#because I hate humans and I fuckin love dragons baby!!

[tubbytarchia]

Sorry for forcing yall to look at a very indulgent cryptid dragon but anyway um. its an attempt!! I'm so iffy on the colors but urgg. I wanted it to be an approximate mix of Grian's various "lives". I wanna draw dragons!!! So bad!! I love dragons!!!!!!! So much!!!!

Some other lifer dragon concepts/sketches below cut

If people still wanna see me dragonify lifers then sure!! These are just quick ideas I wanted to get on paper

[harventheblorbo]

bumblebee, predaking, ratchet n smokescreen reacting to their s/o getting badly injured in a mission pls, i want to see the comfort <333

Bumblebee, Predaking, Ratchet and Smokescreen reacting to their Gender Neutral human S/O getting badly injuring a mission ➵

Containing;.. Bumblebee, Predaking, Ratchet, smokescreen, and gender neutral human S/O

___ is gender neutral

Warning;.. Some description of wounds. Swearing

Authors note: I didn't know if you wanted a human reader or a Cybertronian reader so I just went with human. Hope you enjoy this!

Bumblebee ➥

Poor man would be so stressed about it. He knows how quishy and how they can easily get hurt so when he hears that you have been hurt, he freaks the hell out

He would help with everything that you would have been doing throughout that entire month. Errands was basically erased from your mind and bumblebee mostly did them while he wasn't babying you and spoiling you rotten.

He would often hold you in his arms in his holoform and just tell you random stories as you drift off to take a quick power nap.

He will not be tolerating you getting up. You getting up with a chance of opening a wound up? No no, not with him. Did I mention he cares about you? If not, he very much does

Predaking ➵

He barely stresses but he still does. He hates it when you get hurt, especially at this degree in being harmed. When he learns just how much you have been harmed by someone else, he fuckin loses it.

He would quickly get rid of the person that did it then quickly attend to your needs. His favorite thing to do is to carry you around. Either that be like a kitten in his dragon form, or in his normal form in his hands.

He asks knockout for human medicine and advice to help you get better and actually follows with the advice. And is very happy when he starts to see that your getting better

Ratchet ➵

when he first heard, he tried to stay calm as he could when he had to call miss June to help. He honestly wished that he knew more about human anatomy. He was being taught it by you but wasn't sure enough of himself to operate on you

Man is a grumpy mess. He is mad at himself that he couldnt help and was just a stay at home medic and how he could have helped but didn't. But through your reassurance, he feels better about himself

He learns how to make human food and feeds you it if you need help. If you need rest, he will make sure that no one is loud and keeps the base quiet.

Smokescreen ➥

He is somehow a calm mess. He may seem a bit calm on the outside but in the inside, it's like a rollercoaster of emotions. He honestly has a hard time getting through his head that you will be okay.

He helps the best that he can but he is a bit bad about not dropping stuff so if you ask him to go get something, expect something to be done to it.

Much like bumblebee, he helps with the most that he can and doesn't allow you to get out of bed. For the love of God do not allow him to make any type of food because there will be something wrong with it too.

[starry-skies-116]

FUCK IT, NEW PINNED POST THIS TIME!!:

Okay, once again, from the top- top of the mornin' to ya! My humblest and sincerest greetings to all mortals, dragons, demons, spirits, celestial beings and all in between and many more!

I’m your local multifandom enthusiast, I go by the name Starr (Katya and Starry are also fine too)! I’m just your regular Lawful Neutral INFJ Pisces South Indian teen!

I’m a bi-oriented aroace and intersex, and I am genderfluid/nonbinary! Presentation changes from time to time but I really want an undercut tbh. Sexuality is aceflux/abrosexual, while I'm aegoromantic- on that note, I'm still kinda sad that sex-ed in schools isn't LGBTQIA+ friendly yet.

I also have very few but very loving and wonderful IRL friends! Usual pronouns change between she/her, they/them/ he/him and it/its, (blame my conservative neighborhood culture kekw); I am a neopronouns user too!

Also please use tone-tags around me, this user's can't tell a joke from a serious statement a lot of times-

Personality: Hopeless idealist, wants deep companionship, feels lonely and ignored from time to time but that’s aight, life do be like that sometimes though. Sappy poet and writer lol-

I do program and write and draw, but half the time whenever I program I just wrestle with the computer lmfao (ESPECIALLY the standard library like tf)-

DNI: Transphobes, Truscum, Transmeds, TERFS, ableists, anti-cluster B/believe in n@rc abuse, racist, aphobes, homophobes, queerphobes, xenophobic, gender-critical, bigots, LGBTQIA+ exclusionists, thinspo/pro ED, bullies, NSFW/K!nk, anti-agere/agedre, Pro-DDLG and all its variants, P3d0ph!l3s, N@z!s, really anything that makes me feel uncomfortable- just come on here and you're welcome as long as you're not being an ass. (and don't make fun of me for having a DNI, it really isn't that hard to spare me the trouble of blocking you and just... not interact).

Actually REALLY high empathy by modern standards, just figured out I have to turn the tap off a lot because the suffering of other people affects me deeply!

I stim alot irl (playing with hair, foot/leg spazzing out restlessly, vocal echolalia/mimicking choirs, rocking back and forth but never adjusting position, chewing gum a tad too aggressively if I have any- if not then grinding teeth way too much, etc.)

I'm diagnosed with depression and ADHD, and have a lot of symptoms of autism and dyscalculia (because of how genuinely chaotic and dysfunctional I can be at times tbh). I also do descend into major depressive episodes from time to time, though I don't know how to recognize if they're just sensory overloads, meltdowns, brain fog episodes or just bad brain days/symptom days in general.

This bitch has PCOS, anxious intrusive thoughts daily tormenting them, and ass-tier gastrointestinal health™, thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

Multiple fandoms and hyperfixations, including but not limited to:

ROTTMNT, FNAF, Poppy Playtime, Fire Emblem, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Demon Slayer/KNY, TMNT, Stranger Things, Star Wars, OMORI, Transformers, Pacific Rim, The Owl House, Zelda, and much more!! Sorry if you're here for any one of these specific fandoms, I tend to aggressively post about my current hyperfixation depending on it lmao-

Additional facts: Kind of a glutton when it comes to food, introvert asf on top of being autistic (doesn’t know how to do human social things), has way too many hobbies/things I find interesting to count! Absolutely fuckin HATES dresses and the unnecessary, excessive femininity of periods (especially when they worsen my gastric issues and give me stool problems)! I DO also age-regress and age-dream from time to time!

I like sweets, rice, potatoes, Middle Eastern and Indian Cuisine (ja I'm primarily South Asian and from a Hindu Telugu family tho) trying different cuisines, dogs (have one, he's named Bruno and he’s a little baby I love him sm), butterflies, sleeping, plushies, space, dragons, fantasy, writing, reading good books, hydrangeas and jasmine flowers, drawing/painting, numbers, napping in the sun/underneath the stars, stargazing, etc.

I strongly dislike spiders, too-spicy food, tofu when it’s cooked wrong, cooking (because I’m a fuckin disaster at it), bigoted people, strong smells and bright lights, difficult people, being bored, y’know, the works.

Aesthetics change from time to time but I love wierdcore, dreamcore, 80’s core, nostalgiacore, fantasycore, faecore, dragoncore, cybercore, kidcore, spacecore, liminalcore, etc.

Will update this Pinned Post from time to time as time goes on and my fluid identity changes, but for now, I’ll keep being me and I hope to get along well with everyone here!

[frosted-night]

Jack Frost Designs Review

Yes it’s finally his time. This is going to include his book designs including previous incarnations in said books. There are more movie concept designs than book so, let’s dig in shall we?

This was in fact the first ever Jack Joyce designed while he came up with The Guardians Of Childhood. He even comes with his own backstory! (Which was cut. Sorry Joyce posts walls of text so it’s a girthy read.)

So instead of a young mischievous trickster, we got a much more depressing story of Jack. (Jack by default is sad obviously) but this one... It kind of hits differently and almost reminds me of the story he crafted for Pitch. A dad who tried to defend his family but through tragic events was ripped from them and changed completely. Design wise, he’s a lot more tree than snow. There doesn’t exist a colored version of this so we’ll never know if he sported winter and dull dead leaf colors rather than grassy greens.This Jack has a weird presence to him, I can’t put my finger on it. Rating: 6/10 He’s really neat! Just a little too Autumn feeling rather than a blend of both Autumn and Winter.

Nightlight feels like the baby evolution if Jack was a pokemon and that's what I’m gonna stick with. Below is a more recent version of him colored.

In all honesty that one is easier on the eyes proportion wise because sometimes Joyce has ‘interesting’ anatomy choices but we aint going into that today. It’s interesting how his hair somehow looks shorter and longer than Jack’s at the same time. Could be because the longer strands float seamlessly but star boy hair physics what can ya do. It’s a little hard to tell what is his skin and what is his armor, so that is a casuality in making a character only have one or two colors in their color scheme. I love other artist’s depictions of Nightlight but the canon one feels a little weak color wise. Rating: 5/10 Sorry, get some better LEDs and then come back.

Here we have a book Jack but I can’t entirely recall if this was used in the books or not. I digress. This design looks like him still wearing very Nightlight-esque armor/clothing and slowly growing into his new persona as Jack Frost. The intricacies are hard to make out but we’ll work with it. This one is very interesting to me because he very much looks like an older teen close to young adult. His hair looks very fluffy too. Not many complaints about this one but not much praise either.

Rating: 6/10 Not great but doesn’t stand out that much.

Remember when I said Joyce had ‘interesting’ anatomy decisions? Jack looks like he has half a head here and it bothers me GREATLY. This is the adult Jack design he went with. Supposedly he likes the opera and he sure looks it. This! Exists!! Kind of wish it didn’t. The outfit is nice but it just doesn’t fit Jack as a whole. This just screams to me that it’s someone else with a similar-ish hairstyle.

Rating: 3/10 Guess he’d be the...Phantom Of The Opera. (I’ll go home and so should he.)

And finally the final Jack. This is the one that almost exactly resembles the Jack we got in the movies(Probably because it was made after the movie but w/e) but just add a cape on him. I can’t really tell if hes got a hoodie and a cape, or just a cloak+hood on top of a sweatshirt. It isn’t too important because my thoughts on this one are obvious. Rating: 10/10 Edna Mode would have a field day with you boy.

MOVIE DESIGN TIME

Joyce claims this is a design he drafted when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered to voice Jack and I can kind of see that with how his face is drawn here. This Jack looks a lot more like a warrior and less of that trickster look. I can’t say I’m a fan of the weird antenna his hood has but his sword is really cool looking.

Rating: 4/10 Nice bow and sword but it can’t save your fashion choices.

This looks like a lanky 11-13 year old who would put rocks or slugs in my shoes and relish in my disgust. He has the exact look of a snot nose kid and I’m unsure how to feel about it.

His various hairstyles drafted here sort of make him softer looking or just more of a snot nose, no in between. Maybe even an Anime Protagonist.

The top right one almost looks like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon if you squint. It’ll be a little hard to rate them all as one individual but why not.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate them but they aren’t my cup of tea.

AH- IS THAT A FUCKIN GREMLIN?

Oh wait no it isn’t he looks like a 10 year old. Whatever don’t feed him after midnight. The staff’s design of not being shaped like a G is an interesting tidbit but the whole design looks like he’s really young or like a troll etc. This Jack looks like he thinks girls have cooties uses outdated slang.

Rating: 4/10 This is me being generous.

It honestly looks like he hiked his pants up all the way to his chest. A late teen with horrid fashion choices once again. Not many other thoughts here.

Rating: 2/10 Get a sweater on or something.

This is one is very interesting looking to me. His clothes looked a lot more leather based and very human-like. The tatters, tears and frays all make him look like he was a victim of an accident that never changed his clothes. It makes me wonder if this Jack had the same death as the final movie Jack or something else entirely. Either way, this one looks like hes a mid to late teen which really adds to my intrigue.

This was another image that greatly resembled the design so I included it here. It almost looks like his skin is blue here which is pretty neat to me at least. He’s also got leaf motifs here, which from the first Jack design Joyce made, we can see a pattern here.

Rating: 8 /10 I was originally weirded out by his head but now its not so bad.

This Jack is definitely dressed more like a nature boy rather than him having human influenced fashion and it’s an appealing touch. The tiny leaf sprouting from his staff is also kind of cute since the designers seemed to want to put leafs somewhere on his designs. His hairstyle is also very cute but it reminds me of Sasuke Uchiha in a sense. (Not a setback for me at least)

Rating: 7/10 13 year old Jack is going thru a phase.

I thought this Jack didn’t show up again in story boards but I was wrong!

They look a little different from each other but just similar enough to pair together, so bare with me. The first one obviously has looser pants, slightly longer sleeves and got his leaf motif going. This second Jack is a VERY green. It gives the impression that this Jack made his clothes out of plants and natural materials. Again I’m not wholly sure if greens fit his color scheme but they sure went for it for a while. I can’t say I’m a fan of it because it heavily reminds me of Peter Pan.

However a very similar looking Jack could be found in this storyboard. It doesn’t look as green as the other storyboards made it out to be and looks more like dead grass. Which is a pretty nice touch.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate it but it just doesn’t vibe yknow.

Speaking of a vibe...hoo this certainly has one.  This Jack isn’t old but certainly doesn’t look very young, maybe in the 20-30 range, thats just me. He has facial features that remind me of Pitch but resembles the Jack Frost of Santa Clause 3

That being said, I wondered if him looking similar to Pitch was in the storyline of them being brothers.(Which was a scrapped thing, who knew.) He’s a bit more menacing in this design but certainly seems like he relishes in his work.

Rating: 4/10 I’d make it a lower score but I gotta give it props

NOW THIS JACK IS KINDA INTERESTING. This one looks like he’s 16 and going through a grunge phase. He’s gonna play Nirvana loudly and not turn it down even if you tell him too. His staff itself has mini icicles hanging off of it and leafs look stuck to his shirt. Did you glue or staple those on Jack? His hair also looks much longer than his other designs and I kind of dig it( Shut up I’m bias.) I’m not wholly sure why else this design has stuck with me but it just has something about it that I just love. I wish there was a full body drawing of it.

(He also kinda has the same hair as the Jack Frost in Runescape but I wont go on about that hoo hoo)

Rating: 9/10 *Bad Boy by Cascada plays in the distance*

This one definitely feels like middleschooler trying to be in a band. His sticks just resemble drumsticks to me what can I say. I’m a big fan of his shoes and his color scheme screams a hibernating tree in winter. His hair also looks like it’s covered in frost rather than it being wholly white, which is very neat!! He looks like he wants to fight but has slight hesitance. Overall a very balanced Jack.

Rating: 8/10 He’s ready for band practice

Not many thoughts here, I just found these tiny Jack designs cute. His hoodie being a jacket instead just adds to the charm of this one.

No talk to him he angy.

Rating: 6/10 fun sized boi

Now this Jack resembles the one earlier that dressed entirely in leather brown colors, however he clearly is different than that one. I’m gonna say it, he looks like a zombie or undead in this design and its pretty fucking gnarly. I don’t know whats going on with his hair but I’m gonna assume it’s just the wind making it look like that. He just has the vibe that he was once human but was turned into something else entirely. It isnt in uncanny territory but borders that. This version of Jack meeting Pitch and the others would have been *very* interesting. Rating: 7/10 Eat a twinkie Jack you’ll feel better.

The final design! I can’t complain much about this one. The way his staff subtly has a G shape and a hexagon(his signature shape) is a wonderful touch. Additionally, the way the frost is gathered mostly where his hand is such an intricate detail. His signature hoodie is iconic at this point so I can’t bad mouth that either.(I can’t anyway because there's no complaints from me here.) Although, I never understood the leather straps that his pants had or their functions. I couldn’t find any colonial outfits that resembled Jack’s pants so its a total mystery to me at least.

And I can’t go on about this design until I mention the snowflake pattern in his eyes

Pure beauty. It’s at a hue of blue that almost looks impossible to have, combined with the electric blue color of the snowflake in his eyes. The amount of detail in this movie amazes me to this day. Rating: One Great Blizzard <3/10

[yamchaas]

Welcome back to Jessie Yamchaas drink and episode reviews- Today we will be reviewing- Episode 71 of Dragon ball Super and Green Tea topped with whipped cream cheese concoction I saw in a youtube video late last night that disturbed me, keep reading if either of these intrigue you-

First things first, I had to make my drink to accompany my episode rewatch, here he is in all his glory:

Looks wise? Not the prettiest drink, slightly “shreks swamp after the honeymoon” vibes, but looks don’t matter- it’s about the taste. Taste wise? This shit disgusting, what in the actual fuck- Janice, girl, you said this was nice in your video what is this- The whipped cream cheese sits on top of the bitter tea so your first sip is straight up just this weird cream cheese and then you get bitter tea and its fuckin bad- 0.5/5, won’t make again.

Okay now we have that horror out of the way lets move on to something less terrible, surely- Yamcha playing baseball :)

Okay, first things first- animation. WHERE THE HELL IS YAMCHA’S CAKE? WHERE HE FUCKIN THIGHS AND HIS BUTT AT? BASEBALL TIGHT PANTS ARE WONDERFUL BUT WHERE ALL THE MEAT GONE?? YAMCHA ALWAYS HAD MEAT BRO, HE ALWAYS HAD JUICY THIGHS BRO 😭- Okay but with that out of my system there no other glaring issues with the animation in this episode, sure some of the distant shots are funky but I’m not bothered too greatly by that, it’s actually fairly well done- I especially appreciate the scenes where they focus on Yamcha’s technique and of course the cool wolf shot sings to me so all and all no complaints beyond Yamcha being too small.

As for plot, Champa and Beerus are having a “friendly” match between universes 6 and 7, hijinks ensue- This is filler, there’s not much plot to speak on.

Utterly in love with the line from Yamcha that he left Tien and Chiaotzu behind, super funny and a nice little throwback to the Res F movie- Also, they’re married <3 But I do just have to say it does utterly flummox me that Tien is not included in this episode, there’s genuinely no reason for him not to be here and I can’t help but to imagine how fun the episode could have been if Tien was on the universe 6 team to even out the numbers- They never gave us the Yamcha/Tien rematch at the tournament so it could have been a fun way of giving us some kind of rematch and banter all these years later, but sadly they just didn’t take the opportunity- Also no Tien Baseball Tight pants 😭😭 Disappointing.

Whis and Vados look nice :) Vegeta being obsessed with topping Goku once more, nothing new here. Gohan’s a sweety, also nothing new here.

Now some positives: Yamcha being so encouraging and a good team leader is very sweet to see, love that actually. I also love that they made these amazing warriors not very good at something that isn’t fighting, like it’s comical but it’s also nice in a way? Like yes, Goku is unbelievable in so many ways but he struggles to learn baseball- Its nice to be reminded these characters have flaws and struggle in different aspects of life, just like regular people do too- Really like that.

Love them incorporating Yamcha’s use of spirit control into his baseball skills, it’s just fun and cool, no complaints from me at all.

Piccolo being good at baseball is cute and I like it.

Now on to everything else-

This episode truly hurts my feelings, it’s so unnecessarily mean for no reason and I know people might say “but doesn’t he technically win? and wasn’t he better than everyone?” Those are the only scraps he gets- Literally Yamcha speaks in a total of 10 super episodes and this is the only episode that we could even vaguely call a Yamcha episode and it’s just a joke on him 90% of the time-

18 questioning if Yamcha should be captain and being nasty about his skills truly fucks me off- Like he’s been the best baseball player on earth for 20+ years, the show acts like Yamcha is completely useless and it just grates on me- Yamcha trained with King Kai, he can hold his own against the ginyu force- He’s not weak. He’s just plainly not!! Sure he’s not Goku level, or even Piccolo, but that’s okay, because he is human!! He’s still an amazing martial artist and baseball player and he’s also a good friend with a kind heart. The show playing into the useless pathetic Yamcha memes is cheap. It’s just cheap.

As for the he weird, kinda implied Bulma/Yamcha stuff in this ep HATE HATE MALICE BITE KILL- Actually fuck off. The blush pisses me off so bad-  Like Yamcha has never acted hung up on Bulma, he was a bit annoyed when Trunks was a tiny baby, which was fair! But other than that he just treated her like a regular friend, no unrequited love. Also I’m pretty sure this is the nicest Bulma has ever been to Yamcha... Ever. In like the entire series as a whole. So... That’s telling.

Also supers insistence that Yamcha’s this cocky, smarmy guy will never cease pissing me off! The Yamcha we leave in Dragon Ball Z has been remarkably chill and humble for years, so why now is he suddenly a dickhead again? This is more prevalent in other episodes but does feature here too. Bad writing- Bad characterization. Bad.

And it ends on the dead fucking Yamcha meme pose- Because of course it does. Because it’s cheap and it’s nasty and that’s all there is to it. They took a character that used to be a main character. A loved character. And they played into the dudebro, abridged series, meme-ifcation to get cheap laughs rather than give this character the dues he deserves. They literally couldn’t even give him one (1) episode. This is actually worse than the fucked cream cheese green tea drink- By a large margin.

NOTABLE, QUOTABLE:

“C’mon let’s see some pep in your step!”

“Wow- It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Yamcha this fired up!” 😭😭 Dude seeing Yamcha confident and excited and Goku being so happy makea me 😭😭

“Let the Yamcha show you what it’s like to dominate on the mound-” I’ll let The Yamcha dominate on my moun- *Comically large hook snatches me by the neck, pulling me and my computer chair off stage*

“The wolf fang pitching fist ball-” Tien, I need you to kiss this man on his dumb mouth, please.

“Yeah for a washed up fighter that’s not bad.” 18 I GOT MAD LOVE FOR YOU BUT IMMA THROW HANDS WITH YOU BITCH IF YOU KEEP THIS UP- “But Jess she’s a powerful android and you’re some chick-” Yeah but don’t you know the power of love is the strongest force in the world? Also I grew up in the country and have reserved farm strength so 😤

“It’s an honour to have this of bat” Cabba I dont know what the fuck this means but I’m fuckin happy to see you mate- You a good boy!! “Watch closely master, I’m going to hit this and prove I’m worthy of your teaching-’ stupid lil bitch ass vegtea don’t deserve this sweety 😤

“What are you even doing here, I’m totally out of my league, at this rate I’d be lucky to walk off the field alive... C’mon Yamcha, keep your head in the game, we are going to win this.” TIEN IF YOU DONT GENTLY AND SWEETLY BRUSH THIS MANS CHOPPY MULLET FROM HIS FACE AND SWEETLY KISS HIS LIPS ON GOD-

Winning shot of the epsiode:

Thanks for tuning in to my review of drink and episode uhhhhhh see you again uhhhhhhh if someone gives me a drink and a episode to watch :)

[zelskzerker]

Mangadex went down so I read alot 1/7

Lets review a bunch of isekai and related stuff I binged because mangadex went down. The scale will be a single thumbs up to a single thumbs down in terms of how much I would consider recommending it in general.

Legend

Chapters 1-51 Pretty straight forward in most aspects. For the best. Nothing crazy bad or good happening, making it surprisingly straight forward for an isekai. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC is given a super magic body and the knowledge of ancient magic. Which he promptly uses to create a griffon buddy. Gets a THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER for just being a nice, believable stay in a world, but I have read some stuff that really has interesting sparks the way this doesnt. MC is brutal at times and General Princess is cute. They make a good pair for each other.  Although there are no ecchi situations, that artist really knows how to slide in the lewds, whether its mid combat flourishes or pre chapter artwork.

The Black Create Summoner: Revolt of Reincarnated

All Chapters

Truly is revolting. A resounding THUMBS DOWN.  Apparently this was just an advertisement manga, which means that its intentionally incomplete and unsatisfying. Ontop of that, the sketchy artwork was generally rough and got worse to look at the more it went on. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time he has a grimoire that lets him summon stuff he draws. The power isn’t used that much though or in that creative of ways. Characters didn’t really leave an impact except maybe the elf little sister that is stubborn yet knows she is incompotent and recruits a dragon out of stubbornness. 

Minotaur’s Sweetheart

Chapters 1-16

So what if a minotaur accidentally seduced the adventurer that was assigned to kill him? This is a good romance manga deserving a THUMBS UP because the pure-hearted minotaur boy and the unmarriageable adventurer girl actually develop a relationship and progress as people. The manga is ultimately about monsters and humans interacting and is fresh due to having a plot that evolves the situation a lot beyond the initial setup of the manga.

Moon-led Journey Across Another World

Chapters 1-64

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time the god of the new world calls the MC ugly and banishes him to the edge of the world to die off. In order to help out the MC, the god of our world (Tsukuyomi) gives him a bit of power. The MC is funny to watch once you realize that he is an incredibly cautious pureboy and expecting every common street thug to potentially end him but in reality he is a god-rivaling cataclysm himself and never realizes. He is so powerful that he recruits the blue haired mist dragon, Tomoe, and accidentally turns her into a weeaboo. Tomoe can read minds and access pocket space with her mist ontop of her sick weeaboo katana skills. She really shines as the most mature person in the story, gaining information that no one else in the story has and carefully withholding it from the MC in order to protect his innocence. She is a DAMN good tomboyish waifu and sarashii is a blessing. Other main girl is yandere spider, Mio, which has shockingly good and well conveyed bouts of emotion. She has an extremely rare “can’t cook at all” joke that is explained due to her “eat literally anything” nature. In terms of plot, the MC hates the god of the world he is in and pretty much plans to do everything she doesn’t want him to. Which means mingling with humans, and eventually, god slaying/usurption. Odd think about this manga is that it’s heavily Japanese-inspired. That may sound odd because its a manga, but generally isekai are most medieval/western skinned than this one which leans in on Japanese mythos. Just look at the god of our world in the manga.

THUMBS UP.

The Unsuccessful yet Academically Unparalleled Sage ~A Cheating S-Rank Sorcerer's Post-Rebirth Adventurer Log~

Chapter 1-10 So lets set up this genre here. This is a part of the “reincarnation” genre, which is a spinoff of isekai. They generally depict a very capable mage who reincarnates themselves into the future of their own world. At which point they realize that although they were pretty strong in their day, they are now practically a god in the deteriorated modern day. This genre will hereby be indicated by [Insert reincarnation startup here]. For this manga in specific, [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC could only use lightning magic and was the best at it but failed the gene gacha then [Insert reincarnation startup here] and he fails gene gacha again but is still the walking thunder god. These kinds of manga are always precious when the MC can walk through the world and see the fruits of their past labor. Specifically through Merlin, the MC’s adopted demon daughter who has grown up to be his heritor and bridge human/demon relationships. Truly adorable and heart warming. Lacks a bit of spice from themeing or ongoing plot due to its short length however. THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

Older Elite Knight is cute only in front of me

Chapters 1-17.1

THUMBS UP. This is an oneshota manga where shota is a chad with incredibly good tastes. A really good ecchi manga with a light hearted story featuring Haru(the shota) knight that joins Karen’s(the oneesan) knight crew. As with all good romance manga, the main plot isn’t romance. Knight shenanigins are always happening, with a big (and lewd) bad entering recently. Top tier variation on the lewds, even including a princess loli in on the fun. Must read for all oneshota fans.

Lonely Attack on A Different World

Chapter 1-91

[Insert isekai startup forma de classroom here] but this time the MC gets leftover garbage skills and has to learn to survive. Learning to survive thus makes him the most op and he can magic trick his way out of literally anything. Strong start as the whole classroom first tries to get their footing, but after the starting arc is done this manga starts spinning it’s wheels. The manga is kinda lacking in themes, overarching plot and end goals, so stuff just happens to make this a sort of slice of life trap room escape manga. Magic “just works” in this universe so its not very dramatic when the MC pulls out a new trick out of his bag of million tricks. Just kinda stagnates too much for my liking. THUMB IN THE BOTTOM CORNER.

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer

Chapters 1-34

Rentt Faina, the MC, is a good guy with no talent who aspires to be a legendary adventurer. But then he gets turned into a skeleton, giving the chance to evolve his way to greatness, kinda like in Spider isekai or Dragon isekai. The MC is most like Goblin Slayer in his serious and knowledgeable approach to the world, how characters that know him revere him. End goal so far is just him seeing how far he can evolve as he comes across other vampires and vampire hunters. Really want to see him go to the top. Fuckin great art. Girls drawn perfect. Like the hat on the guild girl, but nothing beats the witch Lorraine. THUMBS UP.

Teihen Ryoushu No Kanchigai Eiyuutan

Chapters 1-13

THUMB IN UPPER CORNER. Pretty funny comedy about a lord of a poor land who wants to be a stereotypical evil lord but can only use healing magic. Therefore he bumbles his way into accepting a heretical cult nun, beast men who hate humans, etc. All the girls are to crazy for him to want to sex them(weak. give the assassin nun your babies). Most interesting parts are aforementioned nun, his fujoshi assistant, and the MC’s willingness to use his power to commit heretical and immoral warcrimes. 

The Undead Lord of the Palace of Darkness

Chapters 1-11

Art average, don’t come to this one for spectacle. It’s strength is in the subertfuge that it’s recently-necromanced-back-to-life MC goes through to get his Master killed and to later, probably, evolve into a vampire. MC isn’t evil though, just wants to survive. Main girl on cover was born and raised to hunt vampires but has a compassionate heart. Obviously she goes easy on and relates to MC. Story is still kinda in it’s first arc so the overall trajectory of the story is a bit hard to gauge and not quite satisfying enough by its own right. Probably a thumb up with more chapters but for now THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

The Reincarnated Inferior Magic Swordsman

Chapters 1-38

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time.... uh... THUMB SIDEWAYS. Usually I am patient, but 31 chapters with no goal and just barely plot? Wow. Saving grace is uh... I guess the world of “other isekai people existed but they sucked because they didn’t level uncap like MC” could go somewhere but. I take it back, lowering this one to a THUMB DOWN.

The Invincible Sage in the Second World.

Chapters 1-12

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time a pro mmo player in a game called “Broken Balance Online.” Guess what his class, the sage class, was considered in the game? Not far along enough to really pop off but it isn’t horrible. MC is moderately cautious to a healthy degree which is actually rare in most isekai. THUMB IN BOTTOM LEFT CORNER. 

The Dark Queen and I Strike Back

Chapters 1-29.5

Although technically an isekai, no isekai startup here. This a battle manga with a big mystery on the backdrop of a war. That is to say, the MC gets teleported to a world to kill the demons but he ends up defending them from the humans with all he’s got. Of special note is the complete seriousness of this manga that whiplashes into debauchery like tentacles, the above cover, oneshota, and even really dark jokes in some of the omake. That tonal lash effect will be either make or break, and it is a HUGE make for me. I love when a single piece can have both absolute serious scenes and utterly lighthearted and fluffy ones. Or in this case utterly lewd ones. May the average-human-amount-of-perverted MC one day slam some demon lord loli. THUMBS UP.

Chillin' in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers

Chapters 1-24

THUMB SIDEWAYS. Has the feeling of a nerfed slime isekai. Nerfed in all ways except romance. Art surprisingly good.

[adamarks]

Penny’s relationship  troubles and how that relates to Simon and Baz

aka my Baz and Penny mirror post

I said I’d do this and god what a fucking emotional ride we’re about to go on. Strap in, my dudes.

In Carry On, it’s well-established that Penelope is Baz’s mirror character. She’s mostly static in the book (because it’s almost completely focused on Baz and Simon) and she’s used mainly as a literary device. Her mirroring Baz in particular is established very plainly. Both of them being top of the class; both of them geeking out over spells; both of them geeking out over marriage spells; their mothers both being headmasters; both of them getting out chalkboards and making the exact same types of lists. It’s very much in-your-face screaming in Carry On. 

It’s not so obvious in Wayward Son. 

The main reason for this is that Penny was upgraded from static to rounded in this book. She has an entire arc of doubting herself, which will most likely be completed in the next book. However, just because it’s not banging pots and pans in your face doesn’t mean the mirroring isn’t there. 

Let’s dig in.

Rainbow did something I really, really loved with this book: she made sure we know that happy endings aren’t what we’re told. The story doesn’t end because the Prince and Princess kissed-- how did they hang on? How did they make it to the hundredth kiss? Did they even make it to the hundredth kiss?

This book tells us that sometimes they don’t make it to the hundredth kiss.

This lesson is what’s got a lot of people’s panties in a knot. Here’s the thing though: it’s not a bleak lesson; it’s a warning. It’s a reminder that we have to keep trying; we have to want that hundredth kiss.

Simon and Baz want that hundredth kiss. They just don’t know how to get there. 

Wow guys I’m gonna have to struggle to not cry while writing this. Wish me luck.

Yes, the boys are morons that can’t communicate. How does Penny fit in?

She didn’t get to that hundredth kiss.

Micah and Penny are what happen when you just expect happily ever after to take care of getting you to the next kiss. 

Micah declares what the lesson Penny (assumedly with Shepherd Tornado Chaser Supreme) is going to learn about relationships is in Chapter twelve:

“A relationship isn’t about the end. It’s about being together every step of the way.”

This may be Penny’s lesson, but this is also a sort of (in my opinion) apology from Rainbow. Because, what was Baz and Simon getting together if not just a nice little tie up as part of a happy ending. What are queer consumers of media usually fed? Our representation usually dies, breaks up, or ends up together all happy go lucky right at the end. We don’t get to see characters we relate to struggle. We don’t get to see them still be miserably in love but unsure how to make it work when shit gets rough. 

Wayward Son is what happens when you don’t know how to keep going, but god do you want to. 

“I told you that I thought we’d grown apart--” 

“And I said that was natural!”

(also taken from Chapter 12 of Wayward)

Simon and Baz growing apart when Simon is so severely depressed and unable to communicate is natural. It’s natural, but it doesn’t mean that he’s going about it the right way. Simon is fucked up. He’s fucked up in a lot of ways, but (and this is coming from someone that’s struggled with the same kinds of thoughts Simon’s suffering from) that’s no excuse for him to hurt Baz in the process. 

Simon even realizes that this is a terrible way to go about this. It’s why he’s thinking about breaking up with Baz. 

i almost cried typing that just now rainbow why simon why i’m dying i-

BREAKING UP WITH BAZ IS NOT THE ANSWER, SIMON!!

Simon needs to learn how to communicate. How to talk about what he’s feeling and what he needs.

Here’s the thing though: Baz does too.

This is where Penny’s mirroring comes into play. Micah and Penny apparently didn’t talk for two whole months and she didn’t notice. They didn’t talk. They didn’t communicate. This is what killed their relationship.

This is what’s killing Simon and Baz’s.

In Chapter Fifteen we see Simon mulling over Penny and Micah breaking up:

“Penelope and Micah were going to get married. 

And now... Merlin, what now?”

I’ll come back to the concept of “endgames” throughout this series, but for now, apply that to Baz and Simon.

Baz and Simon were supposed to live happily ever after, but ever afters don’t work like that. So, now what?

Everything sucks. We are all in Pain. The dumbasses won’t talk. What do we DO, JAY? 

god, what do we do. suffer i guess idk. 

Okay but for real, we don’t have to worry. Rainbow knows what their issue is. And! She’ll make sure it’s resolved! How do I know? 

Well, I’ll tell ya.

Shepard.

We were introduced to a brand new, absolutely batshit, completely delightful character in Wayward. He’s spunky, he’s fun, but what does he do best?

Fucking. Talk.

He doesn’t shut the fuck up!! He’s completely honest and he just talks. Bitch will tell you his entire life story without batting an eye! This is what Penny needs. 

This is where Simon and Baz are going to end up. 

Perhaps not exactly, that doesn’t suit their personalities. This is what they’ll end up being, though: completely honest with each other. 

These fuckers are constantly thinking about each other throughout the book. 

“Oh he’s so beautiful.” “Oh he’s so charming.” “Oh he’s so funny and smart.” “Oh he’s so heroic and brave.” “Oh, i’d give him my whole being.” “Oh I wish he’d let me in” “Oh I love him so much.” “I love him.” 

They’d both feel so, so, so much better if they just said shit out loud. Good god. 

But neither of them are a) in a place where they can say it and b) in a place where they’ll believe it. 

This brings us to our next biggie:

Baz still doesn’t like himself.

Simon’s obviously having troubles with self loathing. That’s not even a question in anyone’s mind. Simon’s depression and lack of self worth is one of (if not the) main vocal points of the book. 

The issue with Simon’s sadness getting the spotlight is that we overlook Baz’s a bit. It’s thrown in so that we don’t notice immediately, because we’re not supposed to. Baz’s self-hatred isn’t as loud as Simon’s and he’s been dealing with it a lot longer. It’s a self-loathing he’s learned to live with-- he’s used to it by now. 

Sometimes the demons we learn to live with are the most vicious of all. 

I think it’s very clever that the most overt time we see Baz disliking himself is in his Things I Hate List in Chapter Fourteen.

“11. The wind in my hair.

 12. Convertible automobiles.

 13. Myself, most of all.

 14. My soft heart. 

 15. My foolish optimism.

 16. The words “road” and “trip,” when said together with any enthusiasm.”

It’s slipped in there awful sneaky! You’re giggling and going “oh thank god maybe I won’t be sad through the whole book” then BANG! there it is. But, right after we have “my soft heart” and you’re going “oh my poor baby he’s so sweet I love him” before you really had time to process number 13 as anything aside from an “lol i’m hot and icky and i hate myself” joke. 

Baz is used to hating himself. It’s everyday whatever. Simon’s is only louder because he’s not used to being allowed time to think about the bad stuff. Everyday before the end of Carry On for Simon was just struggling to get to the next day-- whether that was at Watford or a home. Simon’s happy when he doesn’t have to think; Baz can’t just not think. 

Penny’s just learned what doubting herself entails; Baz has been doubting himself for the last decade. 

No matter how much they coo at each other, it won’t fix the underlying issue: Baz and Simon don’t like themselves. 

This is the main internal conflict of the series for all of the characters: loving yourself for what you are. 

This brings us to Agatha. 

If you haven’t read my meta on simon being a dragon hell yes then you might want to. I discuss Agatha being a mirror for Simon fairly thoroughly in it. 

Remember how I told you to put a pin in the concept of  “endgames” earlier? Well, here we are. Agatha was supposed to be the “endgame.” 

Endgames! Are! Bullshit! 

Human beings are not our consolation prizes for getting through shit. Becoming stronger as people and loving ourselves more is our prize. Realizing how much you can withstand, how hard you can fight, how amazing you are for surviving is your prize for getting through it. 

None of these guys realize this yet. Agatha and Simon just think there’s nothing good that’s going to come out of their lives and Baz and Penelope just think that maybe their “prizes” weren’t what they thought they were. 

Maybe the rewards for our efforts were really just inside us the whole time. uwu.

Penny is just starting to think of plans again by the end of the book, but this time they’re looser, wilder, even more hairbrained than before and she really only has one plan at best! She’s learning that she can be strong and capable even when she doesn’t have all the facts and doesn’t have all the details thought through. Penny’s learning to loosen up. 

Baz is in a better place by the end of Wayward too. He’s learned so much about vampires and even himself. Like sure I fuckin’ hate Lamb but he helped Baz to realize that... maybe he isn’t a monster. Maybe magical creatures aren’t lesser. Maybe he’s not any less human just because he can drink their blood. 

They’re the only two that really, really develop in this book. Simon and Agatha change but mostly stay the same mentality-wise. Agatha still thinks she’s doomed to be a damsel in distress and Simon still thinks he’s just The Boy That Was. Baz and Penny are the most dynamic characters in Wayward Son.

I’m putting my money on next book being Agatha and Simon’s big development book. And at this point I’m convinced it’s going to be more than a trilogy. 

Now! Let’s talk about Agatha and Penny. 

@stressedidiot pointed out to me that Penny and Agatha holding hands and burning shit down in the last scene was supposed to call back to Baz and Simon. They’re absolutely right. I think the most important thing that was calling back to was Simon giving Baz his magic in Carry On. 

This parallel confused me at first: why would Rainbow need to remind us of that scene? I know I personally have the Ladybird and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star scenes permanently ingrained in my head forever. Obviously we didn’t forget that Simon could pour his magic. 

Here’s the thing. 

Baz and Simon don’t stay together during any of the fight scenes in this book. They always get separated or one of them gets hurt or they’re scrambling trying to find or catch the other one. 

They’ve forgotten that they work best when they’re together.

That was one of the main takeaways from Carry On. Simon and Baz work best when they’re together. 

“A relationship isn’t about the end. It’s about being together every step of the way.” 

Every! Step! Of! The! Way!

This is where my dragon Simon theory really comes into play. If Simon does end up with some sort of dragonesque powers, somehow Baz and him are going to share it. 

When Baz figures out how to drink from humans without killing them, Simon’s going to be right there, ready to open up a vein.

This is the true beauty of their relationship. Simon wants to be the one to lead the dance of kisses and intimacy and communication, and Baz wants to be there to give him anything he wants. Baz has received Simon’s magic; he’s gonna drink Simon’s blood; and he’s somehow going to receive something from Simon regarding this dragon business.

“I’d give him all that I am. 

I’d give him all that I was.

I’d open up a vein.”

They give and take and equal measures. They love each other wholly. I’m gesturing to my computer screen out of stress right now. They literally love each other that much!

Agatha and Penny sharing a magic conduit at the end of Wayward Son is a reminder of what happened between Simon and Baz and also foreshadowing of where they’ll be again.

Imagine how powerful they’ll be once they remember how to work together. 

They were practically unstoppable before when they worked together-- they turned back a dragon. 

But now their love for each other is stronger than ever. It’ll only grow once they finally talk. Once they communicate.

Two people, so strong separately coming together with only love and understanding for each other. 

With their hearts beating together, they could do more than turn back a dragon.

They could change the world.

check my meta about simon’s wings being The Gay

And also my one about the scarf

Thank you for reading this word vomit. Just wanted to tag a few people that might be interested in seeing this shitstorm of a meta:

@goodie-giving-gecko-gets-gatos @singerofsimplesongs @wisest-girl @watfordwallflower @slaying-fictional-dragons @carrybits

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #300

that’s a lot of time wasted, lmao

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? Could I have like, a melanistic barn owl? That'd be dope. They're fuckin gorgeous. If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? Ha, speaking of owls... Would you ever visit a ghost town? MOTHERFUCKER would I. Bringing my camera, too. What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? I have a very much Detroit: Become Human (phenomenal game, btw) outlook on this: I think, therefore I am. It honestly wouldn't affect me terribly. I sure would hate my creator though, jfc, lmao. What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Okay so there is this one video filmed by some guys who had this really strange, sulking guy in black stalking them, and it ends with the suspected murderer slinking over to the guys (who were by this point finding it almost funny, due to how the man was acting) and charging with a knife, I think, once he was very close. I believe the men were never found afterwards. It is SO goddamn unnerving. Is there anything bothering you right now? Not to be a Negative Nancy, but when isn't there lmao. Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had creative ones, really. What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don't have a relevant calender, just old meerkat ones on a wall in my room. If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? As much as I love dragons, they're targeted too much in fantasy to kill, so let's not, haha. Being a dryad would be cool. Or druid. Either/or. If you were an animal, which would you be? A housecat, ig. Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I consider myself very lucky to have not been. Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Okay so it's "deleted" versus "thrown away," technically, but there are two senior prom pictures in specific I desperately want back because fuck my low self-esteem, I look beautiful in them and so damn happy. I even tried Facebook restore programs that supposedly recovered all pictures you ever removed, but I couldn't salvage them. I'm still pissed about it, haha. What's one random city you want to visit? I don't have a specific city, per se. More so just countries in general. If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? I think owning a pet supply store would be really cool, with some animals that are actually very well-cared for, unlike chain pet stores. I HATE those, vehemently. So unspeakably ignorant and neglectful. If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don't want a garden, but hypothetically, I'd love orchids, dahlias, tiger lilies, a weeping willow tree, some strawberries... What's your favorite phase of the moon? Full, of course. What's the song for your life right now? I've felt extremely connected to Seether's "Weak" lately. Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? I hope so... Who would you be the most excited to see? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION?????????? Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? If I'm like, sitting in a waiting room and they're available, I'll go for them. Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? Welcome to the South, baby. The boys graduate, they're going straight for the military. I only have one real friend who was one but left tho because he fucking hated it. Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this house, no. As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? Absofuckinglutely. I have A LOT of bad memories of instances where I felt like "the weird kid." Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Omg... I forgot the German phrase. Wow, I'm rusty. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I don't have pictures that go with any. Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I just checked, and it was my friend Summer. I met her because she was actually first friends with my younger sister in pre-k, but we grew closer than they did in our teen years. What career paths are you considering? I just want to be a photographer. So badly. But I've felt super, super discouraged lately. Do you watch music videos? I pretty much never do, but rather listen through the artists' Topic uploads or lyric videos. I don't generally like official music videos because they tend to have other sounds/parts/breaks/etc. in them that distract from the song. Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? Probably by accident at some point in time. What kind of computer are you using? Acer Nitro. What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I'm fine with what I have. Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? .-. How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? Depends on how long I'll be outside, but in most situations, in the 50s. Do you eat things off the floor? Um, ew. Who do people say you look like? My sisters. Do you usually get your homework done on time? When I was in school, I was very serious about having my homework finished by the date it was due. Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? I've kept some, but never framed any. Do you have a digital camera? A Canon, yeah. Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? Bitch I ain't tryna get electrocuted. How many days has it been since your last birthday? My b-day is actually coming up soon; the 5th of February. Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Well, considering both my parents (and stepmom) are in their 50s... How easily shocked are you? VERY. I am extremely jumpy and on edge at like all times. You like the color blue, don't you? I mean yeah. Particularly the lighter tints. Who was the last person who asked you something that made you think? My therapist REEEEAAAALLY makes me do this. She's an absolute pro at getting me to dig deep into myself. Ever fired a gun? No, and I don't want to. From 1-10, how would you rate your cooking skills? Is 0 an option? Do you notice the heat or the cold more? HEAT, JESUS FUCK. It can be one or two degrees above what I consider stable and I'll be sweating. I'm hypersensitive to it I know from being in such a consistent temperature in my room like 24/7. Do you believe in miracles? Probably no. What hurts more: scratches or bites? Bites, if you're talking serious ones. Do you prefer rabbits to mice? No, mice (and especially rats) are absolutely amazing, intelligent animals. Bonus points for being mega cute too, though I do find rabbits cuter. Who out of all the people you know reasonably well is the most "dark?" Sara, haha. Favorite chocolate-based candy? Reese's. Do you call anyone babe or baby? My pets sometimes. Name me a food you used to like that you now don't: Peas, olives. Name me a food you now like but never used to: Mashed potatoes, IF prepared very well (by my standards, obviously). Would you rather live in Europe, The US, or Australia? By this point, take me to Europe. If it wouldn't be such a huge life change and leaving so many people, I would 120% move to Canada, but out of these, Europe will do. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids, or a high flying job? Give me the high-flying job, 100%. I don't want kids, and I have no need for a large house. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What’s your town/city most well-known for? By the locals, being the crime hub, actually, lol. Name 5 objects that you don’t have but would like right now: Hmmm... I want a 40g tank as an upgrade for Venus, a gaming chair for when I turn the extra room into my "office" so I don't destroy my back sitting there, new glasses and a driving permit, and don't forget a gd tattoo needle pounding my skin. :^) If you were given the choice to choose your child’s gender, would you? Yes, I would absolutely want a girl just because IF I wanted kids, I'd want a daughter named Alessandra. Do you get along well with your family doctor/your doctor? Yeah, she's nice. What types of soups do you like? None. If a color could reflect your current mood, which would it be? Grayish blue. The last time you saw fireworks? I really don't know; it's been years, at least. Have you ever gone to a movie premiere? Possibly for Silent Hill: Revelation, but I'm not certain. Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud? My mom, because she made me remember something funny. What was the last commercial you heard selling? *shrug* Do you prefer fairly common names or a bit out of the ordinary ones? Oh, definitely rare and unique ones. Would you rather have a pet cat, dog, horse or tortoise? At this current time, a dog for Mom, which we're actually probably getting. She misses having one super badly. Is your laugh loud, normal or very silent? My laugh is loud and obnoxious as fuck. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Tarantulas, probably. I love them, even though spiders kinda scare me. Last movie you watched the whole way through? Elf, I think, with Sara's fam. What's your favorite fruit? Strawberries are where it's at. Last time you drank coffee? I've only ever sipped coffee to try to see if I liked it. Never have. I THINK I last took a sip of Sara's when we went on a breakfast date? Has anyone ever called you rich? Calling me rich would be entirely ludicrous. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? A couple years ago, coming home from Illinois. Favorite flavor muffin? Uggghhhh chocolate. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. I tend to find circles visually appealing. Did you take Music when you were in school? I think all the elementary school students did. I was also in band in middle and high school; I played the flute. Why did you last feel like crying? I'm just sick of how my life is going. Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting, or indifferent? I find it either awkward or terrifying, depending on the gender. It's not a willing thing or intended sexism whatsoever, I'm just naturally afraid of men. Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? No. Does someone’s background affect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Well, it depends on what they've done. How about their religious background? No. If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? Nope, bye. Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No. How about a fashion designer? No. Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire aesthetically, but ice is certainly less intimidating. When happy, do you become more talkative? OH yes. Are you offended easily by non-politically correct language? No, really. I wouldn't say derogatory terms, but I really don't understand why most people put so much weight into a single made-up word. But again, you won't hear that language coming out of my mouth because I understand that it just does hurt some people, and I respect that. Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? It's gone overboard, imo. What's your I.Q? I don't want to know, haha. Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? No. Do you know anyone who is scared of you? Um, no. What person who has died would you bring back and why? Probably Steve Irwin. His children have done FUCKING FANTASTIC at carrying on his legacy and purpose, but I feel he could've taught the world so much more than he had time to... Do you like watermelon? No. Too watery. Can you remember the month of your first kiss? Yes, actually. March. What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? I'm unsure, really. Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? Both. What artist's paintings do you find the most beautiful? This is an impossible question. What about the most disturbing? Oh man, I watch this one person on deviantART that makes especially creepy artwork. I follow a loooot of dark artists, though, so it's difficult to pick. Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? A church-related summer thing, yes, as a kid. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Pokemon was/is where it's at. What was your biggest fear as a child? Thunderstorms, holy shit. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Be able to breathe underwater. What about invisibility or mindreading? Definitely invisibility. Mindreading would just... suck. Hurt. Especially if you couldn't control it. Which stereotype do you dislike the most? Good question, considering I hate a shit ton. Can you remember all your past teachers names? No, not all of them. Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I don't mind watching 'em. I particularly used to love America's Got Talent. Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes; I failed horribly at my final math exam the last time I was in school. Are you on any meds? Too many. Just way too many for someone my age. I'm really starting to think I'm over-medicated to where it's dulling my senses, feelings, and also destroying my memory. But I kinda need like... all of them. I'm talking to my psychiatrist in just a couple days though, actually, and I'm going to talk to him about maybe trying to wean me off my OCD med, since I haven't had big symptoms in a long time. I wanna see how I deal without it. What color is your razor? Black and orange. What is your fave frozen treat? Just the classic ice cream. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? We tend to get our groceries from Wal-Mart. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YESSIREE. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? I don't think there's anyone that is widely disliked, no. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Other than yourself, who did you last buy something for? Mom. What's something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting. It's hard to ignore when taking one step is painful. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? I certainly haven't talked about it in-depth, but it's been mentioned in some way when I was with Jason. I mean we were together for three and a half years, sexually active (and I ain't doing jackshit if it's that time of the month), and I spent as much time with him as possible, so... it woulda came up. I'm sure he was indifferent about it, he was a mature guy. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? No. I've never even heard of one around here. Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? Back up two questions, haha. That was normal. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? Shit man, I love tattoos. I'd obviously not care. How have you been feeling today? Depressed. Where’s your phone right now? On my chest. I'm lying down. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? ugh When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? I never have. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? I don't remember their names, honestly... but the chocolate and peanut butter ones come to mind.

[diddlesanddoodles]

DUMPLING ch 29

She wanted to cry, she could feel the emotion swelling up in her, but she was so tired she just whimpered and shook, burying her face into her mother’s cloak. Long thin arms wrapped around her and held her tightly with a surprising amount of strength.

Please never let go...

“My baby,” Oira sobbed into her daughter's shoulder as she hugged her tightly. “My precious girl. Oh, how badly I’ve wished to hold you again...”

“Where did you go?” Nenani cried, unaware of her hands as they began to glow and pulse. “Where...where did you...where were you all this time...?”

“I didn’t want to leave you,” she said thickly. “I didn’t and then I couldn’t risk coming back. I didn’t want him to hurt you.”

For several long moments, it was all they did. Holding onto one another as though it were keeping the sky anchored to the ground. When at last they broke apart, Nenani looked into her mother’s eyes. They were older. Sadder. World wary. But they were still her mother’s eyes. Oira huffed a wet teary laugh and ran her fingers through Nenani’s hair and rubbing her forehead.

“I saw it all,” she said quietly. “I saw the dragon fall from the sky...in flames.”

Nenani but her lip and looked away. “I...I don’t know what happened.”

“You bloomed,” Oira said with a pained look. She was trying to smile as though she knew she should be happy, but it only brought her pain. “I had hoped that my seal would hold longer, but...I am glad it broke. He would have you by now if it hadn’t. Though he will be wondering where his pet has gone soon. We don’t have much time, we have to circle back and get Haiyer. But we must be quiet.”

“Haiyer? Who is Haiyer?”

Her mother smiled, a genuine smile with no sadness. “You will see.” Her mother took her hand and together they began to walk and Nenani’s hands dimmed and the glow died away.

“Mama?” she asked.

“Yes?”

“What about Keral?”

Her mother looked at her. “Who?”

“Keral. The ranger.”

Her mother’s grip on her hand tightened. “You don’t have to worry about him. He’ll be chasing his own tail for a while yet.”

“But...he’ll worry where I went.”

“Good. We’ll be miles away by the time he’s noticed.”

Nenani stopped and looked at her mother in bewilderment. “What? But Mama, he’s...”

There was a loud crash from far off into the woods, back the way they had come and she heard Keral call for her, his voice loud. “Nenani! Where are ya, lass?”

“Oh, there! Mama, that’s Keral,” Nenani said, pulling back towards where she head the ranger calling. But her mother suddenly grabbed her wrist, painfully, and yanked her back and began to run again.

“We must go, my sweet,” Oira said, real panic in her voice. “Quickly! Or he will find us.”

“What?” Nenani asked, suddenly understanding. Her mother thought Keral meant to harm them. “No! Mama, he’s my friend!”

“Friend? Nenani,” Oira said, looking at her child as though she were insane. “He is a Vhasshalan Ranger. A blue coat. They eat people!”

She tried to pull her hand free. “Not him! He saved me.”

“I saved you,” her mother said to her sternly. “From him!”

“Mama no! He’s nice! Really!” Keral’s calls for her echoed through the forest and she struggled against her mother’s grip and her fervent pulling. When she could not free herself, she turned her head towards the sound of Keral’s voice and yelled. “Keral! Keral, I’m here!”

Oria looked at her daughter in horror. “What? Stop that, you stupid girl. He will find us!”

“He won’t eat us!” she told her mother. “He’s a good person!”

“You don’t know what he’s done,” Oira cried out, her voice shaking with fear. “What those blue coats have done to our people.”

She looked into her mother’s eyes and saw hate and fear and she met them with her own stubborn insistent glare. “Not. Keral.”

Her mother seemed at a loss as to what to do, clearly not expecting to fight her own child. However, the sound of fast approaching footfalls and the crashing of trees drew both their attentions and Oria grabbed her daughter and forced Nenani behind her.  Keral came barreling through the woods, his face hard and angry and looked very much like his brother in that moment. But there was a savage gleam to his eyes that made Nenani understand why the blue coats were so feared by humans.

The ranger stopped several dozen yards from them, eyeing the human woman shielding Nenani with a severe sneer. “I think ye have somethin’ a’ mine, woman.”

Oira glared up at him, her hands flexing into fists. “I think you need to leave, giant...”

“Not without the lass,” he said, one hand pressing to his breast pocket.

“You’ll have to take her from my corpse!” Oira said and she lifted her arms and Nenani watched as her mother’s fingers began to glow and from them came a swirl of bright angry fire. Keral looked at the human woman and there was fear in his eyes. Not like when he had faced Nenani’s flames. He knew she would never deliberately hurt him. But her mother...her mother meant to hurt him. Kill him.

Nenani broke free of her mother and ran towards the ranger, yelling. “NO! MAMA DON’T!”

She felt the heat of Oira’s fire as it flew towards Keral and Nenani raised her arms as though she could grab it. No, no, no, no, no, no! Nenani felt her own fire pull from the well of fear from inside her and just as Oira’s fire would have consumed Keral, a wall of yellow heat swept up and devoured it in a terrifying display. Red and orange flames danced and swirled into the air before breaking apart and dissolving into sparks and embers that floated harmlessly down around them like rain.

Nenani ran to stand in front of the stunned ranger, her arms spread out as though her little frame were enough to shield a being so much larger than herself. “MAMA NO! Please listen! He really is my friend! He doesn’t eat people!”

She heard Keral move above her and looking up, she saw him kneel down behind her, one hand still pressed to his breast pocket. He was smiling, but he was clearly shaken. He rubbed her back with his knuckle. “Thank ya fer that, lass.”

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Oira yelled, her hands still glowing. “Get away from him, Nenani!”

“Mama, please listen!”

“NO! All of this...all of what I have done was for this not to happen!” her mother was crying, hot angry tears. “Everything! So you would be safe! From monsters like him!”

Nenani wanted to go to her mother, but she feared leaving Keral open to her anger. “Mama, please...”

Her mother laid her face into her hands and shook back and forth in anguish. “We did not know if you would take after me and I didn’t want to risk the chance that word would reach to others that a new Mage had been born. I was afraid they would come to kill you or take you away.” She took a shuddering breath. “So I put a seal on you so that if you did ever bloom, it would stay inside and eventually it would die. A smothered flame. You would never know the heartache that it would bring and you would be safe! From Vhasshal and from Aidus.”

Above her, Keral laughed humorlessly. “Why would she need protection from Vhasshal?”

Her glowing hands pulsed and burst into open flames. Her mother stared at Keral with pure hate. “How could you look at me and ask me that question? How many humans’ lives have you ended? How many have you eaten? How many of my people are dead because of you?!”

Keral stood, sneering down at the human woman. “Yes, I’ve killed. It was war. I’m sure none of you lot were gonna be losin’ any sleep over my rotting carcass. But I never have and never will eat a human. I know plenty who have. Far too many who enjoy it too.” He grabbed the edge of his blue ranger’s coat and pulled at it. “But I took this post to reign in that disgusting act and I won’t stand here and pretend I’ve been perfect at it, but I’ve spent the last decade picking up the fuckin’ pieces of what’s left of yer people and findin’ them some place to go. Far more of ye little fucks are alive than dead because of me.”

“You mean rounding us up and herding us all away from our homes!”

“Safer than lettin’ ye stay to wait fer the real fuckers to come around who really would eat ya and gladly too,” Keral growled. His eyes narrows and his mouth quirked into a knowing grin. “And I’m bettin’ you were one of ‘em, weren’t ya?” he jerked his head towards Nenani. “If yer really this one’s Mum, then most certainly. First few groups of refugees we ever came across we sent to the Southlands. As far from our country as we could get ‘em. Been thinkin’ she was one of ‘em fer a while and now I’m thinking even more that I’m absolutely sure ya were. Because I remember a snippy red haired lass who gave me hell chasin’ her down. And then she had the fucking brilliant idea to abandon her wee babe in the woods thinking I wouldn’t find her.”

“I was trying to protect her!” Oira shouted, the accusation stinging her pride. “There were blue coat everywhere. I was trying to draw you monsters away from her!”

Keral laughed sardonically. “Oh aye. And a right fine job ya did too,” Keral snapped back, gesturing down to Nenani. “She was waddling around callin’ fer ya all out in the open like. Yer lucky a wolf didn’t snap her up before I found her.”

“And then you threatened to eat her!” Oira screamed back. “How is that any better?”

“I wouldn’t have hurt a hair on wee head!” Keral replied, his voice loud and thunderous.

“Don’t lie to me, I remember! You dangled her over your fucking mouth you sick son-of-a-bitch!”

Nenani blinked, a strange swell of memory filtering through the haze. She remembered her mother pushing her into the roots of a large tree and telling her to be quiet. That she loved her. And then she was gone and Nenani had waiting for such a long time for her to come back. But she didn’t. She was all alone. So she had left the protection of the tree and started to wander around, calling for her parents, but she couldn’t find them. And then Keral had found her. He picked her up and...took her. He spoke softly to her when she started to cry. She remembered other rangers corralling a group of terrified humans together and then Keral held her out to them all, asking in an angry gruff voice, “Alright, which one a’ ye little fucks is the genius? Who’s lil’un is this?”

No one had answered, they could only stare and tremble, surely believing they were all going to die. And Keral growled. “No takers then?” Again, no one answered and Keral had grinned at them all, flashing his teeth in a deliberate display. “Ah, well...if no one wants her then...”

Suddenly he held her above his head and she was looking down into his open mouth as he dangled the small girl over it and she screamed, wailing and calling for her mother.  

“SHE’S MINE!” cried a voice from the throngs of the crowd and a woman pressed through and fell to her knees. “PLEASE! Let her go!”

“Mama!” she remembered screaming and feeling so afraid. The memory of that night faded and the sound of Keral’s shouting brought her back to the present.

“I was bluffin’ ya mad fucking cow!” Keral yelled back, exasperated. “Only a fuckin’ monster would do that! And as much as ye may think me one, I ain’t so deprived as to actually eat anyone. Least of all a wee babe. But ye left a lil’ girl all on her own without a lick a’ protection!” He reached into the large pocket of his coat and pulled something out. “And now I find ya again after all these years and yer out here doin’ the same damn thing!”

Keral opened his palm to reveal a small boy, weeping and curled into a ball. Her mother’s looked at the boy with wide wild eyes and the flame of her hands whirled around, agitated and angry like the fur of a bristling cat. “RELEASE HIM NOW!”

Keral didn’t flinched, his fingers closing around the little boy marginally. “I ain’t gonna hurt yer pup, girl. Now douse them flames. Yer scarin’ ‘im.”

“I’m scaring him?”

Keral snorted and shook his head. Bending down, he lowered his hand to let the little boy go, but the child did not move, too scared to even look around and could only shake and whimper pathetically. With a huff, Keral plucked the boy up with his fingers and sat him on his feet, nudging him towards Oira with a soft push of his finger. “Go on then, pup. Yer worryin’ yer Mum there.”

Nenani watched, numb, as the small boy chanced a glance up to Keral and fresh new tears falling from his cheeks, before he then turned to rush towards his mother. Oria flicked her hands and the flames died just as she bent down to scoop the small child into her arms and pull him tightly to her. “Haiyer! Oh, sweetie, you were supposed to stay hidden!”

“I got scared!” the little boy wailed. He had dark hair like her father and his eyes too. Haiyer, she thought dimly. That had been her grandfather’s name hadn’t it? Oria looked up to her daughter and seeing in her eyes confusion and want and so many questions. “I didn’t want you two to meet like this. I had hoped...nevermind. It’s done now.”  

Nenani didn’t move or say anything as her kther smiled that sad smile again and held her hand out to her. “Nenani, come to me. Please.”

She didn’t move at first, but she felt something brush her back and Keral’s voice washed over her as he said to her quietly, “Go on, sweetling.”

Nenani slowly walked towards her mother, not taking her eyes off the small boy. Her chest felt heavy and there was prickling behind her eyes. She slipped her hand into her mother’s and Oira gently kissed it before guiding it to the little boy’s chest. “Nenani. This is Haiyer. You’re brother.”

Haiyer turned to look at Nenani, blinking at her with large wet eyes. “...Nenani?”

“Yes,” her mother said to him sweetly. “This is your sister. Do you remember me telling you about her?”

Little Hayier pulled his hands from around his mother’s neck and turned to Nenani and wrapped them around her as though it were the most natural thing to do and Nenani stiffened under his soft little hands. “Hello sister.”

Nenani burst into tears as she wrapped her arms around the little boy, pressing her face to his hair. “H-hello...”

…………………………………………………………

“So where were you taking her then?” Oira asked Keral as he eased himself down to sit against the truck of a particularly large tree. Nenani sat in the dirt with Haiyer and together they were stacking the small rocks and twigs. Haiyer was very young. No older than five, maybe four, and wore a tunic clearly meant for an adult, but had been shorted at the bottom and the collar crudely sewn so it would sit on his small shoulders. He didn’t have any shoes either and it seemed awfully cold for a little boy t be wandering out without shoes.

Though Oira and Keral were no long shouting at one another, Nenani still felt the uncomfortable aura all around and she tried to keep her attention on her brother – Gods above she had a brother! - she would send nervous glances to the adults. Haiyer couldn’t relax either, but she assumed it was more to do with Keral’s presence than anything. He would repeatedly look over his shoulder towards where Keral was sitting and fidget nervously as though trying to decide if he should run away back to his mother or continue playing with Nenani. Keral didn’t seem to notice, or so Nenani thought. The fourth time the little boy turned to look at the ranger though, Keral was staring back and making a face. Haiyer jumped, giving a small cry of alarm and ran to hide behind Nenani.

“Now who’s the one scaring him?” Oira demanded, bristling.

Nenani grabbed up their stones and sticks and turned around, drawing Hiayer’s focus from Keral to her and the rocks and she showed him a bluish colored rock she had found, telling him to hold onto it. “It’s magic,” she whispered to him. Haiyer’s eyes lit up and he nodded back conspiratorially.

“What? I just looked at ‘im,” Keral replied in defense of himself and shrugged.

“Beleive me. It’s enough,”  Oria answered curtly and in clear displeasure. She looked over to where both her children were playing. “Now again. Where were you taking my daughter?”

“Back to Vhasshal,” He said simply. “Not safe fer her out here. Or you and the boy fer that matter. Lad doesn’t even have shoes fer fuck sakes.”

Oira glared at the ranger. “He grew out of his old one and it isn’t as though there’s a cobbler shop just down the way.” She rolled her eyes. “You giants all think the same. Just because we’re smaller than you that we constantly need your aide. It’s insulting.”

“Heh, well sorry fer bruisin’ yer pride, lass, but it don’t make it any less true,” Keral shot back. “’Specially now with how the world is. Ain’t many of ye left.”

“And whose doing was that?”

Keral leveled a warning eye to her. “If ye wanna play in that particular mud puddle, lass, I can fight pretty damn dirty. Or we can talk like the adults we supposedly are and set a good example fer ye lil’uns over there.”  

“Fine,” she said, grinding her teeth. “But still. Why the hell would Vhasshal be any safer for her then out here?”

Keral scoffed. “Woman, she’s been livin’ there with us fer almost three months.”

Oira looked scandalized and her fingers began to glow. “You’ve been keeping my daughter prisoner for three months?!”

“Oi! Douse that fire, girl! She ain’t been no prisoner,” Keral growled, waving his hand as though it would blow out the woman’s smoldering fingers. “My brother’s been takin’ care a’ her since she showed up on our doorstep in a fruit basket. Alone. By herself. Startin’ to see a pattern yet? Because I sure fuckin’ am.”

“What?” the woman asked, seeming to have a hard time following the ranger’s story. “What do you mean she ‘showed up in a fruit basket’?”

“Just as I said. Last day of the King’s weddin’ feast and that one there pops out of a basket a’...” He looked to Nenanai. “Oi, lass. What basket were ya stowin’ away in again?”

“Persimmons,” Nenani replied. “It was a basket of persimmons.”

“Aye, that’s right,” Keral nodded with a laugh. “Persimmons.”

Oira rounded on Nenani, incredulous and angry. “Wha...why were you in a persimmon basket, Nenani?”

“I got hungry and tried to just take one before the Beastmen noticed, but I fell in by accident and then I got stuck.”

“Where was Halden?” Oira demanded.

“...he died,” Nenani replied softly.

Oira’s anger drained from her face as she studied her child and sighed. “He...what about the others? Surly someone took you in? Casper or Juno maybe?”

Nenani shook her head. “No. They...they didn’t want me around. They said I was bad luck or cursed.”

A horrified understanding crept across her mother’s face and a wave of anguish took over.

Keral added, “One a’ my brother’s lads caught her runnin’ round the back kitchen yard.”

“His name is Yale,” Nenani told her mother, trying to cheer her up. It made her heart hurt to see her so sad. “He’s really nice, Mama.”

Oira did not say anything as she walked over to Nenani and crouched down behind her to wrap her thin arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. “They didn’t hurt you?” Oira asked quietly, seeming distressed and confused. Nenani shook her head and feeling her mother begin to shake, Nenani became concerned.

“Mama? Mama, are you alright?”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” she said, pressing her face into Nenani’s hair. “I’m sorry for not being there to protect you. I...I never thought Halden would...and then the others. Oh, baby you must have been so scared...”

At hearing her mother’s quiet weeping, Nenani could not hold back herself and just let the warmth of her mother’s touch coax out her own tears. She had never blamed her mother for not being there as she always thought she was dead and it would be so easy now to hate her for never having never come back. For those years she spent alone and just desperately trying to stay alive...but she was so happy she had her mother back that she didn’t care anymore.

Haiyer looked at them, joining in their collective weeping and crawled over to hug Nenani. All three of them stayed that way and said nothing. Keral watched them silently, a warm smile on his lips and when Nenani looked his way, he gave her a wink.

  “I’m glad...I’m glad there are still kind Vhasshalans left,” Oira said, pulling away. Nenani laid back so her head rested in her mother’s lap and seeming to not want to be left out, Haiyer got up and waddled over to his mother other side and laid his head down as well. She lightly stroked both of her children’s heads, an aching smile on her face. “Very glad...”

“Farris said he was gonna put me into the stew when Yale brought me to him,” Nenani said. “But it was a joke.”

“It’s just how Farris scares off thieves,” Keral added when he saw the look on the woman’s face. “Not so much nowadays, but he use to get humans comin’ in and stealing from the stores pretty often and there were still a lot of folks working in the castle who wouldn’t think twice about snatching a wayward human up. So he started puttin’ some fear into ‘em whenever he caught one. Threatened he’d eat ‘im and what not so they’d stay away. Then either let ‘em go or send ‘em to the Hill Tribes.”

“What are the Hill tribes?”

“After all the killin’ was over, the King put aside some land fer the refugees to set up as their own place within Vhasshal’s borders where his mandate and guards could protect them.”

“I don’t understand. What mandate?”

“Warren’s mandate,” Keral replied. “First thing he did when he was crowed was to declare it illegal to eat humans by punishment of death.”

“Warren...you mean the youngest Prince?” she asked, her interest piqued. “Why is he King? What of his brothers?”

Keral nodded. “Only son left. All the rest are dead. The war claimed ‘em along with a whole lot of other folks. His sister’s passed too. Birthing Fever.”

A pained looked fell over Oira’s face and she nodded. “I see. So his father is dead then as well, I take it.”

“Aye. A knife or two through the back’ll do that.”

“What?” she asked in real alarm and looked into Keral’s face. “When?”

“Been a while now. Nine years?” Keral replied, his face hard as he idly scratched his chin. “The man went mad with blood lust. The war had to end and it weren’t gonna do that while he still breathed. He wasn’t gonna stop until every human on the continent was dead.”

“So. He...he was assassinated?”

“He was. Funny that ye didn’t know that, lass.” Oira was silent for a very long time and Nenani observed her, she seemed to be thinking about something very hard. Her eyes flickered to Nenani and then to Haiyer and to Keral. Whatever was in her head, it seemed to trouble her greatly.

“Giant,” she said at last. She did not meet his eye.

“Name’s Keral, woman.”

“Fine. Keral,” she amended and turned her head up to regard the ranger with a serious and almost desperate expression. “Do you swear that Nenani is safe there? In Vhasshal? On your honor, do you swear it?”

Keral shifted and leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees and regarding the human woman with a serious expression of his own. “I do. My brother loves that lil’ girl,” he said with a jerk of his head towards Nenani. “And I guarantee he’s in pieces thinkin’ that dragon she burnt up had went on and killed her.”  

She took a deep breath and said, “I...I have a request for you, then.”

Keral quirked one eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Alright then.”

“Will you take Haiyer with you?”

The ranger looked surprised and then suspicious. “The lass I’m takin’ regardless. But why ye want the lad to go?”

“He’d be safer. Like you say, the wilds aren’t any place for a little boy. And winter will be here soon.”

Keral did not say anything for a few seconds and then said, “Yer not tellin’ me eveythin’ lass. Just a bit ago you were spiting fire at the idea of takin’ yer girl. Almost roasted my arse fer it. What inspired ye to change yer mind all a’ sudden?”

“Because I believe my daughter,” she replied. “… and because she reminded me that there was a time when your people and mine were friends. Before the war. And those people still do exist. In exchange for taking them...I will tell you a story.”

“Oh? And what story is that?”

“One only two people alive know.”

“Which is…?”

Oira sighed and took a long deep breath before she continued. “...if you agree to take my children to Vhasshal and swear that they will be safe there,” she said, a fire burning in her eyes as she looked to the Ranger. “Then I will tell you the truth of Crown Prince Thadeus’s death...”

[caligobeltrao]

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol. 

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching. 

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction. 

Let’s just jump in, shall we? 

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual. 

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts. 

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in. 

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool. 

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman. 

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil. 

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot. 

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show. 

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole. 

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them. 

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book. 

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney. 

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him. 

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around. 

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard. 

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional. 

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted. 

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice. 

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network. 

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words. 

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus. 

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel. 

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris. 

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me. 

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!! 

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal. 

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose. 

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really. 

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really. 

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots. 

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross. 

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have. 

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here. 

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know. 

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire. 

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion. 

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!! 

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know. 

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her. 

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window. 

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing. 

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel. 

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble. 

[emeraldwaves]

Title: A Dragon’s Egg Pairing:  Kacchako Rating: T Word Count:  2,462 Read on Ao3 Summary:  

Though their baby hasn't hatched yet, Ochako keeps carrying around the egg to keep it safe.

This was written for @supereveylg !! We had talked about this fic forever and finally its here!! ILU so much! <3

Fic under the cut!

Bakugou twisted his lips, folding his arms across his chest as he stared at the woman he loved. She sat on the floor of their small hut, gently rubbing her hand over the top of the gold and pink scaled egg.

He rolled his eyes, watching as she hummed softly, leaning her cheek against it with a sigh.

"Oi, Ochako, the fuck are you doing?" he grunted, slamming the wooden door behind him

She yelped, blinking as she wrapped her arms protectively around the egg, as if she didn't know who had just entered their home. "Oh... Katsuki..." she breathed out, relief washing over her features.

"Who the hell did you think it was?" he asked, kicking off his boots before taking a seat next to her.

"I-I dunno..." she muttered. "But I got nervous." She let out a long sigh. "This whole baby situation is making me nervous."

Bakugou looked at her blankly. He wouldn't exactly call it a baby situation. Not yet at least. "Why the hell is it making you nervous?" he said, watching the way her fingers stroked over the upper curve of the egg.

"Because it's our baby," she whispered. "But... he’s still stuck in this egg."

Bakugou sighed, puffing out his cheeks. Though he wouldn't necessarily call it a 'baby' situation, it certainly was an 'odd' one. It had been a damn miracle they even had the egg in the first place. Humans and dragons were not supposed to mate this way apparently, or so they had learned the hard way. Instinctively, he moved closer to her, reminded of how close he had been to losing her.

There was no way he would've allowed that to happen.

They had gotten the egg out of her by using her magic, transforming her into a dragon for a short amount of time. With how panicked they both had been, Bakugou was honestly just happy to have her and the egg alive.

And now, Ochako was glued to the egg, refusing to leave it's side.

"Yeah, that's normal," Bakugou said, finally answering her.

Ochako's lips twisted. "Most women get to hold their baby when they give birth... this waiting is painful."

"It would go by faster if you would do something besides watch it all day," Bakugou snorted, nudging the side of her shoulder.

"But then he'll be all alone!" Ochako gasped, pressing her hand to her chest. "We can't leave him alone!"

Actually she could, that was the whole point of having the egg. They could leave the baby to grow on it's own, it was meant to be preparation time, but Ochako didn't see it like that. He knew she was far more comfortable with human customs; having the baby and immediately taking care of it...

Humans did things so oddly.

"Bakugou Katsuki," she snapped, wrapping her arms around the small pink and gold egg. She lifted it close to her cheek, nuzzling her face against it before holding out the egg to him. "This is our baby."

"That, is an egg."

She frowned again, pulling the egg immediately back. "You don't get to hold him then" she huffed.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I'm going to get fuckin' ready."

Ochako brushed her fingers over the scaled egg, smiling at it. The amount of times Bakugou had seen her do that in the past week… She looked adorable as hell but…

"Get ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," he grunted. "Dinner... with my shitty parents."

"Katsuki..." she sighed, picking the egg up as she stood. "Don't be rude to your parents. They've been helping us so much. And besides your mother is just as excited about the baby as we are."

Yeah, his mother was really leaning into the whole egg thing too.

Ochako walked past him, cupping the egg to her chest. "I'm going to get changed," she hummed and paused in front of him, her large, beautiful eyes staring up at him. "Katsuki," she said, leaning toward him. "I can feel your frustration, or did you forget that?"

He growled. Damn magical bond. How the fuck was he supposed to do anything with her knowing everything?!

"Look, just leave the damn egg here! That's what all dragon mothers do!" he snapped.

"Katsuki, it's our baby!" she snapped back, the anger burning deep in his chest. He could feel the way it simmered and seared against his heart. She was truly enraged... which made sense he supposed given how protective she was. "If we leave the egg here, we might miss it hatching! Or worse, it'll hatch and then be all alone!"

"Most dragon babies hatch alone."

Again, the anger flared in his chest, the aura in the air thick and full of frustration. "I'm bringing the egg," she snapped, storming into their room. She angrily slammed the door, the whole goddamn house shaking.

At first this whole situation had been cute. Ochako had clung to the egg while being an overprotective mother, but then it became apparent she was never going to let it go. Even the few times she looked stupidly adorable, Bakugou didn't want her to keep living her life around the egg.

The whole point was to give the child time to grow away from the parents and keep it warm while it continued developing. All dragons eventually leave their parents... it was only a matter of time...

Fuck. There was no way that was going to be pleasant. Thankfully it was years away.

Swinging the door open, Ochako narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you getting all panicky about?" she asked, gently tapping the front of her chest.

"Oi, I'm not panicking. Hurry and change! I don't feel like dealing with the hag."

"Don't be so rude to your mother," she sighed, coming out with her long pink robes. She had a wrap around her chest, tying the egg securely to her chest. She smiled as she stroked her hand over the top. "We had some movement! I would let you touch, but you would try and steal him from me."

A small growl slipped from Bakugou's lips. She was so unruly as a mother already... though he was certain she would calm down a bit once the egg hatched. Then she could just follow their kid around.

"It's not... stealing, it's my kid too."

"Aha!" she gasped, pointing her finger toward him. "So you do agree it's our baby?"

"The egg isn't our damn kid. It's keeping our brat safe-"

"Katsuki!"

He sighed, rolling his eyes. He wasn't going to get her to put the egg down, so he might as well get them moving to his parents house. He slipped his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "C'mon Cheeks," he muttered.

As frustrating as her attachment to the egg was, she did look so damn cute this way... all protective and worried. It only made him want to protect her.

She smirked, glancing up toward him. She lifted a finger slowly, poking his cheek. "You're thinking about me, Katsuki," she whispered.

"'Course I am! You're my fucking mate," he snapped.

"So maybe you don't hate this after all," she purred, letting her fingers trail over the top of the egg.

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou rolled his eyes. "I never hated it. But it will be okay by itself."

"Nope!" she smiled, gently rubbing the top of the egg. "I told you! I don't want to miss it!" she sighed.

Bakugou glanced down at the egg and sighed, lacing his fingers together with hers as she touched over the shell.

"Alright, alright," he muttered, walking with her to the door to tap on it a few times.

"Well, well, well," Mitsuki's voice was loud, just like Bakguou's, though her timbre was more feminine. "Seems like my idiot son finally showed up and... oh my gosh, you brought the baby!"

Bakugou groaned, rolling his eyes as he stepped inside the house. The air smelled of cooking meat, corn and potatoes. Good. At least now he could focus on his food.

"Of course I did! I didn't want him to hatch when we were home," Ochako explained.

Mitsuki leaned over Ochako, letting her fingers brush over the small scales on top of the pink and gold egg. "No, you wouldn't want to miss it."

"Katsuki is still being grouchy about it."

"Oh, he's been like that since he was in his egg," Mitsuki said, waving him off. "He can come help me set the table, you can go rest on the couch while we finish everything up."

Before anyone could protest, Mitsuki was dragging Bakugou to the kitchen. Immediately, she yanked on his ear, Bakugou growling as she did.

"Oi! Hag! What gives?" he snapped.

"Be nice to your mate," she said, handing him some carrots to peel.

"I am being nice! I'm trying to help her calm down!"

"Doesn't seem like it!" Mitsuki hissed, setting up the table with various bows and utensils. "She's just... nesting," Mitsuki whispered. "I didn't like going far from you either."

"Yeah yeah..."

He glanced into the living room where Ochako sat with her eyes closed, her fingers gently touching over the top of the egg. She was beautiful... his mate... the woman he loved... the mother of their soon-to-be child.

Admittedly, he knew this was probably her idea of nesting. Female dragons usually stayed in dragon form near the nest with however many eggs they had... but as a human it would be impossible for Ochako to do that.

She was so damn perfect, despite her clingy behavior. He supposed his mother was right, as much as it pained him to admit it.

Turning toward him, she smiled, her cheeks red. She could feel their bond, obviously she knew he was thinking about it. If only she could take in his scent too, it would probably help her calm down. He could tell how anxious she had been over this lately.

Before he could speak, a gasp slipped from Ochako's lips and she jumped up. "G-Guys! Dinner might have to wait!" she said and dropped to her knees, unfolding the wrap around her chest to make it closer to a purse.

"Cheeks?!" Bakugou growled, rushing to her side immediately.

On the top of the egg there was a crack, faintly appearing between the scales.

"I-It's hatching!" Ochako giggled, holding the egg close to her chest. "Finally we can welcome you to the world!"

"I'll get some water and blankets," Mistuki said, her voice hushed.

The cracks in the eggs continued to grow, cracking down the side, the tiny crackle noise echoing in the small hut. Anxiety pulsed through Bakugou's veins, their magic mingling together... he was going to be the best damn father that there was. He was sure of it.

Mitsuki returned, dropping the blankets to the floor as she created a small nest, an easy place for them to rest the egg down. "Here," she said, gesturing for them to place it down in the small area.

Nodding, Ochako leaned forward, placing the egg on the makeshift nest as she watched the start of the cracks begin to drop off the egg. Small little bumps appeared as the tiny baby inside attempted to push out of the confines of the egg prison.

"Yes!" Ochako cheered. "You got this, we've been dying to meet you," she whispered, taking Bakugou's hand in her own.

He swallowed, watching with wide eyed as the egg cracked and moved, pieces of the shell falling away. One leg kicked out from the shell and then another. A small golden tail wrapped around his tiny body. With one final push, his head popped through the last crack. His hair was a deep brown, the same color as Ochako's and his eyes were a deep red color, just like Bakugou's. Scales covered his round cheeks, his ears pointed and long.

He looked at his parents wide-eyed, glancing between the two of them, curiosity in his eyes. Large, bubbling tears watered up in his eyes, slowly dripping down his round cheeks, and he began to wail, his voice loud.

"He has your voice, Katsuki!" Mitsuki teased.

"Shut it!" he snapped.

Ochako gasped, covering her mouth, her brown eyes watering as she looked at their son. "He's finally here..." she whispered.

"Don't cry too you idiot," Bakugou muttered.

"I'm... I'm sorry I just..." she slowly reached forward and picked him up. "Our baby," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Don’t cry baby boy," she said through her bubbling tears. She hushed him, rocking him in her hands. With a soft giggle, the baby reached forward, his tiny palms touching at Ochako's own cheeks.

"Now that is a baby," Bakugou snorted.

Ochako's fingers brushed over the baby's cheek, touching at his small scales while he giggled.

"Don't worry," Mitsuki said softly. She picked up a damp cloth and brushed off his forehead. "All dragons are born with scales and tails. It takes them a bit to learn how to hide it."

"That's okay he's perfect, he never has to hide it," Ochako sniffled

Bakugou smirked, gently touching at the tiny boy's cheek where the scales covered his face.

"It reminds me of how you were when I first met you," she whispered, and Bakugou couldn't take his eyes off her. Of course his son was incredible, and he already adored the kid even more than himself, but Ochako... She seemed the happiest he had ever seen or felt her, his heart warming up. Her round cheeks were flushed, her lips curled into the most perfect smile.

He loved this damn family he had somehow gotten so lucky with.

"What are you going to call him?" Mitsuki asked.

"We decided on Shouhei," Ochako whispered. "We want his life to be peaceful... so he can soar through the skies and be free."

"It's lovely," Mitsuki smiled.

Ochako held the little boy so close, cooing and giggling with him.

Why were they so damn perfect?

"Katsuki," Ochako said softly, looking toward him. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked, holding the small boy out to him.

"Yeah," he muttered, scooping him up into his arms. Shouhei's eyes were big and round, just like his mother, and he stared up at Bakugou, squirming in his hands, his tail wagging back and forth. Good, he was happy to see the kid had so much energy. "He's so damn perfect."

"I told you," Ochako said. "I knew you wouldn't want to miss the egg hatching.

She was right. Holding his son, Bakugou finally understood why Ochako hadn't wanted to let him go. Hell, if he had it his way, he would never let either of them go. He would protect them both no matter what.

[nightcoremoon]

everyone sucks dark souls' dick over how it's triumph over hardships and whatthefuckever

asylum demon is a little bitch.

taurus demon is a little bitch.

moonlight butterfly is a little bitch.

titanite demon is a little bitch.

capra demon is a little bitch.

havel the rock is a little bitch.

stray demon is a little bitch.

bell gargoyles are cheating little fuckers.

these fights aren't hard. they're not difficult. they're painfully easy. those first seven I beat without breaking a sweat, most of them on the first or second try. would've been the first for some but the game just loves artificial difficulty. what's that, you want strategy and tactics and reaction time? too bad, fuck you, have random ass bullshit, skewed numbers (enemies have fuckhuge hp and damage and you have wet paper), extra enemies on the side who fuckin teleport and ignore physics (oh right it's havok physics so fuck it who cares let's all teleport), oh yeah and your framerate is cut to ribbons because the game tries to render THE ENTIRE WORLD AT ONCE and when your framerate is low guess what YOURE LITERALLY NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PLAY because it kicks you to the main title. oh and the bonewheels? yeah I made jokes about them before but jesus christ who fucking OK'd these? was there any QA at all? oh you rested at that bonfire, fuck you you're here forever now because you move at half speed and they move at double speed and they can pivot midair a full 360 and they instantly break your poise and do a hundred damage each hit oh yeah and they can all hit you at the same fucking time. there's a literal zero frame window whatsoever to roll out of the way. all you can do is pray to the RNG gods that it'll let you play. and that's bullshit.

this game

is fucking

TERRIBLE

every single complaint I've seen about the prequel- WHICH I LOVE- and the sequel- WHICH I USED TO HATE BUT NOW LOVE BECAUSE ITS SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THE TRASH HEAP OF THE FIRST GAME- can be levied tenfold against this game.

fuck this berserk fanfiction trash that namco bandai threw money at for the art department and level design crew. they got all the budget, leaving nothing for the fuckin nonexistent ai.

the bosses all suck too. yeah ds2 had shitty bosses and reskins too, but IT HAD TWICE AS MANY AS DS1 DID. it's allowed a couple of trash bosses. and it has some absolute gems. the last giant is a perfect first boss that will decimate you if you don't know what you're doing but if you understand it you can plow through it easily, but can't be complacent with.

flexile sentry is a cool design and has two different moveset to content with, AND a level timer. skeleton lords? good boss. executioner chariot? good boss. mytha? eh, decent boss. smelter demon? fucking amazing boss. old iron king? cheating bastard but hey just don't fall in the lava idiot. git gud. fume knight? *chef's kiss* sir allonne? *chef's kiss* rat vanguard? incredible puzzle. the rotten? it's ok I guess but it's still better than half the ds1 bosses. najka? quelaag reskin but still ok. rat authority? sif and capra had a baby. prowling magus? ...ok that one is just embarrassing, I'll give you that. freja? great. pursuer? he'll crush you if you don't know what you're doing but all of his attacks are unique and avoidable and he looks fucking cool. ruin sentinels? tough as hell and worth the struggle in learning them. gargoyles? it's not a reskin, it's the ds1 gargoyle fight but not a completely horrible steaming pile of shit that's just a worse version of maneaterds in the prequel. lost sinner? good boss. mirror knight? good boss. demon of song? good boss. velstadt? good boss. vendrick? holy shit is he the best character in the series or what? and his boss fight... everyone says lord gwyn is the saddest because of sakuraba-sama's amazing talents at musical composition (so uh tales of symphonia is the best video game soundtrack ever made hands down don't @ me I'm sorry metroid prime but you have too much ambient noise) and PLIN PLIN PLON but I guarantee you that PLIN PLIN PLON would work well against vendrick too. oh yeah then you have the fake dragons (ok), throne duo (mediocre version of ornstein & smough), nashandra (meh), and aldia (meh), and also the bosses of shulva (meh) and the dogs of eleum loyce (meh) and the burnt ivory king. who is the best boss in the series hands don't don't @ me I'm sorry soul of cinder but you rely too much on nostalgia.

dark souls 2 is a fucking masterpiece with a few hiccups that are all holdovers from the first game. standing alone, this is probably the best action rpg ever made, and what everything else should build itself off of.

ds1 has a bunch of copypasted enemies with the word "boss" slapped on them, shitty mechanics, and even shittier stages.

quelaag is good. four kings is good. nito is good. seathe is good. sif is good. o&s are good. the dlc bosses are good. every single other boss is fucking stupid or fucking terrible and either can be cheesed or REQUIRE cheese.

what I mentioned before are jokes. ceaseless is just a pathetic version of dragon god who was vastly improved when he became old iron king. centipede demon is fucking garbage. bed of chaos is worse than garbage. priscilla is a meme. gwyndolin is a hallway. demon firesage is a reskin. gaping dragon is a waste of a cool design. iron golem is a joke who can be 1v1'd by tarkus. pinwheel? shut the fuck up about the prowling magus and congregation, pinwheel is not a real boss. lord of cinder? he's the reason why I don't parry, because parrying is cheese and it's fully dependent on having a $1000 graphics card and a brain that's wired to look at 60 frames per second. "but the human eye can only see 26" yeah exactly. man that's a short list of shitty bosses though. you're right? it's because I've listed all the dark souls bosses. and I haven't even listed all of the ds2 bosses.

I'm with hbomberguy here. ds2 gets more hate than it deserves. but I'll take it a step further.

dark souls 1 sucks.

it's not fun. it's not cool. it has a story ripped from a manga. its level design is a gimmick. the animations are shit. the hitboxes are shit. the physics are shit. the lighting and textures are still shit AFTER A REMASTER. the weapons and moveset variety is shit. the enemy design is shit. the locations all look exactly the same. the NPCs are boring and forgettable- I don't even know their fucking NAMES besides andre and gough (and gwyndolin but she's as real as her tits). it's built from salt and cyanide and broken glass rather than love for its roots. the music is the only part I can salvage without any buts. I can't even say that actually because THERE IS NONE EXCEPT DURING BOSSES WHEN YOU CANT LISTEN TO IT BECAUSE IT THINKS THAT DIFFICULTY IS SPEED AND SHEER NUMBERS.

it's a bad game.

you can like it. you can play it. you can love it.

but holy shit, shut the fuck about about it. I get it. I understand. I know. okay. got it. shut up.

I'll stop talking shit about your baby when you stop bitching and moaning and whining over how much you won't let yourself enjoy 2.

[aaronmascoll]

Chapter 122 - Colt

Colt sat there and listened as Alice told him about Erin. "Dad said when the two of us were born, Erin and I were both given to two different families. Her family was rich, and mine was poor. The rules are, if a God wants to have their child stand as their champion, they can't raise them themselves. When I first me dad he said, somehow, Erin was born completely human, unlike me. While she lived the good life, the shits I was given to tried to sell me for a few pieces of gold, but since I kept biting people, no one wanted me. When they got tired of me, they left me at a orphanage. I lived there till the place got shut down. An Elder got all pissy because the guy who owned the place wouldn't sell us to her. So, she killed him, and we all ran."

"Where'd you all go?" Colt asked.

"We went to live in a lagoon a mile away from the Bagwell City Port. Taught ourselves to catch fish, built huts, life was fuckin' good. After a few months a lot drift wood started washing up on our beach, and along with it, Erin. It was like staring into a mirror. She was unconscious but I felt like I already knew her. After some of the other kids helped me move her into my hut, Tamriel showed up. Said she was our older sister and that she was going to take care of us."

"Tamriel took care of you?" Colt asked.

"Yeah, she basically raised us. Taught us to read and write, steal and pickpocket, you know, everything a growing thief needs to know. Even taught me how to feed on people without killing them. We lived in this little shit hole. A real hole in the wall. You'd miss it if you didn't know where to look."

"You mean that safe house we used before that bank job?!" Colt asked, shocked.

Alice nodded. "Why did you say you didn't like her?"

"I'm getting there, shit!"

Alice took a long breath and went on. "Ah, fuck it! You're right. The truth is, I love her more than anything. It's just seeing her reminds me of when she left. You see, Dad told Erin the Seat of Power in the realm of Champions belonged to her. We went searching for, but never managed to find it. Mom changed Erin into a vampire on her twentieth birthday, but she wasn't happy. A few days after her birthday, a water dragon told Erin he had found the seat somewhere in a deserted Fishman city."

"Erin spoke dragon?"

"Fluent in Merlin's tongue and Dragon. Self taught. She was fuckin' smart. She used a spell that gave us temporary gills so we could breathe under water. I told her we're immortal vampires and don't technically need to breathe, but she just had to have it her way. So the Fishman city? Not deserted. The Seat of Power? A magical throne that controls their city. Erin was obsessed with making sure it wasn't the actual thing, but the people there wouldn't let her sit on the throne."

Alice's eyes started to tear up but she didn't cry. "The people had two alpha water dragons protecting the throne. I told Erin no seat is worth dying over, but she didn't listen. She faught and killed both dragons but lost her arm in the fight. She wouldn't let us heal her till she sat in that stupid throne. We helped her into the throne, and she died. She had this smile on the face as if she had finally found it, but we never found out. You see, when we were with Tamriel, she treated us like we were the center of her universe. It was...intoxicating. But in a good way. And after Erin died, Tamriel vanished. Left me, alone, manic, feeding constantly, and living by myself in that shity hole in the wall. I probably should, but I don't hate her, I just don't know what to say."

"So you're looking for the seat, right?"

Alice looked at Colt as if she were doing it for the first time. "Yes, now get out!" She said, kicking him in the leg.

"Erin sounds a lot my ex, Leila. She was very stubborn and didn't listen unless ten people were telling her the same thing."

"Get out," Alice said, sadly.

Colt got out of the limo and walked through one of the backdoors to the house. He passed through the kitchen where elves were cooking and baking using magic fueled stoves. Colt walked passed them and out a side door that led to the dining hall. There were thieves drinking, and others eating. Someone suddenly hugged Colt, and when he looked down he found Serah. After she hugged him, she crawled into his shadow. "Okay then," Colt said, speaking to himself.

Colt walked to the bar, where he found Riot and Angel staring at him. Riot was sitting on the bar, was rubbing her legs together seductively, and was sporting the same smile as Angel. This was the smile that Angel gave Colt whenever she was going to enjoy watching him squirm. "What's going on?" Colt asked, cautiously.

Riot hopped off the bar and threw her arms around Colt's neck. "Thank you," she said, kissing Colt hard on the mouth. "I gotta talk to Al, where is she?"

"Still in the limo, out back"

Riot let go of Colt and sprinted through the kitchen door. Colt leaned against the bar. "What's going on?" He asked, seriously.

Angel put a mug of cherry flavored poison down in front of him. "You're gonna want to finish that before she gets back," she said

Colt picked up the mug and Alice took it from him. "You owe me for this," She said, taking a large mouthful of poison.

"She said yes!" Riot yelled, happily.

"Someone tell me what the hell is going on!" Colt said, angrily.

Riot turned Colt around and shoved him against the bar. "This is what's going to happen," Riot said, staring at Colt intensely. "You're gonna put a baby in me, and in nine months I'm gonna you and my friend the cutest bundle of joy you've ever seen."

Colt shoved Riot out of his way and looked at Angel. "What happened to having an all natural birth? Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It doesn't matter how it happens," Angel said, taking Colt's hand. "I'm gonna love this baby regardless of how it was born."

As Colt went to kiss Angel, she scrunched her face in pain. "Ow," She said, mildly while touching her stomach.

Angel suddenly fell over and Colt hopped over the bar in a panic. Standing over Angel, Colt watched as her tail started to peel and die, while two human legs started to show. The skin on her legs was bright pink, and hypersensitive. "I'm not due for a few more weeks," Angel said, shocked.

"I think your body is still getting used to being in the realm again," Colt said, kneeling next to her.

"New plan!" Angel said, excitedly. "You'll do us both. The chances of one of us getting pregnant will be higher."

Colt looked at Alice, who was watching from the other side of the bar. "You owe me, big time!" She said.

[staytiny-angel]

The Flameweaver's Dragon

A Rollintyre Drabble that takes place in @scream-qween's WWE/Superhero AU Pick a Different Way

Hurt/Comfort, FLUFF Supportive Boyfriends for the Win

Authors Note: This is way softer then I could see any incarnation of Rollintyre being but after Monday this is what I needed.

"What's wrong Neach-smàlaidh (firecracker)?" Drew said as he walked into the room and saw his lover staring into space while aimlessly tossing a fireball back and forth.

"I hate not being able to create fire for myself." Seth said quietly. "They used to make fun of me for not being strong enough to. Dean can create ice, Roman can create lighting, but need my lighter." he says kicking his ever present gold Zippo across the room. "I'm always the weak link because if I lose it I might as well be fuckin' human"

"That's what makes us the perfect pair in every single way" Drew said as he wrapped his arms around the smaller man from behind.

"I can create fire in my other form but be damned if I can control it.….you make my fire better, stronger" he continues before letting go and shifting into what Seth affectionately called his baby Dragon form and carefully climbing up Seth's back to perch on top of his head.

"You are the other half of my soul my little firecracker, even being the huge brat that you are" the Scot continues telepathically as he blew a tiny stream of flame toward Seth's hands, watching Seth easily use it to make the marble sized fireball the size of a baseball.

"I love watching your hands when you use your powers because your hands are so graceful Breabadair an lasair (flameweaver) and may I remind you that you are a formidable opponent even without your them. I seem to remember someone managing to get your lighter away from you and you holding your own until Ruby and I were able to get to you."

"So don't you DARE call yourself a weak link. It takes so much more to control the flames then create them." he says tugging a lock of dark hair between his tiny claws.

"I don't know what I would have done if I hasn't met you" Seth whispers

Drew shifted back to his human form and easily took Seth in his arms. "Lucky for us we never have to find out." Drew says before kissing him softly

[catherinexlinton]

I’ve been walking around listening to yt rants of 8.03 and trying to heal my broken hopes, and i can say it right now : it was some ol bullshit. The world I invested my time and heart in, my skills rping those f characters around here on tumblr, the show I was comming back to when all of my life was going downhill, it was all bullshit. 

And if you’re trying to find some meaning in this bullshit, then I am sorry, but I judge you, I do, feel free to unfollow : Im not sure if Ill be around tumblr anyways.

What was Jon for ? Why bring him back? He did nothing. He wasn’t the prince who was promised. His parenthood reveal goes to shit. There is no reason for him being targaryen other than for him to sit on the iron throne ( no “his is the song of ice & fire, azor ahai will come from targaryens” prohpecy stuff ) and at this point : who even gives a fuck about this chair anyways ? 

White walkers were the ultimate darkness and evil. To show the readers/watchers that politics, conflicts, revange, betrayal, religions our minor poblems are NOT IMPORTANT compared to the greater enemy to be defeated : be it climate change, or death itself, or insert any theory here. 

How am I suppose to care about politics and thrones rn ? After the greatest enemy has been defeated? 

It’s as if Voldemord was killed in the middle of the series, and now Draco Malfoy is the big bad to be defeated. 

As if Sauron was defeated in the middle of Two Towers and now Aragorn’s claim to gondor is all we have to care about. I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT.

What was Bran for? His almost decade adventure beyond the wall, his ability to CHANGE MADAFUCKIN TIME, his knowledge of everything? To throw some bullshit one liners “chaos is the ledder” or “the things we do for love”? What was he here for? To throw refrencess to better seasons? 

Some of the scenes which were VISIBLE, like the dragons flying on clear sky above clouds ( FUCKING MATRIX RIP OFF, OKAY ? ) or lighting the trenches were okay, but what looks good doesn’t make something GOOD, okay ? A person who’s pretty & dum is still dumb? A nicely taken photo of a shit with filters on is still PHOTO OF A SHIT ???!!???  

I’m not an expert on the fucking art of war so I’ll leave it out, but one thing : the fuckin dorthraki rode into the open field? WHAT FOR? Oh i know what for, to get that cool shot of their swords dissapearing into darkness, it was PRETTY but it was DUMB!

The fuck jamie lannister, a guy who has one had, managed to fight all night ??? He should be dead. They all should be dead. Alle the people in the crypts should be dead, with sansa, varys, tyrion, gilli&her stupid non-aging baby, all DEAD. They are all just shells of who they were, so it’s a mercy killing at this point.

Fucking Sansa don’t even get me started.... What’s with “once im queen i will make them love me” ? She walks into crypts, doesnt even care about the scared people and children, doesn’t bring them comfort, anything. At least Cersei have some wine for her women during Blackwater battle.

And Arya.... how much I hate her character... after Arya sailed to Bravos she’s as good as dead to me, really. I can’t stand how non-george-martin-overpowered-tomboy she’s become and I don’t get anyone who sees her as “badass”. The line Mel gave her about shutting “brown,blue,green” eyes wasn’t prophecy about killing Night King, it was a probhecy about her becoming a MURDER ASSASIN, bc that’s what her story is about : revange, and becoming a dark shell of a human because the need for revange overcame her = it’s better to let things go sometimes. 

They gave her the night king kill bc FEMINISM, YAY, KWEEN SLAY, and if THAT’S how women are empowered right now - by female characters in plot armour killing logic and stripping other characters (Jon/Bran/Dany?) of their purpose in the story - then I am ASHAMED to be a woman.

They should have died... brienne, jamie, podric, tormund, grey worm, missandei, sansa, tyrion, varys, sam, gilly, little sam, + those who were actually killed this episode. At least their deaths would be meaningfull - heroes fighting for humanity against the death, the foe bigger than any of us - I bet now they will get killed for mad!kween d@ny on the battlefield, fighting for a chair.

Or even worse : if they all gonna get happy ending... j0nerys with their incest babies, grey warm&missandei holding hands on the beach somewhere, jamie pushing bran’s wheelchair, while brienne brushes their daughter’s hair and sings jenny’s song.... that will be the ultimate bitchslap for all of us.

I would say to you : fuck the d&d, fuck hbbo, go read books, wait for the REAL ending. But tbh... I don’t even know if we will ever get Winds of Winter. Forget about Dream of Spring! GrrM is 70&doesn’t look healthy enough to live next three decades (don’t want to fatshame or anything, cersei would love me cuz I look like an elephant myself) and mind you.... he hasn’t wrote a good book in like 19 last years? The two last books in asoiaf series weren’t that amazing, Dance of Dragons was HORRIBLE in my opinion actually, heard various reviews about his other work. 

Maybe this world, this saga really IS too big for one man... maybe we will never get the ending we were promised, just like the prince that was promised was actually a bravos ninja.... maybe we shouldn’t hate on d&d alone bc george martin is guilty of the same thing they are : pride. He was sure he will be better than Tolkien, with his rian-johnsony’s subverting expectations that he cought himself in a web of plots he can’t solve.... ? 

Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe next episode we will see Bran waking up from the coma and the whole last 8 seasons will be just a dream. Hate me all you want, I dare you, but you can’t change the truth :  All those hours of rping, video making, art making, listening to asoiaf/got theories an my bus to school, then university, or as I was falling asleep, crying over beloved characters ......

it was all

bullshit.

[like-twilight]

I’m jus’ gon do this cause why not I stole it from Here.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

According to my last.fm in the last seven days: 1: ATEEZ: Wave 2: ATEEZ: Illusion 3: ATEEZ: Win 4: TxT: Run Away 5: ATEEZ: Precious 6: ATEEZ: Say My Name

Guys. I like Ateez.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My sister.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

Well I ain’t standin’ up so here’s line 17 from page 23 of Vale which is on my computer.

““Well then, Your Highness,” I say and crouch down, trying to get a look of her face”

4: What do you think about most?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad things.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

From a real person that’s not an automated message from a bank or a website it’s from my co-worker from October 26th that says “Ok I’ll do it, print it then I’ll replace it”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Well. PJ’s are clothes so.

7: What's your strangest talent?

I don’t think I have any.

8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence)

Girls not allowed. Boys also not allowed. Leave me alone. (My nb friends can come tho.)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

If I did then the creator didn’t tell me :”D

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I... can’t recall.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Frogs.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Maybe as a baby?

13: What's your religion?

I don’t belieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

I’m not outside. But I’d probably be going to work or the store or the post office.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ateez!

17: What was the last lie you told?

“I’m okay!” #deep

18: Do you believe in karma?

god no!

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s a quote from Ateez’s Twilight.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I’m very depressed. Strength is probably that I’m still alive? Idk

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Idk. Find a lot of famous people attractive I-? I Don’t have just like The Celebrity Crush. Jeong Yunho’s cute tho.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

No.

23: How do you vent your anger?

I throw a temper tantrum.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Just a mason jar of my tears. Also every Ateez album released so far.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither! Fucking email me, bro.

26: Are you happy with the person you've become?

God no :D

27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Ambulance sirens hate. Fuckin... panflute I love.

28: What's your biggest "what if"?

What if I was a... giraffe.? Or a tardigrade. 

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe in things we can’t perceive scientifically or whatever. Not ghosts per se, like souls of dead people or whatever. Also yes to aliens.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Nothin I’m jus sittin on my bed. If I move my arms up and down a bit then my blanket and a bottle of water.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothin. Is just my room.

32: What's the worst place you have ever been to?

Uuuh a cemetery?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

In America? Idk which is less racist in general?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

What’s an “opposite” gender? I know you mean male but I refuse to give into the cISSEXIST SCUm. 

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

I have no idea what that means.

36: Define Art.

the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes. But I’ve never been the lucky one unfortunately.

38: What's the weather like right now?

Uuuh I have to google it. Clear. 8°

39: What time is it?

21:30

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No. But I probably would.

41: What was the last book you read?

Pfssssshhhh, one that wasn’t written by me? Fucks me, dude. Fault In Our Stars? The Death Cure? I can’t remember, it’s been years.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yeah!

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Tia.

44: What was the last film you saw?

Uuuuuuuuhhh... UUUUHHHHHHHHH How to Train Your Dragon 3, it was nice.

45: What's the worst injury you've ever had?

Had a bleeding spine! Kinda miss it tbh.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I probably haven’t tried, I’ve just tried to get them to land on me.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Uuuh I’m into Ateez these days.

48: What's your sexual orientation?

I’m byesexual.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Yes.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Again, I do believe things could exist we can’t scientifically explain but idk. Not in the Harry Potter magic way.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

No, cause I believe everything is my fault.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Aries.

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save money TO spend. I think I found a healthy balance.

54: What's the last thing you purchased?

A fukin... bike. That’s like in your room. Not by accident but because it’s meant to be there.

55: Love or lust?

Like.. in what context? Love? Idk.

56: In a relationship?

Love.

57: How many relationships have you had?

None relationships.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can’t.

59: Where were you yesterday?

Like on average? Or 24 hours ago exactly. Cause I was at work for eight hours and then I was just on my bed.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yeah, my phone case.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Ye.

62: What's your favourite animal?

Cat? Idk.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

:DDDD If I had any then people would like me.

64: Where is your best friend?

???? 

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

I... I dunno? The ones I follow?

66: What is your heritage?

I don’t know what that means. Like what I’m gonna be remembered by? I whined a lot!

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Cried.

68: What do you think is Satan's last name?

Choi.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Why would I lie about masturbation. Yeah I did.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Fuck no.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, fuck off.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I am telling everyone. b) Be paralysed by fear and waste all of it. c) Yes, very much.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

I feel like that’s stupid. 

74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Illusion by Ateez these days. 

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

4153

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

I wouldn’t know, buddy.

77: How can I win your heart?

Just be nice to me and I’ll probably be emotionally attached to you for life, sorry.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I don’t think insanity is the cause for any creativity. If an insane person is creative then they would be creative with a sound mind too.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Got into kpop, that was nice.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

42

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Balled 2 hard lol”

82: What is your favourite word?

There are too many words.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Kokoro.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I don’t think there is one.

85: What's the last song you listened to?

Treasure by Ateez.

86: Basic question; what's your favourite colour/colours?

Pink and yellow.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of.. Ateez... sorry.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump.

89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Uh, I think I’m p truthful, yeah. Ask me anything.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Scream. Maybe scramble on the floor and push past them if I can.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Immortality!

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Oh geez. I was on a carousel in Italy once, that was awesome.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The one that gave me depression idk which one it was but can it go away?

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Ehh, I don’t want that. Like... I don’t know those people, they could be Awful in bed or just in general too. Like I need an emotional bond first and they don’t even know me and I only know the persona they show to the public. Plus it could potentially ruin the music for me later on, it’d be weird, no thank you.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

UUUUUHHHHH I DUNNO Lyon cause Grenoble doesn’t have an airport. Well, actually my sister isn’t in Grenoble right now. Hm well if I grab my card before I go then I can just find a hotel there until she comes home.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

I don’t think so? 

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I had to throw up in a car and then asked the driver to stop the car so I can throw up outside the car.

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. Seven times. SEVEN TIMES? Yeah, holy shit.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Someone help me, I am so so so incredibly in need of help, please. Please. Thank you.