#bc i am an impatient piece of shit

[chichikoi]

oppulent.

pairing: diluc x gn! reader

fandom: genshin impact

trope(s): marriage of convenience, implied enemies to lovers

warnings: crack. mentions of thick fingers (sobs), reader has a teasing personality, workplace romance.

a/n: whoever thought it'd be a good idea to give me a functioning brain and a keyboard *sighs wistfully*. this is peak delusion, please try to enjoy, and bear with me.

Diluc scrutinized the ring in his hand, his brow furrowing in subtle frustration. He glanced up at you with an impassive expression, motioning for you to extend your hand.

"Let's try this again," he grumbled, his tone clipped and businesslike.

You obliged, holding out your hand as he selected a new ring. Diluc's fingers were precise as he attempted to slide it onto your ring finger, but as it happens, it caught midway.

He frowned, his impatience growing more apparent. "Your fingers are thicker than I anticipated." he remarked with a measured tone.

Suppressing an eye-roll, you extended your hand once more, wondering how someone so meticulous in business could falter with something as seemingly straightforward as ring size. Diluc selected another ring, and this time, it glided on with ease.

"There," he stated matter-of-factly, "the right size."

You couldn't help but mutter something under your breath.

Diluc shot you a glance, his crimson eyes meeting yours with an unreadable expression. "Excuse me?"

You met his gaze head-on, your irritation bubbling to the surface. "I said, I didn't realize precision had a learning curve, sir."

A flicker of annoyance crossed Diluc's features, but he remained composed. "I don't have time for inefficiencies. This is merely a formality for our arrangement."

You couldn't resist a sarcastic smile. "Of course, Mr. Ragnvindr. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you with the size of my fingers." He merely grunted in response, returning to his usual grumpy self as if the exchange hadn't ruffled his feathers.

The tension lingered in the air as you exchanged those subtle barbs with Diluc. The jeweler discreetly observed the dynamic between you two, unsure whether to be amused or uncomfortable. Once the rings were finalized, you gathered your composure, preparing to leave the shop. 

As you turned to exit, Diluc's voice cut through the air, begrudgingly breaking the formality. "You can drop the formalities. Just call me Diluc."

A mischievous grin tugged at your lips. "Oh? so we're on a first-name basis now?"

His response was a tightened expression, a silent plea for cooperation. "It's more convenient for our... arrangement."

Your satisfaction was palpable. "Alright, Diluc. If you say so."

As you sauntered out of the jeweler's shop, you left behind a bemused Diluc, who, despite his stoicism, seemed to have reluctantly taken a step towards a less formal connection.

[heavenknowsffs]

I just want the feont pieces of my hair GONE they're so annoying

[wildcatfourteen]

how do you come up with such interesting composition? your pieces are always so captivating 💗

thank youuuuuuuuuu <33 and the truth is. idk. i am kinda just winging it and making a lot of adjustments as i go.... im not very orderly about it and have my thoughts kinda all over the place. heres some examples under the cut w what process pics i could find

direction process goes >>>

first did a pencil sketch for big shapes. was just placing stuff down. i wanted to make ref sheets for an art trade but didnt want to make a traditional type bc i hate drawing ppl standing full body (bc im bad at it 👍) also i did not have specific outfits in mind and was going more for a reference of the general vibe of the characters, so i just wanted a full body pose + face close up. to avoid having to show specific details. bc i was cheating. was originally going to have multiple text bubbles around for the character facts

did like two sketches digitally. messed around a LOT with placement. the little emote heads came out of me feeling like it was empty and boring on its own and they are fun to draw so why not include them. the multiple text bubbles seemed like a bad idea now so i took them out and just did one text wall.

i actually dont like the text wall now and think breaking it up wouldve been more fun visually but that would've required effort i didnt wanna put in LOL

^ i lost the pencil sketch for this one (i always do a pencil sketch) but it was actually just the two half body drawings at first with none of that shit at the bottom or the close ups until i was like fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk i gotta add smth around to make this look like theres stuff happening..... the idea was to draw the two main characters of the labb novel in some kinda comic format w panels around and i then. kept adding things until it seemed like i was getting somewhere. thats kind of my process for everything TT i think it helps to stay in a workshopping stage for longer if needed to get somewhere but i often get impatient LOL

im putting a stupid note abt this here bc im still annoyed at myself but in this novel, there was a bit about a crossword puzzle related to a murder case and i only thought of it afterwards that it would be kinda cool to put the sugar cubes in like a crossword puzzle formation....... why didnt i do that......

^ and heres some of the process for this one, but i lost a LOT of the steps for this. the beginning was totally different. the character wasnt as pathetic and scared looking at first but then i was like uhhhhh lets draw him that way :)

the first pencil draft was from a different perspective and it was gonna have a mirror composition to it kinda? but i wasn't able to make that look appealing so i deleted it. it still had the curtains tho but then i also included stuff with framed mirrors + other frames around

i decided to instead make the curtains be the focus of the whole piece to not make it so cluttered. character's pose was so different at first it was so bad i dont even wanna remember it. i took out the frames entirely bc i didnt think they added much to the piece in terms of the atmosphere. since like. the more i worked on it w the character's + the goat's expressions the more it gave a 'being hunted' feeling to it and portrait frames dont fit that vibe. which feels funny bc u look at it and thats all u can think abt but i wasnt even gunning for that when starting out. BE FLEXIBLE. TRUST THE PROCESS.

[jadedharleys]

jade harley. what song!!!???

ok i forgot .to answer this ages ago but . jade harley songs. and holy shit oops this is like an entire fuckin essay with half of the songs on my playlist. enjoy

grown ocean by fleet foxes

its the. "children grown onthe edge of the ocean" like her growing up on an island in the middle of the ocean. and like. the bits about dreaming. "in that dream i could hardly contain it all my life i will wait to attain it" waiting and waiting for the day sburb will happen after so long alone... "i will see you someday when ive woken ill be so happy just to have spoken ill have so much to tell you about it" her letter to john about wanting to see prospit with him one day when hes awake.

^ cries. but like its so similarly worded...

empty room by arcade fire

once again. "my life is coming but i dont know when" and shes so used to being alone but one day shell see her friends and she knows so much more than she lets on. its the caption on this -> art

also it reminds me of her talking about meeting alt calliope

like. her life is coming her purpose will one day make sense but she is put to the side to wait to have a reason for so long. first with her childhood on the island waiting to meet her friends and play sburb and then on the retcon yellow yard when she

theres just something so tragic about her being so resigned to that sort of existence. the endless waiting for a purpose and meaning. and when she does gets the satisfaction of having that realized but she still . yknow what i mean.

ghost adventure spirit orb by chloe moriondo

listen its always the escapism dream sleepy sillygirl songs with her but this one also mentions frogs so its even better. remember when my url was @ghostadventurespirit0rb on my main lol.

trees (hallway of leaves) by sleeping at last

oh my god this is just like such a homestuck song in general ok but very much jade perspective. the mystery of it all as everything she knows about starts to happen yknow. the epic adventure unfolding as things fall into place. and shes dreamed of it for so long but theres something left out still even as she thinks she understands everything that leaves this tragic underlying dramatic irony like how hopeful and excited her letter to john was. i want to do a lyricstuck to this so so bad one day

youth by daughter

another general homestuck song but. this verse is so jade. i drew a like super short mini lyricstuck thing her with it at 1 am once that basically expresses my feelings about it

glowing by the oh hellos

this is very godtier ascension vibes with those last couple lines but its jades godtiering particularly to me bc it rlly has her vibes. "talking at the house plants all on your own" idk its her energy. and like her calm knowing powerful awesomeness when she does all her awesome stuff in cascade feels so fitting to the way the "i guess it would feel like rebirth out of some kind of dying to see yourself so glowing" jade harley is so cool tbh

five by sleeping at last

the whole song is about space which gives it jade points ofc and what i specifically picture with this is. cascade. "i want to break it into pieces small enough to understand and put it all back together again in the quiet of my private collection" her shrinking the planets to bring to the new session and all. "living behind this one way mirror" the wall rewinding homestuck panels idk.

human by daughter

ok this is like. grimbark . to me. in angsty sadstuck ways. idk what to explain about it. ig the "i think im dying here" line is like. yeah. her dying and getting a just death even tho she wasnt being herself :( i captioned this art with it btw

runaway by aurora

once again dream escapism vibes. but some specific lines are "i had a dream i was seven ... saw a piece of heaven waiting impatient for me" prospit imagery tbh. ok and also. "i was painting a picture the picture was a painting of you and for a moment i thought you were here but then again it wasnt true" is very. the reveal of the events of the new timeline. with calliopes drawings and everything? but also fits her waiting to meet the other kids in the medium one day after knowing it was gonna happen eventually

but with this way the . "for a moment i thought you were here" line idk its like. the timeline being different idfk. also i was like so confused when i first read this so its like the. hold on wait wtf . sorta moment. like bro what do you meannn they sploded. and "ive been putting sorrow on the farthest place on my shelf" is so . the prospit flavor of emotional repression. im very skilled at it i understand

west by radical face

ok this one is some more of that tragic vibes i talked about with empty room and her role in the story and her waiting and everything. "a quiet life...one where are hopes and dreams are attainable things" "dont stop to think just chase the dream were chasing" she is just so . jade harley . waiting for the fulfillment of her dreams and for the purpose she doesnt even know yet? but then . more grimbark vibes at the end. "the dogs came at midnight guns drawn and eyes bright i heard them laughing black voices scratching" as about . her. spooky silly evil dog girl .

jade harley.

[maxmayfieldirl]

Okay so like, here's the things I think/want to happen in vol 2

Before I say anything: I am well aware that it's merely 4 hours so I know not all of this is gonna happen. I suppose this is also things I want in s5 as well.

Starting off strong with the confirmed deaths!! Who it will be we do not know yet but I have some thoughts.

Of course I'm sure y'all have seen me mention the Wheeler's quite often. I am mostly convinced it will be one of the Wheeler's who dies. I strongly believe it could be Karen solely bc of her poster--or Nancy but Nancy has been my favorite since s1 so I really hope it's not her.

As for the other deaths, Eddie bc of his string of bad luck lately. I mean. He was literally accused of murder, kinda hard to come back from that.

Max bc well. Vecna. That's my only reasoning really. That and she mentioned Kate Bush loosing her magic powers... Normally it would seem like a regular piece of dialogue but like. It's stranger things we're talking about.

Other potential deaths but I don't feel strongly enough about them:

Steve bc he gets the shit beat out of him every season so he's not far off from death. I don't have much to say other than its just a gut feeling. Something bad is gonna happen to Steve, he's a fan favorite.

Dustin, why? I dunno, a gut feeling. He told Steve something along the lines of "if you die, I die". Also he hasn't really had a lot of personal run ins with the upside down. Too good for too long I say. I hope I'm wrong though, stay good Dustin

Jason bc he's so insistent on this all being the work of devil and his gf literally just died so why wouldn't vecna pay him a visit? He's so invested in this, he's seen a death with his own eyes he just can't seem to see the truth. It'd definitely be interesting

I am hoping for a mutual Mileven break up, I just. I like them as friends. They worked together so much better as friends. We see it in s1, they get along so well but as they start dating it just. They're not really getting along? They do but not the way they did before.

Of course I need sibling interactions!! Byers family (which seems to happen!!! Woo!!!), Wheeler family, Sinclair family!!!! I need it!!

A Mike and Nancy hug!! Them literally acknowledging each other's existence and not arguing please!!!! I need it!!

Big Brother Lucas™️ protecting Erica. Like I just want them to interact for more than a minute. Like a sibling moment without others. A soft sibling moment!! They bond!!! A hug...? Come on Duffers!!!

Byler. I don't need them to get together this season. I just need them to interact more. I just yeah. They can get together next season. Yeah

Core 4 party members literally just existing in the same room together we've been robbed. I miss their friendship, they seem to get divided a lot.

Flashbacks!! I want to know more about the pasts of the characters and the upside down. What were they like years ago, before it all happened? What is the full story of the upside down? Maybe just a little tease.

El and Hop reunite, an extremely emotional one too. If not that than El at least has to find out Hop is alive. Please she needs something good in her life.

I know I've strayed away from theories but I feel like it will end on a cliffhanger and pick up from s5. I'm pretty impatient so I don't want this but it would be interesting. I believe it build up to everyone going in the upside down and fighting their very last battle there. My guess is they start s5 with the final battle there and the last couple episodes is the aftermath.

I know the Duffers mentioned a time skip but they've lied about other things so.... Plus it'd be pretty cool.

I am 100% fully convinced the final battle will be everyone against vecna in the upside down.

Maybe Hawkins will be swallowed whole by the upside down. The show seems to be leaning towards the end of the world type thing but maybe it's just me.

I also wanna know what Max's letters said. And what Erica found under Lucas's bed, I believe that's what it was.

It's getting late and I'm getting a little too tired to think of other things rn so I'll leave this here, feel free to add your opinions and what not. Do be respectful about it.

If you'd like to hear more things like this, my ask box is open ^_^

[dani-luminae]

It's @lady-of-the-spirit here for a chapter review! 💖 on anon bc I don't want to write out a review and have it disappear

I loved loved loved the scene with beast and Ben. I'm really happy that you always try to do right by Ben and his parents, since the movies never treated their relationship right. things like Beast helping Ben with his jacket and Ben giving his dad a hug mean so much to me.

Literally nobody likes Hades and it's the funniest thing to me that he keeps acting like he's hot shit even though nobody cares about him at all. (Except for Mal.)

Polly hugging Beast's leg and Belle holding her up 😭💓 family!! I love the alien kids.

I was so worried when Hades started his bullshit and insulting Lia that it would all go wrong somehow! Poor Lia, being struck by damn human insecurities over something like physical appearances. So glad that she was able to stick it to Hades. I was still worried that something would somehow go wrong with her change in appearance, and was very happy when nothing bad happened and it was just Hades being shown up again.

Ben's starting to realize some things I see! 👀 that last part of Mal's, saying as long as Lia's not a threat to the kingom she wouldn't worry, is making me feel like Hades is going to try and manipulate Mal next and make her suspicious of Lia.

She's taking Mal's clothes and shows she has strange powers and Ben is friendly with her and now they're conveniently unable to go back to space... all the pieces are right there... it would almost be too easy for Hades to manipulate Mal if he chose to.

Yay! You came through under your username and not anon, so hmm. Tumblr's still being weird. But I'm so glad that all this weirdness hasn't stopped you from being able to read and review!

I am unendingly furious about the way the movies treated Ben and his family. Even in LFTS which is meant to abide by the ending of D3, I can't resist trying to fix it. Let Ben hug his parents, goddamn it - he deserves it!

Of course nobody likes Hades. He's... Hades. His years on the Isle have only made him more arrogant and deluded.

It has been decreed - Polly has found new parents, and Beast and Belle are like "this might as well happen."

LFTS Lia still retains her impulsive and impressive attitude. She is also very proud and doesn't accept the derision and taunts of someone so below her, even a deity of Ixosl. And YES Ben's starting to put the pieces together (finally! I know he's been through a lot but I'm kind of impatient lol).

Oh boy, I never even considered that idea - that Hades could try to manipulate Mal into seeing Lia as a threat. Thanks for the idea!

[imdisappeared]

okay back on my druck bs so better mute me for the next ten weeks for your own sake.

that first clip has me so incredibly impatient already dunno how i will survive waiting for clips so to get some of the energy out:

an incomplete list of things i want or want to know from season 7:

- nonbinary ismail story line!!!!!! i try to keep my hopes low to not get disappointed and try to convince myself it could still be a great season if they went down a different road but i want it so badlyyyyyy (also i don't know if there is any german media with nonbinary rep and it's so so so desperately needed. and while there are quite a few possible difficulties to do it properly (i.e. language wise as german is a heavily gendered language and the pronoun thing is a lot more complicated than in english) i honestly have faith that druck is the format in german media i'd trust the most to do this topic justice so it would be sad if they wasted that chance)

- them displaying the intersections between being muslim and queer and not making it a conflict!!!! (i am not sure if ismail was ever confirmed to have a muslim background but i'd really love if they went down that road)

- finishing ismail's redemption arc!!!! there is a lot more work to do there and i hope they give it the attention it needs especially regarding ava. i'd be so ready for them actually having to work for her forgiveness or maybe even not getting it and just staying on more neutral grounds and ismail just having to accept that. i am very willing to accept ismail's redemption (opposing to constantpain) but i don't want it to be lazy and too easy.

- kieu my and ismail friendship supremacy!!!! i need some bestie clips. i need to see just the two of them interact and a deeper understanding of their friendship dynamic. i also need more fatou and ismail friendship moments.

- no ismail x constantpain romance bs. i am rather convinced this is thankfully already off the table but i still wanna emphasize. constantin is toxic af and that surely needs some exploration but definitely not by making him the li. people are SO willing to forgive this piece of shit and make up excuses for him while he really hasn't displayed anything but asshole behaviour (but the reason of course isn't him being a skinny white boi who fits societal beauty standards haha lol never...). i personally am not in favor of a constantpain redemption arc in general but no matter how that goes down ismail deserves better than getting a crusty love interest like him.

- speaking of: who the fuck is sascha??????? i need to know???? i can impossibly wait until tuesday or whenever???? are they a love interest? are they friends or even family or sth? it was all a bit cryptic and i am so ready to know whats up there. i also don't know if i want it to be a love interest bc i could really do without one for once and focus on all the other important relationships. but i guess we'll just see what they have planned for us

[yunhostinyuyu]

come closer

pairing: frat boy!yunho x fem reader

genre: colleague au/frat au, suggestive

wc: 1.5k

synopsis: another friday night, another boring party you find yourself at. Only for a certain person to turn up next to you to turn everything upside down...

warnings: alcohol, weed, smoking, mentions of other drugs, teasing, yeah that’s it

—

„This party sucks. Mingi really hasn’t learned a thing about how this is supposed to work...“ you mutter to yourself, wandering through the hallways of the giant frat house, intertwining almost like a maze. It’s questionable why you even attended tonight’s party in the first place, but there were two good reasons to always show up at Song Mingi’s gatherings: alcohol and drugs. Despite the latter being hard to come by, since the most frat boys keep the good stuff to themselves.

The small group of friends you came with already got lost in the crowd or are crazy drunk, which leaves you alone, trying to waste time until it’s late enough to fashionably excuse yourself to go back to the dorms.

You busied yourself with observing the other people: drinking, smoking, blowing, talking, screaming, making out, groping each other - it looked like a mess you didn’t want yourself getting involved with, even if you were desperately hoping to find something to smoke, so your attendance wasn’t completely useless. It has already been too long since the last time you had some and you truly needed to take some pressure off - with all the final exams already lining up and stressing you out of your mind.

As it became a little too crowded at around 1:00 am you decided to go out onto the balcony, finally breathing fresh air into your lungs. Not the smell of sweat, weed and rum stuck in your nose anymore. Looking down at the neighboring houses and more-or-less silent area as you leaned your elbows on the railing and dangling your almost empty cup above nothing. Enjoying the silence and view of the moonlight illuminating the garden below.

“I thought nobody would be here at this hour... guess I was wrong.” you turned your head around as the unknown voice spoke from far behind you. A tall, handsome boy leaning against the glass door, his messy hair and droopy eyes indicating he just got out of a rather intense crowd. He reached to push his hair aside, but not helping at fixing the disheveled look, only adding to it.

“Intense party, huh?” You joked, already turning your back towards the tall stranger. Taking a few steps, he mirrors your posture and turns to look at your face.

“I have never seen you around here, are you new?” he asked curiously. You were quick to shake your head and chuckle: “No, actually, I come here quite often. But I mostly stay quiet and go home early so... are you new?” You throw the question back, turning your head to the right, now scanning over his facial features as well as you could in the darkness, only scource of light coming from inside the house.

“New to Mingi’s parties yeah. We were friends before college but his parties are still shit. I’m Yunho, by the way” he swiftly introduced himself with a sly nod. “Y/N.” you replied sweetly and he smiled to himself.

You watched him with big eyes as he took out a little plastic bag, filled to the brim with flakes of weed. “Figured this would be the ideal place to smoke one of these.” he explained, not taking his eyes of the little piece of paper and the green stuff he is presicely sprinkling onto it. You just stand there, watching silently. Secretly hoping he would offer you a hit or two once he was finished, but instead brought the stick to his own lips, licking it slowly and closing it before lightning it. Taking long, deep drags as he puffed the smoke out through his nose.

Damn, you thought to yourself, he sure looks good while smoking like that. But you had to act quickly if you actually wanted to have a change with getting something between your lips and into your lungs sooner rather than later.

“Can I have a drag?” looking at him with puppy like eyes, as he slightly tiled his head to meet your eyes. Blinking a few times before he decided.

“Sure, enjoy yourself.” he said as he held his hand with the joint towards you, but pulling it back again as your hand darted out to snatch it from him. Eyeing the tall one, your gaze clearly confused.

A coy smirk appearing on his round lips before speaking up again: “Come closer, I won’t bite... unless that’s what you’re into.” Ignoring his flirty comment but following his request. Now you’re standing closer to Yunho, shoulders almost touching as you finally got hold of what you desired the most. Slotting the joint I between your lips and taking a long drag. “Ugh, this is so good, it’s been so long since the last time I had some...” you explain as you handed the stick back to him.

“At least Mingi knows what good weed is.” he laughs, bringing the stick back to his own lips. You want to get the stick back for a second hit, but he doesn’t let you have it as easy as before, and you feel yourself slowly getting impatient, pouting slightly.

Yunho shifted his form to face you, yourself following along as he took a small step even closer towards you. Looking up to him, joint still in his mouth. His fingers dance up across the skin of your arm, looking out for any sign of discomfort at his action, but there are none.

His hand moving upwards until he reached your face, his thumb grazing your bottom lip gently, and his other fingers rest against your chin. The stares are growing more and more intense, eyes glued onto each other. His pupils darting down, inspecting your lips, softly pushing them apart. He takes the joint away from his lips, leaning in to blow the faint smoke into your mouth. Your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the moment for as long as it lasts, the tension rising with every passing minute. The palms of your hands are growing sweaty from his presence and aura alone, and his ministrations only added to that.

You catch yourself quickly before slipping into indecent thoughts, and this time you’re actually quick enough to grab the joint from him. Repeating the action to him, opening his mouth eagerly when he realized what you were doing. Your hand resting on his shoulder and his hands still on your chin, the other one finding it’s place on your left hip.

“This shit is so hot.” He comments, you slowly reach your hand with the toxic stick towards his face and putting it inbetween his teeth and lips.

“Do it again” you almost plea, tone quiet, only for him to hear your words. Without wasting another second, he takes another drag, taking his hand away from your chin to hold the joint. Grip on your hip growing tighter as he pulls you even closer than before. Bracing yourself at the sudden movement, your hands dart to his chest to keep yourself steady. He leans down towards your face, lips ghosting over yours as he blows the smoke into your wet cavern, breathing in slowly.

Yunho wants to kiss you so badly, the vision of you infront of him, smoke slowly descending out of your mouth not helping much with calming that urge, but making it worse for him to hold back. The only thing you can hear is the faint noises from inside and heavy breathing from the both of you. Your eyes are blown out at this point, waiting on him to make the next move.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, voice deep and raspy from smoking. Swiftly moving your hands from his chest, around his torso and up his back, pushing yourself even closer against the soft material of his hoodie and his strong body. Looking up to find his eyes again, pupils big and dark.

As you nod your head, his lips smash onto yours without hesitation, enjoying the taste of you to the fullest. You hum into the kiss as it grew sloppier and needier, continuing the movements until you ran out of air. Pulling apart for a second, before returning to each other. Yunho’s giant hand grabbing your ass harshly as he wets your lips with his tounge before he slips it into your entrance. The older one being in charge of the kiss, submitting to him completely the moment his wet muscle started moving in sync with your own. It all happens so fast, and you’re truly amazed how quickly he had warped you around his finger, pushing the blame onto the weed that is clouding your head.

Being occupied by each other’s mouths and exploring hands, while occasionally taking turns with the magic stick that was still intbewteen his pointer and middle finger, you don’t realise how much time passes. Then, a loud bang accrued out of the blue, followed by the sound of glass shards clatter. Pulling away from each other, eyebrows furrowed in worry and confusion of what the hell just happened.

“Alright everyone, party’s over.”

—

an: sorry I had to delete the read more bc tumblr kept on duplicating and deleting sections :( hope everyone still enjoys <3

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

hi I'm back again. Anyways; as always you don't have to answer if you don't wish! How do you think the residents would react to a young Pureblood MC? (I'm talking about young like a minor.) With that Gen Z in a nutshell personality. Obviously no romantic feelings, just in your opinion how do you think they'd react? all of my questions are just "coincidentally" oddly specific aren't they, totally

Oh shit whaddup I love the idea of Gen Z MC!!! Young pureblood it is, here we go! I’m going to be moving from the assumption that they’re like Comte/Leo; very sympathetic to humanity and sometimes have existential crises (trauma babeyyyyyyyyy). As such, I’ll also be assuming she’s not super close to her family given she rejects the larger vampiric hierarchy/superiority paradigm, memes and modernity, all that jazz

I hope this fits the bill! c:

Under a cut bc is a lonnnnnnng boi~ Click after Napo to see everyone else’s! No explicit triggers that I’m aware of, but if anybody sees anything I missed feel free to let me know

Comte’s reaction:

Absolute baby, he has decided this is his grandchild--no he will not change his mind or take constructive criticism. Get’s ESPECIALLY concerned when he starts to see signs of that “nothing in life matters 😎” nihilism, but doesn’t pester them about it or becomes naggy. Growing up he had similar issues with the prospect of eternal life surrounded by creatures with a mortal lifespan, so he doesn’t judge. He’s more like nah we all hit that vibe, let’s see if we can get their mind off it c: I feel like Gen Z really understand and appreciate the importance of culture and art, so I feel like they would bond a ton over trips to museums/plays/concerts! Invites them to tea time if he ever sees them particularly silent (ah yes, repression) or particularly tired, and does his best to ensure their safety without being intrusive (has briefed the men to escort/accompany her as needed, though Sebas usually does it).

If he sees fangs out around baby he will thrash the shit out of the perpetrator--unless it’s an accident. No excuses. That’s a child. Doesn’t give a FUCK if they’re another pureblood even with all the arranged marriage bullshit. He said what he said. (Remember that biting between vampires or vampire + human relations is considered something that’s only done between intimate partners, so he is having none of that for a minor)

Leonardo’s reaction:

Also certified granddad, but he’s the one that enables shenanigans and is just like “oh worm” when it comes to the existential dread (it’s a Tuesday). At first though Leo is basically that meme like: (Stupidman = Leo, Maddie = MC)

Not all purebloods are necessarily dangerous, but most are either incredibly indifferent to the plight of others (especially humans) or actively range from like playing social mind games to being sociopathic murderers/etc. the list goes on. As such, Leonardo is suspicious to no end until he sees that the kid really doesn’t have any ill will in her. She jokes with Sebas (they quote vines on the daily) and works with him normally; even when Leo asks Sebas he’s just “????? bro she’s just my kouhai, thanks for worrying tho”. One day he’s tasked with escorting her to grab groceries and assorted things for the mansion, and she freezes in place before bolting across the street. Turns out she saw a kid trip in the road and fall, and a carriage was moving fast from the other side--it likely wasn’t going to be able to stop. She scoops up the kid and holds them close, and when the parents try to thank her profusely she just seems more uncomfortable with the praise than triumphant. She didn’t want the kid to get hurt. If she could do something about it, it was as simple as that.

From that point on they’re hella chill and hang out together, usually just bonding in silence. If they’re an artist, he’ll offer them pointers and technique manuals--will help however he can. If not, they’ll just be reading together in the library now and again. If she falls asleep, he’ll tuck her in and watch over her (cue red eye meme when the door opens, but then it’s just Vincent so he c:). He’ll often pay close attention to her eating habits to make sure nothing’s amiss with her health since she’s still a growing pureblood. If she struggles with what she is a lot (given she’s sympathetic to human beings) he’ll synchronize his Rouge drinking with hers to make sure she doesn’t starve herself ;-;. Even if she’s just forgetful about drinking/eating, he’ll do what he can to make her life easier (that’s how he shows his affection uwu)

He will, of course, also tease her about being a baby until she kicks him in the shin while Comte sighs and tells him to knock it off with a smack upside the head

Napoleon’s reaction:

Not granddad energy, but you better believe he’s in a weird territory between sheer admiration and “I am your older brother now, eat your vegetables” “But I don’t even need vegetables” “Eat your vegetables and I’ll take you to a crepe shop” “............deal” 

Basically it’s unlikely MC is super close to her siblings or even has any (pureblood children are a rare feat) so she’s like......wary, but then she just ???? this is.....kinda nice? Just having somebody that cares in a chill way, but still fully encourages her to throw men across the street if they’re hurting women/children (high fives her every time). He’ll often invite her to the swordplay lessons with the kids alongside Isaac’s teaching; she’s free to join in the learning, or honestly just hang out with people closer to her age (he’s v concerned about her having friends that she can relate to and talk to freely). 

Protective in a subtle way, like Leonardo. Escorts her places and helps her carry groceries without fail when Sebas is running other errands. She becomes his crepe shop cover buddy whenever he has an intense hankering for sweets: “wanna go to that crepe shop around the corner” “you’re just too chicken to go alone, fool” “do you want crepes or not nunuche” “............BOKBOKBOK” “aight that’s it **gives her a noogie**” (they go anyway and have a marvelous time rating the crepes from best to worst, they got a whole list goin’) 

Glares Arthur down if he so much as LOOKS in her direction

Mozart’s reaction:

Mozart is just the “what is with this sassy, lost child?” meme. Doesn’t dislike them, but they are just not remotely threatened by his haughty disdain by any extension. And he HATES IT. The MC is always just “Okay, boomer” and he just ?????? He doesn’t know what it means but it’s openly dismissive, so he mad.

Like idk if y’all know this meme, but it’s the same energy as:

It’s only when he notices she’s always punctual and careful with his requests that he starts to warm up. For example, she makes him a mocha by combining the way he likes his coffee and hot cocoa to perfection when he falls asleep at his piano. (She feels bad for him after Comte explains because--though he’s got a stick up his butt--he’s clearly distressed in his new surroundings ;-; Plus, the kind of perfectionism Mozart exudes is an extension of internalized shame, and when she begins to see that she really shifts her approach.) As such, he begins to soften to her presence. He begins to see that she isn’t indifferent to his existence, it’s more that she sees no need for intimidation and believes admiration is earned (basic respect isn’t a privilege, it’s a right). When he figures that out, he stops being so barbed and terse--starts to relax. Offers to let her stay and listen to his pieces if she wants, and she’s honestly touched given his clear struggle with vulnerability. Cuddles with Schelm at the window as he plays, and they become good friends. 

As a result, Mozart becomes fiercely protective despite her sturdier nature as a pureblood and has hissed venom at Arthur about the fact that she is off fucking limits. Doesn’t leave her alone in the same room as the other men unless it’s with Jeanne or Comte; he don’t trust like that.

Arthur’s reaction:

Sweating a lot at the sudden collection of baleful eyes sticking to his back everywhere he goes, but figures he brought it on himself to an extent. That being said, he can’t really get a word in edgewise given she just walks away when he tries to engage in conversation or compliment her.

Tough nut to crack this one, but he doesn’t let it discourage him. The only way she’ll give him the time of day is to play chess--and she kicks his ass soundly every single time. He’s fascinated by her extensive analytic ability, but she keeps silent about her strategies and thinking. Dazai and Theo always love to watch him get his ass handed to him, but he considers it a really interesting experience; it gives him insight into her mind, no matter how much she tries to hide. Patient, efficient, brutal--this kid has seen some shit, probably.

It’s after that point he just concedes she probably won’t let him in, though it doesn’t diminish his curiosity about the future; and perhaps traces of dread. What does the future look like for both her and Sebastian to be that stoic and aloof? It worries him...

Vincent’s reaction:

Vincent is v v impressed by her sense of self, and honestly sees a lot of Theo in her. She’s a little more reticent than Theo, but she has this same commitment to protecting the vulnerable and penetrating through the lies/shitty convictions of others. She is not a person who bends easily, but even so there’s a quiet kind of gentleness to her: she always chats to him v calmly, asks if he needs anything and is doing okay, doesn’t get impatient when he drops things or forgets his apron for the laundry. I think he would respond very positively to her presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. He just brightens up like a little sun and asks her out to picnics for fun; he has no greater intention than enjoying her smile and silly antics (he doesn’t always understand the references, but the way she executes it with so much dry wit--like Theo--makes him laugh). He just feels the warmth of family/familiarity around her ;~;

Ironically, they’re both exceedingly concerned for the other because they’re too self-sacrificing jkashlgdks like this is 100% a case of “I can’t let a young lady risk getting hurt” “Vincent I’m literally indestructible please just let me do this” “But it still hurts” “But I don’t want you to scar--” (This conversation extends so long that the author felt it would be more beneficial to add an etc. here). 

He admires her and trusts in her abilities more due to the nature of her maturity, treats her like a cherished friend and sometimes younger sibling (not condescending but very indulgent; gives her the last of his sweets for example, or pats her on the head when she’s feeling gloomy--more of a wholesome puts her first). But make no mistake, he will throw hands in milliseconds if she gets ganged up on or can’t handle a threat--he just lets her handle most things bc she’s capable~

Isaac’s reaction:

Torn. Because on the one hand, she’s very serious and conscientious about her work--doesn’t want to inconvenience or trouble anyone--and he relates to that heavy.

HOWEVER.

She’s also got insanely chaotic energy when the mood strikes, so when Dazai starts doing his random shitfuckery you better believe MC is upping the ante. (I’m talking AH. ENSLAVED MOISTURE. levels). So Isaac essentially oscillates between thankful for her fortitude to bashing his head against a table for every second he knows her.

In all seriousness though, I would see Isaac as being pretty concerned. Like Vincent, they’re both self-sacrificing to a fault--and he doesn’t want that for her, especially given how young she is. Often tells her not to overdo it or to ask for help if she looks overwhelmed, though it’s not condemning; he says it softly with a neutral look on his face. (He considers it a Certified Mood^TM). He just wants to give back all the care she puts into helping around the house. He doesn’t feel right watching a kid work so hard without reminding her that she should find time to have fun and live for herself too. There will be plenty of time when she’s older to get serious.

He has a fairly easy time interacting with her because of his experience with kids; he takes her seriously (when she’s not clowning) and treats her autonomy with respect. If anything, she’s probably the protective one. She knows he’s an aberrant so she pays laser attention to when he’s suffering and brings him Rouge (not scared because she’s stronger than him and not human lmao, and she sees no need to put Sebastian at risk). When that uni pres pesters him, she goes cold and angry and asks the man to step off when she sees him start to downspiral. They’re essentially on equal footing (he has more life experience, she has more bodily strength/confidence). They're just chill and kind with each other (babies of the mansion, beloved by all).

Theodorus' reaction:

Because he is a manchild, he will be chill/generally indifferent until Vincent starts being indulgent with her (bro-con). He won't be violent or anything like that, but he will pout a storm and try to verbally shoo her away. Because she's a woman, intelligent, and likely a feminist--this will become hilarious because she will not remotely take him seriously. She will just ignore him or roast him in seconds before moving on with her day. Otherwise he doesn't care much because he doesn't have time to play babysitter (unless there's no one else to help).

At the most, he'll make sure she's safe and use the excuse that Vincent would be upset if he did anything less. If she likes/loves dogs and plays with King while she's there, he'll soften up and thank her for taking care of him. If she makes hella pancakes, he'll be the proudest about it--ruffling her hair. If she protects Vincent in any capacity, he'll be torn between jealous, grateful and impressed; he likes a kid that can hold their own and take responsibility within their abilities.

So their relationship is v much like a chill uncle with their niece; fond, but not necessarily super close or spend a ton of time together. He has his priorities, but he won't be an asshat (mostly).

Jeanne's reaction:

Jeanne is confused on so many levels. He doesn't dislike her spunk he's just staggered by her level of sheer reckless, righteous rage. (And he's a bit wary in the face of another pureblood as a potential enemy) but after a bit more time around her he relaxes. She's fairly simple to understand when you get to know her; cares about others to a fault, existential dread, overworks herself. Stays watchful, but he just treats her like the younger kids that Napoleon brings by the weapons shop when they need armor for practice. It can get a little funny because he’ll just be like “uhhhh uh kids like sweet stuff right? Here have some of the macaroons somebody brought by earlier, I don’t like ‘em that much anyway.” And she just “??? Thanks???” He doesn’t mind being around her, just doesn’t really know what to say so they often fall into comfortable silence after exchanging small talk. She likes that he isn’t complicated; what you see is what you get with Jeanne. It’s nice not to have to keep her guard up every second of the day,

When he sees her feeling particularly down, he’ll take her to that little field of white lilies behind the mansion during a full moon night. The silver light seems to make the petals emit an ethereal glow, and she makes him a flower crown in thanks. He listens kindly if she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t--that’s okay too; he’ll just give her a head pat.

Honestly he finds a lot of relief in the fact that she's a pureblood, because he feels less nervous about her being fragile or her getting fatally hurt when he’s not around. Will still be very gentle with her and protect her when she’s in proximity

Mission Status: Fucking Wholesome

Dazai’s reaction:

Big brother time? It’s big brother time!!!! He instantly makes it his subtle mission to look after her, though he’s v lowkey abt it. She takes one look at this depressed mofo climbing in through the window and just goes “aw yeah, this guy FUCKS” and they become besties at a glance. They basically make a game out of who can be the most absurd whenever they’re in the same room. Comte and Leo find it utterly hilarious, Napoleon is digging a grave for Isaac in the backyard (we all know his heart won’t be able to take it. Mozart is probably next. A moment of silence for our fallen.)

I just imagine them like that one post (@/acoolguy):

Dazai: You ever have to shake your leg because there’s a rock in it? MC: That’s your bones Dazai: Every day I learn some more

He’ll always share treats with her and brings her along for walks if she’s feeling wanderlust; he knows how hard it can be, how restless the heart becomes so far from home. He does his best to distract her with their ongoing jokes, but one day it starts raining very suddenly while they’re out. He rushes her under the nearest tree with broad, broad leaves and settles his haori/overcoat over her head. He looks incredibly serious as he looks to the sky--almost glowering at the dark clouds gathering, He doesn’t look at all like his usual fun-loving self in that split second, even though he’s back to his good-natured chirping “Guess we’ll just have to wait out the downpour. MC, are you cold? I should have been more careful.” She shakes her head and shares the coat with him, holding it out insistently until he relents. Their hands brush and she notices they’re freezing, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense he has a lot on his mind, and leans her shoulder against his. The silence feels fragile; she doesn’t want to risk shattering it--shattering him. It is often said that it is an act of great courage to wipe away someone’s tears. But it can also be an act of great gentleness to turn away, to pretend one cannot see them fall (whether visible or not).

One day, after MC returns to her own time, Dazai returns to his room to find two shadows hanging from his window. Though a little crude--they’ve obviously been made by a beginner--it’s clear what they are. Rain ghosts. (Sebastian later explains it was MC’s wish that he have them, and Dazai only smiles very, very gently in response.)

Shakespeare’s reaction:

MC gets one look at him and knows something’s off. She can’t quite tell what it is, but he doesn’t feel like the rest of the family. She can sense something behind him, something lurking; but she can’t quite place it. (Comte has mentioned before that purebloods can sense each other, so I imagine MC knows right off the bat he isn’t a normal sired vampire--she just doesn’t know enough to identify exactly what it is.)

That being said, she is sus. He keeps talking like some kind of weird ass court jester/fae, and she hated his work when she had to do it for school (only enjoyed the Hamlet memes because, let’s be real, that shit is uproarious). When he tries to coax her to see Vlad with him, she says “'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.” And he just freezes in place before he starts laughing. Considers their battle of wills well-played, and warns her not to go out alone--doesn’t bother her again. Though sometimes enjoys listening to her conversations with others for good roast material. (No he is not taking notes, no this new chara is just fire and feral for no good reason--nothing to do with MC)

Sebastian’s reaction:

The l o r e, MC. Give him the forbidden pureblood lore. Will be incredibly curious and ask about what vampires are like outside of the mansion, for science of course. If he senses discomfort though his questions will die down completely--it’s not his intention to make her uncomfortable. He’s just curious! 

Despite his stoicism he’s actually a very, very understanding and warm person.  Will listen to any teenage jadedness or hopelessness with fond patience, recalling the days he was similar. He’ll offer what advice he can. He’s not one to be preachy, but if he sees someone at a loss, he’ll offer what he thinks might be a productive direction for them. Given her removal from her home and parents--even though she’s already well into high school--he’ll sympathize deeply with her position. Will be a firm but gentle guardian (hello Mansion Mom #2), offers her candy every time she does a chore exceptionally well or offers assistance without prompting. She’s sus and takes it reluctantly at first, but after she tries one in private secretly loves them. Sebas is just silently “you like krabby patties don’t you, squidward”. If she’s honest, she’s comforted by the sense of normalcy and care he gives, the harmless joking and easy respect for others (unless otherwise provoked).

When she finds out about his hobby considers him to be a Fucking Nerd^TM and wants to shove him into a locker, but in reality is endeared by how much he genuinely cares about the men. She thinks it’s a harmless fascination, and she senses the oddest...ephemerality about him. Because of this, she becomes pretty protective; he’s a human and he’s too nice for his own good. While she identifies in one sense, she worries in another. Pureblood are sturdy, but humans can’t necessarily sustain that kind of constant self-giving for long...

Also bc my tag game too strong adding it here: #i love the prospect of pureblood MC trying to bring Sebas and Napo together #MC: bruh i got this #Sebas, full of gay panic: wait, MC nO--

Meme tl;dr in the tags also for your enjoyment! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than most to finish!

[moralcombat-hornyprincess]

Hi again, beautiful fairies!😍💖🧚🏼‍♀️ I am not feeling very well, so please drown my DM with good fanfiction suggestions or music which can ease the pain🥺💖 I feel like I let down one of my new friends who will back up from our friendship bc it was only few converstations (yet how quality of them!!!) and I don't want this. I will try to talk about it with him but I am afraid that will be akward since I am oversharing. And the reason why I said no to our outing in the last minute was that I just felt like drowning in my trauma-trigger. My trauma, that is, I was raped in the age 15 and sometimes I just want to carelessly jump into something sexual to have all the sexual sensation that I missed while I recovered and denied my needs and my pain for years. Now I feel ready to get intimate with someone (but I need a big trust-lvl, I guess) but sometimes I want to rush, I want to feel how is that kind of love that is not hurtful, intidimading and makes me feel more than good. I am impatient to experience orgasm since I was only used sexually in my life. And now somehow I moved backwardly after I cried some happy tears during masturbation and damn, I got so lazy and emotional...:( Sorry for my ramble, it was so good to release this shit.🥴😥 So if you have good Reddie (from It Eddie x Richie) or good Obey me Asmo or Mammon fanfics (maybe Levi too) please share it with me.🥺💖💖💖 I am interested in hurt/comfort, something deeply and sweetly emotional that will make me cry (however, now it's an easy goal) or smut. Yes. And if someone knows any fanfic or headcanon that is working on healing from rape just please share that piece of art with me!🌟 I hope your days are fine and if not, text me, I'll be your sunshine💖💖💖 drink water, use carmex and stay strong babies💖💖💖

[teledild0nix]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[aerynwrites]

A Twist of Fate

Javier Peña x Reader Soulmate AU!

Author’s Note: Okay y’all, not sure how i feel about this one lol, I’m kinda on the fence about it? But I kinda like it? Idk, you guys let me know what you think! ALSO! I highly recommend listening to - Oh, What a World by Kacey Musgraves in the last half of the fic, bc it was kinda the inspiration behind this idea.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Angst, cursing, blood, minor injury, fluff.

/////

Living in a world where soulmates are determined from the day you turn fifteen sounds like something out of a science fiction book. Yet, here you were, living it every goddamn day. Most people love it, they love the idea that there is someone out there for them. Someone that is meant for them and only them until the day they leave this earth.

Not you.

You woke up on the morning of your fifteenth birthday, a Friday if you remember correctly, and you were beyond excited to see the words appear on your wrist. The words that your soulmate would say to you the moment you met. However, as you bolted upright in bed and pulled your sleeve up your arm, you felt your heart drop when there were no words on your wrist at all. You had run, panic written all over your face, to your mother who just smiled and said that sometimes it takes a few hours to appear. Afterall, hers didn’t show up until the afternoon of her special day. Your excitement came rushing back as you continued to get ready for school, but as the day came to a close…the words were still no where to be found.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, and the nights after when words still failed to appear on your wrist. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and you finally gave up on the idea of ever seeing the fateful words on your wrist. Your friends tried to console you, your parents took you to multiple specialists, but no one could tell you why the words never appeared.

Why you didn’t have a soulmate.

Eventually you grew out of the childish hope of having a soulmate, you could find happiness elsewhere, you were sure. You threw yourself into your schoolwork, excelled in it and eventually, after college, you landed a job in the DEA. You worked there for several years, quickly becoming a senior agent and creating a name for yourself. A name that your superiors caught onto and the reason you were transferred to Colombia to help the other DEA agents take down Escobar.

That’s how you ended up here, sitting across from Steve Murphy while Javier Peña was discussing the reports of the latest take down to the ambassador. Your eyes kept glancing up at the clock, counting down the seconds until you could go home. You returned your eyes back to your paperwork and bounced your leg impatiently before casting another look at the clock a few feet away.

“What has you so worked up?” Steve huffs, taking his eyes from his desk to look at you instead.

You just shrug, not really wanting to talk about it, “Nothing. Just ready to go home is all,” you say lamely, tapping your pen against the desk absentmindedly.

Steve rolls his eyes before a shit eating grin works his way onto his face and he leans back in his chair, “Oh…” he sighs, “I bet I know what it is.”

You sit up straighter and cross your arms, “I highly doubt that Steve,” you retort, trying to get him to back off.

He just chuckles, “Oh yeah I do. I bet you and Michael have some plans, am I right?” he asks smugly.

At the mention of the man���s name, your heart drops into your stomach and a frown tugs at the corner of your lips. He was the last thing you wanted to talk about.

“No Steve, we don’t have plans,” you bite, looking away from him.

At that very moment the one man you really didn’t want to have this conversation with came waltzing back through the door, glancing between you and Steve, “Who doesn’t have plans?” Javier asks, innocently.

You wave your hand in the air, trying to dismiss the conversation, “It’s nothing Javi, Steve is just-“

“just trying to figure out why miss (y/n) over here is so anxious to leave the office,” he says teasingly, “I think it’s because she has plans with Michael – if you catch my meaning,” he says suggestively, elbowing Javier.

You see Javier clench his jaw at Steve’s words, an action that doesn’t surprise you since he never seemed to like the guy you were dating anyways, but you don’t dwell on it too long before you’re leaning across your desk and smacking Steve’s hands with a nearby folder.

“I don’t have any plans with Michael!” you say defiantly, “Now will you just fucking drop. It.” You spit out the words, irritated that your friend won’t just leave you alone.

Steve just laughs, “Oh come on (y/n), I’m just having a little fun! You’ve been together for a while, now right? I’m surprised he hasn’t dropped the question yet. Guy’s crazy about you from what I hear from the other agents,” he says casually.

You feel tears sting the back of your eyes at the mention of something that could never be, and you have to choke out a response, “Yeah, well-“ you cough, trying to hide the tears in your voice, “he dumped me last night. So, I doubt he’ll be asking ‘the question’ anytime soon,” you say bitterly, slumping back into your seat.

Javier and Steve’s eyes go wide at the news and surprisingly Javier was the one to speak up first, “he dumped you? Just like that?” he asks, bewilderment and, if you didn’t know any better, you’d say you heard a slight tinge of hope in his voice.

You don’t look at either of them, afraid that if you do, you’d burst into tears right that moment, “Yeah…” you whisper, “just like that.”

“What in the hell-“ Steve begins, but you shake your head.

“I really don’t want to talk about it guys, can we just drop it? Please?” you beg.

Steve shakes his head, apparently not hearing your plea, “That asshole…I swear to god if I see his ass I will-“

“Steve please!” you call, “He had every reason to do it.”

Javier jumps in at this point, “What possible reason could he have for just dumping you out of nowhere?”

You shake you head, eyes glancing up to the clock and realizing it was time to go, you quickly stood from your chair, desperate to avoid telling them the one thing you hated about yourself, “I’ve got to go guys” you whisper, trying to gather your things as they continue to badger you with questions within the small space of your shared office.

“did he cheat on you?” “did he get another job?”

“I just can’t believe-“

Just as you retrieved your gun from your desk drawer you slammed it shut, silencing both men as you blurted out the only thing running through your mind the entire day, “He left me because he found his soulmate! Okay?” you cry, barley holding back the tears threating to spill, “He left me for her, even thought he has no goddamn idea who she is. There! Are you happy now?” You bark out the words before turning on your heel and leaving the office, ignoring the calls of apology from your partners.

------

When you finally got back to your apartment, you dumped your stuff by the door and went immediately to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of the strongest alcohol you had. Once you poured the dark amber liquid into the glass your eyes fell to the bottle and realized that it was a gift that Michael had given you for your anniversary. As you stared at the bottle, you felt all the emotions and tears you had been holding back all day finally spill over. It felt like your heart was being torn into a million pieces – not really over Michael leaving you – but at the thought that you would probably be truly and utterly alone for the rest of your life.

You hated this. You hated the stupid tattoos on everyone’s wrists. You hated Michael. You hated his soulmate. You hated the world. At the last thought a harsh sob pulled itself from your throat just as you let out an anguished cry and threw the glass in your hand across the room, watching as it hit the opposite wall with a satisfying crash, the untouched liquid spraying across the wall and floor.

In your emotional and irrational state, the small act gave you some sense of control – a sense  of satisfaction. So, without even thinking, you took the bottle in your hand next and threw it against the ground, watching as it hit the ground with a loud shatter before going silent once more. And as quickly as the satisfaction came, it seemed to leave all at once, and your tears returned full force as you leaned against the fridge and slid to the ground. You were so caught up in you thoughts that you didn’t even hear the rapid knocking on your door or the sound of it opening and footsteps rapidly approaching you until a familiar figure hovered in front of you.

“(y/n)? Jesus Christ – “ Javier’s voice spoke as he looked around you, “What the hell happened?” he asked.

You didn’t respond, you just looked blankly at the man in front of you as he grabbed your hands in his gently, moving to help you up, but he paused when his hands met yours, “Shit – you’re bleeding,” he said, tone serious yet concerned.

His words finally got your attention and you looked down to where his hands cradled yours and sure enough, the palms of your hands had a few cuts on them. Most likely from the glass scattered around you.

Javier let out a small sigh as he took in your shattered state, and he felt his heart constrict at the thought of what you must be going through. He turned away from you momentarily to retrieve the first aid kit he knew you kept under the sink. Once he had that, he tucked it under his arm before picking you up bridal style and walking you into your living room, sitting you down on the couch and taking your hands in his own once more. He started to tend to your wounds in silence, meticulously disinfecting them and wrapping a bandage around them. Neither of you said anything for a while, until he finally broke the silence.

“You’ll find them eventually you know,” he said quietly, pushing past the lump in his throat as he did.

You looked at him, a confused look on your face, “What?”

Javier sighed, “Your soulmate – you’ll find them eventually,” even if I don’t want you too.

He had to bite his tongue before the last words slipped out. He had been harboring feelings for you since the moment you walked into the embassy. He had even planned to ask you out to dinner a few weeks after you had arrived, but when you came in gushing about Michael – it crushed any hope he had of being with you. Honestly, as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he felt a little spark of hope shoot through him when you told him you and Michael had broken up. But now, as he looks at the toll it has taken on you, all he felt was guilt. So, when you let out a humorless laugh, it was his turn to be confused.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

You shook your head, another tear slipping down your cheek, and he had to restrain himself from wiping it away as you spoke, “I don’t have a soulmate Javi,” you whimpered.

He felt his eyes widen at your admission, “you what?” he asks incredulously.

This time you hold your arms out to him, palms up to show him your bare wrists. Javier looked at them in a mixture disbelief and utter elation, thumbs rubbing your wrists lightly and you sigh a little at the contact. Deep down, you had always harbored feeling for your partner, it felt like an instant connection the moment you met, but the minute you found out about his habits, you dismissed the feelings, refusing to sign up for the hurt that was sure to come from a relationship with Javier. You realized after a moment in thought that you had never said anything after Javi, his thumbs still rubbing soothingly over your wrists, waiting patiently for you to respond.

You took in a shaky breath, “The words never appeared when I turned fifteen…or the years after,” you said lowly, “We went to so many specialist, talked to different people, scoured the library and newspapers for something – anything that would explain what was happening but-“ your voice cracked, and you shrugged your shoulders, “nothing. We couldn’t even find another case of this happening to someone,” a new wave of tears poured from your eyes as sobs wracked your body, “I’m going to be alone forever Javi-“ you cry, leaning forward as he pulls you into a tight embrace, “and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it,” you finally whisper.

Javi didn’t say anything at first, weighing his words as he held your shaking form in his arms. You both stayed like that until your sobs turned into small hiccups instead, and Javi finally decided to speak up.

“That’s not true,” he said quietly, hands rubbing up and down your back slowly.

You pulled away from him slightly, wiping at your nose as you sniffled, “What?”

Javier turned his gaze to the floor, uneasiness filling his mind as he struggled to utter the words he had been wanting to tell you for years now, “You don’t have to be alone – you’re not alone (y/n).”

You looked at him confused, unsure of what to say, so Javi took this as his cue to continue. He quickly pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and took his watch off, the one you always assumed covered his soulmate tattoo, only to reveal a blank expanse of skin – exactly like yours. You let out a small gasp and your eyes immediately snap to meet his own.

“You don’t – there’s no-“ your mind is running a million miles a minute at the realization that you are, in fact, not alone in the world.

Javier just sends you a small smile, “I never got my words either,” he admits, “So I just gave up all together, used it as an excuse to throw myself into my work and sleep around. But that was only until-“ he stopped in his tracks, weary of if he should continue down this path, and possibly ruin the partnership and friendship you both had.

You looked at the man crouched in front of you expectantly, hoping, praying he would say the words you had been thinking all these years. Even when you were with Michael.

His adam’s apple bobbed as he struggled to swallow and finally spoke, “Until I met you,” he said softly.

As soon as the words left his mouth, you slid from the couch to kneel in front of him and brought your hands to the back of his neck, pulling him into a hesitant but passionate kiss. Javier was uncertain at first, wary that you were just upset – emotional from the breakup. But as soon as your lips met, as cliché as it sounded, it was like sparks flew. A fire ignited within Javier, something he had never felt with anyone he had been with before. And he eagerly retuned the kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you up, so you were straddling him. Unfortunately, it felt as soon as you had kissed him you were pulling away, panting slightly and eyes wide as you looked down at him.

“Woah,” you both said in unison.

You let out a huff of laughter and leaned your forehead against Javier’s taking in a deep breath, relishing in the feeling if his arms around you. Your breaths mingled together as you continued to sit together, minds racing, trying to understand what you were feeling. As contradictory as it sounded, the thought that keeps crossing your mind is that you and Javi were meant for each other.

In some weird twist of fate, by neither of you having a soulmate – maybe you were soulmates. You closed your eyes as tears of relief and happiness gathered in your eyes and you finally spoke up, “I never thought that I would-“ your voice catches in your throat and Javi pulls away from you slightly, a hand cupping your cheek gently, thumb brushing away a tray tear.

“I didn’t either,” he admits quietly, a small smile adorning his face, “and then there was you.”

You let out a quiet laugh and kiss him quickly before nuzzling your face into his neck, “and then there was you,” you repeat, a contented sigh escaping your lips as you and Javi stayed in each other’s arms.

////

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[copias-thrall]

There’s Something About Mary

A day in the life of our crusty Mr. Goore

Mary POV chapter bc I want to and I can.

⬅️ Previous

*public masturbation, kinda*

Mary wakes up horny.

He must have been having a pleasant dream, because his cock is hard and throbbing where it rests heavy against his thigh. He shoves a hand down into his undone jeans to give his cock a squeeze—just for a moment of relief—and, as the touch wakes him up fully, he realizes he can hear the distinct sounds of sex from one of the rooms. A thump thump thump and a squeak squeak squeak, all punctuated with blatant moans.

Fuck it, he thinks, and he begins to jack it to the sex orchestra going on, not 10ft from where he lies on the couch. Once a place they sometimes took turns on, the couch has become Mary’s de facto room—a subtle punishment for his supposed defection. So, he has no qualms about masturbating in his room, and if any of the other guys have an issue with it, Mary has no problem making his display more public, just for spite.

He pauses only to spit in his hand when his dry palm begins to chafe. It doesn’t even matter when the noises from the other room cease (and later Mary will have to tease them about their staying power), Mary just scrolls through his mental Rolodex until he brings up the memory of his dick in between Suey’s tits, how they jiggled despite being held together, how shiny they became once covered in his jizz, and how she looked up at him as she contorted one to bring it up to her mouth to lap some off.

“Shit, shit,” he exclaims as the memory of her pink tongue lapping up his cum causes him to release. Some shoots up his bare chest, but most of it lands and pools in his belly button. Eyes still closed, his free hand shoots out and fumbles for the box of tissues on the table, encountering instead a stack of thin takeout napkins.

As he does his best to clean himself up with the napkins—whose integrity is suspect—he can hear the low rumble of male voices and a high, feminine giggle from the sex room. Just to be a jackass, he gets himself up so that he can have first dibs on the bathroom.

Making sure to lock the door behind him, Mary turns on the hot faucet, willing the water to warm up sooner than later. He takes the opportunity, while he waits, to piss in the toilet; it’s already open—toilet seat up—even though it’s supposed to put it down when they have guests. They’re out of TP again, so a roll of paper towels rests on the lid of the tank.

Once the water is warm enough, Mary uses a couple pieces from the roll to clean off the jizz drying and to give himself a brief wipe down. His face is still half crusty with makeup, and he’s tempted to just add to it, but he’s learned from hard experience how that can fuck up your face, so—even though it’s a goddamned pain—Mary washes his face. He even uses the harsh Dial hand soap, even though the acrid smell will get up into his nose for hours.

He thinks of the nice-smelling scrub Suey has and her drugstore face cream he sometimes rubs into his skin.

In the soap- and toothpaste-speckled mirror, he starts to apply his “Day Face” (as Suey calls it) from the communal box of makeup (his better stuff is in his backpack): a light dusting of white powder; some eyeliner all the way around; a dull, red lipstick; and black shadow on his cheekbones.

He’s just starting on his hair when there comes a pounding on the door

“Fucks’ sake. C’mon, Goore.”

Mary turns his head upside down in the sink basin so he can haphazardly splash some water into his hair.

“Fuck off, douchebag.”

He starts to work his fingers into his locks, coaxing the glue already in it to activate.

“She’s gotta pee, man.”

He fluffs his forelock in the mirror as his other hand searches for the blood tube in the box.

“We have a kitchen sink.”

A small voice tells him not to take his annoyance with his friends out on the girl, and he sighs.

“Stop being a di—”

The voice cuts off as Mary swings the door open. Brendan's angry face smooths into one of minor irritation. The girl—Lisa?—stands, thighs crushed together, in an oversized kitten t-shirt. She looks at Mary, wide-eyed; her gaze darts to his bare, wet chest before snapping back up.

“Lis,” he says, winking as he saunters out.

Her face crumples a little.

“Lizzy,” she says, and Mary’s stomach swoops a bit when he realizes he’s probably slept with her before.

He makes himself smile as she moves past him to the bathroom.

“That’s what I said: Liz.” He shoots her a finger gun at her as Brendan scowls at them both. When the door closes and Brendan is still glaring, Mary lets out a “What?”

“You sticking around for breakfast, man?”

Mary rolls his eyes. “I’m here, ain’t I?” He starts to paw through the plastic shelving drawers next to the couch for a shirt.

Brendan shrugs. “Thought your pussy-whipped ass might need to get back to that uptown princess of yours.”

He glares at Brendan. “Stop being dick.”

“She’s fucking slumming it, dude. I’m warning you.”

It’s not a new argument, so Mary just ignores him, instead trying to apply a bit of blood to the tip of his forelock using the heart compact Suey gave him.

Titus emerges from the shared room, yawning, in his terrible leopard print robe that’s way too short.

“Morning, asswipe,” he says to Mary as he walks by. “What’re we bitching about?”

Brendan says “uptown girl” as Mary says “nothing.”

Titus sighs.

“Jesus, Brendan. You gotta get over that. That’s Mary’s mistake to make.”

“You know what? Fuck this shit.” Mary starts getting his backpack in order.

“That’s right! Blow off another band meeting!” says Brendan, and Mary spins on his heel to stomp back.

He jabs a finger into his chest. “I’m here all the goddamned time, more than I am at her place. I come to every meeting you tell me about.”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you about anything. You should just be here. You should be committed,” hisses Brendan.

“I’m going to make some toast,” says Titus as he swishes toward the kitchen.

Mary rifles through his plastic draws and slams a notebook and loose papers onto the table.

“There’s mine, dude. Lyrics. Composition. Where’s yours?”

Donnie and Jamie wander out of their room.

“Not this shit again. It’s too fucking early,” says Donnie.

Brendan vibrates. “What about funds, man? A social media presence? You think all that happens by magic?”

“So I’m supposed to write, and compose, and do the budget?” snarls Mary.

“Guys,” moans Jamie.

“And our Insta is shit, by the way.”

“Fuck. Can we not?” moans Donnie.

Mary again jabs a finger at Brendan. “Then tell him to can it. I’ve already been exiled to the couch. I don’t need him picking fights because he doesn’t like my girlfriend, who—by the way—has never fucking done anything wrong.”

“You haven’t been exil—” Jamie starts.

“We were supposed to fucking share those rooms,” Mary hisses as he gesticulates. “I pay the same amount of rent, and yet I come home one day to find all my stuff in a pile in the living room. I have to wait for you guys to stop playing video games because ‘this is shared space’ to fucking sleep.”

“We all agreed—”

“No. You guys agreed. I didn’t get shit to say about it. So you’ll forgive me if I’m not too fucking keen on being pleasant.”

They all stand there, glowering at each other until Donnie says, “I need to take a goddamned piss,” and finds the bathroom door locked. At his soft The fuck? the lock clicks, and Lizzy opens the door cautiously.

“I’m sorry. It just. Seemed like you guys were getting into it.”

Brendan sighs. “C’mon, babe. Let’s get your stuff.”

The fight isn’t a new one, and—with no resolution in sight—they all drop the subject so they can get on with the breakfast of eggs on toast Titus brings out and the subsequent band meeting. The Brick—a cheap, overworked laptop—is brought out so they can go over band business: the budget; the van maintenance and parking costs; the gig and practice schedule is outlined so that they can align their work shifts; new merch ideas are bandied about; and they talk about how to improve their digital sales.

Mary’s leg jiggles impatiently.

The meeting breaks nearly 5hrs later; Jamie goes back to sleep because he’s got the night shift at the Quik•Mart; Brendan heads out for his afternoon shift at Target; it’s Donnie’s day off, so he cues up Mario Kart; and Titus decides he’s going to go pound on the drums in the practice space they rent, since his dad pays his bills.

Mary has been saddled with stopping by the local record stores to see if any of their physical CDs have sold to prove he’s “committed,” even though he’s got the closing shift at Sixes & Sevens.

As he’s leaving the building, he encounters Brendan, who is leaning against the brick, smoking a cigarette. Mary’s fingers twitch.

“So you’re not coming back tonight, then.”

“We have band business?”

“No.”

“Then, no.”

Brendan lets out a puff of smoke.

“You think I’m being a dick, but that girl does not care about you. She’s a tourist. Us—the band. That’s what’s real, Mary.”

Mary knows he should keep walking, but even after counting to 10, he’s still pissed, so he spins on his heel.

“You don’t know anything about her or her goddamned life.”

“Neither do you.” He finishes the smoke, then tosses it to the pavement to grind under his combat boot. “We’ll be here when it all explodes in your face, Goore. But you’re going to have to rebuild a lot of bridges.”

And then he’s off down the sidewalk. Mary stands there, seething, waiting until Brendan disappears round the corner since he’s also headed in that direction.

He’s not really in the best of moods when he hits up the first store, but by the 4th, he’s back to his plucky repartee. The owner of his favorite shop intimates that a vinyl version of their LP might sell much better than their DIY CD, and Mary enthusiastically thanks the dude as if it’s the first time such a concept has been considered.

The whole route honestly doesn’t even really take that much time at all—maybe 2 hours—so he chances stopping by Suey’s. Worst case, he’ll take a nap; best case, she’ll be there to bitch at him.

Like everything else today, however, circumstances are just not on his side, and he opens the door to her tiny fucking apartment to find it empty. The mail is bad again, and he rifles through it, plucking out anything that’s obviously junk to toss and anything that looks like a bill to put on her counter. There’s only a bowl in the sink, so he leaves it.

He’s hoping that she comes home before he has to leave—maybe she’ll even give him a blow job—as he wraps himself up in the afghan that smells slightly of her.

She doesn’t.

His alarm wakes him up at 4:15pm for his shift at 6. Groggily, he stumbles to the fridge to see what there is to eat, and finds a pot crammed in haphazardly amongst the other food items. Mary’s not really sure what he’s looking at—Suey tends to just throw shit together when she can’t be bothered, but most of the time it’s edible.

It ends up being some sort of cheesy potato stew and actually isn’t that bad. He eats the whole thing out of the pot before scrubbing it and the lone bowl clean. He waits as long as he dares to watch her come clomping tiredly through her door, but he really does have to leave. He leaves a kiss on her mirror after he reapplies his lipstick. (He should probably redo his face but: eh.)

Work is work. It starts slow—with Mary taking down the chairs and wiping off everything with the disinfectant spray. Sometimes Mary finds this kind of Zen—a time to hum out chords and roll around lyrics in his head—but today he’s just tired. It gets a little better when Mickey and the other bartender show up to do citrus prep. It’s a weekday, so there’s only a moderate crowd, and Mickey leaves them to it so he can do business manager-type things in his office.

And then there are the girls. Most of the girls who come to Sixes & Sevens aren’t the type to be put off by Mary’s whole shtick—and there are obviously the ones who come here expressly to flirt with him—so he has no qualms turning on his charms. Mickey lets him do it because customers are customers, and if girls want to come and spend money on drinks while they purr at Mary, who is Mickey to stop them? Len or Mika don’t give a shit because tips are pooled.

Used to be Mary could have his pick of a warm body for the evening—some girl (or occasionally some guy if Mary deemed him beefy enough) who’d take him to her nice-smelling, clean apartment … who’d let him spend the night on her soft, downy pillows after he pounded her into next year, before kicking him out at dawn. But now he’s got a girlfriend—one who makes sure he eats and yells at him to wash his face—waiting for him in her stale apartment with her flat, polyester pillows, and Mary hopes he’s not fool enough to fuck that up.

Not that his dick has gotten the memo.

No matter how many times Mary tells that fucker that he’s not going to fuck any of these women, his dick still twitches in interest whenever plump lips are wrapped around straws or fingertips trail over his hand. Tonight is especially bad for some reason, and Mary has to stick close to the walls of the bar so that no one can see his semi. A girl in a furry, white shrug seems particularly on his dick, and he does his best to flirt just enough for a good tip, but not enough for a proposition.

When he gets his break, Mary takes it out back in the alley by the dumpster. The air is chill, but it feels good after the humidity of the bar. He was hoping maybe his dick would go down, but it’s like it’s trying to spite him. Leaning his head back on the wall, he can’t help but close his eyes and run his palm lightly over the outline. It’s a fool’s errand—it’s not like he can get off without it showing on his pants—but that doesn’t stop him from touching.

A voice clears, and Mary startles. He’s out here by the rancid garbage so he can be alone, so he wasn’t really expecting to find anyone else.

“I can help you with that,” says the girl with the white fur that may or may not be real. She’s standing across from him, and he can see that she’s in a dress so simple that it must be hella expensive. She’s holding an unlit cigarette.

Mary jerks his hand away from his crotch, shifting so that he can surreptitiously adjust his jeans.

“The fuck are you doing out back here?”

She shrugs. “Needed to get away from my bitches. I love them but: drama city. You got a light?”

He knows it’s a ruse, but he still fumbles out his Zippo because he’s a goddamned gentleman. She, shockingly, takes the opportunity to move in closer to his body as he holds out the flame … close enough to blow the smoke of the first drag in his face.

“So,” she says, eyes darting down to his semi. “You want me suck that?” She gesticulates with her chin, posture nonchalant but eyes hungry.

His dick gives an answering throb, but he shrugs. “Nah. I got a girl.”

She looks at him, assessing, before half crossing her arms and taking another drag. Smoke pours out her nose.

“She’s not here.”

Mary doesn’t respond immediately, not knowing how to get out of this. She hasn’t said anything untrue. He’s horny, Suey’s not here, and she wants to suck his cock.

He reaches his hand up and taps his breast where he thinks his heart is.

“She’s here,” he says, and he’s glad Suey’s not present because hoo boy would she give him shit for that winner.

The girl just tilts her head at him, this time blowing smoke out the side of her mouth after she inhales. It occurs to Mary that he wants her cigarette more than his dick wants to be sucked. If she thinks this is some kind of elaborate game of hard to get, she’s sorely mistaken.

“You got a picture?”

“A … what?”

She gesticulates impatiently. “A picture. Of this girlfriend.”

Mary thinks, then pats around for his wallet, even though he only ever puts it in his back pocket. When she sees the wallet come out, she laughs.

“An actual picture? That’s old school.”

He shrugs as he rifles. “I’m on my break.” He doesn’t tell her that his ancient flip phone doesn’t take pictures. Well, not good ones.

The photo of Suey he has is relatively new—slipped in behind the old, worn one of his mum—but its edges are starting to soften. In the image, Suey stands, hip popped, as she gives him the finger with a snotty look on her face. She’s in one of her weird 90′s outfits—a micro mini and tied up band tee—and the cute pudge of her belly hangs over her waist band a little. Her hair is pushed back from her face because she’s just lifted up her sunglasses—there’s still a little mark on her nose where they were resting.

She hates this picture, but her attitude makes him smile.

“You gonna ogle it all night, Mary?”

Mary’s attention snaps back to the alley. He ignores the intimacy. Carefully, with a stern look on his face that he hopes conveys how much the photo is not to be fucked with, he hands the picture over.

White Fur looks at the picture for a long time. Then she looks up at him. She gives the image one more glance before handing it back to him.

“Yeah, ok,” she says as she crosses her arms again.

Mary tucks the photo back into his wallet.

“The fuck does that mean?” he scowls. He’s just about had it with people insulting Suey today, and some random-ass girl in a back alley is the last person he’d let get away with it, even if she is a fan.

She takes her last drag before flicking the stub in the direction of a dumpster.

“Dunno. You seem like the type to have some scene girl with more legs than brains hanging off your arm.”

Mary thinks that’s a little uncharitable: he’s always been an equal-opportunity lay.

“She seems legit though,” the girl continues. “Makes sense.”

“Uh. Thanks?”

“Yeah, no problem.” She heads for the door, but stops to smirk at him. “Looks like I helped after all.”

As she swings back inside, Mary looks down to realize his hard-on is gone.

Mickey doesn’t cut him early, but he doesn’t make him stay past closing either. Even so, it’s still after 3am when he gets to Suey’s. The bills are gone from the counter, but there are no new dishes in the sink. He opens the fridge to find a pizza box crumpled into the top, balanced precariously on the other items. Mary takes it out and inhales the cold pizza right from the box; he knows they’re all for him because Suey fucking hates pepperoni. (Though it doesn’t escape his notice that she’s put one piece of pineapple in the center to mess with him.)

He leaves the box by the trash (he’ll flatten it tomorrow), and then makes his way to her bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, lest he incur her wrath.

When he finally wiggles into her twin bed in his boxers, he’s bone tired. His dick still kinda wants some action, but Mary thinks he’d probably just fall asleep in the middle, and Suey really would bite his head off if he woke her up for no reason. He wishes she’d just sleep nude, but finding her in one of his well-worn shirts is the next best thing. He doesn’t mean to wake her up, but he can’t help himself from running his hands all over her—this girl who sees him and not his “image.”

“Mare?” she says in a quiet, sleepy voice.

He kisses her head.

“Go back to sleep, baby doll.”

She doesn’t speak again, but she squirms around until she’s sprawled across his chest. He’d prefer to have her caught up in a little spoon, but having her pressed into him—body sleep warm—is nothing to wave a stick at.

This is all he wanted, anyway.

Next ➡️

[inosukeslefttoe]

so,,, yesterday i read this manhwa called “the horizon” (i forget the author but ill put them in the tags) and good god... it was so heartbreakingly beautiful and im gonna make a few posts about it B) ((i say a few bc theres a few things i wanna talk about but i dont wanna make it all unorganized ?? if that makes sense))

first theres just the amazing artwork done in this piece... the range is just fucking incredible and every single panel had so much work and heart put into it and i had to sit there just to really admire the art of each page for a long time (usually im an impatient little bitch and skim artwork in manga/manhwa but damn this one was something else). but like !! look at how many different styles and shit the artist did depending on the circumstances !! 

oh if i didnt mention,, this manhwa is like an apocalyptic world where this little boy meets a little girl and they just sort of roam the world together right... but they come across so many terrible things and theres this back and forth between hope and despair and everytime you start to be like “hey maybe things will be good for them, or at least as good as they can be” the tiniest thing happens that just shatters all that hope to the ground and suddenly everything is lost again. it really reminds me of this book i read for english called the road by uh.. something mccarthy i think... and it was about a boy and his dad trying to survive and walk down a road together in a post apocalyptic world and it was also sad as shit. BUT IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. BACK TO THE ARTWORK.

so thE RANGE OF STYLES YES THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. as i already said, its just this whole rollercoaster of emotions but it really forces you to sit there and fucking f e e l your emotions yknow? it makes it impossible to just sit there and be like “lol damn thats sad” ,, the art and the layout are so shocking and stunning that you h a v e to sit there and admire them and think about the events and really just feel every ounce of emotion and loss that the characters are going through and that the artist put into this piece. it did this thing where it would sometimes stretch on for a few pages of just the same frame with tiny differences just taking up the whole page without any words/little words to let the magnitude of the situation sink in and envelope you. its so powerful with its message especially with the themes of hope and loss and it just... usually i keep pop culture/anime/manhwa feels separate from my irl feels but... dude this one was so fuckin amazing that i genuinely had to take a break a few times bc the feels were getting all mixed up and i genuinely felt that sorrow that the characters were feeling. i seriously wanna read this again actually so i focus more on the amazing art since i know the story already.

i just love how much it switches up from all the different looks too. sometimes it would have that classic anime/manhwa feel to it especially when there were lots of characters (i didnt include a sc for that oops) but a lot of the time it would focus on the beauty/emptiness of the landscape around the characters since there wasnt really much left in the world. there were a lot of gruesome scenes drawn in that sort of chalky/charcoaly look that involved death and i am just obsessed with how they made it look so organic and like it was actually, yknow decomposing. they also used a really messy scribbly style when super chaotically terrible things where happening, both externally and internally which was such a perfect reflection of those bundled up negative and hopeless emotions that were present throughout the story. it sort of made it seem like those things were simply too horrible to be drawn fully and even the artist couldnt subject the reader to such a terrible sight. also ... the use of color... usually they would use color to represent the presence of hope and damn dude it really worked... especially after seeing some of these same images consecutively and that dramatic change really makes the reader feel so much brighter and happier when hope is back in the story !! although that one other colored scene... where the boy is in the ocean... god that hurts my heart so badly... i think the color was used in that case to show the reality of his situation and that it was really r e a l yknow ??? it wasnt just a comic written to make ppl sad and thinking about death,, this is that kids whole LIFE and he had to accept the (bad thing that happened but im not gonna write it bc i dont wanna spoil) was something that happened and now he really had no reason to keep on living... and all these feelings are so wonderfully portrayed and definitely did a very good job of making me, the reader, Very Sad. 

HAHA I DIDNT WANT THIS TO BE TOO LONG BUT I RAMBLED LMAO... ill prolly make one or two more posts about this but they wont nearly be as long dont worry

1-6-21

[rootedinfaith]

Okayyyyy it’s time to admit a bunch of things about myself that I like to think are longer defining parts of my personality but they STILL ARE:

I am absolutely terrified of being left, deserted, abandoned. So much so that I would rather leave everyone and everything and blame my departure on something they did a long time ago that simply ~forced my hand~ into leaving than just admit that I feel insecure or need reassurance or am just scared

I would rather saw off my own arm than look (or feel) like an idiot in front of anyone, for any reason, ever

I do not believe that intensely difficult emotions are survivable and I do anything I can to avoid them

Conversely, I am filled with dread and despair when I experience positive emotions because I am afraid of their ephemeral nature. When they are gone there is only emptiness or difficult emotions and, as I said, I can’t deal with that shit

I try to know a lot of things but I do not have a steel trap brain for every piece of information I encounter as I know some people do. What I don’t know or struggle to understand, because of my cognitive challenges or because of clashes with my beliefs, I reject almost outright. Why? Because if I don’t get it, I can’t control it. I can’t bend it to my will and make it do for me what I need it to do in order to feel safe

I am impatient. When I don’t get my way, I riot. I am almost always a moment away from from bashing in a car window because something I planned for my life went awry

Okay I think that’s it. I just really needed to indict myself in public because while there are so many good things about me (that I won’t list here bc that’s not what this post is about), I am really out here CLOWNIN 🤡 acting like I am not just falling back on old shit A LOT this year that is a direct result of my complex trauma and childhood conditioning, shit that I am currently paying too much money a month to address to still be acting like I’m not tryna grow the fuck up.

Yes, we are all called to be kind and merciful to ourselves when we experience seasons of regression. To examine why, to listen to ourselves without judgment, to take care of ourselves so that we have the energy to return more fully to the healing journey. I’m all for that, I promise. But first, I need to be honest with myself because I’m preaching the false gospel of “I’m fine” right now when I’m not fine. There is a storm brewing inside of me. It comes from my history and these attributes are the hailstones. Time to calm the weather system.

[solipseismic]

hi i am curious please tell me about skysteel/ira and neasa 🥺👉👈

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS. the absolute best (worst?) question u could ever ask about me. ira neda is my entire life. she is,,,, very special to me. i mean neasa is also very neat BUT. ira neda .... u have just Unlocked So Many Things and i absolutely adore u for it. thank u so fuckin much. ira neda is one of my oldest characters and (arguably) my most developed + favorite and requires. a little bit of context from everything else i think and i'm very bad at explaining my characters in concise ways so um. have this word dump !!!! i'm gonna,,, i'm gonna make a separate post for neasa and. tag u in that one bc this is uh. this is gonna be Longe.

- SO ira neda roshani is, at the current moment, a part alien / part human vigilante based in Anehaven, New York (fictional city) and she has cool Cosmic Space and Dimensional Based Powers which is why 99% of her aesthetics are just Galaxy Shit

- trivia :  the human bit of her is Farsi, she’s 5′1 (as a human), pan and greyromantic / -sexual, she used to be in a very - very - short-lived band (lead singer / songwriter!), two-time Olympic champ (figure skater!), has The Chronic Sad (clinical depression), currently works as a figure skating coach (But Really She’s Also Coaching Mini Vigilantes)

- she’s impatient and reckless and not very grounded, with an effervescent personality that takes up a lot of Room, so to speak. ira’s just one of those glowy people you meet and they’re so charismatic and funny and outgoing that you just instantly fall in love with, you know?

- below the line is a shit ton of context. like a lot. there is so much. i had to stop myself from putting more because it’s not actually necessary. i’m so sorry.

- her specific Flavor(tm) of alien is Dragich, which - essentially - are dragons. space lizards. with magic. her Flavor(tm) of human is from Earth Variant 65, colloquially known as EV- / Eve-65, which is the EV that she occupies for the majority of her series

- so, Dragich, right??? weird ass old lizards. the general idea is that there are Other Dimensions and one of those is (sometimes) called the soul dimension which also may be the fourth dimension (but i would need to research a bit more to apply that theory). in the beginning there was nothing, and then there were Dragich. they’re simultaneously the oldest and most powerful beings in existence and the majority of the other worlds that know of their existence generally agree that they’re meddling shits but also super kinda useful meddling shits. they’re like deus ex machina if that was, like, an entire people because they’re so far advanced that their technology and thaumaturgy (tech / magic fusion) are like. mindblowingly complex and useful, right? the kicker is that they’re immortal. like age-wise. they CAN be killed through outside influences but as they age they just keep getting more powerful

- there are different FLAVORS of dragich. i think off the top of my head maybe ten to fifteen different Clans but every few years i shuffle thru them and delete / add a few as needed. different Clans have different kinds of magic but the younger you are, the more likely it is that you ALSO have pieces of OTHER Clans’ magic because u know. inter-Clan marriage and all (using marriage loosely here bc they don’t rly have the same concept of that whole,, thing). the older u are, the more “rigid” your magic is. Dragich actually have super cool nuanced names for the different Clans but then the Merni were like “bro that shit’s a whole mouthful” and named each clan a different compound word for what they could do, which is what made it into English

----- for instance, Rinascz is Holy Shit Fuck Dirt Old and while she has Holy Shit Fuck Powerful magic, she can literally only do ice magic (Iceheart), which is limited hydrokinesis and being able to leech energy / warmth out of things + her surroundings but she’s really, really good at it

----- and then on the other hand, we have Nixrhyis, who’s like. sixteen (in human years, during book three). she’s a Realitybent (telepaths) but she’s actually kind of awful at it. HOWEVER, she’s young enough that she has a kind of jack of all trades general magic, which enables her to make Hexes and Wards (offensive / defensive magic, respectively) to Do Things (but nixie is rly an extreme example, most dragich don’t have that brand of jack of all trades magic unless they specifically specialize in it)

---- Dragich have three names. it’s not like, three parts of a whole name (eg american / english names). it’s like. three different names. you have your informal / family name that’s pretty fluid, ur parents give u one but u can do whatever you want with it. then u have ur formal name, which is like the one that strangers call you (it’s generally considered polite to use the formal name if you don’t know the person very well) and then you have your clan name. so in order of appearance we have Ira Neda / Skysteel / Starcall, Rinascz / Frostcliff / Iceheart, Nixrhyis / Raindancer / Realitybent

- so now that we have THAT. ira neda is a Starcall. this means different things for different people because even within a clan, different people like to specialize in different things, but Starcall is like the explorer / diplomat Clan. they have two types of magic; superficial and unseen

----- superficial is like, easily seen and understandable - the ability to learn any language once you’ve listened to a few sentences of it, the ability to assimilate into / learn any culture once you’ve been exposed to it for an hour or two, generalized invulnerability and resistance to extremes (for flying! in space!!), big fuck-off wings, the ability to teleport and “Hop” between worlds / dimensions / universes

----- unseen is more subtle - the ability to influence different realities (somewhat, nothing wild), a wildly amazing ability to multitask (to keep track of everything), the ability to create artifacts (Things imbued w magic!) that enable dimension / universe-Hopping, general facilitation of magic shenanigans pertaining to space and dimensional shit, space warping (to be used! for flying! in space!)

----- the thing about unseen is that it’s (usually) subconscious. ira neda can’t influence the outcome of something, but she can - potentially - look into other mirror realities to look at the outcomes (she never does, she doesn’t fw other realities). it’s nigh-impossible to consciously do these things with the exception of creating artifacts, but THAT is a very specialized branch of magic you have to Work Hard at

- ira neda used to have a twin, adrian nemat, who died when they were both 18. essentially, there are people (organized into a whole group; worship the primordial concept of Chaos; nicknamed “The Forsaken” because like chaos as an ideal is chill but these people are NOT) who HATE starcalls because they can do some real shady shit with their magic (and they have in the past but not as a group, just Abuse of Power from Certain Individuals) but also because they’re super good for keeping the, like cosmic Balance. so when ira and adrian were like 5 or 6, the Forsaken were like “bro i’m tired of these mfs” and got rid of (almost) all of the starcalls, including ira / adrian’s mother, and killed their father (he wasn’t a starcall, rip to him tho)

----- right but ira and adrian survived and went on to be raised on earth as somewhat-humans by a family friend, Erysidn / Steelweaver / Soulsurge, hence the wildly successful skating careers (they did not use their magic to cheat, if ur wondering) bc partial Dragich have the superfun option of being able to SHAPESHIFT, so their “natural” form is a fusion of the two but they’re also able to be in various states between the two, including All The Way Dragich and All the Way [Insert Other Species]. at the ripe and tender age of 18, the twins were targeted by the Forsaken, who realized they’d not gotten All of the starcalls, and adrian nemat was killed

----- a small recess to explain that dragich twins are different from human twins in that they’re like. one person / two bodies. the prevailing theory is that they Share a Soul (not physical) but have Two Brains (yes physical), so twins’ magic is typically not quite TWICE as strong but. stronger. they’re a little less common than human twins tho

---- so naturally ira went insane (like, clinically) from the strain of her twin dying because most Dragich actually DON’T survive the death of a twin and has approx. three years of her life that she does not remember (spent in the dragich equivalent of in-patient care)

- i’m actually struggling w what i want to do w her character at this junction because. she has so Much because i haven’t,,, like realistically considered how she would work as an Actual Person so i’ve had to pare her down a bit bc some of the stuff i’ve tabled for her is. actually ridiculous. still kind of is (oops)

- so anyways once ira recovers from her Ordeal (around 21-22) she goes out with some friends because she’s... tired of living with the consequences of her past. they just kind of explore other universes and worlds together for several years, as u do. we have Neri and Rian (Linktae, shapeshifter-y shadow people), Etryn (Merni, humanoid ppl who use wood- and blood-based magic), and Danika / Tiyerte (another Dragich lady !!!!!). they have this lil group (found family) and they’re all incredibly close friends from Very Young Ages so adrian nemat’s death hit them all extremely hard (none as badly as ira tho)

- right so when they’re done with this (29?? 27 ish??? maybe??) ira goes back to her earth of origin because she has found out during her travels that the ppl who were responsible for adrian’s death are still alive !! so that’s why she becomes a vigilante in Anehaven, w the call sign “Skysteel”