#because he's so charming and witty and deep and soft and everything

[ki-yomii]

give it to me | myg

➥ pairing | min yoongi x f!reader

➥ word count | 1.6k

➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), praise kink, teasing, against the wall, dom!yoongi, established relationship, pet names

➥ summary |  of course, it’s as you resign yourself to never getting dicked down by one min yoongi (after flashing him your whole bare ass) that the tides turn in your favor.

➥ notes | man’s is amazing at oral, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

💚 masterlist | inbox | AO3 💚

Min Yoongi is unlike anyone you’ve ever dated; always plays the gentleman, eyes and hands kept at a respectful level, albeit unafraid to taunt and tease.

The rest of the boys (mainly Jin) gag at how sickeningly sweet he is towards you, how he lights up the moment you step into the room, all gummy smile and scrunched eyes.

Completely besotted, he is - but then again, so are you.

What he lacks in stature and muscle, he more than makes up for in looks and personality. From the dark halo of hair constantly falling into his eyes, and the plush pout of his lips to a jawline for days; sometimes it hurts to even look at him.

Sassy and savage, witty and wild. Yoongi’s aura practically screams: fuck around, find out.

Yet around you, he’s kitten soft.

The best boyfriend you’ve had by miles: buys you gifts just because he was thinking about you, makes you laugh until you cry, takes care of your needs without ever having to be asked.

You click in such a fundamental way you’ve never experienced before - the chemistry and synergy palpable whenever you’re together.

God, he’s so sweet and earnest and charming. 

You’re a total goner… but you can’t help being slightly disappointed.

It makes you feel terrible to admit but you’ve been dating for almost a year, and you’ve been more than ready to kick the relationship up to the next level half a century ago.

Yoongi’s kept everything strictly above the waist (exactly the opposite of what you want).

It’s not because he’s not interested either. Most of the time his cock’s digging into your ass, half-hard and throbbing.

Though every time you finally think, “this is it,” when he starts getting really into it, he pumps the breaks.

Any further advances on your part are met with a tight albeit patient smile, a quick kiss to the forehead, and the mildly hilarious image of Yoongi awkwardly waddling to the bathroom.

Leaving you riled up and alone - again.

Before long you’re going to start taking it personally. You can’t even get off on your own anymore.

Don’t remember the last time you actually had a satisfying orgasm instead of just going through the motions.

Your hands stopped working ages ago, and forget trying to use a dildo. All past attempts at self pleasure have ended pathetically, leaving you hollow and sad.

Honestly, it’s not worth the effort because at the end of the day, nothing compares to the touch of another person - to him.

To the tang of salt on your tongue, the glide of skin on skin, the deep pulses that go straight to your toes.  And there’s no replicating that on your own.

You’re so pent up you can’t even look at him when he clenches his jaw or twirls a pen anymore lest you risk embarrassing yourself. Frankly, it’s getting a little ridiculous.

And there’s no escaping the dreams.

You’re convinced your imagination is a cruel, wild thing that loves torturing you.

Not a day goes by where you don’t wake up swollen and aching, desperate to be stuffed full of a cock you haven’t even seen let alone touched.

Of course, it’s as you resign yourself to never getting dicked down by one Min Yoongi - after flashing him your whole bare ass - the tides turn in your favor.

As he drops you off after your date, and you lean in to kiss him goodbye, he pivots and suddenly, you find yourself pinned face-first to the wall.

He’s surprisingly stronger than you give him credit for.

“Thought you were being funny, didn’t you?”

Calloused fingertips drag along the care skin of your thigh, tugging at the dangerously high hem of your dress. The silky material catches on Yoongi’s skin, the flighty touches a punch to the face as a pit yawns into existence deep in your belly.

You stare straight ahead, your teeth chewing on your bottom lip. “No,” you say.

While you can’t see his expression, the low growl of his voice is full of barely leashed hunger. You test the give in his grip, only to find yourself thoroughly caught.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t,” Yoongi says. 

An amused sound rumbles up from the back of his throat as he inches your dress up slowly. You wiggle, a quiet hiss escaping when the cool air dances over the slick clinging to your inner thighs. A flush of heat creeps into the apples of your cheeks.

“What did you think was going to happen, huh?” He tsks. Soft lips brush the shell of your ear. “What, exactly, were you hoping I’d do?”

You breathe, “Yoongi, I…”

With his chest a line of heat against your back, and the deep timbre of his voice low in your ear, it’s hard to form words. You swallow rough, mouth bone dry and stomach swooping.

This is all you’ve ever wanted, and now that you have it, you don’t know what to do with yourself.

“Hm, you what, pretty girl?” A broad palm squeezes between your hip and the wall, cupping your mound and grinding down over the top of your slit. “Was this what you were hoping for?”

God, he’s such a fucking tease.

You whimper, and your eyes slam shut as your pussy throbs once, twice. The friction of your thighs sliding together is eased by how fucking wet you are.

This is really not fair.

Yoongi’s barely touched you, and you’re already desperate to have him wreck you until you’re so thoroughly fucked you can’t move.

Shit.

In response, you tilt your hips back, and widen your stance, “Yoongi, please.”

Behind you, Yoongi exhales as you spread yourself open for him with your hands, exposing your pussy - soaked and swollen.

“Mm.” He hums, running the pad of a thumb along the crease where your ass meets your hip, up to teasingly flick at your oversensitive clit. “Is that what you want?”

“Y-Yoongi!”

Arching into the touch, you bite down on a broken whine. Heat flares to life in your belly, burning brighter as molten desire sweeps through you like a current.

It settles low, deep in your bones until you ache.

“Look at my pretty girl,” Yoongi squeezes your waist, and crouches low, “So soft and needy. Have I been neglecting you, baby?”

A nose drags up the back of your thigh, the heat of his breath puffing across your cunt with a sharp exhale. You jump, and feel yourself clench.

Yoongi groans in response, using his thumbs to test the soft fat of your ass as he takes over holding you open.

Your hands settle back on the wall beside your head, and you wait with baited breath.

“Mm, can smell how ready you are.”

Moist lips trace the back of your leg, open-mouthed kisses dropped onto the sensitive skin. Goosebumps prickle along your body, a shiver shooting down your skin.

Yoongi chuckles, “You’re absolutely fucking soaked - and it’s all for me. Can’t wait to get my tongue in you.” He groans, low-throated and hungry, when your hips jerk in response, pussy fluttering. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yoongi, please,” you beg, eyes damp and limps trembling.

Your cheeks burn and sweat gathers behind your knees, your nerves alight with electricity. You’re so turned on it hurts, your walls empty and aching for anything he’ll give.

“Do something, anything. I can’t take it anymore.”

“All you had to do was ask, baby.”

The only warning you get is a husky murmur of your name before Yoongi dives in, his broad palms grabbing rough handfuls of your ass as he flattens his tongue against you with a firm stroke, tracing the length of your cunt.

The tip spreads your folds, thrusting into you shallowly to tease at the sensitive ring of muscles before flicking up to swirl over the hood of your clit.

A loud keen rips its way out of your throat, lightening crackling down your spine. Legs tense, your hands reach back to yank at his hair while your hips rut against his face, desperately chasing after that incredible shock of pleasure.

“S-Shit, please don’t stop.” You moan helplessly, thighs shaking. You don’t know how much longer you’ll be able to stand if it’s this good already. “Hhah, oh god… Fuuuuck, that’s it, baby. Right there, right there!”

Yoongi pauses, ignoring your breathless protests as he tightens his grip to hold you in place while you squirm and whine. His breathing quickens, deepens.

He sounds so goddamn pleased when he speaks, “Mm, that’s the first time I’ve heard you moan like that.”

“Y-Yeah?” you ask, tripping over the words as your abandoned cunt pulses in time with your thundering heartbeat. “You like hearing me, baby?”

“You know I do.” Yoongi sighs, brushing a sloppy, sticky kiss over your inner thigh. “Sound so fuckin’ pretty for me.”

“Well, if you like it so much then maybe you should –”

You pitch forward, choking on your laugh as Yoongi bares down on you. Strong forearms lock around your hips, tugging you back onto his mouth.

Riled up, he sucks, licks in a frenzy.

And before long, his hands are the only thing holding you up as he devours you with greedy pulls of his lips and messy laps of his tongue.

“Shit, you taste so good,” Yoongi says, sucking your folds into his mouth before letting them go with a pop, “Wanna stay between these thighs for hours, make you my sloppy, slutty little mess. You’d like that, huh, baby?”

All you can do is whine, foggy headed and pleasure drunk.

“Yeah, you like it.”

[plutosunshine]

Your sense of humor

Mercury in Aries

Your sense of humor is straightforward and even edgy. You can kill people with your words. However, it makes you super funny. You like to be goofy and silly with friends. Your bold, open and honest style of communication adds charm to you. Your jokes are fast and this makes them even funnier because one of the main rules of good humor is a sudden fast joke. Everybody who has Aries Mercury!!! If you hide or suppress these talents, they will destroy you from the inside. You need to forward your sarcasm to the world, not inside yourself.

Mercury in Taurus

Mercury in Taurus is not as fast as Aries Mercury. However, it has its advantages. This Mercury has not a fast reaction but it doesn’t destroy its sense of humor. Your humor is so practical and precise that others can’t help but laugh. You are sarcastic and you know how to say something at right time. Sometimes people don’t expect a joke from you but it comes out and kills everybody. Did I mention sarcasm? Oh yes, I need to mention it again because omg Taurus Mercury owns it! Remember George Carlin? Yes, he is the owner of Taurus Mercury.

Mercury in Gemini

Gemini Mercury knows a little bit of every topic so your humor may depend on the person you are with. You adjust your sense of humor depending on the situation. Your humor is fast, optimistic and smart. Everyone thinks that you are witty and you were born to joke. You need to be appreciated for your humor. Also, you like to play with words and meanings. These jokes are easy to create for you. Your Mercury is in Gemini so people think you are so smart and know everything and sometimes they don’t notice that you don’t go that deep.

Mercury in Cancer

Cancer Mercury often has a very good memory so it affects the sense of humor. You can remember something nobody already does so you successfully use it to joke. Cancer Mercury natives rarely joke about their families. It is something sacred for them. You intuitively sense the mood of your surroundings and that helps you to be on the same wavelength as others. Your jokes are rarely offensive and others adore that about you. The only way you can insult somebody is when you don’t even understand that it is offensive. Usually, you don’t do that on purpose.

Mercury in Leo

Leo Mercury natives have very special facial expressions; they are artistic and unapologetically funny. If you have this Mercury, you MUST joke. It is your nature. You are a very good storyteller. Your expressions and even gestures color the story. Everybody understands your sense of humor. It is mostly optimistic and light-hearted. If the rest of the chart allows, you are the center of the party. Even if other planets are more introverted, you still need to express your talented Mercury. Maybe only in your friend's circle!

Mercury in Virgo

Here we go again, of course, earth = sarcasm. We can’t escape that. Your sense of humor is critical and detail-oriented. You notice little details and use them in your jokes. It impresses others because of the surprise effect. They don’t expect that somebody can notice such little things. Virgo Mercury natives are smart. They show it anytime and everywhere they go. Some people may think that you are even arrogant but it can be possible only if you don’t work with your Mercury. I advise you to read more because it will affect you so well and will improve your sense of humor.

Mercury in Libra

Your sense of humor is logical and soft. You don’t like offensive jokes (but watch out for Mercury-Mars aspects). You are diplomatic and even your jokes have this “not to offend anyone” attitude. That is why others love your humor so much. You talk politely and choose your words carefully. Libra Mercury has all the chances to be the queen/king of the party because of the wit, intelligence and “loving everybody” attitude. Depending on the rest of your chart, you have the potential to be a social butterfly.

Mercury in Scorpio

Of course dark humor. Humor that is not understood by everybody. You have a very special sense of humor. Most of the time you are sarcastic. This Mercury has a very interesting detail: when you joke, others often can’t understand if is it a joke or an insult. Also, Scorpio Mercury is very observant. Jokes may contain some not-pleasant observations of others. You see what other people hide behind their masks and joke very painfully about that. When you are with close friends, your humor is the best, they adore you.

Mercury in Sagittarius

Born entertainer! You tell stories like no other. With Leo Mercury of course. Your sense of humor is light-hearted, optimistic, straightforward and honest. Sometimes people laugh because of how sincerely and honestly you talk. You can talk about the topics everybody is afraid of. And you just don’t understand what is wrong. Sagittarius Mercury can be too straightforward at times and doesn’t see that someone is insulted. It is because of the careless nature of Sagittarius Mercury. And there is where your open and sincere sense of humor comes from.

Mercury in Capricorn

Of course, again it is sarcasm. However, if Virgo Mercury is more flexible, the sense of humor of Capricorn Mercury is drier. It is based on concrete facts and logic. Sometimes people don’t like the reality so it can be insulting. However, Capricorn Mercury is just no joke. It knows facts and jokes about them. Cynical and dry at times, but it is the nature of it!

Mercury on Aquarius

This one is considered a genius or crazy. No in between. Your sense of humor is unique and unusual so not everybody understands it. Of course, your friends’ circle adores you. Your jokes sometimes come out of nowhere all of a sudden. Unpredictability and uniqueness make your sense of humor unusual. You often use very random facts in your jokes. Your humor is creative, a little bit cosmic and not from this world.

Mercury in Pisces

Your sense of humor is creative and bright! You create such beautiful and unbelievable stories! Unbelievable is the key word here because let’s be honest you like to add some inexistent details to the story. That makes the story and your jokes more colorful! Also, you are the type of person who jokes like crazy at the party and all of a sudden you disappear and become silent. When you are in your “peopley” phase, you are the best entertainer but when you don’t feel it anymore, you just leave.

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Hiiii I have a question!! Do you write for Nuidis Vulko from Aquaman? If not totally okay, but if you do I'd love it if you could write something with him and a surface dweller reader! Maybe they fall in love after she meets him through Arthur and they have to hide their relationship until Arthur becomes king of Atlantis?

Full disclaimer, I haven't watched a superhero movie in years. I know, I know, shame. Shame. Shame. Shame

But, I came up with this, and I hope you like it. Since NSFW was not requested, I will try to keep it as SFW as possible.

Pairing: Nuidis x Fem. Reader 

Word count: 1k words 

Themes: Soft | some Angst | Fluff 

Warnings: Mild NSFW (Blink and you might miss it)

Want to be tagged? Want to know the reader request rules? Read all here

If you like this, please consider giving it a reblog.

Nuidis was accompanying Arthur when the latter was meeting up with old college friends.

You were talking about a new echolocation device you were working on, and how it could be used in deep-sea exploration without harming other creatures like whales and dolphins. Nuidis is curious and asks more questions.

You admit you were stuck with fine-tuning the frequency.

He offers to help.

Nuidis would drop by every afternoon to help you. He'd listen to you talk of your time spent in college, about Arthur. about your own hopes and dreams. One such dream was to travel to the South Pole, just to see it, if nothing else.

Nuidis says he could take you one day if you wish. You just brush it off as polite talk.

The visits continued and evolved into more than just lab work and chit-chat.

You and Nuidis go out for coffee. The first time he had an espresso, Nuidis declared it the most interesting drink he had ever had. Then he proceeded to have several, while you tried desperately to stop him.

Nuidis didn't stop bouncing off the walls till the next morning. You had to keep him in your apartment because he kept bouncing off the walls till morning.

He then apologizes profusely for inconveniencing you the night before.

"I am most horrified by my behaviour. It will never happen again, y/n"

"Of course, it's not going to happen again. Because you're not going near coffee again."

After speaking to Arthur about the best way to make amends, Nuidis brings you a bunch of flowers the next day. You think it's very sweet.

He offers to take you out again, this time to make up for the great caffeine debacle. You accept.

He takes you to a quiet restaurant, where the two of you spend the evening talking about each other's lives. He's shocked to find out you already know about Arthur's Atlantean heritage, but at the same time, he's happy, as he can freely talk to you about his world. 

The two of you lose track of time, going from restaurants to little cafes to twenty-four-hour movie theaters, talking not just about work, but about everything. Nuidis realizes he has so much in common with you, like your shared love of history and languages. He'd bring you books from his own library, encouraging you to read them, and then questioning you after you have finished a chapter. 

You enjoy it, both the books and spending time with him. You find Nuidis to be a most fascinating man. And incredibly chivalrous and charming to boot. 

Nuidis finds himself quite taken by you, thinking you to be very witty and sweet and eager to learn.

Arthur sees what's happening even if the two of you are ignorant of it. He keeps quiet, thinking that the two of you need to figure it out on your own.

Nuidis starts to feel something, something that's more than just friendship, but he's afraid he could endanger you by getting too involved with you. Orm would never tolerate the union of a high-born Atlantean and a lowly surface dweller, and because of this, Nuidis keeps his feelings in check for now.

As time progresses, you start to feel something for Nuidis. He's the first thing on your mind when you wake up, and the last thing on your mind. You'd find yourself looking at him at the oddest moments, your cheeks turning bright red if he catches you. Nuidis finds this enchanting.

And then one evening, Nuidis brings you a gift for your birthday. It was of Atlantis, of how it was before it sank into the ocean, one that Nuidis made with his own hands. A secret button would make little holographic scenes come to life. You were so touched that you kissed him on the cheek. 

Nuidis swallows before finally caving in and kissing you squarely on the lips. 

The two of you stand there, he mortified, you stunned, and then you finally reciprocate by kissing him back. He ends up taking you to bed and making love to you for most of the night.

The two of you have to keep your relationship secret, as Orm still holds the title of crown prince and Arthur is trying to overthrow him. After Orm sends a giant wave to destroy surface-dwelling towns, Nuidis stays away for your own safety.

It's the worst time of his life, being away from you, but he knows it must be done. Orm was hunting down anyone even remotely connected to Arthur and his accomplices, and Nuidis didn't want you getting caught in the crossfire. 

You were miserable, thinking Nuidis just upped and disappeared. No one told you anything, not even Arthur. Not knowing what else to do, you moved back to a completely different state, to start over and try and forget about Nuidis and the past several months.

In the meantime, Nuidis had been helping Arthur win against Orm, and putting a stop to the war. The days bled into weeks, and weeks bled into months. But in the end, Arthur won, and no one knew where you had gone. 

Arthur helped Nuidis search for you, and when they did find you, the new king of Atlantis gave him his blessings.

"Do not mess this up," he says, as he gives something to his mentor.

Nuidis promises he won't.

One fine morning, you opened the door to your apartment, shocked to find who was standing on the other side.

"It took you long enough," you say bitterly.

Nuidis responds with the most heartfelt apology you've ever heard. One that tugged on all your heartstrings, as was the explanation that followed. Nuidis then shocks you even more by getting down on one knee, holding a little black box in his hand, and already opening it, exposing the jewel inside. 

You, between tears and laughter, managed to squeak out a yes.

[dailyyooniex2]

YOON SI YOON – ARENA HOMME+ JULY 2016 INTERVIEW

After a long wait, Yoon Si-yoon’s interview for ARENA is out, at last! Too bad the magazine only shared small-sized images for the pictorial online, and I bet that there are lots of B-cuts they did not release :3 I guess we should be thankful that even with Mirror of the Witch coming to an end last week, we still get to see him every Sunday on 2 Days 1 Night. Enjoy the interview!

Yoon Si-yoon, No Matter What They Say

31-year old Yoon Si-yoon’s dream is, as always, an icon of hope.

The time gap between your discharge from army and your comeback was very short.

I really wanted to work. I was impatient. It was through working nonstop from my debut that I found myself and my own worth. It was like losing myself when I couldn’t work while I was doing my service in the military.

It must have been an unfamiliar time for you.

Yes, that’s right. I am a person who will feel comfortable planning things in advance; someone who will think and ask questions, putting effort instead of lazing around. Army service seemed to have suppressed that side of me.

Still, it feels that the person Yoon Si-yoon is even more apparent than before: someone who is intensely doing his own soul-searching.

That’s what I feel too. I’ve become clearer, in the sense that I try to thoroughly eliminate the parts that are not like myself and show the real me. It is easier to abandon and adopt them compared to before.

We would not ask what were the things you abandoned. What were the things you have adopted?

In the past, I would try to cover my flaws. But then, after getting into the professional world, I come to realize that it’s more important to turn those flaws into merits. Covering our flaws will actually make them even more glaring. Hence, my thoughts have changed. I adopted and fully embraced my flaws. I’d rather show different sides of me, including those I have never shown before.

2 Days 1 Night is a program with being tricky and stretched fun as its core. Now, you have created a rhythm that is totally different compared to the first time Yoon Si-yoon appeared on the show. The members even commented that you are a strange kid.

Haha. Am I really strange? Those unique people are actually saying that I am the strange one..

If we are to talk about Yoon Si-yoon’s attitude in variety program, it is kind of strange. Your usual kind of fun is different and rough, plus your funny parts do not feel ordinary. It has been a while since the last time we saw a healthy and positive character who throws in a few laughs on a variety program. I don’t really know if I’m really a healthy and positive person. I think that the word that describes me the best is ‘analog’. I’m simple like an old machine. My objective is simple and I really can’t be excessive. It’s also like that when it comes to romantic relationship and dating. I’m someone who can’t do sophisticated pickup lines.

You always say that you are not a refined person. You even mentioned in one interview that you are not someone who is fit to act out a refined character.

I certainly want to become an actor who can act well one day. But now, I think that saying I want to act well is an arrogant statement for myself. The best thing I can do at the moment is to show an acting without any lies. Only through that, people should get to know me, and I should try to find myself by brushing up the ‘me’ inside myself. That’s why, after brushing up myself, I find out what kind of person I really am. I’m still far from being a refined person.

Suddenly, words from High Kick Through the Roof‘s PD Kim Byung-wook come to our mind, “Yoon Si-yoon carried the gaze of a 1980s boy who falls in a one-sided love”.

Yes. If I am to fall in love again now, I will fall into that kind of feeling. Heo Joon’s character I portrayed in the drama Mirror of the Witch was exactly like that. He went back and forth even when he liked someone, and he didn’t really know what he should really do to make that person he liked happy.

Heo Joon became a wild playboy for a short moment in Mirror of the Witch. Is that image far from your real image?

Wah, no. Why did you think like that? Do you think I only play Korean shuttlecock game (jegichagi) to pass time?

Well, you do seem like you will pass time healthily.

To tell you the truth, that’s exactly what I do; each time I’m stressed out, I will go to comic store to read lots of comic books, watch movies, or visit art galleries to release my stress. That’s why I enjoyed acting out the wild Heo Joon. He was surrounded by and even buried under the ladies…haha!

Heo Joon is this kind of person who will throw himself out to be sacrificed for the sake of the person he loved. Is this close to your real self?

It’s close. I mean the point of loving someone wholeheartedly. But then, someone who loves like this is, in the end, longing to receive that kind of love from the person he loves. I’m neither a very selfless nor pure man; I’m just a lacking man. I wanted to convey Heo Joon’s shortcomings and his way of loving someone with sincerity. Giving his all, wishing that the person he loved would never leave his side; that kind of love.

Isn’t that the most basic form of love?

You’re right. That’s the form of love that I do. Hence, I wanted to express that image through Mirror of the Witch.

Your drama comeback through Mirror of the Witch as Heo Joon is like having you stand up and declare that you are acting as your own self.

I didn’t view Mirror of the Witch as a historical drama. To me, it was just a fantasy drama. Fantasy is a fiction with the freedom to tell any kind of story. There is no restriction on how the story will go on. It is a good place for an actor to find answers by himself and having faith in the story as he goes on. 

Although it was a fantasy drama, the viewers acquired a sense of reality from the drama through the characters portrayed by Yoon Si-yoon and Kim Sae-ron. 

Both (Kim) Sae-ron and I are gifted with brightness to our image. Conversely, no matter how heavy and dark it was; no matter how hard it was to save the characters in the story…either way, we both carried unique colours thanks to that brightness. Mirror of the Witch‘s story line was sad and dark. Even when the characters were driven deep into the darkness, our brightness and the light through our characters’ relationship in the drama made the drama more vivid. That seemed to be the roles entrusted to me and Sae-ron in the drama. The director said that he fully entrusted the role to me, believing that I would be able to express my real feelings through the drama. ‘Do it just like what you’re thinking. Your words are right.’ That was what he said. Those words gave me great strength.

Do you still think that a project that is warm in people’s eyes suit you the best? Could it be that the reason for it was because of the image public associates you with?

I want to live as someone who is seen as and associated with warmth. Hence, I’m putting more effort to become a warm person. The inclination to do projects seen as warm is actually the dream of human Yoon Si-yoon as an actor. Human is the most interesting thing in the world to me, and human is the warmest thing in the whole world.

That is something we have not heard for a long while. No, I think it is the first time we heard something like that – human is the warmest thing.

Human can be the seeds of conflict too. But then, I believe that the answer and solution to the conflict is within the human too.

In the past, there was this dream which you had as an actor. You wanted to become the keyword for hope. We want to ask: do you think that having such a positive and healthy outlook will enable you to conquer the world? Do you truly believe that?

Hope is, in my opinion, when we have our respective roles in our own lives but we still live with beautiful minds. Even when life doesn’t go well, I wish that with significant thoughts, it will be a source of hope to conquer the world. Have you seen the movie Inside Out? Isn’t it the most beautiful thing to see different emotions – happiness, anger, sadness – all mixed up in one’s life? I wish I could express it again and again that all lives matter and equally beautiful, especially through dramas.

Since when you changed into this firm person you are today?

Only my words are firm; I am still very green, full of anxiety, terror, sadness, fear, and dread. I worry for my next project and then worry about saying wrong things. Nowadays, I’ve come to realize some things, little by little. At one point, when you start to act according to what you’re aware of, isn’t that the moment you will become a real adult?

Where do you think you are at this point in the whole life as Yoon Si-yoon?

Right now..just like I’m done with warming up? At the moment of yelling out ‘Okay, good. Now, let’s go!’ I’m at the point where I have stretched my body to find out exactly what I can and cannot do. For instance, these days, I have decided to show properly the countrified side of me. I’m really a countrified person. I’m unnecessarily serious and I would be serious like that even when I’m meeting women. I wish I can be smooth at making jokes.

(Source~)

💜💜💜💜💜

[bucksfucks]

messing with a gemini | chris evans

gif credit.

SUMMARY || chris is a gemini, so you should expect nothing less than snide remarks, witty charm, and mind-blowing sex.

PAIRING || chris evans x reader

WORD COUNT || 1,902 words

WARNINGS || banter, teasing, cocky!chris, definite praise kink, light choking kink, chris goes down on the reader, fingering, oral, drinking, unprotected sex, both smutty, soft, and teasing — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI

NOTES || mmmmgmmgmgmgmgmg yeah

     The sound of the door shutting can only mean one thing.

    “Look what the cat dragged in,” you greet him, not turning around to face him.

    “Sweetheart if you don’t learn to shut that pretty little mouth of yours, I’ll do it for you.”

    Another snide remark, another sly smirk, and another roll of your eyes as Chris slides past you with a cup of tea in his hands.

    “You couldn’t make me if you tried.” You spat back, narrowing your eyes at him as you watched him quirk an eyebrow; intrigued at your comment.

    “Is that a challenge? Because you know I never back down from you.” He replies cooly, folding his arms over his chest before taking a sip of his hot drink.

    “Ah yes, how could I forget,” you feign enthusiasm, “you’re a Gemini.” You deadpan and now it’s his turn to roll his eyes.

    He kicks his foot off the wall behind him, “you didn’t answer my question, sweetheart.” He winks, brushing past your shoulder as you scoff.

    He’s gonna out of your sight before you have the chance to say anything else, letting out an exasperated sigh as you will yourself to calm down.

    “Hey!” Someone shouts through the trailer door, “can you run down to makeup for backup?” You don’t get to answer.

    “Thanks!”

    Before whoever it was slammed the door shut and you let out another frustrated groan.

    You knew what you signed up for, you weren’t head of makeup. You weren’t even assistant head. No, you were one of the nobodies.

    Someone they hire to run from one end of set to the other only to get yelled at for not having enough brushes or the right shade of a palette.

    It was almost poetic.

    “Hey, I’m here, what did you guys need?” You ask as you put on a fake smile and enter the makeup trailer.

    The trailer where Chris is sat getting his hair done.

    Your blood boiled, wasn’t he supposed to be a charmer? A sweetheart? Maybe he was just really getting into character?

    “Can you sweep the floor and make sure there’s no more hair?”

    You had to physically fight the urge to drop your face, “sure!”

    You grabbed the broom, feeling embarrassed as you quietly sunk into the background as you felt Chris’ eyes on you.

    A few medial, mind numbing tasks later and it was closing in on 2am. Your notification-less phone screen lit up the empty trailer you were left to clean up.

    Not that you really minded.

    You find solace in the only time of the day where things seem to slow down. You also didn’t hate being alone where you could listen to music and clean hairbrushes.

    “So this is what you do after we cut.” The sound of Chris’ laugh startles you as you let out a soft yelp.

    He has a soft smile on his face, almost unrecognizable without his beard.

    “I thought I was alone,” you reply meekly, turning the volume lower on your phone as Chris shook his head.

    “Oh, I know,” he laughs, “I don’t think anyone would be belting out Queen like that if they didn’t think they were alone.”

    Once again, you feel embarrassed in front of him, shaking your head.

    “Whatever,” you try to brush it off. “Did you need something?” You ask as he shakes his head.

    “I was just checkin’ in on you.” He replies and you’re a little taken aback.

    “Oh, well thanks, but I’m okay. Just finishing up cleaning.” You said with a tight lipped smile and a nod of your head.

    Chris stands there for a second, shoving his hands into his pockets as he looks over his shoulder before clearing his throat.

    “Well uh, some of the cast and crew are havin’ some drinks and pizza later, if you wanted to tag along.”

    The invite makes your stomach drop into your lower belly as you open your mouth.

    You have to take a moment to formulate the words.

    “It’s getting pretty late, I think I’m just gonna head back to my hotel room. Parties aren’t really my thing.” You joke, lightening the mood as Chris cracks a smile.

    “Sure thing, sweetheart. The invites always there,” he says before turning on his heels and leaving you to yourself.

    Chris Evans was an enigma that you didn’t think you’d ever crack.

~

    The soft knock at your door caused your neck to snap in its direction, uncrossing your legs as you slid off the too big hotel bed and looked through the peep hole.

    It was hard to make out the figure, but it looked like...no, it couldn’t be.

    “Chris?” His name slipped through your lips as you opened the door.

    He beamed a smile as he held up a case of beer and box of pizza.

    “Turns out, parties aren’t my thing either.”

    You couldn’t help but chuckle as you moved aside to let him in.

    “And you decided that coming to my room at,” you had to check the time, “3:16 in the morning was the logical thing to do?”

    He set everything down on the coffee table before hopping onto your bed, “yup.”

    You had to roll your eyes as you laughed, closing and locking the door as you stepped in front of him.

    “C’mon kid,” oh, why did that do something to you?

    “You work hard every day of the week, you deserve one night to not care about anything.” His words were gentle as he stood up to grab a beer.

    “Want one?” He asked, holding a beer up as you replayed his words.

    “Sure,” he was right, you do deserve a break.

    You both took a seat on the small, uncomfortable couch in the room as you took a sip. Well, it was beer.

    “So,” you broke the silence, “the Chris Evans doesn’t like parties?” You quirked an amused eyebrow as he laughed.

    “Maybe I wanted to escape to see you, is that so bad?” He said, licking his bottom lip; not breaking eye contact.

    You shook your head, “such a fucking Gemini,” you mumble as Chris smirks.

    “What did I say about that smart mouth of yours?” He eggs you on, leaning forward and giving your knee a squeeze.

    “I don’t remember.” You bite back, feeling your heart kicking in your chest as you feel his breath fanning over your face.

    “Maybe I should teach you a lesson or two then, hmm?” He purrs, running his free hand up your neck and resting it there.

    “I dare you,” you mumble, transfixed on the feeling of his warm hands on you.

    The dominos fall and Chris’ lips are meshed with yours, the faint taste of beer on them as you wrap your fingers in the collar of his shirt.

    “You know I never back down from a challenge,” he murmurs against your lips before taking you by the hand and leading you to the bed.

    He pushes you onto it, the sheets around you as the weight of Chris’ body pushed you further into it.

    “Ah ah,” he tsks when you let out a soft moan, “I thought I told you to keep quiet for me.”

    You swallow thickly, throat dry and lips parted as you gasp when you can feel the weight of him between your hips.

    “Can you do that for me, sweetheart? Can you be a good girl?” He purrs, absolutely knowing what it does to you as you writhe under him. 

    “Good,” he hums. “Now let’s see how good you are when I’m between your legs makin’ then shake.”

    His wink doesn’t go unnoticed by you as your clothes are shed, his coming off until he’s left in nothing but his boxers.

    There’s little left to the imagination, the outline of his cock clear as he wraps his hands around your ankles and tugs you down to the end of the bed.

    You yelp, sliding off the pillows as he sinks to his knees, hungry eyes just waiting to taste you.

    “Look at you,” he cooes, “drippin’ at the thought of me between your thighs?” He mocks, cocking his head to side as he keeps your legs open.

    Chaste kisses are pressed to your inner thighs, gently as you try to stop the plea’s that are begging to slip past your mouth.

    “You’re bein’ so patient for me too, good girl.” He praises, he breath over your core is hot as you grab for his hair.

    The feeling of his tongue makes you moan and squeeze your legs around his head.

    “Mmm,” he hums, “that good already?”

    If he wasn’t buried between your legs you might’ve, just might’ve had the courage to roll your eyes.

    His fingers tease your entrance as his mouth works over your clit.

    There’s no holding back now.

    You don’t care how loud you’re being, giving into the sensation as he works you to the edge, your legs shaking.

    “You wanna come, don’t you, pretty girl?” Yes, God, yes.

    “Well that’s too bad,” he taunts making you let out a whine.

    “Not until I’m buried deep ‘side of you,” he grunts, quickly stripping off the rest of his clothes until he’s crawling back over you with a condom in his hand.

    You’re still dizzy, slightly angry from your denied orgasm, but wanting nothing more than to feel him stretching you out.

    “You think you’re ready for my cock,” he smirks teasingly as you feel him at your entrance.

    You whine, bringing his lips to your but he stops you at the last second.

    “Uh uh baby, I wanna hear you beg for it.” He taunts, nose brushing yours.

    “Fuck,” you whimper, “please, just fuck me.” You beg, eyes meeting his.

    That’s all he needs before he’s slowly sinking into you, watching your face contort in immeasurable pleasure.

    “Feel so fuckin’ good,” he grunts, “so tight and warm.”

    Your fingers dig into his speckled back, finding your ground as you dig into the soft skin as he thrusts into you.

    Suddenly, the only think you can think about is how good this feels.

    “My pretty girl,” he whispers, bending your one leg at the knee to get a deeper angle.

    “Takin’ my cock so goddamn well,” he grunts, “gonna make me come.”

    His words send a shiver down your spine as your walls flutter around him. He drops on one of his elbows, getting impossibly close to you.

    “You’re gonna come too, aren’t you, sweetheart?” He teases, lips on yours swallowing every moan before you feel a hand around your throat.

    “Look at me when you come, baby,” he purrs, applying just the slightest amount of pressure to the column of your throat.

    “Wanna see you come for me,” he smirks, his thrusts getting harsher before you feel yourself giving into your orgasm.

    Your body shakes as your mouth falls open, his name a breathy moan before you feel his hips stuttering.

    He sounds exhausted after he spills inside of you, tumbling on top of you as you’re left in sweaty silence as you’re left with nothing to do but run your fingers through his dampened hair.

    “Gemini or not, you’re what made me weak in the knees, sweetheart.” Chris whispers, eyes on yours as you feel a flutter in your heart.

    “There’s somethin’ about you that I won’t ever grow tired of, that I’m sure about.”

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

a remus lupin smut after the full moon where reader takes care of him and it’s just soft and sweet and nice <3

pairing: young remus lupin x reader 

warning(s): 18+, handjob, so much fluff

word count: 1.4k 

a/n: this one kinda made me sad to write and i couldn’t stop thinking about atyd the whole time. i just wish remus got all the love he deserved. 

“Everything hurts,” Remus mumbled into his pillow, laying on his stomach, finally able to lay down after his long trek up to the Gryffindor Tower. The both of you were laying on his bed, curtains pulled with a silencing charm in place so the other boys wouldn’t hear you muffled conversation. 

The full moon was last night and, as always, Madam Pomfrey kept him in the Hospital Wing for the day to make sure he was alright. He had slept most of the day, but you could tell your boyfriend was still exhausted and in pain. 

It was like this after every full moon since he had told you about his lycanthropy. Just you and him in his tiny twin bed, curtains drawn and just in your own world. It was what he needed, he had told you once. Just you to hold him and be there with him after a terrible night. Even with the boys joining him, it wasn’t an enjoyable experience. You were just happy to be of some comfort to him.

“Maybe a massage would help?” You asked, lightly stroking his arm as you laid with him. Anything you could do after the full moon to help him, you would. It was a promise you had made yourself immediately after he told you about his ‘furry little problem’ as the boys so eloquently named it. You knew it was a major step for him to take with you, and you would do your best to make sure he was okay at all costs. 

“That sounds nice, love,” he said, giving you a small smile but you could see the tension he held in his eyes. 

“Do you want to take your shirt off or leave it on?” You asked gently, maneuvering your body so you were straddling his waist. You felt him tense underneath you, barely breathing. That was never good. “Re?” 

“Ther- There’s another scar,” he said into the pillow. It was muffled but you heard him loud and clear. You took a deep breath bur pressed on. 

“Can I lift your shirt so I can see it? I just want to be careful,” you told him softly, trying to keep him as comfortable as possible. You knew he hated his scars, but you always made it a point to give them love. Every last one of them. You saw him nod into the pillow and you slowly dragged his shirt up his back until it was tucked under his armpits. 

There was an ugly scar across the bottom of his back, still red and healing. Madam Pomfrey had clearly applied Dittany to it, but it would most likely take the week to heal. 

“Thank you,” you said softly and immediately began digging your fingers into his shoulders. 

He tensed and relaxed under you whenever you hit a new spot. You worked out knot after knot, slowly trailing down his back as you went. Your own hands were tense by the time you finished, but it was worth it because he was not boneless against the sheets. For a moment his shallow breathing made you believe he was asleep, but he stirred to reach his hand out for you. 

You took his hand and fell down on the bed beside him. He was looking at you with a small smile again, but this time the smile reached his eyes. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, shifting his body so you were lying face to face. 

“Anytime,” you replied, brushing him off easily. You didn’t want him to make a big deal about your acts of service. He deserved them just like anyone else. Hopefully one day he’d realize it. 

You leaned in for a soft kiss which quickly turned heated, but he eventually pulled away, knowing he was in no shape for sex tonight. It didn’t stop you from looking down though, just in case. And just as you suspected, there was a prominent bulge in his sweatpants, just the outline of it making your mouth water. Werewolf or not, he was still just your horny boyfriend at the end of the day. 

“I can take care of that for you too if you want,” you said with a small smirk, nodding your head in the direction of his pants. 

“You don’t have to. We should probably just go to bed anyways,” he argued lightly, the tips of his ears turning pink at the knowledge that you had noticed his little problem. 

“Well I’m certainly not letting you go to bed uncomfortable. So yes or no?” You asked him simply. 

He gave you a quick nod, making you smile in return. You brought your lips back to his, locking him in a heated kiss, while you hand trailed down to his bulge. You palmed him for a moment, but shortly moved to pull down the front of his sweatpants only to find out he wasn’t wearing underwear. This man was out to kill you. 

You pulled his cock out his pants and gave it a quick stroke, making his hips stutter against your hand. You pulled your hand and lips away from him at the same time, bringing your hand up to lick a strip of spit onto it. He let out a groan watching you, his eyes never leaving yours. 

Your hand returned to his cock and he quickly pulled you back into a kiss. You started with slow strokes, bringing him to full hardness, before you sped up slightly. You wanted to keep things slow so as to not over excite him, but you also wanted to get him off. You were at the perfect speed to do both with a little bit on time. 

He left out a low moan into your mouth when you twisted your hand the way he liked which you swallowed up greedily. You moved your hand the same way again just to hear him make more noise. You loved how vocal he could be when you had your hands on him like this. 

You stayed steady like that for a few minutes, slowly moving him along to his release. Finally you felt his body tense and he said, “I’m gonna - fuck, Y/N”. 

You felt his cock twitch right before he spilled into your hand. You worked him through it until he was boneless once more on the bed and slowly backing his hips away from you. Once you were content that he was thoroughly finished, you gave him one last peck on the lips before moving for your wand to clean the both of you up. 

“I’m sorry I can’t return the favor,” he said once he got his breath back. 

“You’ll make it up to me. I know you,” you said, a smile growing on your face. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he mumbled, burying his face into your chest. 

“Good thing I’m never leaving, hm?” You replied with a giggle. 

You expected him to make some witty response like he normally would, but when his head shot up with a look of concern in his eyes, you paused. “Please don’t,” he begged silently. 

Your heart broke just looking at him. This boy who you loved with your entire being, more than words could ever describe, was begging you to never leave him because he was infinitely ashamed of what he was. You never cared what he was, you only ever wanted him. You could almost laugh at the ridiculousness of it, but looking in his eyes again stopped you. 

“I’m never leaving. I promise. Even if you try to push me away I won’t leave. You’re mine and I’m yours. Forever. I promise,” you told him, your eyes never leaving his. 

You felt the relief fill his body and watched his eyes light up. “I love you,” he said, his voice raw with the emotions that he was trying to hold back. 

“I love you too, Re. So much. Now get some rest please. You need it,” you said, giving him a quick kiss to his forehead before you rested your head against his pillows. 

He didn’t put up a fight this time. Most of the time he did, trying his best to convince you he was fine until he couldn’t hide it anymore. But tonight he simply put his head back down on your chest and got comfortable, his arms looping their way around your body to hold you close and make sure you stayed there all night. 

You stayed awake until you heard his breathing out and his soft snores begin. You fell asleep with a small smile on your face, surrounded by Remus and the scent of him, just knowing tomorrow would be a better day for the both of you.

[coweye]

Guys My Age - PT.1

Pairing: Francisco ‘Catfish’ Morales x Miller!Reader Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: After four years away, you return home to realise that maybe everything you’ve been looking for was right in front of you all along.

Warnings: Mention of depression, Slow burn - no smut yet but it will eventually be horrifically filthy 18+ only pls gang, LEGAL Age Gap. 

Note: This bad bois been worming its way to the surface for a while now, hope you enjoy! 💕 I apologise in advance for the slow burn.

⇢MASTERLIST

Life was strange sometimes.

Here you were, back in the hometown you’d sworn never to return to after four years away, flanked by your older brother Benny. 

Two thirds of the Miller gang back together, reunited or at least you had been.

“I’ma get us a table, you order the drinks.” Ben muttered distractedly whilst scouting out potential tables.

“Hey, I’m supposed to be destitute, the least you could do is get the first round in.” The sad thing is, you’re only half joking. He rolled his eyes at your expense, before handing you his credit card and continued on his journey to get a table, presumably with a great view of the blonde woman he’d spotted upon entry to the bar. Benny was predictable if nothing else, it was part of his charm. 

So, you pushed your way forward through the throng of warm bodies, Friday night at Flanagans was a nightmare but you had agreed to be sociable as Santiago was in town, so you’d made the sacrifice and took a night off from your crushing depression to don a nice t-shirt and apply makeup for the first time in the two weeks since moving into Will’s back room.

You smiled what you hoped was a somewhat friendly lift of your lips at the bartender and ordered two beers, as you were waiting you heard the familiar call of Santiago Garcia - the man who you’d spent your teen years obsessed with. 

He was gorgeous inside and out, though your crush had morphed into something a lot more wholesome and you had a genuine platonic love for the man, as an extension of your brothers.

“How have you been, guapa? God, long time no see!” He all but cried, clearly already a couple of beers in as wrapped you in a strong hug, pulling you onto your tiptoes. He wasn’t lying, you hadn’t seen Santiago in two maybe three years ago now. 

Time had gotten away from you and your visits had become less and less frequent, especially with the boys being deployed, you couldn’t say you were happy to be back, but it was certainly nice to see them all again.

“I know, damn, you got old!” You chuckle as his face straightens out in feigned hurt. “Like fine wine, Santi, Fine wine!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop flirting, you two.” Will grumbles as he slides through the crowd to lean on the bar beside you, lifting three fingers up to the bartender who had already placed the pints of beer before you. 

“Where have you been?” You question raising an eyebrow “I’ve been back at least two weeks.”

“I’ve been in Australia for a little while, it's nothing serious but-”

“Pope’s got a girlfriend now, Squirt.” The low voice is a new one, but only one person used to call you that awful nickname. 

You turn to see Francisco Morales behind you, his eyes are older than the rest of him but still irrevocably kind and he has an easy smile painted on his lips. You can’t quite remember him being this handsome as your eyes drink him in, perhaps you’d been blinded by the effortless beauty of Santiago as a teen but my god, Catfish had almost floored you. 

“Frankie!” You smile - all teeth, trying somewhat successfully for an air of normalcy despite your brain processing the change that five years has had on your taste in men and pulling him in for his own hug. 

You tried to stop yourself, you honestly did but as you breathed in, the smell of him overtook you, the spicy scent of cinnamon and sweet vanilla; the man somehow smelled like a goddamn cupcake and you had the biggest sweet tooth. 

Locking your inner sex offender deep down inside a box so as to not assault the man you’d held in a hug for what was becoming longer than appropriate, you pulled away. 

“A girlfriend?” You question, your brain scrambling for something to talk about other than those brown eyes. You can’t help the smirk that sneaks its way across your lips as you tease the man before you. “Santiago Garcia, have you gone soft on me in your old age?”

He huffs as he grabs his beer. “Fuck off, baby Miller.” 

The three of you chortle in response to his defeated tone as he walks towards the table Ben has secured. Will grabs at his wallet, hand coming out to stop you in confusion when you hold out a card to pay. 

You shake your head and shrug. “Ben’s treat.” 

That kills any argument on his tongue as he picks up his drink and follows Santi’s lead. You can’t help but chuckle at your brothers, you had missed them both so much. 

You’re very quickly aware of Frankie lingering to your left, waiting for you to finish paying, ever the gentleman. 

You turn to him as the machine processes the transaction. 

“Your-”

“How-” You both chuckle, the two of you have always been the quiet ones of the group, more observant with witty one liners thrown in than the loud mouths currently chatting at your table. 

It seems years apart haven’t helped either of your awkwardness.

“You go…” You dismiss with a quick laugh when he waits for you to speak.

“I was just gonna say, it's nice to have you back!” He shrugged before gesturing to side of him “After you,” 

Frankie creates a barrier with his body for your fellow thirsty patrons who want your spot at the bar. You pick up yours and Bens drinks and turn to find the guys. 

Frankie’s hand finds your lower back as he guides you through, its innocuous enough, hell if you hadn’t been drooling over the man minutes before you wouldn’t have given it so much as a second thought, but that palm guarding you from the brunt of the crowd was like molten lava slowly burning your flesh. 

“W-Well, it’s good to be back! I’m not going anywhere in a hurry!” You pretty much shout over the deafening ambient chatter around you. His low voice is in your ear when he replies, you force yourself not to close the distance and push your spine into his chest, Frankie isn’t like that; Hell, he has a girlfriend and baby at home.

He’s just being friendly - he’s known you since you were seventeen. 

“You miss your friends back home?”

“They’re not my friends. None of those assholes let me sleep on their goddamn sofas.” Trying to break the tension only you seemed to be feeling with a joke, it seems to work as he chortles.

“Well you’re more than welcome to my sofa if Will ever gets too much, Squirt.” You couldn’t explain the things that this man saying the word squirt to you was doing. No matter the context, even if it was because you squirted slurpee from your nose when laughing too hard when you were a teenager. 

“I may hold you to that - he bit my head off the other day because I didn’t wash a glass the second I used it, I swear-” You’re cut off when you find the booth rather quickly, the raucous laughter from the rangers acting as a siren call.  You slide in beside Ben and turn to your other brother “-I was just telling Frankie, how much of a control freak you are.”

And because God hates you, Francisco slides in beside you. 

…

You were a grown woman and you had a ridiculous infatuation.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying either, after sitting in that bar you had made an effort to block out the sensation of his thigh against your own or when he leaned back against the plush fabric and wrapped his arm around the back of the booth.

But so help you god you were only human, you couldn’t help but laugh a little harder at his jokes than the others or the warmth that flooded your belly when you’d meet his eyes as you told a story and find his chocolate orbs transfixed on you as if you were telling a great tale - rather than an anecdote about how you dislocated your tailbone last year when you were drunk on some stairs.

It wasn’t even as if it was just his looks - though you were big enough to admit that initially that had been a large part of it.  It was the ease you felt around him, the kindness you could see clear as day painted on his face. 

Though you knew, deep down in your toxic heart of hearts, buried beneath your daddy issues and depression, this deep desire was because he wasn’t all that interested. 

It wasn’t as if he ignored you, no. He was friendly, but he had no interest in you besides just that, being a friend. 

He had a baby and a girlfriend and you weren’t a home wrecker.

He was your brother's best friend, an extension of your family. 

These were all things you reminded yourself about as you lay in bed alone staring up at the ceiling the morning after.

You could just be his friend, right?

⇢ Next Part

[sweetiehyuka]

Ghosting.

Chapter 2

wc - 1k

warnings - angst, mental illness

~

♪  tired - beabadoobee ♪

8:14am

Sometimes, it feels like I'm watching life in slow motion. Sitting idle, watching my four friends chatter at our little lunch table in the uni common room, focusing on the multitude of people weaving between eachother behind them rather than my friends themselves. The screeching of chairs against the floor, the heavy wooden doors repeatedly opening then slamming shut, the loud voices of everyone around me - they all just go straight through me. Right now, none of it is anything to me. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I feel nothing. I am not here. Even my best friend, Soobin, doesn't seem real to me. I cannot process a single word he is saying - his deep voice that I've heard a thousand times - it does nothing but cause ringing in my ears.

I probably look like a fucking idiot as I sit here, zoned out, eyes blank and mouth gawking open. But I can't pull myself out of it. I know that it's been too long since I last said something, or made an annoying joke, or laughed really loud, but when you were born to be an observer, it's hard to always remember to act like a human instead of just a thing that sits and watches people talk as if they're characters in a movie.

This is something I think about all the time. Maybe too much, actually... if me and my friends were characters in our own movie, who would we all be?

Yeonjun would be the protagonist. For sure. It's rare that there's not a girl or two standing at our lunch table flirting with him; twirling their hair, their palms pressed against the white plastic surface of our table in an attempt to sensually prop themselves up, shooting a smirk down at him to match his own smug expression. He gets their number, shoots them a wink and tells them he'll call them later that night. And boys, too, who wrap their arms around his waist and pull him round the sides of buildings and we don't see him again til two hours later, when his shirt his creased and his once perfectly slicked hair is all messy. He clubs til the early hours and still manages to earn himself decent grades. He sleeps and eats as shit as me and still manages to have a perfectly crafted appearance. I love how he lives. If I had his confidence and organisation, I would too. I think he'd be the protagonist of some kind of coming of age film, perhaps a romance.

Taehyun would be the secondary character. He is Yeonjun's best friend and is often his partner in crime in most situations. He'd be the protagonists' rock, and would come up with mmost of the solutions to their problems. Characters like Taehyun - the 'sidekicks', or the 'wingmen', if you will, always seem to be more charming to me ; I don't even have to shift my gaze towards him to know why I find him that way. Silky hair styled in a subtle way, neat cotton jumpers with perfectly cuffed trousers, candied lips and a glint in his eyes that says 'I know everything'. I wish I was closer with him... he's just so alluring.

Kai would be the fan favourite. Not too present in the main story, but absolutely adored by the fanbase. He'd be the teenage girls' resident 'uwu softboi', and he's defnitely have edits made of him with cat ears and blush and hello kitty bandges all over his face. I guess he just has that endearing aura about him, and he never lets an ounce of negativity seep out of his tiny mouth. I've never been able to connect with Kai much because he's so shy, but he's always been soft and warm to me.

Soobin would be somewhere in the middle. I'm never quite sure about him. He's smart and intuitive, and provides a lot of witty comments that would be good one liners. He'd have more of a present role than me and Kai, but not quite 'main character' material. It's ironic how I have the least to say about my closest friend, but I'm just not sure. Our friends only really go to him when they need something, rather than doing things for him back, so if Yeonjun is the protagonist then Soobin would just be a casual aide to his story.

I'd probably be the comic relief character. Not important to the story, mostly in the background, only useful for lightening the mood with stupid jokes. I'd probably have those 'beomgyu being confused about everything' and 'beomgyu being a living meme' compilations made about me. That's about it.

"Earth to Beomgyu?" Yeonjun taunts, waving his hand infront of my face.

"Close your mouth, Gyu, you'll catch flies." Soobin says, leaning towards me, chomping on some other kind of snack. His witty comment earns a shreiking laugh from Kai and quiet laughs from the other two, along with an amused smirk on his own face. I don't know what they were talking about before, or when they actually noticed that I wasn't paying attention, so I just play along by laughing back. I think I laughed a bit too loud because Yeonjun is now staring at me with a slightly confused look on his face instead of snickering like he was before. Oh well. At least I'm present now.

I take my can of fanta in one hand and glide my fingertip against its rim, enjoying the smooth feeling of the damp metal. I look at the clock. 8:21. Almost time for my 8:30 lecture. I stand up and mutter a quick goodbye as I sling my backpack over my shoulder. Stuffing my airpods into my ears, I slunk away into the abyss of students, hoping my hazy mindset wont end up in me getting lost and being late, as it has many times before.

~

[letssingintherain]

empty dreams ➵ d.m.

you accidentally slip in draco’s bed instead of your boyfriend’s for some cuddles. 

pairing: draco malfoy x y/n (slytherin) x blaise zabini 

summary: draco has had a soft spot for you since year 3 but has to conceal it because his best mate starts dating you. it becomes harder to deal with after a heart-fluttering instance, making draco’s life quite a bit more miserable. 

contains: 3.5k words of angst and draco being a simp. NO cheating!! set in year 6 with no voldy. :)

song recs: dancing on my own - calum scott, hold me while you wait - lewis capaldi, somebody else - the 1975 (i listened to these songs and a few others for inspo)

Draco was terribly in love with his best mate’s girlfriend and it irritated him to no end. 

The infatuation started long before Blaise asked Y/N out, and to be honest, Draco had no clue exactly when it started. All he knew was that during his third year he began taking notice of the way your eyes sparkled with mirth, the way your hair caught the sunlight, the way your dimples lingered on your face after hearing a witty remark, and the way you showed selfless concern for everyone without being afraid to speak your mind. After that, he found it hard to focus on anything else but the beat of his pounding heart when you were talking to him. 

Draco never made a move because he was scared of losing your friendship. Y/N, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Daphne, Theodore, along with Crabbe and Goyle were the most tight-knit friend group in Slytherin. So it was easy for Draco to use the excuse of “keeping the friend group intact” and avoid ever confronting his feelings about you. Unfortunately for Draco, Blaise didn’t share the same sentiment and asked Y/N on a date to Hogsmeade a few weeks ago.  

~

You were chattering with Daphne and Pansy in the common room about the absurdity of the latest “Quibbler” when you heard someone approach you three. 

“Hey ladies, mind if I borrow Y/N for a moment?” Blaise flashed a charismatic smile at the trio and extended his arm to Y/N. You glance at the girls in surprise before taking Blaise’s hand. 

“No, not at all!” Daphne and Pansy share knowing looks while giggling. 

Feeling quite out of the loop, you follow Blaise outside of the common room, not sure what to expect. 

He gently let go of your hand once you two reached an empty hallway. Blaise turned around to face you and took a deep breath. 

“So I’ve been wanting to tell you for some time now..I find you very attractive,” He said these words slowly while observing your reaction. “I’d love to get to know you more and take you on a date to Hogsmeade, if you’re okay with that?” 

Your were shocked by his proposal because you had never imagined Blaise Zabini to have feelings for you. You knew how many girls would wait nervously outside his classes hoping to catch a glimpse of him. You and your friends would even roll your eyes at the sight and tease Blaise about having a “fan club”. 

After getting over the shock, you looked at Blaise and thought about his words seriously. “Blaise is really attractive,” you noted the way his jumper with rolled up sleeves perfectly fit his body. “And I do always have a good time with him,” you added on after thinking of his sly humor and good-natured personality. 

“I’d be honored.”

~

Draco winced at the memory of the start of you and Blaise’s relationship. He worried that Blaise would follow his old pattern of dating girls just to dump them a few weeks later, but everyone else in the group assured him that he was overthinking. He had congratulated Blaise with a forced smile and a pat on the back while fuming inside. He couldn’t exactly blame Blaise though, it’s not like he confided to Blaise about his crush on you. 

Which is the reason why Draco is currently doing his best to remain focused on Professor Snape’s drawling voice and not look at you whispering to Blaise from the corner of his eyes. 

Blaise looked as charming as ever in his signature look—a dark green jumper with rolled up sleeves over a collared shirt, with his Slytherin tie poking out slightly. You looked like a princess with your flowing [y/h/c] hair and the green headband nestled snugly on the top of your head. You ditched the jumper and were just wearing a collared shirt with a Slytherin tie along with the normal green plaid skirt and knee-high socks. 

The sight of you two looking so attractive together made Draco feel cold and glum inside. And it didn’t help that the classroom was actually chilly and gloomy.

“You’d think they’d be able to at least afford some bloody heat lamps in this place, but I guess not.” Draco mumbled to himself in annoyance while blowing on his hands and rubbing them together. He was wearing the normal Slytherin uniform complete with a long cloak, but with a few special touches that displayed his status. He had a small snake enamel pinned on his tie that complimented the snake signet ring he always kept on his right ring finger. 

Most of the students at least made the effort to seem like they were focused on the greasy-haired professor, unlike you and Blaise. Snape finally noticed this and focused his eyes on you two. 

“Today we will be attempting to make the Elixir of Euphoria to practice for your NEWT level exams. It is a highly advanced potion so I suggest all of you give it your full attention.” Snape waved his cloak dramatically and glared at Y/N and Blaise. 

“I am talking about you two, Miss. Y/L/N and Mr. Zabini. Or is whatever you’re so feverishly discussing more urgent?” Snape’s comment earned a scoff from Draco while the whole class looked back at the couple. 

“No, professor. Sorry.” You and Blaise grinned sheepishly and moved slightly apart, eyes gleaming when you exchanged glances. 

It physically pained Draco to see you two act so close. He wished that he could be the one to bring a smile to your face, to shower you with affection, and to spoil you endlessly with his wealth. And he wished you could be his person to comfort him when he felt down, to run your hands through his silky platinum hair, and to assure him that he was enough and everything was okay. 

But these were all delusions, and all he could presently do was sulk and twirl his ring while he fixed his gaze to the front of the room. 

Snape huffed and turned around to stand behind his desk. He tapped his cauldron two times with his wand, filling it up with a glowing yellow substance that resembled sunlight. 

“Your instructions are on the board along with some tips, and your ingredient list is in your textbook.” Snape flicked his wand at the blackboard, revealing intricate steps in tiny font that filled up the entire board. The class groaned at the sight and reluctantly opened their dusty books. 

Daphne worked with Pansy, Crabbe paired up with Goyle, and of course you partnered up with Blaise, which left Theodore unlucky enough to face Draco’s wrath. 

Theodore slipped in the seat beside Draco and slapped him on his shoulder.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing, because I bloody well don’t.” Theodore chuckled, hands crossed behind his head while leaning back in the chair. 

“Of course you don’t. Just try not to get in the way, yeah?” Draco snapped impatiently and squinted to read the board. 

“Sounds perfect to me,” Theodore dismissed Draco’s attitude for his usual cynicism. He absentmindedly looked around in the classroom, eventually spotting you and Blaise. 

“Oi, Y/N and Blaise are snogging!” He pointed out, entertained by the sight of some of his closest friends kissing. 

Draco smashed the shrivelfig to a fine powder before realizing that he meant to only chop it. He cursed under his breath and reached for a new one. 

Theodore noticed Draco’s strange temper and remarked, “What’d the shrivelfig do to you, mate?” Draco glared at him, causing Theodore to raise his hands in defeat and back away from the cutting board. 

Draco couldn’t resist peeking at you two and immediately regretted it after he confirmed you two were indeed getting cozy. He sneered in distaste before feeling his heart ache painfully. Draco tried to ignore the ache as best as he could and resolved to focus on his potion. 

...

“Let’s see if any of you possess the talent of a potion-brewer.” 

Potions class was finally coming to an end, and Snape wandered around to check everyone’s results. Only a few cauldrons resembled the desired bright yellow color and Draco’s was sadly not one of them. Draco and Theodore stared at their dark orange concoction while exchanging grimaces. 

“You may try a sip of your elixir. It should induce silly giggles and an overall mood-boost.” Snape observed you and Blaise’s sunshine-yellow potion, showing silent signs of approval as he glided away. 

Draco scowled at the sight and downed a whole bottle of his own potion out of pure spite. After a few moments of regret and apprehension, his nose started to bleed profusely. 

“Ahh, what’d you do that for?” Theodore hastily handed a towel to Draco, who groaned and leaned his head back to slow down the flow. 

“Nothin’...thought it’d be safe.” Draco’s voice became nasally due to the blood spouting from his nose. 

“Mr. Malfoy, please see Madam Pomfrey before you bleed out in my class.” Snape glanced down at Theodore and Draco, tilting his head at the door. 

“Yes, sir.” Draco muttered while covering his nose with a towel, passing by you and Blaise on the way out. 

“Hey, Draco’s got a bloody nose!” Blaise pointed out in amusement while you giggle next to him. Normally Draco would respond with a witty jab, but he really wasn’t in the mood to do so. 

“Shove off, Blaise,” Draco spat in a hostile manner, feeling ashamed at his disposition. He proceeded to hurriedly exit the room, leaving you and Blaise confused.  

“Maybe his elixir had the opposite effect?” Blaise shrugged it off. 

...

It was night-time and Draco had visited Madam Pomfrey’s three times to no avail. 

“I’ve told you this already but I’ll repeat myself once more, Mr. Malfoy. You’re just going to have to let it bleed out by itself.” She passed him several blood-replenishing potions to drink over the course of the night. 

“What’s the use of a healer if they advise you to bleed out?” Draco thought in annoyance before accepting the potions. 

Blaise offered Draco to switch beds to be closer to the bathroom, in case he were to keep bleeding throughout the night. Draco accepted begrudgingly, annoyed at how his feelings for you made it difficult for him to fully appreciate Blaise’s kind actions. 

Though he knew it wasn’t Blaise’s fault, Draco couldn’t help but be bitter towards his best mate.

“It must be the jealousy,” Draco admitted sullenly while laying on Blaise’s bed, observing how he was facing the windows of the Black Lake instead of his usual position of lying next to them. 

The lake lapped at the windows soothingly, giving the dorm room a dappled green glow. The room had several mahogany four-poster beds and was decorated lavishly thanks to the generous donations by Slytherin alumni. Draco was the only one in the room so it was filled with a peaceful silence that implored sleep.  

Draco’s sleepy haze caused his mind to unconsciously drift to images of you and Blaise. How you two would hold hands while walking to class, jokingly feed each other food in the Great Hall, and even kiss during Potions. He irritatedly turned over, forcing himself to focus on anything else. 

After listening to to the waves of the lake for a few more minutes, he couldn’t help but give in to the pull of sleep. 

“Stop it!” Y/N flustered and pushed his chest. “It’s a common mistake.” 

Draco chuckled and held your wrist. He pulled you closer to him and took advantage of his towering height over you by tilting your chin up. 

“Don’t worry, darling. I found it quite endearing.” He smirked at the blush in your cheeks. He reached down to wrap his hands over your waist, feeling your hards cross over his neck. 

Draco indulged in the smell of your hair, taking in the clean notes of your perfume. He hugged you tighter, not wanting to pull apart. 

Draco was waken up from his dream by the sound of a yelp and opened his eyes groggily. To his surprise, he met the [y/e/c] eyes of Y/N, who seemed even more taken aback than him. 

Draco immediately backed away, bewildered at how this happened. 

“Draco! Why are you in Blaise’s bed?” Your eyes were wide open and Draco inappropriately noted how they were even more beautiful close up. You slid off the bed before turning around to face Draco with your arms crossed. You were still clad in your normal uniform while he was in a loose white tee and gray sweatpants. 

“He switched with me so I can get to the bathroom quicker because my nose keeps bleeding.” After saying this, he felt blood rush to his head that was undoubtedly about to come out of his nose. Draco sat up on the bed, feigning ease in the hope that it was an illusion. 

“Why’d you pull me closer then?” You asked curiously, embarrassed that you accidentally climbed in bed with the platinum blonde boy. 

“I don’t know, it was a dream, Y/N! Why would I push someone away in a dream?” Draco threw his hands up exasperatedly, also embarrassed that he unknowingly cuddled you. 

You felt your lips curve upward, finding the situation humorous. Draco saw this and started grinning too. To his horror, blood began spurting out of his nose, making him rush to the bathroom. Y/N followed him closely, both worried and curious at his infliction. 

After reaching the sink and letting the blood out, Draco exhaled in relief. He turned to his side and looked into your eyes, suddenly resisting the urge to laugh. You looked so cute looking up at him with wide-eyed concern. You meet his eyes with a grin and you two finally laughed freely at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. 

“I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable, Y/N. I’ll be more careful next time I switch beds with Blaise.” Draco teased while playfully nudging your shoulder. 

You shifted your weight on your feet and shook your head, “No, it was my fault too. I should’ve checked the hair color before getting in bed.” You reached up to ruffle Draco’s fluffy white-blonde hair amusedly. 

Draco felt his heart involuntarily skip a beat at the sudden contact and shifted away from Y/N. He cursed himself internally for showing signs of his infatuation and couldn’t bring himself to make a response. 

“Um...You wouldn’t happen to know where Blaise is right?” Y/N broke the silence, perplexed at the sudden awkwardness. 

Draco tensed at the mention of Blaise. 

“No.” He replied coldly before walking back into the room without making eye contact with you. He sat on the edge of the bed, deliberately gazing towards the windows of the lake and nowhere else. 

You were puzzled at the sudden coldness but didn’t dwell on it, assuming he was moody because of his pesky predicament. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go find him.” You tentatively walked to the door of the dorm. “Feel better, Draco!” You gave him a small smile before leaving the room and closing the door with a soft click.  

Draco waved slightly, not wanting to reveal any more emotions. After making sure you had left, he threw himself on the bed frustratedly. It didn’t help his obsession that he felt the emptiness of the bed more clearly now. It also didn’t help that he has a memory of your eyes close up. It definitely didn’t help that he remembered the scent of your perfume. 

He sighed before turning over, silently vowing to let go of his feelings for you, both for his sake and Blaise’s. His vows were greeted by the silence of the dorm, quiet except for the gentle lapping of the lake. 

He didn’t think it was possible, but the ache in his heart grew. 

“It’s got to get worse before it gets better, right?” Draco sighed once more, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

...

Months go by, and Draco was proud at how he successfully suppressed his feelings. You no longer took up the majority of his thoughts and he could finally return to being his snarky self with Blaise. 

Draco hung out with the group as if nothing was wrong, and no one seemed to notice anything different. The group maintained the old dynamic of sarcasm and witty humor, reflecting Draco’s wish of “keeping the friend group intact”. 

He was strolling around with his buddies in his usual air of haughtiness when he noticed Pansy and Daphne quietly whispering about you in the corner of a hallway. 

“...Can’t believe Blaise said that..Poor Y/N...” They sighed, clearly worried about what happened to you.  

Draco’s felt a familiar tightening in his heart he thought he got rid of. He ditched his other friends and walked towards the two, apprehensive to learn about what happened.  

“What’d he do?” Draco demanded, his imperative demeanor taking Pansy and Daphne by surprise. 

“I’m not sure if she’d want us to tell anyone yet.” Daphne hesitated, unsure of what to say. 

When Draco realized they weren’t going to give up any clues he scowled and strode off, deciding to ask you himself. 

He walked briskly in the stone hallways of the castle, thinking of places you could be. He knew you loved the stars, but it was still bright outside, so there was no reason for you to be in the Astronomy Tower. He knew you loved the serene setting of the Black Lake, but it was bound to be infested with underclassmen on a sunny day like this, which you wouldn’t like. He realized you must be in the garden, recalling the way you always looked at the flowers in adoration.

He picked up his pace and walked swiftly in the direction of the garden. His thoughts made him restless on the way there, “What could Blaise have done?” 

He added another thought hastily, “What can I do without crossing a line?” 

He spotted you in the garden before he figured out the answer to his question. 

Draco watched as you sat on a stone ledge directly facing the wisteria flowers. The flowers were not yet in full bloom, so the tree was scattered unevenly with buds and flowers. You distractedly dangled your legs in the air and flourished your wand to enchant flower buds to grow towards you. Your eyes were glossy and your face was tear-stained, but Draco thought he had never seen you look more ethereal. 

He reached you in time to see your charm work too ambitiously, making the flowers blossom and wilt in mere seconds. You started to break into tears, hugging your body close. Draco slowly approached you, but you were too busy crying to notice. 

“Hey.” Draco said hesitantly. 

“Oh! Hi, Draco.” You wiped your eyes furiously and looked up at him. You gave a tiny smile that looked more like a grimace. 

The sight of you being so sad made Draco miserable as well, feeling the tug at his heartstrings. 

“What happened?” Draco asked in an empathetic tone and took a seat next to you on the ledge, making sure to give you ample space. 

“Blaise..broke up with me. He said he just wants to be friends. How could he say that after months?” You said bitterly, tears sliding down your face.

Draco noticed the drops of water gliding down your face and had to use all his willpower to refrain from wiping away your tears. He hated that a guy made you feel like this, especially because it was his best friend. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Draco awkwardly reached out to rub your shoulder in soft circles. 

You leaned against his hand on your shoulder, sniffling quietly. 

You two stay like this for a while, before Y/N scooted closer to Draco, burying your head in his chest and clutching his white dress shirt while emitting muffled sobs. 

Draco’s heart broke at the sight, holding you closer to comfort you. He secretly cursed Blaise out before feeling guilty. He felt like an accomplice as he watched you let your pain out. 

How did he let you get hurt? 

You cried some more before looking up at Draco with teary eyes. 

“I’m sorry for ruining your shirt.” You smiled in an embarrassed manner and moved away from him. He noticed how your lashes were slick with tears and how your nose and cheeks were rosy from crying. He felt his heart rate quicken after glancing at your swollen lips, and quickly averted his eyes before blushing slightly. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Draco shrugged nonchalantly. You two look at the wisteria trees, feeling the breeze flow through both of your hair. Draco understood why you liked this spot, it was quiet and came with a stunning view of the trees and flowers. It was a beautiful day out, sunny with some clouds floating lazily. You both bask in comfortable silence. 

“I just feel...hollow? Like I'm missing a part of myself,” You confessed eventually, wearily twisting around to look at Draco.  

He nodded knowingly, very familiar with the empty feeling you were describing. He turned to make eye contact with your wounded eyes, feeling just as much heartbreak and pain as you did. 

Even though Draco hated seeing you with Blaise, he couldn’t help but feel like he hated seeing you heartbroken even more. 

a/n: this is the first fic i’ve ever written, so i feel quite nervous publishing it. if you read this far, i appreciate you so so much <33. i’m thinking of writing a sequel to this with more fluff and possibly more focus on y/n’s perspective, so let me know your thoughts! :) 

edit!: hi lovelies, i’ve decided to write more parts to this fic! thanks for all the love and lmk if you want to be tagged <3    [read pt.2 here]

(also, i know slughorn should be the potions professor during their sixth year but i just felt like snape fit the story a bit more!)

-k.z.

[emsylcatac]

What the future holds, we'll never know

Summary

Marinette didn't know what the future was made of—but the glimpse of the one featuring her akumatised partner she had seen taught her one thing: she and Chat Noir should never be together.

Which currently wasn't really a problem considering that she was in love with Adrien, and that they had been getting closer lately.

Read it on AO3

Hiiii @ladynoirist Lisa gemini bro ♥♥♥ I was soooo happy to be your totally secret (yes pretend you never guessed it was me okay I was so subtle) santaaaa for the @mlsecretsanta !!! (also pretend we're totally in December and not in May ho ho ho! Reindeers are still roaming!)

I'm so sorry for how late I am, but I hope you'll enjoy this fic 😄

───※ ·❆· ※───

21st of January, 1h after the reveal

Marinette stood in front of the bistro door, pacing. Pretending to look at the menu, pretending to think of what to choose, pretending that everything was absolutely normal and fine and this was just a perfectly normal day.

It was, however, not normal nor fine inside her head.

She had to push that door. She was already a good half an hour late and it wouldn’t do good to make her friends wait longer—excuses were harder and harder to explain the more she shied away.

Please, don’t be here. She never thought she would hope for that. Please have your bodyguard bring you home. Your father forcing you to go home.

Please, go home by yourself and find some stupid excuse.

She would feel bad for having all these unfair hopes if she hadn't been feeling completely panicked inside.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Gulping, she chanced a glance at it.

Alya girl where are u?? we’re waiting to order!

Well. She couldn’t delay for much longer. Taking a deep breath, Marinette pushed the door open and scanned the room.

Please, please don’t be inside.

She wasn’t being fair, she knew that—it wasn’t his fault if she didn’t feel like facing him.

“Marinette!”

She turned in the direction of her name where Alya was waving at her, hand held up high, while Nino was grinning and—he was there.

Swallowing—though her mouth had been dry for a while now—Marinette headed towards them despite her legs screaming at her to turn around and run as fast as possible away from here.

“H-hey,” she stuttered, “sorry for...for being late.”

She sat next to Adrien (because of course she had to be seated next to him). Their eyes met for a split second and he gave her a timid smile that she couldn’t return.

“It’s fine,” Alya waved off, “the most important thing is that you’re here now! But quick, choose what you want to eat, I’m staaarving!”

She, for one, clearly wasn’t.

Adrien was giving her quick glances and she tried her best to ignore him.

It was him, it was him, it was him.

And it was oh so unfair. She picked up her menu to hide her face as tears threatened to escape  the corners of her eyes.

───※ ·❆· ※───

5th of October, 108 days before the reveal

“Try that.”

Marinette turned around, abandoning the search for her size amongst the many red skirts on the clothes rail.

Adrien was holding a tacky glittery dress, reflecting  the light of a multitude of disharmonious colours, supporting two red fabric-flowers on each shoulder straps. It was positively horrendous, the kind of clothes you wonder who would ever buy when passing in front of it in the store.

She looked up to Adrien’s innocent smile and had to bite down the disgusted expression she suspected she must have shown for a split second. She hoped he hadn’t noticed—the last thing she wanted was to offend him. Growing-up in the fashion industry didn’t make him a good judge in the field, it seemed.

“I… You want me to...to try that on?” she stammered.

He gave her a nod, humming enthusiastically.

Maybe it was the kind of dress Adrien saw on girls at fashion shows, and she just hadn't seen it before. Maybe he liked it on them.

Maybe he would find her pretty in it.

Against her better judgement (because her judgement was always lost when it came to him, wasn’t it?), Marinette stretched a hand towards the piece of clothing, gulping. She raised her eyes to his, offering a tight smile.

Adrien’s mouth twitched, and his eyes held a new mischievous glint that hadn’t been there a few seconds ago.

“You...you’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?” she said, deflating.

He burst out laughing, a genuine, happy laugh that reminded her of a certain day in the rain, and she couldn’t help but smile despite herself.

“You should have seen your face!”

He hadn't made fun of her in a while—in fact, he hadn’t laughed at her since that day, in the rain. The thought of him being comfortable enough with her to allow himself to do it again made her cheeks heat up.

“I could...I could call your bodyguard or...or your dad! Yes! I could call your dad and out you, you know!” she threatened, fighting back the nerves that always messed up her words when she spoke to him.

She wouldn’t mess up today.

It stopped Adrien momentarily and suddenly he was pleading her, begging with joined hands.

“Marinette,” he said, and he did sound serious—she would have been convinced had his eyes not looked a tad too much like a kicked puppy’s, “please, you can’t do that. Please please please please, I’m sorry for ruining your shopping day and running into you and insisting to tag along and—”

Marinette giggled. “I’ll wear it,” she said, snatching the terrible (terrible!!) dress from his hands, careful to not brush his fingers and make it awkward. “Because unlike you who’s trying to hide, I’m no coward.”

Adrien straightened up. “I’m no coward either!”

She could feel her heart beating erratically in her chest. She wasn’t nervous. She wasn’t gonna be nervous when talking to Adrien. Not again. Not this time. She could banter with him—this was known territory. Not with him though, never with him, but…

“Okay,” she crossed her arms. Her eyes scanned  the different clothing items before landing on a pink plastic fur dress on a mannequin. “Prove it.”

He choked on a laugh before grinning at her. “Oh, you’re so on.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

16th of November, 66 days before the reveal

Adrien opened his diary, ready to write down the homework of the day Mrs Bustier was dictating.

The sound of ruffling papers and rummaging in bags filled the classroom, but he tried to focus on one sound in particular, resisting the urge to smile.

Any moment now.

Just a little longer before—

A loud groan resonated from behind him, and this time he let the grin slip onto his face, thankful that she couldn’t see it.

“What’s wrong?” Alya’s whisper made its way to his ears.

“Someone drew me with a towel on the head, swimming glasses and an ugly party dress!”

Adrien couldn’t help the snort that escaped him.

Teasing Marinette, he found, was very entertaining. He didn’t know exactly when he started to feel comfortable enough to do it. Didn’t know what exactly it was that was making it deliciously familiar yet all so new—and above all, warm.

Her reaction had been worth the wait. He  silently delighted in the way she battled between raging against him and finding him hilarious (because with the way she giggled, or stammered, or even bit her lips the few times he had joked with her, before getting ahold of herself and teasing back, she had to find him hilarious, right?).

He guessed he deserved the ruler slap he received on the head.

Yes, Adrien liked her reactions, he thought while rubbing his head. He liked that new, teasing  dynamic he’d been having with her for a couple of weeks now. He liked it.

But above all, he loved—

Adrien let a soft fond smile pull at his lips when he opened his diary that evening, once seated at his desk. A drawing quickly scribbled in the margin lit up by his many computer screens welcomed him of what he assumed was a new Gabriel ad featuring him in an atrocious fur dress coloured in fluro pink highlighter.

Above all, he loved her witty and sneaky comebacks.

───※ ·❆· ※───

8th of December, 44 days before the reveal

“What are you thinking about?”

Ladybug saw a smile stretch across her partner’s lips. He let out a fond chuckle, throwing his head up towards the sky. His eyes were closed, but she could tell that he was seeing more stars that way than if they had been opened looking up at the Parisian sky. She envied him a little.

“I’m thinking,” he simply said.

And didn’t say anything after that.

She waited a little, just in case, but he remained silent. His feet dangled above the edge of the roof and he started gently swinging his legs one after the other. He let out a breathless giggle, as if he couldn’t control it, and hummed a song her ears caught only because of the wind blowing towards her.

Her heart did a somersault in her chest at the sight. She felt a weird mix of emotions, not unpleasant but not entirely enjoyable either, bittersweetness and happiness mingling together.

He did look happy—but tonight it felt like she wasn’t a part of it. That he was in his own bubble of joy, a bubble she once had complete control over but, in that instant, was slipping through her fingers. If she was being honest, it had been slowly and subtly escaping her for a while now.

He was in love, she realised. Her gaze on him softened, before she turned away from him to look towards the sky, too, and exhaled a puff of hot air that dissipated in the cold and continued to grow as she joined him in his humming, closing her eyes.

If she wasn’t the one he was shining for tonight, she would still share that moment of exhilaration with him.

Besides, she had reasons to feel giddy herself too.

───※ ·❆· ※───

29th of December, 23 days before the reveal

“Hey.” Plagg’s voice wasn’t loud enough to pull Adrien out of his reverie completely, but enough to bring the cloud he was on a little bit back down to Earth. “You’ve been staring at the ceiling for the past twenty minutes now. What’s up?”

Adrien let the thread of his lucky charm pass through his fingers, feeling the beads between them rolling from one to another. “I have?”

Plagg stayed silent for a few seconds. “Yes. Are you alright?”

Adrien chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.” I have been for a little while now, he didn’t say.

Suddenly, he got up, walked towards his computer, picked up his phone from his desk and opened Instagram. His fingers quickly found Marinette’s name and pressed her icon to see her latest story. He smiled as a selfie of her and Alya appeared, and played it again once it was over.

“Ah. I see.” Adrien hadn’t noticed Plagg flying above his shoulder but he couldn’t care less. “You like her?”

“I love her,” he simply corrected.

“Really?! Planning on asking her out? Sweeping her off her feet?”

Adrien shook his head, chuckling. He put his phone back on his desk and let himself fall further in his seat, pushing his feet against the desk leg to propel himself back.

Marinette, Marinette, Marinette.

“We’ll see,” he stretched his arms above his head. “We’ll see what happens and when I feel that the time is right. I don’t want to mess it up. Not this time.”

Not with her.

───※ ·❆· ※───

11th of January, 10 days before the reveal

When she found Adrien waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs that morning, blushing, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, the other holding a yellow rose with red tips on the petals and stammering a simple yet powerful “I think I love you”, Marinette was glad she had been on time for school for once.

───※ ·❆· ※───

21st of January, 1h before the reveal

“I can’t believe you made me wake up at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning,” Marinette shook her head.

Adrien laughed and held her hand tighter as he pulled her along with him, striding alongside the Seine. “But you have to admit that it was worth it.”

Spending time with you is worth the world, she thought. I could wake up at five if that’s what you wanted. She didn’t say any of that out loud. They had only barely started dating, after all. It could scare him off.

Instead, she let half a smile pull at her lips. “I suppose.”

Adrien stopped in his tracks and turned to her. “It was worth it! It just snowed during the night—for once! It’s so rare, we have to enjoy it! And the sunrise was beautiful!”

She crossed her arms, pretending to think about it and evaluate her morning.

“It was,” Adrien insisted, pleaded for her to agree.

“Fine,” she conceded, giggling. “It was beautiful. I’m glad you forced me out of bed.”

She was rewarded by a brilliant smile, that melted her heart despite the cold January air on her cheeks, and a kiss on her forehead (that melted her whole).

A giddy laugh escaped her and she couldn’t help but kiss his nose, making him giggle, the sound sweeter than the glockenspiel a busker was playing a few meters away.

Adrien’s cheeks were red when she pulled away—from the cold or from her kiss, she didn’t know, but she hoped for the latter. She decided to grab his winter hat, leaving his hair all messy on top and wide eyes of outraged shock on his face. Adrien, she had realised, really liked when she was messing with him and she berated herself for never having dared to do such a thing before.

In retaliation, he grabbed her own hat and put it on his head. “Jokes on you,” he said, “now I have a pink pompom while you have a lame black one!”

She laughed as she put his hat on her own head. He likes me, she chanted in her head. He loves me even. He loves me, he loves me, and I love him.  All was well that day. All was perfect.

“When are we meeting up with Alya and Nino for lunch, again?”

“I think we still have an hour,” Adrien replied.

It felt like nothing could disrupt their date, their day, them, really.

───※ ·❆· ※───

21st of January, the reveal

Accidents were stupid, most of the time. One second of miscalculation, one careless mistake and every neatly protected secret could be disrupted forever.

Detransforming in the same alleway was probably the stupidest, lamest and most careless way to reveal their identities, Marinette and Adrien thought, as they faced each other with wide eyes and heart beating too fast in their rib cages with their kwamis hanging incriminatingly at their side.

Marinette didn’t think. She ran.

───※ ·❆· ※───

21st of January, 1h30 after the reveal

To say the atmosphere was awkward was an understatement. They were barely glancing at each other, passing each other the salt without brushing a finger or looking where they handed it.

Marinette overfilled Adrien’s glass when pouring him some water; Adrien startled when Marinette’s hand accidentally brushed his arm while trying to clean his table up.

They were a mess.

In a way, Marinette was glad that Alya and Nino were here to provide distraction.

She just hoped they wouldn’t notice the tension between her and Adrien.

“So, how have you two lovebirds been doing? Still in the chummy-chummy phase?”

So much for that. There was an awkward silence, none of them knowing what to really say.

“Sure,” she decided to take the plunge and ate a mouthful of fries so she wouldn’t have to explain further.

Alya and Nino said nothing, looking between the two of them.

“We’ve been, uh…we went walking around the Seine this morning,” Adrien mumbled. “To see the snow and, uh…”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Marinette cut. She couldn’t believe she was managing to talk to him. “Y-your...your winter hat.”

She handed it to him and Adrien looked at it for a few seconds before taking it back, his face crumbling and disheartened.

“...Thanks. Um, here is yours, I suppose.”

Marinette closed her eyes tight as she snatched her hat from his hands, feeling nauseous all of a sudden.

Where did they stand, now? They had barely even started dating. Could they brush off the massive new developments that were their identities? Could superheroes even date?

White flashed before her eyes. Her heart did a somersault, and the nausea intensified, making her head spin.

Stupid. Idiot, superheroes couldn’t date, least of all her and Adrien.

It was unfair that she was having these thoughts now, when she still didn’t know what was going on in her head—Adrien, Chat Noir, her partner. The same… so similar yet so different.

He had given her a rose when he had confessed. It was such a Chat Noir thing to do...she should have known.

They were the same person and it was awkward and she needed time she didn’t get the luxury to have. The second she thought she had acknowledged this information, it would all come back the next with the panic accompanying it.

The silence following must have been long and heavy because Alya took in a sharp breath. “Okay. What’s going on between you two? You’ve been acting awkward since we’ve got here.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

23rd of January, 2 days after the reveal

“So, this is it?”

Adrien felt the knot in his throat tighten a little more and more as Marinette kept looking to the side, silent, avoiding his gaze. He didn’t know why he asked; he knew the answer. And he knew that hearing it would cut like a knife, but maybe that’s what he needed instead of foolishly pretending there was hope.

“This...this is it,” she finally said in a breath.

He swallowed. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she repeated.

“I… okay.” Okay. Because what could he say? It wasn’t like he could decide for her.

If it was only on him, of course he wouldn’t want anything to end. Of course he would fight for them, and try and see where they’d go, identities be damned because...well, it was still them, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry. I...I really am. It’s just… It’s…” Marinette sighed. “It’s just that it’s a lot to take in, you know?”

She had finally raised her eyes to his, and Adrien had to fight back tears; maybe it would have been better if she had continued to avoid him.

So he was the one to turn his eyes away this time.

“I guess,” he couldn’t help the bitterness in his voice to show through. “I just...I didn’t know it would be so bad.”

“It’s not! It’s not that! It’s just that… we still...we still need to get used to this,” she gestured between them, “and… superheroes ca—”

“—can’t date, I know. I understand. I mean—not completely, but... I get it.”

And he did; really, he did get it.

It was selfish of him, probably, to not want things to stop. He found that it was also maybe a little selfish of her to want them to.

None of them had decided to be heroes—and yet they had to bear the consequences of such a responsibility.

Looking back at her, she had now dropped down her eyes and wasn’t watching him anymore. A strong gust of wind blew on the balcony, making Marinette’s hair wave with it.

“It’s getting late,” Adrien spoke. “And you’re freezing out here. I should get going. We’ll see each other tomorrow at school.”

He extended his baton.

“Adri—Chat Noir! Wait!”

She grabbed his tail, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around. She was fidgeting, and looked tentatively into his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I hope it’s not...I hope it’s not too hard but…”

He sighed. “I’m not gonna lie and pretend it doesn’t hurt. It...it does. A lot. It’s like…” he sighed. “It’s like we had everything, and then…” He paused. “But I guess… none of us can control the way we feel, right?”

She nodded numbly. He attempted to give a smile, but he knew he wasn’t doing a good job at it.

“I just wished I knew what’s wrong with me, “ he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

“I… it’s not… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you,” Marinette tried. He could hear her voice trembling. I don’t think there’s anything right with me either, he didn’t say—and she didn’t say either, he noted with a bitter smile. “We’re just a mess right now.”

She bit her lip and he had to force to keep his eyes on hers. He felt terrible. Worse than all those times she had rejected him, because—well, because now he knew just how much he was losing.

“That we are.”

“We’re still...we’re still friends, right?” she asked after a few seconds of awkward silence.

“It’s you and me against the world, so… of course.” He shrugged.

And with that, he left, finally letting the tears blur his vision on his way home.

Tonight, their old promise sounded more bitter than comforting. Them against the world, the heroes fighting for the city, forced together by their duty and pulled apart at the same time.

───※ ·❆· ※───

23rd of January, 2 days after the reveal

Marinette rushed back inside her bedroom as soon as Adrien had left and threw her head in her pillow, crying her heart out. Screaming to Tikki how unfair it was to have to be responsible, at Master Fu for choosing this life for her, at herself for following it, at Adrien and Chat Noir for being the same people.

Shouting at Adrien again, at another Adrien she hadn’t even really known that it was all his fault. His fault, his fault, his fault, all his fault. She knew it was unfair of her—but she needed to put the blame on someone, and Chat Blanc, who didn’t exist anymore, seemed like a good candidate, no matter how wrong she knew it was.

───※ ·❆· ※───

24th of January, 3 days after the reveal

“...My father wanted us to break up.”

Marinette shrunk on herself. She wished she had been able to come up with a better excuse on the spot. Anything that would have avoided Adrien’s cold and numb tone when he repeated her flimsily excuse.

But nothing sounded plausible enough; nothing else could explain this sudden change in their dynamic.

“It...it was a surprise, really, we weren’t expecting it,” she tried, hoping he would follow her lead.

Adrien clicked his tongue. “A surprise, indeed.”

“Aaaand you didn’t think of dating in secret becaaause…?” Alya drawled, the cease in her brow increasing the longer she looked between the two of them.

“Because… well… because…” Marinette fumbled, trying to think  of a way out because Alya wasn’t wrong and it was a flaw in her carelessly crafted plan.

“Because Marinette didn’t want to,” Adrien supplied curtly.

Alya and Nino’s heads snapped towards her with incredulous looks in their eyes, making her involuntarily shrink on herself even more.

“She said it wasn’t worth a try,” he shrugged and sat down, his back now to her.

Alya looked between the two with a mix of worry, incomprehension and a hint of pity. Marinette didn’t dare look at Nino to see what emotions would flicker in his eyes.

“That’s not it, it’s…” she struggled, took a deep breath, and tried again. She had to roll with what he came up with. “If he were to find out we...we’d be in trouble. You’d be in trouble… and I don’t want that,” she whispered the last words.

“Like I said,” Adrien said coolly, half turning towards them. “Not even worth a try.”

Her heart crumpled.

───※ ·❆· ※───

26th of january, 5 days after the reveal

“Chat Noir, you’re here!” Marinette exclaimed, relieved.

He twirled his baton, deflecting a spurt of gooey green liquid she could only dread to know the composition of—some akumas truly were more disgusting than others to deal with. “As for every akuma.” He raised a brow. “Don’t act so surprised.”

She startled. In the midst of all the action, in the hope and wait for his arrival—because she always felt bolder and stronger once her partner was by her side—she had forgotten.

This was Adrien, her ex-boyfriend with whom she had broken up and had upsetted. And who still wasn’t talking to her much. Thinking about him as ‘ex’ suddenly hurt as she realised it was the first time she was referring to him as such in her head.

Marinette blinked back remorseful tears and tried ignoring the tightness in her chest to focus on the akuma again. She still needed to find where the akumatised object was, and she couldn’t let her emotions get in the way of her job.

She decided to pretend things were fine. “His name is Snowtty, we don’t know the victim but it’s a kid who was made fun of for having a runny nose after receiving a snowball in his face. Try to avoid his green spurts, they would freeze you on the spot!”

Adrien barely nodded before jumping into action, without so much as a word of acknowledgement like he would usually do. It hurt more than she would care to admit.

She knew they hadn’t talked since that evening on her balcony, but she had hoped he just needed time to process and that it wasn’t deeper than that. He had said they were still friends, hadn’t he?

Trying to ignore the sting in her eyes, she jumped after him into the fight.

“Ladybug! I see your pet has arrived to the scene as well,” Snowtty sneered. “All the better for me, I need both your miraculous after all!”

“I’m my own person, thank you very much,” Chat Noir said, none of his usual teasing in his voice. “And you won’t be getting any miraculous. Why don’t you give us your akuma instead and save everyone’s time? You’re just gonna lose like the others do, anyway.”

The akuma let out a growl of frustration and double-fired in their direction. Marinette ran for cover using her yoyo as a deflecting shield, Adrien using his baton.

He didn’t take cover with her.

She called him and was almost relieved when he picked up.

“Okay, he’s angrier than I thought he was. Any idea where the akuma could be?”

“You’re telling me you don’t?” he raised a brow. “He’s throwing his substance from that bracelet he has on his left wrist, and there aren’t any other objects.”

It seemed obvious now. But she wasn’t at the top of her game and was far too focused on her relationship with her partner than she was on the fight at hand, and she realised how detrimental it could be—not letting her personal life interfere with her duties as Ladybug was one of the rules she had promised herself to never break, yet here she was.

“Right,” she said, voice wavering. “I… Right. You’re right. Good job, Kitty.”

She regretted the nickname as soon as it left her mouth.

“‘tis nothing, Ladybug,” he shrugged. “Guess you cast your lucky charm and I distract him as usual.”

“Not yet, I need to first figure ou—” She let out a sigh as he ended the call, and turned to see him heading back straight for the akuma.

Well. The message was clear.

Throwing her yoyo angrily in the air, she called on her lucky charm. And was rewarded for her effort with an umbrella.

She wanted to scream.

She glanced up and closed her eyes, temporarily blinded by the brightness of the sun. “And it’s not even raining,” she grumbled.

She stomped away from her hiding place, only to be thrown on the ground a second after.

“Wha—”

Adrien was hovering over her and spared a glance behind towards Snowtty before standing and helping her up.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

But he ran back towards the akuma without so much as a glance in her direction. The momentary relief she felt when he saved her evaporated right away. She ran after him.

She hated how he could be upset with her in the middle of an akuma fight but still be able to focus on the task at hand. Because he was paying great care to the akuma and his surroundings and was trying to actively find a solution to put an end to the fight—something she had a harder time doing when her personal feelings were getting overwhelming. She couldn’t reproach him for that. It was just incredibly infuriating.

“Adri—Chat Noir, will you please talk to me and stop ignoring me?” Marinette exploded, frustrated. “It’s been two days and now is not the time!”

“Bold words from someone who ran away and avoided me for two days after discovering my identity,” Adrien snapped back, avoiding another blast of green.

Her heart stuttered painfully. He was right, but it made it no less hurtful to hear. She and Chat Noir had argued in the past, and while it had never been pleasant, it was something they knew how to navigate through — how to come out stronger from. She and Adrien, however? Never. She hadn’t even fathom the possibility of it ever coming up one day. Any comebacks she could have had died on her tongue, and Ladybug found herself speechless.

They both ran for cover once again behind the safety of a rooftop chimney, leaving Snowtty growling at having lost their track.

She swallowed painfully. “Listen. I know you’re hurt, I understand and you have every right to be. But we need to work together right now.”

He kicked some of the remaining snow from the roof, fidgeting with his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t think my father would approve of that.”

She frowned. “Of what?”

“Us working togeth—” he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Sorry. Forget I said anything, that was rude. Let’s...let’s just get back to the fight. I’ll behave.”

She grabbed his hand before he could vault away. “Wait.”

“Ladybug, I don’t think we have the time to talk or—”

“And I think it’s important that we talk now,” she said, giving him a pleading look. “Please.”

He kept eye contact with her for a few seconds before glancing hesitantly towards the city, nibbling at his lower lip. “Okay,” he finally murmured.

She involuntarily squeezed his hand in relief. He didn’t squeeze back, but he didn’t take it away either.

She hadn’t taken the time to focus on her feelings for him in the midst of her freakout about his identity; the warmth of his hand and the tips of his claws barely grazing hers and enhancing its delicacy made her realise that if anything, they had only gotten stronger.

It was painfully heartwarming.

“Are you...are you still… upset, about us, um… about me… you know…” she gestured between them.

“Breaking up with me?” He shook his head. “No. I’m hurt, yes. But that’s your right. That’s not what I’m angry about.”

“Then what…” she trailed off.

He sighed. “I thought I had made it clear, but I guess not.” He paused and kicked some more snow. “I didn’t like you telling everyone that my father forced us to break up,” he mumbled, and she had to listen carefully to pick up every word.

She blinked. “That’s… it?” She threw her hands in front of her at the glare he sent her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong… I agree it wasn’t my best excuse, but we had to find one that sounded plausible and…”

“That’s the thing, Marinette,” he said. “You decided to use my father as your excuse without asking me first.” He wrapped his arms around himself and looked to the ground. “I know my father isn’t… isn’t the best and that he can be… a little strict, but… He wouldn’t do that.”

There was a beat of silence.

“He wouldn’t do that,” he repeated more quietly.

She didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or her; but she didn’t know Gabriel Agreste much and thus couldn’t confirm nor refute his words.

He shook his head. “But the thing is… How would you have felt if I had told everyone that...that your parents had forced us to break up?” He lifted his gaze towards her, green eyes piercing through her.

“Oh,” she said, understanding dawning on her. “Oh. I see.”

“Yeah.”

“I hadn;t...I hadn’t thought about that,” Marinette admitted.

“Well.”He sniffed, angrily wiping at his eyes. “You should have.”

She hadn’t noticed that he was on the verge of crying, but she instantly felt shame coursing through her.

He kicked the snow harder. “And the worst part  is… the worst part is that… it workedI he almost spat. “They...they believed your excuse. They didn’t even doubt it, they just….” He gestured with his hands .“...Bought it as if it was obvious and that...that hurt.”

She stayed quiet for a few seconds, taking it in. She didn’t want to start the conversation now as to why it had been that easy for their friends to believe his father would do such a thing—it was something that they would have to discuss another day. A day on which he’d be more ready.

“I’m sorry,” she finally whispered. “I panicked because I...I realised I hadn’t thought of a reason for our breakup. My mind was busy with something else.” She chuckled dryly with a hand gesture in the air. “But you’re right, I crossed a line and that’s not an excuse. I probably would have killed you if you had told them my parents were the reason for our breakup.”

A timid smile appeared on his lips. “Good thing it was just me, then.”

She giggled tearily. “Yeah, good thing. But still. I hope you can forgive me. I promise I’ll be more careful.”

He sighed. “You know I can’t stay mad at you for very long, Marinette. Thank you. And I apologise too. I… I probably overreacted. And I should have known better than to snap during a fight.”

She smiled. “It’s okay. But maybe now, don’t wait until there’s an akuma to talk to me. Now that we know each other’s identities, you don’t need to.”

“I think I needed time to… digest that. But you’re right, will do.”

They looked at each other, smiling shyly as an awkward silence settled between them.

“So, Ladybug,” Adrien spoke with a wobbly smile, glancing towards the lucky charm in her hands, “shall we go back to the fight so you can play Mary Poppins?”

It still wasn’t a ‘my Lady’ or a ‘Buguinette’, and there was no wink to accompany his teasing, but he was back to joking. She would take it.

“Of course.” She smiled. “But let me recharge first.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

15th of February, 25 days after the reveal

“Psssst, come here, kitty kitty! I just want to be your frien—”

Marinette groaned as the ginger cat ran away, joining a tabby cat further up the alleway.

A chuckle from behind her startled her. “Looks like you’re having cat troubles.”

She turned around to meet her partner’s cat-like eyes, and yes, she was having cat troubles, indeed.

“They don’t like me,” she just said.

Adrien seemed to search her eyes for a second or two, his expression unreadable. “You know that’s not true.”

She didn’t know if the conversation was about the cats in the street anymore, and she wasn’t sure whose fault it was. But soon after, Adrien shook his head, blond hair softly sweeping against his cheeks, and let a smile pull at his lips.

He crouched down, grabbed his belt tail and slowly moved it around.

“You need to let them come to you.”

Marinette watched the tail slither, half hypnotised by the movement, until she heard the soft tapping of his claws on the ground. His fingers drummed in a steady rhythm, and she couldn’t help but marvel at how delicate the motion was.

It seemed that some cats around agreed because, soon enough, one advanced towards him, while another had laid down and began wiggling his butt and tail, ready to pounce.

She looked back at Adrien and he was smiling widely at them, anticipating their every move and excited to see their reactions. He looked so happy, so carefree and her heart did a somersault at the sight — she knew that she shouldn’t think like this, but she wished she had been the one he was looking at. She wished she could be one of these kittens, ready to tackle him to the ground, so they could fall in a heap of laughter together. So they could suddenly stop, and gaze into each other’s eyes, getting lost in each other, and maybe, just maybe, lean a little bit closer and ki—

“Wow.” Adrien’s loud laughter shook her out of her reverie. “No need to bite me, little one!”

While a small grey cat had attacked his tail and was nibbling at it, rolling on the floor, another one was more focused on his hand.

The white one with blue eyes.

“Careful,” she told him, “that one’s nasty.”

Adrien continued to play with the cat, moving a finger around and hovering it above his nose that the kitten tried to take a mouthful of.

“What? Why do you say that?”

“Well, he bit you. And earlier, he scratched me. Good thing my suit could protect me or my arms would have been covered in blood,” she informed.

Adrien smiled. “That doesn’t make him nasty.”

She spluttered. “Wha—? How—of course it does! He’s a mean cat, trust me on this! All white cats with blue eyes are!”

He chuckled, giving him a fond look the kitten didn’t deserve. “Good thing I’m a black cat, then.”

She shuddered.

“And he’s not mean,” he went on, “he’s broken.”

Marinette frowned. “What do you mean, ‘broken’?”

Somehow, Adrien had managed to pet the cat on the head, making him let out a contented meow. “Cats who have been abandoned or rejected by their mother too young tend to be more aggressive,” he explained, a pained smile she wasn’t quite sure how to interpret. “They scratch and bite a lot because in a way, they’re kind of lost.”

He took him in his arms and kissed his nose, to which the cat answered with a small ‘meow’. Staying close to his face, he scratched under his chin that the cat was exposing happily to him as a sign of complete trust. Adrien’s smile melted when a purr rumbled out of the kitten, and Marinette hung on it with both fascination and envy.

He let out a breathy chuckle. “See? He just needs someone to show him they care.”

“Show him they care,” she repeated dumbly. She could do that. She coul— “What if...what if it still doesn’t change anything?”

Adrien’s gaze left the kitten to turn to her. “What do you mean?”

“What if...What if even if someone cares about him, and cares about him so much they would sacrifice their own happiness for him if it came to it, and shows him everyday and tells him everyday but he still…” She stopped, fumbling with her words for a second. “...He still keeps biting and scratching and feeling lost and alone a-and no one can save him?” She lifted her eyes to his, only to find her vision blurry.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about?” Adrien breathed.

“M-maybe, this cat is doomed from the start. Maybe he’ll be like that forever, no matter what and maybe they’ll all be like that and—”

“My Lady,” a hand landed on her shoulder, stopping her from spiralling further—and here it was, the ‘my Lady ‘she’d been craving for so much, at the most unexpected time. “That’s stupid. I’m not sure if it’s about cats anymore,” he chuckled, “but I’ll pretend it is.”

She blinked back tears. He kept on, “Yes, some of these hurt cats never change. But not all of them! You can never really know what will happen, how they’ll evolve, because they’re all different, and they’ll all live different lives.”

He smiled at her, his delicate hand never leaving her shoulder, while the other continued petting the purring white kitten. “We can’t guess what will happen to them. All we can do is try, and take the risk. And maybe the owners of this lovely kitty will be lucky and have a loving ball of fur”— he bopped the cat’s nose who in turn let out a small ‘meow’— “or they’ll be less lucky and have a little monster that—ouch,” he said, as the cat chased his bopping finger to bite it, “bite them from time to time but still would be worth caring for.” He sighed a chuckle.

Marinette swallowed, taking it in. “So you mean that… the future of this cat isn’t… set in stone?” she asked carefully.

“Of course not! No one can know what he’ll grow into now, it will depend on a lot of factors.” He took his hand off her shoulder to lift the cat off his lap and nuzzle his nose with his. “Isn’t that right, little one? You’ll be a good kitty, won’t you?”

She let a smile pull at her lips at the sight. Adrien turned to face her with a big goofy grin on his face.

“If our future was written in our DNA, we’d have known all about our futures a long time ago,” he chuckled.

She let his words sink in, closing her eyes. What if...what if.

What if their love wouldn’t destroy the world, this time.

But what if it did again.

...But what if it didn’t?

She heaved a sigh, releasing some of the tension that had been weighing down on her. When she opened her eyes, it was to see that Adrien was back to playing with the kitten.

“And what are we gonna call you, hm? Ooooh, I know! See, I’m Chat Noir, so that would make you Chat Bla—”

“—FLOCON!” Marinette interrupted him.

He blinked at her. “Chat Flocon?”

“No, just...just Flocon. He’s white as snow, and fluffy like a snowflake, so it makes sense. And,” she added after a beat, “it’s cute.”

And it reminded her of that date they shared, just before revealing their identities, strolling through a snowy Paris. It was a memory she cherished, even if it didn’t end quite well.

Adrien grinned. “Okay. Flocon it is.” He scratched the cat’s chin, who purred in turn and tried to bite his finger again. “No,” he told him, “I said no biting, you thickhead.”

She could watch him bicker with a kitten for hours, she thought.

“Hey, Buguinette,” he called out to her, pulling her out of her momentary reverie, “you wanna hold Flocon?”

She blinked. “Errr… I don’t know if that's a good idea or…”

He laughed. “He’s not that aggressive. It’s up to you; but if you want to try befriending him again…” He held a half-wiggling and meowing Flocon in the air towards her.

Marinette bit her lip, and took a deep breath. Maybe it was a bad idea to cave, but... “Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll give him a try.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

26th of April, 95 days after the reveal

“Adrien, aren’t you gonna snap her in half?” Alya asked with incredulous eyes.

It made both him and Marinette giggle. “It’s like she doesn’t know that you’re usually the one snapping me in half between the two of us,” Adrien whispered in her ear, which made her laugh harder. “She said she wanted to!” he told Alya louder.

“Yes, Alya,” Marinette added, “I’m a strong girl and I can carry him! Right, Adrien?”

“Right!” he replied enthusiastically, clinging harder on her back.

He wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but he was too busy feeling lighthearted and free on this spring afternoon. It was the first warm day of the year, with only a slightly chilly breeze coming to ruffle his hair at times that only contributed in increasing his  giddiness. For the fifth time this day, he thanked the star that made his father allow him to go out to the temporary funfair with his friends—though he thought they were studiously working on a school project.

“It’s not because you can carry him that you should,” Nino said, shaking his head fondly.

“You’re just jealous because Alya isn’t carrying you.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Let’s ride to the moon and back!”

“To the moon and back!” Adrien repeated, one hand raised in the air.

Marinette let out a warrior cry before attempting to run, albeit slowly because of his weight, and he could tell they wouldn’t go far as he already felt himself slide down and her grip on his legs slacken.

He should have known they’d fall face first before she got too exhausted. If he had, maybe he’d have had the time to react and avoid it.

As it was, he just found himself on top of Marinette on the ground. He lifted himself up and sat down, Marinette soon doing the same.

Distantly, he heard Alya and Nino running towards them shouting “are you okay”s and “are you hurt”s at profusion, but he didn’t pay them any mind as Marinette looked up at him with eyes glinting with mirth and they both fell in a heap of laughters.

Some passersby looked at them funnily while others whispered some “that must hurt”s or “everything alright?”s to them.

“It’s okay,” Adrien told them. “We’ve had it worse!”

“Yes,” Marinette chimed in. “One time we were thrown by an akuma—”

“—A big tuna," he quickly corrected.

“—a big tuna, he’s right,” she repeated, “and we both fell right into a moving bus, and we survived!”

“And you find that funny,” Nino deadpanned, putting his hands on his hips as Adrien helped Marinette up.

Adrien just grinned at him. “Yup! We’re the survivors.”

“And we’re gonna make it!” Marinette sang.

“You’re insufferable,” Alya chuckled. “The both of you. I don’t know how you two can be more unhinged than me with Marinette, but—”

“—That’s because we’re exes besties,” Adrien chirped. Despite the months that had passed, it always hurt a little to call each other “exes”. But he had long since learned that laughing at his suffering was better than crying over it. He just wondered when and if he’ll ever be over her one day. He probably never really would.

“Hey,” Nino said indignantly. “But you’re my best friend!”

“Maybe, but are you also exes, hm?” Marinette asked him. “Because we are, and it makes us the unstoppable exes besties! And now, our next stop will be…” She jumped on Adrien’s back without warning and he caught her with a ‘oof’. “...to that splashing boat attraction over there!”

“Dudes, you already fell once, what are you doing?”

“We’re getting back up, Nino, and we try again,” she announced proudly, raising her fist up. “Let’s go to the boat, Adrien, and may our ship sail! Go, go, go!”

Adrien faintly heard a ‘they’re beyond help’ from Alya as he ran towards the attraction, both his and Marinette’s laughters echoing in the wind.

───※ ·❆· ※───

28th of May, 127 days after the reveal

Adrien landed with a grunt on the pavement. The suit was a good protector, but it didn’t stop his back from hurting from the impact with the ground. This akuma — Firebender as he called himself — truly was more violent than usual.

“Wow,” he managed to breath between two gasps, “you’re on fire today!”

He tried to push himself up with an arm, and raised his head towards Firebender with a half-closed eye. The fireball he saw coming towards him arrived so fast that he didn’t even have the time to do so much as widening his eyes. An anguish cry was the last thing he heard before it faded and he saw nothing at all.

───※ ·❆· ※───

28th of May, 127 days after the reveal

Marinette realised she was screaming when she felt her lungs were empty.

Usually, when an akuma took lives, the victims just disappeared into thin air, as if they had never been. They weren’t lying there, unmoving on the pavement like Adrien was. Somehow, seeing was worse than not.

She felt dizzy, as if everything around her was moving in slow motion. She staggered, trying to turn her head away from the sight of her unresponsive partner who was becoming blurrier and blurrier the longer she looked at him. She needed to breathe, she needed to—

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” she screeched instead, the sound reverberating into the street, bouncing from building to building.

She took a ragged breath, and another, closing her eyes as she took in the dead silence that greeted her scream.

She swallowed her first sob and squeezed her eyes tight shut, taking yet another heavy breath. She turned towards the akuma before opening her eyes, otherwise she knew she wouldn’t be able to tear her gaze away from Adrien’s dead form. She gritted her teeth as soon as the thought of him being gone entered her mind again.

“You’re a monster,” she spat, low and cold, the last word echoing through the silence and carrying her voice to Firebender’s ears — to Hawkmoth’s.

All these days worrying over the possibility of a devastating future she had seen, all this time doing everything she could to avoid it no matter how little she knew of it, and she hadn’t considered the possibilities she hadn’t been a witness of. All these days flirting with the line between caving and resisting only for her regretful indecision to hit her in the most cruel way.

“Give up, Ladybug,” Hawkmoth spoke through Firebender, “you no longer have your pet. All you have to do is surrender your miracu—”

“And what?” she spat. “Let my partner die? Listen to me, Hawkmoth. I have a chance to save him, and for that I need to defeat you. You think I’m stupid? I’m not giving up on Paris. I’m not giving up on him!”

And I’m not giving up on us, she told herself.

“Lucky charm!” she roared, rage and determination coursing through her veins.

She knew nothing about how Chat Blanc had really happened, she realised, catching the spotted chain falling from above. Nothing about her current future, as she scanned her surroundings for a solution. Nothing but the crushing weight of the present and her fear of the unknown, as she opened her yoyo to retrieve the dragon miraculous and put it around her neck.

“Tikki, Longg, unify!”

As she surrounded herself with water and ran towards Firebender with only one goal in mind, she promised herself to never let the gifts the present gives her slide in favour of hypothetical futuristic tragedies. She was finally done running away and sacrificing her life to her fears.

───※ ·❆· ※───

28th of May, 127 days after the reveal

Light suddenly flooded Adrien’s vision as he took a sharp and deep intake of breath. His lungs were burning with the sudden air filling them up, and he squinted his eyes, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He groggily lifted himself up on his elbows when—

“Chaton!”

—a red blur threw herself at him. He caught her, her hair in his nose and her warm breath and hot tears in his neck.

He let her sob and squeeze him as understanding washed over him. He gently threaded his clawed fingers through her hair and massaged her scalp, noticing absent-mindedly that she was also wearing the dragon miraculous.

She slowly detangled herself from him but stayed close, looking into his eyes through her wet ones and caressing his cheek with her thumb.

“Kitty,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, “my Kitty.”

He didn’t have the time to react before her lips were on his and she took her time to savour him before ever so slowly pulling away. He let her do.

She didn’t stop there. Gently cradling his face in her trembling hands, she kissed his cheek. And his other cheek. And his forehead. His nose. His jaw. Puncturing each of her kisses with whispers of “mon Chaton”, or “Kitty”, or “my love”, to which his heart made a somersault at, before diving for his neck.

Each time he kept on letting her do, keeping her close to him as she sobbed through her kisses and yet another nickname for him.

He could feel her breathing him in; so, with his nose in her hair, he inhaled her scent too. Her hot breath left his neck once again, and she came back for his lips.

This time, he kissed her back, and as soon as his lips moved against hers, she choked on a sobbed whine and pushed her mouth closer to his, if that was even possible

He hadn’t forgotten the taste of her lips on his, even after all these months; but he also knew their kisses had never burnt so intensely, driven by despair, the need to memorise the present and the aroma of being alive.

───※ ·❆· ※───

1st of June, 131 days after the reveal

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

Marinette smiled sadly. “Oh, I don’t know. Hurting you. Putting us through this mess. Not telling you about Chat Blanc. Take your pick.”

She let her arms rest on the railing of the bridge, looking across the Seine. The clouds were getting darker and darker, though a sunray pierced through one of them, lighting up a few buildings on the shore in a powerful atmosphere. Her eyes followed a barge floating further and further away, waiting for the moment it would cross the ray of light.

“You’ve been hurting too,” Adrien said after a few seconds. “You’ve been shouldering it all on your own. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

His hand slid into hers and she welcomed it, intertwining her fingers timidly with his. She glanced at him with a tentative smile and he smiled back, looking at her with soft eyes. She looked back towards the Seine just in time to see the barge slicing through the sunbeam.

“Still. Maybe, if I had told you… if I hadn’t let my fears get the best of me…” She trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

“And maybe,” Adrien spoke when it was clear she wouldn’t add something more, squeezing her hand once, “if you had told me earlier, I would have given up Chat Noir.”

She gasped and turned to him, but he was looking at the Seine with saddened eyes.

“What do you mean?” she breathed.

“I’m not sure I’d have been able to handle hearing that I could destroy the world as an akuma,” he whispered, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb as if to reassure her. “It’s… really hard already, but I feel like it would’ve been worse before.”

He turned his head towards her again and she held his gaze, gripping his hand harder as if to dare him to leave.

“You said it yourself,” he went on, “just like we have no idea about what the future can really hold, we can’t know how things would have played out if we had done things differently. What really matters right now is what you want us to be from now on.”

She searched his expectant eyes for a few seconds before looking back at the Seine. A tourist boat coming towards them had replaced the barge in the sunspot before the window of clouds closed on the light, leaving only a dark atmosphere in its place. The clouds grew darker and a warm gust had picked up, making their hair fly in every direction and their clothes ruffling in a frenzy. Marinette felt her emotions growing with the wind, begging to be said and to explode.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and feeling the wind coursing through her as she gathered her thoughts, and opened them again.

“I love you, Adrien,” she spoke, her declaration followed by a distant rumble in the sky. “I love you so, so much. Discovering that you were Chat Noir, once I took it all in… it was the best thing in the world, but also the worst.”

She faced away from the Seine to face him instead and take both his hands in hers, gripping them as tight as she could to ground herself as she felt a flow of tears coming in.

“It made me fall in love with you so much more it hurt, but I knew I couldn’t be with you or I knew I shouldn’t because…” She paused, taking ragged breaths. “...Because it wouldn’t be responsible. Because we’re superheroes and because I had this warning with Chat Blanc, and as the guardian it’s my role to keep us grounded and to do the right thing.”

A lighting bolt pierced through the sky, accompanied by a loud thunderstrike a few seconds later. Adrien was looking at her with a pain in his eyes that she knew meant he was hurting for her and not him.

“But I don’t want to do the right thing this time,” she murmured, as she felt a first drop of water slide down her cheek. “I’m tired of doing what’s supposedly right. Not when...not when we’re both hurting so much that it feels like it’s more dangerous to stay this way instead of just… giving in.”

At this point, she didn’t know who out of her and Adrien were gripping the other’s hands the tightest. She felt more and more raindrops falling on her face and clothes. She didn’t know if the water in his eyes were because he was tearing up or not.

“So maybe our love destroyed the world, once,” she continued, “but I think there’s enough far more damaging hate in this world; and ever since these akuma attacks started, what saved it is our love — for Paris, for our family and friends… and for each other.”

Adrien’s eyes now held a glint of adoration. His now damped hair was sticking to his face while some strands curled with the water. She supposed hers wasn’t faring much better.

“So to answer your question,” she swallowed a sob, “I want us to be together… if you’ll have me.”

Lightning ripped through the sky accompanied by deafening thunder as Adrien pulled her into a crushing hug. She put her arms around his neck to pull him even closer to her and let the flow of her tears finally mix with the rain on her cheeks.

“Marinette,” he whispered, voice wavering and lips barely touching her ear, “I love you, of course I’ll have you. I’ll always have you.”

The rain fell even harder as they hugged closer and cried, soaking them, yet they couldn’t care less. Their clothes were sticking to their bodies, growing more and more uncomfortable, which was worsened by them being in each other’s arms, but Marinette hadn’t felt so good in a long time.

She suddenly pulled away from the hug and cradled his head between her hands. He took her face in his and they stayed closed, forehead against forehead, breathing each other in. Another rumbled resounded and Marinette’s last resolve snapped with it—she brought her lips to his and kissed him.

He responded in kind, and she drank him in and pressed her mouth closer as she felt him doing the same. She should care about the rain falling and the thunder rumbling, but the battering of the elements were just making her feel freer, finally allowing her to get away from all her self restraints.

She sighed against Adrien’s lips as they kept coming back for more. They kissed their reunion, the relief of finding each other again, at last—unlike when he had come back from the dead earlier, these kisses tasted of the promise of more to come, because they knew they would stay together this time.

───※ ·❆· ※───

21st of January, 1h45 after the reveal

“Okay. What’s going on between you two? You’ve been acting awkward since we’ve got here.”

What was going on. What was going on.

“We’re fine,” the lie rolled out of her tongue easily. “Really.”

Alya raised a brow. “Adrien?”

She saw him smiling from the corner of her eyes. He was a much better actor than her—always had been.

“It’s nothing. It’s… we just… we’re working on it.”

...And much more honest than she was, be it with his feelings or with his heart. Always had been.

“Well,” Nino said, “I hope it’s not too big of a deal and that you’ll get over it soon. You guys are the cutest out there.”

Marinette smiled painfully. She glanced at Adrien who was looking at her with soft eyes that she didn’t deserve considering her reaction, and she felt his warm hand timidly covering hers.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I have hopes we will. We always do.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

21st of January, one year after the reveal

“You’re heavy,” Adrien gasped.

“That’s a rude thing to say to a lady,” Marinette commented from atop him, head resting on the arms she had folded on his chest. “And even more so to your girlfriend.”

He groaned and attempted to lift himself up. Fail. She was grinning at him and he pouted in fake-annoyance. “Not when said girlfriend is purposefully putting all her weight on you! I can’t breath!”

Marinette giggled and pressed herself further on him to which he let out a choked whimper, before pushing away from him after a few seconds, ending his suffocation.

“I could report you for attempting murder, you know,” he threatened with a finger. “‘Ladybug slips into teenage model Adrien Agreste’s room and proceeds to suffocate him’, now that would make the newspapers talk for months.”

She laughed and came back to hover over him. “‘And Adrien asked her to do it again’,” she smirked, and she bent down to peck his lips.

He couldn’t even argue with that.

He discreetly brought his hand close to where his head was lying to grab a pillow. When she pushed herself up and sat next to him, he quickly hit her head with it.

She gasped, betrayed and that sent him into a fit of laughter. She glared at him playfully, grabbed his other pillow, and swatted him way harder than he had.

“You’re dead, Kitty! You hear me?” she said, trying and failing not to laugh. “You’ve just signed your death contract!”

“No, my Lady, please I’m just a defenseless citizen!”

“I’ll knock you out with my yo-yo!” she threatened.

They fought again for a few minutes before stopping, Adrien breathless but Marinette only slightly out of breath due to being transformed.

“I hope your father won’t come in,” Marinette said.

“Don’t worry, if he or Nathalie come, you’ll just say you’re investigating here because, uh...because you suspect me of being Hawkmoth!”

She laughed. “Kitty, that’s such a stupid idea.”

“Why not?” Adrien wiggled his eyebrows. “After all, I do disappear during every akuma attack.”

Marinette smiled and crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as he steadied her with his hands on her hips. They lost themselves into each other’s eyes, faces close but not close enough to exactly touch.

“Then,” she murmured against his lips, and he felt his cheeks heating up. “I’ve come to seduce my enemy. Is it working?”

“I’d rather be your partner if that’s okay,” he whispered.

“Yes, but is it working Adrien?”

He chuckled—she didn’t even need to try, he’d always been too far gone when it came to her. “A bit too much.”

He kissed the proud and satisfied giggle from her lips.

[insufferablelust]

Hi!! I have a fic request if you’re still taking them. Reader has always been really flirtatious with spencer but he’s never taken it seriously because she’s younger than him. Reader calls spencer daddy or sir kind of jokingly but spencer get’s really turned on. This would be post-prison so he won’t hold back. He’s all like you don’t know who you’re playing with😡 you act so tough but can’t even take it !! And she is obviously exited and her bratty ass eggs him on.

Holy shit, this fic is 3,7k words long and i’m so proud of it like fuck, i’m so tempted on making a series based on this cause i got the plot line figured out, tell me if you would like a sequel or continuation of this because honestly i have some ideas gshsj! anyway its filthy.

Warnings : Dom!Spencer x Sub!Reader, post prison spencer, filthy smut, rough sex, daddy kink, rough spencer, pain kink, masochism, spit play, pet names (bunny, little girl, princess etc), big age gap (but reader is NOT UNDER AGE/A MINOR), degradation by name calling, slight exhibitionism, just filthy rough smut with fluffy after care! please read at your own risk.

MASTERLIST.

——————

If there’s one word that could describe your relationship with Spencer Reid, that would be playful. Playful as in you’ll try to be flirtatious just to watch the deep pink warmth spreading over the doctor’s cheeks. You always considered yourself to be playful maybe it was fitting for your age seeing that you both have a pretty noticeable age gap but, anyone who knows you would know that too.

It started as a small competition between the two of you, finding each other’s quirks and similarities just for the sake of teasing and taunting each other— enjoying your effects on one another. But for you, it was so much more, despite being playful you’re also prone to falling in love quickly, even more so when it’s someone like Spencer Reid; how could you not? from the way his lip twitched whenever he’s thinking, or the way his demeanor changes whenever he interrogated an unsub, or just how he simply himself. You are falling for Spencer Reid, and you’re falling hard.

Imagine your surprise after a couple of drinks at the bar with your teammates, that you let it slip, of course it was mainly the buzz talking, but you know what they said about a drunk man who tells the tell tale truth. The moment you let the seemingly innocent word past your lip, your drunken haze could see how his jaw twitched, feel how his breathing changed, and most definitely, feeling the tension grew thicker and thicker— excitement and nervousness seeped into your skin that has you writhing inside.

“I’m sure you knew that much, given your age, daddy.”

You swear you didn’t do it on purpose, it was just one of those slip ups that for you, coincidentally saying daddy in front of someone you— not only admire but have a major crush on, and for sure would call daddy, if you were together. But you weren’t, you both were only teammates, and flirtatious friends that somehow ended up in this awkward yet exciting situation because your mouth couldn’t let your fuzzy brain to think it through.

“Oh, god. I’m really really sorry i was just— i was truly just indicating that.. that you know! um i think i’ve had too much drinks tonight— maybe i should find em-“ before you could finish your messy apology and an excuse to find Emily, you felt the tender burning sensation across your throat.

It was his palm, pressed ever so delicately yet alarmingly on your throat, his thumb grazing along your pulse as if its telling you to stop talking or he will press against your windpipe. Your surroundings became blurry as you focused on the only thing that matters; him. His breath so close to you, his warmth electrocuted your veins, and his touch— god his touch on your throat burns and melts you.

“Shut up for once, little girl. Have you got any idea how much trouble this pretty lips of yours would get you?”

His voice was venomous as it rang up your ears, spreading over your core like you were an open flame to sacrifice. You tried to speak, tried to reply with a snarky reply or something to save your dignity, but the only thing your mouth could let out was a, “sorry..” that caused him to chuckle with amusement, gripping your jaw tightly,

“I think you’re missing something there,” He whispered lowly, eyes sharp on yours. You shuddered at the gesture, feeling your knees buckled as you answered; voice barely a whisper, “Sorry, daddy.”

“What was that, bunny? didn’t quite catch that.” He pressed his thumb tighter on your skin that were sure would leave some nice deep purplish marks. So you replied louder, though your voice were shaky and pathetic, “Sorry, daddy!” earning yourself a soft graze across your lips and a hum from Spencer.

“I would say that you’re a good girl but you aren’t, aren’t you?” He tilted your chin then, making sure your eyes locked with his as he scoffed, “No, you’ve been so bratty. Teasing me, all this time huh? thinking you could just push every button? slutty minx like you get nothing.”

You let out an obscenely loud mewl, and stomp your feet, causing him to growl possessively against your neck, biting the soft skin lightly, “Quiet, you want the team to know how insatiable you are?” He grunts, the back of his palm went to slap your cheek softly causing you to gasp, “No, daddy.”

“Good. Now, go tell Emily that you’re coming home with me.” He patted your reddened cheeks before tilting his head.

———

the drive back to your place had been quiet, you were too nervous and buzzed to say anything, and he was enjoying it— the way you squirmed in anticipation and the way you keep stealing glances at him.

You jumped suddenly when you feel the electrifying warmth on your thigh, noticing that it was in fact Spencer’s palm gripping the soft supple skin, tender whimpers escaped your lips as you feel his fingers crept up your thighs slowly up and down.

“Choose a word,” He said simply, eyes stilled on the road ahead as his palm knead the inside of your thigh, leaving crescent marks at it’s wake. “What? i-Oh! don’t understand..” You whined as you feel his fingers grazing against your panties.

“For your safe-word pet, choose a word, or i swear to god i will do more than just making your ass purple, i’ll make sure you can’t walk.”

———

The word you chose was lilac, having no idea your favorite shade of purple could mean so much to you now.

After the tense 20 minute drive, you both arrived at your place, you were almost fully sober then left for the lingering buzz behind your neck that might just be from the fact that you were turned on. The way your fingers trembled as you tried to open your front door sets the idea of just how nervous you are, especially with Spencer’s looming figure behind you, watching your every move— imprinting them inside his mind with his touch ghosting above your skin as if he’s dancing on top of them.

When you finally get the door open, you let out a deep breath and let him in muttering a small, “welcome to my palace!” jokingly. Yet, when you looked behind you, you could see just how mad he was but most importantly— just how much he wanted to hurt you in the most pleasurable way, pleasure through pain. His curls were all over the place, his lip half bitten, and his eyes, god his eyes could tell you just about everything that was racing on his mind.

You noticed it of course, before all of this, right when he got out of prison, you’ve noticed it clearly. Something inside him shifted, something more primal rather than the fact that he becomes way more bold yet private at the same time. Maybe it was because you were the only one who paid that much attention, but you could just see how much he wanted to take control in every situation he was in.

Spencer before prison was a very complicated man yet he was also someone who wouldn’t mind not being in control, he wasn’t your typical alpha male if you could put it that way— and that’s one of the things you love about him, its the fact that he’s not scared to be himself and show his vulnerability at times. But Spencer Reid after prison, is someone you hadn’t expected to meet, the moment he hugged you first; the moment he snapped at everyone for not taking him seriously about a case; the moment he took down an entire mission by himself; the moment he does everything screamed one thing to you, and that is yearning for control.

You couldn’t say you could possibly understand the horror that the prison imprinted on him, but you could understand just how much it affected his need over power— over owning something, over the situation, over someone. And if he needs to own you tonight, then you would willingly give your soul and body to him.

Y/N took a deep breath as his tucked hands reached to grasp her soft neck, already covered in small red marks from earlier ministrations. He hummed at the sight, somewhat pleased, but somewhat disappointed. Disappointed that it’s not deep enough to noticed from the end of the room. Then, his eyes met yours— sending shocking waves of heat inside your body that surely had you clenching your thighs tightly.

“You’ve been so...careless, so out of your place, pet.” He muttered, tracing his thumb just above your pulse up to your jaw and up your blushing cheeks, “I’ve tried so hard to.. hold back, hold back every time you acted like a brat, every time you teased me, you must thought you were so cute huh?” His grip got tighter then, shoving you backwards towards your bed, before releasing your jaw almost in an attempt to not push himself further— he hesitated.

“You surely know better don’t you, bunny? know better than to just carelessly... make a prey out of yourself.” His thumb graze over your bottom lip, tracing side to side slowly as he chuckles, “But i see now that my cute fierce little coworker, is not as innocent as she seemed.” He mused, lips twitched in endearment as he watched you suckle on the tip of his thumb.

“You got everyone fooled by your charming witty self, believing just how bright and good you are. But not me, i’ve seen through your acts pet, i’ve seen just how much you wanted me to just...take control of you, to own you, to.. hurt you just how you like it, isn’t that right bunny?”

You whined through your lips, sucking harder on his thumb with your hands gripping wrist. You were so dazed out, fuzzy with need, and turned on beyond belief that you fluttered your eyes shut, afraid that if you looked at his eyes one more time, you would lit on fire. But like he said, he always sees right through you, he pulled your hair back with his unoccupied hands causing you to gasp- mouth agape and eyes trained to his.

Spencer could swear that he felt his palm twitched at the sight of your face, the desperation dripping from you metaphorically and literally, the hand that was on your jaw moved to your cheeks, caressing the soft skin before suddenly you felt it. Felt the burning sensation of his palm on your cheeks, the pain arouses you to no end, and the aftershock made you moan, out loud.

“Please...” were the only thing that you could let out as you craved for more, you craved him just as much as he craved you, you could care less about the marks— you loved it even and you know now that he loves it too.

Spencer inhaled sharply at her plea before dangerously pressing their foreheads together and warned, “If i start, best believe i’m not going to go easy on you, not a chance. I’m a changed man Y/N, i won’t be gentle, and i definitely will hurt you, you have your safe word but if you don’t want this, or you expected me to go soft, say the word and i’ll leave and we can pretend that this doesn’t happen—“

“I want this..” Your broken voice rang through his ears like music, it was so heavenly that he closed his eyes for awhile as if to made sure that this isn’t a dream, that the woman he love yet been desperately trying to be away from because he was scared to hurt her, is here asking him to.. own her.

“Say it again.” He growled, hands coming back down to her neck as he pushed her down onto the bed, “Please.. daddy, own me, hurt me, fuck me, i don’t care! just do something!”

“Put your hands up, don’t move if you move them even an inch, i won’t let you cum tonight.” He grunted against the skin of your neck, teeth sinking onto them— marking you up in various different spots. He then trail down his kissed to the juncture of your collarbones, fingers trailing down to take off your dress.

You squirmed at the sight of him practically drooling over the image that is your wonderful body, his hand caressed the taunt covered nipples before tugging your bra off and immediately sucking onto one of the sensitive buds, and pinch and twirl the other one.

The mewls and whimpers that left your mouth was lewd and loud, getting louder with each lick and suck he delivered, sending thousands of electric shock-like waves through your veins, you let out a trail of uh’s as Spencer tug your panties down and stared up at you.

“Pretty baby just wants to get fucked, ‘s a shame that you’ve been a bad girl, would’ve wanted to eat you out for hours but i have to punish you now instead.” He mumbled, with an exaggerated sigh, mocking you in his tone, leaving you desperate and soaked through the sheets at the thought of him eating you out. “But-“

“Shh, bratty whores aren’t allowed to talk. so shut up and bend over my lap.” He growled, ending his sentence with a slap to your delicate wet pussy— earning a loud yelp from you as you scrambled to your feet and bent over his lap on the edge of the bed.

“How many do you think you deserve, baby?” The names he called you warmed your heart, you’ve been under his spell long enough to know that this is a trick question, no- you can’t say the exact numbers, the only correct answer is, “As many as you think i deserve, daddy.” He smiled at your obedience, whispering a “good girl” as he caressed your ass. Daddy always knows better after all.

Then you felt it, the first slap felt like fire against your skin, you yelped out a loud mewl as he growled, “Count.” So you did, letting out the shaky numbers as his hand collided with the soft supple skin of your ass cheeks— bruising them on his wake. “T-Ten! god daddy!” You screamed, thigh clenching, cunt fluttering around nothing, and your hands gripped the sheets on for dear life.

“Oh don’t whine now, you asked me to hurt you remember? i’m just giving you what you want little girl.” He chuckled, each words that left his mouth made you even wetter. His palm came down again and again, marking each and every untainted skin of your bum, painting them with his handprints and his crescent nail indents. Your ass was definitely on fire, tears streaming down your face in pleasure and pain, you were dripping down your thighs as Spencer delivered the final slap.

“Twenty! please daddy! i’m sorry!” you cried out, feeling his palm caressing your skin as he coo’d at you, “What are you sorry for bunny... is it for being a slut? for teasing me all this time? for being a damn brat? for being reckless on that mission last week? hm which one is it?” He taunted, bringing more tears to your eyes, lips quivering as you answer him shakily, “All daddy! i’m sorry for being bad! please!”

“Apology can only get you so far, lay on the bed, and spread your leg. I’ll ruin you so next time you want to get under daddy’s skin, you’ll know what happens to slutty bratty whores like you.”

——

You were spread out, hands above your head, tied with his tie, and there he was between you, slowly rubbing your swollen clit trailing your wetness all over your folds. He had taken off his clothes, on his knees bare in front of you with his— beautiful cock, you have no idea one could be so pretty and perfect yet there he is.

His thumb move faster on your clit causing you to buck up against his touches, mouth agape as the lewd sounds kept on spilling from your mouth, he slapped your clit when you bucked your hips again, causing you to gasp in shock and pleasure, “Stop being a greedy, minx.” He muttered lowly, before continuing his ministrations, your moans only grew louder with soft uh’s and “daddy!’s”

Spencer couldn’t even hold himself back, feeling the urge to just take you then and there because you’re here, fucking perfect and spread out for him. Like a damn peach ripe for the taking, your moans was music to his ears, fueling his need— his ego satisfaction as he sped up, “Open your mouth.” he demanded, and you obeyed so happily and eagerly, awaiting for anything he was about to do.

You couldn’t believe yourself when you felt it at first, feeling the warmth of his saliva down your throat as one of his unoccupied hand gripped your waist tightly and pushed himself inside you— letting you feel every veins and the stretch of his cock— pulsing with need.

“Fuck! oh fuck daddy!” You screamed out loud, your breathing as labored as his, you could feel how deep his cock was seated inside you, nudging the soft spongy spot that has you seeing stars, that has you tightening your walls around his length, causing him to let out a deep guttural groan, “Fuck Y/N, so fucking perfect and tight.”

“Please harder daddy!” You begged him, eyes doe like with tears as you looked up to him and egging him on some more, “Please ruin me, Spencer.”

“You want harder? fine i’ll give you harder.” At that, he gripped your waist tightly before pounding inside you relentlessly, each thrust overpowering your whole being, making the room grew smaller as the both of you relinquished the feeling you have for each other.

“Yes! yes yes! o-oh!” Your moans were choked out this time, as his hand went from gripping your waist to gripping your neck tightly, pounding your cunt over and over again, with double the pace and intensity each time harder. “Feel so fucking good, bunny.” The praise that left his mouth only fuels you up, clenching your walls tightly as he let out string of curses and your name.

“Look at me,” He ordered, yet you whined instead, not having the ability to open your eyes. Spencer slowed his pace down as he gripped your jaw and slap your cheek one time causing you to gasp, “Look at me, Y/N. I want you to look at me as you cum, i want you to scream my name when you do, cause i own you. You hear me? you’re mine.” He growled, the words that left his lips sending electrifying feelings on your heart and of course your cunt, pulsing around his cock.

“Yes yes yes! i’m yours Spencer all yours!” You were in commando as you spew out everything you’ve been holding onto for the past few months, “please show me i’m yours.”

Spencer sees red flashes across his eyes, his primal need to mark you and to make you his overshadowed everything, so he picked up the pace again and thrust in and out of your pussy with brutal pace, “Good slut, that’s it my good little girl you are— fuck!” He grunted as he feel you tightening around him, knowing damn well you were about to cum.

“Don’t you dare cum without my permission.” He warned dangerously as you looked up at him tearily, his hands tightening their grip on your waist and neck as he went faster, “D-Daddy! May i- oh uh! cum please!” He chuckled darkly as he faux a pout, leaning closer so your noses brush, “No. Bratty girls waits for their daddy to cum first.” He rasped suddenly, as he drilled his cock inside you and his thumb was on your clit.

This is torture, and you loved every bit of it.

“N-No! can’t hold it! daddy please!” Your were squirming, arms tugging against the tie, as he moaned out loud, feeling himself getting closer and closer to his climax, “Please daddy! Inside me!” You moaned loudly, holding onto your own orgasm as tightly as possible.

“Fucking- fuck! Y/N fuck, cum now.” His commands were deep guttural and shaky as he reach his high, still thrusting inside you with his thumb on your clit. You followed shortly after, feeling the wall burst and you came with a silent scream and toe curling hardest orgasm you’ve ever felt.

Spencer’s controlled his breathing rather quickly, whilst you still squirming and panted under him. He quickly untied your arms kissing your bruised wrist softly before letting it fall beside you. “Shh so good, such a good girl.” He keeps on whispering as you’ were coming down from your high, fingers clutching to his arm.

“D-Don’t leave..” You mumbled weakly, feeling the fuzziness inside your head as he pulled out, and watched the mixture of you and him slip past your wall. “No princess, i’m going to go grab a wet cloth so i can wipe both of us and then we can get some rest okay..?” You mumbled a silent okay, before he leaned down to softly kiss your lips and then goes to grab the cloth.

When he comes back, the first thing he did was cleaning you up, your skin tingles at the gentle touch of the cloth and him— mainly him, you hummed happily as he sat the bucket of water down after he cleaned himself and then grabbing a water bottle.

“Come love tilt your head— there you go pretty girl.” He cooed, as you took sip a few sip before laying back down. He goes to take some sips too, then proceed to laid next to you, and pressing your body close to him, fingers playing with your hair.

“Spencer..” You mumbled tiredly, using the rest of your energy to look up at him and smile, which he returned and mumbled a small, “hm?” whilst playing with your hair gently.

“I have a crush on you..” You weren’t sure whether you were orgasm drunk or whatever but it just feels right to say it— so you said it.

“I know, and i..” He chuckled in shyness, something you used to see on pre prison Reid, your heart flutters when you saw him smile and became nervous.

“I feel the same way.” He continued, making sure he holds you tight and kissed your forehead gently, “We’ll talk about it over coffee and croissants tomorrow okay? for now lets just sleep first.” He smiled gently, pulling the covers on top of the both of you.

“Good night, spencer.”

“Night, Princess.”

—————

Although, cute the ending still kinda suck lmao. Anyways, again if you want a continuation of this fic, or me possibly making it into a series, please let me know!

[mxpseudonym]

Pairing: Tommy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Polly Shelby wants you, a shy, single, slightly anxious churchgoer, to meet her nephew, the dangerous gangster Tommy Shelby. He’s more than gentlemanly at first glance, which only adds to his attractive charm. After weeks of being on edge and going no farther than heavy petting, you finally decide to push for having Tommy devour you. However, entering the bedroom with Tommy Shelby means you’ll have to follow his saucy rules. Agreeing requires a verbal, enthusiastic, “Yes, Sir” and leaving your shame at the door.

Length: 2738 words (allegedly)

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, lite Dom/sub, Consensual as all hell

A/N: Sorry I’m late, but honestly that’s very me so. Anyway, hope you’re ready because I am y/n, you are y/n, we are all y/n this time round. 😏

"Need some help?"

You looked up from where you were kneeling on the floor to see none other than Polly Shelby. You'd pulled your rosary too tight again, and the thread snapped from the tension. Now, before you could stop her, Polly was kneeling and helping you pick them up. 

Polly was always kind to you. When needed, she shared her hymn book and complimented your church hats that matched your dresses particularly well. Even though you never had much to say, she was always casually chatting with you. 

"You're not seeing anyone, are you?" Polly asked, catching you off guard. Was this why she was so lovely? Two women in an empty church, and one of them confesses to the other. What would God say?

"I'm not."

"You should meet my nephew, Thomas. I think you'd make quite the pair." 

You smiled at the invitation. It wasn't out of flattery, per se, but more because you knew it must have been difficult for Polly to be an aunt taking on her duty as a familial matchmaker when her nephews ran the most dangerous gang in Small Health. Polly didn't seem like the type to let anything happen to you if things didn't work out on a simple date, and you felt indebted to her for being such a good friend to you. So you nodded. 

"Well, if he asked me to dinner, I'm sure I wouldn't say no." 

You didn't think much of it, quite frankly. In the year that you'd been in Small Heath, you'd turned down enough dinner invitations to be thought of as a godly woman and a prude. Not that you minded. You were single and childless in the newly bustling city of Birmingham, and living alone for the first time in your life was a luxury you didn't want to give up. You had your mother's pistol tucked in your bag and a vague idea of how to shoot it, so you were safe enough, but the added rumor that you were unapproachable was helpful.

If anything, what surprised you most was Thomas Shelby actually showing up to church that Sunday. Even leaning against the stone wall outside with a cigarette in hand was enough to cause a stir as the congregation poured out of the church. 

He was a handsome man, and his cool, certain eyes seemed to see right through you. Even with your heart thumping in your chest, gravitating towards him was only natural. He was waiting for you, after all. 

"Y/n L/n?" He asked, his voice deep and telling of his : upbringing. It fit him well, you thought as you looked at him from under your sun hat. 

"Mr. Shelby," you said with a nod. 

"My aunt seemingly won't rest until I ask you to dinner," he said, dipping a hand into his pocket to reach for more cigarettes. 

"Oh? Is this you doing it?" 

Tommy's head tilted at you as he took in your smile and looked you over. You were already a bit bold for someone who was meeting a hoodlum. A smirk crept onto his face. He wasn't complaining. 

"Ms. l/n, would you have dinner with me?" He asked. You paused, causing him to sigh and pull out his cigarettes. "My aunt promised I wouldn't get rejected by a beautiful woman if I got the courage to ask. Now I'm embarrassed."

"I'm sure you're not," you said, laughing to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. "But I will go to dinner with you, Mr. Shelby. I did promise Miss Shelby." Tommy looked you over again before nodding.

"I look forward to it."

                                              .:.

When Tuesday evening rolled around, Tommy was at your doorstep in a fine suit. If you had any doubt about your long, beaded dress being nice enough, Tommy pushed the thoughts away in an instant.

"You look stunning, Miss l/n," he praised you while holding out his arm. 

"Thank you, Tommy. You look very handsome tonight as well."

There was an air of authority about him, yet his gaze was soft when he met your eyes and smiled. The car ride was comfortable enough and did nothing to prepare you for the exquisite venue. The ceilings were high, and the decor was elegant. 

"It's my job to find a venue a quarter as lovely as the woman accompanying me, isn't it," Tommy said when you mentioned that it was possibly too fancy for you. 

"Oh please," you murmured, waving away the compliment. 

At some point throughout the night, you wondered if you'd been on a better date. Tommy took care of everything, from directing the butlers in their penguin suits to ordering things he seemed to know you'd like. ON your own, you'd have spent half an hour choosing a meal, and god only knew how long getting a server's attention. But tonight, you were left to focus on his witty storytelling that left you laughing behind your napkin. Tommy raised a hand and grasped yours. It was a small amount of contact but, perhaps the wine or the man himself made you want more of his warmth. All too soon, he gently pulled your hand down and into your lap.  

"Don't hide. I want to hear more from you," Tommy said. Your cheeks flashed hot as your mind took a naughty detour for a moment. 

"Okay, Tommy." 

It was after dinner that truly hooked you to the man. He wrapped you in his jacket before helping you into his car and driving you home. His hand rested on your knee on the way back. Yet, when he stood in front of your door, you were greeted with a hug. You didn't realize it until you leaned into his embrace that you were a bit anxious about a goodnight kiss or even Tommy pushing his way into your apartment. Gangster or not, he was a strong man with a domineering personality. He could have anything he wanted. You hadn't guessed that meant a simple hug and a request for a second date. Still, it left you smiling as you watched his car drive away from the entrance of your apartment. 

                                              .:.

"Ah, this is favorite."

"Really?"

"Winston Churchill himself recommended it."

You turned to Tommy with a skeptical eye. 

"Liar."

"How could I find the strength to lie to you, y/n?"

You rolled your eyes but turned back to the new gramophone in front of you. You had several dates with Tommy, and his gentlemanly behavior only continued. He never tried anything scandalous or forward, even as he managed to charm you to high heaven. There were times you wondered if, and perhaps even secretly hoped for, Tommy would move his hand up your thigh or kiss your neck. But it seemed that every date was an opportunity for him to learn more about you. He was more perceptive than you knew. He understood what you wanted and even made you feel like he could read your mind sometimes. 

You'd had partners before, even an adulterous ex-fiance, but with them, it felt like they were trying to learn your secrets to use against you. With Tommy, it seemed like he used that information to make you happy. Your eyes lit up when he brought you your favorite kind of pastry and a new scarf in your favorite color. 

His latest gift was the record player, and you shamelessly used the gift of music as an excuse to finally invite Tommy inside after a month of dating when it was clear he wouldn't do it himself. 

"You're quite the gentleman, Mr. Shelby," you mused as you slow danced in your living room. Tommy's hand flattened over your spine and pulled you closer. 

"I'd say you're bringing out the best in me yet, Ms. y/l/n."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against yours. You moaned softly against his lips as your swaying left the rhythm of the song to match you and Tommy. There was a hunger in his kiss that made you wonder just how much he was holding back. He could have any woman he wanted, you thought, but he was patiently kissing you to your liking and no more. His hand moved to thumb the buttons on your dress, and you pulled away gently. A guiding hand on your lower back or a calloused hand helping you out of the Bentley made your heart flutter, yet you still hesitated to take things further. 

"Wait, Tommy."

"Hm?"

"Not yet," you said shyly, not able to look him in the eyes. Tommy smirked at you. Little did you know, this confirmed several things he knew about you.

"Good girl."

Your eyes shot up to his in shock. What was this? His choice of words, his praise, the feeling of your insides warming all filled you with a sense of wonder. There was something in his eyes that looked satisfied and almost like an invitation. Would you accept? Accept what exactly? 

Not knowing the question or your answer, you kissed him again. 

                                              .:.

Good girl. 

Those two words were planted in your mind like seeds meant to sprout a specific restlessness. 

You thought about it passively for a while. At first, you wondered if you should be upset. Was Tommy treating you like a child? But nothing he did ever made it feel that way. If anything, Tommy was the one person who treated you most like a woman. After a few weeks, you began to think of it too often. On your lunches with Tommy or when he took you to the horse races, you wondered if he'd repeat it. You were eager to hear him say it. 

When you thought about it alone in the bath, you realized you couldn't hold it together much longer. Your eyes fluttered closed as you remembered that night. But memories turned to fantasy, and you could feel his breath against your ear. 

"Good girl. You're a good girl, y/n."

Your hands moved before you could think much about it. It had been a while since you'd done this, sliding a delicate finger between your legs. 

"Good girl," you whispered, your voice echoing off the walls and sending the praise back to you. You swirled your clit and repeated it again. Thinking of all the ways Tommy had touched you, even innocently, remembering the feeling and that casual smirk he wore. "Tommy, fuck, yes, I'm a good girl- ah!"

Your thighs squeezed your hand as your hips jerked with a strong release. Your eyes opened, and you stared at the ceiling.

"This is getting ridiculous."

                                              .:.

Tommy was just a little too good at listening to you, you decided. Anything you told him not to do was met with praise, and he'd never do it again. You'd expected, based on past experiences with men, that Tommy would try to push you until you were just where he wanted you. Instead, you were the one spacing out during dinner while admiring how good he looked in his suit. Would you prefer it on or off if he were devouring you? 

Tommy asked if you felt alright, which made you ashamed to even think the way you were. When did you get so lewd? It was in your apartment that Tommy let you know he knew exactly what you were thinking. You sat next to him on your couch, handing him a nightcap of brandy. 

"Y/n, you know that I care about you, don't you?"

"Yes, of course." You nodded quickly. Was this actually the end of things? You hoped not.

"I care about you more than I thought I could. And one of those reasons is because you know what you want," said Tommy as he sat his glass down. 

Your brows furrowed at the words. You thought you were indecisive and unable to speak up. If only Tommy knew how you'd been suffering. He continued after reading the confusion on your face. 

"Whenever we come back here, you know how far you want to go, and you know when to make a man like me stop."

"Oh,"

"I won't push you, love. I'm as patient as ever, so if you want more or less, that's up to you. It's whatever you'd like."

Tommy leaned over and placed a hand on your knee reassuringly, though it only helped your heart beat harder. You shifted in your seat, uneasy with the amount of power you realized you had.

"I see." 

"If we do go further, I'd like to implement a few rules. How does that sound?" 

"Rules?" You tilted your head. You liked rules and systems. Even as a coat check girl, you were known for your orderly approach to things. 

"Yes, if you decide that's something you want to explore, we'll talk then. But no need to worry about it until you're ready."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about doing more," you said bashfully, though it was a lie. You'd planned to simply move Tommy's hand under your skirt and have him put you out of your misery.

"Come here, y/n."

Tommy brought you to sit on his lap. His hand caressed your thigh, and the other was around your waist. Your arms wrapped around him as your reveled in the feeling of safety.

"Alright, Mr. Shelby, what are they?" 

"I'm going to tell you them, and you need to remember the order, alright?" He asked, and you nodded, only to have him tsk you. "Ah, love, when I ask you a question, I want to hear your voice. I want to make sure you're sure. That's rule number one: everything we do requires a verbal agreement. Try it now." 

"Oh, then, yes. I'll remember the order, Tommy." 

"Good girl," he praised, making you smile softly. "Rule number two is that you can't cum until I tell you, alright sweetheart?" 

"Tommy!" You jolted in surprise. You didn't know what you thought he was going to say, but that was not it. He chuckled at your reaction and squeezed your waist. He would have stopped if you asked, but for now, he was well aware that you were already starting to squirm in his lap. His sweetheart liked being a little flustered, didn't you? 

"Rule number three is that I am in charge of your body. I have full access to it, and you, love," Tommy reached up and tilted your chin so he could give you a saccharine kiss, "you may not touch yourself unless I say." 

The mix of salacious words and tender caresses sent waves of desire straight to the apex of your thighs. Could Tommy tell that you'd been doing just that? 

"Rule four is that you have to tell me when you don't like something. You do that so well already, and I'm proud of you for that."

"T-thank you," you murmured. You couldn't help but bite your lip. Such simple words of praise were sending you into a mild frenzy. 

"When you want me to stop, just say 'no more, I'm satisfied.' Can you do that?" He asked you, and you nodded. This time, however, you quickly remembered what Tommy told you before. 

"Yes. No more. I'm satisfied," you repeated the phrase while wondering when you'd use it.

"You can say that for anything at all. If you're uncomfortable, or even just a little too tired."

"Okay."

You nodded in agreement, though you couldn't help be feel nervous. After weeks of nothing more than a mild groping hand, Tommy was proving to be this person? But maybe it was the way that you couldn't stop yourself from squirming, trying to press your legs together for some type of friction that made you equally excited. Tommy kissed you again and held your chin. 

"Sweetheart, I promise that I'll use these to make you feel really good. I hope you can trust me, and I trust you to use that voice of yours and tell me when you don't like something, yes?"

"Yes." 

"Do you agree then? Do those rules sound good to you?" He asked you directly.

"Yes," you nodded, then softly adjusted. Something in you made you want to add, "Yes, Sir." 

Tommy squeezed your thigh, and you looked to his eyes to see a burning fierceness in them. He really enjoyed that. It was nice knowing he wasn't embarrassing you. You were in this together.

"Good girl."

[bureowo]

skinny love | stray kids headcanons

skinny love: term used to describe a romantic relationship between two people who are unable to communicate their feelings for each other.

genre: fluff, slight angst bc i can’t escape my roots.

word count: ~2.8k total.

warnings: none.

chan

› chan looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. he stares at you a lot, sometimes you catch him and you both pretend you don’t notice the way you start to blush or how his ears turn red.

› he always smiles when he sees you and asks you about your day because he genuinely wants to know. he loves to hear you talk about anything and everything, and could listen to your voice for hours on end. but as much as he enjoys the chitchat, nothing compares to the deep conversations the two of you share. you trust each other, so much, you tell each other things you wouldn’t even dream of saying aloud otherwise. and chan’s heart swells when he thinks about it, it means the world to him.

› chan can be very charming, and when he’s in a confident mood, he can be so flirty. the compliments are relentless and he smiles at you with a teasing gleam in his eyes. he holds your hands, and if he’s feeling reckless, he might even place his hand on the small of your back, or maybe even your thigh.

› he loves spending time with you. you’ll always remember the first time he invited you over to the studio. you arrived mid-afternoon, thinking you’d only be there for a couple of hours, only to find yourself well past dusk, still sitting besides him. you tried to be mad at him, really, but his bashful smile and the promise of a quick food run quickly tore your resolution to shreds. that night, after a nice, warm meal and a myriad of giggles and murmurs, the two of you fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s embrace, the armrest of the studio’s couch digging uncomfortably into your neck. but just as you’d been about to drift off, you could’ve sworn you heard the faintest whisper of “i love you.”

minho

› minho stares at you great deal as well, but the way he looks at you is much more pensive, his expression hard to read. (but, oh, if only you knew the thoughts that spin through his mind like a whirlwind). he doesn’t blush or make a big deal out of it when you catch him staring, instead he just keeps looking at you, straight into your eyes, as if he can see right through your soul.

› he’s not one to be lowkey, really. he tries to get your attention from across the room, deliberately smirking or even winking at you if you happen to land your sight upon him. minho relishes in making you laugh, it’s like music to his ears. whenever you hang out with the rest of the boys, he tries his hardest to elicit the melodious string of giggles out of your mouth, throwing witty comment after sarcastic joke your way, his gaze focused on you and a smug, complacent grin on his face.

› minho is so soft for you, he’d never admit it out loud but he doesn’t need to, everyone can tell. he’s always much more lenient with you, much gentler, than he is with anyone else. you’re at the forefront of his thoughts at all times and even the slightest shift in your demeanour or the smallest change in your expression makes alarms go off in his head.

› he’s so affectionate in such subtle ways sometimes. you’ll never forget the first time he made your heart flutter. it was such a simple action, truly, he was just trying to get an eyelash off your cheek, but the softness of his thumb as it brushed across your skin and the tender way in which he held your face made you shiver. his face was so close to yours, you could feel his breath fanning over your skin. his body so near to your own, you could feel his chest heaving with  each breath he took. he was so close, and there was nothing you’d wanted more in that moment than to kiss him, kiss him deep and hard, kiss him with everything you had. and he was so close that maybe you could have, and maybe you did.

changbin

› changbin radiates a glow so warm and blazing it could even put the sun to shame. he compliments you so much, a slightly lopsided grin permanently etched onto his face whenever he talks to you. and the way he looks at you sometimes, with half-lidded, dreamy eyes. he’s effortlessly charming, and you just can’t help the way he makes you feel, like your heart is going to burst into flames.

› he wouldn’t admit it even if somebody paid him to, but he dresses up extra good when he knows he’s going to see you. the amount of time he spends rummaging through his closet and checking himself out in front of the mirror almost makes him feel embarrassed, but he just truly wants to impress you. he wants to show off in front of you, and if that means having to flex his arms a little and then get flustered when the boys tease him over it, then so be it. because, really, it’s all worth it the second words of praise and flattery begin leaving your mouth.

› changbin wants to know everything about you: the good, the bad and the ugly. he’s always asking things about you, and he tells you a lot about himself in exchange, too. he wants you to know that you can trust him, and that he’ll always be there for you, no matter what. he is so generous and giving, he tries to help you with everything he can, from the small things, like handing you the utensils as he watches you cook, to the more grievous matters.

› he remembers the day he came into your apartment only to find you completely broken, falling apart on your couch. the memory still nicks at his heart, it makes him grimace every time he thinks back to the endless stream of tears flowing down your face. he held onto your shoulders, trying to get you to speak, to just talk to him, tell him what was wrong, though you could do nothing but sob. his mind went haywire, panic quickly filling his entire body, so he did the only think he could think of: he held you. he held you firmly and securely in between his arms, head tucked under his chin. he held you for hours on end, until your tears ceased and you both fell asleep. and then, he held you some more.

hyunjin

› oh, sweet little hyunjin, it’s so obvious he adores you. sometimes, when he’s looking at you, he gets so caught up in your beauty he forgets what he’s doing. and when you smile at him or laugh at one of his jokes? it’s like his brain short-circuits, he messes up his words, stammering and fumbling to get out any sort of wordage. as senseless as it may come out, he always manages to make it sound cute.

› he talks to you a lot, he brings up small details about himself and tells you about the things he likes in hopes that you’ll remember them, and also, as a subtle way to get you speaking about yourself without having to ask you directly. but hyunjin also tells you other things, things about himself he’s never told anyone. he trusts you wholeheartedly, so he lets his walls down and opens up to you.

› he loves spending time with you. he texts you as you’re about to fall asleep, asking if you want to go get food with him. he’ll randomly show up at your doorstep with facemasks and a tub of ice cream, claiming it’s ‘self-care day’. you’ve grown accustomed to having to cancel plans because a spur of the moment adventure with hyunjin sounds that much more enticing.

› hyunjin is very soft and affectionate with you, he holds your hand gently and likes to smooth his fingers over your hair. there’s nothing he enjoys more, however, than cuddling on the sofa with you on a foggy afternoon, with a blanket draped over the both of you and a movie playing quietly on the background. he sighs in contentment a lot, holding you close to him, and he looks at you so fondly. he gets so incredibly shy if anyone catches you, though. like that time chan walked into the living room to find you and hyunjin in the midst of a cuddling session, limbs tangled and blanket almost laying on the floor. chan cleared his throat awkwardly before scurrying off to his room, but by then, hyunjin’s face was already smooshed against your neck. he groaned, wrapping his arms around you a bit tighter as his cheeks turned rosy.

jisung

› jisung’s feelings for you are so inconspicuous, sometimes you’re even left wondering if he feels anything for you at all. if he even thinks of you the way you think of him, because your heart has a special place set aside and it has his name written all over it. but, oh, if only you knew what you mean to him; you are a beacon of light shining in the dark, luring him in like a moth to a flame.

› he gives you so much attention, really, he can’t keep his eyes off of you. he smiles whenever you enter the room, face brightening immediately, before greeting you with a soft ‘hi’. jisung always stands by you in crowds, eyes alert and hand attached to your shoulder, as if he’s afraid he’s going to lose you amongst the people. sometimes, you take his hand from your shoulder and hold it, intertwining your fingers with his, afraid you might lose him, too.

› jisung tries so hard to impress you. he wears the type of clothes he knows you like and he does his hair in the styles you’ve complimented him for. he tends to wear your favourite colour quite often, as well, in hopes it’ll catch your eye. jisung just wants you to tell him he looks good, honestly, because he can be rather hesitant at times, insecure even.

› it still makes your guts churn when you recall the tremble in his voice, the night he’d asked you: “am I good enough?”. your hands felt as gelid as the night draught as it brushed across your faces. you weren’t all too clear on what he’d been alluding to, in which way could he possibly deem himself not good enough, but you knew without a shadow of a doubt that jisung was the best person you’d ever come to know. white puffs left your mouth, dissipating into the air above you as you described him from your viewpoint, listing all of the attributes and virtues that compose the essence of what’s truly him, someone who is so good. and the way he looked at you afterwards left you feeling bare in a way you never had before.

felix

› you and felix’s feelings are so palpable and so glaringly reciprocated, everyone around you two is left scratching their heads, wondering how the both of you can be so oblivious. but then again, how could you really know for certain?

› felix is, by nature, quite an affectionate, touchy person. so how are you to deduce that the way he hugs you just a bit too tight, or how his hand rests warmly and comfortably over yours for just a tad too long, or the manner in which he oh-so-gently strokes your back when he can tell you’re nervous, mean anything other than that: touches? and how are you supposed to know that his skin tingles all over every time you as much as graze a finger over it?

› he invites you places, and introduces you to all his friends with an arm thrown over your shoulder, as if he’s trying to show you off. he takes you to restaurants and coffee shops, never the same one twice. “it’s so we can know new places” he always says. and he loves going out for walks through the park with you, he holds your hand whilst smiling toothily, and when you get tired you both sit on the grass and watch the sun go down.

› it’s preposterous, really, how daft you two can be. or maybe you’re both bluffing, pretending neither of you can see the signs. you pondered over this thought one afternoon, felix was animatedly telling you about his day, but you’d only been picking up a few stray words here and there. it’s not like you meant to not give him your full attention, you just couldn’t help but get lost in his features. by the time you realized he stopped talking, you’d been staring at his lips long enough for him to notice. if you’d been a little less enthralled, you would’ve anxiously waited for an awkward chuckle, or perhaps even a teasing remark, but instead he leaned a little closer to you, and your heart skipped a beat.

seungmin

› seungmin is subtle, like the rays of sunlight shining through the trees on a midspring afternoon: tepid and in view, but not in the fulgent way that leaves you blinded and stunned. he’s sweet and friendly, always talking to you with a big, fond smile on his face. he pays so much attention to you whenever you speak and he’s very responsive, sometimes you can’t help the blush from creeping up your cheeks.

› he tells you things about himself, and you love how excited he gets when you ask him questions about his interests, you can’t help but find the way he rambles on and on, looking at you with starry eyes, utterly adorable. he always tries to sneak in little comments or jokes to make you laugh too, and if he manages it, the broad and full smile adorning his face doesn’t clear out until he’s well and deep into sleep.

› he cares about you a lot. he checks up on you rather regularly, and you’re not quite sure when it started, but ‘hey, have you eaten yet?’ has become his way of greeting you. he just wants to make sure you’re taking proper care of yourself. he sends you texts often, letting you know how he’s doing and what he’s been up to, so you don’t worry too much if you guys haven’t been able to meet for a while. because even if he doesn’t see you, you live in his mind night and day.

› sometimes seungmin get shy, head tilting downwards bashfully. other times, though, he gets gutsy, dauntless. like that day that time stood still. he’d been talking to you merrily, holding your wrists in between his hands and swinging your arms around lightly. your head was buzzing, you felt lighter and lighter with every word seungmin spoke, and before too long, you felt as if the two of you were floating, suspended in mid-air. you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, afraid that if you did, it would all end and you’d both come crashing down. yet when he had finished speaking, his grasp on you lingered, and he gazed at you so longingly. and the two of you stayed like that, defying gravity for just a moment longer.

jeongin

› jeongin tries to be tenuous, he truly does. he likes to think that his feelings for you are as nebulous and impalpable as the clouds in the sky. though they are more like the rain, washing down upon you and impossible to ignore. he wonders why the boys tease him about you, but that’s only because he can’t see the way his eyes gleam any time he looks at you.

› he’s so friendly and sweet with you, nicer than he is with anyone else. he’s affectionate without even realizing it, he holds your hand to pull you along when he wants you to walk faster, he drapes his arm over your shoulder when he sits besides you, he clings to your arm for balance whenever you make him laugh. he’s so charming, you just can’t help but melt into his touch and become putty in his hands.

› he is so attached to you, honestly. at first, he’d just invite you places every now and again, yet slowly but surely it turned into him showing up at your place and announcing what the two of you would be doing for that particular day. it’s habitual now, for him to text you an address, soliciting your immediate arrival. the boys don’t even question it anymore, it’s fact, a stability, the sun rises every morning, and you’ll go wherever jeongin asks you to with a pep in your step and a smile on your face.

› jeongin delights in playing around with you and teasing you. there’s a moment in particular that you can’t help but replay over and over inside your head. he’d been teasing you unremittingly throughout the entire day, throwing sarcastic after witty comment your way about anything that popped into his mind and, truthfully, he was getting on your nerves. he wasn’t often like this, usually he’d stop after a pout and a bat of the eyelashes, but that day he seemed bolder, adamant. it only took a peculiar remark for you to completely lose it, although not how he expected. you jumped into position, fully ready and willing to fight him to the best of your capabilities. he took every punch and kick, pretending they actually hurt and letting out fake crying noises. not too long after, you both collapsed on the couch, laughing and slightly out of breath, you turned your face towards him only to find him already looking at you. you stared at each other and begun to feel breathless once more, although this time, it was for completely different reasons.

[seodami]

Dearest treasure | KTH

|PART 1| |PART 2| |PART 3|

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts together)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main masterlist

2021

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Hueningkai, happy birthday to youuuu...” the crowd gathered in the small kitchen around said birthday boy, singing more or less in unison, while some were eagerly hitting his back, hoping he would finally blew out the 18 candles on top of the colourful decorated cake. Yeonjun, one of his friends managed to sweep some of the delicious cake frosting onto his finger just to smear it right across the now 18 year old boy’s cheek.

Taehyun let out a loud laugh, holding their other friend Beomgyu back from joining in on the incoming chaotic frosting war. It was far too crowded in this hot tiny kitchen for having at least 20 people smearing each other’s faces and ruining their make up. It was like everyone was going wild, letting free their stress and problems of the day.

It wasn’t until Taehyun himself felt something wet and extremely cake scented against his own cheek - and due to his rapid motion - also on his lips. His eyes met yours for the first time that moment. And he swears, his heart must have felt extremely sporty this exact moment because it started racing like crazy when he saw that adorable cheeky grin sneaking on your face, eyes moving swiftly down to his lips, where the frosting had been put, before going back to his eyes again. There was a mischievous glint in your eyes, which immediately pulled him into a ban. It fascinated him too much to look away.

He didn’t know how long you were just silently teasing each other, but the next moment he wasn’t holding onto Beomgyu’s arm anymore. He sweeped up some frosting himself on his index finger, deeply digging into the cake, and before you could even realize what was going to happen, there was already a big fat purple trail of frosting from your cheek up to your nose. Taehyun playfully laughed at his creation, trying to get away from you as fast as possible as soon as he saw your determination in your face. Oh you were so not gonna lose to this boy.

You chased each other laughing around the kitchen, the connection strangely already built, even though none of you could explain how or why. It was just there, like a spark in the dark. You managed to find the perfect opportunity to sneak up behind him, looking searching into the crowd, and slap some more frosting right on his other cheek. Taehyun let out a surprised squeal, with one swift motion he had already turned around to look at your big lively eyes. The blonde boy could only laugh in disbelief, seeing you burst out into a fit of giggles. Taehyun didn’t see the intense stare from his now 18 year old friend in his back, nor did he see how your heart skipped a beat when you took a glance at him.

It wasn’t his intention to only talk to you this long evening. It wasn’t his intention to ruin Hueningkais mood because he kept his crush away from him. And it most definitely wasn’t his intention to fall for you and your witty charm so quickly. But let’s be honest, life wasn’t made to be perfect. It was made to be full of surprises and colourful like a big bag of candy. You never knew what you would get.

2022

Your first kiss happened on a random Thursday evening. When you decided to tag along a few of his friends to a camping trip, Taehyun knew that would be his downfall. When you two first met at Hueningkais birthday party almost a year ago, he didn’t knew about his younger friends huge crush on you. Quite honestly, he felt horrible for what happened at this day. And he felt even worse about the feelings he was secretly harvesting for you.

When his friend Soobin told him about the youngest misery, the first thing Taehyun did was rushing to Kais house and apologise for not knowing. He could see that day how his previous actions were burdening his friend, even though he tried to hide it, they were crushing his happy self down. And Taehyun swore to himself after this day, that he would never ever want any person to change just because of his behaviour. He wanted Hueningkai to always be this bright, cheerful, innocent boy he knew and everyone adored. And what was even more important to him: he swore to never let a girl go between any of their friendships. And if you were important to Kai, Taehyun wholeheartedly meant to step back and let his brother-like friend find his happiness. He really meant it.

But it had to come differently. Taehyun tried a whole year not to come into contact with you. He tried to not be present at the same events as you, he tried not to answer your friendly ‘hey’ messages at midnight and he tried to avoid your eyes whenever you walked past each other. But how could he be prepared for this camping trip- 24 hours a day with you in close proximity. It was a challenge set to fail at the very beginning. And he knew it.

It was visible for everyone that you saw Hyuka as just a friend. You didn’t have the sparkle in your eyes like you did when you looked at the blonde boy and you didn’t searched his eyes in a crowd of peoples. You always looked for Taehyuns eyes. Not for Hueningkais. But how could anyone resent him to not realize after having a crush on you for already over 5 years. Yet nobody dared to tell him. They didn’t want him to be hurt.

But this one evening was different. Taehyun could have run away. He could have. But he didn’t when you approached him sitting alone on a small cliff, the warm sea water flowing peacefully and steadily under their feet. His face was turned slightly upwards towards the disappearing sun. It was still warm and humid. You silently sat down next to him, only a few centimetres apart. It was too close for his liking. He could smell your scented hair and see the little redness on your cheeks from the shining sun just hours before. He could see your pink lips moisturised and glistening as your tongue glided against the flesh. You were way too close and it made him anxious.

He could have just left or stared blankly ahead of him but you made it so hard for him to not to fall into a comfortable and excited flow of talking. And before he knew, the both of you talked and laughed together, shoulder against shoulder, thighs brushing against each other here and there. Anyone could have seen the chemistry between the two of you. The sparks were almost flying a mile away.

Soon, Taehyuns nervous glances behind his back stopped as darkness rolled over you and the only thing he could see was you in front of him in the soft light of the moon. Your face was so close. Your lips were just there. Just for him. And not a split second before the thought had gotten into his mind, you closed the small gap between you two.

He didn’t knew what had gotten into him that exact moment. He knew it was so wrong, yet it was so right. It happened so quick- your lips against his- maybe he even imagined it but the tingling against his own lips afterwards pulled him back into reality. He goddamn kissed his brothers crush and now he had to live with the consequences. And he was so afraid.

2023

A year later, everything seemed going in every thinkable direction. Yet, it went all differently than he thought. A lot had happened after that first kiss of yours. It wasn’t very difficult for your friends to figure out the whole situation and set together all the puzzle pieces. Soon they all knew about you two. It didn’t made any sense to stay away from each other when you two obviously were head over heels for each other. You tried hiding your blooming relationship but was it really an option to begin with?

The moment Taehyun dreaded more than anything else, was Kai finding out. And of course he did. When he saw you two coincidentally at the ice cream parlour, trying each other’s flavours, your head laying on his shoulder, he knew. Deep down he knew it before and deep down he was understanding that he never could be in Taehyuns shoes. He always felt like he was lacking, comparing himself to his best friends. It was like a heavy punch inside his abdomen, maybe also in his face. And when Taehyun turned around, meeting Hueningkais teary, hurt eyes, he felt like crying himself. He felt so much worse than he thought he would. He felt so useless, like the worst person alive. He broke his best friend. And he suddenly wanted to turn back time to Kais 18th birthday party and wished he never smeared that cake onto your face.

It was a tough time afterwards. You never knew about Kais crush on you, so it left you feeling utterly helpless. You wanted to help somehow but just made it worse. Taehyuns friendship with Kai also was severely damaged and you felt it was just because of you. To say the least, you both felt horrible. But could you really if you both just followed your heart?

It took a while but for Taehyun it was every second worth the wait when Hueningkai came to talk to him. It was a long heartfelt conversation filled with tears, apologies, forgiveness and lots of hugs. Taehyun felt deeply thankful towards his friend. Kai knew he couldn’t hold his friends happiness away from him. He knew a girl who didn’t want him wasn’t worth losing one of his dearest and closest friends. He knew his feelings for you soon or later would disappear. It just took some time.

And it indeed got better for all of you. Him and Kai were as close as before if not even closer and between you and Taehyun was nothing but love. Taehyun had never felt such feelings this strong for anyone else before. Not even his eleven year older babysitter he had a crush on when he was 7 years old for whom he waited anxiously every time his parents went out. Taehyun felt absolutely great being with you. He loved the way your conversations flowed so well and he loved the way you always supported each other. He didn’t know much about relationships in the first place since you were his first real girlfriend but somehow he knew this was just right and just healthy. You just clicked.

2026

Taehyun was 24 and you were 23 when your first break up happened. It wasn’t out of hatred or jealousy like other couples may go through, no, it was because you both decided to. It was the best move at that moment, thinking that a long distance relationship over half the globe couldn’t work anymore. It worked for a year since you left for France to work. It was a good paid job in just the right place for you and you loved it. But you hated being so far away from Taehyun.

Your relationship was amazing. It was like living on fluffy clouds, always high with the feeling of euphoria and glee. But there had to be low points as well. The sky wasn’t always full of clouds. Sometimes you had to jump off to come into touch with reality. And this was such a moment.

However, nobody would have thought that sometimes these decisions we make and find so hard to make, exactly these were the worse decisions. Taehyun felt like he was a hollow porcelain figure. He felt so lonely even though you still were parted by the ocean. And somehow he felt less lonely before the split. Now he felt like you took his heart with you. And the only person who could save him from drowning was you.

It only took him half a year- 6 months- to realize that he made the worst decisions in his life. Hueningkai, who had long lost feelings for you and now was in a happy relationship himself, literally beat some sense into his hollow brain. He couldn’t just lose you like that. And it took him only one kick to pack his bag and take the next plane towards France. Towards you.

To say the least, you were utterly shocked to see your (ex)boyfriend sit in front of the wooden door of your small apartment. His eyes weren’t sparkling like they did all these years before. And his hair had grown a bit- it was now black again. Seeing you again was like a spark of hope inside of him. He wanted to make it good again. He was determined to get you back, no matter how hard a long distance relationship might be. It was worth for him now, he learned that the hard way.

You pulled him up and inside your tiny flat. It felt so familiar touching him, yet it seemed so long ago. But you missed it…him. Before any words were shared, Taehyun pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You felt like crying, finally being with the person you loved the most. All your surpressed feelings came crashing back to you again. And you wanted to never let him go again. Hugging him felt like coming home again after a long trip. And something in this hug brought you reassurance that your story together wasn’t over yet. There would need to be much more difficult obstacles than an ocean between the two of you to part you.

2027

You cried. You bawled your eyes out. As much and hard as you possibly could. Taehyuns arms pressed you further into his firm chest, grabbing the fabric of his blue hoodie. Large wet spots were now found on top of it. The small plastic stick in Taehyuns hands felt heavy and cold. He couldn’t quite grasp this particular situation, being lost in his own train of thoughts. He was shell shocked. You on the other hand were emotionally on the furthest end. Not only were your hands shaking uncontrollably, but your whole face by now was sticky from all your endless flowing tears.

“It’s allright sunshine. We can do that. It’s just a surprise, not the end of the world, okay?” The 24 year old mans voice wasn’t as stable as he hoped it to be but it had the right effect on you anyways. Your big eyes saw his blurry face in front of you. A sob escaped your mouth. He gave you the sweetest smile, gently tapping away your heavy tears.

“I’m afraid, Taehyun…” your hoarse voice almost sounded as quiet as a breeze, you weren’t sure if he even heard it. But the man simply put his forehead against yours, patting your hair in the back with the utmost care. You could feel him nod slightly, being able to see the fear in his own eyes.

“I know baby, me too… but we can do this together. Really. You are not alone in this.” It was almost like a promise, telling you he never would leave your side. Not even when you would look like a bloated whale with calve and back pain. Not even when in less than 9 months you both would enter a totally different path in life. But you would do it together. And that was what calmed you down the most. With him you were never alone.

2029

When his big sparkling eyes met your elegant white figure, he couldn’t help but let a tear slip past his normally controlled face. No one could blame him. It was such a touching moment in every persons life being able to see their partner in front of the altar with their hand in their own. And when he saw that big bright smile on your lips, muttering the soft ‘I do’ in his ears full of confidence, he knew that life went just the right way. He suddenly believed in fate and soulmates and true love. Because when he looked at your eyes, he saw his future. Not only his past and present but all the other precious moments to come.

Your path up until this moment wasn’t easy and you both knew that. The pregnancy had been a tough one for you, containing dozens of sleepless nights, horrible mood swings and a 34 hour long birth. Taehyun still could remember the day his daughter was born as well as his own name. He still felt your squeezing hand, he still heard your painful screams and most importantly, he still remembers holding and seeing the baby for the first time, setting free emotions even he didn’t knew he had. It was a new world for both of you. But you regretted absolutely nothing.

And when he could finally lay his lips on top of yours, the priest declaring you his wife, he couldn’t hear his friends and families cheers and whistles. He could only really see you and his little daughter in her grandfathers arms.

2032

“Daddy hurry up. I want to play.” The small yet loud voice of Taehee, your first born daughter, boomed through the empty halls. Nothing adorned the blank walls yet and the only color he could see besides white, was the brown of the many carton boxes standing around on the floor. A satisfying feeling made itself known inside of the young father. The new keys pressed cooling against his palm. It was both of your hard work that enabled you to finally settle down and buy your first real house together. And it felt exhilarating.

“Soon bunny, we will first make some space here, alright? It may takes some time though. You can help me.” He offered the tiny girl his hand, which she immediately grabbed. While grinning from ear to ear, ponytails bobbing up and down, she looked way too much alike her mother. Even the way they laugh reminded him of her. Only the big innocent eyes showed him that indeed she was his child, glistening with the same amount of curiosity as his always did.

“When is mummy coming back? I want to see my little brother again. He was so cute.” The man smiled fondly at the girl in his hand and mentioned her to sit down onto the wooden floor. “They are coming this evening. They still need to rest a bit in the hospital until they can come home. But in the meantime we are gonna start unpacking and make a nice cosy dinner for mummy, how does that sound?” The girl nodded again, this time more excited at the mention of her new little brother and mother coming home. You were both over the moon when you found out about your second pregnancy. Unlike the first time, it was a happy memory free from all your doubts and fears. You already went through the first one so it showed to be a lot easier the second time. Yet it was just exhilarating as the first one, Taehyun finally found his loved ones and he would never ever let them go. He was the happiest he had ever been. It was all like a dream.

When you were finally being released from the dull hospital, this time with a tiny baby boy in the bowl in your hands, you were met with one of the beloved home cooked meals of your husband. Taehyun had gone all out to surprise you and the adorable girl besides him had the biggest smile on her face as he explained that she had helped her. The first meeting of Taehees new sibling was just lovely. Fondness was already written all across her as she carefully poked the baby’s chubby cheek. Taehyuns eyes were full of the purest form of love. Proud, yet so delicate, it was just as you had seen him on the day your first daughter was born. He was ready to give it all to his family. And he meant it.

The next day was just as eventful as the day before. Printed out pictures were all laying around the empty floor, now they were all sitting on a fluffy carpet. You were hunched over a white piece of paper, eccentricly writing down all and everything. Taehyun playfully peaked over your shoulders to get a small glimpse at the long heartfelt letter, you seemed to be writing with so much concentration, only to be met with a giggling flick on his forehead. You had told him it was only to be read in the future, not for now, so he respected your decision but it still didn’t hinder him from being curious and trying to guess what you were writing. Taehyun had always had the urge to find more about things he was interested in and constantly would sacrifice his free time to learn new skills or facts about all thinkable topics. Something you loved so much about your love.

“Alright. I’m finished. Now…bunny have you found your favorite drawings?” You folded the papers and stuffed them into a pink envelope. Glitter stickers were put all around by your little daughter. The girl nodded enthusiastically holding up a few of her fantastic, creative paintings so full of life and childlike excitement. Taehyun took them from her with a smile and layed them into the metal box together with your letter and a pile of photos you’ve carefully chose together.

You and Taehyun sitting on the couch at night, your children already sleeping tight. You felt his hot breath in your neck, letting your heart race like a maniac but still feeling completely and utterly lost and in love with this man. Laying against his upper body, you’ve spontaneously decided to hide a time capsule in your new garden full of your dearest treasures. It was a wonderful idea honestly, holding onto this seemingly perfect moment just for a moment longer before letting go and let the flow of life taking over again. A moment to freeze and lock up in a tiny box to look back at in the future. It was a secure feeling for the both of you.

After adding all the things you’ve found important, Taehyun recalled Taehee bringing one of her favorite toys and in the end there were way too many things inside, he could barely close the lid and lock it up. Together with a shovel, you made your way towards the backyard, finding a lovely spot next to a hazel bush. A place he could never forget as he saw his daughter running around with joy in her yellow sundress. Lovely. Just lovely.

Digging the hole about a meter and a half deep, Taehyun placed the box carefully into the cooling soil, smelling the intense scent of nature. With a last smile, he filled the hole with earth again, leaving back a bittersweet moment of farewell and a new segment of life. But that was how life went. Unexpectedly and still so lovely.

2045

“Dad, can you please drive me to Johnny? He asked me to hang out...” Taehyun looked up from his computer, legs crossed, too focused to fully realize what his 17 year old daughter just asked him. A distant hum was his only answer. “Dad? Did you hear me?” Taehee tried again, slight annoyance laced in her voice. Taehyun blinked surprised and snapped out of his bubble filled with work.

“What did you say bunny?” The same nickname had never left the now teenage girl throughout her whole life. “Oh dad…I asked if you could give me a ride to Johnny’s?” A hint of a red blush creeped up her ears and cheeks under her fathers piercing eyes. “Johnny who? The lanky skater boy from your class? The one who was expelled for violent behaviour?” Taehee shrunk seemingly but shook her head, trying to form an excuse. “No- I mean yes it’s him but dad he’s really not like that. You don’t even know him. He just asked me to hang out…that’s all.”

Taehyun pulled an eyebrow up but nodding, an incoming call from work disrupting his train of thoughts. “And? Can you?” She asked again, seeing her father already about to accept the call. “No…no not now bunny. I’m still working but you can ask your mum. She wanted to drive your brother to his boxing lesson.” With this he finally accepted the call, apologising for the wait. With a sigh and a short nod, Taehee turned and waved his father rejectedly, looking over her shoulder.

Little did he know… oh how Taehyun wished to relive this moment, never accepting that stupid call and just drive his children instead of you. Everything would still be alright. Everyone would still be here…

That had been the last moment he saw his daughter, his son and his wife.

When Taehyun received the life changing call, his heart fell into a sea of tiny deathly splinters. Nothing was left for him. He had nothing. Absolutely nothing. When the hospital told him about the deathly car crash his whole family had been fatally injured and in the end dying on the spot of the accident, he broke down… he wanted to cry and scream and shout and destroy everything…but he couldn’t. He was empty. And so empty, not only his family disappeared that day, he vanished as well, never experiencing the feeling of home and comfort and love ever again. He was completely lost and that forever. And that’s when Taehyun gave up. He just simply…gave up.

[morganofthewildfire]

12 Days of Rowaelin Day 1 - Happy Accidents

Here’s day 1! This is based off a prompt sent in by the lovely @writtenonreceipts

I work at the local library and I’m trying to put up all the decorations myself, but I fell off the ladder trying to hang up the garland and you caught me

Hope you enjoy! - 1233 words

~~~~~~

There were many reasons why Aelin Galathynius loved her job. She loved the atmosphere, loved being surrounded by books, loved all of the kids she interacted with, and just generally loved coming to work every day. Rowan Whitethorn certainly didn’t hurt, either.

He worked next door to the library, and he came in about every other day, always checking out some new history book. Aelin quickly discovered that was his favorite genre, and began giving him some recommendations, starting a conversation every time he came up to her desk.

She would never admit that she spent time every night researching which ones to talk about. Being a fiction reader herself, she didn’t have any experience in that field. But she looked forward to him coming in every time, so she was eager for any opportunity to talk to him.

Rowan had started coming to the small library a few months ago, and Aelin gradually learned more about his personality and what went on beyond his handsome face. Because he was handsome. Dreadfully so. With his silvery hair, deep green eyes, and tan skin. With the striking, artistic black tattoo and the charming smile that drew her in and enthralled her all at the same time.

And he was funny. A subtle funny that took a few visits for her to pick up on. He was very intelligent, always responding to her witty comments with some snark of his own. And he was kind, considerate, and compassionate beneath his calm exterior.

Basically, she was screwed. Because she was completely and utterly, into him. And he had no idea.

Aelin sighed and rested her chin on her hand, slumping in her chair. It was a quiet day so far, the cold and snowy weather outside keeping a lot of people from venturing out. Soft Christmas music played over the speakers, and she began humming to it slightly, trying to think of what she could do.

There weren’t any books to put away, no new deliveries were due until next week, and she had already organized all of the late fines the day before.

So she was stuck. A few people were dwindling in some of the seating areas, but none of them needed her help and she didn’t want to bother them unnecessarily.

Aelin had hoped Rowan would come in today, he hadn’t been in almost a week, but it seemed so far her hopes were dashed.

Her eyes wandered around her desk, looking at everything and trying to find something to distract herself with until her shift was over, but she came up short until she landed on a cardboard box half hidden under the jacket she had haphazardly thrown that morning.

She smiled and dragged it over to her, opening it to reveal a few strands of garland. Aelin had forgotten about her plan to start hanging up the Christmas decorations, formulated yesterday. This was only one box of many, and she could definitely spend her empty hours working on that.

Every year she tried to spice up the building a little bit by adding all the decor. Nobody else who worked there seemed to really care, but she wanted to bring a bit of holiday cheer.

So she got up from her desk and walked back to the storage room, keeping an eye out to make sure no one needed her help, and grabbed a short ladder and some tape. There were a few archways throughout the library that she could hang the garland up on, but they were too tall for her to reach by herself.

The first one was easy: the garland was light, the tape held it up well, it took her only a few minutes. Same with the second one.

It was the third where she ran into trouble. The garland had somehow gotten knotted, but she didn’t realize until she was already halfway through taping it up, and she was determined to not have to start over. So she tried to untie it while reaching over her head to get to the middle of the arch, which turned out to be a very bad idea.

She didn’t realize she was falling until it was too late, her foot slipping out from under her as her balance was thrown too far to the side.

Her eyes squeezed shut as she cringed, accidentally pulling the garland down with her as she braced her arm out to hopefully hurt her wrist instead of her head.

But when she landed in a pair of warm arms instead of crashing into the floor, Aelin looked up in confusion, eyes widening as she found herself staring at Rowan.

Her cheeks bloomed red as she looked at their position. She was practically cradled in his strong arms, pressed close to his chest. His comforting pine and snow scent enveloped her and she found herself wanting to stay there forever, cuddled tight with him.

But the moment ended too quickly, as he set her down carefully.

“That was a close one,” he said, chuckling slightly. Aelin mumbled an agreement, cheeks still flaming.

“Who knew Christmas decorating could be so dangerous,” she replied, trying to laugh it off. But she was embarrassed for more than one reason. First, the obvious one, and second, because he looked like an absolute dream today and she could not stop staring.

He was in his work clothes, the black suit jacket hugging his broad shoulders, and his hair was wonderfully tousled, the short cut still long enough to where she could run her hands through it.

She shook her head, getting rid of the distracting thoughts. It was then she realized he had been talking, and was now staring at her expectantly.

“What?” She said without thinking, and she just blushed even more. Why couldn’t she act normal around him?

“I was asking if you wanted some help,” he said, smiling at her, “I’m on my lunch break and I have nothing to do.”

Aelin nodded a little too quickly, and cursed herself silently for looking too eager. But Rowan didn’t seem to notice. He just walked over to the fallen garland and picked it up, effortlessly untying the knot.

“When did you even come in?” She asked, trying to sound nonchalant, “I didn’t see you a few minutes ago.”

“Oh, I just got here,” he said, “I didn’t see you at your desk so I came looking.”

Her lips curled up on the edges and she ducked her head down, the statement making her unbelievably happy.

“You came looking, huh?” She said, not missing out on the chance to tease him.

“Of course,” he said, over exaggerating the words, pretending like he was offended by her accusation, “I can’t go to the library without seeing my reading buddy, can I?”

Her smile deflated a little bit. That sure sounded like something you’d say to just a friend. Not anything more.

“Definitely not,” she said, tone falling a little flat.

But Rowan tucked a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, and leaned in to place a delicate kiss to her cheek, her eyes closing at the touch.

“And I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he whispered, before pulling away with a smile, nonchalantly climbing up the ladder and taping the garland and leaving Aelin to process what just happened.

Maybe he did like her after all.

Taglist:

@lexflame

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato

@camilamartinezdunne

@rolltide7

@sleeping-and-books

@tottenhamboys20

@aelinfeyreeleven945tbln

@yesdreamblog

@jlinez

@superspiritfestival

@courtofjurdan

@booknerdproblems

@queen-of-glass

@ireallyshouldsleeprn

@imaginedhaven

@fangirlprincess09

@lauraisfae

@claralady

@sassys-world

@booksbqueen

@aelinashryvergalathynius18

@more-espresso-less-depresso-xx

@http-itsrebecca

@perseusannabeth

@throneofmak

@emilyoftheshadows

@poisonous00

@thegoddessofyou

@highqueenofelfhame

@chieflemming

@danaanruhn

@westofmoon

@acciowests

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Nothing Changed But Everything’s Different | Sirius Black x Reader

Warning: slowburn angst, mentions of slight violence, alcohol, no happy ending

Time/Era: Marauder Era, Ages 18-21

Word Count: 10.1k

Summary: Sirius found someone who made him believe in love at first sight. 

Request: Okay! :) Well in that case can I have an ANGST Sirius x Reader? Where they’ve been together for a few years (it’s post-hogwarts only a couple years) but the relationship is starting to sour and crumble. Sirius being Sirius is flirting with other girls and just neglecting y/n. They argue a lot and everyone can see that it’s deteriorating. It gets to a point where he just flat doesn’t acknowledge her even though they live together, long and ANGSTY pls 🥺 :) U decide the ending! :) Ty, much love!

A/N: I worked really, really hard on this so I hope you enjoy :) Let me know what you think :)

part 2 | masterlist | marauders era playlist | read on ao3

“She’s absolutely gorgeous, Prongs!” A young Sirius Black twirled around the dorm room and fell onto his bed with a dreamy sigh. “She’s witty and smart mouthed, but she’s so sweet and nice at the same time. She listens to the Weird Sisters and Queen and she’s a total badass.” 

“Y/N L/N?” James scoffs, bending over a sketch he was working on. It appeared to be an intricate building of some sort, complete with four stories and geometric windows. 

“Yes, Y/N L/N! I think it’s love at first sight, Prongsy. I’m going to marry that girl one day.” Sirius laid one of his ankles against the post of his bed. The leather of his boot made a loud squeaking noise, and James cringed.

“Have you ever even talked to Y/N L/N?” James smiled smugly and smudged ink across the side of his hand. 

“Have you ever had an actual conversation with Lily Evans?” Sirius countered, making James sputter. James looked diagonally towards Sirius and moved his head so their corresponding bedposts weren’t in the way. 

“I have! This morning, for example! We talked about the morning toast for a full 3 minutes!” His glasses began to fog as his cheeks warm. Sirius laughed heartily and threw the pillow that was under his head square at James’ face. With a deep ‘oof,’ James looks back towards Sirius, glasses now crooked. “Fine, don’t believe me! You’re just angry Evans is finally starting to fall for my charm.” 

“Ah yes, my bad. I forgot sweat and body odor was irresistible to girls.” 

“Lily isn’t a girl.” James reached his slender fingers to level his glasses. “She’s a woman.” 

Sirius was sent into hysterics; chest heaving, loud laughter, tearful, hysterics. James rolled his eyes and threw the pillow back at Sirius. But, in all of its glory, the cushion hit Sirius’ bedpost and sent feathers flying through the air. Sirius busts out in even more laughter, falling to the floor with a big, dramatic thud. 

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks, entering the room and setting his bag onto his bed. “Why is Pads on the floor?” 

“JP assaulted me!” 

“I DID NOT YOU THREW FIRST!!!” 

Remus chuckled under his breath and unbuckled his bag to retrieve his homework. “And what exactly caused this alleged assault? Did Sirius call you Prancer again?” 

A bark sounding laugh came from Sirius and James scowled. 

“No, we were just talking about his newfound obsession with Y/N L/N and he took an unwarranted dig at mine and Lily’s relationship.” 

Remus snorted and set his work on his desk. “What relationship?” Sirius let out another “HA” and pulled himself back onto his mattress. “And isn’t Y/N L/N the one who called your hair greasy, Pads?” 

“Well, yes, but I like a woman with a bit of attitude,” Sirius sighed dreamily. His left pointer finger, ring and all, came to twirl a chunk of his hair. “I think I want an autumn wedding.” 

“You’re not getting married to her, mate. You don’t even know her.” James came to Remus’ bed and started poking around his bag. “Are you putting on the scar ointment Pomfrey gave you still, Moons? Hey! Stop picking at that one, you’re going to make it worse!” He slapped Remus’ hand away from his face and Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Who are you? My mother?” 

“I am too going to marry her, James! Just watch me!” 

Peter opened the door solemnly, a grumpy look plastered on his face. James turns nervously towards him before slapping him on the back. 

“What happened, Pete? I thought you were supposed to be on a date?” 

“I was, but she stood me up. Again.” Peter responds, making a beeline for the window seat. Conveniently, it was located next to his bed, so he haphazardly tossed his school bag onto the mattress. He grabs hold of one of the pillows before hugging it to his chest and burying his head into it. Sirius and James share a look before Sirius speaks up. 

“Awh, you’ll get ‘em next time. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s her loss, really.” 

“No, it was my loss. It was Abagail Cavin, mate. It was definitely my loss.” Peter’s voice was muffled as he muttered into the soft fabric. 

“Who’s Abagail Cavin?” Sirius asks, looking towards Remus for an answer. He shrugs. 

“I think that’s the ginger girl who always hangs around Y/N L/N? A year or two below us,” James thought aloud. “She’s friends with Lily too, I’ve seen them studying together.” 

Remus snorts. “Of course you have.” 

“I don’t know if I’m sad or angry.” The mousy boy admits, throwing the pillow in his lap at the wall. It hit one of Sirius’ Queen posters, making the frame fall to the floor with a loud crash. James is quick to swoop in and redirect Peter’s attention in fear of him escalating. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, there’s no need to get mad at Abagail. Um, how about we go get some sweets from the kitchens, yeah? Maybe that’ll make you feel better.” 

Peter tightened his jaw, staring at the now shattered frame on the ground. After a moment of silence from all the boys, Peter nodded and the pair exited the room. 

~

“Y/N L/N,” Sirius spoke in his signature flirty voice. He tried to match her walking pace, but she seemed to be in a rush. 

“Sirius Black, what can I do for you?” Y/N answered, her school uniform skirt swaying as she walked. She was on her way to meet Abagail in the library so the two could study together, and she was already 5 minutes late. 

“I was wondering if you would -excuse me, sorry- if you would like to go to the next Quidditch match with me?” Y/N seemed to swerve in and out of the crowded hallway like a car in heavy traffic. “Supposed to be a good game, you know.” 

“Me? Go with you? While you cheer your little boyfriend on? Thanks for offering, but I have to decline.” 

“Come on, you always go anyway! It could be fun!” Sirius finally matched Y/N’s fast gait. “And maybe we could grab some hot butterbeer or cider after.” 

Y/N sighed, suddenly stopping at the entrance of the library. She faced Sirius boldly and grabbed his upper arms with her hands. 

“Listen, it’s really flattering that you want me to go with you, and I have to admit, you’re super cute. But, you don’t exactly have the best track record with girls and I don’t want to be just a checkmark on your list of girls to shag.” 

While any person would be wounded by Y/N’s blunt assumptions, Sirius grins. “That’s where you’re wrong, love. I don’t really have a track record with girls, unless you count the week I dated Marlene McKinnon the October of our 2nd year. It’s our 7th year and I’ve had one kind-of girlfriend.”

Sirius watched as Y/N’s facial expression changed. Taking this as an invitation to keep going, he rubs his hands together and continues. “And if you’re talking about shagging, I’ve shagged maybe three girls who were not on some kind of to-fuck list, thank you very much.” Sirius suddenly leans in so he could whisper. “I’m just flirty. And based on the look on your face, the flirting is working.” 

“Y/N!” Abagail’s voice made Y/N drop her hands and Sirius smirk. “What are you doing?” 

“Oh, we’re just chit chatting,” Sirius answers for Y/N. “But, I do have a question for you, Ab.” 

Abagail’s face scrunched in response. “Don’t call me that. What’s your question?” 

“Why’d you stand up my mate Peter?” Sirius now stood with his feet shoulders width apart, arms crossed over his chest and his hair pulled to one side. Y/N couldn’t help but admire how well Sirius’ uniform pants fit. 

“What do you mean, stand him up? We talked about hanging out, but we never made actual plans. Honestly, I don’t really think I want to make any official plans. Some of the things he says are kinda scary.” Y/N looks sympathetically towards her friend.

“I told you to just ignore him, babes.” 

“I know, I know. I really think he’s a nice guy deep down though.” 

Sirius looked puzzled, “What harmless, little Peter Pettigrew says scares you?” 

Abagail nods frantically, “He came and sat with Lily and me when we were studying in the library last week. He went on a rant about how he can’t wait to become an Auror just to see,” The girl lifted her fingers to so air quotes. “How far he can take it.” 

“That doesn’t sound like Peter at all,” Sirius’ eyebrows knit in confusion. 

“Well, it was. And Y/N and I have a lot of studying to do. So, if you’ll excuse us.” Abagail gently tugged at Y/N’s arm. 

“Wait! So, is it a date, Y/N?” Sirius called after the girls. Y/N turned over her shoulder and beamed. 

“Common room before the match. I don’t like to be kept waiting, Black!”

~

“You don’t like to be kept waiting… but you think it’s perfectly okay to leave me all alone in the common room? That’s not very kind, Y/N.” Sirius watched Y/N descend the stairs to the girls dormitory. He was wearing his Gryffindor sweater and ripped black jeans, his hair tied messily in a bun. A long, striped scarf dangled lazily on his shoulders and draped down his frame to his mid thigh. 

“I said before the match and if I’m not mistaken, it’s before the match.” Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Are those for me?” 

Sirius quickly stood, holding out a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. “Heh, yeah. I thought it was fitting because it’s the middle of October and we’re going to a Quidditch match. The leaves are orange and there’s so many colors and the sunflowers have the same kind of color pallet-” 

“Sirius, they’re lovely. Thank you.” Y/N cut off the blabbering boy. She took the flowers happily and observed their pretty petals. Sirius was right; the rich golden color matched the fallen leaves that littered the Hogwarts grounds. Y/N held up a waiting finger to Sirius so she could go leave her flowers in her dorm. 

“It’s pretty cold out, love, do you want to grab a jacket?” Sirius said when she returned. 

“It’s all in the name of fashion, my dear,” Y/N pulls a piece of hair behind her ear and nods towards the portrait hole. “Shall we?” 

Y/N sat in the crowd with her legs crossed; her shoulders were slumped forwards and her hands stayed sandwiched in between her thighs. Gryffindor was absolutely destroying Ravenclaw with the impressive score of 80-10. 

“The snitch is right by Potter’s head!” Y/N screeched, bumping Sirius’ shoulder with her own. 

“Where?! I don’t see it!” 

“To the right! Meadowes needs to catch it before Lockhart sees it!” Y/N shivers in spite of herself, bringing her hands to her mouth in order to warm them. Sirius snickers and loops his scarf around her shoulders. 

“Hopefully that doesn’t ruin your outfit, love.” Sirius winks and turns back to the game. 

The scarf was soft and toasty, and smelt exactly like Sirius. The satisfying mix of leather, butterbeer, pine and smoke engulfed her senses and made her dizzy. Y/N wrapped it around her arms and snuggled deeper into the soft knit. 

“Meadowes spots the snitch!” Remus announces over the intercom. The entire statum seemed to erupt into chaos; cheers and boos echoing off of every surface within 500 feet. 

Y/N had always had a soft spot for Remus; they weren’t friends, but something about him was so warm and inviting. He in no way seemed like the type to announce a Quidditch match, but it appears that when you’re friends with James Potter long enough, anything could happen. 

Dorcas zooms past the Gryffindor student section in her pursuit for the snitch. The entire group, Lily and Marlene especially, scream out loud words of encouragement. Y/N could have sworn she could see a faint smile appear across Dorcas’ features. 

“Potter scores! 10 points to Gryffindor! 90-10! Ravenclaw could still win if Lockhart catches the snitch!” 

“Come on, come on,” Sirius mumbles under his breath. No matter how much he liked to deny it, Sirius got really into Quidditch. He couldn’t play for shit, but he knew the mechanics of the game like the back of his hand. 

“Meadowes catches the snitch! Gryffindor wins!!” The entire crowd goes ballistic. Kids hug, and some kiss, before storming the field to congratulate their team. James stays on his broom, doing small loops in the air in the hopes of impressing a certain redhead. 

Sirius wraps his strong arms around his date, pulling her to her feet and lifting her into the air. “We won, Y/N! We won!!” 

Y/N snakes her arms around Sirius in return, a similar happiness bubbling in her chest. 

“What’d ya say about grabbing some hot cider from the kitchens to celebrate?” Sirius questions, noticing they’re the last students at their seats. 

Y/N nods, a soft smile gracing her face. “Yes, please. I’m fucking freezing.” 

~

“It would be easier if you just levitated the boxes in, love.” Y/N watched as Sirius struggled to carry boxes into the living room of their new flat. She giggled, admiring her boyfriend’s flexed biceps and strong hands. The prominent veins in his hands and forearms were bulging, making the manual labor a show for his very happy girlfriend. 

“I feel like that’s bad luck,” Sirius explained, placing the cardboard onto the floor. “I want to do this right. If I don’t we could be cursed.” 

“Whatever you say, babe. But, just so you know, that box goes into the kitchen.” With a flirty wink and smile, Y/N walked into their bedroom to unpack some of their boxes. 

Their new flat wasn’t overly exciting; it was a one bedroom, one bath flat above a small bakery in the center of London. It was a tiny space, as you’d expect two barely-twenty-year-olds to own, but it would soon be their home. Y/N was just excited the flat had a kitchenette and a small living space. 

The best part, in Y/N’s opinion at least, was the fact that the smell of freshly baked bread filled their flat at the beginning of each day. The elderly bakery owners, Jullian and Caspar, had given the young couple a good price on the flat. According to them, they were waiting for the perfect couple to rent from them. What that meant, Y/N didn’t know, but it made her feel special all the same. 

Y/N looked out of their window to the hustle and bustle on the sidewalk below. The shop was a small, hole in the wall bakery called Dream Puffs, that was oddly popular for its location. And Y/N was quick to understand why. Almost everything they made, especially the sour dough bread and cream puffs, were to die for. Jillian had presented Sirius and her a large loaf of the bread and a dozen cream puffs as a welcome present, most of which had been eaten already. Y/N wished she had known of Dream Puffs and the wonderful owners before, but she supposed she still had a lot to discover in London. 

The one downside was the only way to get into their apartment was by going through the bakery. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but when you’re in a rush or having a bad day, having to face random people isn’t the most ideal situation. Jullian and Caspar were nice enough to close the bakery early for the couple’s move in. 

“I thought you were supposed to be unpacking?” Sirius poked his head into their bedroom with sweat dripping down his brow. 

“Oh right, sorry,” Y/N lazily flicked her wand and their clothing sprang to life. 

“Bad luck, Y/N!” He entered the room and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, laid his chin on her shoulder and looked out the window. The busy streets and buildings were muted by the glass, which made Y/N feel as if they were watching ants in an ant farm. 

“I doubt we’ll get bad luck from levitating a few shirts, darling,” Y/N brought one of his hands to her mouth, gently kissing his knuckles before returning it to her waist. “I can’t believe this place is ours,” 

“Well, technically it’s Jillian’s and Caspars, but yes.” Sirius chuckles directly into Y/N’s ear and kisses her shoulder. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Are you asking me to marry you?” 

“Yes and no. Not now, obviously, but eventually. We’re going to be together forever anyway, so why should we rush?” 

Y/N sighed happily, feeling very loved. 

~

“Do you think Abagail will ever talk to me again?” Peter asked, laying his head against the armrest of the couch. “I heard she's working at the book shop in Diagon Alley.” 

Y/N snorted, laying her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and enjoying the sound of the record playing in the corner of the room. Sirius and Y/N were hosting a dinner party for their friends in celebration of James getting accepted into the Auror academy. The nine of them -Sirius, Y/N, James, Lily, Peter, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary- were all piled in Sirius and Y/N’s small living room, tipsy and full of warm food. 

“That happened almost two years ago, Pete. Let it go,” Y/N hummed, Sirius’ gentle hand rubbing her back and lulling her to sleep. She could feel the vibrations of Sirius’ laughter through his leather jacket. 

“Yeah, so? I’m not allowed to like someone that long?” Peter’s voice was harsher than he anticipated, making Sirius send a glare his way. 

“She means stop moping around and pining after a girl who doesn’t want you. There’s a world of opportunity and thousands of girls just waiting to date you if you open your eyes to it.” Sirius’ tone was barely lighter than Peter’s. 

“Well I don’t want thousands of girls, Padfoot. I want Abagail. Not everyone can hit it on their first try.” 

“Hit it on their first try?” Y/N was now wide awake. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“I mean,” Peter sat up, looking Y/N straight in the eyes. “You fucked Sirius on the first date.” 

“Woah, woah, woah, alright that’s enough. Wormy, Pads, Y/N, let’s all just take a deep breath and calm down for a moment.” James was quick on his feet to defuse the potentially harmful situation. He knew how Peter could get, and he didn’t want to see it escalate to that point. 

“Did you just slut shame me for having sex with my own boyfriend? Do you even have the authority to do that, Mr. Unused-Condom?” Y/N was now standing with James, starting to walk towards Peter. Peter stumbled to his feet and stared into Y/N’s eyes. 

“He wasn’t your boyfriend then, Miss Drop-My-Panties-for-a-Knut.” 

Sirius was quick to act, anger boiling inside of him. His knuckles balled into a fist and he threw a nasty punch square into Peter’s jaw. “No one insults my girl, Peter. I thought you knew better than that.” Sirius’ voice was like nothing Y/N had ever heard; it was cold and icy, yet fiery hot and full of hell-bending anger. 

Peter looked up and slugged Sirius right in the nose, making it gush blood. Remus grabs Sirius’ arms and binds them behind his back, trusting James to do the same to Peter. 

Y/N shrieked, having never seen Sirius or Peter get physical with anyone, let alone each other. Marlene grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the boys. 

“What have we talked about, you two?” James demanded, the vein on his neck bulging. 

“I’m not going to sit around and let him harass my girlfriend, JP! He’s a fucking asshole and he knows it!” Sirius struggled against his binds, but Remus was much stronger than him. 

“I’m not the one dating a slut!” 

“Get the fuck out of my flat!” Sirius screams making the room shake. Peter wiggles from James’ grip and grabs his wand before disapperating out of the room. 

Remus releases Sirius and he stomps out of the flat and down the stairs, most likely to go smoke a cigarette. James quickly follows after a glance towards Lily. 

“What did James mean when he said ‘what have we talked about,’ Remus?” Y/N asks, her soft voice a stark contrast from Sirius’ shouting. Remus runs a big hand down his face and plops onto the couch. 

“I wasn’t supposed to let you girls know,” He scoffs, shaking his head. “Sirius and Peter have been at each other’s throats for the past few years. Recently, it started getting physical. James always tries to defuse the situation, but it doesn’t work a ton.” Remus meets Y/N’s gaze and smiles sadly. “That boy would do absolutely anything for you, I hope you know that.” 

~

Sirius laid in bed with his arms wound tightly around Y/N’s waist. It was near 5 am and the light was just barely peeking through the window of their bedroom. The morning bread must have just been put in the oven, as the smell of fresh bread was slowly starting to overtake the flat. A long sliver of silver light slashed against the wall before fading delicately into the white paint. Sirius sighed contently and looked down at his girl. 

Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly agape; Sirius observed how Y/N’s eyes moved under her eyelids while wondering what she was dreaming about. He hoped she dreamt of him, as his dreams were constantly riddled with her. Every aspect of her danced around his dreams: her lovely smile, her laugh, her scent, her gait, and everything that made Y/N Y/N. Sirius’ own lips parted a miniscule amount as he brought the back of his fingers to brush her cheek. He couldn’t help but notice how soft her skin was under his touch. She was so peaceful in this moment, and if she was to be disturbed, the world would crack. 

But all good things come to an end, and Y/N opened her eyes. Her features were riddled with the grogginess of sleep as she batted her eyes to focus her vision. 

“Darling? Is everything alright?” Her voice was honey in his ears. 

“Perfect, my love. Go back to sleep.” 

“What time is it?” Y/N began to wiggle from his strong grip, but Sirius tightened his hold on her waist. 

The man shot a spare glance at the old coo-coo clock that hung in the corner. “Quarter to five” 

“Then may I ask why you’re awake?” 

Sirius sighed, pressing an opened mouth kiss on her forehead. “Couldn’t sleep, the nightmares are still awry.” 

“What was it this time? Your mom?” Y/N was now wide awake and propped up onto her elbow. 

“No, the last Order mission, actually,” Sirius gently brushed a clump of hair out of her eyes. “But it’s okay, I’m alright. I have you here with me.” 

Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pierced. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No, my darling. I just want to lay here with my beautiful girl in my arms.” 

~ 

“I’ve never been to this bar before,” Y/N giggles as Sirius opens the door to the small building. The outside’s appearance was rather unappealing; cracked, exposed brick that has moss growing out of it, a leaky gutter system, a splintering wooden door and a faded open sign. Y/N looked up towards the LED sign that spelled out the bar’s name. Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery illuminated in the wet pavement, but multiple letters were unlit, making it read Silver Ickle and Eat. 

“Me either, one of my clients works here and said she’d give me free drinks.” Sirius winked before following Y/N inside. 

The place was small and drafty, but oddly cozy. It had the same exposed brick as the outside, but this time, they were bright red and covered in picture frames.  A few wooden tables were scattered across the floor opposite the bar, and various older men sat with beers in their hands. 

“Oh, Sirius! My love, you came!” A very angelic girl from behind bar squeals, quickly exciting the bar and throwing her arms around Sirius. Her hurried speed made Y/N step away from the pair to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Sirius chuckles heartily, wrapping his arms around her small frame, seeming to forget Y/N was there. 

“Vanessa! Nice to see you again,” He exhaled. A sinking feeling settled in the bottom of Y/N’s stomach. “How is your tattoo healing?” 

Vanessa pulls her shirt down to show Sirius the skin in between her breasts. On her skin sat a magical tattoo of a Hongorian Horntail dragon, which looked towards Sirius and blew a big breath of fire his way. The art was gorgeous, very obviously Sirius’ work, which only made Y/N’s stomach sink further into her feet. The red, lacy, v neck bra Vanessa was wearing brought out the ink in the tattoo perfectly, and the shape of the cut displayed not only her breasts, but the dragon beautifully. 

Y/N knew that many of Sirius’ clients were girls; she wasn’t stupid. He was a newly licensed tattoo artist at the biggest magical tattoo parlor in all of London. Not to mention, Sirius was an incredibly talented artist, which meant his appointment list was extremely difficult to get on. The charming attitude and good looks only added to the appeal of his artistry. 

“Who’s this?” Vanessa turned her gaze from Sirius’ to look directly at Y/N. Her long, black hair fell over her shoulder like a waterfall and her porcelain skin glowed under the dim lighting. 

“Oh! Right,” Sirius stuttered, shooting a grin in Y/N’s direction. “This is my gorgeous girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N this is Vanessa, I did her dragon tattoo last week.” 

Y/N forced herself to send a polite smile towards the girl who was just all over her boyfriend. Vanessa sent an equally fake smile and began to walk back to the bar. 

“And what can I get started for you, handsome?” She giggled, standing in front of the large wall of liquor. Y/N felt as if she was back at Hogwarts with all the girls throwing themselves at Sirius. 

“Old fashioned,” Sirius responded, taking place on one of the wooden stools. “And for the lady, tequila on the rocks with lime.” 

Vanessa sends Y/N an icy look before giggling sweetly. “Coming right up.” 

Y/N sends a worried glance towards Sirius, but he just responds by squeezing her thigh and kissing her temple. 

“So, do you have any tattoos? Since you’re so good at your job, I would assume you do, yes?” Vanessa asks, pouring Sirius’s drink and sliding it towards him. 

“Quite a few,” He catches the glass before it flies off the bar. “Most of them are covered by my shirt though.” 

It was true, Sirius’ torso and shoulders were littered with tattoos: A large lion across his right shoulder onto his bicep, stag antlers across his shoulder blades, a moon on the lower left side of his stomach, rat paw marks under the moon, and constellations riddling his collarbones. 

The bartender tilts her head to the side cheekily. “Can I see them?” 

Sirius chuckles in a very happy, flattered way. “I don’t think that’s quite necessary here,” 

“But I can already see this one…” Vanessa reached her arm across the bar and traced the bottom of the lion’s mane with her long, slender fingers. The tattoo seemed to move with her movements. “Can’t I see the rest?” 

Y/N coughs, slapping her hand against the bar. The vibration of Y/N’s sudden movement caused Sirius’ drink to wobble inside the glass. “I think I ordered a tequila not a random chick flirting with my boyfriend.” 

“Of course, how foolish of me.” Vanessa sent a scowl Y/N’s way and turned her back to fetch the bottle of alcohol. Sirius matched Vanessa’s expression. 

Once the flirt finished making Y/N’s drink, she slid it over to her. Y/N took a sip, only to find it was awfully made and very watered down. 

“Sirius, babe, I have a headache, can we go home?” 

“You didn’t have a headache a minute ago?” Sirius raises an eyebrow. 

“I know, I just feel a migraine coming on. I really need to take my migraine potion before it gets bad. Please?” 

Sirius sighs and nods, throwing an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple. “Of course, babygirl.” 

The pair stand from their stools but Vanessa stops them. “That’ll be 2 galleons for the tequila.”

“You said you’d give me free drinks?” Sirius placed a comforting hand on Y/N’s lower back, rubbing small circles over her shirt. 

“Yeah, for you. The tequila wasn’t for you.” 

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out two galleons, slamming them onto the bar. 

“Can I bet on seeing you again?” A loud giggle comes from her mouth as the couple exited the building. “Maybe you can show me your tattoos.” 

~

“I don’t know, Lily! She was all over him and he didn’t stop it.” Y/N bit into an apple and traced the Potters’ tablecloth. It was a month after Sirius and Y/N had visited The Silver Sickle, and Y/N couldn’t keep her anxieties to herself. 

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Lily responded, kneading a big glob of pie crust at the counter. Potter Cottage was much larger than Sirius and Y/N’s flat above Dream Puffs. Earlier that month, Lily had announced she was pregnant, so James decided it was time to upgrade from their small flat to a house fit to raise a family. 

“Yes, but each time I try to bring her up he gets defensive and assures me that it was nothing, that he was trying to get free drinks.” 

Lily stared down at her dough intensely before grabbing her rolling pin. “Well, I wouldn’t let him get away with it. Maybe try to ask him again tonight? Just sit down and have a real, hearts on the table conversation about your feelings and whatnot. It’s important to do that.” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He’s been staying at work late this entire week. Apparently, one of his clients is getting a full back tattoo and it’s taking multiple sessions to finish. This is his biggest job to date, I don’t want to ruin it for him.” 

“How late is late?” The mom-to-be laid the pie crust into her pan and began to trim the excess off of the edges. 

“Nine, sometimes ten. He comes home exhausted.” 

“Hm, okay. I’d still try to speak with him if you can. How’s your work going? St. Mungos treating you well?” 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. My supervisor said that I’m one of the best beginning level healers he’s seen since Pomfrey worked in my ward,” Y/N took another bite of her apple. “I might get transferred to the branch in France for a week coming up, though. There was a big gas explosion and they have over 200 burn victims. My supervisor said it would be a good experience for me.” 

“Oh, I read about that in The Prophet! Those poor people,” Lily filled the crust with apple pie filling. “I’m sure they need all the help they can get.” 

“Oh, I know. I haven’t learned much about burn solvents yet, so it’ll be interesting to learn on the job.” 

“Are you going this week? What a shame, it’s your birthday on Saturday.” 

“Oh, no, the earliest I would be leaving is a fortnight from now. I’m kind of a last resort since I don’t have much experience or training yet.” Y/N stood and threw her apple core into the bin. “How’s JP doing at the Academy? He’s in his second year by now, right?” 

“Oh, he’s doing lovely. The Order is grateful for his efforts and have been sending him on more missions than before.” Lily sighs. “It’s rather nerve wracking, isn't it? You’re lucky Sirius doesn’t get called on many.” 

Y/N laughed a bit uncomfortably. “Yeah, I suppose they prefer actual Aurors to go on the calls. But when he does go, those are the worst nights. I can’t imagine having to go through that on a daily basis.” 

“It’s really hard,” Lily’s voice cracks and she begins to cry. “I’m sorry, it’s the hormones.” 

“Don’t apologize, Lils. I know how scary it can be. At least he's with Wormtail most of the time, yeah? They’re at the academy together and all.” 

Lily takes a deep breath to control her crying. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Thank god for Wormy.” 

~

“Hello there, pretty lady. I heard there’s a 21st birthday party to be thrown?” James said happily as Y/N opened the door of the flat. Lily and Remus tailed him ever so slightly, all three wearing large grins and holding brightly wrapped packages. 

“Birthday party? You guys don’t-” 

James waved his hand dismissively. “We’re already here, so you’re kind of stuck with us. Peter should be here eventually.” The three push their way into the living room. 

“The nice elderly woman downstairs asked me to bring you this,” Remus held out a cupcake with bright red frosting. Y/N took it happily and walked to the kitchen to set it on the counter. 

“Thank you, Moony. But, really, you guys didn’t have to. Sirius isn’t even here.” Y/N felt self conscious around her friends. She was wearing an old tee shirt from her early teens, a beloved Scooby-Doo tee with a rip in the left armpit, and black yoga pants. It was safe to say Y/N was more than ready to spend her birthday alone. 

“What do you mean, not here?” Remus was standing in the corner of the living room, flipping through Sirius and Y/N’s record collection. They had so many at this point that the couple was unsure which record belonged to who. 

“I don’t know, he left early this morning saying he got called into work. Something about an angry customer.” Y/N felt small under the group’s gaze. “I wasn’t really paying attention, I was half asleep.” 

Y/N watched as Lily and James shared a look. “I didn’t think the shop was open on Saturdays, but I guess they are.” Y/N’s shoulders lowered visibly, making Lily backtrack. “It’s the pregnancy brain, Y/N. I’ve been mixing things up for the past week and a half.” 

“Right, right. Of course. Um, how’s that going, by the way?” She crossed her arms across her stomach uncomfortably. 

“Oh, it’s going wonderful! We actually have something to give you, if that’s okay.” 

“Wait!” James cut in. “We should wait for Wormy to get here!” 

Lily hit his chest with the back of her hand. “Oh, come off it. You know how late he is to everything! Let’s do it now.” The couple led Y/N to the couch and sat on either side of her, both wearing matching shit-eating grins. Remus remained leaning against the wall, ready to flip the record when the time came. James placed a medium-sized purple box on her lap. 

Y/N carefully undid the wrapping paper, prompting James to let out a loud groan. 

“Any day now, woman!” 

Y/N giggled. “Hey! It’s my birthday! Be nice to me!” 

“I am being nice to you, Y/N! I gave you a present, didn’t I?” 

Y/N bumped her shoulder with his and reached into the box. Her fingertips met with the soft fabric of a tee shirt. Upon pulling the garment out completely, she observed that the words World’s Best Godmother was printed across the front. Immediately, Y/N dropped the shirt and covered her mouth with her hand. 

“Is that a yes?” Lily asked, her eyes tearing again. 

“Yes! Oh my god!” Y/N’s own tears trailed down her cheeks as she hugged both tightly. “Me? Godmother?” 

“I can’t think of anyone more worthy,” Remus remarked as he watched the heartwarming scene unfold in front of him. Y/N was so overwhelmed with joy that she had almost forgotten that Sirius was absent. Almost. 

The party went along swimmingly from there on out; Peter had arrived shortly after Y/N unboxed Remus’ gift, a new cauldron and potion ingredients, and another gift from the Potters, a pair of gorgeous black combat boots. The mousey-boy shuffled over to Y/N and handed her a small gift bag. 

“Oh? Thanks, Pete.” Y/N awkwardly pulled out the contents of the bag. “Oh, good, a gift card to Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery.” She tried to sound thankful towards the man in front of her, but the disdain was still evident in her voice. 

“Sirius said it was his favorite bar, so I thought you’d like it. Maybe we can grab some lunch there, obviously my treat,” He lazily gestures to the card in her hand. “We haven’t really hung out for a while. I figured it would be nice. If you don’t like it I can get you something diff-” 

Y/N cut him off with a hug, “Thank you, Peter, this was really thoughtful. Would next week work?” 

“Wednesday?” He wraps his arms around Y/N’s frame for a moment before letting go. 

“Wednesday works perfectly.” 

The four continued to hang out well into the night; laughing, chatting, drinking, listening to music, and playing board games. As the party dragged on, Y/N couldn’t help but grow worried about Sirius’ whereabouts. Her worries were harshly pushed aside, though, when Lily suggested they play poker. 

“Ugh, I fold.” Peter slams his cards down onto the coffee table and laid back onto the carpet in defeat. Y/N smirked at Remus, her only opponent, and gestured for him to show her his cards. 

“Straight, beat that,” Remus says confidently. James and Peter “oooh” childishly and looked towards Y/N. It was very apparent that all of them, besides Lily, were very buzzed. 

Y/N smirked and shook her head, “You play a hard bargain, Lupin. So good that I applaud you. But,” Y/N laid her hand on the table: four of a kind. “You’re just not good enough.” 

The room laughs as Y/N pulls the large pile of galleons, sickles, knuts and Lily’s wedding ring towards her. Y/N slips it onto her own ring finger and holds her hand as if to admire it. 

“Oh, Lily, dear, don’t you just adore my new ring? Look at how it glistens in the light!” 

The redhead rolls her eyes and snatches it off of Y/N’s finger. “I’ll just be taking that,” She puts it back on. 

“It will forever be known to be my legal property, Evans. Don’t forget it!” 

“Does that mean I’m married to both of you now?” James smiles a dopey grin and looks back and forth between the two women. Y/N pretends to gag. 

“On second thought, I surrender my rights to your ring.” 

The group continued their laughter until the front door of the flat swung open. A very drunk Sirius Black stumbled in the door, dumbfounded as to why all of his friends were in his house. 

“Why are you guys here?” Sirius slurred, pulling up the shoulder of his leather jacket. He bumped the record player in the process, making Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac skip. 

“It’s Y/N’s birthday, Sirius,” Remus responded, his soft voice contrasting to his previously upbeat tone. Sirius slouched against the wall and slid down it until he hit the floor. 

“Y/N’s birthday...Y/N’s birthday...Oh! Y/N’s birthday! Was that today?” 

James was quick to jump into action. Propelling himself off of the couch, he took Sirius into his arms and brought him to a standing position. Sirius, of course, whined the entire way up, claiming that the floor wanted him to sit there. James responded with a small hum before peeling Sirius’ jacket off of his body and throwing it onto the kitchen counter. As Y/N watched, she couldn’t help but notice a bright pink smear on Sirius’ neck. 

“Yes, it’s today, you big goof. Where have you been?” 

Sirius went into a big flurry of words as James brought him towards the bedroom. Y/N thought she heard ‘And you should have seen her!’ amidst all the jumbled words, but she pied that off as her anxious imagination running awry. Lily’s hand found her back and she rubbed soothing circles on Y/N’s shoulder blades. 

“He forgot,” Y/N said to no one in particular. “I can’t believe he actually forgot.” 

“I’m sure he didn’t forget,” Lily soothed Y/N, rubbing circles into her shoulder blades. “He probably got carried away at happy hour, you know how he gets.” 

“Happy hour on Y/N’s birthday though?” Peter shook his head. Something about his tone didn’t sit well with Y/N. Lily shot a glare his way. 

The party did not last much longer; Remus said he had an interview with Dumbledore about a TA position at Hogwarts, Lily was tired, and Peter said that he was going on a mission tomorrow and needed rest. Y/N bid her friends farewell with large hugs and thank you’s. 

It’s safe to say that Y/N slept on the couch that night. 

~

Y/N awoke to sunlight in her eyes and a crick in her neck. The living room window wasn’t guarded with curtains, so even at the early hour of 4:30 AM, the room was illuminated with soft oranges, reds, and pinks. Y/N sat up and reached her hands above her head to stretch her back. She looks towards the bedroom door, listening for the soft snores of her boyfriend. Her neck screamed in agony, but she still stood and padded over to open the door. 

Y/N twisted the doorknob with care, trying to be as silent as humanly possible. She needed to see Sirius, not have a conversation with him. Alas, in all his glory, Sirius lied on his stomach with his mouth hung open and drool oozing onto the pillow. The girl admired how he looked as he slept; the sharp jaw, the perfect skin, the messy hair, the peaceful look gracing his features. He still wore his skinny jeans from the day previous, but at some point during the night, he discarded his white dress shirt. Y/N’s gaze darted around the floor until it landed on the crumpled fabric. 

Y/N glanced back at Sirius, admiring the artwork that filled his back. She remembered the day he got it; James cried when he first saw the gorgeous antlers. The low light highlighted the dark brown ink and seemed to make his skin appear airbrushed. Y/N smiled in spite of herself. 

Closing the door softly, Y/N walks into their small kitchen to prepare some tea in order to calm her nerves. The apartment was rather messy from the ‘party’ and Y/N had to dig through endless dirty dishes to find a mug clean enough to use. Y/N finally found one, a lavender mug that Marlene had given her for her 17th birthday, and set it on the counter while she filled the kettle. 

The kitchen wasn’t as dirty as Y/N previously thought. Sure, the sink was overflowing with dishes, but the kitchen itself was rather clean. And besides Sirius’ leather jacket, the counter was clear. The floor, though, was slightly sticky. Y/N sighs and flicks her wand; almost silently, the dishes start cleaning themselves. 

Y/N reaches for Sirius’ jacket, only to have a squishy substance fall onto her feet. She jumps back in surprise and disgust of the weird texture. But, the real panic sets in when she notices a big red spot on not only the floor but the leather jacket. Upon further investigation, Y/N realizes it’s the frosting from the cupcake Remus had given her. Sirius was very protective of this jacket and if he saw this, Y/N would be a dead man. So, she did the only reasonable thing she could think of: scrub the material with a wet paper towel. 

Thankfully, the frosting came off easily and didn’t stain the material. The only real obstacle was the sweet scent of the frosting lingering on the garment. Sirius had an insane sense of smell, so if he picked up even the slightest trail of sugar, Y/N would be busted. She delicately lifted the material to her nose. 

The musky scent of Sirius filled her nose as normal; leather, smoke, cologne, and spearmint. Y/N grinned at the familiar scent until she noticed a strong rose perfume almost ingrained into the leather. Y/N’s perfume smelled of vanilla. 

~

Y/N held her breath as she opened the door of the Silver Sickle, she was in no mood to see Vanessa again. All the same, Y/N put effort into her appearance just in case. She let out her breath when she noticed an old man behind the bar and Peter sitting in the corner. 

“Hey,” Y/N said breathlessly as she pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat down. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little nervous meeting Peter alone; the two seemed to rekindle their friendship after he and Sirius fought. He promised that he was just drunk and not thinking, and Y/N not wanting to cause childish conflict within their friend group, had accepted his apology. 

“Hey!” He squeaked. “I didn’t know if you wanted to day drink or not, so I just ordered you a water to start off with.” 

Y/N laughed awkwardly. “Thanks, Wormy.” She took a long sip from her straw, trying to slow her nervous heart. “So, uh, how’s the academy? James said you are taking more and more missions with the order.” 

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, it’s great! Being an Auror is really fun, you really get to show people who’s boss, ya know?” 

“Um, I guess?” 

“I think they’re gonna kick me out, though. I haven’t done the best job at catching who I’m pursuing.” Peter raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. 

“Oh? Why not?” Y/N glanced over the menu, only half listening to what her companion was saying. 

“I just like to play with them a ‘lil, like a cat and mouse. Except this time, I’m not the mouse.” 

Y/N looks at a delicious looking chicken sandwich on the menu and hums in response. 

“So, how are you and Sirius doing? It seemed pretty rough last week.” Peter takes a chunk of ice from his drink and starts chewing it. “If you want to talk about it, I guess.” 

This brings Y/N out of her sandwich-filled thoughts. “I don’t know, to be quite honest. We haven’t spoken much and I barely see him. He leaves early in the morning...comes home late at night…” Peter nods as if he was a therapist listening to a client. “I don’t want to assume the worst but he’s making it rather difficult.” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you this, because it isn’t really my business, but…” He comps down on the ice cube. “I was coming home from a mission a few nights ago and I saw him with a girl. I’m not quite sure what they were doing but it sure as hell didn’t look platonic.” 

Y/N felt her entire world shatter into her lap. “What?” 

“Yeah, I don’t know. She was really short with long black hair and a skimpy cocktail dress. They were walking into that club off of Coventry Street. I almost beat the fuck out of him right then and there, but there were bouncers.” 

Y/N bit her trembling lip and folded her hands in her lap. Rifling through her purse, she slammed the gift card down and stood. 

“Thanks for the lunch date, Peter, but I don’t feel well. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” 

“Was it something I said?!” Peter yelled at Y/N’s retreating back as she left the bar. 

~

“Are you going somewhere?” Sirius asked, gesturing to Y/N’s packed suitcases by the door. 

“Yup, I’m going to France for a week to aid burn victims,” Y/N finished brushing her teeth before packing her toothbrush. “Didn’t think you’d care.” 

“Well, I do. You could have told me.” He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms. 

“I would have if I actually saw you.” Y/N wasn’t in the mood to argue; she had about an hour before she had to leave, and she planned on using that time to relax with a cup of herbal tea. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You see me plenty.” 

“Yeah, when you’re sleeping or showering. There’s not exactly time to chat when you leave early in the morning and come home well past midnight.” Y/N walked into the kitchen and cut a slice of bread. “Oh, by the way, Caspar brought up some sourdough, if you actually want any.” 

“Don’t change the subject like you always do, Y/N. I work hard to support us, you know that.” 

“I work hard too. And I get home before 11 every night. I’m not exactly sure how being a healer gets you home earlier than a tattoo artist, but whatever.” Y/N buttered her now toasted sourdough. 

“Sometimes a piece takes a long time, that’s not my fault! I’ve been getting big jobs recently! You should be happy for me!” 

Y/N let out a harsh laugh as she poured water into the kettle. “Do you really think I’m that fucking stupid, Sirius? Really?” 

“What do you mean? I think you’re rather smart.” Sirius followed Y/N into the kitchen and was leaning against the counter. 

“Yeah? Then why have you been lying to me for the past, I don’t know, two months?” 

“You can’t keep accusing me of things, Y/N. It’s not fucking fair!” Sirius stared holes into Y/N’s back. “For fucks sake! Look at me when I talk to you!” 

Y/N whipped around, her hair fanning around her face as she spun. “You know what’s not fucking fair? Letting a girl feel you upright in front of me. Lying about going into work. Forgetting my birthday and coming home from who knows where drunk as fuck with lipstick smeared all over your neck. Coming home drenched in another girl’s perfume. Taking your fucking side chick to a strip bar while I’m sat at home wondering if you’re fucking dead because we’re in the middle of a fucking war! You don’t know the first thing about fucking unfair!” 

“You’re not going to France, Y/N.” His jaw was clenched and his eyes held nothing but fire. The tone of his voice was like nothing she had ever heard before, at least not directed at her. He usually reserved it for people who yelled nasty things at her from the street, or when someone bad mouthed James. It felt foreign to hear him use it with her. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. “You’re not fucking going, and that’s final.” 

“What are you? My fucking mother? I’m going because I’m actually doing something good for the world, unlike your cheating ass.” Y/N pushed her way past her boyfriend and towards her luggage. 

“Don’t walk away from me!” Sirius followed her strides. He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “Y/N, darling, we need to talk about this-” His tone was notably softer than before as if he was trying to glue together shards of glass. 

“Talk about what, Sirius?! How you cheated on me and won’t even deny it? How you betrayed me in the worst way fucking possible? I’m not going to let you manipulate me into putting my career on the line to work out some issue you caused.” 

“What, so now I’m not important? You’re a fucking hypocrite!” 

“And how exactly am I a hypocrite, Sirius? You treat me like shit and whine that I’m done putting up with it? Gonna go cry to James about how you are so upset I wouldn’t hear you out after you cheat on me? Well, go the fuck ahead because James actually has a healthy relationship with a baby on the way. He won’t sympathize with you.” Y/N grabbed the handle of her suitcase and lifted her wand. “I’ll be back in a week and once we’ve had some time to cool off, we’ll talk about this like adults. I’ll see you soon.” 

Just as Y/N apperated out of the room, the kettle whistled and Sirius noticed Y/N left her half-eaten toast on the counter. 

~

It was near two in the morning when Y/N returned home from France the following week. The home was cold, dark, and vacant, and the entire appearance of the small flat had changed. In a week, Sirius had managed to completely trash the house. Even the smell of freshly baked goods was replaced with the sour smell of firewhisky and sex. 

Y/N ventured into the kitchen first, where she observed the large stack of dishes in the sink. Everything from to-go packages to their fine china (normal glass plates from the thrift) were stacked as high as the eye can see. Some were starting to mold and produce the most horrid smell. The stove housed the kettle where Y/N had left it, but this time it was cold and empty. Another pot that contained crusty spaghetti sat next to the kettle, and Y/N cringed at the thought of scrapping it out. She moved to the counter where her toast, now stale, sat. Y/N picked it up between two fingers and threw it into the bin. 

She carried on into the living room next. The couch cushions were tossed about the room and the small fur throw was draped across the back of the couch. The record player in the corner still held the Fleetwood Mac record Moony had chosen on her birthday as if it were a time capsule; Y/N couldn't help but reminisce about how happy she was with her friends that evening. Maybe that proved that she could be happy without Sirius in her life, or maybe it served as a constant reminder that he was woven into every aspect of it. 

Again, the room was covered with food wrappers and alcohol bottles. Y/N feared the liquid that remained in the bottles would leak and stain the carpet, so before moving on to the bedroom, she set each one upright. 

The bedroom was what Y/N feared the most; without her presence in the home, Sirius could have been intimate with an infinite amount of girls in her own bed. She shivered at the thought but pushed on and reached towards the icy doorknob. 

The room was the cleanest out of the entire flat, just various clothes scattered around the floor and a messy bed. Y/N wanted nothing more but to curl up under her warm covers and press her face into the chest of the man she loved most, but that was an impossible task. He didn’t love her anymore and that was something she had to deal with, she just wished she had savored the last time he held her. 

As Y/N explored further into the room, her feet found an article of clothing that neither Sirius nor Y/N owned. Bending at the hips to pick it up, Y/N held a red, lacy v neck bra in between her fingertips. Y/N fingered the material with teary eyes. Another step forward and her feet came into contact with the matching bottoms. Y/N laid the set out neatly on the bed and wallowed; it must have looked stunning on her. 

Y/N walked to the desk, where an ink well was left open and a half-written letter laid face up on the surface. She capped the ink with a wet chuckle. 

“You need to cap your ink, Sirius. If you don’t it’ll dry out. I won’t be there forever to do it for you.” Y/N said aloud, wiping her running nose. She picked up the letter against her better judgment and began to read. 

Prongs,

I know you’re mad at me, but please just hear me out. Vanessa is gorgeous, mate. She’s sweet and nice, but at the same time she's so witty and smart-mouthed. She even listens to Queen and the Weird Sisters!

She made me believe in love at first sight, JP. 

I’m going to marry her one day, mark my words!

The ink began to run as Y/N read and cried, making small blotches of black contrast against the stark white paper. Y/N placed it onto the table and gripped the edge to steady herself. Never in her 21 years on earth had she ever felt such pain, such sorrow. Her pains were usually cushioned by Sirius’ arms and sweet slurred language in the middle of the night, or by her friends’ loud cackles. But this time, this time was different; she was alone, completely and utterly alone. 

Y/N looked to the wall in order to ground herself; a small sliver of silver moonlight slashed against the wall, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Y/N traced the line with her eyes until she landed on the wooden coo-coo clock. 

The clock was one of Sirius’ most prized possessions; it was a gift from his Uncle Alphard that he received when he ran away from the Black family.  Alphard was one of the few Sirius still kept in contact with, and he was a big role model to Sirius when he grew up. Debatably, Alphard was the one who taught Sirius how to be a man. 

The present seemed lame on the surface, but that clock was one of Sirius’ favorite things when he was a child. Sirius had told stories of the long afternoons he would spend in front of the clock, waiting for the small, yellow bird to pop out of the top while Walburga and Orion fought in the background. Y/N respected Alphard with all of her being, but she wanted nothing more than to smash that godforsaken clock. She wanted to destroy everything that made Sirius happy, she wanted him to be under the same pain he was putting her through.

Y/N knew what she had to do at that very moment: she had to get out of London and move far, far away. So far away that no one would ever find her. So, she grabbed the extra suitcases in the flat and began to pack her things. 

Starting at the record corner, she picked every single one of her belongings and shoved them into her suitcase. Y/N had to shrink a few of her belongings, such as the couch, in order to fit, but in a little less than an hour, every hint of Y/N was packed away in three large suitcases. 

Y/N gave one last look at the apartment before apparating to Paris, where she knew she could start a better, more meaningful life. Maybe, she could even find a fresh bakery to supply her with warm loaves of sourdough bread. 

When Sirius returned to the flat the following morning, the only remaining aspects of Y/N were a striped scarf and two galleons folded neatly on the bed next to Vanessa’s lingerie.