#bc ive had a pass for like 8 years on and off

[halfsizehellboy]

oh man okay. more thinking

hot shit do i feel enlightened bc audhd House makes so much sense to me!!! he surrounds himself with chaos and novelty and stimulation but still adheres to things that don't change-- his apartment, when he lives in it, it always set up the same way. it's mentioned he's had the same guitar for many years, as well as numerous medical texts. He uses his same red mug all the time at the hospital (he has a designated hospital mug. it lives at the hospital and he only uses it at the hospital). he is very adamant about his office space-- it only changes drastically for him in season 8. just before he leaves. he and Wilson have a fun schedule-- bowling nights, poker nights, etc-- and he does spontaneous stuff all the time, but he orchestrates it. he enacts enrichment time for his fellows and Wilson. he canonically spaces out during/stops processing conversations all the time because he's thinking. he will forget to do basic things while on cases, and there's that one episode where he stays up all night because he's cooking something. he is the king of "shit i forgot to eat. i forgot to shower and pee. i forgot--"

while im thinking of eating!! he has that bad hunger recognition. he will forgo eating for days for cases, fixations, pain levels. he usually eats off of wilson's plate anyways, and i think wilson mainly eats because he's made it part of routine, and that if he forgets to eat house definitely forgets to eat, and that usually ends badly. i dont think house has any specific avoidances but he does usually go for pizza, or anything wilson's made. he likes fries.

the adhd bit makes him more prone to addiction (it's a real thing) and he does show those behaviors (vicodin, alcohol). he has to have either the puzzles or the substances, taking him off both fucked with him a lot (mayfield and afterwards). in prison he got managed doses of vicodin, and he was getting antsy and desperate for the challenge of a good case towards the end of that arc. he all but jumps on that heat allergy guy, risking his chances of parole multiple times to try and get close. side note, did y'all see his equation scribblings on the wall by his bunk? hes so silly

ive also been thinking like. we see very large-scale self destructive behaviors from nearly everyone in the show but we don't see a lot of self-regulation outside of house's stimming so that means i get to make up my own and project onto wilson.

wilson spends a lot of time masking at work so we don't see him fully let loose and i think that he is a fan of full body movement. he's jumping up and down. he's pacing the apartment and swingin his arms. he sways and rocks in place. at the hospital and places that aren't safe he keeps the stim energy to his hands/fingers, or taps his foot/bounces his leg-- things easy enough for neurotypicals to pass off as nervous energy. he loves to click pens but he only does it when he's alone or with house because he knows that other people find it annoying (house doesn't care, he starts clicking/tapping too and it's like they're drumming together). he and house learned morse code and annoy the ducklings and cuddy with it all the time.

bad times wilson scratches a lot (this is me projecting btw). at his scalp, at his arms, anywhere he can get to; and usually he's self conscious enough to do it where he can hide it under his clothes (house is unaffected and can tell anyways)(usually because he's there trying to help wilson stop scratching)(but if he's not he can still tell and wilson doesn't wanna know how). he also presses/rubs his face a lot (in general and not just bad times wilson), and bad times wilson gets abrasions on his eyelids/cheeks from his sweatshirt when he has a meltdown. i've seen another person talk about this, but i think he absolutely tears his cuticles up. he's managed to stop biting/tearing his nails down to nothing but between vigorous scrubbing for the OR and not liking lotion (sensory bad. i need it for my arms and the backs of my hands sometimes and i always wipe it off of my palms and fingers) his hands are so dry. house makes fun of him but he does carry around a nail file because he's trying to stop picking at his fingers regularly, and limit it to a bad times emergency regulatory behavior.

house fights meltdowns to the death. he hates having them, he hates having to be vulnerable like that (and that's a canonical trauma response). he has held one off through sheer will for an entire week before wilson called out sick for him and made him take a day off. they ended up taking a long weekend to recover. on the occasion they're both melting down at the same time, it's a multiple days affair. wilson will recognize what's happening and try to make sure everything in the apartment is low effort and accessible from the floor because house's meltdowns are more often than not pain response and that means that house stays on the floor. and when wilson is melting /neg he doesn't want to leave house. on a sillier(?) note they have a tally/competition for shortest meltdown (wilson), longest meltdown (house), fastest to meltdown (house), longest amount of time spent holding off a meltdown (house), most efficient meltdown (wilson), and most meltdowns located in the hospital (wilson).

man i'm gonna have to make a fic for this, it's getting wild just on posts

[dalamusrex]

So, those who follow my personal blog are aware, and I know I'm not required to give details, but I've been thinking about letting people know and now's as good a time as any:

My dad was hospitalized for Acute Pancreatitis late at night on the 4th of August, after experiencing increasing pain for several days prior which he mistakenly originally thought was food poisoning. (And several incidents of "food poisoning" over the last year which were likely this pancreatitis beginning). Only once it became excruciating did he ask to be taken to the hospital, and by then it had caused some damage to his kidneys, liver, and GI tract. The cause is, they suspect, a gall stone which got stuck in the duct and eventually was passed.

Most people, with care, recover from Pancreatitis within 3 or 4 days, but my dad's been in the hospital for about 10, and they said he shouldn't leave without gallbladder removal surgery, but can't seem to get him to reach a point where they feel safe performing the surgery. So there's currently no discharge date in sight.

He was in the ICU over the weekend because the IV fluids they needed to help calm his pancreas was backing up into his lungs and causing breathing issues, and the nurses were too busy to keep up with his pain medicine. I think the fluid issue has been resolved? He's only recently been taken off all pain medication, finally able to bear being without it even if it still hurts. He should be moved out of the ICU today, if not tomorrow.

He is stable right now, but in pain, and taking longer to recover than is comfortable.

On top of that, I'm still unemployed, and I need to fix that ASAP but, yknow, no one wants to hire anymore, so it's been slow going.

I still log onto tumblr almost every day, bc Dal is a comfort to me even if I'm not actively writing/drawing for him.

I have it in my mind I want to participate in the currently ongoing TES Summer Fest even if I will be late for every post. And, of course, BG3 Dal is over here. One day I'll play ffxiv and write/draw for that Dal, and I have ideas for Modern Dal I just haven't posted to his blog yet. I haven't been able to sit still long enough to organize my thoughts into cohesive headcanons.

So I'm still here, I'm just overwhelmed at the moment. I appreciate everyone's patience with asks and replies, and I appreciate that people still have an interest in Dal despite my slowed activity.

I know people are often unsure what to talk about when serious subjects are present (not wanting to feel "cold" by changing the subject from serious matters), but I promise Dal is always a safe, even preferable, subject to bring up with me, whenever you want, wherever you want. If you want to remind me of an RP we had 8 years ago, please do. If you saw a bug outside that made you think of Dal for whatever reason, I wanna know. Don't feel like asking for an RP or sending asks is somehow cold or callous; it's a nice distraction even if I'm slow to respond.

[horizon-verizon]

When we think about it, Daeron II essentially sold his sister Daenerys to Dorne, forced a 16 year-old girl into marriage and shipped her off to a foreign land. And I’d estimate Maron’s age somewhere between 23 and 35, with a strong possibility of 27. Maybe Daemon Blackfyre had some points for starting the rebellion (and his mother, Daena the Defiant, was the rightful heir to the Iron Throne but got usurped, I stand by that).

GRRM says this:

Despite Daemon and Daenerys being in love, her brother the king, Daeron the Good, was more concerned with matters of state than matters of love. There had been many years of fighting with Dorne, and failure to bring them into the Seven Kingdoms while not being able to keep them from harassing the Seven Kingdoms. So he realized that where violence failed, perhaps marriage could bring an end to hostilites and so he uses his sister to make an alliance with the prince of Dorne. It's a political marriage, pure and simple, a convenient marriage to guarantee a union between Dorne and the Seven Kingdoms. And also, he prefers to give his sister to the prince of Dorne over a bastard brother with whom he'd already had a few clashes and whom too many people were looking one as a legitimate claimant to the throne or rightful king. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, and helps lead to Daemon becoming the first Blackfyre Pretender.

Yeah, they fell in love at some point but Daemon didn't act until 8 yrs passed after Daenerys' wedding. He seemed to moved on enough to have more than 5 kids with Rohanne of Tyrosh. That number of kids reveals that there is likely a strong bond between husband and wife. The same goes for Daenerys and Maron Martell.

And while you are attributing Daeron's unfitness to rule based on the amorality of his sending a 16-year-old to marry a grown man in a foreign place away from all she knew, Daemon did not rebel out of this sentiment. He also uses his own daughter, Calla, to have an alliance with Aegor Rivers. His reasoning/motives were:

his father, Aegon IV, legitimizing him

his mother being the eldest living adult child of Aegon III after Daeron I & Baelor I

the anti-Dornish sentiment at court and amongst those who had been fighting against Dornish people (stormlanders mostly) propelling detractors against Daeron to choose to support and encourage him

Yes if we had a PoV, we'd likely see:

his resentment towards Daeron for not marrying him to Daenerys

that leading or coming from contemplating how her marriage to a Martell was a strictly political strategy for tying the Dornish closer and consolidating Daeron's own rule

how Daeron's rule only exists bc Daena was passed over & Aegon IV was forced to marry Naerys (it's also possible that Daemon felt that if Daena just married Aegon he could then have not been a bastard/better life/better claim/married Daenerys) -> resenting how his bastardness partially blocked him from said throne & woman

But his main motive towards the throne is much more than just Daenerys and his love for her. To me, it seems like the desire to get out of that bastard identity that follows him even after legitimization by becoming the winner in a succession crisis/rebellion/usurpation attempt.

[fuckhouse2theelectricboogaloo]

ive had multiple callout posts on me before. it hasn't changed my view on callout posts. these callout posts were from people trying to deflect the fact that they themselves were problematic people

one of them being one written by AN ACTUAL LITERAL PEDOPHILE WHO TOUCHED REAL LITTLE LIKE. 8 YEAR OLD KIDS!!! and also like. sexually assaulted his partner irl. (among other things) yes he was 16. i don't think he should get a pass. this is a tangent, i know. but. its just so crazy to me. i have to bring it up all the time because i just think its so fucking mental. how did people let him get so far??? i know we didn't know but. were we all really that scared of him??? i mean ik i was bc. i was afraid of him writing more callouts on me. its not important, though, because all of that happened on twitter like a year ago and he's been run off the face of the earth to my knowledge. but also, its a very real example of a minor being a dangerous person. you know. someone actually worthy of being called out on like twitter dot com or whatever!!!!

i still think callout posts are inherently good if used in the correct manner. if someones harassing or hurting or manipulating or causing real mental harm (or physical harm. not common but. like i said before. it unfortunately happens) and its being unchecked. that's a bad thing. yes, shitty no-good very bad "callouts" exist. but a lot of callouts are made in good faith. and i don't think that one bad callout means every other one is bad!!!! "grrr all callouts are bad and if you don't agree you're a COPPPP!!!" no. nuh uh.

Posting as is

[httpiastri]

some quick notes from your previous reply (i’m sorry i took so long ive been so busy recently but i finally have time now so):

firstly, i hope i never meet a handball player irl, ever. the fact that you just casually know people above 200cm?? i’m sorry but i’d actually feel like a pest around everyone 😓😓 (plus id get really jealous of heights) and id also be terrified to even stand near anyone close to 200 pls

and omg the fact that the guy who got you into coaching recently passed? i hope you’re doing okay 😓🙏 but if it helps— he may not have known how much he changed your life, but through coaching, you’re basically keeping his legacy alive, yeah? i think it matters, personally, that people are remembered and honoured and you’re kinda doing that through coaching, because you’re kinda solidifying (if that’s the right word for it) the fact that he existed, and he did enough good to change the lives of people for the better, and that his time here on earth wasn’t all in vain because he did good and he brought joy to people like you by leading you to being a coach and that his impact lives on even when he’s gone yk? it’s a form of closure, i think— to know that even if someone is gone now, there are pieces of them scattered behind in little things (in your case, in your daily life as a coach), and that not all is lost, just a little harder to find

also oops the fact that i called them girls even though they’re only a barely a few years younger than me 😭😭

and omg pepe would 100% make me feel comfortable meeting him at a race even if he might be stressed and no way you got to go to races at 8?? you had a chance to be one of those cute kids probably decked out in merch (if no merch was involved you probably got to scream happily at everything and good for you😭😭 because thats exactly how races should be experienced)

finding sponsors can’t be that hard… we could infiltrate the space in various ways im sure (my friend’s mum knows someone who works for Marlboro that gets invited to races bc the company was an EX-sponsor so anything’s possible)

on a rather unrelated note— pepe’s been acting very much like a muse for me recently… whatever that might mean… (might even be nothing honestly sometimes i don’t know what i mean either)

anyway! as always, i hope you have a lovely lovely friday, and weekend, and june (pepe’s month!), and that people are kind to you and that the sky looks beautiful and gorgeous all the time ❤️❤️

- 🪷💗

gosh dont apologize :( esp since you know im bad at answering….. its alright 🥺 just glad to hear from you 🥺🥺

shdjdhd it do be scary to meet really tall people!! when im around the men's team i work with sometimes, i almost get neck pains bcs staring up at them is so hard 😵‍💫 and i have this other job where i have to like sit by the court and do things for the match, and when players come over to talk to me and they literally tower over me???? insane 😶 but yes i too get jealous of heights, esp since in handball it's good for girls to be tall too so everyone around me is always tall asf? ive always been considered to be a tall person in school but at 175cm i am nowadays considered short in the team i currently play in 😐😐😐 so yes i feel u aaa (also several of the girls i coach are my height already and just. pls stop growing, you're scaring me. 🥲)

ALSO OMFG i almost forgot to answer this but i had a thought yesterday.... about my favorite volleyball player being 188cm and i thought "hm that's not very far off from pepe" so of course i have now started thinking about volleyball player!pepe 😶 idk if you enjoy volleyball aaaaaaa but i just thought about his height and his big ass hands that would make hitting the ball easier and just..........

thank you, im doing okay but it's still weird to imagine? because i haven't really had anyone close to me (or even semi-close) pass away so it's a very new experience, being in his neighborhood (very close to where i live) and thinking "oh what if i see him in the shop like that day-" before realizing... but god you put it in such a sweet way, im lowkey teary eyed :( i will continue to do my best to keep his legacy alive and honor him through my coaching!!! he created this thing that became so important to me and for that i will be forever thankful. but yes i agree, it means that he brought more meaning to my life and therefor also the girls i coach, and that's such a beautiful thing. it's life, i guess 😭 so hard but also so sweet...

skdjfhdjjf dont worry, i call them "children" to their faces very often even though some are even 16 😁 but to be fair ive known a lot of them since they were nine so to me they're still babies :(( also you being that young and still so smart is so cool and cute aaa

no because i have imagined meeting pepe MANY times and i really really think he would be so sweet about it. very happy that i recognize him and like "aw hey it's okay! no tears please" when i cry 😭 and i think he also would agree to do a silly pose with me for a photo aksjdhfjkdf 😭 i sadly didn't buy a lot of merch BUT (did i mention this already?? then i will be so insanely embarrassed....) we did get me a kimi lotus cap for obvious reasons 🥺 that i still have to this day actually !!! and ofc we took a pic of me next to the lotus truck 🤭 (also realizing now that i wasn't 8, i was 9 or 10 🤣 well well)

oh! then i think we can pretend to be your friend's mum's friend's kids? so we should also be invited?? or maybe we just need to get a job somewhere that has connections and can invite us..... to be fair my dad wrote to dino beganovic's manager or something about sponsoring him just for funsies (idk how u mean to sponsor someone just for fun tho 😶 he was like "what if i get my company's logo on his car and in return we get to come into the paddock once?..."), but then the manager responded with a full deal and stuff and my dad just got scared 😭 but we should keep looking, i'm sure we can find a good sponsor for us 🥰

aaaaa that's so sweet 🥺 i love that 🥺🥺🥺 if you feel like talking further about it, im all ears 🥰

aw dalring i hope you have an even lovelier lovely friday and week and month and year !!! and yes yes pepe's month, i think it will be very good to us all (esp him!!!!!!!) 🥰 i think that maybe the world listened to your ask because the sunset was so gorgeous tonight 🥺 so thank you for that <3<3

[tadpal]

🥀🌿✨

hello isabell!! have i told u that i love your pfp i love to see it it makes me giggle

🥀 what keeps you motivated/helps boost your mood when you’re feeling off?

motivation is a huge weakness for me! if i knew how to boost it i wouldnt be on this app but i have a laundry list miles long about mood boosting and emotional maintenance! ive been in and out of care for bpd and autism for the better part of 8 years now and while i can't rate the professional help (nhs mh 😬) i CAN say that i am currently doing super well in terms of stability. i think for me it's less about Feeling Better and more about breaking the bad you know? temperature shocks are a big thing for me, especially with my heavy emotional weights for temp, so it's a lot of uncomfortable showers, cooling towels on neck, cool water on feet and face, cat baths, hot water bottles, ice creams, going outside. just anything with that like Temperature Shock is going to help. for overwhelming most often going sudden cold (safely) is what works best for me!! resets!

🌿 do you like having plants in your home/yard? do you have any currently?

LOVE THEM!!! when i was living at uni i had 7-9 various houseplants in my room and others scattered in the kitchen halls and bathroom but these days most of them have been claimed by my mom! i have three in my room now! a large succulent a sort of grass and something tall with dark greens and waxy leaves... by those descriptions you can tell im terrible at remembering plant types but im surprisingly not terrible at keeping them alive. idk it mostly just works out

✨ what scents do you have strong memories/associations with?

the nice ones are like orange blossom (aunts perfume who passed, grandmother figure to me, scent never lasted bc of her work so you could only ever smell it if you hugged real tight, calloused hands, bristly hair, miss her ), ocean spray (lived by a beach, leaving the commune for outings, big bright blue, one day we'll get out of here, people on the outside are kind - the systemite kids are kind - i will be able to have friends on the outside, calm, loneliness, laughter), honeysuckle (represents childhood hunger and gentleness and peace and danger, the importance of ritual), lemon blossom (tree by the pool in one of the worst communes we lived in, best lemons ive ever tasted, my aunt maria taught me how to make soap), apple cider vinegar (self sufficiency - making meals for myself too young, fresh vegetables from the local farms, abuelas tomato salads, full stomachs)

but there's also more unpleasant ones just in terms of the scent itself: septic tank in the height of summer (danger, childhood recklessness, the feeling of being trapped, the buzz of the wasps,) the thing that died in the pool over winter (we didn't find it until we cleaned the pool in summer, it smelt mostly of chlorine, we don't know what animal it had been, it's bones were greyer than id expected, my mom cried for a week) and it's dry and the car is leaking (it's the middle of a drought and the old car is leaking, thick black oil onto the drive. there have been three bush fires this week and every time you haul your childhood possessions onto the year and watch the smoke. the smoke clings and clutches and you think about the oil. no one else can smell it but you. it's worse when the fires start when you're already out and you think about all the things that you left inside the home.) the smell of the old car in summer (and then you're inside the car, waiting at the gas station and all around you is the smell of smoke and gasoline and seaweed and leaking. the seat is somehow sticky and sandy all at once. your uncle is talking about leaving forever again.)

i am very much an associator tho you could say anything and id go Oh That Reminds Me. guy who is reminded

[thx-sunsxts-addrxss]

ok i’ll ask. it you need to answer all of them

0: Height

1: Virgin?

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What your last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

I need to know who asked me this. WHY WOULD YOU-

okay fine.

0: 5’2 (no don’t make fun of me, looking at you @aylin-hijabi)

1: I’m 14. Yes I’m a virgin.

2: I think it’s a 6? Idk

3: no I’m 14

4: no I’m 14, again.

5: no.

6: answered! it’s under the tag #loife answers

7: no

8: answered!

9: yep! just one pair of piercings tho

10: answered!

11: my bestest friend in the world is from third grade! she’s in us and I’m in India but the fact we haven’t broken apart-

we only had third and fourth together but we’re still best friends and I love her sm

12: single, but I hope that gets changed by one specific dude

13: uhhhhh pass bc idk I’m just a innocent teenager (kay maybe not that innocent)

14: pass again

15: answered!

16: answered (by accident)

17: answered again

18: pass

19: I despise loud noises so much

20: answered

21: I like that I can speak to a public audience well. It’s really improved from last year, and my friend said it sounds like I know what I’m talking about. And it’s funny she gave the example of this one time I talked really good about a topic (I only had 2 mins to think about it) and I didn’t know what I was talking about honestly. So yeah, that’s great ig.

22: answered

23: it’s amazing actually. I think it’s because we’re seven years apart, so there’s nothing really to fight over, just some things to talk about.

24: answered

25: answered

26: when people make a mess and don’t clean it up properly. Like just sweeping it to the side.

27: answered

28: answered

29: answered

30: that they think they’re encouraging us but they put us down a lot. Like, “ I thought you were better than this” they think it encourages us to better, but it makes us feel ashamed. Mental health, down the drain. Especially to teenagers.

31: it literally says. ‘lmfao. what the fuck’ (it’s from lemon dude guys)

32: the word ‘useless’ nothings useless, you’re just not using it properly. No one’s useless, they have their things they’re good at that you’re neglecting

33: answered

34: I’m not interested in women (I don’t think-) but probably confidence and extrovertism.

35: how thoughtful and attentive they are

36: around North Carolina, New Jersey or Georgia

37: answered

38: I wanted to be a teacher lmao

39: chocolate. Yeah, I’m basic

40: answered

41: answered (I’m pretty sure)

42: chocolate :D

43: uhhh. pass. I don’t find lemon dude sexy, I don’t think lmao

44: FINALLY THE LAST ONE! I THINK IVE ANSWERED THIS :D

all my answered questions are under the tag #loife answers !

anyways. time for me to kill the person who asked this /j

[bubblegumknuckles]

I don't mean to overstep so feel free to ignore this ask but do you really have narcolepsy. Could you tell me more about narcolepsy and how it affects you?

From and ignoramus anon

Hi you arent over stepping, no worries. Sorry for the delay, I have a hard time answering back anybody, and ive been sleeping a ton.

So, when I wrote that I had Narcolepsy in my bio, it was a few months ago & for different health reasons I wasnt able to get the final results of my final sleep study test (4th one.) Narcolepsy was what was most likely, especially since my primary doctor said her mom has narcolepsy & I wasnt even taking about sleeping problems to her, but fatigue was mentioned because I was explaining my symptoms that point towards a few autoimmune disorders….and she asked a few questions & said I sounded exactly like her mom who has Narcolepsy & it took her like 20 years to get diagnosed…. At first i was like nahhhh because the only knowledge I had of it was from tv. She gave me a referral to a sleep doctor but I ignored it for a few months, before doing research because my sleep keeps getting worse.

Then actually going, they dont really believe you at first. Insurance also makes you jump through hoops & i had to wait months each time, &the day of a sleep study, my insurance would finally say Not approved…so id have to reschedule. Its been a huge headache and hassle. I had to prove to the doctor and insurance basically how i dont have sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome or anything else before they will consider Narcolepsy. and even then the test for Narcolepsy is so difficult to pass, if you fail else, then they will diagnose you as Idiopathic Hypersomnia meaning they dont know whats wrong with you. but something is off. thats the official diagnosis, but Narcolepsy and IH are both treated very similar. Oh and theres two types of Narcolepsy, one being the more known one with cataplexy (like fainting and dropping out of nowhere at all times sleeping) & there is N2 that is basically without cataplexy (I dont drop out of nowhere and sleep)

So yeah, the results that finally came out said on some of my naps I fell asleep in 9 minutes & basically the criteria for narcolepsy is so strict it has to be under 8 minutes. i was like….thats pretty close. But nah they wanna use math and average it out and blah blah I dont qualify as technically narcolepy. I got diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomnia instead. I would be more irritated but at least its treated similar or the same. It was noted i have 0% sleep apnea & he said it is very strange that for an adult, I sleep so deeply, like I hit the deepest parts of sleep that usually just babies and children get to. Soooo I tried to get him to think on that….like bro im telling you I sleep that deeply and that much AND still have to continue napping thru the day. I sleep so much. Its impacting my life. And its weirdly gotten worse over the pandemic, altho I have always been like this.

Um sorry Idk if that answered your question bc I wouldve gotten more specific how narcolepsy affects me n stuff. But since I just finally got the official diagnosis of IH instead & its technically not Narcolepsy, i didnt know if u wanted to know more. In my every day life, im probably going to still call it Narcolepsy tbh bc thats what people know a little more about. Theyll be like “oh she really does have a sleeping disorder” does that make sense?

Anyway you can ask more questions if you want:)

[zoethehead]

I posted 784 times in 2022

382 posts created (49%)

402 posts reblogged (51%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zoethehead

@trans-dwightschrute

@inthetags

@beardedmrbean

@tag-that-oc

I tagged 759 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#whump - 86 posts

#meme - 37 posts

#homestuck - 28 posts

#iron maiden - 25 posts

#antihero oc - 23 posts

#ghost bc - 22 posts

#humor - 22 posts

#(wheeze) - 21 posts

#not whump - 19 posts

#demon oc - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#then i'm over here in baking class editing the scene from naked gun where the piano player does a cover o ding dong the witch is dead

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Cardinal Copia/Papa emeritus IV:*Exists*

me:

20 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#4

a lot of people are pissed about Obi Wan Kenobi being Bisexual, I for one; fucking love hearing that he's Bisexual, because that means we have Bisexuality representation by a cool jedi

40 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

#3

so I proceeded to make this today in only a short amount o' time

83 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#2

yeah, so far 2020 has given us hot videogame men, even if some of them happen to be jerks *cough cough* Johnny SilverHand *Cough cough*

143 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sight whump related to passing out/waking up

this is just something that i felt like writin'/pinpointing about

-the black blur around their visions that slowly becomes more transparent as they wake up, or have it grow darker and close in on their sight as they black out

-blurry vision as their sight either falters or adjusts

-their vision starting off as colorless, before the colors fade in

-blurred vision caused by pain

-the ground being the only sight besides some humans

-double vision while passing out or waking up

-the sky growing dark as their vision fades to black

267 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ventoaureomii]

redoing this

about me :

my name is miisha but i also get nicknamed as miimi , mii and miishmish , my pronouns r she/her yes i have dark red hair and pronouns ,, and i’m 🧡🤍💗. my main interest is jjba and my fav is obviously narancia , i have adhd so it’s my hyperfixation and i will talk ab it constantly . i also a few mental health diagnosises due to my trauma so my blog is fully a safe place for anyone suffering like me . usually i only shitpost , hornypost or jjbapost but sometimes i will mention that stuff as a joke pls dont be uncomfortable it’s how i cope bc it’s FUNNY also pls laugh at it

leo sun , aries moon , leo rising , leo venus , scorpio lilith

notable stuff : i have bpd , adhd and psychosis spec and suffer w ana since i was a child on and off and it’s currently back sadly . i’ve had anger issues since a child and had to have years of counselling and anger management to counter it . psychosis / psychosis spec isn’t psychopathy at all PLEASE educate urself on differences . i talk ab my trauma and mental health past so tw for : sa trauma , grief , sh , suicide attempt , grooming , substance abuse for me and others , daddy issues in many ways?? idk how else to describe it without trauma dumping bc it’s deep😭😭

��—————————————————————————

jojos :

my main interest is jojos bizarre adventure so i have to do a big section on it:

fav characters :

1. gyro !! : love him SO much

2. mista + narancia + fugo : they are all me esp fugo

3. caesar : my first fav jojo character, gotta stay loyal

4.

5. iggy : love that dog

honorable mention : rohan , kakyoin , avdol , okuyasu

fav part : part 5 obviously and part 7 bc sbr peak , but also part 2 , idc if there is no stands the hamon stuff in that part was cool asf

fav stand : purple haze bc fugo not being able to control it to represent his anger resonated to me so hard and it made me UPSET but also killer queen bc looks like a cat , pet cat plant inside , BOMBS😁 but also golden experience requiem bc wow

fav jojo : ,, what if i told u my fav jojos were giorno and jolyne , you bitches are sexist bc jolyne is amazing and u just hate her bc you’re all gay and wanna see buff men . i’m 🧡🤍💗 and wanna see a pretty woman so we even out but jolyne hate is not wanted i love her not just bc she’s a woman too . ppl who think giorno is boring can’t talk bc they have the personality of a wet paper towel he’s so likable and golden experience requiem is one of the coolest stands ever

fav jobro : gyro + caesar , my favs zeppelis i’m a zeppeli wife

fav side character : obviously narancia , fugo , mista

——————————————————————————

other interests :

im tradgoth but i listen to a lot of music , a LOT , i’m almost constantly listening to music bc it helps me function , i like kpop unfortunately but i love sm genres but i’ll start at kpop bc it’s most long . my fav group and main ult is shinee but i also ult nct and loona and my biases are : key , jinki , taeyong , yuta , hendery , kun , jeno , sion , heejin , haseul and hyeju. i also listen to hyperpop (dorian electra , charli xcx , sophie kind not cringe kind!!) , metal , rap , vkei 💗💗 obviously goth , and very occasionally pop . some of my fav artists are literally any goth music it’s my main , dorian electra , charli xcx , sophie , mejibray , dadaroma , kendrick lamar , ken carson , lil uzi vert , amy winehouse , dio , king crimson (ha jojo ref but they’re good) , victoria monet , megan thee stalion but obviously also artists of my other genres . but don’t support any wack shit ppl did

ive always loved music , i used to produce music w my cousin when i was younger and he also got me into bands like slipknot , mcr and more when i was only 7-8 , i’ve produced edm but i also know how to play electric guitar , he taught me when i was 8 and i’ve played since . i’ve also been rapping since i was young and when my (other) cousin passed away i made it a mission to be as good at rapping as i could for some reason bc i used to show him me rapping . i am very passionate ab music

i love horror content like my fav movies are saw movies , pearl , x , martyrs , terrifier , tcsm , sinister . i also like horror games like outlast . i also rly like youtube analog horrors and args , k really like greylock , veta carnae and lacey flash games . i like researching deepest obscure parts of the internet as well as obscure general knowledge like tibettan sky funerals and mother 3 youtube channel and the garfeild iceburg chart

i love alice in borderland , all of us are dead and the high and low movies , my fav non jojos content

——————————————————————————

interact ily :

- jojos fans !! (and marry me)

- goths :)

- anyone funny and nice

- anyone who wants to

dni list :

- jojos haters ,, ewww

- jolyne haters (sexists usually)

- “jojos has an ugly artstyle” (smd)

-will upstate in morning ohine dying

keeping that bc it’s funny

- basic dni stuff like racists , homophobes etc

- kpop haters

- anyone pro ana or mia

- bodyshamers

- goth fetishizers (irs ok if we’re ur type just don’t fetishize)

- goths that don’t align w the politics

- bpd sexualisers / fetishizers

[unsafecoma]

YAYAYYA i wanted to do madamemiz's ask game about the DCA because i llike them 🫶 UNDER THE CUT !! ! !! ! !!!

how did you get here?

my hyperfix on the dca started earrrly january this year because i played hw2 and was promptly swept off my feet and ive been sick over them since. id played it before , but started playing again bc i wanted too 100% the game! oh if only id known !!

2. why these characters in particular? what was the hook for you?

originally it was Sun that hooked me onto both of them. hes just so silly!! and such a prissy bitch!! and i love it!! plus i love the idea of 2 separate ids in one body, thats always fun to mess with 😋

3. how long have you been here?

since early january of this year!! though, im not SUPER active in the fandom itself. i just silently enjoy fanart/fics , and VERY RARELY draw and post on my art bog. im not a big participator in fandom itself, im perfectly comfy just watching.

4. have you actually played fnaf sb?

NO. and i do not plan to. the game is too buggy to pay 40 bucks for it, plus i really dont wanna give scott anymore money (fuck you scott cawthon i hate you scott cawthon a million plagues upon you and your life scott cawthon) so ill pass. im perfectly fine with just watching videos.

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

THIS POST!! i love vocaloid, and i love the dca, and whats better than combining the two? i was especially proud of myself bc these were animations, which is something i NEEEVERRR to, so id say i was pretty damn happy with these!!

6. what's your favorite sort of art or fic? what genre/flavor/style?

ive still yet to actually read any fics abt the dca (im in the process of reading one about djmm rn <3 its so good i love it so much <333) but im a sucker for angst w/a happy end (the heart wants what the heart wants, and who am i to deny ?)

7. what's your favorite au?

i like aquatic aus for the dca!!!!! i love seeing all the different designs ppl give them ... i also rlly like cowboy/western aus too :)

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of?

not yet, but ive absolutely thought about it!! maybe one day ... (for now though, im happy with my silly little technician s/i hehe)

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I LOVE THEM I THINK THEYRE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY i dont really see them as scary from looks alone tbh, like MAYBE moon but it'd have to be rlly dark so it was just his glowing eyes visible. other than that they are just silly billys cutie patooties to me. id pinch their cheeks if i could (i mean i know u can but. ykwim)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had?

im kept sane by both my own brain's constant thoughts abt these robots, and also the art and writing made by other fans!! i 🫶 images.

11. be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

:( i GUESS sun, if i HAD to choose, only bc Moon's the one with the virus. it feels so wrong to separate them. you wound me.

12. thoughts on eclipse?

I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! i hc that eclipse isnt one whole robot, but its a state of being where sun and moon are both comfortably, equally in control of the body. so like ... in a WAY they could seem blended into one whole ai, but theyre both still in there, and have moments of one overtaking the other, while still as "eclipse".

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

I feel like pre glitch Sun was juuust starting to get a bit overworked and burnt out, like right before the virus (and afterwards, it jsut got worse and worse). i think the DCA are genuinely good at taking care of kids, they just slip up often and arent absolutely perfect at it (unlike how they would be, if they were actually made to be caretakers and not theater animatronics). sometimes Sun is too loud, having to constantly remind himself to lower his voice when around more meek kids in the daycare.

he definitely has his moments where he needs to correct himself and remember that he is taking care of young kids, but all in all, i feel like Sun was pretty good at taking care of the kids (much better than he was when he was first moved to the daycare, since i can imagine he was VERY, VERY BITTER about being moved from the theater, but its not like being a theater animatronic was synonymous with despising children, so he wouldn't HATE them or anything yk ??)

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

YKNOW I WONDER does moons voice sound like that bc of the virus, or is that just his voice ? nonetheless, i feel like Moon was good with his job, and maybe a bit better than Sun, only bc i feel like handling naptime would come with less struggles than daytime activities.

Moon was probably so much more gentle, less hunched over and 'scary-looking' when he moved, and rather than punishing kids for not sleeping he just ... actually helped them sleep. yknow ? whether its holding and rocking some of the younger kids to help them sleep better, or maybe one of the kids has something on their mind that wont let them sleep, i feel like Moon was actually really good at his job.

im firm on believing the DCA is actually good at taking care of kids due to what cassie says about the AR sun/moon plushies!! theyre good at their job!!! to a degree LOLLLL

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter?

i interpret them as two separate beings in one body!! i like this interpretation, it feels more fun to work with and is oddly cathartic? emotional? interesting? theres just so much emotion that comes with sharing a body with an entire other identity, knowing that you and them are tightly knit together, whether you want to be or not, because no matter what, you have them, and they have you, and you're stuck with one another. and yes, you and them are different, but you bleed into one another at some parts, at some angles the yellow and blue smudge, and sometimes you struggle to see where 'you' starts, and 'they' begin.

i love love love thinking about how they experience sharing a body with one another, how they maneuver the world and their thoughts. ITS SO FUN!!! THEY MAKE ME SICK.

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

WAITER!!! WAITER!! MORE PRISSY BITCH SUN PLEASE!!! ill literally never ever get enough of it.

17. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

this is ENTIRELY just me, but seeing the dca act all suave and sexy feels mischaracterizing. this tweet literally captures how i feel perfectly

like OB VI OUS LY have fun and do what ur little heart desires, never ever am i gonna bash someone for DOING THAT, but whenever i see them drawn sexily and with abs or anything like that it just makes me wonder if we have the same character in mind. you dont get them like i do. we are playing with our touys in different corners.

18. anything you're looking forward to?

THE MOON NIGHTLIGHT. i have the sun one already and i NEED the moon one so he isnt alone :( i hope they fix up the coloring on the moon one, bc the dark bit looks so weird and messy (im assuming it only looks like that since it was the first look at him, but still!!! i think they should just make him all white, and not make the NIGHT LIGHT dark in some areas, lol???)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

this is one of those rare times where i DO think i would get along with them, or at least Sun!! i feel like id definitely be super duper anxious first meeting them, like the enthusiasm levels are a bit jarring, but i really do feel like i could get along with Sun (and maybe Moon ... if this is pre-virus, then more likely, but if its while Moon has the virus .. .. . . . . .. .. .. .. mauybe.)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

if i think about the dca and their room and state of neglect for too long i get sick. i get insane and curl into a little ball like a roly poly. they make me so sick. i hate them i need to bite them.

also genderfunny aroace dca forever and ever. ok? 🫶

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

long ranty post ahead abt my own experiences w learning instruments and playinf sports

dude yknow what i miss but also dont. playing sports n playing instruments. bc ive done quite a few different of each just in the past. like i was actually a Big football kid when i was around 5 but hated the club i went 2 bc i was the only girl and basically couldnt play bc even at fucking 5 i wasnt treated as an equal player. but also i didnt rlly mind that it was more so how aggressive it was and i didnt like being pushed around n kicked n shit. and i also played cricket which i liked i just timed it badly bc it was around a year where my immune system just fuckin gave up on me and i was sick like every other week and it out me off cricket bc i always felt so guilty for not being able 2 play it that often. n i also played tag rugby which i loved i just hated my coach she was an asshole she made these like 9 yr old kids do some baddd shit. like one time we played a match against another school and it was a cold wet rainy muddy day and i had played a couple times only and was already in so much pain and i went to her fucking in tears bc i had so many scrapes and i could barely feel my hands from the cold and every time i was passed the ball it literally hurt so fucking much and she ucking LAUGHED at me and told me 2 shut up and deal w it bc i agreed 2 play tag rugby so i was gonna do it under any conditions. like i wanted 2 kill her in that moment and i fucking shouldve i remember that moment so fucking clearly bc it was the absolute worst for me i could barely fucking do school work for ages after that bc my hands hurt so fucking much from not being allowed a goddam break when i was 9 years old. anyways yea sports is fun tho its just unfortunate situations. and i rlly wanna do cricket again or atleast like rounders or smt. man americans r actually right w this one tho baseball sounds so much better than rounders rounders sounds like a baby sports baseball sounds like. cool. anyways also w instruments it was a similar sorta thing. i played piano 4 likeee 3 or 4 years and basically picked up nothing lol other than basic music theory but thats expected bc i was like 7 or 8 on average . i also played the flute for another like 2 or 3 years which i was better at and actually played at concerts n shit but i quit that too bc i hated the stress i got from it bc i hated practicing and i hated the structure of my lessons and i hated my schools wind band i was forced 2 join and fucking guilt tripped not to leave bc i was the best player or w/e even tho i fucking hated that bc it put so much pressure on me at like 10 yrs old bc i did all the loud melody bits so if i made a mistake everyone would notice and i hated it. i also tried the cello and the guitar 4 like a month each which i also hated. now im explaining all this i kinda sound like a rich snob. well my initial point was gonna b how sports and music didnt feel 2 different. like ill use tag rugby and the flute 4 my example bc i did those things at around the same time and they were the ones i cared abt the most. but like. it felt like there was a sorta path drawn out for me in both cases. sometimes w the sheet music and sometimes w the playing field. altho i didnt know how 2 sight read and i am also not very observant so u might think oh ok i followed the path drawn out 4 me. but in both cases it felt like i was winging it int he same way. 4 the flute i always wrote the note names (and had many meltdowns over being forced 2 play w sight reading even tho i didnt wanna learn 2 sight read bc i could always just write the note names) but id write it out and instead of like. reading ahead. i just played what was in front of me. and it felt like each time i played it was like. a match or smth and i was just holding out and holding out and skipping over mistakes until i got to the end. and id never plan out the route id take first it was always just my reaction time i relied on which to be fair was not a good idea bc i have dogshit reaction time. but in tag rugby id do essentially the same. when i was on the offensive team, id usually be in front since i was good at avoiding being touched which i realise now is probably a result of my parents bc i was like constantly ready 2 avoid bein hit n shit. but i was always in front but i could never just see the whole playing field so i focused on like. exactly what was directly around me and just depended on my reaction time to avoid being tagged out. and idk i was just thinking. the exhaustion i felt after playing the flute for so long and never being taught how to breathe properly only that i should and the exhaustion i felt after playing sports for so long and never being told how to improve and only what i did wrong and the exhaustion i always felt after being in my house 4 so long and never being told what i was supposed to do and only how everything i was doing was wrong and. yea. connections between childhood trauma and playing music and playing sports.

[smireyac]

new year, same post

so... 2022 huh?

i didn't even write a reflection post last year (well i tried but i never finished writing it) which i'm kinda really sad about because i really like having these snapshots of where i am at in my life every year... and i feel like i'm missing a year! because i am! so while i can't do a whole reflection of 2021, i can do my best and that's the best anyone can do

so 2021 was the start, crawling out of the hellscape that was 2020... in terms of overall quality, 2021 was a major improvement from the previous year. to make things easier, first i'll go thru what i actually accomplished on my list of goals i made at the end of 2020:

☑️ read new books: my goal was 10 and i read 8, three of which were comics/graphic novels and one was a road trip guide book? so technically i read more than before

☑️ watch new shows/movies: i made a letterboxd to keep track of what i watched instead of the notebook idea i had and i watched 48 movies/tv shows !!! wowie that's pretty good i never counted that out b4 :D

☑️ listen to new music: my spotify wrapped had very much different music than previous years so i did the dang thing too ...it uh... got flooded by OM music cuz i had a phase in the summer but other than that its all pretty diverse !

☑️ eat new food: i had kbbq for the first time in 2021 so i think that counts?

☑️ go on a road trip/visit some place ive never been before/go to a club: so i planned a pretty spontaneous trip to LA cuz i saw an ad on Instagram for a city pop night at a club in DTLA... i thought it was a rare thing (turns out it ain't lol) so i got my friends to go and it was really fun and i knocked these 3 things out in one go (tho the road trip one is a little ehh bc we didn't make any stops, we just drove ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) bc i've never been to little tokyo and it was in a club! so check!!

so as far as goals go that's pretty good! other notable highlights of the year include:

⭐ i passed my drivers test (after failing the first time lol) and got a car that i love so dang much!

⭐ tried dating (the first time) and it didn't get far lol (that's on me)

⭐ karaoke night after not seeing people in person for over a year

⭐ played d&d in-person again finally

⭐ HELLA MEGA TOUR!! THAT WAS TIGHT AF 10/10 would recommend

⭐ saw lindsay and kaveh at a book signing event that was pretty cool !! (still have to read the book lol;;)

so yeah ! it was pretty great, all things considered... i think around this time last year covid cases were surging and things were feeling bad again so my perspective of the year was tainted by that cloud but looking back, i think i had a pretty good run...

i had made another, separate doc as a kinda goal list ? but i never finished it either lmao but i did put 3 things on it:

🌠 read more (surprise surprise)

🌠 write something

🌠 join a club at school

i said 2021 would be the year of new and i think i accomplished that

SO 2022 HUH??

thats what this whole thing was supposed to be about lol

lotta stuff happened... started off strong by getting covid (lol), went to big bear for the first time, technically saw snow (on the ground) for the first time, saw remi TWICE in ONE YEAR, tried dating again (still didn't get very far), saw ORI AGAIN FINALLY, hung out with pals A LOT, ate good food, got really (back) into comics this year??, worked full time at the library this summer, got over my stupid crush FINALLY, went to 3 conventions - 1 of which being COMIC CON... anD OH YEAH I GOT PROMOTED!! pretty accomplished i would say

as far as my goals from last year i actually accomplished something!! and hey 2 outta 3 ain't bad ;^)

i reached my reading goal with 13/12 !! granted 5 of them were graphic novels again but i stuck with my book club (kinda;;) and read some stuff!! i started a lot more books than i finished this year but i want to push myself harder next year (this year)!! my want-to-read list on GoodReads is 500+ and that hasn't even been updated recently!! i gotta step my game up man,, i think i decided i want to try to be an editor someday so i gotta go for it!!

did i write something this year??? in fact i fucking did!! i wrote fanfiction even!! something i srsly never thought i would actually accomplish... and i started a first real draft for J+M and got thru most of the first "season" of that!! so that's cool!! i wanna write more!! i found this writing tracker like halfway thru the year and was trying to add to it retroactively but it was hard so i don't know exactly how many words i wrote this year BUT it's more than 40k!! so WOW!! I'll keep better track this year so we can know fr fr

if 2021 was the year trying new things, 2022 seemed to be the year of getting used to the new normal bc surprise!! covid is still around!! but ig it'll be endemic now instead of a pandemic bc we couldn't fucking eradicate it 🙄 whatever...

the last couple months of 2022 kinda painted the whole year a somber color but looking back, i can see that i had a really good time for the most part... i hope 2023 will be nice :^)

SO... GOALS:

🎆 read more!! let's keep the ball rolling! 12 more!! once a month!!! and i'm not gonna add comics unless i've read a real book with words first!!!!

🎆 write more!! no goals let's just see what happens :^) i hope that maybe some fandom interaction will motivate me bc i love attention and praise!!! also my secret writing project 👀

🎆 apply to transfer to university next year!! this was supposed to happen this year but... shit happened yk

🎆 do stuff with friends!! gotta keep it up bb: NYC, hot springs, see snow, MKE??, LA

🎆 make new friends?? perhaps??? 👀 idk!!!

i will end this post with all the movies i'm super fucking pumped to see this year: M3GAN, the mario movie, the D&D movie, the BARBIE movie!!, new transformers movie??, blue beetle movie, SPIDERVERSE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

it'll be a good year for me for movies ❤️

here's to 2023!! 🥂

[wheezingghoulbois]

i am in awe of how hyper-specific ur disney knowledge is that you KNOW that the sword in the stone attraction is right next to that particular carousel. like ma'am ... howw. also you know what that carousel is called??? but it's just horses???? HOW?? i bow before our disney sovereign - gay shoes anon

alskfjaslkfjalksfjalksfj okay there’s only 1 carousel ride in disneyland (and one in California Adventure, it’s sister park but its a toy story western theme so it looks VERY different), and disneyland’s is called King Arthur’s Carousel, hence the sword in the stone thing right in front of it! but i know where ryan is in that photo just because like... okay the line for the ride wraps around the side of the carousel, as well as the fact its smack in the middle of fantasyland so theres a LOT of foot traffic so he can’t of been on the sides of the ride, And theres a clearing FOR photo shoots right next to the sword in the stone, so... that’s where he is💖 i also know disneyland bricks... and floors.... dont ask alskfjalksjfklaksf. i have literally probably around 500+ trips to disney under my belt like disneyland hates me bc im the passholder who they dont make money off of bc i USE the shit out of my pass and dont buy merch or food unless i have a gift card or im like starving. i appreciate ur awe but truly it just comes from me literally going to the park Too Much alfkjalksfjlaksf. genuinely i could walk around disney blindfolded and be fine. i have definitely helped lost families find their way to attractions, bathrooms, meet and greets etc lmao.and have helped folks score those rise of the resistance aka the big star wars ride boarding passes bc some ppl just Don’t Know u need the app and to have ur tickets linked and have to be there AT park opening and have to get onto the app a certain way to boost ur chances like it’s difficult lmao (also That is why ryan hasn’t ridden rise yet like he’s mention he tried but failed bc yeah it takes prep, knowledge, and luck lmao)

[omegasmileyface]

ok im gonna put this in a seperate post so hopefully i can keep getting responses but I THINK, from what ive seen, that

a lot of people's perception of tenma's narrative purpose is fixed around him being a father. as in he's there to represent a failed, or imperfect, or distant father figure for atom. perhaps to contrast with ochanomizu.

(now bear in mind what im about to say is based off the 50s/60s and 80s series since those are the ones tezuka was directly involved with, and ive never seen the 60s anime or the japanese dub of the 80s anime. i have, however, read all of the original and 80s manga that are translated in the omnibus collection, and seen all of the 80s english dub that's available on tubi)

i personally always got the vibe that tezuka's intention with him had very little to do with him being a father. i mean obviously he is a father, and that's very important to the relationship he has to the creation of atom, but i think that part of his character- and most of his character to begin with- is pretty contained within origin story territory. he's an inciting character. (i saw a response on that post which said much the same thing btw!) if anything his fatherhood is important with respect to tobio. he makes atom, and raises him, because he wants to be a good father to tobio by "keeping him alive" after he died from his gift. (who the fuck gives a car to an 8 year old.) when he was treating atom as a kid, he had no intention of making himself into atom's father so much as making atom into his son. which, like, while it's a shitty thing for a father to do, it is a perfectly valid relationship for a character to have with fatherhood. I would say that at this point he's a (bad) father character. but by the time he sells atom to the circus, he doesn't care anymore. when he notices that atom isn't growing, he doesn't try to make him grow (presumably he'd be able to do that, or at least try! he did design the kid after all.) like a demanding, idealistic father, he instead just kicks him out and calls him a robot freak. he does NOT see atom as his son, not by this point. atom was not, to him, a bad son he was trying to turn into a son, he was a not-son he was trying to turn into a son, and he didn't pass the test. now he's just a freak. hoshie's atached, but tenma doesn't give a shit anymore. the robot he made didn't do its job, which was to masquerade as his son. now, for a while atom does see tenma as his father who abandoned him, but by the time ochanomizu rescues him from the circus, he's over it. tenma was just a period of his life, much like hamegg, and now he's moving on to a new one where he gets to go to school and hang out with funny old men.

it's worth mentioning the (english dub of the) 80s series (from what ive heard the japanese version is a little different? but i havent seen it yet) in which tenma does the same deal of trying to fit atom into being the perfect son, but when atom gets stolen (he's not sold in this one!) tenma is seen, deeply distressed and at least a little sorry, looking for him. but then, even when atom becomes sort of a public figure, tenma is never seen again. and atom doesn't mention him again (unless he does in the finale atlas episodes?? i dont remember that but it could have happened and i cANT CHECK BC THEY TOOK IT OFF TUBI AND I HAVE YET TO GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE sobbing.)

but back to the manga, the vast majority of astro boy comics don't even mention tenma. they take place after, and do not call back to, his period of pretending atom was tobio. there are only a few comics where tenma makes a return (the blue knight saga, the greatest robot on earth, and that one with the bunny come to mind) and he generally says nothing about atom that implies he thinks of him as a son. barely even as a creation, really, mostly just some kid he knows. he tends to show up wearing sunglasses, when asked where he's been claimed to have denounced the world, offer some help (repairs, upgrades, etc) to atom and then leave. he might spy on him too but enh when asked, in the greatest robot, whether he wants to stay and meet uran and ochan, he denies the offer, insisting he still doesn't want a settled, public presence. he disappears back into the ether. atom sometimes shows signs of having missed him and being excited to see him again, but accepting how brief it is and the life he has now, kind of like you might get excited to see an uncle you don't hear from for a few years at a time.

the exception is the blue knight saga, in which he's treated way more as a villain than as a neutral backstory/cameo character. he's approached as "the one man who could repair atom from this... doctor tenma." and then he like tortures a guy to force him to use his time travel ability for his own gain (he also kills his future self i think. classic tenma move) and also, the main thing here, tries to take atom back and make him do evil for him. it backfires, and evil atom doesnt give a shit about tenma any more than he gives a shit about any other human (did... did tenma forget he's human?), but tenma's goal was control. i don't know if id call this a fatherhood plot. his main intention was, rather than treating atom as a son, to have atom under his power. again, while shitty parenting, not an invalid relationship for a character to have with fatherhood (cough cough vlad masters cough), but iirc it's sort of unclear whether his intention is to be a shitty father or to be the owner of a weapon. maybe both.

(the blue knight depiction of tenma is almost certainly the main inspiration for his role in the 2003 series. it perfectly reflects the "king of robots" plot, and his intention via shadow of having control over that king. the 03 series takes this version of tenma, where he's literally evil and wants atom under his thumb, and spreads it out so it's present throughout the whole series, rather than just this one plot out of many, and then adds an emotional angle of his relationship with tobio's death, and thus fatherhood, for the sake of adding complexity to his character)

and i think the 03 series and the way it uses this as a constant is the reason so many people see tenma's role as that of a (bad) father. in the 03 series he has SO MUCH more presence, and he absolutely is a father in that series. if you asked 03 atom about tenma he'd be like "tenma! my father! he's always trying to take me back in as his son but he doesn't realize that things have changed since tobio..." or whatever and if you asked 50s he'd be like "oh, my creator? he tried to raise me like his son once but that didn't work out. i see him from time to time but he seems to be up to his own stuff now." he's like morally-grey hamegg. like skunk but with a single failed adoption plot. (here's the tldr) and since so many current astro boy fans like the 2003 show as their main media, i can see why this concept would permeate down to the base idea of tenma in general. i fucking love the 2003 show! and i love what they did with tenma's character. but i feel like it's important to note that, with the exception of the blue knight arc, he is a wildly different character in that reboot than osamu tezuka wrote him to be. i feel like it's important to keep tezuka's message in mind, which from my understanding was a lot more personal/familial in his original work than in later reboots, and was more regarding the wider everyday trials and tribulations of trying to get organic and artificial life to get along.

ps id also like to mention the relationship between tenma and ochan. ochan also doesnt really care about tenma in the original works, and really only knows him as "that crazy minister before me who spent the whole budget on this good boy and then left him to rot". tenma only knows ochan as the guy who replaced him. i feel like a:tb's influence may have helped tenma feel more important (this time with regards to ochanomizu) than he might really be

[tofindloveinpoison]

Iconic Fanfictions ive read two years ago and what I currently remember of them:

I will premise this by saying that these fanfics were famous only in certain specific niches of the internet, and that when i say that a work is badly written or i critique it in anyway it?s just my opinion from what i vaguely remember, whihch might not be correct. 

Fanfics below the cut: filthy lucre, asotm, twist and shout, the hat and lung fics, anatomy of a fall, throam, unholyverse. feelfree to add what you remember of “famous fanfics” you’ve read.

tw for mentions of: sexual assault, violence, animal abuse, pedophilia and some other upsetting topics. 

The Milk Fic

Oh my God this was bad but not nearly as extreme as other fics. An iconic and shocking read i do not recommend, but if you really want to read it it will not ruin your life, your month at most. 

From what i remember at least the sex was consensual aaaaaaand i don’t remember any other good/decent aspects about it. 

Very famous, a lot of ppl have read it, gerard way said it was “well-written” but honestly it wasn’t.

( original? ryden version) 4/10 because of lack of actual crimes.

Filthy Lucre

So bad i don’t remember the plot. They’re prostitutes i think? there definitely was an abusive relationship and the sex scenes were so bad i had to skip all of them, meaning i read the whole thing in half an hour.

Really terrible, they don’t end up toghether and that’s the only interesting element. I recomend no one reads this unless you are literally dying of boredom.

(frerard version) 1/10 because its a completed work, but at what cost

Twist and Shout

This is considered one of the good ones and you know what? for iconic fanfiction standards it’s not bad at all, decently-written with actual characters that don’t feel, like most fanfic characters, like bad ooc versions of the original.

How about the overcomplicated plot tho? I don’t remember a thing except for the homophobia (its set in the 50s-60s), the war, the Elvis songs, one cute sad beach scene and one of the protagonists dying of aids. Maybe they also watch star trek,idk; lots to unpack. 

If you want to suffer and you have lots of free time i recommend it, i skipped most of the sex scenes but there is an actual plot so that was not a problem.

(original Destiel version) 8/10 bc I don’t remember how they handled the aids thing but it made me uncomfortable, might be just bc of the upsetting subject matter but i don’t remember

The Hat Fic

DO NOT READ THIS THING. Go read the milk fic if you want weird but not this one please. A milk enema is NOTHING. Contains animal abuse and i don’t remember how consensual the whole thing was.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE TO THIS DAY I FEEL SICK WRITING THIS. There is a whole subset of early phanfiction centered on being as disgusting and upsetting as possible and i think this started it.

I higly doubt anyone got off on this but still the possibility unsettles me.

(original phan version )  -8233983743764346/10 should be illigal to talk about it. We should all agree to Damnatio Memoriae this thing.

A splitting of the Mind

Some people insist on treating this as one of the good iconic fics but it’s bad. 

So bad its actually an interesting read if you feel like analizing some text, trying to see what is so appealing about it, despite its evident flaws.

The age gap is 19-16 so not as bad as the Other Iconic mcr Fanfic About Doves that i did not read bc from what i remember it was basically pedophilia/grooming but i might be wrong. God the bar is so low

Portrayal of mantal illness and trauma was truly a shitshow, the writing was not great but also not horrible. The sexual assault elements upset me greatly but it might be just bc of the subject matter

pros: unreliable narrator done decently, ray toro’s character saw the future looking in cereal, characters are characters and not merely names (not to be confused with actual good characterization), nothing else.

(original frerard version) 5/10 for the effort honestly, but i do not recommend this unless you are mentally ready for some heavy topics handled poorly.

The Lung Fic

This was written with the goal of shocking the reader, in the same vein as all hat fic/ milk fic copycats.

 Should be more upsetting, given it contains gore, pedophilia and a bunch of other disgusting madness (maybe mpreg?), but it just reads as a fanfiction taboo list.

Not worth reading at all, clearly intentionally designed to shock and disgust to the point where it’s obvious.

0/10 i don’te remember which version, irrelevant, don’t waste your time

Anatomy of a fall

Contains ghosts, high school au, possibly resurrection or death, idk.

I don’t remember this being particularly offensive in any way, but its been a long time. Then again i did not read the sex scenes so it might contain necrophilia and i wouldn’t know. (i checked and no necrophilia, just “weird supernatural sex”)

is it well written? no, but it’s not outragiously badly-written. Is it funny sometimes? yes.

 In the context of this list, this might be a good one, in any other context probably not. I might be biased bc i love ghost stories in general and this one does not contain sexual assault if i remember correcly. (The bar is soooo low)

(original? frerard version) 7/10 bc ghosts and funny aND IT HAS ILLUSTRATIONS (vietnamese translation available)

 The Heart Rate of a Mouse

Good but not in the classical meaning of the word. It contains some Hot TakesTM on human sexuality, substance abuse and unhealthy relationship(s).

Its set in the 70s so the homophobia is there and she is thriving. Wonderful internalized homophobia, really 10/10 for that.

The sex and the plot sometimes intersect, putting me in the uncomfortable position of having to  read smut or not knowiong what is going on (0/10 ).

Well written for the genre (=beloved fanfictions that are rarely redeemable); characters are original and flawed, even interesting sometimes.

The plot is three pubblished books worth of plot available for free on the internet and that is a blessing. I suggest reading this as if all the characters are OCs and you found this book forgotten on the train and decided to read it. 

But is it actually good as a story? idk its a lot honestly, if you have to quarantine for 14 days bc of covid and you don’t have anything to study, this will fill at least 4 full days of reading.

(original version)8/10 bc it has everithing but its still not a masterpiece of modern fanfic literature sorry

Unholyverse

Contains Demons, priests, scarfs, exorcisms(affectionate), vergin mary tatoos and much more. Not as carefully written as throam or tas, but it still makes it as one of the good  fanfics solely for the cool factor.

It would be so cool if this was better written and a comicbook or a grafic novel with original characters.( I skipped all the sex scenes bc they made me uncomfy, as usual so idkwhat was going on there)

If there was anything extremely upsetting about this one i forgot about it (i checked: they say “ warnings for religious themes, pain, trauma, blood, torture and death”). There is a lot of plot, its not even just one fic its a whole serie. 

Great for passing the time, I forgot most of it 7/10 for the demons (original version)