#because duh that's what depression does

[gazingatmydoom]

opening a fromsoft game and immediately seeing the words "at the end of the previous session. exit game (system menu) may not have been selected.

failure to end session with exit game may result in loss of progress" and i'm like ahhh so i rage quit. it's like a warning sign popping up like hey buddy whatever u were doing last time? it fucking sucked and u got mad be prepared

[lawbreaker13]

Alright, I'm about to have a Trolls moment. Please ignore me if you will.

So I'm starting to have a meltdown over Branch's brothers' understanding of who he is as a person.

Like, they were fully absent during his entire childhood and young adulthood, of course. And we all keep making jokes about how they didn't tease him enough about his relationship because, duh, that's what brothers do. But what I have yet to see discussed is his confidence as an individual, how he interacts with the audience as a band member, and how his brothers are simply not interacting with a person they've ever met before.

Like, there's the whole "boy band members are so suave so as to properly appeal to their audience" thing, and Branch, post-World Tour, has gained a lot of confidence. Yes, most of his audience interaction is aimed at the band's biggest fan, his own girlfriend, but he does so very smoothly. The level of confidence that Branch has gained since the first movie is immense and it's actually so heartwarming to watch the two movies back-to-back to see, but beyond that, his interactions with Poppy, as her boyfriend and also as a band member, are very confident, flirtatious, and charming. He's playing up the persona when he's on stage of course, but they also flirt a lot on their own as seen in this movie. And while yes, his brothers being his brothers would probably off-screen tease him about flirting with his girlfriend, they also have no idea how he is as a band member. Because the last time they were in a band together, Branch was IN DIAPERS. Spruce was the Heartthrob, the flirt, the tease, and Branch was a BABY. But now Bruce is married, he's checked out of that life. And even if it's all directed at Poppy because Branch is a very loyal boy (clearly), he still has never exhibited those specific behaviors in front of his brothers. It's funny and easy to make fun of when it's with his girlfriend, but when he does it as a band member? Then it's a persona. And he's absolutely killing the game.

The boys have never met this suave, confident adult. They've never seen Band Member Branch with his own personality, with character traits, with the ability to make decisions for himself in any form. So his new band persona is, apparently, to some extent, the flirt. And his brothers must be reeling from that, because WHO is this guy??

I don't have a point. My point is just the idea that once upon a time, when Branch was in the band originally, he was just Some Kid™. And now he's not just some kid, he is A Boy Band Member™. And kind of the new leader, to boot. Beyond that, to Poppy, he was just Some Depressed Guy™ for so long. And once again, look at him now. The character development combined with character perception is just so absolutely fascinating to me and the lack of time to elaborate on it is very much the reason why fanfiction exists.

I don't know, man. Big Trolls fan over here. I love Branch so much.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Shigaraki's Psychological Conditions Headcanons - (a long ass post)

So, I'll preface this by saying I am NOT a psychiatrist and am not qualified to diagnose shit. I do however have a history of personal mental health disorders and am going to school for mental health work. This is mostly just for theory sake. My word is not absolute

Let's begin

warnings: mental illness as title suggests, not proofread and probably has typos

Antisocial Personality Disorder / Conduct Disorder

This one sort of goes without saying cuz duh he's a villain or whatever. I want to specify that in terms of Antisocial Personality, he likely is a sociopath, NOT a psychopath

I hear people call him a psychopath all the time and it's infuriating because people throw around labels without understanding what they mean. Psychopaths are more cunning and charming, and very manipulative. This isn't to say that Tomura is none of those things. Psychopath, however, applies to people like All For One. Almost diplomatic and very persuasive.

Tomura is a sociopath because he's known for recklessness and abrasive behavior. Psychopaths often pretend to have feelings, but for sociopaths aggression is a key emotion that's visibly displayed. They are also able to feel remorse in some cases, and I run this back to Shigaraki because he spent years in what was implied to be repressed guilt regarding the death of his family. Tomura admits it himself in his flashbacks, but ultimately decides to let go of that guilt (that he still fucking feels and is in DENIAL but that's another post). Hence, his forgiving nature toward his mother and sister when he's dreaming during surgery.

Even after Tomura let that burden go, he has no desire to be cool and collected, he just fucks around and finds out. Overall, though, he disregards people's lives and doesn't have remorse for what he's done because he throws his trauma and desires over it as a bandaid. He does show care and consideration to people in the League, though.

The conduct disorder part of it is self-explanatory. He's a violent criminal, lol.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Duh.

Trauma is pretty much all Tomura has known. I won't reiterate his backstory, but being physically abused and rejected as a child, the murder of his family, being blatantly ignored by people on the streets, and AFO's upbringing? That's a lot

His PTSD is so dehibilitating that it took hold of his body language and behavior. Before the end of s5, Tomura was rigid and hunched over. In the MHA video games, he's also seen as very restless and moving his body around (until s4 era in One's Justice 2). I'll attach a video below.

He's also just very irritable and easily set off at the reminders of his trauma and rejection. "I HATE YOU" is a key example, as up to that point Tomura had been improving his rash behavior, but he's very unsettled by his past and continues to be now.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

His case of OCD is connected to his trauma and emotions. You'll find that a lot of his conditions feed into one another. For him, he has a variant of dermatillomania (often known as the skin picking disorder). For him, that is in the form of scratching rather than picking. But he does it compulsively and without thought, and he does it in attempts to self soothe. I believe he does it occasionally as a self injurious behavior, resulting in itching himself rather than lashing out. He even just does it when he's only moderately anxious or irritated.

Depression

While we don't see Shigaraki slumped in bed or feeling sad in the ways we see in many cases of depression, his "I hate everything" mentality puts him here. Actually, it's safe to say he experiences anhedonia, which is the lack of enjoyment in anything. He seems to somewhat enjoy video games, but his bio states "nothing" as his likes. I'm inclined to believe he feels no personal joy or happiness, and tries to attain that through murderous rage. Never works tho, does it Tomura?

Bipolar Disorder and Unspecified Psychotic Disorder

This one might stir some debates, but I do genuinely think he has a mood disorder. I don't want to feed into stigma that bipolar and psychotic people are "evil," because I myself have these conditions, so maybe I'm projecting lmao. He's definitely not medicated, and so I'd say his case is Bipolar Type 1. This type is characterized by intense manic symptoms, though depressive symptoms can be severe, too.

Tomura has manic tendencies, and he's impacted by mania in that he seems to get spontaneous motivation, but he also will stay stagnant for some time. I saw this as the case when Spinner literally went at Shiggy for putting the League in a complacent stage, but he's done this before, such as when he was in a slump about Stain. When his motivation surges, though, he goes above and beyond and doesn't put extensive thought into it. He just lunges into his desires in pursuit of satisfaction. He also has delusions of grandoisity to some degree and has a moment where he treats himself as invincible. He fought Gigantomachia for almost two months, and kept fucking going at him. Surely, he could've asked the doctor to call him off, but Tomura wanted that power so bad. Tomura also went into his surgery without asking many questions about it. He makes very impulsive decisions, even after people insist that he "matured." He also gets flicked into motivation like a snap of a finger, and proceeds to be lead mostly by endorphins and gratification.

When Tomura experiences what he perceives as a "positive" emotion, it overtakes him. He becomes pretty much engrossed in his bodily sensations. Through maniacal laughter and taunting language that's charged in a hate induced fuel. When Shigaraki has "voila" moments, he has a surge in neuroactivity and gets into aggressive mood stages, but I guess that could apply to most of the villains. I saw this when Deku told him the difference between him and Stain, and Tomura had a surge in manic-like bliss and drive.

I'm not sure if Tomura hearing the voices of his family before his epiphany was just intrusive thoughts, but I thought they may have been auditory hallucinations. Tomura admits to hearing things that aren't there and seeing visual hallucinations, too. Evidenced by:

I hate how the dub translated this into "when you're this tired" as a broad statement. The manga gives this more personal association to Shigaraki, and he says that it happens when he's sleepy, and doesn't specify if it's only when he's extremely sleep deprived or just tired. Also, him staying up for days on end and smiling his ass off reeks of mania. He has delusional sprinkles in his thinking process, but they're not of bizarre nature, and are usually tied to his trauma. At this point in the manga he's very psychotic, though. That has a lot to do with him being fueled with adrenaline and also just breaking out of AFO's control.

I think he is either bipolar type 1 with psychotic features or has a mild case of schizoaffective disorder. Probably the first one, but I'm not sure.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder)

This one is more of a gut feeling for me, but I see Tomura as being easily distracted and aloof to his surroundings at times. He's fidgety and does shit on whim.

Also, look at his room.

I'm not saying that everyone with ADHD has a messy room, but from what I can see, he goes from one task, drops it entirely without picking up, and goes to the next. Some could argue that Tomura simply doesn't care, and that's true, but he's at least got some decency to put the shit in trash bags. Trash bags that he HASN'T EVEN TAKEN OUT. I think he gets too caught up in the shit he's focused on that it slips his mind to do simple things like that.

He has spontaneous interests from what I can tell from the many books and toys he has that seem to have gone untouched for some time. He also hyperfixates, and I don't mean interest wise. I mean that when he's dwelling on something, it doesn't leave his mind for DAYS, until he gets some gratification. All Might in s1 and Stain s2 for example.

-

In conclusion, this boy has a grocery list of conditions, but I love Tomura. I love my beautiful prince with a disorder, and he is so dear to me.

I'm open to discussions about this, but please keep them respectful.

[enbyfrogwrites]

oh lil headcannons cuz yuh

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i think this is gonna be both nsfw and sfw- so chef kiss-

headcannons about mr gojo satoru (and him being your good pet)

tags: nsfw, pegging, oral both receiving, name calling (satoru getting called slut,,etc etc), sub!gojo, needy!gojo, reader is nb coded as per usual (afab cuz i am duh), reader is also FAT not chubby or chunky- we talkin 2 sum to do sum. reader is also mixed coded

there's some sfw but this is gonna be mostly nsfw i guess, anyways don't like? don't read. minors and ageless blogs dni PLEASE

word count: ~1.5k (yikes this is just rambling tho)

sfw:

-oh man gojo's whipped,, oh you mention something you was thinking about?? oh he's getting it for you even though you didn't ask him to

-he purposely gets you clothes that shows your tummy and stretch marks, more cuz he likes looking at them at any point when you two are in public than anything else

-gets upset when you have random bouts of depression and low esteem about your body. (you initially thought that he was shallow and didn't want to be seen with you out in public because of your apron belly and back rolls...he quickly shut that down)

-purposely holds you in front of his big ass mirror that he has in his room...for reasons...ahem,, he holds firmly as he murmurs softly in your ear about how much he loves you and what he loves to look at on you

-whenever he eats sweets, he always gets extra of what you've told him that you liked, always (he's not going to tell you, but you've found his stash of snacks that he has specifically for you)

-unconsciously he does in fact grab at your apron belly. not even like to feel it or anything,, it's like a comfort thing???? like you two watching tv and cuddling? grabs. you're washing dishes and he comes from behind you? your stomach is the first thing he holds when he wraps his arms around you

-your belly and thighs are gojo's fave place to lay on. hands down. your warmth radiates and he's addicted...

-also when people call him a chubby chaser, he immediately shuts it down. not that he's ashamed of you or anything, just the fact that he thinks it's stupid as hell to have a label. he fell in love with you for You, not your looks or shape, Duh.

-not to be an asshole, but when gojo first saw how physically strong you were when you defeated a curse with not a single scratch on you? he deadass was shocked lowkey; not in a way of fat shaming or anything just the fact that you're a shit ton stronger than he thought tbh

-if it happens that you're a teacher in the school, he would specifically visit your classroom to just be a bother. sitting in the back of the class and asking dumb questions so you can huff and pout your cheeks on your beautiful round cheeks at him.

-his favorite thing to do is make you smile. his wallpaper on his phone is when you two were on a date and he took a picture of you when you weren't paying attention.

-speaking of pictures, he gets so upset when you don't like to take pics of yourself. on multiple occasions when you said anything mentioning your double chin, your rolls, the way your stomach looks in your clothes, etc etc; gojo get's so frustrated with you. like how can you not see how perfect you look to him

-for the first time you spent the night at his place for whatever reason, you REFUSED to have any part of your skin showing, you wore pants, socks, a big ass tshirt. gojo literally was so heartbroken that when you two got up in the morning he had a discussion about how much he loves you.

uhhhhhhhhhhh i guess n//sfw neooooow:

-the first time you and gojo got intimate? you initially actually refused to be touched, all you did was constantly give him handjobs and blowjobs. tbh it was frustrating the hell out of the both of you, but you "didn't want to scare him off"

-when you finally actually slept with the poor man, you were a ball of nerves. you refused to take off your shirt at first, and only let him hit it from the back for a while.

-that shit deadass broke gojo's heart, almost to tears tbh. when you started to cry the first time you stood completely naked in front of him. it took time to calm you down, but gojo was so appalled to find out that you thought so low about yourself.

-after the first time he saw you naked, gojo purposely began Worshipping you, making sure that you Knew that he loved literally every single inch of your body

-when you finally built up the courage to ride him? GYAT DAYUM. to say gojo was in heaven? was an understatement. when he saw you, and your absolutely perfect body bouncing on his cock? to say he came so fast that he almost had a trolley horse??? he didn't wait to recover from his orgasm before flipping you on your back and fucking folded you in half and plowed you

-gojo's favorite thing he ever got for his birthday was you in lingerie. so serious. you never dressed up in anything "scandalous". you told him you felt too self-conscious and embarrassed. which gojo didn't want to push the issue since he at least got you to feel comfortable to be naked around him. (1/4)

-continuing his birthday. it was late at night when you two came from celebrating his birthday. you told him to sit on his bed while you wanted to go to his bathroom to "freshen up". He already had you dress in his favorite clothes so he was half hard the whole evening to be frank. but when you came out of his bathroom, cladded in delicate phthalo green lace, with matching garters and thigh highs; gojo almost passed out how fast his cock hardened. (2/4)

-how can you look so ethereal?? you felt so embarrassed because you were just standing there, and he was just...Staring at you. you began to shy away from gojo before he finally opened his mouth. when on closer inspection, you saw he had to wipe his face since he was drooling. (3/4)

-"no no no no please- no don't go-" the words fumble out of gojo's mouth, cracking at the end. his bright eyes round as saucers as he made his way to where you were by the bathroom door. he fell to his knees as he gazed on your body- your stretch marks and rolls on clear display. to say in the least when he begged where you got your set from- he BOUGHT THE WHOLE STORE (4/4 fin bday thing)

-his favorite thing he loves to eat is sweets-that's what he tells everyone. cake, cookies, mochi, fruit, you,, the last one he doesn't tell anyone else. but to him that's his favorite thing to eat, Ever. oh you had a bad day at work? he eats you out for forever. He had a bad day at work? he eats you out for forever. tbh when he's bored he kinda navigates himself towards your hole. it's so addicting to him. makes him hard just thinking of what you taste like- even when he's in the middle of a mission.

-oop he didn't tell Anyone. but You found out his secret. everyone depends on gojo; his friends, family, clan, students...everyone has to count on him. he's the strongest of course. not to you though. never to you... when you and him were bickering on what position to be in, your voice cut through him. you Demanded him to lay down and let you take control. (1/6 sub gojo)

-the Whimper that left that poor man's throat? was so Delectable. You felt your eyes blink owlishly at gojo before you immediately climb on top of him. your hands quickly coming up to his chest before going further up to the meaty parts of his shoulders. you swiftly put a lot of your weight on your hands, pinning gojo to the bed. (2/6)

-"ohhhh if i knew you were such a Slut, i've would've done this ages ago" the only noise that came out of your boyfriend's mouth a choked whine as you watched his already flushed face, turn even redder. his head involuntarily nodding at your words. (3/6)

-"y-yeah im your slut" was the only sentence gojo can muster before his pretty eyes screwed tight in embarrassment. OH? oh- now this is new. you didn't think he was soo...nasty. so needy and you can watch how your boyfriend unconsciously leaned into your touch like a man starved. (4/6)

-your right hand came up and grabbed gojo's face, squishing his cheeks as your face came closer to his. your boyfriend's eyes shot open at your harsh grip, and you can see his eyebrows furrow so cutely together. you also happen to notice that his cock bounced and twitched almost violently when you FORCED gojo to look you in your eyes (5/6)

-"prove it then. prove that you're my slut. i want you to cum as many times as i want you to, but you have to tell me Every time" well, everyone knew he was loud anyways but you were so glad that your boyfriend lived in his own home- his screams most definitely would've caused a noise complaint (6/6 sub gojo)

***so anyways i think i wrote enough bc i feel like this wasn't even that good. shrugs. anyways pls send me any good ideas to write about...i think im just a sub!jjk blog atp idk

[chimivx]

That one fucked you over last year, this one is fucking you over this year, you had no idea she was involved with him, someone over here has been lying to you, you didn't mean to end up in that ones bed, he told you he loved you... Does anyone even trust anyone anymore?

👫 -> college!teez x fem!reader/oc {frat/sorority} #️⃣ -> 16k exact. (part SEVEN of ten) good luck. ‼️ -> 18+, sexual content, drugs/alcohol, college life, all the drama, heavy angst, infidelity adjacent moments, mean boys, mean girls, mentions of anxiety/depression… IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

{ there are names & faces in here that come from NMWID <3 }

september 23rd ~ monday ~ 11:20 a.m.

“I’ll take a shot of vodka, or something else, whatever you’ve got.”

Theo smiled, then shook his head, leaning over the counter toward you.

“You can get that later down the street,” he said. “Want me to surprise you if you aren’t gonna make a decision?”

Clasping your hand over your hoodie you shrugged. “Please.”

Getting to work, he sent the occasional glance over his shoulder. “You’re in a weird mood, what happened?” He wrapped his hand around a large sized cup and took it to the espresso machine. “What’s happened since Friday, I should say.”

A lot, you wanted to say. You’ve realized you’ve fallen in love with a boy who was your best friend, said boy has snuck onto your roof and confessed his love for you, you’re both set to ‘break up’ with people you aren’t even together with, and all the meanwhile the boys girl has started a lie that has now spread throughout the ITZ house.

Nothing has been said to Yunho or Tori as of yet, you were meeting Tori for lunch after your noon classes so you would tell her there. The video had to still be up on Chan's profile, those things lasted for twenty four hours. She was a liar, Mina was. Though you can’t piece together at the moment why she would lie about something like this. Chan is her brother, and he’s apparently been through many struggles in his lifetime.

Your father has been through many struggles in his lifetime, never once do you ever use his shit as an excuse for your behavior, nor would you ever use his shit as a way to warp people’s minds, their feelings. The beings in both houses knew little of your dad, aside from Yunho, Tori and unfortunately Wooyoung. You’re sure Mingi knew a little something, he’s dating Tori, but you don’t care what he knew. If he’s trustworthy enough to date Tori, he’s trustworthy to know who and what your father is.

Mina’s pretty, she’s smart, she comes from a good family. Why would she lie?

Pulling out your phone you open a thread of messages and type away.

[you]: we have to talk about something questionable

It took him three seconds to respond.

[youknow everythin]: This is how you answer my good morning text? What did you just wake up?

[you]: i’m at blend i have a class in thirty

[you]: i’m sorry i didn’t answer, i read it before i got in the shower

[youknow everythin]: Take me in the shower with you, duh

[you]: you are such a boy

[you]: any mina updates

[youknow everythin]: She’s hurting. I told you last night what she was saying, her brother and all that. I got the full run down. She was keeping a lot from me this summer.

You tried real hard to not let those words tug at your heart.

[youknow everythin]: You know what it made me think of? That psych thing or whatever it is, the invisible child thing? Where one childs needs are so great that the other kid kind of goes unnoticed? But… Not totally unnoticed, they’re just more self sufficient? I feel like that’s Mina. She just needs someone to see her.

That made your stomach feel weird.

And not because of his last sentence.

Because you understood.

You didn’t have any siblings, but you had to grow up pretty self-sufficient.

[you]: damn i didn’t think of it like that

[you]: makes me feel like a bitch for what i’m about to say

[youknow everythin]: Tell me

“You are so out of it,” Theo said, handing the beautifully decorated coffee over to you. With whipped cream on the top he swirled caramel around it. Looking up at him, he gave you a smile and stepped away from the counter to take care of another customer who had appeared beside you while you were focused on your screen. 

“I’m sorry,” you sighed.

[you]: i think she’s lying about her brother

“The drama never ends,” you whispered, picking up the coffee to take a sip of it. It was equally sweet as it was caffeinated. “Oh my god,” you groaned after a swallow. Theo smirked over his shoulder. “I’ll text you the money,” you said, tapping away to open his messages, but he stopped you.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, flipping the other person's coffee over to shake it. “Someone left you an allowance. I think you’re good for the rest of the semester to be honest.” He chuckled as your brows rose. “You have another friend down at ATZ, and I assume he’s told you all about me.”

“Soul,” you mumbled, and Theo shot you a look that did little to warm your heart. “Yeah, he, uh, he told me.”

Popping a lid on the small sized cup in his hand, he slid it over the counter to the person next to you and muttered, “Three eighty seven,” and took the cash as they handed it over. “I don’t want to tell you to stay away from him,” Theo said to you, giving the person their change, “He’s really not that bad of a guy.” Shifting back over to your side of the counter, he leaned over on his elbows and looked up at you. “He’s just been through some shit.”

Rolling your eyes, you sipped your drink and tried not to laugh. “Seems to be the theme of the day.” Theo flattened his lips into some sort of smile. “What was her name?”

He closed his eyes and released a breath. “Soojin.” When his eyes met yours he laughed at your pout. “Don’t, it’s okay. She was a year below me in school, they had another year of high school together, I was here, it wasn’t a big deal.”

With another sip, you tried to hide behind your straw when you asked, “When did it happen?”

Theo smirked, assessed his surroundings and the little people that were inside his cafe. “She was a senior, he was a sophomore, I was a freshman trying to get into the prestigious ATZ. I was upset when it happened of course, she and I were still dating, but, when you really look at it, what kind of senior in high school takes an interest in a sophomore…”

“Oh my god,” you sighed, your eyes going wide. Theo grinned.

“Yeah, so I ended that quick,” he nodded once, standing up to clean up behind his counter. “And, I made sure Shota was okay, even though he was all smug about it. He was sixteen, he had every right to think he was hot shit for sleeping with a senior, but brotha’ was a victim.”

Soul’s dark eyes that never seemed to have a thought behind them came to mind, and you were gutted. “Tae, oh my god,” you said and he shrugged, wiping down his machines. “He told me that you hate him for it.”

Theo huffed a laugh, then hung his head for a few seconds. “If that’s what he wants to believe, I’ll take it. I don’t hate him,” he turned to give you a look. “He’s impressionable. Don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s not… all there,” he came closer to you. “His parents are… were… kinda messed up. You can’t tell him I said any of this,” Theo pointed at you, his eyes going stern.

“Promise,” you whispered, holding up a hand.

Theo tapped his fingers on the counter, watching them for a moment. “He was in therapy for a while.”

“Weren’t we all?” you attempted to lighten the air, smiling, and he laughed.

“I guess at some point,” he breathed. “I mean, I was after my parents got divorced, so… No, but, Shota, he’s been into a lot of things kids shouldn’t get into. This ability for him to… attract… that kind of attention, like with Soojin, I don’t know, it’s…” 

“His eyes,” you whispered, and Theo never looked at you faster. Sheepishly smiling, you said, “He’s been following me around for a little bit now, Tae. He showed up to ITZ one night.” Theo’s eyes shot open wide. You nodded. “Yeah, he’s persistent. I can kinda see why he’d so easily coerce someone… Not saying that’s what he did, or has done, but… Yanno?”

Theo thought about it, then asked, “So, you were catchin’ a crush?”

“No,” you said, hushed and rushed. “I have way too much happening to have a crush on a freshman. That makes me Soojin, just many years later.” He smiled, popping his brows. “And, now that I know he’s your little brother? That’d be weird. You and I were dates at Date Night last winter, my allegiance is to you, Taeyang.”

“I’ll never forget Wooyoung's face when we got picked,” he said, and you both shared a smile. “He was pissed.”

Names were chosen at random between the sorority and the fraternity, pairs made for the night. Date Night, one of the more exciting events thrown between the houses, kicked off with a bang though neither house raised enough to put toward this current year. Still, it was fun, and you were paired with Theo who drank your required liquor when you couldn’t stomach anymore. The two of you danced, you laughed, you hung out with Tori and Yeosang, her randomly chosen date, and you partied until the next morning. 

The kicker… You were strapped together at the wrist. You physically could not leave your date alone, and if someone else wanted to talk to you, you had to talk to their date, too.

Vernon was paired with Isla.

Yuna and Jongho were matched up.

Ryujin and San.

Chaeryeong was paired with a senior, as well as Mingi, like you and Theo.

Hongjoong had a senior from ITZ on his wrist.

Seonghwa and Lia both had freshman recruits.

Yunho got lucky enough to have Mina follow him around.

And, Wooyoung had Yeji.

You could say that was the start of the downfall, that Yeji and Wooyung were paired up together, so who knows if that night they hooked up as well, but you’ve stopped letting the thought bother you.

“It was fun,” you gave him a small smile.

“It was.” He returned it. “Are you guys gonna do that again? I know that one’s like tradition, right?”

“Tori has it on the schedule,” you said. “She’s stuck it sometime in October now, I think around Halloween? It might land on her birthday, I’m not so sure.”

“Well,” he stood up straight, having leaned over the counter again, and slapped his hands on the vinyl. “If you get paired with Shota, keep an eye on him.”

“Think I might do that regardless now, Tae,” you said, lifting your drink a bit to signal your exit. “Thanks again.”

Theo smirked and watched you leave the cafe. “Thank my brother.”

september 23rd ~ monday ~ 1:47 p.m.

[youknow everythin]: Rory there’s nothing there though, we can’t just assume, can we?

“It was here yesterday!”

Sitting forward, you laid your phone on the table beside your plate and groaned in frustration. Tori, cross legged with her waves over her shoulders, watched you with a raised brow.

“He deleted it, he had to have deleted it,” you whispered, refreshing Chan's profile three times before giving Tori a look of dismay. “When we were at the library, he posted it.”

“It’s been a day, it’s not going to be there anymore,” she said, picking up her fork. “I want to believe you, though.”

Eyes bugging out of your head, you attempted to refresh the page again. “You don’t believe me? How?” When you met her eyes again the taste in your mouth went sour. “Tori, I’m not lying to you, I swear to God, she is lying to us.”

“What person would lie about their brother like that?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” you shouted, and many heads turned your way. The two of you were at a small table toward the front of the sushi restaurant you stormed out of over a week ago. “Yunho thinks she’s got that invisible child thing. You know, where they pry for attention, or something.”

Tori, sipping her water, rolled her eyes. “Listen, I want to believe you, Ror, but now that you’ve got this thing with Yunho, it looks like you’re trying to make her the bad guy.”

Right, she was still miffed about the whole situation.

“I know what it looks like, okay?” You squeezed your eyes shut. “I’m not trying to… Win the boy, or whatever it is you think I’m doing. I have the boy. It’s not about that.”

Tori sat back in her chair and folded her arms. “You do, do you?” You nodded and she pursed her lips. “Then, what is it about? If she is lying like you say she is, what’s the point of calling her out for it? Just let it go, all shit comes out eventually.”

She was right.

Letting her go back to her sushi, you swiped back to your messages.

[youknow everythin]: She has been giving me specific updates, Rory

[youknow everythin]: I don’t think she’s lying

september 24th ~ tuesday ~ 2:44 p.m.

In four days you and your sisters would be walking through the doors of ATZ with your recruits. The two houses would come together for dinner, an introduction of sorts, a welcome to the life type of night. There have been freshmen in and out of the house since yesterday morning, touring the property, meeting the board, sucking up to Yeji who spoke to them all with the fakest smile you’ve ever seen.

Standing in the foyer now, your new dark blue ITZ t-shirt on and tucked into the waist of your jeans, two girls walking through the door in sundresses caught your eye. Wide eyed and excited, they gasped to themselves as they gaped up at the ceiling, the two of them arm in arm, linked together. It reminded you of you and Tori. They joined the few girls already walking the first floor, taking in the photos on the wall, reading every description, every story that lived on the white paint.

Ryujin, in the same t-shirt, stood beside you. Nudging her side, you gestured toward the girls.

“Those are the two I met at ATZ,” you whispered. Ryujin scanned the group, then found them and squinted. “They’re freshmen, and I think they come as a pair. Can’t buy them separately.”

“Like you and Tor,” Ryujin mumbled, and you smiled. “My gaydar is going off looking at the shorter one, I can probably make some magic happen.” Fluffing her shaggy hair, she adjusted her shirt to be a bit more frumpy, letting it hang over the waist of her wide legged jeans. She was gone in seconds, flashing a sideways smile to both girls who shook Ryujin’s hand with caution. Sure enough, the shorter one let her eyes slip up and down the seniors frame, but that could mean anything. Ryujin was walking sex appeal, if you swung that way you’d be sneaking out of her room every morning instead of an ATZ bedroom.

Taking a quiet moment for yourself, not being bothered by freshman looking to kiss ass, you pulled out your phone and checked your messages.

[youknow everythin]: How's it going over there? These freshman are ridiculous

Smiling, you worked your fingers on the keys.

[you]: at least you don’t have to listen to a trillion female empowerment stories

[you]: think every girl in this house right now has told the same story

[you]: i think i love it though, they all have something to prove, it’s admirable

[youknow everythin]: Does it remind you of your recruitment? 

[you]: totally, i was coming from a single father who lived paycheck to paycheck, i had to be obnoxious and prove myself. i’m seeing a lot of yeji’s and chaeryeong’s in this crowd. money money money

[youknow everythin]: Same over here, lots of guys flashing their bank accounts. And why is everyone a business major?

[you]: hey, don’t diss

[youknow everythin]: Not what I meant <3 <3 <3

[youknow everythin]: Have you talked to Seonghwa about anything yet? I assume not because he’s been nice to me all day

[you]: no, we should just wait a little bit. shit isn’t hitting the fan right now, we’ll be better off later. you haven’t said anything to mina yet?

[youknow everythin]: Not with this brother thing happening. Plus, she's VP so she’s got a lot on her plate at the moment.

Glancing up at her now, the Vice President, it was written on her t-shirt that she tucked into her denim skirt. Jeans were the dress code for this day, but apparently any denim was acceptable. She was smiling ear to ear while she spoke to a group of girls that gazed up at her with starry eyes. Admitting to yourself that it was impressive she was Vice President already, a sophomore, it didn’t make the feeling in your gut lessen.

Something was off.

It made you wonder if she heard your conversation with Tori the other day.

[you]: understood. keeping shit undercover

[youknow everythin]: It’s been hard to keep Mingi quiet. He’s so nosey. He wants to talk about us all the time.

[you]: us

[youknow everythin]: Us

[youknow everythin]: <3

“Great turn out today, don’t you think?”

Chills ran down your spine. Shoving your phone into your pocket, you turned over your shoulder and plastered a smile onto your face.

“So great,” you said. “I was just thinking about how there are so many like minded girls in here that have something to prove.”

Yeji pierced you with her fox-like gaze, attempting to look through you, into you. In all of the past weeks you’ve never had to be one on one with her, you’ve only had to deal with her in meetings. Her ombre hair curled perfectly laid over her shoulders, tucked behind one ear, showed off the diamonds she was wearing in her lobes. In her t-shirt and skinny jeans, she topped off the fit with strappy black heels and thin silver and gold bracelets on her wrists.

“Like minded?” Yeji asked, letting her eyes leave you for only a second to take in the group. “Explain.”

Swallowing, your mouth had gone dry, you nodded. “Their grades are fantastic, first of all, which you know to me is the most important of all.” Yeji narrowed her eyes. “But, the stories they’re telling us, what they’ve gone through to get here, some being told they’ll never make it to this school, that they’ll never get far… And, they’re here.” She bobbed her head, and smiled once you said, “It makes me think of Mina.”

“Does it?” she questioned, taking a peek at her second speaking with the girls.

“It does,” you whispered. “Everything with her family, yanno? She’s here, at Nasara, and she did that for herself. It’s incredible. I mean, even Isla, she wanted to do something for herself and she’s-”

“Leaving us in a day or two,” Yeji muttered, and your heart stopped. Taking in the shock on your face, she nodded, her stone cold expression never changing. “Don’t worry, she’s not being kicked out. Her brother has been in contact with us. He’s going to come get her, she needs his help. I’ll be sharing the news with Ryujin tonight, so if you could do me a solid and not tell anybody?”

Looking for the senior, the unsuspecting girl laughing it up with the two girls you met at the party, the walls seemed to tighten around you a smidge. She had no idea she was losing her roommate of the last three years. The two met on this day, Ryujin a sophomore, Isla a freshman. They clicked, they understood one another, they became best friends. Ryujin has done so much for Isla within the last year, and now she’d have to go through her most important year alone.

“She’s withdrawing?” you asked Yeji.

“She’s done,” the president nodded. “Withdrawn from classes, from the sorority, from Nasara entirely.”

“Where will she go?”

“With DK,” Yeji shrugged. “We don’t have the ability to help her here. She needs her family. That’s important, you know that, right? Family?” The look she gave you before she scampered away to greet some more freshmen wandering into the house was unreadable. 

february 14th ~ thursday ~ last semester ~ 11:21 p.m.

The ball hit the edge of the cup and bounced onto the floor, a choir of groans echoing throughout the crowded living room. Bumping into Tori, your pong partner, you grabbed onto her arm and voiced your own disappointment. Across the table, the two boys you were playing simply laughed.

“Leave us alone!” Tori shouted playfully. “She’s not good at this, okay, we know this!”

Blushing, you laughed aloud, too drunk to care that she had half roasted you while trying to defend you. “I suck!”

“You do, is that the best you’ve got?” Yunho grilled, wearing a devious smirk on his lips. Poking his tongue out the corner when you looked at him, he raised his brows and motioned toward himself with his fingers. 

Mingi elbowed him, smiling at his girl from across the table doused in beer and liquor. The room was dark, people in the crowd around you were using their flashlights on their phones to light up the table for you four. You were both down to the last three ups on either side.

“She doesn’t seem so bad, you guys are tied.” A voice that wrapped around your heart made you smile. Turning around you bump into Wooyoung who wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his chest. Bringing his lips to your ear he said, “Stand up straight, keep your elbows to yourself and throw without thinking too hard.”

Pulling away from him, he kept a hand on your back, he smiled at you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. Following his instructions, standing up straight, you made eye contact with Yunho who now wore a scowl. Music flooded your ears, peoples shouts from everywhere in the house threatened to pull your liquor fueled brain elsewhere. Wooyoung took his hand around your waist and gave you a squeeze.

“Breathe,” he said, and you listened. “Look at the cup… Good.” You turned your chin to look at him and he laughed, using his other hand to maneuver your focus back to the table. “Look at the cup, baby, you can do this, prove them wrong, I know you can.”

“Don’t think someone’s allowed to touch the player while they throw,” Yunho called out, and Mingi laughed. Tori shut him up with a glare. 

Wooyoung curled his lip. “Shut up.” Moving behind you, putting both hands on your waist, he cradled his chin into your neck. “Throw it. Show them.” His lips ghosted your skin and you longed to drop the ball and spin around in his arms, but the way Yunho was glaring at you made you want to throw the ball at his head instead of the red cups waiting for you.

“Any day now,” Yunho complained, tipping his chin backward.

“Ro, shut this guy up,” Wooyoung said loud enough for him to hear. Smiling, feeling his hands press into your waist, you pulled your hand back and released the ball. It went into a cup and swirled around in circles, and the three of you on your end of the table cheered for half a second.

Yunho dipped his fingers inside and flicked it out, both him and Mingi laughing together. The crowd was impartial, no one knew who to be happy for.

“Are you kidding me?” Wooyoung spat, pulling you away from the table, planting his hands on the edge. Yunho raised a brow, a shiteating smirk on his lips.

“That’s the game,” he said.

“You’re a piece of shit, just let her have it,” Wooyoung said, throwing a hand toward the cups left in front of the boy many inches taller than him. “It’s one cup.”

Yunho glanced down, then scoffed. “Yeah, it’s one cup,” he parroted, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “She’ll get it again, though she’s missed the last ten shots.”

Tori circled the table and ended up somewhere around Mingi, her boyfriend craning his neck down to press kisses to her cheek. Waiting behind Wooyoung, not knowing what the hell was going to happen, you turned around and found San making his way through the crowd. Raising your hands in the air, you shouted for him.

“Sannie!”

His face lit up. “Ror!” Elbowing past bodies, he found your side and groaned. “Oh no,” he slung himself over your back when you turned around to face the table. “What happened? Why’s he mad?”

Pointing at Yunho, your best friend giving you two ounces of attention, scrunching his nose at San, you said, “He was talkin’ shit, I threw the ball like Wooyoung said, I made it in, but Yo knocked it out.”

San shook his head. “No, you’re kidding, shit move, Yunho!” He looked back at you and San at the sound of his name. “You always play girls like that?” 

Wooyoung smiled at San and held up a hand. “Hang on.” Pointing at Yunho, he said, “Own up to it. Or, you give me the balls, and if I make it in the other two cups, the girls win and you both forfeit for the night. I’m tired of seeing you both standing over here.”

Yunho and Mingi shared a look. From beneath his arm Tori said, “You don’t have to be a jerk, Wooyoung.”

Giving your roommate a look, he quirked a brow. “You wanna take their side over your own sisters? Damn, Tori, that says a lot about you doesn’t it?” San snickered behind you, his hands tangling over your chest. Wooyoung turned back to Yunho. “Balls,” he wiggled his fingers, and the boy obeyed, rolling them across the table. Clutching them both, Wooyoung rolled them in his hands and smirked. “I make it in those two, the ones she didn’t touch, they win. You’re done.”

Yunho crossed his arms and tilted his head back, the smug look in his face doing something to you. “Do it,” he scoffed. “If you don’t make it you have to leave for the rest of the night, how about that?”

Wooyoung threw both balls, one right after the other. They landed in both cups, the ones you didn’t touch, with a splash. The room lost their minds. Yunho and Mingi dropped their arms in shock.

Wrapping an arm around you, acquiring you from San, Wooyoung flashed them a sweet smile. “I was planning on leaving anyway.” And he whisked you out of the living room, leaving the boys dumbfounded behind you.

Barreling through people, both of you laughing, you babbling on about how crazy of a shot that was, you were seconds away from telling him he got lucky when he pressed you against the wall in the hallway, just short of the stairs. 

Almost nose to nose, he placed a hand on the wallpaper and the other to your cheek, dragging his thumb over your skin. He wore a smile, his lips closed hiding his perfect teeth. His hair hung over his forehead, the waves having been pushed side to side all night.

“Did you like the way he was talking to you?” he asked, letting his fingers dance into your hair, pushing it gently off your shoulders that were bare in Tori’s strapless top you borrowed.

Blinking, getting lost in the depths of almond eyes, you took a breath. “Who, Yunho?” Wooyoung nodded, the smallest gesture. “Not really, but it’s Yunho, he never really means what he says. He could talk all the shit in the world and then seconds later his mood changed.”

“It wasn’t cool, Ro,” he said, his hand taking to your shoulder, not dropping any further. “I didn’t like it.” His lips formed a pout. “He was talking about my girl.” Your cheeks warmed, and he smiled, flashing you his perfect teeth. His beauty was indescribable, you couldn’t put words to it. So unique, so undeniably gorgeous. He was a wanted man, and he was here in your arms.

“Your girl,” you whispered, eyes flickering down to his lips. “Since when am I your girl?”

Laughing to himself, he brought both of his hands over your neck, his hands taking to your chin, tilting you upward. His grip was gentle, everything about how he dealt with you was gentle. “I want you to be my girl,” he whispered. “But you get hung up on jackasses, just pay attention to me, Ro, these other guys don’t matter.”

Blinking a few times, you muttered, “Wooyo, I’m drunk.” Exhaling heavily, you wiggled in his grip and he let you go. “I pay attention to you, what’re you talking about?”

Having taken a step backward, his hands were to himself. “You do,” he said. “I just mean… Nevermind.”

This time you came closer to him, sliding your arms around his neck, pulling him in. He walked backward so he could lean against the wall. Taking his arms around your back, he gazed down at you, studying you, taking in every little piece of you.

“We can talk when you’re not drunk,” he whispered, dipping his chin down to brush his nose against your own. Whispering your agreement, he smiled, then tilted his chin and pressed his lips to yours. In mere seconds your hands were in his hair, holding onto him like he’d soon run away. You yearned to melt into him, to stay here forever with his lips on yours, taking your time as if it was the first time you’ve found yourself here.

He treated each kiss like it was fragile, like if he moved too fast the moment would end. Soft lips pulling you under, his tongue meeting yours to deepen it further. There was no rush, no hurriedness about it. By now one would figure you’d be pulled upstairs and stripped to nothing, but, not with Wooyoung. Not now.

Neither of you crossed that line. Neither of you wanted to, not yet. Though many, many make outs, like this one, have ended with sweaty skin and the need to change your pants, both of you, the drive to go further always pulled you both back. Wooyoung had always been quicker to stop it, to stop you if your hand fell to the button of his pants, or if you seemed to fall into some sort of conditioned way of moving about him. 

At first it was strange, him wanting to take his time, but for a couple months now you’ve both been reeling in the build up, in the excitement of what’s to come, the two of you unspokenly going about this thing like it were your first time ever.

“Aurora,” Wooyoung whispered, touching his forehead to yours. Looking up at him through your lashes you smiled. “So beautiful,” he kept his voice low, just for you. “Promise me,” he said, and you lowered your brows. “Promise me you’ll stay away from them.”

“Away from who?”

“Don’t let them pull you into their games,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s how this shit works, this life. They won’t stop until they win.” His hands slipped into your hair, pushing it away. Pausing, he studied you once more and kissed you. “They’ll snuff out anything standing in their way.”

september 25th ~ wednesday ~ 7:15 p.m.

[you]: hey, hope its okay tae gave me your number… you didnt have to do this, but thank you. i’ll blame you for the caffeine addiction next semester

[soul]: come to atz to thank me in person

[you]: too much to do, sorry friend. i’ll see you on saturday, right?? you used your brain instead of your wallet, yeah?

[soul]: yeah…… something like that.

[you]: good. keep it up.

[you]: do me a solid?

[soul]: anything for you

[you]: tell yunho to answer his phone if you can find him, he’s supposed to meet me somewhere and i think he’s drowning in books right now

[you]: hope those boys arent giving you too much of a hard time

[soul]: not at all :)

He was fifteen minutes late. That’s extremely unlike him. Yunho was a cluster fuck, but he was a punctual cluster fuck. 

The two of you were finally meeting at Blend. You had secured a booth in the farthest corner, not that the place was buzzing with life anyway. Away from the windows, away from the door. You weren’t looking to create any problems. All of your board members were busy situating girls to rooms anyways, all of the details needing to be mapped out by Friday morning when all of the new recruits would arrive.

Tori let you in on the secret, there were maybe ten at max that made it through all the way. There were only a couple set aside for now, needing a couple more details set in stone before they could move forward. 

Not needed around the house, actually trying to stay out of everybody's way, you were able to corral Yunho to agree to come out this evening. Unfortunately it looks like homework may win again, however. You wanted to unpack this month with him, unpack what had happened on the roof, discuss Mina when you both weren’t delirious and half asleep.

Sending him the second ‘where are you’ text, you locked your phone and tossed it to the table as the door to Blend swung open. Heart hoping it was Yunho waltzing inside with a hilarious apology, you’re surprised to see Seonghwa, in all black of course. He had his hair pulled back in a tie, hanging low on his neck. It took him three seconds to find you, his eyes scanning the room as if he smelled you the second he walked in. 

“Ror,” he said, his voice and his smile giving you some sort of comfort.

“Hey,” you said quietly, toying with the straw in your cup. Seonghwa gave the smallest wave, if you could call it that, to Theo, then he changed his course and came over to you, leaving the barista dumbfounded as his eyes followed him over to you. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa half laughed, sliding into the booth across from you, leaving his legs dangling out the side, his feet touching the floor. He slid his hand across the table and brushed his fingers over yours. “I’ve been feeling a little off, think I wanted something warm to drink.”

Raising a finger, letting him slip one beneath yours, you tilted your head. “Feeling sick?”

He shifted in his seat, swinging his legs underneath the table, his knees bumping into yours. His height was unreal. “No, not sick,” he muttered. “Just… off.”

Hooking your finger onto his, you pouted. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Nodding toward the counter where Theo worked behind it without a sound, Seonghwa glanced over there. “Get a drink,” you smiled. “It’s on me.”

Blinking once, he moved his eyes to you, then he released a laugh. “Now that I can’t do.”

“Why not?” you asked, watching him lace his fingers within yours.

“Because,” he whispered, his lashes fluttering as he spoke.

Leaning over the table, you lowered your voice and flipped your brows. “You helped me, now let me help you.”

Seonghwa mainted face. “Did I?” His voice was a whisper. Eyes sharp, the sudden vulnerability swallowed you. A lot has happened since you slept with him. 

At least it felt like a lot.

“I mean, yeah,” you said with a small shrug. Clenching his jaw he glanced at your hands.

“Then you won’t be upset if I tell you he went to see Mina tonight?”

You yanked your hand back, tucking it into your lap with the other. Nausea filled your gut, you could get sick in front of him right here.

“She’s been having a hard time, I've heard, they talk everyday.”

Gulping away the lump in your throat you dropped your eyes to the table and sucked in a shaky breath.

He told you he’d be here.

He promised you that you would talk, about everything.

He hasn’t said that word since he snuck onto your roof.

“Ror?” Seonghwa tapped one of his fingers on the table, pulling you from your thoughts that didn’t circle as much as you thought they would. It was simple. “You okay?”

Rolling your shoulders back, sitting up straight, you sighed and smiled at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Seonghwa tried to smile, but his lips could only crinkle as the corners lifted.

“You sure?” he whispered.

The space between your lungs tightened. “No,” you breathed, lifting your hand back onto the table, touching your finger tip to his. Seonghwa looked down at them for half a second. “I thought…”

He bit the bullet and folded his hand within yours again. “Tell me.”

The rub of his thumb over the back of your hand soothed the hurt. “Just thought I really had him this time.”

His brows lowered ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

Tightening your grip on his hand, his thumb stopped moving. “Hwa, you can’t get mad,” you whispered, poking out your bottom lip a bit, praying your shining eyes would persuade him enough.

“Why would I be mad?” he questioned, his voice going deep.

“Because,” you said, and he narrowed his eyes. “Tori told me you do this… thing. Well, really, Mingi told her.” Seonghwa blew air out his lips and let his eyes close for a second. “I’m serious. You gave me a crazy ass hickey, Hwa. Apparently that means I belong to you.” Ignoring how his eyes darkened, you smiled when he did.

“A man can’t just do it ‘cause he likes it?” he snickered, shaking his head. Shrugging your shoulders, his thumb resumed its dance over your skin. “Ror, you don’t belong to me. Did I love our night together, fuck yes, you know how to ride a dick.”

“Hwa!” you giggled, glancing around the cafe, taking a peek at Theo making a drink behind the counter for a customer not present. He didn’t hear him.

“You're cute when your cheeks go all pink,” he mumbled, bringing your attention back to him. “When did you guys happen? At the next one?”

“Jesus, Seonghwa, I’m not an animal.”

“I am,” he smirked, getting the exact reaction out of you he was hoping.

Calming your smile, you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head vigorously. “Stop,” you laughed, “I think it was like a week after, or something. You picked me up and brought me to the party where it all… went to shit, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“No, it’s not your fault, come on.” Wiggling your hand in his you forced his eyes to yours and you smiled what you could. “I should’ve listened to you.”

Seonghwa took a breath and adjusted himself in his seat. “I mean,” he smirked, “Technicaly you did, I said fuck him.”

Laughing with him, you groaned. “Bad idea. Bad idea.”

“It was?” he asked, leaning forward. “I thought you really liked him.”

“Unfortunately I think I do,” you said. “But, at the same time, and I said this to Tori… I don’t know what that feels like.” Seonghwa zoned in his focus and slowly nodded. “I’m… attracted and all that, but I don’t know what it feels like to… be in love with somebody.”

“Love, sheesh,” he muttered. “Who uses that word anymore?”

“Yunho,” you whispered, giving him a sheepish look, one he raised his brows at. “Yeah,” you sighed. “Don’t spill that to anybody. I trust you.”

Seonghwa smiled. “I know you do, that’s why you let me-“

“Stop,” you cut him off with a wide smile, your tone singing a song. Laying your other hand on top of his, you took a deep breath. “We’re not gonna talk about that, okay?”

“Okay,” he said with a bow of his head.

The door to Blend opened, not nearly as confident as when Seonghwa came in. Turning a bit to peek at who it was, your nerves shook themselves awake.

He didn’t see you until he was at the counter, grabbing onto the small white cup that Theo slid over to him.

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa said loud enough to get the boy to turn. He wore a leather jacket, one hand shoved inside a pocket, and dark blue denim jeans. The shirt on the inside was black.

Kicking your foot into his shin, you shot Seonghwa a glare. Wooyoung turned, confused as hell, but once he processed it was the two of you, you swore he rolled his eyes.

“Since when did you come here?” Seonghwa asked, sharing an equally confused look with his brother.

Wooyoung sipped his drink and lifted the cup in answer. “I’m here every Wednesday night. Last semester I was here every Tuesday night.”

“And the semester before that?” you questioned, slightly teasing him. He moved his eyes over to you and you felt the earth shake beneath you. Both of you were sober, facing one another for the first time since the end of last year.

“I was here every Monday night.” His gaze hardened.

“Why?” Seonghwa twisted his brows, looking the boy up and down. Wooyoung took two steps closer to the table.

“‘Cause,” he started, lowering his chin, balancing his cup in his hand against his bottom lip.

“Chai tea,” you mumbled, and both Seonghwa and Wooyoung looked at you. The boy across from you raised an eyebrow. “And Blend has the honey your mom uses at home.” Glancing at Wooyoung, he watched you. Subtle shock lived in his face, but he wouldn’t show it.

“You remember that?” he asked quietly.

Nodding with a shrug, you said, “Yeah, you told me about it when she called you to yell at you about your psych grade last year.” Seonghwa, in awe, released your hand. Wooyoung took notice.

“Why these specific days though?” Seonghwa shook his head.

You spoke before either of them could. “It means his hardest classes are today…”

It took you a couple seconds to work up the courage to look at Wooyoung again, but you did, and you found him thinking, his brows pointed and his eyes somewhat soft. Parting his lips as if to speak, he bit down on his bottom one instead and turned to walk out the door, telling Theo, “Thanks, Tae, I sent the money.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes were on you, hot. The moment the door was closed and Wooyoung was gone, he started to laugh.

“Don’t start,” you whispered, looking up at him.

“How can I not?” He shook his hair and sat backward. “That was entirely too adorable, Ror. Remembering his order? Remembering why he came here? You’re a real lover girl, aren’t you?”

Averting your eyes to the table, you pushed your drink aside, feeling too sick to drink anymore. “I just remember,” you shrugged. “It’s important to me. Remembering. Especially things like that.” You looked at him. “If you care about somebody, you tend to remember those things.”

At the word care he scrunched his nose.

Your phone buzzed on the table, both of you glancing at the screen that lit up with Tori’s name. Beneath her message was one from Yunho. Picking it up, you opened his first.

[youknow everythin]: Oh my god, I forgot. Rory. I’m so sorry, holy shit.

You flickered your eyes up at Seonghwa momentarily.

“What happened?” he asked.

He went to see Mina tonight.

“Nothing,” you whispered, focusing back on your screen.

[honey sweetie light of my life (no she didn’t make this her own name in your phone)]: get to the house NOW

[honey sweetie light of my life (no she didn’t make this her own name in your phone)]: ryujin losing her shit hurry hurry i cant get her to stop yelling at yeji

[honey sweetie light of my life (no she didn’t make this her own name in your phone)]: isla is gone, no one knows when she left, her stuff is gone

“Seonghwa, I gotta go,” you mumbled, barely giving him another look, leaving him at the table. Not a word was spoken elsewise. He let you go.

It took ten minutes to walk back to ITZ. Placing a hand over your racing heart, you barreled up the stairs and paused. Through the door, through the walls, Ryujins voice echoed into the outside. It sounded like things were being thrown, there were voices on voices and bangs on bangs.

Pushing the door open you’re greeted by a shoe falling to the floor in front of you from the second floor. Shutting the door with your back, you snapped your neck up and found the back of Yeji, standing against the railing with her arms folded over her chest. The shouting was coming from up there, Ryujin.

“YOU NEVER SAID SHIT YEJI! She’s GONE, where the FUCK did she GO!?”

Bending to pick her shoe up, finding many more littered about the floor, a hand grabbed your wrist and stood you up. Tori, eyes wide and brows high, shook her head and gestured toward the upstairs. “Don’t bother, she launches them back down. Yeji’s dodged almost every sneaker she owns, if we bring them back we’re only supplying her ammo.” She pulled you toward the stairs, out of the way of unidentified flying objects.

“What the hell is happening?” you asked, keeping your voice low. Ryujin still screamed, every profanity possible. Turning to Tori, she cringed. She had been crying, her eyes were glassy. Glancing upstairs, the other girls were either in their doorways or on the other side of the staircase, out of the way of Ryujin’s rage.

“Isla’s gone,” Tori whispered, the tears welling up in her eyes. “All of her things are gone, all of her belongings, her furniture, it’s gone. There isn’t a trace of her in that room. Ryujin came home from class and lost her shit.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” you muttered. “No one’s tried to stop her?”

Tori gave you a look. “That’s her best friend, Ror. If this happened to you, and I suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t you freak the fuck out?”

Your heart sank. “Suddenly? What do you mean suddenly?”

She shrugged, a few tears falling down her cheeks. “No one knew, she didn’t tell anybody.”

“Who?” you whispered. Tori gave you another look, her brows meeting in the middle of her forehead. 

“Isla,” she sighed. “She didn’t say anything, she just… left. Quietly, too, no one knows how she did it.”

Gritting your teeth you took a breath and turned your attention to the senior on the second floor telling Yeji exactly what she thinks about her, and the president was unmoving. Still, not frozen, but still, Yeji watched her. Watched her scream, watched her sob, watched her throw whatever she could at her, and she didn’t say a word.

Now you could be sick. Now you could fall to the floor, your knees weak. Grabbing onto Tori, your best friend wrapped a hand around your back, laying her chin on top of your head, sniffling. 

Yeji knew how she did it. Yeji knew how she left. She knew when she left.

And so did you.

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 6:00 p.m.

Twenty five boys stood on the front steps of the ATZ house. Most of them wore smiles, and neatly buttoned shirts and pants, their hair styled to perfection, standing tall as you and your sisters approached the porch. Whispers moved through their group, the boys excited, and hungry. They had outdone you. ITZ was only bringing ten more girls.

Nineteen of you. There would’ve been more, but those girls you met at the party, and some others, didn’t make it past the cut. Turned down, Yeji signed five letters telling them they weren’t eligible for advancement into the sorority. You weren’t even able to protest without exposing to Yeji what you’d done, having attended the party, and met them in the kitchen when you were plastered. As much as you’d love to have those girls here with you, have them add a little more muscle to your sisterhood, this past month has been too much. You couldn’t risk anything at this point.

Tori, beside you in a little white dress, she slid her arm beneath one of yours and smiled. Her boyfriend was on the porch, standing in front with the original nine of ATZ. He’d already spotted her, the way he teetered back and forth on his feet shifting his weight while he waited patiently for her to find him entirely too adorable. They hadn’t seen one another in a few days, none of you have been here for a few days, both houses have been too busy preparing for this moment, and thankfully so.

Yunho stood next to Mingi, his shirt buttoned in totality, unlike his best friend who left the to one undone. The corners of his lips were turned up. A smile of sorts, but he seemed nervous. His eyes gave him away. The text he sent you Wednesday night, before rushing home to calm Ryujin- which you did- you never answered. He’s sent you a message everyday since, only two, you didn’t get one today, but it didn’t matter.

He forgot to meet you, or he was lying like his stupid girlfriend and he went out with her instead, comforting her and her allegedly real situation. For days she’s moped around the house, taking longer to talk on the phone, hanging around Yeji more than she’s ever had. She’s even taken Tori from you on a few occasions, and your roommate would come back in twenty minutes with some sort of update, telling you that Mina wasn’t feeling any better about the situation.

If she was telling the truth, she had every right to be upset. You understood that more than anybody. You’d go days without hearing from your dad sometimes, it was scary, even if you knew they were coming back. Some days it felt like they never were. Since he’s been back from his work trip in Contramano you’ve heard from him twice. A text when he returned, and then the shortest video call so he could see your smiling face.

Some days you wished you could tell him everything, that he’d be the kind of dad who would listen, and understand. Maybe he’d even give you some advice, tell you how to handle the shitshow you were swept inside of, but no. He’s taught you how to wear false emotion on your face and gave you the skill of juggling multiple situationships at once. Like you, your father didn’t know what love was. You like to think he gave you the best he could, that whenever he told you he loved you, that you were his everything, that he was telling the truth.

Maybe that was enough. The two of you trying your best to be the best people you could be for one another, knowing that at the end of the day it was just you and him. He didn’t want anything to happen to you, and though you longed for him to be detained maybe just one more time so he’d change his life, you didn’t want anything to happen to him either. He did try his hardest to be the best dad, and you could admit you gave him too much shit, but he couldn’t blame you for that. Your father has been through hell and back, a hell that he’s somewhat protected you from, a hell that he’s been learning from. Almost.

Old habits die hard.

Hongjoong stepped down from the porch with his head held high, extending a hand toward Yeji who stood at the front of your group. Smiling, his confidence exuding him, he took her hand and shook it, bowing his head as he did. Yeji returned his smile, matching his energy, and smiled. They exchanged a few words between themselves, the presidents moving with poise and juxtaposition. Hongjoong in a dark suit, his jacket buttoned with no shirt beneath it, and Yeji in a baby blue dress, her hair curled and her skin covered properly. Two halves of a whole, their knowing eyes reading one another with a careful tenacity. No one could deny their power, their own energy almost too much for themselves.

Up on the porch on the other side of the stairs stood Seonghwa, a being most of the girls behind you whispered about. A being that could have any girl in this group. All he’d have to do is point to one, and he’d have them crawling up the stairs. But, his eyes were on you, gentle and soft. When you met them he smiled. Trying to return it, your eyes fell to Vernon standing in front of him.

Brows low, his eyes were sharp, on alert, scanning your group from left to right, and back again. He tilted slightly side to side to get a glimpse of some of the girls hiding behind others. He was looking for something. Someone. When he met your eyes he questioned you with a raise of his brows, the action so small it’d go unnoticed by someone out of the know. Shaking your head, pulling your lips into a frown, you could feel the hurt that cracked his usual stoic expression in half.

Quickly composing himself, he glanced away, focusing on Hongjoong who turned back to his house, but then he narrowed his glare and shot it toward Yeji. Beside him, Wooyoung put a hand on his arm and whispered something to him. The boys spoke back and forth for a second while Hongjoong introduced himself to your sisters and new recruits, Wooyoung taking a peek at you every now and again while Vernon whispered to him.

Yeji introduced herself to the boys on the porch, the majority of the newbies visibly drooling over her. Some took their time with each face, marking their prey before it even stepped through their door. Soul was up there, leaning over the railing to the left of Seonghwa, his two freshman friends with him. The cocky one, Jongseob with his eyes set on Tori, and the shy one, Intak, who wore a smirk, eyes set on a girl somewhere behind you. 

Soul had his eyes on you. Smiling at him, his smirk deepend and he stood up straight, ripping his eyes from you to look at your president.

Both houses recited their mission statements for one another, whipping you into shape quickly, pulling your attention off the boys, and then, you were in the house. 

Dinner for the most part went smooth, to plan, as it should have. The boys let you and your sisters into the house first, their greetings respectful and kind, likely the doing of Hongjoong and Seonghwa. It was how they all moved through dinner as well, respectful and kind, treating the nineteen of you like important guests in their home, serving you, proving themselves. Soul had been the one to bring you a drink, something without alcohol in it.

That was for later.

This was all an act.

The recruits with you expressed their shock, their surprise that the frat house wasn’t a mess, not dirty in the slightest, and you wanted to let them in on a secret, but figured they’d see it soon enough. As soon as the clock struck ten the house flipped over.

For the majority of dinner Yunho kept to himself, hanging around Yeosang who gave you nothing more than a smile, though he hugged Tori. The first of many questionable things to happen within the hours before the party started.

Yunho didn’t say hello, he was actively trying to keep his eyes off of you. Finding something else to occupy him if the two of you got too close, usually another boy or a plate to clean up or a drink to fill.

Seonghwa checked in with you, noticing how Yunho avoided any interaction with you. In front of a group of his freshmen following him around, Soul included, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled. Soul made sure to touch your shoulder, giving you a shake before they walked away.

Vernon hovered in a corner focused on his phone for most of the dinner, his nails finding themselves between his teeth as he tried to listen to people speak, the higher ups giving tours and sharing makeshift speeches with anyone who’d listen. He couldn’t even entertain the ATZ freshmen when they’d ask him about baseball, he was totally disconnected, and he hadn’t been able to get you alone to ask you what had happened, at least not yet.

Tori and Mingi hung onto one another with class, answering the freshmen’s questions of ‘Are you together?’ with smiles and happy nods. Mina found herself beside them often, Mingi now involved in the comfort Mina project.

Wooyoung hung around the outskirts of the dinner, like he would at any of his parties this semester it seemed. A complete change from how he’d act in the past, outgoing, loud, the center of attention. It didn’t click with you until you heard your friends speak about not being able to find him when they’d come here, that he’d hide. Hide, or just know how to not be seen. Even on social media he’s gone quiet, only the occasional post going up to his story, nothing big, not since that first party when he got you in trouble.

Hongjoong walked around with Jongho, the two of them seemingly becoming partners in crime this semester more so than Hongjoong and Seonghwa. The pair were almost comical, the muscle behind the beauty, like a bodyguard, stopping anybody if they got too close to his president. The sophomore did find himself with Yuna at some point, her chocolate brown curls melting his hardened exterior in seconds. Sharing a job, Yuna would often argue, since last year, that they spoke mainly about work, but the eyes never lie. There was something there.

San, well, he was San. A polite dinner party would not stop him from waltzing around the house without a care, taking after his president, wearing no shirt beneath his suit jacket that he unbuttoned as the night drew on and on. Shamelessly flirting with anybody who’d entertain him, not even knowing he was flirting, he accidentally collected a following, boys and girls alike who some would fall victim to later on.

Somehow you collected your own following. A few of the ITZ recruits found it comfortable at your side, asking you questions about the house, about the boys whenever one would pass by you and shoot you a wink. Ryujin accompanied you, lingering close by with a scowl on her face, and rightfully so. She didn’t want to come tonight, but contractually she had too. Avoiding Vernon for now, she unspokenly clung to you.

When the clock did strike ten, however, everybody changed. The entire house flipped over, and it happened fast.

Red cups littered the place within the hour of the party starting. The lights were shut off, the music had been turned up to a volume one had to shout over, and boys jackets and girls sweaters were draped over any furniture in the vicinity. Pong tables were going in the back of the living room, shouts coming from there, Mingi and Tori’s included. Both you and Ryujin didn’t know what to do, sipping your first drinks of the night, gathering some of the girl's belongings that had been strewn about, you weren’t sure whether to chaperone or drink away your sorrows.

As the first hour progressed, Ryujin decided on the latter. Flopping onto a couch amongst the brothers and sisters chattering away, dancing around the living room, she requested a full cup from an ATZ recruit and he obliged. At least you’d know where to find her, but now this meant you were on your own.

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 11:23 p.m.

“How is Yeji okay with any of this?” Vernon said, walking with you toward the living room, dodging drunk recruits wandering to the kitchen latched to one another's arms. Glancing over your shoulder at the boy and the girl laughing, you sighed.

“It’s tradition,” you suggested, giving him a shrug. “But, it’s funny though, right? She can ban us, but then allow everybody to run free tonight. It’s a tease to these new girls, they’re gonna be so disappointed.”

Taking up a spot on the vacant stairs the two of you sat side by side, Vernon sipping from his cup, his first and only of the night. You were on your second, taking your time, not wanting to be delirious for the whirlwind that already was this night.

“You know,” Vernon started, looking over into the archway of the living room. 

San was on the back of the couch, shirtless, with his tongue down an ITZ recruits throat. You believed she was a sophomore so you didn’t feel the need to run in there and put an end to the way her hands ran over his muscled chest without a care. Even if she was, you weren’t Yeji. The fun would commence, but you’d still keep a watchful eye over your sisters, old and new.

Vernon shook his head. “I don’t even remember what I was gonna say,” he turned to you, “I thought this night was gonna go one way, but it’s gone the exact opposite since you guys got here.” 

Twisting your cup around in your hands, you took a breath. “I know,” you said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” he mumbled, knocking back what was left in his cup. “I just don’t know why she wouldn’t tell me she was leaving.”

Thinking about that night and Ryujins freak out, you circle back to the day before, when Yeji told you that Isla was withdrawing from Nasara and leaving with her brother. It was supposed to make sense, it should make sense, but for some reason, like the rest of the vague bullshit that occurred around here, it didn’t.

“She didn’t tell you anything at all?” you asked, and he shook his head, his brown curls dancing on his forehead.

“Nothing,” he nearly whispered. “I mean, I get it, she doesn’t owe me anything, we only hooked up once and she leaned on me for help, even though I genuinely wanted to help her…”

Letting him vent, you smiled once it was over. “She was still your friend, Vernon. That stuff hurts, and her not telling you that she was leaving should hurt.” He bobbed his head, letting it hang. “When did you guys… If you don’t mind me asking? I didn’t know you guys were like that.”

“Me either,” he admitted with a huff. “She, uh, showed up at my practice Monday night, and you know my coach keeps me late because of the scouting and wants to make sure I’m ready before I go up to triple A. She stayed and watched me hit, watched me work first base, bullying me the entire time- though she has no right ‘cause her brother is a pitcher and I am not, but whatever,” you both laughed, “It was really late, she helped me get my stuff together, followed me into the locker room which she’s done before, but… Something about this time she just… She got me.”

“I’m going to ask you something, please don’t take it the wrong way, okay?” you said, and he nodded. “Was she sober?”

“Completely,” he spoke fast. “Trust me, Ror. Wouldn’t have let her undress me if she wasn’t.”

“You two were really out there living every high schoolers fantasy,” you said with a giggle. “Sex in the locker rooms after baseball practice.”

He shared in your laugh for only a second. “Yeah, and now she’s gone.”

“You can always track her down,” you offered, bumping him with your elbow. “Instagram? Text? She’s with her brother, work your baseball magic and get her.”

He looked at you, his eyebrows lowering over his big brown eyes. “She’s with her brother?” A tiny spark of nerves ignited in your chest. “How do you know that, you’ve heard from her?”

“No, she hasn’t talked to any of us.”

His tone was slowly turning sharp. “Then how do you know she’s with her brother?”

“Yeji,” you whispered, unable to lie to his pretty face. “No, Vernon, wait!”

Leaping from the stairs, Vernon dropped his cup to the ground and barreled into the living room, ignoring your shouts for him to come back. Following him, jumping onto your feet, a hand landed on your shoulder before you could cross under the archway.

“Let me go,” you spat, turning around in haste. “Oh,” you sighed, and the spark of nerves turned into a flame. “What do you want?”

Yunho parted his lips as you tugged your shoulder from his grip. “Can I talk to you?”

“I don’t think so,” you said, and he scrunched up his face. “Go talk to Mina.” Spinning around to follow after Vernon, Yunho yanked you back again. “Let me go, Yo!” Facing him, he tried to put both hands on your shoulders but you swatted him away.

“Rory, can I just-”

“She said to let her go.”

Shooting a glare over your shoulder, Yunho dropped his hands to his sides and said, “You think you really have room to speak here?” Backing up from between them, you glanced at Wooyoung who glanced at you at the same time before piercing Yunho with his glare.

“A girl just told you to take your hands off of her twice, Yunho,” he said. “You think Hongjoong would be pleased to hear that?”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you Wooyoung, you really think he’ll listen to you?”

Wooyoung smiled. “Regardless of what my supposed reputation says about me, what all these people will say about me, never once have I ever been involved in a situation like the one you’re presuming I’ve been.” Yunho clenched his jaw. He caught a glimpse of you, but you were locked in on the boy speaking. “Maybe I’ve done some shitty things, but I know basic respect and consent.”

“Wooyoung, it was only this once,” you muttered, and he looked at you, his eyes swallowing you whole.

“It doesn’t matter, Ro,” he said, his tone calm as he spoke to you. “This is how it starts.” Gesturing behind him with his head, telling you to move along, you listened, and heard Yunho protest as you wandered off into the living room.

“Aurora! Aurora!” San shouted at you from the couch he was on, the sophomore in his lap now, waving for you to join them. There were bodies around them, everyone talking over everyone, taking shots they’d pour with any of the multiple bottles of liquor on the table in the center of the furniture, offering you one as you stepped over their bare legs and sweaty bodies.

“How the fuck did this turn into this so fast?” you breathed, taking the cup from an ATZ recruit, flopping onto the sofa beside San who slung an arm around you. Pressing the cup to your lips you gulped down the, you think, vodka, with a cringe.

“You’re not drunk enough,” San said, grabbing the sophomore by the waist, lifting her with him as he reached for the bottle on the table. She yelped and giggled, grabbing onto him in some way to stay on his front. In the extremely dim light you could make out her pretty face and the several purple marks on her neck from San already. “Why are you not drunk enough? There’s no rules tonight, Ror. Look at what’s happening.”

“I’ve seen what’s happening, Sannie, half of our recruits are being corrupted by yours,” you smirked and he laughed, pouring straight vodka into the cup you held out for him. “You’ve taught them well.”

“I haven’t taught them a thing,” he said, giving you a look. “They came that way. It’s not our fault every single one of you is fuckable.” Twisting the cap on the bottle he tossed it to the other side of the couch and settled his hands on his girl's hips, digging his fingers into her curves. “You know, your girls aren’t totally innocent, they know what they’re doing. They want it too.”

Sipping the liquor, you licked your lips and leaned into him, your noses centimeters apart. His breath hitched in his throat, his eyes darting down to watch your tongue. “It’s not our fault every single one of you is fuckable.” With parted lips, he sighed.

“Wanna join us?” he whispered, poking his tongue out to wet his lips. Honestly weighing the possibilities, the liquor doing nothing to keep you logical, it was possible. “Holy fuck, Aurora,” he muttered. San had an unnatural ability to figure you out, to figure anyone out. It’s how he always got what he wanted, most of the time. That and his physical appearance alone.

“Find me after I finish another drink,” you whispered, and he started to smile. Reading your mind, he met you in the middle and kissed you, your tongues moving in between it all. You’ve kissed him before, once on a dare, and then again on your own. It was all purely platonic, a fact he knew as well.

Ryujin, still planted on the couch across from the other with a girl on her lap now, she watched the three of you.

“Wait, are you serious?” he asked, calling after you as you parted from him and rose from the couch.

Sipping from the cup, you shrugged and said, “Don’t know yet, just come find.” Winking at the girl on his lap smiling at you, you spun around and continued your venture through the house, almost tripping over feet and shoes thrown about, giving them their moment back. If tonight went to shit, if you ended up with nobody, which you were somewhat hoping for now that you were on drink number three, you could possibly want to end up with San. For nothing more than just pure fun.

Tonight was a night for that, for fun. Legal, allowed to be having, type of fun.

Approaching the archway into the second half of the living room, you almost froze. Yeji was coming toward you, her eyes on watch, patrolling the property. As you passed one another her smile grew, and it was anything but comforting like your president's smile should be. It was menacing, the liquor twisting it into something to be afraid of.

“There she is, Ror!”

That was Soul’s voice. Escaping from Yeji you turned to follow the freshmans call, finding him holed up in a corner with a few others, his friends included.

“Come here,” he said, waving you forward with his hand not holding a can. Wandering toward him slightly sideways, he laughed and shook his head, holding open an arm for you to tumble into. “Where’ve you been?”

“Around,” you said, sipping your drink. Soul gave a look to Jongseob to his left and smiled.

“What are you drinking, babe?” he asked, taking the cup from you easily, tipping his chin back to take a sip. “Jesus,” he groaned. “Straight?”

“No, gay,” you said, narrowing your eyes and the boys around you laughed. Soul smirked, pressing you into his chest for a few seconds. “Here’s your fuel.” Handing the cup back to you, he watched you take a bigger sip this time around. “Where are you on your way to? Seonghwa?” Two of the boys snickered, Jongseob and Intak. Turning in Souls arms you gave a look to Jongseob, but then took your time with Intak, watching him clam up beneath your interrogation. 

He wore a suit tonight like the rest of the boys, his hair styled neatly on top of his head. His white button up beneath the black jacket was slightly disheveled, a few buttons undone from the top, not like it was hours ago. Holding a drink, he sipped it and blinked feverishly, his cheeks flushing as you pushed yourself out of Souls arms and wobbled over to him.

“Intak, catch her,” Jongseob muttered, and the boy listened, holding open his arms. Latching onto him, you smiled up at his brown eyes. 

“Is this the chick you were telling us about?” An unknown voice said from behind you. One of the boys they were standing here with. Twisting in Intaks arms, pressing your back to his front, giggling at how he tensed, you found the stranger's face and audibly sighed, expressing your contentment with his appearance. Curly ginger hair shamelessly let his eyes roam about your body.

“Who are you?” you asked. “I’ve never seen you before.”

The boy looked into your eyes and smiled, his even more charming than Jongseobs. “Jiung,” he said, and the name flowed off his tongue with grace. His suit was tailored perfectly to his form, showing off exactly what you’d get beneath it.

“Damn,” you breathed, laying your head onto Intak’s chest. “Why are you all hot?”

The boys broke out in laughter, making you smile. Intak slid an arm around your waist, keeping you close to him.

“Yeah, this is the chick you were telling me about,” Jiung said to Soul.

Looking at him, you asked, “What’s that mean?”

Soul faced you, put a hand on your cheek and pinched your skin. “Don’t worry about it.” Sharing a look with his friend that you pushed your ass against, he raised a brow. “Remember what you said about Intak?”

“I do,” you said. “How could I forget, Soul, he’s so cute.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, with a smirk, “So are you.” Soul’s smile was satisfied. Looking at Jongseob you said, “And so are you, and you.” You added a glance to Jiung as well.

“Aurora, where’s your friend?” Jongseob asked, ignoring your compliment. “The tall one, brown hair, big eyes… Boyfriend.”

Your brows shot up. “Tori?” you snickered, putting your hand over Intaks, sliding it higher on your torso. Soul and Jiung watched it move, both shocked and disappointed you stopped before it reached your chest.

“Yeah, Tori,” Seob’s eyes flashed with something dark.

“Me?” Her voice was heard before she was seen, and in a flash she was glaring around at the boys and snatching onto your wrist, pulling you off of Intak. “What’s going on here?”

“We’re just talking,” Soul said, tucking his hands behind his back. Intak shoved a hand into his pocket quickly. Tori looked him up and down and scoffed.

“You guys are disgusting,” she sneered. “Welcome to ATZ, you fit right in.” Her eyes found Jongseob last, and when he winked at her her entire body reacted, shivering as she held onto you. “I can have Mingi over here in seconds.”

“Do it,” Jongseob challenged, and Tori’s eyes shot open wide.

“Leave me alone, Seob,” she said, her tone packing a punch. “Come on,” she said to you. “How are you messed up already, who’s making you drinks?”

Watching her while the two of you walked toward the back of the living room, rather, while Tori supported your body weight as she walked toward the other room, she didn’t seem all that drunk. She could hold her drinks better than you could, that was a fact, but at this point in the night she’d be a giggling mess under Mingi’s arm.

“Are you drinking?” you asked.

“Of course I am,” she said. “I’m just not drinking fast,” she glanced down at you. “I didn’t think you wanted to get drunk tonight.” Moving around the crowd around the tables focused on the dual games going on, Mingi towering over the crowd around one end, Tori maneuvered you onto one of the leather couches pushed against a wall. A couple of other girls sat close by.

“Not drunk,” you mumbled, and Tori sat next to you with a laugh.

“Okay, then what are you?” Her tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Horny now,” you said, laughing and she slapped a hand to her mouth, holding back her own laugh. “Have you seen all of these boys?”

“I have,” she said. “Jongseob has been flirting with me all night, and unfortunately he’s really good at it. I’m seconds away from telling Mingi to stand in front of me for the rest of the night.”

“Where have you been? In here?” you asked, taking a bigger gulp from your cup, almost finishing the liquor in it. Tori nodded, her eyes scanning the room.

“Me and Mina were playing over here not too long ago,” she said and your stomach sunk. “She’s still upset, I’m trying to keep it fun for her tonight.”

The light feeling your drunkenness was giving you fell flat, like you just crashed through several floors of a building. “She’s a liar.”

Groaning, Tori tipped her chin back. “Don’t start with this, Ror.”

“No,” you said, a little louder. “I think I will start with this, ‘cause it’s all… screwy, Tor.”

“How?” Your best friend pressed her lips together and put her hands in her lap.

Holding up a finger, you said, “First of all, I saw that video, her brother is at home.”

“Okay?” Tori shrugged. “Maybe he was missing that morning, and then he came back home. She can still be upset.”

“For this long, though?” you questioned, twisting on the couch to face her entirely. “Get over it already, man, it’s been a week. I once didn’t hear from my dad for a month, you think I let that hang over me once he came back? No!”

Tori tilted her head, sliding a hand over your leg. Not picking up on her attempt to comfort you, you continued.

“And, not for nothing, but it really seems like she’s milking the whole thing. Her brother had problems, we know this, don’t we all have problems?”

Tori glanced up behind you, behind the end of the couch and sat up straight. “Ror, hang on, Ror.” Grabbing onto a hand she held out to you, you shook your head. “No! She’s, like, using it for attention. Who in their right, conscience mind would use their own brother for their own personal gain? He has problems, Tor, and she’s using them to her advantage. My god, she’s already Vice President, what, does she want to take Yeji’s job? No one wants Yeji’s job. Either way, she’s lying!”

“Aurora,” Tori whispered, her eyes wide. “Stop talking.”

“Everyone wants to shut me up,” you grumbled, messily slipping out of her grip. “Can’t do anything, or anyone in this place without being burned at the stake for it.” Standing to your feet you turned to walk out of the room, but froze in place. 

Her eyes were as wide as Tori’s, but not as full of shock. Instead they were pointed, and angry.

“You think I’m lying?” Mina spoke through her teeth.

Downing the rest of the contents in your cup, you dropped it to the floor and started to smile. “I don’t think you’re lying, I know you’re lying.”

“Aurora,” she said. “You think I would do that?” Nodding without a care, you crossed your arms. “Why?” Breathless, she spared Tori a glance who stood up behind you.

“Because,” you started, then laughed when Yunho conveniently appeared behind her. “Of course,” you threw a hand toward him, “Thanks for showing up.” Looking at Mina you pointed at Yunho. “That’s why.” 

Mina looked at him, her brows screwing up on her forehead. “What!?” She whipped her head back to you, her bob swinging beneath her chin. “You think I would lie for Yunho? He has nothing to do with this.” The boy's eyes shot open, catching on.

“Not for him, Mina, to have him,” you said, speaking slowly, chopping up your words like she was a child. “You need his attention so bad that you’ll lie to keep it, ‘cause you have some sixth sense that tells you that he’s been-” “Aurora!” Tori shouted, taking your wrist, tugging you backward.

Mina grit her teeth. “You’ve been jealous since last year, Aurora.” She threw a hand behind her to touch Yunho’s chest. “He would tell me all about it.” 

You met his eyes, his worried, anxious gaze.

“The complaints, ugh,” Mina rolled her eyes, looking up at him. “Don’t deny it, Yo. Remember in the summer?” She looked at you, her glare hot. “You wouldn’t leave him alone, Ror, it was pretty desperate.” 

You felt like you’d been kicked in the gut. Yunho couldn’t say a word, he could only watch his world burn in front of him.

“I’d have left him alone if he told me he was with you,” you spat, testing your limits in Tori’s grasp, attempting to lunge forward. “Your boyfriend didn’t tell me a thing.” Mina shared a look with him.

“Aurora, don’t you dare say anything you’re gonna regret,” Tori whispered to you. Some people had their heads turned toward you and Mina’s shouting, watching the scene take place. “Don’t be stupid.”

“You know he complained about you too, Mina,” you said, cocking your head to the side. Grinning, you laughed aloud. “Is she why you always needed two rounds, Yo?” Something flashed across her face, but you couldn’t read what. Yunho, though, looked like he’d been shot. “He’s been fucking me since May, Mina,” you curled your lip. Her face went unchanged. Gasps were heard around you. Lunging in Tori’s hold again, you laughed. “He kisses you but he’s inside of me.”

Tori attempted to walk away with you, but your feet dug into the floor. This was entirely too much fun, better than joining San and his latest conquest into his bedroom. She spoke to someone behind you, but your ears were ringing, you could hear your blood pumping.

“Just wait till you get him like that,” you said. “If you ever get over yourself and let a boy touch you.” Stumbling over your feet you headed toward the archway with Tori. “Ask him to get on top, you’ll love the face he makes!”

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 1:10 a.m.

[hbic]: She confessed. Straight up. Word for word.

[seonghwa]: What the fuck, now what? If she outed herself, no sense in us doing it all over again.

[hbic]: Yeji is expecting it from us. I’ll tell her what happened. Will let you know what we’re doing.

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 1:13 a.m.

“Stay here.” Tori’s tone was stern, her hands firm on your shoulders as she propped you in the corner of the empty kitchen. Everybody danced about the living room, or the hallway, even the upstairs. There wasn’t much for them here except for a quiet space. “You’re insane, Ror, insane.” She hurried from the corner, your voice stopping her for a few seconds.

“Where are you going?” you asked, peeking at her from around the fridge. Her hair flipped over her shoulder, her eyes ablaze.

“To clean up your mess.”

Laughing as she walked away toward Mingi waiting in the doorway glaring at you, you attempted to run through what had just happened, what you threw in Mina’s face, what you had done to you and Yunho’s relationship, and you couldn’t comprehend it. You couldn’t figure out why you did it, why you said what you said, but it felt really good to say it to her face. To finally be rid of a secret that was becoming too heavy to carry. Last you heard, he was with her anyway. He could comfort her if she was upset, if she was hurt. Though, she didn’t show much of that.

She didn’t show much of anything.

Sliding down to the tiled floor, your smile dropped, and you took in the quiet. A sound so loud, even with the bumping of the music across the house. Alone with the room spinning, you took a shaky breath and felt the familiar lump in your throat.

“Why am I gonna cry?” you mumbled to yourself, attempting to blink away the tears welling up in your eyes.

Don’t cry, you thought. She deserved it.

You suppose Yunho deserved it, too. This whole time, bouncing back and forth between the two of you, even if he made the whole thing out to be him not so interested in Mina, and very much interested in you. Your closest friend of almost three years now, playing you like a fool. Confused, because it didn’t seem like he wanted to be playing you, you’re reminded of what you thought of when Mina was telling you about how good Yunho was that first week back.

Yes, him.

Yes, Yunho.

You should’ve taken your own advice.

Tears fell steadily now, staining your cheeks, falling onto the sundress you wore. You could’ve stopped it, you had all the power in the world to put an end to you and Yunho, but something kept you going, and you’re not sure if it was him or if it was your own fucked up perception of love. He spoke empty words, and you took it like he was giving you the stars from the sky. Depth didn’t exist. He didn’t remember. He never remembered.

You took his crumbs and were content with starving. For what?

“Ro?”

Lifting your head, going dizzy, you tried to wipe your cheeks but it was no use, the tears were replaced in seconds. Blinking, you found Wooyoung making his way through the kitchen, a certain hurriedness in his walk.

“You’re gonna make this worse,” you cried, squeezing your eyes shut.

He paused in front of you, squatting down. “Ro, I don’t want to make it worse, I want to help.” His voice mimicked the way he was just walking, quick and rushed, all while trying to stay calm.

“Why do you want to help me?” Opening your eyes, he wore that face he’d give you months ago.

“Because you’re really drunk,” he said carefully. Reaching out a hand, two of his fingers touched the hem of your dress and tugged it over your legs where your knees were pulled into your chest. “You don’t have to like me, you can hate me all you want right now, but please, just trust me. Let’s go outside.”

Sliding your legs out straight, your feet touched his ankles. Sighing, you shook your head and let out a cry. “It’s because of you.” Wooyoung raised a brow. “You did this.”

He held back his smile. “I got you trashed and on the floor of the kitchen?”

Holding back your own smile, you sniffled and whined. “It started with you, all of this, you’re why it’s a mess, you’re why this is happening. I was trying to get over you, and I made a mess.”

Glancing away for a second, Wooyoung held out a hand and released a breath. “Okay, let me make it up to you then, please. Come outside with me.”

“Why?” Giving him a look, he returned it.

“Because,” he said, looking toward the entrance of the kitchen. “There’s people who aren’t nice in this house.”

“And you are nice?”

Wooyoung sighed, shaking his outstretched hand he wanted you to take. “I’m trying to be nice.”

Scoffing, you shook your head. “Nice for what?”

He took a breath and looked you dead in the eyes. “Because you may have gotten over me, but I am not over you.”

He may as well have sucker punched you in the chest. You couldn’t feel your body. You were drunk, but you were not expecting those words to come out of him.

“I don’t believe you,” you whispered, and he cringed.

“I don’t expect you too, not after what you’ve been through,” he muttered, shaking his hand for the last time. “Not after what they’ve put you through.”

What?

“I told you, Ro,” he said, his voice tiny. “These people will snuff out anything standing in their way of what they want. They will get what they want, that’s why we need to leave.”

“What are you talking about?” Finally taking his hand, he sighed in relief and helped you to your feet, but it was too late.

“Oh, good,” Yeji said, turning into the kitchen with Mina and the rest of the board, from both houses, behind her. Even Tori. Even Yunho, and Mingi. “You’ve got her, good work, Wooyoung.”

He shook his head and moved in front of you. “No, I didn’t get her, I didn’t find her. We’re leaving.” 

Hongjoong, with his hands folded in front of him, laughed. “I don’t think so.”

“Aurora,” Yeji took the attention back. Peeking at her from over Wooyoung's shoulder, you stepped to his side and tightened your grip on his hand. Tori’s tear filled eyes glanced at them, then let out a quiet cry. “Something has been brought to my attention.”

Taking in the other girls, Yuna was in shock, her hands planted to her chest. Chaeryeong and Mina though, they were smiling. Tori clamped a hand over her mouth and looked at Mingi for help. Her boyfriend could only shake his head. In disappointment? In disapproval? You weren’t sure.

“What has?” you asked, hoping to play dumb, but these girls were smarter than that. Yeji was smarter than that.

Towering in the archway, Seonghwa hung his head low, piercing you with his gaze. Jongho stood behind Hongjoong as usual, wearing some form of shock like Yuna. Then Yunho, jaw tight, eyes glassy, he couldn’t look at you.

“Not only have you broken a brand new rule that’s been set into place, you’ve also broken the trust of several members of both houses,” she took a few steps into the kitchen. “Not only that, but it’s been going on for a while. Since we’ve been back, is that right Mina?” She glanced over her shoulder and the sleek brown bob gave her a nod.

“I didn’t mean to,” you whispered, throat tightening. Grabbing onto Wooyoung's arms with your other hand, you pressed your fingers into his skin. A few recruits wandered up behind the board members, curious. “I promise, I didn’t mean to.”

“That doesn’t matter, unfortunately,” Yeji said, a ghost of a smile haunting her lips. “There are consequences.” She shifted her eyes over to Wooyoung and batted her lashes. “Wooyoung, you’re not needed any longer, you can leave.”

Your heart burst into pieces. Tears thickened, you let go of him, but he didn’t let go of you. Looking at you, Wooyoung gulped, then shook his head.

“No,” he said, and Yeji’s demeanor faltered.

“Wooyoung,” she said, her voice dripping with venom. He shot her a look and fully laced his fingers with yours.

Shaking his head again, he said, “No.” Taking a few steps forward with you, he said, “Let us through. We’re leaving.” Jongho stepped around Hongjoong, coming closer to the two of you. Wooyoung looked up at him and snickered. “Come on, man, let us through. I don’t feel like making a mess of anyone's kitchen tonight.”

“Wooyoung,” Yeji snapped. “Let her go, and leave the room.”

He half listened to her. Taking his hands off of you, he clenched his jaw and walked up to her. Entirely vulnerable before all of them, you wrapped your arms around yourself and dug your nails into your skin.

“Good job,” Yeji smiled at him. She lifted a hand to touch the bottom of his chin. “Your work here is done.”

Smacking her hand away before it could touch him, Chaeryeong gasped and Mina narrowed her eyes as Wooyoung opened his mouth. “It is, Yeji. My work here is done. I’m done playing your game. I’m done being a puppet.”

“Wooyoung,” Yeji whispered, her fists clenching at her sides. “Watch it, you know what’s going to happen.”

Looking back at you, Wooyoung shrugged. “I think it’s pretty worth it.”

“You don’t even know if she’ll want you,” Yeji said, her voice never breaking. “You’ll lose all of this,” she gestured to everyone behind her. “You could make it out of this with nothing, or, you could walk out of here with us on your side. You take your pick.”

He smiled at her. Looking at his brothers, he nodded. Hongjoong stared him down, his eyes flickering to Yeji for a few seconds. When Wooyoung turned to come back to your side, you let him take your hand. He was wearing that face again. That I care about you face.

“Wooyoung,” Hongjoong almost shouted.

“You have several other pawns to play with,” Wooyoung snapped at him. Then he looked at you. He made sure you were looking at him when he nodded. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and you couldn’t feel your knees. “I want you to believe me, but I understand if you don’t, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Last semester,” he started, and the nausea must’ve been apparent on your face because he slid a hand over your cheek as tears fell. “What you thought happened? What you think we did? Me and Yeji?” You took a shaky breath and he brushed away tears beneath your lashes. “It didn’t happen. It never happened.”

The boys in the archway whispered to one another, turning into a circle while Yeji, Chaeryeong and Mina watched them, waiting for something.

“What?” you gasped, eyes shooting open wide.

Wooyoung nodded. “It wasn’t real. It was made up, it was a lie. I never slept with her, she made it seem like we did.” Making sure you kept your eyes on him, he squeezed your hand. “Aurora, I was hurting. You were clearly in love with him, and I was watching it happen. I wanted to give you… everything. I’ve never felt like this about somebody, ever, and I barely even had you.”

There weren’t any words you could piece together to give him any sort of answer. Beside yourself, you could only coach yourself to take deep breaths.

“I fell into their game, and it was easy to do, you know what everybody thinks of me,” he said, and that hurt your heart more than it should. “I don’t understand how I’m sluttier than San, but that’s besides the point.”

“What’s the point?” you whispered.

Wooyoung took a breath. “You were supposed to be the president, Ro.” Your legs almost gave out. Moving his arms to your waist, he held onto you. “She paid them off. They wanted you. The others wanted you. When the houses came together to decide who’d move up, who’d get the spot, your name was on the list.” He gestured his head toward the archway. “They still have the fucking papers, I’ve seen them.”

“Tori,” you whispered, and Wooyoung listened. “Tori knew? Yuna?” You both lifted your heads to look their way. Chaeryeong, Mina and Yeji joined the group of boys. Tori and Yuna were against the wall, holding onto each other. They didn’t know. Your best friend pleaded with you with her eyes to believe her. Mingi moved from the group, his own eyes wide, joining his girlfriend who pushed him away.

“Ro, they wanted to get you out,” Wooyoung whispered. “I’ve been watching all of this happen since last semester. I know that makes me not a great person right now, I could’ve told you, but there was a lot at stake. A lot that I’m not afraid to risk right now, because this is ridiculous.”

“What is it? What’s going to happen?”

“He’s done, Aurora,” Hongjoong said, loud enough to cut into the bubble you and Wooyoung were creating around yourselves. “He’s out. No more ATZ for Wooyoung.”

NU home ✧ nice for what masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[hachimitsu-rofu]

Title: Random HCs Pairing: 「 Shikamaru x GN.Reader  」||「 Choji x GN.Reader 」 「 Shino x GN.Reader  」||「 Naruto x GN.Reader 」 「 Kankuro x GN.Reader 」||「 Kiba x GN.Reader 」 Plot: Some random relationship headcanons, reader is gender neutral as possible Warnings: N/A | Please notify if needed in ask format ’’’  ’’’  ’’’ Word Count: 3,087 Read Time: 11 minutes, 14 seconds ’’’  ’’’  ’’’ Author’s Note: Well I haven’t written anything in a hot moment, but here’s some headcanons I’ve had in my drafts for a while. If something needs to be tagged let me know! Anyways, please enjoy!

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「                                    Misc. HC’s                                   」

Nara, Shikamaru

☀ It’s already known he would be the best nap buddy. But you know what’s even better? Is he willingly, and I mean willingly! Stays up for you when you need him or want him to. (Although he’d much rather wrap himself in a blanket with you and call it a day.) But yeah. That five hour long play you want to go to? He’s up and paying attention the WHOLE damn time. Maybe complains a little, but he’s up! You need a study buddy? Well yeah- duh, he’s gonna help you with it. Though he will probably request a kiss here and there as payment though. Sparring partner? Also yes. Although he’ll try to end the session faster just so he can reap the reward of cuddling sooner.

☀ He is faithful but uh- he still does quite a bit of rubbernecking out in those streets. Man has eyes and he will be looking. Won’t touch the displays. So that is something if you’re wondering. He doesn’t feel very bad about it either because he doesn’t think much of it- and why should he if that’s all he’s doing. It’s not like he’s his old man who was actively partaking in his window shopping.

☀ When he first introduces you to his parents his mom is excited. Finally someone other than the Nara men she had be dealing with for so long! Not that she doesn’t love them that is. But when he sees how you and her interact he knows he made a good choice in calling you his.  Which just inflates his already giant ego more.

☀ He doesn’t talk about it, nor does his own father, but he does have a mild form of depression. It sneaks up on him and he doesn’t ever know what to do with it or himself. In fact it makes him more down trotted since he knows how to handle or do so much else. What he does know is that when he’s in this slump and you are beside him. He will have his face in your chest (even if you don’t have much), a hand interlocking fingers with you, and a quiet breath. In short you are a peace for him during the storm. Allowing him a momentary retrieve.

"Tsk.” Shikamaru was ready for the session to be over with already. He wanted to curl up into a ball with you in bed. Yet here he was, bent over the kotatsu table with you, helping you study for this irritating exam. He knew you didn’t really need his help even though you insisted on it. Glancing up with his charcoal black eyes, Shikamaru looked at you and sighed. He didn’t want to admit it, he liked that you wanted him around so bad- made him feel needed even if it was for something so benign. That small smile creeping up on his face that he didn’t even notice until he could feel the dimples form against his cheek. 

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Akimichi, Choji

☀ He would ditch spending time with Shikamaru to hang out with you if he could. Like he likes his best friend, but you? Opfh, he loves the fact you indulge in him for all that he is and could be. 

☀ Yeah sure he loves to eat and cook with you-- but do you know what else he likes to do with you? Video Games, man has bought so many co-op games just to play them with you! When you two are both able to you’ll usually end up having at least one date night that consists of all game playing! Mixed with popcorn and sodas and also a dedicated wind down movie session for when the games get too heated or you guys get burnt out. Either way you usually end it at that.

☀ He likes working with his hands. Likes being able to mess with things physically. That’s why when he finds out there’s a pottery class he takes it up and makes you some cups, plates, and little knickknacks. If you have a favorite animal he’s making it, favorite color(s) will be used as paints, like plants? Babe guess what you got a new pot! Cooking? Man be building you plates and what not.

Let him show you he loves you with whatever he can build.

☀ Please let this man do your hair. Please, oh PLEASE, let him do your hair, (If you have any that is.) You won’t be disappointed at all with the magic he can weave. Man can do all kinds of braids and styles like it’s second nature! It kind of goes along with the whole- working with his hands thing.        If you got curls (Such as 4C hair for example of this) he will give you some of the best hair care he can. When it’s time to wash out those curls, man is right there either to keep you company or to do the washing for you. He’ll wash them, dry them, and even willingly stand around for those long hours putting them into box braids. He’s committed to doing them right and does still try to be nice about it.       If you often wear scarves/hijabs he’s going to try and learn how to knot and tie them into some faux hairstyles. He thinks he almost has a faux mohawk style down- but it’s still rather messy. But he does try!       If you sport facial hair. Man is also going to help your trim and care for that too! He’ll help you scrub your face, put in that beard oil, and brush out any knots you might have! Plus he’ll help braid them to boot!       If you don’t have hair then that’s also alright. Man will instead help you with your facial routines and scalp care. (If you shave it, he doesn’t get a single nick on your head that’ s how dedicated he is!) You’ll be delighted at the care he does with putting your lotion on your face. He will sneak a kiss in though.

☀ If it’s raining he’ll try to focus on putting the umbrella on you even if you insist that he keep it on him. He doesn’t care if he gets a cold from it, he just wants you to be covered.  Besides, if he gets sick maybe you’ll take care of him. ☀ If you want to give him a treat that isn’t food related then a back massage would do best for him. You’d be surprised by how tense his muscles can get.

"AH! Y/N! Guess what!” Choji announces as he practically bursts through the front door with a bright eyed smile. Holding a delicately wrapped boxed to his side, bow and all. Only to present it to you like a child on their birthday receiving a gift themselves. “Go on! Open it! Take a look!” Practically beside himself with joy as he watches you take it from him. As if seeing you happy made him happy.

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Aburame, Shino

☀ He takes his time with introducing his partner(s) to his friends and family. He wants to be secure in knowing that whoever he’s bringing around will actually stick around. So if you meet his father in a proper introduction at home with the dinner and everything. Just know, he is very serious about you and he would hope you feel the same way too.

☀ Will usually seek you out to have lunch with you when he’s able. He likes having his meals with you so you two can talk about the recent events of the day and unwind a little before getting back to it. Although if either of you are unable to, due to schedule conflicts or what not. He’ll ultimately send one of his insects to just hang around you- with your knowledge of course. 

He finds tracking his partner without their knowledge to be quite a disrespectful thing to do. You should trust your partner after all.

☀ He isn’t the type to argue even with his petty instincts kicking in. He’ll only actively argue with you if the stakes are high and even then he’ll try his best not to let it get to him. He loves you and wants to handle things like adults.

☀ He will suggest you two do a class of some sort together! Just to have more quality time together despite any busy schedules either of you may have. Personally he’ll point out a sewing, knitting, or possibly some jewelry making. Just because that’s something you two could easily do at home as well! Not only that, if you do decide to make jewelry together you could always gift each other something to wear. Something you can keep on you to always know the other is there for you even when your thousands of miles apart.

☀ While he isn’t much for PDA (Public displays of affection) he still tries to keep a hand on you. This usually is touching the small of your back or hooking his pinky with yours. It’s stealthy and easy to hide, something that could be brushed off.  This isn’t to say he’s embarrassed of you, he just get’s flustered easily when other’s point out his soft spot. Which is you.

Sitting under the umbrella covered garden table set, Shino fixed his usually closely held sunglasses onto his face. He was just enjoying the warmth of the spring sun on his, unusually, exposed skin. Allowing you to see the traces and trails of the small almost invisible scars of his body. It almost distracted you from noticing what was in his hands. A needle and thread, looping some beads together. The beads were in a colorful array with flowers and beetles. Looking up from his creation he caught your eyes. Smirking at you from the side of his closed lips. 

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Uzumaki Naruto

☀ As we know the boy is actually good about taking care of plants! One could even say it’s a hobby of his! But what they don’t know is how many he grows just to gift to his partner. Yes, yes he grows his own favorites too. But if he knows his partner has a particular favorite- well then he is going to be growing a few bundles of them in his small apart. Just so he can have a piece of them around when they’re not available and something to gift them later when they come by. Although your smile is far more than enough of a reward for him to take in return.

☀ He’s a board game man and no one can convince me otherwise. Y’all got a closet full of them and come every Thursday night when you are both at home in the village you two will play. Sometimes you invite friends, other times it’s just you and him. It doesn’t really matter what you play together! He’s just happy to be with you.

☀ Yes, when he was younger he wasn’t the best at keeping tidy. But as he’s gotten older he’s gotten much better about it. Especially when he found out that you had a particular scent you liked to smell. It might be a little pricey but he’s going to grab the candle or the fabric softener, whatever it is.  Though admittedly the first time he does this he might have gone overboard and nearly knocked himself out from the singular smell taking up the small, cramped space. After that he tried to keep it to one thing at a time. Changes it from item to item or space to space. 

☀ Out of the Konoha boys Naruto is the best dancer. He knows how to move his body in tune with a beat. Combo that with his talk no jutsu and one could say he is a smooth criminal on that dance floor.

”Oooiii!” Blonde hair on end as he straightened his back out, arms crossed behind his head pulling his grey tee-shirt above his midriff only to fall and hide that golden trail once more. He had been sitting there on the cold hard floor. Papers scattered all over the small table before him. “Can’t we go get Ichiraku now? My eyes are about to fall out from all this stupid paper work.” He groaned, only to perk up and lean into the hand that found it’s way into his hair. Maybe it wasn’t so bad if it meant some affection.

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Kankuro

☀ Please let this man do your makeup. (If you do wear any of course. If you don’t, he’ll probably ask you at some point to let him try and put some on you. For practice reasons of course.) PLEASE. He’ll be so delighted, and chaotic, when you finally let him attempt it. 

☀ He doesn’t look it but he is the type to find a copy of your favorite book and read it. In private of course. He doesn’t let you in on the fact that he now owns a copy, that he’s read every line that he could over and over again until he memorized it completely. 

You won’t know it until he’s slipped in a line you yourself know by heart. 

☀ Will puppy dog eye you with love when you’re not looking. He doesn’t even notice it. But he falls in love with you a bit more and more the longer you’re together. He’s the guy that will realize after YEARS of being with you that he loves you. That as time has passed as you two are holding hands as you walk through the market place it suddenly hits him how much you really do mean to him.

☀ While he’s not the marrying type his life and yours would be completely enwrapped in one another’s without the legality of it all. What is his is now yours. What is yours is his. You need not worry about his loyalty as he is all yours. Now if it’s that important to you he will propose and you’ll have the whole wedding and cake and what not. But just know. He doesn't want or need some silly paper to let you or others know he’s yours and you’re his. He just needs you in his home to share the good moments, the bad, and any others you’re willing to share.         But also take note, his puppet will be in the front row somewhere.

☀ He likes to kiss the back of your neck when you sleep. A soft smile on his lips as he enjoys the feeling of you stirring underneath his hands. Something about the quiet of the room and you in his arms makes him so at peace. He can honestly say in those moments that he must’ve done something good to deserve you.

Kankuro tossed the water that pooled in his hands up and onto his face. Clearing up the debris of now shaven facial hair off with the leftover shaving cream he had applied earlier. Once down he grabbed the maroon colored hand towel, patting his face dry and further wiping anything off to ensure a clean canvas for his toxic face paint. “Hey dork! Hun’! BABY!” He shouted across the apartment to garner their attention. His head peaking out from the bathroom door frame to see them do the same from the living room. A look of bemusement written all over as his lips spread wide into a grin. “Chicken butt.” He snorted as they rolled their eyes and went back to what they were doing.

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Inuzuka, Kiba

☀ When he brought you home to officially meet his mom and sister. The man, well boy to them, tried so damn hard to tell them not to embarrass him in front of you. Practically threatened them not to do or say anything because he didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of you. They both chuckled and agreed. But what did he do when he brought you in? Tripped up over his own two feet and actually fell face first into a wet kibble bowl. Man is his own circus. But ultimately he is your clown.

☀ He’s a little insecure at times so watch out when he does get jealous. Because it’s a flip flop from being wildly accusative to wholeheartedly distant. Although if he see’s someone trying to hit on you. He’ll rush up right behind you, wrap an arm around you, and make it known that you and him are a serious thing.  He knows it’s not attractive of him to do this. He’s gotten better about it the longer your relationship has gone on. It’s just that deep unsettling gut feeling he gets that maybe you’ll up and leave him without even a single note.  Once they’re gone he becomes somber but quickly tries to pull it off by acting like the hot-headed idiot you love. He just doesn’t want to lose you.

☀ If he was a dog breed he would be a German Shepard, fierce and loyal but one of the more dramatic breeds out of the K-9 family. 

☀ He and you will be getting matching necklaces. He needs it like the ring on your finger you’ll eventually be getting. Because, one might be shocked, he actually does want to settle down. Will he force you to have a wedding? Not at all, but he will be a bit heartbroken over it.  It’s a big celebration of you two being together and officially tying your families into one after all. So if marriage isn’t for you he will at least ask you to wear a necklace of the Inuzuka clan marking.

"But babe!” The Inuzuka whined as he gripped his partner’s middle close to his face. Rubbing his nose into their clothes, catching their scent as he inhaled deeply and let out a loud disrupting huff. “Tsk,” His tongue clicked to his roof with an aggravated toss of his head onto their lap. Loosening his hold on them with a dramatic flair as he slipped onto the ground next to Akamaru. Who was none too please with his partner’s antics. “I want to go with you, what if someone tries to hit on you and whose gonna make you laugh like I do?” Kiba was being ever the silly dramatic at their friend’s night out. Not meaning any of it in a toxic manner, but more so to make his love chuckle.

════════════════════════════════════════════

[stevie-petey]

I have blurb idea for the kids in season one when you have time for it. In season one after bug left with Nancy and Jonathan the kids debriefing on what they just saw. Which is basically just the kids gossiping about what they think is going on between the three. Like Mike asked Nancy if she liked Jonathan now so clearly he saw something going on ya know?

anon i LOVE this one its always so fun writing the kids gossiping about the teens <333

enjoy !

"whats going on with your sister and jonathan, man?" lucas asks your brother as they watch you run out of the schools gym after jonathan and nancy.

dustin sighs and rests his head against the bleachers. "i dont know. theyve been weird all week."

"i think it has something to do with my sister?" mike joins in on the conversation now. "i asked nancy if she liked jonathan and then she got all weird."

"why would she like him if shes with harrington and y/n is with jonathan?" lucas frowns now, feeling suddenly defensive over you. "do we need to do something?"

mike hits his friend with the back of his head. "no, doofus. y/n doesnt need you to fight for her weird honor."

"well, i mean, maybe she does-"

dustin slaps a hand over lucas' mouth with a disgusted look on his face. "dude. your crush on my sister is showing and its gross."

lucas yanks dustins hand away and shrieks. "i do not have a crush on y/n!"

mike and dustin share a look with one another as el, who has been quiet this entire conversation as she rests, lets out a weak giggle. during her few days observing you with the party, its obvious even to her that lucas has a slight crush on you.

seeing everyones disbelief, lucas throws his hands up in the air and groans. "look, this isnt about me! clearly theres something wrong between jonathan and y/n, and if theyre fighting then that means we wont be able to get free rides out of them anymore."

"why wouldnt we get free rides if theyre fighting?" dustin asks, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"because jonathan has his own car and we'd be taking y/n's side," mike says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world with an eye roll. "duh."

your brother feels a certain happiness at the knowledge that his friends would take your side against jonathans. and, even though will isnt here right now, they all know that he would also ditch his brother in a heartbeat for you.

all the kids would.

youre a part of the party.

the boys eat the cookies that you made for them in silence for a while as they think about the strangeness between you and jonathan tonight. while theyre more than willing to defend you and take your side, they cant help but be worried about it.

theyve never seen you and jonathan so off kilter before, and it frightens them to even consider the idea that the connection between you two could be severed.

"theyll be okay, right?" lucas finally voices the worries that they all have quietly sat with.

dustin sighs, also unsure himself. hes grown up watching the two of you become intertwined with one another. now, he watches as you slowly unravel, and hes not sure how it will end. "its y/n and jonathan we're talking about. of course theyll be okay... they-they have to be okay."

"well thats depressing." mike says with yet another eye roll. "why cant we just keep y/n and replace jonathan with someone else?"

"careful, mike." lucas leans in close to the boy now and puckers his lips and makes kissing noises. "nancy could replace harrington with jonathan."

"yuck!" mike shoves his friend away and looks towards dustin for help. "that wont happen, right?"

dustin frowns. for once, he really isnt sure. he saw nancy and jonathan earlier, how they almost left you behind tonight, and he saw the hurt in your eyes when you watched them together. theres feelings there between the three of you, and dustin is afraid for you. its obvious to everyone how much you adore jonathan; your entire world revolves around the guy.

with a sigh, dustin shakes his head. "no idea, man. i dont understand teenagers."

"no one does." lucas rests his head in his hand and chews sadly on his cookie. then, with poorly hidden curiosity, he asks, "my crush on y/n isnt that obvious, right? like, she has no idea?"

mike and dustin again share a look and shake their heads at their friend while el lifts her head up. with all the energy she has left in her, she responds to lucas. "friends dont lie."

lucas covers his face in embarrassment and groans as mike, el, and dustin all break into laughter.

[luci-luck]

Earth “ponies” go first! MASSIVE autism dump comin’ atcha live

TW: ableism , grief , parental death (just in case the tags failed)

This is more so for me but I still wanted to share 🫶

Sandstone (Pinkie):

- b i g puppy energy

- Built for work but prefers to play

- Has crystal pony genes but depression makes them subdued. Can only go full crystal mode in a moment of pure and raw jubilation.

- after constantly being told who she’s supposed to be, they rejected the idea of labels entirely

- no labels for gender or sexuality means loving Pinkie does not impact your sexuality score!

- (intersex is not about gender but biological sex. That being said many intersex people use intergender as their gender as it relates to their experience as an intersex person.)

- deals with internalized ableism due to conservative fillyhood environment. Feels bad when they need to ask for help/support. Got herself an unofficial certificate in psychology so he can be his own therapist (it doesn’t work out)

- Parents would totally support the pony version of Autism Speaks just saying. Pinkie’s dad thinks neurodivergency is curable with hard work and the right attitude whilst her mom mourns the loss of her son after the diagnosis.

- ADHD makes xeir rejection sensitivity off the charts

- Internal battery runs on the company of others so can’t ever live alone.

- Had problems with food insecurity

- Relies on sugar as a steady supply of dopamine

- Can have moments of poor motor control. Clumsy

- Eyesight is bad but doesn’t wear glasses. Afraid that ponies will start thinking he is smart and they will expect even more from him. (In human world she wears contacts)

- Feels embarrassed being high support needs and just wants to be treated like everybody else. Hates when xer parents call her “special”

- Also hates being infantilized but is not confident in their decision making

- Xe is a sensory seeker unlike the rest of their family who are all sensory avoiders. Sisters compromise and try to meet his needs. Pinkie in turn tries to be mindful of their touch aversion but finds it hard sometimes. “Everypony’s just so scoop-able!”

- Trained Gummy to “stay”. Is very proud of his emotional support gator

Applejack:

- Is incredibly strong for her size

- feels like she has to constantly prove herself worthy of taking over the farm. Has gotten into arguments with Big Mac about overexerting herself

- Is a hinny (donkey mom and stallion dad) (ofc hinnies are supposed to have tails more like horse but I love the lion tail on AJ so 💁‍♀️) (I said mule in ALT text because most people don’t know what a hinny is)

- Because of this, she is more calm under pressure and thinks more logically

- has major depression from grief and ptsd (duh)

- Isn’t used to being in a stress free environment so she creates the stress

- Likes running the apple stand but certain families trigger her

- Obsessed with anything from the past generation. A time when her parents were young and happy

- Can be a bit insensitive to other’s problems and wants them to “put on their big girl pants” like she had to.

- Feels like she has to fill in the roles her parents used to do. Especially so Applebloom and Granny don’t have to stress over as many things.

- Was in the process of cutting her mane when she remembered that AB liked to braid it so she stopped half way.

- Is the mom of the friend group. Makes sure everyone’s needs are met before tending to her own. (Which is bad btw)

- Has problems with insomnia but getting better.

- Struggles with OCD and will repeat unnecessary tasks if she believes it will help protect her family

- Has an emotional support dog named Winona who also reminds AJ to take breaks 🐕‍🦺

- Sees no point in getting her chronic pain checked out. Will hopefully change her mind in the future. Wears leg braces to ease the soreness.

- Got diagnosed later on. Grief masked her autistic traits.

- Also has a hard time asking for help but has gotten better after she found out that Applebloom has been internalizing that mindset. She must lead by example

- Stick around long enough and she’ll happily invite you over with a hot cup of cider 🍺

- (Other people tend to fall in love while getting to know someone. Demiromantics however need to get to know the person first and then develop romantic feelings later)

- Thought she wasn’t capable of developing crushes until she got to know Coloratura.

[bluginkgo]

Depression is hitting hard, but you know what hits harder? Eternal Dream with the context of ep7

I kid you not, I was doing regular chores and brain said "Hey, pssst, eternal dream is HELLA depressing now."

...

BRAIN I DID NOT NEED THAT-

So here's me dissecting Eternal Dream yet again but with images from ep7 just to cope ;w;

Spoilers duh

(indicate my thoughts/ramble/not part of the lyrics)

I am tired of this dream Will it ever end for me?

(Betrayal after betrayal, the general tiredness of being let down over and over)

I don't have the will to know... Can you help me see?

(This verse remains a bit up in the air for me, as it always has been. I'll try a jab at it though. This is Uzi asking for help. She's tired of the horrors, the secrets, and betrayals. She needs someone else to help her see that this is not a waste of time. She needs N to help her see that there is going to be someone to encourage her.)

Let my body keep you warm Let my essence be your breeze

(So, technically, these images are rather hard to connect. But going with "Let my essence be your breeze" everything that N does in the fighting scene is to get Uzi to return to herself. Her entire being and personality is what is driving N to fight so hard. And in turn her "essence" becomes his "breeze" and will to fight back in situations that seem hopeless.)

Can you hear me calling? Please look out for me

(And he does, despite fighting to the death, he still continues to look after her TwT)

Can you set me free? Will you take my soul away?

(I keep going back and forth on this one. But the more positive one would be if N could set Uzi free from the Absolute Solver, like he has done in ep4 and helped in ep7.)

Casting me in cold Bury me in bones Rest eternally

("Bury me in bones" was first made me think of even doing this silly thing 😅 Because Uzi is literally going to be buried in the grave of Absolute Solver cores and humans that the solver snagged during the core collapse.)

Will you take me home? Can we see the moon again?

(I'm mostly pulling on the moons because they're seen in the background. This can be taken also as a way of asking to go back to the old times. To the times when none of this happened before.)

Dancing in the dark

(Hey, I know I've overused this, but I still can't stop thinking that this was a nod back to ep3. Their entire fight seems like a dance... a brutal, angst-filled, dance ;w;)

'Till we fall apart

(You know, I WAS THE ONE THAT FELL APART TwT. In all seriousness, they did fall apart. Fell/forced apart by the events of ep7.)

I can't end this dream

(This is not the end. Despite being ready and accepting of death, I- personally, so feel free to yeet this into the void- believe her job is not done. She still has something else to settle. And this dream will not end until Uzi finishes that job.)

Does this make any sense? I reckon not. But I needed Eternal Dream out of my head, and this is the only way I could think of getting rid of it ;w;

[destinygoldenstar]

“Feeling like you’re nothing is… kinda normal. If people even feel like that in the world I came from.”

TW: DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE

So this line specifically has been on my mind.

Obviously Pomni does not outright say she’s depressed. But she doesn’t need to. The show trusts us to pick it up for ourselves.

At first I thought it was just trauma, because… DUH. WHAT HAPPENED.

She experiences nightmares, she has zone outs, she closes herself off from her peers, panic attacks, etc. All pretty real responses to a traumatic event.

BUT THEN WE HAVE THIS LINE.

Now, I wouldn’t think too much of it if she said “In the world I COME from.” Present tense. So that would indicate she’s talking about the circus.

But she uses PAST TENSE here.

“In the world I CAME from.”

So she’s not talking about the circus.

We know she’s not because we know she was once a human in the real world.

Gooseworx confirmed that the Digital Circus characters DO remember their past lives, just not the key identify-defining details like their names. Which makes sense cause, well, if they had full amnesia they wouldn’t know they came from anywhere else at all.

So this implies she’s talking about her life in the real world before this.

So this may indicate that in the real world, human Pomni had anxiety & depression.

A theory someone else said, but I liked and could see being possible, was that each Digital Circus character represents certain mental illnesses. (My idea: Pomni - Generalized Anxiety & Major Depression Disorder, Ragatha - Separation Anxiety Disorder, Jax - Sociopathy, Kinger - Schizophrenia, Gangle - Bipolar Disorder, Zooble - Dysphoria) While it is questionable for some characters whether they experienced these in the real world or they gained them in the circus (Kinger is probably one of the latter’s case), considering Pomni’s new to the circus, it’s easy to assume the former. You don’t develop these mental problems overnight.

So here’s my theory: Human Pomni was an accountant at C&A, and got her hands on the information of the Digital Circus. As in, she knew EXACTLY what it would do to her…

…but she put the headset on anyway as an act of suicide.

This could be proven wrong in a future episode, but that is my belief on what happened to her. Would also explain how she had a vague idea on how the video game’s outside maps worked.

BUT, you may be asking, “If Pomni knew and did it as sudoku, why would she want to leave immediately?”

Survival reflex. (And I’m partially thinking about that Bojack Horseman speech at the penultimate episode of that show. You know the one.) It IS a thing for someone to attempt suicide, and then change their mind on it pretty quickly, whether it be the pain that came with it, or the fear of death. And this is in both cases whether the attempted succeeds or fails at the deed.

So the beginning of the show could be Pomni’s brain, scattered as it is, experiencing just that.

“Wait a minute. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to end it. I have to stop myself!”

But it’s too late.

She made her choice. She didn’t want to be ‘her’ anymore.

So she put the headset on.

She did the act.

There’s nothing she can do about it.

And since she TECHNICALLY isn’t dead, this is her processing her own existence, old and new, and what to do with it now.

THAT’s another reason why she has that nightmare about abstracting. Which could easily be seen as ‘mental suicide.’

A horrifying image on the outside. And on the inside, an image that’s far too real for her.

But she doesn’t have to have that be her fate.

There are people to help her and there are people that WOULD care if she dies.

Her story is about fighting the worst thoughts known to mankind and come out of that fight as a more emotionally realized person. As someone who wants to live. As someone who ISN’T nothing.

(This is a theory. Is open to be wrong.)

[bunniekittiee]

(MK1) Bi-Han Headcanons

I was listening to Jar of Flies and it came into my head that I never did separate Bi-Han headcanons about himself. So this is what I think he would be like. This is also very music-based but yk its all good.

Bi-Han is known as the goth man of Mortal Kombat because of Noob but I think he would be a bit more grungey.

He loved dark and haunting music even before he became a wraith.

Alice In Chains was his first listen to Earthrealm music as he had never interacted with it before. Johnny had to tell him about them.

“I think it’s up your alley.” Johnny told him as he handed him a CD player with a few CDs.

Bi-Han did not trust his judgement at first and even put it off for a little bit, but he soon regretted putting it off as soon as he listened to Jar of Flies.

Absolutely loved AIC after this.

Related Jar of Flies to his own trauma with losing his mother and his father’s harsh treatment.

That’s another can of worms that cannot be opened in great detail today.

Would also like Narrow Head, Superheaven (duh i headcanon every character to like them), Mareux, Basement, Nine Inch Nails, but that’s just to name a few.

Associates “Hole in the Ground” by Superheaven with Kuai Liang and tries to not listen to it too much.

This is much worse after his betrayal. Bi-Han hardly touches the song after because of this.

It would only make him feel horrible and guilty.

Also associates “Necrosis” by Narrow Head with his father because of his hurtful treatment as a kid.

Bi-Han was trained a pushed a lot harder than Kuai Liang and even Tomas who was not their blood kin, so Bi-Han held a lot of resentment for his father.

He treated Tomas more like a son than he did Bi-Han.

Bi-Han wondered if this was so he could become a tough Grandmaster, and that’s how he reasoned it in his head, but it still messed with him.

When he lost his mother, it was devastating. She was the only one who supported him and took care of him after suffering from bouts of hypothermia from his father testing his might in the Arctika.

She was there for everything and always made sure Bi-Han was well.

When she passed, he did not have that support system anymore. That is when he knew it was time to become a man and move on.

He never moved on, but he did become a man.

His exterior was already cold, but it became much more worse after the death of his mother.

That is the Bi-Han we know today.

He never held much warmth despite his brothers telling him he should.

He hardly wanted to give his father a funeral, but he knew he could not go in that direction. He needed to honor him despite his dishonorable acts against the Lin Kuei.

He was a weak, senile Grandmaster. He was not fit to rule.

But Bi-Han was, he was ready to reform the clan and change the weaker policies his father implemented after the death of his mother.

Kuai Liang always tried to reason with Bi-Han, but he never changed his mind. Once Bi-Han was set, he was ready.

It didn’t matter what Kuai said or did, Bi-Han would never budge.

He was very stubborn to the dismay of his brothers.

Late at night if Bi-Han could not sleep, he would listen to music to help him.

Bi-Han could not sleep well because of the creeping thoughts of his childhood/adulthood that caused him great pain.

It often seeped into his dreams which caused him to not be able to go back to sleep.

That’s why he looks so tired, he just has a hard time sleeping. His mind is too occupied and the gears are always turning about.

“Blank” by Glare also makes Bi-Han reflect on his life. He listens to that when he can’t sleep.

Sometimes, it’s able to lull him to sleep.

Tomas and Kuai do worry about Bi-Han.Tomas suspects that Bi-Han is depressed, maybe anxiety-ridden.

But they’ll never know. Bi-Han is super against vulnerability and he hates to feel that way.

He also does not like to be forced to talk about his feelings or what’s bothering him. It makes him feel like he’s trapped in a corner like a wild animal.

After Bi-Han’s betrayal, Sektor and Cyrax are the ‘replacements’ for his siblings.

But they never are interested in what Bi-Han’s mental stability is. They are not that close to be aquatinted like that.

All they care about is having a Grandmaster that is ready to conquer and give them orders. They are warriors, they are ready for anything Bi-Han throws their way.

When Bi-Han was younger, his father did everything to make his life difficult. This lead to Bi-Han being very angry often.

He trained alone in the temple, his knuckles bloody from the amount of punching he did. His knuckles would be raw and cut open badly.

His mother would coax him away from the training room to let her wrap his hands up. She did this very often as Bi-Han was the main target of his father’s wrath.

He hardly cried in front of her, but every once in a while he broke. But she picked up his pieces.

Bi-Han loved his mother greatly, her death pained him the most out of everyone.

So when he looks in the mirror, all he sees reflecting back at him is his mother.

Her eyes, her facial features, her caring demeanor.

But Bi-Han was hardened, extremely rough around the edges.

He could never be as caring and loving like her. It wasn’t in his DNA to be that way. That was more Kuai Liang’s personality.

Sometimes if he stared for too long, he would see her in the mirror. But only for a mere moment.

He blamed it on lack of sleep and never told anyone.

Bi-Han is extremely troubled, and he requires a lot of patience and understanding. He will not open up right away to anyone.

[yonfiendmaker]

Hazbin Hotel headcanons sorted by character

Charlie:

favorite color is "rainbow" (real answer is red)

autism, ocd, npd, codependent personality disorder

tail sometimes manifests solely for stimming purposes

growls when very excited like a dog

very keen sense of smell

horns manifest when turned on (something something horny)

in case this gets disproven im listing it here: her legs are furred

manifested her wings once around vaggie near the beginning of her relationship and it upset her, never did it again

can walk up 45° angle walls (goat hooves lol)

Vaggie:

hair is actually feathers

depression, gad, ptsd, bpd (charlie is her fp obv)

retractable claws that are naturally black

teeth are all flat, fangs only come out when angry

the scars from her initial casting from heaven remained even after she regained her wings

when regaining her wings she also got feathers that cover her chest and upper back

died via suicide and was drafted into the exorcist army simply because adam found her attractive and was completely surprised when she was able to learn to fight easily and quickly

her gloves and socks are to cover up self harm scars

feet are like a moth's, like angel she is self conscious about them

wings do not disappear or retract, they simply fold under her hair

will misjudge distance/placement of things due to lack of depth perception. extremely embarrassed when it happens

its difficult for her to read things from a distance, charlie will often read things to her

her and angel dust are exes, has lingering feelings which is part of the cause of her hostility towards him

coos like a pigeon when relaxed/content

Angel Dust:

homoflexible

depression, adhd, hypersexual (ofc)

any pronouns user

says he's cis but genuinely doesn't care what he's called

qpps with cherri bomb

random nosebleeds due to drug overuse

charlie will call him anthony when she's mad at him like a parent using your full name

his venom causes an intense high and multiple demons have drugged him so they can uhm. well the scientific term for getting venom from a spider is milking but im not saying it

very fidgety and feels anxious if he's not moving at all times

Sir Pentious:

had an interdental lisp and was a snake oil salesman in life, hence his snakelike appearance

pansexual

autistim, npd

tail is more eel-like than snake-like

as an angel, his hood doubles as wings; in his full angel form he gets additional pairs of wings and more eyes along his tail

buries every egg boi he loses

venomous bite that causes delirium and sometimes temporary paralysis

sheds his skin and leaves the empty skins around the hotel, doesn't realize it until he hears charlie scream upon finding it

his hat is in fact sentient but is an extension of him and can change forms (as opposed to all the hats he's shown wearing being individual headpieces)

Alastor:

deer tail .

acearo in the sense that he does not get pleasure from sex but rather from tormenting/torturing others

hated his ears and antlers at first, similar to husk he's accepted them but still doesn't like them

if you touch either he will launch you into the sky

ONLY wears all red

qpps with rosie

vox is his ex, he's long moved on but vox hasn't

his hands have claw fingers those are NOT gloves Fuck You

has hooves but his legs are not digitgrade like charlie's

he can feel and hear through his microphone

Husk:

depression, alcoholic (duh), bpd, ptsd

either hated cats or had a pet cat when he was alive that he killed while drunk

either way his discomfort with his demon form is obvious

full demon form is quadruped

acute senses except for sight

pretty much always at least tipsy

tail usually drags on the floor

really wants to perform his magic tricks to the hotel patrons but is afraid of being mocked

Niffty:

died eitherfrom mixing chemicals in a closed room or climbing into the chimney to clean it and ended up getting stuck

was a maid in life, probably killed someone but was able to dispose of the body so well she never got caught

heteroflexible

still thinks angel dust is a woman cause he never corrects her

[wilbiegxlibi]

My cccc doods [VCR] story summed up :3

Its called vcr because im silly and I like it :3

In their little narrative Remus [mind] was made first and has been in charge the longest with Vinny (heart) and Cynical {soul} giving their opinions at the council. It's not working out the best because Remus is too anxious to handle that much by themselves and never asks for help but they're coping and pretending enough that the other two don't really notice or care.

Vinny and Remus are constantly arguing, Cynical just wants a "normal fucking family" for once, no one listens to Cynical because he's the sucky bastard middle child. He gets really depressed, they all hate each other but they're living considerably all right.

That is until external stimuli (quarantine) sends all of them into panic mode. shits goin insane, everyone's going insane. Vinny and Remus are arguing about EVERYTHING and Cynical and Vinny shit talk him and Cynical convinces Vinny that Remus is a bitch and needs to be knocked out of power because he's not good for Whole etc etc. Vinny agrees cause Remus is an asshole, but when they go to make him step down Cynical takes out alllll of his insecurities and lack of power or control on Remus and tries to KILL him. ((NOT PART OF THE PLAN!!!)) so Cynical beats the shit out of Remus and stabs him and shit [Dubbed the viewfinder incident because he's cutting him out of view.] and ends up bleeding and shit cause no duh he's injured. But Vinny and Cynical have never seen him injured before, because they thought he was invincible and all high and mighty! and because Vinny gets scared and doesn't help Cynical he's only able to wound Remus super bad and as extra measure he throws him into the PIT. Cynical is a bit pissed that Vinny didn't help him MURDER HIS OLDER BROTHER but whatever. Vinny's like holy shit dude you just fucking holy shit holy shit Cynical's in charge now. He parties and has a great fucking time while Vinny's freaking out because he just wanted to shift the dynamics a little bit and now Remus is GONE and "(oh gee whilickers this is bad)" Cynical tells him to lighten the fuck up, and whole starts getting REALLLLLLY UNHEALTHY. Cynical is not good at running the show, he's incompetent, and refuses to acknowledge any of it/doesn't realize how bad he is at it and genuinely thinks he's the best for them. he overindulges, and even though Vinny's supposed to be assisting him he just shoves him off and does everything himself. Vinny realizes there is a problem, and goes to find Remus for advice/assistance since Remus is his older brother and he looks up to him for what to do since he's always been in charge. he gets to the PIT and Remus is still FUCKKKKKEDDD UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Vinny is freaking the fuck out again because he's never seen Remus injured like this before and is losing his shit that he hasn't somehow healed super quickly or something because he literally views him as superhuman. Remus finally fucking admits that he's not okay and that he's not perfect and that he needs help, and Vinny helps him. They get Remus all patched up, and taken care of and Vinny sits with Remus for a bit and comforts him and they talk until-

UNTIL Cynical notices he's gone. *ominous drone* oh shit moment CYNICAL IS FREAKKKING THE FUCKKKK OUT he looks for Vinny everywhere and he's been neglecting him this whole time and oh shit little brother gone little brother gone. he checks the pit and Vinny's there with Remus. Now he's not worried anymore, he's PISSSEDDDD. He views this as a betrayal, and as Vinny not being there when HE needed him, and {{WHY ARE YOU EVEN HELPING HIM, HE DOESNT WANT/NEED YOUR HELP. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN BETTER THAN US AND HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. I NEEDED YOU MORE THAN HE DID AND YOU WEREN'T THERE}} yada yada yada

Vinny's like "woa dude I care about both of you" cynical tries to make him CHOOSE. Remus steps in he's like "hey dude it's not that big of a deal he was just helping me-". Cynical tells him to shut the fuck up, and starts trying to beat him up again cause he's mad, Vinny protects Remus. cynical turns on Vinny instead. This is when the thing dubbed the PURBLIND occurs.

Cynical goes into a fit of rage and ends up gouging Vinny's eye out, and throws him down and leaves him in the PIT as well. He feels slightly bad after it but he's honestly too caught up into his bs now to do anything about it. Remus fucking hates him now because he doesn't care too much about himself but Cynical hurt Vinny and that was the last straw for him.

While they're in the PIT together Remus takes care of Vinny cause holy shit Cynical just poked his eye out. They're getting along after a long time and finally bridge the older younger brother gap and form a tight bond with one another. Vinny's too scared to go back and they sit in the pit together for a while and comfort one another.

MEANWHILE CYNICAL'S GOING FUCKING MAD THINGS ARE NOTTTTT GOOD WHOLE IS PLUNGED INTO DEPRESSION AND CYNICISM {wow wow suprise surprise} AND MAAAAAAAAAAAAAYBE A LITTLE BIT OF UNHEALTHY LISTERINE DRINKING AND A LOT OF SUICIDAL TENDANCIES....

CYNICAL FUCKING SUCKSS AT DOING THIS ALONE AND HE'S TOOO DAMN FAR IN TO ADMIT OR CARE AT THIS POINT HE'S HELLBENT ON EITHER FUCKING AROUND AND FINDING OUT, OR CRASHING THE CAR AND TAKING EVERRRYONE DOWN WITH HIM

Vinny and Remus form a plan, and decide that they need to get cynical away from whole and talk him down, they decide to go for him together and with a combined effort they end up restraining him, locking him up in a cage, and they give him HIS turn in the pit.

Cynical has a whole "oh damn" arc while he watches Vinny and Remus recover, and whole start to heal. He's no longer under the pressure of being in charge and realizes that maybe it isn't good for him to have that much power.

At the same time Remus asks for help from Vinny and even those two can't seem to handle all of it by themselves, and they start to really miss cynical and get really sad about it.

So after like a year of all of them sitting and Cynical cooling down, they go and get him, everyone apologizes, everyone makes up, Vinny makes tea, Remus draws drawings, and they start trying to get along again and it works!!

:D they have more of an inside out control method now and it's a good system and they check and balance each other and woohoo!

They all sing welcome to tally hall (can I get a c) and hold hands and dance around in a circle or square or triangle or whatever.

And that is the end for now :3

[mors-neptune]

707 / Luciel / Saeyoung Choi Headcanons I Have

‼️⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️‼️

• Has ADHD but if anyone brings it up he brushes it off because he thinks it makes him lesser. He’s not ableist he just needs to be educated :(

• I know in the official art he’s pretty pale but I hc him as having tanner skin and some freckles

• Has an undiagnosed personality disorder probably

• Too paranoid to go to church in person so he made a personal shrine in his home that he makes sure to spend time at

• Hates seeing his father on TV because it reminds him how similar they look. He’ll go into a weeks long depression every time where he’ll avoid mirrors because all he sees is his mother and father

• Loves cross dressing but is too scared to think deeply and self reflect about the gender euphoria it gives him because Korea isn’t very accepting

• Hated college because he felt like it was too structured and he doesn’t like being told what to do

• His favorite color is red (obviously)

• Doesn’t want or have any tattoos

• Most of the decor in his house was handmade impulsively and placed somewhere random

• Ultimately wants to move out of the bunker and into a more realistic house with no sci-fi-like doorbells or weapons but his paranoia stops him

• Sometimes stays up till the morning watching security cams in and around the bunker out of fear someone will try and hurt Saeran or MC

• Loves the dopamine hit that buying new cars gives him. It’s almost addicting impulse buying expensive things

• Desperately needs someone to match his neurodivergentness and thankfully his twin brother does perfectly

• His glasses are constantly dirty he never cleans those mfs

• Likes to paint his nails black but it’s always cracked and messed up

• Him and Saeran made up a secret language that they refuse to teach anyone else, even MC

• Welded flowers and spray painted them for him and MC’s anniversary (Saeran told him which flowers to make bc he knows their meanings)

• MC’s engagement ring is a Ruby (to represent Saeyoung) and whatever stone is MC’s favorite swirling together to look like a binary star system

• We know in his route that he has muscles because of his work, but after he runs from the agency, MC noticed some of his bulkiness going away

• But he still keeps a lot of his muscle, he just has some more squishiness around his torso

• Regrets his bunker not having windows because he knows Saeran loves looking at the sky

• Builds a garden in his backyard for Saeran :)

• Too paranoid to get a therapist so one of his more toxic traits is using MC as a therapist

• Goes through periods of not sharing anything emotionally with MC & sharing way too much and borderline dumping all his shit on them

• Has bad abandonment issues

• Loves experimenting with makeup and showing Saeran and MC

• Has both an inferiority and superiority complex

• Owns an obsessive amount of stuffed animals and yes, they all have names

• Idk if this is canon or not but he has curly hair

• I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this already but I hc him as bisexual (he literally mentioned at some point that V’s voice was his type)

• And since it’s basically canon he at least finds V attractive and V is more of a parental/guardian figure to him, I can conclude Saeyoung 100% has daddy issues (duh)

• Has had feelings for Vanderwood at some point

• Horrible at personal hygiene

• Doesn’t drink or do drugs (canon)

• He’s a compulsive liar :/

• Wants a cat but is so bad at taking care of himself he doesn’t trust himself taking care of an animal

• Has staff constellation, and planet stickers & posters all over his room (he’s a nerd)

• Learns sign language so when he’s mad at MC or Saeran he only communicates through sign to piss them off

• Wayyyyyyy too comfy invading people’s personal and cyber privacy because of his line of work

• Lactose intolerant because I think it’s funny

• Light sleeper because of the house he grew up in and his work at the agency

• Kind of apathetic to traumatic things other people go through if it wasn’t as “bad” as his. Not in a “I think I’m better than you” kind of way, but in a way where some issues just don’t compare to an abusive, alcoholic mother, a politician father who wants to kill him, being a secret agent made to do who knows what, and more.

• Catches up on childhood by indulging in childish hobbies and interests. He’s making up for the lost time :(

• His tummy always hurts from his horrible diet

• His cologne smells like apple spice (it’s actually a perfume for women but who cares)

• But tbh on the daily he smells like a mix of his basic masculine body wash, honey buddah chips, and grease (sorry)

• Very protective. Takes on a caretaker role for those closest to him

• Sometimes very controlling. Gets anxious when he can’t control everything around him.

• Acts very parental towards Saeran. He always did because he had to in their childhood, but Saeyoing still does it. It makes him feel good being able to properly provide for Saeran.

• He mentioned in his route that he never really wanted or thought about having a family other than Saeran, and I feel like he would still think the same after meeting MC. Just now he thinks of his family as just him, Saeran, and MC. I don’t think he’d want kids

• Literally never cleans his sheets…

• Can only convince himself to clean anything in his house because he doesn’t want Saeran to have to live in filth again

My first post. I just wanted to share these :)

[breannasfluff]

Im so hopeful that someone will notice that Danny is being hurt by his parents and steps in (please mr lancer) but also so afraid that no one does and that the only way for him to get out is to try and commit suicide (or just stay as a ghost full time and dont go back home anymore), run away (not as likely with what you've written so far) or to leave once he turns 18 (or his parents throw him out because he doesn't follow their rules and since he's no longer a minor his parents don't have to house him anymore)

Don't worry, there will be an eventual happy ending! It sucks at the start, but people do start to notice...just maybe not the expected ones ;)

Without that support, Danny's story would go a very different (and depressing) way. I don't know if people realize how deeply entrenched someone gaslit can be. It's like the frog in the pot of water....by the time it's boiling, the frog thinks it's normal.

As an outsider, we can look at it like duh, Danny should speak up. But for him in that situation? It's just not going to happen.

[sailorgundam308]

Being the angst sucker that I am (but also a coward that doesn’t want to feel too depressed about bad endings), I headcanon a lot about the dynamics and end/post game canons for Astarion and Karlach as a couple (no shit!).

I know a lot of people ship Karlach with Dammon. I obviously don’t, but not because I think they don’t fit well together or whatever. I have this thing in my head of how I view Karlach which puts her relationship with Astarion as more realistic, more fulfilling, and more attractive to me (duh).

Dammon as a character is a nice, hard working guy. He’s also crazy handsome, has the hots for Karlach and some mechanics knowledge to be able to help her a bit. So yea, cool. I like him a lot so that’s not it.

BUT.

Just gonna blurt it out: I think Karlach is too fucked up to be with him in the canon universe we have. It’s a similar reason I have for how I see her reaction to the love test in the Circus in Act 3, which I made a post about. Had Karlach never been betrayed by Gortash, had not been irreversibly damaged (in more ways than one) and not been transformed by her 10 years ordeal, Dammon would be the ‘perfect pairing’ for her - a gentle, good hearted, generous and hot piece of ass. Thumbs up.

HOWEVER.

She’s not that girl anymore. She keeps it bottled up, pushes it down and shuts herself to what her trauma did to her and while it’s commendable, imo, it’s not real. She wants it to be so bad because she’s got so little time and is desperately clinging to her life before she started making mistakes (now being back in the Material Plane after so long). If she doesn’t die, though, she won’t keep this up forever. She’s carrying pain, remorse, ANGER, jealousy, self pity. A LOT of it. Much more than she let out in her post-Gortash breakdown. All these are very human emotions, and very understandable in her situation. She also changed, physically, mentally, emotionally. She grew, she learned- and it wasn’t all pretty and nice things. I like the idea that she’s being the most genuine character in the game while ALSO being the one wearing the most impenetrable mask. It’s wild and damn cool to see her through that lens.

Which brings me to Astarion.

He is also wearing a mask, but a much more frail one. He’s cracked. He tells and shows us these ugly emotions, his selfishness and hurt, much more directly than Karlach does. He’s broken, wicked, mean. It’s clear his trauma completely changed him (though I don’t think he was a good guy before it either), and is entrenched into who he is when we meet him - and will continue to be part of him even after he heals.

I think Karlach is attracted to him not in spite of how mean he is - but because of it. I don’t think she’s aware of it, though. She says something about Astarion having a good heart beneath it all - and while he might have something like a better heart inside that can be rescued, he’s not inherently good, nor he was before being turned (nor he wants to be). The dynamic of Karlach using goodness and positivity as a lifeline, as if to counter the decade of (literally) pure evil she’s been forced to endure, while also ‘surprisingly’ getting along so well with Astarion from the start, also being attracted to his wickedness, gives an incredible depth to their relationship. I see not only the idea of Karlach’s kindness, non-judgement and patience being a refuge for Astarion, but Astarion’s grey personality being a refuge where Karlach will be able to let her walls down - show the ugliness bottled up inside - without fear or shame, and knowing it will be completely and utterly understood. Astarion will never judge her for whatever impulses or thoughts she might have, for displays of selfishness, jealousy or violence. Imo, they can even work some of those out together (wink wink, but not only in that way lol). At the same time, I do believe Astarion saw from the first glance he had at Karlach (or in the first couple of days) that she carried a pain much like his. It’s why he respects her, why he is so quick to apologize to her and only to her, why he feels empathy for her suffering while being absolutely cold to the others. She’s the first one who gives him the opportunity of allowing himself to feel safe, to let his guard down if only for a night. His connection with her might be based on a selfish start (it’s about him - she is like him), but it grows to be more complex as they grow closer. I see him slowly falling in love with her as a parallel to him slowly learning to love himself, to forgive himself.

It’s all so beautiful, poetic and layered and shit (wow, me so eloquent).

But in all honesty, that’s all to say, while I think Karlach and Dammon look nice together, I see him as being the person who’d have been the one for her if she was just Karlach Cliffgate. However, she is not. She is Karlach Cliffgate and she is also Karlach Demonsbane - and for that ‘her’, Astarion - with his imperfections, his wicked ways and his darkness - is the one who truly fits her perfectly (or imperfectly, which imo is even better).

Thank you for reading all this rambling. I love rambling and will (can) never stop so good for you :V

AGH I LOVE bittersweet gritty messy romanceeeeeeee (but I wanna give them a better ending than the one in game - though if the patches weren’t broken, it’s improved a bit already)