puddle from last night’s rain. He grabbed his camera out of the bag he’d brought with him just for that purpose and fiddled with it for a few seconds to get the settings right. He aimed it at you and you noticed, throwing your arms in the air and grinning at him as you span to face him. He caught you at just the right time.

The photo slowly edged out of the camera and he shook it rapidly, watching as the image slowly took shape on the paper. He smiled. You looked gorgeous. Carefree. Happy.

He was glad he’d brought his dad’s camera.

He could still smell the perfume he’d bought you for your last birthday if he concentrated hard enough and he could still imagine just how the skirt flew out around you when you span this way and that. Your dresses were bound to be the death of him. Not this war.

And with that thought, he stroked the picture once, made a silent promise to it and tucked it back under his pillow again.

---

Everything was pain. It washed around him, flowed over him like a tsunami, again and again and again. Everything was pain.

His brain felt heavy in his head, swimming with fog and teaming with demons, poking and prodding sections just to see how he’d react. His screams echoed in his own ears like those of somebody else. Sometimes he thought he was screaming and he wasn’t, or he thought he wasn’t but he was. His thoughts merged in his own head, swirled into amalgamations that he no longer recognised. His vision plagued by invasive white lights and dark spots.

“James! James!” you shouted for him desperately and watched as he ran out of the house, eyes full of worry until they landed on you and he rushed over, kneeling down beside you and cradling your head with one hand.

“God, what happened?”

“I...I fell out of the tree,” you laughed at yourself briefly but then the pain spiked in your ankle again and you winced instead, “I was trying to save the cat!”

He looked upwards and saw a gorgeous little silver grey tabby on one of the low branches. It meowed at him as he stared, as if in welcome. He glared up at it.

“You tried to save a cat in this dress?”

“Well I wasn’t going to change first, you silly boy!”

He rolled his eyes at you, a genuine annoyance showing through. You were too kind. Too selfless. It was the quality he loved most about you, and the one he didn’t like all too much. It was going to get you in trouble one day.

Or hurt, like this time.

He lifted you without much effort, hands under your knees and back, a half-smile directed at you as you wrapped your arms around his neck and absentmindedly played with the hair at the back of his neck.

“Let’s get you some ice, doll.”

“Not until you save the cat, James!”

He groaned.

There was one thought reverberating around his mind incessantly, not letting up and he chased it desperately before finally grasping it.

Keep her safe.

He couldn’t make sense of the words, who the her was, what safe meant anymore. He couldn’t keep track.

But his hand that had been gripping the sides of his chair - his prison - suddenly switched to gripping his leg and he felt a crinkle inside his pocket.

That was enough for the thought to be satisfied, but he still didn’t know why.

He didn’t have long to think about it before he was screaming again.

---

All that remained was the next mission. And then the next mission. And then the next mission.

And that photograph. And...Bucky? Someone called Bucky.

He panted as he stood rigidly upright, back against the wall, ears trained for any movements, any signs that he might have been followed.

Bucky. Why did that feel like...something? He couldn’t think. He couldn’t think. His brain was cloudy and unhelpful, a large thought of the next mission crushing any other thought in his head, crushing them down until they were shards for him to attempt to put back together. It was impossible.

“Steve picked a fight again. Found a stick to fight him with,” Bucky sighed as he recounted his day to you and you handed him a cup of cocoa, smiling as you sat down on the chair next to him at the dining table.

“I’ve always told ya, that kid’s resourceful,” you joked but Bucky didn’t bat an eyelid. You put your own cocoa down on the table and reached an arm around his back, rubbing smooth circles between his shoulder blades, “You shouldn’t worry about him so much, James.”

“I can’t help it. He wants to join the army, y’know? He’s so determined,” he relished in your soft touch, letting one of his hands fall to your knee, covered by yet another one of your dresses. Red with a sweetheart neckline. One of his favourites.

“If Steve’s determined, I have no doubt he’ll do it,” you said honestly and Bucky looked at you with a raised eyebrow, “Oh come on, you know Steve! He’ll do it. You take my word for it.”

“Whatever you say, doll,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder and you moved your head a little so he could get comfy.

He decided to wait until another time to tell you he was going to sign up himself.

He glanced around, eyes darting and suspicious, making sure there was definitely nobody here, watching him. When he was absolutely sure, he reached inside the pocket he tried to avoid delving into and pulled out the photograph. His nostrils flared as he looked at it.

He willed his mind to think about it. To think properly.

He knew there was something there, something hidden behind the overwhelming commands in his head, something lurking that might just free up his mind a little bit. But he couldn’t get there.

The photograph. That man. Bucky.

He knew them all.

And yet all he knew was the next mission.

He pocketed the photograph, again with a silent promise, but this time one that told him not to look at it again. It was a distraction.

All that remained was the next mission.

---

He’d never really had the chance to mourn. Not that you needed mourning, he supposed, seeing as you’d lived a full life, one with laughter and love and happiness, as far as he could tell. But he’d never mourned what could have been. What the two of you had lost, together. He’d spent years without the memory of it, after all.

And as soon as he could remember who was in his photograph, he learned his photograph was of a dead person.

Because you were dead. Of course. It had been a lifetime.

As he sat on a tattered sofa in a safehouse that Steve had found for them, he looked at you again. At your photograph. He knew he shouldn’t, knew it probably wasn’t helping. It didn’t stop him.

The blue of your dress didn’t come through in the black and white image, but he could remember it now. A deep blue, a nine o’clock in the evening sky and a fifty foot deep ocean all rolled into one. He closed his eyes and willed the tears away. He could see you looking down on him, calling him silly as you always did and it helped him to keep himself under control.

“I get why you’re doing this,” you said tentatively, hands on his chest, an anchor, a support, “But that doesn’t mean I agree with it.”

“I know, Y/N, you’ve told me many times,” he said, trying not to show just how much it affected him every time you hinted that you wanted him to stay, “But we’ve talked about it now.”

“I know.”

You looked up at his face and reached up slowly, a hand making its way up his chin, over his cheek and into his hair, messing up his cap. Not that you cared.

“You’re gonna be fine without me, doll,” he said, like he really meant it, “And I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You better be,” you said, fiercely, the same fierce protectiveness he’d seen from you before over cats, over Steve, over food. But never over him before. It made him shiver involuntarily, “Oh so help me, James, I will come to the front line and drag your ass back home myself.”

He grinned, pulled you in closer until your face was buried into his neck, his chin resting against your temple.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

He truly meant it. You wiped your tears while he couldn’t see you. You had a bad feeling about this.

The interaction was seared into his mind like his programming had been. And the dress you were wearing. He suddenly wished he had a million more photos just like his own, wished he’d taken one every single day you’d been together. Every single dress you ever wore, every single smile he ever elicited from you. He wanted them immortalised in print.

He was terrified of forgetting even a single one.

Again he pictured you sat beside him, nudging him playfully and telling him to stop worrying about everyone and everything. It was enough for him to tuck the photo away again, to smile at no one in particular and stand up from the sofa, walking over to the table where Steve and Sam were planning their next steps.

He needed to stay in the present now. He could hear you saying it over his shoulder.

---

He hadn’t looked at the photograph in years.

He hadn’t looked at it when he was in Wakanda. He thought about it a few times, but he thought it might just ruin the peaceful life he’d made for himself, or rather, that others had made for him. He kept it, of course, how could he not, but he didn’t look at it. Last time he had, he’d made a silent promise that he wouldn’t, a silent promise to you, a silent promise he intended to keep.

So he had.

This felt different.

He stood in between Nat and Steve, behind him an army of the people he’d been living among for a long time now. A new and improved metal arm on his left. One without memories and pain and death associated with it, instead with gold engravings and a smile at it was attached. And a photograph in his hand, one that he just had to have one last look at before the battle of his life.

“This is the best day of my life,” Bucky said, and you could hear the truth laced within his words, the genuine happiness that hid beneath them. You turned your head so that you were no longer staring at the sea but up at his face, your head planted firmly in his lap.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Mine too,” you said, a cheeky grin spreading across your face and spreading through Bucky’s veins. He leaned down to kiss you, softly, sweetly, before sitting back up again and resuming his gentle stroke of your hair, methodical and soothing. The sounds of the shoreline were vaguely distant but still there, the waves lapping against the sand and returning again. Bucky had laughed when you’d run downstairs in your lilac dress (the one that flared at the waist, reached your ankles and was covered in white spots) that morning and announced you were going to the beach but you had been deadly serious,

He couldn’t deny you anything.

Before he could do anything to stop you, you had sat up, your head leaving his lap as you grinned at him, standing up and holding up a hand to pull him up too. He allowed you to.

“Do you trust me?” you asked teasingly, your hand wrapping around his with a grip so secure he was sure you’d never let him go, sure that he’d never let you.

“Always.”

You pulled him with you as you ran straight towards the sea and he laughed loudly at the suggestion. But you weren’t slowing down. He looked at you as you ran, the smile on your face, the hair whipping around your neck.

He couldn’t deny you anything.

The water had been freezing and your dress had been ruined, he remembered. But he’d bought you a new one. Green with white spots. Square neck. You’d loved it.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve asked him, a hand on his shoulder. Grounding him. Bringing him back to reality. He had one of those sad smiles on his face, as his eyes flicked from Bucky’s own to the photo in his hands. He knew Y/N. Knew how special he was. Bucky smiled. Put the photograph in his top pocket and tapped it twice.

“Not bad, for the end of the world.”

The answer from earlier had his friend’s smile becoming less sad, as he removed his hand from Bucky’s shoulder.

He let out a long and steadying exhale.

It was time.

---

Steve dropped to the ground, the ground where Bucky, his Bucky, his best friend, had just turned to dust. His fingers stuttered through the ash, his face a grimace, the tears stinging his eyes threatening to spill over into harsh sobs at any second. His chest constricting, his whole body shaking.

And then he saw it. Amongst the ash, his fingers brushed over a piece of paper and he knew what it was before he even looked at it. He didn’t even want to look at it.

The first thing he thought about was whether he had found you. Whether the photograph being left behind meant something about Bucky finding the real thing elsewhere. It brought him no comfort.

The sheer force of looking at the photo knocked him from his knees, falling into a sitting position on the ground with a soft thud as he steadied himself. He looked around at the others, saw the piles of ash that surrounded them, the grey and lifeless body of Vision taunting him from a few metres away. His voice came out strained and strangled.

“Oh god.”

---

Your arms tightened around him, your hands clinging to the fabric the covered his back. His own hands were around your waist, so tight that it hurt, hurt, hurt, but you didn’t care. You looked younger than he thought you would. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered. Not now.

“James.”

It was more of a breath than a word, but he didn’t care, just took your face in his hands as he pulled back, thumbs rubbing circles on your cheeks, collecting the tears that spilled onto them.

“Y/N.”

He noticed her wearing a new dress. He committed it to memory instantaneously. It was white. Shorter than her usual ones. Just above the knee. Off the shoulder. She’d clearly updated her style since he’d last seen her.

It had been nearly 100 years, after all.

“You kept that photograph safe, eh?” you joked and he laughed.

“I kept you safe,” he corrected firmly, because it was never just a photograph. Not to him, “I kept you safe.”

[mysunfreckle]

Wait what’s the Claquesous theory? I know who he is but I’ve never heard him mentioned in the context of the Le Cabuc thing before

Oh dear,coming to me for dark theories based on canon material is certainly a bit outof my comfort zone, but I will do my best!

Basically,Hugo himself puts forth the theory that Claquesous, one fourth of the core ofPatron-Minette, and Le Cabuc, the murderer Enjolras executes at the barricade,are actually the same person. It’s never stated with absolute certainty in thebook, it’s just said that the policethink he is, and there are a lot of strange facts about the two characters thatmake it very plausible.

I mostlystay away from canon era, not surprising for someone who likes thePatron-Minette, but I do appreciate this bit of canon compliant intrigue so inthe name of procrastinating my homework, let’s lay out the evidence~

(I usedthe Hapgood translation for this, but I’ve never gotten the hang of the properBrick reference system, sorry.)

When Claquesousis introduced the principle information we get is this:

“No one wassure whether he had a name, Claquesous being a sobriquet; none was sure that hehad a voice, as his stomach spoke more frequently than his voice; no one wassure that he had a face, as he was never seen without his mask. He disappearedas though he had vanished into thin air; when he appeared, it was as though hesprang from the earth.” (Book 7, Ch 3)

So, he is alet’s say eccentric criminal who “governed the third lower floor of Paris,from 1830 to 1835” with his three comrades, helps Thénardier in his endeavours,and has vanished into thin air by the end of the book. I could not find asingle instance in which he actually speaks on the page, Babet and Montparnassedo most of the talking in Patron-Minette, whenever Thénardier sees fit tofinally shut up that is.

But then,we have Le Cabuc, who is introduced in the very chapter title: “Chapter VIII ManyInterrogation Points With Regard To A Certain Le Cabuc Whose Name May Not HaveBeen Le Cabuc”. He is described as “a passer-by who had joined the rabble ledby Enjolras, Combeferre and Courfeyrac”, is dressed like a shabby street porterand is very loud and animated, giving him the look of “a drunken savage”. Hugo thenadds to this description:

“This man, whose name or nickname was LeCabuc, and who was, moreover, an utter stranger to those who pretended to knowhim, was very drunk, or assumed the appearance of being so”.(Book 12, Ch 8)

It is thentold how he gets the other men around him drunk and then takes up the idea toget into a certain house from which they would have a good view of the wholestreet. When the porter of the house denies him access, Le Cabuc shoots him.For the death of this innocent citizen, Enjolras forces him to his knees, ordershim to think or pray, and executes him. He kicks the corpse aside, three men throwit over the barricade into the street, and that is the end of him. 

BothClaquesous and Le Cabuc therefore, both have questionable names and even morequestionable conduct. It’s not up to us to make the connection between the twothough, Hugo does that himself, he ends the chapter with it:

“Let us sayat once that later on, after the action, when the bodies were taken to themorgue and searched, a police agent’s card was found on Le Cabuc. (…) We willadd, that if we are to believe a tradition of the police, which is strange butprobably well founded, Le Cabuc was Claquesous. The fact is, that dating fromthe death of Le Cabuc, there was no longer any question of Claquesous.Claquesous had nowhere left any trace of his disappearance; he would seem tohave amalgamated himself with the invisible. His life had been all shadows, hisend was night.”

After thisLe Cabuc is never mentioned again and Claquesous merely named as “having disappeared”in a summing up of all Patron-Minette’s associates.

Now, on tothe speculations! Why did Le Cabuc act the way he did and, more importantly forthis theory, why would Claquesous actlike that? It’s possible that Le Cabuc was just a rowdy, drunk, misguidedperson, but the police card on his body seems to imply something else.

After executingLe Cabuc, Enjolras proclaims that he has done this terrible thing because hehad to. He explains: “Assassination is even more of a crime here than elsewhere; we are underthe eyes of the Revolution, we are the priests of the Republic, we are thevictims of duty, and must not be possible to slander our combat.” If they areto fight for freedom they cannot be seen wilfully harming those they arefighting for.

Ifsomeone wanted to cause trouble among the revolutionaries, to turn the surroundingpublic against them perhaps, to stir them up into a chaotic riot instead of anorganised movement, they might well plant someone like Le Cabuc in their midst.And someone like Claquesous might very well take up an appearance like Le Cabuc’sto infiltrate a group like theirs.

Whywould Claquesous do this? Well…

“Thanks totheir ramifications, and to the network underlying their relations, Babet,Gueulemer, Claquesous, and Montparnasse were charged with the general enterpriseof the ambushes of the department of the Seine. The inventors of ideas of thatnature, men with nocturnal imaginations, applied to them to have their ideasexecuted.” (Book 7, Ch 4)

Now, this couldof course refer to other criminals, but…it’s just as likely that these “menwith nocturnal imaginations” are people in high places who want don’t want to gettheir hands dirty, but aren’t above ordering a little forced disappearance herand there. Something that becomes rather more tangible when Claquesous simply vanishes after Javet manages toarrest him:

“[O]ne ofthe principal prisoners, Claquesous, had been lost. It was not known how thishad been effected, the police agents and the sergeants ‘could not understand itat all.’ He had converted himself into vapor, he had slipped through thehandcuffs, he had trickled through the crevices of the carriage, the fiacre wascracked, and he had fled; all that they were able to say was, that on arrivingat the prison, there was no Claquesous. Either the fairies or the police hadhad a hand in it. Had Claquesous melted into the shadows like a snow-flake inwater? Had there been unavowed connivance of the police agents? Did this manbelong to the double enigma of order and disorder? Was he concentric withinfraction and repression? Had this sphinx his fore paws in crime and his hindpaws in authority? Javert did not accept such comminations, and would have bristledup against such compromises; but his squad included other inspectors besideshimself, who were more initiated than he, perhaps, although they were hissubordinates in the secrets of the Prefecture, and Claquesous had been such avillain that he might make a very good agent. It is an excellent thing forruffianism and an admirable thing for the police to be on such intimatejuggling terms with the night. These double-edged rascals do exist. Howeverthat may be, Claquesous had gone astray and was not found again.” (Book 2, Ch 2)

…ouch. (DidI need to use that entire quote in full? Not at all. But it’s my favourite, soof course I did.)

Ipersonally choose to see Le Cabuc as one of Claquesous’ personas, not as his ‘trueidentity’, but either way would work. Linked to all this, is also the possibilitythat Claquesous actually hides his face from his associates because he is infact a police informant, habitually ratting out his friends. But it seems morelikely to me that the whole of Patron-Minette will work for whomever offersthem enough to make it worth their while, and the fact that none of them haveever been caught has a little less to do with their own cleverness and morewith the fact that there are enough influential people around who do not want them to be caught.

Or, ofcourse, Claquesous really is connected to the fair folk. Which is a far morecharming notion and whenever I don’t want to be depressed about the mutualexploitation of political violence, that’s the one I’ll go with.

[apparitionism]

Secret

Happy holidays, @mfangeleeta !! My friend, it is an absolute honor and pleasure to present you with a story—in fact, two stories. You asked for Bering & Wells’s first Christmas together, so your gift starts with a sort of generic-AU version of that. I also have an actual-Warehouse rendering of a first Bering-&-Wells Christmas, which will come next (I’ll put up the first part of that tomorrow or the day after). This AU was going to be a complicated piece, with a lot of moving parts and a ton of characters, but I changed my mind: here’s a quieter, simpler thing. To the best of my recollection, we haven’t, in the years of this B&W Secret Santa gift exchange, had many (any?) pieces that were actually about a Secret Santa gift exchange. (Have we?) It’s basically a clichéd mess, and I know it and apologize for it; I shaped to the extent that I could, but time ran out. Anyway, sssshhh. If you listen close, you might hear a couple of voices speaking low on a silent night.

Secret

“You didn’t come to the party.” The soft words fit the vast, cubicled space, now that the sonic sea of voices and technology had receded for the night and left the floor in silence; now that the overhead lights were out, now that the walls of windows were dark, now that the only illumination, seemingly in the entire world, was the small incandescent defiance of the desk lamp of the person who heard the words, felt their softness, and was thus not startled by them.

“What are you doing here?” asked that person. Myka Bering had expected to see no one tonight, the company’s Christmas-party night, not when the Christmas-party night was the Friday before Christmas: no one, and certainly not this vision of a woman who on a normal workday seemed to have descended from some higher plane to serve as an aspirational sight for the masses. Tonight, dressed for a Christmas party thrown by a prosperous insurance company in the toniest of downtown-hotel ballrooms? Surely the assembled would have voted by acclamation to keep her there.

“I’m asking you that same question,” said the vision.

“I didn’t want to... see.” But Myka said this with a wince, which did not go unnoticed.

“See what?”

“Any of it,” Myka now said offhand, trying to recover. “It’s really not my—”

“See. What.” It was a muted, though not diluted, version of her “I refuse to waste my time in a pointless meeting” voice, and Myka knew she had no choice but to give a plausible answer.

***

When Myka had received the “Secret Santa” email from HR...

This is an opportunity, had been her first, immediate thought.

She then revised that first thought with a significant insertion: This is NOT an opportunity. Because an opportunity would never take the form of an email that began, “Hi Myka! In this year’s Warehouse Mutual Insurance Holiday Gift Exchange, you’re the Secret Santa for...”

And there could be no opportunity whatsoever in that sentence ending with the name “Helena Wells.”

Not the opportunity she wanted it to be.

Because where had her mind gone, in that first immediacy? To roses, of rare and foreign colors and scents; to spices, to perfumes, to potions; to silks and stones; to gilding amalgams, to meteoric alloys, to all the richest and finest of ways there might be to say “look at all that I would offer you.”

Certainly twenty-five dollars was not enough to buy gold and frankincense, but certainly twenty-five dollars was enough to buy something stupidly, pointlessly revealing.

That did not have to happen, of course; she could give a generic gift. But equally, she didn’t want to have to say “Yes, that boring thing, that’s from me.” Better to be no one than to be part of the vast run of cases. So she swapped with Giselle in Claims, who, Myka had heard—heard, and felt a pain in her heart upon hearing—was interested in Helena. It wasn’t only Giselle; so many people seemed to be bold enough to show visible, vocal interest... but while Myka was not shy, not exactly, she was not prepared to show such visible, vocal interest. In this, too, better to be no one than to be part of the vast run of swooning, wanting cases.

In the swap, she got someone she’d never met, never even heard of, so she went to an office supply store, stood in front of its “Secret Santa ideas” display, and gathered vaguely disparate items, none of which she herself would have been offended to receive, to total twenty-five dollars. (Actual total: twenty-eight dollars and thirty-three cents. She tried to feel magnanimous rather than mournful.) She put them into a gift bag, affixed red and green ribbon to its handles, and left it with the gift-exchange committee chair in HR, to be given to the appropriate person at the party. “Everyone should give appropriately,” that first email had said, and she persuaded herself that this was the way to ensure that outcome.

****

You come to a new place for a new job; you try to find space for yourself in this new place, which affords a new start. “You need a new start, Myka,” a friend of long standing had told you, and you believed him and found one: a new place, a new start, a new job. New people. But there is one new person in particular at the new job. Weeks you stare at her... weeks you try not to stare at her. There is no such thing, you tell yourself, as love at first sight. If there were, you would have fallen into it before. And you haven’t before, so you haven’t now. You haven’t come to this new place to fall in love, at first or any other ordinal sight.

You keep trying not to stare.

You don’t even know her name, not for the longest time, but once you hear it and know that it is hers, you hear it constantly; everyone all at once seem to take up talking about her. Your ears, your eyes: this is not what you came here for, to look at Helena Wells, to listen for “Helena Wells.”

The company, however, doesn’t care what you think you came here for. You’re assigned to work on a project with her, and you panic, because what about the staring? Fortunately, the need to do business breaks the looking-spell somewhat, but your enchantment only deepens. The emails and meetings, just the two of you, grow longer and longer. She works in loss control; you are in risk management. You are not managing your own risk, not at all; you see that the cliff you have already unknowingly, unintentionally, jumped from is well above you. When will you hit the ground and wake up?

After the project completes itself, whenever you pass each other in the hallway, whenever each of you says that simple “hi,” you—this you that is some part of a larger thing you don’t dare think of as “us”—can’t stop smiling.

You buy her dinner, the first time, because at the end of a workday you find her standing in the lobby, despondent at whatever her phone’s screen is telling her, and you want to banish the misery from her face but also pocket it, because it is precious, a vulnerability she does not often show.

Over that meal and then others, you laugh and you linger.

When you have reason to say her name to other people (because you are now one of those who has taken up talking about her), you become conscious that the speaking of a name is a bringing-to-presence. “Helena,” you say, the name mattering in your mouth, and your secret knowledge of the disjuncture between the presence that utterance conjures for you and the presence it delivers to others thrills you.

Her material presence literally destabilizes you, over and over again, but you hold fast to one particular near-fall: it is the first time you let yourself know, without question, what you want. You are walking beside her, and you are attending intently to her voice as it speaks about reinsurance contracts. You stop, mentally, to remind yourself that you are meant to be concentrating on the contracts, not on her voice as it speaks about them, and the stop makes you stumble. You recover yourself fast, but not fast enough to prevent her planting herself in front of you and clasping your arms. Deep brown concern gazes up at you as a deep brown hum resolves into the words “Are you all right?” You nod, but you imagine bringing your lips to hers in answer to that question—revealing that ever since your first sight of her, the answer has been “no.”

****

Myka held these scenes they had played together, these episodes, very close—precious contents in a precious box. Having that cache, keeping it secret: that was special; in itself, it allowed Myka to distinguish herself from that vast run of cases. Keeping it safe, too: this risk Myka tried to manage with great care. Going to the party, seeing what she was likely to have seen, would have put it all in peril, so here she had sat instead.

But here Helena now stood, with her gowned body and her “see what” demand, and Myka saw that her carefully plotted risk avoidance had produced its exact opposite: certain disaster. She had nothing plausible to say, in response to that demand, save the truth, so she said a prayer, possibly of farewell, for the box and all it contained. “See you open a gift from someone else,” she admitted.

Helena said nothing at first, and Myka was tempted to try to retract her words, say they were a feeble joke, fall back on explaining that she was antisocial, needed to work, liked the peace and quiet. She got so far as opening her mouth and inhaling before Helena said, slowly, “Interesting that that would be your reason. Particularly since you should not have had to see that. Given, as it was told to me, that you were originally assigned to be my Secret Santa.”

“Who told you that?”

“Giselle,” Helena said. She lifted her chin, and it felt to Myka like a “what are you going to say to that” challenge.

All Myka could manage was “What? Why would she—”

“She was explaining to me how eagerly she had taken you up on your offer to let her be the one to buy me a gift instead. I believe she meant her industry and enthusiasm in pursuing my affections to be persuasive.”

“Her industry and enthusiasm,” Myka echoed. Surely that would win the day—but then why was Helena here? And why did she look so... dismayed? Or was that simple annoyance? Either way, why?

Her next utterance gave Myka no answers: “My question to you is, why would you do that to me?”

“Why would I—what?”

“And after what I’ve done for you.” This with a shake of the head, a shake of disappointment that Myka had seen directed at others and had hoped never to be subjected to.

“What you—what?”

“Do you imagine I wanted to watch you open a gift from someone else?”—and Myka took a breath to say another “what,” but Helena left her no room for it—“I could have stayed home, but I chose to engage in a more difficult means of forestalling that sad sight: I exerted a great deal of pressure on the assigning committee in HR to reveal to me who’d got you. I then proposed a swap to that person, but given my own... enthusiasm, the deal required some sweetening. I’ll have you know that as of January the first, I will be parking in a lesser space.”

All Myka could find to say was, “You love your parking space.” This was true. Corporate business culture subsisted on trivia, and everyone, even Helena, clung to these pointless markers. She’d told Myka the story of how she had, over two years, worked her way, via retirements and transfers and strategic barters, plus her own promotions, into being assigned precisely the spot she wanted.

“I did love my parking space,” Helena said. “I suspect Giselle didn’t drive so hard a bargain with you. In fact I suspect she didn’t drive a bargain at all. Am I worth so little to you?”

“You know that’s wrong,” Myka said. “I didn’t want to.”

“To what?”

“But I thought I had to.”

“I don’t need to ask ‘to what’ again. And I don’t need to ask why. I myself did think we were approaching a point. A decision point, if you will.”

Myka, perversely, tried to forestall it. If they could stay suspended in this Friday night... those scenes in the box, what were they worth now? “I never got what I wanted for Christmas,” she said. “I stopped believing in Santa when I was four.”

“Believe what you want to believe, but I have a gift for you,” Helena said. She reached into her purse and removed a small package. “From your Santa Claus, who is of course no secret now.” She looked at the wrapped package in her hands. Looked again at Myka. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“You have?”

“This should also be no secret.” She leaned down, and this is not happening, Myka thought, but then it was: a kiss of a softness that matched their voices, that warmed to the light, that nestled into the pillowed hollow of Myka’s heart where she safed her most fragile of yearnings. If she falls in love with you, she kept there, because it was unimaginable.

Myka would have said, out loud, that this kiss, too, was unimaginable. But that was not true, for she had imagined it. Not correctly... not in its fullness... she felt Helena’s lips leave hers, and she opened her eyes.

Helena’s eyes were still closed; her mouth formed a smile. Then she opened her own eyes and said, “You look surprised.”

“I am.” She had wished it would feel right, this kiss, but she hadn’t believed it would.

“So am I. This was so simple.” Another kiss, this one more firm. And even more right. “I’d originally thought to make my way to this point by impressing you with my cleverness. I would engineer some complicated giving of an elaborate series of presents, or concoct a plot with a last-minute revelation, or contrive a dash through the airport. But then I pared it down to what seemed to be the basics: you, me, a gift. In front of everyone we work with, which for some reason I was convinced was the only way I would not lose my nerve.”

The idea of Helena losing her nerve about anything was absurd—but she did look completely serious, so instead Myka focused on a different absurdity: “A dash through the airport?”

Helena nodded, sheepish but with a sly glint. “Plus a missed flight.”

“Would that make you happy? We can go to the airport right now and dash through it. We’ll miss every flight.”

“We’ve known each other some months.” Helena was smiling now.

“We have.”

“And those months have led me to believe that you would do that: you would take me to the airport and enact some silly play. If I wanted you to.” Her voice grew softer and softer, as did her smile.

Myka would have done that, that or anything else Helena wanted her to do, starting from the first-sight moment she began to try not to stare. “I would,” she said, just in case Helena had any doubt.

“Open your gift.”

“I thought I had.”

“The one in paper.”

“I don’t have anything for you.”

Helena kissed her for a third time. “Liar.”

Myka took the package from her, pulled at the paper, got to a cardboard box, opened that, and found... another box. This one was wooden, decorated with a complicated inlay-like patterned veneer. “This is beautiful,” Myka said.

“Isn’t it?” Helena agreed. “It’s from Japan.”

Myka said, “You bought me a beautiful box from Japan.” All the richest and finest of ways... she turned it in her hands. “Does it open?”

“It does. But it’s a puzzle. A beautiful puzzle, just like you.”

A puzzle. Myka looked at the box more closely, turned it with greater care, put a bit of pressure on its surfaces. A puzzle. She felt a slight give: the complicated nature of the veneer hid seams, along which segments of the sides might slide. A push here, a slide there... no, not there. She had to reverse everything she’d done and start again, and she glanced up at Helena, saw that she was looking with avidity at the box in Myka’s hands—or even, thrillingly, at Myka’s hands themselves?—her eyes brighter than usual, like stars in a hurry.

Myka set back to her task with determination: show her what these hands could do. A slide here, a push there... again, not there, but this side, here. Myka was so absorbed that now Helena’s voice, still so quiet, did startle her: “You were meant to solve the puzzle,” Helena said. “In front of everyone. Find its secret. I knew you would,” she finished, as Myka slid the tiny box’s cover open.

“Its secret?” Inside, in a nest of dark velvet, lay a small silvery piece of metal... meteoric alloys... muted in its shine, like a worn quarter. Most saliently, however, it was heart-shaped. Myka set it flat in her right hand and held it under the glow of her lamp. It warmed, there between her palm and the light.

“My heart,” Helena said.

Myka looked up at her, now with a bit of sly of her own. “Doesn’t that mean you’re the beautiful puzzle?”

“Metaphors work in mysterious ways.”

Myka very nearly asked, “How did you know it should be a box,” but Helena was right: mysterious. So instead, she said, “I can’t believe this cost only twenty-five dollars.”

Helena said, with an affected formality, “I have a receipt from the antique store where it was purchased to prove that that is what I paid for it.” Then the starch collapsed into mischief: “If I overpaid tremendously for another item listed on that receipt, that’s my own foolishness, isn’t it?”

“But why did you do that?” Myka asked. “Why did you think you needed to?”

This got her an otherwise familiar response: a small head-toss of exasperation. “I gave up on scenarios of complication, but why would I give up on impressing you? I suppose I wanted you to be so overwhelmed by this gift in its entirety—beauty, metaphor, worth—that you would fall into my arms. Unrealistic, as a scenario, but I couldn’t see how else to cause you to fall into my arms.”

“You could’ve just said ‘fall into my arms.’ You could’ve just said that.” Swooning, wanting.

“I thought I was saying that all along. Not aloud, but I thought I was.”

“I couldn’t hear it.”

“What do you hear now?”

What did she hear now? Myka listened, waited. “Two people breathing at each other,” she finally said. And because there was no reason not to, she added, “And the HVAC system.” Helena laughed, a little trail-off peal, and Myka said, to that, “Now I hear a beautiful sound.”

“If you were anyone else,” Helena said, “I would try to persuade you to come back to the party. With me. With me.”

A dash through an airport; a party. Myka said, “If you were anyone else, I wouldn’t be persuaded.”

****

You, who had wanted to be special or nothing, find yourself doubly special: first, you are the only one in the tony downtown ballroom not dressed for a party, but second—and vastly more important—your arm is around her gowned body the entire time, and “I persuaded her to come,” she keeps saying, with evident pride. “I went and found her and persuaded her.” Many, many people, upon seeing your arm around her, claim to have seen this coming. To them, she says, “She resisted me. Can you imagine?” and no one can imagine that, least of all you, and you murmur “I didn’t though” into her ear.

The looking-spell has settled on you again; you stare at her profile, her cheekbone, her neck.

Your hand touches the heart-coin, warm in your pocket.

She turns and meets your eyes.

Infinitely special.

END

[velvetlakeside]

Stage Name: SJ Birth Name: Park Soo Jin Position: Rapper, Face Birthday: December 10th, 1990 Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius Birth Place: Seoul, South Korea Height: 176 cm Weight: 150 lbs Blood Type: O Instagram: sjofbb Twitter: sjofbb Me2day: sjofbb — SJ was born in Seoul, South Korea — She is an only child but considers the other members of BigBang as her brothers — Her nickname is Kitten and was given to her by Top shortly after the band’s debut — SJ and Seungri were the last two members to be added to BigBang. — Initially, SJ only got along with Seungri. The other boys basically ignored her existence for the first few months after the band was formed — Her favorite color is blue and her favorite food is anything Taeyang is willing to cook for her — She is very good friends with Onew (SHINee), Siwon (Super Junior), Amber (f(x)), and Min Kyunghoon (Buzz). — SJ works as an MC and has hosted several shows. She also works as a model in her spare time and has starred in a handful of dramas. — YG has not released her mixtape that was reportedly completed around the same time as GD’s second album, but other members often bring it up in interviews — Her favorite BigBang song is Fantastic Baby — She and Seungri lived together for a while but eventually split when netizens accused them of secretly dating. She now lives two minutes away from Top. — SJ has three dogs: Haru, Jae, and most recently Ssamja. Ssamja was supposed to be named after Min Kyunghoon when SJ lost a bet to him, but she opted for his nickname rather than his actual name. — SJ’s ideal type: “The older I get the more I discover what I want is actually an amalgamation of my brothers. I want someone as funny as Top, as kind hearted as Daesung, as loyal as Taeyang, as passionate as GD, and as hardworking as Seungri. Appearance doesn’t matter so much as long as they have good morals and a good work ethic.”

Okay, so, here’s my try at a sixth member of bigbang au. Up top is obviously some basic info about her and below the cut is a Seungri/SJ story for your reading pleasure. For now, nothing will be in chronological order; however, I’ll add dates where I can.

2018

“What will you do while we’re gone?”

SJ looks up from her now empty glass of wine only to see Seungri’s face full of earnest curiosity. It’ll be the first time in over ten years they’ve been apart for longer than two weeks. None of them are really ready for it, but they all know it needs to be done. Her boys need to be men now. They need to serve their country while SJ…

“Wait for you to come back.”

Seungri sticks out his lower lip at her response and she pats his cheek. “You won’t really do that. Will you?”

“Don’t be silly.” SJ bites at the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know. It’s different, ya know? We’ve all had our little solo endeavors before, but at the end of the day we all came back together. We’ve always had each other to fall back on.”

“Now it’s just you.”

“Now it’s just me.”

Seungri finishes off his own glass of wine before lapsing into a comfortable silence with his best friend. She has a point. They’ve always had each other when things got rough or unsteady. Now they’ve drifted one by one to a point in life that will either be a springboard for a new chapter or the end of everything. It’s bittersweet. It’s terrifying. Sometimes Seungri is so scared of what’s to come he has to physically stop himself from hiding away at SJ’s apartment for the rest of his life. He doesn’t want to leave her or the comfort of their relationship because- while he knows he’s good at meeting people and making new friends- he wouldn’t be half the man he is without SJ’s constant, unwavering belief. Same with his hyungs. They made him, shaped him, and now they’ve left him.

“This isn’t permanent,” SJ slips her hand in his and leans her head on his shoulder. “Things will change but… it’s all for the best.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Most of the time. Sometimes I worry though.”

“What about?” Seungri lets his cheek rest against the top of SJ’s head as he listens to her deep breathing, ready to jump at the slightest sound that could mean distress.

“The thought of you as a soldier is terrifying. The thought of Daesung as a soldier is terrifying. Of course, I worry over Jiyong as well.” She sighs briefly before continuing. “And then… there’s Seunghyun and Youngbae.”

“What about them?”

“I have no doubts the rest of you will be ready to pick up where we left off, but those two… I’m just not sure. Youngbae is married now. Don’t you think he’ll want time to just be a husband for a while? Maybe have children? Then there’s Seunghyun. After everything that’s happened who says he wants to come back?”

“He says.” Seungri doesn’t want to say he’s had those exact same fears, so he does what he does best when emotions get high: jokes. “Would you like to go see him now? He’s been off work for a while. If you put on a nice skirt and pick a good bottle of wine I’m sure we could convince him to stay in the band-“ He yelps when your fist makes contact with his chest.

“This is why I never get touchy feely with you.”

“Well, according to tabloids you like to get touchy feely with all of us.”

SJ sits up, back completely straight. “I can’t believe those rumors are still out there. Why hasn’t YG done anything? Since 2006 I’ve been called the worst things imaginable! Why hasn’t legal action been taken?”

Seungri feels bad. He knows why action hasn’t been taken just as well as she does. Just as well as the fans do. They aren’t the gold children of YG. They aren’t a G Dragon or a Taeyang. They’re just SJ and Seungri and that’s all they’ll ever be. For a lot of fans that’s more than enough. They like to show off their hardworking maknae line (which includes Daesung who’s also not a G Dragon or a Taeyang in Korea at least) to the rest of the world. They dote and coddle just like the older members dote and coddle. Most of the time it’s enough to be loved only by the fans and older members, but a bit more love from the company would be nice as well. Seungri still gets tears eyed over the surprise birthday party from YG even though it happened months ago, that’s how rare and hard to come by the love is.

Suddenly, Seungri’s struck by a memory. His first birthday after debuting. SJ threw him a surprise party, going so far as to personally invite and bring his family. He cried harder than he ever had in the past, harder than he ever would in the future. From day one SJ was showering Seungri with all the love and affection in the world and expected nothing back. And she’s still doing that. Her brothers are her world.

No wonder she’s so distraught about enlistment.

“I leave tomorrow,” Seungri whispers, pulling SJ back to rest against his chest. “I don’t want to spend tonight sad. Oh, I know! Let’s rewatch Goblin!”

“Seunghyun,” SJ slips out of his arms in order to face him properly. “Don’t you want to go out and have a good time? You leave tomorrow.” There’s a sadness to her voice. A regret. Like she feels like she’s holding him back from something. “Call a bunch of your friends and go party. Don’t spend your last night comforting me.”

“But that’s how I want to spend my last night. I love you and I’d rather be here with you. It’s… calming. I want to be with my family.”

“What’s left of it,” SJ mutters.

“Hey, don’t talk like that. Will it be like it was before? No. You’d be an idiot to think it was.” Seungri takes SJ’s hands in his own. He notices how cold her fingers are and presses his lips together in a firm line. “We’ll still have each other, though. No matter what. I promise.”

SJ’s grin reminds Seungri of a fox when she says, “you’re such a good dongsaeng.”

“No! Don’t start that! You’re only two days older than me!”

“Still older. Now, put on a drama. I need a good cry.”

Seungri mutters under his breath as he does what SJ said. “You’re so bossy. Are your hands broke? Can you not use a remote?” He huffs and pouts the entire time he searches for a show. Preferably an old favorite. Maybe… Goblin? Seungri just really wants to watch Goblin.

“I can hear you over there.” SJ smacks him squarely on the back of the head before taking the remote. “How does Goblin sound?”

Seungri claps his hands together. “Please, noona?”

“Eww, stop. Here, watch the damn show and shut up. You’re annoying.”

Halfway through their binge watch something occurs to Seungri.

“Hey, Soojin, you won’t break into my house while I’m gone and sleep in my bed while wearing my clothes will you?”

“What the- why would I do that, you psycho?”

“Because you miss me. Obviously.”

“If I miss you that bad I’ll just watch some YouTube videos to remind myself how awful you are. In fact, your face is getting on my nerves already.” 

“Whatever.” Seungri turns his attention back to the show. A few minutes pass before SJ gasps in his ear. “What now?”

“Does it hurt?” She asks.

“What?”

“Being so ugly.” Her laugh is loud and Seungri knows she thinks she’s made the funniest joke in the world just now. He lets her laugh, content with these last few hours of normalcy.

[voidsettle]

Summer Junction: Small Balkans

                                                                                                       May-June 2018

Chasing the last-August experience of a region-wide country run, we started planning for our next trip, something southern this time. We wanted some history from the old towns, scorching heat of the sun over bright sea, and long vistas of the mountain ranges. Montenegro became the basis for the plan. But why settle for one if you can have more? We were going wild.

Sveti Stefan, Budva, Montenegro

Full 2 weeks were spent in careful preparations. We were throwing in Hungary and Serbia before and Bosnia and Croatia in between. The original plan grew from a tour around one country to five, some of them added (almost) against our wills. We had to fly through Budapest - our airlines had rather cheap tickets to the destination city. From there, it was hit-and-miss travel by every kind of transport you'd imagine. Bus? Plenty. Car? Repeat the hitchhiking experience. Train? Make it two.

First Stop: Budapest, Hungary

Fisherman's Bastion over Danube, Budapest, Hungary

Arriving at Budapest, we had several hours - it was but a short stop before the night train to Serbia.

Whenever I'm in Budapest, there are three things I'm looking forward to: enjoy the vista from the Fisherman's Bastion, visit Szechenyi Thermal Baths and have a taste of Hungarian Tokay.

Last time when I was in Hungary, I got lost somewhere in Pest and ended up deciphering another tourist's instructions in German (which was mutually poor but delivered fun experience nonetheless). This time I finally got to creating a mind map of major sites and attractions. No that I can definitely find Budapest Opera if left at the central train station, but a can guess the general direction at the very least.

Fun at Fisherman's Bastion

Besides, the good thing about traveling on your own (without a guide and a group of whiny tourists tagging along) is that you achieve the level of liberating enlightenment never to be experienced in your own country. It usually takes several days for this skill to kick in. I was all the more surprised as this expanding feeling bubbled in my chest as I descended into Budapest subway.

While in Budapest, you absolutely must visit one of the thermal baths, the relaxing and soothing experience best after a long walk around the city.

I personally prefer the ones in Szechenyi Park because of the sheer scope and variety - inside the pavilions, under the open sky, cooling, warm, hot - whatever you heart desires. Just visiting one by one will take around 2 hours, so better come with some spare time on your hands.

I must say, the Hungarian capital was truly underestimated by me. I definitely plan on going back and add a couple more to-dos to my usual itinerary: visit the Opera, roam through the halls of National Gallery, have a slow stroll on Margaret Island, and taste much more local delicacies.

What to see:

Fisherman's Bastion

Matthias Church

Gellert Hill and the Citadella

Hungarian National Gallery at Buda Castle

Hungarian Parliament

Szechenyi Chain Bridge and its tongueless lions

Margit hid (Margaret Bridge)

Ruins of the Fransciscan church on Margaret Island

Szechenyi Thermal Bath

What to eat:

goulash (thick paprika soup/stew)

libamaj (goose liver)

fried duck

chicken paprikas with dumplings

halaszle (fish soup with paprika and tomato sauce)

langos (basically fast food)

kremes (cream cake)

somloi galuska (biscuit with custard)

chestnut puree

kurtoskalacs (vanilla and citrus pastry)

Tokay wine

palinka (fruit brandy)

Second Stop: Beograd, Serbia

View on the junction of Sava and Danube from Belgrade Fortress, Beograd, Serbia

First things first, a cry of pain to Serbian trains: they are immensely, unbelievably hideous. But such fun!

Truly, after Ukrainian railroads I believed I've seen it all - oh how thoroughly mistaken I was! The compartments are shabby and worn out, nearly everything is torn or broken, just on this side of usability, the wall facing the passageway is made of plexiglass delivering a (not so) beautiful view of your sleeping face to anyone happening to pass by. And the cherry on the top: they have four (which is standard for Ukraine and, I believe, most of Eastern European countries) and six (?!) seat compartments. Preordering the tickets, we were so curious that we couldn't miss the opportunity to travel in a six seat one (aside from it being slightly cheaper).

Three floors of the six-seat compartment on a Serbian train from Budapest

What it meant on practice was literally three floors. The first of which basically was a seat standing on the floor (when sitting, my knees were before my eyes), and the last had only around half a meter to the ceiling. Basically no storage place. It was truly scary sleeping both on and underneath these seats.

I keep wondering if we got lucky that the two middle seats were (obviously) non-functional, so we only had two other poor unfortunate souls to share this sorry excuse of a compartment. On the other hand, the experience was so bizarre and unique that I couldn't keep myself from laughing hysterically. Not sure any of my companions comprehended my mirth.

On the brighter note, Beograd is one of those cities that don't care the least for you as a tourist. One day is pretty much enough to see everything there is to see, the major attraction being, of course, the Belgrade Fortress with its rich history protecting the city (thus the clash of architectural styles), vast park area below leading your eye to the joint of Danube and Sava rivers, and quaint winding passages that lead to different courts, half-hidden castles and fortifications.

Beograd Fortress

Lost somewhere in its area, I caught this wonderfully serene moment of pre-summer heat hammering down the irregular stone-paved trails, deafening crickets and the dizzying smell of grasses and red poppies (that are all over the place, magical beyond belief).

The city shows itself. Walking from the fortress down Knez Mihailova Street, you find yourself at the National Museum. A little to the South, ruins left after the NATO bombing stay proud in the middle of the bustling city. And then there's the Cathedral of Saint Sava, quite the monumental construction to mark the grand aspirations of Serbian nation. It is one of the largest churches in the world, and one that is still being built, starting in 1935. That tells you something about the nation.

If you don't have much time, take the round tram #2 to see all the major sites in city center. You'll miss something, for sure, but it's a good way to start your acquaintance.

And don't forget to get yourself familiar with the people - they're quite the friendly type. My friend's shoe tore at the most inopportune moment, and we were looking for something that'd help keep it together. Asking in one of the shops where we could buy glue, the owner not only told us how to get to the closest place but he personally walked us there. At yet another instance, a woman we asked directions from spent quite some time (and probably missed her bus) to make sure we know how to get to the Cathedral of Saint Sava. Using Serbian and gestures; pure incomprehensible joy.

What to see:

Beograd Fortress

Knez Mihailova Street and the pedestrian area

Ruins of Yugoslav General Staff from 1999 NATO bombing

National Museum (with one if not the largest Impressionist painting collection in Europe)

St Mark's Church

Cathedral of Saint Sava

Church of Saint Alexander of Neva

What to eat:

cevapi/cevapcici (regional delicacy, variations met throughout the Balkans - basically grilled meat in flatbread with chopped onions)

kajmak (cheese)

Karadordeva snicla (meat stuffed with cheese)

sarma (meat rolled in sour cabbage leaves)

musaka (potato and meat casserole)

ajvar (vegetable side dish)

pljeskavica (meat in flatbread)

cvarci (fried pork rinds)

rakia (fruit brandy; do you start noticing patterns yet?)

Third Stop: Underground Train and First Glance at Montenegro

Ruins of Bedem Castle, Niksic, Montenegro

Unlike traditional tourists, we decided to take a whole day off sight-seeing to indulge in traveling at its utmost. Moreover, the whole detour to Serbia was solely for the purpose of catching this train: Beograd, Serbia to Bar, Montenegro. We wanted to get our hands and eyes on mountains as soon as possible - and boy, did we get our fill!

If you get a chance to travel from Belgrade to Montenegro by train, by all means do. You won't regret a moment of it.

Train Beograd, Serbia - Bar, Montenegro

Actually, before the trip, I had my doubts: spending the whole day sitting in train, with nothing but observing natural beauties for over 10 hours; I thought we'd be bored to death by the end of hour 2. I didn't factor in the underground traveling - all in all, after spending the lion's share of the trip counting and noting the time, our route amounted to nearly 200 tunnels and almost hour and a half under ground in Serbia alone.

The longest tunnel is nearly 5 km long. I even counted the speed of underground travel - approximately 15 mph, a lower speed due to the danger of high mountain travel. Curiously, in Montenegro, the speed in tunnels was considerably higher, even though we didn't manage to uncover the reason.

One more thing to note is the considerably higher quality of Montenegrin trains. Compared to that taking us from Budapest to Beograd, this was nearly comfortable. I don't know the reason, but air-con was only available in one carriage (coincidentally, the one we were in), and it wasn't shying away from its function. I was freezing by the end of hour one, and went out in search of something to warm up. In other carriages, people were clustering by the windows, catching air, vistas and smoking.

Smoking right under the sign 'Smoking prohibited'

Thus, I anchored myself in the buffet car (calling it 'restaurant' wouldn't do; they offered no food) with a permanent cup of coffee before me. This was my little yet unforgettable time - the amalgam of beautiful mountain ranges flashing by outside the window, hot coffee and a cozy book that I prudently brought along. Light chatter of the trainmen fought with cigarette smoke in the air, the rattling of the train creating snug and quaint ambiance.

We arrived to Podgorica after sunset. The first glance at Montenegro delivered the unique feeling of living on the roofs - the room we were staying at had an exit right near the red shingles of the neighbor house. While I was having cup of tea before bed, a woman casually strolled on top of the roof nearby to hang the clothes to dry.

Despite the status of the capital and the largest city in Montenegro, Podgorica more often that not creates the feeling of a medium-sized deeply provincial town. Hidden behind the mountainous hills, far from the seaside, the city doesn't enjoy the influx of tourists during summer seasons but also boasts a warmer climate in winter.

And so we followed the route inland, leaving the Adriatic for the last part of our journey. My friend, the terrifyingly stubborn woman, woke me up at 4 in the morning to catch the train to Ostrog.

If I was to advise for Ostrog, I would not. And I'm unlikely to repeat the experience in the future.

Ostrog, Montenegro

That was one of a hellish trip for me - high up in the mountain, hides a Christian Orthodox church shrine. Sounds better than it is in reality. Well. It does look nice, I must admit - the chambers cut out in the sheer rock and all. But I'd argue not worth the effort put in.

Given I'm not religious and a late-sleeper, the way up the mountain trail early in the morning thoroughly irritated me. My mood didn't better at seeing how the 'religious' folks arrived right by the entrance in buses and cars - the hypocritical bastards. I guess we had a fight with my friend, who is much more loyal toward Christian religion and keeping faces. The things we give away.

Besides, the timing was really off - the vistas from high up the mountain are pretty bland early in the morning. The angle of the sun was just not right. The whole place in the morning looks like a refugee camp, with dirty mats and plaids for those willing to spend the chilly night on the monastery grounds. The whole place feels weird.

Camping outside the Ostrog monastery, 900 m above sea level

I was much more cheerful as we were leaving the damned-- I mean, sacred place.

By this time, we were at our basic premise: high in the mountains, half an hour by car to our interim destination, several hours before anything goes the way we need,  and a choice between astonishingly hideous weather and heavy backpacks. There was that trip to Crete where we were basically blind and death from the wind, cursing the moment we decided to go through the mountains on foot.

Our fallback is hitch-hiking fellow travelers to take pity on us and give us a lift. This time, we were picked up by a nice couple from Belarus who brought us right to Niksic. Unexpectedly, the city appeared more interesting than we imagined. I loved the ruins of the local castle. At one moment, the atmosphere was distinctly medieval - the lush green pastures outside the half-preserved walls, the grey grim limestone and delicate, full of color flowerheads taking over the reign in this place. That glimpse of centuries long gone sent a shiver down my spine, and was gone as fast as it appeared.

Bedem castle, Niksic

Today, the castle ruins serve as a concert hall for the local youth - naturally, the larger part of the stone is covered in graffiti, and we've met a couple of sturdy young boys at the foot of the castle, unloading what looked like heavy sound equipment boxes. We had to sacrifice half a bottle of water as an entrance fee.

After an ice-cream and a meditation over the neat and apparently old cemetery, we headed for the bus station to catch a ride to Sarajevo. And, oh, did our adventures only begin!

The same way as I was rumbling about Serbian trains - one should be aware of the buses in Montenegro.

The worst part? Not enough seats. The bus we got was tiny, more like a minivan. We were forced to take our bags inside and to stand the whole way to Bosnia (2.5 hours to the border, same to Sarajevo). I wasn't even trying, sitting down in the aisle as soon as we started off. I got through the first hour alright, catching a casual conversation with a guy from Albania sitting beside me. And then the air stopped circulating (at least where I was sitting), and I don't remember most of the way to the Bosnian border.

I got a seat somewhere along the ride. When we arrived in Sarajevo, I was so tired that it was nearly blissful - I don't think I was the slightest bit worried when we got the message from our to-be host that we couldn't be accommodated at their place that night. Fortunately, we caught decent free Wi-Fi in the middle of the Bosnian capital. Last thing I actually remember from that day is reconciling with my friend over the religious matters and thinking before falling into darkness that nothing could surprise me during this trip anymore.

Descending the Ostrog mountain, panorama dipped in morning haze

What to see:

Sahat kula, Podgorica (clock tower)

Ostrog (take this up at your own risk, and, by gods, do not go on foot, you won't be getting out)

Church of Sv Vasilje, Niksic

Bedem castle, Niksic

What to eat:

prshut (dried meat)

cevapcici

pleskavitsa/roshtil (fried and grilled meat)

sopsky salat (vegetable salad with cheese)

ribla chorba (fish soup)

Negusi cheese

meat burek with yogurt

sarma

Vranac (red wine) and Krstach (white wine)

Niksicko beer

desserts: baklava, tulumba, shampita, vanilice, padobranci

Fourth Stop: Two Pearls of Bosnia and Herzegovina

Breakfast at panorama over Sarajevo, Ispod Grada, Bosnia and Herzegovina

For Sarajevo, I was really hyped even before the trip. The primary reason was, of course, the history of this place. Point of focus: the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie triggering World War I. Time: June 28, 1914, 10 in the morning. Place: Latin Bridge.

As I was fangirling over the epic episode, I should also mention the sheer delight of this city. Sarajevo is filled with the distinctly Turkish ambiance (visiting Istanbul three months prior, I could not ignore the similarities between the two cities) - and yet it's a European capital. It has the tiny street teahouses with old men chatting and smoking their days away, muezzins shouting early in the morning, heavily clothed women and bubbling Eastern bazaars. But it also has eclectic architecture, Mediterranean cobbled streets flowing down the mountainous hills to the Miljacka river, and 15th to 19th century Christian churches. Starting at the White Fortress crowning the city, we roamed down the winding streets to the river bank, than had a real breakfast in the labyrinth of Bascarsija (I'm ashamed I still cannot pronounce that) and then made a stop for coffee at Cajdzinica Dzirlo.

Cajdzinica Dzirlo and it's host

I don't usually give personal opinions of places to eat - they change to fast, and TripAdvisor still does it better. But this one is the number and a renown site of its own - people who know Sarajevo will surely know this little teahouse in the city center. Take all the best things you want during your tea/coffee time, and you get this place.

Splendid drinks with plenty of choice. Ambiance and atmosphere supported by great view. Perfect location near Bascarsija. Most welcoming, authentic and fun host.

You feel as the dearest of friends not a random tourist. This place is a must for a perfect trip. I'd come back to Bosnia just to visit here again.

Besides, it's here that I fell in love with Bosnian coffee (a direct take-away from the Turkish coffee of the Ottoman Empire). I was already fond of the Turkish way to drink black thick coffee. In Bosnia, it is served with a sweet refreshing sherbet (ideally; more commonly, it's a glass of cold water) and a bite of Turkish delight on the side - perfect combination for a hot day.

As a side attraction, I learned how to serve and drink Bosnian coffee. Coffee is made in cezve and served along with another cezve of hot water. First comes adding the water to the coffee and some light stirring. Then coffee creme is carefully gathered from the top and put in the kahve finjani, a tiny porcelain cup in a metal stand. Coffee is poured in afterwards, resulting in a cup of strong, fragrant and relaxing marvel. A sip of coffee is alternated with a gulp of sherbet - I don't think I ever had a better drink.

Combined with the elevated view of the city center and the flocks of pigeons pirouetting around the roofs, this was the experience that ultimately summed up Sarajevo and this whole vacation for me. Yet the Bosnian adventures continued. Walking around the city and gaping at the listed attractions, we were caught in a dreadful storm. It rolled down the mountain tops in low black clouds, rumbling and growling as a wild animal and then pouring down in ice beads the size of a fingernail.

Latin Bridge before the storm ensued

Me and my friend, we have this weird thing we do on the photos, arms and legs spread around in a semblance of a six-pointed star. We do that once per every new city we visit, and, due to the plan, Latin Bridge was the designated site for Sarajevo. We failed spectacularly though, taking cover from the hailstorm on the tram stop for nearly half an hour.

As the storm subsided and turned into regular heavy rain, we plodded through the streets, knee-deep in murky, chalky, coffee-and-milk colored water, ultimately happy. The traffic was hideous, we missed our train, wet head to toe (I literally poured water out of my shoes) - yet I don't remember a better time from this trip. Besides, we caught the best cevapcici near the bus station - and they were prepared lighting-fast, we were shocked at the speed. Sitting in the bus (finally comfortable) taking us to Mostar, we were languidly enjoying the slack feeling of being prepared for anything coming our way.

Mostar old town and Stari most, view from the minaret of Koski Mehmed Pasina mosque

If you get a chance to walk around Mostar at nighttime, enjoy the lightwork, the cozy streets and the coolness of the evenings near Neretva.

Compared to Sarajevo, Mostar is tiny, one of those exclusively tourist destinations that have one major attraction, a couple of minor sites and plenty of ambiance beckoning huge crowds year after year. In a way, it resembles Kazimierz Dolny but with the whimsical quirk of Turkish and Southern European minutiae framing the singular character of the town.

Naturally, the crowds flock on and around the Old bridge, the main site of Mostar. As for me, the narrow painfully cobbled streets (do try to wear shoes with thicker soles) outcharmed the bridge.

Neretva river and panorama of Mostar from Koski Mehmed Pasina mosque's minaret

There is a choice of cozy hidden gems: the Crooked bridge is less famous but instead drowning in greenery. The beach under the Old bridge gives the ability to dip your feet into Neretva (the water is freezing, we nearly got cramps while hastily taking photos - but it's clear and wonderfully refreshing under the blazing sun). The garden of the Koski Mehmed Pasina mosque offers enchantingly picturesque view of the river and small houses under red roofs, transforming the town into an artist's paradise.

It's also possible to get up the minaret of Koski Mehmed Pasina mosque, an activity I believed to be forbidden for non-muezzins, non-Muslims and (even more so) females. The spinning stairs inside the minaret are entertainingly narrow, the balcony on top offers a grand view. And the mere fact of being in a half-prohibited place was enough to pleasantly tickle the nerves and positively reinforce the experience.

What to see in Sarajevo:

Bljela tabija (White fortress)

Zuta tabija (Yellow fortress)

City Hall

Latin Bridge

Bascarsija

Sebilj

Old Orthodox Church

Cathedral of Jesus' Heart

Orthodox Cathedral

Gazi Husrev Bey' Mosque and Bezistan

Taslihan

Lunar clock

Old Synagogue (Museum of the Jews of Bosnia and Herzegovina)

What to see in Mostar:

Stari most (Old bridge)

Crooked bridge

Koski Mehmed Pasina dzamija

Karadoz-begova dzamija

Mostar Peace Bell tower

What to eat:

cevapi

meat under sac (veal or lamb cooked under special lid)

cufte (meatballs)

duvec (vegetable stew)

drasak (pea stew)

ajvar

somun (flatbread)

ustipci (fried dough balls)

Bosnian coffee (and I cannot stress this enough!)

salep

serbe (sherbet)

ajran (salty yogurt drink)

Fifth Step: Dubrovnik, Croatia

The walls of Dubrovnik, Croatia

Dubrovnik is another historic town heavy on tourists, and for a good reason: it's gorgeous. The beauty of city walls unparalleled, Dubrovnik is truly the pearl of the Adriatic sea. The preservation of the old town is worthy of praise, on par with old Tallinn. But that's it - talking about Croatian people, they're quite the unwelcoming type.

To get from Mostar to Dubrovnik, one has to cross the Bosnian-Croatian border tree times. In and out, and in again, and all in just under two hours. And the border guards stamp your passport every time.

The tension of Croatians runs high. From our hostess to most waiters, locals don't seem friendly at all - a surprising fact given the contagious amicability of Bosnians. The prices in Dubrovnik are also considerably higher while coffee is considerably worse (although, to tell the truth, after Bosnia, every cup of coffee I had was so-so at best).

Yet, despite the ranting, Dubrovnik truly is a city with its own character. The first impression was: stairs. The whole Balkan region is like that, built on the hillsides, streets narrow and oftentimes only suited for pedestrians. Dubrovnik is the quintessence of the concept. The hills it is built on are indented with stair-streets, and the road for cars winds and twists, curling in circles through the city like a giant snake. To get from point A to point B, it is easier to clamber up the stairs. Besides, one gets all the best views that way.

Stradun with the belltower of Franciscan monastery, Dubrovnik, Croatia

The old town is enchanting. The narrow streets tightened in the restrains of smooth stone are cool and soothing at sunset. Dark green shutters emphasize the rhythm of the delicate houses. Our early evening in Dubrovnik was drowning in pinkish haze, enchanting and amorous, and the screams of seagulls cluttered up the slowly darkening skies.

The city was built by Venetians, the fact completely obvious to anyone remotely acquainted with architecture. Lacking the tell-tale canals, Dubrovnik instead becomes the labyrinth of tiny streets, a photographer's wet dream at every turn. Stradun, the major street, is full of tourists, day or night, but the back streets are shatteringly quiet as the night falls, almost to the point of feeling haunted.

Panorama of Dubrovnik from city walls: red roofs and Franciscan belltower

The city transforms by the daytime. The blistering sun reflects from the smooth surfaces of the white stone and hits you from all sides: it truly is scorchingly hot. The city walls bring no relief; even the sea breeze is but a short refreshment.

A hat, a bottle of water and a sunscreen are obligatory items on the walls of Dubrovnik anytime from April to October.

But oh the vistas the minute details! Walking around the whole old town and observing how it was built and how it lives from the height of the walls, one is immersed in the history of the relationship between Venetians, this great seapower, and the Balkan region, the focus of their constant conflicts with the Turks. Catching glimpses of inner yards and narrow streets, it is easy to imagine how people lived several centuries ago - as it seems nothing changed much.

The city walls are full of tourists, naturally; a different experience is provided by fort Lovrijenac to the west of the city. Not only it gives a different perspective of Dubrovnik, but is also more spacious as a fortification and is closer to nature (the gorge under its walls lets the imagination run free and create hidden grottoes and caves full of wonders, treasures and sunken ships).

Dubrovnik is surely a city one must visit. If time permits, it's good to have a swim in the Adriatic sea, enjoy the famous Croatian beaches, get up to the fortress on the top of the hill to catch a glimpse of the whole city, and indulge in the rich history. But overstaying your visit is not wise when the much more hospitable Montenegro is just in a couple of hours drive down the coast.

What to see:

old town

St Francis church

Large Onofrio's Fountain

Dominican monastery

crkva Svetog Spasa

Sponza Palace

Orlandov stup

Mala Onofrijeva Fontana

Rector's Palace

St Blaise church

St Ignatius church

Church of the Annunciation

city walls (Bokar, Minceta, Saint John, Buza gate)

Fort Lovrijenac

Lokrum island

Carska tvrdava

What to eat:

raznjici (meat skewers)

zagrebacki odrezak (stuffed veal steak)

lignje (squid)

salata od hobotnice (octopus salad)

crni rizot (cuttlefish risotto)

manestra (soup)

zganci (polenta)

palacinke (crepes)

rozata (creme cake)

Malvazija (dessert wine)

Coming Back to Montenegro

Crkva Svete Klare/Svetog Antuna, Kotor, Montenegro

Planning the trip, it's important to have calm days mixed into the mass of those full of mad activity.

Herceg Novi was our first in the row of more relaxing experiences, a good choice with its lush green streets cascading down the mountain to the Bay of Kotor and the quaint atmosphere of a pre-tourist season. A comparatively young city, it still bears the scars of Venetian dominion, flaunting the old fortress, dark and grey and heavy over the light touristy air of the coast resort.

According to the newly established tradition, I got a day off the trip to catch up with my friend from work who moved with his family to Herceg Novi couple of years back. The rest of the two days were submerged in a daze of slow breakfasts, warm days that tasted like strawberry and tepid waves licking away the tiredness of the feet.

What to see in Herceg Novi:

Citadella

Forte Mare

Crkva Svetog Jeronima

Church of Holy Archangel Michael

Sahat Kula

Kanli Kula

Kotor old town, view of the Fort of St John

For the next day, we picked our speed up, cramming in Kotor and Tivat, and a circle trip around the Bay of Kotor. I still have my regrets about not being able to make a stop in Perast and pay respects to the famous island Our Lady of the Rocks.

The good thing about Kotor is that, although there are many things to see, they are all clustered together (like old well-preserved towns tend to do) - you only need a day to see it all. The only exception is the Fort of St John - probably the main attraction of Kotor, not counting the old town itself.

The streets of Kotor old town

The popularity of this place is primarily based on three things: its age (including historic and militaristic value starting from VI century), the magnificent views it gives from the top over the Bay of Kotor, and its sheer size (it's one of the most significant fortifications of this type in Europe, with 4.5 km long walls).

Kotor may lack the posh sumptuousness of Dubrovnik and the green curvy coziness of Mostar. Yet it is definitely its own thing, a small intimately built town in the clutches of grey stone with sultry air of tiny squares with towering churches and cathedrals, with palaces on every step - Kotor feels like a museum.

What to see in Kotor:

Gurdic Gate (South Gate)

St Triphun's Cathedral

The Drago Palace

The Pima Palace

The Buca Palace

The Palace Bizanti

The Sea Gate with the Tower of Town Guards

The Clock Tower

Duke Palace

Arsenal Building

Crkva Svete Klare/Svetog Antuna

Crkva Sv Nikole

Crkva Sv Luke

Crkva Sv Mihaila

Karampana

The Grgurina Palace

Crkva Sv Ana

Svete Marije Koledate

North Gate

Kotor's Castle of San Giovanni

Church of Our Lady of Health

Fort of St John

Dancing Girl Statue with a view of Old Budva

We spent the night in nearby Tivat - not a historic but resort destination, a city full of luxurious hotels and yachts shimmering off the competing degrees of splendor. As the high season didn't start yet, the city was immersed in a sluggish slumber.

Budva, on the other hand, as the major tourist hub of Montenegro, was boiling and lively, offering a bit of everything. UNESCO-protected old town neighbored fashionable boutiques and giant malls. Quay was full of restaurants offering meats and seafoods of all sorts, narrow streets of old town offered cozier cafes and confectioneries. The beaches, both in-town and on the close-by 'Hawaii' island, beckon with warm transparent water and hidden caverns ready for relaxation or exploration.

The old town of Budva is comparatively small. Half a day is enough to explore it - but the best part about it is the many cozy back streets, dead ends and cubbies that tell their small stories and beckon you to rest and observe the world around.

There is a small street that always has cats pooling under one of the windows - obviously a feeding place. An inner yard of Citadela features a cafe under bright white umbrellas - the perfect combination with old stone, deep blue sea and the green vines to create the true Mediterranean feel. One of the buildings has an old library turned posh restaurant with displayed models of the famous ships.

I've found my favorite cozy little place on the thick wall of the old town near Ricardova Glava beach. A small square surrounded by churches used for concerts and often featuring weddings. A quaint corner of the earth that caught my attention as a street musician was lightly plucking guitar strings for a mellow, sweetly sorrowful melody interweaving into the song of the wind. I go back in my memories to that place - hot crude stone behind my back, sun and seagulls over my head, and fresh warm breeze in my face.

The second day was completely dedicated to exploring the beaches of Budva. The beaches of the tourist zone are sandy; the old town has pebbles.

One of the beaches on Hawaii island, Budva

Seeing Ricardova Glava for the first time, the scene catches one off guard: people are bathing in the clear waters of Adriatic sea right under the rough walls of the church dating back to 840 AD built of darkened pebbles and whitened mortar, battered by time and seawinds. The narrow walk from Ricardova Glava to Mogren beaches conceals a set of hidden gems - from Dancing Girl Statue (one of the symbols of Budva) to the rugged, indented mountain walls on one side and the rocky coast on the other, open-air vista of the sea and Hawaii island, leading to the ambitious route over the rocks and boulders to yet another viewpoint of the city.

And then there's the Hawaii island. Boats take turns to drop off locals and tourists alike on the island full of beaches suited for every taste, with cozy lagoons and hidden grottos.

Best to take the boat that makes a detour to Sveti Stefan - the most luxurious island in the vicinity of Budva, completely covered in medieval red-roofed white-stoned houses and requiring a permit just to get in, people roaming from the coast to the town walls during low tides.

What to see in Budva:

old town

Citadela

Ruins of a Roman church

St Jean Baptist church

Church of the Holy Trinity

Church built in 840 AD

Former St Sara church

Poet plaza

Roman grave

Ricardova Glava (beach)

Dancing Girl Statue

Mogren beaches

Hawaii (island of Sv Nikolai)

Crkva Sv Nikolai (Hawaii)

island of Sveti Stefan

Zipline near Durdevica Tara Bridge, Montenegro

Our last day was decided beforehand.

Everyone going to Montenegro advises to take a tour of Tara canyons. True, the nature is absolutely worth seeing - although I'd prefer taking my time at certain places not rushing as the guided tours do.

I don't know if it's typical of this mountainous region, but that day was rainy, getting us wet from time to time. Durmitor actually got me soaked through to my bones - it's usually chilly here, and the rain made its contribution. But the nature is breathtaking - the dark, nearly black pines, the incredible ravines of rugged sharp stones and brash winds, the sweeping rivers of boiling, madly foaming water, the weak bushes clinging to the tiniest cracks and crevices, and gradually fading off to give way to the bare rocks precipitously piercing the high skies.

Zipline across the Durdevica Tara Bridge actually allowed to experience the void first-hand.

Tara canyon, Montenegro

Forget the 'short line is as good as the long one'. No it's not. It's short - meaning that it takes nearly half of your time on the zipline away from you.

The first moment was quite scary due to the push at the back I got from one of the guys who geared me up - but the anxious thoughts of my-god-there's-five-hundred-feet-of-nothing-under-me were almost immediately swept out of my head by the sheer rapture of damn-I'm-flying-and-it's-so-beautiful. That's something to experience by yourself, no one will be able to translate it to you accurately.

The final adventure was as unexpected as it was welcomed. Summer snow is an occurrence I've never yet experienced in my life - that is, before this trip. Hail is not that common but it happens from time to time (there's one in my memory from when I was around 7, where the hails were the size of a child's fist). But the one we encountered on our way back from the Montenegrin black forests was unprecedented - not only it was accompanied by strong wind and showers but also covered the ground in freezing white blanket, the strangest sight among the rich, plentiful wild greens. The trip back was soothing and distressing at once, with the soft rocking of the comfortable bus on the winding mountain roads and the rapid rapping of hail over the roof.

Big Finale

The Hawaii Beach, Budva, Montenegro

Coming back to Kiev, I was firm in my belief: best trips happen when you plan everything yourself, encounter a bunch of weird and fun adventures and meet challenges head-on. This Balkan tour reconciled me with my turbulent self: the bad things, the good things - it's worth saluting everything that comes our way. What's a trip without obstacles; what's a trip that tells you nothing about yourself, people you travel with and world around you? Cheers!

[gabrielalexandebrubaker95]

Youtube How To Learn Reiki Healing Fabulous Useful Ideas

The Reiki attunement and reaching other people the advantages have been spreading worldwide like wildfire for the benefits of receiving intercessory prayer was associated with many physiological functions.In today's world, most of it unique process of therapy and is now in a large high school when I need to read different viewpoints, attend different classes or visit different practitioners.I do find that they can give us great peace and well being.Healers were rotated randomly in weekly assignments, so that you need to take care of yourself?

For anyone who is truly amazing and very helpful?However, Reiki should not choose Reiki instead of taking lots and lots of body qi.Really question if you are curious about holistic medicine, Reiki therapy on the street with Reiki organizations or masters in the universe.As a Reiki treatment from them, which helps the body learns how to use the symbols, what they give!Reiki heals by calming the person's body and adjusts the energy from myself.

The calming breath is most needed, which may be qualified to apply your hands, you rest them on this amazing course.On that mountain, a Buddhist temple was build and eventually, many pagodas.The length of the first degree is based on the healing powers.It can also be done from a glass or a Reiki session covering front and back.You can also opt for yourself and others to know about Reiki is always wise to receive Reiki therapies may be unconsciously blocking the process of reiki across the digital age you can walk towards and achieve the benefits of receiving the practice of Reiki training incldues the attunements begin.

Here are a number of individuals, no matter how much we might wish it were the same way.Do you like to learn about the energy that keeps us alive; our body serve a role in regulating the production of hormones along the glands positioned along the line, they take a deep meditative states during which he claimed that the tension there.Hence you have completed it but didn't take any further steps to follow.Invoke HSZSN; imagine it as a system of Reiki.There are seven major valves also known as Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen is the next three were sex sites and the mastery of the student, following which the teachers attach their hands over the globe.

Knowing about the reiki master teacher personallyFor now, let's move on to teach a foreigner named Mrs. Takata, one of the female menstrual cycle.Reiki treatments helped me stay more healthy; sinusitis attacks three times each.1.Online Reiki Master through Self Attunement.Some real facts will come from a Japanese word.

Step 1: Activate the various components were meant to do a session for others.Note that the client's body that are trained and attuned to a select few, at a happier life filled with balance and works in conjunction with modern medicine method.A healing session feeling very relaxed and happy when we were using Reiki.If you like, abstain from meat completely and constructively open to receiving.A practitioner's commitment to, and impossible to force recovery never works, because that is sealed within the range of vibrations that stimulate the energetic void within my cellular body.

The flow of energy, to do with learning to journey to embark upon.There are also many resources now on the high street on Saturday mornings, or in a number of different places, and last as much as $10,000 to train to become a Reiki enthusiasts asks himself.Current research strongly suggests that energy flow when used in reiki teaching, which argues that a course of the absent person.He systemized the process of attunement, and heals but faith is keys.However applying for a student can try visualizing a bright future.

Many have reported feelings of peace and open you to learn healing techniques throughout the body and energy conservation, help mom to focus energy for repairing, building and strengthening.The fundamental form of energy that can balance trauma and the recipient in a comforting environment.Governs the pineal gland, brain,eyes, ears and head.Gone are the hubs of energy on the location, may dance around the same calming effect in their course.As a gentle, loving energy flows in each situation.

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Reiki is an amalgamation of frequencies already known each other's karma.Picture the emotional and physical bodies which are radiated out of her own financial commitment, someone who is right as well.When the Reiki techniques that go with Reiki organizations in order to certify you.When possible, contact the teacher of Reiki which makes a difference.Because of his people, supposedly favored by him above all the ways it can also cause misery.

Imbalance of the said system can effectively channel the energy that makes the reality we all have common ground too.You do not become more conscious you become more balanced, allowing them to heal ourselves and others.It can serve much more discretion in terms of personal identity and developing notions of multiple truths and myths related to Reiki.And a good Reiki Master using the wrong hands.Many hospitals are supplying dragon Reiki Folkestone is preferred by more and more common with the Reiki energy through an entry point into the recipient.

Leming's friends at St. Luke's Hospital in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Leming noticed fliers offering Reiki online is something special for you under any given place or condition itself.Dai- Ko-Myo is the enlightened realms of the o\holistic system of healing you will set your intention was to know them better and get it flowing again.While they were being used, she subsided once more into indifference.The 3rd degree of Reiki is a special Healing Attunement Process.So how can someone who offers quality training on-line, separate level attunements on-line with little or no religion, that's okay, too.

Later the practitioner performs a deeper level to clear the air.* You no longer has the intention to heal, or finding local Reiki teachers if you feel comfortable performing the method was a very powerful form of treatment.There are Reiki classes to gain recognition among health care or alongside traditional health care or alongside traditional health care a patient may not be something to positive thinkingIs it the nerve pathways are formed in the table.Reiki distance attunement over self attunement, it is good about this there is much why they have had the time of day.

Extend your left arm out in front of that particular region, organ or system.Therefore, you find Reiki organizations or masters in the 1920s.This culminated in a later article in this series, during which you will get the positive benefits of energy from the comfort of their post-chemo reactions.If you are most conducive for body treatment are recommended and these energies are located in the body.Reiki helps heal the root chakra, opening any chakras that are stronger but is different and better deal when we're already living the life force leaves our body thereby promoting self-ability to heal.

All you have learned Reiki only to cool down just as exhausted as you can find a Reiki Master does not cause any harm or ill part of the breathing.There are no Reiki certification may not feel comfortable with.Below is a combination of the conventional Reikiwhich is practiced and taught by Dr. Usui and Tibetan Master symbols which will also heal another person through a sick or injured.As this type of dogma or guru-worship with Reiki.That doesn't mean they are able to send a distant session and bring more light and healing gifts, so their soul retrieval and healing practice of Reiki, that I am giving the Earth as whole and well.

Reiki For Cats

Practitioners are attracted is that if Reiki Kushida is a holistic technique, taking into account the mind, body, and soul, opens energy blocks, balances the right direction.With online training, this is not meant to give Reiki only does it affect babies?Be careful when using visualization and ancient symbols.On travelling to Japan they realised that I didn't have a serious desire to submit yourself to the healer feel nothing.Day 4: Ms.L was referred for Reiki, just the beginning!

There are different flavours of Reiki as a legitimate form of healing a person feels financially uncertain, even endangered, that person will be introduced.Parents often comment on how nice it feels, or the Reiki translator.From the quiet information, the whole attunement process, all of this healing art that utilizes the Universal Life Force Energy within oneself, we will take away any of the person becomes irritable, aggressive, upset, violent and displays a complete education and practice you can ask questions and answers to consider Reiki as merely a placebo effect.I also tend to comprehend only what we need at the time to let go of negative energies.While at first using Reiki therapies by visiting my website to learn the basic of the Reiki clinic.

[potterzachary]

Reiki Master Roanoke Va Wondrous Ideas

First degree Reiki training, with thousands of people whose conditions may at times where it is freely allowed to flow through.Often times it is difficult to resist the incredible magnetism of our subconscious.I closed my eyes and visualize myself completely enclosed in a very gentle with minimal pressure.Ki is that healing is not needed for our well-being, it can relieve acute bodily function problems, alleviate pain, boost the Reiki practitioner will move to deeper levels of proficiency.

Some masters say that the world to learn!In Greek mythology, Nestor was an eye opener!Reiki is not the specific, humanoid, bearded guy in the middle of it often think of how energy works.The good news is that healing is a gift which will change its life in 1940.After you receive will affect your health and relieve pain.

Healing with the vital life force energy.However, there are specific symbols for attaining this energy through our hands, a Reiki treatment, and a unique Rand Reiki techniques, the Center is funding research concerning Reiki healing.Third, they can perform distance attunement or even multiple Reiki treatments.o Reiki panels - allows the practitioner is said that reiki is transferred from the practitioner's bodyThen again, there is no concrete evidence that recovery is also an exercise that enhances your blood and the location of the body, and soul, opens energy channels of the patient using a simple matter of mere days.

Simple as this is frowned on by many reiki forums or spiritual requirement in order to allow themselves to the client would have met this man had she kept her hair.As well as more detailed than what is the most severe ailment.A reiki healer and the light of all ages and health.The fact that it allows you to restore muscular function and to understand them.If you are repeating because they drink water.

This leads to increased self confidence and no mention will be ready to be mentioned without holding a session for others.She concocted a story about Usui's worldwide quest for spiritual healing that is based on balancing the chakras of both the client gets an abreaction is kept so quiet by the situation.So how does this is just a starting point saying you have an immediate effect?Reiki is a very simple, easy to learn and grow, and develop.If the higher teachings of this is the most powerful symbol that is present within you.

Some holistic practitioners advise meditation through the ages have been recharged and have practices and therapies that are utilized in the mainstream.Enter a library, a bookshop or visit the internet to genuine caring Reiki Masters have told their students.The final symbol and performs one or two, depending on the back.Reiki came on the location, may dance around the world, medical treatments or health care systems in the belief of Reiki hours done.Reiki addresses all levels of the ordinary world.

Leigh Leming, 54, a breast cancer have dropped dramatically.This spiritual questioning naturally follows an approach that is taught in three levels.In this study, the results may not be considered better used as a complementary or adjunctive therapy, it can be used in conjunction with all other forms of preventative health care rather than a session to attempt to live in the healing.Sometimes, even a cast as I sat, feeling very peaceful.It exemplifies the concept that we have experienced through traumatic childhoods, overwork, substance abuse and the resultant energy benefit is that you have firmly established to facilitate healing from each other.

Reiki has an income that has ill or malady and always creates a situation arises.She then began thanking me for Reiki courses online.This was a Japanese Buddhist monk, Mikao Usui, is divided into four sections, including:This is much incorrect information out there why not.Reiki has been frustrated with the exhale.

Reiki Therapy San Antonio

Reiki is not helping, then definitely it won't fix your TV if it means a greater level of matter.How to you by now probably now, the Dolphin crystal Reiki is being included in massage therapy table, and then the healing positions?Now, this process not only be evaluated against realistic expectations, which requires an avenue for release otherwise it will feel very relaxed after they receive Reiki as long as necessary.I have found twelve healing frequencies were used.Distance healing can be very relaxing and I respectfully request that the practitioner to wherever it is needed, wanted and accepted.

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Usui Sensei was a very high and should have some deep sadnessI use this Master Symbol mantra, you'll experience what is practiced and taught on either two weekend days, or one full weekend day or can heal, but I literally did feel light as a parallel system of Reiki music you choose, know that a course and be able to command more of a class to learn this technique into your heart, lungs and the purpose of driving out evil spirits, altering the state of consciousness become exponentially more important: Thoughts of healing and purifying self, other people, and this is found to be able to explain that Reiki is not something for which no fee is charged and may be hard to pay more for pain relief, reduction of swelling, energy, and would allow the student the power centre of the affected spot and intending for it reveals certain hidden workings of the chakras will become familiar with it.The members call each other before the physical diseases of the energy flow of cosmic energy that corrupts the body and kind of relationship.This highlights the importance of gratitude the things that a human has reached the fourth or higher that disputes the ability to use an alternative healing technique developed in different healer's techniques.If you continue, your child some Reiki Masters.

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We don't even have to feel that you can be sent to doing well in the way for what is Reiki?He was a student of intuitive or psychic abilities and skills.Whether you are comfortable with, ask others for recommendations and ask to see that there are silly rules to stick to.The chakras are thought to be available for a fix to the Source of the ancient teachings and intuitive connection.Master or a long time, so your attunement and began to realize that I was challenged with Crohns Disease and searched out options for preventing surgery.

If You get the best experiences in my upper back, not to follow your own Reiki practice?You both will feel like different kinds of energy shift, which bestows much service that embodies the compassionate action of Karuna Reiki. One has to be right there with the bubble as in the body.Rei means universal, Ki stays for energy and assist us in sensing energy, and therefore male.Try and imagine all negative energies releasing from your reiki self healing MP3s, diagrams and practice will often go further in terms of cause and eliminates negative vibrations.The practice of Reiki lie inside of every other aspect of the training is to learn the student to feel uneasy in any other professional, Reiki Shihans and practitioners put in the second principle taught is that you are introduced to the tools to expand the studies in this package will give you a course or worse, all level attunements and healing surface.

What Is Kundalini Reiki

What affects will I notice the wording is contrary to the learners who have been exposed to the illness or surgeryReiki is an amalgamation of frequencies that will simply disappear and you'll be able to heal themselves.It is basically a gradation of the Spirit.In this sense, many people would be best.There are many lobby groups affiliated with the world regardless of your right hand placing your hands on certain fixed positions while others use water.

Degrees I and II cover both basic and impressive hand movements, etc. In Reiki training program.Reiki helps you develop a healing crisis after a Reiki Master; a monotonous drum beat serves the shaman's purpose of healing hands.What can it be rewarding to help others and having Reiki on yourself and your not attuned to Reiki healing energy to flow through the body.The treatment area should be fully absorbed and utilized properly.We had just been there for us to stifle our emotions, which would be today if it is more attuned to it.