#because he knows they hate him yet he still wanted to try with them

[not-neverland06]

How About a Nuke?

Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII

Series Masterlist

Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The ghoul x fem!reader A/N: @weakling-grace did some fanart for the series that I absolutely adore! And I want you all to look at it. It’s on her blog, or reposted on mine under the tag How about a nuke? Summary: The wound’s infected. It shouldn’t be, but here you are anyway, barely holding on to life. You make it as far as you can and then it’s up to him to decide whether you get to live or die.

“Have I told you yet that you are the most gorgeous woman in this room?” You couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on your face even if you tried. 

“Only about a dozen times.” His hand reaches for yours across the table and you take it eagerly, linking your fingers together and enjoying the way his hazel eyes linger on yours. You could get lost in them, as cliche as it sounds. You and about every other woman in the world fell in love when you first saw those smiling eyes on the silver screen. 

“I’ll just have to tell you a dozen more.”

God, you would swoon if you could. But, unfortunately, you are in the middle of a very nice restaurant and you’re sure they wouldn’t enjoy your fainting spell. It’s not like you could help it, he was so effortlessly charming, everything he said with that rasping accent of his sounded like music to you. 

Your smile slipped slightly when you caught two women staring at you both. They weren’t even trying to hide it, pointing and whispering behind their hands. You clenched your jaw, trying your best not to let the anger show on your face. But he caught it anyway. 

Cooper dropped your hand and tucked his back in his lap. He sighed and glanced over his shoulder, they caught his eye and gasped, stopping their cruel whispers. You opened your mouth to try and make him feel better but he interrupted you, “Hey-”

“I told you this was gonna happen sweetheart.” You hated how sad he sounded, how resigned he was to his new place in life. It was no secret that most of your fellow actors despised him now just because he did a few ad campaigns for Vault-Tec. But that didn’t mean the rest of the world did. There were still plenty of people who adored Cooper and asked for his autograph. 

Granted, those ladies clearly weren’t fans, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care if you got spotted together in public and rumors started up again. You didn’t care what that meant about future roles. “I want to be with you, Coop, but I can’t keep having this same conversation over and over again.” You sighed and finally drew your hand back to yourself, he tracked the movement like a hawk. 

“If this is too much,” you forced yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat and put on a stilted smile. “If being with me in the public eye is too much then maybe we should-”

“Enough,” he reached back over and forced his hand into yours. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried about you.” He stopped you before you could interrupt him, giving you a knowing smile. “I know that you don’t care what being around me does to your career, but I do. There’s no reason for the both of us to be washed up celebrities.”

“Hey, you’re not washed up, plenty of people still want to see you on the silver screen.”

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. He squeezed your hand once before letting go and picking up his fork, “Let’s just enjoy our meal, sweetheart.”

“Pick up the pace! I’m not gonna wait for you forever, sweetheart.”

You glared at him and leaned on a tree for support. You’re not sure what’s going on. You feel hot under your skin but also like you’re freezing, you’d thrown up twice during night watch and you’re about five seconds away from keeling over. 

Your sweaty palm slips against the bark and you go sliding over. You hear his boots stomping through the grass before they stop in front of you. Rough hands steady your shoulders and shove you upright again. His eyes rove across your face, the muscles above his eyes turning down in concern. 

“Shit, you look like,” he trailed off, “well, to be perfectly honest you look like shit.”

You laughed but it came out strangled and he flinched back in disgust when you started coughing. “Good to know you’re still a gentleman, Cooper.” 

He sighed and led you over to a rotted log. You threw yourself down on it, wincing as it jarred your sensitive stomach. The gash was aching a lot more than it should. 

When you’d been shot, you could barely even feel it by this point. Now the wound was burning, itching so bad you just wanted to rip the stitches out with your bare hands. Your head rolls back and you clench your eyes shut as another wave of nausea goes through you. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat, rattling like a hummingbird in a cage. 

He kneels in front of you and reaches for your shirt. You lean back on your hands to give him better access. “Stimpak should have worked by now,” he mutters. He pulls your shirt higher up on your abdomen and hisses through his teeth. 

“What is it?” Your tongue is glued to the roof of your mouth and the words come out garbled. 

“Shit!” He yanks your shirt down and reaches for your bag, digging through it until he finds another one of the Stimpaks you’d taken. 

You’d be more panicked if your head wasn’t floating right now. “What is it?” He doesn’t answer you, he hovers the injector over his mouth and lets the medicine shoot in. You wince when he immediately turns to spit it into the grass. 

He wipes the back of his mouth and chuckles. “Should’ve fucking known,” he mutters. He goes through the rest of the supplies you’d grabbed and starts chucking them further into the forest. 

You’re getting pissed off now. Pissed off and worried, you just needed him to talk to you, tell you what’s going on. “Cooper!” You snap, hand clutched over the burning wound on your stomach. He sighs and looks up at you. “Tell me what’s happening.”

“Fakes,” he says, mouth set in a firm line and eyes hard against your worried gaze. “See, darlin’, some people like the men we met last night hand out fake supplies.” If you weren’t so worried you’d be mad about how condescending he sounds. 

“They take empty injectors and fill ‘em with chems to keep people sick and coming back to them. It’s a steady income,” he says, like it’s a respectable career. “Your wound is infected, probably only worsened by whatever chem they put in the Stimpak I stuck you with.”

Your eyes are wide with horror. You can’t decide what’s worse, that you’ve essentially been poisoned and are probably experiencing sepsis right now. Or that people were capable of being so cruel and profited off of it. He pulls your canteen out of your bag and unscrews the cap. He holds the water up to your nose, “Sniff.” You do and he waves his hand, prompting you to tell him what exactly you smelled. 

“Smells like metal,” you shrug, not sure what that means. 

“Infected and you’ve got rad poisoning.” At your confused glance he continues, “Water’s not purified either, sweetheart. Whatever you got is about to get a hundred times worse.” When he turns his back to put the water back in your bag you finally risk a glance down at your stomach. 

You wished you hadn’t because you’re immediately bending over to throw up what was left of your rations. The skin has swelled over the stitches, practically swallowing the black thread. The place the knife went in is red and puckered, pus forming at the corners. The sides of your stomach have an odd green tint that you’re trying not to think about too hard, most likely a side effect of whatever chem you’d been dosed with. 

He presses the canteen into your hand and you shake your head from where it is between your knees. “Can’t, radiation.”

He laughs, the sound unkind, “It’s a bit late for that, honey.” You snatch the water out of his hand and gulp down as much as you can stomach. It’s not much, the taste of the water is too metallic and bitter for you. “The place we’re going, they’ve got medicine. We get you there and I’m sure I can work something out with them.”

You know what that really means. He’ll get paid for his bounty and then he’ll get what he wants, whether they offer it freely or not. “If I get there,” you mutter, still holding back the rest of your breakfast. 

“Enough,” he snaps. His hand wraps around your elbow and he yanks you to your feet. “We need to get a move on, power through.” If you had the strength, you’d slap him again. 

“Here you go,” he placed a bowl down on the coffee table, steam still wisping over the edge. He sat down beside you on your couch and brushed some hair away from your face and you leaned into the warmth of his palm. You were freezing but he seemed to think you were burning up. 

“Did you make me soup?” Your voice is groggy with sleep. He helps you into a sitting position and hands you the bowl. 

“No,” he laughs a little and leans back against the cushions, arm spreading out behind you and pulling you into him. “But I warmed it up for you.”

“Cooper,” you whisper. 

“Get a move on!” He shouts from a couple yards ahead. “You either move your ass or I’ll leave you here, because I’m sure as shit not carrying you.”

Oh shit. 

Hallucinating is never a good sign. You would swear on everything above that you were just on your couch with Cooper. You could still feel the warmth of the bowl in your hands, the old plush fabric of your couch on your cheeks. 

You swallowed down bile and did your best to catch up to him. You blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the fog over your eyes, but it didn’t help much. It took you a minute to realize it was from the sweat dripping down your brow and burning against your retinas that was causing the problem. 

You glanced around, surprised to find yourself surrounded by sand. Weren’t you just in the forest? You lifted a shaking hand to try and get rid of the glare of the sun. He was walking closer to you now, keeping a keener eye on you. You trip over your own feet for the inth time and try to keep pushing yourself. 

“Any chance we could dim those?” You squint and point up to the lights hanging above the set and one of the PA’s runs off to fulfill your request. You shake your boots out, tired of all the sand that’s been getting in them. You understand you’re meant to be chasing an outlaw through the “Wild West” but this is getting ridiculous. 

You’ve done about a hundred retakes of this scene, you’re not sure when the director is going to admit defeat but you hope it’s soon. You don’t know why the studio is even bothering to do cowboy stuff anymore. Everyone knows since Coop was forced out of the industry no one’s wanted to see these types of movies. 

The actor you’re working with this time is a dick. He’s commanding and rude, he’s got no sense of boundaries either. Or a nose. 

What the fuck?

He stands over top of you and you finally realize that you’ve collapsed into the sand. You let your head fall back and rub your forehead. One second you’re on a set and the next you’re in the Wastelands at the end of the world. You’re struggling to remember which version of reality is real and which isn’t. 

“I mean it,” he threatens, “I ain’t carrying you.” Your hand flops uselessly to your side, muscles fatigued and the burning in your gut sucking the energy out of you. The only part of yourself you’re physically aware of is the stab, you can’t feel anything else. You can’t twitch your toes or wiggle your fingers, everything is off kilter. “Alright then,” he leans down and yanks your arm over his shoulder. 

Before you’re processing what’s happening the world is being tilted on its axis and you’re being hauled to your feet. You don’t remember much about traveling through the sands. Everything is one long blur of red and orange. When the air in front of you starts to get wavy your eyes lose focus and you black out.

She nearly made it. They’re only about an hour away from this compound he’s been trying to get her to. He sighs, looking down at her prone form in the sand. There’s sweat beading along her forehead, her lips are cracked and split and her face has an unusual tint to it that can’t mean anything healthy. 

He squats down next to her and debates how he wants to go about this. The wound on her stomach has only gotten worse since they started walking, it’s just looking angrier and angrier. With how infected it is, it’s possible that even a stimpak might not help her now. 

He could leave her here, get the bounty, and go on his merry way. He could shoot her, put her out of her misery and leave. Or he could throw her over his shoulder and walk the last hour to the compound, hoping that whatever they have there will help. No matter what choice he makes, it’s her life in his hands. 

His hand drifts forward, brushing the hair off her cheek and lingering on the soft skin there. He sighs before scooping her up and tossing her over his shoulder, she whines, her wound rubbing against his shoulder and probably causing her a heap of pain. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, though, as long as she was feeling something that was a good sign. 

“Nearly there, sweetheart,”; he muttered. He tuned into her shallow breathing, the long pauses before her next breath and let that be what keeps him going. She better not fucking die on him. He grunts, shifting her higher up on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around her legs. 

He could feel how hot she was through each layer of their clothing. This was more than just the sun, she seemed like she was about to combust. “Cooper,” she whimpers. He frowns, she’s been muttering to herself since they left the forest. Talking about things that weren’t possible. 

He’s seen it before, with infection or rad poisoning, the hallucinations start pretty early. Only problem is, he’s never met anyone who lasted as long as her. She should have been dead hours ago. He has no idea what’s keeping her going, but she better fucking hold onto it. 

You laughed, your dress swirling around your legs like a blooming red flower as he spun you through the room. His hand wrapped around your waist and he pulled you back into his chest. You smiled at him and he reached up to brush the hair out of your face. 

Sinatra’s smooth voice cracked and then began to stutter. You laughed again but Cooper just rolled his eyes and walked over to fix the record. You smoothed out your dress and sat down on his couch, reaching for his glass of whiskey on the table. 

You took a sip, hoping for some liquid courage, and regretted it. You’d momentarily forgotten your distaste for alcohol. You tried to fight the tickle in your throat but failed, you probably ruined your lipstick with how hard you started to cough. 

He walked over to you and chuckled, taking his glass from your hands and stealing a swig. “Can’t handle your liquor, honey?”

“I can,” you wiped your mouth and gave him a playful glare. “That just tastes absolutely disgusting.” He smiled and took a seat beside you, arm draped behind you. He crossed a leg over his knee and titled himself to face you. You found yourself taking a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for the question you were going to ask.

“Everything alright?”

You glanced down at your dress and fiddled with the hem of it. “I know the divorce was finalized a few days ago,” Cooper looked away from you, his face hardening, and reached forward to place his glass back on the table. Your heart leapt into your throat at the way he slammed it down. Maybe this was a mistake. 

You know when Barb came over to pick up Janey yesterday they’d gotten into a fight. You didn’t know what exactly it was they fought about, you’re pretty sure it had to do with you. But it didn’t truly matter. She always found a way to rile him up. You’d been hoping that coming by tonight might make him feel a little better,  but he still seemed to have a residual tenseness to him. 

Bringing the divorce up after one of their fights isn’t smart. But you need to talk about this and he’s been avoiding the conversation for a while now. 

He ran a hand down his face and sighed, “What about it?” 

“I was just wondering what that means for us?”

He scoffed and glanced over at you. The look he’s giving you, you’re certain the fight was about you now. He’s never looked this angry with you, “For us?” You nodded and he shook his head, standing up and heading towards his room. “It doesn’t mean anything.” Your heart stuttered in your chest, eyes burning as he slammed the door to his room without another word. You let your head fall into your hands and took a few deep breaths. You knew you shouldn’t have asked that. 

“That was a mistake,” you muttered. 

“The hell are you telling yourself back there?” Your eyes peeled open and you frowned, you seemed to be looking at something that looked a hell of a lot like Cooper’s backside. You tilted your head to the side to find the world upside down and something stabbing repeatedly in your stomach. 

You clawed your way up Cooper’s jacket, shakily holding yourself up so you could stare down at him. “Settle,” he warns, like you’re a damn horse. 

“Put me down,” you mutter, weakly kicking out your feet and trying to get off of him. He just shakes his head and shoves you back down. You let him, not having much fight left in you anyway. 

“Just,” he pauses, “keep dreamin’,” the words seem to pain him and you wonder why. You don’t linger on it long, letting your head hang against his back before the world is going dark again. 

She keeps muttering Cooper in her sleep. He knows what she’s thinking about. Their old times together, when everything was just dandy and the world was as sweet as peaches. Well, he wasn’t some saint back then neither. He had his own problems, vices, same as any man. 

Only difference between then and now is that he doesn’t have to hide who he is. Doesn’t have to worry about the public’s opinion or how his job will be affected if he speaks his mind. Cooper’s no better than the Ghoul. 

He sighs, barely even believing himself. She whimpers in her sleep, the noise strangled and pained. He squeezes her leg, barely even noticing the action, in an attempt to bring some minute form of comfort. She never should have dived in front of that blade, it was stupid of her. 

Course, she couldn’t have known that he would have healed, it’s not like he ever told her that. But she shouldn’t have risked it anyway, he wasn’t worth her dying for.

He can see a large building about a mile ahead as he crests the ridge of the dune he’s walking on. The compound, nearly there. “Hold on,” he’s not sure who he’s talking to but it doesn’t matter. She’s made it this far, she’ll make it a few more minutes.

“Stop right there!” Only one armed guard comes out from behind the gate of the compound. He scoffs, fucking amateurs. He drops her to the ground at his feet with as much care as he can, which isn’t a lot. Slowly, he raises his hands as the guard approaches, the tip of his rifle pressing into the hardened skin of his chest. “State your business.”

Well, someone liked making themself feel important, he was gonna have a field day beating this boy black and blue. For now, he simply smiled at him, unbothered by the gun. “I’ve got a bounty to deliver.”

“Alright, hand it over.” He reached into his pockets and the boy’s trigger finger twitched dangerously. He pulled out the only thing they’d wanted from the body, dog tags, and held them out for the boy to take. He darted forward, trying to snatch them but he yanked them out of the guard’s grip. 

He lunged, wrapping a hand around the barrel of the rifle and yanking it out of the kid’s hands. He tucked the tags back in his pocket and pointed the barrel into the boy’s chest. His face blanched and he held up his shaky hands. “Not so big now, are you?” He kept the gun trained on him and leaned down to scoop her back up. 

She was just cognizant enough to wrap an arm around his shoulder, keeping herself steady. “My friend here needs help. So help me boy, I swear if you fight me, I’ll slaughter everyone in that fucking place and just take what I want.”

He poked the gun into the boy’s chest and he jumped away from him with a frightened little whimper. With a grin, he bullied him into unlocking the gate and leading the both of them inside. 

“Please-”

“Shut the fuck up and get me inside.” It didn’t take long, the kid seemed to be the only guard they had patrolling right now. He led the pair inside the compound and then shoved them inside a room. 

“Here, you can clean her up here.” Before he could say anything the boy was running down the hall and out of sight. He figured they didn’t have long before the rest of the compound was alerted to what was going on. 

He knew enough about the place to know they had a water purifier set up in the back and some odd little ditty they’d created to use water to generate power. Having a radiated ocean behind them was a lot more convenient than Cooper ever would have thought. 

“Alright,” he propped her up on the bed and threw the boy’s rifle to the side. “Wake up, darling,” her eyelashes fluttered but she didn’t move. He used his teeth to pull off one of his gloves and pressed a hand to her clammy head. Still burning up. He cracked his hand across her cheek, chuckling at the way her eyes flew open. 

“Come on,” he hoisted her up and shoved her towards the bathroom in the room. There were holes in the wall, the faucet was really a metal can with holes poked in it, but it was running water. Who was he to complain? He propped her up against the sink and cranked the odd lever in the wall. There was a loud rattling sound before water came pouring out of the rusted can. “Clean yourself up,” he muttered, closing the door behind him.

Barely a minute later he heard a loud crash and the sound of porcelain cracking. He ran back into the bathroom and found her half collapsed against the shower wall. What was left of the decrepit sink was broken on the ground, only the faucet sticking out of the wall. He sighed and looked over at her. 

“I fell,” she muttered, a million little cuts bleeding on her arms. 

He sighed and tugged his hat and gloves off, tossing them onto the bed outside. He came back in, pulling her away from the shower and straightening her up. She clung onto him, broken nails digging dully into his scarred arms. “Come on, sweetheart,” he tugged her shirt up, her arms slipping limply out of it. 

Her wound was practically festered by now, turning a color that he knew meant she didn’t have much time to waste. He undid the button of her pants and knelt down, hands dragging down her legs and pulling her pants with them. She stepped out, hands braced on his shoulders and tripped slightly. He grabbed her thighs, steadying her and stood back up. He wrapped an arm around her waist, stopping her from falling and leading her into the shower. 

She sighed as the tepid water hit her back and he grimaced at the brown water pouring off of her. Maybe he should have let her clean up in that lake. He didn’t do much to help her as she cleaned herself up, mainly just stood there and let her hold onto him so she didn’t hurt herself further. 

He cupped the back of her neck and helped her tilt her head back to clean out the rest of her hair. It was odd, being this close to her. Less because of how stark naked she was, and more because of just how vulnerable she was being. Like a deer rolling over and presenting its neck to a wolf. He could do anything to her, and she just let him hold her like this. 

She leaned forward, clearly tired after moving around so much. Her head fell into his chest and she wrapped her arms around him tighter. She sighed, “I love you, Cooper.”

He flinched, knowing this was just a part of her delirium. Having running water for once was probably just confusing her more, making her think she was right back home. He leaned forward, lips pressed against her forehead and brushing some hair back. “No you don’t, darling.”

There was a knock on the door and he was quick to draw his gun. The door opened and a middle aged woman flanked by two guards stood smiling at him. She took in the gun in his hand but seemed unbothered by it or the threat he posed. “I hear you two need some help.”

“Mhm,” he glanced at the guards behind her but they didn’t seem particularly interested in reaching for their weapons. The woman took her in from where she lay on the bed, panting and sounding like she was struggling to get her breaths in. “I have a bounty to turn in, figured part of my payment could be you giving us a Stimpak. Then, we’ll be out of your hair.”

She laughed and took a step further into the room. He stood up now, gun pointed towards her slightly. She ignored him and took a peek at the festering wound. “She’ll need a lot more than a Stimpak. We can clean her up, don’t worry.” He didn’t get a chance to argue before the guards were coming in. He stepped out of the way as they grabbed you by the arms and legs, hauling you out of the room. 

He made to follow them but the woman placed a hand on his chest. “Sylvie, I run the compound. The bounty?”

He sighed and fished the dog tags out of his pocket, passing them to her. He glanced out the door, trying to track the path they took you down. “She’ll be fine, trust me.”

He laughed and glanced over at her, “No offense, ma’am,” he says the title with a lack of respect that makes her brows furrow in irritation, “but if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s not to trust anyone. No matter how pretty their promises are.”

She gave him a long look before smiling and motioning back towards the hall. “Follow me and we’ll go find her.”

They had a decent set up here. Not as nice as the vaults, clearly, but pretty good for surface dwellers. A decent supply of meds and rations, running water. Everything in the building might be run down or covered in mildew, with cracks in the wall, but it was better than the hovels he’d camped out in. 

They’ve got her set up on cot, a bag of Radaway hooked up to her arm and her hair braided away from her face. They had to cut out the stitches he’d sewed and open the wound back up to flush it out. She’d been patched back up and while the skin still looked irritated it seemed to be doing a lot better than before. 

He’d been keeping a close eye on her breathing and she’d finally stopped wheezing on every inhale. He figured another hour here and they could get the fuck out. These people were starting to bother him. Every half hour or so they would come in to check on her, the women would spray some water on her face and mutter something before running back out. 

He seemed to scare them, enjoying the way they would avoid meeting his eyes. But it wasn’t enough to keep them away from her. Their insistence should’ve had alarm bells going off in his head, but he was already preoccupied worrying about her. He didn’t even notice when Slyvie came to stand beside him. 

“She’ll be alright,” she tried to place a hand on his shoulder but the look he shot her had her stopping short. She cleared her throat uncomfortably and tucked her hands back behind her back. He gave her another long look before going back to staring at the girl on the bed. 

“We have a place for her here, if you’re interested.”

He scoffed, “Room for us, huh?” He let himself picture it for a moment. He wouldn’t fucking stay, of course, he couldn’t. There’s no way, after two hundred years of wandering, that he could be locked down to one decaying old building. Showers or no. But he could always come by to visit her, stay a few nights and then leave again. 

That’s assuming she’d even want him to visit. Didn’t matter, he’d come anyway. But, he couldn’t do that anymore. Couldn’t live that life even if it would be temporary. It just wasn’t in him. He stayed stagnant for too long and two hundred years of bloodshed and loss would drive him insane. 

Sylvie shook her head and frowned. “I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. We have room for her, you have to understand, without a steady supply of Radaway we can’t risk having a ghoul here.” She moved towards her and brushed some hair out of her face, “Think about it.” She walked out and he stared blankly at the cot. 

She shifted on the bed, face pained and mumbling something under her breath. Finally, her eyes fluttered open and she frowned. “Coop? What’s,” she trailed off, struggling to sit up and glancing around the room they were in. “What’s going on?”

“Relax, we’re at the compound.”

She rubbed her forehead and glared at him, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

He swatted her leg and she recoiled, “No, smartass. Just relax, we’ll be out of here soon.” She nodded and leaned back against the pillows they’d given her. It was odd, finally seeing her clean again. He could see clearly just how tired she looked. It was in her eyes, mainly, a weariness towards the world that left her exhausted. 

He’s surprised she’s even made it this far without giving up. She’d been dealt some shit luck, but he supposed it was better she be exposed to how cruel the world was as quickly as possible. She groaned and her head flopped forward. 

“What’s wrong with you now?” 

“God,” she muttered, turning her face away from him and shaking her head. He huffed and sat up straight, glaring at the side of her face. 

“Talk,” he demanded, not in the mood for games. 

“I meant it,” she sounded pained, like the words had to be forced out. “I mean, I hate that I meant it, but I did.”

He rolled his eyes, “Meant what? You’re gonna have to be a little clearer than that, sweetheart.”

“What I said in the shower. I meant it. I haven’t stopped loving you, despite how much I want to. I don’t want to want you anymore, I don’t want that connection to the past to constantly be shoved down my throat.” She sighed and tugged at the braid they’d given her. “You’re cruel and mean and, fuck’s sake, you’ve shot me twice. But you’re also the only thing I’ve got left, and despite how much I want to, because trust me I do, I can’t let you go.”

He sighed and turned away from her. She was still tired, still a bit woozy from the fever. He could see the sweat on her forehead again and knew that whatever this was, was just drug induced. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle her wanting him like this again. 

Being around her already made him vulnerable enough. Whatever twisted connection he held to her now, would be nothing compared to letting her love him again. Two hundred years on his own and she thought she could just come barreling back into his life and everything would be lovely again?

No, that’s not how this world worked. Not anymore. 

He stood up and threw his bag over his shoulder. “Get back to sleep, we’ll leave soon.”

She sighed and sank back against the pillows, shivering as she did so. “You’ll be here?”

“Of course I will, sweetheart.” She nodded, eyes already drifting shut, and turned away from him. He let himself admire her, taking in her relaxed features and soft expression. She reminded him so much of before. Before the world went to shit and before he turned into what he is now. 

He could feel parts of him, the ones he’d buried a long time ago, come up around her. Twisted as they were, how he felt about her before still lingered somewhere within him. But he couldn’t afford the risk that they presented if he did let her back in. He wasn’t even sure she could fully handle him if he did. 

She’d nearly died about five times, most of them because of him, and she’d been up here for such a short time. She’d be better off without him. He walked towards the door, the spurs of his boots clicking against the tile of the floor. He found Sylvie lurking a few halls down and whistled, getting her attention. 

Sylvie turned to him with an expectant smile. “You got room?”

She nodded with an eager smile, “We do. And you’d be compensated, of course.” Before he could question what exactly she was paying him for she snapped her fingers and some guards approached. They handed him a bag that he quickly rifled through. Not only was there enough Radaway to last him at least a month, there was purified water and rations that would keep him going until the next bounty. 

She’ll be better off here. 

He tucked the bag away and smiled at Sylvie, “Pleasure doing business with you, ma’am.”

She gave him a lecherous grin, “You as well,” she nodded and the guards escorted him to the gate. He didn’t let himself look back, knowing he’d just want to go get her. At least now he didn’t have to constantly worry about saving her ass. 

He was better off on his own. Always had been, always would be. 

end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[cloudwisp]

𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲 · 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬

contents: comfort. fluff. wriothesley cheering you up after a rough morning. 900 wc.

Sometimes you wonder if Wriothesley truly does see and hear all—much like his omniscient reputation where he always seems to know what goes on in the Fortress of Meropide every minute of every day.

But he doesn’t need his stream of intel to know that something’s wrong when you enter his office to share a nice meal and freshly brewed cup of tea with him during lunchtime. From the slight slump in your posture and the soft, weary sigh you exhale just seconds before you offer him your sweet smile and plant a greeting kiss upon his lips, he easily figures that your morning didn’t go as smoothly as you hoped.

He observes you for a moment as you place the takeout on the table and situate yourself on his velvet couch and he gathers his scattered paperwork into a neat stack. He can tell that whatever happened before coming here is still weighing heavily on your mind, and he doesn’t like it when you force yourself to smile. “What’s got you down, sweetheart?”

You hadn’t realized you were lost in thought when you turned toward his direction, and much to your surprise, he’s bent at the knee to meet you at face level to give you his full and undivided attention. You muster another smile and shake your head. “Hm? It’s nothing.”

Try as you might to hide your feelings, Wriothesley doesn’t believe a word of it. Not for one second. His tone of voice softens as he gently finds your hand to hold and his thumb rubs small circles over your skin. “Come on, I know something’s wrong. Don’t shut me out.” His other hand reaches up to brush strands of hair away from your face and tenderly tuck them behind your ear.

There’s no secret you can keep from him—he notices every little detail when it comes to you. He loves you more than life itself and he cares deeply about you and believes that his duty as your boyfriend was to ensure your safety and happiness. And so he looks at you, waiting in silence until you’re ready to confide in him. Like he knew if he waited, the truth would eventually come out.

You feel a wave of comfort wash over you when he cradles your cheek in his hand and you lean into the warmth of his touch. After a breath, you decide to tell him about what transpired at your workplace in the morning. How your boss keeps assigning you small and tedious tasks when you already have a full plate and deadlines to meet yet he refuses to hear anything you have to say.

Wriothesley listens intently to your venting and he nods agreeably with you. “And you’ve already explained to him that what he’s demanding is a little extreme, right? You’ve been trying to tell him this, but it’s still not sinking in?” He takes your sigh in defeat and your head falling forward as your response. “That would make anyone upset, sweetheart.”

He knows that any mentions of him wanting to have a friendly chat with your supervisor is only going to further upset you, so he’ll keep that to himself and quietly take care of it in his own time because he doesn’t intend to dismiss it. He would hate to see you in a troubled situation like this in the foreseeable future, and if he’s able to pull some strings behind the scenes then he’ll do anything within his power to make your life a little bit easier.

You perk up when you feel him lay a kiss on the top of your head and he returns to his full height, making you crane your neck at him curiously when you make out his smirk in the dim lighting. He offers you his hand and nods behind him. “I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up.”

Your heart melts at his sweet gesture and you allow him to lead the way. With a few strides to his desk and quick work of his hands, a soft and romantic melody flows from the record player. A small laugh escapes you and he sees your real, genuine smile for the first time today. He chuckles when you begin to make sense of his plan to lighten the mood, and he reels you in by the waist and holds you close to him as you both start to slowly sway to the lovely tunes.

The ever-present smile on your face means that it’s working, your head gently rests against his broad chest and your sighs become one of contentment—all of your worries and frustrations fading away into nothingness. It’s just you and him, a feeling of safeness and belonging found in his embrace as his love wraps entirely around you.

“You know, I didn’t peg you for a dancer.” You tease, gazing back into those deep whirls of blue that hold all of his adoration and affection for you. If only you knew the depths of his feelings, perhaps he’ll save that conversation for another day. 

A quiet and happy hum sounds from his throat and he presses himself closer to you, giving your hand a light squeeze. “What can I say? Love makes you do all sorts of things.”

[worldofkuro]

Drowning

Notes: I’m writing this with Painted Smile! Alastor. I just want you all to know that, because if I were to write him like you weren’t with him from the beginning , he would care as much. This is an ask from  @kimoko-james, I hope this little scenario will sooth your heart,  my dear. Ask: Could you maybe write something about how we lost a pet close to us?

You were crying, holding your pillow against your chest.

It was so painful, you felt like drowning.

Alice has given you a kitten for your birthday. You always wanted a pet for yourself. You would cherish it more than your own life. He was so little when Alice gave him to you. He could almost fit in your palm. He was meowing as you nuzzled against him.

His little paws were so cute, touching your face like it was trying to remember your face.

But then, he was gone.

You didn’t know what happened, he was just… no longer by your side. You wouldn’t hear his little paws on the floor anymore. You wouldn’t hear him meowing at Alastor because the man put him back on the floor so he wouldn’t dirty his suit with his fur.

“ Darling?”

You sniffed, turning your head toward Alastor. He didn’t turn on the light, keeping your room in the dark which you silently thank him. You didn’t want him to see you like that and yet…

He walked toward your bed, sitting next to you, caressing your wet cheeks. You let go of your pillow before going on his laps, sighing in bliss when you felt his arms wrapped around your frame.

“ He is gone…”

He listened to you as you poured out your heart to him. You kind of expected Alastor to mock you. He wasn’t a fan of animals. He didn’t understand your love for them, but he respected it. You were having so many bad thoughts about yourself. Did you make any mistakes? 

“ How lucky of him.”

You jerked your head toward Alastor. Did he say what you really thought he said? You felt anger swirling inside your body. You weren’t strong enough to play any games today. You opened your mouth but he kissed you quickly, making you shut up.

“ I’m jealous. He knew you all his life. All his memories, as short as they are, are filled with your smiles, your kisses. How can he not be lucky?” he smiled at you, moving away a lock of your hair. “ Come on, dearest. Don’t be sad for giving him the best life he ever had? Being loved by you is the best thing to feel.” He kissed your forehead as you looked down.

Your pet was gone, you would no longer hold him against your chest, you would no longer call his name and beamed as he reacted to it. You would feel pain for losing him. But knowing that the little life he had with you made him at least a little happy, soothed some of your pain.

You looked at Alastor who was still looking at you, observing the pain in your face. You knew he hated seeing you in this state but you couldn’t help it. You felt tears gathered once more in your eyes.

Alastor kissed your eyes, making your tears drop, before standing up and walking toward the record player and putting a vinyl on it. You looked at him as soft music began to feel the air. He walked back toward you, before holding his hand toward you. You took his hand after wiping your eyes and gasped as he tugged you against his chest.

He began to balance you from right to left, softly against him. You kept your head against his chest, listening to his beating heart. 

“ I want you to smile after the song is over.”

You hiccuped,looking at him, not sure of yourself. He was so obsessed with your smile but you didn’t know if you were ready to smile right now. As you felt dread when the song was coming to an end, Alastor restarted it. 

You looked at him, blinking. He kept dancing with you, smiling down at you, going to the record player each time the song was coming to an end to restart it.

You closed your eyes as his arms caged you against him. You knew he didn’t like you in this state, mostly because it means you weren’t thinking about him, but you know he would do anything to make you smile.

And just like, you smiled a little bit. Just like the song that was on repeat, you would start again your life, bearing your loss. But you wouldn’t be alone, Alastor would always be here to keep you from drowning.

[blckbrrybasket]

ᯓ★ 𝐉𝐉 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

SFW

- 0.1% of top Sublime listeners on spotify

- does not have spotify premium and tries every trick to get around the ads, half the time he ends up groaning loudly over them to drown them out.

- one of the kids who went on youtube 24/7 to look up codes to get free things from vending machines.

- spaces out constantly

- has never had a hangover. nobody knows how he does it and he says he has a trick to it. he doesn’t. he just doesn’t get them 😭

- says harry potter, maze runner, hunger games, etc. are for nerds yet has been caught trying to read them over pope’s shoulder.

- games > movies > books

- when he fished as a kid JJ used to put his hands in the bait bucket to hold the worms + he fully believed that worms could multiply if they’re cut up.

- surprisingly good at english

- hates how wetsuits fit and would rather freeze than feel the material drag on his skin.

- his favorite food is spaghetti and steak (separately or together he’s not picky)

- doesn’t have good table manners but gets so excited over a home cooked meal.

- extremely loyal, he would rather die than rat out his friends. also hates snitches!

- instead of buying muscle tanks he cuts them himself from old t-shirts his dad has owned for decades.

- couldn’t buy a punching bag so he used one of those inflatable punching bags until it popped.

- hopping off the last one JJ pretends to punch everything in the vicinity of him.

- has sunk his old canoe at least five times and had to pull it out of the lake every time.

- doesn’t hug that often but when he does he makes it worth while he’s a massive bear hugger.

- uses an ungodly amount of abbreviations when texting. says ‘omg’ out loud unironically

- says he won’t do something for you or complains about doing it but if you threaten to go do it he jumps up and runs to do it.

- started working on cars when he was a kid watching his dad work under the hood.

- cannot keep plants alive to save his life

- certified yapper!!

- stopped using a juul after a few years, saying that weed is natural so it’s better for you. “mother nature grows it so it has to be good for you…like potatoes.”

SFW (serious)

- undiagnosed adhd not because he has a lot of energy but because he fidgets a lot, has self restraint issues (may say things not socially acceptable in a situation or blurt things out), difficulty controlling emotions, etc.

- he has anxiety (pretty sure rudy said this was canon!)

- very awkward with emotions (canon) shit at comforting people he loves but he still tries. he doesn’t know how to deal with emotions after how his dad raised him.

- unfortunately wouldn’t want therapy for a very long time. he wouldn’t accept the offer until long after the events of hunting treasures.

- has very mixed feelings about his dad

- wanted siblings as a kid to keep him company but after his mom left JJ hated the idea of his family growing. he only saw it as an opportunity for more people to love him. John B is his brother though, through and through. JJ is a firm believer that blood doesn’t equal family.

- it takes a lot for JJ to open up but when he does he will forever trust you.

- that being said do not betray him because he WILL be looking for revenge even if it’s petty

- sometimes he lets himself dream about what life would have been like if he was born a kook. thinks it would have been better because at least he could have bought things to make himself happy.

- as much as he wants money he wouldn’t trade his life with his friends for anything.

- doesn’t like letting his trauma define him and brushes it off anytime someone brings it up.

[cameronspecial]

Barry leaves, asking Rafe to watch his sister, who overhears and objects. Despite her attempts to seduce Rafe, He declines. That night after Barry goes to sleep he confesses his love to her and they have passionate slow sex

Whispered I Love Yous

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: SMUT

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.1K

Masterlist

Rafe has always seen Y/N as Barry’s little sister and it annoys her to no end. Every attempt she makes to get the year older man into her bed is turned away. Even in her best outfit during a party, he still doesn’t want her. “I’ve told you before, Honey. I’m not going to sleep with you, so stop trying,” he declines. She groans, stepping away from him and buttoning up her shirt to hide her breasts. The only person she wants to see is Rafe. She pouts, “You are no fun.” She storms away to get a drink and misses the want in his eyes. It kills him to say no to her because everything in him wants to pound into her until she forgets her name, except his need to have more with her stops him. She only wants sex and Rafe wants love added to the mix. So he denies them both what they need because if he is going to have her, he craves every part of him. 

She returns to the couch area to find Rafe in conversation with her brother and does a little eavesdropping. “I need you to watch over her for a bit. I got to head back home for a second to take care of business and I don’t trust your Kook friends around her,” Barry orders, stuffing some of the drugs he hasn’t sold yet into Rafe’s pocket. Rafe nods, “You got it.” She rushes between the two and faces her brother. “No, no, no. I don’t need a babysitter. I am eighteen, Bare. Plus, Rafe doesn’t even like me,” she complains. Barry chuckles, “You don’t have a choice. You are going to sit on that couch where Rafe can see you and listen to what he tells you to do. If you don’t, then you can find another place to sleep.” She can’t respond because he storms out of Tannyhill to head home. “I-” Rafe tries to tell her she doesn’t hate him, but she leaves before he can finish talking. On her way to the couch, she grabs a random Touron and shoves him on the furniture. She straddles the man, beginning to make out with him. Anger boils within Rafe and he wants to shove her off of him, except a client comes over to make a purchase from him.

———

Rafe didn’t see her after Barry returned and she was allowed to leave the couch. He assumed that she went to the guest room she was given for the night with the Touron and Rafe hated the thought, so he tried his best to push her out of his mind. It works until Barry goes to bed and he doesn’t have to sell coke or a party to occupy his mind. He looks around the room at the cups and beer bottles littering the floor and thinks about starting to clean before he decides to leave it for tomorrow. 

He heads upstairs, passing the room Y/N is sleeping in. A noise coming from the room causes him to pause. “Rafe, I love you.” He can’t believe it. Y/N just moaned out he loved her. She must not have brought the Touron up. He knocks on the door and doesn’t get a response. His ear presses to the door to see if he can hear any shuffling and when he hears nothing, he does what he probably shouldn’t and opens it. He finds her asleep in bed; fully clothed, so she couldn’t have been masturbating. 

The words he heard her mumble in her sleep gave him the confidence to do what he was about to do next. He rests his hand on her shoulder and gently shakes her awake. Her eyebrows knit together as her eyes flutter open, “Rafe, what are you doing here?” 

His confession rushes out of his mouth. “I don’t hate you. I just can’t have only sex with you. I need more with you because I love you. I want dates and whispering I love you when we wake up in the morning. I declined your advances because I want a relationship with you and I thought you only wanted sex.” 

He holds his breath as he waits for her response. He knows the moment that she fully wakes up and processes his words. She wraps her arms around him, bringing her lips to his. He is pulled forward and her legs tangle around him so she is flush against him. His hips grind against her, causing her to moan out in pleasure. They quickly shed their clothes and he sees her preparing to go down on him. He keeps her in place, “As much as I would love to feel your mouth, I need to be inside of you. We will have plenty of time to show each other how good we are with our mouths.” Her head bobs at his words and she watches while he uses his hand to guide his dick inside of her. She gasps as he thrusts into her. The pace is slow and deep. A testament to the feelings brewing between them. 

The positions they are in allow them to stare into each other’s eyes. He thinks about speeding up; however, he feels how she clenches around him and knows this is the pace for the moment right now. He brings his hips back out, easing himself back in to hit that part inside of her that has her moaning louder. Tears brim in her eyes and worries floods him. He brings a hand to her cheek, “Are you okay, Honey? Am I hurting you? Should I stop?” She shakes her head vehemently and grips his bum, helping him into her. “Don’t stop. I’m just really happy to be doing this right now with you because… Because I love you.” Love fills him completely and he uses his other hand to caress her arm. He brings their lips together and then rests his forehead forward against hers. “I love you too, Honey. So much,” he promises. She kisses him with a grin on her face. 

They continue their movements until they are brought to the edge. Once they come down from their high, he pulls out of her and carries her to his own bedroom after checking that the coast is clear. He tucks her into his bed and goes to get a damp towel from the bathroom.

He cleans her off, getting them both robes from the back of his door. He helps it onto her and they cuddle into each other as they fall asleep.

———

“I love you, Honey,” a voice whispers. This pulls her from her slumber. Her eyes flick to the window to find golden light trying to shine through the curtain. She looks toward the figure beside her and she smiles. She presses her lips to his, “I love you too.” 

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[longing-for-rain]

I don’t even understand the character Sokka stans are stanning. It’s not even Sokka. It is like they are taking the big strong tough guy Sokka thinks he is and acting like that is his actual character when it isn’t. I know not all of them are z*kkas but it does seem like atla renaissance and z*kka popularity added to this trend of taking Katara traits and giving them to Sokka instead

Me neither? I honestly don’t dislike Sokka as a character. I never particularly related to him like I do with other characters, but what frustrates me is how the fandom treats him in relation to other characters, especially Katara.

I definitely agree with you that there was a noticeable shift with the ATLA renaissance in 2020. I was in the fandom long before then and the biggest shift I saw was character bashing taking a faux-progressive spin. For example, Mai bashing used to involve calling her ugly and abusive, but shifted into shoving her into sapphic side ships for the aesthetic instead (while still making jabs at her appearance and demeanor, of course, because people can’t be normal about lesbians). As for Katara, it’s even worse. I’ll get into that.

I remember that historically, Katara has been one of the most bashed and hated on characters in the fandom. People would call her bossy and self important, say she was too emotional, that she was too rude, that she didn’t care about other people’s problems, etc. It was blatant back then, but I honestly see the same trends now, just more covertly. People acting like Katara is not as mature as Sokka, not “mom friend,” or otherwise downplaying the responsibilities she had to take on, fundamentally, are operating on the same logic. They do it in a very jokey way a lot of the time or even act like they’re “letting her be a kid” but really it’s just erasing the nuance of her character in the same way overtly misogynistic fans once did.

Because here’s the thing. We can all recognize Katara was forced into a parental role at an early age and that wasn’t fair to her. But acting like that was something that randomly happened on its own is not addressing the problem. But these fans refuse to address the problem by answering the question of why Katara constantly has to take this role…because that would require them to hold Sokka and Aang accountable for their actions and these people will not do that.

I really do think this is tied in with zukka too. I will say that I’m not a zukka anti. I actually really enjoy some zukka content because it can give a refreshing perspective. But I do see a lot of characterizations that are deeply annoying because they really seem like they’re trying to replace Katara. They want the Zutara dynamic but want slash. And I know these characterizations are no longer unique to zukka, but I would agree they were popularized by it.

Just off the top of my head:

The character who is the first of the group to trust Zuko? That was Katara. Sokka was the one in favor of leaving him to die whereas Katara trusted him twice during Book 2.

The character who emotionally connects with Zuko? That’s Katara.

The character who Zuko feels safest letting his guard down around? That’s Katara.

The character who helps Zuko heal from his trauma? That’s Katara.

The character known for showing the most compassion to others? That’s Katara.

The character who primarily bears the burden of having to step up into a parental role? That’s Katara.

The character who represses their emotions to be strong for others? That’s Katara.

And yet, for some reason, there is this new wave of fans who take all of these traits central to Katara and give them to Sokka instead. It’s just frustrating. Sokka is his own character. He’s different. I really just think this is a new brand of misogyny where we take traits like these for granted in female characters but overemphasize them in male characters.

[atlasshrugd]

My thoughts on Bridgerton Season 3 Part 1 (Spoilers)

Hi guys! I have reached astounding levels of brainrot over this season (having rewatched Polin scenes until I am blue in the face) so here I am going to air my thoughts out in probably an incoherent manner. Thank you!

Off the bat:

. Amazing, stunning, beautiful chemistry. Nicola and Luke are really the fucking MVPs. Their chemistry is undeniable to the point where I NEED MORE. It kind of seems like they didn't have enough scenes together, but maybe it just felt that way because of all the other plotlines going on.

. Speaking of plotlines, I am sorry to say that I found all of them unnecessary and dull. I just wanted more Polin, I couldn't stand the Featherington drama, Mondrich drama, Queen drama, or even Bridgerton drama. Francesa's story was probably the most significant, but I felt it was still very dull!

. However, that won't turn me off from loving this season because I have been waiting EONS for Polin to get together! Someone needs to sedate me!

. LET'S TALK ABOUT COLIN "MANWHORE" BRIDGERTON. I have to say that while I was with everyone else when the news broke and hated the idea, I honestly did not mind it. I found it a good and impactful way to show the difference between meaningless sex vs actual intimacy and love. I liked that Colin was exploring himself and thinking he had to be more "manly" like society dictates, but that his genuine and deep connection with Pen (literally his only real friend aside from his siblings) made that pale in comparison. I LOVED how he was trying to get it off at the brothel but couldn't even GET IT UP when having a threesome. That made me laugh! I was like DAMN girl Penelope you did a number on this man. He is Colin "17 cities" Bridgerton yet ONE kiss from a virgin is enough to turn his world upside down and make him question everything he knows???? Hmmm yeah more of that please.

. Oh, carriage scene. If I loved you less I might be able to talk about you more. I can only say that I've broken my rewind button. It’s got CRACK in it. COLIN'S FACE when he realizes that THIS is the woman I will devote myself to for the rest of my life. He is done with his gallivanting ways and wants to literally just be with one woman for the rest of his life. I feel like without his promiscuous ways and bravado in the earlier episodes, this realisation would not hit as hard. It's no longer just the puppy love that he had with Marina, or the vacant lust he had with other women on his travels, but a true, real, meaningful connection that makes him LOSE HIS MIND. I like that that distinction is VERY clear and leaves no room for doubt that he is CHOOSING her.

. I love that he is “experienced” and that she isn't, but she’s able to bring him to his knees with one kiss! That dynamic is always tea, I fear! Also, I LOVE that my girl Penelope is able to get her needs met by someone who KNOWS what he’s doing. I don’t know what people are saying by “they have no chemistry.” To me, they have chemistry falling out of their ass!

. That being said, I am so scared about the LW reveal!! Holy shit, they are engaged and she still hasn't told him!! Which is different in the books. But LW is different in the show + the Marina thing didn't happen in the books. However, I love that they made LW less scathing in this season. She actually compliments all the debutantes and is really more of a reporter over a tabloid (except for that little thing she wrote about Colin, lol! But she was right!). I feel like Colin's hatred for LW is a little overstated. LW saved him from being trapped in a loveless marriage full of lies. I am shaking to see how this goes! Bring on the angst!

. I actually surprisingly liked the Cressida and Eloise friendship, I liked how it became a vehicle to show another side to Eloise, a more tolerant, compassionate, and realistic side. I loved Eloise and Pen's relationship this season. While they are fighting, they still love and try to protect each other. It's really the secondary love story of the season. We love to see it. I just hope Eloise doesn't fuck with her too much in part 2! (Btw, hate that this season is split into two parts! How am I going to wait until June 13th??? Tf???)

. Also, am I the only one thinking that they are building to Cressida having feelings for Eloise? Their connection and Cressida's sincerity towards Eloise is a little too real. I feel like by going into her stifling home life, they are inching towards that. Also, I am guessing that Cressida will end up marrying Debling, who will be gone so much and won't put any demands on her, so it will more be a marriage of practicality that allows Cressida to explore her feelings. We shall see!

. LET ME JUST SAY I SCREAMED when Penelope put her hand in Colin's hair. I remember in an interview Nicola saying that it was her idea to do that. THANK THE HEAVENS FOR THIS WOMAN !!!!! Because that was actually the hottest part of the season, there I said it. I CHEERED!! And if that was improvised by them, then that means that LUKE'S SLUTTY FACE was also his design!! I cannot thank these two enough for their service to this country!! Also, give Nicola an Oscar right now. I have never seen a more realistic sex scene and depiction of female desire tbh (oh god the moans). Especially in Bridgerton. This was the most real and sincere sex scene they've had yet. Take all the awards!

. LET'S TALK ABOUT COLIN'S FEELINGS. I've seen some people say that the season felt off (which I understand, I think it's bc of all the unnecessary plotlines) because Colin's feelings developed too fast. Let me just say that I DO NOT AGREE. I thought this was an entirely natural and logical progression of events. Think about it. We are not watching a "friends to lovers" arc from scratch. They have had TWO SEASONS of the "friend" part. We have had to watch ignorance, rejection, obliviousness, and misunderstanding between these two. Finally, in their own season, all that groundwork (laid over multiple years) has the chance to come off. It's like a spark that finally lights the embers. Their love has been smouldering under the surface for so long and all it takes is a match (their kiss) to make it spark into flame. Colin has felt so deeply for Penelope for a long time, and indeed they are best friends. He has always admired her as a woman and friend and felt comfortable with her. It wasn't until he kissed her that he realised those feelings were much more layered than he supposed. The fact that he dreams about her and that kiss, and ends up growing regretful and jealous of helping Pen attract other men, is absolutely right. The fact that he tries to get over her by going back to brothels but it DOESN'T WORK is absolutely genius! His love and desire for her, and thereby the realization of his feelings for her, is what propels him to look into himself and find that what he has been trying to be has been a lie. It's in that scene where he's with all the other Rakes. He considers himself, at heart, to be a gentleman - unlike the rest of them, and unlike what he's been presenting. He realizes that all the escapades he had only afforded him vacant experiences. He knows the difference between shallow and real connection now. This is when he decides to stop being someone he's not and embrace himself finally, just as he embraces his feelings for Pen! It's a great moment for his character development. I will be the one to say that by the realization of his feelings for Pen, he comes to the realization of himself.

. ONE MORE THING. I have seen some viewers complain about Penelope being the one to "beg" Colin to kiss her. I think these are more new fans who don't know the books, but I am TIRED of seeing this. The fact that Penelope is finally voicing her desires to the object of her desire after never speaking her mind or asking for what she wants, IS empowering! She is finally taking control of her own destiny! Unabashedly asking for what she wants! Being truthful with herself and brave enough to voice it! That is my GIRL. I was so proud of her. It was at that moment Colin knew that he was fucked (look at his face after he decides to do it). MM HM. That is good shit. I don't see her "begging" for it to be degrading. This was a beautiful moment between two close friends who trust each other more than anything. And that was the match that sparked all those repressed and ignored feelings!

. ALSO, I do not understand why people wanted Penelope to fall on her face after the carriage! WTF? Sure, in the books it’s fine, but actually seeing it??? Do they realise how humiliating and painful that would be? I’m so glad they didn’t do that in the show (and I hope it doesn’t happen in the next part). She is TINY, and do you see that huge ass gap between the carriage and the ground? If she fell, she would scrape her whole hands and face and it would be bloody. Why do people want Pen to suffer in humiliation even more?? It would not be funny.

. ACTUAL LAST THING: I actually LOVED Colin’s dream confession to Penelope, maybe as much as the carriage confession! “I’ve not been able to sleep, to eat, to speak…these days. My entire thoughts consumed by our kiss, by you.” I just loved Luke’s delivery of these lines. Btw, that dream was horny af! 

. So, in this way, I don't really understand the complaints about Colin or Polin in this season. I thought it was very well done and well acted. The only complaint is that I needed MORE. MOREEEEE

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. I'm afraid I have nothing to say about the other storylines because I was resisting the urge to skip them the whole time. My heart lies with Polin and that's what I am focusing on. Thank you for reading!

[0mysticmidnight0]

~Mystically Broken Au - Chapter 6~

This chapter is very short, sorry-!

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Warning: Heavy ANGST, thoughts about suicide, parent deaths, etc.

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Leo's POV:

What is wrong with me? Why is this happening in the first place? We separate for YEARS and the only time I get back, Donnie gets taken away? I didn't even know that was possible. It was because of them, THEM.

But, doesn't this always make it my fault? I was the one who let him get taken away. Even argued with him.. let his lab get robbed! How could I? I should've died the day I ran out of food. I looked for help. But no one cared to even glance at me.

When I saw some filthy guy scam that old lady. I was about to get all the food I could ever need.. poor guy. He died a jerk. Oh well.

I can't help but think of Dad. Everytime I decide to take a life, I see my dad in the corner of my eye, looking at me with disgust and sadness. As well as guilt.

~Flashback~

That scammer got what was coming to him. I wipe the blood off my odachi as I take a bite out of a piece of fruit.

I see my dad in the corner of my eye. But his gaze wasn't filled with love.

"Is this what you wanted? Don't look at me like that. I had to do it. I hate you. You're just a shell of a man. A HUSK! You have no right to judge me, splinter."

"You're not my son. My son would never hurt another person wheth it be for his survival or not. From this point forward, I have no son with the name 'leonardo'. "

He looked so ashamed. Like I was disgrace. He slowly walked back into the shadows.

"Pops.. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry! Dad! ..."

I felt so small, I found myself in an empty room.. looking for him, just like I did when I was little, when I was scared.

"Dad..? Please come back..!".

~Present~

I didn't realize the tears that stained my cheeks. "pathetic" I murmur to myself. I'm sure my father- No. Splinter, would agree.

I turn my head to see them, looking at me.

"What?"

I didn't mean to say it so coldly.

~Your POV~

When I went to apologize to Leo, I heard him screaming and apologizing, who was he apologize to? I try to get closer to hear. But he saw me, he wiped his tears and looked at me.

It's like he wanted help. Should I help him? What if he pushed me away further? No, I can't let that happen.

"Any progress on finding Donnie?"

He growled.

"You Don't get to call him that."

"Donatello, did you find his whereabouts?"

"No. Not yet. You should leave, we don't need you getting into other people's business. So go home."

"No. I promised I'd help you and I will."

"If you really wanted to help, you'd know what's good for you and leave."

You were about to fight back when you looked at his face, was he pleading..?

"okay."

You replied as you shut the door behind you.

He knew he made a mistake, but what's one more mistake to his already mistaken life? He was a mistake. He knew that. But you.. you still persisted. He admired it.

I got some of the ideas from my friend:

@pvddinpawzzz

[crucifiedbymypriestess]

Hey, it's me again! As you know, I was excited to write Dark!Charles, and these are some quotes from before he drown in the darkness of his conscience, he is fr fr an absolute lost cause.

None of those works are published yet, but it'll be on AO3 soon. I'm also will posting about other cherik FICS.

Once again, forgive my English, I also translated it with Google this time. Feel free to correct any grammar/language misspells.

With a broken heart and a recent abandonment, Charles is tempted to be no longer fearing his own telepathy.

Some quotes:

"I keep asking myself if there is something about me that makes everyone abandon me. If my love, my emotions and my words always show that I'm so desperate, that my mind wants to grab his, dig in my nails and turn them both completely into one, because only then my love could be understood."

"...But I liked it. I liked that because only then I can feel a pain so deep, that I certainly call it mine, and only mine.

Only in that way I can feel my heart being only mine, my mind only listening to me, and for a brief moment I only..."

"It hurted me, but he left as if nothing had happened, with his figure upright. I remember crying and complaining about the sharp, dull pain in my back.

My mind was desperately trying to reach his, but his direction was empty and quiet. But my projections never stopped, they were transmitted loud and clear only to Erik. Just...

Please, Erik, turn around, please look at me. Don't go, Erik, please. I love you, I love you, I'm sorry. Please don't abandon me, I can resist more, I will never complain, but stay.

Erik disappeared leaving a trail of red smoke like everyone else next to him, but my heart felt that Erik turned into ashes until his body mixed with the sand of the beach in Cuba."

"Maybe if I resist, in the end there may be a reward for me, a little more and maybe something will shine in front of my eyes.

Enduring so much pain, I can't give up now, just a little more and in the morning I will have a happy ending, and I will only be able to hear myself, and I will feel my own hands, I will feel my own skin, I will be loved and kissed, and I will like it, I will. . I will love, and it will tickle me, I am so sure. Just a bit more of waiting."

"I hate him.

Why it has be so difficult? I'm tired, and I really wonder if this is really necessary, if the times I see the love of my life again, it will be to be judged and led into a fight that I don't want.

Maybe it's best for us to say our goodbyes and bury our love, stay with our good memories..."

"Help your people, Charles. If you owe anyone anything, it's us. You can't keep defending humans, Charles! They plan to exterminate us!

I don't want to be anyone's hero, Erik. I... I'm serious, I'm tired."

"I don't owe anything to you, or anyone else, Erik. Why is so difficult to understand that for once I would like to be the one who can choose himself? Are you going to steal my life and the decisions in it like you stole my sister?"

"I never asked about this, I don't want it. I don't want to be the one, to rescue anyone, please, just... everyone go on their own."

And that's all, lol. Me on my way to give old men abandonment issues. Still not satisfied with the writing, but I'm getting better time to time, I'm getting there!

[whatthefuckisasweep]

RvB: Restoration Thoughts

i don't hate restoration, it's honestly pretty alright for what RT was dealing with, but there is one thing that confuddles me the most: the characters "getting what they want"

I understand RT was trying to tie up the loose ends of the characters - everything kind of comes to this perfect standstill of an ending. yet, to me, it makes no sense.

the point of red vs blue was friendship and growth of the characters within the framework of church's story. the end that makes sense involves seeing all of them after they have come together through thick and thin. I know that wasn't possible given the alotted amount of time, but something doesn't sit right with just... giving the characters what they wanted in the first place.

because, here's the thing: it's not even what they want anymore. i would have much rather seen them realize what they wanted was not what they needed.

sarge dying isn't that horrible to me. i liked what he told grif and simmons, it was just so out of nowhere. i think it would have been better for sarge to try to sacrifice but have grif and simmons stop him and almost die because of it - kind of like s8. something like that, but he realizes through grif and simmons being a leader isn't about winning, but more keeping the morale of his men. and that grif saving him so many times is a testament to how well he does as a leader. i like people saying sarge should retire. i don't know how'd they'd get there, but i like it. just be like. "you know what, boys? I'm... done with this" at the end and they're like "WHAT?" and sarge is like, "heh. don't act too damn shocked, now." and then make a joke about his age or somethng lmfao.

grif wanted to be "discharged". i would have loved to see him just... stay working with the guys given the choice to leave freely. and not just because there is a mission, or "for old time's sake". nah, because he loves them. of course, he wouldn't say that out loud. but i wanted to see grif charge headfirst into danger, like he had in s16 and so many times before, and have it BE for church and caboose. i love his little message to caboose at the end for that.

simmons who got to "be a leader"... this one i don't have as much qualms with, but i still feel like simmons could have realized what he needed wasn't to be a leader, but to have others believe in him. sarge telling him that he's proud should have still happened imo, but simmons could have turned down being a leader and offered it to Lopez or donut or something, it would have shown how much he grew. Not only that, but i imagine he would say something like "what, and leave grif unattended while i corral all you guys? no way." all snootily. could be a great to diss grif while everyone's in shock

donut honestly got a great arc in s17, so i'm kind of OK without him. but i LOVE him so like. simmons promotes him to the leader, as kind of a callback to that time they did the sarge, lopez, simmons competition in s3. that way he can still kind of be an admiral. :) and he's not a rookie anymore. and he holds like little fairs on Chorus where they do ring toss or something to do with throwing haha

lopez being donut's second in command would be HILARIOUS. like lopez i think could have had more. he's so underappreciated, and having him be like some kind authority figure would be so warranted. especially with donut's bad spanish skills. oh my god.

doc was SO slandered. i know he wanted to go out HELPING people but i think the whole thing about DOC WAS THAT HIS WHOLE THING WAS NOT ABOUT HELPING OTHERS BUT BEING FORGOTTEN AND CAST ASIDE. i think doc should get recognition and eventually be a bad doctor (still) at General Doyle's hospital, where him and omalley work at the mental health ward (sometimes successfully and sometimes unsucessfully due to omalley). or maybe he could come in at a moment where they're at the lowest to save the day. i would have loved a highlighted doc moment. if he had to die, at least do it ON SCREEN so he gets the recognition.

church & tex ... their end was pretty alright, i don't have that much to say. I think them dying like that was good, knowing that their friends loved them and that caboose was the one to restore everything to peace. i think that was the right choice and what they needed.

caboose was pretty ace in this, he was the only one that i was like. i don't really have much to say. i would have maybe put more caboose washington moments, considering they were the only two active blues left. and maybe more caboose church moments, just to have church say he's his best friend one last time.

tucker got SO sleighted. bro got like 4 lines of dialogue. and one of them was being tortured for 10 YEARS like are you kidding? i think tucker being the Great Destroyer was one of the best things that they called back to, i wish they did something for tucker about him settlin down and wanting to be a better father for junior, and more scenes with church and tucker. the chorus fight they had.... i would havevloved to see them argue about just LEAVING the blues like that.

wash and lina didn't got much, but i did like wash being in hospital and needing to let go of the freelancers. i wish that lina and him could have had that scene together in hospital. i wish the blues were more invovled with that. i think what wash needed was family; and to see more of that would have felt more satisfying.

anyways, that's my scrambled thoughts on the whole thing after thinking on it a little longer. it doesn't really matter, because based on epsilon's recap, it oculd have all been a simulation anyways, but, :P yeah

[otakusheep15]

Hi there! I recently got diagnosed with discoid meniscus and I have an MRI and a surgery soon (as well as physio)

This hurts a lot and walking up stairs or a 10 minute walk is dreadful for me

Could you do it with the obey me bros pls? I don't see a lot about my condition much or at all, so it would be nice if u could bring some light to it :33

I actually have a pretty similar condition to you Anon! I've had about three surgeries to reconstruct my knees, so now I have a bunch of metal in them. I completely get the pain, and I'd be more than happy to write about it!

I am gonna try and keep this a bit more generic, but the reader/MC will have a major leg injury. Talks of surgery and injury will be included, but the reader/MC has not yet had any surgeries, just considering it.

Lucifer

Unlike most of his brothers, Lucifer is more practical about your injury. He's the only one who knew about it before the exchange program started, so he took the necessary precautions before you even showed up.

His biggest contribution is that he modified the stairs in the main hall. If you have a wheelchair/mobility aid, he cast a spell on the stairs so that they'll turn into a ramp so that it's easier for you to get up. He also added extra handrails/grips along the stairs so that you can hold on if needed.

He's very protective of you out in public. He constantly has his eyes on you, watching for any signs of discomfort. Constant reminders from him to take breaks when you need, and he punishes anyone who makes fun of you for needing a break.

If your legs ever feel sore, Lucifer is great at massages. He also regularly studies up on physical therapy-type exercises to help strengthen your legs. He never pushes you, but he does encourage you to do these exercises when you can.

If you ever consider surgery, Lucifer will help you look for the best doctor possible. Money is no obstacle for him, and he offers to pay for any and all expenses. He also stays with you in the Human World while you recover, as he doesn't want to risk you being down in the Devildom while you're still healing.

If you're ever injured, such as your knee popping out of socket or pulling a muscle, he's the first to look after you. Plenty of medicine and attention, and he makes sure to keep his brothers away so that they don't bother you while you rest. He's hesitant to use magic to help you, as he doesn't want you to become reliant on it for help, but if it's an extreme injury, he'll make an exception.

Mammon

He most likely is not aware of your injury unless you tell him. If you have a strange walk, such as a limp, he might make fun of you for it, not realizing it's because you're injured. After you and/or Lucifer explain to him how stupid he sounds, he apologizes, and he does genuinely feel bad.

Now he is your scary (adorable) guard dog. He's constantly going with you if you need to run an errand, and he gets upset if you ask him to let you go alone. Truthfully, he's scared for what might happen if you go out by yourself. He knows how cruel demons can be, and he'd hate it if he wasn't there to protect you. Still, if you're adamant, he'd agree to leave you be.

Definitely the type to bedazzle your mobility aid if you have one. Of course, he asks permission first, but if you let him, he's going all out. Stickers, glitter, and tacky, plastic jewels now adorn your mobility aids, and Mammon is very proud of himself.

Mammon is for sure the type to pick you up and walk you up the stairs himself. If you don't like it, he'll stop after the first time, but if you let him, he'll do it every time. If there's a set of stairs you need to go up, he's already picking you up before you even ask. Do his brothers make fun of him? Yes. Does he care? Absolutely not.

If you ever plan on having surgery, he's a bit afraid for you. Mammon has a tendency to overestimate how fragile humans can be, so when he hears the word 'surgery', his mind immediately jumps to the worst. Just reassure him that you'll be okay if you decide to go through with it, and he'll be fine. He definitely studies up on the best ways to help someone recover from a surgery, and he's a surprisingly good caretaker for you.

He's also good at caring for you if you get injured. If you hurt your leg somehow, he's immediately bringing you to the nearest private space and checking to see how bad your injury is. His first instinct is to use magic to heal your leg, but if that doesn't work, his next plan is most likely to call Lucifer and ask what he should do. He's mostly just panicking because he hates seeing you injured, but when he does manage to calm down, he is a lot better at caring for you.

Leviathan

As someone who experiences chronic pain, Levi gets it. He's in constant pain nearly all the time, so if you need help with finding ways to get comfortable, he's your guy. But beyond that, he's not much help with anything else. He barely takes care of his own pain, so the chances of him being able to help much with yours is slim at best. He does his best though.

If you feel sore, he's got lots of spaces to chill out and rest your legs. He has many different types of chairs, beanbags, the bathtub, and even his floor, which is surprisingly comfortable. He'd totally be down to build you a makeshift nest so that you have somewhere to rest and prop your leg up.

Out of all the brothers, Levi is one of the best at distraction and comfort. If you're feeling a lot of pain or soreness, his room is the best place to be. He can distract you with anime, games, manga, and more. Sometimes, you're just in pain and there's not much you can do about it, so having a distraction is usually the best option in these instances.

Still, despite what you may think, even Levi knows that there's a limit to how much you can distract yourself before you actually need help. His brothers have had to pull him out of his cave many times because they know he's in pain and ignoring it. If he ever sees you starting to develop the same destructive tendencies as him, he'll do his best to pull you out of it.

If you ever plan on getting surgery, his room is the best recovery zone you could ask for. There's a lot to do in his room, and none of it requires much physical activity, so your legs can heal while you hang out with him. He also knows a lot about how to work out your leg to keep it from stiffening up, even if he doesn't utilize these exercises himself all that much. Any pain meds you might have are tucked away in a secure location with all of his medicine, and he sets extra timers for you so that you remember to take them if needed.

If you injure your leg, Levi is not the best help unfortunately. He panics immediately, and there's not a very good chance he'll get himself out of his panic in time to help you. In cases like these, it's best to have someone else on speed dial, such as Lucifer or Barbatos. After your leg is healed, Levi is very apologetic that he couldn't be very helpful. He tries his best to overcome his own panic so that he'll be better able to help you in the future.

Satan

Out of everyone, Satan is the most likely to do actual research about your disability. Like, I'm talking hours in the library reading every medical journal he can find so that he can fully understand what you go through. He also asks you questions if you're comfortable answering them. He won't pressure you to answer though.

He will definitely get mad at anyone who makes fun of you or tries to make your life harder. If you don't want him to confront them, he won't for your sake, but he really wants to fight them. Please let him fight them for you.

If you have any mobility aids, he will help you modify them to be better suited for the Devildom, if you'd like him to of course. It's mch different down here compared to the human world, so having modified aids would be helpful to you during your stay. If you don't want them modified at all, he'd be more than happy to buy you some alternative aids instead.

Satan is very good at giving massages if you ever feel sore. Maybe you've been walking around all day, or maybe you just woke up sore. It happens, and he'll never judge you for why you feel sore. If you'd like him to, he has no problem giving you a massage. His room is not the best for relaxing since he has so many books piled everywhere, but he tries his best to clear a path for you so that you won't have to step over all of them.

If you ever plan on having surgery, Satan is your best bet for a caretaker. He's calm and patient, and he always knows what you need to feel better. He's a great cook and he doesn't mind taking care of chores. he also makes sure you take all of your prescribed medication and that you get enough rest. Satan would prefer it if you stayed in the human world during your recovery, as he believes it's safer and less stressful than staying in the Devildom, but if you'd rather stay in the Devildom, he'll gladly stay at the House of Lamentation with you.

If you're injured, Satan is one of the better demons to call on. He has a lot of medical knowledge, so he'd know better than most of his brothers about how to take care of you. He'd try to fix it on his own if he knew how to. He can fix a dislocated knee no problem, and he's fine with other small forms of injury. If it's a bigger injury, he'd be tempted to use magic to heal you, but only as a last resort.

Asmodeus

He may not know everything about your disability, and he may not be the best caretaker of all time, but Asmo is the best at hyping you up and making you feel good. Any insecurity you may have about your disability is gone when you're around him.

No one dares to insult you in his presence. If he even suspects that someone has been bullying you for having a disability, it's on sight. Or, more accurately, he's sending Satan and/or Beel to fight for him. Either way, that demon is dead.

If you let him, Asmo would absolutely bedazzle any mobility aids you might have. He'll design you a leg brace that's colorful and sparkly, all while still being fully functional. Any canes or walkers are covered in fun stickers and glitter, and wheelchairs are not spared either. If you'd rather he keep them plain, he'll be a little pouty, but he doesn't mind. Instead, he'll focus his efforts into creating a new line of fashionable mobility aids. He thinks it's fun to design something that's actually useful along with being cute.

He's also very good at helping you coordinate outfits that fit with your mobility aids. Leg braces tend to be hard to style around, and he knows that. Sometimes they can be bulky and stiff, meaning that picking out what to wear with them can be nearly impossible. If you ever need help finding something to wear, Asmo is your go-to. He won't judge you for needing help, and the two of you spend the whole day shopping and looking around for cute outfit ideas.

If you plan on having surgery, Asmo is not the best caretaker, but he tries his best for you. If he needs any help, he'll most likely call Satan or Lucifer and ask what he should do to help you. Most of his care involves him trying to keep you entertained. Resting all day can be boring, and he knows that he wouldn't enjoy being stuck inside all day. He finds movies and tv shows to binge with you, finds silly games you can play, and even puts on cute little fashion shows for you. Asmo is still a fairly responsible caretaker, but maybe have Lucifer on speed dial just in case.

If you're injured, maybe don't call Asmo right away. More likely than not, he'll freak out and panic instead of helping you. Instead, call someone else to help you with your injury, and then call Asmo after so that he can fawn over you. He'll act all offended that you didn't call on him first, but deep down he knows he wouldn't have been much help to you. He does try his best to work on himself so that he can help you more in the future.

Beelzebub

Beel may not be the most informed about human world disabilities, but he is also the most willing to learn. All he wants is to be helpful to those he cares about, and you're one of those people. If he needs to sort through every medical journal he can find to understand how to help you, he will. He may not understand most of the medical nonsense listen in the journals, but he tries his best for you, and he actually learns quite a lot in the process.

Most likely to carry you around if you need it. All of the brothers are more than capable of carrying you just fine, but Beel is most used to carrying others around. He does it for his brothers all the time, so it's no different for you in his mind. If you can't get up a flight of stairs or you broke/lost your mobility aid, Beel is right there to haul you to wherever you need.

Beel is also very good at caring for you, surprisingly. He deals with a lot of injuries because of how often he gets hurt during games/practice, so he knows a thing or two about first aid. He's not the best at it compared to an actual doctor, but if you need anything bandaged up, or perhaps a brace of some kind, he's got you. He's also got plenty of ice/heat packs if you feel sore, plus tons of muscle relaxers and other such drugs, although he's more hesitant to give anything like that to you since he's not sure what kind of dosage you'd need. If you have your own medication, he'd be more than willing to hold onto some for you in case of emergency.

If you plan on having surgery, Beel is a decent option as a caretaker. Not the best, but certainly not the worst either. He may be easily distracted by his own hunger, but as long as he's well-fed, he's good at taking care of you. Like I said, he knows a good amount already due to his own injuries, and anything he doesn't know he can just research. During recovery, you will not have to move an inch because he'll just get everything for you. If you want food or a drink, he already has it, and he doesn't mind running errands if you need anything specific. He's also good at helping you with physical therapy.

If you get an injury, he's a good option to call. Beel is best at short term solutions, like bandaging you up until you find a more permanent solution. Maybe not the best for serious injuries, as he can only do so much with his limited knowledge, but small injuries like a popped knee or sore muscles are where he can help the best.

Belphegor

If nothing else, Belphie is very good at helping you relax. If your muscles are tense or spasming, he's arguably your best go-to. He's shockingly good at massages, but his specific brand of magic is also good for relaxation, not just putting someone to sleep.

He's also the most understanding about how tired you must be all the time (besides Levi). Having any kind of leg injury is tiring and painful, and he knows good and well that you need breaks. If you're ever feeling tired or worn-out, his bed is always open to you, and so is the attic. He'll also fight anyone who makes fun of you for needing to rest, as he's most likely dealt with similar comments for how often he falls asleep.

He's not the most experienced with mobility aids, but he is good at making things comfortable. If you specifically wear any kind of brace that makes you uncomfortable, he's your best bet if you want to find something better. Maybe something with extra padding or something that sits on your leg better. If you wear one of those bigger braces that prevent your knee from bending, he's also good at helping you prop it up on some pillows. Basically, if you have a hard time getting comfy, go to Belphie. He's more than happy to help.

If you plan on having surgery, he's a fairly decent caretaker. I can't promise that he won't fall asleep in the middle of caring for you, but he's not bad while he's awake. He's the best at helping you find comfortable ways to place your leg while you sleep or rest, and he's also good at helping you relax after physical therapy. As for anything else, he has no problems running errands for you for food, but it might take him a while to get around to it.

If you're injured, maybe don't call Belphie. To be honest, he has no clue how to deal with major, or even minor, injuries, so you're better off calling for someone else to help you. However, he is good at taking care of you after your injury has been properly dealt with. If you do get majorly injured, he'll most likely feel bad that he couldn't help you, so he'll do his best to learn more about how to help you in the future.

[pumpkinbxtch]

ok ok I know this is kinda random but I am a HUGE Octavian simp for literally no reason but honestly? I trust you to see this ask and do with it what you will <3

Octavian is My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 100000000% he stole my tortured heart for no reason he's just an annoying lil guy

Can you do an Octavian x Daughter of Poseidon/Neptune!reader where they have a kinda off/on relationship? Totally ok if you don't want to though! I love your writing!

f.u.

— octavian x daughter of neptune

☆radiostar is playin': f.u. — little mix…!

warnings; angst, off-on realtionship, (more) mean octavian, language, octavian himself is a warning (lol) a/n; yep, absolutely, Octavian is annoying really, I HATE HIM but as my mother taylor said: it's the worst men i write the best. I've never said it but I love writing angst, bro someone commit me to the psychiatric. Anyway, THANKS, hope you like this. Love, María

—I swear I'm going to drown you in your sleep!— Each word made you grip the glass tighter until Octavian could hear the material creaking, on the verge of breaking. His eyes focused nervously on the glass, but all you got out of him was a defiant hum.

—Come on...— His gaze was as empty as the promises he always made, yet you felt his warm hand wrap around your wrist, forcing you to release the glass. He gently shook your hand twice until the glass fell into his free hand. You thought it was an act of consideration for your well-being until he smashed it on the floor himself.

That was him, always showing a vulnerable side only to shatter any sign of it later. He smirked mockingly.

— You’d never do that to me.— That arrogant glint in his eyes made your stomach turn.

He was a bastard.

Disgusting.

You hated him.

You were done.

But by standing still, you proved him right, and he finally let go, heading to the kitchen. His casual footsteps echoed in the dimly lit apartment, illuminated by nearly spent candles 'cause you had been waiting for hours, cooked your best, dressed nice for him, and Octavian just decided to make you wait for four hours.

When he returned, you were still in the same spot. He didn’t even bother to look at you because sweeping up the glass shards seemed more important than picking up your broken heart. He had hurt it too many times for it to matter anymore so yes, maybe the shattered glass was more urgent to clean up.

You watched him pick up the larger pieces with his hands, and then you saw it on the collar of his shirt, something small but enough to explain why he had been so late. A lipstick stain jumped out at you, mocking you.

— was that — you murmured. He sighed heavily, knowing exactly what you meant. It drove you crazy that he didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

—So? — he asked dryly, tossing the shards into a plastic bag to keep them from mixing with the regular trash. He thought that would keep you from getting hurt, how ironic.

You stayed silent, glaring at him with knitted brows. Tears of hatred started to well up, causing an effect only you could have on him, the reason you stayed in this on-again, off-again relationship: his self-pity and subsequent regret.

But even though you could make him feel something almost impossible for him, it was too weak against his ways because he still didn’t apologize; he just kept cleaning.

If you were realistic, you weren’t in a position to demand answers. The state of your relationship was as uncertain as ever, unstable. You didn’t even know what you were to each other at that moment, but you were too scared to say it out loud and break the thread. So you just sat there, watching him finish.

And as you did, you couldn’t remember the last time you laughed together or shared a good moment without fearing breaking the relationship. Where had the good times gone? You let out a sob and didn’t realize you were about to cry like a baby until that moment.

Octavian’s sickly blue eyes looked at you, but you were too deep in your sorrow to care even if he stayed or left. He sighed and sat beside you, only by taking a seat at the table did he become aware of what he had left behind: a cold lasagna, melted candles, and two empty plates. The perfect scene of something very messed up, turning a genuine act of love upside down. You were like the sun to him, illuminating him when he should have been the one doing it.

His long hands slid across the table to stroke your arm, and he began to murmur nonsense, the same things as always because that’s how he fixed things. You shook your head, hiding your face in your hands, fighting the sobs.

— Come on, baby— he insisted, and you kept shaking your head like a hurt child. — I didn’t mean to... You know you’re the only one.

You heard the chair scrape as he moved closer, one hand wrapping around your waist.

— Get out.

He shook his head, insistently kissing your shoulder and nuzzling your cheek, trying to get you to look at him like he was the stray, wounded dog.

— Please, can we talk?

— We’ve talked enough — your voice trembling, making a hollow form in his heart. He was surprised to realize he had one, and for your bad luck, it beat for you.

He leaned in and kissed your neck gently. That was dangerous, and you knew it, but you didn’t pull away.

—I was an idiot — he murmured, leaving a trail of kisses up to your jawline, where his lips tasted salty from your tears.

He moved your hands away from your face, you no longer resisting much. It was the first time he looked at your face since he arrived, and with that gaze of his, something in those cold eyes gave you enough warmth to keep looking at them. It wasn’t ideal, but it was just enough.

He tried to smile, but it came like a smirk. He kissed you, and you let him. His lips melded with yours as more tears fell, just like you had fallen again into his game.

— Things will be different — he murmured, not stopping the kisses or the hair-stroking that kept you dazed. He tightened his grip on your waist, slowly pulling you into his lap. —Things will work between us.

Empty promises with sweet affection. His hand moved to the edge of your dress, playing with the fabric near your knees. Your hand on his shoulder as you kept kissing slowly, or you might truly break.

You had lost count of how many times those words came from his mouth, how many times you had reconciled this way, but your desire for it to be true never diminished, only grew. You wanted to believe him this time, like all the times before, but he knew the truth and was too cowardly to admit it, to accept it because he had seen the future: You weren’t his, but he resisted letting you go.

No matter if it only broke you more, if you stopped being you, if he stopped being him.

You had to leave first, and what he didn’t know was that the next morning, after one last kiss, you would.

[earlgodwin]

juan's naivety is actually hilarious to me because, despite knowing that cesare tried to kill him twice, both directly and indirectly, he still walked out alone with him in the middle of the night, yapping about a dream he had where they were in harmony and loved each other, without expecting his power hungry ambitious brother to gut him anytime soon...what yearning for validation does to a mf

[strwbrymlkshake]

I am trying so hard but it still isn't ENOUGH FOR YOU? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN TRYING?

[quietwingsinthesky]

okay like the thing is. if i was going to write actual real marie fic with plot and consequences and everything. even in the hypothetical fic with lucifer being released from his rewritten character back to factory settings (s5) he’s still like. he’s not a good person. it’s important to me that if this was a real fic and not just me shitposting, that lucifer does not magically become a good person this way. or a good parent. in fact, he’s probably worse because he now has empirical evidence to back up that God will, when convenient, erase who he is, make him worse, make it so that there’s never any choice but for him to get worse. And who’s to say it isn’t still happening. who’s to say lucifer is “back to normal” because nephilim baby interference and not because God thought it would be more interesting to see him spiral down from a higher place rather than fall over already at rock bottom.

[waluigisgaybf]

Im really tempted to just unfollow both those two old friends I posted about earlier, tha I adored and then randomly unadded me on everything :( cause I miss them both individually so badly, and I want to keep following them both to be able to support and reblog their art when they post.........but at this point seeing their posts- art or not- is just making me feel really fucking shitty and sad all over again :(