#basically what I’m trying to say is for some reason tumblr is giving me so much anxiety

[evansbby]

I swear to god this place gives me so much anxiety now

[sweetenerobert]

hey yall!

soooo there is a situation with gracieispunk and i had a long time ago and with all this drama going on i felt like it was time to explain my side of things.

story under the cut

months ago (if you were on tumblr in september) i wanted to write a maintenance man joel x male reader but, since i started on wattpad i wanted to make sure i got gracie’s explicit consent before even writing it, around september i texted her, but she never responded.

it’s now october at this point and my friend tags me in a WIP game so i post my drafts and along with my drafts i post my maintenance man draft and at this point i couldn’t figure it the title for the of my fic so i just put “maintenance man — maintenance man!joel” and then i wanted to give me asking her another chance, so i went in here ask page and see if she was able down to talk.

she responded to my WIP and finally we got to talking

*here are the screenshots and proof that it was september that i first texted her in september, proof that she responded to my WIP game and then we talked

as you can see, she blocked me shortly after that, this is when i had a full blown panic attack and i had to call one of my best friends that helped calm me down and made me realize some things, but i couldn’t help but see if gracie had posted something about this situation, and she did.

but a couple days had passed since the situation (this happened in like a span of a week might i add) and a lot of people, whom i’ve talked about the situation with, has stated that people can’t own a character or anything and i made the conclusion that im still going to write maintenance man joel for the male audience, a whole different thing, inspiration and plagiarism are two different things!

the male community is tiny compared to the community that i don’t write for. i would understand if i was just stealing her idea, word for word, but that’s not me. at all.

i forgot to mention that a bunch of authors that i had looked up too, to come out of my shell in the writing world had blocked me, i don’t know what gracie told them, but all that i know is that a lot of authors blocked me, maybe they had their own reason, i don’t know.

but, all of this drama with basically putting small writers down, i would like to say i was one of them in a sense, where i literally almost quitted my future career. but im glad i told people about the situation and everything, because if i hadn’t, i possibly would’ve deleted tumblr and not made any of the friends/acquaintances that i have now.

so if you wanna hate me? go ahead. support me? i love you. shit on me? make me feel bad about myself? try it, i do it every day. i’m not posting this out of hate for no one at all, im just here to write and have a good time.



[saltydkdan]

Salty i wanna get into Baki which one do you recommend,the manga or the anime?

Oh you just woke up the fucking beast (I'm so sorry).

I LOVE this question, and as a recent Baki fan myself, I can tell you that getting into the series as a Western consumer can be rough if you don’t have a basic guide to know what you’re getting into…. so that’s what I’m gonna make this post (TEEHEE).

This series has gotta be one of the most insane shonen- actually no- one of the most INSANE PIECES OF FICTION I've ever experienced, and I NEED more people to check it out. Like, LOOK AT THIS SHIT DUDE.

Baki out of context somehow even puts Jojo's Bizarre Adventure to shame. The way I usually pitch it to people is that Baki is as insane as people THINK Jojo is before they read it. Shit is just... MAN LMAO. OBAMA IS FUCKING IN THIS.

Unlike more popular stuff like Dragon Ball and Hunter x Hunter, a lot of this series has just never been officially localized, so knowing where to start, and even how to support the series, is a hard task if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Thankfully THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE ME FOR. This Tumblr post is gonna be your one stop shop for how to get into Baki as an English speaker (and it’ll give me some space to ramble about one of my latest favorite series).

But uh before we get into the nitty gritty, wanna put some trigger warnings for the series for those who may want to know. Listen, I know how some of these are gonna look to the average person, but this series just be like that sometimes, if you can’t take stuff like this trust me it’s insanely valid. You’ll understand if you choose to take the plunge.

SERIES TRIGGER WARNINGS:

Animated Blood/Violence, some animated gory imagery, Incest (???), Nudity, Urine stuff, Bigfoot/Animal Violence, Death, Uncomfortable looking muscles, and one instance of sexual violence (offscreen)

If you are comfortable with all that (and again, valid as fuck if you aren’t) then let’s talk BAKI!

First off, Manga or Anime?

You would think that either would be fine, but my personal recommendation for Baki as a beginner, is to watch the anime over reading the manga. Simply put: The anime is a lot more widely available and accessible in English speaking territories, and is fairly easy to support officially with its current iteration.

For whatever reason, the manga just never really took off in the West when compared to other series, so it was only ever officially released in English a handful of times, and they only ended up publishing the first few volumes. Theoretically, you can read the first few books to start, but the entire series all together is legit longer than One Piece at a whopping 1,203 chapters, so you are gonna run out of material real quick. The fraction of officially available manga barely scratches the surface of the series.

Even if you’re stubborn about reading the manga and want to try reading fan translations, they come with their own separate batch of issues. Plenty of fan scans you can find online range from wildly outdated, to generally being poor quality at best. There’s even some fan translations that just straight up make shit up and don’t even properly translate the original script. Adding in extra dialogue and slurs randomly to make the text seem way edgier than it actually is.

Full disclosure, I wanna cut through my bias here and say that there are indeed some great scans available on the internet if you look hard enough, especially for the more recent content! But they aren’t super easy to track down with how the series is formatted, and you may accidentally find yourself reading the story out of its proper order.

The watch/read order of Baki is a bit of a toughie for new people, but is actually pretty simple once it’s explained. The story of Baki is split up into multiple different series, kind of similar in format to Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. Though instead of “Parts”, Baki is split up into completely different manga and TV series. This is why many fans get confused initially, especially with the watch order, because it isn’t laid out in an easy to understand way at first glance.

The most well known series are currently streaming on Netflix, but those aren’t the ones you wanna start with. Nope, the story of the Baki anime actually starts way back in 2001, in a TV show that isn’t streaming officially online. Now if you want to watch out of order, I’m not gonna stop you. You can do whatever you want, by all means, but you’re gonna be missing some VERY important story context, and some characters just won’t hold the same weight.

So if you DO want to watch in order, come with me my friend. Let me show you-

BAKI’S SUPER COOL AND NOT AT ALL CONFUSING WATCH ORDER:

Baki the Grappler (2001) (24 episodes)

This is the original 2001 anime adaptation, the very start of serialized Baki anime. You’re gonna wanna start here trust me.

This series isn’t streaming anywhere officially online, but you can find it… places. Seek it out, trust me, because otherwise you’re gonna pay way too much for out of print DVDs on Ebay. Thankfully though you have options! The series is both subbed and dubbed (as well as every series I discuss from this point forward.

This show is the very start of serialized Baki anime, the very beginning of Baki Hanma’s story. Although it’s not in the way you may think. Despite this being the earliest point in the Baki timeline, it’s actually an adaptation of a later story arc from the manga.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Didn’t you just say this is where I should start? Why is it adapting something from later in the story?”, and yeah it’s valid to be confused. While yes this is the first ever Baki anime, for some reason the staff behind it made the decision to move this later arc up a bit from the original manga. In my honest opinion, I feel like this is actually a great decision.

As you will see as you watch, this honestly FEELS like this should be where the story begins. The escalation of power and storytelling from this point onward feels very natural, and you won’t miss out on anything or spoil yourself whatsoever on later events.

This is the de facto best starting point.

Grappler Baki Maximum Tournament (2001) (24 episodes)

This is effectively the second season of Baki the Grappler. For whatever reason they decided to title it something else, and while this is the norm for the series later on, this name change is weird because it adapts an arc from the original manga just like the first season of anime I just talked about.

Whatever lol.

Anyway this series, much like the previous, isn’t officially available as of now. So your best option is to SEARCH for it. SEARCH on the INTERNET. Or y’know. The good ol’ expensive out of print DVD on Ebay route.

In my opinion, compared to the first season, this one feels a bit slower paced and a bit of a slog at points but HOLD STRONG TRUE BELIEVER. This season is the introduction to a lot of mainstay characters in the series. Many of which you will come to love, even if you don’t know it yet.

BAKI (2018) (39 episodes) (NETFLIX)

This is the modern adaptation of Baki. After the last series ended in 2001, the anime went on hiatus for 17 years before it was announced that it would be coming back with a modern coat of paint.

Contrary to what you may think, this isn’t a ground up reboot. It’s a continuation of the exact point they left off years ago, right after the Maximum tournament. The only thing that kind of sucks about this is that, at least for the English dub, they replaced most of the voice cast. Most of the new VAs do a great job, however you may need to get used to Yujiro Hanma having Shadow the Hedgehog’s modern VA from the games haha.

Thankfully, you can officially support this series easily via Netflix. Normally I’m pretty eh on Netflix as of late, but this being the only way you can support the show officially in the west, I personally recommend it.

Baki Hanma (2023) (39 episodes) (NETFLIX)

This is the most recent anime! It’s also on Netflix.

Me and my friends just got to this on our watchthrough together.

Anyway, this is my list! If after you catch up you wanna hop into the manga and read the fan scans, I’ve heard that you can start on Baki Hanma/Baki Son of Ogre (chapter 183).

Hope you enjoy the funny man punching show! Feel free to report back and tell me how you feel about it (positive OR negative)!

Like I said, I've been watching the series with friends on Discord every night or so when we're free and MAN. Baki is fucking AMAZING WITH FRIENDS. It just never slows down after a certain point, and it just gets stranger and crazier.

[orphiclovers]

Ya ever think Pre-Scenarios Yoo Joonghyuk went to church / ya think Yoo Joonghyuk has catholic guilt?

You would never get asked questions like this on any other site. Gotta love tumblr. And of COURSE I have thoughts on this that I will ramble on in great detail.

In general, I always try to be careful to not accidentally project my western understanding onto things with a different cultural context. Especially in regards to things like Christianity, since it’s not universal and…idk it would feel inaccurate to ascribe it to characters who wouldn’t realistically encounter it themselves? Not that you can’t, but I personally try not to. That's irrelevant with ORV though, they literally made the biblical Garden of Eden be a place YJH has been shirtless in. So I’m just going to go ahead and assume that all the Christian motifs I find are intentional and fair game lol

I’ll start with your second question: KDJ’s the one with the catholic guilt, not YJH. YJH has something much more sinister going on.

He gets two main monikers in canon - ‘Pilgrim of The Lonely Apocalypse’ and ‘Puppet of The Oldest Dream.’ In ORV your moniker basically reveals what your ‘story’ is all about. These two names are supposed to show what Yoo Joonghyuk represents, and my thoughts there are…

1. Puppet of the Oldest Dream

He’s the incarnation of the all-seeing and all-knowing god that created the world. 

What I’m saying is, he's a Jesus figure, alright? HEAR ME OUT. He is cursed to walk the world and suffer eternally to bring salvation to one man - at the end it's revealed that he willingly chooses to bear this burden (talking about 0th here). It’s that classic scapegoat story, bearing the sins of the world to save everyone else, but he's also choosing to do this, despite knowing it will be awful.

At the end of his regressions, when he breaks free of his chains, stops being a puppet, he finds himself lost and missing their weight. He had a terrible purpose in regression - without it, he's meaningless again.

2. As Pilgrim of the Lonely Apocalypse

He's literally called a ‘pilgrim’ - someone who goes on a journey to find god. Catholic guilt is about thinking you deserve to suffer for some perceived sins, but Yoo Joonghyuk already is in Hell. ‘Hell of Eternity’ specifically, which manifests with the Christian imagery of fire and brimstone. His ‘journey to find God’ takes him through a world of unimaginable pain and cruelty that he has to somehow find meaning in. (Both YJH and SP have different answers on what that meaning is in different points in their life. )

Needless to say, he has A LOT of imagery associated with religion.

On a more personal level, YJH is motivated by this ceaseless search for the meaning of his own existence. There's the extra layer there that he knows instinctively he was put on this earth for some grand reason, only no one ever tells him what it is. He’s cast into the world without memories and has to stumble through life blind, just like the rest of us. He desperately seeks someone who can tell him what he’s supposed to do, parent, god, prophet or anyone else. (Basically, he's an edgy atheist teenager.)

That’s why he never reaches his ‘▪️▪️’ - the cruel thing is that he can’t ever truly find his purpose, because he is driven by having an unreachable goal.

To answer your first question: Pre-scenarios Yoo Joonghyuk is busy trying to survive his shitty job and taking care of Mia. He doesn't have time for church or having a life or anything. All he can do is daydream of one day finding whoever created him and gave him life. He puts all his hopes on getting enough money to hire a private investigator and keeping this single goal in mind for years. 

He will meet his parents and they will tell him what he’s supposed to do right? The really fucked up thing is, he does eventually get there.

The investigators give him an address, which he visits but finds only an empty house. On the way back, he has a little bit of an existential crisis and starts really thinking about it all. even thinks the classic YJH ‘who am I?’ Then, not even one second later, THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE STARTS. THERE’S HIS ANSWER I GUESS!!!!!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Ok a rant about Cerri bomb and how much I HATE her

In the addict music video she was a very supportive friend of Angel and I loved her in the pilot! I wish we got that supportive best friend to Angel in the final product, but unfortunately she is a woman in a vivziepop show.

She’s AWFUL now I can’t stand her, the way she tried to make Angel relapse was so weird like pilot cherri wouldn’t do that! I also really dislike her design it has to be one of my personal least favourites (not the bottom though nothing is worse than alastors design to me) she isn’t enjoyable to watch anymore she had potential if she’d only been introduced earlier! Imagine if she was introduced in episode 4 and played the supportive friend she was originally supposed to be!

And GOD I hate her ship with pentious, it was SO RUSHED, so poorly done and the ship isn’t very “so cute and in love!!” When you remember she showed literally NO interest in him until Angel brought up that he has 2 dicks, and this is supposed to be a romantic relationship we CARE about.

Cherri didn’t need a romantic relationship she needed CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT we needed to get to know her! If you’ve only seen the show and no other Hazbin media at all (which shouldn’t be required you should be able to get all your info FROM THE SHOW) you’d barely know anything about her character or who she is. I wish we got pilot cherri bomb, and that she got a design update, and that her and pent’s relationship was either taken slower or didn’t happen at all

You silly little creature you, you have me writing in my notes app instead of Tumblr because I’m about to go crazy!

Cherri Bomb. More like Cherri what the hell happened

Anyway I’m gonna tackle this one thing at a time, and also forgive me if I word something weird I just woke up an hour ago at the time of writing this.

First thing, design: I personally quite like her design since it very loosely reminds me of Iris from Ruby Gloom with ofc the one eye, the very rowdy personality and kind of the hair, but those are very broad design choices and its just me remembering some random girl I thought was silly but like Iris did it better.

Okay now second thing and then we go into literally everything else: My blog has been an angry pit of despair for everything in Episode 6 as of recent so let’s tap into that again 🤏 just a little. I am going to give my classic centrist opinion and say I don’t mind Cherri Bomb all that much but I absolutely get why people dislike her, and I mean this in the kinda way as people who dislike… Idk Fukuchi from BSD. WILD jump in fandoms but gimme a second. I can’t 100% say that Cherri Bomb in the pilot was better than the series since we have no idea if maybe for some reason she was intended to be like that offscreen, but judging by the pilot and “Addict” alone, it’s very unlikely. I could see her maybe being a bad influence at times and being like “Loosen up dude we’re in hell and its Friday” or something (idk if they have Friday in hell but everyday is probably Monday 🥁) but overall I feel like she’d end up apologising for it. However on the other side of things, I can understand why Cherri did that in Episode 6. Of course not to say this is okay, but Cherri is still very clearly not in the “redemption” mindset. She’s happy the way she is and is really only focused on certain aspects of issues. We see her comfort Angel in “Addict” but thats basically the extent of it. Cherri’s definition of “self-care” seems to be less of actually taking care of yourself and more like just letting go and having fun instead which really only gives a momentary fix to the issue, much like how substances can be abused. Do you kinda see what im getting at? Cherri offering Angel drugs while he’s trying not to relapse is not okay, full stop. But her reasoning as to why makes a bit of sense for her purpose in the show which is honestly not much, since, as you said, she is a woman in a Vivziepop show.

To my knowledge Cherri is like 30-ish years younger than Angel Dust in Hell experience so she’s likely not reached a point where she’s gotten tired of how things work, as well as the fact we don’t really have much of an idea on her backstory aside from that random shot in “Addict” of that guy in a puddle??? But generally she seems to be in a better position than Angel is, so there isn’t really any reason for her to want to change, yknow? I will say I do like exploring characters that are good friends while still being bad influences at times, but I’m going to be honest I feel like thats really not what Angel needs right now. I wouldn’t be as pissy about it if she did end up apologising afterwards (I’m just gonna headcanon she did for my sanity) but even then as Angel’s friend we don’t know like… anything about her. I would’ve really liked to get some kind of callback to the pilot where Cherri mentions she thought Angel was dead until the random Sir Pentious turf war, and maybe we could see her actually being worried about Angel again instead of those 3 frames in “Addict”, but Hazbin is rushed and I guess we don’t have time for that. And also YES it would’ve been great to see her in Episode 4 and actually doing something but again, Vivziepop is boring.

Going forward I would really like to see Cherri, if not become a patron, at least try to be a better friend and sure if she wants to keep doing stuff she can keep doing it, but just don’t encourage other people to relapse. It is very simple.

SIR PENTIOUS! About Sir Pentious, this is going to be incredibly short. I don’t hate the ship but also I’m not really crazy about any of the Hazbin Hotel ships? I also don’t really hate any except for the genuinely horrid ones but thats basic sense. I absolutely agree with you, Cherri does not need a romantic interest. Romance doesn’t always = growth and growth should not always = romance. She needs some genuine character TLC and I hope to god she gets some in season 2. We’ve only seen a few minutes of her so I have yet to give a firm opinion, but as of now I’m just hoping they do something actually interesting with her instead of just alluding to Sir Pentious ship. Also the penis thing. 1. What was that, and 2. It made me and my friends briefly pause to sex Sir Pentious and come to the conclusion he is likely transgender/hj

TLDR; Please give us a fun Cherri Bomb again. ☹️

[zetomato]

QSMP The fated cursed team?

Alright, so it’s my time on the microphone I guess.

Without going deep into the reason why (since it’s not the focus), I have a love/hate relationship with Purgatory. It’s an incredible feat for the Admins with all the details in it as well as the events planning, we get to see new sides of the characters, but I hate competition games (when the win is crucial) and how CCs from every team had their “I genuinely am having a very frustrating and not nice time” for various reasons.

This in mind, I’ve been following the “WHO IS CURSED?” question from the start like almost everyone… But with a different viewpoint. See, I’m someone who does a lot of LARPs and Tabletop RPGs, I’ve been animator and dungeon master (I DM once each week right now) so I know well the “Let’s make a plan and see how the players work inside of it” I didn’t really plan on yeeting a big speech on Tumblr, but I’ve seen a lot of people take hypotheses as facts and got surprised. So let me break things up a little.

The base of a goal.

When you’re making an event/a game/a RPG with a “Someone is cursed”, there are some things you cannot do. Now, the events were planned and, therefore, they planned on the number of teams to go from 3 to 2 from the start. This cannot sustain a “One team is cursed” from the start. Why? Because you have no clue who will win and who will lose. Before the egg event, one could have said “Soulfire will lose because they have put little time on their base compared to the other teams.” You could have said “Bolas will lose because they aren’t the best PVPer and have less gear.” You could have said “Green Gay Ninjas will lose because Red and Blue will ally against them.” Heck, you could have said “No one will lose, they’re going to try to tie.” (All of those before the event even started) Anything could have happened. I, for one, did not expect for Red to win at the beginning of the day. And yet they did.

Ok, let’s back up now.

If a team was chosen as cursed from the start, the admins had at least three ways of making sure the event would last past the egg event.

Make the cursed team with strong-ass players so they had no chance to lose. (Uncertain technique, would be way more visible than what we had/have)

Make the cursed team with every single nerf you can so they’re so obviously cursed that the other teams make sure they stay alive. (A very sad idea, everyone would just already know who needed to win or maybe kill them thinking it was a red herring, again, no one truly fit that 100%)

One person is cursed and they aren’t “cursing” their team until it’s a 1v1 (and not a 1v1v1) (That’s the one that would work the most if the cursed team had been chosen from the start)

Herding cats

Now, as a DM, I’ve herded cats for years now, and here’s what I learned. If you want a precise outcome to your game, you will have to use the three doors trick. Basically, you put your players in front of a choice of doors and whichever door they choose will lead to the room you wanted them to see next. It makes no sense to shoot yourself in the foot and leave the direction of your story entirely to your players if you know it needs to end in X number of games with a specific scene. This doesn’t mean there couldn’t be a cursed team right now, but with all they set up (the nuke, the ‘If they die everyone dies’, etc.) my DM brain is telling me that the cursed team will be chosen narratively at the end while giving meat to the bones of hints we got.

Alright, for the “Cursed team hints” now.

So, one of the most looked at things for the hints were the eggs messages. Let’s break those down quickly. I do not believe one can say “MESSAGES ARE CLUE” without taking ALL OF THEM as a clue.

“No matter what… Protect Tallulah.” Now, this message, like all others, can be read multiple ways. The first one could be about the only Tallulah we actually saw on the island (well, part of her likeness at least), the statue. This one was Red’s statue. So one could say that Red need to win, aka, they are the cursed team. But, you can also read it as “Tallulah will show up later on and she needs to be protected first and foremost.”*

“Nothing is off the table, run over whoever you need to win.” Well, this one, yes, also has more than one possible meaning. The first and most obvious would be “BBH and his team needs to win at all cost.” would fit, would make sense. But it could also be read as “The final choice will be hard, you need to make sure all the residents need to win.” All is a question of point of view. None of these ways to read it are wrong, which, I think, is the point.*

“Dads you won't believe it, it isn't fireflies on the sky run and don't stop” (translated message) This is the most hazy of them all. What vibe this one gives me is - especially since there are some of Richas’ parents in every team - about a future moment. Maybe a final event on the 18th. Another way to read it could be a warning about mobs. It seems less likely, but some mobs in Purgatory turn invisible after someone hits them, leaving only two white dots as eyes. This one is a stretch but my back needs it.*

One message (chayanne) reads more as a Red Team is Cursed. One message (Dapper) reads more as Blue Team is Cursed. * But you know how else you can read any of these three egg messages? Very cool one liners to bring up the hype about an upcoming event. (but they’re cooler as clues)

The wheel

The wheel is very much uncertain for me, mostly because I don’t think Tubbo was even meant to roll it. At least, definitely not when he did. He glitched through barrier blocks to reach it and then lava was dropped in a “Player get the heck out goddamnit you know you weren’t supposed to be there” way. (As a DM, I know that vibe. No, bard, you cannot SEDUCE MY GODDAMN DRAGON) Now, was he supposed to later? Maybe, I don’t know, but basing a lot of things on that, especially while ignoring that Slime (Red) and Roier (Green) were also there and could have been the ones rolling it doesn’t seem like a fair assessment.

The tickets.

So there’s another thing that is wild to me. They used the tickets to join purgatory, and only Red had the fancy ones. I would have said “Oh well it’s part of the bit to have slime on Charlie’s or feathers on Phil’s”, but the sparkles on Vegetta and the cat on Wil’s seem to pass way more of a message. Now, the one person who wasn’t in Red with a fancy ticket isn’t even in Purgatory Aka Quackity. ElQuackity wasn’t on the train with the rest, he appeared there, but also, it’s canon that he definitely isn’t Quackity and wants the eggs dead. I must say, the tickets seem like the most palpable clue we have linked to Purgatory but I do not know if it means they are or aren’t the cursed team. That could go either way.

Of course I was going to mention Tubbo so here it is.

In Escape Rooms, Tubbo would be what we call a wild card. It’s someone who grabs the information and tries to make all the possible links between everything. Those people are very useful when others are stuck trying to follow narrow logic or trying to give more difficulty to a riddle than what it needs. It’s an extremely important job since they can make the intrigue suddenly make sense. The thing, though, is that 80% of what a wild card says is in the array of “I’ve connected the dots” “You didn’t connect shit” “I connected them”. They will make sense of things that aren’t supported enough to be certain. Purgatory doesn’t help with both team’s heavy biases towards themselves, which they both have. Tubbo said a lot of stuff and made them make sense one way. But he also ignored the others (understandably, again, everyone biased) and ignored parts of clues he had access to. The man cooked, but it doesn’t mean that the meal is consumable yet.

Then, what?

Bottom line, no one gave us any clue of what could be a sign of a cursed team. We do not know what to even look for. What does a cursed team look like? What hint is for the curse and what is for something else? Everyone, watchers and CCs, are grasping at things, hoping it’s the right one. In my humble opinion, I think that there are hints, but they are versatile enough that the eye guy could choose any team and announce it as the cursed one at the end, bringing up some hints in link to that team and backing them up with new Lore so it becomes “obvious”. This would be my DM way at least. It would give the hazy hints meaning on any possible team when the time is right. Make the people believe hints were there for the final answer all along and not notice that there were just as many hints going the other way.

TL:DR; There is no clear definition yet about what is a cursed team other than what happens if they die. Many hints we have are uncertain and fit more than one team. The DnD Dungeon Master way that the admins seem to follow so everyone has fun might only choose a cursed team upon the last day so Lore can happen in the most narrative way possible. It would avoid any randomness players bring.

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, you’ve probably have been asked this many times but how do you start writing fanfic without cringing at yourself? i already feel silly for reading it. i noticed you have gained recognition outside of tumblr which i believe to be an achievement but i can’t allow myself to go through that.

i work in the finance sector at a big american firm, i can’t have my coworkers knowing i’m writing fanfic. i already get teased for watching disney animated films (which it’s not that bad) how do you deal with this? ik you’re still at college and ofc, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid but i bet you know what i mean? do you have some advice on this?

⚠️me not shutting the fuck up and getting way too personal below the cut

honestly at first i DID cringe at myself. i cringed so much that after posting my first fic in like november i dont think i posted again til january because i was writing and would just get so humiliated despite being alone and no one knowing who i was or what i was doing LOL but honestly the way i got over that was just to do it more because i truly love writing and why would i let feeling “cringe” stop me from doing something i love and that makes me happy? that would be so heartbreaking, life is hard enough, we deserve to do things we love and are passionate about without judging ourselves so harshly

as for not letting other people know well yeah i just don’t tell my friends or anyone ik in real life that i write fanfic lol, they know i love to write and they know im obsessed with spencer reid but that’s as much as i’ve told them! i know it’s a thing that maybe most people would consider “weird” but as someone who has a crushing fear of intimacy this is kinda my outlet lmfao. and it made me feel really insecure and weird at first but then i realized like… i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful, i have a lot of good qualities and the fact that i write fanfic doesn’t actually detract from any of them. it also helped for me to accept the reason why i write fanfic which is (and we’re abt to get real personal) i’m deeply afraid of intimacy of any kind and always have been so writing fiction abt the stuff i’m too scared to do isn’t a bad thing. there are a lot of people who wouldn’t understand it but they don’t have the same experiences as me and i don’t need them to understand it because i know that they never could. like they don’t understand what it’s like to so terrified of being known by another person that you obsess over the hottest guy in your school district for six months bc you want the validation of him liking you back and you do everything in your power to make him like you and then when he actually does reciprocate you immediately start icing him out to the point where he says hi at a party and you ignore him to his face cause you’re so afraid of men😂😂😂😂😂 they don’t get those vibes!!!

anyway basically you just have to remember that you’re doing it for you and it actually doesn’t mean something is WRONG with you if you enjoy writing and the safety and control that fiction offers you. it just means you’re one of billions of people living an entirely unique experience, just like anyone else, and honestly i think it makes you interesting. having hobbies and passions is rlly sexy and cool, regardless of what they are, and you deserve to do stuff you like doing. if anyone else is giving you shit abt it it’s probably because they genuinely don’t understand what it’s like to have interests and that makes me feel bad for them lol

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month - Aug 2023: ao719

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @ao719. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: ao719 Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Anitah

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I first started playing in June 2018. The Royal Romance was the first book I played, and I got hooked from the end of the first chapter. At the time, they were midway through releasing TRR book 3, so I binged books 1 & 2 and finally caught up on the day of the wedding, where the chapter ended with the attack at the boutique. Then I didn’t know what to do with myself because it was the first time I had to wait a week to find out what was going to happen.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Finding Tumblr was a complete accident. I was googling something really dumb about Liam and TRR and happened to stumble across a link for a fic on Tumblr. At the time, I didn’t know what Tumblr was; I’d heard of it but had no idea what it consisted of. The fic I came across was around 40+ chapters, and I was in my glory reading this angsty story about Liam, but it wasn’t finished, so when I reached the last updated chapter, I was like, “I need more.” So I opened Tumblr and searched for more Liam fics and found a trove. I lurked for another month or so before finally making my account in September 2018.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I wish I had some good story for it, but it’s the most basic thing, lol. It’s just my initials and a significant date. I think if I came into the fandom with the intention of actually doing something with the blog, I would have tried to come up with something a little more clever and creative, but I had zero intention of doing anything but reading. I thought about changing it a few years ago, but when I learned that I’d have to relink everything in my masterlist, it didn’t seem worth the hassle.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

It’s from the day TRR 3 ended and it’s about how I was sad that it was over but was glad that I had all these stories to read.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’d never written anything until I joined the fandom, so I’ve only been writing for almost five years now. The thought of writing didn’t even cross my mind when I joined the fandom, but within a couple of weeks of making my blog, I had a random idea pop up in my head, and for some reason, I decided to write it down. A few days later, after talking myself out of posting and then talking myself back into it, I bit the bullet. For me to post a story that I wrote was entirely out of my comfort zone. I’m pretty shy and tend to be more of a wallflower, so I don’t usually put myself out there, especially like that, and I’ve never been someone who does something where I intentionally set myself up, knowing there is a very good chance that I will fail. And social media on any platform can be a pretty intimidating and terrifying place when you open yourself up, especially to strangers, even by way of posting a measly little fanfic. So to say I was terrified of posting that first fic is an understatement, but I’m so glad that I did.

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

The Royal Romance will always be my favorite. It was the first book I ever played and was the only one I played for well over a year (I just kept replaying over and over and over until @cocomaxley convinced me to give MotY a try, which I fell in love with). It’s my comfort book. And like every book, it definitely has its flaws, but I love it and the characters so much. And TRR is my favorite book to write about. Liam will always be my number one guy.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

The first fic that I wrote was I Dare You. It’s not an all-time favorite of mine, but I like it well enough that I wouldn’t change anything about it.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

This is tough because I have a few that I love for different reasons, but I think Always You will always be the most special to me because it was the first series I wrote that I can truly say I poured my whole heart into. I love that story, and I love the history between Liam and the OC, their bond, and their relationship. 

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

When I decided to start Hopeless Hearts, I didn’t think it would be received any differently from most things I’d written before. It was an idea I’d kept on the back burner for over 2 years prior to writing it because I didn’t think it was anything spectacular or out of the box. It turned out to be my most well-received series, and it became one of my personal favorites as well.

I don’t think anything I’ve written has left me feeling as though I wished it had gotten more. I’m still surprised to this day that anyone wants to read anything I’ve written at all, so any love that my fics get is beyond appreciated.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst (but with a HEA). I love putting my characters through the wringer before giving them that happily ever after they deserve. Whether I’m reading or writing, there’s something about feeling the pain and longing they’re going through that gets me emotionally invested. I think that’s why I love the second chance romance trope so much, too. It’s a really versatile trope, but there’s a lot of room for angst in those kinds of stories because of that established history between the characters and a past that tore them apart the first time around.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I think I sprinkle a little bit of myself into all of my MCs/OCs. It’s usually something small like a favorite food, a hobby, certain mannerisms, etc. I think the one that I’ve added more of myself into than any other and can relate to the most personality wise would definitely be Charlotte.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I struggle with all of it here and there, and I’m constantly questioning whether something makes sense, if it’s flowing together, if it’s too descriptive or not descriptive enough, etc. I think the one area I most consistently struggle with is deciding where and how to end because I always want to leave my chapters with a cliffhanger or if I’m finishing something for good, I want to give it the ending it deserves. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have quite a few that are unfinished that I know I more than likely won’t ever pick back up, mostly because I just lost my mojo for them, but there are definitely some that I want to finish. I’d really like to get back to Past Meet Present one day. I don’t even remember why I got off track with writing it, and it’s been at least two years or more since I last updated it 🫣 so I’m not sure if anyone would even still be interested at this point, but I’d really like to finish that along with Breaking Point and Us Again.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

No. Maybe. I don’t know, lol. I try to be a “never say never” kind of person, but writing is something that I’ve done for almost five years that literally no one in my real life knows about. Not my friends, not my family, not a single soul. It’s like my dirty little secret. And it’s a little tough because it does get lonely sometimes when you have something that you love doing so much but you just feel like you can’t share or aren’t ready to share that part of yourself with even those closest to you. I’m a pretty self-conscious person, and posting on here where I can hide behind a screen is hard enough; I get nervous and have a good spike of anxiety every time I post something, no matter what it is. I don’t know if I could handle someone who knows me personally even knowing that I write, let alone actually reading something I’ve written. I’ve got the bubble gut just thinking about it 🥴

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

I’ve been lucky enough to talk to and befriend some amazing and talented people in the time I’ve been here who I’ve certainly looked up to when it comes to their writing talents. And there are also those writers who I got to know after I’d been writing for a while that not only continued to inspire me with their amazing stories and talent but who also became a huge support and really close friends. They were and/or are always willing to brainstorm, look over snippets, help in those moments when I’ve been extra critical of myself and feeling very unsure, and/or have just been the absolute best cheerleaders and constantly supportive and encouraging to not only me but others as well. I don’t want to make a list because I always end up forgetting someone and I don’t want to leave anyone out, but anyone that fits that bill above, you know how much I love and appreciate each one of you.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

I’d say either Always You or Hopeless Hearts for a movie. Series I think Full Disclosure with some Charlotte shenanigans would be pretty fun 😂

17- Do you write original fiction? 

I haven’t. I’ve been asked a few times about whether I’ve thought about turning a couple of my series into original stories, but I just don’t think I’ll have the confidence to ever do it 😬

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I do photography. I love calligraphy and making hand drawn quote signs on wood or canvas. I love to read — I’m currently in my fantasy girl era and have been obsessing over the ACOTAR series for months, lol. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

I use so many to express myself in conversations that I think it would be hard to pick just one. My most commonly used ones: 💀 😂 🥲 😬 😍 🥴 🥹

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I just want to thank CFWC for working so hard to help keep this fandom active and supporting everyone here. 

To anyone who’s taken any time to read my stories and interact with me in any way, I appreciate it more than I can say. 

This place has been such an escape for me over the past (almost) five years, one I’m still very much in need of. So, whether you’re a content creator, writer, artist, reader, whatever the case may be, whether we’ve interacted before or not, thank you for what you’ve done to help keep this fandom alive.

[desultory-novice]

I recently found out that “weekend Susie” is a mistranslation and it’s actually called “susie on vacation” in jpn. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be Susie in the future like Manager Magolor..any ideas on why shes missing her hairclip and the “Secretary” title she always has in jpn? Susie is so hard to figure out..like how she only smiles three times in the entirety of robobot (once when she takes the program controller and twice when singing the noble haltmann but ONLY when saying the words father in jpn) so I’m curious on what your thoughts are on her (and unfortunately has the worst localization ever…i had to look at the robobot translations from @/kaialone on tumblr) sorry for rambling but shes so interesting to me and it’s a bit sad seeing how a lot of the details she has in characterization never get talked about

Anon...Did you somehow know I've been replaying Robobot in Japanese?! And it's basically strengthened my confirmation that some people - though less than before - are a bit too harsh and/or restrictive in their takes on both Susie and her father. 

That said, I do I try to give people room to "safely hate" these fictional characters as, for a lot of people, it may be one of their only ways of processing a gross problem that affects the real world/so much of history that they can't do much about.

But I love the silly/tragic Haltmann family. I'm sympathetic and even semi-defensive towards 'em. Which is why I'm happy to answer any good faith Haltmann asks.

Ahem! Also, before I get into it, I wanted to say that technically "Weekend Susie" vs "Susie on Vacation" is not a mistranslation per se.

What it IS is a localization.

休日 can mean "vacation," yes. When you break down the kanji, literally it is made up of the words "rest day." So it can also be just about any day when you're not working/not at school/not busy.

For most of western civilization (not me because I'm a contractor XD ) the weekends are people's "rest days." To read 休日 as "weekend" might not even be that much of a stretch/localization!

Probably explains the lack of "secretary" title. She's literally not on the clock! As for the hairclip, who can say...? Similar reasons? I know in Susie's case, it's sentimental, though hairpins in Japan often have this association with studiousness/"time to get serious" so removing it is an easy indicator "She's allowing herself time to be silly!"

I do like to imagine that this is a post-canon Susie though. That girl deserves something nice after her trauma...

Anyway, reminder that post-FL, the localizers have been working more closely with the Japanese team to create a more accurate translation for us. I know the wounds from PR's rough translation (and SA's fast-and-loose in weird places one) still hurt, oof, but the Kirby series is getting better about its translations!!

Actually... you know... there's not THAT many cutscenes...

Maybe I will make my own "If they'd hired Dess to translate Planet Robobot" translation of the game? I've already threatened several times to do a full translation of "The Noble Haltmann" with all references/metaphors intact...

But yes! Speaking of how Susie uses her emotions, I was so moved by something in her first meeting with Kirby, I actually wrote about it! And I'm going to share it here, because you might find it interesting~

-

So, I had my eyes peeled for any interesting bits of characterization left behind on the cutting room floor. Immediately, I was amused by how politely Susie talks to Kirby in the beginning. She doesn't really "talk down to him" or insult his intelligence in the slightest. (One could argue that it's a false business politeness, of course. Although she only breaks that in like, the second to last cutscene) Any dismissal of him feels very "company-mandated." (And the company is run by a murderous computer but leaving that aside...)

She gently praises how beautiful the water and the air on this planet is and that's when something... starts to change in her...

Susie gets impossibly sad. And her attitude changes COMPLETELY.

I stopped for a second reading this. "Hold on. What? Why does she lose her cool HERE? Is this some indication that the place she and her dad used to live on was a really poor planet without clean air and drinking water?" And heck, maybe that is the case!

But something else struck me about her line:

"...You don't even know the value of what you have..."

It's not the snooty we-know-better-than-you "misappropriation of resources" that is triggering her. It is having something precious right next to you and you don't even recognize it.

It's about her dad. Right from the beginning.

She can't NOT talk about it. It affects all her actions. Maybe another reason while I feel like it's better to judge Susie on a whole than any one individual action she takes, because (like Magolor, oops oops oops) she is masking her intentions alllll the time.

Also, omg, I know some people are still sensitive about the Mechaknight thing but that is PEAK grim humor in Japanese! It is treated way too cold and business-like in English, imo.

In Japanese, she starts to describe him exactly like she's telling her bestie that she just met the man of her dreams and then the WHAM line: "So, I gave him a full-body modification!"

Yes, it's unhinged. But it's also wonderful. (She's so Eggman-core.)

[yuikomorii]

The day tumblr stans will stop being chronically online is the day I will finally like this fandom. Goofy aah people think their opinions matter?

Last year everyone adored Ayato on this platform but after a certain ahem cult ahem of people joined, I can sense they’re secretly having beef with Ayato and are sending mean anons to Ayato fans for some jealousy reason.

Granted he is not my personal best boy but he’s DiaLovers’ best boy for a fact and the hype he started getting is pretty much deserved. In a series of games that’s a bit dead, I’m glad he’s able to keep it relevant not only for the DiaLovers fans. Don’t mind delulus saying bad things about him, those only exist on this platform anyway and are just seeking for attention and approval from random strangers.

// Tbh, I’m disappointed but not surprised. Unfair and two-faced people are everywhere and if they truly spend their time in that manner, you can already see how miserable their lives must be.

I believe that the Ayato hate train began with Youngblood and picked up steam this year after the release of the Meow Meow vampire art. Many people made fun of Ayato's appearance and blamed him for FaVoRiTiSm , despite the fact that everyone in Japan adored him there. I don't know why, but the DL Tumblr fandom is completely out of touch with everything DL-related. They have no idea that Rejet simply creates Ayato content as a marketing ploy; in fact, Japanese fans are literally the ones who request it. In 2020, Ayato was stated as fans’ top choice and got invited as a co-star with a national idol at Nino-san, which was broadcasted on the second largest television corporation in Japan. If people hadn’t recommended him so much, he wouldn’t have ended up there… it’s not that hard to understand.

This has the same vibe as those kpop fans who always complain about how their ult group is underrated but don’t even stream their songs, instead they spend their time criticizing bigger groups for what??

I’m not forcing anyone to love Ayato but at least give me good reasons to dislike him. I understand not liking ALL Diaboys but isn’t it hilarious how some people would give you a litany of reasons why they can't stand Ayato, but when you look at their bias, he did the same (or worse) things as (than) Ayato? If you truly dislike those actions, at least pick a side, lol. I honestly don’t hate any Diaboy (though I don’t agree with their behavior all the time) but even if I did, I wouldn’t throw shade at that one character out of the blue only to piss of his stans.

And I swear, it's incredibly annoying how some people would tear Ayato down when asked about their favorite character/ship/route, etc., even though he has absolutely NOTHING to do with the question or he isn’t even the main topic of the question. Saying things like, "Yeah, I like this character because, unlike Ayato (just an example hehe)—" or "No hate towards Ayato but — *proceeds to mischaracterize and hate on him*" are examples of uncalled hate speech. Literally why use HIM most of the time as an example when talking about negative things?? At this point that’s not even a coincidence anymore, but a pattern, which is truly giving fan behavior.

Such people are really the worst. Reminds me of how some fans still think it’s okay commenting stuff like “This is great but I don’t like *inserts thing the OP obviously likes*” or “Not trying to be mean but *starts being mean*”. Respectfully, who even asked for your opinion? Mind your own business and learn basic etiquette.

[maeve-on-mustafar]

Wait, that's so interesting Brotherhood gets a bad rep? I thought the writer was one of the few writers who understood Anakin and was excited for his coming novel!

To be fair, I think the reputation of the Star Wars: Brotherhood novel specifically depends on what fan circles you travel in. The Star Wars lore dudes on YouTube love this book, and so do most of the Star Wars EU podcasts. Also, if you’re a fan of Anakin & Obi-Wan as a team, you’ll adore this book, as its very foundation is their relationship. The author of Brotherhood is Mike Chen, who is a proud fan of the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover, and it is very evident that Chen takes his character inspiration from Stover’s own uniquely intense “closer than friends, closer than brothers” take on the Anakin & Obi-Wan relationship.

From what I’ve seen, the criticism of this book comes mainly from pro-Jedi circles on Tumblr, particularly fans who dislike Anakin. I’m guessing it’s due to three main reasons: 1) this book is very pro-Anakin and runs on the belief that Anakin was always an unwanted misfit in the Jedi Order and always was very aware of that, 2) the book takes a more critical view on the Jedi’s involvement in the war and frames them in a more questionable light, and 3) this book is very, very anti-Mace Windu.

Personally, my biggest issue is with the anti-Mace stance of this book, as well as the argument Brotherhood makes that Mace Windu was one of the Jedi to always dislike Anakin. It makes zero sense to me, because I’ve listened to every interview with Mike Chen that I can get ahold of (I can rec some if anyone is interested, just ask me), and he doesn’t seem to dislike Mace Windu? He just noticed that Anakin is very formal and respectful in front of the Council in AOTC, and he takes this as evidence that Anakin never felt comfortable with the Council or Mace Windu.

It’s odd to me, because in AOTC, Mace is very supportive of Anakin? From giving him the solo assignment of protecting Padme to defending him to Obi-Wan to not even asking “WTF are you doing on Tatooine?” when Anakin FaceTimes him from there. Ignoring all of those moments in favor of concentrating on Anakin’s body language in the Council scene is missing the forest for its trees, IMHO.

But something the Jedi-Positive segment of fandom does that bothers me is insistently push this theory that Mace’s characterization is due to Anakin being an unreliable narrator, and this idea is proven false several times. First, early in the book, even Obi-Wan thinks to himself that Mace doesn’t like Anakin. Then we get a scene of Palps during a private meeting with Anakin basically saying, “Wow, Master Windu sure sucks, doesn’t he?”, and Anakin not disagreeing. There’s also a memory Anakin has of Mace getting pissed off at 12yo Anakin for another Padawan referring to Anakin as the Chosen One, and another scene of Mace Windu trying to spy on Anakin to see if he’s doing a good enough job of training the younglings, and another scene of Anakin making a fool out of Mace by pretending their communication line is breaking up, and it’s very clear the reader is supposed to be on Anakin’s side.

Crucially, what we’re missing is a scene proving Anakin is an unreliable narrator and showing us that Mace is a good Jedi that just doesn’t like Anakin, or that it’s not even that he dislikes Anakin, but is just fucking tired and stressed out because of the war. But we never get that. We just get perpetually angry and irritated Mace Windu who immediately supports Palpatine’s decision to send Padawans out to the front lines—which Obi-Wan objects to, and Mace overrules him. This is an extremely unflattering portrayal of Mace that is deliberately written to be so, and I don’t see the point of pretending otherwise. There’s no unreliable narrator here—Mike Chen believes the Jedi weren’t ever fully onboard with training Anakin and never truly wanted him around and uses Mace’s character to convey that point. I don’t like it, but it is what it is.

All that being said, if you like Anakin and you want to see more of his bond with Obi-Wan, or cute moments with him mentoring the Jedi younglings, or cute moments with him and Padme going on undercover dates, this is the book for you. Mike Chen very clearly loves Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, and the Anidala ship, and tries to write each of them at their best but still with room to grow. It’s evidently he loves these three but still has awareness of their flaws and wants to examine what makes them tick.

My review would be that Brotherhood is a 4/5 book, with the point being deducted because of Mace’s treatment, but other readers who don’t enjoy him that much probably won’t have that issue.

Also, paging @fleetstreetfatality, our resident expert on Brotherhood, see if they want to make any contributions or confirm or refute any of my points. Fire away!

[marimitozpen]

how to find a family and yourself, too

Summary: He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is.

Or, Zoro realizes he is not as cis as he thinks he is, and that the crew doesn’t care, and that he really loves his family.

★★★★★★★★★★

Hi! This fic was originally uploaded to ao3 exactly two years ago today, and in honor of its second birthday I wanted to crosspost to tumblr. This is the only fic I've ever uploaded, and I wrote it as a way to process the fact that I am agender. A lot of Zoro's thoughts and feelings are based on my own. I know there's not a market for agender Zoro, but I know that this fic helped people from my ao3 comments. The original fic is under a different name, and I went through and edited this one before crossposting, because I have improved over the past two years. Anyways, enjoy!

*slight spoilers up to and including fishman island*

★★★★★★★★★★

The first time it happens, Zoro is ten years old.

The day isn’t going well, anyways. Zoro has been training tirelessly at the Isshin Dojo for an entire year already, dedicating all he has into finally defeating Kuina. She is his last obstacle, and just that day, she had beaten him in their 2,000th match. 2,000 times, Zoro had taken up the bamboo swords, and 2,000 times Kuina had struck him down. She’s still so far away, this unreachable pillar that Zoro just can’t defeat, no matter how hard he tries. Zoro is at his wits end, trying to understand how he is ever going to get out of this dojo, how he is ever going to move forward.

It’s hopeless, really. How could Zoro ever hope to become the greatest when he can’t even defeat the girl in front of him?

So, he takes up his swords, real ones made of steel and sharp enough to slice anything, and challenges Kuina. He finds her outside, sitting by the side of the road, and starts yelling. “I plan to make this our last fight, I’m going to end this! Fight me with a real sword!”

It is exhilarating , the most exciting thing in Zoro’s short life up to this point. Bamboo swords and sparring do not compare to the thrill of putting your life on the line, the danger of getting hurt for real, the scent of steel and sparks in the air. Kuina is just as difficult to defeat as ever, always faster or stronger than him. Zoro’s arms ache from the weight of the swords, and Kuina teases him, and she still manages to toss him in the air like a ragdoll. Their 2,001st match; Zoro’s 2,001st loss. The weight of the defeat is crushing, and as much as Zoro doesn’t want to, he starts to tear up.

But then, for reasons Zoro just can not understand, Kuina tells him that he shouldn’t cry. She tells him that eventually, just because she is a girl, she will start to get weaker. That she won’t be taken seriously. That just because of her gender, she can never be the strongest .

It makes Zoro feel a lot of emotions, a lot of which he can’t really decipher right now. If Kuina is giving up on being the greatest for some stupid reason like being a girl, where does that leave Zoro? All of his training so far has been just to defeat her, and here she is, saying she was just going to lose someday. What about all of this strength I’ve worked for? Zoro thinks. What about the strength you worked for? Does it all just disappear, because you grew up and that makes you weaker?

There was something else, too, something a lot harder to put words to. Just as Kuina is accepting defeat because she was a girl, she’s basically telling Zoro that he’s destined to win because he was a man. He’s everything she wishes she was, born to be stronger and faster and naturally more talented, and Zoro just can’t stand it. It feels like an unbelievable weight on his shoulders, just another thing he has to work for and grow into. Who says I have to be a man like that? Why does it matter? None of this matters, just our training!

Zoro finally gives Kuina a piece of his mind, yelling about the things that were easier for him to understand. He tells her that when the day comes that he finally beats her, it will be because he worked for it and earned his own strength, not because of her gender. And that she can’t just give up on being the greatest, because he is going to surpass her. Kuina smiles at him, and under the moonlight, they make a promise. One of us will become the world’s greatest swordsman.

Zoro gets everything out that night, but he still goes to bed feeling like something was wrong. But how could he explain the sinking feeling in his stomach, the gut instinct that Kuina was wrong? He’s already gotten her to agree that her strength and training were more important than something like her gender, so why does he still feel so odd?

She just… told me I was a man. I never thought about it until now, but am I? What does that mean? Does that mean beating Kuina, becoming the strongest? Zoro’s thoughts run wild for a minute, and he lets them, before he thinks about how swordsmanship was mind as well as body. Whatever was happening, it didn’t matter, it was just a bump in the road. He just decides that Kuina was what made a man, that if gender matters so much, he’ll just earn his when he beats her. It’s simple enough, and Zoro finally drifts to sleep.

He never gets the chance to beat Kuina. The next day, his world comes crashing down. Kuina had died, slipped down the stairs and away. Forever out of Zoro’s reach.

It was really, really hard to accept for a long, long time. Zoro throws himself into his training, trying to ignore the way he could still see her out of the corners of his eyes, focused only on becoming stronger so that he could live up to their promise. Zoro never settles for anything less than the best, and now he has to carry Kuina’s dream, too.

Kuina’s father hands over her sword, and it feels heavy with expectation but perfectly balanced in Zoro’s small hands. Carrying along Kuina’s legacy was still difficult sometimes, but sometimes he feels like having someone there with him makes it easier. Zoro pushes forward, both striving to surpass Kuina and to bring her along with him.

Zoro doesn’t think about his weird feelings from that night again for a long time. It’s easy to ignore in the monotony of the dojo – he doesn’t stand out from the other kids in anything but strength. They all wear the same uniforms, sleep in piles on the floor, train and live and fight together. Zoro pushes himself a little beyond what was reasonable sometimes, but that’s all just training to become the strongest. Some days, the pressure he feels is so overwhelming that every “he” he hears stings, but that’s okay. He can ignore it.

He supposes he becomes a man somewhere along the way, begrudgingly accepting the role as if it was some new expectation he needed to rise to. He never questioned why it was that way, just that it was. It's just some truth of the world: the sea is blue, his hair is green, and men just have to pretend to know what being a man is. He doesn’t get to seriously question it again until nine years later, when Zoro finds himself as one member of a two-member pirate crew, sailing away from a Marine base and on to something new.

----------

Zoro wakes up to Luffy singing, loud and bright and right in Zoro’s ear. Zoro doesn’t regret joining up, because he can tell this kid is going to take him far, but he also really wants to sleep right now. He’s not made of rubber, he can’t just bounce back into place after being injured the way his new captain can. Zoro cracks one eye open and turns his head in Luffy’s direction, intent on giving the younger boy a piece of his mind.

Instead, his eyes fall on Luffy’s chest. Luffy’s vest is open, and there are two long, thin cuts on either side of his chest. They look old, already healed, but Zoro still panics.

“Luffy, your chest! Did you get hurt back at the Marine base? Why didn’t you tell anyone!” he shouts, sitting up as quickly as he can.

Luffy just cocks his head, looking terribly confused. Then, as if a lightbulb has gone off in his head, he smiles. “Oh, are you talking about my scars?”

Zoro nods, swallowing. Those scars look painful , and Zoro is kinda shocked that Luffy is being so nonchalant about all of this. He is pulled out of his thoughts by laughter.

“I got surgery a year ago! Pretty cool, right? I told Gramps I wouldn’t become a Marine unless I got it, so he paid for me to have surgery, then I became a pirate anyways. I sure showed him, huh?”

Zoro’s head is spinning. He doesn’t know who Gramps is or why he wanted Luffy to become a Marine, and he still doesn’t know why Luffy got this surgery. His confusion must be clear on his face, because Luffy starts explaining again.

“Are you confused on why I got the surgery?” he asks gently. Zoro nods.

“It’s cause I’m trans!” Luffy announces with a grin. “Do you know what that is?”

Zoro shakes his head at that. Is this something I should know? he thinks, but Luffy is quick to dispel his worry.

“Don’t worry, lots of people don’t know! I didn’t even know for a long time. Basically, it means I wasn’t born as a boy. My brain and my heart always said I was a boy, even though my body didn’t. So I had to change my body to match.”

Luffy’s explanation makes sense to Zoro, but he still feels confused, although for a different reason. Not born as a boy…  Zoro just didn’t know that was something that could happen. He is silent for a long time, and Luffy just starts humming beside him. Zoro thinks he might recognize the tune.

After a long time, Luffy finally speaks up again. “Zoro, you’re… okay with it, right?”

Zoro startles a bit, then processes Luffy’s question. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

Luffy shrugs, one hand playing with the brim of his straw hat. “I dunno… it’s just that some people aren’t. You went all silent on me, I didn’t know what you were thinking.”

Zoro smiles at Luffy. It’s weird, because smiles used to be rare for Zoro, but it seems like his captain is able to draw them out of him so easily. “It’s okay, captain. I was just thinking about something else.”

Luffy laughs again. The sun is dipping lower on the horizon, washing their boat in shades of orange and purple, but Luffy’s face is as bright as the sun. “That’s good, cause I would’ve had to fight you if you weren’t okay with it.” He sways a little where he sits, coming to rest with his head on Zoro’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna fight my crew. That’s not what nakama’s for.”

Zoro just looks ahead, still deep in thought. He is vaguely aware of Luffy falling asleep on his shoulder, but for some reason, he doesn’t push the boy off. He just sits, thinking. Not born as a man… so how did you know, then? Did someone tell you that you were a man, just like Kuina told me?

What does all of this mean? I never just… felt like a man, I had to make myself feel like one. So am I a woman, then? Is that an option? Zoro’s racing mind halts for a second as he considers this train of thought. He snorts as he realizes how stupid it is. Okay, definitely not a woman. I guess this is what Luffy felt, then. Just not a woman.

It all starts to make a little more sense to Zoro. If all it takes to be a man is just not being a woman, then Zoro has that down pat. The rest will be easy. And yet, Zoro still feels strange. It feels like a door is opening up to him. Something is starting to change, and he can’t tell what yet.

----------

Zoro hates Sanji the moment he sets eyes on him. The cook is pretentious, starting a fight with a Marine over some soup, and Zoro can’t stand how preachy Sanji is. Then, he starts getting all flirty with Nami, which also pisses Zoro off. This Sanji guy is a real idiot, and if Zoro didn’t respect Luffy so much, he would be really worried about this guy joining the crew.

But there’s something else about Sanji that irks Zoro, something he can’t quite put his finger on. He could go on for days about how Sanji is loud, and rude, and stuck-up, and stupid; but it feels like Zoro is skirting around some other issue. Luffy and Zoro are just as loud and rude, and according to Nami they’re even dumber than Sanji. Most of these qualities don’t even bother Zoro, so why does Sanji just have this way of pushing all of Zoro’s buttons?

After a few weeks and a few run-ins with death (and a very valuable reality check for Zoro), Zoro begrudgingly accepts Sanji’s presence on the crew. He has to admit, the other man is damn good in a fight, both as an ally and as an opponent. He’s also a very, very good cook, but Zoro would never tell him that. He doesn’t need Sanji’s ego getting any bigger, the thing is already threatening to sink the Merry. 

But Sanji still pisses Zoro off to no end.

The two of them get along like a house on fire. They will argue about anything and everything, much to Luffy’s amusement and Nami and Usopp’s chagrin. Zoro will insult the cook’s stupid eyebrows and Sanji will insult Zoro’s unusual hair color, and they will exchange blows just as often as they have each other’s backs. It makes things slightly tense, but still interesting.

Sanji is everything Zoro hates about men, Zoro realizes one day. He is cocky and rude and he pushes himself onto women, he is over-the-top and annoying and oh so performative. Zoro can’t stand him, because he’s everything Zoro’s not and he’s everything Zoro doesn’t ever want to be and he’s so damn loud about it.

This realization does absolutely nothing to remedy Zoro and Sanji’s relationship. Zoro is not only mad at Sanji at this point, he’s just as mad at himself for realizing what Sanji is and what he’s doing and feeling threatened by it. Seriously, Zoro has no reason to be questioning himself right now, and yet Sanji just manages to get under his skin and make him actually think. Zoro doesn’t like thinking all that much, he much prefers actions.

It makes Zoro wonder why Sanji is like this and how exactly his masculinity or whatever has the power to make Zoro so mad. It has Zoro questioning his own masculinity, because he is so different from Sanji so how can he be sure he’s doing it right? It makes Zoro think about his place on the crew, because it used to be easy; there was Luffy, the captain; then Zoro, then Usopp and Nami. Now there’s Sanji, and he has the potential to be Zoro’s equal in terms of strength, and Zoro just feels so strange about all of this. 

Zoro deals with it the way he deals with all of his non-physical problems: he ignores it. If Zoro can’t slice through a problem, it simply can’t be solved, from his point of view. Not that he doesn’t try slicing through Sanji, but the cook is quick enough to put up a fight. And besides, Luffy would probably be pretty upset if Zoro hurt or killed his beloved cook. 

The two of them continue to fight, and Zoro might even be starting more fights on purpose now, because he’s just angry with himself and Sanji and what better way to take it out? Eventually Nami puts some sort of stop on it and gives them both a stern talking-to, but that’s only because Sanji can’t say no to her and she’s threatening to raise Zoro’s debt if he keeps starting unnecessary fights. This doesn’t end the fighting entirely, not by a long shot, but at least some semblance of peace returns to their small ship. If Sanji were gone , Zoro thinks, peace could return entirely. But unfortunately, Sanji is there to stay, and he is there to be a thorn in Zoro’s side for the entire rest of their journey.

----------

Zoro did not expect to be literally facing his past when he woke up this morning and departed the ship to explore Loguetown, but here he is. Staring into the face of a dead girl who is shouting words at him that he hasn’t heard in almost a decade, and Zoro just feels so many things he might not be able to handle it.

Tashigi has been popping up around Zoro all day; he saw her on the street and accidentally broke her glasses, she dragged him to the Marine base for chores, he escaped but met her again at the swords shop, she finally recognized him and chased him down. And here they are, standing in the rain, as she taunts him.

As if it weren’t bad enough that she’s forcing her stupid ideal of justice on him, insulting his bond with his sword because he’s a “criminal” or whatever, Tashigi starts repeating the words that Kuina shouted that day all those years ago. She seems insulted that Zoro isn’t taking her seriously, interprets it not as an offense to her own skill, but an attack on her gender. Kuina’s face and Kuina’s words… it’s all too much for Zoro.

“Is it because I’m a woman?” Tashigi screams. “You view me as weak, you won’t finish me off! Take me seriously! You don’t understand what it’s like, to wish you were born a boy!” She’s so loud and so pushy and Zoro finally just snaps. He whirls around and starts yelling back, even though he knows it’s childish.

“Everything about you pisses me off! You have the same face as my close friend who died years ago, and then you start shouting the same things as she does! Give me a break, you copycat!” Zoro breathes in, and Tashigi starts arguing back, but Zoro continues. “I’ll tell you what I told her; your gender has nothing to do with it, only your skill and mine. And if I didn’t take you seriously, take that as an offense to your skill, because I held back because you were weak! Don’t blame it on gender!”

Tashigi just stands there, staring at him. It’s clear she’s never been talked to like this; her jaw is hanging open and Zoro is pretty sure that there’s tears mixing in with the rain on her cheeks. He scowls at her, then turns back to go find his captain, leaving her in the dust.

Later, when Zoro is back on the ship, he starts to think a bit more about what Tashigi said. It brings back everything from the night of Kuina’s death; the confusion and the anger and the weird, unplaceable feeling that Zoro was sure he suppressed but is coming back to rear its ugly head. What is it about swordswomen and their ability to shake me up like this? Zoro thinks to himself, allowing himself to just wallow in his confusion for a few seconds. He then stands up, shakes himself off, and decides he must become stronger, so he can get past this stupid gender stuff.

Of course, he can’t fully relax yet, because Nami is approaching. “Thinking over there, Zoro? I don’t see you doing that often,” she teases. Zoro flips her off. 

“Awww, c’mon, don’t be like that. Tell me everything! I’m a great problem solver, you know.” She encourages as she sits down on the deck and pulls Zoro down next to her. And Zoro really doesn’t want to tell her anything, but… they’re cooped up on a ship and Nami is the only woman here so maybe she will at least have some perspective on this whole thing?

“I just got in a really weird fight today, with one of the Marines. After I defeated her she started yelling about how I wasn’t taking her seriously just because she’s a woman. It reminded me of my childhood friend, she used to say the same thing. It’s strange, because I don’t think about who my opponent is when I fight them, only their skill.” Zoro explains. His voice sounds weak and it hits Zoro that this is really stupid, but he’s already said it so there’s not much he can do now.

Nami hums as she thinks. “Well, she’s probably feeling insecure a little bit. All women are used to being underestimated. Some of us, like me,” Nami accentuates her statement by pointing to herself, “like to use it to our advantage. I’ve got Sanji-kun wrapped around my finger, you know? Just because I’m a girl.” She pauses, then looks at Zoro before starting her next point.

“Well, I guess some women don’t view it the same way. They want to be seen as equals, instead of having to constantly prove themselves by exceeding expectations. I guess that Marine and your friend are both like that, they see that you’re not taking them seriously and they think it’s because you’re underestimating them. But if it’s just because of their skill, like you say, then there’s not much you can do other than ignore them.” Nami pats his shoulder. “Got that, stupid?”

“Yeah,” Zoro grumbles, not rising to the bait for once. “Although Kuina, my friend… I never underestimated her. She was always stronger than me. I never once beat her in a fight.”

If Nami notices the use of past tense, she doesn’t comment on it. “I’m sure I would’ve liked her, if she could take you down a peg,” Nami laughs. She leaves a little while later, and Zoro is kinda glad he had this talk. He’s still a bit swamped by the weird feelings, but at least the other things are starting to make a little more sense.

----------

“Hey Robin, whatcha readin?”

The response from the crew is instantaneous. Everyone who is on deck, Zoro included, falls silent and stares. Zoro himself sits up from where he was sprawled across the deck to watch as his captain leans over Robin’s shoulder to inspect the book she has laying open on the table.

He thinks he heard about this happening once before, of Luffy showing an interest in Robin’s books, and that the crew had been just as shocked then. It’s just that books and Luffy… they don’t really go together. Luffy has been listening in to some of Robin’s story times and she is more than happy to read out loud for some of her younger crewmates, but it’s rare that Luffy is the one to show interest.

“Oh, it’s a book about different identities. It’s rather interesting, do you want me to read it to you?” Robin hardly seems phased by Luffy’s sudden interest, taking it in stride. She’s always happy to indulge her captain on his more tame shenanigans.

Luffy shakes his head. “Nah, the pictures just caught my attention.” At this, most of the crew lets out a collective sigh. Nami goes back to watering her flowers, and Usopp and Chopper start making noise on the upper deck again. Sanji prattles away in the kitchen and Franky stays below deck, neither of them having heard the initial question. Zoro wants to keep watching, for some reason. Luffy hooks his arm over Robin’s shoulder, fingers running across the page. “Like this one! The colors are pretty. What’s it mean?”

Robin smiles, and it is unlike the smiles Zoro has seen from her up to this point. “That flag represents transgender people, Captain. Do you know what that is?”

Now it is Luffy’s turn to smile, the toothy grin taking up his whole face. “Like me!” he exclaims cheerfully.

Robin looks shocked for a second before she reigns her expression in. Zoro thinks this is the first time he’s seen her smile with teeth. “I’m like that too, Captain,” she replies. “How funny that we should meet on this broad sea.”

Luffy is positively beaming at this point. He finally pulls up a chair and sits across from Robin. He is gesturing excitedly as he speaks, telling Robin it is so cool that they met and that he’s never met another person like himself before. Zoro smiles a little, in spite of himself. It’s nice to hear his captain so happy, and seeing Robin smiling fondly isn’t so bad either. He is about to drift back to sleep when Luffy is suddenly calling to him.

“Zoro, hey Zoro! You should come look too! This book is so cool, they have a flag for everything!” Zoro cracks one eye open to glare at his captain. Robin is giggling from behind her hand.

Zoro sighs. Yes, it’s nice that his captain is taking interest in a somewhat quiet activity, and that Robin is opening up a little too. But to be honest, Zoro has no interest in the book himself. He figures that nothing in there is going to apply to him, since he already realized he’s not like his captain or Robin.

“I think that the swordsman wants to sleep, Captain.” Oh, nice save Robin! Zoro makes a mental note to thank her later. Luffy protests a little, grumbling something about how all Zoro does is sleep, but he’s drawn back into the book when Robin flips the page.

“Robin, look, this one looks like Zoro,” Luffy comments. Robin agrees, telling him that those colors do look a lot like Zoro’s hair color and outfit. Zoro can still feel Luffy’s gaze on him, but he ignores it. He closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep for real, this time.

----------

Zoro wakes up in a bed in a room he does not recognize. Not that he’s never done that before, but it seems different this time. Zoro shouldn’t be here.

The last thing he remembers is running for his life. Zoro had been gravely injured, and there was an admiral and all these robots, and they really stood no chance…

The weird, spongy, not-earth of the Sabaody Archipelago is making it hard to run. Zoro’s legs ache and he’s sure he’s reopened several of his wounds. It took a serious joint effort just to take down that one Kuma robot, and Zoro isn’t honestly sure he has it in him to take on any more. He hates feeling so weak, but of course he couldn’t have changed the outcome of Thriller Bark. Zoro would gladly do it again to save his captain.

Still, this is a very bad situation, and no time for reminiscing. Zoro has crewmates to protect, and he has robots to escape. Of course, it is then that the real Kuma shows up. He quips about Zoro still being alive, and Zoro gives him the best answer he can in the moment. Of course, he does owe Kuma in a way, but the man still poses a huge threat.

Zoro’s lungs ache and his legs are about to give out. His arms are weak, he can’t do anything to save himself. He is aware of people yelling, trying to save him, but it’s too late. Kuma raises one huge, ungloved paw and swings it. Zoro’s world fades away immediately.

That’s the last thing Zoro remembers, so how the hell did he get here? He can feel bandages covering his skin, but they are not wrapped with the professionalism and care that Chopper’s usually are, which tells him that he’s no longer with his crewmates. He wonders what happened to them and starts panicking, bolting out of bed to start taking in his surroundings.

Then, he sees her out of the corner of his eye. The weird ghost girl from Thriller Bark, what was her name again? Perfume, or something?

“It’s Perona, you dumbass!” she shouts. Oh, so Zoro said that out loud then.

She explains to him that he came down in a bubble and how it was part of Kuma’s power. She doesn’t know where they are, but she bandaged him up the best she could, and he really needs to wait and rest before he does anything stupid. 

Zoro doesn’t listen, of course. He’s not so weak and helpless that he can just lay in bed when his crew probably needs him, when his captain probably needs him. He just keeps going out and getting into fights with the weird monkeys that inhabit the island, pissing Perona off and injuring himself further.

A few days later, Mihawk shows up to tell Zoro about the war, and this is probably the worst Zoro has ever felt. To think, while he was out here unable to defeat some stupid baboons, his captain was fighting in a war and losing his only brother in such a horrific way. Zoro is useless, useless, useless, and he’s so weak it hurts.

Then he gets the orders: stay where you are. You have two years. Get stronger. It’s painful, but it’s simple and it’s what needs to be done. It makes Zoro’s heart ache that he can’t be there to comfort his captain, but he quickly decides that he will spend these two years getting stronger so that he won’t miss this kind of situation again. Better yet, there won’t be one at all. After some begging, Mihawk agrees to take him in, and Zoro throws himself into his training. 

It is slightly reminiscent of his time at the dojo. At the time, Zoro’s need to become the strongest was so that he could carry on Kuina’s will and achieve their dream. But now, Zoro has people, a family , he wants to protect. The training is grueling and bloody and mind-numbing, and Zoro wouldn’t have it any other way. He loses sight of everything other than his goal and his crew, the two things he is doing everything for. Two years, and Zoro will be strong enough so that nothing has to happen to hurt the Straw Hats again.

----------

Zoro has to admit, being back with the crew after two years of separation is really, really nice. Two years apart was far too long. He had missed everyone, even that stupid cook, and he missed being on the ocean. He understands why they spent two years apart, and everyone is much stronger for it, but he is glad that those years are behind them.

Just making it off of Sabaody was an ordeal. Luffy manages to attract trouble everywhere he goes, though, so the crew is used to this. Zoro almost missed the nonstop action and the daily near-death experiences, but action is not the only part of a pirate’s life. Zoro loves just being on the Sunny, surrounded by his crew – his family – exchanging stories about their training over the past two years.

Zoro learns where everyone spent their two years: Luffy trained with Rayleigh, Chopper mastered all of his forms and learned a lot about medicine, Brook went on tour but still managed to strengthen his skills. Robin mentions something about staying with Luffy’s family in the Revolutionary Army, and it seems innocent enough except for the fact that Robin is wearing her “I know something you don’t” smile. It’s easily brushed off though, because Robin says she can’t share classified information. 

Zoro is not really one to give praise, but he does compliment Usopp for surviving two years on an island that was literally trying to eat him. Seriously, Usopp has developed a lot since Zoro last saw him, and he seems a lot more confident than the insecure liar they picked up in Syrup Village so long ago.

Everyone seems a lot more confident, actually. Robin is smiling much more, Chopper is so much more enthusiastic than he’s ever been, and the cook seems weirdly relaxed for once. Zoro hadn’t noticed it much in Sabaody, but the cook seems… different, somehow. He isn’t quite as pushy as he had been in the past, and his mere presence isn’t aggravating Zoro the way it used to. 

Zoro gets his explanation soon enough. Sanji is second to last to share his adventures from the last two years, and he takes a shaky breath before doing so. Robin, sitting next to Sanji, places one hand on his back and gives him an encouraging nod.

“I spent my two years on Momoiro Island.” Sanji starts. He is met with mostly blank stares, except from Nami, who raises her eyebrows. Sanji scans their reactions before he continues.

“So the island is home to a huge community of LGBT people, who wanted to create a place where they could exist without judgement. They’re led by Emporio Ivankov of the Revolutionary Army. I actually got to see Robin a few times over those years, because she visited the island on business once or twice. Ah, but that’s besides the point…”

Sanji trails off, still acting nervous. Luckily for him, Luffy interrupts. “I remember Iva-chan! He was so nice! Did he train you, Sanji?”

Sanji whips his head in Luffy’s direction so quickly that Zoro thinks it might fly off. “You think he was nice?”

“Yeah, he saved my life,” Luffy says matter-of-factly.

Sanji shakes his head. “That… doesn’t matter right now. Yes, he trained my cooking and my fighting abilities, but he also made me learn a lot more about myself. Like, that my views on the world and people in the LGBT community were really outdated. And… that I’m genderfluid.”

“Great for you, bro!” Franky congratulates, tears already forming in his eyes. “What does that mean, though?”

Sanji laughs, Franky’s antics lightening the mood for all of them. “I just don’t feel like a man all the time. Sometimes, I feel like a woman, or sometimes I feel like I’m somewhere in between. It changes all the time. Oh, and I use any pronouns now.”

Franky nods, and Usopp also nods along with one hand on his chin. “Right, I get it, but what are pronouns?” Usopp asks.

“It’s like he, she, they. You can use any of them to refer to me, just make sure to use all of them at different points. It’s not great if I’m hearing only ‘he’ all the time.”

Zoro can practically see the steam coming from Luffy’s ears as he processes this. Finally, Luffy speaks. “So, is it like, ‘this is Sanji, they are my cook, and they make the best food ever?’” he asks before looking between Sanji and Robin with an expectant look on his face. Robin giggles softly, and Sanji smiles.

“Yeah, just like that. Or ‘Sanji is my cook, she makes the best food ever.’ You can use any of them,” they assure their captain.

Luffy smiles wide and laughs. “Okay, I get it now! Thank you Sanji!”

After Luffy, everyone else offers thei support and congratulations. Nami, Robin, and Chopper each wrap Sanji up in a tight hug, while Brook and Usopp remind Sanji that he’s always a valued member of the crew. Franky continues crying because of how much strength it must have taken for Sanji to come out. 

Zoro… Zoro doesn’t really react. He nods at the cook when she looks his way, but Zoro doesn’t really know what to say. He’s confused, too, because he doesn’t really know what feeling like a man or woman is like, and he’s never even heard about that “somewhere in between” that Sanji was talking about earlier.

The rest of the crew moves on quickly. Zoro is the only one left who hasn’t shared his whereabouts, and he knows the crew will enjoy this. Not only was Zoro staying with and training under his greatest rival, but that ghost girl too. As expected, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper get a kick out of that. Zoro pushes his worries about Sanji’s coming out to the back of his mind and focuses on enjoying his time with his family before Luffy inevitably drags them into some mess again.

The descent to Sabaody takes forever; long enough for Sanji to prepare and serve dinner. It’s actually quite a meal, featuring each of the Straw Hats’ favorite dishes – meat on the bone, cheeseburgers, sandwiches, even rice balls for Zoro. It is great to be home, defending his food from Luffy’s sticky hands and dodging the peas that Usopp has been launching across the table. Dinners on the Sunny are no calm event, but Zoro loves it. He loves the chaos of it all.

Normally, Zoro is one of the first few out of the kitchen. He usually has something better to be doing like training, napping, or getting pulled into playing tag with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper. But Zoro has questions, about Sanji’s whole gender thing, and he can’t just ask that in front of everyone. Hell, it’s embarrassing enough to ask the cook about it. 

Zoro sits at the table long after he’s finished his dinner, even after everyone has left. He watches as the cook cleans up and washes dishes, ignoring Zoro’s stare the whole time. She doesn’t even try to start a fight, which is unusual, because usually if Zoro stares for that long it’s like asking for a shoe to the face.

Finally, Sanji has apparently had enough. The dishes are washed, dried, and put away. There is nothing else to do in the kitchen, so they turn to Zoro, planting their hands on the island bar and leaning over.

“I’ll bite, is there a reason why you’re watching me, marimo?” He starts. It carries the usual tone of annoyance, but maybe a little more. “This ain’t about earlier, is it? Better not be, cause I will–”

Zoro interrupts by shaking his head. “It’s not… Well, it’s not what you’re thinking. I just. I don’t get it,” he mumbles, staring down at the table in front of him, one hand coming up to play with his earrings the way he does when he’s stressed. He can still feel Sanji staring at him, and he waves his hand, gesturing at nothing. “The, uh, the gender thing. I’m having trouble understanding it. I want to understand it.” He looks up, meeting Sanji’s eyes. Sanji sighs.

“Ok, well which part don’t you get? I don’t really know how else to explain it, other than what I said earlier. Sometimes I feel like a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes in between.” Sanji starts. He speaks slowly, as if he were explaining this to a baby or something. Slightly annoying, but Zoro doesn’t push it.

Zoro furrows his brow, frustrated about the explanation, because it doesn’t really explain anything . At least, not the way Zoro needs. “That’s the thing! What the hell does feeling like a man feel like?”

Sanji falls quiet. “The hell do you mean?” Zoro can hear the usual burning edge to her words, the fight he’s used to. He doesn’t want to make Sanji mad, goddamnit, he wants to understand! Sanji takes an angry hit of their cigarette, blowing smoke in Zoro’s direction. Zoro glares back.

“I mean, how do you know when you’re a man? Since you’re other things sometimes, how do you tell the difference?”

“What’s this about, marimo?”

“Just.. Just answer the question! My reason doesn’t matter!”

“Okay, just… give me a minute, okay? It’s a weird ass question, you caught me off guard.” Zoro nods and leans back on the bench, satisfied for now. Sanji sits down on one of the barstools, spinning slowly as they think.

“I mean, to start off, did you know all this gender thing is fake?” Sanji speaks up after a moment, stopping so he is facing Zoro. “One of my, uh, friends? Yeah, one of my friends back in Kamabakka told me that everything we know about gender is just gender roles. It’s what we tell each gender they’re supposed to do or feel, not what gender actually is. Like, some people think women are just supposed to cook and clean and be quiet while men are supposed to go off and make money for the family. The way my old geezer raised me, women are better than men, and we’re supposed to protect and serve them in any way we can. It’s really different from person to person.”

Sanji pauses to take another hit as she continues. “Let's see… To me, being a man still feels more like responsibility. But there's more, too. Masculinity is loud and brash, it’s like a jungle or like the sea during a storm. The way my legs heat up when I do Diable Jambe, that feels manly too. But it’s different from when I feel like a woman; that’s all light and airy and stuff. It’s like helping Nami-san take care of her tangerines, or laughing with my crew and getting compliments on my food. Femininity is like caring for people, while masculinity is taking responsibility. And then there’s some times when it’s more than that… when I feel charged up and everything is uncertain but it doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like the early mornings when I’m the only one awake, or the moment before lightning strikes.” Sanji pauses, smiling, clearly patting themself on the back. “Eh, I’ve never had to think about how to describe it all before. I think Iva-san would be proud. That help at all, marimo?”

Zoro sits silent for a while, trying to take it all in. He’s never felt like… like a forest, or a storm, or like his legs are heating up. He had taken responsibility for things plenty of times, but it wasn’t related to his gender or anything, it was just what he had to do. There’s one thing that definitely stands out about Sanji’s descriptions, though.

“So, being a man, it doesn’t ever feel like you’re just performing it? It’s not like a job?” 

Sanji just… blinks at Zoro, then they stand up and start moving around the kitchen again. He pulls down a mug and starts brewing some tea. Zoro isn’t a big tea person, but he still understands the gesture.

“No, it doesn’t feel like a job.” Sanji finally says after filling the kettle and placing it on the stove. “It used to, though. Before I discovered all of this, and the possibility that I could just not be a man. You feel like it is?”

Zoro ignores Sanji’s gaze, suddenly very interested in the top of the dinner table. He knows Sanji understands, though, as she continues to talk. “I won’t press you, cause god knows I hated it when Iva-san did that to me. But just think about it, okay? There’s a lot out there, and the crew won’t care, you saw them today.” Sanji pauses to place the mug of tea in front of Zoro. “I won’t tell anyone either. But don’t start expecting me to be nice to you or anything! We’re still enemies!” 

Zoro grins. He knows that he and Sanji aren’t really enemies, they haven’t been in a long time. Sanji learning to accept themself had helped the both of them a lot, and they’re closer to friends at this point. Sanji knows it too, but they have reputations to keep! Still, it’s pretty nice. Sanji doesn’t treat Zoro like it’s anything weird or shameful, he just understands and explains and lets it be. She nods at Zoro, straightening up to leave the kitchen. “Oh, and you’re washing your own mug! Don’t get lost on the way to the cabinets, marimo!” she adds as an afterthought, ducking out of the doorway before Zoro can send him a glare. 

----------

 Zoro stands outside the door to Robin’s library, mug of tea in hand, for about ten minutes, just trying to work up the courage to enter. He feels so stupid, being scared to ask his crewmate to borrow a book. While talking with Sanji had helped, just a little, Zoro still has a lot of questions.

He is staring into his mug weighing his options and thinking that he might just come back tomorrow when Robin opens the door. She seems surprised to see him, almost dropping the book in her hands. As usual, she recovers gracefully, donning her usual closed-eye smile.

“My, it’s certainly rare to see you here, Swordsman-san. Is there something I can help you with?” she greets, holding the door open and beckoning Zoro inside.

“Uh, yeah, but if you were leaving–” Zoro tries to deflect. I’m not ready for this, he thinks. He hasn’t felt so uncertain in a long time.

“Oh, I insist!” Robin asserts. “It’s no trouble at all. What can I help you with?”

Zoro looks up at her, at her kind eyes and non-judgemental smile. He knows that Sanji was right last night when they told him that the crew wouldn’t mind if Zoro ended up not being a man. He knows that Robin, especially, wouldn’t mind. He recalls a day from two years ago, when Luffy had suddenly found interest in the book Robin was reading and she had confessed she was transgender as well. That moment had felt so inconsequential back then; it was just another instance of Zoro’s captain and crew bonding. But today, it feels like a lifeline.

Zoro takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Yeah, actually, I was looking for a book. I don’t know the name though.”

“That’s no problem at all. Do you know what kind of book it is?” Robin asks. 

Zoro scratches at the back of his head. “Uh, yeah. Do you remember that book you and Luffy were reading a couple years ago? He just wanted to look at the pictures, though, I think.”

Robin brings one hand up to hide her lips as she takes a tiny gasp. “Yes, I know exactly which book you’re talking about. Let me go pull it down for you.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulders as she walks away, gesturing at the benches that surround the library. “You can take a seat, if you want. I can leave you alone, too. I’ll just continue my own reading.”

Zoro sits and nods, feeling a little overwhelmed. He hadn’t planned on telling Robin why he was here, exactly, but Robin knows everything anyways and he does find her company to be very comforting. Robin is something like what Zoro imagines an older sister might be like.

“I, uh. I think I would like that, but…” Zoro is unsure of what he’s asking, letting his voice drop out as he continues thinking.

“I’ll stay down here the whole time, if that’s what you want. And you can always ask for help.” Robin pats Zoro’s shoulder again as she passes him the book. “I’m just across the room, okay?”

Zoro is grateful, so grateful for Robin’s easy going nature. He shudders a bit as he opens the book, looking for the chapter on gender identities.

The first thing Zoro notices is just how many there are. There’s like, a thousand, each one with a different name and flag and description. It’s a lot for him to take in at once.

Breathe, Zoro, something in the back of his mind tells him. Just go through it one at a time. Zoro sighs. He already knows he isn’t trans the way that Luffy and Robin are, and he’s pretty sure he’s not genderfluid the way the cook is either. That narrows down his search, at least a little.

As Zoro flips through the pages, he just finds himself feeling more and more lost and frustrated. All these terms are swimming around in his head. And to make matters worse, a lot of them seem to rely on what a person is already feeling. Zoro… Zoro doesn’t actually know what he’s feeling. He’s had this vague notion that he wasn’t quite a man for a long time, but he’s also been acting as one for long enough that it still feels like part of him. He’s getting tempted to just slam the book closed and call it a night, but he really doesn’t want to find out what happens if he mistreats Robin’s books. He has a feeling it won’t be pretty.

“Are you doing alright over there, Swordsman-san?” Robin calls, momentarily stirring Zoro from his thoughts. She has worry written all over her face. “You seem a bit frustrated.”

“I am, but I’m okay.” Zoro reassures her as he continues reading. Then, he hits upon the definition.

Agender , the book reads. A person who feels a lack of a gender identity, or does not feel a strong relation to any gender identity. An absence of gender.

There is a second paragraph below, from an agender person describing how they feel about their own identity. It was really hard for me to figure out for a long time, the author starts , because I just didn’t want to face it. I was comfortable enough living with my own assigned gender. But whenever I think of myself and the words I would use to describe myself, my gender isn’t one of them. I was raised one way, sure, but that is as far as the connection goes. I don’t feel like a man or a woman, I just feel like me.

Zoro chokes on his breath. He studies the image of the flag next to it, and another memory from two years ago pops up in his head. “This flag looks like Zoro,” Luffy had said, and Robin agreed because of the colors. The agender flag has green, white, and black stripes. This is the flag that matched him two years ago, and now with the definition…

Zoro breathes in quickly. His heart is racing, hammering against his ribcage like a drum. He thinks back to what Sanji told him earlier, about sometimes feeling like more than a man or a woman. Zoro hadn’t understood it then, still doesn’t really grasp it. But he knows that he doesn’t feel what Sanji was describing. But if nothing is an option…

When Zoro tries to think about his gender identity, it is just his role as a man. He does what men do because that’s how he was raised, that’s what everyone told him to be. That’s his only connection to it. If he thinks any further than that… there’s nothing. He’s always just felt like Zoro , not Zoro the man or Zoro the woman or Zoro the anything else. Just Zoro, nothing more.

Agender. It certainly seems to fit.

And that thought is so world-changing, so scary, so new that Zoro doesn’t know how to handle it. Consequences be damned, he shuts the book quickly and tosses it onto the table, rushing out of the library. Robin stands up and calls after him, but Zoro just ignores her. All he wants to do is run, run away to when things were simpler, when he didn’t have to think about being different. He hurries into the boy’s room and huddles in his bunk, ignoring his crew for the rest of the night.

----------

Fishman Island is a disaster, of course, complete with princesses, some of Arlong’s disciples, and some very valuable revelations about the Poneglyphs for Robin. Zoro does his best to turn his brain off and focus on drinking the castle dry, eating delicious food prepared by the royal staff, and fighting. He ignores the whole gender issue. It wasn’t important for the first twenty-one years of Zoro’s life, so it can’t be that important now.

Sure, the realization that Zoro didn’t have to be a man was a weight off his shoulders. He didn’t have to “perform” if he wasn’t a man. But Zoro had almost gotten comfortable in the performance. He pretty much knew how to be a man. Why try to change things if they were working out already?

It becomes much harder to ignore after they resurface. Out on the open ocean, Zoro can’t rely on enemies to take his frustrations out on. He has to actually face this himself.

He’s especially irritable that day, mostly hiding in the bunk room and trying to nap. Zoro is usually very good at napping, but he can’t seem to calm his mind. No matter how much he tries to avoid thinking about it, the question of Zoro’s gender identity never leaves his mind.

He spots Robin and Sanji having a hushed discussion in the kitchen that afternoon. He just wanted a beer, because maybe the alcohol could push his thoughts back, but as soon as he enters the kitchen Robin and Sanji jump apart. Zoro doesn’t hear any of their discussion, but he has a pretty good idea what it might be about.

Luffy is the one to finally approach Zoro. He does it at night, when most of the crew has already gone to bed, except for Brook keeping watch in the crow’s nest. Zoro is leaning over the rail, flicking bottle caps over Sunny’s edge so he can watch them hit the water far below.

Luffy doesn’t say anything at first, just slowly walks up to Zoro and stands next to him. Zoro knows Luffy is watching him, analyzing him in that weird way he does. Luffy somehow knows things about people that they don’t yet know about themselves just from watching them, and usually Zoro really admires that, but he doesn’t want that knowing gaze turned on him. Especially not now.

But at the same time, it’s Luffy. Luffy who would never even dream of doing anything that might hurt his crew. Luffy, who sees the best in people, who has never judged his friends. Not when Nami claimed she was one of Arlong’s pirates, not when Robin was framed for shooting Iceburg, not when Usopp almost let his insecurities separate him from the crew. Luffy had nothing bad to say to Robin or Sanji when they came out, and he wouldn’t have anything bad to say to Zoro, either.

Zoro throws the last of his bottle caps overboard. There’s no way to avoid this. He sighs and sits down, back against the railing, and Luffy follows him down.

“What’s up, Zoro? Has something been on your mind?” Luffy starts.

“Luffy, how did you know you were a boy?” Zoro deflects. It doesn’t begin to address Zoro’s own issues, but he just needs to ease in for now.

Luffy looks a little surprised, but doesn’t push Zoro. “I actually always thought I was a boy. I didn’t know that my body was different to the other boys I knew, and I didn’t understand why people treated me differently when they met me. Everyone in the village called me a tomboy, so I thought I was a boy.” Luffy’s face softens for a moment, and he lets out a small laugh. “I really surprised Dadan and Ace the first time she tried to give us a bath. But when I told them I was a boy just like Ace, they didn’t push it, and they let me grow up as a boy.” Luffy trails off a little, but nods when he finishes his thought. He looks at Zoro again, and Zoro swears those eyes are seeing right through him. “Are you… questioning? Do you think you might not be a boy?” He asks, cutting straight through the bullshit and right to the core of Zoro’s problem.

All Zoro can do is nod weakly and stare at the floor. “I asked Sanji for help and she helped me a little, and I asked Robin to look at her books but it all just made me more frustrated. I don’t want to face myself, right now. It all just feels wrong.” Zoro’s face feels hot, he isn’t used to this kind of heart-to-heart and he’s starting to feel really embarrassed and–

Luffy reaches out, crossing the divide between them, and places his hand on Zoro’s. “You’re still the same Zoro you were before, right? Nothing’s gonna change, we’re just gonna see you as you.”

Zoro lifts his head up and stares at Luffy. He knows his jaw is hanging open, and he can’t bring himself to close it. Still the same Zoro… how does Luffy always know just the right thing to say?

“Do you want me to go get Robin’s book? We can look at it again, maybe I can help–”

Zoro shakes his head and smiles at Luffy. “No, it’s okay. I think I know which one I am. I was scared, though, about what it might change. I don’t want to change.”

Luffy laughs. “Nothing is going to change, Zoro. Well, hopefully you feel happier, cause you get to be who you really are. But that’s not scary, that’s a good thing!” Luffy’s eyes are bright and his hand is warm on Zoro’s.

“Yeah… happier, huh.” Zoro breathes out. He never really thought about what comes after his realization, but happiness… well that always sounds nice. Under the moonlight, with Luffy holding his hand and watching over him, Zoro is a little less scared to face himself and the truth that he has probably known this whole time.

“Well, Captain…” Zoro stops himself, clears his throat, and starts again. Right now, this is a conversation between friends, not captain and crew. “Well, Luffy… I’m not a boy. I’m agender.”

Luffy is on him in a second, wrapping him in a tight hug and threatening to knock them both overboard. Luffy is laughing and so is Zoro as they rearrange themselves to sit side-by-side, now looking out over the water.

“I’m proud of you, Zoro.” Luffy whispers, and Zoro feels warm in spite of himself. “So, do you know what this means from now on? Are you gonna change how we refer to you, like Sanji did?”

Zoro stills. He has been so caught up in denying everything, he never thought about what comes next. Slowly, he shakes his head. “I… I haven’t thought about it yet.”

“That’s okay! You can think about it now.” Luffy swings his legs over the side of the ship and leans into Zoro’s side. “Are you feeling better now? Do you wanna tell everyone soon?”

Zoro ponders it for a minute. He is feeling better, a lot better than when Luffy had found him. He knows the crew will be accepting, just like they were for Luffy and Robin and Sanji. If telling everyone can finally get this weight off of Zoro’s chest, he’s ready. He leans into Luffy, feeling the rough texture of the straw hat tickle his cheek. “Yeah, I think I’ll be ready soon. Thank you, Luffy.”

“It’s no problem, Zoro.”

Even after his talk with Luffy, the idea of coming out is still terrifying. Normally, the words “Zoro” and “scared” don’t even go in the same sentence. But there is something so much more real, more personal, about this. Zoro’s gender isn’t some enemy he can cut up. It’s him. And he’s trying to adjust to this new view of himself.

He talks to Robin first. He thanks her for letting him use her book, and apologizes for slamming it shut. He tells her how he knew that the term agender fit him, but that it freaked him out, and he tells her about his talk with Luffy. Robin is a patient listener, and she tells Zoro that she doesn’t blame him. “I figured that you saw something that fit you. I also had a hard time accepting myself. It’s normal to be unsure and afraid, but thank you for telling me.” She reassures.

His talk with Sanji isn’t as calm or patient, but it gets the job done. He thanks Sanji for helping him figure things out, using as few words as he can. Sanji teases back, but nothing she says is hurtful. They just acknowledge that Zoro feels differently, but there’s nothing to say about it, really. Zoro appreciates that sort of understanding.

Nami tells the crew that their next island is about three days away, provided that nothing gets in their way. Slim chance of nothing getting in their way, but Zoro is thankful to know. He spends three days getting comfortable. He tries out different pronouns in secret with Robin, Luffy, and Sanji, and he is pleased to realize that being referred to as “they” doesn’t feel as weird as he thought it would. 

Zoro finally tells the crew over dinner on the third day. Sanji made rice bowls; a giant pot of rice and three different kinds of meat as well as tons of veggies for the crew to choose from. Zoro loves rice bowls almost as much as rice balls, but he’s sure he never told Sanji that. Sanji doesn’t mention it, so Zoro doesn’t either.

Zoro had already told Luffy and Robin he was going to do it tonight, so they are sitting on either side of him. Luffy is playing with Zoro’s free hand under the table, waiting for Zoro’s signal to call attention to him.

Zoro nods at Luffy, signaling that he’s ready. Well, he’s not, but it’s now or never. Time to take the leap.

Luffy sets his silverware down and addresses the rest of the table. “Hey, everyone, Zoro has something to say. He’s nervous, so be nice.” The last sentence is teasing, and everyone knows it. They aren’t going to be mean to Zoro, and considering how similar his nervous energy was to Sanji’s just a few weeks ago, they have an inkling of what Zoro might need to tell them.

“I don’t know how to start this,” Zoro admits. Luffy takes off his hat and plops it down on Zoro’s head, and the gesture is so meaningful , it gives Zoro the push he needs. Zoro forges on ahead.

“Ok, uh, I guess it starts with the cook. A few days ago, when they came out, it uh… it kinda impacted me a lot too. I didn’t actually know that there was anything other than just man and woman, so it made me question a lot of things.” Sanji’s face looks weird; it’s red like she’s embarrassed but there’s a hint of… happiness? somewhere in there. Robin rubs Zoro’s back to encourage him.

“Well, once I knew I wasn’t just limited to being a man, it made a lot of things from my past make sense. I’ve never exactly felt like a man, I just did it because I thought it’s what I had to do. So what I’m saying is I’m not a man, I’m not really anything, in fact. I’m agender. No gender, just me.”

Luffy is smiling next to him and Robin and Chopper are both wrapping him in a hug. Nami teases Zoro about how emotional he’s become, but she’s proud of him too. So is everyone else. It’s a lot… but it’s still nice. Sanji just nods approvingly, and it reminds Zoro of how he reacted to Sanji’s coming out.

Before anyone else can ask Zoro, he speaks up again. “Oh, and for the pronoun thing. It’s he/they. Kinda like the cook’s, but no she.” Everyone nods and accepts it.

Zoro really, really loves their crew. They never thought they would reach this level of happiness, of acceptance. He supposes he should have known when Luffy accepted his dream without any argument, accepted everyone’s dreams no matter how crazy they were. Once Luffy declares someone as nakama , he is never letting go, and Zoro is so grateful that he chose to follow someone like that. They couldn’t dream of a life that was any different.

Zoro is feeling a bit awkward, so he’s glad when other conversations pick back up and dinner resumes. Usopp asks Zoro if this means they’re gonna be the world’s greatest swords person , and Zoro says that’s stupid, and the table fills with laughter. The night is still young and Zoro is surrounded by people they love and nothing has ever felt better.

[maddys-nerd-blog]

Maddy’s Top Five Favorite TMNT Episodes from Every Series!

Welcome to my ranking list! My first of many, hopefully! I even spiced things up and made it all fancy with the different font! 😂 god I’m getting old.

A while ago I made a PowerPoint presentation for fun about the history of the TMNT and the franchise. From that point it led to me gaining a spot in a YouTube video series discussing the movies leading up to the premier of Mutant Mayhem, and it’s been one of the best things to happen to me despite the terrible stuff I’ve gone through.

TMNT really saved me at the lowest point of my life in the winter of 2022. It inspired me to go back to Tumblr. I met and befriended incredibly talented people in this fandom. And I’ve found a reason to be happy again because of it. The pain of losing my big sister still aches, and I miss her more each passing day, but I know she’d tell me to get off my ass and do what made me happy.

So for my birthday this weekend, I’ll share this with you guys to celebrate something that brought me joy through all this pain. ❤️‍🩹

Let’s talk turtles! 💙💜❤️🧡

Lemme explain the criteria for this real fast;

The episode had to have come from a current/ up to date show. It has to be fully completed!

The episodes have to catch my interest and the plot needs to be gripping! The angstier the better!

Any of the series episodes are candidates for a win! Except for certain ones that I’d rather not watch 🤣

SPOILERS BEWARE! Cuz… well, I dunno who’s finished the shows and I don’t wanna ruin the surprise for others!

Also, this never would have been possible without @jadethest0ne for inspiring me! Thank you for all you do in the TMNT fandom, your art/ analyses are wonderful!!! Please go give them support!!

Onto the list proper! Starting with the series that started it all: 1987!

The Maltese Hamster ( Season 3 Ep. 4 ) An excellent Donatello solo episode that takes the tone of a detective noir movie, but keeping the fun vibe of the show! Donnie gets to take center stage for once, April gets to use a laser gun, and the shift in tone sets the mood really well! It’s downright harrowing to watch a building collapse on Donnie and see him limping away from the scene in agony, passing out at Irma’s feet, trying to save his brothers despite the odds. Donnie’s my favorite turtle for a reason!

Raphael Meets His Match ( Season 4 Ep. 17 ) The first appearance of Mona Lisa, and I can see why the fans adore this ship so much! The chemistry between Mona and Raph throughout this one episode is really telling of how impactful one character can be to a franchise! Mona is really fun! She’s not just a token ‘girl character’ trope or an archetype, she can handle herself and kick ass alongside the turtles, plus she and Raph have some pretty witty banter together!

Beware The Lotus ( Season 3 Ep. 28 ) The introduction of Lotus Blossom! It’s speculated that the inspiration for Karai came from Lotus! Lotus and Leo had great chemistry together, it's a shame we only got two episodes to spend with her. She really is an interesting character with loads of story potential about finding your place in the world, discovering who you are, changing your destiny to make it what you want. This is me basically saying I am now part of the Lotus Blossom Fan Club.

Cowabunga, Shredhead! ( Season 3 Ep. 18 ) This is one of the fan favorite episodes, and after I watched it for the first time I could not stop laughing. James Avery does his best Mikey impression while playing the over the top Shredder, and everyone just accepts it??? It’s downright genius! The meme material from this one is plentiful!

Michelangelo Meets Mondo Gecko ( Season 5 Ep. 4 ) The introduction of Mondo himself, and he’s got a really cool design! On first viewing I was pleasantly surprised by his unique color scheme and his character! He’s a bad guy that gets a redemption arc by the end of the episode! I was rooting for him the whole time! It was this debut that made me adore Mondo, and he’s since become my favorite mutant character of the franchise!

Honorable Mentions are Donatello’s Duplicate and Turtlemaniac!

Next up is a controversial one, but I gotta be honest… ‘03 isn’t my favorite series for a lot of reasons, but I will admit! When this series had fantastic episodes, they were AMAZING. So I gotta give credit when due and give kudos to these wins!

The Shredder Strikes Back Parts One and Two ( Season 1 Episodes 17-18 ) Nothing really tops how good this show was in the first season, and these episodes take the comic storyline of Leo’s beatdown and bring it to life masterfully. For Leo’s segments of part one it’s spent mostly with no dialogue— the animation and music carrying how serious the scene is as Leo has to fight for his life against the Foot and how desperate he becomes as he grows weaker and weaker. The second episode is non-stop action as the rest of the turtles, Splinter, April and Casey have to fend off the Foot and Shredder as they fight for their lives in the antique shop. This is one of Michael Sinterniklass’s BEST performances as Leo in these episodes. The stakes are higher than ever before, the animation is gorgeous, and everyone gives it their all for this epic mid-season finale.

Same As It Never Was ( Season 3 Ep. 21 ) This is the episode I would tell people to watch if they think TMNT is just kiddie trash.

Bad Blood ( Season 6 Ep. 12 ) Probably the Fast Forward concept I wish got expanded on instead of giving it two standalone stories and dropping it entirely. It’s a cool idea that I wish got touched upon more often because, yeah, what would evil clones of the turtles look like? What kind of abilities could they have? There’s infinite possibilities! I could live without the new catchphrase ‘It's Ninja Time’ though. While Fast Forward is flawed, this episode was the one I thoroughly liked!

Insane in the Membrane ( Season 4 Ep. 19 ) The infamously banned episode, and all I have to say about it is two words. Holy. Shit.

The Real World Part One ( Season 3 Ep. 22 ) Any team-up with Usagi Yojimbo is a good one, and this was such a delight! It’s loosely based on one of the Usagi stories from the comics, and I loved how badass they made both Usagi and Tomoe! Leo and Usagi have great chemistry as always, and you can tell they have a strong bond with one another as warriors! Or boyfriends depending on how you interpret their relationship but honestly I totally see where everyone is coming from, THESE TWO ARE ADORABLE DORKS.

Next up is my all-time favorite incarnation of the franchise, 2012!! I have A LOT to say about so many of the episodes but alas, I could only choose five to discuss. One day… one day I shall make a thesis about it 🤣 for now however, here’s my top five faves from this series!

The Yojimbo Trilogy ( Season 5 Episodes 7-9 ) Oh. My. God. YES. The love letter to Stan Sakai’s comics, the beautiful homage to vintage Japanese cinema with the camera framework and action, and OH MY LORD, THE COLORS AND SHADING DURING USAGI’S FIGHT WITH JAY IN THE FINALE???? THAT’S CINEMA! Excellent voice acting by Yuki Matsuzaki, which was his first English speaking role and personally chosen by Sakai himself to play the ronin rabbit! My only complaint is that I wish we’d gotten more of the Yojimbo characters in here, like Tomoe or Gen! Otherwise I can watch all three of these episodes on repeat and always get excited!

Lone Rat and Cubs ( Season 5 Ep. 10 ) The final appearance of Splinter, the episode Kevin Eastman wrote, and a beautiful send-off to this character. It’s a flashback, yes, but this is the episode we get to see Yoshi adapting to his mutation as a rat, raising his boys, trying to be a good father and struggling to survive from the Krang. It’s a part of his life we rarely ever get to see, and this episode shows us why he was a great father. Basically it's a try not to cry challenge. For me, THIS episode is the series finale because it’s just a perfect conclusion to Splinter and his story.

Requiem/Owari ( Season 4 Episodes 25-26 ) The finale to the overall series, the finale to this overarching story, and it’s just as heartbreaking and suspenseful as you’d expect. The writers don't hold back their punches, and it shows that the gloves have finally come off. The characters we’ve come to love and care for are at their breaking point, the Shredder is the most threatening he’s ever been, and the team decides it’s time to put the monster down for good. Whoever thinks this show was just ‘kiddie trash’ needs to be sat down and shown this two-parter, because GODDAMN. Ciro Nieli treated this with so much care and respect. I cannot help but adore the team who put this together because the stakes have been raised to an all-time high, and the final showdown between Shredder and the turtles here is hair-raising, all reaching its climax when Leonardo finishes Oroku Saki by beheading him. It’s powerful, it’s devastating, and it’s a damn excellent showcase of why this series was the best iteration of the franchise to date.

The Fourfold Trap ( Season 3 Ep. 23 ) Yet another homage to a horror movie, only this time it’s a lot more intense. Based on Saw, this episode makes you sit on the edge of your seat as you can only hope that the turtles will escape the traps Karai’s put them in. It’s all nerve wracking to watch on a first viewing experience, POOR DONNIE OH MY GOD, CAN WE STOP PUTTING THIS BOY IN ELECTROCUTION DEVICES???? He still manages to create a plan to save his brothers even while he’s being electrocuted! Also, SPLINTER IS BEST RAT DAD. This episode will teach you the meaning of ‘angsty dread’ and ‘overwhelming anxiety.’

Trans-Dimensional Turtles ( Season 4 Ep. 10 ) THE TURTLES FOREVER WE DESERVED BUT WE DIDN'T GET UNTIL CIRO NIELI HOOKED US UP WITH THE BEST CROSSOVER WE’VE EVER BEEN BLESSED WITH! The OG turtles are all so much fun to see again both in and out of 2D, Gilbert Godfried is always a delight, the 2012 turtles in traditional 2D animation is awesome, and ALL THE OG VOICE ACTORS ARE HERE AND CLEARLY HAVING THE TIMES OF THEIR LIVES. THE ROB PAULSEN JOKE IS LITERALLY A BLESSING XD I only wish it had been longer!

Honorable Mentions are Slash and Destroy, Pizza-Face, Within the Woods and Mutant Gangland!

And rounding it off is the last— but certainly not least— series, Rise!! I adore this one!! It’s right behind 2012 as my favorite TMNT series just for the stellar animation!! It’s such a shame that this one had to end so unfairly, but today I’m giving it the love it deserves!! Please note that I have yet to complete season two of ROTTMNT cuz my life has been crazy hectic and I haven’t had the time, but once I do, I’ll go back and update this section if I find more episodes I liked!

Raph’s Ride Along ( Season 2 Ep. 8A ) Ummmmmm the 2012 VA’s playing parody versions of their turtles as yokai criminals??? HELL YEAH. If only they got Astin to play a character though! Then we would’ve had a reverse Turtles Forever reunion! I came out of this episode really loving the Mud Dogz as characters and wanting more, especially Dastardly Danny cuz Rob Paulsen is always a win! Too bad this show got canned before we could really get to know these guys. BUT HEY! That’s what the fandom is for! 🤣

Insane in the Mama Train ( Season 1 Episode 25 ) When I watched this series blind, this episode blew my mind. Seeing something so well done had me screaming in joy with how expertly this episode was crafted. The stellar action choreography, the great comedic elements splashed in to lighten the tense mood, the ANIMATION OH MY LORD. Disney, take notes. And that ending leaves a pit in my stomach every time, like OOOOF, those expressions! That sudden tonal swap!

Mystic Library ( Season 1, Ep. 20A ) Probably my favorite comedy episode! The timing for the jokes in this one specifically is so well done, and every single one had me in tears. I’ve been trying to commit Donnie’s library rap to memory but alas, I’ve been failing.

The Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle ( Season 2 Episode 10B ) THIS. MORE OF THIS PRETTY PLEASE. It's just SO MUCH FUN. I really don’t have anything else to say other than this one is a great treat, also, the reanimated fan cut of this is spectacular!!

Snow Day ( Season 1 Ep. 23B ) This, for me, is the Christmas special of the series even though it’s in no way related to the holiday or has anything to do with it BUT I DON’T CARE LET ME DREAM. I love this one for the adorable interactions and the bonding! Seeing the characters goofing off and having fun, enjoying the weather and spending time together outside of the angst? I CRAVE FLUFF LIKE THIS.

And Tada! There it is! I hope you liked this!! It was tons of fun to compile all my favorite episodes into one project and share my thoughts! This fandom has been nothing but fantastic and I’m proud to be in it!

Thank you to all who have inspired me to keep going and pursue my dreams. You guys are great! @queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @wasted-and-ready @tmnt-tychou @mermmarie @figuringitoutasigoalong @lameboobah @zandiiangelspit @pumpkinpie59 @indieyuugure @angelicdavinci @imagine4000

And thank you to my IRL friends who have pulled me to my feet and supported me. Not only are you guys the best people I know, but I consider you guys family. You really saved me last year. I’m honored to call you my friends 💓

What are your favorite episodes?? Lemme know!! 😁 Maybe I’ll do a movie ranking next!

Cowabunga!! Have a great day!! 💚💚

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

episode of savanaclaw chapter 1: the importance of visuals in conveying character

ADDEDUM: Sorry if you experience weird formatting and/or see repeated paragraphs when viewing this post; for whatever reason, Tumblr gave me a really hard time editing, formatting, and saving this OTL It looks totally normal on my end, but I’ve heard from some people the post looks wonky to them 💦 I’m not sure how to fix it…

The turtlesoupscans team has the first chapter out! ^^ (This is also the scanlation from which I borrow the images used in this post!)

Something I noticed when taking a closer look at the Episode of Savanaclaw is that the new mangaka is really good at drawing eyelashes 👁 👄 👁 There were so many times when I actually made a full stop while reading to admire the eyes and the lashes on like. EVERYONE especially on L*ona. I really enjoy that aspect of the new artwork! (I don’t know if this is just me, but Leona’s tail and hair also seem much longer in the manga adaptation than in the game…?)

… OKAY I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW

I mentioned before that the manga has the advantage of using visual storytelling to help convey character in a way that the game can’t. I previously explored this concept as it applies to Cater’s general character in the Episode of Heartslabyul. But but but— (and I cannot stress this enough 😳) just from the first chapter alone, I think that the manga’s visual storytelling is going a long way to enhance episode 2.

So like in the game (2-6), there is a dorm leaders meeting in which they discuss the upcoming Magical Shift/Spelldrive tournament. It is here where Crowley suggests inducting Malleus into the Hall of Fame in order to take him off the field and give the other dorms a chance to shine. Leona interrupts and gives a brief speech about how doing that is admitting defeat before the game has even begun. He uses the story of the King of Beasts to remind his fellow dorm leaders that it is cunning, not brute strength or magical ability, that allowed him to triumph. This inspires the other dorm leaders to disallow Malleus from entering the Hall of Fame, as they all want to do their best to try and outwit him.

Now, there's nothing wrong with this scene in the game. It serves its purpose just fine. However, because of the game being a visual novel style, the story is mainly told via dialogue and 2D character models. The manga is able to greatly expand on this scene because it is not constrained to just dialogue and a few animations. Case in point, this:

In the manga adaptation of this scene, Leona gives basically the same points, but the art is a lot more dynamic. For example, when he first hears Crowley’s proposal, we get these shots which show us Leona’s obvious displeasure. There’s the slight frown, the ominous shadow over his face, and even a close up of his fingers laced together (a pose which already implies he’s a schemer):

Compare this to the limitations of Leona’s in-game model; he looks so obviously and overtly angry, which doesn’t sell him as a calculating character as well. Meanwhile, in the manga, you can still tell just how much the idea Crowley suggested has pissed Leona off, but the feelings come across on his face in a much more subtle way.

Then when manga!Leona begins his appeal proper, he physically STANDS UP from his seat at the table. This draws the other pairs of eyes in the room to him; you can see in the next panel that everyone, including Crowley, is looking at Leona. He commands the attention in the room.

Another small detail here is that manga!Leona slams a hand down on the table; previously, they were folded together. Without saying a word, you understand what this conveys: that, in addition to his intelligence, he also has power and influence in this situation, and he knows exactly how and when to use those boons to his advantage.

Actually, manga!Leona does a lot of small yet noteworthy things with his hands. Take, for instance, these next panels.

When bringing up the importance of using one’s brain, manga!Leona actually taps his head. In the game, Leona is limited to his general sprite where he lays a hand against his temple. This is the closest approximation to what the game can do to simulate that tap tap of the head, but it doesn’t really carry the full weight of the motion, especially not when paired with Leona’s annoyed in-game expression.

But then look at manga!Leona, who looks so smug and self-assured as he does the gesture. It really speaks to his own confidence—and, more importantly, we’re getting a more accurate image of what the other dorm leaders and Crowley are seeing. They’re witnessing Leona at the height of his strength, someone who uses his words to persuade and to inspire the downtrodden masses into following his lead and to make better lives for themselves. Leona now curls his hand into a fist—so now we’ve gone from the cunning laced fingers to the powerful slam of a hand on a table to a clenched fist, which, in this context, is meant to be encouraging and victorious.

Note that this is all a parallel to Leona’s Disney counterpart, Scar, who made promised the shunned hyenas a place in society. Said parallel is made even more apparent in the following page; manga!Leona literally raises his fist up, and there, right in the background, is the statue of Scar himself, haloed by sunlight, and clouds parted for him. Scar—and, by extension, Leona—appear almost “God-like” because of this deliberate composition.

At this point, Leona speaks about the King of Beasts’ great accomplishment: obtaining the crown through perseverance and wit, in spite of the odds being stacked against him. Look at how this page is framed; it’s nothing BUT Leona. He’s dominating not only the page itself, but also the discussion surrounding Malleus’s induction to the Hall of Fame. He is winning his audience over.

Again, the same lines play out in the game, but the impact just isn’t there. We just have a lot of Leona crossing his arms while looking mad and Leona with his hands on his hips. At best, he looks neutral or slightly bored by what he’s saying. At worst, maybe too angry or even pouting about the situation. It definitely doesn’t feel nearly as inspirational as him standing and raising a fist as he extols the values of the King of Beasts.

(Side note: why is Leona built like a god damn DORITO 🤡 Why’s his waist so TINY???? What is the purpose of that………………….. ….. …. . .:: … . … . . … . . .. . . this is not me simping THIS IS NOT I swear it’s not)

This next page characterizes Malleus more than it does Leona; Malleus is small here, shown with his back turned away, turning to “glance over his shoulder” at the others. This comes off as isolating, putting distance between himself, who is on such a high level, and his peers. It matches Leona’s dialogue, implying that Malleus truly is a “monster” out of their league, and they must find a clever solution to take that “monster” down.

Leona’s profile now shows slight signs of irritation right as he’s delivering the conclusion to his speech and thesis. His eyebrows are arched, he’s frowning, and he’s slightly looking down at the people he’s addressing. The tension here is palpable; you can feel the force behind his words, how strong his final statement is. It is the responsibility of everyone present at this table to find a way to defeat Malleus, not kneel over and accept defeat.

And the crazy thing is???? You can SEE in the faces of every single dorm leader how Leona’s words have affected them. You don’t need anyone to say a single word to understand what’s going through their heads. They’ve all been charmed. Look at how wide-eyed Kalim is, how Vil has his eyes narrowed (like he has realized something), Riddle is staring DIRECTLY at Leona (implied by an earlier page), and fuck Idia; the tablet’s screen tells us nothing Azul smiles knowingly.

We automatically know what the outcome is, and we know which way they will vote. This is conveyed so well, so clearly, that the manga doesn’t even bother to give us dialogue from the other dorm leaders opposing Crowley’s suggestion. The manga just immediately cuts away to a mob student being injured. (This is different than in the game, which had to show Vil, Riddle, Kalim, Idia, and Azul verbally agreeing with Leona to get the same message across.)

Anyway??? I had to get all of that out of my system 🤡 I just. Can’t get over???? How good the visual storytelling is for the manga adaptation??????

Entire lines from the original script could be scrubbed out and we still understand what is being said without them. So much character oozes off the page in the dynamic camera and composition. Scenes that I paid zero mind to in the game are sooo much more interesting when told through the manga, my eyes are glued onto the pages.

There’s so much nuance in the gorgeous artwork and the story that it’s trying to tell, and I think that’s a real testament to how talented the mangaka and the team behind Twisted Wonderland (the manga adaptation) are!! I’m by no means a fan of episode 2 of the main story, but 👀 the manga has definitely done a great job making Leona’s introduction to the audience memorable, and he feels like a much more charismatic and threatening “villain��� for this episode because of that.

[myslutwritings]

𓆩♡𓆪 Welcome to my blog 𓆩♡𓆪

Hello there:) my name is michelle and i’m 19 years old. i’ve been using tumblr for a long time now. I actually used to write but i stopped doing it awhile ago. however, i’ve decided to give it another try! I remember i stopped awhile ago because i wasn’t as passionate about it. plus, i wasn’t feeling so great and that was the very reason why i quit temporarily.

Currently, i am insanely hyperfixated on demon slayer! i’m mostly obsessed with the KNY demons so this blog is for my demon lovers/simps! i’ll be writing for only the demons because those are the ones i’m most passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, i adore all the characters endlessly but i can only see myself writing for the demons right now. So if that isn’t your preference then please kindly leave and don’t bother hating. As for my lovely demon lovers feel free to stay and send me requests in my inbox!

I’m still (sorta) new at this so my sincerest apologies if my writing/grammar is crappy in any shape or form!!

☆ Characters i will be writing for ☆

- Muzan kibutsuji

- Kokushibo

- Douma

- Akaza

- Hantengu clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, & Urogi)

- Gyutaro

- Daki

- Enmu

- Lady tamayo

- Nakime

〖 Rules 〗

-okay so just going over some basic ground rules because this part is required.

-please do NOT spam my inbox! it’ll just stress me out further and only compel me to not wanna write anymore.

-i will not do ships! (ex; character x character) only x readers! (ex: character x s/o)

-i prefer to do preferences/imagines/headcanons but i’ll do short stories(one shots) as well! however, those take more time to write.

-i will write about the ideas that get submitted that i like the most. please don’t take this in the wrong way but i’m only writing for what i know how to write about if that makes sense?

-also, minors aren’t allowed to interact with my NSFW posts.

-PLEASE SPECIFY WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU REQUEST! and please specify whether you’d like it to be NSFW or SFW.

-if i haven’t done your request please do not take it to heart! i only write for what i know how to write for, you know? i hope that makes sense!

-I will do my best to complete every request i get! It takes me time to write because unfortunately life gets in the way but please do not mistaken me for giving up! I will get it done in my own time.

-writing is a hobby of mine. something i want to do to help me relax and feel comforted. i’m not too keen on making it feel like a chore or a job i hate. i will write for whatever i want and do whichever request i feel motivated to write for. thank you!

➤ what i’m comfortable writing;

NSFW/SFW (i won’t be doing NSFW for Daki)

Fluff/Angst (I love writing these)

Violence (i’m okay with this jus nothin’ too crazy💀)

Yandere!Characters (Then again just nothing TOO crazy)

Gore (this is demon slayer we’re talking ab so gore is okay obv)

self harm (for comfort purposes only! i won’t be glamorizing/romanticizing it)

Poly relationships (ex: character x character x reader)

I will write for fem, male, trans & GN reader! (i want everyone to feel included, plus it’s fun to write for all)

i’ll also write for child!reader but only platonically.

I will not write full-on smut fics. (simply because i’m terrible at it and i have zero motivation for it) But i can do spicy scenarios or NSFW headcanons!

➤ what i’m NOT comfortable writing;

Pedophilia/underaged/incest (obviously💀)

Non-con/rape/SA/grooming

Suicide (i can write fluff fics where it’s only suicidal thoughts and the characters help the reader but that’s about it.)

pregnancy/birth giving (nothing wrong w it js makes me uncomfortable)

Mother or Father reader. I’m not the best at writing domestic stories like that.

non-sexual Age regression. (nothing wrong with it, it’s just not what i prefer to write about)

necrophilia/foot fetishes/age-play/vore/any weird kinks in general. (you get what i’m saying?)

Daddy kink (i just can’t take it seriously lol)

Smut fics/stories for male!reader (I identify as a woman, so writing a full porn one-shot for a male reader would be a bit awkward in my opinion. But i can still do headcanons)

In conclusion i won’t be writing anything that’s offensive or highly controversial or flat out problematic! however, my writings will contain somewhat dark topics and that’s about all. but i won’t go overboard with anything. (i’m sure you understand)

Feel free to leave me requests though!! i am sooo desperate‼️ i don’t bite so don’t be scared lol

ANYWAYYY that’s about everything. bye-bye :))

[scarfwrites]

Hihiii firstly I just wanna say that I love your writing i like how immersing it can get sometimes and just how it hits the feel idk how to explain it other than that so uh... right I just wanna ask if you could write iwaizumi x reader where the reader has this overprotective friend or sibling (idk you choose) and the overprotective friend/sibling just trys break up iwaizumi and the reader at the start but in the end they just end up supporting them basically overprotective friend/sibling with a twist ig? Maybe angsty at the start? I would love to see if you could do this ❤️ and even if you cant its ok and again love your writing I personally liked "Sunshine on Valentines Day" and also hated it cus it made me feel lonely after 😭 (not trying to guilt trip you or anything just really love your work!)

(May or May not be new to tumblr)

A Promise to Keep

❅Genre : Fluff, Crack, Comfort, Angst

❅Pairings:  Iwaizumi x Reader

❅Warnings: Vulgar language, mentions of cheating, mentions of toxic relationship (NOT WITH IWAIZUMI)

❅ Summary : You were worried that your parents would disapprove of your new boyfriend Iwaizumi. You should’ve worried about someone else though

❅A/N : Sorry if it was late! I was working on some other fics. Thank you so much for those kind words! I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart💙💙💙. I do my best making sure my readers feel immersed into the writing 😊😊😊. Ngl this idea popped into my to write list and I enjoyed finally making it though it was pretty challenging. Thank you again for enjoying my writing. It makes me really happy! I used the term nee-chan which is used for girls (since i couldn’t remember if there’s a neutral term for older sibling in japanese) however y/n is gender neutral

“Nervous?” You asked looking at Iwaizumi

“Yeah, but you look more nervous than I am” Iwaizumi chuckled emphasising that your hand gripping his hand firmly

Today was the day Iwaizumi would finally meet your family. Aside from the normal nervousness one would have of what their parents would think of your parents, your last relationship was pretty bad to say the least so you expect your parents to be more “cautious” this time around.

“Oh! Sorry!” You relax your grip on his hand “I mean you already know the reason why I’d be worried” You spoke softly as you look down

“Don’t worry I’ll make a great impression on them” he gives you a soft yet reassuring smile

“I know you will” you smile back gratefully “I’m sure they’ll love you! You’ve all the qualities of a great boyfriend!” You tried encouraging yourself making Iwaizumi chuckle

“We’ll get through this together okay?” Iwaizumi held your hand more firmly as you gave him a nod

You took a breath before you rang the doorbell. You hear your younger brother informing your parents that someone was here. After a few moments you hear the door lock open as the wave of nervousness comes back crashing in. The door opens and you see your mother.

“Oh it’s just you Y/N!” Your mom gives you a big hug as you did the same before letting go

“I’d like you and dad to meet someone” you said with nervousness as Iwaizumi waves

“Oh! Y/N you should’ve told me you were bringing someone home!” Your mother lightly scolds “Come in!” She opens the door as you both walk in

“Nee-chan!” Your younger brother tackles you as you pull him up “Gasp! Is this who i think it is?” your brother looks at you with a knowing smile 

“Mhmm” you nod as his face widens in excitement

“Hi!” Your brother wiggles his way out of your grasp and runs towards Iwaizumi as he holds him in his arms “You’re nee-chan’s boyfriend right?” your brother whispered his question whilst Iwaizumi lifts him off the ground

“Has she told you about me?” Iwaizumi smiled at the young boy as he responds with an excited nod making your boyfriend chuckle

“I’m on your side” he whispered on Iwaizumi’s ear “If you make my nee-chan happy then I’m happy” He gave your boyfriend the brightest smile making his heart swell at your brother’s adorableness

“Thanks little buddy” Iwaizumi smiled back to your younger brother the pet name making him smile even more

“I really like him!” Your brother looks to you as you smile at him

“Everyone! Dinner’s ready!” Your mother calls out

Iwaizumi puts your brother down and as he gets down he dashes towards the living room.

“ Well I’ve got one” Iwaizumi chuckled as he looked at you

“Well he’s known from the start and it isn’t that hard to convince him” you chuckled back as the both of you walk to the dining room

After a while everyone gathers to the dining room and takes a seat

“You’re lucky we had just enough dinner for everyone” here your mother chuckled “You should’ve told me that you were bringing someone along! I would’ve loved to treat him with my signature dish” your mother rambled

“Do you like tofu?” Your younger brother looked at Iwaizumi as he ate a portion of tofu

“Yeah, it’s part of my favourite food” Iwaizumi smiled to your younger brother as he gasped

“Really? It’s my favourite too!” Your brother exclaimed excitedly “Nee-chan I like your friend a lot!” Your brother gave you a happy smile putting you at ease from the awkwardness

“Speaking of which” your father cleared his throat “You mind introducing us to your friend?” your father looked at you then at Iwaizumi

“Oh right! This is Iwaizumi” you introduced as Iwaizumi waved “He’s uh my friend” you mumbled

“I see…” your father spoke quietly making you nervous “Seems more than that” your father looked at your hands slightly touching as you both blush

“Right! He’s… he’s my boyfriend” you looked away bashfully as your father took a sip from his tea however you feel your older brother’s intense stare looking right at you

“I see…” He said once again sipping more from his tea

“It’s been awhile since you brought someone here” your older brother stated coldly

“Well, I’d like to get a proper introduction to your boyfriend” your mother looks at you “To get to know him of course” you mother reassured you with a smile

“Well… We go to the same school, we’re in the same class, we’ve known each other for a while-” you explained but you were interrupted by your younger brother

“Yeah! He’s on their volleyball team! He plays their ace! His spikes are amazing!” Your brother’s eyes sparkled in excitement explaining everything he knew as all of you look at him

“Someone sure knows a lot” your father chuckled at your brother’s excitement

“I’ve seen him on TV before!” Your brother eagerly said“Oh oh and! He’s super serious when it comes to talking to his team and he looks super scary but he’s super sweet to his fans especially to Y/N!” Your brother continued to explain making Iwaizumi blush red at his last statement

“He sounds like a wonderful person” your mother smiled at you making you smile back nervously

“Yeah yeah yeah! He's a total gentleman and-” Your brother was about to enthusiastically share more though your older brother interrupted him

“I think that’s enough for now” your older brother nudged the younger child as he stopped

“Thank you” you whispered giving him a thumbs up as he gave one back

“From the looks of it, he sounds like a responsible and kind young man” your mother spoke as she ate her soup

“I like the athletic types, strong enough to keep someone like my child protected” your father said “Am I right?” Your father looked at Iwaizumi 

“Yes sir” Iwaizumi nodded

“Is that a yes?” You hid your excitement asking both of your parents

“If he can keep that promise then I’m fine with your relationship” your father stated 

“If our little boy is that enthusiastic about everything he says, I’m sure i need not to worry with such a responsible man” your mother gave the both of you an approving nod

“I’m sure this one would have a lot to say if we objected” your father chuckled as you all looked at your younger brother who was trying to hide his excitement

“Yay! You’re part of our family now!” Your younger brother got of his seat and gave Iwaizumi a big hug

“You just gonna let them off like that?” Your older brother interjected as you sighed “You just trust everything they say?” Your brother scowled making your younger brother pout

“The description your brother gave fits” your mother responded “he’s sitting here very well mannered and even brought us a gift” your mother said as your older brother scoffed

“Yeah! Stop being such a Debbie Downer!” your younger brother’s pout turns into a very angry scowl

“You think I’m being a Debbie Downer?” Your brother stated coldly as he stood up from the table with rage “Stop being so delusional! Don’t you remember how broken they were with that last son of a bitch who came here!” Your brother’s voice seethed with rage as you slowly signalled Iwaizumi to leave

“Y/N are you sure-” Iwaizumi said but was soon interrupted by you insisting on him leaving

“You don’t know that!” You yell at your brother “You know nothing! You barely even talked to him let alone know what he’s like!” you continue to berate your brother as he grit his teeth 

“As if we can trust your judgement” he crossed his arms “Who knows you might’ve broughten a cheating scumbag back into our house” he glared at you as you clench your jaw to stop yourself from crying

“Watch your mouth when you talk to your siblings like that” your father interjected as your brother scoffed and stomped back to his room 

“Sorry about him” your mother sighed as your younger brother asked for you to pick him up

“Don’t be sad nee-chan!” Your brother gave you a comforting hug

“Thank you” you hug him back tightly

“I’ll be sure to give him a piece of my mind later” your father huffed as your mother patted his shoulder

“Let’s not worsen the situation” she spoke “Don’t mind him Y/N, we both trust you” your mother gave a comforting smile as you smiled back softly

“ Thanks, I should check on Hajime though” you said as you walk to the door as you open it you see Iwaizumi sitting on the ledge of the porch

“Can’t say he still won’t bother us anymore” you sighed as you sat with him

“Sorry about all this” Iwaizumi frowned slightly

“It’s okay! He’s always like that!” Your brother spoke up as he sat in between both of you “He’s always so grumpy when it comes to y/n and me” your brother pouted as he laid his head on Iwaizumi’s lap making him chuckle slightly

“He’s just overprotective of us” you commented “But sometimes it feels too overbearing of him” you sighed tiredly

“It’s okay! You can get through it together!” your brother stood up and hugged you both tightly together

“Thank you buddy” Iwaizumi smiled

You were glad at least your parents were on your side. You understood why your brother was like that as he just wanted to protect you. Though you won’t let him bother you or Iwaizumi. You knew better than him that he’d never leave you broken-hearted. Unbeknownst to you your brother was already plotting something.

“Nee-chan! Are you gonna visit your boyfriend?” Your brother ran towards you as you were about to leave your house

“Yeah! His team’s been working very hard so I made them lunch!” You smiled as your brother looked at the neatly made bento boxes you were carrying 

“Can I come? Please!” Your brother said with his puppy eyes making you giggle

“C’mon let’s go!” You said as he jumped in joy

As you both walked towards the gym you weren’t surprised to see Oikawa’s fangirls waiting at the door for the brunette. You paid no mind to them and opened the gymnasium door. As you opened the door you saw a girl talking to Hajime and Oikawa holding something. You observed the girl give Iwaizumi a box of something then she proceeded to run off past you outside the gymnasium.

“Who was that?” You asked Iwaizumi as you both walk over to him

“I think she was a fan” Iwaizumi replied as he examined the box

“Hey who’s this?” Oikawa kneeled down at your brother holding your hand

“I’m y/n’s brother!” Your brother waved excitedly

“Did you come here to see me?” Oikawa smirked as Iwaizumi rolled his eyes

“Are you Oikawa?” Your brother tilted your head

“Yeah! You must know all about me!” Oikawa laughed to himself

“You’re Shittykawa!” Your brother said excitedly making you and Oikawa’s eyes widen whilst the whole team and Iwaizumi hold in their laughter

“Don’t say that!” You scold as your face flushes with embarrassment whilst your brother looked at you with confusion

“Who told you to say that?” Oikawa asked trying to hold back his anger 

“I heard Iwa-chan say that!” Your brother pointed at Iwaizumi

“How could you teach a child to say that!” Oikawa yelled at Iwaizumi making him roll his eyes

“It’s true though” Iwaizumi shrugged off

“Nevermind all that! Nee-chan made food for all of you!” Your brother exclaimed as you show the boxes of bento

“Woah really?” Makki walked over to you looking at the bento boxes you were carrying

“Yeah I made it for all of you” you smiled

“I was just getting hungry, thanks Y/N” Iwaizumi smiled back

“Thank you Y/N!” The team bowed in gratitude as you handed over the bento boxes

“Hey little guy, why don’t you watch us play volleyball after we eat” Oikawa suggested to your brother 

“Can I?” Your brother looked at you with pleading eyes

“You have a curfew though” you teased making your brother pout

“C’mon Y/N” Oikawa pestered as you chuckled

“Alright fine” you said as your brother jumped in joy

“Can you teach me how to play?” your brother asked excitedly

“Yeah! We’ll teach you everything” Makki smiled “But you don’t wanna learn from Oikawa, we call him Shittykawa for a reason” he whispered

“I heard that!” Oikawa yelled as Makki brushed him off

You were overjoyed seeing your brother having fun with the whole team. You wondered how everyone could deal with how much energy he was outputting.

“Someone’s having a lot of fun” Iwaizumi commented looking at your brother trying to serve

“Hopefully he doesn’t turn out like Oikawa” you chuckled as you looked at him to see the box still wrapped “Why haven’t you opened the box yet?” You tilt your head

“Oh, I forgot” Iwaizumi said as he grabbed the box and opened it revealing  chocolates and other goodies inside

“It’s all Godzilla themed” you examined the box

“Yeah, I wonder how she’d know I don’t exactly tell anyone about it” Iwaizumi pondered

“Your phone case tells otherwise” you giggle showing him his phone as he blushed

“Iwaizumi got a fan! That's a first” Makki when over to the both of you “Usually Oikawa’s the only one with fans” Makki sat down next to both of you

“Y/N’s sitting right there” Matsun chuckled

“It doesn’t count if they’re dating though” Makki responded

“Well, I’ll always be his number one fan!” you hugged Iwaizumi

“Nee-chan look! I can do a serve now!” He tried to serve but it only ended up hitting Oikawa making the team laugh “Oops sorry!” He tried helping Oikawa up

“We need to work on that” Oikawa said slightly dazed

You slightly disliked the idea of fangirls giving your boyfriend gifts, however you knew that he was bound to have fans being the ace of the team so you understand. It’d be fine if it was different girls giving him gifts but the same girl kept giving him gifts every single day. Each gift had something that not alot of people knew about which slightly made you uncomfortable. You tried to pay no mind to it but that same girl kept bothering Iwaizumi trying to get all his attention, even when he tries to tell her to lay off gently she doesn’t get the hint.

“Are you okay Y/N-chan?” Oikawa asked you as the both of you walked to the gymnasium

“Huh? Yeah…” you spoke 

“Is it about that one girl bothering Iwa-chan?” He asked looking at you

“N-no what makes you say that?” You tried to hide your jealousy making Oikawa chuckle

“It’s written all on your face Y/N, you’re cleary bothered by it” Oikawa pointed at your discomforted face making you sigh

“I appreciate that he has fans, I mean he’s always been insecure about being in the shadow but…” you spoke looking down

“But you don’t want them to be all touchy and grabby with him, am I right?” Oikawa guessed as you nodded “I understand I mean he did try to let her off gently but she still persists” Oikawa sighed in annoyance

“I don’t wanna make it seem like he can’t hang out with other people or have fans but… It makes me feel bad about myself” you expressed your turmoil

“Hey, it’s alright to be jealous! You can’t control how you feel” Oikawa gave you a smile of reassurance “Don't feel bad about yourself! Iwa-chan would never replace you, especially if it’s a pick me like her!” Oikawa encouraged making you smile

“You seem bothered by a fan that’s a first” you chuckled

“If it was my own fan I wouldn’t really care but if it’s bothering my best friend’s significant other! It bothers me too!” Oikawa smiled at you

“Thank you Shittykawa” you teased as he frowned

“Hey! I just gave you kind words!” Where’s my thanks He crossed his arms making you laugh more

“You’re right, I’m sure it’ll all blow over” you said as you open the gymnasium door

“Something wrong, Iwaizumi?” Makki asked putting all his stuff down on the bleachers

“The girl who comes here everyday she won’t leave me alone” Iwaizumi replied with an annoyed expression plastered on his face

“Oh the one giving you gifts?” Makki asked to which Iwaizumi nods “I can see why” Makki chuckled

“She’s more annoying than the fans Oikawa always has outside the gym” Iwaizumi huffed making the pink haired boy laugh

“It makes you wonder how Oikawa can bask in all their attention” Matsun chuckled as he interjected

“I really wouldn’t care if it wasn’t bothering Y/N” Iwaizumi sat down placing his hand on his forehead “They don’t wanna admit it but it’s clearly bothering them alot” he continued

“You told her to lay off already right?” Makki asked as he sat down with Iwaizumi

“Hundreds of times” Iwaizumi responded “I even told her straight up when we were alone” he let out a sigh of frustration

“She sounds super obsessed” Matsun added

“What if someone’s paying her to do that?” Makki suggested “I mean not even Oikawa’s fans are that obsessed with him” Makki placed his hand on his chin

“You know… that might be it” Iwaizumi thought

As you opened the door you felt your life flash before your eyes. You and Oikawa saw the girl leaning into Iwaizumi sharing a kiss. Your eyes start brimming in tears feeling overwhelmed at what you were seeing. Iwaizumi pushed her off, his eyes widened looking at you. You couldn’t bear the sight anymore so you ran away to compose yourself. Oikawa catches up to you and held you to stop you from running

“Y/N! Listen to me!” Oikawa holds you tighter as you try to get out from his grasp “We both know Iwa-chan would never hurt you!” He reasoned with you stopping you from moving as tears fell from your cheeks

“I know but… It still hurts…” You continued to cry as Oikawa rubbed your back

“Hey, c’mon let’s just hear him out this could all be one big misunderstanding” Oikawa held you up as Iwaizumi catches up to both of you

“Y/N I can explain she forced herself-” Iwaizumi was cut of by your tight hug

“I knew you wouldn’t do that but I guess my insecurities took over” you explained nestling your head in his chest

“I’d never do that to you… I won’t ever treat you the way that bastard treated you…” Iwaizumi hugged you back “I made a promise to your little brother after all” he smiled at you

“He’s a little guy but he’s pretty scary” Oikawa chuckled

“I can’t disappoint my little buddy” Iwaizumi chuckled along “Anyway I think I know what’s going on” Iwaizumi said as you and Oikawa look in confusion

Iwaizumi explained how the girl admitted she was being paid by someone for doing all this. You instantly knew who would do this so you stormed back to your house as quickly as possible.

“Oh y/n you’re home early!” Your mother smiled but soon faltered seeing your serious face

“Oikawa and Iwa-chan!” Your younger brother runs up to the both of them

“I think now’s not the time” Oikawa chuckled nervously as he picked up your brother “Why don’t Iwa-chan and I go play outside and teach you how to play more volleyball” “Oikawa takes him to the backyard as he squealed in joy

“What’s going on?” your mother asked confused

“Where’s b/n?” You inquired with a serious tone ignoring your mother’s question

“Right here” your brother said walking down the stairs “I see you’ve brought him again” your brother glared looking at Iwaizumi and Oikawa playing with your little brother outside

“Trust me he isn't your biggest problem right now” you scowled “How could you pay a girl to ruin my relationship with Hajime!” You accused making your brother scoff while your mother widens her eyes

“I want an explanation now!” Your mother looked at your brother with an angered expression

“Wow, accusing me now? I told you your new relationship would make you more delusional than you already are!” He rolled his eyes making you laugh

“I’m delusional? You’re the delusional one if you think you can pay a girl to make him do the same exact mistake as my ex did!” You argued back “You don’t need to hide it, she fessed up already!” you continued to yell angrily

“So what if I did huh? It won’t be a matter of time till he does that to you!” Your brother confessed still trying to defend himself making you more angry

“You don’t know that! You don’t know anything!” You yelled as you started tearing up 

“Why don't you listen to me!” He yelled back as your mother tried to come both of you down “I don’t want you to end up like that again! It was my fault why you were like that in the first place! I can’t let you feel that way again knowing I didn’t do anything to stop it!” He explained as his eyes glistened with tears making your expression soften

“I know you want to protect me but… I’m sure that he wouldn’t do that to me… He was there for me when it happened, he was the one who was with me the entire way and was helping me get through it” you explained as your brothers eyes widened “Honestly I don’t think I would’ve been able to get through it if it weren’t for him” you smiled reminiscing at the thought “He already showed it to me today how he’d never do that to me from how you staged everything… I know you want to protect me but I know for sure he would never do that” you looked at your brother eyes “So please… give him a chance” you asked with pleading eyes as he wiped away his tears

“Don’t blame yourself hun” your mother comforted your brother “It was completely out of your control and you didn’t know that it would turn out like that…” your mother hugged your brother “If you give them a chance you’re already protecting Y/N by allowing a responsible young man to be by their side” your mother continued

“Yeah! And he promised he’d never hurt Y/N!” your brother interjected walking inside

“Sorry, we heard all the fighting from the inside and the little guy couldn’t contain himself” Oikawa scratched the back of his head

“Please give them a chance! Let Y/N start over happy! We all want that for them right?” Your younger brother pleaded 

“Alright, I’ll take your word Y/N…” your older brother agreed, making your younger brother jump in joy “Sorry Iwaizumi for all this and what I’ve put you both through… I understand if you won’t forgive me” he scratched the back of his head

“It’s alright we both want to protect her” Iwaizumi smiled accepting your brother’s apology

“Okay! No more fighting! It’s so tiring” your brother huffed as you picked him up

“Don’t worry we’re all tired too” you smiled kissing his cheek

“Let’s go play more volleyball” your brother exclaimed

“I thought you said you were exhausted” Oikawa chuckled

“Nope! I wanna play!” Your brother said making you all laugh

“Why don’t I teach you how to spike?” Iwaizumi offered making you smile seeing your younger brother’s joyed expression

“All's well that ends well” you smiled sighing in relief

I was so immersed with this one the argument and the "cheating" hit my heart 😭😭😭 Thank you so much for requesting this again! This was a banger 50th post!