#because he genuinely wants to be a good brother to gaz here

[anonymoosen]

idk if anyone else had this idea but— what if Dib’s shirt ghost is actually the emotional side of him?

And one day the shirt ghost escapes, dooming Dib of revealing his true feelings to people :3

EDIT: THERES A PART 2 NOW :D

[halfadoginatank]

Simon and his father take a trip to the Scottish highlands for the summer, he knows only one of them will leave.

Johnny is a boy obsessed with filming explosions from fireworks he's not supposed to have.

Los Vaqueros are a group of Mexican teens derailed from their field trip waiting for teachers that might not come back.

Huge lore and plot dump below.

Mild tw for Simons father

Simons father has always taken him on hunting trips, sometimes he hated them, some times he liked them. But he'd never taken him this far from manchester. There are weapons in the cabin they rent, his father is eerily sober, one of them is going to die out here. Simon can only hope that Tommy won't be next.

Johnny meets him when he strays too far from his father. Part of it on purpose, he would never be on equal footing, more so when his father had the rifle and not him. He's in the tree's, at first simon thinks its prey, but there's a camera lense staring right at his scope.

Los Vaqueros come later, the leader arguing with a girl with choppy hair, Valeria and Alejandro trade glares while Rodolfo tries to mediate. Their bus broke down, leaving them stuck in town desperately renting a cabin near but far from the one simon is in.

It's the most interesting thing thats happened to johnny, and in the makeshift bonfire Valeria corners him and Simon. Her gaze is snakelike and a ring clinks on the bottle she's holding

"You say that he's an asshole yes? Your padre. Mine was the same, en mi opinión? It is kill or be killed."

Valeria nods at Alejandro, she tells them of a faceless force where she's from. The person sponsoring the trip for them, 'good will'. The five of them band together, the rest of the Vaqueros utterly ignorant.

Simon will save his family, Alejandro will get them home, and johnny? He's going to make the best home video.

-

Yeah so thats the whole plot, originally it was just going to be ghoap but somehow the Vaqueros fell into place. It kind of made more sense to have Valeria give them the idea? She doesnt have a whole bunch of canon lore so I figured she'd have an in with the cartel via her father, who was awful. And when Valeria killed him the nameless helped her cover it up and she got her own little spot.

Alejandro broke off their relationship after that, it's why they're on bad terms. He formed the Vaqueros as a funny joke that he started to take seriously when kids around Las Almas genuinely needed help that wasnt someway connected to the cartel, adults had that with rudys mother, so Ale and his childhood friend Rudy decided to help people their age in a way that doesn't rely on adults too much.

Everyone here is about 16-18. Soap is 17, ghost is as well but a few months older. Rudy Alejandro and Valeria are 18. And the youngest cowboy is 16.

Im trying to fit Gaz and Alex in? Im thinking that they both live in Texas, Gazs parents had a falling out since mum was from Texas hes there. Their school is on the same trip in the same bus a sort of cross trip to help the shitty american public school get a better name, as well as the cartels big PR move with having a class from one of Las Almas' schools.

Johnny is a bit weird here, but his motivation is he's suffering from extreme middle kid issues. Loves his family but since he's almost invisible is able to just kinda run off as long as hes back home eventually. He has a camera he uses to film any of his mishaps with, its essentially just jackass. As well as a video diary. Dont be fooled, its also an excuse for me to write some of it in script like format.

Simon is almost exactly the same as he is in the 09 comics, obviously a bit different. But childhood is the same.

I wanted farah to be here so bad but her childhood is literally a warzone and theres no way I can get her and her brother in Scotland. Because im trying so hard to make this somewhat believable, like yes its is a summer mystery horror au. But god I just really need things to make a little sense otherwise I cant do it. Same with Price Nik and Laswell. Like I could group Laswell in with Alex and gaz, and maybe I could pair her with Valeria for funsies. However Nikolai is in russia so... oopsie, and price? Like... how do you turn price into a teenager, he'd be what 19 or 20? Theres no reason he'd be in school, I dont think he'd be held back.

Also you may wonder, why is graves not here? Uh.... because I dont care, he wouldn't have a place here. The antagonist is Simons father, and honestly man? I just dont care that much for his character.

Man theres... theres so much I have here dude, I want to throw roach in there, and I THINK I could squeeze him in as one of ghosts school mates but the point is the first act has Simon completely isolated.

Anyway thats it. Bye.

[the-owl-house-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/the-owl-house-takes/730631319449632768/when-i-made-the-comparisons-to-atla-and-toh-i?source=share

I'm assuming this is directed at me, the anon with the long asks. Here's the thing. There is a difference between critiquing Willows design from the angle of "Dana said she's blasian and she doesn't look it" because that is a perfectly valid criticism. What isn't is "Oh gee, the character design didn't convey what was intended, I guess it's racism on the part of the creator (did Dana even personally do Willow's finalized design, I genuinely don't know)" there are things out there that are racist and character design that doesn't clearly convey the intended race of the character is not racist. It's bad representation if that was the intention, but here is another quote: Do not assume maliciousness in ignorance.

Also I do apologize for coming across snobby, I am autistic and try to construct my arguments in ways that are very solid and completely understandable but I have certain habits like repeating a point a few different ways to make sure my exact intentions are properly understood. I am just very passionate about this and fully believe we should try to avoid demonizing Dana when there's a whole crew of people working in collaboration on this show. Oversights will happen, and it does suck, it's not good, but you shouldn't use words like racism to describe these issues, and you shouldn't accuse real people of being racist for these lightweight issues.

Like I mentioned before, people did the same thing to SU, saying small grievances with character design and story were equivalent to racism and other such terrible, SERIOUS accusations, and it almost all was directed specifically at Rebecca Sugar. I would like more owl house. I want to see what else the crew can do with this world, and I think starting up these arguments again but with a new target is not actually helpful for POC and other minorities.

In the original Invader Zim series, Dib and Gaz were intended to be Mexican. For the longest time, the only reason anyone knew that was the case was because the creator answered an ask about it from his now deleted tumblr where he said they were meant to be "pasty Mexicans like my brother and his village of the damned children". In the new movie, the characters were all redesigned, with Dib and Gaz being given darker skin. The show is over. What's done is done. Maybe if we push the issue and there's some additional owl house content made, Willow can be given a more fitting redesign.

-

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Zagr for the ship ask 😤😤😤 every single one bitch

I cannot believe you have bombarded me like this. Appalled. Insulted. Astounded.

Please enjoy my entire analysis of my fictional totally canonical ship.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

1. How did they first meet?

Dib, but also school.

2. What was their first impression of each other?

I think they're both initially incredibly dismissive of one another. Zim thinks the entire fate of the Armada's reputation lying on his shoulders, and Gaz really has too many personal problems even as a kid to deal with; neglectful Dad, overprotective, stupid brother, etc.

3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Okay so hear me out; I think Skoodge and Professor Membrane would be so obnoxious in the best way. And Gir, whenever his attention span lets him remember long enough to scream about it. But I think Membrane would be chipper about Gaz finding someone, even long before she admits she's even interested, and Skoodge would want Zim to be happy and is unconditionally supportive, especially when Zim is mopey whenever his advances are rebuffed.

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Honestly, I love a Zim simp, but I genuinely think it'd be Gaz. Zim is obviously a Defect capable of feeling a larger range of emotions than other Irkens, but he still didn't receive socialization that makes 'romantic rituals' in any way natural to him. So I think Gaz and him would buddy up platonically and casually, initially, until she realizes she likes his company a little too much and freaks out about it.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Gaz does, 100%, and she's way more stubborn about it then Zim. I think Zim's denial is just that he doesn't "get" romance (see above) and what's going on with him, but once he understands he's fully down to bombard Gaz with affection, flirtations, and other over-the-top simp behavior until she stops pretending she's not gritting her teeth while fighting a blush.

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Zim doesn't know what a soul is, but he does begin to understand the concept that they can be taken from human's in bargains. He becomes distracted by the topic. Bringing it up again later would have him largely dismissive.

Gaz would roll her eyes, and be extremely bitter about the idea that there is anyone 'made' for her. She's very independent, and I think someone with the sort of familial issues she does with no role model for a 'happy' family would be really resistant to being bound to someone in a way that would entitle them to her vulnerabilities. She'd be extremely resentful, dismissive, and irritable.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

Really unfulfilled, listless. Without that companionship, they would never develop into people capable of meaningful relationships. I think both of them are very independent. Zim may claim he likes an audience, but there's an undeniable anxiety that he gets when faced with judgement. If it's anything but unwaveringly positive, he becomes delusional and creates a fantasy world in which everyone loves him, and the situation was just an initial misinterpretation. Gaz would have good friends, I think, but accepting Zim and his oddities and realizing she genuinely relates to someone who knows everything about her (via her brother + proximity + time) and is still here would mean a lot to her development.

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Zim, without a doubt. Gaz may like Zim first, but she's completely in denial about it and completely stubborn. Zim is oblivious, and also a big ass simp, so his persistence and patience eventually gets Gaz to let her guard down and accept that she has hormones, she has romantic inclinations, and apparently they've both decided Zim is it. Time to be a big girl and accept it.

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Honestly, I don't think they're the 'date' type of couple. I am probably 100% projecting since my boyfriend and I did not have an official 'date' until like 6 months into our first relationship, where we paused, turned to each other and were like 'wait is this our first date?' because we're homebodies whose idea of fun is projects. I think Zim and Gaz would hang out regularly, but it wouldn't ever be like a formal 'we are going to Bloaty's/the movies/etc as a date,' but rather 'I am going here and you are coming with me so I guess we are going together' thing. Zim doesn't get the point of a date, because if a date is by definition doing an activity together, then aren't they perpetually on a date? And Gaz isn't really a 'let's go to dinner formally' kind of person. They hang out, they go places, but it's never really a 'thing.'

3. What was their first kiss like?

I firmly believes Gaz would have to walk Zim through every aspect of physical affectionate. Zim is really wary about it, but I do think there's an instinct towards good ol' copulation, as well as a longing for positive touch after so long getting his ass whooped in the Academy, that would make him frustrated trying to figure out what this desire is. I think their first kiss is Gaz explaining to Zim, after he asks her outright what else there is after tame stuff like cuddling and hand holding, and Gaz walks him through the concept, implications, and so on until he feels ready to bravely and firmly try it.

While that does sound pretty clinical, I think actually it'd be really emotional for both of them. Zim would be really overwhelmed by how much passion is in a kiss, and Gaz would be similarly overwhelmed since, going into the relationship, she probably never anticipated Zim being interested in anything sexual, so any physical affection he expresses interest in is a surprise to her.

4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

I think Gaz probably would try out a few brief relationships, but never anything substantial or dramatic. Zim's never been in a relationship, so Gaz is his first everything. I do think they'd be each other's first sexual relationship, but I think Gaz would have most of her more minimal firsts with other people prior to Zim.

5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Zim older. I normally write Zim as the same height as Gaz, or only a little taller. Neither of them are tall. I do respect you 'short king' stans though.

6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Dib hates Zim, firmly and completely, at the beginning of their relationship. It takes a lot of self-reflection, meaningful sibling discussions, and probably a few screaming matches that eventually get to the real root of the issue (Dib's ingrained fear that something would happen to Gaz, and that it'd his fault) before he came around. Zim is a big petty bitch and would gleefully antagonize him. They would never stop sniping at each other, but they'd begrudgingly (sort of) behave for Gaz. They would eventually become frenemies and bros, but they'd die and also kill each other before admitting any sort of cordiality.

Professor Membrane adores Zim, and treats him like the son he never had/always wanted, the one who wants to have long discussions about science and can keep up with the theoreticals. Gaz hates it.

The Base and Gaz are cool. They have an understanding borne from two sentient creatures who have found themselves in the position of trying to keep Zim from killing himself, killing other people, or from coming to (too much) harm. Gaz initially hates Gir, but eventually she figures out how to get him to chill out when it's important. Minimoose and her are also cool, but he creeps Gaz out a little.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Zim thinks he does, but it's really just Gaz slapping her hand over his mouth before he can say something stupid, or translating whatever nonsense just came out of his mouth when he's done talking.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Zim. Not even a question.

9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Zim. Also not even a question.

LOVE

1. Who said “I love you” first?

Gaz. Zim doesn't know what it means until she explains it. It takes him awhile to internalize it and reciprocate verbally, but Gaz is okay with that. He shows her how much he cares in other ways.

2. What are their primary love languages?

Without a doubt, Zim's is touch. Once he gets used to it, he's really greedy and possessive about proximity. Just having Gaz bump his arm is sometimes enough to set the worst of his nerves at ease.

Gaz's is acts of service. She's fine with Zim being physically clingy, but it means a lot to her how unflinching he is about protecting her, anticipating her needs, and remembering things.

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Zim. Gaz hates them, but she tolerates it. Sometimes.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Cuddling is very frequent. Zim will just sort of shift in behind Gaz if she's playing a game and cling, and she'll just keep doing what she's doing until she's eventually done and reciprocates. Explicit PDA never happens, but Zim is very clingy and physically will plant himself between Gaz and people who he's distrustful towards.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Gaz. I think Zim would cling to her like a barnacle at every opportunity, but Zim would likely usually defer to Gaz for escalating intimacy.

6. Who’s the big and little spoon?

Zim big spoon. PAK too uncomfortable to let him be the little spoon.

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

I think just being around each other while they do projects, game, etc. would be their favorite thing to do. Sharing in hobbies without feeling pressured to be entertaining, but still feeling like their presence is valued and wanted by the other.

8. Who’s better at comforting the other?

Being a people, and having more emotional competency, Gaz is better. Zim does his best though.

9. Who’s more protective?

Zim, if we're talking about quantity. Gaz, however, if we're talking about quality. Zim screams at chihuahuas for looking at Gaz, and also does protect her from genuine threats, but he overreacts frequently. Gaz, however, would know when Zim's out of his depth and would break the spine of anything that's a threat to him.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical, for both. Neither of them is really used to verbal affection, whether it be giving or receiving. It's a lot more natural to be demonstrative.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Me, cackling as I copy and paste this link that I imagine is from their mutual perspectives:

https://open.spotify.com/track/4nlT0Ch4qpqoS8O1RsdzjH?si=d6d8e1e19a7d4dc7

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

There's lots, and I'm sure most of them are inside jokes, but the tops are Zimmothy + Little Gaz.

13. Who remembers the little things?

It's hard to say. Zim would retain an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Gaz, and tries to spoil her and accommodate her at every opportunity, but Gaz never forgets to pack an extra umbrella and a raincoat.

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Zim.

2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

No one but their mutual 'families.' A very small, intimate ceremony. The reception though is massive, courtesy of Professor Membrane who has no idea how to separate his personal life with his public one.

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

0 kiddos. Cannot product viable, compatible DNA to produce a spawn.

4. Do they have any pets?

Does Gir count?

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

If Gir is the child, Zim. Gaz will let him get away with murder, both because she can't be bothered to control him, and also because she thinks it's funny how mad Zim gets when she lets him go wild.

6. Who worries the most?

Between Gaz "apathetic is my middle name" Membrane and Invader "I have perpetual anxiety" Zim? No idea.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Gir. He eats them long before anyone can find them. But both Gaz and Zim will point out any he misses.

8. How do they celebrate holidays?

Zim fucking hates Christmas, so him and Membrane get down in a bunker for it while Dib and Gaz spend some sibling time somewhere, drinking cocoa and video chatting with the respective morons. Other holidays, they basically go wherever Professor Membrane is in the world with Dib to have a 'family' holiday.

9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Zim doesn't sleep, but he likes the resting and the peacefulness of getting to curl around Gaz in her sleep without her leaving. So him by default.

10. Who’s the better cook?

Zim has a 'kiss the chef' apron and everything.

11. Who likes to dance?

Neither of them, but Zim does 'victory dances' compulsively.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

oh shit. top 5 zim eps :o

Awww man.

I guess I'll just go with my gut and not second guess myself here.

1. Zim eats Waffles.

I wouldn't call this the "definitive" invader zim episode, or even a episode to recommend to someone who's never seen the show.

But it's my all time favorite and I absolutely love that nothing happens in it.

Dib's increasing frustration is halarious and it's probably the boredom he has every day when he spies on Zim.

I love slice of life style/ feels like one shot episodes like this.

There's also a lot of silent humor in this one and long pauses of nothing happening, which IZ doesn't do often.

Also a lot of wholesome slice of life moments with Zim and GIR which is what I live for.

2. Nightmare Begins.

There isn't much to say about the first IZ episode that has never been said before.

But it is such a good first episode. Not just in IZ but in animation and television in general, and I feel this episode needs to be STUDIED.

From the first shot, you know your in for something special and it does something that I don't see done in too many cartoons these days.

It introduces the characters and setting in a very meaningful and atmospheric way. First impressions and appearances are everything, and from the very first line, it doesn't even feel like an introduction.

It just feels like you already know who these people are.

The Tallest's introduction has them bickering with each other.

Zim's introduction has his leaders fear him and have him asset attention and anxiety as the title character.

Membrane acts to busy to spend time with his son, Gaz is annoyed by her brother, Dib is introduced as a dumb kid who watched the matrix once and thinks he's cool, by riding the gutter of the roof and splashing into the sink immediately.

Like it works so well as character introductions, setting introductions and premise introductions.

In some cartoons sometimes I feel the introductions can be... Over the top, or like they try way to hard on a first impression like:

"HELLO, HI! I AM THIS CHARACTER! LOOK HOW QUIRKY I AM! DONT YOU WANTA STAY WITH ME FOR 25 EPISODES?! WAAATTCH ME"

Even Gravity Falls, my beloved, is guilty of this in the first episode.

With Invader Zim, they just have the characters interact with each other and there's not too many pandering moments. Even GIR's introduction is massively understated.

Nightmare Begins needs to be studied for what they accomplish in tone, setting, character introduction, and premise all in less than 30 mins. (I can't even imagine this thing with commercial breaks back in the day)

Just... Nightmare Begins.

It's good. Amazing. And starts IZ so strong then it has any right to.

3. Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars

You forget this episode is only 30 mins.

It honestly feels like a short movie and the chaos in the last act is such (chefs kiss)

It was nice to actually see the Vortians after hearing about them for so long, and other aliens that actually tried to do something about Irken Galatic conquest (although screaming and massive anxiety)

I just love the third act and the ending where every single setup in the first act is blowing up in Zim's face all at once, and they threw in the Robo Parents for good measure too, cause why not? Lol.

4. The Wettening

The episode that actually made me stay and watch more of the show.

Before the wettening, all the episodes felt kinda "samey" to me.

Alien misinterprets a common Earth or skool thing, anxiety spirals out of control, horror and/or chaos insues.

It's why I stopped watching the show at Dark Harvest the first time I watched it.

I just felt there was just so much you could do with Zim as a character.

Boy I'm glad I was wrong.

While NanoZim also had a Dib and Zim fight, this is where I felt it was the most intense and I understood what the show wanted to be.

Skoolyard bully kid fights, on a massive scale.

In a lot of ways the wettening is kind of the pre curser to Battle of the Planets.

But unlike BofP, The Wettening keeps the focus on Dib and Zim's fight and interactions the whole way through.

Even leading the audience to get a bit of sympathy towards Zim, cause Dib is just being a bully.

And my jaw pretty much hit the floor with how the episode resolves.

It's just one of my favorite episodes and it made me stick around and continue to watch the show. And I'm so glad I did.

5. Tak the Hideous New Girl

Now... This isn't because of Tak herself.

While Tak is an okay and interesting character in her own right,

And the Irken reveal genuinely shocked me at the time (cause I was watching the show blind, so I had no idea she was irken. Even despite the obvious spaceship cus that's just how the show is sometimes... Like there's underground classrooms I'm not going to question a private weenie jet.)

What I really like about this episode is in the third act or climax...

Where Gaz, GIR, Dib, Zim (and even Computer) all work together to take down Tak. And there has absolutely been nothing in this entire franchise like it sense.

Dib turns off Tak's machine and supplies Zim with MiMi's memory disc that he got from Gaz.

Gaz in turn, reprograms MiMi with GIR's and Computer's help...

Which in turn causes Zim to win the spaceship battle and defeat Tak..

Just in time Dib puts the earth back to normal.

Tak the Hideous New Girl gave me a glimpse of what can happen when there is a larger threat they need to stand up against...

AND THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT IN THE FRANCHISE SINCE.

A lot of the stuff with Zim trying to romance Tak is halarious and good and Tak's backstory is legitimately pitiful....

But I ultimately come to this episode again and again for that third act high that I know they will never do in the comics or ever again.

[blindbatalex]

joyful tidings that we have been blessed by a carraville ficlet from raisin anon, featuring duvets, sex and the city, and wonderful fluff

~*~

“So Sex and the City tonight then, is it?!” Jamie shouts into the apartment as he toes off his shoes in the hallway. It’s not pouring with rain outside for a change, so there’s no dripping umbrella or a soaked through coat to sort out, but it’s still England in spring, he thinks ruefully, as he folds his scarf neatly and places it in the correct drawer. Gary is a hardass about things like that.

“Piss off!” comes the good-natured reply from the kitchen, so Jamie pads in that direction and finds Gary pouring water into their teakettle.

He doesn’t feel the need to say anything. Neither of them is in top banter form if their team have done badly anyway, and he really doesn’t want to push it. And maybe he felt a bit possessive himself at the minute.

When Gary had casually announced to all of Twitter that “duvet sounds nice” over leaving for management again, he’d had a strong desire to do just that. Share a duvet. And really show in all the ways it is superior to management.

What he does instead at the minute though, is to walk over, wrap his arms around Gary’s middle, tucking himself against his back and places a lazy kiss on the small stretch of bare skin just above the neckline of Gary’s t-shirt. He stays like that for a bit and rather enjoys feeling the muscles in Gary’s back and shoulders move as he fiddles with the stove and places the kettle on the burner.

“What about the duvet thing then? Is that still on the table ?” he asks, when they’ve just stood there for a bit, Gary’s head leaned just so that it rests against Jamie’s. He feels the vibrations of Gary’s laughter rather than hearing the actual sound.

“You would like that wouldn’t you?” Gary asks and steps out of the hold to take two mugs from the cupboard. He holds up the box that contains their assorted collection of tea with a raised eyebrow. Jamie shrugs in response and Gary takes out two bags of Earl Grey.

C’mon, Gaz, he thinks. It will be brilliant, I promise.

“I always enjoy anything that involves us and duvets,” Jamie says in a half-assed attempt at being sultry, partially because he’s not good at it and partially because he’s opened a drawer and is more preoccupied with judging their biscuit selection for the evening.

“Jammie Dodger, Short Bread or Hobnob, love?” he asks.

“No Custard Creams left?

“No, ate them all. There’s a bit of Chocolate Bourbons here.”

“Short Bread then, and write Custard Creams on the list.”

Jamie places the biscuits on the counter and scribbles down “CC” on the grocery list hanging on the fridge by a United magnet. It’s the rule. The team highest up in the league got the honour of adorning their fridge even if it looked ten times uglier with the little devil in Jamie’s, honest to god, unbiased opinion.

“So duvet thing was a joke then ?” he asks again minutes later as he pours hot water into their mugs. Gary rolls his eyes and eats a biscuit, but there’s no real annoyance there, so Jamie smiles and heads of to the bedroom.

And that’s how they end up like they do that night. They’ve dragged the duvet from the bedroom and over to the couch in the living room, cups of tea long finished, Short Bread eaten, and the first series of Line of Duty flickering across the telly.

Jamie’s scooted down a bit so he can lean his head comfortably on Gary’s shoulder, duvet pulled up almost to his chest, and he’s reminded of exactly why it was such a treat the odd Sunday morning he and his brothers were allowed to drag their duvets to the living room.

Line of Duty, however, is not a treat and definitely not the same when you know the ending and what a let-down it was.

“Maybe we should’ve gone with Sex and the City instead”, he mumbles and hears Gary snort in response.

“I’m watching the replay of the shoot out before we’re watching that.”

Jamie almost suggests that they do that because it’s not often they go to all eleven players taking penalties, and it’d be an interesting analysis if nothing else, but he has a feeling Gary only said that to prove how unlikely Sex and the City would be so he keeps quiet.

“Well, it’s nice you wanted to share duvet with me at least then, even if you draw the line at the adventures of Carrie Bradshaw,” he says instead.

“How d’you even know that name?” Gary asks, sounding genuinely surprised.

“Watched it sometimes in hotels and that”, he confesses.

“Bet you have everything on DVD and posters all over your bedroom.”

Jamie laughs again and scoots up so he can place a kiss on Gary’s cheek.

“Just nice to know to what lengths you would go to for me s’all, love.”

He knows he hasn’t quite mastered pretend casualness just yet when Gary wrinkles his eyebrows and turns to look at him. He studies his face for a bit, but then his frown turns into a gentle smile and he leans in so he can peck Jamie’s lips.

“I’m not going anywhere, James.”

It wasn’t exactly a reassurance Jamie really needed because he knew logically it would not happen, but it was nice, he realised, nonetheless.

Gary’s Spanish misadventure had catapulted them down whatever road they were walking together now, and absence makes the heart grow fonder and everything, but it was a nice comfort knowing that this they would get to keep. Tea and biscuits and lazy evenings and the disappointment that comes with being emotionally invested in a football club.

And each other. Unlike a certain club, they didn’t end their season in heartbreak.

[enderio]

DO THE WHOLE LIST PLS I BEG YOU

Sergei is so interesting, I can't get enough 😔

I CANNOT DENY A GUEST, NO MATTER THE REQUEST.

Here we go.

1 - How old are they?

In both MW and CW he’s 24 years old

2 - What gender are they?

Cis male

3 - What is their romantic/sexual orientation?

Bisexual

4 - How tall are they?

5 foot 11 inches or 1.8 metres 

5 - What do they look like?

He’s pretty muscular, he has an angular face with gunmetal blue eyes, dirty blonde hair that’s kinda spiky

6 - What are their defining features?

He stands very properly, back straight and shoulders back, this makes him look a little menacing

7 - Does their name have a meaning?

His first name, Sergei, came from a youtubers meme

Middle name, Kirillovich, is bc I thought it sounded cool, idk

Last name, Smirnov, does have real meaning, in ye old Russia merchants with babies who rarely cried had the last name of Smirnov and since Sergei is such a quiet and kept to himself person I felt like he’d be the same as a baby

8 - What family do they have?

His mother, father, 2 younger brothers and 1 older sister

9 - Do they have a good relationship with their family?

With his parents, yes, he sends them letters and calls them often

With his siblings, not so much

10 - If not, why not?

He just kinda grew away from them and never really kept in touch, especially since he lives so far from them.

11 - Where does he live?

With his military platoon, so on base

12 - Is it a safe place?

Oh yes, incredibly safe

13 - Are they poor, middle-class, or wealthy?

Middle-class

14 - answered

15 - Who is their best friend?

CW: Belikov, Woods, Sims, Bell, Mason

MW: Gaz, MacMillan, Ghost, Nikolai, Soap, Price, Alex (2019)

16 - Do they have any enemies?

Kinda, he and Roach just really don’t like each other and he despises Hudson

17 - answered

18 - Do they have any love/hate relationships?

I feel like him and Lazar would be in that category, lots of banter and arguing but friends at the end of the day

19 - answered

20 - Who is the person they love most in the world?

Either his cousin, Belikov, or his father. Belikov because they’re so close, they practically grew up together and have always been by each other’s sides. His father because he raised Sergei and his siblings with pure, honest love and care  and Sergei really doesn’t have any other father figures in his life. 

21 - Does that person love them back?

Oh absolutely! Belikov sees him as a brother and his father because well, it’s  his son.

22 - Have they ever hurt or lost anyone?

Yes, Sergei has lost his fair share of soldiers and comrade-in-arms in battle. 

23 - answered

24 - Are they well liked?

By his friends and officers, yes, very much so. He follows orders and does as he’s told but isn’t afraid to snip back to a snide comment or friendly argument. To strangers? Not so much, he tends to come off as unwelcoming if you don’t known him. 

25 - answered

26 - Are they an affectionate person?

To his friends, not super affectionate but he does let them know if it’s needed. To his love then very much so, little gifts and compliments and touches. 

27 - Are they very driven?

He’s driven by his need to protect others and the slight guilt of his fallen comrades so yes.

28 - Are they very political?

He doesn’t care much for it at all.

29 - What kind of state is the world that they live in?

Well depending on which game(s) he’s in. If he’s in COD: CW then the state could be better but he’s helping. If he’s in The MW trilogy (or 2019) then the world definitely could be in better shape.

30 - What are the world leaders like?

Go check out MW’s and CW for yourself and see.

31 - Does the character worry about their place in society?

No, he’s confident he’s doing the right thing by being in the military. 

32 - answered

33 - answered

34 - Are they a good person?

I like to think so, he has good morals, I.e. don’t kill children or civilians, Andy knows where to draw the line between good and bad

35 - answered

36 - Do they believe in destiny?

Not really, he thinks that if you want something then you need to go get it 

37 - Are they trustworthy?

Yes, incredibly trustworthy. He wouldn’t never go back on his word without strong evidence and he can keep a promise well.

38 - Are they a good liar?

Yes, to everyone except Belikov. His cousin just always manages to see straight through him. 

39 - How do they react to criticism? 

If he thinks it’s genuine then he’ll take it into account but if it’s something he thinks is stupid then he will ignore it

40 - What is their moral alignment?

Lawful chaotic or lawful neutral 

41 - Can they fight?

Yes, both unarmed and armed, he did wrestling in high school and regularly tackles Belikov if he’s being annoying. 

42 - Would they ever purposely hurt someone?

Not without a good reason. 

43 - Have they ever been seriously injured?

Yes, he’s had to come back from mission with broken ribs and arms before. 

44 - Do they know first aid?

Yes, he knows how to tie a basic tourniquet and that blood loss is very bad. 

45 - Do they have any other survival skills?

He can make a fire pretty quick and know some how to hunt and fish. 

46 - answered

47 - How intelligent are they?

He’s pretty you smart but more intellectually smart rather than book-smart

48 - What is the school system like?

Ngl, idk what this one means lmao, he didn’t go past high school 

49 - What is their job?

He is a top Military helicopter pilot and is an on-call foot soldier. 

50 - Do they enjoy their job?

He loves it! He loves the danger and risk effect to it. 

That was a lot omg. If you STILL want more Sergei then I filled out more stuff for him on my Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1012495231-my-cod-oc-my-oc 

Thank you though! That was hella fun!

[noirandchocolate]

Here’s my alternative Invader Zim species swap AU:

Dib is a 12-year-old Irken child in training to be a Scientist/weapons developer but he hates it and wants to be an Invader because he’s fascinated by non-Irkens.  He does a lot of research about foreign aliens and tries to convince his classmates that some of the wild stories Irkens tell about these inferior species (as entertainment) are actually true--because some of them are.  Meanwhile Dib’s teacher scolds him and tries to get him to focus on his training, because young Dib is really smart and a quick learner, and kind of a prodigy when it comes to inventing and building things.  Eventually though, Dib decides he’s had Enough! and executes a daring plan to steal a voot runner and go explore some other planets for himself!  

On the way, he literally runs into a slightly younger child named Gaz (another science/technology trainee who’s known in the training unit for being able to beat anyone at any video game and for designing a highly deadly security system for her belongings).  Guards notice both of them are where they shouldn’t be, so Dib just sorta grabs Gaz’s hand and drags her along.  They DO manage to escape into space!!!  Gaz is pissed off and beats Dib up, and in the course of the two bashing about the ship’s cabin, they accidentally put on the autopilot, disable the manual controls, and set course for...you can see where this is going.  Gaz is even more pissed than ever before.  

Once their voot crashes on Earth, Dib figures that hurray!  He WILL be an Invader after all!  Luckily this voot was meant for an actual Invader and there’s appropriate technology on board for creating a base, etc.  Time for infiltrating the human school system, which makes sense because they’re actually kids!!  Dib is more interested in researching these strange foreigners and their culture but figures he could probably conquer this dumb planet for the Irken race no problem.  However he sometimes gets real distracted by human paranormal lore because he assumes a lot of it is true and finds out that some of it actually is--as he always believed about other aliens!  It’s so great to be RIGHT about things!  Meanwhile Gaz is in charge of maintaining their base’s security system and just thinks humans are stupid.  The only way this AU doesn’t end in a week with Gaz conquering Earth is that she discovers Earth video games and gets obsessed with them.  Seriously it’s a handwave but that’s all I’ve got at the moment.  Meanwhile there’s also the fact that again, Dib’s a child, so lack of knowledge and experience gets in the way of a lot of his conquest plans.

MEANWHILE!!!!  Red and Purple are twin brothers from an extremely wealthy family of decadent layabout capitalists who think money, power, and fame are just their birthright, and because this version of Earth is just as stupid as real Earth and canon-IZ-Earth, they’re co-Presidents, because of course they are.

Zim’s a 25- to 30-year-old cafeteria worker at Dib and Gaz’s school because he fucked up at being a weapons developer for the military and (accidentally) assassinated President Miyuki and Vice-President Spork, which is how Red and Purple (somehow next in line due to having positions in Congress I guess) became in charge.  But what Zim really always wanted to do was be a spy, so R&P being themselves decided it would be really funny to, instead of having him prosecuted, tell him he has to go ‘deep undercover’ on a mission of the utmost importance.  Y’know.  Serving bratty kids disgusting goop at a school.  When Dib shows up in the lunch line, Zim figures out he’s an alien and decides THAT must be why his PRESIDENTS assigned him to this place!!!  

Zim and Dib still fucking hate each other’s guts and Dib believes Zim might be a genuine threat to his faux-Invader mission because he does get in the way a bunch of times because he’s trying to impress R&P (who don’t give a shit and don’t believe him that D&G are aliens anyway).  Zim sees Dib as the only thing standing in the way of his career as an illustrious spy.  Gaz doesn’t care and Zim takes quite a bit longer to even notice she’s an alien because she’s better at being an Invader than Dib even though she’s like.  Eleven.

Gir is Zim’s absolutely disgusting dog.  Eventually there’s an episode featuring Tak as an Actually Good Spy that Zim screwed over in college somehow.  The Tallest back home is Membrane, who does NOT want to hear about Dib’s paranormal stuff or really about humans at all, and just wants him to come home and do Real Science for the Irken military!!  Miz Bitters is still Miz Bitters because Miz Bitters is an inalterable truth of the universe.

That’s all I’ve got for now thanks for coming.

[thisisamadhouse]

OQ Prompt Party Sunday

For the final day of @oqpromptparty here is my 7th contribution. This one is the first part of my second chapter for Join us in the shadows my DOQ Mafia AU. Hopefully I can post the whole thing later today or tomorrow. This is a response to prompt #56. One is a killer/Criminal the other one is trying to catch him/her.

Regina Mills has always been a light sleeper. She guesses it comes from her upbringing, it wasn’t rare to have strange visitors showing up at all hours of the night at the Mills Manor, and, more often than not, Regina’s eyes would pop open and she would strain her ears to catch snippets of conversations between her parents and their latest guest.

So when either of her lovers so much as shifts, she feels it and her peaceful slumber becomes a distant memory. Out of the two, it usually is Robin, Mal only needs some body heat to fall into a 7 to 8-hours coma.

He stirs some more, and she feels the chest she uses as a pillow expand as he sighs.

“You’re thinking again,” she whispers, mindful of the still blissfully unaware blonde on his other side.

His breath catches as he realizes she is awake, and despite her closed eyes, Regina can clearly picture him wincing in apology.

“I’m sorry, my mind just won’t shut down tonight,” he murmurs, drawing random patterns along her satin covered side with the tips of his fingers, making her shiver pleasantly.

“What is it?” She asks, tilting her head back slightly, and finally opening her eyes to study him.

“Sometimes I wonder how I ended up being so lucky, and I’m afraid to wake up one day and find out it was all a dream,” he replies, and he looks so positively stricken by the mere idea that the snort she was about to let out at his cheesy words dies down in her throat.

“What on Earth made you think about this at two a.m?” She wonders, bewildered, bringing her hand from its resting place above his heart to cup his jaw and turn his head towards her.

“I think about it most nights to be quite honest,” he admits, smiling wistfully at her, and she is taken aback.

“You never said anything,” she breathes out, her thumb gently stroking his cheek, enjoying the way his stubble grazes her skin as he nuzzles into her touch. He normally prefers to be clean-shaven, but sometimes they are able to convince him to indulge them.

“I was afraid to jinx it. After all why would two bold, stunning women like you keep a lowly thief like me around?” He looks down at himself with a vague gesture of his hand, his face twisting in a grimace. “Especially given how I found myself involved with you.”

He believes it, Regina thinks, startled, he really believes he is not good enough.

“Probably because, most days, you’re the one person able to keep us sane. I don’t know if you realized it but, before you came along, our moral compass had been pretty much thrown out the window,” she tells him lightly, hoping that some humour will help get him out of this funk, though the events she refers to, when he started working for them, are anything but humorous.

She knows he can’t have forgotten the smell of burned flesh and the dying screams as he had stood by after they had doused Sydney with gasoline, her former closest associate who had betrayed them when he couldn’t cope with the fact that Mal had supplanted him by Regina’s side. Unable to endure his pathetic excuses, Regina had thrown a lighted match in the barrel herself and walked away, never looking back.

Two birds with one stone, they call it: they had sent a message reminding everyone what was the price to pay for talking too much, while testing their newest recruit. Robin had passed with flying colors, his composure impressing them, and he had waited until they were in private to wonder if there may be less drastic ways to proceed in the future. The only thing that had stopped them from lashing out was the fact that there wasn’t any trace of judgement in his voice, just genuine curiosity.

“Of course, Mal would manage to bring home the only noble thief out there,” Regina chuckles softly, shaking her head with a fond expression.

“I don’t know about noble, but I’m certainly glad she did,” he counters, pressing his lips against Regina’s forehead, his gaze suddenly far away as he remembers.

A dear friend, the brother he never really had, begging for help to settle a huge debt, a series of burglaries and larcenies in an otherwise trouble-free, extremely wealthy community, an unrelenting sheriff, and Robin had found himself locked up. He had pleaded guilty, and had received a rather mild sentence, since he had no priors and had kept nothing for himself.

His wife, Marian, had never forgiven him the shame he had brought on his family though. She had divorced him a few months into his four-years sentence, deemed him unfit to be in their son’s life, fought for sole custody with no visitations rights, and won. By the time Robin got out, she had been long gone, taking not just Roland with her, his precious boy who would never know him, but also Keith Nottingham, the Sheriff who had arrested Robin.

She had packed his stuff in his car and into a garage, the key and address to which Robin got from his lawyer. Going through what was left of his possessions, Robin found an old map, closed his eyes and randomly pointed at a spot: the coast of Maine. With no clue as to where he could find his son, a fresh start where no one knew him seemed like the best option.

So, in his beat-up car, with a few clothes and whatever mementos he couldn’t stand to sell, he slowly made his way from Chicago to the East Coast, trying to enjoy his newfound freedom, finding little jobs here and there to pay for food, motel rooms and gaz. When he finally arrived in Storybrooke, he found a quaint little town, where everyone knew everyone, but asked few questions. He helped out at the local diner, Granny’s, in exchange for a room at the adjacent Bed & Breakfast, the no-nonsense, eponymous owner having a soft spot for his dimples.

He thought that he could finally breathe, but luck had not been on his side for a long time now, and he found the local sheriff waiting for him in this room one morning after breakfast. Before he could ask how the man had entered, he let him know in no uncertain terms that he knew all him.

“You see I have been appointed here to put an end to the criminal activities plaguing the county and which seems to originate from this town,” Sheriff Graham revealed, and Robin couldn’t help his raised eyebrows and the way he looked around the tranquil B&B.

“Don’t let appearances fool you, Mr Locksley. There is evil rooted deep in Storybrooke, and I want to purge it, but I can’t do it alone, believe me I tried. You are just the kind of person I need for the job,” the man explained, and Robin appraised him silently for long moments before wondering:

“If you are asking someone like me for help, I guess that this is dangerous, what could possibly motivate me?”

Graham obviously expected the question, though he huffed and clenched his teeth at the idea that Robin would not just jump at the opportunity to help the Police.

“As I said, I know all there is to know about you, if you assist me, I could help you find your son,” he bargained, and Robin immediately straightened up.

“You know where Roland is?”

“It would be easy for me to find out.”

Robin looked at the man intently, looking for any sign of deception, and the Sheriff held his gaze, unflinching.

“Alright, I will do it,” Robin finally acquiesced.

“Perfect, I don’t want to share many details just yet, I only have strong suspicions at this point, could never prove anything, so I think it’s better to work our way up. One thing I do know is that the local cab company seems to be at the center of it all, it would be a good start to find yourself a job there. I will send you a burner phone to contact me, the less we are seen together, the better.”

Robin sent an application, and not long after John, the owner of the cab company, offered him a job.

Given the trust the man was placing in him, Robin felt obligated to reveal some of his history, but John only laughed, and that probably should have worried him more that it did. The man said that he believed in second chances, and Robin was only too happy to be given a chance. He hoped that it would bring him closer to getting help to find Roland.

The first few weeks, it was pretty simple, transporting people coming and going to the airport mostly, a few packages to fetch or drop, always with the strict instruction to not open. They didn’t need bother, Robin had learned in prison how aggressive people could become if you touched their stuff, and he knew better. The Sheriff was pretty interested in the drop-offs, and he asked details about the people he transported. Robin had taken the habit to stash a notebook in his glove box to keep track of all those informations.

He got used to some kind of routine, until one morning when John gave him a special assignment: to pick up a special customer from the airport. She had had to let go of her usual driver, and John was hoping she would use their services from then on.

He gave Robin a sign with the name “Mal Drachen” written on it, and sent him on his way. Robin wasn’t sure what to expect, since he had no idea who to look for, but the tall, blonde woman in a stylish grey pantsuit and matching fedora, meaning business, certainly wasn’t it. She headed straight towards him, looked him up and down, eyes lingering long enough in some places to have him start to feel insecure and wanting to fidget, only to conclude with a “you’ll do”, and preceded him towards the car, her suitcase rolling behind her, leaving him barely a few seconds to recover from his shock before he had to follow.

By the time he had loaded her luggage in the trunk and started the car, she was already on the phone, and Robin understood very quickly that she was no ordinary client, and exactly why John had chosen him specifically. He made his way towards Storybrooke, knowing better than to disturb her to ask for the address, it could wait.

“I’m on my way home, I just got your message, what happened?” He heard her say, keeping his eyes firmly on the road. A pause as she listened intently to her interlocutor’s reply, and then: “He did what?” Her voice became low and deadly cold, it sent an unpleasant shiver running along Robin’s spine.

“This can’t go on, you tried to let him down gently, and it’s obviously not working. He needs to be dealt with… permanently, and the sooner, the better,” she continued, and Robin forced himself not to react. There was only so many ways to interpret this conversation, and he wasn’t sure that he liked where this was going. Could it be that easy? Could he have found an actual lead so quickly?

“Of course, I’m right,” she said, after another pause. “I’ll be there soon, we’ll determine the best course of action then,” and she hung up.

A silence, and then: “I must admit that I’m rather impressed with your self-control. Usually, by this point, after such a conversation, people tend to sweat and look around for the best way to flee,” she remarked, and he looked in the rear-view mirror and caught her eyes for a second before focusing back on the road.

“Well,” he shrugged. “I make it a point to respect my client’s privacy, and I didn’t hear anything that could give me reasons to worry about my safety. Two very good incentives to keep driving,” he looked up again, and saw her smirk.

“I can see why Sheriff Graham was so eager to have you on his side, Mr Locksley,” that made Robin’s blood run cold. “I hope that we can make a competitive offer for your services,” she continued, and the vice like sensation around his heart relaxed slightly.

“How do you know…” He started, before she cut him off.

“You will realise that we know everything that happens in Storybrooke, we are well established, and people around here trust us more than they do some Sheriff thinking they are God’s gift sent to save us all, until their bosses understand that they are no better than the one before and replace them,” she told him, and well he could see her point, he had found Graham to be more than a little arrogant since their first meeting.

“What do you want from me?” He asked.

“Only that you listen to what we have to say, give us a chance to present you with some options,” she replied, and Robin gulped.

“Options?”

“Let’s wait until we are in a more comfortable setting. 108 Mifflin Street will do nicely, I trust you can find it.”

He knew the address, had passed by it several times since his arrival.

The rest of the drive was quiet, her passenger was relaxed in the backseat, while he tightened his grip on the wheel until his knuckles turned white with each mile that brought them closer to their destination.

He took a deep breath after parking the car in front of the rather impressive mansion, and exited from it to open the back door for his client. He gave her the suitcase and followed her inside.

He was surprised to find a small crowd milling about, going from one room to another, some carrying packages, others on their phones or computers, exchanging papers or a few words, in what had looked like a well practiced dance.

Each of them stopped what they were doing when they saw Mal, saluting her as she led Robin towards the back of the house. She knocked once on the door, and entered without waiting for a reply. She closed the door of what Robin quickly realised was a large study and walked to the imposing wooden desk behind which another woman had been working.

She straightened up at their entrance, and Robin’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. Mal Drachen had certainly been a vision, but this woman… she was truly delectable. It was the first time in years that he had such a reaction to a woman.

“Robin Locksley...” Mal introduced. “...meet Regina Mills.”

TBC...

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Josh Kelly to become majority investor in Channel Ten

MID-June, Round 13 is upon us, we are well and truly into the meat of the season.

Teams are out of the race, some teams are now preparing themselves for a full, validated tilt at the flag, others are now positioning themselves to scrap it out for a finals spot.

Player managers are getting busy, football media continue to squabble with one another and with the quick turnaround with the Thursday fixtures, it’s pretty full on.

Let’s get into it.

 1. Alistair Clarkson gets away with a $5k donation to Freeze MND with a further $15k suspended until the end of their season, ie. August. A bit soft really. Does he get a lighter whack because he was indirect in his language, even though the message was a strong as any? Or because the league found contrition in his appearance Sunday, half-time of the Blues-Giants game, an appearance he solicited? Either way, soft.

2. Now how’s about Robbo? He has played a bit of the victim here, which I have some empathy for as he has royally copped it, from the media and the social media heroes alike. However, he has brought this upon himself. Aside from the original tweet, and the sincerity of his apology, the audacity to then request an interview and as Nathan Buckley put it “feather his own nest” is a shocking display of self-interest, ignorance and totally undoes the good work of the initial apology. To then blame ‘heat from his editor’ is too equally disappointing. Patrick Dangerfield said it best when he questioned the accountability for actions by those in the media, those who are now bonafide, rightly or wrongly, personalities of the game. Not good enough Mark. Nowhere near good enough.

3. Cracker game on Monday and you’d like to think the Dees deserved a close one after throwing a few too many wins away earlier in the season. Without their All-Australian ruckman and emerging star key forward, this team has a lovely mix of pace, grunt and skill. Fully fit, sneaking into that 5th-8th bracket, they are quintessentially the team who could scare from the bottom part of the eight ala the Dogs of last year, if they were to find some real form in the lead up to September.

4. As for Collingwood, this is going to be such a fine line you feel come year’s end. Finally you are starting to see the kind of side that could win finals break out of Buckley’s program, but has he had too much time? Their last five weeks has yielded three wins, a four-point loss and one-point loss, its good form. But whether a 9th, 10th or 11th with a bullet saves Buckley is very hard to judge. Going to be interesting to say the least.

5. Jaeger O’Meara is a story not being told enough right now. The Hawks have mortgaged the mortgage on he and Tom Mitchell, bereft of any draft pick for the best part of two years so they could get both lads into the club. The latter, Mitchell, is a lock for the All-Australian squad, so you tick that box. However, the former Rising Star winner is anything but a success yet, struggling to get on the park. Why? He has a knee with the structural integrity of David Strassman’s Chucky doll. His patella tendon was severely ruptured and he’ll never fully recover from it. Some clubs medical view, when appraising the worth of chasing the former-Sun last off-season, was he’d be lucky to ever get back to his best, perhaps ever put together a full season again. This is all predication and a prognosis is always just a prognosis, but given the last month or so’s lack of progress, it looks very gloomy for the Hawks without any real confidence for optimism.

6. How about Liam Jones on the weekend? One of the genuine good news stories of the year. Sure, Bulldogs fans have every right to shrug the performance off, they know all too well the tease he was and were happy to be rid of him, a subsequent drought-breaking flag definitely helped. But two and a half years into a three-year contract, one seen as a massive failure and a certainty not to be renewed, to take down Jono Patton comprehensively, effecting 12 spoils in a one-point win, enormous. Well done to him.

7. Essendon showed on the weekend what to expect in 2018. Don’t be too concerned about finals this year, in fact getting in and losing first week would be fantastic. But this team has such a September blue print about it, another 12 months and they are top four material, and from there of course the world is their oyster. Look out.

8. Sydney on the other hand, not so sure about them, and as a result the Bulldogs. I think we stick with the Swans being done, not rubbish and bottoming-out done but they aren’t making the finals and shouldn’t be unless the world caves in and this becomes the weirdest season ever. But we are trusting the Dogs because of last year – but we must remind ourselves, they somewhat scraped into 7th last year, they were definitely good enough for finals, but don’t remember their September campaign, as utterly brilliant as it was, was not reflective of their home and away year.

9. Some player movement stuff, because it comes in – firstly Nat Fyfe. Looks as though he will stay, but what is clear is he definitely exercised the look to a Melbourne move. St Kilda didn’t really stop their interest in Fyfe, that’s not right, what has occurred is they now believe Josh Kelly is in their grasp, which we will touch on next. So Fyfe staying at Freo is a fair bit to do with the Saints focusing their pockets of overflowing cash elsewhere. Carlton hasn’t ruled Fyfe out though, but that would be doubtful, they really like Lachie Whitfield.

10. So Kelly, he knows GWS’ offer and that’s two years at decent coin. St Kilda is offering better money and term, the Roos are offering better again. Tough call. Hard to ignore the Victorian money, and security, but I don’t think he has decided. He could stay. After thinking Josh Schache was a certainty, the idea of staying might be remerging – success over salary. The smart call might be to pick the Saints and hope you win a flag there, but this one is up in the air for sure.

11. On Schache, the Tigers are stiff. They thought they had him. They had made him a priority and were making decisions around his acquisition. His two-year deal to stay at Brisbane shocked them and now it’s about Plan B at Punt Rd.

12. Collingwood are trying to change Jackson Trengove’s mind. The Port defender come relief ruckman is out of contract, a free agent, and yet to re-sign at Alberton but the word is he is unlikely to leave. But the Pies see his value and are prepared to offer him a thought-provoking deal to bring him back home to Melbourne. This will test how persuasive the Pies can be, they’re making all the right noises to him, so watch this space.

13. Almost as a backup plan it seems, but Sydney’s Sam Reid is the Pies fall back if Trengove follows Schache’s decision to stay at their club. The Swans would prefer to move Kurt Tippett and keep Reid, but if there’s no taker for Tippett, and right now there isn’t, then they risk losing Reid who if he was to move on, a return to Melbourne and choosing his brother Ben’s club would be a fait acompli. But it appears the Pies are prioritising Trengove, mind you they may be well happy with Reid worst case anyway.

14. Jason Johannisen, I have that at 50-50. But I think he stays if I have to pick right now. There are persuasive reasons to leave Melbourne, good cash, closure from some issues here, but I credit Luke Beveridge for being a great man manager and alongside some related reasons to stay to those that see him leave, I think the Doggies hold onto the Norm Smith medallist.

15. Zak Jones is 80-20 to be a Demon next year. Melbourne has followed his progress, would like to add another piece in their build towards top four contention, and given his brother happens to be the co-captain, it’s a strong case they can put to the young Swan. I think the Dees get their man.

16. Tom Rockliff will be on the market again this off-season, in different circumstances mind you, but whilst he has performed more than admirably in recommitting to the Lions for 2017, his contract demands are turning Melbourne clubs away. Collingwood was one who was keen, who won’t be now/anymore, but others such as Hawthorn and St Kilda who are tempted by the free agent are now thinking against the idea. Rockliff would be a useful piece, and transaction for someone, but right now it’s looking long odds.

17. Quick one on Dustin Martin, if Kelly stays in Sydney then I wander if the chequebook rolls out from Moorabbin for the free agent. It would make a lot of sense; they can definitely pay him more than the Tigers.

18. Could Gaz win the Brownlow? Right now, in a Suns side that is looking a bit better than we’d first thought, he would have probably three best-on-grounds to this point, maybe accumulating 10-13 votes, which would be maybe three or four off the lead. Now, not suggesting he should be favourite, but if he is fit, even in a fledgling Gold Coast team, we know he polls and polls well. A watch.

19.   The runner issues with Nick Maxwell – please, its like all the fare evaders who catch Melbourne trams every day. So many are doing it but one gets caught and we want to pigeon that person for being the one bad egg. All the runners do something similar, or at least if you scrutinise closely are conducting themselves in a way that wouldn’t please City Hall or the fans alike. We just never check or notice.

20. And finally this week, Jeremy Howe is a victim of his own prowess. His mark on Monday was that good yet failed to get the absolute kudos it might deserve because he does it every second week. Mind you, for the best marks of all time, two that still stick in my mind, one I saw live, one from the pages of history – check out Michael ‘Disco’ Roach’s screamer against Hawthorn, and then Chris Tarrant’s speccy on Queen’s Birthday many years ago, which was usurped for Mark of the Year just four days later, by Gary Moorcroft standing on Brad Johnson’s back. Biased or not, Tarrant’s mark was just massive.

 (originally published June 15)