#batman the war of jokes and riddles

[comicsiswild]

Batman (2016) #26

[matildaverse]

Okay, I had an idea to do my take on how Eddie got his scar. Essentially, my HC combines Batman annual #4 and War of Jokes and Riddles. The asylum hurt him and he wanted to make a funky ? of his scars to kinda reclaim power over his silly little body. Just kinda like power as a motif throughout his villain journey obviously starting with the papa abuse plot and his desperate attempts to gain power over Gotham and specifically Batman.

Unfortunately, I ran out of time and didn’t convey ANY of that he just looks like a messy whore.

[riddle-me-ri]

Riddlers Reacting to Reader Wearing A “TikTok” Dress

A/N: okay so a few things:

1) This was one of my first original ideas for headcanons when I first decided to write fanfics again, so I’m excited to feel confident enough to write it rip (this is also one of the more self indulgent ideas I’ve had so bare with me)

2) Heidi Lavon owns my tiktok, so it’s my job to bless you with her content here’s her in the dress:

3) It’s called the Carmen Dress and it has a $300 price tag on god save queens

4)  As I mentioned this is 100% self indulgent, so sorry for ALL the errors, this idea has been brewing in my mind for months until I couldn’t hide it anymore, so if it reads like rambles…that’s why lol

( Also, I mention it in only one or two headcanons, but ALL these bastards would ask if it comes in green (unfortunately it doesn’t but I’ll be damned if a couple these guys won’t try and make it happen) also this all takes place in private)

Trigger Warnings: heavy suggestiveness (I mean...look at the dress) and strong language (I have a sailor mouth, sorry not sorry)

Batman the Animated Series Riddler:

- Congratulations, you’ve made this goofball speechless

- No literally, man looks like a fish out of water

- Eyes wide, mouth opening and closing. Stuck between catching his breath and trying to form a coherent sentence. 

- Oh God, you’re walking closer to him?!

- The man’s face is as red as a tomato and he’s as hot to the touch as a furnace

- He’s finally able to start rambling off compliments

- You’re stunning, ravishing, gorgeous, enchanting…

- He’s a chuckling mess as you wrap yourself around him

- Becomes speechless again as he realizes just how little you’re actually wearing

- Your body is at the mercy of this measly fabric

- It takes him a minute, but he gets his suavity back once the surprise wears off

- You are beautiful there was never any doubts about that, but now that you’ve teased him he wants to see all of you

Capullo/Zero Year Riddler:

- Well, hellloooo~~

- The fuck you’ve been hiding this piece for?

- He absolutely loves what’s going on in the front, straight up licking his lips.

- The back could use some work though, not nearly as revealing as it could be

- You better hold this dress close to you, he’s not opposed to making some “alterations”

- Does it come in green? 

- Adores showing you off in it, look how hot my partner is! 

- He appreciates the piece, it accentuates everything he loves about you, and can love a good tease

- But he also thinks you just being in your underwear would suffice

- Or really nothing at all

- (wait omg are you commando right now in the dress?)

- Ow, don’t hit him that hurt!

The War of Jokes and Riddles (twojar) Riddler:

- Oh shit

- Sexy and sophisticated, he’s here for it!

- Reveals just enough to be enticing but hides the right amount to tease

- His hands are instantly caressing the sheer parts of the dress

- He’s already mapping out what the dress shows so he’s sure to leave hickeys later (or right now)

- Also asks if it comes in green, possessive buff leprechaun prick.

- If you mention there are similar dresses available in different varieties, he’s all here for it.

- Like, babe, you have his card and bank information, you don’t need to ask (you didn’t when you bought this dress, so what the hell?)

- Will absolutely show you off to literally anyone and everyone, so better not be shy! 

- They can look but if they even try to touch they’re dead.

Gotham City Sirens Riddler:

- Another connoisseur of the sexy and sophisticated look the dress provides. 

- He’s a proud grinning bastard

- Inquires where you got the dress and just how long were you going to keep this a secret from him

- Oh you’re just trying it on?

- Let him help you take it off~

- What? He’s being a gentlemen! He is reformed you know. 

- (but not in that category)

- Hands are immediately on you and show no sign of pulling them away

- Fingers running along the track of black fabric on your back

- If you’re his assistant at his private investigator firm, he is debating possibly changing your dress code

- Too much? Yes, you’re probably right, this view is for his eyes only

- Maybe you two could set up a private visit to his office though, hm?

Dano Riddler:

- He’s stunned

- Frozen like a deer in headlights

- His brain is short-circuiting between how gorgeous you look but also how the dress is even like fitting right now?

- How is it even on your body? Wait that’s sheer material? He thought that was just skin

- His face blooms in a bright red when you invite him to touch the material so he can feel it. 

- Eyes constantly raking over your form up and down, up and down.

- When he finally finds the strength to go up to you and touch you, he’s gone.

- Roaming his hands up and down, all around your body. 

- He’s absolutely breathless, constantly taking sharp inhales every once in awhile

- He’s just in awe, he already thinks you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, but you were able to surprise him yet again.

- No one else is allowed to see you in this but him, he wants this to just be for him (and you’re more than happy to oblige) 

- (suck it, bruce wayne! My partner is more gorgeous than any of your flings!) 

Gotham Riddler:

- Oh hello there~ (calm down obi wan)

- His eyes are wide to saucers and his mouth falls open

- But only for a second, before he’s absolutely grinning like a cat that caught the canary

- He walks up to you, his full attention on you. 

- Warm brown eyes scanning your figure up and down, almost like a predator to prey

- But the way you look is absolutely killing him in the best way

- He’s committing this image to his mind, you know he has a photographic memory

- He genuinely thought with his times at GCPD and his experiences as the Riddler, he’s seen it all

- Like Dano Riddler, he’s quite impressed with how you manage to surprise him with your beauty, yet again.

Arkhamverse Riddler:

- Deadass did a double take.

- He walked past you, barely giving you a glance (like usual), but he must’ve seen your lack of clothing in his peripheral.

- What’re you trying to do? Distract him? You know how much that frustrates him!

- Once the haze of annoyance he’s usually in goes away as he takes in the rest of the dress…

- The man’s a stuttering puddle. 

- “W-W-What are you wearing? I-It’s not even a dress! N-No! I…I do like it..”

- You give him a small 360 twirl so he can get a full view.

- You can’t help but grin at the sharp gasp of air he took and tried to hide.

- Man is struggling, quick wrap your arms around him, his bravado is DOWN

- His tired eyes have glossed over and he’s absolutely puddy in your hands

- Once his brain starts sparking again, he shucks off his gloves so his rough hands can touch your soft skin. 

- He gasps again at just how little is hidden and how thin the material is.

- Stunning, radiant, gorgeous…so many words but they fall short as you take his breath away

- Congrats, you’ve done something even the Bat has never done…rendered Edward Nygma absolutely speechless

Telltale Riddler:

- This ornery asshole.

- He’ll rake his eyes over you and give you a little “hmph”

- He’ll shrug it off, he doesn’t see the reason for it when you can just parade around in your underwear and get the same reaction

- But don’t let it fool you, he is absolutely warming up and “getting” up as you saunter around the room

- He does appreciate the cheekiness of the dress, revealing just the right amount to make you still wonder

- He’ll keep up his indifferent front for as long as he can.

- Until you straddle the puzzle grandpa. 

- He has no choice but to appreciate it now, how what little fabric hugs your skin, and just how little you’re actually wearing

- Just don’t tell him the price tag, sweetheart, he’ll have an absolute boomer fit.

- ($300? You can just walk around the lair naked for free?!)

Young Justice Riddler:

- Uhh, yeah no he’s dead.

- Congrats you’ve killed him without laying a finger on him

- Shaking him might work…

- Once he’s conscious, he’s still sort of brain dead. 

- His lisp and stutters are amplified to the -nth degree

- He’s not even making words at this point. 

- You’ve broken him, way to go

- You try to reach out for him and talk to him

- Poor baby will literally scurry away

- H-he doesn’t deserve this, to see you dressed like this, looking so stunning

- W-what do you mean you’re wearing this for him?

- He barely feels worthy to kiss you, hold you, see you in a bikini/swimwear

- But this?? Really?

- It’s going to take him a minute, but once the initial shock is over, he’ll warm up to touching you and interacting with you in the dress

- He is torn between asking you to wear this only for his eyes or wear it when y’all go out

- Like he wants to show you off so he can see the gorgeous partner he pulled, but also like doesn’t want you to garner any unwanted attention (n-not that he wouldn’t protect you..but..like…you’ve seen him)

[starrycomics]

No because why is Kite Man becoming my favourite batman rogue? Absolutely ridiculous, it's like unironically rooting for Condiment Man

[emma-d-klutz]

Ok the explosion of affection I felt immediately at Batman Unburied's Riddler being a condescending little jackass made me, like, really click in my mind how I feel about the character in a way that I can word now. And keep in mind, this is just going to be MY personal feelings and preferences and not real character analysis with reasoning behind it, so like if you feel differently, I'm not saying your take is wrong.

We good? Ok.

I think Riddler's best as an ally rather than an antagonist.

Why? Because he feels most like himself to me when he's just a little guy. A silly little billy with a genius intellect that he wholeheartedly devotes to riddles and puzzles and escape rooms just because that's genuinely what he’s passionate about and how he wishes to spend his time, and he will steal, hack, blackmail, and even take hostages as a means alone to this life's calling. He is a person who needs everyone everywhere to know all the time that he is the smartest and cutest person in the room or so help him god. He deeply loves Batman/Bruce Wayne in the way one who unironically called themself a “sapiosexual yandere” an online rp forum back when they were 14 deeply loves, and he will throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get enough attention. He roasts and gets roasted. He annoys and gets annoyed. He is just a funny little guy to me!

Now here's the issue:

In Gotham, rogues can be funny. Goofy - wacky even! It is in many ways encouraged. Securing your own campy gimmick is integral to getting into the rogue business there, and they mean it, the campier the better. HOWEVER, a rogue must still be seen as a threat. A real threat. Otherwise, you are nothing but a third string gag character.

So what is one to do with Eddie, who is a main and major rogue of Gotham's gallery so high ranking and OG he can contract and subjugate lower level villains into his plans and who is also just a funny little guy with motives that do not necessitate mass killings or disabling psychological torture? Well, I have seen properties tackle this by making him into a real threat with new or expanded end goals, and I have also seen properties decide to make him pathetic and snubbed, sadly relegated to a dejected gag.* And I don't particularly dislike or disrespect these as a whole. I'm more lukewarm to them, I guess. They still have my affection, but it is proportionally incomplete.

But when you make him an ally?

Well now! That’s a horse of a different color!!!

When Riddler’s an ally he can be competent and taken seriously while also being entirely a silly little guy who is insulting you and bragging. Full bombastic personality and full respectable skillset. AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! When he works as an ally, I go from “Eh, it’s the Riddler,” to becoming putty in this character’s gloved little jazz hands! And it’s not even about if he’s actually a reformed “good guy” or not. It’s entirely about letting him be powerful without making him scary. Er, to the audience. (You know, like how we know the Batfam scares the shit out of everyone, but as the audience, we’re not scared; we just think it’s funnier and cooler, because we’re in on it? I realize I’m overexplaining, and I thank you if you have read this ramble this far.)

I think comparable examples are Catwoman and Harley Quinn. Big, big name villainesses, yes. But Selina has always been more of a career thief than a coldblooded killer, and since she has a romance with the Bat, we don’t think of her as anything but an ally even when she continues to act as a rogue. She is allowed to cool and respected as a character without having to be the kind of crime you expect Batman to spend his time prioritizing. Harley, on the other hand, seems much more prone to murder now and forever, but because we always knew it was something she had been pulled into by the Joker, the audience already kind of saw her as an ally, and she often is one. Now she’s just a freewheeling antihero with a girl gang of roller derby baddies and other villainess/ex-villainess friends, associates, and love interests. And she’s still herself! She is just a funny little chick with a M.D.! She is bombastic and adorable and still very much able to pull her shit off. She annoys and is annoyed. A gremlin girl if you will. She is the easiest parallel, and I do not think it is pure happenstance that one of the times Eddie turned coat, she was involved in (and all the sirens were clients to) his detective agency. Nor, would I say, is it a coincidence that Eddie and Selina have also had a longterm friendship that’s-sometimes-slightly-more. Similar things are going on here, yaknowhaddimean?

But for some reason, Eddie’s switch to ally is the one of those three that just never sticks. And I have no theories as to why at this time. I just think, personally, that being a weird little grey-area character that is usually on the same side of the heroes is the best place for him. It is where he can best express being both a worthy rival and a little guy with glasses. You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you? Oh, you would. Ok.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, and goodnight. 

*Shout out to instances that split the difference and go, "The Riddler will mislead Batman into thinking he's a real and present danger, but the punchline is no humans were harmed and he has tricked the Batman into playing riddles with him and hanging out." Those feel like an achievable, believable compromise and also are always funny/cute.

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

I'm reading War of Jokes and Riddles. It is funny.

[outletcrash]

reading the war of jokes and riddles (HORRIBLE name btw) and that sad dude was KITEMAN??? FUCKING KITEMAN???? I STARTED TEARING UP A LITTLE OVER KITEMAN???????????????

this crop is unbearably horrible but THE SILLY CATCHPHRASE IS THE WORDS HIS DYING SON THOUGHT WOULD SEND HIM TO HELL????

poor fucking kiteman. side note RIDDLER PUT THEM CHESTICLES AWAY

[quandaryqueen]

Hello! Just dropped by to say I love your blog and I was wondering if I could get some Riddler (any you want) flustering his s/o. Thanks!

Pushing buttons, pulling strings

Edward Nygma X Reader

Each Riddlemen has their own way of flustering their favourite person. Varies from version to version and here they are:

💚 Young Justice

His way of flustering you? If he's not trying to replicate people he sees with their flimsy pick-up lines, flattery. He isn't the most fluent in romance talk, most especially when he can barely string words together in a coherent sentence when he himself is losing his bearings before his favourite person, twiddling his thumb, averting his gaze, oblivious to the red spreading across his face and neck. But if there's something he's good at, it's being observant, being able to recognise talent in people and telling them how they're doing a great job, even if he is massively flustered.

"You... You're so good at doing this. The way you manage details so intricately even if some might not notice them, it's just so unique and special. I hope you know that the others will love your work when you think that your work is nothing but subpar, well that simply isn't true. You're the greatest one I've ever seen and I hope you don't give up on it." If it were even possible, his face darkens with red. "S-sorry! I tend to... Ramble. I'm sorry for wasting your time!"

💚 The War of Jokes and Riddles

💚 Batman Unburied

Idk about you, gentles and ladymen, this man-- oh this man. I am an independent woman, but this man has the ability to make me submit with a single stare.

Now this, this man has a way with words and body language around his favourite person. Lingering touches, hushed whispers of intimacy, praises, spoiling you with gifts... He has a competition with himself on how to make you burn from where you're standing. It's just his general confidence that makes him attractive, and of course he himself is an attractive individual. He knows which buttons to push, and which strings to pull to unravel you.

"You've done a stellar performance, my love. Know that you'll be rewarded... Handsomely."

His affections are easy to miss, especially when he gives you no time to process them and when you're really caught off guard. His compliments comes as a passing comment in the middle of a conversation that doesn't correlate with the topic at hand.

"This guy is as arithmetically incompetent as a mule, I swear to god if he doesn't get this right, I am revoking my membership-- looking ethereal as always, Y/N-- anyways, so I just paid yesterday right? Now the guys are asking me to....."

You've yet to process whatever he said, whether you were hearing things or not. But when he notices you freeze, trying to process what he just said, he pauses and grins at you.

"My, my, are you that flattered that you stopped listening to me? Well, I'd give you a pass, since you're cute."

[pumpkinfreak]

I get to make a least one non-horror-related post

This is a horror blog, but I'm going to talk about this anyway. Whoever decided on that open shirt design for the Ridder, whoever wanted Hollister brand Riddler, you're not a bad person but your sins will haunt you

Gave him an open shirt but left the bowler hat. You know what I am kink-shaming, it's wrong and you're wrong for liking it.

[avengerraven]

I think we’re going to get the War of Jokes and Riddles in the Reeves’ Batman trilogy. Hear me out! I will start with my weakest point which is that comic canon puts the War of J and R in the timeline of Zero Year which is a modernized version of Year One which The Batman movie was inspired by. Anyone who doesn’t know, War of J and R is a chaotic feud between Joker and Riddler after Joker tries to kill Riddler. Ed declares war on Joker and the two build their own armies out of their Arkham allegiances. The only way they’ll agree to call it off is if Batman surrenders himself to execution. Reasons I think it would be a smart story choice- War of J and R Batman has a confessional vibe to it which would fit well into the narrative journaling Bruce does in the movie. We’d get to see Gotham rebuilding after the flood and dealing with two rogues on the loose in the chaos. Following that, War of J and R includes a serious romance with Selina Kyle. Another weak point, because Bat and Cat are often in a relationship depending on the comic you pick up. We’d also get to see the relationship Joker and Riddler formed in prison develop and devolve in the world outside Arkham. It’s a great use of many rogues all at once and an excellent opportunity for cameos which Hollywood loves right now. It’s also another chance for Bruce to sacrifice himself for the greater good, which he loved doing in The Batman. He also loves Gotham more than life in this series, so it makes sense for him to give himself up in this version of Batman. Also, remember his no guns rule? Yeah, we test that real good in War of J and R.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Sometimes I still have nightmares over Batman Prelude to The Wedding: Batgirl vs Riddler.

Almost all my problems with Rebirth Riddler come from that comic (is him my favorite Riddler? Not even close, but besides this specific story Eddie is still fun and I like him) and there were soo many ways to make it a good story. In five minutes I got three different - not necessarialy good - better ideas.

Firstly they could've just made it the start of an Oracle short series, it would solve a lot of problems in characther motivation. Make so Riddler discovered that there is a misterious voice that helps the bats and is actually the one solving his riddles and he grows obcessed over this voice. He sees them as matching intelects and being outcasts and he needs to uncover everything about them and so he lays traps. It becomes a story about Riddler losing it as he starts to question his self value in contrast to Barbara who is rediscovering her self-value as she discovers she can be more than a supporter and actually do hero work on her own even with her disabilities. I won't explain much more because while I think it could be great and could adapt some of the original story ideas it doesn't work as a Prelude to the Wedding story.

Second they could've taken the creepy crush and made it as Edward having a weird missplaced obcesion with family and done an Spoiler story with him creeping on the Browns. This one is mostly because seeing BatCat as part of the dream for a nuclear family is one of the few original angles it wasn't already explored in the Prelude stories.

Thirdly and the one who makes more sense in a Prelude to Wedding story: make it about Joker. And I don't mean changing Riddler to Joker or even featuring Joker in the story. Only that Joker is the motivation. Rebrith Riddler, specially in the whole BatCat wedding saga has a clear admiration for Joker that can even be seing as an unresciprocated crush, he planned his own violent defeat at the hands of Kite Man in WoJaR so Joker could laugh again for god sake.

For some reason this specific phase of Rebirth Riddler would do anything for Joker. And Riddler vs Batgirl even mentions that Joker did kidnapp Edward at some point to rant about Batman getting maried. If I recall corectly it was the explanation for how Ed knew Batman was getting maried. So leen on that. Joker is unhappy. All the Prelude shows that.

So Edward's solution is to try to antagonize other members of the bat-family to show Joker that he can always find a new nemesis. His whole showdown with Batgirl is about showing that they don't need Batman, in this version Ed's ramblings about love show his views of love as equasions and how everyone can be easily replaced. He choose Batgirl because she fitted most boxes on the things normal people would like about someone - just like Bruce, because Edward has no idea why Joker likes him and does what he does when he doesn't known, specially with emotion, he analyses it objectvaly and with data - and he is basically testing her to confirm his theories and turn her and Joker into nemesis. Barbara is of course horrified by all this. She wins and for a second Edward is elated. Because it was never about winning it was about proving that Barbara was good enough for Joker. Until Barbara says that if everyone can be replaced and love is a equation why didn't he let go of Joker yet. And he realises he did all that for nothing. If he didn't gave up Joker than why would Joker be any different and give up Barman? Barbara just like in the original tale ends up learning nothing except weird things about Riddler's psyque and just having a horrible day. But at least no one creeped on her for one day and then the universe forgot about it.

[comicsiswild]

Batman (2016) #28

[elise-51-blog]

So Kite Man and Batman walk into a bar...

This one's kind of a long time coming. Originally meant to be written for 2022 DC Rare Character Weekend @rarecharacterweekend, life got in the way, and I've never been a quick writer. This Kite Man is that from Tom King's book, not the cheeseball Harley Quinn character (whom I also love).

Fathers and sons, grief, loss. But I try for the jokes too.

There's a Jason Todd & Bruce chapter, here's a snippet for the Jason lovers:

And at some point in there, this scared, angry little kid had looked at Bruce like he’d been glad Bruce had come into his life; like as long as Bruce’d been there to scoop this outrageous little tire-thief up and give him a home, give him pride, purpose, dignity. Been there to show him a little kindness, a little decency, a little love–well, even the mantle of Batman couldn’t compare to something like that. 

God, he’d been so funny too. 

See, you just ain’t punched enough assholes tonight, B, that’s why you’re so fuckin’ bitchy.

Focus, Robin.

Only if you focus on not being a little bitch–

Swear jar’s getting awfully full at home–

It don’t count on patrol.

Yes it does. And it’s twice the charge with poor grammar.

Agent A said it don’t count if you provoke me–

If I provoke you?!

Yeah, if you’re on your period for the night and you go triggering my trauma and shit, I don’t owe nothin’, Old Man. Alf says–

NAMES, Robin.

Whatever, man, Agent A says to let him know if you traumatize me–

YOU asked ME to go on patrol tonight, you wouldn’t shut up about it–

Yeah, but ain’t nothin’ goin’ on, I’m bored.

And that’s traumatizing you, being bored.

Yep.

[riddle-me-ri]

Scenario with various riddlers: Riddler gives his s/o a kiss on the cheek. Just before he is about to leave they say, "you missed." In a nonchalant way. While Eddie is standing there confused, his s/o walks up to him and cups his face, "here let me show you." And then they give him a big ol smooch on the lips.

A/N: AAAHHHH you've done it anon, you've done it rip, you've killed me. Eeeee I love this idea so much it's so soft and sweet it made me squeal like a teenager and kick my feet in glee. I live for soft moments with the mean green beannsss also cause of that…this is stupid long. Sorry not sorry

Riddlers x Reader - You Missed Me, Now You Gotta Well…You Know

Arkhamverse Riddler:

After finally getting him to sleep for more than two hours and talking him into eating a decent meal. It made sense that once he woke up and ate breakfast the next morning, he would be making a beeline back to his shop. 

"Well, time to head back to work…I guess I did need this…supposed break…"

You rolled your eyes, knowing this is as much gratitude as you'll get out of him. "You did need it and you're welcome." You stood up from your chair and walked with him to the door of his workshop. 

"I'll come back up in a few hours." Edward said as he turned to face you. He pursed his lips, hesitating. 

"Okay, Eddie." You smiled, stealing glances between his eyes and lips. 

Edward leaned into the side of your face and gave you a gentle kiss on your cheek. You slightly giggled as his stubble tickled against your skin. 

He's about to turn back to face the door. His hand barely turned the doorknob, when you spoke up.

"Eddie, you missed!"

"What do you mea-?" He started to ask but was interrupted by you grabbing the sides of his face and colliding your lips with his. 

When you finally let go, you were giggling at the absolute bright red blush on his face. 

“See? Wasn’t that better?”

Reevesverse/Dano Riddler:

“Off to work already?” You were wiping away the sleepies from your eyes, when you notice Ed coming out of the bathroom. He was dressed in a white collared button up shirt, tie, and dress pants. 

Ed chuckled at your adorable sleepy state. He went over to your side of the bed. “It’s 7:30, sweetheart. I gotta go.”

You let out a dramatic pathetic whine. “Eddie, it’s Saturday…”

“I know, I know. But this case we’re working on is high priority at the office. The sooner I come in and solve it, the sooner I can come back home, okay?”

You pouted. “Mm…okay.” You crossed your arms, not annoyed at Ed, just his stupid unappreciative job.  

Edward smiled softly as he leaned in and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

“You didn’t do it right!”

That wasn’t the response he was expecting. “W-what do you mean?”

“You’re supposed to kiss me here,” you tapped your lips. “I’ll show you.” 

You stood up on your knees and pulled him closer to you by his tie. You planted a big kiss on his lips. Poor man was shocked for a minute, but was able to recover fast enough to return the kiss. 

Reluctantly you pulled back from his lips. “Have a good day at work, Eddie.” 

Gotham Riddler:

“Hey, Eddie, did you want to have dinner at my place tonight?” You offered. Your focus was on the filing cabinet, as your fingers flipped through the tabs, finding the proper home for a file Ed just returned. 

“I-S-Sure! I’d love that.” 

You two have been dating for the past few weeks and things were going well. He had already shown you his home, you figured it was fair you showed yours. 

“Sweet. It’ll be my first time cooking for company in my new place, it’ll be…interesting to the say the least.” You finally slid the folder to it’s rightful place. When you shut the cabinet, you turned your head to the side to see Ed yet again closer than he was initially. 

“I can’t wait.” He said sweetly. You notice his eyes dart from yours to down to his feet. He also occasionally bit his bottom lip. 

“Is there something on your mi-”

He placed a chaste kiss to your cheek. Both of your faces started tinting red at your cheeks. 

“I-I…sorry…that-that probably wasn’t appropriate for the work place.” He muttered nervously. 

“Probably not, but you did it wrong.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He was fairly certain there was no mistaken a sweet kiss to the cheek. 

Until you cupped one side of his face, your thumb gently stroking where his skin began warming up. You brought his head down closer to yours as you stood up to meet his lips with yours in the middle. You could feel him take a sharp intake of air through his nose, it took him a minute before he finally kissed back.

When the two of you finally broke apart. It took everything in you not to giggle at the wide-eyed goofy look on his face. 

“You okay, Eddie?” 

He nodded, “n-never better.” 

Batman the Animated Series Riddler:

It was a peaceful night in. It was one of Edward’s first nights back home after getting out of Arkham. Needless to say you were glued to his side for most of the day, not that he was complaining. He held you just as tightly in return. 

Dinner was finished. The dishes were drying. You two were cuddling on the couch, watching a late night game show. 

After a little over an hour, Ed decided to get up from the couch. 

“Where are you going?” You asked, almost pitifully. 

Ed chuckled. “Just to the bathroom, darling. I’ll be right back!” 

“Quick kiss first!” You giggled. 

Ed shook his head in disbelief, but he obliged you by leaning over and kissing your cheek. 

“EEHRR! Wrong!” You said. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down and gave him a kiss on the lips. 

Edward laughed into the kiss, but returned it with fervor nonetheless. When you pulled back from his lips. You both chuckled at each other. 

“Does my prize include freedom?” 

“Ugh, fine, I guess. Just hurry back!” You playfully scoffed before taking your seat back on the couch. 

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

“And just where do you think you’re going?” You asked defiantly. 

Edward was once again trying to walk out on his post-coital cuddle duties. 

“I’ve gotta go, babe. Besides you know I’m not all into that aftercare stuff.” He defended. 

You groaned. It was true he did say that from the jump, but would it hurt him every once in awhile. You scoff at the thought, yeah it might, may even kill him one day to actually be just a smidge vulnerable. 

“Ugh, fine, whatever.” You waved your hand in a shooing motion. You flopped over to your side of the bed, with your back facing him. You pulled the covers up over yourself to hide from him. 

You were confused when the room got quiet and you didn’t hear the familiar sound of the door closing. 

You felt someone tap on your shoulder. You turned to see Ed standing with a stupid lopsided grin on his face. 

“What? I thought you were oh so busy?” 

“I may be selfish, but I’m not entirely cruel.” He leaned down and left a faint of a peck on your cheek. 

You rolled your eyes. “Nuh-uh you’re not gonna half-ass my kisses either!” You grabbed the lapels of his jacket and crashed your lips onto his. Ed didn’t miss a beat, as he began licking the bottom of your lip, non-vocally asking for entrance. 

However instead of usually obliging him, you tore your lips away from his. 

You fake yawned. “I’m tired, let me sleep and you do whatever it is you gotta do.” 

Ed grumbled in annoyance. You stayed motionless until you heard the door closed. Once it closed, you let out a tiny fit of giggles and tickled kicks of your feet in glee. 

Twojar Riddler:

You guys were taking a cab back from a night out. You two were absolutely all over each other. Touching, tugging, holding, caressing, and of course kissing. 

However, Edward was kissing you everywhere, except for your lips. 

“E-Eddie!” You giggled, his sideburns tickling the skin on your neck as he trailed kissing along your shoulder. 

“Hm?” He asked, not relenting on his kisses. 

“Y-You’re kissing me in the wrong spot.” You argued. 

“Oh, is that right?” He asked, teasingly. Ed removed his head from the side of your neck and looked at you. 

“Tell me, where is the right spot?” He smirked.

He kissed your shoulder. “Here?”

He pecked your neck. “Here?” 

“Perhaps here?” He kissed your cheek.

You started giggling again. “Eddie…” you playfully whined. 

“What? You haven’t told me where.”

“I think you know…”

“Hmm…you know what. I think I do.” 

Edward finally leaned in, cupping your cheek and pulling your lips to his. 

Gotham City Sirens Riddler:

You heard the door to the office burst open and then slam shut. The sound made you jump out from behind your desk. 

“Edward! I-Is everything oh…” 

Edward was in absolute tatters. His green suit was covered in soot, with some edges to it slightly burned off. His hat was bent and also burned around the edges. His dress shirt was also untucked and wrinkled. His cane broken in two, each of the pieces he dead gripped in his fists.

“Ed! A-Are you okay?” 

“Fine! Just peachy.” He snarled. He started making his way down the hallway to his office. 

“Well, uh, w-what…do you need anything?” You asked unsure what to say, but still wanted to help him. 

“I said I’m fine!” He snapped. 

A few minutes go by, Edward had long since discarded his ruined suit and shirt. He still kept the hat, hoping to possibly fixing it. Currently he was trying to tape his cane back together. Until he heard a small knock on the door. 

He was about to bark at you to dismiss whoever it was that wanted to see him, but he was surprised to see you with a plastic bag. You walked over to him and took out a water bottle, bandages, hydrogen peroxide, aspirin, and super glue. 

“Hm.” Edward softly let a smile grow on his face. You began applying the antiseptic liquid to the burns on his arm and softly bandaging them. As you did this he took the opportunity to give you a thankful kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m gonna need more payment than that for patching you up.” You said, teasingly. 

“Is that so?”

“Mm hm, my help isn’t cheap!”

He cupped your chin between his thumb and forefinger. He chuckled, “of course it isn’t.” He leaned in closer and kissed you, gratefully.  

Young Justice Riddler:

You were minutes away from seeing Edward off on another mission. It was your job to stay behind and keep a lookout.

 Needless to say the two of you have gotten pretty close over the years. You guys have only been dating for a couple months now and Ed’s adorable awkwardness has only quadrupled in that time span as he’s getting used to the new status of your relationship. As well as what your relationship usually entails. Like PDA. 

“You’re up, Eddie!” You called for him. You were sitting at your desk; typing, clicking, and swiping away at touchscreens to make sure everything was in working order. 

“O-Oh it’s time to go already.” Ed was lost in his own head, just staring and watching you do your thing. He really wishes he could just stay with you, but nope they needed someone as a scapegoat. 

“Sure is. You’ll be fine, I’ve got eyes all over the facility.” You reassured. 

“I-I don’t doubt it.” He chuckled nervously. 

He stood up out of the chair. “Well, I’ll see you later.” He hesitated at first before finally swooping into your side and giving you a kiss on the cheek. 

You tried so hard not to squeal out loud. That was one of the boldest things he’s done yet. 

“Aw, come here!” You jumped out of your seat. You wrapped your arms around him, almost knocking him off his feet. You leaned in and planted a big sweet kiss on his lips. “There! That’s a real kiss!”

“N-N-Noted.” He stuttered, his face slowly glowing a faint pink from his forehead to his neck. 

Telltale Riddler:

Honestly, you should just be grateful he even kissed you on the cheek. Good luck trying to get him to give you a proper kiss. 

“Aww, come on, Ed! You can do better than that!” 

You had just finished cooking dinner and all the old fart did was give you a small peck on the lips. 

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t even give me a kiss?”

He shifted his eyes left and right, confused. “Didn’t I do that?”

“Well, yeah, but like…a proper one…on the lips…” You explained. 

Edward groaned. “Fine, I suppose you’re right.” He got up and walked over to you and gave you a small quick peck on the lips. You didn’t even have a chance to return it. 

“I believe I’ve paid the piper as they say,” with that he twirled around and headed to his work station.

“Ed! Come back here!” You immediately started walking after him. You were going to get your kiss one way or another. Even if it meant kissing his corpse. 

Hush (DCAU) Riddler:

“You ready, Ed?” You asked. 

You were always so nervous whenever he was about to disembark on a new plot he’s cooked up. You always knew the odds of him being caught and incarcerated again were very high. You always mentally prepared yourself for that possibility. While simultaneously hoping he would get away. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” He tightened the eye mask around the back of his head. 

He noticed you by the door. You were rocking on the heels and balls of your feet and your hands were rubbing both your arms. 

Ed walked over to you. “Hey, are you okay, sweetie?”

You nodded frantically. “Y-Yeah, yeah of course.”

He quirked his eyebrow at you. “You know I’m the smartest man in Gotham, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“So you know, that I know you’re lying…”

You bit your lip, before sighing. “I’m just nervous, like I always am. I don’t like seeing you go and then you don’t come back..” 

Edward sighed in defeat. “I know sweetheart, I know. It kills me too. But you know I always come back. It may take time, but I always come back, don’t I?” 

You nod, “y-yeah, eventually, yeah…”

“You’re the best, you know that.” Ed claimed. “So amazing and patient with me.” He gave you a sweet reassuring kiss on your cheek. “I love you for that, you know? You make me feel like the luckiest guy in Gotham!” 

You giggled softly. “I love you too, and you missed.”

“Hm?”

“You missed my lips…” You muttered. 

Ed playfully knocked himself in the head with the palm of his hand. “Silly me, you’re right. You’re right.” He had a goofy smile on his face as he leaned in and gave you a proper, long, sweet kiss.

[the-antiapocalyptic-man]

The Batman during the days of the Wars of Jokes and Riddles

also picture: Eduardo “Bane” Dorrance, former D.A. Harvey Dent, The Joker (believed to be the Thin White Duke of Death, though Jack Napier would’ve been active around this period as well), Oswald “The Penguin” Cobblepot, Robin Jonathan Blake, Selina Hasigawa, Miranda Tate (identified later as Talia Al Ghul of the League of Assassins), Mayor Bella Real, and Edward E. “The Riddler” Nashton.

Believed to be bankrolled by billionaire Bruce Wayne--still reeling, years later, from the murder of his parents Thomas Sr and Martha--how and why The Batman came to be is a mystery. While there was a Batman during the Golden Age, they’ve since been confirmed to be a separate individual, neither Batman being observably metahuman. While characters like Crimson Avenger and Grey Ghost had been inspired by the Golden Age Batman, the appearance of a full-fleshed Modern Age Batman took many by surprise. Adding to speculation on Wayne’s involvement, he’s publicly known as a major Grey Ghost fan, going so far as to befriend an aging Simon Trent and quietly provide for much of Trent’s healthcare and other expenses.

That said, nothing was ever confirmed. Even the simultaneous disappearances of both Wayne and Batman can be explained away with the general chaos of the Crisis. What is known is that Batman’s circle of immediate associates did seem to grow in time with Wayne’s growing family, and Wayne’s wife Mayor Real was one of Batman’s biggest proponents despite his flagrant vigilantism and flaunting of the law. In fact, it may have been Wayne’s own dissatisfaction with police action in the greater Gotham area--the Joe Chill who murdered his parents was never caught, despite several suspects being identified (Napier among them--as well as widespread corruption that led him to “ally” with Batman.

GCPD Detective John Blake is the other major question mark of the era. The appearance of several “Robins” working for or with Batman in the following years suggests a connection between Blake and the Gotham Knights, but as far as anyone knows, he immediately handed in his resignation following the Wars’ conclusion and departed for parts unknown.

[rassilon-imprimatur]

Killing Time // The War of Jokes and Riddles // The Unjust Judge // Cold Days