#bc i didn’t get the lewk i wanted??

[pollenallergie]

even tho i do not feel cute today (and i do not think this is a good picture of me) and my sweatshirt is covered in cat hair… you may have a picture of my new hair.

[miikaji]

fun fact! 😌✨

my pfp is me from the loona concert last year! i was looking at my recent concert selfies and thought “damn... i do be looking cute sometimes” lol

^ LOONA + KCON 2K22 ^

i wanted to be as colorful as possible when i went to see them! this was actually my day 2 look (see day 1 below). currently, loona is honestly probs one of my ult girl groups of the 4th gen. idk how but i ended up falling in love with a LOT of their discography a little after their official debut. when i heard about their tour (and that chuu wasn’t going to be participating...) i KNEW i had to go. i didn’t want to chance not seeing my girls on their first, and possibly only, tour. i bought VIP and everything for BOTH nights i went....

^ Day 1!!! I’m actually pretty happy I took photos of the few freebies I got (because usually they get destroyed at some point in transit back home... which happened lol)

(backside)

(frontside)

ALSO!!! I met a Once before going to the venue and she gave me some freebies from when she went to Twice’s most recent concert. She only had a few but let me pick out a Momo, Jihyo and Chaeyoung pc 🥺💕

THEE ENTIRE DAY 2 LOOK!!! lol this was the only full lewk snap I got of it. YES, I did wear crocs. The crocs were on my feet when I went into the venue. I made a mistake wearing playform sneakers the day before and I learned the error of my ways. I was SOOOO much more comofrtable night 2 bc tbh I sweated a lot in line day 1 and didn’t have things to freshen up from what the sun had caused. Peep the bags of shit by my feet lol I was READY with extra deo, deo spray, body sprays, wipes, hydration items... ALLTHAT

You see that? That’s me in pure bliss. I was closer night 2 as well?? My feet were still hurting??? My body was in pain??? But Loona cured all that??

night two was the only night i had the photo, but i will literally never regret spending the money i did to have this experience... got to do hi-touch both nights! i didn’t intend on this post getting so long lol but since i’m remembering it all now i remember how lip went “your hair!” when she saw me lol. vivi and yves were like so enthusiastic too when it was my turn... it was so fast though, even though i did it 2 nights in a row, its still like a blur of how crazy pretty they are in person 😭 i thought that was gonna be the last and only time i’d see loona.... then kcon happened 👁👄👁 LOL!! Sadly, for a friend of mine, my homie who was at the con got sick with Covid and didn’t want to waste the night 2 concert ticket... SO SHE GIVES IT TO ME FOR FREE?????

^ my ass RUNNING to the floor bc WTF???

LIKE??????

^ me turning my lightstick green for NCT since I don’t own NCT merch

SPEAKING OF THAT LIGHTSTICK. I ALMOST FORGOT. Shoutout to that random attendee who just gave me batteries for my lightstick once I got to the floor? Kcon was literally at the end of the month (Loona’s concerts were on the 1st and 2nd of the month) so my batteries were def dead lol. BUT BLESS THEM!!! 😭 It was so fun. i screamed a lot.

(also also i can’t believe i was attendance for the iconic “RUN TO YEW” from stacy bskfjkfn)

^ MCR 2K22 ^

BRUH.

First off, this was my first trip to Vegas?? I might make a whole entire separate post for the Vegas pictures and tings (because I wanna document for myself). All I’ll say for this is even with my fro fro out and lazy make up, I still felt very cute seeing MCR for like the 10th time uwu

. . .

AND WITH A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND WHO LITERALLY NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE??? WHAT???

I MISSED YOU KURT AND I HOPE IT WAS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER SHFBNHKSDBNFSJKNF

^ MM@TA 2K23 ^

OKAY THERE’S SO MUCH I COULD SAY BUT LEMME JUST SAY THIS. I GOT TO SEE THEIR SOUND CHECK?? (See Below)

Literally life changing experience omg hsnfknsjf

Currently, Meet Me @ The Altar is like THEE band for me. Their music is so good?? I knew I HAD to see them!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I’d write more but my brain is shutting down LOL!! I will say, I was kinda sad I couldn’t get my hair done before the show. Them braids was my b-day braids and the way my part looked like moses parted the seas once it was this concert date (mid March, bday was in Jan). So I included a pic below of this actual lewk in all its glory lol.

Bday was lit lol. Edith and I had a moment. I was UP front. TOUCHING the stage. She may or may not be my hair inspo lol

^ RICO NASTY 2K23 ^ THIS YEAR IS LITERALLY INSANE WITH THE CONCERT LINEUPS???

So lemme just say this... bc there was a lot going on for this hbfkdjs

FIRST OFF. PEEP THAT MY HAIR IS BLUE.

I had to get rid of the green and get my hair braided again. My mom mentions “oh hey children I’m getting this life changing award from my sorority and its SUPER IMPORTANT that you show up. this means SO MUCH TO ME.” so me being the OG i am i decided to get my hair done in the colors of her sorority (blue and white, I wanted to get silver but didn’t have enough for the other hair shfnksf). She goes “oh you don’t have to do the blue” and I’m just HUH???

COME TO FIND OUT.

SHE WASN’T GETTING NO AWARD.

MY DAD FINISHED SCHOOL AND HE WAS GRADUATING.

lol but it was cool i actually ended up liking the blue.

ANYWAY.

I was also very excited for this show BECAUSE of the fact that its been FOREVEEEEER since Rico went on her own solo tour!!!!!! Like I love you Rico but I can’t justify paying music festival money just to see YOU do a set for a set amount of time like no. I wanna spend hours with you. So much so... I went to TWO Rico Nasty shows 🧍🏾‍♀️

low quality pic of my messy make uwu

i WISH i was smart enough to check monster energy’s ig. this tour was sponsored by them and when i was in line, they were snapping pics of fans who would accept a free monster (i didn’t want to die so i said yes to the monster lol). rico’s folks also took pics but i have noooo idea where those are... my fit was so cute too 😭  even tho... i’m noticing i keep wearing that same damn pink crop cardigan 💀

^ rico’s reaction when we all started screaming every word to iphone 🥺💕

man.. i was out of BREATH this whole show the way I was jumping and yelling all the lyrics hsnbfksdjnf. my feet were fucking SCREAMING in pain. i felt so bad to the people who were trying to talk to me bc the way i was mentally checked out whenever there wasn’t music going hgbnksnjfd night 2 was WORSE for my feel and social battery but omfg i’d still do it all over again lol my crocs sadly could not save me either show

^ TWICE 2K23 ^

FIRST OFF.

THANK YOU TO MY FRIEND TRIN.

FOR LITERALLY BUYING ME A TICKET TO SEE TWICE THE DAY BEFORE THE SHOW???? 😭😭😭😭😭

My first time finally seeing Twice and you wanna know what I SEE the second I enter the venue?!??!?

HELLO???

LIKE?!?!?

THEY’RE INSANE FOR THIS

LOL

(also thank you for sticking with me if you got this far i by no means meant for this post to be so long hsfkjnf i wish i could have added this videos but i guess the gifs will do)

i didn’t document a lot of the freebies but i did get a LOT!! and the once i met at the loona concert was also here and gave me a LOT of pcs!! 😭💕 (ty kelsey ur like the sweetest hfbksdnf)

my view

the views of me

sadly no full fit pics but a lot of people complimented my outfit 🥺💕 next concert i’m hoping to attend is aespa bc they will be here in a few weeks and the nosebleed seats are like so cheap??? i’m going.

also

i’m seeing beyonce?? with my mom? on beyonce’s birthday for my mom’s birthday gift??? btw my hair is gonna be pink next so i can’t WAIT to see what i do for lewks for these shows uwu

[sports-and-fandoms]

Rewatching Stargate SG-1 and-

LOOK AT HIM.

I actually can’t deal with it.

(Excuse the quality, but I just wanted to showcase the stance and the lewk.

Irene Adler was correct. Brainy IS the new sexy. (not new bc brain>>>>brawn is a fact. Some people are blessed and have both *cough* Samantha Carter *cough* AND Jack O’Neill. HE’S SMART, HE JUST DOESNT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW. And Teal’c obvi)

Anyway, i digress… let’s get back to Dr. Daniel Jackson.)

I MEAN…

What a man. A fine, fine, FINNNNNEEEE man.

Cutting his s1 hair (i cried. I mourned.) and making him all muscle-y (as hot as the muscles are) was such a disservice to his character. I feel like he didn’t get to be Dr. Daniel Jackson after a certain point, ya know? Anyway, i love him still.

Alright, im going clowning. Peace out✌️

[sir-klauz]

Ppl forcing opinions, yes, opinions not facts, that animals that have evolved into creatures that have the potential to kill with an anatomy made for it and are carnivorous inside only, and as apparently the only way because they prefer it, then refusing to allow for anyone else to offer cats free will if they ask except only if they receive total imprisonment on a leash (it’s not imprisonment if they enjoy it, opt for it, or have always been that way and it’s safe, I’m all for indoor animal keeping, many cats prefer the indoors) whether they like it or not and claiming that’s the only way or ur horrific, is so strange and harmful. If ur cat that’s only house trained is shunted outside without even training them to be, yes that’s cruel, if they want to go outside and u bar them, yes that’s cruel. If they’ve never known the outdoors, hey yes they probably will die tbh. If u hate cats for killing small animals, yes that’s cruel, don’t get one, it happens. If all ur opinions of cats are “they’re nasty evil and shiddy but I like the hugs tho” wtf? They’re just only serving you then? Your whim? And not their own emotions, they’re not allowed. Declawing and damaging them? Cool story bro, delete me, also altering someone else’s pets body anatomy and scaring them for life and inducing anxiety I had never seen in her before after, animal abuse kthanks. Fkin don’t own a pet from the cat kingdom. I’m seeing ppl genuinely saying it’s abusive to allow for your cat to step evn outside because they have only a warped opinion of owning cats so expensive they’re scared their investment runs away, or bean bag emotion toy, whatever. Step outside without a leash?? Wtf??? Sorry but people taking cats leashes and crying down a high street dragging them around for lewks is abuse! If you’re gonna leash, listen to your cats needs as well and fears, if banning all cats from going outside freely “bc it’ll affect them” is the argument. So many ppl literally do not listen to what their cat wants at all or treats them with respect and basic rights to be what they are and free will if they need it. Also if ur gonna claim cats are evil and succ nature dry um look at the human race which is killing the planet and still does, pretty sure a cat isn’t gonna out win the level of destruction we appear to be doing to everything in sight. We didn’t even evolve to need as much copious amounts of meat that is dragged lorry by lorry and wasted with animals killed pointlessly and also farmed and over farmed needlessly, yet a cat hunting a couple of birds/mice/animals that could poison us, is despicable when u eat a slab of meat for breakfast lunch and dinner. Or if ur not a meat eater, peep the humans still killing a whole ass planet. Literally I swear ppl are just worried about vet bills these days. So many ppl I wanna scream at “don’t own a cat” yet they’re pointing the finger at treating a cat with options, dare I say it. Fml stay inside the rest of ur life then if the world is so dangerous then too I guess. Comparing them to dogs as well who have been fully domesticated to the point where they now usually just die and cannot look after themselves at all if they escape when they once could’ve survived, do not even. Do not. Literally, own a bunny pls. Or a hamster. Animals get severe depression at times in cages and not cared for properly or given proper attention. If you do, then it works, but so many ppl are apathetic to animals feelings often because they think they’re totally stupid and can’t feel anything bc they can’t speak human or something, same with how people treat mute disabled people and younger children as if they’re just “dumb” because they can’t say the words yet and absolutely do know what you’re saying. My cat knows I’m talking about him and comes to see what I’m saying when I don’t even use his name or anything liek??

But anyway ya this literally reminds me of those old rich ppl who go liek “I wanna own a tiger” then get eaten or somethn, like ur the only one who wanna go bdsm leash daddy so bad on a cat um.

Cats aren’t easy no, but you clearly can’t cope with them at all if you aren’t prepared at all for anything but them sitting on a windowsill, and hate everything about them except easy cuddles. Yes it’s dangerous outside but, sorry (why should I be sorry about feeling this) but it’s unfair to want to selfishly take all freedom away from an entire species whether they want and indoor lifestyle or not for whatever reason that urge is burning in you for. And if it’s cos of the vet bill, just, don’t get a pet tbh.

Likewise you must care for your pet and make sure they’re healthy and don’t die where you can, but you can’t let that fear stop you from giving them choices, because yes it’s imprisonment and abuse if they hate it and it’s negatively affecting them. 😪

“Imagine leaving your cat to roam outside all night when they could be indoors in the warm on their own mini couch” yes I hate when people shunt their cat out for the whole night with no interest in if they even want to stay outside. Get a cat flap! Or god forbid, open a window a handful of times to let them in and out when they want. My dood spends like 70% of his times indoors cuddled up or snoozing tbh from choice, and then requests to leave every so often to sit in the garden, and occasionally run around the field! And y’all bet it’s impossible to keep him in he will scream blue murder if I don’t, so clearly that’s what he wants and it’s his choiceeee omg his choiceeee. He will throw things on the floor if I don’t as well like? But yeah I’m mean and cruel for letting him out lmao when he’s desperately requesting it. Fml! Maybe just look after ur cat like ppl saying they gonna go out and die to death on everything they touch are bizarre, you gonna never let ur kid leave the house ever? Bc you’ve trained them up so they can’t survive outside so they can never leave and survive outside your house? That’s been known as abusive parenting for years. It’s why there’s been so much domestication of different species. We gonna keep every animal on earth in a cage completely bc it’s scary out there and watch the ecosystem die etc etc? Big infestations an bug plagues I love that idea bc no one be eating any of them hehe

[charnelhouse]

My beloved Thor partner 👀

Further to our toy thots... What if Thor came back from whatever mission had taken him away this time, to find you using the toy replica of his cock in the middle of the bed? 👀👀

A/N: Thor x F!Reader. DP. Anal stuff. Rough Sex. Over-Stimulation. OMG this is dirty. Help Me Lord from these Golden-Haired Himbos. Tony is in the gif bc he hooked a prince up. Also will we ever know another heaven that was Thor’s party lewk in AOU?

It’s been weeks without him. You’re on edge - swelling ripe with trapped arousal. Your gaze lingers on your nightstand. You could use it - release some of that aggression that’s burning bright beneath your skin.

You drag yourself across your bed - yanking the drawer open and finding that gift Thor had left you with. It’s ridiculous - a customized replica of his cock that vibrates. It also works brilliantly. It’s not Thor, but it’s a taste of him - a shadow. You’d found it endearing when he had handed you a messily wrapped box.

I thought you could use this while I’m gone.

What is this?

My cock.

You’re kidding?

Nope. I had it made for you.

Uh by who?

Stark - of course.

Oh Jesus. You didn’t.

I did. Let’s try it out.

He’d spent hours pinning you to the bed - slipping the silicone cock through your dripping folds - notching it against the peak of your clit and turning the vibration on until you sobbed. He’d grinned - gorgeous and hungry - as he pressed it inside you - watched the channel of your sex engulf it without issue - straight to the hilt.

You stare at the ceiling - holding the toy firmly in your hands - stroking it slightly. Fuck - it even had the ridges. You did not want to ask Tony how he made this. In fact - you could barely look him in the eye until he’d finally told you to get over it - i’m starting a whole line of sex toys because of this.

You turn it on - the dim hum of its vibrating length. The second you press it to your cunt, there’s the sharp swells of pleasure riding out through your veins. You push it lower and arch at the sensation.

It’s not the same. You miss the weight of him on top of you - the pace at which he snaps his hips against your pelvis - how he hooks his forearms beneath your knees and bends you in half. The molten heart of him pounding with each feral grunt - the way he always runs a few degrees higher.

You close your eyes and shove it down against your cunt and there’s the initial bite of a building orgasm as you rock up into the toy and it’s flowing white-hot through you - blossoming until it sharply crashes into the center of your core and you cum.

You keep the back of your hand against your mouth - muffling the tepid whimper that seeps from your throat. It was nice - not earth-shattering - just enough to help you sleep.

“Well - that’s certainly a sight to come home to.” A low voice sounds.

You shriek - eyes flying open as you sit up - scooting back against the headboard until your vision clears.

It’s Thor. His shoulders filling out the open doorway - his hair dark with sweat and his face lined with exhaustion and dried blood. He looks like he’s just left the battlefield. The air in the room zaps with leftover electricity - his hands curl into fists as the muscles in his jaw flex. He seems on edge - still pumped full of adrenaline - still itching for a fight.

“Hi,” you whisper - your heart beginning to relax to something not on the cusp of full-blown panic. “You’re home.”

You begin to crawl off the bed, but he makes a quiet noise of protest. You glance at him.

“Stay there,” he says. “I-I want to...”

He’s tense and you can just imagine how he feels on the inside - the storm of battle still swept up in his lungs - the inability to focus on what’s in front of him - the aftertaste of bloodshed and the fight. He’s a God - built for war and sometimes he needs to fuck afterward - needs to feel something warm and wet and all for him. The tender grasp of your body accepting him - the blush of home in every shade of your skin.

I feel sane when I’m with you - I just feel better. It might sound foolish or mauldin, but it’s true.

“C’mere then.”

You already know that this will be rough. This is going to be doused with Thor’s possessiveness and his baser nature. It’s why you work well with him. You can take it - handle him without suffering injury. His marks on you last twenty-four hours max and sometimes you wish they’d stay longer.

And Thor is also kind and sweet and if you were to ask him to stop or to ease off - he would in a second. He steps toward you - his cape drifting over the hardwood - ox-blood red. He scrapes his hand across his beard - rubbing at his face to clear the gloss of the chaos he’s just left.

He’s here. He’s with you. He’s in your bedroom - your bed. Far away. Safe.

When he reaches the edge of the mattress, he grips your ankle and yanks you down the sheets and closer to him. You yelp - slightly surprised.

“I flew here,” he mumbles - palming your cheek - thumb dipping into your bottom lip. “I wanted to be with you - couldn’t be away another second.”

“Aw,” you smile. “I missed you, too.”

His lips quirk - the brief flash of smug - as his eyes fall between your legs. Your thighs are spread open and he has a full view of your soaked cunt. The puffy folds and swollen nub and everything flushed with post-orgasm. “I can see that,” he teases.

You lift your bare foot and toe at his armor - prodding him lightly. He grips it - lowering his face to brush a kiss across the top - the side - the thin skin of your ankle. His beard tickles - his breath warm.

“What do you want?” you finally ask. “Do you want to use me? Do you need to use me?”

His expression darkens - morphing into something hungry and almost primal. His nostrils flaring to emphasize the crude fact that he can smell you.

“Yes,” he grits as his hands on you tighten. “Your little cunt is just begging for my attention.”

***

You think he must be jealous of the damn toy that he had made for you .He’s got you on all fours - his tongue hot and wet as he drags it through the seam of your sex.

He’s decided to fuck the dildo into your ass - lubing it up and pushing it slowly inside you inch by careful inch. It’s a damn stretch and it’s nearly impossible to focus on one thing. He’s got his tongue dipping into your cunt while he gently screws your ass with a toy that’s as thick as him.

After he’d kissed you urgently - he’d snatched the toy - pressing it firmly against your clit - vibration cranked on until you shook and squirmed against him. “I was thinking,” he rasped - teeth nibbling the vein in your throat. “I was thinking I’d like to open you up, sweet one.”

“Huh?” you mumbled - arching into him - fingers curled into the fabric of his cape.

“I want to see how much you can take,” he clarified as his touch began to slide down the cleft of your ass - pushing against that tighter hole.

“Sure,” you answered - too fucking drunk on him and the smell of his armor and dirty hair. “I’m game.”

Now - you’re not sure if you’ll survive.

“Fuck,” you wail into the bedding - your cheek shoved into linen as you let Thor torture you. You’re ass up - just submissive and wide open - and do whatever you want fuck fuck fuck please just - just touch me - make me cum - i love you i love you i love you -

He makes soothing, mouth sounds as he squeezes the flesh of your ass. He thrusts the toy in gingerly - just the head - before he eases it out just so he can watch your hole blink and part for him.

Dirty Fucking God.

If there’s one thing Thor gets off on, it’s observing the effect he has on you. He likes to fuck you fast and brutal - pinning you to the mattress as his hips piston between your legs and just as you’re about to cum, he tears himself off. He gets right down on his knees - mindlessly fisting his slick-shiny cock so he can stare at the way your cunt contracts on nothing - needy and desperate for him and then he starts again.

“Good girl,” he praises as you whine pitifully. You feel the blunt pressure of the toy returning - feel it slide inside another two inches before he continues to the pattern. Three inches in. Three inches out.

He groans and then you feel the balmy slide of his tongue along your inner thighs - catching the arousal that has begun to drip. He palms your ass - digging his fingers into the flesh before he smacks one cheek and then the other. You can feel how stretched you are around the silicone length while your pussy just waits - gaping and spasming on nothing.

He stands, his cock bobbing against your lower back. He keeps the toy in place as he grasps his shaft and grinds it through the mess of your sex. He slips it idly through your folds - sometimes taunting you by popping the head of it inside your entrance before drawing back.

“Thor,” you hiss.

“Hmmm?”

“If you don’t fuck me right now, I”m going to -”

He grabs your hips - forcing you forward before he sheathes himself to the hilt. You gasp - the words torn from your throat. “What were you saying, my love?”

You claw at the sheets as you try to get used to being so fucking filled up. The fake cock inside your ass sits there like a weight while Thor slowly thrusts in lazy strokes. He’s barely pulling out - almost thoughtlessly seesawing his hips as he screws you slow and careful like the drip of syrup.

Just as he eases himself out - head catching on the rim of your hole - he tugs at the vibrator. Oh - oh fuck - you know what he’s going to do and he does - he plunges his own cock forward just as he pushes the toy all the way back into your ass

It becomes a perfect rhythm - Thor knows exactly how to play you. He fucks your pussy at an angle - tilting his pelvis down so that he punches up against that patch of star-bursts nerves. He matches every stroke of his cock with a tender pump of the toy and it’s overkill - utterly insane sensation that is rippling through your gut and making your thighs quiver as high-pitched noises spill out of your mouth.

Thor is barely speaking - just a swell of grunts and growls and sometimes an occasional snarl. It’s fucking sexy - to feel like he’s possessing you in almost every way. You trust him enough to be careful - to hang you over the edge of a cliff - pushing your limit - but ready to yank you back should it go poorly. One orgasm takes you by surprise - snapping through your core as your lower muscles bear down on his spearing length.

“Fuck,” he husks. “Fuck - feel my cock, sweet one? You feel how hard it is for you. I’ve never fucked anyone like this before - never - never had anyone like this.”

He sighs raggedly while his pace breaks - stutters and wrinkles as he nearly collapses against you. You feel the warm bloom of his spend deep in your cunt and you think thank fuck i need to breathe, but it’s not over - not at all. He just keeps thrusting - keeps grinding into you.

You’re still sky-high - still shuddering with your climax when he removes the toy from your ass and then pins it right up against the crest of your cunt. He turns it on and it immediately sends sparks into you’re already swollen sex - the damp dripping flesh overworked and you lurch forward far enough that Thor has to wrap his muscular arm around your tits - banding you against his broad chest as he cradles you through the explosive and blinding slap of your second orgasm. It’s a lot: your fluttering walls around his punishing, half-hard cock as his hips continue to snap up against your ass - your overstimulated clit - both holes aching from being split open as you practically gush over the planes of his thick thighs and ruined sheets.

You lose it.

You scream - entire body quaking with aftershocks and both of you fall forward onto the bed. “Shh,” Thor hushes. “Shh - you did so fucking well for me.” He strokes your skin - petting your shoulders - your arms. The warm press of his fingertips against your cheek and jaw. He looms over you - nosing at your throat - hand on your chin as his thumb rubs over your bottom lip. He kisses you tenderly - his tongue dipping against your own. “Breathe,” he urges. “Breathe.”

The room loses that overbearing weight - that musk of frantic need that threatened to strip him apart. You curl into him - still dumb with pleasure. You try to focus on the ceiling - focus on the exposed pipes or the flecks of chipped paint or anything that will stop the world from spinning. You go soft as he nuzzles your hair. He cradles you to him - keeps your ear close to the drum of his heart.

[sweetheartyoongi]

Super Junior Scenario: Shirts

Leeteuk: supreme MC has been signed on for another variety show, and you get to tag along to the first episode taping. You’re both in his dressing room when wardrobe comes in to try and figure out what Lewk™️ would be best. He tries on outfit after outfit, mixing and matching all sorts of tops, bottoms, and accessories. It’s fun to watch...for a while, but fashion shows are only enjoyable for so long. When he and his dressers are preoccupied, you sneak over to the reject rack and play dress up on your own. You’re enjoying yourself so much you don’t notice your boyfriend has returned and can’t take his eyes off of you. You finally notice his stare in the mirror as you’re in a large printed dress shirt. Before you can defend your actions, he moves closer, wrapping his arms around you and placing a kiss on your temple.

“I love when you wear the things I wear,” he whispers in your ear.

Heechul: “Come on, we’re going to be late!” You exclaim.

“No,” your boyfriend retorts from the closet, “I don’t look beautiful yet!” You roll your eyes. You were just going to meet some of his friends for a casual dinner, you have no idea why he has to look any special way. Heck, you’re wearing one of his hoodies, that’s how nonchalant this outing is.

“You look beautiful in anything, honey, so just pick something please.” After a few more minutes that felt more like an eternity he walks into the living room, finally dressed. You’re so excited to go you almost didn’t notice what he was wearing - an oversized hot pink shirt that’s extremely familiar because it’s yours. Sharing clothes was common in your relationship, but it had never really gone both ways before now.

“Is that my top?” You ask.

He points to your outfit, “Is that my top?”

“I think it’s cute on me.”

“And I think this is beautiful on me. Now let’s go, you’re making us late.”

Yesung: it’s your seventh date (not that he’s counting or anything), and the first one taking place at his home. You’re cooking together, and he’s insanely nervous, so you turn on some music and start dancing around to try and calm his nerves. However, he’s not always the most coordinated dancer...and before he can stop it, he’s bumped into you while you’re holding a pot of sauce. Obviously the sauce gets on your top, and Yesung’s not sure what’s redder - the stain or his cheeks. He can’t think of what to say, so he just reacts instead, and runs to his room, returning with the first shirt he could find. You nod in thanks, and leave to change. Yesung is head in hands mortified, and it breaks your heart to see when you come back.

You pull him into a hug, and hope to cheer him up by asking, “Was this just a ploy to get me in your clothes?”

He eyes you in his shirt before mumbling “No but I’m not mad about it.” You laugh at his cheeky reply, which in turn makes him smile.

Shindong: as we know, he has a history of people borrowing his shirts, and it’s not a terribly positive one. Moving forward, he vowed to let people know when he didn’t want them doing it anymore. And he’s fully ready to now, in his hotel room during tour, when he sees that one of his favorite shirts is missing. He’s about to storm into Donghae’s room (number one repeat offender) and demand it back, when you walk out from the shower wearing the clothing in question. The way it hangs off of your body, your wet hair dripping onto the shoulders, leaves Shindong speechless.

“Something wrong?” you ask. He chuckles softly and shakes his head.

“No, you just look really cute.” He still won’t tolerate his shirts being taken, but for you, maybe he could make an exception.

Eunhyuk: “We’re just going to have to go through it, you know.”

Unfortunately your boyfriend’s right. Walking to the restaurant seemed like a good idea at first, but now that it’s pouring rain and you have no umbrella or coat, you have regrets. The fact that you’re in a fitted white top isn’t ideal either. But you just sigh, grasp your boyfriend’s, and brave the storm. To say you both are absolutely drenched once returning to his place is an understatement. It’s also an understatement to say seeing you in your wet white shirt doesn’t completely thrill Eunhyuk. He’s about to take you in his arms but you quickly run to his room to dry off and change. You come back out, now in one of his comfy hoodies, and are instantly pulled into his embrace.

“Only you would find something sexier than a wet shirt,” he says before capturing your lips with his own.

Siwon: he’s such a traditional guy, and the trope of his s.o. wearing his shirts turns him on makes his day. You know this, of course, and use it to your advantage. After a late night dance practice, when he’s totally sore and spent, he comes home to see you tried and failed to wait up for him on the couch. He finds your snoozing form endearing, but gently shakes you awake to get you into bed. When you open your eyes and see his handsome face you smile and sit up. In doing so, your blanket falls to the floor and reveals that you’re in nothing but one of his white tshirts. The sight stirs something in Siwon, and all the aches and sores are forgotten as he throws you over his shoulder towards the bedroom.

He tosses you onto the bed, mumbling a “love seeing you baby, especially like this,” while kissing your neck. You smile a devious smile. Works every time.

Donghae: “Oh come on, I just washed this one,” you sigh at your nine month old son, who had just let out a baby barf while you held him against your chest. You’re still amazed at the vile things that can come out of such a cute baby. “Okay,” You say, quickly strapping your son into his nearby bouncer, “Mommy’s going to be right back, after I burn this shirt.” Your son giggles as you quickly leave.

And of course, in that split second is when Donghae comes home. “Hey there buddy,” he coos, crouching down to kiss his son’s head, “what are you doing here all by yourself? Where’s your mom?”

“Finding something else to wear after your son so kindly puked all over my shirt.” You say as you come back into the living room, now wearing one of your husband’s many Tempus sweatshirts. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Donghae, who stands back up and tugs at his sweatshirt until you’re securely in his arms.

“You know, I think our son is lonely and wants a sibling. Maybe we should go make him one.” You playfully smack his shoulder, earning a happy babble from your son. “See? He agrees, majority rules, let’s go make another.”

Ryeowook: no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to hold your alcohol the way your boyfriend can, based on his composed nature and your inability to walk in one direction. You stagger into his flat, loudly recounting all the fun you had that night. “That was so fun,” you slur, unaware that your boyfriend was moving from room to room, “but it’d be way more fun if you were as shitfaced as I am.”

Ryeowook chuckles while tossing clothing at you, “I’m sure it would be. But now it’s time for bed, so get dressed.”

“Asking me to strip for you? Kinky, Wookie.” He smiles while ignoring your drabble and heads to the bedroom, getting ready for bed himself. He’s already laying down scrolling through his phone by the time you finally walk in. His breath hitches in his throat at the sight of you in his Super Show 6 tshirt.

“Planning on taking advantage of me?” You ask cheekily, incredibly aware of his lingering stare.

“If taking advantage means holding you until you inevitably need to puke, than you better believe it.” You smile and jump onto the bed.

Kyuhyun: he is obsessed with seeing you in his clothes, to the point where he will literally steal hide your clothes so you have no choice but to wear his (bc Evil Maknae is Evil). Today really isn’t the day, though, because your parents are going to stop by and the cute outfit you had planned on wearing is nowhere to be found.

“Kyuuuuuu,” you groan from your bedroom, “I’m serious, where’s my dress? I’m not answering the door in nothing but your ratty old shirt.”

From the kitchen, Kyuhyun smirks and calls back, “Keep calling my stuff ratty and see if you ever get your dress back again.” You sigh in frustration, trudging into the kitchen and resting your head against your boyfriend’s back in defeat.

“Babe, please, I’m begging you. This is my parents’ first time seeing our new place. I can’t look like I was freshly fucked.”

“But you were just-”

“Keep hiding my dress from me and see if I’ll ever be freshly fucked again.” You stare each other down, seeing who will crack first. Finally, he gives in.

“Pantry, top shelf.” You smirk, planting an obnoxiously loud kiss on his lips.

[sinagrace]

Iceman’s been back on my mind lately. It started with the internet rumor that Shia Labeouf was being considered to play the role of Bobby Drake in a Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the X-Men. My DMs and @Mentions on social media were a mixture of intense reaction and then asking my take on who would make a great Bobby Drake (for the record: in my head I always saw him as a younger Antoni Porowski with a theater background, ‘cuz playing the funny guy with a vulnerable streak requires serious acting shops). My mind went back to the time of BC, when I was doing a lot of touring, and answering this very question because of my work on the Iceman book at Marvel. One thing led to another, and I decided to take a trip further down memory lane to look at my favorite volume of the series: Amazing Friends. Now, I know I’ve spent equal amounts of time publicly stating what a gift working on Iceman was, while also calling out the challenges that came with the experience, but the third volume really was a pure blessing. I was able to take every valuable lesson I learned as a writer, and apply it to telling a story that would be interesting to one person: Me. I’ve been a lifelong X-Men fan, I live and breathe comics, so my own expectations for a return to the series seemed like the only ones to really worry about meeting/ surpassing. The first two volumes had been so bogged down by rotating editors, complex continuity, company-wide events, multiple artists… The third volume was my chance to focus on what an Iceman series was outside of so much context. All that mattered was challenging myself to do an X-Men story that focused on the aspects of the franchise I felt were valuable and relevant, meaning: excuses to have Emma Frost be an asshole and finding an opportunity to make fun of Kitty Pryde’s haircut. Before moving on from Marvel, Axel Alonso made time to call me for a pep talk about the series. I wanted to get the series extended, and he wanted to help me succeed with the ten issues he could commit to. First, he offered an eleventh issue to give me more time on the stands. He took a look at everything I had planned, and basically told me to restructure with an eye for ramping up the pace. My writing background comes from prose and essays/ think pieces… both of which are methodical and provide some allowance from the reader to really take your time and set up the world before diving into the meat. That’s not the case with comics. You gotta work fast. Especially in today’s market, there is less and less room for a retailer to say, “give it two volumes, because shit starts really coming together by the third trade.” That was literally my speech for hooking people on such iconic series as Invincible, Fables, and Strangers in Paradise. Nowadays, every single issue is not a brick to be laid down as foundation so much as a bullet in your gun. Conflicting imagery, but that’s the point. Axel told me to think about the Big Moments in my life and sort out how to inject the mutant metaphor into it and make the most compelling comic book story I could. This was epic advice that I took with me into the new arc, but I struggled a bit with what could be bigger than the “coming out” storyline in volume one. Love was off the table because I wanted to keep Bobby single and ready to mingle. Death was off the table too, because my editor felt like we’d done enough with Bobby’s parents in the first two volumes. Upon looking at my own life, and considering the stuff me and my friends were dealing with, I landed on something a bit more reflective than LIFE or DEATH. I wanted to focus on that moment when a gay guy looks outside of himself and realizes the folks around him may not have it so easy. After everything we’ve been dealing with this summer, Iceman’s “big issue” of the arc feels oddly prescient. Bobby Drake had to reconcile his accidental complicit role in keeping the Morlocks down, and he has to investigate new approaches to being a better ally to those who don’t want to or can’t live under the protection of the X-Men. I used the Morlocks to allegorically speak to the issues that the trans/ NB community face today. Considering that trans folks are facing higher rates of homelessness and murder than other members of the LGBTQIA+ community, all I needed to do was find a perfect villain to treat the Morlocks as “lesser-than.” Cue Mister Sinister, who I wrote as particularly Darwinist with a major flair for interactive theater. While Amazing Friends definitely is the most fun I’ve had working on the book, it was also full of the heaviest shit I’ve written about. I’m so grateful that my editor let me use Emma Frost for a story about the trauma of gay conversion therapy with her brother Christian, but I’m still annoyed he wouldn’t let me put her in a sickening Givenchy outfit for her reveal. Similarly, creating the Madin character required that I chat with several mental healthcare professionals and members of the NB community to respectfully portray them as a resilient and fleshed out hero. I included personal lessons that I learned from years of the therapy (the sandcastle / sea image, a Jay Edidin fave moment). My editor and I weren’t always aligned, but we definitely were on each other’s side. He understood what I was trying to do and asked questions when something flew over his head, and he even had the good instincts to stop me from going too heavy handed with the ending. My original idea for the arc’s finale was to have Bobby become permanently scarred in his fight with Sinister, where he’d have a cool ice gash running across his face or something, a la Squall from Final Fantasy 8. The goal was to show Iceman stripping himself of his ability to pass as non-mutant to save the Morlocks, but the Mutant Pride fight scene being a stand-in for the Stonewall Riots kind of already made enough of a statement. Plus, no one in editorial wanted to deal with remembering to track his scar in other books. At first I tried to balk at his point of view, but when I looked over my original notes for the series, the point was to focus on optimism and hope. Giving Bobby a permanent scar and emphasizing the notion of sacrifice was too bleak a message for a series wherein the hero carbo-loads hoagies while riding an ice scooter and mutant drag queens emcee local festivals. Of course, the crowning achievement of the series… my mutant drag queen :) I’ve witnessed a lot when it comes to the world of pop culture and myth-making, and I 100% believe that you can’t plan the success of something. I’ve seen bands forced into breaking up because labels spend six figures failing at making listeners connect with an album. I witnessed firsthand how The Walking Dead was built from relatively humble beginnings as a buzzy cable drama into a literal international phenomenon over the course of its first three seasons. Everyone hopes for the best, but you never know how something will land with audiences. When the Shade character took off, I was truly astounded. Things I posted on Instagram while half-asleep became official quotes on major news sites. Queens and cosplayers were interpreting her like Margot Robbie had unveiled a new Harley Quinn lewk. The impact was so legit and immediate that we had to jump in and give Shade a proper Marvel hero alias, to truly welcome her into the X-Men canon. Hence the name change to Darkveil. (Funny story: I tried to fight hard for Madame X as an alias, but CB didn’t want another Agent X / “X-Name” character. Three months later, Madonna announced the Madame X album. Phew!) There was a time where I felt uncertain that the folks in charge at Marvel would bring Darkveil into any stories outside of the ones I wrote. My understanding was that Hickman was like the Cylons and had A Plan-- one that didn’t include her character. I made peace with my contribution to the Marvel Universe being contained, but then someone on social media pointed out that Darkveil showed up in an issue of Marvel Voices. After breaking down and reading Hickman’s House of X, I saw that his Plan was one of endless possibilities, and that he was moving EVERY character into new and dynamic places. I have hope now that he sees the possibilities with Darkveil, and takes advantage of her and all of her many body pouches. Amazing Friends really is my favorite thing I’ve done for the Big Two. I made a lifelong friend out of artist Nate Stockman (DC, please hire us for a Plasticman book), and I got to run a victory lap with the most encouraging and supportive readers out there. It was worth every dreadful conversation, every shitty thing a person said to me online, and all of the fun nonsense that goes into being creative for a living. Being stuck at home in quarantine has given me a lot of time to reflect on the gift that my career to date has been, and I feel so grateful to be where I am today. Other people may groan when they have to talk about something they’ve moved on from, but not me. I made people happier, I got to work with my favorite characters at Marvel, and and I'll say it again: it’s a frickin’ gift to make people move from your work. So, I will engage every tweet or message asking me my thoughts about who should play Bobby Drake in the Marvel Cinematic Universe… I’ll just never have a good answer.

[colesterstrudel]

So here are my endless thoughts on SVU & OC, all under the cut bc I get rambly and incoherent lmaooooo so here goes the format is shit bc I’m on mobile but are we surprised lmao

SVU

It is a crime that we never got to see the dress Liv was wearing to her ceremony A CRIME I know it was a lewk I KNOW IT WAS

The Liv/Elliot stare down dkdkdkkdkddk pls they’re just looking at each other like they’re trying to make sure they’re both really there

The flashback to the episode where pregnant Kathy is in a car accident with Liv was a crime against me, specifically, bc how dare you make me deal with those emotions while Liv is also dealing with them with that 100 yard stare WHY

Fin’s “you’re gonna have to ask him” to Liv in the hospital 🤝 his “you’ll have to ask her that” to Elliot in the bar or whatever

The whispered convo in the corner of Liv’s office hello intimacy lmao personal space whomst Liv and Elliot don’t know her and they never have AND THEN when Elliot says “let’s work it” like they’re still partners, LIKE THEY’RE PARTNERS FOR LIFE, IF YOU WILL

Liv spent so much of their partnership pushing him to be with his family and she STILL has to do it even ten years later after he’s broken her heart she loves him so much she loves his kids she wants nothing but the best for him so she keeps pushing him to go back to his family, to visit Kathy in the hospital, but noooooooooooo hardheaded Elliot Stabler just can’t do it

“I give you my word I’ll behave” so u just gon lie like that to her FACE when you haven’t seen her IN TEN YEARS DKSKDKSKSKSKSK LYING IS GONNA BE ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU DO and also when he started rolling up his sleeves??? BRAIN ROT IMMEDIATELY BRAIN EMPTY

LIV HOLDING ELLIOT BACK, HIM ALL IN HER PERSONAL SPACE, THE RAISED VOICE FOLLOWED BY THE WHISPER, THE LINGERING EYE CONTACT DKDKDKDKDKDK IF Y’ALL DON’T FUCKIN SMOOCH IN THIS BITCH

Actually okay the whole interrogation room scene bc seeing them in interrogation with each other is painful enough, but the looks Liv keeps giving him while he’s talking to the suspect dkdkkddkdkdk the last time she was in an interrogation room when she could still feel Elliot’s presence around her was when she was crying after he put in his papers YES I AM CRYING THANK U and then the suspect says “why aren’t you in the hospital with your wife” and it’s practically the same thing Liv told him but he can hear that kind of stuff from her and be okay but when anyone else is questioning his loyalty to his family it sets him off (not that she was questioning his loyalty but you get what I’m saying) and UGH the way Liv keeps an eye on him as he moves around the room to make sure he doesn’t fuckin lose it

She bumped into him on the roof ON PURPOSE she didn’t have to be that close to him there’s plenty of room on the roof for the two of them but it’s like she’s questioning if he’s really there and then you have to wonder how many conversations has she had with him mentally or in her dreams that she has to fuckin shoulder check him on the roof to ensure he’s really there, that she’s really talking to HIM

Elliot’s Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head as he caresses the head of his dying wife while he has so much he wants and needs to say to Liv.......am I overthinking this I thinketh not

KATHY NOT BELIEVING ELLIOT TELLING HER HE HASN’T SPOKEN TO LIV IN TEN YEARS AND LIV HAVING TO CONFIRM THAT IT’S TRUE I’M DKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKDKS LIV WAS THE GLUE HOLDING THAT GODDAMN FAMILY TOGETHER AND SHE COULDN’T EVEN RECEIVE THE LOVE SHE SO DESPERATELY WANTED???? NEEDED??????? FROM ELLIOT BC OF IT I’M DJDJDJSSKSKSKSK

Liv watching Elliot kiss Kathy’s forehead through the glass door of that hospital room, like she’s been forced to look in on that marriage from the outside for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The symbolism!!!!!!!!!!!

The waiting room hospital scene yes this will be burned into my brain forever thank u. Neither of them can sit still when they’re around each other now it’s like it’s too much all at once especially Liv she keeps moving and fidgeting and when they ARE still they’re so CLOSE to each other like they can’t bear for there to be any distance, not anymore, not now

They tell each other they love each other without saying the words and it kills me every single time I can’t live like this I wish they were better at talking about their feelings

ANOTHER WHISPERED/BREATHY “ELLIOT” with that side eye YES LIV LET HIM KNOW HE FUCKED UP dkskdkdkdkdk and then she told him she LOVED HIM “you were the single most important person in my life and you just.....disappeared” god this really tears my heart out every time I think about it bc the look in her eyes just 😭😭😭

“I was afraid if I heard your voice I wouldn’t have been able to leave” GOD DID Y’ALL KNOW IT ONLY TAKES THREE WORDS EACH TO SAY I LOVE YOU DID YOU KNOW THAT DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD CONSERVE OXYGEN AND SAY ONLY THREE WORDS OBVIOUSLY NOT

Liv having to stand up for Elliot once again and defend him to people who don’t see him the way she does, the way he deserves to be seen, she’s had to do it for years when they were partners and now she’s doing it again when he’s only been back like a day and a half

I’ve already talked about the bar scene with Elliot and Fin a bajillion times but!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s just such a good fuckin scene and the emotions and the mannerisms from Elliot are just *chef’s kiss* that man loves Liv so much and he’s so upset he’s missed so much of Liv’s life ugh just thinking about his “who’s the guy?” and how he must be thinking back to “you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a man” and how that may still be true but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved on and found someone else to take his place in her heart, in her life, to give her the child she always wanted WHEW

LIV DKDKDKDKDK “Phoebe just said I love you and you couldn’t say it back?” MA’AM YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL THE MAN YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM PLS STOP JUDGING FIN DKDKDKDKDDKDK

Liv calling Elliot “Stabler” why does that shit hurt my heart so bad dkdkdkdkdkdks CALL HIM EL AGAIN PLS

Amanda likening her relationship with Liv to Liv’s relationship with Kathy? No ma’am. No. Somebody get the spray bottle tell her to shut the fuck up

Elliot called Liv before he called any of his kids about Kathy HE CALLED HER FIRST no I’m fine this is fine that’s just something you’d do like if you loved someone or something lmao def nothing suspicious here

I will never stop talking about that hug okay bc Elliot IS SOBBING and he nuzzles into Liv’s shoulder and she wants to keep her walls up and remain distant but her eyes close and she settles into it too god it’s such a GOOD hug you can FEEL the emotions

“I didn’t get to say goodbye” hello parallels between Elliot and his wife and Liv, the love of his life again this is fine I’m fine

Liv putting his family first and offering to call his kids for him fkdkdkdkdkks god will she ever put herself first with ANYONE or will she always put herself on the back burner can we PLEASE GET LIV SOME LASTING HAPPINESS IN THIS BITCH

Even tho Elliot said he didn’t need her to call his kids it absolutely looks like she DID get his kids and take them to him in the chapel like that’s how it comes across and idk if they did that on purpose or what but that’s what it looks like idk man it just really kills me bc she just keeps putting his family first and keep them together SHE IS THE GLUEEEEEEEEEE IN THAT FAMILY

“I can be objective” not with Elliot miss ma’am and you know that like it’s cute that you think that but 👀👀👀 we all know JUST LIKE WE ALL KNOW that technically you’re off the case but you won’t be off the case you’ll keep looking into things when you can bc that’s your partner, your Elliot, and you can’t not keep looking into it

OC

When Elliot goes downstairs at the courthouse and he starts speaking Italian to those dudes he arrested or whatever and then he starts threatening them and he does the throat slash motion as he gets taken away dkskskskskks BRAIN WORMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is that so HOT!!!!!!! @ myself get it together

I’ve already talked about the snow scene in the park but I am not done I will never be done bc the tension!!!!!!!!!!!! Liv won’t hold eye contact for too long and neither will he and I am DYING the small talk is so awkward and then he says “you woulda loved it” about his place in Rome meaning he was THINKING ABOUT HER WHILE HE WAS AWAY

“Elliot, I can’t” OH MY GOD DKDKDKDK and the way she looks at the letter in his hands dkdkdksksks awh hell

Liv was wearing gloves and Elliot was bare handed as they walked around the city in SVU, when she was showing him the pic of the suspect on her phone and here she is again, wearing gloves while Elliot’s hands are bare but this time she brushes her fingers over his ever so slightly while taking the letter from him. The touch is on purpose, has to be, but it’s like the rooftop scene where she bumps into him to make sure it’s really him. Not to mention the gloves vs bare hands thing - she’s erected walls up around her heart and her life and she has all these boundaries she won’t let Elliot cross, not now, maybe not ever she tells herself, and as long as she can separate even the smallest amount of her bare flesh from his she just might be able to make it through him being back in town

ELLIOT WANTED HER TO INTRODUCE HIM TO NOAH YOU CAN SEE IT god he must’ve been so torn up about it bc that’s her kid!!!!!! He’s a part of her!!!!!!!!! He wants to know everything he missed and she won’t even introduce him to her child!!!!!!!!

Angela Wheatley I’m free on Thursday if you’d like to hang out on Thursday when I am free

Liv doesn’t take her eyes off Elliot at the funeral not once NOT ONCE I know I’ve said this before but she’s really the glue that holds that goddamn family together and I am DYING

She holds it together for all the kids and Elliot but the second she walks away her face just fuckin CRUMPLES she can’t hold it together anymore especially after the way Elliot grabbed her whole ass arm to thank her for going I’m dkdkskdkdkdkd this is too much this is too much

THEY DELETED THE FUCKIN SCENE WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY IN ELLIOT’S APARTMENT??????? WHY???????? I WANTED TO OVERANALYZE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I know Richard Wheatley is the bad guy but I luv him what a MAN. He really said “fuck you you racist piece of shit” and killed his own dad fkdkdkdkdkdksk okay WORK RICHARD

SERGEANT BELL I AM AVAILABLE ON THURSDAY LEMME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT ON THURSDAY WHEN YOU ARE FREE

Bell not taking any sorta shit from Elliot I LUV IT I LUV HER GET HIS ASS DKDKDKDKSKSKS he NEEDS people to keep his ass in line bc he doesn’t know how to act not even a lil bit

LIV READ THE LETTER!!!!!! She’s the least stand-offish she’s been to him this whole time WHAT WAS IN THAT LETTER I HAVE TO KNOW

* She knows him too well she knows he’s hiding something from her she knows he’s got something going on but he’s never been good at separating his work from his real life and that hasn’t changed, not now, not even with her and she KNOWS something’s off the way she looks at him while he’s waiting for the elevator is unreal and the lil half nod he gives her bc he KNOWS he needs to talk to her about that letter, especially when she’s WILLING TO TALK NOW but the job!!!!!! “You and the job are about the only thing I’ve got anymore” and he doesn’t even have her, not like he used to, not like he wants to, so he defaults to the job and trying to figure out who killed Kathy and who has it out for him

Okay I obvs didn’t have as much to yell about in OC as I did SVU but I’m so excited to see how OC goes bc it’s got me intrigued already like I need to know. Everything. About the Wheatleys!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And I need to see Liv and Elliot interact again pls pls I need it 😭😭😭😭😭 ANYWAYS THE END BYE

[saint-patrice]

Can you do the picture thing with pasta?

i can indeed my friend! 😎 i love our czech noodle boy with all my heart, so let’s get this show on the road:

see here for other posts like this one! i am also taking requests for ‘em :)

i’m putting this photo first because i found it to be personally and deeply transformative. i have always adored pastrnak, but was on the fence for a while as to whether i also found him physically attractive. this picture give me an aggressive shove off of said fence, and i then proceeded to land in a pile of my own feelings for this man. not that he even needs it in the first place, but that shirt is doing miraculous things

🎶 walk, walk fashion baby, work it move that bitch crazy🎶 despite his teammates’ best efforts to take the piss out of him for it, pasta really is our resident fashion icon, and i love that. this suit is stunning, and i’m usually iffy about suits w sneakers, but it actually looks rather lovely on this occasion. i now feel inspired to go find a pair of renaissance-looking floral trousers of my very own

joyous!! a beautiful ray of sunshine!!!! we are so lucky to have him, i really really love the energy and ~vibe~ he seems to bring to the team. my sample size of one (me) perhaps makes my findings unreliable, but i do believe that it is scientfically impossible to not smile when looking at pasta smiling

i go completely apeshit every time i see pastrnak’s tattoo - it’s absolutely gorgeous. if i remember correctly (please holler at me if i’m wrong), a lot of it is in memory of his father too, which is really nice. pasta is an amazing player in his own right, but when you hear about his childhood and what he had to work through, i think it makes you appreciate what he’s managed to achieve - especially at such a young age - all that much more. we’re proud of you pasta!!

noodle man says gay rights. fuck yeah!

is there a shortage of snacks in the nhl?? why does everyone feel the need to munch on their equipment??? i’m so confused. whatever the case, this is hella cute, and makes me smile like an utter fool 

oh no, there he goes :(

sometimes i’m having a bad day and then i remember this picture exists and you know what? smiles is better. pasta would make a good life coach. it will not solve your problems, but sometimes just putting on a smile can make them seem a bit easier. anon i’m so sorry, you probably just wanted a lighthearted photo post but here we are, getting very philosophical. blame pasta. tl;dr, smiles is better and david pastrnak is amazing

what locker room shenanigans are these boys getting up to? and do i even want to know? this post was a blessing from the bruins instagram tbh. also uhhh boy’s got some fuckin legs jesus h christ 👀 watch where you’re putting those things

oh my god!!!! who let him look this good holy shit. i think navy might be pasta’s colour, and i can totally get on board with the navy/coral combo too. absolute style king, through and through

this is, i think, my absolute favourite pasta lewk. it’s fairly simple, but i love the colour scheme (see my above point), and the matching waistcoat + jacket really make it. i am also smitten with those shoes for some reason. plus i think the headband is literally just so good???? like hell yes, i am very much here for all of pasta’s hair accessorising 

something in me feels like pasta frequently gets in mild trouble with the bruins pr team because he is just slightly chaotic. case and point: mr pastrnak just distributing gatorade thingys to the audience at the all star skills event lmaoooo i love him

the grey shirt is back - be still my beating heart. oh lord. he looks so fucking good. i cannot stop looking at this

okay so pasta literally scores the dirtiest, sexiest goals i’ve ever seen. do yourself a favour and look up some compilations on youtube. thank me later, because every single one of them is fucking delightful, with the occasional one honestly getting me a bit hot and bothered 

i wouldn’t put it past him to just walk into td garden on a tuesday in april with this getup 

this is a strong candidate for my favourite social media interaction ever. “hey spaghetti man” is such a strong opener and i think it gave me whiplash, but nothing can be as iconic as “it calls style in europe”. sometimes that’s my response when my friend gives me a look for wearing an outlandish shirt or loud pants - they have no idea what i’m actually referencing, and also we live in europe, so they usually just try to ignore it. this is also a good photo in general, pasta looks v cute. i can only assume those jorts (let’s call them as they are, folks) were intact when he bought them but his legs, as we can see, are so powerful that they broke free 🤷🏻‍♀️

i mean this is like,, very sexy of him to look like that and that’s all i think i can safely say about this gif, at least on this new pg website tumblr has tried to create…

i reblogged this with the tag #oh…….worm? and i stand by that. like, sir?? hello??? do you have any idea what you’re doing to me???? i just cannot catch a break from this man’s sheer beauty 

(gif via @gaudreau) oh my god i actually love him - he really is our little ray of sunshine 💖 i don’t even know what tf he’s doing but he’s so cute so it does not matter. this also reminds me of that one clip of him doing the macarena in front of a green screen while wearing his skates for some media thing

this is like the only goddamn gif i could find of it but pasta passing the empty net goal to bergy during his 1000th game is one of the sweetest things i’ve ever seen anyone do on the ice???? it was just a little gesture but i think it’s a testament to the team dynamic, as well at the type of person pasta is (ie lovely). sometimes i tear up thinking about this game if truth be told (yes i’m a baby leave me alone)

i know i said i liked the blue suit the Most but this is a close second,, that is such a crisp fit he looks so mf good mmmmmmmm . also what a lovable buffoon 

handsome man alert !!!! this is not a very good picture to demonstrate the fact, but pasta has really nice eyes like i’m legitimately jealous >:(

(gif via @formulaice7) a better man would have been able to pick just one of these to include, but better men are off doing something far more productive than this, so you are stuck with me, who is chronically indecisive. but i saw these gifs and my only reaction was “oh fuck” and i do believe that is appropriate. maybe it’s just my weird opinion, but one thing sexier than shirtless? almost shirtless. (but i mean there’s plenty of fully shirtless pasta out there if u want it) the hand hanging on that hook is also kinda getting to me. he is just very beautiful

sometimes i wonder why the majority of the nhl has no personality and then i remember - david pastrnak is literally hoarding it all…!

lads, it’s official: this is the only photo i need to look at for the rest of my life. if this is not the energy you are bringing, i don’t want to fw you

and here ends my very first david pastrnak lovepost - thank you for the request anon, i hope you enjoy!!! :) i love pasta with all my little heart so i really loved doing this one and in all honesty could probably be talked into doing another one pretty easily if anyone is interested, bc there’s a lot of photos and gifs i didn’t use (i don’t want to make these like 50 photos long yknow). as mentioned at the top of the post, feel free to send me any requests you may have!!

[jedsilva]

i knew i couldn’t stay away for long. hello, it is i, ash — making the dramatic return bc it’s no secret that i’ve missed u all. this one’s a very special muse 2 me, my best capricorn boi;

—- [ rob raco, cismale, he/him, 29 ] DESPICABLE by GRANDSON? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of JED SILVA. maybe because they’re PERCEPTIVE but also WITHDRAWN. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since JULY of 2012 in 206 and have 3 ROOMMATES.

✕ PINTEREST

BACKGROUND

grew up an only child, had as average of a childhood as one could imagine. he was a smart, level-headed, and observant kid, albeit quiet and happy to keep to himself. a bit of weirdo, but he was fine, really.

however as he grew older, it became apparent that something was holding him back. on the rare occasion that he would talk with others, he consistently spoke too rapidly, his words sounding disorganized and abnormally ‘jerky’. it was difficult for others to understand him, and with several of his school teachers insisting, he was introduced him to a speech-language pathologist who diagnosed him with a speech disorder.

in his own head, he was fine. he never felt to struggle, therefore how could there possibly be anything wrong with him? he was quick to resent therapy, especially as several years passed and he had little improvement. from there, he continued to struggle through primary school, his hostility growing the older he got.

he was 6 when his parents separated, resulting in him being whisked away from his childhood home in san antonio with his mother. from there, things got a little rough. god dang kids were mean, his perfect marks suddenly turned into horrible grades, he distanced himself even more… basically, he was miserable. he was bitter and angry at all times, and he was an outcast, his constant silence doing nothing to help the bottled emotions. slowly, however, he found an outlet in writing and music. it helped him to organize his thoughts and words into carefully crafted poetry. it first began in the form of piano lessons, much to the relief of his mother who had come up with the idea as a desperate attempt to help her son find means of expression. from there, with his newfound appreciation for music, he seemed to excel at every instrument he touched.

for the first time in his life, he seemed to be changing… improving. his friend group was small, but they were bonded together by a mutual love for music, one that helped them to form their own band first for fun, but it would slowly take them where they never rlly imagined it would. **so uhhh this is the part where i’m gonna whip up a wc to toss on the main**

as the band progressed into… something, the world suddenly became pretty real. the stress, the sleepless nights, the small crowds, the constant criticism and the feeling of being scrutinized by every person at every moment… they may have only achieved minor success, but it was still no place for someone like jed, who tried to hide behind his bandmates and his awkwardly long hair, shying away from any form of publicity as he went.

enter the jed who went from “hello sir, it’s nice to finally meet you” to “ya daughter calls me daddy too”. no more hiding behind his awkwardly long hair, avoiding everyone and everything. nah, he pulled out all the stunts; he cut his hair and he changed his style, forcing a sense of arrogance and swaggering confidence until he didn’t know who he was trying to fool more anymore. he’s hated every minute of it, but he’s become a bit lost in it all

PERSONALITY & THINGS

jed is… a lot, tbh. his personality is an overall odd and temperamental one that many people seem too impatient to handle. this persona that he’s adopted is no real reflection of him at all. beneath it, he is still very much the reserved young man he once was, with his ever-wandering thoughts that he often gets wrapped up in. for real, he’ll stare off into space without warning like he’s stoned af, but i promise he’s not. he’s too Tired™ almost always to even bother acting interested when he’s not.

over the years, he’s learned to be a bit more... comfortable with himself. there was a time when the topic of sexuality would have him running and hiding (which was the exact cause of his one and only real relationship ending – one that he’s still not over), but nowadays, it’s one of the few things he confidently owns, maybe even more than his own music.

he can be quite charming when he feels up to it, but more often than not, he’ll ramble on about nonsensical things with long pauses and a lot of ‘like’s and ‘um’s. get him talking about a topic he knows a lot about, and hold on tight for the wild ride.

he has a permanently unamused face, but beneath that, it’s a party in that head of his.

though impossibly lonely, he prefers his own company and often deters others with a rather brash attitude, but for those that kindly and patiently earn their way to his heart, they certainly have his loyalty and friendship for life<3 tbh, force a few hugs on him, and he’ll eventually love you. after all, he can’t stand to be alone with his own thoughts for long

constantly aims for that 2013 AM-era arctic monkeys aesthetic, u know the one

has a highkey obsession with bowie, locked himself in his room for a week when he died and still mourns to this day. is also prolly not ashamed to tell u he’s rocked about 13 iconic bowie lewks for halloween or otherwise

wanted to grow up to be brian may when he was a young lad

is physically attached to his moleskine notebook that he carries everywhere. touch it and die

if u haven’t seen him in a full 48 hours, pls check on him because guarantee he’s been plastered to the tv screen, playing stupid video games with no sleep

manages to look throughly confused in every photo ever taken

writes texts like professional emails — please for the love of god someone teach him text slang and how to properly use emojis before it’s too late

HEYYO LET’S PLOT

p.s. find a few more stats here !!

[thirduncle]

Put your music on shuffle and answer the questions about each artist. 

tagged by @chrisbells thank you sm !!

Name of Artist: placebo

What genre are they ? alt rock

How long have they been active ? they formed in ‘94 but released their self titled in ‘96

Have you ever heard them on the radio ? yes ! i always get quite excited when i do

Have they released any new music within the last year or two ? no the last thing they did was a place for us to dream in 2016 i think

Do they have a male or female vocalist ? male

Name of Artist: brian eno

Would you recommend them ? yeah !

What is your favourite lyric of theirs ? um things like “some of them are old but it would help if you could smile, to earn a crooked sixpence you'll walk many crooked miles” or all of ‘on some faraway beach’

What are their album artworks like ? some of them are really quite funky and really interesting to look at, like (no pussyfooting), here come the warm jets, another green world !! and the close up of maps for the ambient ones

If they stopped making music, would you be sad ? wouldn’t be devastated but y’know it’s nice thinking abt him doing whatever funky little thing he’s doing with his music or art and it’d be a shame for him to not be doing anything i think.

If you didn’t know what they look like, based off their music, what you guess they looked like ? weird hairstyle, weird makeup, bright colours, expressive features, cheeky lookin... i think when he was younger he very much looked like the music he made and he’s gotten progressively more normal-looking but he still has insane amounts of chaotic energy

Name of Artist: kraftwerk

How popular are they ? quite ! popular

Have you ever seen them perform live ? i WISH lol i think my friends and i wanted to go back in abt 2015 but it’s too expensive man

How did you find out about them ? i used to take german lessons in school (i did Not pay attention at all) but my german teacher was rly sweet and she showed the class some german bands and my friends and i absolutely lost our shit over kraftwerk as soon as we saw them 

What is their sexuality, if known ? they’re all robotfuckers

Is their music easy to dance to ? oh absolutely

Name of Artist: george harrison

What instrument is the most prominent in their music ? guitar, i think, george has a v recognisable n distinctive style of playing

Does your family listen to them ? no, nobody that i know of in my family listen to anything george has done past the beatles

Are they still making music today ? well no he hasn’t made music in a Minute but i think he’s got a reason for that 

Would you want to meet them ? so !! many !! times !! i’ve thought about meeting him !! was i not being emo abt wanting to meet him just yesterday ? having tea with him in friar park and walking around his garden with him ? i want to so badly

How represented is this artist in your saved music / collection ? mostly i have all things must pass saved and a couple from his other albums

Name of Artist: the clash

When did you discover them ? i don’t remember, maybe 2015

How many albums do they have ? six

Which member of the band is closest to your ‘type’ / do you find the most attractive ? oh shit uh thats tough but i think i’ll go with joe

Have they gone through any line-up changes ? yeah, when topper left and then mick got booted out

Is their music more fun or serious ? it can be fun but obviously the politics in the music is serious

Name of Artist: bob dylan

Is the type of music / genre they play something you would typically enjoy or is their sound different for you ? no i don’t think anyone would be surprised w me if i said i loved dylan n i don’t think the type of music is smth particularly atypical of me

Based off of their sound, what would a human version of their music look like ? messy hair, crooked smile, shifty eyes always half-shut, looks a little unnerving but has a bit of a baby face

Could you see yourself getting along with the members personally ? uh i think i’d try and shake his hand but he’d kill me on the spot (in other words, i’d like to think so but who knows)

Did somebody recommend this band to you ? nah he’s kinda everywhere you can’t escape this bitch

Of all their songs, which would you play at a party ? i’d put on desolation row and make everyone sit down and talk about it

Name of Artist: the smiths

How many people are in this band/group ? four

When did they start making music ? like ‘82

Do they have any well known songs, if so, which one(s) ? yeah like heaven knows i’m miserable now, how soon is now

Do you listen to this artist regularly ? oof yeah 

How would you describe their music ? the mood is like your friends have gone out without you so you think hey i can have fun on my own and you do for a half second but you end up sitting under a tree feeling miserable and sorry for yourself and your crush wont text you back

Name of Artist: queen

If they use a stage name, what is their real name(s) ? freddie’s name is farrokh bulsara

Do they regularly make pop charts ? oh yeah they did all the time n i’m pretty sure again w bo rhap

Have you ever met them ? no, i would do Anything to have met freddie and i think now i’d love to meet john deacon but i don’t want to bother him, he doesn’t want the attention

If they toured in your city, would you go see them ? ghhh tbh i wouldn’t go n see them w adam lambert bc firstly it’s far too expensive n second i don’t . want to see queen w/o freddie or john tbh. but that’s just me

Name of Artist: the cure

Are they known for anything else besides music ? the lewks

What is their nationality ? english

Are they a guilty pleasure ? no ! i love them n everyone knows it

Which age group is this artist most popular with ? i think a lot of people from all ages love em but idk maybe they’re most popular with the people who were around when they were most popular

Has this artist ever toured in your country/state/city ? yeah but i haven’t had the chance to see them yet

Name of Artist: t. rex

Do you think it’s necessary or important to know about their personal life to ‘understand’ their music ? i don’t think you Need to but i think with any artist it’s always nice to have context to their music and helps to give a bit more insight into what they’re making but it’s not a necessity i don’t think

Have they ever gone on hiatus and did they return ? no they never went on hiatus

What instruments do they use ? well aside from the usual instruments n lots of guitar they used like string instruments/piano/saxophone n stuff like that

What city are they from ? london

What are your experiences with fans of this artist ? i don’t know i haven’t really been around like . t rex ‘stans’ or like accounts solely dedicated to t rex or anything like that. everyone here that likes t rex are chill and v nice so that’s good

um ok i’m gonna tag @1nnuendo @kingink2  @horrorjew @bowiepop @spacegreengay (you don’t have to do it but jsjjhj hi)

[transfemmbeatrice]

Leverage for the ask meme? And the Star Trek of your choice?

imma go w tng for trek bc its a bigger ensemble than tos. also i deleted this halfway through by accident alsdkjl;

the first character i ever fell in love with:Leverage: probably hardison? i don’t actually remember but nate takes a while to warm up to, eliot has that terrible haircut, you don’t rly get to see parker’s depths yet, sophie doesn’t come in until halfway through but she’d be the only other one it might have been...but probably hardison, bc he’s so immediately charismatic and likable and has great dynamics with the other charactersTng: i assume it was Data bc i have a Fucking Type and its robot boys who want to feel emotions and understand humans

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:Leverage: i don’t think there’s anyone i changed my mind on this way? the reverse happened with Tara--i wasn’t sure about her at first and then came to love her--but afaik there wasn’t anyone who started out cool and then turned out to be shittyTng: wesley. i didn’t get why everyone hated him bc i loved him as a young, curious, precocious kid with terrible sweaters but then when he got older he was annoying.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:Leverage: very early on i liked the nate/eliot/sophie dynamic bc eliot sort of fit with them as someone with more experience/maturity? and i adore stubborn assholes in love? but then i Realized,Tng: i guess i kinda thought deanna and will were cute early on? but no

my ultimate favorite character™:Leverage: i can’t choose they’re a FAMBLY and i LOVE THEM ALL EQUALLY (but its Parker)Tng: Data. it’s hard bc i love so many of them so much and it often depends what episode i’d watched recently as to who is my favorite, but. Data. closest second is probably Geordi?

prettiest character:Leverage: sophie!!!!!!! queen of fashion and lewks and everything. also eliot tho.Tng: Geordi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

my most hated character:Leverage: every single rich douchebag. i hate them all with every fiber of my being.Tng: WILLIAM RIKER OH MY GOD I CAN’T STAND HIM

my OTP:Leverage: natesophie and the ot3, obviously, this isn’t even a questionTng: qcard and daforge and.... deanna/beverly

my NOTP:Leverage: anything that isn’t eliot parker and hardison ending up togetherTng: Tasha Yar/heterosexuality

favorite episode:Leverage: there are too many good ones!! the buried alive one, the mountain climbing one, the saving orphans one, the we all stole the same thing on the same night and didn’t know it one, the boys and girls night out ones.....Tng: is it cheating if i say every q episode?... also that episode with the Borg guy who gains individuality. there are too many episodes to remember my favorites off the top of my head but those are definitely up there

saddest death:Leverage: nate’s son for sure. also when the ot3 fake died??? what the fuck nateTng: TASHA!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS AN INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

favorite season:Leverage: oof. s4 i think? lotta good episodes.Tng: i literally cannot distinguish the seasons at all. the middle ones tho.

least favorite season:Leverage: they’re all excellent this question is illegalTng: the early ones i guess but i also loved them

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:Leverage: again i don’t think there is anyone? i love p much everyoneTng: R I K E R

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:Leverage: NATE so much Nate he’s my trash dad(dy)Tng: Q........

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:Leverage: honestly they all have really good arcs so there isn’t anyone who i think “deserves better” than the writing? hardison is the Most cinnamon roll but Parker is the Most deserved better than her backstory Tng: let deanna REST............. also tasha, obv. ALSO data has done nothing wrong ever in his life, and also i haven’t mentioned him yet so let me say it on record that i love and respect jean luc picard v much

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:Leverage: NATE/STERLING OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SM AND THEY’RE GARBAGE (also nate/sterling/sophie)Tng: i can’t think of anything that qualifies for tng??? i don’t think qcard is nasty but i do think q is trash and that they’re a mess together but like, a good mess

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:Leverage: parker/hardison i guess? like i really love their canon romance, but. we all know its the ot3.Tng: a lot of the canon ships fall in this category. like deanna/worf is fun! beverly/picard is good! but i’m not that invested.

[bisluthq]

I am a huge Bowie fan and a somewhat lowkey prince fan and it’s just very interesting how Harry got that shit for wearing a dress when both of them did it decades earlier. Like did we all just collectively forget? Like why were there people on both sides (Candace Owens and Billy Porter) acting like men didn’t do this decades prior like he’s not even really being that subversive with that either tbh.

I like his music bc I like Bowie and Prince (tbh he has Peter Gabriel mixed in there too and I think that’s arguably who he sounds the most like esp if you compare his Sledgehammer cover to his songs it’s very similar to Adore You). But even that is derivative and I guess it’s played up because we’re having this stupid fucking culture war in the trenches of Twitter everyday. But like it’s truly not a big deal if he wears a dress and lets his balls go free. I get why Candace got pissed, it’s like, her job to be irrationally pissed off anytime a man looks at nail polish never mind actually wears a dress… but I’m still pissed at Billy porter tbh bc if it wasn’t for straight men like prince and men who flirted with bisexuality and gender expression like Bowie but never really settled on a label… it would be a lot harder for him to express his gender and wear what he wants, and like if Harry is doing this for the next generation so fucking be it. Like I get we need more lgbt rep but 1) we don’t know Harry’s identity and 2) I thought the point of all this was to let people wear what they want and express themselves irregardless of gender identity???

Idk I’m pissed about the liberal infighting it’s why nothing ever gets done like fuck. If you find yourself bending over backwards to make a “leftist” take and find yourself agreeing with Candace Owens in any way maybe you need to go hit your head against the wall idk. Like how both of them arrived at the conclusion “cis men shouldn’t wear dresses” blows my mind and makes me want to scream. Like sorry lol I know this is old news but every time I think about I want to shake Billy 💀

Yeah no exactly. People our out in the streets acting like Harry invented light fluidity and gender play like Bowie wasn’t like… right there… and like Harry doesn’t personally copy his lewks and sound and shit.

If Harry inspires some kids to play with gender and not label themselves then like that’s awesome. A boy is likelier to wear nail polish and have cute nails if he sees the #1 male pop act does (and tbh that Sophie Turner’s husband does) and he might be feeling himself as a result! And that’s awesome.

But like come on lmao Harry isn’t revolutionary and isn’t worth arguing about.

[meek-boy-rogers]

Out The Window

Fandom: Marvel

Words: 2,461

Summary: Y/N is set on befriending Bucky Barnes. She is set on making him as comfortable as possible in the Avengers Tower. She wants him to trust more people.

Warnings: Really none, just kinda brooding Bucky as usual. 

I kinda like snatched Kim Possible’s lewk bc she’s iconic. I’d also like to note that if you are plus size, please do feel comfortable reading this bc you are Avengers worthy, I assure you. And I don’t write specific body descriptions but I would love to write for plus size!readers as I am one. I hope you enjoy though! Please leave feedback, thank youu!!

 Bucky Barnes was probably the most quiet, reserved person that Y/N had ever met. As soon as he was placed next door to her in the Tower, she had a mission to befriend him, make him comfortable. All she wanted was for him to know that he had a place, he was welcome. That despite his past, people knew he was a good person, that he was innocent.

 She started off by making him breakfast, although she usually made the team breakfast anyway. She woke up bright and early the Sunday following his arrival. Everyone was usually still asleep at this time, so she always took the quiet to cook up some waffles, bacon and eggs for the super heroes. By the time she was finished, they would all saunter in. Usually sleepy and smiling from the pleasant smell that filled the living space.

 When Bucky didn’t walk into the kitchen like the rest, Y/N asked FRIDAY where he was located before making him a plate and pouring him a glass of orange juice. When she entered the training room, it wasn’t hard to tell that he was in fact in there. The sound of grunts and skin hitting a punching bag filled her ears, she was cautious. Not wanting to disrupt his workout.

 She spoke softly, “Bucky, I made some breakfast.”

 When all he did was look over at her with his usual brooding expression, she smiled awkwardly, setting the plate onto the bench along with the juice. When she finally made it out of his vicinity, she let out a loud groan while crossing her arms. She already knew this was going to be difficult but, damn.

 Despite him never speaking to her, she still brought him breakfast daily. She would sometimes be stuck next to him on the couch and she would turn to him and comment on a scene of the movie that was playing. Or make a quick jab at Tony to get the man to crack a smile or even to laugh. Usually he looked at her with confusion etched into his features. Sometimes he’d just look down at his hands, purse his lips and get deep into thought. It was hard not to take it personally.

 “He just needs some time, just keep trying. He’ll come back to it one day. I know he will.” Steve would say, anytime Y/N would talk to him about her aggravation. That was easy for him to say, he gets to speak to the man and make him comfortable and help him.

 One night, Y/N found herself not being able to sleep. She was tossing and turning, lying on her back for a moment, eyes staring up to the dark ceiling. It was a sleepless night that she very rarely had. She checked her clock that sat next to her bed on her night stand. It read 3 A.M.

 She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard thrashing and loud groans and grunts. Sitting up, she asked FRIDAY to turn on her lights. She looked around, seeing nothing. She heard it once again, taking a moment to let her mind put the pieces together. It was Bucky. Moments later she found herself in front of his door, debating whether to open the door or to knock. She knew it would startle him further if she knocked so she settled for creaking the door open quietly.

 The sight nearly broke her heart. There, laid Bucky, sweat covering his face, his eyebrows scrunched together. She couldn’t tell if there were tears or not due to all the sweat. She walked quietly over to the side of his bed, kneeling next to him. She let one hand find there way to his palm, making calming circles in his skin. The other went to his drenched hair, she ignored that he was dripping in sweat and opted for soothing him out of his nightmare.

 “Hey, shh. It’s okay, you’re okay. Bucky, it’s alright. You’re safe, I’m right here.” She spoke smoothly into his ear. He was calming down. His breathing was slowing. She continued the mantra to him, rubbing the circles into his hand for a few minutes before she quietly stood up and made her way back to her room. She fell into a deep sleep after that, feeling happy that Bucky would probably have a peaceful sleep till morning comes.

 The following morning, the usual routine took place. Y/N made breakfast for the team, watching them sleepily make their way into the kitchen. She would walk to the training room, tell Bucky she made breakfast and then leave it at the bench. He didn’t speak, he didn’t nod, he just gave her the same frown and scrunched brow he always did.

 When it came time for the crew to suit up and leave for a mission, she suited up into her usual army green pants that hugged her hips, but were open and free waist down. She had her long sleeve black tee, and boots that she treasured. Her gun in its rightful holster on her hip. Don’t let that deceive you though, she always had one strapped to her ankle and she had her switch blade tucked securely in her waistband.

 This was the first mission since Bucky’s arrival, so Steve was being an extra hard ass on the team not to fuck up. The whole ride to the destination he told us to stay in pairs and to insure we will be safe, he paired us all. Nat and Clint, Wanda and Vision, he paired himself with Sam, Tony insisted he was a big boy and he could handle his own, and he finally paired Y/N with Bucky. She couldn’t help but look over at him with a big smile, offering him a big thumbs up in an attempt to lighten the stressed mood that Steve seemed to settle them all with. She could have sworn she seen his lip curl up, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.

 Once the large SUV stopped in front of the last known Hydra building, everyone piled out, weapons up, ready. Bucky led the way for Y/N, every pairing took a separate direction. Y/N made sure to keep her back to the wall, her eyes trying to focus on everything at once. They came across a door, but as Y/N turned the knob, it was locked. She sighed before taking a step back and using all her force to kick it down. She was pleased with herself when the door swung open, had she only seen Bucky’s surprised look before he smiled the tiniest bit.

 The mission was another boring one, there was only a handful of agents in the facility and they didn’t put up much of a fight once the whole lot cornered them. Either way, while Y/N was left to load them all into S.H.I.E.L.Ds bus, she wasn’t gentle with them. She found joy on letting them climb up the step before she kicked them right in the ass, letting them face plant into the ground, not having the luxury of using their hands to stop themselves from falling. Every time one of the Hydra agents would hit the ground, she would let out a loud laugh, before clapping. Like she was watching the best comedy she’d ever seen.

“You got to love Y/N, she really is one of the most bad ass, childish people out there.” Natasha was speaking to the team, while she was laughing. Everyone else let out a hearty laugh, while Bucky still sat with a frown and his brows scrunched. He was having a hard time holding his trust in, he feared of trusting anyone new. He only had room for Steve right now, but his heart was slowly making room for one more person.

 Y/N didn’t realize that she started to stay up later. She would find herself awake when she heard the heartbreaking sound of Bucky letting out yelps, sometimes a quiet sob. She would enter his room late at night, one hand in his hair, the other tracing soft circles on his palm.

 “You’re okay, Bucky. You’re safe. I’m here. Shh, baby it’s okay.” She repeated softly into his ear, waiting for his breathing to settle and for the soft snores to return.

 The next morning when her alarm went off at the usual 6:30 A.M. all she wanted to do was go back to sleep, having gotten very few hours of sleep. But, she couldn’t. She couldn’t break routine, she had to make breakfast. She had to, or the last month would’ve been for nothing. She would have wasted all her time to get Bucky to be comfortable for nothing. So, she made her way into the kitchen.

 In the waiting process for the waffles to finally finish, she rested her took a seat on the stool, letting her eyes fall. She was going to shut her eyes for a moment. Just a moment, she told herself.

 But, when she was awakened by panicked yells of, “Y/N! The waffle maker is on fire, what the fuck!” coming from Tony, she jumped up and nearly fell trying to stand up, getting off the stool. The whole team, surprisingly including Bucky, were standing around in a panic. Not one of them trying to put the fire out in a logical way. Y/N quickly got the fire extinguisher she put under the sink when they first moved in, putting the fire out. She turned around and shoved the extinguisher into Tony’s arms.

 “You guys are so incapable of handling the smallest things. I’m going back to bed, figure out breakfast yourselves for once.” She called out, as she made her way back upstairs to her room. The team looking at each other with a confusion written on their faces.

 “It appears that Ms. L/N has been getting very little sleep the past couple of nights. It seems that late at night she is in Mr. Barnes’ room while he is having a nightmare. Would you like me to play the footage?” FRIDAY spoke, clueless that it shouldn’t tell the team everything.

 It was like a switch was flipped when everyone’s heads snapped to Bucky’s all at once. He was just as confused as they were. He scrunched his brows together, trying to remember if he heard voices in the middle of his dreams. He could vaguely remember hearing a soft, sweet voice speaking to him before the bad men vanish in his mind and is replaced with just darkness, nothing. He was free of the ongoing nightmare.

 “She… she’s the reason I’m not having nightmares all night. I realized they were going away but I-I just thought it was because I was getting better.” Bucky put the pieces together for the others.

 “Go talk to her, Buck.” Steve nudged his best friend. He hoped this would help him open up more, let more people into his heart other than just Steve.

 Y/N was just about to drift to sleep, when she heard a soft knock on her door. She groaned into her pillow, before rolling out of her bed to open her door. She didn’t expect it to be who she saw. Bucky, standing in front of her. It was different though, he didn’t have his scrunched brows or frown, his lips weren’t pursed. Instead, he had a soft smile. His eyes were softer, gentle. His eyebrows lay in their rightful place, but you could still see that lines that imprinted his forehead from how much he would have them scrunched together.

 “Hi.” His voice had its usual roughness to it, but it was still soothing.

 “Would you like to come in?” She asked, stepping aside, letting the door open further. She would have never thought to describe footsteps as gentle, or kind but it was weird. He walked in with so much feeling, something she had never witnessed before in her life.

 “I, um, I wanted to thank you for doing what you did, or do. FRIDAY told us all that you have been staying up and coming into my room when I start to have my nightmares. I know I’ve been quite cold to you when all you’ve done was be nice to me, I just wanted to say thank you.” He was sat on Y/N’s bed, his hands laced together. Eyebrows once furrowed again, as he focused intently on his metal hand, the grooves and detail of it.

 Y/N had always been the type of person that liked looking at peoples faces when they spoke, she liked looking into people’s eyes. Especially Bucky’s, they are blue and soft. So, she knelt in front of him, her hands taking hold of his, causing him to look at her.

 “I will gladly help you every night if I have to, I want you to heal. I want you to get better, but hey. If it takes weeks, months, even years. I will be there for you. You don’t have to be alone in this, James.” He didn’t need to answer, she didn’t force him to. When he nodded, she nodded back. She understood that he understood.

 When Bucky had his next nightmare, Y/N didn’t have to stay up all night and run to his room. Bucky begged her to let him stay in her room, so she could still get sleep and he could rid of his nightmares. When he started to thrash, letting out small grunts, Y/N woke up. She scooted closer to the distressed man, grabbing his hand bringing it up to her chest, she rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, placing a kiss to them before whispering to him.

 “It’s okay, Buck. You’re safe, I’m here.” Her tired voice cracked every other word, but she didn’t care. She was going to soothe him into a comfortable sleep. Although, she did the opposite. His eyes blinked open, he looked to his left to see Y/N, her eyes closed still, she was whispering repeatedly, “You’re safe, Bucky. I’m here.”

 “I know.” Bucky said, startling Y/N. When she opened her eyes, Bucky was smiling. He just loved how she was half asleep herself, trying to put him back into a peaceful rest. When she finally relaxed, she cuddled into his side, resting her head on his chest.

 “Sleep.” She said, one simple word. Bucky couldn’t help the fond smile that crept onto his face. For the first time in a long time, it seemed that maybe he wouldn’t be plagued with the horrible memories of his time as The Winter Soldier. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed of peace. He dreamed of the future, perhaps being happy with Y/N by his side.

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #12- “Liam: Hey Google, play ambience”- Sara

I got Vincent and Liam as my pool peeps. Vincent was just voted out, and Liam is on the outs right now. Things are looking bright. A lot of people want me for their final 3. All I have to do is make sure that Liam is out next, and then play the immunity idol for myself, and I'll be good! This is so exciting, I've never gotten this far.

Holy fucking shit ! I cant believe I have made it this far in my first ever real org! Idk if I'm being cocky or not but I do feel i have made most the big moves in the game or at least had a hand in them . I think everyone trust me and I'm praying to the tumblr survivor gods that I can keep coming out on top .

Wow! Cannot believe that I've made it this far! I definitely just thought I'd be leaving after Rizo but I guess I'm just surprising myself! With Cheatham and Austin saying they're with me and me admitting to AnnMarie how much I do value her, I do think its optimal for me that one of Liam and Sara goes. Seeing as the plan is to use Liam to get AnnMarie or Sara out, I can only hope Sara is the one to go, but I will not push a single pathway on myself just yet :)

I think a strategy that could help is Perception of Pairs. At the start of merge it sorta made sense. Rizo/me, AnnMarie/Sara, Vincent/Liam, now Austin/Cheatham, then the wildcards Kyle/Noah. I lucked out in mine going first and I think each one has been suffering since...except for 2. This vote I think Cheatham wants to pitch the AnnMarie/Sara thing to get him to vote with us. However, if it works, I need to cover myself in F5 and painting Austin/Cheatham as the last remaining duo is the best shot I think I have. 1 round at a time though! 

I really need this immunity win! I know my name is always going around and this is the only way I'll have safety in this game. Hopefully ppl mess up and get to many numbers and cant make a expression . This will be the most hectic tribal so gotta do whatever to win this.  

I have a concern for F5...say Liam goes. I truly believe Austin is going to be smack dab in the middle and I can end up being voted. In fact I am more surprised nobody else has picked up on how good he is playing. I can only hope AM does believe it when I say I want to go to the end with her for my own safety's sake but all of it can go wrong if she and Austin are truly close

FUCK SHIT BALLS DAMN IT! i was so close on that win. the one time chris gets one and it fucks me over.... i like chris but i wanna kick him in his nuts right now.Hopefully i can get by this tribal without my name being thrown out again .

I may or may not have gotten Cheatham fully on board to stick with me until the end. I guess Austin didn't keep him all that informed on everything in regards to what happened premerge and so I filled the cracks and I think now I'm wanting to bring Liam and Cheatham to the end so it is easier for me to bring Cheatham, but I feel worried that others and Cheatham too are thinking to bring Liam as an easy win. I'm gonna hold on and hope this can all work!

(LATER)

I lowkey just clockblocked Austin from winning immunity on purpose LOL what's wrong with me

(MUCH LATER)

I have a problem....So Liam goes in F6 right. So what happens in F5? Austin has never voted for AnnMarie. He ALSO did not vote for Sara in F8. What does this exactly? AnnMarie and Sara may feel less compelled to vote him and vote me or Cheatham instead. And it's just...I don't know why my gut is telling me this Liam vote is a bad idea, but I'm gonna see if I can talk to AnnMarie and Sara about it. Cheatham basically fears Liam's a goat to drag and he is but I'm wondering what the smarter move here is for us to do...for me to do tbh

Jesus plz just tell me what to do. Well I won immunity again. Im still scared for what comes next. Everyone is promising F2 but the only one I really want to go with is Chris bc I can trust him and I think I can beat him. As much as I love Austin and I think he is an amazing person! I don't think I can beat him. Plus he is promising EVERYONE a F2. AM told me that she wants a F3 with me, Chris, and her and I'm like YESSSS this is what I want. But AM is also close with everyone,. Basically what I want is to convince AM to take out Sara this week with me, Chris, and Liam. Then after that, we get out Austin, then its easy to take out Liam. Boom, Final 3.Ill probably update tom mwah

Me and Cheatham be trying to flip things a little >8l

According to Cheatham, AM wants an F3 with him and me, I guess telling her I wanted to go to the end with her did WONDERS! I hope! But basically, I don't necessarily want to have my faith fully in her hands in f5, especially with Sara and Austin around, so I am gonna see if Cheatham can propose the plan to vote Sara. Liam is not gonna be hard to convince, but its a question on if AM really wants to do this. I personally would be surprised. If Cheatman's honest about her list being Vincent and Liam, then she has little to gain by not voting Liam out and just getting Auston or Sara out with a BIG MOVE in F5, but let's see if this bridge can hold first

Tea time with Sara So this morning...it was freakishly quiet. Like I'm at a funeral, quiet. So I was like yup...probably my funeral tonight. But THEN... BUT THEN.... I get word that it's ANNMARIE (who PROMISED MANY TIMES that we have each others backs) potentially planning my funeral after this round because she wants to target me or Austin. Apparently she had Vin and Liam on her target list and thinks Liam is going tonight. However, if Liam will just vote with us, I will go to ducking rocks if we have to. I'm annoyed at Cheatham for coming for me, but he's a blessing in disguise because he tells Austin EVERYTHING not realizing that Austin is playing telephone right back to me. Lmfao! So anyways, I'm literally at the point in this game where I'm going to finals with Austin, or I'm not going at all. Every single person in this game has either voted me or mentioned voting me. Also, it's freaking hilarious that for rounds, I've been telling multiple people that AM and Chris are close. Like seriously..it's obvious..whenever AM talks to me, she somehow finds a way to bring up Chris' name. Come on sis. It was the same way with Gwen. She always talked about Chris, so I kept buttering him up to her so she'd stay on my good side before slicing and dicing her right out of the game. Same thing with Cheatham and Austin...but in that case...I'm pretty sure that Austin is actually ride or die with me. Hope I'm not being naive with that. And no, I don't think I can beat him, but it'll KILL me, literally KILL me if anyone but he or I win at this point. ): ^As for that above statement, I don't say this because they're against me...I say this because... -AnnMarie was messaged in the wee hours of the morning and decided to just outright ignore me trying to use the excuse that she was on DND. Cool yeah...but clearly you were scheming against me so I'm pretty sure that wasn't the issue. Don't act weird when you're planning moves....people see that. -Cheatham same thing. Every time he's scheming or knows plans that he doesn't want leaked, he avoids PM's AND alliance chats. Once again, then lie so you don't seem so damn sus. -Liam - "Hey Google, play ambience" - Chris is the real UTR that the oompa loompas don't see. I literally feel like I'd have to vote him but he too has not done much other than have a good social game...but he at least SPEAKS and is good at not lewking sus every time he's aware of a plan. Can you tell that I'm annoyed today? If not, I'm very annoyed. Watch all of this be fake. Or AM actually have me on the target list and I'm the vote. Literally, Idk what's happening anymore in this game. Lmfao! IDK if being in this position is extra fun or extra depressing.

The plot has thickened. It would seem this big plan to vote Sara out has fallen through. So me and Cheatham talked of getting Austin on Sara or AnnMarie and getting Sara voted. Now Austin pretty much went to me after and admitted that Cheatham told him about our F2 and wants me gone in F4/F3. Now, to be completely fair, it is possible he was saving face, but let us also look at the whole idol situation. Austin said Cheatham had Vincent and maybe Sara so he fears. So I did something a little evil

I basically told Austin to tell AnnMarie about Cheatham leaking the F3 she wanted with me/Cheatham/her in it. This builds mistrust between her and Cheatham and in essence makes her more likely to trust me still who is playing dumb as heck. Now the vote's flipped back onto Liam who apparently went to Austin to vote me or AnnMarie. Well! I take it upon myself to say lets just make an F3 with AnnMarie and Austin Into the Unknown we go! If AnnMarie truly wants Austin out to win, she'll choose me over him and if Austin is honest on us going to the end, he'll choose me over her. Cheatham will make a fuss, but I haven't been worried about making people upset since Rizo died so let's see where the wind is going yall

Okay so I'm like really really really really angry. I thought I had an initial final 3 and that everything was going to be fine with them. my thoughts was it was going to be Cheatham and Chris but things got to be stupid and had to Change-Up. so I told cheatham my plan and told him I was solid with him that everything was going to be okay and that we were going to be you know like final 3 and then he goes to Austin and tells him everything I just said. now Austin being the good friend that he is tells me that cheatham done told him and tells me that he's still solid with me and I was like oh my God you're amazing thank you so much you don't know how much that means to me because if it's true honestly Austin is my strongest Ally right now. So forget about Cheatham it's me Austin and Chris now hopefully unless Austin is not being solid and having his own plan but I'm getting the immunity idol tonight which is really really really exciting to me and I really just can't wait I'm using voice chat by the way like voice text thing on my phone so I don't have to type so it's probably mistakes here sorry.

Well, not going as planned. Liam is going home and i told him so hopefully that secures his vote for me in Final tribal. He has aid he’s gonna end them (sara and austin) when he walks out. we will see ig. AM and Austin are playing a scared game tbh. I’m the only one taking risks.

CONF: I still think I’m fucked in this game and idk what to do to help my position here but I think Sara going is the best move for me??

I’m drunk lmaoo msss

5 votes Liam, 1 vote Chris.

[stridersister]

lol glad you like talking about it bc i love reading it! world building is my absolute favourite thing in the world so i love swapping ideas with people every now and then!! c: ohhh, i for sure thought elio would get the princess (u know how it always goes) :o neat!! love me some blue/red aesthetic. tell me about elios two friends!

I do too! that’s why this is one of my favorite stories that I’m writing/working on, even if I can’t have time to work on it at this very moment (hopefully that changes this summer! in like 2 days lmfao) I get to build a bunch of different planets/peoples

yes right that’s what I want people to think, and then Elio is just like nope I’m in love with this muscular woman with skin as dark as the night and a heart of gold, her name is Albora and she comes from Earth. Her sister is named Sona with pink/purple hair but otherwise similar look and she’s my space lesbian, can’t have enough of those. she falls in love with the enemy, they have a korrasami aesthetic goin on

so those are the 5 main characters lol there’s Elio, Rex Roer and Yala Qin Amaya being his childhood friends from the prison, they escape and get separated and in the process Elio meets Albora and Sona, and basically take back Earth, the first planet where the story takes place. So Rex is very bestial, hence his name. His people are ridiculed in the empire, they’re like Space Pirates with a Cause. His world is also inhabited by a dwarf species, they all live together in harmony and believe strongly in individual freedom to be who you are while still having a community to back you up. Rex has deeply tanned skin, reddish eyes and really red hair just like the rest of his peoples. They’re all rough and tumble & his home planet is basically one big mine that they defend the Empire from getting their Grubby Paws on and they like it that way. Rex’s family especially leads the rebellion, his mother being a particularly notorious figure, and because of that he’s hated by pretty much everyone when he first gets to Earth’s prison. Elio is just like nope, I’m adopting him. Ziad (Elio’s dad) is like ugh fucking fine u can keep him, and all the crooks know not to mess with Ziad. Rex is muscular, if a bit stocky, and his sense of smell is INSANE. he has two sisters and one brother (who is trans and their reunion is heartfelt and pure) who tease him relentlessly over his crush on the pretty blue princess, which is really comin to light around the time that he is able to reunite with his family!

Yala Qin, god where do I start. Ok first off she’s the REAL narrator of the story, and I always struggle b/w wanting to make the story 3rd person omniscient or just say fuck it and make it all from her pov. this story actually follows events in which she is the protag, a story that was literally originally just about her. Anyways, her name means Witness. She has blue skin, greenish eyes and thick, bluish green hair (I’m still debating between anything from royal blue to teal, it literally all looks good) that she grows out to go all the way past her waist and then lowkey be as tall as her. She has Asian features, as the Medorans all do. Her mother, Mikuzna, late Empress of the Medoran Empire, also had blue skin and is not of royal blood. It’s actually considered a Big Deal to the Medorans what color ur skin is, green being the most wealthy/noble class of Medorans. Yala Qin’s father, Garlo Ben, has green skin and red hair, as did his father before him, and as does Yala Qin’s older brother (ugh kff I can’t remember his name rn but all of their names are alien sounding intentionally bc when u think alien u think green skin and shit). Yala Qin and her younger brother, Phix Mik, took after her mother and got blue skin. The Medoran Nobility was NOT happy about Mikuzna becoming Empress but! Mikuzna is a key player even in death because she had the same powers as Yala Qin in life. She knew what she had to do and how to get the throne, just as well as she knew that the story had to unfold the way it was going to. Plus, she’s charming AF and no skin color can change that, Garlo Ben was SMITTEN ok. The third type of Medoran, and the far more common kind, as well as the lowest class, has purple skin and blondish hair (Phix Mik also has blondish hair too, almost white, to go with his blue skin. He’s soft. Smart boi, my fav. I lowkey ship him with Elio lmfao but I have some even better ships in mind.) 

So that’s Yala Qin’s whole backstory, and as u can see Blue is key to her whole lewk. Blue becomes the color of the rebellion because of how it was associated with the fall of the Medoran Empire, many taking it as a sign Mikuzna’s ascent to the throne was the sign of the apocalypse. She’s a princess, but she hasn’t been since she was young and landed on earth, so she’s bold and hard and mean. she bites. she fights with Rex a lot, naturally. She’s got layers and layers of thick skin because of who she is and she’s not backing down, and she goes through so much growth throughout the series, as they all do. Medorans can also breathe underwater and have webbed fingers and toes. Their home planet has red oceans and a pink sky, blue trees. or maybe the other way with the sky and trees idk whichever is prettier but def red oceans. Her powers, which she discovers once she gets back to her home planet, allow her to be two places at once, in a sense--the afterlife and the present timeline. There she is able to explore her past life, Sheva, and the lives of others through their souls. I would explain more but it’s very intricate and comes from the first story I was writing forever ago, so it’s a little hard to explain. basically Yala Qin, as her past life self Sheva, is able to interact with and see the souls of others in order to learn from the past and bring forward the correct future. Elio has faced off against his uncle in the past as their past lives, and have a primordial antagonism towards each other--up until now, Elio hasn’t been able to defeat him. Yala Qin is able to see all this and make corrections, but the only problem is that she doesn’t know whose soul belongs to who in real life. I’m not sure if this makes sense lol but I promise you I develop this arc over 7 whole books lmao. But so Yala Qin has these powers, she often goes between the two and that’s why Mikuzna knows she is the “Witness,” hence her name meaning in the Medoran language. 

ff wtf I didn’t realize how much I even wrote about them lmfao and I’m not even close to done but I’ve worked more on this than my paper, which just goes to show u where my heart is ugh