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max--phillips · 1 year

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Genesis - Chapter 3

*Shows up 2 years and 3 months late with Starbucks* lmao

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Pairing: Ezra & gn!reader (I'll update this if it changes, I'm not 100% positive where their relationship is going to go at the moment)

Warnings: In line with the previous chapters, Dragonfly is processing a lot. Angst, loss, grief, self-doubt.

Summary: You assist Ezra in his search for cinder violet. A surprise storm rolls in. Ezra asks you some questions.

Words: 4.5k

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

You closed your eyes and focused on the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. You focused on the smell of the salt water and sea air. The feeling of the sand beneath your knees. You wanted to cry, but your body wouldn’t let you. You clutched the plaque to your chest. Words couldn’t describe the mixture of feelings overwhelming you.

You made it.

You heard sand crunching as Ezra approached you. It then stopped.

“I personally knew every last person on board that ship,” you said, quietly, eyes still closed. “All 79 of them. I knew their hopes and dreams for the future, their damn favorite color.”

“Sounds to me like you were a good leader, then,” Ezra said.

There was a moment of quiet. You chose not to respond to his comment. “Anthony. Susanna. Blair. Desmond.” You took a deep breath, and opened your eyes, looking over at Ezra. “Chiara. Stacey. Lily-Grace. Kristina. Marlene. Ariella. Mohammod. Harlow. Cheyanne.” You pulled the plaque away from your chest and looked at it. “Lleyton. Ayisha. Tahmina. Connah. Abida. Missy. Danielle. Safah. Poppie. Beverley.” You began to stand, slowly, still recounting names. “Luka. Zahid. Alejandro. Prince. Jena. Salahuddin. Harris. Brent. Milo. Neve.” You turned slightly towards the ocean, and began walking. “Lexi-Mae. Humzah. Rebecca. Waseem. Raisa. Tania. Mina. Cillian. Rick. Reya.” You approached where the sand was wet as the waves rolled in. “Kaydee. Fenton. Isabella. Rachel. Olaf. August. Kacey. Tahlia. Reanne. Andrew.” Ezra followed you, stopping next to you as you stood there, shoes getting wet. “Amy. Alex. Micheal. Matt. Sarah. Dale. Shyam. Adela. Catrin. Aviana. Mallory. Ronnie. Hashir. Felix. Zishan. Kobie. Brenden. Kelsea. Wiktor. Lula. Tyrese. Ayyan. Ricky. Akeel. Zakk. Zahia.”

You looked out at the horizon, dotted distantly with rocks and other islands. You looked at the plaque. Then, in one fluid motion punctuated with a grunt of effort, you threw the plaque as hard as you could into the ocean. It plunged into the water several yards away.

“I don’t know if you believe in such things, but if you do, I’m sure your team is looking to you from beyond with pride, knowing at least one of you got here,” Ezra offered.

“I don’t know, either,” you mumbled in response. “But I hope you’re right.”

You stood there for a few more long moments before Ezra turned and began walking towards the tree line behind you. You took a few more seconds to turn and follow suit. It felt like your consciousness stayed standing at the water, though, your movements almost not your own. Nothing felt real. Perhaps you, too, died on that ship and this was all some bizarre cryostasis dream your brain was having in a fit of activity before the end. Logically, you knew that wasn’t the case, but the grief and anxiety and confusion you were feeling were more than enough to override logical thought.

Your attention came back into focus as Ezra began speaking.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to get to work and not push our chances of getting caught in a storm. We’re looking for a bright purple flower, and where there’s one, there’s plenty more,” he said. “Let’s go look, shall we? Do mind any roots and vines across the ground, with all the ways this planet could kill you, I’d wager tripping does more prospectors in than anything.”

“Is that… a common profession? Prospector?” you asked, more than happy to momentarily change the subject.

“That depends on your origin,” Ezra answered. “If you’re originally from Central, or any of the core planets, really, no, it’s not common at all. Those folks tend to go into more well-educated fields and keep their feet planted firmly on a safe, habitable planet with a functioning government.”

You both reached the tree line, and Ezra began leading you into the brush, pushing some vegetation out of the way to begin clearing something of a path.

“But, if you’re from the Frontier, the Fringe, hell, even some of the tourist planets, it’s damn near your only option to get off whatever rock you were born on,” he continued. “Extremely high risk, no such thing as a safe job. So… my apologies for dragging you out of your nap and right into harm’s way,” he said, looking over his shoulder to you with an apologetic expression.

You weren’t yet sure how to respond to that, given how that “nap” ended up. You continued to follow Ezra, stepping over twisting roots, vines, and other growth.

“But, with high risk comes high reward,” Ezra said. “If you live long enough to turn in your bounty, it can be well worth the risk. ‘Course, so many succumb to the environments they prospect in, or other prospectors, not too terribly many actually make a return. Can’t tell you how many woefully unprepared kips I’ve seen get themselves killed on their first go because they thought they were stronger than nature, or couldn’t make a deal, even on the wrong end of a thrower.”

You both made it to a small clearing, and Ezra stopped for a moment to survey the surrounding trees. The canopy was thick, shading you from the sun, though not doing much to curb the oppressive humidity in the air. On top of that, every step you took seemed harder than the last. Maybe pushing yourself so soon after you woke up wasn’t a good idea. You knew that the planet was significantly denser than Earth, but you weren’t expecting the increased gravity to affect you this much. You wiped some sweat from your brow, looking around as well, taking in the alien plants. If dropped here with no other context, one might be forgiven for thinking this was the middle of a rainforest, but there was an… uncanny valley sort of feeling to it. It was definitely not familiar biology, though clearly not entirely dissimilar from what had evolved on Earth.

“Ah! That way. There’s a tree species this flower particularly likes, I’m willing to wager we’ll find a patch nearby,” Ezra said, pointing out of the clearing and beginning to walk that direction.

You continued to follow him. “So, I take it you’re one of the more successful ones,” you said, continuing your conversation.

Ezra chuckled a little. “I’d like to think so,” he responded. “Not without my fair share of challenges and loss, of course, but I’ve done alright for myself. Well enough I have a home of sorts on Central, nothing too fancy, but it’s enough.”

“You said most people from Central don’t prospect,” you pointed out.

“I am not from Central, Captain,” he said. “Depending on how you look at it, I simply got lucky.”

You wondered what he meant by “depending on how you look at it,” but chose not to pursue that. “If Central has safer jobs, why keep doing this?” you asked.

Ezra sighed. “You can take the man out of prospecting, but you can’t take prospecting out of the man, Dragonfly,” he answered. “Besides, those safe jobs lack the excitement this profession freely supplies. I’d get bored.”

You could certainly understand that. You could’ve much more easily taken a job with mission control, or stopped at test flights for the Genesis program, but no. That wasn’t enough. You had to be the face of it.

You two continued to walk for a while, you imagine having passed the tree Ezra had pointed out earlier some time ago. Thankfully, walking through the forest was requiring enough of your focus that your mind didn’t begin spiraling despite the quiet. It was hot and exhausting. After some time, though, you came to a large clearing with a pond of sorts in the middle, with some rock formations on the far side. Towards the other edge of the clearing, there was a patch of flowers.

“There! Perfect,” Ezra said, walking over towards the flowers with purpose. You followed. He began digging in his pockets, producing two bags, one that appeared to be empty, and another full of small tools. From the tool bag, he grabbed two pairs of tweezers.

“Now, this is delicate work,” Ezra started, handing one of the pair of tweezers to you. “As should be obvious, we have plenty of chances to get this right, but keep in mind these cinder violets are very valuable.”

You nodded. “Got it.”

“Good. So, to start, be careful picking them. That’s why you need work gloves. The stem on these flowers have sharp thorns,” Ezra explained, motioning for you to sit on the ground near him. You did so, letting out a sigh of relief as you did, thankful for any rest. You watched his movements closely as he reached forward and carefully picked one. You could see the thin, sharp thorns protruding seemingly randomly from its stem.

“Once they’re picked, you need to work quickly to get the stamen. There’s a reason we harvest them here rather than picking the flowers and taking them back to the ship,” he continued. He used the tweezers he was holding to point towards the center of the flower, where the sturdy purple petals were curled around what you assumed to be the stamen in question. “You gotta peel these back, but be careful of the stamen inside. If you accidentally break the stamen, or either of the individual parts, it’s worthless. Couldn’t tell you why, the folks this is valuable to end up burning them most of the time, but I’m not one to argue with a paying customer.”

You watched as he demonstrated what he just explained, carefully rolling back the petals to reveal the stamen inside. You immediately made the connection that it looked a lot like saffron threads, except they were a light purple color rather than red or orange. Ezra used the tweezers firmly at the base of the stamen, pinching the entire structure and removing it from the flower before carefully placing the piece in the empty bag he’d opened earlier.

“Just like that. Think you can handle it?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” you responded.

So you got to work. You messed up the first flower you attempted, breaking one of the threads when you tried to roll back the petals, but you tried again and successfully extracted the stamen whole. Once you got a few under your belt, you seemed to get the hang of it, only accidentally breaking a few threads the entire time. As you worked, Ezra filled the air with chatter, thankfully not seeming to care if you responded or not.

“The petals curl inward like that to protect the stamen from the weather here,” he said. “The winds from the storms can be brutal, but the trees around are rooted deep enough they can usually withstand them, and break up the wind the further inland you go. Of course, there’s still some wind, and these flowers adapted to protect their reproduction in a fascinating way. The petals are stiff enough that only certain pollinators can get inside.”

“Pretty textbook evolution,” you commented.

Ezra made a noise of agreement. “There have been attempts to start permanent logging colonies on the planet because of how strong the wood in some of the tree species is,” he explained. “The incredible winds combined with the strong gravitational force pushed their evolution that way. Of course, all of them have failed.”

Ezra continued to talk about the planet, how lumber and these flowers were really the only things of value here, though some other plants are propagated off-world to be sold as house plants. He began telling some tangent story about said house plants, but you were happy to listen nonetheless. There would be moments of quiet, still, in which occasionally either you or Ezra would curse as one of you destroyed another stamen by accident. Ezra occasionally mumbled something about joints in his hand, or something about servos, though you didn’t think anything of it. Doing this sort of detailed work was starting to make your hand sore as well.

After what had to be a few hours, you and Ezra made a sizable dent in the patch of flowers you’d found, filling the bag about halfway with the prize he was after. Just as you were about to reach for another flower, you heard a rumble of thunder. The light that was coming in through the clearing began to dim, and you could hear rain begin to hit the leaves of the canopy, not quite yet filtering through.

“Shit,” Ezra said, looking around as he started to get up off the ground. “Nothing major, sometimes these storms pop up. But we’re too far from the ship to go back in this. Let’s take cover over in those rock formations, shall we?”

You nodded, getting up as well. Ezra grabbed the bag of cinder violet, and as the rain began to fall through the canopy, you both ran towards the pond and the rock formations on the other side of the clearing. Ezra led you under a large overhang, and you two watched as the rain intensified, thunder clapping occasionally overhead. He sighed deeply, shaking his head.

“Fair timing, I suppose. I was starting to think about calling it quits anyway. The amount we have should earn us…” he paused, humming in thought. “Maybe two or three points?”

“Points?” you asked.

“Ah, yes. It’s payment, I’m not sure how you’d value it. It’s enough for a single person to live off for maybe two months or so,” he said.

You balked at that. “Two months?” you asked.

“I told you it was valuable,” Ezra responded, smiling at you.

He turned and sat down again, back resting against the rock at the back of the overhang. You followed suit. It was quiet for a few moments as you watched the rain fall. Ezra, of course, was the one to break the quiet.

“Dragonfly, I’m sure you have a multitude of questions regarding the galaxy you now find yourself in, but I will admit, I have many of my own for you,” he said.

You sighed. “To be honest, I don’t know what to even ask yet, especially given you’re the only one I’ve met, and you’ve been with me the entire time I’ve been conscious,” you said. “Fire away.”

Ezra grinned like he’d just won a prize. “Very well. Do you mind if I start with a question about you, then?” he asked.

“Go for it,” you responded.

“How did you become captain of that handsome craft I encountered you on?” he asked.

“I wanted to save humanity,” you stated plainly. This was a bit of a softball question, one you’d answered many times at press conferences, news interviews, and presentations at various schools. “My entire life the world was crumbling around us. Every day was another record broken for hottest day, or highest sea level, or least polar ice. I never understood why no one was doing anything about it. I did try the activism route for a while, but I got disillusioned fast. It never really accomplished anything. It’s nearly impossible to make people care about something when they have incentive to ignore it. I caught wind of NASA’s Genesis program, went to test pilot school, worked my ass off… and here we are.” There was some bitterness in your tone at the end of your sentence. Here you were, indeed.

“Saving an entire planet is quite the lofty goal,” Ezra said.

You nodded. “It is. But it’s the right thing to do,” you said. “Was the right thing to do, I guess.” Doubt began to creep in. Was it? Knowing what you know now… was all of this worth it?

Ezra seemed to sense your shift in mood, and asked another question. “I must ask, was the cryostasis technology I found you in… pioneered for this mission?” he asked.

“More or less. I mean, people have been working on some form of it since… I think the bunk cryonics industry started in the 1970s,” you said. “Most of the time after that was spent thinking the entire concept would remain science fiction, but some group of scientists made a major breakthrough when I was a kid. NASA spent the next twenty odd years fine-tuning the technology to get us to Kepler-186.”

Ezra was quiet for a beat. “Cryostasis was deemed too dangerous to continue using decades ago,” he finally said. “Too much risk, side effects were too strong. Much more muscle atrophy and other deleterious effects caused by long term use. As far as that is concerned, Captain, you are very lucky.”

You looked over at him, your brow furrowed. “Other deleterious effects?” you asked.

“I’m no expert on the subject, but if I’m remembering correctly there were some concerns about the agents used to prevent harmful ice crystals from forming, nutrition uptake over time, issues with sleep and attentiveness after being taken out of stasis… we have much safer alternatives now,” Ezra explained. “Although use of any suspended animation is less frequent now that we have faster than light travel.”

“What alternatives are there?” you asked, genuine confusion in your voice. As far as you were aware, cryostasis was the only suspended animation technique that was really achievable. Anything else wouldn’t do enough to slow the body’s metabolism, and therefore aging, or required far too much energy to be plausible, or was simply fictional magic.

“Most true suspended animation relies on manipulation of spacetime,” Ezra said casually. The surprised expression on your face in response told Ezra that that statement was not casual at all to you. “It does take a considerable amount of energy, so it is not used frequently.”

“You can just… manipulate spacetime?” you asked

“Well, I’m sure it’s not as simple as that. Like I said, I’m no expert,” he answered. “I’m not entirely sure how they accomplish it. More commonly, though, is a state of induced torpor, which is more conducive to the length of trips we take with FTL.”

You nodded, absorbing this information.

It was quiet for a long moment, other than the rain falling and wind blowing through the trees. Ezra then began speaking, almost carefully choosing his words.

“In my childhood, my peers and I were told the same stories our parents were told of Earth. Toxic skies that would choke you to death in an instant, poison plants that could burn you with one touch, vicious creatures that could eat you whole. I believe that these began as cautionary tales many generations ago, but they morphed into this mythology of a cursed planet that would punish you for even thinking about visiting its surface,” he said. “I would be remiss not to ask you what Earth was truly like, even in your day.”

You considered his question, then sighed. “While exaggerated, the stories you heard weren’t… too far off,” you responded. Ezra looked at you, surprised. “I mean, the whole planet isn’t like that. Toxic skies… occasionally, as pollution got worse or wildfire smoke ruined air quality for days on end, yes. Not so bad you’d die if you had to go outside, though. Poison plants and vicious creatures, absolutely. There are plants that, if you get even a little bit of its sap on you, it gives you chemical burns or makes you itch for days on end. Some plants and fungi have lookalikes, where one is perfectly edible, and the other is so toxic that if you eat it you’ll be dead within a day. There are animals that can and will kill you given the chance, granted there aren’t many that could swallow you whole. Hippos probably could. Maybe blue whales, but they don’t eat prey as large as us.” You smiled sadly. “Still, it’s beautiful. Vast oceans, lush jungles, mountain ranges and rock formations… even the things we built, to some degree, are beautiful. Bridges, castles, skyscrapers. It’s…” You stopped as you realized you were speaking in present tense, and you gulped, willing away the tears that threatened to begin. “It was worth saving.”

Ezra’s surprise morphed into some cross between interest and concern as you spoke. “I… wish I could’ve seen it, as you did.”

“Yeah,” you said, nodding a bit. “Me too.”

As another moment of quiet passed between you, you realized something. Surely humanity by itself couldn’t span an entire galaxy, right? And clearly, life was elsewhere in the galaxy…

“I just thought of a question,” you started.

“Please,” Ezra encouraged.

“Have we made first contact?” you asked.

“Have we made what?”

Well that’s not the response you were expecting.

“First contact,” you repeated. You then put on a bit of a voice, mocking the many documentaries about this topic from your original era. “Is there intelligent life beyond our solar system?”

Ezra looked at you, confused at first, then he seemed to remember how long you’d been asleep. “Yes.”

You weren’t sure whether to be excited or deflated with his response. “With that kind of reaction I imagine it’s commonplace.”

Ezra nodded. “As humanity fled Earth, it happened multiple times with multiple colonies concurrently,” he said. “Enough so that no one’s really sure who was first. Thankfully, other than the one time a group of us managed to establish an empire across the galaxy, everyone gets along relatively well. Well, on an official level, anyway. All bets are off once you’re in the Fringe, or the Frontier, or prospecting.”

You nodded again, and hummed in understanding. “I’m glad to hear it, I suppose. That was another thing that was still very much science fiction when I was on Earth,” you said.

“I have a feeling that will not be the last time you come across something matching that description, Captain,” he said. “You are always welcome to ask questions. I may not have all the answers, but I do a fair share of reading in my free time. I’ve picked up on some things, at least.”

“I appreciate it,” you said.

The rain began to lighten a bit, but not stop. The humidity had broken slightly, and the wind from the storm was making it a bit cooler where you were taking cover under this rock. For the moment, it was kind of nice. You wondered again if you would’ve made it this far if you had known. If you would’ve rather had your team alive for a short time on this planet’s surface, marking the mission’s technical success, or if they were better off having died painlessly in cryo. Part of you wanted to believe that if you had all made it, you would’ve proved Ezra wrong, and there would be a thriving colony on this planet’s surface in just a couple of years. But… like Ezra said earlier: people get themselves killed thinking they’re stronger than nature.

“We were going to name it Eden,” you blurted. “When we got settled, I mean. The colony, the planet, was going to be named Eden.” You looked over at Ezra. “I… suppose I don’t know if that means anything to you.”

“I believe I get the gist,” Ezra responded. “The Garden of Eden where humanity was supposedly started by some capricious deity.”

“In the Book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, God takes six days to create existence, resting on the seventh. Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, and who are tasked with creating humanity, live in this garden God created as a paradise on Earth. It was plentiful, and they were allowed to eat from any tree in the garden except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” you said. “Of course, they eat from it anyway and get kicked out before they can eat from the tree of life, which would have granted them immortality.” You tilted your head back and forth for a moment in consideration. “There’s more to it than that, but that’s the condensed version. Wouldn’t be a story from a religion if the details weren’t hotly debated.”

“That is yet another thing that has not changed since your time,” Ezra responded. “I am sorry that this did not turn out to be the paradise you expected it to be.”

You sighed. “I don’t think anyone truly believed this would be a paradise,” you said. “Livable, yes. But a true paradise wouldn’t require us to work for our survival. We were prepared to start from truly nothing but the supplies we carted across 579 light years.” You paused and furrowed your brow. “We made a lot of assumptions. About the planet, about what would grow here, clearly about how the surface of the planet would be.” You didn’t want to admit that the entire program was done out of desperation. It had taken 25 years from the conception of the program to your launch date, yes, but an undertaking as huge as this… it likely would’ve benefited from more time to plan, to study the target planets, to truly understand what you were getting yourselves into. But the planet was dying, and humanity was dying with it. Someone needed to do something, and the sooner something was done, the sooner humanity could be saved.

You supposed it didn’t matter in the end.

You wondered what McCoy would say. He always balanced your optimism with caution and well-timed cynicism. You remembered what he said that night 10 days before launch, on the boat. I’m sick of worrying about what could go wrong… What if it does go wrong? You’d told him it wouldn’t. That you’d make new constellations.

You realized you were crying again. You forced yourself to take a deep breath. You wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“Sorry,” you offered.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Ezra assured you. “You’ve had an incredible amount of information dumped on you in a very short amount of time. If anyone here should be apologizing for anything, it’s me for waking you up.”

You shook your head. “No. I… given the choice between waking up to this and dying without knowing what went wrong, I would’ve chosen waking up every time.”

Ezra nodded slowly. “While I cannot begin to understand what you’re going through, I do understand that choice, at least,” he said.

Soon, the rain stopped, and the wind died down. Ezra moved to stand up, walking towards the edge of the structure you were under.

“I think now is as good a time as any to get back to the ship and head out,” Ezra said, turning back to where you were still sitting. He approached, and held a hand out to help you up.

You hesitated to reach out. Much like your hesitation at leaving the ship, you almost didn’t want to leave. You made it here. Did you deserve to make it any further? What about your crew? How in the world would you even move on from something like this?

You took Ezra’s hand, and hoisted yourself up off the ground.

“Alright. Where to from here?”

#prospect #ezra prospect #pedro pascal #ezra x reader #ezra (prospect)#tori says things #max says things #ezra #my fic #genesis

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sonseulsoleil · 2 years

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tagged by @twosoulsinonehome (thanks Mia!)

> Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics, then tag ten people! If you’ve written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway. <

Alright, they're all gonna be Heartstopper/narlie fics. I almost waited to do this until I post a lotr fic (because...it's gonna happen) but I need to finish the books first. And they are long. Anyways. From most recent to least recent:

it's not simple to say (most days I don't recognize me)

It starts the night Charlie—it starts the first night Charlie is in hospital. Nick isn’t allowed to see him—only family can stay overnight, and no matter how much Nick loves Charlie, he still isn’t legally family.

2. hush, hush (don't give it away)

Nick Nelson and Charlie Spring had been dating for almost four months—three months, two weeks, four days, eighteen hours, and 11 minutes, to be exact. Not that Nick’d been counting or anything.

3. it's much too early in the game (but I thought I'd ask you just the same)

Nick shivered in the cold December wind and pulled his blue coat tighter around his body. Despite the multiple layers he was wearing, he could still feel the bitter cold seeping into his bones.

4. sugar, butter, flour (what a mess I'm making)

Nellie's Nibbles was a small bakery, with pale blue walls and two large front-facing windows. Nick had picked the space for the windows, loving the flood of natural light that spilt in through them every day.

5. Fantasyland

“My feet hurt,” Charlie announced. “I think you should give me a piggyback ride.”

6. come sail away with me

Charlie sat at his desk, going over his packing checklist for the Menorca trip and trying not to overthink and work himself up into a panic. He was only somewhat successful.

7. never saw you coming (and I'll never be the same)

Nick Nelson was filthy from head to toe. Rugby practice had been wet and muddy—the true struggle of rugby being a spring game—and the walk back to his flat had felt endless.

8. hurts like heaven (and it feels so good)

When the large box first appeared in their flat, Charlie didn’t think much of it. It’s not uncommon for Nick to buy things for his classroom—even large things, like a desk chair that won’t do permanent damage to his spine.

9. the night we met, there was magic abroad in the air

“I cannot believe Mum made me do this.” Charlie walked down the pavement with his arms crossed, a frown on his face. Olly ran ahead, giggling delightedly, pretending to shoot webs out of his Spider-Man costume. “I’m supposed to be at Tao’s right now, getting pre-buzzed for Harry Greene’s Halloween party.”

10. I make sense of the madness (when I listen to your voice)

Rain falls in a gentle drizzle outside, and the soft pitter-patter creates a soothing rhythm. Charlie taps along to the sound of the shower with his fingers on the kitchen counter, counting the beats in his head.

This was fun! And made me realize just how often I write from Nick's POV lmao. I'm tagging @unacaritafeliz @galwithalibrarycard @thetourguidebarbie @hmslusitania and anyone else who wants to do it!

#my fan fiction #my writing #Heartstopper #Heartstopper fic #narlie fic #narlie #might as well put tags on it so people might find and read my fics lol

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charlieslowartsies · 11 months

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Would you mind giving me a director’s commentary on Finding Freddy? I was curious why you didn’t like that one as much.

I know I've mentioned it in passing before but yeh sure. It's a personal tale tho, not much fun haha

Finding Freddy was a strange beast for me. I went into it wanting to pull the story away from being centered around Mike and the OG 4, wanting to explore the world thru the kga lens better. I shoved the timeline 9 years.

Okay. I brought in Danny, since he was the logical choice of who Mike would trust and who I thought me and the readers would enjoy. I brought in Springtrap as a good guy, separating him from William Afton while still making it clear that wasn't going to last long, but that Springy was someone we should sympathize or even empathize with. I wanted a story of fear of the unknown.

Ghost Strings was about loss and grief. Finding Freddy was going to be about finding oneself in the darkness and being afraid of what's inside you, but also what's behind you too.

And a finger on the monkey's paw curled lmao.

At the same time, in my real life, I was in the process of moving from my childhood home. I'd lived there for about 25 years, and though old and spooky and occasionally grouchy it was a wonderful house for a kid. The joint was full of nooks, crannies, two basements, (respectively titled the Old Basement and the New Basement, despite New Basement being 25 years old in 1993 when I came along, that was just it's name by then.) It had ghosts in every corner, stairs that creaked in unison on dark nights, about 2 dozen mice and it was safe and warm and familiar to me as my own bones.

For those that know the stories well, you can see where the restaurant's descriptions came from, especially in the opening of Finding Freddy.

Well, I wrote myself right into a corner, uncertain where I wanted Danny and Mike's future to head. Danny died in a few renditions. Mike died in others. Killing them off seemed like surrendering something I didn't want to give. I stalled out on the story. We moved into our new build around June 2017, FF had begun in Feb of that year. My golden Joey died around April, he was older and it was a relief because we worried the move would stress him out. Herbie, my graduation gift in 2015, filled out and completed his training and took a lot of my spare time that art wasn't getting.

Standing in my empty room the day I dropped the keys off, which had not been empty since...forever...it ended up leaving a deeper wound that I refused to address. I called myself silly, sentimental, I shrugged. I was being stupid.

It found a way out, though, because our troubles always do.

FF languished in the word doc. I started BATIM/Make Believe around then. The FNAF games weren't as fun for me as they used to be. I loved the new house, I was so so grateful that my folks gave me the second floor of our cape cod. I cooked with my mom in a big, new kitchen with appliances that worked and breakers that didn't trip. I took care of my father and his health issues. I explored the acres of woods we moved onto.

My rabbit I had through college died the following March. Hiccup. Old time readers know that Bonnie's loyal and sometimes snotty personality came directly from Hiccup.

I subbed for my mom's school, and Hiccup died one day before I started a two month job. I wanted out of it for the first few days, I wanted time to grieve. I wasn't given it. I didn't ask, my mom refused me. "You made a promise to work there. You made a commitment."

I didn't fight her. She was right. It was just a silly pet rabbit. The world shouldn't stop for me, for something trivial. I had no energy to do free lance work, and less energy to write for a fic I couldn't enjoy.

Turns out, living with Hiccup for so many years meant I slept to his background presence. His lil bunny sounds, monching hay and digging about in his cage and cannonballing my bed in the morning to greet me.

His ambience was gone, and for 3 months I got about 3-4 hours of sleep a night until I realized the problem.

FF started to rot. Another Five Nights was tended to, sometimes. More fics worked on. FF ignored. I felt so bad. I felt tired, angry, annoyed. I missed Mike. I felt I was writing Danny all wrong. I missed the Marionette. I wondered if I had taken Springtrap from the plot too early. I questioned Afton's motives. I questioned my motives.

I missed my childhood home. I missed college. I missed going to classes and having tons of work and dreaming of being an illustrator and getting paid to do what I loved. I missed having a life for myself.

Danny was trapped in the underground. I was trapped up on the third floor, feeling like Rapunzel in her tower. (When will my life begin?)

Danny became that mouthpiece for me. If nothing else, I learned more what Danny Fitzgerald wanted, even if I didn't show it until later stories.

Finally, finally, I pulled my shit together and updated the fic. 2020. Not as long as I've let other stories sit in purgatory, but for some reason with KGA it felt more personal to me. It hurt more. I was pretty pleased with myself for pushing onward. I had concurred this dragon, I was proud of myself.

And then I got a review that asked why I had taken 2 years to update. Nothing else in that comment.

I also received other kinder comments too, but in that one moment I remember sitting there and thinking 'wow, okay. Why am I bothering with this again? Why is this hobby draining me and why am I letting it?' All I saw was the negative in that situation, which was wrong of me.

It was a lesson I needed to learn. Write for yourself. Write what you want. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

I was able to justify bringing Marion back when I saw Lefty in Pizza Sim. I was able to bring in Mangle and explain Mike's survival because she protected him. Springtrap and Afton were given an escape so they could go ahead and set up plot for Last Shift. (And then in Lies Within, too.) The Michael Afton/Michael Schmidt theory was yanked until I had two Michael's to work with. Hiccup was further immortalized into Scraptrap. Max Afton was so much fun to create and write.

But Finding Freddy never quite lived up to my expectations.

I never lived up to my expectations for the story. It was a lot of things that culminated in me carrying a grudge for the fic.

I don't really carry it heavy as I used to, time heals all wounds. But it's the problem child of the series for me. London Bridge is old and the gang wasn't realized. I could excuse LB not being a good read, but at the time I liked writing it. Devil's Spine was fun, but perhaps shouldn't have been a prequel. That was okay, because it set a lot of building blocks. And DS lead to Ghost Strings, which I loved working on.

FF I didn't like writing, and nothing excuses it. It became a chore and I felt forced to write.

But the one thing I do like about it, is that I did finish it. And that did feel good.

#kga #knight guard au #long post #ask #answered #a heavier reply im sorry #but i dont think i explained at length what i was going thru back then

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teethpaste · 10 months

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I have so much travel coming up

Ireland 12/15-12/27 (for fun, staying with my family)

supposed to have someone I’ve never met visit me the beginning of Jan but that’s not planned and it’s stressssssing me out bc of work. I have colleagues taking January days and we have a huge event in hawaii that needs coverage leading up to the Congress. I can’t just take days last minute. Technically there’s a whole month - but I’m out for two weeks in Ireland and would be immediately coming back to take MORE PTO .. so I need to know :( I am trying not to be a bother. I feel like I’m pestering so much and it not being reciprocated makes me anxious hahahaahahahah. I’m sure it will b fine but like 🥲🙃. Idk how many ways I can paraphrase if we can’t book it before Ireland it can’t happen and that will hurt my lil heart. Suppose I’ll know the fate of this by this same time next week.

Hawaii 1/21-1/27

DC 2/22-2/26

San Diego 3/7-3/12

Doesn’t account for the lil personal trips I’d like to take. Hawaii, DC, San Diego are all for work. It’s nuts to me that after this person and I meet will determine like - so much of how I want to spend my 2024. I’m so nervous. It will change things so much if it goes well or if it goes bad. I really hope it goes well. I have so many trips aligned to their city in 2024 that it would be nice to be able to go to California for free. But like if they hate me IRL ( I know they won’t hate me but if they aren’t attracted to me/there isn’t chemistry … I need to not be aligned to those California meetings lmao) Also in Q2 all my global travel starts which like …. I can’t wait for Japan! Spain! Germany! But traveling for work is really exhausting. I signed up for it but I need to get back in the right mindset. Right now I just feel .. scared lol

It sounds lame to complain about travel to all these places but it’s hard living out of a suitcase, being taken away from my gym routine (I’ve lost 27 lbs since March, 23 more to go!!!), having to work on other projects while onsite for your current one … maybe I’m just having a hard time bc of how this year has gone. Even when I get on a plane, the grief comes with me. I will feel so much better after January

#travel #rant #getting crushed 2 death by a crush is soooo fun #but I am just a lil anxious gal with big feelings #everything will b ok no matter what bc it has to b #I wish I had more self confidence #lately being out in the wild I get hit on and I’m not on apps so I know these interactions are genuine but I can’t help but worry they’re #gonna meet me and not be attracted to me!#and I like them so much I just want it to work #fckkkkkk #Ireland #Washington DC #Hawaii

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dokiyeom · 2 years

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DORI DEAREST 💔💔😭😭😭💔💔😭😭 mmm i will have a lot of free time & since it's the last trimester of the school year and most exams are alr done, it will be less stressful + more fun so yay! but i will still have to study for my two last exams but i hope i can get more into writing & prepare for uni!! im also planning on throwing a bday party for my 18th bday in april so yayaya 🥳🥳

aww no :( i hope ur doing better and that ur well!! SENIOR TRIP??? hello that sounds so cool ! ive always wanted to go to japan so that just sounds super fun 2 !! no no igu it's the same where i live, u basically only see Dutch people during the holidays because they (+ english tourists) love this area LMAOO

NO NO ITS ALRIGHT HAHA i was only sure because he posted a bunch of other pics without the mask yk so don't be embarrassed 🙏 ok and what if i watch an episode today . what then . BUT YES DO SO!! i love it when people ramble about shows or other stuff 🫡

YAYAY scoups said they would have a cb in april and another one this year during caratland but he didn't mention the exact date so im just patiently waiting for the official announcement 🤭🤭 since im an april baby ill just ask my friends to get me that & ask my 1 kpop fan friend (that sounds funny idk why) to organize it since it's pretty complicated to buy an album with all the versions 👎👎 IM AN ARIES .. or a taurus?? april 20 baby here so it's right between them yk? but i did some research about zodiac signs and personality and bla bla bla && decided im more an aries hihi 😇 also why are u losing ur mind over photoshop im curious, tell me all about it!!

dori dearest indeed :D ykw i should start making individual tags for my moots so i can tag dori dearest on these :DD and aagh excited for u to have free time !!!! i’m vv much looking forward to reading whatever u write !!!

thank uu !! i just hung out w family friends && we had malatang && sukiyaki + milk tea & a strawb matcha chiffon cake that i baked + two whole tomahawk steaks && played sm mahjong !! i don’t have any cousins/extended family where i live,, so my family friends have really grown to feel like my family ?? and i literally love them sm,, like hanging out w them today has absolutely made this month exponentially better :D

&& yesyes im actually going back to japan for a bit next month,, so hopefully i’ll b able to buy some tickets to more popular exhibits n stuff domestically in advance for the trip w my friends :D ticketing there is literally insane if ur buying them internationally omg,,, vv much a nightmare process && DORI UR DUTCH ?? woah omg :000

if u watch an ep,, PLS LMK LMAO i need people to talk to abt hospital playlist bc it’s my literal fav thing ever,, like istg it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn :0 AND ALSO HELLO UR BORN ON 420 && SHARE A BDAY W JAY FROM ENHA,, stop i’m so jealous i literally share a bday w,, noah centineo,,, && aagh i hope it’s released around a time that’s convenient for ur friend to buy the album as a gift for u !!!!! tbh if it’s that time too,, mayb i can find it for slightly cheaper in japan :00

and dori. i’m like. constantly losing my mind over photoshop and sudoku. and digital magazines that require paid subscriptions to read their articles. but photoshop is just,, vv difficult to navigate atm bc i’ve only started using it a month ish ago to learn graphic design !!! so i still have a long way (and many more headaches) to go until im comfy && can use photoshop fluently <//3

#aiyah aya !!#answered (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ #aya's lomls ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡#dori dearest ꒰๑´ᗜ`꒱*›◡‹꒱꒱

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andthebubbles · 2 years

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Well it’s nearly the end of the year and as usual I like to blab something about it before it becomes wtf!2023???

it was a preeeeeeeeetty good year... i had a very chill start, then i got my old (casual) job back, then i got the part-time version of it and my contract goes to the end of next year, which is nice. but already there’s talk that it might be extended, which would be really nice, but i won’t be too cut up about it if it doesn’t happen. though, idk what i’ll do next... but that bridge can be crossed when it comes to it

on june 2 i got my fuckin dream car skjfngkdfjngkfjgnfg i was honestly aiming for the older version with the 1hz engine but my parents were like ‘it’s too old!!’ (wtf lol) and so between us we got the 2015 version... wildddd. it’s really no one else’s dream car, unless you know what it’s about. it rattles and it’s LOUD and it’s bumpy and it has hardly any in-car tech (yay!) and no infotainment system (yay!) and wind up windows (yay!!!) and it’s HUGE and it fits only into 2.4m+ carparks (at least i haven’t dared to try one with 2.3m clearance yet) and it has a turning circle of a.... very small bus.... actually it IS classified as a bus, lol. anyway, i still have a lot to do to it, but that’s what i love about it, and i’m very excited to make it comfy and quiet and my home on wheels, and i should really get started on some of that soon lol.

we alsoooo got aoife the cat :3 she was watching the 9pm fireworks actually, it was sooooo cute. (i think she just likes the lights, and she likes the lights/shadows of the passing car headlights when everyone tries to leave our suburb after each fireworks is over.) she’s also lately a TV addict (she loves those cat tv youtube vids), and she loves the garden and being outdoors and stalking birds. and she’s a really good insect hunter. and she eats cockroaches. gross. she also doesn’t like food much (...) but she looooooves pats. and she loves being called to come, unless she’s busy or asleep. and she goes on car trips with us. actually i can’t believe we’ve only had her since jan 28, it feels a lot longer than that ever since she reached adulthood/the past couple of months. also she has the cutest sweetest meow. and starts crying when we turn the TV off. and cries sometimes if we leave her downstairs LMAO. and she loves other cats and is scared of human strangers, esp ones that enter the house skjfngkg. and she follows us everywhere unless she’s too sleepy. i’ve never had a cat like her, but i hear that maine coons are dog-like, so i guess that’s why.

in other news, my parents are getting old. it’s kinda... well ‘weird’ isn’t the right word, but the balance is changing. we should’ve gotten that car 10 years ago lol. rn i’m the only one who can drive it--although i think my dad can drive it again in a couple of months or so (that’s what he says anyway). but i really need to fix the bumpiness.

oh yeah, job-wise, the best part about it is the driving and picking up stuff, and getting paid for it!! yas

okay, that was like, really all over the place and not even vaguely structured or organised, but what the hell, i’m not writing a fucking essay

also i would like to say that alongside the sound of a lawnmower, the sound of a house party is Right Up There on my list of Most Hated Sounds, ffssssssss

#me.txt #nye #aoife the cat #troopy talk #may add to this post

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wheezingghoulbois · 4 years

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i am in awe of how hyper-specific ur disney knowledge is that you KNOW that the sword in the stone attraction is right next to that particular carousel. like ma'am ... howw. also you know what that carousel is called??? but it's just horses???? HOW?? i bow before our disney sovereign - gay shoes anon

alskfjaslkfjalksfjalksfj okay there’s only 1 carousel ride in disneyland (and one in California Adventure, it’s sister park but its a toy story western theme so it looks VERY different), and disneyland’s is called King Arthur’s Carousel, hence the sword in the stone thing right in front of it! but i know where ryan is in that photo just because like... okay the line for the ride wraps around the side of the carousel, as well as the fact its smack in the middle of fantasyland so theres a LOT of foot traffic so he can’t of been on the sides of the ride, And theres a clearing FOR photo shoots right next to the sword in the stone, so... that’s where he is💖 i also know disneyland bricks... and floors.... dont ask alskfjalksjfklaksf. i have literally probably around 500+ trips to disney under my belt like disneyland hates me bc im the passholder who they dont make money off of bc i USE the shit out of my pass and dont buy merch or food unless i have a gift card or im like starving. i appreciate ur awe but truly it just comes from me literally going to the park Too Much alfkjalksfjlaksf. genuinely i could walk around disney blindfolded and be fine. i have definitely helped lost families find their way to attractions, bathrooms, meet and greets etc lmao.and have helped folks score those rise of the resistance aka the big star wars ride boarding passes bc some ppl just Don’t Know u need the app and to have ur tickets linked and have to be there AT park opening and have to get onto the app a certain way to boost ur chances like it’s difficult lmao (also That is why ryan hasn’t ridden rise yet like he’s mention he tried but failed bc yeah it takes prep, knowledge, and luck lmao)

#gay shoes anon #i can tell if a photo was taken at disney by gates-brick-tile-flooring-p much anything #my useless superpower #i literally do not know how many times ive been to disneyland 500 is lowballing it tbh #bc ive had a pass for like 8 years on and off #and near the begining i was doing weekly trips at LEAST #so that like 60 trips a year #its less than that the past couple #mostly bc now when i go i spend the whole day #i used to just go and spend like 3-4 hours #i'd say my avg trips yearly now is like 35-40 #2-3 trips a month sounds right lmao #another fun fact is my mom helped do translation for some of shanghai disneyland's ride manuals!#including the ride manual for the carousel lmao #asks #wow that ask got away from me im sorry #disney rambles #my rambles #damn i miss disneyland can u tell #its so fucking funny one time a dude tried to impress me #with his star wars land knowledge at a bar #not realizing #he was trying to impress the wrong gal i knew more than he did alsfjalksf #Anonymous

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mazuwii · 3 years

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Getting Lost with the AOT characters!

Levi:

-I think it's fairly obvious he's going to stay silent and tell you to shut up everytime you try saying something because he knows you're clueless

-he's just flipping the map upside down, right side up, to the left to the right

-you will get back and it won't be because of the map, you two agree to stalk a bird out of the forest😭😭😭

Eren:

-he gets so frustrated. He has no idea how he got it wrong, he's retracing his steps and can't remember crap

-even though you're panicking yourself you have to remain calm because of how this boy sounds. He sounds like he's on the verge of getting electrocuted

-The whole time he's demanding you follow him because his memory is good and you just threaten to knock him out and carry him.

Bertholdt:

-he's somehow good at it, like he's been in the forest so many times that he knows it like the back of his hand

-since it's getting dark he smiles reassuringly and holds your hand so you don't lose him

-Okay but you two heard russling in the bushes and found two squirrels having seggs 💀that scared you more than the monster you were expecting

-sorry that headcannon was out of NOWHERE

Reiner:

-he's brave and shit until it's dark and gloomy and you two are in the middle of nowhere

-He BAWLS the moment he realises his phone has no signal so calling anyone is not possible

-is clinging onto your hand and denies it when you ask if he's still crying.

-at one point he thought he saw a ghost so he threw you over his shoulder and DARTED aimlessly while you wailed at the top of your lungs

Jean:

-he carries a compass around with him 100%, is jokingly trying to scare you with myths

-I personally think you guys would get lost for the day and since it's night time you can't see anything so at that point he starts a fire and you both continue your journey in the morning

-turns out the exit was right in front of you but you know our baby horse💀 always a dunce

Armin:

-he wouldn't cry or panic he would probably stand still and try to come up with a logical plan

-he most likely would help you climb up a tree to see how far away from the entrance of the forest you guys are

-I mean if it begins to get dark he can get very pale and paranoid, like the man kept walking into trees

-reminds you every 2 seconds that he's got you

Erwin:

-He's been keeping track of everything there's no way you could get lost

-he remembers things the old way, like a child. Something like:a red musbroom, then a tree stump, bridge, etc.

-NOTHING scares him, there could be a tiger inside that shit ass forest and he'd just 👁👁 hello

Zeke:

-he insists on climbing somewhere high to see everything beneath him, like you can't climb so you waited for him on the ground

-monkey man- He just needs his hands to climb, nothing else

-you did trip and hurt your knee so you got a piggyback ride on the monke man.

-you get back home faster than expected

Porco:

-Not good to get lost with him, he gets so frustrated. He's so mad that he crumples the map and you just deadpan because it's the last piece of info that can save you

-Get a load of shit with you if you go hiking with him because there's a 90% chance you'll get lost and he'll either blame it on himself or rage like an animal

-at some point your friends find you because it had been too long and Porco just goes "Fucking finally" with his arms raised completely💀

Hange:

-She doesn't give a fuck LMAO

-"Hey um, honey... we're lost..." you say, staring at the map as if it were an alien language. She stops her staring contest with the wood pecker and turns to you with an amused look. "Are we now?" She hums, returning her gaze back to the animal hidden within the shadow of the towering trees.

-Like I said, she can survive up to 3 months in the wild by herself

-Let's just say sometimes it's quick, other times you get Erwin and Levi to try and find you

Pieck:

-She sounds like a middle school teacher 💀 "Oh deary me... we're lost." She taps her chin and looks around in thought.

-I imagine you'd be the calmer person in the relationship but you'd lose your shit in this scenario

-She's just stroking your head while you have a full on panic attack, chuckling about how much you're overreacting and how the both of you will find your way back

Mikasa:

-She's 100% the best person to get lost with

-Like Hange, strong and intelligent enough to survive in the wild but she'd rather not live like that and find a way out

-Tells you to stay behind her incase anything creeps up

-her words are so reassuring and true. Like if she says 'we'll make it out of here' she ain't playin

-Miss gurl here wouldnt sit her ass still SHES SEARCHIN THE WHOLE DAY

Mike:

-Is rambling on how he's an expert on hikes and how he would never ever get lost.

-Chill we get it just find a way out😩

-He did make notes on what he saw on the way so that slightly helps but Mike seems like the type of person to move away from the exit by accident without even realising💀

-you could be telling him how the both of you are going to a different location and he just tells you to 'trust the process'

Sasha:

-you're terrified, she'd eat anything she deems edible tbh

-because you don't want that happening you both try to find your way back using the map yet you still fail

-However when she takes control of it, she begins to pull out knowledge that you never knew she had

-she's pretty fast at navigating her way back and protects both you and her surprisingly well

Annie:

-curses under her breath and begins to try and remember her steps, will probably tell you to shut up even if you aren't saying anything

-like she's even scaring feral animals away from you guys💀

-eventually it's almost night time and she lets it out by wailing 'DAMN IT' at the top of her lungs with birds flying out of trees💀

-her last resort is to just keep walking even if it's almost nightime and thankfully you somehow make it out together

Kenny:

-He's making weird noises as supposed to groaning, realising you're both stuck in this shit ass forest

-I can tell you, he runs so that he can find the way out before night and worst part is he grabs your hand so you're just dying from the amount of sprinting he does

-He assumes everything is there to attack you both, a cat popping out of a bush? He wrapped his arms around you and squealed.

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friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn · 3 years

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MCU!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

NO WAY HOME SPOILERS

Request: after the events of no way home, reader is left feeling like something is missing. Reader spirals further and further until someone by the name of Peter Parker offers his help. Unfortunately, this doesn’t go easily.

AN: This turned into something completely different than intended, I'm sorry lol. I might try and write a continuation on this that does follow the request more closely, but that depends on whether or not my mind would like to cooperate.

If you want something to listen to while reading, I had Shadow by Chromatics on repeat while I wrote this. It's also what the title is taken from :)

Find part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.

Warnings: general mental health issues, it’s pretty sad but I ended it on a happy note because that movie wrecked me lmao

A Stranger's Dream

Every morning for the past two months, you had woken up feeling like something was missing.

No, no, wait, that didn't do it justice.

You felt like something had been violently ripped away from you. And you couldn't for the life of you remember what. Whenever you tried to think about it, really think it through, your head started to feel like it would explain. Those migraines lasted for days on end.

That had been bad enough already, but then you started hearing a voice. In your head. Which, generally speaking, wasn't a good sign. The voice was lighter than a summer's breeze, and full of sorrow as it said your name. Only your name. Never more, but never less either.

It felt like you were going crazy, and that scared you. The fear of going insane was, ironically, driving you insane.

As you stood in the dairy aisle of the local cornerstore, you heard the voice again. But it was louder this time, almost as if whoever it belonged to was standing right behind you. On instinct, you spun around.

There was no one there. Not right behind you, not in the entire aisle. It was nearing three in the morning: of course there was nobody.

You suppressed the sob that was rising in your throat, grabbed what you came for, and went to pay. By some miracle, you kept it together until you stepped back out into the chilly night.

The cold reminded you that it was almost Christmas, but the though of spending the holidays feeling like this was too much. Hot tears stung against your cold cheeks as you blindly followed the way home.

You were barely paying attention to where you were walking, blinded by tears and relying on muscle memory to get you home. What you failed to remember, however, was the intersection you needed to cross to get home.

You didn't notice the blinding headlights and icessant blaring of a horn until someone grabbed your arm and yanked you back. You tripped over the curb, but as the yellow blur of a cab raced by, you realized you'd gotten lucky.

Breathing hard, you stared at the spot where you had just been standing as tires of mulit-colored cars flashed over it. You had been inches away from your own death, and yetn there you were.

When you turned to look at your mysterious savior, you thought your heart stopped beating for a moment.

The boy in front of you was a stranger with messy hair, looking around as if he was about the same age as you. But that wasn't what caught your attention.

No, the reason time seemed to have slowed down was because of his eyes. They were a bright shade of hazel, and wide open with a mixture of concern and pain.

That boy looked as if he was looking at a ghost, and you felt like you were doing the same thing.

"Are you okay, miss?" he asked then.

Anything you had wanted to say caught in your throat. That voice. That was the voice you'd been hearing in your head for almost a month now. And it sounded exactly like it did when he said your name. So very hurt.

"Have we met before?" you blurted, instead of answering his question.

There was a flash of something in his eyes, almost like grief, before he blinked it away. "No, we haven't."

"Are you sure? Because I could've sworn..."

You studied him for a few seconds. The feeling of having seen a ghost faded as you did. Your shoulders sagged as you realized this was just another trick of your mind. He had saved your life, of course you were going to think this meant more than it actually did.

"Yeah?" the boy prompted softly. You knew you were imagining the hope in his voice.

Shaking your head, you offered him a weak smile. "Never mind. Long day, is all. Thanks for not letting me become roadkill."

"It's no problem," he replied, still with that haunted look in his eyes.

You looked at him for another moment before clearing your throat. "Right. I'm gonna head home now. Thanks again."

This time, you made sure to look both ways before trying to cross the street. Right as you reached the other side, however, the boy called out: "Wait! Can I walk you home?"

Your mouth acted before your brain could catch up. "Sure."

Then you wondered why you had said that. Just because he saved your life, didn't mean you could trust this guy. But still you waited until he reached your side of the street.

"I don't usually agree to let strangers walk me home," you said, feeling a little awkward about it.

"I don't usually offer to walk strangers home," the boy joked, "so there's that."

"Huh. That seemed exactly like your sort of thing."

His joking tone became a nervous chuckle. "You have no idea. But if it makes you feel better: my name's- it's Peter. Parker."

That name. It stirred something inside the deepest, darkest parts of your mind. The ones that had been driving you to the edge for weeks now. It wasn't something bad, though. It felt like some great weight had just been lifted off your shoulders.

"Hi, Peter Parker," you giggled, giddy that maybe this would all be over now. "I'm (Y/N) (L/N)."

He cast a quick, sideways glance at you. "It's nice to meet you, (Y/N)."

There was definitely more to his wistful tone than you could understand, but you weren't about to ask him. After all, he had been kind enough not to ask why you looked like hell incarnated.

When you came to a halt in front of your house, Peter looked as if he didn't want to go. You stood on the front steps, hesitating between doing the smart thing, and doing what your heart wanted.

"Thanks again," you said, stalling as you tried to make up your mind. "I'd probably be a pancake if you hadn't been there."

"It's fine," he assured you for the fifth time in twenty minutes. "I, uh- I was wondering if maybe... Could we-"

You watched him stumble over his words for a bit. "Yes?"

"Could I get your number?" he then blurted out, so quickly you had trouble understanding.

Huh. Seems like he feels the same as me, you thought as you bouned back down the steps towards him. You wouldn't usually have done this, but you had felt better in that twenty minute walk with Peter than you had in the past two months. "Sure. Give me your phone."

As you saved your number, you noticed there were no other contacts listed. Strange. You didn't comment on it as you handed his phone back to him.

"Text me when you get home," you told him.

"I will," he promised. "And maybe next time, we'll both be a little less of a mess." He grinned to himself. "Hey, that rhymed."

He was haunted and you were a mess, but as you looked at that grin, you felt like it might be okay.

#mcu spiderman #spiderman #mcu peter parker #peter parker #peter parker x reader #oneshot #spiderman x reader #mcu #marvel #marvel oneshot #mcu oneshot #no way home #sm nwh #spiderman nwh #spiderman now way home spoilers #spiderman no way home #no way home spoilers #nwh spoilers

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marwritesgood · 3 years

Text

Unplanned | M. Martinez

Pairing: Mario x Diaz!Reader

Timeframe: Season 2

Summary: Y/n and Mario must tell their families about her pregnancy.

masterlist

PART ONE

A/N: This was so much fun to write (also INCREDIBLY sad for me, but that’s moreso bc I’m a very emotional person lmao).

This is a long overdue second part to Planned.

I initially intended to write this and then write Rewrite as a part 3, but I ultimately decided to make Rewrite a stand-alone because of how much detail I wanted to put into it.

Think of this, then, as a prelude of sorts :)

My hands shook as I entered the door to my boyfriend’s dorm. Mario was expecting me over to have dinner and watch a movie with him while his roommate was out of town. I would have arrived sooner if it had not been for the notification I got alerting me that I had not had my period in over two months.

“Mario,” I said worriedly the minute I entered his room, slamming the door shut behind me. He was approaching me for our usual kiss ‘hello’ but stopped in his tracks when he realised how panicked I was. “I’m late.”

“What are you talking about?”

I gulped. Mario was a smart guy, even if his brain had the tendency to lag for a minutes. It only took him a few seconds to realise what I was referring to, and what it could mean for us.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

It had not yet began to settle in me until that moment. All I remembered was reading my notification and practically sprinting to Mario’s dorm. He must have noticed my anxiety grow, because he quickly wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“Hey,” Mario whispered as he rubbed my back soothingly. He then pulled away and placed his hands on the side of my face. I could tell he was scared. Terrified even. Yet, he was trying so hard to be brace for the both of us. “We’ll- We’ll go to Walgreens, get some tests and... and we’ll figure it out from there.”

His words helped keep me from spiralling. There would be plenty of time for that later. About 8 whole months, to be precise. For now, we needed to be sure, and Mario was right. We needed to make the trip to Walgreens first, before we could do any of the freaking out I had already made a head-start on.

“Ok,” I replied, nodding as placed my hands over my eyes momentarily. Mario reached for his wallet and then for my hand, squeezing it gently. “Yeah, let’s go.”

I tried to keep my head clear while he and I sped to the nearest Walgreens to our campus. Test first, panic later, I told myself. However, the closer we got to Walgreens the more I became conscious of just how hard my heart was pounding against my chest.

Was that a sign of pregnancy?

Mario would catch me beginning to spiral and do his best to calm me down. He squeezed my hand as we dodged pedestrians and oncoming vehicles. He kissed my temple softly as we waited in line. Even when we got home, he pulled me into his embrace briefly before I went into the girls’ bathroom and took the tests.

Once I was done doing my part for the four different tests we ended up buying, Mario and I sat on the floor of his dorm room and waited for the timer on his phone to sound. He had ordered Chinese takeout for the both of us, but by the time we got back it was already cold, which made no difference.

We were far too antsy to hold anything down.

“Hey,” Mario whispered. My head was rested on his shoulder and our hands were intertwined on my lap. “No matter what happens... I’m with you all the way.”

I let out a weak chuckle and turned my head to kiss the fabric over his shoulder lightly. I knew where Mario’s loyalty laid. I always knew. However, him reaffirming it still gave me some ounce of peace in the whirlwind of panic I was in. That both of us were in.

He reached for phone to check how much time we had left.

“Two more minutes,” he said. It felt like we had been sitting there in anticipation for a lifetime. I could not tell if I wanted time to move slower or faster. All I knew was that I was not yet ready to make any decisions.

If it were negative, Mario and I would be relieved, I knew that much. Maybe we would laugh about it in a couple months. Maybe we would be extra cautious. Maybe we would even go on to tell our friends about it by the time we were graduated and working in fancy white collar jobs.

If it were negative, we could stay in college.

As guilty as I felt doing it, I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped for just one line. Just one line on all four tests. Even when the sound of the timer rang and filled the previously dauntingly silent room, I continued to hope.

“You check two and I’ll check the other two?”

Mario nodded before reaching for two of the tests, just as I grabbed the other two. I inhaled sharply as I glanced between the two in my hand. I wanted to believe there was just the one prominent line, but I could not deny the faint second one. Not even if I wanted to.

Looking up, Mario and I glanced at the tests we held. I sighed, seeing no point in holding my breath anymore. There were eight lines altogether. Mario squeezed my hand once more, and I wished it brought me comfort.

But it didn’t.

***

The week after we found out, Mario and I packed our things and headed back to Freeridge before the New Year. On the car ride, we did nothing but talk. He practised telling the news to his parents, and I practised telling it to Oscar.

It was all we could do.

By the time we reached our neighbourhood, it was dusk. The streetlights were on and people seemed to be gathering at their respective households for when midnight eventually struck.

“Pregnant?!”

After Mario broke the news to his parents mere minutes after we made our surprise entrance, Geny pulled us into the kitchen. This time, I was the one who reached for Mario’s hand and squeezed it gently. His mother was the one person he was most scared to tell, with my brother coming in at a close second.

“Have you two thought about what you’re gonna do?” Geny was technically whispering, but it was just as piercing as when she yelled. I hated the thought of her being mad at us, so I could hardly imagine how Mario was feeling. Much to my surprise, when I looked over at him, he was holding it together.

“We’ve been saving,” he explained calmly. He and I had been putting aside as much money as we could so we could find accomodation together for the following school year. It seemed my birth control and his split condom had other plans for that money. “And I’m gonna look for a job, and Y/n will too after the baby comes.”

Geny huffed. I took it she was somewhat relieved that we were taking my pregnancy seriously. She glanced between the two of us and sighed.

“I am not happy about this,” she began. “In fact, I’m very disappointed... In both of you.”

My breath hitched. It was painful to know her disappointment extended to me as well, especially considering she was the only mother figure I had in my life. Yet, beneath that pain was a small joy. If she was disappointed in me, it meant she had high expectations for me to begin with.

Even with everything that was happening, that meant a lot to me. From the way she looked at me as she spoke, I knew it carried much weight for her too.

“But I’m glad you have a plan,” Geny continued. I glanced up at Mario and smiled when I noticed how quickly his shoulders relaxed. “... And I’m glad you came home.”

Mario kissed his mother’s cheek swiftly before leaving the kitchen. In hindsight, we should have known Geny would come around, but our nerves had us questioning everything on the car ride home. Just as I turned to follow Mario, Geny reached for my and kept me from leaving.

“Mija,” she said softly, prompting me to turn around. It was a relief to her call me that. Part of me feared she would not be so kind to me after finding out I was the reason her son had to leave college.

Geny met my eyes with concern. There was a strange softness to her demeanour now that it was just the two of us.

“Have you told your brother yet?”

I shook my head. My stomach dropped at the realisation that the hard part was not yet over. Maybe it was for Mario, whose mother meant the world to him. But for me, the girl who had no parents or grandparents present in her life, the har part was yet to come.

“I’m telling him after dinner.”

Geny nodded, before pursing her lips. For a moment, she was stared blankly as she thought.

“If anything happens...” Before she could specify, Geny quickly stopped herself. Instead, she gripped my hands tightly and looked me in the eye with sincerity. “This is your home too.”

If it were not for the wild animals doing jumping jacks in the pit of my stomach, I would have been greatly comforted by Geny’s promise of a place to stay. However, the prospect of needing to crash there brought me great terror.

In the midst of all my spiralling, I never once considered the possibility that Oscar would throw me out of our home. When we gathered around the dining table and ate, all I could do was count down the minutes before I would have to face my fate.

After dinner, Mario and I walked with Cesar to my house. My little brother must have known I was a nervous wreck, because he tried to keep my mind occupied by catching me up on what he and his friends had gotten up to over the fall.

However, by the time we reached our doorstep, Cesar was silent. When Oscar opened the door and let us in, my little brother bolted towards his bedroom and locked his door. Mario and I sat with Oscar at the kitchen table.

“Why are you back so early?”

He greeted us somewhat gleefully when he opened the door, but it must have dawned on him that we were back for a reason, because his expression returned to its natural state: half-stoic and half-brooding.

“We- uhm,” I coughed nervously as I shuffle in my seat. I looked over to Mario for moral support, but he looked petrified as he watched my brother chop the vegetable he was using for tamales. “We needed to tell you something... To tell everyone something.”

Oscar did not acknowledge my words. Instead, he just continued chopping. I knew it was him waiting to hear the new fully before deciding how he would react. I always felt nervous when he did that, but it did not come close to how anxious I felt that day.

“I’m pregnant.”

Finally, Oscar put his knife down and stared blankly at the vegetables on his chopping board. I waited for him to say something, but when he remained silent I opted to continue explaining mine and Mario’s situation.

“We found out last week,” I continued. “That’s why we’re back.”

As scared as I was, I inched forward and leaned over the table, trying to get a closer look at Oscar. He was not the most talkative person, but I had never witnessed him be so quiet, especially to me, of all people.

“Say something,” I whispered.

I desperately needed him to lecture me, because I knew after the lecture he would do everything he could to support me. Even if he knew nothing about pregnancy or about babies. He would be there for me, because even though we grew up with no parents, we always had each other.

“Mano,” I called out, hoping it would provoke a reaction. “... please.”

Slowly, Oscar looked up and met my gaze with a steely glare. He inhaled sharply, flaring his nostrils as he did so. I instinctively moved back.

“This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

His voice was not loud. He was not shouting. And yet, I had to keep myself from flinching, because his tone was so cold.

“I wouldn’t say that,” I said uneasily, trying to muster a smile despite how tense the room was. Poor Mario did not dare move a muscle. “Remember the time I left my sunglasses on the barbecue?”

“You think you’re funny?”

“I think I’m trying to ease the tension,” I corrected.

Perhaps it was a miscalculation on my part. Perhaps a pregnancy announcement was not the appropriate moment for an anecdote, but it was a knee-jerk reaction. I just could not understand.

“Why are you being like this?”

“How’d you think I was gonna be, Y/n?” Now he was beginning to shout. “You’re barely nineteen! You realise that’s the same age mom was when she had me.”

“Woah,” I flinched.

I thought we had moved past bringing up our parents in the heat of our arguments. I thought we decided they inflicted enough trauma on the two of us and Cesar. I thought we agreed that we did not need to inflict any more onto each other.

“You’ve ruined your life,” Oscar spat, expressing absolutely no remorse for comparing me to our mother. My gaze was beginning to turn into a glare. “You realise that?”

I quickly glanced at Mario and he appeared just as startled as I felt. Though it was a well-known fact that Oscar was an intimidating person, when it came to me that was hardly the case. It seemed he was choosing this moment to prove us both wrong.

Disgruntled, Oscar rose from his seat and turned to head towards the sink. Just as he did, he quickly turned back to face me. I braced myself for his next words. How else was he gonna be cruel and completely humiliate me in my own home and in front of my boyfriend?

“And after everything,” he hissed. “After everything I’ve done for you... to make sure you didn’t end up the same way...”

I scoffed before he could finish his sentence, knowing exactly where he was going with it. I could recount every lecture he gave me about not ending up like our parents. About trying to be better.

The irony in him lecturing me about following in our mother’s footsteps when he was being so masterfully cruel to me in a way that brought me back to the few times our dad made an appearance.

“Fuck you,” I shouted at him as I stood from my chair. “I didn’t realise we were keeping track of the things we’ve done for each other.”

“Don’t turn this around on me,” Oscar snarled. Of course, he could never do any wrong. Not in his eyes. “You’re the one who fucked up. And now I gotta clean your mess just like I always have to.”

He turned and headed towards the kitchen, which only infuriated me more. He had grown too accustomed to having his way. To being surrounded by people who worshipped the ground he walked on. I furrowed my brows in frustration as I watched him continue on with making his food, like we were suddenly don with our conversation just because he wanted it to be so.

How could he say that to me? After everything? I could not let him have the last word. Just as I went to follow him, Mario’s hand quickly gripped mine.

“Y/n-”

I shook my hand free and approached my big brother, much to Mario’s dismay. I knew he was trying to defuse the situation, but it was not the simple. It was clear this was not about us anymore. It was between me and my brother.

“No... You don’t get to talk to me like this, Oscar,” I barked as I walked up to him. He was going to regret ever teaching me to fight back. “You don’t have a monopoly over making sacrifices or cleaning messes.”

Had he forgotten all the times I covered him? Lying to the cops when they questioned me about what he was up to. Lying to Child Protective Services about his whereabouts so they would not put Cesar in the system. Singlehandedly keeping the fort down when he was locked up.

Never once did I hold it against him, or try to make him feel guilty for putting me in a difficult position time and time again.

When Oscar turned to face me, I sighed defeatedly. As horrible as he was being, I could not keep arguing with him. Not when I already had so much to deal with.

“I know I messed up,” I admitted. “... and I’m not asking you to be happy about all this. I’m asking you to just support me... Just be my big brother.”

He had a tendency to forget that. He spent so many years fulfilling fatherly responsibilities for Cesar, sometimes he would forget I was not a little kid. That I did not need him to be anything more than what he was for me. My brother.

“From where I stand,” Oscar sneered. “I don’t have a sister anymore.”

My face fell, as did my stomach. I knew he would be mad. I knew he might even say some things that he would later regret and apologise for, but there was no way I could have prepared myself for that. And there was no coming back from it either.

He took a step closer to me and it took everything in me not to cower and move back. I refused to give him that satisfaction. He puffed his chest and glared at me like I was some dude him and his gang mates were trying to intimidate.

“Take your shit and don’t ever come back here again.”

My eyes watered immediately, but thankfully he turn his back on me and headed for his room. With blurred vision, I trailed after him. I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to scold him for treating me like this when I always had his back when things went south for him.

When we were halfway down the hallway, all I could think about was how small he made me feel. How much joy he seemed to take in making me feel ashamed for something I never asked to happen. How he treated his stupid homies with twice the respect and twice the dignity than he did me.

“Y’know it’s too bad I’m not a Santo,” I shouted at him, hoping he would stop and face me, but he just kept walking. “Maybe then you’d have my back.”

I was so sure that would get a reaction out of him, but I should have known he had too much pride for that. He slammed his door right in my face and left me with nothing left to do but scream at him from where I stood.

Eventually Mario came and comforted me before helping me gather the rest of my belongings from my bedroom. Eventually Cesar came out to help take my things to Mario’s. But, even when I walked out the door for the last time and headed down the street, I hoped Oscar would come out and say something.

He never did.

***

When April eventually rolled by, I gave up hoping that Oscar would come around. Lugging around a tiny human everywhere I went helped me take my mind off it at times, but as my baby grew so did my worries. I quickly found myself haunted, everywhere I was, by the way Oscar compared me to our mom.

Even as I washed the dirty dishes, one of the few chores Geny and abuelita allowed me to do, I could not keep my worries at bay. It did not help that everyone was out of the house leaving me and my thoughts.

Thankfully, by the time I got to cleaning the dirty plates, the front door burst open and in came Mario bearing food from his job at Dwayne’s barbecue joint.

“Hey, baby,” he called out as he approached the table to put the food down.

“Hey,” I said mindlessly as I turned face him. Just as I did so the wet plate in my hand fell and shattered when it hit the ground, prompting Mario to race to the kitchen.

“Woah, be careful.”

Mario immediately searched for the broom, while I did my best to not cry. As much as I blamed it on the pregnancy hormones, I knew it was not fair to attribute all my emotional outbursts to the fact that I was growing life inside me. A lot of it had to do with my fight with Oscar and my own fears, but it was just easier for me to avoid talking about it.

“Oh my god,” I cried, clasping my hand over my mouth as I wept. The poor plate did not even see it coming. That was upsetting to me on its own, but I knew there was so much more to it than that. Mario did too.

“Baby, it’s ok,” he assured as he swiftly swept and disposed the shards of broken ceramic. “This plate was from Costco. I’m pretty sure my mom has more just like it stored in the garage somewhere.”

Perhaps that alleviated my grief over the broken plate, but it did not exactly fix my relationship with my brother nor did it calm my anxieties about motherhood.

“Y/n? Baby, what’s wrong?”

“... I don’t know,” I whispered, frustrated by it all.

Before I knew it, Mario planted himself on the kitchen floor and leaned his back against the white refrigerator. Smiling, he patted the empty spot beside him.

“Sit with me.”

“I’m not gonna be able to get up again,” I reminded him, as I gestured towards my protruding abdomen. I struggled just getting up from the living room couch.

“I’ll help you up,” Mario insisted. “Just sit with me for bit.”

I sighed before kneeling down so I could sit beside him.

“Is this about Oscar?”

“Yeah,” I answered sheepishly. We only talked about what had happened a couple times, and each time I refused to let on how much it was affecting me. Truthfully, it was because if I admitted to that I would eventually have to admit to everything else that was weighing on me. “Him and... everything else.”

I turned to Mario and he did not say anything. Instead he placed his hand over mine and stayed quiet so I could talk. I smiled gratefully, before inhaling sharply. I knew he liked how emotional I was as a pregnant woman but I, for one, hated how suffocated I was by all of feelings that bombarded me constantly.

“This isn’t the life I wanted,” I huffed, tilting my head back so I could stare at the ceiling. It was easier than looking Mario in the eye. I was never good as this. Not like he was. “I always hoped by the time we had kids we’d be able to give them what we never got…”

Yet, there I was, sentencing my kid to the same life I had on the same streets that swallowed up so many of the people in my life.

“Now I just feel like my mom.”

Young and stupid. Diving headfirst into motherhood when I was nowhere near ready for the responsibility that came with it. Maybe I would end up just like her too. Maybe my baby would grow to resent me just as I did her.

“Baby don’t say that,” Mario spoke. I sniffled as I wiped my eyes. I was not expecting him to get it. How could he?

“We just worked so hard to get out,” I whimpered, thinking back to all the work Mario and I put into school and into our college applications. “And I promised Cesar I would come back and get him out too… but now we’re back with nothing to show for it.”

“I know,” Mario whispered defeatedly.

Everyone in Freeridge had such high hopes for the two of us when we left for college. Everyone was expecting us to make it and to come back and share our joy and our wealth with the people who raised us. Mario and I had every intention of doing that, yet there we were.

“You know the hardest part wasn’t even coming back and telling everyone,” I said honestly. “... It was the look on Oscar’s face when he said he didn’t have a sister anymore.”

Mario could not say anything. Instead he just held my hand and sat in silence with me for a bit. Fortunately, that was all I wanted him to do.

***

Near the end of the month, Ruby had the bright idea of hosting a baby shower. He initially envisioned a huge party with all of Mario’s distant relatives, but after a bit of bribery and begging he eventually agreed to keep it small.

“Ok,” Ruby began as he wheeled in a huge chalkboard he apparently ‘borrowed’ from their high school. “Now we’re each gonna nominate a name for the baby.”

“Oh and just a disclaimer,” Mario said before his little brother could continue. “Y/n and I reserve the right not to choose any of the names you give us.”

While we were mostly confident the kids would come up with decent ideas for names, we felt it necessary to cover our bases. From what Jamal told me during our many conversations while he waited for Ruby, they got up to a lot over the past year.

“So why are we doing this?” Jasmine asked.

“Because, we’ve been struggling to come up with names for a while,” I answered. “So take this seriously, guys, okay?”

“I’ll go first,” Ruby announced as he reached for the chalk. He pulled out a foot stool and stood on it so he write his name ideas at the top of the board. “If it’s a girl, Marisol. If it’s a boy, Ruby junior.”

I took one look at Mario and bursted out laughing. I knew Ruby was completely serious, as so did Mario, which made it all the more amusing. Before Monse could rise from her seat and announce her name ideas next, there was a loud know at the door.

“I’ll get it.”

Usually I would not have volunteered to answer the door, but it was still daylight and we were expecting abuelita to arrive at any minute with some extra food. However, when I opened the door and realised who it was, I quickly regretted my decision.

“Can we talk?”

Oscar glanced inside before speaking. His tone was quiet, almost sheepish, and I knew then that he was here to make amends. However, that did not mean I could not give him a hard time.

“I thought I wasn’t your sister anymore,” I sneered.

His expression grew even more pained.

“Please?”

I had no idea that word was even in his vocabulary. As hurt and annoyed as I was, I knew I was grateful he was here and that we were speaking to each other the for the first time in months. Closing the door behind me, I waddled towards the seats on the porch and Oscar sat beside me.

“I’m sorry,” he said not a second after he sat himself down. That was yet another phrase I never knew he had the capacity to say. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t have.”

I studied his expression closely. It was nice he was apologising, but that did not exactly explain why he acted to cruelly towards me. I wanted that just as much as I wanted the apology.

“When you told me, I just,” Oscar paused for a minute and thought. After a moments deliberation, he continued on. “I never expected this to happen to you.”

“Neither did I,” I shrugged.

I understood his sentiment, I did. No one expects the girl with the full-ride scholarship and the pressure of overcoming generational poverty to get knocked up. However, if I was able to wrap my head around it enough to get on board while carrying the damn baby, Oscar could have at least accepted it without calling me a failure.

“I’m just used to you being the one keeping things together,” he added defeatedly.

“That doesn’t make what you did ok,” I argued.

“... I know,” he said bashfully.

“Oscar, look, Mario… he has his mom, his dad and abuelita. But for me, I just have you. You’re all I’ve got. I need to know I can count on you.”

My brother nodded. I could tell it pained him when I phrased the situation like that. It hurt to know that Mario had three people in his corner, yet I had no one.

“You know, before I was ever Santo. Before I was ever anything... I was your big brother,” Oscar explained, a small smile peeking through as he spoke. “That’s how it will always be.”

I smiled as I thought about how inseparable we were growing up. Before we had to take on the responsibility of looking after Cesar. Before it hit us that we were practically on our own. Before we had to grow up too quickly. Before all of that, we were just two siblings strolling along the streets of our block like it was our empire.

We found ourselves staring out onto those very streets again from where we sat. Maybe it would not be such a bad place for my kid.

“I love you, mana,” Oscar said, his eyes still glued to the road in front of us.

“I love you too,” I replied.

Just as I spoke, a mother and her daughter drove by in a battered station wagon, and it sent me back to the worst corners of my childhood memories. Of my mom driving me around in her station wagon and me trying to savour the feeling of her presence before she upped and left again.

”... What if I’m just like them?” I asked quietly.

“You won’t be,” Oscar answered, not a beat after I finished speaking.

“How can you be so sure?”

“You won’t be.”

It should have been enough. It should have been enough to convince me. However, even after we got up and returned to the baby shower, I could not shake the feeling that it was my destiny. That, no matter what I did, I would end up becoming some abominable mix of parents and raise hurt and traumatised kids just as mine did.

I placed my hand on my belly and breathed deeply. In just a matter of months, my fate would unfold. All I could do was hope my baby would make it.

“How are the baby names coming along?” I asked cheerfully, forcing a smile as I glanced at the chalkboard that was now halfway filled with baby names.

“Cesar’s up now,” Mario explained to me as he got out of his seat so I could sit down. I thanked him quietly as I took lowered myself onto his chair and he stood behind me with his hands hovering lazily over my shoulders.

“Ok, if it’s a girl, Elena,” Cesar said as he wrote his idea on the board. “And if it’s a boy... Manuel.”

I grinned. I could not place my finger on it, but something about that name felt right. Call it intuition or instinct. Either way, it was definitely far more appealing than Ruby junior.

“Manuel?” I repeated, before looking up at Mario who matched my expression. It seemed we had at least one name banked. “I really like that one.”

Mario leaned forward and kissed my temple softly. As the baby shower continued, I found myself finally able to cast my worries aside if at least for the time being. I was convinced there would be plenty of time for that later.

NEXT PART

#mario martinez imagine #mario martinez x reader #on my block imagines #Mario Martinez #mario x reader #on my block fanfiction #on my block

219 notes · View notes

kokokabana · 2 years

Text

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞

✧ Salvatore Luciano ✧ Mafia Underboss ✧ interests: sports, music, travel, movies, shopping, true crime

Is it really a spoiler if I write his true occupation in the description, I mean come on! But yeah, some Romeo and Juliet drama going on with a lot of sexual tension.

« 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

#1 Texting

✧ I’m looking for YOU, MC → 😱 | 😍!

✧ Finally. A man who knows what he wants. | Hm, how can you be so sure? | LMAO. That linke actually work for you here?

✧ Hey, YOU’RE the mysterious one 😜 | I’m an open book here! | Every good romance needs a bit of mystery 😏

✧ Working together with your family sounds nice | Tell me about YOUR daddy issues, Mr. Luciano | At least your dad is there for you…

✧ It’s the only thing that makes sense! | You’re way too hot to be real! | I knew something was FISHY about you

✧ 1st GC for 180 💎 -> 💦! | 🔥

✧ By taking you on a date, of course. → 🎉! | 😮

✧-✧-✧

#2 First Date

✧ Non preoccuparti, va bene. Being fashionably late is actually very Italian. → 😐 | 🥹!

✧ I swear I’m usually punctual! | It would take a miracle for me to get anywhere in time | I’m worth waiting on me, trust me 😏

✧ That sounds perfect 😍 | An Italian taking me to an Italian restaurant… groundbreaking 😜 | PIZZA??? 🥹

✧-✧-✧

#3 Texting

✧ Sorry, what?! Is this a real question? | Hey. Fuck you! | Actually, your bed was surprisingly soft…

✧ free clothing item 🎁 (green dress and blue suit)

✧-✧-✧

#4 Texting

✧ That’s fucking creepy. | You seemed uncomfortable. | Relax, I don’t care.

✧ I don’t understand. | Well, keep waiting, you’ll never get it. | Well, hop on it, buckaroo, you got it!

✧ Super creepy. | Very kind of you. | Bad for your health.

✧ Oh my God, finally! Thank you! | What’s it like on the outside? What have I missed? | Is this some kind of trick?

✧-✧-✧

#5 Second Date

✧ Try to seduce Salvatore (gem choice for 180 💎) | Try to connect with Salvatore instead. (gem scene for 150 💎) | Don’t make any moves just yet. -> 1st is like a steamy hot telenovela scene if you like that hehe. 2nd choice is him talking about his hobby

✧ Especially after you looked so delightful wearing my gift -> 😉 | 🥹! (gift related)

✧-✧-✧

#6 Texting

✧ I enjoyed it too, surprisingly. | I never thought you were a monster | The jury is still out on that one...

✧ No, I’ve decided you can have access to the villa. -> 🎉! | 🤔

✧ Maybe I can get used to this after all 😍

✧ I’m not trying to shut you out, MC. -> 🙄 | 🙏!

✧ That’s cute that you think I need protecting. 😉 (gem option for 150 💎) | Fine. | Okay, let me be direct with you (gem option for 120 💎)

✧ Right now, the only person hurting me is you 💔 | Then just tell me who you’re protecting me from! | Yeah, you’re clearly one of them!

✧-✧-✧

#7 Texting and Shopping Trip

✧ Of course, I’m always on my best behavior 🥹 | Just waiting for you to get back before I cause trouble 😜 | I’ve been the most well-behaved prisoner ever 🙄

✧ That’s a fair point… -> 👏! | 😳

✧ Don’t worry, I’ll play nice | You can expect an extremely high credit card bill this month | I’ll cooperate for now, but you can control me forever

✧ Knock him down and run. (gem choice for 180 💎) | Call him on his bluff. (gem choice for 150 💎) | Don’t do anything.

-> for the 2nd option, you get a boost but you still run off

✧-✧-✧

#8 Texting

✧ I expect you to give me the benefit of the doubt | I don’t want to go backwards with you… | I am NOT a fucking Rossi

✧ I’m getting too close to you. -> 🙄 | 😍!

✧ Trust me then! Let me tell you the truth about what happened. (gem choice for 150 💎) | I don’t know what else to say… | Let’s just forget about what happened 🥺 (gem choice for 120 💎) -> not worth it because you just explain yourself fuck no

✧ Look, I’m sorry… | Why do you always shut me out? | Don’t expect an apology from me

✧-✧-✧

#9 Texting & Third Date

✧ Should I be scared? | Visiting hours are over! Come back later | Okay. I’ll be waiting.

✧ Take me, right here and now. (gem choice for 180 💎) | Shut up and kiss me already. (gem choice for 150 💎) | Just hold me. -> we get a naked salvatore sprite and a telenovela sex scene, recommend

✧ I’ll do everything I can to protect you -> ❤! | 😣

✧-✧-✧

#10 Texting

✧ I was worried about you | What did “the family” ask you to do this time? | It feels like you’re hiding something…

✧ Sorry, but we’re past that point Salvatore | Don’t try to shut me down because you’re uncomfortable | No, I’m not gonna DROP it!

✧ Except for leaving you alone. -> 😐 | 🥹!

✧ I don’t want this to be the end for us, I really don’t. -> 😭! | ☹️

✧ I promise you it won’t be the end | Did you really think we were heading toward a happy ending? | This was a fling, not a love story

✧ 2nd CG for 300 💎

✧-✧-✧

#11 Texting and Fourth Date

✧ This isn’t ideal for me either. In fact, it’s shit -> 😐 | ❤️!

✧ I’m trying to be strong for you | Well, I have to, don’t I? | Actually, I’m terrified…

✧ Well, don’t sell your soul on my account… Does that make me the Devil’s spawn? | …Are you sure I have to go?

✧ Grab Salvatore’s gun and start shooting. (gem choice for 180 💎) | Throw yourself over Salvatore to cover him. (gem choice for 120 💎) | Try to appeal to Roberto as your father. -> boost and action scenes, you get to curse out the enemy and be a fucking badass, worth it

✧-✧-✧

#12 Texting

✧ Ciao?! Is that all you have to say?? | Oh my God, YOU’RE alive! | Sorry, those texts were a bit overdramatic…

✧ I’m touched that you were so worried about me. -> 😘! | 🙂

✧ I’m glad you aren't joining the Rossi family. -> 😳 | 🥹!

✧ I didn’t want to leave you in the first place | This feels like the safest place I could be | I just wish I was here by choice…

✧ My loyalty lies with you (gem choice for 180 💎) | I don’t know where my loyalties lie | My loyalties are with whoever lets me get revenge on Roberto Rossi (gem choice for 150 💎) -> 2.5 screens of dialogue but it’s mostly you explaining your feelings

✧ Good because I need you now more than ever | Damn, mafia men really are loyal. |Then please try to be less reckless!

✧-✧-✧

Full Relationship Bar

-> depending on how many gem scenes you’ve bought and therefore filled up the bar four times, you’ll get the following 3rd GC for free sooner or later

✧-✧-✧

#13 Texting

✧ Don’t push yourself too hard! | suck it up. | Maybe, I dunno, take a break??

✧ Is that all? | Not as much as I do. | Yike.

✧ Something like that. But it needs to be a strong message. We need to show him he can’t fuck with our family. -> 👏! | 😬

✧ 4th CG for 300 💎 -> 😳 | 🔥!

✧ You, MC. -> 😮 | ❤️!

✧-✧-✧

#14 Texting & Fifth Date

✧ Don’t worry, I’ve got this under control | I’ll have him wrapped around my finger. | What happens if I don’t?

-> It worked on you, didn’t it? | I think you’re underestimating my charm | Ew WTF why would I do that???

✧ I’m ALWAYS paying attention | Sometimes I’m not 😜 | It’s called selective hearing

✧ You’re definitely about to be judged. -> 😭! | 😐

✧ I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen | I’m still not fully sure where my loyalties lie... | Does he see reason when it comes to a Rossi?

✧ Make sure there is no doubt that the Rossi's are your enemy. -> 😫 | 👏!

✧ Let me join the Luciano family! (gem choice for 210 💎) | Let me prove myself to you! (gem choice for 180 💎) | Drop to your knees.

-> huge boost and you get to defend yourself impressively but tbh that’s about it. the real action scene happens on every choice, not really worth it but anything for Salvatore and my pride refused to fall on my knees and beg

✧-✧-✧

#15 Texting

✧ I stayed right next to you all night. | Halfway through last night, I moved to a guest room. | No, I just got up early.

✧ But you handled yourself so well. -> 😍! | 🙄

✧ But you’re going to help me, right? | Can’t you just slip me the answer key or something? | Don’t worry about me, I was born ready

✧ This is not what I signed up for. | So, basically high school all over again | It takes a lot more than that to break me

✧ Yeah, I experienced that first hand. | I just want to protect you | That means there’s no room for error

✧ I know it must be nerve wracking, but I promise I’ll guide you through this. -> 😬 | ❤️!

✧ I trust you with my life (gem choice for 180 💎) | Trust is earned, Salvatore. | I trust you, not your family (gem choice for 150 💎)

-> five screens of love confession without directly saying the three words, very passionate and fitting to the dramatic scene, worth it

✧ clothing item 🎁 (black dress shirt for 60 💎)

✧-✧-✧

#16 Texting & Sixth Date

✧ Today is a very special day. -> 🥂! | 🤔

✧ Hell yeah, it’s training day! 😎 | I’m nervous af, but I think I’m ready 😬 | The two week anniversary of my kidnapping?? 😍

✧ We’re going to be shooting guns. -> 😬 | 👏!

✧ Show me what you’ve got. (gem choice for 210 💎) | No fooling around. Let’s skip to the advanced techniques. (gem choice for 💎) | I could use some pointers.

-> only for boost

✧-✧-✧

#17 Texting

✧ Is this... a REAL date? | This had better not be another kidnapping attempt. | It would be good to get away from your family for a bit

✧ I’m looking forward to getting some alone time with you. -> 💦! | 😳

✧ Partner.. in crime? | Oh so are we like... official? | It might be a little early for partners…

✧-✧-✧

#18 Texting & Seventh Date

✧ But one of Rossi’s men was just apprehended outside the villa. He was trying to spy on our operations. -> 😐 | 😱!

✧ I’ll make that bastard sing by whatever means necessary. (gem choice for 210 💎) | I’ll make him talk, but | won’t resort to violence. (gem choice for 180 💎) | I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this.

-> currently saving up for gems

to be played…

#kikkis.guides #lovelink guides #salvatore luciano #lovelink salvatore #ludia lovelink #lovelink #kikkis.swiping #kikkis.stuff

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

Could we please have a prequel to the praise kink fic? Because i really want to know why were Sirius and Remus not together and what did Remus send him. I really need context

I was hoping somebody would ask for this!! The aforementioned fic is here for any curious souls (18+ please) and SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for spicy texts (not exactly nudes), and smutty feelings with nothing explicit

The bus went over a bump and Sirius winced as his shins knocked against the back of the seat in front of him, connecting with the metal brace inside. “Fuck.”

“You sure you don’t want to switch?” James asked next to him. Sirius glanced down at the veritable wall of gear and empty snack bags between them, then back to James in disbelief. He shrugged, then set his headphones back over his ears. “Worth a shot.”

“Merde,” Sirius hissed as a pothole nearly took off his kneecap. He gritted his teeth and readjusted, drawing his legs closer to his chest. I want to be home, he thought, allowing himself an internal moment to whine.

He checked his phone—not even ten in the morning. It was a Saturday, so Remus would probably just be rolling out of bed, still sleepy and soft with his hair sticking up like a disgruntled cat’s. Sirius sighed heavily and stared out the window at the small town rolling past in the distance; there was little he wouldn’t give to be back with him instead of on the way to a full week of conferences.

“Why did we have to win the Cup?” he grumbled.

James lifted one side of his headphones. “What?”

“Nothing.”

It wasn’t like they had had much time to themselves before that, either—Sirius’ schedule was packed with interviews that felt more like interrogations, and Remus had been running the PT department mostly by himself while Moody took a well-deserved vacation. They were dead on their feet every night, worked to the bone with little energy left to do more than cuddle and fall asleep. Still, Sirius was grateful for every second of it.

He waited ten more minutes before giving in.

New Message To: Re

Bonjour mon loup <3

There was no immediate response, which made sense, though he was a little bit disappointed. Sirius closed his eyes and tried to make himself relax; it would be at least another six hours before they arrived at their destination, and the bad weather gathering overhead didn’t bode well for quick travel.

His phone buzzed gently and he scrambled to answer. Don’t be Reg, don’t be Reg, don’t be Reg—

New Message From: Re

Morning love!

Thanks for the bagels <3

“Fuck yes,” Sirius said under his breath. The bagels had been a last-minute decision as he crept through the house in the early hours of the morning after carefully detaching himself from Remus with a final half-asleep farewell kiss. There was no guarantee he would remember breakfast with everything going on, so Sirius figured it was a safe bet to toast them and leave them on the countertop before heading out.

Message To: Re

Pas de problem

Sleep well?

Message From: Re

Decent

Missed you :(

Sirius rested his temple against the cold window with a soft sound. He hated leaving at different times, but that was just how their life worked at the moment.

Message To: Re

Missed you too <3

Three small dots appeared for a long moment before vanishing without a trace just as his heart rate began picking up. Where’d you go? he almost wondered aloud. Something bumped his arm and James raised a quizzical brow. “Loops,” Sirius said by way of explanation.

“I figured. He okay?”

“I think so? He just…disappeared on me.” Sirius was well-aware of how plaintive he sounded—James’ teasing smile was completely unnecessary.

“Aw, Cap,” he laughed, reaching over to mess with his beanie until Sirius slapped his hand away. “It’s alright, buddy, it’s just a couple days.”

Sirius jammed his hat back on his head and flicked James on the unprotected bit of his ear, making him yelp. “Fuck off, I know you’ll be a mess as soon as Lily FaceTimes with my godson.”

“He has a name, you know.”

“Sorry. You’ll be a mess as soon as she FaceTimes with Pocket Pots, who happens to be my godson.”

James rolled his eyes. “I regret giving you that title.”

“Nah, you don’t.”

As if on cue, his phone lit up again; Sirius ignored James’ snickering as he quickly unlocked it.

New Message From: Re

When will you be at the hotel?

“That’s it?” he muttered.

Message To: Re

That was a lot of typing for one sentence

6-7 hrs, if the weather holds

Why?

Message From: Re

Sorry lmao Reg came in for a bit

Just curious :) Keep me updated?

Message To: Re

Will do <3

Tell Reg he needs to wash his sheets. It’s been over a month.

A small thumbs-up emoji was his only answer, and he tried not to be too bummed. Remus liked having things to do; sitting there and texting Sirius while he slowly got further and further away was probably not his preferred way to spend a morning. With a sigh that was likely a bit too dramatic for the situation he was in, Sirius faced the window once more and buckled in for a long ride.

He chatted off and on with the others when they stopped for lunch, but everyone was exhausted from the combination of a packed week and an early morning. Even Talker stayed fairly quiet, and James kept his headphones on for most of the trip.

Sirius finally succumbed to his tiredness and put some music on, then dozed for an hour or three while they traveled through yet another field. A few halfhearted calls of “cows” made their way around the bus, though nobody seemed particularly enthused about being packed in with double the gear due to a broken storage compartment. Donuts and gas station coffee could only do so much.

“Just crossed the state border,” Arthur called from the front of the bus as Sirius tried to ignore the cramping in his thighs. Three hours. Just three more.

His music was interrupted by a soft jingle alert and he pulled his phone out, hoping against hope that Regulus hadn’t caused a fire anywhere. It was unlikely given the…well, everything about him, but with Sirius’ luck it could happen.

New Message From: Re

How far?

Message To: Re

About 3 hrs. Ran into some detours

Good day?

Remus remained silent on the other end and Sirius frowned. That was rather rude, and highly unusual. Between the two of them, Remus was the one who kept conversations going past the initial question to be answered.

Message From: Re

Attachment: 1 Image

Love you! Call me when you get there : )

Sirius opened the attachment and almost threw his phone in utter shock. Skin. Bare skin everywhere, its smooth edges broken up only by tight black fabric that may as well have been painted onto the curve of Remus’ ass. “Oh my god,” he whimpered, voice barely audible even to his own ears. It had been taken in their bedroom mirror; Remus looked over his shoulder, and Sirius caught the corner of a devious smirk on his lips. “Oh, you fucker.”

Message From: Re

Thoughts? They’re cozy

Message To: Re

Did you miss the part where I said three (3) hours

Message From: Re

Nope

Second one is a guessing game and u get a prize if u get it right : )

The second photograph was more zoomed-in than the first and Sirius wracked his brain, running through his mental catalogue of Remus’ body to figure out the answer. It did absolutely nothing to calm the situation in his pants.

He had no idea what the promised prize was, but anticipation made his hands shake slightly as he carefully scanned the picture. The shadows caught it at an odd angle—it wasn’t the steady slopes of his face or neck, nor was it the strong curve of a shoulder. Not enough freckles, either, he thought.

A lightbulb lit in the back of his mind.

Message To: Re

Right hip

Another thought connected half a second later.

Holy fuck you took them off

Is that my prize?

Re?

Remus Lupin I swear to god

TEXT ME BACK

Message From: Re

Bingo!

Christ you’re impatient, I was gone for like 2 mins

He chanced a look toward Pots, whose head lolled to the side as he snored.

Message To: Re

Hey quick question why are you like this

It’s a good thing Pots is out cold bc this bus is too small to hide anything

Message From: Re

Haha sux to be you

Sirius’ cheeks heated with a whole cocktail of different emotions as he furiously typed a response.

Message To: Re

‘Sux to be you’???

Are you 13 yrs old????

Message From: Re

Do you want your prize or not u horndog

Message To: Re

YOU MADE ME THIS WAY

He took a deep breath through his nose and flexed his fingers.

Yes please

A simple smiley face—Sirius would never see those things the same—popped up, followed by an audio file. He triple-checked that his headphones were plugged in before tapping ‘play’ with an unsteady thumb.

His face went very, very hot before all the blood went straight to his groin and he closed his eyes, covering his mouth with his hand. Breathy sounds came through the heavy earphones, a little more crackly than they would be in-person; he heard Remus’ gasp catch in his throat and crossed his legs as best he could in the too-small seat, torn between thanking and cursing any higher power. He could practically see Remus’ face in his mind’s eye as the noises continued, intermixed with fragments of desperate words.

The file came to an end after what felt like the blink of an eye and a hundred years, and Sirius did not look away from the violently red seat cushion in front of him for a long moment as his brain came back online. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so turned on.

He took a few deep breaths, though it did nothing to erase the poorly-muffled whines that still rang between his ears like church bells. Sirius huffed and turned to grab his waterbottle out of his duffel, only to make direct eye contact with Finn across the aisle.

Sirius froze.

Finn grinned.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he hissed, too low to wake James but just loud enough to carry over the four feet separating them. Finn’s smile widened. “Stop it. Stop it right now.”

“How’s Loops?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“That good, huh?”

“O’Hara, I swear to god—”

“Oh, is Cap spilling secrets?” Kasey asked, poking his head over the back of the seat.

Finn opened his mouth, but the force of Sirius’ glare must have been enough to at least intimidate him a little, because he shook his head. The smug Cheshire grin remained. “Nah, just having a chat about our plans when we get home.”

Kasey groaned. “You’re a lucky man, O’Hara. Both your people get to come with you. Nat sent me a promise, like, twenty minutes ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. I won’t be available tonight from six to eight if anyone was wondering.”

“Did she really?” Finn looked back to Sirius, who bit the inside of his cheek and tried to keep his cool. Two and a half hours, and then he would be safe. Just two and a half more hours.

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biolizardboils · 3 years

Text

head’s still full of Mother EarthBound Thoughts so im gonna spill some here. (warning this’ll be super messy and also contain big honkin’ spoilers for all three games)

for context i played and beat EarthBound after it came out on Wii U, then Mother 3 in 2015. i tried Mother 1/Beginnings at some point, but sadly my immunity to Old Game Jank doesn’t extend past the mid-90's. im a relatively young Mom Fan is what im trying to say here

i havent seen anyone here talk about the vid they put out for the Switch ports?? pls watch it its so cute and in-line with the games’ humor! lets all get to know Ness!!

im still watching Curiomatic’s Mother 3 vid daily and im still noticing new details and shit. and their website's so good too?? felt!Boney has my whole heart

my brain's been on fire imagining how the other two games would look in the same style. and like. it feels criminal to ask so soon after 1 and 2 got Switch ports, but a full 3-games-in-1 remake would be so good for the series for two big reasons:

1. it could fix 1/Beginnings' Jank and tighten its translation, bringing it in line with the other two, and

2. its the one situation i can think of that would force Nintendo to localize 3. like can you imagine if they remade the whole series and then left it in Japan?? people would have their heads!

not to mention a game with a modern 3D engine would be leagues easier to edit than the sprite-based original. cus while im scared of NoA over-censoring the game as much as the next guy, there are a few things in it that could’ve been done more sensitively, and that altering wouldn’t harm the plot if done right. i doubt i need to name specifics

also on the selfish side, i just wanna know what would change in terms of visual design. i wanna see all the enemies move in battle and Pippi with beady eyes like everyone else and how they’d officially differentiate Ninten’s design from Ness’s, and most of all i REALLY wanna see official art of Beginnings!Giygas. i wish to grasp his true form so bad it makes me look stupid

not that i dont like the fandom’s agreed-on designs!! far from it, i love them!! like Giygas having red-and-black eyes as foreshadowing is genius and whoever first came up with it deserves an award

i made a party playlist in case 3 ever got localized back when i was more hopeful about it. how far back, you may ask? i included this unironically. that far lmao

one of my fave things about the series is how, despite being made in Japan, it pays homage to so many distinctly Western pop-cultural concepts that it’s instantly nostalgic to the average English-speaker. the Spielbergian coming-of-age film, the dot-eyed yet contemplative comic strip, the kitschy B-movie monsters, the King-esque entities conveying the loss of innocence, the pairing of psychedelia with an insistence on peace over war. for a funny parody of America, it’s fascinating how right it feels at the emotional level.

speaking of psychedelia, i wanna plug this amazing prog rock cover album that deserves more love. like holy shit, youd think this is how some of these songs were always meant to be played. ive never had a drug trip cus im terrified of messing up set and setting, but to have my first while hearing this played live would probably feel beautiful

speaking of more psychedelia, last month i thought Polka Dot Tail by Ween sounded super familiar, and i just realized why: it sounds like Magicant (the second one). i might try to make a mashup later idk

ive been meaning to watch a vlog of Camp Fangamer’s EarthBound Bash 2015 for years and this week i finally did it! shit looked like so much fun, and i cant think of another game series that’d make for such an immersive event. i could only find one extended video of the Mother 3 bash they did a year later, but it seems like an equally transformative event, if not more despite Lucas being a mannequin

listen....i know people have done the math and ruled it out as a possibility....but i still really like the idea of Ninten and Ana being Ness’s parents. i just think its cute and neat and also opens up some opportunities for angst (something something the fear of your kids inheriting your personal battles)

bonus points for Lloyd being Dr. Andonuts cus i think itd be funny if he was the only character to appear in all three games

while im here confessing my fan sins, lemme add that i treat Smash Bros as canon cus it gave the world such gems as Ness’s eyes being purple and Boney having leg warmer fur

man i remember first seeing Porky in Subspace and thinking he was trapped in the spider-mech thing and i had to free him.... ah, the innocence of youth

removing Lucas from Sm4sh was a bitch move but the trailer when they put him back was honestly SO worth it. like him returning Ness’s favor from Subspace?? everyone noticing he smiled more and being so proud of him?? that was the best day of my life

speaking of bitch moves im still confused by how u get Claus, Hinawa and the Masked Man’s spirits in World of Light. like what the fuck did Nintendo mean by that shit. their placement and the fights themselves are such a specific gut-punch that its hilarious. killing two gods wont bring Claus back

but also its...nice to think that Lucas got a chance to see them again. like maybe one of the other fighters who knew his deal freed them and brought them to him, and everyone let them have a moment before they fought Galeem and Dharkon. imagine Claus being all “told ya we’d meet again someday :’) let’s go beat up that angel thing together!”

also cus Smash made me so used to it, i refer to all PSI moves as PK. even the ones that are PSI in both languages, like Magnet. PK Sue me

so like... im a twin. my sister and i love each other more than anything. we played 3 together, and quickly agreed that i was the Lucas to her Claus. what happens between them in the game is my absolute worst fear. ive had nightmares since childhood with the same basic theme -- losing her to a decision i can't sway her from -- so the final boss and the "hasty brother" line after gutted us. when youre literally linked from birth, it's hard to imagine life without, and even harder to prepare for the possibility. this game forced us to do so, and it hurt like hell, but it strengthened our bond in the process.

theres already a hundred essays about it but i love how 3′s ending manages to reflect every player’s wishes. everyone’s got their own idea of what Lucas wished for, so here’s mine:

the entire planet was purified and made habitable again

all the Chimeras were split into their original animals (but some of them chose to be friends still, so there’s at least one kangaroo and one shark that hang out often)

everyone that Porky abducted from other time periods were sent back with their memories intact (so Dr. Andonuts gets to be with Jeff again and is also less likely to be employed by another asshat)

im one of those people who thinks Lucas didn’t revive anyone who died, because it doesn’t feel right after the characters spent three years coping with it. (all the power to people who disagree tho, it’s all cool!) instead, i think he wished for a new place to honor everyone they lost, resulting in a beautiful new cemetery hidden in the sunflower field outside Tazmily. strangely, it contains lots of gravestones that no one recognizes; one with a haiku written on it, ten crosses lined up in two rows of five, even one the size of a bug; and at the very back, a swirling metal statue engraved in an alien language, lying between two stones marked “XX”.

and finally, i think Lucas wished to meet whatever force was looking after his world all this time, so he could thank them personally... and thats how you, the player, ended up in the game :)

im still utterly charmed by the image of the player, struck blind from being pulled into another world, being lead by the hand (and pokes in the back) to meet Lucas,,, like its okay sweetie you can say goodbye as many times as you need, im so goddamn proud of you!!! ill see you in Smash okay???

i think thats everything i wanna say? uhhh heres a fanmix i made six years ago

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idontblushsrry · 4 years

Text

Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons

A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.

(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)

Word Count: 1943

This dork-

He is so sweet and kind and considerate

But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass

You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts

You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America

The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten

Like your skin was glowing??? how???

And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too

And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft

((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))

But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao

Will do literally anything you ask

You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal

Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you

Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America

To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly

He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works

Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together

Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like

“We should totally do that”

And you were like “Bet”

Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning

“???What happened?”

“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”

Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on

How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle

Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons

Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”

(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)

“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”

So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’

For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more

And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man

During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’

Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’

Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.

You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’

“Can I come in baby?”

You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door

When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color

You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”

You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping

He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you

And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship

Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship

Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other

Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship.

He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together

He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick

If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist

Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence

Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you

Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts

Like all of them

Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him

Speaking of dates, good luck

Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring

But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him

Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone

((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))

He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker

He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through

You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo

Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth

But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.

Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times

But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent

When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb

When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start

“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance

“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.

You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs

“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.

You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.

He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it

You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building

You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack

When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him

However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi

You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight

You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died

It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped

You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade

Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you

You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground

The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense

Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn

He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies

The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad

Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list

You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist

Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down

“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”

When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind

‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jjk x reader #itadori yuji x reader #itadori yuji #jjk itadori #black reader #x black reader #idontblushsrry

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