#basil is so baby girl

[glorious-destruction]

I think about this a normal amount

[rayisalive]

Basil is mr. steal ur girl in a platonic way

[c0pernicus]

Life is good and this weekend was amazing but it’s 3am and I’m suddenly so, so sad

[sayoneee]

☆ PARENT TRAP

in which, a plan is devised to set the two of you up (1.9k)

contains: luke castellan x fem! reader. mortal au. baby percabeth (they are 12). percys pov. loser older brother luke castellan 🔛🔝

kashaf’s note: i think we can tell i love my music references by now. (answering requests soon!)

i. remember the time - michael jackson

PERCY HAS ALWAYS liked afternoons: sitting on the green couch in his apartment, the smell of his favorite blue cookies wafting through the air, and the constantly running episodes of gilmore girls on the tv — that you had convinced him to give a try — and sometimes the addition of grover, who was prone to start passionate tirades on climate change.

though after summer camp, his relatively quiet afternoons now included at least two mentions of “seaweed brain” and two of “wise girl”. 

percy’s trying to stay focused on rory freaking out over thanking dean for something (annabeth is almost laser-focused), but the doorbell rang a while ago, and you still haven’t returned. 

“annabeth,” he whispered, to no avail — he guessed dean really had that effect on people. he tried again, waving a hand in front of her face. she blinked twice before being lifted from the spell of gilmore girls. 

“what?” annabeth asked.

“who’s at the door?” 

annabeth’s eyebrows rose. she turned around, looking past where you were still holding the door open, one hand animatedly gesticulating, the other still on the doorknob. 

“that’s my brother,” annabeth said, turning back to look at percy. 

but percy isn’t paying attention to her right now, instead, he’s focusing on the bits of conversation audible between you and this stranger, who’s smiling very peculiarly down at you.

“— no way, me too,” the stranger is saying, grinning.

you’re saying, “deadass? prove it —” 

“— are you always so skeptical —” 

percy gets up off the couch, annabeth beside him, striding over to you and the stranger, who, for a reason he can’t quite put a finger on, seems weird. 

“hi,” percy says, looking at you, pointedly ignoring the stranger. you and the stranger seem to freeze, your hand halting mid-tuck of your hair behind your ear, something percy has only seen you do around one of your ex-boyfriends. 

“hi,” annabeth says, looking at the stranger, who smiles in response. again, weird.

“ready to go?” the stranger asks, “or are you going to take over their spare bedroom?”

“luke, you’re not funny,” annabeth grumbles, but she doesn’t look that put out by luke’s teasing percy notes. 

you’re smiling, but you’re not looking at annabeth. you’re looking at luke, your one hand still on the doorknob. interesting. 

“you’ve got your yankees cap?” you confirm as annabeth laces up her converse, as you and luke are engaged in a tiny conversation of your own. percy wordlessly hands the worn-out cap to annabeth once she’s finished, saying his goodbye.

once annabeth and her brother are long gone and you’re no longer leaning against the door, you’re still smiling widely, and percy wonders why.

ii. shoop - salt n pepa  

gilmore girls is on again, and luke is here to pick up annabeth. again. but for whatever reason, annabeth still hasn’t left, and you and luke are sitting in the kitchen, alone, conversing loudly. 

annabeth isn’t as hyper-focused on dean and rory’s argument as percy had thought she would be a week ago — he assumed that dean’s appeal died the minute he got mad in that banged-up car. annabeth is saying something about architecture, eyes shining, though he’s not sure which one she’s talking about, hagia sophia or st. basil’s cathedral. your loud laugh seems to ring from the kitchen every minute or so, and well since you’ve begun babysitting him, he can’t say the sound is unfamiliar, but the frequency is suspicious. he doesn’t trust luke. 

“annabeth,” he says, when she’s stopped talking.

“percy,” she responds in the same tone, her smile bright.

“how long has your brother been in the kitchen for?” he says, trying to sound nonchalant, but missing the mark horrifically.

annabeth looks at the watch on her wrist, “woah —”

“what does woah mean?” percy knows he’s being impolite, and his mom taught him to never interrupt people, but he can’t help it at this moment. 

“i was just getting to that, seaweed brain,” annabeth rolled her eyes good-naturedly, “we were supposed to leave an hour and half ago.”

this was bizarre. “no offense, but what does my babysitter and your brother even have in common to be talking nonstop for an hour and half?”

“no idea,” annabeth says, thoughtfully. “is she in a band? luke’s in a band.”

“no,” percy says, but he thinks he remembers your last boyfriend being in a band. “is your brother a senior?”

“yeah — does she do boxing? luke does.”

“i actually don’t know,” percy pauses, “i think we should see for ourselves,” he stands up. 

“wait,” annabeth says, “they might go quiet if they see we’re around. let’s just turn off the tv and eavesdrop.”

percy grins, annabeth was such a genius, “you got it, wise girl.” 

they’re both so silent, he wonders if you’ll notice, but with the way you’re laughing again, borderline giggling, actually — which is odd — as you say, “shut up, you know what i meant,” he doesn’t think you’ll realize. 

“erm, actually i don’t,” luke says, nasally (in what percy hopes is mockery). 

percy looks at annabeth, who rolls her eyes at him and mouths, ‘he’s being ironic’. percy stares at the patterns in the carpet, and annabeth stares at the picture of percy and his mom hung on the wall, as they continue to strain their ears — which isn’t hard because of how noisy you and luke are together.

“you’re so insufferable.”

“and you’re the one who invited me in, so.”

“i was being nice,” you sound like you’re protesting, but percy and annabeth note the amusement in your voice with another shared glance.

“you? nice? let’s be forreal.”

“i’m literally not even mean.”

“you literally are.”

annabeth peeks at him, and percy thinks he’s had enough of listening to this conversation, which is quickly becoming weird. and mushy. he can practically see how you’re looking at luke, and how he’s looking at you, which is not at all something he wants to imagine.

he nods at annabeth, and they both try to make their footsteps as loud as possible when they start approaching the kitchen, just in case. 

he’s grateful to every higher being out there when he and annabeth find you and luke in the kitchen simply sitting next to each other, no funny business involved. 

iii. doo wop (that thing) - ms. lauryn hill

you’re on the phone, giggling. annabeth is over again, and there’s no luke in sight, but percy suspects he’s on the other end of the line. 

percy sighs and turns to annabeth, who always seems to know what to do because this little situation has gotten unbelievably out of hand. 

“is that your brother on the phone?”

annabeth’s concentration on the teetering jenga tower on the coffee table lingers, doo wop (that thing) playing on the tv in the background, “yeah, i think so.”

“how do you know?” percy asks, watching annabeth carefully choose a jenga block to remove.

“they like each other,” annabeth says, looking at him, as if it’s as obvious as grass being green.

“no, they don’t,” percy pauses for a minute when annabeth raises her eyebrows at him. “how do you know?” 

“luke’s always calling her at home,” annabeth said, “and he made her a mixtape.”

“that doesn’t mean they like each other, that just means he likes her,” percy points out, crossing his arms. 

they hear you giggle in the kitchen again. annabeth looks at him as if that proves her point.

annabeth blinks, her face lighting up, “oh my god, percy, we should set them up.” 

percy stares at her. he can’t deny that for as long as he’s known annabeth, she’s seldom been wrong, but he doesn’t think this is the best idea. but, percy trusts annabeth, so he agrees.

iv. this is how we do it - montell jordan

percy’s spying on you. well, he doesn’t consider it to be spying exactly, he’s just making sure nothing happens to you because despite annabeth’s constant defense of her brother, percy still doesn’t trust luke. percy’s always thought of you more than just his babysitter, after all the attempts at making blue hot chocolate and the comforting after nightmares, you’ve turned into his sister. 

he’s at annabeth’s place now, and both of them decided to put their — what annabeth swears is fool-proof — plan into action. step number one: getting luke to invite you inside when you come to pick him up (which was so unbelievably easy, considering how luke has perpetual heart eyes when you’re around).

currently, you’re in the kitchen with luke (the two of you are always congregating in kitchens for some reason), and annabeth decided that she and percy absolutely had to keep an eye on the two of you.

you’re gasping, “luke castellan, you are such a liar.”

luke is laughing, “no i’m not.” his cheeks are red.

you’ve seemed to notice this, and percy can see your gaze soften as you look at luke, but that doesn’t stop you from making your point, “no, oh my god, you call me the mean one but here you are, talking shit about your rivals, just because they’re better?”

percy has seen you argue with your ex-boyfriends, but not like this — not bright-eyed, and smiling, and none of them have been able to just flow the way you seem to with luke. this is it, he thinks, annabeth was completely and utterly right (as she is 90% of the time). 

“you take that back right now, those motley crue knockoffs aren’t better than us,” luke says, sounding kind of angry, but percy can see his smile.

“you’re totally bugging,” you say, “what’s wrong with motley crue?”

luke looks scandalized, and almost as if he’s pleading, he says, “please tell me you’ve at least listened to guns n roses,” pushing his hands together in a namaste position.

“i don’t live under a rock, castellan,” you rolled your eyes at him, pushing his hands down. annabeth shares a look with percy.

“i mean, you never know,” he says, and you scoff, shoving him.

percy raises his eyebrows at annabeth, and she seems to know exactly what he’s thinking — time to put step two into action: set up a going-out idea.

percy and annabeth pretend to walk closer to the kitchen, to give the two of you time to spring apart, because you and luke weren’t a very pg distance right now — maybe pg-thirteen, but percy wasn’t supposed to be watching those, so.

annabeth jerks a finger at percy, as you and luke looked up at their arrival, addressing luke, “percy doesn’t believe that your band actually plays in public.”

percy’s head whips toward annabeth, trying not to glare at her, because the look on luke’s face right now was not at all amusing, but at least you were smiling, so you’d definitely stop luke from killing him.

“yeah, luke,” you say, smirking, “where do you guys even play?”

luke frowns, “the usual but we’re playing at the fair next week if you’re so interested.” the last part is aimed at percy, but their plan is going well so far, so percy doesn’t think he’ll have to sleep with one eye open tonight.

“when?” you ask, interested.

percy watches luke turn to you, surprised. “saturday — why, you wanna come?”

“yeah,” you admit easily.

percy looks at annabeth, who’s smiling and percy can’t help but feel proud of their idea.

“really? we don’t go on until like seven though.”

“yeah, someone has to be there to cheer for you so you don’t feel too bad when no one else does,” you grin.

luke turns to you, masking his smile with a fake air of irritation, “gee, thanks.”

“what are friends for?”

percy shares a disappointed glance with annabeth who begins to shake her head, as luke’s smile freezes in place, and you suddenly look extremely remorseful.

time to come up with a new plan. 

© sayoneee on tumblr. do not repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[shrimperini]

emori AU babies :3

like in canon, sunny and mari moved to faraway town when they were young. they met hero and kel and befriended them. sunny is a quiet, snarky, imaginative kid who likes to draw. mari is an intelligent, introverted girl who has a big interest for bugs, especially spiders. hero is also pretty introverted and likes reading. the irritable nerdy kid if you will. when hero first met mari, he thought she was a bit weird and didn’t really like her, but eventually they became friends and as they grew older they fell for eachother.

kel is the brash, energetic kid who constantly wants to play! he always drags sunny out of his house to spend time together. at some point, the group met aubrey. again like in canon, later on she introduced basil to the others. aubrey is a responsible, well mannered & cheerful young girl. one day she saw a blonde boy playing alone in the park, so she became his friend. basil, who comes from a rich family, never really had a close friend before; aubrey was his first.

aubrey helped basil come out of his shell and he grew closer to sunny as well, and became inseparable. basil may appear quiet and shy, but he’s a bit of a prankster. he really likes poking fun at his friends every chance he gets lol

btw hero is still terrified of spiders in this au 🤭🕷️ mari has a collection of bugs of all kinds in her room. everytime he visits her he has to look away from that corner lol

[medicinal-doll]

Hurt.

Daddy!Henry x little!reader

Summary: You only wanted to make a simple home cooked meal for your husband but after a recent accident his cautious nature decides to make itself known.

Warnings: Fluff, love bombing, babying, kisses,petnames,injury,hint at ddlg themes,slight Dom/sub dynamic

A/N I hope this helps a bit anon

*Please don't repost without permission If you use my writing as inspiration please ask first and credit me*

..............

You try to ignore your husband's looming eyes on your body. ever since he got home from work...no.. ever since the accident he's been acting as if you're made of glass.

"Let me get that for you sweetie" A strong dominant hand encircles your waist keeping you firm as Henry reaches over your head. grabbing the pasta box from the high shelf.

And now you're frowning in the corner. not only watching him start to cook the meal you planned, but every now and then he gives you a sympathetic smile.

You stand there arms crossed with a pout trying to work up the courage to say something. to tell him that you're far from helpless, and that you can take care of yourself even though you're healing.

But you know that argument would just fall on deaf ears. Henry babied you before you hurt your back. but now, apparently you can't even manage to make dinner without his assistance and under his watchful eye.

You wait until his attention is turned to stirring the basil ridden spaghetti sauce before you sneak out of the luxurious kitchen and make your way to the wine cellar. You scan the dusty shelves looking for the perfect taste to take your mind off of your overbearing husband and the dull ache of your spine when you finally see it.

The 1942 bottle of sauvignon blanc. only it's netted to an old wooden crate. fueled by determination and denial of your altered state you instantly crouch down. gripping the handles of the crate and start applying force as your husband's warnings ring a faint lullaby in the back of your mind.

You pull your hardest with all your might before a sharp seething hot pain shoots through you. causing an involuntary drop of the heavy box with a thud and a loud cry of pain.

"Shit!"

You drop to the floor as you caress your back in anguish.

And not a moment later do you hear heavy rushed footsteps come flying down the cellar stairs. finding yourself scooped up within an instant cradled in a protective embrace. You look up to meet Henry's panicked eyes as his irises wander your form looking for any sign of further injury.

"Are you alright honey?.." he looks at you with a sincere gaze as he brushes away your hair to get a good read on your expression.

But as embarrassment starts to settle in. you just give one simple nod as you feel your tears well up. clinging to his chest for comfort, sniffling lightly in shame.

Henry sighs, his concerned expression slightly settling. relieved that you're okay but then his brows furrow as he takes on a more stern look. taking a hold of your chin as he makes you face him hesitantly.

"Look at me babygirl..." He says in that gentle tone he knows you're weak for. shyly you look up at him your face still guilt ridden as ever.

"you're hurt honey" he says gently not wanting to lecture you too harshly.

"So now... You need to be a good girl and let your daddy take care of you, Okay?"

He feels his heart flutter as he watches your little eyes cling on to his every word.

"Papa knows how big and strong you are...and I love that. but now you need to stop being so stubborn and let me take care of you"

"that's what I'm here for angel" he nuzzles your face and you can't help the giggle that slips.

You pout at your husband feeling self conscious of your silly behavior and needless display of false strength. You bury your head into his soothing chest as you feel him carefully lift your feeble form from the ground.

.........

Settling onto the soft bed he seats you on his lap. gently rocking you back and forth. making sure to avoid shifting your injury as he places sweet kisses on your forehead and against your temple.

You meld so easily into his warm and comforting presence. relishing in the delicious concoction of his natural pheromones and faint cologne.

"I love you so much sweetie"

His big hands roam your body lovingly. caressing you from your soft thighs to your hips.then finally nestling around your ribcage delicately pulling you closer to his chest.

"Stay here and relax for me honey" he leans down giving you a deep passionate kiss to the lips. you whimper lightly savouring the softness and the light tickle of his facial hair.

"I promise i'll wake you when dinner's finished" he says in a low accent cuddling you close to him.You nod absentmindedly, not having it in you to prove your strength anymore. only wanting to be good for him now.

Grabbing at his collar for one last tender kiss. He then hushes you under the sheets. whispering his love and adoration for you. before leaving you to rest that pretty little head of yours.

[upsidedownwithsteve]

dad!Eddie Munson x fem!reader

kidfic from the simmer verse 🍳 inspired by this ask/tiktok

When your daughter turned six, you and Eddie moved out of your apartment and into a home fit for a family. One with a big bay window and a huge garden, an oak tree out the back for Eddie to hang a swing from.

It came with a wrap around porch and the kitchen of Eddie’s dreams and Maeve got to pick the colour for her new bedroom, a mustard yellow that made her room feeling like an eternal summer. She was her daddy’s girl, a princess.

And then she turned twelve.

Eddie was in the kitchen when Maeve appeared, already so much taller than Eddie liked, her hair the same colour as yours but as curly as her fathers. She was just as pouty now, preteen hormones making her perpetually moody, sulking in corners and stealing away to her bedroom with Basil.

Now? Now she seemed to be on a mission.

“Dad?”

Eddie looked up from the cook book he was reading, tired eyed after an early morning meeting at the restaurant. They were making a new menu and Eddie had been worn thin, working too late and coming home to make you taste test all his new ideas. You never complained.

“Yeah, squish?”

“I’m hungry,” Maeve announced, sliding herself onto one of the barstools at the large island. Copper pots hung on a rack from the ceiling, casting bronze coloured reflections off of the girls cheeks. She still had freckles from the summer, a scratch on her chin from where uncle Argyle had tried to teach her how to skateboard. “Can you make me something?”

“Yeah, babe, sure,” Eddie wandered over to the fridge and he pulled out some containers. He wiggled one enticingly. “I made some mac ‘n’ cheese last night, you want me to hear some up?”

Maeve wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like mac ‘n’ cheese.”

Eddie’s face fell and his frown matched his daughters perfectly. If you’d been home from work, you would’ve laughed and called her his comeuppance.

“Well, you liked it fine last week.”

The twelve year old just shrugged, her legs swinging from her stool. “Well, I don’t anymore,” she replied with just as much indignation as her dad. “Can I get some pizza pockets?”

Now Eddie really did huff. The only reason the box of pastry abominations were in his freezer to begin with is because you’d done the last grocery shop. He narrowed his eyes at Maeve but moved to the freezer door when she giggled.

“We need to teach you some taste, kid,” Eddie tried to act stern. “How many you want? You starvin’?”

Maeve leaned onto her elbows and let her hands squish her cheeks. Her nails were black and glittery, painted carefully by you a few nights before and she’d proudly shown her dad her colour choice when he came home from work. “I don’t know, just two.”

“You don’t know?” Eddie questioned and he peered over his shoulder, the over door open. “You said you were hungry, babe. This is a meal for a hamster.”

Basil appeared at the mention of rodents, the black cat slinking into the kitchen to wind around Eddie’s ankles.

“I’ll have some chips too.” Maeve announced. “And some sliced apple, but only like, four slices, okay?”

Eddie blinked. “Four?”

“Yes, please.”

Well, at least she had manners. Eddie grumbled under his breath but did as told, shoving in the pizza horror before washing off an apple under the tap. He cut it as his girl watched, chomping every other slice until only four remained.

The timer on the oven had five minutes left. “Anything else, princess?”

Maeve seemed to ponder this question before she nodded, her little face as serious as could be. “Some grapes too, but just ten. And if there’s some baby bells left, I’ll have one. Oh, and seven gummy worms.”

Eddie’s lips were parted, his brows raised as he stared across the counter at his daughter. He didn’t know whether to laugh or call you and ask if this was some kind of prank he didn’t know about.

“What?”

Maeve blinked. “What?”

So Eddie huffed again and got out a plate, murmuring nonsense to himself as he gathered Maeve’s order, glaring playfully at her as he counted out exactly ten grapes. She grinned as she leaned over, laughing mischievously as she plucked one from the plate.

And when Eddie gasped, all theatrical, Maeve pointed to her plate and told him quite plainly around a mouthful of fruit, “dad, I said ten.”

Eventually, the timer beeped and two pizza pockets with oozing fake cheese were added to the plate. Eddie slid it over with a flourish, cackling when Maeve took offence to one gummy worm touching the pizza sauce that had leaked out. So he snatched it and shoved it into his mouth biting off the side with the sauce before dropping it back onto her plate.

“Dad! Ew!” Maeve gasped, throughly insulted but she slunk off her stool and Eddie flicked her on the as she passed, grinning when she scurried back to her room with Basil at her feet.

[libbyfandom]

Soft Modern!Mizu Headcanons

Loves ASMR. Likes Japanese soft spoken ASMR. There’s a nice older woman ASMRtist on Youtube that reminds her of how her mom would speak when she was little.

Has a plague doctor plushie.

Very much into the cottagecore aesthetic. Loves the idea of having a quiet little stone cottage with ivy growing up the side, shutter windows, and a little garden behind.

Speaking of gardening, her adoptive father taught her how to garden when she was small. He’d raised her on the smell of wet soil and the feeling of digging her little hands through to pull up the vegetables. She doesn’t have room for a garden in her little college apartment, but she does have a windowsill planter where she grows basil and rosemary for cooking.

Curls up in fetal position when napping.

Uses scrunchies to tie her hair up. Blue and black are the most common colors.

Mizu follows hopecore stuff on every social media platform and saves her favorite quotes and videos to a folder in her phone.

Mizu’s first sleepover is in college with you and Akemi. Akemi got all of you matching pajamas but in different colors and ya’ll made cookies and watched childhood movies Mizu’s never seen like Barbie. And I mean the CLASSIC Barbie movies like "Rapunzel" and "Princess and the Pauper". She makes lighthearted, snarky comments the first half of the movies but by the end you see how her eyes are bright as she sits in front of the TV.

Ringo taught her about wishing on dandelions. If she doesn’t pick them to use herself when she sees them, she saves them for you or her friends.

She’ll doodle on your arm with pen when she’s bored in the one class you share together.

She’s not the baby of her friend group, she’s the second youngest, right before Akemi. But she’s the baby of the group. It’s just, no one outright tells her so she doesn’t get defensive. Akemi will braid her hair for her before kenjutsu practice, because she never learned how. Ringo will always keeps snacks in his bag for her, and pulls them out when he sees her holding her stomach with the slight pinching of her eyes hinting that she’s upset and pained. Taigen and her are, you know, but when he sees her in a four v one fight against upperclassman he jumps at one of the guys, swinging without hesitation.

Mikio never got her flowers. But when roses show up on her kitchen table with a note in your handwriting, she has a moment where her heart is fluttering. Her eyes close as she brings one close and inhales its floral perfume with a soft smile.

Mizu drinking a milkshake.

She hung fairy lights on the ceiling of her room.

One time for a college event Akemi absolutely doused her hair with silvery spray on glitter. Her raven hair ended up sparkling like the night sky and she got so many compliments she started getting flustered. She'd hide behind Ringo and Taigen when she would see groups of girls walking by that would gasp at how pretty her hair looked and come closer to either compliment her or ask her where she got the glitter.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, The Court Jester)—LISTEN, I'd let that woman's voice with all its gravely hoarseness (positive) wash over me all goddamn day, but if that's not enough she managed to play the straight woman to Danny Kaye's jester, all with her cleavage so plunging it might as well have been catapulted into the ocean right after Basil Rathbone

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Glynis Johns:

She walks the line between sexy and cute. Her best role for me is in "The Court Jester as Maid Jean. She's fantastic as the soft but tough captain of the outlaw band and she looks stunning in every gown she wears throughout the film. And of course we can't forget her iconic turn as the suffragette mother, Mrs. Banks, in Mary Poppins! Also shoutout to her distinctive and beautiful voice, kind of smoky and husky. Extremely hot and set her apart from many of her peers."

"She was amazing in Mary Poppins (the Suffragette song is severely underrated) and apparently she was Welsh? National pride! And she advocated for arts funding in Wales, which is very cool. Also, she died recently (RIP) making her one of the last survivors of the Golden Age of Hollywood, according to Wikipedia. Also also, she just has a cheeky energy I like? And her eyes are beautiful!"

"She had this wonderful wit and charm to her no matter the role and the most distinctive, striking voice!"

"I mean, incredibly beautiful and talented, can do drama can do comedy. And she was a mermaid."

"Like Bette Davis she has eyes to die for. Unlike Bette Davis you felt comforted by them, even when she was batting her eyelashes at you. Would glady go to Downing Street with her and throw things at the Prime minister"

"Listen, listen. I was raised on Mary Poppins and "Votes for women! (step in time)" single-handedly taught me how to be a feminist. Also The Court Jester is one of my favourite movies of all time and she is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous, charismatic, funny, and clever in it. She knocks several men out. Absolute icon."

"I love Glynis Johns. Most of the reason is The Court Jester where she's a sensible and capable foil to whatever what going on with Danny Kaye at the time. She was also the first star I based an OC on. An OC that I still have to this day! Anyway here have some YouTube links love u bye"

Mermaid clip:

Court Jester (sharing a bed trope):

Court Jester (seducing the king):

"VOTES FOR WOMEN! Well, votes for this woman. Please."

Eartha Kitt:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist.

[songbirdofthenight]

Good Things Come in Threes

Good things come in threes

WC- 1677 Pairings- steddiexfem!reader

Warnings: dom!steddie x brat!reader, polyamory, voyeurism, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), dacryphilia, multiple orgasms, anal sex, cock warming, aftercare mentioned

Summary: Steve and Eddie have you over for a Valentine’s dinner and movie, which takes a rather interesting, horny turn.  

“This has to be perfect,” 

“Perfect for our perfect girl.” 

Steve and Eddie had the scene set perfectly. Dinner on the table, a few candles out and music humming through their living and dining space. The two watched the clock on the stove tick minute after minute in anxious woe. Eventually, a knock on their door snapped them out of their worried haze. Eddie jumped up, grabbing the door. “Hello, gorgeous, you look…” “Wow…” Steve piped in from across the room. “Hi Eddie, hi Stevie.” You smiled, hands held behind your back. Dressed in a soft pink, long sleeve top with flowy sleeves and a white skirt with matching white tights decorated with pale pink flowers. Steve and Eddie welcomed you in, excited to share the night. You slipped your shoes off at the door, leaving your coat and small purse on the end table. Steve and Eddie hurried to embrace you,encasing you in their arms. “Happy to have you here baby,” Stevie mumbled, pressing a kiss on the crown of your head. 

“We made dinner!” Eddie exclaimed, practically pulling you two towards the dinner table. “All this for just me? You guys are too sweet.” You blushed, squeezing Eddie’s hand. Eddie shook away rushing to pull a chair out for you. “You made pizza?” you giggled at the fancy display. “Well, yeah, but its the fancy kind with mozzarella and the little leaf.” 

“Eds, basil? You mean basil.” Steve giggled alongside you. “Yeah yeah whatever.” “No, no don’t do that, I’m sure it tastes wonderful baby.” You reassured him while grabbing a slice and setting it on your plate. Several slices of pizza later you all migrated to the sofa for a movie. Eddie and Steve sat on either side of you, arms wrapped around you. Steve leaned over, whispering in your ear, “What if we move this elsewhere?” 

His hot breath in your ear caused goosebumps to explode all over your skin. His lips moved closer and closer to your ear until he bit your earlobe softly. You whined softly under your breath, these boys had you hooked with a capital H. There was no shaking the effect they had on you. Steve’s tongue flicked your earlobe, circling up and around the back of your ear. Your thighs pressed together tightly, squeezing Eddie’s hand as it slid between them. “Something got you worked up, pretty girl?” Eddie spoke, giving your thigh a squeeze. “No, n-not at all.” You wavered as Steve bit with more pressure. “I don’t think you’re telling us the truth.” Steve whispered again. Little electric currents shot through your body. “I think we should take her to the bedroom, maybe she’ll tell us then. What do you think, Stevie?” Eddie sweetly mocked your tone as Steve nodded in agreement. Both boys jumped up from their seats, extending their hands out to pull you up. You placed either of your hands into theirs letting them peel you from your spot. Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you over his shoulder. “HEY!” you shouted in protest. Eddie walked you down the short hall with Steve trailing behind. “Somethin’ wrong?” He smiled watching your head toss from side to side with each step Eddie took. You stuck your tongue out at Steve, “oh come on now honey, that’s no way to talk to us when we know there’s something you so desperately need.” Steve emphasised each consonant of need as if he were embarrassing you in front of Eddie. Eddie tossed you onto their king sized mattress that nearly took up the whole room. You sat up beneath their looming figures. Suddenly you were small, fragile, easy to ruin. Steve and Eddie exchanged glances, as if to have a conversation with just their eyes. 

In a second, Steve and Eddie were pulling their clothes off. Taking each other’s shirts off and undoing the buttons of their jeans. You watched in awe as the boys undressed each other, observing as they left themselves in nothing but socks and boxers. They looked down at you, “So which one of us is going to show you what happens to pretty things when they don’t tell us what they want, hm?”

Eddie’s words were striking, almost cold. “My choice?” “Your choice, pretty girl. Who is it gonna be?” You were silent. 

“Well, Eds I think we could both show her.” Steve suggested. “I think we should, actually.” You stared up in bewilderment at whatever Steve meant by that. “C’mere pretty boy and give me a kiss.” Eddie practically sang, pulling him close. Eddie’s lips collided with Steve’s, their jaws engulfing one another. You sat, fully clothed, watching as the two boys above you made out with each other. Jealousy quickly took over as they pivoted towards the bed. Steve pressed Eddie down onto the mattress beside you and kissed across his jawline down his neck. Eddie turned his face towards your side, whimpers fell out of his shaking lip. 

Your legs pressed together tightly, Steve let up and looked towards you. “Oh honey this could have been you, yeah?” You nodded. “Should have just said so.” Steve picked up where he was, nipping at the sensitive spots of Eddie’s neck. Eddie’s hand wiggled up towards your waist, under your waistband. His fingers slid between your panties and skin, finding your clit. He pressed soft circles against your clit, causing a hitch in your breath. Eddie’s fingers circled faster and faster. Suddenly you couldn’t hold moans back anymore. You and Eddie huffing out in sync for more. Steve’s ears perked, unlatching his lips from Eddie’s chest. “Oh no, Eds what is this?” Steve’s hand traced over Eddie’s arm reaching his wrist. He pressed hard against Eddie’s wrist pushing more pressure onto your clit. “Eddie, baby, I can’t believe this. You gave in hm?” Eddie sighed, “I did. She just looked so, so, desperate.” Desperate. Steve shook his head, “Eds, we were teaching her.” “I learned, you taught, please Stevie need to feel you both,” you cried out. “Did you hear that Steve, she wants us both? Let's give our girl what she needs, yeah?” Eddie pleaded. Steve smiled, “two against one I guess. C’mon pretty girl tell us what we have to do.” “Gotta take these off.” You grabbed at your shirt and skirt. Eddie and Steve quickly shifted positions scrambling to strip you. They pulled off all of your remaining clothing, leaving you completely nude. Steve’s hands made their way to your knees, pushing them apart. You lay backwards as the boys examined every part of your naked figure. “Look at her glisten Eds,” Steve hummed. Eddie’s head popped beside his, “God look at how wet you are.” Steve dipped his finger into your wetness, letting it coat in your slick. “Please need you.” “Good girl using your words.” Eddie smilied. “Lets get you situated,” Eddie stood, pulling your legs off the edge of the bed, whispering something to Steve. He stripped from his boxers and socks, leaving him nude. Steve laid himself beside you, reaching over to pull you on top of him. Steve turned you around so you faced Eddie. “Be a good girl for us and ride him.” Eddie commanded. Steve forced your hips down onto his cock as a languished moan flew from your mouth. His hand snaked up your back, pushing you forward. You caught yourself on your arms, coming face to face with Eddie who stripped himself from his socks and boxers. 

Steve’s hips bucked up, rocking you with him. His cock reached deep in your core, easily hitting your g-spot. Your jaw hung open, quickly being stuffed full with Eddie’s cock. The two boys abused your holes, fucking you full. The three of you, moaning in unison. You clenched around Steve’s cock, gagging on Eddie’s. You screamed out a muffled cumming and came around Steve’s thick cock. They fucked you through your orgasm, chasing after their own. 

Steve pulled out, pushing the plush of your ass apart as you dripped onto his abdomen. Eddie tossed his head back, tangling his hand in your hair. Tears streamed down your face as Eddie moaned blissfully cumming into your mouth. His hips slowed their jerk, pulling his cock from your mouth. You swallowed his seed, letting your jaw hang open for Eddie to see. “Think we can get more out of her?” Eddie smirked. “Oh yeah.” Steve spoke breathlessly. Once again the boys switched positions, Eddie took to the bed, laying you between them. Eddie, who you now lay face to face with, kissed the tears on your cheeks. “We had her crying Stevie,” Steve’s large hands wrapped around your chest. He groped your tits as Eddie pressed his cock to your entrance. Your leg rest on top of Eddie’s, letting him easily slide in. You and Eddie moaned, the stimulation from Steve’s fingers on your breasts to Eddie’s cock bullying its way through your folds. Steve pressed his cock against your tight ass, prodding at your rim. Both boys pushed deep into your holes earning elicit moans and whimpers from you. “S’ too much, so sensitive. Please,” you choked out. Eddie and Steve refused to let up their pace, forcing another orgasm to rip through you. Your body rocked in rhythm with theirs, as waves of pleasure ran through your veins. Steve and Eddie stayed still, leaving their cocks to plug your poor abused holes. The three of you huffed, gasping for breath. “You did so good for us baby,” “So so good, sweetheart” Eddie agreed. 

“Thank you,” you croaked out horsley. “Any time sweet girl, want us to stay here?” Steve asked slowly, starting to pull out. “Need you in, stay in.” You begged.

“Gonna fall asleep on our cocks baby?” Eddie smiled, stroking the hair from your face. “Mhm,” you nodded, nuzzling into Eddie’s chest. Steve wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close. “We’ll clean you up a little later okay?” 

“Okay Stevie,” “Sleep well sweet girl,” “I will, Teddie.” You mumbled, drifting off in their arms. 

[romanarose]

Favorites of 2023

Hi! I've seen a lot people doing these so I thought I would too!

These are all sorts of Oscar Issac/Pedro Pascal fics that delighted me this year <3

I tried to keep it to one rec per author just because I have soooooo many friends with wonderful fics and blogs who deserve recognition

If yours didn't make it, NO FEAR you are still wonderful to me &lt;3

Everything is labeled properly in the fic so be warned, many of this contains dark!

3 series that I couldn't stop thinking about

Hungry Hearts By @atinylittlepain: The Last of Us, A Bruce Springsteen themed Joel series? SHEEEEEEEESH

Yearling by @justagalwhowrites : The Last of Us, Jackson!Joel and a victim of prolonged sexual assault. If you know me, you know I love a traumatized reader healing with the power of love and friendship

The Fractured Moon by @melodygatesauthor : Moon Knight, NON CON, dark moon boys is always a slay but the way Marc is so tortured and Steven is so needy?!?!?!?! Mels characterization of Steven may or may not have influenced my Ben in ROF

Three fics that rewired my brain

On the Waterfront by @beefrobeefcal : Triple Frontier, Now, I've always loved a tubby man with a belly (who else had a crush on Samwise Gamgee in LOTR?) BUT DARK FRANKIE?!?!?!?! Turned it into a full obsession.

I can be your pretty girl by @walkintotheriveranddisappear : The Last of Us, Wow, I devoured every single chapter!!! I thinka bout it so much, ESPECIALLY that scene with Tommy... I've never looked at a pool ball the same way.

Dancing With Wolves by @hon3yboy : Moon Knight, Now, I'm not the biggest monster fucker out there, but this?!?!?!?! WEREWOLF MARC SPECTOR??? Unwell about it.

3 times men jerking off was hot

Caught by @toxicanonymity : The Last of Us, I've mentioned in the authors note for Keep Cry'n that this fic inspired it, it's one I go back to allllll the time

Take Care of me Tonight by @missdictatorme : Moon Knight, Jake is horny and lonely and jerks of..... reader helps, and makes our boy feel special <3

Pent Up by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin : Narcos, Javi is... well... pent up, needs to let loose! and boy does he.

4 times it got gay bc something is wrong with me and I couldn't decide

Behind Enemy Lines by @astroboots : Triple Frontier, Y'all know how much I love this series, seeing as I wrote a fic for it XD but this chapter is something i always hold close <3

Captain of the team by @writefightandflightclub : Triple Frontier, MAAAAAANNNNN this fic is why I will never be the same as a person.

Trine by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction : Sucker Punch. Anyone who reader blue jones should be reading this. Incredible.

What if he never had to go? by @velocibeewords : Triple Frontier, The infamous series I read on my friend bachelorette weekend! So good I couldn't put it down, going so far as to read it at a casino XD Benny and Santi, my babies

3 times underused characters shined

Oxford Comma by @whatthefishh : The Two Faces of January, Tell me, how does someone take a character with almost no following and make a series so damn beloved by many??? Only Mona could.

My Ex's Tapes by @runa-falls : Lighteningface, Basil Stilt AND Jake Lockley??!?! God bless this mess hnnggggg

I'm Getting What's Mine by @winniethewife : The Card Counter, dub con, I think we as a society need more William Tell, and sensory deprivation to break down reader? Amazing.

3 times they talked dirty to me *trumpet noises*

Not a Survivalist Girl by @tightjeansjavi and @chaotic-mystery : The Last of Us, when they finally fuck??? HELLO?!?!! unreal

Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line by @millerscoffee : The Last of Us, Joel is so degrading and condescending in this I think about it so much it's fucking unreal.

Making Trouble by @juneknight : Moon Knight, The fic that completly fried the brains of the moon knight fandom. "You cried like I was killing you—except you were begging me not to stop" yeah. Yeah...

3 times there were three or more

The story of us by @pimosworld : Triple Frontier, This series has a special place in heart bc Priscilla said I influenced a lo of it with the characterizations and thats such a big honor. Priscilla Is so talented and I adore how she writes these guys... and the FishBen wins my heart

Eyes on Me by @cavillscurls : The Last of Us, Soft Joel? Tommy watches? AFTERCARE?!?!?! Y'all know how much I love aftercare.... I should read this again shouldn't I?

Run the Table by @katiexpunk : The Last of Us, MORE TOMMY JOEL THREESOME! MORE!!!! This one came out recently so its still fresh in my mind

3 Times I should NOT have been into that

No Soul to Sell @atticrissfinch : The Last of Us, NON CON V DARK, this is the fic that made me like... yeah I'm into piss. No doubt. It was so dark and hot ;-;

Plushies Series by @pedge-page The Last of Us, Haru knows how much I love this, and it was a toss up between this and their piss kink but seeing as I got that above.... plushes needs more love bc its so soft and domestic and horny <3

Plaything by @missannwinchester : The Last of Us, wow, I adored this fic… then I lost it!!!! Thank you to everyone who helped find it bc it’s one of my favs. I wanna be Joel’s lil doll he dresses up 🥺

3 times I said “this is underrated af”

No One But Me by @koshkamartell : The Last of Us, Are y'all tired of me talking about this fic yet? Koshka told me my series The Wrong Way inspired this so it's special to my heart <3

Safe by @criticallyacclaimedstranger and @apascalrascal : Triple Frontier, Cal has so many good Frankie one shots it was hard to pick, but this one is sooooo soft. We love Frankie being willing to listen and learn.

Through the Scope by @ssuperficialspacecadett : Triple Frontier, Y'all know I love a traumatized reader learning to heal, but his fic is fantastic bc it's a traumatized reader who has done a lot of the work already and is strong and brave as it is <3 Also, all 4 of the guys are her friends now which is the best way to have a fic

Thank you all soooooo much for all these amazing fics and for a great 2023! Well. Not so great, I had terrible time lol but y'all were my solace <3

If you feel so inclined, check out my best of year wrapped for both RomanaRose and Romana-after-dark

I'm not gonna say 2024 is my year, I leanred my lesson XD I am approaching 2024 with RESPECT. It will be the year it is.

[vilebird]

BOTH TOO MUCH AND NOT ENOUGH

1) "I have been found wanting, Natalie thought; I have made myself unacceptable and am not worthy." - hangsaman, by shirley jackson

2) text: "meat must be beaten brutal into tenderness, that any body softens with violence, she grinds salt into the carcass, like a wound, a memory". image: a carcass of beef, cleaned, with the ribs on prominent display, painted in oils and rendered in thick strokes of red, orange, tan and white, on a plain dark red background. the text is cutouts on top, dark red text on light tan. - Family Portrait as Unfinished Meal, by Torrin A. Greathouse and Le Bœuf by Chaim Soutine. collage put together by @invisiblemonstrosity

3) a pale hand crushing ripe red strawberries, green leaves still attached, on a plain white background. - apparently by ouiloved on flickr, but they seem to have deleted.

4) bust photo of a tan person with a spotlight on them outside in the dark, head turned down, shoulder length messy wet black hair obscuring their face. their hand is raised to their chest and they are wearing a white tank top. fake blood is splattered and wiped around their chest and mouth. - i can't actually find this one all my attempts lead back to unsourced tumblr posts if you know where its from. help me

5: "You have no one who has any sort of consideration for you. You have had patience and endurance, and what have they done for you? Half-killed you." - carlyle’s house and other sketches, by virginia woolf

6: "try your whole life to be righteous and be good, wind up on your own floor, choking on blood" - sept 15th 1983, by the mountain goats

7: "such a waste of a girl, such rumination. i am obsessive. i contain nothing but the replay. i am blood and blood and replay. i am please don't go." - i put the coffin out to sea, by lisa marie basile

8: an image of a partially bald baby bird begging for food, drawn in the desaturated greens and black of a trailcam, on top, the text reads "i am asking you for something i need", on bottom, the text reads "why is it so hard to give it to me?" - trailcam baby, by @quezify

9: "was i raised without love? / or was i born unloveable?" - @psychwarded

10: "I, in my corner, with my monstrous needs." - As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh, susan sontag

11: "oh, i know that i'm not whole, and sometimes feel the flies swarming, like much of me is rotten." - roadkill ode, chad abushanab

12: a photo of a cut tree where much of the centre is rotted from fungus, accompanied by the text: "heart rot in pine. heart rot is the softening of a pine trees resinous heartwood, caused by an in-dwelling fungus. not all pines have it, but those that do make the excavation of a tree-hole next cavity easier for the red-cockaded woodpecker."

13: "rot made a home inside my body." - i know it's from "bloat" but cant find the authors name again. i think it starts with a c?

14: photo of an abandoned house in shades of brown and beige and orange, the walls are wet and scuffed and the drywall has been torn open in places, exposing the old lath. - abandoned, by @jaggedplains

15: photo of a mouldy strawberry, fading from bright red to grey-green fluff - Strawberry Gray Mold disease stock photo, by MediaProduction on gettyimages

16: "you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they're gonna find out" - tumblr post by @twoheadedfawnn

17: "we are meat, we are potential carcasses,' he once said. 'if i go into a butcher's shop i always think it is surprising that i wasn't there instead of the animal." - francis bacon

18: "you dangle on the leash of your own longing; your need grows teeth." - speeches for dr frankenstein, by margaret atwood

19: photo of a python hanging off a roof coiled around a black and white bird, poised to eat it - i heard some noise on the roof this morning, by candycane7 on reddit

20: "all that matters is that you want to hurt me. all that matters is that you want me." - when rome falls, by yves olade

21: "god told me i was forgiven and then he split me open" - god is made of hunger and i am made of dreams, by katie maria

22: "but this is not about love. once a pig is hung and cut straight, cut from rectum to neck, step inside her death like it is a room: that is how to touch her now. the lord said, you must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses. then came the end of the rib." - oh let's just be hogs, by gregory emilio

23: photo of a strawberry cut in half with its leaves attached. it is bright red, steel knife wet. the background is bright white and plain. - cut strawberry by liz west on flickr

24: photo of a handmade cloth sculpture of a dead autopsied pigeon, red zipper like an incision opening to its empty red interior, small cloth and thread organs arranged around it. - pandora: city pigeon, by jessica bartram

25: '"u need a therapist" actually i need to be euthanized' - tumblr post by deactivated user @122mg

[redeyerhaenyra]

Hey, its ya girl, ominoose. Honoured to be here on opening night.

I would like to request Jake Lockley, Blue Jones and Basil Stitt with a curvy/chubby reader please! XOXOXO

Jake, Blue, Basil, with a curvy reader

Summary: Some headcanons for Jake, Blue, and Basil with a curvalicious reader

Warnings: Masturbation(male), possessiveness, unhealthy relationships in Basil's section, recording, thigh fucking, dollification(?)in Blue's section, a small bit of titty worship if you squint

Notes: MUSHI omg, yes yes yes 1000% yes, autistic bisexual curvy oscar isaac lovers RISSSEEE- I kinda got carried away with Basil's section hehehe but I hope you enjoy nonetheless :)

Jake Lockley

OK so if there's one thing we know about Jake, he is the opposite of shy, especially when it comes to his affections for you

Man lives and breathes to just look at you

The bastard will fucking pout if you're going out and you don't wear tight clothes

"But, hermosa, I wanna show you off, you're so hot. Everybody wishes they were you, prometo."

He's so proud you're his, there is nothing about you he doesn't love. Like I said earlier, he just likes to look at you.

All the curves and bumps, your soft tummy, your plush thighs, he can't get enough.

You will be sitting in his lap most of the time and this is non negotiable

It's half a sex thing for him and half that you're basically his plushie that he likes to cuddle, just having you sit pretty on his lap, all warm and squishy, makes him feel better

I think he'd definitely be into thigh fucking like c'mon now it's obvious

Feeling and seeing his dick between your squishy thighs just makes him go feral

I've said it before I'll say it again he fucking lives for making Marc and Steven jealous and recording himself fucking your thighs on Steven's phone for the poor guy to find later is just one of the many ways he does that

He talks alot too, just to rub it in further

"Guau, qué chica tan bonita. Hmm? You're so beautiful aren't you, baby? So perfect and squishy for me, I bet Marc and Steven wish they were here right now, huh? Don't you agree? Yeah, I bet you do."

Blue Jones

Oh no

If you thought Jake was bad you have a whole nother thing coming

Blue will PERSONALLY make sure all the costumes you wear on stage highlight just how curvy and plush you are.

But no one else is allowed to touch you

Oh no, that right's reserved for him and him alone

Tbh even when you're not performing, he'll want you to be wearing tight fitting shirts so he can stare at your boobies as you go about your day

Yeah he's a tit guy, don't get me wrong he loves all parts of your body but titties just do it for him

Him and Jake are very similar tbh, he also likes to show you off.

When high rollers are in the club you'll be sitting on his lap and no one else's

You're his doll, toy, barbie even

He likes to dress you up and play with you ;)

I'm serious he will pick out outfits for only him to see you in, dress you up in them, sit you on his lap and brush your hair

Like I said you're his toy, his stress ball, even

Just squeezing you will calm him down, any part of you, it's almost grounding to him

He talks to you in these moments, but it's just sort of general babbling about how shit his day was, and all you have to do is sit in his lap and let him nuzzle your breasts

"You're so good to me, bunny. I don't deserve you, do I? No matter what I do you're always here.. always so soft for me.."

Basil Stitt

Ah, everyone's favorite recluse

Look at the way this man lives and tell me he's not a porn addict please

YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT

So we've established that he's a greasy little basement dweller who watches porn on the regular

And we all know that most mainstream porn showcases sort of a singular body type (no hate to my skinny ladies btw ily mwah mwah)

Like it never occurred to him that he might find chubby ladies attractive

So when you, his new neighbour, moving into the apartment across the hall from him, knock on his door to say hi with the most wonderful tight leggings on he basically dies on the spot

The way your thighs looked so squishy and plush- he just wanted to grab them and sink his teeth into them

He tried to end the conversation as quickly as possible because he knew he would've ended up moaning out loud at any point

And then you turn around to walk away AND HE SEES YOUR ASS he's dead he's so dead

The next time he sees you, you're coming back from a night out, clearly a little tipsy, and wearing the shortest, tightest black dress he's ever seen, he dies a second time

His face is pressed up agaisnt the peephole in his door so he can watch you

You drop your keys at one point and bend over to pick them up and he basically cums in his pants untouched

Groaning and falling to his knees as his now softening dick rubs against the wet patch in his jeans

He makes it a point to watch you whenever he can now

He learns your schedule off by heart, it becomes his schedule. Probably has alarms set for it on his phone

Like "Oh , it's 9AM, time to watch my neighbour leave for work." "Oh its 8:30 time to watch her come home."

He really desperately wants to talk to you more but the poor guy is just so insecure :(

This cycle continues for a while.. until one fateful day, you come back from your weekly night out, in the same tight black dress that he loves so much on you... but this time... you're accompanied by a man

The both of your are similarly a little drunk, giggling and fumbling over the keys to your apartment

What? What's this? A friend, brother... partner? Basil silently begs you from behind the door to not let him into your apartment but oh god that's exactly what you do

He feels the tears running down his face before he realises he's crying, pleading for you to stop from behind his door.

His pleads turn to shouts as you close the door, sniffling and crying

Definitely fucks up his apartment again in his anguish

And when he's done that he angrily jerks off, to get back at you? He's not sure. He doesn't even know if you're having sex with the guy, or if it's just a friend you're letting crash at your place, but he's so obsessed with you he can't imagine it being any other reason that you would "betray" him like that

His poor cock is red and sore and he realises he shouldn't have tugged on it so hard 🥺 poor baby

He spends the next day crying in bed, it feels like you've dumped him when you're both barely more than acquaintances but by this point he's formed a sort of parasocial relationship with you, and your soft tummy, that he can't get over the prospect of you even looking at other men

And so, it's decided. He's going to go, knock on your door, and talk to you.... tomorrow. One day. He will do it! Just.. not today.

[benslittlestarkiller]

Vladimir Makarov Headcannon Imagines

This is dedicated to those who wanted me to write a Vladimir makarov story 💋

Vladimir is a traditional man. He shows his woman respect

He demands respect from you, too, however

If you disrespect him, it’s like a fun game for him

He gets to punish you

He makes sure the punishment is not only fun for him, but fun for you as well

Everything is consensual between you

And he also likes when you’re on top… though he never emit it…

Vladimir take you on dates to expensive restauraunts. You can order whatever you want

Total sugar daddy material. He buys you dresses and expanto sive jewellery,

he take you to Prsfda, VChannel, Gucchi, , Her,mires,

All the nicest stores in Moscow

You never have to work a day in you life with him, cus he will take CARE of you.

Yiu do NOt have to voook, clean or anything elsoe

He hires a maid for you, she do everything

You call him “Vladdy” or “Vladdy Daddy’

Vladmir stoood on the balcony of his expensive high rise penthouse apartment suite condominium umm

He never like to see you wear revealing deresss. Your body for his eye only. NO man loo at yoo

OR ELSE BREAK KNEE…..

You came up behind he and wrap ur fingers around he waist gently feeling his hardened muscles and sclupted booty, his firm body tough from battles he had won during his time in the military when he was younger, the training had formed him in to the hardend virilie form he had now.

“What is it baby girl” he asked in Russian accentw

He accent make your coochie tighten with need for he hardened thivk veiny bulging cook

When Flaccid it was like a Makarov pistole.

But when standing at attention like right now it was big as AK-47

“Vladdy I want you” you said in a breathless voice

“I want you too baby girl” he picked you up

And set you down effortlessly on the balcony railing 50 stories up

He grips youe thighs in his strong hands spreading your legs as wide as the black sea

Your princess parts already just as wet as the sea 2, u panties drooping weet and socked with need for Valdimie

“Ohhh please daddy I need it, my coochie is tingling”

Ur word gets hum going with intense adn debilitatng nerf NEED

So sorry guys news device so HWSF. t hard to tupe type with :C

His dick slid against your intimage area, his dripping essence mingling with yours

He slode your panties aasdide and pushed the tip, like the Onion dome of St Basils Chuch, against

You dripping aching cunt.

He take tim e filling you slowly so you fee each inch adn centimeter of his engorged and throbbing member

Your head falls back in exsctasy “OJHHHk….” you manned

nd he MAnned too. TThe feleling of. f your atight wales

Encasing him and sucking his deeper

He filled you deeply until he breached the sensitive barrier of your cachinh aching cervix

“OHHHHH Please full me deeper VlDDDY!”

“Oh baby gur yuo felt so sgoood……. ugh ugh ugh”

Each moan of his pleasure made you wall clench, squeesing him tight like squeezing into a pair of jeans after eating a generous bowl of borscht.

“oh, Bladimir, I can;t i htink i’m gonna……”

You body shakwes violently as you come on his virlie cup

“AHHHH@@!!!!! Bladdy!!!! Vlad@@!!!!”

The feelungb of u tight geat him close t o the edge of falling off thr edge of bluss

But h held back,

His trusts becme hurdle nd fatter as he is losing himswlf in plosure

His cock swells like a sponge left in the sink during washing up after dinner

But you didn’t knew about it acuz your maid did it

Hoa beethunf becined eruged BS

And thun he cams inside your

Hole

Thick hefty spurts fill your waiting womb like a bowl waiting to be filled with borscht

Or a pelmeni dumpling being filled with a serving of meat and veggies

His cum drips our off you down your leg and then down off the belcuny into the city street of Moscow Russia

Cum fell like sno soft and wet onto the winter city

Your love dripping for all too seee

Even the maid

As she cum alung to clean the evideance away offf the balcunty

That day and night Vladimir Jr was conceived in a flurry of pission

Ladimurlove his sun

Vladimir jr

He was a good boy raised by his loving mother ans father

You love him. Raise him to fight in war

The wing

[ask-milo-suzuki]

There's a new girl at the mansion. Her name's Milo, a little girl with cat ears. It's been a few weeks since she arrived. Basil was intrigued by her, but decided to wait until now, because she had apparently just come from an uncle, whatever it was. But she was pretty beaten up.

"Hey, are you new here? My name's Basil"

A/N Milo kocho au! Also they're BABIES!!! So cute- I'm gonna have to make art of them 🥺

*She jumps slightly at his sudden appearance but quickly relaxes* “Y-yes.. I-I’m Milo.. I-it’s nice to meet you Basil…” *Her voice is very soft and timid*

[happypotato48]

Only Boo! EP 3 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

After one week break because of Songkran we're finally back with our blessed cute BL. this week episode had everything, cringe flirting lines, moo randomly started a music video for no reason, best boy pining, and a love confession after only 3 episodes.

Awwwww! he so cute! i'm loving this "welp, i guess i'm in love" kind of energy. no drama no angst, head empty, only kang!

Moo! it's 3-4 AM in probably a busy wet market. the aunties don't have time or energy for your bullshits right now! also that's a Lemon basil not a Sweet basil but i get it the sub needed to make the pun work in english.

This baby is so cringe he gonna make all the dad jokes enjoyers proud.

Baby i love you but you need to stop bothering random uncles and aunties with your shenanigans. this whole sequence is very cute though and i liked the song.

You did nothing wrong!. Ta waen just needs to be more responsible for his own dream and to not expecting way too much from other people.

You all are cutes! stop it, its too much, my heart gonna burt from how bright and pink this show made me feel.

Yes kang! you tell him. look some men are worth the afford but i really loved this message about how it's good to not giving everything for love and lose focus on other things. cause like, dicks come and go but educations are forever baby!

Girl you should've smacks that little hoe. some boys deserve it, that how we prevent them from growing to be stupid man children.

I don't care how beautiful this place is nobody can make me go into that water.

Oh yes. the gay headwashing, the most romantic bl thing ever in my opinion. this and the princess pickup are my two favorite guilty pleasures in BLs.

Argh!! boy scout jump scare. SO....... i kinda have a stupid boy scout uniform related trauma, that i will not be elaborate >.>

This is why you should've kill those mosquitoes!! kid these days and their lack of knowledge about dengue fever, smh.

A confession after a gay sponge bath 😏 this boy had moves.

This show continued to be is very very kawaii and brainless. i'm now both dread and excite for the angsts and dramas that will befall our adrokable protagonists in the future.